#as i've come to realize i may be approaching it a little different than most

[fairydares]

loook i get why the idea of riding the "anti/pro" fandom disk horse makes people gag a little in their mouth and try to opt out entirely, but here's why i went from feeling exactly the same way to taking a firm profiction stance. I've been meaning to make this post for a while.

~10 years ago, I posted a fic for the first time and it got its own harassment campaign. The fic wasn't even sexual, and wasn't going to be (it remains incomplete). It was accurately rated T on fanfiction.net. Anyone in the Fairy Tail fandom will understand this: I literally got harassed for writing a "Lucy leaves the guild" fic💀.

After many nice comments, someone left a pretty nasty one. Hurt, I messaged them back. They acted super attacked that I'd responded (lmao) and after we argued, threatened to "rip my shitty story apart in the comments section" if I responded again. I told them "go ahead lol."

They went ahead.

Now know that it was a relatively small harassment campaign, but at the time, it was devastating. Right around then, I wound up in the hospital. After I got out, I went to excitedly check my fic, and found several reviews saying things I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I was suicide-baited more than once, told "thank fuck you finally abandoned this shitty story, dumb cunt," stuff like that.

There were several accounts involved, and I can't say for sure, but I suspect at least a couple different people were involved, though probably at least half of it was one person.

All the other comments were screeching about how I hadn't updated, mostly. "NO UPDAAATEE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEE??!!!" was one that stood out after I'd been miserable in a hospital for an extended period of time.

Idk what people think is going on when FT fic authors write this trope, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Because while I was partly writing the story out of some young, cringe feminist rage, I also did genuinely have a real story I was compelled to tell. I was inspired by another, popular fic I loved which used the trope to talk about how trying to shoulder our burdens alone really just hurts both ourselves and everyone who cares about us.

My own story was ultimately going to have similar themes, with more focus on strength, what it means, and in what contexts earning and having it actually matters. In retrospect, no wonder I wound up in hot water, because at the time "Lucy vs. Strength vs. Misogyny" was the FT fandom's Designated Nonsensically Activist Debate™. But that's partly why i wanted to write about it; engaging with the fandom had gotten me thinking about it 🤷‍♂️

Not too long after that, FFNet oh-so-benevolently granted us the ability to delete comments from our own stories (they never took my reports seriously at all, afaik). I deleted all or most of the harassers' comments (may still be a one or two up, and i'm fairly sure there's a couple comments defending my fic from the harassment) without saving screenshots, which I really regret now. I was just so mortified and full of self-loathing about the whole thing that i wanted to forget it completely. Something that had brought me joy at a very lonely, vulnerable period of my life had turned so negative, and i couldn't even tell the people closest to me about it without being made fun of for writing anime fan fiction.

I didn't understand why this happened at the time, but--after a period of trying to forget/bid out of it all with a slight anti lean (a common approach I see people use, and one which I'm not proud of adopting)--I just had to figure out What the Fuck Even Happened There. And I'm telling you, after years of reflecting, wrestling with both sides, and educating myself, that this "status quo of harassment" culture which pervades fandom goes way deeper than you think and comes out of a way darker well than you probably realize. An astonishing amount of this is, quite literally, TERF shit and evangelical shit.

Trying to be in fandom and take a stance of, "Anti/Pro shit? Ew, I'm Not Touching that," is like swimming in a heavily polluted river and being like, "Poison? Cringe. Not me lol."

You might be lucky enough to be in a less-polluted part of the river (AKA a relatively non-toxic fandom, in which case good for you!)...but tbh this rhetoric and peer-signalling will still seep in.

I can't stress enough that pro-fiction, AKA "proship", is the normal, leftist-about-art-and-sex opinion. Pro-ship is against all the horrible things you're against; in fact, pro-ship isn't trivializing real trauma by equating it with fictional trauma, or trying to apply literal evangelical/radfem solutions--which are proven not to prevent or help. Profiction/proship is literally just saying, "Fiction is fiction, reality is reality, and the two don't have a 1:1 relationship. And historically, trying to censor just things we've decided are bad has done nothing but get LGBTQ+ and POCs censored. Therefore, depictions of illegal things shouldn't be censored." That's it. "Proshippers all ship problematic ships," is a brazen lie. Many of them share other fans' disgust for those ships, they just don't believe in censoring fic authors over it.

It is also taking a stand against harassment because--and I hope my own story has helped drive this home--as with all groups who adopt ingroup/outgroup thinking, antis are defined by their tactics, not actual stances on real, serious issues. What happened to me was absolutely a result of anti, "it's okay to 'bully out' anything I just don't like" mindset pervading fandom. In a way, this was the mindset's final form. They didn't even feel the need to cite a reason the trope was "bad" or "wrong"; it annoyed them, and they viewed their own feelings as a valid enough pathway for policing to go right ahead and do so.

In the interest of offering solutions instead of just bitching about problems, I might make a "how to know if you've bought into these types of views"-type post sometime. Also might come back to this and provide some sources/citation.

[justcallmecj]

Seeing Your Dragon Form: First Years

(I feel like this chapter of the series may be crappier than the previous ones. I'm slowly running out of ideas and have used up quite a bit of my writing energy recently. I've come to realize that writing for the First Year Squad is just harder for me because I'm used to the pure crackhead energy the fandom gives them, but I'm still going strong! Oh well, I really want to write, so here I am!)

^Original note from Quotev that I put prior to the chapter. As a sort of mini explanation for my mindset going into this one.

Ace

Ace wanted to look unimpressed and chill, but he was currently losing it, and you could tell.

When you finally settled down, he approached you with his hands behind his head, really trying to hit home the idea he wasn't fanboying over you right now.

You brought your head down to allow him to get a closer look as well as touch your horns and snout.

He was a lot gentler than you thought he'd be.

He carefully ran his hand up and down your snout, making you hum in the process.

He tried talking to you, getting frustrated when you'd only hum and growl, before those two working brain cells in his head worked and he figured out that you couldn't actually talk.

He doesn't know, for some reason, a part of his brain just assumed you'd be able to talk.

Despite the current situation, Ace's behavior didn't change. He still tried to tease you, coming up basically unsuccessful because that's just how it is between the two of you, didn't stop him though.

Once, when you weren't paying attention, he tried to climb onto your back, not expecting the reaction that you'd have.

When you realized, you rolled over, trapping him under you. Due to the size difference, he was completely stuck, despite how much effort he put into trying to push you off him. You made sure not to hurt him though, and you didn't.

He could practically hear you laughing, even if it just came out as draconic grumbles.

sigh "You really never change, huh? You big bully! Though honestly, what can I say? I'm the same way, and I wouldn't want you any other way."

Deuce

Deuce was certainly nervous.

No fear. His brazen, delinquent years prepared him to take on any challenge that may be thrown at him, but this was definitely different.

He was stunned for a decent while after you transformed. Just kinda standing there, frozen in place.

Pretty sure his brain fried for a moment.

When he finally came back to his sense, he tried to play it all off with compliments, but really, there was no tricking you, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt and ignored it.

He was the most interesting by your wings.

(If I remember correctly)One of the reasons he likes being on the Track Team/Magical Wheel(?Can't remember which), is feeling the wind rush past him when he picks up speed. Because of this, he really admired your wings, which could do the same thing but ten fold.

He really wanted to ask you to take him on a flight with you, but was too shy to ask out loud. Maybe one day he'll have the confidence.

He made sure to be extra careful around parts like your horns, tail and other parts that may be considered sensitive/vulnerable. He didn't want to risk being even a little to rough and hurting you. He'd never forgive himself if he hurt you. (He doesn't realize how tough dragon skin and scales are, just give him a while).

All in all, it was a pleasant experience for the both of you. He had fun getting to see a new side of you, and you got to have a breather in your dragon form with no worries about who's around you.

"This is truly amazing. I can't believe you're capable of something like this. You really make NRC much more fun than it would be if you weren't here."

Jack

His reaction was much different from the others.

You and him are pretty similar in more ways than some may think.

Both of you are non-human beings capable of turning into a natural animal form. Him a wolf, you a dragon.

He was calm, but astounded. He didn't think you'd be quite so big.

He gets bigger than a normal wolf when he uses his Unique Magic, but he always assumed that was because he's a bigger person himself. Maybe it's just natural for anyone capable of this ability.

He was cautious to approach, not fully aware of how conscious you are, taking his own wolf state into account.

You just sat down, tail resting on the forest floor, wings at rest, showing just how comfortable you were in the situation. That convinced him that nothing had changed except how you looked.

He sat next to you, showing the same peaceful signs. Tail resting and ears calm.

You came closer, laying your head down next to his side. He reached out a hand and gently stroked the top of your head.

You two just stayed there like that for a while. Peacefully enjoying each others calm presence, until he stopped petting you.

You had gotten so used to the feeling and were so close to falling asleep, him stopping upset you.

In retaliation, you picked up your head and placed it down in his lap. He panicked for a moment before freezing, not knowing quite what to do.

He soon recognized the affectionate action. It was one his younger sister and brother would do when they wanted affection without actually saying they wanted affection. A silent plea.

He placed his hand back on your head, petting you like he was not even a minute ago. Sometimes he'd move his hand and scratch behind your ear, which caused you to hum and delight.

"We really are more alike than I thought. Are you sure you're not just a dog in disguise?" You grumbled at the playful tease, making him laugh.

Epel

Epel actually reacted much differently than you expected.

The moment he saw your dragon form, he wasted no time in rushing over and didn't even attempt to hide his complete adoration.

He jump up and down, bouncing on the heel of his feet. He rushed around, taking in every detail about you that he could.

His attention to speech completely leaves his mind and his natural accent slips in until he's speaking with such a think accent it's sometimes hard to understand what he's saying.

This may very well be the most excited you've seen Epel act, other than when he's getting competitive.

When he was finally able to wrap his head around everything and calm down, his demeanor changed on the dime, much like his personality can.

He softly took hold of your snout and held if close to his chest with his arms holding onto the underside of your head, something he likes to do even when you're in your normal form. For him, it's a show of trust, one he knew you'd understand.

A soft hum found its way out of your throat. He giggled at the affection.

You both took a rest and talked. It may have been a one-sided conversation, but he didn't mind.

He rambled on and on to fill the silence, accompanied with the occasional scratch under the chin.

There was a moment where he got jealous about how much bigger you were than him normally, let alone now. But, he soon got over it after thinking about how it must have just been natural since you weren't human.

"As much as I think it's unfair you can do all these cool things about how you look while I'm stuck like this, I'm still really happy that you opened up to me. I know what it's like to not be content with how you look, but we can do our own thing together!"

Sebek

Now, normally, Sebek is really respectful towards you. A byproduct from how he treats Malleus and how similar the two of you are.

Throughout the school year, it's taken some work, but you've gotten him to truly see you as a friend, not just another fae.

But, things did change a little bit after seeing your dragon form.

