#arguably the most emotional one he did lmao

[amourane]

why can't we love freely?

pairing: theodore nott x hufflepuff!reader

genre: angsttttt, secret relationship

w/c: 2k

summary: you're tired of being a secret and it was time to let theo know.

warnings: HEARTBREAK

a/n: this was initially meant to be for a request and i started writing it and i got on a roll only to finish the piece and go back to check the request to realise i did it all wrong lmao, so i decided to just post this instead <3 enjoy!

The busy chatter that filled the Great Hall was one that you were familiar with, afterall it had been the same for the past few years that you had been a part of Hogwarts. There was a hint of the sunlight peeking through the windows as the early morning bustle reached its peak. Everyone was rushing to pile breakfast onto the porcelain plates but you couldn’t help but linger at the entrance, looking back ever so often to check if a certain someone had arrived yet. 

“Y/n hurry! Bloody Ernie is going to have devoured all the croissants before I even have a bite.” Hannah whined as she pulled you along towards the Hufflepuff table.

Her incessant nagging eventually made you move and you dragged yourself towards your fellow house members albeit a little sad you hadn’t seen the person that had been on your mind. You dig into your own meal, stabbing the fruits with your fork and shoving them into your mouth. There was the normal hubbub that surrounded you and you felt yourself melt into conversation with your friends once again.

A voice caught your attention and you immediately perked up at the deep chuckle that had your heart skipping a beat. There he was: Theodore Nott. Quite arguably the most handsome person in all of Hogwarts and, of course, your boyfriend. His tousled hair framed his angled face perfectly with single strands that fall into his eyes. You watched as a smirk danced on his lips as he sauntered over to his side of the hall. Theodore Nott had always possessed an aura that drew you into him. Even when you both weren’t dating you often found yourself staring at the handsome boy from your table, wondering what he was really like.

As Theodore's gaze met yours in that fleeting moment, a silent exchange passed between you, laden with unspoken emotions. In the depths of his eyes, you saw the words he couldn't voice.

“I love you.”

It’s silent but it’s there.

The both of you had agreed to keep the relationship under the wraps, not wanting anyone to know about the two of you. It would cause an uproar and neither of you were sure if you wanted to handle the aftermath of the situation. So this was what it came to. Secret glances and whispered love confessions. You couldn’t walk up to him, you couldn’t kiss him in front of everyone, you couldn’t even talk to your friends about him.

Although you had said it would be fine for it to be a secret you didn’t think that he would still want to keep it a secret after so long. You didn’t want to hide your affection for Theo. You truly loved him more than anything and it had already been a year since you officially started dating. Surely it didn’t matter that much that it was a secret.

"Hello? Y/n? You there?" Hannah's voice pulled you from the depths of your thoughts, and you blinked, feeling as though you were emerging from a distant haze. Her concerned expression hovered before you as she waved a hand in front of your face, urging you back to the present moment.

You glanced down to find a forgotten cup of pumpkin juice in your hand, its contents untouched. How long had you been lost in your own thoughts?

"I'm... I'm sorry, Hannah." You murmured, offering her a weak smile as you tried to shake off the lingering tendrils of distraction. "I guess I just...drifted off for a moment there."

“You alright? You don’t look well.” She reached her hand to bring it to your forehead, trying to feel if you had a fever. “You were properly zoned out there.”

“Yeah yeah I’m fine.” You tried to brush off her concern and you offered her a meek smile. “Just didn’t have a good night’s sleep, that's all.”

Your friend looked at you, her lips pursed, a sign she didn’t actually believe what you said. You forced another smile in Hannah's direction, you silently hoped that she wouldn't press any further

Truth be told, you weren’t fine. The past couple of weeks had consisted of your thoughts rampaging in your mind. The continuous stream of worries that clouded your view as you tried desperately to reason with yourself. It wasn’t a huge issue that your relationship with the Slytherin was a secret but gradually what were stupid thoughts now turned into ones that plagued you everywhere you went. You’d be lying if you said you were okay with not even being acknowledged as his girlfriend as he ignored you in class and everywhere public.

Your eyes locked with Theo’s once again and you saw the way there was concern etched into his face. Your boyfriend knew when you were upset and he definitely knew that you were far from okay right now. He mumbled something to Blaise who was beside him before getting up to leave - a signal for you to do the same.

“I think I’m going to go take a nap before class starts, can you come wake me up later?” 

Hannah nodded and you thank her quickly before whisking yourself away in the direction the Slytherin had set off to. The chatter faded as you walked down the hallway and you were now left alone with your thoughts once again. It was bad you knew but you couldn’t help but feel as though you were something to be ashamed of. Was that why Theo was so desperate to cling on to the secrecy?

“Principessa?” Your boyfriend gently grabbed your wrist, twirling you around to face him and you realised you had been too caught up in your mind to even notice he was there. “You okay? You seem a bit off my love.”

His eyes twinkled with concern and you saw the love and affection you were familiar with and it warmed your heart. You loved Theodore Nott more than anything but the questions had plagued your mind for too long now and you needed to voice your thoughts. Otherwise, you thought you would go insane.

“Why are we a secret?”

It was barely above a whisper but Theo heard it. He knew that you weren’t one for loud environments, preferring the quiet of the library and the solitude of your dorm. You were always shy and introverted, rarely speaking to others. You liked to keep to yourself. Even with Theo you were shy and meek but that didn’t mean you weren’t happy. There was always a smile on your face, a loving beam that would make his own heart stutter. Yet your lips weren’t drawn into the bright grin he knew, instead they were in a frown and he recognised your nervousness as you wringed your hands.

Theo would have never considered himself to notice little details. He had always ignored everyone else around him and he never paid enough attention nor did he care enough about others to recognise the little tell-tale signs that everyone did. Until he met you. Then he noticed every little detail, from the way your nose would scrunch when you tried to bite back a laugh to the way you would tangle your fingers in your hair when you were trying to solve a problem.

So it was only natural he realised that you weren’t okay.

“Y/n we talked about this-”

“Yes I know it’s just that.” You paused. The words were bubbling up your throat, you felt them rising and rising and rising and you were unable to stop. You took a sharp inhale. “I don’t understand why, not anymore.”

“Y/n, mia cara, we’ve been through this. No one will accept us. People won’t understand the love between us and they’ll try to tear us apart. My friends, they won’t understand.”

“Then make them understand.”

You didn’t get it. You couldn’t get it. Was he ashamed? Was he embarrassed? Why couldn’t he fight for you, for both of you? 

You felt the tears welling in your eyes, threatening to roll down your face. It was all too much, the constant doubt, the dread, the shame. You had thought you would have been free of these thoughts for a day but who knew that today was when you would finally break. 

Your boyfriend wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you into his chest. He felt warm and your arms loop around his body. You cling onto him, unwilling to let go. It was too late to stop the tears now and you felt them fall as you sniffled in his arms.

“Theo, Merlin knows we've been together for more than a year now, and it's been like living in a shadow. I've kept us a secret from everyone - my friends, my family - and I don’t even know anymore. I want to be able to love you openly, without fear or hesitation. I want to hold your hand, kiss your cheek, wake up beside you without worrying about who might see. And I know that there’s issues but we can work through them together can’t we? I want to love you freely…don’t you?”

You pulled away from his chest as you searched his eyes, pleading with him to agree with you. Theo stared at your figure. He watched as the tears he promised not to make fell from your eyes. He felt his heart twist at your words, unable to find the words he wanted to say. Silence. You waited. And then you saw it. The sliver of doubt. That was all you needed before you were recoiling from his touch, pushing his hands off you.

Theo was quick, he tried to pull you back, tried to keep you near him but it didn't stop you from trying to get as far away from him as possible. 

“Y/n, please, stay please.” 

His voice was a desperate plea, each syllable heavy with the weight of his love. But as you backed away, tears streaming down your cheeks, Theodore's heart shattered into a thousand irreparable pieces. He watched helplessly as you retreated from him, the distance between you growing with each shaky step you took.

You shook your head as you backed away from the boy you loved. You tried to steady your breathing but all you could manage were shaky breaths as the tears kept falling. It was all too much. It was overwhelming, the feeling that engulfed you whole when you first met Theodore Nott had spit you back out and now you were left not knowing what to do.

“I-I…I can’t.” You stuttered, refusing to look him in the eye. “I can’t do this, not when you don’t feel the same. I can’t, not anymore.”

“No.” Theo reached forward but it only made you step further away as if his touch would burn you like acid. His outstretched hand fell limply to his side, his heart breaking with each word you uttered. “No, don't do this. Y/n please don’t do this. Mia cara, I love you so much you know that. I love you to the moon and back and I will never stop loving you so please don’t do this. I’m begging you.”

“Not enough.” Your voice wavered as the words left your mouth. “You don’t love me enough and you’ve made that clear Theo. I can’t do this, I really can’t. I’m sorry.”

And then you were gone, disappearing into the depths of the corridor, leaving Theodore standing alone. Each word you said replayed in his mind. His emotions toss and turn in the turmoil he had been thrust into. You were gone. You left. He felt his heart burn and ache, pounding at his ribcage. There was a numbing pain that overtook his senses as a wave of anguish washed over him. He reached a trembling hand to his cheek, only to find it damp with tears

It was then that Theodore Nott realised it was the first time he had cried since his mother’s death.

[wellcomeoneileen]

Post 2/? on Processing QaF

End of qaf -technical points. 

This is a very logistical view on the literal end of the show. My more thematic l thoughts about the whole final season are also under this tag, in post 1. Again, conceding that I am very new to an established fandom and this is my immediate processing of finishing my recent obsession, and there are probably several other posts like this floating around.

I read every spoiler possible. I read nearly every fanfic possible all before I watched any of the last season of QaF. The endless thought pieces really did help sooth me for seasons four and five. I think I was a much more at peace with them than fans who were watching it live back in 2005. But the last one or two episodes had me pausing with my jaw dropped multiple times. I hated it!

And I contemplated why - when I knew every single thing that was gonna happen, even several lines of dialogue I knew!

And I think it comes down to the breakneck pacing and editing.

:readmore:

Because right after finishing, I paced around my home angrily muttering over what had happening. And outlining the end like that, even though I was in a mood, still sort of made sense. 

Brian has been a sex god for several seasons. He let down his guard to let Justin in. Out of fear, he did what fans/Justin thought they wanted, and asked for marriage/said I love you with Justin. Brian loves him enough to not force him to stay, Justin loves him enough to not make him change. Peacefully and lovingly, they go their separate ways with the strong and insinuation that they will either do long distance or reconcile. That sounds good! It was horrible to watch.

The show betrays itself by acknowledging the Britin arc is the most important to the show and viewers by saving it for the penultimate scene. The final episode(s) have all really revolved around Brian. Even the girls leaving was really about Brian (in its show presentation, at least). And Brian and Justin have the final scene of all the characters resolving their storylines. The final, final scene was an ensemble one (as it should be for an ensemble show) which reflected on the show as a whole. That was the epilogue, because Britin was the denouement.

This is tough in two ways.

First, because the Britin arc has a bittersweet end, yet felt more like the writers wagging their finger at the audience instead of a thoughtful conclusion that was necessarily bittersweet. Whole other post.

Second, because of their editing – both storyline wise and visual execution wise.

