#apologies if i had done this incorrect quote before

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

Sonadow Incorrect Quotes 🖤💙

Sonic: I like your new pants!  Shadow: Thanks, they were 50% off!  Sonic: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*  Shadow: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.  Sonic: Thats’s… not what I meant.  Shadow: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Sonic.

Sonic: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?  Shadow: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Shadow: What do you want to be for Halloween?  Sonic: Yours.  Shadow: Shadow: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.

Sonic: Listen, we’re done, we’re over! Okay?  Shadow: Whatever bitch, you ain’t never gonna find no one like me.  Sonic: Yeah, that's the point shithead!

Shadow: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...  Sonic: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?  Shadow: Holy moly-

Sonic: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Shadow!  Shadow: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Shadow: Look, last night was a mistake.  Sonic: A sexy mistake.  Shadow: No, just a regular mistake.

Sonic: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?  Shadow: Nope, there's 26.  Sonic: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.  Shadow: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.  Sonic: You'll get the D later ;). Shadow: …

Shadow: Well, it finally happened. Rouge and Omega: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*  Shadow: That's right... We kissed.

meanwhile with sonic:

Sonic: Well, Shadow and I finally did it!  Tails, Amy and Knuckles: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*  Sonic: That's right... We fu-!

Shadow: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.  Sonic: That's great, Shadow. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Sonic: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?  Shadow: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Sonic: How do I tell Shadow that I want him to yell at me like he’s Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

Shadow: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.  Sonic: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Sonic: Are you trying to seduce me?  Shadow: Why, are you seducible?

Sonic: Are you sure Shadow's even gay? He’s only looked at me for 5 hours.

Sonic: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!  Shadow: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.  Sonic: Stop.

Sonic: Shadow is playing hard to get.  Sonic: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Shadow: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.  Sonic: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*  Shadow: That one. I want that one.

Shadow: We both look very handsome tonight.  Sonic: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."  Shadow: I couldn't take that chance.

Sonic: Shadow and I are no longer friends.  Shadow: SONIC THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Waiter: What would you like?  Sonic: Bring a milkshake with two straws.  Shadow: ??? Sonic: *puts both straws in his mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!! Shadow: I am married to a man, with the brain of a 5 year old child.

Shadow: Wow, they really hate us.  Sonic: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.  Shadow: But we’re not gay, Sonic.  Sonic: Shadow: Sonic: We’re not?

Shadow: Wow, Sonic, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.  Sonic: We literally slept together yesterday.  Shadow: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sonic: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing—  Shadow: We’re married.

Shadow: How much did you spend on this date?  Sonic: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

(thank god shadows immortal then 💀🙌)

Shadow: *angrily presses Sonic against a wall* WHERE'S THE CHAOS EMERALD?!  Sonic: ...  Sonic: Are we about to kiss-

Shadow: Go fuck yourself.  Sonic, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

Sonic: My hands are cold.  Shadow: Here, let me hold them.  Sonic: My lips are cold too.  Shadow: *covers Sonic's mouth with their hand*

Sonic, throwing his head into Shadow's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!  Shadow, lovingly stroking Sonic’s quills with a demonic smile: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Shadow: I feel like doing something stupid.  Sonic: I’m stupid, do me.

Sonic: This date is boring!  Shadow: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.  Sonic: Then why did you invite me?  Shadow: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Shadow I'll do whatever I want!

Sonic: You look good in that hoodie.  Shadow: You know where else I'd look good?  Sonic, zero hesitation: My bed.  Shadow, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

*Sonic comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Shadow’s bedroom.*  Shadow: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?  Sonic: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a boyfriend called Shadow.  Sonic: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*  Shadow: ... Why do I do this to myself.

Sonic: Shadow and I are no longer dating.  Shadow: Sonic, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Sonic: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.  Shadow: Aren't you forgetting something?  Sonic: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Shadow's forehead before running out.*  Shadow: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Shadow: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?  Sonic: It was autocorrect.  Shadow: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?  Sonic: Yes.

[timkonshipper]

young justice w/ tim, bart and kon be like

the incorrect quotes are not mine, they're from a generator so full credit to that. apologies if they're similar to something someone else has done before.

tim: name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait

bart: you and me :)

tim, tearing up: okay

__

*on an undercover mission where they lost all their supplies*

Tim: Um, Bart, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family? Bart: We need money! Tim: You're scamming him? Bart: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him? Tim: What?! No way! Bart: Why not? We already stole Kon! Kon: Hey guys Tim: No, we didn't. Kon can think and talk for himself, he can do whatever they want! Kon: I wanna steal

__

*The group is getting into the car* Tim: I’m driving. Kon, out of view: Shotgun! Bart, turning to face Kon: Aww! But you had it on the way here- Kon, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

__

Tim, to Bart: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Bart, motioning to him and Kon: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

__

Bart: Hey Tim, Tim: Yes? Bart: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Tim: Tim: Where’s Kon?

__

Tim: While I’m gone, Bart, you’re in charge. Bart: Yes!!! Tim, whispering: Kon, you’re secretly in charge. Kon: Obviously.

__

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Tim please come to the front desk? Tim, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Bart and Kon Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Bart and Kon, simultaneously: We got lost :( Tim: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

__

Bart, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Kon: You did WHAT– Tim: William Snakepeare

__

Tim: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Bart: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Tim: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Kon: edible

__

Tim: What time is it? Bart: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Bart: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Kon: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Bart: It’s 2 am

__

[itsmoonpeaches]

This isn’t to dunk on you - I just think the way you handled the whole Kataang Week drama could’ve been a lot better and more mature.

1. You should’ve discussed this with dailykataang privately in dms instead of immediately assuming they were trying to steal your work.

2. “They shouldn’t have assumed yes to hosting it,” true, but that’s typically how ship weeks are. You don’t require permission to host on several apps. And nowhere on your blog do you ever state that people must ask permission to host the week on another app.

3. I think you should’ve been more open to new Kataang fans who want to participate on twitter since the community is expanding there. That doesn’t mean creating a separate twitter account for Kataang Week, but maybe giving people permission to host a separate account on twitter?

4. I know you said hosting and participating are two separate things, but the way you worded your sentence and what you said to accounts on there made it seem like they were ok to host it. If you weren’t going to host it on there, how will twitter Kataangers even join in? That only leaves DailyKataang, the main Kataang account, to retweet the content.

Hello, thanks for the ask, anon.

Please refer to my original thread on twitter where I try to explain everything as clearly as possible. Otherwise, here it is copy and pasted:

Anyway, thank you all for reading the posts relating to kataang week on here. Sorry for the confusion. The other kataang week mods and I did not mean to cause a disturbance. To clarify:

1) Kataang Week is normally hosted on Tumblr

2) We encourage submissions on other platforms as we always have

3) We will not be able to share those submissions on our blog if we are not made aware of them. We don't track other platforms

4) In the past our workaround was a link to those submissions can be sent to us so we can post on our blog. This is still the case

5) We encourage cross-posting fanworks

6) We are not against kw on Twitter.

7) We never said anything in our rules about being allowed to host the same event on another platform without permission just that posting your kw fanworks outside Tumblr is encouraged

8) We'd like to be asked before hosting the same event on another platform outside Tumblr

9) Hosting without permission is like reposting without permission even if there is credit

10) We appreciate credit however

11) We are open to working with other kataang users outside Tumblr to further expand kw's reach. However, we were never asked outright

12) We are not trying to start a rift within the kataang community, only that we'd like to be worked with not assumed for

13) This one is just for me personally and not the other mods: I apologize if my replying publicly was incorrect. Yes it should've been a DM, however, since it had been 5 days and no one was notified the fastest option ended up being a comment

TLDR: We aren't and have not been trying to gatekeep to Tumblr. We never have been. We've always encouraged posting elsewhere, but we never discussed anywhere in the rules about hosting it elsewhere without permission. We were never asked for permission to answer your question, and that's the main issue. The problem was not that kw is being promoted outside Tumblr, but that it is being hosted and the wording in the original post by dailykataang on Twitter said and I quote, "kataang week takes place annually on tumblr, hosted by kataang-week since 2013 (not affiliated with dailykataang). this year our account will host & oversee kataang week on twitter. feel free to tag us in your works! 💗"

We appreciate the credit and the link back, as well as the good faith. We realize that this was not done maliciously. However, to us, this is the same as reposting without permission, and it was worded in a way that sounded like we did give permission when this is not the case. For example, if you see an artwork here on Tumblr, it may say something like "reposted with permission from the artist". All we ask is that we are asked or told instead of finding out through other means, especially since kw here does not track kataang tags on Twitter.

I apologize personally if this got out of hand as I said above. Yes, it should have been a DM. And to further answer your comment, we would have said yes to hosting outside of Tumblr.

