#as I was typing this out I finally saw that each word in the title starts with the letter a

[rollforgaslight]

I demand auegfort adventuring academy number stickers as merch

"we heart aaaa"

"my child graduated from aaaa"

I NEED IT

[roturo]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ SHE'S BACK!

GUESS HE COULDN'T KEEP IT IN, SO HE HAD TO KEEP IT INSIDE! ₊˚⊹♡ dilf!gojo satoru x teacher!reader

tags: smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink, exhibitionism, getting caught, he fucks you while he's on the phone, overstimulation, dumbfication, fluff, gojo has an ex-wife, yuuji is gojo's son, age-gap.

A/N: well, this was surely and adventure and maybe self-indulgent title because guess what?, i'm back baby.

It was a nice morning, he felt clean. Like his life was finally steadying. Even after some stressful weeks trying to get rid of his now ex-wife, he won the trial and kept Yuuji. Poor little boy, just turning 5 years old and he’s already facing all this type of stress. But thankfully he will not be experiencing enduring his crazy mother behavior. Which basically was a gold digger, and a bitch– Not that he would ever say that outloud, maybe with other words? Bastard? Witch? Not that it really matters right now.

He could finally take a break now, just focusing on raising his little boy, and being an old boring 31 year old dad. Life doesn’t sound that bad.

“Daddy! Daddy!,” His son went running to his arms, almost stumbling by himself- clear happiness shown on his face. Quickly, Gojo opened his arms ready to lift the young kid. “Miss Y/N congratulated me on my homework! She was pretty amazed!”

Your name wasn’t unknown to him, Yuuji was very open when talking about his favorite teacher, even though he hasn’t seen you yet- from what he’s been told you’re the kid’s favorite, including Yuuji’s. “I had to talk about who’s my hero, and I chose you!” If this day wasn’t going great, it was now. Because his son's comment just made his whole week, life even.

“Oh look dad!” The little boy pointed towards your moving frame, each time getting clñoser towards them. “Daddy, this is Miss Y/N!” Yuuji kept presenting the both of you. He was really excited to present his two favorite persons to each other- but all Gojo could think of what’s how young and beautiful you looked. He expected someone older, maybe even an old lady with wrinkles and that loving grandma vibes, but what he saw made his heart beat in a way he never thought he would feel ever more.

“Daddy? Are you paying attention?” The little boy gained Gojo’s attention back, face now looking at him again. “I’m sorry kiddo, kinda just zoned out there. What did you just say?”

“Uhh, what was it? Oh! Did I tell you Miss Y/N told me you were a very handsome man?”

“Yuuji!” His gaze moved towards your blushed face, a hand covering part of your face. “I’m so sorry Mr.Gojo, I didn’t intend to say-”

Gojo cut you off before you could continue apologizing “It’s okay, I also think Ms.Y/N is a very beautiful woman.” 

Uh, well. So this is how kinda you found yourself in this situation right now.

You swear it wasn’t your intention! You really tried, you really did, but how could someone say no to Mr.Gojo? And mostly because he really showed his attraction towards you. Sending Yuuji with a rose for you every day, and the little boy was rooting for his dad, because dear god- he did not shut up about him, and how happy he would be with a new girlfriend and maybe one he could call ‘mommy’ and give him a sister. 

That made you blush. 

Not only because the little boy commented on it, and was agreeing- but because it was his dad’s idea.

“You’re so wet, s-shit.” Loud thrusts filled the room, he was fucking you raw on his sofa– waiting for Yuuji’s mom to bring him back, the little boy was eager to come back and ‘see Ms.Y/N and his daddy finally starting to fall in love’

Kids being kids. But, he was right- the both of you were falling in love with eachother.

Gojo throws back his head, immersed in the warmth radiating off your walls and he lets your moans take him to another world. In a haste decision, he slips your dress over your head before tossing it. He mouths at your tits, plump and stiff between his lips, and he hurdles a deeper round of thrusts inside you. 

When you get a little too loud, his hand comes over to clamp your mouth, wolf like eyes staring back at you, “Shut it. You don’t deserve to speak.”

His thin white tee that stays a barrier between you and him does not hide the rippling body underneath that seemed to be sculpted by gods. He presses into you, grunting, using you like his personal sex doll and you embrace it, thrive from it, come to it. Your hips contract, slewing in perfect circles, before having your legs fall gradually lifeless as you arousal drip down your thighs.

“Ffffucckkk- oh baby, would you like that? Be full of me and my baby? Make me a daddy again?”

“yesyesyesyes, make me yours Mr.Gojo-” 

He pays your climax no mind,a smirk clearly showing on his face while he fucks you on his sofa- You could muffle your screams of pleasure easier here. Turning your head back to face him, you notice now he’s shirtless–taut and shiny from sweat like a large set of Hawaiian rolls–before seeing how quick he is to fit back inside you.

“Good girl.” His husky voice resonates and pushes you back into the sheets. “Good girls get rewards, don’t they?” Your poor fucked up mind couldn’t think clearly now. The way your abused and overstimulated pussy was still taking his rock hard cock gratefully inside you was making every feel giddy. A sudden noise bringing back a little part of your senses, Gojo clearly grunting grabbed his what you suppose phone, and answered. Not bothering to stop his thrusts.

“Yeah?,” His voice sounded almost like a whisper because of how breathy it was. “Gojo? I’m almost at your house- Yuuji wanted some ice-cream and bought some for you and… your new girlfriend?” His chuckle interrupted his ex-wife’s conversation, accompanied with a whimper at the feeling of you clenching on him- overstimulation clearly bringing you back to climax soon again.

A slap was heard from his part of the line, an unbelievable laugh coming from his ex-wife line, clearly noticing what was going on and then she finally heard you moan. You couldn’t keep it in anymore, and you were too fucked out to feel embarrased about it right now.

“Finish before I leave Yuuji- Enjoy yourself.” Gojo was so lost in pleasure that he didn’t even realize she hung up before he even processed what happened.

His grunts and sounds of skins slapping are all you hear as he pounds you back into the sofa. It feels like heaven beneath his weight. You were feeling flushed to the touch, but making contact with his skin was like an inferno. He was the embodiment of heat and as suffocating as that could’ve been, it melts you like it’s how it always should’ve been.

His pace eventually falters, followed by a hushed “fuck,” and he empties out into your used hole. The moment he pulled out, a knock was heard. 

“Shit. Can you walk?”

PART 2

[joelalorian]

Fall Into Me - Chapter Four: Until I had met you there was no sun in my sky

dbf!Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.

Word Count: 3.5k

Chapter Warnings: Mature, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, confusion, and self doubt. Two idiots falling and pining for each other, but there's a little bit of progress. Tommy is the hero in this chapter. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad. Emily is modeled after my sister and JB is based on my dad, who used to try setting me up with his younger work buddies when I was in my 20s :)

Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Thank you for reading this little tale! I did not expect all the love - my heart is fit to burst over all the wonderful comments and reblogs!

Chapter Three | Main Masterlist

Sleep evaded Joel Saturday night, his mind unable to shut down and rest. He spent half the night searching for words to fit what he was experiencing. The right one didn’t occur to him until nearly five o’clock in the morning.

Turmoil.

That was the perfect word to describe the utter confusion and uncertainty boiling inside him.

His date went about as well as could be expected when one wasn’t particularly interested in the other person. There was conversation, but it mostly revolved around Annica and her interests. She asked a few polite questions about Joel but didn’t seem too interested in his responses. To be fair, they were short and rather ineloquent, but he barely had the chance to talk about Sarah before the woman changed the subject. She was also very much not his type.

She wasn’t you.

That’s the part which caused the most turmoil.

Joel didn’t realize how quickly he was falling for you until he was on a date with someone else. It somehow felt like a betrayal toward you, even though you and Joel weren’t together. Even though you didn’t even know that he liked you, more than liked you.

This entire thing was eating him up inside, all your interactions since Friday, but especially the way you bolted from him last night. He didn’t understand what happened until he checked out his face in the mirror, your parting comment finally making sense.

Annica had kissed him goodnight when he dropped her off. He knew she wanted more, at least a real kiss, but he offered nothing other than a loose hug and brief thanks for joining him. So, she pressed her painted lips to his cheek for several moments too long, subtly trying to turn his face toward hers, before he finally stepped back and walked away. He didn’t even wait for her to get into her house safely.

To his dismay, she left a clear and distinct reminder of her on his cheek that he was not aware of until you mentioned it. His face burned with the feeling of being marked like territory, and the worst part was you saw it. Who the fuck knew what you thought of him now.

Joel needed advice, someone to talk this all through with. If the situation didn’t involve you, he would have gone to you for advice. You were so easy to talk to and he opened up more easily with you than he had with anyone else in his entire life. But that was out of the question for… obvious reasons.

Your dad was equally as easy to talk to, a quality you must have inherited from him. But he couldn’t turn to JB about this for the same obvious reasons.

That left his brother. Tommy would give Joel a good ribbing about all this. Joel wasn’t ashamed to admit that his brother had more practical experience with dating and complicated relationships, especially recently, than he did. It was time to capitalize on all of Tommy’s shenanigans.

Dangerously under-caffeinated and bleary-eyed, Joel made bacon, eggs, and pancakes for the usual Sunday morning family breakfast. Tommy joined them a little after nine o’clock and helped himself to the spread. He knew better than to ask Joel about his date in front of Sarah, so the younger brother made quiet conversation with Sarah as Joel sipped at his coffee. She told him all about her adventure to the movies with you and how much she loved hanging out with you, how smart you were, and how pretty.

A stupid grin spread over Joel’s face as his daughter spoke about you. He could feel Tommy’s narrowed gaze burning into the side of his head, which he ignored until Sarah finished her food and ran off to play a video game in the living room.

“You gonna make me ask?” Tommy grinned at Joel as he cleared the table. Joel merely quirked a brow and focused on washing the dishes. “Fine, ya ol’ grumpy ass. How was the date?”

“Was alright. She talked, a lot,” Joel emphasized, “and mostly about herself. We don’t have much in common other than we like to eat. The movie she picked to see was God awful. I’d rather have seen the other movie with Sarah.”

“Really?” Tommy placed the last of the dirty flatware next to the sink, watching as Joel scrubbed each item before rinsing it off. “Annica texted me that she had a wonderful time and hoped there’d be a second date. Asked if I could put in a good word for her. Guess that’s not happenin’.”

“There’d be no point. She’s not who I’m interested in.” The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying, and he cringed when Tommy latched right on them.

“Ohhhh, and who might you be interested in, dear brother?” The shit-eating grin on the younger brother’s face let Joel know that Tommy already had an idea on who piqued his interest. “Couldn’t be JB’s hot little daughter, could it? You going cradle robbin’ now?”

Punching his brother in the arm, hard, Joel growled. “I ain’t robbin’ any cradles, asshole. She’s only about nine years younger than me.”

“Oh, is that all?” Tommy teased, rubbing his arm to soothe the sting.

“Don’t get me started on how you almost got busted for statutory rape last year, dickhead.”

“Hey now, I’m just teasing. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch.” Tommy surrendered, adding a grumbled, “And you know damn well that wasn’t on purpose. That girl looked 25! She sure had me fooled.”

Joel nodded, heading out to the back patio with another cup of coffee. Tommy followed, stopping briefly to grab a can of soda from the fridge. The pair sat quietly listening to the sound of songbirds singing the songs of their people before Joel finally spoke.

“I feel like an idiot asking this, but how do you tell if a woman is into you?”

Tommy nearly spilled soda all down the front of himself, the question caught him so off-guard. “Whadda ya mean?” he spluttered, trying not to choke on the carbonated liquid.

Rolling his big brown eyes with a huff, Joel glared at his brother. “I mean just what I said. I’m so outta practice with this. I keep second guessin’ everything. I just don’t know…”

Taking pity on his older brother, Tommy refrained from razzing him further. He was intrigued by this version of his brother who lacked self-confidence, so different from the over-confident man Joel used to be, at least when it came to women.

“Just so I understand, do you want to know how to tell if any woman is into you or a specific woman?”

Brows pulling together, Joel stared at Tommy blankly for a moment. “Does it make a difference?”

Tommy’s lips spread into a wide grin, deep brown eyes sparkling mischievously. “It sure as hell does, brother. There are few key ways to tell with most women, but if it’s a specific woman you’re curious about, I may have some intel.”

The struggle to hide his overwhelming curiosity on the ‘intel’ his brother had was a losing game, and Joel relented, his cheeks growing hot as he uttered the words. “Fine. It’s JB’s daughter.”

The room stilled as the brothers stared at each other, the grin on Tommy’s face growing impossibly wider until nearly all his pearly whites were on display. “I knew it! You dirty dog.”

“Tommy,” Joel growled, drawing out the two syllables until his brother sat back in his chair with a satisfied smirk.

“Fine, no razzin’.” Tommy grumbled. He waited a few beats until Joel grew even more uncomfortable. “She’s into you, too.”

Joel perked up at that. “That’s your intel? How do you know?”

Looking around the backyard, Tommy thought of all the times he’d been around and caught you ogling his brother when you thought no one was watching, but none rivaled that time in the kitchen when you stared as Joel pulled his tee shirt off to put in on right side out. Tallying it all up in his mind, Tommy was certain that you had a thing for his brother. And now, it seemed he had a thing for you, too.

The question Tommy had now was, would either of you do anything about it?

With recent history as proof, he had his doubts.

Perhaps it was time to give you each a little nudge.

“It’s in the way she looks at you, all wide-eyed with wonder, like she’s imagining what it’d be like to be with you. I flirted with her for nearly an hour one day and she never looked at me like that once.” Tommy smirked at the glassy look that overcame his brother’s eyes. “Well, that and the drool dripping down her chin every time she sees you.”

“Yeah… wait, what?” It took a moment for Joel to catch on. “Fuckin’ asshole, I swear. She doesn’t drool when she looks at me.”

Laughter rumbled from deep within Tommy’s chest. “She might as well do with as into you as she is. I’m telling you, pay attention to how she is around you and you’ll see.”

The brothers fell silent again with Joel’s thoughts drowning in you. If what Tommy said was true, then you must be hurting over the fact that he went on a date with someone else, more so since you also saw him on that date. Already feeling like such a dick, worry over you weighed more heavily on him this morning. He had to fix this, but how?

Part of Joel wanted to rush over to JB’s and check on you, but the other part was terrified of how that would work out, especially if your dad was home and wanted to know why his best friend was frantic to see his daughter.

Shit. JB. Joel still needed to figure out how to navigate that part of this entire situation. The two of you could like each other all day long, but how would JB react?

Joel envisioned several scenarios that ended with him getting his nose bashed in by your old man. He wasn’t looking forward to that.

“What about JB?” Joel finally broke the silence, looking once again to his younger brother for guidance. “If I’m gonna do this, I want to do it right.”

Placing his empty bottle on the patio table between them, Tommy nodded. “Ok. Let’s think about this. Do you always check with a chick’s dad before askin’ her out?”

“’Course not, but this is different.”

“I get that but hear me out. What if you try before you buy?” Tommy asked.

Joel immediately stiffened. “I’m not gonna just fuck her before asking her on a date. Jesus, Tommy.” Not that he didn’t want to fuck you… he most certainly did, but Joel wanted to do this right. He wanted more than just sex. He wanted something meaningful, and he suspected you would as well.

“That’s not what I meant, asshole. Ya can quit clutchin’ your pearls like you ain’t banged a chick before the first date before.”

“Tommy,” Joel growled again. Little brothers were the worst no matter what age they were.

“Jeez, alright, fine. You’re really into her, I get it. I’m not sayin’ sleep with her first. I’m suggestin’ you ask her out and see where this is goin’ before you go to JB with your tail between your legs, is all.” Tommy explained, already getting fed up with how easily Joel got his feathers ruffled.

Considering the advice, and ignoring his brother’s snippy tone, Joel bobbed his head in a nod. “That’s not a bad idea, actually.”

“I’m full of good ideas, sometimes. I got another one, actually. Get your grumpy ass to the store and buy some new shirts. Everything you own is at least ten years old and worn down. You need to dress better if you’re gonna date a younger woman.”

Another point to Tommy. He sure was racking them up.

“Fine. I fuckin’ hate to admit it, but you’re right,” Joel grumbled, looking down at the tee shirt he was wearing. It used to be black and faded to a cloudy gray from years of wearing and washing. “You mind watchin’ Sarah for a while so I can run to the mall?”

“Not at all, brother. I was hoping to watch the game on your flat screen anyway.” Tommy led the way back inside the house.

Emily: Sounds like you need some retail therapy, asap.

The pair of you spent the past hour texting about Joel’s date the night before. Emily’s emoji reactions were priceless as you recounted seeing them together at the movie theater and she was pissed on your behalf when you told her about the lipstick mark on his cheek. The conversation came full circle before Emily suggested the retail therapy.

You: Omg do I ever. Mall?

Emily: I can’t ☹ Ed wants my help with the garden. Again. I swear, I hate this fucking garden.

You: Booo. How dare you pick your husband over me

Emily: I gotta go with the one who has the bigger dick. Ur girl has needs u know that 😉

You: Yeah yeah. Chat later?

Emily: You bet. Have fun. Buy lots!

An hour later, you walked through Barton Creek Square, window shopping with a chocolate smoothie clutched in your hand. Not sure exactly what you were in the mood for, you started with clothing. This mall was a bit upscale for your budget, but you always enjoyed perusing the department store discount racks. Tossing your empty cup into the garbage can, you entered the large store.

Somehow, you found yourself searching through flannel shirts in the men’s department. Stopping for a moment once you realized what you were doing, you sighed. There was no escaping thoughts of Joel Miller, even subconsciously, it seemed. Huffing in frustration, you turned to walk back to the women’s section where you’d find things you actually needed when you heard your name.

Joel stood on the other side of the rack, eyes wide with surprise at the sight of you. His cheek was clean, no lipstick mark in sight, you noted. Just the normal, totally endearing patchy scruff. “Hey darlin’, what are you doing here?”

“Shopping,” you stated the obvious with a shrug, delighted at the pink tinge creeping up his cheeks.

“Me, too. Obviously.” Joel nodded, rolling his eyes – at you or himself, you weren’t sure. “I could use your help, actually.”

You weren’t expecting that. He looked at you with such open hope in his eyes, you couldn’t deny him. “Ok, shoot.” Your heart nearly exploded at the smile that spread across his face, putting his dimple on full display.

“I can’t decide which of these to go with,” Joel replied, holding up several flannels. After a moment, he put those across the top of the discount rack and held up a pile of tee shirts. “Or these.”

Eyes taking in the details of each selection – he had good taste; you could picture each option on him – you hummed. “Have you tried any of them on?” Joel shook his head, the mop of curls swaying deliciously with the movement. “Ok. Go try them on. That’s usually how I decide.”

Turning toward the fitting room with a nod, Joel paused and turned back around. “Come with me? I need your honest opinion on each one.”

Brow furrowed, you followed behind him wordlessly, eyes straying to his backside of their own accord. He wore the same dark, fitted jeans as last night and you swore beneath your breath at yet another reminder of his date. No amount of staring at his nice ass could pull that jealous feeling from your gut. He went on a date with someone and for all you knew, it could have been the best damn date of his entire damn life.

Leaning back against the wall opposite the fitting room Joel chose, you crossed your arms in front of your chest and wondered what the hell you were doing. You came to the mall for a distraction, to treat yourself and get your mind off the man on the other side of the fitting room door. Now you were… what? His wardrobe consultant?

Helping Joel pick out new clothes seemed like the job of a girlfriend, not his daughter’s babysitter. Let’s face it, you thought, that’s all you were to him. Mood growing sourer by the second, you startled as the door ripped open in front of you.

“What do you think?”

The universe was a fickle bitch. It wasn’t fair that Joel stood there looking like the man of your dreams and you didn’t get to call him yours.

The first shirt Joel tried on fit like a glove, like the factory made it with his frame as the model in mind. The material had just the right amount of stretch across the breadth of his chest and shoulders, while hanging on for dear life around his biceps.

After ogling him for far too long, your eyes finally met Joel’s. “Looks good,” you said, the cadence of your voice not giving away the riotous flutter of desire flaring to life deep in your lower belly. “Let’s see the next one.”

Chocolate eyes sparkled with delight at your response as Joel slipped back into the fitting room. What you wouldn’t give to follow him in there. Already picturing it in your mind, you would slip to your knees in front of him, fingers undoing his belt and the button of his jeans before slowly sliding the zipper down. You’d wind one hand inside his pants to trace the curve of his cock through his boxer briefs before slipping the length of him out of the little secret pocket. Joel would be trying on his shirts as your lips—

“How about this one?”

“Jesus fucking nutcracker!” you exclaimed, Joel’s voice jolting you right out of that wonderful little daydream. So deep into the fantasy, you hadn’t heard the fitting room door open.

Concerned, Joel reached out a hand, his calloused fingertips and palm running over the bare skin of your forearm as you steadied yourself. “Do, uh… do you have Tourette’s or something?”

Bemused, you blinked up at him, head thumping back against the wall. “What? No, no. I was just lost in thought, and you startled me.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with having Tourette’s, you know.” Joel tripped over himself to make sure you didn’t think he was making fun of the disorder.

You waved him off. “Of course not.” Clearing your throat, eyes closing to recenter yourself, you counted to ten. The heat of Joel’s gaze like a burn on your skin, you opened your eyes and assessed his shirt. It was nice, a deep burgundy color, but the fit differed from the last one. You hated it. “I like the way the other one fit you better.”

The pattern continued until Joel tried on every shirt in his pile. You managed to keep your mind from straying again by making conversation.

“How did your date go last night?” You dreaded the answer but needed to know.

“It was… I’ve had better dates. She talked a lot,” he said through the fitting room door. “I couldn’t wait for it to be over, honestly. I just wanted to be home.”

“So, no second date then?” you confirmed, butterflies beginning to take flight in your belly.

“Hell no.”

A wave of relief washed over you at the conviction in Joel’s voice, but you tried not to let it show on your face or in your voice as he stepped through the door. “That’s too bad. You deserve to find someone great, Joel.”

He looked at you for a long time, his eyes penetrating like he was trying to tell you something without using words. You just had no idea what. You were about to bid him farewell as he paid for the shirts you chose – the bluish gray tee shirt that fit him so well and a flannel with similar hues, and two more just like them – when he stopped you.

“Uh, would you have lunch with me?” he asked shyly, eyes brimming with such eager hopefulness you nearly melted.

Part of you wanted to turn him down over hurt feelings he wasn’t even aware of, but you couldn’t. Not after what he just told you about his date. The other part of you screamed not to read too much into it, that he wasn’t asking you on a date. It would just be lunch with your boss. But the final part of you, the hopeless romantic who wore her heart on her sleeve and just helped the man pick out clothes like a girlfriend would, screamed that this could be your chance to get closer, that it could be a date if you made it one.

Fearing you stayed silent too long arguing with yourself, you rushed out a quick, “Sure.” Joel’s face lit up like you’d never seen before. He didn’t look anywhere near this happy when he left for his dinner date the night before.

tbc

Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx @pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @tammythr @lulawantmula @islacharlotte @allyourfavesinoneblog @lover-of-books-and-tea @pedropascalsbbg @ashleyfilm @brittmb115 @lilmizmoz @loveisacowboyyy @shotgun-shelby @deninoe

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Ok. I have a request took me a lot of courage to finally request and shat myself a couple times but anyway! A one shot where choso lives in y/ns dorm with them and he was like doing his hair and kept messing up and gave up and started crying (I FEEL LIKE THATS SOMETHING HED DO THE POOR BOY:() thennnn y/n walks in their dorm and sees him crying and then comforts him and does his hair for him!!

IF THAT AIN'T LOVE THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!

synopsis// choso is having an off day.

➚ pairing// choso x gn!reader ➚ word count// 1.4k

contents// frustrated/sad choso? idk just some hurt/comfort in a way! fluff?? could be read as either platonic or romantic doesnt really matter i supposeeee? i think it kinda reads more romantic tho

notes// anon ur actual fucking MIND. i was moved. literally right after reading ur request i opened up my notes and went to fucking WORKKK!!!! anyway sorry its so kinda all over the place but i hope u like it and it lived up to ur expectations!! n also sorry to everyone else for posting a oneshot mid smau its short n cute okay (AND ITS FUCKING CHOSO SO LIKE CMON???) i couldnt help myself !! also the title is lyrics from cupid's chokehold by gym class heroes... okay bye!

Sharing a dorm with Choso was heavenly.

Because of your conflicting schedules, half the time, you rarely actually saw each other. But even when you did, he was the type of roommate to keep to himself; he has his side of the room, and you have yours. Of course, you two talked here and there; he was actually pretty nice company whenever you two were actually in the room at the same time. But more often than not, the only time you would see him was late at night when you were just getting in to go to sleep.

Either way, the point is, you never really saw him around much. Choso was always quick and effective, so by the time you would head back to your dorm after a few of your classes, he would just be heading out or have already left.

Usually, his alarm would go off an hour before his classes, which is ample time for him. He’s done his routine hundreds of times before—doing his hair and eyeliner is practically muscle memory, and at this point he's sure he could do it in his sleep. but not today, apparently. Today his alarm goes off late—half an hour late. Which Choso isn’t panicked by, only slightly frustrated, but it's fine. That still leaves him another half an hour to get ready, so there's still plenty of time given that it only takes him 10–15 minutes to get ready, so it's fine. Everything is fine; he repeats it in his head like a mantra, like if he thinks it and says it enough, he’ll actually believe it.

Choso quickly dresses, then sits at his desk, where a little mirror sits. He sighs as he flips on a lamp and grabs his eyeliner. He doesn’t even have to think about it, instinctively taking the cap off and bringing it to his eye, only for it to crumble as it meets his waterline. Choso cusses under his breath as he blinks, attempting to get whatever fell into his eye out. When that doesn't work, he rubs his eye, only for it to spread eyeliner all across his eye and cheek. He groans, grabbing a cloth to wipe it off with, and once his face is clean, he doesn't even bother trying with his eyeliner again—looking at the time, he’s already wasted more than he wanted doing that. He’ll just do his hair and leave, or else he’ll be late.

Choso stills for a moment, forcing himself to take a deep breath to try and calm the nerves and frustration simmering beneath his skin—it's fine. He nods. Now somewhat calmer, he grabs his hair ties and gets to work… only for one of them to break as he’s trying to put his hair through it. Choso stares at himself in the mirror, eyes narrowed and swallowing harshly, as he desperately tries to ignore the rising heat going to his cheeks.

Whatever.

It's fine.

He’ll just do the other side of his hair...only for the same thing to happen. Choso can actively feel his heart racing—it's pounding against his chest and ringing in his ears—and he’s already too far gone to notice or even stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. He doesn’t really know why he’s actually crying, if he’s being honest. It’s not like this is the end of the world; he knows that, yet he can't stop himself. Too many things have gone wrong, and he’s barely woken up. First, his alarm goes off late, which isn't the most horrible thing within itself, but then his eyeliner crumbles and gets in his eye, and when he tries to wipe it away, it instead smears on his face. Then he rubs his face raw, trying to get it off, and now he can't do his fucking hair because his hair ties suddenly decided to disintegrate and snap in half.

He messily wipes at his tears and tries inhaling deeply for air in a feeble attempt to calm himself the tiniest bit down. It doesn't do anything. In fact, it makes things worse. His tears fall harder, and he’s choking in shallow breaths of air. If anyone walked in right this moment, they’d think something horrible happened, like one of his brothers died. and it's just his luck, or a very obvious lack thereof, when you walk in. Choso immediately starts scrambling to wipe his tears away and hide his face from you as you drop your things in shock—you hadn’t expected him to still be in the dorm, let alone be here crying.

“Holy shit, Choso, are you okay? What's wrong? Did something happen?” You panic, immediately running to his side.

He doesn’t say anything; he just takes in and lets out shaky breaths as he shakes his head, one arm outstretched to keep you at arm's length.

You frown and look around. For what? You’re not sure. Part of you thinks if you look hard enough, you'll find why he’s crying, but all you see are snapped hair ties, a crumbled, unsharpened eyeliner pencil, and a cloth full of eyeliner. That’s when it all starts to make sense. You smile softly at him, who's still hiding his red tear-stained face from you, before you grab his comb and a new pair of hair ties from his desk.

Choso doesn’t know what you're doing when he hears you shuffling around, and he refuses to meet your gaze, filled to the brim with embarrassment at having been caught crying, but his head involuntarily snaps up, looking at you through the mirror, when he feels you start to brush his hair. You're already staring back at him and flashing him a warm smile, not saying a word as you continue to detangle his hair.

“You don't have to do this,” he sniffles, finally calming down enough to say something.

"I know I don't," you shrug. "But I also know it sucks when it seems like nothing is working or going to plan, so..."

"I can do it myself-“

"Choso, just let me do this for you, please.”

He stares at you for a moment, studying your face as if trying to find something, and when he finds nothing but your soft eyes and willingness—your desire—to do this for him, he sighs and nods. You beam and gleefully get back to work on his hair, and Choso finds that he’s no longer embarrassed by being seen crying but rather by the fact he feels like a doll—but the worst part? It's kind of nice.

He likes having someone do this for him with no hesitation; he likes the way your fingers carefully rake through his hair to ensure there's no tangles even though you just combed it; he likes the way you don't tie the ponytails too tight like he usually does, which only results in a pounding headache he can't get rid of; he likes all of it.

He likes all of it so much so that he finds himself closing his eyes in complete bliss, drowning in your gentle touches. You poof up one of his ponytails a bit, ready to tell him you're done, when you look into the mirror and notice his eyes closed, looking like he’s in a whole other world. You can't fight your smile off as you play with his ponytail for a bit longer before slowly wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his shoulder.

“What do you think?” You whisper, your breath softly fanning against his ear.

Choso opens his eyes, surprised to see you pretty much hugging him from behind, yet he doesn't hate it, not one bit. Too caught up about how much he does not hate this; he doesn't respond, and it makes you nervous.