The decision to show Justin and Brian in bed together, not even see Justin leave, and then show Brian in bed alone was pretty cutthroat. I literally paused and my jaw dropped – but not in a good, teary way, or my heart strings were pulled way, but in a … I felt like the writers were kind of flipping me off? Or flipping the actors off? I literally googled if Randy Harrison had fought with the showrunners because of that (and allegedly, yes, lmao. You can tell!!!). That was just an unpleasant viewing experience.

Then, the writers did not give any sort of breathing room for that emotional beat to end and then the series finale beat to begin. There is no space between Brian being left alone and Brian and Michael going to the club and then dancing. No space timewise, plotline wise, or even visually, as they literally meld the end of Britin into the start of Brian/Michael final.

Because of this, even though I’m sure it was written and outlined as very separate plot points for separate emotional beats for separate scenes, it doesn’t feel that way as an audience member.

Instead, it feels like a run-of-the-mill action-reaction pair for a singular emotional beat. It doesn’t feel, or look, like two separate, contained, emotional beats.

Without being able to digest a very bittersweet conclusion to what is arguably the most important plot line of the entire show, it still feels like we’re still wrestling with that in the final scene. It is LEAPING from denouement to epilogue, which even tacky, bittersweet rom-coms don’t do, if you pay attention ( I am literally thinking of how the HARRY STYLES FANFICTION movie Idea of You handled this similar thing better, good lord.)

Therefore, watching Brian dance alone, while we’re being told the thumpa thumpa goes on, feels like he’s being reset. Because we go oh sad, Britin is getting a bittersweet end :/ then THIRTY seconds later we are seeing Brian party and it’s impossible for audience members to not directly connect those dots. Those are the only dots we’re shown!!

I read a 2005 livejournal where stayci28 said she viewed the end as more symbolic than real. It’s about the queer community continuing matter what and it’s really about people will continue to rise up. No matter what is being given to them and they will persevere, they will be proud, they will be here and they’re not gonna go anywhere. That’s a beautiful sentiment, makes a lot of sense, and is a fitting conclusion for the WHOLE show after the Britin bit is wrapped up.

However, Ron Cowan himself said that was only half true in an interview here: https://bjfic.livejournal.com/2528384.html?

He said that the dance was real and was one last outing. Though the sentiment is true – the scene was meant to be about queers surviving, not Brian being alone or an old party boy. (sidenote: see post 1 for me complaining that if this is one last outing…what is Brian doing, exactly, with his time now??)

But the editing and the pacing did not give the audience that space - and so the final scene still seems to be solely about Brian, not about the overall message of queer survival and joy. It LOOKS, at least, like (as Tumblr user @sophsun1 said) Brian was out with no son, no lover (who was in the city he wanted to be in), in a burnt out club. Rip.

The smallest of changes, like having the Britin ending coming earlier in the episode, or even inserting a single “breathing” scene between the Britin and finale scenes would have established the scene beats much better. Honestly, just changing Michael’s awful line (really that whole convo) about Brian always being young and beautiful to simply be about the ~~hopeful future~~ would have set the tone to be not about Brian being miserable.

When I see really old comments online about the end, I don’t get the sense that people fully “got” the end. From what I’ve seen, even fans who were okay with a bittersweet end weren’t really connecting that the finale wasn’t showing Brian miserable, lol.

I think the writers continuously structured the show to revolve around Brian and Britin, then wrote themselves out of that with various in your face plots/dialog, but ignored that beyond the literal words on script, story STRUCTURE impacts viewing experience just as much! These final two scenes display the embodiment of that issue.

The writers desperately needed to slow down, allow digestion, and visually show a divide of scenes if they had wanted the audience to comprehend the last two scenes as separate beats and not action/reaction.

Later this week, I have lots of thoughts about S5 replacement plotlines that would have easily fit into Cowlip’s established world, and a lot about Brian Kinney’s value system and internalized gender issues :)

[quodekash]

FINAL PART OF THE EPISODE, LETS GOOOO

I LOVE HIM 😭

this entire situation is very not good

(I forgot to write down my thoughts lmao)

oh so he's gonna suffocate him? that makes sense actually, I thought he was gonna shoot him

anyway time for the perfectly timed rescue from kangsailom

HELL YEAH SAILOM

BRO JUST PUNCHED A GROWN MAN, IM PROUD OF HIM

no come on man

why

why can't we all just be happy

why the hell did kang throw himself between the gun and the guy

(did you just throw your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone?)

oh okay so its just an arm wound

he'll be fine, right?

just a lil graze wound?

also because of the light it looks like theres a guy in the blood lmao

Tony stark-ass man

gUYS

I get that you wanna be all noble and stuff but can we chill a little bit

maybe duck down instead? step to the left? run out the door and grab some authorities so that you're not facing against this deranged guy alone? just some food for thought

YES

YES

YES

HELL YES

oh wait no

oh no now he's gonna go to jail for gun possession

crap

OH WAIT BUT SAIFAH'S ALSO IN JAIL

THEY CAN BE JAIL BOYFRIENDS

we've got bathroom boyfriends (soundwin/guynawa), rooftop boyfriends (patpran and arguably guynawa too), pool boyfriends (tinngun) and now we can have jail boyfriends!

the four elements. bathroom, rooftop, jail, pool.

long ago the four nations lived together in harmony. then, everything changed when the jail nation attacked. only the avatar, master of all four boyfriends, could stop them. but when the world needed him most, he vanished.

a hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new avatar, a poolbender named palm. and although his poolbending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. but I believe palm can save the world!

(I can't quite remember but I'm pretty sure palmnueng managed all four of those at some point. they definitely got beat up in a bathroom at some point or something like that, there was that pool scene from the very start of the series, they're kind of technically on the run from the police and stuff like the entire time which is close enough to jail, and they end up on the roof of that one building quite a few times. so yeah, I guess palmnueng are the ultimate boyfriends)

OH CRAP THATS RIGHT I WAS WATCHING THE EPISODE

obviously like, empathy, this completely sucks and they're absolutely gonna convict name because it'll be in some record somewhere that he worked for whatshisface, so theyll decide that name was either trying to take down his boss so he could have the power, or that he was still working for his boss but mis-aimed and was actually trying to shoot kang and sailom

but also... jail boyfriends

thats it? that's freaking it?

okay then bro, jeez

that was truly something

OHMYOHMYOHMYOHMYOHMY

GUI34ERIHSGDJOIPE4JRPIOSJGHJO4B3EHIRSDGHIRBEVHDFGHVE4RD

GO48ERIDHGJIVOUERUODGOHVE0IROUHSD0UGHOUIVO0ERHOUD0UHOUG0UVHOGEWHR80DSUHGUOV0U9EHRU-SHDG9U-VHE9U-RHIDS0Y9G9Y-UVWEHPIS-9UDGHP-UV9PEWUS9DPH-GUVPH 9-UEHSD9JGIHPVJ9EIHR9SDIG90JVIE

IM NOT BEING DELUSIONAL IT ACTUALLY IS COMING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND IT'S INITIATED BY GUY????

AAAAA THIS IS AMAZING

I so hope they kiss twice there, that would be awesome, then I could put the patpran rooftop kiss soundtrack behind it like I did with soundwin

GUIERJDKFBGNOVIERLNDGOVJD NEXT WEEK IS THE FINAL EPISODE WHICH WILL BE EMOTIONAL AND ITLL ALSO BE A GRADUATION EPISODE WHICH WILL BE EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL, B U T GUYNAWA ARE FINALLY GONNA KISS SO THE PAIN WILL BE WORTH IT HOLY FRICK

I HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK NOW???? A WHOLE-ASS WEEK???? GEORJDSKGB HOW

[freakshowrefugee]

Bayonetta 3 Spoilers

Another aspect of this tragedy of a story that bothers me is the fact that Bayonetta herself, as a character, seems... unaware of the storyline she is in?

Let me explain what I mean: BayoLuka is endgame (let's ignore the MANY problems inherent to that fact for the sake of the length of this post), so let us take a look at how Bayonetta speaks with and about Luka in this game. The way I perceived it (since subjectivity and all) is that she viewed him as something of a troublesome child, annoying and inconvenient, not fit to be taken seriously. What does she do when Luka flies face first into danger? She dismisses it and leaves the perfect stranger Viola to tail him and make sure he doesn't fall face first into lava. How does she react when the "big reveal" of Luka being the beast happens? Again, she is really fucking dismissing, all things considered. "Oh, he'll come back, he always does", that sort of thing (my time-line might be a bit off but I refuse to subject myself to this story again so please bear with me). The most engaged she gets is when she jokingly(?) threatens Viola to make sure SHE keeps him safe. Again, at this point in the story Viola is still a stranger, and Bayo still viewes her as a bit of a, for lack of a better term, noob.

Now let's turn to how Bayo interacts with Jeanne. The goofy-ass smile she has when Jeanne drives in to take her away from danger, the way she gets visibly enraged when Jeanne is captured by Kraken, and also, she follows a fleeing Kraken in order to save Jeanne. It's in the way she looks at her and calls her name here... (again maybe I'm biased, but there is undeniable affection). It's the small things, like when she glances back to make sure Jeanne is following when they enter the Gates of Hell, or when they look to each other when Viola is dumping exposition on our asses.

But maybe they are just very close, gal-pals one might say. We don't see enough to be able to say for sure what the nature of their relationship is. Fair, but we see LESS from Luka. There is no in-universe reason why BayoLuka get together, that's my issue. If we had spent time with the two of them like we do BayoJeanne, I don't think people would have been so bothered.

Fucking hell, when she gets to the Tokyo version of BayoJeanne she reaches for Jeanne first! The alternate universe version of herself is apparently uninteresting compared to Jeanne, and when she figures out that she has been killed, she gets angry (arguably angrier than Tokyo Bayo, who is so vengeful she takes over the gameplay in order to beat the shit out of whatever cloud-themed entity of the day we have going on). The interactions with Egyptian Jeanne don't even need me to point out the subtext. The point us that every time a Jeanne is present, player Bayo goes IN.

I'm well aware that this is also, definitely, copium for yours truly. I'm just trying to verbalize why the story causes such strong emotional reactions. This is the INTEGRAL problem with the writing in Bayonetta 3—the cutscenes do not feel like a continuance of the gameplay. Oh, did you beat the shit of this cloud and saved the Bayonetta of that universe in gameplay? Well tough fucking luck because she gets necked as soon as the cutscene starts. It's like there were two writing teams at Platinum with two very different stories in mind and they keep struggling for control throughout the length of the game. The result is a catastrophe, pretty much. A catastrophe that leaves me feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.

But the good news is that skipping the cutscenes pretty much creates a new story for the game. There's still flubs, definitely, but in my opinion this is the superior way of enjoying the game.

I wonder if any of this is coherent, lmao. At least it makes me feel better to rant.

[purplepixel]

OK I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS:

The 2012 turtle's reaction to the chris bradford finale foreshadowed how I'd feel towards the season 4 finale.

And idk if this was done on purpose, or if this was accidental and just bad writing. Spoilers for the last two episodes of 2012 TMNT season 4.

Every season in TMNT 2012 has the characters occasionally watching an old cartoon that will often foreshadow or tell the audience what this tmnt episode will be about. We get to see the finale of season 4's cartoon show, the Chris Bradford show, in the second to last episode. At first glance, it seems to foreshadow its own episode, Requiem.