[ll-but-its-random]

Incorrect Quotes:

Nine, in FOF: I don't need my legs to kick you fat a**. Five, in the NY brawl: That is because you can't anyway. --- Marina: I can trust you, right? Six, expert in blades but never cut her own hair, with a scissor: Sure. --- Sarah: Hey, John! What's your favorite cake? On three, two, one- John and Sarah, in unison: Chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and chocolate chunks! Sam: Our turn. One, two, three- vanilla! Six, deadpan: I've never had cake in my life. --- Marina: Why is Adam covering his ears? Six: I told him they turn red whenever he lies. Marina: Why? Six: Look. *Turns to Adam*. HEY ADAM, DO YOU LIKE US? Adam, with hands on his ears: NO! --- John to Lawson: With all due respect, which is none- --- Nigel: You can never lose an argument if you say 'shut up, nerd' at the end. Kopano: Yes, you can. Nigel: Shut up, nerd. --- Adam: Fuck. John: Language. Marina: Shit! John: Language. Six: That's one crazy motherfucker. John: Language. Nine: Who the fuck are you calling an asshole, bitch? John: Language. Ella: What the frick frack tickity tic tac snik snak, bro? John: ... John: What the fuck? --- Nine: look, dude, I want to apologize for everything I've said and done before. For what it's worth, I really like having you around. Five: ... Five: No you don't. Nine: I know, I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.

[bitchystxrk3000]

Sweet Caroline

A/N- This is my first imagine so please be patient, I am trying my best but I've only ever written full stories or Incorrect Quotes. But there is a first for everything, right?

Fem!OC x Avengers(Platonic)

Fem!OC x TwinBrother!PeterParker

All the Avengers excluding Celia and Peter Parker were in the lounge area, talking when suddenly music started blaring from the floor above them. Tony knew what was going on and leaned back in his chair with a hand over his face and a roll of his eyes. Noticing this, Stephen Strange, cocked an eyebrow curiously over at the Genuis, Billionaire, Playboy, who simply huffed before answering. "I tried sending Celia and Peter to bed." He spoke, answering vaguely much to the Teams annoyance. As the music continued to blare, muffled voices can be heard in the room directly above them, which happened to be the Twins room. Tony tried giving them separate rooms but the twins always ended up in the same room. After interrogating them, Tony came upon the answer of which they've shared a room since they moved in with their Aunt and Uncle, and of which after having their Uncle shot right in front of their faces, they find comfort in each other to make the nightmares go away. Tony understood completely where they were coming from and ended up combining two of the rooms to make one big one by knocking down the wall in between the once separate rooms.

Upon further listening, the team realized that the song playing was Sweet Caroline from Neil Diamond and of course, their curiosity gets the best of them. One by one, the team went to the floor above them to listen better. Once everyone, including Tony, was upstairs, listening at the end of the hallway, by the elevator, they do admit, that it was worth coming upstairs. As soon as Tony, the last person to come upstairs, set foot on the floor, all they heard was Celia and Peter singing, "Sweet Caroline! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Steve was absolutely and utterly horrified at the young kids language, while Nat, Loki, and Bucky were smirking. Tony just huffed in annoyance, mouthing "Every. Night." Sam and Wanda were smiling trying to bite back their laughter. Stephen Strange and Thor's eyes were sparkling in amusement, with a slight lift of the corners of their mouths. Bruce and Clint were gaping in pure shock at never hearing such foul language from the two babies of the team, Pietro was silently howling in laughter and Vision was off to the side wondering what the hell was going on.

Upon coming back to the lounge, all they heard was a sound of glass shattering. Suddenly, FRIDAY spoke up. "Miss and Mr. Parker wish to apologize for breaking a lamp in their room. They promise to at least try and be careful next time." FRIDAY had said. "But they can't promise it won't happen again." FRIDAY had quickly added. The Avengers apart from Tony laughed at Tony's disgruntled expression. "Their lucky I love them." Tony muttered with a sigh before plopping back down on his armchair. The rest of the team shared a laugh before going back to their original seats just like Tony had done, while upstairs, Peter and Celia were in their assigned beds, letting each others sound of breathing and heart thumping inside the others chest, lull them to sleep, knowing that their other half and best friend were safe.

[tomboyjessie13-artblog]

Sorry for the lack of drawings, this was supposed to be done a few weeks ago, but as usually I got distracted by the internet and personal drama, as well as writing a long post about the characters.

That being said, I made a series of drawings of my Jojo OC Medea interacting with the Crusaders since there isn’t a lot of them(except as Incorrect Quotes), and as some of you can guess, this takes place during the “Battle of Egypt” arc since she wasn't their ally until then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jean Pierre Polanreff

- Relationship: Sibling bond - She nicknames him "Frenchie" - Shares a single brain cell with him

- He and Medea actually do get along well as he used to serve(brainwashed) DIO and was dismayed over him "betraying" their Lord, he's a bit more forgiving and patient with her since he knows that DIO's just using her, he does have his breaking points though.

Despite being enemies, she has no problem bonding with him over their enjoyment of Western cartoons such as "Tom and Jerry" and "Looney Toons" during their stay at a Luxor hotel.

Even though he got his revenge, he's still haunted by his late-sister losing her purity and life, and was horrified when he found out that DIO is doing the same to Medea, thus starts fighting tooth and nail to make sure she lives.

She later apologized to Polnareff for treating him like crap when she returns to Cairo with Kakyoin, and thanked him for killing J. Geil as he was horrible towards women, she fights alongside Polnareff and Iggy against Vanilla Ice.

Polanreff became her best man at her's and Keiji's wedding in 1994 and was ecstatic to see her baby girl Noriko, it was the last time she saw him alive. Medea asked Jotaro where he had gone during their drive to S-City, but even he doesn't know where Polnareff is either.

Medea later grieved for him when she found out what became of him during his pursuit for Diavolo and the stand arrows in "Golden Wind".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jotaro Kujo

- Relationship: Enemies to friends - Calls him "Jojo" just to make fun of him as she thought it was a dumb nickname - Battle of the sexist jerks; broken hearted Misandrist vs punk ass Misogynist

- She first assumed that Jotaro was an adult due to his large stature and mature features, only to get caught completely off guard when she realizes that he's actually a 17-year-old highschooler.

Jotaro does the "YAKAMASHI!" and "annoying bitch" schtick when she started doing her villainous monologuing, she asked if he kissed his mother with that mouth, that comment resulted in her ass getting kicked and losing two left molars.

Jotaro was the one who turned her into their mole when they came to Egypt, he kept foiling her murder attempts during the whole true trip. Despite all that, he was furious when he found out that DIO tried to kill her in a similar fashion to Enyaba, wanting to beat the shit of of him right now for it.

After returning to Cairo with Kakyoin, their relationship improved for the better as they no longer fought with each other. Before "DIO's World", Jotaro thanked her for being one of the few women in his life to not squeal at him for being "handsome".

After DIO's defeat, she goes with him and Joseph to Japan and hasn't left since. The two became parent figures to the kids of Morioh during "Diamond is Unbreakable", despite being on good terms now, she can't help but ruffle Jotaro's feathers just for the fun of it.

At some point, he reprimand her for being too distant from her daughter, only to get called out on it as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joseph Joestar

- Relationship: Complicated - Medea slut shames him to high heaven - Joseph had a BSoD moment when he heard Medea gush about the Pillar Men

- She chases him all across Asia for weeks just to get her revenge for "driving away Jason" from her and offer his blood to DIO, fails each time. At some point Joseph told her the reason why they're going after DIO, which throws her off completely as DIO never told her about Holy Kujo.

Despite that, she still chases the Crusaders after DIO gave her one last chance to redeem herself, which pisses off Joseph even more.

After she became their mole in Egypt, he forces her to wear his old breathing mask as a trust bargain as well as keep her under tight ropes, he even rigged it with Hamon so that whenever she removes it, she'll get electrocuted by overdrive(same rules apply to her Stand to).

When she bribed Alessi to age down Joseph, she wasn't expecting him to turn into his younger and sexier self(circa Part 2) and became smitten. Joseph has NEVER let her live it down since then.

It took him an hour to save Medea's life from DIO's blood poisoning thanks to his Hamon. This selfless act made her realize that Joseph, despite his flaws, is willing to help others good and bad, no longer wanting revenge against him. 

She would however eventually have the last laugh when she found out that he was sent to the dog house after his affair got exposed in 1999, she also believed that he's faking his senility just to get his "get out of jail free" card.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Muhammad Avdol

- Relationship: Enemies to friends - She was the reason why DIO found him at the Khan el Khalili - He was shocked when he realized that Medea isn't a Tarot Stand user

- After Cameo was defeated, she was shocked to learn that Avdol is alive and well, with him scolding her for harassing the Crusaders despite getting her revenge against Jason, she fled back to Egypt afterwards, having his arrival killing her mood and not wishing to get BBQ'​​​​​​​d by [Magician's Red].

