#anyway my feels are off the charts today

[ygodmyy20]

Listening to the frozen 2 soundtrack again (but for the first time since watching mob psycho) and just my brain went OHHHHHH

I....think I have a specific type of character I really like

[moominsuki]

✎ᝰ BAKUGOU KATSUKI ; — let me baby you on your birthday. will you let me, katsuki? (bakugou birthday special)

word count: 1.7k

࿄ ! warnings — f!reader, handjob (m!receiving), very suggestive, lowkey cum-eating, lots of praise (m!receiving), subby!bkg / note. happy birthday katsuki, my lil firecracker.

some days are more rough than they usually are on katsuki. albeit, as a pro hero, most days are rough - on not only his body, but his mind and emotional state too. the constant bossing people around because they’re “incompetent fucks” as he would put it, and the micromanaging he has to implement onto his sidekicks because they can’t take out a small gang orchestrating an armed robbery at the local bank.

katsuki knew this came with being a pro but it didn’t make the bags under his eyes less dark or the weight of his tired footsteps less heavy as he went through days on autopilot. he loved the notoriety that came with being the number one but this? this was getting to him more than he was letting on.

that’s where you come in. his lovely, sweet, caring girlfriend. now, you didn’t enjoy telling your boyfriend to take breaks or to slow down, lest you get faced with a hard, vermillion-eyed glare and a bastion of words telling you that he “needed to do this to elevate his career,” and that “there were no breaks if he wanted to stay number one on the charts.”

you let it slide a lot of the time, knowing that your boyfriend was at the height of his career. even when he missed important dates or dinners with the parents - you know that this was an integral part of his life and it’s what you signed up for. well, that was until today.

april 19th. the day before his 25th birthday.

katsuki never took his birthday seriously - not unless the people around him made a big fuss about it. and ever since he had started dating you, every birthday had been extravagant. whether it was a home cooked meal, a fancy restaurant and buying him his favourite collector’s items, he knew that you would never let him just get old and move on. which is why you were having this current, heated discussion.

you’re standing in the kitchen, chopping onions as you sternly say his name,“katsuki.” he wants to roll his eyes and tell you to just forget about it but he opts to just doing the latter, not wanting to invoke even more fury in your spirit.

“just forget about it, y/n. ‘s MY birthday. if i don’t care about it, you don’t have to either,” he argues, taking off his muddy caked up boots and throwing them in his bag. he had already had a garbage day because the coffee maker in his office has stopped working and suddenly no one knew who’d broken it.

to make matters worse, a mission went to shit with deku not being specific with the villain’s whereabouts, thus compromising his position in the mission and almost killing multiple civilians. his back was aching and his throat was scratchy from the strain of shouting at idiots all day.

“what kind of girlfriend would i be if i just did nothing for your birthday? no, i refuse to have this discussion. you absolutely don’t need to go in tomorrow,” you say indignantly and the sound of your chopping and diving gets more precise and sharp and katsuki decides to just half indulge in your wishes - too tired to argue with you.

“fine, whatever you want. you win,” katsuki grumbles, walking over to you while you throw some stuff in the pan and resting his chin on your head and you can feel his weary body looming over you.

you turn to look at katsuki and plant a kiss on his nose at him being so agreeable. but you knew deep down that he would probably try to defy you anyway so you had to make sure he wouldn’t leave your grasp on his special day.

after katsuki washes up and you both eat a lovely pre-birthday dinner, your boyfriend tries to settle into bed and you place a hand on his bare chest, resting a leg over his waist.

“something wrong?” katsuki asks with a quirked brow and his breath hitches slightly when you plant wet kisses to his jaw and his neck while your hand descends lower to his jogging bottoms.

“should be asking you that, ‘ki. you’re so tense, baby. can feel how tight your muscles are just from touching you,” you hum against his stubbled jaw and katsuki groans quietly under his breath at your unabashed attention all on him.

“can i give you an early birthday’s gift?” you whisper, still laving kisses on his adam’s apple and neck. katsuki gulps, nodding, his golden-blond eyelashes batting against his sharp and tan cheekbones.

“yeah, course,” he hums and a pleasant rumble shakes through his chest when your leg slips in between his legs and you palm against his semi hardon that’s starting to chub between his thick, tan legs.

“want you to know i’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished at this age, kats. don’t know anyone more deserving of being the number one hero,” you say with a saccharine lilt to your voice and your hand slips under his both his joggers and pants to palm at him properly and you watch the way your boyfriend pants pathetically, his hips lifting up slightly to meet your touch, only to remove your hand to get him to push down his trousers and katsuki gets the memo immediately; frantically pushing down both his briefs and joggers in one swift movement.

you take a moment to spit on your hand and a hint of a whine catches in the back of his throat when he lets you further entangle your smaller thigh with his much bigger one, so you can get better access to his cock. you grab at his throbbing cock and languidly stroke him, from his angry-red tip with dribbles of precum to his heavy, weighty balls that were now shiny and wet due to the mixture of pre and your spit.

“so big, so strong. you’re so good at what you do and i’m so proud of you katsuki, just wanna show you how much i mean it,” you sweetly say and the raspy whimper that leaves his lips sounds so desperate, so unlike him. his hips rise to meet your touch and you speed up to reach every inch of his heavy cock.

you continue to praise him through touching his cock, “you’re such a good boy, kats’. so good at leading, so good to me. just want you to let me take care of you sometimes. will you let me?” and his hips jerk into your fist harder now.

“o-oh, baby, f-uck me, fuuuuck-” he moans gruffly and his eyes roll into the back of head when your thumb pays attention to the head of his cock, pressing into his slit and rubbing at what seems to be a never ending stream of precome.

“you’re gonna come for me, baby? you deserve it so so much, sweet boy. let me do this for you, ‘kay? look at how much you needed this,” you whisper into his slightly open mouth, his pink tongue peeking out and you both look down to see his wet and shiny cock and your soaked hand that’s tugging at him, all hard and fast.

“oh-ohhhh, urgh, fuck-fucken, gonna fucking come,” he moans and he looks gorgeous like this: katsuki’s face is scrunched up, a little pink in the cheeks and a tiny ‘o’ forms on the planes of his lips. his eyebrows are furrowed deeply and he doesn’t know what to with himself and opts to throwing one beefy, tatted arm across his eyes and another gripping tightly at your panty-clad ass.

with your hand busy jerking him off, you use your other to rub at his chest and thumb at pale brown nipples and then you slow down because you want him to see what you’re about to do to him before he reaches his limit.

he moves his arm when he notices you slow down and smile at him so sincerely, so bright and kiss his cheek.

“shh, just relax, ‘kay, baby? wanna see your pretty face when you come,” and you speed up all over again and you lean up slightly so you can use your unoccupied hand to thumb at the taint of his cock - the sensitive, veiny part that meets his balls and katsuki reels at the touch.

he’s all choked up with unshed tears wanting to fall down his face at your ministrations and the constant fondling at the base of his cock is too much for him, “hmmfgg - fuck, fuuuuck, right there, ‘m gonna come, shit, don’t, fuckk - don’t fuckin’ stop, ohhhh,” katsuki begs and he doesn’t know whether he’s begging for you to not stop talking or to keep touching him or both.

your clit practically beats out of your panties just looking at him reaching his climax and you talk him through it as the first spurts of his orgasm hit your arm and his pelvis, “so proud of you, kats’, just like that, yeah, babyyy, give me all of it, so good for me, huh?” you tease, with a sickly amount of sweetness and a hint of smirk in your voice and katsuki humps your hand until he’s spilt himself all over the expanse of his lower body and all over your hand and arm.

“fuck me,” your blond boyfriend breathes out, sniffling a little and quickly wiping his wet eyes and he leans on his elbows to assess the mess he made.

“you came a lot this time,” you giggle, poking fun at your hothead of a man and you lift your hand to suck at one of your fingers and katsuki’s eyes darken in desire all over again: his hands finding purchase on your waist and playing with the hem of your panties.

“how about you let me apologise by sitting on my face?”

ᝰᝰᝰᝰᝰ

“is dynamight not coming in?” quizzes one of the sidekicks to the secretary and she shakes her head.

“nope. think he’s taking a day off for birthday celebrations. good for him,” she nods and the sidekick agrees.

dynamight comes back on the 21st very content and calm. no one knows what happened but they chalk it up to a great birthday surprise from you.

࿄ ! — all rights reserved © moominsuki. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited.

[stxrslut]

I wanna know how doctor Jj would react if you came in to hospital with bad period pain or something

wrote this as r and jj are already dating (reader has a history of extremely severe period pain)

disclaimer : I don’t have much medical knowledge, so I’ve basically just made this up. don’t use this as real medical advice !!

you’re curled in on yourself at the top of the er bed. the curtains are closed for privacy while you wait for your boyfriend, who you’d specifically requested to treat you.

your back is hurting and you feel like you need to hurl and scream and pass out all at the same time, you’re also really hungry and your legs ache, and so does your head. it’s no secret that your periods totally suck.

jj pulls the curtain open, already halfway through greeting you when he actually clocks that it’s you who’s there. his eyebrows furrow in concern as he closes the curtain and walks over to you, lifting your gaze to him. “babe what’s happening? thought you were goin’ out with kie today?”

you sniffle, wiping your cheek off “couldn’t.. my cramps got real bad again… jus’ didn’t know what to do n’ I couldn’t find any pain meds.. it hurts jayj.”

he tsks, kissing you on the forehead and placing one hand on your stomach. “s’it like last time? same typa’ stuff?” he questions carefully, dipping his head down a tiny bit to listen.

“yeah,” you nod “got a really heavy flow too.” he listens to this, picking up your chart that the nurse had put there after your initial assessment.

“can you lie back for me?” he asks, already moving one hand to your shoulder to help you. you just look at him unsurely, “last time I laid back I felt really queasy…”

he chuckles, “there’s a basin right here for that reason. I need you to lie back if you want me to help you.” you huff but comply anyway, whining when the pain amplifies.

