#apparently she has no name according to google

[piglinmyfeet]

Jimmy being a ghost is so currently relevant

It's just like A Christmas Carol, but is Jimmy the ghost of Christmas past present or future?

[wynought]

since i haven't seen it being pointed out before

all of the first stoats' names essentially mean "light"

kiran is of sanskrit origin meaning "ray of light" (and, according to wikipedia, an explicitly unisex name), uri is a hebrew name meaning "my light", hester is a variant of the name esther (of biblical/jewish origin) which comes from the same old persian root as the word "star", and, while i didn't find any particularly reliable source, various babyname websites at least seem to agree that jomei is a japanese name meaning "spread light"

additionally, their names seem to correlate with their purpose/position in last bast:

jomei is the speaker, they are in charge of propaganda - quite literally spreading the belief system and worldview of the first stoats aka the Light. it feels like this name is extremely straightforward in its meaning, but i was also unable to find much else on it, so there may be some additional hidden truth that i'm missing so far.

hester is the silence (the one with the gas mask missing their lower jaw and tongue) and their sphere of influence is secrets. now, i'm no religious scholar, and i have all of my information from quite literally the introductory paragraphs of the wikipedia article on the name esther. however, it seems that queen esther only took this name after ascending to the throne of persia to hide her true identity. this is reflected in the hebrew root of the name esther translating into "hide"/"conceal". (i am unable to provide more info on this, but anybody with a working understanding of how hebrew works and/or with more insight on the book of esther, feel free to interject/correct/add on to this)

uri is our beloved stoat pope. apparently, the name uri comes from the verb for "to shine" (to either be or to give light) and the mark of possession, resulting in the first connotation i mentioned earlier - "my light". this possessive marker, however, can also be interpreted as the name Yah which would be an abbreviation of YHWH - a marker of the divine, if you will. Therefore, Uri can also mean "Yah is my light", a very fitting name for the stoat whose department we only see called "faith".

i was unable to find a deeper meaning behind kiran's name, although to me "beam of light" feels very much like a name befitting the first stoats' leader. considering the way they commanded the wolf of theseus, it also seems to reflect the way their magic/their brand of control worked (their line of sight was part of how they controlled the wolf, indicating that was a key part of either their magic or the conditioning inflicted on the wolf - i'm partial towards the latter, considering how the wolf reacted to tula after she healed it). if anybody has anything more concrete to offer, though, i am all ears!

anyways, the first stoats' names are really cool, and we as a fandom don't talk enough about them because they died so fast. huge props to aabria for this fun bit of world building!

(disclaimer: as mentioned above, i have no background in theology or judaism, nor do i have any deeper knowledge of sanskrit, hindi, and indian mythology/folklore, nor japanese, and japanese mythology which would give me a deeper understanding of these names. my information comes from google and while i did try my best to verify the claims, i am fallible and happen to currently be very tired, so please correct me, if i made any mistakes!)

[dailydemonspotlight]

I'm so so so in love with the content you make on this blog, thank you so much for all the effort you put into researching each demon!

Is it possibile to ask for some insights on muu shuwuu?

Have a nice day!

Muu Shuwuu - Day 85

Race: Raptor

Arcana: Temperance

Alignment: Dark-Law

August 2nd, 2024

The obscurity of several demons throughout the SMT series isn't often a point of contention- most demons, barring a few (cough, cough, Arahabaki,) have rather open-and-shut cases, and their origins are easily able to be traced, as are their stories. However, sometimes, it's not that easy, and sometimes the source mythology itself is so obscure it's hard to get a grasp on. We've already seen this with poor ol' Porewit, but another case of this lies in the somewhat off-kilter religion of Tengrism, and, more specifically, a rather bizarre spirit from said religion. Today's Demon of the Day is that creature, one created out of a dead woman who never got to experience love, Muu Shuwuu.

Sources and stories relating to this demon are scant, even for this series- as an obscure monster from an already obscure religion, Mu Shuvuu (also referred to as Moh Shuvuu, Maγu Sibaγu, Moshobo, or Muu Shubuu in several different sources) is a tough nut to crack. Almost all sources about this bird are in different languages, whether it be Japanese, German, or Russian, and as such it'll be hard to get direct quotes for a lot of sources. Given the hellish mixture of a lack of primary/secondary sources, Google Translate having to try its damndest to translate the few articles I can track down, but I've managed to get a general idea of what it's going for thanks to the Internet Archive.

Mentioned within the text 'Demonology, Ritual Principles, and Worship Grimoires,' Muu Shuvuu makes an appearance concretely in English. Thank YHVH. In the text, the Tengri demonness appears listed as an example of an evil spirit from another culture. Her name literally meaning 'evil bird,' the spirit is noted as being dangerous to entire groups of people, though especially so to lonesome travelers or those with soft hearts. Appearing as a kind, lonely young girl, she'd always be hiding her mouth out of fear of revealing her beak...

According to the text, Mongolian principles state that a person has two or three types of souls within them, and Moh Shuvuu is made up of that third kind of soul- the type that can form into a spirit after death. A Muu Shuwuu specifically seems to form from a combination of factors, namely being a young girl who either died without ever experiencing love, died and had their father place a flint into her hand posthumously, or experienced a violent death. This would eventually lead to their spirit growing restless and rising from their corpse, forming into, what else, but a Muu Shuwuu itself. The bird would then go around seeking vengeance for its lack of love, proceeding to seduce men who would approach, or pretend to be a lost little girl in order to get the man to let his guard down. Then, after bringing the man to a safe location, she would proceed to kill him and suck his brain out of his head with her sharp beak. Again, a lot of this is hard to prove confidently, given that I'm mostly working off of wikipedia articles and spotty translations- most sources are exclusively either Japanese or use Cyrillic, which I can't translate due to not having a keyboard for either alphabet- but for the most part, I can glean that she sucks out the brain for sustenance.

I think, and this is based mostly off of speculation from the articles referenced above, that Muu Shuwuu actually isn't a mix of a bird and girl like in SMT- no, apparently she is able to shift between the two forms, the young girl's form being a disguise so she can then slaughter the man later on as a bird. This seems to make Muu Shuwuu less of a harpy and more of, well, a bird! That aside, though, I do have to admit that the design in SMT works very well- to an extent, this is what I wish Hua Po actually looked like, given the bird theming throughout her original story, but I might be asking for a bit much here. Still, if any of you can find any further sources on this demon, I'd happily take them, as I'm not quite satisfied with this simple of a rundown. Regardless, though, I have to thank SMT for making a demon from such an obscure concept, even if that would eventually down the line lead me to a strange, bottomless spiral of research.

Tengrism is fucking weird, man.

[woman-of-many-fandoms]

Honestly though, it must be so weird to work with some people for a few years of your life and for years, decades, later people are shipping you with your co worker.

I'm obviously all for shipping fictional characters, but this is the actors job. Where they get a paycheck. They are literally being paid to act like found family.

Like imagine you worked in an office with some people for 3 years in 2004-2007 and in 2030 people are making clips of you and how in love you look while eating lunch with Carol or saying hi as you both arrived in the parking lot.

I've seen this in pretty much every fandom I've been in. Star Trek, good omens, X men, Marvel. I do not think RDJ has any emotional attachment to Chris Evens or that Shanter really cared about and enjoyed spending time with Nimoy. I'm positive for David Tennant, Good Omens is just his next job and Michael Sheen only likes it because it made him much more well known in the acting world and it'll be easier to get his next gig. Yes Pine and Quinto look like they are actual friends outside of the movies but that is an exception.

Anyway, just my thoughts since I just saw a post of some Trek actors in I'm assuming the late 80s or 90s and people were saying 'how could he not be bi saying stuff like this'. Money, the answer is always money.

edit: OK let me address some of what is in the comments. Do actors say they are friends, sure, and if you want to take that at face value then you are right, they are friends. I personally don't think it counts if you are being paid to do so. And before anyone says anything, no not directly. But they have a whole 'image' to uphold that their income is tied to.

I don't know much about the entertainment industry and don't know why people would want that life but it's .... well, different, is the nice way to say it. My sister's career is considered part of the entertainment industry though she is behind the scenes. (And, side note, even being behind the scenes I've still found photoshopped images someone made of her in her in sexy lingerie ... )

TBF we don't talk that often but I've heard some stories (apparently Bill Nye is more then a bit of a jerk behind closed doors) She's lived in Hollywood 12 years now and there is the face people put out in the public and who they truly are. Yes, we all have a self that we hide (I'm autistic so I know all about masking) but it seems that is pushed to extremes.

I've seen her act like many people's best friends (house parties and giving favors and gifts that I question) and promoting their good name in public then she'll tell me in private some horrible things that person has done to others and how it's just how it works. She house/cat sat for a guy (and sent me views from his balcony, my god it was nice) who I think a lot of people would recognize from TV but their relationship was built on respect for each other careers.

Sure, you can tell me not to base the examples off my sisters stories and, ok fair. But I'd also want to point out - the part of RDJ buying evens a car, I did some math. He has 300 million net worth according to google. I have a salary, not net worth (or a negative one cause of student loans I guess), but it is the equivalent of me buying my co worker a $32 gift assuming the car was 150k. I met a guy who performed in Vegas shows and told me how they've had dinner with (I honestly don't remember if it was Penn or Teller) at their house with their spouses. And private chats ... doesn't really tell me much.

I'm currently seeing a bunch of clips of the main actors for the new Wicked movie saying how each other changed each others lives and it just comes off as more acting to promote the movie to me.

And even with Pine and Quinto , I only gave that one a pass because they said knew each other and got along before being in Trek and even then, eh..

Again, just how I interpret things. I know friend can mean different things to different people and a lot of what I see I don't interpret as friend, I see it as networking. I would absolutely be 'friends' with someone if it helped me make and maintain my multi millions .

[thechanelmuse]

Wendy Williams

When my damn spidey senses kick in.

From the moment that diagnosis news went viral today, something didn't feel right. But I couldn't put my finger on it.

So Wendy's niece, Alex, went on The View today and discussed the upcoming 2-part Lifetime docuseries, Where Is Wendy Williams?, with the hosts (who all watched the series). Apparently, the series exposes the court-appointed conservatorship that bars the family. I been knew about the family being barred and not being put in the know about her whereabouts (sketchy), but not what the series features aside from Wendy. Interesting.

Peep all the details revealed and the specific questions that are asked:

Right after the interview 🤔, news about Wendy having aphasia and frontotemporal dementia comes out. How convenient. Who is the damn guardian? Why is it so secretive? I google. This ho down here pops up but I also see it's made its way onto twitter:

Now this court-appointed temporary guardian has filed a lawsuit against Lifetime to block the docuseries from coming out, according to TMZ. On the same day as the interview and that diagnosis news. Clockwork. 😒 Per TMZ:

"Sabrina Morrissey -- who says she's acting in her capacity as temporary guardian of W.W.H. (presumably Wendy Williams Hunter) -- just filed suit against A&E Television Networks, but she did it under seal, meaning the public can't peep what exactly she's running to court for.

"Morrissey is also seeking a temporary restraining order in her action -- again, that's often the mechanism used when someone wants a judge to step in and halt the release of a film or television project. Now, what's interesting is that the judge actually ordered all the docs to remain temporarily under seal -- and set a hearing date for next week to determine whether they should stay that way as the case plays out.

