#anyways I will forever feel so robbed that we didn’t get to see ANY reactions from izzy during the ned lowe torture ☹️☹️

[sinfulsunni]

sorry for getting a boner when guys get tortured. as if it’s my fault.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Fight Club

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary: Everyone will say Jason Todd is protective of the people he loves. But sometimes independence is more important than protecting. 

Word Count: 4,000 [One Shot]

Warnings: harassment, stalking, general daily discomfort that women have to deal with 

Y/N was so fucking tired.

It was a miracle that she hadn’t fallen asleep on the bus home from work.

But anyone with half a brain knew that doing so in Gotham was basically asking to get robbed or worse.

Never fall asleep on public transit. Only buy purses and wallets that zip close. Never leave any personal belongings alone in public. Never use an ATM at night. Only take well-traveled and well-lit routes. Always be aware of your surroundings.

These were the unwritten rules of living in Gotham. It was how you stayed safe, how you stayed alive. But even when one followed them strictly, that didn’t insure that they would always be safe.

Which is why Y/N noticed a middle-aged man staring her down on the bus. He knew what he was doing. He knew that he was making her uncomfortable. He was clearly getting off on it.

Y/N just blasted the music in her headphones and pretended not to notice. But she could feel his leering and it made her stomach twist into knots.

She looked down at her watch: 6PM.

Y/N knew she could call Jason. She knew this.

It would take her all of 30 seconds to explain the situation, Jason would instantly understand and then be waiting at her bus stop for her, ready to escort her home safely and glare at whoever had made her uncomfortable.

But Jason was probably sleeping still. 

Last night, he’d returned from patrol needing stitches and had so many bruises scattered across his face that Y/N kept messing up her counting. She was also suspicious that his right hand was broken, but Jason brushed if off so smoothly that she let it slide.

The point was that Y/N had managed to force pain meds on her boyfriend. Jason always slept until late afternoon after patrols anyways, basically becoming nocturnal since he often wouldn’t get back until 5AM.

The meds were meant to make him sleep all day and force him to recover.

The stubborn part of Y/N didn’t want to prevent Jason from getting his much needed recovery and rest.

Except this guy didn’t plan on just staring at her.

When he saw that she was getting off at the stop that was just announced, he too stood up from his seat and moved to the other exit that she wasn’t using.

Y/N was aware of all of this, making sure to track him subtly through the corner of her gaze. It was from the conditioning that all women unfortunately had to go through, whether they realized or not.

Without turning around, she caught his reflection in the window of a building she walked past. He kept a distance to remain unsuspicious, but it was obvious that he was following her.

Y/N tried to subtly walk faster. But she also realized she couldn’t go straight home now. Even with Red Hood being her live-in boyfriend, there was no way she was letting this creep know where she lived.

She started taking a strange route, making weird turns. But it was hard not to lose him without fully running, which she didn’t want to do until it felt absolutely necessary.

But then she came upon a coffeeshop that she knew had a front and back entrance.

She quickly went inside and pretended to get in line for coffee. But when she looked for the man in the corner of her eye, he wasn’t going to come in. Instead, he decided to linger outside and wait for her to come out.

Y/N subtly left the line and made for the back exit.

‘Now it’s time to run,’ she thought to herself.

Y/N was grateful that she had decided to wear stylish sneakers today instead of heels.

By the time she reached the steps of her apartment building, she was breathing heavily. She had been looking over her shoulder every few feet to make sure the creep didn’t get smart.

When she reached her door, she made sure to be quiet in case Jason was still sleeping. Then when she reached the bedroom and quietly opened the door, her mountain of a boyfriend was still passed out in bed with his face pressed into her pillow.

Y/N decided to get started on dinner and quietly moved about the kitchen.

But no matter how much she tried to concentrate on her cooking, her mind kept returning to the man who had tried to follow her home.

What would he have done if he found out where she lived?

Did he plan on grabbing her before she got there?

Did he just get off on making women scared?

Was he planning on raping her? Abducting her? Killing her?

The more Y/N thought about it, the more her fear shifted into rage. Why was it so much more unsafe for women to just merely exist in the world?

But she had no intention of telling Jason.

He would be furious. Not at her, at a man who thought it was OK to even make his girlfriend feel uncomfortable and unsafe – let alone any woman. He would go on a hunt for him and teach him a lesson.

Jason Todd was protective of the people he loved and the innocent – of which Y/N was both. But he also had a bad temper. And whoever was the reason for it starting up better run for their life because Red Hood was not a merciful man and his morals were unpredictable.

So, no. Y/N was not planning on telling her boyfriend, who was also secretly a vigilante with rage issues, about the man who ogled her on public transit and tried to follow her home.

But Y/N was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear said boyfriend finally wake up.

Next thing she knew, someone was slowly wrapping their arms around her waist.

Y/N jumped.

Obviously it was Jason. She knew that. This was not uncommon behavior for him.

But after the day she had and being lost in her thoughts, the feeling of someone’s touch scared the life out of her.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jason immediately muttered in a whisper at her reaction. “It’s just me.”

Y/N turned around in hopes of easing any worry before he asked any questions.

“Sorry,” she gasped. “I didn’t hear you wake up.”

But Jason narrowed his gaze at the crazed look in her eyes. He could somehow feel her heart racing as he gripped her torso, and traced lines up and down her rib cage with his thumbs in an attempt to soothe her.

“What happened?” He asked as he brushed some hair out of her face.

“Nothing. I’m fine. I was just in my head and zoning out, so you scared me.”

Jason was basically a human lie detector. So he raised an eyebrow at her attempt.

“Y/N,” he warned.

She sighed and shook her head. “Promise you’ll just listen? That you won’t freak out?”

Now Jason was even more worried. “Y/N, what happened?”

She sighed again, knowing it was pointless to ask him not to freak out when it came to her. Now all she could hope for is that she’d be able to calm him down.

Y/N explained what happened to Jason: the bus, the following, the running to make sure a threatening stranger didn’t follow her home.

She could see Jason’s body getting more and more tense, and his expression angrier and angrier. His hands clenched into fits. His posture straightened with purpose.

“Did he grab you? Did he touch you?” Jason asked as soon as he was sure she was done with her whole story.

“No, but…” her words died out.

“He didn’t have to for you to feel violate,” Jason offered her.

Y/N nodded and hung her head.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Jason asked softly.

“I…I don’t know. I wanted to you to rest.” Then Y/N really thought about it. “And despite his intentions being very clear…there was still a voice in my head telling me not to overreact, that there was a small chance I was being paranoid.”

“Y/N, even if you had been wrong, I would’ve rather you felt safe than worry about being wrong. I wouldn’t have been mad at you, or even annoyed.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Y/N.” Jason sighed and pulled her into his arms. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just love you and want you to be safe.”

She nodded into his shoulder.

———

For the next week, Jason was waiting for Y/N every day after work at her bus stop to walk her home. She didn’t ask him to or even suggest it. But Jason knew she was still shaken after the incident. And the last thing he wanted was his girlfriend living in fear.

On the eighth day of him doing this, Y/N finally spoke up.

“Jason, ya know, you can’t do this forever…”

“I know,” he smirked.

“Why are you smiling?”

“How would you feel about me teaching you some self defense?”

Y/N stopped walking and turned to face him. “Are you messing with me?”

“Nope.”

———

The next weekend, Y/N found herself in the bat cave with her boyfriend, both of them in workout clothes.

“First things first, you have to gain your strength. I can teach you all the moves I want, but you have to make sure your body is in the right condition to defend yourself. And I don’t mean just physically. Confidence is key, beautiful.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the last part, but still smiled.

“Did we have to have an audience?” She asked as she looked over to see that Tim was on the computer, and Dick and Barbara were working out together.

“Ignore them.”

The next couple of hours, Jason taught Y/N all of the basics of self defense. Especially the tips that benefitted women.

Eye strike. Knee to the groin. Heel-palm attack. Elbow hit. How to escape from a bear-hug attack. How to free herself from a choke hold. How to get out of a headlock.

Y/N was covered with sweat. Meanwhile, Jason looked as put together as he had when they started.

“OK,” she finally said with hands on her hips as she tried to catch her breath. “But if someone that’s the same size as me tried to attack me, I don’t have a chance.”

Jason tilted his head to the side. “And who said that?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “J, come on. Look at you! Do you really think I would be able to get away – no matter how hard I tried?”

She looked her boyfriend up and down. He was built like a tank, standing at 6’3 and with an almost inhuman width. Just his thighs seemed bigger than her torso.

While Y/N loved cuddly with her giant teddy bear of a boyfriend, she had mercy for anyone that decided to pick a fight with Jason Todd or Red Hood. They didn’t stand a chance.

“Size isn’t everything,” Jason told her with a wink.

She rolled her eyes again.

“Dick! Barbara! Can you come here for a sec?”

“What’s up?” Dick asked with Barbara by his side.

“Y/N thinks that she’d never be able to take on someone bigger than her,” Jason shared with them.

Barbara didn’t even bother trying to hide her laughter.

Dick smirked. “It’ll take a lot of training, Y/N. But don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to kick Jason’s ass. Until then, let us know if he’s giving you any trouble and we’ll handle him for you.”

Jason glared at his older brother, but chose not to give his usual sarcastic retorts. He turned his attention back to Y/N instead. “Dicky here is 5’10 and about 175. Meanwhile, Babs is 5’6 and can’t weigh more than 120.”

Barbara crossed her arms. “Didn’t you ever learn that it’s not polite to comment on a woman’s weight?”

Jason gave her an apologetic look but he knew she wasn’t actually offended. “The point is that I’ve seen Barbara hand Dick his ass more times than I can count. Not to mention guys twice her size.”

Then he looked at the couple and gestured to the sparring mat. “Would you be so kind?”

Dick didn’t seem to have any issue with facing off with his girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Barbara looked excited.

As the two of them began sparring, Jason lowered his voice down to Y/N and pointed out Barbara’s strategies and moves. Then he would explain how she was manipulating her smaller frame and turning it into an advantage.

Next thing Y/N knew, Barbara had Dick on the floor.

Dick was beaming up at his girlfriend with nothing but pride and awe.

“See?” Jason muttered quietly in Y/N’s ear.

Barbara laughed and held a hand to help Dick up. He jumped back onto his feet and gave his girlfriend a kiss. 

“What’s going on?” A voice said at the bottom of the stairs.

They all turned to see Damian had entered the Bat Cave.

“Teaching Y/N some self defense,” Jason shrugged.

Damian sighed. “I do not understand why society does not train women to defend themselves – especially when they are not protected from evil men.”

Y/N laughed. “Not everyone was raised by a league of assassins, Damian.”

But then Damian’s words hit her again in a different way. She spaced out for a moment.

Jason looked at her with concern. “You OK?”

She just nodded.

He wasn’t convinced, but let her be. “I think that’s enough training for today.”

Jason’s brothers convinced him and Y/N to stay for a family movie night. 

They used Jason’s old room to shower, since Y/N was covered in sweat by the end of her self defense lesson. Jason gave her some of his old clothes for her to wear that he’d left behind.

When they got to the theatre room, Jason could tell how exhausted Y/N was. She was going to be sore tomorrow – probably for a few days, actually.

She curled into Jason as they grabbed one of the love seats. In moments like these, Jason was always amused how she seemed more like his pet cat than his girlfriend.

Dick and Barbara cuddled together, as well.

Damian brought a book, pretended to already be bored, and acted like he was forced to join family movie night.

Tim brought in his laptop so he could continue to work.

Alfred brought them snacks every so often.

Even Bruce came in halfway through the movie, making his entrance so subtle that they almost didn’t notice.

But lo and behold, not even 15 minutes into the movie, Y/N had passed out. 

Jason ended up having to carry her to his car after the movie – not that he minded in the slightest – and drive home as smoothly as possible, so he didn’t wake her.

———

A few days later, Y/N found Jason reading while lounging on the couch in the living room of their shared apartment.

She hopped on beside him, laying across his chest and sliding underneath his book.

Jason chuckled at her antics and put his book down, realizing she wanted his full attention and not just to snuggle while he continued to read.

“So, I was thinking…” Y/N began.

“Mhmm,” Jason hummed.

“I’m not the only woman in Gotham who’s been harassed. You of all people know that – probably better than I do.”

Jason’s amusement disappeared as he listened to where she was going.

“Did you know that in most big cities, there are almost always more women than men?”

“I did not.”

Then she sat up straight, but remained close to him. “But Gotham is the only major American city where there are 20% more men than women.” She waited for him to interrupt, but he just continued to pay close attention. “Researchers believe it’s because of the high crime rate in Gotham, and therefore it’s even more unsafe for women to live here than men.”

“Makes sense,” Jason agreed. “Why are you telling me this?”

“When you started giving me self-defense lessons and then Damian made the comment about no one training women, I kept thinking how other women don’t have a family of vigilantes to keep them safe or teach them how to defend themselves.”

“I’ve seen enough of this city to know that you’re right,” Jason commented darkly.

“Exactly.”

“You still haven’t explained why we’re talking about this…”

“Right,” Y/N smiled embarrassingly. “What if we – I don’t know – started a center for women to learn what you taught me. Completely pro bono. Like a…”

“Fight Club?” Jason offered with a smirk.

“Well, not exactly. But kinda,” Y/N giggled.

Then she frowned as her mind was still working all of it out. “I just don’t know who could teach it. You and your family are already too busy. Teaching women how to defend themselves is a little beneath you…”

“First of all, it’s not beneath us. But you’re right: Dick barely has a second to spend with Babs. Tim is so sleep deprived that he’s just gonna collapse one day. It also wouldn’t be smart for our cover and show that all the Wayne kids can hold themselves in a fight. People might start putting things together...”

“Right,” Y/N agreed and looked further disappointed.

“Hey,” Jason said with an encouraging smile and lifted her chin to look at him. “It’s a good idea. And between my brothers and me, we know plenty of retired heroes that would be more than willing to help out.”

Y/N’s eyes brightened. “Really?”

He nodded. “Dinah, Roy, Wally and Artemis. Hell, I bet if Bruce mentioned it to Diana, she’d smuggle in some Amazons to really show ‘em.”

Y/N smiled at the idea.

“You should tell Bruce,” Jason added.

“Bruce?”

“He has a habit of blindly writing checks for a good cause. I bet he’d just straight up buy you a warehouse to hold classes in.”

She frowned. “I don’t – won’t he feel like I’m taking advantage of him?”

Jason laughed. “I know he’s shit at showing it, but Bruce likes you. And I think he’d be more than happy to help.”

Y/N’s eyes glazed over. “Bruce Wayne likes me?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head…”

“So, you think this is a good idea?”

Jason couldn’t help himself when she looked this adorable and excited. He grabbed her torso and flipped them so her back was on the couch and he was now hovering above her.

“I think it’s a great idea,” he told her softly before kissing her.

But before Y/N could push the intimacy any further, Jason pulled away from her lips.

“I have to tell you something,” his voice suddenly went serious.

Y/N’s smile dropped. “What? What is it?”

“I know you didn’t want me to…”

Then she sat up, lightly pushing Jason off of her. “Christ, Jason. What did you do?”

He took in a quick breath. “I found him.”

“Found who?”

“The guy who followed you.”

“Fuck,” Y/N put her hands over her face. “Jason. God. What the fuck.” “I know! I know. I should’ve told you sooner.”

Y/N rubbed her face and looked at him. “Please, please tell you didn’t kill him.”

Jason had the audacity to roll his eyes. “I didn’t kill him, OK? Happy?”

“No, I’m not happy! You went after him when I explicitly asked you not to!”

“Did you forget that the guy you’re dating is also a vigilante? In what world did you expect me to not look him up?” He shook his head in wonder. “I mean, the idiot’s face was all over the public transit database I hacked when I looked up the footage from the cameras on your bus – not to mention the footage from half the storefronts you walked by.”

Y/N only glared at him.

“Don’t be mad,” he requested.

“Well, I am.”

Jason sighed. Then he scooted closer, hoping she’d allow it. “Look, I get what’s going on. And I get why you want to help all these women.”

She eyed him, but let him continue.

“I’m sure it’s hard to believe, but I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t protect yourself.” He cleared his throat, catching himself. “I know it’s not the same as what women have to deal with on a daily basis. I’ll never really know what that’s like.”

Jason kept all the terrible things he’d seen on patrol to himself. But there were things he knew would terrify and traumatize her. Because of this, Jason wasn’t as oblivious to the suffering of women as the majority of men were. Or maybe he just chose to actually acknowledge it and care.

He took in a deep breath. “But I just hated the idea of someone doing that to you. And I know there’s probably a million times its happened and you haven’t told me, or you didn’t even notice because you’ve gotten so used to it. I just…I couldn’t let him get away with it.”

Jason paused to let her process his excuse. He’d be the first to admit it wasn’t a good one.

But Jason Todd was fiercely protective of the people he loved. And Red Hood’s sole purpose was to protect the those who couldn’t protect themselves – no matter the cost.

So when his girlfriend was troubled enough to lose sleep or zoned out constantly to rehash what happened, he was going to do something about it.

Jason was fully aware of his anger issues. But he also learned how to redirect them to be something a bit more productive.

“So…what did you do to him?” Y/N asked nervously.

He gave her a look, silently asking her if she really wanted to know.

“Jason…” she warned him.

“He had a record, OK? Let’s just say you weren’t the first woman he’s done that to. And a lot of them weren’t as lucky as you. So he got what he fucking deserved.”

“And what is that?” She pushed, refusing to let him gloss over it so easily.

Jason rolled his eyes. “I roughed him up a bit, alright? Told him I’d be watching. Scared the shit out of him enough that, hopefully, he won’t ever pull that shit again.”

Y/N let out a laugh and shook her head at him.

Jason would take her amusement over her anger any day, even if she was teasing him.

“What?” He asked through a grin.

She bopped his nose. “So protective over me.”

Jason had enough of the distance between them.

He moved her body so she had no choice but to sit on his lap. “‘Course I am.”

Then he kissed her. But when he pulled away, his face was rather thoughtful.

“You’re not going to feel helpless forever, ya know.”

They were words to comfort her. Because deep down Jason knew that promising to always be there for her wasn’t going to make her feel better. She wanted him as her boyfriend, not her bodyguard – despite Jason being more than happy to be both for her.

“I know,” Y/N confirmed with a shy smile.

-------------------------------------

Whatcha think?

[ourloveisforthelovely]

A Perfect Storm Part 2

Harry Potter Marauders Era-Post Hogwarts 

Link to Part 1 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

Songs in chapter: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons. Mr. Brightside by The Killers

______

Weep for yourself, my man. You'll never be what is in your heart. Weep, little lion man. You're not as brave as you were at the start. Rate yourself and rake yourself. Take all the courage you have left. And waste it on fixing all the problems. That you made in your own head. But it was not your fault but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear?

Evan lightly elbowed Regulus in the side before stepping into the room. You didn’t look up right away. It was clear that you were used to Evan just coming in whenever the hell he wanted. Knowing the sounds of your brother’s footsteps, you most likely felt no need to see who was coming into the room.

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

Evan started. Your face immediately looked up from the sheet music that you were so closely studying. The moment that you met Regulus’ gaze, your mouth dropped. Over the past few years, you had been playing this moment out in your head.

And he was there...as he always should have been.

You didn’t move or make any facial expressions. Regulus looked just as he always did only a bit more exhausted and done with everyone’s shit. He was still the handsome man that you had fallen in love with.

You have to stop. You have to protect yourself.

The “strong” voice in your head spoke warily. As much as you wanted to run to him and throw your arms around him, you weren't about to. Because of him, you had fallen into a soul-sucking depression that you almost didn’t make it out of. He hurt you. Regulus was the one person that wasn’t supposed to hurt you.

“Wow, Evan you were right. That didn’t take long.”

Evan winced as Regulus shot him a scowl.

“I kind of told her that we should expect to see you soon and well...here you are.”

Evan explained before going to the couch and sitting down. Regulus kept his attention on his best friend.

“Evan, leave us. This is about to be awkward enough.”

Evan shook his head. He didn’t plan on leaving the two of you alone only to come back to see the two of you screwing each other. The older brother in Evan wouldn’t let him.

“I have been waiting for this moment a long time and I won’t be robbed of it.”

Regulus shrugged before turning back to you, his princess. You hadn’t changed at all.

She’s only grown more lovely…

Regulus thought as you stood up and crossed your arms over your chest. You weren't happy with him and Regulus could see it. If you started throwing things at him he wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. You were hurt and it was all because of him (well, Ambrosia but Regulus would forever blame himself). The two of you were supposed to be married by now. You were both supposed to be happy with each other and have your own family. Regulus wasn’t supposed to be here begging for forgiveness for having a child with some horrible bitch that ruined your life.

“It didn’t take you long to come. One would think that as much as you claimed to love your wife that you would be home mourning her loss. Do me a favor, Regulus, go back home and be a good father to your daughter. Leave me out of it.”

Your words hurt worse than if you had given him the middle finger. Regulus blinked a few times before remembering that he could talk. He was not about to put up with this.

“You have to listen to me, Y/n. It was a love potion. She has been slipping me a love potion for the past five years.”

You started laughing hard at that before turning to Evan who was smirking as he lit a cigarette.

“Evan, you literally just said that.”

Evan shrugged.

“He’s telling the truth, sister. You know that, given the past few years, I wouldn’t take his side but Regulus drank veritaserum right in front of me. He isn’t lying.”

Your mouth dropped as it all made sense. Regulus’ sudden and complete infatuation with Ambrosia, the way that he just walked away out of the blue, everything. The knowledge didn’t stop the hurt though. Knowing that Ambrosia literally stole Regulus (with no input of his own) made you angrier.

That horrible bitch of a woman has literally ruined my life! She stole what was supposed to be both mine and Regulus’ future! I hope that she is burning in hell right now.

You knew that the thought was cold and if your mother heard it there would be the very real chance that she would smack you.

There was also the realization of just what Regulus was going through. Mad at him or not, you felt immense pity for your love. Your love...you could admit that. Regulus would always be your love. It didn’t matter how many men you went on dates with...none of them would be able to compare to the feelings that you felt for him. You could only imagine how he felt “waking up” from the effects of a love potion to find his life completely out of order and ruined. It was no wonder that he looked so exhausted and confused.

You didn’t know how to process all of the thoughts in your head at the moment. After spending so many years angry and bitter at Regulus, you didn’t know how to emotionally handle what you were hearing.

Moving to the window, you had to think about what to say. Regulus, meanwhile, moved closer to you. He was partially afraid that you would smack him but it was a risk that he was willing to take. Regulus was even willing to fight Evan if he needed to.

Regulus turned to his friend for a moment to see Evan’s reaction to everything. Evan was sitting with a burning cigarette in his hand as he watched like a hawk. His blue eyes were hyper-focused on his sister ready to jump in and protect you at any given time. Regulus gave him a simple nod. Had things been different, Regulus would have approved of Evan’s behavior. Today, however, Regulus wanted to tell him to take a pill and relax.

“Princess, I’m sorry for everything. You know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I my dear?”

Regulus’ hand was on yours as you finally turned to look at him. It didn’t matter how nice it felt with him touching you again, you weren't sure where everything stood. Regulus didn’t seem to understand your confusion. Yes, he was apologizing, and that in itself was nice but were you mentally able to handle an apology and “everything would be okay?”

Your mind went to his daughter. Would you be able to look at this child? What if every time you looked at the kid you saw Ambrosia? It wasn’t the child’s fault, you knew this but that didn’t stop the pain of knowing Regulus’ daughter wasn’t yours. Would Regulus expect you to step in and love the child as if she was your own? The better question was did you think that you would be able to? You didn’t know. What if you did love the child? What if you fell in love with the little girl and something happened between Regulus and yourself? You would lose two people this time.

What did you know about being a mother anyway? Your mother was no pristine example of what a mother should be. She would shove Evan, Felix, and yourself off on nannies all the time. She only wanted to deal with the lot of you when it came time to show off how “good” the Rosier family was. How were you supposed to know what to do with Regulus’ daughter?

Pulling yourself from your thoughts, you turned to face Regulus. His eyes were locked on your face.

Merlin, he is still so intense...

“Do you not realize how difficult this is for me? Everything about you has changed.”

Regulus shook his head. Nothing about him had changed. He just had a few added bonuses that he didn’t have before.

“Nothing about me has changed. It's like I just woke up and missed a few years of my life. I’m standing here apologizing for everything. You’ve changed too but I’m willing to accept some of the new changes. How do you think it is for me to see what you do for a living?”

You figured the modeling would come up.

“I make good money and I am really good at my job.”

Regulus’ face was dark. He hated the thought of people, like his brother, seeing you nearly naked in magazines. Regulus was immediately jealous. Those “beauties” were meant for Regulus to only look at.

“You show people your tits and ass. You’re supposed to be mine.”

Regulus didn’t mean for the comment to come out as cold as it did but it happened. Your mouth dropped, noticing Evan in the corner of the room putting a hand over his mouth.

“It was nice knowing you, Regulus.”

Evan muttered under his breath as you turned back to Regulus.

“You lost the privilege of putting your thoughts in when you married that bitch! You were supposed to be my husband!”

“Well, fuck Y/n, I am standing here trying to fix it and you are bitting my head off.”

You threw down the teacup that you were holding. The house-elf, Curly, came running in with her dustpan and little broom ready to sweep the mess up. She had become accustomed to you throwing things and needing to clean it up.

Evan jumped up. He knew that this conversation was going south quickly.

“Okay, time for a breather. Regulus, what did you expect? Do you think that Y/n is going to run off to play house with you? Y/n is heartbroken over this whole thing and you are foolish if you expect her to just get over it and take you back as if nothing has changed. Y/n, he is honestly apologizing but, as I said, you don’t have to just get over it. You need to heal.”

You nodded, silently thanking your brother. Regulus, meanwhile, was scowling at Evan.

“I don’t expect her to come and play house with me. I am trying to fix what I destroyed!”

Evan nodded.

“Now that we all understand each other...Y/n, what do you have to say?”

You opened and closed your hands a few times.

“I think we are all bat shit fucking insane is what I think. Regulus, I can’t talk to you right now. I need some time.”

You snapped before turning and storming out of the room.

You had been in your room for around 15 minutes when there was a soft knock on the door. Not moving from your place on your bed, you waited until the door opened and closed.

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

You internally groaned hearing your mother’s voice. She sat down on the bed beside you and gently stroked her hands through your hair.

“Yes, mother?”

You replied.

“Evan told me about Regulus Black coming to see you. There is something that I would like to say about that.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing where this was going.

“Let me guess, you want me to accept his apology and forgive him. If he asks me to marry him, I need to say yes because this is a smart match and you know that I still love him so very much.”

You didn’t see the annoyed expression on your mother’s face.

“Well, now I don’t have to say it.”

You sat up and shoved your now messy hair from your face.

