#anyway it was nice experience in general because i don't remember the last time i was able to enjoy con to the fullest

[burningfaith]

NOT THE CON VOLUNTEERS ASKING ME FOR PARENTS' PERMISSION 😭😭

[obae-me]

I am so sad that I'm not a Solomon fucker, because if I was, I would have actually cared about the Bon Voyage event. It's kind of cute, but I am very apathetic towards good old Sol. What are your thoughts on it?

Sorry for getting to this late! I wanted to actually complete the event before I responded, and I got to it very last minute! (Since I have low-key kind of hated the events lately. I hate spending 2-6 minutes doing the songs only for five lines of text as a reward, it's almost painful, but anyways...)

Now, Solomon as a character, I love. I was very meh towards him in the original Shall We Date, but they really started working on his character towards the end, and in Nightbringer they really pulled it home! Now I love Solomon! Before, he was just kind of some sketchy little sorcerer that they usually brought in to help solve plot devices- and don't get me wrong, he's still like that, but we definitely get a deeper look into *why*.

He's an immortal human whose desire for power and knowledge was so great, he somehow went head on with nearly the entire Devildom, convinced Barbatos to make a pact with him, and then made Barbatos show him every experience he could, at least, that's what I remember from the lore dropped thus far. And what do you usually get when you get a human that knows and sees too much? A broken human. A human who feels like there is no purpose left. A human with mixed morals and a shattered ego.

Now, this part is just my own personal thoughts and theories, but Thirteen talks about how Solomon's soul used to be beautiful like MC's, but then it became ruined. I imagine it's because he 'flew to close to the sun' and it nearly broke him. MC has hope, has love, has so much to learn still, so much to give. I imagine when Solomon learned and saw everything he could, he had hardly any hope left. Nothing was new to him anymore. He spent so much of his life seeking knowledge, and once he finally got it all...what was left? It corrupted him, surely. But then, clearly, somewhere along the line, his new purpose was to protect and stand for the human realm. Then his dealings with demons began.

The game always talks about how Solomon is now closer to a demon than a human. But I think that's because he *had* to "become" a demon. He has so many pacts, had so many exchanges with the Devildom, he had to learn how to survive amongst them. The way he withholds key information until the crucial moments. The way his "accidents" always seem to line up in his favor. The way his generous actions typically end up satisfying something of his as well. Exactly what a demon does. Exactly what someone would learn spending so much time around demons. I mean, that's exactly what MC learns how to do throughout the entire game! Play it smart, do whatever you can to earn the Brother's favors, and get their pacts. And then when MC throws that concept out the window and does things just to be selfless and then gets their pacts anyway? It almost breaks the "law" of the world that Solomon has come to know.

I'd like to think that maybe that's the reason why Solomon was sent to live with Simeon and Luke in Shall We Date. He needed to learn how to be around other beings, and maybe being around angels could correct some of that.

Now, about the event, the event was actually pretty cute. And while I have my general complaints about the events being very short and shallow, this one wasn't the worst of the bunch. Solomon getting some of the demon brothers together to give you a really nice dream is such a cute thing to do (even if he went behind your back to cast a spell on you). And also I'm not sure if it was stated specifically, but I'm like 98% sure MC and Solomon shared a bed at the end there, which is really adorable. I love sleepy bed cuddles.

This kind of ties back to my insights into his character, where he's spent so long being around demons that he's not really sure how to be a normal human anymore. He spends so much of his time planning and prepping how to do something for you when all he really needed to do was ask. All he wanted was a cute little date and to watch the sunset with MC and went through like a 100 step plan just to get it. And MC's little options to scold him for his schemes is really adorable in my opinion. Essentially it boiled down to them just saying "just ask next time, you idiot!". And Solomon being one of the smartest characters in the game being so lost and confused in terms of relationships and romance is really...very cute, which is why I think I like the concept of his character so much. I love when super overpowered characters have weaknesses like this, or learning new lessons.

I also loved the concept of just Lucifer, Asmo, Luke, Belphie, and Satan all just really hamming it up for MC. They preformed for them all just as a little thank you, and when they clarified, it wasn't really for anything huge. Shopping, helping them with decisions, just spending time with them, that was enough to fully convince them to pick up this dream-world-improv. Which...is really sweet.

Man I love these boys.

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen!! i wanted to let you know how much your advice means to me as a young butch as well as ask you for some advice.

i live in a tight-knit community and go to a small school. because my school is so small, we are allowed to attend prom all four years of high school. i didn't go my freshman and sophomore year despite my friends encouragement. last year i got asked by a girl as well and i turned her down. im in my junior year now and i still don't want to go. the thing is that there's this girl (who i like) who wants me to go. i feel like she likes me too and i don't want to disappoint her.

my avoidance to prom has to do with the whole dressing up fancy deal. ive avoided the first two years because i am uncomfortable wearing dresses and am worried about what people would think of me if i wore not-a-dress. the area where i live isn't super homophobic, but i know plenty of people that are. some people i know and care about are a little bit homophobic too. im worried about what people would think of me if i dressed unconventionally like that. people talk, as im sure you know. im worried about being discredited or belittled for my sexuality. i know some other queer teens, but it feels like such a jump to show up to prom in a suit. especially since im not explicitly out to many people yet and am generally cautious/apprehensive.

im considering wearing a dress to prom so i can show up with this girl, even though i know ill be uncomfortable. shes a nice girl and would probably encourage me to wear what i want if she knew how i felt, same with my friends.

i don't know if it's worth it though. i am scared of what people will think about me. im a year and a half away from college and living my best, queerest life. i could just wait. but i also don't want to regret not going and missing out on those classic teen experiences.

my heads swimming and id love your input!! i really admire you and want to be like you someday. thanks <3

I remember high school. I too went to a small rural school back in the 1980's. IT is not as easy as some people say. Those of us older often forget that high school is bascially a "closed" society that we are stuck in for all for years so every decision seems to hold weight. Doing something out of step with the "status quo" can have consequences we have to deal with for whatever is left of our 4 years.

SO older lesbians telling youngers to "do what you want" or "just be yourself" or "you have it so much easier than I (we) did" is not only unhelpful it can be detrimental at best and dangerous at worst. Some of my generation look back to high school through the lens of time and experience that think we "would have been more brave" and that NOW young lesbians have the freedom to do as they please because public sentiment and laws have turned in our favor. High school is just not that different now and laws and adult reactions do not apply.

SO here is my advice. Go with your crush. But ask her to go with you to pick an outfit. You do not have to wear a dress. It is wholly acceptable for women to wear suits. You don't have to wear a generic man's tux or suit, they are often ill fitting and boxy anyway, especially on women. GO to a tux or suit shop that sells women's styles and fit. You don't have to do the man's style with the tie and suit coat. A pair of black slacks, a white button down, can be pleated (woman's style) or not and a nice black vest without a tie is perfectly nice formal wear for a high school prom. To dress it up you can wear a colored vest either solid or with a pattern.

Any decent place that sells or rents formal wear will have women cut suits. Rental is not cheap but it is worth spending your hard earn bucks to look fabulous and feel confident. Check in your local suit shops, even department stores like JC Penneys or similar. Many offer women's suits and even have a list of local tailors that can do a fitting.

You might have to compromise a bit on what you would really like to wear but I think giving a little on the outfit and still having a style you feel okay in will be a small price to pay to spend a wonderful night out with her.

[mecachrome]

your oscar primer was absolutely brilliant, thank you so much for posting it!! well-researched, well-written, and a good balance of educational and hilarious. if you want to share, i’d be very interested in reading any of the parts you mentioned that you cut out, like george-admiring, oscar’s psyche, etc, but no pressure ofc 🫶

omg no thank you so much for your kind words, i appreciate it a lot!!! :D andddd let me see... honestly i was just going to add a few more quotes & anecdotes from other people about his personality but i ended up incorporating most of them into the primer (e.g. mark's), but in general i think it's really charming how Every Single Adult who has ever worked with oscar throughout the years is so deeply and immediately convinced of his maturity. i did work in most of this old ask but it has a few extra quotes in there from mclaren personnel! anyway more below the cut:

i guess really the thing to Me about oscar is like...... idk if this makes any sense but i personally love how he's naturally a really gracious and diplomatic person but is also deeeeeply self-assured and objective, which on one hand means he presents as quite humble when he doesn't make excuses for himself or get caught up in deceptively high results, but on the other also means he refuses to give anyone else credit for his own success; if you remember me briefly mentioning prematax in that post he talks about it in the f1fs pod where he basically goes i didn't win because of PREMA, in fact i've NEVER LOST TO A TEAMMATE, SO. like any racing driver that is def a big source of pride for him, and i think it speaks to the "silent killer" (per lando) side to him, the guy who mark says "falls asleep" when hearing stories of his (championless) career, who said that he supported mark out of national obligation growing up but—let us not forget—vettel was the one winning everything back then anyway, who says he put even more pressure on himself to win his final race in f2 despite having clinched the title 2 races prior because he felt the innate urge to prove that he wouldn't simply ease off the gas pedal and still had it in himself to subjugate the field one last time.

