#anyway if I've just missed some in game explanation for what's going on every time elves appear to be sleeping please lmk

[outeremissary]

kasander + 😴 please!

Thank you ❤️ Sleep questions about D&D elves always lead peculiar places, don't they?

hc + 😴 for a sleep-themed headcanon

Kasander seldom sleeps willingly. Their trance is already haunted by half-alien memories of blood and darkness, disorganized images they struggle to stitch together and match to their origins. It's upsetting even without any supernatural incursion causing more extreme visions, and it makes them fear resting. Sleeping, on the rare experiment trying to avoid the memories, is much worse. They always dream, and they always dream Bhaal's dreams. And it takes such a terribly long time to wake. So they avoid sleeping, and they're thankful not to have a reason to.

However, sleep is the most convenient way for the Emperor to contact them, and the Emperor has a way of pulling them under whenever he pleases. When they first met and the Emperor was still in the form of the Dream Visitor the Emperor offered to soothe their nights from the restless, terrible trance by quieting their dreams- if only they would sleep, of course. Disoriented, still largely amnesiac, and distressed by the visions, Kasander agreed eagerly (there was a lot of agreeing with the Emperor then) and committed themself to the psionic protection out of desperation for any relief from the growing fear there was something wrong with them. It did seem to work- mostly- but when Kas began to break with the Emperor they stopped sleeping nightly as well. By that point they were ready to grapple with the horrors of trance again, as painful and difficult as they were.

[itsharleystuff]

↳ 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄

Gif not mine!

— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Joel Miller x afab!fem reader

— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7k

— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Ellie finds an old chessboard somewhere in Jackson and asks you to teach her how to play. Joel joins and isn’t too happy about losing three times against you.

— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), age gap (reader is in her mid twenties, Joel is early fifties), sex, p in v, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, use of whore (like once), pet names (darling, sweetheart, angel), multiple orgasms, they do it on the table, cum eating, bit of angst, insecure Joel, canon divergency, probably ooc Joel and Ellie, mentions of death and loss, alcohol consumption, confessing feelings. Let me know if I missed something!

a/n: this one’s a bit rushed but I wanted to post it before my birthday so I apologize if it isn’t great. Anyways, I’m writing a second Javi fic, so if you liked 𝐌Í𝐀 I’m certain you’re going to love the next one:)

no use of y/n

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

"You're cheating." Ellie rambles, standing up to get a better view of the board and analyze it from different angles. You can't help but giggle at her childish attitude, cause it truly brought a certain joy to the dynamic. "Hey! It's not funny."

"How could I cheat? You were watching my game the whole time." You defend you case, raising your hands in a sign of peace but gaining a glare from the girl.

"I don't know, you're the one who's teaching me." In that moment, you hear the crack of the front door opening, but none of you bother to stand and greet the main resident of the house, too busy in your own matters.

"Look, I'm playing fair. I am simply older and more experienced than you." Ellie grimaces and sits back on the chair, both arms crossed over her chest. "But try not to feel too bad. I've always been really good at chess."

Joel enters the dining room and walks right past you, going straight to the kitchen. You guess he's either going for a beer or to pour some whiskey into his favorite glass. Always the same routine every weekend: he would come home late with absolutely no explanations as to where he was, drink something strong and spend some time with both of you before heading to bed.

"You must be a really good strategist, then." She replies, amused. "I’ve heard this game is all about that. Strategies."

When you're about to respond, the man's heavy footsteps get closer as he comes to the room once again and leans back on the wall opposite to you, a glass of whiskey on his hand. His grayish hair is messy and his eyes seem to shine brighter under the warm light hanging over your heads when he looks at you intently. Often, he would appear exhausted after being off all day, but tonight it was different. Something about him was, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

Ellie must've sensed a shift in the air, since she changed her approach in a second. "Joel, you're pretty ancient. I bet you know how to play."

You hold back your laughter at her mocking comment, reaching the board to rearrange the pieces. He cocked an eyebrow in her direction, straightening his posture nonchalantly.

"I'm more of a poker man," he retorts with a distant air, diverting his gaze to Ellie.

"Poker?" You frown as he comes your way, but doesn't take a sit just yet. "I didn't take you for a gambler, Miller."

He sets the glass down on the table, leaning over the chair next to you with a smirk. "M'not. There’s many ways of playing other than betting your money, f’you know what I mean.”

Your eyes widen at his response, taken aback. So he meant like… The one were you end up naked. “Now, I would’ve expected that from Tommy, but you? That’s a surprise.”

He shrugs, faded smile still on his lips.

You remembered what Ellie once told you, ‘he does that whenever you’re around,’ she had said in a meditative tone, ‘smile, I mean. It’s kind of creepy cause… y’know, he never does.’ Perhaps that’s why she acted differently every time you three were together.

“Yeah, whatever.” The girl grumbles. “Can you play chess or not? I need someone to take revenge for me.”

Joel takes a seat beside you, slowly, glancing over the board before sipping from his drink again. He looks back at Ellie, whose eyes were sparkling with excitement. The man sighs in defeat, well aware that he just couldn’t say no to her. A dad reflex, maybe, but it worked out in her favor and she’d take advantage of it as much as she could.

“Fine. I call black.” You nod in agreement and the younger one leans on her elbows for a better view. “Either way, I know you like making the first moves. Ain’t that right, darlin’?”

Your first reaction was almost choking on your own saliva. Honestly, how dare he say something like that in front of Ellie? Did he suddenly forget that she was fourteen and terribly clever? Had he lost his mind? Also, he never called you by anything other than your name whenever she was around, so this whole situation felt like a personal attack.

“You okay over there?” Ellie asked, slightly concerned at your incessant coughing.

“Yeah…” you give him a dirty look and press a hand to your chest, making the first move with a white pawn. “Could you bring me some water? I think my soul might’ve left my body.”

“Sure.” She quickly answers, standing up. Joel doesn’t say anything else, his mind focused only on the game now.

It had all happened last weekend.

Thinking in retrospective, your relationship with him had always been ambiguous. You couldn’t quite recall when he actually started talking to you and not just ‘bear with your presence’, nor when his invitations to come over to his place started coming from him and not Ellie.

At first, it was simply you and her. Bonding was easy, despite her sharp character. She looked up to you, for whatever reason that might be, and that smoothed things. Joel was a completely different story. He acted like you didn’t exist, as if you were merely another bug roaming his house. Though when he saw how good your friendship with Ellie was, his brusque behavior started to fade, or at least settle down somehow.

Sooner than later you started coming over to make dinner, or teach the teenager how to bake some of the recipes your grandmother had thought you -more like you’d do everything while she chatted to keep you entertained-. But truth be told, it became more of an excuse to see him.

Honestly, you were doomed since the very beginning. There was undeniably no way you would’ve been able to escape Joel Miller’s silent charm. His presence became a constant need to you, and you’d often find yourself relating certain things to him. Smoke, denim, pills, booze, watches and boots, to mention a few. To you, he was all gray and blue, merging in the best way possible.

You didn’t expect him to thank you for taking care of them. Them. Not just Ellie, him too. Or that he’d suddenly show up to places you would frequent, which made you wonder, could he possibly feel the same way? Sure, it could’ve been a simple coincidence… If it weren’t for the stolen looks you’d often share. Though his face rarely reflected any interest in you, his piercing gaze would frequently burn your skin every time you were hanging out with other men.

Two weeks ago, Maria had been held back from patrol due to her pregnancy, and you were called to fill up her place. The thing is, you were supposed to leave with Tommy, but somehow ended up with his older brother, riding at dawn in utter silence and searching for a prey to hunt. It wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, yet it allowed you to watch him more attentively: his broad shoulders and sturdy back, the dark graying hair that, in some way, made him more attractive. And then your mind, went to some… Darker places.

How would his big, manly hands feel cupping your breasts? Flashy images of his rough, calloused fingers pinching your nipples meandered your mind. His face buried between your legs, his mustache tickling your…

“You ‘kay there, sweetheart?” He had asked, abruptly taking you out of your freakish daydreaming. “You seem distracted.”

Well, that was a way of putting it. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…” you babbled, “I hate the rifle.” Joel glanced back at you with a stiff, confused expression. “If I shoot this thing, I’ll feel the kickback on my shoulders and back for at least two weeks from now.”

The horses were stagnant, waiting by the trees while you took a stroll nearby, keeping an eye for any sort of animal that would serve for dinner.

“Show me.” He said, internally amused by your inquiring expression. “Show me how you hold it.”

“Oh…” You compeled, in spite of the anxiety his stern eyes brought upon you.

“You’re doin’ it wrong.” He grunted, coming to approach you, still holding the position.

You scowled, raising a brow to him but not daring to move a muscle. “Maybe you’re just making me nervous, did you think about that?”

Joel plants himself behind you, staying so close that you could feel the warmth of his body through the many layers of clothing. Your heartbeat races when his hand rearranges the rifle on your elbow, unintentionally wrapping his arms around you.

“You need to hold it like this.” His tone was low but still firm. “Keep it up.” You feel his chest pressed to your back and his face near yours, making it hard to breathe.

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, cause if your head turns even a little, you fear the distance between you might as well disappear. His hand holds your wrist steady, the other one going from your elbow to your waist in a tight grip that makes you gasp.

“Do I make you nervous?” He questioned, without letting you go. Paying no mind to the way your nerves buzzed and ears rang at the proximity, you slowly nodded. “Are you afraid of me?”

His doubt made your heart jump and knit your brows together. “No. I trust you.” Joel’s breath hit your temple and it took all the self control in your body not to get rid of the distance.

“You shouldn’t.” Both his hands are on your waist in a firm grasp. He definitely noticed your flushed cheeks, the ragged breathing and constant desire to look at him. Like a damn teenager in love. You gulp, trying to regain composure.

“And why is that?” He didn’t answer, and every second that passed and his hands were still on you only made it worse. You needed to get closer or your lungs would crush under the weight of expectation. “Joel?”

You finally gave in, raising your head to face him. He was already looking down at you, eyes smitten and lost. A reflection of him you’d never seen before. Your gaze goes to his lips and inevitably lick your own before going up to his deep, brown eyes again.

Fucking hell, the man was mesmerizing.

Before you even knew what you were doing, you’re leaning forward, completely forgetting about the rifle and the whole world around you. Your noses touch and your lips merely brush against each other’s. Instinctively, you close your eyes in hopes that he’d go for it.

But he didn’t.

Instead, his hand comes to arrange your posture again, murmuring a lazy ‘easy’ in your ear, that shared moment vanishing in thin air.

“When shooting a weapon this big, you gotta bring your strength from your torso and legs.” And then he acted like nothing happened; nevertheless, he was perfectly aware of the effect he had on you. “That way it won’t hurt after.”

Well shit. Now you had screwed up.

This man was like a father to Ellie and you were not only infatuated with him, but also add to the list that you had purposely tried to kiss him. You were embarrassed, to say the least. Specially since it appeared that whatever feelings you had were one-sided.

Or so you thought, up until last Saturday.

You hadn’t talked with him about it. In fact, you hadn’t even been alone with him ever since. It was probably for the best, though, that way you wouldn’t have to humiliate yourself in front of him any further. Every time you happened to cross paths, he seemed aloof, more indifferent than usual.

It was pretty late, probably past midnight and Joel hadn’t yet arrived. You had spent all day with Ellie and now you were just waiting for his return, but she was growing tired and you didn’t think it was fair for her to stay up for too long.

“Go to bed, okay? I’ll wait for him.” You told her with a smile.

“Nah, don’t worry. I’m not even…” whatever she was going to say got cut off by her yawn.

“Right. You were saying?” She rolled her eyes and snorted at your victorious air.

“Fine. But promise you won’t stay for too long. I��d hate to know you didn’t get any sleep because of me.” You agreed and said everything would be fine, that she had nothing to worry about.

So you waited there on his living room, reading old crappy magazines about celebrity gossip while facing the crackling fire that kept the house warm. It was easy to lose track of time this way, therefore, when the door opened at last, you had no idea how long you had been waiting around. You rushed to his encounter, but you were totally unprepared for what happened next.

“Jesus Christ, Joel. Are you- shit…” the man standing ahead was someone you knew, but could barely recognize. The side of his face was bleeding, a cut going from his temple to the cheekbone and there were bruises scattered around it. He was sweating and you could swear he was about to faint.

You closed the door behind him, tugging his shoulder to drag him inside, all the way to the kitchen. Despite his rumbles of protest, Joel allowed you to do it, putting up no resistance. His mind was screaming at him to tell you that you should leave and that he didn’t need any help. But he was too fucking exhausted and you were being so kind and warm… He just couldn’t bring himself to do it, ignoring the part of his brain that kept telling him ‘you’ll regret this later’. For once in a very long time, he was being irrational, letting another part of him take control; or rather lose it completely.

You sat him down on a chair and took a clean towel, wetting it with cold water to treat the wound. In addition, you also took the bottle of whiskey that he kept locked away where Ellie wouldn’t find it, pouring him a glass. He gulps it down straight away.

Joel observes your every move closely. Your steady hands going to his chin and raising his face to the light, the way your features drown in concern and your dazzling eyes examine the injury. His skin burnt there where you touched him and it was becoming hard for him to keep his mind focused, growing dizzier with pain and intoxicated by your perfume. He really shouldn’t be feeling this way, and it burdens him to know it. Your lovely, young self shouldn’t be an object of his desire; and the fact that you were what he wanted the most was killing him achingly slow.

Because, even if you did want him back, what good could it possibly come from the whole thing? He’d just hold you back. There were plenty of other men in Jackson that could offer you things he certainly couldn’t. Yeah, that was it. He was way too corrupted to be deserving of someone like you.

“Does it hurt too much?” You muttered while getting rid of the blood, careful not to be too harsh.

“S’okay, angel.” The name-calling wasn’t something you usually liked. It sounded condescending coming from other men, but when he did it, your stomach fluttered. “Were you waiting for me?”

You nod vaguely, “I was worried.” His eyes bore into yours and your heart skips a beat. “I mean we. We were worried.”

“Right…” He noticed how your fingers brushed the hair out of his face tenderly, his self-control threatening to crumble under your touch with every second that went by. His hand takes your wrist, preventing you from keeping up your work. For a moment, he says nothing, simply staring at you fixedly. “I think you should leave.” He blurts out, letting go of you.

Oh, there they were. Those mixed signs that you always seemed to misinterpret.

You groan in exasperation, leaving the bloody towel beside the bottle of alcohol. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I don’t need your pity.” Joel was being petty and his deliver managed to hurt a little. But you would not give him that much power, at least not without putting up a fight.

“It’s not about that and you know it.” You cross both arms over your chest and sit on the edge of the table, determined to get out of that agog that wouldn’t let you sleep. “Why are you pushing me away?”

He rubs a hand over his face, taking his time to retort and avoiding your eyes. “I can’t give you what you want.”

You laugh sardonically, challenging him. “And what is that?” His gaze is disdainful and rude, but you don’t let him intimidate you. “Are you afraid?”

If you were anyone else, you’d be shaking with fear. Joel was tough, to the point where some might call him cynical. But you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. His goal was to scare you off.

“Go. I don’t need you here.” You don’t move an inch, resolved to bring an end to whatever this was and ignoring his vicious glare.

“No,” you huffed.