At Aswan, when she tries to kill him at the Hospital, Avdol sought out her weakness and told Jotaro to exploit it. While not happy with her murderous plans, he's a lot more patient with her than Polnareff is due to knowing that DIO brainwashed her. 

During their trip to Cairo, he was actually pleased when he saw that Medea took an interest in his culture's myths and legends and they ended up talking more over it, even letting slip about the Glory God's Stands and which god they represent.

When she realized what happened, she blamed him for tricking her, which isn't true but he joked about it anyways.

He was the first one to discover that Medea's welts were Vampire bites thanks to Joseph's warning about Vampires and drove her to the hospital. Despite losing their mole, Avdol believed that her health is one of their highest priorities.

When she came back to Cairo, he was happy to know that she's all better. During "DIO's World", she called him crazy when he wanted to burn down the manor due to their friends being inside, she witnessed Vanilla Ice killing him afterwards, traumatizing her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iggy

- Relationship: Enemies to friends - She compares him to her late pet Boston Terrier "Ozzy" - Iggy enjoys messing with her just as how he messes with Polnareff

- She thought that he was a normal dog at first before discovering that he's a Tarot Stand user represented by "The Fool" and instantly regrets it.

She got farted on when he smelled her body oder and called him a "jerk mutt" for that, he also raided her backpack and stole her clothes and sandwiches that she packed for herself, and he kicked her into the Nile river when she tried to attack him.

When Medea got hospitalized for Blood poisoning, Iggy smelled DIO's odor coming off of her welts which scared him into defending himself as he can naturally smell evil like most dogs do, he used [The Fool] to recreate DIO's likeness from that scent alone to show the Crusaders what he smelled, which is how Joseph was able to save her and how Iggy was able to recreate DIO during the Vanilla Ice fight.

Iggy started warming up to Medea after she returned to Cairo as he finally understood the pain she gained from DIO after his encounter with Pet Shop, but he wouldn't admit it, she and Iggy chilled out while everyone was having their last supper together. 

She mourned his death and petted his corpse, and calling him a "good boy" for saving her's and Polnareff's lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Noriaki Kakyoin

- Relationship: Reconciled friendship - She nicknames him "Cherry boy" - She learned about Morioh because of him

- He was one of the few Agents that she actually became close friends with without hang ups, so Medea was very hurt when he "betrayed" DIO because of the Crusaders.

She tried convincing him to leave them and return to Egypt with her, when he refused, she just went: "...Fine! Die with those bastards then!" in grief induced anger. Kakyoin tried reasoning with her before she began harassing them throughout the journey.

They reconciled when she was hospitalized and they started bonding over their first encounters with DIO, as well as having no real friends until they met the Crusaders.

She kept Kakyoin's Walkman that he left behind at the mansion and used it to listen to his music and learned some Japanese, at some point she bought herself a "Pat Metheny Group" album for it and became attached to "Last Train Home", Medea eventually gave it back to him during their train ride to Cairo.

She cradled his body and grieved for him when DIO murdered him in cold blood. After DIO's defeat, she cried over his retrieved corpse and thanked him for everything he's done for her and the Crusaders.

She kept his cherry earrings as a memento to remember him by. In 1993, she originally planned on naming her future son "Noriaki" when she was pregnant, but ended up getting a daughter instead, whom she names "Noriko".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Medea King belongs to me *And yes, I threw in a Family Guy death pose

[sadsimp]

Incorrect Quotes I think fit (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

Creepypasta Ocs as incorrect quotes

Oc is shipped with Brian/Hoodie :). I mashed Marble Hornets and Creepypasta

Fall: “They’re not my kid. I don’t have any kids.”

Annalise: “Uh, they’re running off.”

Fall scrambling: “FUCKING GOD DAMNIT!”

Miracle: “Hey Fall, can we have ice cream?”

Fall: “Not before dinner.”

Both: “...”

Fall: “Ah I’m just kidding go crazy kid.”

Miracle, half asleep: “Hey Mapa?”

Fall also half asleep: “...”

Miracle: “...”

Fall: “Did you.. just call me.. Mapa?” 

Miracle: “You know, if I just chewed tomatoes and spit it out on my fries, would it still be ketchup?”

Fall: “I worry about you sometimes kid.”

Helen when first meeting Misery: “Aww, your baby is so cute."

Fall: "Yeah, you say that because you haven't really met them yet.”

Misery who opens their mouth to reveal rows of sharp teeth and tongues: (´∀｀)

Miracle who’s jaw unhinged just to scare her off: ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

Helen: “It must be incredible being a parent."

Fall: "... at times. Would I change it for the world? No, absolutely not. Does it sometimes make me want to throw myself off a bridge?... Yes. It absolutely does.” 

Brian: "Is everything okay? I was really worried when you didn't come on time. You're always so punctual."

Fall: "Yeah, I'm sorry. I dropped my kid off at school only to find they forgot their homework at home, I'm sorry, you don't care."

Brian: "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care."

Annalise: “What are you making?”

Fall: “Stew.”

Annalise: “Ooo! What kind?”

Fall: “The everything kind.” 

Annalise: “…What’s in it?”

Fall: “Everything.” 

Miracle: I need life advice. 

Fall, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person

Miracle, struggling to push Fall: Can't you go any faster?

Fall, leaning back over Miracle: Oh no, gravity is increasing on me!

Miracle/Garlic: No it's not!

Fall: It really is, Mi! 

Garlic as FalI falls on top of them: Gah! You bitch! You're crushing me!

Fall knocks on Miracle’s door after he had a meltdown]

Fall: You ok in there?

Miracle/Garlic: *incoherent demonic screeching*

Fall: OK I'll bring you back some fries.

Charlotte: "I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff."

Helen: "I witnessed the dumb stuff."

Posy : "I recorded the dumb stuff."

Fall: "I joined you in the dumb stuff."

Annalise: "I tried to stop you from doing the dumb stuff!"

Fall: The path to inner peace begins with four words.

Fall, trying to avoid looking at Charlotte getting into trouble again: Not my fucking problem.

Posy: Come at me with an attack and I’ll defend myself against it.

Fall: You can rent out parking spots on your forehead.

Posy: I MEANT PHYSICALLY!

Annalise: So you called Fall for help instead of me??

Charlotte: Well, I mean, if you’re wanting to do something stupid you wouldn’t exactly call the voice of reason, now would you? 

Charlotte loses a fight- 

Fall sarcastically: This is… tragic. 

Posy : Not as tragic as your face.

Fall: That’s was uncalled for.

Posy: Your face is uncalled for. 

Miracle: Words that end in "ie" are cute! Like cutie, cookie, sweetie-

Fall: Die

Annalise: Fall, where's my slice of pie?

 Fall: My stomach

Annalise: Why?!

Fall: Because you drank the last of the milk, you fuCKING BITCH

Fall: You make me so pissed off so quickly. It's almost funny

Posy: I literally only said 6 words.

Fall: Yet here I am, boiling with hate.

Fall: Well, atoms never touch each other. Since we are made of atoms, we have never touched anything our whole lives.

Annalise: .....

Fall: So to answer your question, no, I didn't punch Posy in the face.

Annalise: What’s your type?

Hoodie: I have extremely high standards so far no one has been able to-

Fall: *Asleep snoring on the couch in tattered pjs and drooling*

Hoodie: Shit I can't believe they’re meeting all of my standards.

Annalise: While I'm gone, Helen you're in charge.

Helen: yes!

Annalise, whispering: Fall, you're secretly in charge.

Fall: I knew

Annalise: You have to apologize to Charlotte 

Fall: Fine. 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Helen: I only got 4 hours of sleep yesterday

Fall: Pathetic. I got fucking 0

Charlotte: Look guys, I need help.

Posy: Love help?

Annalise: Financial help?

Helen: Emotional help?

Fall: Help moving a body?

Charlotte:

Fall: You… have a face.

Hoodie/Brian: Yes. 

Fall: I mean, a pretty face. You have a pretty face. You’re pretty 

Hoodie/Brian: Thanks 

Fall: Please accept my attempts at flirting, I don’t know what I’m fucking doing

Charlotte: I have an idea

Fall: A good idea?

Charlotte: Let's not get ahead of ourselves

Fall: Wait you like me? For my personality?

Hoodie: I know, I was surprised too

Hoodie: Are we fighting or flirting?

Fall: I'm gonna sink my teeth into your fucking throat! 

Hoodie: Still proving my point, mixed messages 

Hoodie: I have feelings for you.

Fall: Why? What the fuck is wrong with you? 

Fall: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Brian: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Fall: Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Hoodie: It’s working isn’t it?

Fall: …. Son of a bitch

Posy: My god, do you ever stop with the “I wanna die” shit?

Fall: I’ll stop when I’m dead that’s for sure

Helen: Okay let’s play “Would You Rather”!

