#anyway i was listening to my playlist the whole time writing this and i'm SAD

[ln444]

spider-man!lando

cw: strangers to friends to lovers, uni au, idiots in love, fluff fluff fluff, slight angst; comfort/hurt (reader comforting lando), sad and tired lando:::(((((, mention of blood/wounds/bruises.

words: ~1,5k

notes: hii i'm finally back:D, i've been thinking about abt spiderman lando for weeks now omg!!! anyway it took me so long to write this pls don't hesitate to leave feedbacks😭 enjoy<3

playlist (to listen to for a better experience !!!): daylight by harry styles, yellow by coldplay, sparks by coldplay (my fav song in the whole world)

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lando norris. the adorable, clumsy guy you spot every day in class. he's always in his own world, snoozing on his desk and consistently late –somehow managing to still have good grades. you've been watching him for a few weeks now, totally fascinated by the curly boy. a goofy smile always creeps onto your face when he does something silly like accidentally bumping into people and mumbling apologies or drooling on his notes while falling asleep in class.

oh, you definitely have a small crush on lando norris — or maybe even a big one. your mind has been filled with all sorts of ideas on how to approach him –daydreaming about it during class or as you're trying to fall asleep at night, finding yourself staring at your ceiling with a stupid grin, lost in thoughts of that adorable guy you've been keeping an eye on.

today, you stayed a bit longer in class, diligently recopying your notes from the previous lecture. however, you weren't alone; a dozing lando occupied a nearby table, blissfully drooling on his notes. concentration became a struggle as you wrapped up quickly, sighing as you stole glances at the dreamy boy. rapidly packing your bag without a sound, you approach him, taking a moment to admire the sleepy boy, a smile instantly gracing your lips as your heart melts. inhaling deeply, you find the courage to gently tap his shoulder.

"hey," you softly whisper, lando whimpering and stirring slightly. patiently, you wait, hoping his eyes will finally open. when they don't, a suppressed giggle will finally open, and you tap his shoulder again, a bit more insistently this time.

"wake up!" you whisper-scream, a blush coloring your cheeks as a hint of regret surfaces –maybe it was too much, maybe you should have let him sleep, uncertain if he'd appreciate your wake-up call. his eyes eventually flutter open, struggling to grasp the situation. once he does, he clears his throat, quickly fixing his posture and adjusting his glasses. the sight makes your heart feel like it might burst out of your chest.

"class is over," you say sofly, standing in front of him, resisting the urge to run your hand through his messy hair.

"what?" he groans, still attempting to shake off his sleepy state. "already?" he glances around in confusion, seeing the empty room before turning to you, finally becoming aware of the one who put him out of his sleep and his cheeks slightly turns red.

"do you need notes?" you ask, eager to have a conversation with him. the pink on your cheeks persists since he opened his eyes, intensifying as he looks at you with big, confused and sleepy eyes. his gaze shifts down to his notes, damp with drool, and suddenly his cheeks burns. clearing his throat once more, he nervously scratches the back of his head.

"oh... right... uh," his eyes return to you, hesitantly meeting yours, and you stand there, fighting the smile on your face. "i guess i could use some of your notes," he chuckles nervously, "if that's okay for you, of course!" he quickly adds, causing your heart to race dangerously close to exploding because of how cute he is.

"of course, you can give it back to me tomorrow," you smile, your stomach tightening with the anticipation of talking to him again.

"thank you," he softly says, still clearly in a sleep state and a bit lost, but he manages to offer you a shy smile that almost brings tears to your eyes.

"see you tomorrow, then," after giving him a final smile, you turn around, hearing a small "see ya!" behind you before leaving the class, feeling happier than ever.

lando runs a hand through his hair, attempting to process what just happened. conversations with people at uni is rare for him, making it a surprise when someone approaches. he gazes at the notes you handed him, lost in his thoughts for a few more minutes before reality hits him—he just embarrassed himself in front of a pretty girl.

"fuck..." a groan filled with frustration and embarrassment escapes his lips as he buries his face in his hands, his cheeks bruning.

______________________________

since that day, you and lando start having study sessions, usually at the library or in relaxed coffee shops. the transition is a bit of a mystery; lando returned your notes, and somehow, conversations about the lecture led you to offering help, which he accepted without hesitation.

your study sessions became more and more friendly, both of you getting comfortable in each other's company. you couldn't be happier, realizing that you get the chance to see him every day and appreciate the subtle details, like the way he crunches his nose when he is thinking or how his glasses slide down when he attentively listens to your explanations.

it's the way lando consistently gives you his full attention, not just during study sessions, but also when you share bits about yourself, your interests, or even random stuff you've seen on the internet or the way he never forgets to bring two snacks, always excited to share it with you and making sure you're eating and drinking well. despite his lateness, he puts effort to be present, sincerely apologizing and making it up to you everytime.

you somehow got used to his habit of arriving late, accepting that it's a part of who he is. even though frustration and questions nag at you occasionally, you never found the courage to ask and feel like you don't have the right to say anything. of course, there have been moments when you were mad, waiting for over an hour, but you're way too whipped for him to stay mad forever.

just like that, you find yourself slowly falling for lando. what started as a silly crush turned into something more profound; it's evident when butterflies go wild in your stomach at the sight of him, and your heart races unusually fast whenever he smiles at you.

lando can't quite understand how you've become a constant presence in his thoughts. the frequency of your hangouts has become unexpectedly high, something unusual for him. being spider-man and a student was already challenging enough; adding a social life seems nearly impossible. he tried before –having friends, attending parties, socializing –but it never lasted, the fatigue and busyness making it hard to keep up.

with you, everything feels different for lando. falling this hard was unexpected from the moment he first asked you to study with him. slowly, he starts making time for you, always finding a way to see you, even if study sessions became an excuse. you became a ray of sunshine in his life, bringing light to his otherwise tiring days. whenever he feels miserable, a glance at you makes everything feels right.

beyond study sessions, you both start having dates –that's how you secretly both call your hangouts. lando takes you to the arcade, introducing you to his favorite games, while you share cherished spots in your favorite park; sitting there, watching swans, you engage in lighthearted conversations, while your hearts secretly beat for each other, missing the subtle starstruck gazes and the way your cheeks burn when your hands accidentally brush against each other.

the worst part for lando is finding himself thinking about you even in the midst of fighting villains, getting distracted more than he should. it frustrates him how he can't shake you from his mind, even when he's spider-man. at first, he hated himself for it, attempting to ignore his growing feelings. but it become undeniable the day you smiled at him with the most sincere and loving expression. in that moment, he realized he was already too deep into it and let himself drown deeper into the feeling.

________________________________

letting out a frustrated whimper, you bury your head in your hands. you've been attempting to finish this essay for hours now, but thoughts of the curly-haired boy persistently invade your mind. you've tried to push him out, if only for a moment, to focus on this stupid homework, but he always finds a way back into your thoughts. being stuck in your small apartment due to villains doesn't make the situation any easier.

sighing for the umpteenth time tonight, you stare at the almost white screen of your pc, hoping that motivation will miraculously appear. amidst your frustration, a subtle noise catch your attention. you turn around, your eyes scanning outside. you notice nothing out of the ordinary, brushing it away and convincing yourself it was just a passing bird. you had bigger problems anyway.

as you try to refocus on your work, the persistent noise grows louder, intensifying your unease. determined to dismiss it, you turn around for a second time, only to be shocked by the unexpected sight of lando. his face is covered with bruises, and he's struggling to climb the last steps of the fire escape stairs. reacting quickly, you jump from your chair, urgently guiding your steps as you open the window to lend him a hand.

"oh my god lando!" you choke on your own split, and lando lets out a pained groan, fighting to maintain his balance as he relies on you. with careful effort, he makes it to the sofa, collapsing upon it. you rush to his side, cupping his bruised face, your heart sinking as you take a look at the injuries. the sight nearly brings you to tears, a mix of concern and distress filling your stomach.

lando looks drained, the effort to keep his eyes open visible on his face. despite the weakness, he manages to maintain an unwavering gaze locked onto yours. the pain you're reading in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine, making your heart heavy.

"lando... what happened?" you say softly, your voice betraying the dryness in your throat. his response is delayed, taking a minute for lando to found the strength to answer. throughout this time, his hands grip your shirt, and his eyes remain fixed on yours, unbroken since he arrived.

"just a stupid fight... i'm fine," his voice is deep and weak, feeding your concern. despite the fatigue, he manages a small, gentle smile.

"what do you mean you're fine? are you kidding me?" you try to keep your voice soft, not wanting to add tension. "let me take care of you first, then you're going to tell me everything," with a sigh, you stand up, but lando's hands on your wrist stops you. you can't miss the painful groan that escapes him.

"i'm fine... i promise," he says weakly, his words carrying a weariness that tugs at your concern. "you're not fine, lando!" you voice unintentionally rises, a reflection of your worry, but you regret it the moment you lock your eyes with lando's softened gaze.

your hand instinctively reaches for his cheek, your thumb gently tracing the lines of his bruised skin. "it's okay, let me take care of you, please?" you implore, your voice adopting a softer tone. lando's heart seems to respond, warmth spreading as he relaxes, gently releasing your wrist.

"okay," he mumbles, too tired to resist, and you hurry to the bathroom to get your aid kit. returning swiftly, you find an exhausted lando, battling fatigue. your heart tightens, and you take a deep breath, holding back tears. lando starts regretting coming to you, the worry on your face making him feel guilty. as you come back, without a warning, you put an arm around him –and he's surprised that even in this awful state, you manage to make his heart beat faster. "let's get you on the floor," you gently suggest, doing your best to avoid hurting him. with a few soft whimpers, lando makes it to the ground, and you sit in front of him, getting the closer you can.

you gently take his chin between your fingers, inspecting the wounds again, unable to get over the extent of his injuries. lando feels his cheeks burn from the closeness and attention, his heart racing. without wasting any time, you start cleaning the bruises, handling him carefully.

your eyes shift to his white shirt, now stained with fresh blood, revealing notable marks underneath. a gasp escapes you, and you look at lando, your hands gripping the bottom of his shirt. "can i?" you timidly ask in a quiet voice, and lando don't hesitate to nod, trusting you more than anyone. you proceed to gently take off his shirt, ensuring not to cause him more pain. he winces, and your eyes fall on his wounded body, your hand instinctively covering your mouth. "oh my god..." you fingers trace the big and deep wounds, and lando watches you with remorseful eyes.

you don't add anything, wanting to take care of everything as soon as possible so he can finally rest. a comfortable silence fills the room as you begin with his face, gently cleaning and bandaging the wounds.

on the other hand, lando can't tear his eyes from you, enjoying your pouty expression because of your concentration. occasionally, he closes his eyes when you touch a sensitive area, his lips parting to release small groans. you find yourself apologizing each time, looking at him with sympathetic eyes.

you take a second look at his blood-covered body, and a million of questions race through your mind. this can't be a simple fight. lost in your thoughts, you don't notice lando's gaze or the flush on his cheeks due to your intense staring of his chest. he's about to call your name, but you're quicker than him.

"are you hiding something, lando?" you gently speak, your hands cupping his face with tenderness. you give him a soft look that seeks not just the truth but a shared vulnerability. lando opens his mouth to respond, but the words gets stuck in his throat, caught between the desire to tell you everything and the fear of exposing too much.

