#anyways giving the cramps to donnie

[keebwee]

raaghdshhfhdskjldsggdfgasdfSDFdsfdsf

[itzzaira]

Hey! This is TMNT: Children of the Sky Mikey and Leo from Cabin 16 with a survey: who's the most artistic member of your AU/iteration's family?

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

Mikey smiled brightly. None of his brothers were around right now- Michelangelo and Leo had been driving Raphael insane while Donnie and Raph slept. He had no idea where Donatello had gone-

And Mikey had been the first person to hear they would be holding a craft fair.

A.

Craft.

Fair.

He had only woken up a couple days ago and this was the absolute best thing he could wake up to!! Well, other than Leo being alive- that had been a tad bit nicer.

Right now, he was looking at this mini-version of himself and his brothers- so tiny!! So adorable! And they looked so cool!!! -and the box turtle couldn't help but notice that none of his counterparts had stickers. Ohhh he should make stickers during the fair and give them to all versions of himself! Because he was nice like that.

"Hey! We're taking a survey! Who's your most artistic family member?"

"Come on, there's gotta be other artistic Leo's right?"

Well. If the destruction Leo could cause in a kitchen counted, consider him the biggest artist of all. But alas.

Mikey hated to disappoint this tiny version of his brother, but not his fault Leo just didn't have it. He smiled sweetly, holding out his hand. "Well-"

-only for the limb to immediately cramp up, muscle freezing and spasming, his fingers getting stuck in that position and ow-

"Ow!" He hissed, immediately pulling his back to squeeze it with his (thankfully pain-free) other hand. He saw the concerned expressions on the other turtles, but smiled anyway. "I'm fine, this is fine-"

Was it?

This was new.

Granted, the mystic scars were new altogether, and they had ached, that was true. But the random pain as soon as he moved his hand was new.

He tried to flex his fingers- nope, fingers didn't respond.

He tried to move his arm- nuh-uh, hurt, ow ow ow-

He couldn't- his hand was stuck.

Slowly, the pain faded away. Mikey opened his eyes that he had apparently closed, then slowly, carefully, let go of his arm. It still tingled, but it didn't hurt anymore. That was... odd.

"Are you okay?" The other Mikey asked again, relaxing and smiling again once they saw the pain fading away- this time, however, the box turtle didn't smile. He looked confused.

Surely, if something was wrong with his hands, Donnie would have found it by now?

Like, okay, he thought, as he held his arm a bit closer to his face. He couldn't move his fingers still. The muscles were cramped, and it bothered him, and his hands were hard to use sometimes, that is true- but he was still the artist of the family! That was his thing! Even if his hands hurt, and they cramped up, and wouldn't... move...

No!

Okay, sure, he hadn't exactly drawn ever since he woke up from his coma, but talent doesn't just disappear!

Who needs hands to draw anyway?! Mikey didn't! He just struggled to hold stuff, dropped items all the time and couldn't touch anyone other then his brothers or else it hurt! That wouldn’t stop...

...

A look of horror appeared on his face as the realization sunk in.

You need working hands to make art.

Currently, Mikey's hands shook so much that he hadn't even been able to hold his own cup so he could have a drink. It had taken him three tries back home before he had been able to grab a spoon to eat ice cream, only to immediately drop it afterward. He didn't even want to imagine the chaos of holding paints would cause.

He... wouldn’t be able to draw anymore? The one thing he was good at? He wouldn’t be able to do anything anymore?!

As if failing to open the portal- twice- wasn't enough! He fails to open a portal, he had help from Donnie and Raph and still couldn't keep it open. He isn't smart, he's not quiet, he's definitely not the best ninja and most certainly wasn't the leader-

He cooked. He made art. That was the one thing he was good for.

Mikey's breath hitched. In cold horror, he stared at his bandaged hands.

His shaking, ugly, useless hands.

What good was he for if he couldn't make art?

Well. The answer was simple. He wasn't. Just lime how he couldn't protect Leo, or Raph, or Donnie- not to mention, his stupid hands caused this pain to his family.

His hands were the reason Michelangelo and Donatello had burnwounds.

His hands were the reason Leonardo cracked his shell open getting thrown against a wall.

His hands were the reason the Purple Dragons were even able to hurt them so bad.

His hands were the reason they lost Raph and caused him to go savage-

His hands were the reason Leo was lost.

His ears rang.

Ever since he was little 'But at least I can do art' he had told himself. 'I may not be smart, or strong, but I can cook. I can make art. That's my talent. No one else's. Mine.'

...But it wasn't his talent anymore, was it?

"Mikey?" He snapped out of it when the other Leo called his name- ohh the kids looked terrified. Crap. Oh no. "Are you okay?"

"Raph." He answered quickly, the haunted look on his face disappearing, trying to look happy again as he lowered his arms, unable to meet their gaze. "Uhm- not my Raph. Raphael. The angry box turtle with a crack in his carapace. He's the most artistic family member." Because Mikey sure as heck wasn't. Not anymore.

"Is something-"

"I gotta go." He didn't want to scare these kids any more than he already had, so Mikey smiled as brightly as he could manage, turned around, heart pounding as he tried to run- but stumbled instead, as fast as he could, away from there.

He shouldn't bring his stupid hands and ruin the craft fair.

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

[angelmichelangelo]

if you are still taking requests ,, i am once again requesting rise disaster twins. IM SORRY OKAY they are the sillies of all and i am obsessed with how you write them and their dynamic. mayhaps something goofy and fluffy of your choosing. also a good time for me to say that across all of your tmnt fics, i adore how well you write authentic sibling relationships. it is so satisfyingly accurate and a big reason as to why youre one of my fave fic authors :)))))) anyways enjoy the rest of your vaycay while you can !!!!

AHH TYSM FOR SUCH KIND WORDS ;__; appreciate it, pal! here are some of the sillies :3

read on ao3!

x

“There’s a ghost in the bathroom.”

Leo says it as he torpedoes into Donnie’s room, launching himself onto his bed at full speed to sprawl across his legs, making the other turtle click in annoyance at him as he tries to free himself from the heavyweight now draped across his lower limbs.

“No there isn’t,” Donnie hisses, setting his iPad down carefully on his side table. “Now get off of me.”

Leo rolls onto his shell, starfishing out his arms and legs to distribute his weight further as Don attempts to buck him off. “Nope.” He says, entirely serious, popping the p and everything. “There is. I saw it. You gotta check it out with me.”

Donnie scoffs (a real one this time) and rolls his eyes hard enough to leave some strain there in his skull. “Was it not the boiler whistling again? I told you it was gonna do that.”

Leo shakes his head. “Nuh uh. I know what the boiler sounds like, Don, I harmonize with it every morning. In perfect pitch and everything.”

Donnie’s brow swoops low over his eyes. “Yeah. I know.” He sighs, and tries again to roll his brother off his body but fails. “Ugh. Fine. I’ll come check out your stupid ghost.”

Leo grins a wicked smile and props himself up onto his elbows, seemingly about to release him before he pauses and shoots his brother a steady glance.

“I’d be careful about calling it stupid,” he says, still entirely serious about the whole thing. “That shit will haunt you for life.”

Donnie deadpans him and gives him a hard enough shove to move him to the edge of the bed. “Just go.”

There isn’t a ghost in the bathroom. Not that Donnie can notice anyway.

He inspects the room with a keen eye, because even if he does veer on the whole non believer stuff he hates being wrong about anything, especially in front of Leo — so full ghost hunter mode it is.

“I think it’s just the old pipes,” Donnie concludes after Leo launches into a detailed explanation as to what he’d heard in here moments ago. “They just rattle a bit and make noise.”

Leo snorts a laugh. “Like dad.”

Donnie doesn’t laugh, but does indeed agree. “Like dad.”

Leo bobs his head, looks at himself in the mirror and then says,

“Awesome. No ghost. Come get waffle cone with me to celebrate?”

To that, Donnie tips his head back, all the way without it falling clean off his shoulders and makes a very ghostly sounding groan.

“What?” Leo says with a laugh, ribbing him gently with an elbow in his side.

Donnie’s head snaps upwards, maybe a little too fast on the account of the stars that swirl about in his head before he can take a breath, and he’s narrowing his eyes into sharp slits, directed right at him.

“You did this to get me to go get waffle cone with you?”

Leo reaches over and in the condensation of the mirror does a little finger drawing of Donnie, large eyebrows of course exaggerated with a little speech bubble that reads wehhh next to him with a frowny face.

“Can’t a hermano choose to hang with his hermano?” He says once he’s down, beaming proudly at it before looking back to see if Donnie was watching at all.

“Ugh.” Donnie responds dryly. “You don’t have to… fabricate the paranormal laws to get me to hang out, Nardo.” And suddenly the bathroom feels a little cramped for the pair of them.

Leo’s face softens and Donnie feels a swell of guilt suddenly rise up from his gut.

“Er, yeah I do, dude,” Leo says with a breathy laugh. “The other day when we went to the skate park?”

Donnie folds his arms over his chest defensively. “Yeah? I went with you, didn’t I?”

Leo nods. “Yeah, only after I’d argued with you about how you should put rocket launchers on my wheels, and you said you’d come with me to make sure I hadn’t.”

Donnie bristles. “That… was entirely practical.”

“Or the other time,” Leo continues. “When we went to Run of the Mill for lunch and I told you I could finish that entire sundae in five minutes.”

“And you didn’t. You were nearly sick, Hueso threw you out by the scruff of your shell.”

Leo chuckles. “Yes but you still came with me. It worked, didn’t it?”

Donnie feels his whole body sag, arms hanging limp at his sides, deflated like a giant, soggy balloon.

“Leo…” he says, feeling small. “I… you didn’t have to—”

“Dude!” Leo is quick to interject whatever it is he was planning on saying by looping his arms around his neck and pulling him in tight. “Do not start on the sorry crap right now or I’m bringing that sundae up again, I don’t care that I ate and digested it a week ago, it’s coming up.”

Donnie untangles himself from his twin’s iron bar hold and frowns at him. “But you shouldn’t have to find excuses for me to hang out with you.” He says.

Leo shakes his head, like everything was easy, breezy, Leo-squeezy.

“Don-Tron, I know it’s not easy for you, bro. The whole socializing thing? I got you, man. S’what I’m here for.” A playful beat. “Besides being the better looking one.”

Donnie scowls at him in full force. “I disagree.”

Leo jabs a thumb to little mirror drawing Donnie that was starting to drip across the glass.

“He doesn’t,” he says. “Waffle cone? You and I?”

Donnie huffs, though in truth, he does want waffle cone. And he does want to hang out with his brother.

“You and I,” he says. “And the ghost?”

Leo grins, all teeth and hooks Donnie in close with his arm as they exit the bathroom together.

“Yup. Only the best, Dee.”

[thedawningofthehour]

Galois Room Post!

I made Gale's room in the Sims! It took a ridiculous amount of time for such a tiny room. Overall I'm pretty happy with how it turned out-it's faithful to what I was picturing, and the places it's not can be blamed more on the limitations of the Sims 4. One thing I struggled with was the size. It's supposed to be a pretty small room, most of the living areas in Draxum's house are, but I definitely had trouble placing everything I wanted in there. Sizing it up 1x1 made it feel too big though. (Sims 5, please let us build walls on half or quarter tiles, I'm BEGGING you) In the end I couldn't fit in a real bookshelf, which was my only real gripe, but he still has plenty of space for books. (plus Draxum has so many bookshelves, he can offload some if he gets too cramped)

I wanted to have it mostly Galois but not 100% Galois. He's a teenager and wants to decorate his bedroom to the nines because that's what teenagers do, but I also wanted to keep in mind that this furniture was not bought for him and was mostly left over from its last occupant/bought when Draxum viewed Donnie as his new science slave and not his son.

Without further ado, here we go!

It's...yeah, it's white. Nothing else really looked good. It was Bella's room first and Draxum didn't bother to repaint. She probably had this place papered with posters and cringey 90's wall hangings when she lived here. In retrospect pale purple walls were a trend in the 90's, but whatever it's done now.

(I also forgot to paint the walls originally so I might have just gotten used to the white)

Also just imagine the ceilings are a little lower, the wall height needed to be on medium for the rest of Draxum's house to work and due to how the Sims 4 works I couldn't give just Gale's room shorter walls. The top of the cabinet should be touching the ceiling.

Other side! Gave him some nice plants, he's got some hanging ones around his bed and computer area. :) I'm not sure how I feel about the rug but I was feeling a circular rug and the colors worked. Left door is to the bathroom.

Huginn and Muninn 100% made that knitted turtle for him.

Did I give him one of those fairy light canopies every movie and sitcom character had in the 2000's? Yes. Yes I did. Look, I wasn't planning on it, but I saw it in the lighting section and I had to give it to him. I know I'm terrible to him but he is my baby and I will spoil him.

Better view of the bed. (the canopy kept fading from existence) Got the salt lamp and the lantern Cass gave him, I'm so happy I found those. I'm probably the least happy here, he needs more stuff on his shelves and more pictures under them. There's so many goddamn pictures in this room but HE IS A TEENAGED BOY and this is how they express themselves.

Also the clutter under the bed. In-fic that platform is actually storage space, so it works. Please enjoy how he's hiding his fashion magazines behind the pillow.

His little computer corner! The Draxum family stays pretty unplugged when they're not at work, (Draxum would like them to be anyway) but Gale's allowed to have all the tech he wants in his bedroom as long as it stays in this corner.

Swing back again and-

Just pretend that the vampire doll is Atomic Lass, okay?

So that bookcase thing. Is NOT a bookcase. It is a thing of evil. It drove me absolutely nuts because I wanted to fill those shelves in with clutter. Those are not snap points. But the bookcase has snap points. So I couldn't alt-move stuff there or use 9-0 keys because they'd just snap to the bottom there. So now they just look empty and stupid while he has books on the floor.

