#as soon as I got his new card my fingers were on the trigger

[glubglubism]

Zayne’s Nose. That is all.

[miekasa]

NICE.

+ pairings: eren yeager + (fem) reader

+ genres: rich kid au, college au, friends to lovers au, fluff, light-ish angst, smut/nsfw content (everybody gets a piece)!

+ warnings: mentions of depression/anxiety, mentions and use of drugs and alcohol, some of the smut happens under the influence so be cautious if that’s something you don’t like, i swear this is all more idiots in love than angst tho i just wanna disclose everything fairly

+ notes: this is alternatively titled super rich kids and you can probably figure out why. some of this is based off of real life, some of it is straight out of gossip girl and i challenge you to separate the facts from the fiction :’) anyways, i hope we all remember the lyrics to in my feelings

+ more notes: one quick reference for ages in this fic—all the vets are older but not by that much, think various stages of grad school. armin, connie, sasha, annie, and bertholdt are all college sophomores. eren, the reader, and pretty much everybody else are college seniors, so they’re about a year or two older. also here is a playlist for your reading pleasures, shoutout to ryn for letting me mooch of their spotify account :’)

+ word count: 19k. i’m sorry.

+ summary: fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you.; or the story of notorious rich kid and self-proclaimed bad boy eren yeager, and his not so goody two-shoes best friend.

“So you’re saying that you don’t love me? That you’re not riding? That you’ll actually leave from beside me?”

“I’m saying that it’s ass o’clock in the morning and I’m not driving in the rain to Brooklyn to pick your sorry ass up.”

“But… but I want you, and I need you, and I’m down for you.”

You check the time on your phone screen and groan. 3:57am. Far too early to be dealing with the likes of Eren Jaeger. “Just get an Uber or something. I don’t know what you and your idiot friends were up to this time, but I don’t want any part of it.”

“First, they’re our idiot friends. Second, I don’t think they let you take Ubers from jail, and even if they did, it’s, like, four in the morning, so I don’t think there are any Ubers driving around, so could you pretty please come pick me up? I promise I’ll make it up to—”

“From where?” you cut him off, slowly sitting upright in your bed. You hold your phone closer to your ear, ready to listen again; because, certainly, you must have misheard him the first time. You wait, but the line is silent, save for Eren’s awkward chuckling. “Eren Asher Jaeger, tell me that that was another stupid lyric from that stupid song, and that you are not in prison right now.”

Eren makes a sad attempt at laughing. “Technically, it’s a holding cell, not really prison… and I would leave, but they suspended my license for a month, and Min can’t drive yet, so we kind of need you,” he explains, “Uh, no pun intended.”

“Min?” you pull your eyebrows together at the mention of the younger’s name, “Is Armin with you?”

“Uh, yeah.”

With a frown and a heavy sigh, you push yourself out of bed, wedging your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you grab the nearest pair of sweatpants.

“Why did you get him caught up in whatever stupid shit you were doing tonight?” you complain, scanning your dark bedroom for a shirt to wear, “Erwin’s going to castrate you when he finds out.”

You curse as you stub your toe against the edge of your bed on your way out of the room. Given the time, weather, and the fact that you have several exams to start studying for, hanging up and leaving Eren in the middle of god knows where Brooklyn doesn’t seem like such a bad idea, but you couldn’t go back to sleep knowing that Armin would have to suffer with him.

“Relax,” Eren breathes in a tone all too nonchalant for the situation at hand, “He didn’t get charged with anything, and nothing’s going on his record.”

“You don’t know that,” you retort, sliding your raincoat over your free arm, as you paddle down the stairs of your apartment, “The NYPD suck.”

“True,” he hums, “But I paid off the cop, so it’ll be fine.”

You pause in your steps, but really, you shouldn’t be surprised. “Of course you did,” you mumble, moving again and grabbing your car keys off of the kitchen island.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he questions. His tone is actually genuine and it tempts you to roll your eyes.

“What it always means, Eren,” you sigh, stepping into the elevator, “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

“Thank you, baby. I love you.”

“Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Get off my line.”

He doesn’t have time to throw in another pitiful “I love you” before the line goes dead and he’s met with static silence. He hangs up the station telephone with a silent chuckle, turning around to face Armin and Officer Hannes.

“Someone’s coming to pick us up,” he says, trying to focus on Armin’s sigh of relief and not the warmth creeping up his neck and into his cheeks, “I’ll, uh, call a tow for the car in the morning.”

The cop, too tired to care, only shrugs, and pays them no further attention. He hands Eren a plastic bag with his car keys and newly suspended license, escorts him back into the cell, and returns to his desk. Eren gives Hannes the finger while his back is turned.

Beside him, Armin is still quivering; bouncing his leg up and down, fiddling with his fingers, gnawing on his bottom lip. Eren frowns, a heavy wave of guilt washing over him as he takes in the younger’s anxiety ridden state. It wasn’t fair that Armin could have potentially suffered legal consequences because of his stupidity.

Eren’s lucky that Hannes was sleazy enough to accept his bribe and let him off with minimal punishment. With that they were doing, things could have ended up far worse for the both of them tonight.

“I’m sorry, man,” he apologizes, hands stuffed in his front pockets, “About tonight, I mean. We—I shouldn’t have done that, not with you there.”

Armin looks up at him with sparkling, doe eyes and Eren wants to punch himself in the gut for making him go through all of this, even if it didn’t amount to an actual arrest. “You couldn’t have known this was going to happen.”

“I could have prevented it,” he says. Because it’s what you would have said, too.

“It’s not your fault, I wanted to come, remember?” Armin tells him, redirecting his gaze to the grey floor of the precinct cell. He takes a deep breath, almost calming down completely when a sudden thought reignites his nervous ticks, “You… they’re not gonna tell my parents, right?”

“No, no—of course not.”

Armin was legally an adult; he, nor Eren, nor the police had to tell his parents anything. Sure, Hannes could rat them out, but honestly that sounded like way more work than he was cut out for; not to mention he’d be bound to reveal that he let them off easy for a couple thousand bucks.

Armin nods, “And… that wasn’t Erwin on the phone, right?”

“Are you kidding me? He’d murder me on the spot,” Eren says. He pauses before tacking on, “I, uh… I called (_____).”

“Oh,” the younger gapes, “She’ll kill you, too.”

“Yeah,” Eren sighs, scratching the back of his neck in nervous anticipation, “Trust me, I know.”

“You have your access card on you, right, Armin?” you ask. He nods sheepishly, hand on the car door handle.

“Thanks again for coming to get us,” he says meekly, “I’m sorry about waking you up and everything.”

You offer him a warm smile through the rear view mirror, “Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re safe. Text me when you get up tomorrow, okay? We can get brunch, my treat.”

His face lights up at the prospect of free food, and he nods once more, enthusiastically, but his expression falls again when he speaks, “Okay, and I’ll, um, pay you back for the tickets and stuff as soon as I can—”

“It’s fine, really, don’t worry about it,” you repeat.

“It was almost three thou—”

“You forget who you’re friends with,” you cut him off with a smile, “Don’t worry about it, okay? It wasn’t your fault.”

Armin’s eyes dart to Eren quickly, before clearing his throat, a light pink tint to his cheeks. You know that the prospect of money can be a sensitive subject for Armin, one easily triggered by his very environment, but this wasn’t negotiable on your end. You know that Armin doesn’t like the feeling of owing anyone anything, but he knows he won’t get you to budge; so, he quietly nods, appreciative of your generosity, before bidding you and Eren a final goodnight and sprinting towards the dorm. Once you see that he’s safely inside, you wave one last time, and wait for the door to shut behind him.

Slowly, Eren turns to the driver’s seat to look at you. You were eerily calm when you came to pick him and Armin up from the station. You didn’t yell, cuss, or punch him in the face like he expected. You politely talked to the officer, thanked him for his service, paid their fees, and up until now, you’ve shown no signs of being angry with him at all.

The two of you drive back to your shared apartment in complete silence, Eren too confused, and borderline scared, of initiating a conversation. He wonders if you’re too tired, or if you really don’t give a damn anymore, but when you pull into the underground lot of your building and put the car in park, he finds out the silence was simply the calm before the storm.

You take your hand off of the gear shift and turn towards him. It’s a quiet stare down for nearly a full minute before you break the mime act with a slap to his thigh.

“Drag racing? Are you out of your fucking mind? Of all the stupid shit you’ve done—and you’ve done a lot of stupid shit—this has got to take the cake. Just what the actual fuck were you thinking?”

“Ouch!” he inhales sharply, rubbing over where you’d hit him, “We were just having fun! Then these other guys showed up and started talking shit so—”

“Having fun?” you echo, “You couldn’t think of anything fun to do that’s not illegal in every borough of New York City?”

Eren feels his cheek flush, but he only huffs with the illusion of disinterest, “I don’t know why you’re freaking out so bad. I’m a good driver, it was those other squids that got us into shit, I’m telling you. They showed up looking for a fight, then ran like a bunch of pussies when the cops came.”

You exhale slowly, shaking your head in disbelief. You seem to have no other words to say to him, choosing to step out of the car and slam the door behind you. Eren quickly follows, slamming his door equally as hard, and hot on your trail as you march towards the elevator.

“(_____), come on, enough with the silent treatment,” he whines when you stick yourself in a corner of the elevator after pushing the button to the penthouse, “I told you I didn’t start shit, Armin and I got ratted on.”

“I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about whether or not they started it, Eren. You’re still the problem here.”

“Me? How am I the problem?” he pulls back, eyebrows drawn together in genuine confusion, “I just told you I didn’t do shit.”

You scoff, crossing your arms and shifting your left leg, “I’m not doing this with you right now.”

“Doing what with me?” he presses, tone growing icy.

“This, Eren!” you reiterate, “I’m too tired to hear your bullshit right now.”

The elevator dings and opens into your apartment. You push past him, continuing your deliberate strides through the living area, and to the stairs, but Eren catches you with a hand on your wrist before you can go any further.

“Will you fucking stop that,” he growls, “If you’ve got something to say, then stop running away from me, and just say it.”

“Funny,” you sneer, pulling your wrist away from him and settling both your feet on the bottom step, “You’re one to talk about running away from things.”

He takes a step back, standing just a notch below you, perfectly frozen in place. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means your little drag racing episode was not only dangerous and immature, it was you running away from your problems like a spoiled child, yet again.”

Eren’s features narrow at your accusations; eyes fading into hooded slits, lips curving downwards, and voice bobbing low, “I’m not running away from anything.”

“Oh, please, Eren,” you roll your eyes, arms retreating to their crossed position in front of your chest, “Cut the bullshit.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” But he bets that even in the dim lighting of the apartment, you can see the tips of his ears growing red, just like they always do when he’s lying.

“Oh, really?” you ask, eyes widening in mock surprise, “You don’t think I don’t know this whole thing has something to do with the fact that your mom came home on Friday?”

Another pause. “Who told you that?” He asks, but it comes out more like a statement.

“Nobody had to,” you snap, “Jean said he caught you with a sack of coke over the weekend, and I knew something was up.”

“It wasn’t mine, I was—”

“I said cut the shit, Eren. If I went up into your room right now I bet your ass I’d find more than enough of it in a shoebox somewhere.”

He retreats, almost bashful, but unapologetic all the same. “Fine, whatever, I did a few lines. Big deal.”

“The big deal is that you think this is fucking normal, and now you’ve upgraded from coke to getting yourself arrested! It’d be one thing if you were acting like a misfit on your own, but to drag Armin into it because you—”

“Drag him into it?” he echoes with the snare of sarcasm dripping from each syllable, “You talk about Armin like he’s six. I don’t know why you think he’s some helpless little baby, but you have no goddamn responsibility over him. He’s not your fucking charity case.”

“I never fucking said he’s my charity case—don’t you ever fucking say that,” you say, “Having some basic respect and concern for my friends isn’t charity.”

“Wake the fuck up! You baby Armin when he’s a grown ass man. I didn’t force him into the fucking car to get sympathy points from you.”

“Grown? Armin is barely nineteen, disowned by his parents, is on a full fucking ride to an insanely expensive university, and you got him arrested tonight! Do you know what could happen if NYU found out? They could fucking kick him out, take his scholarship away—and then what, huh? Or were you just gonna buy off the headmaster, too?”

“You’re acting like I fucking planned for it!”

He’s screaming now, voice bellowing throughout the apartment, face red—and he doesn’t mean to, he doesn’t mean it at all; but it’s late, and he’s tired, and those shouldn’t be excuses, but he’s too prideful to back down.

“Of course you didn’t! You didn’t plan for anything, you were just being a reckless, irresponsible asshole like always,” you tell him, too blind-sighted by anger and the need to chide him that you miss the teary undertones in his words.

“And what’s it matter to you?”

“It fucking matters to me when you call at some godforsaken hour asking me to pick you up from prison!”

He takes a step forward, right leg elevated by the same step that both your feet rest on. “Well, what else am I supposed to fucking do!” He shouts even though he’s mere inches from your face, “Tell me just what the fuck I’m supposed to do instead!”

“You’re supposed to act like an adult and fucking talk to someone!”

“Who the hell am I supposed to talk to, huh?” he presses, taking a step forward and forcing you to retreat backwards, and up a step, “My mother who’s never home or her bastard boyfriend?”—another step forward for him, another step backwards for you—“The step-brother I can’t get in contact with?”—one step forward; one step backwards—“Or maybe the dad I never had, right?”

“Me, Eren!” you yell back with equal vigor, throwing your hands up at your sides, and planting your feet firmly. “Armin, Mikasa, Jean—anyone! You have people who fucking care about you! Stop treating us like correction officers, we’re your fucking friends!”

There’s silence for a while, just you and Eren staring at each other, heavy breathing, waiting for the other to make the next move. He opens his mouth, but when he tries to speak, his resolve washes away, his throat tightens and the words get sucked back in.

It would be easy to keep yelling, screaming, blaming you for blowing up on him. He used to think the scolding he got from you after pulling some stupid stunt was the worst part; but now, he thinks it might be his favorite part. He hates to hear you scream, and it hurts to see you cry, but if you’re yelling, you’re angry that he hurt himself; you care that he’s okay.

“I—” he stutters, words quiet and broken, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to get like this tonight, it was an accident I—”

“You never mean for any of it to happen, yet it always does,” you interrupt, voice soft yet strained, “I know you have your own shit to deal with, but so does everybody else.”

“(_____), please, you’re right, okay? I should have said something before,” he admits, mouth small as he voices his confessions, “I should have talked to you or one of the boys, but I—I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

He’s groveling now. Mouth in pout, eyes wide, voice small, and honestly, he thinks he might cry. At this point he doesn’t care if he does.

“I want you to mean it,” you finally say, and when he looks up, he hates the look he sees in your eyes. It’s something between sad and hurt and empty and it’s awful. Someone like you shouldn’t feel that way. He shouldn’t make you feel that way.

“I—”

“When you’re ready to tell me exactly what’s going on with you—what’s happening that made you think going to jail would be better than facing your issues—I’ll be here to talk,” you continue, eyes watering, “But until then, goodnight, Eren.”

Eren winces when you turn around and ascend up the remaining stairs. He flirts with the idea of following you, going to your room to finish talking, but you’re probably angry enough to have it locked. His room is up there, too, but he opts for part of the sectional, laying down with the palms of his hands kneading against his closed eyelids.

For as long as he can remember, you’ve been there for him. Your friendship, at times, was like a game of tag—Eren always on the run with you loyally chasing after him; he’d always run amuck, and you’d always be there to catch him in the act. Now, it’s five in the morning, there’s no more yelling, no more chasing, no more racing, but he’s still running.

The following morning, you take Armin out to brunch, as promised. Jean tags along too, something about hanging out with the two of you being infinitely more entertaining than his genetics lecture. It doesn’t seem like Jean knows anything about Armin and Eren’s late night antics, so you don’t bring it up yourself.

Oblivious, Jean chats your ears off as if nothing is awry. Whether he knows it or not, he does a great job of distracting Armin from his own thoughts. They both eat to their heart’s content when you remind them you’ll foot the bill; and you don’t bat an eye when Jean convinces Armin to order his third round of pancakes. He deserves it.

Afterwards, Jean convinces the three of you to go window shopping with him in SoHo, claiming that he needed inspiration for his latest fashion assignment (you don’t question why he’s taking a fashion class as a biology major, but you suspect it has something to do with Mikasa). Window shopping soon turns into actual shopping, so almost completely unprompted, and with little effort on his part, Armin gets a few pieces of clothing on your behalf, while you try to ignore Eren’s words itching at the back of your mind.

Armin’s not a baby, but he certainly is a kid with a rough past and rough relationship with his parents at a time in his life where he arguably needs them the most. A little extra support from his friends wouldn’t harm him.

It’s nearing six when the three of you are wedged in a small booth inside a café, indulging in overpriced hot chocolate. Three sips into his second cup, Jean excuses himself to the bathroom, leaving you sitting across from Armin.

“You know, you don’t have to keep buying me stuff to make up for Eren,” Armin says, a small smile playing on his lips.

“I’m not trying to make up for him,” you sputter, careful not to spill your drink over your lap, “You had a rough night. Just accept my gifts, don’t be a brat.”

“I do accept them. Erwin’s been eyeing that Off White sweater for, like, three weeks now. He’s gonna have a hissy fit when he sees me wearing it.” You chuckle, and he continues, “But you know, as much I love spending time with you, you can’t use me to avoid Eren forever.”

“I’m not avoiding him,” you frown.

“You said you were going to take us to brunch, and then spent the whole day with us.”

“Funny, I recall you saying something about how much you love my company about thirty seconds ago.”

“He’s called you at least ten times today.”

“I was spending the day with my favorite NYU student… and Jean,” you bat your lashes, “I see you maybe once a week. I live with Eren, I have to see him every day.”

Armin calls your name with a pout, “He’s sorry, you know.”

“Not sorry enough,” you mumble. Armin opens his mouth to say something again, but then Jean’s sliding back into the booth, chatting about how he’s finally come up with the perfect anniversary date for Mikasa.

Armin doesn’t notice your sigh of relief, but he does take note of the way you wipe away your notifications when a text rings through. If Eren could spend his days running away from his problems, then you could, too.

Despite being arguably the greediest of you all, Jean loves company, so he doesn’t hesitate to say yes when you ask to crash at his place after your shopping escapades. You expect to be welcomed with sounds of screaming, laughter, and loud music, but to your surprise his apartment is completely silent upon your entering.

“Bertholdt has class and Marco has a meeting,” he prompts, as if he could read your thoughts. He shimmies his coat off his shoulders and tosses it over the bar in the foyer.

Their apartment has the same amount of rooms as yours and Eren’s, but is all stretched along a single floor. It’s more of a maze, really, with intricate turns, and hallways, that all more or less open up into the expanse of the foyer and bar. Their living room is your favorite part. A dark, brown leather sectional wraps around the back three walls and an oversized flatscreen encased in an ebony frame takes center stage. A collection of vinyl records litters the walls above the couch; each of the boys contributing their favorite discs as décor.

“If he has class, shouldn’t you have class?” you question, fingers dragging over the ridges of the closest record.

“I’ve had class all day, but that doesn’t mean I go,” Jean shrugs, walking up behind you and taking your jacket off your shoulders and your bag from your hand, “Besides, Bertholdt will probably cut half-way to go see Reiner, if he can even stay awake that long. Going with him is just as productive as staying home.”

“You’re all a mess,” you scoff, turning around as a cheesy grin grows on Jean’s lips. His smile is infectious, and soon you catch yourself grinning just because.

“You want something to drink?” he offers, throwing your coat over his elbow and tilting his head in the direction of the bar.

“You’re bad at mixing drinks,” you remind him, but follow him anyway.  

Jean laughs, not bothering to deny the jab. He doesn’t try his hand at anything mixed or complicated this time; simply offering you a glass of your favorite red, and pouring himself a smaller amount.

He puts the album you were gawking at earlier on the record player, the two of you sinking into the couch as lovely melodies radiate throughout the apartment.

He spends the first hour bitching about how Marco’s supposed to become a CEO in less than a year, yet has the attention span of a squirrel; but the playful lilt in the brunette’s voice, and the begrudging smile on his face lets you know that it’s all love. He gushes about Mikasa for a good half hour, cramming you with stories about his girlfriend’s talent for sewing and fashion. You also learn that Bertholdt’s been busier than usual these days, and Jean suspects it has something to do with a secret lover.

You pinch your eyebrows at his hunch. Bertholdt’s never been one for dating. He’s had many friends with benefits in the past, but they weren’t relationships, nor were they secrets. In fact, you don’t think that he could keep a secret to save his life.

“Why would he be hiding it if he were seeing someone?” you question, swirling your newly refilled glass.

“Dunno,” Jean shrugs, “But it’s sus, I’m telling you. He’s been oddly busy for someone with a 2.3 GPA. Either way, I’ll pry it out of him eventually.”

“You’re so fucking nosey,” you chuckle, watching the mischievous, satisfied grin settle onto his features.

“I kinda think it’s Armin,” Jean says after a while, downing the remaining wine in his cup, while you choke on your own drink.

“Why on Earth do you think if Bertholdt had a secret lover that it’d be Armin?”

“Because he was in love with him for, like, two years in high school,” Jean says, as if the information should be painfully obvious.

“Yeah, and Bert also hooked up with a million different people in high school.”

“That doesn’t mean he wasn’t still in love with Armin.”

“I don’t think Armin’s kissed another human, let alone is in a secret relationship with one.”

“Hm, true. I forget he’s still a virgin.”

“Hey—there’s nothing wrong with Armin being a virgin, leave him be.”

“I know there’s nothing wrong with it,” Jean whines, “But it’s so—he doesn’t have to be. Armin’s cute! And very attractive—dare I even say sexy. He could go outside and get laid right now if he just tried.”

“Stay humble, Jean boy. If I remember correctly, you only started breaking hearts a year ago,” you tut. Jean’s nose goes pink as he shoves you away when you continue, “But, if you’re so concerned with Armin’s virginity, why don’t you go help him out with it.”

“Actually, if I remember correctly, I think that’s more your gig,” he shoots back, a smug smile tugging on his lips. “Not to mention, I’m not trying to get beat up by Annie. Though, I wonder how much longer it’ll take before she finally snaps. Hey, maybe the both of you can tag team him, I’m sure Annie wouldn’t mind, and it might even make Armin less nervous to have you—”

It’s your turn to shove him now, throwing in an extra punch when his head bobs back with laughter. You’re very certain Annie would mind; you would mind if someone inserted themself in your kind of, sort of, not really relationship, and ruined your four years of pining.

“Speaking of lovers,” Jean prompts, once his laughter dies down, bending his knee and turning closer to you. “Why are you and lover boy fighting? Trouble in paradise?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you hum, sipping your drink in between words. Jean’s eyes pinch together. “Marco and I would never fight.”

“My god, will you let your Marco fantasies go already? You’ve already caused him one sexuality crisis,” Jean groans, “You know I mean Eren.”

You sigh, lowering your glass and reaching forward to pinch his cheek. “It’s nothing you have to worry your pretty little head over.”

“Please,” he scoffs, flicking your offending hand back, “He’s been texting us nonstop since this morning at, like, nine. I didn’t even know he was capable of waking up before noon.”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes, but Jean continues, “Why he would ask us for advice on you is beyond me. He knows you better than all of us combined.”

“And why you’re saying all of this is beyond me.”

“Oh, come on, what’d he do,” Jean pushes, borderline whines, as he puts his empty glass down in a cup holder embedded in the couch. He’s always been the most prone to gossip, but you forget that wine makes him even more of a nosey prick. “Must have been pretty bad. Or stupid.”

“Try both,” you mumble, “Well—I don’t know, it wasn’t… the worst thing anyone could do, but it was really fucking reckless—and why he did it, I couldn’t even tell you. I don’t know what goes through his mind half the time, but I swear he must have been on crack last night.”

“He probably was. On crack, I mean. I told you, I took an ounce from him over the weekend, but that was after Eren and Ymir did, like, five lines.”