“Sorry… I know they don't look exactly like how you usually do them, but-“

"No, no,” he cuts you off quickly. “They look amazing... Thank you, y/n...”

You smile, happy with his answer, as you untangle yourself from him and stand up. “You should head out now, Choso; you're late.”

He blinks, totally forgetting about class, and hurriedly stands up. "Right, thank you again,” is all he’s saying before rushing out the door.

You giggle slightly before yawning and making your way to your bed, ready for your usual nap, when Choso comes rushing back into the dorm again. You stare at him wide-eyed, and he simply stares back.

You furrow your eyebrows, confused, and are about to ask if he's okay when suddenly he blurts out:

"I wouldn’t mind if you did my hair again.”

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[0oolookitsme]

Daddy of Three

Type - A One Shot again!

Verse - Footballer!Harry x Art Director!Y/n

Word Count - 2.2k

Warnings - None that I can find! (other than the fact that this is pure smut ofc)

A/n - Lowkey hate the title (you will too when you find out the context) but I just hope you enjoy this hahah <3

Kinks - Daddy kink, Face Fucking, Breeding Kink, Praise Kink.

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

Please rb to share!

Y/n was chopping up the vegetables she'd need for the meal she was going to cook tomorrow morning for Harry and Karan's lunch. Her eyes remained on her iPad's screen, on which she could see the page Carla was presenting in the meeting.

Clicking on the little mic icon by her knuckle, she unmuted herself. "Marla, don't you think that we should use red and yellow undertones? It's going to be a violent and a sad scene, I think it would work better," she said, not exactly agreeing with her idea of using green undertones.

"I agree," a few people wrote in the chat.

"But ma'am, we probably wouldn't have as much screen time for that scene. Plus, we have a scene inside the hotel's bathroom after that, which they tell us would give off green hues," Marla said, sliding photos till the bathroom set was on the screen.

Y/n hummed, laughing at how she'd absolutely forgotten about that. "Then I'd say that we do put green undertones but less. We need the switch between the scenes to be slightly puzzling – nothing like 'what the hell are they doing in the bathroom now' though," she said, making the other woman laugh and other people text the laughing emojis.

They agreed on trying the directory for the same the next day, and planned out a few more things before bidding goodbyes. Right at that time, Harry and Karan also got up from the couch as the show they were watching just ended.

"Are you done?" Harry asked her, walking behind Karan who seemed to be growing taller and taller everyday. It still mesmerized her, the resemblance between the two – same green eyes, same curly hair, same nose. Only his mouth matched with hers, other than that, he was a ditto copy of Harry.

"Yes," Y/n groaned while getting up, stretching the moment she was on her feet while taking a big yawn. "Not really, just a bit tired from all the screen time," she said when Harry asked her if she was feeling sleepy.

"Serve the dinner, will you? I just quickly need to wind my stuff up." She looked at Harry with pleading and slightly guilty eyes, kissing the corner of her mouth once he mumbled an 'of course.'

"Don't take too much time, though!" He yelled as she hurried up the stairs.

Karan climbed up in his chair on his own with a bit of struggle. He'd finally grown tall enough to be able to sit on the main dinner table, but still he needed a taller chair to sit on.

"Look at you going, already a big boy," Harry grinned at the little one, who was about to turn four this year. A breathy chuckle escaped his mouth when the boy's ears turned pink, he was born a shy persona but that never deterred him from speaking up when he wanted to.

Y/n watched from atop as Harry talked to Karan about the show they were just watching. It had shown some wild animals tonight, from what she could hear. She couldn't help but swoon a little bit on the inside as Karan climbed down the chair with a bit of grunting and helped Harry serve the table.

"Bring me a glass, please," Harry asked the kid just because he was eager to help. "Thank you," he appreciated him once the glass was on the table.

"Y/n –" Harry was about to call for her when he saw her watching him from the doorframe of their room. "C'mon, what are you waiting for?" He laughed, feeling a tad bit of shyness creep up on him when he realized that she'd been watching him.

They've known each other since childhood yet she still manages to turn his ears pink by just her gaze – it was yet another trait that Karan got from Harry.

"Could watch you be a baby daddy all day long. Just makes me feel so hot," she whispered in his ears, grinning when he slapped her bum sneakily.

"Did you tell daddy about the puzzle we solved today?" Y/n asked Karan and melted on the inside when his eyes lit up and he sat upright, suddenly excited and eager to tell Harry all about it.

And Karan's energized talking about the animals was how they spent their time eating dinner. Talking about Karan's puzzle, Harry's practice routine for the next day and Y/n's plans for visiting the set for a run-through were some add-ons in the talk here and there. Once they'd finished, Y/n took Karan up to his room to read him one of his nightly-stories, and lull him to sleep – it was Harry's turn to do the dishes tonight.

The toddler was extra tired today. He'd had football practice for a small upcoming match in his school, solved a lot of math problems and a whole puzzle in one day. So, it only took about four paragraphs of the story in the calming voice of his mother for him to pass out.

Y/n climbed down the stairs as silently as she could and pressed a feather-light kiss on Harry's neck, who didn't get scared in the slightest – probably because he heard her jam her toe in the leg of the dining table.

Harry hummed to acknowledge her presence, loading the last plate into the dishwasher. She stood back patiently, and once he was done, Harry turned around and leaned his bottom on the kitchen counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Then, y/n leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto his lips.

"Mm, someone's feeling needy," he smirked when she pulled back, pulling her in again by her waist when she nodded. "What do you need, love?" Harry asked her, pecking her lips again with a soft smile on his mouth.

"Need to taste you, daddy – been so long," she mumbled, slowly and slowly relaxing into his body.

He continued tracing the outline of her lips, "Is that so?" He asked again, and when she nodded he released her lower lip from under the weight of his thumb, watching it rise back to its place.

"Then we'll put that mouth of yours to a good use," he rasped, reaching for her mouth again as he slid one of his hands on the back of her head, pulling her hair back to give him space to litter her neck in kisses.

When her mouth met his skin, she left open-mouthed kisses on it and bit on a few spots before Harry started pushing her down on her knees. Once she was down, she pulled down his sweats on his command and watched as his cock stood up, already hard. She spit on her palm, lubricating his length as she stroked him.

"Hands behind your back," Harry told her, and started lowering her head on his length when she took him in his mouth. "Fuck," he breathed, watching her as he pushed her lower and lower on him slowly.

He cherished the feeling of her warm mouth on him, and when she reached his base, he let out a groan as the feeling of his tip touching the very back of her throat.

Y/n could taste his salty pre-cum that had started to leak from his slit. It would've been more convenient for her if she could've placed her hands on his thighs, but somehow, this position was only making her panties wetter.

When Harry asked her if she was ready to go, she quickly showed him a thumbs up before holding her wrist behind her back again.

Slowly and slowly, Harry started bringing her head back and forth by his grip on her hair. Her lips wrapped around him felt every vien as he brought her head up till his reddened tip. She managed to take a lick at his slit before he brought her down again, faster this time.

Now, her head was bobbing faster on his cock and with the way her saliva was starting to dribble down her chin, she could feel him pulsing in mouth as she hollowed out her cheeks when she hit the base.

She gagged a bit when Harry pushed in till the back of throat. And then, he quickened the pace.

He held her head in one place as she tried to swallow some of his arosual fucked into her mouth, the sounds of her gagging filling the kitchen. "Fuck- you're doing so well, darling," Harry moaned above her, creating a pace again – his eyes unable to move from the sight of strings of her saliva and his arousal moving with each bob of her head.

He fucked her mouth with a fast pace, his tips dragging along her tongue before hitting the back of her throat with each thrust. "Jesus- fuck," he choked, his hold on her head getting tighter as he began ruthlessly fucking into her mouth.

"Breath from your nose, baby," Harry told her, continuing to thrust his cock deep down her throat by now. She started gurgling on her own saliva and his precum, her arms starting to ache as tears leaked out of her eyes and she clenched around nothing, her pussy feeling like it were ready to be pounded.

"Oh lord," he grunted, slowing down his pace just when Y/n thought he was close to releasing down her throat, he brushed his hand through her hair.

Gradually, Harry pulled out of her mouth and just when she was beginning to think that something had gone wrong, Harry helped her get up on her legs.

She stumbled a bit, her legs a bit numb, and knees hurting because of the hard floor. She freed her arms then as well, holding onto his biceps as she balanced herself.

"Fuck you're such a wreck," Harry breathed, wiping away at her damp skin – not able to tell the difference between her tears and her sweat. "And because of me too," he chuckled, brushing her hair back as she caught up with her breath.

"C'mon, wanted to come down your throat, but I need something else more than that right now," Harry said as he picked her up bridal style in his arms, the veins in his biceps popping out.

"What is it?"

"Need to feel your pussy, darling."

When Harry dropped her on their bed, she immediately got up on her elbows, her knees touching but feet wide apart. "Fill me up, daddy? Want another baby," she whispered, looking at him through her lashes.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Harry groaned, climbing up on the bed while stroking himself. "Fucking hell – 'course I will," he told her as he sat back on his calves in front of her. "Gonna make me daddy of three, aren't you -- since you clear need one at all times, as well?" Harry teased her.

"Open your legs for me, wanna see ya." Y/n did as Harry told her and he swiped his middle finger through her folds, realizing that she was already soaking wet, ready to take him.

"Gonna give you all my babies, darling. Gonna fill you up to the brim and get you pregnant again," he rasped, lining himself against her hole, wetting his tip. "Fuckin' missed watching your belly swell up with a baby – my baby, " he said while watching himself disappear inside her pussy.

Beginning to thrust into her, Harry's hand came to knead one of her boobs. "Need to see you breastfeed a little one again – see those leaking nipples," he choked out, so turned on that he already felt close to climaxing.

"Gonna come for daddy, love?" Harry cooed at her, feeling her thighs begin to shake around his hips already. "Give it to y' husband."

Y/n lied there under him, shaking and moaning as the knot in her belly moved lower and lower. "Gonna cum- fuck –" she coughed, shaking harder as her skin felt like it was on fire when Harry started rubbing her clit.

"Come for Daddy, darling. Doing so good," Harry praised her, increasing his pace as he felt his own balls tighten. As he thumbed tighter and faster circles on her sensitive bundle of nerves, he felt her walls clenching around him.

"So good for me, so fuckin' good around me – fucking made for me," Harry grunted, feeling like he was going to combust.

"Co-coming daddy – O-Oh I'm cuming fuck-" Y/n stuttered, her back arching as Harry fucked into her pussy mercilessly. She could feel him pulsing inside her, and once he hit her g-spot again, she felt like she had been electricuted as she came on his cock.

Her cum went everywhere as Harry continued fucking into her, the bed creaking under his pace. "So good for daddy, look how much you came," he chuckled breathlessly, looking down where she had soaked him and the mattress, white strings of her cum sticking to his base.

Y/n intionally cleanched around him again, lying fucked out of her mind and breathless.

"Good girl- that's a good fucking girl," Harry cursed before he shot ropes of his cum deep in her pussy. Ramming into her pussy until she had milked him dry, he finally stopped when some of his cum started spilling out of her.

"Gonna fill you up again, make sure I put a baby in you," Harry told her as he wiped sweat off his forehead – grinning down at her when she hooked her arms under her knees, giving him full access to her pussy.

"Daddy's gonna give it to you good, sweet girl," Harry said gleefully, laughing when Y/n managed to swat at his chest.

[queenquinzel715]

3.1 Halforc Rothwell

Wrd count 2,469

Princess (Y/n) P.O.V.

When I turned fourteen I knew things were going to change in the worst possible way. I saw the royal doctors leaving my mother's chambers, and her ladies in waiting looking down so upset. I had just turned sixteen when I got woken by my mother's closest lady in waiting telling me to come quickly. I sat with my mother for an hour when she finally let go. My father stood by the door silently crying to himself. They did actually love each other.

That night my life became hectic. I took over Queen duties for the kingdom. Which is no problem, however my father's advisors are like the devil in his ear. My father is so poor minded that the lies they tell him he believes them. I do feel bad for my father. He was just a guard when he and my mother, the princess, fell for each other. He does care for our people, he just doesn't understand how to communicate with them, so he leaves it to William. William is the head guard that is supposed to help my people when they need it, but he's just a tyrant.

Like today, William and Henry, the main advisor, are telling my father that the creatures that are coming to do trade are tricking my father. They are telling him that these creatures are raiding savages. I've heard enough from these two.

"Alright that's enough. What are your sources for all this?" I stop them just as they walk to the maps to map out an attack on the incoming ships. "My sources tell me the reason for any attacks was that the Tearings Kingdom enslaved them." I look at my father's indecisive face.

"I have insiders in the Silentdew Kingdom, Sire." Henry boosts with a mocking smile.

"I don't remember a ship leaving for that long of a voyage, so when was this?"

I'm completely ignored.

"These creatures are here simply for land. I myself have sent letters with their King, so I will not have these stories to be spread. If no problems are caused then no problems will occur. They should be docking in just three days, and we must greet them accordingly." My father takes over. He turns to me. "(Y/n) I need you to be there for their reassurance that we give faith into our new arrangements." I give my father a reassuring smile.

"I was hoping to meet them at dinner." I try to sound proper, not too obvious.

"I know, I know. I just need them to know even with your own… legacy, we are here united for good reasons." I laugh at his pausing for the right words.

What he had difficulty with is my true title. Queen General (full name). At fourteen my mother insisted my father train me in some sort of defense. What she didn't expect was for me to get completely infatuated with fighting, and well I became General after my eighteenth birthday. No one argued the title placement, because they knew I actually worked for it. Sadly I had to give that title to William last year when I turned twenty. My father told me it was time for me to settle down, so he's been finding suitors for me. Most of them did seem good on paper, so I don't fault my father on that point. It's just when they open their mouths nothing intelligent comes out just pompous showboating, or their egos get destroyed from my legacy. At least my father doesn't fight me when I tell him I won't marry them.

Besides, my biggest problem is dealing with an overly cocky William. He's been following me around assuming I'm turning the suitors away for him, because we've known each other since childhood. Granted as a child he was better to tolerate. Over the years I've learned just the type of man he's become, and the amount of female servants I've helped from his whole group. My mother taught me very early that I can't stop men like that, so that's why the only females that work in my castle are my own close ladies. I have made an example of what happens when I catch you in certain acts which helped the women in the town as well. Sadly mother was right. That's why I pray to her that I'm right with these creatures that come here, they docked yesterday. Tomorrow I will actually meet their leader, and have dinner.

This morning I'm woken up by my ladies to get ready for the creature's arrival. They should be here by midday, and by then I should have my nerves somewhat controlled. Which doesn't seem fruitful when the laces of my dress are being pulled back to cut my breathing off. I wasn't used to these formal dresses, and hair styling anymore. I mostly stayed in work dresses, and kept my hair braided to the side. I look like my mother with my hair like this, and she'd love this.

I walked down the main steps as the gates opened for three mountainous horses carrying orcs. I come to a stop in the only open place next to my father. Of course it's next to William. I keep myself looking at the gorgeous horses, but I'm stuck on the short haired one with a scruff-like beard. His yellow eyes scan the crowd, they seem to shine with curiosity as he sees something new.

"I like your hair this way, Princess." William takes me away from the orc. "I wanted to surprise you, but Friday I'm telling your father about us." I feel his hand move along my arm. "I can't let you keep this charade of the suitors." The entire feeling from him makes me nervous, causing me to move away immediately.

I hear him chuckling as I step to my father as he steps closer with the orcs following. Once I take a deep breath I realize I didn't hold my composure when my face relaxes. My father introduces me to Lord Rothwell and his guards. I look up at him in amazement as I outstretch my hand.

"Welcome Sir Rothwell." I offer him my hand.

"I'm very happy to be here, My Lady." His smile brings his tusk to a better view as he brings my hand to meet his lips, letting me feel just how smooth his tusks are.

Throughout the day, we are in the meeting hall going over the maps showing them their lands, and discussing laws. I was surprised when we have similar laws, granted they had more for the different creatures, which they gave us their law books.

Once dinner is served, it's like we have all known each other for years with the laughter coming from the dining hall. I sit left of my father as Rothwell sits across from me. I could listen to him talk about his people all night. He talks with such passion, the way his eyes light up when he speaks of certain people, well creatures.

"I'm glad we are on the same page about this settlement." I'm father raises his cup to cheer.

"Yes, I like how we are using the river as a boundary. It is very clever. That way no one can say they don't know where they are going." He cheers with my father.

"That was (y/n)'s idea. I swear if you spend a day with her you'd be amazed with what she comes up with." Father laughs as he shakes my shoulder making my food fall off my spoon.

"I'd love to spend a day with you." Rothwell looks me in the eyes as he says this, his voice makes my ankles lock together on their own.

"Sir Rothwell, do you hope this is a permanent settlement or just for the resources?" I generally want to know for my own knowledge and my kingdom's.

"Completely permanent, Princess." He smirks once responded.

My father grabs Rothwell's attention for some battle stories, but William decides now will be best to slide into the seat next to mine. I roll my eyes at his drunken smile.

"Father?" I try to properly get his attention.

"I was thinking about sunset for our ceremony." William begins. "The windows in the church shine perfectly at that time." He reaches for my piece of hair, but I move back.

I look back to my father to see him still talking, but Rothwell is eyeing William with hard eyes. William leans closer to continue his wedding talk, trying to touch me, making me grip my eating knife. He goes to reach for me again, and I snap. I push him back with my knife pointed at his lower rib. He drops his cup, leaving the wine to puddle the floor, and raises his hands. I slightly lean forward with my eyes locked on his terror filled ones.

"I've tolerated you all day, with your wedding bullshit talk, and you trying to touch me." He goes to speak, but me pushing the knife slightly further makes him stop. "If you so much as think of coming near me in the next couple of days. I swear the moment my eyes land on you I will cut your ribs out right there. Am I understood?" I sternly finish with a last push of the knife.

"Yes, Princess. I'm terribly sorry I won't bother you again." He rushes out his apologies as he nods quickly.

I raise my knife to the side for him to shakily run to the doors of the dining hall. Everyone is still silent as I turn back to my food. As I bite into my food I look up to Rothwell slightly biting his lower lip. I can feel my neck up to my face get hot as I look back down to my plate. Everyone starts to mumble about me as they get back to dinner.

"Daughter, must you embarrass the poor boy." Father laughs as he fills my cup with wine.

"Yes I must. Animals like him don't listen to normal talk, so I must get straight to the point." I take a big gulp of my wine as I stand. "Well goodnight father, enjoy your night." I kiss my father on the forehead. "Please don't get him completely gone. I'd like him to be somewhat functional." I laugh with Rothwell as the others raise their cups to me.

I walk to my chambers with an orc on my mind, and how my mother would be shocked that this is who I'm thinking about. Once in my chambers I change into my night dress getting comfortable as the night bonfire is lit in town Square. I lean against the balcony door crossing my arms at William's nonsense. I'm brought out of my thoughts as a crowd forms, and William steps through along with Rothwell. I could finally see that Rothwell is three feet taller than William, and is much bigger as well. The small group that came with Rothwell cheers for Rothwell as the fight starts. I watch as Rothwell practically throws William like a child around the circle. William slides along the ground making me laugh, and Rothwell raises his arms as he roars in celebration with his men. One of the creature men point up toward me, making him look up at me. I give him a sarcastic clap, but inside I want to scream for him. His roar was much louder as his men crowd him like he won something. William steps back to him in a drunken like sway, maybe it's a painful sway. Rothwell swats the air telling him he's done, but William says something that's obviously antagonizing. Rothwell actually throws him this time, but I feel that still wasn't his full strength. I watch William use his horse to stand. Rothwell walks away with his group of men as my men get back to work on the weapons. William however takes his sword from the sheath he keeps on his horse, and runs toward Rothwell with the sword high in the air. I grab a book that I left on the balcony, and throw it at Rothwell. It hits one of his men, making him turn to me. I just point at William. I quickly run down the stairs as the yelling echoes off the walls. They grow louder as I get to the Town Square. I signal to the cannon gunners to shoot a cannon. My men stop, and stand to attention. The creatures slowly stand to their feet. I step calmly through the sea of men to the ones that are still gripping onto each other. I take the sword of one of the closest men.

"Enough!" I use the sword to push William back.

Once he sees it's me he falls to his knees.

"Meeting hall, NOW!" My voice booms off the walls.

As I follow the two men into the hall my father is standing there with an angry expression. As I walk around them I throw the sword into a table. I look at the marks William somehow got on Rothwell with worry, but when I look at how William looks I couldn't hold my smirk.

"I don't mind when you men fight for show or for your own amusement. However I will not tolerate you having war IN THE MIDDLE OF MY KINGDOM!" My father yells out like he never has before. "Not only did you want to spar with an orc, you tried to strike an unarmed man in the back." My father speaks in shame at William. "Lets not begin to discuss what happened at dinner with my daughter." He turns to me. "Why was he threatened anyway?"

"Well throughout the day he has tried grabbing me, telling me that I am to marry him, and how the suitors I've declined were for his benefit." I tell my father honestly.

While I explain to my father Rothwell snaps his head to William like he actually wants to kill him.

"Guards!" Father suddenly yells, making me jump in surprise. "Lock William in the tunnels until I can deal with him in the morning." William is pleading as he is being pulled out once he's gone father sits with a deep sigh. "I should've done that years ago." He looks up at me as he rests his head on his fingertips looking between me and Rothwell. "Hmm well. Should we start the courting process?" He asks Rothwell with a no tolerance voice.

"Yes." Is all Rothwell says with a last look at me before storming out.

"Courting process?" I question my father.

He just dismisses me to bed, and tells me to enjoy the gifts.

[taesanrot]

[twenty questions] sungho x f!reader | 2.3k words college au, coworkers 2 luvrs, e2l kinda, forced proximity lolz note. thank uuuu to lovely anon who requested this <3 i need to write for sungho more this was sm funnn. nini’s summer writing era starts NOW.

park sungho is an actual fucking dumbass. he decides this as he stares at the newly formed wet spot at the front of your sweater, wincing at the deathly glare you're shooting him.

"you're kidding." you grumble, watching your wide eyed coworker scramble to the bathroom in search of napkins, and perhaps a baseball bat to knock himself out cold with.

for the longest time, you'd been the sole employee at your university's bookstore. it was a small store your uncle owned, and with how many other bookstores that ran in your college town, you didn't have much work to do or much foot traffic to counter.

but with your uncle and aunt travelling to spain for the majority of your semester, they decided to take on a couple more employees in consideration of the fact that you were just one person and the fact that you were starting university.

one of these new employees was none other than park sungho. the first time you met the boy, he was already 10 minutes late to his training shift. you let it go pretty easily though, seeing the panic on his face and the way he explained how he got lost on the way in between heavy breaths.

you found his nervous demeanor pretty cute at first, not to mention his raven hair that draped over his ears and framed his face prettily. sungho, on the other hand, was floored by you.

so floored in fact, that he'd found himself with a pretty bad habit of dropping whatever he was holding or tripping on air when he saw you.

you two had gotten into the routine of always nitpicking each other's mistakes, picking apart any little thing each other messed up. sometimes that was a mislabeled box, a mistake in the cash transactions, or stumbling on the stepladder while shelving new arrivals.

it was like you two were keeping a mental scoreboard of who was the clumsier employee, and most of the time you came out victorious, including today

the day had been nothing but ordinary, both you and sungho a bit bitter to have to be working on a saturday afternoon.

you walked up to the bookstore entrance to see sungho already leaning against the wall next to the door, scrolling on his phone before looking up and noticing you. upon your arrival, he sighed, causing you to turn and look at him as you typed in the security code into the entrance's keypad.

"look who’s finally here." he droned, glaring at your pretty fingers gliding across the buttons.

"oh, shut the fuck up." your eyes nearly rolled into the back of your head as you yanked the door open, nearly whacking sungho with it.

the shift dragged on as usual, boring and uneventful. you'd like to think you mentally jinxed it when you were smiling to yourself at how well the day was going. because less than a second later, sungho's chest was in your face and his cup of water from the break room was spilling onto you.

you didn't get the chance to hear what he had to say, groaning and tugging off your sweater and stomping into the break room.

after the whole water cup incident, sungho had definitely taken the brunt of the tormenting today. checking the time, he sighed and stretched out his arms. the final few shoppers were filing out and he followed behind them to lock the door after, tapping on the keypad and listening for the familiar beep and click.

cracking his knuckles, he walked behind the counter to begin closing the registers while you, now in just a tshirt, cleaned up around the store.

it was still light and balmy outside, the last rays of the sun resonating through the clear sky and casting a pinkish purple glow into the store, as you slowly found yourself squinting to read the section labels and book titles, you called out to sungho.

"sungho, it's dark, turn on the lights."

"yeah, yeah, whatever" sungho rolled his eyes even though you couldn't see him, leaving the front desk to find the light switch. you scoffed at his sarcasm, using the flashlight of your phone to illuminate your workspace.

"uhhh, y/n?" you looked toward the direction of your coworker's voice in confusion, wondering why the lights hadn't turned on yet. groaning, you hoisted yourself up to go find him, figuring that he simply couldn't operate a light switch.

"i swear to god if you're seriously getting bamboozled by a light switch--" your voice faded off as you found sungho and the switches, realizing all of them were flipped on.

"what the fuck is going on?" you asked, pushing the boy out of the way to properly look at the switchboard.

"i wish i fucking knew, y/n" he retorted sourly, clicking his phone open to check his texts. as you turned around to glare at him, you noticed his eyes widening at one of his notifications.

"what happened?" you inquired nervously, not particularly comforted by sungho's dreary expression.

"there's a fucking power outage." you groaned loudly in response, before your face blanched white.

"the back door." you stated monotonously, causing sungho to tilt his head in confusion.

"what about it?" he mumbled.

"whenever the power goes out, the emergency alarm system engages and it automatically locks all of the doors."

"does that mean-" sungho's question was interrupted as you bolted over to the back hallway. the boy stood in confusion, listening to the sound of your yanking the doorknob and kicking the back door.

"it's locked!" you yelled down the hall. sighing as you retired yourself to the break room. sungho joined you soon enough, not quite sure what else to do with himself.

"the generator will probably start up in a bit, we can just wait until then." you sighed out and sat down in defeat, laying your head down on the break room table.

maybe if i close my eyes and fall asleep this will go by quicker.

sleep was immediately out of the question, though, as the lack of heating sent a chill up your arms and legs. you really should've brought an extra sweater.

sungho watched your figure from the break room couch, looking back down at his phone to check the time. he sighed, shrugging off his jacket and moving over to you.

"here." you looked up to see the broad shouldered boy's jacket in front of you, hanging off of his outstretched hand.

"sungho, i'm fine."

"no, y/n you're shivering. plus it's my fault you're cold anyways. and come sit on the couch, it's warmer than sitting by the window." you met his eyes hesitantly as you grabbed the hoodie from his hands. slipping your arms into it, you sighed in relief as the boy's warmth encased you.

"thanks." you smiled and stood up to move and sit on the couch. sungho followed you quietly.

sitting on separate ends of the couch, an uncomfortable silence fell between the two of you. you didn't particularly want to kill the time scrolling through your phone, afraid it was going to die. looking over at sungho's side profile, you thought about how you've never really talked to him other than your stupid banter.

as if he'd read your mind, the boy turned to you.

"wanna play 20 questions?" you giggled at his silly inquiry.

"what?"

"don't you want to get to know your fabulous coworker better?" he smiled and held his chin in his hands dramatically, making you laugh again.

"sure."

over the past 15 minutes, you learned that you and park sungho liked the same music, had the same favorite show, and had fairly similar majors.

"how have i never had a class with you?" you breathed out in between giggles.

"actually, we have bio together." sungho spoke nervously, wondering what you were going to say next.

"no fucking way. you're lying." you stared at him blankly, reeling from shock. how had you never noticed him? why didn't he say anything? for a reason you couldn't decipher, it made you sad to think he might've avoided you in class.

"i'm serious! i'll show you my schedule." sungho exclaimed as he fished his phone out of his pocket. you moved over on the couch to sit next to him and peer over at his phone screen.

"why didn't you say anything?" sungho's cheeks flushed red, not that you could see it in the dark anyways, the whole room lit up dimly by the evening light.

"i don't know. i was nervous i guess." he spoke quickly, stuffing his phone back in his pocket and fiddling with his thumbs.

the idea of you making sungho nervous made your head spin. was it because you guys always bickered at work? you fought to not delude yourself into assuming it was for any other reason.

you slowly looked down at sungho's thigh that was mere inches away pressing against yours.

hm.

seeing how close he was to you, almost hearing his breathing, you don't know what came over you.

you scooted closer to him, fully letting your thigh rest against his and your shoulder kiss his bicep. sungho sucked in a breath.

this was normal, definitely. you two were just conserving body heat.

"y/n ..." sungho spoke quietly, his voice breaking the thick silence. you turned to meet his eyes just to see him avoiding your gaze.

"what?" you pouted teasingly, fighting not giggle at the way sungho was acting. you brought a hand to his lower thigh, fingers splaying across the thin fabric of his pants. sungho bit his lips and screwed his eyes shut, trying to think about anything other than you touching him.

your lungs and stomach burned as you decided to test the waters further, moving to slide your hand higher up. before you could move your fingers any further, a hand wrapped around your wrist.

"don't..." sungho's eyes bored into you in a way that made your cheeks flush. "don't play with me right now."

the boy's lips were parted slightly, expression almost pained as he breathed shallowly. your lips curled upwards. there was no going back anymore.