But other than that, I like this corner. He's got some binders for schoolwork in the cubby there, got some artsy stuff for relaxing and his box of vinyl records with no record player. (Draxum probably has a record player somewhere) It looks like how an actual teenager would organize his shit. I'm not sure how I feel about him leaving a stack of books on the floor, but overall Gale is a very good book owner so I'm sure he's careful.

He doesn't get a window so I gave him a nice picture with curtains so he can pretend.

On a side note, I absolutely fucking hate the curtains in this game, that was the only set that looked good and didn't cover up the whole damn picture AND THEY DIDN'T COME IN PURPLE. Really, there's such a lack of purple in this room. Blame the color swatches, because I tried. God I miss Create-A-Style.

Again, please use your imagination and imagine the bulletin board filled with pictures of him with Cass or Pax and loving notes from the goyles. There's also a watch on his dresser-before he recreated his tech gauntlet, Draxum gave him a really nice watch to wear. He doesn't wear it anymore because having his gauntlet on hand is a major source of comfort, but he still loves the watch. I also realize this looks more like a girl's bedroom, but to be fair Donnie is very gender and Galois inherited that from him.

(I was SO tempted to put that box of kleenex behind his computer)

Close-up of the clutter in his corner. I know Donnie's canonically not into geology, but this game really wants you to use rocks as decor. Also purple.

I don't know what that orb thing is supposed to be. Maybe like a mini version of the orb Draxum was looking into during the Goyles episode? That sounds like something a Yokai teenager would have in their room.

I wanted to give him a stereo too but my game glitched out and wouldn't place any, so I put a mixtape there in honor of that. We'll say Cass made it for him.

I did make his bathroom too, but it's not the most interesting because

Yeah, pretty small.

God, doors in this game look so silly when they're up against a wall.

It was looking way too white so I gave him the fishies and the plants for a splash of green. That sink is also SO not the style I was going for but everything else was clashing with the other counter. We can say this bathroom was remodeled at some point when vessel sinks were in fashion. I don't know why because no one was living here when they were. (Huginn and Muninn probably did it as a weekend project just for fun) I feel like he needs a rug and a big piece of art on the opposite wall, now that I'm looking at it.

I definitely went overboard with the bathroom clutter. I was just very excited that I was able to squeeze in a whole counter just for decoration. Seriously, I just wanted to add in that eyebrow pencil so he could draw on his eyebrows, then that evolved into the blush palette and the makeup brushes and the lotions and the nail stuff. He doesn't even fucking wear blush.

He did make his electric toothbrush, though Draxum makes him keep a backup because he's skeptical about how that works.

And that's the build! I'm also building the rest of Draxum's house, but it's taking a while due to the absolute utter ridiculousness of the layout. (I mean, it's my own fault, I'm the one that chose this layout)(and also because I need to use the curved wall tool for his mushroom house, and by god curved walls are impossible to work with) Decorating should be quicker though, the only place with this level of detail should be the lab and maybe the greenery. I'll probably revise his room a little, maybe paint his walls an actual color. I also want to do something more with the cactus he has on his counter. Maybe I'll download some more CC so I can give him purple curtains.

I also have no idea if this is actually playable. Probably not, I feel like a Sim wouldn't be able to figure out the platform bed thing. But whatever, I didn't make this to actually play in.

[lazypanartist]

heyo!! I really like your works your doing a great job!! I was wondering if I could request either headcannons or a longer one shot of Donnie x reader, period headcanons, if you're comfortable with that. (I'm going through mine right now and I hate it. I wish to dissipate into the void) please and thank. Have a marvelous day, drink water and wear your seatbelt!!! 🤗

Ohh, you poor thing 🥲 Mine JUST finished; I know your pain. Please don't dissipate into the void; at least stay long enough to read what you have suggested!

Period Headcanons

Donnie x Reader

For all y'all fem-born peeps who've had to suffer through Satan's Waterfall; this one's for you

Notes: I give actual suggestions throughout; even though I experience periods, I did some supplemental research bc that's a Donnie thing to do

-----

Donnie's a man of science

As soon as you tell him that you're on your period, he's helping you out with products from his extensive research!

I personally think that none of the boys are uncomfortable around periods; their only human friend is a chick, and practically a sister to 'em

Anyways

You get craving for chocolate?

He's bringing you dark choco and bananas

(Potassium is good for that time of the month!)

If you can't have bananas, there are a TON of other things with Vitamin K that he can offer to you..

..alongside a multi-minute rambling session about how they help you, etcetera

Potassium helps with cramps and bloating; he wants to make you as comfortable as possible!

Speaking of which, he makes sure you have a heating pad

By having a little corner for you in his lab ☺️

Nest of blankets and pillows so you can recline, snacks and water within arms reach, right next to an outlet for your heating pad and charging cords

Makes sure you're getting enough iron, water, and Vitamin E

Iron for the blood loss bc he really doesn't want you anemic from a normal bodily function, water because losing blood leads to dehydration, and studies have shown that Vitamin E can help to shorten the duration of the bleeding!

Speaking of which,

Regardless of how comfortable he's working to make you feel, he turns it into an experiment (lmao)

"Data collection calms me down" -Donnie, RotTMNT Movie

He's worried about you and your health 24/7

Realistically, he knows your fine. It's statistically unlikely that you'll come to any actual harm through your period

But he still dotes on you the entire time you're feeling cra(m)py

(If you get violently ill like I used to, he'll try and recommend various things to easy your morning sickness. Ask your doctor if birth control may be right for you)

-----

All I got rn. Hope you feel better bby ^-^

Reqs open, love y'all

[critter-core]

The Turtle Express AU

Major Bullet Points:

Inspired off of, and approved by this person!

Sort of a retelling, the shredder had happened, but not krang

The turtles lost their sewer home because of all the destruction

They set out to find a new home

They find some old railroad tracks that go all around NYC

Donnie says he can fix it, and so he does

Eventually, they add cars to turn the train into a moving base

Donnie upgrades the train over time, more and more

HALF NOTE: gonna be honest, I'd want this to be after the movie, just for the sake of "It takes place after the last moment of the rise canon", but I feel like the Krang would steal the spotlight of the whole premise for the au... I dunno. Not everything needs to be about the Krang ig, but still, meh.

Quick Summary:

So yeah, an AU where the turtles (+ Splinter) now live on a moving train base after losing their sewer home. They mostly drive around for fun, but they can also use the train to spot mutants and/or travel to the crime scene faster than before. They start out with only a train engine and a single car. It’s definitely cramped. But once Donnie upgrades the train enough to be functioning normally, the crew sets on their own personal missions to find abandoned or unused cars that Donnie can fix up and turn into new rooms. 

Eventually, Splinter and the four turtles have their own room, there’s a kitchen, a living room, a training room, and a storage room. So that’s 10 pieces total. I’m not gonna give the train more than 25 cars at complete max, and we’re at 9 right now, so I think I’m happy with this current state. I think Donnie would also add quality-of-life updates.

He’d probably add a way for the train to have ‘arms’ that can fold outward from the sides, either to switch rails easier, or to avoid a collision in the situation that their train is running in the wrong direction of the tracks. Though he’d likely only use these for short periods of time, and would prefer to mostly drive the train normally, both because of the weight, and because spider trains aren’t NORMAL.

Anyway, this is definitely turning into a fic and I’m super excited!

Fanfic Link:

Doesn't exist yet, but it will, and I'll update this.

[remmushound]

Beyond the Bay Chapter 10: Whats up with Yoshi?

Summary: While Raphael tries to calm down with the help of Splinter, Donnie has a talk with Leonardo about Yoshi.

Tags: @selfindulgenz @digitl-art-monstr @ilo-artistry @brightlotusmoon @rottmnt-addict

Leonardo stood up just as suddenly as Raphael had, leaving his plate at the table as he stormed out of the kitchen.

“Leo!” Donatello was the next to stand, hurrying after his brother.

Michelangelo didn't react. He just as stiff and speechless as his guests were. His expression broke. His lip began quivering as he tucked into himself and started to cry. Tears came heavy and fast; Raph was the quickest out of his seat and ushered to the box turtle’s comfort, wrapping Michelangelo in arms as big as he was. Michelangelo leaned into the hug, resting his head against Raph’s neck and curling his body into a tight ball that the older shinobi could easily embrace.

“Perhaps we… overstepped our bounds…” Splinter said slowly, his eyes holding nothing but patient understanding toward the young teen. “I apologize for causing such emotional distress…”

Michelangelo wanted to respond, but the tears wouldn’t stop to let the words through. Instead, he just leaned his weight further into his friend to hide away from the world.

***

Raphael needed to calm down. He needed to breathe and think somewhere away from questions, even the ones left unsaid. His hands were shaking too badly for the accuracy needed to knit, and when he had tried all he succeeded in doing was clacking the needles together and making nothing more than a tangled wad of yarn. Busywork always seemed to help, so that’s what he fell to doing. He settled on making up Michelangelo’s room for the brotherly sleepover that Michelangelo was so excited for. It would be cramped quarters, but he was sure they could all fit in Michelangelo’s race car bed with a little maneuvering; Raphael even had his own rubber sleeper shell so his spikes wouldn’t hurt them in the night! The bed had been a birthday gift from Donatello the previous year, and Michelangelo himself had handled the decorations of the wooden frame. As one would expect, it was just as vibrant as Mikey was.

There came a gentle knock at the open door.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Splinter said in that soft, humble voice of his.

“Uh… n-no, just some... “ Raphael let out a long breath and motioned vaguely toward the blankets and pillows he had assembled into a comfortable nest. He couldn’t find the words, so he melted away into low mumbles.

“I see.” Splinter nodded, “It looks very comfortable. Are you sure you don’t mind sharing your rooms?”

Raphael shrugged. “Eh, it’s whatever. Mikey loves sleepovers, so…” Raphael bit his lip out of habit and rubbed his arm.

“Still, I appreciate your generosity.” He approached Raphael at a slow gait and held out his paw near Raphael, but not quite touching him, allowing Raphael to take that final reach if he so choosed; and he did. Splinter ran a finger carefully across the far-larger hand, his expression a splitting smile. “I’m sorry if my family overstepped our boundaries at supper. Leonardo is simply… eager to get back home, as we all are.”

“No no no, it’s not your fault!” Raphael quickly reassured. “I know how Leo’s can get when they’re antsy.

Splinter gave a cheerful laugh. “Yes; I suppose my son and your brother are more alike than we initially realized.”

“Yeah, especially recently...” Raphael caught himself. He growled, swiping at his face trying to clear the cloud in his mind. “Sorry. Just a lot on my mind right now.”

“Of course.” Splinter nodded, “I understand completely.”

Raphael sat down with enough force to shake the room; Splinter sat down beside him.

“Your father is… unwell?” Splinter asked cautiously.

“Erm…” Raphael pursed his lips and gave a thoughtful grunt. “Uh. Physically he’s as well as he can be— Leo and Don make sure of that.”

“But mentally?” Splinter prompted.

Raphael couldn’t answer. It was all he could do to shake his head and give a weak, gasping sob, though no tears came to match. Almost out of habit, Raphael pressed his weight into Splinter and rested his head on the old rat’s shoulders; Splinter carried the burden of Raphael with little trouble, carefully shushing the mutant's sobs while stroking his carapace.

“There there, it is alright.” Splinter soothed. “I can imagine how difficult it is to care for your father while maintaining your duties at the same time.”

“It is.” Raphael shook his broad head. “And… and I try to balance things so we can do both, but Leo’s just making it so hard! We’re yelling at each other all the time, Donnie holes up in his bedroom, and Mikey is just so sad. I don’t know what to do…”

“Hey, easy…” Splinter stroked the unscarred side of Raphael’s face, “You will figure it out. Would I be overzealous to ask about…?”

“Uh.” Raphael took a deep breath to think. “We took him to a yokai specialist that uh… said LBD or something like that. Protein deposits in the brain or nerve cells or whatever. I… kinda blanked out.”

“Of course.” Splinter nodded, “It is only natural.”

“Leo handles all of that medical stuff anyway.” Raphael waved a dismissive hand, “Doctor appointments, physical therapy, stuff like that…”

“You’re awfully lucky you have all those options.” Splinter said, “Perhaps we could get Michelangelo checked out— my son, I mean. Donatello is wonderful with him, but internet searches and medical books can only go so far.”

There was no verbal response, but Raphael grunted and nodded with eyes averted. Splinter frowned and lowered his head to meet the snapping turtle’s gaze, smile just as patient.

“Do you agree, Raphael?”

Raphael shrugged. “I dunno. I mean— it’s worked so far for us. I get that Leo wants dad to have all these specialists and these caregivers and—and I understand that dad needs the care, but it’s expensive and we can do half that stuff by ourselves! If dad really needs something then it’s not an issue, but Leo keeps wasting all this time and money to get the same exact answer! It’s stupid!”

“I see.” Splinter nodded, “I understand that pride may be a difficult thing to overcome with something so personal…”

“And it’s not just the appointments!” It was nice to have someone to talk to, an unbiased source, so Raphael just kept talking. He could feel a weight lifting off of his shoulders and chest. “Leo’s has it in his head that dad needs a full-time nurse!”

“You don’t think so?”

“I don’t know…” Raphael shook his head, “I mean, I can’t really stand the thought of some stranger coming here and… trusting someone we don’t know with taking care of dad.”

“You’re untrusting of strangers…”

“Well, yeah. We’ve been pretty sheltered most of our lives. All of this… out in the open stuff is really new to us.”

“It is a valid worry.” Splinter reassured, “Is there any alternative?”

“I don’t see why we can’t do what we’ve been doing! You know— take turns staying behind to take care of dad.”

“You would split up the team…”

“I mean… it’s for dad! And it’s what we’ve been doing for the past two months, and it’s worked out great! Leo just doesn’t want to put in the work…”

“I’m certain that’s not what it is at all!” Splinter insisted, “You said Leonardo was taking your father to all of these appointments! That doesn’t seem lazy to me!”