“Do they really do that regularly?” you nearly cry, a hand massaging your temple, “Fucking Christ, if he really was high while driving, I’ll kill him myself.”

“Well, I don’t know if regular is the right word,” Jean ponders, “Maybe for Ymir, but god knows what she’s on half the time, anyways. Besides, coke isn’t the worst thing they could do.”

“You sound like you speak from personal experience.”

“Maybe,” he shrugs, pausing when you shoot him a disapproving look, “Oh, come on! You’re no angel, either—if memory serves, you were high as shit at Moblit’s birthday party, and kept singing the star spangled banner all night.”

“Yeah, on weed! One time! It was on a rooftop and the stars were out and it has the same rhythm as the happy birthday song, cut me some slack!”

He finds laughing at your expense to be much more fun, however, as he continues to chuckle while you throw a fit. He’s also not one to let a topic of gossip go undiscussed, and has no problem bringing the conversation back to Eren.

“It’s because you two don’t talk, you know,” Jean tuts, “That’s why you fight like this.”

For the second time, the younger’s words have your eyebrows growing close together. “I mean, I guess—but it’s more than that. Eren and I live together, we obviously talk, but—”

“I know, I know, but just hear me out, okay? You and Eren talk about a lot of things, yeah, but you also… don’t. And sometimes you don’t have to, because you guys, like… get each other.”

“Wow. What a way with words you have, Jean Kirstein. You should write a self-help book.”

“What I mean,” he sneers, unhappy with the sarcasm being thrown his way, “Is that you guys understand each other in weird ways. It’s actually kind of cute—sometimes a little freaky, in all honesty. It’s why you don’t always have to talk about serious things. But you take it for granted and let shit bottle up, and then get in denial about it until you blow up in each other’s faces.”

“Please, you barely passed one philosophy class and now you think you’re Plato.”

“You’re doing the in denial thing right now!” he taunts, “Come one, when you two fight like this, what’s it usually about?”

You sigh, sinking back into the plush leather of the couch, and wrapping your hands around a fluffy throw pillow. Thinking about arguing with Eren isn’t particularly something you like to do, and truthfully, you don’t really get pissed at each other that often. Not to the point of ignoring each other, at least.

“I don’t know,” you drawl, “Drugs, me forgetting things, him doing stupid shit, him thinking Mikasa could do better than you, school, drinking, the fact that he leaves his big ass shoes at the top of the stairs for me to trip over and fall to my death every morning, when—”

“His parents?” Jean cuts you off.

“I—we don’t really… it’s not so much fighting over his parents, it’s all the stuff he does to deal with his parents. He never gives his mom’s boyfriends a chance, and he never really talks about why, either. I know he’s secretly just angry and insecure about his dad, but… I don’t know. That doesn’t really make it better.”

“True,” he nods, “See—he doesn’t talk about it.”

“I know, and I told him that last night, too, but… it’s a sensitive subject for him—his dad, I mean,” you sigh, “And you’re right, he shouldn’t bottle his feelings up, but, on the other hand he’s watched his mom get married five times. I don’t always blame him for not wanting to talk about it.”

“Yeah, but just because it’s hard to talk about doesn’t mean he shouldn’t,” Jean lolls, “Wouldn’t you have rather he said something than have done whatever stupid shit he did to make you want to sleep here tonight?”

“Okay, Socrates, I get it,” you lighten up, “I’ll talk to him—or get him to talk to me. Are you happy?”

“Quite,” he says, annoyingly chipper as he rises from the couch. “I hate seeing my favorite power couple fighting.”

Jean knows his words would elicit a slap to his arm, so he takes off just before you can reach him, prompting you to chase him out of the living room and down the hall. The brunette cackles ridiculously loudly as you scream his name with profanities sprinkled in-between. You catch a hold of the bottom of his shirt and pull him back, finally flicking him on the forehead.

He accepts his punishment with pride, offering you a signature smile in return while you both catch your breaths. It’s a sweet moment, the two of you looking at each other with stupid smiles on your face, exhalations tickling your cheeks.

Jean’s eyes break the gaze first, as he looks down the remainder of your face, and back up to your eyes again. His words could get caught in his throat, but he doesn’t let them—he shakes his head, and swiftly turns around, beckoning for you to follow him.

“Come on, we can steal Marco’s clothes for your pajamas this time.”

Jean spends all of three minutes pulling apart Marco’s dresser before swiping a t-shirt and Christmas themed pajama bottoms from his room. He tosses them in your direction before leading you back down the hall and to the left, opening the door to the guest bedroom for you, before leaving you to change.

They have more than one guest bedroom, but this one is unofficially yours. Little pieces of you can be found littered throughout the room, from spare jewelry to mismatched makeup. You spot a single, gold, teardrop shaped earring on the vanity and sigh as you run your fingers over it.

You swear you’d lost it a few months ago. Trust Jean to put it away for safekeeping without telling you he’d found it. The boy in question returns moments later, knocking while walking through the door with your purse in hand.

“How’d you know I was about to ask you to get that?” you question, a smile on your face as you retrieve the small bag from his hands.

Jean offers you a cocky grin, “Cause I’m the best.”

“Don’t go getting a big head, now,” you tease, “Or, well, an even bigger head.”

Jean ignores your insult, as you take a seat at the edge of the bed, fishing through your bag for your phone to plug it in for the night. He’s about to turn around and bid you goodnight, when the flash of something orange peeping out of your purse prompts his next thought.

“Hey, you picked up your refill, right?” he asks innocently, “It should have been ready last Thursday.”

You sigh, head falling slightly when you close your bag and place it on the vanity. “Uh… no.”

Jean’s mouth is already open, ready with equally friendly and scolding words, but you cut him off before he can talk. “I was going to on Thursday, but I had class late, and then I forgot on Friday and I haven’t really had time since then. But I have a few left-overs from the last two months, so I’ve been taking those!”

Jean’s mouth closes, but his eyes narrow as he begins to walk towards you. You know he’s putting two and two together, so you speak ahead of him again.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t have any left over, but it’s only five, I promise! I’ve been really good, lately.”

Jean’s eyes remain in concentrated slits, but his resolve is waning when he reads over your expression. His facade fades as he takes the final steps towards you to stand directly in front of your body.

“Okay,” he says, voice soft through his smile, “I’ll go with you to pick them up tomorrow before I drop you home, yeah?”

It elates him more than it should to see the smile you flash his way. Unfortunately, it’s short-lived, as his next question leaves your face twisted with guilt.

“Have you… told Eren yet?”

You consider lying and saying yes, but something tells you Jean won’t buy it. Your silence seems to speak loud enough, as his shoulders drop with a quiet sigh.

“I want to, I just… well I’m mad at him right now, and even when I’m not… I don’t know why it’s so hard,” you confess.

“He’d wanna know, you know,” Jean says, and it’s not the first time he’s said it to you, either. “You know he wouldn’t judge you or anything.”

“I know that. But, truthfully, if I had things my way, not even you would know, Jean.”

It was an accident that Jean found out that you’d been taking anxiety medication.

It was at somebody’s house party where the majority of your friends and their guests had gotten piss drunk. Reiner’s date had suggested mixing their alcohol with molly she’d supposedly had in her bag. In her drunken stupor, she’d mistaken your purse for her own, but luckily, a not so drunk Jean had noticed the label didn’t match her name, and snagged the bottle before the worst could happen.

They ended up not finding her molly, anyway, but it’s a moot point. Jean had cornered you about the bottle later in the week with honest intentions; he’d been concerned that might be another kind of drug disguised by a prescription veil. However, you’d assured him that it was indeed your prescribed Lexapro, and not a shady mixture of black market substances.

And, he’d been more than understanding in the aftermath. Quite frankly, he had somewhat made it his business to ensure that you got and took your medication on time and felt comfortable getting to and from your therapy appointments.

It’s endearing in a way that made you pause and count your blessings sometimes. Jean had been nothing but unequivocally supportive in his understanding about anxiety and had gone the extra mile to comfort you where need be. It made you wonder why you hesitated to tell Eren on several occasions.

It was probably the very nature of anxiety itself that had you doubting your trust in Eren. You wanted to tell him—of course you did—but, you couldn’t. You know that Eren would do everything in his power to make it better, even if that was just being. You know that he’d want to know and he’d kill to understand. But you couldn’t possibly burden him with your problems, not when he has a million of his own.

The one person in the world you wanted to tell, you were terrified of talking to. And you know it’s irrational to be afraid of him, but you can’t seem to control those thoughts. It’s a tiring, consuming, endless cycle.

Jean watches the way your gaze lowers to the floor. He knows exactly what you’re thinking, and, god, he swears if he could take that train of thought away from you, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

With a heavy heart and tired eyes, he takes a final step forward and wraps his arms around your body. He counts three, four seconds before you hug him back. He raises a hand to the back to your head, cradling your face into his shoulder and squeezing you tightly.

“Hey, I’m proud of you, you know that,” he speaks, just a notch above a whisper, “I know you’ll tell him when you’re ready.”

“I will,” you murmur into the fabric of his shirt. You hug him back a little tighter and close your eyes, “Thank you, Jean.”

And Jean holds on, and hopes you know that he wouldn’t let you go, “You’re welcome, (_____).”

You come home to find your entire apartment littered with flowers; in the hallway, on the sectional, atop the counter, up the stairs.

There are several boxes of your favorite macarons stacked in a small pyramid on the kitchen island, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you checked the labels to find that they were shipped straight from the south of France this morning. There’s too many bottles of Ace on the coffee table, sparkling next to a basket of what looks like your regular skincare products. A pretty, gold bow rests atop an even prettier pair of red-bottomed heels, and if you’re not mistaken, that’s a limited edition, vintage YSL clutch on the sectional, resting against your favorite throw pillow.

You sigh, making your way to the couch to pick up the orange envelope sticking out of the handbag. Just as you’re about to open it, you hear footsteps, and a voice that follows.

“You’re back,” Eren chirps from mid-way on the staircase, “I, uh, there’s catering coming from Butter coming soon. I know it’s your favorite,” he continues as he descends the stairs.

He has his hand on the back of his neck and there’s a faint, pink tint to his cheeks as he slowly makes his way towards you. You cross your arms, looking him up and down when he stands in front of you.

He’s wearing dark jeans and a tweed sweater with patches at the elbow. His hair is split down the middle, longer than usual, so the ends of sweep over his eyelashes; and there are telltale signs that he’d been toying with it.

“Eren, what is all of this?” you finally ask, shifting your weight to your right leg.

“Part one of my apology and explanation,” he replies, a hopeful timbre to his voice. You roll your eyes, but he continues anyway, “Actually, part two is in that envelope.”

Skeptical, you unfold your arms and open the envelope. You don’t know what you were expecting—a card, maybe tickets to a musical or something; but what you definitely weren’t expecting were two tickets to Paris.

“France?” you look up, tickets in hand, “You don’t get it do you? You can’t just buy all of this shit, jet us off to Europe and expect everything to be okay.”

“No, no it’s not like that—I swear!” he interjects, hands moving sporadically, “It’s just, well… Can we sit? Then I can explain everything.”

Eren looks at you with those big green eyes and that sad pout to his lips, and you find yourself sighing and taking a seat on the couch against your better judgement. There’s a small smile to his lips when you do—a little victory—and he sits next to you, your knees resting against each other as you face him.

He’s shaking, and your resolve to punish him with whatever solid exterior and half-assed silent treatment dissolves as you take his left hand in your right, and recall your conversation with Jean. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s me, Eren. You can talk to me.”

When he feels your smaller hand envelop his, the shaking stops, and for a moment, it feels like he can do this, like everything is okay. He smiles, and takes a deep breath.

“The other night, you were right, about my mom and her boyfriend coming home,” he starts, words slow and heavy, “I didn’t even know she was coming—I knew she was visiting this month, but she didn’t tell me when, and I thought it was going to be just her, you know? But then she showed up with him, and, well, I don’t know. I was upset. She’s been home for a week now, and we haven’t even gone to dinner or anything.”

He pauses, and you squeeze his hand for reassurance, “We were supposed to get lunch on Thursday, but she cancelled. Had some meeting or something, I don’t know, I don’t care. Friday comes and she says she wants to have dinner, right?”

You nod, he continues. “I thought it was just going to be us, but he was there. That’s when she told me that… that they’re…” he squeezes his eyes shut, “They’re engaged.”

Your mouth falls into a small o-shape. Everything made perfect sense now.

It’s not that Eren didn’t love his mother, quite the opposite actually. He’s a mama’s boy through and through; she’s his role model, his everything, he adores her. Her career as a designer often takes her on long business trips, most frequently as prolonged stays in Paris, so much so that she relocated her primary office there shortly after Eren graduated high school.

Now, she only visits home for one or two weeks at a time, sometimes only for the weekend. Upon her decision to permanently relocate, she planned to leave Eren under the unofficial supervision of Mikasa. Instead, Eren bought Mikasa her own three-bedroom apartment in Midtown (according to his logic, it was better for her to have her own place than to move in with Jean), and a shared two-story penthouse for the both of you that overlooks Central Park.

Eren misses her more than he cares to admit, but he puts on the same facade every time she comes home because he hates the company she brings.

Paris is where she met her newest boyfriend, Mitchell, and Eren swears he hates that man with every fiber of his being. It’s not saying much, though, not when Eren’s hated every single one of his mother’s past romantic partners, right down to his own father.

“Is… is that why you—”

“Rented a brand new Corvette and went drag racing at one in the morning?” he chuckles, “Yeah. It was stupid, I know, but I was just angry, I guess. I dunno what I was feeling, but it wasn’t good.”

You nod, wrapping both of your hands around his now and offering him a warm smile. He smiles back, just for a moment. “That’s what the tickets are for, actually. The wedding.”

“They’re getting married in France?” you question, to which he nods, “On the first? Isn’t that a little short notice to plan a wedding?”

“I think you’re underestimating the power of Carla Jaeger,” he chuckles, “Apparently, it’s been in the works for a few months now. He proposed with fireworks or some shit. Said she wanted to tell me in person, though.”

“This ticket is for next week,” you say, rereading the dates on the papers. “The wedding is three weeks from now.”

“Well, I kind of figured we could take a little vacation before then,” he grins, “I texted most of the boys earlier, and they can probably come to the wedding, but I want to spend some time with you before it gets hectic, you know? Consider it an end of the semester present.”

Your eyes flicker down to your hand, still wrapped around Eren’s, when he starts to trace circles into your skin, “I thought I just told you, you can’t jet us off to Europe to fix things.”

“You did,” he hums, “And I know I can’t—I’m not trying to, I just… Truthfully, I reserved the plane and the hotel a few weeks back and it really was just going to be a surprise for us—well, more like a gift for you because I know you’ve been busting your ass in chem—but then… everything else happened, and I think a break sounds perfect before I watch my mom get married for the sixth time.”

You watch him continue to toy with your hands for a while, processing your conversation. It was typical of Eren to surprise you like this, so you can’t figure out why this particular present leaves you feeling warmer than usual.

“You sure you don’t need a break from me?”

Eren beams and takes the opportunity to lace your fingers together. “Nah, you’re annoying, but not Jean level annoying.”

You scoff, “I’m telling him you said that.”

“It’ll sound better coming from you, anyway,” he shrugs, “Besides, I might just murder Mitchell if you’re not there with me.”

You chuckle, on the verge of accepting his proposal, but the mention of Jean prompts another thought to cross through your mind. “I’d love to, but I… I don’t know. I don’t want Armin to spend the first few weeks of winter break here all alone.”

This Christmas would mark one year since Armin had seen, or even talked to, any of his immediate family members, with the exception of Erwin.

Last year, you all tried to salvage the damage by sticking around so, at the very least, he didn’t have to feel alone. You and your friends decided that Armin ought to be celebrated, not ostracized for any aspect of himself, so you all chipped in for a cute, impromptu trip to the Catskills so that everyone could be together and close to home.

This year, however, there seemed to be quite a few conflicts of interest. Even if Armin was one of the boys who was planning on attending the wedding, you doubt he had plans leading up to it. You know that Marco, Bertholdt, Mikasa, and Jean had invited him to go to Aspen with them, but Armin declined the offer. Similarly, Connie, Sasha, Annie, Reiner, and Ymir would be off to Dubai as soon as classes ended; an invitation Armin had also turned down.

You weren’t sure what Erwin’s plans were, though you’re certain they involved his own friends in some way or another. At the very least, it was unlikely that he would leave his younger brother completely stranded over the break; but you didn’t want to make plans without knowing Armin wouldn’t be alone.

“He won’t, actually he’ll be closer than you think,” Eren reassures you, “Hange and Moblit wanted to go skiing anyways, so Erwin is taking all of them to the Alps instead of Aspen. Armin doesn’t know yet, but he’s going with them.”

“Shouldn’t Erwin spend his break campaigning, and not skiing? Last I checked, he wasn’t too popular in Queens”

“Ah, you know Erwin,” Eren shrugs, “He has a way of making people devote themselves to him. He’ll win the election with or without campaigning, trust me—the point is, that little baby Armin will be safe and sound under Erwin’s protection, and you don’t have to worry about him.”

“How come you get to call him a baby?”

“Because I’m a hypocritical asshole who doesn’t deserve you, but is hoping you’ll come with me anyway.”

Eren smirks, but there’s a genuine undertone to his words as he moves his fingers to toy with the ring around your pointer finger. The same one he gave to you two Christmases ago. Well, kind of.

The ring he originally gifted you was a Harry Winston piece, with an encrusted band that wrapped into two sunflowers, both made of classic, white diamonds with emeralds sparkling in the center. After seeing the design, and the price tag, you demanded that he take it back, or at the very least, get it sized to fit on your index finger or thumb so that people didn’t get the wrong idea.

Instead, he came back with a simple, silver chain for the original ring to hang from, and the current ring on your finger; a rose gold band with tiny diamonds studded around it. Likely equally as expensive, but more appropriate according to you.

“Fine. But you have to be on your best behavior,” you agree, paying no mind to Eren’s thumb twirling your jewelry, “Do you promise me no drag racing or antics of any sort while we’re there?”

Eren shakes his head at the memory, eyeing the first ring that sits against your chest.

He smiles. “I do.”

The afternoon after your last exam, you bid the remainder of your friends goodbye, grab your bags, and hop on a plane with Eren. It arrives in Paris, but you’re rerouted off to Nice before you can so much as blink at the Eiffel tower; you’d be staying there for the two and half weeks leading up to the wedding, in a small villa.

You had to hand it to him, Eren really outdid himself. It’s dark and nearing three in the morning when you arrive, but even in your sleepy stupor you can admire your accommodations. The villa is secluded, the perfect distance from the water, and decorated lavishly almost to your exact liking. You wouldn’t be surprised if Eren sprung it on you that he’d bought the place, and wasn’t merely renting it for this vacation.

Every day after that, Eren proves he was honest in his intentions of this being a getaway gift to you. He’s planned every activity under the sun—from hot air balloon rides, to helicopter tours, to jet-skiing. The days are certainly fun and filled with beautiful memories, but there’s something special about Nice at sunset; something about the sound of gentle waves brushing up against the beach, and the spotlights carved from sun-cast shadows on the buildings.

It’s just after dinner time, bordering on your eighth night here, when you and Eren are walking along the cobblestone streets that border the beach, the length of your sundress flowing every which way with the breeze, and the tail of Eren’s blazer flailing like a cape behind him.

He looks nice tonight, but, truthfully, he always does. He claimed he hadn’t put on the casual green suit because of your outfit, but you swear he was wearing khakis before he saw your dress. The tips of his ears go red when you tease him about it at dinner, but it doesn’t really matter to you; he would have looked good, regardless. Those suits are made for him, after all; tailored to fit perfectly, and designed by his own mother.

The streets tend to settle down after six, locals and tourists retreating indoors or heading to the beach to relax and draw in the evening. Tonight, however, there’s much more commotion than usual on your route.

“Maybe we should take the long way,” you suggest. On the tips of your toes, you realize that there’s some kind of special event happening in the square, filled with lights and music that grows louder with every step you take.

But the crowd and the lights and the smell of food only piques Eren’s interest. “No way—let’s check it out!”

You don’t have the time to refute before his long legs surpass your own stride, headfirst into the sea of people. You can only follow with a smile and a shake of your head. The soft green of his suit jacket serves as your guide as he navigates through the crowd, but the closer you get to the center, the more people there are.

You can feel palms of your hands growing uncomfortably warm as you become hyperaware of just how many people there are. You clutch the end of your dress in your hand, for both practicality and as a sort of comfort mechanism, as you try your best to calm the anxious wave threatening to crash against you.

With a deep breath, you begin to walk again, unaware of Eren’s actions until you physically walk into his hand, long fingers poking at your belly. You hadn’t realized he stopped walking, or that you’d caught up with him, and your eyebrows crinkle when you look down to see Eren’s left hand extended behind him and towards you, palm facing upwards.

He doesn’t say anything, or look back at you at all. Only wraps his larger fingers around yours when he feels the weight of your hand in his, and continues to guide you through the crowd, his pace slower, and hand firm around yours.

The mass of people becomes more spread out when you approach what appears to be the center of the event; and it looks like a party, maybe a wedding of some sort. There’s food and champagne galore, and more than enough happy guests dancing along to upbeat music in the streets.

Eren’s eyes light up as he takes in the scene, “You wanna dance?”

“What—Eren, no!” you refuse, “We cannot crash these people’s party!”

“Why not?” he counters, without a care in the world, “Seems like an open invitation to me! Come on!”

And for the second time that evening, you find yourself being pulled into his schemes; this time in the direction of the open space dubbed dance floor.

You’re both terrible and ostentatious and people start to watch, but it doesn’t matter because you’re smiling too wide and laughing too hard to care. Eren has a way of moving both with and against the music, forcing your body to follow his lead.

He shouts something over the noise, but you don’t have time to register his words before he laces your right hand with his left, and places his right hand on your waist. There’s a blink of confusion for a moment before you’re being swept off your feet and into a dramatic dip. You don’t have time to secure yourself against his shoulders, but Eren does a fine job of supporting you with a single arm against your back.

From what you can tell the song is far from over and the dramatic pose is completely unwarranted, but you and the crowd alike are victim to his charm. You indulge yourself, looking up at him with eyes too fond to memorize every feature of his face in this moment; the way he’s laughing with that big, dumb, wide smile of his that makes his nose crinkle and his eyes light up.

You’re too busy looking at him to hear Eren’s voice calling out to you, or even realize that he’s moved you from your pose to standing back upright. He’s equal parts amused and concerned at the glazed over look in your eyes.

“Hello? Anybody home up there?” he teases, elongating the vowels and squeezing your waist to alert you.

The reminder of his hands on your hips pulls you back to reality, your eyes fluttering down to his arms, then back to his face. It feels stuffy suddenly, too close to function.

“Yea—yeah! Do you wanna get a drink? Yeah, let’s get a drink!” you exclaim, haphazardly pointing and walking towards the food.

You don’t see it, but Eren looks on with glittering eyes, his verbal agreement heard only by himself as you veer towards the buffet. He can still feel your body in his grip, still see the specks of gold in your pupils as he lingers on the back of your silhouette lovingly. And before you can realize, he snaps himself out of it—an out of body experience similar to yours a few moments ago—before catching up with you.

You end up socializing for much longer than intended. Eren makes friends with everyone, to no surprise, and, uncharacteristically, you feel influenced by his actions, and converse with a few people yourself. You let him take the lead, though. Partially because he’s better at it, and partially because you just like listening to him speak French.

“Hey, we should probably get out of here,” he whispers into your ear after waving goodbye to a lovely couple you’d just met, “Before the host of this party realizes we’re miles better than his actual guests.”

You nod with a smile, more than happy to play by his rules for the evening. He offers you his hand again, that same, dopey smile on his face when you take it.

He leads you out of the crowd and back on to the path to your villa, the smell of warm food and sounds of vibrant music growing dull as you venture further from the celebration. It’s much darker than it was when you began your trek back from the restaurant, but beautiful all the same.

Your sandals pad against the wooden dock that leads up the villa, and Eren unlocks the door silently, ushering you inside before entering behind you.

