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[lovejustforaday]

Shoegaze Classics - Xuvetyn

Xuvetyn - Lovesliescrushing (1996)

Main Genres - Ambient, Shoegaze, Ethereal Wave, Experimental

A decent sampling of: Drone, Noise, Dream Pop, Post-Rock, Neo-Psychedelia

I'm not gonna lie - I'm super excited to gush about this record. I've been meaning to get around to reviewing this bountiful, fascinating little gem for years now. Let's hope that I can do this often unsung masterpiece the much needed justice that it deserves.

🙙

I touched on this previously in my Ride review, but for all of the talk of the 'Big 3' of shoegaze, I think that many of the younger shoegaze fans these days would agree that Slowdive and My Bloody Valentines' discographies are a cut above the Ride catalogue. Not to diss on the band, but the Big 3 is really starting to feel more like a Big 2 these days, with Slowdive's relevance to new fans only increasing over time whilst Ride's relevance seems to be stagnating.

This has left a potential vacuum in the consensus online. Don't get me wrong; plenty are still going to champion Ride as one of the giants of shoegaze, and most folks that were around for the original scene that celebrated itself are most likely still diehard for Ride as the scene's closest group to being mega rockstars.

But in terms of the legacy of 90s shoegaze, could there still be a record that is missing from all-time canonization? One that has oft been overlooked when discussing this supposed "Big 3"? Is one of indie rock's most beloved and revisited eras still hiding an elusive diamond in the rough?

In case it wasn't already obvious, that's the case I'm going to be making today. And I don't think I'm entirely alone on this one. Few shoegaze bands from the 90s have had such a considerable late resurgence like this band, though they've always had a cult following.

Today I'll be making the case for Lovesliescrushing, the creative juggernauts behind the 1996 experimental ambient shoegaze masterpiece Xuvetyn.

The Band

Lovesliescrushing are one of the rare American bands of the original 90s wave.

The project began in 1991 as the brainchild of avant-garde guitarist and producer Scott Cortez, who teamed up with the apparitional soprano voice of singer Melissa Arpin-Duimstra, a vocalist who more than any other shoegaze vocalist before or since has dedicated her artistry to using the singing voice as a medium to carry and modulate the properties of sound timbre first and foremost.

Daringly, Lovesliescrushing as a band decided to forego having a rhythm section altogether. Not even a drum machine. The band's radical ethos right from its inception would seem to have been to distill shoegaze rock music down to a purified elemental substance, achieving the platonic ideal by creating an undisturbed solution of dense and glorious blended textures.

Indeed, where reverberated guitar sounds with bizarre effects and blended vocals were what set apart bands like Swervedriver, Catherine Wheel, and Curve from being otherwise ordinary indie/alternative rock bands, the qualities I just described encompassed the near-entirety of Lovesliescrushing's early output, taking the concept of the subgenre to its logical extreme.

The band pioneered what is essentially the fusion of ambient music and shoegaze, a match made in heaven as far as I'm concerned. This marriage of genre ethos would give way to some of the most unyielding sublime auditory sensations that I have ever been so fortunate to have experienced.

Lovesliescrushing also had one foot steeped firmly in the murky waters of ethereal wave (particularly on the sophomore record), the goth subgenre which served as shoegaze and dream pop's most apparent predecessor and influence. Indeed, some of the band's material can be seen as building upon the prototypical blueprint that can be found in Cocteau Twins' fourth LP Victorialand which similarly removed the rhythm section in order to create pure blissful atmosphere.

Some may see Cortez's work as hero worship, and I've heard a dozen or so folks accuse this band of being "My Bloody Valentine without the melodies and drums", but this is a grossly reductionist take that does a huge disservice to just how brazenly groundbreaking and experimental this band's early work was at the time and still remains to this day.

Lovesliescrushing also regularly made their foray into other schools of experimental music like drone, sound collage, and harsh noise, incorporating these ideas into their creative process. Some of their material even sounds like experimental music with no apparent roots in any particular legacy whatsoever.

This is honestly some very radical music. I can't think of much of anything really quite like early Lovesliescrushing. Perhaps MBV is one of the closest points of reference, but then only because they were a shoegaze band that also sounded quite unlike anything at the time.

Information on the beginnings of this band is scant on the internet compared to many other shoegaze artists, and they were never well-documented by the alternative music press the way that bands like Slowdive or even Catherine Wheel were. And as far as the North American scene goes, Drop Nineteens definitely overshadowed their popularity.

I think it's a fair assessment to say that Lovesliescrushing were truly underground in the band's formative years. I remember only as far back as 2017, when I was just getting into this band through online recommendations, that even many avid fans of Slowdive and MBV had never even heard of this band. But I digress.

Lovesliescrushing released their debut LP Bloweyelashwish twice: first as a casette tape in 1992 on their own indie label with a shorter track listing, and then as a longer full-length album in 1993 on Projekt Records, with newer recordings and mastered versions of the songs.