“you’re good,” he soothes, beginning to feel around your abdomen for anything abnormal, when he’s confirmed that there isn’t he lets you sit back up. “I’m just gonna take your vitals— but I don’t think there’s anything going on that we can find right now… we’ll get you some of the good meds though.”

you nod, looking up at him like he’s a true hero as he keeps talking, “might wanna think about getting you a test for endometriosis but— that’s for another day, you’re in too much pain at the moment. arm up please.”

you lift your arm for him to wrap the equipment around and then hold onto his own hand, scrunching your face up at the strange sensation. he smiles, looking at the screen and nodding in approval when he sees your vitals are all okay.

he unhooks you and kisses your forehead before going off to get you a prescription for some pain meds.

when he returns he hands you the small piece of paper, “if you just go to the counter at the pharmacists across the road they’ll have it ready for you, take it home and have it with food okay? I’ve cleaned up enough puke today.”

you giggle at his little poke “Bailey has you on scut again?” you ask, already knowing the answer.

“yes… but it’s totally not my fault this time!”

[blindmagdalena]

My Homelander thoughts today…

Homelander’s s/o showing him photos of them from their childhood, and he can’t reciprocate because he has absolutely none. 😭

(or like one very uncomfortable photo w/Vogelbaum)

oh anon this was a gut punch.

imagine Homelander being the one to pluck the album off the shelf and begin flipping through it. he's curious and doesn't really have any sense of boundaries anyways. he would absolutely hurt his own feelings thumbing through such a perfectly illustrated example of how very, very different your lives were.

there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of photos and videos of Homelander's childhood, but they're not like yours. your photos are birthday parties, trips to the zoo, holidays with your family.

his are growth milestones in sterile white rooms with a height chart. strings of numbers in clean rows. analytics on the evolution of his powers. there's no celebration in it, just the purpose of recording progress.

yours are a commemoration of life. his a tribute to the science that made him.

his eyes are glassy and the set of his jaw is hard.

you have no choice but to start a brand new photo album with him (and ryan!) and hope that celebrating the rest of his years twice as hard, with twice as many photos, can help make up for all that's been missed.

[kiwiana-writes]

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday

Thanks for the tag @hgejfmw-hgejhsf and @onthewaytosomewhere - it's always nice when I'm not kicking the week off lmao. I didn't get a lot of writing done this week because I was busy editing the Going Platinum podfic I posted today, but I've powered through so I have something to share!

Rockstar Alex is now officially fully epistolary, because I figured out how to get #3 from the five fun facts game into a fully epistolary format. If you are thinking to yourself, "Great! If it's fully epistolary then it can't hurt as much!" I would advise you to turn to your nearest Schitt's Creek fandom buddy who has read my fics in that fandom and ask them how they feel about chapter 5 of Meet me out at the end of my rope (aka angstapalooza), and calibrate accordingly 😈

SO. Below the cut is a little sneak peek of this with the skin on (and some bonus Reddit comments because when I go epistolary I go balls to the wall), but if you don't want to venture under the cut, enjoy the text version of an r/TIFU post:

TIFU by breaking my no-hookup rule Obligatory ‘this didn’t happen today’ but my friends are still making fun of me days later, so. I’m not a hookup/cruising kind of gay. Full respect to you if you are, it’s just never been my thing - I’m more of a serial monogamist type But it was my friend’s birthday last weekend and we all went out to a gay bar, and I ended up dancing with this guy who… honestly if I describe how off the charts hot he was you wouldn’t believe me anyway, so you’ll just have to trust me on this. He was there with a friend and the friend bought us a few rounds of vodka shots before fucking off somewhere, so me and this guy went back to dancing. And then the dancing was grinding, and then we were making out for a bit before he said he was gonna go to the bathroom with THAT head tilt. You know the one. Even my no-hookups ass knows the one. And yeah, I don’t do hookups, but fuck it. I said yes (I really cannot express how hot this guy was lol) and followed him to the bathroom. I won’t get into all the details but suffice to say getting blown by this dude was a religious experience. I’m just getting to the point of no return when he pulls back all of a sudden. And he’s got tears in his eyes, but I just thought it was from like… well, you know… but then he STOOD UP. I was like “what the fuck dude” and he just started APOLOGIZING, saying something about the song????? I hadn’t been paying attention tbh, I was a bit busy having my brains sucked out through my dick, but this guy just muttered something about the song and his ex and then he LEFT ME in the fucking club bathroom, dick bobbing in the wind. I think I’m back to no hookups from now on tbh. TL;DR: first ever hookup ended with a stranger literally sobbing his way off my dick, and ACD’s new song is a banger, but I’ll probably never be able to hear it without thinking of the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had.

Forever feeling feral for whatever y'all are up to, so tagging @affectionatelyrs @anchoredarchangel @anincompletelist @blairwaldcrf @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @dumbpeachjuice @everwitch-magiks @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @matherines @myheartalivewrites @ninzied @notspecialbabe @orchidscript @rmd-writes @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @ssmtskw @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: Here we go again…

(Sorry friends a bitch was getting crunk the last two days so I did not have time to do this until today❤️)

• Ok before we even start why is he sitting like thiskdmsmsnsnd someone help me.

• So the customization…I told y’all I wasn’t trying to gag too hard when they first revealed MC and this is exactly why cuz once again why we only get braids for textured hair??? They’re not even free like y’all already pissing me off.

• So clearly this season is about zodiac because why else would we only be getting star sign tattoos?

• Meet Jaylin y’all😝😝😝 You’ll be getting all her info soon.

• Everyone hating this swim suit but it actually being my favorite. The others were just ok to me Idk sue me.

• Mind you it’s only been like 2 minutes and we already causing issues.

• I think we’re already getting married tomorrow guys Idk.

• And he has a lion tattoo so that means he’s most likely a Leo and my girl is a Gemini oh look how I ate this pairing up!

• Oh Theo stans I’m so sorry…

• I’m so glad I’ve never ended up getting the guy stuck in the “Day One” couple like I really would just end it all.

• The job options being the exact same…ok! I wanted her to be an athlete anyway😁

• Him assuming that he had a high chance of being picked when Oakley and Jin are present…I just busted out laughing.

• Yeah all this talk about compatibility and these dudes talking about being “magnetized” and “drawn” to us is def giving let’s compare our charts to see if we should fuck each other or not.

• Such a real bitch oh Claudia I love you already💯💯💯

• Sophie telling me to cool it around Jack like I want him…I just busted out laughing again.

• Our date with Theo just feeling like two people building a friendship and not a relationship was nice I would love for it to stay that way tbh (Him like 5 minutes later saying he was trying not to flirt with us can they not do this again like please).

• Jack’s date was a snooze fest who’s shocked? Also him having two moms just makes sense Idk why.

• I am gonna have so much fun replaying this season to do Jin’s route omg this man is too good.

• Yeah I already don’t like Emel. Girl who is bringing yo ass a bouquet at 8 in the morning??? Don’t piss me off.

• Uhhh cuz I’m badder than you, duh!

• Outfit time🥳🥳🥳

• These are cute!

• This is not!

• Right…anyways so!

• Yikes!

• Hehehehe no y’all don’t understand like she is already my bestie fr. Love when one of the girls is here for the fuckshit.

• The drama that be happening sometimes be so stupid like girl. Claudia sitting here telling me everyone was mad at each other on DAY FUCKING ONE because nobody wanted to be with who they were with…do y’all just come on here and then forget how the show works.

• Oh girl just stop like fuuuuck😭😭😭

• Outfit time again✨

• The panties did not need the sheer added.

• This literally being a swimsuit.

• Claudia’s outfit is so cute ugh werk!

• WHY IS THIS MAN BOOTY SO DAMN FAT LIKE OMGGGG😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

• He wanna compete with me so bad!

• I’m cryinggggg why we really living the storybook romance that Emel keep begging for.

• Me & Oakley: “Cheats are the lowest of the low”

• Also Me & Oakley: *Eating each other’s faces off outside*

• Yes please get Emel out of here before she takes Willow’s place and actually starts annoying the fuck outta me.

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Protective

Originally posted on my Wattpad @MayaBishop_is_myWife

Jackson Avery x reader

Jackson POV:

Today was a slow day, crap. Never say it's a slow day when your covering the ER. 

Bailey - "Incoming trauma, multiple vehicle collision and cyclist vs vehicle multiple crush injuries everyone be ready!"

What did I tell you? Anyway I go to get a trauma gown on and y/n comes up next to me.

Y/n - "If there's any open breaks I call dibs." Jackson - "Hey! No fair, whoever gets to them first gets it, okay?" Y/n - "Pleaseee, I haven't been inside an OR for days and I think I'm going insane. I pissed off Derek by accident and now he's letting Lexie scrub in and not me." Jackson - "Fine." Y/n - "Thank you so much!"

She exclaimed and then walked off to go wait for the ambulance. See, if it was anyone else, I would've stood my ground but, it's not just anyone it's y/n/n (your nickname) and it's obvious to everyone but her that I like her. But, oh well, she'll get the hint eventually right?

I walked outside just as the first ambulance arrived.

Paramedic - "Male, 31, crush injuries to the chest and lower abdomen, broken right leg and lacerations to the upper left abdomen!"

I see y/n face light up at the mention of a broken limb, she wants to do ortho so, she's into that kinda stuff. It's adorable to say the least.

We wheel in the guy on the stretcher and transfer him to the gurney. We begin to look at the chest to see if there's any liquid in the cavity and thankfully there isn't but. the abdomen began to swell so we knew he had free flowing liquid in there so we went straight to the OR.

Time skip to when they're finished and the guy's in post-op:

Y/n POV:

I'm currently waiting for this guy we just operated on to wake up. Jackson is bedside me, we're leanig against the nurses station as his eyelids begin to flutter. We make a b-line for his room. 

Guy - "Where am I?" Y/n - "Sir you're in the hospital. You werew involved in an accident involving 3 cars and yourself, you were on your bike. Other than your broken leg, which means we will need to keep you in here for another couple weeks to monitor it and so Dr. Torres can look you over and plan your recovery, your other injuries were fixed in the OR. You had some crush injuries that ruptured your spleen but, because we got in there quick we managed to repair it. The other injuries were superficial. For the sutures we will get Dr. Sloan to come in and check up on them ever other day to make sure it's all healing properly. Forgot to mention, Dr. Sloan is a plastic surgeon and Dr. Torres is an orthopaedic surgeon. Any question?" Guy - "Not about the medical stuff but I do have a question for you sweetheart." Y/n - "Go for it." Guy - "You free tonight? Such a pretty girl like you shouldn't be without a boyfriend." Y/n - "Oh, that's very sweet of you but unfortunately I'm on call tonight." Guy - "That's fine, just come visit me sweetheart. A young thing like you could make any man feel better." Y/n - "We'll see, maybe I'll come see you maybe I won't. Goodbye sir." Guy - "Bye sweetheart!"