“Mother, he left me for another woman. I don’t care if it was under a love potion or not. He also has a child with this woman. Do you realize how hard this is for me? Do you honestly expect me to love something that came out of that woman? How could you?”

Your mother rolled her eyes.

“Y/n, you can be so dramatic. You have both the king and queen of chess in your hands and do not seem to realize it. This child is a girl and essentially has nothing to offer the Black family. You, my dear, can give Regulus a son. The Black family needs an heir to continue alone. We both know that Sirius and the werewolf won’t be able to produce that..unless something extremely unusual happens. Everything is on Regulus. No matter how adorable the little girl is, a daughter’s only real purpose is to be married into a well-to-do family.”

“Way to make me feel special, mum.”

You muttered as your mother gave you a displeased scowl. The last thing that you really wanted to think about was how sexist the pureblood world could be but here it was thrown in your face again. You knew what was expected of you and so did Evan (even though he didn’t seem in too big of a hurry to do anything.) You had it in your mind the Felix would be the one that would continue the Rosier bloodline. Evan was too busy and proud being a death eater. He didn’t even seem interested in any woman or man that came his way.

“You know that I am right, Y/n. As I said, you hold both the king and queen of chess in your pretty little hands. Maybe you should put them to use.”

(meanwhile)

Regulus stormed back into Grimmauld Place ready to kill some poor unfortunate soul should they get in his way. Walburga sat in her reading room and looked up when Regulus dropped onto the couch across from her.

“Well?”

Regulus was fuming. He had expected the conversation with you to go better than what it did. You essentially telling him to fuck off, was the last thing that he expected. Had it been years ago, Regulus would have been able to charm you with a few bats of his eyes. Today, however, there was no such thing.

“What do you mean, well?”

Regulus snapped in his mother’s direction. Walburga put down the book that she was holding.

“You know perfectly well what I mean, Regulus. How did it go with Y/n?”

Regulus snorted.

“A fucking disaster of epic proportions.”

“Mind your language in this house, son. Now, what happened?”

Regulus groaned. He really didn’t want to think of what happened again. All that he wanted to do at the moment was find a bottle of fire whiskey and go the fuck to sleep.

“She hates me.”

Walburga rolled her eyes.

“You’re so dramatic, Regulus.”

Regulus sat up straight. The rage that was going through him over the lingerie modeling was about to come flowing out like a volcano and his mother was going to be the innocent villager that was in the way of the lava.

“She’s a lingerie model now. Mum, she is showing off things that only I am supposed to see. Do you think that I enjoy knowing that other men are looking at her breasts? The answer is no. I begged her to forgive me and she said she needed time to think.”

Regulus jumped up and started pacing the room.

“Why would she want to get back with me? I hurt her and not to mention I have a child with the girl that made her life miserable. Why would any woman in the right mind want to take that back?”

Walburga knew well about your new career. While it wasn’t something that she would do herself, clearly you were doing well. It wasn’t like you were a pornographic film actress or a stripper. A model was a perfectly fine career and you were lovely enough for it.

“I don’t know what it is with the men in this family being so weak.”

Walburga replied. Regulus stopped and glared at her.

“I am not weak, mother! I can assure you that if you were in my shoes, with your world falling apart, you would be freaking out too.”

Walburga rolled her eyes again.

“Give Y/n some time to process everything that she has heard. This is a lot to one’s system. Look at your father, for example, he hasn’t said a word in three days...not that I am complaining. Try wooing Y/n a little better? I swear men are horrible at it.”

Regulus was silent for a moment as he considered his mother’s words. He was good at wooing you before. Why would he be able to do it again now?

“Wooing...great idea. Excuse me, mother. I have some things to do.”

Walburga held a hand up.

“Regulus?”

“Yes?”

Walburga looked up with an almost bored expression.

“Don’t buy her a lot of flowers, my son. No woman enjoys their home looking like a funeral parlor. Another word of mother's advice, you are the heir to this family. While I love Phoebe very much we do need a male heir. Things are upon your shoulders to keep our noble family going.”

Regulus didn’t let Walburga see the cold expression on his face. Of course, this is what Walburga would be concerned about. She wasn’t worried about Regulus’ happiness. So what if her son was a depressed angry mess as long as the family line was saved then nothing else mattered.

“Yes, mother.”

(the next day)

You sat at the table beside Evan. Your brother’s eyes were locked on the Daily Prophet on an article about “suspected death eater activity.” He looked up at you with a grin as you stirred your tea.

“I did this.”

He said with a grin. You raised an eyebrow and didn't speak for a moment. Even though being a death eater was perfectly normal in your family, you still worried about your brother.

“How surprising.”

You commented as an owl landed on the windowsill and started knocking on the glass. Evan stood up with a frown.

“Are you expecting anything?”

You shook your head as he went to retrieve the package that the owl was so eagerly showing off.

“Little show off.”

Evan commented before giving the bird a treat and taking the package away from its foot.

“I’ll be damned.”

You looked up as he came back to the table. Your mother shot Evan a disapproving scowl.

“Language, Evan.”

Evan smirked.

“This time it's excusable, mum. Y/n, Regulus sent you something.”

Your mouth dropped as you took the box from your brother. This was the last thing that you expected. You expected Regulus to remain in the shadows until you sent for him. Regulus would typically revert back to his introverted nature and not want to make the first move...but here you were.

“What is it, sweetheart?”

Your mother questioned as you tore into the box and a small velvet box landed in your hand.

Oh hell

You thought. If his crazy ass sent you an engagement ring, you would die right here at the breakfast table then haunt Regulus for the rest of forever for killing you. Looking up, you met Evan’s wide eyes.

“I swear to Merlin if that is a…”

Evan started but stopped when his mother pinched his hand. You, meanwhile, took a breath and opened the box to see a pair of emerald earrings in the box...a very pretty obviously expensive pair of earrings.

“Those are lovely.”

Your mother exclaimed with a happy smile. They were pretty. Pretty wasn’t giving them enough justice. Regulus always picked out the best jewelry to give you and this was no exception.

Evan looked relieved as well to see no engagement ring. This meant that he didn’t have to go into big brother mode and ask Regulus if he was bat shit insane.

“They are nice.”

Evan agreed. Your mother stood up to take her plate to the kitchen because Curly the elf vanished.

“Y/n, I want you to talk to Regulus when he comes back again for you. I am not saying rush to marry him but for the love of God hear him out. Remember what I said about chess pieces.”

Evan turned to you with a curious frown. You shook your head.

“Just a bunch of pureblood sexist garbage that we have heard all of our lives.”

Evan nodded going back to the article about himself.

(later that afternoon)

You sat in a cafe with one of your friends and Evan having lunch. When Sam, who was also one of the designers that you modeled for, called asking if you wanted to go to lunch you were thrilled. You asked Evan to tag along because he looked like he needed to get away from your mother as well.

“So, he gave you earrings? Fascinating. At least he didn’t send you some generic version of a rose bouquet.”

Sam commented, taking a sip of his martini. You nodded.

“I don’t want my room looking like a mortuary.”

Sam and Evan both smiled at that.

“If a man sends me flowers there is no second date. I don’t have time to be watering plants on top of my job.”

Sam added as Evan nodded.

“If I had any interest in dating anyone and I did something Regulus’ level of insane I think that I would go to the level of precious gems and jewelry too. I may make something with my two little hands.”

You snorted at your brother’s comment. Evan was making it very clear that he blamed Regulus for everything. Sure, Ambrosia smuggled him a love potion but Regulus should have never drunk anything that she gave him. That was asking for it.

“Evan, you don’t need to make anything. The last time that you made me a bracelet it was oozing hot glue from broken beads.”

Evan shrugged.

“I tried and you said it was beautiful.”

Sam was laughing hard by this point.

“Clearly, she lied.”

Before Sam could add more, you looked up to see Walburga walking over.

Fuck

You thought as your eyes landed on the little girl who had her hand wrapped around Walburga’s wrist. Evan muttered “fuck” under his breath as he clearly saw everything too. You were unable to look away from the child. Holy fuck, did this child look like her father. This provided some relief. You were thrilled to say that you didn’t see one trace of Ambrosia Parkinson in her. Everything about her screamed Regulus Black. From her curly long hair to her icy grey eyes. She was also dressed neat as a pin You had a feeling that Walburga was behind a lot of that.

“Y/n.”

Walburga said your name with her usual haughty smile. You forced a smile before getting up to hug her.

“Walburga, it's nice to see you.”

“Likewise, dear. I heard that you were back from Paris. Regulus asked me to send you his regards. He’s out of town for the next few days.”

Walburga had noticed the stranger sitting beside Evan so she decided to keep information at a minimum in case this person was an “undesirable.” She also watched as an expression of hurt at Regulus’ name crossed your face before you returned to your normally calm disposition. Walburga had always considered you a ray of sunshine for Regulus and she was not about to let this chance of a “relationship” go unmended.

“I see. Tell him that I said thank you for the earrings. I sent a letter yesterday.”

Walburga nodded, with a smile.

“It's waiting for him at home. We have to be going. I hope to see you soon, darling.”

Walburga gently nudged her granddaughter along. The little girl’s eyes were locked on you the whole time but you tried to ignore it. At the moment, you were trying to appear brave and put together in front of Walburga. You weren't about to let her see how internally you were feeling like a wildfire about to spread.

As they walked away, you heard the little girl as Walbura who you were. Your stomach almost hit your ankles at Walburga’s response…

“Hopefully soon to be your father's girlfriend.”

Both Evan and yourself gapped at each other as you managed to sit back down. Sam didn’t say anything. He knew well about Regulus and at the moment you looked like you needed some “quiet time.”

“Sissy…”

Evan started as the song on the cafe’s radio caught your attention….

Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine. Gotta gotta be down because I want it all. It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? .It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss. Now I'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab. While he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag. Now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick and it's all in my head. But she's touching his chest now. He takes off her dress now. Let me go and I just can't look, it's killing me. And taking control. Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. Swimming through sick lullabies. Choking on your alibis. But it's just the price I pay. Destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes. 'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside

You quickly picked up your handbag, not looking at Sam or Evan.

“I have to get out of here.”

__________

@amelie-black @regulusslut @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @quuenofblacks @jessyballet @knreidy1 @teletubiswszpilkach @mimisparkle12 @hazncalsgal @acciosiriusblack @whymyparentscheckmyphone @criminalyetminimal @bennyberry @rubyroscoe1 @fific7 @spiderxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @marichromatic @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @stuckinsaudi1 @deanwherescas @sprnaturallover @untoldshortsofthefandoms @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

[pa-panda-heroes]

Hey! Not sure if my previous request sent so I’m going to send it again, sorry. Can you do a scenario where Tomura, Tamaki, and Hawks have a s/o with thick thighs who often gets embarrassed about how big they are? And the guys just lay on their thighs and it’s super fluffy? You can obviously ignore this if you want

It did don’t worry, I understand tumblr can be a pain sometimes! Ah, i feel like i may have deviated from the specifics of your request, i’m sorry >< hope you enjoy nonetheless ^^” Also it’s pretty long so i put it under a read more :>

Tomura, Tamaki, and Hawks with a s/o with thick thighs who often gets embarrassed about them scenarios!

Tomura:

It was hard to complain - or say anything, really - when you could see the tall, thin-legged woman in the video game Tomura played while you sat idly to his left on the sofa. Almost as if through instinct you brought the blanket that sat wrapped at his back over your legs. You’d thrown it over him earlier, and after some time he’d shrugged it off as if he got too hot. Yet there he was, looking for all the world offended and downright robbed as you took the blanket.

“What’d you do that for?” he asked, clearly pouting at you for robbing him of such cuddly, fuzzy warmth. Apparently. It was getting late, and sleepiness coated his voice.

“I’m... cold.”

Tomura made a face - one that clearly called you a liar, before he actually did so. “Liar.”

You knew better than to lie to him, he’d coax it out of you somehow. “It’s just... y’know, my legs. They’re big...” Your voice was meek and tiny.

“So? Mine are bony.” He shrugged away.

You couldn’t help but giggle at the genuine confusion in his voice. It was cute in his own way, and he admitted to being bony so unabashedly you didn’t know how else to react. He gave a huff you couldn’t quite translate and tossed his controller onto the coffee table, then switching off the TV and literally plopping his head into your lap while he lay on his side. You thought about protesting, but you knew how childish and bratty he could be when you denied him comfort.

Forefinger rubbing circles on your thigh, Tomura dug his face into your legs like a cat begging for rubs, his hand then gently grabbing the thigh furthest from it.  “Don’t be embarrassed around me. I like them,” he said plainly into your skin, though you knew he meant it. “This would be really uncomfortable for both of us if they were small, right?”

“W-well...” Getting the lump in your throat unstuck proved quite a feat, your cheeks and ears feeling like they’d been set aflame. You didn’t let him touch your thighs often, as it was just too... much, so for him to rest his head on them and caress them, it was unexpected. But pleasant and sweet nonetheless. You couldn’t help but brush his hair away from his face, and in doing so revealed serenely closed eyes and a sleepy pout that made your lips curl upward.

“Quite staring, it’s rude,” you hear him jut, before he moves his face to hide the fresh redness of his almost sickly-pale skin, and you stifle a giggle. A few moments of serene silence pass before he’s shifting to glance up at you again, eyes honest and ever-so-innocent somehow. “Hey, I like this. Don’t hide from me anymore, alright? I don’t care about something like that. I want to do this more often.” It’s not like he could tell you not to he embarrassed in general. But he at least didn’t want you embarrassed around him. Tomura brought a hand up to your cheek to gently glide along your cheek with three of this fingers. The touch was so gentle and sweet, it was almost like he was afraid you were made of glass and would shatter.

He turned on his side to adjust his legs across the sofa and settled in, and while you knew he couldn’t see it, you nodded a little. “Okay.”

“Stay with me forever,” you hear him mumble into your thigh. It was his own way of saying “I love you,” you’re well aware of that.

“I love you, Tomura.”

Oftentimes Tomura liked to fake being asleep, just for you to lavish him bu touching his hair - and you played into it anyway, happy to give - not that he didn’t appreciate your affection while he was awake. But this time, as you watched his breathing fall into a slow rhythm and quiet down, he fell asleep for real.

Tamaki:

Tamaki was no stranger to embarrassment himself, so he knew all too well what you felt. Maybe not exactly, but the whole “I need to hide from prying eyes or I’ll combust” shtick? Yeah, he had that down pat. Embarrassment, for Tamaki, is clearly no stranger. Neither is your embarrassment.

So when the two of you are out on your unexpectedly unison day off and you suddenly go silent, staring at the stick-statured women enjoying the cafe like the two of you, it’s hard not to notice. Most aren’t dressed in tight clothing as per Japan’s norm, but there are a few who wore long pants that seemed to elongate - and slim - their legs.

Tamaki’s first clue is when you shift in your seat and adjust your clothing. The second is when you seem to shrink into your seat while someone passes by. The third is when he asks you a question and you don’t hear enough of it to respond. He finds himself adjusting in his seat as he leans over a little. “Y/n, are you okay? You’re uncomfortable.”

“I-I’m sorry, can we leave and go home?” you sputter bashfully, while there is a hint of guilt in your voice, he knows it. For once you’re the one stuttering, not him. He leaves the appropriate yen notes and a few coins on the table, and the two of you leave to walk home. It’s evening by now, people on the streets sparce and the sky vibrant oranges and yellows. You walk hand in hand, arms swinging. The way the glow from sunset illuminated his face is gorgeous, and you almost wish you could take a picture when you get home, regretting that you didn’t as you plop onto the couch in the silence of your living room.

“You’re you,” he says, and you quirk a brow at him. Tamaki’s eyes are drifted off to the side, but there’s a strength within them and his tone. “You’re y/n. It doesn’t matter to me what you look like. As long as you’re still here, I-I’m happy.”

“T-Tamaki...” You’re quite shocked by how suddenly he brings this up, and how gingerly yet... firmly? You’re unsure if that’s the proper word. He’s not a nervous mess as he says it. It’s clear that he’s been waiting to say this, possibly afraid of your reaction - or because he’s just not confrontational that way.

Tamaki scratches the back of his head, slightly slouching over. “I know what other people may think bothers you. I feel that way about myself. Wh-what matters is what you think of yourself.” He finally looks back at you, and while you can tell he wants nothing more than to shove his forehead against the nearest wall, he doesn’t - for you. His hand rests on your thigh nearest to him, and gently rubs a line up and down it. “I care about you, and I want you to, also.”

“Maybe we can work on thinking better of ourselves together,” you say shyly, smile cracking your lips wide open.

He nods shyly and squeezes your thigh. Tamaki leans over and pecks the crown of your head, then quickly pulling away out of embarrassment. You grin and decide to do the same, save for planting a kiss to his jawline repeatedly, and he lets out a noise. Tamaki’s face reddens deeply and he covers it with his free hand bashfully before dropping into your lap and hiding his face into your thighs.

“Aaaah...”

Your fingers wander into his hair and you rub his scalp, receiving a jolt from him before he relaxed to your touch and you giggle.

Hawks:

Being the lover of the number two hero of Japan brought ita fair share of fun and love - and with it occasionally came grief. The public eye was constantly all over the both of you, some hoping to find some scandal while others just wanted to nose in on your daily lives together. Ah, and who could forget the entire, ridiculously long article written on what brand of shampoo you use. That itself didn’t piss you off; if anything, it was sad for them and funny and entertaining for you. What was aggravating was the fact that they were wrong!

Not aggravating, though, was the article written on your figure. It was insulting and almost inhumanely cruel. The comments were worse. But you were trying not to think about it on Keigo’s one day off since the last blue moon (seriously, did they not understand he was human, too?!). You wanted to be as cheery and bright for him as he always is for you, but there was no such thing as hiding something from him.

“What’s gotcha down, babes?” he chirps, sitting next to you on his couch with a drink in his left hand while his right was occupied with rubbing and resting on your thigh. “Did that last movie bum you out? Sorry, didn’t realise it was gonna be sad like that.”

“No, it was great!” You shake your head vehemently, ensuring he knows you weren’t unhappy with his cinematical choice. Lying to him was literally no option; those wonderful, beautiful feathers of his ensured that by letting him hear your heartbeat. “Always having the public fixated on my appearance and habits is frustrating, is all.”

Keigo downs likely half of the coffee he’d grabbed in one swig before nodding knowingly. It’s set atop the end table to be put aside. Then, he leans back on the sofa next to you, trying his best to accommodate his wings and you. “Yeah, I get that. It does take time getting used to,” he says, before making a face. He must’ve been reminiscing on times where something was said about him - or you - publicly that was hurtful or untrue. “You just have to learn to let it roll off your back. It’s probably not much help, but that’s what I did.” It’s not like he had much choice, but you don’t say that.

“You’re right, I guess.” You shrug. That just doesn’t make it any easier to think about, so you can’t help but pout sadly a little. You’ll just have to work with that mindset from now on.

“Hey, c’mon!” he beams with a toothy grin, leaning into your face until there’s a hand’s width between you. “I’m worth it, though! Right?”

You cross your arms and close your eyes with a cheeky smirk. “Hmm, no comment, Mister Reporter, sir!” you joke. Teasing him was always a treat when you felt down.

Keigo pouts immediately at your response, yet you know he appreciates the humour when he whines aloud. You crack open an eye at him, but both eyes are quick to jolt open when you see that impish grin that he only donned when-

“Guess I’ll just have’ta tickle it outta you, eh, chickadee?”

“Oh, no-!”

Before you could even finish that he tackles you into the couch, fingers working their way up your tummy and around your legs to torture your nerves. You laugh and cry at the same time, being so enveloped in it that you can’t find a way to fight back against him. You’re laughing so hard it’s almost hard to breathe when he uses his feathers to his advantage by increasing the area of his tickle-assault.

“W-worth it!” You giggle out, writhing underneath him.

“Me, or the joke?”

“B-bo- heheheh, both!”

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 64)

Loose Ends

Yep, I’m still alive! Just not spending any time at all writing 😅😬 Here’s another chapter anyway, I hope you enjoy! Also, happy holidays and here’s hoping for a better 2021!!

Tagging @emily-strange and @actuallyhansolo ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

We moved west, staying north, and found a place to camp far from where any Pinkertons were still patrolling. We travelled for hours, all through the remaining hours of the night, through the morning and into the afternoon. We ended up at Cotorra Springs when the sun began to set; it was cooler there and when we found a spot away from any trails, pretty secluded, we decided it was as good a place as any. The rushing sound of the geysers erupting every now and then kept making me jump at first but soon became a somewhat comforting sound. A reminder that no matter what happened, life always carried on, the world wasn't going to stop spinning and fall to pieces just yet.

We set up a small campsite with a few tents and a fire, over which we cooked meat from a deer that Charles had hunted while the rest of us set up. None of us knew how long we would be there but it was clear that we all needed some food and some rest before we even attempted to figure out our next move. We all sat around the fire with our food and little Jack was asleep with Cain by his side; the dog had tagged along with us on our journey, jumping atop the Marston's wagon whenever he got too tired.

"What exactly are we all gonna do?" John was the first one to bring up the elephant in the room, and everyone turned to eye him almost irritatedly.

Nobody spoke up or offered any sort of response, and after a moment, Lenny threw his hat in the ring.

"It's a good question. We can't live like this forever, can we?"

"Course not," Arthur said. He didn't quite snap the words but they weren't untroubled. "We've got a chest full of money on that wagon, we'll… we'll figure out what everyone wants to do and split it accordingly."

"I don't want a penny of that money," Sadie hissed, then spat into the fire, "reeks of Dutch and Micah and dirty betrayal."

"Hey, that implies it was all their money. Dutch barely put a penny in if it weren't from a job we all did together," John scoffed.

"I don't want it either but let's be rational. We're gonna need it," Charles said, looking at Sadie. "We didn't just go through all that only to starve to death at the end of it, all because of pride."

"He's got a point," I agreed. "I don't think any of us should have a problem taking that bastard's money," I added.

"Ain't his money," John shook his head, picking at something stuck in his teeth, "it's our half, fair 'n' square."

"Yeah," I nodded after a moment, but frowned a little. Silence lingered. 

"It's obvious none of us feel too good about takin' it," Abigail broke it, stating the unspoken.

"I feel fine," John snorted.

"Me too, for the most part," I hesitantly agreed. Arthur sighed beside me and everyone looked at him.

"For the love of God, not a single one of you refuse that money. This is hard enough, at this point, that money's the only thing that made this possible. Without money, we're trapped, and if we're trapped, we'll end up in the damn ground," he told us through tensely gritted teeth. More silence followed, broken by Susan.

"You're right, Mr. Morgan. This ain't no time for pride and making things needlessly hard on ourselves. We've just gotta take this opportunity to get the heck out of this mess, so I don't wanna hear no bellyaching from any of you," she said sternly, and John nodded in agreement. Lenny took a breath, and nodded too. 

"And what're you gonna do Miss Grimshaw?" I asked her softly. She met my eyes across the fire, her brows arching a little in surprise that I'd asked. 

"Me? I'm- I'm–" she began hesitantly, and glanced at the others before letting out a breath. 

"You ain't thought about it none?" Abigail asked, and Susan turned her gaze to her.

"Quite the opposite," she scoffed a laugh, then patted the side of her hair bun in an attempt at brushing back fly-aways. "Maybe I'm just a little bit ashamed to admit that I've been planning for this for a while."

My eyes widened, and so did most of the others'. 

"Oh come on. Please. A woman would have to be foolish to not consider a few back up plans in this way of life. Especially with how things have been the past few months. Even Miss O'Shea had her plans," she added, and my eyes dropped down at her mention. I always felt strange about the whole Molly situation, considering I was potentially the last person to really talk to her.

"You ain't wrong. So what's your plan?" Abigail asked. 

"I know a lot of people Miss Roberts, I have options," she chuckled. "But I think I envision a future in moonshine. An old friend of mine's been wanting to go into business together for a while now, I think I'll pay her a visit."

"Which old friend is this, anyone we know?" Arthur questioned.

"No. If you knew her, you'd know exactly who I'm talking about. She ain't a lady you easily forget," Susan chuckled, shaking her head. 

"Ain't nothing to do with those Braithwaites, then?" John snorted and Susan rolled her eyes.

"The Maggie I know would sooner hang than have anything to do with those idiots," she laughed. I smiled as I watched her laugh, feeling my admiration for her swell. Susan was a woman I would never be like, and I knew I'd miss her sorely despite all of the times I'd giggled when one of the girls would roll their eyes or pull a face at her behind her back. I knew everyone had a lot of love for her, and I did too. 

"What about you then, Lenny?" Arthur asked. "What's your plan?"

"Ohh, I'll be a rolling stone for a while I think, see where life takes me. I’d like to… learn,” he said almost hesitantly, a mild frown puckering the skin between his brows. His eyes lifted and settled on Charles for a brief moment, “maybe, if the stars align, I might just have a chance at making something of myself,” he laughed, but there was an ugly reality behind his words that bittered them slightly, though he kept smiling, and it was no accident that it was Charles that his eyes landed on. The smile that Charles returned to him was one of quiet understanding.

“My father, he wanted me to be a lawyer,” Lenny turned his grin to me, his eyes brightening a little. “From bank robber to lawyer, can you imagine that?”

I chuckled, despite the fact that with Lenny’s intelligence, charisma and articulateness, I didn't doubt his capability.

“Dutch always said I had too much potential to stay robbing banks for the rest of my life,” he breathed, looking down into the fire, the flames reflecting in his eyes, making them shine bright even though his energy dulled a little at his mention. Yet another silence fell across the campfire and I kept my eyes on the young man before me, so full of potential yet held back by so many factors far out of his control, and my heart hurt.

“I think that's the only thing I know of that came out of his mouth and made a lick of sense,” I noted. He looked at me, held my gaze for a few moments, then released a quiet breath.

“Maybe I’ll head to Washington D.C. Try to get a job, or go to school. I don't know about being a lawyer,” he breathed a laugh and shook his head, “but doing something… more than what I have been doing. That’d be good. I think my dad would be proud of that.”

“Your dad would be proud of you already, Lenny. I mean that. You’re a good kid, got a good heart,” Arthur told him, and everyone made a show of agreement, nodding, humming confirmations and patting him on the shoulder. 

“Thanks, all’a you, I… it's been quite a ride, ain’t it?” Lenny sighed. 

“That it has…” Charles trailed off. 

“And I think I’m gonna hit the hay,” Abigail announced, dropping her plate on the ground before rising to her feet. I watched as she very carefully bundled Jack up into her arms. “Goodnight, y’all.”

“Goodnight,” the rest of us whispered softly, as if suddenly we would all wake up the boy, even though he’d been sleeping just fine before. 

“I need some sleep too,” John agreed, and it set off a chain reaction, and Lenny and Susan retired to their sleeping spots. Charles drained the contents of his bottle of the beer that Sadie had managed to snag before we all left. 

“Arthur, tomorrow night we should…” he said quietly as he rose to his feet, trailing off. Arthur met his eyes and stared silently for a while, then nodded. 