“I know I said I wanted to leave, but I’m not really tired yet,” Eren confesses, pulling his blazer off of his shoulders.

“Me neither,” you say, placing your small wristlet on the table with a shrug, “What do you wanna do though, I’m not—”

“Great!” he cuts you off, smile too big. You narrow your own in suspicion. That tone of voice with that look on his face usually meant something mischievous, at best. “Remember when you said the first time you’d smoke would be with me, and then pranced away and took a bowl from Hange and got high as shit at Moblit’s party?”

“Why does everyone remember Moblit’s party but me!”

“Don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, waving the topic away, “Anyway… Do you wanna smoke now?”

You blink. “I… did you… smuggle weed all the way to France?”

“No, of course not!” he refutes, “…I got it here.”

You scoff, but don’t have the time to question him further before Eren’s tugging on your wrist and pulling you into the bedroom. You take to sitting on your bed while he rummages through his suitcase to retrieve a small, clear jar with several rolled joints inside and a lighter to match.

He shuffles next to you in the bed, mindlessly handing you the lighter while he unscrews the top off the jar. He takes out two of the joints, places one next to the jar on the nightstand, and tucks the other between his teeth. He asks you to hand him the lighter, and you do so wordlessly, distracted by the sight of Eren’s gaze and the blunt poking out his mouth.

“This’ll be fun, yeah?” He reassures you, “Technically, you let Hange take your weed virginity, but I’ll be better.”

“Can you not phrase it like that,” you roll your eyes, “You already took my virginity virginity, don’t be bitter.”

An all too smug grin settles on his features as he recounts the fact. “Besides,” you tack on, “I’ve never done it like this before. So, it’s still a first, kind of.”

Eren cups one hand around the joint, sparking the lighter with the other until it catches fire. He inhales, slow and deliberate, as if he were putting on a show, or a lesson, of sorts, taking the smoke into his lungs and out through his mouth.

You’d gravely miscalculated how attractive Eren would look doing this. Sure, he’s hot, you knew that, but the pronunciation of his jawline when he exhales, and the confidence with which he drags on the blunt is a stark reminder to you. He takes a few more hits, just as slow and sensual as the first, and the room begins to feel warmer.

“Come closer,” be beckons, smoke rolling off of his tongue with every syllable.

You snap yourself out of the haze of your imagination and scoot closer to him. He silently hands you the joint, and it feels heavy between your fingers. At the distance, you take in the smell—pungent and off-putting, but too familiar.

Eventually, you bring it to your lips, careful not to let your tongue press against the tip, and inhale slowly, like you’d seen Eren do before. You do your best to hold the smoke in your lungs for a bit, but seeing as the last time you did this you were amped up on adrenaline and drunk off your ass, the task proves to be much more difficult. It tickles before becoming uncomfortable and you exhale ungracefully, puffs of smoke punctuating your coughs.

Eren watches with a grin, amused at the sight of you fanning the excess smoke away with your nose scrunched in distaste. “You should have warned me you were gonna cough like a bitch.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you whine, trying to hide the hint of a smile creeping onto your face. You hand the blunt back to him, “You’re supposed to teach me, not tease me, asshole.”

Eren pauses his laughter, unsure of what to make of your tone; rushed, a bit embarrassed, but testy. It’s quiet while he stares at you, trying not to let the implication of your words run wild in his mind; but it’s futile when you’re pouting like that, the room is growing foggier, and he’s been semi-hard since you accepted his offer.

“Fine. Watch and learn,” he breathes, words coming out more jagged than he’d intended.

This time, he completely exaggerates every motion; he inhales at a tantalizing pace and flutters his eyes closed while he lets the smoke swish in his mouth, down his throat, and expand into his lungs. He cranes his neck upwards, and purses his lips to let the clouds exit in the streamline that follows the slope of his jaw.

Maybe it’s the drugs getting to you, but your mind is filled with nothing but sheer clouds that aren’t thick enough to block out thoughts of Eren. The weed is unattractive, potent in smell, and all kinds of wrong; yet, everything about him is soft, sultry, and pulls you in.

“Wanna try again, or do you need another lesson?”

You faintly mutter a profanity under your breath. His words end with giggles, a sign the drugs have already begun to take their effect on him, his expression is still smug. You forget Eren knows just how attractive he is. Motherfucker.

“Actually,” he cuts your train of thought, “I have a better idea, come ‘ere.”

Eren beckons you forward again, closing the gap between your legs so that your knees graze each other under the fabric of your clothing while you’re sat next to each other. He leans over, far too close into your personal space, as if to test something; he freezes when his nose is mere inches from your face, a dissatisfied scrunch taking over his features.

He reinstates his hold on your wrist, motioning your body backwards until your back is against the frame of the bed. He hums in approval, positioning himself next to you again, equally as close, but far more comfortable for what he has planned next.

“I’m—I’m gonna try somethin’, okay?” he stutters, the first word mistakenly coming out in broken German, “Just, don’t freak out on me. It’ll be good, promise.”

You nod, unsure of what you’ve just signed off on, but you don’t have time to ask questions. Eren takes another hit, then passes the blunt to his non-dominant hand. He turns to face you, leans forward, and places his free hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer; the expanse of his palm leaving room for his thumb to venture over the bottom half of your cheek.

Eren pulls you in until your lips are millimeters apart, and he can see the pattern of your eyes in beautiful detail. He shifts his hand now so that the majority of it covers your face, the pad of his thumb running across your bottom lip. He applies the perfect amount of pressure to pry your willing mouth open, and then, finally, exhales.

This time, you can taste it. It’s woodsy, and bitter, but the sweet undertones dance on your tongue. This time, there’s more to think about than just the smoke in your lungs; like the burn of Eren’s hand on your neck; the pressure of his thumb against your bottom lip; the proximity of his lips to yours; the look in his eyes.

“Feel good?” he doesn’t bother to pull away before asking, and the words ghost over your lips with the remaining smoke. You nod; he smiles. “Wanna try again?”

You let out a breathy note of affirmation, and then he’s inhaling and exhaling into you, and you welcome him with pried lips and a heavy thumping in your chest. The confidence with which he maneuvers his body and the drugs is nerve-wracking, yet comforting at the same time; he has an expertise and power that intimidates, but compels you to follow.

Together, you finish the first blunt, and Eren lights the second without missing a beat. His hands are more demanding this around; they guide you into submission, and he’s pleased to find that you’re willing to listen.

After the third exhale, you stop focusing on his hands, and more on his lips. After the fourth, you think you might be high—not to the stars as you infamously were during Moblit’s party—but with a comfortable, dull buzz in your head. Everything feels a little fuzzy, out of touch, but you host a burning want for something more, something tangible.

You don’t know it, but Eren feels the same.

After the fifth exhale, Eren pulls away, the blunt a simple stub as he flicks it away onto the night stand, and you miss him being too close. You miss his hands, you miss his warmth, you crave his touch.

“Eren,” you call, unable to think of or see anything but him in the haze. He answers with a strained, “Yeah?” keening towards the sound of your voice, wide eyes flitting all over your face.

It’s too much, too close, too hot. That’s when you cup his jaw, pull him forward, and meld your lips together.

Kissing Eren is painfully familiar, and unnervingly satisfying. It’s certainly not your first kiss with him; and, yet he has a way of making you feel like it is while reminding you of your history. His lips are soft, and they taste like smoke and the chapstick you swear by because he refuses to buy or test out his own.

You pull away too soon, gauging his reaction with blown-out eyes, before dipping forward to have him against you again. Then again, and again, and again, until Eren is tired of your leaving, and his hands are back on your neck.

This kiss is deeper, Eren searching to satisfy the hunger aching inside of him, and you’re happy to comply when his thumb is pressing at your lower lip again. You open your mouth for him and he doesn’t waste a moment, brushing his tongue against yours experimentally, and then flush into your mouth.

He groans when you rake your fingers into his hair, and pulls back with a hissing noise when you scratch at his nape. Large hands move to grip at your waist, and he pulls you into his lap with a concentrated gaze—a brief second for him to admire the sight of you on top of him, before he resumes kissing you. He sucks on your tongue, rolls his past your teeth, and bites on your bottom lip.

You know he relishes in the sounds he elicits from you, and under any normal circumstance, you’re willing to put up a fight with him, but not now. Now, you let him unzip the back of your dress and snake his hands beneath the fabric. The rubbing motions of his hands turn into gripping, gripping into grinding, and eventually, an unfiltered moan slips past your lips when you feel Eren’s erection roll against you.

“Fuck,” he pulls back with a suck of your swollen lip, “You’re so hot.”

Eren quickly switches your positions so that he’s hovering over you. You chuckle lightly underneath him, taking the opportunity to run both your hands through his hair and cradle his head in your hold, “Haven’t done anything yet.”

“I know,” Eren murmurs, dipping his head down to press kisses into your neck, “Still so sexy. So pretty, always.”

Eren bites a hickey into your collar bone, and everywhere he can touch; your neck, your ears, your cheeks, your lips. Your moaning serves as the spark to keep him going, but he’s barely coherent himself the way you keep pulling at his hair and grinding yourself against him. Even through his clothes, you can feel how painfully hard he is.

He barely catches your tongue between his lips when you moan again, sucking harshly before bruising his lips over yours again. His hands are grabby again, finally pulling your dress completely off of your body, leaving it to form a puddle on the ground. They’re back on your as soon as possible, massaging over your tits, and running his index finger over your nipples.

“Eren... Eren, please,” you whimper, chest heaving as you look down at him. He rolls his index finger over your right nipple, with his left hand teasing the other with his thumb. You can’t tell if the look in his eyes is a product of the weed, or just his glassy, borderline predatory stare, but it makes you shiver with pleasure when he wraps his mouth around your nipple and sucks.

“I want you.”

“Want you, too,” Eren hums, pulling back with a thin trail of spit from your breast, before moving to give your left nipple the same treatment, “More than you know.”

You keen to him when he teases his teeth against you, finally having had enough you force him off of you with a tug of his hair. “Then take off your clothes.”

Eren blinks, wide-eyed but glazed all the same. He chuckles lightly, a blush spreading over his cheeks as he nods. He sits back on his knees, pulling his shirt over his head, forgoing undoing the buttons, and pauses briefly with his hands over the zipper of his pants.

“Please tell me you’re not that gone that you forgot how to undo your zipper,” you tease him, chest still heaving from his previous ministrations. Eren smiles, doe-eyed and hazy, and shakes his head.

“No,” he reassures you, finally undoing his zipper and shimmying his pants off his legs, “Was trying to remember what underwear I was wearing. Didn't want it to be embarrassing.”

His honesty makes you laugh, and Eren pauses for a moment to soak it in. Even like this, even with him stumbling over the steps to undress himself, and you almost completely naked in front of him, he can make you smile. There’s something equally sexy and endearing about your giggles; a juxtaposition that makes him want to hug you or kiss you or something in between. And you—you like the look in his eyes even through your giggling; the way he smiles back and blushes and tells you exactly what he’s thinking.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, “Don’t think mine are particularly sexy either.”

Eren hums, shuffling back on to the bed so that he’s between your legs, and leans forward to kiss you again. He still can’t seem to keep his hands off of you, his fingers immediately flying to your underwear and peeling them off your legs, pulling you closer despite the lack of space between your bodies.

“Yeah, doesn’t matter,” Eren echos, tossing the offending item to the side, before cupping your face in his hands, “I’d still wanna fuck you in your granny panties.”

“You wanna fuck me?” you question, eyes sparkling and hopeful.

“Yeah, I do,” Eren can’t help but to smile again, happy and high and drunk on you, too, “Will you let me?”

Your feverish nodding is all it takes for Eren’s mind to go hazy again; clouded with you, you, you. You pull him into a kiss, arching your body into his, and running your hands down the sides of his back. He moans at the feeling, punishing you by nipping at your lower lip and pressing your stomach back to the mattress with his palm.

Your eyes meet his as Eren lines himself up with your cunt, teasing your folds with the head; but it doesn’t take long before he finally pushes in, sheathing himself inside you completely without movement. He waits a minute, whether it’s to make you comfortable, or to gather his own bearings, you’re not sure; but when he’s ready, he flashes you a smile and waits for one in return, before he starts thrusting.

You know Eren’s not gentle; rough whether or not he intends to be by virtue of his size in comparison to you, but you seem to have forgotten just how capable he is of making you lose your senses. He has you gasping, grasping at him at him unintelligibly, feeling full with his cock inside of you.

Eren groans, borderline growls, when he feels you clench around him, when he sees you shaking beneath him. He could do this all; could watch you all day.

“So pretty, the prettiest. Prettiest girl, my favorite girl,” Eren praises, eyes raking up and down your thrashing body, “My favorite fucking girl.”

“You—you, too.”

“Yeah? I’m your favorite, too?” Eren coos, reaching out to guide your arms over your head, the force of his body pinning your hands down; you can hardly gasp before he lacess your fingers together, and gives you a reassuring squeeze.

“Promised you, didn’t I? That I’d be good to you, be on my best behavior,” Eren reminds you, leaning forward.

He eyes your necklace—eyes glued to ring around it—bouncing with your body. He bends his head down to kiss it, bites at the skin near it; a possessive streak overcoming him as the diamonds shine against you. “I said I’d treat you good, always. Meant it.”

He stutters, when you squeeze him back; fingers tightening around his hold, your pussy clenching around his cock. Your whining is insistent, and mixes with Eren’s low moans and guttural noises. Eren doesn’t let up his pace, fucking you fast and deep, and it’s only a matter of time before you feel a knot twisting in your belly.

You attempt to move your arms, searching for a release of the feeling building up inside of you but Eren is strong; stronger than you, and he keeps you in your place. Keeps your arms pinned above you, keeps his palms pressed into yours, keeps his lips hovering above yours, just out of reach.

“Eren,” you call his name through shaky moans.

“Yeah? What, baby?”

“Kiss me.”

And so he does, his lips needy and hungry over yours. Eren fucks you and kisses you through your orgasm, tasting your moans on his tongue in timing with him cumming inside of you. You don’t let up; kissing him lewdly while you both come down from your highs.

“So good,” Eren croons against your lips, down your jaw, into your skin, “So good for me.”

You both moan in chorus when he finally pulls out, Eren’s head laying on your collar, nose nuzzling into your neck. He lets your hands free, and immediately you wrap them around his back, holding him close as you both attempt to catch your breaths.

You don’t know how long you lay there like that, with Eren on top of you, and your thumb rubbing circles into his cheek while he sleeps soundly. Maybe an hour, maybe more, maybe less; but the euphoria of your sex doesn’t quiet seem to fade.

It might last all night, maybe even for the rest of your trip but you don’t mind. You think back to earlier in the evening, when you’d caught his gaze after your dance. The feeling isn’t all that different; warm, and fuzzy, and too much and not enough all at once. It feels good, it feels like Eren.

You hum softly to yourself, careful not to wake up the sleeping boy on your chest, when you realize exactly what these two moments have in common: a rare event in which Eren is still in front of you, steady and stagnant, no running or chasing; and you don’t want to let him go.

Sometimes Eren thinks you act oblivious on purpose just to fuck with him, because there’s absolutely no way you—or any human with a functioning nervous system and social cues—can’t tell that he’s completely, stupidly, and embarrassingly in love with you.

Long gone are his days of trying to deny it or get over it. He realized that sophomore year of high school—almost eight years ago—that no matter where he went, what kind of drug he inhaled, or how hard he tried, you’d be permanently etched into his heart. That doesn’t make it any less exhausting, and, in fact, only makes it more astounding that you haven’t caught on yet. Honestly, Eren’s considered hiring a private psychiatrist just to make nothing’s wrong with you.

Amazingly, the remainder of your vacation continues just like the former half. The only exception being that now you’re in Paris. And that he’s shamelessly coerced you into letting him fuck your brains out on several occasions. But besides that, everything’s chill.

Just two best friends traveling through France together and stopping to fuck in any semi-private location they can find. Just two peas in a pod walking along the Champs Elysées at damn near midnight. Just two best buds with linked arms tasting (see: feeding each other) every macaron flavor they come across while violinists play stupidly romantic, classical music in the background.

He knows he should probably talk to you about it, but for some reason he can’t. Like telling you would make it all too real, and give it a meaning that could so easily be taken away from him; give you a reason to want to leave him. Right now, it’s just a fantasy, and he’s free to keep dreaming, believing that he’s special and worth enough for the affection you’ve shown him.

He doesn’t want to be one in a list of your boyfriends, or fiances, or husbands; he wants to be your only one, and if he can’t be, then he’d rather be stuck to your side as your best friend. At least that way, in someway, he could remain special to you; not a forgotten, ordinary ex of your past.

Though, a best friend who he’s sleeping with regularly and he’s in love with and will always be in love with is starting to sound a lot like a husband to him. At least, the kind of husband he would like to be to you.

You call his name, asking him if he wants to try another sweet. Eren rolls his eyes. What he wants is to fuck you, and marry you, and have you bless his stupid little existence with two runts for kids that look like him but act like you so his life savings don’t run out by the time they’re twelve. But sure, he’ll settle for having you feed him another macaron in the meantime.

“This one tastes just like the coconut one,” he mumbles, chewing his way through the pastry you’d stuffed into his mouth whole.

It’s the seventh bakery you’ve stopped at tonight, and even though Eren’s growing pretty sick of the sugary treats, he’ll walk with you to every damn bakery in Paris tonight if that’s what you want.

He blinks at the thought. He’s so lovesick it’s disgusting. And he wouldn’t do a damn thing to change it.

“That’s probably because it’s almond and coconut flavored,” you say, wiping the stickiness from your fingers onto a napkin.

“I didn’t taste any almonds.”

“I don’t even think you could spell almond, much less tell me what they taste like.”

Eren simply pouts in refute, leaving you giggling at his expression. He doesn’t know if it’s possible, but you seem even prettier in Paris than in Nice. But, that’s probably his rose-colored glasses speaking.

“You think there’ll be macarons at the reception?” you question, biting into yet another pistachio flavored treat, “And if not, would it be rude to bring my own?”

He chuckles. “Yes, babe, I’m sure there will be macarons there.”

He’s always loved Paris, even when his mom moved away here and left him in New York, and he’d always loved it more when you’re with him. He feared that having to attend another, what he considered to be wasteful, wedding in arguably one of his favorite places in the world would leave a bitter taste in his mouth; but, thankfully, he’s only fallen deeper in love since being here.

“You sure you won’t be sick of them by tomorrow?” he asks, watching you debate between taste testing another variation of vanilla bean or rosé.

“How could I get sick of them?” you answer offhandedly, not sparing him a glance away as you choose the pink snack. How could he get sick of you.

“By the time we get back to New York you’ll have forgotten all about them,” he scoffs.

“Don’t worry I’ll quit it soon. I’ll have to eat something solid if I wanna take my meds and go to bed,” you spew with a smile, unaware of what you’ve actually just said, “But they are delicious and I have no regrets.”

Eren pauses. Then so do you, mouth stuffed with sickly sweet.

“I mean—”

“I know, you know,” he cuts you off, “About the meds and stuff.”

You look like you could pass out, or scream, or cry, or everything in between. Eren figures saying more is better than saying less, so he continues.

“I saw a bottle in the bathroom a few months ago,” he admits shyly, but careful about his tone, “Didn’t understand half the words on the label, but it had your name on it so I just, uh… Googled it.”

Of course he knows. Eren’s always kind of known, just never had the words to express it. He imagines that’s what you’re feeling right now.

“Oh,” you finally gape, “Why didn’t you, um… you know, like, say… anything?”

“It seemed like your secret to tell,” Eren shrugs, features softening out, “Besides, I figured you’d tell me when you wanted to.”

Eren’s always been better at showing than saying, anyway. He hopes that his actions, small as they may seem, might have provided you with any sort of comfort in the past few months. Maybe even before that, too.

“Oh,” you repeat, continually blinking at him, “That’s… that’s it? You’re cool with it?”

Now it’s Eren’s turn to blink. “What do you mean am I cool with it? They’re your meds.”

“Yeah, but like… you’re not mad I didn’t tell—”

“Of course I’m not mad,” he cuts you off with a soft smile, “It’s not really my business. I mean, like, you’re my business because I care about you, but you have your own private stuff, too, which is cool. Besides, when I was, uh, researching it, I learned that it can be hard to tell people stuff like that even if—”

Eren shuts up when he feels your weight against him and your arms wrapped around him. Shell shocked, he takes a moment to hug you back, and slowly comes to rest his chin atop your head after leaving a flurry of kisses.

“You didn’t have to look it up or do any kind of research, you know,” you mumble softly into his jacket. Eren borderline chortles, but only hugs you more tightly.

“Of course I did. If not for you, then for myself, because I meant it when I said I’d never seen half the words on the prescription before in my life,” he replies, heart glowing at the sound of your small chuckles.

He’s expecting an equally witty response, but you surprise him when you pull back just enough to face him, a hazy smile on your face. “You’re amazing, Eren.”

Don’t blush, fool. Don’t blush, fool. Don’t blush—fucking idiot.

“Yeah, I’m pretty great,” he boasts, leaning back into the coolest pose he could muster up while ignoring the growing heat creeping up his neck. It’s all in vain as you reach over to playfully tug at one of his ears.

He thinks you’re pretty like this. All the time, but most notably when he has you in his arms. So pretty, that he has to lean forward to kiss you; you don’t seem to mind, if the way you smile into the kiss is any indication of your feelings. Eren finds himself mirroring your grin; moving his arms from around your waist to the sides of your face.

The workers in this poor little café probably hate the two of you, but he doesn’t fucking care. He’s got his favorite girl in his arms right now, and you taste like almonds and coconuts and like the love of his life.

And he should tell you. Eren wants to tell you, and he finds himself wondering if those same intrusive, fearful thoughts were part of the driving force behind your own reason to keep your secrets from him.

You pull away from him, hands lightly draped around his neck, and you smile like you’re shy—like he hasn’t known you your whole life. Still, Eren finds himself smiling back; and thinks that if you were brave enough to tell him how you were feeling, then he should do the same.

“(_____), I… I gotta tell you something,” he starts, voice soft as his fingers curl around your waist a little more tightly, “Though, I’m kind of hoping you already know.”

You blink at him, almost innocently. Eren bites the inside of his jaw; you’re going to have to stop doing that before he jumps you again.

Better now than never, he supposes. He tries to shake his nerves when he takes your hands in his, completely covering them with his palms, and closes his eyes. Despite that, you try to offer him comfort, squeezing his fingers as best you can; and Eren takes that moment to thank his lucky stars for whoever decided to put you in his life. Because he knows that no matter what, even if he royally fucks this up, you’ll find some way to be there for him.

He slowly blinks his eyes open again, gaze resting on the ring around your neck. A faded chuckle escapes his lips when looks at it. The only one who got the wrong idea about his gift was you. But, he supposes that’s his fault; he never did explain it, after all.

“It’s nothing… It’s just that, I’m in—”

But Eren’s startled by a voice that makes him freeze. He almost wants to believe he misheard it, but he can hear the telltale clacking of vintage heels on the floor of the bakery and he knows that he didn’t mishear a thing.

Eren turns his head, and sure enough, there is his mother, in all her five foot glory, adorned in designer clothing from her beret to her shoes. With a fucking street urchin on her arm.

“Well, well, well, what a lovely surprise,” Carla beams, red lipstick perfectly in place even after a long day of wear.

Eren’s eyebrows draw together, as he takes in his mother and her fiancé standing in front of him. He can just barely register you calling out towards her, carefully maneuvering yourself off of his lap, and into the neighboring chair; but still keeping your right hand wrapped around his left. He can feel you squeeze it—whether to give him comfort, or warning, he’s not sure yet; probably both.

“It’s so good to see you!” you beam, excitedly offering her and Mitchell a seat across from the two of you at the table. Eren opens his mouth to refute, but you squeeze his hand again; a warning.

Carla leans forward to encase you in a hug, exchanging cheek kisses, and leaving Eren to stare at the street rat across from him. Mitchell seems to know better than to make eye contact with him, irises scattering from Carla’s back to the décor of the bakery while the two girls catch up.