along these lines oomf and i have discussed before how he and alex rank similarly on the kind/nice dichotomy in a way that is slightly diametric to lando, wherein he is always willing to offer tidy bits of sympathy for someone else's struggles but doesn't ever really envision any of them as relevant to his own experiences, because getting caught up in that "external noise" would be a waste of time (even with logan in the f3 finale it was honestly kind of like "aw man that sucks, i'd hate for it to be me... ANYWAY"). like not to maybe exaggerate his interiority but i enjoy that he carries an amount of hidden tension that he obviously consciously decides to not take reactionary measures over—though that doesn't mean it isn't there, it's just very well regulated (unrelated but he does actually work with mental coach emma murray, who also works with scott mclaughlin and whom he says helped him center himself at the end of his eurocup season). but he's still very... unfiltered about when he's been disrespected in an unperturbed, straightforward manner, like saying otmar confronting him on the sim over being promoted to the seat was "bizarre and frankly upsetting," the face he made when he was told they'd overtaken alpine in the standings in 2023, telling the kids in that hp tuners interview that the renault engineers treated his first f1 test too nonchalantly, etc. 😭 like every interview back when he was a reserve driver was soooo "i'm gracious about being stuck in this role but also i've proven myself way too much to Not Hate This Compromise and i'll be pissed as hell if i don't get a seat next year"... i'll stop here but basically he is truly a master of balancing gritted-teeth conviction with his tactical charm and it is one of my fav things ever about him!!!

also another quote i love is this one from david sera about his driving style, because 1) i love the correlation between it and his personality/calmness, 2) i'm obsessed with the dynamic of his early rc days helping nurture a style of "finesse" in his driving throughout his junior career that may not have appeared naturally if he'd only begun racing in karting (and subsequently how he had to learn to not get "muscled around" after moving to europe), and 3) of course as a noted jb22 appreciator i love when people note similarities in his inputs to jb because it is delicious to ME:

Coming from a remote control car background where concentration, finesse and smooth inputs, these were the traits we saw in Oscar in the cadet category. [...] You would often see other drivers have an advantage in the early part of the race, driving more aggressively, but Oscar had a more calm approach.

c__c but back to the first part of the ask and our good friend russell jorge, i'm mostly obsessed with oscar's reactions to his performance at the rollercoaster that was spa 2021 and the fact that he's been so vocally appreciate of george "outperforming" the car he was in. the 2 instances of the word HERO on his twitter:

and then this quote in an interview he did in 2022:

"[Success] is definitely not just defined by just world championships, and if you can outperform the car that you're in—I think George Russell has been a very fine example of that in years previous, you know, constantly getting the most out of that Williams and of course Spa. (laughs) Bit controversial, but he got a podium at the end of the day! And even without that, he qualified second, he outqualified everyone except Max in a Williams, which, you know, is an unbelievable result."

also george being the only f1 driver (i think) to tweet him for his f2 title :saluting_face:

AND ALSO THEM SHARING THE ANECDOTE OF THEIR AWKWARD FIRST MEETING ON THE FAST & CURIOUS POD??? aka oscar was told in his april 2023 ep that they were going to interview george next and he was like oh ok you can ask him about our "slightly left-field introduction," and then they had george on who was like oh yeah i met oscar for the first time washing our hands together in the bathroom on our way to the ausgp in 2020 😭 what a way to meet.

[starlightswordfight]

"jeremy if this is another hc post I'm going to kill you" bad news

castaway nonsense PART TWO

– schnauz is deathly afraid of water. it unsettles him deeply, largely because of past experience. do you SEE his treasure catalogue entry for the blue paint?? who "swims out" for the "last time" in a swimming pool???? someone fucking DIED

– on a slightly similar note, he laughs when he's nervous!

– he is Perpetually Nervous

– I think molly would REALLY like the evil skeleton wizard memes that have taken over my brain for the past several years. "not me being evil shadow skull" and no one knows what the fuck she's talking about

– molly writes fanfiction

– will let people borrow her camera if you ask nicely

– speaking of molly. her and patch and dash should be best friends forever. same home planet and they all do stupid shit. jin is also involved and they're the voice of reason

– dash has a lot of fidget toys. on him at all times

– wears those jackets where it's just an anime character wrapped around them all the way all bizarre like. he doesn't think it's a good design by any means it's just really funny

– frisé's favorite instrument is the didgeridoo

– also she's intersex. I can do whatever I want

– hitting frisé with the singing/humming/tapping on stuff as stims beam

– construction work is super fucking loud so I think corgwin just would not be bothered by sudden/incredible noise anymore. it just reads as background stuff to him! that or he like genuinely isn't picking up on some of it at all, it doesn't register. frequent tinnitus haver. he might be going deaf

– corgwin is tumblr famous. the pikmin universe tumblr equivalent anyway. inspired by the headcanon generator that told us in the pikmin server I'm in that charlie lit a school on fire and got away with it and that the rescue corps killed princess diana

– think about it. he'd share fun building facts. niche internet micro celebrity and everybody loves him

– lapi is also tumblr famous

– he likes frolicking around outside For Enrichment but he also does it in the rain and sometimes comes home sick

– guilty of making sketchbooks into renderbooks and taking several years to complete them. "but it has to be perfect" That Is The Devil Talking

– horatio is not immune to the fog

– he has a VERY specific skillset. like. like stupid specific. the guy is the most proficient xylophonist you've ever met but he can't cook. knows how aeronautics works but his phone call game is BAD. give him an old movie from decades back and he can tell you what it is and who acted in it and exactly where he was when he first saw it, easily. if you ask him for directions anywhere he'll crumble and die

– he wrote his ID badge like that. it was fully and completely on purpose. horatio thinks it's funny as hell

– françois really likes bugs! sees them all the time in his work even if his studies are flora centric. while on pnf-404 he probably talks about it a LOT with dalmo. botany/environmental science major who minored in entomology

– I just do not think he'd be afraid of them and that is beautiful. he allows nothing to dissuade him. he has pet spiders it is wonderful

– OKAY YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS YOU CAN GET AT THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER AND IN OTHER PLACES WHERE IT'S LIKE ROCK SAMPLES FROM FOREIGN SPACE BODIES?? AM I INSANE??? in the little capsules and shit ????? yeah kit has those

– astrophysics lover. adores space science. worked at a planetarium before meeting osa. I don't remember if this contradicts the established lore and I am too tired to go back and check so if im wrong you can pelt me with stones and tomato

– osa lets him ramble on about it but in all honesty he does not know what the fuck kit is talking about half the time ever. ever

– vice versa! osa also has a huge nerd thing and it's world history. which makes sense for an archaeologist. I don't mean modern history either I mean ANCIENT

– fawks would unironically endorse the idea of a cybertruck but it never comes to fruition because everyone says it's stupid and he feels insulted and he gives up and sulks about it

– but he'd specialize. I know he would. he gets specific with it. good for him! my money is on prehistoric archaeology, stuff back before written text, and language, and any history that could be recorded with the power of words. which is why travelling to pnf-404 was so fucking important to him, he's been trying to construct something that would fill in the gaps of that lost starfolk history and this WAS the exact sort of thing that he was looking for

– technically they're doing geoarchaeology together. yes that's a subfield

– he is a tech bro and everybody thinks this is stupid and dumb also

– chewy

[seospicybin]

SEOSPICY EXCLUSIVE!

MEET SSICK, THE NEXT GENERATION ROCKSTARS — by Seospicy.

“Live is our thing."

The frontman of the trio that has been making a roar in the music industry, Han, boldly states.

"I’m not saying no other bands can touch us, but that’s our expertise. I think there are so many bands who are better than us at recording, writing songs, singing, and playing guitars or whatever, but in terms of creating an atmosphere I think we’re the best."

The confidence is backed by the number of people squeezing themselves into the pit and filling the entire venue to experience that atmosphere.

Lucky for them, the band will be more than happy to play all of their biggest hits. It's the 'SSICK' thing: giving people what they want.

Unlike other bands, they don't shy away from playing their hits in their show, one after another, and remembering that all of the tracks in their recent albums made it to the chart, they probably have to play the whole lot.

"People pay for tickets with their hard-earned money and they are willing to wait outside for hours to see us," the 23 years old Felix provides the simplest of reasons behind their hits-packed setlist.

Meeting Han at a college party back in 2018 and forming a band with him weeks later felt nothing less than him taking on the right path as he proudly admits that being a drummer for a rock band is his dream.

He fits the name of the band with his unique way of drumming, Felix confirmed that he learned a lot from watching Keith Moon who was famously known for his eccentric drum playing.

"It’s only right that we give them what they want!" Felix finishes with a gentle nod.

His bandmate's words only convinced Han that the show must go on. Ignoring their tour manager, Vin, who has given him three options to handle the situation: sing as normal, get the audience to help him sing, or pull the gig.

"We're not pulling the gig!" Han persists with a scarf tightly wrapped around his neck and regularly drinks his bottled water.

If Ssick has made it this far- two sold-out shows, a top 10 debut album, and a headliner for a festival this summer - it's all because of Han's work ethic, about which he’s earnest to the point of being endearing.

Half an hour before the show, the rest of the band again propose canceling the gig, Han won't even hear it but he's up for a compromise, he won't be playing instruments tonight.

"Hyunjin is so good. He plays like there’s 10 of him anyway," Han says and, at the same time, professes his admiration for Hyunjin's incendiary guitar skill.