Bloweyelashwish is a beautiful record in its own right. More generally noisy and droning than its successor, with crunchier guitar sounds, blown out distortion, and a listless melancholic atmosphere. Somewhat closer to very early Sonic Youth, or some of A.R. Kane's weirdest output. What the record does somewhat lack, at least in comparison to its successor, is relative cohesion.

Nevertheless, some very brilliant tracks on the debut LP. "Babysbreath" is music for when you need to smother your tears in a pillow with all of the lights off, "Sugaredglowing" is one of my favourite ambient tracks ever (and a surprisingly potent form of migraine relief), and "youreyesimmaculate" is a stunning and ethereal foreshadowing of what was to come next.

Speaking of which...

The Record

Xuvetyn is... what even is it?

Xuvetyn is a series of documented sound frequencies that would be made by a sentient, shimmering blue light galaxy consisting entirely of trillions upon trillions of frozen ice shard particles. Alternatively, it is the contradictory sound of the bitter coldness of the universe itself caressing the listener in a warm cocoon.

The fact that most of all of this is accomplished with guitar, pedal, vocals, and some studio effects here and there is still unfathomable to me. That is an incredible feat in itself.

Judging solely by the ability to create awe-inspiring atmosphere, I don't believe that there is any other shoegaze band that has managed to accomplish the level of mastery that Lovesliescrushing consistently demonstrates on this record. Yes, If Loveless was the zenith of shoegaze texture, then Xuvetyn is the zenith of shoegaze atmosphere. Completely surreal and captivating.

As I've described the band's sound itself, Xuvetyn really is the concept of shoegaze distilled into its essence, then manipulated ever so slightly with a delicate songcraft and expertise, in order to give these tracks a semblance of form and structure. But make no mistake - there is no solid seabed foundation to this ocean of resonant sounds like there would be on any other shoegaze record. No, this is just infinite, icy sonic fluid that flows all the way down into a multi-dimensional abyss. And holy fuck is it ever beautiful.

Which is not to say that there is no songwriting here - just that it is incredibly subtle. But also incredibly effective.

People who generally don't care for or listen to ambient music often stereotype the genre as being uninteresting, low-effort, or too non-descript, when in fact all of the truly greatest ambient musicians know that making a masterpiece is about learning how to do miraculous things with precious little. It requires immense patience (as does the listener sometimes), a keen ear for detail, and meticulous perfectionism. Unsurprisingly, Scott Cortez strikes me as being just that kind of guy.

The album is a double LP in length, with an hour and sixteen minutes runtime and a listing of 18 tracks. Most songs generally run over the five minute mark, with the A, B, and C sides of the record all padded out every one or two tracks with these really curious little intermissions that are generally less than a full minute each.

These intermissions are often the most experimental recordings on the album, like the abrasive hailstorm noise collage of "Aquan 1" and the gloomy factory white noise of "Hum VIbralux". I could see how someone might want to omit these, but personally I think it adds to the record's pacing by giving it room to breathe, and they made the right decision to let up for the last set of tracks. Plus, the little intermissions are all so deliciously weird that it kinda reminds me of the way that your brain will just plant these bizarre, inexplicable little blips in the middle of your dreams sometimes.

Also hey, can I just nerd out about something really silly for a second? Has anyone ever noticed how a bunch of the track names on this record end in an "-ed"? "Threaded", "Handed", "Blue-Eyed", "Honeyed", "Blooded". Just another cute little detail, adding to the esoteric nature of this record, and I appreciate the alliteration.

OKAY, let's just get to the track by track analysis already.

Admittedly this is one of those records that hits you with the very best it has to offer right out of the gate. Listening to "Valerian (Her Voice Honeyed)" is among the most sublime feelings I have ever experienced in my life, literally ever. Not just in music but like, anything.

Think of any familiar place, or perhaps a virtual space in a piece of media, that held a sort of transcendental significance to you during your childhood, as though it carried a life of its own, a place that you may have revisited in your warmest dreams - for me, it's the lost woods in Ocarina of Time. Think of the sensation that those transcendent spaces would give you.

This track is that same sensation, only on steroids. As soon as that heavy ambient wall fades into the foreground and the sense of infinity takes hold, this gently flowing waterfall of dark sound matter creates a sort of window of reflection into wherever it is in your soul that you have ever felt the most at home. I get that music is a subjective experience at the end of the day, but I feel like what I just described would be inevitable for almost any listener, unless they simply weren't listening to this track the right way. One of the greatest songs ever? I'd wager a hard fucking yes.

The good news is that from here, you have only just begun your journey into a world of many more sublime and mysterious figures.

"Xarella Almandyne" is like the sound of a choir of angels in a massive hall the size of an entire city - the unknowable, lovecraftian, biblically-accurate seraphim kind of angel. Somehow soothing, yet oddly paralyzing at the same time. Based on this track alone, I must say that I'm not entirely convinced that Scott and Melissa are regular mere mortals of this world.

"Blooded And Blossom-Blown" is an eerie, gleaming, and loudly piercing void. I find the majority of the songs on this record to be overall comforting, sometimes somber and darkly mystifying if anything, but this might be the one odd track that genuinely unsettles me; in a way that I cannot get enough of, mind you. Compared to what we often call white noise, this piece represents sound that I visualize in the distinctly unnatural shades of negative blues and turquoises.