"Of course, the Wendy doc drops this weekend, and while the hearing on the sealing issue falls after the release date, it's possible the court will rule on the merits of what Morrissey's asking for ... namely, injunctive relief against A&E -- while the docs are temporarily sealed. "

Leak docuseries now.

😒

[polonium-snap]

Bkdk plot bunnies pt. 4

- Katsuki is a great fucking adult, the best even

- he does his taxes, hell he even does the whole Bakusquad’s because he doesn’t “want them to go to fucking jail for tax evasion”

- So imagine his surprise when in the mail he receives a letter from the tax agency because he overpaid his taxes

- Now of course it’s a matter of pride, Katsuki goes over his calculations again, sure he made no mistake

- He calls the tax agency to asure them he NEVER makes mistakes

- “Oh yes, I see here you got married a year ago congratulations! That means you get a tax discount, that’s why it appears you overpaid this year sir.” Says the costumer service agent

- “I’m not married! You guys fucked up.” Katsuki says vindicated in that he didn’t make any mistakes.

- “Your name is Katsuki Bakugou, right? I can see here your marriage certificate, and you indeed got married about a year ago”

- “I think I’d remember if I had a fucking wedding” katsuki said starting to get angry

- “…Sir, I can see in public records that on 17/07/XXXX you married Midoriya Izuku now Bakugou Izuku, if you had a divorce maybe it hasn’t gon-“

- “D-did you just say Midoriya Izuku?” Katsuki stuttered

- “…yes…?”

- Katsuki hangs up.

- He pulls up public records himself and sure enough there is his marriage certificate where Izuku took his last name (bc in Japan you can only keep one surname per couple)

- “Motherfucker.” Of course bullshit like this follows Katsuki when Deku is concerned.

- He runs to Izuku’s apartment taking it a step further and going through his mail

- “Bakugou Izuku, Bakugou Izuku, this fucking idiot…” Katsuki muses as he flips through the mail.

- “Dekuuuu!!!” Katsuki pounds on the apartment’s door roughly.

- “I’m coming, I’m coming!” Izuku’s voice is heard from inside. “Kacchan w-“

- “Apparently a year ago we got fucking married” Katsuki shows the marriage certificate on his phone to Deku

- “What?!”

- Katsuki explained everything. “…and just now I looked through your mail and it’s all addressed to Bakugou Izuku, how the fuck did you miss that for over a year?!”

- “Oh my god, so we’re legally married?!”

- “Somehow!!”

- “W-when did this even happen?!”

- They look at the date and try to figure out if someone forged their signatures

- They remember that day a big sting operation in Yumeshima island (the Vegas of Japan according to google lol) had just ended and a few of their friends were there, they had just missed Izuku’s 20th birthday because of the operation so they decided to celebrate there

- And everyone got really really drunk, both Izuku and Katsuki themselves blacked out

- “So we got married then?” Izuku asks

- “It appears so.” Katsuki said

- “How did we not know until now? I mean at least one of our friends has to have remembered.”

- Katsuki got angry “if one of those fuckers hid it from us I’m going to explode them.”

- They call Uraraka first; “Sorry Deku-kun! I can’t remember anything from that night either.” She apologized

- Then Kirishima; “What? Those weddings aren’t fake?! They had Michael Jackson officiating, that can’t be legal!!!”

- Todoroki; “Wait, so you guys aren’t together? I thought you just decided to get married, that’s why I bought you that blender you wanted Bakugou.”

- Shinsou; “oh yeah, I just thought it was the funniest shit ever. I even kept the original certificate.”

- “So you’ve been sitting on this for a year?!” Deku said.

- “Yeah,” Shinso confirmed. “I mean, I didn’t think you would take this long to realize, Midoriya, or should I say Bakugou?”

- “IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!” Katsuki bellowed at the phone.

- “Come on Bakugou, let’s not fight, I wouldn’t want to leave Izuku a widow”

- “MOTHERFU-“

- “Besides, just get a divorce, you haven’t been married long so you won’t have to legally separate your things or anything” as much things new heroes two years out of high school could have

- They decide to sort the legal shit on their next day off

- Or they would have if the news didn’t leak to the press just a day later

- ‘Pro hero Deku and Pro hero Dynamight MARRIED FOR OVER A YEAR?!’

- The PR of the agency begs them to stay married until it blows over

- “Izuku baby, why didn’t you tell me you got married to Katsuki-kun! You didn’t even invite me to your wedding!” Inko cries as Deku tries to console her

- “You fucking brat, you didn’t have the fucking decency to invite your own mother to your wedding to Izuku-kun, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?!”

- “Fuck you hag, this is exactly why I didn’t fucking invite you!” Katsuki replies

- The media starts getting suspicious because they don’t live together and don’t do PDA

- In an interview Bakugou panics and says they live apart because they are saving up for a house which everyone thinks is so cute

- PR makes them do a little PDA

- So slowly they settle into a relationship and just never divorce

-later, two years or so after they have a proper wedding and live happily ever after

Pt 1| pt 2 | pt 2.5| pt 3| pt 5 | pt 6 |

[seventhdoctor]

Trauma Team Artbook Character Bio Lore

...As gleaned from running artbook scans from 2014 through a sketchy machine translation in the year 2023. I won't post the exact translations for fear of mistranslations ending up reported as fact on wikis and so on, but here's the gist of what Google Translate yields.

CR-S01

Is named Erhard Muller, a fact that already made the rounds in the 2010s

His nationality is also listed as German, though he clearly spent most of his life in America

Most of his backstory isn't anything new compared to in the games, but the artbook does provide a timeline: adopted by Professor Sartre at age 9 after his parents died, enrolled in medical school at age 12 and hailed as the youngest ever to do so, age 13 when Rosalia was adopted, age 16 when the Cumberland Institute incident happened

Erhard and Rose weren't super close siblings, but got along well enough and they had happy lives until the bioterrorism attacked

The government 100% knew Erhard wasn't the culprit when they arrested him - he was the public scapegoat because they couldn't find Albert Sartre, their real person of interest. They never stopped looking for Sartre, and S01's work to reduce his sentence was a quiet compromise for the fact that they, y'know, ruined this kid's life

After learning the truth, S01 is disappointed at his father's betrayal but also chooses to take blame for Sartre's crimes and work off his sentence rather than expose Sartre as the true culprit

Not in-game lore, but according to the concept art section he was nicknamed Chris (CRS) during development. Other people will be funnier about this than I am

Maria Torres

Has the shortest bio and the least amount of new information along with Tomoe, honestly

Born in the slums

Was already at the orphanage at age 10 when Rosalia (age 3) came there

Ended up in rehab of some kind after the orphanage fire

Hank Freebird

Also doesn't have much new compared to the game, sadly

Joined the military out of a sense of justice, left out of disillusionment following John's death and used the medical knowledge he gained in the military to become an orthopedic surgeon (not that this wasn't already implied in the game)

His bio specifically calls him out for being kinda clumsy/goofy. Poor guy

Tomoe Tachibana

Honestly the only thing that's new is a bunch of names, so this is the one time I break my rule and cite a translation directly. TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, IT'S STILL A MACHINE TRANSLATION

The only daughter of the Tachibana Zaibatsu, a global organization run by a family descended from the leader of the Koga Shinobi Army, Hisayori Tachibana.

Gabriel Cunningham

Nationality is listed as Great Britain. Surprise!

His wife Lisa left him with Joshua and went to her parents' six years before the game because she didn't like his lifestyle

Lisa was willing to get back together if Gabe was ever willing to talk to her properly, but as seen in the game he kept his distance. He and Lisa met occasionally over the next six years, but he never saw Joshua - which is of course why Joshua never recognized him in the game

His decision to go through with the divorce was about acceptance of his failings and a desire to do right by Joshua and Lisa

Naomi Kimishima

NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH BACKSTORY

All right, so that bit in Second Opinion where she took a Savato sample after cutting ties with Delphi and used it to bargain amnesty with Caduceus [Europe in the US version; US in the JP version]? Yeah, apparently she transported that sample by CARRYING IT IN HER OWN BODY for Caduceus to extract

Her fatal condition is a result of that, though it's already implied to be a result of GUILT in the game anyway. It was a sudden development a few years later, followed by Derek's six-month diagnosis

There's also details about her illness! Apparently her specific brand of PGS or whatever involves excess serotonin and dopamine production, which she needs meds to regulate.

It also means she's no longer able to operate on the living, which is why she transitions to forensic medicine as part of her plea deal

[Insert grimace here] I don't want to get too into this because this bit because 1) machine translation fears, 2) even perfectly translated it's not likely to be accurate to actual philosophy/terminology anyway, 3) I'm not a doctor I don't know what I'm talking about…

But the bio then starts talking about pranayama and prana, defining prana as life essence and...saying Naomi lacks it because of her condition and its effect on serotonin? I'm not entirely clear on this and I'm hesitant to say anything for sure; the main thing is that they take her illness and use the concept of prana to connect that to...

Her new ability to hear the dead! Apparently Naomi reads the prana left behind in a corpse and translates it into the person's final words via her phone; the worse the damage to the corpse (e.g., skeletonization), the less prana remains and the weaker the voice she hears is

Whether any of this relates to the Healing Touch is not mentioned. IDK man

Technically this was in S01's bio, but it relates more to Naomi: Jacob Tillman originally wanted Naomi to perform his surgery and keep it secret. Naomi was already unable to perform surgery on living people at that point, though, so S01 was Plan B

Rosalia Rossellini

Admired her big brother Erhard :(

Albert Sartre

Adopted Rosalia to study the virus in her blood (that is, he already knew about it by the time he adopted her in case that's ever a timeline question)

Additional Note

If someone with actual knowledge of Japanese corrects me and anything I've written in here, absolutely believe them over me. I'm not the translation hero anyone still in this fandom in the year 2k23 deserves, I'm just the stopgap until maybe one arrives someday.

[traegorn]

Seriously why do you entertain zionist perspectives? Why dont you treat them like terfs like they should be?

Okay, I suspected there was a second one of you since the grammar got better -- but maybe I'm wrong, blocked the wrong person, and you're just one person.

Don't care.

This is what my inbox has looked like. This is the constant barrage of asks I've been getting, and this is just a sample. There's more. I'll put it under the cut because shit is going to get LONG.

And if we recall, all I have ever said was: Lilith is a figure from Jewish folklore, and as many Jewish people have said she is closed, non-Jewish witches probably shouldn't work with her. If you choose to, I think you're being an asshole.

Somehow... SOMEHOW that makes me antisemitic according to this weirdo? And now apparently it makes me a supporter of the Israeli government? I genuinely don't know how we got here.

I've redacted the names of folks who are supposedly "Zionists" in the messages, because I've literally found zero evidence on any of their blogs to support this. They all appear to be Jewish, but that isn't the same fucking thing.

Mind you, I shouldn't have to look because I hadn't even heard of most of them. One of them interacted with a post of mine, but... like... you get that I have thousands of followers, right? I don't research them. I don't look them up. I have a job and a life.

I think we're missing something more important though.

What is your goal here? Is your goal to try to change my mind? Is it to get me to agree with you? Because you'd have to be as dumb as a pile of broken doorknobs to think this was an effective strategy to change anyone's mind. Constant harassment does not ever achieve that.