As for Han, who gladly gave up playing guitar for the band and picks up the bass ever since, playfully adds, “I’ve hated guitar since I started. It hurts my hands. It’s heavy. It cost me money to buy when I was a kid. They break."

Hyunjin might have been the last to join but Ssick wasn't the first band he played with. He has toured with a band as an additional member, the experience helped him hone his skill that Felix and Han felt like they have to step up their game to get to his level of greatness.

However, the twin, what fans like to call them due to their birth dates only a day apart, stated that the band feels brand new the second Hyunjin decided to join and completed the triangle.

"I feel like they're the right people to create something together with," Hyunjin sheepishly talks for the first time during the interview.

Opposite to his explosive and electrifying stage act, Hyunjin is mostly quiet off the stage yet he doesn't refuse to tell the one thing we're all dying to know.

"First, they don't insist their music on me," he elegantly answers, legs crossed with his hand touching his lower lip.

"I've been with bands that already set their roots without my involvement so it's nice to finally be a part of something from the ground up," he adds.

It seems like it's the first time the other two learning about it too. It's this tender moment like this that can't be captured on camera that speaks the loudest.

Han bursts the silence by tapping Felix on the shoulder, "I thought you offered him money to make him join us," he jokes.

It's still a mystery what Felix did to appeal Hyunjin as he refuse to tell going into the details, but he surely did his job well.

The atmosphere is there the moment they step into the stage. They opened the show with their latest single and despite Han's voice is not at its hundred percent, he made it alright until the end of the first three songs.

With head bowed down, he apologized in advance to the people who made ten thousand tickets sold out in under twenty minutes for his unfit condition to carry a gig.

"I'll make sure everyone goes home with a beer tonight," he promises some sort of consolation, an unconventional one.

After playing their big radio hit, 'One', it's one that worked to make people's head turns and turn them into fans, it somehow rejuvenates him that everyone wondering what he apologized for.

But that doesn't mean he forgot about his promise, as everyone got a can of beer on their way out of the venue.

Considering that Han wrote most of the band's songs, no one doubted that it was coming from his pocket.

Instead of using the chance to brag, he chose to reminisce the time when Felix and him sitting on the carpeted floor of the tiny studio they rented from the old days, weeks after knowing their debut album shoots up to the fourth rank.

"I remember asking Felix, ‘Are we doing this right?’ and Felix went 'Ah, but we’re keeping our feet on the ground'."

Felix testifies to his story by nodding along to what Han saying.

"I said: ‘Isn’t that what rock ‘n’ roll’s about? Aren’t you supposed to lose your feet for a bit?’" Han concludes.

Well, rock and roll aren’t fueled by humility, after all; it’s fueled by guts, guitars, and guys with a hunger for more.

-

READ MORE SSICK ON SEOSPICY'S UPCOMING FIC SERIES: ON TOUR.

RELEASE DATES:

06.09 PART I - SOUNDCHECK.

06.16 PART II - OPENING ACT.

06.23 PART III - UNPLUGGED.

06.30 PART IV - ENCORE.

(With previews available every Thursday!)

[ronnie2point0]

... nobody told me to do this nobody not a single soul d. bloodmarch nsfw headcanons.

CRUCIFY ME CRUCIFY ME RIGHT NEXT TO JOSEPH I DON'T CARE. I HAVE DONE WHAT MANY MEN HAVE FEARED TO DO AND SOMEONE IS PROBABLY SEARCHING FOR SOME RECENT SHIT LIKE THIS ANYWAY

anyways i may or may not have studied his character a little too long if it feels a little too accurate (or not) don't shoot me please

Judging by the affectionate nature he's got (ex. bouquet making, letters to you, etc.) Damien would be the kind of man to 'go big or go home'; loves the setup of the 'rosepetals leading to the bed' trope, big on enhancing the experience down to the little things (ex. scent of candles, lighting, bedsheets and coloring, music if you care for it, even down to the body wash and fragrances on himself to keep you interested + kind of aphrodisiac-esque?)

King of Sensuality. What did you expect? He's a Victorian aficionado. He writes poetry. He indulges in raunchy NaruSasu fanfiction. He's got saucy things to say when the time is right, and it's shocking everytime. Knowingly presenting himself as incredibly put-together, gentlemanly-like and respectful, he sure as hell uses your inital perception of him to his advantage. Starts with little sweet compliments and quips about your appearance, then it'll be the gestures. The lingering finger dropping down your spine before he departs. The longing gaze before dropping it to keep you thinking about what's in his mind. The nectar-sweetness of his caress of your cheek until a kiss is given... and he'll make it last just before you need more. Small bonus: Body Worship™.

He's a switch. I don't make the rules. Depending on the partner he'll fluctuate more on topping or bottoming, but generally Damien will love both. Avid strap-on user. If he's bottoming: missionary through-and-through. Likes the intimacy of seeing your face + reactions to his own if you hit/touch a spot he loves, likes to gently claw at your back or wrap himself around your neck and feel you near. Topping? Lotus. Same case of intimacy mentioned prior. (of course in reverse)

Probably enjoys the flair of kinks/fetishes; the man avidly imagines things a little too vividly when it comes to sex + has his naughty ass books to prove he's most likely interested. May enjoy wax play, raunchy massages in moody lighting (probably would pick up the kind of oils that make your skin tinge/heat), yes it's super on the nose but a vampire kink. May or may not like doing it in his study (mainly oral) and has a guilty pleasure for being called "sir". He tries not to acknowledge that one but his pink cheeks give it away.

Sorry to crush any small dreams but the man is too nice for his own good; painfully patient and incredibly good at purred praises but can't bare the idea of insulting/degrading you in anyway shape or form. To Damien your body is a shrine he'll praise and keep in prisitine condition till 'Death Do Us Part' because it hurts the values and morals he has for himself. And maybe he's a bit scared you won't take it well if he does have the courage to try once on a blue moon. Worst he can get is being some sassy little tease (thank Mary for the influence) and prod your buttons until it's too much, which in his eyes he can see as 'forgivable sadism'.

Damien isn't much of a vocal person during the early stages of your relationship with him—dysphoria is still presently a bitch and it does take him longer than most to fully dive into preparing himself to be bare in front of you. (its cute even when you know you've accepted him already) Tends to either hum or sigh at best. Later on however... loves to mewl. Loves to whine if he's frustrated from work and does the 'Pouty-Cheek Thing'™ if you're purposely hard on him (heuheu get it) for funsies + still timelessly get's shy and bashful if you're honest about how good he sounds

Remember how I said he's big on sensuality and enjoys body worship? small secret: his erogenous zones are by his thighs, inner wrists and ears. sorry i dont I DON'T MAKE THE RULES do you see how i have too much time on my hands also good morning tumblr so sorry for this

[charcorner]

Welcome to Char Corner!

Hi there, fellow Char owners! My name is Astra, I use any pronouns but mostly she/they, and I raise Homo aznablii (also known as Chars) for a living! I have worked at multiple Char shelters, and own multiple Chars myself. Here's a quick intro to them!

(Plus, some tips I shared in the comments of a Strange Aeons video about clown husbandry:)

Mars

Male 0079

Age: 4

Mars is a new addition to the family. I picked him up from a Char shelter back in July. He was surrendered to the shelter after his owners couldn't take care of them. PSA: Purebred 0079s are not good starter Chars! They need constant stimulation to keep from engaging in the classic Char pastime of destroying everything in your home, along with 0079s needing to be disciplined regularly, (without force! please do not hit or yell at your char, as they will distrust you and be more likely to indiscriminately attack you. i like to use spray bottles) to actually make them listen to you. If you REALLY like 0079s but don't have any experience raising Chars, get a 0079/Quattro cross. While Mars can have an attitude sometimes and has tried to escape a few times when I let him outside for more than a few minutes, he's a really sweet Char. Fun fact: he's the same 0079 Char from the Garfield story I shared above

---

Hallie Jr.

Female Quattro/CCA mix

Age: 3

Hallie Jr. is one of the Char pups from the story I shared above. Her mother, a Quattro named Hallie, was one of the first Chars I raised, and was a general sweetheart. Sadly, last May, Hallie was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 17, and I had no choice but to end her life in a humane way. I'll never forget the day I took her home from the shelter all those years ago, and how she was so scared on the ride back home... Anyways, Hallie Jr. is chaotic. That's it. I remember when I first took Mars home and Hallie Jr. gave him a nice chomp on the shoulder. What a way to roll in the welcome wagon... She's also given me a few nips, too, and almost attacked another Char at the Char park (my pride and joy as a char owner. /s) Anyways, I always say that Quattros are the ideal starter breed of Char, due to their mostly-docile temperament. CCAs, however, need a great deal of training and socialization, which I know a lot of casual Char owners can't afford to provide. Sadly, this has led to many CCAs turning aggressive and getting the breed as a whole classified as dangerous in a lot of jurisdictions. (They're kinda like the "bully breeds" of dogs.)

---

Meteor

Male Full Frontal

Age: 27

While I normally do not condone getting Full Frontals due to the problems with the breed (see above), a friend gave me Meteor because they were moving to a place which did not allow Chars in the lease (an unfortunate truth in many places) and I couldn't say no. Even if he is getting on in the years (the average Char lifespan is 33 years), he is still one of the most amazing Chars I have ever taken care of. However, last month he started to become more lethargic and nipped me when I tried to pet him (an action he usually enjoys). I'm planning to take him to the vet soon to see what's up with him.