“It’s lazy when it gets him out of training and patrol constantly.” Raphael said bitterly.

“Ah.” Splinter understood, “Well, why not take turns accompanying Yoshi?”

“I tried that; Leo’s the only one who knows enough about this stuff to fill in the doctor's.”

“Your Donatello isn’t of help?”

“Not with medical science. He’s more of a tech nerd.”

“My Donatello is much of a… jack of all trades, if you would. Perhaps during our stay he could help out.”

“You think he would?” Raphael had a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“I don’t see why not. I will ask him about it in the morning.”

“Thanks.” Raphael breathed, his smile coming back with a more genuine emotion, “Gee, we really owe you for everything you’ve done for us.”

“We didn't help you boys just to get something owed.” Splinter stated, “It was just the right thing to do.”

“I know!” Raphael insisted, “And helping you guys is the right thing for us to do!

“You are a very kind soul, Raphael, and I am so thankful that me and my sons had this place to turn to in our hour of need. Friends to rely on.”

Raphael took Splinter’s hands in his. “You’re always welcome here! We would have visited sooner but… life happened.”

“Do not be guilty, young Raphael. Guilt does not suit those eyes well.”

Raphael rumbled a laugh. “I’ll try to remember that.”

~~~

“Hey.” Donnie opened the closet to find Leonardo sitting inside; he closed the door and joined Leonardo, having to pull his knees tight to his chest to cram all seven feet of him inside.

“Hey.” Leonardo muttered, hardly acknowledging Donnie’s presence.

“Your Donnie’s looking for you, you know.”

“How’d you find me first, then?”

Donnie shrugged. “I’m a ninja. Do you… wanna talk about what happened?”

“What’s there to talk about?” Leonardo scoffed, almost laughing, “You saw what went down. There’s nothing more to it.”

“Oh, I think there is.” Donnie said; when Leonardo looked in the box turtles eyes, he was met with the cold, cobra stare that Donnie was known for. “I’m curious. Enlighten me.”

Leonardo gulped. “Just… the past six months have been an… all-round crap fest. Just one thing after the other— it’s exhausting! And arguing with Raph doesn’t make things any better.”

“Haven’t you and your Raph always butted heads?”

“Not like this!  Not every day— and not so violent! Not over something as important as this… as important as dad.”

“Do you know what caused it?” Donnie asked vaguely, but he trusted in Leonardo to know what he was talking about.

“It’s LBD.” Leonardo shook his head, “Doc says so.”

Donnie frowned. “LBD shouldn’t have progressed so quickly. You said it’s only been six months?”

“Five months, and that’s since he was diagnosed, not since it developed.” Leonardo corrected, “He’s had it for a long time we just… didn't notice. Little things like… forgetting our names and mixing up who was who…”

“That would have been around the same time as your injury, right?” Donnie asked, “I mean, I can only estimate given how much you’ve healed.”

“Yeah, right after it.” Leonardo took a shaky breath.

“That must have been… difficult to handle?”

“Raph… struggled a lot.” Leonardo’s voice began to waver, “I… let’s just say I was MIA for a while. I… wasn’t there when… But he got through it. We’ll get through this too. Always do.”

“You have access to doctor's, don’t you?” Donnie said, “Neurologists, geriatricians, physicians?”

Leonardo nodded, “All of those. And I’ve been looking into palliative care, but it’s… hard to find all this stuff in the Hidden City. Yokai illness and human aren’t the same and… and dad’s isn’t either of those.” 

“It sounds like you’re doing everything right to me.” Donnie assured.

“Try telling that to Raph! I told him that we needed a nurse to help us stay on top of this whole thing, and he nearly blew a gasket. He’s too proud to admit that we need help.”

“Pride is a dangerous thing.” Donnie agreed, “How can I help?”

“No.” Leonardo shook his head, “This is personal business. You don’t need to get involved.”

“Leon.” Donnie’s voice dripped with venom.

“D-don’t you do it.”

“Leon.” Donnie leaned closer to Leonardo, his eyes wide and slitted  as he hissed out the words in a slow voice, “How... can I... help…?”

“You can start by not looking at me like that!” Leonardo shoved Donnie away and shivered.

Donnie blinked and his eyes were back to normal. “You’re not in this alone, Leon, and I won’t let you think that you are. Just know that.”

[soldrawss]

So I’mmina start this off by saying literally all your aus/drawing make me smile. They’re all so fascinating and sweet and so,SO well thought out! That being said, not to be that person that brings angst into a fluff buffet but... in your Movie Star Dad AU, do the boys every have mixed feelings about their father suddenly appearing in their lives after a prolonged absence? Also would Christof Von Bradford be an issue for the fam, considering his active competitive jerk energy he has with Lou?

Hi, thank you for your sweet words!!! I literally think about my rottmnt aus every waking moment, no joke, so I’m glad that you think they’re well thought out! I do my best! (also always bring angst. I always have a lot of angst in these au’s, I just also try to even it out with just as much fluff) The boys were YOUNG when Yoshi came into their lives, and each of them have their own perspectives on it, so at the time, they didn’t really have any huge negative feelings towards their situation before Yoshi found them because his absence wasn’t really,,, prolonged.

Mikey was literally a baby, barely a year old, so he doesn’t ever remember a time when Yoshi wasn’t in his life. Yoshi is the only parent Mikey really knows, and he’s completely fine with that. If Mikey has any mixed feelings, it’s towards his late mother, who he has absolutely no memories about, and only really knows her through the pictures Raph kept and the stories Raph and Yoshi would tell about her. He sometimes feels bad that he doesn’t feel as sad about her passing as Raph or Yoshi does, and he sometimes feels bad about not remembering her at all, but it’s also weird cause he knows he shouldn’t feel bad about it, cause he was too little to remember anything anyway and that’s not his fault, but the weird gross feelings in his stomach are there all the same when he thinks too hard about it. So he tries not to think about it. And just blissfully goes about his days with his doting dad and his overindulgent big brothers. 

Raph was nervous and distrustful of Yoshi at first, because of course he was. He was 4 years old, sitting in a hospital bed alone with just his tiny baby brother in his arms, nursing a concussion and ugly road rash on his arms and legs while also nursing a broken heart after just losing mama. And then suddenly this man appears, the man in the movies that mama always loved to watch, except he’s not wearing the flamboyant jumpsuit he’s always wearing, but a maroon sweatshirt and old jeans. His signature styled pompadour and orange shades replaced with a disheveled ponytail and bags like bruises under his eyes. And a lot of people come and go throughout the next couple of weeks. Doctors and therapists and child services and lawyers and all of their faces begin to blend together in a dizzying swirl and Raph has a hard time focusing on anyone who isn’t Mikey. But the man stays the same. His face stays intact, and he follows them wherever they go. And then suddenly Raph and Mikey are allowed to go home with the man, and he tells them how he’s their dad. And how he didn’t know they existed, but he’s going to make up for all the lost time tenfold. And he promises he’s gonna love them enough for both him and their mama. Which Raph doesn’t think is possible, and so he’s suspicious and untrusting at first, cause no one can love them more than their mama did. But the man tries. Boy, does he try hard anyway. Tries to win every smiling giggle Mikey shoots at him and earn Raph’s faith that he’ll be there for them. That he’ll protect them. That he’s going to love them forever. And over the weeks and months, through every tantrum and screaming fit and long sleepless nights, he proves it, little by little. He stays. And he loves them. And Raph’s faith in the man grows with every bedtime story and piggyback ride and half-cooked pancake with too much syrup, and Raph’s guard slowly goes down until it’s fully surrendered over to this man who is their dad, and it’s never raised again.  Donnie knows the routine. He’s been through it approximately 27 and a half times before, through all the foster care homes. A new family takes him in. He messes up something. The new family gives him back. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. He’s been here before. He knows this isn’t going to last long, despite all the promises the man with the thick accent says. And Donnie doesn’t really register that this man was his biological father. He doesn’t really care to, to be honest. What was the point? His own biological mother had willingly gotten rid of him, Donnie’s snuck a peek at his record, he knew it all. So what if this man was his dad. That didn’t mean anything. He was gonna get tired of Donnie the same way all the other parents did. Tired of the constant questions. Tired of the broken appliances and half baked reasons why he took them apart in the first place, because apparently “I wanted to see how they worked” wasn’t a good enough answer. And Donnie was three years old and smarter than anyone ever gave him credit for and you know what? He was tired of it too. Tired of getting his hopes of a family finally understanding and accepting him. Tired of wanting a family who would love him back. Tired of getting his heart broken time and time again. So he wasn’t going to get his heart broken this time. He wasn’t going to accept anything of this man, with two boys already that shared Donnie’s eyes, and he wasn’t going to let himself be the fool again. And as the weeks went by, this cold shoulder game he was playing was getting harder and harder to keep, because dangit, this man really did try everything to prove that he was the real deal. The forever family. And Donnie’s new ‘brothers’ were always bright-eyed and curious about everything Donnie did and said, and actually wanted to play his weird word games and puzzles and wanted to spend time with him, and Donnie felt something short circuit in his brain because he wasn’t used to this feeling in his chest. This warm and light feeling. Something must be overheating in whatever engine was running inside of Donnie’s chest, and Donnie didn’t have a clue how to fix it. He also didn’t know if he wanted to fix it. But of course, it didn’t matter anyway. Because Donnie messed up. It was bound to happen eventually, Donnie got to brazen with how comfortable he was getting in the large house, and when he was running in the hallways, chasing after Raph in an impromptu game of tag, he accidentally slipped and knocked into the t.v stand, sending it straight to the floor where it broke into a hundred different pieces of glass and tiny wired parts. Donnie was mortified, knowing this would definitely send him back, and he got on his hands and knees and tried to collect the parts and put it back together but there was no time. The man that Donnie was half tempted to call dad half the time was already in the room, searching for the source of the loud crash and when his eyes finally landed on Donnie and the broken t.v behind him, Donnie couldn’t help but burst into tears. And he tried to explain, tried to apologize and he promised he’d fix it, he promised, he’d fix it up brand new and then the man wouldn’t have to send Donnie back. He’d be good. He’d fix this. He promised. Just please don’t send him back. And Donnie didn’t see the way the man’s body flinched at Donnie’s sobbed confession, and didn’t see the man lurch from where he was standing to pick Donnie up and hold him in a tight embrace saying all kinds of things that didn’t make sense to Donnie. Because the man was supposed to be angry. Angry like all the other parents eventually were. Angry and disappointed and tired, not... well... whatever this was. Which was holding him close, and running shaking hands through his hair and rubbing circles into his back and saying “Are you ok? Did you get hurt anywhere? Did you touch the glass? Shhh, shhhh, it’s ok buddy, breathe, you’re ok. You’re not in trouble. You don’t have to fix anything. It’s just a t.v. As long as you’re unhurt, then it’s ok. You’re ok, sweetheart. I got you.” And Donnie could feel the man press kisses into Donnie’s hairline that made the 3-year-old cry even harder, and press his face farther into his dad’s shirt as he clung to him for dear life. Because it’s never been just ‘ok’ before. Never. And for the first time, Donnie was starting to learn that with this family, with this man, being ‘ok’ might just work out after all.

When Leo meets Yoshi for the first time, it’s with a heart already filled to the brim with excitement and acceptance as he fully lets him into his life. Because Leo’s 3, and doesn’t know where he came from like most of the other kids in the halfway home. All he knows is that he’s always lived in this cramped house, sharing a room with a broken AC unit with 4 other boys around his age that just loved picking on Leo because of how small he was and how his skin was two different colors. He’s used to the house, and strict rules about eating and playtime, and the mean older kids that come and go while Leo always stays. He doesn’t want to be used to it, but he is, and his lonely daydreams and nights wishing upon all the stars in the sky are filled with thoughts about a life where he gets to leave this place. Dreams about a mom and dad or even a cool uncle or caring grandparents or literally anyone, coming and rescuing him and taking him far away from this place. Dreams about finding a home, with someone there calling him theirs. Belonging to someone, and having someone belong to him too. And then on a dusty and warm afternoon, that very person showed up, and Leo smiles at him hard enough to hurt his face. And he was looking for Leo, Leo specifically, not someone around Leo’s age or who looked like Leo, but actually Leo. And the man wanted Leo. Wanted him like no one had ever wanted him before. And wanted to take him home and call Leo his forever and Leo would have thought he was still dreaming if he hadn’t kept pinching himself the entire 6-hour flight to New York. And not only did Leo get a dad, but he got 3 brothers as well! 3 brothers, who all looked different than Leo but shared his brown eyes all the same, and didn’t mind that Leo talked a lot or made a lot of jokes and didn’t bully him for being or looking ‘weird’ like the other boys he grew up with did. And even though dad says that Leo’s his, and Raph and Donnie and Mikey want to hang around and play with him, Leo still finds himself pinching himself every night just in case. Because this is almost too good to be a dream. It couldn’t be real, right? Did Leo deserve this? Was it really his to have? To call his own? Was a kid like him, who grew up with nothing, who grew up as a nothing, allowed to have everything, and be somebody worth keeping around? Leo wasn’t sure, but if this was a dream, it was the best one he’d ever had, and he hopes he doesn’t wake up from it anytime soon.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Hey girly! Hope your day or night is going well, take your time and do this when ever your ready but

What about a headcanon for the boys when there S/O is on there period having really bad cramps, bad pain and mood changes but is to embeassed to tell them. Lots of love

thank you for your love, support and patience. I really need it tonight...

Leo

You had been trying to hide it all day, Leo is always so self controlled and you feel like you should be the same

but eventually the cramps just get so bad and you’re so pissed off from trying to hide it that you crumple down on the bed in a little ball

“Aren’t you supposed to be training?” Leo calls

“Training can suck a dick!” you even surprised yourself with that answer, Leo is not a fan of bad language...

he wants to know what’s going on, obviously because you’re been off all day

so you tell him 

and immediately his face softens 

he tells you that you need to see to your needs first and training can wait 