“We missed you at the rehearsal dinner on Sunday,” Carla recounts, eyes fluttering to Eren’s briefly. One look into her son’s eyes, and she understands why; one look into his mother’s eyes, and Eren knows she has him all figured out. “I was worried you might not show at all.”

Eren strategically averts your gaze when you turn your head towards him, choosing to look at his mother instead.

“I didn’t even know there was a rehearsal dinner,” you tell her, tone polite, but Eren can hear the clear jab directed towards him, “I’m sorry, I—we would have gone, otherwise.”

“No need to apologize, darling,” Carla smiles, “I’m sure you two were very busy.”

“We were,” Eren cuts in, words definite. He sees a hint of surprise flash in his mother’s eyes briefly, expertly covered up with her sweet demeanor. She only nods in understanding, sitting back a bit to wrap her arm around Mitchell’s.

“What are you even doing here, Ma?” Eren questions, even as you do the same with his hands under the table, “Isn’t it bad luck to see the groom before the wedding.”

“After the third or fourth wedding, you grow tired of pleasantries and superstitions, my love,” she replies, “This place makes Mitchell’s favorite macarons, we thought we’d share a few before the big day. Maybe get some tea as a pre-celebration.”

The topic of sweets has you speaking up once again, engaging both his mother and Mitchell in a discussion about them, and your other findings from bakery hopping earlier. If Eren didn’t love you to pieces, he would have left the table a long time ago.

It carries on much longer than he can bear to endure; almost an hour of you, and his mother, and Mitchell making pleasant conversation while he tries his best not to brood beside you, but it’s futile. He feels like a little kid again. Stuck at the dinner table with his mother and a man he was being forced to get to know, only for him to become a stranger to him in a matter of months.

Eren grinds his teeth into each other when you laugh at something Mitchell says. He’s not going to sit through his any longer; or ever again.

“Well, this has been fun,” Eren says, voice blatantly monotonous as his cuts through the conversation, “But we should all probably head back go to bed. Big day tomorrow.”

“Eren, we should—” but, he stands up quickly, hand wrapping around yours to force you upwards too.

He doesn’t care to look at you, knowing the dissatisfied expression he’ll be met with. He fishes for his wallet and pulls out too many Euros, neatly tucking them under an unused knife to pay for the meal.

Eren’s steps out from between his chair and the table. “We’ll see you guys tomorr—” But is stopped before he can take three steps away.

His mother’s hand wrapped around his wrist. She stands, significantly shorter than Eren’s full height. “Actually, Eren, could I borrow you for a bit?”

And he doesn’t want to, because he knows exactly the conversation waiting for him. But he looks down at her, lets his eyes flicker to you, and back to her, and he knows he doesn’t have the heart to walk away. Not even if he tried.

He sighs with a shallow nod. He can feel your hand on his shoulder, the proud smile on your lips when you tell him that you’ll meet him back at your hotel. Mitchell ensures him and Carla that he’ll make sure you get back safely, and Eren still can’t stand the guy, but he’s grateful that he can at least be of use for something.

Eren kisses you on the forehead briefly, a promise to you and himself that he’ll finish his confession later. After all, he probably should come to terms with the woman who taught him what love is before he vowed to love you for the rest of his life.

The walk to his mother’s hotel is silent, Eren choosing to keep to himself, hands stuffed in his pockets to prevent his mom from holding them. He’s probably acting like a child, but isn’t that what he is to her; isn’t that she treats him as.

“Look, Ma, you don’t need my approval to marry him,” Eren grumbles, when they finally exit the elevator into the hotel room, “It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Of course I don’t,” Carla offers him a small grin, even if he won’t look at her directly, “But it matters to me.”

“Why does it matter now? It didn’t matter with Keith, or Henry, or Henri with an I, or any of the others,” Eren mumbles, reluctantly taking a seat on the stool opposite the vanity.

His mother tracks his movements with soft eyes and an amused grin as Eren absentmindedly bends a knee and begins to fiddle with the hem of his pants. Just like he used to when he was upset as a child.

“It mattered then, too, Eren,” she tells him, sitting on the stool and facing him.

He’s surprised by her words, his wide eyes giving him away even if he attempts to act unfazed. “It didn’t seem like it.”

Carla opens her mouth to speak, but closes it, words stuck in her throat. She watches Eren’s hunched figure, her tall son not even bothering to look her in the eyes. She exhales slowly; if he were five feet smaller, he’d have tucked himself under her arm, still refusing to look at her, but he’d have snuggled his head into her side while he pouted anyway.

“I suppose it didn’t,” she admits, “In the end, the love wasn’t enough to make it last, then.”

Eren is quiet for a bit at that, pulling at his pants leg. “And… and you love him enough, now?”

“It’s more than love, Eren. It’s... happiness—for yourself and another person—it’s being okay with somebody knowing you now, and forever. Whichever version of you that is.”

“Then why did you marry them before?” Eren asks, “If you knew it wasn’t enough, if you knew it was just going to end up as another big mistake.”

“Maybe the marriages were a mistake, and some of what came with them, but I don’t think the feelings were,” Carla muses, “Love is never wasted.”

“How can you say that?” Eren questions, disbelief and exasperation painted on his face, “Of course it is—you wasted your time, and your money, and your—your everything on those people who couldn’t care less about you now!”

“Eren—”

“You let them into our house,” Eren speaks over her, “You let them into your life, and they left. They always left—”

“Eren—”

“—And you even let some of them come back! Everyone, you let everyone have another chance, another anniversary, another wedding,” He’s ranting, crying, hot, irrational tears streaming down his face; hiccups interrupting his speech, “So—so, so if it’s not wasted and everyone gets another chance and another chance and another chance—why didn’t he come back, huh? For his?”

Eren’s standing now, arms flailing every which way during his breakdown, but his mother doesn’t try to stop him. She lets him continue, hears him out.

“If it’s love—if it’s not wasted, and it’s real—then why didn’t he come back? Why didn’t he want to? Why—why didn’t he want me? Why did I end up the bastard?”

Eren looks his mother in the eyes for the first time in the duration of their conversation with that final question; with his vision blurry, and chest heaving, and cheeks wet. Carla has no words to say; can only carefully open her arms, and wait for her son to come crashing into them. And he does; and it rains and pours, and Eren holds onto his mother for dear life, and onto the pieces of her breaking heart.

“Am I not good enough to have that kind of love?” Eren asks through tears, “Am I not special enough to want to know?”

“Eren,” she finally speaks, moving to cradle his head in her hands, “You don’t have to be special or good, to be known or loved. It’s enough that you were born. That’s enough to make you deserving of love.”

She doesn’t mind the tears against her palms or the hiccups of Eren’s breathing, “And you already have it.”

And Eren looks at her with eyes wide and wild like a child, staring at the first person to have ever loved someone as messed up, and plain, and ordinary as him; and he can feel more tears bubbling at his eyes.

“Ma, I’m—I’m so sorry,” he chokes out, wrapping his arms around her even tighter, chin resting on her shoulder while his shake through his tears, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Carla hugs her son as close as she can, like he’s five years old and the apple of her eye and she can take all his pain away. “You don’t have to be. You’re my son, and I’ll love you always.”

It feels like they have all the time in the world like that, to hug and cry and apologize; but Carla hopes Eren knows that he was always forgiven; that he never had anything to apologize for in the first place.

“She loves you, too, baby,” she coos, holding Eren as tight as possible, “But you have to let her know that. That you accept it.”

“Do you think she knows?” Eren asks, words muffled into the fabric of her clothing, “That I love her, too?”

“I do,” Carla confirms, pulling away to look at Eren in the eyes; his beautiful, shining, green eyes, “But I don’t think that either of you really realized it. I mean, you did give her an engagement ring, darling.”

Eren huffs at the memory, “She thought it was a gift.”

“Because you gave it to her as a gift.”

“I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“Love has a way of making people blind,” Carla muses, “Especially two lovesick semi-adults with too much money on their hands.”

Eren’s cheeks grow pink at the accusation, “It’s your money!”

“Yes, and I’m very happy to have it,” Carla chuckles, motioning for Eren to stand up. He does, and she looks up at him with glimmering, proud eyes. “Now, go, shoo. You have a girl to propose to, don’t you? There might be two Jaeger weddings this weekend.”

Eren nods, certain of himself for the first time in a while. He turns on his heel with a vigor igniting his footsteps, but pauses when he reaches the elevator. He makes a sharp turn, running back to his mom one last time, and squeezing her suddenly, and tightly against him.

“I love you, mom,” he says; the words too foreign on his tongue, and he vows to not let them be a stranger to his vocabulary from here on out.

“I love, you, too, Eren,” Carla calmly wraps her arms around her son one last time, “And I always will.”

You half-expected your walk back to your hotel with Mitchell to be painfully awkward, but he proves to be a pleasant conversationalist, even in Carla’s absence.

You know that Eren isn’t fond of him, but you wish that he would at least give him a chance. There’s no way to know if a marriage—if any relationship—will last forever, but, sometimes, you think it’s not about knowing about forever; but, rather about wanting it to make it there; about willing to go the distance with that person.

You can see that want, that willingness that works alongside love in Mitchell and Carla’s relationship, that stands out from her past marriages. You get the feeling they’re going to last; and that, most importantly, they both want it to, too.

It’s quiet out as you both walk the streets of Paris, Mitchell taking the time to point out small notes in architecture that interest you. You readjust your jacket as a gust of wind washes over you, careful to make sure your necklace doesn’t snag against your clothing.

“That’s a beautiful ring,” he calls to you gently.

“Thank you,” Surprised, you quickly let out an embarrassed cough, looking down to your left hand resting atop the uppermost button on your coat. “It was a gift.”

“I meant that one,” Mitchell corrects, carefully gesturing to his own neck to indicate that he was talking about the ring on your necklace, and not the one on your finger.

“Oh, thank you,” you repeat, “That one was actually a gift, too.”

The older man hums, continuing your walk to your hotel. “Must have been one hell of a gift. I don’t know many people who give out engagement rings as presents.”

“Oh, no, no, no, it wasn’t—it’s not an engagement ring,” you tell him, feeling a warmth creep up your cheeks even in the chilly atmosphere of the night, “Eren gave it to me, actually, a few years ago—it was a Christmas gift.”

“Eren, huh?” Mitchell smiles fondly, “That makes sense. Carla tells me how much he cares about you.”

“You—she does?” you stutter. Mitchell nods. “I—I mean, I care about him, too.”

“Enough to accept an engagement ring from him, it seems,” Mitchell taunts, “I’m no specialist, but I know a Harry Winston piece when I see it. They’re not cheap.”

“Trust me, I know,” you scoff, “I almost killed him when I saw how much he spent on it.”

“And you took it, anyway?”

“Well, he—he was supposed to return it,” you defend yourself, “Because I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea! But he just, well, he gave me the other one instead, so I wear that one on my hand.”

Mitchell pauses, just as you both stand to the entrance of your hotel. “And what was the wrong idea you didn’t want people getting.”

“That... that...,” you pause, thinking back to that Christmas day.

Even though Eren is known for spending ludacris amounts of money, the ring came as a genuine surprise to you. A couple thousand on shoes, sure—you’re victim to that yourself; a couple hundred thousand on a lavish vacation wasn’t out of the ordinary, either; but a million, maybe even more, on a ring that you could have only ever asked of him in your dreams was another thing completely.

And, sure, even a few million didn’t mean much to you or Eren at the end of the day, but it wasn’t just the price; it was the object of the money, too. To accept a house, or a car, or a jet for that amount is something you could rationalize; but a ring seemed foreign, and far out of your league.

Then there was the display and value it held beyond money. It’s beautiful, gorgeous, but more than that, it’s tailored to your exact liking. The synthesis of your aesthetic and everything you could ask for, garnished with the memory of Eren in the very design; the diamonds you love, the flowers that remind him of you, and the way they stems wrap around each other and the petals meet in the middle.

A small gasp leaves your lips and instinctively, you reach to clutch the ring in your hold. There was no way this was an engagement ring... Eren hadn’t proposed to you when he gave it to you—in fact, he was so casual about it, that it had you stunned that he hadn’t thought to consider that other people might think it meant something more than what he intended it to be.

But, looking back, it seems like you’re the only one who didn’t understand what was going on. Because Eren told you, even then, that he’d wanted you forever; you didn’t know how to hear him. It was all right there—not just in the ring, but in all his gifts, in the entirety of your friendship.

Eren loves you, more than you could ever know.

“It’s an engagement ring,” you say aloud, but more to yourself than to Mitchell, “Oh my god, it’s an engagement ring.”

Mitchell can’t do anything but smile at your revelation. You’re practically bouncing off the walls, connecting the puzzle pieces of your relationship in the middle of the street at damn near midnight, but you don’t care; because it finally feels right, and it finally, finally all makes sense.

“He, but he never pro—oh my fucking god, I’m going to kill him.”

You feel elated and confused and happy and murderous all at once. Eren wanted to marry you; Eren loved you. He wants you for the rest of his life, and you’ve been too blind to see it this entire time.

Still, you think that maybe a verbal proposal might have helped to open your eyes a bit.

“Mitchell, I have to—”

You’re cut off by the echo of your name coming from the opposite end of the street, and you can just barely make out of Eren’s figure in the faded lights of the street lamps. His name falls from your lips like a whisper, and you hardly register Mitchell’s amused, soft laughter from beside you.

“I think that’s my cue,” he says, patting you on the shoulder, “I better get back to Carla. Something tells me you two have a bit to talk about.”

You can barely nod at him, eye still wide and stunned, but a smile on your face even in your fearful anticipation. You don’t have time to thank him before he turns away, bidding you goodnight; and then you have something else to focus on, as Eren’s footsteps grow louder, and his silhouette grows sharper the closer he gets to you.

He practically crashes into you, chest heaving, hair wind-swept and wild from his running. He puts his hands on your shoulders, to steady himself physically and mentally, labored breaths ghosting over the top of your head.

“Hi,” he finally squeaks; and that stupid, big, dopey grin is on his face.

It’s ridiculous, so utterly ridiculous that you can’t help but greet him back. The two of you stand there, smiling like fools for god knows how long, before the realization strikes you for a second time.

Eren opens his mouth to finally speak, but a pained squeal leaves his lips instead as he feels the back of your hand slap his chest. “Ouch—hey, what was that for!”

“What the hell do you think you were doing proposing to me without telling me?” you screech, packing another punch to his chest for good measure, but it’s a poor barrier and does nothing to stop your tears from falling, “You’re an idiot, I should kill you for this, you know that, Eren Jaeger?”

Eren laughs softly, only to be heard by you in close proximity. He takes your offending hand in his, and reaches for your other, pulling both of them between your bodies. He can feel tears welling in his own eyes, as he looks down at the necklace, glimmering perfectly under the moonlight.  

“In my defense, the first thing you told me to do when I gave it to you was to return it.”

“I might not have said that if you told me what it meant,” you can hardly choke out a laugh through your tears; and Eren can’t stop his from falling either, “It’s insane, you know. This whole thing—to ask me to marry you at 19. For me to not realize until we’re 21.”

“I know,” Eren agrees, inching closer even though there’s barely any room between you, “I know. But I know I love you, every version of you. I always have, I always will.”

You close your eyes as Eren’s hands move to your face, gingerly sweeping your tears away from your cheeks. He feels too close, it feels like too much; but you don’t want him to move.

“You know... if you had asked me, then,” you start, blinking your eyes open with a sniffle; you’re met with Eren’s emerald greens one with far too much hope and love glimmering in them, “I—I don’t even know what I would have said.”

“And if I asked you now?”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, slowly raising your hands to wrap around Eren’s wrist, and lower them to your neck, before looking at him again, “Ask me.”

Eren blinks, carefully trailing his hands up and around your neck, nimble fingers undoing the clasp of your necklace. He hardly lets the chain pool into his hand before it’s tossed aside, and the ring is still between his thumbs and index fingers as he lowers himself on to one knee.

“You are the love of my life, and there’s not a single version of life—a single version of you, or me—where I don’t want to be with you forever,” Eren says, “And you know how shit I am with my words, but I fucking mean it. I swear to you, that I’ll do my best every day to show you how much you mean to me; marry me, and I’ll prove it to you, I swear, I will.”  

Your lips are wobbling at Eren’s confession below you, and you can just barely beckon him upwards in your state. He’s hardly back on two feet before you’re pulling him against you, ghosting the word “yes” on his lips before you kiss him.

You both melt into the kiss, Eren’s hands skillfully cupping your cheeks, while he keeps the ring in his hold and bruises your lips together.

“You don’t have to prove it to me, Eren,” you assure him, hand shaking when you pull apart and let him slip the ring onto your finger—where it belongs, “You already have.”

For his first birthday as a married man, Eren requested something intimate. He wanted just a small celebration with all of your mutual friends, some good food, alcohol, and lots of fun.

Supposedly simple and intimate for him entailed renting out the top floor of the Whitney, which was currently encasing an exhibit portraying some kind of abstract modern art that allowed for a very drunk Eren and Armin have to entertain themselves by trying their best to recreate the paintings using very flawed couples aerial yoga.

The art, paired with the dimmed lighting, Jean’s choice selection of overtly sexual music, and Eren’s pick of overpriced champagne also meant that Marco, Bertholdt, Connie, and Sasha found everything ten times funnier than they were—which meant they were a million times louder than usual.

Jean stands next to you by the bar, watching as Eren attempts to hold Armin above his head by holding on to just his waist. They’re unsuccessful, of course, resulting in both boys toppling onto the ground as the majority of their older friends laugh along.

“Lucky me, I get to take him home at the end of the night,” you drawl, turning to the bartender to order another drink.

She smiles, easily preparing your martini and sliding it you with an inquiry. “That’s your boyfriend? The tall one with the brown hair?”

“No,” you sigh, eyes closed for a moment before taking the glass between your fingers. “That’s my husband, unfortunately.”

× even more notes: this fic. is my baby. it’s been a draft of mine for over two years at this point. it’s gone through various fandoms but i’ve never quite been able to complete and post it, so i’m very happy that it’s finally here! i hope you all enjoyed, and i just wanted to say that i’m glad to finally have been able to share this with you all!

[biaswreckme]

how to care for your hybrid | jjk

Pairing: hybrid!Jungkook/Reader

Member: Jungkook

Length: 5253 words

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, 5+1

Rating: 18+

Triggers/Warnings: smut, hybrid smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), insinuation of past abuse (but nothing explicit or even saying what happened), mention of abandonment 

Project: @btscreatorscorner​ March workshop with the theme push the limits

Summary: how to care for your hybrid, or 5 times you cared for bunny hybrid!Jungkook and one time he took care of you

A/N: So this was supposed to be a drabble and it turned out to be a 5k fic. Alright. This was written for this month’s workshop for BTS Creators’ Corner network, and the theme was to push the limits. I had never written a hybrid fic before, so I interpret the theme as coming out of my writing comfort zone (even though it’s still smut...) Thankssss to my lobely lobely betas, @heejinnien​ for beta-reading the sfw parts of this fic, and to @taegularities​​ for beta-reading the nsfw bit :3 I love you girls ♥

You can find the sequel here.

1. Provide them with a comfortable home

You still remembered the day you had brought Jungkook home from the shelter. You had gone with a friend, just as a companion, not intending nor really wanting to adopt a hybrid. Sure, you’d feel lonely sometimes, living by yourself and in a foreign country, but the thought of adopting a hybrid had never crossed your mind. Adopting a plant? Sure. Adopting a cat? Maybe. Adopting a hybrid? Never. Until you saw him, that is.

The shelter was legit, your friend had said, having done her research. But the place still made you uncomfortable; the creatures, those people, inside the divisions - you refuse to think of them as cages - waiting for someone to help. You had to bite your lip to keep from crying upon seeing them, knowing it was a rescue shelter, and then your eyes crossed with his.

There was some magnetic energy in the air that had pulled you closer to his unit until you could read the informational pamphlet: he was named Jungkook, a rescue bunny hybrid. Your gaze had immediately shifted to the man again; he was only a couple of years younger than you, but there had been something about his gaze that almost hypnotized you. He had such wide, expressive, and round eyes glistening with moisture and paired with his ears drooping low on the back of his head, you could not resist it.

There would be a home inspection and you would need to get some provisions to fulfill all the exigencies, but you rushed to get everything together. They had provided you with a list of items to make the bunny hybrid comfortable and ease the transition, and you did not hesitate, deciding to worry about the credit card bills later.

And so you took him home. He had clung to you entering the apartment, slowly exploring the space and showing where he would be sleeping. At the shelter, they had told you the hybrid would need an appropriate bed, but you hadn’t felt comfortable just getting a bunny bed at the store, so you got him a real and human bed, wanting him to feel at ease enough to not need to shift into a full bunny to sleep - they had also told you he tended to do that, sleeping as a bunny because he did not feel comfortable in his hybrid human-like body.

You had gotten the basics necessary for the approval of the adoption, and then you took him to the store, letting him choose his own things. It would be a while until that wide-eyed, surprised look would leave his expression, even when you were alone at the apartment and just hanging out on the couch on a Sunday night. That first night, giving him the blankets and tucking him in, you promised to take care of him, and you could barely hear his voice in reply, so small and shy, even though he was much taller - and more muscly - than you. It did not feel right that he had to make himself so quiet and small if that was even possible, so you swore to yourself that you would do everything to help him come out of his shell.

And soon you would find yourself in the company of a very loud and boisterous bunny, no shame about singing, his love for gaming until late hours, and working out. And you could not avoid falling in love with him.

2. Make sure they are getting appropriate food

It was a Friday night, you got home tired after a long day at work, and you smiled to yourself, biting your own lip upon the sight that greeted you upon entering the apartment. A shirtless Jungkook, towel haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, his torso glistening with sweat from working out in your living room. He lifted his head upon hearing you enter, a big smile lighting up his face and his long ears pointed up. He got up and made a movement to hug you.

“Hi, noona!”

“Oh no, you don’t,” you barely ducked out of the day. “Jungkook, you’re sweaty…”

He was faster than you, predicting where you were going to dodge his new attempt at enveloping you with his arms, something he had been picking up whenever you joined him in a boxing workout. His arms quickly went around your body, pressing you against him, your forearms up in the failed endeavor of avoiding getting his sweat all over you. He hugged you tight, his chin resting on your shoulder and you felt one of his ears on your head as his entire body seemed to tremble, and as you looked down you saw his tail wiggle from side to side rapidly.

“You’re finally home,” he sighed, swaying you softly from side to side.

“Is everything okay, bun? I’m sorry I’m late, they had me stay…”

“I’m so hungry,” you could almost see the pout, knowing the small lisp that came out whenever he pursed his lips and whined.

You looked around the living room, seeing the empty protein shaker bottle on the coffee table, narrowing your eyes.

“Didn’t you have your shake? You were working out.”

“Well, I did…” he started.

“We went grocery shopping and there are still some veggies and fruit cut up from our weekend meal prep, bun,” you felt him hiding his face even more on your shoulder, squeezing your body. “What’s going on? Am I forgetting something?” There was a slightly teasing tone in your voice, knowing what he wanted.

“You promised…” his voice was a mumble, muffled by the way his pouty lips were pressing on your body, but before you could ask him to repeat, “You promised pizza night, noona.”

“I know, bun, I haven’t forgotten it,” you stepped away from him, looking into his eyes and seeing his demeanor change completely.

“Oh?”

“I made the order when I was stuck at a red light. I got your favorite,” you were about to continue, but was interrupted by his sweaty hug again, this time accompanied by a chuckle.

“Ok, we have just enough time to shower before it arrives, so let’s run and get ready.”

You were right and there was just enough time to quickly wash the day - and Jungkook’s sweat - away. You set up the coffee table while he went to get the pizza, knowing it would be hot and he would almost drop it entering the apartment as usual. You sat side by side on the floor in front of the small table, turning the television on to the show you have been binging, your backs propped up against the sofa.