“We will.”

“Alright. Thank you,” Charles nodded, then headed towards his tent.

“I weren’t planning on leaving him, not for a second,” Arthur called after him and Charles waved a hand dismissively, smiling over his shoulder at him.

“I know. Goodnight, folks,” he added, then crawled inside his tent to bed down for the night. I glanced at Arthur for some clarification and his eyes dropped to the ground.

“Eagle Flies got captured by the army. I said I’d break him out, I have to, princess–”

“Don't think I’m gonna try to stop you,” I whispered. He turned his head towards me, and I kissed his cheek. 

“Thank you. He got caught when I was helping Dutch screw the lot of ‘em over, pretending to be helpful. I gotta speak to him and his father, tell them about what happened with the gang today. Eagle Flies can’t keep on trusting him, getting sucked in by his fancy words just like I did at his age. It won’t do anyone any good in the end,” he explained, and I nodded in agreement.

"You need some help breaking him out?" Sadie questioned. Arthur met her eyes and shook his head. 

"Charles has a plan, shouldn't need more than the two of us."

"In that case, maybe there's something you can help me with instead," she said, leaning forwards, elbows on knees. My stomach squeezed a bit at the way her eyes lit with devilish determination. "O'Driscolls. There's a bunch of 'em hiding out over at Hanging Dog Ranch."

"Sadie–" Arthur began, his hand raising.

"With Colm gone and with just a few stragglers left, we can end those bastards for good," she cut him off, her hands clenching into fists. I took a breath and looked down at my feet, pressing my lips together.

"Sadie, I… I don't think we– we just got out of a bad situation, we're doing all we can just to get by–" he began again, and I could feel his tense but careful sympathy in his tone.

"We can finish 'em. We can. This is all I got left now, bringing some kinda justice to those sick bastards after what they did to me, what they did to my husband," she leaned forwards even more, her body tensing up, I could see her from the corner of my eye, getting full of desperation. I sensed Arthur glance at me.

My heart ached. We were finally away from Dutch and I had hoped that it would be the end of Arthur risking his life over grudges. I could handle him going with Charles to break a good man out of prison, I wasn't happy about the risk he was putting himself at but I knew he had to do it. But going to kill O'Driscolls? I was so conflicted. Sadie deserved closure over what happened to her husband, but I didn't want to lose Arthur over it. I couldn't stand it if we came this far only to–

"Please, Arthur. I need someone to ride with me. I can't go in there on my own but if I got no one–” Sadie's voice cracked and my eyes flashed up to her. "You're the only one I trust to do this with me and do it right. And I gotta do it, Arthur, I can't just let them get away with it. Please."

I stared at Sadie, feeling her pain emanating from her in waves, it made the hairs on my arms stand up and bile rise in my throat. My eyes tingled as tears threatened to form there, and Arthur looked at me again. Then Sadie did. Suddenly, I found, it was my choice, without even saying a word. 

I nervously toyed with the locket around my neck, and saw Arthur's eyes momentarily flitter down to it. 

"Arthur you–" I began after some time, when it was made clear that they were waiting on my blessing. Mine. Like I had any control over anything. "Sadie's done so much for us," I said monotonously, though it wasn't without feeling, "it's clear she needs this." 

"Thank you!" Sadie exhaled, and I rose to my feet. 

"I need to sleep," I whispered, then stepped over the log I'd been sitting on and headed for the tent I shared with Arthur. "Goodnight."

I climbed inside and laid down on my bedroll, wrapping myself up in the blanket and curling up on my side. I could hear quiet voices outside the tent, a muffled mix of soft tones from both Sadie and Arthur, none of which I could make out as words. It was only a few minutes before cool air filled the tent as the flap was pulled back, and Arthur climbed in beside me. He shuffled around, getting under his own blanket and scooting up behind me, his hand gingerly resting on my hip.

"Princess," he whispered. I made a small hum of acknowledgement. "Are you okay?"

I nodded my head, and Arthur exhaled, then kissed the shell of my ear. 

"Talk to me, please."

"I'm sorry Arthur. I'm trying not to put a leash on you, and trying to give Sadie the opportunity to get justice for her husband. All the while I'm worrying any one of these jobs people have you doing'll be the one that kills you. Right when we're finally doing what we've been waiting for," I whispered. Arthur's hand gently drifted up and down my side, his lips still at my ear giving me little pecks. 

"I could try to reassure you, but it won't help, will it?" He said softly, sadly. I shook my head. "What do you want me to do instead?" 

"Nothing. I don't want you to do anything, Arthur. I can't ask you not to do all these things. That's why I came in here to sleep, cause I know anything I say ain't gonna do any good."

"Are you angry with me?"

"No, I'm not," I breathed, then rolled over to face him. "I'm not mad, I'm worried. And I'll be worried until we're away from here for good. That's it. All I need from you is just to hold me right now, so I can enjoy the time I have with you," I told him, and kissed his chin. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head.

"Just a couple more jobs, princess, then it's over. I promise," he told me. 

"Please keep your word," I whispered, closing my eyes and nestling my face into his collar. 

"I will. I'm under nobody's thumb no more, I do what I want. These things, they're just… they're things I gotta do for my friends. I know you understand that, right?"

"I do. It's why I'm not stopping you."

"I'm real lucky I have you. And that you're like this. You're a good woman," he told me and I chuckled, shaking my head a little. 

"You don't have to flatter me, Arthur."

"I ain't flattering. I'm thanking you. Thank you," he said, pressed his lips momentarily to the crown of my head. "I love you."

"I love you too," I replied. 

After a few moments of silence, Arthur spoke again. "Can I ask you something? Or shall I let you sleep?"

"Now I'm curious about the question. Go on," I answered.

"Where'd you get that locket from? The one you been wearing since I got back. Looks familiar." 

The question surprised me. It wasn't anything like what I was expecting, and I laughed. Then stopped when I considered my answer. My heart was suddenly pounding because I knew I had to address how I had felt while he was away in Guarma.

"It was Susan's," I told him. "She gave it to me."

"That'll be why it's familiar," he mused. 

"It has a photograph of you inside it," I added. He was quiet for a moment.

"It does?" He questioned, tone going up a note.

I hummed my confirmation. "I… I was real bad for a while when you was gone. Susan wanted to cheer me up. I haven't taken it off since."

"Did it make you feel better?"

"A little. It was nice to have something of you, at least. But it didn't hurt any less, that you were gone."

"It would've been a comfort to have something of you with me while I was away. I thought about you constantly, I wanted to see your face just once… I didn't even have my journal, with my drawings of you. They don't live up to the real thing but they're something, at least," he whispered, squeezing me tight. 

"Let me see them," I whispered, kissing his collar bone. He made a small sound, a sort of hum, sort of sigh. 

"My drawings?"

I nodded as I moved back a little to look at him. "I've only seen a couple of your drawings of me. How many have you done?" 

"More than you've seen," he chuckled sheepishly, then rolled onto his back, staring up at the top of the tent. I shifted onto my elbow and gazed down at him. 

"May I see?" I questioned insistently, his grin widened. He was embarrassed, it was clear. "It's just me," I whispered, stroking my hand over his chest.

"Just you? That's the problem."

"Problem?"

"I'm worried I'll embarrass you." 

"Why would I be embarrassed?" I laughed. Arthur sighed and met my eyes. 

"Get my journal," he acquiesced. I giggled and sat up, reaching for his satchel that sat by his feet. I retrieved the journal and handed it to him, but he nodded towards me, urging me to keep it. "Take a look, princess." 

[silver-wield]

Hi! Can you do an analysis where after you do all the sidequests in chapter 3 and Tifa asks Cloud which outfit to wear? Thank you!

You're talking about the alone at last discovery, but you want all the dress options? I mean, the mature one is canon for her even if you don't do alone at last, so the other choices are optional within an optional scene – and the only reason it's optional is because you get the mature dress anyway.

Basically I'm just gonna do the mature dress lol

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be medium.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Recap time!

A pouting Cloud – who will always be my favourite Cloud cause adorable af – has been convinced by Tifa to help collect money for water filters to cover his pay for the reactor job. While they're making their rounds he gets stopped by Marle for a little heart to heart and a very important life lesson that he takes with him through the rest of the game.

Once that's over and he's changed the filter in his room, he pops next door to see Tifa.

AGH SHE'S SO CUTE! She's totally being cute on purpose too! Big eyes, hands behind her back, leaning forward, she's doing everything she can to put Cloud at ease because she's about to be nosy and we know Tifa doesn't push people.

The wide eyes, surprised “hmm?” and unguarded expression show he thought she had something else in mind besides this question lol

This isn't real!Cloud btw, it's just surprised Cloud lol

This is real!Cloud. After some back and forth between them, where Cloud seems to have a small deliberation with himself what he's ok to reveal while Tifa wears an earnest and hopeful look of expectation he'll share with her, Cloud turns away and gives some basic info that's emotionless and has very little attachment to his SOLDIER persona. A part of him seems to realise that and we see a flicker of grief cross his face. His mouth downturns and his brows pull together for a brief moment. He may well be getting a reminder of Zack's death, but it's so detached at this point he can't recall it or feel anything besides the slightest flicker. He grows confused and tries to muddle it through, but there's no conclusion. It's yet another odd feeling he has that comes with no reason why.

Tifa senses Cloud's upset and apologises for pushing him. She's very aware of his feelings and the distance between them from the long years apart.

We get a wide shot of them, showing the physical distance, which highlights their emotional distance. However, between them on the rug is the pattern of the reunion flower. This imagery has likely been placed there as a metaphor for them reuniting.

Cloud gives Tifa his profile as she talks about them maybe never meeting again and it being a strange coincidence they did. Since part of him assumed she was dead the entire time, it's likely a painful association to him and that's why he can't face her when she says it. With his head down and eyes obscured we can't really read his face very well, but from the glimpse we get, he looks hurt.

The distance between them closes when Tifa takes steps towards Cloud and he turns to her. She suggests they celebrate and Cloud looks surprised. Since he's probably wanted to ask her out since forever, the ease in which she does it makes him doubt she's sincere.

Tifa clearly becomes defensive here. The potential rejection from Cloud's “really?” has made her cross her arms over herself in a protective gesture. Her expression is hiding the hurt that Cloud might not want to go out with her. She tried to close the distance between them, but then took a small step back, indicating they're not quite comfortable with each other still. They're both wary and tip-toeing around each other, being careful. In Tifa's case, it's likely so Cloud won't up and leave all of a sudden. And for Cloud, we can guess it's because as much as he wants to be with Tifa, he feels like he always fails her and has no right to be around her.  

Cloud, you're a goddamn troll and I hate you lol

Caught the smile the third time I watched this bit back. I knew he was teasing her anyway, but his micro-expressions give me life and I need to find the exact moment they appear. He wants to see her dressed up. Just the idea of her dressing up for him is making him want to smile. Cloud joking around is adorable and I wanna see more of it. This is hints of real!Cloud teasing his crush because he thinks she’s cute.

Remember during their promise scene when Cloud would try and bait a reaction out of Tifa and she'd one up him and he'd end up being the one who got stuck in his feels? Yeah, this is that.

You'd think by now Cloud would've learned not to tease Tifa if he can't handle the come back. I mean, this is a clear, check me out, pose.

When Cloud says, “Something refined,” Tifa smiles and replies “we're not kids anymore” which is definitely suggestive of her. The look on her face hints that she's got plans already and she's pleased that it seems Cloud doesn't think of her as just his childhood friend anymore. Which is why she draws attention to them not being kids any longer. She wants Cloud to think of her as a woman.

And Cloud likes the idea of them matching. It's suggestive of a couple, which he'd like to be with her, so the fact she's asked him to match her is a huge hint that she still has a crush, although Tifa's so reserved her hints are very small and take a keen eye to spot. That Cloud smiles at the thought shows how much he's looking forward to going out with her, he does this tiny little shy glance away then back to her – we were robbed of a cute date up on the plate #cries#

More Cloud smiling. He's looking forward to it, even if he replies “maybe” to Tifa saying how much fun they'll have. He was asked out and agreed. That's how dates work. We were robbed #cries even more#

It's an introspective moment for him. He's likely wanted to ask her out for years and this is how easy it was the entire time lol

Conclusion

Get married, make babies, we're getting old here!

Cloud isn't pressured into going out with Tifa, the amount he smiles during this exchange shows he's excited to have a date with her – even if they're not calling it a date. Tifa got Cloud to open up a little and they closed some of the emotional and physical distance between them. It's a step on the path to them becoming a couple.

I say a lot that they have good eye contact and this is where they begin. Before this moment, Cloud looked at her, but didn't hold her gaze as much. After Marle telling him to try more, he's putting himself out there for her and making that emotional connection. Their eye contact in this scene isn't there at the start, because of the seriousness of the conversation at times, but Tifa's very sympathetic to Cloud's needs and does her best to cheer him up. It works because he teases her and by the end, they're on their way to that moment in the corkscrew tunnel when neither of them broke eye contact even after getting up.

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Upon thinking about it more, I do want to say that I was absolutely NOT disappointed with Buck Begins. It was really good! Oliver Stark and Jennifer Love Hewitt and the actors who played the younger versions of them were all amazing!

I also 100% read Buck as being bisexual in the episode. He was absolutely flirting with the guy at the bar! And a bi person is still bi even when they're with someone of a different gender, I would never claim otherwise! I'm bisexual myself, I get it. I was just hoping for it to be explicitly stated in canon is all. Or even if they didn't use the word (like most network shows don't), they they would show him having a fling with a guy or something! I just want Buck to be canonically bisexual so bad, and it felt like a huge missed opportunity.

I just... felt more emotionally from the prior episode. The "Love me anyway" line from 4x04 absolutely broke me. I wish I had felt more from Buck's emotional state in the factory fire. Like I said, I think the lack of reaction from the other characters when the explosion happened. I felt robbed of Bobby and Chimney and Eddie's reactions. If you look closely you can see the fear in their eyes, but... I was hoping for a little more.

(I was also not expecting any sort of a big reaction from Eddie like lots of fans were, because that's just not who he is. There was just almost nothing shown, which was disappointing.)

Thr firefam having his back was peak poetic cinema and I will forever be grateful for that moment.

And I *know* things were different because of Covid. I just... even trying to de-hype it in my mind going in, I ended up feeling a bit disappointed.

Maybe it's just because Chimney Begins was so amazing and I can't help but compare the Begins episodes? Even though I'm trying not to... god I wish I could love it the way so many other fans did!

Also, Nurse Omar is my new favorite side character. I loved how invested he got with Buck's life! And he seemed like the only person who Maddie could actually call a friend at the time. And how he desperately tried to get her to leave Doug, but he couldn't force her to, so he just supported her however he could. He was great and I was glad we got to see him.

I guess I'm just sick of the reminders of Doug. He existed, of course he would be mentioned in the flashbacks, but I didn't want to keep seeing the reminders of what he did to Maddie. Hopefully he can stay in the past now.

So over all, I did like the episode. It just felt a little lackluster compared to some of the others, but none of that is on the actors. They were all incredible. It's more on the writers and the editors.

Maybe it will be more impactful upon rewatch once the season is over. Maybe they'll come back to some of these plot threads and keep addressing Buck's emotional state.

I'm still holding out for a Buddie "we need to talk" cliffhanger at some point. Is there a patron saint or god for bisexuals? Because we need a serious prayer circle 🤡🤡🤡

-Quarantine Anon

Those two knocked it out of the park. I watched the episode over my lunch break and was screaming into my hands for so much of the time.

I did not mean to go off in an angry bisexual rant (the LoT fandom has left some marks on me) and I’m sorry about that. Maybe there was some stuff that gave more hints that got left on the cutting room floor? (Whoever is doing editing, we need to talk about those cut tiny scenes!) And it may be a network thing too. IDK.

“Love me anyway” was absolutely heartbreaking and it’s hard to top. Massively hard. There might have been some self projection going on with me watching the factory fire, I dunno. And if we weren’t in a pandemic, maybe we would have seen more reaction without the masks. Plus, yes- good point on Eddie.

That moment- showing what family is- that is gonna stick with the fandom for so long. I expect to see it in the next 118 firefam gifsets.

Chimney Begins was a goddamn masterpiece of hope and pain and I still remember how it tore me apart. Maybe Buck Begins will be better with age? Who knows?

Omar was awesome and I fell in love with him. I’m kinda sticking with an idea that he was so happy when Maddie didn’t come into work after she ran away because she’d finally ditched Doug.

Doug is a tough subject. He’s a part of history, but one people want to forget. It’s hard to watch that shit. 

Maybe we should fight the editors for the cuts?

YES A BUDDIE ‘WE NEED TO TALK’ MOMENT!!! Does Apollo or Dionysus count for the bisexual protection? Lady Gaga? IDK. But imagine that happening before hiatus and then something again that’s definitely A THING by the end of the season.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Egg Meeting 3/14/2021

Alastor visits Valera on Okkylk to “meet” an egg! An egg which hasn’t been laid yet, but like, it buzzes in magic static that Radio Demons can detect, so it’s still an interesting thing to meet if you’re an Alastor.

Alastor and Valera spend way too much time talking about the weird magical interdimensional tricks that Valera’s species can do because at one point Valera went “Alastor mentioned some of his occult experiences and I have decided I will be polite and NOT ask him about them” while Alastor went “Valera mentioned some of their occult experiences and they’re absolutely fascinating so I’m going to crack open my little grimoire and ASK A HUNDRED QUESTIONS and TAKE LOTS OF NOTES.”

He also somehow finagles himself into maybe being a fake-uncle, making the short list for a hypothetical godparent position, and definitely being the official Nightmare PTA Representative at any future school functions.

They also ended up following up on this conversation and it was awful and nobody enjoyed it.

(Starts as semi-OOC chatter and then segues into fully IC)

Alastor

SHOW HIM HIS FUTURE FAUX-NIBLING

Valera

He can meet Eelizzy the spectacular staticy egg

dazzler of, as of now, 100% of the people who've met this literal fetus in an egg in someone's goddamn stomach

Alastor

It’s definitely a lot louder than he generally expects eggs to be. Not, like, *audibly* loud. But still loud.

Valera

it is the sensation of like. those old tvs. the kind of fuzzy when you run your hands in the air right over the glass

Alastor

That’s a good stim

Valera

It's a GOOD STIM and now Val has just accepted that people are going to want to skim their hands over her stomach every time Egg goes brrrr

Alastor

He only does it for a couple of seconds before he’s like what the *fuck* am I doing that is somebody’s belly and stops himself and apologizes, how very rude of him

(But once the egg is laid all bets are off)

Valera

That egg is gonna get so much touching.

Alastor

Everyone with their hands over this egg like it’s the dead of winter and the egg is the only fireplace for miles

Valera

If eelizzy didn't want that she should have thought about it before she decided to be a stim

Egg buzzes rhythmically to music, and the lil beanie baby of A Child inside will kinda wiggle to the beat, which right now Val feels as a vague shifting of weight.

This thing has been exposed to music since it was conceived, it's too late for her

Alastor

Alastor will absolutely play some music for this egg to hear it buzz along

He’s like “You know my mother told me that when she was carrying me, a ghost would come to her and sing for me! She stopped hearing him when I was born. I don’t think I buzzed, though.” And then goes back to playing music like this is a totally normal fact to share out of the blue.

Valera

That's a very normal and not at all weird thing to tell someone. Yep. Fun little factoid to share with a friend.

Val just has to accept this as a new thing they know!!! "Well, hopefully I won't stop hearing you when Elizzy is born! I'm not too bad at charades, but it *would* complicate things."

Alastor

“Well, you could hear me just fine before then, so it’s probably fine!

Valera

Alastor sure had a WEIRD LIFE and Val is NOT SURE what to make of the snippets they heard. Humans aren't usually so Aware

Alastor

:) a special boy

Valera

On one hand, they almost want to *congratulate* him, on the other, did he get robbed of a normal childhood??? Should they offer condolences??? Help.

Alastor

:) :)

Valera

It worked out for him at least but at what cost....

Val doesn't actually know anything about his home life growing up! Like did he have a dad in the picture? Match and Leal didn't, but This guy has Surprised Her Before

Alastor

:) :) :)

Does Val ask or just Wonder?

Valera

They're still anxious about Alastor getting the wrong idea from them asking questions so they would Not ask.

They kept scwunching at the rehearsal because Leal was sitting with their main body patting them and singing in french to Soothe Their Dumb Ass

Alastor

So he just shares a weird-ass anecdote and then they marinate in the moment. Delightfully awkward

Valera

YEP

A little quip and then several seconds of dead air while Val goes on a face journey.

valera, wildly overthinking the second she doesn't have someone literally or figuratively holding her hand through a Social Interaction With Someone She Is Unsure Of Boundaries With

alastor: I was a haunted baby.

val: ..................... cool

Alastor

Alastor: and now I’m haunting YOUR baby! Haha isn’t that fun

Valera

Valera: A proud and noble tradition of baby haunting. Can't wait to see who she decides to haunt later in life.

Alastor

Alastor: ......... Do Veci have ghosts when they die?

He doesn’t know how Veci work, just that afterlives are something that happens to other people

Valera

Val: Nope, when we die for good our gods destroy our souls and recycle them. Unless you're an Autocrat, then you're turned into one of their little puppets used to enact their divine will and guide the next Autocrat. She'll have to find a mortal soul to haunt as a spirit.

Veci who die get put into the soul blender to get recycled for fresh soul meat

Alastor

Alastor: Pity. Environmentally friendly, I suppose.

Alastor: We just get thrown in the landfill and once a year a bunch of us get scooped into the trash compactor.

Valera

val: It's efficient! Kinda gross though, being made of the ground meat of souls. At least I get to look forward to a continued existence as some fucked up angel analog when someone makes me bite it someday. Wonder if I'll still recognize my kids?

Pat pat belly.

Alastor

Alastor: Can you ask your puppet predecessor?

Valera

val: I could try! He did have a daughter who's still alive, maybe if I made him manifest around her I'd get a reaction.

Alastor

Alastor: For her sake, I hope he does! Can’t imagine how awful it’d be if he didn’t! Although I don’t know how close you folks are to your ancestors. Even on Earth it varies.

Valera

val: Oh, very close! There are rooms in the Reppetto Compound still left exactly as the old owners left them when they died *hundreds* of years ago. There's never been a reason to clear them out, so we don't. I visit them occasionally, pay my respects. That's just the Veci though, I think the other species are much more practical.

Alastor

Alastor: ... And yet most of your ancestors get... “recycled.” They’re no longer around to visit the rooms left for them. That *is* a pity.

Alastor: Do Veci ever recognize shreds of their loved ones in their reincarnations?

Valera

val: Yes! It isn't unheard of for lovers to find each other again through old fragments, or a son to find that his child tugs at his soul to remind him of a dearly departed mother. Plenty of people recognize parts of me, some more strongly than others. Shreds tend to find their way back to their families. Sons, daughters, if you've experienced a loss you may find some glimmer of that person again in a generation or two.

Alastor

Alastor: Hm. Not quite gone forever, then. That’s good—the alternative is just too depressing, isn’t it!

Valera

val: Indeed! Full on reincarnation has even happened a few times, though the odds are, obviously, *incredibly* slim. We did have one guy though, who got reincarnated *three times in a row*. He's still alive, I've met him. Absolutely off the shits, never met someone less sane.

Alastor

Alastor: Hah! Is madness a prerequisite or side-effect to full blown reincarnation?

Valera

val: A side effect, I imagine! That would probably mean remembering getting your essence shredded and then falling back together. He likes to say he's "all there but the mind". What about you though? Was your culture close to your ancestors?

Alastor

Alastor: One side closer than the other. Some humans reincarnate, I’m given to understand, but where I’m from once you’re ejected from your body you tend not to get a replacement. Some stick around, most move on to one afterlife or another—and at that point you mainly reach them through long-distance calls, spiritually speaking. They’re still *there,* but... not on the same *level* that we are.

Alastor: It’s a trade off, I suppose—no reincarnation means no way to see them in the flesh again, but on the other hand they’re always *themselves*—they never become somebody different.

Valera

val: That.. Is very alien, to me. But I don't dislike the concept. Preserved in time, an individual forever, able to be reached but not touched. I guess, for us, since we live such a long time... We get a lot of time with people. By the time they leave us, they've usually said all they'd ever want to. If they pop up again it's just a nice surprise.

Alastor

Alastor: We seem to only get enough time to figure out what we're doing and pass on a fraction of our tricks to the next generation or two, and then we're gone and our descendants have to bumble around just like we did! Maybe we need ghosts more.

Valera

val: Sounds like you need more haunted babies to me, Alastor.

Alastor

Alastor: Why, are there any others around for me to haunt?

Alastor: anyway, I wouldn't make a very good ancestor, considering my distinct lack of descendants.

Valera

val: Just pick a baby and declare yourself part of their life! Step-Ancestor them before they can blink!

val: In all seriousness, Leal's already conceded the title of uncle to you despite you not even asking for it, I think you can figure something out.

Alastor

Alastor: I— Has he?

Alastor: Well—I was about to get all presumptuous and commandeer it myself, but—er. Good. Thank you. Him.

Valera

Val: He has indeed. As he puts it, you were here first, and you're Penny's best friend so *obviously* the role of honorary uncle should be yours. If sinners did godparents, I'm sure he'd ask you to be hers. Or I assume as much!

Alastor

Alastor: ... oh. Well. I'd hoped, actually...

Awkward shuffle.

Alastor: ... I mean, a child can have more than one uncle.

Valera

val: What had you hoped, Alastor? I won't laugh or anything, I just need you to be clear with me.

Alastor

Alastor: ... to be that.

Valera

val: What, to be an uncle? Or a godparent?

Alastor

Alastor: I'm not picky about the term. Someone close enough to matter. Uncle, probably, I suppose. I don't know what a damned sinner would do as a godparent—but I wouldn't turn it down.

Valera

A thoughtful look.

val: I'd love to have you be an important part of my child's life, Alastor. Though, from what I *understand* of modern human customs, a non-religious godparent usually just means that if the parents die, the godparent steps in to either raise the kid or find them a home that would raise them the way the parents would want. Largely symbolic, but important nonetheless.

Alastor

Alastor: It's hard to be non-religious within a religious afterlife. But—just for the record, if anything happened to you two and you *didn't* have a plan in place, I'd probably be charging in to do that myself anyway. I'm not about to leave that child in the hands of somebody who's going to be halfhearted about it.

Valera

Val: Well there you go! Already ready to do your job, and you haven't even been handed the paperwork or negotiated a salary.

Alastor

Alastor: IS there paperwork?

He's giving a Skeptical Look

Valera

Val: What, you think they'd hand over an orphan child to any guy who showed up claiming to be a family friend? They like seeing some documents saying "if I die this guy is who I want protecting my kids while they're vulnerable".