"Virgin Blue-Eyed" is a very rare departure in the band's early discography from their guitar ambience, focusing on the incantations of Melissa's euphonious elven voice, with clanging little bells in the background (which, funnily enough, technically makes this the most percussive track on either of the band's first two records).

My favourite of the intermissions is "Seesaw". Transitory shoegaze in a continuously elevating loop, like music for the loading screen that would take you to the shoegaze version of heaven, or perhaps the mythological world of Mag Mell.

"Golden-Handed" is soft, swirling, hypnagogic, and lamenting. This ambient ethereal wave track manifests as the faintest, loneliest light flickering in the gloomy hush of an otherwise dead midnight. Completely arresting atmosphere.

"Bones of Angels" is a two parter - first there's "Bronze Lit Feathers", a labyrinthine chorus of resplendent, inharmonious, and rippling guitar impressions, drifting almost aimlessly and forming only vague constellations with the help of Melissa's frail melody, and a foundation of ambient bass notes cutting through the discordance with great magnitude. This is contrasted by the second part "Her Tongue Pulled Out", wherein the sky parts and the drifting guitar sounds align into a shrill cry, forming a radiant column of sonic light, as if something gorgeous is beginning to descend upon the world. Music for high priestesses summoning divine power.

Xuvetyn reaches its second greatest peak with the penultimate track "Ghosts That Swirl", a piece which opens with this really foreboding orchestra of dreary, gargantuan ambient chimes, sounding as though the world around the listener was compressing in on itself and then stretching in and out of itself, like alternating waves in the membrane of the universe. This overture leads into an ominous, secluded, and crystalline dreamland soundscape, further removed from reality than any other track on the record, and unlike any other song that I have ever experienced. This is music that could only be dreamt up from the confines of a comatose slumber, wherein Melissa's whispers in your ear are the only traces connecting you to the corporeal world, though only audible as faint echoes far off in the distance of a seemingly endless cerulean.

I could go on all day but I've decided to end the track-by-track analysis here. The entire record is vividly evocative beyond what should be reasonably possible (and what I can convey words). You might get something entirely different from my descriptions of these tracks, but I guarantee that you will experience something unearthly.

What Came After That?

Lovesliescrushing followed up their first two records with a series of two records in 2002 that were more just straight up ambient music, rather than comprising an ambient shoegaze fusion.

The first of these is Glissceule, a similarly icy record to Xuvetyn with less dark edge and more of a reserved calm, plus more electronic elements. Second was the more ambiguous Voirshn which I enjoy significantly less than previous projects unfortunately.

The band has sporadically released more ambient records over the course of the last couple of decades, which I have yet to really deep dive into. Scott has worked on a few separate projects, most notably his other band Astrobrite which releases much harsher noise shoegaze records. Nothing from this band has really grabbed me like Lovesliescrushing's work, so I am not very familiar with it.

Like I mentioned previously, Lovesliescrushing's relevance in online shoegaze circles has seen a steady increase over time for a little while now. But Scott and Melissa have always been favs amongst the more hardcore followers of the scene, achieving an almost mythical status as figureheads of the experimental shoegaze micro-scene. And they're pretty much always one of the first bands I see people recommending nowadays when someone online says that they're looking for more "weird shoegaze".

And believe me, I'm one of those nerds recommending this band with every relevant opportunity that I can seize. This should be among the first dozen records we play when the aliens come down to Earth, in order to plead our case for the culture of humankind. This is a very special piece of art.

I won't pretend that this is going to be music for everyone, but if you really wanna transcend your corporeal existence in way that doesn't involve experimenting with potentially harmful substances, I can't really think of any better method. Xuvetyn is from beyond our plane of existence - some people native to our world (allegedly) just happened to manifest it one day.

Join me next time where, in case this review wasn't goddamn long enough, I will be doing a series of reviews on every major Slowdive release from the self-titled EP all the way up to their latest record 🙃.

10/10

Highlights: "Valerian (Her Voice Honeyed)", "Ghosts That Swirl", "Bones of Angels", "Xarella Almandyne", "Golden-Handed", "See Saw", "Blooded and Blossom-Blown", "Virgin Blue Eyed", "Flowered Smother", "Mother of Pearl", "Mandragora Louvareen", "Milkysoft", "Hum Vibralux", "Staticburst"

[ycscnia]

@hypnotticpoison​   /   yesenia’s house​

The mansion was rather haunting this late at night, but thankfully, she was not along tonight. Both of her kids were away at different friend’s houses, and Yesenia decided to have a friend over for herself. But having Arpine over typically meant that they were not in a sober state of mind, and they were likely to choose to do something reckless. Hopefully tonight, it would not involve their exes.

“I’m telling you, make him jealous. Whatever, go to a beach with some man and accidentally  fall on top of him when the paps show up.” She shrugs, waving her glass of wine around. “Not that I would know a thing about that.” Nia winks playfully.

