#anyways sorry for venting on main lmao

[hplonesomeart]

Damn this conversation really went from casually discussing hobbies into some more personal aspects of myself. I honestly wasn’t expecting to pour my heart out to a literal ai impersonation of a fictional comfort character, yet here we are. Goes to show how significantly he’s tied into my past after all, eh

[dandyshucks]

need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

[icicledream-archive]

man someone really ended a friendship with me bc i made. a dumb joke. about a ship i don't like. huh.

[artekai]

It'd be nice not to feel like shit literally every night right before going to bed :(

[frothingatthemaw]

Sending an ask so you arent sad, what are you doing right now?

- loser

hi you

i opened tumblr to answer dms and i also need to send someone an ask cause i kinda promised them... i want to watch content but my brain is unfavorable of anything that i think of so.... also looked at my "things i wanna do" note in my phone and i don't really wanna do any of that either. i could start making my way through the list of kmoxville content i wanna grab so i can queue it, but ughhhh.... i don't wanna do that either. it's such useless problems to have but autism is making this fucking dreadful tbh

[peribirb]

late night / early morning ramble

[thegardengrows-infrozenrain]

love seeing eddsw*rld fans liking my content.

like um... no? bye!

[butterppretzel]

[hopefullyababe]

girl i triggered myself i hate it here

[choccy-milky]

bruh i need to vent about a rude comment i got on my recent chap and also about clora, cuz its something thats been on my mind for a while now. it has spoilers to my most recent chap tho so im putting it below

so in my most recent chap clora gets hit by the killing curse but thanks to seb sacrificing himself for her, it doesn’t work/she survives. and I got a rly rude comment about how that’s super cringe and that clora is a "shoe horning of every possible manifestation of Mary-Sueism I have ever seen." theyre dropping my fic after almost 500k words bc apparently THAT’S where they draw the line and that "just somehow pulling it out the bag and surviving a killing curse from the power of love. In simpler terms, it’s absolutely cringe worthy" and "forgive me if I rolled an eye at the yet again invincible nature of Clora Clemons-the-one-eighth-Veela-extraordinaire"

BUT LIKE LMAO TELL ME U DIDN’T READ/WATCH HARRY POTTER WITHOUT TELLING ME. that’s literally what happens to harry??but its only cringe when it happens to our "mary-sue" clora? like yeah sure love magic might be a bit cringe but IM LITERALLY JUST PULLING FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. of all the things to take issue with in my fic and interpretations, theyre taking issue with something that’s canon BAHAHA.

and since im on the topic of clora being mary sue can I just say I hate the misogyny/internalized misogyny that i've seen some people (NOT A LOT, THANKFULLY) treat her with. like i get it, im not pale and blonde and as conventionally pretty as clora is, but even if I was, is that a reason to hate me?? and does being beautiful and well-liked = mary sue? bc as far as I know, mary sue is a chara who is just naturally amazing at everything and doesnt need to try hard and theyre just inexplicably great for no reason (like mc in the base game BAHHAA) if anything the mary sue in MY fic is seb LMAO (but hes a boy so its ok). like clora has worked hard and studied magic all her life due to being a squib and wanting to make up for not being able to DO it. she isnt good at flying, seb is still better at her than duelling, shes really short sighted when it comes to doing/thinking whats best for others and can be a huge idiot.... and like. the only guys that have even shown interest in clora on a real scale have been seb and leander (and then lawley for blackmail purposes, and also bc he hates seb) so its not like literally everyone is falling over themselves for her?? like her interactions with the main cast of boys (ominis, garreth, amit) theyre all indifferent to her LMAO but still, the fact that shes pretty and guys here and there might look at her and go o shes cute! doesnt make her a mary sue SORRy thats just called being attractive idk its just annoying that ppl automatically see a nice kind beautiful female character without any VISIBLE flaws and go SHES TOO PERFECT!! MARY SUE!! WAH IM JEALOUS! and like I get it bc when I was younger I probs would have been annoyed by clora as well due to my own insecurities and internalized misogyny but hey, how about u just realize that’s ur own problem and your own jealousy, and not a real one HAHAH anyway ive since evolved bc I used to be a ‘not like other girls’ type girl back in highschool. trying to be super tomboy-y bc I thought being feminine was cringe and too basic but now ive embraced it and love girly things and dresses and charas like clora who are still strong and showcase their strengths and weaknesses in subtler ways, and I want to smooch her and make out with her. get behind me clora ill protect you🤺🤺🤺

