#anyways i was the ONLY one who showed up out of like 25+ students

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

How The Fuck Do Classes At Aguefort Work

AKA Brennan gave me a number of students for this school and I am going to use my expert knowledge of being a teacher in real life to extrapolate things

(disclaimer: i am australian and thus my knowledge is limited to the australian school system of how things are arranged, number of students in each class, etc. this is basically how I would organise aguefort if it were up to me)

SO

aguefort has approximately 500 students split across four year levels, making for about 125 per year level, which you could easily split into 5 'homeroom' classes of about 25 students each. Or 31-32 if you wanted to squish them into 4.

But the thing is, we have all the DND Classes to think about, with each class having its own dedicated teacher and specialist class. There are 12 standard dnd subclasses, plus we know that artificer is also an option, making 13.

It's unlikely that any particular year level has all of its students evenly split between those classes (it would be an average of 9-10 per class if they did, which is quite small for a single class, but not unheard of for (using a real life example) elective subjects like business or design tech)

ADDITIONALLY, we do know that 'regular' classes exist at aguefort, like history and home ec, so I'm assuming other typical subjects like maths, english, science (perhaps broken down into chem/bio/physics, maybe not), maybe PE as well for students that aren't part of one of the martial classes, among other things.

Most likely, the school day is arranged so that each student (assuming this student has a typical workload, AKA nothing absolutely bonkers like what the bad kids are doing in junior year) has at least one Class-Specific class per day, and then some general education ones as well, and then perhaps some more adventuring-focused classes like survival + archery or arcana.

That way each class-specific teacher should be able to fit one lesson with each year level a day, because those classes are probably considered far more important than like. Modern History.

DND-Class classes are likely much smaller and more individualised, and then general ed classes would be with a far bigger group.

I also think Aguefort has a lot of composite classes! Particularly for the less popular Dnd-Classes. Freshman+Sophomores together and then Juniors+Seniors together is probably the most common.

I think sorcery classes are often composites, partly because its one that students Literally have to be born to be able to do, so its not one that other students can multiclass Into, so its numbers probably fluctuate a bunch depending on the cohort.

More technical classes like artificer are probably also composites! Simply because I bet they're less popular than things like Fighters, Rogues, so on.

Bards are also absolutely composites, because they are already split within themselves with multiple teachers depending on the students particular focus (like we did with a separate Music class and Dance class with different bard teachers). So I wouldn't be surprised if some bard classes contain freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors all within the one class and still only have like, ten students total because they're that specialised.

I think combined classes also probably happen on a fairly regular basis. Esp if like, teachers call in sick. The fighters will go join the barbarians for a day, or the clerics will join the paladins.

And then of course they don't actually give a shit if you show up to your classes or not so theres probably some poor admin staff out there who painstakingly arranges every schedule at the start of each semester and then 80% of students ignore half of it anyway

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #25] January

warnings: we get jaykay in his student era!!! poor baby is STRESSED!! very wholesome!! b makes him pasta, very lovely <33 until very suddenly it's not!! fingering, mentions of the erotic accordion, lots of teasing. a personal fave!!

wc: 12.5k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

It's a pleasant surprise to see Kim Taehyung with his clothes on. 

His cheeks are still a little warm when he strolls into the art cafe, well aware that it was his other cheeks you'd been confronted with when you'd seen him last.

Hands in pockets, he plays it off. Is cool and casual, in that suave way artists so often are.

"If you're looking for Danbi, we only live together. Don't work together. Think you'll find her at Memorial Park with half a dozen dogs, maybe" you tease.

He rolls his eyes, and continues forward to the main desk. When he reaches it, he leans an elbow down and looks quite at home. Dressed in a pair of dark slacks and cream button-up, he's a business-casual Capricorn's wet dream. It's entirely understandable why Danbi couldn't resist. You're surprised it's taken her this long, if anything.

"If it was Danbi I was after, it'd be Danbi I was with," he assures you, smile ever-present. He's charming; not like a sleazebag, but like a Disney prince. Always says the right thing. "And anyways, I know she's there. Just been there, myself."

You smile, pleased for your best friend.

It makes sense. She's been with him every night since New Year's. Your apartment has actually been a little lonely.

A week on since you were greeted with his bare arse, you're curious as to why Taehyung would be gracing you with his presence. It wouldn't be entirely out of character, but you are also aware that the last time he was here, it was to pitch his art show.

You remind him of this - not that he needs it, as he passes a business card over to you, embossed with a since hangul syllable: 류.

"Ryu?" You ask. "As in the gallery?"

He nods. "Ryu Gallery."

It's mid-size, a little out of town, but well-respected. Was one of the many galleries that simply didn't get back to Tae - but you have an acquaintance who works there. A friend of Seokjin's, actually. Involved in the finance side of the company. Had invited him along because you figured that there was no harm in asking. Didn't really expect him to show up.

Pulling his phone from his front pocket, Taehyung says nothing as he loads up his call history. At the top, there's a red number - one missed call - and a small play button next to what you assume is a voicemail. He presses down on it, and lets it play out.

"Hello, this is Park Shinwon from Ryu Gallery. I was passed your information by one of our colleagues, and was wondering if you had availability for a call regarding your work? We have an opening at the end of the month and are looking for a local artist to fill the space. If you think this could be a good fit for you, please call me back at the earlie-"

Taehyung cuts the voicemail short. You've heard all the important stuff.

There's a smile on your face; one that brewed gently as the memo played out. He'd done it. The write-ups and reviews had been fantastic, and Namjoon had helped get Taehyung a decent spot in the arts & culture section of the local paper, but this is the first solid indication that the show had been prosperous.

"Holy shit," you beam, clapping your hands together in tiny little pats of joy.

"Right?!" He beams right back. Phone locked and back in his pocket, Taehyung's never looked prouder of himself. You don't know him like you know Jimin or Jeongguk, but you know him well enough to understand how huge this is for him. "I can't even begin to thank yo-"

"No!" You laugh, reaching across the counter to squeeze his arm. "Don't you dare. It was your hard work, Tae. You did this! Congratulations!"

A little bashful in the way he looks down, it's clear that he's not used to such high praise. It's something he'll have to get used to, you think. This is just the start for him. He's destined for greats, you're sure of it - but then again, you have unwavering faith in everyone you care about. You'll manifest for them; will their dreams into reality. You're not sure if it works, but it's nice to think it does.

"Did you call back? What did you say?" You enthuse, before a couple comes to the counter with their finished artwork. Gritting your teeth, you cast Taehyung an apologetic smile. "Ah, just give me a moment."

He nods, and tells you to carry on. He knows he's interrupted you at work and feels bad for it. He could have just waited until he came around that evening (Danbi had already asked if he would), but was too nervous about the call.

When you return from packing up the canvases and ringing through the bill, he admits to it.

"Haven't actually called them yet," he grits his teeth together, eyes apologetic. "Didn't know what to say. It's kinda why I'm here."

"Oh?"

"You can say no," he prefaces, "but like... I don't know the first fucking thing about the suit side of the art world. Don't know how to negotiate, don't even know if that is something I need to be doing. I'm a fish out of water. and you're the only person I know - and trust - who seems to have any clue what they're doing."

It's really sweet that he thinks you have any idea at all. You just wing it a solid seventy percent of the time. You have connections, and you have a functioning brain. That's about it.

Still, you'll let him think that you have your wits about you.

"So..." you encourage, trying to coax a proper question out of him. You know what he's asking, but really think that all of Jeongguk's ragtag bunch of friends could do with learning how to ask for what they want. Maybe not Yoongi. He seems to have shit figured out.

"So..." Taehyung imitates, a friendly grin on his face. He's pretty. Really isn't hard to see why Danbi likes him. She's always gone for the artsy types. Likes to be a muse. "I was wondering if you could help me out a bit? Sort of like an agent, but not quite, 'cause I'm poor as fuck and definitely can't afford it."

"Agents work on commission," you tell him. "Or at least some of them do, so it doesn't matter that you're poor now."

"Well, I might never be rich," he warns you.

Taehyung believes in his work. Loves his work. Is yet to have success that reflects this. Other people don't seem to feel as strongly about it, which leaves him with lingering doubt as to whether or not he actually has something , or if it's all a bit of a vanity project. He hopes it's not. Knows that Rome wasn't built in a day, mind you.

It takes dedication. A hard grind. He's got grit and determination, but the doors he's knocked at have been double-bolted. Thinks that maybe you could give him a key.

"I doubt that very much," you say regarding his doubts. 

Of all the work showcased at the last show, it was his pieces that people kept coming back to. His pieces tagged in the art cafe's Instagram by customers. His pieces that sold; that got people interested. You had even had a girl in the cafe on a date a few weeks ago, who painted a replica of one of Tae's prints, which had been hanging on the wall beside her.

He's got talent.

But he knows that's not enough.

"Still, I didn't even realise agents were paid that way. I've no idea what on earth I'm doing, Disco Ball. Not really."

You take a moment to consider the proposition, but you aren't sure why. It's a no-brainer. Of course you'll help him out. You've contacts, thanks to your job, and acquaintances with money to spend thanks to Seokjin. You'll be an invaluable resource for him - and he'd much rather have a friend leading him through this unchartered territory than someone who only cares about numbers and finances.

"I'll make you a deal," you offer. "I'll help you, free of charge, but on one condition."

"Go on..."

You beam; smile so sweet that Taehyung knows your compromise is probably unconventional.

"I get a Kim Taehyung original."

"It won't be worth anything," he laughs. "It's a rotten deal."

"Not yet, maybe, but it will be," you tell him.

Much like Jeongguk's dreams, you believe in Taehyung's, too. Have no doubt he will achieve success. He's a Capricorn. Is just what they do.

"Alright," he agrees. Holds out his hand for you to shake. "I'll give you a free commission. You can redeem it at any time. Anything, any size, doesn't matter. It's yours."

He makes a mental note to revise this deal as you shake his hand. Doesn't think it's entirely fair on you. Thinks that he's benefitting far more from this than you will - but good, original artworks within your budget are hard to come by. You know your future self will thank you for this.

You tell Taehyung to arrange a meeting with the consultant at Ryu Gallery. 

"I'll go with you as a representative; will ask the right questions, stuff like that. The key here is to not sell yourself short or undervalue your work. If you sell a million-dollar piece for a hundred bucks, it'll set a precedent. People will take advantage. It'll be detrimental."

He nods, eager to learn. Willing to listen. Wants to succeed, and will do all he can to make sure it happens.

Departing only after you force him to call Ryu Gallery back and set a date in the calendar for next week, Taehyung is beyond appreciative. Both Danbi and Jeongguk had told him to reach out to you again, but he'd felt a little guilty, almost as if he was taking advantage of how charitable you are.

You don't really see it that way. Figure that if the roles were reversed, he'd do the same for you.

"Oh, just quickly!" Taehyung pipes up just as he reaches the door of the cafe. "The piece up in Jeongguk's living room - the black and gold one." Your face heats up. "Who's the artist?"

"Not sure," you shrug with an inconspicuous purse of your lips. "Why?"

"Jeongguk just said he got it from here," Taehyung explains, your cheeks only getting rosier and rosier. "I really like it so just wondered if it was part of a bigger collection."

"I can check," you say, knowing that there is absolutely no way you're ever gonna produce another one of those. Now that Tae's asking questions about it, you know Jeongguk needs to squirrel it away. The last thing you want is the truth coming out.

"Amazing," he beams.

You smile right back, but let it fade into a groan as he heads down the stairs, the realisation that he's seen the imprint of your tits leaving you mortified.

It's only fair though, you suppose. You have seen his arse, after all. Maybe you are more well acquainted than you realise.

The lives that you and Jeongguk had lived separately for many moons have somehow converged, meeting a diving point of intervention; as if you were meant to live your lives exactly as you have, just for moments like these.

This is only amplified when you arrive at Jeongguk's place after your shift finishes.

On New Year's day, after the creation of his sticky note shrine, origami birds watching proudly, you'd reached an agreement with Jeongguk: each and every one of the sticky notes have to be done by the end of the year.

"What about the birds?" Jeongguk had asked, not wanting to sacrifice them.

You both know the birds hold far more weight. The sticky notes are fun; a chance to experiment freely with somebody who is on the same page as you. The birds are all about preparing yourself to turn the page, so you can meet someone willing to start a new book with you.

Curled up in his bed, while Jeongguk had been sitting on his bedroom floor putting together a display box for a new 'sculpture' (because he refuses, still, to let you call them action figures) that he'd been gifted for Christmas, you had contemplated his question.

"The birds fall naturally," you'd hummed. "They drop when the universe needs them to. The sticky notes are deliberate. We're making the active choice to do them."

Cross-legged, Jeongguk reached over to get a small screwdriver from his bedside table. Your gaze had been up on the birds, but drifted down to him.

"So we'll make the active choice to do the sticky notes, and then just do the birds when they fall?" Jeongguk had clarified, not looking at you as he threaded a small screw into its hole.

"Yeah," you'd smiled. "Like, I come round once a week, and we get a sticky note done. Something like that."

Looking up at you now, Jeongguk had tilted his head in contemplation, pursing his lips before finally nodding. "Shall we say Sundays?"

With a slight sense of trepidation, but the awareness of this being good for you both, you had nodded. "Sundays. Trial it for the month of January. See how it goes."

And so now you're at Jeongguk's place for the first time since New Year's with a clear agenda - and yet all you really want to do is hang out with him. Innocently. Platonically.

"Oh thank God," Jimin breathes out with an overdramatic sigh of relief when he opens the door for you. Shoes on, jacket slung over his shoulders, he's been waiting on your arrival. "Jeongguk- '' he calls back into the darkness. None of the living area lamps are on, the city lights illuminating their apartment instead. "The babysitter is here! I'll be gone till morning. Don't be any trouble."

You roll your eyes, flicking his arm as you step past him into the apartment.

He's heading out for a family event down in Busan. Jeongguk had been intending on going to the city with him, but simply has too much school work to do.

Finals are coming up. He's stressed to the absolute high heavens.

"I will warn you," Jimin says quietly while you take off your shoes. "He's in a foul mood. Has been for, like, three days now. Think it's his time of the month."

"Still baffles me how you're able to pull," you mutter, knowing that any explanations on the intricacies of the menstrual cycle would be wasted on him - only for Jimin to remind you that he pulled you . "Was a moment of weakness," you assure him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say DB," he grins. "Look after him alright? Make sure he eats his veggies and brushes his teeth before bed."

Jimin departs faster than the winter wind that's howling against their windows. You don't even have a chance to question why he's treating Jeongguk like such a child - but as you walk into his bedroom, you sort of see why.

His bed's unmade, and he hasn't showered since, like, Thursday, maybe. Papers are scattered all over his desk, and there's a collection of takeout boxes by his door. The birds that were on his desk are now perched up on the shelf, laying in the middle of his chessboard. Beside them, a pot of your misplaced glitter sparkles in the dim light.

Quite unlike himself, Jeongguk's jaw looks sharper but his cheeks are bloated. You can tell he hasn't been eating nor drinking enough. Has a can of Monster on his desk, but you both know it's not enough to sustain him.

He really does look like a university student now, more than he ever has done before. Glasses on, hair tied in a tiny bun by the nape of his neck, teeth nibbling down on his bottom lip, the stress is evident in his sloped posture.

"Don't look at the mess," he mumbles, embarrassed that you have to see his room in this state, but also too preoccupied to really care.

You meander to his bed and sit down, one leg crossed beneath the other. Smile. "Too late."

"Sorry," he offers, but you shake your head - not that he's looking at you.

"S'fine," you hum. "If tonight is bad for you, we can always resched-"

"No," he says rather sharply, finally turning to look at you. His eyes are all wide and wanting, hating the idea of you leaving so soon, but they're also tired . He needs rest. "No, sorry." He puts down his pen, and turns in his chair a little. "I'm probably gonna be shitty company, but I'd like you to stay."

And so you nod. Of course you'll stay.

"Your hair looks sweet like this," you muse a little mindlessly as you come to stand by him, letting your index finger twirl in the curl that sticks out from the small bun.

His hair is always silky smooth, and you're envious of how well-nourished it is. A little curly, he definitely visits the salon every once in a while. You find it all very endearing, imagining him with a little salon cape around his shoulders, protectors over his ears, curlers in his hair.

"Needs a wash," he simply states, not wanting to dwell on the compliment that makes his tummy feel all funny. He's not really used to such delicate compliments.

Jiyeong would always comment on his physical strength, manliness, shit like that. Hardly surprising, given that she works at the gym. It's not just her though - Hayun's favourite part of him was always his upper arms.

He's no idea what you like about him. What attracts you to him - 'cause as much as you both like to pretend you're a bit repulsed by one another, there's obviously gotta be some sort of mutual attraction. The sex is too good.

Unless, he considers, it's all just chemical. Hormonal shit he doesn't understand, but knows plays an important role in chemistry. Maybe you aren't physically attracted to him at all.

"Wish my hair looked that good when it needs a wash," you sigh.

"I've never seen it look bad," he says, not thinking much of it.

"Well, I'd hope not," you smile. "I do know how to shower."

"I've got some things just to finish up - shit ," he curses as he realises just how much of a mess his room is. "I'm sorry. Been at work today, haven't you? Can grab a shower if you like, or something while I do this."

'This' is test revision. Coursework never really stresses him out, even if he does leave it until the last minute. He has more control over the variables. Exams make him nervous, and if there's one feeling Jeongguk hates, it's nervousness. Figures if he studies and studies and studies, then he'll feel prepared, and the nerves will ease. It never works. Only ever makes it worse.

"You sure?" you ask, though if you're being honest, a shower right now would be ideal. You got paint all over you at work, and while most of it washed off in the sink, you still feel a little less than fresh. "Or is this some backhanded way of telling me my hair looks shit?"

"Oh, 100%. You look awful. But also, yes. I'm sure," he smiles, soft eyes patient as he tries to push the pressure of his studies to the back of his mind. He hasn't seen you all week. Has missed you. Is glad you're here. Kinda hates that he's telling you to leave him, already, even if it's only for twenty minutes or so.