Helen: Would you rather die or-

Fall: Die

Helen: I haven’t even-

Fall: Die

Charlotte: What do you think Fall’s gonna do for a distraction?

Annalise: They’ll probably throw a rock or something. That’s what I would do

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Charlotte:

Annalise: … or he could do that

Posy: I like to think things through 

Fall: I once saw you eat a goddamn marshmallow that was still on fucking fire

Charlotte: Have you ever been yelled at by Fall?

Jackass Man: I’m not scared of her

Charlotte: 

Charlotte: Guess that’s a no

Fall: I spy with my eye someone who needs to shut the fuck up

Charlotte: …is it me?

Fall: It’s always you

“I’d throw you threw a window if I could.”

— Fall, to Charlotte at least 5 times a day 

Hoodie: It's not my fault, Fall, you were distracting me.

Fall: What did I do?

Hoodie: You existed.

[ breaking and entering]

Annalise: Could you do that a bit more quietly?

Fall: Aye, I'll put the crowbar on whisper mode

(After getting the Hell Traps off)

Fall, high on pain medication, tired, hungry and zoning in and out: I've connected the two dots.

Annalise, tired of their shit: You didn't connect shit.

Fall:  I've connected them.

Posy: Guess what I'm about to get!

Fall: On my last fucking nerves.

Fall: You’re alive.

Posy: No need to sound so disappointed.

Charlotte: When I become a serial killer I’ll put tapes that have “Mmm Watcha Say” in the mouths of my victims 

Annalise: When

Brian/Hoodie: Truth or Dare?

Fall: Truth

Brian/Hoodie: Do you want to kiss me?

Fall: Dare

Brian/Hoodie: I dare you to kiss me

Fall: Never have I ever-

Brian/Hoodie: That’s noT THE GAME

Annalise: Anyone d-

Helen: Depressed?

Charlotte: Disliked?

Fall: Drained?

Posy: Dumb?

Annalise: -done with their work…

Fall to Charlotte: I can’t believe you’d do something like that. At least let me record it next time

Hoodie/Brian: Whenever Fall gets mad at me, I tighten all the lids on our jars so they have to ask me for help.

[sounds of glass shattering in the background]

Hoodie/Brian: It hasn't worked yet, but it will.

Fall: It's a dangerous mission, you're not going. End of discussion.

Charlotte: Or what. 

Fall: 

Fall: … Excuse me?

Charlotte: ...Um. 

Brian, stroking Fall’s hair: You're so cute and pretty.

Fall, sleepily: I could beat the shit out of you.

Brian, lovingly: I know.

Helen: truth or dare?

Fall: truth 

Helen: how many hours of sleep have you got?

Fall: dare

Helen: go to bed

Fall: I don’t like this game 

Charlotte: What time is it? 

Fall: I don’t know, pass me my cello and we’ll find out. 

Fall: *Plays the cello loudly and extremely out of tune* 

Annalise: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE CELLO AT TWO IN THE MORNING?!

Fall: It’s 2 am

Fall: Die

Posy: Come kill me yourself

*20 minutes later*

Posy: I WAS JOKING

Charlotte: I don't think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way outta this one Fall

Fall: *reloads weapon*

Fall: Manslaughter it is

Brian: Are you a cuddler?

Fall: I'm a machine of pain and death.

Brian: ...

Fall: .. yeah I'm a cuddler

Fall: from here we are silent. not quiet, but silent.

the rest of the group nods

*Charlotte fighting for her life to not let the hiccup out

Charlotte: *hiccup*

*The group looks behind them, all eyes on Charlotte*

Annalise: *whispers* really Charlotte? right now?

Charlotte : *whispers* i’m sorry i cant *hiccups* help it!!

Fall: *whisper scream* quiet.

Charlotte: *hiccups* 

*What the cp oc group would say if you text them at 2am saying you want to shave off your eyebrows*

Fall: do it pussy

Annalise: it’s 2am piss off

Charlotte: Can I help? Can we put a slit in my eyebrow???

Helen: Do I need to schedule a therapy appointment for you?

Helen would later send: There is an opening at 3:00 pm this Thursday. I am clearing your schedule for then. 

Miracle: what’s a thot?

Charlotte: uh..a very thoughtful person.

*later at dinner*

Miracle: Auntie can you pass the salt?

Annalise: sure 

Miracle: thanks Auntie! you’re such a thot!

Annalise: *spits out drink*

Fall: *laughs*

Posy: Fall, can you pass the salt?

Fall: Posy, can you pass away?

Brian: oh look, we’re under a mistletoe

Fall: *looks up* no we aren’t

*later that night*

Fall: *wakes up at 4am* oh my god! He was flirting with me!

Archie: oh my god, the stove is on fire! what do we do?!

Charlotte: okay, no worries, we just need an adult.

Archie: but WE ARE adults.

Charlotte: WE NEED AN ADULTER ADULT!! WHERES ANNALISE?!

Archie: I heard Charlotte was in jail, what happened? 

Billy: Yeah, she got arrested for something she didn’t do. 

Helen: What?

Fall: What didn’t she do? 

Billy: Run fast enough. 

Annalise: 🤨

Fall: Wasn’t she with you...? 

Fall: ... 

Fall: You left her behind didn’t you? 

Billy: It was either her or me. 

Helen: So we have good news and bad news.

Annalise: Bad news first then.

Helen: The fire that has started in the kitchen is now out of control.

Annalise: The- THE WHAT STARTED??!!

Charlotte, holding a perfectly toasted marshmallow: See, I nailed it though! That’s the good news!

Posy: I just don't understand why people hate me so much...

Fall: You're snobby, you stink, you're overly violent, not to mention you're also-

Posy: I GET IT!

Charlotte: guess what

Fall: bitch with the way you live I have no fucking idea

Fall: what else are you good at? Besides making my life fucking miserable

Charlotte: I can color

Bonnie: where are you

Archie: turn around

Archie: no the other way

Archie: wrong way again

Bonnie: Archie, where exactly are you??

Archie: at home, but the thought of you turning aimlessly in circles is hilarious 

Fall: You want a beer?

Annalise: HE'S 4!!!

Fall: I DON'T KNOW!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT?!

Helen: We call that a traumatic experience. 

Helen, turning to Bonnie: Not a "bruh moment"

Helen, turning to Archie: Not a “major L”

Helen, turning to Charlotte: Not "sadge"

Helen, turning to Fall: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO"

Fall: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Brian: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Fall: Absolutely not.

Bonnie: I’ve got a 6th sense, and it’s called paranoia

Billy: Sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments

Billy: *during a fight* You use emojis like a straight person!

Fall: *mortified* That is literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Brian: *watching Fall in adoration* Heh heh, you are so beautiful when you hate the world~

Archie: Okay, onto plan 2!

Charlotte: Don’t you plan B?

Archie: No, that implies I only have 26 back-up plans

Charlotte: I have a problem.

Billy: Kill it.

Fall: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

Billy: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Billy: One... two... three.

Fall: ...

Billy: ...

Billy : See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

Fall: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.

Fall: Anyways, you said Miracle is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

Charlotte: Hey Fall, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Charlotte: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Fall: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Fall: The fucking satisfaction.

Fall: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?

Helen: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes

Archie: Croissants: dropped

Charlotte: Road: works ahead

Fall: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Helen: Shavacado: fresh

Billy: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Annalise:

Annalise: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Charlotte: Marry, fuck, kill. Annalise, Helen, or me

Fall: Marry Helen, fuck Annie and kill Posy

Posy: I wasn't even a choice!

Fall: Kill Posy

Billy: Hey, it’s Billy

Fall: Oh no, what did he do?

Billy: No, dumby . Like it’s me. 

Fall: what did you do? 

Annalise: *resting on the couch.*

Charlotte: *slowly puts Annalise’s fingers in warm water* 

Annalise: I’m still awake, Charlotte. 

Charlotte:...

*Billy and Charlotte sitting in jail together*

Charlotte: So who should we call?

Billy: I’d call Fall, but I feel safer in jail

Annalise: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Bonnie without her noticing?

Fall: Hey, Bonnie, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Bonnie: *Takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

Annalise: …

*Fall is speaking on the phone with Annalise*

Fall: Yeah, I'm with Posy

Posy: I’m fucking dying-

Fall: Yep, she’s okay.

Posy: I have a knife in my chest!

Fall: No, she can't talk right now. She's sleeping, sorry.

Posy: I'M BLEEDING OUT-

Archie: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Fall: I don’t know how to do that.

Annalise: I don’t wear a watch.

Billy: Time is a construct.

Archie: God is more powerful than you.

Fall: I will kick your god in the kneecaps. 

Helen: Hey Fall are you okay?

Fall: I have this headache that comes and goes. 

*Charlotte walks into the room*

Fall: And there it is again. 