If your goal is to just bully me off of social media, that isn't going to work either. You don't know me that well if you ever thought that would work. Even a surface googling of me would tell you that I spent seven years fighting a lawsuit (and winning) that someone tried to use to silence me online.

But then there's the stuff I don't talk about.

I have had a man who lives thirty minutes away from me threaten to come to my home and shoot me with a shotgun because I wrote an article exposing his brother as a convicted child molester working conventions. I have had a man who literally lives three blocks from me threaten to beat me to death in a nearby park I regularly walk through because he (erroneously) thought I stole a blue lives matter flag from a local restaurant.

You want to sell me on any of this? You want me to believe you're anything but a liar willing to say whatever they can think of to insult me? Bring receipts. Bring evidence. Bring proof. You want to accuse [random tumblr user] of something? Show me. Show me what they've done and/or said. Build an argument.

Because at no point has anyone done that. At no point has anyone built an actual, credible argument for any of this bullshit. All that seems to happen is that if someone doesn't agree with you, you call them antisemitic (or I guess now a Zionist).

I'm done with you, coward.

[overlyimmersed]

🎁🎉🎂Happy Birthday Harlequin!🎂🎉🎁

Last year I designed an outfit for him, and I intend to do that this year as well, but since it took me till the 27th to finish Elaine's(her birthdays was the 15th) I'm not super confident that I'll have that finished on time. If I do, you're probably looking at that right now, but if not! Then at least this will be out on time.

Well that didn't work... My sleep schedual betrayed me and I didn't even get this posted on time... I meant to take a nap. I set 3 alarms. Did not work. Slept for 15 hours...

Anyway, this year, along side the outfit design, I'll also be doing an analysis that I've been wanting to do for quite a long while.

A name analysis!

Most of the characters in The Seven Deadly Sins -at least the important ones- have names relating to Arthurian myth, as the story is kind a based in it. But this, oddly enough, doesn't apply to almost any of the Fairies, even Harlequin -AKA "King"- despite him being one of the titular characters.

Meliodas and Ban are the fathers of two of Arthur's knight, Tristian and Lancelot respectively, Merlin is Merlin, iirc there are two different Escanors depending on the story, and Gowther is...apparently Merlin's half-brother according a glance at google... Diane's namesake is a little harder to track down, but she's not directly Arthurian either from what I can gather. As far as I know the only Fairy who does align with Arthurian myth is Elaine, but the Elaine that's Ban's wife is not the only Elaine you'll find in Arthurian stories, it was a common name.

Anyway

Most people know the word "harlequin". Simply put it's a french clown.

-Oh and apparently also a duck XD

BUT

Not everyone who knows that, knows where the word comes from, or what the king of the Fairies would have it for a name.

The origin of the word is actually a lot older than the french clown concept and isn't actually french all the way back. here's what Google has to say;

"late 16th century: from obsolete French, from earlier Herlequin (or Hellequin ), the name of the leader of a legendary troop of demon horsemen; perhaps ultimately related to Old English Herla cyning ‘King Herla’, a mythical figure sometimes identified with Woden."

I actually learned this from a youtube video some years back, by Overly Sarcastic Productions. It's a Halloween episode discussing the concept of the "Wild Hunt". I highly recommend the video and the channel as a whole, they're really great, very funny and you learn a lot. The video is a little under 17 minutes long, though, so if you're only interested in the part relevant this analysis jump to 11:05 in the video.

For anyone who doesn't want to watch that and would rather read me summerize it, in the video it's explained that the Scandinavian version of the Wild Hunt is called "Odin's Hunt" but in Old English it's called "Herlaþing" which means "Herla's Assembly". Herla being a King of the Britons who makes a deal with a dwarf where the two attend each other's weddings. The dwarf is a perfect guest at Herla's wedding and the following year Herla goes to the dwarf kingdom to return the favor. When he leaves the dwarf gives him a hunting dog and warns him not to get off his horse till the dog does. When they get back the dog doesn't get off the horse, Herla asks a random person they pass how his wife is doing only to find out that 3 days in dwarfland = 300 years in humanland. Some of his men are shocked and get off their horses, only to age to dust when they touch the ground, so Herla is stuck riding his horse for eternity.

The concept of an eternal wander was popular and in the 11th century a french monk/chronicler used the phrase "Familia Herlequin" to describe a host of demons pursuing a monk, lead by a masked giant. This masked hunt leader would evolve into the character we now know as a "harlequin", a trickster character is french passion plays.

God, king and trickster presented as a fool, that actually kinda tracks, doesn't it?

And that, is why the king of the Fairies is named Harlequin.

[kataraavatara]

WIP Wednesday- Those the Stars Cannot Hear

for all ten people reading my fic, here is an excerpt from chapter 2:

“I went to the trouble of getting actual wood for you, you know. You could at least speak to me.” At Nesta’s perplexed look, she added, “Ah, right. You’re from the Above World. Down here, we’re encased in a mountain and perpetual darkness. Not exactly the ideal environment for trees to grow. Wood is precious. If you were with someone who was poorer or didn’t care about making a good impression for you, they would be burning peat, moss, or dung right now. I would like you to know I’m trying to put my best foot forward here. Do you have an aversion to fire?”

After a moment, Nesta nodded. She didn’t tell Anu why, but the mere fact that she had noticed made something inside her stir, happy to be recognized, to be seen. At Solstice, they had a roaring fire and not one person had noticed her flinch. Cassian had lit a fire every night on the hike and had never wondered why she slept so far away from it, why she covered her ears.

Anu sipped her tea. “Ah.” She signaled servants who quickly put out the fire, shrouding the room in darkness and smoke, the only light source being the pale blue fae lights mounted on the walls. She politely fanned away the smoke from the newly extinguished hearth, silently handing Nesta an embellished fan that was a twin to her own. The soft whoosh of their combined fans waving filled the silence for a few moments before Anu asked, “Why are you here, Nesta Archeron?”

we meet my oc Anu, my exploration of Mor mentioning she has cousins trapped in loveless and brutal marriages and then like. glossing over it. Anu is an Irish goddess name related to Morrigan, and Mag Aedha is (apparently according to google) an ancient Celtic surname.

[starchaseriseverything]

James has just arrived at the address he was given to babysit. According to Google Maps, the house is called Grimmauld place.

A woman answers the door a few minutes after James knocks. She has long, black, unruly hair. She looks frantic. "Hi, hi, sorry. It's a little crazy in here. I'm Bellatrix Black-Lestrange. Nice to meet you."

"James Potter."

"Right, Sirius told me about you." James makes a confused look. "The one who hired you, his name is Sirius."

"Like the star?"

"Yeah. I'm surprised someone knows that."

"I've always been fascinated with the stars. You're named after one, too."

"Yeah, I am. Most of my family is."

Fleamont - James' dad - taught James all about the stars when he was four. He was always fascinated with them since he was born. He thought they looked like the little specks of paint that Euphemia - James' mother - drew.

"Anyway, come inside, it's cold."

As soon as James walked inside, he was hit with a water balloon. "Ted Remus Lupin!" A man with the same long, black hair just more tamed yells. "I'm so sorry. My son is a prankster. Anyway, I'm Sirius Black-Lupin." Sirius looks James over. "Hey, Reg! Can you get a towel!"

Another woman walks up with long, white, and black hair. "What happened, Siri?" She looks over at James. "Oh, hello. I'm Narcissa Black-Malfoy. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

A boy comes up to hug her leg. She smiles. "This is my son, Draco."

"Another star. You really meant it when you said most of your family."

"Yeah." Bellatrix says. "It's crazy and hectic." A man with short black hair walks up with a towel in hand. "Finally, Reg. Took forever."

"Shut up, Bells. At least I can't get pregnant."

"Why is that your insult?"

"Who would want a second kid? Apparently, you."

"Whatever." She takes the towel from the man and hands it to James. "Sorry, that's Regulus Black." The man - Regulus - leaves.

"Reg! Are you coming with us!?" Someone from the other room yells while James drys himself with the towel.

"No!" Regulus answers. "And take B and Ev with you! Their sickening!"

Yet, another woman comes in with a girl and a man trailing behind her. She has - thankfully - tamed, brunette hair. "I'm Andromeda Black-Tonks. This is my husband, Ted Tonks. And my daughter, Nymphadora Tonks."

"Nice to meet you."

"You, too."

Two more men come in. "Rodolphus Lestrange."

"Lucius Malfoy."

"James Potter."

Three men and two women come in. The first woman that has red hair speaks up. "I'm Lily Evans-Rosier."

"The Lily Evans? The one that Marlene keeps talking about?"

"You know her?"

"Know her? She's my best friend."

"Anyway," The dark skinned girl with blonde highlights says, "I'm Pandora Rosier. This is my twin," she gestures to a dark skinned boy, "Evan Rosier."

"And this is my boyfriend, Barty Crouch." Evan gestures to a boy with blonde tips.

"Sup."

"I'm Remus Lupin. Kids! Come here!" Four kids come running in. "Teddy Lupin, Draco Malfoy, Nymphadora Tonks, Harry Rosier, Luna Rosier, and Tom Riddle Jr." Remus gives an apologetic looks. "I'm sorry there's so many, but we need a break."

Bellatrix speaks. "Regulus is upstairs if you need anything. It's.... three so, we'll be back around.... ten?" Everyone nods. "Ten. Is that ok?"

"Yeah. Of course it is. I babysit Aries and Artemis for 2 days and their.... monsters?"

Lily smiles. "Fair enough. Anyway, instructions are on the fridge. If you need any help, feel free to ask anyone, yeah?"

Everyone says goodbye, and now it's James and the kids. "So, have any toys?"

Luna squeals. "I'm gonna like you."

James smiles. "Well, I hope so."

***

"Hey! That's cheating!" Harry yells.

"Nuh uh." Luna says.

"Yes, it is."

"Nuh uh."

James sighs. "Alright, who wants to go to the park?"

"Yeah!" Everyone yells.

***

James has finally riled up the kids at six and is now finally in the house at six-thirty.

Seven rolls around, and the kids have been fed.

Eight rolls around, and it's time for bed.

"I wanna say goodnight to Uncle Reggie." Luna pouts. "I do it every night."

James sighs. "Alright. Go say goodnight."

"Yay!" Luna grabs James' hand and starts running down the hall to what James assumes is Regulus' room. Luna stops in front of a door and knocks. The door opens, and Regulus appears with messy hair, pajama pants, and no shirt.

Fucking hell.

"Uncle Reggie!" Regulus looks down and picks up Luna. "You forgot to come say goodnight."

Regulus smiles. "I did? I'm sorry. I won't do it again." He gives Luna a kiss on the temple and sets her back down. "Alright, bedtime." Regulus leads Luna to her room and tucks her in.

"Goodnight, Uncle Reggie. Goodnight, James."

***

James decided to sit down and scroll through TikTok on his phone. Apparently it's been an hour because next thing he knew Regulus was walking down the stairs and he looked at the clock.

9:00

James goes back to his phone for another ten minutes before Regulus comes into the room. He stands right in front of James - which he didn't even realize either - and speaks, "Have you eaten anything?"

James jumps. "A little warning next time would be nice. Also, no."

"You should eat something."

James eyes him. "You're one to talk. You didn't even come down for dinner."

Regulus rolls his eyes. "I don't like eating with the kids. And anyway, I'm heating up food right now."

"Ok, good." He pauses and waits for Regulus to leave. He doesn't. "Is that all you wanted?"