"Gonna join?" You ask, not really thinking much of it. Just a habit, now.

Jeongguk shakes his head. "Will get one later."

There are two distinct halves to Jeongguk's fear of rejection. The obvious, most notable half is the part of him that hates the feeling of being rejected, which prevents him from asking for what he wants. 

Far less discussed is the part of him that feels like he always has to say yes, because he doesn't ever want to make other people feel bad.

Just like he never fears rejection from you, he doesn't fear your reaction to his rejection, either. There's a stable foundation to your friendship. It's good for him.

So used to transactional relationships with the girls he's slept with - on their part, not his - he doesn't really realise that this - what you two have - is normal. It's how it should be.

And so when you smile, and say 'okay', Jeongguk almost expects you to start fighting with him.

It's been a few days since he spoke with Jiyeong ( where it was firmly established that she ended it with him, and that he was the problem, not her) but lingering patterns of behaviour still plague his mind. Feelings of failure still reside in the part of his brain that deals with desire.

You believe him when he says he won't join. Don't try and tempt. Tonight isn't about that - though you do glance over to the myriad of sticky notes on his bedroom wall before you grab his towel. Pay no notice to the fact there's a new one. Just as fluffy - exactly the same, you think - it's still wrapped in a sleek bow with the tag on it.

Maybe he's gotten annoyed with how often you use it. Maybe you're just such a permanent fixture that two seems like a good idea. You don't ask about it.

Instead, you also grab one of his shirts - the one with his hand prints on it. Paint markers have been taken to the shirts since, now outlining where his bones would be. The skeleton hands make you laugh - but they also get you thinking about that shower with him.

Shaking the thoughts from your head, you leave Jeongguk to get on with his studies.

As you start the shower up and relieve your hair from the claw clip it's up in, you aren't too concerned with him joining. You genuinely do want to shower. Leave the door open just in case, but don't wait for him like you did the last time you were in the same position.

It turns out showers are far quicker when you're solo. You leave it without the feel of his hands on your body, but the scent of his strawberry shower gel still stains your skin. Feels like you're perpetually covered in him, in a roundabout way.

Scrunching your hair with his towel as you head back into his room, your clothes are still in a pile on his bathroom floor. You're just in the shirt now, bra foregone, underwear on to maintain some kind of decency.

You don't really greet him, instead heading to the window to take in the view. You're always envious of the skyline. It makes you consider moving closer to the inner city - but you're quite comfortable in your low-rise with Danbi. Plus, you can always just come and hang out here if you find yourself missing it.

Jeongguk says nothing as he comes to stand in behind you; personal space void of any meaning between the pair of you. Chin resting on your head, he drapes his arms over your shoulders.

You whisper a small greeting, and he whispers one back, but neither of you make conversation. Instead, you just watch the traffic roll on by. 

His eyes are down by the traffic lights, watching as a small crowd forms, a red light preventing them from crossing even though the road is clear. Yours are a little higher up, on the motel that is hidden between two skyscrapers. The curtains are mostly all drawn; save for one, where a couple stands in a position hauntingly similar to yours and Jeongguk's. They're smiling. Joking about something. Enjoying one another company - until the person standing in Jeongguk's position draws the curtain shut to keep the world at bay.

Maybe they're friends, too, you hypothesize - but friends don't book in love motels together, and if they do? Well, they certainly don't look like that together.

It's not like it's a new concept to you. You understand the conventions of couples; just think that maybe the line between romantic and platonic is far finer than you previously believed. Reckon that you and Jeongguk have a clear sense of it.

Turning in your spot, you wanna get a read on his face; see if you can gauge what he's thinking, what he's feeling. He doesn't move back as you turn. Stays in position. Doesn't mind the closeness.

Just an inch or so away from you, the proximity forces you to tilt your chin upwards in order to catch his gaze. His own chin is tipped to his chest, looking down at you in the gentlest of ways.

Storm clouds of mascara rest faintly beneath your lash line, and the occasional rivulet of water trails from your hair and down your skin like spring rain. Your typically tempestuous attitude is nowhere to be seen; docile in the calm of Jeongguk's mellow summer air.

Silent as the pads of his fingers stroke down the side of your neck, you're well aware of the fact you're not really breathing. Are too consumed by trepidation. Fearful and yet hopeful of what's to come. His firmly pouted lips part slowly - but he doesn't lean down.

Instead, his fingertips hook beneath the chain around your neck, and slowly begin to twist it back into position. The clasp had fallen to the front, excess chain tangling around the charm.

Jeongguk holds the dainty silver bird where it should be, between your collarbones, his touch feathery as he preens you.

Cautious and yet entirely confident, he doesn't mean to steal your breath - but it's only fair. You took his first.

His lip purse. Fold in on themselves. Lip ring does the thing. Adam's apple bobs as he swallows back a feeling he doesn't quite know what to make of.

And then he simply nods. Steps a little further back. Smiles. "There. Much better."

A discreet smile ghosts your lips as he turns away from you to get back to his work. Revision always gets him in this weird of constant contempt; stressed at the world around him even when he needn't be. Gets him antsy. Agitated.

His stress manifests in hunched shoulders and restless legs which jitter beneath his desk.

He tries to ignore the twinge of guilt in his chest as you leave the room without a word. Knows that he must be terrible company. Wonders why he can't just express himself normally.

Contrarily, you worry that Jeongguk just wants to be alone, and that your presence is overbearing. He could have cancelled plans if he wanted to. You wouldn't have minded. Sure, you've missed hanging out with him, but it's not the end of the world. Is probably good to have a little bit of a breather from one another every now and again.

Fixated on the fact you feel like a bother, you set about making yourself useful. He looks like he hasn't had a decent meal in a good while, and the boys keep their fridge remarkably well-stocked for a couple of bachelors with a penchant for nightlife.

Jeongguk listens out for you, still doing his work. Can hear you rummaging about in the fridge, and wonders what on earth you could be doing. Figured that the pair of you would just order in, or something like that.

Truthfully, you'd thought the same - but they've got a stockpile of tomatoes, and chicken that needs using. Without Danbi at home much this week, you've overindulged in take-out and snack foods a few too many times. You need a good meal just as much as he does. 

Glancing over to the hob, you check the pasta in the glass jar next to Jeongguk's chopping board. They're out of spaghetti, save for maybe ten strands, but thankfully have a full jar of rigatoni.

You know you can thank Jimin for the decanted pasta. The more you learn about him, the more you understand why his bedroom is so bare despite his job. He calls it 'intuitive interior design' - making life easy for himself through deliberate choices. It's why his bedroom is so streamlined. Less clutter means he can reset his brain more easily.

The living space is where the colour of the apartment is - Tae's paintings, photobooth strips, feather boas stolen from Dionysus - but the kitchen is laid out in a way that makes things easy for both of the boys.

You set about getting the things you might need, not really caring to ask Jeongguk's permission. Whatever you use, you'll happily buy again in the morning, but also highly doubt he'll ask you to. At least this way, he won't have to waste perfectly good ingredients on account of them rotting away in the bottom of the fridge.

You're chopping the tomatoes by the time Jeongguk comes to stand in his doorway. 

Leaning against the frame, a hand in his pocket, a soft smile on his lips, he's a little confused. Just watches as domestication becomes you; stars forming on your cheeks when the low glare of the overhead lights hits you just right. Hair still a little damp, it's up with a claw clip, small strands framing your face. You've the speaker on quietly, not wanting to disturb him. Some song he doesn't know by an artist he doesn't recognise plays. All he knows is that he likes it. Likes how comfortable this feels.

Jeongguk has missed you. Has been working to the point of exhaustion, but unable to sleep whenever he goes to bed. Looking at you now, he tries to stifle a yawn. Is glad you haven't noticed his presence, 'cause he knows the face he just pulled wasn't pretty.

But he thinks you are.

The fact he feels like he could sleep now? A curse, he decides. Doesn't wanna sleep. Wants to spend all evening catching up with you.

You're using the side of the knife to gather the chopped tomatoes together, and scooping them into a bowl, when you finally notice him.

"Hey," you say, a smile present as always. Such a simple word, but such a comforting one, too.

"Hey," he smiles back. "Watcha doin', B?"

"Baking a cake," you joke as you begin to peel some garlic from a bulb.

"Mhmm? Tomato cake," he says, pushing off the doorframe with his shoulder and making his way to the kitchen island. He stands opposite you, resting his elbows on the counter, chin in his hands. "My favourite."

The way your eyes sparkle under the warm lights that hang down from the ceiling has Jeongguk thinking of the stars again. His are all starry too, but you think that's just normal for him.

"Good," you say. "I'm making you your very own tomato cake. You have to eat it all ."

"I will."

"You better."

"Every last crumb," he nods - and even though tomato cake sounds absolutely repulsive to him, his stomach rumbles. Makes you laugh.

"When did you last eat?" you ask as you turn to the hob to fetch some spices off the rack.

Jeongguk mumbles. Says he doesn't really remember. Your eyes are sympathetic, frown present when you face him again.

"Gotta look after yourself," you tell him.

"I know. I will. I am - it's just, this exam, Byeol... I'm bricking it."

You had figured as much, but it's nice to have him confirm it instead of letting your assumptions take the lead.

"S'why I chose a coursework exclusive degree," you tease, trying to lighten his mood. "Was heaven."

"I'm so glad we didn't know each other back then," he laughs. "Would have resented you so badly."

You grimace, and give him a look he doesn't understand.

"You're BEM boy," you explain, shortening his Business and Events Management course name to the acronym that it's more commonly known by on campus. And then you shudder. "We wouldn't have been friends."

"Oh, bullshit," he protests. He knows boys on the full-time BEM course have a reputation amongst the alumni. Fuckboys . He's part-time, though. Doesn't run with those crowds. Is a good few years older than most of them, now.

"Nope," you argue back, still pottering about the kitchen, adding more ingredients to the saucepan. "If you'd have been in uni at the same time as me, I'd have avoided you like the plague."

"Would have been your loss."

Doesn't wanna blow his own trumpet, but knows that he looked damn good at 21. Considers it his peak. Forgets 23, and the amount of girls falling at his feet (was too busy at the time, face down by Hayun's feet instead). Simply doesn't realise how good he looks now, at 25.

Maybe 18-year-old Jeongguk was a little awkward, granted, but everyone is at that age. Whenever he used to visit his friends on campus for nights out, the girls they knew would always want to go out with them.

It's actually how he met Hayun. Was 19, and Taehyung had just done a project with her and Nabi for some extra credit. She came on a night out, and he got so nervous around her that he decided to black out just so he didn't have to feel the nerves. He'd woken up the next morning face down in a kebab box on the floor of Nabi and Hayun's dorm.

He resigned himself to the friend zone, and for a while, it had worked. For years, in fact. Convinced himself that they really were just friends. Best friends. Had offered to shag her after she'd spent a solid twenty minutes complaining about the fact she hadn't had sex for long she may as well have been a born-again virgin. Was just joking - but when she called his bluff, Jeongguk folded.

Maybe it wouldn't have been your loss at all. 

Maybe you'd have never become friends, like you are now. 

Maybe you both had to live through your traumas to be able to find one another.

You just scoff, unaware of memory lane taking Jeongguk down an unfavourable path. " Sure . My first uni hook-up was with a guy doing BEM. Trust me. I would have avoided you."

"Oh?" Jeongguk questions. "Do I know him?"

Shaking your head, you turn to place the pan on the stovetop, and let it heat up. "Doubt it. Was a final year when I was a fresher, so would have been gone way before you started."

Jeongguk's brows furrow, now. "When you were a fresher? A final year?"

Humming confirmation, you carry on with your cooking.

"He was supervising the fresher's bar crawl," you explain. Can't even remember his name, now. Can barely remember anything about that night. "Was leading my team. I lost against him in a drinking game. Really couldn't handle my drink back then. Anyways, I ended up in some off-campus house with the most vom-inducing hickies known to man."

"So you were drunk?"

It sounds a little accusatory. He doesn't mean to. It's just that he deals with creeps taking advantage of drunk girls all the time. Hates it. Hates thinking it happened to you.

"Yeah?"

"And he wasn't?"

"He was less so. Was still drinking, but yeah, it wasn't my best decision."

The way you shrug it off frustrates Jeongguk. His lips purse a little, and the dimples reserved for moments of contemplation deepen in his cheeks.

"You know what it's like when you're eighteen," you continue, facing away from him, unaware of his obvious contempt. "First taste of freedom and all that. Think you're invincible. And like, I made worse choices that year," you add, as if that's supposed to soften the blow of what you've just told him.

His tummy feels all twisted; as if his body is trying to manifest the concept of time travel just so he can go back and apply for university when everyone else did. Wants to have been your friend right from the start. Wants to erase the reality of creeps taking advantage of you.

"Still a kid at eighteen," he says. Strange, how he doesn't afford his past self the same kindness. "It's so young."

You shrug, turning back around to retrieve the extra vegetables for the sauce. "Easy to think that, looking back. Thought I had the world figured out, at the time. The older I get the more naive I realise I was."

Funny, how years and years later, you feel more clueless than you ever did back then. Relationships were black and white; you either loved someone, or you didn't.

Now, the concept of love you once knew isn't one that you're entirely sure you believe in. Not in the same way you did.

"Anyways, you should shower," you say, moving the conversation along. No point dwelling on pasts that make no difference, now. "You look like shit."

He reaches over to one of the spare tomatoes and throws it in your direction. Smiles when you try to swat it away, only for it to hit your neck regardless.

"Charming as always, Byeol," he says a little dryly, but with his smile still wide.

"Well, you do," you assure him, face straight, eyes earnest.

"Show up at my place, use my hot water, start rummaging around in my fridge-" he says with a tsk .

" You invited me," you scoff right back. " Told me to shower, and I'm cooking for you . Christ alive. You really are unbearable today."

The grin on Jeongguk's face is so pretty, eyes so sparkly, that you think you want to kiss him again. Silly little thought in your silly little head. Silly, and improper, and dangerous. Disastrous, in fact.

"And," you add on, because you know you need this conversation to end. "You stink. So go and get a shower, you horrible boy."

Feeling somewhat challenged, Jeongguk lifts his arm above his head and nestles his nose right into his pit. Inhales, as if he's smelling freshly baked pie. Smiles. "Ahhhh. Delicious."

You gag.

"You wanna smell?" he offers, leaning a little further on the counter, face sweet as he encourages you. The look of repulsion on your face is exactly what he was after. "Yeah?"

"Keep that pit away from me," you warn, holding up the knife you had used to chop the tomatoes.

Despite the threat, Jeongguk edges around the kitchen island. "Yeah? Wanna smell?"

"Stay the fuck away!"

"Wait, I didn't hear you. You said come closer?"

"Gguk!"

For all your protests, the knife is back down on the counter. You tossed it down so you could run from him, but you're not really trying all that hard.

You'll pretend like you are. Wriggle from his grip when he catches you. Try and hide your laugh as he tries to quite literally smother you. Will pinch his nipple through his shirt as a form of defence. Will gag, and whine, and pretend like this is the worst experience of your life.

But in the comedown of Jeongguk's chase, you both giggling, caught in an embrace that is far too close, sauce simmering away without a care, you'll notice the stars in his eyes again. Count the constellations. Forget how to breathe, as if you really are in space without any oxygen.

"You smell like a sweaty ballsack," you tell him with absolute certainty.

Yet your grip on his shirt doesn't ease.

"You look like a sweaty ballsack," he counters. Swallows.

Neither of you pull away. Apparently, you're both partial to a sweaty ballsack. Who'd have thought?

On a fundamental, human level, you're aware that Jeongguk doesn't smell great. He is sweaty and definitely has worn that shirt for like, three days in a row, but... you like it. Oh it's disgusting . Really fucking horrid. Rancid, even.

"Shower," he just says, softly, as if he's reminding himself of what he needs to do.

You nod. "Shower."

But your hands are still holding the sides of his shirt, and his eyes can't seem to focus on yours because they keep dropping to your lips, and then his breathing is all over the place and so is yours and - fuck .

Loosening your grip, you pat the front of his chest. He doesn't move. Just closes his eyes. Nods.

"I need to check the sauce," you whisper. "Go. Shower."

And so he does as he's told. You keep yourself busy tinkering about until you hear the shower start up - at which point, you rest your palms on the counter and let your head hang between your shoulders. Sigh deeper than Marianas Trench. Shake your head. "Stupid."

You're unaware, but he's doing the exact same thing by the bathroom sink.

It had been fine. It had been fun. Why did I have to linger like that? Why did I have to make things weird? Why am I always making things so awkward?

He tosses his clothes down on the pile by the door, his on top of yours, and instantly feels a little bit better when the water hits his skin. Tries not to dwell on it, 'cause if he pretends moments like those don't happen, he won't have to deal with them. Will gaslight himself into thinking it never happened.

You're on the couch by the time he's done with his shower, legs curled up, pasta cooked and waiting in a covered saucepan for him.

"Not eating?" he asks as he notices there's no evidence of you having pasta on the coffee table.

Glancing over to him, you're reminded of post-shower Jeongguk and why the concept of it is so dangerous for you. Towel wrapped around his waist, water trailing down his abs... Yeah. You lose your mind a little. Think that any sane human would also lose theirs.

"I, uh-" you pause. Swallow. "Um. Sorry. Eat?"

"Yeah," he smirks, a little bemused. Figures you were lost in the show you're watching. Still in his shirt, your hair is pretty much dry, now, slight waves framing your face while the rest of it is still pinned back in a claw clip. You really do need to decide what you're doing with the colour. The bleach is growing out far faster than you thought it would, but you can't commit yourself to getting rid of it. Jeongguk likes the slightly messy nature of it all. Thinks it suits you. "No pasta?"

"Oh," you enthuse when you realise what he was asking. "Was just waiting for you."