[staarlight-snow]

Reflections in the Murky Waters

[Short sequel to Murky Waters - Island of the Slaughtered]

TW: panic attacks (??), nightmares, ig horror, mentioned death

"Well, hoping is the only thing we can do right now.. Why not make the most of it? Right Noah?"

-

Cody jumped up from where he lay in cold sweat, tightly gripping at his shirt. His breathing was heavy and he felt tears run down his cheeks. He softly groaned – covering his ears with both his hands, his surroundings were quiet but his mind was loud. He winced at every memory, every thought and every imagery that stayed in his mind

"Another nightmare again?" A soft voice spoke, shuffling in her side of the cabin. "S-sorry.. Did I wake you?" Cody asked, moving his hands away from where they were. "No.." Gwen whispered, moving closer to the other. "I'm having trouble sleeping.. It's like every time I close my eyes I can hear him call my name." She vented, staring at the rotting wooden floor beneath them.

"Yeah.. I get the feeling. I have this.. recurring dream." He confessed, picking at the seams of his jeans. "Yeah? Want to talk about it?" Gwen offered, tilting her head as she looked at the boy. Cody took a deep breath and closed his eyes, images flashing in his mind. "It starts out with me, I walk out of the cabin holding some stuff. And I look out in the forest and he's there.. He's alive." He dragged out that last part with pain in his voice.

"I make my way towards him but.." He stopped for a moment. He hated this part. "E-every damn time I could even get close to him.. He gets pulled into the forest.. A-and it's quick! I ran after him, as fast as I could. Every night I go to bed, I try to save him.. even if it's only in my dream.." He breathed out, his voice getting weaker by the second. He's never confided these dreams with anyone before. He never thought talking about them could be just as painful as having them.

"But no matter how I try and what I do.. I couldn't save him." Tears were streaming down his face and his voice was broken. It was a pain to hear it. "Heh.. There was this one time, I managed to get to him in time. I had his hand in mine. And I was pulling him out of the water but something was also pulling him down. He told me 'Let go because it'll hurt more if you keep dwelling on it' I-I don't know if that was my brain telling me to get over it or.. if it was actually Noah.." Cody finished, he opened his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

Gwen moved her hand to the others back to console him. "It takes time to heal and right now, everyone in this cabin needs it but I think our main focus right now is to survive.. There's no point in healing if you know you'll get hurt again the next day." She sighed in defeat. It was like every slither of hope they had was slowly drifting away and all they had left was their lives. "Surviving? What's the point! There's nothing to live for anymore." Cody cried. "Don't say that!" Gwen scolded, furrowing her eyebrows.

"We promised we'd get out together.. And that's what I had going for me.. It's not like someone's waiting for me at home anyway." He muttered in between sobs, moving his legs closer to his chest. Gwen looked at the other and sighed. "Can you atleast promise me we'll both get out of here? You and me.." She asked. Cody slumped over and rested his chin on top of his knees.

"It's what they would've wanted.." He answered. "You're right.. They're our friends, they only want what's best for us." Gwen smiled, to which Cody returned. They hadn't smiled in a while – they never found a reason to anyway.

Maybe this time the world will be fair.

--

i woke up and immediately thought, "man cody's brain chemistry must've been fucked lmao.. lemme write abt that" HUAHAUAHUA I CRAVE ANGST RAGHH 👺👺 *feral gremlin noises*

anyway this isnt me shipping gwen and cody, unless u wanna view it that way ig 🤨 i just think they'll hv a kind of bond and comfort in one another ngl 😔

[narwhalandchill]

how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

[kyoxaa]