"Mm. No, actually. I think you're cute." He walks away and leaves James flabbergasted.

Unfortunately, Regulus goes back upstairs with his food and doesn't come back down. Not even when James leaves. Luckily, James has sticky notes in his bag. He grabs his bag and excuses himself to use the restroom. He grabs a bright yellow sticky note and a pen and writes, 'I think you're cute, too' and sticks it to Regulus' door - he remembers from when Luna wanted to say goodnight.

***

"Artemis, no! Aries, stop! You little -" James' phone rings.

Sirius Black

"Hello - Aries, Artemis! I'm going to call your mother! Better yet, I'll call your mama!"

"No, no! We'll stop!"

"Thank you, now be quiet."

"Yes, Uncle Jamie."

"Sorry about that. What's the problem?"

"We need someone to babysit again, and Reg won't do it. Plus, they seem to like you." It's been two weeks since he last babysat them - for the first time. "Please." He begs. "If you need any help, Reg is here."

"I'm sorry, Sirius." Sirius told him to call him that. "I'm already babysitting my niece and nephew."

"You can bring 'em! We don't care. As long as you come, please."

James sighs. "Alright, I can take them anywhere I want, anyway."

"Thank you."

"Ar, Art, who wants to go play with other kids?"

"Yay!"

***

"Alright, I'm going to need you to be good, ok?"

"Yes, Uncle Jamie." Aries says.

James knocks on the door, and Pandora opens it with Luna and Harry beside her. "Sorry, their being clingy."

"James!" They both yell.

"Hey!" Artemis yells. "That's our Uncle Jamie!"

Pandora has a panicked look on her face. "Oh god. You already have a babysitting gig? Are you supposed to take them out?" She wispers the last part.

"I'm their Uncle. I can do whatever I want, and Marls won't care. Have you not met them?"

"No, should I have?"

"Not necessarily. Ar, Art, you guys have met Lily, your mama' friend, right?"

"Yeah, she's nice. We call her Aunt Lily." Artemis says.

"This is her wife, Pandora."

"Really?" Aries asks. "She looks pretty. Way prettier than you, Uncle Jamie."

James smiles. "Wow, thanks."

"Well, it is true," Artemis agrees. "Uncle Jamie."

"Fair."

"Anyway, come inside. It's cold out there."

Hmm. James thinks. Less chaos.

Apparently, Pandora knows what he's thinking because she says, "Remus is giving them a talk."

"Hey, Uncle Jamie." Aries says. "How many kids we talkin'?"

"Six and counting."

"Wow! Uncle Jamie, you hit the jackpot."

"I don't wanna." Artemis says. "Uncle Jamie, can we go?"

James squats down to her level. "Come on, you don't have that many friends. You need to make more. Your mama and I had so many friends by your age."

Artemis groans. "But I'm not like Mama."

"I know, you're more like your mom."

A voice comes from the doorway. "Aren't they the same people?" Regulus.

"No, their not. They have two moms."

"Do we have to? Can't you just drop me off with Mom or Mama?"

James sighs. "Marlene is working her hotel, and Dorcas can't have any distractions when she's painting. So, no. I'm sorry, babes."

Artemis sighs. "It's fine."

"Come on, sis. It'll be fun."

"For you, maybe. You're better at making friends."

"You know," James starts, "you remind me of one of my friends."

"Who?"

"Peter. He couldn't make friends very well until I walked up to him. After that, he made friends quite easily."

"Really? You really think I'm just like Uncle Peter?"

James nods. "Absolutely. You just need a little push by your brother. Aries? Help your sister, ok?"

Aries salutes him. "Yes, Uncle Jamie, sir." James rolls his eyes, and Aries laughs. "Of course, Uncle Jamie. I always will."

James gets back up. "Ok, so, here's two of kids. Luna and Harry. Their siblings just like you but their twins."

"You mean just like Aunt Lily talks about her friends who are twins."

James smiles. "You've already met one of them. Pandora is one of them."

They both gasp. "Really!? Two twins in one day!? Best day ever!" Aries yells.

Andromeda comes in. "What's all the yelling for?"

"Sorry, they were excited. Aries, Artemis, remember."

"We know. We're sorry."

"See. Good kids when they want to be."

"You're kids?"

"No. I've been single for years now. I think I'm probably gonna stay that way at this rate. Anyway, these are my best friends' kids."

"Uncle Jamie!" Aries yells. "Look, they both have blonde hair - really blonde."

"Yeah."

"You have a sibling?"

"No, none. Marls and Cas just like to let their kids talk freely. So they decide to call all of our friends Aunt and Uncle."

"That's pretty nice, actually."

Artemis walks over to James. "Jamie, bag."

"Magic words."

"Uncle Jamie, could I please have your bag so we can play?"

"Better." He hands her the bag that has all kinds of toys and coloring books he put together the first day he started this business. Aries and Artemis helped, of course. They run off into the other room somewhere.

"You're really good with them." Regulus says.

"I was there the day they were born. Through everything. I was waiting outside with the rest of my friends' kids. But I was still there."

"You'd be a good father someday."

James smiles as soon as Evan and Barty come in. "Who's kids are those?" Evan spots James. "You have kids?"

"No, those are my best friends' kids. You know what, it'd be easier if I said yes. I might start doing that." James peeks his head into the other room. "Hey, Ar, Art," they look up at him, "how 'bout, I just start tell people you're my kids?"

"Wouldn't be much of a lie anyway."

"As long as Mama and Mom are still our moms."

"Deal."

"Why did they say 'it wouldn't be much of a lie'?" Barty asks.

"I was both of their sperm donors, but they came out looking like both Marlene and Dorcas. Hey, Lily' here, right?"

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen."

"Great, I'll be back." James walks in the kitchen and sees Lily cooking. "Hey, Lils."

"James. You remember, don't you?"

"Yeah, sadly. But I got better."

"Not much, I see." James' eyebrows fly up. "I can see the scars on your wrists." Lily sighs. "It's been years, Jamie. Why can't you stop?"

"Because they were my whole life, Lils! You know that. And this whole thing is what made you disregard me from your life."

"You can say it, James. I broke up with you."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." James sighs. "I got better than I was before, though. When Artemis was born, I stopped doing it all over and just on my wrists." James closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in and out. He opens them again. "I'm sorry, Lils. I'm sorry I can't get over my parents' death. But I'm not sorry that we broke up and you found someone better. She's good for you, and I'm happy just seeing you happy."

Lily smiles. "Thank you, Jamie." They hug.

"You know, you could have told me they call you Aunt Lily." They break apart.

"Who?"

"Aries and Artemis. They told me a few minutes ago."

"You got here a few minutes ago - oh - they're here?" James nods. Lily - and James - runs past everyone - who is now where James left only four people - and into the sitting room. "Aries, Artemis!"

"Aunt Lily!" They both yell and rush up to her.

"Aunt Lily?" The other kids murmur.

Lily smiles and pulls apart from them. "Jamie will tell you why they call me that. Alright, you two, I'm going out with my family, and I need you two to watch over your Uncle and these other kids. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Lily gets up and walks to the door - James following close behind.

"Um, Lils, you can't leave me with explaining that."

"Sure I can. I'm doing it right now."

"Ok," Bellatrix says, "anyway, the instructions are on the fridge. If you need anything, Reg is upstairs."

"Bye, Jamie, love you."

Love you, too." Pandora makes a confused look while James ushers them out. He smiles at Lily. "You make me explain, I make you explain."

"James." Lily warns. "I'll get you for this."

James just smiles in return. When they were all outside, James says, "Lily and I dated," and closes the door. James could hear yelling coming from the other side as they walked farther down the sidewalk.

James turned around and saw Regulus wide-eyed. "You - you dated Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Uncle Jamie!" Artemis yells. "I wanna call Mama! I want to tell her I made friends!"

James walks into the room. "Sure, come here, Mis." Artemis walks up to James and plops herself down on his lap. James grabs his phone and dials Marlene.

"James? What's wrong? Are they hurt?"

"Their fine, Marls. Mis just wants to tell you something."

James hears a sigh over the phone. "What is it, babes?"

"I made friends!"

"How - you - James, where are you?"

"Babysitting."

"Mama, we saw Aunt Lily."

"James, you can't babysit that many kids."

"I just added two more. Plus, when we're not at home, they behave."

"You know their terrors, James. You can't do that by yourself. I'll be there to help in a little bit."

"No, Marls. You need to stay at the hotel. You have a job to do. So do I. And this is mine. I'll be fine. And if I need any help, I'll call Pete, or Frank, or Alice, or even Mary." James hears Marlene sigh.

"Alright, but if anything happens, you call me no one else until I say so, got it?"

"Yeah, Marls, sure. I love you."

"I love you, too. I love you, Artemis, Aries!" She yells the last bit so her son can hear her.

"I love you, too, Mama!" They both yell. James hangs up.

"Artemis, go play."

"Ok." She gets off of James' lap and runs up to her brother and their new found friends.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"You and Lily."

"Why would I? We're not friends."

Regulus raises an eyebrow. "The sticky note you left says otherwise."

James avoids Regulus' gaze. "I have no idea what you're talking about." James hears footsteps coming closer, and Regulus comes into view.

He leans down and tilts James' head upwards. "Are you sure?" He wispers.

James nods.

Regulus grip tightens. "And you're so sure that if I show you proof, you will still deny it?"

James' eyes wonder down to Regulus' lips for 2 seconds, and then go back to his eyes. He nods again.

Regulus' hand disappears from James' chin. "Well, then, come on." Regulus holds out his hand, and James takes it.

Regulus leads James up the stairs before James speaks, "I shouldn't leave the kids."

"They'll be fine." Regulus leads James to the end of the first hall - which he didn't realize last time - where Regulus' room is.

There are three halls - as far as James knows. One for the girls, one for the boys, and the third one for the parents (and Regulus).

"Your house is a little bigger than mine."

"A little? I'm assuming - comparing to yours - it's a mansion."

"My mum always liked to build more and more rooms, so yeah, a little bigger." Regulus opens his door to his bedroom, and James is in awe.

James sees pictures of the Black', Regulus and his friends, and a picture of six people he doesn't recognize, standing with the Black'. James walks up to the photo and takes a quick once over.

The two beside Sirius and Regulus are their parents. The two beside Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Narcissa are their parents. And the last two standing beside Pandora and Evan are their parents.

"These are your parents? You look just like them."

"No, we don't."

"What are their names?" Regulus eyes him. "Just curious."

"If I tell you, will you let it be?"

"Yes."

"Pandora and Evan' parents are Adele Jacob - Rosier and Axel Rosier. Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Narcissa' parents are Cygnus Black and Druella Rosier - Black. And Sirius and I' are Walburga Irma - Black and Orion Black."

James' eyes go wide. Walburga Irma, as in Mum' ex- girlfriend!?"

"What?"

"Euphemia Braithewaite."

"What about her?"

"She's my mum."

"Really? My mum - a cold, heartless, bitch - dated your mum - the sweetest person alive?"

"How did you know she was so nice?"

"With how you turned out, both your parents had to be nice."

"Fair."

Regulus goes to his nightstand and pulls out a bright yellow sticky note - the one he left. "You kept it?"

"Yeah. I did."

***

"Kids, time for bed."

"But Uncle Jamie."

"No, none of that, Aries. Come up here on the couch, both of you." They do, and they immediately fall asleep.