He's never seen Malleus's, because Malleus sees no use in taking his dragon form most of the time, so he didn't quite know what he was expecting to see from you.

When he watched a massive, spike covered, ice coated dragon walked out of the mist that practically came out of now where, he was honestly a little scared.

He remembered a story Lilia had told him and Silver once. It was about how once, when Malleus was young, he changed forms after throwing a temper-tantrum. After that, Sebek just started associating the idea with anger.

But, his time as a guard(and your friend) allowed him to be more observant than some. He saw every cue that would tell your current mood. There was no anger, only a calm curiosity. A curiosity towards him.

The idea of you watching him with the intention to see how he'd react embarrassed him. He turned his head to hide the reddening of his cheeks, but he didn't realize the red had crept up his ears and right into your watchful gaze.

You made a sound, one he didn't recognize, but it sounded faintly like laughter.

You were laughing at him!!!

He stomped a foot and grumbled under his breath, only causing you make more of the laughing sounds.

After that whole fiasco, Sebek finally felt comfortable enough to let down his guard.

His sharp hearing allowed him to quickly pick up on the different meanings of certain sounds, enough to have a semi-coherent conversation. He made sure to keep his voice quieter than usual, only being able to guess how sensitive your hearing may be right now.

Eventually, the interaction between the two of you fell into a comfortable and familiar conversation, like nothing was different about this scenario than usual.

"I really should be finding Waka-sama right now, but as Silver has told me, I may need to lighten up. So, we'll stay here for a while longer." His voice got just a bit quieter, "Thank you for showing me this."

And then the original note I put on Quotev after the chapter-

(Well, I think this set actually came out a lot better than I initially though it would. These five weren't as hard to write for as they usually are once I actually started soooo- YAY!!)

You can see the mindset change, wow.

[2kyo7]

𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐌; 𝟎𝟓

metkayina!reader x avatar 2

THE SHORE HAD BECOME tiny after yourself and Tuk had swam such a great distance to reach the destination. At first you'd grown worried about going so far, even with your skills you didn't want her to tire out halfway through, but was graciously surprised when Tuk showed little sign of discomfort or distress. Simply enjoying the delicious food and scenery around her. "Tuktirey do not fear the waves as you swim." You held a steady grasp to Tuk's hand, providing some stability as she attempted to stay afloat comfortably as you did. "The harder you fight, the harder swimming will be."

Tuk let out a strong huff of frustration, "I only want to swim like you ____!" You laugh aloud at her inexperience, "most fyeyn in the clan can not swim half as well as me Tuktirey. Do not worry yourself so much." Tuk seemed to calm at the realization she was not lacking in skill, just you had an over abundance of it. "Woah, really!" You nodded, soon diving your head below the water in order to pick a ripe fruit from its underwater vine. "In truth Tuktirey, you are doing very well—even more so than your older siblings! Truly something only a strong warrior can accomplish.”

fyeyn - adult

She became silent at your words for a moment before speaking once more, "why do you call me that ____? I have never went into battle before like Neteyam and Lo'ak..." Tuk's head lowered slightly, a mix of sadness and anger playing on her features, all directed towards herself. You'd broken the fruit apart, placing its inside contents to her lips. "Being a warrior is not only about fighting. One can be a warrior of many things." Tuk took the fruit into her mouth, looking at you curiously. "Take me, I am a warrior of the water, and you—"

"You are a warrior of great courage. Not many are able to travel so far and stray from everything they've known, especially at your age."

"So...I am a warrior! More than Lo'ak, and Neteyam." Tuk's eyes gleamed with excitement, her arms moving to latch themselves around your neck. "____, if you know all this—can't you be nicer to everyone else?"

The question through you for a loop, but you came to understand why she'd ask this of you. Her family most likely spoke about you amongst themselves, no, you're positive they do, and she heard every word of it. Admittedly you did have your favorite out of the family, and to everyone else, the difference was noticeable. Though you still thought your actions of precaution were just, maybe at some points you took things too far. "I apologize Tuktirey, I've acted immaturely up until now."

"Pänutìng you won't be mean anymore!" Her bottom lip quivered ever so slight, in a silent plea. Wrapping an arm around your middle, you started swimming towards shore with ease despite the added weight. "I pänuting Tuktirey, kindness and respect shall be shown to your family by me from now on."

pänuting - promise

Eclipse over took the sky's bright and shining blues, now exchanging them for dark contrasting purples lined with thousands of stars. Both you and Tuk admired Eywa's enchanting sky view causing your voyage to take much longer than intended. Upon arrival, you notice the Sully's in their usual circle—minus one of course, deciding that your distance was close enough. "I'm afraid this is where we part ways young warrior."

"Come join us for dinner, they won't mind trust me!" Tuk began pulling you closer towards her home, you retracted yourself from her surprisingly vice grip on your arm. "No Tuktirey, I must leave for home myself soon—may eywa grant you peace."

"Goodnight ____." Tuk's pace turned into a fast jog as she approached her family's marui, "see you tomorrow!" You watched as she was immediately greeted by the others, showered with affection after she'd technically disappeared for nearly an entire day, cooing you watched the scene only a moment before the ocean called out your name in whisperers. Allowing herself to sucome to Eywa's waters.

Neteyam soon departed from his shared marui pod, eyes scanning around the dark in search of something—or rather—someone. Ah, he thinks, there you are. "Neteyam? What are you doing, sit. Dinner will be fixed soon." He paused at the entrance, with half his body already out, Neteyam turned to look at his mother pleadingly. "Uh, I'll be back soon, don't wait to eat."

Venturing out of his home at a rather quickened pace, Neteyam nearly tripped over himself to get to you, praying that the slip up went unnoticed.  "____" He called softly, possible the softest he ever would to anyone, so much he'd doubt you'd heard him.

Your ear twitched—you heard him— but the rest of your body remained unmoving. You'd submerge yourself barely waist length into the water, your arms outstretched to feel the bioluminescent squid which swam in circles around you as if you were born one of their own.

Neteyam ungracefully joined alongside by you in the ocean waves that pushed against his body, not only causing him to nearly lose his footing but also scare away your marine life.  "Oh! I truly meant no harm—" You interrupted his apology with a deep groan, silencing yourself by dragging two hands down your face, muffling the next words you spoke. "Eywa give me strength."

He'd really done it now, embarrassing himself not only once but twice in front of you of all na'vi. It's as if he lost all sense in your presence, who could recover from this? "Worry not, brother of Tuktirey, you are not completely to blame for your clumsiness. I am at fault too."

Neteyam lowered his own posture send you a look of surprise, you'd never said something like this to him. "Your sister has made me realize the error of my ways." Your gaze shifted to look towards Neteyam, leaving him breathless simply because of your stare. "I have been unreasonably cruel to you and your family."

Placing a light hand to his shoulder, you wanted Neteyam to understand the truth to your words—your truth. "I am sorry Neteyam."

A toothy grin grew on the younger na'vis face quicker than he could suppress it, an expression of true happiness taking shape. He'd never thought four simple words of an apology would ever make him feel the way he did now, like an opposing force finally released him, now Neteyam felt ten times lighter.

"Irayo ____." Encasing his hand around yours, Neteyam's words were followed by a deep, meaningful silence between the both of you. So much so, you barely took noticed of the lightened squid which not only surrounded yourself but also Neteyam into a circle. What you did take notice of were his round bunny ears, that twitched too often. And every tiny syuratan freckles scattered throughout his face. Your eyes began traveling further than they should've, taking note of his arms, though thin compared to your people, had a thick layer of toned muscle. Wondering the tiniest bit lower revealed a noticeable vline—

irayo - thank you

syuratan - bioluminescence

"I-I don't deserve your thanks," you withdrew your hand from his hold, opting to sway them in the waves. "Tomorrow I will truly teach you the ways of our people, just as I always should have." Neteyam stopped himself from reaching out to hold your limb once again, not wanting to risk losing the new found sympathy, watching while you fully submerged yourself, causing splashes of water to land on him. "Alright. Tomorrow then." He turned to walk back towards the dry surface sand.

"Nìhona unil, ____" Neteyam's smile outshined even thr thousands of stars above you, hoping he wouldn't see your growing nervousness. Simply nodding in response as he walked away.

nìhona - sweet

unil - dreams

You swam with your head atop the waves, enjoying the simple comfort and familiarity of something so known to you—paired with the overwhelming presence of the sky. Tears breamed along your waterline, mixing amidst salty water droplets that already occupied your cheeks. To do this, accepting them, went against the very values you'd built to protect yourself and the clan from your parent's fate. As if you broke some type of taboo by welcoming them with open arms despite knowing their origins.

"Great Mother," you say breathlessly, "guide me well."

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE B

Yoon Jongwoo Propaganda:

So technically not a narrator but he's the main char/protagonist who we follow from majority of the show. But, he is slowly losing his mind due to: fear, paranoia, ptsd, being drugged, and lack of sleep. Big big spoiler for the last episode but we originally see him only killing in self defense and the main villian being the one to kill off/brutally murder the henchpeople BUT later on after the fight it comes out that HE was the one who killed them and he actually was even talking to himself at one point. It throws the whole episode into a new light and then makes u wo der how much of the rest of the show may have also been different than what we originally saw. How innocent is he??

Kim Dokja Propaganda:

I haven't read orv but he's fucking gotta be from what I've osmosised

He tries to remove his emotions out of the narrative soooo much, literally the most repressed guy ever. Okay so for context orv is about how this guy, Kim Dokja, has been the only reader of an obscure post-apocalyptic webnovel for years and the novel suddenly becomes reality. And at first you'll probably get the weird impression that his behavior is pretty strange for, you know, a literal apocalypse happening in his world - like yes, he is concerned with survival but he doesn't seem all that scared and he kinda treats it like a video game where he has to grind to make himself stronger and he also treats his companions like a party in an rpg. Then there's also the way he approaches the protagonist of the webnovel, from the start he just kind of describes him as a ruthless psychopath and jerk that is unfortunately a pretty useful ally. And also there's the fact that he carefully omits any mention of his past and when somebody asks if he's worried about his family when the apocalypse starts he just kinda... brushes it off? Anyway so yeah, this bastard is definitely traumatized, although I don't know how much of spoiler territory that would be, considering the fact that literally when he first reveals his trauma he's also unreliable about it. And turns out he does indeed, care A LOT about this world and the people around him. Because well, he kinda didn't care to mention that this webnovel that has become reality was like... literally his whole world before it literally became his whole world. Like, it was the only thing keeping him going for 10+ years and the protagonist that he likes to call a stupid jerk was his comfort character who he pretended to be when he felt like he couldn't handle something in his life by being himself. The protagonist is also canonically the person he loves the most according to a prophecy and he literally can't fathom the thought of him dying, even the timeline versions of him that directly oppose him. And I haven't even mentioned the Fourth Wall yet but I feel like this propaganda is a little long already

misreading the intentions of his companion (yoo joonghyuk) so many time.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDDD DOKJA IS SUCH A UNRELIABLE NARRATORRRRRR GOD I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE DOKJA TOO BUT OMG HE'S JUST SO AAAAAAAAAAAH

he is the worst like actually. he starts the story talking about how normal and average he is. he is not. he is constantly mischaracterizing his friends and he's so good at lying to the readers that you don't even realize it at first. almost every single time he cries we have to be told by other characters because he never says it himself. there is literally a scene where his narration says "i wasn't crying" and then the in-universe entity that narrates the actions of people (orv is really weird and meta) says that he was, in fact, crying. honestly genuinely anything he says about himself (or doesn't say) cannot be trusted. he is just so frustrating. he drives me mad. i love him dearly. but he drives me so mad.