Hero character is on a building, someone falls off a building. That's the common denominator of both the Chris Bradford final episode and the episode requiem. Unlike the episode requiem, the Chris Bradford finale is sudden with little to no pay off and has the turtles going..."that's it?"

Which is the opposite of the episode it's showcased in. The episode requiem has one of the most emotional showdowns and death where the actors, storyboarders, and animators put their heart and soul into it. I'm convinced the entire budget went to this second to last episode.

The episode after that on the other hand. The actual finale episode "Owari" is a different story. I'm gonna ignore the questionable writing choices they made to get certain characters where they needed to be in the last moments of the episode bc I have a lot of issues with that but that's not what this is about. This is about Leo and Shredders final stand off.

Actual spoiler time. Shredder should've died either after Leo almost got through to him but went ahead and stabbed him, or when the bros had shredder pinned and Donnie used the retro-mutagen. Not the moment we got.

The death we got seemed to happen...randomly? Why this moment? It was a simple attack that Leo has done before. What made this instance more special? Was it splinters word of wisdom? (Which made no goddamn sense btw) The anime esque freeze frame we get held no emotional weight. It felt simply like a "Leo was faster and stronger" moment. Which. Who cares? This is a weak character moment on both Leo and shredder. A good hero vs villain final fight should ALWAYS be more than just "they were faster/stronger". This is hero vs villain finale showdown 101.

It doesn't help that the final shot we see was unclear on what actually happened. It did not read that he died by Leo's sword at all. Which btw shouldn't have been able to happen anyways since we established that his swords can't pierce shredders heart but whatever. I'm ignoring that rn.

I'm wondering why that creative choice. Did Nickelodeon not want to show a kid killing someone? They had no problem with showing splinter being brutally stabbed on screen an episode earlier. Is it only ok if shredder kills someone? The cross fade from that one "dramatic" freeze frame shot to the next scene paired with all the other context I mentioned had me go..."thats it?" After that, I didn't care that Leo walked to the edge of the cliff and dramatically dropped shredder's helmet. Bc I was still stuck wondering "wtf happened. And also. THATS IT??" Just like the turtles reaction with the Chris Bradford finale.

So I'm wondering. Bad writing? Or was the audience supposed to feel that way towards Shredder's death? If the latter. That's a weird writing choice. Why do that to your big villain of FOUR seasons? And if the former. Well this is 2012 lmao. With every good writing moment you get an equally bad or worse writing moment. Just kinda sucks this happened on arguably the best season of 2012

[3416]

Listening to good luck babe! by Chapelle Roan and can't get this brain rot several years in the future 1634 AU out of my head because it's just SO Mitch coded. I've never understood why all the fanfics have Mitch as this super out there confident gay when he's arguably the most jock like good Canadian boy that wakes up decades later and realizes oh shittt.... meanwhile Auston confident bi king has been seeing dudes on the DL for years and like lol. Lmao even get back to me when you get over yourself and realize this isn't ever going to go away idiot... good luck babe!!

i really need to get into chapelle roan... loved everything i've seen and heard, i'm just not in a music headspace rn, idk but LOVE THIS. YOU GET ITT TT T T T TTTTT

i try to cut fic characterization some slack bc we all see them differently obv, and if i put myself in the shoes of some of these writers, esp back when auston and mitch were rookies... they prob DID look different than they do now with a more fully formed picture year after year. auston more the calm/quiet/repressed one and mitch the flamboyant rookie who latched himself onto 4983242 men and was open and happy w his emotions before he kinda got smothered by the hate and media..., so i get where the initial thoughts come from but. you are absolutely RIGHT that where they actually stand as people in an rpf canon space imo is like......... mitch is heavily like Just Bros ! Just Dude Things ! Wanna spend my life around my Guys and it's where I'm happiest and most myself ! while going and following the conventional path of marrying your longtime teenage sweetheart with 2.5 kids (ok just zeus for now) in the suburbs of your hometown. auston's certainly come into his own in a lot of ways externally, which i love to interpret that as internally too... figured out what he likes and doesn't... knows himself pretty well. splits time between his fancy condo townhouse in toronto where he calls home now but ALSO in his massive ass summer mansion in arizona. best of both worlds in lots of ways.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

incoming hot take/rant about natsu and his romantic pairings and his understanding of love

gonna say something thats gonna get me in trouble

natsu has more objectively romantic moments (and i would even dare to say romantic chemistry) with lisanna than lucy.

now, with that being said, i like n*lu more than i like n*li (i do still like n*li tho. dont know why pol hate it sm. its cute!). but like. on a romantic level, natsu has veryyyyy little moments w lucy. he has way more emotional, powerful, and deep moments with lucy. but they’re not romantic.

but as its been shown especially in 100 yq, natsu doesnt really have a grasp on romantic love. he doesn’t get flustered or blush around lucy (for the most part), he doesn’t understand that lucy clearly has romantic feelings for him, and i think the most obvious piece of evidence of this is in 100 yq when that lady (please forgive me i rly have a hard time keeping up w all the villains) cast that spell that made snow dolls out of “the woman held closest in ur heart” or whatever. for gray, just juvia appeared. for natsu, literally every girl in ft appeared.

i just feel like even in the very small moments natsu and lisanna have, and as insignificant as they are in recent ft, natsu always seems a little nervous/shy. at least in old ft. now, its also very obvious that these moments of awkward natsu who may or may not have a crush on lisanna are waaaaaay less frequent now. but in the very beginning of ft when we first learn ab lisanna was literally the most romantic interaction ive seen natsu have with anyone. and i would argue this is the most romantic interaction his character has EVER had. in the whole series.

now, im not an idiot. i know nalu will be end game. as they should be!!! they have arguably the strongest bond of literally anyone in the whole show. u cannot deny their insane compatibility and how they just make sense! i also know that natsu loves lucy more than ANYONE (ok maybe other than happy. theyre prob tied). but i think natsu doesn’t differentiate this from romantic love. YET.

i think something will definitely go down where natsu has this huge revelation that he not only loves lucy but is IN love with her.

but for right now, the most romantic interest natsu has expressed with another person is lisanna. im standing by that.

there should also be something said for the fact i feel like mashima dumbed natsu down over the years???? like in the beginning he was playful, optimistic, brash, and fun loving. i think he is still all of these things but mashima has steadily made natsu less and less understanding of social queues and more socially unaware. idk if that makes sense.

^but i feel like if u asked ep 1 natsu the difference between love and romantic love, he would be able to tell u. now, i dont think he understands the difference. i do think this will change, but for rn thats how i see it.

anyways blah blah blah. to end this senseless rant, lisanna should have stayed dead. bringing her back to life was one of the DUMBEST things ft ever did. not even bc i like n*lu better than n*li. but bc the significance that lisanna had for natsu and what she meant for his character completelyyyyy went away. his childhood gf came back from the dead and he literally could not give less of a fuck about her now lmao. its so bizarre.

ok dont hate me byeeeeee

[cookinguptales]

Okay, I’m gonna start with Freddie. Now... when the spoilers first dropped and I heard them without watching the episode, I was actually fully expecting to feel as bad for Freddie as I do for Marwa. But then I watched the episode and was like... you know, very few people would deserve what happened to Freddie here but I think he might be one of them. lmao

(Full disclosure before I start, I did go to a fairly prestigious school for many of the exact same subjects that Freddie seems to have studied. I also talk about Genji Monogatari and the Palatine Hill for fun. So I am in a very unique position to hate Freddie specifically because I went to school with so many douchebags just like him. But I will freely admit that I might be projecting.)

So, other than repeatedly just calling him “That ‘Elgin’ Marbles-Fucker” to my friends over the past week, what do I think about Freddie?

Hmm... I think Freddie’s character can actually be summed up very well by the list of activities he showed the screen. That crazy motherfucker wanted to go see The Met, The Whitney, and the Chelsea galleries in the same fucking day. That sounds like the action of an art lover until you realize that means that he’s not taking enough time to actually look at anything.

Freddie, I think, is the type to race through a gallery simply for the experience of it -- and not fully appreciate a single thing he saw there. The kind to have a conversation about an archaeological site without actually saying a damn thing. The kind to have a boyfriend without ever putting in the work to learn who he actually is.

I very strongly get the impression that Freddie grew up fairly rich and privileged and probably got a lot of things handed to him over the course of his life. He strikes me as narcissistic and self-involved while being very willing to let Guillermo shoulder a lot of the emotional load of their relationship alone, as well as being the kind of person that will flit from interest to interest without a lot of care for price or fallout because he’s always been able to.

I do think that some of this may be the writers just writing the most British character alive and some American writers just always associating British people with poshness but... yeah, there were a lot of markers for privilege in him, from his job to his attitude to the way he carries himself that I think are difficult to overlook.

The narcissism is pretty self-explanatory, tbh. Nandor used hypnosis to make both Freddies be cool with the fact that they were cloned, but he didn’t make them get along with each other. He certainly didn’t make Freddie 1 cheat on Guillermo with Freddie 2. So we’re already working with a character here who’d rather spend time with himself than any other person, is perfectly happy to have academic conversations where he just goes in circles with a person word-for-word agreeing with him (which would be literal hell for me, but I digress), and who doesn’t mind cheating on his partner at least once, arguably twice.

Freddie is oddly like Nandor, in a way... I don’t think that Freddie ever set out to hurt Guillermo in this episode. He just... didn’t think about how his actions would affect anyone but himself. Nandor treated Freddie like a shiny, but Freddie treated Guillermo like one, too. He moved on from Guillermo and cheated on him and really ignored his feelings for the whole episode because he didn’t think it would be a big deal. Freddie just approaches everything in his life with this surface-level interest that he never actually commits to. It’s a happiness without true satiation and a sort of bland niceness without kindness.

He just kind of... alights on things like a butterfly. He seems nice enough and people like him and he’s happy enough to be there, but he’s ultimately going to fly away because at heart, that butterfly does not give a fuck about you.

I’m also fascinated by the way that Freddie approached this whole trip. While it was ostensibly a trip to go visit his boyfriend, he really made it about what he wanted to do 90% of the time and it’s not even really made clear if he spent any intimate alone time with Guillermo whatsoever. (And I’m not even talking about sex -- I mean genuinely any quiet time where he actually got to enjoy Guillermo’s presence without distractions.) 

He was just as happy to do his list of NYC stuff with someone else, he was okay ditching Guillermo to hang out with other people (including himself), and he showed a remarkable lack of interest in Guillermo’s feelings, worries, or even his hobbies. Like... it really felt more like this was him gallivanting halfway across the world for a NYC vacation than it was ever actually about Guillermo. Which makes me so sad for him, tbh.

And I’ll get into this more in another essay but just... it didn’t seem like he was that invested in Guillermo. He never seemed that intimate with him, never really listened to what he was saying (hello, showing up at someone’s house without warning them??), and dropped him like he was nothing the second a new shiny showed up. It makes sense that he’d use Guillermo as an excuse to visit NYC, but why even carry on this relationship for all these months in the first place...?

My theory is that Guillermo was a very convenient person for Freddie to be around. He spends a lot of his time talking him up, he’s always learning about Freddie’s interests, and because he’s lying to him for the entirety of their relationship, he never really asks Freddie to do any emotional heavy lifting. So I do think that Freddie likes Guillermo. He has affection for him. But Freddie is also on a fundamental level okay with a surface-level relationship that flatters him while not actually asking anything of him. This relationship was always innately casual to him.