Alastor

Alastor: ... All right, fair enough! I was just going to kidnap her and flee into the night, but I suppose a paper or two would keep law enforcement off my back.

Valera

Val: I'm flattered that you'd get in trouble with the interdimensional magic fish police for Eelizzy's sake, but let's spare everyone the hassle. I'll talk to Penny, see if he wants to do the godparents thing at all, but I know what name I'd be floating.

Alastor

Alastor: Well—that's fine, then. Thank you. It's an honor to be considered either way.

He's all self-conscious now, look at this awkward man

Valera

Val: Of course! And at the VERY least I want you to be close to her when she hatches. Good old _Uncle Alastor_ to spoil her when Penny and I are busy.

Look what happens when you actually tell Valera what you want. Blurses. Blessings and curses.

Alastor

Look at him he's got heart eyes

Alastor: Fortunately, I'm an expert at spoiling other people's children! Don't you worry, I'll be loading her up with penny candy and letting her get in all the trouble she wants. Maybe even nickel candy if I'm feeling generous.

Valera

Val: How generous! And speaking of candy, that reminds me. I visited New Orleans recently on business and picked up a few treats while I was there. Do you want some roman candy? I know you don't have a sweet tooth, but it seems like something one should offer regardless.

Alastor

Alastor: ... They're still making that? Is it the real deal or did the family sell the franchise to some big candy company?

Valera

Val: I bought it from the same old wagon as always, so I believe it's authentic! Wax paper and all!

Alastor

Alastor: Well... sure, I'll have some. Doubt I have the right teeth for taffy anymore, but...

Valera

Val: You'll muddle through somehow, I'm sure. What flavor does it for you, chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry?

She will whip out a few familiar looking wax paper rolled tubes to offer him. Crinkly!

Alastor

Takes a strawberry one!!

Valera

Val: I'll be sure to let you be the first one to take her to buy this _particular_ candy, when she's old enough to actually enjoy taffy.

Alastor

Give him a second, he managed to bite off a bit and now he's doing the whole dog-with-peanut-butter routine

Valera

Oh no, that's funny. She is LOOKING and SNICKERING at this man. Who knew the secret to silencing the radio demon was _chewy food?_

Alastor

Alastor: ... You know I don't remember this stuff being so hazardous.

He was expecting a RUSH OF NOSTALGIA but then he was like oh right I didn't eat this stuff more than like twice when I was alive, I just saw at the cart.

Valera

The wax paper is more nostalgic than the candy, understandable.

Val: Not having good molars does that, I only ate the stuff the one time to experience it. I like the paper though, it's a very unique experience.

Alastor

HOLD ON LET HIM GET THE LAST OF IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH, he thinks he'll attempt to eat the rest later.

Alastor: We'll see when she's old enough to attempt to eat these things, but—I don't see much point in holding off on letting her try taffy just for ME to do the honors. Seems like a very little thing to make a whole trip for.

Valera

Val: Okkylk doesn't really have much in the way of taffy, I doubt it would come up.. and it would be funny to see her suddenly be faced with a chewy candy to struggle against. This is _guaranteed_ entrainment.

Alastor

Alastor: Hah! I like your parenting philosophy. All the same—no need to wait on me to go get the taffy. I'm sure you'll have more opportunities to pick some up than I will.

Valera

Val: Nothing wrong with a little light torment, she gets candy out of it! Builds character! But yes yes, I get the picture. We'll see how it shakes out, play it by ear.

Alastor

Alastor: As long as she's being duly compensated for providing entertainment! :)

Valera

Val: Of course! She's still my _daughter_, if anything actually upset her that would be a whole different story. Penny would be _inconsolable._

She would also be inconsolable but let's ignore the wibbly sad eyes Val gets at the very thought

Alastor

Alastor: I'm sure we'd be taking turns supporting him through the grief. One person alone wouldn't be able to support that weight.

He's got no doubt Valera would be duly distressed but somehow, somehow he feels like Sir Pentious would be more dramatic about it. Just a hunch.

Valera

There is a distinct possibility that one of the parents may be A HAIR more dramatic, and it MIGHT not be the one with a degree in musical theater. Possibly.

Val: It's true, he's pretty heavy. Like a weighted blanket of emotion.

Alastor

HUFF.

Alastor: I’m going to be thinking of that the next time he flops on top of me.

Valera

Val: Good, you can share my curse. Every Pentious is full of emotion, genius, and, honestly, horny.

Alastor

Opens mouth. Shuts it. Opens it. Shrugs and makes noncommittal radio noises.

Alastor: ... Frankly I don’t know what a normal quantity of horny is.

Valera

Val: I did research, but I don't know how sound it is. We're outsiders trying to look in to a very strange world.

Alastor

Vaguely nods, yeah, that’s true

Alastor: ... What’s the research say?

Valera

Val: Once a week seems like normal horny, in a relationship? A heightened few weeks or months of activity at the start before it levels out seems normal too.

Alastor

Alastor: Weekly?? For the same activity? That’s not as bad as I’d thought, but doesn’t that get boring?

Alastor: ... No, okay, I could schedule a weekly dinner date and never get tired of it, I’ve got no room to talk.

Valera

Val: I was going to say! I do all kinds of stuff on a weekly basis without it getting dull. Plus it does wonders for relieving tension, which I can appreciate from a medical standpoint.

Alastor

SKEPTICAL LOOK

Alastor: You find it RELAXING?

Valera

Val: Well sure! It's only nerve wracking if you aren't at ease, and after almost an entire _year,_ Penny and I have figured out what we like. Plus.. Neither of us sweat, there's no cleanup to worry about, and after the fact the brain gets flooded with feel good chemicals.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, right, the feel good chemicals, right.

Valera

Val: Not familiar with them, Alastor?

Alastor

Alastor: ......... We’re passingly acquainted

Alastor struggling to figure out how to answer without Discussing Specific Sex Acts

Valera

The STRUGGLE.

Val: Only passingly, interesting. Well, you get a lot more of them with a partner, suffice to say.

Alastor

He's just 8)

Alastor: I would prefer not to!

Valera

Val: You don't have to! I'm telling you why the allosexuals like it so much. Or why I assume they do.

Sex talk with two aces this can only go well!!

Alastor

It sounded like Valera was speaking from a little more than secondhand experience there for a bit but you know what? Alastor isn’t going to ask for clarification. It’s fine. Doesn’t need to know.

Alastor: ... To be quite frank, I prefer far less to be a co-star and more to be a fluffer. I’m sure that’s going to disappoint him sooner or later, but...

Valera

What? The visibly pregnant fish might have firsthand knowledge about sex? Perish the thought.

Alastor

You never know. Mary made it work.

Valera

Immaculate conception of her husband's child, sell that story to the news!

Val: I'm sure you two discussed that before getting together, no?

Alastor

Alastor: ... *As* we were getting together, yes.

Valera

Val: Well then! He knows what he signed up for, and unless he says it's a problem, it shouldn't be treated like one.

Dismissive little hand wave.

Alastor

Alastor: Yes, yes. I don’t intend to treat it like one. Just... making conversation about the whole ‘get more with a partner’ concept.

A similarly dismissive little gesture.

Valera

Val: Ah! Yes, I see, that was perhaps too blanket a statement. Well, he has his other partner, I assume?

Alastor

Alastor: I assume. He hasn’t talked about their sex life. None of my business, I’m sure.

Valera

Wiggly hand gesture.

Val: Yes and no. You ARE his partner.

Val: I tell Penny what Leal and I get up to.

Alastor

Alastor: But do you tell my alternate about how often you have sex with Sir Pentious?

Valera

Val: If he asks! Which he doesn't, really, but we did talk about the finer points of eating pussy.

Alastor

RAISED EYEBROW.

Alastor: ... I don’t think the man I’ve been dating for under a month owes me the details of a near stranger’s sex life. I’ve only met his other partner a couple of times, what business is it of mine what she gets up to?

Alastor: I wouldn’t mind knowing what HE gets up to, but sex is a group sport.

Valera

Val: It isn't like he owes you her life story in hardback, but a frank discussion isn't going to breach confidentiality.

Val: Dating someone who is dating someone else means you're entitled to know what you're consenting to, Alastor.

Alastor

Alastor: I’ve already consented to be with a man who’s probably sleeping with someone else, I can’t think of anything else they could be getting up to that would possibly affect me.

Alastor: Unless their bedroom activities happen to include calling up all my worst enemies and telling them everything they know about me—but if it did, I doubt he’d admit so if I asked about it, would he?

Valera

Her turn to raise an eyebrow.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I don’t think they ARE, I’m trying to think of the most out-there hypothetical possibility.

Valera

Val: Good, I was about to be worried. But really, if those are the boundaries you're comfortable with, that's fine. But I don't think you'd be out of line to ask for more information. Either you'll learn, or he'll tell you it isn't something he wants to discuss.

Alastor

Alastor: Honestly, it... doesn’t cross my mind.

Man has no object permanence when it comes to sex

Valera

Val: Dare I say it, mood. But really, if that's how you like it, good for you, keep on keeping on.

Alastor

Alastor: I intend to!

Unless Telly doesn’t like it, but they’ll cross that bridge when they reach it.

Valera

Val: Then there's no issue, I hope!

Alastor

Alastor: One hopes! ... How did we get on this?

Valera

Val: I... Think it started when I called Pentious horny? And then you got worried about not being an active enough participant?

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, yes, right! But worried, no. Just a passing thought.

Valera

Val: Well, based on my knowledge, as long as the partner gets off they don't often care about the methods.

Shrug! Don't ask where the knowledge came from.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! If it was that easy, I doubt so many people would be so distressed when the have to make do with their own hands!

Valera

Val: Did you know there's an entire subset of men that intentionally make their hands fall asleep so they can pretend someone else is getting them off?

Alastor

Alastor: You know, it just so happens I did. And I do not understand the appeal. It combines all the worst parts of getting your mouth numbed for a dental procedure with something half-dead and dangerously uncoordinated fumbling with your delicate bits.

Valera

WHEEZE... Oh that caught her off guard, give her a second to collect herself.

Alastor

He’ll wait. Smugly basking in his comedic genius.

Valera

Val: You said it yourself, sex is a group activity for a lot of people. Lonely people want someone else to make them feel good.

Alastor

Alastor: But if that’s all it takes, then why for so many people is a hand inferior to a mouth, and a mouth inferior to a more intimate part? No, I’m sure that there’s more to it than simply a desire for company when cleaning one’s pipes. The methods don’t trump the company, but they do matter.

Valera

Val: I could say more, but then I'd have to start talking about my own _alleged_ experiences.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Is the answer going to be something to the effect of “that particular bit of anatomy feels nicer against one’s equipment than other bits of anatomy?”

Valera

Val: Kind of. I'm sure some people prefer various bits, and they certainly feel _different._ I wouldn't say better though, just on physical contact alone.

Alastor

Alastor: ..."Kind of"?

You know what they say about cats and curiosity

Valera

Val: Yes, kind of. A hand can do things a mouth can't, and vice versa.

Alastor

Alastor: All right! That’s more or less where I thought you were going with that.

Valera

Val: Yes! Though there's a lot to be said for the varying degrees of intimacy.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m sure there is! No doubt there’s something special about the moment you finally get to show your loved one the parts of yourself you previously only shared with your toilet. ... So sorry, I don’t mean to be *dismissive* of the whole thing—I can just never quite get over that association, you know?

Valera

Val: Oh, no, I agree _completely._ Not that I'd tell that to Penny, of course. That would be cruel. But if my husband wants to mutually stimulate nerve endings a few times a week I'm happy to make him happy.

Alastor

SNORT. Mutually stimulate nerve endings.

Alastor: Well, what couples are equally interested in ALL their hobbies?

Valera

Val: None, unless it's two alternates of the same person, I guess!

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, you’d be surprised.

Valera

Val: Oh?? That sounds ominous. You know something I don't?

Alastor

Alastor: I know a lot of my own alternates, primarily!

Valera

Val: Yes, and I suppose even they have varying levels of interest in things?

Alastor

Alastor: Wildly varying! Why, sometimes you can meet yourself and wonder where you have anything in common at all! It’s fascinating, really.

Valera

Val: Goodness, that DOES sound fascinating. I can't imagine.. There's only one me, the idea of a me who isn't like me at all is just bizarre!

Alastor

Alastor: Only one? Or only one that you’ve found so far?

Valera

Val: By virtue of what I am, the only one! Unless something goes VERY Wrong.

Alastor

Alastor: Really! Do elaborate?

Valera

Val: I'm a singularity! There is one me, just in a lot of places!

Alastor

Slow blink.

Alastor: ... Like a god?

Valera

Val: Is... Is that a god thing?

Squint.

Alastor

Alastor: I don’t know many other things that can be in multiple places at once and yet remain an undivided entity with a singular source. Either a god or a radio signal—and signals can get distorted.

Valera

Val: ..... I'd rather be a radio signal than a god, honestly, but. Yeah, I guess? I didn't think it was so uncommon!

Alastor

Alastor: I’ve seen people so rare that even when they go looking, they can only find themselves in one universe—but that’s usually a trick of the universe itself, some little chain of cause-and-effect that only worked out once! Move a dimension to the left and their parents never met, move a dimension to the right and their grandmother died in infancy, and so on. But what *you’re* talking about—one person with a simultaneous singular presence in many realities? That sounds to me like something operating a step higher than your run-of-the-mill monodimensional mortals.

Valera

Val: I could turn on the TV right now and show you what the me in another reality is doing right now, I'm fully aware of myself. Are you saying you _don't_ have that?

_When you are suddenly hit over the head with the fact that you're actually an outlier and not the standard_

Alastor

Alastor: If I want to know what another me is doing, I have to call him up and ask! And sometimes I’ll find out he’s been hearing salacious details about my best friend’s oral skills. I can assure you I wasn’t fully aware of THAT, hah! I’ve heard of people with psychic sensitivities to their alternate selves—a sudden sense of disembodied alarm when something goes wrong elsewhere, emotions without a source, that sort of thing—but that particular sensitivity doesn’t come naturally to me. As far as psychic abilities go, I’d say that one in particular is notably rare.

Valera

Blink.

Val: Oh. Uh. Well. All of my species is like this. _All_ of us are singular individuals.

Alastor

Alastor: ARE you singular individuals? Or do you have alternates just like any other species, but because all of your alternates are... psychically linked, as it were, your thoughts are so inextricably intermingled that the whole lot of you consider yourself one person with one identity?

Valera

Val: At that point, what's the difference?

Alastor

Alastor: It’s the difference between a radio transmitter broadcasting the same song to a dozen different radio receivers, versus a dozen individual radio transceivers that play the same songs because they’re directly broadcasting to each other. Is it one singular thing that’s being witnessed in many places, or is it many separate things that have synchronized and homogenized with each other? In day-to-day life the difference might not matter; but philosophically, spiritually, magically, I think it all makes a great difference!

Valera

Val: Fair enough! But I still believe it's the former. The me you see now is the me that all the information goes back to. We've never cared enough to investigate it in depth.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Do you mean information *doesn’t* go back to the other versions of you?

He’s fascinated, he’s taking mental notes, he’s going all metaphysical occultist on this.

Valera

Val: Of course it does, if I don't intentionally restrict it, which is not something I'd be inclined to do. I'm simply aware of them the way you are aware of your arm.

Alastor

Alastor: So all versions of you get all the information from all versions of you.

Valera

Val: Yes! Unless I'm playing one of my games. Sometimes I'll make myself think I'm a normal mortal for a while. It's fun!

Alastor

Alastor: ......... Let’s unpack that a little.

Valera

Val: Sure! Where do we start?

Alastor

Alastor: Your “games”?

Valera

Val: Yes! A lot of Veci do it as they get older. They'll go to a universe and have one of themselves live a very normal mortal life, unaware of what they actually are.

Val: It's a fascinating perspective.

Alastor

Alastor: So, you cut off one version of yourself from the hive mind. And this version, I take it, then forgets for the duration of the game that they were once a part of a hive mind? Their memories only consist of what they experienced in their own home universe, and anything that they thought or did due to the influence of their other selves, they... what, make up a new false memory to explain away, something like that? And they aren’t receiving information, but they’re still sending out information for the rest of you to receive?

Valera

Val: Yes! Exactly so. A one way broadcast back to home base.

Alastor

Alastor: Huh! What about the people around the game piece who know they ought to be connected to other dimensions—or do you disguise yourself and drop yourself on some alien planet before you start the game?

Valera

Val: The latter! It's no fun if other people know things you don't, they could ruin the game for you. Unless you're going somewhere dangerous, then a lot of people will ask someone to send in an aware variant of themselves to help keep them in the game longer. Istoph does that for me in some places!

Alastor

Alastor: Does your game piece go in cold, wandering around like an amnesiac? Or are they given some sort of... of false set of memories, to blend in with the locals?

Valera

Val: Depends which is more interesting. Usually the latter, unless I can think of a reason that an amnesia story would work better.

Alastor

Alastor: And when does the game end? Death? Discovery? Is there a way for your game piece to "win" or is the game only supposed to be watched?

Valera

Val: It's usually for a set amount of time! A year or two, a decade at most. I don't let them Reproduce or anything, I don't want to go sowing any wild oats. That's how you get overly sensitive humans half the damn time.

A shake of her head.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Yes, that *would* do it.

Valera

Val: ... I don't.. I don't mean to imply _you_ were a result of that or anything. There is more than one way that could happen.

Alastor

Although he doesn't much like the thought that someone somewhere could use that information to dismiss particularly psychic humans as partially inhuman.

Alastor: I should hope I wasn't! I come from a long line of magically gifted people—we don't need the outside help!

Valera

Val: Hah! I know, I could practically smell it on you. If I turned you loose on Okkylk you'd get swarmed.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Swarmed like a dog in heat, or swarmed like a bleeder amidst sharks?

Valera

Val: .... Considering how violent Veci are in the act, uh. Both.

Alastor

A slow, slow nod.

Alastor: ... To steal my traits.

Valera

FACE JOURNEY

Val: I take it he told you about that one, eh? Not his finest moment

Alastor

Alastor: It will be my most carefully-guarded secret. ... But you knew about it already, so.

Valera

Val: To be fair, it's hilarious. I was minding my own business and then the guy I just started dating calls me to accuse me of stealing his traits like some kind of succubus.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I think succubi reproduce with humans because it’s easier, rather than because they want human traits. But don’t quote me on that, I don’t talk to many succubi.

Valera

Val: Neither do I, honestly. Plus, come on. Really? I could have just seduced him, I'm the one that insisted on a relationship.

Alastor

Alastor: Well, how many traits did you *want?* It could take a while!

Valera

Val: Oh yes, of course. If I'm going to get traits I may as well get a full set out of him! However many that is!

Alastor

Alastor: Only one way to find out!

Valera

Val: You're just saying that so you can flex on your alts with all the kids who'd call you uncle.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m willing to share unclehood with as many of my alternates who care to claim it!

Hand over heart, how magnanimous.

Alastor: ... So, are you only pregnant in this universe or all of them?

Valera

Val: Only this one. This is the only body that's gotten plowed by anyone and that's how I'm keeping it.

Snrk.

Alastor

Alastor: Then which universe any given Veci has... copies, facets, whatever—of themself in will vary wildly, depending on whether or not their parents happened to have synchronized date nights across those universes? I suppose it would be *easier* to synchronize up, if every version of you is connected—just like a whole line of dancers doing the can-can together—but what if one body sneezes and an egg doesn’t get filled, does that Veci just have one less version of themself than everyone else? Will Eelizzy have no other selves across the universe?

Valera

val: ..Do you think I'm going to sneeze too hard and shoot this egg across the-- Nevermind. Veci children aren't stable enough to exist in multiple realities, they have to grow up and get more control of their magic before they can manifest across realms.

Alastor

Eyebrows shoot up.

Alastor: No, I was talking about the conception, splash one or two drops the other way and... never mind, that’s the boring part! You’re telling me you start off as one singular entity in a singular universe—and *then* you split off into separate versions of yourself... deliberately?

Valera

Val: Well of course! There's only one Pelagios right now, he won't split off until he's fifteen for his first practice run, and then in earnest in his twenties. Rite of passage and all that!

Alastor

AMAZED BLINK. And then he’s opening a portal and hauling out his grimoire, ‘scuse him, don’t mind him.

Valera

She watches, slow blinking. What, did THAT catch his attention?

Alastor

Alastor: I should have been taking notes all along—I apologize, I do believe you were right, you *are* a lone tower transmitting to many receivers—or at the very least you do start off as one tower! How do you split, does it follow the natural branching of timelines—when two paths of history split over somebody’s decision, you just keep conscious contact with the two versions of you formed at that fork? Or do you create your duplicate self and then assign it to some pre-chosen timeline?

Scribble scribble SCRIBBLE scribble.

Valera

Val: The latter at first, I see a reality that interests me and drop in, and then as it progresses, it becomes the former. As the timeline I chose to investigate develops and changes, I follow the branching paths and observe the varying realities. It is *fascinating* stuff. Though sometimes a branch seems doomed, in which case I'll usually withdraw and send that variant elsewhere instead. Start the whole process over.

Alastor

Alastor: So you can pick and choose which path you follow—but you don’t AUTOMATICALLY form another version of yourself, only when you want to? That means that more versions of you AREN’T forming every single time a timeline you’re in branches, correct? But a single timeline can branch countless times, a hundred times an hour—I’m pulling that number out of my you-know, just as an example—if a timeline branches a hundred times an hour, then that means that in ninety-nine percent of all those timelines, a Veci living in it will suddenly... vanish into thin air? Is that right?

Valera

Val: Close enough, which is *generally* why we try to live very lowkey lives. Making new branches of yourself isn't.. *energy consuming* or anything, but you have to be able to process that amount of information. We don't vanish into thin air, but we'll often arrange a swift withdrawal. A sudden move, a staged home invasion, or, in a pinch, just erase ourselves from people's memories. Though that one is imprecise and often leaves lingering traces. Not ideal.

Alastor

Alastor: I imagine it explains an encounter with the fae or two.

Valera

Val: Probably? That's my theory.

Alastor

Alastor: And how often DO timelines branch around you, would you estimate? Are you abandoning thousands of iterations of the same place a day or... Well, I sort of *imagine* that time branches at ridiculously high rates, but I don’t actually know.

Valera

val: Not as often as you think honestly. Obviously it happens, but most people aren't wildly changing reality with every move. The butterfly effect is not as impactful as people believe it is.

Alastor

Alastor gratefully waves away the nightmarish thought of a million sad snakes wondering where his wife went.

Valera

Thoughtful hum....

Val: *You* probably caused a split, back in the day. There's a reality out there where you're dating the Pentious of your Hell. That was a fairly significant moment with pretty obvious impact on the rest of the population.

Alastor

Alastor: I’d always wondered about that! The whole ‘butterfly’ effect thing—particularly considering how often universes seem to CONVERGE on each other. Those of us who have more conventional alternates—it’s *amazing* how often I can talk to myself and think “why, you and I are so similar—our realities must have split no more than ten minutes ago!” and then I find out my other self has completely different parents and a big sister to boot. If two universes that started out in utterly different places can drift back together—

Oh. He stops talking with a noise like a motor dying.

Valera

Slow nod.

Val: It's not like every breakup causes a split in realities. But a drastic choice that results in explosions? Yeah.

Alastor

From 100 to 0 with one sentence.

Valera

Shoulder pat.

Val: It's weird to think about.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I hope he’s doing better.

Valera

Val: ... You're doing better too, Alastor. Better than you were.

Alastor

Alastor: I didn’t mean my alternate.

Valera

Squint.

Val: Your Pentious.

Alastor

Alastor: The one over there isn’t “my” Pentious. ... Sir Pentious. He’s just an alternate of my Sir Pentious, just like the one I’m seeing is an alternate of my Sir Pentious, and the one you’re married to is an alternate of my Sir Pentious. He just branched off a little more recently, that’s all.

Alastor: “My” Sir Pentious will always be the one that I backstabbed.

Valera

Val: He's fine. And *yours* will be okay too. We both know Sir Pentious is stubborn and unstoppable.

Alastor

Alastor: Stubborn, yes. ... We’re going to fix all that, though. So that this never happened.

Alastor: The original plan was to... to wrench the course of this timeline off its current path and onto the path it *would* have had if that decision had been different. But if you think the timeline *already* split there—then it’s not so much a matter of relocating this timeline as it is—just erasing it entirely, so that the other one is the only one left. Right?

Valera

She grimaces. That's a *lot* of people she'd be killing. Erasing from existence. Whatever.

Alastor

She agreed to it once before.

Valera

Val: Yeah, essentially. Not pleasant to think about, but... Yeah. And it's theoretically possible, but. Again. Fifty fifty shot.

Val: I'm... Surprised you'd still want to do it, though. You've got a boyfriend now. What about him?

Alastor

He squeezes his eyes shut and looks pained a second. That’s the same thought that he had. And that he HAS had about a thousand times.

Alastor: This was never about what I want, it was about him. Putting him back on track. Where he deserves to be.

Valera

Val: .... Not to... Okay, you know what, *yes* to be that person. But you want to help one Pentious by hurting another? If you wanted to spare the man you backstabbed, you shouldn't have started dating Telly. You *know* losing you is going to hurt him, *if* it works.

Alastor

Another pained wince.

Alastor: No, you’re right, I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to, but I did, and I shouldn’t have. And I knew I shouldn’t have, and... well. Here we are. But I can’t just—just change my mind, not when I have my first chance to make this right!

Valera

Val: I know. I understand. I—I wish I didn't but I *do* and I hate it. And I'm still going to try and help you. If you're sure you want to try. Even though this is. *Awful.* And only going to hurt people. Penny. Telly. Gods only know what will happen if we succeed. If we don't.. You'll hurt him anyway. You know this isn't something you should keep secret from him.

Alastor

And we’ve got a triple pained wince combo!

Alastor: How can I *not?* How can I just—just... happily go about my days, having picnics with one version of him and cuddling up to sleep with another, merrily getting ready for my big Broadway debut, dreaming about infernal conquest like I haven’t been able to dream in half a century—when he’s Hell’s laughingstock because of me?! Everything’s finally coming together for me, but the man I loved first and longest is a joke! How can I live out his dreams with an echo of him? What the Hell gives me the right to let a world like that exist?

Valera

Val: I know we've discussed this before, but. Tell me. Why haven't you tried to make amends? You'll never be friends again, obviously, but surely you could take out some overlords, or anonymously provide supplies... Do some networking, find allies to thrust his way without your name ever crossing his mind?

Frown...

Alastor

Alastor: ... I’ve done a bit. Taken out some of his rivals, that sort of thing.

Valera

Val: That's good! If your major grievance is that you've ruined his life, isn't it right to fix the damage you've caused, even if it's hard?

Alastor

Alastor: And then I heard him whining about how somebody else took down his foes before he had a chance to.

Wan smile.

Valera

.... Somehow, she doesn't look surprised. She just rolls her eyes.