"i'm not playing." you whispered. that was all the boy needed to hear; before you could even blink his lips were on yours, hand moving from your wrist to slide behind your neck.

you gasped at the feeling of his plump lips against yours, hands grasping for his chest and clutching his shirt. you shifted to sit on his lap, sighing into sungho's mouth as you felt his other arm wrap around your waist. you swiped your tongue across the boy's lips. they parted immediately, beckoning for you to explore him further.

you moaned softly after feeling his fingers slide into your hair and push your face even closer to him. he tilted his face so he could meet your tongue with his, groaning into your mouth.

shaking your arm slightly, you silently asked him to help you out of your jacket. the boy took the hint immediately, pushing his hoodie down your arms and letting it fall onto the floor behind you.

running his hands up your arms, he broke away from your lips to catch his breath. you watched as the boy under you tilted his head back and sank further back into the couch. he pulled you onto him, letting his wet lips land on the soft skin of your neck.

you melted in his grasp, moaning and bringing a hand up to pull your hair out of the way. reaching his tongue out to taste your skin, sungho's hands pressed into your shoulder blades, holding you close to him. your eyes fluttered shut as you tilted your head back, sighing softly.

sungho ran his hands up and down your sides, groaning into your neck in a way that made you shake. you brought your hands to push at his shoulders lightly. breaking away from your neck with a lewd pop, the boy looked up to meet your half-lidded gaze.

you cupped his jaw with your hands and pulled him to smash his lips against yours. you moved your arms to wrap around his neck as he slid his hands up your shirt, dragging them down your back and sides. you whimpered as his hands ghosted over your boobs.

"can i?" sungho whispered against your lips, hot breath fanning onto your chin. you nodded hurriedly, aching to feel his hands on your skin.

in all honesty, sungho was ready to take you right then and there if you'd let him. luck was not in your favor, though, as the two of you were unceremoniously interrupted a loud whir and blinding light.

pulling away from the dark haired boy, you giggled.

"power's back on." you smiled as you watched the boy underneath you groan out curses. you didn't miss the feeling of something poke your thigh as you got off of his lap, laughing even louder.

...

sungho walked you to your apartment, mumbling that it was too dark for you to go alone.

before you had the chance to walk towards the entrance of your complex, you felt a hand grab your wrist, just like in the break room.

turning and smiling, you took in your coworker's nervous demeanor.

"y/n, i know we kinda got off on the wrong foot, but do you wanna ..." his voice trailed off.

"wanna what?" you played dumb, finding enjoyment in his nervous laughter and pink cheeks.

"hang out? just the two of us?" you smiled and stepped towards the boy, softly placing a hand on his shoulder and leaving a chaste kiss on his cheek. you smiled giddily at sungho as you nodded.

sungho's smile was even bigger as he pulled you in for a hug.

"are you gonna spill coffee on me this time?"

"shut up."

[wonijinjin]

seventeen’s vocal unit singing their s/o to sleep

author’s note: this is such a cute thought i love when people sing others to sleep.

synopsis: what the title says.

word count: 0.9k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairings: seventeen vocal unit x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of food

the moment jeonghan saw your eyes drooping while on your way back to your home he thought he would melt. he was driving with you on the passenger seat and it was nearing midnight, so it was no surprise that you weren’t able to resist the calling of dreamland. “are you gonna fall asleep on me? you promised you would keep me company.” he joked while looking over at you at the red light. “i know, but i am sleepy.” you replied trying to surpass a yawn. “i will play some music that will hype you up.” he reached out to turn on the radio, but you stopped him with a whine. “sing for me, please?” you pleaded. he naturally couldn’t resist his baby angel’s soft gaze, so he started humming the melody of to you. “that sounds nice.” you smiled sheepisly with closed eyes, already half asleep. “quiet. just sleep.” jeonghan ordered then continued while you fell asleep.

you watched as joshua entered through the door after his shower, hair messy and face tired. “it is so great to finally be able to relax after this long day.” he whispered into your hair after he got under the covers of your shared bed. “thank you for waiting for me.” he cupped your cheeks, giving them a soft kiss each, his golden eyes boring into yours under the moonlight. “i am so glad you are back darling. i missed you.” you said while settling into his arms further, getting sleepier by the minute. “so did i.” he replied in a warm tone. soon after the silence a heavenly sound hit your ears; his voice singing run to you. “i love your voice so much, shua.” you adored how gentle his voice was, just like he himself. he stopped for a moment to let out a giggle, then continued; you could hear the happiness in his tone, how content he was with the situation, enjoying how he could witness your last moments before sleep took over your form. “sweet dreams darling, good night.”

“how can you keep composing songs for days without really sleeping?” you asked jihoon while chilling on his couch in the studio. “when you are in love with music it is easier than you’d think.” he laughed quietly. “and i am in love with not just your music, but you aswell.” you kissed his cheek. “thank you babe.” he smiled like a maniac, but what could he do, you made his heart jump for you every single minute. “you should rest a bit though. it is geting late and i know you are not used to staying up.” he suddenly said. he was always the type to take care of you, you were his world, his muse inspiring him every day to keep going. shortly, he loved you so much. “you are right as always, sir.” you playfully answered, making yourself comfortable on the couch, looking at him sitting at his desk and doing something on the computer. “it would be so great if you sang me to sleep baby.” you muttered, face squished into the pillow. he didn’t answer but instead gently sang as you wanted, the lyrics of _world making your heart flutter, soon taking you deeper into dreamland.

it was a late afternoon, on the weekend. you were in bed with dokyeom, him scrolling through his phone and you relaxing silently with eyes closed, trying to take in the rare moment of peace at this hour, letting the light of the descending sun tickle your skin. “look sunshine, isn’t this cat so adorable?” dk suddenly asked, tapping your shoulder to get your attention. “yeah, it is baby.” upon seeing his excited face you sighed; this was everything you’ve ever dreamed of, your happy place. “are you planning on taking a nap?” he mumbled, in the meantime muffling an escaping yawn. “i could, but only if you join me.” you replied. “want me to sing april shower to you? i know you love it so much and it goes so well with the vibe right now.” you kissed his lips tenderly, voice barely above a whisper. “i would not pass this opportunity on for anything else my love.” not even ten minutes later he found you snoozing next to him, making his heart flutter yet again.

“drop the beat!” you watched as seungkwan grabbed the microphone and started dancing and singing; you were in a karaoke booth, after spending the night out doing shopping and having dinner. while walking down the street he spotted the sign inviting you to sing a bit, and him being himself of course he had to drag you into the tiny room to enjoy yourselves for a bit longer before taking a turn to go home and sleep. you were quite drained, having had delicious food before; the sleepiness had definitely set in, you kind of felt like a big baby for it, but you didn’t want to ruin his fun so you opted for watching him quietly from the couch. “come on babyboo! sing with me!” he pleaded and you joined him, bobbing your head to the rhythm. “you are getting sleepy, aren’t you? you are such a big baby.” he giggled while gently patting your hair, turning the volume down a bit. “want me to sing you to sleep? you can nap a bit here, we still have time left.” he asked, and your ears perked up at his question. “yes please.” he got to the keyboard, waiting for you expectantly. “so which song is it this time?” you thought for a moment, then typed it in for him. “ah i see, yawn it is then. coming right up!” as the music started you could barely hear his angelic voice anymore, sleep overtaking you. “have a good nap baby.”

[mingirn]

only lovers alive

song mingi x reader

synopsis: you return back home after graduating college to a new relationship you have to navigate with your childhood best friend

warnings: smut, a lot of mentions of sexual acts, drinking, insecurities, jealousy, dirty talk, phone sex, sort of (very brief) exhibitionism, gender neutral reader

word count: 20,3k

notes: hello. i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for 1-2 years and saw a tweet that said ”i’d pick you up from the airport in every universe” and decided to let this out of jail bc of that. although the fic itself is inspired by this song. fic title comes from this song. i’m gonna schedule this to post while i’m asleep because i’m terrified to post after not being on here for such a long time. please be gentle with me >:(

It’s dark outside your window, but the streets are lit up by countless glimmering lights. Even though the day is turning into night, there’s still plenty of traffic. Beaming headlights join the streams of light from street lamps, and it’s just your apartment that is missing a glow from a lamp on its windowsill. You’ve got all yours packed up and sent away already, and you’re taking in the city for the last time.

”Are you going to miss it?” Mingis's voice is soft on the other end of the phone. You’ve got him on speaker, lying right next to you.

”I guess, yeah. It’s been nice, even though I haven’t spent much time exploring or enjoying the city.”

It’s true. You’ve just finished your last semester and finally graduated after moving hours away from your hometown to go to your dream school. It feels like eons since then, when you had to say tearful goodbyes to your friends and family and settle down in a cramped little dorm room. You’d been lucky enough to get student housing in your last year, a bigger place where you’d been living for the past two semesters. This city wasn’t just a stark difference to your hometown, it was the definition of complete and total opposite.

The town you grew up in was the type to hide, not really forgotten, just barely there. Small and tucked away between long stretches of forests and fields. You’d be blessed to live there your whole life, yet lucky to get away. You’d go home to visit during summer break and just bask in how simple life was back home, but beyond all, how it was still home to all the things you held most dear. Top of that list: Mingi.

”You’ll always be able to go back, maybe we can go during the summer and you can take me to that Chinese place you’ve talked so much about,” Mingi says. He’s starting to sound a little sleepy, and it’s a reminder that you should probably get to sleep soon. You’ve got an early flight to catch, then it’s just a span of a few hours separating you and Mingi. He’ll be coming to pick you up, so you suppose you better let him go too so he can get some sleep.

”You know I’d love that,” you smile, and slump down on your bed. ”I think we should head to bed though, maybe we should leave this future talk for some other time.”

He hums in agreement, and the line goes quiet for a minute. You can hear his breathing through the speaker, slow and steady. When you close your eyes it’s almost like he’s here.

”Hey, uh,” he begins, and he swallows audibly. ”Do you think it’s gonna be weird?”

Ah, there it is. You’ve almost been waiting, expecting, him to ask it.

”No, I don’t… It’s not like we haven’t seen each other since I moved away. We’ve spent almost all of the last three summers together, right?” you reason. It’s not really what Mingi is referring to, but you have to start somewhere. Soften him up, reassure him.

”Well yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just different because we weren’t doing those things then, and now it’s… well, different.”

”Mingi,” you say with firmness in your voice. ”It would only be different if you said and did all those things just because it was over the phone. If you didn’t mean any of it.”

Mingi takes another moment of silence, and you can imagine that he’s probably chewing nervously on his bottom lip. It makes you a bit nervous as well, the fact that you can’t see him. You’d always been so good at reading his face and figuring out what he was thinking. You need that more than ever now, the ability to read him, because so much has changed.

”I’ve meant every word I’ve ever said,” he says, and something about the words feels so heavy and serious, and he seems to realize it too. ”I really, really want to fuck you, not just over the phone.”

Mingis voice is normal when he says it, not a hint of underlying desire or desperation, but the words themselves send a flash of warmth through your body. It’s become regular at this point, this shift in your friendship. The first time you guys crossed over that invisible line had been under the influence of alcohol, you had come home drunk from the bar after celebrating good test results with some friends and Mingi had been celebrating getting a new job with your mutual friends back at home. It just sort of happened, you dialing his number and gushing about how much you missed him. The conversation went on for half an hour when you started trying to undress from your bar clothes and Mingi had asked what you were doing. He’d asked about what you were wearing, and what color your underwear was, then he informed you that he was just in his boxers, and for some reason you found yourself telling him about how sexually frustrated you had been lately in hopes that he’d offer help. And he did.

That first night it was quick and needy, neither of you initiated it, it just happened in perfect symbiosis. You checked the call log the day after and saw that you guys had been on the phone for hours, the last of which you had both eventually fallen asleep on call until your phone battery died. Tentatively, you had called him during the afternoon and asked him if he had any recollection of yesterday night's events. His voice had been raspy and breathy, throat raw from drinking and moaning, and you can still remember every inflection in the tone of his voice when he asked if you had liked it. That had been the start of it all, of an almost full year of phone sex, sexting, and swapping pictures.

”I’m glad to hear that,” you say, trying to sound just as casual even though you can feel butterflies swirl through your stomach. ”I really can’t wait, Mingi. Can’t wait to fuck you and can’t wait to see you, I’ve missed you so much.”

”I’ve missed you too… Get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow at the airport, just look for a handsome tall guy!”

You fall asleep with Mingis laugh ringing in your ears.

The next day, your plane lands at a far emptier airport than the one you’d set off from. It’s early in the day and the sun is high in the sky, occasionally passing behind weak and thin clouds. The air is so different out here than in the big city. The sounds are clearer, the people are kinder, and everything feels so much more simple here.

You sit on a hard airport bench and wait as your phone connects to the internet after having been turned off, seeing all your missed messages coming in. You’re just about to type up a response to Mingis ’You there?’ when a call from him pops up on the screen.

”Yeah, I’m here!” you chirp into the phone.

”’Here’ where? I’m just walking around and-”

”Mingi, you idiot, turn around!” you call out loud enough for him to hear it on the phone and in person, though he’s quite a distance away from you. You could recognize the back of his head anywhere, even though it’s short and bleached blond right now, it’s undeniably Mingi.

He spins around and spots you right away, making eye contact with you across the big, open space. Seeing Mingi in person for the first time in months washes away all nervosity, all the same as it stirs up a new sense of anticipation. You jump to your feet and you're both rushing towards each other, crashing together in a tight hug.

You find yourself closing your eyes, tucking your head into his chest, and inhaling his scent until it makes you lightheaded. He smells just like your Mingi, that same cologne he’s worn since he was 15, the same laundry detergent, and he smells faintly of sunscreen. It’s not the first time you’ve hugged him, not by a long shot, but it feels like the first time you’ve held him like this. Your arms around his middle, taking note of how big he feels in your hold, and you’re thinking about every little detail you’ve missed out on by being away from him. His warmth, his touch, his size, his voice.

”Hi there,” he murmurs, and his voice is so different up close. It’s deeper and darker, it reverberates through his chest. ”Was the flight okay?”

Something about the conversation he’s initiating makes you feel like now is the appropriate time to pull away, and that in turn has you questioning how appropriate that hug had been on your part. Mingi, however, feels cool as ice when he grabs hold of your bag and slings his arm around your shoulder to guide you out of the airport.

”Uh,” you begin, feeling a bit stumped. You continue, ”It was as good as you can expect, but the food sucked, I can’t wait to get home and eat my mom's cooking.”

”Tired of ramen and takeout?” he asks, chuckling.

”You could say that.”

You try to move on past your own weirdness. Mingi is normal and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be as well. Still, there’s a sort of buzz igniting under your skin from being in Mingi's presence again. You suppose it’s always like that, this initial excitement of seeing each other again and getting to update each other on all the things you’ve been up to while knowing you’ve got all the time in the world to hang out. But there’s this nagging voice at the back of your head that is frantically going through all the conversations you’ve had with Mingi on the phone. Late at night, underneath your covers, with Mingi moaning and speaking filth on the speaker. It doesn’t match up with the Mingi in front of you, the Mingi that has been your closest friend for years, and it makes you feel electric.

Mingi pops his trunk open and you load your bags into his car, then get inside and start the half-hour drive back to your hometown.

You only dare to steal little glances over at him. Watching him in the rearview mirror, seeing the sun set his brown eyes ablaze and paint his skin golden. His fingers strum along to the song on the radio on the steering wheel, he’s wearing a single ring on his right hand and his skin is already tanned even though summer has just begun. It’s almost like you’re meeting him all over again with the way you’re soaking in every inch of him, yet it’s forcefully clear to you that none of this is new. Perhaps that would have made it easier if he had just been a stranger where the slate was clean, but this is Mingi and there are things you’re both gonna need to navigate.

You’d foolishly expected that he’d lean in and steal at least a kiss but perhaps more right away, when you were still parked at the airport. More accurately, you had hoped so. It’s all you guys had been talking about for the past months, all the ways you’d want to ravage each other when you finally were face to face again. Apparently, Mingi thinks that can wait.

So you turn your head away, try not to look over at him or imagine his hand holding your thigh instead of the steering wheel. Instead, you focus your attention on the trees outside, and Talking Heads on the radio.

”Do you still like this song?” Mingi asks you. He takes a turn, and this is where the road gets lonesome and there’s more nature than buildings. The song playing is ’This Must be the Place’, and you know Mingi is asking because you’d been the one that bought him this CD for his birthday.

”I could never outgrow Talking Heads, you know that,” you smile at him. You’re starting to settle in now. The fields and the trees are so familiar, the air smells like your childhood, and Mingi is humming along to music you’ve listened to for years. You can do this, it’s not going to be weird, it’s still your best friend Mingi.

The ride back home starts to fill up with idle chatter. You’d think that you’d have run out of topics to talk about by now, seeing as you’d talk on the phone almost every day, but you still find new things to bring up. He parks his car in the driveway outside your house and helps you carry your luggage, all while giggling and joking with you.

It’s only been a year since you’ve been home, you hadn’t been able to come during Christmas, but that’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent away from this very house. Not much has changed, your parents have kept your room exactly like you had left it, but something just feels different. It feels smaller, or you feel bigger. You catch a glimpse of Mingi in your doorway as you start unpacking your bags and for a second your abdomen flutters when you notice just how much of the door opening he can shield with his body. He has filled out a lot, and this shouldn’t be a surprise because you’d noticed it plenty of times before when you came home to visit. You suppose it’s not a surprise, but it’s the first time you’ve felt appreciation for it.

Of course, you had fantasized about his body since you entered his whole thing, and he had sent a lot of pictures that had helped you out with that, but seeing it in person is an entirely new ordeal. You feel your face heat up as your mind flicks through memories of pictures he’s sent you of himself naked, knowing what he looks like underneath his clothes. You have to wonder if Mingis mind is running in the same circles, if he’s as hyperaware of your skin as you are of his, and how he’s able to contain himself as well as he does if that’s the case. You hardly can’t.

”So,” Mingi begins. Your stomach lurches and plunges every time he pauses between words, fearing what may come next. Maybe this is when he breaks your heart and tells you he can’t do what you’ve been speaking about, that it’s just not the same when you’re face to face. You try to seem unbothered by your racing thoughts and decide to hear him out first. He continues, ”Uh, what now? Do you need any more help?”

”No, I’m all good, Mingi,” You’re rifling through clothes and belongings, lining them up on your bed. You can physically feel him behind you in your room as if he’s radiating this electricity and warmth that has your skin tingling.

”Maybe I should get going then. You know, to let you settle in.” You can hear him shift his weight between his feet. It suddenly feels unbearably awkward and strained between you two, and you know that if you keep your back to him it will only get worse. You need to face this head-on, cut through the tension, or at least pretend like the heavy atmosphere isn’t weighing you down.

You don’t want to let Mingi leave like this, without either one of you addressing things. If he leaves like this, with things unspoken and forgotten, the next time you see him it will be like nothing has ever happened. He’ll be right next to you but somehow further away than ever.

You guess you shouldn’t have expected to jump each other's bones the second you saw each other. Maybe that was unrealistic, but it had just felt that way on the phone. You suppose this is more natural, maybe you just have to stick it out until you’re used to being in the same room.

This Mingi in front of you is an entire world different than the one you’d grown up with. Despite the fact that everything is the same, that he’s in your childhood room and the sun is shining through the window just the same. The beam of light illuminates him directly, making his tan skin radiate.

You’re admiring him when he steps forward and closes the distance between you. Only the birds are singing outside your window, but in the total silence of your room, you can hear Mingi suck in a shaky breath before he leans forward and kisses you.

Time stills, the earth feels like it’s tilting or tipping, as if the very makeup of the universe is now irreversibly changed. Mingis mouth is warm and gentle but he’s keeping a pressure that has your mind whirling, just the way he’s kissing you with so much intent. You’re both breathing heavily and the air escaping his nose is so sweet that you can’t stop yourself from inhaling as much as possible, dizzying yourself to consume every bit of him that you can.

He’s already close, but he shuffles even nearer without breaking apart from the kiss. You can now feel his body against yours and Mingi moves his hands up to hold each side of your head, keeping you in place as he kisses and licks into your mouth. For some reason you’re so very present inside your head, thinking about each little detail of the way he kisses, reminding yourself to remember this moment forever.

You can feel when he starts to pull away so you chase after him, deepening the kiss for another second before he parts from it entirely. He’s just as breathless as you are, and there’s something in Mingi's eyes that you’ve never seen before. He focuses on your lips and leans in for another kiss that ends a moment too quickly.

Mingis hand ruffles your hair up, and his voice is laced with a laugh when he says a drawn-out ’bye’ and leaves your room.

You can feel your heartbeat in your throat, can hear the blood pumping and wooshing from it all the way through your body, throughout each delicate vein in your ears. Your lips are tingling when you reach up to touch them, almost in disbelief at the fact that Mingi had just been kissing you right there. Your mouth is slick with his spit, and your finger moves cardinally to gather it up and plunge into your mouth so you can savor it.

You fall down on the bed, staring up at your ceiling, and close your eyes to relive the kiss as you imagine what it will be like the next time you see Mingi.

Almost a full week passes until you see him again. Your family practically swarms you for the first few days, your parents being overjoyed to have you back invite your grandparents to welcome you home and your favorite aunt comes to see you with your two young cousins. You get unpacked quickly enough, when you manage to find time between family visits and long drawn-out meals, and before you know it five days have passed. Mingi stays busy too though, he sends a few occasional texts about work and though he lives right across from you, you never even catch a glimpse of him.

Sometimes you lay in your bed at night and feel your heart race up at the thought that there is only a few yards of grass and asphalt road between the two of you. It’s a massive change from the last three years when you had been miles and miles apart. Now, it feels almost like you can sense him. Just across the street, breathing and shuffling in bed. You can picture him so well, long eyelashes resting against his cheekbone, his skin flushed from sleep, his long limbs tangled up in a thin blanket. Your hand slips inside your underwear with a hot fire fueled by embarrassment and insecurity burning in your stomach.

Your imagination moves between recollections of words he’s spoken and pictures he’s sent, to the image of him in his bed right now. He’s so very close, but so very unaware of how much that precise fact affects you. Each day away from him only tightens the strings in your body and you grow more frustrated that you haven’t actualized any of the promises you’d made on the phone. At the same time, you find yourself quietly thankful for the imposed distance. Mingi isn’t even here, but he still has such an impact on you that it has you rushedly getting yourself off with your face buried in your pillow to keep quiet.

You’re so deeply affected by all this, while Mingi is fine. You’re the one busy, but when Mingi comes home from work and has some downtime he doesn’t even text to see if you can spend time. Seemingly, he doesn’t care to find out when you can see each other again.

On day six you’re sitting in your garden with your mom and aunt. Your cousins are playing in the grass in front of you and calling for your attention. The sun is high and hot in the sky, and Mingis car has been home for a few hours. You’ve checked your phone multiple times to make sure it’s not on silent, or if you’ve somehow missed a text from him, but it’s been quiet all day.

Then, a car pulls up to Mingi's house. You recognize it in an instant, it’s Yunhos old Camaro that he had inherited from his dad when he got his license, the same car he’d posted a thousand pictures of on social media. He had even let you drive it for an entire block two summers ago. The paint job has sparkles of blue in it that glimmer in the sun, and you somehow feel like it’s taunting you. The front door of Mingis house opens and he emerges in a pair of short shorts and a t-shirt that he has cut the sleeves off of, and he’s got a pair of sunglasses sitting on his face. A feeling worse than rejection rushes through you when Yunho rolls down the window and waves to you, finally prompting Mingi to also notice you sitting there.

Mingi raises his hand to wave but the movement is cut shorter than Yunho's enthusiastic full-bodied gesture. Mingi gets in the car and the engine roars as Yunho drives away. The warm air feels bittersweet when it’s filled by the smell of exhaust fumes.

That night you’re lying in bed and you’re inching close to sleep when your room lights up for a second. In the haze of sleep, you assume it to be the headlights of a car, but it happens again until the stream of light persists entirely and you finally get up to look outside your window. It’s clear instantly where it’s coming from because Mingi is hanging halfway out his window with a flashlight in his hand.

Though he’s quite a distance away, you can see him well enough to tell that he’s shirtless and his hair is messy, but your focus is pulled from that to trying to decode what gesture he’s making with his hand. You shrug, and he disappears from his window for a few seconds before he pops back with his phone and starts pointing to it.

You search for your phone and open it to find 4 missed calls from Mingi. His contact picture pops up on your phone and you hurry to answer.

”What the fuck, Mingi?” you whisper into your phone.

”Were you sleeping?” he chuckles, and you can see his shoulders shake with laughter. Every little bit of this makes you want to hang up, or scream, or march right over to his house and have a go at him. How dare he go days without speaking to you, then call you up in the middle of the night and laugh as if you haven’t been in agony this past week? How dare he kiss you breathless in this very room and make no attempts at reliving it?

”No, I was just about to fall asleep!” you huff.

”Why are you whispering?” Mingi asks.

”Because my parents are asleep, dumbass.”

”Hm,” he ponders. ”So that would be a no if I asked you to sneak out and come over?”

You hope he doesn’t hear your breath hitch at the thought that he wants you to come over in the middle of the night.

”Of course, it’s a no! My mom is already peeved because of Yunho coming by earlier today. She hates how loud that car is. She’s gonna think you’re a bad influence, riding around in that and making me sneak out.”

”Imagine her reaction when she finds out you drove that car before you got your license, and I wasn’t even there. It was all Yunho,” Mingi jokes.

”Shut up! God, my mom has been warning me about him for years. She used to be convinced I was going to end up with him and it was her biggest nightmare,” you say. Your window is cracked to let in some air now that it’s cooler outside. The night is quiet, and all you can hear is Mingi breathing at the other end of the call. It’s quiet for a moment, and you can see that Mingis face is scrunched up.

”You and Yunho?” he scoffs. ”Why would she think that?”

”I don’t know, it’s not like she had any reason to. She’s just weird like that, you know how my mom is.”

It’s silent yet again, Mingi just sighing.

Your stomach does a somersault when a thought strikes you and you have to ask, ”You’re not jealous, are you?”

”Jealous? Of- of Yunho?” Mingi laughs breathlessly. You just hum, and you can’t take your eyes off of him where he’s sitting in his window. Mingi sucks in a deep breath and regains his voice, ”I have no reason to be jealous of him when I’m the one with your nudes in my phone.”

Something about that makes you curl up on yourself, suddenly feeling very shy that you’re only in your underwear and a thin old tank top. It brings up another thought that has plagued you. The pictures you’d sent were all meticulously posed and manipulated to be as appealing as possible. It had been your body, yes, but the most perfect version of it possible. Here, in your pajamas with your skin glistening from sweat, hunched over yourself, you hardly think Mingi can find any resemblance between the picture-perfect version and the one in front of his eyes.

”Oh yeah?” you murmur. You can’t let him see you falter, can’t let him call your bluff. You straighten your back and pretend to be more interested in something under your nails. ”You could have a lot more than just pictures, you know.”

Mingi lets out a noise that’s somewhere between a moan and a breath, just audible enough for his phone to pick it up.

”Fuck, look at me,” he says, and you do. You just do.

Mingi stands up, keeping his phone pressed to his ear with one hand while his free hand moves in a long, slow caressing motion down his upper body. It’s your turn to feel jealous now, stupidly jealous of Mingis own hands for getting to touch him. His fingers reach the waistband of his boxers and you nervously stop breathing as you imagine them dipping inside. His hand moves just a bit further down though, where Mingi wraps his entire palm around his dick.

”Can you see that?” he asks. He uses his hand to move his hard cock under the light material of his underwear, making sure to jut his hips out towards the moonlight so you can see every second of his show.

”I can see you, oh my god. Are you out of your mind? Mingi, what if-”

”No one’s around, no one’s gonna see except for you,” he assures you. You lick your lips, thinking back to what Mingis mouth had tasted like.

”You’re crazy,” you whisper to him.

”You make me crazy,” he says with a smirk. ”Would you lift your shirt up for me?”

Your fingers have dug into your thigh without you noticing until now that Mingi is directing attention to your body. There’s so much tension inside your body that your breathing feels labored as if there are coils fastened inside you and everything Mingi says and does tighten up every bit of your internal structure. He has you feeling lightheaded with words alone.

Sensing your hesitance, Mingi speaks again. ”You don’t have to, I just really want to see you.”

The last sentence has you moving without thinking, getting up on your knees on the seat under your window. You take a quick glance around the street and in the windows of nearby neighbors. The whole world is asleep, only you and Mingi are awake.

You use your free hand to pull your tank top as high as possible, exposing your stomach and chest to Mingi who has stopped touching himself and is keeping razor-sharp focus on you.

”You-… Thank you, you’re gorgeous, do I ever tell you that?” Mingi’s voice is low and hushed. Until now he has sounded loud and confident, and if you didn’t know any better you would think that Mingi has gotten shy. He probably didn’t expect you to follow through with his request.

You haven’t spoken in minutes and you’re not sure if you could make any noise without it coming out as a whine, but luckily Mingi speaks up once more.

”Can you get into bed? I’m gonna lay down, please join me, please, would you touch yourself with me?” Mingi pleas. He waits a second for the words to register, for you to spring into action before he does so himself. Part of you wants to stay and keep drinking in the sight of his body, but the expectations of what he’s going to have you doing has you obeying his words.

”I’m in bed now,” your voice is still hushed, and there’s a layer of excitement in it that brings on a wave of embarrassment.

”I am too, I’m gonna- I’m taking my underwear off. It’s been so long, I just need to…” Mingi trails off. His end of the call is muffled, and a little distorted, and you can hear him shuffling to get his boxers off.

”It’s been so long since what?” you ask to clarify.

”Since we last did this, since I last came…” he answers. Fuck.

”Have you not been cumming since we last had phone sex?”

Mingi quiets down for a second before he lets out a breathy laugh.

”Have you?” he asks with a tone in his voice you can’t make out, but it has your cheeks heating up and your entire body running ice cold.

You turn silent now, but it’s clear from how Mingi is laughing under his breath that he doesn’t need an answer from you to know the truth.

”Oh my god. Well, tell me then, how many times have you made yourself cum since our last call?” Mingi asks. He sounds so cocky, so full of himself that you don’t know whether to roll your eyes or shove your hand between your legs and revel in this stupidly hot version of Mingi.

”Maybe two or three times,” you mumble, hoping that he doesn’t catch it.