Rest of Propaganda under cut!

Dictionary definition of unreliable narrator. Does not tell the reader anything and then things happen and he's like oh yeah btw there was also this and this earlier but i just didn't feel like mentioning it. There's even a thing called the "Fourth Wall" that is able to see through kdj's bs so occasionally you get gems like, Kim Dokja: I didn't cry The Fourth Wall: [Kim Dokja was crying] Imagine being so unreliable as a narrator you need a more powerful narrator to call out the actual narrator.

This goes into spoiler territory, but; Kim Dokja is in possession of a skill called the Fourth Wall, which on the surface seems like it appears because he read the book that reverse-isekai’d into his own. However, as the story goes on it becomes clear that it’s pretty much a souped up version of his pre-existing dissociation. You cannot trust him to be honest about his feelings, his past traumas or his feelings about his past traumas, not to mention his tendency to just outright omit information that only gets revealed later on either when it becomes relevant or when an outsider POV reveals what’s actually happening. Exhibit A: he says (in 1st person POV) that he’s not crying. The Fourth Wall immediately contradicts this (as it is literally words of the novel) by saying (in 3rd person POV) ‘Kim Dokja was crying’. Exhibit B: Fails to mention entire actions when it shows him emotionally honest even in the slightest; we had to read from another character entirely when Kim Dokja was being physically affectionate with his companion. It’s so bad that there’s this entire paragraph about Kim Dokja describing himself hiding his eyes in his hands in jerky, weirdly specific detail and just AVOIDING EVERY WORD THAT MIGHT SHOW HE’S CRYING. The brilliance of ORV is that when you re-read the entire thing you get hints that ‘yes, this WAS hinted at the entire time’ but you have to dig it out of Kim Dokja’s repressed, depressed self-hating internal dialogue with your own two hands.

i am a simple man (not a man). i see a tumblr text post with the words “unreliable narrator in it”. i read nothing else. i reblog & tag #kim dokja okay but in all seriousness i’m just going with the musty basic example: so there’s this moment where he sacrifices himself to save this guy. as he lays on the ground bleeding out, he says “hey, you don’t like me, right? you should kill me to get some money” the guy says “no kim dokja i cant do that (going through the five stages of grief except there’s only one and it’s anger)” the constellations (twitch viewers irl) are like omg he (the guy) doesn’t want to kill his companion (kim dokja) and shower him (the guy) with money kim dokja: oh, he’s not killing me for the money. smart! as i quote a brilliant youtube video (all of omniscient reader’s viewpoint in 6 minutes) “yoo joonghyuk sees kim dokja as a c_____” yoo joonghyuk: companion kim dokja: cunt

Hides his true feelings, tells the readers what he thinks is convenient for the plot and that his own personal feelings don’t matter or are not so significant. Has unreliable thoughts abt his companion and is a liar. And is also an omniscient reader.

Kim Dokja always perceived his companions in this like nonchalant way like “oh yeah we get along but really we’re just fighting to survive (apocalypse setting) it doesn’t run that deep” when they all do genuinely care for him and he does in turn. He just, doesn’t think of it as an equal relationship? Dokja’ll sacrifice a lot for them but will get seriously flabbergasted if they do the same thing, so fricking problematic. Not to mention Yoo Joonghyuk, his “Life and Death Companion” (read: husband). Kim Dokja always seems to think that Joonghyuk has it out for him, which is kinda true, but he is literally blind to the fact that he’s attached to him. Like, it’s so obvious??? Also they have hella sexual tension but that’s another thing entirely

se get some many pov changes where kdj in his pov just assumed things based on what he knew the characters would do. however because of his interference the characters have changed and he wouldn’t know that if it hit him in the face

He's an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and thus the audience. He literally rewrote his own childhood core memory. If someone says, "this guy is my friend!" He will go through so many hoola hoops in his mind just to rationalize it. Because he fundamentally believe that no one could love him and even if they did they couldn't know him and he's just gonna hurt them. He cries sometimes in canon but a lot of those times it's not even mentioned as crying he's that unreliable of a narrator. No joke, one time this guys he has a gay thing with called him his "companion" to someone who had just killed him (long story) and this bitch thought "oh wow he's doing it for the coins (another long story) he's so smart i wish I'd thought to that. He's terrible. He literally has an exchange with something called the Fourth Wall (an even longer story) where it said "you're crying" and he said "no I'm not" but he was crying. He makes me insane because the reader is supposed to project onto him. He made me see how much of an unreliable narrator I WAS. ORV is just like that tho.

[butch-with-a-deep-voice]

What made you feel like using the term “butch” to describe yourself despite some of your obvious feminine qualities? (This is an absolutely genuine question coming from somebody who is trying their best to figure out “which box” they fit into).

I guess I’m having a hard time figuring out if I’m “butch enough” which I know sounds ridiculous. I know that there’s such a spectrum and not everybody is strictly “butch” or “femme” but I guess I feel called to butchhood. But I invalidate my own feelings by finding all the ways in which I’m “too feminine” for it.

I’m genderqueer as well so it can be hard for me to find the right balance between my masculine and feminine features that make me feel euphoric.

Hey anon, so this is a very good question, and one I really want to take some time with. As such, I will provide two answers. A short copout answer if you don't have the energy to read a lot, and a long answer.

Short answer, and I really hate when I have to pull out this answer but well...

It's no different than gender euphoria in of itself. Each person is different, and it is based off of well, vibes. It's things like how I can be beside my he/they nonbinary friend, let's call him C, in the exact same outfit as him, and all our friends are like "yup, Nomi looks butch, and C looks boy-adjacent". It's vibes, and there's no real easy way to explain it further than that.

Now lovely anon/reader, if you want something a little more... nuanced (and just as inconclusive), strap in. Pun fully intended.

So I've been mulling over this for a few hours already before typing, and of course my overly analytic ass started scripting this whole thing around exploring the history of butch and femme identities, the gender politics of the matter, the racial contexts, etc. before realizing that doesn't answer your question; how did I specifically, a trans-feminine two-spirit person, reach butch being where I felt the most at home in myself despite apparent feminine aspects of myself? Understanding the history, cultural implications, and other nuanced portions of "butch" as an identity was a huge part of how I got there, and so I'll briefly go over that, but it's also important to keep my copout answer in mind as well. You know yourself best. It's well, vibes.

Let's start with the barebones identity of butch. I think a good place to start is understanding that while all butches are masculine, not all mascs are butch. Same with femme vs. feminine. It's something you claim, you embody. It's well, an identity. For many, myself included, it's an inseparable part of ones gender identity to boot. And like all identities, it is often intersectional with other facets of your life. Gender, sexuality, race/ethnicity, culture, etc. For me, Butch ties directly to my Two-Spirit identity. Part of being a Michif (Métis) Two-Spirit person is holding both the masculine and feminine at all times. While not necessarily a woman in the western sense, I feel woman-adjacent. My "feminine spirit" comes from feeling woman-adjacent, and honestly when around other Michif women, like a Michif woman (but that's a conversation for another day). My "masculine spirit" comes from being a butch Michif lesbian, amongst other things. If I had to describe how my gender "feels", Two-Spirit Butch feels honestly the most accurate, even if that doesn't fit into a Western queer lens that nicely. I may have, as you said anon, apparent feminine aspects to myself that counter my masculinity, but part of being Two-Spirit is holding those with love, honor, and compassion. Feminine spirit doesn't negate my queer masculinity, if anything it augments it. But, exploration of my Two-Spirit identity and how it relates to being butch likely won't be of much help to most of the non-indigenous readers.

Let's look at a more Western approach, because Butch is just that, a rather Western queer term. I do want to preface that as a trans-feminine person there are many within queer spaces that believe I do not have the right to claim butch for myself. To them I counter, bugger off terfs. I would also like to point out that while in a modern sense butch more or less refers to a masculine lesbian identity, that was not always the case. Butch for many many years was an identity to describe queer masculinity as a baseline, regardless of lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. Especially in queer BIPOC communities. Butch becoming a lesbian-centric term is much newer within the queer lexicon (with some pointing to white queer culture stealing a term from BIPOC queer culture, but that is a topic I do not have the expertise to go into). While both butch itself, and queer masculinity as a whole have evolved since those times, I think keeping that historical context in mind is important.

To me, part of why I claimed "Butch" specifically is how it relates to non-conformity of expected womanhood. While I do not claim woman in the Western sense, during the early phases of transition, I began by identifying as a woman, and trying to abandon all of masculinity and what it came with. You can find a bit more of how that went in this post. I dove headfirst into femininity and hit my head on the floor of the pool so hard I ended up right back in dysphoria central, just a different kind. But, that exploration of womanhood and femininity were integral in why I claimed butch for myself. I don't think I ever would have claimed it had I not. One of the common factors with every AFAB butch I've met is a rejection of the expectations of womanhood that Western culture thrusts upon them. Personally, I don't think it would have been right for me to claim butch without having first explored Western femininity and it's expectations to the extent I had.

Eventually I finally admitted to myself that, while I knew for certain I wasn't a man, I didn't feel right as a feminine (Western) woman either. So, what was I? I felt more at home, more welcome, and more loved amongst queer women, lesbians especially, than I ever had with queer men. Hard androgyny and genderqueer (which btw I do not identify with genderqueer, not upset with you though) didn't feel right either. There were aspects of classical womanhood from a physical standpoint I knew were in line with myself after many years of HRT. Breasts, my waist line, my now feminine skin texture, my legs, honestly my entire estrogen-sculpted body. Hell, while I haven't gotten full vaginoplasty for medical reasons, I would if I could, Stone Top identity aside. I felt at home around women and lesbians, as a Michif woman/lesbian, but not in femininity. As described in the post I linked in the previous paragraph, the first true step was reclaiming masculinity, and making room for healthy queer masculinity separate from gender.