[granhairdo]

my full name is EXTREMELY long (I have so many damn middle names my parents are WEIRD) which has had me cycle through many variants of my name throughout the years and im feeling like i should change it up, so what varient of the various parts of my name should i use? these are all ones ive used before and liked, but im curious on y’all’s opinion on wtf should you call me

[creatuesfromthedeep]

Holm: We have to plan, we have to figure something out. Arorangi: Holm, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

Oath: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean. Vorrutyer: No, go ahead. I want to hear it. Oath: It sucks. Vorrutyer: That's not constructive criticism.

Vorrutyer: You believe me? Arpine: Vorrutyer, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Vorrutyer: Coca Cola is a health potion, Pepsi is a mana potion. Carantog: What’s grape soda? Vorrutyer: It’s fucking purple baby!!!

Holm: Good morning. Carantog: Good morning. Vorrutyer: Good morning. Arpine: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Arorangi: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

*The squad is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.* Arpine: Get two more chairs! Vorrutyer: They can get their own chairs. Oath: Make them fight for it. Carantog: You only need one chair to beat them all with. Holm: I would never be near children. Arorangi: Kill two.

Arpine: *Turns on the kitchen light* Holm: *Sitting at the table, eating bread* Arpine: It’s four in the morning. Holm: Turn the light back off.

[dandanjean]

La poésie de Joséphine Bacon

La vice-présidente de la Commission, Suzanne Arpin, demande à Joséphine Bacon de lui expliquer l’origine d’un poème qui l’a beaucoup marquée. Quand vous avez écrit ce poème-là, C’était quoi votre idée ? À quoi pensiez-vous ? Envoye donc Ne me tue pas d’être vivante Ne me tue pas de sourire Ne me tue pas d’aimer Ne me tue pas d’être humaine Tue-moi si j’oublie Joséphine Bacon Poète…

[americaarpin]

Discover the Best Suburbs to Live in Dallas-Fort Worth - Arpin America Insights

Explore the finest suburbs to call home in the Dallas-Fort Worth area with Arpin America’s expert insights. Our guide helps you navigate the ideal communities, offering valuable information to make informed decisions about your relocation. Trust Arpin America for reliable advice on choosing the best suburbs for your lifestyle in the vibrant Dallas-Fort Worth region. https://arpinamerica.com/best-suburbs-to-live-in-dallas-fort-worth/

[lorenakoran-blog]

Panic at the Meltdown

Written on 9/13/2023 I worked early today and it was a pretty easy day for the most part, … except my feet were hurting really bad. Since I worked earlier I got off earlier and the pain increased and spread up my leg’s and my ribs hurt. Just to clarify, the pain didn’t increase because I got off earlier, I’ve just been under a lot of stress and stress triggers the CFS and Fibro symptoms. It…

[grahamstoney]

My Highlights Of The 2015 Melbourne International Comedy Festival

New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/shows/highlights-the-2015-melbourne-international-comedy-festival

My Highlights Of The 2015 Melbourne International Comedy Festival

I totally smashed the 2015 Melbourne International Comedy Festival, going to over 30 shows during the 3 weeks I camped out in the Melbourne Central Youth Hostel, and then Nomads All Nations after the YHA kicked me out for overstaying my visa welcome.

Tickets From Some Of The Shows I Saw

I take my hat off to all the comedians who showed up and strutted their stuff for my amusement. It’s hard to rank all the shows I saw, or compare them on any sensible basis as there was so much variety and talent on show and they were almost all highly entertaining.

But nevertheless, here’s my best attempt starting with my most favourites:

Rich Hall

Measured by sheer quantity of my own laughter, Rich Hall was my highlight of the festival. I laughed so much, I lost it completely many times. At one point I thought the rather conservative-looking woman next to me was going to have a go at me for enjoying myself too much. Rich’s acerbic wit, cynicism and rapid-fire delivery made me laugh so hard that muscles in my head which I didn’t even know I had went into spasm. It was just extraordinary. And if I thought his bit about Target was hilarious, that was nothing compared to his song about Bob Dylan which was just hysterical.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Rich, you are an inspiration.

Arj Barker

Arj Barker is one of my all-time comedy heroes. Not only did I love his character Dave in the Flight Of The Conchords HBO series, I think his music video The Sickest Buddhist is hilarious, and he never fails to deliver live.

This festival I had a bonus treat when I bumped into him on the street corner outside Town Hall. I was a little star-struck and the conversation went something like this:

“Hey Arj!”, I said suddenly upon noticing my comedy idol right in front of me while crossing the street.

“Oh, Hi”, said Arj, appearing slightly startled.

“I’m Graham. I saw your show last week. Love your work.”, as I extended my hand.

“Hello Graham”, replied Arj as we shook hands.

Quick Graham, think of something intelligent to say: “I really like how you weave spiritual themes into your stand-up routine.”

“Well you’ve got to talk about something”, Arj replied.

“I’m a comedian too; but I’ve only just got into it. Where do you find your inspiration?”

“Just everyday things, you know”, my spiritual comedy leader opined.

“Like, personal experience hey”, I agreed naively.

“Yeah… At first, everything that happens to you, you’re like ‘how can I make a joke out of this’? Then after a while it gets a bit more difficult.”