”Let's just pretend I believe that. What have you been thinking about?”

You whine, feeling your entire body surge with shame and humiliation. Despite all of it, you’ve bunched up your blanket between your legs and without thinking about it you’ve started rutting against it slowly.

”Mingi, please…”

”Tell me.”

”I think about you. I always do. I’ve been thinking about that kiss, and-…” Your thought is interrupted by a sound on the other end of the line, along with Mingis soft hums. ”Mingi, are you jacking off to me telling you I fantasize about you?”

”I’m jacking off to your voice,” he says so matter of fact it knocks the air out of you. He continues, ”The fact that it’s about me only makes it better.”

”Oh my god,” you sigh, closing your eyes and letting your hand move where you need it most. Mingis voice is sweet and gentle as he moans with each stroke, and his phone is so close to his mouth you’re tricked into believing he’s right next to you, breathing and huffing.

”I wish you were here right now,” he says, sort of under his breath, a little quiet. It feels a little secretive when he says it, like when you were younger and he would have you turn your back to him as he did the same. With your backs pressed together, he would tell you all his deepest secrets, and when you’d turn around again you would both pretend like nothing had happened. It’s a memory you have replayed a lot more recently than ever before, just due to how similar it feels to this arrangement you have with Mingi. As long as you aren’t faced with each other, as long as your backs are turned you can do and say whatever you want.

Instead of sulking about it, you force yourself to play along.

”I do too, I need you so bad,” you whisper, and none of it is a lie.

”Need to see you cum for me, fuck, I need you to make me cum,” he moans. It echoes through your entire head, that moan and those words, and it has you rolling onto your back and pulling your underwear down your legs so you can touch yourself properly.

”You’ll make me cum just by saying that, Mingi,” you say, pathetically so. Something about Mingi has you reaching the edge faster than anything else.

”Fuck, me too. Just hearing you say my name is enough to make me cum right now. I’ve never felt this fucking good,” Mingi groans.

”Mingi,” you let out again, out of pure instinct. ”Mingi, please give me permission to cum, I need it, please!”

He does, in a string of words and breathless moans he allows you to cum with him. Your orgasm rolls through your entire body in a blinding flash, and by the time it’s over you can’t gauge if multiple minutes or just a few seconds have passed. Your phone is pressed so tight to your ear that pearls of sweat coat the screen.

”You there?” Mingis voice is raspy, all fucked out.

You come to, clearing your throat, ”I’m here, sorry. Holy shit.”

”What are you doing tomorrow?” he asks. You don’t have time to feel overjoyed or even finish your train of thought (of oh, fuck, it’s finally happening) before Mingi continues, ”Yunho’s throwing this… thing, at his house. There’s gonna be a barbeque, we’re gonna get drinks, and he says it’s going to be chill but you know how he is. It’s gonna end up being a party by the end of the night.”

You’re staring up at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers Mingi helped you set up when you were 15, and the answer is so obvious you don’t have to think about it.

”Yeah, I’ll go with you,” you respond.

”Well… I’ll take you, but maybe we shouldn’t make it too obvious when we’re there. All of our friends will be there, maybe it’s best to lay low?”

You clench your eyes shut. It makes you want to scream so loud it’d pierce your wall and travel across the street and through to his bedroom. A week ago he had been so concerned about things turning weird between you two and you’d written it off as a worry about your friendship, about how things would change after all the words and naked pictures you had exchanged. You hadn’t considered for a second that Mingi would be concerned for his reputation.

”Yeah,” you mutter. ”No, yeah, you’re right.”

”Okay then,” he says, so cheerily that you feel shame wash over you. ”I’ll pick you up tomorrow at five then?”

You hum in response and swap goodbyes before he ends the call and the beeps ring through your ear.

Your sleep that night is weighed down by a worry you can't dispel even after you wake up. You hardly feel rested, and your parent's voices barely register when they speak to you at breakfast. A lot of thoughts linger in your head, unshakeable doubts about whether things with Mingi are really going to be as okay as you had thought when you were in school.

Things had felt so much simpler then, like this steadfast belief that it would be just as it had always been. You had returned every single summer and were able to pick back up your friendship with Mingi with no trouble, despite all the months you had spent apart.

At least you would get to see all your friends again. Summer being in full swing would mean that everyone would be at their happiest, most free, possibly stupid, and risky behavior.

The day passes by sluggishly, you're merely counting down the hours. You try to read a book while lying in the sun in your backyard, but find that the words just flow together. You check your phone and see the half-hour call in your log from yesterday night, you’re just staring at Mingi's name and contact picture. It's just letters and numbers on a screen, but it's also a journal of your entire relationship. You can go back and see every single one, remember where things had started and where things had escalated. It took you weeks to send the first suggestive pictures to each other and they had been modest back then. A picture of your dark silhouette in the mirror, and Mingi replying with a blurry picture of his thighs in the dark of his room.

It's just another reminder that what you've got with Mingi is all contained in this piece of technology you can fit in your hand. Nothing is real or tangible, except for a few minutes of kissing. That's all you've got that counts as something; Mingi kissing you in your childhood bedroom for a few very good minutes before departing and ignoring you for days.

The kiss lives vividly in your head as you shower and get dressed.

You're sitting on your windowsill and watching the clock tick closer to five when the front door of Mingis house opens and he walks outside. He's got a pair of sunglasses on that he lifts off of his nose to peek up at your window, and when he spots you he waves and motions for you to come down.

You float down the stairs and out your door. The air is light and breezy outside despite the way the sun has been beaming down all day. Mingi is dressed in yet another shirt that shows off his arms, the slight tan line from his work t-shirt that he tries to even out is obvious to you up close and you squeeze his arm to tease him for it.

Both of you sit down in his car. The windows are rolled down to let air flow through and Mingi sets the car stereo to a low volume so you can faintly hear Tears for Fears play in the background. The engine hums pleasantly in comparison to Yunhos Camaro when Mingi starts the car. You watch his hands, waiting for him to shift the stick into first gear, but it doesn't happen.

Instead, time moves in both directions, very slowly but all too quickly as he wraps his hand around the back of your head and pulls you in for a kiss. Every single thought that has plagued you throughout the day vanishes the second his lips are on yours. It's replaced by the fact that these same lips had moaned your name less than 24 hours ago, that he had sounded so desperate when he told you he wished you were there.

Mingi deepens the kiss this time, letting it go on for longer than last time. When you have to part from it to take a breath Mingi trails his kisses from the corner of your mouth to under your ear. The kisses are chaste, barely there, but every single one leaves your skin tingling.

He doesn't return to your lips, he pulls back and regains his breath and his smile is so cocky when he reverses the car out of the driveway. You can't help but giggle then, and Mingi turns up the volume to let the music blare through the entire car. This is the Mingi you've missed, the one that drives through your neighborhood and ignores all the grouchy people who turn around and stare disgruntedly. He sings along too loudly, straining his voice to hit notes that sound awful even though you know that he's a great singer.

Everything feels as it always has when you pull up to Yunhos house and there are cars parked up and down the street. Mingi parks and as you're unbuckling your belt you see him look in the rearview mirror, grooming his hair and then wiping his mouth to remove your lip balm. It stings for a second but you don't let it persist. You just get out of his car and the two of you walk towards Yunhos backyard.

There is a voice in the back of your head that reminds you of the distance Mingi puts between you, this very conscious measurement that would leave no doubt for all your friends that you're strictly platonic. You push that away too, and make way towards all your old school friends instead. Seonghwa is the first to pull you into a hug, and it's all you need for the bubble to burst on all your worries.

Soon enough you're all laughing, the backyard is quickly filling with people and Yunho is having a hard time keeping up with all the people demanding a burger. The afternoon air smells just like high school, and the cheap alcohol mixed in the punch is just like the one you used to drink back then. The only difference is that everyone looks so much older, and the conversations have switched from homework, crushes, and drama to future plans and jobs.

"So what now?" Seonghwa asks you when a few hours have passed and the sun is setting. It's not getting dark, the sun is just changing from blue to lilac. You turn to him, feeling the way the alcohol has affected your vision, the way it's swimming a bit.

"What now?" you ask.

"I mean, are you back for good? Are you gonna settle down, get a job, do the whole small-town thing?" he jokes, but the question he poses is a valid one.

"Hm," you ponder for a second, looking up at the sky as if an answer is gonna rain down on you. "I guess I don't know. I need to get a job, but I'll give myself the summer to figure it out. It feels like the last one before things truly.. you know.."

"Change," Seonghwa interjects. "Before we truly grow up."

The conversation quiets for a moment before you both burst into laughter.

"Jesus, we always get so somber, don't we?" Seonghwa laughs.

"Remember prom? We went out for some air and you couldn't stop talking about the universe because you looked up at the stars for a second," you say.

"I don't remember that, I just remember Hongjoong going off on me because I teared up and ruined the makeup he spent an hour doing on me," Seonghwa recollects. You could remember that. You also remembered the eyeshadow Hongjoong had smeared across Mingis's eyelid, the messy dark brown he had lined his eyes with because Mingi refused to stay still for too long.

None of you had brought any dates that night, your entire friend group had decided to just go together and spend the night dancing with each other. When you had gotten a dance with Mingi towards the end of the night his makeup had started running and you had brushed your thumb under his eye. Nothing about that action or the dance, or the night as a whole, had been close to romantic. He had just been Mingi, the same Mingi as always, he walked you home that night with his arm around your shoulder just like he had every day after school.

It's only with the wisdom of hindsight you can identify little actions to speak otherwise. You can't recall what Sans eyes had looked like when you danced with him, but you remember in great detail how the lights had twinkled in Mingi's irises. All you remember from your dance with Wooyoung is that his hands had been too sweaty to hold, but you can go back in your memory to when Mingi had leaned his head on your shoulder and sang along softly to the song that was playing.

"What is it like when you talk to Mingi?" Seonghwa pulls you out of your thoughts. You don't know when your eyes close, but when you open them again the sky is starting to burn a vibrant pink.

"Well... I don't know. It's good. We talk about all sorts of things," you try to sound matter of fact, very casual. Reminding yourself of Mingis words, lay low.

"Yeah, you must," Seonghwa remarks, a chuckle sounding through his voice. It has you turning to him, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Meaning?" you question.

"Just that there must be substance to your conversations, seeing as Mingi excuses himself from every night out when you call," he says.

"Yeah," you attempt to brush it off as a meaningless piece of information, but it feels like a lot more. You didn't know Mingi would rush home to talk to you.

Seonghwa hums, and your eyes are pulled to the ground where you've been digging your heel into the grass.

"I guess you guys have always been closer than the rest of us. Living across from each other, being childhood friends, all that," he says. There's no hidden meaning or intention behind his words, you know Seonghwa well enough to deduct that, but it still feels like he's trying to catch you out.

"Yeah," you repeat, absent-mindedly. "Suppose so."

Seonghwas mouth twitches a little as if he wants to say something else, but he keeps it shut. You're thankful, because even if he can read between the lines of your and Mingi's strange relationship, the fact that he doesn't say it out loud serves as reassurance to you. It's the same thin veil that you and Mingi drape yourselves in. Unspoken meaning unchanged.

A friend comes over and offers to top off your and Seonghwas glasses, and you decide to get up on your feet and move on from the sudden gloom that took over.

The music is loud and the air gets chillier as the clouds twist amongst pink and orange. You’re talking to Yunho and telling him the story about your mom's disapproval of his car when he notices your shoulders quiver with the drop in temperature. He fetches one of his flannels for you, helping you thread your arms through and telling you that you need another drink to warm up. Yunho makes you something stronger than the diluted punch, and it goes to your head with haste.

It does warm you up, and it pulls you from reality a little. It’s easier to laugh along with Yunhos jokes this way, without thinking about the tension between you and Mingi. It feels good and safe to just be worriless, to feel the wind in your hair and be surrounded by the sound of your friend's voices mixing together.

Your legs are getting wobblier, but Yunho catches you before you fall and he lets you stay posted against him.

You’re just watching the conversation your friends are having without joining in when you feel two hands on your waist. You don’t have to look back to know that it’s Mingi. The smell of his cologne is familiar enough to alert you.

”I think I better get them home,” Mingis voice is warm and round behind your ear. For a second you feel a little bitter, you kind of want to shake his hands off of you and scoff at him because he’s intervening just when you’re truly starting to enjoy yourself without spending a single thought on him. Is that not what he wanted? You’re keeping the secret, you’re not drawing any eyes towards you two. He’s doing that all on his own.

Had it been three years ago, you think your friends had been protesting your leave. You’re all grown up now though, and everyone is understanding when Mingi wraps his arm around your waist, and you both wave goodbye.

Mingi helps you into his car. Tears for Fears is still playing when he turns the car on and starts driving, and you feel a sort of agitation that you can’t place. He doesn’t speak a single word for a minute or two, and the mood inside the car is unbearable.

”I don’t think anyone could tell,” you say. Mingis face is bare of emotion, and you find yourself with an urge to placate him. ”We did well, don’t you think? I didn’t make anything obvious.”

You don’t know what response you expect to get from Mingi, but there’s a palpable shock within you when he pulls the car over to the side of the road and turns to you.

”What?” you ask. Mingis eyes soften when they flick over your entire body, to then end up at your face.

”Did you really.. worry about that?” Mingi wonders softly.

”Huh? I thought-… Yes, I worried about it, because you did. I mean, you told me we needed to lay low.” You’re starting to get thoroughly confused and frustrated.

”I know, but I didn’t think you’d drink so much and cuddle up to Yunho because of it,” Mingi says, his tone quickly working up to a sharpness you’ve never heard in him before.

”Drink so much?” you gasp. ”I was just having fun! It had nothing to do with you! Not everything is about you, Mingi, or about us. I don’t worry about it as much as you do. Believe it or not.”

”I don’t worry about it,” Mingi sounds accused.

”Clearly you do though. You take me to this party and give me instructions on how to behave, then spend the whole time ignoring me. Just like you did all of last week. Clearly, you have to feel ashamed, or- or…” you trail off, feeling your voice crack. Mingi sucks in a deep breath and leans closer, putting his hand on your knee.

”Please,” he urges, and there’s something in his voice that breaks your heart. ”Please, don’t think I could ever be ashamed of you.”

”Then what, Mingi?” you ask quietly, starting to feel yourself break now. Tears are starting to well up and cloud your vision. You continue, ”Do you just not want me? I get if it’s different when we’re face to face, I know it might not be what you expected, I understand if you don’t find me-”

”Stop it!” Mingi is almost shouting now, startling you. ”It’s nothing like that, you have to believe me. Stop saying these things.”

His hand lifts from your knee to hold your face where he wipes away a tear from your cheek. You don’t know what to say, even though there’s a part of you that wants to keep insisting. Mingi isn’t offering any kind of explanation or even an excuse, he’s not saying anything to quell your worries, and his hands on you are not enough.

”Kiss me. Please,” you whisper. There’s more you want to say, like prove it, prove that you want me. Kiss me and mean it.

”I’m not going to kiss you when you’re drunk and I’m sober,” Mingi says, offering up a solemn smile.

”I’m not though,” you argue. This entire conversation has been sobering. You’re still tipsy, your head feels a little heavy and your vision is still floating but you think you can blame it on your tears as much as you can blame it on alcohol.

”Well, you’re drunk enough that I don’t feel comfortable kissing you.” Mingis thumb strokes over your cheek to comfort you. It’s enough to calm you a little, because that you can take. You don’t think you’d want to kiss him either if the roles had been reversed.

”Okay,” you mutter. ”Are you sure it’s not because you don’t want me?”

Mingi sighs, ”We’ll talk about it tomorrow when you’re not-”

”I’m not drunk, Mingi.”

”Okay, okay. But I still want to do this tomorrow, when we’re both thinking clearly. We’re just misunderstanding each other, and this isn’t how I wanted it to go,” he tells you. He leans forward and kisses the top of your head instead, just above your hairline. It must be calculated on his part, to kiss you where your skin can’t feel the warmth of his lips.

”Okay,” you say again. This time Mingi lets out a little laugh at your dissatisfaction.

He starts the car back up and takes off to go home, leaving his hand on your thigh throughout the drive. When he pulls up to his house and you get out of the car your legs feel like jelly, and you realize you’re probably not as sober as you’d like to believe.

”Mingi?” you ask. He rushes to your side to hold you up, though that’s not what you meant. ”Can I sleep here tonight? You know how my mom is, she’d flip if she saw me-”

”I wasn’t planning on letting you go home like this, don’t worry,” he laughs.

So, with his arm around your waist, Mingi guides you inside and up the stairs to his room. It’s dark and you have to remind yourself to be quiet to not wake Mingi's family. While he leaves the room to fetch another blanket you sit down on his bed and look around his room.

It’s been a while since you’ve been here but not much has changed. You know for a fact that Mingi is still just as entertained by his action figures now as he had been at 13. It makes you laugh to see them all lined up on his shelf, right next to a couple of books that you had gifted him. He had forced his way through a couple of them and called you to complain about every choice the main character made.

You’re comforted by how much of his room remains the same. This is a place where you can remember and picture Mingi. By his big stereo, switching CD’s. Cutting out pictures of his friends to add to his collage wall.

Mingi comes back to his room with a blanket and a pillow that he throws next to you on the bed.

You’re watching his every move. When his eyes land on you he lets out a sound you can only read as disgust.

”Of course he gave you that,” he complains, more to himself than to you.

You can’t help but follow his line of sight though, finding that he’s looking at Yunhos flannel shirt.

”What’s so bad about it?” you wonder. Being under Mingis gaze always fills you with a sort of insecurity that has you twisting and turning.

”It's like, his move. Lending out his shirt. And then letting you lean on him like that..” Mingi mutters.

”Why would Yunho ever pull a move on me?” you ask incredulously.

”For the same reason I would, I assume,” he says. ”You’re really hot.”

A heat rushes to your abdomen and you can’t meet Mingis eyes anymore. Today has left you feeling anything but desired by him, but you don’t think he’s lying right now. He wouldn’t lie about finding you hot just minutes after refusing to kiss you.

”It wouldn’t matter what Yunho thinks of me. Like you said last night, you’re the one who has my nudes. Right?” you say.

Mingi sits down next to you, looking at his hands in his lap instead of at you.

”What if he wanted more than just your nudes?” he asks. This, too, feels like he’s asking himself the question. And you don’t know what to answer.

You don’t think Yunho poses any threat whatsoever, he’s just friendly and flirty by nature. But you let yourself think about what Mingi is implying for a second. What if he - or anyone else - would want more of you than Mingi does? Someone who could offer you a relationship that wouldn’t require secrecy. Someone who would bring you around his friends and hold your hand for everyone to see. Someone who would properly date you and want a relationship, as opposed to dirty phone sex at odd hours of the night.

You realize you’d always pick Mingi above all that, no matter if you had to have him only partially. If he was never yours.

You open your mouth to respond but shut it again when you can’t find the right words.

Mingi looks over at you. He speaks, ”Can’t you take it off?”

”Take it off of me,” you whisper back.

His mouth twitches into a small smile.

”It’d be a lot sexier if I wasn’t taking Yunhos clothes off of you the first time I undress you,” he still sounds displeased, but his hands work the shirt off of you anyways. He discards it to the floor, as far away as it can come.

”These are all mine,” you say, meaning the clothes you have on. ”You can take those off.”

Mingi lets out a drawn-out breath, something to collect himself. His hands pause at the hem of your top even though you’ve already given consent, waiting for you to nod until he starts pulling it over your head.

Silence permeates in Mingis bedroom as he continues undressing you. It’s just the wind rustling his curtains that disrupts the quiet. He guides you to lie down so he can unbutton your shorts to take them off. His hands are so gentle and his touch is soft, when he has finished taking your socks off and all your clothes are on the floor except for your underwear he leans down and presses a sweet kiss right above your knee.

”Take yours off too, please,” you say softly. He’s not quite as delicate with himself, he doesn’t make a show of it. You can’t help but stare though, trying to really commit this to memory since it’s the very first time you’re seeing him strip for you, even if you know it won’t be followed up with all the things you’ve talked about on the phone.

Your eyes flick all over him, down his toned arms and up his torso as he pulls his shirt over his head, across his broad chest. You watch his fingers work the button on his shorts open, revealing his dark underwear. He’s not hard, at least not fully, and it’s strangely intimate to be so close to his dick for the first time but not in a sexual manner. Everything about it makes your heart feel heavy, you’re somehow aware of each pump of it, how it’s speeding up at the mere sight of Mingi.

Mingi, your Mingi, that hasn’t ever been yours. Not really, not properly, but still somehow.

You want him on top of you so bad, to finally feel him in the ways you’ve dreamt about for a full year. Instead, Mingi climbs in bed with you and pulls you close.

He is soft and warm in all the spots your bodies are connected and intertwined. You fall asleep to the sounds of his breath coming out slow and steady.

You wake to a breeze of air over your face. At first, all you can hear is the chirps of birds outside and the distant noise of cars driving around. You don’t need to open your eyes to know that it’s the middle of the day, the sun is bright in that midday way, bright enough that there isn’t a total blackness even when you screw your eyes shut further.

You just turn around and try to escape from it by burying your face into the pillow. The texture of the pillow feels strange and unfamiliar, and the more you come to you realize it also doesn’t smell like your bedding. It smells like Mingi, you realize, and shoot up in a startle.

You don’t have time to wonder why the bed is empty next to you, because you can hear steps on the stairs and seconds later the bedroom door creaks open. Through a squint you can see Mingi in the same state you remember him falling asleep. In just his underwear he walks up to the bed and sets down a glass of water and a plate, before petting his hand over your hair.

”Good morning,” he greets you, smiling big.

”Mm, yeah,” you hum back, still drowsy. It’s far more comfortable to let your eyes close again and just lean into Mingi's affection.

”You okay? Are you hungover?” Mingi asks.

”Yeah, but not from drinking,” you murmur. ”It’s from you yelling at me.”

”I wasn’t yelling!” There’s an undertone to his voice, an actual worry and fear that you’d be feeling a certain way today after last night's conversation.

”I know you weren’t, Mingi. I’m just messing with you, I remember every bit of that conversation,” you assure him. He lets out a sigh of relief, his thumb stroking over your temple.

”That was going to be my next question,” he tells you. ”So you remember the whole night then?”

You nod your head under his hand.

”Do you want to talk about it?” he asks you.

The question stabs at something inside your sternum. Of course, you want to talk, in reality, there are a thousand times you’ve held yourself back from saying to him and there would be nothing more freeing than telling Mingi all of it. There’s just never a time and place for it though and you’ve come to terms that there never will be. It would take astronomical changes to allow you to say what you want. Yes, Mingi, I’m in love with you and probably have been all my life. Mingi, it took us sexting to make me realize you’re the only one I could ever picture myself with.

You had of course let yourself fantasize a couple of times, but the details of any imaginary and hypothetical relationship between you two would quickly obscure, and Mingi was often a perpetrator in that. It would present itself on days when you lived in the afterglow of a nighttime call. You’d walk on clouds with the memories of Mingi moaning your name, then check social media and be greeted with photos of him with his arm around your lifelong friends and strangers you would get nauseous picturing Mingi talking to. Your name wouldn’t even come up in conversation, he’d appear single to them because after all, he was.

So you wouldn’t often entertain the idea of being something more. You’d just treat it as a passing thought, boil it down to what it was, a neuronal connection gone to grief.

You guess you had hoped to see something in Mingi to completely deny these thoughts. Like, a first kiss that you wouldn’t be able to break away from. Or the moment you finally have sex for the first time and it being this out-of-body experience that ends with both of you crying and confessing your love. Like a scene out of a movie.

You could even have survived the opposite. If the first kiss had gone sour and the spark died before it even ignited. At the very least, you would have an answer to all your questions. Instead of being tethered to this middle ground where there’s an undeniable passion and need for each other, but a considerable distance keeping you apart.

Though there were things you’d want to say, there are none you could verbalize.

”I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” you say, finally. To convince Mingi of this, you open your eyes and roll onto your back so you can look at him. He looks unconvinced, so you continue, ”I think I was just confused and upset. I don’t know why. Maybe because you’ve barely spoken to me since I came back home. I had just… expected more.”

You find yourself surprised that you’re telling the truth. It’s not what you had meant to say, but it’s true and innocent enough. Mingis hand rests on the side of your face, where his fingers fiddle with your hair, and for a second his eyes focus on that, before coming back to yours.

”I don’t have any excuse,” he says. ”I guess I could say that I kept seeing your relatives show up at your house and I thought it’d be rude to whisk you away from all that just to fuck you. But I think the more time passed, the harder it got to..”

”Yeah,” you agree. ”To fuck.”

He smiles at your choice of words and nods.

”Have you not happened to notice I haven’t initiated a single kiss between us, Mingi? I’m nervous too. It’s different in real life. It was much easier on the phone to just do things,” you say.

”Would it make it easier if I told you I’d really like to kiss right now?” Mingi asks.

There won’t ever come a time when the prospect of Mingi wanting to kiss you won’t send a jolt of electricity through each and every vein in your body. Nor will there ever be an instance where you won’t act on that will, especially since it seems that there will be a finite number of them. As you prop yourself up and lean in to kiss Mingi you realize that, along with this being the very first time that you initiate a kiss with him, you’re also one kiss closer to the last kiss you’ll ever have with him.

Because there will be a last time. If you keep going like this there is no other possible outcome, there will simply come a day when Mingis's eyes set on someone else and your arrangement is concluded. There’s not an if, it’s simply a when, and every kiss from now on is going to lead up to that last one. You can’t decide if you should hold out and stave off that last one for as long as you can or fit in as many as possible until then.

All these thoughts disperse when your mouth meets Mingis and he kisses you back. It’s hard to think of anything other than his warm lips or his tongue softly licking against yours. It’s more playful this time compared to the last two, today you’re both feeling each other out and learning what to do, what feels good.

You find yourself out of rhythm at times, the position you’re in is a little awkward, and you fumble through a few kisses to lean closer to Mingi. You feel your stomach swirl when you realize that none of this deters Mingi, that you can in fact feel him smile and breathe out something between a hum and a moan every time you come crashing against his mouth. His big hand comes up to your jaw, long fingers curling around the back of your head to deepen the kiss.

Things get heady so fast with Mingi, he works you up so incredibly quickly, and it’s obvious from the sounds he’s making that he’s just as affected. He doesn’t pull away for a second, his hand keeps your head in place and he continues to clumsily kiss you as he guides you down onto the bed.

The air in Mingi's room is hot from the summer sun shining through his window. It’s not until now you realize that the only thing separating you from Mingis body has been his thin blanket. He starts peeling it away, and it’s then you remember that Mingi had undressed you the night before. A jolt of panic shoots through you now that Mingi can see you, entirely nude except for your underwear, in the warm, bright light of his room. You find comfort in the fact that he’s undressed too, but with Mingis eyes taking you in it’s hard to feel relaxed.

Mingi leans in for a long, passionate kiss, and against your mouth he muffles, ”You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Your head is swimming, Mingi keeps on kissing you, getting softer and more careful as he moves down your neck and continues to lavish you with compliments. So pretty, kiss, gorgeous, kiss, breathtaking, kiss. And if you had any doubts, he squashes every single one when he kisses from your collarbone, over your chest and down your stomach, all the way down to your hips.

He plants his hands on each of your thighs, not grabbing or putting any pressure, but you can still feel the weight of them.

”Is this okay?” he asks quietly. He kisses just above the waistband of your underwear, and at the same time, his hands nudge your legs apart. Your breath catches in your throat and you can only nod and let his hands move your legs to where he wants them.

”What about your family?” you ask him, suddenly realizing the reality of where you are.

”No one’s home. It’s just us,” he says. ”So don’t hold back on me please.”

His shoulders are big and broad between your legs. The sun illuminates him so prettily, his tan skin glows, and every little hair on his body is lit up by the sun. The heat has left a thin layer of sweat on his skin and it highlights his muscles in just the right way. He’s just glowing, near angelic, and you’re moved with the need to worship every part of him.

Mingi is still so tender with all his kisses, there’s no sense of rushing as he takes his time by really letting his lips linger. His mouth trails along your entire thigh, stopping now and then to lightly suck your skin into his mouth and have a taste of you. He only falters when he gets to the junction of your thigh, to where your skin is covered by the fabric of your underwear.

You’ve been short of breath for a while now, but when Mingis fingers dip into the waistline of your underwear you cease to breathe entirely. Your head is rushing, watching as Mingis hands pull your underwear down your legs, leaving you completely naked. You’ve sent him pictures before, he knows what every little inch of your body looks like, but Mingi looks at you as if it’s the very first time.

A thousand thoughts whirl through your head between the seconds your underwear hits the floor to when Mingi springs into action. A thousand worries now culminating, whether he’ll realize that it was better over the phone, if he’s disappointed by what he’s seeing, or if he’s repulsed by how aroused you already are.

”You’re,” Mingi begins, stopping to press a kiss at the seam of your thigh. He adds, ”Beautiful.”

His eyes aren’t even on yours, he’s single-mindedly focused on what’s right in front of him. His breath is fanning across your entire crotch, tickling your inner thighs, and as you feel it get closer and closer you instinctively close your eyes and let your head roll back when Mingi finally puts his mouth where you need it most.

He’s still so gentle, using his tongue and lips to tease you and explore what you like best. It feels like hours pass of Mingi lightly sucking and pressing wet kisses all over you, he’s really and truly taking his time and you have to believe it’s for his own sake because he’s only building up a frustration within you.

”Mingi,” you whine, reaching down to grab hold of his hair. It’s an objectively insane feeling, to have his hair in your hand and head between your legs, after all this time of dreaming of it. It’s enough to have you getting close, even though Mingi is still lapping carefully at you, and it's nowhere close enough to what you crave.

When you start bucking your hips against his mouth it’s like he releases all restrain and just goes for it. His hands wrap around your legs at first, pressing them towards his head, to then wedging underneath your ass so he can get all of you into his mouth.

