#as if I'm not literally my own person and an adult who can do whatever tf I want...?

[lotusarchon]

hey hey, i would like to ask a question out of curiosity (and im sorry if i sound offensive; im not skilled in the department of wording and communication) the 'mischaracterization' thing; would u tell me more of why u dislike it very much, and give examples of it for better understanding?

Nah dude it's fine, I don't find you offensive one bit. I am surprised with the question but I'll try to word myself as much as I possibly can.

Also, full disclaimer; I am a fanfic writer, and I understand wanting to give a character more/a better personality and backstory, to give more room what the show writers didn't do. I do the same as well; my famous example is Sakura Haruno and giving her more personality than just a girl obsessed with boys. So, I'm aware people may try to give a character better personalities for whatever reason.

BUT.

There's a limit to how much I can take with it, and the LMK fandom really do take it too far. I'm in a bunch of fandoms, and I'm using Jujutsu Kaisen as an example with how writers tend to write Sukuna especially for shipping with OCs/Readers. Do you wanna know why I'm okay with it though, in JJK?

Because they at least know their fave is horrible. I'm not saying the fandom is good, but at least the few I've read from do in fact get the characters right and don't stereotype them, and if they do, they KNOW their faves are pieces of shits. They just don't care and anyways, it's a fanfic. They aren't gonna go bash people for disagreeing with them (from my experience. And if the JJK fandom has it, idc still, they're better than most of y'all here)

In LMK, it's so, so bad. The mischaracterization doesn't just stay as that. It's become the literal fanon vs canon thing because that's what the fans do. In every fanfic, fanart, ANYTHING related to the characters in the fandom, they stereotype and dumb down every single fucking one. I used to read fics and I've had to stop because of how disgusted I am. It's literally just "they would NOT be like that", but ah, god forbid you try to tell that to this fandom, because if you try you're a proshipper, homophobe/transphobe or racist.

I have a good few examples too, but my most popular ones are;

Fanon Wukong: A bad guy that abandoned MK, abused his 'best friend', just a sexy, hot monkey with grr possessive alpha traits. And, oh yeah! He's so stupid, he can't even read because he's just a big guy with ex issues and nothing else.

Fanon Macaque: A victim who was only trying to get his best/boy friend back. He definitely loves MK as a kid and is a better parent than Wukong. Ignore the fact he never once took blame for the trauma he put MK through as well, he's a victim and a little baby/daddy who just wants love. He's completely misunderstood guys.

Fanon MK: Personality? What personality? He's Red Son's and/or Mei little boyfriend who is just a baby obsessed with fucking and can't think of anything else. He's traumatized so, so badly and is just a poor little baby who's only source of comfort is Macaque because Macaque understands him more, definitely. He's dumb or maybe too smart for his own good but that's okay, there's always someone else to help him.

Fanon Tripitaka: An abusive cunt. Need I say more?

Fanon Nezha: Oh dear, guys he's just a grumpy baby guys, he's a grumpy lil baby, definitely not an adult stressed and exhausted, nah. He's a baby.

See where I'm getting at? Nine times out of ten you check a fanfic in this fandom regardless of the pairing or the plot, these are the kind of traits you see in these characters. There's nothing else but them dumbed down to being morons.

Nevermind that Sun Wukong is actually smart and most definitely has trouble reading modern writing, nevermind that Macaque has never owned up to his actions even when he played a part in hurting MK, nevermind that MK isn't just some sex obsessed baby and has problems and is a grown ass adult who needs therapy, nevermind that Tripitaka of all people only dared used the circlet because Wukong was hard to handle, NEVERMIND that Nezha, a centuries old god with different tales around him isn't someone who's just grumpy much less a child and has problems of his own.

Fans just simply won't look past anything but the fanon version of them. You try to explain that Macaque was a bad guy and redemption arc feels rushed and you're a bad person, or who cares he's hot right? You try to explain that Wukong isn't some illiterate asshole and is trying his best to adapt and be there for MK, because you're just a Macaque hater and also who cares, right? He's sexy and he can fuck Macaque, so who cares for personality, right?

Don't get me wrong. I'm used to this shit because again, look at Jujutsu Kaisen. But my god the LMK fans are so fucking annoyed and obsessed, they refuse to even see that these characters are more than just a single personality trait.

And that's just dealing with canon characters alone, don't get me started on how they react to ocs smh.

The LMK fandom is bad, bad. Nuclear level bad, even. It's a toxic wasteland of morons who have never really understood media literacy and instead simply cares for the appearances of how characters look rather than focusing on what makes them who they are.

But again, what good does it even do to complain right? I'm just some guy on the internet completely irked by the lack of braincells this fandom has. The most I can actively do is block the tags related to this fandom and focus on me. If I need fanfics, I'll write my own, that's all.

But, i will say, if there's a day this fandom actually sees characters as more than sex appeal, it's the day I suck a dick. Pardon my language but that's legit the only way I can phrase it as an aroace person. Y'all are so hazardous you make the 2020 MHA fandom look sooooo much better.

It's not a compliment. Be better. You're fans of a children based show, and coming from an author who writes mainly NSFW stuff for LMK on AO3, it's disappointing.

[satanfemme]

my parents are fucking assholes and every day I pray for a heart attack or something. :|

[depresseddepot]

It's struggle through autism symptoms hours

[pyrrhiccomedy]

I am genuinely so proud of my wife for becoming a crafts person over the last few years.

Like, I was always a crafts person. I was an arts and crafts kid. My parents sent me to classes or summer camps or after-school clubs pretty much continuously from when I was about 5 years old, and over the years I did metalsmithing, stained glass, polymer clay sculpting, loom weaving, oil painting, charcoal drawing, clothes-making & tailoring, carpentry, woodcarving, macrame, miniatures, beading, jewelry-making, basket weaving, leatherworking, paper-making, bookbinding, papier mache, decoupage, sand sculpting, and probably more that I'm forgetting. There was never a day in my life while I was growing up when my entire bedroom floor wasn't taken up by 2-5 different ongoing art projects. As an adult, it's given me the firm confidence that I can walk up to pretty much any crafting skill, and get the hang of it, and enjoy doing it.

My wife never had that. She wrote, but that was really her only artistic outlet. Art & craftsmanship were just not any of her business. She always expressed admiration for my gumption when it came to making things with my hands, usually with a "bigger idiots than me have done it" attitude, but she was certain she'd be bad at it if she tried it, and that she wouldn't have fun. As evidence, she would offer every time in her life when she had attempted to learn a craft, and didn't have fun, and all the Arts And Crafts kids picked it up a lot faster than her.

Which like - yeah! Learning how to do a new craft is a skill all on its own! Fine motor control is a skill developed over time! So is spatial reasoning, and materials intuition! She wasn't just 'trying to learn wreath-making,' or whatever, she was trying to learn how to learn how to make something with her hands AND wreath-making, at the same time, so of course it would take her longer than the kids who already had the first part, and of course it would be more frustrating for her. I knew she wasn't uniquely bad at crafts: she just didn't know how to approach picking them up, because she was never encouraged to learn.

And then the pandemic hit.

And while we were all trapped inside and going insane in new and exciting ways to all of us, she tentatively decided to pick up embroidery. She probably wouldn't stick with it, she explained: she'd probably be bad at it. It probably wouldn't be fun. But she thought embroidery was pretty, and literally what else did she have going on?

And then she did stick with it. For over a year. And she got pretty good at it! She embellished a baseball hat for her sister with cactuses and wildflowers from where they grew up which came out adorable. She made an embroidered portrait of one of our friends' cat that they still have displayed in their entryway. And she discovered - and remarked on it often, with mild surprise - that she was having fun. She'd say a lot of stuff like "this stitch was so frustrating at first, but now that I get it I really like doing it," or "I kept getting this tangled but I've figured it out now. I just needed to relax."

Then she took up pottery. We did that as a couple for about a year, too. Now she's a knitter.

And it's just been so great, to see her eyes light up when she sees a sweater she likes, and hear her say, "I could make that!" She's slowly let go of the perfectionism that I think holds a lot of people back from doing crafts: that dismay when you make a mistake which leads to discarding a whole project, or starting something over. More and more she's taking on the veteran crafter attitude of "oops lol, whatever I'll just keep going." She's picking things up faster. She's taking pleasure in learning incremental steps. She's started to see crafting as something that relaxes and engages her, instead of as something inherently frustrating. I've gotten to watch her learn to find joy in making something with her hands. I always knew she was creative and artistic and capable of learning how to do anything. It's been so much fun to watch her start to take that on as part of how she sees herself.

We have this running joke about how she will prematurely declare herself to be in an era. Like, she'll go swimming twice and announce that she's now in her "swimming era," and then never go swimming again. Or she'll make one smoothie, buy a bunch of fruit, and declare that we are now in a "smoothie era," and then a week later we have to throw out a bunch of fruit that's gone bad.

The other day (while she was knitting, and I was sitting on the couch next to her doing crochet), she went, "I feel like I've gotten - like, I'm a bit crafty these days, I think. Like, I've done a couple of different crafts, and gotten pretty good at them. I think this is now, kind of, you know...something that I can say that I do."

I supplied that I would even go so far as to say that she was in her "crafting era."

Her eyes widened. "It's an era?"

I pointed out that it was something she'd been doing pretty much continuously for the last three and a half years. That feels like the start of an era to me.

"Yes," she decided. "It's an era. This is my crafts era. I'm a crafts person now."

She's planning to make me a sweater with a duck on it for fall.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I am not the asshole, and I think this whole thing is stupid, but I was promised that if I sent my side of things to this blog I could pick the hotel for our honeymoon, and I am marrying a man who once tried to take me BACKPACKING of all things, so this ask has become a necessity. In light of that:

AITA (I'm NOT) for planning the seating for our wedding in a logical way?

I got engaged in June, apparently in part because of my partner writing in to this blog (I don't know how to find or link to his posts, but I'm the man who got the cat to bite him, if that rings any bells?). At any rate, for the past ten weeks, I've been in the beginning stages of planning our wedding with my fiance, whom I have been secretly attempting to remove from the planning process as much as possible. I have ALREADY been given a list of his must-haves, and I AM incorporating as many of them as our budget allows. This has NOTHING to do with the emotional side of the event, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that this is an idiot with no real planning experience or taste who thinks he knows more than me.

For the most part, this has worked very well. I'm the one who's been collating all the contact information for things, so I just replaced all the emails for the tacky companies with false addresses, responded to his inquiries as the companies to say the date was already booked or the price was outside our budget, and let him filter his way to the ones I DO like on his own. I also made a fuss about being "willing to compromise" on the few things he's picked I'm completely fine with in the hopes I can use it to make him compromise later, and have been humming portions of the songs I want on the playlist in the hopes he'll think he came up with the idea to include them himself.

None of this is the real problem. The PROBLEM is that he is deliberately ruining my seating chart, by moving our horrible friend's seat when I'm not looking.

The man in question dated both of us at one point in our VERY early 20s (both ended BADLY), is generally the messiest person we know, and will almost certainly get sloppy drunk and try to make a speech IF he does make an appearance. I'm banking on the fact that he won't, because he's also ridiculously wealthy, and will almost certainly send us some very lavish gift in lieu of coming.

He is SUPPOSED to be sitting beside my fiances aunt, at the same table as his grandmother, his work friend, and her girlfriend, because all four of these women are stone cold terrors who I believe are more than capable of keeping him in line on the slim chance he does come. My fiance INSISTS they won't be able to have any fun if they're running interference all night, and keeps moving him to sit at the head table instead. You know, where WE are. I finally caught him switching the label magnets on my planning board last night, and confronted him.

I tried leveraging how much I've been compromising already, that he's almost certainly going to RSVP no, and that I shouldn't have to deal with him on our big night. My fiance said he knew about all the fake emailing and such, and told me, and I QUOTE: "Look, the mind game shit was hot when it was just about the colour scheme or whatever, but I actually care about this. So you can suffer with everybody else, or you can do the normal thing and not invite a guy you hate to our wedding, you weirdo."

I said that if I did that, it would take out half his groomsmen, he called me an asshole and said I should go explain this to "literally any rational adult" so they could tell me I was in the wrong, and now here we are.

Would you recommend calling my fiance's bluff, since he doesn't want the man sitting near us either? Or should I focus on ensuring he'll turn down the invitation no matter what, so the matter of where he WON'T be sitting can be a moot point?

What are these acronyms?

Original post

The update

[athena5898]

I often think when people hear "infantilizing a group of people", they think of it literarily that we are actively being made a infant. While this is a part of it, I think people miss the subtle things that end up causing chasms in their relationships with that group of people.

It's actually hard to pinpoint because it's never a singular event, it's many tiny things but the end result is always "I am the authority, I will always know more then you, I will never take your advice, I will never be honest with you (you know to spare *your* feelings), any disagreement is your fault, any problem in your life is my cross to bear and you must follow how I tell you to fix it, I will never stoop myself to understanding what your needs are as X group and will view everything from my own lens and judge you accordingly, we are not equals, and we never will be. (This is not a exhausted list, nor will everyone have all the same traits)

It is very hard to connect with someone who just automatically assumes a higher status to you just because of something you can't change. All the while the offender thinks what they are doing is actually a good thing. They are somehow helping you by just assuming they are better then you (which in the end, that's kinda what this is).

I have a few people in my life that I care for a lot, but they are not that much older then me yet they act like I can't possibly understand them and automatically shove this "child" label on my forhead.

And here is the thing, they will voluntarily bring up why they think this if you pay attention. It might be trauma they've dealt with, it might be that they have kids and you don't, age, or anything else like this. However I think it's important to note that I have friends who do not talk down to me and respect me as my own person with autonomy and also have these things going on in their life. So it's not like it's impossible to treat someone with respect and have these differences.

Now what do some of these subtle differences look like? There are many ways they can materialize but to name a few.

- Demanding the person solves a problem their way despite the person telling them why their circumstances do not allow that.

- assuming...well anything and all the time. These people have a tendency to think they know exactly what you are feeling and other such things and if you try to correct them then they will actually get upset at you or show some type of passive aggressiveness.

-Speaking on your behalf without asking permission

-never valuing your expertise on any subject. They are older/more mature then you, therefore to them they know more about everything. What's really fun (/s) about this is when they will explain to you, why you are wrong, by repeating what you said back at you.

- any reason why you can't do a thing, or why you need an aide is an excuse. You could do it if you *really* wanted to, but you are just being lazy. Now the real adult has to take up your burden.

- they do not/cannot listen to you. No matter what you say or how you say it, or if they even confirm what you say, there is always a part of them that is not listening. Or hell, they could of listened to you, but since what you say isn't important to them, they will quickly forget it and may even try and claim you never said anything to them.

- I'm not sure if this counts as infantilizing, but I notice that it happens a lot in tandem. While they think less of you and treat you like a child whose facts and opinions don't matter, all of this will change at a moment's notice when they need something from you...oddly enough something they probably normally do not take seriously from you on a normal day. Suddenly thrusting you with this burden of taking care of them even though they are never there for you in any meaningful actually helpful way most of the time. Like you will literally be demanded to stop what you are doing, and get over whatever you are going through to help them and their problem. I cannot explain how frustrating it is to be demanded to be the mature one while most of the time being denied respect.

I could go on, but honestly if I sat here and thought of every single tiny thing they do to make sure there is distance between you and them up on their self made pedestals, I'd be here all day.

The worst part on all of this is that I have no idea how to resolve it. People who do this are not inherently bad people, hell they might not even realize they do it. But this can actually make it more difficult to bring to their attention. I have tried many ways and many different times to resolve this, but I haven't been successful yet. Anyone who has corrected themselves were people who just had a little mess up but still obviously viewed me as a person from the start.

These subtle ways someone can dehumanize you, it can cause terrible rifts and of course the other person never understands why (see point above about not listening)

I am writing this as a autistic person, but I know there are others who go through this. Please check the ways you create artificial authority over someone.

Edit: someone reblogged this with hashtags about how we shouldn't do this to children either and I completely agree, I was using the term because it's the one often used to explain these things. Adding the edit cause I have no idea how to respond to the hashtag thing and I think it's a important thing to note.

[tqmies]

Love Guard | Lee Chan

Description. Lifeguard Lee Chan is a pain in your ass, and you swear he's only picked up this job to ogle at girls in bikinis. Little did you know, the only girl he wants to look at is you — not that you'd ever let him tell you that though — Especially now that you're convinced he's in love with your co-worker.

Pairing. Lifeguard!Lee Chan x Lifeguard! Fem Reader

Warnings. Curse words, (Pretend) Drowning, Karina attempts to meddle, Fluff, Chan's so whipped, Swimming, E2L (One sided)

Word count. 9.2k (Oops?)

Note: Summer has been over but I couldn't help myself! Welcome to my first Seventeen fic! Not 100% sure if I like this one but feedback is always appreciated!

"Two weeks." You repeat to yourself, attempting to calm yourself by digging your fingers into the squishy material of the rescue tube you have strapped on. Only two weeks left until the local waterpark is closed for the year — and until you have to look for another job — but the point remains a positive one.

In exactly two weeks from now, you will be freed from your own personal hell in human form, otherwise known as Lee Chan. Even when he's not stationed at the same ride as you, he's always finding his way over in your general proximity, just like he is now.

He's chatting up a few girls who look gorgeous in their tight fighting bikini sets, and you just about scoff at how obvious he is. You and Karina are set at the wave pool right now, and you feel bad for whatever station Chan is supposed to be manning. Does he ever do his job?

Karina quirks her head, her long ponytail falling to her side. "I heard he was supposed to be with the flow rider."

Ah yes the flow rider, the stationary surfing machine that tiny children and older adults alike swear they can do. You've only had to operate it once, and let's just say you complained so much you never had to do it again. Just this once, you can understand why he wandered over to the other side of the park.

"Vernon probably took over and kicked him out." You shrug, knowing how serious the older male takes his job.

"I hope so." Your friend giggles, patting your shoulder as she walks away. You notice her hand on the whistle, she must've spotted a few kids running again, nothing out of the ordinary.

A few feet away, Chan is just about whining into these poor girls ears. He smirks at them. “Is she looking this way?”

The girl on his left — whose name Chan hasn't caught — glances over her shoulder and then turns back. “She’s not, she’s watching the pool.”

One of the other girls snorts. “Looks like she’s doing her job.”

"That makes one of us." Chan slumps dramatically before an idea pops into his head. (The girls swear they could see a lightbulb above his head in that moment).

Chan swivels into the water after he stood to his feet, the others awaiting his revelation. "Okay, I'm going to need one of you to pretend you're drowning."

"Drowning?!" The blonde girl's jaw drops. Chan doesn't see why he has to explain it though. They would simply pretend they were drowning, he'd jump in all heroic like, and save them. And in the process, you'd notice and commend him for being so cool.

Chan was a genius, he nodded to himself.

So after explaining the plan to girl's that he had just met today, well about twenty minutes ago, he's ready to get this show on the road. He's lucky the girls felt bad for him after he gave the typical sob story on how his crush hated him. Otherwise, they probably wouldn't have agreed.