He apologises. Says you should have started without him. Says he wouldn't have minded it, and thanks you again for cooking. "Smells amazing."

Quick to throw on some clean clothes, Jeongguk shoos you out of the way when he gets back to the kitchen and finds you about to plate up. Insists he does it. You've done all the hard work. He's happy to wash up, but he wants to at least contribute now.

Jeongguk takes a single bite of the pasta before he stands up, retrieves the saucepan and a heat mat, then sets it down on the coffee table.

"You okay there?" you laugh, a little puzzled by him.

When he turns to look at you, as if you've betrayed him. "You never told me you could cook, B."

He had been expecting a regular, run-of-the-mill tomato pasta - nothing wrong with that, he would have enjoyed it - but this? Oh, this is as close to heaven as humans get through food. It's rich and spicy, but also a little sweet and tangy when it needs to be. The rigatoni is cooked just right. Just how he likes it.

"You can't?" You laugh, digging into your own bowl. Admittedly, it is banging. Your favourite comfort recipe, you're quietly overjoyed that he likes it.

He shakes his head to say no. Has always enjoyed cooking. Knows he'll have to make you his signature pork belly one day. If you end up staying tonight (which he's hoping you will, even if he is awful company at the moment), he'll cook breakfast.

"I can - I just... fuck me, Byeol," he almost moans. "This shit is good."

Jeongguk's always had a good stroke game, but when it comes to stroking your ego? Yeah, he ain't bad at that, either.

He also isn't bad at turning himself into a literal human hoover. It's a miracle he doesn't choke, or get heartburn. He's already nearly polished off the leftovers from the pan before you've even made it halfway through your bowl (of which he had filled to the brim, because portion control with a body like his doesn't apparently matter).

Pasta eaten - or in Jeongguk's case, absolutely demolished - he allows himself the luxury of switching off for the first time all week. Other than a quick gym session here and there, or coffee with Hayun towards the start of the week, he hasn't taken a moment to relax at all.

You're rabbiting on about something inconsequential, just letting him exist. You know it's been a hard week. The television plays in the background, big light turned off, your feet in his lap. He stokes a little mindlessly over your ankle, self-soothing for him and just as comforting for you. He's meant to be listening, but zoned a little while ago.

Initially, he was thinking about the weird moment between you both in the kitchen earlier, but tried to get it out of his head.

Ends up thinking about the BEM twat you mentioned earlier, instead. Thinks you've got horrible taste in men - or at least, in hookups. He knows both he and Jimin could be classified in that category, but he disregards that. Or at least, he disregards himself .

At least he makes you orgasm. If he asks, will probably be horrified by the amount of times you've gone without one during intercourse. It's not always, but often. Never with him though, which is nice.

Scares you a little bit. The idea of the best sex of your life being with someone who isn't romantically involved with you just doesn't sit right. What if you fall in love and Jeongguk is still the best you've ever had? Will you be comparing? It's a variable you're yet to test out. One that worries you.

But all Jeongguk can think about is the fact that you're his friend. And he cares about you. And he thinks you deserve to feel good. And knows he can do that. And that he wants to do that. And so, quite suddenly, Jeongguk interrupts you.

"Can I get you off?"

You almost choke on your own spit. Had been explaining a new discovery of ancient mammals using tools for hunting and cooking. Not the most enticing topic of conversation, to say the least.

"Sorry?" You laugh, taken aback by the sudden request.

He looks away. Looks at his hands. Looks back at you. Wishes he wouldn't let the impulsive thoughts win, sometimes.

But then, because apparently he's a fucking idiot with no self-control, he asks again. "Can I get you off?"

The answer is always, unabashedly, yes . You've been caught off guard though. Panic. Ask, "Why?"

He shrugs. Looks at his hands again, eyes wide, brows furrowed. Wants to pour boiling water in his ear to melt his brain. Would probably work better if it was mush, he thinks. A reply to your question sits on the tip of your tongue, but there are too many variations for him to choose from - Because you deserve it. Because I'm horny. Because I want to. - so he just says: "fun."

And, like, he's not wrong. It is fun. You just thought it would be the last thing on his mind, given how stressed and sleepy he's been.

"I mean, do you want to?" you laugh, a little hot beneath the shirts of his that you're wearing by the mere suggestion of it.

He shrugs. Thinks it's a stupid question. Nods. "Get your minge out."

The horror plastered all over your face wouldn't be out of place in a Hitchcock film.

"Get my minge out?!" You hiss, your repulsion only second to shock.

"Yeah," he smirks. Is deliberately being vulgar because it's funny, and he needs this to be anything but romantic. Will lose his fucking head if he starts thinking about stars and constellations and shit like that again - but fuck . Even after a shower, you're covered in glitter! He can never fuckin' win. Is in a constant state of war with his own head. How can he ever expect to win against the milky way in human form? You'll eclipse him one day, and he'll enjoy every second of it.

"It's almost like you don't want me to get wet," you tell him, as if you didn't feel a slight twinge in your stomach when he smirked. Wasn't your fault. His lip ring did the thing. You're only human. Was bound to happen.

"I think you're already wet," he says all rather plainly.

"That's beyond the point."

It's a satisfying answer. One that makes him feel all smug. Gets his cock a little twitchy.

"Look, I'm stressed, B," he admits. "There's so much going on in my head that I can't think straight. Getting you off is, like, a stress reliever."

You furrow your brows. "Surely getting yourself off is a stress reliever?"

"I can do that at the same time, if you want?" He says, cheeky in the way he raises his eyebrows and toys with his lip ring.

"You are such a boy."

"So is that a no?"

That's the thing about you and Jeongguk; you'll never reject him.

In fact, it's probably quite futile for his whole fear of rejection thing. That'll be a thought to battle with later, though.

"It's an 'ask nicely' ."

Jeongguk gently squeezes your ankle, before getting to his feet and piling the pasta bowls into a neat stack. "Let me just wash up, alright?"

You watch him as he walks away not even waiting for a response. He does it often; wants your approval of things he's already determined to do. It's sweet, in a way. Could be frustrating, given the right circumstances, but it hasn't been so far. You just kinda keep your gaze on him, confused at how a man so reserved and cautious in one moment can be so reckless and charming in the next.

"Byeol?" He hums, flicking on the tap and reaching for the dish soap.

"Hmm?" You hum right back.

"Go wait in my room."

It takes you a second or so to follow his commands. Earns a minuscule plea from him. "Please, B."

You can't refuse him. Not really. Never have been able to.

His room is still a mess. Glitter-tarnished pillows clue you into the fact that he hasn't washed his sheets since new years - but then you remember the fact he definitely changed the bottom sheet. Colour floods to your cheeks, memories of that night crashing to the forefront of your mind.

You try to forget about it. Forget the kisses. Forget the way it sounds when Jeongguk calls you ' baby '.

This? Now? Nothing more than a stress reliever. ' Fun '.

You neaten up his bed, and tuck the takeout boxes out of sight. Turn on his cosmic mood lamp, but leave the curtains open. You preen yourself in his mirror. Realise there's something missing, so retrieve the little pot of glitter from his shelf.

The remains of the day's glitter are all over your skin, but the shower had cleansed your eyes of it. Makes you feel naked. You hate it - so quickly stipple a little in your inner corners and beneath your lash line.

It's funny. When you take off the shirt of his that you're wearing, and toss it over the back of his chair a moment later, you don't feel naked. Feel perfectly yourself. A glitter girlie through and through.

Jeongguk stops in his tracks as soon as he reaches his door frame. You're standing on the other side of his bed, a coy smile on your lips

"Fuck."

His eyes are all over you, tongue wetting his bottom lip before his teeth press down on it. Something about your body really gets him. It's likely the memories - knowing how your skin tastes, how soft your tits are and how hard your nipples can get, the pressure of your lips on his neck - that gets him even stiffer in his sweats.

He really underestimated the consequences of telling you to get your minge out. Should have thought about that.

"You're gonna kill me one day," he mutters as you get onto the bed with almost feline elegance. He walks a little closer. Meets you by the corner of his mattress. Doesn't object as you palm him through his sweats. Sighs into your touch. "God."

Perfectly poised to suck his dick, you both know that you could. He wants it. Wants it so badly he can't even begin to articulate a request.

But it's not about him. Not even when your lips press pretty kisses against the outline of his cock.

He's making you cum. He has to. Will die if he doesn't.

"On your back," he husks. "Spread your legs for me."

There's a pout on your lips, but you do as he says. When your back hits his sheets, your tits pillow on your chest, perfectly round and desperately in need of his lips around your nipples. Legs open for him, one of your hands dips to your pussy while the other cups one of your boobs. Middle and forefinger spreading your wet lips for him, you feign a little innocence.

"This what you want?"

All he can do is nod, eyes transfixed on just how good you look. Wetness seeps from you, covering you in the most glorious sheen. You're always so wet for him. So ready. So willing.

You massage yourself a little for him. Toy with your clit. Whine probably more than you really need to.

Standing at the end of his bed, cock furiously hard in the strained material of his sweats, Jeongguk wraps his hands around your ankles. Yanks you further down his bed. Gets you all giggly.

He doesn't loosen his grip straight away. Instead, he lifts your legs. Rests your heels on his shoulders. Reaches down to squeeze your boobs. Grunts. "Fuckin' tits, man."

You're grinning, still. "What of them?"

He shakes his head. Grins, too. "Fuckin' corrupted me."

"You want them in your mouth again, don't you?" You tease - but are quickly put back in your place when Jeongguk sinks a finger into your hot cunt. "Fuck."

"Keep playing with yourself," he says, before getting all shy. He's about to admit how much he likes your tits. Again . As if you don't already know. Cringes. Tilts his head to the side, nose nestling against your foot. Smiles. Looks back at you with shame and sin all over his starry features. Sinks a second finger into you. "Yeah, I wanna suck them. So fuckin' bad."

His fingers are slow as they work their way into you. In. Out. Push. Pull. It's heaven. Slow. Deep. Just like Jeongguk's eyes and the way they study the pleasure on your face. He's taking his time.

You draw dainty little circles on your clit, not wanting to take the focus away from the feeling of his fingers. The combination is lethal; the furrowing of Jeongguk's brows a trigger that could set you off at any given moment.

Something about his work ethic really gets you. He puts his all into the things he does. Wants to be the best. Endeavours to always get top marks. The way he's cramming for his exam? Yeah. It's hot. His determination? His drive? So incredibly sexy. It comes as no surprise that he's got similar prowess for making you come undone. He reads your body. Understands that the tight closing of your eyes is pleasure, not pain. Knows that the flexing of your calves against his chest, the pointing of your toes by his ears, means he's stroking at the right spot; curling his fingers just right.

His spare hand strokes up your leg. Grips your ankle, his thumb lacing itself beneath your anklet. Your head pushes back into his sheets, spine arching for him.

"Yeah?" he encourages as he continues stroking up against your front wall. "Does it feel good?"

Eyes still closed, you nod. Whimper.

A little more pressure on your clit would make you come. You aren't doing it 'cause you want this feeling to last, but you're already so close. He knows exactly how to get you on edge. Finds your weak points and exploits them for his own pleasure; the satisfaction of giving you an orgasm.

"Good," he husks, pressing his lips against the side of your foot, just cause he needs to do something with them. Fucks his fingers into a little deeper. Slower. Is dulcet as he says, "wanna fuck you so bad."

"Do it," you whine. "Fuck me. Please."

You can hear the tiny little nose breath he does as a soft smirk graces his lips. Can feel them against your foot as he shakes his head and whispers, "no."

You whine. Pout. "Gguk-"

But then he builds speed. Is so fast you can barely breathe let alone speak. Makes your entire body shake.

"That's it," he keens. "Keep rubbing your clit. You're gonna cum for me."

"Gguk."

"You're gonna cum."

Thing is, it's not a command. It's an observation. He can feel you getting tighter; feel the familiar clamp of your hot muscles against his long fingers. Knows that this is what precedes heaven on earth.

All you can do is nod. "Gonna cum."

Your hips roll up into his touch, desperate to be as full of him as you can be. As you press down on your clit, the way Jeongguk shallows his finger to directly hit your g-spot has you mewling. His fingers are fast as he repeatedly motions them upwards, the knot in your stomach growing tight and tighter and tighter - until, gradually, eventually, but all very suddenly, the rope snaps entirely.

Your orgasm washes over you like tidal waves, throbbing walls tightening around Jeongguk's fingers, your spare hand grabbing at his wrist to both stop him and keep him in place. It's too much and not enough all at the same time. You continue applying pressure to your clit as writhe in his sheets.

Jeongguk watches on, jaw slack, eyes hungry. He could watch this all day; how the creases between your brows don't ease, not even when your lips curl into a smile. How your chest heaves, and your legs jolt. God. He wishes you were a part of his exam. He'd pass with flying colours.

"You good?" He asks a little too fondly, smiling down at you.

Laughing to yourself a little, you cover your eyes with your forearm. Nod. "Good."

But you're also not done.

There's a plethora of sticky notes on his wall, and you're pretty sure Jeongguk hasn't had a release in a fair few days. He needs this more than you.

And so when you tell him to pick a sticky note, he doesn't waste time. Goes for one at waist level - figures you probably put it up, not him.

Turning back to face you, the sticky note affixed to his index finger as he reads it, his brows furrow. Face contorts. Head tilts to the side.

"What the fuck is an erotic accordion?"

—

"I don't ever wanna see you in that position again," Jeongguk shudders, decidedly not finding anything erotic about being positioned like a fucking accordion.

The mechanics of it all just do not do it for him. It's not even so much the awkwardness of you, but himself. Didn't like seeing himself in that position. Has never been so aware of his own legs during a shag. Weirded him out.

You snort. "Please - I think it was the least sexually attracted to you I've ever been."

Jeongguk toys with his lip ring, tattooed arm folded across his chest, sheets pooling just beneath his belly button. Back against his headrest, all of his pillows are on the floor. They'd just gotten in the way earlier.

You're on your back, legs up against his headrest, both mirroring and subverting his position. On top of the sheets, you're wearing one of his shirts to cover your modesty.

"So you admit it," he teases with a raise of his eyebrows as you look over towards him. Wish there were still pillows on his bed so you could hit him with one. "You do think I'm hot."

"Not when you're positioned like that," you tease right back.

It's all in good humour. Neither of you are taking any offence. The whole point of these sticky notes is to find out what you do and don't like - the erotic accordion? Yeah. You'll file that one under 'not again'.

Although the more Jeongguk thinks about it, the more open he is to it.

"Felt pretty good, though."

The position, which had been one of your sticky notes, involved him laying on his back with his knees to his chest. The thought of it now makes you giggle. He looked quite cute, all things considered. Submissive. Shy.

He's got that pensive face of his on, looking straight ahead at his desk. There's an assignment open on his dual screens, and he does need to get back to it soon, but he's making the most of a short break with you. 

His lips ring does the thing as he nibbles down on his bottom lip.

You move your leg a little to tap his head with your foot, getting his attention.

"Mhm?" he hums, eyes still unfocused.

"Did it really feel good?"

He nods. Looks at you now. Smirks, but tries to hide it. Shrugs his broad shoulders, collar bones catching on the light of his monitors. Dark outside, they're the only thing lighting up the room now that his lamp is turned off.

"Can't get that deep," he simply states. "There's, like, a lot going on around the tip. It's the most sensitive part, isn't it? So yeah."

You've always been a deep penetration girlie, but even you have to admit the shallowness of his cock pushing into only just your entrance before pulling out again felt really nice. Completely different to what you're used to - especially from him.

Glancing down his chest to where his hand rests over his crotch, you assess the situation. The sheets cover him, but you know he's a little hard beneath them.

You adjust slightly. Press your thighs together, heels against his wall.

With a hearty sign, you feign a little boredom. "Fine. I'll fuck you again."

"Sorry?" He almost giggles. Teeth on show, nose a little scrunched, he doesn't understand you, sometimes. Enjoys it, though. Likes how you aren't taking the sticky notes seriously.

It alleviates him of the pressure that would come with doing these things with anyone else, he thinks.

He knows that's the whole point of them - try these things with you, so that he doesn't have to fear rejection of asking for them with anyone else - but he's surprised at how well it seems to work.

Then again, he's not yet put any of them into practice.

Unaware of his complex thoughts, yours are far more simple: you're still horny.

The accordion really isn't all that erotic. You didn't finish. Didn't care for reciprocation, 'cause Jeongguk's got a wall full of sticky notes, and it's only just gone midnight. You know you'll be coming undone at least once more tonight - if Jeongguk's track record is anything to go by, it'll be plenty more.

Tapping his head with your foot again, you smile as his hand wraps around your ankle.

"Stop," he mumbles, nose resting on the top of your foot, lips pressing against the side of it.

You bite down on your bottom lip, a little flustered from heavenly his chocolatey eyes appear. He keeps his grip on your ankle and pulls it over his lap, encouraging your body to twist. Dragging you to straddle him, reverse cowgirl style, Jeongguk isn't shy about the fact he's hard again.

"You're so easy," you simper, slinking down like a cat, back a little arched, arms straight out ahead of you. His hands push his shirt up, and grips the soft flesh of your hips, pulling you a little further up his lap. You automatically find yourself grinding a little against him. Force of habit.

"Me?" He murmurs, gripping your ass now. He's a little rough with it. Fingers strong. You half think he's gonna spank you - but then he sinks his middle finger straight into your cunt. Still wet and wanting after the sex, Jeongguk enjoys teasing you. Likes keeping you keen. It's fun. He pulls the entire length of his finger out from you. Licks it clean. Keeps his hushed groan quiet. Fingers you again. Pulls out, again. The sound of him intruding and leaving is so satisfying. He does it again. Again, again. You're a little whimpery. "I'm the easy one?"

"Mhmm," you whine as he pushes into you again, still a single, long finger. He holds it there this time. "So easy."

The way you're positioned right now has him wanting to act on his ass-guy impulses. You kind of knew it would. He got you into this position far too easily for it not to have been something he's perfected over the years.