Fall: I hate being touched

Fall: the last time I was touched by another person was in hand to hand combat

Annalise: Brian is literally hugging you right now

Fall:

Fall: this means nothing. Fear me

Annalise: If you drank 42 cups of coffee in one sitting, the caffeine overdose would kill you.

Fall: *hasn’t slept in over a week* So 41 is the limit?

Brian, pointing: May I sit there?

Fall: That’s my lap

Brian: That doesn’t answer my question, Fall. 

Fall: Wait, what just happened? 

Archie: I don't know. I think Helen's not used to feeling emotions. Maybe it was too much for her

Helen, in the distance: *tearful* Shut up! 

Fall: Yesterday I overheard Archie say to Charlotte, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”, and Charlotte replied with “Trust me.”

Fall: I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

Billy: I didn’t get this far by having common sense!

Brian: I’m going to shower, wanna help me?

Fall, scoffing: What, you’ve never showered before?

*Later*

Annalise: Fall, he was flirting with you.

Fall: No he- oh my god.

Fall: I’m actually deeply in love with Brian and we’ve been dating for a couple months now, we even have adorable pet names, I call him  my beloved, my love

Charlotte: why are you telling me this??

Fall: because no one will believe you~*Walks away cackling*

Charlotte : …you sON OF A-

Fall: "I thought you'd be taller."

Brian: "And I thought you'd be less of a dick. Looks like we're both full of disappointments."

Helen: If you got arrested what would be the charges? 

Archie: Theft.  

Charlotte: Disturbing the peace. 

Annalise: Aggravated assault. 

Billy: Arson.  

Fall: All of the above. In that order, probably. 

Fall: I’m a cold blooded killer. I crave vengeance for the loss of my family. I care for no one but those I have lost

Brian, tripping as he runs into the room and falling flat on his face: Ugh!

Fall: *stares*

Brian, climbing to his feet: I’m here to help!

Fall: I want that. Him, I want him-

Brian: Can you do me a favour?

Fall: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for it if you asked me to.

Brian: …okay… so can you do the dishes?

Fall: Fuck no

Brian: *staring at a sleeping Fall with heart eyes as he plays with their hair*

Brian: I would burn the world down just to watch the fire dance in your eyes

Fall: *stirs*

Brian: Bitch if you wake up-

Fall: Lately Archie's gotten into dad jokes, but what's worse is that Billy actually likes them

Archie: I had a nice vacuum cleaner but I had to sell it. It was just gathering dust!

Billy, laughing: That's what it does! 

Fall: Every time I think my hell can't get worse, life finds a way

Fall: Any idiot would  know that!

Charlotte: I knew that

Fall: See!?

Kidnapper: we have your boyfriend. 

Fall: you have Hoodie? 

Kidnapper: yeah. 

Fall: good luck with that

Billy: I don’t like women

Charlotte: You’re a MISOGYNIST?

Fall, waking up from dying again : Oh hey, guys. What time is it?

Annalise: It’s about 2am. Are you hungry? 

Fall: Oh, cool. I’m up for some toast. 

Charlotte (sobbing uncontrollably): Can you guys please stop acting like nothing happened?!

Helen, putting his hands over Fall's eyes: Guess who!

Fall: It's either Peach or the cold, clammy hands of death.

Helen, pulling her hands away: It's Peach!

Fall: Dammit.

Fall: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Bonnie: A few years ago, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

Fall: They're not.

Bonnie: Haha, very funny.

Fall: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

Bonnie: No... what happened?

Fall: ...Why would you fall for this again-

Helen: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Fall: killed without hesitation

Helen: Darling, we’ve talked about this-

Kidnapper: we have your partner.  

Brian: you have Fall? 

Kidnapper: yeah. 

Brian: good luck with that

Charlotte: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Fall: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Arch?

Archie: Probably “road work ahead”.

Annalise: I speak many languages, and this is none of them

Recruit: When you gonna stop giving me blue balls?

Archie: Whoa hey!-

Annalise: Aight, I got my steel toes on. How bout we make’em black and blue?

Recruit: I-

Annalise: Shut the fuck up. I’ve already turned you down twice take a hint

Archie: Just be yourself.

Charlotte: 'Be myself'? Arch, I have one day to win Cody over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Helen: Few days

Billy: Couple weeks.

Annalise: Six months.

Fall: Jury’s still out.

Charlotte: See, Arch?

Charlotte: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Helen: What do you first notice when someone approaches you?

Fall: The audacity.

Brian: you could have died!

Fall: but i didn’t!

Brian: you could have!

Fall: but i didn’t!

Brian: but you could have!

Fall: are we seriously going to keep doing this?

[boopsterliv]

I posted 1,015 times in 2022

That's 975 more posts than 2021!

397 posts created (39%)

618 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@personinthepalace

@firesoulstuff

@princess-of-the-corner

@captain-peroxid3

I tagged 752 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#legends of tomorrow - 192 posts

#captain canary - 132 posts

#leonard snart - 129 posts

#sara lance - 105 posts

#btvs - 71 posts

#buffy the vampire slayer - 69 posts

#incorrect quotes - 68 posts

#spuffy - 55 posts

#legends of tomorrow incorrect quotes - 46 posts

#arrowverse - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#alt universe where buffy says yes immediately and has the most awkward patrol of her life because she thought she was getting laid

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Nobody calls me out better than me

130 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#4

Sara: You have to apologize to Ray.

Leonard: Fine.

Leonard: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Ray: Apology accepted!

Kendra: Seriously?

132 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

I’d like to think that Buffy, who has total night owl energy by the way, stays wrapped up in a fluffy blanket (or five) while Spike makes her coffee. And he watches stupid reality tv with her and they cuddle for as long as they possibly can before they have to get ready for the day ahead of them 

142 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

#2

Literally Any Bad Guy: Wanna sacrifice something innocent for ultimate power?

Spike: Let me check with my wife first. Buffy-

Buffy: No.

Spike: Wife said no, sorry.

217 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Us Spuffy fans were robbed of much but you wanna know what really irks me? Buffy should’ve one hundred percent done Spike’s eyeliner! And he should’ve done her nails! And they could’ve been watching crappy tv as always and eating pizza because they’re so fucking married it’s adorable! And fuck it, give these two a puppy, they deserve a fur baby

287 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[memedoritos]

Bang: You should be ashamed of yourself.  You’re a disgrace to the dojo!

Garou: Ok Boomer.

[lisforlarsony]

Incorrect DPS Quotes PT 2

Neil: From now on we will be using code names.

Neil: You can address me as Eagle One.

Neil: Charlie is “been there done that”.

Neil: Todd is “currently doing that”.

Neil: Pitts is “it happened once in a dream”.

Neil: Meeks is “if I had to pick a friend”.

Neil: And Cameron is..

Neil: Eagle Two

Cameron: Oh thank god.

--

Knox: There's no way he likes me back.

Todd: Charlie would throw himself in front of a moving car for you.

Knox: Charlie would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

--

Neil, at Todd: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Charlie, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

--

Todd: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Neil: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

--

Meeks: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Charlie: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

--

Neil: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Todd: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

--

Neil: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Todd: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

--

Charlie: Are you a painting?

Knox: What-?

Charlie: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Neil: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-

--

Meeks: What are you in the mood for?

Charlie: World domination.

Meeks: That's a bit ambitious.

Charlie: You are my world.

Meeks: Aww...

Charlie:

Meeks:

Charlie:

Meeks: OH.

--

Charlie: Meeks, you love me, right?

Meeks: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

--

Todd: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Todd, points at Knox: Married a lesbian.

Todd, points at Neil: Left a man at the altar.

Todd, points at Pitts: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.

Todd, points at Cameron: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire.

Todd, points at Charlie: Lives in a box!

--

Neil: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Todd: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Neil: That one. I want that one.

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[poisoned-peppermint]

Incorrect quotes my beloved

quench your thirst my beloveds

~~Long post~~

Wilbur: At your wifes house rn ;) she hitting me with a broom

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Catch me gardening topless at 5am telling my baby tomato plant about my bad dream

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I got bitten on my walk by a great dane

Bad: My God - imagine if it had been a small child

Skeppy: I could have fought off a small child, Bad

~~~~~~~

*texting*

Skeppy: I wanted to kiss you today

Bad: Why didn’t you

Skeppy: Can't reach your face

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why are you calling me on your day off?

Skeppy: I need your help. I’ve done something bad, very bad.

Bad: Put the corpse on ice, I’m on my way.

Skeppy: What? No, it’s not-- why would I--

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: Tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. I can’t keep up with you. Please think of my tiny legs i don’t want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS

Ranboo: Just get a pair of roller skates and hang on to my sleeve, we don’t have all day.

~~~~~~~

Bad: *demon bf that insists on making pacts for every little thing*       

"i will do the dishes... for a price (kissies)"

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I like your pants.

Bad: Thanks. They were 50% off.

Skeppy: I’d like them 100% off.

Bad: The store can’t just give clothes away.