The blonde girl submerges herself into the water, on purpose, as Chan prepares to take action. But first, he had to take his shirt off. Oh don't act so shocked, he's literally trying to get your attention! He's not above showing a little skin!

You don't even notice though, too preoccupied with watching some children jump on each other. You approach them and politely tell them to not attempt to kill each other under the water. You didn't even think that needs to be said but, this job surprised you every day.

However, the minute you turn around, you notice some arm's flailing around in the water. It was the area where Chan was just standing, but he's nowhere to be found now. Shit! You were going to have to act, and fast!

So you dive into the water, peeling your eyes open in the chlorine to find the girl. You reach her in record time, using your rescue buoy to grab her and pull her out. You lay her on the concrete, shaking her shoulders and gaining no response.

"Someone get me an AED!" You shout, preparing to begin CPR. Karina rushes to your side, asking any bystanders if they knew what happened and trying to gain more information about the situation. Thank goodness for her.

A crowd begins to form around you as you recall the CPR process in your head, ready to begin when you're abruptly shoved out of the way.

"I got it!" Chan explains, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. You're too stunned to reply so you just let him take the lead, watching his next moves in silence.

He barely starts to push on her chest when her eyes shoot open, and she begins coughing up imaginary water. You're a bit suspicious, but this was your first time dealing with an unconscious victim, guess you'd just been lucky so far.

She sits up as she starts talking, waving her hands around. "Don't call 9-1-1 or anything! I'm fine!"

Karina leans forward. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" The girl replies, before easily standing to her feet as she rushes out, her friends following behind her. They didn't even have their shoes on?

Chan watches them in defeat as you and Karina silently gape at each other. The girl had run away steadily, no signs of being disoriented for someone who had just been unconscious. It did all happen so fast though, maybe you weren't seeing things right.

Karina is the first to stand. "What just happened?"

You shake your head, your now wet hair dripping on you. "I don't even know."

Chan doesn't look as confused as you two though, but never mind that, you had a bone to pick with him first.

"And where the hell were you?"

Chan barely registers you speaking to him, as he's mentally recounting how his plan went awry. "I was getting my CPR keychain."

You want to bang your head against the ground. "You didn't have it on you?"

Hey, give him a break. He's human too! He forgets things sometimes, it can't be that bad! However, if he was going to convincingly look like he was saving the girl earlier, he had to have his keychain on him. Which is why he ran off looking for it...

"I left it in my locker." He mutters, rubbing the back of his neck.

"God, just put a shirt on Lee." You stand to your feet. "And please do us all a favor and stay in your station."

"So you acknowledge that you checked me out?"

You deadpan. "I acknowledge that you make my job harder because an old woman almost slipped on the shirt you threw off!"

Had he really thrown his shirt? He didn't even notice, your wording had to be a bit exaggerated.

You cross your arms as you head back to the other side of the pool, back into your comfy life guard chair. And preferably, as far away from Lee Chan as possible.

..

"Then he shows up like some fucking hero and interferes with me doing my job!" You state sarcastically, slipping your sweatshirt on as you stand by your locker. Screwing the cap back onto your water bottle, you sigh.

Minghao, your close friend who you never managed to get stationed with, just listens in mild amusement. "But he saved the girl, right?"

You shake your head as you gather your things. "I don't know if you could call it saving. It was weird, she just up and ran off."

Minghao giggles. "Are you sure she was drowning?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say no." You admit, the jingling of a lanyard behind you catching your attention.

"Okay, I'm heading out." Karina says as she holds her bag over her shoulders. Your brain is too busy trying to configure how she looks so cute after a full day at work. You were sure you looked as worn-out as you felt.

"MIngyu's still around here somewhere. And Seungkwan and Chan are still in the back, I saw them fighting with the pool nets." Karina continues, referring to the long wands used to skim the pools for bugs and dirt. Or worse, fecal matter.

Thankfully, that's usually not the case. Nevertheless, you're grateful that wasn't your job today. You did have to lock up though, meaning that you had to get the aforementioned boys up and out.

"I'll get Minghao to yell at them." You nod, and Minghao just laughs.

Back at the pool, Chan is currently shuffling his brain for another plan, one that won't fail this time. Honestly, it probably made you more angry at him than anything. "I have two weeks Kwan."

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. "Oh God."

"Two weeks to make her mine." Chan repeats, rubbing his eyes.

"You're delusional." His friend replies, picking up his own pool stick and heading to the main area. "Why don't you start with something simple, like driving her home first."

Chan perks up at that. "Wait, that's actually a pretty good idea!"

"Actually?" Seungkwan starts, but Chan is already racing past him, pool cleaning long forgotten. Though the older male still shouts after him. "I always have great ideas!"

Chan mentally prepares himself on the way there, stopping by one of the outside mirrors in the kids splash area to check his hair. Looking good, he thought.

"Hey," Chan speaks, approaching you and Minghao as he tries not to give the latter a death stare. He could never figure out what kind of relationship the two of you had, and that made him uneasy. Not that you owed him an explanation or anything, but it'd be nice to get some clarification.

All he knew was that you and Minghao applied for this job together and you'd been friends for a while. Chan also knew you spent your lunch breaks together at the snack bar, courtesy of his friend Mingyu's spying, and he knew he took you home everyday.

But those could all just be friendly gestures, right?

You ignore Chan's presence as you turn to close up your locker, not bothering to acknowledge him. Minghao does though, "You heading home?"

"Yeah, actually." Chan responds, eyes never leaving your figure. He calls out your name, to which you roll your eyes to. "What?"

He stands up straight, slightly puffing his chest out in an attempt to appeal more to you. Was it working? Probably...Not. "Can I drive you home?"

"Not a chance." You shoot down immediately, not a hint of hesitance in your voice. Oh, that was fast. But Chan knew this wasn't gonna be easy after all.

"I'll buy you food on the way." He offers, clinging to his last ounce of self respect before he gets on the floor to start begging. He was not above that when it came to you.

You cross your arms. "Are you insinuating that I can't buy my own food?"

Of course things were going this way, "That's not what I-"

You put a hand up to stop him, smirking. "Because you're right, this stupid job doesn't pay me nearly as much as I'd like."

Chan stays quiet, unsure of what to say next. Luckily, you continue for him, all in a condescending tone though. "Whatever Lee. Even though you're probably doing this just to feel better about yourself for being such an asshole all the time, I'll bite."

Minghao grimaces, had you always been this harsh? Well, he knows the younger male did you piss you off more than usual today. He knows in his rational brain that he probably shouldn't let this happen. But will he? Yeah.

Minghao gently grabs your arm. "Call me when you get home, okay?"

"Of course." You reply, and Chan watches you flash a smile reserved for your friends only. He knows that because never once had you directed that smile at him. This was soon to change, or so help him.

"You can go ahead, I'll get 'Kwan and lock up." Minghao nods and you thank him.

Chan's just about losing his mind though, Minghao was on a nickname basis with Seungkwan? What the hell? Did Seungkwan not know that Minghao was enemy number one ?! He had some words for him later.

Right now though, his main focus was you. Even in the horrible florescent lighting of the locker room, he thought you looked beautiful.

You, on the other hand, were getting the ick from seeing Kim Mingyu walk around with flip flops. That was going to be hard to move on from.

Just to be clear, you really weren't interested in relationships right now. And yes, you and Minghao were just friends, strictly platonic. However, with on slow days, you liked to occupy yourself with staring at Mingyu's prominent muscles. And honestly, who could blame you?

Chan redirects your attention to him. "So, where to?"

You roll your eyes. "You were the one who invited me out, and you don't know where we're going?"

He looks down. "McDonalds?"

So that's how you two end up in the drive-thru of the famous golden arches. Chan has a million thoughts running through his head, the main one being how he managed to get you in his car, willingly!

In another universe, Chan imagined that this would be your first date. He'd make you laugh, hold your hand, and maybe even get a kiss at the end of the night.

"Should I get a Coke or a Sprite?" You speak to yourself, pulling Chan out of his thoughts.

He straightens his posture. "Oh you should-"

"I wasn't actually asking." You roll your eyes, already mentally having decided in your head.

Chan shuts his mouth.

"You know, I'm really interested in hearing why you invited me out of a sudden." You say, leaning your head against his car window.

Chan's scrambling for the words. "I just wanted to talk."

"About?"

Chan breathes in, here goes nothing. "Well, we only have a few weeks left working at the park, and I kind of.. like this girl."

You narrow your eyes, knowing where this was going. "Oh lord, did you really drag me all this way to try to get me to set you up with Karina?"

Chan's eyes widen. What?! How did you get to that conclusion. Chan barely knew the other girl, much less liked her. In all honesty, he barely even paid her any mind, always too preoccupied with staring at you by her side. He rushes to deny it. "No-"

"You don't have to lie." You speak, rolling your eyes. "You took me here on a bribe so I could put in a good word with you."

Chan's so confused right now.

"Sorry but I think Karina's worth more than whatever you're getting me on the dollar menu." You spout sarcastically. "And anyways, why would I help set her up with you?"

Now, Chan has to speak up, because really? Was he that bad that you couldn't even imagine setting him up with a friend ? He's mildly offended, even if he could care less about her. It's more so that he's utterly infatuated with you, and he can't believe you don't see him as possible boyfriend material. "Huh? What's wrong with me?"

You narrow your eyes. "Well, for starters you're broke, lazy, and irresponsible. Oh, and stupid, immature, full of yourself-"

You were really laying it on thick, and Chan doesn't think he can take anymore stabs at his character without possibly jumping out of his car window. He interrupts, "Anything else?"

"I wasn't even done yet." You stop counting on your fingers. "Point is, you're not good enough for Karina."

He doesn't even care about who you're talking about anymore, he throws his hands up. "You don't even know that, you've never seen me on a date." Because you've never given me a chance, but he only speaks that last part in his head.

"I've seen your everyday character, that says more than enough."

Chans on the verge of ramming the car in front of him in line. "So what kind of guy would be good enough?"

You shrug. "Probably someone like Joshua."

"The manager?" Chan draws back, because were you referring to Karina's taste or yours? He was so lost right now. "He's like way too old."

You click your tongue. "I said someone like him. He's smart, soft-spoke, responsible, and he knows how to deal with conflict."

Chan grips his steering wheel. Yes, Joshua had his life together, but that's because he was older! Was that really what you were into? Chan might as well throw in the towel now. "It sounds like you want someone like Joshua."

"Maybe, I don't know."" You cross your arms in thought. "Well, he's kind of boring, can't be much fun dating someone like that."

So there is a drawback to perfectly stunning men like Joshua, or was he just saying that to make himself feel better? He'd have to ask Seungkwan for advice tomorrow. "Well-"

"Whenever you're ready." A voice takes over through the intercom. Chan hadn't realized he had already pulled up this far.

He didn't even know what he wanted, in fact this whole conversation made his stomach turn. Was he even hungry anymore?

However, you knew exactly what you wanted. But Chan's silent by the intercom so you do the only feasible thing to do, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean over him. Climbing past the center console, you throw your body halfway out of the window and start reciting your order.

Unbeknownst to you, the male in the car with you was losing his mind. Why were you so close to him? Why did you smell so good? Why was your body basically on top of his (You aren't touching at all)? And Why did this feel so intimate?

You turn to him, still in the same position. "What do you want?"

Chan's face is red, and he's trying his best to stay cool, avoiding eye contact. "A burger."

"Which one?"

Poor guy can't think straight. "The normal one?"

You sigh, turning back towards the speaker. "And a Big Mac."

"I think Chan likes you." You speak, seeking refuge from the scorching hot summer sun under the tiny roof peeking out from the food stand.

Karina sips on her slushie, that's halfway melted, and grimaces. "No way."

You offer a tight lipped smile before shooting her glare. "Don't give me that look! Who wouldn't like you?"

Karina laughs. "It's not that I don't think he'd like me, it's that he doesn't."

"And how are you so sure?" You ask, adjusting the straw on your own slushie.

"Um, okay one, he's never held a conversation with me for longer than two minutes." She starts, placing her cup on the counter. Trying her best to stop the syrup from getting her hands all sticky.

You digress though. "That's because you make him nervous!"

"Two, we barely know each other."

"You haven't given him a chance." You tease, unaware of prying ears listening to your conversation. Give you a break though, honestly, it was too hot for all of this.

"Where did you even get this idea from?" She inquires in disbelief.

"Last night when he took me to McDonalds."

Karina's jaw goes slack. "You voluntarily went somewhere with him outside of work?"

Guess you had forgotten to mention that, oops. "He bribed me with food."

She narrows her eyes, suspicious but moving on anyways. "And then he told you he liked me?"

"No," You answer truthfully. "But he didn't deny it."

Karina shakes her head. "I think you're just desperate for some cute lifeguard-love-story to shake things up around here, and it's not going to work on me."

You giggle. "Whatever you say."

"You could have your own story if you just asked out Minghao already." She suggests meekly, despite knowing your constant insistence that there was nothing going on between you two.

"That's gross, I think I just threw up in my mouth."

"Yeah, I know." She teases before lowering her voice so only you can hear, and her eyes dart over to Mingyu making a hot dog. "But you could finally strike something up with mister beef cake over here."

You roll your eyes. "He's too hot for me, half the park wants him."

"He gives you free food."

You hush your friend. "He gives everyone free food!"

"You win this battle." Karina says, trashing her finished cherry drink. "But the war is far from over."

"Get back to your post, Yoo." You sigh, cleaning up the mess your melting treats made with a few napkins and discarding them.

Mingyu comes back to the front where you are after noticing you were alone, "Going back?"

You groan. "Unfortunately my break is over."

He offers a small chuckle, and all you think about is how good he looks. Especially since he's donning a sleeveless red shirt, matching the parks general colors, and you can see his arms in their full glory. No wonder you'd heard girls in passing giggle about how they wanted to take a bite out of the food stand guy, you saw the appeal.

Why couldn't he be a lifeguard? Just saying, it would be nice to see him without a pesky shirt sometimes. Oh you were so embarrassing.

"Have you seen Hao? I wanted to talk to him about something?" The male inquires but you shake your head.

"He called in today," You stand. "Said he felt sick, or some other kind of lie."

"He's not sick?"

"Judging by his Instagram stories on a boat?" You quirk your head. "I'd say no."

MIngyu laughs at your humor, and you're flashing that pretty smile again, and Mingyu's feeding right into it. Are you two flirting?!

Chan hates it!

Not your smile, no he could never hate your smile. But he hates how he's never once gotten to see it aimed at him. Yet here you were, chatting it up with Mingyu? Did the nuggets he bought you last night mean nothing? He thought they were a great symbol of his undying love for you!

Vernon looks unimpressed. "Stare at him any longer and you might just burn a hole through him."

Chan narrows. "That's the plan"

Vernon's bored. "Okay, this is getting weird."

"I just don't get it, what does she even see in guys like Joshua? Or Mingyu?" Chan crosses his arms.

"Maybe because they do their job-" Vernon tries to get his station partners attention back.

But Chan's having none of it. "Yeah right, look at Mingyu! He's flirting on duty!"

"He just runs the food stand, in his defense. Half the time isn't he helping you spy on her and Minghao?"

"Well it seems like he's playing for the other team right now, standing there and talking to my girl!"

"Your girl." Vernon repeats, shaking his head in disbelief as he mocks the younger male. "You're ridiculous."

Chan stays rooted in his place. "I can't even believe-"

"Hey, Chan right?" A voice plucks him out of his plotting to kill Mingyu (Okay, maybe killing was extreme, but at the very least he was going to jump him. Eh, that might be a little too much as well, he was still technically Chan's friend. Maybe he could-)

Oh wait, someone was talking to him, and he should probably respond. "Yeah that's me."

"Oh, well I'm Karina." The girl introduces herself as Chan finally gets to take a look at her. He knew who she was, everyone did, but the two had rarely a few words to each other before now, if anything.

He adjusts his sunglasses, eyes barely moving from you and Mingyu. He had to make sure Mingyu didn't try anything. This was a matter of national security! "Nice to meet you, I guess"

"What's up Karina?" Vernon asks, trying to break up this weird tension as he saw how Chan effectively ignored you.

Karina places her hand on her hip. "I'll just be straight forward, someone told me that Chan had a little thing for me, but I know that's not the case, even though she's entirely convinced."

Chan's irritated. "What?"

"I'm not blind, Chan." Karina raises a brow. "I know you have a crush on her."

"Well yeah, could he be more obvious?" Vernon snidely remarks as Chan does his best to ignore his comment.

"So," Chan looks down, slightly dissapointed. "Did you come just to make fun of me?"

"No," She leans forward. "I've decided I'm gonna help you."

"Help?" Chan's taken back as he snaps his head up.

"Help?" Vernon parrots, though he sounds more confused.

She smiles. "Yup"

"Why?"

Karina stares at her perfectly manicured nails. "You're a decent guy. Good looking, nice enough, and I know you're trying your best."

Chan blinks, this was the complete opposite of what you had told him. Karina continues, "But mostly, it's because I can tell you really like her. And I think she deserves someone that'll treat her well for once."

"Well give it up," Chan sighs, wiping sweat from his brow. "Mingyu's about to propose to her anyways."

"Mingyu's not doing anything," Karina moves her hair. "He been standing there like a dweeb the whole time, completely oblivious to everyone around him."

"And she still likes him more than me."

Your friend glares at the male. "Well this isn't going to work if you're going to be so negative."

"Karina," He turns to her. "Honestly, what's the point? She wants nothing to do with me."

"Because she's blind, she can't see how much you like her."

"So, what should we do?" Vernon pipes in, surprisingly intently following the situation.

"We have to prove to her how much you like her!"

"And how can I do that?"

"Don't worry, I have that part covered."

...

"And then he threw up right next to the trashcan." Jeonghan — one of the new hires — finishes venting to you about one of the kids on the waterslide he was manning.

"Swear there should be some kind of law forbidding kids from eating four hotdogs and then getting on a ride that sends you spinning." You sympathize.

"Or people could just have more common sense." Jeonghan comments, before his eyes drift off somewhere else. "Is that Karina talking to Chan?"

Your eyes widen as you try to follow his line of sight. "What? Where?"

"Over there." Jeonghan points with his head, towards the bathrooms.

Sure enough, leaning on the bricks outside the bathrooms, was your friend talking to Lee Chan. Had he finally gained the courage to talk to her? And oh no, was she actually reciprocating?

"I didn't know they were friends." Jeonghan breaks the silence.

"They're not." You raise a brow. "I think he likes her."

Jeonghan looks at you like you've grown three heads. "You're joking right?"

You shrug, "Why would I be joking?"

"Everyone knows that he-" Your friend stops himself before waving you off. "Never mind, you wouldn't believe me anyways."

"Believe what?"

Jeonghan snickers. "Nothing."

You're eager to press on more about whatever he was talking about but the manager, Joshua, asks if you and Jeonghan can get showered already so you can all head out.

By the bathrooms, Chan's about to start throwing a fit. "She looked over here once!"

Karina pats his shoulder lightly. "We'll get her next time. For now, I'll just have to feed her a great narrative of you until she realizes she wants you for herself."

Chan looks down. "This is hopeless."