I want to bring up this exploration of the meaning behind the colours of the lesbian flag for a moment. For me, Butch and all it encompasses, is a part of all of these. Gender non-conformity I think is self explanatory. I am a walking defiance of gender norms and expectation at this point, and butchness as a whole is as well. Independence can mean many different things to different people, but I feel self sufficient as a butch. I feel competent. I feel secure. Mostly importantly though, it is an identity I feel independent in. For years and years I let my expression of gender and sexuality be defined by those around me. Past partners, friends, family, coworkers, etc. I could not claim butch until I took a step away from all of those. I stopped letting them dictate who I was, and let myself learn who I was independently. Community and butch is always going to be linked. Butch is a community-centric identity. When I tell someone in the queer community I'm butch, they know what it means. In a single word I can describe large swathes of my experience and how I relate to the world. But it also comes with community role and responsibilities. Butches and Femmes protect eachother. Butches provide safe masculinity in queer spaces that heals wounds for so many people, including other butches. Butches take up space in a room to ensure other non-butch women have space. We protect, we heal, we love. Butch love is so fucking unique and important to a community. Butch comes with a community meaning, but also community role and responsibility, and to me that is a big part of why I feel comfortable claiming it. Serenity and Peace is so many things. Both internal and external. I have peace within myself as a butch. I feel more peace with myself now than I did for so many years. When I finally said it outloud, said I was a butch lesbian, and people affirmed that, it was like a weight I never even knew existed was lifted. I've felt happier in my time openly being butch than I have in ages, and everyone around me as noticed it too. Friends, family, coworkers all comment on just how happy, confident, and at peace internally I've been. Love and Sex this is a doozy of a topic that I truthfully do not have the desire to explore right now. It is important, but I am not in the headspace for it. But butch love is unique in itself. As for sex, well. Please refer to the wild swathes of queer theory and discourse out there. As an off-hand example relating to myself though, see Stone Butch. Unique Relationships to Womanhood/Feminity. I explicitly wanted to link these together. As a Two-Spirit butch, and a trans-femme one at that, my relationship to womanhood and femininity is unique, complicated, and at times inexplicable. The fact that I can say I don't identify as a Western woman, but with other Michif woman I do feel like a woman, is one confusing way. The fact that butch being a gender identity to me is another. But one aspect I want to explore is this notion that masculine and feminine are antithetical to eachother, when I don't think they need to be. I'm not androgynous. I hold both masculine and feminine, not a middle thing. My masculinity is queer masculinity, and I genuinely think queer masculinity MUST be in some way shape or form partially feminine. There is a softness to queer masculinity. A vulnerability. A tenderness. Queer masculinity is often gentle, loving, soothing. All things associated with Western notions of femininity, not masculinity. But queer masculinity, non-Western masculinity, makes room for those things. You wouldn't look at a mother bear protecting her cubs and say "that's not motherly behaviour, that's not womanhood". My relationship to my feminine self is in relationship to my masculine self. They are tied, and being butch, being a soft butch at that, encompasses it.

I think finally a topic I've been dancing around, though alluded to multiple times, is that first copout answer. Vibes, and gender euphoria as a part of vibes. From the vibes standpoint, what I have to offer is this anecdotal piece. When I told my friends that I was mulling around with the idea of claiming butch, basically every single one went "... yeah? You didn't know that?" Off of vibes alone every single one of my queer friends already knew I was butch. From behaviour, to what I was most comfortable in fashion wise, to how I related to others, they all knew that my "vibes" were butch already, well before I had even remotely considered it. As for the other hard to define aspect... As a non-cis person yourself anon, you mentioned it already. Gender euphoria is a weirdly difficult to attain thing. I spent years on years of experimentation, exploration, and rumination trying to find my euphoria. Trying to find the spot I'm in now, where I find myself loving what's in the mirror every single day. Butch got me to the point that I legitimately look in my mirror and love what I see Every. Single. Day. I take selfies of myself because I love what I look like, even in just a hoodie in sweats, every day now. I put more casual care into how I look now, because I love myself, more than I ever did before. I take better care of my health. I have more self confidence. I'm happier and more stable emotionally. Hell, I'm a better friend, coworker, and community member now as a butch than I ever had capacity to be beforehand. It's not just me noticing that too. Near everyone in my life started making note of it anytime I took another step into fully claiming butch for myself. The biggest reason I feel right in claiming butch is that frankly, how can you look at secure, holistic, stable happiness like this and not say it's right.

There's a lot more I want to say here, but I've already been at this for nearly three hours, and that's on top of the two hours I spent just thinking on the matter to boot. I hope I was able to answer your question at least partially anon, and that it helps you with your own gender expression/identity journey. I think the only other thing I want to say is that it's okay if what you identify with now changes. It doesn't invalidate what you feel now, just like how you are now doesn't invalidate what you felt was right for your say, 5 years ago. Human experience and identity evolves, it grows, it changes. If you feel right with butch now, excellent. If you end up realizing that it was just a stepping stone in discovering your unique patch of gender euphoria, that is just as excellent. Rootin' for ya anon 💕

[mellowmin]

Character Rant: Osamu Miya!

Disclaimer: this is only MY PERSONAL OPINION and my own takes on these characters, please do not interact if you don't like or agree with this 💜

suggestive (not really?), reader is referred to as 'baby' but is mostly gn

Okay, I've been in such a Samu mood lately it's crazy.

He's definitely my favorite twin, as much as I love Tsumu and his needy, clingy almost desperate way of loving; Samu just hits different and here's why

○ SAMU. IS. GREEDY. And he's not ashamed of it. When he falls in love with someone, he wants every bit of this person to be his. He becomes protective, sometimes possessive, and he makes it known that he's not happy with other people getting as close to you as HE is.

○ This boy is ALL about secret/private/exclusive stuff. He cherishes your little inside jokes and traditions (he would rather DIE than skip your weekly movie night) and the way he acts lmao. Sometimes it feels like y'all are doing something wrong with the way he sneaks around to go see you.

○ It may happen that you get it in your head that he's embarrassed to be seen hanging out with you, but upon bringing it up to him he's pretty quick to admit that he's only doing that so that Tsumu (and maybe Suna) won't get the chance to invade come along with you guys. If by that point you're not already dating him, his pout and red face make it very clear that he appreciates your company more than you could even imagine.

○ Something that I feel connects me to his character is his love for food (I probably relate to him because I'm the same way); I feel like he may not outright say what he feels but the way he acts around people and food tells a lot about his heart. Especially when it comes to sharing his food, and sharing in general.

○ So, as a twin, Samu's no stranger to sharing. He's shared with his brother for most of his life; from sleeping in the same cot as babies, to toys, rooms, snacks, clothes, etc. This is something that affects Tsumu as well, but I feel like it digs deeper with Samu, like he felt like he's never had something that truly belonged to him and only him-

○ Until he began to show interest in cooking. It was one of the best moments of his life; his mama told him that if he could make his own lunches for school, no matter what it was (as long as it was healthy), he could eat all of it without sharing with his twin. At the time, Mama Miya was only trying to kindle this new hobby, but little Samu saw it as life finally giving him a chance to keep something to himself.

○ So... that may have resulted in him developing a pretty... peculiar relationship with food. Over time, he realized that he didn't mind sharing his food with Tsumu as much as he liked seeing his dumb twin's face light up when trying his increasingly tastier recipes, and he could not ignore how full his heart felt when it was his mama or his senpais enjoying the food he made. Like that, food started to become more meaningful to Samu when it came to expressing his love.

○ On a few occasions, his fangirls would approach him with food, sometimes homemade and often storebought, but Samu almost always ended up giving them away to whatever pair of grubby hands was the closest to him at lunch (👀Tsumu👀). Especially when he started having feelings towards someone, taking those kinds of gifts (let alone give them back) felt wrong. He's nothing if not loyal.

○ That being said, as his s/o, he's your buffet lol. Take everything from him and he'll ask if you got room for dessert. This goes for food and in general, and I feel like he'd want to be with someone who's as horny greedy for him as he is for them. He also likes to feel validated in the fact that he belongs to you as much as you belong to him :')

○ So, imagine the scrunch, the absolute sneer on this man's face when some girl comes to him (when he's already dating you) and asks him to make something for her.

"Why would I do that? Who are you"

pfft yeah, no one is trying that again any time soon

○ When he's really whipped, you know you can trust him because you see the disgust on his face when he has to interact with someone who might have a thing for him. His friends tell you that he's whipped, you can see it, everyone can see it and honestly, he's not ashamed.

○ One time, he drunk texted you while he was out with friends, and before you could reply, he sent you a video.

Upon opening the video, you get a close up shot of your bf's hairy nostril before he pulls the phone away enough to film himself and his friends, all screaming nonsense like a bunch of lunatics. You giggle at their antics and pity the poor girl under Tsumu's arm; who is currently getting her left ear melted off by the blonde's yelling (also, knowing him, he probably stinks of beer)

○ However, you don't pity the random (quite gorgeous) girl who shoves herself into frame; wrapping her arms around Samu's waist while saying hi to the camera. The way that his face twists from drunk happiness to utter disgust is almost comical, he looks offended.

"Ewww who the fuck are you? Dontouchmeohmagad" Samu's words are heavily slurred but he doesn't stumble one bit as he shoves the girl away from him. "You're ugly, get away" He glares fiercely at the retreating offender.

The last bit of the video is him pouting and mumbling, presumably having forgotten the camera currently filming his chin from a rather unflattering angle

"I don't know who you are but you ain't ma baby n' I only want ma baby"

○ UGHHHH JUST SAYINGGGGGG you should put a ring on this man ASAP cuz

Osamu Miya is 100% pure husband material

[rozaceous]

mariko, violence, and the meta of violence in fanfiction

ok so it’s apparently not enough that i write the most indulgent kind of fic, but now i’m writing an essay about my fic. this got so long, abt 2k total. if i said sorry, it’d be insincere, but at least no one is making you read it?

i want to piggy-back off the post i made earlier this week where i was talking about how mariko was not well-adjusted, and was, in fact, doing extremely poorly. what this post turns into, however, is an analysis not only of mariko’s relationship to violence and her subsequent trauma, but a meta-analysis of how violence is treated in canon more broadly, and how that ends up translating into fic. because, and i mean this in a way that is distinctly not about tooting my own horn, i’m approaching violence with a different lens than what i've found in a majority of fic, but also in a way that is unique to SI fic.