---

Ceres

Female mutt (with 0079 and CCA features)

Age: 1½ years

Last but not least, Ceres was a stray Char pup who was rejected by her mother. I found her in my front lawn in critical condition and I just had to take her in because I couldn't let a newborn Char die like that, and bottle-fed her and nursed her back to health. She's currently in her "teen phase" (Chars fully mature at 2 years old) and is starting to test her boundaries. She often gets zoomies and even scratched Hallie Jr. once (she's probably learned her lesson now). However, she's still as sweet as the day I took her in!

Random Char facts and tips:

Chars only started being imported to the western world in the past 25 years. Before that, they were popular pets in Japan and other East Asian countries, hitting their stride in the late seventies, although a small portion of Chars were imported to Italy around the early eighties in the hopes of starting a fad, although they never caught on back then.

CHARS AND CLOWNS DO NOT GO TOGETHER!! I've seen so many Chars get surrendered to shelters because they attacked or even killed clowns, one of their NATURAL PREY SOURCES. Come on.

Chars are facultative carnivores. In the wild, they prey on not only clowns, but also deer and other large herbivores. But domesticated Chars will still be as happy eating small animals such as live mice as they would chasing down a deer in the wild.

Please do not keep attack/guard Chars, especially CCAs. The training to turn them into one cannot be done in a way that does not involve abuse. Please get a functioning security system.

You may have noticed that Chars are horny AF. It's a survival strategy: Chars mate with anything and everything as wild mother Chars have a tendency to reject or even eat their offspring. Thankfully for Char breeders, domesticated Chars have had this behavior almost entirely bred out of them.

Chars are pregnant for 6 months and usually give birth to a litter of 4-9 Char pups.

Anyways, good luck in your own Char breeding and owning adventures!

~ Astra

[delicatelystrangepolice]

Some thoughts on fandom and discussions around art and how I don't really know how to feel about it

(because I was trying not to write something and I wrote this one instead)

I've been thinking to write something about that one post-s3 Lisa's interview (in fact, I did write some drafts with way too many words and scattered thoughts) but ultimately I decided it's not worth it 1) spending my time writing about something I DID NOT like and 2) engaging with a discussion around here because... I'm kind of on the fence about how I want to spend my time on tumblr.

Anyway, this led me to some thinking. From my previous experiences I was very sure that criticizing the creators was always a fair game. I always had a clear belief that creators and the audience are two separate entities and they of course have an overlap with discussing the given art, but ultimately they should be kept separate. It's the creators' choice if they want to engage with the audience but I think it can lead to some problems when the fans can't freely express themselves because they are afraid to hurt someone's feelings.

With the internet culure and social media this line between the creators and the audience blurred heavily - for better or for worse, I don't know, it probably has some benefits. But I remember when last year I was watching some Hearstopper interviews and Jo Locke's brought up something - someone commented it's nice that they casted more unconventionally attractive person for his role and I think he got a bit offended and described it as 'backhanded compliment.' It made me think.

I thought that the comment was fair - yeah, it's good that we maybe starting to see less supermodels casted for average people roles. I also thought yeah, I understand that because maybe I was never in any heavily marginalized group but sure as hell I never saw myself represented on screen when I was a teenager. I think that commenting on the casting choices is totally within the fair game of discussing a piece of media. And it's not Locke's fault - he was asked about it, he answered honestly how he feels, all good. But I think it put in people's minds this idea that the evil audience can harm the creators simply by commenting on the creation.

I saw some of it in YR fandom, the idea that criticizing something can harm the people who created it. That somehow we should be protective of them and only talk about privately about the negative things. And I personally think that having a big audience can get harmful, especially for young actors (or artists in general) especially if the social media is involved and they are there in the open to have fans coming on them personally - commenting on their private lives, looks, career choices etc. But I don't agree that it's the audience's job to censor themselves just because there's a chance someone can see their thoughts. To put it simply, it's not okay to harrass the creators on their profiles but it should be totally fine to write something on your blog.

It's the audience's job not to reach out to the creators with vile comments but it's the creator's job not to seek out the discussion in fandom spaces if they feel too sensitive to handle it.

I don't think the distinction is hard to understand and to execute.

I'm a big fan of having the discussion being there in the open. One of the benefits of the internet is the fact that people can gather around something they feel strongly about and seeking others to share the those feeling. Benefit of the fandom is that you can find someone as crazy and as weird as you. But when when the creators start to be a part of the fandom - I think the discussion stops being as honest as it could be.

And the honesty is the only interesting part for me.

[essaytime]

Thank you so much for the links! I’m not going to answer the asks so I can keep them in my ask box but I will be checking them out when I get back from London. Also do you have any recommendations for things to see at the British Museum or London in general?

- @iron--and--blood

The last time we were in London there was really only one day for sightseeing, the rest were too busy - on top of that, we had three hours in the British Museum and the Roman section was closed due to some issue, so besides that I only have hazier and hazier memories from April last year and the other two times, when I was a child, but I'll try my best.

BRITISH MUSEUM

The Ea-Nasir tablet is, you know, itself. Iconic. You'll have to watch out for it though, it's pretty small (Room 55 or 56, I think 56) and it's just titled "Complaint about delivery of copper" or similarly. Next to it is a piece of Hammurabi Code and on its right some of the Epic of Gilgamesh.

In the same room - or the next room? - there are figures of Mesopotamian doggies and they look insanely cute, very unfitting for the very serious names they have

There's also a neat little swallow on the Egyptian section

The ever-present ghost of my dad most noble history teacher would politely encourage you to take a look at Ram in a Thicket in the Room of Our Lord 55, next to the Standard of Ur

When you exit the Egyptian section upstairs, not the Rosetta Stone one, the other one, there is some fresco (I think it was a fresco?) and it has a fantastic cat. I forgot to take a photo the last time

You can find very funny-shaped drinking cups in Ancient Greece

You are, as well, allowed to touch the copies of the reliefs on Ancient Greek section, a privilege which my friends gladly utilised to sort of immoral extents. Dignity aside, if you'd like to live your Alcibiades in a symposium dream, that's the occassion. I do wish I had the photo with it taken like I was offered to, but we had to go find the teacher. I regret. It was a fun team activity.

South and Southeast Asia is amazing, very pretty exhibits

I don't really remember the rest of the sections because I was a child then and I was very tired. This miserable occurence shall be fixed. I've heard the Enlightenment section is great.

In case you intend on buying something, the shop is most wonderful and you can find all sorts of objects in it. I bought myself a nice medieval-styled brooch, but boy, did I have a hard time choosing. Watch out for the Japanese frog pin.

EVERYTHING ELSE

I profess a great love for the National Gallery, though the last time I was there I was ten. Titian's paintings will forever remain in my heart. I suppose seeing Holbein's Ambassadors is a great experience, but frankly, I don't remember them at all from visiting. Maybe I was too little.

The Wallace Collection is so pretty! They must have closed the exhibition about dogs already, but it's very pleasant to look at. I think that's also where Fragonard's The Swing is.

Natural History Museum is undoubtedly good, though it's not really what I'm interested in, except for the animals. On top of that, the last time I've visited it I had a Zoom meeting and had to frantically hide in corners trying to be as quiet as I can and still explain my view on a Marcus Aurelius quote.

No clue what is going on at V&A right now, but they always have something good.

Never been in the Westminster Abbey, only seen it from outside - and it's already impressive. However, my history teacher says it's stunning.

Same goes for St Paul's Cathedral, only seen it from outside, but it's beautiful

Trafalgar Square is a classic for me, I love this place, and if you visit the National Gallery you're going to be there anyway. Horatio is watching.

I don't like the Thames that much, it's always so dirty, but that's where most of the famous buildings are. They're really close to each other, closer than I thought, most of them. The London landmarks are pack animals.

Watch out for the sculptures near the Parliament! I wanted to take a photo with Fawcett, but I didn't have time.

Chinatown was very fun to visit for me, but I was over the moon anyway, so I don't know how much of that was really Chinatown.

Pray think warmly of all the exhibits from me (them, not the means of obtaining them), and if you happen to see anything from the Shang dynasty, I don't know if there is, think thrice warmer:)

[impossiblesuitcase]

I personally would love to hear your Kaider engagement headcanons 👀 if you’d be willing to share!!

for you, anything <3

this ended up being very wedding planning based oops, I hope you enjoy anyway.

1. They tell their friends they're engaged at the next reunion, four months after the proposal. It's at the farm, and they're all gathered around outside for dinner and just before they start eating, Kai tells everyone they have an announcement to make. He takes Cinder's hand, they both stand up, and she says they're getting married. No one is surprised but everyone is ecstatic. Scarlet is honoured to have it announced at her home (they don't mention that the proposal happened at her home). This starts a tradition of engagements being announced over dinner.

2. Hallway wars. Their engagement is still secret from the public, so while Cinder visits New Beijing Palace for ambassadorial duties, they have to keep it Super. Chill. Instead, they walk around the gardens swinging their hands together and sneak up on each other in the hallways. Cinder pulls faces at him in passing. He jabs her while talking to a dignitary, completely poker faced. He wins because as the attacker or attacked, Cinder always breaks down into giggles.