I think it says a lot that by far the most successful relationship Freddie has is with himself. Not only does this feed into his narcissistic tendencies, it is also the easiest possible relationship you could ever have. There are no arguments. You don’t have to learn about the other person. You don’t have to care about someone else’s feelings. You never have to do anything you don’t want to do. You can just have these boring, surface-level conversations where the two of you speak in circles without actually saying a damn thing.

Honestly, I just think that Freddie is one of those selfish douchebags who seems nice until you realize they’re not actually talking to you specifically. They’re just... talking. And saying vaguely nice things. This kind of person is not remotely dependable; they have all the trappings of niceness without actually caring about you. You are basically the same as talking about the weather to them. They’re happier if it’s a sunny day, but it’s not exactly a make or break situation for them either way.

Freddie never actually cared about Guillermo. He didn’t care about Nandor, either. He didn’t even really care about traveling the world studying art; he sure gave that up quickly enough and he wasn’t exactly studying the art in NYC to start with. He really just cared about himself and living an easy and unexamined life that allows him to go from interest to interest without actually demanding anything from him.

And some of that is probably that he was designed to be a plot device, but some of that is just... Freddie. That “Elgin” Marbles-Fucking Douchebag. lmao.

[evilwickedme]

Do you have autism headcanons for the Bats? Or any superhero really

Oh my god absolutely! But also I did misread this and started talking about all my superhero headcanons so now I have all these headcanons and nowhere to put them lmao

The gimme is Tim. Look me in the eye and tell me he doesn't have autistic swag, I dare you. That boy pulls BECAUSE of his autism. You just know the hyperfocus is strong with this one. He gets into a case and learns everything there is to know about it. He'll talk your ear off about photography and you won't even mind because it's the most animated you've seen him in a solid like six weeks. His sense of humor is also so fucking weird. If you're close friends with an autistic person you know exactly what I mean. We're the funniest people on earth but if you don't know the exact thing we're referencing it makes zero sense. That's okay, we know we're funny. The rest of the world is weird for always reacting strangely to our jokes is all. Also he gets migraines when he gets sensory overload

Bruce also has autistic swag, but his just makes him awkward. He's less likely to hyperfocus accidentally, but you betcha detective work IS his special interest. y'all seen elementary? He's like that version of Sherlock, he's just made it his business to know everything there is to know about Being Batman. His social skills are in the pits, but his masking game is strong - you think Tim's awkward around people, but if Bruce were to unmask he'd just become a shut in. The Brucie personality IS masking fight me

Damian is also autistic and the pickiest eater you'll ever meet. Do you know what's it like being a picky eater AND a vegetarian? Cause I do and it very simply means you never have anything to eat when you're not at home. His list of safe foods is short and consists mostly of middle eastern food. His social skills are as bad as his father but he simply never learned to mask and doesn't understand the point. He gets easily overwhelmed by Bad Textures, whether food or clothing, and (like me) the ensuing meltdown looks like extreme anger. Poor kid simply never learned to regulate his emotions :/

Also not what you asked but you'll pry bipolar!Jason and ADHD!Dick from my cold dead hands

As for other heroes it REALLY depends on how he's written but Peter Parker being autistic is absolutely a consideration. In every iteration ever he has GAD, but there are absolutely versions of him that Need To Be Squished Under A Weighted Blanket Right Now. He manages to channel his hyperfocus energy into experiments and his hyper empathy is exactly what would make him a great teacher and mentor to other heroes LET HIM SETTLE DOWN MARVEL STOP RUINING HIS HAPPINESS (@stackthedeck has SEVERAL rants on the subject and he's so right for that)

Reed Richards is currently being written as autistic by Ryan North, I don't even need to explain this one

Not technically a superhero but arguably superhero media, I hc Willow Rosenberg from Buffy as autistic. She's had multiple SpIns and hyperfixations in her life, but computers and magic are her longest standing ones. I honestly think a lot of Willow's insecurities about how people perceive her can easily be read as her learning to mask but being frustrated that she's not being her authentic self

Well that's it for now hit me up for Jewish hcs cause I literally was two paragraphs in before I realized that's not what you asked for

[snailvee]

metaltango ramblings dedicated to @albertbreasker <3 this got uh. long lmao

they met at arguably the most vulnerable time in leon's life. the intro in re4r really shows how how fucked up he was, forced to sign a government contract and put into military training almost immediately after raccoon city. i think a lot about the contract specifically bc not only did they not want leon going around spilling about what really happened in raccoon, but they also held sherry over him as leverage AND he was only 21. i can't begin to imagine the amount of shit he agreed to then that follows him for the rest of his career, if not his life

this post talks about how leon was not only just thrown into military training, but special forces training, as well as how his looks and being called "pretty boy" by krauser had the other recruits treating him (go read the whole post its really good)

anyways as hard as krauser was on leon, leon distinctly says it's exactly what he needed at the time. something intense enough to rid his mind of all thoughts about raccoon, no mater how brutal that something was. the clip of him and krauser sparring in the re4r intro is so filled with passion, leon is practically snarling at him and the movement of his hair and body just conveys his emotions so well, and having it as a parallel to their knife drill fight later in the game is just. yeah

(self harm mention) i wrote about this a bit in my leon character study fic but i have a hc that because krauser's training kept leon's mind off of raccoon and therefore he thought of it as a positive thing, sparring with and consequently being hurt by krauser became dangerously synonymous with comfort in leon's mind. seeing his signature knife made him calm instead of fearful, even aimed at his throat. he didn't pay much attention to it until the thought crossed his mind to take his own blade to his skin, wondering if it would have the same effect. as grueling as the training was there were still times when he was alone with his thoughts, unable to seek the "comfort" krauser gave him, and he itched for a way to take his mind away during those times too. but i think if he did try it, just pressing his knife lightly against his own arm, that's what would make him snap out of it. it makes him aware of the twisted logic and after that, he doesn't try again. doesn't even consider it. but that doesn't mean he stops throwing himself at krauser while sparring or pressing down on old bruises in the safety of his room.

operation javier is definitely a shift in their dynamic. leon is no longer krauser's rookie to train, but his partner on this mission. they already have a lot of history - krauser is too observant to not notice leon's strange reactions to their sparring - and spending that much time together, even out on the field, was bound to lead to some strange conversations, if not more (yes i'm saying they fucked in that jungle leave me along /lh)

i can only imagine leon noticing how jack seems to change. how he's less critical of B.O.W.'s, even on their mission to eradicate one. how he seems to face their enemies with a sort of awe instead of nothing but the will to take them down. how he closes off the father they get into the mission, becoming someone different than leon had known during training. i can only imagine leon ending that mission with a bitter taste in his mouth, knowing something was wrong with krauser, and not just physically. i can only imagine him getting the news of krauser's death. i can only imagine him clenching his fists as he recalls the last time he saw krauser, gritting his teeth as he recalls the last time he saw krauser when he was really himself. i can only imagine leon trying to come to terms with him being gone.

their reunion is fitting, almost. it carries the same intensity that pulled them together years ago. seeing the knife still does something to leon, although the painful realization that it was buried in luis's back quickly covers it. i mentioned the knife drill before, but it really is such an interesting and well done detail in my mind. krauser isn't just there to fight leon - he's there to remind him of the past. this only extends into krauser building a "battlefield" for leon, purpossefully bringing back more memories of leon's time training under him.

this is pure hc/shipping territory so feel free to skip or indulge me if you want but. reuniting with the man who nicknamed him "pretty boy" by seeing him stab the man who'd been incessantly flirting with him every hour in the short time they'd known each other? god. there's no way leon had the time or capacity to process seeing the man he'd thought was dead for the past two years standing in front of him, let alone him turning into the thing they used to fight against, or having to kill him with his own hands. everything happened so fast that it was almost like krauser was never even back. but after the mission is over, once the adrenaline rush is gone and leon is safe, it all hits him again. he relives every single moment of his sickly reunion with krauser in one night and has no idea what to do about it. not a fucking clue.

but before all that, there is luis. (no i'm not sorry for putting serennedy in here it's my post) luis, bleeding out on the floor, hand still holding his gun shakily in the air. leon doesn't have the time to come to terms with this either - not the strange feelings luis stirred up inside him and certainly not him taking his last breath in front of leon, cigarette in his mouth and words sounding desperate on his tongue when he says, "people can change, right leon?"

for now leon can only move forward with a key in his hand and the knowledge that luis is saving him and ashley one last time ("he was worried about you... until the end" still gets me) just like krauser's, luis's death will visit him again, but not now.

before their final fight, there's krauser's tent. the picture has been talked about again and again but what am i supposed to do, not mention how krauser had a picture of rookie leon with "i'm waiting" scrawled out on the bottom? not mention how it was left out with the recording for leon to find? how in the photo, leon still wears his rpd uniform? how there's such a clear "before" and "after" splitting his life in two?

the recording is also interesting to me, particularly in how krauser words things. talking about a battlefield, saying it's somewhere just for them, how he views what will happen next as a conclusion to operation javier. he does everything in his power to push leon back into the past, whether it be training or the operation. he wants leon confused, conflicted, unable to put himself wholly into the present fight because a part of him is stuck in the past (it doesn't work).

and then there's the fight itself, in all it's glory. the area constructed by krauser himself to remind leon of the training grounds. the taunts, the insults, the smattering of praise, the "pretty blues" and "pretty boy's". krauser's transformation, hulking form looming above leon. the way krauser knows when he's been bested and doesn't hesitate to tell leon that he trained him well. the way leon is made to use the knife he knows so well. and of course, the idea that krauser was supposed to guide leon's hand with his own, but it happen because of krauser's transformed arms.

leon kills the infected. it's his job. but i doubt it ever gets easier to kill something with a face you used to know.