then there’s so many cuddles, big leader man is a softie for when you’re in pain 

tells you that you can yell at him to get the anger out if you want and you tell him that’s ridiculous to do

tries to get you to do some light exercise to ease the cramps because he’s heard that helps

but you’re having none of it

will not tolerate back sass though, even if you’re feeling bad you still have to say sorry if you snap at him

Raph

So it’s that time of the month and you’re trying not to bite Raph’s head off over every little thing

but you’re cramping so bad and just need to do something 

so you lie in the fetal position on the sofa, clutching your belly 

he actually catches on to what this is about

“you know....I heard sex is good for cramps”

you give him the evil eye

and so he backs off pretty fast with a “I’m just saying...”

he decides to do something nice for you and runs you a nice hot bath

I feel like Raph is a bath guy

lets you just soak it off which you appreciate a lot 

will sit there with you and listen to your “woman troubles” as he calls it

but he’s a good listener 

tells you that “the offer is still on the table, by the way” about sex because he will not give up on that

the only comfort he can offer is “well, at least you’re not pregnant. Right?”

which is a good thing, you suppose

Mikey

Oh you love Mikey but when it’s that time of the month and you’re having mood swings he can be a little much

and you don’t want to snap at him but it’s that time of the month and you’re in a lot of pain

so when you tell him to ignore you if you’re mean, he gets it

it’ll still make him give you that kicked puppy look if you’re mean tho

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, he has weird nicknames he calls you during this time

he will squeeze you and call you his little ketchup packet and you will hate him for it

but he also knows about cravings 

so while you’re resting, he goes out to get everything you could possibly want

especially ice cream because he knows from films that girls love to mope around and eat ice cream when they’re on their period 

so you eat away the bad feelings 

and he rubs your belly a little saying “get better soon!”

“Mikey, it’s a period not the flu...”

his sympathies don’t stop tho, he wants you to feel better anyways 

Donnie

you don’t have to hide these things from Donnie

in fact, you can’t. he knows your cycle better than you do

so when that time comes around he is prepared 

heating pads and pain meds and feminine hygiene products galore

he’s basically a doctor so there’s nothing you can say that’ll gross him out

“I need to go change my pad. It’s like the battle of the Somme in my underwear right now....”

“Ok, baby. Hurry back”

like nothing phases him to do with this

and he gets it if you snap at him

but he’ll still give you *that* look as if you say “you’re gonna be sorry you said that when you’re feeling better” because he knows you will

he does most things for you when you’re this way

like he’ll go get you water and make the bed himself because he knows you just want something nice to come back and crawl into when you’re on your period 

just very supportive of you during this time because he understands what your body is going through

[elladescent449-artspace]

It started with the Milk: Chapter 5 - Not a dance anymore.

Note: Uggggh this is my first time writing a fight and I don’t know if this is any good, but anyway yeah. I’m surprised how fast I got this next chapter done. You guys can find this fic under the username C4mag1 on ao3, i’ll put a link at the end. Let me know what you think of it!

-

Not a dance anymore.

Leo rolled to the side to dodge ‘Its’ grapple. When he stood he was greeted with the mace end of Donnie’s bo brushing the skin between his eyes as it swung through. Leo jumped back to dodge the next strike, and again with the next one. He stumbled when a crack in the floor and he took a sucker kick to the stomach that folded him like a chair around the guts. Leo slid back with a cough and the taste of bile rising to his throat, cradling his stomach but was thrown to the floor with a sickening crack as he took a shot to the face from Donnie’s stick. He hears the blade of his sword hit the floor with a metallic twang but he doesn’t have time to look when a flash of purple takes his attention. His hands meet the broad side of Donnie’s bo and he’s pushed further into the concrete as he fights it from crushing his throat. 

‘Its’ eyes are wide with excitement as it chuckles gruffly. “What’s wrong Leo, can’t hit your brother?”

Donnie was not stronger than Leo. He couldn’t put a dent in the side of a melon, so why was Leo struggling so hard to keep this thing from pressing against his windpipe? Leo growled as he felt the strain in his arms. “You’re not my brother!” 

“You sure about that?” It whispered as it changed position, “Leo, are you sure?” It pushes harder as it straddles Leo, hovering over him and blocking out the little light there was.

Leo hears his wrists pop with the pressure. “Stop,” there’s a small chain of cracking as Donnie- or - It’s knuckles pop, forcing more and more weight into the metal stick.

“I think you’re just crazy!” ‘It’ mocks Leo with a laugh.

The staff is inching closer as Leo’s arms are starting to give way. Leonardo is scrambling beneath ‘It’, trying to kick or throw ‘It’ off or something. With a cry Leo instinctively leans his head back as the bo sarts to close in on his neck. Leo twists his body, flexes his guts, tries shifting his grip, anything to make this stop- and then there’s a digital ‘blip’.

Leo smiled with a grunt. “Maybe I am crazy,” he huffed and groaned as he found the strength to edge the stick away, even just a little. Donnie’s tech-bo beeped and a shower of metal plating shifted under both of their hands, “but you’re about to be over the moon.”

The dual-rocket setting was finalized and a flare of purple flames ignited. Blue could feel the heat from under his hoodie and winced as it started to burn. The start of a word starts to form in ‘It’s’ mouth and Leo can see a flash of inky black behind Donnie’s teeth, he doesn’t stop to stare though, finally slipping one leg out and sending a forceful kick into ‘Its’ chest.

It grunts as it’s pushed back but maintains its grip on the bo as it begins to spin uncontrollably. Leo scans quickly to find his sword and staggers to his feet just as ‘It’ is sent crashing through the vert ramp. Leo picks up his sword and pulls out his phone as he starts running for the exit, speed dialing Raphael and clicking the green button. Leo goes for the exit by the kitchen, stopping at the threshold to the main sewer. The phone is ringing and Leo swings his sword in a familiar circle. The magic flickers and Leo’s shakes worsen, “c’mon, magic portal!” He tries again, swinging a larger, more exact circle as he catches his breath. The phone is ringing its familiar tune but there’s no answer yet, “please, please, please.” The portal flickers for a moment before forming completely with an electric zap. He takes step forwards with a laugh of happiness, but it's cut short when his head is ripped back by the tails of his mask.

His wrist is squeezed painfully as'It'presses a thumb into a nerve, making Leo's hand cramp until his hands stop working and his phone falls to the floor.

“Who are you calling, Leo?” There is so much furry in'It's' shaky whisper. An arm swings around Leo's neck and he's pulled into a choke as he's dragged backwards. “Raph?” It chuckles darkly, “you think he 'll believe you? ” 

Leo's screen turned colors and a timer appeared.

“Hello?” Raph's tiny voice emitted from the speaker, Leo screamed Raph's name but his voice was cut short when the grip around his throat tightened enough for Blue to see spots. “What was that? Leo?” was enough to make Leo cry. Leo tried to say something, anything, Please Raph please come home, please help me.'It' paused, looking down on the phone for a moment before stomping down on it with enough force to shatter the phone in half.

Leo held tightly onto his sword, he wasn't going to let it fall this time. He ripped his hand out of Its grip and tried prying off the tightening appendage. He got a breath of air and coughed as a single tear soaked his mask . “Let go!”

“He won't believe you,” It started, pulling Leo back from the portal. “Do you think any of them will believe you? You haven't slept in days and it's made you look crazy.” The portal began to slowly shrink as'It' increased the distance between them and the swirling blue.

“Stop it,” Leo kicked and struggled hard, twisting in place as he groaned and cried out trying to escape Its grip.

It laughed into Leo's ear, brushing up on the side of Leo's head with its cheek, almost affectionately, as it continued. “I'm Donnie,” it sang.

“No you're not,” he gasped. Leo started to feel the pressure increase again and his vision started to blur. In the mesh of his panicked mind, he thought,'where is this strength coming from?'

“I, Donatello, the more humble twin is smart,” The portal was getting smaller and smaller as the time achingly passed. Leo dug his heels into the gritty concrete, stopping them for a moment. It hummed, “dependent, funny .. "Leo's hope was shrinking with the portal and'It'knew it, so'It' let them both be stationary as they watched the portal shrink together." "I'm one of the actual favorites in the family."

Leo knocked his head back at the same time that he elbowed Donnie in the Solar plexus. It groaned as it staggered backwards and Leo swung his sword down,'just get him in the battle shell and you'll have enough time to-'It Donnie's gloves were enough to keep from cutting, so it squeezed it's fingers as it straightened up to stand to its full height. Leo could see the scrapes and bruises forming on Its skin from where it had crashed into the wooden ramp. Pieces of splintered wood speckled Donnies mask and Leo could see a few large chips stuck between Donnie's battle shell. ”

Leo tugged at his sword. “Let go!” Leo looked back over his shoulder, the portal was so small now, he only had seconds before it was too small for him to fit and he knew that he wouldn't be able to make a second one fast enough.

It chuckled darkly as Leo struggled, shifting'Its' grip to hold the blade even tighter. “Raph hasn't noticed a thing,” It cocked it's head to the side and narrowed it's eyes, “and Splinter wouldn't believe you even if he did like you. ”

There's a wet shift and the sound of fabric cutting as the sword slipped out of its hand. Oh no. Leo's breath hitches when bubbles of red grow until they pool and spill onto the floor, he could see past the thin layer of skin and fat There was a pause as'It'stared at the gaping slice in Donnie's hand. It didn't think that Leo could do it. He had cut from one end of Donnie's hand., And then the fleshy pink of muscle and then something white. to the other. He had cut down to bone. 

Leo tries to say something, but all he comes up with is a shaky swallow and a gasp before he turns. 

'It' snaps out of the trance. “No!”'It' races towards the portal, reaching to try and grapple Leo just as he jumps.

Leo is washed in electric blue before the portal fizzes out, leaving'It' gasping for air with a bloody hand and nothing to show for it.

'It' stands there for a moment, in the silence. Its groans rise into a roar before slamming Donnie's bleeding fist into the wall.'It' leans into the rounded wall to press its forehead against it, and breathes heavily into the concrete with closed eyes, thinking deeply as it searches its mind for what to do next.'It'sighed, taking a few deep breaths before pulling out Donnie's phone, which was luckily unbroken considering that it had been thrown along with the body into the vert ramp . It only rang twice before a familiar voice answered.

“Hey, Donnie, what's up?” There was a cheer in Raphael's voice, he could be heard crunching on something as he spoke.

“Raph, you guys need to get home right now.”'It'played up the shake that was already in Donnie's breath from the fight, presenting desperate concern with a touch of pain as it spoke through the receiver, “I think Leo's is sick, or maybe just crazy, but ... ”It began walking towards the bathroom but stopped, better let it bleed for a bit longer,“ he just attacked me. ”

-

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28420926/chapters/69643452

[glowinggator]

Dutchies - Donatello Imagine

New York was one of the weirdest places you’ve ever lived. The rainy weather, the high prices, the cramped subways, everything: it was all very strange. Everyone had always said that New York was big, but perhaps you had underestimated the sheer size of the city. Honestly, you had never seen so many people in one place, much less work together. The pounding of feet on pavement was once a sound that would have sent shocks through your soul; however, you had grown used to the hustle and bustle of the city. Your eyes traced the picture of the coffee cup, committing it to memory. Painted wings stretched themselves out along the cup, depicting a bird in flight. A goose, perhaps? You could never tell, and you never bothered to ask. Regardless, it was a sight that had become familiar to you. Routine, even. Get dressed, pull on your shoes, buy your morning coffee, and crawl down into the sewers.

Perhaps that routine was weirder than you gave it credit for; although, the turtles you had grown to love were far more hospitable than your average New Yorker.

You looked up from your spot on the bean bag, zapping yourself back into reality. A smile worked its way across your face as you took in your surroundings once more. The frantic mashing of buttons echoed throughout the room, Mikey and Leo shouting out incoherent obscenities to one another. You flipped your Wiimote loosely in your hand, refocusing your attention on the game at hand. You had no idea what person in their right mind would ever throw away a video game, much less Mario Party 8, but hey! You guys aren’t complaining.

“This game is rigged!” Leo groaned, throwing his head back. He went limp as though feigning death. Which all things considered, is a perfectly valid response to losing a minigame. Mikey cheered in response before sticking his tongue out at Leo. Also a valid response, in your opinion. You chuckled at their antics before jamming your heel into the eccentric turtle's side. He lurched forward, trying to kick you back before failing miserably. He slid off the couch, claiming that 'it was just comfier down there,' and that 'he totally meant to do that.' Donatello got up from the other end of the couch, moving to steal Michelangelo's seat before anyone else could. You rolled your eyes, giving a toothy grin.  

“Hit A, we need to get past this screen so I can kick your ass,” you joked. You set your coffee down, fully prepared to roll the highest possible number on the die. You’re getting that star, damn it. Mikey smiled cheekily before responding with the typical, “yeah, right.”

You played for hours, hardly ever touching your coffee. Mikey won, of course. He always does! Donnie thinks he sold his soul in exchange for RNG luck. You think he’s a sore loser, but hey, he’s not wrong. You hummed, amused, as the two youngest turtles bickered. You picked up your forgotten coffee cup, swirling the remaining fluid. You make quick eye contact with Donnie, offering the remains in a practiced silence. He reaches over to grab it, nodding appreciatively.

“I don’t get why you always buy these, you never finish them,” he murmurs. You pause, confused at your own actions as well. Shrugging, you respond gently: “I don’t know either, honestly. I just haven’t made it around to trying other coffee shops yet.” He raises an eyebrow, perplexed. You half expect him to pull out a notebook for a “social experiment,” as he calls it. Yet, he stays planted on the couch, tilting the cardboard cup at you encouragingly. He takes a sip, and you’re momentarily distracted by the serenity emanating from him. Maybe that’s just you though. Mildly flustered, you continue: “Nothing will ever be as good as Dutchies.”

You talk for a while more, the rest of his family causing chaos in the background. You talk about your home back west, recalling your favourite coffee orders. He seemed particularly interested in the 911 and Iced Double Torture. You didn’t know if it was the names or the espresso that caught his attention, but you made a mental note of it.