“Right… like first album syndrome!”, I empathised misguidedly.

“Mmm… more like fourth or fifth album syndrome.”, he replied.

“Well great to meet you Arj!”

“Thanks Graham… nice to meet you too”

Top bloke; even remembered my name.

Dave Callan

Where to begin with this one? Well, the title A Little Less Conversation 2: A Little More Less Conversation made me laugh even before I turned up. It was an extension of Dave’s previous show titled A Little Less Conversation, where much of the talking was replaced with contemporary dancing. Not the dicky interpretive style, but the music video type. Then after explaining that there would be no silly dancing in this show, Dave Callan and four hot young dancers led us through a hilarious music video dance journey backwards through the alphabet.

The weird thing is Dave is actually remarkably flexible and despite what you’d guess from his appearance, he can dance. Beat It took on a new meaning, his pole routine was extraordinary, there was an awkwardly funny male wardrobe malfunction, and I’ll never be able to listen to Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off again without just hearing that the bakers are gonna bake, bake, bake, bake, bake.

Puddles Pity Party

I first heard about Puddles Pity Party when an excited group of people got on the tram while on my way home on night, and kept raving about what a great night they’d had at some show they’d just seen. I couldn’t help but ask “What have you been up to?”, and they replied: “Puddles Pity Party… you’ve got to go see it!”

And so I did. Puddles is called “The Sad Clown With The Golden Voice”, and rightly so. It’s hard to put into words just how entertaining he is, from the way he sings to the way he interacts with the audience; the whole thing is just magic, especially considering that he never really speaks during the whole show. I’ll never hear Dancing Queen the same way again, nor the hostile audience refrain from Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again? Just amazing.

Ronny Chieng

Even just the publicity photo and title of the Ronny Chieng‘s show You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About made me laugh, and that was before I’d even booked the tickets. I can just imagine him leaning back on that seat telling me off for speaking before my brain was engaged. His acerbic wit is hilarious live and he seems to have risen to prominence quite quickly; although I have a hunch it might not have seemed quite so quick to him.

Aside from his comedy, Ronny had by far the best neon sign of the festival. I also bumped into (that’s a synonym for accosted) him crossing the street in Melbourne, and said a quick “Hi”. Seemed like a decent guy who appeared to be going somewhere that didn’t involve hanging around chatting to a random stranger like me for too long.

Steen Raskopoulos

Earmarked as one of the leading emerging comedy talents of the country, I think I’ll claim Steen Raskopoulos as a friend of mine since I’ve been to several Improv classes taught by him, and I reckon by now he probably even knows my name. I saw Steen’s preview show back in Sydney when he was road-testing material for this festival, and it was a real treat to see the final work on stage in Character Assassin.

Steen really takes his audience on an emotional journey which includes involving audience members with no Improv background up on stage. He has a way of making you feel safe. I did laugh though when he said “I wouldn’t ask you to do anything that I wouldn’t do myself”. I know he’s sincere, but as a seasoned Improv guru, I’m pretty sure the scope of what he would be prepared to do himself is probably broader than most of his audience.

Nevertheless I’m sure his participants went away grateful for the experience. He also ties the various themes, characters and stories in his show together brilliantly. The whole set-up, execution and finale to the Old Man And The Ducks story was a work of art. Pure genius.

Another highlight for me was Steen and Susie Youssef’s Bus Stop Romance at the Festival Club mime night. Funny thing is, I think I’d seen it before, yet it still works. Or are they just such likable performers that it feels familiar even first time around?

Stephen K Amos

Another one of my favourite comedians is Stephen K Amos, whose voice and persona just make me laugh right from the word “go”. I got the feeling he’d only just stepped off the plane when I saw his preview show. He just hilarious though and the fun he’s clearly having on stage is infectious. I was particularly impressed with the way he handled a heckler about 40 minutes into the show, when a guy down the back yelled out:

“First one mate!”, implying that he’d only just found something funny.

Mr Amos smiled broadly and said proudly, “I know how to handle this”… and then proceeded to demolish the guy. Can’t remember what he said, but it was awesome to witness. I wish I’d videoed it… but I get the feeling Stephen really hates that.

Sammy J & Randy

Everyone’s favourite wildly successful man-puppet musical comedy duo (we’ve all been there!), An Evening With Sammy J & Randy is always entertaining, with their bizarre absurdist musical comedy storytelling.

I got laid after the last time I saw their show, so I had high hopes this year. That’s all I’ll say about that.

I passed up a unique opportunity during the Upstaging bit in their show, when Randy lept from the stage in a full-body puppet outfit and clamoured all over me in the audience in an attempt to upstage Sammy J, who was delivering a monologue from his drama studies thesis about the perils of upstaging. It suddenly occurred to me to pull Randy’s mask off, thus upstaging them both. Who is the guy playing the purple puppet anyway? Sadly, I chose to let them have their moment and watch passively instead. I’ll endeavour to be more pro-active next time.

Randy’s lip-sync battle at The Festival Club was also had me seeing double for a while. #YOUJUSTHADTOBETHERE.