Val: Okay, yeah that sounds like Every Pentious I Know.

Alastor

Smiles a little wider for a second

Alastor: Doesn’t it?

Valera

Val: I love my Penny, truly, but he's a _brat_ and so are his alts. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't, Alastor. Literally.  You might as well be damned handing the man an overlord on a platter. Even if he complains, at least he's getting a chance to rebuild.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I—*hm*—but—It isn’t *right.* It shouldn’t be just, just... He’s had half a century wasted. All that should be gone. Not just made up for after the fact, but—GONE. Shouldn’t it? Throwing him favors after the fact is, it’s... it’s...

Gestures vaguely and throws out meaningless sound effects. You know!!!

Valera

A sympathetic nod.

Val: I know. Erasing it seems like the kindest option, but is it? Would that be what _he'd_ want? To simply undo everything? Or would he want to claw his way back to the top and spit in the face of every overlord who tried to keep him down? You know him better than I do, so this is not rhetorical. It's a genuine question.

Alastor

He’s gotta stop and stare into space while he thinks about that.

Alastor: ... If somebody asked the Sir Pentious of today if he’d want the last century of troubles retroactively wiped away... I don’t know. I don’t know if he’d rather *have* the throne or *earn* the throne. He’s never had any shame about using an unfair advantage, the only reason he was able to conquer half the States was because he was filthy rich for no good reason and he’ll tell you so himself, but... he wouldn’t want somebody else to do his conquering *for* him, but I don’t know if that’s what he’d consider somebody changing history for him. But if I asked the Sir Pentious of ‘66 which route he’d like to go on, the one where he’s got a loyal ally and can get on with the business of conquest or the one where he’s betrayed and has to start at square one just for a fun extra challenge, he’d ask me if I’m crazy and say he’d rather have the first route. No question.

Alastor: ... But he already HAS that route, if you’re right. If it split then. If it *did* split then, then I’m not... I’m not giving the one I know a little mind wipe and transplanting him sideways into a better reality. That reality is already there and populated. I’m just... destroying him. Right?

Valera

Val: Correct. Is that mercy? Is that making amends?

Val: Wouldn't it be better to improve his life, rather than erase him entirely?

She almost reaches for Alastor's hand, but thinks better of it. Fiddle with her necklace it is.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Is there a way to see? If that universe already exists? If it doesn’t then we can proceed as planned.

Valera

Val: Oh, yes of course there is. I could try to find it, put myself in it the way I do any other universe. Would you like me to?

Alastor

Alastor: It could settle things.

Valera

Val: True. Do I have permission to peek under the hood of your reality?

Alastor

Alastor: ... What, right now?? You can just do it on the spot?

Valera

Val: I could, but I'm not going to. I'm _heavily_ pregnant and my baby is liable to start spitting static that could mess with my spells. I'll have to wait until she's tuckered out, play something energetic until the little thing wiggles herself senseless.

She pats her belly affectionately, but with a roll of the eyes.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! Right. Of course.

... Plays something energetic.

Valera

The egg, predictably, seems very excited about this sudden turn of events and starts throwing hissing nonsense static fuzz into the air with a sensation not unlike static electricity.

Valera raises an eyebrow at Alastor.

Alastor

:)

Valera

Val: Spoiling her already, are we? She's getting big enough to actually feel her moving, you know.

Alastor

Alastor: It was your idea. :) But really? Through the egg and all?

Valera

Val: Yes! Soft shelled eggs are a lot easier to feel through than hard shells, and she is _wiggling_. It's not obvious like a human baby kicking, but there's definitely weight shifting.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, right—they WERE soft, weren’t they! I was trying to be polite and not look too closely.

Valera

Val: Understandable! Amusingly similar to snake eggs, really. Which means by the time May rolls around I'm going to be strangling any radio demon brave enough to try and get this baby active.

She's grinning, but not in a way that says she's joking.

Alastor

Alastor: You were the one who suggested getting her to wiggle herself senseless, I’m only following your sage advice.

Valera

Val: You're evil. How _dare_ you listen to me. If my daughter wants to learn the trumpet when she's older it's your fault. She's being seduced by _Jazz music_.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m setting her up for a life of vice and villainy, EXACTLY as I’m sure her father would want.

Valera

Val: He'll want her learning the pipe organ and how to cackle maniacally. That classic Romantic ideal of brooding and fits of murderous passion. You'll have her _flashing ankles_ on the dance floor!!

A mock gasp!! Perish the thought!

Alastor

Alastor: All the better to shock and scandalize her enemies, right before eliminating them! If they’re staring at her ankles, they’ll never see her gun.

Valera

Val: Bold, I like it. But you'll have to explain that one to Penny, I can already tell he's going to be one of those dads who fawn over their daughter. Leal too, even if he insists he's not attached.

A VERY dramatic roll of the eyes.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! Then I can do one better—I’ll get *her* to explain it to Sir Pentious.

Valera

Val: Oh that can _only_ go well. I'm holding you to that one, Alastor.

Alastor

A wink.

Alastor: My alternate can fawn over her—I think instead I’ll conspire with her. I just hope she’s a rascal.

Valera

Val: Well I don't know about _Penny_, but I was a rascal without equal in my youth! I knocked over half the shelves in a library and pinned it on another kid. I'm sure she'll give me as many headaches as I gave my caretakers.

Alastor

Alastor: Never you fear, I'll do my best to make sure she lives up to the precedent you've set!

Valera

Val: I appreciate that, Alastor! I'm sure I'll be much too busy doing boring parent stuff. Not sure what, but it'll catch me. Maybe I'll go to a PTA meeting.

Alastor

Alastor: A... what meeting?

The man hasn't been around children in almost nine decades, he'd forgotten such esoteric acronyms. It sounds like a military thing.

Valera

Val: A PTA meeting! A parent teacher... SOMETHING meeting. I don't know what the A is for.

Alastor

Snaps fingers! Now it’s familiar.

Alastor: Assassination.

Alastor: ... Wait.

Valera

Val: I don't think I'm supposed to assassinate the teachers. Although, if they're doing a bad job...

Kombucha girl face journey.

Val: No. No. It's probably association or something stupid like that.

Alastor

SNAPS FINGERS AGAIN.

Alastor: THAT was it! Association! Pity, “Parent Teacher Assassination” sounded far more fun.

Valera

Val: It DOES sound more fun. Now I'm disappointed.

Alastor

Alastor: Sounds like a fantastic parent-child bonding activity, too!

Valera

Val: Take the teacher with the lowest reviews and hunt them for sport? Sounds like something you'd enjoy.

Alastor

He’s got to pause and think about that for a moment.

Alastor: Who’s reviewing them?

Valera

Val: Not sure. The students, I imagine?

Alastor

Alastor: All right, seems fair! I’m for it!

Valera

Val: Good! You'll be handling the PTA meetings then, that's _one_ less thing for me to worry about.

Snrk snrk. She's kidding. Probably.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, CAN I? I’ve always wanted to be a problem at school events! An *adult* problem, I mean. I imagine it’s a somewhat different experience from being a student problem.

Valera

Val: What, you want to get saddled with my kid for an evening to go to a school and scare the hell out of the staff?

Alastor

Alastor: Scare them, annoy the hell out of them, say wildly inaccurate things that they’re forced to agree with because they know I’m there on behalf of the autocrat... any of the above, really!

Valera

Val: Well damn! Alright, I'll make sure you go to at least a couple of them. If I send you and one of your alts we can _really_ get a show.

Alastor

Oh look at him he’s ecstatic. This just opened up a whole new world of pranks.

Valera

Val: I've never seen someone so excited about going to a PTA meeting. But hey, who am I to deny you fresh victims? Congratulations on your upcoming career in school harassment.

Alastor

Alastor: Thank you, I eagerly anticipate it!

Valera

Egg probably wore herself out while they were discussing the finer points of PTA sabotage

Alastor

yeah there IS a secondary timeline where Sir Pent and Al are Hell's most feared power couple. Airships are everywhere. Lucifer is going "oh shit the prisoners are unionizing." Alastor and Sir Pent wear matching outfits. They have a kid, where did they get a kid, did they adopt a baby imp or something??? what the fuck

Valera

Oh my god

Val takes one look at that timeline, looks at that Alastor, looks at this one. Looks back. "Well you're a dad in this one." And does not provide context

Alastor

Alastor just. Sits on the floor.

Valera

Well she can't exactly pat his head so they just have to sit there. Timeline confirmed welcome to die

Alastor

"What's their name?"

Valera

"What, the kid? I didn't think to ask. Does it matter?"

Alastor

"Just wondered." He's gotta lay down.

Valera

Guess she's gotta go try to learn the kids name now if Alastor is gonna be a sad floppy man. Feels bad.

Alastor

He was gonna be a sad floppy man regardless.

Valera

It is in the nature of Alastors to be sad and floppy men

Valera

But only under SPECIFIC circumstances

Alastor

Selectively sad and floppy

Valera

"...... Alternate timeline you's kid is named Codie Grace." Alright that is enough telling Alastor things about the future he doesn't have

Alastor

In one universe The Alastor That Didn't Fuck Up is probably giving Valera this c: look like do you get it. do you. do you get it. And in this universe The Fuckup Alastor is squinting at the ceiling and then suddenly goes "WE NAMED OUR KID *COUP DE GRÂCE*?!"

Valera

VAL GETS IT AND SHE ISN'T SURE IF SHE LOVES IT OR HATES IT

But it is VERY like them, the bastards

Alastor

Alastor just covers his face and laughs. It is the laugh of a broken man. Yeah. Yeah that's what he would name a kid, dammit. It's true.

Valera

Poor Fuckup Alastor

Alastor

"... Are they successful, over there? Are they happy?"

Valera

"They wear matching outfits and have airships all over the place so yes and yes."

She's gonna need a broom to pet this man with. There there.

Alastor

Alastor

It's just a high pitched static whine noise. *Matching outfits...*

That's BASICALLY the exact same thing as marriage. You're married when you wear the same outfits.

Valera

What is marriage if not an elaborate excuse to wear matching outfits? Just keep doing it, forever.

Pat. Pat. "And now you know. There's a reality out there where you and your local Pentious are basically married with a kid and have airships over like, half of Hell."

Alastor

He's gonna. Lay there for a second. And process that.

And then sit up and cradle his head in his hands and process that some more.

Valera

Would he like.... Well. Not tea but she can get him some water. Maybe a coffee.

Alastor

Coffee would be nice

Valera

She can do coffee. Does he want any cream or sugar?

Alastor

Black as his soul. Like an edgy hottopic goth kid.

Valera

She'll get him some pourover, let him have a good coffee while his brain wheezes and stalls.

Alastor

He eventually gets himself up in a chair with his coffee. Look at that, he's almost human again. "So there's already a place where it all worked out."

Valera

"That seems to be the case, yes." The power of coffee, clearly. If only sitting upright really fixed your problems.

Alastor

A nod, and then he’s silent again a moment as he processes this. “So there’s—I wouldn’t be helping him. I can’t help him like this.”

Valera

"You cannot. You can't just wave away what you did to him. Not without ruining another Pentious' life."

Alastor

“It’s not just ‘waving away’! Don’t forget that doing this would erase me, too! It’s not *running* from the consequences of my actions, it’s *paying* for them!” He’s gotta hop up and pace. “‘Waving away’ what I did is what I’m doing right NOW—getting to—to move on and be happy like it never happened! How is that fair?!”

Valera

"How is it fair? Good question, let me counter with another." She sips the tea she got for herself, watching him pace. "Have you forgiven yourself?"

Alastor

He pauses for half a second, and then continues pacing. “Now, why would I go and do a damn fool thing like that?” He laughs wryly. “I don’t see how it matters.”

Valera

"Because you're in Hell, and why would Hell ever _really_ let you win?"

Alastor

“*Hell* wouldn’t—and that’s why I’m outsourcing the job. I don’t see what that has to do with forgiveness and fairness.”

Valera

"Didn't you think Hell has some measure of control over you, or am I misremembering?"

A stretch, and a hand lays over her belly. Rub rub. "Now. I am loathe to admit I could still try to break your timeline like a bone and forcefully reset it into a shape similar to the one I saw, but. I could. Though THAT is something I've never tried at all, I've got no idea if it would work."

Alastor “‘It’s not my fault, the devil made me do it’?” Alastor shook his head. “It’s my fault. Hell is pulling some strings, sure—it can, say, nudge things around to prey on your worst character flaws—but it doesn’t give you those character flaws.”

He stops pacing again. “What would that involve?”

Valera

She opens her mouth, closes it. Clicks her tongue. "That's what I'm figuring out. It *can* be done. I've never done it. But I said I would help you, so I have to offer it as a possibility. It would probably take something fairly drastic. There was a window between you making your decision and actually betraying Pentious, right?"

Alastor

A slow nod. “Ten or fifteen minutes.”

Valera

"There are... A few options. I don't know how *viable* they actually are, right now. I'll have to do research. But I *think* I could try to remove you *entirely* from the timeline at that point. Most likely through a faked assassination or kidnapping. That would break the timeline off the track that was set, an outlier that was not within reasonable bounds. Then give the timeline a few hours, maybe days as it tries to course correct and *cannot*, and then I... Drop *you* back in. Let you run back to Sir Pentious, alive, if not unharmed. At the very least, I'm sure he'd be too busy being glad you were alive to be angry that whatever scheme he was currently enacting got thrown off."

Alastor

He stops breathing for a moment as he thinks about Sir Pentious having to deal with Alastor so suddenly disappearing.

And he tries not to too deeply analyze his disappointment when Valera says they’d put him back. He starts pacing again. “And that would be—like we discussed before? This version of the timeline disappears completely?”

Valera

"It would be impossible for the timeline to continue as it was, so. Yes. You cannot betray Pentious if you aren't there. Everything would get thrown off the rails entirely. Timelines account for a reasonable margin of circumstances with everything people do. Most people rarely do things outside of their norm, so even small changes rarely mean anything and that's why they don't branch as much as people think."

She taps her stomach, lips pursing. "Again. Remember, I can't guarantee it would work. But it does seem the most *likely* to work out of all the options. The first obstacle would be me taking down the Radio Demon. I don't know if you're aware, Alastor, but I don't actually relish the thought of fighting you to what you'd believe to be your death."

Alastor

He laughs humorlessly. “You won’t need to fight. I can tell you exactly what to say to make me come willingly.”

Valera

Blink. Wait, what? She looks back up at him, eyebrows raising. "What, really?"

Alastor

“You think I don’t know myself well enough to know exactly what would make me shut up and listen? Don’t you have secret things that would immediately catch your attention if a stranger said them to you?” A shrug. “Anyway, I wasn’t exactly hard to persuade at that point! I’d just decided to escape a relationship by destroying everything he owned and running—if a stranger magically appeared in front of me and said ‘come with me, we need to fake your assassination,’ I’d consider it a miracle.”

Valera

Valera raises a finger. "Alastor, I am a stubborn, paranoid bitch of a politician. My own parents could miraculously spring back into existence and promise me anything I wanted and I would probably try to bite them. I can't be blackmailed because any time someone tries, I get my PR team to leak it themselves to control the narrative. I am TRULY the most contrary piece of work to get dragged into existence."

A pause.. Then she grins. "Lucky for us, you're not me. If you think that would work? *Good*. That's one of many obstacles down. A question, though, and possibly a dumb one. Would you even *want* to go back? If I ripped you from the timeline, that is."

Alastor

“Does what I’d want matter? Either you put me back, you exterminate me, or you drop me somewhere outside of Hell and I end up having to go back eventually. A disembodied soul can’t last forever outside of Hell, and I can’t move into a neighboring Hell without stepping on an alternate’s hooves.”

Valera

She rolls her eyes, sighing noisily. "Yes, it matters. Even if we can't figure out something better, I want to *try* and help you get a happier ending. Because right now, it's sounding like you're about to give up Telly to go run into your Pentious' arms. Which I don't think Telly would like much."

Alastor

“No! That’s not what I want! I keep double checking that this will delete the current timeline for a reason! If some different Alastor *just slightly* removed from me ends up with him, dandy, but it had damn well better not be me! I’m not trying to get back with him, I’m trying to get ERASED!”

Well. That’s sure something he said and can’t unsay.

Valera

She freezes, her eyes locked on Alastor's face. So, the truth comes out, does it? But is this the eye of the storm, or a defeated gasp? This may require some care.

A slow inhale. A shift of her weight as she sits more upright, face neutral. "I *see*."

Alastor

Those weren’t quite the words he expected out of himself, either. But he’s nothing if not impossible to shut up, so he swallows hard and soldiers on. “Didn’t I say, the very first time we discussed this, that when you made that other timeline, I didn’t want you to combine my memories with my past self—I wanted you to let me get deleted with the rest of this timeline? *This isn’t for me.* I don’t want to get him back—I want him to win. How isn’t that clear? If I wasn’t worried about what it would do to Sir Pentious’s psyche if his lover is assassinated on his airship the morning after they hooked up, I’d tell you to put a bullet through my head the moment you see me!”

Valera

She nods, chewing her lip thoughtfully as she watches him dig his hole deeper with every word he rattles out. She'd known this, really. He'd said it. But she didn't realize..

Well. Better late than never, one supposes. "And what about Telly, Alastor? What are you going to do about *him?* What of *his* psyche?"

Alastor

His face almost cracks completely, brows drawing and smile half wilting. He slumps down onto a seat again. “I shouldn’t have gotten him involved.” It’s not really an answer.

Valera

"No, you shouldn't have! But you did, and now you have another problem to solve. Because Alastor? I do NOT want to explain to that poor man that I helped his boyfriend erase himself from existence for the sake of the man he betrayed, and had planned on doing so before you two even met. You may not have to deal with the fallout, but *I will.*"

Alastor

He inhales sharply at the thought of it. “Isn’t there a way to... As long as we’re altering timelines, can’t we just... make it so he never met me? It was under three months ago, all it would take...” He can’t even finish. It feels like knives just to think about.

Valera

"I already find the idea of breaking your timeline dubious at best, and now you want me to alter the reality of my friend? An innocent party in all this? You *know* he wouldn't want that, Alastor. I agreed to help you with one very specific problem, it isn't my fault that you decided to dally with another snake and complicate matters when you knew your time was potentially limited to months. I wont help you fix that."

She struggles to her feet, empty mug in hand. "I am going to get a refill on my tea. Do you want more coffee, Alastor?"

Alastor

He glances at his cup. He still hasn’t quite emptied it. He shakes his head.

Valera

A nod. "I will be clear. I am not angry, I am not saying I wont help you. But I cannot fix all of your problems so easily. Your actions have consequences, and erasing yourself wont leave everyone happy and everything tied up with a bow." Her thumbs rub over the smooth finish of her mug, brow furrowing in thought.

"I am sorry, Alastor. If I could guarantee, one hundred percent, that I could erase you from Telly's life, take you back to your timeline, and wipe you out before you ever hurt your Pentious.. I would. I would obliterate your mind on the spot and let whatever version of you sprang forth, happy and in love, carry on with your day like it never happened. And I'd take that to my grave. But I can't make that promise." Okay she'd better actually leave, standing around holding an empty cup to rant at someone is stupid. Give her a bit.

Alastor

He nods vaguely, but although he absorbs what Valera says, most of his focus is on his own thoughts.

Telly. If he leaves, who’s there for Telly? Who’s the one who will bargain, threaten, or assassinate whoever it takes to get Telly the supplies he needs for his ship? When all his machines are broken, who’s going to be the one to fill the gaps with magic until they’re repaired? Who will tell him that he’s beautiful, brilliant, unstoppable, every day until he believes it himself? Who’s going to *feed* him?

Every single day, Alastor sees more of Telly’s real self—the person Alastor met just shy of three months ago is hardly a ghost compared to the person Telly is now. It doesn’t matter how Alastor leaves. If he just vanishes, then everything he’s tried to give Telly will be lost. If they never met, then Alastor never gave him those things at all.

He’s still brooding on these thoughts when Valera gets back.

Valera

Valera lets him have some silence, settling back down with her tea as she observes Alastor's stewing. Good. He's thinking. Maybe he'll think his way *out* of this idiocy.

Alastor

He’s working on it.

His Sir Pentious, though—the one he *betrayed*—nothing is fixed for him if Alastor *doesn’t* follow through. He’s still stuck where he is. So which is worse? Which weighs heavier? Never paying the price and making amends for the sin he committed before, or committing a fresh sin now? If no matter what he does, he’s got to knowingly and deliberately doom one of them to an afterlife of broken hopes and unfulfilled aspirations, which one of them is worse?

“... I made a deal with him.” Instead of trying to repeat it, he just plays it back, his own voice slightly cracklier than usual as if it’s playing back from a phonograph record: “*I swear I will never knowingly and deliberately or callously break your heart; and I swear that if I do ever leave, I’ll leave with kindness and honesty; and I swear I’ll never betray you like I did the Sir Pentious of my universe; or I forfeit my soul and all those I have to you.*”

He looks at Valera. “As far as you can think of—is there no possible way for me to do this without violating all three of those?”

Valera

Valera pauses, rolling the terms over in her mind. "You could tell him you can't be with him anymore because you realized your goals are incompatible. That would be a _kindness._ You would be leaving with honesty. Your goals _are_ incompatible."

Alastor

Nods, he accepts that. There are ways he could be honest without telling too much of the truth. Debatable on the idea that he’d be leaving with kindness, but he’s willing to let that sit for the moment. “The other two, then. I wouldn’t be knowingly and *deliberately* breaking his heart, since breaking it is just a side effect instead of my goal; but it would be knowingly and *callously.*”

Valera

"Is it callous, to try and spare him from further harm by stepping away? Because that's what you'd be doing, I imagine."

She leans back into the cushions of the couch, tapping her chin. "_Knowingly_ breaking his heart is the real issue. You've essentially _trapped_ yourself in the relationship. You can't leave while he has feelings for you, no matter how kind and honest you are, because you'll break his heart doing it."

Alastor

“I was damn careful with my wording to make sure I wouldn’t be trapped.” He shakes his head. “That’s why it has to be both. Knowingly-*and*-deliberately or knowingly-*and*-callously. If I know it will break his heart, but the heartbreak isn’t deliberate or callous, it’s legal.” He takes a deep breath. “But I’m *not* trying to spare him harm by stepping away. I’m trying to... disappear, to undo a prior betrayal; and, in the process, I’d be knowingly adding to the parade of people who have promised him the world and then ripped it away—and—and I’d be doing untold damage to his ability to follow his ambitions.” He clears his throat, his voice is starting to sound a little hoarse. “He wouldn’t be spared harm. Knowing the extent of the damage, I—there’s—there’d be no way to proceed without callousness. Would there.”

Valera

Valera has an argument already half formed, but stops. Cocks her head to one side. Why the FUCK would she try to convince him around to her side. This was basically a get out of jail free card. Her perspective didn't matter here, it was *his* contract.

"Y-yeah. If that's the way you interpret your contract, you're well and truly stuck."

Alastor

His shoulders slump, the tension draining out of them all at once. "So that's that? It's undoable." If he can't think of a way and Valera can't think of a way...

Valera

She lifts a shaky mug to her lips, squeaking out what MIGHT be the affirmative. "Mm-Mm!"

Alastor

“All right. That’s that.”

He expects to feel... maybe relieved. Maybe resigned. Instead, what hits first is an unexpected wave of grief. He tries to disguise it by rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, as though he’s just tired. “So—“ Ahem. “So. You and I shook. If we can’t proceed, then what’s... How do we dissolve that?”

Valera

Valera frowns, fins drooping as she wavers. But no. This is for the best. "Well, how do *you* negate a deal that is no longer viable? All you need to do is say you've released me from the contract, on my end."

Alastor

“You’re released from the contract if I’m released from the contract.” He’s not *unilaterally* releasing somebody else from a contract, that’s just common sense.

Valera

Her eyes are ROLLING. Of course, even now he's being difficult. "Well we shook on it. What does your magic need to terminate the agreement? Blood? Another handshake?"

Alastor

"For you to agree to the same out loud." It's not THAT complicated; but a release from a contract has to be mutual. Otherwise anyone could cancel a contract at any time, and then where would the exploitative dealmakers of the world be?

Valera

"Alright. I release you from our contract under the same terms."

... She doesn't know why she always expects something dramatic to happen, it never does. At least she can lean back and sigh, now.

Alastor

If it helps, Alastor plays a little *ta-daaa* trumpet fanfare.

Valera

It helps, but also makes her primary heart clench. She didn't lie, but she wasn't honest. And it digs into her like a splinter.

A sigh. "Are you okay, Alastor? I know you wanted _very_ badly to help the Pentious of your Hell." That came out more gently than she'd intended, but she's too tired to try and force a casual demeanor right now. Deal with her concern.

Alastor

He's silent for a moment, then sighs and sort of shrugs and shakes his head at the same time. "It just puts me back where I was a few months ago. No great loss."

Valera

"Sure, but you got your hopes up, only for them to be dashed by a contract of your own design." She isn't going to comment on that being incredibly dumb. She isn't. But she's thinking it. Even though it worked out for her.

"I suppose that means you'll have to do things the old fashioned way if you want to make amends."

Alastor

"If the contract wasn't there, I would have had to *decide* which one of them I want to hurt. At least this way the choice is out of my hands. And it means the contract did its job, didn't it?"

He rubs his eyes. "Still. Having the end in sight, and then watching it disappear..."

Valera

Most people would be happy to live another day, but a man craving oblivion? Maybe not so much. She frowns.

"At least you've got Telly. That leaves your local Pentious still suffering. And lest we forget, I entered that contract wanting to help _him_. Still do."

Alastor

And there is nothing he wants more than to go home, curl up in Telly's coils, and not come out for a week. He nods. "I know."

Valera

A low sigh. She could WANT to help, but she couldn't really *do* much. "Well. I suppose there's nothing to be done, at least not now."

Alastor

"I suppose not. Maybe another time." It's hard to even think about an alternative plan right now. How can he even consider a plan that doesn't involve completely erasing all of his mistakes in one fell swoop? What's the *point*?

Valera

"Another time? Yes, absolutely. The politician in me already has five concepts to workshop with my imaginary team. But I am tired, and nauseous, and I want to go hide against either Leal or Penny, whichever lucky man I find first."

Alastor

"Cheers to *that.*" He limply picks up his almost-empty coffee mug. "I think I'll be following your lead." Now that for the first time he HAS someone to hide against.

Valera

She waves her tea at him in what could pass as a pale imitation of a toast, slamming back the rest of her drink like a shot. "At least that's one thing we get out of *love*. Somebody willing to let us use them as *emotional support*."

Alastor

That feels like an attack. Why does that feel like an attack? "Or a warm pillow." He finishes his coffee and stands. "Well, that didn't quite go the way I wanted it to. But thank you for the introduction." He nods toward the egg. "And I suppose I'll see you at work tomorrow?" Remember that part? After all this, they've got JOBS they've gotta go to tomorrow? Harrowing.