“I told you to leave.” He was getting pissed, his voice trembling with anger and the cold words slicing the tense air.

“And I said no. I don’t take orders from you.” His lips were sealed in a fine line, eyes feisty. “Be honest with me and then I’ll see myself out.”

Silence again. A more prolonged one in which none of you had the bravery to come forward. Every second that went on and nothing happened was a torture you could not endure. That was it then, you’d made a fool of yourself yet again.

“Fine.” Your voice comes out unsteady from choking down the tears as you stand up straight, set on leaving all these feelings behind.

But right when you walk by his side, Joel’s hand grabs your arm softly. His grip wasn’t strong enough to hold you back if you really wanted to go, kind of like he was unsure about his own actions.

“Push me away.” He pleads. And it sounds desperate, as if the whole situation caused him agony. “Please, push me away.”

Your wet your lips, astonished by how guilty he appeared when practically begging you to stay away, “I can’t,” you respond, “I won’t.”

There was no turning back now. He had trapped himself on purpose and jeopardized everything the moment he laid his hand on you. The minute your eyes found each other’s, he realized he’d just lost all willpower that remained.

Joel pulled you closer and the sudden action almost made you trip, forcing you to place both hands on his chest to stay still. Something flicked in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite comprehend. But you took it as a sign to fully give in to your desires, as long as he’d permit it. You sit on his lap, solely enjoying the moment. His face, despite the beating, was ever so beautiful. It wasn’t fair. If he wanted you too, why did he have make it this difficult? Perhaps he was simply… Insecure.

“What have you done to me, sweetheart?” He asked, voice strained as he looks down at your lips. Your fingertips gently trace the edges of his face.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.” One of his hands covers your thigh and the other rests on his knee.

“Do you like playin’ around with an old man like me?” You can’t help but laugh a bit, your thumb going across his bottom lip. “Is this what you want? A sweet thing like you can do so much better.”

“I don’t care for boys, or any other men for that matter.” His chest swells at your words. “I like you, Joel. Is that so hard to believe?” The man swears you can feel his heart thumping against his ribs when he whispers a barely audible ‘yes’. His honesty moved you and grew a weird feeling in your chest that impelled you to prove him wrong.

In response, you lastly get rid of that awful distance, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips and feeling the unfamiliar tickle of his mustache. It was stubborn at first, but he caved in eventually, kissing you back slowly. He took his time to relish on your taste before deepening the kiss, manhandling you on top of him. Joel’s hands are on your lower back and the nape of your neck as his tongue explores your mouth in depth, letting go of himself. You moaned in between the kiss, drunken by every light stimulation, which only spurred him on and turned the situation hungrier, more desperate.

“Joel…” you pull back, laying your forehead against his. “I have to go.”

You feel him chuckle at your declaration. “Seriously? Now?” His tone was raspy and faint.

“I don’t want to.” You assure with a pout, “But I fear that if I stay, this won’t end in a simple kiss. And Ellie’s upstairs, remember?” He agreed it was for the best, but still couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself, asking you to stay the night even if he had to sleep on the couch.

That was the night that started everything.

After that weekend, the way he acted changed radically. He remained with that grim, stoic exterior. Yet, he was brighter around you, more beaming. In public, he’d always find a way to touch you, even if it was merely a brief brush of skin. On bolder days, he’d pull you apart from a crown and take you somewhere darker to make out for as long as you could. Which wasn’t much, since everyone always appeared to have some sort of unresolved business with either of you.

Today, however, something was odd. Joel went off, as usual, and you stayed with Ellie, who had found an old, ragged chessboard somewhere in Jackson. A game that, as it turns out, you particularly loved.

That’s how you ended up here.

Three rounds afterwards, you keep winning and increasing his irritation.

“Checkmate.” You say for the fifth time tonight, giving him a triumphant smile, getting up from your seat to pour some whiskey into your glass.

“You’re cheating.” He barks, annoyed.

“See! I told you.” Ellie backed him up and the way they teamed up to bash you almost made you giggle.

“Suck it up, losers!” You shout from the kitchen, entertained by their resentment.

“Spill your secrets then, otherwise I will simply not be convinced.” She replies, glowering.

The drink nearly dissolves on your tongue and you leave the glass on the counter, coming to join them again. You rest both hands on her shoulders in a friendly gesture.

“My grandpa thought me when I was young. Before the outbreak, I mean.” Ellie turns her head to look at you in interest. “He got sick afterwards… Forgetful and amnesiac.” You explain, “Chess stimulated his brain and since I was his only family left, we would spend hours playing.” Joel’s chest feels heavy at the sight of your nostalgic smile. “We had a great time together. He… Passed away a couple years ago.” Ellie takes your hand on her own in a comforting manner, but you don’t feel particularly sad, simply emotional about the past. “Hey, kiddo. Didn’t you have a movie night with Dina today?”

“Shit!” Her eyes widen. “Thanks for the reminder, I totally lost track of time,” she gets up with an apologetic smile, “I’m gonna head out now.” She quickly takes a jacket and ties her hair up. “You guys can keep playing or… I don’t know, just don’t wait around for me.”

And just like that, you’re left alone.

After an entire week of sneaking around and behind everyone’s back, you’re finally alone.

There’s a shift in the air of the room and you narrow your eyes when you gape at him. “You think she knows something?”

He tilts his head to the side and finishes his whiskey. “Probably. Can’t know for sure.” The vague answer made you shrug, deciding to put a pin to it for later.

Now that no one was around, you were determined to have some fun, coming up with a plan that could escalate things between you. And he surely thought so too. It wouldn’t be difficult to get his attention, since he was constantly monitoring your every move. Being that way, you intentionally stand beside him when leaning to reorder the pieces, giving him a very good view of your ass.

“Another round?” You ask tauntingly, “Or are you already tired of getting defeated?”

He grunts, upset by the previous resolutions. “I’d like to play another game.” You turn around with a cheeky smile. “One that I won’t lose.”

“And what would that be?” He gives you a darkened, intense glance, his lips pursed in a smirk.

Joel Miller was a man of few words and he totally lived up to it. Instead of responding, he grabbed your hips and dragged your body to the side, so that you were now standing between his legs, lingering against the edge of the table. You swallow hard, meeting his heavy gaze from above him. It made your pulse raise and blood rush, igniting something that you haven’t quite felt with anyone else yet. He presses a kiss to your clothed abdomen, eyes never wandering from yours as he lowers his lips to your pelvis, lifting your shirt leisurely.

“Look at you, darlin’. All flustered and I’ve barely done anything.” Your chest rises and falls methodically, the atmosphere feeling dense despite the chilly air. Your tongue darts out to lick your lips when he starts laying open-mouthed kisses along your exposed belly, sending shivers through your whole body, “Off,” he motions at your clothes.

You do as told, getting rid of the shirt and tossing it to the floor. His big, warm hands strain your movements as he explores your skin, kissing all the way up to the valley of your breasts.

“Joel…” you take a fistful of his hair and pull at it mildly, just enough to yank his head backwards and bring your lips together, swallowing a whimper from him.

The kiss is ambitious, all teeth and tongue, as if you had been craving each other for long and had just barely given in. He swiftly stands up and sits you at the end of the table, spreading your knees to settle in between your thighs. He parts from your mouth and traces your jawline, neck and collarbones, nibbling and sucking the sensitive skin, lightly scraping it with his facial hair. You were a mess at this point, panting and tugging at him as if you were about to collapse. But then he stops, breathing heavily against your chest and looking up to you with dark, lustful eyes.

“What- Did I do something wrong?” You stutter with uncertainty.

“Ain’t nothing wrong, angel.” His hand rests heavy on your thigh, a mischievous grin painted on his face. “But I told you we’d play a different game, didn’t I?”

This new side of him was exciting in many ways possible and whatever it was he wanted to do, you were certain it was going to be fun. And, possibly, a bit tortuous. You peer at him in expectation.

“Make your move.” He commanded, pointing the board with a succinct head movement. You obligue, choosing a random pawn and moving it with shaky hands while struggling to think straight. The man hums and decides to mirror your tactic. “Keep goin’.”

Next thing you know his fingers unhook your bra and you have to make a quick choice in spite of all the distractions. At the end, you go for a horse, barely capable of register anything other than his hands taking off the piece of clothing. After contemplating your scheme, he moves another pawn in return.

“Shit.” He hissed at the sight of your exposed tits, nipples hard from the cold air and arousal. “Focus.”

You weren’t sure if that last order was for him or for you, but either way the game kept going. He had enough attention span to grope your breasts and tweak your nipples between the pads of his calloused fingers, while also moving the chess pieces around. You couldn’t say the same for yourself; a louder moan escaping your lips when he replaced his fingers with his mouth.

The more ministrations he provided, the harder it became to make strategic moves. But you were determined not to let him win, regardless of the ache between your legs and the growing wetness in your panties that he refused to attend.

“Joel, I…” He takes away one of your rooks, his lips attached to your neck and hands caressing your inner thighs. “I need more.”

He huffs a laugh that vibrates through your lower body. “That right, angel? Tell me what you want.”

You take away his only bishop left and hear him growl at his approaching defeat. “Touch me, please.”

“Where?” His scent fogs your senses, so manly and distinctive of him, growing the need to feel him in any way possible. “Words, sweetheart.”

“I need your fingers in my cunt, Joel.” You spit out, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down his throat and increasing his arousal with your lack of coyness. “Please.”

“Anything for my pretty girl.” He unbuttons your pants and slides one hand inside, palming your pussy over the underwear, altering your breathing pattern and moving the queen with his free hand. “Fuck, you’re drippin’.” You grind against his hand and his grip on your waist tightens to keep you still as he kneads circles on your clit over the thin fabric. “Your turn, darlin’.”

The game carries on at the same time as he moves your panties aside and slides two thick fingers inside your entrance, his thumb still fondling your nub slowly. You can’t keep your moans at low and the stimulation picks up when he curls his digits to hit your right spots. All that can be heard in the room is the cracking wood of the fireplace and the squelching sounds of your pussy.

“Jesus Christ, Joel…” you cry out his name, burying your face on the crook of his neck, grabbing the soft flannel in your fists and spilling all your whimpers into his ear, delighting yourself with the way he smelt. He groans at the feeling of your bare chest pressed to him, his cock throbbing painfully at every sound you’d make.

“You like that, darlin’? You like to fuck my fingers on top of this table like a needy little whore?” You clench around him and throw your head back, a new wave of slick coating all the way to his knuckles. “Ah, so you do like it.”

“Yes, Joel. I-” he speeds up his pace, greedily circling your clit in a way that makes your back arch, giving him a glorious view from his position.

“Fuck, you’re so hot. Been wanting to do this for so fuckin’ long…” He admits, peppering kisses all over your breasts.

“Me too. Thought about you when I-” your voice gets lost at the sudden feeling of heat settling on your lower stomach, building up your crescendo. “When I was alone.” Your confession only manages to prompt him further and make his movements more effective. You squirm under his touch, a hand messing his hair while the other holds his belt to keep him close.

He groans a deep ‘fuck’ at the pathetic sound you made. All because of him. No; all of them for him.

“Joel, I’m- shit, I’m close,” there’s a hotness on the pit of your stomach that extends to your legs.

“I know, angel.” He coos, his free hand brushing the hair out of your face. “Go ahead, do it.” His words are all it takes for your orgasm to hit, shocking every nerve on your body. He helps you come down from it, tracing soothing patterns on your bare skin as your body quivers from elation.

“Joel…” you whisper, both your hands on his belt and going to unbuckle it, watching as he takes both fingers to his lips and licks them clean.

“Sweet” he kisses you again, deeply. You happily return it with the same energy, nibbling at his bottom lip while your palm slides inside his jeans to feel up his bulge over the underwear. He muffles a moan in your mouth, his hot, hard cock twitching under your grip.

Your hand drifts inside his boxers to feel him directly, your thumb rubbing over the tip to spread the surprising amount of precum that oozed there. Joel gasped into your mouth, the sound prompting you further.

“Checkmate.” You tell him, pulling back only when you needed to breathe, guiding your finger to your tongue in order to taste him. “I won.”

His eyes divert to the board in awe, and you admire his mesmerized expression when he confirms that you had, in fact, won again. Joel comes back to dote on your devilish grin, fueled up by a new thrill of excitement.

“Fuck this…” he mutters through gritted teeth, mindlessly tossing the board to the side and letting it fall off the table along with all the pieces, making an absolute mess. It appears like he doesn’t even register any of it, going straight back to kissing you, his hands sliding your pants down your legs.

“Shit, Joel…” You can’t help but laugh at his reaction, encouraged by his sudden passion.

As your lips collide once again, you start to unbutton his shirt and he helps you out of your jeans, along with your very wet panties. He pushes your back against the wooden surface, holding you down with a hand around your neck.

“Winners that boast in their victory are only brats.” He snarls, taking his dick out for you to see. Your mouth waters at the sight of it: thick, bigger than you could’ve expected, the head swollen and glistening. “Brats need to be tamed.”

You whine when he parts your thighs even wider, teasing your slit with his tip, covering it in your slick and intentionally grazing your aching clit, urging you to grab his bicep for support.

“Can’t you just fuck me already?” You blurt out, the sensation only edging you more. “I might just cum again from all the teasing.”

His fingertip sweeps across your bottom lip, an eyebrow raised. “You really that sensitive, angel?” He questions, “Or is it just because of me?”

The inquiry nearly makes you crack up. Damn, the man was totally clueless. “Are you really that unaware of the effect you have on me?”

His stare reflects how pleased he is to hear that. “How many times did you beat me tonight, sweetheart?”

It takes an actual effort for you to recall and muster up an answer when he keeps toying with you so mercilessly. “Three, I presume.”

Joel’s hand slithers to your lower back, keeping you angled for him. “Then I’ll get you off three times.” Your heart jumps at the sentence and you look at him in disbelief. “Can you do that, angel?”

Three fucking times?

When your whole life men had only ever given you… None, practically. One at most, if you were lucky enough. And Joel mother-fucking Miller had the nerve to ask if you could handle three.

“Bet.” The answer is music to his ears, giving in once and for all as he enters you unhurriedly.

He’s so big and you feel him splitting you open exquisitely, the sensation fading any thoughts, beliefs or identities from your mind. Right now, all you know is him. It stings a little and it forces you to screw your eyes shut, letting out a small whine as he bottoms out, your nails digging on his arm.

“You’re doing s’good, baby.” He continues to say in midst of it, talking your way through it, “Taking me so well…” You think it’s somewhat unfair that he’s still fully clothed and you’re naked as the day you came; yet, at the moment your mind can’t even think of anything but his cock, buried deep inside you. “If something feels off or it becomes to much… Let me know and I’ll stop.” You nod, eagerness starting to scratch your insides.

“Yes. Now can you please, please start moving.” He holds back a chuckle, gazing at you from above, barely lifting your hips to feel more of him.

“Atta girl,” he obeys, thrusting his hips sharply and deep. “Look so pretty beggin’ to be fucked.” His big arm travels to the arch in your back, withdrawing and pushing in again, slowly losing his consciousness to pleasure.

“Fucking hell, you fill me up so good…” he moans gruffly at your comment, pulling you down on his cock as he picks up an unrelenting pace, hitting every right spot as if he knew them all by memory.