"i..." he starts, the weight of unspoken words evident in his eyes. sensing his struggle, you lean in closer, a soft and reassuring forming on your lips. your fingertips dance gently over his cheek. "you know you can tell me everything, right ?" you whisper, your voice filled with understanding. lando don't even dare to blink, drawn into the sincerity in your gaze.

without hesitation, he closes the gap with a tender kiss. your mind momentarily pauses, trying to process the situation. slowly, you kiss him back, feeling the heaviness of his heart in the softness of the kiss.

pulling back slowly, your eyes meet again, and there is a change in lando's expression. the warmth is replaced by a hint of concern, even sadness, making you rise an eyebrow curiously; "wh-"

"i'm spider-man."

his words hang in the air, and it takes a moment for you to process, leaving lando feeling like he's on the verge of a breakdown. completely petrified, he continues, "i understand if you don't want to see me anymore... i-"

"lando," you try to cut him off, but he's panicking, his eyes welling up, and it tugs your heart. "god, i'm so stupid," the instant regret hits him, he keeps mumbling, expressing his fear of messing everything up. it becomes too much for him, and he bursts into tears. without hesitation, you wrap your arms around him, holding him as tight as you can.

"hey, you're okay. it's okay, i'm here," you softly whisper in his ear, your hand gently rubbing his back. the sound of his sobs makes your heart ache, as if it's breaking into pieces. "i'm so tired," his voice is muffled, but you can hear all the pain and exhaustion in it. your stomach tightens, feeling your own eyes burn as you try to hold back the tears.

you let him cry in your arms for a moment, letting him take it all out, whispering sweet and reassuring words in his ears. your hand hasn't left his hair, stroking it gently. you feel him finally calm down, his sobs getting quieter.

he finally decide to look up, meeting your eyes and the sight breaks your heart; his eyes are puffed and red, accentuated by his bandaged bruises. you immediately grab his face, overwhelmed by a sudden rush of empathy and affection.

"do you still want me? even if i'm spider-man," his voice is soft, and you could feel all the exhaustion in it.

"of course, lando, why wouldn't i?" you reply without any second thought, sincerity evident in your eyes, softening lando's heart.

"i don't know... i'm always late and... tired," his voice is weak and hesitant, and you wish he'd stop talking and just rest.

"you're always late, but you're always here. you always do your best to make it." you reassure him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer with a soft smile. "it's okay to be tired, especially with your life, you should never apologize for that." your hand finds its way to his hair, "even when you're tired, you find the strength to take care of me and spend time with me. and for me, that means a lot," you gently stroke his hair, comforting him.

lando's eyes remain locked onto yours, caught in the sincerity they hold, and he swears his heart could explode at any moment just from hearing your words.

"you're so good to me..." he says in a whisper, pulling you into a quick but sweet kiss that makes both of your hearts melt. "of course, you deserve it," you whisper back, stealing a other kiss. "let me finish taking care of you, and then you can finally rest." you don't give him the time to complain, pulling back to resume cleaning his wounds.

after what felt like an eternity, you finish bandaging the last wound, looking up to find an exhausted lando. he fell asleep multiple times but insisted on staying awake until you finish. without wasting a minute, you put your arm around him to help him up, struggling to guide him to the bed where he manages to use his last drops of strength to remove his pants. once he's laid on the bed, you turn around to clean up the bandages on the floor, but lando immediately stops you, pulling you down.

"don't go," he whispers, and you smile, laying beside him without any hesitation, welcomed by his warm embraced.

you gaze at the sleepy boy beside you, your fingers gently ghosting his cheek.

"thank you," he says softly, and the sincerity in his words resonates. you offer him a loving smile, putting your lips on his for a passionate kiss. you manage to pull away just in time before lando succumbs to the sandman.

in that moment, it hits you—the boy you've fallen in love with is spider-man. a proud smile spreads across your face as you look at the peacefully sleeping lando beside you.

"i'm so proud of you," you whisper, determined to repeat those words to him tomorrow and every single day after that.

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tysm for reading! don't hesitate to leave a feedback if you liked it<3

[fireintheimpala]

McLennon Playlists

I have been working putting together some McLennon playlists. I mean "McLennon" pretty broadly and vaguely with these lists, so choose your own adventure. It's a useful short portmanteau for for the creative partnership of Lennon/McCartney. But I do also think there is a powerful human relationship here, disregarded from the classic Beatles narrative. And I think this relationship is pivotal to much of their songwriting.

This is a work in progress but here are the acts so far:

Act I: The Beatles before India '68. This is a foundational period. For the most part, I don't think these songs are consciously referencing each other. Rather, they providing a foundation for future references. That said, I think Hide Your Love Away deserves a second look.

Act II: The Beatles after India '68. The contrast is remarkable. Not everything on this list is written by Lennon/McCartney. I think George's While My Guitar Gently Weeps is actually the best expression for the whole time. Anyway, they're breaking up. Passionately. Chronology is a total mash since most of these songs were written or produced in a small period of time.

Act III: The 70's up through approximately 1975. Here especially the chronology of songs begins to be sacrificed for highlighting some back and forth. I personally find their mirroring right after the Beatles--with the front and center band wives and antipodal messages right when they're sending each other cutting missives through hit singles--hilarious. But after that you get this escalating back and forth in moods. Still sent through international hits! Lol. Which they simply presume will work. Anyway, if you listen in order, the positivity increases. Unfortunately, a playlist shift is required once John returns to Yoko in 75ish.

Act IV: '76ish through 1980. After a period of musical productivity and reconnecting with old friends including McCartney, John returns to Yoko. Let's not weight into that but merely note that it changes all music vibes for both musicians. John goes completely silent for 5 years, except for later release home demos. (I'm using Spotify for this which doesn't have most of Lennon's demos unfortunately. But the demos for Free as a Bird and Real Love are recorded during this time so those songs are included. Now and Then demo also, but c'mon let's save that.) McCartney in the meantime writes a series of IMPASSIONED songs about things like his baby who won't call him back, and his lover who needs to beware. Idk what is going on with Wings in production, but LIVE he is absolutely wailing. He starts '76 going on tour worldwide with every song so far I would ever include in these lists. He wails into that void so hard... Things dip, but then escalate back up in 1980. Coming Up. Starting Over Again. But then unfortunately...

Act V: Post Dec 8, 1980. Pending. There's a lot here, but it's so sad it's taking me awhile.

Please contribute suggestions if I've missed relevant songs!

I'll be working on providing more details explanations of some song inclusions.

[rollercoasterwords]

genuinely thank you so much for writing thtf. it's my favourite thing to read in the whole world for so many reasons. like other than where it's obviously devastating (in SUCH a good way), idk it just makes me so happy

I think it's the first wip i followed from start to finish and I have to say that part of 2022 was not the greatest but yk, every few days there'd be a new chapter. and it was great.

I fucking love Dorcas talking about "a butterfly in the palm of your hand" it's changed the way I think so much. like you would not expect this from a fanfic lmao but it's pretty much exactly what I needed to hear at the time. living just to live, even if it's complete shit, not caring about what they're leaving behind. ch 42 (i think) where all they're doing is just washing the dishes but it's so special and they're listening to dawn storm is so important to me I love it SO much. fucking amazing.

ngl I don't really think there's anything I don't like. every character feels so right - regulus in particular sticks out to me, like there's such a good balance between him doing pretty bad things because he's not a particularly "good person" but also not being a complete dick. also I would die for marlene mckinnon and the way you write her is just so fucking good. the way she is just so alive to make up for her shorter life is so beautiful to me. I could ramble on for a very long time about everything in this fic but I dont want this to get too long lol

the music you put on the chapters is also really good like I'm pretty sure the first time I read it I didn't listen the music and then I reread it with the music and it was like a whole different experience

yeah i would've sent this earlier (like maybe a year ago) but looks like I put it off for a really long time lol

also - really love where atwmd is going rn I'm so excited for more chapters, i love Sirius Black etc etc

ahh thank u this is so sweet! i love hearing that thtf resonated w people it definitely feels like the fic kinda took on its own life & became a little philosophical journey that i was not entirely expecting lol. i think writing a story where i knew my main characters were going 2 die the whole time really made me contemplate like. ok what do i actually want 2 say abt death, and by way of that what do i wanna say abt life? bc like. as someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife i didn't wanna write a story that says "well it's ok bc they can be happy in the afterlife" <3 bc like. that does not comfort me lol. & i also didn't wanna write a story that was like "it's ok bc there's gonna be a good future 4 others after them," bc i think life means something and matters even outside of futurity. i didn't wanna play into this narrative that u have 2 Do Something 2 make ur life meaningful by making sure u have an impact on the future, etc; i wanted 2 write abt life as meaningful outside of that. & i also specifically wanted 2 write abt life as something beautiful & meaningful even with the bad stuff mixed in, and even if death is abrupt and scary and painful and unwanted. like i purposely made both their deaths pretty brutal bc i personally find the idea of a "bad death" really scary! the idea of dying before ur ready, dying scared or alone or in pain or all three, etc...and i think part of why that's so scary is bc we place this big emphasis, again, on a linear timeline of life, where death is The End, and if The End is bad, then the story's a sad one. but death is just one moment in the sum total of billions of moments throughout your life; why should that bad cancel out all the good? why should a story be sad, just because the last page of it is sad? you can open the book to any page and find happiness, and love, and warmth, etc. & that's what i'm trying 2 say w "a story is not its end."

anyway. this got much longer than expected lol i love 2 ramble abt thtf but! again ty 4 the kind words glad u enjoyed the fic glad u enjoyed the music as well!! i love the playlist 4 that fic <3

[lveclouds]

↬ pairing/characters: spy wonwoo x reader, other members may be mentioned

↬ genre/aus: heavy angst, zero to no fluff (im so sorry, this fic is essentially 100% angst), non idol au, spy au 

↬ summary: in which you remember the spy that loved you and how he broke your heart.  

↬ rating(s): m,18+ (see warnings) 

↬ tw: heavy swearing, sad ending (yep this one’s a sad one folks), mentions of injuries (brief), mild violence (mainly mentions, nothing graphic), wonwoo’s a sweetheart and also self-sacrificing:((, reader needs a huge hug, mild violence (mentions only, no actual scenes depicted), brief mentions of nightmares (brief)

↬ wc: 2.2k 

↬ note: this fic was yet another one that came out of nowhere <3 i have zero self control lmao anyways the title of this fic comes from the song ‘moments’ by one direction, and this fic is also loosely based off the song as well <3 this fic WILL hurt, so i apologize in advance for the emotional damage i will cause (im sending all of you the biggest hugs) and yes i listened to an angsty playlist while writing this oops i have zero regrets  

tears stung your eyes as you lay curled up in a ball on your bed, clutching a worn stuffed animal to your chest. the bear had been gifted to you by your mother when you were seven, and you'd never had the heart to give it away. 

it was times like these, when your heart felt that it would shatter into a million fragments, that you were grateful for the stuffed bear's presence. 

your body shook with sobs as images of wonwoo's gorgeous smile flashed across your mind. the memory of his gentle touches and kisses were burned into your skin like a brand. 

and if you closed your eyes, you could still see him standing in your small kitchen, raven hair mussed, sweatpants low on his hips, humming softly to himself as he made breakfast, see the utter fondness and adoration in his eyes whenever he looked at you, cleaving your heart in two, never to be fixed or made whole again. 

loving wonwoo was as easy as breathing, and you had bared yourself to him, heart and soul. he was gentle, kind, and loved with all his heart. wonwoo wasn't an overly affectionate person, but he showed his love in other ways: through quality time and acts of service. 

he would always sit next to you on the spacious living room couch, nose buried in a thick paperback, glasses sliding down his nose, while you watched your favorite drama, happily munching on snacks. 

wonwoo wouldn't say anything, and yet, those were the times with him that you had treasured the most. sometimes, the nights would end with you falling asleep on his shoulder, and the warmth and solidness of him was enough. 

it was enough to convince you that wonwoo would forever be a permanent presence in your life. hot tears scalded your cheeks, blurring your vision, and you let out a helpless whimper, clutching your teddy bear closer to your chest. the day he left still lingered in your mind, for it'd been the day that your entire world collapsed. wonwoo hadn't yelled, hadn't screamed at you, hadn't lashed out like you'd expected him to.

instead, he had given you a sad, teary-eyed smile, strong arms wrapping themselves around you, holding you flush against him, as if he were reluctant to let go. you had sobbed into his shirt, curling your fingers in the soft fabric, the woodsy scent of his cologne hitting your nose, comforting and familiar.