Jungkook was usually very strict with his diet, being mindful of the food he ingested to maintain his physique and try to lower his body fat percentage - which was crazy to you, his muscles were already prominent and he seemed to get only bigger… how were you supposed to leave the house to work when you had your bun looking like that, especially early mornings, his hooded half-open eyes almost smiling at you wishing you a good day at work. Your fridge was always full of fresh and cut-up vegetables, fruit, and greens, catering to his diet (and you had to admit you have been eating much better since he entered your life). Sometimes you thought it was all his difficulties from before, his time spent in the shelter, that he had such a love for a cheesy hot pizza every once in a while during the weekend.

And how could you say no to him when he purposefully lowered his ears, pouted, and widened his big round eyes even more to convince you?

3. Explore new things together

“Come on baby, you said you wanted to try this. It’s just us now.”

“Y… yes, noona. It’s just so… big.” Jungkook’s eyes were wide open, looking at the size of the pool in the club. For as much of a muscle bunny he was, the sheer magnitude of the pool seemed to scare him.

He first brought up the idea when you were watching tv a few days ago, some random program late at night showing people on a beach, and Jungkook had seemed to be fixated on the screen. He wanted to visit the sea, for he had never been there before. You agreed to it, but you had to admit that you were scared too, so you compromised: you would start your water adventures at a pool, so he could test things out, see if he truly enjoyed being in the water and swimming.

A few calls later there you were, standing by the water. You picked a time when they said people weren’t usually in - it even involved getting a day off work so you could go this early, but you would do everything for Jungkook. You looked at him, observant, watching his reactions carefully. His ears were down the back of his head, his hands clenched together in front of his shirtless torso, his front teeth worrying into his bottom lip. You took one of his hands into yours and started taking him in the direction of the small ladder to enter the pool. For a moment you wanted to jump in, but you didn’t want to make him even more nervous.

“It’s okay, bun, we’re going into the shallower part so most of your body will be above the water, ok?”

He nodded, but still seemed hesitant to get in, waiting for you to do it first. You stepped down the small ladder, showing him that almost half of your body was above the water, that he would be safe and didn’t need to worry about this part. The water was on the warmer side; you thought going for the hot pool was the best idea to help him feel comfortable at first. He stepped in feet by feet, slowly, his nose scrunched, but the moment he felt the warmth on his feet it was like magic: his ears shot up and his eyes widened in surprise, his mouth coming into a small circle.

You smiled encouragingly and stepped back, giving him some space, seeing him put one of his feet to the bottom and then the other, grounding himself. He was taller than you and he noticed the difference in the level of the water surrounding you. You lowered your body, telling him you were doing it first so as not to frighten him and submerged yourself to get your hair wet. When you emerged, you saw his eyes were wide again, but his ears were not down as before. There was a glint of curiosity in his expression and you nodded in encouragement for him to try it out.

“It’s just like when you wet your hair in the tube, bun. Here, hold on to my hands and remember to hold your breath.”

He did so, holding them tightly in his fists as he bent his knees and lowered his body. You chuckled slightly when you saw that half of his ears were still out of the water, so you quickly untangled one of your hands from his and lightly pressed on them so they were submerged too. He got up and shook his head, water droplets flying everywhere. He started laughing when he saw you put your hands in your eyes, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

“Good?”

“Yes, noona, it’s good.”

“Are you ready to go a bit deeper?” His long ears perked up at your question, but his face seemed apprehensive. “Not much, we’re not swimming today, just going a bit more so you can maybe try floating.” His head moved up and down, agreeing to the idea, and you couldn’t help but think it was so cute the way his ears moved too.

You grabbed both his hands again so you were looking at each other as you slowly started to step back further into the deeper part of the pool. You didn’t rush, letting him adjust to the increasing level of the water, and only moved when he seemed comfortable. Jungkook always loved to have baths, so you figured he would love going to the pool too, especially a hot one. His smile got wider with each step, feeling more confident and safe with you. When the water hit your shoulders, you stopped and let his hands go.

“Bun, let’s try floating, ok? We’re starting small today, so you can just come closer and put your arms around my shoulders.” You said as you turned your back to him, and almost immediately you felt his arms around you. “Good! Now try letting your feet rise from the floor, let your body float a little.”

He tentatively lifted his feet, clinging to you harder as his body moved with the slow slushing of the water.

“I’ve got you, Kook,” you said as you pressed your hands to his. “I’m not letting go. Trust me, bun. Kick your feet back and put your weight on me.”

You felt him kick the water behind you, his strong arms flexing as he let his weight fall onto you. You knew the moment he started to float and enjoyed it; he pressed his face against your neck and started giggling, and when you looked at him, his nose was scrunched with happiness. His long ears were slightly facing backward, his eyes half-closed, and his little tail wiggling. You walked around the same area of the pool while he kicked his feet behind him, laughing freely as he enjoyed himself. As soon as you taught him to swim you would be taking a small holiday on the beach; you wanted to see this joy in him forever.

This moment was worth everything.

4. Make sure they are getting enough attention

“Morning, noona.”

You heard his voice, so gentle and still thick from sleep, waking up to the sound and the small kisses, his lips softly pressing against the back of your neck, his nose smelling your hair, his warm chest pressed against your back. You made an attempt to move your body but he tightened his arms around you.

“No moving yet, noona.”

“Morning, bun. What are you doing?”

“Just making sure you’re not going to leave my arms today,” he started, and you noticed his voice was heavy with emotion.

“Bun?”

He stayed quiet, hiding his face on your shoulder blades, and you did not say anything else until you felt it, until you felt them. There were small droplets of tears falling on your skin, and you turned around quickly to look at him fighting his embrace. Your hands immediately went to his face, wiping his cheeks, seeing him close his eyes and just quietly crying. Whenever he got like this, he would usually be quieter, needing to talk in his own time, so you did not ask him anything else, giving him space to let his feelings out. All you did was press your forehead against his and wipe his tears with your thumbs, and when you saw he would not stop so soon, you hugged him, letting your shirt dampen without caring about it. The moment you cradled his head against your chest, sobs started to wreck his body, making him shake and you could feel tears gathering in your own eyes. You had no idea how long you were like that, slowly caressing his hair, minding his long ears, but all that mattered was Jungkook. Slowly you felt his body starting to shake less, his hard sobs turning into small hiccups as he almost clawed at your back, needing to be closer to you.

“You’re… you’re not leaving me, right, noona?” His voice was quiet, but his question was too loud in the silence of the bedroom on a Saturday morning.

“Jungkook… no, love, I’m not leaving you,” your heart started to crackle with this question, and you pressed him against you even more. “Why, why do you think that, bun?”

He sniffled, pressing his nose against you and inhaling deeply, then said, his tone still small, “I’m feeling lonely… this past week…”

“Oh, Kook…” it seemed impossible, but you held him even closer to you, “I’ve been just too busy and exhausted from work, I know I got here yesterday and you were already in bed… I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

He sniffled again and you felt a new wave of fresh tears wetting your clothes.

“I thought…” he started, but his voice faltered. “I thought I made you mad. I thought you were angry at me… and that…” there was a small sob that shook his entire body, “I was scared, noona, I was scared you were going to take me back.”

You could not stop your own tears from falling on top of his head; you had no idea he had felt that way. You had tried texting him during the day whenever you could have a moment for yourself at work throughout this insane week, but again and again, they demanded more hours from you and you did not have the chance to say no. Jungkook was still finding his freedom and footing in the world, and it had worried you that you had to leave him to spend more time by himself than usual. But you never expected this reaction, and you made up your mind. They could ask someone else at work, why did it always have to be you?

“No, Kook… Listen, bun,” your voice trembled, so you paused to be more stable when talking to him. “I’m so sorry you were alone this week, this is not going to happen again, I promise. And the day you came home with me I made a promise, remember? I’m never taking you back unless you want to go.”

He shook his head quickly, signaling his opposition to the idea.

“I don’t want you to go either, bun. I love you, and I’m sorry again.”

He finally looked at you, murmuring I love you too, a small smile gracing his lips. Your chest was starting to feel lighter, starting to relax after being so worried at his crying. You had never seen him like this, and you never wanted to see it again.

“What do you need from me, bun?” you said and kissed his forehead, letting your lips linger for a brief second.

“Can we just… stay in bed today? I want to stay like this in your arms, I missed you too much, noona.”

“Whatever you want, love, I’m yours.”

“I never want to leave this bed,” he whined, burrowing closer to you, and you noticed that even though his face was swollen from the tears and his voice was hoarse, his ears were more relaxed than they were before; they were tense in a way that was new to you.

“What about food? And I’m sorry, you’re not using this bed as a toilet, ok?” you tried to lighten the mood and it worked, the sound of his delightful chuckle filling the room, and you laughed along. But you understood and agreed. You never wanted to leave this bed. And at least for the day, you would only leave when necessary, needing to feel him in your embrace and carefully observe as he truly started to believe in you, leaving his worries in the past.

5. Love them unconditionally

The first time it happened was purely accidental. You were cuddling on the sofa, watching television, your hand caressing his hair when you felt his entire body tremble with such force that you stopped and looked at him, your hands away from him.

“Jungkook, bun, what… did I hurt you?”

You were worried; his arms were crossed in front of his body and his hands clasped together tightly on his lap. His doe-like eyes were more expressive than ever, open wide, his long ears were down, and he seemed to still be shivering. What had you done? You noticed there was a pink hue starting to tint his cheeks and neck and when you kept staring at him, you saw that he tried to make himself smaller. You felt tears start to gather in the corners of your eyes, fearful that you had done something to remind him of his life before, as he usually referred to the time that preceded the shelter.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry, just tell me what I did so I don’t do it again.”

“You didn’t…” he started, his voice slightly higher-pitched than usual. He cleared his throat and continued, his eyes wandering around the living room,  “you… I…”

You nodded, trying to encourage him to speak, needing to know what went wrong.

“Noona… my ears… my bunny ears, they’re, hm, too sensitive,” he said, blushing harder, and he shuddered.

Oh.

Oh. Your gaze shifted downwards, and you could see his hands were trying to conceal his erection. You licked your lips unconsciously, and his eyes seemed to get even bigger.

“Bad sensitive or good sensitive?”

He looked down at your question, clenching his hands and pressing them on his crotch, but said “Good sensitive, I think?”

You scooted a little closer to him on the couch but still did not touch him. “Talk to me, bun,” you said softly, feeling that the subject was delicate, but you wanted to know whether or not to bring it up again, whether or not you could touch him like that.

“Noona… no one ever touched them like this before, like you,” he seemed hesitant, but continued nonetheless, “you don’t hurt me. You like it, you like me, right?”

You did not think twice before enveloping him into a hug, pressing him tight against you, overwhelmed with emotions at his question.

“I love you, Jungkook. Every part of you.” You had a feeling that this was what he needed to hear. It was not often that you saw him being insecure anymore, and it tugged on your heart uncomfortably. “You don’t ever have to feel bad with me, ok? I love you,” you repeated, emphasizing, trying to comfort him.

“I love you too, Y/n,” his voice continued soft, but he looked a tiny percentage more confident. “I think… at some point… maybe…” he looked at you, and you nodded again for him to continue. “I think I might want you to touch them when we’re, you know,” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down, chuckling, and there he was, getting back to you.

You laughed with him. It was unusual seeing him this shy in talking about sex, as he was definitely not shy at all performing it or even talking about it most of the time, but you understood this was a different issue.

“Only if it will make you feel good, bun, you know I don’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable,” you took his hand and held it, caressing the back of it with your thumb, and he nodded.

The next time it happened was not accidental at all, and it caught you by surprise.

You were already in bed, whispering sweet nothings as sleep didn’t reach you. The kiss started innocent enough, his lips pressing softly against yours while his hands stopped at your lower back, pulling you towards his body. His tongue caressed your lower lip and you opened your mouth, deepening the kiss as you pressed your body closer to his. His leg nudged its way between yours, and shortly after he rolled over you, his underwear not able to conceal his erection and you felt it directly where you needed it as he grabbed your leg and wrapped it around his waist.

His kisses moved down to your neck, nipping and sucking, his hips subtly moving, stimulating you. You grabbed his hair as he descended, lifting your tank top, softly sucking on your nipples as his hands started to lower your panties. He wasted no time, licking your slit from bottom to top, pausing to circle your clit before putting his lips around it and sucking rhythmically as one of his fingers teased your opening, slowly moving in and out. It wasn’t long until you felt your orgasm building that your hands grabbed his hair, pulling him up and towards you.

“I want you in me,” you whispered against his lips, tasting yourself, you needed to feel him.

He nodded and quickly removed his underwear, throwing it haphazardly behind him. He moved back between your legs, lowering his body on top of yours as you crossed your legs on his waist, helping the angle. His cock started to press into you and you felt the delicious stretch, inch by inch. His thickness filled you perfectly; you could almost feel the veiny lines that adorned the underside of his cock pressed on your walls, and whenever his hips made those small sharp trusts, the upwards curve of his erection put some pressure just right where your sweet spot was.

It was sweet and slow, your mouths connected in a seemingly never-ending kiss, his hips moving without rush, the pleasure building unhurriedly and constantly, his weight on top of you heightening the feelings. You started canting your hips with his, your languid movements following his rhythm, and his hand reached to yours, intertwined your fingers. He broke the kiss, looking into your eyes as he directed your hand to his hair. You immediately entangled your fingers on his dark strands, tugging on it and he moaned, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again and stopping the movements of his hips. Before you could ask what happened, he pushed your fingers from his hair, shaking his head softly and smiling. Still staring, he lowered his head and made your fingertips graze against one of his long ears, almost a ghost-like touch. You opened your mouth in surprise and let out a loud moan at the same time, as your first touch on that sensitive part of his made him snap his hips hard once against yours.

A shiver perpassed his body, probably due to the intensity of the touch, but he looked at you and nodded, and so you did not hesitate. Your other hand went to his head too, so you could gently caress his bunny ears; he trembled again but started moving his hips, this time with more urgency and small whines came out of his mouth in between kisses on your neck. One of his hands sneaked between your bodies, his thumb circling your clit, pressing on it, needing you to get closer, the intensity of his orgasm starting to overwhelm him. You were already close, so close to it, but you wanted him to reach his peak with you.

“Can I…” you pause to moan, feeling the edge approaching, “can I touch your tail too?”

He seemed so lost in the moment that you had to repeat the question, the need clear in your voice, and upon hearing it again, he did not hesitate in moaning out an affirmation, curious to see what it would feel like. You waited until you were at the brink of the precipice, your right hand going down his body, his back. And just as a sharp snap of hips hit you just right, snapping the coil of your orgasm, your fingers reached the fluffy tail. Feeling your touch, Jungkook let out a loud shout and stopped his hips, his cock deep inside you as you felt him pulse and his entire body trembled. He fell on top of you as aftershocks still ran through his figure, little high-pitched moans leaving his lips. You were not sure how long you were like that, legs entangled, your fingers caressing his back soothingly as your own body calmed down from the intense orgasm.

“Jungkook?”

“I’m…” he moaned out, “good. We’re doing this again as soon as I have control over my body, okay?”

You chuckled and he moaned for you to stop, the tiniest of movements overwhelming his senses. The next time you giggled at a comment he made, he turned you over, pushing your upper body into the bed and hoisting your hips up, and you certainly did not laugh anymore that night.

+1: Expect to be surprised by them

You heard the commotion outside on the street and you ran out of the apartment to the front door of the small building to see what it was about, and you opened it just in time to see Jungkook stepping out of the cause of the noise.

“Bun, what’s all this?”

“Oh hi noona! Surprise!”

It was indeed a surprise. This morning you had woken up and could not find Jungkook anywhere so you assumed he had gone for a run, but apparently not. There he was standing and waving at you in front of a camper van, a huge smile on his face, his long ears perked up. You could see your neighbors, Taehyung and his cat hybrid Jimin next to him, a sheepish expression on Taehyung’s face and a smile as big as Jungkook’s on Jimin’s lips.

“We’re going camping, noona!” Jungkook said as he approached you, enveloping you into his arms. “You’ve been so tired from work and now that you have a break, I thought we could go camping and have some fun…”

“Right now?” You asked, a little overwhelmed, but starting to get excited about the idea.

“Yes! Taehyung-hyung called up this place and rented the van, we got groceries, and Jimin even helped me pick a new coat for you, noona, I know you needed one.”

You felt your eyes tear up. You were so used to taking care of Jungkook and putting him in the first place that it was strange having someone take care of you like this. But this was Jungkook, you should have expected that. The day you brought him home from the shelter, he had said he would take care of you just as much as you would take care of him. You kissed him softly, pressing him against your body, and you whispered a thank you low in his ear.

“I love you, noona. Now let’s get your things ready, we have to get going, or else Tae-hyung said he is going to play all his old records in this player he brought the entire trip,” he stated wide-eyed and clearly hinting that he definitely did not want that.

You chuckled, knowing how picky Jungkook was with everything - his food, his clothes, his music. You took his hand and pulled him into the house, waving to the other boys at the front, signaling you would be out in a minute. You quickly packed a bag with Jungkook’s help and you waited as he got his camera and equipment bag, not forgetting the aux cord, set on not letting the other boys have control over the music.

What you would find only later on that evening is that for the first night, Taehyung and Jimin would set their tent a little far from the camp, giving you two some space for the date Jungkook had planned. A bottle of your favorite wine, Jungkook cooking a simple dinner by the fire camp, the bun’s eyes shining brightly as he scrunched his nose, and his small tail wagging slowly to the rhythm of a Frank Sinatra record under the moonlight.

--

Hope you enjoyed it and if you want to read more, how about finding out about the first time bun!Jungkook went to the beach?

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 14) - Keep Close

Summary: The Ackles have the Padalecki’s over for dinner and let it slip that they’re engaged. Things seem to be going well but the anniversary of the accident is coming up and the reader comes up with the Ackles taking their first vacation together as a means of distracting Jensen as well reconnecting with Ray...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of sex, mention of a dead parent/spouse, anxiety

A/N: Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

“I’m stuffed,” said Jensen that night, the kids running around playing soccer in the yard after dinner. 

“I need that chicken recipe,” said Jared.

“I’ll write it down for you guys,” you said, sitting back in your chair. “You can do it with breast too if you like that better.”

“I want exactly this like, everyday from now on,” said Jared. Gen rolled her eyes and Jensen pulled out his phone. “Want me to take a pic?”

“I don’t need your freakishly long arms just yet,” chuckled Jensen. He turned around and took one of the four of you at the table before handing off his phone. “Mind getting one of us?”

“Your mom harassing you for engagement photos already?” asked Gen.

“By the time we were leaving they were both asking for photos and being obnoxious. Better than they were though,” said Jensen, smiling beside you. Jared took a few more and handed the phone back. 

“I still can’t believe your parents would act like that,” said Gen. “I mean obviously I’m super happy it got fixed but that’s so unlike them.”

“They made a mistake is all,” you said with a smile. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to finish this beer in the pool.”

“I think I’ll join you,” said Jared. He stood up and had a look on his face you caught too late. Before you knew it he had you picked up and was jogging over to the deep end and jumping in with you.

“Jared!” you said when you popped up. He giggled and swam off to the shallow end. “After I helped pick up the plates ya big lug.”

“We got it,” said Jensen, carrying over two beer cans and handing them to you. “We’ll join you guys in a few.”

About ten minutes later Jensen was leaning against the side of the pool in his bright red swim trunks, handing you the other half of his cookie cake piece.

“So any big plans for the wedding?” asked Jared, sat on the pool steps with Gen.

“I have a thought,” you said, turning to Jensen. “I haven’t discussed it with Jensen yet.”

“Vegas. Shotgun wedding,” he laughed. You shook your head and he grinned. “You’re thinking the farm, aren’t you.”

“What do you think? It could be outdoor or indoor, whatever it needs to be depending on the weather.”

“I’d love that,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “That’d be perfect for us.”

“You own a farm?” asked Jared. 

“Yeah, ten minutes from the brewery.”

“Dudes. You can open bar with your own beer. Oh and dibs on being a groomsmen.”

“Like that wasn’t gonna happen,” said Jensen.

“I don’t know on that,” you said. Jared’s face fell and you shook your head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t be one. Of course you would. I just don’t have a lot of close girlfriends. I think it’d be weird if Jensen had a ton and…”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” said Gen. “We didn’t have an even number at our wedding.”

“We got time to figure that stuff out,” said Jensen, holding your waist. You finished the last bite of cookie and hummed. 

“So you two having a kid?” asked Jared. Gen whacked his chest and he shrugged.

“Jesus, Jare. Don’t ask that.”

“They’re our best friends and godparents to our children...although I guess Y/N didn’t know that she inherited that until now but come on, I know you’re wondering too.”

“Shut up,” said Gen, crossing her arms. “Obviously if they decide, they’ll tell us when it happens.”

“Yeah, I think there’ll be at least one,” you laughed. Gen lit up and turned to Jared.

“Last time they said they were having a baby guess what we did? I can’t handle no more babies,” said Jared.

“Can you even get that thing up anymore?” teased Jensen, sipping on his beer.

“You’re one to talk, old man.”

“That shit still works just fine.”

“Just fine?” shot back Jared.

“Oh my God. You’re both good at sex. Y/N be grateful you’ve missed this same conversation over and over for the past sixteen odd years,” said Gen. 

“I’m still taller,” said Jared with a smirk.

“I can last longer,” said Jensen with one of his own. They narrowed their eyes at one another and Jared stood up.

“Go wrestle on the grass,” groaned Gen. They both huffed and got out of the pool before starting to playfully wrestle. “See, what you may not realize yet is you have another child right there.”

“Yeah but he’s hot,” you said, Gen laughing while you sat beside her. “Do you guys really talk about sex with each other?”

“Yes and no. The boys are you know, boys. They’d combust if they didn’t tease each other. I wouldn’t say there’s like, intimate details or anything ever shared. They’re both pretty private about that sort of thing. Dee and I would talk but more so say we had fun the night before. Shit we probably talked about sex toys more than anything.”

You stopped mid sip of your beer and she laughed.

“When your guy is thousands of miles away for that long out of the year, you gotta get off on your own. You get pretty good at phone sex too. You’re lucky. Jensen won’t be staying away so long ever again he said.”

“No, no. But uh...before Jensen I’d had the same boyfriend forever and he was as vanilla as could be. We didn’t do that stuff really together.”

“I can text you some links to stuff. It’s not like you have to go in some scary store or anything. It’s discrete and I think a small vibe would be great to start with. You can use it during sex or foreplay or whatever. Just you know, have fun.”

“Jensen and I kinda got busted by the cops a week or so back for...activities in the backseat,” you said. She started to laugh and you groaned. “Thankfully it was his friend that caught us so he let us off the hook but...it was kinda fun.”

“Good,” she said, sighing as Jensen pinned Jared down. “Hey so yeah about that wedding thing. Jared had two more groomsmen than I had girls. It doesn’t have to be matchy, matchy, you know?”

“I know. I don’t know if…” you trailed off. “I lost my friend group when I broke it off with my last boyfriend. We’d been together for over ten years and I kept turning down his proposals and they didn’t like that. I have some nanny friends but not a lot and no one I’m really close to. I don’t know if I’d even get more than five people to come for me. Everyone else is his family and friends and I didn’t think about that until just now. I mean what would they think, seeing that? I don’t know if I even want anyone there now.”

“I think what they’d see is someone they care about marrying someone he loves. Just because we’re Jensen’s friends doesn’t mean we’re not your friends too. I know we’re still getting to know each other but we’ll be as close as those two eventually. Ruthie was texting me and we’re having a girls night the next convention in Dallas. You literally have a built in crew ready to go from the show, the girls and the guys. You are so coming with me to the next night I have with my local girlfriends and you got our family. You even got Dee’s parents. You have more than you know, sweetie.”

“I never had a best friend growing up except for my mom. Until Jensen,” you said. “I’ve never really been good at the friend thing.”

“Were you bullied in school?” she asked quietly.