"Can I?" He husks, not wanting to ask the full question, hoping you'll understand.

You do. You know exactly what he wants. Wanna give him the green light without hesitation - but you're supposed to be helping one another.

"Ask properly," you say, voice contorted with the anticipation of pleasure. "Ask for what you want, Jeongguk."

"Mhh," he groans. The hand that isn't currently occupied with your pussy squeezes the soft mound of your ass. "I hate it when you make me do this."

It's almost like he's forgotten how often he makes you directly ask for things.

Your hips roll for him, Jeongguk's fingers still inside. Can't help but moan. "Gotta do it, Gguk. Gotta open yourself up for rejection."

He knows you won't say no. Knows rejection isn't on the table here, and yet he sort of worries about it, still. This is something he wants. Something he's expressed desire in; exclusively his.

Jeongguk lowers his head. Presses a kiss to where his hand was once squeezing your ass. Rests his forehead there. Groans.

"You know I want it," you husk, encouraging him. "All you gotta do is ask. Use your big boy words."

He just whines again. Is deliberately dramatic when he says, "Don't say shit like that, Byeol. I'll cum in my pants."

With a soft laugh, you turn back to look at him. Your faces are both partially obscured by the positioning of your body, but your eyes are able to meet. He's pouting. Eyes wide. Looks as if he's telling gospel truths.

"You're not gonna cum in your pants," you tell him, knowing he's a big fat liar. He's probably not even ready to go again, yet.

"No," he admits. "But I might die.

Rolling your eyes, you grin as you regain your former position. "So you want your dying words to be that of a coward, huh?"

He sighs. Knows you're right. Fucks his finger into you even deeper, stroking at your walls. Gets you a little whiney .

"Wanna eat your ass, " he gruffs, spreading your cheeks a little with his spare hand. You're on display for him, the tight muscle he's dying to get his tongue on just waiting there patiently; pristine. "Let me. Please ."

And then, quite unexpectedly, you free yourself from his grip. Pull away.

Turn to face him, and smile with a grin Jeongguk knows is trouble.

"No."

Lips hanging ajar, Jeongguk looks like he's just been hit in the chest with a paintball gun. He almost wants to question it - No? What do you mean no? - but he knows exactly what no means. Respects it. And yet he feels a little cheated.

"B..." is all he says, because, like, what the fuck? You'd practically been edging him. Forced him to ask .

"Gguk..." you tease back, obviously finding this far more amusing than he is.

His face is a picture, confusion contorting his features, silence speaking for him. It's the reaction you expected, but it makes you feel a lot more guilty than you had anticipated. It's not that you're trying to be a dick. You really did want him to do it.

But Jeongguk is also yet to face any form of rejection. The girls he's spoken to have been interested in him. Not once has he faced any sizable consequence to his questions or actions, and even though you know that asking to eat your ass isn't exactly the top of his issues, you have to reject him. Have to get him used to the feeling. Have to let him get comfortable with it.

He doesn't really know what to do. Purses his lips. Nods. Is obviously disappointed, but trying his best not to let it show.

You feel guilty. Come a little closer. Straddle his lap again, and guide his chin so that his gaze is directly on yours.

He resists at first. Is embarrassed. Feels all horrible inside. It's even worse that his cock is still hard. The entire thing is a bit mortifying. Doesn't wanna look at you, 'cause he feels stupid. Must have misread the situation. Idiot.

But he hadn't misread it all.

You hadn't planned on doing that. Just kind of had an impulsive thought - what if I do reject him? - and let it win.

"That was mean," he whispers so quietly that you almost don't hear it.

You nod, noses nudging against his. "It was."

"Say sorry," he pouts.

When you smile, a small giggle is held back. "I'm sorry. Should I kiss you?" you offer. He pulls you a little further up his lap. Makes you think a kiss is coming. "To say sorry?"

Closer, closer, closer. His nose nudges up against yours. He pauses. "No."

It's direct. To the point. Gets you in your chest a little. Rejection . Funny little thing.

"I wasn't trying to be a dick. There is a sticky note with it on, Koo," you begin to explain. Jeongguk hates how loopy that name makes his tummy feel. "It's gonna happen. I want it to happen."

Yet you didn't let it. He doesn't get it. Doesn't understand. It's a rare instance of your communication going awry.

"You made me ask," he mumbles, pouting. "And then you..."

You stay silent. Wait for him to figure it out. It takes only a second or so. You know he's cracked it when his thumbs begin to stroke against your skin like it normally does.

"And then I rejected you," you nod. Feel incredibly guilty about it now.

Living through rejection in times of vulnerability is important for him. He needs to process that it's okay; that rejection isn't automatic doom and gloom. That he can put himself out and not fear rejection - not because it will never happen, but because he can recognise that life goes on after it.

And it does. For now, though, he's still a little embarrassed.

"I hate that you did that," he says candidly, voice quiet, nose nestled against yours. Wants to stay close. Wants the comfort that comes with it. Eyes shut, his confidence feels shot to shit.

On a normal day, he'd probably not be so concerned about it all - however his emotions are running high. It's just the stress, but it's impacting all of his interactions.

"I'm sorry," you whisper.

"I know," he whispers right back. He genuinely does believe you are - but also believes you shouldn't have to apologise for saying no. "It's okay. 'No' is okay. You can say sorry for being a meanie, but that's all. Can't say sorry for saying 'no' , okay?"

Oh, you've never wanted to kiss him more. Give him the biggest, sweetest smooch for just being so inexorably endearing.

But you just nod. He'd said 'no' to kisses earlier.

Life goes on. Jeongguk knows this. Repeats it like an oath.

Life goes on. Life goes on. Life goes on.

"Two choices," he says. Pulls away a little. Wants to look in your starry eyes, and forget what just happened. "Choice one - we call it a night and get some sleep."

"Or?" you encourage, still feeling a little awful about the whole rejection thing.

"Or, choice two - you go and pick a sticky note, this time. We do whatever it says."

If there's one thing for certain, it's that you love a good redemption arc. Think this is a no-brainer. You hop off his lap without a second thought and pluck one off the wall at random.

Jeongguk bites down on his bottom lip as he watches you. His head is all over the place, but he knows one definite truth: you make things feel okay .

Embarrassment? It's null and void, with you. Sure, he feels it in the moment, but it always just simmers away. Disappears.

"So?" he asks, as you scan over the words of the note.

It's Jeongguk's handwriting. Is deserved, you think.

You turn it around for him to read, getting back into position on his lap. He welcomes you back, Holds your waist as you intrude on his personal space more - but is it really intruding if he's opening the door for you? Welcoming you in?

"Ah," he grins a little awkwardly. " That ."

" That ," you echo with a small giggle.

"You wanna do it?" he asks, a little cautiously this time.

You're so proud. 

He opened himself for rejection again . He can do it.

With a nod, and every muscle in your body willing your lips not to kiss him, you say, "yeah. I do."

Jeongguk grins even brighter, now. Has stars in his smile. Thoughts of twenty minutes prior don't bother him anymore.

"Alright," he sighs a little, as if he isn't secretly really keen for what's yet to come. "Let's get it."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

[shijiujun]

KISEKI Dear to Me: 3.5 CPs + GANGSTER/MOB + SALT DEATH PTSD

Alright guys, temporarily bursting out of hiatus to talk about this show because DAMN if there's anything we know works in BL-land, it's like underworld AU (hello History3: Trapped and KP lmao), and even better if this underworld AU has like DILFs and two familiar actors who WERE FORCED APART in their previous roles and who knows if that'll happen again BUT!

Without further ado...

Title: Kiseki Dear to Me, based on novel Dear to Me by Lin Peiyu Beginning: Aug. 22, 2023, 7PM (GTM+8) Episodes: 13 Total No. of CPs: THREE CONFIRMED + "childhood friends" DILFs

-----------

CP 1: BAD BOY + GOOD STUDENT

Fan Zherui x Bai Zongyi: Fan Zherui, 25 years old, is a gang member who turned to the gangs due to family problems, and one day when he's injured, Bai Zongyi saves him, he falls in love with him and decides to leave the gang, but things go awry when his enemy Zhang Teng (played by Wayne, see CP 3) comes after for revenge. Bai Zongyi is a good student, your cutest boy next door, who is independent and has some PTSD from when he was beaten up in the rain - meets Fan Zherui and for once realises what it means to be loved, to have someone to care for him and more. TWO MEOW MEOWS?! Anyway, Bai Zongyi, according to MDL, will take the rap for some fight for Zherui, and then end up in jail, but then very weirdly the official description says that CP 2's Eddie ends up in jail for Bai Zongyi, I'm a tad confused but WHATEVER we will find out when we watch the damn show.

----

CP 2: ADOPTED SON OF GANG BOSS + CHILDHOOD "YOUNGER BROTHER" PUPPY

Chen Yi x Eddie (Ai Di): They both grew up together with Eddie as the younger 'brother', with Chen Yi being 'adopted' by gang boss Chen Dongyang after his parents, also gang members die to protect the boss. Eddie has been chasing after him for the longest time, and has a sad family background as his parents are druggies and he was only able to grow up well under the protection of Chen Dongyang, and he only listens to Chen Yi. UNREQUITED-REQUITED love, but Eddie sees how Chen Yi feels deeply about Chen Dongyang (I don't know what that means from the description LMAO like??) and decides to leave Chen Yi, and somehow get embroiled in something and ends up in jail for Bai Zongyi. Chen Yi is only just understanding his own feelings for Eddie when Eddie literally goes to jail DOGBLOOD MUCH?! Anyway they will reunite 4 years later.

----

CP 3: MY BAOBEIS?!?!?! MY LOVELIES WHO MADE US GET PTSD OVER SALT?! WILL THESE TWO GANG MEMBERS GET THEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTERS THEY BETTER FUCKING DO

Zhang Teng x A-Jun: BOTH GANG MEMBERS if you couldn't tell from their loud af shirts and thick ass accessories LMAO omg I cannot believe how happy I am to see these two again. A-Jun is Zhang Teng's like follower??? Has been following him since he joined the gang and both fears and reveres him, and Zhang Teng is just angry ball of angst and revenge and vengeance, if you couldn't tell from Wayne's face. I cannot believe they're in a setting! WHERE THEY MIGHT NOT GET GOOD ENDINGS WAS SALT SEPARATION NOT ENOUGH TELL ME YALL

----

CP 3.5: DILFS? "CHILDHOOD FRIENDS" DADS???

Friends yall do not understand how I feel about these two uncles. IF you've ever watched Taiwan family dramas, these two, especially the one on the left Xie Chengjun, is a fucking LEGEND, he's in EVERY SINGLE FAMILY DRAMA all hundreds of episodes of them, he's literally like THE dude to idolise he's been paired up with EVERY SINGLE POPULAR GODDESS ACTRESS in Taiwan - I KID YOU NOT I GREW UP WATCHING HIM on OUR CHANNELS EVERY SINGLE DAY ACROSS 5-7 POPULAR FAM DRAMAS it's been like 20 years ISTG.

Anyway I'm NOT SURE if they are actually going to be a CP at all BUT (1) at press conference this week, these two made kissy faces at each other sooooo...?

Zhou Minglei grew up with Chen Dongyang protecting him as he was a weak and sickly child, so they're childhood friends, and he becomes super unhappy and upset that Chen Dongyang begins to protect and pays attention to Chen Yi ;-; LIKE WHAT IS THIS DESCRIPTION? Okay we could think of this professionally as like two bosses of a gang with their interests at stake BUT THE DESCRIPTION?! And ok Chen Dongyang on the right, he's obviously gang boss, and he relies on Zhou Minglei a lot to fix his problems for him. EXCUSE ME?!

----

The main CPs (1 & 2) are torn apart in a particular fight, and they will reunite 4 years later LET'S SEE HOW THAT GOES THANK YOU.

500% I'll be watching this you bet your damn ass because they better give me happy ending Wayne and Junzhi THIS TIME otherwise they're seriously cursed?!?!?!? No more salt accidents fuck you writer for that ;-; AND IF THE DILF PAIRING COMES TRUE even if just bromance and meaningful side eyes, this bitch will take it.

[i-need-some-advice-on]

I am really concerned about some friends of mine involved in a predatory friendship

I’m a young college student and two of my friends have been hanging out with a much older guy. We’re all 20, this guy is fucking almost thirty.

We met him through our college’s paranormal club. I did NOT know he was that old so all of us hung out a few times since we were all super into the same shows. We thought he was our age. At his age he still looks like a twink and doesn’t seem out of touch like other 30 something’s so the possibility that he was so much older never entered out minds.

He seemed like a really cool guy then we found out his age when one of my friends (who had a crush on him) asked him out. He turned her down, because he thought the age difference was inappropriate and also because he’s apparently gay and has a boyfriend.

What disturbs me though is that both of my friends are still hanging out with this guy after this happened! She said she wanted to still be his friend but it just seems weird to me for a 29 year old to be hanging around with people our age or mingling with young adults on a college campus at all! They wonder why I no longer come with them when they hang out and idk what to tell them!

We also ran into his boyfriend who’s like 25. I’m kind of uncomfortable around his bf too because he’s so much older than us but I’m also worried about him because with him dating a 25 year old and hanging out with 20 year olds is a clear indication he’s trying to prey on younger people and his boyfriend could just be a perfectly normal guy who was unlucky enough to be roped in.

Anyway this is totally inappropriate. My friends say it’s purely platonic but I’m not comfortable with the situation and it also makes me uncomfortable that there are so many middle aged people on campus because it makes the rest of us more vulnerable to things like this happening. I do not think they should even let people over 23 into any of the clubs or classes.

I actually confronted him yesterday and asked him why he was still in college at his age. He gave me some bullshit about having a “serious medical condition” in his teens and 20s that made it hard for him to live independently or go to college and only just got it under control within the last couple years and he’s getting a bit of a late start in life. I don’t know.

It sounds suspicious to me, like he’s trying to make up a sob story to make me pity him because when I asked him to elaborate he said he wasn’t comfortable talking about it.

In any case he shouldn’t even be here. Even on the off chance it’s true and he’s not trying to do anything he should not be here. I want to report him or something but I don’t know how! What should I do?

.

[reallymyanchor]

Alexander

Disclaimer: this is a gainer story, not Mpreg. Let me know if you’d like more!

Nervously, I stepped into the living room. It was a warm enough temperature, but I jittered with a bit of anxious energy.

“Pause there a moment and I’ll get a few pictures before you sit down” Kyle said, the opposite to my nervous jitters, he was calm, making it sound like we had all the time in the world. I readjusted my jock strap, I’ve never worn one before, so it felt unusually to feel quite so held and exposed at the same time.

“Give me a smile” he said, holding up his phone. “Nice, now turn side on.”

There was a shutter noise, “You look great in this light man, check this out!”

He held out his phone: he was right, the shadows made my muscles looked even more defined, and my blonde hair caught the textures of the light. Kyle motioned to the couch, on the table beside it was a cup, and a large jug full of a thick shake.

“This is the main thing for you tonight man, it’s a shake that I’ve been developing - its got all the good stuff for a growing boy.”

I sat down, and he poured me a glass. I took my first sip. I think I was expecting it to feel like some kind of huge moment, or that he’d make a big deal of it, but nothing like that happened. It tasted slightly sweet, and was more like a vanilla thick shake than anything else.

“Yum, that’s good.” I said, sitting back in the couch, my jitters lessening. He sat in an armchair beside me.

“Go on, down that one dude, show it you mean business.” Kyle said. I smiled at him. I know it’s kinda the reason I’m here, and that he’s paying me $1000 for the night, but it’s always makes me smile when he goes all gainer chat. I tipped back the glass, and gulped down the mix. He refilled my glass.

“So Alex -“ he said

“oh, I prefer Alexander,” I said. It’s always good to nip that one in the bud fast.

“Sorry - Alexander, it’s so good to meet you in person. I saw a few of your bulk and bloating photos, and I knew I wanted to meet you.”

“Yeah, thanks for all the shopping money, man.” I said, taking a sip of the drink. It was kind of moreish, bizarrely drinking it didn’t make me feel any less thirsty. I took time to drink him in properly too: he was 25-30, clearly a fit guy, not bad looking overall. I’m 21, so even if he fucks me it’s not that much of an age gap.

“So, what got you thinking about doing this?” I asked him, finishing the second glass. He poured me another.

“Well, in the daytime I’m a personal trainer, and I just love seeing people transform their bodies. I spend so much time helping people to slim down, or cut this weight, I just find it really fucking hot to do the opposite. You’re pretty athletic: how often are you in the gym?”

“Every day, I’m in there at least once” I said. “I live with a few boys who are into body building, so they’re good at keeping me honest.”

“Where do they think you are tonight?” Kyle asked, watching as I finished another glass.

I was definitely feeling a bit full, but nothing compared to some of the bulking meals I’ve had. My cock was starting to go hard. I can’t explain how I’m turned on by the situation.

“I’ve told them that I’m at a family party for the night, out of town. My parents think that I’m out camping with the boys. Don’t worry, I’ve told everyone I’ll be out of cell range.” I said.

I paused in my drinking. A sense of fullness coming over me.

“Keep breathing,” he said, “take another sip”. I did. “What lead you to here?”

“Money” I responded, “ I’m a student, I bulk anyway, might as well earn some cash.”

Kyle smiled, “Speaking of work: I’ve got four more of these jugs to get in you. You ever been on a funnel before?”

————————

I lay back on the couch, a pipe in my mouth, which was strapped to my face. I gulped down the liquid at a steady pace, while Kyle poured it in above. I couldn’t speak, only groan and move slightly.

As I settled into a rhythm of gulps, Kyle kept giving words of encouragement: “Keep it up dude”, “You got this Alex”, “keep going with those deep breaths” I couldn’t even interrupt as he shortened my name.

My eyes were fixed on the ceiling, my hands cuffed behind my back “just in case”. I’m not sure what the case might be, but they’re definitely cuffed.

It was after the second jug that I noticed Kyle’s comments changing.