"Holy shit, where is Chan?" Minghao complains, but you show no sympathy as he was seemingly having the time of his life yesterday.

You shrug, adjusting the strap of the bathing suit you had just put on. "Don't know, don't care."

Your friend tsks. "At least we get out early today."

You shake your head. "Doesn't matter, Joshua's forcing us into that work bonding thing."

MInghao groans, resting his forehead against the steel locker. "I forgot about that, what's the point again? We've had plenty of time to bond already."

"It's mandatory if we want that last paycheck." You remind him and he sighs.

He grabs a bottle from his locker and uncaps it. "Can you put sunscreen on me?"

You nod, it was a normal occurrence, and usually no one batted an eye. Even as you rubbed it into his face, too close for it to be considered just friendly, you know it's all platonic.

Chan on the other hand, isn't so sure.

Him and Karina were walking up the gravel path and the scene hits him before he walks into the area. "H-He's rubbing sunscreen on her back!"

Karina tries to calm him. "They do that for each other all the time."

"Then why does it look so romantic!"

"You're overthinking!"

"Seungkwan rubs my sunscreen in! Why don't you do it for her?!"

"I always get here late!" She defends. "Anyways, this isn't about me, we need to get in there!"

You're instantly drawn to Karina and Chan loudly entering, and it seems the two have gotten close over the past few days.

"Hey guys," Minghao greets and they offer him a hello back before opening their lockers.

"Chan," Karina speaks louder than her normal volume as to draw your attention. "Could you help me put on sunscreen? Can't reach my back today."

Chan nods, grabbing the bottle from her hands and slowly helping her rub it in. He wants to make sure you looking too, and how he's one hundred percent sure he can do it better than Minghao can.

"Uh Rina," You speak before you all head out.

"Yes?" She responds, hoping for you to say something about Chan.

"You have a couple white streaks on your back." And you grimace at Chan's poor job of doing something as simple as rubbing sunscreen in. "Do you want me to-"

"No! No," Karina laughs at her outburst. "Um, I'm sure Chan can help me fix it."

You almost flinch.

"Right, Chan?" Your friend grits her teeth so the male could take the hint.

"Oh, right!" He catches on and then vigorously continues to rub the cream into her skin. He's a little too aggressive with it.

"Ow- um, okay!" She lets out. "I think I'm good now."

You stop, "Okay..."

Chan scurries off, and he realizes he actually needs to get his own swim trunks on, and for heavens sake, where is his first aid whistle?!

You two walk away, you picking at your nails as you dread the day ahead. Your friend needs to break the silence. "So, you're staying today?"

"I wish I had a choice." You grovel.

"I feel you."

You catch the time on one of the parks various clocks. "We open in five."

Your partner nods at the reminder, continuing to with you just out of the sight of the boys and any other listeners. "So, what do you think of Chan? Isn't he sweet?"

You're taken aback. "Is this you trying to get my approval?"

"No.."

"Because you could do way better."

She almost stops in her tracks. "What?! But Chan has lots of redeeming qualities."

You feel like this is a prank. "Like?"

"Well he's nice, a good listener, and-"

"Oh, you got it bad." You interrupt.

She's about to start swinging. "No, you know he's not my type."

You frown. "So you're leading him on?"

Karina deadpans. "We're just friends, but all I'm saying is, uh, he's not a bad guy!"

You almost stop walking. "Right..."

She speaks again, trying her best not to seem pushy. "You know, I think the two of you have a lot in common, you could be good friends."

Before you can even respond, someone is yelling your name across the park, and its too early in the morning for that.

Though your face softens when you realize its Mingyu beckoning you over. You tell Karina you'll meet her at your station and separate. She was acting kind of odd anyhow.

"Mingyu," You approach him, the shade now concealing your face as you take a seat on one of the chairs. You try to keep your eyes from wandering, mainly to his exposed arms. "What's up?"

He smiles' bashfully, leaning on the counter. "Well, I've been wanting to ask you this for some time,"

You can sense he's a little nervous, so you nod your head. "What is it?"

"Could I maybe..." He trails again, before closing his eyes in mental preparation. "Have Karina's number?"

You gape like a fish out of water, doing your best to conceal your light disappointment. "K-Karinas number?"

"Well yeah, I'm interested in her. Unless she's seeing someone." He stumbles on his words.

You tilt your head. "Not sure, maybe you should ask Chan."

"Chan?" Mingyu almost laughs. "He doesn't like her like that."

You grimace at that. Had Chan been telling everyone that he didn't like Karina, when clearly he had been acting the opposite? Sure, she didn't like him back but, for him to be saying things like that was a low blow. "Did he tell you that?"

"Huh, what?" Mingyu looks confused. "Well, not directly. Though, It wouldn't make sense because he already likes someone."

You wave him off. "Doesn't matter, either way, you should ask her yourself. I really can't give you her number on my behalf." You explain, feeling kind of bad, but keeping a peppy voice.

"You think she'd give it to me?"

You smile. "You'll never know if you don't try."

Watching, once again, a few feet await is Lee Chan. He's using all his self control not to rip the foam tube in his hands apart, but Vernon brings him back to earth, or more like back to helping him tie up the obstacle course in one of the pools.

Even as he's experiencing red-hot jealously from watching you interact with his friend, he can't help but admire how pretty you were. You somehow managed to make that stupid visor look cute. And trust me, Chan thought no one could make that hat look cute.

If Chan was anyone else, he probably would've given up on his painful crush by now, but Chan wasn't anyone. He's not sure where his liking for you started, maybe it was that first day you joined. Looking all pretty as you stood next to Minghao and introduced yourself. Chan had overheard from Joshua that you had impressive swim skills, and you had a crazy dedication for your job.

It was a few weeks before he even got to interact with you. You were pretty much attached at your friends hip, taking a minute to warm up to the others. You had gotten partnered with Karina for a ride once and she helped you get along with the rest of the staff pretty well.

That's not how you first knew of Chan though.

No, that was a while later. One hot day a few years ago, when Chan was still scrawny and more awkward with girls. He had finally had a chance to grab a slushie, opting for the purple mystery flavor that rested in the machines. (Chan thinks it was a result of a machine that hadn't been cleaned, so it really just tasted like a mixture of all the flavors.) Anyways, he happened to be in a hurry due to him chatting with Mingyu for well over his break.

Which meant he booked it to the other side of the park.

Which consequentially meant that he wasn't watching where he was going. This meant that his slushie met an unfortunate end on your lifeguard bathing suit. And all over the floor.

Now, you were testing patience at the time. This was a new job, plus it was an accident, you could forgive the guy. You also didn't mind that he was pretty cute.

That was until he ran.

Look, in Chan's defense, you made him so nervous. You were so much prettier up close! He stood there frozen for a few minutes, stuttering and thinking of ways to apologize. So he did the only viable thing to do, he ran to the bathrooms to fetch napkins!

Only, he didn't say a word so you thought he literally just ran off to avoid conflict - which wasn't even happening in the first place!

After that, you dubbed Lee Chan someone to avoid. He obviously left you in a mean spirited haste, a deep purple stain blotched all on the front of your uniform. You figured he had a good laugh about it too!

Chan regrets it everyday, why didn't he just act like a normal human?! Why did he have to make things harder for himself?!

By the time Chan had returned, you were long gone. You had ran to the bathroom on the verge of tears, basically abandoning your post and leaving Minghao to run after you.

So if anyone asked, you'd say that your distaste for Lee Chan was completely valid.

...

"Great work today team." Joshua addresses you all, clapping his hands together before placing them on his hips. "I'm really proud of you all today."

"Which is why you should let us go home." Jeonghan pipes up from behind you in the cluster of a group, smiling hopefully.

Joshua laughs sarcastically. "But then you'd miss all the fun!"

The smile dies on Jeonghans face as Joshua starts recanting the same little group seminar tips he gave last year. And the year before that.

Then he waves a hand out. "I've noticed that there's been some tension on the team lately, so we're going to heal that with some bonding time!"

Karina stiffens beside you, leaning in to whisper. "I'm already bored."

You giggle a bit as Joshua starts pairing up teams for an obstacle course through the park. Normally, you wouldn't care, that was until Joshua cited a twenty five dollar Starbucks gift card awarded to the winner. Oh, he had your attention now.

"Karina, I know you don't talk to Jeonghan a lot so you're with him!" Joshua says esthetically, while you sigh at losing two possible partners. Well, there was still Hao.

"Minghao and Vernon."

Well there goes that.

You finally are graced with the call of your name but are immediately shot back down to earth when the accompanying name leaves your managers lips. "..And Chan."

You immediately step up in protest. "Are we allowed to switch partners?"

Chan frowns but regains a bit of hope as Joshua shakes his head. "Nope, sorry but I have to be firm with this. In fact, you two are the tension I was referring to earlier."

"Are you kidding?"

Joshua narrows his eyes, gripping his clipboard. "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"Joshua, with all due respect, there is no tension! It's just Chan being an idiot!" You complain, widening your eyes.

Ouch, Chan thinks. That went straight to his ego.

Though your boss stands his ground. "I would just like you two to work together for once."

You scoff, muttering a string of curses under your breath which Joshua pretends not to hear, Chan does as well. For the sake of his pride.

Your manager finishes reading the names off of the paper and announces the commencement of the challenge, which you could be less than excited about.

"For this activity, one of you is going to be blindfolded. This will help strengthen the trust you two have in each other."

Trust? You and Chan just looked at each other after you were handed the blindfold. You didn't even know what the objective of the game was yet.

"Part of this activity is deciding who will be blindfolded amongst yourselves." Joshua continues, rubbing salt into the wound.

"Well-" You begin, about to start arguing when Chan holds his hand out. He can see that you're definitely uncomfortable with the idea.

"I'll be blindfolded." He states.

"What?" He wasn't even going to fight you on it? "Really?"

He shrugs, trying to will his face from not turning red. "I trust you."

You blankly stare for a minute, trying to read a hint of humor or anything of that sort in his eyes. But you come up empty, his expression dead serious. You just handed him the blindfold, leaving him to fend for himself as he tied it around his eyes.

What did he mean he trusted you?

Karina finishes tying Jeonghan's when she turns back to your boss. "Now what?"

"You're going to lead them through the water course," Joshua smiles, although it seems a bit mischievous. He had to be getting a kick out of this. "The ones that come out first, and the most dry, win."

You gape, you were supposed to lead this grown ass man through the water course and not let him fall in?

"Lead your partner to the starting position, and then we'll begin."

You do a steady job at pushing at Chan's back to the finish line. You're less than enthusiastic about it though.

You line up among the others, knowing you'll probably come out of this ordeal soaking wet, and that's less than desirable.

The course is simple, lined up floating fuzzy blocks paced in a pathway like structure. Then you have to follow up a little climb of inflatable stairs. Then back down to the finish line. Easy enough right?

Chan's shaking right now, he's not looking forward to falling in and possibly being left to drown — as if he's not in the prescence of a group of lifeguards right now — as if he's not one himself.

He's still scared though, give him a break, he can't see!

He hears the sound of a whistle and you begin pushing at his back, leading him onto the first block. The weight of you two displaces the block, and you can feel the other block getting further.

"Okay, move about two inches onto the next block, don't fall." You instruct him and he follows, waving his foot around until he feels the safety of the makeshift ground.

You jump onto it after him, "The next one is directly in front."

And you're pleased as he lands right on it. The two of you are ahead of some of the others as well, Seungkwan already having fallen into the water, and Vernon still on the first block as Minghao tries to encourage him to move already!

"The next one is far, so I'm going to go ahead of you. I'll grab your hand after and pull you, alright?" You explain and Chan nods.

You do as you said and then hold your hand out, grabbing his palm and pulling him so the blocks float closer together. He carefully makes the step and you cheer a little in your head.

You only had one more block, then the stairs, and you were home free. You could practically taste your drink now.

Well, maybe if Chan hadn't almost fell over.

You grab both of his arms in an attempt to stop him, and you catch him just in time. He winces at the prospect of falling, and you squeeze him. "I'm not going to let you fall, okay? I've got you."

Chan's glad he can't see you, because then he'd bear witness to you noticing the growing redness of his face. And if he had to acknowledge it, then he'd jump into the water himself.

You two successful make it to the last block and you cheer, the others having more trouble with their team work behind you. The others seem to be having a hard time due to lack of trust in their guiders.

You notice that Chan had trusted completely in everything you had said, even though you knew he didn't want to splash in the pool.

You stare at him for a minute, and he starts talking. "Uhh, aren't we supposed to keep moving"

You shake your thoughts from your head. "Up the stairs now, I'll lead you, just hold my hand."

Before you know it, the two of you had made it to the end. You take off Chan's blindfold as you announce your victory. Throwing your arms around Chan as you celebrate. "We won! We beat those suckers."

"Those suckers are right here!" Karina says, panting as she comes down the stairs. She's wet, pulling a much dryer Jeonghan behind her.

You keep your hands around Chan as Karina explains. "He stepped back on the block and basically pushed me off on accident."

You giggle at that, face on a few inches from Chan as he tries not to combust. Lord, he was so in love with you. Your pretty eyes as they crinkled while you let out the prettiest laugh.

Karina notices and she lets out a smile. He really did like you, anyone could see it in his eyes.

You don't notice though, sliding your hands off of Chan as you jokingly tease Karina. "I won the card! I won the card."

Jeonghan pulls off his blindfold just in time for you to see him roll his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

Chan insisted you made a night of spending the card together. You didn't mind, telling him you'd meet him there after your much needed shower.

So here you sat in the Starbucks lobby, awaiting Chan as you had the card and he had already passed you his order. You tapped away on your phone as you hear the chime of the door and you hear someone sitting across from you.

You don't mind his presence, weirdly, you felt he was really vulnerable with you today. While it likely didn't mean much to him, it had you overthinking everything.

"Here's your drink, it just came out." You speak first, pushing the cup towards him.

Chan thanks you and drums his fingers on the side of the cup. "You know, I think this is the longest we've been together without you saying you hate me or something."

You shrug. "It's hard to be mad in a Starbucks. Place smells like heaven, plus you showed out in the game today."

He waves you off. "It's easy to trust you, we've known each other for long."

You snort. "More like you've bothered me for so long."

"Oh, admit it. I make your job more interesting. If it wasn't for me constantly causing a scene then you'd be bored out of your mind."

"I guess you have a point." You reluctantly agree as you sip your drink.

He smirks. "I know."

You purse your lips. "So, any updates with Karina? I know you two have been spending time together lately. Seems I was wrong."

Chan sighs. "No, I'm not into her in that way."

Brows raised, you chuckle, asking a question you already knew the answer to. "She's not interested or?"

"No, and neither was I." He states, eyes meeting yours. "She was never the one I liked."

You don't know why but you stutter a bit. "S-She wasn't?"

Chan looks away. "If it had been her and I out there today, I would've fell into the water."

"What do you mean by that, Chan?"

"You know what I mean by that."

...

You'd been avoiding Chan for the past two days, even constantly buttering up Joshua so you could be on the opposite side of wherever Chan was. It was wrong, you know, but you couldn't help it.

You were a coward, you couldn't even think about acknowledging any feelings Chan had for you. You only had a week left until the end of Summer anyways. Maybe if you ignored it you could move on.

You couldn't like Chan, not after the years you spent disliking him. Sure, had he done anything else to make you increasingly upset? Well, no. And he did usually brighten up slow days with his presence. And he did leave random water bottles by your chair when he knew you were too busy to go get one yourself. (He didn't know you knew, you figured this was his way of trying to get on your good side after the ordeal, but you never forgave him)

That was another thing too, how could he say he liked you after purposefully trying to embarrass you? Sure, it was a while ago, but you never forgot.

You're brought back from your thoughts when Jeonghan speaks, "I'm sorry, your child is not tall enough to ride this ride. It's regulation."

In front of you was an increasingly stubborn woman and what seemed to be her child as she whined about rules you had nothing to do with. "This is ridiculous!"

"It's regulated by the city, ma'am." Jeonghan shrugs. "You can leave a comment card up front if you have a complaint."

She just scoffs and storms off, stomping loudly down the stairs with her child in tow. You'd never understand some people.

Jeonghan turns to you. "Been here the whole summer and I'm still not used to it."

"You never get used to it, trust me."

He laughs in response, before changing the subject. "It's quiet up here, usually Chan's in the general vicinity by now."

You stiffen at the name. "He must be busy."

"He's never too busy for you." Jeonghan crosses his arms.

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Too busy to bother me?"

He suddenly turns serious. "I don't understand, Chan is nothing but nice to you and yet you're always ratting on him like he's a pest."

"You don't get it." You say, hoping he'll drop it.

He doesn't though. "Sure, he's a little overbearing at times but it's only because he really likes you."

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"Say that he likes me."

"Are you stupid?" Jeonghan spouts, and you're shocked at his tone. "The poor guy looks at you like you hung the stars yourself and you always just brush him off like he's a nuisance! But you know what? Even after all the mean things you do, he does nothing but talk greatly about you. About how you're the kindest soul, about how your smile lights up his day. How you're the prettiest girl he's ever laid eyes on."

You stay quiet, holding back tears.

"He thinks you're the greatest girl in the world, you've just never given him a chance to tell you." He finishes, leaning against the railing.

"I don't believe you."

Jeonghan turns away. "Then you'll have to ask him yourself."

You open your mouth to speak, but it's as if your friend reads your mind. "I-"

"Go," He interrupts, jutting his chin in that direction. "Before it's too late. He's with Vernon at the flow rider."

You nod and take off down the stairs, mindful of the puddles of water on the floor, but your urgency remains the same. You had to know, you had to hear it from him. You need to know why.

It's not too far in the afternoon that there's a huge line, only a couple people standing around but Vernon's helping them. Chan stands to the side looking unoccupied, now was your chance.

Wading through the people, your heart beating against your chest, you find yourself standing in front of Chan.

He averts his eyes, unsure of how to start the conversation. He had gotten the message from your avoidance, you had made your point. "You want to, um, ride the flow rider or..?"

You clear your throat. "Do you like me?"

He leans back at the question. "I thought it was obvious."

"And this isn't a prank?"

He wipes his palms on his pants. "W-Why would it be a prank?"

"I don't know! How am I supposed to believe you after that slushie?" You say, genuinely distraught.

"What slushie?"

"The one you spilled on when I first got hired here! What kind of joke was that?" You ask, finally glad to let it out into the air after holding it in for so long.

"What do you mean? I ran off to get napkins and when I came back you were gone!" Chan answered, confused on why you even remembered that.

"You could've told me! I thought you had ran off to laugh at me!" You argued.

He stands, ignoring the attention you two had drawn from others. "I would've said something but I clammed up and didn't know what to say, you were just so pretty-"

You straighten up. "Chan, you're a moron."

He stills. "I know."

"I thought you were cute before then too. But I felt so embarrassed after that, I even had to pay for a new one because Joshua said someone took the spare."

Chans eyes soften. "I grabbed it for you, but as we know, I never got to give it to you."

You look down at the new information. "Oh."

"I like you, I really do." He begins. "I like a lot of things about you. Like your perseverance, your passion for this job, your love for your friends. Just one of these days I wished you would've talked to me long enough without ripping me apart."