"i'm sorry, love, i wish it didn't have to be this way, and leaving you, leaving all the memories we made, is the hardest fucking thing i've ever had to do, and one day, i hope you will forgive me for hurting you. i will never be able to live with myself knowing that i did, and i won't blame you if you come to resent me one day. i would."

"thank you for loving me. thank you for loving all of me, the good, the bad, the ugly, and for loving me even with all the blood on my hands, despite all the danger i put you in. the danger that you are put in because you’re with someone like me.” and, after giving you one last kiss, dizzying and enough to make you weak in the knees, he left, taking your heart with him.

you knew wonwoo’s job wasn’t exactly ordinary, as he’d often come home at ungodly hours at night, bone-tired and with the occasional cut or bruise marring his perfect skin, and you hated those nights when you’d had to patch him up, for the sight of him in pain was too much to bear. 

wonwoo would sometimes be gone for days, even weeks at a time, unable to be contacted, and you would cry yourself to sleep every night, hoping and praying that he would come back to you, safe and sound.  

you’d always felt safe with wonwoo. despite the ruthlessness and mercilessness he showed when dealing with the men that were always chasing after him, it was a great contrast from the gentle touches and kisses you received. wonwoo had never hurt you, had always treated you like fine china, and that to you had been enough.  

it hadn’t mattered that scary looking men hunted him down every night, and wonwoo had had to close your eyes everytime he was about to defend himself and you, telling you to close your eyes. close your eyes love, i don’t want you to see this ugly, dark side of me, was what he always said. 

wonwoo was a mystery, and though you had managed to get past his seemingly iron clad defenses, there were still things he kept from you. he never talked about his job, nor why he disappeared for a few weeks and came back. 

when you had mustered up enough courage to ask him, wonwoo’s entire body grew tense, and you could see the fear dancing in his gorgeous light blue eyes. “do you not trust me?” you had asked, heart breaking at the thought that wonwoo didn’t trust you. devastation had flashed across his face. “of course i trust you, more than anyone in this world.” “then why? why won’t you tell me why you disappear without warning and then come back weeks or even months later? why? are you seeing someone else?” 

at that, wonwoo’s jaw flexed, just slightly. “no, of course not, it’s always been you for me, no one else. i can’t tell you why i’m away for weeks and months, it’ll put us in danger if i do. especially you. but promise me love, that you will trust me? i’m trying to find a way out, a way out of this cursed life i was led to live. will you wait for me?” “yes, i’d wait a hundred years for you.” 

the tears came faster now, streaming down your face like a waterfall, as you remembered how wonwoo had taken you into his arms afterwards, holding you close and whispering sweet nothings into your ear, rubbing comforting circles on your back. you hated the people that had forced wonwoo to take up a career he didn’t want, and for taking away the one man you had ever loved.  

”i won’t blame you if you come to resent me one day. i would.” you let out a choked sob, for you could never resent wonwoo for leaving you, even if it felt as if your heart had been ripped out of your chest. it’d been nearly two years since wonwoo had left, and that had been the last time you’d heard from him.  

you’d found out what wonwoo was so hell bent on keeping from you on a rainy day, of all days, and he had been gone for three weeks. the curiosity and urge to know what wonwoo was hiding was overwhelming, and you’d decided to look through the office he’d had installed some summers ago.  

after a few hours, your search had proven to be fruitless, and you’d been about to give up when you stumbled upon a worn cardboard box hidden in the closet. with shaking hands, you’d lifted the lid of the box and felt your heart drop into your stomach.

  inside was a dozen or so fake ids, passports, and a plethora of classified documents that you didn’t have the courage to go through. you’d sat on the floor in a daze afterwards, mind whirring with a million thoughts, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or cry at the absurdity of the situation. wonwoo, the selfless and beautiful man you had fallen in love with, was a fucking spy.  

said male had arrived home days later, and you had mustered up the courage to confront him about the box he’d hidden in the closet, hot tears streaming staining your cheeks. “am i part of your mission? did the agency want you to pretend to fall in love with me so you could get information? do you even really love me? or has our entire relationship been one complete lie?” 

you’d lamented, and the look of absolute horror and devastation that had flashed across wonwoo’s face was enough to feel a pang of guilt shoot through you.  

“no, never. while falling in love with you was something i never planned or expected, it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, and i will never regret it, not even if my life is on the line."  you had crumpled to the ground, knees giving out as you collapsed to the floor. wonwoo had immediately rushed over to you, pulling you into his arms and holding you as you sobbed into his chest. 

after that, wonwoo began to be more honest with you about his job, telling you that the reason he was away for weeks or even months at a time was because of missions that his boss had demanded him go on. you were grateful that he trusted you not to tell anyone about his job, but you couldn’t help but feel paranoid. paranoid that something terrible was going to happen to you, or god forbid, wonwoo.

and because your intuition was too sharp, you had begun to notice cars tailing you and wonwoo, particularly after dinners and outings with his friends, hoshi, woozi, dokyeom, mingyu, scoups, vernon, joshua, jeonghan, minghao, jun, and seungkwan. then, one night, wonwoo had told you to close your eyes, albeit softly. 

“close your eyes, love,” he’d say, “and don’t open them until i say so.” you’d do as wonwoo would say, not daring to open your eyes until he deemed it safe. you faintly remembered the loud boom of a gun, and the loud screech of tires as wonwoo drove like a madman. there were nights where you were too scared to go out, for the fear of being followed or hunted down was overwhelming. 

wonwoo had one of his friends, jeonghan, who was an expert in cyber security, install a special security system in your home, and for mingyu and minghao to watch over you while he was away on missions. 

you were glad for the aforementioned males’ presence, as they were gentle and kind and always made sure you were okay. there were nights where you would wake up sobbing, due to terrible nightmares, and mingyu or minghao, who were sleeping in the guest rooms down the hall, would come rushing in and pull you into a comforting hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back. 

the relief that would course through you whenever wonwoo would come home, unscathed from a mission, was overwhelming. there were many nights spent where he would just hold you, and you would breathe in his comforting woodsy scent, basking in the warmth and familiarity of him. 

the day that he told you that his agency was relocating was the worst day of your life. you had begged him not to go, to stay and give up his dangerous career, but wonwoo had smiled sadly, taking you into his arms for the last time, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. “i wish things were that simple, and i would give up my career for you in a heartbeat, but unfortunately, i can’t just up and leave, even if i wanted to.” 

it hurt, everything hurt, and the last words that wonwoo had ever said to you still lingered in your mind. “promise me, love, that if our paths never cross again, if i am not able to come back to you, that you will find the strength to be happy. i won’t be able to live with myself if you aren’t happy and being loved and cherished by someone, even if it’s not me.” 

hot tears scalded your cheeks as you sobbed, heart cracking and chest heaving with uneven breaths. i’m sorry, my love, but i don’t i will ever be able to move on. you were the greatest joy in my life, and now that you’ve left me, i have nothing left. i will never be able to love someone as deeply as i did you.  

a/n: i’m so sorry y’all :(( i promise my next fic won’t be as depressing slkdljkjfdj anyways i hope you all enjoyed this sad fic, i honestly nearly cried writing this. i am sending you all the biggest hugs, and know that you are important and loved <3 

tagging: @sketchguk​ , @playmetheclassics​, @skyjoong​ , @adulttoast​, @taeyo95​ , @seokmins​ @shuashong​ , @joonminshua ​+ anyone else who wants to read this :)

[malarkgirlypop]

MALARKEY MY LOVE!

Please could I ask you 10,11,12 and 23 for the positivity game?

Kate I love you so much. Thank you for everything 💕

EUGENE MY SWEET!

10 - an oc that you can't get enough of?

Now I need to catch up on some reading! But I stumbled across this little old blog and something just caught my eye! @next-autopsy OC Birdie, now I don't like to brag but I called the love interest very early on! And I just loved the story and have been hooked ever since!

11 - songs that you associate with a certain character?

Well I have made a whole playlist for the boys bruh I just scrolled through my whole feed, I can't find it! But anyway a song I associate with my man Donald would have to be Shortline RY X, I feel like every time I write a scene with him and Em this is playing.

12 - songs that you associate with certain mutuals?

IM GOING TO MAKE THEM ALL SAD DEAL WITH IT!

@footprintsinthesxnd I associate you with the song Bigger than the whole sky , you are a TS fan, and this song even tho sad it's soft and gently just like you. I love to sing it in the car, when I'm happy or sad. The lyrics are so poetic just like you, my love.

@next-autopsy IDK why but Karma Police I love this song so much, it's in my sad playlist but it gives me sad angry vibes, I feel like you would just jam to this. I feel this in my bones for you. I can't explain it. You are momma bear and you will fight for all of us, this song is you.

@panzershrike-pretz You are my sunshine and I don't think I have to say much more. You are a ray of sun on a cloudy day. You make me happy!

@sweetxvanixlla Only the vocals on this song are so haunting and beautiful, idk why it reminds me of you, just a vibe. I love this song so much never fails to make me cry, and I literally sent photos of me crying to you so! ahaha!

@xxluckystrike Chemtrails makes us bawl, sorry to have told you that was her dad ahaha. I love this song so much and I love you too! I listen to the song and think of you cause we talked about it ahaha!

@samwinchesterslostshoe I'm your man I love this song for you, I know you like this song for you. The lyrics are so good, and it just suits you!

@whollyjoly Come into my arms oml this so is sweet, awwww I love it and IDK why but it goes with you! Come and take my hand, is so you coded, you are a helping hand that picks us up when we fall.

23 - what's your fav wip of yours?

Can I say MEDIC! Because MEDIC! I love it she is my baby, makes me cry so hard and then laugh and im the maniac that is writing it!

[craby-bouquet]

Warm Winter Promptlist

We're back with a new Warm Winters!

I started this series in 2019 to fight winter blues with fluff! You can find the whole Warm Winters series here!

You can find the prompts under the cut. So...

Send me a Seventeen or BTS member and 1 or 2 prompts and I will write a short, fluffy story using your prompts and your man!!

Warm winters 2023-2024

1 "Take mine, I don't need it anyway."

2 "You're cold, aren't you?"

3  "There's… only one bed."

4 "Your love will keep me warm."

5 "Those lights are beautiful there."

6 "You bought me a present? I thought we weren't gonna do presents this year."

7 "no I won't be your fake partner to your office Christmas party, don't you remember what happened last time!?"

8 "Don't lie. You hate it."

9 ""You've been laying on my arm all night and I can't feel it."