3. When Cinder became queen of Luna, she hated all the pompous extravagance in the palace while the outer sectors starved, so she asked the chefs to only make her food from ingredients the outer sectors can also access. Although the chefs plate everything magnificently, Cinder gets used to the generally simple ingredients. Flashforward to wedding planning, the Eastern Commonwealth is not being stingy with the wedding. Tashmi Priya briefs the couple on the reception banquet menu of like caviar and truffle hors d'oeuvres and such. Kai is accustomed to all this, but Cinder still has NO experience with fancy foods, resulting in: Kai: "Ah yes, the delicate saltiness of the oysters complements the silk wine nicely." Meanwhile Cinder: "You can eat gold???"

4. Tashmi Priya is back to plan and assembles a guest list of the most influential. She hands the list to Kai and Cinder to approve and Kai immediately takes the stylus and draws a looong line through the names of two particular individuals. "Are you sure?" Priya asks. "Linh Adri and Linh Pearl were invited to the last wedding. You don't want to invite them?" "No," Kai says. "Inviting them would be a great statement of support for the bio-lock—" "No." Cinder just laughs away from his side.

5. Cinder is the worst bride Priya has ever worked for, even more so than Levana. And no, no, no, she's no demanding bridezilla—the opposite actually. She is the worst bride Priya has ever worked for because she has literally no opinions on anything. Tablecloths? Whatever you like. Colour schemes? They're all pretty. Kai and Iko make most of the decisions for Cinder's inaction, and when Cinder does contribute it's nothing good. Her seating plan places two known political rivals on the same table until Kai swaps it out. She spends all her time practising her first dance with Kai only to remember that dress has a train the length of the great wall of old China. Priya is at her wits end until: *yoda voice* there is another.

Captain Carswell Thorne is still on the tails from patching together Wolflet's wedding and one too many episodes of modern Say Yes to the Dress. He swoops in on Cinder's behalf and does excellently. Yes Captain, those colours do work together perfectly. Yes, that song should be played as the couple walk down the aisle. It leads to Kai and Thorne working together of all things, a blessing and a curse. And more often than not, Thorne forces Cinder to accompany him in his acting-bride duties and thus stakes his place as official third-wheel (Iko argues she's always held that title).

6. Kai actually comes along to Cinder's wedding dress fittings and gives his input. Iko is pretty unhappy with it, tradition and all, but he does make some good observations and Cinder really appreciates his opinion. It also makes it a little more real for her to have her husband to-be saying he's so excited to see her in that dress on their wedding day. Eventually, Iko totally bans him—nothing much gets done with all the flirting. Cinder then likes to lord it over Kai for the rest of the engagement: "we've changed the dress a lot, not that you would know." It is different on the day, but some of his earlier notes are still obvious in the design. Cinder's smile is his favourite part.

7. Constant jokes about eloping. So much so that maids overhear and everyday there's newsfeeds about how they're secretly already married and pregnant and covering it up etc. etc. In truth, Kai and Cinder don't care when or how they get married, in a courthouse or a barn, but they know this union is important to the public. So they don't elope, and the wedding is ridiculously opulent, but everyone in the universe celebrates and supports them and their love on this day and that's a pretty great feeling.

[sl33py-g4m3r]

excited to be using linux on my big screen computer~~

a cool thing I've noticed is that linux I think takes up significantly less space than windows ever did. and I'm just running the cinnamon desktop~~!!

out of the 256 gb of space on the initial OS drive, I've got 217 gb left. windows I forgot how much it left me with tho...

Linux mint is nice so far~~ especially the second hard drive being password protected to mount; rather than being accessible to anyone using the computer.

installed vlc as a media player and now idk what other applications I'd need.

or if I even have enough space currently to try to get steam games working. as the terabyte hard drive is cluttered with anime and music I've saved. and where all of my data is stored separate from the os.

one thing I lost tho that I had forgotten about was my progress in cookie clicker, as I was playing through that, and i don't remember when my last backup was or how much I've lost. By the time I realized I hadn't backed it up, the install was already in progress and it was far too late.

I like cinnamon so far~~ the keyboard shortcuts to reveal all the different desktops,, even found zoom features that are really useful. I thought you had to pinch or push your fingers apart while pushing the hotkey toggle like you do on iphones to zoom in on pictures and stuff, but no. just slide your fingers from the top of the touchpad to the bottom to zoom in, and reverse to go back to small.

I never used zoom on windows; much to my detriment, lol. bad vision is bad. I'm saying it again even tho it might not be relevant here, I'm legally blind. left eye bad vision, right eye none whatsoever. I never liked on board zoom on windows and i'm not sure why... this is nice.

I'm still excited cause I've always wanted to run linux on my big screened gaming pc, but it would never boot. come to find out I was installing grub in the wrong place... needed it on dev/sda1 instead of dev/sda itself. I guess because 1 is the first part of the disk?

hopefully much less spywarey than windows~~ and more secure. I've always assumed that linux/unix/bsd were more secure than windows in general.

funny enough when I first found these types of operating systems as a teenager a long time ago, I jumped into the deep end and immediately tried FreeBSD first. then backed off and stuck with fedora, opensuse for a bit, then to the more user friendly stuff like ubuntu, and linux mint. then many years later I stopped liking what whomever makes ubuntu was doing, and switched to mint, but they still used ubuntu's base, so now I use debian based stuff.

there's my entire fore into linux from being a teenager to now, lol. also very fanboyish high school report on how linux/unix was better than windows. before I even started using linux proper. ahhhh the cringe.

sucks a bunch of corporate stuff doesn't work with linux; cause I'm always seeing like the eye doctors operating systems being windows, and I'm always like "why don't you use linux?" the reason is they want their technology and stuff to work. like it won't on linux?

positive experience and a positive rant~~~ still going to tag it as rant anyway tho~~

[basuralindo]

You'll Have Me Rise ch.16 is up!

And I finally got to properly include Cater! (he's kind of a crossover from @terrible-eel's Trey/Cater fic!)

This time it's also featuring editing by @kamikazequail, so, if you notice an overall improvement in the polish, you know who to thank!

Also, thank you to everyone for being so supportive and patient this past week. It's been hellish, but you've all been great, and I'm glad to be able to pull back and put some time into something nice for a bit.

Now, I know I'm missing a few chapter notes that I wanted to mention on this, but I've been trying and failing to remember them since last night so I'm giving up for now (just leave a comment if you wanna hear my thoughts on something specific). Anyway the rest, as always, is under the cut

-Soooo about my "Kalim grew up around brutal assassination attempts and his only friend was a trained killer and overall he's just completely desensitized to graphic or spooky shit" theory? Slasher films must be more chill than his last family reunion,

-Hey so did I mention I love Cater and Lilia? This was my first time trying to write them, and I feel like it was clumsy, but I really wanted to show an outside view of Kalim and Jamil's dynamic through someone who's more familiar with modern human society. I feel like anyone observing these guys interact is eventually gonna experience that skincrawling dread of "something is not okay at home"

-Also yeah I imagine Jamil having the most deeply uncomfortable vibes once he's in his own environment. Like, the housewarden chambers is where he doesn't usually have to perform and mask for other people the same way, so once he drops the act a bit there's gotta be some sinister, angry detached shit under it all. Not to mention all the hostile magic woven into the area to protect Kalim. Kalim, of course, is desensitized to all this because that's just what his lifelong friend feels like. It's probably cozy

-Oh? The scarabia duo starting to develop wildly different english dialects as they spend more time with people of their choosing instead of assigned company? Big time side agenda to show an immediately perceivable metric of them growing into themselves separate of each other as time goes on? Couldn't be

-Speaking of language: I think I've mentioned before that Jamil allows himself to admit ignorance and ask questions to Azul more, because Azul always takes him seriously and doesn't try to embarrass him for not knowing a word or phrase. There's trust and respect there. With Cater he's also asking more questions because he knows Cater has been helping to tutor Kalim with some decent success, and is willing to test the waters a bit. Partially because he can barely keep up with Cater's lingo and is treating it like learning a new dialect, which he knows he'll need some help figuring out.

-Notes on their speech: Jamil focuses a little obsessively on impeccable grammar, vocab, and pronunciation in the hopes of not giving anyone more material to criticize him. He struggles more with casual lingo and slangs because of this (and not socializing much in general), and is afraid to fuck up at contractions so he tends to drop them when stressed/flustered or over text (some are easier than others, like I'm and it's vs don't and won't). Since he mostly learns from Azul lately, his speech skews even more towards formal and anachronistic. Kalim isn't that concerned with accuracy. He likes to socialize and starts up casual conversation easily, so he picks up a lot more slangs and dialectical quirks but doesn't apply himself to learning "proper" english much. He's able to navigate casual conversation well, but often fucks up at unfamiliar vocab and grammar rules, and doesn't sweat correct use of things like conjunctions so long as he can get the general point across. Cater helps him out a lot, so he picks up a lot of Cater's terminology and cadence and ends up sounding much more modern than Jamil. So, their differences in speech aren't a matter of intellect, just a difference in learning style and social values.

-So, Cater's supposed to be from the shaftlands, and his Halloween vignette mentioned moving a lot and never really fitting in, so I'm choosing to believe that he moved to the queendom of roses as a kid and had to transfer around there a bunch growing up.