I walked out of the room with Jackson close behind me. That man is very flattering but kinda creepy. I'm going to put away his chart when Jackson stopped me. 

Jackson - "Hey, what the hell was that?" Y/n - "What do you mean?" Jackson - "Don't bullshit me y/n. In there with the patient." Y/n - "Oh my god Jackson, I was reciprocating emotions it's basic patient care." Jackson - "Yeah comforting them and sharing concerns. Not flirting with them!" Y/n - "Okay wh- Jackson.." My voice calmed down a lot at this point and I looked him directly in his mesmerising green eyes.  Jackson - "What?!" Y/n - "You're jealous." At this point I was giggling at him. His face contorted into a shocked almost offended face but I didn't care because the blush that covered his face made it obvious that I was right. Jackson - "Wha-what, no I am not." Y/n - "Yeah you are don't deny it." Jackson - "I am not."  Y/n - "Yeah you areeee"

At this point he had accepted defeat and took the chart out my hand and grabbed my hand. I didn't question his actions and just followed him like a lost puppy. We came to a stop outside an on-call room and he opened the door and pushed me inside.

Y/n - "Jackson wha-"

I was cut off by his lips on mine. His arms snaked their way around my waist and pulled me close. My hands were around his neck as his soft lips moved against mine. He turned us around and gently pushed me against the door and pulled away briefly to speak.

Jackson - "I was jealous. Okay? I really like you  y/n/n." I tried to speak but he cut me off. "Don't say anything unless you want me to stop."

He pulled me back in and locked the door. He walked me over to one of the beds and gently laid me down. 

Let's just say I didn't get to go back to the patients room that night.

[gayerthanevertbh]

say your prayers - one.

pairings | dark!priestess!natasha romanoff x reader

– summary: your school have church service once every week. of course, as a good little schoolgirl you are, you attend to it. which means you always have to see your priestess, natasha, who you are secretly infatuated with. until there was an unexpected turn that made you feel something else other than good. but maybe, even better.  

– warnings: smut/dark taboo themes - 18+ YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! non-con/dub-con, religious themes, sacrilegious acts, blasphemy of religion, biblical references, rough sex, loss of virginity, dark!natasha, oral sex (r receiving), Mother kink, heavily detailed smut, natasha being a creep, and more.

– notes: this was so well written i’m actually kind of happy about this chapter. there will be more in the future, for now this. enjoy! <3

series masterlist | navigation | taglist for this series

I attend the chapel every week. The school requires you to, so I don’t really have a choice. Usually, my choices are: to drop my scholarship and move to a new school so I don’t have to do all the religious routine or suck it up. And mostly, I do suck it up. Mainly because my parents are believers of God and would be a saint when it comes to him. I’m like that too, I pray and confess my sins and sometimes even ask for help when I do need it. I’m a good girl, as they say. And I am a good girl.

It just simply goes away once I see my priestess once a week.

Ruther Catholic College has been my high school life, I’ve been in boarding school ever since I turned fifteen years old. My parents, who are religious people, think that Catholic schools do good for schoolgirls like me. I am a good schoolgirl, I just have issues that I’d rather not talk about. I have never been vocal about it either, not finding a sense in it since I don’t talk to a lot of people. I do have friends, but I skip my time with them so that I could read my books. I’m an aspiring writer, a journalist. I write the simplest stories that are book worthy and it makes me think that I am talented and educationally smart–since I was raised that way. I’m a Rogers, for Christ’s sake. Of course, being academically smart has to be on the charts.

But I cannot shake off my infatuation with my priestess, Natasha, who is twice my age. She has the kindest eyes that I’ve ever laid my eyes on, all my teachers are bastards and have soggy jawlines. But Mother Natasha has a face of a babe with the maturity that comes with it. Her lips are subtle and thick, and her hands are quite long and neat. She wears this attire every Friday and does the chapel, preaches the word of God, and makes us go to the confession room to reveal our sins with no shame. I still have to wonder who was behind that divider, because there are many women in that church that could possibly be forgiving my sins. I’ve blatantly confessed to many women, not knowing who they are.

Anyway, the humanities building is the largest dorm of all in New York. We have our own rooms, our own food too. But we are still required to go to the cafeteria to say our prayers, to bond with other schoolgirls. I, personally, do like having my own space. The context of someone being in your room can be very intrusive, which I am not fond of. I have a desk that has most of my writings, and poems that are short. On the other side, my single bed was there as well as my long rectangular-shaped window. Beside the door are my bookshelves which have the cross of Jesus Christ above the wooden shelf. I’d invite a friend or two to have a book date, but never less sleep there. There would be a couple of nuns on the watch, especially at night. That means we aren’t allowed to even get out of the building without permission and say where we are headed. Only our parents can pick us up from our school.

Today is Friday which is my luck to see Mother Natasha again. I hiked my white long socks all the way to my knees and got into my black shoes that felt hard on my heels. Though, I have no choice but not to wear them. When I was in the hallway, I could feel the cold breeze of the air. It’s September and it’s the start of my year, I turned eighteen a week ago and spent it with my parents. Some of them say I still act like a fifteen-year-old kid, but I don’t think that way. With how smart I am, I felt like an adult once I reached this age. I see Wanda with her hair tied up that shows off her brunette locks, she smiles at me and brings her arm inside mine.

“Guess what?”

“What?” I asked while trying to stop the itch from my feet, making my face scrunched in a weird look.

“I’m getting a laptop soon!” she says joyfully, squealing with her arms tightening around mine. It hurt, but it didn’t matter. I smiled to silently tell Wanda that I was happy for her, truly I was.

“That’s nice,” I responded with a huff because of the cold wind. “I was wondering when I’m going to get mine. I could write better stories there.”

“You’re always writing and reading, don’t you ever get bored?”

“No,” I huffed again. “Not really. It only keeps me away from reality, I get to choose what it feels like to be loved and unloved. I also get to choose whether I’m religious or not.”

I was a good girl but never came to terms with my religion. I believe in God, though. I truly do think he’s capable of all of us sinners and people, it’s just hard to believe when your teacher says something about the world ending. Revelation is not the best chapter in the Bible, it never was. Truly because I think it’s fictional and hypothetical for these things to happen, it has been said for many years. I still don’t see it happening.

Maybe that makes me a sinner of not being afraid of death. I'm not afraid of the underground world once I die, because I know that it’s a place for me and other people who go through my struggle. I’d rather not admit it, it makes me feel ashamed of myself.

When we reached the big wooden doors that lead to the chapel, I gulped. I could feel my throat restraining as if I’m not allowed to talk–which was the case, you aren’t allowed to talk in the chapel. Once it opens, all of us schoolgirls come rushing in quietly. Of course in line. I see my teachers being in the back row while there are a few nuns in the front row, and the section of my class sits in the right row in the middle of the church. So I sat there quietly with Wanda, who had her feet pressed together. A nun was at the altar playing the piano that was ringing in our ears beautifully, and I do find it relaxing. And once everyone was in the chapel, the priestess made her entrance.

Mother Natasha.

I could hear Wanda mumbling, “I wonder if she has a husband. She seems lonely, I mean look at her stance. It screams I want a husband. Do you think she wants one? Or does she have one already?”

I imagine Mother Natasha bringing her husband, who is possibly a priest. And I almost made a grimace look because of that imagination. I’d like to think Natasha is a lonely person who has her personal space and has a wonderful mind. And even if I don’t know her, she radiates that kind of mood. Especially how well-spoken she was, even if they are scriptures from the Bible. I responded to her quietly that I don’t think that she wants a husband, and Wanda just shrugs saying with another mumble: “That’s sad, I don’t want that. I would like a husband someday.”

Why do everyone has to think about marriage? Why can’t we just be happy with ourselves? I do personally think that marriage is a waste and something impulsive to do. There’s nothing forever in everything, even with stupid marriage. The thought of the word forever cringes me, it makes my body feel tingly with that word. I hate it, I hate it more than my dad.

“Please stand up for our prayer,” says Mother Natasha with a broad voice, everyone else closing their eyes. I had to do it as well but urged them to open again just to see her, to take a glimpse of her. After a long prayer, the service began. I was holding onto my Bible while still listening to her preaching, appreciating how there was so much power in her voice. I wish I could easily do that, to attract people with just my voice.

“For rebellion is as the sin of divination,

And insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry.

Because you have rejected the word of the Lord,

He has also rejected you from being king.”

When she says those words with such vulnerability, we make eye contact. It was brief, yet it meant so much to me. She looked at me. And I could see her creating a small smile that was so fainted, you could barely see it. My body tensed from the way her eyes were looking at mine, it was like I couldn’t breathe. My heart stopped. How utterly infatuated I was with something sinful that I cannot despair. She was a woman, a grown woman. I was a kid, practically a teenager still. Yet, she still looked at me without meaning.

After the service, we were asked to go to the confession room as always. It had to take a while since there were a lot of students and it took at least a minute or two. I was waiting in line with my fingers playing on the edge of my skirt. I bit the inside of my cheek, wondering about the possibilities that could happen later once I confess. But mostly, I thought about how Mother Natasha looked at me and almost gave me a smile. Was it sinful enough for me to want it from her?

“Y/N Rogers,” a nun calls me. I lifted my head up in response. “You’re up next. Don’t take too long.”

I mumbled a thank you for being polite and walked inside the small booth, closing the curtains. It felt intimate to be here again, to sit on the warm wooden chair and be faced by a divider. I start by saying with a light voice: “Bless me, Mother, for I have sinned. My last confession was about watching sexual films that my friend and I did, and I have thoughts about it. And for my next confession, I began to research abortion so that I could be prepared for the future. I know that it’s sinful to kill a child inside of your womb, but I was very curious. I will never do something like that again. And for my last one, I’m having an infatuation with someone that they do not know me. They barely made eye contact with me, and I’ve been thinking about them for the longest time.”