Skeppy: That's not what I-

Bad: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Skeppy.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: It just feels amazing to finally spread my legs and be the person that I am.

Skeppy: ... You just said, 'spread your legs'.

Bad: I just said spr- spread my wings.

~~~~~~~

Bad: I thought I told you to stay in the car.

Skeppy: You did. But I thought it was boring, and you were in trouble.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why me?

Skeppy: Because people like you. You're quiet. You say, ‘excuse me’. You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning.

~~~~~~~

Bad: We're having another moment, aren't we?

Skeppy: If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

~~~~~~~

Bad: We both look very handsome tonight.

Skeppy: You know, if you’d just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, ‘so do you’.

Bad: I couldn’t take that chance.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.

Skeppy: You've been?

Bad: Once, in Monopoly.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Is everything all right, Skeppy? You seem distracted. Usually, I get at least a glimmer of a smile from my remarks, the occasional eye roll. I think I got a snort once.

~~~~~~~

DreamXD: We have fun, don’t we, George?

George: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

~~~~~~~

Bad: This is the worst thing you've ever done!

Skeppy: You know, you say it so much it's lost all its meaning.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Frankly, I would say I'm gayer than you.

Bad: How are you gayer than I am?

Skeppy: Well, I wear a man purse.

Bad: That's not gay! That's hideous! And if you were as gay as I am, you'd know that!

~~~~~~~

Bad, about Skeppy: I don't have a crush on them. They’re just someone I stare at and I like and when they’re not here, it ruins my day.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read.

~~~~~~~

Dream: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Dream: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

~~~~~~~

Dream, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo

~~~~~~~

Dream: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

~~~~~~~

Dream: You're right.

George: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~~~~~~~

Dream: George... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

George: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Dream:

Dream: I wrote sanitize, George.

~~~~~~~

Karl, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Sapnap, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

Quackity: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Karl: playing systemic oppression

~~~~~~~

Karl, trying to ask Sapnap out: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Quackity: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory.

Ranboo: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.

Tubbo: Nice

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. 

Ranboo: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Tubbo: That one. I want that one.

~~~~~~

Ranboo: So, I’ve been thinking Tubbo-

Tubbo: That’s dangerous.

~~~~~~~

Ranboo, watching power lines fall down: Tommy, Tubbo! The town is exploding and it’s very pretty!

~~~~~~~~

George: Dream, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.

Dream: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

~~~~~~~

Bad: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?

Skeppy, cooking the fish: What? I couldn’t hear you, please speak up.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*

Bad: Oh my god, is this expired?

Bad: *Takes another sip of milk*

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: You have Crayons?

Bad: Yes, I have—

Skeppy: You're— how old are you?