“Shit, you’re so tight,” Joel drags in an out, rejoicing himself in every high pitched moan you’d spill. Your legs wrap around his waist in an effort to keep him as close as you could.

The angle is very intimate, his whole body flushed against yours, warm and firm, while your hand snakes under his flannel to dig your nails on his bare shoulders, the other scratching his scalp delicately and Joel’s hot, erratic breaths hitting your face as you gape at him. It’s like everything else disappeared and it was all about the two of you and this moment of pure rapture. Unable to contain your urge, you search for his lips, kissing him one more time, the mixture of mint and alcohol in his mouth fogging your senses in the best way possible.

His tip nudges your g-spot relentlessly, the stretch his girth provided so satisfying that you clench around him as your second orgasm approaches, causing him to pull apart from the kiss and let out a sinful groan, deep from his throat, that sends a shudder up your spine. It all becomes too much; the friction of your delicate nipples with his shirt, his thick cock dragging against your walls and lastly, Joel’s teeth biting down the soft skin under your ear, his facial hair scraping deliciously. That is your cum button.

“That’s my girl, making a mess on my dick,” he fucks you through it, slowing down his pace and only pulling out when your legs tremble. “Say it darlin’, tell me who you belong to.”

“You, Joel…” he basks in the view of your fucked out self, looking up at him in a delirious state, eyes low, heat soared across your cheeks and lips plumped. “Shit, Miller,” you sit up, arm still hanging around his broad shoulders while his hard, throbbing cock rested against your thigh. “You’re so fucking hot, did you know that? It drives me insane.”

He laughs huskily, his big hand caressing the side of your face in a caring manner. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he speaks softly, “I think I might’ve fucked you so hard I scrambled your brain.”

You actually crack up this time, pressing a kiss to his forehead and muttering an: “Idiot.” He grabs your thighs and methodically swirls your body, flushing your back against his chest. Without warning, he slams into you again, making you yelp at the sudden action.

“You’ve got a dirty mouth,” he pokes fun at you, “next time we’ll put it to use.” And the promise raises goosebumps on your skin.

This new position gave you the opportunity to feel him deeper, if that was even possible. His thighs and hips firm against yours, every single snap making you feel that delicious stretch he provided as your cunt envelopes him tightly. But you were already far too sensitive and every light touch added to his thrusts made your body feel weaker.

“Joel, I-” he holds you with an arm covering your waist, his fingers pinching your nipples. “Fuck, I won’t last…”

He becomes more vocal, his disjointed moans drifting from his lips right into your ear while the hand on your hip makes its way to rub your clit gloriously, in a way that makes you wonder just how the fuck does he know exactly what your body likes.

“Is my sweet girl gonna cum for me?” you nod, unable to form any words, only capable of reveling on the way his cock throbs inside you. “Speak, remember?”

But you can’t. Nothing comes out of your mouth besides his name, like a constant plea. When the third one finally came, it was simply euphoric; your whole body shudders and your vision goes white, tears spilling from the corners of your eyes as you start to feel lightheaded. Joel draws out with a grunt, a string of curses leaving his lips as you spin around to see him. Your hand wraps around his own when he fucks his fist and you take in the sight of him cumming all over your fingers, his forehead laying on your shoulder as you milk him. Inevitably, you lick your fingers to taste his salty load. A sight that would be engraved in his brain for the rest of his days and that could possibly haunt him in his time apart from you.

“Checkmate my ass,” he grits between shaky breaths, your hand stroking his hair as he comes down from his high.

“What a sore loser…” you joke. In fact, you plan to say something more, but you feel too tired for anything.

It didn’t really matter, though. Joel took good care of you. He bathed with you, cleaned up the whole mess and gave you one of his shirts for you to sleep with, eventually going to bed with your very passed out self.

Well, if Ellie didn’t know anything before, she surely will now.

[aliquistis]

On Mystra and Gale

Okay I gotta say it.

tl;dr: Gale is too old to have been groomed by Mystra (unless you headcanon him as 30 or younger), bc she was dead until 1479 (game year is 1492). I am not defending Mystra. Mystra is a mess. Her (FR) writing is a mess. But for this at least, the timeline doesn't add up.

Disclaimer: there is absolutely nothing wrong with people disregarding/tweaking lore for fan works/fanfic. God knows I do it all the time when I GM. That's your story now and you can do whatever you want with it, including exploring problematic relationships like what if Gale was groomed by Mystra? This is just a post for general information. Write what you want. Explore those dark recesses of the human heart. Fly free, you beautiful butterfly.

Too long but still gonna read explanation under the cut.

Let me preface this again: This is not a post in defense of Mystra. I have, in fact, been very loudly complaining about Mystra since long before Baldur's Gate 3 was even hinted. This is simply pointing out timeline discrepancies that it seems many newcomers to Forgotten Realms aren't aware of (totally understandable! You should not need to ingest 30 years of lore to enjoy a game and I'm not saying you do.) Additionally, FR literally kills Mystra every new edition and it gets dumber every time.

Anyways. It is highly unlikely that Gale was groomed by Mystra. This is not a statement of morality, it's a statement of timeline. Mystra died in 1385. She was in pieces (like bits of her magic were still in artifacts/her Chosen, such as Elminster in lore that I absolutely despise) and that, as far as I can tell, is how magic subsisted until 1479, when she was reconstituted by Elminster (in lore that I absolutely despise) This is a gross oversimplification of an event called the Spellplague. I am open to correction on how magic worked here because I moved to Pathfinder during the 4e era and you could not make me read those Elminster books if you put a gun to my head.

Regardless, from 1385-1479, Mystra was dead/missing/asleep. BG3 takes place in 1492. If Gale is 40 years old, he was born in 1452. This means, if Gale is 40, the youngest he could have been was 27 when Mystra contacted him. This lowers, obviously, if you think Gale is 35 or even 30. If he's 30 then Mystra could have contacted him at 17. Yes, a 17 year-old is a child and this could have led to grooming, but Mystra wasn't at full strength when she first returned and she most likely wasn't seeking new Chosen until the next year, 1480. Regardless, this is the reason I put grooming as Highly Unlikely instead of Impossible. I personally believe Gale is older than 30 (I say this as a person in their 30s), I believe he was written with the intention of being a man older than 30, and I cannot see him being in his 20s. (more power to you if that's your headcanon, he's an archmage, he could be 600 for all we know, fly free, etc)

OKAY THAT SAID. Would she have groomed him? Fucking probably! Mystra is a mess. I have been playing in Forgotten Realms in tabletop and video game settings for going on 25 years now and let me tell you. Mystra is a mess. I could make a whole long ass other post on all the many problems I've had with her writing over the years. Even without the "Mystra banged a minor" angle here, there is a serious power imbalance and very obvious manipulation on her part. And I'm here to tell you Gale isn't even the first wizard she has done this to! She's done much worse! Mystra has a ton of flaws (I could write a BOOK on Mystra's flaws) but it remains highly unlikely that grooming Gale in particular is one of them.

If you'd like more FR lore this person has some amazing lore write-ups that I really enjoyed reading during EA. And here is Mystra's forgotten realms wiki page, already linked to her death and return.

(my friend told me to post this after I kept bitching to them about Lore on discord and They Know Who They Are)

[cherryfennec]

hot take: the bosses in super paper mario permanently damaged any chance of the game ever getting rpg mechanics, it would make the rpg mechanics feel cheap and the bosses feel boring, especially super dimentio

abandoning the flippage and making the game be fully 3d like sm64 would be a good move though

Super Paper Mario stands out in the Paper Mario games especially because of the fact that the bosses aren't turn based. The fact that they mixed RPG and platformer elements was interesting, in the end some of them hit while some miss.

The bossess definitely have quite a lot of charm from being in full motion and not locked to turns, you get to see personality through movement like O'Chunks being a little slow to react, Dimentio and Mr.L being hard to catch and Bleck taking advantage of the background. A few that especially benefit are: Fracktails entire battle, Mimi climbing the ceiling midfight (and also her and Dimentio being able to flip after you), Brobot L-type or even Super Dimentio like you mentioned.

Despite this I have to admit that some fights might feel underwhelming gameplay wise. Getting personality is awesome but if it's at the expense of difficulty or unfun mechanics then it might be better to not push it. Especially with the problem of BIG open spaces. Chapter 4-4 boss room is super open and super empty which feels a little anticlimactic while Mimis boss room is super small and has little wiggle room. Mimi was in fact harder than Mr.L just because of the fact i couldn't jump or evade her as easily.

This doesn't mean that everything should be crammed into a small area but it is a little cheesy seeing the AI struggle to attack you in the few ways it can. (again with Mr.L, he makes mighty leaps in this large room and with how slow he descends and predictable the landing spot is you can just. walk under.)

When it comes to making it 3D sm64 style it would be conceptually interesting but personally? I think it should remain paper style. A story like this would be difficult and very time consuming to execute in the mainline 3D Super Mario style, especially considering the time it released in. The main focus here was clearly the lore and dialogue which a lot of people agree is the best thing about it. It's cut like a story book, which ties with being Paper Mario, and the idea that these characters are already doomed by the narrative.

But that's an entirely different discussion so I won't delve deeper or else we'll be here much longer.

If I could personally offer any changes to SPM it would be:

The timer on the FLIP ability sucks, either extend or remove completely. I want to see all these beautiful assets and bosses in 3D which are already fully programed but the timer is actively discouraging me from doing so because of the damage penalty. "Mario is getting nauseous that's why he can't stay there long" is a cool in-universe explanation but it's not fun gameplay wise.

Personal design nitpick but some areas could use some retouches. What do you mean you associated the colour of the Pure Heart to the worlds palette only in 4 Chapters? What about the rest? Please keep going!!

Increase the difficulty a little (aka make the AI somewhat smarter). Personality and struggle is what makes a character memorable in games. (really big detour but for example take Malenia from Elden Ring, she has lore that is optional to learn and yet theres a big chance you'll remember her anyway because she's a super hard boss)

This ones more of a 'what if' but I've been trying to imagine for a while the possibility of: normally everything is 3D/with depth like the other Paper Mario games and when you FLIP it becomes 2D (basically reversing the effect). I know this ruins Fracktail and would require more work with sculpting the environments but I like the thought of the hub being 3D. If not that at least add more assets to the environment when you flip. A lot of the time every tree and rock is in 2D while 3D is just so empty. Also consider just for a moment how little people FLIP during bosses and areas, probably forgetting they even can, and missing out on these cool models. Either that or they're aware that when they do FLIP they won't see anything because the cameras obscured by a wall (looking at you chapter 4).

In conclusion I think this take has stable ground and in the end I agree to an extent! There are some rather specific cases that I feel would work better in a turn based system but overall a lot of them are good as they are!

Making the game like sm64 sounds fun but could be difficult to execute without loosing any of the beautiful charm the Paper Mario format/style provides to it's stories.

[nickelstudy]

JLPT N1 Experience

So first of all, Happy New Year. It has been a while since I've updated this blog. I've been feeling depressed in the past few weeks, I think it's because of drawing? I feel like I haven't been performing well in art, and that it's hard to accept painful truth that I cannot please everyone- not that it matters on this blog, but it's WHY I decide to take some time to write an update here.

I was supposed to talk about my first experience with N1 but I got busy after. I caught up in many stuff, I guess, plus I was busy with my birthday and helping my family's work throughout the month. But now that it's over, let's talk shall we?

Before That

I haven't talked about my last week strategy, here's what I did.

Stopped learning Kanji and do the drills instead

Finished Shinkanzen Grammar in the first section. I had some days left, so I skimmed through the second section without doing the exercise (I did for A - D i think but- I definitely shouldn't)

Borrowed these two books (pic below). For reading, I did every bit of every question style (there were like 6 of them right? Short passage, Long, etc.)

And for listening, I tried to rush through it but I kinda gave up with the chapter III or IV I'm not sure.

I switched between two of them on the last day

FYI the blue book is actually fantastic! I think I've said it before but it has explanation for each answers. I think it's super cool.

Now For N1

Chapter 1: Before exam

For context, I travelled to the exam location alone, so I wasn't bounded by anyone and I could roam anywhere. I got out early, and arrived there pretty early. But walking from the entrance to the exam spot took a while, to the point where I doubted to myself if I was going in the right direction. There were many people there already. I think the morning peeps had already entered the room when I arrived.

I had lunch and... wander around (Typical Pikmin Bloom player). There wasn't much to do anyway. I decided to take a quick review of some onomatopoeia and other vocabs. I think at that point, nothing is more important than vocabs. It was a while before they allowed us to go up the building. Anyway, I SAW A KID in a highschooler outfit in front of the same room as mine! IM- I DON'T KNOW?? HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BE THIS GOOD AT THAT AGE?? And of course we entered the room. I sat not so far from the entrance.

One thing that bothers me is the fact that they never announced to bring a mask but they asked everyone to wear it in the room?? Luckily, I had it on already.

Chapter 2: The Exam

Sorry for the long introduction haha. SO, starting off with vocabs, grammars, and reading. I skipped to grammar secion first because it's not too hard or too easy. It's all fuzzy now but I did okay(?)

There was あっての that's pretty easy. But there was one of them that bugged me and I was wrong on that one too. It's といたしまして... so weird, I didn't expect it to answer that. ALSO, HONORIFIC VERB CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD but i think i answered it right.

Then onto reading section because I was really scared if I couldn't finished it. It- took me a while to finish each of them but in a fair amount of time. It's like 10 minutes left that I switched to doing vocabs with a lightning speed because I FORGOT there was a fill in the blanks and not just guessing kanji's reading.

I almost got 誇張 (こちょう) wrong as こうちょう

There were 奇跡、偏り、矛盾、賄う、軽率 in which i had no problems

Filling the words is where I had problem due to hurriness. I missed the 快挙 cause I don't know the word.

見返り too, because there was a word that I thought it meant (repay) and not the first

I GOT ONOMATOPOEIA WRONG ANYwAY HECC YEA i didn't know what つくづく means so i went with きっかり or きっぱり im not sure

Also there was a sentence that was supposed to mean "His body condition was..." I thought it was "worsen" so I went with 崩れる except no it's the opposite "ほぐれる". I didn't know that word but i've seen it before it's the goodamn spirit's name from the game.

I didn't know what 尺度 means or how it is read but I got the meaning substitution right (yay) (it's standard)

Here's the fun one. デマ... THIS WORD THAT I NEED TO GUESS HOW IT IS USED WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ITS MEANING. I tried to came up with the word this word could come from. Dermatologist? Demand? Theme??? (that's テーマ) I had no idea and got it wrong eventually. Can you guess?

It's "Demagogie", a German word meaning false rumor... WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED. I asked one of my Japanese if she knew. Of course she did. She even gave me an alternative for it too... but I forgot. I only know that's it in katakana (im sorry)

Last minute i left one Mondai randomly answered!

For Choukai, it was so goddamn fast. I am certain that if it wasn't fast, it would be manageable for me. I honestly don't know if I scored it well or not, the last listening part were as hard as ever. ONE THING ABT IT THOUGH, there was a part where they were talking in a cafe about how the shop owner use a coffee beans? I think?

ANd FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT'S WITH THE BACKGROUND MUSIC??? My concentration was popped away, I kept glancing around wondering if what I was hearing was someone's phone or the tape's music. I don't even know what the question really was to be honest.

What's Next?