‘I’ll have to send him snaps of the menu when I go home for Christmas,’ you thought. ‘If he’s gonna send me photos of cute dogs I can’t have, I’ll have to send him photos of coffee he can’t have.” You huffed, laughing under your breath.

“Is it really called Dutchies?” he asked, “like the furry?” You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled from you. You kicked him lightly: “Of course you’d think it was a furry thing.” He kicked you back as you continued, “but no, it’s full name is Dutch Bros. We just call it Dutchies ‘cause it sounds better.” You reflexively went to grab your coffee cup, only to realize that you had already given it to Donnie. Maybe you had a caffeine problem. He snickered, taking a sip from the cup. “I can see why,” he mused, “I wouldn’t be caught dead saying ‘bro’ for any reason other than ironic memes.”

 And thus, your routine resumed. Get dressed, get your mediocre coffee, crawl into the sewers, go to school. Boring, save for your time with the turtles; and yet, your routine persisted. Until two weeks later.

 A loud vibration echoed throughout the room. Reflexively, you got out of bed to shut off your alarm clock. Realizing that it wasn’t the object making the noise, you spun around the room in your half-awake daze. You stumbled towards the light of your phone, swiping right and holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” You didn’t have the energy for a proper greeting.

“Hey, (Y/N). Did I wake you?” Donatello's voice spoke from the other side of the line. You shrugged, before realizing that he couldn’t see your movements.

“Don’t worry about it,” you responded. “What’s up?”

“Okay, so when you leave, come straight here. Don’t stop anywhere, I have something I need to show you,” he said. The glee in his voice was obvious. You could almost imagine him running around the lab, energy forcing him to move. It wouldn’t be the first time. You laughed gently, agreeing to the command. You could practically see the smile on the other side of the line as he hung up. His final words of “see you at 8:30” rang in your head as you moved to get dressed for the day.

You held tightly onto the ladder as you descended into the sewer. ‘This is a lot easier without a coffee in hand,” you thought. Although you had to admit, it sucked not having your daily dose of caffeine to guide you. 8:30 just wasn’t going to be enough time to get you to both the coffee shop and the turtles. “Oh well,” you thought. “One day won’t kill me.” You gave a gentle wave to Raph as you entered the lair. He was sprawled out under the heat lamps, basking in its comforting warmth. ‘They’re so human, it’s easy to forget that they’re just turtles,’ you thought. You absently wondered how they survive in the winter before coming to the conclusion of “more heat lamps.” Looking around, you sent Donnie a text asking where he was. His phone pinged in the kitchen, his arm reaching out to wave to you seconds later. Perplexed, you wandered towards the kitchen. And the sight you came upon was not one you were expecting.

Donatello was sitting at the table, two coffees in hand. You sat down next to him, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Okay, so remember a few weeks ago when you were talking about being homesick and stuff? And you mentioned Dutchies, and how you really missed it?” He waved his hand around as he spoke, waiting eagerly for your response.

“Yeah, why?”

“Alright so, we’ve been wanting to get an espresso machine for a while anyway, so I ended up looking up the recipes for the stuff you were talking about and I decided to make you a cup.” He spoke nonchalantly, eyes looking past you. He hunched his shoulders lightly before moving his hands under the table. Wait, was he embarrassed? You smiled, a faint blush working its way to the tips of your ears. He planned this. He made this for you. You couldn’t help but feel a little giddy at the sweet gesture.

“Thank you, Donnie, that’s super sweet of you,” you smiled. He smiled back at you, tension fading from his shoulders. He sighed gently before responding:

“Yeah, no problem.”

[rottmntquotes]

Stars

Blue, or white bulbs? Purple accents, or an indigo moon? A swirly wormhole, or a dramatic supernova?

"It is but the constant struggle of an artist."

A quick scoff drew Leo out of his thoughts, and he turned to send a genuine smile to his genius twin. In response, Donnie sneered, eyes narrowing and accenting the bags that formed. This didn't throw off Leo's mood, though; if anything, the look drove Leo to work harder, walking up to Donnie and holding up two strands of lights. A happy, almost childish look was on Leo's face, and Donnie rose a brow despite his previous anger.

"Blue, or white?" Leo asked, holding the lights up respectively. "I want to hang up lights in the room."

"Leo, it's your room now. Why are you asking for my opinion?" Donnie retorted, rolling his eyes as the question was completely ignored.

"I just thought you'd like to help decorate the room." Leo hummed, moving to pick up a picture of a supernova. "What about this? Cool colored wormhole, or warm colored supernova?"

"Uh, neither. If anything, I'm more of a wintery planet sort of turtle. Studies show that many people find it easier to sleep in cold, snow colored environments. It causes the body to naturally search for heat, and when the heat is found, the body is more likely to be comfier than if it were in a hot environment."

"Okay."

Donnie paused mid-speech, watching his twin look through his phone casually. A minute or so passed before Leo shoved his phone into Donnie's face. "So, colors like this?"

"Uh... yes...?" This was weird. Why was Leo acting so... not Leo-ish? It was a question that plagued Donnie's mind, but he was quickly cut off before he could ask. Quick paced whistling filled the silence, and Donnie watched as his odd twin took hold of a few dark blue bulbs, holding them up in the air while squinting his eyes.

"Is this a good blue?" Leo asked, continuing to hold the bulbs up. "Or should we go with indigo?"

"Are... are you okay?" Donnie chose to voice his concerns instead of answering, placing a hand on the back of Leo's neck. The Slider snickered at the touch, dropping the lights and turning to kitten-slap Donnie's hand away.

"I'm fine. I just want to know how you want the room to look."

"Will you stop saying that?! This isn't my room anymore! It's yours! You were the one who hustled this room out of my hands!" Donnie shouted, his body stiffening as he curled his beak into a snarl. Leo smiled in response, shrugging and returning to the decorations.

"What do you think about having little star stickers on the wall?"

"That sounds like a great id- Hold on! NO! I don't care about anything you do to this room! You hustled it, so you can deal with what I had to deal with! And lemme tell ya, there are plenty of things wrong with this room! It's cramped, there's barely enough room to put your massive mountain of junk, and you can bet that it'll be ten times worse to crawl out of that poor excuse of a bed! You'd have been better off committing a crime and being sent to jail!"

"Then... why are you so upset?" Leo's question surprised Donnie, leaving the Softshell to do nothing more than attempt to answer. "Uh-huh, right. So, until you calm down, I'm just going to make the big decisions, and what you see is what you get."

Donnie sputtered, unable to formulate full sentences, especially as he was pushed out of his previous room. A quick yet gentle shove was all it took to get Donnie to leave, and Leo waved his brother off, turning around to continue his previous work.

__________

It was around 9:00 p.m. when the boys arrived from Run-of-the-Mill, each of them finishing up cheery stories before they all split up to do their own things. Raph went to lift weights, Mikey went to work a new project, Donnie retreated to his lab, and Leo... went back to decorating the room. A frustrated groan was let out, and Donnie was torn between staying in his lab and ignoring his petty feelings, or trying once again to confront Leo about the strange behaviour.

Then again, this would just show off that Leo was somehow managing to get underneath Donnie's battle shell. Something he was probably already doing to begin with. Happy whistling came from Donnie - Leo's room, effectively driving the Softshell crazy. A low growl came from Donnie's throat before he stood up suddenly, ignoring his body's reaction to the movement as he stormed into his - Leo's room.

"Alright, what gives?! Why are you spending so much time decorating this room?!" Donnie asked angrily, searching Leo's face for any sort of explanation. Leo simply smiled in response; a genuine look that served to drive away any of Donnie's previous negative emotions.

 How did he manage to do that???

"Well, I noticed how you've been way more sleep deprived than usual, which is my fault entirely. So, I've decided that I'll let you come in here and sleep whenever you really feel yourself losing all sanity because of dad's snoring." Leo explained, briefly turning his back to Donnie so that he could retrieve a nearby screw. "I've been working on this for weeks, and I keep asking for your opinion because I want you to be able to be as comfortable as possible when you need somewhere to rest and relax."

"Wait, but where would that put you?"

"I'll just sleep in my old room whenever need be." Leo chimed, shrugging as he moved to pick up a picture of the family. "I've gotten used to dad's snoring, so it won't bother me as much."

"So... you're willing to give up your own comfort, just so I can get a good night's rest?"

"Yup! It's what twins are for, after all!" Leo's comment was met with silence, but he said nothing on it, taking this time to begin hammering a nail into the wall. Once the nail was deemed planted enough, Leo hung the picture up, humming happily, and stepping back. "And viola! Your new- OW!"

Donnie was snapped out of his confused haze by Leo's yelp of pain, searching everywhere possible for any type of source. After a minute or so, Donnie noticed that Leo was favoring one foot more than the other, and he instructed the blue clad Slider to sit down on the... nest? Yep. It was a nest.

"Hey, I'm fine Donnie, I swear. It's just a little nick." Leo assured, standing up and immediately sitting back down. With an unimpressed scoff, Donnie grabbed Leo's foot, gasping at the sight of the large nail that had lodged itself into the skin. "See? It's nothing!"

"Nardo, there is an entire nail lodged in your foot. That. Is not. Nothing!" Donnie exclaimed, lying Leo back so that they were both in a comfortable position. "Now, I'm gonna have to pull it out- BUT IT WON'T HURT! I'll do it on three so you know when to expect it. One... two... WHAT'S THAT?!"

"What?! OW!" Leo pulled his foot back, cradling it lightly and blowing on it rapidly. Donnie, in the meantime, was studying the nail for any signs of rust. None were found, but the Softshell decided that he would give Leo a Tetanus shot anyways, just to be on the safe side. "Hey, hey, I ain't gettin' no shot! That is not happening!"

"You "ain't getting no" shot, huh?" Donnie snickered, patting Leo's head. "Do you remember nothing about the double negative rule?"

"Screw that rule." Leo spat, grumbling as he received another head pat.

"Heheh..." Donnie paused his ministrations, thinking over what to say next. "Thank you, Leo."

"For?"

"This. The room. The decoration. Everything." Donnie clarified, leaning down and bumping foreheads with his twin brother. "You didn't have to do this."

"No, but I wanted to." Leo hummed, purring at the affectionate nuzzling his words earned him. "D'aw! You're making me blush!"

"Perfect, that means less blood to deal with when I give you the shot."

"Wait, what?"

"Oh please! Just because you did something nice doesn't mean I have to neglect your health. Now come on, I don't want to carry you all the way to the lab."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"You? Fat? Why, that's like calling a marshmallow spicy!"

"Okay, I get it... I love you man."

"I love you too, brother."

[angstmongertina]

A Mutual Agreement (Cal Lowell/MC)

We got to see Nik freak out, but Cal had very little to say other than to mention that everyone was worried (and Ivy’s line that I YELLED at), so I figured the off-screen car ride seemed like a good time. Because I am trash and this is what I do.

The lines about not being rid of him easily were in reference to my previous ficlet for these two, A Promise, because I need about 1949607245 more moments between MC and Cal, please and thank you. Oh, before I forget, tagging @desiree-0816, as requested. :)

AO3 Link

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In what would no doubt be the first in many moments of incongruence, they were marched outside, not bound but followed closely enough that it was clear there was no chance of escape, even if they wanted to, where a large black limousine waited at the curb, its exterior nearly blinding in the streetlamps.

Naturally, they made a beeline for it. In fact, if nothing else, the fact that she was hardly surprised was a sign that she had already started growing accustomed to the ridiculousness what was her new life… or at least subconsciously figured that it couldn’t possibly be any worse than being stalked by a bloodwraith.

They were led up in the same order they exited the building and she climbed in after Vera with a sigh. The interior of the limo was even more glamorous than the exterior, which, to be perfectly honest, was hardly surprising considering the source. And, for the same reason, held little to none of her interest, especially since the bar was noticeably free of alcohol.

Leave it to Lady Smoke to find a way to ruin what should have been a fun experience.

She grimaced as one of the stooges squeezed in to sit across from her, though he mostly ignored her, instead giving Vera a grin that had her hands fisted in sympathetic disgust. Vera, she noted, wisely held her tongue; spacious though the vehicle was, between all five of them and Lady Smoke’s lackeys, they would be cramped enough that further antagonism was unwise.

Her thoughts dissipated when, the next moment, a warm, familiar presence settled beside her, arm bumping hers lightly. “You all right, there?”

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth without thought. “Could be better. Could be worse. You know. We’re being dragged off to who knows where at the behest of the woman who runs the underworld here, but we’re not tied up. That sort of thing.”

“Practical. I like it.” Cal grinned back, looking oddly more relaxed than he had when she’d first returned back to the Graveyard Shift, and she shot him a questioning look.

“You’re awfully cheery considering who we’re about to meet.”

He only shrugged. “Hey, there’s a chance she might be able to help us and we’ll need all the help we can get. Besides, I figure there’s no chance of you disappearing when we’re all squished in here like this.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, a more difficult task than she’d anticipated given the lack of space, she raised an incredulous brow, torn between amusement and exasperation. “Really now? Did you seriously finagle your way over just for that?”

For a moment, he looked sheepish, though his expression turned solemn the next second. “I know you already got an earful from Nik but like I said, we were all worried.”

She glanced around him to where Nik was staring out the window while Katherine kept an eye on the goons. Catching her eye, the woman winked before resuming her examination of the vehicle, and if the situation weren’t so serious, she would have laughed. As it was, she huffed a quiet breath. “I can’t say it looks like Katherine was much of anything.”

At that, he actually chuckled. “No, she was the lone voice of practicality. Kept telling us that you’d be fine.”

“And with Vera’s help, I was!”

He raised his own eyebrow. “You haven’t actually seen yourself in a mirror yet, have you?” When she only blinked, he sighed, though it was more gentle than annoyed, and light fingers tilted her chin up to brush against her neck, soft and warm.