10 "Yeah so, funny story, I actually thought you would maybe give me a new years kiss? But I guess not, which is fine! Don't worry. I didn't really care anyway." 

11 "...Wow. You look like a princess."

12 "Dance with me."

13 "I… I didn't know you could play the piano."

14 "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

15 "Sing for me?"

16 "It'll be a blue Christmas without you."

17 "I miss you."

18 "All I want for Christmas is you."

19 "I really can't stay."

20 "Baby it's cold outside."

21 "That's a tad too optimistic for me."

22 "Why are you awake right now?"

23 "Wake up! Please wake up! It snowed!"

24 "Is there a reason you're blushing right now?" 

25 "Have you seen my hoodie? You know that one with the blue stripe in the… Wait, you're wearing it, aren't you?"

26 "Are we on a date right now?" "No. We're snowed in." "Ah… so it is a date then?"

27 "I'm not blushing, I'm just cold -or warm. or… whatever. But I'm not blushing."

28 "I think I'm in love with you."

29 "You want hot chocolate?"

30 "The moon sure does look beautiful tonight."

31 "All I do is drink hot drinks and say bad words."

32 "Your feet are so cold!" 

33 "I'm too sober for this."

34 "Wow! I didn't know you could sing."

35 "We'd both warm up faster if we would take off our clothes." "Fuck off."

36 "A water fight? Are you crazy? It's way too cold for that."

37 "I'm the reason you got sick in the first place. So yes, I am indeed going to take care of you."

38 "Can you put on anything other than the Spotify Christmas playlist? I'm sick of it."

39 "It's January! Why are you still listening to Mariah Carey?"

40 "So… valentines is coming up…"

41 "Santa left a lot of presents this year."

42 "Wow, I asked for you, and I actually got you. That Santa guy really is amazing."

43 "I don't want that, I just want to finish my book."

44 "I wanted to say 'I love you' for the first time on Christmas Eve…  but I guess you were a step ahead of me."

45 "Tell me that when you're sober."

46 "Who thought I'd find my soulmate on new years eve?"

47 "You've been giving me bedroom eyes for the last half hour."

48 "“All I want is to sleep by your side.”

49 “I didn’t get soaking wet and ice cold by walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

50 "I missed you."

51 "Are you trying to seduce me?"

52 "How can even still see out of your glasses? They're so dirty!"

53 "I always wanted a Christmas wedding."

54 "Kiss me."

55 "I'll cry." "Is that meant to be a threat?"

56 "That's starting to get on my nerves."

57 "Okay, answer me honestly. Are you, or are you not, Satan himself?"

58 "How can you not like christmas?"

59 "Will you marry me?"

60 "is... Is that a mistletoe? Now that's good timing"

61 "You should have told me sooner."

62 "That might actually be the best present I ever got."

63 "I didn't know you could play the piano."

64 "Are you seriously wearing a donkey onesie?"

65 "no I'm not drunk and yes that was a serious question!"

66 "Wait! Hold that thought! I really, really need to pee. Be right back."

67 “Are you an angel?”

68 "I hope our baby looks like you." 

69 "Don't be so gentle. You can hug me tighter y'know- I'm not going to pop or anything."

70 "I'll run you a nice, warm bath." "Excuse me? Why don't you run us a bath? I'm not gonna bathe by myself, that's boring."

71 ""Happy Valentine's Day"

72 "This is not what I meant when I told you to fall for me."

73 "Who would have thought I would find my soulmate on new years eve?"

74 "Your nose is so red, you look like Rudolph. Are you sure you're okay?"

75 "Look, it's a full moon tonight."

76 "I know we're engaged but I'm so in love with you."

77 "You outshine the stars."

78 "Did you mean that romantically this whole time?"

79 "Look, The blossom is coming through already."

80 "You made it."

masterlist | warm winter masterlist

[starlightsearches]

Aaaaand maybe track 11, with Eddie? I’d choose a love song for him, but I really am curious as to what you’d do with this song…..eheh….ya know it, fave song is Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo 😅❤️❤️❤️

All Dressed Up with Nowhere to Go

Track 11 - Hungry Heart by Bruce Springsteen: Pick a character and tell me your favorite song, and I'll write a short blurb or headcanons based on it.

Kas! Eddie x GN! Reader

thank you, irma! i'd never listened to dead man's party before, but it fucking SLAPS. i hope you like what i made for you 🥰

📼✨ mixtape milestone ✨📼 requests open through march 1st

Warnings: drinking, puking, ANGST, talk of death and mourning, making out, blood sucking for the sluts uwu, language, a very open ending

Your hand is getting cold.

You let your eyes wander down briefly, stopping when you spy the cause. There's punch spilling over the edge of your cup, trickling down your hand and leaving a sticky red stain behind.

Your mind's been on the run all night—or at least after the last four drinks—always looking for something simple to focus on but never staying long.

The sweaty condensation dripping down the windows. The thumping base traveling from the dance floor. And now the way the punch shines like blood against your skin in the spooky lights Steve spent the afternoon hanging.

"Hey, hey, hey."

A big hand covers your own, reaching for the cup, and you pull it back on instinct, trying to place the pretty brown eyes.

Steve. Of course. Speak of the devil.

He looks handsome, and very Harrison Ford-esque in the vest you found together at the costume shop. The costume fits him better than the Leia dress does you. In all the billowing white fabric, you look like a ghost every time you catch your own reflection.

So maybe that fits you fine. You hardly feel like you're here at all.

There's a crease between Steve's brows, and he reaches for the cup in your other hand. You pull back on instinct, sloshing punch in the other direction. It lands with a loud splat on the floor.

"I think you've had enough," he says softly.

Steve purses his lips, and you know he's holding back a whole slew of unhelpful phrases. You've heard them all—I know it's hard, but you have to try and enjoy yourself. Eddie wouldn't want you to be sad. He wouldn't want you to spend his favorite holiday crying into a pillow or blacked out on my couch. He'd want you to move on.

But Eddie's been dead for six months. So who gives a fuck what he would want.

You pull the cup to your lips, drink and drink and drink, letting the sweet sting burn any chance of tears from your eyes.

Steve only put this party together for your benefit. It was a nice gesture—going through the list of couple's costumes you and Eddie made together before, mashing the playlist of songs Eddie loved with ones people would actually want to dance to.

But you wish he hadn't. You wish he had let you wallow.

The empty cup crushes against Steve's waiting hand. You sway a little closer so he can hear you over the music.

"I'm gonna go dance."

There's a splash of guitar from the speakers, and you know it's one of your songs from the confused looks of everybody on the dance floor. Whatever. They get over it, swept up in the beat.

You let it take you, too, swinging around wildly, flailing with no concern how you look or who's watching. There was nobody around you wanted to impress anymore.

Eddie wouldn't care what you looked like anyway. He was a shit dancer.

Fuck.

The room is spinning. You're trying to keep with the beat, but there's the same lyrics, echoing over and over and over in your head.

dead man dead man dead man deadmandeadmandeadman. dead.

You're going to fucking puke.

Fighting through the crowd is like wading through a pool of bricks, which would still fucking suck if you were sober, and you are not. Catching on thrown back hands and angel wings, you stumble into the bathroom, just bending over in time to avoid vomiting a red stain down the front of your dress.

Your head has it's own heartbeat, pounding behind your eyes. You dip your cheek down to meet the cool porcelain.

There's no avoiding it. Hot tears spill over your face, plopping like raindrops into the basin. Fucking rock bottom, crying over your dead boyfriend on filthy toilet seat.

There's the sound of the door shutting and latching, just audible over your sobs. You lift your head, so dizzy and sad and hopeless it makes you angry.

"God," you're yelling, loud enough for it to echo off the tiles, "can't you see there's somebody fucking—"

He looks just like you remember him. And not in a good way.

The room already smells like sulfur, the way everything did down there—like sulfur and mold and fucking death. Eddie brought it with him. He brought it all. The holes in his hellfire shirt, scars peaking out of his collar, the mud and shit and blood staining his clothes.

He's got dark blue bags under his eyes, like bruises, cheeks sallow. Looking almost as tired as you feel. But he smiles, just the way he used to.

"Wow, sweetheart," —Eddie's voice is deep and gravelly as he kicks a boot up against the door, nodding back in the direction of the party— "this all for me?"

"Eddie."

That comes out as a sob, too.

He crosses the room in a few strides, a big hand at soft at your back, petting strands of hair off your sweaty forehead.

"Hey princess," he tries to smile, "long time no see."

Jesus. Your head's still spinning. You might puke again. It doesn't help that Eddie keeps going in and out of focus, like maybe you're dreaming this all up, the way his skin feels and the smell of him and the cute little curls in front of his ears.

"You were dead."

He huffs at you. "I think, technically, sweetheart, I still am."

He pulls one of your hands toward his chest, and there's nothing beneath it. No heartbeat. Just Eddie.

He doesn't expect it, the way you launch yourself at him, pulling him to floor. Eddie laughs, wraps his arms around you, his shaking lungs and the feel of his hands full of disbelief.

"I missed you."

You can tell he's missed you, too. He nods into your neck, hot breath on your skin.

"Why didn't you come back before?"

"Halloween seemed like a good time," he whispers, looking you in the eye, "wouldn't want to scare the neighbors."

His lips press tighter together. There's something he's not telling you. If you weren't so fucking high, you'd try to figure it out.

But you are fucking high—high out of your mind—and there's only one thing you want to do right now.

Eddie doesn't taste like death. He tastes like he used to, in the back of his van, in his bed or on the couch, his hands on you and his wandering lips, just bodies and kisses and nothing in between.

"Fuck, baby," he grunts, nipping at your ear, "you gotta be careful with me."

You shake your head. There's enough blood in him for the skin at his neck to turn a shade darker when you bite at it.

Eddie's hips shift against yours. He's breathing harder, although you're not sure where it goes, or what his lungs do with it once it's there.

"Can I- can I taste you, baby?"

"Mhmm."

It feels so good to be caught up in his arms again, you don't even notice the sting when his lips seal around your neck, the way his throat pulses with swallow after swallow. The groan he lets out is pained when he finally rips himself off of you.

Eddie cups your cheeks in both hands, thumbs petting at the left-over tears.

"Awww, baby. I don't think I should have done that."

You hardly hear him. Everything is fuzzy. You let your eyes fall closed, and the soft brush at your hairline could be his lips, or something you made up.

And then he's gone.

Steve's beside you when you lift your head again.

"Jesus, what the fuck happened to you? Robin found you on the floor and thought you were dead."

He's wiping at your neck with a cloth, or paper towel or something, and it hurts.

What did happen to you?

"I- I think I fell."

Steve hums, disapproving, cleaning the dripping blood from your neck, smoothing a bandage over the skin.

When you pull it off the next morning, all that's left of Eddie—or your vision of him—are two perfect little puncture wounds, and a few bruises in the shape of teeth.

[byjillianmaria]

dead darlings tag

Tagged by @sarandipitywrites!! check out their dead darling here.

Tagging @stories-by-rie @cwritesfiction @lady-redshield-writes @lullabyes22-blog @roselinbooks-official @incandescent-creativity aaaaand whoever else wants to do this!

There's Magic Between Us went through a LOT of changes before it got published. Eden grew a whole different backstory, a subplot about a missing uncle got axed, a subplot about a magic treasure got added, and Lydia's knowledge of Fae Nonsense was severely more limited!