There was a short pause until the priestess asked, “Is this person a schoolmate?”

I began to shake my head. Lies, full of lies. I can’t confess something like this, it would be sinful enough to commit to it. It was just a stupid girl crush, no big deal. Wrong, it was a big deal–especially at this church. Homophobia is the real issue here, and they ban any homosexual acts from this school. So, I lied through my teeth.

“No, Mother. Someone else outside of school.”

“By the authority vested in me by the church, I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. May your confession be a reminder of you, child.”

I then realized how feminine the voice of that woman was. It sounded younger, and not some haggard old voice that you’d usually hear from another priestess. No, this sounded different. It sounded exactly just like Mother Natasha, although more feminine. Much lighter. I overthought this conversation until I made my way back to the room, where I had to do my project in English Class. My teacher, Mrs. Davis, is an outstanding poet. I love learning from her, but she seems too old for me to like. I’m assuming she’s in her sixties or maybe late fifties, but who am I to care about her age? I just simply love her class.

I kiss the small cross from my bracelet as I do a little prayer by the window, apologizing for my sins. It’s a daily ritual, a routine where I knelt down peacefully and talked to God. Whether he’s hearing me or not, I could tell how disappointed he was with my simple infatuation with a woman who was in her forties. I was ashamed, but never truly understood with the exception of being homosexual. Perhaps, I was. But I try my best to push it away, and it’s working.

“Forgive me, Lord Father, for I have sinned today. I know I may have disappointed you, and I will do my best to remain pure to your eyes. In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

                                                       —

Saint as she was on the outside, the devil she was on the inside. Natasha has urges, sexual urges. Maybe infatuation too, but more on the concept of fucking someone has been on her mind. Especially to me, specifically to me. How she’s trying to condemn herself whenever I'm around, how to try not to notice my eyes whenever she preaches. She prays to the Lord every day to push the feeling off, to be a saint in front of his eyes. But her urges continue on as if it was hunting for prey.

Mother Natasha is now inside your room with the door being quietly closed. She holds her clerical collar around her neck, trying to hold off the animalistic self to not grow out immediately. She takes in the coolness of my room, hearing the sounds of the clock ticking as well as the lights outside from the window are yellow. She looks at my desk and places a finger down, swiping across from the wood. She brings her finger to her tongue and licks it–rolling her eyes back at her head at the image of me on her desk. It’s getting worse day by day whenever she sees me by the halls of Ruther College, she wants to bite me. To simply take me that no one else could. Mother Natasha takes a few steps to my bed and simply admires my slumbered body, smiling to herself and whispering: How beautiful you are, my little lamb. How effortlessly pretty you are.

She takes out her hand and ran her knuckles against my soft cheek, afraid enough that she’ll wake me out of my slumber. Relief left her body when I didn’t stir awake and continued her actions. Mother Natasha has always admired me, especially whenever the teachers would talk about me to her. They would say how well disciplined I am and how much they love my writings, saying that some of my essays could be poetry. She admires that very deeply and takes it in by heart. Before she could do further action, she goes to my desk and starts opening drawers quietly. Something catches her eyes, it’s underwear that has never been washed.

“Perhaps this is yours, little lamb,” she murmurs to herself while touching the cloth of my old juices, running her thumb against it. She brings it to her nose and smells it, almost making a euphoric sound out of it. She’s insane, utterly and completely insane to me. “How beautiful you are, how much you make me crazy.”

Mother Natasha shoves the sheer pink panties inside of her pockets and maneuvers toward me once more, looking down at my body. She takes the ridge of the blanket and moves it down slowly, her eyes staring at my face to see if there are any reactions. None. So she continued until the blanket was at my feet. I was still asleep, deeply in fact. My eyes were so shut that I didn’t even know she was already behind me, her hands remained untouched from my hips. It was as if she was afraid to even hold my arms, to smell my neck. Forgive me, Father, she thought to herself and takes a good amount of smell of my hair. Strawberries. She began to be obsessed with me at this moment and thought about numerous acts that she could do to my body.

I was awoken with a strong pair of hands on my mouth, making me scream from the top of my lungs. Above me, there was a familiar sight and I will never forget this day when I found out that it was Mother Natasha who was on top of me. I was bewildered, scared, and distraught. But scarier if that made sense. I tried pushing her off with my hands fighting against her, but she was unbelievably strong. Was this happening? Am I dreaming? I was infatuated with her and wanted her to notice me, but never like this.

“Shh, baby, please,” her voice sounded like a beg, her eyes are now kind but I could see much evil that was inside her green eyes. “Please stop, quiet down. Shh, it’s okay. I won’t hurt you. I just want a little taste from you, okay sweetheart? Just a little taste…”

Once she put her hand away, I wanted to scream. But her lips were attached to mine and I simply almost passed out because of it. Is this what it feels like to be kissed by your priestess? Her lips were so soft, so plump. My eyes went from terror to closing them, almost giving in to how well she pressed her lips on mine. My hands went immediately on her chest and pushed her as hard as I could, but her hands were caught on my wrists and her eyes are no longer kind. Her eyes were in pure anger.

“Stay down,” she demanded, hovering over my small body as I tried fighting against her. Tears are starting to form in my eyes, but she didn’t care. She needed to let it all out. “Baby, you’re breaking a poor old woman’s heart. Please stay still. I need to take you, I want you so much.”

I wanted to be freed from her arms, away from her lips. I didn’t want it, I told myself not to want it. It was a sin, an awful sin especially when it comes from another woman. Would’ve it been better if she was a man? Hell, that’s even worse. If I do admit that I like it, I might as well be as sinful as she was. Her hands were absolutely everywhere, she was holding my hips with a grip–making me think there would be a mark as well as her kisses on my neck. She was desperate. So so desperate for me. My face was pressed against the soft pillow as she assaulted my helpless body, smiling faintly to herself when I was only wearing a pink tank top along with white cotton panties.

“How beautiful you are, my little angel…” she whispers to my ears and hooks her fingers to my underwear. My eyes bulged out and I was quick to say something before she could even pull them down.

“I’m not experienced, I don’t–can you please stop what you’re doing to me, Mother?”

She clicks her tongue and juts her lower lip as if feeling bad for me. I started to whimper when she shakes her head a “no”. Meaning, that she doesn’t want to stop. She was about to hurt me and I’m going to like the hell out of it.

“Jus’ be a good girl for me,” Mother Natasha mumbled while kissing the corner of my lips sloppily, trying to pull away from her mouth but she makes a threatening voice: “Stop moving or I will hurt you.”

I quivered from the voice that she erupted, I trembled vigorously when she put her hand on my right breast–her mouth near my ear as she shushes me down, threatening me some more. I wanted her to stop, I wanted her to leave. Because knowing myself, I could lose control once she doesn’t stop. I was inexperienced, I don’t know how to touch a woman or even a man. My lips are no longer a virgin, they have been manipulated by her lips instead of a precious one. But maybe, she is the precious one. Maybe, I was just stubborn to realize that.

“Forgive me, Father,” I whispered to myself while her lips were biting on my neck–hissing myself with a loud whimper and immediately covering my mouth once more. From the corner of my eye, I could see her smirking as she whispers hotly on my face: “There’s no Father here, my little girl. It’s just me, Mother. I will take good care of my precious baby.”

She brings down my panties with a grunt, her other hand still on my mouth as she throws the discarded undergarment onto the ground. Mother Natasha quietly gasps to herself as she sees my unshaven core, her mouth-watering from the sight. I could feel more tears trickling down from my eyes as she touches my cunt, knowing how dry it was.

“I’m going to get you so wet, little lamb… You shall see the ecstasy from the Lord. This is his gift, bringing me to you, kitty.”

With those nicknames, it made me wet. Those words are so foreign in my ears like I’ve never heard of them before. And I never did, so the way her sultry voice speaks to me makes me want her to touch my sensitive parts until I was eaten by her. How much I wanted her and how endlessly I denied it. I continued to cry and so on, letting her dominate my poor body while she was smiling at how much has been revealed to her.

“Recite the whole Hail Mary for me,” she quickly says with a domineering voice, turning me until my back is pressed against the mattress. I looked at her and pulled my tank top upwards with effort. “Detka, stop fighting it. Eventually, your virginity shall be mine. We were meant to be this way, accept it.”

I couldn’t. I thought this was supposed to be different, I thought that she’ll only be my priestess and nothing more than that. But I was so driven by her stamina and her harsh kisses that I’m making myself give in, I must give in to not disappoint her. So I did. She smiled widely once I took off my tank top, throwing it across the room and I was fully naked beneath her. I covered my chest with my arms and shyly said, “I think we’ve had enough, Mother. I–I think we should stop.”

“There’s no stopping here,” she harshly whispers and kisses my lower lip; biting it even, which made me let out a tiny whimper. “Give yourself to me, little lamb. I’ll make sure you’ll be filled with so much love from me, I promise.”

She pushed my legs wide and gasped quietly once she saw the full view of my vagina, I could see her hungry eyes far from here. It’s a sight that I’ll never forget, that I’ll imagine once I go to sleep every night. Her mouth lands on my stomach and makes swirling kisses with her tongue, whispering biblical words that I cannot comprehend due to the fact that I’m a mess. Tears are coming out like a river, as well as my whimpers of mercy. She gives open-mouth heated kisses on my pelvis and finally, her mouth was on my cunt. I arched my back in response, my hand went flying to her hair to grip it; she didn’t mind. To her head, she loved it.

“Please,” I begged and took a deep breath, releasing the tension inside of me. “You have to stop, Mother. I–I can’t do this with you, this is wrong.”

She shakes her head in disagreement with her eyebrows scrunched together, but her eyes are still glued to my clitoris. She whispers with a deeper voice: “This is never wrong for the both of us, my child. It’s meant to be.”

Her tongue squirmed all over my folds as I covered my mouth with my mouth, moaning when her lips were attached to my clitoris. She sucks on it, making a sipping sound while her hands are roaming around my stomach to calm me down. Her mouth was rough, as well as her tongue. Especially her tongue. It’s like she knows what she’s doing with it, and I don’t even understand the techniques that she’s releasing from within her. Mother Natasha continued to eat me from down there as I prayed to the Lord for my sins; quietly.