Nina Conti

Nina Conti has perfected the art of externalising the monkey-mind of her inner critic for our amusement, and she does it brilliantly. Then she takes ventriloquism to a whole new level when she gets members of the audience up on stage, straps a remote-controlled mask with huge lips on them, and says “Don’t worry, I’ll do the talking for you.” All they have to do is stand there for the most part, and the result is hilarious. She either knows intuitively what they’re really thinking, or lives in a fantasy world that’s even funnier.

In one part of the show, Nina’s alter-ego monkey put her in a hypnotic trance, took control of the show and then proceeded to ask for questions from the audience. Feeling like a smart-arse, I yelled out: “What’s the meaning of life?” This led to a fun, engaging and somewhat nihilistic dialogue, which worked even better given that I was down the back of the room where Nina, being in a hypnotic trance, clearly couldn’t see where I was and had to ask which direction to point the puppet in. Surreal and hilarious. Monkey asked “Are you a seeker?” and “What do you do?”, to which I replied “I’m a comedian”. Judging by its curtly cynical and amusing answer, pursuing comedy won’t lead me to enlightenment… but I’m still willing to fail trying.

Akmal Saleh

Whenever I see a show by Akmal Saleh, I never really know what it is about. I don’t think he knows what it’s about either. But hey, the guy is funny so who’s complaining? Rockhampton, apparently.

Miles Allen

I was a late bloomer: I got into Breaking Bad late in life, when season 5 had just come out on DVD. Thanks to my local library’s phenomenal DVD collection, I had a month-long Breaking Bad festival where I barely left the house except to hunt for food, and the next instalment. It was rather heavy-going. So imagine my delight to find Miles Allen had packed all 5 seasons into a single hour of One Man Breaking Bad. This was a really fun way to revisit the show without having to spend another month, nor wind up with a crystal meth addiction. Bitches!

Sara Pascoe

What a welcome treat to have a comedian including vital lessons on evolutionary psychology, sociology and human sexuality in her act. I’ve also read Sperm Wars (or perhaps it was Sex At Dawn, which covers similar ground), and appreciated the in-depth analysis of why modern relationships don’t work as well as we expect, as much as the comedy. Apparently Sara Pascoe‘s partner is also a comedian, and they use each other in their respective routines. If that’s not symbiosis, I don’t know what is.

Kitty Flanagan

Kitty Flanagan is funny, sexy, sassy… and single? How can this be, or is it just a comedy ruse so that she can do routines about her ex-partner? Well, it was funny. I can’t help noticing that the audience was about 90% female, which improved my odds of hooking up significantly. I’d say more, but I’m afraid that she’ll see it as use the material against me in a future show.

Tom Gleeson

One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on TV was Tom Gleeson‘s iPhone rant from Good News Week. The great thing about seeing him live is that you get the adult version, not the PG-rated one that we usually see on TV. With years of experience making people laugh, he can even make stories about his kids entertaining to other people. As he said in his act: “I nail this, every time”. Cocky, yes; but also engaging and funny.

Genevieve Fricker

What do you get when you take a musical comedienne with a strained arm and put her on-stage with a piano and a busted electric guitar? No, it’s not a joke; it was the plight of Gen Fricker the evening I saw her at the festival. An unfortunate incident helping her father move furniture (you’ll know not to do that again) had left her arm in a sling, and although the guitar issue turned out to be a problem with the speakers, she only found that out later. Ms Fricker handled the situation like a pro, using it all for comic value. Definitely one of the most likeable performers at the festival, she’s also great value when you run into her off-stage.

Jeff Green

What are you to do on a quiet Monday night at the festival, when most other comedians are recovering from their weekend hangovers? Check out Jeff Green, that’s what. What is it with UK comedians coming to Australia to steal our women though? Surely it’s not just for residency in Australia, is it?

Susie Youssef

Another recently-claimed friend of mine from Sydney, it was great to see Susie Youssef doing her own show at the festival. I’ve seen Susie do Improv before many times, but not stand-up… so what a treat!

Ray Badran

My mate Ray Badran was Dazed & Confused after pulling the PR coup of the festival with a brilliantly mis-executed audience interaction during a pre-festival show that got his name into papers as far away as the U.K. All publicity is good publicity, Ray. Nothing like a little controversy to get the word out there.

Joel Ozborn

Took a random punt on Joel Ozborn, who I’d never heard of before. He was funny, and he did it without putting anybody else down. My head was pretty much spinning by this point in the festival so I can’t recall much else about his show except that it included a little guitar, a little less keyboard, a shoe, and that it was held in the kitchen.

Luke Heggie

Luke Heggie has finely honed cynicism into an art form. If I ever have another BBQ, he’s invited. His bit about gentleman’s clubs had me falling off my seat, and although he says he isn’t special, I’m not so sure. He has a show at the Melbourne International Comedy festival, and that’s pretty special. I also chatted to him after the show and he seemed pretty cool.