"I'm a bit harsh, aren't I?"

"It's one of the things I like about you, you're not scared to put anyone in their place." He admits, and it was true. Chan liked all of you, not just your better qualities.

"This whole time I thought you were the jerk when really it was me." You remark, eyes on your shoes and the floor beneath you.

"I don't blame you, I'd hate me too." Chan chuckles.

You shake your head. "I don't hate you. In fact, these past few days have been so draining. As much as I complained, you gave me something to look forward too. Knowing I'd see you do something to get my attention, just didn't know why you wanted it so bad."

"Now you know." He steps forward. "And between you and I, I've done a lot of embarrassing things to get you to look my way."

"Oh, you did them on purpose?" You tease.

He playfully rolls his eyes. "Obviously."

You assured him that you believed him as you smiled. He grabs your hand in his, the two of you standing in the sweltering heat of the park. He rubs his thumb over your palm. "So what now?"

"Take me on a date."

"You want to?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't." You respond. "I want to give us a chance."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

BONUS:

"That bastard really did it." Seungkwan remarks, eyes bulging out of their sockets as he watches you and Chan flirt by the lockers before closing.

Karina stares on as well. "They're so cute that I want to throw up."

"Give them a break." Minghao butts in. "Today is the last day."

"Thank the Lord." Vernon approaches the others. "As if he couldn't get more annoying about her, I've had to hear him recount every date they've had so far."

Minghao cringes. "She's the same way."

Karina agrees. "I'm not even that bad."

Seungkwan looks over at her. "So how are thing with Mingyu anyways?"

Karina put her hands up. "Oblivious as always."

Shrugging, Minghao leans on the wall. "Should we just ditch them here and go?"

"But we haven't finished cleaning-" Jeonghan, who appeared out of nowhere starts before his voice dies down. "Yeah, lets go."

"They'll definitely be too in love to notice us leaving."

"For sure."

[byyourside28]

Hit Me

Boxer!Matty x Reader

WC: 13.7k

Warnings: Matty is annoying/confusing asf, Toxic, Smut (m receiving oral, fingering, choking? Degrading, unprotected sex, begging, one or two smacks, very much dom Matty) Extremely long for no reason

Summary: The one person who you hate most on this fucking planet agrees to teach you boxing/self-defense.

A/n: I’m only reuploading fics I wanna do part 2 of <333 Maybe more idk

“Why don’t you just let Matty train you?” George voices just as Matty strides back into the living room, nursing a cold beer. His jaw is clenched, and his expression is one of pure annoyance I’ve ever seen him wear. Charli looks more hesitant than ever, George’s face is impassive as ever.

“G…” I trail off, stepping forward in front of him, “I can’t even be in the same room with him without wanting to gouge my eyes out, why would I subject myself to that torture voluntarily?” I cross my arms and glare at Matty, who seems unfazed by my hostility.

I’ve been wanting to get into boxing for a while now, not just to get in shape, but also to channel my anger and frustration into something productive. You know, to release the pent-up emotions that have been eating away at me for years. Instead of getting shit faced at the pub or smashing my fist into a wall, I figured learning to box might be a healthier outlet.

But Matty being the one to teach me? I rather eat glass.

The asshat and I always had a tumultuous history, to say the least. From childhood squabbles to teenage rivalries. We were always competing, whether it was for grades, attention, or even breathing the same air as each other. We just don’t click and never will.

“And I resist the urge to puke every time I see your face.” Matty answers instead, his gaze flicking briefly to mine before looking back to George. “What’re you on about?”

“Oh please, you're one to talk with that train wreck of a face. I'd rather stare down the barrel of a loaded gun,” I shoot back, my words dripping with sarcasm.

“Fine, but can I at least hold the gun?” Matty retorts, rolling his eyes. “Leave the clever comebacks to the adults.”

With furrowed brows, I look away from the stormy eyes to George, “Still think it’s a good idea?" He isn’t answering me though. His eyes are downcast, completely ignoring anything I’m saying. “George, are you even listening to me?" I snap, frustration simmering beneath my words.

“Stop with the screeching,” Matty answers for him again. “You're clearly giving him a headache.” He takes a sip of his beer, seemingly unbothered by the tension brewing in the room.

I huff in exasperation, my arms dropping to my sides. “This is ridiculous. I don't need him to train me. I can find someone else who won't make me want to tear my hair out.”

George finally looks up from his thoughts, his gaze shifting between me and Matty. “Both of you, stop it,” he says firmly. “He literally owns his own gym and has been training fighters for years. Who’s better to teach you?”

Charli clears her throat and speaks up for the first time since Matty re-entered the room. “Babe, he has a point.”

My frustration boils over as I throw my hands up in the air. “I don't care if he's trained the entire world, Charli! There has to be someone else out there who can teach me without making me want to strangle myself!”

“Feelings mutual, sweetheart.” Matty smirks, taking another leisurely sip of his beer. “And don't worry, I'm an expert at pulling sticks out of asses. And judging by how jittery you are, you could use some of my expertise.”

“I’m not jittery.” I argue, and Matty smirks slightly before dropping his gaze down to my body. My own eyes follow, huffing out with annoyance. Just like he had said—I’m fidgeting. Balling my hands into fists repeatedly, so tightly that my nails are definitely going to leave crescent moons into my palms, only to release them for a second before digging them back together.

“Whatev—shut up. I’m fine. I wouldn’t be all ‘jittery’ if you weren’t here, constantly pushing my buttons,” I retort, my voice dripping with irritation.

A silent question etched on his face as Matty's eyebrow arched upwards as he raked a hand through his gelled hair, “Oh, is that what this is about? Little ol' me driving you crazy? Well, I must say, it's quite entertaining.”

He sinks into the cushions of the oversized armchair next to mine, spreading his legs wide and settling into a comfortable position. His cold beer sits on his lower thigh, condensation dripping down the bottle and creating a small puddle on his black jeans.

Matty sighs like I’m genuinely an inconvenience, “Just let me train yo–”

“Shut up!” I cut him off, crossing my arms over my chest. “You know what? Fine. If that’s what it takes to shut you up, then you can train me. But just know, I’m doing this purely out of spite and not because I actually want to learn from you.”

I can tell he’s trying to control himself, which to be honest I’m actually surprised to see. I had expected him to lash out or at least tell me to watch how I spoke to him, but he didn’t. He just clenched his jaw and closed his eyes briefly, nodding after standing completely still for two heartbeats. “Thank you.”

I swear to god you could’ve heard a pin drop. “Wha...?” Charli and George’s expression matches mine: wide eyes, furrowed brows, lips slightly parted. “Did you just—could you repeat that? Let me record it.”

“Piss off,” Matty rolls his eyes, but I can’t help notice how his lips are threatening to turn up in the slightest at the corners of his mouth before he’s rolling his tongue inside his cheek to suppress it.

“Right, okay...” I nod, clearing my throat. “So when do you wanna do this?”

“What about tomorrow morning?” Charli suggests, leaning back into George, crossing her ankles.

"So soon?”

I watch as Matty’s adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows roughly, the line between his brows deepening with each inhale. “ Fuck ,” he hisses, finally opening his eyes to find mine, “okay, okay. But I swear to God. You better liste—”

“I’ll listen,” I reiterate, rolling my eyes.

“Tomorrow.” Matty says lowly, and I open my mouth to argue again but per usual, he’s cutting me off, “Tomorrow you meet me at the gym. We will go over everything; the basics, the techniques, and most importantly, your attitude. And trust me, princess,” He says with a smirk, “your attitude is going to need a lot of work.”

It’s my turn to close my eyes. It had to be tomorrow? The first day at my new job? Seriously? “Is that a problem, princess? ‘Cause if it is, don’t think I’m agreeing to this a second time.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” I rush out, leaning from the arm chair I’m sitting in. The second my hand is reaching for his bicep, his eyes glancing down, I’m dropping it back to my side. No touching , okay. “I... I’ll figure it out. I’ll call my boss tomorrow morning, and just tell him I have a family emergency—”

And like a rubber band being snapped back, George is jumping from the couch and rushing towards me. “Boss? No fuckin’ way! You got the job?” A wide smile graces his face, completely ignoring Matty next to me me as he knocks his long legs into Matty’s knees and wraps his arms around my neck in a tight hug. “Why didn’t you tell us? Oh my god, we have to celebrate!”

“George…” Matty drones, rolling his eyes as George ignores him and only squeezes me tighter. “George. There is more important shit to party over. Celebrate later, yeah?”

I pat George’s back, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. “He’s right for once. The job is just a shit position as a therapist’s receptionist anyways.”

“Shut the hell up,” George frowns, “that’s a step in the door. Any success is one to celebrate! I’m going to get you so fuckin’ wasted...” The mischdvious glint in his eye and the smirk on his lips nearly has me grateful when Matty shoves him away, muttering something under his breath but I can’t catch it.

It almost doesn’t sound like English.

“Come on,” Matty juts his chin towards the front door as he sets his beer on the sidetable and stands up, “say your goodbyes. I’ll drive you back to your place since it’s on the way to mine.”

He doesn’t wait for any argument as he pushes past George, his footsteps fading until I hear the door open and then close. I huff out a breath, standing and turning to my friends with a slight frown, “So much for a fun night, huh? Pray we crash and the car hits his side.”

“There’s always next weekend,” Charli hums, wrapping her arms around my neck to pull me into a hug that’s tighter than I thought physically possible from her. She is obviously fit, but there’s definitely some muscle hiding in there. “Don’t let him ruin your mood,” she offered as a way to lift the frown on my lips, “knock him in the balls or somethin’. That always works.”

George hisses, sitting back down onto the couch and I peek over her shoulder, holding back a laugh when he subconsciously lowers his hand to cover his crotch. “Definitely works.” He mutters, shuddering his shoulders like he’s remembering the exact thing happening to him.

“Hasn’t said that kind of thing since,” Charli purrs into my ear, giggling as she pulls back and skips away from me and to George. “Oh stop whining, I barely tapped you then.” She chastises with a playful smile, sinking down onto his lap to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

I can hear George mumbling that ‘ it didn’t feel like that ’ as I shake my head and make my way back into the foyer.

“Haven't got all night, princess.” I hear Matty complain, opening the front door to pop his head through. “Let’s fucking go—I’ve got shit to do.”

If my eyes could roll all of the way back into my skull, they would have.

His hand is gripping my wrist and pulling me away from the house. He only smiles when I huff out in annoyance, rolling my eyes. The wind nipped at my skin as we stepped out onto the porch and down the small set of stairs onto the sidewalk.

As soon as my feet touch the solid ground, Matty’s hand is snatched away like I had burned him and he’s stalking off towards the blacked out SUV. Chrome letters spell out ‘Range Rover’ and I can’t stop the incredulous scoff that falls from my lips. Just another thing to add to the list of why he’s arrogant in my mind. Who needs such a flashy car? Only people who need to prove somethin-

“Are you comin’ or just going to stand there like an idiot all night?” Matty barks the question, snapping me out of the trance I was in. He plops down into the driver's seat as I follow suit and hop into the passenger side.

The car hums to life as he turns the switch, bright headlights illuminating the street in front of us as he speeds down the asphalt in silence. I take the opportunity to peek over at him as the darkness of the night envelopes us, He’s angry or worried about something though, that's obvious.

Not that it’s surprising, he seldom doesn’t look like this; his jaw is always tense, knuckles flexed as he grips tightly onto whatever he’s holding- this time being the steering wheel as he rounds the corner of a street.

“Stop staring at me,” he rasps, his voice gravel through the silence. His accent is thicker than I’ve heard before, and it sends a shiver down my spine. I make a pretend effort to look away, but can’t help sneaking a glance back at him.

I subconsciously wonder if he tries to hide it when he’s around others. As he pulls to a stop light, his eyes find mine, lips pressed tightly together with a brow raised in my direction. “What is it? Do I have somethin’ on me?”

My cheeks tint, and I shake my head, quickly looking forward. His gaze stays trained on me, even if I couldn’t see him out of my peripheral, I could feel it. Tidal waves crashing over me causing goosebumps to rise on every inch of exposed skin. Or maybe I’m just delusional and it’s the air nipping at me from the window that Matty has almost completely rolled down.

“Quit staring at me ,” I shoot back, wrapping my arms around myself, “and could you roll the damn window up? It’s freezing.”

With the switch of the red light to green, Matty is taking back off and turning to face the road. The entire ride that’s left is spent in silence, save for the rumble of tires and Matty’s sliver rings that he subconsciously knocks against the hard leather of the steering wheel every other minute or so.

He never rolled the window up, either.

I had never been more relieved pulling into my place. As soon as the car was shoved into park, I was jumping from the passenger seat and racing towards the front door as I fumbled in my purse for my set of keys. I didn’t even know I was being followed until Matty’s low, raspy chuckle catches my attention. He is leant against one of the railings, his elbow propped onto the metal as he hides his smile with the knuckles of his fist.

“God, what are you doing? I’m more than capable of getting into my own apartment. Just fucking leave already.”

“You sure,” he taunts, eyes dropping down to where I’m still digging for my keys, “seems like you’re having some trouble.”

“Alright,” I huff, finally pulling them out and shoving them into the deadbolt before pushing the door open, “there. I’m in-”

My words are cut off as he hurries past me as if he owns the fucking place. “What,” I stutter, looking out to the empty street back into my living room. “Matty, what the hell are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer me, just continues looking around the room a bit crazed. “Matty.” I say again, my voice finding more confidence rather than the anxiety I usually feel around him.

“Where is the bathroom? I’ve got to fuckin’ piss.” Matty groans, not even waiting for me to answer before walking down my hall and making his way right to my bedroom. I rush behind him, stuttering to a stop when he pushes the door open and freezes himself.

I hadn’t been expecting anyone, and the place definitely looked like it. Clothes strewn across the floor, a few dirty mugs with half-drank tea on my nightstand, my vinyls stacked next to my record player unsteadily. “I, uh...”

He trails into the room, going directly to the vinyls that are staggering a bit with his heavy footsteps. For some strange reason, my heart sputters as his finger traces over the letters of the top of my Eagles vinyl. It was a cheap one, the cover and slip fucked up to the point it was barely eligible, but the actual vinyl worked perfectly. He turns the knob on the record player, the music casting over the silence in the room.

With each beat of the drum and strum of the guitar, my heartbeat increases. Music is how I hide, it’s the only thing that’s ever truly been mine . My father, mother... they never understood my attachment to it. They never understood I used it as a gateway into another life. One where their judgment wasn’t thrown in my face 24/7.

Music is my escape... and it just makes my skin itch to have someone else listening to it. Judging it.

‘Raven hair and ruby lips ,’ Don Henley’s voice rips right through my body, and it’s like it does Matty’s too. He turns to face me, his hand lingering on the knob with an unreadable expression on his face. ‘Sparks fly from her fingertips, echoed voices in the night, she’s a restless spirit on an endless flight. ’

Just as the band's voice melts into one another, breaking into the bridge before the chorus, the knob is twisted back and the record player clicks off. “That’s nothing-”

“It’s a great song.” He whispers, his brows furrowing like he’s confused about everything happening. “The uh- the bathroom?”

“It’s across the hall.” I rush out, moving aside as he shoves past me and disappears into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

As soon as the door closes behind him, I’m rushing out just as quickly as he did. My hands are shaking again. With the silence around me, my thoughts have ample opportunity to start screaming inside my mind. Preparing me for whatever insults Matty will throw my way when he steps back out.

“Whatever he says doesn’t matter. He’s a fucking idiot.” I whisper to myself, rushing to grab a mug from the cabinet above my sink and the container of tea bags that sit perfectly beside them. “He’s an asshole.”

Just as my tea kettle starts to whistle, I hear the sink in the bathroom turn on. Fuck, fuck .

With shaking hands, I pour the boiling water into my mug, looking over my shoulder as Matty makes his way back into the kitchen. His footing is slower, more hesitant than when he first arrived and shoved inside like it was his home. Brown eyes meet mine, and it makes me shiver. It’s like he’s looking right through me, like he can see everything I’m thinking- feeling.

Gross.

I blame him for the curse that falls from my lips in a hiss, turning back to the counter as I over pour the water in my mug. “ Fuck , shit-“ I mutter, dropping the kettle back into my sink and turning the cool water on with my other hand.

“Christ, Y/n.” Matty huffs, quickly making his way behind me. Chest to back, my shaking only increases as he leans over my shoulder to inspect the red area.

“I leave you alone for five fuckin’ minutes. Let me see it,” in a blink he’s stepping out from behind me and flanking my side, pulling my hand out from under the water. He turns my hand palm up a few times underneath my stove's overhead light before humming out a teasing, “you’ll live. Sadly .”

Matty looks up through his lashes, holding my gaze for a few heartbeats before I’m able to gather myself and step away. He clears his throat, letting our hands fall back to our sides, “tell me you’re smart enough to have a simple first aid kit.”

“Under the bathroom sink.” I answer, cursing how fazed my voice sounds from his touch and gaze. Hopefully he won’t question it, chalk it up to getting hurt instead.

He disappears again, letting me catch my first breath since he walked out of the bathroom. What is with this man? I can’t stand him- that’s it. That’s why my breath hitches when he’s around, that’s why my heart beats quicker when he nears me. It’s all out of anger. Definitely.

Chills run down my spine as I put my hand back under the water, trying my best to ignore the want to turn around and watch for him to come back. I don’t really have a chance to think anything through before he’s emerging from my hallway with the plastic container in his hands. He glances over to me, holding the gaze a second longer than needed before opening the container and digging through the various medical supplies inside.

Needles, alcohol, bandages, thread for the needles in case someone needed impromptu stitches, a multitude of different kinds of antibiotic and numbing ointments, medical tape, a small ace bandage rolled up... it had it all. Maybe I lied when I said it was small. But who knows when something might happen? At least I’m prepared.

Matty cocks his head to the side, furrowing his brows when he looks back to me. “Plannin’ for a fuckin’ war or something?”

“You never know.” I mutter, turning away from his gaze to turn the water off, rolling my eyes at myself for being embarrassed. “I’m fine, Matty. Go home or wherever you go whenever I don’t see you. I’m good.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he scoffs, tapping the island to get my attention, “Come on. Hop up here.”

I close my eyes, inhaling deeply through my nose. Control your tongue, Y/n. 

There’s no need to start something else.

Pressing my lips tightly together, I turn back to face him after patting my hands dry with a dish towel and ignore his gaze as I make my way to him. He steps back to give me room as I hop onto the counter, making sure to leave my burnt hand out in front of me. I didn’t think I was going to make it at first, but Matty was sure to catch my outstretched wrist, helping me up with ease without actually touching where it was stinging.

“Thanks.” I mutter, swallowing down the nervous lump in my throat.

“S’nothin’,” he shrugs, stepping closer to reach the contents he’s laid out beside my right thigh. “How did you even manage this? It’s fuckin’ tea, for fucks sake.”

He chuckles, shaking his head as he unscrews the lid to my bottle of aloe vera. Matty squeezes some of the ointment onto his finger, gently running it over my palm and around the curve of my thumb. With a hiss, I jerk back, but he’s quick to hold me still by stepping between my legs and holding my hip with his free hand. “Stop bein’ a baby.”