“You taste divine, my angel…” she praises, her eyes closed as she licks and licks my departed folds, the tip of her tongue prodding against my cunt. “So fucking good, this pussy is so beautiful… Want you to shave it for me.”

I still had my hand gripping her hair tightly and let her assault my cunt with her mouth and her tongue that would draw me from my orgasm. She still had her chapel outfit on, which kind of made my body feel hot. I could still see the clerical collar around her neck, as well as her cross necklace that was made out of wood. But none the less, I was in true heaven while she ate me out like a starved animal.

“I’m so–Lord, Forgive me,” I begged, and I pleaded. My chest starts to heave deeper as my pants become more ragged. “Stop, please stop! It’s too much–I can’t take it…”

“You taste so fucking good,” she groaned against my cunt, admiring my clenching hole. “Look at that, you are nothing but my child. I’m cleansing you away from your sins, I’m the one who listens to them. Don’t be a dumb baby.”

I let out a whining moan at the sound of her voice and how she says them with so much sexual power within her body. I began to whine more once I felt two fingers dipping inside of my vagina, and I immediately lifted myself away.

“No, please. Anything but that. I’m saving myself for the Lord,” I whimpered in pleading but she never wavered. She just kept her arms around my hips as her fingers rubbed my clenching hole. I said with a louder voice, “I said stop, Mother! You’re going to hurt me with your fingers…”

“No, no, baby…” she coos, smiling at me gently while still rubbing smoothly against my hole. She could see how terrified I was, could see how pure I was. And she was grown enough to know that she was taking advantage of me. Should I let her? If I was going, to be honest in the vein of the Lord, yes I wanted her to take my virginity. “Don’t be scared, my child. I’m here to take care of you, remember?”

She thrust two fingers inside my womb without warning, making me scream from my hand. It felt like something broke inside of me, like a river flowing out of my vagina. And to my thoughts, it was my juices. She loved the way I screamed, the way my body squirmed to get away from her. But really, I just wanted more. I needed more even though it stings, it hurts.

“That’s it,” she kisses my clitoris again while pulling out slowly to just pump in again, with more force this time. She could see the way my hips arched and with that, she pushes my lower stomach down with a growl. “Be a good angel, little girl. You’re giving yourself to me, what a saint. Beautiful, just like that… You’re so tight.”

She completely lost her temptation over me, she was a whole new person. And either way, she didn’t care. She wanted me as much as I wanted her–now that I have figured that out. She curls her fingers inside of me with a vigorous moan, latching her mouth once again on my clit while flicking that blud. I start praying once again, asking for forgiveness. Telling to God how much I’ve disobeyed him, it was a sin to commit an affair with a woman0–especially a priestess. I can’t help myself, I’ve fully grown to the feeling of her inside of me. I wanted it, even though on the outside I didn’t.

“Stop,” I whined while I still had my eyes closed, trying to get away from her hungry mouth. But her arms were so strong that you’d think twice if she’s a woman. Maybe she’s just a very strong person. “Please stop, I can’t take it! I’m sorry, forgive me, Father… For I have sinned. Oh god, please–I’m feeling so–”

“You’re loosening up,” she chastises, pulling herself up to smother her wet lips against mine. Our teeth clad together and made a clink, which hurt a bit. But I was so lost from the pain and pleasure that she was giving me, that I couldn’t help but let out a desperate moan. She smiles against my wet lips, almost tasting me. “I broke you in, huh? I love your pretty little body so much…”

She gropes my breasts while thrusting inside of me hard, her fingers curling to hit my special spot. My eyes were shut completely as my mouth gaped open, giving her access to kiss me. I could feel her dark redhead locks against my sweaty skin as she pumps her fingers, feeling my walls not as tight anymore. She loved the feeling of her taking my virginity, the one where she gets to taste a girl first. And god, I have made her crazy. Utterly insane.

I moved my head away from her lips and held onto the headboard steadily, almost coming from an orgasm that I’d never had before. She still has that smile on her face, it was as if she had won some trophy. And then I realized I was that trophy, I was her prize. I could feel the cross dangling onto my face as she whispers harshly, “Good little girls like you make me feel alive, lamb. You have no idea how attracted I am to you, how obsessed I am whenever you pass by. I know your little stares, baby. I’m not dumb enough to not see them.”

Immediately, I was embarrassed. But that feeling was at the corner since there are multiple emotions that I’m going through in just one night. I wanted to hate her, to never see her again. She was a saint that I always praised, but a demonic human being at night. Though, I love her. I love the way she manipulates my body, how she could control it–knowing what she wants. I was just some little girl in her eyes and felt innocent. Maybe those were her type, good little innocent girls like me. Except that, I was at the right age. It would’ve been an awful turn if I was a bit younger.

Our kiss was like an unforbidden fruit, like how Eve finds a beautiful apple from the snake. She was Lucifer, I was Eve. She knew how to manipulate me into some kind of sick action that I really loved, and I hate myself for it. I loathe thinking that this was not destiny because it felt like it did.

“I have so much desire for you,” her breathing becomes hard and I don’t know how to respond to her desperation. Her eyes are closed now, but I felt her forehead against mine as she gropes my right breast with a tight grip. “Forgive me, my child. I just couldn’t help myself any longer… I had to take you.”

Come for me, angel. Come around my fingers.

Those words repeat in my head as her mouth latched now on my nipple, sucking it while still rubbing my clitoris with her thumb–her fingers still inside of me. I felt disgusted. Yet, alive. My cunt was now abused with her power and I wasn’t ashamed of it, but I could still feel my tears falling down from my eyes endlessly, it was as if I am truly ashamed of what is going on. Eventually, I came on her fingers and she had her mouth on me to muffle my screams. She knew what she was doing, she damn knew. I was so lost with the feeling, the mixture of pain and pleasure. My body trembles from her fingers inside of me as my body sweats like crazy.

“That’s it,” she whimpers, kissing my lips harder with her rough mouth. “That’s it, come on… You’re so good to me. You’re such a good little schoolgirl, huh?”

I nodded relentlessly and continued to come around her fingers. Once I am done, she pulls out slowly and brings her lips to her mouth–sucking my come with her eyes closed. I watched the way she lathers her other all over her fingers as if she was starved. And truly, I was too. I panted loudly and laid my head back onto the pillows, sobbing after our sinful encounter.

Her eyes soften and touch my cheek with her knuckles, whispering: “You did good, my child. You did very well. I hope to see you again next week. Will I see you again?”

Why was she acting desperate? She knows she has more power over me, why is she giving me the control to see her? Mother Natasha has the willpower to control me, to make me feel like a bad person. It all felt different, too different. But I gave her a slight nod and tuck myself away from her, still whimpering from the sex that we made. I hear her say: “I made love to you, my child. Don’t act like you don’t like it. You came around my fingers, I hope you get to do that with my cock too someday.”

Someday? And what does she mean by that? Was there something else that I did not know? I felt scared now but wanted her to hold me close. Eventually, I felt the bed dip and watched her as she fixed herself, mumbling a few words that I could barely hear. She turns over her shoulder and gives one last smile before she leaves my room, closing the door quietly.

I cried during that night, feeling ashamed of what I’ve felt or thought. I hate to admit that I loved our sex, I loved the way she took me. But it felt so sinful that I could feel my body as a dirty thing; a dirty creature. I never want to show up in her chapel again, I never want to see those eyes.

But I do, so badly that it aches me.

taglist: @blckwidowsbf @olicity-boo @nickalpatel @sayah13​ @inluvwithfictionalwomen​ @daddynatasha​ @natnutkuy​ @mrs-johansson​ @ageofolsen​ @easybxy​ @natasharomanoffswifeyyy​ @ayyy-lety​ @wandsgurl​ @rt--link​ @pancakefan7529 @korekiyoss​ @natash7456574657646645 @riveravalonsage​ 

[bomberqueen17]

ugh

I can't sleep and I'm just sort of stewing over how unprepared I am to be entirely on my own managing my own healthcare. blech.

Did I mention, Farmsister was suffering from hip pain and went to her doctor and was diagnosed with the exact same problem I have?

Diagnosed, I said. Yes! Her doctor actually investigated the cause of her pain, diagnosed her, referred her to a physical therapist, but also came up with a plan of treatment. Told her physical therapy often can't resolve this issue, so after a set amount of PT, if there wasn't enough improvement she'd refer her to an orthopedist instead.

Imagine that. My doctor was like "you've got intermittently debilitating pain? You should go see a doctor about that." and that was that. I went to a physical therapist because that's what she recommended, but I don't have a plan, I'm just spending $150/wk to work out in a room full of other people. I guess I'll ask my PT if there's a plan or like timeline or like, idk, something we should look for, or what. IDK what a realistic goal is. Pain-free seems out of reach. I'd settle for largely functional, I guess? But I don't know, and I guess I'm on my own to figure it out.

And the same with the ADHD! She was like "oh, your insurance isn't going to cover it and it's probably going to take months of waiting, but you had better go see someone about that", and refused to engage any further. So I messaged the psychiatrist today and he doesn't check the messages on that platform so I texted the admin who was like oh usually medication is adjusted at follow-ups, and I'm like well in the three minutes he talked to me it didn't come up I guess, so then they texted back that he says to try taking two pills a day for a couple days and then schedule a follow-up.

I've asked around, and usually I guess the regular adderall pills, you take in two doses at separate times. But if the point is that I'm trying to see if a higher dose helps, I'd probably better take them at the same time??

It's just that when the small ineffective dose wears off four or five hours after I take it, without my ever having had a good phase, I get horribly drowsy and also get this kind of gross formless yearning that I think might be a dopamine crash, where I roam the house in itchy horrible discontent trying to think of something that might help me, but it's not candy and it's not reading a book and it's not napping, and I guess I understand why people turn to drugs or self-harm because the feeling is awful, spacy and wrung-out and aimlessly needy.

But I guess it's up to me to research what that is and what to do about it, and then at my $250 three-minute follow-up appointment in three days or whatever I'll tell the psych what I want prescribed to me, because it's sure as shit not like he's going to have any fucking advice for me.