[rachelclowny]

fontaine megathread

full of spoilers.. duh

archon quest act i

they're referring to the eremites. couldn't leave sumeru without one last sprinkle of racism lmao.. fr love how this was one of the first things i saw in fontaine. "see something, say something." STFU!!!

the fontaine VAs fucking STEPPED UP!! like why is lyney's VA so good.. the decision to open the quest with three of the most off-putting and unnerving characters so far.. lyney truly sounds deceiving, it really felt like you couldn't trust him. and then lynette is just ominous

and then furina.. miss focalors, the star of the mf show. whatever they're paying the VA is not enough because she's incredible. bravado, insecurity, instability, fear, hunger.. all the emotions are portrayed so well

fuck them for this one.. THERES SO MUCH TO UNPACK. i mean, supposedly teyvat has flooded before, this would not be the first. they're so unsubtle with the noah's ark and biblical themes. AND ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE TEAR?? THE LYNEY PARALLEL?? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN

that moment when u realize teyvat is world without catholic guilt

lynette is so me. we both got that selective mutism rizz <333

YEAH WE GET IT, WE GET IT!! no subtly smh

the traveler bringing this up as if they didn't directly contradict each other. also another point. if the oratrice relies off belief in justice, not necessarily the archon, could that be applicable to other archon related things? this is feels odd because sumeru and mondstadt's people's entire philosophies rely off of wisdom and freedom respectively, yet they hold the "weakest" archons. and then there's inazuma, where modern citizens hate the raiden's vision of eternity, yet the raidens are arguably the strongest we've met yet

the way i fucking screamed i cannot believe we got skirk name drop

if this is actually meant to be foreshadowing i'm gonna laugh so hard

i'm genuinely so confused by the whole neuvillette situation.. so everyone knows hes not human, but no one knows hes the hydro dragon?? what do people think he is?

the way he fucking hates her i can't breathe

i couldn't get over this why did it jumpscare me.. paimon is funny again god bless.

did she happen to write 2021 aoty if i can't have love, i want power

insert speech about how hydro is truly about the split of ego, how someone presents or is perceived is always different from how they truly are or think. fr tho her design is SO GOOD. THE EYES!! THE TEARDROP ELEMENTS!! THE JELLYFISH ASS HAIR!! THE SILLY HAT AND FRILLS!! after anemo, i already feel as if furina's character aligns most with her vision holders

i've already seen everyone talking about this but we were literally hanging out with childe at lunchtime can we chill /j

with all that being said tho, i get it.. why did they lie did they just not expect this to be brought up its gotta be literal public knowledge

"SHES YOUR FATHER?" im gonna puke im so gay im so gay im so gay im so gay

cannot believe they went there. so fucking dark. kudos to hoyoverse.. anyways lynette come here my love i love u sm i will protect u

fr tho i loved the fact that we had a real prelude for this region.. i think the excuse to make something a little more isolated and establishing in it's plot is already super beneficial for whats to come. we got a lot more character exposition, and even the time to install these cool archon quest specific mechanics. i loved solving everything, it was all SO fun but they also got to have these really emotional beats, i feel this is some of their best pacing yet.

imo the last half of sumeru really helped hoyoverse find their stride, fontaine so far has similar storytelling energy to the whole heist bit of sumeru.

the best thing however might've been the SCORE??? they went out of their league with this one, it's the most fitting, noticable and influential instrumental work they've done in an quest imo

[madstronaut]

baby's first konig longfic

(masterlist of my FaFiCoWriMo rambles at the Fuck It We Ball link below! looking forward to seeing this become a long untameable monstrous ouroboros of a list)

omg t h i s f i c. IT BARELY HAS ANY SMUT IN IT till the end and it is one of the hottest konig fics ive ever read (and honestly I think he takes home the trophy for man most thirsted over in COD fandom, sorry ghost but you’re all winners in my panties i mean heart I SAID HEART)

Reading: Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus

idk wot it is - the tenderness and purity of their first few interactions? the forbiddenness of stumbling upon a private radio channel when they’re technically Not On The Same Side? the little GIFTS they give each other? How he can always find her despite her literally being a topranked sniper? the way their physical meet-cute is him literally catching her in his arms?! the knowledge maus can snipe him at any moment and yet konig willingly stepping into her crosshairs?  LLBLBLLLBLGLGB

That last “She’s pretty” comment for me was the emotional equivalent of stabbing me in the heart with a roughshod serrated knife in how cute it was (btw let me warn you if you haven’t already gotten the memo folx my whole brand is being aggressively encouraging and excited over fanfic and writers in an increasingly unhinged yet polite manner<3) 

in true konig fashion i love how excited he is that maus might be the literal death of him and that he would die happy if she was the one to snipe him lmao

also can anyone else relate to doing a private eye style deepdive into facebook archives stalking and searching for info about your crush and memorizing it like konig did here for mausy lmao

"It’s pathetic, the only place he feels any sort of peace is at war."

chef’s kiss, love this line. brief, but tells you so much about konig’s headspace

“A younger part of him is jealous. The older part smothers that part down as he takes in the view.”

I love this line!!! ive wondered sometimes about the science and why of attraction and maus basically living konig’s dream i feel must play a big part of why they’re so drawn to each other...and ofc no explanation needed for why she is attracted to konig because everyone is, undisputed law of nature, go look it up on wikipedia and jstor, thank you no questions at this moment

“There’s a creek at the bottom, and interesting flora marks the cliffs all the way down. He wonders what wildlife drinks from the stream down there and if there are any decent caves he could find an opening to.”

have u ever thought about what you or someone else might have been in another life, in alternate timeline? I can see biologist konig fitting in quite well in civilian life &lt;;3 LEMME DAYDREAM ABOUT ALL MY SOLDIER BOYS SAFELY RETURNING HOME FAR FROM OR NEVER HAVING TO ENDURE THE FOG AND TERROR AND HORROR OF WAR OKAY

“The exposed rock of the ravine flames to life with amazing browns and reds, and the stone sparkles like rubies and tiger’s eye stones as the sun's rays catch it.”

also sidenote the way the scenery is described here would make me want to go take a photo and download it and save it as my wallpaper; so descriptive and lovely i could see everything so clearly <3

“The sun is setting behind her. She’s very far away, but his skin prickles to life knowing that he’s being watched.”

I also love this usual role reversal of maus being the predator watching her prey (though is he arguably her prey if he wants to be caught? lol anyway putting aside the essay on existential questions in fanfic-)

It’s a beautiful place, really. It’s not such a bad place to die, he thinks. She’s a good shot. She’ll do it quickly. Nothing to fret about,really. It’s his own fault, anyways. 

I am obsessed with their chemistry but most of all something about this powerful man fully placing his life in her hands just does it for me

“I’ll bite, soldier.” She says, hurriedly, like someone might walk in on their little game. Like the teacher is about to find the two kissing in a supply closet at the school.

*me reading this line, giggling madly*

He sits down on the ground and opens his legs as wide as they’ll comfortably go and rests his cheek in his hand propped on his thigh. If he’s going to die, he’s going to give her a pretty show.

me: okay slut

also me: ✨o k a y slut✨

I also love how he’s imagining what she would be doing/how she’s reacting all based off what I assume is the equivalent of a shitty driver’s license photo he saw of her 🥰

i also feel like getting warning shots as foreplay IS so konig-coded (yes im fully aware as i type this that this man has so much fanlore, fan hcs, fanfic, faneverything out there despite not even being in the storyline of the main campaign lmao)

I also love the flip to maus’ POV - though when she notes how outrageous it is for him to keep his shiny knife on him i bet you my future firstborn that it’s to get her attention <3

also <3 sniper candy <3

also we love a girlboss who asks >100x to shoot him on sight lmao

It’s been months since the ravine and she’s seen him just about everywhere she’s been. When SpecGru was gathering intel on KorTacs drug affiliations, she saw him in the haunted deserts of Sonora, Mexico where she lies in the dirt redder than blood and coyotes sing her to sleep. She gazes down at him atop crumbling 16th-century Byzantine marble when she picks off the guards of a weapons supplier in Belgrade, Serbia. In the ancient and verdant bamboo forest of Yibin, China, hunting down spy affiliations, she camps across a creek from him for a night.

“we’ve got to stop meeting like this!” - konig, probably

He would’ve been a good sniper, in another life. If he wasn’t built like the trees she climbs for her shots.

mausy your crush is showing 🤭

He walks like a monster with three legs (and at some point about three months into their little game, she touches herself thinking about that third leg.

i mean honestly? give maus a medal for holding out for three months before succumbing, damn

The secret stays between them and their radios become the divining rods of close encounters.

secret forbidden relationship is one of my fave tropes <3

Mostly it’s just breathing on each line, mostly it’s just-

“König?”

“Maus?”

“Mhm.”

“Hmm.”

honestly this sounds more intimate than sex

She knows she should get a shrink or a good fuck to stop fucking thinking about him like this, but sometimes he whispers a joke into his radio and she laughs, and sometimes she tells him about the book she’s been reading, and sometimes he shows her his favorite knife tricks, and sometimes she tells him stories of before she was in the military and he always laughs and asks questions to show he’s actually engaged and he cares and-

this is so domestic and cute for warzone flirting <3

When they’re alone he’s the perfect gentleman, he gets no closer than when she reaches out to contact him first. When they’re not, it's a whole different story. He runs into the middle field like if he can just reach her, he can keep her. If he can carry back his conquest, well… kings get their war spoils, don’t they? It’s a terrible secret she keeps alive only in her heart, but she hopes one day he finally will.

mausy gettin bingo on all our fave kinks today, apparently

maus picking up on his knife skills and noticing his anxiety via the shaking hands (and that they don’t shake at all around her) is just peak PEAK PEAK PEAK fanfic vibes. feeling safe around someone is one of the biggest green flags in the universe and a gift <3

 It’s a shame, but she’s a little happy that it’ll be König, her cat, that’ll catch her corpse.

honestly these two were made for each other lmao

ok THE SCENE WHERE THE FIRST TIME THEY REALLY, REALLY MEET? HE KILLS FOR HER? LITERALLY PUTS HIS ARMS OUT FOR HER TO CATCH HER FALL? 

And the first thing he says is a promise. A promise of help. A promise of aid.

I was like speechless with joy and giddiness for a good minute or two reading this whole scene lmao SO SATISFYING esp with konig’s lil gasp when she falls into his arms <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 UGH PLS PAPS CAN I GIVE YOU A MEDAL??? A HUG??? A KISS???? MY UNDYING LOVE AND DEVOTION??? well in lieu of all this I’ll just give your fic multiple visits and so much rambling <3

also their first meetcute THEY EXCHANGE GIFTS????? HOW FUCKING CUTE ARE THEY GOD 

He has created, against all odds, something beautiful and delicate out of a brutal tool and doomed material.

so this absolutely stunning construction of a sentence pretty much sums up why I love COD fandom/fanfic writers so much..

I forget where I read this somewhere on this hellsite but it went something like “it’s subversive to write these men made to die/made for war, made to be loved instead” and reminds me of one of my favorite quotes that I stumbled on a random reddit Q&A 

“I get discouraged sometimes - just like everyone. I question whether my music/life/work matters at all.

The danger is letting other people define your soul's worth. Sometimes folks will like what you do, other times they'll hate it.

But I continually remind myself that I do NOT matter as a result of what I do, I matter because of who I AM. I am not a "human doing" but a "human being. " I matter simply because I was made in the image of the unmade maker, and I am loved by Love.”