“Did you know that 25 percent of men in our country are obese? You’re going to be joining that number soon. Your thighs are gonna rub together when you run, and it’ll start to get so uncomfortable that you’ll stop running altogether. You’ll probably tell yourself that it’s mostly muscle, you’ll try to do resistance weights, but you’ll start to get sick of the gym, watching all the other boys your age getting fitter while you just get fatter and fatter. You’re gonna be such a good pig, such a happy little porker.”

I felt him pull out my jockstrap, my hard cock flipped out. I felt my cheeks turn red with embarrassment as he emptied the third jug into the funnel. I was feeling pretty full now. I tried to focus on my breathing

“You sure you’re just here for the money?” He said, giving my cock a few strokes before putting the jock back in place.

It was halfway through the fourth and final jug when I hit a wall. I couldn’t swallow anymore, and yet he just tipped the rest of the shake into the funnel. I moaned, attempting to indicate I couldn’t do it. He held the tube up.

“You are going to finish this, Pig.” He said, and then I felt his hand on my abdomen, moving in slow, soothing circles. I groaned, his touch just made me feel tighter.

“Keep breathing” he said. I breathed through my nose, and closed my eyes, focussing on his touch, and breathing. I gulped. It was slow, impossibly slow, but under his hand, I kept swallowing, delirious.

I opened my eyes to him removing the funnel straps from my face and uncuffing me, “Well done Pig, you managed all of them. Stand up for a bit, we’re going to move to the bath.”

He left the room, and I swung my legs around till I was sitting on the couch. I put a hand to my distended belly. It was grossly bulging with liquid, fuck this was hot. My dick was throbbing. I stood, and felt the full weight of my gravid body. My abs were stretched tight, a thin wall of muscle holding back the slurry inside my belly. I took a small step, gingerly following Kyle towards the bathroom.

———————————

Kyle sat on the edge of the bath, watching me as I wondered at the bulging gut he’d given me. My cock was rock hard under the water, but I was focussed on the pleasure and sensitivity coming from my belly, which only just stayed under the surface of the water

“The warm water relaxes your skin, makes things a bit more malleable.” He said.

“You’re not going to make me drink another, are you?” I asked.

“Nah, there’s just one more thing, fatty” he held up a glass. “I want you do drink this glass of water, and then relax as it reacts with the shake.”

He handed me the glass and, eager to get it over with, I downed it quickly, and handed the glass back to him.

“I hope you haven’t organised to go to the gym tomorrow” he said.

“what do you mean b-“ i was interrupted by a sudden movement in my gut. I cried out as a wave of pressure burst through me.

“Keep breathing, your body will filter it out soon” he said. I moaned loudly, I felt like my belly was going to rip open.

“Fuuuuuuuck!” I shouted as my already tight body expanded in sudden fits and waves, the reaction between the water and the shake pushing me bigger and bigger. I threw back my head- the pain was so intense, so deep in me. I blacked out, and felt my cock spurting a load.

When I came to, I was still in the bath, my head back. I could feel pressure on either side of my belly, I moaned, afraid to look at myself. I looked down. The pressure on the sides of my belly was the sides of the bath. I was so huge that I was effectively wedged in there. There were stretch marks on me where the belly had expanded so rapidly. I looked to Kyle, almost desperately.

“Awh, don’t worry Piggy.” He said, “Even though you look super hot like this, it’s totally not my style. By the morning, your body will have broken down the enzymes and hormones in the shake. You won’t have your big belly, you’ll be back to muscular old you.”

“Thank fuck” I said, relaxing a bit.

“But your body will be a bit different. You’ll still have these cute stretch marks” he said, gently tracing them with his finger. “And a few other things: you’ll find that your metabolism has dropped right down, and your brain will have a new level of what “full” means. Oh, and your body will want to store fat it your belly, tits and ass. In other words, you’ll be looking like this again permanently, in no time.”

Kyle grinned.

“What?” I asked, “What’s so fucking funny - you’ve ruined my fucking life you asshole”

He said “You can’t see it over your fat piggy belly, but your dick is rock hard again.”

He gave my belly a slap, and I felt my body jiggle, and my piggy cock spurted cum into the water.

He took a photo of me.

—————————————

I left Kyle’s house early the next morning. My body was back to its normal toned form, exactly the same as I had arrived, except for three blue stretch marks. I was so fucking hungry on the way home. Kyle is going to send through $700 a week for food, until our next session, when he’ll lift his payments again. He does want at least one full body photo a day.

As my work week started, I kept living as normal. None of my friends asked about my time away, and my Mum asked about camping. The boys in my house are in a bulking phase, and I’ve been joining them for every meal and gym session. Kyle’s word held true though: while their metabolisms were able to keep up with the influx of protein, my body eagerly stored it as fat.

Kyle was wrong about something though: I didn’t stop my cardio and running because of my thighs rubbing together. It was the fatty puffy pecs that grew on me, they bounced uncomfortably with each step or jump.

[ieatsaltychildren]

REPLACED

Obey me x replaced!reader

I did use she/her pronouns in this. Theres not a ton of dialogue and was honestly part of a vent💀 Remember that I’m in no way trying to romanticize any of this.

TW!- mentions of an eating disorder, suicide, overdose, death, probs OOC, angst no comfort.

Some songs I listened to while writing this- Rock Bottom-Eminem, The way I am-Eminem, 4 morant- doja cat, Alone-doja cat, 25 to life-eminem. Literally these on repeat😭

Life is hard. We all know this, but why did this have to happen? Why did she have to come along and take them away? Why did they choose to leave me?

I shouldn’t have trusted them. The one time i let my guard down and this happens. Mila, the bitch who took them away. I was nice to her, i tried to be her friend, i wanted to get to know her but apparently she only wanted to see my downfall and the brothers kneeling for her.

I don’t like talking about when she first came, but for the backstory i will. Diavolo thought it would be a good idea to invite another human to be an exchange student. At first i was overjoyed. I wanted to have another human girl to talk to and relate to, but once she showed up everything went wrong. She started framing me for shit she did, and i just stood there and took the scolding i got.

Eventually all the brothers just went to her and ignored me. They only talk to me if they need something done or they yell at me. I still always try to get them to love me, yet i always fail.

She even was able to get the angels, royals, Solomon, mephisto, and even Thirteen and Raphael on her side. Everyone left me. Every day is just a repeat. Wake up late most days, have lucifer remind me of how much of a failure i am, skip breakfast, go to classes, probably skip lunch, go to classes, go back to hol, force myself to eat dinner, eat dinner in my room, and sleep. Every day. Theres nothing to be excited about when i wake up anymore. No more hanging out with mammon, no more being levis player two, no more sleepovers with asmodeus. The only one who remotely cared about me was barbatos. Maybe he could help me get back to the human world but it wouldn’t be any better.

What hurt most was mammon, my first man leaving me. He swore. He fucking swore that he would always love me yet he still left me. We weren’t even dating so why does it have to hurt so much.

Even fucking beelzebub. He always acts so sweet but he left to. They all did. Maybe its good mila came along. She showed me that they weren’t trustworthy. It still hurts though.

I just want it all to be over with. If liliths not gonna kill me then I’ll do it myself.

My lifes been shit anyways. It never got better. It sucks to always wake up stressed. It sucks to always be hoping and praying that ill just die. Mila coming along and replacing me just added onto it.

I have attempted at my life multiple times since she came. Never has it worked. But maybe that will change soon. Maybe that will change tonight. I wonder how long it would take them to even notice, they didn’t notice my failed attempts so why would they notice a successful one. I wonder how they would react, the royals, angels, every single one of them. I already know mila would be happy. Maybe they would feel the same.

The laughter of the brothers and mila snaps me out of my daze. It reminds me of the short lived happiness i once had. The happiness i wish i still had. But soon it would all be over. Once the pills fully kick in I’ll finally be happy.

I have tried overdosing before. It didn’t work last time but it should work now. I have a good feeling. Or maybe thats just the drugs. I didn’t even write a goodbye note to them yet. It’s fine though.

Hearing their laughter in my final moments hurt but felt so good at the same time. It’s kicking in. It’s finally working. Ill be free.

My vision got blurry. I could only hear a distorted version of their voices that eventually faded out. Then it all went black. Its the end

Im free

———————————————————————

It had been a few days since you died. No one knew until 4 days had passed. Mammon needed to borrow money from you for diavolo knows what.

He knocked on your door “Y/nnn, open up I need to ask ya somethin”

No response

He knocked again and yelled “y/n?”

No response

So he went to tell lucifer. I don’t know if he intended on telling on you or was concerned. Probably the first option.

“Lucifer, y/n won’t open her door”

“What do you want me to do about it?” Lucifer sighed sick of his brother’s shit.

“I just need to get some grimm from her”

“Just go in. She’s probably just sleeping”

“Fine then” mammon replied starting to walk out the door.

As he approached your door he got a certain nervous feeling. He just ignored it, nothing bad could happen, right? Wrong.

As soon as he opened your door he saw you dead on the floor, drug bottle in hand.

He stood there frozen. How could this happen?? He was supposed to protect you. He was your first man. He hopes you were just passed out but deep down he knew.

He ended up calling for his brothers. This is the one time they really actually looked at you in months, hell almost a year. Mila was happy, as expected but she covered it up with tears.

Soon solomon, the royals, and angels showed up. Raphael, thirteen, and mephisto even showed up.

They all realized how shitty they treated you. They realized how badly they fucked up.

———————————————————————

I might honestly make another ending where y/n keeps pushing and ends up fucking mila up or goes back to the human world and tries to get her shit straight. Im not sure tho. Might do how they would react too y/n dying AND where you went after you died. I wrote this for 3 hours straight😭😭😭 my hands are cramping

MAYBE THE END

[robertsmithclone]

I Wait For You (It’s What I Do)

Xavier Thorpe x Female Original Character (Sade Ricci)

Sade Ricci’s fangs just came in two weeks into the school year, so that means a transfer to Nevermore academy. (Does not follow show plot)

1.8k words. (part one)

TW: mentions of blood, slight mentions of eating disorder, very very slight nod to pill addiction, one mention of sexual fantasies, cigarettes

Posting to Ao3 under wonde_rr and Wattpad under SHADYGROVEE

Playlist : it’s in the works

chapter one masterlist

translations at the end

As Sade walked through the doors of Nevermore with her father, she could only focus on one thing; the smell of blood.

Of course her father, Paolo, noticed her tense up and brought his big, rough hand down on her shoulder. “Luce del sole, remember what we practiced.” The dark haired man smiled down at her.

“Papà, I know. I’m fine!” Sade shrugged off his hand as Principal Weems approached with a smile.

“Ah, don’t be like this, mia ragazza!”

After a trip to Principal Weem’s office and a visit to Sade’s dorm, her father had to leave and she felt like sobbing. Boarding school was going to be hell, but it was the only option after her fangs came in not long after the school year started. Nevermore was two weeks in when Sade showed up, and she couldn’t feel more out of place.

She was an Italian vampire. All these people were American. The outcast at a school for outcasts.

Principal Weems had told her to put on her uniform and she’d get a student to give Sade a tour. So, that’s what Sade did. The uniform was bright purple and ill fitting. She already missed her maroon aura.

——

“Sade, this is Rowan. He’ll be giving you your tour today. I do hope you’ll love it here.” Weems gave her the same smile as before and left them outside her office.

The brown haired boy looked over at her and smiled. “As Weems said, I’m Rowan. How did you pronounce your name again?”

He was awfully nice, and very pretty. Sade thought he seemed suspicious, but she thought that of everyone at first.

“Say-d. Nice to meet you, ragazzo carino.” She made sure to flash her fangs slightly and give him a flirty grin.

Rowan’s face flushed and he adjusted his glasses.

“I have to say I wasn’t expecting an Italian accent, but you’re probably full of surprises.” He grinned slightly. “Anyways, follow me.”

Rowan took her around the whole school, without too many odd looks. She had arrived on a Sunday which was probably a good thing except for the fact she started classes tomorrow with practically no time to prepare.

They stopped at their final destination, the small docks by the big lake.

“Well, that’s it.” He smiled at her and glanced at his watch. “Any questions?”

“Does everyone normally wear their uniforms on weekends?” Sade was slightly appalled that she saw everyone wearing one.

Rowan laughed. “Um, no. Weems just wanted to make a good impression on you.”

Sade rolled her eyes and sighed. Of course, but who even cares?

“So, now is usually when my friends and I meet up for lunch on weekends. You’re welcome to come, but I understand if you’d rather unpack and relax.” He seemed hopeful and despite Sade’s adversity to food, she really didn’t feel like being alone. Plus it gave her more of a chance to flirt with Rowan. She thought he was cute when he was flustered.

“Sure, tesoro. Do you guys go into Jericho for that?” Knowing the small town nearby was important for her escape plan, in better words, escape fantasy.

“Yeah, actually, we do. I’ll text our group chat that you’re coming with me.” He pulled out his phone and Sade caught another grin of his. He couldn’t seem to stop doing that. Grinning.

Rowan’s blood smelled so sweet, and she’d rather have that for lunch than whatever was in town. Sade knew she could bite him in a way not to hurt him, just to get a taste, but she couldn’t disappoint her father by running around biting whoever she wanted.

——

They finally made it into Jericho after a 25 minute walk with very slight rain the whole time. Sade felt damp, and she didn’t like it.

Rowan led her into a cafe/diner that she had seen on her way to Nevermore. It was fairly empty aside from what Sade assumed was Rowan’s group.

In a circular booth in the corner sat a bright blonde haired girl with a smile on her face, a boy with a large beanie, a girl with braids and a brooding look on her face, a girl with circular sunglasses and straight black hair, and finally the most attractive boy Sade had ever seen.

The boy was obviously tall, he had long hair, and looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Oh, this was going to be fun.

Rowan waved slightly to the curly blonde haired boy behind the counter and slid into the booth with his friends, Sade sliding in right next to him.

They all greeted him with smiles, except for the brooding girl.

“Hey guys, this is Sade. She’s a vampire.” Rowan introduced her to them all and she smiled, flashing her fangs.

“Sade, this is Enid, Ajax, Wednesday, Yoko, and Xavier. Oh, and the guy behind the counter is Tyler. He doesn’t go to Nevermore but we hang out with him sometimes.” He introduced her to everyone around the table and Sade was able to put names to faces.

Xavier leaned around Rowan and put his hand out for Sade to shake, which she did. He grinned at her. “Nice to meet the reason we’re wearing uniforms today.”

“Don’t blame me, bellissimo, I’m not happy about it either.” She dropped his hand.

“Bellissimo?” Xavier looked at her confusedly, but she turned to officially meet the others.

“She’s been calling me Italian nicknames all day, with no explanation, just translate it later.” Rowan whispered to Xavier, followed with a soft laugh.

Xavier just shook his head, and scowled slightly as he saw Tyler walk over and look directly at Sade.

Xavier and Tyler had previously quarreled over various things, but most recently Wednesday. It didn’t really matter because Wednesday didn’t pick either of them. Although Tyler persisted, Xavier didn’t. Xavier knew it was to make him mad, especially with their past. It was unfortunate that Tyler’s kissing skills were so good. Xavier wished he had never found that out.

Xavier thought Sade was the most perfect girl he had ever seen, and if Tyler takes that from him too he just might shoot himself.

“You’re new.” Tyler smiled at Sade.

“Sì, e che ne dici, teppista biondo?” Sade quipped, with a slightly aggressive tone.

It made the table giggle and gasp, but Tyler just stood with his mouth hanging open for a second.

“I’m sorry?” He was confused to say the least, which made the table laugh more.

“So cosa sei, ragazzo barista, uno sleazebag. lo sento.” Sade’s tone was annoyed now. She didn’t really know why she was so bothered with him, probably because she hadn’t eaten since last night, but food disgusted her so she was mean to this Tyler boy instead.

Tyler backed away slightly and Sade slid out of the booth. “I’m going for a cigarette.” She glanced at the table and made her way outside into the light rain.

She pulled a pack and lighter from her bra. Sade loved the smell of nicotine and blood mixed together.

Right as she was letting out smoke, Xavier walked out the door and stood next to her.

“I would offer you one but they’re blood infused.” Sade looked up at him shyly. It wasn’t as easy to flirt with someone like Xavier compared to Rowan. Xavier was different, and being alone with him was scary in a way.

“That’s too bad,” He looked down at her and smiled slightly. “So, what were you saying in there?”

The fact that he asked made Sade curious. What was his motive?

“Oh, I just called him a hoodlum and told him I could sense he was a sleazebag.” She tucked some of her hair behind her ear and took another drag.

Xavier laughed and Sade went weak in the knees. How could someone’s laugh be so beautiful?

“In my humble opinion, you were spot on.” He leaned back against the brick wall and looked up into the sky. She knew there had to be history between them, whatever that may be. Sade could almost smell Xavier’s blood boiling when Tyler walked over.

“I could smell it in his blood.”

“Seriously?” Xavier’s head whipped over to look at her. His eyebrows were furrowed and he had a confused look on his face.

Sade looked back up at him and laughed. “No, you’re too…oh what’s that word? Credulone, I don’t know it in english.” Her face became flushed out of embarrassment and she smiled slightly.

Xavier couldn’t take his eyes off of her. The way she blushed was adorable and he knew how bad this was for him. He already lost the war, that was a fact.

“Gullible?” The corner of his mouth quirked up.

“I don’t know, is that it? Probably. You believe things too easily.” Sade took another drag of her cigarette. There were lipstick stains on it and it was driving Xavier crazy.

“Trust me I don’t, I just don’t know too much about vampires.” He chuckled and looked back up to the gray sky.

“Me either, to be honest. My fangs just came in two weeks ago and I’m still figuring this all out. It’s taking everything in me not to bite you. The smell of your glorioso blood is just too much for me to handle.” Sade lowered her voice and octave when she got to the biting part, and looked up at Xavier with her red eyes wide.