Valera

She opens her mouth to remind him that she and Penny are both coldblooded, but then remembers that Leal is a furnace on legs, and just nods instead. "It was... Well. Parts of this visit were fun. I'll see you tomorrow, Alastor. And I'll remember to talk to my beau about your role in Eelizzy's life." Thumbs up.

Alastor

Listen, Alastor's spent the past few decades crying himself to sleep on a pillow with a faux snakeskin pillowcase. Who wants to argue with him if he says he feels warmer when he's wrapped around Telly.

His expression brightens a little bit. "I'd appreciate it."

Valera

She wheezes out a breathy laugh as she stands, smoothing her dress over her stomach. "Hey. I know this was rough, and I wish our talks didn't always end so stressfully, but I do think you'll be a fantastic uncle. With allowances for Penny and Leal, there's nobody I'd trust more to make sure my daughter was cared for if something happened to me. And I mean it."

A flick of a wrist, and a familiar portal opens in the wall, the Hotel's lobby visible through a shimmery haze. It could have gone worse, all things considered.

Alastor

"I doubt we'll need to have any other conversations on this. It's not like we have anything else to discuss on the topic." A crooked smile, but a slightly pained one. "Just let me know when the first PTA meeting is!" And out he goes.

Valera

[[ NOT LIKE SHE CAN DUMP HIM ON TELLY'S SHIP BUT SHE *WISHES*

Alastor

((He's gonna be teleporting himself STRAIGHT to Telly's ship anyway))

[otpnessmess]

For you, there’s nothing I wouldn't do

Here it is finally! The first part of the Jasonette fake dating AU I had promised. I’m working on the following parts already as I will have a couple of weeks with a lot of free time. I’m so sorry for disappearing. Enjoy!

Ao3 - Masterlist

Next

-

“You’ve officially lost your mind, Jay, I swear to God.”

When Marinette had agreed to get up early on a Sunday morning because Jason had asked her to hang out, she didn’t think she’d regret it five seconds into meeting her best friend at their favorite restaurant. And she hadn’t yet, but it was very close.

“Nette, please, I’m begging you right now. Do you want me to kneel and plead? Because I will, don’t try me.” His blue eyes had always been her weakness and the puppy face he was making at her right now almost made her agree on the spot to whatever insane plan he had come up with. The keyword being almost.

“Alright, let me just reiterate to make sure I’m understanding. Your father is hosting a gala in a month and you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?��� Marinette tried to keep her face as straight and serious as possible but it was proving hard since the words she had just said sounded utterly ridiculous.

“Pretty much, yeah. So, will you? I swear I’ll pay you if I have to, I just need you to help me out with this.” He had started to look hopeful since she had yet to outright deny him his request. “You know I love you Bug, and you’re the only one I can trust with something like this.”

Damn, he was good at telling her exactly what she liked to hear, and Mari was just not strong enough to say no to him, though she did plan to at least make him sweat a bit more for it. “Oh really? And what if I asked you for, I don’t know, a new car?”

Her forced attempt at being difficult hadn’t flown under Jason’s radar as he seemed to pick up on it and smirked. “We both know you would never ask for that since you refuse to let me pay for anything every time we go out, but if you did ask for that, know that I’m ready to do whatever you wish me to do. Do you maybe want an apartment? You did mention wanting to stop paying rent… ”

Despite the teasing tone in his voice paired with the sly smirk on his face Marinette knew he was dead serious which, even if it flattered her that her friend would even think about doing such a thing for her, made her backtrack on being difficult immediately.

“No! Argh, you’re impossible. Fine, I’ll follow along to whatever your brilliant plan is, but don’t you dare buy me an apartment, you crazy knobhead.” The look she shot at him tried to be venomous but seemed to be ineffective when the brightest grin took over Jason’s face as he moved to sit by her side to squish the living daylights out of the tiny woman.

“I swear I don’t know what I did to deserve you Nette, I love you.”

That earned him a playful smack on the arm as Marinette gave in and chuckled at his antics. “I love you too, you goofball. Now, get off of me and finish your breakfast.”

The man sat across her once again looking like the cat that got the canary, Cheshire grin in place. “You’re the best."

She pretended not to notice the way her heart paused for a beat when she saw the way Jason was looking at her, with caring eyes as if she was incredibly precious. Instead, the woman hid her face behind her mug of coffee.

"W-why do you need me to do this anyway? What do you need a fake girlfriend for?”

Jason’s demeanor instantly changed, his shoulders squared up and he frowned. “The annual gala my father holds for the company’s investors and partners is always full of old men who are full of themselves-”

“Doesn’t that remind me of someone?”

“Oh shut up, I at least have a good reason for it. They’re nothing more than a bunch of old hags who like to brag 24/7, and since this gala is in their "honor” they can bring guests with them. If I have to go by another year hearing them pitch their daughters and grand-daughters to me hoping I’ll date one of them, I’ll simply kill one of them. Some of the girls over the years have been nice but for every decent one you can actually talk to, you have at least 9 others doing the most ridiculous things to try and get your attention. I assume it’s what they are asked to do but I swear… And everyone else gets out of it too. Dick is already married to Kor'i, Tim is forever married to his job and Damian is not old enough for most of them. So that leaves me, the handsome Jason Todd, to carry the family’s weight on my shoulders.“

She snorted at the theatrical sigh he let out before laying his head on the table, immediately regretting it as he looked up at her with a glint in his eyes. "That’s where you, my dear Miss Dupain-Cheng come in. If I have a girlfriend, those girls will have to effectively back off of me as well, and I won’t have to restrain myself from being incredibly rude to them.”

“As if you could actually restrain yourself from being rude.”

Whether he didn’t hear her or just decided to ignore her comment Mari didn’t know, but once the monologue had been delivered, he leaned back on his seat with his signature smirk. “I’m a genius, I know.”

It took a whole lot from Marinette not to smack her dumbass of a friend again, but even she had to admit no one deserved to have their space invaded as she knew Jason had had in some of the other events his father organized, and if he was being truthful with her, then this gala was shaping to be even worse in that regard. If she could help her friend it would be enough for her, but in doing this she would also have an opportunity to design a gown to wear and hopefully get some people interested in her designs. Maybe she didn’t regret agreeing to this that much anymore.

“You’re one hell of a crazy person, Jay. You’re lucky you’re my best friend.” She rolled her eyes and nudged his leg with hers under the table with a smile. “We’ll have to do some planning this month and you better be ready. I’m not meeting your family for the first time as your fake girlfriend without running through each and every way this could catastrophically end.”

His shoulders relaxed as he nudged her leg back, relief flooding his face seeing her so committed. “Don’t worry Bug, they will love you, and I’ll explain everything to them after this is over, but if they are in on it from the start I just know one of my brothers will screw it up. I think we can pull it off though, and you know I’m always up for a challenge.”

The already familiar confidence rush that ran through Marinette whenever Jason reassured her that everything would be fine made an appearance once more, and at that moment she completely trusted themselves to be able to make do with this crazy-ass plan. After all, Jay was stubborn and always ready to jump in head-first into the weirdest situations.

Newsflash. This time he wasn’t.

Jason had known it was risky to ask his best friend to play pretend so he could get rid of the sticky girls from the gala.

Not because he thought she would refuse, but because of his own feelings.

Truth is, he was in love with Marinette and had been ever since five months into their friendship they encountered two thugs trying to rob a teenager on their way to school. Jason had put one of them down but, before he could go for the second one, Marinette already had knocked him out.

Her breathing was just a bit labored from throwing the man over her shoulder and one of her pigtails had come off from where the robber had grabbed it, but then she turned to wink at him with a smile before going to see if the teen was alright. Red Hood could only feel the sound of his heartbeat in his ears.

Knowing Marinette was potentially able to kick his ass at any given moment had made him feel all kinds of things, and he was already a goner by the time she was back by his side.

That same night, and back in his bed, Jason was mulling over the earlier events. Read: thinking about Marinette. He had never felt so flustered around the tiny woman and it had proven to be a hard task to get her out of his head even when she had left for her own house several hours ago.

One thing led to another and soon he found himself reminiscing about the past months spent in Marinette’s company. How she always seemed to brighten up any room she walked into, making him feel like he should look away but being unable to. Her caring nature taking over whenever someone in need of help was in the vicinity, the tenderness with which she treated people’s injuries, be it physical or emotional.

Jason remembered the first time he had been at the receiving end of it. It had been the time when his identity as Red Hood was also revealed to her.

In his defense, he hadn’t expected Marinette to arrive early to his flat for their movie night only to find him trying to get the cuts all over his abdomen and arms to stop bleeding. Time seemed to freeze as they stared at each other, one sitting on a barstool at the kitchen isle, the other standing at the door with a bag of snacks in her arms. Marinette, being the quick-witted and resourceful person she was, recovered astoundingly quickly from her stupor and started chastising him while tending to the cuts herself while he could only look at her in awe.

Later, when he explained where he got injured, she didn’t seem fazed by discovering his identity. If anything she seemed…smug?

“What’s with that face? I expected more of a reaction:”

Her smile only grew at that as she put on the last bandage around his arm. “I’m glad you finally told me, but I kind of…already knew? I mean, I had my suspicions. You two had roughly the same measurements as far as I could tell, you also happened to go MIA whenever there was an emergency a time too many for it to feel like a coincidence. Also the little stunt you pulled the other day talking to me in the mask? You should’ve at least tried to fake your voice or something.”  Once she was done she patted his head with a wink and left him to process everything while she prepared the popcorn.

That wink had been so cheeky it left him swooning, heartbeat pounding in his ears.

Wait. That had felt familiar.

Oh.

Oh.

Jason was brought back to the present with such force he thought someone had slapped him. Laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling at 3 am he couldn’t tiptoe around the issue anymore. He wondered how he hadn’t reached this conclusion much earlier.

He was in love with Marinette.

He was in love with his best friend.

Dear God, he was so fucked.

That had been the moment he accepted he was so utterly in love with Marinette, and even though Jason had hoped that what he thought was a very one-sided love would subside eventually, with each passing day where he got to know her better and better he only fell harder for her.

Why was he even thinking about all of this? Oh right. He had asked Mari to play pretend as his girlfriend that same afternoon.

What could possibly go wrong?

Marinette had taken it upon her to have their lie be as believable as possible, which meant she wanted them to at least plan out what they’d do if certain situations arose while they were navigating the gala. What this meant was that the following month they had spent a whole lot of time together, maybe too much for Jason’s sanity to remain as stable as it could.

Even if he was used to meeting her at least twice a week and spending their weekly movie night together, Mari practically lived in his apartment now. And he wasn’t complaining at all, but by the gods, if it wasn’t so damn distracting to have her around. She would often keep him company while asking questions about the people who would attend the gala, working on her dress for it, or simply walking around the house jokingly complaining about how Jason tasteless choice of furniture and decorations made the living room look like a yard sale.

Oh, and there was also all the teasing. There had been a consistent amount of it between them before, but now it had turned into a constant stream of cheeky comments, smirk exchanges and usually a smack or two from Mari.

All in all, Jason had lived through both the most blissful yet most frustrating month of his life and the worst of it had yet to arrive, though time did pass by way faster than he would’ve hoped for.

And just like that, the big night was upon them.

-

And that’s it! Hope you liked this little thing and look forward to the next parts! Thank you a lot for reading <3

Tag List

@vixen-uchiha @18-fandoms-unite-08 @tbehartoo @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @queenmj10 @mochegato

[darkelite020]

Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 12

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- So I sort of expected it by the end of last episode but it seems like last episode was a start of an episode arc about hera's family, which, for rebel's fans I'm sure it's cool and exciting and maybe answers some questions or will actually show things discussed in rebels maybe, but as someone who hasn't seen rebels yet, I really hope this episode and the next few have more bad batch screentime, cause we were a little robbed last episode lol (but in a way I do still enjoy this stuff too, because im sure when I DO watch rebels it'll make the experience better). -- I'm not disliking this arc or anything, but up to this point we've kind of had almost mandalorian style 'one episode one adventure' sorts of episodes, and personally I really hope we get more of that (which I think we will), because while this is all new content and everything, we all have to admit clone wars had some less interesting filler arcs here and there, and I just hope bb doesn't fall the same way (across all of its seasons, im not very concerned about it so far from what we've seen of season 1) because if there is filler, I'd rather sit through a couple of the one episode stories, rather than a 3-4 episode story that takes nearly a month to get through if im disliking it, mostly for the fact that even if we got those 1 ep fillers, its more stories and more likely I'd like at least one. ---kinda rambling about this unnecessarily atm cause while again right now I think bb is fine, I just want the future to be that way too. - fffff every time I see howzer on screen I think of that fucking audio thats "here comes the boy, hello boy~" and honestly can you blame me he is so precious like ugh I swear dave you better be nice to him -- YOU CAN TELL HE FEELS SO BAD AND GUILTY LIKE IT HURTS - hey admiral can you not be MEAN to howzer when he is trying to be fucking helpful -- ;-; BRO im saying it so much already but I feel so bad for howzer like dude someone help him --- imo it feels like its sort of setting up howzer for something more important in the show kinda, at least for his character. Like we can clearly tell he doesn't really agree with the empire and I think they're going to do something with that. He's probably undercover for someone against the empire but I get the bad feeling they're gonna pull a Fives and have him go against the empire and help everyone else somehow but then he will probably end up dead because we cant have nice things. - hello cross... bet you wont be saved this episode - Ok good, some more bad batch here already. -- ALSO GONKY BEING DEFECTIVE!!!! EVEN GONKY IS DEFECTIVE LIKE BB THATS SO CUTE! - uh, im not the only one getting the leia transmission vibes from hera, right? -- ok, again I haven't seen rebels so I dont know BUT if hera has the ability to talk to bb, couldn't she have done so in rebels? Yeah she's older and im sure better at fighting and defending herself and all that, but wouldn't it still be possible for her to have gotten in some kind of rough situation in Rebels to ask for bb's help again? I super doubt bb made any appearance of any kind in Rebels, so doesn't that imply that she lost communications with them? What happens to bad batch >> - bad batch not wanting to help but because omega really wants to you can see its making hunter soften up and I appreciate it - bruh what??? Taa is dead af, like theres no way the show is gonna pull some magic and be like 'oh yep here he is' thing??? Like this has to be a lie, but even then, what even is the plan here?? Saying "oh hes recovering" well he can't be recovering forever, how does that seem like a good plan to lie about that?? People are gonna find out?? - "Great just what we need" from Wrecker about crosshair MAKES ME ANGRY LIKE??? YES?? DONT BE MAD AT HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT??? SAVE YOUR FUCKING BOY??? -- oooo then the rest of bb doesn't comment about it literally gsjrkgbdkfbg why do they not care about him???? Like it seems they legitimately dont care about crosshair, even though theyve been together for so long like even before the show came out they

had history together and were all really close. I know people argue "oh well its just difficult to save him and its unrealistic for them right now" but so what? Even if they aren't trying to save him they should at least CARE about him. --- Which is also like the thing with echo and fives!!!! Like Echo didn't seem to care much at all when Rex mentioned fives even a little! Or even about seeing Rex that much!! Dave I'm gonna need some answers my guy, cause you humanized these characters but then you dont make them act that way so like whats up. - Lucky hunters abilities came in handy - Back to crosshair for a second im predicting they 100% arent saving him this season. There was a poster released part way through the season and he's not even on it... makes me so sad. - "I'd do the same for you." ;-; that didnt need to get that deep - CROSSHAIR BETTER NOT START SHIT WITH HOWZER - Howzer helping Hera's parents or at least implying that is good but that also means im right so far and therefore worried >> -- HES GOING TO GET FUCKING CAUGHT I BET TALKING TO THEM LIKE THIS AT SOME POINT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET ITS GONNA BE CROSSHAIR THAT CATCHES HIM --- Cham stfu its literally so obvious that howzer is trying to be genuine, also if he's kind of undercover for him like what the fuck do you expect howzer to do if he has to play along with the empire to keep his cover?? "Won't make that mistake again" Fuck off like honestly. ---- #stopbeingmeantohowzer2021 - "A little help" and the gentle "Hey" ahh love it - I'm really enjoying this whole them fighting in the ships sequence - "Stay here and guard the capitol" SCARES ME -- Please for the love of god bad batch don't get howzer killed --- or plot B Bad batch maybe run into howzer but save him and take him with you at least temporarily ---- oh god.... bb is helping heras parents escape and that means howzers gonna get in trouble.../probably replaced by crosshair - Crosshair is smart but thats also badddd - The scene of howzer and crosshair looking at each other is killing meeeeeeeee - Ohhh is howzer gonna stop them before they go out the door? -- YES HE IS SEE WHAT A GOOD BOY HE IS - (please fucking listen to him I beg) - Aw dude I just had a thought that breaks my heart... howzer cares about his squad and "trying to get through to them" but what if his squad is clones as well and the chips... that hurts me so badly... -- Like we all know howzer is a sweet boy by now but ughhh like the thought that he doesnt want to leave them even though they are doing whats wrong shows just how much he cares and I really hope he doesn't get into trouble because of what he's saying to them, but you know he totally would do it because he seems to care about them so much and :( bad batch more like sad batch --- This is the kind of compassion I wanted from bb for crosshair hunter kind of looks back at howzer as they leave him and I doubt itll mean anything but I really hope that maybe seeing how much howzer cares will make hunter care a little too... - *sigh* howzer is getting left behind by them which we know why but yeah... now he's definitely going to be in trouble... I just hope they don't hurt him... - OH GOD HOWZER BABY DONT -- He's making a speech and I know he's trying to sway them but you know damn well this is gonna go so badly for him because of the chips and crosshair is watching so you know howzer is gonna get fucked here and I know what hes trying for but I really wish he didnt just do that because now its blatantly obvious he's gonna be against them ;-; - Wow ok im kinda shocked people are siding with him (I guess cause theyre not all clones right) but I feel so bad for themmmmm - Crosshair missed multiple shots? Uh what? I didnt think that was possible lol - bb please come back for howzer and the others at some point.... -- I guess maybe if hera's parents are going to organize rebels against the empire maybe they will help them but I somewhat doubt it... - Ok I know that crosshair requesting to hunt them was supposed to be this big moment and all but I

can't help but feel like its a little underwhelming (but dont get me wrong still cool vibes) because he's kind of already been doing that anyway?? Or has tried to several times?? So I don't get why its a big deal, however, I do have a possible prediction: We know that bb got their chips removed, (crosshair doesn't, I know that) and so that eliminates the idea that they will get caught and actually go bad like crosshair, but it does leave a possibility where maybe they get captured and then *pretend* to be bad? And that could lead to a better possibility of helping crosshair (they wont) or maybe howzer and the other rebels or something? Cause I also feel like its significant that they brought up how the war will eventually come to them and bb will be a part of it no matter what eventually, and it makes obvious sense theyd be on the rebels side of it, so maybe something like that goes on, idk.

[aethes-bookshelf]

Forever || Alucard (Castlevania)/Reader

This is Part 2 of “Always”! Part 1 is here. I have a third part in my WIPs, so expect it soon. It’s going to be in a veeery different setting tho. (Honestly? At this point I’m expecting “Always” to become a full-fledged fic)

Pairing: Alucard/Reader

Warnings: angst, lots of angst

AO3 link

Before Alucard had the chance to properly start making dinner, he heard a crash. He turned around quickly and felt his heart stop for a moment. You were laying on the floor, holding onto your chest. He rushed to you faster than he thought he could move, stretching his arm out to touch you, help you up, but he didn’t know what he should do first.

“What is it? What happened?” he asked, looking you over. Alucard was more than painfully aware of how little time you had left. A part of him screamed to turn you, to forever keep you by his side, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. That would mean stripping you of your humanity. He would never see you smile on a sunny day again; he would be forced to feed you the blood of your people instead of your favorite meals. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t rob you of the warmth of summer days. So he opted for watching you age and giving you the best last years he could.

“I don’t know. Funny how often I fall lately. I’m starting to fear I won’t live to see another day.” You laughed humorlessly and looked up at him. “Don’t look so sad, love. We both know that day will come eventually. In the meantime, do you mind helping me up?”

Alucard carefully grabbed you by the arms and sat you up. “Are you sure you can stand?”

“Yes, I feel a bit better now, thank you.” You got up slowly, leaning on Alucard’s shoulder. “I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit. I bet a little nap will fix me up right away.”

He frowned slightly; hadn’t you just woken up from a nap not that long ago? A strange, heavy feeling squeezed his chest. The same feeling that haunted him each time something bad was about to happen. He didn’t like it one bit.

“Do you need any help going to your room?”

“Oh, please. I know I’m old, but I can walk on my own. I’ll be just fine.”

Alucard sighed. “Still, I don’t feel comfortable letting you go alone right after you collapsed.” You shook your head and smiled fondly. “You really need to stop worrying about me so much. I’m fine, really. It was just a moment of pain, I’m sure it wasn’t anything serious.” Still, you took him by the hand and led him out of the kitchen.

—–

Your room was big. So big, that you would complain about it sometimes. There was too much space, what were you supposed to do with it? You spent very little time there anyway.

Right the opposite of the door stood your bed. And even now, you would insist on changing the covers yourself despite losing strenght — though that meant Alucard would be here, watching your every move just in case something happened.

Alucard walked you right to the edge of the bed and held your hand as you were sitting down. He sat beside you and watched as you tucked yourself in with that fond look in his eyes. It used to fluster you when you were younger, but now it just made you feel safe. It was nice knowing he still loved you, despite your body being old and withered. It made your chest warm every time you thought about it.

You furrowed your eyebrows when you noticed he wasn’t getting up. Or leaving. “What’s the matter? Aren’t you going to eat?”

Alucard shook his head and reached for the book that laid on your nightstand. “I’ll stay here for now.”

“You can’t just not eat, love. You may be a dhampir, but it’s still unhealthy.” You insisted. “How about that — I’ll take a quick nap and you’ll go make dinner. Then you can come back here, and we’ll eat together, alright?”

“You really are stubborn, aren’t you? You won’t stop until I’ve eaten, right?”

“You know me so well.” You patted him on the hand. “Now shoo, you ought to eat.”

—–

Alucard was walking through the corridor with two steaming plates in his hands. He couldn’t help but notice that heavy feeling in his chest growing stronger. He was just worried because you’d collapsed earlier. That was normal, who wouldn’t be? Even though, he couldn’t help but walk faster.

“Dinner’s ready.” He said as he pushed open the door to your bedroom. “As I’ve said, I found the ingredients for your favorite, so…” He paused when he heard silence. No words but his, no movement… no breathing.

He dropped the plates as he rushed to your bed. He fell to his knees beside it and grabbed your hand. He pressed his fingers to your wrist. No pulse. He frantically leaned over you and checked your neck. Still, no pulse. That’s when panic finally set in. He pushed the covers out of the way and started to rhythmically press on your chest, just like his mother taught him to so many years ago. No matter that you were already starting to get cold and stiff. No matter that he just couldn’t get any reaction from you. No matter that some part of him already realized that you were gone. Forever. After what felt like nearly an hour, he finally stopped. His arms felt like they were on fire, but his chest hurt so much more. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. So what if the logical part of him knew this was a long time coming? It didn’t make the pain any lesser. Alucard collapsed on top of your body and let out a loud, heart-wrenching sob. Tears fell from his eyes freely as he held onto your cold hand. Gone, gone, gone. Just like everyone else. He should’ve turned you when he still had the chance. He should’ve, but he didn’t. And now his worst nightmare became reality.

—–

Alucard buried your body the next day, but he didn’t feel anything anymore. It was like the him from after the battle with his father was back again – and stronger than ever. As Alucard rhythmically moved his shovel, he tried to make himself feel something, anything, but his mind was empty. He knew that void — it was just the silence before the storm. He just had to wait until everything settled, and then his new reality would hit him. He was sure he would break apart, but that moment wasn’t now. Now he was burying the love of his life.

After he made sure your body was completely covered, he came back to the castle. He would have to make a tombstone for you tomorrow. But that was for tomorrow. He slowly walked to your room. Now was his last chance to fully take in the last pieces of your presence before it fully withered away and disappeared along with you. Alucard locked the door when he came in. He laughed a bitter laugh; as if there was anyone left to come in and disturb his mourning. He sat down in your chair and took in the entire room. Your closet, your desk, your bookshelf, your bed; everything was still the way you left it. He didn’t think he would ever find the strength in himself to clean everything up. If he didn’t, he could still pretend you would come back. He desperately wanted to believe that.

Then his eyes fell on the portrait he made you.

You were still young when he painted it. He would cringe while looking at it sometimes, insisting he could repaint it. He had got better with age after all. But you had denied every offer he made. You had loved that painting for some reason and hadn’t wanted to replace it no matter what he had said. And now, you were looking at him form that canvas with such warmth in your eyes.

That’s when he broke down for the second time.

He doubled over and clawed at his shirt. Everything was too much, he couldn’t go on anymore. He was alone. Everyone left him, even you. He felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and stomped into the ground. So he cried harder than ever in his life. His sobs and heaved breaths were the only sound in the room; they echoed in the corridors of the castle.

It took a long time for Alucard to finally calm down enough to see properly. Occasional sobs still shook his body, but he didn’t have the strength to cry anymore. He stood up and walked over to your bed. He collapsed and grasped at your pillow. Your scent was the strongest here; he buried his nose in your blankets and hiccupped silently. As he calmed down, he felt a strange warmth, as if someone was hugging him tightly. A nice thought appeared — that you still were there somewhere, looking over him. He could only hope to join you someday, just like he hoped his father had joined his mother after death.

“I love you” he whispered, and he could’ve sworn that he heard a faint voice reply. He closed his eyes and let a few more tears roll down his face.

He slept a dreamless, restless sleep.

[hollands-poppet]

Dancing with Our Hands Tied // Epilogue // Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom Holland is your best friend and your roommate, but you both have undisclosed feelings for each other.

Word count: 3.5K💛

A/N: Hello again!! I honestly thought I would never finish this story but I did....I can’t believe it. I want to thank @ladybirduris​ for really pushing me to finish this story, y’all deserve a proper ending and here it is..even though the wait was long! Alright, enjoy..see you at the end!!! 

Warnings: Italics is flashback, cussing, I kind of proofread but not really, maybe some tissues? 

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8

“I feel like I can actually be in a room alone, you know? No fear, no anxiety.” Y/N remarks as she updates her therapist on the last couple of weeks. She had been seeing her shrink for about a year now.

“It’s been a tough road but I feel so much better. I feel like I can actually take over the world now.” Her hand grips her right knee, she holds it tightly almost as a pinch to remind herself she’s not floating from her excitement.

Y/N had been sort of high on life lately, she’s gotten really good press for collabing with Haus Labs and she’s being recognized by a lot of celebrities for her makeup work. She didn’t know that life could be this good, considering the fact that her life was a mess a year ago. She knew life was unpredictable but didn’t know that she could live life comfortably so soon.