Mandatory intro post :3

I have more interests and stuff I swear I just couldn't think of them 💀🙏

adding a small disclaimer or smth because I'm like a little bit goofy 💀

1. main thing I js wanna make aware is I'm very easily jealous over my pookie Luci (yea ik from obey me IM SORRY..) so if I accidentally sound rude or smth pls don't mind it 😭 I genuinely feel bad I'm just really attached to him it's a little goofy💀

2. I don't mind anyone venting and stuff to me just PLEASE know I'm really bad at properly comforting people so if I randomly go "heh... that's not so alpha sigma..." OR SMTH IDK know I'm not being mean I'm just very silly and of my close friends can tell you that 😭 I can't take anything srs for too long but I'll try my best 💔

anyway that's it LMAO also before anyone asks no I don't play Roblox I couldn't get interested JSJZJS 💔

also here's my server link too if.toj don't wanna add me first :3 !!

https://discord.com/invite/rHt8SFa4wf

[ace-was-already-taken]

INTRO POST!!

ABOUT ME!!! (strawpage for more info(?))

Names: Ace, Obsequious, Oliver/Oli (Oli being a nickname that I like for that name :3) + any nicknames idrc (as long as they're not weird)

Pronouns: he/they/it

Art blog: @ace-draws-stuff

Matching icons/pfps with @/projectcolorcast right now!!!! :D

interests:

.> Vocaloid

.> GHOST And Pals

.> Project Sekai

.> COMMUNICATIONS (GHOST And Pals)

.> The Post Traumatic Manifesto (WeevilDoing)

.> Slime Rancher

blue = current main hyperfixation

red = current hyperfixation that will NOT leave my brain and I will reblog lots of probably XD

Project Sekai Player ID (feel free to friend req lol): 443164046783647750

I have a youtube channel btw :3

and a soundcloud acct :3

Art Requests: OPEN!!!! X3

Just put a request into my ask box and I'll get to it eventually. But rn I'm only accepting requests from mutuals/followers (sorry other ppl) and it has to be a character from a fandom I know OR an OC (bcuz yeah I don't trust myself to draw characters I don't know 99% of the time- sorry :/)

FEEL FREE TO DRAW MY OCS AND SONAS!!!!! ^^ Just credit/tag me in the art pls!!!! :]

Tags (or whatever they're called idfk): #COOL ART ALERT‼️‼️ <- Art reblogs, #my art <- self-explanatory but it's my art :3

I RLLY RLLY LIKE MOTHS BTW PLS TAG ME IN ANY MOTH CONTENT I AND WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!! /platonic /nf

If I go offline for more than, like, three days or smthng, just assume that I'm either hella busy, or my mom took away all my technology because she found out I'm on this site lol

DNI (do not interact) if ur any of the following:

• Nsfw/kink blogs

Anti-LGBTQ+

• TERF/RadFem/Gender Critical

• Pedo/Map (SUPPORTERS INCLUDED)

• Racist

• Proship/Anti-Anti

• Any Exclusionist

• Ableist

• Anti-Neopronouns / Xenogenders

• Anti-Kin

• BASIC DNI

Other stuff:

This blog is MAINLY Ghost and Pals and vocaloid stuff (maybe occasional pjsk stuff idk)! :)

My ask box IS open... Pls ask me stuff I'm lonely /hj--

I POST RANDOM SHIT IDFK (Also I talk in all caps 85% of the time >:3)

IF U SEND IN AN ASK OR SMTHNG AND I DONT RESPOND FOR A WHILE ITS BCUZ IM OVERTHINKING HOW TO RESPOND IM SORRY ;-;

IM HORRIBLE AT REMEMBERING THINGS 😭

Oh yea I swear/cuss (idk which one is the right word) sometimes btw

If I start typing/talking differently (ex: more/less emoticons, more/less all caps, ect.) it either means I'm just feeling REALLY SILLY (probably a kinshift)!!!!!! or I'm just really eepy/just woke up lmao

I tend to make humor out of my own problems- sooo when I make the occasional vent post (I usually don't tho) and I put 'lmao' and stuff in there, I'm NOT making fun of anything, I'm just brushing off my own problems :3

I apologize. A lot. If I THINK I did something wrong I WILL apologize profusely-

If I say something like "Sorry I'm so stupid XD" or smthng like that, it's not in a pick-me way- Idk how else to explain it?? Idk I make fun of myself all the time tho lol

ANYWAY fun fact: My birthday is May 14th :3

yea I think that's all you need to know! :]

Side note: If we're mutuals, expect a LOT of interaction from me :3 /silly

[vvitchering]

I said I wasn’t going to be publicly salty again but I need a min

What the fuck even was that episode

Did we really get 40 mins of pointlessly detailed development for for “”former”” imperialists while our main characters got sidelined AGAIN? I was almost to the end of the episode frantically checking the time because I forgot I was watching The Mandalorian.