I- I don't know. I just need to wait for the result. But I'll try to slowly get back to learning a bit Korean and Japanese every day again. Probably need to brush up Memrise and Anki. At least 5 mins a day haha. Thanks for reading til here. Keep on learning! I'll make sure to do my best for learning languages this year too!

I don't have new year's resolution but I guess.. continue ASL? I got busy that I have no time to do it anymore. I doubt if I can do it, considering I'll be busy with internship next academic year.

Anyway, have a great year everyone. Hope you have a good luck and success with studying and anything you are willing to pursue this year.

[kelyon]

Did you play the Last of Us game? if so what do you you think of the television show adaptation?

As I said in my TMI Tuesday post, The Last of Us is a topic I feel Very Normal about. To celebrate the incoming premier of the HBO show, @wayamy27narf and I spent the last week re-playing the game on hard mode. We watched the premier the second it came out, then listened to the official podcast on the same night. Then since we were both off the following day, we watched the first episode again, just to see if we missed anything.

So yeah, I kinda like the show. Every good thing that other people say about it is true. I'm kind of in a weird place where I care less about them giving us exactly what's in the game, and more about... every other possible scrap of TLOU content. I'm here for the expansions from cannon (super looking forward to the episode about Bill and Frank). I'm here for aspects of the game world getting clarified. I'm here for little niggling issues I've had with the game getting dealt with.

(This is why I'm on board with the tendrils as a means of infection. Getting infected via a bite is fine for a zombie movie, but if they're saying it's transmitted through blood/saliva contact, how can anyone shoot an infected and not worry about getting any blood in their mouth or eyes or something? There may be a real explanation for all that, but for me the idea that an infected has to actually do something to a person makes it more believable. Also it gives a reason why some people are infected by zombies and some people just killed.)

Anyway, yeah I'm hungry for more. I'm glad Neil Druckman is staying in this world. My biggest questions about TLOU come as a result of the stories being so isolated and linear--if something doesn't happen to Joel or Ellie or Abbey, we don't see it happen. I can't wait to see more expansions, more stories from this universe.

Also, for the record, the game "easter eggs" that I freaked out over weren't the shot-for-shot, line-for-line references. (Though I'm so happy they kept the twelve year old girl saying she sells hardcore drugs.) What made me shout and point at the screen were the references to the literal gameplay. Joel using a pipe wrench as a weapon, a rag and an alcohol bottle being used to patch up Tess' wounds, a pair of scissors on a table, the flashlight scenes. The second somebody uses a brick or a bottle to stun an enemy, I'm probably going to cry.

This is the most hyped I've been about anything in a very long time.

[mayhem-ensues]

So I finished Scarlet Blaze

I powered through the story in three days and can now look forward to enjoying the other two routes at a normal pace now that my Black Eagles obsession has been satiated.

There’s a lot to love about the story, but there’s also some really baffling decisions in there that drag things down a little bit. The story starts really strong and maintains that until just before the endgame and then things peter down from there instead of building to a satisfying climax. That being said I will admit that I was mostly just happy to have another full story featuring Edelgard and the rest of the Eagles and I’d say the amount of good content in here easily outweighs the bad content.

Anyway I've written some general, not too in-depth thoughts on the story beneath the spoiler tag and can answer questions if people have any.

To start with the things I really liked here I would say that there are three things I can think of that Three Hopes definitely did better than Three Houses and they’re all mostly related to the fact that Fodlan feels much more like a fully realized world in Three than it does in Houses.

The first big thing is that there are a lot more scenes that show what Dimitri and the Lions + Claude and the Deer are doing during the story and how they're reacting to what's going on. This does so much to make the story feel like it's actually taking place in a living world as opposed to Three Houses, where you get one or two scenes with the other characters and the rest of it is just Byleth + your chosen house steamrolling through the world with minimal challenge. One of my favourite parts about the story was actually seeing Dimitri, Felix and Sylvain reacting too and discussing the fact that we killed Ingrid and seeing how it affected them emotionally. That's the kind of thing that was really missing from every route in Three Houses.

The second is that the game does a much better job at showing the nuances of the political situation. So in Three Houses for example, you're just told in Crimson Flower that Count Gloucester is willing to bend the knee and you don't get any more information than that. In Scarlet Blaze you get several good scenes showing Gloucester talking the situation out with Lorenz, which is not only good character stuff, it's also good world building that makes the Alliance feel much more real than it did in Three Houses. You get similar scenes showing why different Kingdom nobles would side with or against Edelgard, and of course chapters dedicated to showing the situation inside the Empire with much greater nuance than in Three Houses.

The third is that the game is much better at allowing characters other than Byleth and the chosen Lord to be plot important. I was so delighted to see Ferdinand step into a much more major role in the story and even get his own cutscene during the chapter where his father stages a rebellion with the help of the Slithers. So I think all three of those factors come together to really help sell Fodlan as a setting more than Three Houses did. After this game I’d say Fodlan is easily the most in-depth, fully fleshed out settings that Fire Emblem has ever had. Only Tellius really comes close in my opinion.

The first of which is that Rhea was still really underutilized. After the demo came out, I said one of the big things I wanted from this route was for the game to have an actual dynamic between Rhea and Edelgard and sadly the game did not deliver on that front. After you take Garreg Mach, Rhea disappears from the story until it’s time for her to show up to be the final boss. Big disappointment there.

Speaking of characters who are underutilized, the lack of attention given to Byleth in this story is criminal. They are meant to have the whole rivalry thing going on with Shez but they barely show up in the story and when they do they aren’t handled particularly well. Like, the Enlightened One transformation just happens out of nowhere with zero explanation and the only follow up on it is a conversation between Sothis and Byleth wherein Sothis acts like a completely different person than she was in Three Houses. I will say though, that their support with Jeralt is really cute. Seriously one of my favorite support conversations in the game and that’s saying something cause this game has a lot of good supports.

Another thing I didn’t really care for was Shez as the main character. Thinking of them just as a character I like Shez well enough but they simply don’t work in the protagonist role. I might make a separate post on this entirely later because I have a lot of thoughts on this and I don’t want to balloon the length of this post too much.

Also the Arval plot is a massive disappointment that really hurts the pacing of the story, and doesn’t do a good job of explaining anything that is happening in it. 

And of course, the biggest problem with this game’s story is for some reason the exact same thing that was the biggest problem with Crimson Flower’s story. For some reason, for the 2nd game in a row they decided to end Edelgard’s route with major plot threads left unresolved and we don’t even get an epic cutscene to make up for it this time. Like at least with Crimson Flower we had the iconic Edeleth heartbeat cutscene, in Scarlet Blaze Rhea and Thales just fall off a bridge and that’s it. I’d imagine this is either they’re way of selling DLC or a clumsy effort to not invalidate the story in Three Houses.

So to sum up, the story is mostly enjoyable with a lot of messiness though. So exactly like Three Houses really.

[platformerprojectfm]

A very very long catch-up blog post

So I missed the day after EGX after getting sick at the event, this caused me to lose ALL of my rhythm and pretty much stop doing work as my motivation was shot too. My fault but here is my big long catch-up post to post everything I've been working on (through the hours of 12-5am every night). As of writing this it is 19/10/23 on the last day of the project, and i've been awake since 12am trying to do college work.

SECTION 1: ART PAIN

I can not stress enough how much I HATE doing art, it pains me so much because I'm not too much of a creative type, but we ball anyway. I've been doing ALOT of asset making (for my standards) Finishing up a tent as a "win zone", a few extra blocks to make corners look less weird and an animation for throwing a vial, which is my new form of score and ammo and a bit more.

this looks weird, but trust me when i say it works in-game,there will be videos further on showcasing it :)

This was my third tilemap, it's pretty simple but was necessary for a win-area, here is also my updated 2nd tilemap, now with a few extra things.

Overall i'm pretty happy how these came out, I have the artistic skills of a 6 year old usually.

SECTION 2: PROJECTILES, ANIMATION AND BLUEPRINTS

I don't really know how to explain this here, so i'm just going to send screenshots of my code with small explanations. A) Projectile go whoooosh

A projectile movement is added so the projectile can move, it contains this code to make it be destroyed after impact or some time.

B) Animations and projectiles.

This is the meaty part that took most of my time, i rewrote a good portion of my score system since it was stored inside of the level, when it was also ammo so it had to be stored inside of the player. I made an integer called "vials" in the player to track ammo. This meant i had to update it from casting from the level to the player in the UI, so it got the accurate number of vials to display on screen. Here is the code for the new vials ammo block, which is what you pick up to get ammo

I wanted to make a throwable that has an animation, because I thought it was a bit weird that i'll just fly out of my character's front, so here is the code for it.

I'm pretty proud of it to be honest, the code detects if there's any vials before playing an animation, and if there are vials then it updates the "throwing" boolean variable which is used to pause all other animations until the vial is thrown (apart from the death animation which overrides the throwing animation), this then plays the animation with a small delay to make it look like the character is throwing the vial.

This is my updated animations code, the branch that is circled is the one that denies any animations playing if the "throwing?" boolean is yes. This was really fun to figure out overall, I think my programming experience from last year in college helped alot since I end up having the same thought process I had in that class to overcoming problems, which I think helps make more efficient outcomes.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3119

today i got the big floofy crumbly bandage off of my shoulder. it was replaced with smaller bandaids that can be replaced and/or covered for showering. i'm excited that i'll be able to shower. i've been using the ol' sponge bath technique and getting water everywhere because my control with my left hand is Admittedly Not The Best. however, at this point, my left hand writing, while still awkward, is more legible than my right hand writing. fucking wild.

today i got lunch with my papa and my seester and her husband. we got indian food, and me and my apparently hollow legs filled every last crevice with delicious food. my sister was very helpful as i tried to cut up and serve myself food, and she was there with a helpful knife to push things onto my fork when the samosa wasn't cooperating. she's the best sister i could ask for, and then some.

also in my sleeplessness last night i realized i could wear a sports bra and not have it interfere with my shoulder at all. so that's what i wore today, and it worked brilliantly.

i told my sister the story from my surgery day about waking up and eating the goldfish. she was laughing so hard in the car but she had to stifle it because papa was talking and it was the funniest thing.

also in the car dad asked if we knew what a pyrrhic victory was, and i, having never heard of this thing before, said no. my sister, about a minute into his explanation gives me the tldr of "it's when you win a fight but the cost was so great it would've been better if you'd lost." and i was like "oh i know this one, i got a meme for this." and i pull up this.

because let's be real, each of the blocks are like

here is battle plan

battle plan is VERY good

we are having much success

oh no

of course these are to be read with gru's accent.

she shrugged and nodded. so i did get it right. i'm glad my brain of memes can make things relatable.

anyway, because i know it's friday i texted joel and said hello because i love him and i miss him. i want to figure out when i can see him next. i might be able to go to game on sunday. it depends.

i also helped my mom with some genealogy organization and problem solving. i'm glad i have function of my brain back, because it's because of me that my mom was able to find several people she needed to look for. and a suspicion i held early on despite a lack of evidence turned out to be correct and proved in a few documented places.

i'm good at analysis. i'm good at solving problems. i'm really good with following my intuition and getting answers that are hard to find. i can think inside, outside, and around every box you can throw at me. i literally should be making significantly more money than $20 an hour. i should be paid around $60 an hour, full time. i don't want to say my talents are wasted in education, but i am not being utilized to anywhere near my potential, not by any means. and it's frustrating, because i want that change. i'm not entirely ready for it, but i am neither getting any younger nor am i getting any more experience not in my field, and i want to fix that. it's highly annoying and all i want is a good paying job where i can prove myself to myself and make good on the promises i've made over the years.

anyway, i was pretty damn busy most of the day. i realize i haven't pulled out my laptop since i've been home, but that's because (1) sleepy, (2) tired, (3) busy, and (4) laptop heavy. i should probably get a smaller laptop, but i just put a bunch of stickers on my laptop and i don't wanna stick and ditch. these stickers cost me good money. i wanna wear 'em out.

and i guess that's all for today. i'm so tired.

[helloalycia]

my patient’s neighbour [one] // wanda maximoff

summary: whilst caring for a new patient of yours, you definitely didn't expect to fall for her cute neighbour, Wanda Maximoff

warning/s: very minor mentions of injuries and death

author's note: okay so firstly, buckle in, folks, this is gonna be like 6 parts long lol. Also, I google translated all the Russian bits so i apologise if they are incorrect! okay, you may enjoy now :)

part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | masterlist | wattpad

"38... 38... 38..."

I scanned the doors to the many apartments in the hall, hoping to find the one that belonged to my newest patient – Anna Pivec. As a nurse, I was always given new patients to visit and tend to until they no longer needed it or chose not to have me around. I'd just been assigned a new patient, Anna, and was excited to meet her.

"38!" I said to myself, spotting the door at the end of the hallway. I knocked on before waiting patiently, hoping she wasn't sleeping or anything. It wasn't too early – 10AM – and she knew I was coming, so finger's crossed.

The door opened to reveal a short, old lady with grey hair and a cane in her hand. I smiled kindly, meeting her cloudy gaze.

"You must be the one my granddaughter is paying to look after me because she can't do it herself," the woman spoke before I could introduce myself. Stepping to the side, she motioned with her cane. "Come on in."

My smile dropped at her abruptness. "I, er, yeah, I guess that's me." As I walked in, I said, "My name is Y/N Y/L/N. The nurse from–"

"Yeah, I know where you're from," she cut me off, closing the door and heading further into her apartment. "They sent me a brochure, milaya."

I followed after her, surprised at how quick she was for an old lady with back and heart problems. She was leading me into the open plan living-room and kitchen.

"I'm sorry – milaya? What does that mean?" I asked politely, hoping I didn't come across as rude.

She waved her hand dismissively, mumbling something to herself in what I think was Russian. Her profile did say she was from Sokovia, so maybe that was it.

"Okay, erm, well, as I said," I changed the subject, figuring she wouldn't give me an answer, "I'm Y/N. I'll be here five times a week and basically be doing anything you need me to do. Of course, I only want you to be comfortable in your own home, so if you ever feel anything but, please let me know."

She hummed in acknowledgement before motioning for me to follow her. I set my bag on the kitchen counter before sitting on the couch as she did so on the recliner. She sighed with content as the pain on her back was eased from taking a seat.

"Tell me about yourself," she said gently.

I smiled with amusement. "That's usually what I ask my patients."

"Do forgive me, milaya," she said, and I made a mental note to bring a Russian-English dictionary with me tomorrow, "but you're a stranger in my home. I'd prefer to know about you before I let you take care of me."

I nodded, slightly impressed. Her profile didn't do her justice. Usually, the elderly I cared for were quick to allow me to do my thing, never really questioning who I was or what my intentions were. I was starting to get the impression that Anna was a strong, stubborn woman in a little old lady's body – definitely not one to mess around with.

"Okay, well, I'm a nurse," I began with the basics, and from there, went into a long ramble about my job, how I got into it, what it consisted of...

Anna was full of questions, taking the time to get to know me and I her. Once I had told her everything I could think to, she told me about her life. How she lived in Sokovia up until she was thirty-five years old and had to flee with her husband and daughter because of the war. She gushed about the both of them, a twinkle in her eye as she recalled their livelihoods like they were still alive. Her husband had unfortunately passed many years ago due to liver problems – "All that drinking, milaya! Us Sokovians are a force to be reckoned with!" – and her daughter had passed in a car accident not long after.