Stuart Daulman

I took a punt on Stuart Daulman because the title of his show Stuart Daulman Is An Absolute Credit reminded me of the hilarious (to me, anyway) airline food reference from The Castle. I really wasn’t quite sure what was going on during most of this show, but by the end I reckon I almost got it. It’s a performance, not just a dude telling stories. I also learned how to use for dead birds for the art of seduction. I hope the beautiful Haaaaannah gets to see his show one day.

Rob Lloyd

I was stunned by Rob Lloyd‘s show Rob Lloyd vs The Monsters, based on his childhood anxieties. I was hoping for some helpful insights into my adult anxieties, which I suspect go back to my own childhood. But mainly I was just stunned. You can take that however you like. It was, nevertheless, an impressive performance piece; if you’re into that sort of thing.

The Festival Club

After realising that returning to my hostel to sleep any time before about 1 or 2 am was completely pointless given the two trams and a suburban train line right outside the window, I abandoned the idea of getting a decent nights sleep altogether and ended almost every night late at The Festival Club. Some of these nights were recorded by the ABC for Comedy Up Late, which was cool because it meant I got to relive them on iview after getting home.

Acts I remember include:

Mark Watson had my favourite line from the festival: “I would do that religiously. And by religiously I mean: without really thinking it through in detail”.

John Kearns had impressive teeth.

Kano Mami was hard to describe, but fun to watch.

Djuki Mala got their dance moves on.

Rhys Nicholson reminded me why I’m straight.

Lawrence Mooney made me laugh.

DeAnne Smith had a sweet song with helpful pick-up lines in it.

Die Roten Punkte at Haus Party were either a really silly duo of German musicians, or taking the piss.

It was nice for Mike Wilmot to be here.

So You Think You Can Mime. I think they can.

The guy who won the Lip Sync Battle with an unforgettable rendition of What A Feeling from Flashdance.

Set List

Let’s face it: we like seeing other people suffer. It’s funny, because we know the pain is happening to someone else. And comedians are funny for a living… So what could be funnier than a comedian suffering on stage? That’s the dark side of Set List. The light side is that it can inspire comic genius by assisting with the free flow of streams of consciousness as topics that the comedian has never seen before appear on the screen.

The highlight here for me was Sara Pascoe’s improvised four walls to the prison of the mind; and the guy who literally ran off-stage mid-way through the “set” after freaking out. He made me feel a lot better about myself.

Shaggers

Shaggers, the show where comics talk about sex, became a regular feature of my festival calendar after first seeing it 2 years ago on the suggestion of my mate Peter. On that night, one of the comedians went totally ballistic riffing on the audience, and it was absolutely hilarious.

This time around, most of the comics talked about how they hadn’t been laid in ages; so it was more of a show about not shagging. Desperation isn’t attractive; and maybe it was a bad omen because I totally failed to hook up with any of the cute girls in the audience that night too.

Other Randoms

A few other random highlights were:

Seeing Simon Taylor totally own a room full of screaming drunk idiots in a pub.

I’m the kind of person who sees Bob Downe in Big Top Bob.

If I wasn’t in a bad mood, Greg Fleet was probably funny.

Rebecca De Unamuno did some remarkable improvised characters.

Reliving Becky Lucas‘s bestest childhood best friendship.

59 Free Comedy inspired a pleasant tram ride to Richmond.

Outdoor Performers

I also saw plenty of outdoor performers in Federation Square and just across the road from the Town Hall. The most memorable ones were:

Mr Moriyasu: I’m still not clear if he’s actually Japanese, or taking the piss. But he’s funny, and he really does go inside that balloon. I’m hungry!

Trash Test Dummies: Who knew wheelie bins could be such fun?

Jessica Arpin nicked some girl’s boyfriend on a Swiss bicycle.

Sharon from Canada’s voice really grated on me.

Random Meetings

Another fun highlight of the festival was bumping into or seeing famous people from TV. They’re a little different in person; for one thing, you can talk back to them:

Julia Zemiro was friendly, engaging, and even helped me with my social skills.

Andrew Hansen was also really friendly and even gave me a helpful response to my silly question: “How can I get on TV?”

Lawrence Leung was busy filming something outside the town hall when I saw him, so I didn’t interrupt.

Claire Hooper looks pretty much the same in real life as she does on TV. Fancy that.

David Collins questioned my judgement for seeing Bob Downe’s show Big Top Bob, asking “What kind of person goes to see that?”, which I thought was a bit mean… so I decided not to mention him here.

[bpod-bpod]

Vessel Control

The role of a protein called arpin in regulating the inner protein scaffold (cytoskeleton) and permeability of the cells lining blood vessels (endothelium) revealed in normal and inflammatory states

Read the published research article here

Image from work by Armando Montoya-García and colleagues

Department of Molecular Biomedicine CINVESTAV-IPN, Mexico City, Mexico

Image originally published with a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)

Published in eLife (reviewed preprint), August 2024

You can also follow BPoD on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook

[gainstrive]

i wanted to do an aether gijinka as soon as they came out because COME ON theyre cute! this is Arpine, he's an unbred fully gened gen one, up on the AH for 2000 gems. his transparent portrait is here.