“Don’t tell anyone besides Jared but my dad wasn’t a good person. He hurt me and so I was afraid of getting in trouble so I didn’t talk to other kids all that much until I got old enough to understand what he was doing was wrong and that’s how I ended up being adopted.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Can’t do anything about it now. But I can have it not control my life too. I’ve been pretty good since I was nine in that department. My mom dying sucked and things have been up and down but I like where I am now. This is easily the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Jens’s not perfect.”

“I know. But he’s good enough. He gave me a certain confidence to live my life, like really live it.”

“He’s alright,” she smiled. “You know I have an idea about this bridesmaids thing you might like.”

“You?”

“Oh I would for sure but I meant more so I know two little girls that wouldn’t mind. Maybe there’s a boy too,” she said.

“I’m gonna need you to be my wedding planner at this rate,” you said.

“Job accepted,” she said. “I say we go farmhouse modern style.”

“Gen. I got engaged like two weeks ago. We have time,” you said. “We don’t even have a date.”

“At the very least can we go dress shopping?” she asked.

“I’m going to regret this,” you sighed as Jensen stepped back in the water.

“Get yourself a stronger man, Padalecki. That one is weak,” he said. Jared followed him right after and went to tackle him when Gen caught his arm.

“Boys, not in the water,” she said.

“Chicken?” asked Jensen.

“Losers pick up the tab for when we go out this weekend for dinner. Deal?” asked Jared.

“Well in that case, you’re on.”

Two Weeks Later

“Jensen,” you said, carding your fingers through his hair while he absentmindedly burnt some eggs. “You okay babe?”

“Yeah. We ought to pack up the kids, get on the road soon if we’re gonna hit the beach.”

“I’m gonna drive, okay?” you asked. He nodded and you got out the eggs again, making up a new batch. “Do you want to talk to Ray?”

“Why?” he asked quietly, leaning back against the counter.

“Anniversaries of traumatic events can be triggering,” you said. “My mom died two days ago. Well, you know what I mean.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.

“Because it doesn’t trigger me anymore. But it did and this is the first time...the first one is the roughest.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I ought to talk to him.”

“Eat your breakfast. I’ll give him a call and get the kids ready while you guys talk, okay?” you said.

“Thank you,” he said. You kissed his cheek and hugged him before you went upstairs for your phone. It rang a few times but Ray finally answered, noise in the background.

“Y/N. Everything alright?” he asked.

“Hey. Yeah. We’re...we’re pretty good. Today’s the first anniversary of Jensen’s-”

“Ah. I understand.”

“Listen, I know it’s a Sunday and you don’t work the weekends but would you mind talking to him for a few minutes? We’re going down to Galveston for the week in a bit but he’s off this morning.”

“I’d talk to him even if he wasn’t your fiance but especially because of that. You know we’re actually down here ourselves for a few days. Just got down yesterday. If you guys are around...maybe we could get together for that swim.”

“I’d like that. You okay?” you asked.

“I always get a little down on the day but Sarah understands. You understand.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna put Jensen on and um, maybe we can meet at Arillo’s for dinner?”

“We got a reservation there ourselves tonight. How many in your crew? Five? I’ll call and ask for an update.”

“Yeah there’s five of us. Um, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for being so horrible as a teenager after mom. You loved her as much as I did.”

“Thank you but you don’t have to apologize for that. You got too much pain in your life. I’m glad you found the good stuff too.”

“Are Geroge and Taylor there?” you asked.

“Yeah kids are here. Taylor’s got some internship but she does it online half the day and George is some research assistant thing for one of his professors but same kinda deal. We leave them to work in the morning while Sarah and I have some fun. Want me to let them know you’re coming?”

“Probably a good idea. Not sure how they’ll react,” you said, Jensen poking his head into the bedroom. “Here’s Jensen.”

“Okay, sweetie. We’ll see you guys soon.”

You handed the phone to Jensen and finished up packing while he sat on the bed. You tried to leave him be but couldn’t help listening in.

“Yeah I’m anxious...I don’t want her to drive down today...you know why...I guess...probably...I don’t want to be freaking out for three hours in the car...because it’s today...I know...I know...so I have to suck it up...I don’t want to have a panic attack in the car with the kids...no I haven’t...I’m scared I will though...yeah...I understand...dude that sounds so stupid...that’s not medically anything...no I don’t have my doctorate...I don’t wanna ask her...I said I don’t want to, not that I wouldn’t...I know...I will...maybe I’ll try that too...yeah, Y/N said the first year is the roughest too...I’ll let her be in charge until we get down to the beach today. I think I’ll feel better after the car...yeah I kinda figured out what she was doing planning a trip on today of all days...I need it...really? Yeah, I’m looking forward to meeting up down there too...thanks Ray.”

You finished with your suitcase and had his open for him when he walked into the closet. He swallowed and handed your phone back.

“All good?” you asked.

“Ray thought it might be a good idea if I had something of yours with me on the way down, to keep on me since I’m...anxious this morning about being in a car.”

“Something of mine…” you said, looking at your side of the closet. “Why don’t you pack up and I’ll get you something before the road, okay?”

He nodded and twenty minutes and about three bathroom trips later the SUV was packed up. You hopped behind the wheel, Jensen tapping the arm rest from the passenger seat. 

“Here,” you said, reaching into your pocket, pulling out a bracelet. It was fabric, the kind made from craft string, white, rusty orange and a light tan color mixed together. 

“I’ve never seen this,” he said as he held it between his fingers.

“I got it on vacation with mom and Ray. Last one we went on,” you said, tying it around his wrist. “You have it.”

He stared at you as you turned the engine on, watching you backout. 

“This is too important for me to take,” he said quietly.

“It’s fabric. I want you to have it, okay?” you said, pulling onto the street and closing the gate. He nodded and you turned the radio on low. “Coffee run?”

“Yeah. Coffee sounds good right about now.”

You were only about fifteen or so minutes away from the beach house you’d rented. The kids were either taking naps in the backseats or watching a movie on the ipad. You risked a glance at Jensen, his fingers absently toying with the bracelet while he looked out the window, the radio on low. 

“How you doing big guy?” you asked as you pulled off to the exit ramp. 

“Pretty good now,” he said softly. 

“Mind navigating for me?” you asked. He hummed and picked up your phone from where it sat in the console the past few hours. About twenty minutes or so you were stretching outside of the car, Jensen opening the front door of the house with the code you’d been given. The kids climbed out and were good about each taking their own backpacks while you and Jensen gathered up the rest. 

“Come here,” he said, leaving the bags by his feet and kissing you against the side of the car. You grinned and he picked you up in a big squeezing hug. “I love you.”

“I know,” you said. He set you down and kissed you again. “You seem like yourself again.”

“I needed that push, get over that fear. But now, I can enjoy my day with my girl and my kiddos and apparently we are having dinner with Ray and his family tonight?” he asked.

“If that’s alright,” you said.

“One hundred percent,” he said, Arrow jumping up and down nearby. “Honey, go use the bathroom in the house if you have to go.”

“No I’m excited!” she said. “Can we go play on the beach? Pretty please?”

“Hm, give daddy fifteen minutes and then we can go?” he asked. She turned to you and grinned.

“We’ll go really soon sweetie. I promise.”

“Hey guys,” said Jensen an hour later, the five of you down on the beach and mostly watching them build a sandcastle together. “Y/N and I want to tell you something.”

“Is it that you guys are getting married?” asked JJ, patting some sand with her shovel. You glanced at Jensen and he shrugged. “You were talking to Aunt Gen and Uncle Jared about it last night, right?”

“Well, yes we were,” said Jensen. “I suppose we were a little louder than we thought. But yes, Y/N and I have decided to get married. We’re not sure when exactly but in the next year I can say.”

“So we have a mom again?” asked Arrow, fixing her corner of the castle that kept caving in.

“Well you guys are kinda lucky. You’ll get two moms,” he said. “How’s that sound?”

“We missed mom’s day,” she said with a sigh. “Right?”

“We’ll catch it next year, promise,” said Jensen. “Do you guys have any questions or anything you want to say?”

“Do we call you mom now?” asked JJ. 

“You guys call me whatever you want,” you said.

“Can we call you mom?” she asked. You nodded and she went back to playing in the sand. 

“Anything else guys?” asked Jensen.

“Can I get a giraffe?” asked Zeppelin while he figured out how much water to add to the sand to get it to stick together.

“No sweetie. They wouldn’t fit at our house,” said Jensen. 

“Darn it,” he said.

“I can tell you’re all so invested in this topic,” chuckled Jensen.

“Oh! Can my flower girl dress be purple?” asked JJ. 

“Your dress can be whatever color you want it to be,” you said.

“Awesome,” she said. “Or black and purple. With lightning stripes.”

“Ah, I knew the classic rock would finally pay off,” said Jensen.

“Maybe Daddy’s suit can be black and white stripes, like a tiger,” you said.

“Like a White Snake music video more like it,” he laughed. “We’ll figure all that stuff out. We wanted to make sure you guys knew was all and if you have any questions or were nervous or anything you know you can ask either one of us.”

“Mom makes you happy again. Of course you gotta marry her!” said Arrow. “Oh and get her a pony. Girls like that.”

“Would you care for a pony, sweetheart?” asked Jensen as he shook his head. 

“Are we talking mustang kind of pony?” you asked.

“That’s my girl,” he said, wrapping an arm over your shoulders, kissing your cheek. “Let dad get a picture of you guys. We’re on vacation after all.”

Five Hours Later

“Jensen,” you said, changing into a light summer top and a pair of denim shorts after your shower. He was standing by his suitcase undressed, trailing his finger over his scar. “Honey?”

“A year ago was the worst day of my life and today was a really great one. I get to meet Ray more and even Sarah and the kids who all sound great and...I’m really happy I’m still here to see all this.”

“Me too,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “Wear your red underwear.”

“Is that a request?”

“I like how you look when you take it off,” you said, gently smacking his ass as you went to go fix your hair.

“I am so grateful I found you,” he said to himself. You smiled and brushed your teeth quickly before checking yourself over and taking a selfie. You sat up on the counter and opened instagram, still silently grateful you’d always had it on private. There was nothing bad on it but Jensen and Jared had tagged you before and all of the comments always seemed to be negative.

“How do I look?” asked Jensen, walking in wearing a short sleeve navy button down and his red underwear.

“So sexy,” you giggled, Jensen digging through his other bag and finding his khaki shorts. 

“Can I get away with sneakers and a backwards baseball cap at this restaurant?” he asked.

“Totally. We always eat outside. It’s near the pier,” you said, putting up your post.

“Taking more pictures I can show off of you again?” he asked, grabbing your brush and getting some control of his damp hair back.

“Nobody even sees my instagram hardly,” you said.

“You know the internet knows we’re dating, right.”

“I’m pretty sure your fans still aren’t okay with that fact, even if they know.”

“Oh you’re mistaking the nutjobs for actual fans. The real ones, those guys are cool and nice. I actually got a lot of care packages and things from them last year. Still do. They really are good people. Those other ones that leave nasty comments? Fuck them. That shit don’t bother me anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying family and friends know. Can I show off the woman I love to the world?” You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him in front of you, his head cocking. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Better late than never.”

“Okay,” he said. “For now though, I’m looking forward to this dinner.”

“I hope it goes well. It’s George and Taylor I’m more worried about. They were kids when I decided to stop coming around. I only knew them maybe two years, if even that. I know they were upset.”

“Give them some credit. Ray raised them too after all.”

“I’m all set!” said Zeppelin, walking into the bathroom with his paw patrol shirt and nothing else on.

“At least I was gonna wear underwear,” chuckled Jensen. “Little dude. Get some undies on and shorts in the next two minutes or else…” he trailed off as he came in and hugged Jensen’s leg. 

“I love you, daddy,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Can we get a giraffe now?” he asked. Jensen rolled his eyes and you released him.

“Let’s go finish getting you dressed, buddy.”

“So you guys were Sarah’s fosters?” asked Jensen towards the end of dinner, all three kids passed out asleep in the stroller or on the bench besides you while you picked at your shared dessert. Neither George or Taylor had said much aside from introducing themselves. 

“Guys,” said Ray, nudging Taylor. “I’m sorry for our children’s rudeness. I was afraid of this.”

“Shut up,” they both said, Sarah sighing.

“The kids were both big fans of Supernatural. They grew up watching it with me. It was something we bonded over at first in fact,” she said. 

“Oh,” said Jensen, a smirk forming on his face. “Sam or Dean girls? George come on buddy, it’s okay.”

“This isn’t happening,” said Taylor, her eyes squeezed shut.

“So you guys don’t want to hear about the movie, gotcha,” he said, both of them snapping their heads up.

“He really is a dork,” you said. 

“Movie?” asked George.

“Someday. You can count on it,” said Jensen. “Maybe I’ll go easy on you guys and ask what mom was?”

“You boys are a little young for my tastes but honestly the guy who played John was very attractive,” she said.

“Even I’d hit that,” said Ray, Sarah laughing to herself.

“You can see Ray wins his ladies over with his charm,” you said, glancing at Taylor and George. “Like you guys could literally ask anything you ever wanted about the show and get an unfiltered answer if you want.”

“Did you really keep the car?” asked George. Jensen nodded and held up his finger.

“When we’re back in town, you guys come over and you can take a spin in it,” he said.

“Okay, he’s cool with me,” said George. You cocked your head and he smiled. “That was the car from the show I always told you about.”

“Oh. I thought you were talking about batman or something,” you said, pursing your lips. “Sorry I wasn’t…”

“You always sucked at pretending to be happy,” said Taylor. You looked down and nodded. “We get it. You had to do your own thing.”

“Don’t hate me for leaving?”

“Maybe when we were little,” she said. “But we’re older and we get that you probably felt like a fifth wheel.”

“Yeah. A lot really,” you said. “It worked out though.”

“She’s a Dean girl by the way,” said Ray, cracking up as Taylor whacked his arm.

“Dad! Oh my God no I’m not! I like Sam!” she said.

“Want to talk to him?” grinned Jensen. Her face went red and you heard a quiet chuckle at the table. “You’re right, we’ll save that for in person.”

“You basically are marrying Dean Winchester without like, the trauma,” she said. Jensen tensed up but kept a smile on his face. You knew Ray caught it when he gave him a simple nod.

“Trauma’s not inherently bad,” said Ray. “Everyone at this table has gone through some.”

“I know, dad,” she said quietly. She looked at George and he nodded. “Our parents were in a house fire. So were we. I was five and Georgie was four.”

“She carried him out and went next door for help,” you said.

“I was in a car accident last year,” said Jensen. You turned your head. It wasn’t public knowledge that he was in the car. He’d flat out told you that aside from family and a few friends, no one besides you knew. “I almost died. My wife did but for other reasons. You can still have trauma and a really good life.”

“Very good point, Jensen,” said Ray. “You two rugrats wouldn’t be around if mom and I had moped around in our misery forever.”

“Was he always such a sap?” asked George.

“From the day I met him,” you said, Jensen grabbing your hand under the table. “Would you mind watching the kids for a second?”

“Not at all,” he said. You excused yourself and brought Jensen along with you, walking out to the beach area, the breeze cool but light.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I can talk about it now. I went from having the worst year of my life to one of the best. Nothing bad’s gonna happen for saying what really happened. I want to let all that shit go and have the rest of that really good life I was talking about.”

“For someone who keeps a lot inside I sure have noticed a difference in you the past few weeks.”

“To quote both of the loves of my life, I gotta let that shit out more regularly,” he said. You smiled and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, giving him a kiss. 

“You know that’s what we call growth, babe.”

“I very easily could have gone the opposite way this year.”

“But you didn’t, cause you tried even though it sucks sometimes. I love you but I extra love happy you and you’re definitely a happier guy now than when I met you.”

“So are you, honey,” he said. “Must make a pretty good team or something.”

“Oh yeah, maybe that’s it.”

“We should honestly get like, married or something, you know?” he teased.

“First I have to know though, are you willing to do cookie cake for a wedding cake?”

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” he said. “The real questions is, are you willing to deal with the eventual dad bod that will happen as a result?”

“I love this bod, but I don’t love you for this bod,” you said. 

“Thank you for today,” he said softly. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. He grinned and kissed your cheek, hugging you tightly. “What are best friends for?”

“Everything?”

“Hell yeah they are Ackles.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 15 here!

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Sorry for your lost - Part I “I will grieve”.

Serie Masterlist here || Part II|| Read on AO3 

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, hurtful behaviors, domestic wanda.

Chapter warnings: Heavy angst, death.

Author’s notes:  Hello readers! I'm finally back to posting something, but I disappeared for a good reason, I was writing three new series. And here is the first of them. I really enjoyed this work and it's something I've been trying to write since I watched WandaVision, and only now I've managed to put it into words. I am not finished yet, but there is only one chapter left, so your reading will not be affected. Pay attention to the warnings, and good reading!

Tag list (let me know if you wanna be tagged) 

@mionemymind​ / @abimess​ / @stephanieromanoff​ / @yourtaletotell​ / @tomy5girls​ / @justagaypanicking​ / @thegayw1tch​

//-//

Chapter One - I’ll grieve.

You wished you could go back to sleep as soon as you opened your eyes. The sound of your alarm buzzed loudly throughout the room, and after putting it on snooze mode at least four times, you finally got annoyed enough to grab it and throw it across the room. But the sound continued.

Letting out a grumble of dissatisfaction, you pushed the comforter off you, and sat up in your bed. Your room was a mess, but you just skipped through the clothes on the floor to reach the phone, turning off the alarm through the new crack you made in the screen.

"Honey, are you up?" you heard your mother's distant voice calling you through the door, probably from the living room or the kitchen. "Don't forget your therapy today."

You sighed impatiently, running your hands through your hair. The damn group therapy. 

Grumbling lightly, you forced yourself to take a shower, not wanting "poor hygiene" to end up on your progress report card. 

A while later, when you were finished, you went into the kitchen. Your mother was using her laptop on the counter, and just waved at you.

"Are you going to take me?" You asked her with your hands in your pockets. Your mother took her eyes off the screen to evaluate the sweatshirt you were wearing, and you rolled your eyes at her disapproving expression. 

"You know, you could try driv-"

"Mom" You cut her off in earnest, your heart racing momentarily. You don't drive. An she knows. Your mother sighs, putting her hands up in a sign of surrender.

"It was just a suggestion dear." She retorts as she stands up, reaching for her car key on the key rack exiting the kitchen. "But I'm busy with the store, you'll need to take the subway next time."

"Thanks for the support." You grumble as you step out in front and your mother lets out a wry chuckle.

You frown and let out a dissatisfied exclamation as you step outside feeling the sun's rays on your face.

"You're not a vampire, cut the drama." Mocks your mother by pushing you lightly to get you out of the way. 

You grumble  as you walk to the car. And when you are sitting on the seat, your mother is starting the vehicle and she asks:

"Are you sure you're not going to eat anything?"

Looking out the window, you just mumble that you're not hungry, and she shakes her head in disapproval before you back the car up. You don't speak any more on the way.

//-//

Your mother dropped you off in the parking lot of a gymnasium where the therapy group would be meeting. You sighed as you got out, and thanked her for the ride and the money she gave you to eat, even though you probably weren't going to use.

Resisting the urge to run away, you forced your feet to walk toward the place.

There were a few people at the door, but you didn't smile at any of them, entering the place with your head down and your hands in your pockets. 

And then a woman greeted you, and put a little sticker with your name on your shirt when you gave her your papers. 

Then she signaled the way you should go, and you ended up on the gymnasium court, where there was a wheel of chairs, and a table with food and drink, and several people scattered around, who you thought were part of your therapy group. 

Sighing impatiently you made your way to the bleachers of the venue, hoping to be alone until the session started and you could leave.

Fortunately it wasn't long before the leader signaled for everyone to sit in the circle, and you sighed as you stood up. You ended up with one of the chairs on the far left opposite the therapist, which could be bad since he would see you clearly.

"Thank you very much for coming." Said the therapist smiling gently as his gaze roved over everyone in the circle. You kept your gaze on your shoes. He made a noise with his throat. "Who would like to start today?"

The silence lasted for a few seconds, but then someone was speaking. You forced yourself to come back to reality and pay attention.

"[...] and this is my fourth week around here." Said a woman in a leather jacket. You noticed the army lanyard around her neck. She was talking about an accident when you got distracted again. Lightly poking your eye with your finger, you tried to focus again, letting out a low sigh. And then the therapist was talking again.

"We have new faces today." He said and you felt your heart speed up. You absolutely did not want to talk in front of strangers. "Why don't you share with us, miss?"

You raised your gaze to meet that of the therapist, smiling gently at you. The rest of the group looked at you as well. Taking a deep breath, you began to wiggle your fingers on your leg.

"I don't... I've never been in a group." You say clumsily. "What should I say?"

"Whatever you wish to say." He answers with a smile. You swallow the urge to tell him you didn't want to talk at all. Realizing your lack of response, he is quick to add. "Why don't you tell us why you are here?."

You let out a dry laugh. 

"I really didn't have much choice." You retort wryly. The therapist looks slightly surprised, but makes no mention of interrupting you. You let out a sigh before clarifying. "My psychiatrist, she...she didn't approve of my social ratings. She wanted me to talk to other people. People who... went through the same things I did." You count staring at the floor. When you look up again, the group still waits for you to continue, and you sigh, running your hands through your hair. "I haven't... I... I haven't talked to other people outside of my family in six months. Not since..."

You move your head, sniffling slightly as you straighten your posture. The therapist clears his throat.

"You just need to share whatever you are ready to tell us." He says gently, you nod slightly feeling extremely vulnerable. "But remember that this is a safe space. There is nothing to fear here."

And then he is talking about methods of easing the guilt, and dealing with the pain and you were distracted again. You would like to go back to bed. It must have taken a while, but the session is finally over.

The group dispersed around the room, and you went toward the therapist's desk to have him sign your schedule. He smiled as you approached.

"Miss Y/N/L, I was happy to hear that you would be joining us today." He said greeting you with a handshake. You nodded, taking the paper from your pocket. He chuckled, but accepted it. "You know, I'd like you to try to have a partner in the group, it's recommended for cases like yours."

"What do you mean cases like me?" You ask snidely, but he doesn't care.

"Doctor Harkness gave me your chart." He explained as he signed the paper you gave him while you frowned. "Extreme Social Anxiety in the first few months of treatment. Tendency to complete isolation, introverted..."

"Yeah I know my problems, buddy." You interrupt him with irritation. "You don't have to list them for me."

The therapist gives a lopsided chuckle, and holds out the signed paper to you. But he adds with a serious look:

"I'm here to help you, Y/N." He says. "Don't forget that."

You don't respond and take the paper, turning toward the exit. 

//-//

Your week passes slowly and tortuously. Which is surprising because you barely get out of bed. And then it is group therapy day again, and you are making a new crack at your cell phone screen.

Your mother greets you with a pat on the back as you enter the kitchen, and she is walking past you toward her own room.

You know you have to take the subway today, and you are trying not to think about it too much. As you are walking out the door, your eyes pass quickly over your car key, and you think you have a flash of memory, but you shake your head quickly, pushing the thought away. And then you walk forward.

And you are late for the session, because you can't take the bus to the station, since your feet simply didn't obey you. But that's okay, you don't really care.

You weren't the only one who was late. When you went to enter the door, a red-haired woman bumped into you, also running to get in. She smiled slightly as she apologized, and you just made room for her to enter first.

"Sorry Stephen." She said to the therapist as soon as you two entered the gymnasium, "I had an emergency with the kids."

The man just shook his head with a smile, and waved for you both to sit down.

"And why were you late today, miss Y/L/N?" He asked you. You shrugged your shoulders.

"I didn't wanna come." You retorted and the group giggled, and the sudden sound startled you slightly, but you just sat with your arms crossed. 

"Do you want to try again?" He retorted with light humor in his voice. And you bit the inside of your cheeks. And then you looked down at the floor.

"I couldn't get on the bus." You confessed next. Stephen looked at you tenderly, though, and you didn't like the feeling of your chest heaving slightly.

"And why do you think that happened?"

You shrugged, uncomfortable. 