And like. Laugh out loud at the notion that my primary care physician would give a single shit about this. Maybe I didn't mention this on here either but literally the only thing she has looked into about me is that my blood tests came back with a fasting blood glucose level of 5.7 (idk what units, just that she's fixated on that number) and it is exactly entirely that post circulating about """"pre-diabetes"""? She has put in my chart that she wants to start me on Metformin!! Christ all fucking mighty, it could not be more obvious that she took one look at my fat ass and was like "this bitch eats only candy! I'd better scare her straight!"

Ma'am fuck off. She wants me to get my blood retested in July and I am figuring I'll take advantage of having to have a visit then anyway to get the ADHD stuff entered into my main chart, and I'm also going to tell her that since she was so disinterested in literally any of the conditions actually debilitating me (my hip pain and my ADHD) I had to research those so I could treat myself, and in the course of researching that I found out about the fake "epidemic" of "pre-diabetes" which isn't a thing, it's a fucking PR gambit to sell drugs, and so if she prescribes me diabetes drugs when I do not fucking have diabetes I will not be taking them, and I will also be looking for a new doctor, because I do not appreciate her fixation on treating a condition I do not have while ignoring things that are literally preventing me from leading the life I want to, wherein I can do things like, stand/walk as much as I like and can also like, perform tasks.

So there's my timeline.

(Yeah my insurance won't cover blood testing a second time in a year so that's gonna cost me $200ish, and the phone doctor visit she insisted on to discuss the results last time was $45 and it'll be that again for this one, but I mean, eventually I'll hit my deductible maybe.)

I don't know, people tell me that they have medical professionals that actually listen to and treat them and give them like actual good actionable advice on how to improve their various health conditions but as far as I can tell that all sounds fake and isn't a thing.

Unfortunately, I am too fucking debilitated by my Can't Think Good disease to do a competent job at caring for myself, so I guess I'm just going to have to fucking muddle through somehow, or something.

Probably I should put together my citations on how Pre-Diabetes Is Fake so that when I unload that on my doctor I can do so with fucking footnotes at least. Lord knows I can't sleep at the moment so I might as well do something productive.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Look….more mommy hwa and more answered asks about Christopher being possessive and freaky…

I needed this thank you 🥹

Today is very very hard and I’m feeling a lot of hard feelings and life rn so overwhelming and confusing. I’m the type of person who’s got a hard shell but it’s made of like bulletproof armor on the outside but I’m v gooey and sensitive inside. I didn’t realize I needed some good brainrot inducing delulu soup to distract me so 🤌🏻 thank you

CW: WHORNY AF HARD THOTS AND DELULU SOUP

So Christopher *sigh* idk what I want to ask just my aqua sun6h/Scorpio moon3h/Leo rising/aqua Mercury 7h/sag Venus5h/Leo mars1h ass is like…………

Imagine him like soft dom but so so so into like corruption but not necessarily always meaning inexperienced partner, but maybe inexperienced in all the kinks and little taboos. I read him as wanting to break someone who’s normally very strong minded and kept together and so like very much Brat Tamer I guess. Like after he makes you cum on his mouth and then on his fingers, he wants to degrade you in the gentlest way and praise you, his voice saccharine, while he manhandles you and fucks you hard. You’re cock drunk and starting to cry a little from how good it feels and from the overstimulation. The type to make you tell him out loud what you want and where you want him and that you don’t want him to stop and make you beg him to cum and tell him how good he feels and that only he does that to you bc he’s possessive and he’s got an ego and needs you to need him in every way possible.

something about him and his Gemini rising tells me he might be good with his hands ~that might be my hand kink tho clouding my judgement(Gemini Lilith 😅) ~ *cough*cough*

ANYWAYS

He wants to break you open and make sure you can be that vulnerable and submissive to him and him only, also to know you at a very deep level. Whether you get to know him at that deep of a level is another story and depends on how deep he is in his fuckboy ways. He wants you a lady in the streets and HIS freak in the sheets. But he totally wants to corrupt you and his sag mars: he wants to try new shit with you and be adventurous and explore new kinks etc etc.

Every break down of this man’s chart has me like “oh yes pls, 😊. yes ma’am I’ll take one, where do I purchase this?”

And everyone’s like he’s this and that and potentially toxic in these ways and idk if I’m enamored by his Libra charm or what but I’m like “I can handle him, the question is actually ‘Can he handle me?’” and it’s very delulu but also I think that thought is kinda true. (hypothetically and astrologically speaking) In my little brainrot soup for the night 🥰

I can’t even begin on mommy Hwa and the gooey lovey mess he turns my brain into. Something about him is so tender but also like so so so so so freaky but like gentle but so fucking kinky? Idk that man + mommy kink + body worship + needy/clingy doms is so so so good. You’re one of my fav fic writers, and my fav mommy hwa enthusiast. Thank you for serving and thank you for your brain and thank you for the distraction on a hard day like today 🖤

Much appreciate, have a lovely rest of your week, and as always cool pillow on both sides for you!

I CANT PUT PICS IN ANONYMOUS ASKS WTF…. Fuck it I’ll go off anon for this

This is 🖤Anon on my side blog/lurk account 😅

I am ending tonight's 2 hour post of going through my asks with this absolute banger of an ask from @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell and also hi Izzy!

I'm Ruby! It's nice meeting you *hugs*

I understand how life can feeling overwhelming and frustrating when things don't go you way. I am also a golden retriever disguised as a black cat and us fire placements want love and care too.

I hope things get better for you <3

Imagine him like soft dom but so so so into like corruption but not necessarily always meaning inexperienced partner, but maybe inexperienced in all the kinks and little taboos.

This section has me feeling shit at 10:33 pm on a Tuesday afternoon while watching Chris D'Elia 'Man On Fire' on Netflix.

I just love how Bang Chan stans have silently agreed that Chan's corruption kink is fucking massive and do we have any physical evidence?

No-

But with his massive caregiver complex and Daddy kink, it kinda goes hand in hand.

I can just imagine that paragraph so vividly just him covered in sweat, his black hair sticking to the sides of his face and his mouth all shiny with spit and your cum just smirking at how fucked out you are, your eyes are beginning to cross and there's drool against the pillow.

'Don't black out on me yet baby girl, mmmh? Daddy still needs to cum'

OR...OR!!!

You're crying and sobbing against the pillow because he's edged you within an inch of your breath and the pressure is so tight it HURTS and your legs are spasming and face contorted with need as you just beg your pretty heart out.

'Please, I can't take it anymore, please make me cum, I'll do anything, please Daddy i just need it'

And then he would hover over you, wipe the drool from your mouth and press gentle kisses across your face as he pushes himself into you.

'See, that wasn't so hard wasn't it? Daddy will always reward my baby girl when she asks for something yeah?'

I also don't know how ppl enjoy being edged so severely man, I would tap out after 20 mins.

Overstimulation all the way for me.

Yeah, his Gemini Rising means he would be an exceptional kisser and great with his fingers.

His Libra stellium also means he has amazing stroke game but moving back to the kissing.

I feel like he would be a messy kisser (in a good way) like the loud smacking noises, drool and spit, definitely makes little sighs and noises of satisfaction in between kisses.

When Chan leaves his fuckboi era, sex would be incredibly emotionally intimate because he loves and adores how he sees you in a way no one does.

I have this thought that sex with Bang Chan could be so intimate, you would both end up crying and not in a dacryphilia way but in a 'i fucking love you so much and it's so emotional' way.

As much as Bang Chan likes fucking, he enjoys making love more.

And here's the thing right, Bang Chan's frontal lobe has developed so he doesn't even has the neurological excuse of 'well his brain is not fully developed yet' because NOW IT IS.

Also, your placements are low-key intimidating because wow, they are powerful.

I think Bang Chan would like the challenge of being able to handle you.

Seonghwa is definitely freaky and kinky and is very hardcore, he likes it hard, he likes it rough, he prefers a jackhammering pace (which is a bit of an ick of me because that doesn't sound enjoyable but okay).

I think the reason why jackhammering gives me an ick is because rough and fast doesn't always mean good okay?

I think a slow but deep and firm pace is better because you can get a better angle and hit the right spot every time.

But I also understand that some ppl like being treated like a battering ram during sex and that is also okay.

He would give you brilliant aftercare and reassurance though and that's what matters.

Thank you for the thirst my sweet, I will gobble this up and use this as my fantasy thoughts for sleep tonight.

Yum yum.

[kuroneko1815]

Penelope does therapy… on Callisto

Callisto: so why do I have to do this?

Penelope: It’s to heal your inner child

Callisto: What’s there to heal?

Penelope looking at her charts: according to reports, you have large scale emotional outbursts, destructive tendencies such as mass murder, an inability to explain your feelings, and a fear of abandonment when it comes to your relationships.

Callisto: My outbursts are within the normal range, so what if a few kingdoms fell? That’s normal. Mass murder is not a destructive tendency, it’s a way of blowing off steam and a fun past time. Who needs feelings anyway? And what are you talking about? I feel no such sense of fear.

Penelope: So if I left and…

Callisto panics: What? Why are you leaving me? Princess, no! Don’t leave me!!! (Clings to her.)

Penelope: You were saying? I was going to say I was going to the Duchy for a bit.

Callisto: That’s mean! Why are you going to leave me?!?

Penelope writes on her chart: Yeah, you definitely need it.

-

-

Penelope: Okay, first close your eyes and focus on my voice, take three deep breaths.

Callisto, holding Penelope’s hands, tightly in fear, does as he’s told.

Penelope: Tell me one thing you smell

Callisto: Your scent

Penelope: One thing you hear

Callisto: Your heartbeat

Penelope: Huh? How?

Callisto: Dragon hearing

Penelope: Okay, moving on… one thing you feel

Callisto: Your hand

Penelope frustrated: One thing you taste

Callisto puts her hand up and licks it: You

Penelope: …

-

-

Penelope: That was a bust, lets try the next one, nurturing your creativity

Callisto: So why paints and paper?

Penelope: try them

Callisto hesitantly touches the paint: Eww

Penelope: What? You’re used to blood and mud but not paint

Callisto: But it’s wet and sticky

Penelope: So’s blood

Reynold walks in: Cool, paints! (Starts painting a stick man of himself standing over everyone as the supreme champion of all competitions and as the ultimate knight)

Callisto eventually gives in to Penelope’s look and draws himself standing over the corpses of his dead enemies and explains it. The other side of the painting is taken up with Callisto carrying Penelope with a whole gaggle of their children.