"The rest of you, time for bed."

The final one for the night is Luna. And she always has to go to Regulus. They knock on the door, he opens it, and picks up Luna. "Hey, ma filleule."

James almost passes out from the use of French.

He doesn't know why, but French coming from Regulus' mouth, is heaven. And he's heard people speak French before but coming from Regulus, that's something he can't stand.

"Goodnight, Luns." Regulus puts Luna back on the ground.

"Come on, hermosa chica." She takes James' hand and leads them to her room. He tucks Luna in and she falls asleep almost immediately.

"You're good with kids."

James jumps. "Jesus, Regulus. You scared me."

"You can't speak Spanish and not expect anything to happen."

"Oh, you mean this? Eres tan hermoso y guapo. Quizás no pueda quitarte las manos de encima por mucho tiempo."

Regulus groans. "No, stop."

"Vale, está bien, Regulus. Adiós."

***

The door opens, and everyone comes in. "Thank you so much for watching the kids." Bellatrix says. "Even though you were already watching some. It means so much to us. Thank you."

"It was no big deal. All of them are not as much work as these two alone." James looks down in his lap where Aries and Artemis are laying. "Aries, Artemis, come on. Get up."

They run to the other side of the room to grab James' bag and run back to James while James grabs his phone.

Cas

Bringing the kids home. See you soon.

Thanks, Jamie. I love you.

I love you, too.

"Alright, Cas should have your food ready by the time we get home." James walks to the door, looks up at the stairs where Regulus is watching him, and yells out, "Fairwell, Black's and Rosier's. Goodnight!" And he walks out with Aries and Artemis only looking back once at Regulus' window where he's watching James walk down the sidewalk and to his car.

***

"Thank you, Uncle Jamie!" They both say. "We love you!"

"I love you, too!" James yells back from the car.

Just as James was about to leave, Marlene' car pulls up, and she gets out. "James Fleamont Potter! Quit cutting yourself!"

"What?" James asks, surprised as Marlene leans in the window.

"Lily called me. She said she saw your cuts."

"That little -"

"No, don't blame her. This is all you. I thought you said you got better when Artemis was born?"

"I did, sort of. I mean, I started only doing it in one place."

"Your wrists." Marlene closes her eyes and takes a deep breath - a little habit Marlene picked up from James, which he picked up from Effie. "James, you can't keep doing this to yourself. It's been five years since Mis was born. Ten since Effie and Monty died. You need to stop. It's not healthy."

James sighs. "I can't, Marls. You know how I feel."

"I do, James. I really do. But you can't keep beating yourself up about it. It wasn't your fault."

"If I was there! If I was there, I could have gotten them out in time. Instead I decided to ignore them over a stupid fucking fight." James starts to tear up. "The last thing I ever said to them was, 'I hate you. I wish you would die.' That's the very last thing, Marls. How could I 'get over it'? It's my fault. If I was there, they wouldn't have gone after me."

"It was the drunk driver, James. It wasn't you. I promise." Marlene opens James' door. "Come on. Stay with us tonight. Please? I'll make sure no one bothers you."

James scoffs. "But you."

Marlene smiles. "That's only because you're my best friend, and I care about you." James sighs and gets out of the car with his wallet, phone and keys. Marlene locks it and leads them inside. "The world would be a dark place without you, Jamie. You're our sun, and everyone knows it. Even Aries and Artemis. They'd miss you too much."

***

Al

Jamie, Frank, and I want to go out. Do you think you could watch Neville?

Think I can? I'm a god! (At babysitting, of course) Yes, yes, I will.

Number

Hey, James. I got this number off of Sirius' phone.

Hey, Regulus.

How did you know?

😒

Right, nvm. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out?

Hang out, really? After everything?

Ok, I'm sorry. I'm not really good at asking people out.

So, you want to go on a date?

Yes.

Great! When?

Now?

I can't. Babysitting.

Who?

One of my friends' kid, Neville Longbottom. Alice has been my friend since school years, so I'd do almost anything for her.

Almost?

The rest I'd do for Marlene.

Fair. Um. What if I come with you? To the babysitting gig, that is.

I mean, if you want. Where do you want to meet?

Come pick me up at my house?

Yeah, I'll be there in 10.

"Hey, Marls. I got a gig."

"Who?"

"Alice and Frank."

"Frank...."

"Longbottom. You know, the dude that Al married?"

"Oh! Franky! Yeah, got it."

"Hey, who's watching the kids if we all have work?"

"You. It'll be only three kids this time. You'll be fine."

"Yeah, about that. Someone is.... tagging along."

"Tagging?" Marlene gasps. "You mean like a date? Like someone who wants to help you work, kinda date?"

"I guess."

"Who?"

"Not telling. At least, not yet, ok?"

Marlene sighs. "Fine. Meany." She mumbles the last bit under her breath, but James still heard her and smacked her up the top of her head.

***

James pulls up to the front of Regulus' house and pulls out his phone.

Regulus

I'm here.

Come inside real quick.

I can't. I have Aries and Artemis. Sorry.

It's ok.

I get it if you don't want to come.

No, I do. I'll be out in a minute.

"Ok, you two have to be on your best behavior. Play with Neville, I don't care. Just don't be brats. Ok?"

"Yes, Uncle Jamie. We promise."

"Good."

James sees Regulus open the door and walk down the sidewalk. "Hey." Regulus says when he opens the car door.

James digs around in his bag and pulls out two figets. "Ar, Mis, here's you figets."

"Yay!" Aries yells. "Thank you, Uncle Jamie."

"Can we go see Aunt Alice now?"

"Yes."

James turns the car back on and starts driving to Alice' house. She's only ten minutes away from the Black'.

"Uncle Jamie, can we play music?" Artemis asks.

"Yeah, here." He grabs his phone and reaches behind his seat where Artemis is. She takes it.

Their favorite artist is Sarah Maddack, and that's exactly what starts playing - the Coffee Shop Bop.

I hoped into a coffee shop

And then my jaw dropped in shock when

I saw a girl who had cool pants

They made me want to dance

"What kind of music is this?" Regulus asks.

"It's their favorite artist." James answers. "Sarah Maddack."

"Still doesn't answer my question."

"It's the only answer I got."

By the time they get to Alice' house, that Playlist has run through at least three times. James knocks on his friends door with Aries and Artemis in front of him and Regulus beside him. Frank answers. "Hey, James. Alice is upstairs with Neville."

James gives the bag to Aries, and they both run inside. He smiles. "Sorry, you know how they are."

"I do." He looks over to Regulus. "Who's this?"

"Regulus Black."

"Nice to meet you."

"You, too."

Frank steps aside and gestures for them to come in. James can hear Aries and Artemis in the other room. Alice comes down the stairs with Neville on her hip. She's wearing a long black dress with sequins. It has one strap on the right side and a leg slit. "Al, I think I could date you."

Frank raises his eyebrows. Alice rolls her eyes. "You probably would if you weren't gay."

"True. I mean, when I saw Frank, I just knew." She rolls her eyes again.

"Take your nephew."

"Gladly." Alice hands Neville over to James.

"Uncle Jamie! You're here!"

"Yeah, so are Aries and Artemis." Neville gasps while James puts him down, and he runs to the other room. "So, Al, I didn't have time to take a shower this morning with Cas and Marls."

"You'll do it either way."

"Sure as hell I will."

Alice sighs. "Fine."

"I love you, Al."

"I love you, too, Jamie. Goodbye."

"Adiós, mi amor!" James yells before Alice shuts the door. James laughs. He walks to the other room, Regulus trailing behind him. "Alright, I'm going to take a shower. Reg, are you good for a few minutes?"

James looks at Regulus, and he's blushing. He didn't even realize he called him Reg. James smirks. "Reg? Reggie?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine."

James walks over to Artemis. "You think you could all stay in here for ten minutes? Regulus and I have something to do." She nods. "Thank you, babes."

James walks over and grabs Regulus' hand, dragging him up the stairs. "James, they can't be unattended."

"They'll be fine." He walks into Alice and Frank' room and into the bathroom. When the door is shut and locked, he pins Regulus to the door. "Did you like that? Reg."

He blushes again. "Stop that."

"I don't think I will." He kisses Regulus' cheek, then the other one, then is chin, then finally his lips. He kisses back.

Regulus pushes James back to the toilet - luckily, Alice always insists on closing it - breaking the kiss in the process. He straddles him and starts kissing James again.

James breaks the kiss. "Reg, I need to take a shower."

Regulus groans. "No."

"Yes. Come on, Reg. Please?"

He groans again. "Fine." He gets up, kisses James again, then leaves.

***

Alice stumbles in the door with Frank behind her. "Jesus, Al." James says. "What did you two do?"

"Bar."

James walks over to his friend and helps her get up the stairs. He lays her down on her bed and tucks her in. She falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

He goes back downstairs to see Frank and Regulus talking while Aries, Artemis, and Neville are playing. "Nev, bedtime."

"But, Uncle Jamie."

"No, it's bedtime."

"Fine." James walks over to the three and picks Neville up and does the same he did for Alice except Neville wanted a bedtime story - Goodnight Moon. Neville is passed out before James even finishes the book.

He goes back downstairs, and Aries and Artemis are asleep on Regulus. Aries on one side with his head on Regulus' leg and Artemis on the other side with her head on Regulus' other leg.

Frank must have gone upstairs at some point because he's nowhere in sight.

James smiles. "You look cute like that." Regulus looks up.

"Really? Do you think I'd be a good dad?"

James hums. "Yeah, I do." James walks over to them and picks up Artemis. She stirs a little but goes right back to sleep. He does the same thing with Aries, and he also goes back to sleep. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Can you grab my bag." James looks around. He spots it at the corner of the room. "It's over there." He nudges his head in that direction.

"Sure."

Thankfully, Aries or Artemis don't wake up when James puts them in their car seats. Neither do they wake up when he gets them back out of the car seats and into their beds.

"Ah, fuck. I forgot Marlene and Dorcas aren't going to be home for a few hours. Do you think you could stay for a little while?"

"Yeah, sure. What do you have in mind?"

"We could watch a movie or something."

Regulus humms. "That sounds nice."

So, they did, in fact, watch movies, eat some snacks, and maybe some other little things - that couldn't go far because of Artemis and Aries - until Marlene and Dorcas came home.

James hears the door open, signaling that Marlene and Dorcas are home. "Hey, Jamie!" Marlene yells. How'd your so-called date go!?"

"It's going pretty well." James hears footsteps, and Marlene comes into view.

She smiles. "Babe! Jamie brought a boy!"

James hears more footsteps, and Dorcas comes into view. "He did what?"

James gets up with Regulus behind him. "Kids are in bed. We'll be going now."

"No," Marlene says, "you can't do that."

"Yes, I can. I'm going back to my apartment and you can't do anything about it."

Marlene smiles and twists her foot a little. "Ow! Jamie, I twisted my ankle."

"Your wife is right there. Right, Cas?"

"Mmm. I don't know, Jamie. I don't think I can carry her."

James sighs. "You two are assholes and you're lucky I love you." Marlene climbs on James' back. "Cas, don't do anything."

"Definitely won't."

"Don't!" James yells as he starts walking. When he gets to the stairs, he drops Marlene on her feet. "Alright, be a nice little, Marlene, and tell me what you're up to."

"No, I don't think I will."