“Stop being an ass.” I shoot back, quickly looking down as he starts massaging it into my skin a bit more. My hand is the least of my worries right now; the way my hip is burning where he’s gripping it, my body suddenly hyper aware of my calves clinging to the outside of his thighs subconsciously.

“How does that feel?” He says in almost a whisper, looking up to me through his lashes, ceasing any movement of his fingertips and I’m confused when I wish he hadn’t stopped.

What the actual hell am I thinking?

“It’s good–feels good. Better.” I say after a moment of silence, holding his eyes.

As I looked into his eyes, a wave of surprise washed over me. His irises weren't just the ordinary shitty brown I had always thought them to be. Instead, a ring of dark, rich brown surrounded his pupils like a halo, fading into a warm sunset hue around his pupils. It was as if I was gazing into pools of liquid caramel.

They’re actually really beautif—

“Good,” he breaks my daze with a slight nod, “hand me the wrap.”

With the hand not held in his, I reach for one of the rolled gauzes, sucking in a breath when my shirt rides up a bit and his fingertip touches my bare skin. “No, not that one.” He huffs as I hold out a pink one to him. “Not unless you want the shit to stick to the ointment and have to rip it off later.” Instead of removing the hand from my hip, he jerks his chin, “that one–the white one, yeah.”

Whether it’s intentional or not, his thumb rubs against my bare skin one last time before he pulls it away completely. “There’s no blisters or anythin’,” he mumbles quietly, turning my hand to inspect it thoroughly, “should heal just fine. Still feel okay? Not burning more than it was?” He looks up for an answer, but there’s no way I can verbally respond.

Not with how close he is, the way his cologne is overtaking any reminisce of my candle I had burned all day, how his eyes seem to bore directly into me. I shook my head no, and I was waiting for him to complain but he didn't. He nods back at me wordlessly as well and starts to unroll the gauze, only stopping once there’s plenty to start wrapping my hand.

Another chill runs down my spine as he takes my hand in his silently, starting at my wrist as he slowly starts to close the white wrap down my hand. He’s focused; head bent down closer to make sure he’s doing it well enough, not muttering a word. I can’t even be fucked about the burn or worry about how it’s going to feel in the morning. All I can focus on is how close he’s gotten, somehow closer than before and our bodies nearly touching now.

With a final turn of the wrap, he straightens his back. Only an inch or so away, I can feel his breath feather against my cheek. His eyes flit between mine, not dropping my hand or stepping away. “Does that feel good? Is it too tight?”

“No.” I whisper, too afraid to raise my voice and break whatever the fuck is going on between us right now.

And for whatever reason, I lean closer into him. My calves tighten on his thighs, one of his hands comes back to rest on my hip. My mouth is slightly parted, taking shallow breaths as his eyes search every inch of my face and dropping to my lips every other second. “Matty…” I can’t help but whisper, a bit confused and too wound up to hold it in.

He watches the way my lips and tongue move to say his name, fluttering his eyes closed briefly before nodding softly at me like he is just as torn and confused as I am. He doesn’t say anything, but tightens the grasp he has on me.

My free hand comes up to the back of his neck, the tips of my fingers brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck before tangling my fingers into it. His head tilts as I pull on the hair, the stubble of his jaw grazing against mine as our lips just brush against one anothers.

And then my phone rings.

It’s a familiar ringtone, one I had set for Charli. “Shit, shit, shit...” I curse, dropping my hand and hopping down from the counter as Matty quickly steps away from me. “God, what the hell does she want? I was just there.”

I rush over to my couch, digging through my purse to find the phone and stop the incessant ringing. Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, my fingers grasp around the cell and I pull it out. “Not right now,” I mutter to myself, hitting the decline button to effectively hang up on her and stop the annoying ass tone I had set.

“Sorry,” I huff, turning back to face Matty but I’m met with his back. He doesn’t give me another look or a word before he’s rushing out of my apartment and slamming the door closed and I’m left standing utterly fucking confused as ever.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Time is a disconcerting thing. To me, at least. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours and all you can do is watch the time pass. Or distract yourself with mundane tasks, maybe sleep it away. I can’t ever sleep though. I don’t have that luxury.

I tried distracting myself, but there wasn’t anything to do. I had nothing to clean after tidying up my room, there were no stupid reality tv shows to get sucked into. So, I watched the clock hands tick by and felt my chest grow heavier with each passing second.

My mind wandered to Matty more than I care to admit. How he sounded, the way his eyes naturally caught the lights that he passed, every curve and sharp jut of his body. How his fingers felt on me. How I wished I had felt his lips, to know if they were as soft as they looked.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Madness.

I’m gonna go crazy and I’m not being cheeky or dramatic. I truly think if I don’t sleep, if I can’t get him out of my fucking head, I’m gonna start hallucinating.

The only good thing about staying up all night and well into the morning is getting ahead of things. My boss didn’t question me further when I lied and said it was a family emergency and why I couldn’t make my shift. He actually seemed concerned and it made my stomach sick with guilt... but it had to be done.

I had downed about three cups of coffee and threw a fit like a five year old when I realized I’d have to go grocery shopping soon because I was out of creamer. Black it was.

Definitely woke me up, though.

Remembering the brighter sides of things. A lot easier said than done, but I was trying.

Charli and George had both texted me last night to question me on why I never answered. I don’t know if Matty had gone back to George and Charli’s place or if he had said anything, but they seemed worried regardless. I was so confused when Matty left like he had, I had forgotten to answer them until this morning around six or seven.

I was in the shower, washing the suds out of my hair when my phone rang. It wasn’t any of the ringtones I had set, just one of the preprogrammed ones that come with the phone. Making sure to wash the soap from the crown of my head so it doesn’t travel down into my eyes, I step out of my shower and rush to my phone that’s facedown on my sink countertop.

“Hello?” I breathe out, the steam and air around me making it a bit hard to take a proper breath.

“Y/n,” his voice breaks through the water still pouring from my shower head, making my heart stutter even more than it already was, “what’re you doin’ in there? Let me in.”

My brows furrow, about to ask what he’s talking about until I hear the resounding echo of a knock on my front door. “Matty, tell me you aren’t at my house at eight in the morning. You said to meet you there!”

“Sorry, princess.” He replies cooly. I don’t have to be looking at him to know he’s smirking. “Now open up before I break this stupid fuckin’ door down.”

Another knock, harder this time, has me wrapping a towel around my body and racing out of the bathroom. My neighbors already give me a hard time and have complained to the landlord whenever I’d accidentally play my music too loud. I cannot get another complaint about some belligerent man on my door stepping yelling at eight in the morning.

Slipping on the hardwood as I round the couch, I nearly slam into the door as I reach to unlock it. “Just stop, Jesus, I’m opening it,” I hiss through the door. All I get back is a chuckle from the other side.

Arrogant asshole.

When I peel the door open, his fist is hung between us, like he was going to deliberately knock on it again. “What is wrong with you?” I huff, moving to the side to wave him in.

“Me?” He scoffs, sliding past me casually. “Who the fuck spends thirty minutes in a shower?” I roll my eyes, locking the deadbolt before turning back to face him.

I’m suddenly aware that I’m nude save the towel that’s tied around my chest and falling down to the middle of my thighs, “what were you doin’ in there, princess?” Brown eyes trace down my body, sending shivers down my spine and goosebumps on my legs.

Why the fuck does that keep happening?!

I probably look like a fish as my mouth opens and closes repeatedly, failing to voice any of the words my brain is throwing at me. “I’m not even going to entertain that question,” I quip, tightening my hold on the towel as I walk away from his wandering eyes, the soap threatening to spill into my eyes as it stops it’s trail at my eyebrows, “give me ten minutes and I’ll be back out.”

Pausing by the encasing of the hallway, I glance over my shoulder with one of my more serious expressions, “Do not touch anything. Just sit there and be quiet.”

Matty holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender, plopping down on the couch I had spent all night rolling around on with a cheeky grin.

Not giving him another glance, I hurry to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. The room is hazy, the steam covering every inch of the surface and clouding the mirror. So much for preserving water.

I wash the soap and conditioner from my hair quicker than I ever have, coating my skin in my body wash and washing it off just as rapidly and before I know it I’m stepping out of the shower stall again. This time, the towel goes on my hair and the clothes I had laid out on my sink counter are pulled over my body.

The fabric stretches across my damp skin, and if I had been alone I would’ve air-dried. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than clothes clinging to your body when they aren’t meant to.

Inching to the end of the hall, stepping on the tips of my toes to try and be as quiet as possible, I strain my eyes to find Matty. The couch is empty, the room dead silent.

Oh shit, don’t tell me the hallucinating started from my lack of sleep?

“No, no, no...” I mutter, walking deeper into the living room. There’s nothing to even hint he had been here; no lingering scent of his cologne, no footprints in my area rug from his shoes. “No. It’s not possible.” I shake my head, racing to the door before peeling it open in one swift movement. “He was here.”

But the street outside of my flat is empty. There’s no SUV, he isn’t standing outside by the railing like I had thought. Hoped.

My hands are shaking when I close the door back, and I rest my forehead on it for a few seconds to stabilize my heaving chest. “I swear you were here.”

“I’m right here.”

I whip around, a hand to my chest as the voice looms through the air. There, standing in front of me is Matty, a furrow on his brows as he watches me. “Why are you talking to yourself? You look like you saw a ghost-”

For whatever reason, my feet are racing forward and I’m throwing my arms around his shoulders. He stands completely still, arms at his sides, but it doesn’t stop me from squeezing even tighter.

It takes a full moment of me standing there, molding our bodies to one another before he clears his throat and I pull back just as quickly as I had gone in. “Oh my god.” I breathe, taking another step back. “Sorry, um—my mind is just playing tricks. M’just tired.”

“I was just checking out your vinyl collection...” he mumbles off, swallowing down roughly. “I didn’t leave.”

“No, no.” I shake my head, pulling the towel from my hair and rubbing my fingers through it. “Just drop it, okay? Don’t bring it up.”

He looks torn, like he can’t decide to drop the entire thing or question me fully, but after a couple of heartbeats, he’s nodding at me. “Yeah, let’s go. You ready?”

I don’t miss the way his eyes rake up and down my body.

“Just have to grab some sneakers,” I mutter, not meeting his eyes as he continues staring directly at me. Into me. “I’ll be right back.”

Matty stays silent as he nods me on, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and for some reason, it makes my stomach fall. I shouldn’t have touched him.

Last night was a moment of weakness. One that will not happen again.

I take a moment to myself when I step into my room, breathing deeply and evenly. I can’t stand how Matty makes me feel. Confused, angry and pent up all at once.

The thought of him just standing there waiting on me makes me hurry though, one last breath before pulling the closest pair of black sneakers on as I hop back out into the hallway on one foot, effectively pulling the other on as I do.

His eyes meet mine as soon as I’m on level ground, an expression I can’t quite read. “I’m ready.” I break the silence, his body barely tensing further at the sound of my voice. Matty clears his throat and gestures with a flick of his chin for me to follow him as he steps towards my front door, hands still in his pockets.

I remain silent as I grab my purse, slinging it over my shoulder and locking the door to my place behind us. I remain silent as I climb into the passenger seat of a car I hadn’t seen before, one more sleek and obscure than his Range Rover. It’s why I hadn’t realized he was actually here when I checked. I didn’t bother asking if it was his.

I couldn’t articulate a single word, let alone an entire sentence.

Matty didn’t try to speak to me either. I think he was just as confused as I was at my actions. Why I thought it was okay to touch him, to hug him?

Or he just didn’t care. I don’t know. 

The only reason I could breathe properly, calming my heaving chest, was the driver's side window he had down again to smoke a cigarette. The air outside was warm, and comforting. I wasn’t going to ask him to roll it up this time- even though he’d most likely ignore me again if I did.

We had been driving for almost twenty minutes when I finally picked my head up from its gaze on my lap and took in our surroundings. We were at his gym already. The gravel crunches under his tires as he throws the car in park and that’s when I finally turn my head with furrowed brows as I realized the parking lot is completely empty.

“Why is no one he—”

“Get out.” He grunts in response, killing the engine and not waiting for me before peeling himself from the driver's side.

My curiosity is what has me moving, following suit and half jogging to match his long strides. He made sure not to hold the door open for me as he walked through the lobby, walking behind the front desk to flick multiple light switches on. My eyes squint as the bright lights blinded me.

As he rounded the front desk, Matty glanced quickly over his shoulder at me to make sure I was paying attention enough to follow him. I was though—that’s for certain. Any and every previous thought was buried deep into my subconscious, now solely focused on the man in front of me.

My mind is only filled with him, how great he looked in blue track pants and the black tank top that was almost like a second skin clinging to his chest. His shoulder blades flexed with each slight movement he made, his inked biceps on complete display.

He had my utmost attention whether he knew it or not.

I nearly ran into the back of him when he came to an abrupt halt, too busy picturing what he looked like out of the shirt rather than really paying attention to where we were going.

A door, grey metal door, stood in front of us.

“Watch where you’re goin’,” he mutters roughly, pushing the door open and ushering me to step in first. His body stays planted where he stands though, so I bend slightly and walk underneath his arm, “lights on the left.”

Blindly reaching for the switch, my hand travels up exposed brick until finally finding it, flicking it up so the room is cast in a soft glow. The floors are concrete, save for a few mats on the far wall that look like yoga mats to a point. It’s a fairly small room, especially with the huge boxing ring in the middle.

“So…” I trail off, flicking my eyes on everything around me, “How is this gonna go?”

The door shuts behind me, all of the light cut off casting from outside the door and making this room even dimmer than before. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” I don’t turn when I feel his chest press lightly against my back, my body still standing in the doorway and leaving little to no space for him to maneuver around me. “You’ll see soon enough.”

His breath fans across my neck, and I’m shot back to last night. How close we were, the same ragged breath on my skin. This time though, before anything transpires, he’s pulling away and clearing his throat. “Let’s just focus on getting this day done and over with, yeah?” He croaks, turning his back to me as he walks further into the room.

“Sound good to you?” he huffs, finally turning around to face me completely.

I’m nodding before my mind can contemplate what he’s even saying, “okay.”

Matty stares at me for a beat, like he’s trying to decide if I’m bullshitting him or not, before finally dropping his head in relief and nodding more to himself than me. “Alright,” he mumbles, my skin tingling as he looks back up to me, “come over here.”

My feet are moving forward, the gentle demand sending my body into autopilot, but Matty is quick to shake his head and I stop mid-step. “No. Try again. Hold your head up, don’t look so... frail.”

“M’ not fucking frail.” I mouth, my voice coming out more harsh than intended.

I hadn’t even taken a full step when he’s holding up a hand to stop me again, “Do better. Again.”

Matty looked me up and down, a brow slightly arched and his lips curving up into a smirk that I recently wanted to smack off of his face. It was the same expression he'd given me every time he made me stop and retry.

“I’m not doing it again for the 50th fucking time,” I huffed, slightly surprised that I was winded from just walking , “The fuck does walking have to do with anything?”

“That was it.” Matty cuts me off, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s how you show your power. Like you own the fucking place. Like everyone, there should be worshipping at your feet.” My breath catches as he steps forward, dropping his lips down to the curve of my ear, “Understand, princess?”

My heartbeat was suddenly beating erratically for an entire reason rather than the exertion.

“I guess?” I whisper, freezing as he reaches up to my neck, pushing the hair over my shoulder. Closing my eyes, my head is tilting on its own accord towards the ceiling, waiting for the feeling of his lips pressing against my pulse point.

It doesn’t come, though.

He steps away just as I feel the scruff of his cheek brush against mine, the same sly smirk on his lips. “Now that we know you can walk ,” he taunts, “can you fight? At all? Defend yourself in the slightest?”

“I don’t know,” I hum, fighting back the slightest curve of my lips, “let’s test it out to see. Are we getting in the ring or what?” I ask, motioning to the huge boxing ring a few feet behind him.

“No,” he answers immediately, eyeing the ring before turning back to me and letting his arms uncross, “Need to loosen you up first. Go pick a mat and let me change real quick.”

My eyes follow him as he trails off from the middle of the room, heading towards a door I hadn’t even noticed to my left. It must be a small bathroom or a locker room of sorts. I caught the sight of a single shower stall when the door opened before it closed behind him. I stood there, just staring at the chipped paint of the door for a full minute before having to mentally kick myself to get moving. There’s no telling what Matty would say or do if he walked back out and I was just staring at him like a creep.

Pulling the hair tie from around my wrist, I pull my hair into a pony and walk towards the mats that are placed directly in front of the mirrors. One looks used more than the other, the vinyl almost ripped and faded from the amount of wear. Choosing the one beside it on the off chance that the worn one was Matty’s choice, I settled down and faced the mirror.

Looking at my reflection, making sure the outfit I rushed to put on looked decent. A pair of black athletic leggings and a simple t-shirt overtop one of my sports bras. As I straighten my legs out in front of me, rubbing the muscles in my thighs, the door where Matty had disappeared behind opens, and he walks out with his eyes instantly finding mine in the mirror.

He’s not wearing the tanktop anymore, his bare tattooed chest is on display now and the blue track pants were replaced with a pair of black athletic shorts. As I drag my eyes back up to his face in the mirror, he has stopped a few feet behind me, a single brow raised at me in question.

Without a word, he starts forward again, only looking away from my reflection when he sits down on the mat across from me. “Look at me.” He says hoarsely, and I find myself spinning in his direction in a split second. “Your legs sore?”

“A bit.” The word came out low, ashamed from being tight from just walking, but to my surprise, Matty just nodded and sat up on his knees, a look of focus on his face as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Lay back.” He instructs, scooting around my body until he’s at my side and looking down at me. “Being sore isn’t bad, just lets us know what we’ve got to work on, yeah? It’s my fault. I should’ve made you stretch before working out. But let's be fair, I didn’t think walking would wind ya so much.”

I roll my eyes and start to sit up, “If you’re just going to insult me then I’m leaving.”

“No,” he shuts me down, pushing down onto my shoulder and making me lay back flat onto my back, “You aren’t.”

“I’m starting to think you know fuck all.” I trail off, and Matty finds my eyes once more but doesn’t retort with anything witty or sharp. He just keeps his mouth closed and shakes his head tightly, angling his head away from me. Which might be worse than anything else. “Okay,” I swallow down any of the insults threatening to tumble past my lips, “what’s next?”

Brown eyes look at me again, and I have to remind myself how to breathe. His hand reaches down to my shin, just hovering over the exposed skin where the leggings end before glancing back to mine, “Can I touch you here?”

Anywhere.

That’s what my mind was dying for my mouth to echo, but instead, I nod once at him. He sits in the same position, holding my gaze until I realize what he wants. “Yes. You can touch me.”

Matty braces one hand on my shin, causing electricity to spark throughout my body while the other comes to my thigh, right above my knee. “You’ve got to stretch these muscles, so they don’t get all coiled and you end up limping tomorrow from the pain.” His words are quiet as he guides my leg up towards my chest, keeping my knee bent while he does. “It helps strengthen the muscles here. Got it?”