In spite of herself, she jumped, and he pulled away instantly, face apologetic. “Sorry. I should have known better. Whatever attacked you grabbed you hard enough to leave bruises.”

“Oh.” Ignoring the sudden lack of warmth against her skin, she raised a hand, pressing on her throat, and winced. “Yeah, that’s fair. I probably should have realized.”

“They’ll heal up soon enough but… try not to wander off too much, all right?” He smiled, but there was something brittle, hesitant, about it, that matched the lingering concern in his gaze. “I know I promised you that you wouldn’t be able to get rid of me easily, but it’s gonna be a hell of a lot harder to keep it if you keep deciding to disappear the moment I leave to go check on something.”

A wry grin tugged at her lips. “Understood. And I will, I swear. No more rash decisions.”

When he snorted, she frowned, elbowing him in the side, though he hardly seemed to notice. “If you’re going to make a promise, at least make one you can attempt to keep. Honestly, you’re worse than Donny sometimes.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“First facing the cheater in the fighting arena, then trying to shout down my pack, and now running off to check on your friend?” He crossed his arms over his chest, amused. “You don’t exactly have the best track record.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’ll have you know that that ‘facing the cheater’ saved your ass in that fight, thank you very much. And your pack was bound to fight us anyway but if I could try to make them understand the truth of what happened and how little you were involved, it’d be worth it.”

He grinned, bright and true. “I know and I do appreciate it, but the fact remains that you, Silvia Delmero, have a tendency to run headfirst into danger without thinking or even realizing it, apparently. And it’d be easier for everyone’s peace of mind if you could try not to? Or… at least it would be easier for mine.” A brief pause and was it a trick of the light or did he seem to turn redder? Regardless, his voice dropped. “I don’t want to see you hurt either. Let us help protect you.”

Impulsively, she reached out, resting her hand on his and watching as he seemed to relax at the touch. “I will. Thank you.”

His only response was a brilliant smile, but as they pulled up towards a cluster of buildings and a sense of foreboding threatened to press back down upon them, she found that its warmth was more than enough.

[fanfic-inator795]

RotTMNT Oneshot: Knitting Needles Make Good Conversation Starters

Summary:  How does the so-called 'angry one' of the family become not so angry? Simple. With a few good coping mechanisms, and a lot of help and support from his family.

((Heyyyyy. This is my newest RotTMNT story, pretty much just focusing on Raph and sorta trying to explain why he isn’t as angry in TMNT!2018 as he is in other incarnations. Also plenty of family fluff, cause I love this turtle family ^v^ Anyway, I posted a link to this story on AO3 yesterday but I decided to just post the whole story here on Tumblr too. Anyway, hope you all enyoy - and thank you to all the people who have commented on the story already! ^v^))

“Chōsen o hajimeru tokidesu! Kare wa atarashī kuruma ni katsu koto ga dekimasu ka? Mitsukemashou! Sasori o hanashi nasai!”

Splinter sighed. Not even the amusing sight of the newest Scorpion Treadmill contestant stepping up to the machine for what was sure to be a spectacular failure could bring a smile to his furry face. Television had proven to be a worthy distraction from the more difficult parts of his new life, but at the moment it couldn’t even do that, for there were heavier things weighing on the rat’s mind than simply remembering to gather food and wondering whether they would need to prepare for bad weather.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could still see his oldest sitting in the cramped corner that had been assigned to him. Raphael had brought his knees up to his chest, scowling as he hugged them, with his fists still covered in stray streaks of various colors. Just a few days ago, he had been sent to the corner for shoving Leonardo when he tried to get him to play tag with them. A day or so after that, he had been sentenced to the corner once more for stomping on one of Donatello’s gadgets - an act that still hadn’t been forgiven, since Donnie still refused to speak to him.

His latest misdeed was only half an hour ago, when Splinter had been dragged away from preparing lunch by a yelling pair of twins and a sobbing Michelangelo to the scene of the crime. In mere seconds, Raph had crushed all of Mikey’s chalk in his tiny yet strong hands, leaving them as nothing more than colorful crumbs on the stone floor.

Needless to say, something had to be done - and more time in the Naughty Corner just wasn’t going to cut it. Holding back another tired sigh, Splinter turned off the tv and walked over to his son. Raph’s scowl deepened, and he attempted to hide his face. Splinter raised a gentle hand and put it under Raph’s chin, lifting his face out of his knees.

“Why did you break Orange’s chalk?”

Raphael quickly gave his favorite answer. “I dunno.”

His father narrowed his eyes. “That is not an answer. Why did you break them?”

“I said I dunno!” the five year old snapped, baring his teeth. Splinter was VERY thankful his son hadn’t grown his adult snapper teeth yet, though his hand still retreated, just in case. But the rat wasn’t about to completely back down just yet.

“Why must we keep having these talks, Red Child?” Raph just growled, hiding his face once again. “If something is bothering you, you must tell me!” Splinter continued, scowling back at him, “You cannot keep acting like this. You cannot be a bully to your little brothers-!”

“I’m NOT a bully!” Raphael screamed back at his father’s face suddenly, “An’ I broke his crayons cause they were stupid, okay?!” With that, he turned the spikes on his shell towards Splinter and hid the rest of him against the wall.

Splinter pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore his oncoming headache. He knew that choosing to raise children - mutant turtle children, especially - would present plenty of problems and difficulties, but his oldest’s ever increasing temper tantrums were something else entirely!

“You will stay here for another ten minutes, understand?” Having nothing else to say, Splinter returned to his chair, though kept the tv off as to not give his son a chance to escape under the noise of a live studio audience. As the seconds ticked by, the boy’s growls and angry mutters turned to sniffling and quiet sobs - and just like that, Splinter felt his frustrations melt into heartache.

He had to fix this… He had to help his son.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

Even while being only at the tender age of five, Raphael had done a ton of traveling in his life. Through abandoned alleyways and dark sewers, along train tracks and up and down piles of trash in dumps. Even after being lucky enough to finally find a home deep in New York’s sewer system, Raph still considered traveling to simply just be a part of his family’s life.

But that was the thing… His family’s life. He always traveled with his father and his dumb younger brothers. But now, it was just his father while his brothers got to stay home and sleep in. Splinter didn’t explain why, just that this was a trip for just the two of them. Raph didn’t think they were abandoning his brothers… Maybe Splinter was getting ready to abandon him, finally having enough of him being mean and naughty. Well fine, he didn’t need a papa anyway! He would be just fine by himself!

...Besides, if this place would be his new home, it didn’t seem like it’d be too bad. It was missing the usual smells from the dumps and alleyways, and it was much brighter even with the sun only just poking over the horizon. Pink skies shone light down on darkened trees while wet grass tickled at his feet. He remembered one night a few months ago when Splinter had first brought all of them to a similar looking place, calling it a ‘park’. He and his brothers had played there practically all night, but Raph knew that there would be no playing this time.

After a few more minutes of walking, Splinter finally stopped. He sat down, and then gestured for his son to do the same. Raph did so, if only to get off his feet for a bit. He still didn’t like the wet grass too much, how it stuck to his legs and his shell. But the light skies and the cool morning winds that gently brushed past his face helped him feel less antsy about it.

“Do you like this place?” Splinter asked him suddenly. Raph hesitated a moment before nodding. “I do as well… It is very quiet, and very relaxing.” Raph nodded again, though still scowled slightly, not quite understanding the point of all this.

Lifting his strong tail, Splinter wrapped it around his son’s shoulders, pulling him a bit closer. “Raphael,” he began, his voice strong. Raph clenched his fists, knowing very well by now that his papa only seemed to use their full names when he was really angry with them. He knew this trip wasn’t going to be fun! He just brought him out here to yell at him some more! He just-!

“I am sorry for calling you a bully.”

The young snapper blinked. He looked up, and saw the guilt in the old rat-man’s eyes. “I was frustrated with your behavior, but that was still wrong of me, and I am sorry.”

“...Okay,” Raph said quietly, not really sure what else to say.

“Always remember this, Raphael,” Splinter told him, his tone serious once more, “That even when you do bad things or make mistakes, you are not bad, and I will love you even when you do these things.”

Raph’s eyes widened a bit. “Really…? So, so you won’t ever get rid of me for bein’ bad?”

“Of course not!” His tail brought the boy in closer, and Raph didn’t hesitate to hold onto him, gripping the fabric of Splinter’s robe tightly. He was big enough for his head to fit in the crook of Splinter’s neck, but he still crouched down, wanting to feel small in his papa’s safe arms. “I did not get rid of you or your brothers when you were hatchlings, and I will not be doing so anytime soon! I love you, Big Red, no matter what you do.”

Raph sniffled at the pet name. “Okay, Papa… Okay…” He felt a soft hand pet his head a few times before hearing his father continue.

“However… While I will not abandon you for making mistakes or doing bad things, these things still must be dealt with. I brought you out here, Red, because I wanted you to feel relaxed enough to talk to me about the things that are making you angry, without worrying about your brothers hearing about it. So… Will you tell me? Will you tell Papa why you get so angry with your brothers and break their things?”

Raph didn’t answer right away, but Splinter had already figured that would be the case. Still, he didn’t push his son. He just continued to pet him and hold him close, until a small voice finally began to speak.

“I broke Mikey’s chalk cause they’re stupid,” Raph mumbled, repeating what he had said just a few hours before, “I try to draw with ‘em, and they always break… Everything they wanna play with breaks when I use ‘em, and then they get mad and then I get in trouble! Same goes with when I wanna play with them!” He started to growl, clenching his teeth. “I... I know I can’t be rough with Donnie ‘cause of his shell, but Leo and Mikey got regular shells and I still end up hurtin’ em whenever we play! An’ then I get mad, so I break more stuff an’ I don’t care about hurtin’ people, ‘cause it’s always gonna happen no matter what! I try not to, but it still happens!”

Splinter started to feel the front of his robe become damp, but he just held his son tighter, silently letting him know that it was okay. That he was okay. “Why do I have to be the biggest, Papa?” Raph cried, “Why do I have to be big and spiky and everything else small and break-y? It’s not fair! It’s not fair! ”

Splinter shushed Raph as he began to sob. “It will be alright, Red… I promise it will all work out.” Wanting to help calm him down, Splinter began to tell him stories of warriors as big and fierce as grizzly bears, and of samurai as tall and mighty as oak trees.  Stories of people as big and strong as Raphael, yet they didn’t break or smash or hurt. Instead, they saved .

By the time the sun had lifted itself above the green treetops, despite his cheeks still being damp and the occasional sniffle or two, Raph had started to think that maybe being big wasn’t so bad. “I wanna be like ‘em when I grow up,” he said quietly, still leaning on Splinter’s warm chest, “I wanna be like the warriors an’ the heroes… Be big enough to help.”

“You will be, Red Child,” Splinter told him, giving him another pat on the head, “And your brothers grow up too, become bigger and strong enough, and you’ll all have an easier time playing with each other.” Raph smiled a bit at the idea of that, being able to wrestling around with Leo and Mikey and being able to play with Donnie without worrying about hurting his soft shell. “But even then, you must remember that you are the oldest of your brothers. You still must protect them, just as they will protect you, and you definitely shouldn't use your strength against them in order to force them to do what you want. Family must always look after each other, and it is the oldest’s job to practice that, so that the younger members of his family can follow in example.”

The young snapper thought about this carefully before looking back up at his papa. “D’you think I could be a good big brother?”

“Absolutely,” Splinter answered with a warm smile. Raph grinned back at him, giving him another hug. Though, as they began walking back to the manhole they came up through, Raph’s smile faltered a bit.

“What if I still get mad, Pop?” he asked, “What if I get mad an’ I hurt my brothers or break their stuff, even though I don’t mean it?”

Splinter hummed, stroking his chin. “Perhaps… Perhaps, we can find a way for you to control your strength while we wait for your brothers to catch up…”

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Two days after their ‘Raph and Papa Only’ trip, as Raph had called it when his brothers had asked, Raph found himself being taken to his room rather than the Naughty Corner before he had a chance to crush the toy car that he had stepped on. There, he was presented with… With…

“Chopsticks?” Raph raised an eyebrow. “But Pop, I already ate, an’ I hate using those things anyway! Hands are wayyyy better to eat with!”

Splinter gave a small smirk as he shook his head. “No, Red, these are not chopsticks, please do not eat with them. ...Or eat them.” His oldest definitely had a habit of sticking things in his mouth, just to have something to munch on. “These are knitting needles. People use them to create clothes such as scarves, hats, sweaters, and even blankets.”

“Really?” Raph eyed the needles. How could two little sticks create all those things?! It was impossible!

“Yes, really. And that is what you are going to do.” Hidden within the sleeves of his robe, Splinter produced a package of red yarn (Raph smiled at the fact that they were using his favorite color, even if he was still confused) and a worn book titled “Knitting for Beginners”.

“But why do I gotta knit?” Raph asked, picking up the needles and clenching them together tightly. The needles began to crack slightly in his strong grip, causing Raph to scowl. He couldn’t make anything with dumb knitting needles, they were just another thing for him to break…

Splinter however was far from discouraged. “These will help you control your strength, as well as your temper. Knitting takes patience and time, and if you can master it, then you will be on your way to becoming a master of those things as well, my son.”

“A master…” Raph furrowed his brow, setting the needles down. “But what if I can’t do it? What if I’m bad at knitting and ruin all the yarn.”

“Then we will find something else to help you,” Splinter said suddenly, “But let us try to knit before we look for something else, alright?” “Fiiiine…”

For the next several weeks, Splinter would spend around two hours a day with Raphael, pouring over the details and tips from the knitting handbook while his son tried his hardest to knit. For the most part, Raph actually wasn’t too bad at it, being able to concentrate and not get too caught up on the occasional dropped stitch.