Mingi moans out ”You taste so good” with a mouthful of you at the same time you tell him how good he is with his mouth, prompting him to smirk against your pelvis. It really doesn’t take long for him to learn what gets you closest to the edge, just where he should put his tongue and where to apply some pressure.

”So good, Mingi, you’re so good. Oh my god,” you sigh. You tug on his hair hard enough for your fingers to cramp, and Mingi only moans against you. Every sound you make seems to spur him on further, Mingi only getting more eager with the way he’s circling his tongue around you.

His tongue is getting you closer and closer, your stomach is splitting in two to hold onto the edge and trying not to cum. You’ve been waiting for this for so long that it feels a shame to cum just minutes after Mingis mouth is on you, but there’s no holding back. His hands grip your hips, pulling you flush to his face, and the second you lift your head to look down at him between your legs you start orgasming in his mouth.

He understands what’s happening before you do, applying enough pressure to get you over the edge before letting up and licking you slower to help you come down. All while he keeps his eyes on yours, letting your fingers scratch his scalp. Mingi listens to every little noise you make and stops the second your heavy breathing turns into an overstimulated hiss.

”Mingi, Mingi,” you whine. His cheeks are flushed a deep pink and his lips are slick with his own spit and your cum, and you can’t stop admiring him. All you can do is pray that Mingi looks into your eyes and mistakes your all-consuming love as the afterglow of a great orgasm.

He pulls himself up enough to crawl on top of you, and though he’s just spent minutes between your legs, this feels a lot more daunting. He hesitates for a moment as if he’s unsure if he’s allowed to kiss you, so you wrap your hands around the back of his head and pull him towards you.

Mingi is breathing heavily from the effort he’s just put forth, and instead of letting him catch his breath you only grow more desperate. Your hands clammer onto his shoulders, pulling him against you, then down to his waist, and finally around his ass so you can pull him against your core. He’s got his underwear on, but you don’t let it stop you as you grind up against him. He’s hard and you’re still wet with spit and cum, it doesn’t take long before you’ve soaked his boxers and the barrier between you both is practically nonexistent. You can feel every bit of him against you.

”Mingi,” you moan into his mouth. ”Fuck me, please.”

He pulls away and sucks in a deep breath.

”Don’t you want me to… uh, prepare you?” He sounds small and insecure. You watch his brows burrow and his eyes flick across your face, and you’re struck by how much he looks like Mingi. Your best friend Mingi, who you’ve built up in your head as a confident sex god, even though you’ve always been aware that he’s more careful and vary than any other person you know.

You suppose you’d just assume that that version of him would disappear in the bedroom, that he’d be the same as he is over the phone when he’s telling you all the different ways he wants to fuck you.

”I’m- I’m embarrassed to say this, but I’m so worked up you could just slide inside me,” you tell him, and Mingi moans in response.

”Are you sure?” he asks. You pick up motion again, sliding yourself against the entire length of his dick.

”I’m not just sure, I’m begging,” you plea. You hook your fingers into his boxers, trying to tug them down even though you know the position you’re in won’t allow you to undress him. You just need him to act, now, you can’t wait any longer.

It happens fast, Mingi pulling his boxers off and getting back on top of you, to then lining up his dick to enter you.

”Fuck, I forgot how big you are,” you mumble. The sight of him in comparison to you, lined up against you, is enough to make you cum untouched.

This is what you’ve been dreaming about for a whole year, this very moment. For Mingi to push inside you, hook your legs over his shoulders and fuck you until you can’t see straight. Actually being here, with the tip of his dick against your hole, it feels much different. It’s not the actual sex you’re looking forward to, it’s the fact that he’s finally going to be inside you. It feels like you’re claiming him, that the moment is finally here and he’s going to be yours.

”Are you okay? Are you ready? Can I-?” Mingi asks, searching your eyes for uncertainty.

”Please,” you nod.

He starts pushing inside, watching his dick slide with ease until he’s got the entire tip in. The stretch feels amazing, you could take all of him in one go but the fact that he stops and leans down to kiss you as he slowly thrusts his entire cock inside is way better. And god, he kisses you as if he’s not currently buried inside you. His lips barely brush against yours, and the kisses are short and sweet. Finally, he pulls back to watch himself bottom out.

The sun is shining on the side of Mingis face, and this is just not at all how you had pictured it. In your fantasies, there had always been a dark bedroom and Mingis body had been on top of yours, only distinguishable by faint lights outside the window. It was quick, rushed, and dirty, maybe Mingis hand would be clamped over your mouth to keep you from making any sounds since it would have to happen at one of your homes. Sometimes you’d imagine it happening in his car, parked somewhere secluded at night, it would be bumpy and awkward and sweaty and the focus would just be on both of you cumming as soon as possible.

You hadn’t pictured it like this. Like, Mingi looking at you as if he’s seeing you for the first time.

His hair is messy from your hands grabbing it, and the sunlight lights it up like a halo. Time feels unmoving, you’re drinking in the sight of him and trying to memorize every small detail.

He starts thrusting carefully and slowly. His back is upright, leaning away from you so he can watch his cock go in and out of you. You can’t stop watching him though. He’s so beautiful, his hair is a mess, and beads of sweat are starting to trickle down his chest. You reach your hands up, caressing his skin.

You wonder if you’re breaking some sort of unspoken rule. The two of you hadn’t discussed or set any boundaries, but when you slide your hands over Mingis chest and stomach, you wonder if you should have. This isn’t just fucking, you’re worshipping him and looking at him with intense adoration. He’s going so slow too, really taking his time. You’re not fucking, this is making love.

”I’ve never felt this good, you feel so good,” he moans under his breath. He curls his hands under your ass, picking you up so he can get better leverage to thrust as deep inside as possible. The new angle makes him groan, ”Fuck, you were made for me, weren’t you?”

It has you sobbing with pleasure. Mingis fingers are digging into your flesh, and he fucks you at this torturous pace for tens of minutes. You can truly feel the drag of his dick inside of you, when he bottoms out all the way inside to when the tip of his dick is at your entrance.

”You’re so good, oh my god! So good, you’re so handsome, Mingi,” you praise him, causing Mingi to pick up the speed.

You’re grabbing at his arms and shoulders, trying to pull him down, to get him closer. He lets you down on the bed and leans down, coming chest to chest with you, shoving his arm under your head instead. Your bodies are flush with each other now, Mingis pelvis rubbing against you and getting you close to cumming again stupidly quick.

His mouth is right by your ear, pressing a few sloppy kisses to your neck and temple. He is moaning your name and though his voice is hushed and strained you can still feel it reverberate through his chest, right against yours.

It’s precisely that which has you cumming, the sound of his voice calling your name over and over, telling you how good you feel. Your ears start to ring when your orgasm rolls through you and Mingi only picks up the pace to intensify it. You can faintly hear him, somewhere far away now, this otherwordly being showering you with so much affection it has tears forming in your eyes.

”You’re so perfect,” he’s telling you, fucking you faster. ”Just for me, all for me, you’re all mine.”

Somewhere through it, you realize he’s picked up the speed because he’s close too, but he wants to make it good for you before he pulls out. His eyes are on you, watching your breathing return to normal and feeling your hands unclench from his shoulders, and only when he’s certain that you’re coming down from the orgasm he leans back and pulls out. He only manages to get his hand around his cock before he cums all over your stomach, cumming so hard he shoots all the way up to your chest.

Mingis other hand is grabbing your waist and you can’t stop looking at the way he’s marked you up. There are red marks on you from the tips of his fingers, and little marks from his nails all over your hips, and you’re covered in his cum. Just seconds ago he’d told you that you’re all his, and in this moment you feel it.

”Fuck, that was…” Mingi is the first to speak. ”Shit, let me get you cleaned up.”

He scrambles for his underwear, starting to wipe his cum from your stomach.

You’ve managed to blink away the tears that welled up when you came, but there’s still a sob within your chest that you’re fighting to choke down. Everything about what just happened was about a thousand times more intense than you had ever dreamt of. Had he not pulled away you think you might have confessed to him right then and there.

”How are you feeling?” you ask him, clearing your throat and hoping Mingi reads it as just being fucked out.

”Very good,” he responds, without a hint of hesitance or a second of stalling. There’s a faint laugh in his voice, and he’s starting to smile. Nothing about him looks like you currently feel.

”Oh,” you say, struggling to find words. It’s not like you had expected him to just bare his heart and pour out confessions. You’d just expected something more to follow, after all of that. You had made love. There’s no other word for it.

Mingi leans down and kisses you once, so chaste you barely have time to kiss back.

He gets up and pulls out a pair of new boxers from his dresser, stepping in them.

”Fuck, I made you breakfast earlier and forgot all about it,” he tells you. You look over at the nightstand, where your breakfast sits forgotten.

”Oh,” you repeat. Your head drops back down on Mingis pillow. You speak again, ”I think I’d rather have a shower.”

It’s all so thoroughly strange. Mingi clasps his hand in yours and pulls you up from the bed, and you feel perturbed. You’ve seen Mingi greet Yunho with more affection than the way he helps you up on your feet. At least he joins you in the shower, but you feel weirdly disconnected from him. Even when he jokes and suds up his hair into silly hairstyles you can only manage halfhearted laughs.

Your body aches to have him closer, to feel him pressed against you and to have his lips back on yours again. The kisses he’s giving you now feel cheeky, as if he’s kissing you just because he can, and not because he truly wants to.

You suppose there’s reason to feel thankful, because at the very least Mingi hasn’t rejected you. His casualty is worth a lot more to you than the possibility that he could have pulled back and realized that everything about this was a mistake. He ruffles your hair after the shower, and it stings, but each second you continue to remind yourself that this is how things are supposed to be.

He lets you have one of his shirts after the shower, and he cooks you a very late lunch, then Mingi has to leave for work. Your legs are still unsteady when you make the walk back home to your house.

You prepare yourself to be ignored again. You busy yourself with cleaning your room, reading a book, cleaning out weeds in the garden, sending out job applications, anything you can to make the hours go by. You don’t want to check your phone, but your fingers itch to see if Mingi has texted you.

Nothing.

It’s not until late that night when you know Mingi's shift has ended that he calls you.

”Hey,” you answer, walking over to your window. Mingis car is in the driveway, but you can't see him in his room.

”Hi there,” he greets you. ”Busy day?”

”Oh you know, the usual,” you say. ”Mom wasn’t too happy with me spending the night but she was very relieved to hear it was with you.”

You’re still dressed in his t-shirt, and throughout the day you've been bringing the collar up to your nose to smell him on it. You find yourself doing it now too.

”Her head would explode if she knew what you were doing at my house this morning,” he teases you.

”Good thing no one will ever know then,” you joke, though it is the truth. It was always meant to be a secret.

”Right,” he says. ”So, do you think maybe you could come over tomorrow? My parents will be gone, I start working in the afternoon again, I was thinking maybe-”

”Yes,” you interrupt him.

Mingi laughs, ”Okay. Uh, do I sound desperate if I say that you can come over as soon as you wake up?”

”A little, but I like it,” you giggle.

”Good.”

”I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

You sleep so much better when you know that you’re seeing Mingi tomorrow. You wake up feeling completely rested, and you’re giddy as you sort out your bedhead and get dressed.

Mingis parents aren’t home, and there’s a spare key resting atop the frame of the front door that you use to let yourself into their home. It’s still early, early enough that you know that Mingi is probably fast asleep in his bed. You try to keep your steps light as you trudge up the stairs and into his room. The curtains are drawn, only letting in a stream of sunlight that lights up a sliver on his bed. The orange morning sun is casting a few inches of light on his thigh, so you let it lead you.

It’s where you first press a kiss. He smells of sleep and Mingi, you inhale the scent of his skin between kisses you trail all over his thigh and over the front of his underwear. Mingi sighs softly in his sleep, hips twitching when your lips kiss the tip of his dick through the fabric of his boxers. You’re looking up to watch his face, but when he’s still asleep as you mouth over his entire cock, you crawl up and kiss his lips.

Mingi huffs and puffs, twisting underneath you. You continue to kiss all over his sleepy, confused face. He cracks an eye open, transforming from a groggy confusion to a content smile.

”Morning,” he mumbles happily.

”Hey,” you whisper, kissing the corner of his mouth. ”Can I suck you off?”

He lets out a drawn-out moan that tapers off into a sigh, nodding fervently. His hands are weak and his fingers fumble to find purchase in your hair when you pull his underwear down his legs and take him into your mouth right away.

He sounds so lovely, all raspy and deep from his sleep. Even though he’s just come to consciousness, Mingi makes sure to tell you how good you are making him feel. He moans your name, over and over, giving you so much praise it’s making your head swim.

It doesn’t take him long to get close, so you choke out permission for him to cum in your mouth, and Mingi listens eagerly. Even as he cums he’s vocal, talking you through it and reminding you to breathe all while he praises you for how well you take it. He’s so gentle it’s making you moan as you swallow, and when you pull off his dick you scramble to get his thigh between yours.

Mingis hands guide your hips over his thigh, setting the pace for you to hump him. He keeps the praise coming, and when he feels you getting close he pulls you down for a numbing kiss. You cum on his thigh while deep in a kiss, and Mingi holds you close to his chest as you come down from it.

Somewhere in the post-orgasm haze, you both fall asleep. It’s peaceful and quiet, Mingi lulls you to sleep with the sounds of his breath and his fingers drawing patterns on your back. When you wake up again it’s in a sweat. His little bedroom is swarming with heat, so you decide on a shower, where Mingi has your chest pressed against the white tiles while he fucks you until you’re cumming a second time, this time while full of his cock. He bites down on your shoulder to keep from cumming until he knows you’re fully satisfied, and only then does he pull out and let himself cum on your ass.

When you’re pulling his shirt over your head 10 minutes later while he cooks you lunch, you catch sight of marks on your shoulder. His teeth had dug hard enough to bloom bruises on your skin, and your mind reels at the fact that he has marked you up.

Mingi has you coming over the next morning too, after you’d spent the previous night sending him pictures of the bruises his teeth left on your skin. His responses had been sporadic as he focused on work, but it didn’t stop you from going into detail about all the things you want Mingi to do to you.

It’s like all the limits have finally vanished, neither of you are held back by the fears and worries of before. It’s just like it had been before you moved back, when you only had phone calls to rely on. Back then, the comfort had come from the fact that you didn’t have to actualize all the things you spoke about. You had time to feel each other out and discuss what you want, all without having to put yourself on the line for possible failure. Now, you’ve found reassurance in the fact that you do have a physical relationship.

You know each other in your bones. You can read all the queues his body gives you, and you know what every little expression on his face means. You can sense differences in his sighs and you know what his voice sounds like when it’s getting to be too much. There’s no room for doubt when Mingi is in front of you, you just intrinsically know what he needs.

The two of you fall into a routine. When morning comes, you skip over to Mingi's house and usually he’s still asleep, tired from his shift the day before. You wake him up with kisses or gentle touches, and if he’s hard by the time you get there, Mingi loves to wake up to you already taking care of him. Some mornings you simply lay beside him, tracing his face with your finger. His hair sticks to his forehead so you brush it back, giving soft kisses to the side of his temple. Your pointer finger follows the contour of his nose and lips, feeling the warmth of his breath exit his nose.

Even though he’s asleep and unaware of your worship, you can’t bring yourself to stop. It’s in these moments you can be fully truthful with your affections. Letting your hands linger on his chest for a moment longer, focusing on his heartbeat underneath your palm. You whisper things to him you’re too afraid to say when he can hear you, just to release yourself from the need. It satiates you enough, like this airing out of your system, enough to keep you going until the next morning when you once again get overwhelmed with the sight of his sleeping form blanketed by sunlight. There is only one thing you forbid yourself from saying, three words that you vow to never let yourself speak.

A full two weeks pass of this. Every day you explore something new, things you’ve spoken about on the phone over the last year. With Mingis parents working daytime, you have full freedom to be as loud as you want. Mingi also takes full advantage of a free house. One morning he bends you over the kitchen counter while breakfast is still cooking. His mouth is always right by your ear, moaning and telling you how bad he needs you, despite fucking you upstairs in his bedroom just an hour earlier. Another day he has you ride him on the couch right before he leaves for work. You love it most when Mingi randomly decides to go down on you, whether it’s in the shower or he makes you lie down on the kitchen table. When he’s got his mouth on you he’s possessive, making sure to mark up your thighs and hips. It happens so often that he sometimes ends up darkening the hickeys he left a few days earlier.

Then Mingis schedule changes, and he has to work in the mornings. It doesn’t stop you, but it puts a damper on things as you know them. You have to meet in the afternoons instead, and with Mingi's parents home you end up sitting through long dinners with his parents, reminiscing and talking. It makes sex a little difficult, and Mingi hates the fact that you have to be quiet. He picks you up in his car a few times, but quick head while parked at the edge of the woods is a harsh contrast to the hours of sex you’d been able to have a few weeks earlier.

You’re caught by surprise one day when your phone calls and you rush to pick up only to find Yunhos voice at the other end. You’re so surprised that you pull your phone away and check the name on the screen, and sure enough it’s Yunho's contact name.

”Hey,” you reply, trying to play off the shock.

”Not happy to hear from me?” he teases.

”Shut up, you know I am!” you joke back.

He laughs in return and makes some small talk, telling you how much fun it was to see you and asking you how you’ve been.

”But, hey, uh,” he interjects. ”You ended up leaving with my shirt, is there any chance I could get it back?”

”Shit,” you curse, squeezing your eyes shut in embarrassment. ”You’re right, I totally forgot. Uh, do you want me to bring it by today?”

”That’d be perfect, thanks!”

When Yunho hangs up the phone, you chew nervously at your lip. Getting the shirt back to Yunho wouldn’t be an issue, it’s just that it’s in Mingi’s room somewhere, and asking him to locate it would probably lead to another weird moment where Mingi says something petty. You’re pacing around your room when your eyes land on his driveway and you remember that Mingi is at work. You’re just about to call Yunho and tell him today’s gonna be impossible, before the solution hits you.

Mingis mom opens the door to their home when you knock, and beams at the sight of you on their doorstep.

”Sweetheart! Hi there, Mingi is at work right now, I’m afraid,” she tells you while wrapping her arms around you for a hug. She always does this, even though you’ve been spending a lot of time over at their house recently, Mingis mother hugs you every time she sees you.

”I know, it’s just that I left something in Mingi's room that I need to get if that’s okay?”

So she lets you run up to his bedroom. You feel a little bad while rummaging through his room, but it doesn’t take you long to find Yunhos flannel shirt bunched up halfway underneath Mingis dresser. Mingis mom tries to convince you to stay for dinner, but you tell her you have to get going, and within moments you’re in your car on the way to Yunhos house.

It’s another picture-perfect day outside, the sky is a pristine blue and the wind is blowing just enough to bring some relief in this heat. Yunho is outside in his front yard, with the rear of his car jacked up.

”Hey, you!” you call, getting out of your car. ”Car trouble?”

You can tell by the fact that he has picked apart the entire wheelhouse that it’s not just something routine, but Yunho shrugs his shoulders.

”Not something I can’t fix,” he smiles. ”Dude, you’re quick. I called you, what, 30 minutes ago?”

You nod, sitting down on the tire Yunho has removed.

”Honestly, I was losing my mind at home. I’ve been doing jack shit for days now, I think I might die out of boredom,” you complain.

”Oh, so you’re saying you left the minute you got my call just because you had nothing better to do? It’s not just because you love me?” Yunho quirks an eyebrow, wiping grease from his forehead.

”Can’t it be both? And anyway, I had to go over to Mingis to get your shirt, so I didn’t leave ’the minute I got your call’,” you say, sticking out your tongue at him.

”It was at Mingi's house?” he asks.

Something comes over Yunhos face that you can’t pinpoint.

”Yeah.. I left with him during the party, and we went to his house afterward.” You hope he buys it as a reasonable enough explanation, it’s at the very least true. Just not the entire truth.

Yunho shrugs, and his eyes lose the edge they just had. He smiles, ”Leaving in one man's shirt to go to another dude's house, all in one night.. Impressive, I’ll give you that.”

”Fuck off!” you huff, kicking Yunhos shoe.

He laughs, slapping down a greasy hand on your knee to let you know that he’s just joking, even though you already know that.

”Although…” you trail off. ”Mingi did say that it’s your move.”

”Oh yeah, it is. I wasn’t expecting you to fall for it, though.” Yunhos's voice is still teasing, but not in the same way that Mingis usually is. You can tell that Yunho is just friendly, that there’s no flirting laced in his words or tone. It makes you miss Mingi.

”I don’t fall for things like that,” you retort, but quickly find your mind going to all the shirts Mingi has let you borrow these past weeks. You wear them all day, every day, even when you come back home after spending time with him. You even sleep in them, and you frequently bury your face in the collar to smell his laundry detergent. The few times he gives you a shirt he’s already worn you end up getting so worked up about it that you think you’d be getting yourself off while smelling it, if it wasn’t for the fact that Mingi now has you cumming at least twice a day.

So, perhaps you do fall for tricks like that. But only when it’s Mingi.

Yunho goes silent, and you can see that he’s chewing on the inside of his lip.

”What’s wrong?” you ask him.

His eyes flick over to yours for a second, then he looks at his hands. You’ve never seen Yunho this deep in thought outside an academic setting, and something about it is making you uneasy.

”You know,” he begins, but the words die as quickly as he says them.

”Yes?” you try again.

He pauses, looking up at you.

”You know that Mingi is my best friend,” he says. ”And I love him, I do, but sometimes he acts like an idiot. And I can’t- I just hate seeing it, you know?”

”Okay,” you mumble, only growing more confused with every word Yunho says.

”I don’t think it was right how he came here with you, then spent the whole night talking to everyone but you. But, he just gets so weird sometimes, right? And like I said, I love him, he’s my best friend, but- we just thought it would be different when you came back home. So, Wooyoung and I decided to see what would happen if I lent you my shirt, and-.. Yeah.”

”What… What are you saying?” Your voice is getting quieter. The cheery happiness from before has retired, and there’s something strange in the atmosphere now. You can’t understand what Yunho is getting at, but there’s a part of you that wonders and wishes. A part of you that can read between the lines of what Yunho is too afraid to say out loud.

”It’s not my place to say,” Yunho says, looking everywhere but your eyes.

”At least tell me what you intended to do with this shirt.” It’s still in your hands, his flannel, and your fingers are tightening around it.

”We just figured that maybe he needed a push,” he tells you, sounding so sheepish.

”You wanted him to get jealous?” you finally say it out loud. Yunho doesn’t meet your eyes, but it’s a clear enough answer. So you ask, ”What do you know about me and Mingi?”

”In all honesty? I don’t know anything. And it used to hurt me because Mingi is my best friend and I’ve known him since we were kids. But that’s what clued me in because I know for a fact that he would have told me if you were dating,” Yunho says. You’re holding your breath while listening to him. He continues, ”I, uh, I accidentally saw the preview of a text you sent him once. Something about.. well, that’s not important. But, I realized it then. We all thought it was just a matter of time, and that you’d make it official when you moved back home.”

You’re hearing every single thing Yunho is saying, but the words just won’t stick. You’re becoming more aware of the birds singing and the sound of the wind among the treetops.

”Mingi is in love with you,” Yunho says. At last. The rest of his words blur together. He has been, a long time, doesn’t know it. Yunhos mouth is moving, and you know what he’s saying, but the rational part of you that knows this can’t be true has stopped listening long ago.

Mingi is not in love with you. He’s just not, that can’t be true.

Yunho scrambles towards you, hands landing on each of your knees. He looks so concerned and his mouth is still moving.

”-you okay? What’s wrong?” You hear once your brain stops blocking your ears. You’re crying, tears falling from your cheeks down onto your hands.

”What did I say?” Yunho asks frantically.

And the confessions start rolling. You tell Yunho about everything, from that first night to everything that has happened since you returned back home. You tell him about the weird moment when Mingi drove you home after the party.

”Don’t you hear it though? He’s in love with you! My god, I think he always has been,” Yunho says.

You scoff, ”He ignored me for four whole months during my first semester away. He’s not in love with me, this is just.. out of comfort, it’s just easy.”

”You’re both in denial. You know what I’m hearing? That Mingi was so heartbroken when you moved away that he couldn’t even be a good friend. That didn’t just extend to you, by the way. He barely hung out with us during that time, and it only changed when you came home for Christmas,” Yunho tries to lay it out for you.

”You’re wrong. You’re wrong-”

”I can’t tell you what to believe,” Yunho says. His hand squeezes your knee, leaving dirty marks of grease on your skin. It’s a gesture of comfort, and you appreciate it for what it is. ”You need to talk to Mingi. Maybe disarm him by telling him that you’re in love with him first.”

The air feels different when you drive back home. It feels heavier, somehow. Yunhos words bear an incredible weight and no matter how many times you run them through your head they don’t get any easier to process. It would be different if it had come from Seonghwa or Hongjoong, who would say practically anything to comfort you. You don’t think Yunho would sweeten his words like they would, or even at all.

You sit through a quiet lunch with your mom, unable to get your thoughts in any other direction than the conversation you just had with Yunho. For some reason, you feel absolutely stuck there, and you can’t see a way for things to work. It feels as if time has been suspended in wait for your next move. The hours tick on though. You lay in your bed and watch the numbers on your alarm clock change. Seconds turn into minutes, and then hours, and your mind is still stuck in the same place as it has since you left Yunhos house.

You don’t realize when the clock indicates that Mingi is ending his shift. The numbers are just ticking, hypnotizing you. You startle when your phone calls and the pit in your stomach grows when you know that it’s probably Mingi.

Your fingers move on pure muscle memory as you pick up your phone and swipe to answer the call, then raise the phone to your ear. Through the phone, you can hear Mingis car running.

”Hello?” Mingi asks. ”You know, it’s usually the person who picks up the phone who speaks first.”

”Sorry,” you croak. You don’t even recognize the sound of your voice.

”Are you okay?” Mingi sounds so concerned it makes your stomach twist. It’s still the same Mingi you have known all your life, and he’s the same man you’ve been fucking the past weeks, but something feels as if it has fundamentally changed. You try to listen to his voice, read it for any hint of tenderness you’d have previously missed. You can’t make out any, it’s the same Mingi as always.

”It’s been a weird day,” you settle for.

”Then what do you say about changing into your swimsuit and we go to the lake? It’s so hot out, I can’t stand to be home. And maybe it can take your mind off of things?” he suggests.

”Yeah, sounds good.”

”I’ll pick you up in 5, better hurry!”

Mingi hangs up. Your head feels all fuzzy and distant, but you pull yourself out of bed and get changed. While putting your clothes over your swimsuit you realize you’re in one of Mingis t-shirts. Every single bit of this feels like a divine punishment. To be dressed in Mingis clothes and have marks in the shape of his mouth decorate your chest and the insides of your thighs, to be so thoroughly claimed by him but yet not be his, is agonizing.

You’re aware that Mingi would park in your driveway and come knocking at your door, wanting to impress and appease your parents at every turn. You just can’t deal with that today, so you hurriedly make your way down the stairs and out your door to wait for him outside. You’re just in time, because Mingi is making the turn up your street and it’s only half a minute before he’s pulling up to your house and you’re getting in his car.

”Hey, I missed you!” Mingi sounds cheerful, sporting a smile so big it’s splitting. You hate the way that time and space curl around Mingi each time you see him as if he presents to you in technicolor and slow motion. Your eyes pass over each feature, trying your best to handle what just seeing him does to your body.

Mingi keeps a pair of extra sunglasses in his car for you, and when you’re sat down he leans over to place them on your face. The gesture is enough to make your breath hitch, but he uses it as an opportunity to lean in for a swift kiss, and you feel as if you’re floating.

Today, Mingi has Fleetwood Mac playing softly throughout the car.

You’re just looking at Mingi with this pit in your stomach, this sense of impending doom sitting heavy in your abdomen. The world feels slow and strangely saturated. The seconds stretch on infinitely, allowing you plenty of time to watch the sunlight adorn Mingi's skin.

You’re aware that you can’t stop staring. When Mingi parks the car and you start making the short walk through the trees to get to the lake, your eyes are always set on him. From the towel slung over his shoulder to the sweat that has broken out and is trickling down the nape of his neck. You’re trying to make sense of the sight in front of you, the same Mingi you’ve made this walk with a hundred times, the only difference being that he’s had you in the most intimate and tender ways now. It forces you to rewrite history, the memories of your childhood innocence are permanently changed. If only you had known then, while sitting on the big rock and throwing pebbles out to break the still surface of the water if you had only known that the boy handing you rocks would end up being the man you fall in love with fifteen years later.

Your stupid, stupid heart. Sometimes you think the ribs, flesh, and muscle containing it won’t be enough to keep it in place. It beats so hard and fast it billows from your chest, through your arms, and out to the very tip of each finger. You have to flex them to stop that lovesick tingle from numbing you.

The water is beautiful. The lake looks just like you remember it, the wind is blowing slight ripples upon the surface and the trees are swinging lightly. Besides the gentle hum of nature, the place is completely undisturbed and it’s just you and Mingi here today.

You're placing your towels down and undressing in silence, barely glancing at each other. You sneak little glances at him in the corner of your eye, wondering what he’s thinking. Yunhos words are still echoing through your head, getting louder and more unbearable for every minute that passes.

Mingi is wading into the water before you know it, covered up to his knees, then thighs, then his waist, and eventually he points his arms and dives in entirely. He erupts back through the surface with a shriek that echoes over the lake, and you can’t stop yourself from laughing.

He rushes back up to where you’re laying on your towel, shoulders bunched up in reaction to the cold water. Mingi shakes his head above you to force droplets onto your bare skin, laughing loudly when you yell in protest. Things feel so extraordinarily regular, it’s as if you have transported back ten years in time. Even when Mingi gets down on his towel and leans over to kiss you, it still feels so normal. It just feels so right with Mingi, like this is what you’re meant to be doing.