-Headcanon that, because there weren't a lot of mages around the palace, and even less who would spare time to teach a servant, Jamil is mostly self taught. The result of that being a lot of kinda juryrigged practical spells that, once mastered, ended up being modified in various ways for whatever needs they could apply to. The things that weren't so self taught were mostly curses and assassin techniques passed down through his family, which also got modified over time for practicality and protecting Kalim. So a lot of his magic just feels immensely uncomfortable, like protection wards that are actually modified curses and shit like that. The rest is just very noticeably different from standard teaching, and of course Jamil doesn't want anyone to know he's invented so many of his own spells, so he downplays and straight up lies about it if asked

-Writing from Cater's perspective was a lot harder than I expected, but I really like him and wanted more of him in the story. And again, an outside perspective on this whole situation is much needed imo. Just, let someone actually look at Jamil and see that he hasn't gotten to be young yet

-The whispers movie is a reference to the Suspiria remake. The way dance is used for spells in that partially inspired Jamil's sandstorm dance in the first chapter, and it seemed like something he'd like

-Anyone: "Don't worry about it." Jamil: *Worry intensifies*

-Cater is out here holding the emotional intelligence and basic social skills of the entire school together. There wasn't a lot to go around, but he's making it work.

-I love the idea of like, between the preferential treatment and Jamil's own warped standards, his description of the octatrio and their merits being completely unrecognizable to the rest of the school. I don't think Cater would have been so encouraging if he knew who he was encouraging Jamil to give the benefit of a doubt to.

-Headcanon slightly supported by actual canon: I think Floyd has a relatively photographic memory, and he shows affection by taking note of the things that make people light up, and supporting those hobbies/interests with little relevant gifts, or just encouraging them to explore and talk about it and listening to them infodump. If it's particularly important to them he'll learn up on it enough to hold a real conversation. Since Azul and especially Jade are the type to get really deeply invested in every little detail of an interest, and he sees that Jamil seems to happily talk to both of them about that kind of thing, he figures there's a good chance Jamil would enjoy being bombarded with informative material and the like too.

-Since I'm bringing up Floyd's love language, I might as well add that I think Azul would deeply investigate to determine what someone might want from him, then try to provide it at a level above and beyond all expectations (partially driven by an obsession with proving his worth. potentially disastrous results when he misjudges what was actually wanted). Jade would give little gifts of things that a) he thinks they'd like, b) he wants to see how they'll react to, and/or c) he wants them to have because he likes the idea or aesthetic of it for them. These almost never include things they actually ask for, because it's more fun to experiment than just do something with guaranteed results. And he'd gift an overwhelming amount of these little things constantly, half because he gets a thrill out of seeing the reactions, and half because he wants the recipient to always feel the presence of his affection.

-Jamil, meanwhile, would probably show care through acts of service because it's all he knows so far (this may change over time as he heals). His hate language would be malicious compliance.

-Okay so I think Cater is absolute drunk aunt friend? I think he compulsively adopts people and drags everyone else into it and makes a whole project of helping them, and then ditches out for several weeks to have his own secret crisis. Then he pulls himself together and comes back chipper and doubles down on the project to keep his mind off of his issues because if everyone else is happy then he can fake it till he makes it. …I also think Riddle's overblot was a little traumatic and the idea of another one happening is freaking him out.

[zulufic]

ooh. any director's cut notes on je me souviens? i know that's an older one, so no pressure if you don't have much to say, but it's one of the very best in the fandom imo. thanks!

OMG I am so sorry I let this linger a zillion years! Thank you so much, it's one of my favourite stories as well.

It has been a long time so let me think…

I know at the time I was on a real fandom kick. The story came together nicely because structurally it's one of my favourite things: rewriting an episode to suit my pairing. I was doing that a lot at the time, I had an ambition once of rewriting each season 3 episode in a way that would divert the inevitable tragedy and fix things by making them Buffy/Faith: mostly, making them communicate. Ski Trip was this for Amends, and Gingersnap was this for Gingerbread; Walkabout and Smitten also come from this era.

Now amnesia has always been one of my favourite tropes for several reasons. First, because you can decide to what extent memory shapes character. How much of the characters we know is caused by their experiences, and how far can we 'rewind' them using amnesia; as opposed to, how much of them is formed at some deeper, unconscious level, below the surface of memory? I love exploring these things!

Plus of course add on the body switch. How much is action determined by physicality: by hormones, by muscle memory, by those lingering PTSD symptoms that are ingrained at the level of the body rather than the level of thought?

Now this very much sets the "conscious self" in opposition/binary to the "unconscious self" and I have no idea if any of that makes sense in "real life" or in terms of but at the level of *story*? Man I eat that shit up! So it's 'magical amnesia' in that sense: it follows the rules I decide on, for the purposes of ultimately bringing my ship together!

In this case, that means that Faith doesn't wake up and immediately want revenge. She's cautious, she's patient. And that thoroughly knocks Buffy off whatever high horse she generally prefers to ride. It forces communication because Faith literally does not know what happened. And that communication, by extension, forces Buffy to think about and acknowledge her role in the divide between them. So Buffy has to be responsible to her past self, and so does Faith, so the issue of *time* comes into it as well, and also *forgiveness*. Forgiveness of others and of ourselves...that requires memory. We can't forgive what we don't remember.

Anyway, plus the hotness of the bodyswitch, can't forget that. The description of looking at yourself and being turned on by yourself but also by...yourself...well, you see what I mean. I couldn't let that opportunity pass me by.

I don't really remember much of the writing *process* or what I was thinking because that was a while ago, but I remember that I was fully absorbed in the fandom and the characters at the time, writing in every spare minute--rather like these days with ALOTO. So I think that's a sort of hyperfixation that takes over sometimes, and I know by now to ride the wave as long as it lasts, and not to get too discouraged when it inevitably fades. A new fandom will come along.

[daylander1000]

I swear this fandom is becoming more and more insufferable every day which is scary not to mention it's at least one more year of wait until season 2. I don't want even to imagine what it's going to be like when it actually airs. I've been in other fandoms, including the GoT one, but this level of toxicity, aggression, tribalism and hypocrisy is unreachable. What is with this show that encourages such behaviour? I really don't understand. I used to be team green (I still am kind of) during the show, especially the second half and after the show ended because I hated the way many black stans were acting towards anyone who didn't share their opinions and the way they talked about green characters (and even the actors) in general. Also, the framing of the show with it's good vs bad guys concept was annoying af so it wasn't hard to choose TG, at least to me. However, now I'm not even sure I care enough. It's so difficult to discuss anything show related normally and nust because all this toxicity soured the whole hotd experience to me now I'm more than anything team anti hotd fandom. That's why your fic is literally the last hotd related thing I'm looking forward to so atm so thank you for actually giving something good to this wretched fandom 😩. Seriously, Aemond and Rhaena should follow my example and just be done with everyone and everything lol. Anyway, I'm (not so😁) patiently waiting for the next update. I don't know anymore if I'll watch season 2, but I'll definitely read swhhw.

I get you. At large, it's not a fun fandom to be in. I remember when there was a petition to stop Matt Smith from being Dr Who on the grounds of him being too ugly, so in a sense it's a little amusing to see how he's inspired this whole "Choke me daddy" rabid fanbase... But other than that, it's really not much fun. People take everything as fighting words. They're attacking real people to defend fictional characters written by a man who hasn't even finished his series as yet after a decade long hiatus...

I don't even get the joy of reading other fics really, because I try to reduce the odds on me 'stealing' someone else's fic idea. Like, I know fair is fair and it's all fanworks, but I'll literally read something, go to sleep, incept myself, and wake up like "you know what would be really cool???" and it's only when I'm reading it all over that I'll realize that I've split off on a whole different unrelated tangent and have to course correct. I'm trying to write better and faster and cut down on how distracted I get. For example, writing while commuting feels productive but it really isn't, not how I do it. I get so distracted... I'll be editing and realize, "No, you can't write that. That's a line from a Hozier song."

HotD doesn't deserve the time or the energy. Like, I look at the word count of swhhw and question all my life decisions. But the rhaemond fandom is so nice and so small, you can't help it. It's like an oasis in a radioactive wasteland.

I'm also kinda doing it for Team Dyslexia and Team Dysgraphia in a sort of "We can do it!" way?

I really want to finish this before S2 starts.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Potion Commotion by kazoosandfannypacks

Pairing: Cygnet Scholar Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 3.7K words Summary: After briefly getting captured, Hope begins acting strangely, and Gideon tries to help her get back to normal, painfully unaware that the "bizarre questions" she's asking him are pickup lines. Characters: Gideon Gold, Hope Swan-Jones, Henry Mills, Robin Mills, Neal "CJ" [Charming Jr] Nolan, and Charlotte Nolan (OC) Author’s notes: This is an experiment with an AU I plan on writing, in which Henry leads a group of the next generation of heroes on a quest through the enchanted forest. In this timeline, the Charmings have another daughter, Charlotte, who was born less than a year after the S6 finale, and Hope was born about a month later. Taglist: @accidental-spice, @saveme-storybrooke-potc [let me know if you'd like to be added to this taglist!]

also on ao3!