It was a tragic tale, but she didn't let it bring her down. In fact, she seemed grateful to have lived it and I couldn't help but smile as she shared it with me.

I noticed she would speak short phrases in Russian mid-conversation, without realising, which didn't make it easier for me to understand, but I couldn't bring it in myself to interrupt her to ask what they meant because she said it with such sincerity that I figured it reminded her of her home.

After our conversation, I made her lunch and gave her her medication before watching some TV with her and pretty much talking to her once again. She was quite an interesting woman, different to my usual patients, and I was enjoying our time together. After spending the day there, I wished her a good night before leaving.

When I returned the next morning, I let myself in with the key Anna gave me and called out a good morning.

"In here!" an unfamiliar female voice called out.

I furrowed my brows as I took off my jacket and headed into the living-area. Anna was sat in her recliner as usual, but she had a guest sat on her couch. A young woman, possibly my age, with long dark hair and a friendly smile on her lips was sat comfortably; she had a cup of tea in her hands and her legs pulled up on the couch like she lived there.

The stranger and Anna exchanged words in Russian briefly before the former stood up, about to introduce herself.

"Oh, are you her granddaughter?" I asked, putting two and two together. It was the only explanation I could think of for how comfortable she was and the fact that she was also Sokovian (I assumed, anyway).

The girl laughed, her green eyes sparkling as she shook her head. Putting out her hand, she said, "I'm Wanda Maximoff. Anna's neighbour."

Slightly embarrassed by my mistake, I smiled awkwardly and shook her hand. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have– I just thought because you were speaking Russian that–"

"It's fine, no harm no foul," she put me at ease quickly, before taking her seat again. "I've lived next door to Anna for about a year now. Sometimes I keep her company on my days off."

I set my bag on the floor before taking a seat on the couch, leaving a gap between Wanda and I.

"That's nice," I said with a smile before looking to Anna. "How are you feeling this morning, Mrs Pivec?"

She sighed, waving her hand dismissively, before saying something to Wanda in Russian who was listening intently. Nodding her head, Wanda looked to me with amusement.

"What did she say?" I asked, quirking a brow.

"She said she told you to stop calling her Mrs Pivec yesterday," Wanda translated, trying not to laugh.

"Just call me Anna, Y/N," Anna added with a nod. "And I'm fine. Just had breakfast with Wanda here."

"Breakfast," I repeated slowly. "How long ago was that? Just gotta make sure you get your meds."

"Shoot, am I doing your job?" Wanda asked, slightly panicked.

"No, no, you're not." I laughed at the way she scrunched her nose. "I mean, it would help if I could have breakfast with Miss– Anna, so I know when she has her medication. But it's all good."

"Are you sure? I can leave if I'm in the way," Wanda said with a frown.

"No need," I reassured her. "If Anna doesn't mind your presence, it's all good. I'm just here to look after her, clean up, make sure she eats, has her meds."

Wanda looked to Anna, who seemed unbothered by her presence.

"She can stay," Anna said with a shrug. "Makes it feel less like I'm a pet."

I opened my mouth to say something, possibly make her feel better, but I wasn't sure what to say.

"Don't mind her," Wanda reassured, giving Anna a knowing look before shooting me an easygoing smile. "She tends to speak her mind exactly as it is. No filter whatsoever. And very stubborn. You may have noticed."

I cracked a smile, feeling better knowing that it wasn't just me who noticed Anna's unique personality traits.

"Hey, that stubbornness and lack of filter is exactly how I beat my husband and his friends in every poker game back home," Anna said with a playful smirk.

Wanda and I chuckled, before the brunette leaned on the couch comfortably and looked to me.

"We finished breakfast, maybe, ten minutes ago? I made us eggs and toast," she answered my question from earlier.

I hummed before getting up with my bag and heading to the kitchen. Setting my bag on the counter, I grabbed my diary and also Anna's medication from its place on the kitchen counter.

"I'll give you your medicine now, Anna," I told her, already grabbing a glass of water for her.

"Thank you, milaya," she called back, and I spun around, immediately going to get my Russian-English dictionary from my bag. "Wait, I know what that is!" I flicked through the pages and scanned it eagerly. "Milaya... milaya... milaya! Okay, it means... sweetie."

"Sweetie," Wanda said at the same time, and I looked up to see her watching me from behind her cup of tea, trying not to laugh again.

"I guess another perk of your presence is being the translator," I said sheepishly, realising just how eager I was a second ago. "Anna likes to speak Russian a lot, which I'm fine with of course, but..." I waved the dictionary in the air.

"It's funny watching tvoye lichiko, milaya," Anna said with that same mischievous smirk on her face.

I looked down to my dictionary, struggling to pinpoint a single word in her sentence that I could search. It was overwhelming, the words going in one ear and out the other.

"She said it's funny watching your little face, sweetie," Wanda translated upon seeing my frozen state.

I relaxed my shoulders. "Thanks." Then I realised what she said. "Hey!"

Anna laughed as Wanda grinned, and I was suddenly glad she was here. I grabbed Anna's meds with a glass of water before giving them to her. After making sure she swallowed them properly, I put the glass to the side and took a seat on the couch again.

"So, you said you visited Anna on your days off?" I asked Wanda, intrigued by why a neighbour would be so interested in another. It wasn't very common in today's day and age.

"She's almost always here," Anna answered before Wanda could speak. I looked to her as she continued with a grateful smile. "Helps me with everything. Groceries, cleaning, my medication."

"So basically me but unpaid," I joked, and Anna laughed.

"Exactly," she agreed, and I looked to Wanda to see her blushing, eyes avoiding mine.

"That's really sweet," I said gently, earning her attention. "You're a really good neighbour, Wanda."

Wanda ran a hand through her hair. "It's nothing. If anything, I enjoy being here. Anna reminds me of Sokovia and my family and, well, home."

"Oh, so you're Sokovian, too?"

She nodded before smiling playfully. "Did the accent not give it away?"

I hid a smile. "I didn't want to assume. I mean, you could've been Czech. Slovakian. Basically anything else."

"Okay, I'll give you that," she gave in, tilting her head to the side, smile widening.

It was then that I learnt her smile was extremely contagious.

Same as yesterday, my plan was to stay the day with Anna, though this time Wanda also kept her company (and me, too). After lunch, I left the two of them to watch some TV as I excused myself to change Anna's bedsheets in her room, ready for bed tonight.

As I was doing so, I heard the door open and glanced over my shoulder to see Wanda entering the room. I gave her a smile before continuing to replace the pillowcase.

"Here, I can help," she offered, and didn't give me chance to decline as she grabbed the pillow on the other side of the bed and began to change its case.

"You sure? You know it's my job, right?" I teased, looking up at her over the bed between us.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm aware. Just thought I'd make it a bit easier for you."

I chuckled. "Well, I appreciate it... how is Anna?"

"Dozed off," Wanda quipped with an expectant nod. "Same time every day. Like clockwork."

"Huh." I thought back to yesterday and how she ended up taking a nap after lunch, too. "Noted. Thanks."

Wanda smiled before putting the pillowcase on the pillow and puffing it with her hands. I did the same, content with its appearance, before moving to the duvet. Wordlessly, Wanda grabbed one end and began to help me put it on, which I appreciated. The duvet was bigger than I was and definitely a two-person job.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I spoke out of the blue as we were putting on the duvet cover.

"Go for it," she said encouragingly, glancing sideways.

"Of course, you don't have to answer, but I thought I'd ask since I'm going to be looking after Anna for a while," I gave a little disclaimer, before saying, "She makes a lot of snide remarks about her granddaughter. Do they not get along?"

Wanda sighed quietly. "Her granddaughter doesn't really visit her here. She rarely calls."

"Her daughter's kid?"

"The only one," Wanda confirmed. "She keeps her distance, ever since her mum – Anna's daughter – passed. She just pays for, well, you."

I frowned. "That's sad."

"Yeah," Wanda agreed, breathing out.

The two of us spread the duvet over the double bed before I looked to her with a small smile.

"At least she has you," I pointed out. "It's nice you give up your free time to spend it with her."

"Like I said, it's good for me, too," she reminded me, returning the smile.

"So what do you do when you're not here keeping her company?" I asked curiously, moving to Anna's bedside to clear it up a little.

Wanda hid her smile behind a look of confusion. "Do you not– don't you recognise me?"

I quirked a brow, pausing my actions. "Am I supposed to?"

She snickered, shaking her head, eyes falling to the bed with mild disbelief. "I mean, I guess not. I'm–" She chuckled, looking to my confused face. "I'm one of the Avengers."

I studied her, her words not quite settling in. But when they did, I realised I actually recognised her and she was one of the Avengers.

"Oh my God!" I blurted, the penny finally dropping. "The one with the weird red energy powers! I mean– not weird but– the magic!"

She stifled laughter, nodding her head. Just like her smile, her laughter was contagious, too.

"Yeah, that's me," she confirmed.

I made a weird motion with my free hand, like I'd seen her do on TV when saving the day. "Does Anna know about your y'know?"

Wanda crossed her arms, raising a brow and watching me with a humoured gaze. "Is that supposed to be my powers?"

I stopped making the motion and felt my neck heating up. "I– yeah."

Laughter spilled from her lips yet again, automatically making me smile. I didn't mind that I'd made a fool of myself all of a sudden.

"Anna knows, yes," Wanda said with a bright smile. "She actually recognised me straight away. Much quicker than you. And she's eighty."

Waving my hand to distract from my flushed cheeks, I said, "Pfft, she probably confused you with someone else and played along when you told her who you were."

"Yeah, I'm sure that was it, ty milyy maneken," she retorted with her piercing gaze.

"No fair, my dictionary is in the other room," I said with a pout, and she only laughed even more.

"Guess you'll never know," she teased with a smirk, making me roll my eyes to distract from the way it made me feel when she stared at me like that.

It was much later on when I learnt that she had called me 'a cute dummy'. And that was the beautiful start to Wanda and I's introduction into each other's lives.

—

From then onwards, about eighty percent of the time I would go to care for Anna, Wanda was present, too and I didn't mind one bit. Not only did she keep Anna company, but she made my job a lot easier whilst keeping me company as well.

I was beginning to look forward to seeing her whenever I would open the door. Whether she was cleaning something up, playing board games with Anna or simply having a tidy up around the apartment, she'd always stop what she was doing and help me with whatever was in my hands as she greeted me at the door. It was adorable. She was adorable.

The few times she wasn't present because of work only made me miss her, the apartment feeling emptier than usual. Even Anna agreed, the two of us making up for the lack of the Sokovian girl's presence by distracting ourselves with other activities.

I was convinced Anna was warming up to me as she freely let me care for her without resistance. Obviously, she wouldn't be Anna if she didn't throw funny remarks my way or speak to me in Russian, knowing I didn't understand her, but it was tolerable. And I was liking her, too; she was easily becoming one of the best patients I cared for. There was just so much personality to her that I couldn't help but smile whenever I spoke to her.

One time, I was helping Anna out at her place when Wanda wasn't present. I was leading her into her bed when I decided now was a better time than ever to ask her about her birthday on Sunday, which I knew was then because of her file.

"So, I'll be seeing you in two days next," I told her as I pulled the duvet over her. "And a little birdie told me it's your birthday then. Eighty-one, Anna! That's amazing!"

She smiled but seemed embarrassed that I knew.

"Tell me what you want and I can make it happen," I said promisingly, smiling down at her.

She waved her hand. "I don't want anything, milaya (sweetie). Your presence is enough."

I chuckled. "As sweet as that is, I know everybody wants something for their birthday. Now please, Anna. What can I do to make the day a bit more special?"

She pondered my question momentarily and I waited for her to speak, hoping it was something doable.

"I would love to have a traditional Sokovian meal," she said reluctantly. "It's been a long time."

I breathed out quietly, patting her hand gently. "I can do that, Anna. Don't you worry."

She smiled genuinely, before shooing me away. "Okay, enough sappiness, ty mozhesh' uyti seychas (you can leave now)."

I laughed, standing up and dusting my pants off. I only knew what that phrase meant because she said it almost every time before my shift ended and I left for the day. I knew she didn't mean it as harshly as it sounded.

"I'm going, I'm going," I said, already heading to the door. "I'll see you Sunday, birthday girl."

She groaned quietly, making me grin, before I double checked everything was okay in the living-area and grabbed my stuff to leave.

As easy of a request that it was, I knew absolutely nothing about cooking a traditional Sokovian meal. But I knew of one person who did and instantly headed to Wanda's apartment next door to see if she was home.

With a quick knock, I waited patiently. I wasn't sure if she was even home since she hadn't visited Anna today and she usually did so if she was. When I was beginning to think she wasn't, I told myself I could Google a recipe and put something together, but then the door opened and revealed a tired-looking Wanda.

"Y/N," she said with surprise, but a friendly smile was on her lips nonetheless.

"Hey, I'm so sorry to disturb you this late, but I wanted to ask– wait, what happened to your face?" I stopped speaking and lost my own smile when I noticed the faint scratches and bruises dusting her skin.

"Oh, it's nothing–" she started, raising her hand, fingers wavering over her head, but I cut her off.

"Shit, Wanda, what happened?" I reached out, taking her hand in mine and studying the cast that was around her wrist. Concerned frown on my lips, I glanced up at her. "Are you okay?"

"It's fine, Y/N," she tried to reassure, but I couldn't help it as my worry got the better of me and I studied the cuts on her cheek. "I just came back from a mission. Minor injuries. Honestly."

I let go of her hand, realising I was still holding it, and nodded slightly. "Right..." Realising she must have been exhausted, I awkwardly stepped back and shook my head with realisation. "Sorry, I should go. I didn't mean to bot–"

"You were saying something," she interrupted, nodding encouragingly. "You wanted to ask me something. What is it?"

I paused, nodding. Admittedly, I was still worried about the bruises on her forehead. I knew she was an Avenger and this was probably the norm for her, but to me, it looked like she'd just got mugged. And the irregularity of that worried me.

"Yeah, I was saying," I finally found my words, trying to ignore the way her tired eyes peered at me hopefully. "It's Anna's birthday on Sunday and she wants to have a traditional Sokovian meal to celebrate. The only problem is, I don't know what that is." Wanda cracked a smile as I continued. "Do you, maybe, have a recipe I could use?"

"Of course," she said before motioning for me to follow her. "Come on in."

I followed after her, closing the door behind me, and stopped at the kitchen counter patiently. As she searched for a notebook in her drawer, I subtly glanced around, taking in the inside of Wanda's apartment. I'd never actually been in it before, but the minimal décor was very her. She didn't have many knickknacks and everything on display served a purpose.

"There's some recipes in here," she said, grabbing my attention. She slid the notebook across the counter and leaned forward with a smile. "Take your pick."

I flicked through it briefly, smiling at the notebook filled with recipes, all in Wanda's neat, cursive handwriting.

"Thank you," I said gratefully, looking up and catching her staring.

She perked up, clearing her throat as she nodded in response before looking the other way. Cute.

"Are you working on Sunday?" I asked with a raised brow, before rolling my eyes playfully. "What am I saying? Of course you're not. Not with that wrist."

She chuckled, still avoiding my eyes. "I'm not."