“I am not a human doing, but a human being” 

“I am made in the image of love, and I am loved by Love”

“we are, against all odds, something beautiful and delicate, created out of brutal tool and doomed material” 

these words touch such a deep and core and unspeakably true part of me - that i forget often, that i find hard to believe, that i struggle to remember and cling to - and tbh one of the most frequent places I find this much-needed encouragement is in FANFICTION! <3

fanfic writers you are truly some of the most beautiful people on this planet &lt;3

anyway yeah, fanfic as therapy is a helluva drug and so fucking real

 if I could give all my beloved writers a diploma i would pay a calligrapher to write this gold leaf ink or some shit and put on my best lipstick and smooch it all over and print it out on vellum for you all <3

ANYWAY WHERE TF WAS I- o yes, simping over both maus and konig

When he turns to go she thinks how much his hands must’ve hurt to make this little thing 

this is so real; everytime I try my hand at sewing/mending (and i got tiny hands yall) for an extended period of time my fingers always end up so crampy in a uniquely painful way

i also get big “gift of the magi by o. henry” (truly one of my favorite short stories of all time) vibes from this exchange <3

(tl;dr: here, my heart, let me cut out and gift you my heart - oshit what’s that? your heart? *scrambles to catch and not break it*)

cos honestly on one level how fucking hilarious that they basically exchange a piece of wood and a rock lmao but really THEY ARE GIVING SOMETHING SO SPECIAL TO EACH OTHER <333333

The next time she sees him, about a week later, she sees him sharpening his massive field knife with the tiny whetstone on his comically large thigh, and in response, she thumbs at the wooden effigy in her pocket. They laughed into their radios to each other. 

ok how fucking hilarious and sexy that they are basically watching each other finger each other…..s' gifts

the final dialogue in chapter two needs to be in the merriam-webster dictionary under “flirting 101: peak examples”

but also omg THE EXTRA LITTLE GIFTS SHE LEAVES BEHIND FOR KONIG? HER FLINTING A HEART AND HIM SHATTERING IT IMMEDIATELY IN HIS GIANT-ASS SEXY ASS HANDS AND LEAVING HIMSELF BLEEDING AS PENANCE????? HIM IMAGINING COOKING FOR HER AND READING ALL TEH BOOKS SHE RECS HIM??? Honestly him musing about actually fucking her at the end is the LEAST sexy part of all this and the line about him aching to make her mewl did…things to me

if I could distill the maus x konig energy here into an drink, I think I could run up everest naked without breakin a sweat

The man is quick, but König is quicker, taking off through the snow like he did as a child. Running with reckless abandon, long legs carrying him faster and further than anyone else when he and his cousins would play capture the flag at his Oma’s house in Gauso. 

i love papa’s (really need to find a better nickname for writer while I write this lol) way of capturing like…the sense of child-like wonder/safety and domesticity you return to when you are in love/find yourself in the presence (physical or not) of someone you love in her writing, also why i really love this fic so much

Slicing that man clean between his ribs like a lion strikes a lamb was the second most satisfying experience of his life, greatly eclipsed by the settling of her weight against his chest when she trusted him enough to jump into his arms. 

*chanting to summon my talented fellow konig simps to draw fanart of this scene*

“You big, everywhere? I mean, with hips like those… ”

“...” Fuck, bad time to get a boner.

SIR.

hast thou not heard the term “video killed the radio star”???? you’re alone and miles away only talking via radiowaves, LITERALLY THE BEST TIME TO GET A BONER???? smh unless ofc the best time for konig is when he’s with maus &lt;3

“…he’d been chasing a little prayer in her shape. He wouldn’t have considered it ‘done’ when he gave it to her but-

Her warmth was still in his fingers, her beautiful eyes trained on him, her fantastic form somehow devoid of his blood or his filth in his rescue attempt, well. He had been praying, hadn’t he? It’s only right to pay tithing to the thing you worship. He gave her the figure, and he did so with the only real regret being that he couldn’t give her more and that he almost sullied her perfection with his violence.

also men near-worshipping the women they simp for is also a huge kink of mine (i mean whose isn’t it? also i hurt my brain trying to discern if that last sentence i wrote made sense but college was a long tiem ago for me soooo)

And to top it all off, when he wrenched himself away from her, heart heavy and entirely certain that she would never, could never, follow- she called him back and reciprocated. 

can confirm, reciprocated feelings is an indescribable feeling, war on drugs would’ve been game over day 1 if it was fought with requited feelings

When he turns away it is because his brain cannot comprehend a world in which she walks away with him.

well, snipe me right in the heart why dont you papi! (again, still need to find a different nickname for writer)

And in fairness, he would rather die than admit his treachery, not out of any misplaced moral but instead out of precaution for her safety.

honestly, husband goals

konig’s dream is p e r f e c t i o n “I love and trust you and feel safe enough to put my life into your thighshands, even if that means you’ll take it”

“Like dovetail joints, a great carpenter must have made them to fit together. There must be a God, and he must have made her to perfectly fit beside (and dare he hope, inside?) her. 

The only thing older than war to mankind is intimacy. You need soldiers for war, you need men for soldiers, and you need love to make those men. “

“He is remembering how to be human, to be a man and not a soldier, and he smiles back into her mouth.”

“She is giving him total control. Complete power and without hesitation. In her teary eyes, he sees a soldier’s trust, firm and unwavering. Ever faithful. Unquestioningly and genuinely she believes the man she’s at the mercy of will make her need no mercy. “

once again paps (yes yes need new nickname for writer, stfu mads) just dropping literary masterpieces casually

“König,” her eyes glaze over with worry. It’s a dangerous game they’re playing and they both know it. “Are you sure you want me?” She whispers, lips meeting the shell of his ear, he feels her fever pitch skin even through the fabric of his mask. His heart aches and he’s so angry with himself that she could even ask that. As if there were ever any questions. As if he has ever wanted anything else in his life like he wants this. As if there is anything else to want. As if there is anything else. 

Truly every beloved’s hopeful query and every lover’s debt to happily answer <3

 When he wakes up in his cold barracks, decidedly alone and not in between her thighs, he pounds the bed in frustration.ly ok the mood whiplash when i laughed out loud at konig pounding bed with his fists cos hes grumpy and horny

Not so dissimilar to the bride-stealing traditions his Oma had told him about as a boy.

damn oma what stories you be tellin to children lmao

though I AM recalling a medicinal anthropology class I took in college that was absolutely fascinating - we did touch on bride-napping as an actual thing in hmong culture (though from what I learned it has less IRL dubcon and more elopement vibes)

The fantasy of her is potent and life-consuming, but he is also viscerally aware that it is just that. A fantasy.

konig, thinking this, as he lives out most of his actual fantasies lmao

It is not real and despite his choking desire to be with her, he is not entirely sure she wants him.

ah yes, ‘idiots in love,’ an absolute banger of a trope

He wants so desperately to just be a fucking person for her. A person allowed weakness, a person allowed good-morning kisses, a person allowed terrible flirting, a person allowed to sit in the same room, a person allowed to touch and savor and make better another human. Allowed to heal, not harm. Allowed to save, not slaughter.

But he is a soldier, he’s not a person, and he’s not sure he ever really was a person in the first place.

The only thing he wants more than to have her is for her to want him. That hope is a delusion deeper than the ravine they met at, he’s sure. 

🥹🥹🥹🥹

yep just uh nothing happening over here, not crying over fanfic what -how dare you insinuate-

He feels no shame when he wraps his arms around the bunched comforter on his chest, imagining it’s a slight body he faithfully cradles.

*tripping, stumbling, running to pay for a custom body pillow big enough for konig to hug for his comfort* (not for me, would be too big anyways)😉😏

no literally ive thought about it i might have to do olympic-level qualifying gymnastics stretching to fit someone of his stature anyway it’s not like i made to-scale stick figure models doodled out on post-its in various creative positions to work out the physics of it or anything cough

If she knew how obsessed he’s become that he cannot help himself from having dreams about her and cannot help himself from getting off to the idea that she killed him with her fucking thighs

sir. 

please. 

i am ready to beat off the hordes of other women with a sharpened stick who would find this hot and respectful af

also obsessed with this soap who chews on pencaps and macguyvers radios to look like they’re fucking (or maus just has her head in the gutter, but really girl whose isnt??? and someone really needs to tell me if this is wrong grammatically every time i type it it sounds right)

also as a certified soap simp i also just have to say, you know you’ve got it bad when you look deep into soap’s eyes… and fantasize about another man LMAO

“No thanks,” she purrs as she finally sets herself into position.

i like this subtle nod to konig after she re-tells her katze’s joke <3 ooooo reading papaver’s writing is like eating a three-course meal at your fave comfort diner<3

The early morning light hits the streets the same way it had hit the forest ground that day.

i also love this line <3 i can picture those blue-orange sunrise hours in my head and it’s so lovely because the scene is also tinged with all the complex emotions from their first meeting

He throws it up and catches it without looking at it, instead his eyes are laser-focused on Mouse.

hothothothothothothothot (i realize just typing out hot over and over again leads you to also read thot, but honestly, still tracks)

She remembers her trigger finger twitching with sinful power, she remembers choking back the insistence at killing another lonely person, devoid of their autonomy on a basic level when they signed up for a mercenary-issued ticket to hell.

this line…is too real 

“Because they are weapons of maus-destruction. ” Konig replies like it’s not the stupidest thing she’s ever heard in her goddamn life.

somewhere simon ghost riley has to suppress the urge to put down his rifle, stand up, and do a slow golf clap

Suddenly, his eyes look lived in, like someone has just put up new curtains in an abandoned house. His whole affect changes hinging on what was an irresponsible outburst on her behalf at best.

And for the first time, she does not fear a monster hunting her through the woods, silent and purposeful in his pursuit of prey. Instead, she wants to understand a man, whose eyes have lit up like a princess has just laughed when he kissed her hand.) 

*i am suppressing the feminine urge to print out paper doll cutouts of maus and konig and just hang them around random parts of my apartment making heart eyes at each other*

Maybe, it's dangerous, to wave a steak in front of a mountain lion, but what if she wants to get mauled?

these two, a match made in heaven. truly there’s someone for everyone~

also i love this COD book club that is happening; i also have a semi-regular work meeting where I hit the jackpot of getting the most chill but passionate cohorts and our goal is basically shooting the shit & talking about stuff we love and how to share it with the world like a workhours book club and I hope everyond gets to experience a little joy in the middle of 9-5 capitalist hell that is the workweek like this <3

Soap says, pulling out a well-worn copy of The Silence of the Lambs from the bag.

“He said he picked it up years ago in Polish thinking it was a cooking field guide.”

 fucking dying

how she could rest entirely on top of his chest and not touch the ground beneath them and-

once again i fucking love their inadvertent mindreading/mirroring their shared desires unbeknownst to each other. MOVE THE FUCK ASIDE, JANE AUSTEN

also if gromsko gave me “special field medicine lessons” I would probably pay to continue them

also on this note MEN ARE SOME OF THE SNOOPIEST MOST GOSSIPY BITCHES IN THE UNIVERSE CAN I GET AN AMEN? CAN I GET A HELL YEAH? CAN I GET A WHOOP WHOO-

she basks infatuated by the calamitous captivation he exhibits.

*fanning myself with ripped out pages of shakespeare and hemingway to burn at papaver’s altar*

When he lifts his hood to blow a kiss to her, she knows she will never get her traitorous heart back.

sir??

excuse me sir????

i thought you were told you couldn’t be a sniper? what the fuck is this tender bullshit of a snipe straight to my heart-

also that last chappy YAY ENEMIES TO ALMOST-LOVERS TO ALMOST-ENEMIES, LITERALLY CANNOT FIND THIS TROPE ANYWHERE!!!!

He’s always hoped to be able to pound down into her quaking form. 

the first time i read this i blacked out after seeing the phrase “pound down” and instead all i remember after slapping myself awake is actually reading the phrase “he’s always hoped to take her to pound town”

also why am i hot for righteous konig in shining armor being willing to go from zero to murder when he thinks maus is a pimp

and the INDIRECT KISSING VIA THE CIGGY? UNFFFFFHHH FUCKING KILL ME NOW SO I CAN DIE HAPPY (yes i am so easily pleased, sue me)

also i shrieked when maus kicks her crotch up WITHIN SPITTING/BITING DISTANCE OF KONIG PLEASE I WOULD PAY TO WATCH THIS FEATURE LENGTH FILM????