 It'd been hours since Hope went missing. Henry, Robin, C.J. and Charlotte had all left to look for her an hour and a half ago, leaving Gideon waiting in case she came back to the campsite.

 "She never should've wandered off," Gideon muttered to himself as he paced around camp, "she knows it's dangerous. She knows they're watching us. And still, she did it anyway. Who knows what could happen to her?"

 Gideon sighed as he sat down on a log near the firepit, wishing Hope was back at the camp already, giving him a hard time for being so frantic, picking on the unnecessary worry lines he could already tell were forming on his forehead.

 He sprang to his feet, hearing someone coming, and turned to see Hope emerge from the forest, stumbling as though out of a daze.

 "Hope!" he said, running to her while trying to act as cool as possible, "where were you?"

 "Captured," she said, rubbing her forehead, "a couple goons brought me in for questioning. Whatever they gave me to make me talk is giving me the worst headache…."

 She looked up at Gideon, and, for whatever reason, smiled at him.

 "Something must be wrong," Gideon thought. Hope had never smiled at him like that before.

 "Are you alright?" Gideon asked.

 "Besides the headache, pretty good. I've been better though," Hope said, though the unusual smile spread further across her face, "say, Gid, have I ever told you you have, like, really pretty eyes?"

 Gideon scrunched his brow, confused.

 "They were genetically unavoidable," he said, "brown eyes are a dominant trait. Are you sure you're…."

 "You're so smart," she interrupted, "ya know, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'u' and 'I' next to each other."

 "What's the alphabet got to do with any of this?" Gideon thought, though he figured he'd humor her.

 "Uh, I'd do something similar," Gideon said, "it'd be cool to rearrange the alphabet so it's in the order it appears on a keyboard, make it easier to learn to type. Though, I suppose in time, the order on a keyboard will be obsolete, as it'll all be touchscreens one of these days."

 "Wow. Are you from Tennessee?" Hope asked, "because you're…."

 "Hope," Gideon's concern for her wellbeing wouldn't let her finish, "you grew up just down the street from me, in Maine. Are you sure you're alright? They didn't give you a memory loss potion, did they- of course, if they did, you wouldn't know- but you said they gave you something. But what good would it do them to wipe your memory before questioning you? What do you remember from the questioning?"

 "I remember, uh," Hope said, "I think I remember someone saying 'you won't remember most of this,' and then I was back here."

 "Why don't you take a seat?" Gideon asked, leading her back to the log to sit down, "you've had quite the day."

 "Doesn't feel like it," Hope said.

 She sat down on the log. Once Gideon sat down, she slid over a little, closer to him.

 "That's a nice shirt, Gid," she said.

 Gideon tried to help jog her memory, "We got it from the merchant that came by last week, remember? It was fifty percent off."

 "I'd like it to be a hundred percent off," Hope smiled, an eyebrow raised.

 "That would be a ridiculous business model," Gideon said, "stores can't just give stuff away for free."

 "It's like you fell from heaven," Hope shook her head and smiled.

 "That's a low blow," Gideon retorted, trying not to get too angry, knowing that whatever was causing Hope's unusual mood was most likely not her fault, "what, you think I'm some kind of fallen angel or something? Is it because my dad's the Dark One? Sorry we can't all have the Savior for our mom."

 "You don't get it," Hope shook her head, "it's supposed to be a compliment. That you're from heaven."

 "Oh," Gideon thought, finally piecing it together, "it's because I died that one time and came back again. Rest assured, I…."

 Hope put a finger on his lips to shut him up.

 "Gideon Gold, you are the smartest idiot I've ever met," Hope said, then took her finger off his lips and booped his nose with it.

 "What does that mean?"

 "You're so lost in your books that you don't see what's right in front of you- and yet, here I am, right in front of you."

 "I'm not quite sure what you mean," Gideon said, pulling one of the tomes his mom had given him out of his backpack, "but we should try and figure out what kind of potion they drugged you with- maybe I can whip up an antidote or something."

 "You and your one-track mind," Hope said, head shaking, eyes rolling, "whoever said 'guys only want one thing' has never met Gideon Gold."

 "Thanks?" Gideon said, unsure if Hope meant it as a compliment or insult, "can you recall anything about whatever it was they gave you? Color, viscosity, physical side effects, flavor, smell…"

 "Flavor?" Hope asked.

 "Oh yeah," Gideon said, flipping through potential potions, "for example, adder's tongue is a bit tangy, eye of newt has an unmistakable aftertaste. If we can narrow down a few of the ingredients…."

 "I'm not sure if I've ever had eye of newt." Hope said.

 "Believe me, you'd remember if you'd had it," Gideon said, "I went through a whole bottle of mouthwash in a day the first time I tried it."

 "Then I guess I wouldn't be able to recognize its aftertaste," Hope said, then leaned a little closer, "but maybe you'd recognize it."

 "Presumably, yes," Gideon said, "if I were the one given the potion, I might be able to pick out a few of the ingredients."

 "You could try a taste and find out," Hope said, her finger tapping her lips.

 "I'm all for experiential sciences," Gideon said, "but even if you had a sample of the potion, I doubt it'd be wise for me to drink some."

 Hope sighed. "You're lucky you're pretty, Gideon."

 "Thanks," he said. Though he knew her compliment was most likely borne of whatever magic had been used on her, he still didn't mind her saying something nice to him for once, "you, uh, you look nice too."

 "I've always thought so," Hope said.

 "Me too," Gideon thought.

 He continued flipping through the book of potions. He ruled out, for the moment, transmogrification potions, as she very clearly hadn't been turned into a toad or a troll- and though he didn't rule out werewolf as a possibility yet, that wouldn't be an immediate problem anyways. The first concern in situations like this was always the highest risk potions- poisons, neurotoxins, mind control, sleeping curse- then he could move onto the more likely in the scenario, like mood enhancers and late-blooming mutations.

 So engrossed was he in his studying that he almost didn't notice as Hope slid even closer to him, her arm pressed against his, her head practically on his shoulder. He slid the book over a little closer to her, absentmindedly assuming that she'd slid over to read the book as well.

 He also almost didn't notice the search party returning until they were already in the camp.

 "Hope!" Henry called out, running over to give her a hug. Hope got up to return Henry's hug, but Gideon continued his research.

 "Are you alright?" Henry asked.

 "I'm fine," Hope said, "bit of a headache, but I'll manage."

 "I am so glad nothing happened to you," Henry said.

 "I wouldn't say nothing happened," Hope said, pulling out of her brother's embrace and holding him at arm's length, "I got captured by some thugs, but I don't remember most of it."

 "Captured?" Henry asked, "what happened?"

"I already told you, I don't remember most of it," Hope said, "I think they gave me some kind of potion. Gideon's working on figuring that out- he's really smart, and clever, and polite, and sweet, and funny, and…."

 Gideon looked up to see four confused pairs of eyes glancing back and forth between himself and Hope.

 "Whatever they drugged her with has affected her mood," he explained, "I'm not sure how. She's been acting weird ever since she got back to the camp."

 "What kind of weird?" Robin asked, taking a seat next to Gideon and looking at his potion book.

 "I can't explain it," Gideon said, "she keeps asking me all these weird questions, she's smiling more than usual, she's a little nicer than usual too."

 "I don't want to be mean to you, Gideon," Hope said, taking a seat on his other side, "You're so smart, and yet so adorably stupid sometimes, and clever, and cute- really cute."

 "See?" Gideon told the others, "something's not right."

 C.J. and Henry smiled at each other, and so did Robin and Charlotte.

 "What kind of questions was Hope asking you earlier?" Henry asked.

 "Weird ones," Gideon said.

 "They weren't weird," Hope said.

 "You asked me if I'm from Tennessee," Gideon said, "and then you asked if I was from heaven, and told me my shirt should be free, and…."

 "Those weren't questions, idiot," Hope said.

 Robin put her hand on Gideon's shoulder.

 "I think I know what kind of potion they gave her," Robin said, "it sounds like it was a love potion."

 "A love potion?" Gideon scoffed, flipping through the book to that potion, "don't be ridiculous, Robin. There's nothing they'd stand to gain from that, and in order for you to hypothesize that, she'd need to be showing symptoms, like," he read from the book in front of him, "'fawning over an individual, express interest in that individual and their interests, a desire to be close to said individual, longing for affection from said individual, even bordering on obsession.' So as you can see, there's no real grounds for that hypothesis."

 Gideon looked up from the book to see everyone staring at him like he was an idiot.

 "What?" he asked.

 Henry uncrossed his arms, only so he could pinch the bridge of his nose.

 "Those weird questions Hope was asking you," Henry shook  his head, "I think those were pickup lines."

 "Really?" Gideon turned to Hope.

 "Duh," Hope smiled.

 "But that would mean…" Gideon began. If Hope was using pickup lines on him, that meant she was trying to flirt with him, which would mean that… Gideon reread the list of side effects of the love potion.

 "Guys," Gideon said, "I think Hope's been given a love potion."

 "Really?" Robin asked, "gee, what was the first clue?" 

 Gideon looked back down at the book, "her 'express interest' in me, her 'desire to be close' to me, even 'bordering on obsession.'"

 Robin rolled her eyes.

 "I don't think it was a love potion," Hope said, "I don't feel any differently about Gideon than I normally do."

 "Really?" Gideon asked.