[localbardofmind]

happy 413 (for me at least) yall

heres the extended extended zodiac chart. names under the cut

time: arsein, taursein, gemsein, cansein, lesein, virsein, libsein, scorsein, sagisein, caprisein, aquasein, pisein

space: argi, taurgi, gemgi, cangi, legi, virgi, ligi, scorgi, sagigi, caprigi, aquagi, pigi

heart: arlio, taurlio, gemlio, canlio, lelio, virlio, liblio, scorlio, sagilio, caprilio, aquilio, pilio

mind: arna, taurna, gemna, canna, lena, virna, libna, scorna, sagina, caprina, aquana, pina

light: arpin, taurpin, gempin, canpin, lepin, virpin, libpin, scorpin, sagipin, capripin, aquapin, pipin

void: arittazius, taurittazius, gemittazius, canittazius, leittazius, virittazius, libittazius, scorittazius, sagittazius, caprittazius, aquittazius, pittazius

breath: arui, taurui, gemui, canui, leui, virui, libui, scorui, sagui, caprui, aqui, piui

blood: arcep, taurcep, gemcep, cancep, lecep, vircep, libcep, scorcep, sagicep, capricep, aquacep, picep

hope: arcius, taurcius, gemcius, cancius, lecius, vircius, libcius, scorcius, sagicius, capricius, aquacius, picius

rage: arinorn, taurinorn, geminorn, caninorn, leinorn, virinorn, libinorn, scorinorn, saginorn, caprinorn, aquinorn, pinorn

life: arscies, taurscies, gemscies, canscies, lescies, virscies, libscies, scorscies, sagiscies, capriscies, aquascies, piscies

doom: armina, taurmina, gemmina, canmina, lemina, virmina, libmina, scormina, sagimina, caprimina, aquamina, pimina

[ycscnia]

@hypnotticpoison

At this point, Yesenia was in need of seeking refuge. There had been so many shaking of hands, so many pleasantries. She was tired of answering question about her children, or her work (more specifically, lack thereof), so she needed an escape, and she took the first person she could find.

Arpine didn’t seem to be talking to anyone so she easily slid in, giving a warm smile. “I swear, each year, this feels more like work than it does a party.” She sighs, sipping her champagne. “How are you? You look great.”

[mariacallous]

Yesterday, demonstrators blocked Yerevan’s central Republic Square while the government was in session, demanding Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan’s resignation. The protests resumed today outside of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs building, where police detained more than two dozen people. The protest leader, the prominent Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan, hails from the northeastern Tavush province on the border with Azerbaijan, which ceded four villages to Baku last week. Since the demarcation process began in April, Galstanyan has channeled public backlash into weeks of anti-government demonstrations and even announced plans to run for prime minister. The opposition, meanwhile, is trying to jump on the bandwagon. But Armenians remain deeply skeptical of any and all political figures. For The Beet, journalists Sona Hovsepyan and Arpine Hovhannisyan report on the ongoing protests in Armenia over the delimitation of its shared border with Azerbaijan.

This story first appeared in The Beet, a weekly email dispatch from Meduza covering Central and Eastern Europe, the Caucasus, and Central Asia. Sign up here to get the next issue delivered directly to your inbox.

[creatuesfromthedeep]

Did someone mention Flight Rising Hunger Games? ...No? Just me?

The Bloodbath, Day 1, and Night 1 below:

World's most unstable lesbian is now armed with a sword, more at 6.

Wow, not pulling any bunches with the Modern dragons, huh? Talva I can understand, but Danyl's bloodlust is surprising.

Me too, bud, me too

The most unexpected teamup in history. I'm going insane. Jovial would not put up with him

HOLM NO--

Draxogax and Telesphorus I can 100% see going feral on day one, but Sycamore joining them... Did she just stumble into this? Is this a Jelloapocalypse green Pikachu situation?

Insert "Let's go lesbians!" meme w Sirel surrounded by his terrifying entourage of women

Monroe or Abby winning would've been incredible but alas, their lives were cut short too soon.

Time for the first night!

This is, honestly, the most awkward thing I can imagine. This is a tentative truce because neither of them thinks they can successfully take the other in a fight

Sycamore has been rescued from Draxogax and Telesphorus! By Arorangi, surprisingly. I guess Arorangi took pity on her

Arpine, who is one of the only dragons to 1v1 Abran, is the dark horse in this race and I am so excited that she's finally letting loose. Sorry Draxogax, shouldn't have been in a death game with Arpine as a contestant, that's a skill issue

Oh this is adorable. Slug is a genuine sweetheart and she wouldn't leave poor Equinox to die, even if it means having a much more dangerous contestant running around

You know, I never really thought about Celozon and Labyrinth's relationship, and I'm going to assume it's bad based off of this

They're probably telling eachother stories of the places they've traveled to. I can imagine Vorrutyer snuggled up next to Carantog while Inddrin stands in front of a fire, doing shadow puppets as she recalls the tale of rebuilding Sleetstorm

Which home, buddy? Do you mean Sector 42, you big ole sap?

Talva's reign of terror cut mercilessly short. L

[lycantropey]

melissa arpin-duimstra for the cover of bloweyelashwish