As such, a lot got left on the cutting room floor. I'm not too precious about any of it, but I was always a little sad to lose this scene where Lydia plays guitar for Eden. It doesn't really make sense to have in the final draft — Eden became the kind of character who wouldn't have time for this distraction, and Lydia became the kind of character who wouldn't have the patience to learn a whole song, anyway — but it was such a fun little romance trope to have while it lasted.

I also included some developer's notes, for funsies.

“What’s that on your back?” she asks. “Oh!” I run my free hand along the strap across my waist. (Note from present-day Jillian: I think this was meant to say shoulder or chest? That's a first draft for you.) “That’s my guitar. I just brought it for fun.” “Do you play?” “A little! I can show you when we sit down.” Sure, I only know the basics. But I know a few songs—enough to woo people who want to be wooed, I’m pretty sure. Or at least fill a few quiet moments between friends. I could be down for either, depending on how this plays out. “That would be nice.” Eden points ahead of her. The trees widen out into a clearing with a large pond. A few willow trees dot the shore, long branches reaching down. It’s one of those that she points to. “Under that tree is one of my favorite spots to sit. I bet it would make a good picnic.” “Dude, totally.” It looks like something out of a postcard. In the shade of the willow branches, the warm summer air cools just a little. It’s a comfortable place to lay out the picnic blanket. “You’re right, there is a lot of cool stuff here.” Eden smiles, smoothing the burgundy skirt of her button-down dress over her legs as she sits. “I’m glad you think so.” “Yeah! Thanks for showing it to me. If you’re ever in Chicago, I’ll be sure to return the favor.” Eden looks down at her lap, hair falling over her forehead. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I’m not sure if it’s bashfulness that changes the air between us or something else, but suddenly the silence sits heavier and less comfortable. I rush to correct it. “I’ve got lots of sandwich making stuff in here, and candy and things. You can pick what you want.” I swing the guitar around into my lap. “Lunch and a show!” This makes Eden smile again, which makes me happy. “Aren’t you going to eat?” I flap a hand at her. “I can eat in a second. I promised music!” “I guess you did,” Eden says, a laugh clinging to the edge of her voice. And so I play for her, while she rummages through the basket and puts together a sandwich. I’m not a great guitarist or a great singer, either, but I can carry a tune well enough that it isn’t unpleasant to listen to. Besides, the trick to doing anything is to do it with confidence. I play one of my favorite songs to perform, a love song by a straight guy. (Note from present day Jillian: what is she playing? I have no idea. I have a playlist of music she likes, but there's few men and even fewer acoustic songs.) I very purposefully don’t change the pronouns when it comes to talking about the girl he fell for. Look, between the pansexual pride bracelet on my wrist and the constant flirting, no one’s ever accused me of being subtle. Eden doesn’t react to the pronoun use, either positively or negatively. Which doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I just know that I get a little excited whenever someone does something gay, even if I’m not interested in them. It’s like finding someone wearing a shirt for a band you like, or something. A moment of connection and understanding, however brief. I won’t be shattered if Eden doesn’t like girls, of course. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to know.

[heartpascal]

helloo :DD i am here to check up on you and not release depressing ideas this time (yet) i will be sharing a bunch of songs that remind me of "if the door wasn't shut" series <3 but anyway, how are you?? i hope you're doing well <33

it's literally almost 3 am and i'm doing my research paper right now that is due on monday 😔 other than that i also have other stuff to do that is on monday so that's that (´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ)

don't forget to take care of yourself and get that daily intake of water 😌🤎

• leaves - ben&ben

• ride home - ben&ben

• end credits - eden, leah kelly

• just a man - jorge rivera-herrans, epic ensemble

• flicker - niall horan

• falling - harry styles

(this could pertain to the series itself or the "bonus" idea part, up to you to interpret it😉)

(feels like my signing has become suggesting songs and pedro pascal gifs 😭😭)

(din djarin this time because he's the loml <3)

HOWL!!! hello!!! apologies for the late response!! i have been cramming in my homework which is also due for monday 😭 what a pair we are. but i also had a nice day !!! went to the zoo which was fun !!! how are you doing??? how have the research paper / other upcoming things been going???? also what’s the research paper on :0 ???

also howl pls get some sleep omg

I LOVE YOUR SONG RECS SM!!! i hope you know i have a playlist exclusively for howl song recs :’) and your pedro gifts r so lovely HAHAH its become your signature thing on my blog i think LMFAOOO i love when other people give song recs and start by mentioning you i think it’s so cute

anyway tlou part 2 scenario mention below so just to be safe xoxo

leaves ??? THIS WAS A NEW ONE TO ME!!!! but “oh you never really love someone until you learn to forgive” HOWL THE ABSOLUTE CHEEK OF IT!!!! it will always astound me how you have so many songs that fit so well. THE GOOD RECS ARE NEVERENDING LIKE HOW????

anf ride home too??? “we just gotta let it go / so im coming home to you” HELLO???? i have no words for this i genuinely don’t understand HOW you do this every damn time

end credits ?? this is also a new one for me but im in LURV. i really like it. im gonna cry. and these songs rlly could relate to either that pt 2 scenario or the series itself like “but this is how it goes / the end credits, they roll” u can’t tell me that doesn’t immediately make u think of tje tlou 2 scenario. right. ??? im not losing it.BUT THEN YOUVE GOT “all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty” and adn “cause all i need is time and now / and i could leave this past behind me” SCREAMINGGGGGGG. i also just really like this song in itself so thank u for these wonderful suggestions

just a man , initial thoughts r joel coded. im writing this as i listen so you’re getting my live reactions. it could also be like. tommy and maria coded but we know i lvoe joel. “will these actions haunt my days / every man i’ve slain? / is the price i pay endless pain?” HELLO. this is so tlou 2 scenario 4 joel idc. “WHEN DOES A MAN BECOME A MONSTERRRRR?” howl you knew what you were doing with this one. don’t think i don’t see you. HM and upon my second listen “close your eyes and spare yourself the view / how could i hurt you?” im basically quoting the whole song atp BUT IDC ITS TOO PERFECT.

i heart niall horan ok but i don’t listen to much of him (im sorry OK IM SORRY!!!) but i……… again live reactions. “still a flicker of hope that you first gave to me / that i wanna keep / please don’t leave / please don’t leave” I AM SEEING YOU HOWL I AM PERCEIVING YOU. this is again tlou 2 scenario coded AND IM SAD. Y ARE YOU MAIKING ME SAD!!!

falling .. this one i know. i too had a harry styles phase ok. (again sorry to niall horan). you didn t ask for this but be prepared for unnecessary relating it to parts of the series. “forget what i said / its not what i meant” joel when he said me and ellie not you. you see where im going ?!?! “what if im someone you wont talk about? / i’m falling again” joel when he knows how much he f ed up. r hates him. SHE HATES. “and the coffee’s out” joel when that bag of coffee beans runs out and he has none left. heheheh. “what am i now? / what if im someone i don’t want around?” joel. joel at all points ever. joel when he sees r again after the first part. joel when ellie finds out you know what. joel when he. “and i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again” lets not go into a deep dive about the character of joel and how he has ALWAYS had somebody relying on him, somebody needing him. but i would. i want to. i must calm.

again you didnt ask for this but i love song recs and going into way too much detail about how well they fit even when i am not asked to. alas.

HOWL I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL <333

[bonesandthebees]

Anyways idk how long it'll be so I am putting these in multiple asks so it's not too overwhelming (hopefully idk) so you get to deal with me in my Sleep Deprived Insomniac Mode™

Completely jumping to a different topic than glass: honey and tangerines bc I have not appreciated this fic enough

Something about me is that coming of age stories are my favorite and they just do smth to me and I can't explain it idk

But everytime the song bittersweet symphony comes on I think of this fic and it makes me happy and I enjoy it, it also happens when I hear the song come on Eileen and this fic was actually what got me to listen to this song for the first time and now it is in many of my favorite Spotify playlists bc it is just happy and upbeat and sometimes I need a break from my angsty and sad playlists and this song just makes me happy so I quite enjoy this song

Also I went to the farmers market the other day and the whole time I was thinking of the scene in honey and tangerines where Tommy helps set up Niki's flower stand (I think that that is what it was) and then he sits down at at table or smth and tubbo comes up (and ranboo and aimsey I'm pretty sure) and tubbo had these honey sticks and there was this stall at the farmers market I went to had honey sticks and sadly I didn't get any but anyways I thought of honey and tangerines the whole time and there was this attractive French man who baked pastries and I rlly wanted to buy some from him but sadly I could not and i was sad afterwards bc I could not buy these tasty french pastries from the attractive French man but I'm pretty sure he had a girlfriend so I don't think I would've had a shot especially if he was straight but mans was giving fruity vibes so idk maybe he was bi or pan which is ideal for me bc I'm genderfluid and I don't think I could date a straight person bc of that lol but anyways as I was leaving the farmers market I saw this guy on a skateboard and I already had honey and tangerines on the brain so naturally I thought of the scene where theyre teaching tommy to skateboard and everytime I see skateboards (and I mean everytime) I think of this scene and every time I want to learn how to skateboard but I don't have the time for that so :(

But I love honey and tangerines and it will always have a special place in my heart and I think that everytime I see a skateboard or a laundromat or a farmers market or the specific art style where there are things in place of the head I will think of honey and tangerines and I love it I love it I love it and thank you so so much for writing it bc it is one of my favorite peices of words ever so thank you

(I am not responsible for lack of punctuation it is 3 am and I've been up for 15 hrs so give me a break)

-🌼

man that makes me so happy that you think of honey and tangerines every time you hear bittersweet symphony and come on eileen both of those songs mean so much to me and knowing you associate them with my silly story makes me smile

oh yeah I love getting honey sticks from the farmers market. the farmers market in honey and tangerines was very heavily based off the farmers market I go to nearly every saturday and there's always honey sticks and french pastries and fruit and flowers and just so much stuff it's really lovely

if you ever get the chance to learn to skateboard you should try it! I mean I don't know how to skateboard nor have I ever really wanted to try but it seems fun. back when i was in middle school/high school these things called penny boards were really popular. so many kids on my street learned how to ride them and would just ride around all the time and I never tried but I thought it looked very fun so I was definitely imagining those when I wrote that scene

it means so much to hear how many things you associate with that fic that makes me so happy :D

[teecupangel]

One of the readers of Zero Eclipse created a Spotify Playlist for the fic and I'm

I love knowing my fics were so memorable that people take the time to make stuff for it.

Then they asked if I have any songs to suggest and...

Well.

I normally listen to the AC soundtrack when I write AC fics with the exception of smut (that's purely jazz versions of Xenoblade songs and I don't know why).

Then I remembered how much of a weeb I am and that, yes, there are songs I can think of on the top of my head that would work for Zero Eclipse.

So if you want to see my suggestions for songs that inspired or I think works well for Zero Eclipse, check underneath

(Warning it's mainly music from my 2 favorite JRPG series XD)

BEFORE I START WITH THIS LONG POST!

Shoutout to chemicalhypebitch in AO3 for suggesting these songs because they work so well too

I still believe I still firmly believe We can still meet We will connect no matter what

I, I loved you in secret First sight, yeah, we love without reason Oh, twenty-five years old Oh, how were you to know, and My, my love had been frozen Deep blue, but you painted me golden Oh, and you held me close Oh, how was I to know that

ALRIGHT. Long post time!

Let's start with the actual reason for the title of the fic

ZERO ECLIPSE - Hiroyuki Sawano

Yeah, that's right. Zero Eclipse's title was based on an Attack on Titan song from the very beginning. I'm not gonna talk about AOT though because, well, I have a complicated history with that manga/anime. But I am in love with Hiroyuki Sawano's music and, while the primary plotline of the fic was created before I realized how well Zero Eclipse worked, there are other parts of the fic that were inspired by the song itself.