Bad: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

~~~~~~~~

will make more <3

[yourfuckingmemedealer]

Tanjiro: on the count of 3, we both say "i'm sorry". One, two, three.

Tanjiro: ....

Inosuke: ....

Tanjiro: Now, see I'm disappointed in both of us.

[kotorno]

Fun Story Time

Growing up, I was raised Christian as my family was considered Lutheran protestants. At least that’s the kind of churches we went to. As I got into my teens I questioned religion a lot because it starts to crop up, “wait, some of this doesn’t make sense.” My parents were upset with me for having such a shake in faith, but I persisted on. What I would eventually learn is that my parents’ marriage was absolutely HATED by the majority of dad’s family as he didn’t marry “the right kind of Christian” and so my mother at the time, trying to still be in their good graces, wasn’t upset so much at my lack of faith, but was more upset that they’d look down on her MORE because one of her kids abandoned religion altogether. I’ve found Catholism a toxic dump ever since. If people are going to judge you based on your fucking DENOMINATION of religion, they can fuck off. Didn’t know at the time, but there’s even worse denominations than that. Fun. As part of the (at least lutheran-protestant) christian tradition, I had to get “confirmed” with the church. For those unaware what this is, the common practice of christian tradition is that no baby is born “good” in a sense. You first need to be baptised in order to be “cleansed” to have the holy spirit with you. (If this sounds 100% incorrect, I apologize, but it is how it was told to me by my fucking pastor.) After baptism, your ritual for “adulthood” in christian faith is to get Confirmed. This basically is “I’ve been saved by the holy trinity, now I am affirming my belief.” Depending on church will depend on how it goes, and I’m guessing denomination as well, but what it meant for me is that for 2 years, I would have to take extra church classes after school at least once a week to truly “understand the value of christ.” And of course, with most old religious traditions that go, “you’re an adult now!” this is sprung on you when you’re about 12-15. You know. WHEN YOU ARE GOING THROUGH FUCKING PUBERTY. Definitely the BEST time to force faith down your throat as you don’t understand what the fuck is going on with your body. As a side-note, let’s think for a moment. Isn’t fucking WEIRD that you “need” to be baptised to be saved from evil? The baby doesn’t have a conscious choice in this, they just get it done to them because the parents said so. But I suppose that’s why the confirmation exists, for you as “an adult” to choose if the religion is right for you or not. ...except the part where you’re a FUCKING TEENAGER and you still live (most likely) under the roof of the same people who baptised you and they are forcing you to go into this regardless of your opinion or not. As such, I went through the confirmation program. It was mostly, and I shit you not, just “let’s redo bible school, but now it’s required to be part of the church.” Which is ridiculous as it is. For many churches, they have an alternative to younger children instead of church services, and that is a class they partake in that teaches the same lessons, just in a classroom setting instead of those uncomfortable wooden bullshit couches. So for me, who was already subjected to this school on sunday (that taught really no real lessons that you wouldn’t already find in a fairy tale), the majority of these 2 years of “can’t hang on wednesday, I gotta go to church and learn how to be a good christian” were review and nothing else. At this point you’re probably going, “wow, we get it, you hated it.” Yes. But I think it’s better to understand the temperament in which I went in with for these classes. As I was only 12 at the time of these starting, I was given an ultimatum by my mother: “Go in with an open mind” as my faith (or lack thereof) was already waning. But shutting yourself out completely before hearing at least what the other side had to say was indeed wrong. So I went in with this mindset. If I HAD to go to these classes, then I would go to LEARN. Why is the bible the way it is? Do we quote scripture properly? Why do we bother to use the Old Testament as keys to lectures/sermons/whatever when the story of Jesus Christ is literally him saying, “no, fuck that” ? I came with those types of questions for most classes starting off. I wasn’t trying to be, “well, actually,” I was genuinely trying to get, from the perspective of either a devout congregation member who taught the class or a pastor, WHY they thought this was the way it was. What insight did they have that would assist? Of course, these classes weren’t one-on-one. They were with others. Some who were devout already and just ready to believe whatever the teacher told them. Some were bored and annoyed they were forced to be there. And me, being as polite as possible, would raise my hand when questions were allowed... “Excuse me, but from what I could read in the bible, I couldn’t find an exact passage that supports this. Could you elaborate on why ____ is mandatory in service?” I think one time that blank was filled in with “song” (I hated singing in public), sometimes it was about communion, but always I would look through the book, to the best of my ability, to see if there was a direct correlation. This was the holy text, and I needed confirmation on how the rituals came about if there wasn’t a road map. After all, you read about 2+2 and you can read the history of WHY 2+2 and how it got there, etc. The knowledge is there to be learned, understood, and accepted. It gets updated (hopefully) to match with the times in order for current generations to better understand it. That’s how textbooks should work. In the context of this class, the bible itself was the textbook, and the textbook didn’t bring up the examples I commented on. In fairness, at least the pastor would be able to give some historical context to why some of the rituals were used. I liked these answers as they gave me more understanding of how the religion was founded. After all, if I was going to be a devout believer in this, just knowing Jesus died for our sins wasn’t enough. I needed to know what had happened between then and now. And that’s when it happened. Someone in the class just shouted at me, “Devil Child!” I was confused by this. I was trying to get information in gaps that the text could not provide. I paid it no mind at first... But I kept asking questions. I wanted to be open minded, so for me to be open minded I needed to know as much as I could. If I just “believed” what was in the text directly, that would be just as close-minded as shunning the religion altogether. Now though, almost EVERYONE was commenting on me each time I made a question. “Devil Child.” “Only the devil would ask questions of faith,” some reasoned. Others just wanted to jump on me because that’s how they got their kicks. Be it the congregation member teachers or the pastor, they sat in silence as I was continually called this. Just ignoring it passively, though I could see at least the congregation member teachers sometimes smugly smiling at me, “shut up freak, just accept the religion and piss off” is what their expression told me. I endured this for 2 years because my parents told me to. I knew I was being harassed and did tell my mother one time. She took it up to the pastor who then said, “oh, well he’s a bit of a disruptive student” so I was shat on again. Asking questions... when you say, “does anyone have any questions?” is being... disruptive? What? Nevermind that the issue wasn’t my questions, it was, ‘why are these kids being so harassing toward someone who wants to understand the faith better?” I would meet with that pastor shortly before my actual confirmation ceremony. In which I learned, he was pretty much A-OK with those other kids being assholes to me. “Part of faith is having faith in it, it’s typically frowned upon to ask questions,” he said... after I had already endured this for the past 2 years. “Then why even entertain my questions in the first place? Why ask for questions?” I would say. “Oh. We know most don’t care to ask them, it’s just a common phrase to make sure people understand and we just move on, you know how it is,” he said. “But I DIDN’T understand, that’s why I was asking them.” “Yeah, and that’s your problem. Faith isn’t about understanding, it’s about belief.” I was adamant on NOT being confirmed. But apparently (and this could be 100% bullshit told to me just to do the ceremony) if you don’t get confirmed it’s harder to become a member of a church later in life. So I did what I had to, and had a fun picture of my 14 year old self pretending to smile in confirmation robes planted on my parents’ shelf for all the years to come. When I brought this up much later in life, mainly as a joke as to how horrible christian people can be, my mother was horrified, “Why didn’t I hear about this?!” “I told you. You tried to do something, they did jack-all.” “I thought they were having a problem with your lack of faith.” “Oh no, they probably thought that based on how my conversation with that asshole pastor went. I was just trying to get kids to stop bullying me for wanting to learn.” I gave up most all faith after that. While I’m probably more agnostic than anything (there are too many good people who do not deserve to die while the wicked still live, and I’m scared to shit of death after being extremely suicidal in high school), I’ve had an extreme bad taste for Christianity ever since. That doesn’t mean you can’t be a good person and still be very religious christian. I’ve met quite a few who may wear their religion on their sleeve, but don’t use it as an end-all be-all that I see... far too common nowadays. In a quest to understand, I was told, “shut the fuck up and just take this in, no questions asked.” And I look now, especially today, to how that mentality has spread to extremists. The church I attended wasn’t batshit insane, it was considered highly respectable by most in my metro area. It wasn’t mormon or evangelical or fucking jehovah’s witnesses levels of batshit insane. It wasn’t even Catholic insane. But the point remained between all of them, from what I saw and learned: To ask a question, is a sin to god. The God that is “perfect,” “infallible,” “loving,” “all-knowing.” If they’re perfect and all-knowing, they should be able to answer some goddamn questions. If they’re infallible and loving, they should be smiting truly wicked people from this world. This is the God that the New Testament speaks of. One would would literally give a human child to bear the brunt of human sin. This is the christian God. And it’s a fucking lie. Maybe, just maybe, people know of such a god. But none who invoke that name constantly to push their own viewpoints see such a god. They see a malicious, hateful, evil judge who must destroy anything that does not fit their ideal image. And now we have the US run by people who think that. By people who “believe” that because belief is all that matters. Fuck what anyone else says. Belief in this all-powerful asshole that wants to destroy anything they deem incorrect. PRETTY SURE that’s what the devil was supposed to be in the christian mythos. But what do I know. I am in fact, a “devil child.”

[the-ce-horniest-book-club]

Last Chance Prompt Fest

Today is the day that our Last Chance Prompt Fest starts.

To take part, you don’t need to claim a prompt through us at all, you just find a prompt you like, create what you want to create and then tag us @the-ce-horniest-book-club​ and use the hashtag “CE HBC Last Chance Prompt Fest”. You can also DM your link to us to ensure we see it.

The event starts today, Friday, August 27th and ends next Friday, September 3, 2021.

Once the event has ended, we will answer the ask for the prompts that received creations. We will also have a masterlist for everything created as well.

Who can we create for?

You can create stuff for Steve Rogers, Chris Evans or any of Chris’s 18+ characters.

What can we create?

While the CE HBC is primarily a writing community, these events are to encourage creators of all types. So for this event, you can write, make moodboards, create a playlist, make a video or whatever you are inspired to create based on the prompts under the keep reading.

All of the prompts are listed below the cut and it does not matter how many things are created for each prompt.

Chris Evans Prompts

Could you do one with chris where the reader is eating something delicious and Chris hears them and tries to distract them with smutty things but the reader picks the treat over Chris. (Just had yams that tasted like my grandma used to make years ago, and I’ll pick that over Chris right now lol)

It’s hot AF where I live and we all know Chris doesn’t like the hot temps… so maybe something about trying to beat the heat

How many rounds was that? Four? God, we’re about to break our own record. With Chris? 😍

That’s a lot of sass for someone who ruined my sheets and still hasn’t apologized. With Chris?

Prompt: being friends with Chris and helping and supporting him with ASP too. When the news hit that Biden won your together and after squealing, he just grabs and kisses you.

Chris Evans brushing his heavily pregnant wife’s hair

Chris introducing you to his family for the first time

Readers reaction when Chris has to shave off his beard for a role and doesn’t tell her?

Hey i had an idea. she faked her orgasm because she has trouble cum.  Chris finds out and is angry because she hasn’t said anything and doubts his abilities?  then he brings her to orgasm

Chris playing Christmas songs on the piano while you wrap presents or something where he keeps you company while you’re doing something else

Ari Levinson Prompts

Cowboy Ari Levinson helping you out after he finds you on his ranch

Curtis Everett Prompts

Trying to have quiet sex with Curtis behind a curtain.

Frank Adler Prompts

Frank Adler gets a new neighbor - reader who is just as intelligent as his family and they like each other right away.

Nick Vaughn Prompts

Nick Vaughan keeping you company on the streets of New York

Steve Rogers Prompts

“I’m your Captain and you follow my orders!” “Aye, aye Cap’n!” “I said Captain, not pirate.”

“Hey Steve, what does a deaf gynecologist do?” “I don’t know.” “He reads lips.”

How about a drunk drabble based off of Right Girl Wrong Time by Jon Langston with Steve and Peggy

someone should write a steve and bucky threesome with a reader

“Yeah sex is great but have you just ever wanted to rub yourself over that fucking beard of Steve’s?”