"Well, why don't you come over for her birthday? You can help me cook her a meal. Or rather, I can help you cook it since I'll probably screw it up."

Finally meeting my eyes, she smiled with amusement. "Are you sure?"

I gave her a knowing look, ignoring the butterflies swirling in my stomach as she held my gaze with her intense dark eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. Anna will love to celebrate with you. And..." I pursed my lips, taking a leap of faith and adding, "and I'd love it, too."

Wanda let out a quiet laugh. "You would, would you?"

I straightened up, smile widening. "Yeah, I would."

She tilted her head, studying me with a curious smile. "Well then, I clearly can't say no."

Something stirred in my chest the longer she watched me and I oddly liked it. It was obvious that Wanda was a beautiful girl with a heart of gold, but I guess I hadn't really acknowledged that I may have had feelings for her until now. And I didn't mind one bit.

"Great," I finally found my words, nodding slightly. "I'll see you Sunday."

She mirrored my expression, saying, "See you Sunday," and I knew I couldn't wait until then.

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis

for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down

note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this

zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.

team hcs

nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason

nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him

he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them

unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back

zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.

also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes

oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.

allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that

he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case

(nash knows anyway)

they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc

they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.

yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”

they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates

then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock

half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them

i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes

nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight

and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].

(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)

you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”

imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”

in short, the team would fall apart without nash.

although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart

they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap

team bbqs

unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped

however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it

more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc

more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep

do you see a correlation?

oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl

nash has absolutely no shame

he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them

usually it involves not having come to practice

allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them

that said, one of those words was hentai

and now a quick analysis of some panels

a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?

b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)

earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.

another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)

just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.

yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)

i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.

here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.

when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".

there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:

nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.

he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.

result was he was kicked out of the program.

only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.

then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.

[ofcowardiceandkings]

I've seen you reference story implications in the sequel to BOTW a few times but I can't find an explanation and I'm still not sure what you mean 😖

not to worry being a vague mess is one of my fortés lol

im gonna get mad english-class serious a second because i need it to explain my shit hold on to yer horses lads this is gonna get long and over the top im SO SORRY in advance ..........

what i generally mean is if we take every interaction in BotW as if it had actually happened, not in the details minutiae sense like if you felt like Link would be nice to Bozai or want to spin kick him in the head way, but if Nintendo included an interaction or lore then it happened at some point or was learned way (the correct answer is spin kick though), then Link would know a LOT of very personal thoughts and feelings from a LOT of people.

to be fair, most of said people have passed away by this point in the story BUT more to the point Zelda is still very much alive and is also in some kind of tenuous contact with Link throughout the course of the game via Spooky Voice On The Winds just for good measure

regardless of what opinion you come away with of Link's own emotions - original Japanese text adventure log and player point-of-contact poker-face not withstanding - it is 100% canonical that Zelda had a thing for Link before the Calamity after they got to actually interacting and understanding each other. even if you wanna side-eye the construction of the story told by "Captured Memories" to be at LEAST a little romantically orientated (which in my opinion is a dubious stance to take given how typical storytelling structure works), what Kass has to say about the whole thing is explicitly textual, if only through secondhand information (although i will say a court poet seems like a sound bet in terms of reading people and especially if the person youre reading is a teenager with no concept of not wearing her heart on her sleeve and Small Emotions). trying to ignore ALL of that and - to be honest - what the latest batch of writing team has been doing since Skyward Sword isnt so much "reading the subtext/story wrong" as it is willfully ignoring it lol

not that im saying thats a bad thing, i also ignore chunks or details of stories i dislike because "fuck that im having fun" but i can also acknowledge that whatever im ignoring did in fact happen even if i think its stupid ... anyway

and the only reason i think this is a train of thought less-travelled is purely due to how HUGE BotW is, theres a LOT of stuff .. like i hang out with friends mostly playing BotW on twitch every day and we all learn things constantly. if you dont go hard for the lore and story you miss it, thats the nature of storytelling in the way BotW went about it

like i said, it's kind of dependent on what content is to be taken as having ACTUALLY happened. the only thing that isnt up for debate is that he regained all of the main-game memories since that's how you get the "true"/full ending. but did Link really read those diaries, did he really have that chat with Kass in Rito Village, is The Champion's Ballad lore going to be carried over,, that sort of thing. in my opinion? yes, because more solidly Nintendo included it for a reason no matter of what percentage of players found it, but in an off-shoot opinion if i was trying to regain my lost memories i'd give ANYTHING a chance of getting them back even if it meant the awkwardness of reading my long-gone friends diaries 🤷‍♂️

basically, what i mean when i have a meltdown over "the plot implications of BotW on BotW2" is im extremely curious to see how Nintendo handle 1) Zelda's established feelings towards Link (assuming they still exist, which i think we have reason to believe they do) and 2) Link quite possibly KNOWING about it. oh and them not existing in an extremely rigid class-driven society anymore.

i dunno about you - or the writing team for that matter - but if i was made aware that a pretty and smart person who i used to be around a lot had a thing for me i would be going out of my MIND lmfao

while their dynamic in past games has been quite developed or had romantic overtones before, BotW is by FAR the most complex understanding of them with the most information given to the player about how their characters grow from more than one angle. like having known each other for some time, general depictions of them existing around each other, visible emoting around the others' circumstances .. these things have happened before but not in such a huge combination. oh AND an abject change in their relationship after having come to some kind of understanding, which is definitely new, let alone that understanding happening OFF SCREEN.

i'll stop now before i actually write a full essay, but lets just say this is even more uncharted territory than Skyward Sword's obvious love story and the "oh and then he was king of hyrule :)" at the end of the original, because like ... its a sequel ... after the fact ..... unresolved

........ yeah

[capri-ramblings]

No one asked for it but I've had scenarios of a Yandere poly-relationship for the First Year Squad for a while now and I just felt like indulging myself for a bit ✨ Hope you all like it as well!

Requests are in the works,both new and old. Your patience is greatly appreciated ❤️.

Warning; Toxic/Unhealthy relationship.

[ A Dent in the Mold ]

Epel looks at you with glistening eyes,his hands clinging onto your arm as he tugs you down into the seat beside him. He smells of lavender and goat's milk and his warmth is the kind that buzzes around you like a cocoon.

"Hands off, shorty!" Ace yells with a frown,his red brows furrowed as he takes up the empty space beside you. His hand comes up to swat Epel's away from you but misses when Epel swiftly evades him.

"Why? It's not like I'm taking up any of your space, and plus, who are you to tell me where to put my hands anyway?". The sneer that came onto Epel's face then bellied his soft features, and at a glance from someone outside the circle it may look like a boyish banter between two friends, but from where you sat trapped in-between them, the glower of possessiveness and envy didn't seem to miss either one of their gazes.

"Stop making a scene you two. Can't you see you're making them uncomfortable?", it was Jack who came by then, along with Deuce and Sebek. His sharp gaze almost immediately landed on you, a tinge of irritation encircling the ring of his pupils at the sight of how close you were to Epel.

You would've told him that it was against your own will, that despite his small stature Epel had a grip of an iron maiden set aflame to fix you in place and eat away at your flesh the more resistance you gave him. But you knew better than that. Dismissing Epel meant giving him an opportunity to punish you later.

Then again you also knew Jack was the most possessive of the group. Your explanation would have fell on deaf ears anyways.

"It's fine." You murmured, quickly before feigning a smile. It did no good to have them fight after all. You'd barely be able to handle them if they decided to turn against one another.

"What did you get for lunch?" You directed the question towards all three newcomers. Jack remaining his stiff expression while Deuce and Sebek beamed at your acknowledgement of them.

"They ran out of egg dishes for today but I bought you and I some sandwiches to eat together!" Deuce took out the sandwich he mentioned and immediately handed it to you, his teal coloured eyes tinting a slightly shy shade of blue as he raked your figure.

You returned his gesture with a smile of your own, somewhat grateful you weren't stuck with just Epel and Ace. Though the small act alone made the other four send death glares towards Deuce who still seemed dazed from your attention.

"Sandwiches aren't really nutritious you know, Deuce." Sebek pointed out with a frown before sliding a bottle of herbal tea in your direction. "Here,to wash away the leftovers".

He seemed so pleased with himself when you took the bottle and nodded your head, so satisfied that you were willing to take what he'd given you. It made the rest of the boys coil with annoyance. The kind that seemed to seethe and boil to a frightening degree.

But of course,to every other student watching, you were all nothing more than a group of first years conversing with one another.

And thus, your days at NRC repeated itself as if on loop. Trapped between the clutches of boys who would degrade anyone that dared interfered in their game of house with you.

Twisted and erratic, the unsettling delusion that you belonged to no one other than themselves grew apparent with each passing day.

General Headcanons

- Epel and Ace are the most clingy. They're always the first to latch themselves onto you like some sort of extra appendix.

- They make up the part of the group who watches who you interact with and keep track of where you go since they rarely ever leave you alone.

- Epel clings to you the most though and makes it close to impossible to shake him off without people asking you why you'd leave your meak-looking friend all alone.

- Ace is a bit more laid back but being easily jealous, he's quick to make a situation awkward for anyone he thinks is taking up too much of your time. Things like slinging his arm over your shoulders or making fun of you is his way of telling people you're his as opposed to Epel who leaves small, bright hickeys on places that are easily seen then pointing them out later as if he didn't know where they came from in the first place.

- Jack is quiet and stiff, but being a wolf, he's the most possessive in the group. He plays the part of the pact leader in the sense that he's always the one coming in between fights within the group and keeping you sane.

- He likes having you near him and makes you wear one of his wristbands so it's easier to find you and because he gets off on the fact that his scent is on you.

- Sebek and Deuce are the salves in the group. Since their possessive levels depends on their mood, which is always on the upside as long as you remember to flash them a smile and give them your attention, they're less likely to lash out on you or cause any great harm.

- However, once you get them on their bad side,these two won't hesitate to corner you together.

- Sebek's natural intimidation as a Fae will leave you unable to form words while Deuce's harshness leaves you a trembling mess.

- The group functions well together as long as they don't feel like you're favouring one of them and thanks to Jack you're not completely defenceless but there are times when even the loyal wolf enjoys watching you squirm underneath the great pressure of pleasing all five males.

Nsfw [ m i l d ]

- Jack gets to have you the moment school period ends. Deuce and Ace can't afford to spend the night due to Riddle's strict rules and because they can't have people questioning why you're being coddled by these boys too much while Epel and Sebek have their vice dorm heads hovering near them.

- He's always the one to walk you to Ramshackle Dorm and the one who warms your bed at night.

- He isn't overly aggressive when it comes to it but Jack has a tendency to lose control of his strength, watching you beneath him all writhing and crying makes it hard for him not to press you harder against him. The feel of your bare skin touching his drives him crazy, causes his thoughts to stir up this sick fantasy of having your flesh submit to his fangs.

- In the morning it's Ace and Deuce who greets you, Jack will have to be gone before they do to avoid any bitter discourse.

- Deuce's kisses are gentle but lingering, he likes having his hands on your waist as he pulls you closer to him. He gets all hot and bothered when he doesn't let you pull out for air and you let out this small helpless whimper against his lips.

- Ace is cheeky. The first thing he does after you pull away from Deuce is tug on your hair before he dives in for a kiss. Long and messy, Ace nudges open your mouth to let his tongue roam around your cavern without really asking for permission. The way his hands grip you is hard and careless, but when he ends the exchange, he grins and flashes you a wink. Boyish.

- Epel clings to you all throughout recess. His fingers cold and slender as they come in contact with your skin. He sits with you and even eats off the same plate, sharing food is a commodity of his you've learned to get used to but it's the trips before recess ends that always leaves you breathless and worn. He'll make the excuse of wanting to put away his and your plate but afterwards he pulls you into the bathroom and has you kneel in front of him before he slips in two fingers in your mouth and watches with ravenous eyes as you suck on them.

- He'll coo at you with praises and even play with your hair before he leans down and presses his lips against yours. Tongue impatient and hungry. He'll undo your collar and start leaving hickeys until you're whimpering and he sees your eyes swell with tears. He always cleans you up afterwards, spraying some of his cologne as a finishing touch.

- Sebek has you through the last two periods before school ends, and usually it's spent with him teaching you the history of his hometown and having discussions about magic and other various subjects. He isn't really a touchy type but he adores it when you flash him your shy,small smile or when you go through the trouble of adjusting his uniform for him.

- He lets you do whatever you felt like doing as long as he could involve himself in it, but on some days he likes having you play with his hair while he rests his head on your lap.

- All five have agreed on keeping you a virgin, the furthest act of sexual intimacy being oral sex.

- They have it decided that you'll choose who to belong to by the end of the school year.

- As long as they can keep the peace between one another of course.

[fydream]

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a/n: hi yes! another differently formatted chapter! word count is 2.2k, so it’s not that long. also this semi-proof read sorry (meaning i did proof reading and editing while writing it but i didnt give it one last over view.. again, sorry) hope u like it! :D 

You sigh as you swing your legs back and forth from the countertop you were sitting on. Currently, you, Renjun, Chenle, and Jeno were all at Hyuck's house hanging out. Your sigh catches the attention of Renjun which prompts him to ask "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." You say, trying to brush it off.

He furrows his eyebrows. "It's not nothing. If it's bothering you this much why don't we talk about it?"

You pout at him, hoping he'll pick up a sign that you don't want to, but still he insists that you tell him what's wrong.

"Well.." You mumble. "Jisung said he wanted to talk to me tonight.."

"Sorry, what?" Renjun asks. "I didn't hear you."

"Jisung said.. he wanted to meet up to explain everything." You say, a little louder this time.

"Jisung what?!" Renjun exclaims, getting the attention of everyone else in the room.

You sigh in defeat as you watch Jeno tense at the name of his ex-friend.

"What's this about Jisung?" Jeno asks.

"Nothing." You mumble, trying to find something else to talk about.

"No no, it's okay. I won't be upset." Jeno reassures. "What about Jisung?"

"He wanted to clear up a few things with me." You answer, glancing at the clock propped up on Hyuck's kitchen wall.

Donghyuck seems to notice how fast your eyes move and asks "Tonight?"

"Yeah. In like an hour or so actually." You confirm.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Renjun asks you.

"Well.. yeah. I kinda want an explanation."

"Are you sure?" Chenle asks. "Like, one hundred percent sure?"

"Yeah?" You nod, confused on why they seemed so concerned with you meeting up with Jisung again.

"Why?" He asks.

"I literally just told you why." You answer, annoyance prominent in your voice.

"Okay." Chenle says, backing off, hands raised in defense.

"Do you, uh, need a ride?" Donghyuck asks, hoping to clear the air a bit.

"Yeah, sure." You agree, hopping off the kitchen counter. It takes him back a little, he wasn't expecting that kind of response, especially that quickly.

"Oh, uhh, now?" He asks as he watches walk towards his hallway.

"Uh, yeah?" You say as he looks at his two friends and his boyfriend confusingly. They shrug in response. You can hear Chenle say "Hey man, you offered to drive. Not us."

You pause in between the end of the hallway and the entrance to the kitchen to watch the four boys start to quarrel.

"Jeno, you'll come with me, right?" Donghyuck asks and Jeno shoots him a look.

"Are you insane?" Jeno responds. "I don't wanna talk to him."

"You're not going to talk to him. Y/n is."