Anyway, the song encapsulates Altaïr's feelings for Desmond (both Bleed Altaïr and Original Altaïr) and I have to give special mentions to the following lyrics

For now you are a part of me I will defend and honor thee Did you think that you could die a hero? Our awakening means less than zero! ------- Sad am I to never hear you sigh Of ecstasy And fingertips You're trembling We share a kiss Our worlds eclipse ------- Make a promise that I cannot regret As long as I can see you but in secret I'll never I'll never forget my feeling, no! I'll never I'll never Learn how to let you go

That's just the main three but the rest of the song fits well I think.

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Next is a song I believe works well as Desmond's feelings for Altaïr (especially after Chapter 43)

Follow You - Bring Me The Horizon

(sidenote: this also works well with Desmond from fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum hahaha) Anyway, this song shows how much Desmond is willing to go through just to be with Altaïr and it also works well with the whole 'If they are gods then I will be the devil' drama queen shtick Altaïr went for. Special mention has to be given to these lines

So you can drag me through hell If it meant I could hold your hand I will follow you 'cause I'm under your spell And you can throw me to the flames I will follow you, I will follow you

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Next is an instrumental actually and is the unofficial theme of the 'AQ'AQ program and Original Altaïr.

The Bereaved and Those Left Behind (Version 2) - Yasunori Mitsuda (Xenoblade Chronicles 3)

There's a Version 1 but I think Version 2 works better as both the theme of the 'AQ'AQ program and Original Altaïr. Both versions deal with pain and loss with a hint of hope towards the end (like the start of hope at around 2:20 to 2:54 but ending in an almost question-like tone which signifies the uncertain future) which I think encapsulates what the 'AQ'AQ program truly represented and how the original timeline and the original Altaïr had been. For an extra punch, this works well as a bgm for the final scene in the Grand Temple while the questioning tone at around the 2:55 mark works well with the error message of Chapter 41.

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Next is a song that I think works well as the modern day Levantine Brotherhood's theme (most especially Clay and Lucy)

Melancholia - Hiroyuki Sawano

For Lucy to Altaïr and Desmond

You cheer me, reminds me There is a sun rise You told me to save me from a hell on earth

For Clay

They try to wear me down with what they tell me I'm just trying to make moves, see beyond what they're trying to sell Push for it, even if some attempts fail Take problems mix 'em up like a cocktail It's not the cards that life deals Anyone can alter their situations by Not sitting around, accepting the Abuse and devastation

The entire modern day Levantine Brotherhood

We're kept unheard if we're silent Waiting on others to make a sound Leads to walking blind instead of self-reliance Eyes on the back of the pack It's time to make the day yours Complacency never makes an impact Believe media controls you if you don't act Nothing ventured, nothing gained But when we speak, listen, and act That's what we change

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BONUS: William Miles' Theme (No, I am not sorry)

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Alright, the next 2 songs are in Japanese and can be considered spoilers for Chapter 41. The last song is in English BUT it is an absolute spoiler for Chapter 43. You've been warned.

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Next is a song that works well as Bleed Altaïr's feelings for Desmond

Ai no Uta - Falcom sound team (Trails of Cold Steel 4 Ending Song - This is also available in Spotify but I embedded a video with the English lyrics added)

Special mentions to the following lyrics

Your loud playful smile Fills me with so much satisfaction Staring at your honest eyes, they're so bright I have to close mine and hug you tightly Even if I'm pierced by a thousand flashing arrows I promise I'll be your shield ------- The tears covering your face when you cry Make my chest feel tight, it's painful To make your pain and sorrow go away I'll hug you tightly until you fall asleep Even if the whole world turns against you I'll never let go of your hand ------- I just love you; I just love you I'll tell you again and again, I love you I just love you; our heartbeats are in sync And my feelings for you are overflowing I love you; I just love you I'll tell you again and again, I love you I don't know if it was fate That we met and we formed bonds We'll draw a new trail for the two of us I love you ------- There are good times and bad times Let's walk through life together There are good times and bad times Let's walk through life together

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Next is a song that I think works well to summarize Desmond's feelings for Ezio, Ratonhnhaké:ton and the rest of the Brotherhood at the end of Chapter 41

I'll Remember You - Megumi Sasaka / Falcom sound team (Trails of Cold Steel 2 Ending Song - This is also available in Spotify but I embedded a video with the English lyrics added)

Special mentions to the following lyrics

The time for parting has come Our Boundless Futures Await In case we never meet again I make this promise here and now: I'll remember you… ------- In awe of the bond we two shared We spoke of our histories and our most heartfelt desires Mysteries unpacked and mysteries forged Between those who'd previously never even known the other existed. ------- Love is a wordless understanding Two heartbeats resounding together as one Yet the time for parting has come Wavering tears in your eyes… In case we never meet again I'll burn your image into my mind and I'll remember you ------- Trust is a wordless understanding: Two heartbeats resounding together in solidarity Yet the time for parting has come You fade in the distance In case we never meet again, I'll burn your image into my mind and I'll remember you… ------- Let us always remember our first shy smiles And the future beat we heard the day we met The time for parting has come We must go our separate ways In case we never meet again We must keep moving forward The time for paring has come Our boundless futures await In case we never meet again I make this promise here and now I'll never forget that The trails we drew are our true selves You'll remember too

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Alright, the final song is a major spoiler for Chapter 43. This is your final warning to read Chapter 43 first before checking out the final song

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This one is a song that I think fits Original Desmond (Vega Prime/The Reader).

One Last You - Jen Bird / Yasunori Mitsuda (Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Ending Song)

Alright, let's dive in to this one because I have feelings and I am making it your feelings as well

Original Desmond as the Reader all alone in the Gray and hearing Altaïr

Very end of eternity The final day has come to an end, it's gone for good I would then slowly close my eyes And be cuddled by the shining memory piece ------- I will trace back all the memories with you That's the only wish I have

Original Desmond's feelings for the past years he spent with his Altaïr and how reuniting him with Desmond Miles is his 'handful'.

You have gifted many things to me But I wonder if I could've done the same for you If you would let me, I will give back a handful If it would put a little smile on your face

The goodbye scene between Original Desmond and Original Altaïr before Original Altaïr became the program and Original Desmond returns to the Gray

The final grain of sand has dropped I will slowly so quietly fall into sleep I see you gently fade away Your silhouette has gone to the other side of the mist And all the memories with no sound so quiet Just like in slow motion it moves so slowly

Original Desmond to Minerva about the creation of VegaEye and his decision to give up everything to Desmond Miles

Can I ask you, God? Despite all of this… Could the sandglass somehow take back the time One last time is all I ask from you Can you please spare me some time with the one man I loved? ------- I wouldn't care how and where it should be But I need one last time I want to tell you how I feel inside for you I want you to know…

The final scene between Original Desmond and Original Altaïr as the timeline gets rewritten

And so that last day with you was truly magical The frozen time began to flow At last the longest night has gone and brought in light I felt myself melt in the morning light

Excuse me while I go cry again XD

[anyways-wonderwall]

Eurovision Special!

It's my favorite time of year, Eurovision time! Every year I make a post talking about my five favorite songs from the year and generally talk about what I thought of the whole competition.

Uhh here's the thing though, this year SUCKED. Like I have been following Eurovision for six years and there has never been a more mid year in my experience. There were literally only 5 songs I liked, which while it made writing this really easy, is terrible given I usually playlist around 10 songs each year. I don't know what was happening but the countries dropped the ball on picking entries and the jury decided that only boring songs were allowed to do well. I cannot express how disappointed I was this year. (I just realized in my last post I wrote "Eurovision is getting too good, and what comes up must come down sometime" and unfortunately I was right)

Anyways, if you haven't read my last two Eurovision posts (which you can find here and here) I give each song a score from 1-10 in four categories: singer, song, catchiness, and performance. While technically a perfect score is a 40, there are available bonus points based on whether it isn't in English, it makes me laugh really hard, embodies Eurovision, etc. Each song also gets a fun little note so I can remember what it sounded like. Listen it's really hard to keep track of 37 songs.

Without further ado, here are the only good songs in Eurovision 2023:

5. Lithuania - Stay by Monika Linkytė

Score: 28/40

Notes: chutoh aahh tootoh

Final Ranking: 11th

I was really on the fence about including this one since it didn't really grab me at first, and in all honesty its not that great or unique and I kind of wrote it off as your standard Eurovision song.

But then as the days went on, I found the chorus - ‘Čiūto Tūto’ haunting me. I have never had more fun than dancing along with the chorus and there has not been a day I haven't sung this song. I'm re-listening to it now and honestly, I'm fine never listening to it again, but it has changed my life.

4. Austria - Who the Hell is Edgar? by Teya & Salena

Score: 30/40

Notes: Poe Poe Poe Poe Poe

Final Ranking: 15th

Now this is why I listen to Eurovision. I come here for camp nonsense and this year Austria delivered. A feminist song about being possessed by Edgar Allan Poe?? Perfection. The song itself is really catchy, the singers are incredibly fun and charismatic, and the music video is just such a great time. I am really sad this song didn't place higher, especially since a lot of people were praising it. You deserved more girls!

(although edgar allan poe was actually very pro-slavery so they should be canceled /j)

3. Malta - Dance (Our Own Party) by The Busker

Score: 30/40

Notes: Perfect sax part

Final Ranking: didn't make it to the grand finale >:(

As the comment suggests, the strength of this song is the killer sax riffs (riffs multiple!! they just kept delivering!). The song as a whole is a super fun time, with a fun message and a goofy music video, once again things that I look for when I listen to Eurovision songs. Plus they're from Malta! A micronation represented by people actually from there! I feel like that alone deserves bonus points (I mean Malta only has half a million people, less than Wyoming).

2. Portugal - Ai Coração by Mimicat

Score: 38/40

Notes: Cabaret flamenco

Final Ranking: 23rd

This song reminds me a lot of Fanfare Ciocarlia in the best way. Its quick, full of brass, and makes me want to dance. It's also all in Portuguese and the live performance was absolutely mesmerizing. I don't know exactly what this genre is called, but I'm such a fan. Give me fast-paced music and some brass and I'm in love.

Finland - Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

Score: 39/40

Notes: Why did the bridge keep going

Final Ranking: 2nd

C'mon, did you really think that I would put any other song at number one? This song hooks you from the beginning, has an aggressively European synth riff, nonsense Finnish lyrics, an inexplicable heavy metal chorus, this song is absolutely wonderful and one of the best to come from Eurovision. This song clearly stands out from all the others, and is the only one that I know of that made its way into international Tiktok. I mean if my roommate knows a Eurovision song without my involvement that means that it has some cultural power.

Unfortunately, I don't think this song is perfect. The bridge kind of ruins the momentum of the song by steering it into generic pop and for some reason they keep that overtone for the rest of the song. They were so close to committing to the bit, then they weirdly tried to make it sound normal. That aside, this is clearly the best song of this year and I am convinced that they rigged it.

I think the only songs I actually liked enough to keep listening to in my daily life are the last two, which is pretty bad for a Eurovision year. I just hope they do something good next year in stupid Sweden.

(and my least favorites this year were Georgia and Greece, really bringing down the letter "G." Luckily Germany brought a great song to make up for those two.)