I have a prompt for you. Steve has fallen in love with the Motown sound since Sam has played most of the genre for him. He has gone shopping, or gone for coffee and he hears you sing a song from the Supremes and is instantly intrigued. Have fun seducing him with music. https://youtu.be/HXGz8i0I2L0

It’s the first Christmas Steve has spent with y/n

Reader making Steve a heart cake for Valentine’s Day ❤️

Multiple Options Prompts

Can I get the following prompt with Steve, Colin, or Jensen? “In ancient Greece, throwing an apple was done to declare one’s love.” “How do I love thee, let me count the ways? Thump, thump, thump.” “So the mild concussion means you love me?”

Could I get “I see that you have your legal name listed as Y/n’s Daddy. That’s incorrect. You’re legal name is what’s on your Drivers Licence.” With any of Chris’ characters please?

SFW Prompts

For Chris or one of his characters, there is only one bed and they got to sleep far apart but wake up cuddling. Bonus points if they don’t hate it.

“Just tell why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay?!”

How about they’re roommates and “just friends” who develop feelings for each other

“You always say that, but I’d only see you for a day or two until you have to fly out again.”

“You don’t have to say anything, if you don’t want. I just thought you should know.”

i have been in love with you, dumbass

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

I have these… powers raging around inside me, and I have no clue how to control them.

“Hey, it’s cold. Light a fire or something. I swear, you’re a cold blooded reptile.”

that guy in the gorilla costume has been following us for the past ten blocks.

going to a masquerade ball

“So, you’re the unfortunate soul stuck with me.”

“I look at you and I think, ‘sunshine. Literal sunshine.’ It’s annoying.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“What’s with the box?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“It’s not like I love you or anything.”

Merlin quote prompt: Nobility is defined by what you do, not by who you are

“Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you love me.”

“I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

“I just want you to know I love you and I hope these roses prove that to you.”

Prompt: “if you steal all the blankets I’m going to put my cold feet on you.”

“What have we here? Bed: unslept in. Hair in… missionary disarray. And yesterday’s dress with today’s shame all over it.” Gossip Girl

Every time I’m in the same room with her, I can’t decide if I want to pick a fight with her or push her up against a wall and kiss the fuck out of her. - Falling for My Enemy by Claire Kingsley

“The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you.”

NSFW Prompts

“Wet pussy is the best. I can’t get enough of the juices dripping from my mouth.”

“She beauty, she grace, I want her pussy on my face.”

“Sheathing my cock inside you feels like a jam donut being torn in half. Delicious and mind blowing.”

Twist on quarantine haircuts: couple helping each other with pubic hair maintenance

“I don’t know if you’re looking for Aztek gold down there, but if you don’t hurry up and fuck my brains out I’ll do it my damn self!”

“Have you ever noticed how eating a hot dog is similar to giving deepthroat?” “No but thanks, I don’t want to eat this now.”

Babe I can’t sleep. I know you just woke me up. Wanna fuck? I’m awake!!!

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but I’m about to punish that sassy mouth!”

“I love your longish hair baby. Finally got something to pull while you’re between my legs devouring me.”

Holiday Prompts

“Great, now I have to re-hide your Christmas gifts.”

“I’m not going to kiss you under the mistletoe.”

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

“What are you doing?” “Hiding from carolers.”

“Santa’s handwriting looks suspiciously like yours.”

“Why does the house smell like a cinnamon roll threw up?”

“Are you Santa? Because I’d sit on your lap.”

“YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”

“What the hell kind of Charlie Brown Christmas tree did you buy?”

“It looks like the North Pole threw up.”

i may or may not have gotten tangled up in the tinsel.

“If we don’t have this damn tree up before the end of the night, I’m going to kill you.”

“I’m going to tell Santa to give you coal.”

“It’s an advent calendar. You’re supposed to open one square a day, not eat half the chocolate in a sitting.”

“Why is there mistletoe in every room of the apartment?”

I got a little too drunk off of egg nog and vodka and you look so pretty in this light, and I most definitely want to kiss you right now, best friends or not.

we were going to a Christmas party but fuck if you don’t just look sinful in red, and you know what? Fuck that Christmas party.

Dad!chris (or one of his characters) and his kids at Christmas

“You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Spending your first Valentine’s Day together with any character

[everlune-evotide]

Incorrect Quotes Game Tag

I was tagged by @asher-writes! Thanks for the tag! 

Rules: use this quote generator & list as many quotes as you like using characters from your WIPs, then tag as many people as quotes you listed.

I tag anyone who wants to do this. Because I did way too many of these. 

characters are from several of my universes lol mostly from “Broken Resonance” and the unnamed series that takes place before that.

—

Jerecho: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Jasper: You and me!!!

Jerecho, tearing up: Okay.

—

Jasper (who is dyslexic): petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday 

Jerecho: Wednesay 

Jasper: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

—

Jasper: A theif. 

Jerecho: Thief? 

Jasper: Theif. 

Jerecho: I before E, except after C. 

Jasper: Thceif. 

Jerecho: No.

—

Brass: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Jerecho: Brass, you don't have bad luck. 

Jerecho: The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

—

Jasper, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Mercy, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

—

Brass: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Sterling, not looking up from his book: Spear.

Brass: BLOCKED.

—

Brass: Raegan! My face is on fire!

Raegan: Brass! Are you ok?!

Brass: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Raegan: But your face is on fire.

Brass: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

—

Jasper: Okay, help me please!

Mercy: Got two words for you.

Jasper: I bet they won't be helpful.

Mercy: Your problem.

Jasper: I was right

—

Jasper: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Sterling: Several traffic violations.

Jerecho: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Brass: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Mitch: Also, that’s not our car.

—

Jasper: You're a loose cannon, Echo. 

Jerecho: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me? 

Sterling: I think you play by your own rules. 

Mitch: No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken. 

Jasper: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon. 

Jerecho: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Brass is a loose cannon. 

Brass: *smashes a chair*

—

Sterling: Anyone d- 

Jerecho: Depressed? 

Mitch: Drained? 

Brass: Dumb? 

Jasper: Disliked? 

Sterling: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people …

—

Jerecho: I’m an idiot.

Jasper:

Brass:

Mitch:

Sterling:

Jerecho:

Jasper: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

—

Raegan: Why are Jasper and Jerecho sitting with their backs to each other?

Brass: They had a fight.

Raegan: Then why are they holding hands?

Brass: They get sad when they fight.

—

Brass: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? 

Jerecho: The car takes a screenshot. 

Mitch: For the last time, get the fuck out.

—

Brass: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? 

Mitch: You’re a hazard to society 

Jerecho: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

—

Brass: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Jasper: Brass no.

Jerecho: Mistlefoe.

Jasper: Please stop encouraging him.

—

Jerecho: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. 

Sterling: Wasn't Jasper with you? 

Jasper: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

—

Sterling: You have to apologize to Jasper 

Mercy: Fine. 

Mercy: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

—

Mercy, pointing: May I sit there? 

Mitch: That's my lap 

Mercy: That doesn't answer my question, Mitchell.

—

Jerecho: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Jasper: Okay.

Jerecho: And make out during the scary parts.

Jasper: Th-

Jasper: The scary parts.

Jasper: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

—

Jerecho: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Jasper: Echo, that's a coma.

Jerecho: Sounds festive.

—

Jasper: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life 

Jerecho: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? 

Jasper: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. 

Brass: edible

—

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Person Mercy* 

Mercy: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

—

Jasper: You often use humor to deflect trauma 

Jerecho: Thank you 

Jasper: I didn't say that was a good thing 

Jerecho: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

—

Jasper: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. 

Brass: What if it bites me and it dies!? 

Mercy: Then you’re poisonous. Learn to listen. 

Mitch: What if it bites itself and I die? 

Jerecho: That’s voodoo. 

Brass: What if it bites me and someone else dies? 

Sterling: That’s correlation, not causation. 

Mitch: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? 

Jerecho: That’s kinky. 

Jasper: Oh my gosh. 

—

Jasper: Dumbest scar stories, go! 

Sterling: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. 

Mercy: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. 

Brass: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. 

Mitch: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. 

Jerecho: 

Jerecho: I have emotional scars.

—

Mercy: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? 

Mitch: >:O language 

Jasper: Yeah watch your fucking language 

Brass: OKAY WHO TAUGHT JASPER THE FUCK WORD? 

Jerecho: 'The fuck word'. 

Sterling: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time 

Jasper: Oh my gosh he censored it 

Jerecho: Say fuck, Sterling. 

Jasper: Do it, Sterling. Say fuck.

—

'Can I copy the homework?'

Sterling: I can help you with it! 

Jasper: Yeah, sure. 

Jerecho: Bold of you to assume I did the homework. 

Raegan: lol nope. 

Brass: Wait, we had homework?!?!?! 

Mercy: *Read 5:55pm*

—

Aiko: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife? 

Anastasia: Rude. 

Kristofer: That’s fair. 

Kadence: Not again. 

Anthem: Are you going to want this back?

—

Kadence: Where are you going?

Anastasia: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

—

Anastasia: Am I in trouble?

Kadence: Take a guess.

Anastasia: No?

Kadence: Take another guess.

—

Kristofer: Am I going too far? 

Kadence: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison

—

Kadence: How do I deal with my enemies?

Kristofer: Kill them

Kadence: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Anastasia: Kill them only a little?

—

Anastasia: I made tea.

Anthem: I don’t want tea.

Anastasia: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Anthem: Then why are you telling me?

Anastasia: It is a conversation starter.

Anthem: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Anastasia: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

—

Kadence: *Screams* 

Anthem: *Screams louder to assert dominance* 

Anastasia: Should we do something?! 

Kristofer, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

—

Anastasia: Is stabbing someone immoral? 

Kristofer: Not if they consent to it. 

Anthem: Depends who you’re stabbing. 

Kadence: YES?!?

—

Anthem, tending to Anastasia's wounds: How would you rate your pain? 

Anastasia: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

—

Anastasia: I was arrested for being too cool.

Anthem: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

—

Kadence: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword. 

Anastasia: That's why I carry two swords.

—

Kristofer: Someone will die.

Kadence: Of fun!

—

Kristofer: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? 

Anastasia: I'm a knife. 

Anthem, from across the room: She’s the little spoon.

—

*Kristofer and Anastasia sitting in jail together*

Anastasia: So who should we call?

Kristofer: I’d call Kadence, but I feel safer in jail.

—

Anastasia: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Anthem: I do have a sense of humor you know

Anastasia: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Anthem: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

—

Kristofer: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. 

Kadence: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! 

Anastasia: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! 

Anthem: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. 

Kristofer: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

—

Axel, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. 

Des: But – that’s just a trash can. 

Axel: It sure is!

—

Axel: What is your biggest weakness?

Des: I can be uncooperative.

Axel: Okay, can you give me an example?

Des: No.

—

Axel: Des and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- 

Des: Sentences. 

Axel: Don't interrupt me.

—

Logan: This is such a bad idea.

Axel: Then why are you coming along?

Logan: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

—

Shane: Is something burning?

Raelynn: Just my love for you.

Shane: Rae, the toaster is on fire.

—

Cassi, whispering to Axel, who’s on the phone with Des: Ask her something!

Axel: How are you feeling?

Des: Fine.

Cassi: Something personal!

Axel: At what age did you first get your period?

—

Mackenzie: I think we're missing something. 

Rebel: Teamwork? 

Dakota: Cohesion? 

Xander: A general sense of what we’re doing?

—

Mackenzie, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Dakota, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Rebel, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Xander, trembling: What are we playing

—

Xander: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. 

Dakota: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

—

Mackenzie: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? 

Xander: Oh, I’m always running 

Xander: The question is from what