Xavier’s breath got caught in his throat and his face became slightly flushed. He looked down at Sade, sexual fantasies floating around his head just at the sight of her looking at him like that. He knew she should be scary to him right now but she wasn’t. Just beautiful.

“I’m joking, Xavier.” Sade quickly dropped the act, despite seeing the truth in her own lies, Xavier seemed to really believe her, and kind of into it.

“Right, of course.” He shook his head and laughed softly to himself before walking back inside the cafe, leaving Sade alone in the rain.

——

Sade couldn’t help but lie in bed thinking about Xavier. She couldn’t be bothered to worry about classes with him distracting her.

She reached over to her nightstand and pulled out her blood pills but put them back after reading the label. She shuffled the things in her drawer around and pulled out the painkillers. She popped two in her mouth and drifted off to sleep with one thing on her mind.

——

Xavier knew he wasn’t getting sleep tonight. Not after meeting Sade. He’d be lucky if he ever got to sleep again, it wasn’t likely with Sade around.

He sat at his desk, sketching her. Sketching her face, her fangs, eyes, body, making her come to life to hear her laughter and see her flash her fangs at him.

He was just lucky Rowan never asked him what he was drawing, and didn’t mind the sound of Cavier’s pencil when he was trying to sleep.

—

Translations:

Luce del sole - Sunshine

Papà - Dad

mia ragazza - my girl

ragazzo carino - pretty boy

tesoro - sweetheart (male) or treasure

bellissimo - gorgeous

Sì, e che ne dici, teppista biondo? - yes, and what about it, blonde hoodlum?

So cosa sei, ragazzo barista, uno sleazebag. lo sento. - I know what you are, barista boy, a sleazebag. I can sense it.

Credulone - gullible

glorioso - glorious

[razorsadness]

Jessie Lynn McMains, from Reckless Chants #25: dear you (August 2019)

[text version under cut]

dear xxx—

David Berman is dead & I'm fucking sad. sad about Toni Morrison too of course but I already said my piece on that & anyway she was 88. David was only 52. not much older than my partner. & god damn it when you've lived a life like mine the words of white sadboy poet/singer-songwriters mean just as much to you as (if not in some ways more than) the greatest writers of our time, of any race or gender. cuz I grew up on that indie-punk shit. cuz I'm a sad whiteboy sometimes, too. cuz Toni Morrison was a great novelist but Silver Jews lyrics had more of an influence on my own writing.

like "We Are Real," where D.B. wrote:

Repair is the dream of the broken thing Like a message broadcast on an overpass All my favorite singers couldn't sing

like "Tennessee," when he sang:

Punk rock died when the first kid said "Punk's not dead, punk's not dead"

like how I cry harder when my punk/music icons die than I can imagine crying for almost any established writer. Lorna Doom died the day before Mary Oliver died, then the next day Debi Martini died & I was more brokenhearted about Lorna & Debi than Mary. cuz Mary was 83 & Lorna & Debi were younger. cuz it felt like I should tattoo Punk Is Dead on my forehead & slamdance on its grave. cuz Mary Oliver's poetry meant a lot to me but it didn't explode my fucking world like the Germs LP did. I don't know how to explain this. If you know, you know. David Berman died & I'm devastated.

I was devastated in December, when Pete Shelley died, & I'm still not over it if I think about it too much. I was in my car, on the way to pick my oldest kid up from school, & the DJ's voice on my favorite radio station broke thru my afternoon motion-induced reverie. breaking news; that's never good. Pete Shelley has died from a heart attack, he said, & played "Ever Fallen in Love." & I cried, of course I did. it hurt to lose one of punk's great songwriters, one of punk's great frontmen, who took his stage name from a Romantic poet & wrote songs that showed me it was okay to be myself, that there were other people out there like me. showed me it was okay to be a hypersexual bisexual, an "Orgasm Addict;" that I could be a punk & also be a hopelessly romantic lovesick dork. & it hurt to lose him because his kindness meant a lot to me when I was young—yeah, I knew Pete; we weren't close friends but we'd met, & he was sweet & funny & irreverent. I cried for him & I cried for the kid I was when I met him, the kid I was back when I first heard the Buzzcocks—back when I was a teenage misfit always falling in love with people I shouldn't have.

but the day after Pete died was Tom Waits' birthday, & I used it as an excuse to partake in some nostalgic pleasures; to be my old self if only for an hour or two. or as much my old self as I can still be. I went to the Douglas Avenue Diner for lunch, with my youngest kiddo as my date. I thought of xxx. I always miss her most in November & December. & diners make me think of her, & Tom Waits makes me think of her, & the death of old punks makes me think of her. everything reminds me of her. I thought of Hearts Don't Break, the novella I wrote in '02/'03, which was heavily based on our friendship; thought of my description of 'the coffee-stained comfort of our favorite diner.' different diner, different city, different year, but it was comforting to be there. they were playing Xmas carols & the patrons were an equal mix of punks & old folks. Greek-American-owned diners like Douglas Ave. make me the most nostalgic, as those are the diners I grew up going to—there are so many of them in the Midwest. I thought of the Alps East in Chicago, the diner I haunted as a broke college student; how I'd go there & order a cup of soup & a bottomless coffee & sit for hours eavesdropping on other patrons, getting ideas for short stories. I thought of the diners in Kenosha, going to them with xxxxx back when we were dating, sharing an order of spanikopita & a side of rice pilaf. after I left the diner that day, I mailed out a bunch of zines & chapbooks & that, too, was the same as it ever was.

& now another hero is dead & I'm finishing the first full issue of my zine in over two years, thinking about who I was back when I listened to the Silver Jews a lot. that terrible summer of '03, summer of nervous breakdowns & strep throat, too much rum & whiskey, & my lovers all dropping me. summer of pirates & pills; photocopied midnights. now it's the summer of '19 & I'm here writing & thinking of everything that's gone. favorite places, people, zines, scenes. I miss everything all the time. same as it ever was.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Just the Way You Are/ 1

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 3.6k

Includes- Seonghwa is amazing at oral, pussy eating, cum swallowing, dirty talk, squirting, multiple orgasm

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa @yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @aichanvlog @vemarkciraptor @soulseobi05

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝 ATEEZ Masterlist 📝 Seonghwa Masterlist

J POV

"Joong what do I do?", I whine

"Get laid", he answers

I scoff, "No shit. I need someone to lay me though"

"Not me"

"No shit not you!"

He has a girlfriend

And as my ex I wouldn't do it anyway

I don't need that mess

We have a great friendship after we decided we were better off friends than a couple

His girlfriend Hyeon is nice and a good fit for him

She knows we hang out a lot

He made sure that she accepted me before they started dating her

I do the same for him

He's the closest that I have to a best friend and I'm not messing up the good thing we have going on

"So ask Seonghwa to eat you out", he shrugs

I sit up and stare at him

"Seonghwa? As in your roommate?"

He rolls his eyes, "Do you know another Seonghwa?"

I glare at him, "Shut up"

He sighs dramatically, "Yes my roommate Seonghwa"

"But he's a total dork!"

Park, Seonghwa is a lit professor at my college

Don't ask me how he got the job as a professor at 25 bevause I don't know

Joong and I are 25 too

Joong has a good gig going with his heavy metal band

They're popular and constantly have shows

Me on the other hand, I'm still in school and I still have no idea what I want to do

So Seonghwa is the only one out of us three that has his life out together

But he is so nerdy and dorky

He constantly wears button downs, slacks, fancy shoes, sometimes ties, sometimes sweater vests

His black hair always parted at the side

No variation

And he always wears glasses

Some pairs are dorky, some are nice but the whole outfit screams dork, nerd, geek... loser

He can be attractive but he's so.... boring

The complete opposite of Hongjoong who has two lip rings, an eyebrow ring and a nose ring as well as tattoos galore

How these two met and became best friends is beyond me

They can't get anymore different

Hongjoong is more my type although I don't dress like him either

I'm all about comfort

Sweatpants, leggings, t shirts, sneakers are my daily go to

I do have some tattoos but not like Hongjoong

Hongjoong is a ladies man

But Seonghwa......

There's no way he gets that many girls

"A dork who knows how to eat cunt apparently"

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"Well when every girl he brings home screams, "Seonghwa fuck you're tongue is amazing", I'm assuming he's really good at it"

There's no way

"Wait...girls?"

I just realized Hongjoong said girls, plural

Not only does Seonghwa not seem the type to get loads of girls, he also doesn't seem the type to do one night stands or fuck around

"Yes girls", Hongjoong rolls his eyes, "Contrary to what you think, lots of girls throw themselves at him. Especially his students"

My mouth drops in shock

I've known Seonghwa for years, as an acquaintance of course, but I never thought to throw myself at him

"Oh my god"

"Yeah. He gets lots of pussy. But he never stays with them. One and done, maybe twice if they're lucky. And he's very selective"

"Why?"

This is so interesting

I've never thought about Seonghwa any other way except Hongjoong's nerdy shy roommate

Hongjoong shrugs, "He just says he hasn't found the right girl yet that makes him want to commit to her"

Well seeing as he gets a lot of ass, I doubt he's inclined to look for a girlfriend when he can have girl after girl

"These girls...they don't scream about his dick?"

"Sometimes. But a lot of the time he doesn't fuck them. The girl has to be really special for him to fuck"

That is so weird

How can he eat out a girl and not get anything back?

Is it like a power trip for him?

Does he like knowing that he's the reason someone is coming?

"So should I call him here so you can ask him?", Hongjoong asks, taking me out of my thoughts

Then what he said resisters

"Are you fucking insane? I'm not asking him to do that"

"But if he offered would you?"

I bite my lip thinking

Before I'd say no but now that I know his reputation then fuck yes

"I'll take that silence as a yes"

I just glare at him while he smirks

"Seonghwa!", he yells

"Joong, you jerk!", I gape

"Hey, I'm getting you laid remember....well sort of", he says then continues to scream for Seonghwa

"He's in the shower you idiot"

He was when I got here

"No he's not. He's out. Water's not running"

"C'mon Seonghwa! Come here!"

"What?", a voice that sounds nothing like Seonghwa growls

Raising my eyes to the hallway, Seonghwa steps into the living room, glaring at Hongjoong

And holy fuck

He's smoking hot

It's just the wet hair slicked back off his forehead, the black Tshirt, the black sweatpants...these clothes I've never seen him in before...hot damn

His eyes find mine and his whole demeanor changes to the dorky shy man I know

"Oh hi Jo. I didn't know you were here"

"Uh yeah", I say, not able to tear my gaze from him

"So Jo had a problem", Hongjoong starts

That gets my attention

"Shut the fuck up Joong", I warn, lowly

"Uh ok", Seonghwa says

"That you can help"

"I will fucking murder you", I threaten

"How?", Seonghwa asks

"By eating her out"

"Hongjoong!", I shriek

"I uh don't understand", Seonghwa says, his face red

"Easy. She's horny. Hasn't been laid in like two months"

I smack his arm, ready to gauge his eyes out

He scoffs at me then returns his attention to Seonghwa

"You are good at eating cunt. She needs to cum. Therefore you eating her out will help her"

"Oh my fucking god", I moan, mortified

I swear I wish the earth would open up and swallow me whole

I'd gladly jump in

"Ok", Seonghwa says, my mouth dropping to the floor

"You'll do it?", Hongjoong clarifies

"Yeah"

Hongjoong turns to me, "You're welcome"

"You are so fucking dead", I growl

"Uh huh sure. Just get up and go to his room with him"

Seonghwa stands there waiting for me

I give Hongjoong one more glare then I stand up and walk to Seonghwa

He avoids my gaze, turning around and I follow him

He opens his door and I walk in

I've never been in his room before

And it's immaculate

Shelves full of books on one of the walls, his desk and chair by the window with a laptop and notebooks probably full of his lectures

A dresser on one side, the closet next to it

One nightstand next to his big bed

The only thing a little messy is his bed

It's not made which to me isn't a big deal

I never understood the concept of making the bed when you're just gonna sleep in it again

He sits on the bed, apologizing that is not made

"Please Seonghwa, it's completely fine", I answer, sitting cautiously next to him

We don't look at each other, my eyes on the floor and awkward silence filling the room

"We don't have to if you are uncomfortable", he says

He's giving me an out and I should take it

"Do you really want to do this?", I ask instead, "Or are you just doing it because Joong asked you too?"

"I decided to say yes. I don't just do whatever Joong asks me to do. If I didn't want to I would have said no"

Ok well at least that's cleared up

"The question is do you want to? It seems like Joong decided upon himself to ask me on your behalf. And I know he asked in front of you which was a shitty move. It kinda gave you no way to back out when I said yes"

Thank god he saw the situation Hongjoong put us in

"If you don't want to it's fine. I'm not going to be mad or anything like that. It's your choice. I wouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to"

At least he's honest and his asking me to be honest is nice

I do have a few questions though

"Hongjoong told me about your reputation. That uh your tongue is....uh"

"Hongjoong is an idiot", he says under his breath, "But yeah, I'm good at it"

"Do you always do it to a girl you're hooking up with?"

"Most of the time", he answers

"And you have sex after?"

"Not always"

That is still so weird especially now that he confirmed it

Normally if a guy goes down on a girl, they want sex or a blowie in return

"But why not?"

He shrugs, "It's not something I do to just get sex. I like doing it. I don't care if I get anything in return"

Ok he is fucking strange

"Why do you like it so much?"

He shrugs, "I like the way it feels on my tongue. I like how messy it is. The taste, the scent, the moans. Depending on the girl of course. I also like knowing I'm the reason why someone feels good, why they get off"

Huh

I was right about the power trip thing but I didn't think that he may just like it

Lots of guys do it to get something so it never entered my mind that he has no reason other than he enjoys it

To each their own right?

"But....you're not scared to catch something?", I ask, thinking about STDs now

Shit I don't even know if he has any

I got tested after the last guy I fucked and I'm negative

But I would be worried if I blew as many guys as girls he apparently eats out

He sighs, "Did Hongjoong make me out to be a man whore or something?"

"He said you get a lot of girls"

Seonghwa snorts, "Yes I get a lot thrown at me. I don't eat or fuck them all. I'm not with girls everyday. Not every week. It's more like one every four to five months. I always get tested after. I'm clean if you want to know. I tested two months ago and haven't been with anyone since"

"I uh...I'm clean too. For months because like Hongjoong implied I can't get laid"

"Look Jo, I don't believe that. Like I said before, Hongjoong is an idiot. As I'm sure you know"

I laugh, nodding

I do know

Hongjoong's so oblivious sometimes then so observative the next

"So I guess it's up to you what you want to do", he says

I look over at him and at his pretty lips

And my mind immediately goes to those lips sucking on my clit, his tongue pleasuring me until I cum

And that seals it

"I want to"

He nods, "Ok"

I sit there frozen for a minute until he asks, "Can you lay down"

Shit, right

"Uh yeah"

As I lay down on his bed, he reaches to his face and takes off his glasses

And mother of God, is there no end to the surprises today?

First I find out Seonghwa can eat pussy like a god, then I see him in a casual outfit and now without glasses

He is fucking stunning

Those cheekbones, those deep brown eyes

Fuck

"You don't need your glasses?", I say like an idiot

He shakes his head, "I can see up close. It's seeing far that gives me a problem"

"Oh", I say

I watch him kneel down on the floor and my heart beats into overdrive

I never thought I'd ever see Seonghwa of all people in this position

He places his hands on my clothed thighs, making me jump

"Relax ok? It won't feel good if you don't relax"

I nod, "Ok"

I try to relax my body as his hands slowly move up my legs, squeezing gently

It does feel good

Almost like he's massaging me

His fingers slip into the waistband of my sweatpants, slowly pulling them down

I lift myself slightly so he can get them down

He pulls my sneakers off, getting the pants completely off

I stare at the ceiling feeling so exposed

"I didn't know you had this", he says, his fingers running along my thigh tattoo

I mean yeah there isn't a reason why he should know about it

He hasn't seen my body

"It's pretty", he says, tracing the lines, making my skin shiver

I'm shocked when his lips press kisses to my tattoo, kissing along it and further down

He opens my legs and I feel his lips press against my pussy, kissing me through the fabric of my panties

"You're so wet already", he says softly, making me close my eyes in embarrassment and arousal

Giving me another kiss, he continues, "You smell so fucking good"

"Fuck", I whimper, shivers running up and down my spine

I feel the band of my panties sliding down, the air cool on my pussy when he finally pulls them off

He widens my legs more and I can't help but look at him look at my cunt

"So pretty", he says, kissing me without a barrier now and it sends shockwaves up my body, "So small. So pink"

He gives me kiss after kiss all over, my pussy lips, between them, my clit

And it feels so good

I can't believe this is Seonghwa doing this

Suddenly I feel the flat of his tongue on me, licking up slowly, making sure I feel all of it

"Oh my god", I cry, pleasure coming so fast it's surprising

He moves his tongue at a steady pace, up and down and it feels so goddamn good

I feel his fingers spread and hold me open, his tongue licking right at my slit then dragging all the way up my pussy finishing by flicking my clit

Over and over

"Fuck!", I moan, feeling myself getting wetter and wetter with every swipe of his tongue

Goddamn Hongjoong was right

Seonghwa is amazing with his tongue

He knows how to use all of his tongue- the flat of it, the tip, all making sure I feel all of his tongue

And it's fucking amazing

And I'm so horny I'm ready to cum embarrassingly fast

"Ssss... Seonghwa....", I call, "I'm..I'm..gonna..."

"Go ahead", he tells me, his tongue going right back on me, licking and swirling

"Oh fuck!", I yell, massive pleasure taking over me, my fingers gripping his sheets so fucking hard

I can't...it's so much pleasure and so good

His tongue doesn't stop, licking me through my orgasm

My god he goes all in

No wonder all the girls scream and rave about his tongue

"You taste so fucking good, it's fucking ridiculous", he moans softly

"Fuck are you serious?", I pant

"Dead serious. Your cum is the best I ever tasted. You're pussy is the best I've ever eaten"

"Oh my fucking god", I moan, his words shocking the fuck out of me

There's no way he's serious

I can't be the best

Right?