Her therapist responds with a nod, “Have you found a place to live yet?” They scribble some notes while keeping their contact with her client.

Y/N giggles, “What can I say? I’m a gypsy. My belongings are at my mom’s home but I bounce everywhere.” It was true, she was busier than ever and she just never got around to getting her own place. And she honestly felt like she didn’t need one at this current point of her life, she didn’t want to anchor herself to a permanent place just yet.

She felt so liberated the day she moved out of her old apartment. It felt like whatever negative energy had been latched onto her and wasn’t letting her live a normal life had stayed behind in that place. Her anxiety and depression, her neediness stayed at the place where her intruder had robbed her of her peace of mind. It took time but her peace eventually made its way back to her.

“So… what’s next for you, Y/N?”

Y/N takes a deep breath while tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, “ I don’t know..something different. I feel like I can take on the world, you know?”

Her therapist nodded with genuine happiness for her and began to look through her notes, “It’s been a good year Y/N, but I have to ask...anything in the past you feel like you want to go back to?”

Y/N purses her lips in thought, she’s taken herself to the day she decided she wanted help. So many memories, an overwhelming moment floods her thoughts.

-

“We can’t, Tom.” She doesn’t move, not even an inch because the warmth feels nice and familiar. She’s weary of even giving into a hug or a kiss, she doesn’t want to regret her decision.

He notices her not wanting to give into him but he also knows that this is what she has wanted for a long time..actually what they both have wanted for the longest time.

“Come on, love…aren’t you tired of dancing with our hands tied?” He asks as his hands rest on her neck, and her hands slowly come up his.

Her head comes closer to his, their noses touching at this point, “I am tired..but I need to work on myself first.”

Their lips touched and it felt like nothing had ever gone wrong between the two. They were just two young kids who wanted only this and this moment to last forever.

She pulls away and her sighs, she needs to express a bit more before any of this goes further, “Tom..I just want you to know that I can’t move to Kingston…”

He nods in agreement as their noses are still intact, “That’s okay, love. You don’t-”

“But, I do. I really do want to move there and be with you.” She bites her bottom lip as her hands hold onto arms tightly, “I just need to make sure I’m okay..And I don’t know if that’ll be tomorrow, a week, a month, a year.” There is a pause between the two, she’s nervous. All she wanted was this to work and whether that meant they had to work on themselves separately or together.

All y/n wanted to make sure was that he made her heart feel safe, and that if this wasn’t okay that he needed to tell her that. All she wanted to hear was that it was going to be okay, and his response was only a few moments away. She hoped he didn’t run away this time.

“Hey, if the universe wants us to be together...then we’re going to be together.” Toms says defeated, he wanted nothing but the best for the girl he loves. He watched the tears roll down her cheeks, he brings his hand to her cheeks and wipes her tears away. He gives out a sad smile, “I’m gonna let you go.”

Y/N’s tears flow even faster now, it was a bittersweet moment. He was respecting her wishes but she didn’t want to leave him. He continues, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m always going to be here for you, I will always want you.”

She feels comforted by his words, and she was relieved by his willingness to wait for her but she couldn’t do that to him. “You don’t have to wait for him, Tom.”

He looks into her Y/E/C eyes, he’s grasping in what he knows is going to be one of the last moments he is going to have with her for a while. He clears his throat, the ball in his throat causing him to choke up a bit.

A tear finally escapes his eye, “We’re endgame, darling.” They both let out a laugh, he relieves the tension by making a cheesy, yet serious statement.

Y/N nods, her sobs making the most noise in the room. “Okay..endgame it is.” She gives a crooked smile and he gives her one back.

Without hesitation, both of their lips meet. Tom and Y/N take each other in for a few minutes, they didn’t know what the future held for them but now it was goodbye.

-

She sighs through reliving all of the past with just a few seconds, “I don’t know, a year ago I would’ve said yes in heart beat but now… I’m not so sure.”

Her therapist gives her a reassuring smile, “And that’s okay. As long as your progress and your happiness isn’t going to be jeopardized then that’s okay to take time to figure that out.”

Y/N takes in their comment, she didn’t know what she wanted to do now. She is in such a different place than she was a year ago.

“I don’t want to keep you here all day, so we’ll finish here but let’s get together for an update in six months, okay?” Her therapist remarks as she writes down the future date on an appointment card.

“For sure.” Y/N says, six months was far from this moment but she knew it would fly by just like this year did.

-

-

It had been about a month or so since her final therapy session and Y/N’s progress was kept, she was very happy. She felt normal finally, whatever that meant.

She had just finished doing Priyanka Chopra’s makeup for an event, a sweet client that Y/N had just started to work with. Y/N had left the hotel that she had just done her appointment in, throwing her kit of makeup into the lyft that had been waiting outside.

Just as she closes the trunk, she feels her phone begin to vibrate in her pocket. She decides to let it ring and gets into the car, a tired sigh escaping her mouth.

She felt like her phone had been vibrating forever, so she decided to just answer it. Without even giving her screen much of a look and seeing the contact, she answers the call, “Hello, this is Y/N.”

“Hey, Y/N! It’s Z!”

Y/N’s heart dropped, she hadn't seen or spoken to Zendaya that day she had dipped from the shooting Far From Home. She and Zendaya didn’t end off on good or a bad note, she just left. She needed help and she went to get it, and it’s not like she avoided Z because she was resentful. She just felt like her toxic behavior at the time had pushed her best friend away.

“Z- oh my god. I- how are you?”

“I’m good, Y/N. I miss you.” Z remarks, she’s lying in her bed with Noon while her laptop rests on the edge of her bed.

Y/N is trying to process her thoughts at the same speed of their conversation, “I- I miss you too. I wasn’t expecting this phone call today, sorry if I’m a little speechless.” There was a long pause, they hadn’t spoken for a year and it had hit both of them hard.  

This was a lot to process, Y/N couldn’t believe this was happening.

“I understand. How are you, Y/N?”  Z breaks the silence, she couldn’t pick up her friend’s vibe through the phone yet. She never held anything against her friend for leaving, Z really believed in mental health and it was important that she got help for her mind, body and soul.

Y/N sighs, “I’m okay… okay as in great. I just finished treatment not too long ago so I'm excited  to just move on with my life. Life is good right now.”

Zendaya smiles, she sits up in her bed adjusting herself to go a little deeper in the conversation. “That’s really amazing news, Y/N. I’m glad you took care of yourself and you did what you had to do.”

Y/N nods but forgets that Z can’t see her reaction, “Yeah, it was- I’m sorry for everything. Just know that my trauma was taking over me. I never meant to hurt you in anyway.”

“I understand, I was scared to call but I’m happy I did. I never blamed you for anything.”  Z exhales nervously before continuing, “I would love to see you, Y/N.”

Y/N smiles, “I-I’m ready to see you... I would love to see you.”

Zendaya giggles, “You know, it still might be too soon but I’m working on a show and I feel like you would kill the makeup looks!”

Y/N laughs at her friend's quick insert for trying to get her a job, “Ah, two birds, one stone. I see, Miss Zendaya.”

They both let out a laugh, Y/N knew Z’s intentions were all good and she probably just wanted to spend time with her again.

“No - but seriously. It’s called Euphoria and the makeup ideas floating around are so dope! You would honestly kill it.

Y/N sits in thought, it’s been a whole year since she and Z had done anything together. “It sounds fun but-”

“Please, please Y/N! You can’t say no!”

Y/N laughs, “How about we talk about it when we see each other?”

Fine.” Z says quickly with a pout. “Oh, my god! Please tell me you’re free this weekend!”

Y/N closes her eyes and thinks about her schedule, “Um, I might be free I think. Why, whats up?”

Z gets excited, she starts speaking so fast Y/N can barely catch up with what she is saying. “We’re doing press this Saturday for Far From Home at Disneyland! You should totally come!”

Y/N forgot she had even worked on that movie. A lot of wild stuff happened during that shoot that she completely blocked that movie from her mind.

There was another bit of a pause and Z took it as maybe Y/N wasn’t vibing, “Look, I understand if you’re not ready-”

“No, I am. I am so over it. I’ll come, I miss Disneyland as much as I miss you.”

Z squeals, “Oh my gosh, yes! Yay! I can’t wait to see you, Y/N.”

Y/N honestly can’t wait to see her best friend either, “Hey, I’m going to let you go here, I’m pulling up to my mom’s house. Send me more info for this weekend when you can.”

“Alright, Y/N, I will. I love you. Bye,bye.”

“I love you, too.” Y/N says right before she hangs up the phone. She lets out a breathy laugh because she can’t believe she had just spoken to Zendaya. She couldn’t believe that they hadn’t spoken in a year. It felt almost the same, she would see how everything would go when she sees her for the press junket.

As Y/N sat in her thoughts, it hit her hard that Tom would be at this press junket too. Oh, shit.

-

-

The days leading up to the day Y/N was going to Disneyland was nerve wracking. There has been so much progress and she was scared her nerves would wreck it all.

Maybe she felt scared that Tom would have moved on already. They were at first just roommates turned lovers turned….friends?

Could that be a thing? She didn’t know what to expect, how do you be friends with someone you were once in love with… or still in love with?

Y/N didn’t even go back to their apartment that they had once shared together to get her things, he shipped everything to her mom’s house. At the end of the day, she knew whatever was going to happen was out of her control. But Tom did say that if they were meant to be together, it would happen.

The nerves running through her body were making her palms sweat as she sat on the tram on the way to the park. So many scenarios of how this could go down but she truly had no idea. She got off the tram with the rest of the crowd, and had given Darnell, Zendaya’s assistant, a call because she had her backstage pass. Y/N’s nerves were still really high because this moment was a year in the making.

Darnell met up Y/N at the front gates of California Adventure, they caught a bit and he explained that the cast was going to surprise fans and film some promos. Her anxiety was shooting through the roof as she makes her way through the backstage section of the park but she never felt like more in the right place than she did right now.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

Y/N turns around and sees her friend standing right behind her, “Z!!”

With no hesitation, the girls are in each other’s arms. It was one of those moments that fels so right, and it didn’t even feel like the two hadn’t seen each other in a year.

Z pulls back bringing her hands to Y/N’s cheeks, “You look so good! Oh my god, you look amazing!” She pulls Y/N in for another hug which Y/N doesn’t mind, she missed moments like this with Z.

Y/N pulls away, “Thanks, babes! You look so good, too!”

Z does a little pose showing off her look, “Law killed it as per usual!”

They both laugh, “Agreed!” Y/N lets out while tucking her hair hand behind her ear. “So, what are you guys doing now?”

“We actually just finished filming with some fans and took photos. They’re pretty much going to film us going on rides because they need B-roll.”

Y/N nods, “Sounds fun. What were you planning on getting on?”

Z grabs a churro from Darnell, “Well Jacob headed back to the hotel because he doesn’t do rides but Tom wanted to ride Guardians first.”

Fuck, Y/N had already completely forgotten that he was here too. “Z, I-I’m so nervous to see him.” Y/N rubs her palm sweat on her jeans and bites her lip to help calm her jitters.

Zendaya licks the sugar off of her lips, “He hasn’t stopped talking about you..” There is a slight pause only because Y/N was lost in her thought process.

“If you’re not comfortable we can go, the fans only care about Tom anway.”

“You’re not chickening out are you now, Zendaya?” A familiar voice asks and immediately causes Y/N’s heart to beat 10x faster than it already was.

Zendaya turns around and that’s when Y/N she comes into Tom’s full view. This is the first time he had since Y/N that day she left. Sure, he had seen and lightly stalked her instagram here and there but this was the real thing. Time literally stopped, everyone and everything had become frozen in time.

The only noise that can be heard is the theme park music, their eyes locked onto one another.

Y/N makes the first step towards him, and doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him. His arms wrap around her just as quickly as hers did. As much as Y/N’s leaving was growth, it was a learning experience for him too.

He was able to focus on himself and his work but it would be a lie to say time apart from Y/N was difficult. He pulls away, “I missed you so much.” Y/N didn’t even speak, she didn’t have to and just

as the two are about to kiss-

“Alright, lets go. You guys can catch up on the way to Guardians.” Zendaya interrupts.

The two looked at each other and they noticed they were drawing a bit of too much attention from the crew around them.

It was a little bittersweet but catching up sounded nice too. Zendaya and Darnell led the group while the camera crew followed them to every ride. It was a bit hectic but security was able to keep the guests and fans at a good distance.

While the cameras weren’t rolling, Y/N and Tom updated each other on their lives. They both mentioned how they were doing, what they were working on. It was all good vibes, it felt like nothing had changed except that Y/N was leading what calls a “normal” life now.

It had been a really fun day, a draining one as well. Y/N wanted to hang around the park a little bit longer to watch the sunset at Paradise pier. Zendaya and the crew left the park, they were drained but Tom stayed behind with Y/N.

Y/N and Tom stand at the bridge of pier overlooking the view, the ferris wheel and the rides behind adding a very romantic vibe.

“I’m truly happy for you, Y/N. I really am.” Tom says as he looks at the girl next to him.

She smiles while keeping her eyes on the sunset, “You know..I really didn’t want to leave you that day.”

He looks back over at the direction of the ferris wheel, “I know.”

Y/N sighs, “I honestly was scared to lose you.” The sun begins to disappear, the lights of the ferris wheel and park lights shoot up around them.

“I didn’t know if I wanted to come because I was scared that- I was scared that this was going to be different but just being here and seeing you…”

They both look at each other and she continues, “It just feels like home, you know?”

He nods in agreement, “My feelings haven’t changed Y/N.”

She blushes, “So what now?” She asks as she presses her lips.

He shrugs his shoulders, “Well, what is it that you want?”

Y/N turns to Tom, “This year has been soo good to me. I’ve been able to grow, feel like I’m in control of my own life but some things…”

The two turn their heads from the view and to each other’s eyes, “Some people were missing.”

A quick silence between them, nothing changed except for Y/N and this was a better version of herself, “I’m so much better than I was and all I want is to keep growing with you, Tom. I never stopped loving you. I love you, Tom.”

“I know what I want...I want what I wanted a year ago and that’s still you. I love you, Y/N.”

He brings his hand to her cheek and begins to pull her in for a kiss until she stops him, “What did you say that night before I left? Let’s stop Dancing with Our Hands Tied, Tom.”  

Tom laughs and brings her head in closer, their noses are touching. “Shut up, Y/N.”

They both laugh and without reluctance, both of their lips meet for the first time in forever and it felt like home to both of them. He pulls away and keeps her close in his arms, “I’m glad you came back to me, YN.” 

-

-

A/N: THE END. OMFG. ANOTHER STORY COME TO AN END. I just want to thank y’all for sticking with those story for as long as you guys did. I wanted to give Y/N and Tom a proper ending... I can’t believe it’s over. Please send me your thoughts, I love you guys!!! -Amy 💛

[juliabohemian]

Why FACTS do not seem to matter to the United States

Just a few commonly held misconceptions that interfere with people’s ability to appreciate facts:

1. You only have value if you are productive.

This completely disregards children, the elderly, the disabled and the mentally ill. It suggests that anyone who isn’t productive is a drain on the system, and therefore expendable. This is a product of capitalism, which benefits profit over quality of life.

This is also why people feel guilty for just relaxing. Like it’s not okay to just take some time to decompress. We’ve turned productivity into a fetish. Being busy is considered some kind of accomplishment and even used as a measurement of someone’s social or professional prowess.

2. Your accomplishments don’t count unless you suffered for them.

This is a concept perpetuated by the rich, in order to justify the mistreatment of those who keep them rich. It is a product of the Christian-based romanticization of suffering as an inevitability of life. It discourages believers from questioning those who keep them poor, or from trying to change their own circumstances. If you aren’t sure what I mean, Google Joel Osteen.

Suffering IS a part of life. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be.

Thoughts and prayers.

3. Anything you need in life has to be earned.

This is also a product of capitalism. Basically, the notion is that you’re entitled to nothing. Not even a roof over your head or food to eat. It doesn’t matter whether you need it to survive. If you don’t have the cash to pay for it, your life is expendable.

4. If you work really hard, you can achieve anything.

This particular concept was first conceived during the early days of colonialism. But it really took off after WW2 when, due to the economic rebound, it was actually possible for someone to survive off of minimum wage. People who experienced those conditions firsthand are extremely unlikely to believe that the same isn’t possible for everyone, regardless of any evidence to the contrary. If you just pull up those darn bootstraps, you can make it happen!

This belief also completely disregards the ways in which systemic racism and bias against other marginalized groups separates them from the resources they need to succeed.

4. If you are poor or homeless, it’s probably your fault somehow.

The purpose behind this is to relieve us of any responsibility to care for those around us who are struggling. When we see a homeless person, we have an immediate reaction. Whether it is guilt about what we have, or guilt because we have no intention of giving them cash, or guilt because we know we are in no position to help them. People relieve that discomfort by falling back on the belief that the homeless and the poor are irresponsible, lazy, stubborn, mentally ill, or on drugs. That way it is okay not to care about them. It’s okay to vote against programs that might benefit them.

5. If we just stop enabling the poor, they will stop being poor.

This is based on the misconception that people are poor by choice. The belief is that if we remove programs that are helping poor people, the poor will stop being so stubborn and quit being poor.

It completely disregards the actual reasons why people are poor.

This same concept also applies to LGBT, the disabled and the mentally ill. As there is also a widely held misconception that these things are all the result of personal choice and therefore, can be altered at will. Taking away the rights of these groups will magically force them to conform to the norm (straight/Christian/Caucasian).

6. Poor people/immigrants/people of color don’t “care” about education.

This is like paying someone with Monopoly money and then getting mad at them for not spending it. It might look, on the surface, like it has value. But it doesn’t.

If your personal experience with public education is that it does not lead, in any way, to upward social mobility, it is unreasonable to expect you to value it. If you want members of marginalized groups to place more value on education, then you need to make it more useful for them. The burden is on us, as educators, to do that. Not on the students and their families.

7. Whiteness = Normalcy

This belief is even held by those who might think of themselves as being liberal, but who use such unfortunate terms as colorblindness. “I’m color blind!” they will say, proudly. Which, on the surface, might seem like a good thing. But it isn’t, because it completely robs any non-Caucasian of their identity, suggesting that their goal should be to blend in with us instead.

Fans of colorblindness are “fine” with black people, as long as those black people straighten their hair and abandon their ghetto vernacular. 

Further evidence of this belief is seen through all of the white people who love to watch NFL football, but got their panties in a bunch when Colin Kaepernick dared to protest against police brutality when his sole purpose for existing was to entertain them. How dare he ruin their enjoyment of football by bringing something to their attention that they’d rather ignore. It’s perfectly okay for black people to occupy certain spaces, as long as they serve a purpose for white people while they are there. They second they use that space to try and benefit their own people, they are cancelled.

Sadly, many people of color actually subscribe to this notion (or more like surrender to it) which is basically a form of Stockholm Syndrome. Most likely because they have subconsciously come to the conclusion that if you cannot beat someone, you might as well join them. And you really can’t blame them for doing whatever they have to do to survive.

8. Policemen can do whatever they want because they are heroes.

I hate the word hero. A person can be heroic. They can do heroic things. A person cannot BE a hero. Because it suggests that they are defined by their title, as opposed to their beliefs or actions. And that’s not how reality works. People have free will and are therefore not bound by their titles.

This notion of cops being heroes has always been around in the United States, but it really took off after 9-11. It was a dark time and we were desperate to feel safe. So, we put our faith in the first responders. And there were plenty of fireman and cops who did great things during that event. But suddenly, after 9-11, ANYONE in a uniform was a hero. It didn’t matter what they did or why. Their title and uniform were all the qualifications they needed to be considered a hero in the eyes of the people.

Unfortunately, that shift encouraged a wave of completely new people to become cops. Most of whom should not even have access to firearms, let alone a free pass to do whatever they want, without any sort of legal accountability. They saw becoming a cop as an opportunity to fight back against anything that they interpreted as a threat to their perception of what America should be.

The second thing that contributed to the elevation of cops to hero status was the invention of smartphones. In the early days of smartphones, many people genuinely believed that having video evidence of law enforcement, brutally beating unarmed people of color would make some kind of difference. Bizarrely, it has had the opposite effect.

Imagine Dorothy reaching OZ and seeing with her own eyes that there is a guy behind the curtain with a microphone and choosing to continue believing in the wizard anyway. That’s how many right wing Americans have reacted to seeing evidence of police brutality. It only strengthened their faith in law enforcement.

Every time another person of color is murdered at the hand of police, someone will inevitably offer an excuse or explanation on their behalf. The victim had a criminal history. The victim reached for a weapon. The victim was acting suspiciously. Policemen have hard jobs. Policemen are under stress. Really ANYTHING to avoid coming to the conclusion that a police officer did a bad thing, on purpose. Because that would never happen, right? People are bound by their titles. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Really, unless we actively seek to determine the source of these misconceptions (public school curriculum, news media, fictional media etc.) so we can dismantle them, we will forever be quoting facts to a people who care not for logic, and who will cling desperately to their bias until they take their last breath.

[sign-from-god-complex]

better things are here with you

Summary: “Despite the objective truth of the statement, Logan was still not convinced that that was the whole story.

Whether it was intuition, his embarrassingly extensive knowledge of Roman’s behaviours and mannerisms or Logan simply reading far too many Agatha Christie novels, the fact still remained: Roman was lying.”

Pairing: Logince with background moxiety

Warnings: Quick mention of very minor burns.

A/N: This is my fic for Logan’s birthday!!! He’s my Favourite Boy and I’m very excited to see all the stuff surrounding him that’ll come out today.

AO3 Link

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you not have better things to be doing?" 

Logan raised an eyebrow, looking away from his novel to see Roman attempting to squirm his head into his lap—rather unsuccessfully considering that is where Logan's book currently resided.

It was not the first time Roman had demanded his attention today. He'd already burnt his hand on the oven whilst attempting to make lunch—fortunately, the burns were only superficial and he’d recovered fairly quickly—on top of both getting trapped looking for something under the couch and colliding directly into Logan in the hall, sending papers flying everywhere.

In conclusion, Roman had been particularly trying that afternoon and Logan had no clue as to why.

"Better than bothering you?" Roman replied with a wolfish grin that definitely didn’t make Logan’s heart turn over in his chest, "Never."

He seemed to have momentarily given up on his attempts to invade Logan's personal space, instead resting his head on the couch cushion beneath him, his legs thrown over the side.

It didn’t seem a very comfortable position to be in when taking into account Roman's height but then, all his roommates had a tendency to sit in rather odd positions. Whenever Logan inquired as to why they didn't simply sit like regular human beings he got some indecipherable comment about gay culture and as such he'd long since stopped asking.

He closed his book, making a mental note of his place before setting it on the coffee table in front of them.

"Was there something you required, Roman? You've been notably…” Logan searched around for a moment for the correct word, “…disruptive this evening. If I didn’t know better I would say that Remus had come to take your place—however, I’m also well aware that your brother is somehow even less subtle than you are.”

The expression that took over Roman's face seemed appropriately caught out. “Oh! Um…”

He scrambled around on the couch for a moment, trying to turn himself around so he was sitting upright. Once he’d finally settled, wide eyes and a hesitant smile on his face, Logan was almost certain there was more to this than Roman simply bothering him for amusement—something that had remained perfectly plausible until now.

“Well, you know… it gets lonely without the other two around! I’m used to hearing Patton giggling at something or Virgil… well, Virgil doesn’t really make a whole lot of noise, I suppose, but he’s always there. And now they’re not.” He scratched at the back of his neck, mostly avoiding Logan’s gaze. “‘s just weird.”

It was true that the flat had gotten a lot quieter since Virgil and Patton had left on vacation earlier that month.

It was something Virgil had been planning in secret for weeks and weeks before revealing it, knowing that Patton appreciated surprises just as much as Virgil disliked them. He’d been coordinating with Roman and Logan too, considering Roman and Patton were generally considered the closest platonic pairing amongst the four and Logan had a better sense of budgeting than Virgil could even dream of having.

Patton had been delighted, Virgil had been delighted by association—or as delighted as he allowed himself to be in front of the rest of them, anyway—and the two of them had set off, leaving the apartment to Logan and Roman.

Still, though, Logan was not convinced that that was the whole story. Whether it was intuition, his embarrassingly extensive knowledge of Roman’s behaviours and mannerisms or Logan simply reading far too many Agatha Christie novels, the fact still remained: Roman was lying.

Despite his reputation, Logan was not heartless—and when it came to Roman, even less so. If something was bothering one of his friends, Logan wanted to know what.

“And that’s all?” he questioned dubiously.

Roman nodded his head vigorously. “That’s all! Anyway, I think I should be getting back to-”

“Forgive me if I don’t entirely believe you, Roman,” Logan interrupted, stopping Roman dead in his tracks, “If you were simply lonely, why would this behaviour have developed today rather than several weeks ago when Patton and Virgil first left? Why now?”

Roman’s eyes were wide, still frozen in a position of half-risen from the couch. He bit at his bottom lip for a moment before sinking back onto the cushion, far enough away that Logan couldn’t help but notice the absence of warmth beside him.

“Well… it’s Patton and Virgil’s three year anniversary tomorrow.”

Logan blinked. “Yes, I am aware.”

Ducking his head suddenly, Roman’s whole face alighted with a blush Logan had never previously seen from him, colouring his cheeks in beautiful shades of pink and red.

Roman was not easily flustered. He was a rather extensive flirt—a fact that Logan attempted not to be frustrated by—and tended to give as good as he got, shooting back line after line and laughing when any were particularly corny.

In fact, his blushes were considerably more likely to be caused by embarrassment, yet years of living with Remus had given him a rather high tolerance when it came to being ashamed—when your brother has already been thrown out of the aquarium for loudly describing how he was going to have sex with a fish, it feels like not much else you do can compare.

Logan wasn’t going to claim that Roman’s behaviour was completely outlandish, however, it was most definitely something to take note of.

Roman mumbled something under his breath, raising his eyes to meet Logan’s with a somewhat vulnerable look.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” Logan admitted carefully.

Roman’s expression became pained for a moment.

“I just-” He cut himself off with a frustrated yell, jumping up from the couch to pace agitatedly around the room. Logan just watched—quiet and patient, wishing he knew some way to soothe him. “This wasn’t how I wanted to do this!”

“Do what, Roman?”

Roman stopped suddenly, spinning around to look at Logan in a way that he was entirely unfamiliar with. It was something soft and awed, like all the fight Roman held had been drained out of him with Logan’s words and replaced with a quiet sort of wonder, lighting Logan’s chest on fire with his gaze.

Logan was entirely uncertain about what could have caused such a reaction but he was unable to question him as Roman began to speak.

“Do you know the way you scrunch up your nose when you’re thinking? Or the way your eyes light up when we take you out stargazing and it doesn’t seem to matter that it’s a regular event because you display the same kind of astonishment every single month—as if you’re truly seeing the stars for the first time?