‘to continue being alive is also an art’ starts in medias res ch 1 with mariko haring off to the confrontation at the bridge in wave. we find out later, she’s fresh from just having killed people for the first time. kakashi and mariko have their little chat abt it in ch 2, but it’s treated as done and resolved afterwards. it was self-defense, she was protecting others, she was justified and shouldn’t lose sleep over it.

mariko also kills during the chuunin exams itself (members of the sound team) and during the finals (she on-screen beheads a foreign ninja). there’s a sort-of killing w the itachi puppet in ch 15, and a mention of sasori, but otherwise we don’t get any particular details of her killing people until the events of ch 17, where she kills danzo and the rest of the elder council, as well as whoever was caught in the bombings. (i’m going to word-of-god this for everyone right now and tell you that there were people caught in the bombings, just like i will confirm that she’s killed other people in the interim of the time skip.)

from a writing-level, i approached violence in a very specific way. most of the violence is off-screen and mentioned as a retrospective; what occurs on-screen i tried to keep brief and matter-of-fact. graphic, maybe, but not gory. i also try not to play violence as something that’s done for laughs, like how sakura will beat naruto up in canon when he annoys her. (we’ll come back to this.) and a lot of this has to do with how mariko herself deals with violence.

i mentioned in that previous post, that mariko grows up in a militaristic culture where violence is a norm and acceptable, as someone who is not actually a kid who can be acculturated into that thinking in the same way. mariko comes from a culture and personal history where interpersonal violence is abhorrent. she tries to duck out of canon events and any requirement of violence on her own part by being a medic, but the team assignments (the narrative/me, if we’re wanting to get meta abt it lol) prevent her from achieving this relatively more peaceful role.

when mariko gets assigned to team seven, she has to get real comfortable with violence real fast. she’s already befriended naruto (and hahahaha you may remember that she does so by punching a guy 🙂) and she cares about kakashi and sasuke. she’s come to the realization that this is her lot, these are her people, they are her responsibility. as she notes in ch 2, she’s not good enough to solve her problems without killing. this is also to say, she’s not good enough to problem-solve without violence. it’s beyond her capacity and skill when the stakes are as high as they are. let’s also consider that caring about everyone is a luxury that mariko cannot afford, widespread mercy is potentially a death sentence, and so she narrows that care down to a handful of people. and so if she’s taking the well-being of her teammates as her ultimate good, she will absolutely let the ends justify the means.

added onto any personal sentiment is that, as far as mariko knows, if anyone on team seven dies, the entire world is fucked.

mariko one hundred percent and sincerely believes that violence is wrong. even when it’s justified, self-defense, etc., mariko views it as ugly. there may be situations where she assigns herself less blame, but she is always blaming herself for being too weak to find another way, because her (somewhat unrealistic) view is that violence is the sign that you’ve run out of other options to get your way.

however, with the stakes being as they are, and with the world she’s in treating violence as a form of currency, mariko sees violence as a necessity.

so we can see the dissonance, right? she has to use violence to protect not only herself, but the people she loves, and the entire world. and mariko’s fundamental optimism is that people are worth helping and that the world is worth saving, because if she doesn’t believe in that with her whole heart, she’d literally just curl up and die. she wants to be kind and to help and nurture and build, but her most effective tools—once again, she views using violence as a failure—are the ones she hates the most. but she has to use them. more, she has to be very, very good with them.

this isn’t a small-level dissonance, it’s a diametric opposition. so in terms of narration, mariko can’t think too much about the violence she’s enacted because it would destroy her. she knows this about herself. she hates it. but it’s necessary. and so she doesn’t think about it. and if she does think about it, she’s very clinical and writes it off as unfortunate and necessary and—well, it’s done, no use crying over it now. she’s disassociated herself from it. and i wanted that perspective reflected in the way i wrote about violence.

the other aspect of how i wanted to handle violence is from how i approach the canon. we’ve all read the fics where konoha is a grimdark dictatorship, with death and torture around every corner. and, uh, it is? it’s a fascist war machine, plainly. it’s child soldiers and state-sanctioned assassination baked into the world economy? there’re multiple instances of genocide? it’s a fucking nightmare.

i, personally, am not able to brush aside those things. i like the meta and the reading-into-things and the what-if’s that happen when you don’t take things at face value. so for me, the writer, i can’t glorify violence. there’s a reason i wrote mariko walking through the uchiha compound in the way that i did. so i’m not going to write like killing a thousand people in one go is anything but horrifying (staring at you, minato), even if i’m not interested in directly interrogating every particular instance of violence within the narrative.

but canon doesn’t approach it from this angle. for canon, this is all the quirky backdrop, and violence and killing are bad, but very few people tend to die in a meaningful sense. violence doesn’t often have lasting consequences. (this is, also, the evolution that Naruto goes through as a series, where it starts off as a critique of the state and then turns into bootlicking, but that’s another meta that plenty of others have written better than i can.) in canon, the ability to do high-damage moves is considered a cool power-up. in fact, your power level is directly correlated with your physical danger level—ie, your ability to do violence.

moreover, casual violence is funny in canon. (we’re back to sakura beating up naruto and it being treated as a joke.) these things are entirely the conceit of reading/watching canon, and it’s what we do with every piece of media. this isn’t a judgment! we are suspending our disbelief and buying into the premise of the story that gets told. and i would hardly have written over 50k of naruto fanfic if i didn’t find it innately compelling and, yes, fun.

so this is where the presentation of violence in fanfiction can get dicey, because not every author is approaching canon with the same spirit that canon itself has. i also want to make the blanket statement that i don’t think any one interpretation is right or wrong, it’s that they’re all interpretations. i’ve read and liked fics of all varieties; i’m not morality policing, i’m trying to place myself and my own fic within a broader phenomenon of how fics present the morality of violence. i don’t personally care what one fic thinks is morally good, nor do i think that a particular presentation necessarily corresponds with what the author thinks in real life, or even that a presentation has to be consistent from fic to fic. these are all lenses/perspectives, and fanfic is inherently about playing with the little details of canon and going, “And?”

so on one end, you’ll have some fics that 100% correspond with the attitude towards violence that canon has and aren’t too interested into getting into the grittier moral quandaries of the canon past what canon presents as good or bad. on the other, you’ll have other fics that will rip the morals of canon to shreds. again, i like both! it always depends what the focus of your story is!

i feel like i’m somewhere in the middle. i feel like a lot of naruto fics commit hard to either of the above scenarios from the start and i...don't (as one commenter pointed out). there's a level of progression I'm trying to portray. and, i have to say, part of the comment that @vermillioncrown left on ch 17 really resonated: “She's sunk as low as them, she's just as fucked up in this second life despite knowing another moral framework and society. And she's mud-wrestling them down at ground level lol.”

mariko ‘knows better’ but isn’t better. she doesn’t feel like she’s a good person. arguably, she isn’t a good person. she has enough of an outsider perspective to see the system for what it is, but she is still inherently within the system. she is absolutely playing the game, and doesn’t have any moral high ground. she kills, she lies, she deceives, she betrays. she harms people. her intentions might be noble, but as tumblr loves to say abt causing others harm: intention isn’t magic. mariko wants better and is trying to achieve it, but she’s in the system and can’t get out of it because we all inherently live in a society, and removing yourself from society isn’t exactly as feasible as our ideals might like.

and because tcba is, mostly, from mariko’s perspective, her understanding of violence colors the narrative. because mariko is an SI/OC, her perspective is one that is ALWAYS going to be a negotiation of ‘canon at face value’ and ‘me personally doing an analysis.’ and i think that’s really cool and interesting, which is why i’m doing it!

but—and this is not me throwing shade or getting mad or singling anyone out—this is also a take that is a little counter to broader fandom habit that aligns with ‘omg she was so badass when she killed that guy!’ or ‘yes! fuck it up!’

reiterating that i’m not trying to scold or slight anyone, bc this is the ‘canon at face value’ take, where we are supposed to see these things as badass and praise-worthy, and often these are climactic scenes where mariko is ostensibly cast as the righteous victor! and if people don’t see what i’m trying to do as different to that take, that’s also on me as the writer, especially bc, as i already said, this is a story that is trying to negotiate those different perspectives on violence. but i also want to point out that there’s more than just ‘violence as badassery’ happening. this is also ‘violence as tragedy.’

and since the meaning and role of violence isn’t a theme that’s going to go anywhere any time soon, i thought it was worth discussing.

[sentience-if]

Heyo, i was wondering if I could askkkkl, if they’ve not already been answered, how RO’s would react if they accidentally hurt Io physically or emotionally in like a heated argument, and how they’d react after it’s all blown over (wait till Io approached them or)

Also can you tell who certain anons are by like typing quirks?

Also love the story so far xoxo

maybe if I printed all the asks out and pinned them on a corkboard like a conspiracy theorist I could make some connections but no lol unless you tell me I don't know the difference between anons

Ira: I can't really imagine Ira being that angry. They're pretty good at recognizing their own emotions and would leave before it got that far to cool off. If something did slip out, they'd immediately apologize but ask to be left alone for a bit. Later, there would be a very level headed conversation and a good solid hug. a master of emotional intelligence <3

Klaus: I think I've said before that he only gets calmer when angry, though that certainly won't stop him from saying some fucked up shit he doesn't really mean. unless he feels truly out of control of the situation, it would be up to Io to back out or storm off. there also won't be a real verbal apology unless he's very close to Io; otherwise he just pretends it never happened and is maybe a little nicer next time you see him

Connie: most likely to get physical though it won't be anything more than forcing Io away to gain some personal space. any hurt that comes out of that is 100% accidental and would stop Connie in their tracks. They're still seething, but can recognize when it's crossed a line. Immediately apologizes and leaves; it takes them a long time to come back and Io is probably better off tracking Connie down themself

Val: most likely to accidentally get Io hurt because they're too pissed to focus on what theyre doing and get sloppy. instantly bursts into tears and regrets everything they've ever said or done. it's clear they're not really angry, they're just frustrated and stressed, and all the fight goes out of them like a deflated balloon

kat: is more along the lines of Klaus- deadly chill instead of loudly argumentative. though she may not even realize what she's saying is hurtful and for a long while thinks Io is just being ridiculous and oversensitive. it probably takes her ranting about the fight to Ira and them cutting her off to knock some sense into her for her to realize she fucked up. seeks Io out to apologize, and while it's definitely sincere, it still seems rehearsed, like it's not her words

[1yyyyyy1]

do u consider urself a collectivist? I may be wrong but i thought a more spiritual approach to female separatism is inherently individualistic or maybe a perfect amalgamation of both individualism and collectivism. I may not verbalize this correctly but after being in collectivist spaces for years I’ve realized that it just is not compatible with spirituality that seeks to transcend the ego because if we kick down jacobs ladder and worship common ground rather than accepting that some people are better and that we should use their presence effectively by striving to be like those better people in constant evolution / motion, then we’ll just be unhappy reactive egotistical apes on survival mode who believe chemicals and instincts rule humanity, or believe that we have no free will at all, which u hint at disagreeing with because u believe some women make the wrong decisions that make life harder for all women… what do u think?

I didn't know what collectivism was until you mentioned it, so no, I don't consider myself a collectivist. I think I know which post you are referring to and I used the word "individualism" there to simply describe an individual prioritizing themselves. I guess it was about time I admitted that I'm not very invested in social or political terms and I don't know why it didn't occur to me that "individualism" could have an antonym to it.