All thoughts leave my mind when his tongue rolls over my clit

"Seonghwa, oh shit", I moan, more pleasure hitting me hard

His tongue moves over my clit so fast, my body shaking from the bliss

Without thinking, I plunge my hand in his black hair, tugging hard on it as he keeps going

His hands squeeze my thighs, keeping my legs open for him

His mouth wraps around my throbbing clit and the second he sucks, my body is thrown into pleasure I have never felt before

Seriously, never felt this before and fuck I don't want it to stop

He increases his speed with each suck until he's going hard and fast

"Seonghwa fuck", I moan, the bliss so intensely crashing over me

"Fuck you're clit is throbbing so hard", he murmurs between sucks, "Begging me to suck it"

"Oh god"

Fuck I never knew I'd like to hear a guy talk while I was being pleasured

But Seonghwa and his voice is turning me on even more

"Feels so good against my lips, so good in my mouth", he says, "Best clit I ever sucked on"

"Seonghwa", I whine

"Mmm baby, yell my name", he moans, continuing to suck hard

Jesus Christ he's so hot

How did I not know he's so hot?

My back arches off the bed as I get closer and closer, my hand pulling the strands of his hair hard

He doesn't stop and I feel myself snap

"Seonghwa! Oh my fucking god Seonghwa!", I shout, coming hard, my mind blanking

He sucks me through it until I finish then his tongue moves to my hole, licking and moaning, "So fucking good"

His amazing tongue circles my slit over and over, as I lay in his bed, my thighs shaking

Suddenly his tongue plunges inside me and I scream from the pleasure

His tongue moves fast, fucking in and out of me, my pussy throbbing and clenching his tongue hard

"Fuck baby, keep throbbing on my tongue", he urges, his tongue plunging in as far as he can get it, wiggling around

Stars burst in my vision as I continually yell his name

"Fuck you're tongue Seonghwa! You're tongue is amazing", I yell, waves of pleasure crashing into my body over and over

How is he not tired?

How is his jaw not tired?

I don't know but fuck I'm glad he can still keep going

I'm so close again, whining his name over and over

"Yes, good girl. Fuck, cum on my tongue baby", he groans and it seems like that I needed because his tongue slides in and I explode

"Seonghwa!", I shout, holding his head against my cunt as I throb and cum all over his tongue

I hear him moaning as his tongue stays buried inside me

When it's over, I let go of him, hearing him swallow over and over

He pulls his tongue out, then asks, "One more"

I lift my head, looking at him and getting so turned on to see his face so wet with juice and my cum on it

His dark brown eyes look into mine, "Please. Just one more"

I can't say no to him and the thing is I don't want to

I should be completely overstimulated but I'm not

I want more

Running my fingers in his hair, he closes his eyes, biting his bottom lip

Fuck he's stunning

Completely stunning

"Ok"

He opens his eyes, lust blazing in them as he nods

His mouth wraps around my clit again, sucking over and over and Jesus Christ he looks so pretty in between my legs

As he goes at my clit hard, I feel his fingers slide inside my cunt

"Fuck", I shiver

His fingers move around, pressing everywhere until he presses on the right spot and I scream, getting wetter

He looks at me, letting go of my clit and smirks, "Got it"

I'm still getting over how completely sexy he looks when he smirks when his mouth goes back around my clit, sucking hard

And at the same time his fingers massage my spot, every so often pressing into it

"Oh god oh god", I repeat, my back arching, my hand pulling his hair, the other hand clenching his sheets so hard it's hurting my hand

The pleasure is taking over completely

I can't think, I can't feel anything but his mouth and fingers

His fingers press on my spot just as he sucks and I'm blinded by sheer ecstasy

"Seonghwa! Seonghwa!", I cry, tears falling down my face as unbelievable bliss hits me hard

"Fuck so pretty baby", he moans, pulling his fingers out, putting them on my clit and rubbing, "Keep squirting baby"

I feel his tongue against me again, by my hole and I'm barely registering that I'm squirting and if his mouth is by my pussy that means he's swallowing my squirt too

And that makes my brain implode

As the intense pleasure ebbs away, he slowly stops rubbing my clit, slowly pulling his mouth away

My body feels heavy and I feel like I can't breath but my head is blissfully empty

I feel fingers running through my hair, a voice softly calling my name

I open my eyes, Seonghwa's face in my vision

"Are you ok Jo?", he asks

I'm so much more than ok

But I don't think I can talk right now

I nod

"Was it too much?", he asks worriedly

I shake my head, "No. It was amazing. Perfect"

He smiles shyly and god it's stunning

"Do you need anything? Water? Food?"

I shake my head

"Ok. You can lay down as long as you want ok? There's no rush"

I nod, grateful that he's letting the feeling in my body come back before I have to leave

"I'm gonna go to the living room ok?"

"Wait", I ask

"Yeah?"

"Don't you want-"

He shakes his head, "No Jo. I didn't do it to get anything back. I did it because I wanted to, ok?"

I nod, still finding that completely strange

"You can take a nap if you want to", he says, "Just don't rush ok? If you need something, let me or Hongjoong know, ok?"

"Yeah. Thanks"

He moves to the foot of the bed, putting his blanket on me

He smiles softly again, then he leaves

And I'm amazed that he's letting me stay in his bed, instead of kicking me out like most guys

As I lay there, I hear footsteps pass by

I look to the door, seeing Hongjoong pass by

He doubles back, sticking his head in the room, smirking, "I told you"

"Oh fuck off", I say tiredly

He laughs and continues to wherever he's going

I close my eyes, planning on resting for a few minutes then I'm gonna get up and go

Hongjoong is going to see his girlfriend and I was going to go home and chill out

Just a few more minutes in this comfortable bed and I'm leaving

[thesunsethour]

my official ranking of (basically) every song by hozier

(ignoring some collabs/songs from soundtracks etc)

(this is just my opinion no one shout at me)

(he has no Bad songs, only Less Brilliant ones)

52) To Noise Making (Sing) (the sing chorus at the end goes on just *that* bit too long

51) Sunlight (slightly repetitive)

50) Nobody (maybe this is controversial? does however contain one of my favourite lyrics “it’s suicide Tuesday back in LA”)

49) Sedated (the lowest ranked song of his self titled album and it’s not because it’s not good it’s because his discography is fucking insane)

48) Someone New (only ranked this low because it was very overplayed in Ireland when it came out)

47) Almost (Sweet Music) (this was never my favourite song but who can resist “i laugh like me again she laughs like you”)

46) Son of Nyx (hozier made the best study music song of all time)

45) Wasteland, Baby! (sounds exactly like the album feels, if that makes sense?)

44) Swan Upon Leda (would be higher but i keep accidentally forgetting to add it to my playlist because it’s not on an album. also Free Palestine)

43) Better Love (hozier’s voice is so beautiful)

42) Dinner & Diatribes (ever since someone said he sounds like Count von Count in this song i can’t un-hear it)

41) It Will Come Back (so sexy. one of the sexiest songs in his oeuvre)

40) NFWMB (an under appreciated classic. i remember playing this in the car when my dad was dropping our friend’s kid to school and getting in trouble for the cursing)

39) The Parting Glass - Live from The Late Late Show (not only a beautiful rendition, but it was also performed during covid when everyone was feeling very hopeless and he just captivated ireland for a few short moments. gorgeous)

38) Anything But (we are reaching the territory of songs that are so goddamned good that it feels a crime they are so low down. he has dozens of such songs)

37) In the Woods Somewhere (eerie vibes which are beautiful and exacerbated when you find out he based this on a dream he had)

36) To Be Alone (again, CRIMINAL that this is so low down. blame hozier having so many good songs. don’t blame me)

35) Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene (a bop AND a banger AND a jam. triple threat)

34) Damage Gets Done (their voices are soooo beautiful together)

33) Be (“When Atlas acts the maggot” is one of Hozier’s best Irish culture lines)

32) The Jackboot Jump - Live (BUT THE JACKBOOT ONLY JUMPS DOWN ON PEOPLE STANDING UP!!!)

31) Shrike (this song made me cry when i first heard it and i am Not one to cry)

30) To Someone From a Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe) (GAEILGE MENTION!!!!)

29) Jackie and Wilson (one of my first ever favourite hozier songs)

28) Talk (i love the myth of orpheus and eurydice and i ALSO imagine being loved by hozier)

27) Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue) (blowjobs)

26) Eat Your Young (hozier wrote this for all first year trinity students who had to read Swift for their intro to irish writing lectures)

25) All Things End (don’t be sad. we begin again :). hozier said so)

24) I, Carrion (Icarian) (soft, sad, beautiful. like hozier)

23) Nina Cried Power (feat. Mavis Staples) (also very overplayed in Ireland but this time it really deserved it!!)

22) Cherry Wine - Live (one of the most beautiful and recognisable guitar bits of all time. yes i said guitar bits i don’t know anything about guitars)

21) As It Was (the drug the dark the light the flame…)

20) First Time (“anyway”)

19) Who We Are (makes me feel like my chest is being lifted to god)

18) No Plan (“As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” is one of the all-time great Hozier lyrics actually)

17) Would That I (it’s illegal for anyone to dislike this song)

16) De Selby (Part 2) (he wants to run against the world that’s turning!! he moves so fast that he’d outpace the dawn!!)

15) De Selby (Part 1) (AN ENTIRE VERSE AS GAEILGE)

14) Like Real People Do (once again, how is this so low? hozier is too good. “we should just kiss like real people do” lyrics of all time)

13) Butchered Tongue (i wrote an entire essay post about this song. with citations)

12) From Eden (time has maybe made us forget just how fucking insanely good this song is. IDEALISM SITS IN PRISON CHIVALRY FELL ON HIS SWORD INNOCENCE DIED SCREAMING. also reminds me of verse 2 of Human by The Killers)

11) Work Song (WHEN MY TIME COMES AROUND LAY ME GENTLY IN THE COLD DARK EARTH. NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN. I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER. also special mention for: “in the low lamp light i was free” aka the name of one of my criminal minds fanfics. moving on)

10) Run (SOOOOO underrated. literally rare is this love keep it covered! run to me run to me lover! run until you feel your lungs bleeding!)

9) Movement (i played this song every day on repeat for 2 months when i was 17)

8) Arsonist’s Lullabye (wario of better love. don’t ask me how or why)

7) In a Week (feat. Karen Cowley) (the most gorgeous beautiful song of all time their voices are perfect for each other - I’D BE HOME WITH YOU)

6) First Light (BUT AFTER THIS IM NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME!!! AND I AM NEVER GOING BACK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!)

5) Francesca (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. URGAAAHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’D TELL THEM PUT ME BACK IN IT!!!!!! DARLING I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!!!! IF I COULD HOLD YOU FOR A MINUTE!!!!! DARLING I’D GO THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

4) Unknown / Nth (DO YOU KNOWWWWW I COULD BREAK BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF THE GOODNESS LOVE I STILL CARRY FOR YOU!!!! he had no right to sing this. and as beautifully as he does. makes me cry. sha-la-la)

3) Abstract (Psychopomp) (this wasn’t originally my favourite when i first listened to Unreal Unearth has grown on my heart and will not let go. did you know the memory hurts but does me no harm. and did you SEE HOW IT SHINESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

2) Take Me To Church (this being his debut single. DEBUT. SINGLE. no one else was doing it like him. the vocals the lyrics god the beautiful lyrics the MUSIC VIDEO!!!! ireland’s best living artist.)

1) Foreigner’s God (my favourite song of all time. no notes. utterly perfect in every way.)

[kazumahashimoto]

He held off the two biggest, baddest war machines BY HIMSELF that one time as if it was a regular Tuesday.

He's a giant hypocrite and a goofy dad.

He's the only one who looks at himself becoming a monster and goes "someone should stop me" instead of going psycho.

He's Angeal Hewley.

Uh anyway, um, an ask...

How many times can his farm boy muscles bench press Sephiroth before he gets tired?

well firstly i'd like to apologize for the wall of text i'm about to give you but unfortunately you HAVE just activated my trap card by calling angeal a dad. i feel strongly about this o7

angeal is, plain and simple, not old enough to be zack's dad and i truly feel like that is an important distinction. angeal is 25. he should be at the club joke. but literally like, he is far too young and zack is too old for this to work.

besides that point, i feel like slapping the Dad label onto angeal is reductive not only of his character but also of his relationship with zack. "dadgeal" is a quick and simple, small quirky way to describe their relationship to one another. not saying you constantly have to wax poetic about them (the way i like to LOL) but it gives them a certain flavor they simply do not have.

the relationship between zack and angeal is a complicated one. and it's not that i can't see the paternal aspects of the way angeal treats him, but at the same time it's so much more than that. like i think i said this somewhere a few months ago but to me the paternal aspects of angeal are more like, accidentally calling your teacher "mom" because as a kid at school a teacher fills a similar role in that space, or a teacher referring to their students as Their kids, because at school they might as well be. but kids don't generally Really see their teachers as their parents, or teachers viewing students as their actual kids. there's nuance. and with angeal, especially from zack's perspective, they have more than just a student and teacher or mentor and mentee relationship. they also have something different from a father and son relationship.

even for me as someone who enjoys viewing them in a brotherly fashion, i think one of the most important pieces to understanding their relationship is when zack is knocked out after falling through the church's roof, imagining talking to his mom, when he says, "i want to help out a friend."

a friend. not something vague like "someone important to me", or even something more distant like "my mentor", what he calls angeal is a friend. despite the fact that angeal is nine years older than him, is higher ranked than him, and is in a direct position of authority over him, zack first and foremost views him as his friend. this shows his innocence he still has, it shows how deeply he cares for angeal in such a simple yet important way. zack sees angeal as his friend before anything else.

this is where i think the paternal aspects really reduce their relationship, trying to fit it into an easier box to make cheeky jokes about, rather than acknowledging how, especially on zack's end, he does not view angeal in that way.

and i don't think angeal views zack as being his son either, at least not seriously. like, i can envision him referring to zack and others as "son" that way older men do with boys just cos he feels like the type to try and Act beyond his years, but he's still just 25. he's not gonna see a sixteen year old as being his kid like that.

it's kind of late rn so i feel like i'm losing my train of thought here a bit but the bottom line for me is that zack and angeal just don't ever treat each other like father and son. they're obsessed with each other and thinking about each other constantly and angeal wants to protect him and zack looks up to him, but that doesn't make them father and son, even in a cute quick jokey way. they are friends. zack does not just see angeal as a figure of authority over him, he sees him as his friend. no need to replace that with a different type of authority figure.

anyway, to answer your question, theoretically if sephiroth were to allow himself to be bench pressed, i think angeal could do it long enough to have me staring gayly at his arms the whole time

[torchickentacos]

18 and 25 for May!! (challenge mode: don't say drew for the first one heh)

OOOH thank you! ❤️ Excited for these! From this ask game!

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

I actually have a few that I could go with here, but I think the stand-out is May and Ash's mentor/mentee relationship and getting to see how that grows. I'm (slowly) making my way through early AG (and need to watch and write up my post on ep 6 soon) and it's striking how bad at everything May is in early episodes, said with utmost love. Like, she's terrible at this. Worse than Ash was, maybe. Definitely worse than Dawn or pretty much any other starting companion. But what's so great about her shaky start is that it's a great contrast to Ash at that point. AG Ash is generally Ash at his most abrasive and confident from my wide-but-not-thorough experiences with other seasons. He's at something of a peak right now before going on to experience challenges with Paul (which I need to actually make a post on at some point because AG actually set this up really well using May and Drew/Ash and Gary's rivalry as baselines, only to flip the script with Paul). Anyways, that peak makes him a good teacher for May, and she's as receptive a student as I think she can be given everything.

It's really nice to see her grow in ways that can directly be tied to Ash, and he has a few instances of growing from experiences with her. You can see Ash's battle style reflected in May's so clearly that other trainers make note of it several times- she's fast, hard-hitting, unconventional. She fights like Ash (theoretically. We're supposed to think that she does. In practice, AG battles tend to be 'hit it until it dies' half the time but we're supposed to think that deep strategy went into it every time). She genuinely learns from him and we see the effects of it in a meaningful way. I also think that, in part due to the mentor/mentee relationship, I remember Ash actually being really protective over May compared to other companions? I mean, obviously we're not looking at some episodes (cough, the bicker the better, cough) and he always has to be the hero of everyting but I remember a fair few times that he really went out of his way for her. Which was probably just advanceshipping to balance out contest tbh but I'll take it platonically because we LOVE platonic bonds that are just as strong as anything else!

Save for a few... outliers, May and Ash get along incredibly well and I've always enjoyed the mentor/mentee thing! Also, look at their bulbasaurs 🥺

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Okay. Here's the thing. I do not remember my first impression. I think I was three. I'm only a little older than AG itself is, and I've quite literally been with it as far as I can remember. I grew up with it. I remember going as May for halloween one year at around eight, probably. I know that she's always been my favorite, and not much has changed other than the fact that I like her more now.

I've had the great opportunity to be part of online communities that have deepened my love of all of the characters, and May's no exception. I've spoken to so many people, likeminded and otherwise, and it's been so cool to feel in real time as my view of characters deepens as I listen and discuss them with others.