[peachcitt]

hey 💕 just wanted to say that I'll finally convinced one of my mutuals to read metamorphosis and i'm so excited to see them experience it.

And it just reminded me how in a way metamorphosis will always mark such a period in my life and like idk it feels special that it pinpoints such a time in my life when a lot was going on and I'll always remember those changes and new experiences because it was framed around the time of metamorphosis.

It's honestly one of my favourite fics ever and just reminds me why I love fanfic so much. Like metamorphosis for me is the epitome of what I want in fanfic; if someone asked me "okay but why do you read fanfic I don't get it" I'd point them to metamorphosis. THIS is why people read fanfic, this is how amazing fics can be this level of quality is why people are obsessed. It just feels like a masterpiece to me it makes me feel so much and just gives me everything I could ever want. Too tired to properly explain it but yeah I just think metamorphosis is the perfect example for writing that will make you feel so much and destroy you and make you squeal and scream at the characters and want to shake their shoulders but also hold them softly in your arms and tell them that they are enough to not be so hard on themselves. @anna-scribbles gets adrien on such a personal/deep level and from reading this it's so clear how perfectly you write him as well. Your Adrien is so human and real and complex and in character; I read metamorphosis and I feel like I'm in his head that you have managed to captured his existence effortlessly. Idk I'm just obsessed with your writing of adrien in metamorphosis as I think many others are and I think you're one of my favourite writers of adrien ever in fics.

I'm also obsessed with all the other fics I've read of yours (unfortunately have not read them all cos you've written so many omg like a crazy number it's insane how have you managed to write so many and each so wonderful I'm sure??!) the ladrien fic this summer that was such fun to read; also chrysalis broke me and was also just so true; the fic about the whole plan for Mari's first real kiss they're so silly and I adore them so much and the one where they're drunk and do the quiz to see if they fall in love at the end I love your humourous fics so much and they are both so dear to my heart and now I want to go reread them right this second and there's also so many more I could mention but then I'd be here for days.

Also your playlist for metamorphosis I love it so much I should go listen to it again I found so many songs I really loved that I mightn't have otherwise you have such good time one that stands out to me is music by Armors/Olen (did they change their name or something what's the story there) listened to DOA cos I liked their music so much and it's a new fave

Anyways wishing you all the best and yeah just so glad you've been so kind to share your brilliant work with us. Thanks for bringing so much joy into my life and enjoyment to all of us during metamorphosis summer 💕

thank you!!!!! i think metamorphosis also came at such a transitional period for me, and so it’s nice to think that my fic that’s all about moving on and moving forward was able to convey that sentiment to others.

and also yeah. according to anna i get adrien adrien agreste “to such a degree.” he’s my weird little boy

and thank you!! i put a lot of work and thought into my fics (even the silly ones) and so i love hearing when people love them

also im so glad i was able to help you find new music especially (!!!) olen/armors. (and yes there is a story behind the name change basically olen is the lead singer and his other bandmates gradually left the band and this summer olen finally decided to make the change and use his own name. i support him fully although it does make me sad. he’s working on new music)

thank you so much for all your kind words and thoughts and im honestly so thankful to have people like you reading my fics<3

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genre-phobic - 1/6/2024

Hey Whores, This is my first official attempt at being a music critic???? Is that what I'm doing IDK. Pretty much I'm listening to a bunch of music and we just gonna vibe as I talk about what I like and what I don't and thats what I do with my life apparently. Its almost like I enjoy writing or some shit. anyway lets find a fun gif to make this an eyecatcher.

That's All (1959) - Bobby Darin

Genre: Traditional Pop, Vocal Jazz Length: 35:17 (12 Tracks)

As mentioned previous many of these albums were added based on a single song that I like from the creator. In this case this was most likely added for the A-side 2 Beyond The Sea. You know the one.

Considering that I thought this song was song by Dean Martin it goes to show I don't have a firm grasp on a lot of 1950s music and also this kind of crooning jazz style. I don't dislike it by any means but its also not something that sticks with me.

Trad Pop is a beautiful Over-Medium Egg and I am but a well oiled Teflon Pan.

3/5

Nevermind (1991) - Nirvana

Genre: Grunge, Alt Rock Length: 42:36 (12 Tracks)

Its kinda weird that I've never listened to this album all the way through. Growing up as a early zoomer my musical taste was, just like the musicians I grew up with, heavily influenced by the Alt Rock of the 90s.

I didn't grew up listening to Nirvana but as I have gotten older I realize how much certain bands have always permeated the culteral membrane. An osmosis of influence if you will.

Some songs are instantly recognizable 'Smells like Teen Spirit', 'Come as You Are', 'Lithium', and as I put this playlist on in the background listening to this album is almost vulgar. When I first heard these songs there were like a evocation. A mystical litany in a foreign script learning the grooves and connatations of there sound. It was mysteicism learning a small portion of a greater whole. and listening to the full album I almost shy away from it. Feeling unable to process the level of depth I have felt from these other songs.

That becomes the issue of music. Is that some music is too specific, too culteral, for you to have a rational mind over. Nirvana to me feels like home in the same way Jennifers Body does. Its a Core Memory that I had forgettin. A past life I have barely known.

To stop being esoteric there is something incredible about this music. Cobrain has such a distinctive voice, as if he is screaming and droning on at the same time, Checked out and locked in. The lyrics are sardonic and evocative, full of word-play and poesis. The Music almost feels subdued for something that is literally hard rock.

It like screaming underwater, its like the pleasure of moaning over a toothache, Its the savage beast making music. There is so much sadness and anger and self-rightousness that you want to scream the lyrics in your car because its the pain and pleasure of a loose tooth, of poking a bruise, of smashing a window. It is letting go and moving through.

And I just fucking love it. Big feels.

5/5

The Writing on the Stall (Original Soundtrack) (2022) - Caitlin Cook

Genre: Novelty, Comedy, (honestly low-key nerd folk) Length: 26:22 (7 Tracks)

Listened to on a whim and what a lovely time.

Based on varous Bathroom Graffiti, Caitlin Cook manages to make something equal parts funny, sincere, and surprisingly poignant. Do you like Bo Burnam cause that got that energy.

If anything it reminds me a lot of the comedy videos of the early 2000s, the type of silly songs that I watched as a child. Like the kinda problamatic People of Walmart.

This really pleasant to listen to it reminded me of a lot of the novelty music that I would listen to with my mom and also "Thank god for Sluts" is going on permanant rotation.

4/5

Fine Line (2019) - Harry Styles

Genre: Pop Rock Length: 46:37 (12 Tracks)

Technically Recommended by a friend from work, me listening to this album is a long time coming.

Fine Line, is the second studio album by Harry Styles and if wikipedia is to be believed tends to have quite a bit of genre blending in it.

I don't have a lot to say about it, Styles has a fantastic voice and his energy and styling in this era is pushing more torwards an androgynous rock star image very much in the vein of Bowie and similar. Which I actually kind of like. Styles has been purposely vague on whether or not he wants to fuck dudes which is fine. And also dare I say it I think that its healthy for us as a society not to gatekeep GNC as exclusively queer. That if a straight cis gendered man wants to put on a dress well baby thats praxis. But also like do you want to make out??????? 🥺👉👈 just asking.

The music itself has this kind of almost folksy pop to it. Gentle, meloncholic, also kinda horny. Its kinda a horny album still into it through. Ultimately this experiment goes to show that I need to work on how to describe albums. es muy difficil.

5/5

A Mi Me Gusta (1993) - Los Del Rio

Genre: Latin Pop, Flamenco? (more on that later) Length: 50:45 (12 Tracks)

Because I spent to much time figuring this out the english translation is 'I Like It (1993) - Those From the River. so do with that what you will.

Los Del Rio if you don't know are the one that made the song 'Macarena' you know the one.

(I'm trying to avoid using gifs stylisticly for these blogs but one for fun shouldn't hurt. we'll see how this evolves going forward)

and talk about a One-Hit Wonder. Its the only song that pops up when you search 'Los del Rio songs'. The album is listed as there first album on the wikipedia page for A mi me gusta despite the fact that they have at least 13 other albums before that (possible 20 i'm not going to spend 2 hours delving into there discography to figure that out). and I find this the most telling is that they include three seperate version of the song on the album. It both there opener and closer and you know what it absolutely slaps so I don't blame them.

They also are listed for this album as Latin Pop and Flamenco? I was a pretty big fan of Ricky Martin and Enrique Inglesias growing up, (hi I like fucking men alot) and I'm sorry but this is definetly pop music. This is folk or traditional. Los Del Rio almost exclusively seems to make traditional latin dance music which isn't a problem I'm a big fan of ballroom dance I grew up listening to this kind of music. Baby you can light *my* fire.

Flamenco is also an interesting descriptor. Discogs tends to list there albums in the sub-genres of Flamenco and Rumba. Which seems accurate but if you played a song by them for me It wouldn't have been my first guess.

Tbf I am not an expert on the distinction between traditional spanish folk music because its complicated and the next time someone uses the phrase Dorian Mode my eyes will bleed and I really hate having to deal with bloodstains. Suffice to say this is a much more accessable type of latin dance music. Its very much easy listening, you could definetly dance to it. But its also the type of thing I could imagine your abuela playing while she makes dinner. lowkey vibes.

I realize that I have been incredible vague about wha this song sounds like so close your eyes. Imagine your sitting with your gran-tio and peeling the paper skin away from the tomatillos that he grew in his garden. your sitting on the cool concrete of the back porch and he plays some latin music from the radio as your fingers become sticky from the sappy flesh of those purple and green fruits. It smells like chopped wood and ants. As you finish your peeling Macarena begins playing. ¡Oye!

Thats what this album sounds like.

Another interesting point is that Los Del Rio is a Spanish Band and not a Mexican Band and thats really interesting to me. right? because as an American I really don't think about Spain.

Intellestial I understand that things like Latin Dance music are a product and history of Spain, that there are a culteral export its ahrd for me as a person to seperate this type of music and language from a hispanic or latino lense. Its interesting understanding that there are divergent cultures despite sharing language and other culteral facits. I assume much in the same way that being an american that speaks english I live a very different but somewhat famalier life from an australian or brit.

Deep thoughts to be had and I really need to explore international music more.

3/5

Through the Deep Dark Valley (2012) - The Oh Hellos

Genre: Folk Rock, Indie Folk Length: 39:14 (11 Tracks)

The Oh Hellos are a Brother-Sister Folk Duo and Through the Deep Dark Valley is as they say

"The Oh Hellos' first full-length album, "Through the Deep, Dark Valley," is a self-contained concept album, and so for best results should be listened to in its entirety, in chronological order, in one sitting."

I'm not going to get to deep into said concept. Just understand that its playing with the parable of the prodigal son. Oh I'm sorry are you not religious, (by which I mean speciically mean Christian). Well that sucks for you. There album after this is named after the Screwtape Letters and if you don't know what that is well clearly your a fake jesus fan. Just saying.

I tease but it is interesting to hear how the religious imagery effects the music. A few publications discuss how there is celtic influence in there folk music which is pretty easy to identify but it should also be mentioned that there is a clear gospel sound to the work. I sent the song 'I was Wrong' to my bestie and he was like bro why are you sending me gospel worship music at three o'clock in the moring.

I want to be clear that thats not a particuler problem for me. Gospel has always had a place in folk. Thats why Amazing Grace is listed as American Traditional and also I can't take upbridge at christian imagedry in work because I would also be taking pot shots at fucking lady gage. And thats mother.