"Marls."

"Dorcas is having a little chat."

"Marlene Elizabeth McKinnon! You are a little cunt!" James walks back to where he left Regulus and Dorcas. They're not there.

"Dorcas Eileen Meadows!"

"James Fleamont Potter!" Dorcas' sarcastic voice comes from the kitchen. James storms in there with Marlene right behind. Regulus nowhere in sight.

James points at Dorcas. "Your a fucking cunt just like your wife. I hope your kids don't turn out like either of you."

"Who else would they turn out like, dipshit?"

"Oh, I don't know, Marls. Maybe their sperm donor, me."

"Why would they turn out like you?"

"Because I'm always here!"

"Because you don't know how to take care of yourself! Cas, have you seen his wrists lately? Lily told me."

"Lily has no fucking say! She left me when things got too hard!"

"James, that was ten years ago. When Effie and Monty died."

"They were my parents, Marls! How could I be normal?"

"It's been ten years!"

"And it feels like ten seconds! Marls, they were my whole life."

"I know that, Jamie. They were my parents, too."

"You had parents! And they were mine."

"Jamie, you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"Why the fuck not!? I don't belong here!"

"Yes, you do! Your our sunshine, Jamie. We'd all be in darkness if something happened to you."

Dorcas cuts in. "Aries and Artemis would never be happy again."

James closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah, you're right." He opens his eyes again.

Dorcas clears her throat. "Uh, Jamie. Behind you."

"What?" He turns around and spots Regulus. "Fuck." Regulus looks at him with pity in his eyes. James sighs. "You heard the whole thing." He nods. "I'll- um - take you home now." He turns back around, and Marlene tosses him his phone, keys, and wallet. "Thanks, Marls. I won't be back tonight."

"Going back to your apartment?"

"Yeah. I love you both."

Marlene looks at him. "Jamie,"

"I'll be fine. Ok?" She nods. "I love you."

"We love you, too."

James and Regulus make it to his car. The whole time, neither of them spoke. James starts the car and starts driving. James usually puts on music when he's driving, but this doesn't feel like the right time.

About five minutes into the drive, Regulus speaks. "James,"

"Can we not? I've already been through this a million times. I get it. You never want to see me again. This is exactly why I don't date."

"I - wait, you think I don't want to date you?"

"That's how these things usually go. Isn't that where this is going?"

"No, of course I want to date you. Why would this lead me away?"

"That's what happens every time."

"Well, not this time. I promise." James parks the car of the side of the road. "What are you doing?"

James turns to him. "Why? Why are you staying?"

"Because someone shouldn't leave when things get hard. Especially when it's something like that."

James' breath hitched. "You mean it? You're staying?" Regulus nods. "Can I kiss you." He nods again and James leans in.

At some point - after the make-out session - James drives to the Blacks.

"Thanks. For staying - I mean."

"I don't know why anyone wouldn't. You're too beautiful and kind to pass up." James smiles and leans in for another kiss. Regulus opens the car door and gets out. "I'll text you?" James nods.

When James gets home, he erases his 30-day mark of not having any suicidal thoughts and puts down zero.

James started that when his parents died because he always had them a lot. The farthest he's ever got was two months. Marlene always thought it was stupid until she realized he always wrote down how many days. Then, she was always around to check the board - even though she thought she had made a good excuse, James still knew.

Marls

'How you doin'?'

'He didn't leave.'

'Really?'

'Yeah. I think I might finally have found my true love.'

'I'm glad, Jamie. You really needed one.'

'Wow. Thanks.'

'You're welcome.'

James rolls his eyes.

'I'm going to bed now. I love you.'

'I love you, too.'

If James was thinking about Regulus all night, no one needed to know that, only him.

***

It's been a month since Regulus and James started dating and a month since he last babysat the Blacks. James is pretty sure Regulus hasn't told anyone because no one has gave him the shovel talk. Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, Mary, Peter and even Frank gave Regulus the shovel talk, but no one has him yet.

James has learned a bunch of things about Regulus. Like, his favorite flower, - Acrtic Willows - color, - green - food - a chocolate soufflé - and many more.

Regulus has been around a lot in the past month, and Artemis, Aries, and Neville like him a lot. One time, they even asked if they could call him Uncle Regulus. Of course, James said no. That would be too much pressure. But if Regulus stays longer, then they most likely will.

At this point, Regulus has stayed over at James' at lot. He even stayed for a week once. But every time, he's always went back to his family. But every time, he always comes back to James.

With Regulus around, James' board has 30 days suicidal thoughts free. Surprisingly, Regulus never asked about the board. And even Marlene has accepted that Regulus is much better for James.

When his thoughts get too much, he still cuts his wrists, but lately, it's been a lot better.

"Hey, Reg." Regulus humms in response. "Have you told your family about us?"

"No. I didn't think you'd want to deal with that." They're laying in James' bed cuddling.

"I'll be fine. I promise. Just tell 'em."

"Ok. Well, we can tell 'em later today. Oh, yeah, Siri wants me to babysit. Can you?"

"Sure, Reg."

"Thank you, baby." He leans up and kisses James. "You're the best."

***

"Before you guys go, James and I have something to tell you."

"You're dating." Pandora states.

"How -"

"I know everything, James. But I didn't tell anyone. Besides, Lily."

"Yeah, and I already knew. It was obvious, Jamie."

Sirius makes a surprised face. "I didn't! That's my baby brother!"

"Ok, and?" Bellatrix says. "That's our baby cousin."

Barty purses his lips. "He's just my best friend."

***

James found the perfect place for Regulus' surprise. It's a greenery with a bunch of Regulus' favorite plants and trees.

"Regulus Arcturus Black, the first time I set eyes on you was the most spectacular thing I ever witnessed. You might have been mean to me at first, but I must have grown on you because, well, we're in this spot right now. So, Reg, Reggie, the love of my life, will you forever be with me for eternity? Make me the happiest man alive and make me your husband?"

Regulus smiles. "Yes, James, of course I will."

***

Regulus and James have found the most beautiful place to raise their family. James' childhood home that he never sold. And good timing, too. Aries, Artemis, and Neville started calling Regulus Uncle. And the same thing with James. Luna, Harry, Tom, Nymphadora, Teddy, and Draco started calling James Uncle, too.

***

"So, who's getting married?" A woman asks.

"We are." James says. "Me and my fiancé."

"You two?"

What? Never had a gay couple?"

"No, sorry. Tuxedos or dresses?"

"Tuxedos."

***

"Dorcas, my other beloved. Will you be my bridesmaid?"

"Yes, James."

"No scream?"

"I'm not like Marls but just for you." She screams.

"Alice, my wife, will you be my bridesmaid?"

She smiles. "Of course I will, Jamie."

"Mary, my life, will you be my bridesmaid?"

She jumps up and down while screaming. "Yes, yes, yes!"

"Frank, my husband, will you be my groomsman?"

"Yes, James."

"Peter, my love, will you be my groomsman?"

"Yes, James. Why wouldn't I be?"

"And, finally, my beloved, Marlene, will you be my maid of honor?"

She screams. "Yes! I knew you loved me!"

***

"Barty, will you be my groomsman?"

He smiles. "Do you really love me that much?"

Regulus rolls his eyes. "Yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Evan, will you be my groomsman?"

"Of course I will, Reg."

"Pandora, my beloved, will you be my bridesmaid?"

"Yes, Reg. Of course I will."

"She gets my beloved?"

"Shut up."

"Andromeda, Bellatrix, Narcissa, my dear cousins, will you be my bridesmaids?"

"Yes, Reg."

"You like me."

"Of course, Reg."

"Remus, the husband of my brother, will you be my groomsman?"

"I guess." He says sarcastically. He laughs. "Yes, I will."

"Finally, my dear brother, will you be my maid of honor?"

Sirius' mouth falls open. "You want me to be your maid of honor? I knew you liked me. Yes, Reggie."

"That boy really made you a sap."

***

Bellatrix gave birth to twins, Aliana and Mattheo, and had four more kids after. Two belonging to her husband, Cara and Mandy. One belonging to a man named Charles, Lorenzo. And one more belonging to Tom Riddle Sr., Delphini, and her siblings, Tom, Aliana, and Mattheo.

Regulus and James had three kids, Lillian, Leo, and Rose. Remus and Sirius had more kids, Hermione and Violet. Dorcas and Marlene had another kid, Jack. Narcissa and Lucius had another kid, Lila. Andromeda and Ted had another kid, Nina. Evan and Barty married and had a few kids, Lucas and Nicholas - which they said they'd never have any. Pandora and Lily had one more kid, Eclipse. Alice and Frank had twins, Juliana and Nicky. Peter married a woman named Elizabeth and had no kids. Mary married a woman named Emmeline and had one kid, Penelope.

And all them kids, made for a great family reunion and stories in a few years.

[debbeh]

can u give me a guide to the six idiots :33 like maybe with a picture of them n their names n who they play in the Big Three shows :33 pwetty peesse :33

UM YES!?

ok, you saw me earlier trying to format all the images so it's gonna be mostly my (ehhhh) descriptions of the characters and you gotta guess what they look like 😈

Ben Willbond

Yonderland:

Elder Vex (above): the one who says Deb-beh and has the coziest looking outfit I NEED IT RN PLZ and the Tom Cardy- esque hair and earring

Nick: the stick. Grumpy all the time cuz he's a stick >:(. Is also a portal between dimensions but whatevs

Horrible Histories

Mike Peabody :historical news reporter that wishes he were anywhere but here rn

King Henry, Alexander the Great: SkINy MaNdRiA, excellent hair, sniffed a guy

Ghosts

The captain: AKA James, makes a lotta noises, if you ever hear me going weeeahhhhhuuuueeeaaaaaahhhh, I'm referencing him, the gay one<3

Martha Howe-Douglas!

Yonderland!!

Debbie.

Debbie's evil twin sister (bossy boobs)

I just googled it: Rita, the Negatus simp AKA us, the demon that looks like how female animals are protrayed in Barbie movies

Horrible Histories!!!

Boudica (look up the song, it's rlly good), Cleopatra, every female historical figure

Pirate lady....<33333

Ghosts!

Lady Button (present day): Old disgruntled lady that pouts all the time and falls out of windows

Lady Button (flashback)

Mathew Baynton!!!

Yonderland!!!

Oracle: weird blue blob guy, Nigel, Darling

Nanny la roo: NUM NUMS!!!! - nanny that is also a kangaroo

Admiral Anous: Voldemort mf I hate him bc he hates Negatus>:(

Elder Choop: Croissant hair mf, says, "IDK WHY DON'T WE ASK UR MUM??"

Le Fox: French

THE BIRRDDDDD: AKA Thomas Payne, Batman but cooler

Oh yeah, and Elf: the elf shaped one, full name: Grintallin Gobscrew Crotell Fashanu F’naw Goplatz Holla-Holla, has multiple wives apparently and is in debt to the mob

Horible Histories (look all of them up, they are all hot)

Dick Turpin: play the song >:333, shot not one but two men dead!

D.I. Bones: the whakkus bonkkused

King Charles II: absolute party-er

Ghosts

Thomas Thorne, shot, dead! Absolute poetic simp for Allison, drowned himself in the lake ;( -cannot drown-

Jim Howik!!!