She's still my favorite. She always has been and at this rate always will be. That hasn't changed at all, but I think that I appreciate her and every other character more from my experiences in communities. I also just hold more sentimentality now than I did before- I associate pokeani with friends! It just makes me happier than it used to despite the fact that I should have 'outgrown' it by now. I do not believe in that. Some people on tumblr like to go on about people who like children's media having fandom brainrot or whatever, to which I say 1.) I've also been enjoying the medical-mystery-people-dying show lately and 2.) who fucking cares. Genuinely. We're all on tumblr. It's the devil's sacrament thing. We're all at the devil's sacrament. We're still blogging about tv shows on company/campus/your own time. You left your dignity and superiority at the login page.

anyways lol i like may :) she's fun.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

AO3 Fics (3) masterlist

part one, part two

a kingdom of hearts (but not of love) (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton M, 12k

Summary: luke’s a prince. well, a prince who loves to wear dresses and loves girly things. however, he feels though he’s missing that special someone in his life. although it may just change when he meets a special prince named ashton.

or the one where luke’s basically a princess, ashton is his soulmate, and things get in their fucking way before they fall in love.

all i want (ao3) - lourrygum michael/luke E, 15k

Summary: Luke is a camboy and Michael has to have normal conversations with him like he didn’t watch him come untouched just last night

Or, Lush isn’t Luke’s only place of employment, Calum is falling in love with the curly haired dork that comes in to his coffee shop on a daily basis and Michael’s going to stop watching Luke’s videos soon, he swears.

Beginnings (ao3) - thenewbrokenscene michael/luke M, 45k

Summary: [College/University AU] Michael Clifford was a sophomore transfer student, trapped living in the dorms again after a technicality dropped him back down to freshman status. He had requested a single room, determined to focus on his school work, get out of university housing as quickly as possible, and start his real life, but of course, on August 1st he received the obligatory “Get to know your new roommate this summer! You can contact Luke Hemmings, freshman student, at his school email…” message in his inbox.

Whatever. Let’s just get this year over with.

be your teenage dream tonight (ao3) - burningthefutures luke/ashton E, 8k

Summary: Ashton, a photographer living in NYC, finds himself entranced when he sets his eyes on Luke Hemmings, a famous model, at a party.

can’t help falling in love with you (ao3) - prettyluke (parting_ways) luke/ashton T, 50k

Summary: Luke shows up in Britain after 25 years right in time for World War Two to start, and Ashton has been waiting for someone to yank him from his melancholy since Christmas of 1914.

come alive and bring the thunder (ao3) - merlypops michael/luke, past luke/ashton E, 36k

Summary: Prince Luke of the Faeries is forced to marry King Michael after a War between kingdoms threatens to tear their lives apart… and maybe Luke and Michael fall in love too. Maybe.

Coy Fish - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) calum/ashton E, 19k

Summary: “Please don’t fuck our yoga instructor.” Michael massages his forehead, eyes squinting shut. “We’ll lose our discount.”

But that certainly won’t keep Calum from trying.

craving something sweeter (ao3) - toddamyanderson luke/calum T, 10k

Summary: “Y’know, it was either the plushies, or the cute guy sitting on his roof drinking lemonade. Surprisingly enough, you won.” Calum’s voice is quiet, but Luke can still hear the coy smile in his voice. Hear, because Luke is still looking down at the fairy floss, trying to hide his pleased grin.

“Damn.” Luke tames his wild grin into a more reasonable smile so he can face Calum. “I feel like the plushies deserve more credit.“

Fine Print - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, past luke/calum E, 61k

Summary: If Michael says Ashton Irwin will be a good bodyguard then sure, Luke will put his money on Ashton being a good bodyguard. Besides, all Luke needs is a shadow. So what if he doesn’t like him?

Who ever cared about liking their shadow anyway?

or the one where Luke is a heartbroken solo artist who can’t sleep and Ashton is his less-than-enthusiastic bodyguard

go for miles (ao3) - strxngersagain luke/calum, michael/ashton G, 11k

Summary: When Calum had bought tickets to Glastonbury Festival with his ex nearly a full year ago, he never imagined he would have ended up going alone. The very messy breakup of a nearly-three-year relationship pushed any and all thoughts of future-plans to the back of his mind. He had almost entirely forgotten about the tickets tucked into an envelope, if he was being honest with himself. It wasn’t until an email dropped into his inbox with the subject: ‘We can’t wait to see you!’, reminding him that oh shit, they had bought tickets together and oh shit, that’s in like two weeks.

He spent the better part of the afternoon sitting on the living room floor trying to figure out what to do with his ticket. It was too late for him to transfer it to someone else, he couldn’t sell it because it had his name printed on it, and he didn’t really want to lose out on the £300 he spent on the damn thing by just not going. So, he decided then and there that he would go alone. Ex-boyfriend be damned, he’d have a great time even if he was by himself.

hello, hello (ao3) - bellawritess luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 30k

Summary: For one long, blinking minute, Luke stares at Ashton and wonders if he’s hallucinating. Because that’s definitely Ashton. That’s Ashton Irwin, his former best friend from Sunny Days, the show they co-starred on as children.

But it’s also definitely Ashton Fletcher, professional film actor worth many millions, possibly hundreds of millions, of dollars, standing on his doorstep, wind ruffling his hair.

Jumping before the Gunshot has Gone Off (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/luke, calum/ashton, luke/louis E, 128k

Summary: (In which Michael’s hated Luke since they met, and Luke’s hated him back—except, somehow, they can’t stop having sex with one another. To make matters worse, Luke is dumb enough to go and fall in love with the man who hates him.)

KawaiiCalPal (ao3) - TheLarryDiaries michael/calum, luke/ashton M, 25k

Summary: Calum is an adorable YouTuber known as KawaiiCalPal. He’s most known for his oversized sweaters and matching flower crowns. Also, he’s in love with the world famous punk rock band, Swallow the Goldfish. But more accurately, the lead guitarist, Michael Clifford.

Luke, Ashton, and Michael are the three band members of Swallow the Goldfish. They all happen to be jelly beans, Calum’s name for his subscribers. It’s also quite obvious that Michael believes Calum is his ‘soulmate’. It’s also remarkable as Calum is very open with his homosexuality, and love for Michael.

It really started when Calum had the opportunity to interview the band for a video.

Le Chatelier’s Principle (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) luke/ashton, michael/calum E, 54k

Summary: Ever since being promoted to head waiter, Luke had had one problem that came in the form of a six foot, curly-headed, hazel eyed demon. And by demon, he meant his frustratingly stubborn, unfairly attractive co-worker, Ashton Irwin.

Playing With Chemistry (ao3) - fourdrunksluts michael/ashton, luke/calum E, 17k

Summary: It’s the busiest week of the year at the escape room Ashton manages, and it’s hard enough without Michael Clifford tempting him at every turn.

See the World Hanging Upside Down (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine ot4, michael/luke/calum, luke/ashton M, 117k

Summary: “You should go out with me tonight,” says Luke, and that’s not what Ashton expected at all.

Ashton’s stomach jumps to his throat. He feels a little faint, and he holds his breath. He’s a little confused. He could have sworn Luke was in a relationship with either Calum or Michael—he’s still not entirely sure exactly which one Luke actually goes home to—but it sounds an awfully lot like Luke’s asking Ashton out on a date.

It’s a miracle, really, that he doesn’t humiliate himself before Luke’s done talking, because the next few words that fall from Luke’s mouth make it entirely clear it’s not a date.

“I’ve been talking you up to Mikey and Cal for ages, and they’re dying to meet you.”

(In which Ashton pines after Luke, who is already in a relationship, and Luke really wants Ashton to meet Michael and Calum.)

Stand Again (ao3) - crash-queen aka stelleshine (stelleshine) luke/calum, michael/luke, jack/luke, michael/ashton E, 69k

Summary: The promise of a good pie brings Calum into Luke’s bakery one day, and Luke finds more than just a new customer.

the empty white (ao3) - asymmetric ot4 E, 33k

Summary: (People all over the world start vanishing into thin air. Calum is one of them.)

there’s no need to run and hide (when the world leaves a scar) (ao3) -haveufoundwhaturlookingfor luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 10k

Summary: Luke is a new intern, and he gets along with pretty much everyone he works with. Well, everyone except for Ashton Irwin. Ashton is cold, and doesn’t give him the time of day. Certain events keep on bringing the two together whether they like it or not, and eventually, Luke finds out why Ashton is so cold.

we’ve got time on our side (ao3) - fannyann luke/calum, calum/liam E, 57k

Summary: Calum meets Luke in the midst of buying new underwear. Two tours and a lot of heartache later, they finally get it right.

[citizen-zero]

I guess part of the reason that the whole “proshipper/anti” discourse is so silly to me is because like. I actually lived the situation that so many of them talk about, the whole “predators will show your fic to minors in order to groom them” thing. Except that’s not…that’s not really what happened.

The 25 year old woman I “dated” when I was 15 was someone I met through the Hetalia fandom; we did a lot of NSFW RPs and bonded over smutty fic. She drew, commissioned, and purchased smutty art and doujins that she shared with me. She came to visit me twice and like, we never went further than kissing, but I know for a fact that she wanted to. She said as much, and I think if I hadn’t been worried about getting caught by my mom, we would’ve. And this isn’t super distressing for me to talk about but it still makes me feel a little dirty. Not in a shame-filled way, I don’t think it’s my fault or anything, but I don’t feel good about it either.

Anyway, point is, it’s literally the situation that people wave around as an example of what might happen if we let people write about Sexually Immoral Topics, and yet I maintain that none of it was the fault of NSFW fan art/fiction. Not even the handful of teacher/student or incest fics I read and enjoyed—even when I was “dating” her, I recognized that that sort of relationship was wrong and should only be enjoyed in a fictional context. That sort of content was cathartic for me because I could engage with it but didn’t have to see or experience it IRL where it would have actual consequences. It’s the same as how playing GTA let me shoot rocket launchers at cops and blow up cars without…you know, doing that.

No, all of it was squarely the fault of the adult woman who was trying to fuck a teenage girl. All the emotional stress I felt then and all the lingering sour taste I have now is her fault. It wasn’t a single one of those artists’ or authors’ faults that, for almost two years, I was denying/unable to recognize the wrongness of my own situation even though I could recognize it in fictional ones. All of it was her fault for earning the trust of a teenager and then pursuing a “relationship.” The only function that the sexual content served was to be just another part of fandom to bond over, just like we bonded over cosplay and merchandise and new canon material and anime episodes and dubs and—you get it. It was one part of a whole. Like, smutty fan works are so common that it didn’t raise a red flag, because, well…everyone likes that stuff. If we’d been hanging out offline it would’ve been a red flag because adults talking about about sex with teenagers in a non-educational context is creepy. But in the fandom space, it’s just normal and part of the fun and it was okay because it wasn’t about us, it was about fake people.

So that makes it hard for me to take the discourse seriously, because 1) I don’t think most of you even know what you’re angry about anymore, and 2) sexual fan works and RPs didn’t have the heavy influence in my situation that you think they did. They were a part of the equation, but that woman could’ve easily groomed me even if we’d never talked about sex before we got into a “relationship.” The reason why I could recognize the wrongness of a fictional relationship but not my own was because she had earned my trust and used it to emotionally manipulate me into believing we were an exception.

I think a lot of you have a very…early 2000s after-school special idea of the role fandom can play in grooming and abuse. I think a lot of you imagine a creepy adult sending a teacher/student fic to a 14 year old and saying, “See, this is normal and okay because it’s in a fan fiction.” And I’m not saying that never ever happens, but I think it’s far more common for it to happen the same way it does offline: the adult bonds with the minor over shared interests, earns their trust, makes them feel cool and special, and then uses that trust and goodwill to convince them that the abuse is okay and that other people “don’t/won’t understand.” It’s exactly the same tactics as adult men “dating” high school girls.

I think it’s unproductive at best to go after artists and authors who create the kind of content I was reading back then, because like, I recognized that the fictional scenarios would be wrong IRL and it still didn’t help. I’m betting most people reading AND making that stuff recognize on some level that it’d be wrong IRL. Blaming abuse on fan work and not solely on predators means that one of the ways that predators can gain your trust is by aligning themselves with “antis,” the same way that right wingers can get you to agree with them on anything by dressing it up in progressive language. I dread to say it but I am confident that it’s already happening.

I’m not saying anyone needs to read something they’re uncomfortable with, or interact with people who enjoy those things, but I do think you need to develop some nuance and recognize that the vast majority of people making the sexual content you dislike aren’t doing so for nefarious reasons. Yes, fiction can normalize and perpetuate bad ideas, but fiction isn’t the cause, it’s the symptom. You’re not going to end sexual abuse by witch hunting people who write about, like, teenagers dating and having sex (which, as we all know, definitely doesn’t happen IRL). At best it’s unproductive, and at worst you create an environment where teens feel even greater shame about wanting to explore their sexuality by writing about characters their own age, and adults feel afraid to draw inspiration from their own life experiences for fear someone will call them a predator. Which sucks for everyone, but it also means that queer teens and adults (who are already made to feel like their feelings are dirty and inappropriate) effectively end up closeted and unable to come to terms with their identities and see their experiences represented somewhere.

So…I don’t really have a smooth conclusion here. I just think the shipping discourse is fucking stupid because it assumes a world that runs on Internet Stranger Danger PSA logic.

[elderflowergin]

2022 kdrama/movie roundup!

It was a tough year for keeping up with anything because life, toddler, etc, but here are the things I watched, in part or whole, that I remembered. Hot Takes Incoming!

Sell Your Haunted House - Jang Nara in boots. Kang Mal-geum in dark lipstick. Touching, gay, many mother issues. The girls were fantastic. The boys weren't bad.

25 21 - I was dropped back into the 90s. Surprisingly, I didn't hate it. The girls were fantastic. Na Hee-do was correct to dump Baek Yi-jin. Moon Ji-woong, perfect boy. Ji Seung-wan for PRESIDENT!

Why Her? - Someone thought it'd be a great idea to throw Seo Hyun-jin's ex-client (shudder) current-student (TRIPLE SHUDDER) Hwang In-yeop into the romance mix when billionaire CHOI YOUNG-JOON and Crown Prince Bae In-hyuk were already there. And they thought it'd be funny if Hwang In-yeop won. NO.

Eve - The superior commentary this year on the horrors of capitalism. It ends with reparations (Park Byung-eun hands over his entire empire to Seo Yeji, who promptly divests it), rich people dying in horrible ways and Seo Yeji doing the tango. Were the makjang knobs dialled up so high they're broken? Yes. Was it fun? YES, because I got to see Park Byung-eun's range, which includes Pained Hottie, and Seo Yeji running men's feet over in cars wearing couture. We can ask for no more.

Juvenile Justice - No one asked "What happens if we take three of the most charismatic working actors in Korean entertainment today and squeezed the life out of them?" But someone answered anyway.

My Liberation Notes - Lee El, a revelation. Mr Gu, a revelation when he started talking, and not the good kind.

Grid - Kim Mu-yeol. Kim Ah-joong and Jang So-yeon had a great year. I didn't understand the time thing at all. This is a me problem, but probably the only time I'll face it this year. Right? RIGHT?

Bloody Heart - Jang Hyuk has done nothing wrong, ever. The girls were fantastic. Lee Joon, I heard your script was meant for Lee Joon-hyuk. Sorry.

Pachinko - The girls were fantastic. Kim Min-ha, baby, you're gorgeous. JUNG EUN-CHAE was everything. Sorry to Lee Min-ho, who had the tough double role of acting as Ko Hansu and also like he belonged to this cast of greats.

Our Blues - Great acting, but my own blues were sufficient for me. The girls were fantastic. Unwanted to wanted pregnancy storyline: no thanks. This is a me problem, but probably the only time I'll face it this year. Right? RIGHT?

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - 75% love; 25% NOT THIS AGAIN.

Little Women - The girls were fantastic. I ran out of air by this point in the year. I'll come back for you, gothic interior design, poison orchids, and Song Joong-ki in the best role he's played all year!

Through the Darkness - Almost too many twirling moustache psychos and dead girls. I did it for Kim Nam-gil because he's so pretty in this and in case it wasn't abundantly clear by now, I don't think with my brain. The lone living girl - Kim So-jin - was fantastic. Jin Seon-kyu, well-adjusted stealth hottie!

Reborn Rich - Samsung owes Lee Sung-min its entire semiconductor business as @rain-hat said. Lee Sung-min owes me reparations for making me watch this show for him primarily (secondarily Park Hyuk-kwon, Kim Shin-rok, Park Ji-hyun and Kim Nam-hee for their acting; Kim Young-jae because he is THE DILF). I'm manifesting NO TIMESLIPS in 2023 dramas.

Under the Queen's Umbrella - Kim Hye-soo pushing up her hanbok sleeves to carry babies and do embroidery should be projected onto my tombstone unto eternity. The girls were fantastic. And I know this is unusual, so bear with me, but: the boys? FANTASTIC ALSO.

Movies:

Vikram - Fahaadh Faasil, my thoughts are nasty and you don't want to hear them. The girls might have been fantastic had they been permitted to live and not be dumdums. That was never going to happen, of course. There was torture and a baby in significant peril, but it was also the most fun I'd had in a while. I should get my head checked.

Ponniyin Selvan - The sheer scale of work and sweat that has gone into the enterprise of making Vikram seem taller than Trisha Krishnan for the last twenty years! Iconic. The girls were fantastic.

The Naked Kitchen - This is sold as a story of a woman choosing between two men. That is a lie. It's about a man coming to terms with his marriage drifting into polyamory, and enjoying it. Shin Min-ah and Ju Ji-hoon fuck in a museum, which was also weirdly sweet.

Asura City of Madness - AHJUSSHIS WHY. Hwang Jung-min's shirttails worked very hard in 2012. Jung Woo-sung ate glass and has pathological issues about being as handsome as he is. We love him for it. We did not love this.

Hunt - Love is your bestie learning how to write and direct just to write and direct you in the role of a lifetime for you, personally. I don't know if that's what happened here, but that's what love is. And chemistry is whatever these two guys have in this completely ordinary movie that did not give any feelings. Hwang Jung-min, pussy OUT.

Decision to Leave - A well-deserved love letter to Tang Wei, just beautifully shot, gorgeous.

Il Mare - Absolutely lovely little film, reliant almost entirely on the star power of two actors who are so charismatic they don't need to meet in the movie to convince you of their romance.

Laal Singh Chaddha - There was a very beautiful wedding at the end. Aamir Khan's face must hurt.

Darlings - A movie that appreciated and respected noted hottie Shefali Shah.