"I don't know. I... There were too many people." You said embarrassed. And then you started twiddling your fingers, feeling all eyes on you. "I just... I knew I'd have to say hello to the driver, and the conductor. And then I would pass strangers in the hallway, and one of them would sit next to me. And I just... I couldn't."

Stephen nodded slightly in agreement.

"It's okay, Y/N. " He stated. "No one is judging you here."

You let out a dry laugh, and Stephen blinks in surprise, which spurs you to explode.

"Everyone is judging me, Doc." You say through gritted teeth, swinging your leg. "It's as if I can hear the gears in people's brains forming opinions about me." You state with a sigh. "Like my mother for example. She...she...acts like I'm past the time of mourning." You explain with tears in your eyes. "Like there's a limit, and I'm extending her goodwill. Because it's been six months, and she doesn't want me to be sad anymore. But guess what? I don't know how to move on!" You state angrily. "I can't! If I don't miss her, what's left for me? If I don't... God, I can't do this."

And you stand up, wiping your tears away, and walk out of the gymnasium, heading for the restrooms. You feel your heart racing, and it's hard to breathe. 

As you rest your hands on the sink, your brain starts to wander back to the day of the accident again. You choke, because it feels like you're sinking again. You see the water rising through the metal of the car. Your hands on the steering wheel, and then on the seat belt. You shake your head, pushing the images away, and rush to turn on the faucet in front of you and pour the water on your face.

You take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. And then there is someone entering.

"Are you okay?" Stephen asks and you nod lightly, ignoring the trembling in your hands as you stare at him through the reflection of the mirror. "I gave a break to the group, wouldn't you like to walk with me?"

"I'm not good company right now." You grumble but he smiles, nodding slightly as if to repeat the invitation. You take a deep breath before turning around.

You walk silently and slowly to the outside of the gymnasium, and then he is speaking again.

"You were very brave today."  He comments, and you let out a dry laugh. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I panicked today." You say. " It doesn't sound very brave to me."

Stephen smiles guiding you through the gymnasium entrance toward the parking lot.

"You talked about a trauma to a group of people." He says. "That takes a lot of courage, even if you don't believe it."

"I don't believe in anything." You grumble, but Stephen doesn't mind your hostility. He stays with his friendly posture.

"I would like you to accept my request from before." He said after a moment. "About a group partner."

You let out a sigh.

"I don't even know what that means." You retort with slight impatience as you reach the edge of the parking lot. You notice the garden a few feet ahead of you.

"It's like a therapy buddy." He explains with a smile. "We encourage socializing here. That's why Agatha recommended this group to you."

"Oh, of course you do. Agatha is a bitch." You wryly wipe your hands across your face. Stephen laughs lightly. "How does that work anyway? Do I have to hold someone's hand? Exchange friendship bracelets?"

"No, it's much better." He says with a chuckle. "You talk to that person. You exchange experiences with them. You learn to trust somebody else again."

"My god, it looks like a fucking Disney movie." You retort with irritation and Stephen lets out a laugh. And then you let out a sigh, shrugging your shoulders. "Okay, I'll do it. I have nothing to lose, and it seems that neither you nor Agatha will leave me alone if I don't agree."

"We want you to feel better. Don't take this as a punishment." He says, guiding you back to the gym. You nod slightly, thinking that it really does feel like punishment anyway.

//-//

You see Agatha the same week. Your appointments have been switched to monthly meetings instead of weeks as they were at the beginning of treatment, and while you appreciate the familiarity of seeing her, you can't help but feel irritated with her.

"Someone's grumpy." She comments as soon as you sit down on the couch in the room, to which you roll your eyes.

"You are always so very tender, Agatha." You mock as you cross your legs, hoping the time will pass soon.

Agatha laughs lightly, finishing tidying up a few things on her desk. And then she gets up and sits down in the armchair a few feet in front of the sofa where you are, carrying a small notebook in her hands.

"So, why don't you tell me how your your first two sessions in group therapy went?"

You let out a dry laugh.

"Like Stephen didn't tell you everything." You sneer and Agatha just smiles, waiting for you to speak. You let out an impatient sigh, before stating wryly. "It was amazing, doc. It only took two sessions for me to have a panic attack, so thank you for that."

"Why do you think that happened?"

You squeezed your eyes.

"I have no idea." You retorted. "I'm not the doctor here." Agatha laughs lightly, and then opens her notebook and starts writing something. You sigh impatiently. “Really, you're going to start that again?”

"If you don't talk, I write." She states simply, and you roll your eyes, shifting on the couch uncomfortably.

"Agatha, I just... I couldn't get on a bus, okay?" you tell her, and she closes her notebook to look at you attentively. You take a deep breath. "There were a lot of people. I don't mind walking anyway. It helps me think."

"You don't mind walking eight blocks?" She asks with a slight irony. "That's pretty athletic of you."

"It's weird that you know my address off the top of your head." You play lightly, and she just laughs, straightening her posture. 

"Why don't you just tell me what you want to tell me?"

"Why don't you ask me what you want to ask?"

Agatha blinks slightly in surprise, and then she shakes her head slightly, opening her notebook again. You sigh.

"Okay, sorry." You say, and she looks at you for a moment before closing the object again. I... I thought I was drowning again.”

"Are your nightmares back?" She asks seriously, and you deny it with your head.

"I feel too anxious to sleep." You tell. "And then I black out from exhaustion in the night or in the morning. I don't dream anymore."

"Have you been taking your medication?"

You sigh.

"Of course I have."  You say. "I don't... I'm having trouble keeping my mind still. Like the first few months, you know. Everything seems so noisy now."

Agatha nods slightly, becoming thoughtful for a few moments. 

"I know it may sound strange to hear that, but that means you're getting better." She declares and you frown in surprise, then let out a dry laugh.

"How is my peak anxiety a good thing?"

She opens the book again, but before you can ask what you said wrong, she is reading.

"The first day you were here, you said you felt like you were empty." She narrated and you swallowed dryly. "During your first two months, you continued to describe that you felt like an empty shell. And that you no longer had any dreams, thoughts, or opinions. Without your wife, you said you were no longer here."

You felt your eyes fill with water at the mention of her. But you swallowed your emotions. Agatha turned a page, and read for a few seconds, and then looked at you.

"With your history of anxiety, your mind was remarkably quiet after the passing of your wife." She says. "But now that you're on medication, and therapeutic treatment, plus you're socializing even superficially with the world again, you're starting to feel things again. That's progress."

You look away from her, nodding slightly, trying to believe her words, and trying not to be so terrified at the thought of learning to live again. Without Nat.

You choke slightly, holding back a sob, and then Agatha hands you a box of tissues, but you refuse with a nod, wiping away the tears that have slightly escaped.

"What do you want to talk about now?" She asks after a moment. You take a deep breath, still trying to calm yourself.

"Last week I took a cold bath." You count. "It was snowing."

Agatha blinks in surprise at the information and then lets out a giggle.

"You want me to write it in the book don't you?"

You laugh, wiping away the last of the insistent tears. You just hope Agatha could help you.

//-//

You hate coffee. But you barely slept last night, and now you need to stay awake during the group meeting, so instead of walking to the chair in the corner like you used to, you detour your way to the food and beverage table as soon as you arrive at the gym.

There are a few members around, but you don't look at them, just sidestepping as you extend your arm to the coffee bottle. You pour some, and as you touch the cup, you notice. It's cold.

"Hey sorry about that." Said a girl you thought was named Val or something, as soon as she saw you touching the cup. "We mixed up the shifts yesterday and nobody made new coffee."

You rolled your eyes, picking up the cup and throwing it in the trash. Then you forced a wry smile on the girl and walked outside. 

It was cold, but you are boiling with rage. It was just a damn cup of coffee, you thought as you closed your eyes and tried to reduce your anger. Just coffee. 

You stumbled with fright when Stephen called out to you.

"We'll get started in a minute." He said looking at you curiously. You just nodded, following him after a few seconds.

You bit the inside of your cheek when you noticed the same coffee girl as before, now sitting where you usually sat. The universe was testing you today. 

You just sighed, twiddling your fingers inside your pocket, and walked over to one of the free chairs.

After Stephen gave the briefing, he asked if everyone was all right, and the group lied in unison. You were almost asleep when he called your name.

"I would like to choose your partner today." He says and you feel your heart racing as you straighten your posture. "But I want to know if you have any preferences."

You blink in confusion, and roll your eyes.

"I don't know anyone here, but I'm sure they will all hate me equally, doc." You tried to joke, but Stephen only looked at you with concern.

"No one does or will hate you." He says and you swallow dryly, looking away as you mumble that it was just a joke. Stephen pauses momentarily before continuing. "You know that everyone here has their own experiences of loss and they are unique in their own way, even if they have similarities." He begins and you just wish he would speak soon who your partner is at once. "Usually we don't put new members together, but with the release of one of our members, the number ended up getting odd." He explains. "Anyway, I'm sure you and Mrs. Maximoff will get along very well together."

You frowned slightly at the whole explanation. Then you looked around the group, and realized that this Maximoff woman was the late redhead from the previous session who looked at you curiously. You looked away from her to Stephen.

"Thank you, doc." You said with a slight irony and Stephen just nodded smiling.

"Partners are grieving companions ladies." He says. "We will assess your progress at each session, and then switch partners once the necessary improvement has been achieved."

You grumbled in understanding, and looked away to your lap. When Stephen began to ask about the stories, your mind wandered to the departure time.

And when the session was over you wished you could go to sleep. But Stephen made a slight movement of his head in Maximoff's direction, and you understood that you should talk to her.

Ignoring the urge to show Stephen the middle finger, you just sighed as you got up from your chair and lazily walked over to the woman at the exit. She was talking to a man, and you were even more anxious to address not one, but two strangers.

"Hi." You greeted awkwardly, and both of them turned to you with mild curiosity. 

"Hey, you're Y/N, right?" Said the man with a smile as he held out his hand to you. "I'm Bucky. James Barnes actually, but everyone calls me Bucky." He said and you shook his hand, smiling awkwardly. Then he quickly pointed at the woman.  "And this is Wanda Maximoff, your grief partner."

"Hi." Wanda said shyly as she offered her hand to greet you. You accepted as clumsily as she did.

"Sorry, I don't know how this works." You say. "Should we exchange numbers or something? Or is that just a therapy thing?"

Bucky gives a little chuckle.

"Oh believe me, they'll know if you're not making it work." He counters. "My first partner was Sam Wilson and we wanted to jump on each other's necks whenever we saw each other. And then Stephen asked us to move in together." He says and you blink in surprise. "We're married now, but that's not the point. I guess I'm getting off topic..."

"Bucky." Wanda interrupts with a smile, and he smiles half-heartedly as well. You frown, annoyed by Bucky's story. You didn't want to marry anyone. "I guess we'll make it work, I hope you don't mind having the company of two tiny restless creatures on our walks."

You look at her with confusion and then you understand, smiling shyly.

"No, it's okay." You say. "I like children."

"Really?" She asks in surprise.

You nod slightly. "Unlike adults, they tell the truth."

Wanda seemed to be thoughtful, but then Bucky lets out an exclamation.

"As group guide, I have to pass the to-do list to you ladies." He says pulling a small notebook from the back pocket of his pants. He pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it to Wanda. "Partners need to develop these habits of socializing and coping with grief together. And yes, there is a test."

You sigh impatiently, tucking a loose string behind your ear. 

"That sounds fun." You mock lightly making them smile. 

"Anyway, good luck to you two." He says tenderly. "And Wanda, call me if you need help with Tommy. I know a good therapist."

You frown slightly, not understanding what he is referring to, but you prefer to stay out of matters that are none of your business. And then Bucky kisses Wanda on the cheek in farewell and waves to you smiling before leaving. You switch foot weights when you are alone with Wanda. Talking to other people is not exactly your strong suit these past few months.

"So..." You start clumsily when she turns to you. 

"So." She repeats equally embarrassed. You then clear your throat and rush to pull your cell phone out of your pocket and hand it to her.

"Give me your number." You say. "That way we can arrange...whatever this is." 

Wanda smiles weakly as she accepts the device, and you ignore the curious look when she notices the cracks in the screen. A moment later she hands the cell phone back to you.

"I gotta go." She says. "I need to pick up my kids from school."

You nod slightly and force a smile to say goodbye, and Wanda copies your movement before leaving.

You stare at your cell phone next, noticing the slight anxiety in your stomach as you read the contact "Wanda Maximoff" on the screen.

//-//

By the weekend, you are miserable. Just like the first few months.

You spilled some tea under your bed, and when you went to clean it up, you ended up taking the objects that were lying there. And then you found a crumpled piece of paper.

It was your farewell speech. The words you wrote down to speak on the day of the funeral. The paper you pulled out of your pocket when you got home from the ceremony and probably fell under the bed when you collapsed on the floor from crying so hard.

Suddenly your chest tightened and you couldn't breathe. But you didn't want your mother to worry, so you concentrated on remembering the exercises your therapist had taught you.

And when the room started to get too small, you left.

But because it was cold and rainy, you had just taken a hot shower and had decided to brew tea before you finished putting on a sweater, you had bent down to pick up your socks, and the liquid fell on the floor. 

You went outside without your shoes, and your mother let out a worried exclamation when she saw you standing outside, staring at nothing.

"Honey?" She asked walking out the door after seeing you through the kitchen window. "Honey, what is it?"

You didn't answer. Your face was wet. Your mother's hands wrapped around your shoulders, and she gently pushed you inside, worried that you would end up getting hypothermia.

"I'm fine." You gasped as she led you inside, but she just shook her head. "I'm fine."

"No, honey." She retorted making you frown. "You're not."

"Mom."

"Sit down." 

And then there were blankets around you, and socks on your feet. And your mother was in the kitchen, on the phone, but everything seemed stuffy. You began to be absent again. Thousands of memories flashing through your eyes.

An image of yourself on that living room floor, laughing while your girlfriend had her arms wrapped around you. Your mother was pouring a glass of wine for each of you, and you were happy to tell her about your engagement.

Then an image of you running across the room, trying to dodge the tickles your father tickled you while you laughed.

Then a puppy in your hands on the floor. You looked at it fondly, laughing at how cute it looked. 

Looking down, you saw a hand on your thigh. It was your wife's, the ring on her finger. She smiled at you. You were happy because that was the day you told your mother about the house purchase.

You gasped slightly when you felt someone's hand on your shoulder suddenly.

"I need you to tell me three things you can see." It was Agatha. God, you should have been out of reaction long enough for her to get here. Wiping away your tears, you took a deep breath, trying to reason straight.

"I... I..." You started, but your brain didn't seem to obey you. You took another deep breath. You could see the carpet, so you told her so.

"Two more." Agatha asked tenderly, her hand caressing your back from top to bottom. 

"The... table." You replied crying. "I can see the table."

"That's right, honey." She said. "Just one more now. Tell me what else?"

"My feet." You add breathlessly. "I can see my feet."

"Now breathe with me, okay?" She asks. "Like I taught you."

The exercises help you to calm down again. You apologize for scaring your mother, and for making Agatha drive to your house, but neither of them is upset with you. You feel exhausted, but the doctor wants to talk to you after she accepts the cup of coffee your mother offers her.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asks as you sit on the covered porch, fluffy pillows around you.

You lower your gaze to the floor, sniffling lightly.

"I found my grief speech." You count. "Under my bed. The next minute I was outside."

Agatha sighs.

"You ready to talk about the accident."

You raise your eyes quickly, frowning, because it wasn't a question.

"W-what?"

She takes a deep breath, crossing her legs.

"It's suffocating you." She clarifies. "You need to talk or these attacks will happen again."

"I-I don't..."

"It won't be today." She interrupts with a tender smile. "Tonight you need to sleep. But we won't prolong this any longer. You need to talk about it, even if it’s only to scream."

Clenching your jaw, you hold back your tears as Agatha takes one last look at you before getting up. She murmurs that she will see you on Monday, but you don't look at her.

//-//

You don't sleep well on Sunday. And it's definitely because you can't stop thinking about your appointment.

And it goes well for the first twenty minutes. Agatha doesn't pressure you, and agrees to hear about your week, without mentioning the incident on Thursday.

There is a pause after you have told her about the dog barking noise in the early morning and then you know it is time to speak up.

"I was driving." You say softly suddenly, ignoring the feeling that your throat wants to close up. Agatha has her hands folded in her lap as she listens to you. "She...she was sleeping in the passenger seat." You swallow dryly, trying to count and not get caught up in the memory again, your heart racing. Talking is almost like going back there. "I looked at her for a moment and I got distracted... and then... we just..."

You only realize that you are crying because tears fall on your hand. You blink, sniffling. Taking a deep breath, you continue.

"We fell into the water, and Nat...she just...I couldn't get her belt off." You gasp breathlessly. "The water just...kept coming up around us. And she looked at me, and... she just shook her head like she knew what was going to happen." You tell between sobs. Agatha's eyes water, but she doesn't interrupt. "I just...she pushed me. She pushed my hands away and she told me she would follow me. And god... my dumb brain believed her!" You confess angrily. "She told me she was right behind me! And I swam out and when I came up she wasn't with me."

You shut up, not being able to tell anymore through the sobs. You can't even see the office clearly because of the tears.

It takes a moment for you to speak again, your head down.

"When I swam back, the car was completely covered with water everywhere" You recount. "I...I was going to dive again.... I wanted to get her out of there. But the people who saw the accident jumped in after us. And they pulled me out of the water. And I kept thinking that if I hadn't been distracted, she...she would be...."

"No." Agatha interrupts by offering you a tissue. "Natasha had a stomach injury, don't you remember?" She counters and you gasp, the words echoing in your brain. "That's why you couldn't remove the belt."

And then you were remembering clearly now.

Soft music echoed in the car as you hummed the tune and drove to your friends' house. Your wife mumbled softly beside you, making you smile as you watched the sleeping figure. The red hair in front of her face.

"Hey sleepyhead." You called softly, looking away from the track for a moment. "We're almost there."

Nat muttered in agreement. You bit your lip, thinking she looked beautiful. And then you heard a noise, and a white light in the window. You barely had time to frown when the impact threw your car off the road.

Your body tensed immediately as you sat up, looking around with desperation. The car was sinking fast and you turned to Nat.

A wound on her forehead was bleeding, and she was clearly disoriented as you touched her hands. You hurried to unbuckle her belt, but it was jammed tightly in her waist, and you gasped in shock at the wound.

"N-no." You grumbled, trying to move the metal, but Nat gasped in pain, pushing your hands away. You could barely breathe in desperation. Your feet were freezing, because the water was already at your ankles. "Babe, move please. We have to get out."

Nat advanced toward you, taking off your belt. You tried to touch her, but she pushed your hands away again, intending to guide you out.

" Sweetheart, go! Open the door! " she commanded and you shook your head, the water on your knees. Nat forced a smile, the tears in her eyes made your stomach turn. "Don't worry love. I'm right behind you."

As you opened the door, the water moved all the way into the car, and you held your breath Nat repeated the words "I'm right behind you" one more time. And then you swam out.

When you reached the surface, you were alone.

Sobbing, you couldn't say anything else to Agatha, and she proceeded to stroke your back, trying to soothe you with words of affirmation.

"I need you to remember some things honey." She says tenderly. "You couldn't have helped Natasha. She got stuck. You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened." Agatha whispers to you, and you sob. "Remember the investigation, okay? The police said that the driver of the truck was drunk and hit your car after he fell asleep. It wasn't your fault." Agatha says trying to remind you. You gasp, countless memories flooding your head at once. "Say that for me, will you?" She asks and you gasp. "Tell me it wasn't your fault."

You sob, burying your face in your hands. It takes a moment, but you repeat the words.

"It wasn't my fault." You whisper breathlessly. "It...it wasn't my fault."

When you leave therapy that day, you feel different.

You think that it is the healing process that is beginning to work. You still have a long way to go, but you have the feeling that a weight has been lifted off your back, because you have started to believe your own words. You could not have saved Natasha.

There is still a deep sadness in you, but you still buy your favorite drink on the way home, and try to stay in the living room for a few hours before going to your room when you are inside.

[kaunis-sielu]

Fire Dogs: End

The trip out to New York is uneventful. You sleep in the car occasionally but you do stop at a couple of hotels you never sleep super well. Besides there’s something about being in a car with your Alpha that just soothes you to sleep. You wake at one point and hear him talking softly on the phone.

“Nat, I don’t want a big party. It’s going to stress her out and she’s probably going to be close to a heat so I don’t want a ton of people around. Just you, Clint, Wanda, Carol and Jarvis.”

“Everyone is so excited though.”

“They’re going to have to wait. Her well-being is my first concern.”

“Steve,”

“Natasha.” He warns lowly and you hear her sigh.

“Fine. Fine. I’ve got a few places lined up for you to look at as well as a property so if building your own place is more appealing you can do that. I don’t know how sensitive your Omega’s nose is.”

“I doubt she does either. We’re about four hours out. Thanks for doing all of this Nat.”

“I’m glad you finally found someone worthy of you Alpha.” You don’t love that she calls him Alpha, so you take a deep breath so Steve knows that you’re awake.

“Thank you Natasha. See you soon.”

“Bye.” She says and Steve hangs up.

“How much did you hear?”

“Her call you Alpha.” You admit grumpily and he laughs softly.

“Are you a little jealous?” When you grumble in response he sobers up, “They all do that Omega, not just Natasha. It’s a respect thing.”

“It was jarring. You’re my Alpha.”

“I know, I’m sorry I should’ve warned you.” He soothes, his hand is warm on your thigh when he reaches over. You trace the back of his hand with one of your fingers.

“How close are we?”

“About 4 hours, you need to stop?”

“No, I was just curious. I’m nervous too, I’m meeting your pack.”

“You’re only meeting a couple today. The rest will trickle in when you’re ready, take as long as you need.”

“Okay, thank you.”

The rest of the ride is spent in comfortable conversation and singing along to the radio. He puts you at such ease that you forget to be anxious, at least until Steve pulls off of the freeway.

“Take a breath Honey, it’s going to be fine.” He promises and you cling to his hand as he drives for a couple more minutes then pulls up to a little house. “Let me know when you’re ready to go in.”

“Can, god this is so stupid, can you calm me?”

“Oh Honey I can absolutely do that. C’mere.” He mutters before kissing you softly, his hands cup your face and you feel the sense of calm wash over you. He pulls away from you then kisses along your jaw, before covering your mouth once more. “How do you feel Omega?” He murmurs softly and you hum lowly.

“Good.”

“Ready?”

“Yes, as I will ever be.” His calm makes you feel a little drowsy but it’s better than the panic you could be in. Steve gets out of the car and you follow him, Cooper waits patiently in the back to be let out. You take his leash and he walks calmly next to you, Steve meets you at the front of the car. He takes your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze,

“I don’t think anyone is here yet.” Sure enough when he unlocks the door the house is empty.

“Oh god it smells good in here.” You mutter softly, “Can I let Cooper wander?”

“It’s your house too now Honey. You don’t have to ask.” You unhook Cooper’s leash and he wanders around the living room. “You look good in here, you belong here.”

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Steve.” You tell him giving him a tight hug.

“Oh Honey.” He says gently before kissing your cheek. “Wanna see the house?” You nod and he leads you through the house showing you where things are. The doorbell rings and you tense up and the calm washes over you again as Steve presses a kiss to the side of your head. Cooper barks and you can’t help but smile at the familiarity of it all.

“Thanks Steve.” You follow him downstairs and when the door opens it’s just Sam and Bucky and a pretty blonde woman who you assume is Carol.

“Had to fight Becca to get her to stay home.” Bucky says with a punch to Steve’s arm, “thought she was gonna scream me to death when I told her ‘bout your Omega.” Carol gives you a kind smile as she follows Sam into the house, she smells like Oranges and chocolate.

“Wish she would’ve screamed you to death. Then we wouldn’t have to listen to your dumb ass anymore.” Sam says lowly.

“I see the two of you have had enough time together.” Carol says with a laugh, “Hi Fawn, I’m Carol. Sam’s much, much better half.” She doesn’t try to shake your hand or touch you in anyway which you appreciate.