This is a really nice sounding album and it really boils down to matters of taste. Do you like the Lumineers? Mumford and Sons? Of Mice and Monsters? yeah. You like that kind of layered acoustic instrumentals and round singing that intesifies torwards the end of the song. Due you like vaguely religious lyrics. Your'll love this its great.

3.5/5

Swipe Right For Vintage (2015) - Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox

Genre: Jazz (Its Complicated and will get into it) Length: 45:20 (12 Tracks)

Ok whores I need to explain what PMJ is right?

Postmodern Jukebox is a 'retro musical collective'. What does that mean. Basically the main guy Scott Bradlee, (not to be confused with the other arranger Scott Bradley from like the 30s), arranges popular songs of the modern age into retro styles. Typical Jazz, Swing, and Big Band, but he also has done songs in traditional pop, doo-wop, and even klezmer. The term jukebox is pretty clear here the vibe of the band is very much playing around with the idea of a modern pop standard. Taking beloved pop classics from the 80s-90s and contemporary and changing them into tsome twee hipster shit and I used to be really fuckign into this.

at the time in 2015 there was a small obsession with poking fun at pop music. Parody music was huge with the likes of Bart Baker and Key of Awesome regular spoofing popular music videos at the time and there was a lot of flop eras happening. Justin Bieber, Meghan Trainer, Maroon 5. There was a lot to work with. Maybe this was just me as an asshole teen but pop music kinda felt like shit so reinterpretations of popular pop songs hit the mark in one way or another.

The selection of the songs for this album, (which mind you was one of four that PMJ produced this year), is pretty solid. You have Hailey Reinhart giving us some of her most iconic performances from PMJ. We have some really incredible torch song covers as well as a personal favorite of Radioactive sung by Blake Lewis who I was definetly gay for in high school. He does a beat-boxing solo in the middle and it definetly shouldn't work but it absolutely does.

I was original going to give this album flaq for its opener. Bad Blood sung by the lovely Aubrey Logan but on further inspection it gets a pass.

Bad Blood is an increidble bold choice to open an album on. Its one of the poorest in Taylor Swifts catologue and was aggresively panned if memory served. Bad Blood is a meme song about how Taylor Swift got beef with Katy Perry. Its very much is not a well-loved pop song in the veins of Radioactive or Habits (Stay High).

Taylor Swift is also just not an artist whose style lends itself to a jazz style and yet this song manages to pull it off. Theres some very clever rhytym to it and Logan manages to rattle off the lyrics at a breakneck speed that sounds much more like scatting then it does rap which is insane. Thats just good arrangement right there and it makes the song much more captivating then I find the original to be. So good on it.

Its hard to rate this album highly. One its a cover album but also praising an album like this for me makes me feel like I'm acting like some kind of snob who needs pop music to be 'fixed' for a more refined and classy palate. But also I just really love a good jazz number and there is a famarity already with these songs. It is simpy put accesable.

3.5/5

Anyway Whores talk to you in about a week and We'll see how much music I listen to in that time.

[letterstomymothershewontread]

Lover,

Happy Valentines Day! I know I try to tell you everyday but today especially, I love you. You are the person I want to spend my life with and I am so lucky that you want to do the same. I'm going to be honest, most days I don't know what you see in me nor do I think I deserve someone as wonderful as you. If I could find a way to string every Valentines Day and anniversary Hallmark card together and it be cohesive, I would because like your dad always writes in your mothers cards, they say it all. I've never been one to know how to express my feelings with my own words, I always think I sound stupid so I use other ways to tell you. I like to give you massages, clean the house, help organize your kpop collection, buy you photocards. That's why I like to tag you in things on Facebook that express how much I love you. That way you and everyone knows how much I love you. If I could, I'd tell everyone on Earth I love you. I'd stop strangers in the street just to tell them how wonderful you are and how I would do anything you asked me.

There are so many songs that have little parts that just resonate with me and my soul. If I could just speak using lyrics I think that my love would make more sense when I tried to express it to you.

"I want to live with you, even when we're ghosts cause you were always there for me when I needed you the most." Those lyrics always make me think of you and when we were dating back in 2018 or 2019. I remember soaking in the bath with music playing, specifically one of my sad playlists. I suppose I added that song to it but I didn't remember doing it. Anyway, there I am laying in the bath, crying because I think we had been arguing. I was convinced you were going to break up with me and I felt like I could just die. The previous song finishes and 'Say You Wont Let Go' by James Arthur comes on. Maybe it's the way I like to romanticize my life sometimes, but you know how when you're watching a movie and the main character is sad and melancholic until the fact that they are madly and deeply in love with the other character. Then they have this entire dramatic moment where they go from depressed to motivated? I don't know if I expressed that in a way that it makes sense but it does to me. Anyway that was like the moment I had. There I was in the tub sad as fuck and then it hits me. I love you more than I've loved anyone before and I can't let you go nor, do I want you to let me go. It was in that moment I thought, I have to show you ever day that I love you more and more. With each passing day my love for you grows like how the Grinches heart grew three sizes on Christmas Day. That's how you make my hear feel.

"Life isn't pretty, we all get a little wrecked sometimes. If god's listening people think you're our of you mind. Even if you believe it, through all the hard times, I'm on your side." Every time I listen to 'On Your Side' by The Veronicas it just reminds me about all the heart ache we've been through together. All the friends we've mad and lost. The family deaths we've endured as well as all the sickness. You have never left my side, never even waivered. I hope you know that no matter what, I'm on your side. I've got your back no matter what. I will be your biggest fan when you're succeeding as well as your biggest support system when you're struggling. I refuse to not be there for you for anything. I want to be able to say I've loved you since day one when you win big. I wanna say I was there from the ground up. I'm on your side always just like I know you are mine.

"My baby's fly like a jet stream. High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new. ... I want to wear his initial on a chain around my neck. Not because he owns me but cause he really knows me. (Which is more than they can say)." "My reputation's never been worse so you must love me for me." Reputation. If I was to put an album to our relationship in 2018 that would be it. I know that I have a reputation that proceeds me and you either didn't know about it somehow or you simply didn't give a fuck about it. Whatever it was I'm glad that you love me regardless. You love me like I'm brand new. Like I've never had my heart broke. Like I've never been damaged and tossed to the side. Like I hadn't been through all I had. You took the time I get to know me and look past all my façades and walls. You looked at me without judgment and with love in your eyes. I know I can say with all of my heart you are the only person who truly knows me.

"Wherever you stray, I follow. I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man." No matter where you are or where you go, I want to and will be there. I want to accompany you on every adventure you plan. It doesn't matter what I imagine my future to be like because it changes constantly but, the only steady there is to it is you. No matter what my future, our future, holds I know you're there. Wherever you go, I'll go.

All of this is to say that music speaks the words I can only imagine to say. You are my entire world and if you left my world as I know it would shatter. I love you so much and I know that you'd never leave me. I trust you more than I've trusted anyone. I trust you not only with my heart but with my soul as well. You've been my rock more than ever the last two years and I would be lost without you. You're what I've been searching for my entire life, all I've ever wanted. I plan to cherish you like the last day of spring or the first day of autumn. That's exactly what you are to me. You're like the first warm sunny day of spring after four long months of cold, bitter, painful cold. You're like the first day of summer when the days are longer and happier. You're like the middle of September when we are finally starting to have cooler days. When all you need is a light jacket or a good cardigan. You're like the first playful snow fall of the season. The kind of snow that doesn't stick to the roads but covers the trees beautifully. The kind of snow you put on your winter coat to go and catch snowflakes on your tongue. You are the best of every season and you are the mystery of each change of season. You are as beautiful as the summer days are long. You are the most lovely person there ever was and I am glad and proud to call you mine.

Happy Valentines Day my love. I hope you feel extra loved today.

I love you.

[kylorens]

Solid Snake and Finn for the ask game?

hey. send me a character/ship and I'll tell you

On the og reblog I said I won't be able to write down cohesive words but I'll try bc I usually NEVER get asks on my ask game reblogs lol THANKS &lt;3

my general perception of them

Snake: OK so if you know me, you know what I'm going to say. This man HAS ME in his chokehold, okay? This man could throw me on the ground, stomp on me and I'd thank him. Somehow in such a short time he's become one of my favorite characters of all time. He's got the heart, the look and everything. I love the fact that he never stops trying. <3 Even though the world doesn't deserve this at all!!! I love him.

also I'm more of a moobs girl but i realized the importance of ass thanks to him. I also like thighs a lot so we will sexualize the old man.

Finn: FINN IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAV SW CHARACTERS and I just get SO MAD thinking how badly he was treated in the trilogy. I had such high hopes for him so it was so sad to watch it all fall apart. I still think if the EU ever starts to think about continuing on where TROS left, he still could be made into a Jedi knight. I WANT TO BELIEVE. (So far the only thing we have is the LEGO movies lmfao. Even they know that Finn should be training !!)

Anyway. I always thought that giving a redemption arc to a random stormtrooper was a great idea. Imagine if he became a full on Jedi ok not going back to that whole rant I absolutely love how big hearted he is and the way he got super courageous even in the first movie alone.

OKAY I CAN'T NOT SAY IT John Boyega is hot and I'm thankful for his hair transition in the later movies - especially in TROS he was HOT ASF.

@ lucasfilm I will fight you for what you've not done for Finn.

an unpopular opinion or, failing that, a fun fact

Snake: If this was an unpopular opinion about MG in general HO BOY WOULD I HAVE A MILLION. IDK what can be said about Snake that would be unpopular. I can't think of a fun fact either. ;_; so I'll widen the question (like i want snake to widen the gap between my legs ok ill see myself out) and say that I don't like how Snake was sidelined after MGS3 was hyped so hard and he became like a secondary character the BB and this is my villain origin story,

Finn: ok again. I don't think I have anything that would be unpopular opinion about Finn since I think we majorly agree that Finn was handled very badly. But I guess I can say one thing - I don't find the way he wants to be with Rey certainly A BAD THING. She was literally the first person after Poe who believed in Finn, and him tricking her made him feel awful about it. She was one of the reasons why he had changed his ways and I love their relationship, platonic or romantic. They are the best <3

music i associate with them (if any)

Snake: OK I HAVE SO MANY I've posted lots of Muse songs with MG characters already but I'll do it again ;)

Frou Frou - Let Go (I actually have a wip with this lol)

Family of the Year - Hero (Maybe too on the nose idc)

Muse - Map of the Problematique (OK BIASED bc this is one of my top top TOP muse songs ever. kinda snox vibes actually... the animations I have in my mind every time I listen to this. I always say to myself I'm going to make something with it and never do) Muse - The Handler (Writing this down too just because I've posted this before saying it fits Snake but I had just finished MG1 then and he was all I could think about, later I felt like it could also be Raiden's song. But. He fits Citizen Erased better.) Muse - Cave

Oasis - Part of the Queue

Imogen Heap - Headlock (in my otasune playlist...)

MFÖ - Mazeretim Var Asabiyim Ben

I probably have more and will be like "ah i should have added that one" but I can't think of anymore rn

Finn: Wish it was 2014-15 and I would have been in my peak SW era and give you a million songs. I can only give meme-y songs rn

Rober Hatemo - Sana Çinden Koşarım (he sings this to Rey)

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive (and this to Kylo lmao)

if I feel (spiritually) like I could beat them in a fight

Snake: Just NO. LMAO. I think he would just laugh at me if I even tried to.

Finn: Before TFA? Maybe. He was only a sanitation worker. But I wouldn't want to 🥺