Mingis's mouth is cold and wet from his dip in the water, and his hair continues to drip onto your face, but you find it hard to care when he wraps you up in a long, passionate kiss. He’s on his stomach on his towel now, as close to you as he can get. Your heart beats with a discernible nervosity at the fact that you are laid out in the open with Mingi making out with you. There would be quite a walk for anyone else to get here, and you would probably be able to hear branches breaking or even a car parking way before anyone could walk upon the scene and spot the two of you. The risk of getting caught here is low, but you still feel like you’re on display.

Mingis cold fingers wrap around your jaw where he keeps you firmly as his tongue enters your mouth. The kissing goes to your head very quickly, dulling all your senses as all your thoughts are replaced by what Mingi is doing with his mouth. He knows you so well that he pulls away seconds before you lose your breath, letting you regain it while he kisses the corner of your mouth softly. His hand trails over your chest and down your stomach carefully, feeling the way your ribcage heaves as your breaths get steadier.

Mingis eyes follow the path of his hand before he abruptly stops by your knee.

”What’s that?” he asks you. You have to crane your neck to see what he’s looking at. Not much remains of it, but there are still faint marks of dirt and grease on the top of your knees. Just on the outside of your leg, there’s an unmistakable fingerprint.

”Oh,” you mumble. Mingi detaches himself from you with a quickness that makes you lose your breath, and you scramble to get up too.

”I don’t- I feel like I don’t even need to ask who left that on you,” Mingi says.

”It was Yunho,” you rush out, wanting so badly to resolve this before Mingis thoughts spin and twist so bad that you can’t untangle them. It’s clear from the look on his face that your words and their haste only have the opposite effect.

”Yunho?” he questions, getting quieter.

”It’s not all what you think. He called me about that shirt he let me borrow a few weeks ago, remember? I went to his house to give it back and we got to talking. You know, just.. stuff, about life. I ended up getting emotional and he comforted me. I was crying and he put his hands on my knees, that’s all.” You read Mingis's face for any changes, but nothing happens. He only looks at you, taking in your half-truth excuse of an explanation.

”What is it that Yunho can comfort you about, but I can’t?” Mingi asks, his eyes staring into yours with so much intensity you feel like crying. You had expected everything but that. You’d rather Mingi accuse you of getting intimate with Yunho, that you’re lying and it’s a terrible cover story you’re spinning. You could defend yourself from all that, but not this.

”That’s not… Mingi, it’s not like that. I didn’t just choose to go there for comfort. It just happened, I just started crying, and that’s it,” you urge.

Mingis legs are drawn up to his chest and his arms are wrapped around them. He looks so small and vulnerable. His eyebrows are starting to furrow together, and you’re finding it hard to tell if it’s anger or sadness that is starting to show on his face. Both possibilities terrify you equally.

”Why?” he wonders, simply. ”Why did you cry?”

You can physically see the restraints he’s putting on himself to hear you out, to not race away with his worries. You wish it means what you want it to mean. That Mingis vulnerability was an act of love instead of self-preservation. He’s probably sat there worried at the threat of Yunho taking you away and replacing his role. That the fun you’ve had the past weeks, and the year before that, would be over, just like that. You wonder if he views it as a hindrance more than anything. Mingi has finally scored a way to have sex on the regular, without the commitment or worries of starting with someone new. What you have is a lot of comfort, and you suppose he doesn’t want to lose that.

Still, even this feels like a lot more than you deserve of him. If you can’t have Mingi in the ways that you want, you’ll have to do your best to preserve the arrangement you have now.

”It’s not important,” you mumble. You know it’s not a good enough answer.

Mingi lets the word hover in the air for a moment, pondering on whether he should let it go.

In the end, he decides to speak. ”There’s nothing you can tell me that would scare me off. You know that, right?”

”That’s not true,” you whisper, so quiet it’s almost a hiss. ”There is something I can’t ever tell you.”

Tears start to fall down your cheeks and it’s now a conscious effort to keep your sobs contained within your chest. The lake is still breathtaking, the wind is still and the sun is bright in the perfect blue sky. It’s a beautiful day to get your heart broken, at the very least.

Mingi stretches his fingers and you watch the tendons twitch and flex. You’re brought back to what you were doing earlier, shaking off your nerves.

”What if I say it first?” he says. You look up at his eyes.

”What?”

”That I love you,” he tells you. His eyes are big and dark, brimming with tears of his own. ”If I say it first, will you say it too?”

”Mingi-”

”I do love you,” he begins. ”It’s stupid, looking back, because I think I’ve loved you since before you left. I loved you that first night, I already knew it, and I felt so stupid when I woke up the morning after. Doing that with you when I was drunk out of my mind made me feel like shit. And then I felt even more like shit, because- because, it made me realize that it hadn’t been the way I wanted it to be. So I took comfort in the fact that it was over the phone, and I still had time to do it right. To start right, with you, I mean. I wanted our first time to be perfect. I knew I loved you when I kept thinking about it. But then, when you finally came back, it truly clicked. For a while, I had figured that I’d know how I felt about you when we had sex for the first time. But I was wrong because all it took was me seeing you to know that I’m in love with you.”

”Mingi,” you whisper, again, over and over. It’s all you can bring yourself to say, like a prayer, before you crawl over to him and press your lips to his. It doesn’t matter that it takes him a beat to respond, you don’t care at all anymore about how things get awkward or strange. You continue to kiss over his mouth until he’s ready to kiss you back, when time finally catches up to you and it dawns on you both that this is real.

You can’t stop kissing him, breathing out his name every time you part.

”I love you,” you mumble into his mouth. ”I’m so in love with you.”

Mingi smiles into the kiss. Your senses are overwhelmed with the taste of both your tears and the fact that you’re both now smiling and giggling, repeating ’I love you’s until the words merge.

He pulls you into his arms, tumbling over into the grass. He stops kissing you to just look at you, and you watch him too. Your Mingi, in the grass by the lake. Finally, your Mingi.

[chubsonthemoon]

Happy Binderary 2024!! Kicking things off with the fantastic Never understood a single word he said by dear friend @aboxthecolourofheartache. I had the best time beta'ing this for Box and just had to have it on my shelf! More pics and process info under the cut:

had an absolute blast packing as many easter eggs as I could into this one! it's a roadtrip gone wrong fic heh, so I went for a scrapbook/collage cover made of the same kraft paper I usually use for paperbacks, but left the hinge + spine exposed. I tore each piece from a different sheet of scrapbook paper, so the resulting texture is really fun:

I also went to town with references to some of the events in the story, particularly on the back of the cover. the postcard is probably my favorite element; here are my few first practice runs on scratch paper (along with some of my colored pencil testings for the markings on the map) before I went for it on the real cover!

I repurposed the ribbon graphics I originally drew for another bind (@feralrookie's right where I should be ❤️). the music notes on the first page notate the rhythm of the opening lines of the song the fic is based on, Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World," which I had on loop while I was typesetting this! ("Jeremiah was a bullfrog/Was a good friend of mine.") Box's taste in trigun-themed country and blues is impeccable, and I have a whole spotify playlist made almost entirely of her recs ehe :3

the blank/empty ribbon appears between chapter 1 and the epilogue for story reasons ehe; really wanted to convey the feeling of "where did the music go?", because I also listened to American Pie a lot while making this lolol.

also added little camera graphic at the end, which reminded me of meryl's occupation as a journalist, but the hands/lack of a face holding the camera also gives me the uncanny feeling of being watched/photographed (also plot relevant heh). camera graphic and the house graphic at the beginning are both sourced from Heritage Type's free vintage illustrations, from a series of packs called "Hands Holding Stuff."

the hand holding the house on the title page gave me wolfwood's confessional-on-the-go vibes, BUT it was originally held straight like this:

so I decided to tilt it to give it more of that feeling of instability and "oh shit my entire world is being turned upside down rn god the exits WHERE ARE THE EXITS (there are no exits)" feeling present in the fic :D so I guess it's more of a knives reference?? still, the kind of "what is even going on here?" reaction I had when I first saw it fits well with the title, so I went with it!

and that's it for now!! I'll be out of town for the next week or so, but I have a bunch more projects I'm really excited to share this month, along with some long-overdue author copies that I'm excited to get mailed to their rightful homes!

finally, thank you SO much for letting me bind your work, Box!!! it's always such a pleasure <333

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: To Mark.

A Grab-Bag Commission For The Very Lovely @ohsotearful.

Pairing: Yandere!Wanderer x Reader (Genshin).

Word Count: 1.0k.

TW: Biting/Marking, Set Before Wanderer Regains His Memories, Unhealthy Relationships, and Slight Manipulation.

You’d almost gotten used to the feeling of your husband’s teeth sinking into your shoulder.

A sharp sting, a tight stretch, then finally, the burning relief of his dull canines drawing back and warm blood washing over your skin. His chest was pressed against yours, your legs tangled loosely around his waist, but the closeness brought little comfort when his skin seemed to sap the heat from your own and his hands were wrapped so tightly around your hips. There’d be bruises tomorrow – pinpricks of discolored skin that he’d want to strip bare and examine as soon as they were visible, but you tried not to think about that. His little fixation was one of the more unfortunate parts of your relationship, and you did your best to keep it out of your mind whenever you could.

This, unfortunately, was not one of those times. He found a new spot – the tender junction between your throat and your shoulder – and latched on. Rather than pierce, he chose to suckle, catching your skin between the flat edges of his teeth and sucking gently until his chosen patch was irritated and reddened, until he could be sure there’d be a mark to match the collection he’d already painted across your collarbones, up the curve of your throat, at each corner of your jaw. Most of them were fresh, others older, allowed to fade before your husband remembered to revisit them. None would be allowed to disappear completely, and if they managed the impossible, he’d be sure to lay you down and spend the better half of a day making up for his negligence. Your husband had always been attentive, like that.

His teeth sunk into your jugular and you shrunk into him, an airy whimper escaping your sealed lips. Immediately, he detached from you, raising his head and bringing his stare up to meet your own. You’d never been able to say ‘no’ to him, not when he looked at you with those big, pleading eyes. “Did I…” A slight pause, his tongue darting out to swipe a dot of your blood off his bottom lip. “Did I hurt you?”

Obviously. You had to remind yourself that he wasn’t like you, that pain wasn’t something he had experience with. His porcelain skin would never bruise, and in as much time as you’d spent together, you’d never seen him bleeding or burnt. You had to be empathetic. You had to be patient.

Unfortunately, patience wasn’t a skill both of you saw the value of. When you failed to answer immediately, he took your silence as affirmation and frowned, leaning towards you. “I’m sorry.” It was a familiar apology, but no less sincere than it’d been the first half-dozen times he’d used it. Hesitantly, he brought a hand up to your forehead before remembering that the gesture was meant for a different type of pain and letting it fall back to your waist. “Is it bad? I can get the bandages, if you need them. Or, there’s a pharmacy on the other side of the city—”

“I’m fine, I swear.” You forced out an airy laugh, letting your lips brush against his cheek, then the corner of his mouth. It wasn’t a lie. You’d be nearly too sore to move in the morning, but for now, you were fine. “But, I think it might be time to stop. I don’t want the innkeeper to think that you, I don’t know, mauled me in my sleep or something.”

Immediately, his expression turned from worried to panicky. “But we just started,” he whined, his tone childish, desperate. You hadn’t – you’d been in his lap of just over an hour, now – but he’d always been prone to losing track of time. “I’ll be gentle, and.. and I can move to your chest, if you don’t want anyone to see! I don’t have to—”

“My love,” you cut in, sighing as you cupped his face in your hands. Reflexively, he nuzzled into your palm, melting into your affection far easier than you’d ever be able to melt into his. “I hate having to stop as much as you do, but I’m tired. I might not be hurt now, but I will be if we keep going for any longer.” You smiled, bringing him close enough to kiss properly. It was shallow, fleeting, but you could taste metal on his lips. You tried not to feel sick. “I want to get some sleep. I promise, you can dig your teeth into whatever you—”

It was his turn to interrupt you, this time, his request more simple than yours. "Just a little more?" And then, when your smile wavered, “Please?”

You started to sigh, to shake your head, but against your better judgement, you met those awful, saccharine eyes and…

And, it was over in an instant.

“Fine,” you muttered, dread and self-loathing already welling up in the back of your throat. “Just a few more minutes, the—"

He didn’t wait for you to finish. Your body was wretched away from his in a moment, thrown onto the downy futon below you in another. He was buried between your legs and attacking the vulnerable flesh between your thighs before you could so much as think about asking him to try to hold himself back. His teeth sunk into your flesh, but you didn’t scream, didn’t whimper.

You just let your head roll back, shut your eyes, and tried to pretend you didn’t feel a thing.

[1for5]

yes im changing

paige bueckers x reader

(paige x uconn psychology student!reader)

synopsis: with y/n being in a new environment, still facing rejection, how can she bounce back?

masterlist

chapter 5

the previous week was hell for y/n. she got to finish interviewing all the members part of the men’s and women’s basketball team. she plans on having study sessions with the team members starting next week. aubrey has been noticing dark circle’s under y/n’s eyes, and she’s growing concered.

it was a saturday night, and aubrey was going out to hang with the team, when she went out of here room, she saw y/n locked in with her research. she saw a glimpse of the introduction.

university of connecticut, in short uconn, is known for many achievements in their curriculars, and especially in basketball. according to previous research, many have grown fond of basketball due to university of connecticut, with many championship titles being brought to their home at storrs.

basketball in uconn is more popular than ever. with this, the researcher aims to see the difference of the resilience of these student athletes from the basketball teams of uconn. according to..

“girl thats dope, but you have been reviewing this introduction for the longest time. you need a break, your eyebags are telling you to do so.” aubrey said. “i just want a good grade.. so im eligible to transfer to stanford.” y/n replies nonchalantly.

“that is true, but you need to loosen up for now y/n. you have done a lot. im hanging out with the team today, you should really come so i wouldn’t have to worry about my teammate finishing cans of red bull. thats bad for you!” aubrey proposes. “i dont think i can..” y/n declines.

“im not taking no for an answer, so come into your room and put nice clothes on. i can wait for you” aubrey drags y/n out of her chair and brings her to the girl’s room.

“fine”

after 30 minutes, the roommates finally arrived to the destination: a steakhouse. it’s tradition for the team to eat at their favorite steakhouse at every start of the school year. the team may bring their friends and significant others to this gathering, but they all keep in mind to keep this gathering not too big and still quite intimate.

“hi y/n!!!” the team greets her, aubrey signaling her to sit beside nika and her. nika turned to y/n, and asked more personal questions about her life. they only got to talk during the interviews, and nika was genuinely willing to be friends with y/n.

they got more comfortable with each other, they found out they both liked rock climbing, building legos, and had mystery movies as their comfort movies.

while talking, one member of the team, kk, got curious. “so.. what’s the deal between aubrey and y/n? we didn’t know that y/n would be here, but don’t worry boo we’re all glad you’re here” kk asked.

everyone except for one

“oh nooo. y/n and i arent like that. yeah we’re roommates and we got close to each other but she’s not my type, don’t even know if she’s for the girls! i brought her here since she’s been too deep into her research. she needs to eez down” aubrey declined the allegation, y/n agreeing to her.

“only answer this if your comfortable with it but.. are you for the girls?” kk’s curiousity got stronger. “oh no its fine kk! yeah i am gay, just dont have a label. but i have never had a girlfriend before” y/n answered with a smile.

“OOOOH!” kk and the others exclaimed. “so what are you looking for in a partner? we could hook you up!” ice asked.

“i want my personal athletic or active, i dont know, they just have that aura. i also want my person to be quite smart.. i dont know guys its just attractive to me! and i hope theyre love language is words of affirmation. im a sucker for that” y/n shamefully answers.

“you know y/n, maybe your just talking about me” kk teased. “NOOOO”s and “EEEWWW”s were said after that, laughter all around.

after a wonderful night and dinner, it was time to head to an open basketball court. the uconn team loves to hoop after a good night out. its their only time to really have fun with their sport, no rules or anything. the steakhouse was just walking distance to the court, hence the team leaving their cars first at the parking area.

as they go into the court, y/n was smiling with the rest of the team, until she sees paige. paige gave her an eye roll, which made y/n feel quite annoyed and uncomfortable.

the rest of the team wanted to see y/n play, so she did, she was against paige, qadence, nika, and ice. y/n was having fun, but whenever she makes in contact with the ball and paige was beside her, paige kept on nudging her and slightly hitting her. paige was rough, which was not usual for her especially when they were just playing for fun.

the others felt paige’s competitiveness, and it didn’t feel right. kk calmed paige down. “paige whats your problem? she doesn’t play. that was foul” kk asked. paige just scoffed and ignored kk. kk was for sure that paige was hiding something, and she would have to ask next time when paige is more open to talk about it.

the team decided to call it a day. while they were walking back to the parking area, paige was dribbling a basketball, and started to throw it up— which led to another “accident.”

the ball goes forward and hits y/n again, but this time it was on her shoulder. y/n looked back to see who threw the ball, only to see that it was the blonde once again.

“what the fuck is your problem?”

[spnjediavenger]

It Won't Last Forever (Chapter 1)

Title: It Won’t Last Forever (Chapter 1)

Type: multi-chapter; father!Hotch x teen!daughter!reader, some bau x teen!reader (platonic!)

Warnings: canon-typical Criminal Minds sadness and/or violence, blood, light injury description

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic attack description, flashbacks, alludes to PTSD, family death

Spoilers: S5 SPOILERS

Notes: I changed the end of the episode a bit. Sorrynotsorry.

The panic attack and PTSD description is a mix of my own experience and some I read online - this is not how ALL panic attacks and PTSD are experienced.

Y/n/n is a general nickname, N/n is going to be a nickname only Spencer uses for Y/n

Information creds at the end; I took some info verbatim to use in some of Spencer’s info dumps

As always, love and/or constructive/friendly criticism is welcome and encouraged!

Word count: 3,169

“Sometimes the loudest cries for help are silent.” Harlan Coben

The scene the team walked into wasn’t quite what they expected it would be. Hell, it wasn't what Hotch expected it would be. Not in the end anyway. He expected the blood on the floor. Even on the walls. But he thought he would walk in and find Foyet and be part of the final fight. What he didn’t expect was to find his daughter slightly beaten standing in the bedroom with a gun in her hands and Foyet dead on the floor - a bullet hole dead center in his forehead. 

Hotch quickly went to check that Jack was ok and send him out of the house with JJ before coming back to see his daughter. 

Y//n heard his movement and spun on her heel, gun pointed at him, eyes wild and body shaking.

“Y/n, honey, it’s me. It’s dad,” he said, holding his hands up in a calming manner. 

“Daddy?” she whispered shakily, body still trembling. 

“That’s right, sweetheart. It’s ok now. I need you to drop the gun, honey.” Hotch had tears running down his face from grief and he couldn’t hide that right now. But he also needed to talk Y/n down, who was clearly in shock. 

The girl’s eyes flicked down to the weapon in her hands and she began to shake more. She looked back up at her dad. “I worked the case, too. I… I had to… I couldn’t let him hurt Jack too…” she trailed off as she turned her head to the ground and saw her mother’s lifeless body laying there. 

“I know, honey. It’s ok. But I need you to drop the gun now, ok? It’s all over.”

She looked down at the gun again, to Foyet’s body, then her dad and finally dropped the gun. Hotch was quick to kick it away and pull his daughter into his arms, glad she was safe. Her arms stayed at her sides and she stared straight ahead into the hallway. Hotch pulled back and tried to look into her eyes but they were devoid of anything. He called Morgan back into the room and asked him to take Y/n outside to have her looked at and informed him that she was in shock. Hotch walked over to Haley’s body and Morgan put an arm around Y/n’s shoulders to lead her to the ambulance outside. 

Each member of the team watched her, ready to offer comfort and condolences but Y/n just stared empty ahead. They looked at each other, concerned, but chalked it up to her being in shock. Some might think this day would be the eye of the storm. But the storm was just getting started. 

Hotch did his best to be there for his kids through losing Haley while not neglecting his own feelings and need to cope. Jack was so young that he didn’t fully understand what was going on; Y/n, though, should have been showing signs of coping. Or even just feeling. But she didn’t. For a teenager who just lost her mother, she was surprisingly calm. Hotch hadn’t seen her cry once since her death. And frankly, he was concerned. He tried approaching her and getting her to talk but she just kept telling him she was fine. She put on a happier façade around Jack but Hotch could see right through it. The rest of his team, when they would visit, noticed too. They were all worried. 

One Saturday, Hotch had to go into work. Jack was over at a friend’s house and would be sleeping over so that would leave Y/n by herself. 

He stopped by her room and tapped his knuckles on her door. A very quiet ‘come in’ sounded and he opened the door to find the girl sitting in the window seat staring outside, arms hugging her knees to her chest. 

“Hey, sweetheart. The team and I have to go into work. Do you want to come with me? Say hi to everyone? They all miss you. Might be a good idea to get out of the house for a bit with Jack at his friend’s,” he suggested.

Y/n let out a sigh through her nose and reluctantly nodded. She grabbed a hoodie and her mini backpack. Hotch held an arm out and she let him wrap it around her shoulders and lead her to the car. 

The ride to the BAU was quiet and uncomfortable. Well, it was uncomfortable for Hotch anyway. He spared glances at Y/n as she stared blankly out the window as they drove, no emotion to her features. 

As they entered the bullpen, all eyes looked up and smiles appeared on everyone’s faces. 

“Heeey! What’s happening Y/n/n?” Morgan said, getting up and opening his arms for a hug. Y/n returned the hug to a bare minimum and remained quiet. 

“Hey, how’s it going Y/n?” Emily was next, rocking her a bit as they hugged. The girl shrugged and let Spencer hug her next. 

“I think I found the perfect book for you to read next,” he said. Y/n forced a half smile and nodded. 

JJ came up next but decided against saying anything, noticing her reactions, or rather, lack thereof. 

“Oh my goodness gracious did I hear that baby Hotchner is here?!” Penelope’s voice rang through the room. She ran over and practically crushed Y/n in her arms. “Why did no one tell me our favorite Hotchner was coming?! Oh uh, no offense, sir,” she added, looking at her boss. 

He gave a small, humored smile. “Non taken.”

Penelope looked back to Y/n and frowned. “Oh my sweetness. What’s going on? Talk to Auntie Penny.”

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, then turned to her dad. “I’m gonna go to your office.”

“Alright, sweetheart.”

The team watched as she ascended the stairs, accepting a hug from Rossi as he came out of his own office, and shut herself in her dad’s. 

Morgan looked over to Hotch as Rossi came down. “She still isn’t saying anything?”

Hotch shook his head. 

“Have you tried taking her to therapy?” Rossi asked.

“She won’t even talk to me, Dave. Why would she talk to a stranger?”

“Because it’s not you. You should know that sometimes it’s hardest to open up to those you’re closest to.”

Hotch sighed. “I don’t think she’d take to the idea. She won’t even admit to anything being wrong.”

“Could she still be in shock?” Morgan offered.

“This far away from the trauma? It’s been a couple weeks - is that common?” JJ asked. 

“Typically, emotional shock lasts for minutes to days, but can last for weeks to months depending on the severity of the trauma. And considering there are multiple sources of trauma for Y/n that her mind is pulling from it’s actually not surprising that she’s still experiencing symptoms,” Reid came in with an info dump. 

“As much as I’m worried about Y/n, I’d like to get this case out of the way,” Hotch said, trying to change the subject. The others nodded slightly solemnly and got to work. 

A few hours into the visit, Y/n left her dad’s office to grab a snack. She passed the round table room and heard snippets of the team talking. 

“He may have the same mask but this man is nothing like Foyet.”

Y/n froze and almost tripped over her feet. Her breath caught in her throat and she shook her head to try and clear it. 

The movement caught Morgan’s attention and he tapped Hotch to stop his mention of Foyet. 

“You ok, kid?” Morgan called out to her. 

Snapping out of her thoughts, Y/n nodded. “Yeah, fine,” she said, and continued walking. The team shared looks but continued their work. 

Y/n bounced down the steps to the break room. She grabbed a glass from the counter and filled it with water and went to get a snack from one of the cabinets but the door was stuck. She groaned and gave a harder tug. With a bit too much momentum, the door flew open and the corner caught her under her eye. She gasped and dropped the glass, causing it to shatter on the ground. This caught the team’s attention from upstairs. 

The sting under her eye sent her back two weeks and suddenly Foyet was in front of her. 

“You weren’t the one I was figuring on fighting. But I’ll take it,” he smirked, punching her again. She fell to the ground, hands getting cut on the glass under her. But she didn’t notice. 

She kicked his knee, sending him to the ground with her. He grabbed his leg and she had the chance to get up. 

“Y/n.” That wasn’t Foyet’s voice. 

She grabbed the gun that had fallen out of her hands and pointed it at Foyet. He grabbed her legs and pulled them from under her. She gasped as her head hit the ground. 

Hotch tried grabbing Y/n’s flailing limbs to keep her from injuring herself further. He was trying to get through to her and get her to open her eyes but it was like she didn’t hear him. 

Y/n kicked her legs at him and landed one in the face. She took the moment to stand once more and shoot him square in the forehead. 

“Y/n!”

Y/n sucked in a deep breath as her eyes opened and she saw her father in front of her, his familiar grip on her wrists. 

“Daddy?” she whispered. Her body was shaking. 

Hotch swallowed the sob his body wanted to release at the familiarity of these events. “That’s right, sweetheart. It’s ok now.”

Y/n glanced around the room to remind herself where she was and saw blood on the ground. 

Haley’s body lay on the floor, blood seeping through her clothes from multiple gunshot wounds. She let out a broken gasp and moved away.

She jerked and tried to back away but Hotch kept his grip on her. She began hyperventilating. 

“Y/n, honey, everything is fine. That’s your blood, you cut your hands. You’re at the BAU.” He tried to keep his tone light but he was desperate to help his little girl. He didn’t know what to do.

“Hotch, maybe let me try?” Spencer spoke up. 

“She’s my daughter,” he defended. 

“Aaron, she needs someone who’s level-headed right now,” Rossi said. “Let the kid help.”

Hotch gave Spencer an apologetic look and nodded. Spencer hobbled over and carefully knelt down to Y/n’s level. 

“N/n, it’s Spencer,” he said gently. “I need you to look at me; can you do that, sweetheart?”

Y/n’s ears picked up on ‘N/n.’ Only one person ever called her that. Her wild eyes looked around until they landed on the youngest member of the BAU team. 

“Spencer,” she gasped, still hyperventilating. 

He smiled a bit. “That’s it. I need you to try and breathe for me ok? You’re having a panic attack. Can I help you move away from the glass?”

The girl nodded and Spencer guided her away and into a chair that Rossi had pulled out for her.

“Good job. Now, follow my breathing ok? Breath in for four, hold for four, let out for four.”

The girl nodded but as soon as she tried to take a deep breath, a sob came out making her practically choke on it. Hotch held a hand over his mouth and turned away, unable to stand seeing his daughter like this. 

Spencer rubbed Y/n’s back soothingly as she coughed. 

“Alright, that’s ok. Put your head between your knees instead. Putting your head below your heart will increase blood circulation to your brain and keep you from getting dizzy or passing-“

“Reid,” Morgan interrupted him, afraid his info dump would make things worse. 

“No,” Y/n whimpered. “Keep talking.” Listening to Reid talk was actually helping and giving her something else to focus on.

The boy nodded and kept guiding her actions as he continued talking, keeping a gentle tone instead of the usual teacher-like one his info dumps typically sported. “Morgan, grab some ice,” he said over his shoulder then turned back to Y/n. “Panic attacks are common for a number of psychological illnesses and can be connected to trauma. There are different types of attacks and I’m assuming this is situational-induced attack; these occur as a response to something specific and expected. They can happen in anticipation of a trigger or immediately after exposure to it. Triggers from traumatic events are quite common. Thanks, Morgan. Here, hold this. One way to stop panic attacks, especially when steadying your breathing is difficult, is to stimulate the senses. This works to interrupt the automatic reactions to the panic attack to snap the body out of the symptoms. Smelling something strong or holding ice are common methods and usually the most helpful. And one of the most important things to remember,” he added as he saw she finally began to relax, “is that while panic attacks may feel like they are never-ending, they usually peak within 10 minutes. It won’t last forever.”

“It won’t last forever,” she whispered after him. 

Spencer nodded and pushed some hair out of her face when she looked up. “It won’t last forever. You did great, N/n.”

The girl gave a small smile. It was the first real one Hotch had seen since before Haley died. He let out a relieved sigh and Rossi squeezed his shoulder. 

Spencer glanced at Hotch and looked back at Y/n. “Can you let your dad clean your hands and eye up, Y/n? Those need to be taken care of.”

The girl nodded and Spencer smiled and kissed her head as he stood to walk away. Hotch put a hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. A silent ‘thank you.’ Spencer patted Hotch’s shoulder and left the room. 

Y/n’s eyes drooped a bit as tiredness overtook her. The panic attack had drained a lot of her energy. Hotch let her sit in silence as he tended to her wounds, not missing the flinch when he first touched her eye. But he wouldn’t bring it up now. He now knew he couldn’t wait for her to be comfortable talking but he would at least wait until she had more energy.

After wrapping her hands and cleaning her eye, Hotch took Y/n home. The team was just about done for the day anyway and the others told him that Y/n was his main priority right now. He thanked them and left.

It was around dinner time when they arrived home so Hotch suggested Y/n get changed into some comfy clothes and take a nap while he ordered takeout. She wordlessly nodded and went to her room. Hotch sighed and grabbed his phone to get working on dinner.

When the food came, Hotch and Y/n ate in silence save for the TV in the background. Y/n seemed to be a little less tired but Hotch could tell she had a lot of things running through her mind. 

Once they finished eating and the dishes were taken care of, Hotch approached Y/n before she could retreat to her room.

“Honey? Can we talk please?”

Y/n looked at her father and saw hope in his eyes. But almost in a pleading way. She weighed her options in her head but soon gave a resigned sigh and nodded. She took her dad’s outstretched hand and let him lead her to the couch. Y/n hugged her legs to her chest and Hotch brought a leg up so he could face her.