Unfortunately, this didn’t stop him from breaking at least one needle each session, but rather than scolding him for it, Splinter simply taped the tool up or replaced it within a few days if the damage was severe enough. Even while still feeling a bit guilty about it, the lack of pressure did allow Raph to relax a bit more, which led to fewer broken needles. Despite their occasional destructiveness, he found that he liked working with his hands, finding new ways to position them as he used them to create rather than just smash or hit.

After two months, Raph had completed a pair of red, three-fingered gloves. They weren’t as perfect as the pictures in the book, but they were still wearable. They were still his, and that was enough.

“Whoaaaa!” Leo said in awe, spotting them on his big brother’s hands as soon as he walked into the tv room, “Where’d you find those?”

“I didn’t, I made ‘em,” Raph answered proudly, “All by myself!” “Wowwwww!”

“Yes. Very nice, Red,” Splinter added, looking away from the screen and giving the gloves an approving nod, making his son beam.

“Yeah! But why’d you wanna make gloves?” Leo asked, “Seems like kind’a a weird thing to make.”

“‘Cause I was mad about steppin’ on your car,” Raph replied, shrugging, “but I made these instead of breaking the car.”

“Oh, whoops...” Leo winced slightly, remembering the short scolding he had gotten that day about leaving his toys out. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine, I’m not mad about it anymore.”

“Good, and thanks for not breakin’ it.” After admiring the gloves a bit more, Leo smiled. “You wanna go play now?”

Raph gave a toothy grin. “Yeah! Let’s go!”

The boys quickly scurried off, leaving their content - and very proud - father alone in his chair. Naturally, he still kept an ear out for crying or yelling, but it wasn’t until it was time to gather his sons up for supper did he have to get out of his chair. Not a toy was broken that night.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Most would be worried about leaving a four year old to their own devices, but Splinter was not one of those parents. Not because he didn’t care about the safety of his youngest, certainly not, but because he knew just how attached Michelangelo was to his older brothers, who would be sure to keep him out of trouble just as long as they stayed out of trouble themselves. And, if something was truly wrong, Splinter would definitely know about it, no matter how far away his orange son was.

Hence the loud wail that had Splinter out of his chair within seconds. Sometimes Splinter wondered if Mikey knew just how loud he could be. Frankly, it would not surprise him if people on the streets above and on the other side of the city could hear him…

But while a loud cry had made him move, a single phrase made him stop, just before reaching the playroom:

“I’m sorry!”

When only silence followed this, Splinter peeked inside, getting a full view of the situation while still using his ninja skills to stay out of sight. He could see Raph looking down at a broken toy train, but all Raph could see, even as he kept his eyes glued to the floor, was the expressions on his brothers’ faces. Mikey’s tear filled eyes, and Leo and Donnie’s frowns - with the latter looking more angry than hurt, which made sense considering that he had found the toy.

“I, I was just tryin’ to play with it,” Raph explained, “But I played too rough, an’ one of the wheels just popped off.” He clenched his fists a bit, though his expression stayed calm. “I didn’t mean to break it, an’ I tried to put it back on, but it wouldn’t go back on! So I threw it… and I threw it too hard.” Looking his brothers right in the eyes now, Raph let his guilt be known. “I was mad… But I still shouldn’t have thrown it. And the rest I didn’t mean to do. But I’m still really sorry. So… yeah.”

The twins exchanged a look, their own expressions softening just a little. But before either of them could say anything, Mikey rushed forward. Even being nearly half the size of Raph, Mikey still managed to wrap his arms halfway around him in a tight hug. “‘S’okay, Raphie,” he said, “I know you sorry, an’ s’okay. Don’t be sad, okay?”

“We know you didn’t mean it,” Leo added, giving Raph a small smile, “We’ll just fine stronger toys for all of us to play with, ones that never ever break!”

“And... I guess I could teach you how to fix the toys that do break,” Donnie offered, “If you wanna help.”

“...” Despite the unshed tears in his eyes, Raph smiled and nodded at them both. “Yeah… That sounds good.”

“You guys hug too!” Mikey demanded, and the twins both chuckled, happily obliging while Raph’s smile grew. Once the impromptu group hug ended, Donnie ran to the toy box to grab the small tools he had stashed away for situations such as these while Leo told a silly train joke he had heard on some cartoon show, easily making his red and orange brothers laugh.

And as he watched his oldest carefully take the tools, using the skills he had gotten from months of knitting to keep his hands steady and his grip not too firm while his other children gathered around their brother to give help and support, Splinter quickly decided that neither he nor Raphael had anything to worry about.

And as time went on and all the things that his father had promised began coming true, Raph decided this as well. Knitting became another one of the constants in his life, even as he himself grew bigger and stronger. Each new garment turned out better than the last, and by his tenth birthday, knitting wasn’t just an exercise in controlling his anger and strength, but a well-loved hobby!

His brothers grew up as well, all of them growing closer as they played and learned together. Once all of them began learning martial arts thanks to the discovery of Lou Jitsu movies and months of begging their father to teach them, they also all became great sparring partners. Sure, Raph still had to pull a few of his punches, not wanting to accidentally send any of his siblings through a wall, but no longer did he have to worry about making any of them cry just by shoving them, and together they were all able to begin the journey of becoming awesome ninjas.

Soon enough, strength truly became a symbol of, well, strength! Of being able to fight off bad guys, of being able to protect the ones he cared about the most. Once Splinter finally allowed them to go off into the city without his supervision, Raphael wore the title of protector and leader with pride. ‘Look out, NYC,’ he remembered thinking as he guided them all out of the sewers, ‘Big Brother Warrior Raph is comin’ for ya!’

Of course, even with all this positive change, Raph still occasionally felt his anger just below his surface. When he still accidentally broke something, as if he was still an accident prone five year old, or when his brothers annoyed him to the point where he actually did want to shove them through a wall.  When he frustrated with being a mutant in a human world, or when something went wrong despite his best efforts to make them go right, or when he was just feeling angry in general and didn’t really know why.

Thankfully, just like how his father knew just what to do all those years ago, the rest of his family seemed to know how to help.

Donnie kept a collection of cracked beakers and gadgets damaged beyond repair in his lab, and when the time called for it, he and Raph would take them all and just smash them against the wall. It was a bit embarrassing to admit, but smashing stuff was still a pretty good release. Thankfully, Donnie never judged him for it - ‘Who knows, maybe he gets somethin’ out of it too,’ Raph would sometimes think - and the two of them would still end up talking things out as they swept up the mess.

Exercise was another way to get that release, though sometimes lifting weights or striking a punching bag just wasn’t enough. Leon, being the fastest of them, naturally would challenge Raph to a race through the sewers or a dozen spars in the dojo when his older brother was feeling particularly angry. He was more than happy to help tire Raph out as he worked through his emotions, just as he was happy to provide refreshing drinks and a shoulder to lean on afterwards.

Mikey’s solution was similar to Leo’s. Buried deep under the rest of his art and crafting supplies were several Jupiter Jim coloring books, each of them partially filled with plenty of pages left to go. He’d always bring these out, along with several plates of homemade snacks, whenever Raph needed a stress coloring session. As childish as it might have seemed, it was almost comforting in a way, just lying on the floor and coloring for as long as he needed to while his youngest brother talked about whatever. The fact that Mikey never even scowled at him when he accidentally snapped off the tip of a pencil or a crayon also helped.

Even Splinter, even after doing so much for him already, still offered to help when Raph’s anger nearly reached his limits. They’d have one-on-one wrestling matches, with Raph finding comfort in how impossible it seemed to knock his father down no matter how many attacks he threw at him. A pillar of true strength, as far as Raph was concerned. And, when it wasn’t a fight he needed in order to work things out, then Splinter would instead provide him with listening ears, honest words, and a warm cup of black tea.

It really was just as Splinter had promised that morning. Things really did work out in the end. His family loved him, no matter what he did or what emotions he had, and they were always willing to help. Even if his feelings were his own, Raph would never be alone, and he would be forever grateful for that.

...But even so, sometimes old habits were the best ones.

Still scowling, he dug through his basket of yarn. His hand touched a ball of pink yarn, and he quickly threw it against the wall of his bedroom. He definitely didn’t need anything pink tonight… Instead, he grabbed the green yarn and began knitting away. He growled slightly when he dropped two threads in a row, but kept his hands steady, resisting the urge to form them into fists. Instead, he took a deep breath and kept on it, listening to the click of his needles and letting his mind wander away from the fight he and his brothers had gotten into just a couple hours ago.

He was about halfway through his impromptu scarf when he heard a gentle knock at the door. “Hey, big guy,” April greeted, giving him a gentle smile.

Despite it all, Raph smiled back at his sister. “Hey… What are you doin’ here?”

“Well I was gonna hang, but the guys said you could maybe use some company? ...Said that you had kind of a rough night tonight?”

Raph scowled, though not at April. ‘Rough’ was certainly one way to describe it… Meatsweats had gotten his hands on a couple of strength-increasing mutants, which was giving him a huge advantage in his so called 'hunts'. Raph had been the one to accidentally lead them into such a one-sided fight, which in turn lead to all of them getting beaten up pretty badly.

But while they were able to free the rest of Meatsweats’ captured prey, making that part of Raph’s plan a success at least, the bad guy had still managed to get away even with their best efforts. Naturally, his brothers were just as frustrated with this, complaining about the mostly-failed mission most of the way home. So, not wanting to start a fight or bother them as they patched themselves up, Raph ended up isolating himself the moment they got home, lest he end up getting into a screaming match with one of them. Though, he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be alone for much longer.

“You wanna talk about it?” April asked, and watched her friend think about it before shaking his head. Tonight was just a bad night, and he wanted to forget about it as soon as possible, at least for right now. “Okay. Can I still chill here for a while?” That time, Raph nodded, not taking nearly as much time to answer. So, April took a seat next to him on his bed. She gently rubbed his shell as he worked, expertly avoiding the spikes and helping him fall back into a relaxed mindset - one that didn’t involve mutant pig-chefs or nearly suffocating thoughts of self doubt.

It took another hour before he finished the scarf, releasing a long sigh once he finally did. “It looks good,” April told him. He smiled warmly at the compliment and handed the scarf to her. She ran her fingers over the soft yarn as she wrapped it around her neck. She’d already gotten several scarfs from the snapper over the years, along with a couple sweaters and some fingerless gloves, but as far as she concerned, there was no limit on the amount of comfy homemade knitted-wear a person could have. “Thanks… So, you feelin’ better?”

“Yeah,” Raph admitted, though his smile didn’t quite meet his eyes, “I’m relaxed at least. Still kinda pissed though… I know I’ll get a rematch with him eventually but, it’s hard just waitin’ around, you know? Waitin’ to make up for a bad fight, or a bad plan…”

April patted him on the shoulder. “...Central Park seemed pretty deserted when I rode past it, and I doubt anyone’s out there at-” she checked her phone. “2:37 AM. You wanna go take a walk? Maybe grab some convenience store pizza afterwards?”

Raph’s smile grew a bit. Closing his eyes for just a moment, he could already feel the cool grass under his feet and the light wind in the air. “Yeah, that sounds nice… Thanks, April.”

“No problem, Raph,” she smiled back, squeezing his hand, “Anytime.”

Even before they reached the surface, Raph could feel the last of his anger and frustration fading away, allowing his heavy steps to feel light without anything weighing them down. Of course, these feelings would come back soon enough, and as annoying as that would be, Raph wasn’t afraid of them. He’d face them head on, just as he did with any other obstacle in his way. Things would work out in the end. Things would be alright.

As long as he had his family, their encouraging and supportive words, and a couple of spare knitting needles and some yarn at the ready, he knew he really would be just fine, anger issues and all.

THE END

[mulderbabe77]

Partners

Mostly just shameless fluff with a little angst mixed in. Set during season 6’s Arcadia.

Warning: this is a period fic! Periods/tampons are mentioned. If that scares you, then turn back now!

Tagging @today-in-fic

—————————-

She’s running, as fast as she can. Or rather she’s being chased. It’s dark and damp; she thinks she’s in the woods somewhere. She looks to her left and then her right for Mulder, but he’s not there. He’s not anywhere. She can feel whoever is behind her gaining speed, can hear the sound of their ragged breathing. A tree root springs up suddenly from the ground in front of her and she stumbles and falls, hard. Her hands and knees scrape against the rough ground. The chase is over, she has lost. She turns to see who is behind her, heart thumping loudly in her chest, so hard she can feel it -thump-thump-thump- in her ears. She sees Duane Barry’s face coming towards her. Then it morphs into Donnie Pfaster. Then the Smoking Man. He’s come to take her away for more tests.

She awakes with a start, sitting straight up in bed, short of breath and soaked in sweat. She puts a hand on her chest, willing her racing heart to slow. It was a dream, just a dream. She takes in a few shaky, deep breaths.

For a few moments she’s disoriented, can’t place where she is. This isn’t her bedroom, or her house and her heart starts to speed up again. Her brain feels foggy, still half asleep. And then she remembers, Rob and Laura Petrie. They’re undercover in The Falls. In the Klein’s house.

She tries to calm herself again, deep breaths in and out. Her rapid heartbeat begins to slow to a more normal pace. Besides the dream, or nightmare she should call it, something else is wrong. A familiar cramping deep in her abdomen. Menstrual cramps. Her period was coming, or maybe had already arrived, she couldn’t tell yet. She couldn’t think of a worse time for her period to unexpectedly arrive. It wasn’t due now, at least she didn’t think it was, but she should have known better. Her periods are rarely regular since the abduction, coming and going as they choose. And then even more irregular after her cancer treatments, even more than a year or so later they’re sporadic at best.