Reynold: That’s lame

Callisto: Oh yeah? What did you draw?

Reynold: It’s Super Reynold and his side kick spider donkey

Penelope as she watches them argue over who had the better painting: …

-

-

Penelope: How about you try collecting something?

Callisto: Oh, well, that’s easy, I already collect a few things

Penelope: Oh, can you show me?

Callisto: Well…

Callisto shows Penelope his collection of swords from his felled enemies, the collection of the flags of the kingdoms he’s defeated, and his Penelope collection, from strands of hair to gifts she’s given him.

Penelope: … no… just… no…

-

-

Penelope: How about we try visualizing things. Think back to your childhood, what would you think would be your ideal childhood

Callisto: Well, I’d have met you earlier as children.

Penelope: That’s sweet but I’d still be a baby, you’re five years older than I am

Callisto: Then, I’ll steal you away as my bride and lock you away from the world, I’ll take care of you of course. And then it would be better if I can sacrifice my half brother to a volcano. And then maybe feed my stepmother to some sharks… hmm… maybe I’d tear down Delman earlier and kill them all…

Penelope: this just took a turn…

-

-

Penelope: Okay, fine, let’s try some journaling

Callisto: Do I have to show it to you?

Penelope: No.

Callisto: I want to show you

Penelope: Okay

Callisto: Today, I saw Penelope again, she looked so pretty…

Callisto continues to wax poetics about her and she’s blushing: And just before I forget, I also executed some rebels and had so much fun.

Penelope: … you are hopeless.

-

-

Penelope: Okay, last one… let’s try playing

Callisto: Oh (Waggles his brows and tries to strip)

Penelope: What are you doing?

Callisto: You said we were going to play. You know, our code word for fun times in bed

Penelope: No! I mean we play with these children’s toys

Reynold who walked in: Wow! I remember these. (Proceeds to play with them)

Callisto: Why didn’t you ever try these on your brother

Penelope: You think he needs to work on his inner child? He never grew up. That’s his natural state. A perpetual child!

[donascozylivingroom]

SPECIFIC/UNSPECIFIC MANIFESTORS

Hey y'all.

In May of 2023 I affirmed almost only 1 affirmation "all my wishes come true easilly and effortlessly". it was the most blessed period of my life since my childhood. i even traveled to Corfu, Greece, which is one of those "travel is hard to get" ones for me, that i have more resistance to usually. it was the most beautiful vacation.

plus, everything in my life went so good, i was journaling every day and i looked through what i was writing and putting pictures of in my goodnotes app on my ipad (another manifestation of mine i will maybe make a post another time) and my life was super happy.

so i decided that this year this will be my only affirmation. because last year i was like yeah well this is great but i want specific things and this is kinda good/awesome things that are coming sort of as a surprise from the universe. but it didn't work as well for me to affirm for specific things, i manifested a lot but it didn t make me as happy. so i decided this year to try again and let the universe decide.

but this leads me to my point: I know of myself what I am in Human Design, an unspecific manifestor. This means exactly what i iterrated here: unspecific affirmations work better for us unspecific manifestors. it's not that we cannot get specific things, it's that we are more 'made' to flow with the abundance of the universe.

for example for me as an unspecific manifestor, i get results faster if i affirm "i have a lot of money" rather then "i have X (specific) sum of money".

and as a specific manifestor, one would better get super speciffic with what they are manifesting.

i think this is an untalked subject in the manifestation world, that trips people up. for example an unspecific manifestor might teach a specific manifestor that "they are better off looking for the feeling of the desire and to affirm with feeling" while a specific manifestor might tell an unspecific to get super specific and manifest simply through mindless repetition, and both won't work the same for each other.

so i started with my affirmation, "all my wishes come true easilly and effortlessly" (no red car, no million dollars, no specific sp, etc - literally, unspecific) 6 days ago and today i started journaling too.

just while i was journaling i noticed things happening around me that made me feel like this aff works so well for me. for ex i didn't like what my brother was listening to and just affirming a few times he left to listen in his apartment. then he came back with soft music and he got an ad for an event that i saw yesterday with my friend and she said it seemed too expensive for her for what they offered (but i secretly wished we could go) . seeing the ad, i told my brother what she said without thinking much of it and he offered to pay for both of us 🥰. coincidence? i think not.

so to find out whether u are a specific or unspecific manifestor in HD u have to look online and ask google or chatgpt how to find out "am i a specific or unspecific manifestor in human design" (because i forgot which arrow in the chart exactly shows u) and then do ur chart with ur date and time of birth.

U can find many interesting things by doing ur chart and sending it to chatgpt, rather than paying for an explanation, but anyways....

good luck! :)

[tarotwithavi]

Pick a picture : let me hype you up!!

Pile 1 Pile 2

Pile 3

__________________

(ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Hey! Everyone, this is a new pick s card from me and if you're wondering why I always do these kinds of readings, the reason is simple "I love hyping you up! "

Anyway today's pick a card is going to be a little different, I will not write things in paragraphs. I will just write anything random that I get . So prepare yourself my lovelies , the show is starting !!! \(≧∇≦)/

__________________

Pile 1

Pile 1 you know how to work hard for what you love like you're never going to give up on what you want. That's fucking impressive!! Let me tell you I lot of people tend to give even at the little inconvenience, but you don't .

You're like the allrounder in the group.

For some of you I'm getting that you would sometimes be the reason some couples breakup.

You've got the perfect balance within yourself.

You love yourself and are full of confidence.

I see that some of you have suffered from depression in the past and (even tried to commit suicide) but you recovered and came back stronger than before . I salute you for that

People are surprised by how you can overcome your problems.

I am getting that you have some sort of sexual aura or that you can turn on anyone you want.

Bruh! You're like the money magnet if you don't see it now you'll probably in the future.

I'm getting that you love to travel and learn about different cultures.

Pile 1 even after all this you are kind , Lighthearted and carefree.

People love to talk about you behind your back it's like they can't speak in front of you.

Some message that might resonate: lotus, poppy, rabbit, horses, black, tears , roses, gothic aesthetic, house of memories.

Lots of love ❤

My Masterlist

__________________

Pile 2

You'll are so tempting that it's so hard to resist you!!

You guys know what you're worth.

Do you like little mix? Because I think that you might like them.

I am hearing the "I know what I'm worth". I forgot which song this is from.

You are like flash, I mean you finish your work in no time.

Pile 2 now you have alot of choices and you've very hard for them.

I am getting that you've the mindset of " Even if life burden me with work I'll still be grateful for that, because I know this is all for me".

Some of your could be a leo Or have leo in your chart.

You like to solve everyone's problems and sometimes you can forget yours.

But remember pile 2 never give anyone more importance than yourself, always out yourself first.

I get that I lot of you could be single because I see that you have high standards and would not settle for less.

Many of you could be a singer or dancer.

Pile 2 you're going to receive alot of proposals in the future.

You're like a lion confident and always ready to attack whoever messes with you.

Some messages that might resonate : gold fish, grasshopper, Ram ( hindu God) , innocent face, chrysanthemum, blue eyes,brown hair. Colored hair.

Lots of love ❤

My Masterlist

__________________

Pile 3

If you're attracted to pile1 make sure to check that out too.

I feel like you're a family person or that you give most of your time to your family.

I got that you're sweet and innocent to your family and the people you love and foxy and cunning to the people you don't like.

You have this kind of switch where you can turn your emotions off.

You might not like the idea of love this is not for everyone just for some.

Girllll stop taking to much stress on your shoulder go out, have fun, buy the things you love.

If see that you're working on becoming more confident and lemme tell ya you are going be a bad bitch when your start being confident.

Sometimes you like to acting opposite of what you are .

Like people will literally let you step over them.

If you're seeing 1111/111 this is your sign that you're at the right place.

You should listen to power by little mix.

I see that a male is going to message you soon, he might have tattoos.

He might be a businessman.

You have cat eyes? 👀 because your eyes are fucking gorgeous.

Someone is getting between your friends or the things you love.

You are literally the walking good luck charm.

Girl your legs are gorgeous ✨

you slayyy queen 💅

Some messages that might resonate : performer, harp, Lily, Fox, kangaroo, Hat , karma, stepping towards something new. bts .

Lots of love ❤

My Masterlist

PAID READINGS

__________________

[the-world-of-nai]

birth chart analysis: harry styles

today we are analyzing our air king, harry styles. i have noticed i've only been analyzing women so i wanted to switch it up. harry's chart kinda scares me, at least his big 6. anyways, let's get to it!

DISCLAIMER: this is just my interpretation of and opinion on his chart. it is not absolute truth, nor do you have to agree with it, but i'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments :) every sign has its shadow traits. i have aquarius and libra in my chart, but i will be pointing out the shadow traits of these signs. astrology is just for fun, not that deep. i feel the need to make this disclaimer as people are seemingly offended by some of my astro notes...