 "Oh yeah," Hope said, "I've felt this way about you for a long time. You're cute, and smart, and such a good friend."

 "Really?" Gideon smiled a little and scratched the back of his neck. He'd felt similarly for quite a while as well.

 "That's probably a side effect of the potion," Charlotte interjected.

 "Oh, yeah, there's a lot of side effects" Robin said, taking the book from Gideon. As she looked through it, she got up, taking the book with her.

 "I think her memory's a little fogged too, anyways," Gideon said, "she can't remember anything from the time she was captured to when she got back here."

 "No, I remember something," Hope said, "I remember someone saying 'you won't remember most of this.' Turns out, they were right."

 "That does mean we can work on an antidote though," Gideon said, "now that we know the potion, I can whip up an antidote pretty quickly. I think I have most of the supplies already," he picked up his backpack and began searching through it, "and I might be able to whip up a brain-unfogger too."

 "You're so intelligent, Gid," Hope said, placing a hand on his arm, "I like watching you ramble about magicky, sciencey stuff."

 "Thanks," Gideon smiled, trying to remind himself that the only reason Hope was complimenting him was because she was under some kind of love spell.

 "She'd never act like this if she were really herself right now," Gideon thought, "I definitely would've remembered if she did." 

 "And now that we know what we're looking for, we might be able to find a clue as to where those goons went," Charlotte said, "we should see if we can find them, while the tracks are fresh." 

 "Sounds like a good idea," Hope stood up, "I can lead you as far as I can remember."

 "You need to stay here," Robin said, "that way when Gideon gets that antidote finished, we can get you back to normal."

 "Oh, good," Hope said, taking a seat next to Gideon, "I wanted to stay here anyways."

 "Excellent," Gideon said, "I could use your help with the potion anyways."

 "We do work pretty well together," Hope nudged him.

 "I think I'll hang back too, just in case" Henry said, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at Gideon. "I'd hate for anything else to happen to my little sister."

 Hope rolled her eyes. "I'm not a little girl anymore, Henry."

 "But you'll always be my little sister," Henry said, "and if anything happened to you, especially given your current state, dad would probably kill me- and then whoever it was who took advantage of you."

 Gideon looked up at Henry, sensing this was meant as a threat against him. If anyone else had a lovely young lady like Hope falling all over him like this, they'd definitely take advantage of the scenario- but if something were to happen between himself and Hope, he'd want it to be her choice, not because of some kind of potion. Besides, as Henry had reminded him, Gideon had a healthy level of respect for her father, and would rather die on the spot than find out what happened when you crossed Captain Jones.

 "No need to worry," Gideon said, trying to ignore how close Hope was sitting next to him.

 "Believe me," Hope rolled her eyes, "Einstein over here wouldn't know I was flirting with him if I sat in his lap and begged him to kiss me."

 Gideon blushed, almost wishing she would, wondering what it would be like- though after this fiasco was over, he wouldn't be surprised if things were so awkward between them that any chance they had was ruined.

 Henry raised a disapproving eyebrow at his sister.

 "It's not like I would do that," Hope said, "not that I wouldn't want to- but love potion or not, I have at least a little dignity."

 "Besides, we could use your help out there, Henry," C.J. said, "it never hurts to have an extra pair of eyes."

 "Fine," Henry said, "just stay out of trouble, alright?"

 "I'll do my best to," Hope said, "but I can't promise I won't try anything funny."

 "Hope…."

 "I'll be good!" Hope said, "mostly?"

 "I won't try anything," Gideon said, as Robin handed him back the book, "I've got this antidote to work on anyways. We'll come help as soon as I get it figured out."

 "Alright," Henry said. He and the others left, leaving Hope and Gideon at the campsite.

 "So, what can I do to help?" Hope asked.

 "Here, hold this," Gideon said, pulling an empty vial out of his backpack.

 Hope took the vial from him, her hands on his as she did so.

 Gideon smiled a little as he let go and pulled a few ingredients out of his bag.

 "You have a really nice smile," Hope said.

 His really nice smile came out again. "Thanks," he said.

 "You're welcome," she said, "I think you're really handsome."

 "It's just the love potion talking," Gideon shook his head. He began pouring the antidote ingredients in the vial.

 "I don't think so."

 "What do you mean?"

 "I know you guys all think it's a love potion, but I don't," Hope said, "I don't feel any different around you than I normally do."

 "You're certainly acting differently," Gideon said.

 "I know," Hope said, "it's like I can't stop myself. I've said a few things already that I didn't expect myself to say. I don't want to tell you I think you're gorgeous and that the sound of your voice when you're talking about your favorite school subjects is my favorite sound in the world, and that one time your mom told me she liked me better than you and that in third grade I was the one who stole your Star Wars pencil, not Charlotte- but I can't stop saying stuff."

 Gideon looked up at Hope, who looked just as surprised as he felt.

 "What was that?" Gideon asked.

 "I stole your Star Wars pencil in third grade," Hope said, "and I didn't want to tell you that. I've never told anyone that, except Charlotte, of course- and I don't want to tell you any of this, but I can't stop."

 "What other secrets have you been keeping?" Gideon asked, formulating a new hypothesis and flipping back through his book.

 "I didn't actually roll a nat twenty when we were battling the orc king," Hope said, "the stakes were high, so I used one of the loaded D&D dice my dad got me for my birthday. He also actually looks up to you a lot. Oh, and Henry still sleeps with a nightlight, and Charlotte actually really loves apples, she's just been saying she doesn't because she wants to be like her mom. I'm also pretty sure C.J.'s afraid of sheep. I don't know why I told you all of that; I really didn't want to."

 "I know why you did," Gideon said, taking the vial from her and handing her a pinch of something else, "try some of this."

 Hope licked the powder off her hand, and immediately spat it out.

 "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted!" Hope said, "besides those burned gingerbread men you made last Christmas."

 "Ever tasted anything like that before?" Gideon asked.

 "No, and I never want to again," Hope said.

 "Wait," Gideon looked back down at the ingredient, "my gingerbread cookies tasted worse than eye of newt?"

 "Eye of Newt?" Hope asked, "that stuff you used a bottle of mouthwash to wash out?"

"Ground eye of newt, yes," Gideon said, "it's one of the primary ingredients in most basic love potions."

"But I've never tasted it before in my life," Hope said, "no amount of 'brain fogging' could make me forget that- and yes, your gingerbread cookies were awful- ginger's a flavor, not the main course- I just didn't want to make you feel bad because you were so proud of them."

 Gideon flipped a few pages over in the potions book.

 "I have a new hypothesis," he said, thankful that the base antidote for this potion was only a few ingredients off from the love potion antidote- and that he hadn't put those different ingredients in yet. He handed the vial back to Hope, adding a couple other ingredients as well.

 "Try this," Gideon said, as he swirled the mixture together.

 "And this'll fix me?" Hope asked.

 "If my hunch is correct, yes," Gideon nodded.

 "Alright," Hope said, "there better not be any eye of newt in here."

 Gideon watched expectantly as she drank the contents, down to the very last drop.

 "Well?" Gideon asked, "how do you feel?"

 "Better," Hope said.

 "Any other secrets you wanna share?" Gideon asked.

 "No," Hope said, "and if you tell Henry I told you about the nightlight or the loaded die, I'll flatten you."

 "Your secret's safe with me," Gideon smiled at her threat. That was the Hope he remembered.

 "I just threatened you," Hope said, "and you aren't all that smart, or cute. You did it, Gold! You cured me!"

 Excited, she threw her arms around him in a quick hug.

 "I, uh," he said, flipping back through his book, "I can whip up a memory antidote too."

 "You'd better," Hope said, gently shoving him.

 Gideon smiled as he got started on the memory potion, secretly hoping that remembering the details of her capture wouldn't make her realize what serum she'd actually taken earlier.

 Gideon was right when he'd insisted there was no way Hope was under a love potion's spell- which meant that every word she'd just said was true. She did steal his pencil in the third grade, and she did hate his gingerbread cookies, and she did think of him as smart and pretty, and she didn't not want to ask him to kiss her, and she did feel that way for a long time.  She did like him, and that was the truth- otherwise, the truth serum antidote he'd just made for her wouldn't've brought her back to normal.

 "Try this," Gideon said, handing her the memory potion.

 "Is there…?"

 "There's no eye of newt in this one either," Gideon said.

 "Just checking," Hope said. She quickly drank the contents of the vial.

 "What do you remember now?" Gideon asked.

 "It wasn't a love…" she whispered under her breath.

 "Hmm?" Gideon asked.

 "I told them so much," Hope quickly covered her tracks, "where our camp is, our attack plans- I told them everything."

 "It's alright," Gideon said, giving her a pat on the arm to reassure her.

 "I couldn't stop myself," Hope shook her head, "I… I wasn't strong enough."

 "It's alright," Gideon said, "probably just a side effect of the love potion."

 "What?" Hope asked.

 He didn't let his eyes shift from hers, hoping he could feign sincerity.

 "The love potion," he said, "the one they gave you. Probably made you loose-lipped, more liable to talk. Don't sweat it."

 "Right," Hope nodded, "the love potion. That's all it was."

 If Hope ever wanted to tell him the truth, she could on her own time- she'd done more than enough of that already today.

 And for now, her secret was safe with him.