“Y/n…you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to…I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But sweetheart, you have to let something out. Anything. I was going to let things go until you weren’t in shock but after today I don’t feel comfortable considering that luxury anymore. We’ve all been through a lot and you’re no exception. Keeping things bottled up isn’t healthy. As much as I hate to see you upset, it’s worried me that you haven’t cried once. Please just tell me something, honey. No one can help you if you don’t let us in.”

As Hotch talked, Y/n could feel the slightest sting begin behind her eyes. In all honesty - she was worried about her lack of emotion too. But she didn’t have it in her to say anything about it. It took too much energy.

She let out another sigh and looked down at her hands. “I haven’t said anything the past two weeks because I haven’t felt anything the past two weeks,” she said quietly. “It’s like my mind was a void. I put on a happy face for Jack because I know he needs me. But the rest of the time I just couldn’t be bothered. But today…”

Hotch watched her as her voice drifted off. “What happened today?” he asked gently.

Y/n took a shaky breath. “I heard someone say his name and I froze. I don’t know why. But I couldn’t move for a second. Then in the break room the stupid cabinet was stuck then it hit my eye when I tried jerking it open and all of a sudden I was back there. He was in front of me. It was like I was living it all over again.” At this point, her voice started shaking and tears were glossing over her eyes. “He had punched me when I threatened him and that’s what I think brought it on. It was in the same place the door hit. I could hear you calling my name sometimes but it sounded far away. But I saw everything again and I…I felt. I think it happened too fast the first time and my brain couldn’t catch up, b-but this time…this time it could.” She turned her red eyes up to her father’s, which were also beginning to redden. “I-I shot him, dad. I killed someone. And mom-” a cry escaped her lips and Hotch wasted no time in pulling her into his arms.

Ugly sobs forced their way out of Y/n’s lips as she clung to her father for dear life. Her fingers dug into his shoulders but right now he couldn’t care less.

“I couldn’t save her, daddy! I tried!”

Hotch started crying harder at seeing Y/n breaking down. “I know- I know you did, sweetheart. It’s ok. It wasn’t your job to. It’s not your fault.”

Y/n buried her face into his shoulder, soaking his shirt with tears and snot. They both wrapped their arms around each other tighter and cried. Hotch held her head with one hand while the other remained on her back, rubbing up and down. 

Nothing else was said. Right now, nothing else needed to be said. The Hotchner family had each other’s backs. They had a long road ahead of them, but they would get through it. Together.

Misty Copeland once said: “Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”

(Chapter 2) ->

Creds: how-to-stop-a-panic-attack-5202930

anxiety-101-how-stop-panic-attacks-their-tracks

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Plus Baby Makes Three {One-Shot}**

Title: Plus Baby Makes Three {One-Shot} **

Lewis Hamilton x GF Reader

Words: 5.8k

Warning: Mild Angst, Fluff, Fun & Games, NSFW, Mild Breeding Kink, Preggo talk, Preggo Prank, Preggo Fic, Crude Language, Dirty Talk

Summary: It was supposed to be a retaliation prank. A simple, easy prank to get back at Lewis for the one he’d pulled on you months before. You didn’t expect it to turn out like this.

As always, thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Your entire relationship with Lewis had been a never-ending frat party. You enjoyed the same pastimes, including video games, nature, traveling, and pranks.

Hell, your relationship had started on a prank you'd done to your friends pretending to be in the middle of getting it in when they walked in. Everyone's reactions were the same "finally". You both were speechless as they all confessed they knew it was a matter of time before you saw the sparks and finally did something about it.

After admitting it was all a prank you were alone later that night when your first kiss happened. That torpedoed into your first night together. Hence beginning a beautiful, fun, and stress-free relationship

Now 3 years later, things were still going strong. You pranked each other often, a few of those pranks playing out through social media.

Everyone loved your relationship even the diehard Lewis thirsters who wanted him for themselves. They saw how happy he was with you and how unproblematic you were and fell in line to support you.

It had been a while since you pranked him and you could tell he'd lowered his guard. You’d spent weeks laying the groundwork. Weeks dropping hints and playing up faux symptoms and your period symptoms just to make this an easy sell.

You decided this would be a perfect thing to record so set up your filming equipment that you used for your gaming streams and makeup vlogs then got yourself ready.

"You are evil for this."

Snorting, you dropped onto your back and cackled.

"It’s not that bad."

"Not that bad? Y/N he is going to flip. I just don’t know what, a table or himself."

You laughed some more. Your best friend, Zoe was right. It was really 50/50 how this would go. You suspected it would be on the flipping-a-table side though. You hesitated momentarily, wondering if you should reformulate and try again. However, within seconds you committed.

You attached the ultrasound picture that you'd gotten from a lesser-known pregnancy website and edited with an arrow pointing to the blip of an embryo. You’d inserted a few words onto the picture.

"Little Hamilton says hello and can’t wait to meet you guys".

After scanning the picture again for typos and to make sure it all looked good, you started on your caption.

"What are you going to write?"

"Short and sweet right? Anything extra will be suspicious. Let's see. Ummm...ooh I know."

You began and read it aloud as you typed.

"I wanted you guys to find out at the same time as @lewishamilton. Omgg guys 🥺. I am so excited.🤗 Thank you @lewishamilton for this incredible gift. I love you more than words can say and am so happy and honored to be on this journey with you. Can't wait to meet you baby Hamilton. You are already loved so much.❤️🤰🏽👶🏽🍼 #babyhamilton2024 #surprisewerepregnant #bunintheoven

#babybyhamilton

#heshotupmyclub

#sunsoutbutthisbunisstillcooking #filledwithlove #coming2024

"Oh my god. The world is going to lose their shit," Zoe said.

"The world? He's gonna lose his shit. And---posted."

You turned your notification sound all the way up then placed your phone beside you and picked up the TV remote.

"Ready? Let’s see how far we get."

You pressed play on the movie you guys had selected on Prime and settled in. Before the movie had even gotten past the black screen, your notifications went blaring one after the other at rapid fire.

"Holy shit, your bestie squealed.

By the time the opening credits showed up, your phone began chiming with texts.

"Oh my god, barely 2 minutes. Is it Lewis?"

You looked while being very careful not to go into the messages. You wanted to play this very calm, cool, and collected. Sure enough, there was Lewis' name with the circled number indicating how many unread messages remained, increasing with each second.

"Oh my god. He is flipping out I bet."

You put it down and cackled. It was no use playing the movie because with the rapid-fire sounds from your phone, it would be impossible to pay attention. You didn’t click into Lewis' messages and instead read what showed up in the preview.

MSG Lewis: Why aren’t you answering your texts? Baby? You just posted that no way you walked away from your phone. Are you okay?

You snorted then went into IG to look at your post. It already was well into the hundred thousands of likes. The 4th comment, Lewis', had you pinching your lips.

"@y/nthaunicorn what?! This isn’t the kind of thing you post on social before telling me.

You giggled and continued reading the comments replying to him with congratulations and you’re going to be an amazing dad. The number of #mercedesbaby and #babygoatcoming hashtags only made you roll more.

The man was going to learn today that his last prank was too far. He'd canceled your appointment with your OBGYN and had one of your friends pretend to be you to make your appointment as a pre-pregnancy appointment with the intention to conceive.

Lo' and behold, when you’d gone to the appointment you were confused why your doctor was going over your estrogen and progesterone levels and checking the placement of your uterus. When she mentioned that you were in good health and should have no problems conceiving, you nearly passed out.

You tried to tell her you had no intentions of planning a pregnancy but she took it as you getting cold feet to which she then spent a lot of time trying to soothe your “fears”. When you went home with prenatal vitamins and a calendar on your best days for conception Lewis played along saying he was on board if you really wanted a baby.

He was so supportive about it that he freaked you out. He kept the ruse going so long that while you made love that night his whole dirty talk was about putting a baby in you. It was a slight turn on which shocked you because babies weren’t a topic you'd spent a lot of time talking about. For the most part, it took you off guard.

The following morning over breakfast was when he came clean. The way he cackled and ran around the house clearly pleased with himself was so over the top that you silently vowed revenge. You would make him rue the day.

Today was his retribution.

Your phone rang and Lewis' name appeared on your screen. You chortled and stared at the camera as it rang out. The man it feels good to be a gangster sound played in your head while your face evilly smirked. Seconds later, a message from him came in.

MSG Lewis: Why aren’t you answering your phone?

MSG Lewis: Are you okay?

MSG Lewis: Is this real? Are you being for real?

MSG Lewis: Did your IG get hacked?

MSG Lewis: Y/N!

Another call came in and again it was him. Zoe laughed loudly as she wiggled her legs in the air.

"He is losing his shit!”

MSG Lewis: Y/N. Jesus Christ. You're killing me. Pick up the phone baby.

You snorted. He was realizing assertiveness was not going to win. Now he was trying sugar.

MSG Lewis: Sweetheart. Are you pregnant? Is that why you've been sick lately?

MSG Lewis: Why you've been feeling so bloated?

MSG Lewis: Your boobs!😮 Oh shit. Why aren’t you answering?🥴

His texts came in one after the other each one more and more panicked. You just sat back and let him make his descent.

Placing another guac and salsa dipped chip into your mouth, you read the previews of his messages.

MSG Lewis: A baby? Our baby. Oh my god.😳

Your phone rang again, and again you let it ring out. A few minutes later, you got the notification of a voicemail. Once you hit play on the message, his voice came in and you and your bestie listened in.

"Y/N, I don’t know why you’re not picking up and it’s freaking me out a little. You know how I feel when I can't reach you, especially after what happened that last time.”

At that, you perked up because he’d nearly had a panic attack the last time he couldn’t reach you and it was because some paps were chasing you in your car nearly making you crash. He’d had to show up at the police station dropping everything. The pause in the message made you get ready to swipe to your phone app, but then he continued.

“I thought about it for a while and figured maybe you’re afraid to talk to me. Maybe you’re scared that I’m going to be angry or disappointed by the news. Maybe you think I’ll tell you to terminate or that I'm not ready. I thought about it and I wish I was there with you right now instead of halfway across the fucking world. Fuck.”

His sighed in a hefty huff.

“I wish I could hug you and hold your hand and tell you while looking into your eyes that it's going to be okay and that I’m not angry. I’m not disappointed.”

Your brows rose. He wasn’t, you questioned.

“I’m surprised, yes. So fucking surprised. I didn’t think this would happen and never really thought about the possibility of it happening which is so stupid because we don't use condoms. Like at all. I’m shooting your club up every day, multiple times a day. Why wouldn’t it be possible?”

You pinched your lips as your friend gave you a look that said she wasn’t surprised how y’all got down. You rubbed your brow to avoid her side-eye. It wasn’t that you were ashamed. You weren’t it was just embarrassing. You took a few sips from your cherry limeade and continued listening.

“Uggh, I’m rambling. I'm not mad and I wish you’d pick up the phone and let me tell you that plus how much I love you and want this."

A spray of cherry limeade shot from your mouth through the air, "What!!”

You bolted up in shock with wide eyes and a racing heart.

"A baby. Our baby. A piece of you and me. We didn't plan this, but we've been given this soul for a reason, and I am going to welcome and love them with everything I have. I’m going to be there 100 percent. You’re not in this alone, you have me. Call me, please. I love you so much."

Your eyes were wide. Had you heard him right? Was he actually happy about this? Your head snapped to your friend who was also wide-eyed.

“Well shit, plot twist!”

“Was he--.”

“Happy? Yep.”

“Did he say--.”

“He wanted this? Oh yeah.”

You went over the message in your head again.

“Was he--.”

“The sweetest and cutest about it? Yes. Oh my god, Y/N.”

You played the message again and listened to it in its entirety. You didn’t stop at once, or twice. You listened over 5 times but each time you were still flabbergasted by his words.

“Oh my god.”

“Well look on the bright side—he’d never be one of those asshole deadbeat celebs trying to make their girl get rid of a baby they helped create.”

“Why does he want this? Why isn’t he mad? We haven’t really talked about kids. This is so out the blue?”

“You want him to be mad?”

You paused and thought about it. Any other answer besides no was ridiculous. This was an ideal reaction if the situation was real. This was how every man should react to an unplanned pregnancy. He was being major goals right now and it made your heart swell with love and pride.

Your notifications went off some more and you checked them to find some of his fellow F1 drivers commenting about the news. They all were sweet and thoughtful, which made you think again about this prank.

“Shit. How do I tell him it was a prank now?”

Zoe laughed loudly. “I suggest starting with apology head then let him shoot your club up for real and voila baby.”

You smacked her across her stomach while kissing your teeth.

“Be for real.”

“I’m being as for real as your man is.”

A text notification came in then.

MSG Lewis: The jet will be landing in a few hours. It’s not planned but come see me this weekend. I really want to be close to you right now.

“Oh my god.”

Your friend laughed again as she teased you about your prank gone completely wrong.

~~~~~~~~

Just as he’d said, Lewis’ jet arrived 4 hours after he’d texted. The call from the pilot came at nearly midnight. You were packed and ready for the weekend with a possible week’s extension, but you were also still debating how you were going to make this right. He thought he was going to be a father and that prospect had him in his feelings. You felt horrible.

MSG Lewis: Did the pilot call?

You’d replied to his text after the message about spending the weekend with him because you knew staying quiet longer would make him more anxious. You were messed up, but you weren’t cruel.

MSG: Yeah. Guess I’ll see you in a few.

MSG Lewis: Don’t be scared. Everything’s going to be all right. I love you.

“Uugh. I’m an asshole,” you said, hanging your head.

The chauffeured car took 40 minutes to get to the airfield and the whole time you tried to come up with a way to easily let him down. If he had been angry you would have been obnoxious with it and laughed in his face, but seeing how sweet he was about it there was no way you could now.

Of course, the flight to Barcelona didn’t take long. The pilot even had the audacity to cut what was a 2-hour and 20-minute flight to just 2 hours flat. The nerve! The whole flight your nerves toiled which made your stomach uneasy. Nothing helped, not ginger ale, 7-up, Sprite, cranberry juice, tea, nor sports drinks. You suspected it was your anxiety manifesting in an upset stomach, so you didn’t stress the flight attendant with helping ease it.

Now it was 3am Barcelona time and you were steadily approaching the penthouse that Lewis was staying in. The closer you got the more nervous you got. When the car began to slow down in front of a cute building with adorable Verona-style balconies you groaned. It was time to face the music. The driver unloaded your bags and helped you inside to the door. As he was about to ring the bell you stopped him and told him you could take it from there.

Once you were alone in front of the door you took a few breaths and tried to get control over your nerves. Before you could ring the bell though, the door opened and there stood Lewis in a white sleeveless T-shirt and grey sweat shorts. Instantly you pouted and waited for him to speak first.

“C’mere,” Lewis said holding open his arms for you.

Without hesitation you rushed into his arms and allowed him to hold you.

“It’s okay,” he whispered as he stepped back into the penthouse taking you with him.

He lifted you off your feet and carried you inside. When he placed you down on a soft couch, he kissed your forehead.

“I’ll be right back.”

Lewis disappeared for a few minutes. You assumed he was bringing in your luggage and rolling them into the bedroom. By the time he came back, you still had no idea what to say. He kneeled in front of you and lifted your chin.

“I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”

Your stomach churned then and you clasped your hands over your mouth while gagging.

“What’s wrong?”

You pointed to your throat, and he got it instantly. Lewis rushed through the halls showing you to the bathroom. Dropping to your knees, you allowed every drink you’d consumed on the flight to empty into the toilet. As you retched Lewis dipped beside you and rubbed your back like the perfectly sweet man he was. It only intensified your “you ain’t shit” feeling and you began crying.

“What? What’s wrong? It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No baby. Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s a baby, a blessing. Not the end of the world.”

You cried more and repeated your sorries. It was all you could get out. You remained on your knees in front of the toilet vomiting with Lewis rubbing your back and whispering soft words to you promising everything would be just fine. After, he got you in the tub and washed your body for you as you relaxed against him. He rubbed every knot out of your muscle, massaged every tension from your scalp, while making your skin gleam and glow.

When he got you in bed he topped it all off with a body massage from head to toe. You didn’t deserve it at all. When you laid on his chest, you tried to find the words.

“Lewis,” you began with a meek voice.

“Princess.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. I don’t know when along the line of our relationship you got the impression that I was some asshole who would be angry about something like that. I’m not,” he assured.

“You’re not an asshole. I’m the asshole.”

Lewis rolled over to peer into your eyes. “What?”

“How? Why?”

“I—I lied,” you quietly finished.

“Lied? About what?”

“The baby.”

You watched worry and fear wash over his face.

“What do you mean?”

“It—it was supposed to be a prank.”

Lewis rushed a breath out then dropped on his back to stare at the ceiling.

“It was supposed to be payback for your last prank on me with my OB appointment. I didn’t expect you to take it like this. I thought you’d be mad and freak out a little. I didn’t think that you—want it.”

He was so quiet and so unreadable right now you worried he was really hurt.

“I’m sorry baby. I feel like shit now. I didn’t mean to--.”

“So you’re not pregnant.”

“No,” you quietly replied.

Lewis scoffed, covered his face. “Wow.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Wow. Wow. Wow. I was really—I truly—jeez.”

He sat up and stared out into the darkness. You didn’t know how to make this better. You could sense his disappointment, sense his hurt that it wasn’t real. You were speechless and so confused about how long he’d been secretly wanting a baby. Right now didn’t feel like the right time to inquire though.

“Okay. You got me.”

You leaned forward to study his face. “That’s it?”

“Yeah. You got me. I really thought you were pregnant, especially with the way you’ve been acting the last few weeks. Ha! Good one.”

“You’re not angry?”

“Angry that you had the balls to prank me like this or angry that you’re not pregnant?”

You thought about it for a quick minute. “Both.”

Even he looked to think about it. “I’m not angry about the prank. I'd been wondering what you’d do to get me back, but I let my guard down. It was a good prank, ballsy, especially putting it on social but it was good,” he explained.

“And the other?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m angry you’re not pregnant. I’m—disappointed. I should be relieved because as you know our lives right now are chaotic. You with your business, me, and F1. Adding a baby in now would be nuts.”

You heard a but. “But?”

Lewis chewed the inside of his mouth for a few moments then he laid back down. “But the longer I sat with it and thought about what it meant the more I wanted it. I wasn’t mad, or freaking out for the most part, I was relieved it was with you.”

Your heart melted. You rolled on top of him and splayed yourself across his chest. “I’m sorry baby.”

Lewis wrapped his arms around you and traced his fingertips up and down your bare spine.

“How do you feel about a baby—our baby?”

You thought about it for a few moments dividing points into pro and con columns in your head.

“I understand what you’re saying. Our lives are hectic right now. You just signed a contract extension with Mercedes which means more racing, more time away from home. My lingerie line has been blowing up and I just opened a second store location. Things will only get more and more hectic.”

“I want us both to be present,” Lewis added.

“Yeah.”

A contemplative silence filled the room. Both of you were lost in your own thoughts.

“Do you want to have a baby with me, though?”

Your head popped up meeting Lewis’ eyes.

“Only you. No one else.”

A smile slowly spread across Lewis’ lips.

“Only you, no one else,” he repeated.

You kissed him gently and that kiss intensified within seconds. Soon your hands were pushing down Lewis’ shorts with urgency needing to get closer. You were already bare for him, but he needed to catch up. Once his shorts were rumpled at the foot of the bed, you straddled his hips and lowered yourself on his ready and waiting member.

Both of you sighed out in unison relishing the pleasure you only found in each other. As you slowly rocked back and forth on him, Lewis’ hands gripped your hips helping you move. Bit by bit he picked up the pace taking full control of the way your body moved. Back and forth, round and round, up and down.

When you began bouncing on him, Lewis abandoned your hips to cup your breasts. His moans filled the room as his eyes drank in every inch of you. In no time, you felt your orgasm creep up on you. Lewis flipped you onto your back, placed your ankle on his shoulder then took over. That was the final push to send you over the edge.

“Fuuuuck!”

“Mmm!”

Lewis brought your other leg to join the first then held you off the bed as he flicked his hips forward with such force the bed jerked giving the craftmanship a run for its money.

“Yes, baby. Right there!”

“Yeah right there? Like this?”

He slowed his moves, then pulled out fully only to slam his hips into you filling you to capacity. Every time he did it you yelped unable to control yourself.

“Like that?”

“Yes!”

“Mmm, I’m going to fill this sweet little pussy up. You’re gonna be so fucking full of me you can’t walk.”

Lewis ground his hips against you making you feel how impossibly deep he was. Instinctively, you pressed against his abs hoping to keep him at bay, however, he wasn’t having it. Lewis dropped your legs, hovered over you then began rocking into you in the most artful way. His body rocked, ebbed, flowed, rolled, and torpedoed you into yet another release.

As you clenched around him, Lewis groaned.

“So fucking tight. You loving this dick baby?”

“Yes, I love your dick baby. Fuck me.”

“Fuck you’re gonna make me cum, you’re so beautiful when you take this dick.”

You cupped your breasts, holding them out like ripe fruit for him. Lewis dipped down and bit down on your nipple making you wetter than ever.

“Fuuuuuck!”

Lewis lowered his lips to your ear as he fucked into you. “You’d look so fucking pretty with my baby in you. Makes me want to fill this tight cunt up.”

“Fill me, baby. I want your hot cum, I want it now," you whined.

Lewis locked eyes with you just as his hand wrapped around your throat. Rolling your eyes to the back of your head, you let him use you as he wanted.

“You want me to cum deep in this pretty pussy?”

Yes!”

“You’re gonna keep every fucking drop, right where I put it.”

“Fuck Lewis, I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum with me princess.”

His thrusts sped until you were seeing stars and rainbows. It was an impossibility, but it was what you saw. Your moans matched, desires synced and desperation for one another took over. Lewis flicked his hips forward then came so hard and so deep his grunts were all you heard as he released stream after stream. Your body broke out into shivers at the thought of him intentionally trying to knock you up.

Lewis pulled back and dropped his attention between your legs. Slowly he pulled out only to shove himself back inside. It was like he was trying to keep every single drop of himself inside of your body.

“Fuck baby, this pussy looks so good with me dripping out.”

“How good?”

“So good I’m gonna fill you again.”

With that, Lewis crashed his lips to yours and in seconds round two had begun. You felt sorry for him tomorrow because he would be useless with how little sleep he would have gotten. He didn’t seem bothered in the least though. His only thought was fucking you into oblivion until he’d planted a seed.

The next afternoon, you woke alone with a note on Lewis’ pillow.

“See you on the paddock. Love you.”

You sat up and a sea of nausea filled you. Quickly you ran to the bathroom and heaved the contents of your stomach into the toilet. For the life of you, you couldn’t understand what was going on. You’d confessed about the prank you weren’t anxious anymore. Why were you sick? Could it have been jet lag? You’d never experienced nausea with jet lag before and the flight was only 2 hours long. As you went through the possibilities, you continued to heave.

After 20 or so minutes, you got back into bed with your phone and began googling reasons for nausea when first waking. You’d barely put your head on the pillow before the first result popped up. The result had you bolting upward with wide eyes.

“No fucking way.”

You kept scrolling but your mind still lingered on the first result. You thought back over the last weeks to a month trying to debunk it. You’d only made it a few seconds before your eyes widened even more. You swiped open your love tracker and scanned through the last few weeks. There were so many red colored in boxes, that signified every day you’d been intimate, throughout the month you began to panic.

“No way. Right?”

You sprang out of bed and hurried to get dressed. As you did, you tried to find the closest drugstore. In record time you found yourself in the back of the chauffeured car that Lewis had left behind for you to get to the racing grounds. As the car zipped through traffic, your brain was going almost as fast as a Mercedes race car. You were afraid to put your hat in any basket because you just didn't know what was going on.

With your dark sunglasses on and one of Lewis’ bucket hats tipped low, you dipped inside the store and did a once around the store to be sure no one had recognized or noticed you. You then walked in the general vicinity of where those items rested. If you were a NASCAR driver and this was a pit stop, you would have been the fastest back on the track. In less than 5 minutes you were back in the car and headed back to the penthouse.

Soon you sat in the bathroom at the edge of the huge porcelain tub staring at the 14 boxes of pregnancy tests. You couldn't decide on which one, so you bought 2 of every brand, 5 from brands you knew and the other 2 from unheard-of probably local brands. With a large juiced vegetable and fruit blend in hand, you attempted to finish it off. Since you'd returned another bout of nausea hit you that took nearly 30 minutes to pass.

Right now you were stalling. You had to pee so you could easily take them but it was the thought that crippled you. Right now the unknown felt like a comforting place to be. In 10 or so minutes you would either be disappointed or happy. You were in Lewis' shoes in reverse.

You sighed, guzzled the rest of the juice, then slammed it on the sink counter as a wave of determination filled you.

“Okay, Okay, okay. I got this. I got this. I got this!”

You grabbed the disposable mouthwash cup then tackled it head-on. Once you’d finished and ripped open every bod, you dripped the tips into the cup and laid them all out on the counter. You’d told yourself to sit right back on the edge of the tub, but your legs would not obey. So, you paced the room. Back and forth, back, and forth, round and round, corner to corner, wall to wall.

By the time your phone went off indicating time was up, you were perched on the porcelain tub staring out to nothing thinking of everything. You remained there for a minute more trying to control your breathing then you stood and approached the mess of tests on the counter in organized chaos.

Hyping yourself, you took the first up and stared at the window. Your breath hitched and you moved to take another test up. Glancing at it, you were met with the same answer. You sifted through the tests, taking them up, looking at the results, and moving to the next. You checked once, then twice and every single one of them mirrored back one collective and cohesive—positive.

“Plot fucking twist,” you said.

Your phone sounded making you open your messages to see Lewis’ name.

MSG Lewis: Feeling better?

You scoffed. His timing was impeccable. You took another calming breath before you replied.

MSG: Not much but I’m okay.

MSG Lewis: Still throwing up?

MSG: Here and there.

MSG Lewis: You can stay in bed today. I’ll see you after.

MSG: Not a chance. I’ll be there. Wouldn’t want to miss your P1.

MSG Lewis: Don’t push yourself.

MSG: Says the man who only got like an hour of sleep because he kept pushing for round after round.

MSG Lewis: Wasn’t much pushing needed. You know I can go for days.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always cocky; it didn’t matter about what. You stepped back and took a picture of all the tests making sure a few showed the results then you began getting yourself ready.

~~~~~~~

By the time you got to the racing grounds, it was packed. With two of Lewis’ guards flanking your left and right, you walked through saying hello to the drivers, waving at faces you knew, and taking some footage for your socials. You even had some approach you to congratulate you on the pregnancy. It tripped you up for a second because you’d just found out but then you remembered your prank that had gone wrong and was not right back on track. Every time someone came up and said it you couldn’t help but giggle. It was all so ironic.

Once you made it to Mercedes, the crew saw you first. They began clapping and as you approached. When you were close enough many of them patted you on the back as they expressed their happiness over the news.

“Our first Mercedes driver baby. Congratulations.”

“Uh, thank—you.”

You smiled and tipped your head at the others who were smiling from ear to ear. Toto approached with a grin.

“Such great news, Y/N. You and Lewis are going to be amazing parents. You can count on Suzie and me up for babysitting.”

You nervouisly giggled. “I think we’ll hold you to that.”

“Eh-em.”

To the left Lewis approached with his brow crooked.

“There he is, the soon to be dad.”

He looked evidently uncomfortable as he stood beside you.

“About that," Lewis began.

“He’s going to be such an amazing dad,” you said while staring at him.

The two of you stood there staring at one another. You in complete love and adoration of him, and he in utter confusion. Gradually everyone took the hint and went back to what they were doing before you got there.

“What’re—what’re you doing? Shouldn’t you be telling them it was all a prank?”

“Maybe that’s how it started but—we’re past that now.”

“What do you mean?”

You laced your fingers with his then smiled.

“I—I’m pregnant.”

Lewis looked even more confused.

“What? Is this about last night? I’m sure it’s too soon to be--."

You snorted as you rolled your eyes. “Seriously?”

“What? You said it wasn’t real.”

“It wasn’t, not then. Or maybe it was but I didn’t know. You didn’t put a baby in me last night. There was already one in me. I got sick again this morning and that made me look back into some things on my calendars which had me taking 14 pregnancy tests and they are all positive.”

Lewis’s eyes widened.

“What?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I’m pregnant.”

“For real, for real?”

“So for real for real.”

Lewis looked down to your stomach area, then to your face. He smiled before he lifted you into the air. You laughed as he spun you around. Your combined laughter brought the attention of nearly everyone around you.

“Oh my god. We’re having a baby?”

He put you down then peered into your eyes. “Yep.”

He snorted then laughed heartily. “What a fucking plot twist.”

“Right! oh my god.”

The two of you cackled together before he kissed you, not caring who was watching. When his hand cupped your backside you squealed.

“Behave.”

“Not a chance. I can’t believe I put a baby in you.”

“Me neither.”

“Are you happy?”

You smiled and nodded. “Very.”

The way he smiled back at you made your heart swell. You were sure you looked like fools in love giggling with each other like idiots but neither of you cared. Lewis cupped your cheek and then softly caressed your skin.

“You and me.”

You took his other hand and put it on your stomach.

“Plus baby makes three. And with Roscoe--.”

“Makes a home,” Lewis finished.

A stray tear rolled down your cheek, but Lewis’ thumb flicked it away then kissed the spot it once laid.

The news must have been what he needed because a few hours later he stood on that podium claiming that P1. You beamed at him while you tenderly held your nonexistent bump, feeling closer to him than ever before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[elthecreator]

Club Banshee

Ellie Williams x black! Reader

a/n: First fanfic I hope you enjoy it my loves<3. Also if you are not black you can still read it too lmfao. This is just for my black girls. In the future I will do more poc so everyone can feel included. 