She heads to the bathroom. Yep, tampon definitely needed. She’s relieved to find an emergency one in her suitcase, but that’s it. She’ll have to hit the drugstore in the morning, which is still a few hours away. It’s only 3am. She balls up her pajamas into a bag of her other dirty clothes. She’ll need to wash them in cold water in the morning.

She re-dresses in fresh pajamas, lays down and tries to go back to sleep. She’s drifting off and straight back to the nightmare she left. This time she sees Eugene Tooms hovering over her. She wakes up panting again 10 minutes later, body broken out in a cold sweat. Her head is pounding, the migraine already taking up residence in her skull, pulsing relentlessly behind her left eye. She’s cramping hard and she feels awful. Ibuprofen. Need ibuprofen, is all she can get her brain to register. She slips out of bed.

The click of the bedroom door wakes him immediately and his eyes flick open to see Scully quietly tiptoeing down the hall trying carefully not to make any noise.

He hears her in the kitchen, shuffling through a box as quietly as one can. He hears the pop of a pill bottle and her shaking some pills out.

He’s on his feet and shuffling into the kitchen. She jumps about 10 feet when she looks up to see him standing in the doorway.

“God, you scared me!”

“Sorry,” he says quietly.

“No, I’m sorry, I was trying not to wake you,” she says shakily. She tosses the pills into her mouth and takes a big gulp from the water bottle in her hand.

“It’s ok, not your fault really. I haven’t been able to get into a deep sleep yet. I keep thinking I’m hearing things. You ok?” He asks, nodding towards the pills. He looks her over carefully, something seems off. She’s pale, and the little tendrils of hair right at her temples are curling and damp with sweat.

“I, uh, I had a nightmare. And I’m not feeling that well,” she stammers, avoiding his eyes.

“Do you have a fever?” He moves to take a step towards her but she shakes her head no and steps back further out of his reach.

“No, it’s not that, Mulder. Go back to bed, I’ll be fine,” she insists and starts to make her way around him.

He doesn’t quite believe her, but it’s 4am, so he’s not going to push it.

“Ok,” he nods, retreating back to the couch.

She heads back to the bedroom, wanting desperately just to curl into a ball and sleep, but sleep won’t come. She lays there in agony for an hour, maybe more. The minutes tick by slowly. She feels sick to her stomach, her body is rejecting the pills she stupidly took on an empty stomach. She wishes she had nibbled on a cracker or something. A little while later she’s heaving into the toilet.

“Scully?” She hears him knock gently, just outside the bathroom door.

“Go away, Mulder,” she pleads.

“I’m not going anywhere if you’re sick.”

He peeks his head in through the door. She’s sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest, leaning heavily against the wall. She reaches up to flush the toilet before he comes any closer and then crumples down onto the floor again holding her stomach.

“Is it something you ate?” He thinks back to everything they’ve consumed in the last 24 hours. He feels fine.

“No, Mulder,” she sighs. “It’s my period, ok? I feel like shit.”

“Oh.” He’s not sure what to say. I mean logically he knows she has periods (he thinks, based on past observations), and because she’s obviously a woman. He’s somewhat aware of female reproductive health, though he’s never given it much thought and they’ve never talked about it in the six years they’ve been partners.

“Is it always this bad?” He can’t imagine her being this sick every month and him never noticing in six years, but then again, he knows that he can be a bit of a self-absorbed prick at times, though he hopes not to that extent.

“No,” she shakes her head carefully, trying to keep the thumping in her skull at bay. “Only sometimes.” She sighs again. She doesn’t want to be having this conversation.

“I need to go to the drugstore. I didn’t bring anything with me. This was....unexpected.” She doesn’t feel like moving a muscle.

“I’ll go,” he offers.

“No, Mulder. You don’t need to do that. I’m a big girl- I can buy my own tampons. I’ve been doing it the past 20 or so years.”

“Scully, don’t take this the wrong way but you don’t look like you’re in any shape to go anywhere right now. Please just go lay down and I’ll be back in 15 minutes. There’s a CVS just up the main road.”

She hesitates. “Please?” He wants to do something for her, anything to make her feel better.

“Fine,” she concedes. She doesn’t have it in her to argue, just climbs to her feet, walks slowly back to the bed and collapses into a ball under the covers.

He strokes her hair softly, “I’ll be right back.”

Somehow Mulder has survived his entire life without ever having to visit the feminine hygiene aisle of a drugstore, or any store for that matter. He mulls over the vast number of choices and ends up seeing a familiar looking box. He’s fairly certain he’s seen this blue and yellow Tampax box in Scully’s suitcase and bathroom before. He grabs the box off the shelf and hurries towards the register hoping not to run into anyone, but today is not his lucky day.

“Rob! What’re you doing out this early on a Saturday?”

Mulder turns and plasters on his best fake smile.

“Win! Hey... buddy.”

“Cami sent me up here to pick up some treats for Scruffy. I like to get an early start to my days. What are you- ahhhh,” he eyes the box Mulder is carrying. “I see the Mrs sent you on an errand as well,” he gives Mulder a reassuring smile.

“Umm... yep. You know how it is,” he smiles awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“You bet I do. Ten years later and I’m still not used to the mood swings, and all that other stuff that goes along with it. Well, you know - it’s like a roller coaster. One minute they’re happy, next thing you know they’re bawling their eyes out, or screaming at you. Then there’s the cramps, backaches, headaches, bloating, fatigue.” Wow, he sure does know a lot about this, Mulder thinks to himself. Win continues on, “But anyway, I’m sure you know all about it yourself.”

“Sure, sure,” was all he could say. Sure he knew Scully could be a bit moody from time to time but he had never attributed it to her menstrual cycle before. He usually attributed it to him being an ass, or to him ditching her.

“Well I better get going, Win. Got to get back to the Mrs,” he says, hoping for a quick escape as he turns on his heel to head toward the register.

“Good luck!” Win calls after him.

Mulder nods and waves goodbye.

He slips quietly back into the house. Scully is still right where he left her, curled up in bed, but not asleep. He sets the bag on the nightstand and perches on the side of the bed next to her, taking her hand in his.

“Is there anything I can do?”

She shakes her head no, eyes closed. “Didn’t bring my heating pad, wish I had,” she mumbles quietly.

“Would that help?”

She nods.

“Hold on, I have an idea,” he gets up and heads towards the kitchen.

A few minutes later her returns with a giant stuffed warm sock. One of his dress socks. He puts it in her hands and she moans at the warmth coming off of it, immediately pushing it down onto her aching abdomen.

“What is this?” She sighs, already feeling some relief.

“A little something my mom showed me years ago for muscle aches when you don’t have a heating pad. Just throw some rice into a big sock and microwave for about a minute and a half and voila- instant heating pad. We just happened to have some rice in our pantry of staged food.”

“This is amazing. Thank you.” She gives him a small smile and squeezes his hand.

“Get some sleep ok?” He squeezes her hand back. She nods, already feeling her eyelids drooping. The warmth on her stomach lulling her to sleep.

He tiptoes out of the room, decides to go shower in the guest bath, start breakfast and look over the case some more.

——————-

She appeared downstairs late morning, showered and dressed and seemingly ready for whatever the day would bring. But he could tell by the way she moved that she wasn’t quite feeling like herself yet. Each thing she did he could tell was precisely planned to use as little energy as possible and every ten minutes or so she would stop to rub her temples or massage her lower back with her hands.

He knew she wasn’t exaggerating when she had so willingly admitted to feeling like shit earlier that morning. It was rare for her to actually admit to feeling poorly. He could count the times on one hand, three of them being during her cancer treatments which had made her feel so sick and weak that she had called in and taken a sick day. There was one other time when she had an awful case of the flu that lasted a week, and then today. So he knew it was serious. She was not one of those people who milked any illness under the sun for sympathy- she was the exact opposite, never admitting or giving in.

Their conversation was limited - she didn’t seem in the mood for small talk or their usual chit chat or playful banter. He was careful to give her space and not hover.

By evening and a few more doses of ibuprofen she seemed to be feeling a bit more like herself. They ordered in takeout for dinner- soup and sandwiches. She had asked for something light.

They were cleaning up when Mulder started a conversion, against his better judgement.

She was standing at the sink washing the silverware from dinner.

“How come you never told me it gets this bad sometimes?” he asked.

“Because, Mulder. It’s just not not something I talk about.”

“You don’t talk about anything with me. Especially anymore,” he says the last part quietly, almost to himself. It sounds like an accusation to her. But it’s true, she’s been very closed off from him lately. She’s put a wall up. He’s noticed and he hates it.

She glares at him across the counter, and he continues on.

“Why is it so hard for you to open up to me?” he pushes.

“You really have to ask that, Mulder?”

“What does that mean?”

He didn’t mean for this to turn into an argument, and she doesn’t want it to be, but that seems to be where it’s headed.

“Sometimes, Mulder, I feel like I just don’t matter to you at all.”

Ouch. That one felt like a dagger through his heart.

She continues on, he’s gotten her fired up.

“You chose her over me, Mulder. Even after all the proof I gathered. Actual data that the Gunmen and I dug up to show you just how sneaky and secretive Diana Fowley has been since you knew her all those years ago. How do you think that makes me feel? How do you expect me to open up to you about anything when you turn around and take her side over mine and just dismiss everything I have to say?”

And she’s crying. She doesn’t want to be, but she is. Too many emotions combined with hormones swirling around everywhere. She can’t help it. Big fat tears are falling down her cheeks and her shoulders are starting to shake.

She’s been holding this in for weeks. Trying not to act hurt.

“Scully...” he takes a few steps towards her and she falls into his chest. Wanting to seek comfort there but furious at herself for doing so. “It’s not like that at all. You have to know I would never choose her over you. Never,” he whispers into her hair.

“Then why does it feel like you did?”

“Scully, listen to me when I say this. Diana is my past and that’s all she’ll ever be to me. If I gave you any idea otherwise, I’m sorry. I reacted poorly when you came at me with all that information. You are the one who has stood by my side all these years. I’ll always choose you over her. Always. Please, don’t ever shut me out. We’re partners,” and she knows he means more than just work partners, though it’s unspoken.

“I know, it just- it hurt Mulder.”

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs into her hair, placing gentle kisses along her forehead and temple.

She’s able to slow her tears after a few minutes and feels a bit foolish when she pulls away from his chest.

“God, Mulder, I’m sorry,” she wipes at her eyes. “I’m just... kind of on an emotional roller coaster today. This is so unlike me.”

“Well I hear that happens during that time of the month. Or at least that’s what Win tells me.”

“What?” She’s really confused now.

“Yeah, I ran into Win at the drug store this morning and he saw what I was buying.”

“Oh God,” she blushes a little bit and winces. “Sorry, Mulder.”

“It’s fine, Scully. That’s what being partners is all about,” he squeezes her hand reassuringly.

“God, I can’t believe we’ve been partners six years and this is the first conversation we’ve ever had about periods,” she remarks and they both laugh out loud.

He secretly hopes it isn’t the last intimate conversation they share. Maybe her walls are coming down.

End

[perdu-en-translation]

sads girl

sad girl they say it gets better sometimes it does not

sometimes and these times often forget their clock and stay every now

because you only know it’s a sometimes when it stops 

and sometimes it seems there is no stop

so it’s an all the time that they know nothing about

the sun isn’t so much a sun as a conscience with no forgiveness 

and your November leaves of orange and gold and boullion 

tell no one how your roots have already Decembered into January 

they will not see the burning almanac you are

and that you're not buckling the concrete you are it

the hard and walked over and sometimes walked around

and no organic left in you they will not see that

and your smile won't seem like a rummage sale 

where you give that last thing away rather than think of a price

and they'll smile back because they think you’ve been a bargain

but you have been wanting that back for so long 

that you're just grateful for another pick through to finally be over 

no one especially understands the nights 

when you go down before that spiteful sun does 

and walk the streets of the city that 

the it gets better people don't see on their map

and the footsteps you hear are not coming towards you 

except maybe the ones wolfing you into run they will not see that

because their mornings are daylight 

not mockery that you are a stubborn bitch 

for still being here as ugly as you think you are 

not and your tears escaped POWs that they are

that’s what they want to tell them 

but your jaw doesn’t know who has the key 

to the vaults of screams

so you are quiet in a world where people already 

love girls most when then shut up

what else are you supposed to do but live

gravity as a sacrament

sometimes there’s that again

the they who get paid to listen sad girls

want to un-sad you by giving you pills

and this is where science wants you to say thank you

but science is not there when medicine spins you into cotton candy

right but your day your classroom your kitchen is run not skip

and why is slow a really useful speed anyway

and how the dead between your legs 

like nobody told you could happen did they

why are they calling this kind of science medicine okay because sad 

and didn’t we decide that sad was already two parts woman anyway

and what can we do about that

and even your girlfriends when you can 

still feel girlfriends won’t get it won’t get it 

like the oh fuck of cramps and what are you supposed to do

normal people shower and still have a favourite blouse

and remember what spongebob sounds like

and you are a sad girl that walks like stepping off bridges

so this is where a they is important

it is not fair the extra that you will have to do

so we can find you in the cave of you

this is where you have to use the last ping

of your black box at the bottom of the sea

 to say I am a sad girl please be in this with me

and even if you are stained don't worry we shower

so we are the uneducated theys and we still love the fucking sun

and that's not fair either so believe that 

no one wants there to be a sad girl especially not you 

and yes we have to be better at not being afraid 

of sad girls but dear god I am talking to the sad part of you who is god 

we will die if you die yes sad girl we will die 

not just some way not just some time 

we will die if you don't say and keep on saying unit till we hear you 

i am a sad girl please god in you too hold me

- by Donny Jackson