The throbbing in his pants also suggests that he’s probably forgiven her by now as well. 

*nodding sagely* yes, boners never lie

also maus slapping konig while he’s holding a knife between his teeth is big step on me queen energy

also the requital and reciprocation of the lines and actions they feed each other is just- one moment: *goes to sephora to buy more lipgloss as i ran out while giving chef’s kisses in bulk to papaver*

i love that konig is passing the time just being horny for maus, an efficient king 🫡

also when i saw gosau austria mentioned i went down a hole googling where it is/pictures and it is absolutely beautiful!!!! 

I eagerly await updates papi <3 

[glorified-red]

how do you make your writing do poetic? Cause I see my writing and I’m like what is this hot garbage compared to your brilliance?

Here's literally all the top writing advice I've learned in the past two-ish years because I assure you, my writing was also hot garbage, but hot garbage is still smokin hot bbbyy so dont give up

(brief mentions of smut in passing):

Honestly a lot of it comes down to Quantity > Quality and its not something I talk about very often on here. When I first started writing, I posted almost everyday, if not multiple times a week, consistently. I was writing headcanons of anything I could think of and stupid stories I saw on TikTok, I was answering requests the second they got in my inbox.

How I did it? I just wrote. I didn't think about it.

I was writing because it was fun, not because I wanted the writing itself to be good, I just wanted it to be (insert encanto song here). Some of my older fics are terrible, I reread some of the content and I cant make it past the first few paragraphs without cringing, Ive even considered deleting some or completely revising them because of it.

But that'd defeat the point.

I keep those fics (as terrible as they are) so you guys can see that I too, used to suck at writing. I didn't know what a hyphen was or an em dash, let alone an en dash. I didn't know how to properly punctuate AT ALL (future me, an english major, literally dies inside).

I focused a lot on dialogue when I started out, was it OOC? Probably. Did I care? Fuck no. I wrote anything because the more I wrote the better I got.

Unfortunetly overtime I became obssesed with the Quality of my work and since then I've written very little in comparison (rip my inbox being open to requests lmao). Has the quality gone up? Hell yea. But has my motivation and insecurities suffered? Oh fuck yea.

I focused so much on making my narration more poetic that my dialogue talent suffered tremendously. Which is why I'm trying to get back into more random, silly one shots because goddamit quantity > quality.

And you can see this in Nightmare because that was the series where I started getting creative with prose, pacing, and narration. That series was written and is still being written for me and me only (yall get to see it as a little treat). Its my experiment baby where I throw words at the wall and pray they stick, I talk in metaphors and pray to god it makes sense.

Nightmare is my writing exercise journal basically, everything I learn from Nightmare goes into other fics.

You can easily see how much I've grown as a writer and how because Its just one big experiment. Have you read the beginning of that? It fucking sucks, but the last six chapters? Arguably some of my most poetic work.

Big Brother Intuition was the start of me taping into the emotional side of stories and telling a story through internal dialogue and letting everything else slip in between the lines. Again, it was an exercise. The sole purpose of that fic was to challenge myself to write from Tim's POV for the first time and to write something I myself, experienced and to translate feeling and emotions into legible words.

This is when I started to learn the best writing advice I've ever learned to date that I will scream at anyone who lets me proofread their work:

Show. Don't Tell.

This is huge in writing, especially if you want to write something poetic.

"He walked across the carpeted room."

"Static clung to his socks as they dragged across the carpeted room."

In the first line, you're telling the reader whats going on like youre reading from a powerpoint. In the second, you never actually specify that he is walking, but the reader can tell because you show it visually. They can picture it in their head clearly that not only is he walking, but his shoulders are probably slouched because hes dragging his feet.

Did I ever mention the posture of the character? Nope. Did I mention he's tired? Nope. But can you picture it in the subtext without any more information but that line? Yes (assuming you read into things like me but for the sake of argument just say yes).

(this is also where word connotation comes into play but thats a whole other rant)

The reader can vividly picture your story without you having to spell it out for them.

Now bear in mind, you also have to treat your readers like idiots (sorry not sorry guys).

I like to picture the brain as an empty room, a completely blank canvas. Your story should be vivid enough that by the end of it, the reader has the entire room filled with detail.

When you start writing, you plop your character into that empty room. But how is that character interacting with the environment if its just an empty room? Things only get added into the room if the character interacts with it. If the character doesnt, then you're just telling the reader what to imagine.

What's poetic about that?

If you don't describe the setting, your readers will be confused and won't be able to immerse themselves into the story because they'll be too busy trying to figure out where the door is instead of paying attention to anything else. But reading a long paragrpah describing the room in detail is so much more boring than if the character interacts with it themselves.

(Telling the reader theres a dresser by the bed instead of making the character plop their keys on the dresser before climbing into bed)

You have to specify everything your character is doing to the environment around them so the walls turn from white to red, the room suddenly has a bed in it, theres a dresser next to the bed that needs to be sanded down because the character felt a prick on their skin.

Little things like that make your story more entertaining.

Which starts with the five senses.

I did two Five Senses writing challenges ages ago as a way to get used to writing the senses solo, I highly recommend doing the same (in my masterlist :P). Whenever I write smut, pain, comfort, you name it, the only thing going through my head is "What are they feeling, what are they hearing, what are they smelling, etc"

If you can work with the senses, showing will be so much easier to do because senses is how you show things.

"She felt like she was going to cry."

"The rims of her eyes started to burn."

In the first one, youre telling the audience what shes feeling. In the second, youre showing it. The main difference is that I imagined what it feels like to start to cry (that burn) so I could use a more "poetic" approach but really, I'm just showing instead of telling. That's the difference between hot garbage and poetic writing.

I often like to overexplain things to my audience, I pretend that my readers know nothing before starting my fic, whether its a series or a simple oneshot. This way anyone can read any of my work regardless of if they know Damian has a fucking metal spine or not beause who knows niche stuff like that yk? Its a story, make it enjoyable to anyone because they dont need pre-existing knowledge.

Which brings me to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT WRITING EVER.

Come here, this is your bread and butter okay?? This shit is what makes your writing glorious:

Whatever you do, do not make the reader hesitate.

If the person reading your work has to pause what theyre doing to reread a sentence because it doesnt make sense?

You've failed as a writer.

If the reader has to pause what theyre doing to look up a word because it doesnt make sense?

You've failed as a writer.

If the reader keeps losing their place in your story because its dragging?

You've failed as a writer.

Harsh? I know.

The entire point of writing is to tell a story well enough that the readers can fully immerse themselves into your story. If they hesitate for any reason, it breaks the immersion and suddenly that arent ✨reading✨ anymore, theyre R E A D I N G

It's boring.

Now this manifests in soooo many ways and I see it in every fic I've proofread. Assume your readers know nothing!!! I mean it!!! If youre detailed enough in your imagery, your reader will be able to imagine the story without having to readjust their visual (I'm looking at you smut writers, I have no clue what position they're in right now and I'm more confused than I am turned on).

I get bored if the paragraph is more than 4 sentences long because its intimidating to look at, its clunky and boring and it doesnt flow AT ALL. This is when readers skim your work to get to dialogue because dialogue is more easily digestible. (but please, make it obvious who's speaking because If I have to reread an entire convo just to figure out who's talking, you're done and Im moving onto the next fic)

Why? Because the punctuation is easy to digest.

Why do you think my paragraphs are so small? Why do you think my narration is sprinkled in between dialogue? Why do you think I switch between dialogue tags and actions?

So I dont lose reader interest (will I still lose some? oh duh, but not nearly as much as I would if I didn't do these things)

You cannot assume your readers know your story the same way you do, you have a specific picture in your head. Do they? Do they even know what they're supposed to be imagining right now?

And thats where the senses come in!!!

See? It all connects.

Do writing exercises, I promise, they actually work. I treat every fic as a writing exercise.

Self Care Day? Dialogue Training.

Exhaust and Exhaustion? Juggling Characters Training.

Petnames? Tense training.

The list goes on and I could explain it all in so much detail but I'll spare you the boredom.

TLDR:

Write anything and write a lot, even if its shitty, because the more you write the more experience you'll get.

Practice with sensory imagery.

Do writing exercises.

Be creative and visual instead of strict and bulletproof esque --- show, dont tell.

Treat your readers like they know nothing and treat them and their attention span like thats the holy grail.

Be creative and literally just have fun and I promise you will see so much growth in your writing.

Please let me know if yall want me to expand on this or to explain anything, my english major brain is literally hardwired for these types of discussions.

[vacantgodling]

🍕 ❤️ 💚 🧠 FOR HYA MY DARLINGGGGGG and mayhapeth toph my beloved

KORBIE MY BELOVED ORB THANK YOU 💛💛💛

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

i actually just learned this about hya, he’s a red meat + white sauce kind of guy. think about steak fondue or steak bechamel type of energy. he really likes umami and savory flavors in general.

for toph it’s mint flavored anything. mint juleps are his favorite cocktail, mint chocolate or mint chocolate ice cream is his favorite dessert, he just loves Mint. he even uses mint cologne LMAO.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

this one is tough for hya frfr. i honestly don’t think he has his best memory until after canon and he and amon fly the coop and get wedded. and it probably isn’t anything grandiose—just getting a full night’s sleep and waking up to find everything is still at peace and amon’s there beside him. he would not admit to this shit under pain of death but he really cherishes it lol.

for toph, it’s definitely when dolley (nix and trisha’s baby) is born which happens like 3/4 of the way through the story. it’s really emotional for him bc if he hadn’t met trish and nix, dolley wouldn’t even Be here (to;dr trish almost died in a car accident and toph showed nix his demon form to save her) and so there’s something very precious about that to him. he’s the first person who gets to hold her after the parents ofc and he’s just so awestruck haha. dolley’s always gonna have scary uncle toph wrapped around her finger lmaooo.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

hya is troibemme (nb). his sexuality is. complicated. he’s not aroace (neither of us would call him that tho some will definitely headcanon him that way, i already know) but he’s just extremely picky. he doesn’t quite love labels, but i think if i HAD to classify him it would be gay with a Huge asterisk. amon is literally the only person he’s ever been attracted to, even in slum aus where he’s arguably more of a normal person. like amon just does it for him and that’s it pff.

toph is a cis guy (tho being a demon makes his relationship to gender funny cuz he’s like the hell? about it) and he’s extremely bi. he does have a preference for men tho. he and nix are similar where he’d like a woman to overpower him and bc he’s a demon that’s very rare to find. with guys he’s more about being in the lead and so it’s easier for him to cultivate relationships he likes in that regard lol.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

i went on a whole rant about hya already but i can do another one. i really really like his appearance. that sounds really shallow and kinda horny at first, and it is, technically, but i more like the fact that hya puts in such EFFORT for his appearance. i don’t think ive ever had an oc until him who was so genuinely concerned with grooming and keeping themselves to a standard of what they wanted to look like and then doing the work to craft that visage. obvs if i bring it back to myself it’s the translation of my desire to want to be more confident WANTING to look however i want to look (esp when it comes to gender) vs trying to be “convenient” for others and not making a big deal about it. i could say more but yahhh.

dude i love everything about toph (he was actually my first biggest obsession oc but then a lot of stuff happened and then i made hya and ya see where i am now) but i love how he’s crass. making pretty boys who are crass (gestures to hya) is my favorite thing but the thing that really separates hya from toph is the fact that toph is so straightforward about both himself and his feelings and he doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks about it. when i think about his old story before LR, he and hya were way more similar bc #traumabaybee but when i made LR i did kinda kick out a lot of that old baggage and he got more confident and more loud and more sure of himself and he’s GLOWING BABYYYY. i love him so much 😭

[misqnon]

yeah i definitely liked sanuso more than i liked sanji. before... before i came to like sanji. i don't think i was rly an Actual Fan though. seeing fan content of sanji (shipping content included) is part of what made me grow to like him. so ur right that a ship i like with characters i dont like would make me grow to like the characters!!

tashigi and reiju is so insanely good.. theyre perfect for each other...