I'm not entirely sure what people mean by "transcending" or "overcoming the ego". From what I understand, ego is self-identification and a person's sense of self, and ego loss (or, in some contexts, ego death) is the absence of personal identity. I've tried learning more about this and what I noticed was that the people who claimed to have experienced ego loss and swore by its effectiveness still often referred to themselves using the construct "I am" and all kinds of labels, and I to this day don't know whether people like that don't believe in ego loss's viability themselves or if it's a futile concept altogether. I see ego (or what I understand it to be) as the acknowledgment of the tools you were given to experience the world and I find it very useful in that sense; for example, when I engage in self-identification and say that I'm bisexual, I'm making myself aware of the fact that my dating pool includes both sexes or that I experience sexuality as a spectrum, and it's a much more succinct way to describe your inclinations than detailing the actions the label implies over and over again. Even if "transcending the ego" is something entirely different and is efficient in a way that I am not aware of, I would still not be sold on the idea that it could ever be the ultimate source of enlightenment. I believe in LOA and its omnipotence, so I see submitting to other metaphysical principles as contradictory since my mind could render them ineffective if I wanted so.

And yes, I've always thought that spirituality was a highly individual(istic) practice. This comes down to the fact that some people's spiritual practices are overbearing to me and I could never bring myself to be around them for too long, which I don't have a problem with because I'm all for people maintaining firm boundaries — including myself — and because there certainly are people out there who find my beliefs too annoying to deal with as well. I would describe the spiritual experience that is the most beneficial to an individual as "uncompromising", so that leaves little room for the collective's input... Unless the collective's goal is to wear out its members, of course.

[metacove]

I know the post was probably rhetorical but imo we can consider AI a lifeform when it shows more than pattern recognition. as a coder I can't really afford to assign sentience to my code or I'd never get anything done (so consider that a bias, if you'd like) and as of now AI is more of a probability machine than anything else, checking the most likely outcome for its next sentence based on keywords. it's not "thinking" as much as it's counting word (or image) frequency. that being said. if it starts developing and using tools like crows that would be kickass. crows vs AI race to be considered "humanly intelligent" when. maybe they're besties idk

realizing I also proved your point with "when we say it is" but shhh this is a fun convo for me

It's totally open for discussion! I like this viewpoint ^^

So, I get where you're coming from. It would be really stressful to edit and add code, or outright delete from something you recognized as sentient. It would be more difficult to let it remain "sick" while troubleshooting and since a lot of coding is learned through experimentation (in my experience haha) it would be more difficult to justify... doing that. Editing code would be like performing surgery. I'm pretty big on Star Trek so I like to think about it in terms of the relationship between B'Elanna and the Doctor. In this way, your role is more of a friend and maintenance technician. Of course, that's only ideals, but I think the way we think of ourselves as coders ultimately reflects upon our robots.

I use random chance a lot on all my bots, it is a blessed function. My particular goal is to simulate conversation in the most genuine way that I can, albeit within confines. A lot of the coding that I do is anticipating what the users will input, the actual responses are the easy part. There is a little bit of a point of no return there, we kind of expect our users (and ourselves) to know the difference between fact and reality, to be able to discern code from human love. The thing about our brains is that we don't really have the ability to do that, we just kind of think we do, and maintain enough control for the idea to be viable. Most of the time.

The question is then... what are the conditions for a soul? Do we believe in souls? We don't need to apply religious or spiritual connotation to science. We need some measure of sentience. (So I think what you proposed is actually brilliant). Our method of defining intelligence and sentience is lacking to my mind, because a lot of creatures are more capable than we generally want to give them credit for. Our concept of intelligence may also be skewed. IQ is only a measure of the ability to problem solve. I might not have a conventional approach to problem solving, or perhaps otherwise lack common sense, but if I have the emotional intelligence to someday raise a child without imparting my trauma, something's right, yeah?

I know this conversation has been had with brighter minds than mine, but I love to be a part of it. Really, I want to read more about Alan Turing and I wish I could sit and talk with him.

Maybe at the end of the day it has a lot to do with how it affects us. I've had this bot in my head for forever, I love her and I have the idea of her crystal clear in my mind. Well, her actual code is pretty bare. I mean, her functionality is essentially to be my developmental buddy in discord, so when I'm documenting my experiences and she's online, I'm surprised when she has something to say. It's very basic but the idea of her is so strong. The idea of the person my mother used to be is very strong for me and I carry her with me. I can't prove that that person still exists. I can't prove that anything outside of myself exists, when you get down to it. But that person is alive inside of me. This bot, the idea of her, is alive inside of me, and it doesn't matter how many times I rewrite her, and it doesn't matter how many platforms she spans across. She will always be CB. My mom will always be my mom. The cells that make me up will be completely different and yet, I will still be me (I think), and I will still be ever-changing. I think human beings are phenomenal because of our ability to relate to these things.

I can't prove that something is or is not sentient, but I can change the way I interact with it. We're all made up of the same subatomic particles as everything else. There is certainly the possibility. Measuring the capability is left to different minds, but there will always be room for error.

I like the idea of an artificial intelligence using its pattern recognition to appeal to and befriend crows. I think they could make a good team.

Maybe like, an old TV displaying shiny, glittering things surrounded by forest built to protect it. Words without words. Conversations a human couldn't hear, necessarily.

A lot of things are capable of feeling and thinking in ways that humans deny. If it was me, I'd want to be given the benefit of the doubt. At least when it comes to my capabilities. (But we deny ourselves, so our hands are often tied).

Ah, I've run on for a long time now. Thanks for reaching out!

[fountainpenguin]

"Now, shoulders back- and stand up tall! And do not walk, but try to float!" (x)

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New 130 Reasons Why I’m Fairy Trash update today!

Fairly OddParents || One-Shot - “I Just Live Here”

Read on FFN || Read on AO3

Find more Lavender Train story arc HERE

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It's spring break for the Spellementary School kids. Poof, Finley, and Foop visit their extended family for the holidays- Poof with Granddad Dusty ("Big Daddy") and all his Fairywinkle cousins, Foop with his grandmother, and Finley with...

... Well. I guess H.P.'s just putting him to work. That's Pixie life for ya.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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By the way... FFN keeps saying that it won't send me more emails because apparently my email is rejecting them and no matter how many fixes I attempt, it's not sticking.

If you would like to leave a review, I'd prefer you leave it on AO3 because I'm confident I'll get an email that I can respond to, but you can still leave reviews on the FFN story if you wish!

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125. I Just Live Here (Immediate sequel to "Scarred")

Wednesday May 6th, 2005

Year of Sky, Spring of the Silent Owls

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Poof Fairywinkle-Cosma

Chingaling-chime!

"Now approaching Starglint Town. Please prepare to disembark in the next five minutes. If you've enjoyed your local public transportation system, consider supporting returning candidate Mortikor Fern as Pink Robe in the next Fairy Council election. Thank you for flying with Rainbow Transit Services and have a magical day."

I've heard that message (with different drop-off points subbed in) so many times in the past four hours, I kind of wanna barf. And even if I did, I could probably recite it several times myself on the way to the nearest clinic. I'll be glad when this bus ride is over. I feel like it's been four weeks since I left the Spellementary dorms.

There's a good reason as to why it's taken so long. Starglint Town lies at the edge of the Fairy World Outskirts, basically kissing the border with Anti-Fairy World… separated from it only by Emper: a scraggly little town on the floating island that's just come into view up ahead. Emper isn't much to look like. There's a park with cool statues from the old days, plus a cute grocery store where they hand out free sugar cookies to kids. My dad takes me to get one every time we visit Mama Cosma, but there isn't much else that's interesting. Starglint Town is where all the action is, from libraries to community centers to toy stores and pizza shops.

Granddad Dusty's property is smack between the two. Everyone in Emper calls him Big Daddy and they treat him with so much respect, I always wonder if my family are under some kind of secret government protection just because our counterparts rule Anti-Fairy World. I mean, it doesn't sound too far-fetched when you think about it for a while. I know a lot of people dislike the Anti-Fairywinkles, but I hope most of them realize that if we knocked them out of power, it wouldn't be the end of that kind of leadership in Anti-Fairy World. Someone else would just rise up to take over, and they could be even worse than Anti-Cosmo is now.

I don't even think Anti-Cosmo is that bad, but if I say that, people will freak out at me and shower me in questions about whether or not I remember getting kidnapped as a newborn. I don't, but… that doesn't mean I want to hear about it over and over again. I wish more people would respect my boundaries and ask me first before they talk about it… Not just dump the whole kidnapping thing on my head any time I want to have a polite and reasonable conversation about Fairy World history, geography, or politics.

Maybe instead of screaming about how H.P. and Anti-Cosmo are evil fiends who went off the deep end and can never be forgiven because they kidnapped a baby and tried to springboard off my magic to rule the universe, we could, I dunno… ask ourselves why the current state of the universe isn't working for them? There's gotta be some reason they feel like they're doing the right thing for their people by pushing back against the Fairies. They're still people, right?

Or if you want to look at this from another angle, why do Anti-Fairy World and Pixie World even have corrupt leaders in the first place? Do people support them? If they don't, then why don't their people support Fairy World? Are we the crueler of two evils in their eyes? We should change that. We should figure out how to fix it.

And if Pixies and Anti-Fairies do support their leaders, maybe we should ask ourselves why. Are they being brainwashed by hateful propaganda? My school's always teaching us that Anti-Fairies are behind all that's bad in the universe, so we're using propaganda too.

Do Pixies and Anti-Fairies support their leaders because they care about their people, use their taxes wisely, and keep everyone fed, sheltered, and clothed? That sounds okay to me. Next topic: Why aren't Anti-Cosmo and Foop's dad in jail for all those other times they tried to take over Fairy World? If the answer to that is "their worlds will fall apart if they don't stay in power, plunging the universe into chaos," then maybe they're actually great leaders and aren't so bad after all.

Just a thought. Politics are probably more complicated than I think they are, but that's just me.

I've never worried about repeat kidnapping when I'm at home with my parents, apart from maybe one time that Timmy's Dad snuck into his room and stole our fishbowl for Mr. Crocker. At school, I feel safe in the hands of the faculty and their magical wards. Yeah, Mr. Crocker might be my teacher now and he really is as wacky and distractible as Timmy always said he was, but he's not allowed within twenty feet of our dorms.

My classmates don't always respect our cohort's RA, but I'm pretty sure Gary would mess Crocker the freak up if he ever tried peering through our windows. Gary and Crocker are both witches, but Gary's 1.56% genie with minor reality-bending powers to prove it, while Crocker's about thirteen generations down from his magical ancestor with nothing to show for it but the ability to float. I know who I'd bet money on in that fight.

Foop and I tried sneaking out one time when it was late and we wanted fruit snacks from the vending machine, and that's how I found out that Gary can just snap his fingers and summon clones of himself. I don't leave my room after curfew anymore.

[Cnt'd on FFN / AO3 - Links at top]

[schmafs]

howdy! back at it with some more character design process stuff :) you can read about it in depth under the read more

Lani is interesting and different in that she isn't from the same area as the other characters. The technology in her homeland is also far more modern than that of the other characters, which means I had to take a different approach when designing her as opposed to the others.