I also recommend you listen to the song above as you read this cause 😮‍💨. This shit took me 4 days and 4 nights. The word count is too damn many.

Warnings: SMUT! Very Rough and aggressive sex, Oral, Slight spanking, Mean ellie!, dom ellie, bottom r!, submissive r!, begging, praising "good girl", intense teasing, build up. joel and ellie fluff. r! and ellie fluff WLW.

 

It was one of those nights again. Those nights where you would just so do anything to get some shit off your mind. For ellie it was one of those nights, her and joel had a huge fight earlier. Once again the two fighting because they both loved each other. But tonight.. Ellie said some things she shouldn’t have. She ended up storming out of the house, not really having a ‘plan’ of where to go in that moment. But the guilt was eating her up. No amount of alcohol could get her mind away from their fight. So after about a concerning amount of beers, she stumbles into a strip club. 

“Club Banshee” it was titled in bright purple neon strobe lights, at the top of the building. As soon as she walked in she saw a bunch of people. Although, It was 1 am on a Thursday night so of course there were a bunch of people. Female and Male. 99% of those males are married of course. The creep looking types, type of dudes with a wife and three kids. Not surprised though. A bunch of neon green and purple lights surrounded the area.

 Making Ellie feel even more tipsy.

Girls danced up on the silver poles on the stage. Revealing outfits, heels and the smell of perfume and alcohol mixed. The dudes tipping the girls on the stage. Ellie sat at a bar nearby, unzipping her jacket. She wore a navy dark blue hoodie underneath her grey jacket, and her classic rough fabric jeans. Letting out a frustrated sigh before ordering more beer. While waiting she glanced at the stage.

Sleek bodies dancing scandalously on the stage. Such seductive creatures....it made between her legs start to throb. Trying to ignore her urges her beer finally came. A girl with short maroon fluffy hair and sharp winged eyeliner served her the beer.

"So why are you here tonight?" She asked curiously to the drunken ellie. Trying to make conversation as she wiped the bar island down.

"Actually, let me guess. Your husband is not pleasing you? Oh! divorcing? Or an alcoholic?" She said immediately trying to estimate why she was here.

Ellie chuckled lightly as she took a sip of her beer bottle. Now sarcastically questioning. "Do I look like I have a husband?" She said looking back at the waitress, one of her eyebrows raised slightly.

"..No not at all" She said chuckling a little back. "My apologies, that's all we get around here. It makes it a guessing game now you know? Plus..I may have had too many to drink." She said snickering

"So, why are you here then? I can't think of any other reason?"

She asked again curiously.

Ellie took a sip of her beer before replying. "Sometimes you want to take shit off your mind."

"Oh..yeah I know what you mean." She said nodding her head looking and listening to her.

Ellie nodded her head back at her. Letting out another frustrated sigh. The waitress now spoke again as she noticed Ellies frustration.

"You know, their having a show tonight? One of the solos. You should stay.. relax. Sometimes if your lucky enough some of the girls will let you take them home." She said winking at Ellie. Now walking away to go wash some glasses.

The drunken Ellie sat there reasoning about what the lady said.

Taking another sip of her beer, getting up from the stool. Leaving a twenty dollar tip for how generous the waitress was. Approaching a seat to watch the stage. Beer bottle in hand. Sitting down on the velvet seat man spreading in front of the stage, brushing a piece of her brown hair behind her ear. It had came out her half up half down usual style. The lights started to get a little dim as the two girls on the stage made way for another. One on each side as another one came from behind the curtain filled the middle of the stage.

There you were. Your curly afro that sat up perfectly. Silk soft dark brown curls. You reeked of oils and incense. Sweet scents.. the type of scent you smell once and never smell again. Pretty and polished. Your natural curves..your slender arms. Your tiny waist and wide hips. Eye candy to all around you. Putting everyone in a trance as you walked on stage. In your black corset with silk red ribbons. Your tiny black skirt stopping mid thigh. Red platformed heels with more red silk ribbon that wrapped around both your ankles matching your corset. Your boobs perfectly popped out your corset. Your mocha brown skin shimmering in the strobe light. Starting to now swerve and sway around the sleek silver pole. So carefully..so slow you turned. Mysterious and alluring you were on that stage. There was just.. something about you. You were different than all the other girls on those poles. You didn't give it all away. You didn't immediately throw yourself at these women and men. You weren't so desperate. Thats what made you so seductive. Alluring..everyone wandered about you. Not being able to keep their eyes away. You took your time on that pole. Curves all in the right place..arching your back perfectly when needed. Everyone was under your spell. All. Eyes. On. You.

Ellie was fucking bricked. Watching you as you made your entrance. Arching your back on the pole. Dropping down to your ankles slowly..swaying around the pole. All so slowly. The sound of your heels clicking after each sway made her throb. The song in the background playing as you trapped everyone in. Bathroom by Montell Fish. She couldn't keep her damn eyes off you. Manspreading in the seat as she took a sip from her beer bottle. Feel the heat between her legs get intense. Everyone around the room watched you. You weren't even seen as just sex appeal or a sexual object. Everyone was admiring your beauty. Your long legs..your silk curls. Admiring your presence. Especially Ellie. Her eyes continued to trail on you throughout your whole solo. Eventually the other girls on the side of the stage had left. It was just you. All eyes on you. She was arroused and mesmerized by your performance. Every so often you would glance back at her too. The tension in the room getting hotter.

Your performance had now ended. The lights starting to come back on. Everyone around you clapping and whistling loudly. Ellie was clapping too. Ellie went back to the bar for now, unable to get you off her mind. Drinking yet another beer. When you came out from backstage heading over to the bar. Sitting right beside her on one of the stools at the bar island. Wearing a big coat over your scandalously revealing outfit.

“Can I get two margaritas? Please?” You say in your sweet sounding tone. A little raspy and a little pitched. Perfect. Ellie glanced over at you over a split second, surprised to see you here.

You and the waitress talked a little bit, the waitress obviously knowing most of the strippers here. But Ellie could tell you two were a little closer. Ellie stayed quiet, sipping her beer. Until when you and the waitresses were done with your conversation. You looked over at Ellie with a bright welcoming smile.

“Hey, you were watching my show right?” You said looking over at Ellie.

Ellie looked back at her. “Oh, yeah I was. Your pretty good.” She said a little froze up. Caught off guard you would speak to her.

“Thanks.” You replied smiling.

“Why are you here tonight?” You said trying to maintain conversation. Taking a sip of your margarita.

“I’m here because I’m a dick.” She exclaimed frustratingly.

“..you’re not a dick.” You said looking over at her with a concern look on your face.

She chuckled a little before looking over to you. “Baby you don’t even know me.” She responded.

“I know that we all make mistakes. We all say things we don’t mean in the moment.” You said looking back at her. Taking another sip of your margarita.

“I guess. It’s just irritating …fighting with someone because you love them so much.”

She expressed breathing out.

Taking a few seconds to respond before asking. “Girlfriend?” You asked curiously. But also knowing what you were doing.

Ellie snickered at the question. “That obvious?” She was referring to herself looking so much like a lesbian.

“A little.” You said laughing with her.

Ellie smiled slightly. “No, not a girl. My dad.”

You were nodding trying to relate.

Your boobs sat up perfectly in your corset. All pushed up and shimmery looking from the glitter.

Ellie couldn’t help but stare at them. Wondering what they would look like without that stupid corset. This is when the tension started to rise. Your voice brought her back into reality, she’s was trapped in her dirty thoughts.

“Doesn’t mean..it’s a bad thing.” You said referring to the girlfriend comment you made earlier. Quick to look away.

“Oh?. Care to elaborate?” She said said with a slight smirk on her face as she took another sip from her beer. Intrigued, in what you meant.

“You know what I mean.” You said chuckling lightly. Flustered even. Starting to obviously flirt with her. Seeing if she would do the same.

“If you think I’m attractive just say that.” She said halfway joking like she usually does. That smug smirk still on her face.

“Don’t get too cocky miss.” You said teasing her.

“I’m not cocky if it’s the truth. You aren’t bad looking yourself.” She expressed as she looked at you. Couldn’t stop staring at your boobs pushed up against your corset. Feeling herself began to have that ‘throbbing’ feeling she had when watching you on that pole again.

You grinned. Mocking her. “Care to elaborate?”

You said proudly.

She laughed. From there on the two of you talked and flirted all night. Talked about sentimental topics, Ellie even told you about Joel. You told her about you and your journeys as she did the same. The both of you clicked, she got to know you as a person a little bit not just seeing you for your body. The waitress poured the two of you drinks all night long. Only making Ellie wanna talk to you more.

The club started to close and so did the bar. You were putting on your coat getting ready to go suddenly when Ellie stopped you.

“Hey I uh..forgot to give this to you earlier.”

She muttered as she stopped you. Handing you twenty dollars.

“You were pretty good up there. That’s all I brought right now I was extremely drunk.” She complained, face palming herself gently.

You smiled brightly in Awe. “Thank you miss?”

You questioned realizing you hadn’t got her name.

“Ellie.” She replied smiling. “And you are?” She questioned back at you.

“Y/N”

The both of you talked so much and we’re wrapped so much in conversation you forgot to get one another’s name.

“Hey um. You know you could come to my place? Just to.. ‘talk’.. I’m pretty sure Joel’s asleep.” She nervously asked.

"I would love to." You replied. Trying not to seem too excited.

Soon enough the both of you arrived at Ellie’s house. Joel was in fact asleep, Ellie stood in the doorway of his bedroom watching him for a moment. Still feeling a little guilt. Walking over to his bed tucking him in comfortably as he slept. Walking out of the room quietly closing the door. Going back to meet you in her room. She had band posters all over her walls. AC DC, Nirvana, Korn, Slipknot, Paramore, and Rob Zombie. You name it and it was there. She had a guitar in the corner with a huge bean bag. She closed the door behind her when coming back in, approaching you taking off your big coat. You stood there in your black corset with red ribbons. Sitting down in the bean bag. Looking around the room curiously with your eyes.

"You have good taste in music." You said smirking at her from across the room.

"Thanks. Rocks my favorite genre." Ellie added to your comment, smiling back at you as she made her bed. "You want anything? Thirsty? Hungry?" She said glancing over to you. Wanting to make sure you were alright.

"I'm alright, thanks for asking." You expressed. Liking how she cared.

From this point forward, Ellie couldn't stop her disgusting thoughts. Your skirt was too short. Stopping at your mid-thigh, she swore she could see your black laced panties from across the room. Your breast kept pushing up further against your corset. Driving her fucking insane. All of it was driving her insane. Your scent in the air of her bedroom, smelling like fresh Lavendar or baby oil. She could feel herself throbbing. Wanting to just devour you right there on that damn bean bag while Joel was asleep.

She wasn't the only one aching in that moment, you kept crossing your legs while sitting down. Hoping to stop your ache between your legs. Fuck, her hands. Her fucking hands. The tattoo that went down her arm. The muscles in her fingers, how she looked like she could pick you up with one hand. The constant serious look in her face like she has killed 100 men.

Her stupid hair that drove you nuts. Or her musk. Smelling like fresh rain and alcohol. Or her stance, that damn stance she would sit in. Man spreading every time she sat down. The way she drank that beer. She was driving you to the edge. The both of you yearning for one another hungrily. Ellie sat on the bed on the other side of the room. Attempting her best not to look at you, scrolling on her phone.

You made up your mind. Abruptly walking over to her. Immediately straddling yourself on her lap instantly starting to kiss her aggressively. With no warning whatsoever. She reacted just as quick as you did, throwing her phone to the side of the bed instantly. Grabbing your hips as she kissed you back. You grinded yourself roughly against her crotch. The rough fabric of her jeans rubbing on your thighs. Ellie was completely caught off guard, but boy did she follow your lead. She grinded up into you as the two of you continued to suck faces. Dry humping each other on her bed. Her tongue exploring your mouth as she started to grab your fat ass. She groaned feeling your ass against her crotch. She started to go for your neck, aggressively pecking at it. It was like she couldn’t wait to get her fucking grimy hands on you. Leaving marks all down your neck, trails of them down to your breast. You whimpered trembling as she cupped your breast. Immediately kissing them in your corset. Your fingers twirled around her hair as she continued to leave marks on you. You breathed out into her ear. Groaning quietly. She held you up on her lap with her hands on your hips for support.

“Take this shit off.” Ellie demanded. Hungrily attempting to take it off of you. You helped her take it off. Your breasts now exposed to the cool air. She stared at them for a moment, her face an inch away from your brown nipples.

“Your fucking beautiful.” She exclaimed looking up at you. Her words caressed your heart, making you feel like the most perfect woman on planet earth right now. After her encouraging words, like a shot she started going on an absolute rampage on your boobs. Burying her face in them, sucking hard. The sounds of her slurping and sucking filled the room. So did your soft moans. “..fuck..Ellie..”’ A chorus of those exact words. She was so aggressive with it. Your nipples were already hard she just made them grow harder in her mouth. Your clit throbbed inside your panties. Sleek liquids began to slip out your pussy. Ellie groaned as she sucked on your breasts. She had waited all night to do this. Clearly. She came back up to kiss you deeply. Aggressively. Like she couldn't get enough. You were intoxicating, and she was going to make sure you knew that. Hostilely tearing your skirt off you. Lying flat on your back on the bed, she crawled on top of you. Spreading your legs wide for her. Slithering her hand down your stomach between your legs. Rubbing your swollen clit.

"Fuck. Right there." You expressed, your lips pressed against her ear.

She pushed one finger inside of you while rubbing your clit.

"Fuck your so wet for me.." She groaned during the process of pleasuring you. Your soft moans filled the room, the both of you trying to do all of this without waking Joel who was just down the hall. Ellie leaned on the side of you, her face buried in your neck while she stretches you out. "Such a pretty pussy." She whispered against your neck. "..mmmm....fuuckkk." You groaned.

"You think you can take two fingers baby?" She said exiting her finger out of you. You agreed obediently, she was being so gentle with you. For now. She slowly pushed both her fingers inside of you. You winced a little in pain. "Shh...I'm right here." She mumbled against your cheek. Slowly moving both her fingers in and out of your glistening pussy. As time passed she began to go faster. Thrusting her fingers in an ‘in out’ motion. You clutched on to the sleeve of her hoodie on her arm as time had go on. Throwing your head back and rolling your eyes in the back of your head from pleasure. She was stretching you out, perfectly. Making sure you were nice and ready for her cock. “Look at you taking my fingers so well. Good girl.” She purred looking at you beneath her. “Your legs spread open for me like a fucking slut.” She said bluntly in your ear as she continued to fuck you faster with her fingers.

“..fuck…” You whimpered in her ear.

She put an end to stretching you out, pinning you to to the bed before standing up.

“Don’t move.” She said glaring down at you on the bed. She was walking over to her dresser, clearly scouring for something. Meanwhile she was doing that, you quietly got up from the bed coming from behind her. After she specifically told you not to move your ass. She turned around feeling you behind her. “What did I say?” She spoke bluntly. You dropped to your knees starting to unbuckle her leather belt around her rough fabric jeans. Looking up at her from the ground.

“Let me make it up to you.” You said unbuckling her pants. Slowly pulling down her panties. She watched you from above looking down on you on your knees. She was aching hard. Your face inches away from her bare pussy. You started with a gently teasing lick on her outer lips. All while staring up at her. Ellie spreaded her legs more for you, giving you better access. That’s when you buried your face in her pussy. Sucking her clit and slurping her folds. A chorus of “mm..” sounds came from you as you ate her out. She held up your curly Afro for you so your hair didn’t get in the way. Throwing her head back grunting. “Fuck.” Ellie moaned bluntly. She was DRENCHED. So wet her juices were dripping down your chin. She had been soaked for you all night long. Your tongue swayed around her entrance. She was moaning more than she thought she would. Trying to cover her own mouth so she wouldn’t wake up Joel who happened to be down the hall.

“That’s right..fuck…make it up to me you filthy slut.” She groaned, pushing your head farther into her pussy. You could barely breathe, but you didn’t care and Ellie sure as hell didn’t.

She eventually let you up to breathe a little bit. You panted, your head against her leg breathing. “Now, go get on the bed.” She demanded watching you follow. Ellie found what she had been scouring for in the drawers. A pink strap on. 7.5 inches, 1.5 width. She walked over to the bed you were lying on. Taking off her shirt, now only in her sports bra. God. You watched her peel every piece of fabric off her body. Her toned stomach and thighs. Her muscular body. Fuck.

“Get on all fours.” She demanded watching you comply. You were in a doggy stance but held yourself up with your hands.

“Ah ah, no. Hands behind your back.” She demanded again. Such an uncomfortable position for you. But she didn’t seem to care. The pleasure was too much for you to even care. She started to put on the strap on. Ready to fuck your brains out. Using her knees to open your legs wider for her. “Arch your back some more for me baby.” Ellie whispered, you obeyed once again. Her sleek long cock started to enter you. You felt full already. Setting herself up behind you, her hands gripping your wide hips. She was starting to move. You let out breaths of relief feeling her start her rhythm. She held your hands in place behind your back. With the other hand she gripped your hip. “You have to stay quiet, we cannot wake up Joel.” She said kissing down your back, continuing her rhythmic movement behind your ass. “I make no promises.” You said teasingly grinning into the mattress. She grinded into your pussy. Your dark pinkish clit swelled up as she fucked you from behind. She kissed your neck a few times before coming back up to her stance. Warning you. “This is the last time im being gentle with you y/n.” You gulped quietly. “Do whatever you want with me.” You groaned. She grinned, her abdomen getting closer to your ass. Her nails digging in your hips, starting to fuck you hard. With no count down, no warning. She slammed into you repeatedly. The bed began to creak loudly. You could hear her grunt behind you.

"Fuck. Just like that..just like that. You whimpered into the mattress. She tightened her grip on your wrists. Continuously slamming into you. Your pussy swallowed her cock repeatedly. Your pussy growing wetter than earlier, Ellie being just as wet. Every time she slammed into you the strap on would grind into her pussy making her grunt each time. Wet sounds echoed in the room. A creaking bed moving every time Ellie did so. Your toned ass cheeks slapping against her abdomen. The sounds of your whimpering began to fill the room.

All you did was fuss. You wouldn’t shut up. Your face was buried so far into that fucking mattress you swear the patterns on it made indents on your cheek. “Face down, ass up.” Ellie ordered. You were starting to come out of your position because of how hard she was ramming into you. She held you in place with one hand. The other still on your hip. Her muscles flexing as she held you into place. “Please. I c-can’t. It’s too fucking much.” You muffledly whined with your head buried into the bed. “Thats too fucking bad isn’t it?” She said smirking, forcing you to take it. Take her cock. Take it all in. You started to come out of your position again. Noticing that she slapped your ass hostilely. So harsh you had a red hand mark on your ass. “Hold. Fucking. Still. What did I just say?.” She said slapping you again. Making you yelp in pain but pleasure. With no response from you she slapped you again. “What did I fucking say?!” She yelled trying not to wake up Joel. “..hold still.” You panted out. She continued to slam into you only harder this time. Wanting to teach you a lesson. You stayed in place, not daring to move anymore. The tension rose between you two. The bed creaking, the sweat, the uncomfortable position that also gave you so much pleasure. How rough she was with you. How the both of you still had to remain silent or you were going to wake up her dad. The adrenaline rush. All of it added to your pleasure. High off of sex. Your current mood.

“..gonna..cum soon.” You said nearly above a whisper. Your words broke into syllables due to her ramming behind you making you vibrate. “Mm..you cum when I do.” She whispered. Her voice raspy and low. She stopped for a moment. “..why did you stop…?” You said disappointed. “Shh.” She whispered, now leaning closer to your back. Grabbing on one of your boobs with one hand. The other keeping your wrists locked behind your back. “Don’t make a sound.” She breathed against your ear. Darting into you the fastest she could go. Too fast. Making you take the whole thing. She squeezed your boob as she continued to fuck you harder than she did before. It was like she was challenging you. Testing you to see how much you could take. How long you could stay quiet. She was trying to break you. It was like Ellie found pure joy in this. “Fuck!!” You cried out loudly. Loud enough your moans echoed Into the hall. After she specifically told you not to make a sound. You couldn’t help it, she unexpectedly darted into you with no warning whatsoever. She quickly covered your mouth, tightly. “You have to be quiet! Your going to wake up Joel.” She whispered in your ear as she fucked you. You couldn’t help but make sounds. Muffled cries filled the air. You could hear her grunting harder behind you. “Fuck.” She groaned. Your juices and cum slithered onto her strap. You were tearing up, the pleasure was too much. It was all too much for you. Ellie didn’t give a fuck. She was going to make you take it. She shoved her fingers in your mouth. Making you suck. You deep throated her fingers, sucking them. Tasting her flesh. Starting to choke she took them out. You were attempting to speak. Trying to tell her to stop. But all your words came out in whimpers and syllables. Not being able to form sentences. “I know baby I know.” She cooed softly in your ear. “Your being so good for me. Such a good girl.” She praised you. Ellie groaned in your ear. Starting to feel her climax reach it’s end. Your pussy was so slippery on her cock. Both of you throbbing to cum. “m’gonna cum.” She moaned softly against your neck. “God..you feel so fucking good y/n.” She said whining. The praise felt good. The both of you starting to go over the edge. Your highs going too far. “I’m gonna cum!” You cried into the mattress. “I’m right here baby. I’m right here.” She groaned still holding onto your right boob. Heaved breaths filled both of your ears. Feeding off of one another’s high. “Oh fuck!” She cried, reaching her climax as you did so too. Cumming into one another. Your cries were choked up. Eyes rolling into the back of your head. Her hand remaining over your mouth. Gasping for air as you came. Orgasming both of you together. Her strap was absolutely soaked. Your cum all over it her cum all over it. Sticky and warm. Ellie heaved in her breathing. Trying to catch her breath. She had let go of your wrist. Still laying on top of you. You panted heavily. Both of you coming down from your high. She flipped off of you to the other side of the bed. Taking off the strap throwing it on the floor. You remained beside her. Both of you heavily breathing, exhausted.

Heavily breathing in silence for a moment. Just staring up at the ceiling before she says.

“No man at that club has fucked you that good before, huh?.” She said chuckling. Cracking jokes after sex.

“Cocky.” You said chuckling. You were a little far from her. She patted a spot close beside her. You crawled over. Laying your head on her chest. You could hear her heavy breathing slowly come down. Her arm over your shoulder. Both of you naked. “That was amazing.” You said closing your eyes. Ellie smirked a little. “We should do it again some time.” She said looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah.” You agreed, starting to get up off the bed. About to put your shirt on before she stopped you. “Hey, where are you going?” She questioned you, sitting up. Watching you getting ready to leave. “I’m a stripper baby. I’m guessing that you want me to leave now.”

You said in a disappointed tone as you started to put your panties on. “I don’t want you to leave.” She said bluntly. You turned around to look at her surprised. “You don’t..?” You said stopping in your tracks. “No.” She voiced. Patting the same spot you had been in once before. You hesitatingly crawled up on the bed. Lying beside her with your head on her chest. Ellie tucked you in with her and the white/sage green mixed covers. She looked at you for a minute, analyzing your features. “May I touch your hair?.” She blurted out. Asking for permission before she touched your Afro. “Yes” you said with a smile. Butterflies in your stomach. It’s always good to ask to touch a black girls hair. She placed her slender fingers in your delicate dark curls. Your hair was thick. Smelling like rosemary oil and lavender. Your curls were a good inch down your back. Twirling her fingers around your strands. You spoke. “..usually everyone wants me to leave after….you know.” You said in a sour tone. “Well everyone should know your a human being with feelings too.” She expressed, still playing with your hair. You could feel your heart flutter. For once you felt like not just a ‘one night stand’. “How long have you and Joel been together..?” You said after some silence. Ellie chuckled a little. “Too long.” She said jokingly. The both of you snuggled up to one another’s warmth. In the covers. “That’s how me and my mom were.” You said closing your eyes.

“You two don’t talk anymore..?.” Ellie asked carefully. Not wanting to push your buttons or anything. “No. Not really. I miss her though. A lot.” You mumbled. Ellie stopped playing with your hair, pulling you closer to her. Both your nude bodies pressed together. Her chin on the top of your head. “You should call her. Trust me. I have my regrets.” She expressed. Staring into space. You nodded. Taking Ellie’s advice. The two of you laid there quietly. Worn out from your earlier events. “Ellie.” You called out. “..hm..?” she replied. Coming up to her eye level you pressed your lips on hers. Kissing her softly. Not out of sexual intention. Just wanted to kiss her. Affectionately. She kissed you back. Not expecting that. You cupped her face gently. The two of you kissing for quite some time before Ellie broke the kiss. “Hey, I was thinking. Maybe you and me..could get some coffee one day.” She said hesitantly. Clearly nervous about what you would say. You smiled warmly. Thinking her nervousness was adorable. “Are you asking me on a date?” You said teasing her. “Um..yea. Yes yes I suppose.” She said stammering her words. You chuckled. “I would love to.” You assured her. Kissing her face. She kissed you back smiling into your skin. Soon after, both of you fell asleep in each others arms.

The morning after. You remained asleep on her chest. Quietly breathing. Ellie slowly arose. The sun shining through the blinds brightly on the other side of her room. She watched you for a moment in ‘awe’. Before gently moving trying not to awake you. Making sure you laid your head comfortably on the bed. Tucking you in. She put on one of her hoodies from her drawer. Trying to clean up a little after last night. Leaving her room quietly closing the door behind her. Joel’s door was cracked, he wasn’t in the room. Ellie could smell breakfast. Sunny side up and orange juice. Quietly walking down the hall. Scratching the back of her neck nervously. Seeing Joel in the kitchen cooking. His back turned to Ellie, he was at the stove. “Morning.” He spoke broadly. “Morning.” Ellie replied. Silence filled the room. Joel broke the silence. “Where’d you go last night?” He asked curious. Now setting out plates on the counter. “Um, nowhere really. I was just walking in circles.” She said trying not to let him sense her lies. He nodded at that. The both of them didn’t say much. I don’t think the pair even knew exactly what to say. “Hey um Joel.” Ellie said slowly approaching him. “I wanted to apologize. ..for last night. I was being fucking selfish. I should have never said everything I had said. I didn’t mean any of-“ Joel cut her off. “I know kiddo.” He said turning to her. Smiling. Ellie looked hopeful. Looking up at Joel. Kinda of teary. Joel pulled Ellie into a hug. Rubbing her back gently. Ellie hugged him back tightly. The feeling of forgiveness and love was mutual. Joel broke the hug. “Now help me set out plates.” Ellie nodded at that. “She was setting out plates, but there were three?. Joel turned his back around again to finish the food before announcing.

“Oh, go wake up your girlfriend too before the food gets cold.” He hinted. Sounding like he was grinning while saying that sentence. Ellie was absolutely speechless. Just staring at Joel’s back with her mouth open. Before she could say anything he turned around saying. “Well we don’t have all day do we? Hurry the food is getting cold as we speak.”

Joel was truly the water to Ellie’s fire.

[lyneira]

-> "Your sweet boyfriend, Alhaitham, who calls you beautiful, also secretly enjoys praising you as you take all of him in"

SMUT - MINORS DNI

alhaitham x fem!reader / cw: penetration, brief mentions of fingering and cunnilingus

lyneira's (18+) mini event: Your Sweet Boyfriend!

@vexshira 's result:

Okay, I'll be honest. I don't see Alhaitham addressing you by any nickname or term of endearment. I see him as a, "Y/n", guy. He prefers simplicity after all.

BUT I'll say that if he were to call you, "beautiful", then it makes it all the more significant. If you've got him to refer to you as that or any type of term of endearment at all, then that means this man truly loves you. He would refer to you as this in his softest, most vulnerable moments.

The first time he addressed you as beautiful, it was when you were groggily waking up in the morning. Seeing your eyes begin to slowly open, yet still half-lidded, he chuckled, "Good morning, beautiful", while caressing your cheek with his thumb gently. He had tapered off that last word, assuming that you weren't able to hear it due to your half-awake state. But unfortunately for him, you did hear him. You then grin widely, and he raises a brow.

"What are you grinning for?"

"You called me beautiful", you hum in delight.

"Heh, so you've caught me"

"I like it", you smile softly

And from that last remark, he would no longer be as hesitant to address you as so. Knowing that calling you the term would make you happy, he wouldn't mind continuing to call you that occasionally from then on.

In the first place, it wasn't that he disliked terms of endearments, he just saw no use for them (before using them for you). He looked at things in a practical manner in comparison to his passionate roommate who had a great value for extravagance and beauty. Even still, there was no doubt in his mind that he found you beautiful, with your wonderful mind, soul, all that you were, and therefore so deserving of the title.

Whenever the word "beautiful" came up, his mind would immediately go to you, for you became his definition of beautiful.

But anyway, as I said, he'd refer to you as that during those moments where he would be soft. So when it came to your first time with him, he was actually incredibly soft with you.

He had you on your back, legs hanging over his shoulders as he began to insert the tip of his cock into you. Of course, he had already done much to prepare you for him, from fingering your cunt to licking and exploring it with his tongue. But now that the time finally came for him to sheathe his cock inside you, it was still a lot to handle, because this man was both big AND long.

Alhaitham is incredibly perceptive both in and out of the bedroom, so seeing how you were struggling to take him in, he began to encourage and praise you in attempt to ease you. With each inch of himself he slowly inserted, he would let out a "Yes...just like that, beautiful...you're taking me in so well", in between sharp breaths. You were so tight that he too was struggling to keep his composure.

By the time he had fully sheathed himself inside you, stretching you out so painfully good, he would let himself stay buried inside as he looks to you tenderly with all of the love and adoration he holds for you, and cups your cheek, "that's my beautiful girl...tell me when you're ready for me to move", he'll huskily whisper. And when you finally give him the green light, he'll still be gentle with you, pumping in and out slowly until you've adjusted to him fully. He'll then fuck you with a passion and zeal that's so uncharacteristic of him, but that's just what you do to him. You make him go crazy for ya 😏

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