I nod at his question and the hand above my knee only moves once my knee touches my stomach, opting to reach across my waist and hold my left leg that tries to raise with the other. “Is that too much?” he asks, eyes glancing over to me to gauge my reaction.

“No.” I huff out, not from the actual stretch, but from how his hands felt on me. “It’s fine, I’m good.”

“Breathe.” He comments, and with the realization that I had been holding my breath, I let out a prolonged exhale slowly. “That’s it. Feel the burn still, is it easing any?” He releases the hold on my shin, straightening my leg and subconsciously squeezing my thigh as he runs it up the curve of my leg.

I have to look away from his face to steady my breathing, closing my eyes briefly. “It’s better, yeah.”

He moved to my other side then, doing the same stretch on my left leg, but making sure to watch my breathing and if I was tensing at all. I wasn’t going to tell him I was flexible enough for this. It was selfish, but I didn’t want to lose the feeling of sparks his hands erupted on me.

Too soon, he moves away and sits back down on the mat across from me, facing me. For another twenty minutes, he walks me through various stretches. Ones that I knew, and some that I didn’t. My arms, shoulders, legs, my core... they felt free and tight all at once. I don’t know if that’s from what Matty had me doing, or if it was just Matty in general.

He rose to his feet after he seemed satisfied that I was loose enough, and I followed suit.

I stood next to the ring as he jogged off to the side, swiping a bottle of water from a case that was tossed carelessly against one of the walls. He brings it to his lips, swallowing nearly all of it in a few big gulps and letting out a huff when he catches me watching.

“Thirsty?” He asks, extending the bottle towards me. I nod my head, waiting for him to bend down and grab my own, but he just walks towards me and places the bottle he had just drank from in my hands. “What? Water is good for you–don’t tell me you’re one of those people who never drinks it. For fucks sake... we should’ve started with that-”

“Shut up.” I groan, putting the lip of the bottle to my mouth and swallowing down the last few drinks of the warm water. I would’ve much rather have had a cold bottle, but I wasn’t going to complain in front of him and have him chastise me like a fucking child again. “Better?” I ground out when it’s empty, holding it back out to him.

I also wasn’t going to aid in his ego and tell him how great the water felt on my utterly dry throat.

“Have you ever been taught defense?” He asks again, his earlier question still mulling around in my mind. I could lie to him, act as frail as he thinks I am, or I could be straight up with him and tell him that I knew a little.

I opted with the element of surprise for him, “No.”

He nodded at me and flung the empty water bottle behind him, “That’s okay. We’ve got time to teach you properly.” Time. a finicky little thing, isn't it? “We can start with the basics, how does that sound?”

“Easy enough.” I conclude, but dropping any hint of confidence when he fucking smirks at me as we step into the ring and he places gloves on my hands before doing the same.

He begins circling me, a shark to its prey, looking for where to strike. My breath catches when he stops behind me, and if it wasn’t for the mirror on the wall showing me what he was doing, I may have been the one caught off guard. The second he started towards me, I ducked to the side and avoided his arms that were coming out to wrap around my body.

Matty lets out a breathy laugh, one that sounds more mocking than genuine. “You won’t have a reflection in the real world, Y/n. Don’t use that fuckin’ mirror. Use what’s inside your head. I need you to think, understand? I know you’re smart-ish use that to your advantage.”

The small smile I was wearing is swiped from my lips at being caught and I nod, “Whatever, Matthew. Give me your best.”

“You wouldn’t last a second with my best, princess.” He taunts, sizing me up once again as he stalks towards me. “If it were just you and me, an alleyway or a hallway, one that’s dark and you couldn’t see, what would you do?”

I glance around me, about to turn away and sprint away from him but he is shaking his head. “High chances they will chase you. What do you do?”

“I fight back.” I answer, and he nods again, stopping when he’s a foot in front of me. “But they’re bigger than me.”

“But you’re smarter ,” he counters, his gloved hand coming out to poke me in the chin, “and you��ve got a mouth on you, yeah? One that never shuts the fuck up? Use that if you have to. They won’t want a scene, so give them one. Scream, yell. Get someone’s attention if that’s what it takes.”

His glove lingers on my chin, “Use my mouth. I’ve got it.” The words are low, the familiar electricity crackling around us with him this close to me.

In the blink of an eye, his hand is off my chin and wrapping an arm around my shoulder to spin me, the bend of his arm pressing against my windpipe. “Rule number one of defense,” he murmurs against the shell of my ear, “don’t panic.” Matty’s arm tightens a fraction, “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” I manage to croak out, attempting to shake my head before remembering I’m quite literally being held stationary. He wasn’t, not to the point of hurting me, just a slight discomfort that I haven’t felt in a while.

A feeling that had my heart racing with adrenaline.

With my left hand, I reach up to his forearm, already anticipating the soft shake of his head at that being the wrong thing to do. Before the words can leave his mouth though, I throw my right elbow back into the exposed area of his side and twist out of his grasp.

“Surprise,” I hum with a smirk, eyes glinting as Matty instantly reaches to the area I know has to be stinging.

His lips curve up, a soft scoff followed by a breathy chuckle leaving them, “Okay... so you know some defense, hmm? Why didn’t you just fucking say that?”

“This was more fun,” I tease, shaking out my hands. “Did it hurt?”

“Like a bitch,” he praises, twisting his hips to alleviate some of the pain, “You’ve got boney ass elbows– christ .” The smirk I’m still wearing is falling as he suddenly hardens, the playfulness gone from his expression and eyes almost instantly. “Hit me. C'mon.”

I take a half step back hesitantly as he stalks towards me, “What–hit you? Like... really hit you?”

“Did I fuckin’ stutter?” Matty questions, an innocent tilt to his head. “Hit me–unless you’re too worried about ruining your–”

You don’t have to tell me twice.

His words were knocked from his mouth. Literally .

A sinister grin spreads across my face as I watch the crimson liquid gush from his mouth. Fuck that felt good. Matty never knows when to stop running his mouth, constantly spewing nonsense and infuriating everyone around him. His once smug expression is now one of shock and disbelief as he jerks his head, trying to snap out of whatever thoughts are racing through his mind.

“Is that all you got, princess?” With a forceful spit, he releases the bloody mess onto the pristine white mat beneath him. “Again.”

“Again?” I choke out, rushing to stand in front of him at the sight of the shit ton of blood he spat out, abandoning the gloves. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do it that hard. Fuck, oh hell... does it hurt? Of fucking course it hurts.”

Matty also abandons his gloves and then rubs at his cheek, chuckling a bit when his head comes up and his eyes meet mine. Void is the serene brown that’s normally glaring at me, replaced with blown pupils that look lethal. “Matty… I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.” He barks at me, suddenly standing tall and towering over me. Our movements are synced, him stepping forward, me back. And that continues until my back the ropes, ending any chance of distance I have to put between us.

The dark eyes glance down at my extended palms, the ones inches away from touching his abdomen, “What? Think I’m going to hit you?”

“I don’t know...” I trail off, my heart lurching against my rib cage as he steps further, my hands flat against his stomach now, “you look like you’re considering it.”

The lips I’ve been trying my best to avoid staring at lift, “This isn’t me angry, princess.” He hums, pressing forward so our chests are touching. “I’d be a hell of a lot less composed. I’m... surprised, impressed even. Didn’t think these arms had any hope.”

I fucking hate how my mouth parts and eyes close as his knuckle runs up the expanse of my arm. “I guess you don’t know me as well as you thought.” I manage to whisper, choking on my breath as the tips of his fingers brush the hair of my ponytail from my shoulder.

“Hmm?” He questions, the scruff of his jaw following the curve of my neck as he leans in, his whisper fanning over the heated skin, “Maybe I don’t. What else are you hiding, Y/n?”

“It wouldn’t be a secret then, would it?” I breathe out, my fingertips grazing his abs. I can feel the smirk as he glides his lips from the bottom of my jaw, only pausing when he reaches the corner of my mouth.

I angle my head up as he does, heavy breaths shared between the two of us. “I guess you’re right,” he whispers, his lips peppering onto my mouth teasingly with each syllable. “It’s more fun to find out this way anyways, yeah?”

“Yes.” God, yes. “Matty—”

“Hmm?” He questions, his hands finding this resting spot on either side of my head. “What is it? What do you want, baby ? Use your mouth, remember? Words.”

My eyes open as he fully encases me in, eyes blown and wild. Adrenaline. “Kiss me.”

That was all it took. The two simple words fell from my lips for Matty to let out a low huff of breath, his left hand pushing off the ropes to cup around my cheek. He angles my head up, holding my gaze as his thumb runs across the curve of my jaw.

All breath is expelled from my lungs, happily swallowed by Matty who is inching closer with each breath.

My name drips from his tongue like honey, smooth and thick with his accent. I don’t think I’ve ever liked my name as much as I have when it’s coming from him. “Say it again.”

“Kiss me.”

His hips twitch forward the moment the words leave my mouth, his lips crash onto mine. It's both a gentle and a demanding kiss, like he's trying to taste every inch of me and reestablish his dominance at the same time. One hand still cradles my cheek, and the other wraps around the back of my neck, holding me in place as we breathe each other in.

His taste is addictive.

My mind couldn’t keep up. The way he was pulling my hair, the beautiful soft moans leaving his lips, the way he was consuming every inch of me. I was going feral and the adrenaline coursing through my veins was fighting for dominance over my want to be closer to him.

To feel him.

Matty’s fingers tighten around my throat as I let out a prolonged moan, my own noise sending chills throughout my whole body. It was a battle of who could get who undressed quicker, our hands fumbling around blindly trying to free one another of the material separating us.

“I’m gonna fuck you.” He begs breathless as my lips attach to his neck and a whimper fights its way past my lips. Matty’s hands cup under my ass, lifting me into the air as I wrap my legs around his waist.

Both of our chests heaving, hardly able to breathe, I feel the cool floor of the boxing ring beneath my back as Matty pins me down with his body weight. His lips find mine again, consuming my every thought. I let out a hiss when his hand bites into my hip, only to be followed by a pleasured whine as Matty runs his thumb over the sensitive area as his lips leave mine once again.

Every inch of me is on fire.

“Be a good girl for me,” He whispers against my ear, “Can you fuckin' do that for me? For fuckin’ once?” I can’t help but tighten my grip on him, and without really thinking about it, my legs come around his waist, inviting him in, letting his hands explore the curves of my body.

My body responds instinctively as his lips begin to wander across my skin, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses in their wake. Every inch of me tingles with anticipation as he travels from my throat to my jaw, his touch sending shivers down my spine. Matty's kisses turn rough as he bites down on the sensitive skin of my neck, igniting a mixture of pleasure and pain that I can't resist.

“Fuck.” I groan as my back arches and his chest presses against mine, “we shouldn’t be doin’ this.”

There are a hundred reasons as to why we shouldn’t. The most obvious being that Matty is a dick and we hate each other. I know I shouldn’t be wanting him this way and let’s not forget this is crossing a line that I’m afraid we wouldn’t be able to come back from. Expect I’m not stopping, and he isn’t pushing me away either.

“You’re right.” Matty does, however, manage to say in no more than a whisper. “We shouldn’t. It doesn’t make sense, you and I.”

I can barely focus on what he’s saying considering how he’s rolling his hips into me. The bulge in his boxers is evident and a low growl escapes my lips as I buck my hips back towards him, needing more contact. “This is stupid, and you hate me-”

The second those words leave my mouth, Matty is hovering over me, both hands on either side of my head. My body is suddenly cold without him pressed against me. “What did you just say?” Those milky brown eyes are forced onto mine when he holds my jaw firmly, fire burning the skin where he’s holding me.

“It’s dangerous?” I question in between breaths, and Matty instantly shakes his head. My brows furrow, seemingly genuinely confused, until my eyes widen in the slightest and I can feel the fire spreading across my cheeks. “I didn’t mean... it’s just—look, you hate me and I hate you. We both know it. Jesus, everyone can see that.”

“Y/n.” Matty voices coldly and it has me almost flinching away from him. But I don’t pull out of his grasp though, just close my eyes, waiting for him to agree. “Believe me when I say that I don’t hate you. Not in the slightest. You just get under my skin and piss me off.” A devilish smirk pulls at his lips when I open my eyes, “Don’t try and pretend that you don’t do it on purpose either, my little minx.”

His eyes dart to my mouth when I run my tongue along my bottom lip. The pulse in my neck is beating roughly as his lips attach to me once more, and just like that I’m melting into his hands.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I moan out, my hand coming to the nape of his neck and pulling on his hair. “I just say what I’m thinking, and you can’t stand it.” Another moan, breathless. “That’s not my problem.”

The hand Matty had on my hip dances to the top of my thigh, and he lets it rest there for a moment before squeezing a bit roughly.

“I can make it your problem.” He rumbles against my collarbone. “Is that what you want, sweet girl? Want me to show you how pissed off you make me? Treat you like the fuckin’ brat that you are ?”

My legs tighten again, hips rolling against his with a desperate urgency. Every fiber of my being craves friction, any kind of sensation to alleviate the intense desire building inside me. I can feel the heat and hardness of him pressed against my cloth-covered, soaked core. I mutter a whiny, “Please.”

In the passing of a heart beat, Matty rips my underwear from my body—literally tears through the flimsy material. The sound of the ripping fabric fills the air, and my body flinches in anticipation as he pulls away from my neck. I'm left gasping for air, my heart thumping erratically against my rib cage.

Matty's eyes trail from my now exposed soppy cunt to my parted lips, his pupils blown as if he's seeing me for the first time.

“Need to see these fucking tits.” He groans out, roughly yanking the sports bra to my collarbones. My nipples pebble at the cool air of the room causing me to let out a whimper.

The moment Matty's rough hands cup my breasts, my eyes roll back into my head. He groans and licks his lips, and my hips jerk up as he pinches both my nipples and I can't help but moan loudly. “Oh fuck,” I whisper, feeling so turned on by the roughness.

“I’ve barely even touched you. Fuckin’ pathetic.” Matty huffs before swiftly smacking my breast with a hard swipe, my eyes fly open and I gasp, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Fuckin’ moaning and groaning, and I haven’t even put my cock in you yet,” He growls, leaning down to connect his lips to my nipple, his stubble scraping against my delicate skin, leaving me gasping.

“I could just keep going, play with your tits, suck on your nipples til they're so sore that tears fill those pretty eyes, and it would all be so easy. But that wouldn’t be fair to you, would it?” Matt’s chuckles against my skin. “I’d be teasing you, and you’d be begging for me to either stop or fuck you already.”

My gaze locks with his as he bites down on my nipple, causing a sharp pain that blends with pleasure. I groan loudly, feeling the pleasure and pain coalesce into a heady sensation that has my toes curling. “Matty...” I whimper his name like a prayer, arching my back, and pushing my chest further into his lips.

His tongue flicks over the sensitive nub, sending shockwaves of excitement throughout my entire body. The wet sounds of his mouth are making the already-charged atmosphere even more intense, the taste of him on my skin driving me wild.

“That's it,” he mumbles against my skin, his teeth grazing softly before his mouth suctions around my nipple, tugging gently. I let out a strangled cry, feeling the sting and the arousal simultaneously. My hands grab onto his hair roughly before falling to his neck and tugging him closer still. The sound of our harsh breaths fills the small space around us, punctuated by Matty's lips smacking against my breastbone as he moves lower.

He growls against me, clearly enjoying the power he holds at this moment. “You're so fuckin’ responsive,” he murmurs, his rough hands skating down my stomach and between my legs.

“Matty, please!” I plead out, my hands fisting against the cool mat.

“But I love hearing you beg for me like the needy little whore you are.” His fingers find my soppy folds, slowly lapping them around me at a tortuous speed. My head falls against the mat, my lewd moans echo around us. He teasingly circles his middle finger around my opening and I can’t help but rotate my hips against it.

His finger dips inside me like he’s searching for something and I cry out again at the touch. Matty plunges two fingers deep inside me, stretching me further than I ever thought possible with one swift thrust. “Oh,” he drags out hoarsely against my pulse point, his hips rolling against my thigh. “So fuckin’ tight. I can see why you’re a raging bitch, no one has properly fucked you, have they?” Matty teases, curling his fingers up, hitting the spongy spot hidden inside me.

“Please,” I beg again, needing him to stop teasing and just fuck me already. He groans once more, a mix of pleasure and roughness that has me on edge even more. Matty's teeth graze my neck, making me shiver as I feel his fingers slide deeper into me, stretching me to accommodate him more. The slick heat of his fingers fills me up, and I arch into him, begging him to continue.

He growls lowly against my skin, knowing exactly what he's doing to me. He presses in deeper, finding my G-spot once more as he thrusts his fingers in and out. “Fuck,” I moan, unable to control the word that slips past my lips. “Don't stop.”

His thumb finds my clit and starts circling it, sending shockwaves of pleasure through my entire body. I buck my hips towards him, needing more friction but he suddenly withdraws his fingers from my pussy with a wet pop.

I whimper in protest, my eyes fluttering open to find him still smirking at me, but this time sitting up on his knees, pulling his boxers down. Matty’s cock loudly smacks against his lower stomach and the red tip glistening with precum has my mouth watering.

I knew I shouldn't have said it, but the sight of him there, fully hard and ready for me, was just too much temptation. With a voice that was barely audible, I whispered, “Please... please just fuck me.”

“Not yet, babes,” he warns, just barely holding himself back as he lifts off his knees to completely rid himself of the boxers. “Wanna feel that mouth on my cock.”

And just like that Matty's thick, pale muscular thighs are straddling my head. “You’re gonna be a good little slut and open your fuckin’ mouth.” He demands, reaching back down to wrap my ponytail around his fist, pulling my head forward.

He shoves his cock into my mouth roughly. My fingernails latch onto his bare thighs as I gag around him, Matty’s head falling back in pleasure at the sound.

“Fuck yeah... that’s it...” He moans out as my cheeks hollow around him, sucking around his cock like a greedy slut. Which I am, especially with the way he looks down at me.

His hair started to curl from the sweat earlier but now it’s matted and tousled sticking to his forehead in sticky tendrils, his lids are heavy and half closed and to top it off his lips are cherry red and saliva-coated. “You wanna choke on this cock, princess?”

Humming in response, the vibration against his cock sends a visible chill down his spine. “God fuckin’ damnit,” Matty groans, tightening my hair around his fist. “You deserve to be fucked until you can’t walk, don’t you baby?”

My moan of agreement is cut off as he shoves his cock back into my mouth roughly, my throat constricting around him as I gag. Matty relentlessly thrust into my mouth, moaning as the head of his dick slides down my throat. My fingers tighten around his thighs, looking up at Matty through my lashes as a few tears roll down my cheeks.

“You’re taking me so well, baby.” Matty praises, slowing his hips to wipe the tears off of my face. I can’t stop but smile with his cock still in my mouth before using my grasp on his thighs to guide Matty’s cock back down my throat. “So fuckin’ good,” He moans as my nose meets his pelvis, gagging around him once more.

“Yeah, fuckin' gag on my cock you stupid little slut." Matty grunts as he slams his cock back into my throat. Tears now streaming down my face as I struggle to breathe around him.