LMAO ISNT THAT PRICE A BIT STEEP?? nami moment

robin definitely would notice but it would have so much more impact to have luffy intervene imo?? he is probably the most important person to both of them (arguably true for all the crew) and also he just . idk hes emotionally intelligent. hes perceptive. people dont give him enough credit. luffy is not stupid!!!!

"he and robin can be similar and enies lobby is what made everyone love her more…" YEAH EXACTLY!!! there doesnt need to be a whole arc but just show us that he isnt JUST the cool guy. i need him to cry .... i need emotional vulnerability.. please oda ..... on my knees begging for this. PLEASE Oda...

"already there babes 🫡 just doing my part" thank u

"DID. DID THEY ACTUALLY CALL HIM TRACE HEATFIST IN THE 4KIDS DUB…ARE U SERIOUS RN…IVE NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE PLEASE SAY SIKE." YES THEY ACTUALLY DID. its a stupid change but HIS VOICE IS SO COOL... theres a scene where he and luffy meet on alabasta n luffy is like: hey, trace?! and trace is like "yours truly 😎😏🔥 hey luffy, whats up? 🔥🔥💪✨" and i fucking Fell In Love on first listen. i have the biggest . fattest crush on 4kids ace. why is he so suave. why is he so cool. pathetically showing my love for the worst dub's version of the best character

i was so relieved that luffy sounded different that i can forgive anything else. i don't care if the acting is worse...

AT A CHRISTIAN GALLERY???? ur so brave

"i will share embarrassing stories like my life depends on it"

(hoping i havent used this image before)

THE SPOTLIGHT ON SANJI.... THAT IS SO FUNNY...

"BUT IM TOO BUSY READING ONE PIECE" good point... reading both would be hard.. /gen

"lion…and wings…so u want to be a griffin 👁️" i did not realize this. but yes i GUESS I DO?? i like manticores and unicorns the most out of any fantasy creature but i could never be a manticore bc it means i keep my face.. and unicorn.... doesnt have cool paws... oh and i love dragons... i WOULD be a dragon but i would like to be like. fluffy.. i want to be fluffy..

"DIDN THE BEAT OUT ZORO IN THE POPULARITY POLLS ONE TIME" YEAH HE DID... i dont know maybe i just missed it?? there were a lot of ppl there... and my memory is kinda hazy.. i will be on the lookout for law next time i go to a con

"WRONG bangs my sanji gavel." I FORGOT U WERW THE SANJI MAGISTRATE..... please forgive me....

that is so cool 🥹

"also sanji’s love for mice/rats makes me fucking insane bc its the cutest thing on earth." I KNOW RIGJT... like hes a cook.. he should hate them... but he doesnt!!! hes super fond of them!!! because he had mice friends at the lowest point in his life!!!! GOD.. i also used to love mice so . thank u sanji. representing rodent lovers. im having too many moments lately where i relate to sanji.... former sanji hater becomes sanji

"SANJI LOVES MICE MORE THAN WOMEN CONFIRMED-" GENUINELY!!!

"they’re all expecting sanji to freak and kill them and then they walk in and he’s made them tiny stir fry and is calling them cutesy names." STOP THATS SUCH CUTE IMAGERY 😭😭😭 sanji would never hit a woman mouse.

"also all the fan content ive seen where ratatouille is his favorite movie. ANYONE CAN COOK!!!!! 😭" IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

"we turn a sad into a frrAAANKKYYYYYYYY" HSJDHS

"ROBIN WHYYY WAS THAT THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OFFFF SHE IS INSANE. SHE’S SO WEIRD." IN HER DEFENSE, THEY WERE RIGHT THERE. HOW COULD SHE NOT... HOW COULD SHE NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT ....

"should i send some on discord as well. is that how i break the ice. images of sanji with his ass up in the air (my collection)" YES..... YES DO IT.... in return i will sned... uhmm... law!??

ok but sanji in glasses. even at the peak of my sanji hatred i begrudgingly admit that he was very attractive in those glasses...

LOOK AT HIM SOB... whole cake island was kinda his enies lobby emotional depth moment???

heres this loser

EAT

i have this sanji saved bc he looks so pathetic and sad

omg nooo how did choso get in here ...... noooo ...... that was a big accident.... completely an accident.... not on purpose at alll........

usopp out here converting more ppl to sanji likers than i am…smh. i do love the way sanji backs him up so often in canon tho, its very sweet

KNJKCDNA WAIT THE $5,000 A MONTH THING? I MEAN YES. BUT DO YOU KNOW THE YE OLDE TUMBLR JOKE IM REFERENCING? DO U REMEMBER COMMUNISMKILLS…THAT AWFUL TUMBLR USER THAT THEN WAS LIKE “i’ll shut up if u pay me $5000 a month” actually deranged and iconic. here’s a post about it

the entire crew IS important to both of them but arguably he is the only person on the crew they would listen to in a situation like that is luffy yea. he’s the mutual friend that they both love deeply and loves both of them deeply even tho they hate (“hate”) each other. AND he’s emotionally intelligent and wise!! yea!!

joining u in the begging for sad zoro. campaigning for abusing zoro in the next chapters. ready to make this meme real

NOT TRACE HEATFIST…his voice did seem cool tho ur right. i like to imagine he speaks with the emojis like you typed them. (“how are you saying that out loud-”) is the crush only on 4kids ace specifically..sorry sorry TRACE. IS IT ONLY FOR TRACE

I WANT TO STEAL ALL THESE REACTION IMAGES HAHAHA

WAIT IS IT A SPOTLIGHT. I THOUGHT THEY HAD TRAPPED HIM UNDER A CUP LIKE A BUG KJAFHBdiwjnwd

dragons. [breathes in] dude i love dragons so fucking much. i watched that documentary animal planet or discovery made where they said dragons lived in the prehistoric time with t rex and shit and BELIEVED IT FOR SO LONG. also obsessively played httyd games on the internet and other Dragon Themed Things. and i had legend of spyro: a new beginning for the gamecube and it was like my first ever video game i owned myself that wasnt a hand me down and i beat it literally 9+ times…after 9 i stopped keeping track..i loved spyro and CYNDER so much. CYNDER WAS SO COOL. THAT WHOLE GAME WAS SO COOL. just last year i started playing flight rising (but i fell off lmao)

“former sanji hater becomes sanji” KJSDBDNKJSN YEAH relating to sanji is half of why i love him. and the amount i relate to him is. way far more than i thought i would ever relate to. the pervert stereotype anime character of any given show. so mad…but also i love him a lot 😭 has become a bit of a comfort character for me UNFORTUNATELY…but i relate to his passion and his low self esteem and his self sacrificial nature and his (percieved) gender issues and even his stupid easy-to-fall-in-love shtick. god. anyways

MICE > WOMEN ‼️‼️‼️CONFIRMED

I WANT TO PUT THE SANJI FEEDING MICE AND THE CREW IS CONFUSED SCENE IN A FIC SO BAD BUT I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK ATM 😭

“sanji would never hit a woman mouse.” sanji vs. minnie mouse his hardest battle yet

ROBIN….ROBIN 😭 I WILL CONDONE ALL HER ACTIONS BC I LOVE HER BUT SHES SO STRANGE 😭

SANJI ASS IN THE AIR COMING UR WAY

dude. thank you for saying that bc. when sanji had those fucking glasses on as mr. prince in alabasta. i was simping just a little bit. and mad about it.

AND ALSO UM??? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS?? STOP BEING PRETTY???

this outfit was gay as hell by the way. like how am i supposed to believe that is a fuly straight man-

“whole cake island was kinda his enies lobby emotional depth moment???” it 1000% was down to him leaving the crew and needing to be rescued and learn to love himself and live for himself. robin and sanji are my two favorite strawhats and GOD THE SIMILARITIES ARE BRUISING. have u seen that post where its drawings of each of the strawhat “rescue teams” of arlong park, enies lobby, and whole cake?

law 1: edgy. flipping u off. deranged. a bit evil looking. kinda hot

law 2: naptime. flourishing. in his lane. never done wrong in his life. thats just a guy

“EAT” KJDBVSDAJBCJDA

NOOO THAT SANJI IMAGE GENUINELY MAKES ME SO SAD BUT HE ALSO LOOKS SO SO PATHETIC 😭 SOPPING WET CAT OF A MAN

HI CHOSO. IDK U BUT I LIKE UR HAIR. HI

here are a couple more one piece memes i have collected. i will be sending u a discord message...soon

[mermaidsirennikita]

Just to share my own personally experience...

I read the entire bridgerton series and for me personally I only liked the 2nd series. After watching the show, I don't feel what I usually feel when I read HR novels. So imagine my surprise when I went to the bookstore to buy one of Lisa Kelypas books and in the same section comes this lady who has a basket full of Bridgerton books and ask me to recommend a similar book to which I did...unfortunately I was labeled by her as someone with poor taste as I recommend Lisa Kelypas books.

I still chuckled to this day on how she missed out on a good book...

My purpose of telling this is not to discredit Julia Quinn or Bridgerton but rather to share my own experience 😅

Lol dude.... I'm sorry, Kleypas isn't gonna be for everyone. Of course not. And Julia Quinn is obviously very significant and influential. But to me, shunning Lisa Kleypas as an author loved by those with poor taste as a historical romance reader is like saying, "You know lasagna? Fucking terrible, everyone hates it". Lisa is not for EVERYONE, but even if she's not for you she's a cornerstone of historical romance. That's just a fact.

Personally, and this is gonna sound condescending and I don't want it to come off that way because Julia is again, very significant--I do think her books are more entry level? To me? I would recommend two Bridgerton books as "dip your toes into HR" type novels because they nail the tropes they're after, they are emotional without being overwhelming, and the historical detail isn't too heavy. I'm not a huge fan of the rest of the series, and I dislike a couple of the books in it, but those two (The Viscount Who Loved Me and When He Was Wicked) I think are good entry points. But I think I'd still recommend The Wallflowers before that, lmao. And that's a taste thing, right? I wouldn't say that someone who prefers JQ has bad taste, because she's obviously left a mark and is super popular... But she's not to my taste, and I do see Lisa as a bit more... quintessentially historical romance, and a bit more significantly impactful to the subgenre (the popularization of the self made hero, for example--and I'd say that she has had books that have made a bigger impact individually, like Dreaming of You, Devil in Winter, and more recently Marrying Winterborne).

Idk, it is funny to me to see people going "You don't like Julia Quinn? You MUST not TRULY be into historical romance, when JQ is arguably the most accessible mainstream HR author at the moment because of the Netflix show. Like, you're not exactly diggin' deep to find her lmao.