"Okay, then I don't want to see him."

"Fine." Donghyuck scoffs, before turning his head to look at Renjun and Chenle who were already saying no.

"What are you gonna do?" He asks them.

"We're gonna watch your house. Duh." Chenle responds.

"Actually. They're gonna watch your house." Renjun corrects, pointing at Jeno and Chenle. "I'm going to watch Chenle."

"Whaaat!! That's not fair!" He protests.

"I trust Jeno more than you." Renjun retorts back.

Donghyuck sighs in defeat. "Fine. Just don't do anything stupid." He says, turning to walk towards you and you can see the three boys cheer behind him. It causes you to giggle, and Donghyuck is just happy you're happy.

Once out of his house and into his car he asks you where you're going. You tell him not to worry and that you'll just give him the directions on how to get there. It only worries him more.

"I dunno y/n. It seems kinda sketch."

"Listen I know you don't trust the guy, but you trust me, right?" You ask.

"Yeah.."

"Then trust me, that it'll be okay."

"Okay." He sighs. "You lead the way."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Donghyuck asks as you step out of the passenger seat to his car.

"Yeah. I'm sure." You sigh.

"Okay.. Just. Call me if you need me. I'll be nearby, okay?"

"I'll be fine, Hyuck. Don't worry."

"Whatever you say.." He mumbles before rolling up his window and driving away.

Walking to the only other human like figure around you, you start to wonder if Jisung is really worth your time. Sure you missed the time you spent together, all the hours in the library studying and having stupid debates over the simplest things like, the best ice cream flavor, or how to write the number eight. Yeah you missed it, but was it really worth going back to? You could do these with anyone, even the new friends you've made so far this year. But for some reason, it was different with Jisung.

Maybe it's because you did like him. Or maybe it's because he was really different from your other friends. Yes you love Hyuck, and Renjun, and Chenle to death but it was nice having someone else to talk to, someone who didn't know everything about you, someone you could make different memories with.

"You came.." He says. It's not loud, but it's not quiet either. It's enough to snap you out of your thoughts though.

"Yeah." You nod. "I wanna know.. the truth. And only the truth."

"Do you promise to believe me?" He asks.

You don't respond for a second, you just stare at him with a blank face. You can tell that his eyes are shaky and you can't tell if he's about to cry or not.

"I don't want to make a promise I can't keep."

Needless to say, you could practically feel Jisung's heart shatter.

"Okay." He nods. "Where do you want me to start?"

"I don't know? The beginning?"

"Oh.. Right." He mumbles. "Well um.. You- You see.. It started like- uhm- like."

"So are you gonna tell me or are you just going to keep stalling?"

"Uhh."

"I mean. I can wait, I do have all night for your information." You spit, crossing your arms. "Do you? Or do you have another date planned after this? Y'know, one where you lied to another other girl too?"

"I- What? I don't have another 'date' after this.." He defends. "I've.. I've been alone for the past month and a half.. What are you talking about?"

"So I've heard."

"Look." Jisung sighs, you notice that he looks tired. "I don't wanna fight. Can we just start over?"

"Okay Park Jisung, we can do whatever you want." You scoff. "Hi! I'm y/n l/n, I came to have a conversation. Are we going to have one, or not?"

"You want me to start at the beginning?" He yells. "Fine then! I'll start at the beginning. I'll tell you whatever the fuck you wanna hear!"

"It's true! In the beginning of the school year I was bored and was looking for someone to date. But then I met you! And you were different!"

"Oh yeah? Well I bet you tell that to every girl you meet!" You yell back at him.

Ignoring what you said, Jisung decides to continue. "For some reason something clicked with you. I don't know what it was and I don't remember when, but something just clicked. You really were different. I started enjoying your company a lot more and everything just felt right.. around you."

"This is bullshit." You mumble before turning to walk away. Part of you didn't want to leave because you knew what he was talking about, something clicking. The other part of you decided that this was probably all a lie. "If he's lied to me before he'll do it again." You think trying to convince yourself to leave.

"I'm sorry, Jisung." You sigh. "I really want to believe you, trust me, I do. But you've told me things before.. and you lied to me about them. So who's to say that you aren't lying to me right now?"

There's no response. He just looks at you and you can see the small bits of hope leave his eyes. "Okay." You sigh with a nod before turning to leave. You get pretty far away when you hear him yell your name in attempt to get you to stop walking away from him. "Before you go.. can I please just tell you something?"

You let out a tired sigh. "What is it?"

"You don't have to believe me." He starts. "But you remember that night we spent together? The one right here? In this exact spot?"

You nod. "You mean the night that you lied to me?"

Your words sting, but he decides to continue anyways, trying his best to not show how much that hurt him.

"I meant everything I said that night.. All those words I said were true y'know.." He whispers. "I miss you."

"I miss seeing how your eyes lit up.. And I miss seeing your smile.. I still see it every now and then, but it's not directed at me and it just hurts. I miss our silly disagreements and how we'd drag them on for what felt like ages. I miss driving you home because even though they were silent drives I felt safe and comfortable with you there. It didn't have to be loud like when I drove around with my other friends. I miss the little dates we went on, and ye-yes you'll never hear me say it again but they were all dates. I miss that day at the mall.. before everything went down. Do you remember?" He asks.

You nod again. This time it's smaller and more subtle.

"Y'know.. That's the day I started realizing I liked you." He admits.

Closing your eyes you whisper, "Stop talking."

But he doesn't listen. He just continues.

"You were playing some dumb game.. I don't remember if it was a claw machine or ski ball but it was something.. You were so focused. You even stuck your tongue out a little.. you got so into it."

"Stop talking." You say again, louder this time.

"You looked so pretty.." He sighs. "And you were so excited when we raised enough tickets to get a bag of candy for ourselves. They kicked us out because we sat on the air hockey table, remember? I don't know if they'll ever let us back in there, but it was fun while it lasted." He laughs.

"I said stop talking!" You practically yell, turning to face towards him.

"Why?" He asks, giving you a sad look.

"Because I don't want to remember that day." You sigh.

"Why?" He asks again.

"I don't wanna say why."

He takes a step closer to you. "You can tell me anything."

You sigh in defeat.

"Did you feel it too?" You ask him and he nods.

"So you know?"

"I do."

"Then why do I have to say it?" You ask.

"Because if you say it, then it's like you're accepting the truth."

"I don't like how you know what I feel." You mumble to yourself as he takes another step closer.

"What if I don't.. say it?" You ask.

"Then just give me a sign." He says.

"Do you miss me?" He asks. By this point the sun has gone done, and if weren't only you two here you probably wouldn't have heard him.

You nod. "I do."

"Are you mad at me?" He asks.

You nod again. "I am."

"That's okay." He says. "I understand."

This time, you take a step back.

"Do you wanna be mad at me?"

Instead of responding this time, you ask, "Why do you get to ask all of the questions?"

"I never said you couldn't ask any." He says while you shoot him a glare.

"Okay then." You start, deciding you were going to play this little game with him. Taking a step forward you ask, "Why did you choose me?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. You were new."

You scoff at his response. "Predictable."

Thinking of a better question to ask him, you say, "How can I believe you?"

"You can't." He responds. "You just have to trust me. Do you trust me?"

"I do."

He nods.

"Okay."

"Do you trust me?" You ask him, breaking the pattern you two have created.

"I do." He says, echoing your answer.

You nod.

"Okay."

"So.. What now?" He asks.

"What do you mean?"

"What do we do now?"

"Ah." You sigh. "That's what you meant."

"Well.. Yeah." He says. "I don't know if you know this but.. this is the closet we've been ever since.. what happened. Yet it's still the furthest we are from each other."

"Can you just shut up, for once?" You ask, voice playful in tone.

Jisung hears it and he gives you a small smile, liking the sudden change in atmosphere. "I dunno.. Will I?" He jokes.

"You're silly." You say, while a smile starts to form shortly after.

"..Can we start over?" He asks, and you can tell he's being serious.

He looks scared. Nothing like the same boy who you saw just a second ago, the one who was starting to be comfortable with you again.

"I'd understand if you didn't want to. Or if you don't want anything to do with me anymore after this. I just thought.. it'd be the right thing to ask."

"Do you promise not to break my heart?" You ask.

"Only if you promise not to break mine." He responds with a smile.

"No promises." You say, grabbing his hand and interlocking it with yours.

"Hey!" He exclaims. "You can't do that!"

"Yes I can. I just did."

"I'll take this as a yes then?" He asks, a giggle following afterwards.

"Yeah. You can take this as a yes."

✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

[miedemamadness]

This story is from my Wattpad but had a request to post it here as well so here goes..

Secret Surprise

{Disappointment and Encouragement}

Tomorrow was the day, the semi final match of the euros, Netherlands were playing England for a place in the final, something the whole team had always dreamed of..Viv was sat in her spot in the changing room prior to the last practice before the big game fiddling with her phone and looking glum, Lisa was meant to be flying out for the semi final and final but had to cancel last minute due to "unforeseen circumstances" back home, don't get her wrong Viv loved football it was all she had dreamed of as a little girl and the fact she got to do it professionally for her country still blew her mind but god she missed her girlfriend so much, her and Lisa had been together for just over a year after meeting each other and falling in love while playing for German side Bayern Munich and Viv always found it extremely hard being away from her, she wasn't a clingy person but Lisa was like her comfort blanket she always felt safe around her and knowing she wasn't going to be here for one of her most important matches killed her inside... she quickly starts tapping away at her phone

viv ~ hey how are you? I miss you so much babe, gutted you can't be here x

lisa ~ hey gorgeous, I'm good thanks you? nervous? I know I'm gutted too but I promise I'll be out there for the final even if it kills me, I miss you x

viv ~ that's even if we reach the final lis... x

lisa ~ of course you will, I have every faith just go out there and smash it like you always do, I'm so incredibly proud of you x

viv ~ thankyou, I love you... better go sarina is yelling at us to go to practice 🙄 speak later? x

lisa ~ hahaha go do your thing gal, I love you too and always ❤️ x

Lisa slid her phone back into her pocket as she handed her ticket and passport over to the lady sat behind the desk, truth is Lisa had managed to sort out the little problem back home within plenty of time for her to fly out to Holland for the semi final match tomorrow and that's where she currently was, at the airport on her way but she had decided instead of telling viv out right she was gonna surprise her, she had messaged Jill letting her know.. Jill was Viv's teammate and best friend and she needed to tell someone so she could get picked up from the airport on the other side, she knew Jill wouldn't say anything to Viv and ruin the surprise she could trust her. After getting through security she grabbed a bite to eat and made herself comfortable if that was even possible on those ridiculous metal airport benches as she waited for her gate number to be called out, she couldn't help but let the massive smile on her face show, just one more night and she gets to hold her girl again in her arms.

"anyone home" Jill said to Viv who was sat on the edge of the training pitch in a daze, waving her hand in front of her face making viv quickly snap out of it "er yes why" Viv replied quickly looking at Jill, "you've had a face like a dead fish throughout this whole practice, what's wrong with you" Jill asked her best friend in a soft manner, Viv just shrugged "nothing, I just miss Lisa.. she was meant to be flying out for tomorrow's game but now she can't, she said she would be here for the final no question's asked but what if we don't make the final? I don't want her to waste her time flying here for nothing" Jill just giggled already knowing what Lisa had planned, "I'm so glad you have so much confidence in this team to make it to the final" she raised an eyebrow as she stands up "anyway she'll still get to see you and I'm sure she doesn't think that's a waste of time you know how much she loves you" Jill offered her best friend a hand up as Viv just laughed the comment off grabbing Jills hand as they both headed back to practice.

As Lisa got ready to board the plane she texted Viv one last time "hope practice went well I can't wait to speak to you tonight x" they had their nightly facetime 'planned' so she knew Viv wouldn't question it, before turning her phone to aeroplane mode she also quickly texted Jill "boarding the plane now, see you in 2 hours thanks again for this I owe you x" Jill got the message straight away as she was led on her bed being lazy after training a smile creeping on her face when she read it she quickly texted back "anytime, can't wait to see Viv's face tomorrow haha, see you soon safe flight x" she quickly jumped off the bed throwing on an oversized hoodie, all she had to do now was get out of the hotel without Viv suspecting anything, if only she didn't share a room with the exact same woman, she grabbed her car keys off the side of the table trying to act as normal as possible but it still caused Viv to look up from her phone that she had been engrossed in ever since they had got back from training, "where are you going at this time of night" she questioned, Jill shot round trying quickly to think of an excuse in her brain, she wasn't a fast thinker but she was quite proud of how fast she thought on her feet this time "er nowhere just for a quick drive to clear my head" she replied hoping Viv would buy it and drop the conversation, "give me a second I'll come with you" Viv smiled back, "NEEEEE" Jill shouted maybe a tad loud cause it made Viv jump "I'm sorry, I mean I just wanna be alone for a little bit" Jill shrugged, Viv knew Jill had just broken up with her boyfriend and was taking it quite hard so decided to drop the subject "okay just be careful okay?" she said softly placing her hand on her best friends shoulder, "I will I'll see you soon yeah" Jill smiled as she headed out the door and Viv got back to what she was doing on her phone which was trying to get hold of Lisa but she wasn't replying and Viv was getting really concerned she decided to wait until Jill was back hopefully with a clearer head to discuss her concern with her, "Jesus Jill that was a close one" Jill muttered to herself as she walked down the hotel corridor towards her car, she hated lying..definitely to Viv of all people but she knew the outcome would be worthwhile and with that she was off to the airport to pick Lisa up, even she was excited to see the Scottish mad girl they had become really close friends themselves what with her being Viv's girlfriend and herself being Viv's best friend.

After dropping Lisa off at her hotel and making sure she had settled in okay Jill returned to her hotel room to Viv pacing up and down the room, "Viv?" Jill called out but got no reply "VIVIANNE" Jill spoke a little louder making the older girl jump a little as she turned and looked at Jill, the first thing Jill noticed was the tears streaming down Viv's face she quickly ran over to her "What the hell has happened I've only been gone an hour?" she questioned worryingly, "Jill, I can't get hold of Lisa she's not picking up my calls or returning my texts what if something has happened to her what if something bad has happened" she slid down the wall with tears still streaming from her eyes as she clutched her chest "I can't breathe...Jill please I can't breathe" at this point Jill had began to panic what was she gonna do? she couldn't exactly tell her where Lisa was and ruin the surprise Lisa had been planning all this time but at the same time she couldn't let Viv go on thinking the worst, she slid down the wall herself to sit next to her best friends side pulling her in "Viv.. just breathe girl deep breaths, I'm sure Lisa is fine maybe she's just busy and hasn't been able to check her phone" Viv turned her head and gave Jill a questionable look "busy at this time of night? doing fucking what?" Jill shrugged "I don't know I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, why don't you sort yourself out and try once more" Viv nodded and got up heading to the bathroom to sort herself out as Jill whipped her phone out to text Lisa...