Yonderland

Elder Pressley: looks like Elvis, eats christmas tree ornaments

Crone: A sLaPper *wink wink*, has apparently gotten with everyone, goes eeeerrrrrrrrrrr all the time- sounds like a doorhinge, she is amazing

Neil: lhe most normal of the demons probably

Horrible Histories

A SHOUTY MAN!!! :does all the infomercials, will try to sell you piss

King George VI (above) : "oh yesss, dad's dead, I'm king..."

King Richard III: a sweet little guy<3 -according to the song, get's attacked by whasp

Ghosts

Pat Butcher: Greatest DJ in the AAARRREEEEEUHHHHH, killed by a child, AKA Pete in the American version

Larry Rickard

Yonderland

Detective Mounteback: very dumb detective with very large hat

Elder Ho Tan: trans Icon, doesn't like loud noises, absolute baby<3

Sue: above, the lady with the gun from the episode I showed you

Horrible Histories

Bob Hale: weather report, needs a hellicopter and a nice cup of tea, basically Bill Wurtz

Lol knight with shit on head, Aztec guy, George III friend who slays so hard; "ConGRatu-VerY-LaTiOns your... *MAgEsTy*"

Ghosts

Humphrey: keeps getting left on roofs and shelves, does NOT know French smh

Robin: 5,000 yo ghosts, once saw a cool butterfly, KNOWS FRENCH! Got stuck by lightning and now he can turn on lights

and finally... the moment you've been waiting for...

Simon Farnaby!!!

Yonderland!!!

Negatus<333: Silly guy try to take over Yonderland but is just a lil guy, has an evil lair, uses The Font of Orris (cauldron thing that lets you see everything) as a hot tub, get's bullied by all the other overlords, wears pjs with houses on them.

Elder Flowers!!!: Long hair and lack of shirt, vegetarian hippie of the group, wants his clothes to be veGONE, "all you need is love, brothers... oh, and food"

Horrible Histories

Emperor Caligula: the wakkus bonkkus guy

Marcus Licinius Crassus: Knockoff Bassline Junkie song

Ghosts:

Jullian!!!: Died conducting an affair with his secretary!!!, is eternally sorta drunk, does the hand thing, only ghost that can interact with stuff, makes silly EEERREREEEEE noise when he's trying to move something, his name is Trevor in the American version, sad when there's no porn on da TV ;(, has no pants BTW

Thanks for coming to my TEDTALK!!!

Lemme know if I missed anything!

[biolizardboils]

Hooray for Captain Underpants: The Unnecessarily In-Depth Writeup

Ages ago, Pilkey.com entered its golden era... the era of Flash content! From about 2003 to 2006, the site was blessed with a new layout, a jukebox, music videos, a LOT of games, and a banner adorned with different characters whenever you refreshed the page! The last thing doesn’t load in the Wayback Machine but trust me it was cool

Most of this stuff has thankfully been preserved, from YouTube reposts early on to those sites with hundreds of stolen games, to archivists scrambling just before Flash died in 2020. One of the early migrators, and the possibly the site’s star attraction, was a simple song with an accompanying animation.

Before George and Harold asked what could possibly go wrong... before Weird Al helped make Dav’s decade... before the Koji Matsumoto songs that I never listened to as a kid because the thumbnails scared me... only one song could encapsulate what these books stood for. Subsequently, only one video could provide an extended glimpse of Pilkey’s wacky world, in full motion and full color. 

I’m talking, of course, about Hooray for Captain Underpants.

In this post, I’ll be covering everything to be gleaned about its production and discussing its potential impact on future CU adaptations. Why? Because the Movie won this poll by exactly 1 point! @bestanimatedmovie​ let me know if you’d like me to stop interfering in your tournament lol.

————————————————————

According to the site’s New Stuff page, both the song and video were added on January 5th, 2005. The Free Music page lists its copyright date as 2004, however. It seems the song was created first, then held back until the accompanying video was ready a year later.

Speaking of copyright, I'd like to shine a spotlight on everyone who contributed to this gift to humanity! First, the song:

Produced, Written and Performed by Josh Katz.

This guy’s perpetual voice-crack and rap-adjacent stylings make up most of the Extra-Crunchy CD O’ Fun. Outside of that, he’s better known as Rappy McRapperson, a tongue-in-cheek “gangster” act active from 1999 to 2017. I won’t be linking to his music since it's all rather... off-color; look them up at your own risk. I’m not sure how Dav found the guy and now I’m afraid to ask

Beat by Ben Petty.

Petty seems to have contributed music (and his garage) to the Rappy act. The only info I can find on him is tied to Rappy, so again, no links.

Children's Chorus: Mrs. Dean's Music Class.

Imagine having been in this class, your youthful voice immortalized for the ages! Where are these students now, I wonder? If only one of them spoke about it in a random subreddit or something...

Additional Vocals: Elizabeth Dean.

Besides the slim chance of one of her students having the same last name, this was probably the music teacher. I have an inkling on what “role” she plays in the song, but that’s for later.

The video lists two more parties:

Animation by Wetland Animation

Googling this name only supplies animations of wetlands, but I might have found them under a different name. At the bottom of the home page, the site’s redesign is credited to both Dav and an “Eyeland Studio”. There’s an archive of their site from around the same timeframe, and whaddya know!

Directed by Scott Hamlin

This guy is the first (and only) name on Eyeland’s Contacts page! Well, not specifically Eyeland’s—apparently that’s just one of three branches of a bigger subsidiary named Games In A Flash? But this is an infodump about Captain Underpants, not the Flash industry, so

————————————————————

On to the actual song and video! I’ll be using this 4K remaster for reference. (And it’s a stellar remaster, might I add—judging from ancient videos of the original, every single asset and animation error is still intact!)

The first few shots include two villains getting inconvenienced in amusing ways—a bold directing decision, I must say. More seriously, I’d like to point out Prof. Poopypants’s color scheme here. It actually lines up with the two (yes, two) he has on the cover of Book 4!

He wears a muted blue suit on the front cover (at least in early editions) and a purple one on the back cover. Here, he’s wearing the blue suit and the frames of his glasses are purple. Coincidence? Yeah, probably, but it’s cool to know he had a two-outfit thing going on way before the Movie.

First off, nobody walks like this. Second off, what kind of school has searing mint green walls? Sorry, it’s just... not the color I had in mind for Jerome Horwitz lol. Anyway, here come the lyrics!

[GEORGE] Uh-oh.

[HAROLD] Here we go again!

Ah, the classic lines! Not much to say here, but keep the Boys’ voices in mind.

Wedgie Woman has the smoothest animation in the whole video for some reason. (The perks of being a girlboss, I guess?) Her scene is a highly kinetic bit of slapstick, too—it makes me wish I knew how to make good GIFs.

Meet George and Harold! They pull pranks and stuff! They're cool (COOL!) And they're mischievous!

Yes they are 💙 Also lol at “Gym teachers smell like stinky toilets”—I wonder what the sign said earlier.

Krupp has a skin-colored line floating over his arm, and the walls drift to the left at the end of this shot. But also, Harold’s hair does a funny little bounce when they notice Krupp! Plusses and minuses, I guess?

Meet Mr. Krupp! He's not nice, he's mean! That was, until the day  he saw a Hypno-Ring!

... 🎵 and now you know the plot! 🎵

[CHORUS] [x2] Underpants, underpants, I like Captain Underpants! Underpants, underpants, Hooray for Captain Underpants!

The phrase “hooray for Captain Underpants” showed up often in the earlier books, usually in the Boys’ comics. 

The syllables of “underpants” snap into place as the chorus sings them—almost like waistbands! Also, Captain’s antics here correspond with specific Book covers, and the background’s colors change to match! For Chorus #1 we have, in order: purple for Book 3, orange-on-yellow for Book 4, turquoise for Book 2, and blue for Book 1! (Not sure about the shot of him running towards the camera though.)

He flies up high in the air—he's not scared (Woosh!) Captain Underpants likes wearing underwear! He also likes fighting crime (Pssh!) Evil-doers beware, ‘cause it's superhero time!

I'm just noticing this but what happened to the Dandelion of Doom here sdfghjk?? Is this a placeholder graphic that got left in? It looks much more book-accurate later in the video, which makes this even funnier.

And the lifestyle gets pretty rough (AAAH!) You gotta spend a lot of time fighting mean stuff like Talking Toilets and Professor Poopypants (Pssh!) When you're done, you do a little victory dance!

This part kills me cus Poopypants was literally just standing there vkhjg. He even seems to sigh in resignation before the underwear hits!

[INSTRUMENTAL] Do the Wedgie Wiggle! [INSTRUMENTAL]

In the Hall of the Mountain King, babyyy! This scene is just the Underpants Dance Flip-O-Ramas from Book 7, but with extra frames—and it looks amazing! The four bad guys scowling at Captain in the background are the icing on top!

Good lord, that’s like, highlighter yellow. Seriously, who painted this school?

OH NO! The world's in trouble again (AAAH!) The lunchroom lady really IS an alien!

Fair warning: if a Second Epic Movie ever happens and they confirm the Alien!Edith thing, I will post this part but bass-boosted to obscene levels.

And it's all for... thrills and laffs!

I was promised Action, Thrills, and Laffs—where’s the Action?? For shame, video! I want a refund!

[GIRL]  Captain Underpants, can I get your autograph?

About that inkling I mentioned earlier: I think Mrs. Dean may have voiced Autograph Girl here! Her voice sounds the slightest bit older than the chorus singers, and that’s my only point of evidence, but I can’t think of any other reason for that Additional Voices credit.

[CAPTAIN] Tra-la-laaaaa! (Woosh!)

[RANDOM GUY] COOL!

Captain Underpants should fly by MY school!

You and me both, Josh! I say despite no longer being in school Also I always felt bad that Captain just... flew off lol, I like to think that girl got his autograph later.

Bad guys and crime sprees, they don't even care— Now they stop in the name of underwear!

This part is great dfghj. The smoothness, the Boys’ >:) look, the little detail of Booger Boy sniffling, I love it.

Hitting robots in the face and poking evil in the eye (Poink!) It's very fun when you defeat crime!

If any British people read this, I’ve got a question: I know Dr. Diaper was renamed Dr. Nappy over there, but does that apply to the Movie too? Like, when Captain namedrops him near the end, did they have Ed Helms rerecord the line, or is he still called Dr. Diaper? 

[GIRL] I wish I could do it all day long!

That's why all day long, you listen to this song about—

You bet your Poopypants I do!

[CHORUS] [x2]

Chorus #2 introduces two more scenes of Captain fighting Poopypants and the Dandelion of Doom. The Poopypants one is based on a Flip-O-Rama, and while making this post I thought the Dandelion one was, too. I checked Book 3 while wrapping up and turns out I was Mandela Effect-ing myself, but, like, it’d make for a good Flip-O-Rama, right? Here, I even made a mock-up of what I “remembered”.

Also when Captain flies up in this scene, there’s a green dot where he stops (possibly to mark his position for the animators). Have fun un-seeing that!

[PROF. P] I’LL GET YOU, CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS!

I’m guessing Josh voices Poopypants here. This and Go Poopypants are kinda weird to listen to in a post-Movie world. Pour one out to parents and teachers who read these books aloud, I imagine kids get sad if they don’t do Zee Accent. (I know I would.)

Now the day's been saved and peace has been restored— Captain Underpants isn't needed anymore (Awww!)