Matty’s heavy thighs press against my head and the grip in my hair holds me to him like his personal plaything.

“Oh yeah, that's good girl.” Matty's gruff voice fills the air, thrusting deep into the back of my throat making me gag and cough, but that just makes Matty tighten his grip on my hair.

He's using my mouth, treating it like a cunt. My throat and mouth are being used to get him off. This thought alone makes my cunt clench around nothing. I can feel my pussy start to drip down on the mat and my clit is throbbing painfully just begging to be touched again. My hand slid between his parted thighs, down my trembling stomach, and finally to my drenched core in a desperate attempt to alleviate some of the pain. I let out a moan as I touched the swollen bundle of nerves.

“Did I fuckin’ say you could touch your pathetic little pussy?” Matty snarls from above as he pulls away abruptly and slaps my cheek. The blow stings and leaves my cheek reddened. A whimper falls from my lips at his words.

“Don't think I don't notice what you're doing.” His growl rumbles, resonating in the chilled air. His fingers clench, gathering a fistful of my hair, yanking my head, forcing me to meet his gaze.

“You do not get to touch, Understand me?” Matty hisses. Nodding dumbly, tears still streaming down my face. “That's my good girl.” His fist is still wrapped in my hair, and his other hand slowly travels down my torso, pinching my nipples before teasingly circling my clit with two fingers. My entire body shudders from the sensation.

“Do you want this?” He whispers, his breath hot and close to my ear.

“Please,” I murmur before moaning loudly as Matty's finger slips inside my dripping hole roughly. “Yes!” His finger starts thrusting hard and fast. Matty laughs at my answer as he withdraws slightly, only long enough for me to suck in a lungful of air, then he plunges back in, hitting the spot where I hopelessly crave.

“Desperate whore.” Matty taunts as he continues pumping his finger in and out, over and over again. “So fuckin’ needy. Like your fuckin’ pussy was made for me alone. God, you are so wet. Fuck, so pretty.” He praises.

Not even a second later, Matty is hovering over me again, slowly pumping his fingers and his thumb circles my clit. “Should I give you what you want?” He purrs as he leans in, breathing deeply in the shell of my ear, his warm breath fanning the skin. “Hmm, give you my cock?”

My eyes shoot open, wide and curious, as I stare up at him. The weight of his cock presses firmly against my thigh, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. My mind is completely transfixed on him—his chiseled jawline, his piercing gaze, the way his tousled hair falls across his forehead. In this moment, I cannot form a single coherent thought in my head.

“Yeah, you look like you need it.” Matty growls before sinking back into my cunt. A soft whimper escapes, “Such a slut,” he whispers into my ear, moving between my parted thighs. His free hand grips one side of my hips as he starts to violently shoves his cock into me, “Such a fuckin’ whore.”

There's no way I can hide my body's response to his words. Every word he says makes my heart race, my stomach flutter, and my clit throb even more. I'm helpless under him, taking everything he gives me. My body betraying me, almost as if it's addicted to the pleasure I find in this misery. His cock filling me up, stretching me open so perfectly.

Matty continues to thrust into me, his fingertips digging into my hips hard enough to leave bruises that will linger for weeks but also holding on as if he never wants to let go of this possession he has over me in this moment.

Then both of his hands are on my chest, holding my breasts as they jiggle with each rough movement. He growls and grunts with each powerful thrust, pumping himself deep inside of me until my walls begin to clench around him.

“Are you fuckin’ gonna cum already?” Matty moves his lips down to the side of my neck. “You let me treat you like shit for years and here you are about to cum around my cock.”

I shudder, feeling my orgasm build up, my walls clamping down on his cock, my pussy greedily drinking him deep. “Mmnnngh,” I moan, nodding frantically. My eyes roll back in bliss as he thrusts harder and faster, my hips bucking up to meet him. The burn in my chest as he paws at my breasts sends a wave of pleasure through me, “I’m gonna cum, Matt—fuck!” I cry out, my nails gripping his forearm as he presses his mouth harder against the curve of my neck.

“Tell me how good it feels, Y/n.” Matty orders, my legs trembling around his waist. “Wanna see you fall apart for me.”

“Matty— fuck ! I can’t, I’m cumming,” I moan, my body falling limp against the floor. He released my neck, his hands gripping onto my hips that were for sure going to marks left from how hard Matty was digging his fingers into my skin but the moans of pleasure I gave him seemed to only egged him on.

“Who knew you'd be such a perfect fuck, princess?” Matty grunts, his voice hoarse as he thrusts harder, deeper. “I knew you'd be good, but fuck, you're killing me.”

He slams into me one more time, and I let out a cry, my body trembling as a wave of pleasure washes over me. Matty's eyes hold a mix of lust and admiration as I ride my orgasm. His thumb rubs against my clit, and another wave crashes over me, leaving me breathless and weak. “You better remember, princess” Matty growls, his voice ragged. “I'm the reason you just cummed so hard.”

I wanna roll my eyes at his stupid statement but this is beyond anything I've ever experienced before, but even with a gun to my head would I ever admit it.

“Shit. Oh god, ” Matty moans, his hips bucking into me at an uneven pace now. He lowers over top of me, lips pressed in between my shoulder blades as Matty empties his cock into my pussy and fills me to the brim with his sticky, hot cum.

“Jesus... goddamn.” Matty mutters, collapsing entirely on top of me. Neither of us moves or says anything, the only sound being our labored breaths and thumping heartbeats. Matty's cock, now soft, still buried deep inside me, his hot cum seeping out between my legs and dripping down onto the mat.

The fog starts to finally clear from my brain and I realize what just happened. My body is slick with sweat and my chest heaves with each ragged breath. I can't believe I just let him do that to me.

Fucking hell, if the guys and Charli find out about this, I'll never live it down. I wonder if it’s possible to wipe away the trace of his cum from my cunt and keep this a secret for the rest of my life.

Take this shit to my grave if I have to.

Pushing up on his shoulders, “Get out of me.” Matty's breath hitches as he slowly lifts himself from me, his heavy body disappearing from atop me. He rolls off to the side, still panting heavily. His eyes dart around the room as if trying to make sense of what just happened.

"What the fuck was that?" He asks, raking his fingers through his hair and angling his head towards me. And of course, that stupid fucking smug ass smirk is on his lips.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing happened.”

"Nothing happened?" Matty scoffs, "Then why is my cum leaking out of you, huh?” He smirks, leaning in closer as if trying to read my thoughts.

I glare at him, my hand pushing his sweaty face from me. “Can’t believe I called out of work for this and you didn’t even train me.”

“Train you?” Matty chuckles, reaching out to grab hold of my hips, pulling me close again. "Are you kidding me, princess? I just gave you the best orgasm of your fucking life and you wanna bitch about training?” He reaches down and flicks his finger against my clit, making me gasp and arch my back. “So, you're telling me that you've never felt this good before? Never had an orgasm like that?”

I forcefully push away his hand, my expression twisted into a scowl. “Whatever, Matty. M’not fucking you again.”

He smirks, his grip still firm on my hips. “Oh, but you will,” he declares confidently, his intense gaze locked onto mine. “And next time, I'll make sure to properly train you.”

“I highly doubt it.”

“Care to bet on that?” His words are barely a whisper as he leans in for a kiss, but I quickly dodge his lips. In response, his hand swiftly wraps around my throat, tightening its hold as he presses closer.

“We'll see, princess,” he growls, his warm breath tickling my ear. “We will see.”

“I fucking hate you.” I blurt out angrily, meeting his challenging gaze.

[ghosting-fox]

okay so Sun Help Wanted 2 rambles below, so BEWARE SPOLERS!!!

WOAAAAAAAAAWOOOAAAAAWOOOOOOOOOO

okay now that i have that out of my system, let's start with the rambling!!!

obviously we all now know (and love) how sassy and petty Sun actually is around adults. but i've seen sooo many people portraying Sun as just An Asshole and just A Bully and so few have pointed out that actually no!!!! he's a DIVA!!! he's a DRAMA queen!!!! my dudes, he is a former THEATER ACTOR!!!!!! and so so many things, like his mannersim, the way he speaks ("Finally, art that makes you THINK!" , "The Daycare is no place for AMATEURS" , "Be creative on YOUR OWN TIME, WE ARE MAKING ART"), even his entrance (he literally CARTWHEELS into the scene, what a show-off) point to his theatrical origins and how much of a perfectionist he is. He's obviously frustrated whenever you're doing something wrong, throwing offhanded, petty comments at you because he is used to perfection!! for i don't know how long during his theater days he was playing the main character in every play, day after day after day, he's used to things going EXACTLY to plan, and obviously he has expectations from you since you are an adult. (and besides, you gotta give it to him: it must be frustrating and stressful going from working as an actor and being in the spotlight all the time and everything going according to plan to working as a daycare attendant with crying kids who always do mistakes and make a mess and don't draw inside the lines)

and i'm pretty sure that anyone who's more intensly part of any art field (doesn't matter if it's drawing, theater, sculpture, architecture, whatever) has met a few people and crits who behaved and had the same attitude (however less unhinged, ofc) like Sun: not downright bullying you, but being just overall petty and perfectionists.

i just feel that some people downplay Sun's personality by portraying him as just a simple Asshole, when actually the Help Wanted 2 minigame does an EXCELLENT job hinting to his theatrical origins and his really art-passionate, perfectionist, sassy personality

"but he's shredding the player's work!! he IS just a bully!!" my dude, you are playing as an adult who's doing a tutorial/maintenace test and is listed with some tasks. he's obviously not going to keep the "paint-by-numbers" drawing a staff member did for a maintenance test. and he even states that all the artworks done in the Pizzaplex are property of Fazbear Entertainment; so who knows, maybe there is a rule that everything done during maintenance test should be immediately destroyed. (and still, he can also just downright be petty and sassy and snappy towards adults) still a funny gig, lol

anyways i fucking love how much character Sun displays and i fucking love how much of a drama queen and diva he is, can't wait to see the rest of the game!!!

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Ooooooo

I have come, with something!

So, imagine reader is a young adult instead of the teen. They already gone through the system, was never adopted, so they have a lot of resentment to parents and such. And they actually work in the school as an assistant teacher. The team thing happens and when reader realizes they were being used, they quit, and after, cut out anything showing they’re a mutant. Maybe filling the claws way down to look like normal nails, or if it’s like wolverine’s, they use a rock to break it.

How would everyone react to seeing reader after that, either fresh from their self mutilation, or some days after?

Thanks for reading my rant!

🌂

Oooooo... Okay, okay, that's interesting! I still plan to have Reader as a teen in the main au, but Reader as a young adult? Not bad, if I say so. I'm going to count this as an au of the Smilodon AU, because I have an idea for how Reader finding all of this out goes, but... I really like this ask. So good job! Let's do it-

If the others, the X-Men and Brotherhood, saw Reader like that... I think they'd feel nauseous. Light-headed. Sick. Because their... whatever Reader is to them, is missing parts of their mutation, the parts that were part of them. Their claws... they're filed down, hardly there anymore.. Their fangs... not near as long or sharp as they used to be. And the small bits of fur or fluff that used to dot their arms and legs... they're gone, leaving the skin underneath. This isn't what they wanted. They wanted Reader as their, well... okay, they had used Reader. They didn't want to, in the end, and the teens wanted to stop it, but- They just couldn't. They tried. The adults... they feel remorse. A bit scared. Because now they know Reader can and will harm themself (and likely had before). When Xavier looks deeper into Reader's thoughts, he sees their inner-self, and it isn't a monster or a beast or an evil person... it's a scared, lonely, hurt child, who wants love, but has been denied it so long that they don't trust anyone. And after what all they've done... Reader doesn't even trust them anymore...

Xavier, Scott, and Jean would try to speak rationally with Reader (their version of rational). It goes out the window real quick when Reader's thoughts turn darker, sadder, spiraling. Scott wants to know why Reader did what they did, because he's sorry, and wants them to know they care. He wants them to see it their way. But he mostly wants to make things better between them. Jean wants to help Reader, and comfort them, but now there's a literal mental wall between them, full of bitterness. She wants to reach them,, to stop them from doing this to themself... Xavier wants to convince Reader they meant no harm, and to give them and the X-Men a proper chance to make it up to them. He knows that Reader will be hard to convince. But they have to hold out hope. If worse came to worse... they can try and move Reader in with them, albeit unwillingly. It might be the only way to keep an eye on them and their health...

Kurt, Kitty, Ororo, and Beast regret getting Reader's hopes up, only for the truth to come out about why they started trying to befriend them in the first place. Seeing Reader remove parts of their mutation, leaving them almost defenseless... Kurt feels scared. He has a visible mutation as well, and while he hid his with the holo watch, Reader didn't have something like that. And they got rid of parts of themself! It's... it's so hard to look at... Kitty wants to hug Reader, wants forgiveness. She's so sorry about what happened, she wants them to know that! But... why would Reader hurt themself? Are they hiding any other wounds? What If they hurt themself again?... Storm is doing her best to stay calm and motherly, which sadly doesn't get her very far. She knows they've hurt Reader, and it doesn't feel good, for Reader or for them. But they need to own up to it. The best they can do is apologize, and hope Reader forgives them, or at least doesn't hurt themself further. Perhaps getting Hank to talk with them would be better... Hank would try and help them, would try to talk with Reader. He wants to provide therapy, or at least get them to have a medical exam. He needs to know how bad they hurt themself. But they're not budging. He doesn't want Charles to force Reader. No. But if they want to help them, they need them under their care. And sadly, Reader does not want to be under their care or protection after everything...

Rogue, Evan, and Logan feel guilty. They know they didn't trust Reader at first. That they didn't want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But seeing how bad it's hurt them, that they'd rather hurt themself than them... It's a tough pill to swallow. Reader already had trust issues. They already didn't have a high opinion of themself. And they just made those a whole lot worse. Rogue is truly sorry, wanting to have Reader stay with them so they don't hurt themself or disappear. She's scared that if they look away from them, they'll be gone. That Reader will leave, or worse, be dead. Evan wants to apologize, but he also wants Reader to give them a second chance. Even his aunt is in on it, and maybe Reader would believe two of them over just one? He really wants them to not give up on them... Logan knows he hasn't handled knowing Reader very well. He knew about some of their past, and wrote them off as a bad influence. And they weren't. They're the cub of his "brother" (he doesn't know if that fuzzy maniac is his brother or not), but they've never even met the guy, let alone know who he was. It wasn't fair of him to get mad with them, to treat them as a potential threat. Seeing them harm themself though... It makes him realize that they had every chance to go after all of them, but instead they turned on themself. And for that... he realizes he shouldn't have been been hard. So cold.

The Brotherhood teens want to throw up. Their favorite assistant teacher, the one who tended to see the best in them, is missing parts of themself, or has cut them down. And it scares the cr*p out of them. This is their favorite teacher! Their go-to adult in school when things go wrong or people won't leave them alone! And they've. Hurt. Themself. They didn't want to use them! They swear! But... they're not sure this is an easy fix. This isn't as simple as saying sorry. This had consequences, and they've (mostly) learned that one has to own up to them, no matter what they be. Lance doesn't want to imagine Reader leaving them. They're the one adult he trusts. And now they're scared, or at least wary, of all of them. The X-Teens are in the same boat, so while he hates to say it, he might have to work with them to get Reader to stay, and hopefully heal and regrow their claws and fangs and fuzz. Todd feels sick. He didn't realize they could do that. They could actually remove parts of their mutation? Just like that? Thinking about it gives him shivers. Who would give their powers up? Who'd willingly hurt themself? He understands why they'd do it, he just wishes they hadn't. Fred wants to hug Reader and cry. His favorite adult (who's only a few years older than all of them) just hurt themself. And is upset with them. And is sad. He doesn't want them to be upset! Or hurt! He's trying to apologize, and is on the same boat as Lance to get the X-Teens help in apologizing, if it means Reader might forgive them. Pietro knows what they did. He knows it was wrong. Is he sorry?... Yes. But he still wants Reader with them. Seeing them they way they are... he still thinks they should be with them, even more now. They need help. His dad can get help, okay? H*ck, if they have to, they can pull Sabretooth in, okay?! He just... he doesn't want Reader to hurt themself even more. They're nice, and pay attention to him and his sister, good attention. How can they let them hurt? Wanda is asking Reader why they did it. She wants to know Reader's perspective on this, on why they did it, how they feel about them all. She doesn't want to hurt them, and she won't, but Reader needs help. She will not have her favorite adult die on her or hurt themself, so they'd better hurry up and go to her father or Xavier and get them involved, otherwise, they're going to have a problem. Mystique feels for Reader. Being distrusted by everyone. Having mutations that single them out. It hurts. It hurts her even more knowing she has hurt Reader with her actions. But this proves to her Reader needs a team. A group. She's grateful Reader hasn't taken their anger or hurt out on them, like their father might have. She knows they deserve it. But... she isn't sure if they should turn to... the X-Men... blegh... or to Magneto... who she's mad with... And unfortunately, those are her two options. The joys of being an adult, being responsible... Hopefully they can reach Reader before it could be too late...

[teaboot]

Did you ever read or have your name read aloud in class as part of a story/poem/math problem? If so how did you feel about it?

I can vividly remember reading ahead and spotting my name and feeling my stomach drop like it does on a roller coaster but bad. I hated it so much, everyone looking at you and grinning when the name was read and like no I have no affiliation with this person or their actions do not look upon me and judge.

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer within a certain amount of time or at all.*

different for different classes, honestly.

Art: Loved being called up in art, it was my best subject, I graduated early and volunteered to do grade 11 art again as a TA. Art was the best. No issues.

Math: Eh. I'm good at it, but I was REALLY BAD at it in school, mostly due to the way it was taught. Didn't really care, though, just sort of an "Ah fuck, better get this wrong fast so I can sit down again" deal.

English: LOVED the class, LOVED books, HATED reading aloud or reading my own work. One teacher I had would read whatever assignments she thought were done best, so I wrote garbage half the year on purpose. Didn't step it up until she told me I was failing and would have to retake the class, and then tested me on my own work cause the quality was suddenly better and she thought I was plagiarizing it from somewhere.

THEN I had a fucking English teacher who thought his ass was in Good Will Hunting or some shit. Like I was his goddamn charity project. Dude kept telling me I had "a really special talent". Every single class we'd have to bring our own short story and every single class he'd ask me if I wanted to read mine out loud and EVERY TIME I'd say no. Hearing people read theirs would give me anxiety attacks so fuckin bad. One day he didn't even ask, just took my work off my desk and started reading. I literally just stood up and booked it. Skipped p much the whole day sitting outside. "Do you wanna talk sbout your feelings" type asshole. Dickhead

I enjoy all these subjects MUCH more as an adult

Edit: OOOOOH, you mean like having my name incorporated into a textbook? Nah, never happened to me, my name's too weird lol

[dk-ghostmachines]

I gotta talk about FourDogs (again)

It's barely about her, though. I think "he's so lucky his dad was brutally murdered" and "people with trauma need a second handicap because they're too motivated" are such absolute-the-fuck-ly bonkers takes, they're not even worth the time it took me to get mad about them, which was immediately. This time around, I have way more to say about audience reception. I'll try to keep it civil.