Pacing is still abysmal like what the hell happened??? The first two seasons of the show had zero flops, every single ep was amazing and well crafted, and now we get the third absolute stinker in a season with only three episodes so far. That’s hilariously bad. I’d laugh if I wasn’t so upset. I miss The Mandalorian, I was excited to get to see it again, and this is what they’re serving up??????

I’ve been feeling this way since the first episode of this season and I’ve tried to keep telling myself “okay, I guess not every episode can be good, let’s wait til next week and maybe they’ll figure it out”. I hate that I’m saying that every single week. It’s almost half over and it’s done Nothing to further Din or Grogu’s development. They feel like afterthoughts in their own show.

I’ve seen people comparing this to the early tbobf episodes and I have to agree. But I’d even go as far as to say tbobf was better than this, at least Boba was on screen for most of it… But the feeling that these aren’t true The Mandalorian episodes, that they’ve pushed our main characters and their development aside in favor of something else, that feels familiar. And it sucks. And I’m sad.

Am I going to keep watching and hoping it gets better, yeah. Am I scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of actually believing it’s going to get better, also yeah. I’m just. I really hate to see something I love get treated like this. I cannot describe my disappointment when I realized the first longer episode was completely wasted on the fucking space fascists.

I miss when this was a quest of the week show that also focused on Din as a person. Now it feels like they’re rushing past him to set something else up in the grander scheme and I just don’t want to watch that. I didn’t sign up for that. I didn’t watch Andor because I don’t fucking CARE about that stuff.

I’m sorry I had to make another cry baby rant post about yet another episode. I’m so disheartened. My friends haven’t watched the episode yet so I don’t have another outlet to vent about this right now and I really needed it out of my head. I kinda got told I was overreacting with my negative opinion of the first two episodes but I feel vindicated af now lmao

Anyway Mando s3 support group when? 😭

[superchat]

wuh bluhg tw vent lmao

sorry for whining more on main (ive been pretty quiet the past few days i think 👍) but i think i just kinda always been like this lol. i always looked at it is "high school it was bad" and the a clean streak, and then picking it up again two years ago but, the more i think abt it i nevr truly stopped lol. i dont remember too much of what i wae like as a kid but it def was not spend building healthy coping mechanisms or thought patterns,

in middle school i was scratching and when my parents saw the scars months later they thought i was doing drugs lol (i almost forgot i did that in middde school)

in highschool i tried cutting and it was a bad habit, esp cuz s.o. struggled with it too, lots of quitting and relapsing lol but teenage years are supposed to be emotional and messy imo

thopght it was doing good for a bit but around 20 i picked up scratching AND cutting cuz identity crisis lmao

thought i stopped after 21? 22? but throughout college i did hit my head a lot cuz school stressed me out a lot and low selfesteem+not understanding hw frustrated me @ myself rlly badly

26 graduate college but also some life events happened too much at once and i picked it all up again, scratching, cutting, along with a bigger emphasis on hitting, just not on my head but arms aod legs,

sometrme last year i picked up burning with a hot butterknife, its a new kind of injury but i think bruising and scratching are the ones i like the most but i cant bruise anymore, cuz my muscles dont bruise easily anymore and also i think theres perma damage to them at this point

in the timeline of my life, theres never rlly been a "good" moment for me,2-3 years no Literal cutting but still hitting and hurting but just not with anythinh that leaves scars? lmao why is that any different. at this point its the best i feel abt myself anyways, it used to feel like a black and yellow venom back in hs but now its like, well this is when i look most attractive, and feel the most interesting, and feel the most tolerable and numb,