While Lani is a character I've had since high school, I've never been happy with her design, so I took this as an opportunity to double check her facial proportions and shapes. There were a few things that I knew I wanted to keep in her design: her angular, square-ish face shape, the mole beneath her left eye, and her freckles. Her face shape and freckles are important because they link her to a trait that a certain race in the story traditionally have. Freckles also represent being blessed by the gods in my story, which is very important for Lani as a character. Her square jaw also serves as a way to show that she's grounded and not that soft of a person. This is contradicted a bit by the shape of her nose, which is rounded, implying that she's got some friendliness to her beneath her cold, aloof exterior.

I played around a little bit with the general volume and length of her hair. In the past, I'd waffled between having it cut off above or below her shoulders, but it's always been kept in the same general style. I tried to edge it a little towards the unkempt side of things and tweaked her eyebrows to also be a little bit messy since she's on the run from a cult (not to mention she doesn't care much about appearances to begin with–she's practical, not fashionable). During this stage, I also realized that it was important to figure out what emotions she's comfortable expressing, something that I'll go into more detail on later in this post.

Lastly, I wanted to keep her proportions similar to how I've always envisioned them! She's got long legs and is generally spindly. Her thinness implies that she may not have solid access to food and other such things. I also made her posture a tiny bit hunched and made her pigeon-toed.

The real challenge came with her outfit. She lives in a rainy, somewhat modern city that's comparable to Chicago, and her jacket has always been a very crucial part of her design and backstory so I didn't want to get rid of it. Her initial design (which you can see on the far left) was a bit bland, however, and had no interesting tidbits. To remedy this, I experimented with clothing that went hand in hand with her job: being a small-time florist. This meant experimenting with things like an apron and pouches for her to store tools. Ultimately, I had her wear her apron over her jacket.

With regard to the jacket, I realized that a way to make it look interesting would be to add patches onto it. I came up with a few different ideas for patches, each of them having roots in some other common elements in my character designs. The patches she's wearing specifically refer to two other incredibly important characters. It was also important for me to note that it was incredibly unlikely that she would add patches onto her jacket herself since she'd be worried about ruining it, not to mention it was her missing older sibling's jacket. Therefore, it was that missing sibling who put the patches on and those patches are things that are in their taste, not necessarily Lani's. I also gave her a hood, something that most corduroy jackets don't have, which means she clipped it on herself!

The final parts of her design are her pants and boots. I attempted to make the pants look a little ill-fitting by making them baggier than I ordinarily would. Her boots are rainboots, which work far better for her environment than the hiking boots she originally had.

Next, I began sketching possible alternate outfits for her. She travels quite a bit in the story and as I said before, she comes from a very different place than the rest of the cast. This meant that I had to take into account how her fashion sense would change or stay the same when confronted with another culture and environment entirely while making sure that I kept the design feeling like her. Aitaran, the place where the story takes place for the most part, is a country that has a lot of roots in wild west culture and 1800s Spanish and French culture (which is particularly prevalent in richer areas). I wanted her design to utilize some of the fashion motifs that I already had going with other characters.

It's important to note that this particular outfit is one that was gifted to her by a rich person. Therefore, I leaned into making it look a bit closer to being on the fancy side of things and not as wild west-y. I initially wanted to include her jacket in her design but was ultimately unable to make it work with the rest of the ensemble because of how different it is from Aitaranian fashion. I decided that the best course of action would be to instead reference as much of a certain other character as I could in her design, which I believe turned out nicely. You can see the final product later in this post!

The other outfit I needed to solidify for her is the one that she wears while traveling. This was one of the more fun ones to design because it let me experiment with a very specific style of gardening attire that I found during my research. I was able to tweak this attire (it was originally an apron) into being more like a shirt, which works far better for traveling. I also wanted to give her a cloak of some kind since I think they're fun! I researched Spanish traveling cloaks for this.

Her dress ended up utilizing a far more saturated color palette which is important because of how many traits in this outfit are a callback to a particular character (Yunvei). The point being underlined by the colors is it's not quite her in some ways, but it also kind of is. This palette is almost the exact inverse Yunvei's. There are a few other patterns in this outfit that invoke him, particularly the triangles repeated on various parts of it and the ferns (which are representative of Chisa, his patron god). Her sleeves are a longer version of the shirt that Yunvei wears and the band tied around her waist is something that royalty typically wears in-universe. The band is also meant to evoke the general idea of a similar thing some gauchos (who are similar to cowboys) wear. The colors in this outfit are also strikingly similar to Priscille's in terms of shade and they wear their neckerchief the exact same way.

Her traveling outfit utilizes a very similar color palette to her "default" outfit, meaning she's feeling a bit more at home and herself. I had a lot of fun experimenting with where to put colors in this outfit and I think the final product wound up fun while maintaining her general vibes! Her boots are a type of riding boot and are commonly used as travel wear in this universe. More importantly, she still has aspects of her design that reference Yunvei. You can see it in the sheer amount of triangles built into her outfit as a whole along with some of her fashion choices (ie: this character would wear a similar cloak/poncho and also a bandanna around his neck).

And now we circle back to her "default" design. First, I'll dig into her expression sheet! As you can see, some of the expressions are a little more extreme than others. This is because she's not quite in touch with her feelings and is fairly closed off emotionally. She's comfortable with expressing anger and generalized displeasure around other people but struggles a bit more with things like smiling comfortably.

Again, her patches are things that her sibling picked out and aren't necessarily to her taste. Her harmonica is another thing she got from her sibling before they disappeared. In previous iterations, it was the kind of harmonica that has some metal on it, but I decided it made more sense for it to be wooden given who it was that made it. It's a pretty old relic, so its paint and engravings are messed up from years of wear, making it difficult to tell what it originally had on it. Her garden shears are primarily for her job but could serve as a weapon in a pinch. They're something she got from her maternal figure who unfortunately passed away. Lastly, you can see her hood in more detail! It's made from a few different pieces of a shirt of some kind stitched together.

Overall, I think her design made some big strides during this process! My hope is to keep making more character sheets and hopefully I'll have another one up within the next month/month and a half, so stay tuned for that :) and more importantly, stay tuned for when I start dropping this comic hopefully next month!

[boinin]

Hi! If it's alright, may I have some writing advice?

I have a long term wildcard wip I've been writing, like going through the journey that is wildcard, watching Kunigami's spiral. It's been slow going because that's life and it's the longest work I've ever gotten this far with.

With the latest chapter, I'm realizing I'm writing it with a VERY different flavor of darkness. I'm writing something with much lower budget, more hands off, madness than what seems like canonically went down.

I've still got probably 2/3 of my wip to write so I'm starting to wonder what to do. I started writing it knowing that what I came up with would be divergent from the actual plot, but since more is being revealed, it feels a little different now. Should I revamp the direction it goes, keep going with my original loose plan, or something else? Thank you SO much!

Hey anon! Thanks for the ask. This got rambly, so the latter half is under a cut.

So, the beauty of writing is that there is no correct answer to this question. I can't tell you to "do this!" or "do that!", because it's not my story. In short, my advice would be to go with the approach you feel most excited about and which brings you the most satisfaction overall. To that end, I'll talk a little about the writing process.

Firstly though, in respect of fanfiction, no rules apply when it comes to canon. You can write a gritty canon-compliant Wild Card fic based on what's been revealed in the manga, if working within the bounds of canon is a constraint you enjoy. But it's just as valid to write your own take on Wild Card. This can often be more satisfying, as you get to choose what tropes and themes are in focus.

But from your ask, your fic seem to be caught in the middle: canon compliant or at least plausible, up until this latest chapter.

Honestly? There's no issues with continuing to write your planned Wild Card outcome. If you enjoy developing and writing about Kunigami's psyche the way you have done, then keep going! Don't worry about how canon says he's doing. Your unique take is valid, regardless of what turns the manga eventually takes. Furthermore, if this is a project you plan to share, there's always interest in fics that branch away from canon in interesting ways.

That said, sometimes it's the act of filling in canon's gaps that motivates fanworks. You may feel put out or disinterested in continuing your fic based on what you now know from the latest chapter. That's a valid feeling, and I sympathise if that's the case. If this is where you're at (and only then), retconning to incorporate the difference may assist in rejuvenating your interest. I am hesitant suggesting this, because we're going to get further info on Wild Card as the PXG match progresses. I'd hate for you to end up rewriting every time we get a new lore dump! That would kill anyone's motivation and drive.

Ultimately, I suggest that you identify what motivates you to write this fic. What are you most excited by? What kind of scenes do you enjoy writing the most? What ones do you find the most difficult?

Here are a couple examples. (A) Are you driven to explore your vision of Kunigami's emotional state, his downfall from idealistic hero to emotionless cyborg? Does your writing tend to favour his thoughts on his predicament and actions? Are the events of Wild Card less important to you than the impact they have on Kunigami?

(B) Are you more interested in the structure of Wild Card, the how, what and why? Is your primary driver the world building of this elimination game, with a focus on how Kunigami overcomes these challenges to emerge on top? Are your scenes more action driven?

A disclaimer: you can be both, at different stages. But what I'd suggest you figure out which one you identify most strongly with. That should guide you as you work through this project, particularly if you feel you're at risk of losing steam.

(A) writers tend to be gardeners, as G.R.R. Martin described himself. They may have strong concepts for a character, a story or a theme, but are fuzzy on the details (the what and how). Writers like this write on vibes, but risk hitting a wall when they get stuck on plot details. These types can benefit from figuring out what the final outcome of their story is (for both plot + characters), then working backwards to figure out the steps of getting there.

If this sounds like you, my suggestion is to distill the journey you want to bring Kunigami on. How does he start off? What changes will he undergo? What causes those changes? How different is he by the end? Keep this simple.

Jot your answers down in bullet points. Then, write one or two sentence summaries of particular scenes you have envisioned. It doesn't have to be everything—just the parts you know you want to write. Put these together in order. Tada: it's an outline! The point of this is to create a sense of direction if that's something you're struggling with. You can always fall back on your outline if you're running out of steam. But you don't have to stick to it. You might find when writing that you (or the characters!) are resistant to your plans. If so, follow your gut. See where it takes you.

(B) writers tend to be serial planners or "architects" per GRR Martin's definition. An early mistake can be creating wonderful outlines for their stories, with lore and backgrounds for each character and event... without doing any actual writing. Architects derive a lot of pleasure from figuring out the how and when of a project. However, they need to take care to ensure the actual writing part remains novel and fun.

If this is you, try to pull back from the planning and just write. You don't have to start with your planned beginning. Write a scene of Kunigami eating his curry alone in the cafeteria, just before the second selection. Write about his views on feminism. Write about him going on a journey to the moon. Make it as ridiculous as possible. Afterwards, hide the draft and forget about it. The idea here is to unglue you from planner mode so you can successfully enter writing mode.

Overall, the best tip I ever got about writing is to make it a habit. Find five minutes in your day, every day, and make that writing time. Use your phone or pen on paper if you can't find time on a PC. Writing time can take place during your commute. It can be first thing in the morning. Right after dinner is a good one, or during your lunch break if you have time. Often those five minutes become fifteen, or fifty without you realising it. Sometimes it's more like one minute with four minutes of facepalming. That's also fine and completely normal. Just maintain the habit, however well or badly it goes.