It feels like a lot of us are responding from increasingly personal places because these are characters with which a lot of us identify, or we see traits in them that remind us of people from our real lives. And hey! Another performance and storytelling slay on the part of one Brennan Lee Mulligan. Who else can invent 50+ characters every year and play them to the point where any one of them can evoke both an "omg that's literally me!" and an "omg that's literally Dani, the girl that bullied me all of freshmen year until I punched out her front tooth in the student parking lot and got in-school suspension for a month!". And whether Kipperlily reminds you of Dani, or reflects your own anxieties about potential, ability, and trauma, an important thing to remember is this: she is not real!

Brennan made her up! Brennan made her up to tell a story, and when he made her up, he made her annoying, petty, antagonistic, and he gave her not just opposing goals to the the protagonists we know and love, but the explicit goal of ruining The Bad Kids' lives, specifically.

Now, I'm not saying she's fictional to be a dick, or dismiss any deeper readings on her or any of the Rat Grinders. I'm bringing it up because the way I'm seeing people talk to each other about these characters is starting to get a little wild and it's in danger of waking up The Olde Gods™ (i.e. the special brand of Tumblr Self-Righteousness that lives inside us all).

It's important to remember Kipperlilly is a character in a fictive work so that different interpretations of her don't get treated as stone law. Each reading of her is personal and valid, but none are gospel. The "Kipperlilly is but a victim" take is not the only correct one, nor is radical empathy for her as a character the only correct reaction. Also, even if I consider her sympathetic that is not incompatible with an opinion like "Kipperlilly needs to get roundhouse'd in the head by a lesbian in a tracksuit and/or a wizard in a jean jacket, posthaste". Sure, you can say that anyone who doesn't feel a deep and eclipsing empathy for Kipperlilly above all other emotions is immature at best and sociopathic at worst, but then I can just say anyone who demands solely empathy for Kipperlilly and excuses her literal crimes and bass-ackwards world view because she's insecure and has anger issues, is probably also someone who has a history of weaponizing whatever minority status they may or may not occupy to talk over, silence, or harass people of color.

They're both just opinions. And also, like. Y'know. A bit much.

To engage in the long and rich tradition of measuring character trajectories against those in the Avatar: The Last Airbender cartoon, let's compare Kipperlilly to Azula. Azula had an incredibly sympathetic backstory and untreated mental health issues. Azula was also a danger to herself and others, as well as profoundly manipulative and abusive (although, it was a children's show so Azula never killed anybody for whatever that's worth). Do I wish that fourteen-year-old girl had an Iroh-type in her life? Literally one adult who loved her genuinely and advocated for her best interests? Of course I do. I saw the Ember Island episode, I watched that one video essay! Does that mean it was any less satisfying to watch Zuko and Katara kick her absolute ass? No! And it was non-lethal anyway, children's show, duh.

That brings me to my other thing; Kipperlilly is a character in a fictive work that is not finished. And I know that point will age poorly, but I'm thinking it won't be the only one (hey-o). Remember the people that were calling The Bad Kids bullies? And then we learned that Kipperlilly hated Riz because his fucking dad fucking died?? And that was a full academic year before getting reanimated by a rage god?? I'll do a tame one; remember when Gilear wasn't cursed?? He was "just a guy"?? The show is serialized, gang, the world is still building! Clerickiller is not done yet, y'all need to let her cook! I'm sure we'll tune in next week to see her graduate from "unhinged" to "unaffiliated with the door frame or any frame-like structure". Reprimanding people on Tumblr will not change the trajectory of this character who, by the way, has not expressed remorse or any desire for a path other than violence. You look me in my black face after your blorbo slits a kid's throat and say "help her"?? Kipperlilly doesn't want get better right now, she wants one thing and that's for Kristen Applebees to go fuck herself and die!! You were there, you heard it!! When the fictional behavior changes, as it often does in stories, so will my opinion. There is no fore-forgiveness. Without an actual redemption arc I will continue to see the villain as a villain.

Speaking of, I think what some people have an issue with is the level of hate Kipperlilly's getting and how aggressive it is. But like.... isn't that allowed?? Because of all the stuff I said but also because like, mama said that it was okay! And by "mama" I mean Siobhan Thompson who said Kipperlilly belongs under the jail. Sure, in the real world, adults don't tell kids they belong in the ground that's crazy fucked up, but all these kids are played by adults and Emily as Fig joked that she was gonna smite the sixteen-year-old girl played by the thirty-something man. You're telling me the antagonist antagonizes the protagonists, and the protagonists go "boo, hiss" and then I, the audience, go "boo, hiss as well" but I'm wrong? I'm wrong, somehow, cool checks out.

"They're XP Levelling*punches a locker*!!"

"That girl is worse than Kalvaxus."

"Littledoggy Girlcollar"

Am I not engaging with the narrative on it's own terms if I say "i'd tell Clerickiller to die mad, but she clearly already did, Jojo Siwa head-ass, in reference to that fuck-ass ponytail and your toxic yuri" Do I need to draw a little caitmay-style OC to say it for me, would that be better?

God-forbid, we have fun? Must we discourse, always? FourDogs is tragic, FourDogs is compelling, FourDogs is Dani from 9th grade. She is Azula from Avatar and Clare from Fleabag and Brennan Lee Mulligan from my dreams and that is something that can be so personal. But no one else has to participate in your parasocial relationship. What's crazy is, I actually like Kipperlilly! As a character. I mean, the "trauma is privilege" obviously hit a nerve with me because of real life stuff, but the image of her over the rogue teacher's grave?? With a backhoe and a "gotcha, bitch" expression??? Come on, that is fresh-off-the-vine Cunt™. Even more so than I imagined that moment to be when we first heard about it. Her ending up in a Ragh or Aelwyn place would be way more satisfying than a Goldenrod or Penelope Everpetal place, BUT IT WILL ALSO be satisfying to see whatever Kipperlilly's version of the locked-in-a-chokehold-and-being-gaslit-into-thinking-you-shit-the-coach's-pants-scene is. In addition to the non-lethal ass-kicking that proceeds it.

Y'all can chuck the insinuation that something so clearly subjective is actually objective and has moral implications that make me bad, directly in the garbage. What is this, religion, hey-o.

[horce-divorce]

something something about the power imbalance inherent to being an unhoused person, how similar it is to the dependency that abusers intentionally foster in their relationships to keep victims from leaving. but if you're homeless and someone is putting you up, especially if it's for free/some kind of exchange other than rent, you're basically expected to put up with whatever indignity they can imagine for you and still just be grateful. And if you set a boundary or speak up for yourself in any kind of way, that's Taking Advantage of this poor kind person who's doing SO much for you already, how could you?

sorry its 2am and I'm trying to write a better draft about this for later too but its like. being homeless is a huge, huge vulnerability. ppl people will look to exploit that, intentionally or not. and doubly so if you're homeless because you're disabled.

also something the ableism involved... about how I know so many fellow disabled people who have struggled with homelessness, and we all have similar stories about people we trusted, friends or loved ones who seemed all too happy to help and take us in, and how we repeatedly impressed upon them the nature of our health and the situation, and they swore up and down that they understood and that we were on the same page about boundaries and expectations... only to have them blow up and kick us out at the absolute first sign of conflict or miscommunication, or because we didn't get jobs fast enough, or because we didn't contribute financially even after being told that wasn't expected, and so on.

and how, I know so many housed people who have never been through this, who all have very similar stories about how they tried to help a friend in need once, and they were SO lazy and horrible and took SO long to get their shit together that they clearly were just a freeloader taking advantage who should've never been trusted, just like all homeless people, and that's why we give them socks and canned beans instead of money.

I was never allowed to complain about ableist expectations or abled people ignoring my boundaries in my parents' home. Especially not after I became a disabled adult who still needed help with housing. And that's been true of most of the couch-hopping I've done since then, too.

Currently we have a fairly nice situation... we live with a trusted and pleasant friend. It's a whole house, not an apartment. Not even in the city. We have our own entire room. We don't have to pay rent or anything. It's temporary even aside from our discomfort, it's just been a nice place to land for the cold months.

However. Friends parents are not so chill. Their dad is the most disgusting man alive and has repeatedly gotten us sick bc he's always got something, bleeds all over and never cleans it up, never washes his hands, leaves his dentures on countertops and tables with food still stuck on them, coughs all over our stuff and never masks, is actively making the mouse infestation worse with all the food he leaves out, and puts our health at risk in SO many ways.

he used to work in Healthcare btw. His wife still does. They know we're here bc we're homeless; they know we're both disabled and immunocompromised; neither of them will wear a mask. Both of them are constantly coughing everywhere and not even covering their mouths. We've tried to politely bring this to their attention multiple times and nothing changes. They just ignore us.

We could literally die from this. We could get lifelong health complications even worse than what we have now. Bel lost his sense of taste today and now we're terrified that it's gonna be long covid or something else that sucks what little joy is left from our daily lives.

You lose everything, and then you're supposed to just say nothing and accept your lot, no matter how much danger you're in, because beggars can't be choosers. If you're disabled and poor you'd better just be fine with people abusing you and putting your health and safety at risk indefinitely, because you're lucky they're even helping you at all instead of JUST abusing you.

You dont get to have a home. You dont get to collect things, or keep sentimental things, or have a whole, adequate wardrobe. You get what you can carry with you and what won't get stolen or destroyed by others, or by the nature of moving so much. You dont get to have safety and stability and roots and community. You dont get the dignity of boundaries or your own space. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And be happy and say "thank you" if people are merely ignoring you instead of actively silencing you. And if the people "helping" you actually give you the thing that kills you, at least you didn't die of exposure, I guess? Or something?

Its just. Every single thing you do as both a homeless & disabled person reminds you how utterly worthless you are to the """normal""" people around you. Every day. It's so demoralizing.

[iqmmir]

THIS IS A YUNO POST ABOUT HOW YUNO IS LITERALLY JUST SOME GIRL!!!!! TRUST ME GUYS!!!!!

also thank you tsumi @74n5n for reading this for me i love talking about you with the milgram sillies forwve

Have you ever spoken to spoken who is clearly in a bad situation but they refuse to accept it?

I'm going to give an example of my mother, because it's easier to explain with an example.

My mother has an elder brother who has polio. My grandmother was very protective of him because of that and also due to the way they (my grandmother and her friends, people of that generation) were raised, there was a certain way she treated her children differently.

My grandmother expected everyone in the world to be against my uncle because of his disability. So she was very protective of him. Simultaneously, there are certain things I remember her saying to me that I'm pretty sure she said to my mother also. 'Once you're older, your brother will take care of his family, so you have to take care of your parents' 'Who is the mother supposed to rely on, if not the daughter?' 'You're the girl, you're more mature than your brother, so understand this'

Things like this are very common here. I personally do not believe this, but I'm talking about my mother here. She (and my grandmother) automatically believed that the '(Elder) Son' is someone who the 'Parent' and, if applicable, '(Younger, usually girl) Sibling' must help and take care of so they can become their 'own person' with their 'own family'. It's a certain concept. I'm just telling this to explain something else trust me guys okay.

My mother was treated horribly. I can see that, my brother can see that, my father can see that. My mother herself however lives in denial. My grandmother, to raise her son, treated her daughter like an adult when she was a child. Expecting her to be the 'mature' one. 'You're the daughter, you'll be stuck taking care of kids, other girls deal with this too, so you should get used to it, this is the norm.'

Being the 'mature' one is a matter of pride for her. Being the one understanding others, devoting herself to others, denying yourself of what makes you happy, that makes her proud.

But, see, this is normal. This is how everyone here lives. I'm not saying it's right.

A wife, a mother, a sister. Wake up before everyone else, clean the house, make breakfast for your children, send them to school, do the housework, make breakfast for your husband, go to your own job, come back, make lunch, clean the house, take care of your children. It's too much work. But it's the regular for most women her age.

It's normal. So whenever I or my brother point out how 'being only for others' is really disturbing and stuff, my mother's reply is usually along the lines of 'Everyone lives like this.' This is normal, see.

Now, I know nothing about japan and its system. But the way Yuno behaves reminds me of my mother, and other girls Yuno's age that I have met. Let me elaborate.

Yuno detests the idea of being a victim. She believes a victim to be someone weak, not someone like her. Someone without any choice, not someone like her. Someone who is hurt, not someone like her. Someone who needs to be helped, not someone like her. She is normal. She is not a victim.

Yuno is the eldest daughter of a house with no father. Whatever she's doing, it's all expected of her. For her, this is normal. Taking care of her younger siblings, it's normal. Minimising her own expenses so much that the most expensive thing she ever bought was a teddy bear, it's normal.

The way she is behaving, it's all expected of her. She's the girl, she must be more mature. She's the sister, she must take care of her siblings. She is mature, she does not need help or anything of the sort. She is independent. She is not a victim.

Do you know why most people deny having depression or anything? It's because of how everyone views them. A victim of abuse, a victim of neglect, treating them with pity, not as a person. They've probably done that themselves. Seeing the 'victims' as someone helpless and not capable of taking care of themselves. Someone that needs someone else.

The system, society, capitalism, whatever you want to call it, encourages this mindset. Treating victims as someone with no autonomy, viewing it as a 'bad' thing will stop people from looking for help. If everyone is similar, it will be normal. Being a 'victim' is a very.. isolating thing. People begin treating them as 'concepts of victims'. Constantly treating them with pity, looking down on them. No one will want that right? Being treated like a 'victim' is equivalent to being treated like an idiot. For a better example, being treated like a toddler.

I'm going to talk about Muu here, to explain my thoughts a little more. The moment 'inmf' dropped, I wasn't here, I wasn't part of the fandom, but from the posts and things I have seen, Muu became someone.. 'manipulative'. Everything she did in Trial 1, she was only doing it for pity. Now she has too much ego. The idea of a victim, she isn't fitting there anymore. She has done something wrong. She is in the wrong too. But a 'victim' can't be in the wrong. It's either a victim or a bitch, you can't be both. A 'victim' can't be held responsible for their actions. She was bullied, it was wrong. It was wrong of her to bully others too (I have more complicated thoughts about this, but this isn't a muu post). But for some reason, the fandom.. can't accept it properly.

'She regrets killing Rei' she views herself as a monster because she doesn't regret killing Rei. 'Shes manipulative' She was behaving like any other teenage girl who has been kidnapped from her house and being told that she's a murderer. For some reason, Muu simultaneously being a victim and being a bitch is very difficult for people to comprehend.

Being a victim of domestic abuse does not give you the right to abuse your children, right? But when the idea that Amane's mother is also a victim was brought up, everyone was so uncomfortable with it. BEING A VICTIM DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY FUCKING FORGIVEN, IT'S NOT A FREE PASS, YOU SEE? A 'victim' is a person with a whole personality, you can't see them as black and white because it's not who the person is.

This is something many people, including Yuno don't understand. Once you're labelled a 'victim' everyone begins to make excuses for you, those who you have hurt need to 'understand that you were hurt too'. So for Yuno, who strongly believes in society and its ideals, 'if im a victim it means i had no choice it means the people i have hurt [im shooting an arrow in the dark here, trust me bro please] need to understand, if im a victim i owe nothing to anyone'. The concept of victim is something like this to her.

This is how many, many girls I know think. In their mind, because of how they were raised and how everyone else thinks, they are being normal. They aren't victims. Yuno is literally just some girl.

[starglitterz]

serendipity. (vii)

─── chapter 7 ! ~ my bff thinks she’s sherlock holmes (…what?)

summary; when you, a waitress at the local coffee shop, are paired up with the new recruit scaramouche, you’re pretty sure both of you are going to get fired within a week. he’s just quit being a social media influencer and after being forced to work here to make ends meet, he’s ready to let everyone there know how much he hates it. the worst part? you can’t shake the feeling that you know him from somewhere. but as he slowly warms up to you, scaramouche realises that having a fresh start isn’t that bad after all, and perhaps the two of you meeting like this was pure serendipity.

a/n; hiii it's me again ! i'm so back >:) hope you missed serendipity bc i definitely did hehehe,,, also for further context on some details mentioned in this chapter, you should totally read cynosure 👀 (shameless self-promo LOL) anyways i hope u enjoy this chapter !!

warning(s); a lot of swearing, scuffed pics 😔

previous.┃masterlist.┃next.

please reblog w comments ! it helps a lot :)

private messages #1 !

phone call !

incoming call from kokomi at 1.30 p.m.

kokomi: hi, y/n! it's your lunch break now, right?

y/n: yep! i'm surprised you remember.

kokomi: hey! i just visited you the other day, my memory isn't that bad!!

y/n: yeah, yeah, whatever you say. anyways, what did you want to tell me? it sounded important.

kokomi: well… you know how we met childe and signora the other day, right?

y/n: yeah, i could barely believe they knew scara. i mean, this is the same guy who complains about the stray cats making a mess outside the cafe but still leaves leftovers for them. i wouldn't have expected him to have such famous friends.

kokomi: me too. and i actually wanted to talk to you about that.

y/n: why, what is it?

kokomi: i was curious about how scaramouche knew them, so i asked gorou to do a little digging.

y/n: what? kokomi, why would you do that?

kokomi: this guy shows up out of nowhere and ayaka hires him, and it turns out he has friends in such high places? it's suspicious!

y/n: what the fuck, kokomi? what's gotten into you? this is my colleague we're talking about. he's literally just some random guy ayaka hired, why do his friends matter? it's not like they're bad people!

kokomi: they might not be, but he is.

y/n: and what's that supposed to mean?

kokomi: check the link i just sent you.

y/n: fuck off, kokomi. i'm not dealing with this today. what's wrong with you?

kokomi: y/n, please just click it. i really think you need to see this.

you click on the link kokomi sent you - it's a youtube video titled 'the rise & fall of scaramouche'. you watch it in silence with kokomi still on the phone.

kokomi: you see? he was a drama youtuber and he got clout off of ruining other people's lives - he even got fired from genshin impact! when genshin threatened a lawsuit, he agreed to settle privately by deleting all his accounts. genshin must have paid to scrub all the traces of him they could from the internet too. i knew there was something fishy about him!

y/n: honestly, fuck you, kokomi.

kokomi: what?! why me?!

y/n: because who cares what his past was like? yeah, maybe he used to be a shitty person, and yeah he's still a pain in my ass, but he's changing. scara hasn't done anything bad since he started working here, i don't know why you're so against him.

kokomi: i just don't want you to get hurt, y/n. we all know you're still looking for that mystery guy from when you were younger, and this is the first time you've liked someone without mentioning that. i'm worried he's taking advantage of you.

y/n: get a grip, kokomi. i'm a grown adult, and you're not my mother. i can make my own choices and deal with the consequences.

kokomi: well forgive me for being worried about my FRIEND.

y/n: just… leave me alone. goodbye, kokomi.

call cut from y/n's end at 2.17 p.m.

private messages #2 !

twitter !

i'm curious, what do u guys think abt what kokomi did? are you on her side or y/n's side? i've personally experienced a lot of friends getting defensive whenever you point out anything wrong with their rs/bf so i guess this is partially inspired by that LOL

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