PERISH THE THOUGHT. Must one be “needed” to justify their presence? Do people not exist beyond the services they perform?? Captain is a good and happy and fun guy and I love him and he should be allowed to stay!

Anyway, look at this pile of assorted bad guys! We can see, from left to right and from bottom to top: Either the Booger Boy or the Robo-Boogers, Dr. Diaper, The Harold 2000, Wedgie Woman, Dr. Diaper’s robots, the Dandelion of Doom, the two burglars from Book 1, one of the Alien Lunch Ladies, and... 

...The Inedible Hunk?? He’s an interesting pick, since he’s comic-exclusive and never comes to exist in “reality” like the others. This was his sole color appearance for 8 years until the In Full Color editions; he’s green there as opposed to yellow here. I think he looks suitably gross in both, though.

He's your pal, but also he's your PRINCI-pal! Sometimes he's ridiculous, sometimes inVINCI-bal!

Krupp’s toupee just falls in from nowhere here lol. I like to think it got stuck to the ceiling after flying off at the start of the video.

But now, he's gotta enforce the rules By being mean, and being not cool So it's back to school life with a paper and pen, but then—

I called Katz’ stuff rap-adjacent earlier, but I’ll admit this part is pretty fire.

Poor kid, about to get his yo-yo confiscated... In this moment, I’d gladly follow that sign’s instruction.

[GEORGE] Uh-oh.

[HAROLD] Here we go again!

You know how I said to keep the Boys’ voices in mind? Now, go find a clip from Epic Tales (or just use this) and listen to them there. You might find that they sound similar, despite being made thirteen years apart! Maybe DreamWorks had this video in mind when picking the show’s voice cast? Before the Movie and Epic Tales, Pilkey.com’s Flash videos were the only full-color, fully-animated CU Things for ages—I’d be surprised if they didn’t use them as references. 

More possible evidence: Harold’s shirt colors! They fluctuated a lot until the Movie and Epic Tales settled on green stripes. In fact, his default shirt in Epic Tales resembles the one he wears in this video!

[CHORUS] [x2]

Thus ends the music video ever: with a wink and... whatever this shot is!

What more is there to say? Besides some mashups and this amazing trap remix, this song’s legacy is an understated one. Pilkey.com has seen multiple redesigns since then, eventually retiring its Flash content; two new, higher-budget theme songs were made, and it’s hard to compete with Weird Al himself. Yes, Hooray’s time in the spotlight is long over, and it’s probably too late to reach out to anyone involved in its creation. After all, who’s gonna laud a potty-themed Flash video as their claim to fame?

Surprisingly, that question has an answer. And the answer is (drumroll please)... this Redditor!

This has been an unnecessarily in-depth write-up about Hooray for Captain Underpants—thanks so much for reading this far! For my closing remarks, I’d like to plug that one trap remix again, discovering it made me die of laughter

Say hello to a former member of Mrs. Dean’s Music Class! (Except don’t actually go bother them about this, please respect their privacy.) I found this by complete accident last year and saved it to share here later, and now’s as good a time as any! I suggest that we heed their command and start worshipping them immediately!

————————————————————

[youhaveforgottenmealready]

Story from 2021

This has been rotting on my Google Drive since 2021.

**********

Clark Kent met Bruce Wayne on a chilly day in Metropolis. To fight the freezing winds, Clark wore a wool coat and miles of scarf wound around his neck like a boa constrictor.

With five years under his belt, Clark was now an established writer for what he knew was the greatest newspaper on earth, the Daily Planet. His status as an old hand on deck was what had landed him the task of accompanying Bruce Wayne on a tour through the entire building —  which WayneCorp had bought lock, stock, and barrel — along with the newspaper housed on many of its floors.

Bruce Wayne was calm and loose despite the crowd of nosy reporters following his every step, bustling closer and closer to blurt questions at him. The building housing the Daily Planet was historical and had been remodeled and reinforced several times. Each scratch and stain on the sidewalk told a story according to the friendly and polished tour guide. Her name was Kelly and she was so fresh and young that Clark felt like he should offer to hold her hand when they crossed the street and tell her not to talk to strangers.

Kelly seemed to be enjoying her job, however. She cheerfully led Bruce through the grand lobby, down to the mailroom, up to editorial and everywhere in between. The tour was exhaustive — and even Clark found it dull and he was the paper's biggest fan — but if Bruce Wayne was bored or tired, he never complained.

"What a nice cafeteria," he commented with no apparent sarcasm. Clark studied him, looking for any hint of condescension, but he earnestly seemed to think the cafeteria was top notch.

"Just you intrepid reporters eat here?" Bruce Wayne asked Clark, staring into the kitchens and ignoring all the gawking lunch ladies and early diners. They were showing all the signs of dismay at being caught with sandwiches halfway to their mouths while a full camera crew followed around a world-famous, billionaire playboy, one scarf-wearing, hand-picked journo, and an overly-excited, youthful tour guide.

"Uh, no," Clark said. "The Planet is only on twenty floors."

Bruce opened his mouth to say something, perhaps another question, when there was a sudden, violent sound of an explosion. Everyone froze. Everyone flinched. Clark Kent was that surprised to see Bruce Wayne take three steps towards the noise before seeming to recall where he was and who he was with.

He glanced over his shoulder at all the people staring in wide-eyed terror towards the noise. When the second explosion rocked the space — this one closer and louder — Bruce looked to Kelly and said, "What's the fastest way out of this building?"

**********

Doubt I'll ever finish it. But explosions! Yay!

[barbaracleboy]

Fun Fact! Did you know that Etrian Odyssey got a mobile game? It's fair if you don't, not only was said game Japan-only, but it was discontinued a while ago. It seems to be obscure enough to essentially be lost media, with very little of it remaining beyond a few screenshots and some music. Thankfully, one of the few remaining things relating to it can be found here (http://dihyhi.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-47.html). This page is all in Japanese, though, so speaking just for myself I had to use Google Translate to get rough ideas of what it says, and obviously that's not ideal. Thankfully, though, it's also got images, revealing the fun designs for (some of) the Characters within!

(Designs and me talking about them under the Keep Reading)

Here we have what appears to be the Innkeeper, a lovable-looking lady! Honestly I feel kinda bad for not having her in my "Characters with closed eyes" meme. If I knew about her she'd totally be part of that.

Apparently this woman runs a medicine shop. And her name might be Muse??? Again, take some of what I'm saying with a grain of salt, the translation tools I used aren't top notch. That said, it claims she has a "cold atmosphere", and I can believe it. She looks like a serious person.

I love this Dwarf-like dude. Apparently his name is Potasu and he's a blacksmith, selling weapons, armor, and stuff like that. Having weapons/armor and medicine sold in different shops sounds annoying, must have been done for Mobile Game Monetization Reasons™ (EDIT: So, apparently this is not a Mobile Game Monetization thing; EO1 just had medicine and equipment in different shops, and this game came out shortly after that one. Thanks to @/pbone64 for letting me know!...Also, sorry for updating this so late.)

Here we have a big guy that apparently acts as the resident Quest Giver, and he's neat. Kinda reminds me of Cass from EO2. According to what Google Translate says the page says, Quests were added often back when the game was still active, which sounds kinda interesting. Sort of makes me wish I was able to play it back then.

This lass's name is apparently Asuka, and she seems to be the Guildkeeper! A bit different from most of the Guildkeeper designs, ha...she's cute.

According to Google Translate, this person's name is "Freen"? You can apparently go to "Freen" to get and report Missions as well as update your Monster and Item Encyclopedias, making "Freen" analogous to other major leader-type Characters likethe Outland Count from EO4.

It's a shame that the Etrian Odyssey Mobile Game was lost, if only because we no longer have a decent way to see all these nice designs. Apparently the music's good too and I don't doubt that but I haven't heard it myself. Here's a playlist of some songs, you guys can judge based on it (https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuw2FaP0vGRLvpAbki0s_Z0S8WGsI0Cqx)

If there's anyone with more info on this game or better quality images of the designs from it I'd love to see or hear them. Otherwise, thanks if you read this, and whether or not you did I hope you have a good day!

[gren-arlio]

So. Fia and the Mysterious School.

So uh...Yeah, I know I'm seriously late to the party when it comes to this stuff, but I realized that this was mostly done and it was in drafts, so I might as well post it. This might just be filler for the big post, but enjoy nevertheless. ----

Madou 4 is... looking pretty cool, I'm not gonna lie. Really enjoying the art direction they're going for. And the designs of the characters? Amazing.

Like genuinely, even if it doesn't get an official English release, I'm down to watch and learn about it.

(They're so...silly...)

Even the screenshot of the overworld is very charming to boot.

I heard a pal say "It looks like Gen 6 of Pokémon" and I could see it, but we'll have to wait and see for the true experience of this game.

I'll make what I think of the characters a Read More thing. Imo, looking amazing.

You can read about the stuff right here.

---

Fia:

The newest silly girl on the block. Besides me thinking that Witch finally got her name chosen, I genuinely love the design they went for, since small hats are peak character designs.

Apparently she's a bit of an airhead and I'm all for it. Let her get involved into dumb stuff because she's dense and clueless and stupid. We love that in this world.

---

Will:

Tbh, besides the whole crop top thing he has, I absolutely dig the design and color choices they went for. And also excluding the fact that his name is Will in a fantasy game, I do find it curious that he has a twin brother, Roy, who's apparently a teacher.

Oh, and since this is making headlines: Apparently he's got a mix of Lagnus and Rulue in him. So he HAS to be peak.

---

Leena:

I really dig the design, I won't deny it, somehow they made almost all blue look really, really nice. The site says that she's calm and collected, but struggles with speaking to people, which I will most likely hope is just her being shy to talk to people, rather than the whole "She just sounds like a pervert," like Schezo does.

She also apparently reads a lot, if the glasses and the shy personality didn't point at her being quite the reader. So with that, she might be peak.

---

Totto:

Green mage with white hair that covers the eye? Where have I seen that before... Jokes aside, he does open his eyes compared to someone we do know, and he's pretty different. According to the site, he's someone with a lotta info...you just gotta pay the dude for it. So like Anna from Fire Emblem.

Also apparently, there's some promise he made to someone? Who knows about it for now?

---

Eska:

Now this design is pretty unique, yellow and white with pink eyes is an interesting choice of coloring they went for. I genuinely like what they went for with her, AND she's half dragon? I wonder what they're gonna go with her.

She gains interest to Fia (It google translates to Fear, so uh...yeah.) after the start of the game, and she doesn't really have common sense, which is gonna be interesting.

---

Roy:

Besides the fact that he is NOT our boy this time around, Roy is Will's twin brother who went the teacher route in life rather than the hero route. He's basically the antithesis of Will; Cool-headed and prefers to be realistic to Will's optimism.

Also, I think he visually looks better than Will, but eh, that could change in due time.

---

And finally, Jurk:

Besides his kinda bad name IMO, I like his design a lot. A guy who simply travels the world is always a fun concept in any game, and his design is honestly one of the best I've seen from the game. He's also friends with the headmaster of the school, which could be interesting.

My main concern is the person he tags along with, Mew. She's probably going to be an alright character, but I don't have super high hopes of that. Plus, her design isn't selling me at all, it just doesn't look right.

---

But yeah, those are (at least for now), my honest thoughts for the game RN. Maybe when more is covered and shown off sometime. But that'll be all for today.