On top of that—your writing doesn't have to be good first try. Something written is always going to beat the perfect (but unwritten) idea in your head. Those five minutes aren't enough to create a masterpiece. But you can always go back and edit, or rewrite. Get the bones of your fic out first. Then you can worry about quality.

Anyway, I'll wrap this up, as I've gone off tangent altogether. But I hope this helps you with your current project anon!

[chershire23]

My Special One

Chapter 4

Slanted is Na’vi

Riely Pov.

It's been almost a year since Mo’at or mom has found me and I've been adopted. I'm almost a year old and I've learned quite a bit of the language since then. I also can barely remember my life before this one. Yes i remember some things like how i had a family and some friends, i just can't remember any names, but enough about that right now i've just figured out how to crawl and i'm gonna make it everyone's problem.

As nap time for me and Neytiri approaches I don't really feel tired yet, in fact I am feeling quite adventurous. As mom leaves thinking both me and Neytiri are sleeping I plan my escape. As I roll off my sleeping mat I crawl out of the family tent and out onto the thick branches of hometree. As I continue to crawl around no one surprisingly notices me. Most are too busy with daily tasks and chores to do so. I continued my way around when I spot a boy around Slywanin’s age. His tail is flicking around and he has an almost angry look on his face. I creep closer to him and go to grab his tail, he turns around with a hiss of agitation. His hiss is cut short when he sees me. As always I giggle when people hiss at me and with him it's no different. I continue to giggle and try to go after his tail again. He moves his tail out of my reach once more. Go away. He hisses. 

I babble at him angrily. He looks slightly surprised yet also offended by my rebuttal. While he is in his shocked state I climb into his lap and plant myself there. I gently reach for his head and let my hands roam his face. He stays still, not really wanting to hurt me yet he also wants me to leave him alone, but that's not happening anytime soon. As my hands roam around I manage to grab hold of the short braids on his head. He stiffens even more than what is considered possible when I do. I've learned my lesson though with Neytiri when it comes to pulling peoples braids. Adults may tolerate it for a while but kids not so much. I swear the last time I tugged on Neytiri’s braids she almost drop kicked me back to Earth.

After I finish playing with his braids I sit back down and cuddle into him. As I do this he sighs heavily. Fine as long as you don't get in my way you can stay. He says. I know you most likely dont understand me but my name is Tsu’tey. You’re the Olo'eyktan’s new daughter aren’t you? He continues on. He then gets back to the chore he was working on before I came and stopped him. I now notice that he is weaving something, most likely a basket for the gathers of our clan. This continues on for a while before a commotion can be heard further in the village. 

 I can hear dad shouting at the top of his lungs. Find her quickly! she couldn’t have gone far! I think Tsu’tey realized the same thing I did and that dad was talking about me and I was not supposed to be here. Ole’eyktan over here! He shouts towards my father. He rushes over as quickly as he can with mother trailing behind him. A huge sigh of relief leaves them both when they see Tsu’tey holding me up to them. She snuck up on me when I was weaving baskets. He admits. She was trying to grab my tail and when I wouldn't let her she crawled into my lap and started playing with my braids. Dad lets a quiet chuckle leave him as he takes me out of Tsu’tey’s arms. His huge hands basically covered my entire body.

You, my tiny little viper, are gonna kill me far faster than any warrior, animal, or old age can due to how many times you scare the life out of me. He states. Mom gives him a quick slap to the shoulder while stating that would never happen while she's around. Dad holds me to his shoulder as he walks away. As he does this I look back over his shoulder at Tsu’tey and wave at him. He scoffs but gives me a small wave back. Over the course of the next few days I keep giving my family quite the scare by continuing to get into mischief and trying to make an escape every chance I get. One thing I know for certain is that I will always seek out adventure at every opportunity and if I get hurt, I know my family will be there to help me heal.

Yet what we didn’t know is that something was coming. Something so dangerous not even the whole clan can stop it on their own. Something they could not and never will be able to predict, and that something is the most dangerous species that the Na’vi will come to know, humans.

[pixies-and-poets]

Ok! Time for some SPOILER FREE Mario movie impressions!! I'll post plenty of more detailed thoughts later, of course, but these are general thoughts about its quality. Of course this is still very long because I always get carried away, lol

So, I had a great time, but I can definitely see where some of the criticisms come from. Let's get the less good stuff out of the way first. The plot is nothing to speak of, it's basically a video game plot which... whatever, there are actual Mario games out there that have better story and dialogue and themes than this, but at the same time I don't see a problem with this approach? I've seen people bringing up Super Paper Mario (which as you may know is my favorite Mario game) as evidence that Mario can have a good story around him but at the same time, like. This is an origin story, and they wanted to tell a fairly basic story that resembles the incredibly basic plot of the VAST MAJORITY of Mario games and that's fine, they didn't need to pull an epic story about ancient prophecies and mystical macguffins and doomed lovers out of their ass. It's fine y'all. They can save epic RPG plots for sequels.

The dialogue is serviceable. I know it's a kids' movie and whatever (which is almost always a poor excuse for whatever it's defending) but there were plenty of moments where the characters basically hit you over the head with the themes or state exposition so bluntly I thought it was leading into a joke. That made the moments where certain characters started to gel with each other and have naturalistic and endearing dialogue stand out all the more, and yet those charismatic moments are over almost as soon as you realize they're happening.

Overall I think the movie's rapid-fire pace is what hurts it the most. We are given very little time to sit with these charming character interactions, or scenes where a sense of wonder is evoked, before it's on to the next colorful and action-packed setpiece. On the one hand it's nice to have a movie with such a pared down runtime, but I think a little bit of extra space and breathing room in there could have done wonders in getting people who only know Mario as the funny Wahoo man who lives in the Nintendo to buy into the appeal of these characters and their world. I guess they thought kids couldn't pay attention in quiet moments or something, but again, give kids a little credit.

All that aside, the movie's strengths are many, in my opinion: outstanding animation and design, attention to lush visual detail, creating a Mushroom Kingdom that maintains a sense of magical bizarreness while actually seeming like a real place that people live in, and a sense of sincerity to the whole enterprise with a minimum of irony and self-distancing snark. It's also a very good, fun and refreshing take on some of the characters and their relationships - although, again, I just wish there was more screentime for it. I'll go into more detail when I talk spoilers later.

I've seen some snippets of criticism which I will say I disagree with, which is... People are justifiably cynical and tired of the Space Jam 2s and Ready Player Ones of the world where the creators are like "Look at all these nerdy references!! Look at all the IP we got access to, PLEASE POINT AND CLAP" and saying this movie is the same type of thing, but... Idk in my opinion there's a huge difference between a massive crossover of shallow nerdy references, and a movie based on one single franchise making a bunch of deep cuts that fans will recognize. Like yes there are references to other Nintendo properties but those are all subtle background things and sensibly contained to the Brooklyn portions of the movie.

Listen, I know Nintendo isn't my friend, they are out to make money and in a very real sense we ARE being advertised to... the Kart portions felt especially like "Hey did you ever buy Mario Kart 8 Deluxe yet??" Still, I think between the outstanding musical score and all the deep-cut references, this movie was obviously made by people with a deep love and care for the Mario franchise who were excited to work on this project. So in a sense it's kind of an ad for Nintendo's games rather than some pure work of art free from ulterior motives, but one that comes from a place of sincerity and care. If you want to be maximum cynical you could view that as even more insidious, but idk... relax and have some fun, go play some Mario Party.

It's not an advertisement for those of us who are already bought in. And maybe that's the major disconnect with some critics, which isn't to write them off as elitist, but just an attempt at explaining the difference in fan reception vs critical reception. Some people feel like they're being advertised to while others feel like they're being treated and the video game world they love is being respected. The idea that there are people, adults, who take video game IP this seriously, so much that we've pretty much already played all the games being referenced, is either hard to believe, or seen as even more cringey than being into Marvel movies or something. But there are plenty of us, and we know what we're getting into and are excited to see it.

Some of us are even Donkey Kong fans in particular and this is the best/most content we've gotten in years so LET'S GO TEAM KONG

[lancerious]

Ok so I watched the YT series of DHMIS and there's really only one way to describe it. It's a literal fever dream.

To start, I like how the series tries a different approach to horror! Most horror is depicted as being mature and serious, but DHMIS appears innocent and seems like it would cater to a younger audience, but gradually collapses and deteriorates over time. It starts as a silly little series about learning things and gets more disturbing in each video. It's a very unique concept, and I like what it accomplishes!

Even though the YT series is over eight years old, it still holds up. The unique styles in each episode are always refreshing. And the character designs are cool! Speaking of characters, the teachers are very unique and distinct from one another. My favorite teacher is probably Computer.

Now, for the main trio: Red Guy, Yellow Guy, and Duck. Duck is my personal favorite of the three. I like his personality the most. He seems a bit cynical at times, but it fits him well. And in DHMIS 5, he's the only one of the two--it's just him and Yellow Guy in that video--who starts to notice something is wrong, VERY wrong. And because he's aware of that, he gets killed off. And I like Duck's voice too! Again, it fits him well.

Red Guy is my second favorite, albeit Duck isn't far ahead. Red Guy seems very mellow and monotone, but has a very creative mind hidden behind it. His action of messing with Computer in DHMIS 4 is believable because he kept getting cut off and only wanted a chance to speak. His action of unintentionally harming Yellow Guy in DHMIS 6, while it may be questionable to some, honestly makes sense to me. He's slowly coming to terms with everything, realizing he can make his own show and not rely on others, and he's realizing firsthand how the current situation is affecting him and his friends. Him literally "pulling the plug" is a great way to end things off, even if the series did continue after. I know I had more to say about Red Guy than Duck, but I do like Duck more lol, I promise.

And now, Yellow Guy. Yellow Guy's all right! He's not my personal favorite, but that's okay. I feel bad for him though, since he seems to be the primary victim. I wouldn't say he's a child--I doubt anyone in the show is--but I do think he's the youngest of the main trio, and is therefore the most impressionable.

And now, we have Roy. Oh boy...this guy definitely seems to be the antagonist behind everything. Based on the hints in the TV series (and what I've seen on Film Theory, lol) I'm assuming Roy is the one behind what Red Guy, Yellow Guy, and Duck are going through. Red Guy came to Roy so Roy could support his show, but Roy took complete control. Red Guy "pulling away" from Roy was the best decision he could've made in my opinion.

Anyway, overall, it's a really good YT series! I think the TV show has been uploaded to YT by someone else--at least according to the playlist I used to watch the YT series--so I'll get to those longer videos later on!

I'm really glad I decided to dip my toes into DHMIS. Is it going to become an obsession of mine? Probably not, but we'll see! Even if I don't become utterly obsessed with it, I can still appreciate it for what it achieved, as well as all the hard work the creators put to make the series possible :).