"Lisa you have to answer Viv's FaceTime I dunno just sit in front of a blank white wall pretend you're somewhere else like your grandparents house but you need to answer she's going out her mind with worry here x"

"oh shit... is she okay? I'll definitely answer I'll throw her off the scent somehow x"

"I think she's calmed down abit now I've tried to reassure her x"

"ta babe I'm glad she's got you there with her x"

" :) gotta go she's coming out the bathroom good luck don't blow it x"

Viv flung herself onto her bed turning towards Jill "do you think I should try again now?" Jill just nodded in response "yeah sure, I'll go see Daan give you some privacy just text me when it's safe to come back" "safe to come back?" Viv questioned as Jill raised her shoulders "I mean I don't know what goes down on these facetime calls when you've been away from each other this long... the sexual tension must be unreal" she quickly added on the end as Viv rolled her eyes throwing a pillow at her as she walked out the door. She picked her phone up off the side and dialled Lisa's number and much to her relief she got the connecting screen almost straight away.

"Hey baby I was just about to text you back, sorry I haven't been answering I've been travelling all day I've popped back up to Scotland to see my grandparents"

Viv smiled as she instantly felt warm inside at the sound of Lisa's voice, "it's fine honestly.. I mean it's not fine I was going out of my mind with worry I thought something bad had happened but it's okay I'm just glad you're safe" 

Lisa pulled a face at her girlfriend "something bad? like what"

Viv shrugged and laughed a little "I dunno anything maybe you got run over or the house got robbed or aliens abducted you..."

Lisa giggled at Viv's comments "babe you don't half make me laugh but I promise you I'm fine, just missing you loads"

Viv's facial expression soon dropped "I miss you too... now I've gotta play this stupid semi final without you there and there's a chance we might not make it to the final so I'd be wasting your time making you come out here for nothing" she sighed.

"Anna Miedema stop being silly, you are gonna make that final" Lisa said before Viv cut her off.

"Anna...you never call me by my real name unless you're annoyed" the look of worry on her face thinking she had annoyed Lisa.

"I am annoyed, I'm annoyed that you don't believe in yourself like I believe in you.. like everyone believes in you, you're an incredible player and you have an outstanding team there's no reason whatsoever why you can't beat them tomorrow" Lisa replied softly as a small smile appeared across Viv's face.

"I love you... thankyou for always believing in me I don't know what I would do without you" Viv replied just desperately wanting to hold her girlfriend in her arms.

"I love you too, now we've been jaffing on for almost 2 hours" Viv giggled she loved Lisa's random words for things "you need to get your sleep for tomorrow.. so I'm gonna say goodnight but Viv... remember you can do anything you put your mind too beautiful"

Viv nodded in response "thankyou, night babe I love you"

"I love you too and ring me the second the match is over okay? Goodnight beautiful"

"I will.. goodnight" and with that Viv clicked end call and quickly messaged Jill telling her it was safe to come back before curling up and falling asleep with her girlfriends words of encouragement still in her mind, she knew she could do it, she knew the team could do it but tomorrow would soon tell.

[gayregis]

Oh yeah that reminds me of another question I've been meaning to ask (sorry to jump on you like this haha) but which vampire canon change in B&W annoys you the most? For me it's the whole 'even touching silver will harm a vampire' (when it's explained that Syanna figured out Dettlaff was a vampire because he wouldn't directly touch a silver candlestick). I just choose to ignore that detail bc I don't think it makes much sense haha

omg this is such a good ask im so excited to answer

first of all, i really agree with you, even when i hadn’t read the books fully i had read that one passage in lady of the lake where regis gestures with a silver fork at the banquet, and blood and wine tries to make it so like regis and dettlaff are the same “kind” of vampire, so this obviously doesn’t make any sense, and since it’s just such a small detail i tried to ignore it, like, maybe dettlaff just wanted to keep the silver candlestick fingerprint-free, ever consider that, syanna? you’re gonna pawn something, you don’t want like a billion fingerprints mucking it all up... and then syanna thought this made him a vampire, when in reality he was a vampire but the candlestick had fuckall to do with it

but yeah i think i’m gonna do like a top 5 style: TOP 5 THINGS CDPR GOT WRONG ABOUT THE VAMPIRES. im not gonna do a countdown because im a very direct person and think its best to get the worst out of the way.

1. their society and relationship with humans.

the thing that upsets me the most that cdpr changed is how vampires exist on the continent. stuff like tesham mutna and the unseen elder breaks canon lore so hard it makes me physically upset. 

this is a bad thing because not only is the trope of “vampires control everything from the shadows as a secret society so they can feed on human blood” incredibly boring and overdone (it’s a trope, so it’s something that the witcher should stand to invert since that’s pretty much the purpose of the witcher), but it also has origins in antisemitism (the myth of the illuminati or “reptilians/secret societies controlling the world”, blood libel), so it’s super gross! i don’t want the vampires to be that trope, that’s completely unfair.

they already were something other than that trope, they already HAD their own society (or lack thereof) as part of the canon lore. maybe it is personal preference, but i think that their “anti-society” is super interesting. how does something like that function with no rules or figures of authority or customs? it’s incredibly different to the ways humans function in this universe, who are mostly bound around their nation, city/town/village, and home unit, and abide by strict custom and systems of authority. it’s really something to be explored from a lore perspective, there wasn’t a whole lot explained in canon (for good reason: see #2) so it has perfect potential to be elaborated upon in the adaptational spinoff that is the witcher games.

it makes them super boring and trope-y to have them all kowtow to One Figure Of Authority in the area. plus CDPR states that the reason toussaint is so perfect is that this secret society controls toussaint as an area to perfect blood, when toussaint literally existed as a fairy-tale duchy to be an OBSTACLE to geralt and his hansa in the saga. it was the “leave-your-quest” test. think of the island of the lotus eaters from the odyssey. it’s a perfect place, there’s no reason as to why it is perfect, it just is, and it keeps the company hostage there for months so they will get distracted and eventually forget what they came there for. 

in canon as well, vampires do not seem to care much about humans. regis certainly does, but he is regis :). there was little conversation about how vampires view humans, rather about how humans view vampires and project their innermost fears and desires to them. further breaking some vampire tropes. in blood & wine. instead of that trope-flipping, we get... “vampires tortured humans out of curiosity and selfishness.” what? why would they do this? there is not much to gain, and it would take a lot of cooperation and effort to get to this point, which leads me to ask, HOW could they do this? as regis says in bof, there were only about 1,200 vampires when they arrived on the continent, so they were completely and utterly outnumbered as they were likely scattered around. they wouldn’t be able to build a castle and re-engineer toussaint to fit their needs. i understand that he is massively biased, but i feel like regis calls these first vampires “hapless survivors” for a reason, and also since regis is regis, i do not feel like he would feel this way about them if they committed massive crimes against humanity.

tl;dr for this point: not only is it fucked up for no reason but to be gross/shocking to the audience, but it also removes their purpose as a metaphor, which is #2.

2. the removal of their purpose as a metaphor in the story.

originally, the vampires are not meant to be the focus of the witcher series or even a smaller part of the series at all. they are simply a metaphor for aspects of human society so that regis can have a backstory. the vampires are nothing more than a fictional means of exploring the effects of alcoholism, and a thought experiment as to what an authority-less, family-less, custom-less society would be like. the question “what do youth do when they have no support and no guidance?” already is one of the witcher’s major questions as a saga, the vampires and regis’s backstory serves to be another one of the stories within it that fits this theme. except we add more conditions to the thought experiment this time, like “what if these youth never aged and were powerful enough to survive on their own?” there would be no reason for them to ever change or grow out of their behavior. it’s quite interesting, because it’s meant to reflect upon human nature, the vampires are metaphorically humans. there is no reason for regis to even be a vampire, except that he needs to be able to survive death and learn from his mistakes. a human would have died had he hit rock bottom like regis did, but since regis wasn’t human and could rise from the grave, he had the chance at a new life. humans don’t get second chances. this is the point of the entire story being about vampires.

now, i understand that the purpose of the witcher games is to entertain, unlike the point of the witcher book series, which are like any other books and serve an author’s message. so, it stands to reason that the vampires do not have to prove a strong point here, but they should retain their essential traits and serve as the metaphor which was already really interesting and deserves more explanation and thought. i think using a fictional lens to take a look at real-world issues can be helpful sometimes, when done respectfully and when still using creativity. even if it’s just to entertain, that doesn’t mean it should be brainless and throw all of the commentary out of the window.

the vampires as a subject for the game to focus on should really be a vessel for thought and critique. it should mean SOMETHING for them to be there, because they were originally a message and a metaphor.

but in blood & wine, they are incredibly shallow, only there to exist for the attention-getter of gore.

does it MEAN anything that dettlaff regenerated regis from his own flesh and blood? or does that just happen because we needed a convienient way to bring regis back and tie him to the antagonist? does it MEAN anything that dettlaff cuts off his own hand? or is that just because it’s cool and kinda gross. does it MEAN anything that the vampires attack beauclair? or is that just because there needed to be some violence and conflict.

there is no deeper meaning! it’s all just flashiness to shock the audience! it’s incredibly shallow and because it is shallow, it becomes boring and forgettable.

blood & wine focuses on details about the vampires that are gross, gorey or bloody, uncomfortable because of how nasty they are. and these elements have NO PURPOSE to the story other than to gross you out, like regis being regenerated, dettlaff skewering regis like a kebab, dettlaff cutting off his hand and that hand being handled by the bruxa, geralt, and regis, regis going crazy in a cage, syanna also getting skewered, etc. ... it’s this focus on the physical action that is happening on screen with little thought as to any deeper meaning that makes me tired and nauseous. why treat the vampires as savage animals?

as a mention in this topic, i am going to comment on how they deliberately changed the lore to “make childrens’ blood taste better than adults’ blood,” because that is mega-gross. why change it to focus on child endangerment? that’s nasty! why make orianna feed on children when it was LITERALLY canon that the “best” blood was that of strong adults? if you want to make orianna morally grey, she could have owned any other kind of place to get blood from. see #2 for more discussion of this.

3. their focus on the conjunction of the spheres.

the vampires never had this obsession with “returning home.” i... have no idea where this comes from. remember how i just said that i appreciate a metaphor for real-life when it is done respectfully? CDPR gave us this awkward metaphor for the vampires “wanting to go home” because they have to “assimilate” in this new world, apparently every vampire ever misses their homeland. ... it’s the story of immigrants who didn’t have a choice to be born in The New Land, but they were anyways, and now they want to go home. and it’s the story of minority groups, who are overshadowed by the society they live in, but cannot be themselves in, because it would mean violence. 

this is an incredibly awkward metaphor just because it’s not done well, but also CDPR literally just focused on how extremely violent the vampires are, and how they also control everything so they can use the humans they were thrown in with to their own fancies. this is... i didn’t know that the metaphors for fantasy racism in the witcher could get any worse than sapkowski’s were.

also, there’s some weird lore-breaking moments when regis says he misses the vampire homeworld or whatever, and i just am left staring at my laptop like. you’re only like, 4 centuries old, regis. the conjunction of the spheres occured more than 3 times your age in the past. plus the fact that regis in baptism of fire calls himself a “descendant,” it’s obvious that someone at cdpr just didn’t do their research when writing those lines.

4. their power level and exactly how powerful they are. 

let’s take a moment to think about a grain of truth. the second story in the witcher books, it was written before sapkowski had a lot of the vampire lore down-pat. geralt says things like “it’s silver, this blade is silver” and “an ordinary vampire couldn’t come out in the sun,” which are incongruent with what we learn in baptism of fire about vampires. but nevertheless, there’s a lot which is still accurate to the vampires, such as that VEREENA ABSOLUTELY KICKS GERALT’S ASS. geralt very nearly DIED in that fight, he was ABOUT to die, but nivellen saved him at the last split-second. geralt finds out that vereena is a bruxa, and he is alarmed, he shouts and then falls on his ass. he scrambles, he’s unprepared to deal with a foe THIS powerful. he manages to land his sword on her during the fight, but it barely harms her. she dodges incredibly, and swipes of his sword that should have hit do not. she screams terribly, and geralt is in incredible, writhing pain. he uses his signs to help him, this is no normal fight with a normal foe. flash forward to in baptism of fire, when geralt meets another vampire, one that is considerably more powerful and unique than vereena was. dandelion asks geralt, if ... potentially... maybe... and geralt responds that he sincerely doubts that he could beat regis in a fight, and he really does not want to have to try.

geralt was BESTED by vampires in the books. he was as close as a witcher can get to being INTIMIDATED by their power. but what happens in blood & wine? there’s like 8 bruxae and alpors ganging up on you and you can easily vanquish all of them with your silver sword and by knocking back maybe a glass of black blood and white raffard’s decoction. it’s fine, it’s easy to kill vampires. geralt doesn’t hesitate to fight dettlaff. he doesn’t worry, he doesn’t tell anyone that he sincerely doubts that he could beat him in a fight, that he doesn’t want to have to try. instead, it’s regis talking geralt out of the fight, trying to advocate for peace. 

CDPR massively nerfed the vampires just to make them easier targets for the player. i think this is unfair to how the vampires were powerful threats to be reckoned with in the books, foes that even geralt, a witcher, did not want to face. not even out of geralt’s pacifism and apprehension to slay innocent and/or sentient beings, but out of not wanting to fucking hit that die button

i also understand that regis was supposedly less powerful now because he was just tired from being regenerated, but vampires like bruxae should have been able to turn into giant bats. there’s nothing stopping them besides cdpr not wanting to code it in, just like how they didn’t want to code in bruxae or alpors wearing clothes (because vampires do wear clothes in canon).

5. their classification: adding new vampire species, distinguishing between “higher vampires” and “TRUE higher vampires”

just plain annoying to me. there’s only seven types of vampires, as regis says in baptism of fire: 

“In the case of higher vampires, never, I agree,” Emiel Regis said softly. “From what I know alpors, katakans, moolas, bruxas, and nosferats don’t mutilate their victims. On the other hand, fleders and ekimmas are pretty brutal with their victim’s remains.”

“Bravo,” Geralt said, looking at him in genuine admiration. “You didn’t leave out a single class of vampire, Nor did you mention any of the imaginary ones, which only exist in fairy-tales.”

so there are seven classes... five of which are higher vampires which can probably be classified by having sentient thought and not harming their victims, two of which are lesser vampires, which are quite violent with their victims and more animalistic for this reason.

also i am confused as to why CDPR made fleders the least likely to sustain flight, when their name i’m pretty certain is taken from fledermaus, the german word for bat, which just means flying mouse (feel free to correct me if i’m wrong, idk german), so “fleder” should just mean “flutter,” or “to fly.” 

SO. it’s total bullshit to be like “there’s some higher vampires and then TRUE/REAL higher vampires, which cannot be killed...” and it confuses everyone as to who is ACTUALLY a higher vampire and who is not, when the system we had before wasn’t broken at all!

BONUS. general changes to vampire powers

it annoys me how they turn into puffs of mist/smoke instead of vanishing, simply vanishing. no deeper reason why, it just bothers me because you’re not supposed to be able to see them at all, that’s the point of turning invisible/incorporeal.

there was no mention or demonstration of how regis can hypnotize people, even though that was probably his most frequently used vampire power in the books asides from turning invisible/incorporeal. it showed that even though he was very powerful, he opted to use his passive powers and nonviolent routes of dealing with people.

i think it also makes the vampires way overpowered to be able to regenerate each other with each other’s blood ... and it takes away from the finality of stygga... also them just flying and turning into bats whenever they want, as if regis didn’t say that he can only turn into a bat during a full moon. they made them overpowered and still made it super easy for geralt to kill them. alright