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

sun in ♒︎, 11°

ah yes, the aqua sun. what is there not to love? the pickmeisha behaviour? the emotional unavailability? the know it all syndrome? LOL ANYWAYSSSS BEFORE ALL THE BUTTHURT PEOPLE COMMENT I WAS JUST KIDDINGGGGGGG (i am an aqua myself, okay? i'm allowed to make these jokes💅). so this placement makes harry a mercury influenced aqua (if u are dumb that just means he is an aqua with some gemini vibes sprinkled onto him). off the bat, we can say that harry is a humanitarian at heart. he wants to change the world and be known for some big innovation. he has a way with words. he likes to learn new things, but he is quite set in his own convictions. harry believes that he is smarter than most people, and he is probably right. developed aquarians are open-minded, but they are hardly wrong about things so their beliefs/convictions don't change much. the shadow side to this is (drumroll plz) KNOW IT ALL SYNDROME!!! with all that aqua in his chart, harry believes himself to be a genius but he is also above the school and education system. 2 cool for skool. did i mention how rebellious he is? harry is a stubborn person in general. he is either super traditional, or super liberal in his beliefs. he does not like to follow the crowd. he likes to come to his own conclusions on things and he has a dislike of sorts for those who cannot think for themselves. harry is eccentric, social, friendly, accepting of others, and a bit flighty if anything. he has some special snowflake syndrome for sure. he likes getting attention for his innovative ideas. he wants to be a pioneer of sorts. he likes to stand out for his uniqueness, so to speak. he wants to help the world and make it a better place. i mean, just look at his merch LOL. he wants to encourage people to be their most authentic selves, because he cannot imagine not living that way.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

moon in ♎︎, 11°

bro idk what it is with these celebs and libra moons! 3/4 of my analysis now have libra moons. it does add up though because libra moons value social status and luxury. harry is charming, emotionally aloof, attractive, and likeable. he is someone who does not like conflict. he values peace, harmony, and manners. MANNERSSSS. he is polite and sweet to people. he may be fake sometimes and pretend to like people who he doesn't like lol. he knows how to make others like/trust him and he can easily use this to his advantage (read: take advantage of other ppl after making them feel special and showering them with compliments!!). overall, he is very concerned with what is right. he will stand up to bullies, esp with that aqua influence. he likes fashion, luxury, status. he cares a good deal about his looks. he can be quite experimental/unique in his fashion tastes. he is not a very emotionally reactive person. it is rare to see him yell or get very angry. he is calm, cool, collected. a people pleaser at heart. he may have a strong conscience/gets guilty easily. he is indecisive on his feelings. he is a romantic and he longs to be in a partnership. he is very social and always wants to be around people because it energizes him, gives him meaning. the approval of others is important for his self esteem. without it, he may feel empty inside.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

asc in ♎︎, 28°

again, it is all about the MANNERSS with this man. he is so polite and charming. all smiles and compliments. a 'gentleman' so to speak. he is medium tall, beautiful smile, pretty boy. always well kempt and effortless beauty. quite aloof and detached when you meet him (and lowkey always cuz like he's all air). he is the type of person that u meet and u swear he was flirting with you, but then u see that he flirts with everyone LOLLLLLLLLL. he may be a hugger. makes people feel quite special. again, cares a good deal about his looks. to harry, meeting new people is like a game: how fast can i make this person like me???

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

mercury in ♒︎

okay harry, we get it. you are not like other girls!! with mercury in aqua, harry likes to learn. he likes to write. he may be good at learning languages. he has a way with words, albeit a bit of a unique way. he is curious. he is fun to speak to. he may be interested in weird niche things like the occult, anime, poetry, etc. he likes to know about the world. could also be into debating and/or politics, esp with that libra in his chart.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

venus in ♒︎

more aqua, are we shocked?? taylor swift also has a venus in aqua,,, soulmates? so basically this means many things. harry treats his lover like his best friend. this can make his lover wonder if they're even special at all lol. to his loved ones, harry is generous, caring, friendly, accepting, understanding, and quirky. though he is non-committal and flighty as well. he values mental connection above all else. he wants someone who he can have good conversations with; someone who stimulates him mentally. he may be the type who is open to poly relationships LOLLLLLLLLLL or like sexual experimentation?? with all this aqua lmao. he has a very unique/eccentric sense of style.

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mars in ♒︎

harry does NOT CAREEEEEEE. he does not get mad or vengeful, he is a just a go with a flow dude who wants to have a good time. harry does not hold grudges either lol. again, he is rebellious and marches to the beat of his own drum. he does not like to be told what to do. he honestly could not give less of a fck what other people r sayin. he has his own methods when it comes to getting his projects done. his work ethic is: i will work when i feel like it! and if u tell him to work, he is less likely to do it because it triggers his aqua rebellion instincts.

anyways it's kinda hard to elaborate further cuz this man is just an aquarius through and through LOL.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

thank you all for reading! lmk your thoughts below. who should i do next??

[twopoppies]

hiii, this is gonna sound so random but i honestly don’t have friends in the fd rn and i really wanted to share it with someone who’d understand. you can post it if you want. so i was at louis’ dubai show and u luckily got barricades. as you must know the show didn’t have any rainbows as dubai is incredibly anti-lgbtq so getting a rainbow flag was completely off the charts. like it was a constant reminder from everyone in the fd who were from dubai to NOT get anything lgbtq+ related as it can be harmful for louis & the fans. so we all refrained specially being a tourist (i flew from india for the show). honestly you could tell louis noticed the lack of rainbows instantly and he couldn’t make of the crowd. he was less chatty in the first half of the show tbh, it was a stark difference from his previous shows but anyway, i knew we couldn’t get any rainbows but i wanted him to know just for himself that you know he has our back somehow. i pulled up a rainbow image on my phone and displayed it for like good one song and he definitely saw it bc i was right in his eyesight and he had noticed me and my sign before (it said flip me off and he did haha) but no way in hell he missed the rainbow bc my phones screen was at its brightest. he didn’t react to it then but honestly my aim wasn’t to get him to react because it would’ve been too obvious because it was the ONLY rainbow at the show, no kidding. i just wanted a little hint that he felt loved thats all. He gave it today, he gave that hint that he saw it and appreciated it. The reel they posted on his Instagram today had the clip of me holding up the rainbow on my phone clear as the day. ITS ON HIM PROFILE. THE ONLY RAINBOW IN THE DUBAI SHOW. They decided to INCLUDE THAT in the video. I can’t express just how much comfort I feel knowing he saw it and felt good enough to include that clip in the video that’s on his ig acc. It might seem like a small thing but because I know it was the ONLY rainbow at his dubai show, I feel that says it all that out of all the clips they could’ve used, they used one with the rainbow clearly visible. Okay that’s it. Thankyou for reading through my blabber. I’m too emotional right now and I had to share it. Have a great weekend! (Attaching the photo)

Hi honey. Oh, that’s so moving. And so wonderfully brave that you did that for him (and yourself). I’m really happy you were able to experience being there. 💖💖💖

[dangerpronebuddie]

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night 7/?

28. An accidental kiss between two exes?

Summary:

Ravi's eyes widened. "Um... what was that?"

Hen and Buck frowned at him. "What was what?" Buck asked.

"Eddie kissed you," Ravi stated.

"That is what boyfriends tend to do," Hen said.

"Bo- boyfriends?" Ravi frowned. "I didn't know you got back together."

(Ravi definitely thinks Buck and Eddie are divorced.)

(Read below!) Muah!

"For the last time, I didn't say the q word!" Ravi cried. He'd been hearing the accusation for the entirety of a hellish twenty four hour shift. Now, standing in the locker rooms, the guys weren't about to let up. Well, guy, singular. Chim started in around their third call in the span of an hour, and hadn't stopped since.

Chim slammed his locker closed. "Somebody must've. It was you or Diaz, I'm certain of it."

"No wonder you always lose the betting pools, Chim," Eddie grinned beside him as he buttoned his shirt. "We didn't say it. It was just a wacky shift."

Chim glared at the two of them. Ravi shook his head and opened his locker. "You're just upset you weren't the one to do the maneuver today."

Chim made an affronted noise. "It was my turn," he defended.

"You can go next time," Buck piped up with a grin.

"Too soon, Buckley," Chim said, jabbing a finger at him.

Ravi had heard several stories about the infamous lightning incident. He knew Chim blamed himself for not insisting on going up. But Buck never once blamed him. There was no one to blame at all. Ravi was just glad Buck was starting to actually process his death, instead of hide it.

Buck shrugged. "Just saying. It was Ravi's turn anyway. He had to have his first time."

Ravi beamed. The maneuver was a lot more fun than it had any right to be.

"Wait a sec," Eddie frowned. "I've never done the maneuver either."

"Because you're always the one making sure I don't fall when I do it," Buck grinned.

"Then next time, I can do it," Eddie declared, shrugging into his suede jacket.

"Oh no you don't, Diaz," Chim protested. "Me first." He hiked his duffle onto his shoulder and marched out.

"I'm gonna convince Bobby to make a chart so we take turns," Buck mused.

"And conveniently leave Chim off of it?" Ravi guessed.

Buck grinned widely. Ravi never wanted to be on his bad side. Again anyway.

The three filed out into the cold December wind, meeting Hen near the doors.

"You guys want to grab a beer?" she suggested.

The three nodded in a chorus of agreement.

"I'll meet you guys there," Eddie said, "I've gotta drop Chris off at a friend's house for the weekend."

"Don't let him forget his coat this time," Buck scolded.

"I still maintain that was on you, bud," Eddie grinned. He gave Buck a quick kiss before marching off to his truck.

Ravi's eyes widened. "Um... what was that?"

Hen and Buck frowned at him. "What was what?" Buck asked.

"Eddie kissed you," Ravi stated.

"That is what boyfriends tend to do," Hen said.

"Bo- boyfriends?" Ravi frowned. "I didn't know you got back together."

"We've... never not been?" Buck's frown deepened.

"But I thought... You guys were divorced weren't you?" Ravi was probably confusing everyone else more than himself. Even Hen was looking at him like he grew a second head.

"Where... did you get that idea?" Buck asked.

"When I was a probie, you guys were always together. Then just before he left for dispatch you were hardly speaking. I just thought you guys broke up or something," Ravi explained, feeling his face heat.

"They're just like that," Hen waved off.

"Uh, hey now," Buck protested.

"Buck, come on. You guys have been divorced maybe three times already," she drawled.

"Okay, technically it was only two. The second time was completely different," Buck reasoned. "The lawsuit and the Natalia thing are the only divorces we've had."

"I'm so confused," Ravi whispered. He really wished he hadn't brought it up.

"Alright," Buck sighed, slinging an arm over Ravi's shoulders and steering him to Ravi's car. "Time for a history lesson, kid."

Ravi looked at Hen, his eyes wide as saucers. She merely cackled and wished him luck as she left for her car.

By the time they reached the bar, Ravi knew it all:

Shannon

The ladder truck (ouch)

The tsunami (double ouch)

The lawsuit (fools)

The well (yikes)

The shooting (which Ravi cried through the story)

And the lightning (which he missed thanks to his own side quest.)

He even got the abridged version of how Buck and Eddie became a very much not divorced couple. Of all ways, Ravi did not expect how it actually happened.

He assumed it would be after one of their many close calls, or after a night out drinking. Even a quiet afternoon in a park somewhere seemed more plausible. What actually occurred was a jealous Buck kissing Eddie just within eyesight of the PTA after no less than thirty parents spent the evening hitting on Eddie.

When Ravi asked why Buck picked that specific moment, Buck shrugged and said something about tomorrow not being promised to anyone.