“I thought about telling you there, seeing the reflection of the stars in your eyes as I told you how you are worth more than galaxies to me, and how if it were in my power I would gift you every single star in that sky just to see you smile like that forever.”

Roman glided back around the coffee table, perching himself on the edge as he continued to speak.

“I thought about telling you a million times. Every moment you provided some marginally-relevant fact as if it were the most valuable knowledge you’ve ever imparted, every moment you debated me with a passion unmatched and a joy I’m oh so happy to bring, every time you rolled your eyes fondly or stared just a moment too long and blushed as you looked away and every moment that I got the sense that maybe—maybe—you could be thinking about telling me too.

“I had dreams of wooing you, Logan, because you deserve so much more than a rushed confession on the deadline of a dare and it is my own cowardice that has robbed you of that. I only hope you can forgive me.”

Roman may not be easily flustered but Logan found he most definitely was, especially when it came to attractive men confessing their love for him. He was almost certain his face had never been as red as it was at this exact moment, his lips gently parted and eyes blinking rapidly as he struggled to find something to say.

“I…” Logan trailed off almost immediately, his head abuzz with scraps of sentences with no conclusions. “Oh.”

Roman appeared regretful for a moment and Logan became so keenly aware of the fact that he never wished to cause that expression in Roman ever again. “You don’t have to return my affections, Lo. Goodness knows I don’t deser-”

“You do,” Logan cut in with a kind of assurance he hoped left no room for error or doubt, “Of course, you do. I can’t believe you’d think for even a moment that you are not worth exactly as much to me as I am to you.

“The idea of you claiming yourself unworthy as if you aren’t akin to a supernova—brightening the night sky and lighting everything around it on fire—as if you aren’t a story more interesting than any constellation could possibly hold, rarer than any star shooting across the sky…”

He felt breathless for a moment, gasping from the incredulity colouring his words.

“It’s absurd that you could think you aren’t deserving of love, Roman. Utterly absurd.”

Roman blinked a few times, seemingly processing Logan’s words, before grinning big and bright and gorgeous. There was an entire universe contained in that smile, gifted to Logan in a moment of unbridled joy that he could never be more grateful for.

“Does that mean you feel the same?” Roman asked, hope tinting his words.

Logan softened, the edges of his mouth quirking up in a way he wouldn’t have been able to repress even if he’d wanted to. “Ye-”

He barely managed to get through his confession before Roman was springing forward, pinning Logan back against the couch and pressing their lips together. It was hot and overwhelming and so very Roman, and Logan did nothing but soak it in—returning the kiss with, while not as much frenzy, just as much affection.

As they broke the kiss, returning to blinding smiles and soft gazes, Logan couldn’t help but realise that Roman had found a way into his lap after all.

And if Roman sent Virgil a selfie of Logan curled up in his arms that night, caption claiming that his end of the deal was complete and he was expecting to see a ring on Patton’s finger by the time they returned from their holiday? Well, Logan didn’t have to know that.

Companion moxiety fic / sequel here!

Tag list: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun @teadays @sandersships @camcam774 @autism-goblin @deadlyhuggles6 @romanthestarstruckqueer @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear @rainboots-are-for-snobs @sanders-and-sides @spirits-in-my-thoughts @kee-and-co @autistic-virgil @stop-it-anxiety @figurative-falsehood @jadedfantasies231 @poisonedapples @sanders-screams @another-sandersidesblog @do-not-just-see-observe @mychemicalpanicattheemo @thomassandersenthusiast @localagendergrape  @idosanderssidespromptssometimes 

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Boston Boys [Part Seventeen]

Summary: After being visited by detectives, Elsa asks for some truth from Aurelie. Chris gets unsolicited advice from John, prompting him to make a hard decision.  Pairing: Chris Evans x OFC, John Krasinski x OFC Word Count: 2370 Chapter Warnings: Discussion of criminal activity, language, pregnancy, angst. A/N: This story contains a character who lost her hearing as she got older. I do work closely and regularly with the D/deaf community (I’m a sign language interpreter), but my own hearing problems do not involve significant hearing loss. It is not my intention to offend anyone, only to bring in a character with a quality I don’t see often in other fics. If you have questions about her, feel free to ask :)

Three more parts after this. You’ve been warned. 

Boston Boys Masterlist

The next morning, Elsa’s temples were throbbing. That one glass of wine had turned into a bottle and a half, plus a lot of crying. She forced herself out of bed and through a steamy, somewhat refreshing shower, then went to the medicine cabinet for some ibuprofen while the hot water brewed for her morning tea.

She was contemplating some toast when the tea and medicine seemed to help her hangover, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. The detectives who had questioned her in the hospital after the bank robbery were standing at her apartment door. Elsa pulled her robe tighter around her and welcomed them inside.

“I’m sorry for my appearance, I’ve only been up for a little while, and I wasn’t expecting company.” She told them to make themselves comfortable, then went to her room to grab her phone off the charger. “Although, I see now that you called to tell me you’d be by. I’m sorry I missed that.”

“No apology necessary, Ms. Chapman,” Detective Mullins assured. “We don’t mean to intrude, but we have some leads in the investigation.”

“Really? It’s been a while since I heard anything, I assumed it was lost in the files or something.”

Detective Rose gave her a kind smile. “We try not to let these cases go if we don’t absolutely have to. As I’m sure you’ve heard, there was another significant bank hit recently.”

Elsa nodded, remembered the surveillance video on the news and the panic attack the images had induced. “I saw the report.”

“We at first thought that one or the other robbery had been a copycat of others which have taken place -- after all, your case is the only instance in which a hostage has been taken,” Detective Mullins explained. “But our forensics team has been analyzing a lot of evidence, and it seems that the same crew hit both banks. We have some suspects we’d like you to look at.”

“I don’t understand,” Elsa frowned. “I told you, they had masks on. I couldn’t see an inch of skin.”

The detectives encouraged her to take a look anyway. They placed four pictures in front of her -- four pictures of faces that were all too familiar. One in particular. Her face must have read shock because Detective Mullins was asking if she was all right.

Elsa swallowed and pointed to the picture of Chris. “I don’t recognize any of them for the robbery, but I’ve been dating this man for several months. We ran into each other at the grocery store and he -- I was crying, having a weak moment after the robbery. He was nice to me.”

Detective Rose jotted something down on a small notepad. “The Evans family has a longstanding history with the Boston legal system. Do you know about Chris’s father?”

Her throat was too dry to speak, so she nodded. She couldn’t tear her eyes from Chris’s mugshot.

“We believe that Chris took over for his father after Robbie Evans went to jail -- not only the barber shop, but the family crime business, as well. Between forensics and piecing some other things together, Ms. Chapman, we believe that Chris Evans and his crew are responsible for the robbery at your bank, the most recent hit, and several others throughout the city.”

The detectives seemed so sure, Elsa felt sick to her stomach. She dismissed it as nerves on top of the wine she’d had the night before, but less than a minute later, she was heaving into the kitchen sink. The men sat by, awkwardly waiting for her to compose herself.

“What do you need from me?” she asked, quietly.

They rose from the table; Mullins answered her. “Right now, only your willingness to cooperate, if and when necessary. We’ll keep you up to date as much as possible. I understand you have family in New York?”

Elsa nodded.

Detective Rose pressed his lips into a thin line. “For the time being, we need you in the state -- in the city, if possible. If you feel the need to leave for any reason, if you could let us know, we would appreciate it. For your own safety.”

Elsa nodded again and showed them to the door. Detective Mullins’s business card was still stuck under a magnet on her refrigerator, so she had their contact information if she needed it.

What she needed right now were answers. Honest, clear answers. She didn’t trust Chris to answer her, let alone tell her the truth, and she didn’t know the rest of his friends well enough to contact any of them. There had to be someone she could contact, someone close to Chris who would tell her what in the hell was really going on.

“Aurelie,” Elsa said out loud, going back to the table for her phone.

The diner in Attleboro seemed busier than normal for this time of morning. Maybe it was, maybe Aurelie only felt that way because she had been hoping for some semblance of privacy. She ordered a cup of coffee and sipped at it, waiting patiently until Elsa came through the door.

“Elsa,” she called, waving.

The blonde woman gave a small wave in return. She stopped at the counter to order a tea and some toast, then dropped to the bench across from Aurelie. “Morning. Thanks for meeting me.”

“Sure. Thanks for coming out here, especially at this hour.” Aurelie sipped her coffee.

Elsa nodded, thanking the waitress for her order. She sipped her tea and took a bite of toast. “I don’t mean to put you in the middle of any drama. I want to be very clear about that, up front. I know you have -- you have a lot going on, on your own.”

Aurelie pursed her lips. “Chris told you about the baby.”

“He did. Congratulations, by the way. I know Chris is struggling with it, but I do hope you’re happy.”

“Thank you,” Aurelie replied, giving a small smile. “Speaking of Chris, that’s what you wanted to talk about?”

“Yes,” Elsa said, sipping down more tea and taking another bite of toast. She wasn’t really hungry, but it gave her a chance to gather her thoughts. “The police came to my house last night. They were asking about the people who robbed the bank -- the ones who kidnapped me.”

Aurelie frowned. “Did they find them?”

“They think maybe they did.” Elsa took another sip of tea. “They showed me pictures, even though I didn’t think I would recognize anyone.”

She stopped to gauge Aurelie’s reaction. That woman was still sipping her coffee, looking concerned, but not overly so. Elsa continued.

“The pictures they showed me were of Chris, Scott, Seb, and Scarlett. They’ve got some kind of forensic evidence from the most recent hit, they think that it’s them.”

Rolling her eyes, Aurelie pushed her coffee mug to the side. “Elsa, you’re getting caught in the middle of some bad shit. Chris’s dad is in prison -- I know you know about that. He was in some deep stuff, but Chris isn’t. Seb, Scotty, Scar -- none of them are involved with any of it. When Robbie went to prison, Chris went legitimate, with everything. It’s the barber shop, smart investments. My brother is a good businessman. He’s a good man.”

“I don’t understand. Then why are they trying to pin this on them?”

“Those hits were big hits. They can’t let them go unsolved. Chris and them are an easy pin, because of the bad choices Robbie made. His fucking mistakes are going to haunt our family the rest of forever.” The waitress came and dropped the checks on the table; Aurelie took both of them and laid out a few bills. “Chris loves you, Elsa, and from what I can tell, I think you love him, too. Loving my brother, dating him -- it unfortunately comes with some baggage.”

Elsa took a deep breath as she processed everything Aurelie was saying. It all made sense, except for one thing. “If Chris and the others are legitimate, why do you distance yourself?”

“For their sake,” Aurelie answered, without missing a beat. “I started losing my hearing when I was fairly young, and it went slowly. For a while, hearing aids did the trick. My right ear isn’t the worst, if I can look at the person and they’re speaking clearly and looking at me. The left one was always worse than the right. Sometime in middle school, I mouthed off to Robbie, and he popped me on the side of the head. I deserved it, but my left ear dropped out almost completely after that. A year or so later, I got the cochlear. Robbie always blamed himself for that, but it wasn’t his fault. His daughters think that when everything went down, I turned Robbie in out of spite or revenge. They stopped talking to me, my mother stopped speaking to me. Scotty was always on the fence. So, for their sake, to make things easier, I stayed away. I stay away.”

Elsa nodded and finished her tea. It made sense. It all made sense. It was nothing she ever wanted to be a part of, but here she was. She loved Chris. He had stood her up, but that was something she hoped they could work through.

“I’ve got to get home and get some sleep,” Aurelie sighed, pushing out of the booth. “Give Chris the benefit of the doubt, Elsa. He deserves it.”

Elsa nodded and waved as Aurelie pulled on a jacket and left the diner. She finished her toast, had another cup of tea, and then went home to get some rest. She thought about calling Chris, but decided to wait it out. He would talk to her when he was ready, she hoped.

After a long night of no sleep, Chris was finally heading home. He had let Scotty know that he and Seb weren’t going to be in until the afternoon, so at least he could catch a few hours of sleep before he needed to go to the shop.

He stopped at the corner store for a small coffee, just to keep him from sleeping all day. When he spotted John Krasinski already at the coffee station, he sighed. He wasn’t in the mood for any bullshit this morning.

“Morning,” John greeted.

“Morning,” Chris returned, selecting a cup from the stack and choosing his brew. He pushed the button on the machine to fill the cup, waiting for John to say something else. But, the other man said nothing, only finished doctoring his own coffee and went to the register to pay.

Chris frowned. He wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation, but he had expected more than a one-word greeting to be exchanged between the two of them. He secured the lid on his coffee, paid, and hurried out of the corner store.

“John!” he called to the other man, jogging to catch up with him down the sidewalk. The other man stopped and turned but didn’t look any more keen on the idea of speaking to Chris than Chris had been to speak with John only a few minutes ago. “Hey, have you talked to Aurelie?”

“Oh, you mean since you crashed her whole world last night?” John snorted. “Yeah. She’s -- she’s not fine, but she’s safe. How could you keep that from her? Do you have any idea how much she trusted you?”

Chris licked his lips and let out a deep breath. “I know. I know she did, and I know we may never get that back. I’m stuck, man. I don’t know what’s going on in my life and now all this shit is coming to light. I don’t want Aurelie to get caught in the middle of me working my shit out.”

John shook his head and scoffed. “It’s too late for that. Don’t you get it? She got caught in the middle of your shit the moment you decided to lie for your father about how her father died. She’s your sister, Chris. Blood, step, whatever. She looks at you as her brother -- her only brother. Her mother won’t even talk to her, but she always had you. Now she doesn’t even have that.”

Shaking his head, Chris held both hands up before letting his free hand slap back down against his leg. “I don’t know what to say to that. You’re right, she’s always been in the middle of it. When she decided to distance, I should have left her alone, too. I had to come clean, I guess.”

“Right,” John said, looking down at his coffee before looking back to Chris. “Speaking of coming clean, you know where she was up until about ten minutes ago? As much as she hates you and maybe never wants to see you again, she was at the diner in Attleboro with Elsa. She’s lying for you so that Elsa doesn’t believe what the cops told her about you and the rest of them being responsible for the bank hits and the kidnapping. Aurelie is still protecting you, as hurt and angry as she is.”

“That’s all I wanted,” Chris sighed, shaking his head, “for Aurelie to be protected. Guess I ruined that. Now she won’t speak to me and she’s got no one. And that’s on me.”

John tilted his head side to side. “You’re partially right. She won’t speak to you, and you’re the one who did that. But she does have someone -- she has me. I’m gonna protect her, I’m gonna take care of her. And our baby.” Shrugging, he took a drink of his coffee. “Family feud bullshit aside -- I’m telling you this man to man. Get your shit together, Chris, before it ruins anyone else.”

John took off towards his bar then, leaving Chris to walk the long mile home. Chris let what John had said sink in; the other man was right, of course. There were a lot of things Chris had messed up recently. The ripple effect of his decisions and actions was only beginning to show.

Chris decided then and there, he had to stop this before it went any further.

AlloftheThings: @captain-s-rogers​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​​​​​​​​ @hurricanerin​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @horsesandbandsforlife​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @captain-rogers-beard​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @shynara51​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @sea040561​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @pinknerdpanda​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xtina2191​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jackryanplz​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @beakami​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @heartsaved​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Boston Boys:  @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @becs-bunker​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @shield-agent78​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @patzammit​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @crazyandanonymous4u​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @ntlmundy​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jennmurawski13​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @okay-maybe-i-like-marvel-too​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[xsecretblastsx]

1x18 Much I do about nothing

So, here it is the final recap for S1. Once again this one took way too long, but long story short I have limited access to a laptop I’m basically only able to do this on mobile, which is not the best.

I normally do the recaps in one sitting, which takes me quite a while and it’s hard for me to find the time to do it. So going forward I’m going to try to do it a bit differently and watch the epsiode in parts, I’m hoping that will help to have the recaps out there faster.

Anyway, here’s the recap.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode

Serena calling after Dan all night... he isnt’t worthy of that but she loves him so there’s that

Rufus and Lily finally got their sexy time. Too bad is the morning of Lily’s wedding. Talk about akward.

This is one of my fave scenes of Chuck and Blair, there’s cuteness, there’s flirty banter and feisty Blair, what’s not to love.

I still want to know the story about him not removing that scarf. Just for entertaining purposes.

Nate and his dad running is a nice little call back to the early episodes of S1, which feels like ages ago.

And here we are with Dan and Georgina and Serena finally exposing her as a manipulative evil mastermind

Thanks Serena for reminding that Lily & Rufus can’t coexist with Dan and Serena 😪

That scene between Bart and Lily is actually good, he’s obviously making a point and letting her know she must make a choice, the good old days when Bart was actually a character and not a cartoon villian.

I remember thinking on my first watch while Dan and Blair are scheming, the show should make them snarky friends that would be fun. 😪

Seriously Dan and ‘Sarah’ have known each other for how long and they already have “their spot” guys are the worst

“Humphrey you’re a born liar” you don’t even know the half of it Blair

As much as I love Blair and this iconic line “haven’t you heard, I’m the crazy bitch around here” I still can’t believe that aftet plotting the whole night with Chuck their plan was just ratting her out to her parents.

Sorry Jenny but that dress Vanessa is wearing is awful. Actually I’m not a fan of Blair’s dress either. Anyway everything is a tad better with ‘Time to pretend’ playing in the background, overplayed as it was I still love it.

Also Blair and Chuck again with the flirty bantering, reminiscing a bit about that first time and Chuck getting kicked. Quality content all around.

I don’t know about Serena but luckily for Blair twenty years in the future she won’t be on her fourth husband

I always hated that “I didn’t sleep with Georgina, but I may as well have” like first of all what does that even mean. Second it’s so frustating because it feels like the show went through great lengths to keep Dan as the “good guy” on this particular situation, and that wasn’t fair to Serena.

Even though I know this is only the end of S1 and there’s more to come I’ll forever be bitter about Rufus and Lily not being together. I do like the bittersweet note of this particular moment though.

Rufly aside I have such a soft spot for the Van der Basses. Sure it was far from perfect but still.

That earlier bit between Nate and Chuck with the captain pointing out that whoever the girl they’re fighting about ain’t worth it and Chuck agreeing and Nate saying that’s the problem may seem like another of Chuck douchbag smarmy moments, but I actually like how it sort of makes sense later in the episode, because is only when Chuck admits the truth to Nate about how he felt about Blair, that Nate not only finally listens to him about the captain, but is also willing to have his friend back.

Poor Nate, always being let down by his father, at least he got to make his point, even if he had to punch his dad (again) to do it.

Even though Blair is on full bitch mode towards Vanessa, she ain’t actually wrong about Nate: endless family drama and never getting over Serena.

Nate and Chuck’s friendship isn’t as larger than life as Blair and Serenas, but is one I still love, and finally is back on. Also Nate’s amused and surprised smile about Chuck’s feelings for Blair is priceless. Chuck’s reaction too, how con someone be smug and shy at the same time?

Dan makes me want to scream like what bullshit is thid “i got seduced by a girl who was pretending to someone else and you knew” so somehow that’s Serenad fault? “I am the most understanding person in the world” Excuse me!!! In what universe, like honestly Dan just shut up.

The fact that this show actually has Serena saying “we are exactly we were at the Bass brunch when we started dating I wasn’t the person you thought I was and you can’t forgive that” and then Dan just sidetracks and claims a lot has happen... and we’re only on season one

Beside the fact that I love the scene of Chuck’s speech while he’s looking at Blair, this line is so spot on “in the face of true love you don’t give up, even if the object of your affection is begging you to” the whole speech is basically the abreviated version of the Chuck and Blair story.

Serena’s is in her own cloud of missery and yet she still makes a face when she sees Chuck and Blair are kissing 😂

Chuck Bass is a romantic, and that’s all that matters 😉.

As much as I’m not sad about Dan and Serena breaking up, it is kind of sad watching them have a last dance with ‘the ice’s getting thinner” playing in the background (such a good song btw)

I had honestly forgot about Jenny for a bit here.

I feel so robbed because they just skip a week and we didn’t got to see any of it, like Chuck being a complete gentlemen? C’mon! Anyway Blair’s traveling outfit is almos customy, nevermind I still love it, it also helps how fears about helicopters aside, she’s excited she’s about the Tuscany trip,

I remember the first time I was like so that’s the end of Nate and Vanessa? How swift. Not that I mind because that scene between Nate and Serena was so promising about summer and the Hamptons... but that’s a rant for S2

The way Bart can’t help but messing up Chuck’s head, even if he doesn’t try to, though whith Bart one never knows. Fun fact: the first time I watched this episode when Chuck goes after Amelia I literally screamed to the screen: “NO!!!’ You idiot”.

So that’s a wrap on Season 1! It was such a fun ride and I’m going to miss it. This last episode was really packed, it also felt quite long for some reason. It also ends with every major ship on the outs, which sucks a bit but it’s also a great set up for season 2.

First there’s Dan and Serena, who call it quits because for the last few episodes their relationship has been a constance struggle of secret and lies. One could make the point that their relationship was always dishonest by Dan’s secret identity as gossip girl, god knows I’ve been ranting about that the whole season particularly the last episode, because in principle is very hypocrital of Dan to be so mad about Serena’s lies when he’s keeping the biggest secret of all. But since she doesn’t know this the whole discussion is centered about her mistakes... Serena makes the very valid (and true) point that Dan can’t forgive her for not being who he thought she was, and this is something that’s going to keep being an issue for them the whole show, but for this particular break up the other big issue is lack of trust

Trust is the key point in a relationship and how can Dan trust Serena if she lies and hides stuff, they can’t have a relationship that way, even if she has come clean about her past who’s not to say if they come across another issue Serena will be honest this time and not hide and try to handle it on her own, truth is she most likely will, (she does act this way in future seasons) but what I would like to point out is that as much as Dan can’t trust her now, Serena actually never trusted him, not in the sense that he would spill her secrets but rather that she didn’t trust him not to judge her and she also didn’t trust that he would still love her if he knew everything about her. And in her mind he proves her right that’s why she points out they’re having the same argument they had at the Bass brunch and even so (sadly) Serena still wants to work through this and Dan is the one that says no, let’s break up. I don’t disagree with him is better for them to be separated but I ‘m petty and so I kind of hate he’s the one in his high horse breaking up with her, when he almost cheated on her with Georgina and even has the nerve to be like “i only did that because you cheated on me and you’re a liar and you let me get involved with a psycho” and it’s just hell no Dan! First of all no one force you to do anything, and also how long did he knew this girl Sarah and they already have “their spot” like that’s on you, and I’m not even mentioning how this argument of the psycho pretty much destroys itself when one remember he’s gossip girl so... who’s the most twisted manipulative one there. I would have issues with Dan and Serena even if he wasn’t Gossip Gilr, but the fact that he is... seriously he’s one devious guy.

Also not a fan of the show going out of their way to keep Dan’s nice guy image, they keep teasing his night with Georgina and then they decide to be light, well he didn’t actually slept with her, the intention was there, but he didn’t because he’s good Dan and sex is meaningful for him, so it’s a big deal for him, but still he was nice and faithful. Sorry but no, have him cheat, everyone else in this show makes questionable decisions and surely the UES changes Dan, so I would like for the show to embrace, they eventualy show it, but they had the space to start to show it much earlier, also just for the record sex with Dan was meaningful for Serena, it wasn’t something she had really experienced before, and it was pointed out earlier in the season, so sex it’s not only meaningful for Dan.

Other two relationships have a quick death this episode: Rufly & Nate and Vanessa. The later gets set aside almost like and afterthought which was dissapointing because it was like why bother then in the first place? Also I actually like their interactions and Vanessa while still judgemental makes and effort for Nate to be more understanding and in turn allows her to show different sides of her character and that’s nice. Then we have that scene between Nate and serena and it’s iluminatinhg, because at list at this point it looke like the show wanted to set something up there and it’s like finally! let’s unravel this (and then...😪 but that’s a rant for the next recap). Rufly on the other hand I like how it went, it felt natural and yet sad because basically they don’t take their chance because they feel that boat sailed a long time ago, it’s been 20 years, and they could have stolen moments, but more than that is just not possible, doesn’t seem like it could work at this stage of their lifes, and while it’s exciting to take the plunge I totally get why they didn’t here.

Finally there’s Chuck and Blair, and me screaming into infinity. Don’t get me wrong I love this episode and even when I still was like No Chuck you idiot! In some ways it needed to happen. Or at least some version of it, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What I love about this episode is all their flirty banter, their chemistry shines through every single scene they have, and they truly make me think of much ado about nothing, i like the back and forth and the obvious subtext of how much they truly like each other, and one can also tell how this is exciting for them, these thing between it’s a first for both of them for him it’s the first time he wanted more from a girl, he yearns for her in a way he never has feel before, he feels, he’s in love, and to her is quite a heady experience to be so openly wanted by someone, she doesn’t even have to try, to force it like she did Nate whose eyes were always following her best friend, Chuck’s eyes follow her and no else. For a minute there they take the plunge, armed with having his best friend back and getting a family Chuck’s goes for it via a best man speech and an apology. He’s a romantic at heart and he wants her to know, and she can’t resist it and goes for it to.

We’re robbed from that week they’re together after that night and is such a shame because while I feel internally each of them have acknowledged they’re in love with each other, there’s a difference between falling in love with someone and actually loving someone, and I feel this is the time that while they obviously don’t speak about it, I don’t even think they fully realized then but they truly fell for each other to the point where it was never the same again. It’s a scary thought, and it’s Bart who brings those fears to the front of Chuck’s mind, the guy is scared to death, is not only because the change of going from womanizing playboy to boyfriend seems monumental for a guy like him but more importantly Chuck’s someone who believes the worst of himself, and it wasn’t a big deal for him, because to eyes of the person whose opinion matters the most to him he’s alreayd a failure and that’s not got to change, but Blair is his second thoughest critic, what she thinks matters and unlike Bart she actually believes he has it in him, to be whatever he wants to and Bart’s words make him think of the expectations Blair may have of him now, and the thought of proving her wrong, he doesn’t want her to see that, and sure he’s going to fail and she’ll hate him for it... and that would be it. So better to end it now, on his terms while he’s the one in control of the situation and put a stop to it.

Bottom line he ain’t ready for it at all, he actually won’t be for a long time, and because of this is going to take Blair a lot of time too to be ready for it. Is what I like about Chuck’s best man speech at first glance is his way to tell Blair he feels something for her and he wants her to give him, them the chance to be something. It’s a plight at heart. It also works perfectly as a summary of what their relationship will be for a while. That no matter what, they love each other, theirs is true love and even if it’s hard almost impossible at times, they can’t give up, and that when one of them wants to throw the towel there’s the other one to remind them of why is worth it in the end.

The game between them is really about to start, here we go S2.

Random bits I’ve noticed:

Chuck lightly squeezing his dad’s arm when Lily’s almost at the end of the altar warmed my heart.