“Hi, thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for spoiling Sam, he says you’re one hell of a cook.” She says kindly, “We live right next door so when the boys are at work feel free to call if you need anything.” She puts a business card down on the end table then drops down onto Sam’s lap.

Next comes a young woman with auburn hair and a tall man with purple hair. Steve introduces them as Wanda, an Alpha and Viz, a Beta. They’re one of the newer pairs in Steve’s pack but it seems like everyone was just kind of waiting for it to happen. Wanda is a calm in the storm that is the three other Alpha’s currently wresting for control of the remote on your couch.

“Enough.” Steve growls at the three of them as their scents spike and you bury your face into his chest.

Natasha and Clint come next, Nat is the one that you’d heard on the phone earlier and when you see her that little possessiveness rears it’s head. She’s beautiful. “Omega.” Steve rumbles into your ear and you feel so silly for being jealous of her using his title.

“You didn’t do her justice Rogers.” She says giving you a kind smile, one you tightly return. She and Clint are both Betas, she’s more smoky smelling and he’s more earthy but both are pleasant. She calls Steve Alpha once but he quickly pulls her aside and after they talk quietly she doesn’t do it again. Overall the night is a success, and you go to bed happy.

The next day is spent looking at different houses they’re about thirty minutes outside of the city. The first neither of you is thrilled with, the second doesn’t have a yard for Cooper, the third is off a busy street and smells terrible but when you pull up to the plot of land it all clicks.

“Would you be mad if I said I wanted to build?” You ask Steve as you stand at the top of the hill the property is on. The view here is incredible overlooking a river and some woods below you.

“Not at all.” He assures you, a hand on the small of your back, “whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“It’s going to be so expensive.”

“That’s okay. I’m independently wealthy.” You stare up at him for a second to see if his kidding,

“I’m sorry what?”

“Old money. If you didn’t want to you’d never have to do another book again.”

“Why are you a firefighter?”

“I like serving the community, and I’m good at it.” You stare at him for a moment longer then look back out over the property.

“This feels right doesn’t it?”

“Yea Honey it does.” He agrees, so you sign some paperwork and buy the plot of land. You want to get building started before your heat hits and you smell like an Omega and you do so just in time. Apparently Clint runs a very successful construction firm so you get the layout of the house done in two days.

When you wake on the third day you know you’re in your heat. You wake up feeling just as tired as you did yesterday and everything smells so bad except Steve. He goes to get up and you whimper softly, and he freezes as you reach out to him.

“Honey are you in heat?”

“I think so. It’s been so long since I’ve had an actual heat.”

“Do you want to talk to one of our Omegas?”

“You actually have those?” He huffs out a chuckle.

“Yea, not many but we do. Becca is one.” A cramp hits and you gasp in surprise. Steve reaches for his phone and you grab onto his arm.

“No, I just need you Steve.”

“Omega are you sure?”

“Yes, please Steve. I wanted to be sure that without my suppressants you were still my Alpha. You are. Please.” He rolls so that he’s on top of you, his knees between yours an arm on either side of your head and his scent all around you. “You smell so good Steve.”

“So do you Omega.” He grumbles he’s about to kiss you when his phone rings. You both groan loudly before he rolls off of you and grabs it.

“What?” Someone on the other end talks, “No, my Omega is in heat.” He says before hanging up. The phone rings again before he even puts it down so he stalks to the window, opens it and throws the phone outside.

“You know there is such thing as a power button.”

“I was going to smash it so I feel like I should get some credit for my self control.” He says stalking back toward you. This time his mouth finds yours before he’s settled back over you, his dog tags hit your chest and you cling to them keeping him close to you. Steve kisses down your jaw to your pulse point then down to your scent gland.

“Do it.” You whisper, “please.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” You’ve never been more sure about anything in your life. You feel his breath on your scent gland and you take a slow breath, then he bites. The pain and pleasure are so overwhelming that you black out. When you come to Steve is still placing soft kisses to your face.

“Omega. You back?”

“That was- indescribable. Thank you Alpha.”

“Careful Honey or you’re going to trigger my rut and then I won’t be able to spoil you.”

“I don’t need to be spoiled.”

“Too damn bad Honey. You’re going to be for the rest of your life. Now, I’m gonna go make some breakfast Becca always said day two was the harder day so I want to make sure you’re up to strength.” He goes to get up but you’ve still got a grip on his dog tags. “Omega.”

“You don’t wanna? I mean I thought-“

“Oh Omega I want you, terribly, but I don’t want to wear you out for tomorrow. From what I remember day one is for lots of sleep and comfort, day two is for sex and day three is for more sleep and comfort. Do you want me to have Bucky come take Cooper?”

“Yea. But you’ll have to go get your phone.”

“Damn it.” He grumbles but he gets to his feet, grabs the shirt he was wearing before bed and passes it to you before getting a clean one for himself. You pull his shirt on and sigh happily brushing your fingers gently over his mark. Steve glances over at you and gives you a small smile then holds a hand out for yours. “Wanna come with me to the kitchen? I can kiss ya some more while we cook.” You nod and climb out of bed with a wide smile taking the hand he offers, you’ll gladly go wherever he goes for rest of your life.

Tag list:

@memyselfandmaddox @thefanficfaerie @patzammit @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @killcomet @thesassmisstress @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @dumblani @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @giggleberts @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @connie326 @inkedaztec @eralen @valsworldofcreativity @strangersstranger @blackwidownat2814 @sky0401 @winterbuckystan1917 @dontbescaredtosingalong

[softkuna]

Toji Fushiguro || Toy || Fic

The Sukuna one had me like ✨✨✨ Now I must ask, can you- a toji x fem reader and him seeing Gojo eyeing up what's his and her responding to it and then toji being like oh hell no and basically railing her as punishment (degrading kink please it makes me jello) you don't have to write it if your not comfortable btw take your time and stay safe.

Content   ║ Toji Fushiguro x Fem Insert. Toji’s shoulder pressed into the wall with such a force the damn thing could’ve dented. Arms crossed tensely against the broad puff of his chest. His teeth ground together, the sound of squeaking canines reverberating in his mind.  Toji was seething. For a man with the physical prowess of a god, his tolerance was about as thin as a wet napkin. A wet napkin this woman decided to poke a well-manicured finger into.

Count      ║ 1,311 words.

Consider ║ NSFW. Degradation Kink. Objectification. Female Insert (she/her). Alcohol. Grammar issues. Basic degeneracy.

Creator    ║ So this is the first NSFW thing I have done like this ;v;. I’m not sure if this hit the mark for ya Anon, but hopefully it’ll do until I can get some more practice. It took a little while since I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing. Honestly this just feels subpar gomen. Enjoy jealous Toji, though -finger guns-.

The club was barely lit with black light and neon strewn about the solid concrete walls in seemingly random intervals. A particularly bright hot pink one cast across her collarbone, dowsing the tops of her breasts deliciously in contrast to the black latex dress. As much as Toji would like to shove her against that very wall, she had a job to do. For him. And he regretted it.

  She was pushing her luck when she approached the table with a certain sway to her hips. Gojou peered around the tinted sunglasses, brow piqued in interest. She flashed a smile, smoothly setting a large bottle of some random high percentage alcohol onto the table. Sliding into the booth next to Satoru, the woman leaned a hand on his leg, the other moving to playfully snap the strap of a birthday hat under his chin, “I hear it’s someone’s birthday?”

  His head tilted up along with the corners of his lips, “Guilty as charged. Are you my present, doll? Always heard the hostesses here were the best,” His voice purred against the thrum of the bass. She tucked hair behind her ear, eyes flickering back to the ravenette with a dangerous composition. The corner of her mouth twitched up at the obvious frustration resonating in the man. He couldn’t touch her. Couldn’t even dream of it if he wanted any semblance of information on this guy. It was the perfect opportunity to test a theory. Toji was the jealous type.

  Toji’s shoulder pressed into the wall with such a force the damn thing could’ve dented. Arms crossed tensely against the broad puff of his chest. His teeth ground together, the sound of squeaking canines reverberating in his mind.  Toji was seething. For a man with the physical prowess of a god, his tolerance was about as thin as a wet napkin. A wet napkin this woman decided to poke a well-manicured finger into.

  He slammed down a shot, the burn at the back of his throat accompanying the burn of his own gaze. She wasn’t anything to him aside from an in. Yet somehow, the not-so-shaman made it a point to speak with her at least once a week, which usually lead into fucking her like a play thing. The lay was just as good as the information she could pry out of loose mouths. Immaculate. This go around, he needed information on someone in particular. Someone who just so happened to be here with a group. Someone who decided it would be a good idea to get a little handsy with his toy.

  “Y’know,” Satoru murmured, “’s pretty sad to be alone in bed for my birthday.” Chilled pads of his fingers rested at the back of her neck. His gaze was hungry and she was a full course meal. Just his type. Perfect shape, perfect charm, perfect headrush. Her hand cupped his ear, whispering something his buzzing mind couldn’t fully piece together against the dense music.  

  She kept up the sweet act despite not getting a lick of information. The only dirt she dug up was that he could finish half a handle before getting buzzed. By the end of the night, Gojou’s hands squeezed at her thigh like he did her last string of patience.  

  The last thing Toji saw was the exchange of cards.

  -

  As the black-clad hostess passed by Toji, her hand trailed along the muscles of his chest, stiletto nails pressing just slightly into him. He followed close behind until they got to their regular spot. A private room tucked into the corner of the club. Commonly used for rich men thirsting to empty their wallets on a good lap dance. It was sound proofed, dimly lit, and somehow hot pink velvet was a prime design choice to set a steamy mood.

  She crossed her arms, gaze hard as the door shut, “So, I’ve got bad new. He didn’t let a word slip-“ The sentence stopped as soon as it began.

  “So doll’s got a sense of humor, huh?” His voice held an edge to match the snide smirk flashing over pointed canines. She knew exactly what was up and oh was it a dangerously delectable sight. One that made her cunt throb on nothing but adrenaline. The crease of his brow, the way his lips set into that hairpin curl, the tensing of each thick muscle along his arm – all of it leaving a sense of satisfaction in the pit of her stomach. Theory confirmed. He took a step closer; she didn’t shrink away. A lost challenge if he’d say so himself.

  A large calloused hand shoved her onto cushions of the booth, catching her open mouth in his own with a bruising force. The man wasted no time with his prodding tongue, tasting the sweetness of peppermint and lapping it up while fending off her own slick muscle.  A hand snaked into the roots of her perfectly done hair, white-knuckling just at the base of the skull. With a sharp yank, her head was yanked back, allowing break for air. Smug and breathless, she chimed, “Jealous?”

  Toji blew air out in a single blackened laugh, “I’m not one to share my toys.” Teeth connected to her lips, rolling the flesh then moving to her throat. Purple marked his territory trailing down. The heat of his breath tickled the space directly next to her ear, “Now, you’re going to beg for me to forgive you. Make myself clear, slut?” Toji’s grip on her tightened, “Or is doll better for something getting used?” A rough tug to the back of her hair triggered a low moan from her heaving chest. After so many sessions, she knew he didn’t really want an answer. He wanted a reason go harder.  

  The hand once in her hair now gripped her jaw, keeping her gaze on him, “Answer me, toy. Or do I need to pull a string to make that cock-obsessed mouth move?” On que, free digits wrapped around the gusset of her thong, second knuckle just grazing the entrance of her heat before he pulled the sodden fabric taught, letting it snap back to place. The impact triggered another empty clench and gasp. Her hips writhed, a sappy pout puffing the bitten lips. More.

  Toji maintained her heavy-lidded stare as he brought the knuckle to his lips. He watched as her own parted when his tongue swept up the sweetness collected at the joint. The way her hips rose to match the zipper’s height, the lock of her teeth on her finger, the desperation in her eyes – all of it made his stiffened cock twitch against her adorably hopeless grinding, “Looks like my toy is broken. Guess I’ll just fuck the apology out of it then.”

  A wicked grin whipped onto his handsome face. Her mouth opened in rebuttal, only to get interrupted, “This is to teach a lesson, toy. What did you do to deserve the prep?” The gravel in his tone grew slightly dark, “Couldn’t even get the dirt I paid for.” His long digits did work past the gusset, slipping over her entrance, gathering the arousal, “Look how wet you already are for me.” A heated coil pressed in her at the words. She knew what was coming now and every inch of her craved it.

  In what seemed to be a single motion, jeans and boxers were torn down. Her dress was hiked up with a satisfying peel, thong quite literally ripped off and thrown to the ground before she was flipped so that her back was pressed against his chest. Sturdy, veined arms wrapped at the backs of her thighs and under her knees. Truly, she was a doll for him to pleasure himself on and he made it a point to do so.

  Toji lowered her so that the thick tip of his length pressed against her heart-beating heart. Her walls fluttered around him as he slid in. “For a broken toy, you’re pretty damn tight for me - ready to be played with. Get used- fuck.” Amusement broke through as she bit back a breathless sigh. His cock filled her easily, slick sliding down his shaft and pooling at the base. As he fully sheathed himself, he craned his neck forward, lips pressing at the shell of her ear, “Now, I want to hear you beg, bitch.” With that, the man snaked back and up, setting a relentless pace from the beginning. The sound of skin slamming into wettened skin filling the room along with the aroma of arousal.

  She was stubborn. He was tireless. They’d both cum before the apology even had a chance to.

[avengerscompound]

Small Gods: Patience - 1

Patience:  A Black Widow Fanfic

Patience Masterlist | More Small Gods

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Rating: E

Word Count:  1611

Warnings: Language, guns, (smut, angst, and canon typical violence on series)

Synopsis: Every day Natasha prays for more patience to deal with a litany of things from waiting for her target to make a move - to not yelling at Clint for putting empty milk containers back in the fridge.

When her prayers are answered, Natasha finds that having patience is easy, holding on to it is a little harder.

A/N: Reader is a minor god.

IF YOU WISH TO BE TAGGED IN THE REMAINDER OF THIS SERIES, EITHER ADD YOURSELF TO THE TAGLIST OR SEND ME A MESSAGE

Chapter 1

Natasha stood on the edge of the building watching the chaos break out below her.  The team was supposed to be infiltrating a new underground crime group to figure out where a drop-off was happening.  They’d had men on a street corner no one had managed to clock, and it had just happened to be the one Steve was observing, and they’d spotted him.  That had made the whole crew antsy and then they’d wanted to change locations for the meet.  That had meant a sudden scramble to relocate everyone, so they could keep monitoring the situation.  Tony had nearly been spotted as they did and ended up having to leave the area completely so it looked like another normal New York City Iron Man sighting.  To top that off, Sharon’s comms had just stopped working completely and so no one had any idea what the group was actually saying.  It had been a series of fuck-ups and she knew she would have to get down into the mess soon the way things were going, but she was waiting to see if Clint could salvage it as he bumbled along the street acting stupid so that he could ‘accidentally bumped into his old friends Sharon’ and get some ears back on the scene.

“God, grant me patience,” she sighed.  It was a prayer that had become commonplace for her.  She’d use it when she was on an undercover mission where she had to pretend to be much less intelligent than she was.  She used it when she helped patch up Clint’s cuts after he’d spent a whole day being incredibly agile and dexterous, only to trip over his doormat and land face-first into a cactus he didn’t even know he owned.  She used it when Tony went on one of his rambling stories that she already knew.  She used it when she had to watch Steve jump off yet another stupidly high point for no reason other than he had to be their first.

“I’m not sure, Natalia,” a voice coming from way too closer said.  “I’m not sure that’s what you actually want.”

She spun around, quickly assuming a defensive position.  You stood at the corner of the building, completely relaxed.  You had dark sunglasses on and what looked like a faux leather jacket and large black boots.  You were leaning against the wall slightly and twirling a lollipop in your mouth, and despite the fact that on just about anyone else she’d think they were trying too hard, you seemed effortlessly cool.

“Who are you?”  Natasha snarled.

“Patience,” you said simply.

“Don’t tell me to be patient when you’ve just snuck up on me in the middle of a mission.  Tell me what you want, or I’ll send that piece of candy through the back of your throat.”

You laughed and held up your hands. “Okay, killer,” you teased.  “Relax.  I wasn’t telling you what to do.  I was saying that’s who I am.”

Natasha quirked her eyebrow at you.  “So your name is Patience, and you sit around waiting for people to pray for patience and you pop out thinking it’s a funny joke?  You know how close to death you just came right now?  I’m in the middle of something.  Go away before you get someone hurt.”

Natasha spun back to look down at Sharon who was now talking to Clint.  She saw the quick sleight of hand as they exchanged mic packs.

“Patience isn’t my name,” you laughed.

Natasha rolled her eyes, hoping to cling on to the last remaining patience she had rather than breaking your neck. That would just lead to a lot of paperwork.  “You said it was.”

“No,” you said, straightening up and reaching into your inner jacket pocket.

Natasha pulled her gun and pointed at you.  “Don’t even think about it.”

You pulled your hand out with a business card pinched between your thumb and index finger.  You raised your hands and flicked the card up so it was held between your index and middle finger.  “I said I was patience,” you said, taking a few steps toward her.  Natasha’s fingers twitched on the trigger finger as she tried to read your intention.  “You’ve been praying to me a lot lately.  I thought I’d show up.  But - you’re obviously not ready yet.”  You offered the card to Natasha and she took it without taking her eyes off you.  “Now… count to two hundred, and then go down the fire escape.  Agent Carter will be fine until then, and that will get you there exactly when you need to be.”

“What?”  Natasha asked, now completely confused.

“Just a suggestion,” you answered and casually strode off to the stairwell, leaving Natasha alone on the roof, completely perplexed over what had just happened.  She looked down at the business card.  Embossed in gold on the glossy black card were your name, address, and phone number.  There was no mention of a job or business or even the word patience that you had kept bringing up.

Natasha furrowed her brow and tucked the card into her pocket.  She wasn’t a trusting person by nature, but she had enough experience with magic to know not to completely ignore what you said.  She counted to two hundred as she paid close attention to what was happening in the street.  As she carefully made her way down to the fire escape, there was a commotion and Sharon drew her gun.  People scattered as a large van pulled up and armed men spilled out.

Natasha cursed under her breath as the street broke out in utter chaos.

“How did you even get there so fast?”  Sharon asked.

Thanks to your warning, Natasha had gotten there at the perfect time to take out most of the gunmen before they’d even shouldered their weapons.  In the end, while the plan hadn’t exactly gone how everyone had wanted it, and they still needed to actually find where they were operating from, they had made a lot of arrests, and thanks to Natasha, lots of innocent lives had been saved from being caught in the crossfire.

“There was this woman…”  Natasha started, not quite sure how to explain your strange appearance and departure from the rooftop.

“Oohhh…” Clint teased.  “Nat got the hots for some hot Chiquita.”

“Gross, Clint,” Natasha snarked.  “Don’t be a letch.”  Clint held up his hands in surrender and Natasha let out a long breath.  “It was weird though.”

“How was it weird?”  Steve said, sitting forward in his chair.  “Anything we need to worry about?”

Natasha shrugged.  “I don’t know - maybe,” she said.  “She said she was patience.”

Clint snorted.  “You definitely need to find her then,” he teased. Natasha swatted him on the back of the head.  “See,” he complained, rubbing his head.

“So her name was Patience?”  Steve said, opening up a drop-down screen above the coffee table.  “FRIDAY, do we have any record of a Patience as a member of any known criminal organizations.”

“Her name wasn’t Patience,” Natasha said, pulling the card out of her pocket and handing it to Steve.  “She said she was patience.”

“What does that mean?”  Steve asked, typing the details into the computer.

Natasha shrugged.  “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Tony chuckled.  “I like the idea of anthropomorphic adjectives walking around.”

“Patience is a noun, Tony,” Bruce scolded.  “And so is Tony.”

“You know what I mean,” Tony said, waving his hands around.  “You can feel patient, you can’t feel Tony.”  He paused for a moment.  “Not unless you asked nicely.”

“Maybe she’s some kind of god,” Clint said.  Everyone turned to him and Natasha raised her eyebrow.  Sometimes Clint would say things that were so simple and so profoundly intelligent that she wasn’t sure if he just blindly stumbled into the answer or he was an actual genius.

“Is that a thing?”  Sam asked.  “Just random gods of emotions?”

Natasha shrugged.  “I have no idea.  It’s a pity Thor isn’t here, we could ask him.  But she did say I’d been praying to her.”

Clint snorted.  “Sounds about right.”

“But Thor’s not a real god, is he?”  Steve said.  “Wasn’t the theory that he’s just an alien that lives a long time and humans just decided he was a god?”

“The dude makes lightning, Cap,” Sam teased.  “Maybe he’s not the only place it comes from, but he can definitely create it and control it.  Why can’t there be the equivalent for something like patience.”

Clint snatched the card from Steve and shoved it into Natasha’s hands.  “I say you call her.”

“You just want Nat to stop smacking you on the back of the head,” Bucky snorted.

“No, I want to see my best friend get laid,” Clint said, folding his arms across his broad chest.  “I bet someone who can command patience would be great at sex.”

“And…?”  Bucky pressed.

“And I don’t want to get clocked on the back of the head anymore,” Clint muttered.

Everyone laughed and Natasha looked down at the card, spinning it around in her hand.

“You look like you’re considering it, Red,” Tony mused.  “What was she like?”

“Cryptic,” Natasha replied.  “Cool.”

“Was she hot?”  Clint asked.

“I think so,” Natasha said.

“So call her,” Sharon shrugged.  “She helped me out.  She can’t be all that bad.”

Natasha nodded.  “At the very least I might get some answers.”

“And who knows, Nat,” Clint said.  “Maybe she’ll be able to teach you a trick or two.”

Natasha bit the inside of her cheek trying not to laugh, and wishing she had a little bit of that patience right now.

// NEXT

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter 22 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

helloooooo besties and happy Saturday! 

Read previous chapters of this fic here! 

contains: canon-typical descriptions of violence and death

wordcount: 1.9k 

You're passing the diamond on your chain between your fingers anxiously a few days later as you and Spencer pour over a map on the jet. You’re headed to Colorado after a family annihilator had struck twice in the same small Denver suburb. The whole town was on alert, and you needed to solve this one fast before the whole state devolved into hysteria. Hotch decided on the jet to send you, Reid and JJ to the precinct-- you and Reid will keep working on the geographic profile, and JJ will coordinate local law enforcement. He, Morgan and Emily are headed to the neighborhood to see if any of the locals had noticed anything off. 

“There has to be a connection to this specific suburb. Why come ten miles outside of Denver when the city, or even a closer suburb, would be a more target-rich environment?” You floated an idea past Spencer, who nodded in agreement. 

“You think he sought out these families in particular?” He asked, turning his attention to the pictures on the whiteboard. 

“Not necessarily. Garcia’s still looking for a connection between the families, but so far she hasn’t found one. I think these two families were practice for something worse, or for a family that matters more to him.” You conclude, hoping more than ever that you had profiled wrong. 

“If that’s the case, our presence here might trigger the unsub to escalate,” he points out with a grimace. 

“Or, hopefully, it will send him into hiding.” 

“We’ll never find him if he does that.” 

“We’re gonna have to.” You sigh, pulling your attention back towards the map. You pour over it, certain that if you look just a little closer, the answer will jump out at you, but it doesn’t. 

Geographic profiles are always helpful, and you and Spencer were great at them, but they rarely solved cases on their own. The reality of the situation is that without any info on the unsub or the connection between the victims, you were essentially trying to create something out of nothing. You push your chair out from the table, deciding to give your mind and your eyes a break, when your phone starts to ring. It’s Garcia.

“Oh, you’re just my favorite person.” You said into the phone by way of greeting, hoping that she’s going to present you with the missing piece that will make all of these seemingly unrelated pieces of information make sense together.

“Careful, peach! There’s someone else on the line who might object to that,” Garcia warns you. 

“What do you have for us, Penelope?” Aaron asks.

“So, the Sutton and Mack families have more in common than we thought-- not so much socioeconomically, but their kids were both enrolled at the local high school, although different ages, and the moms were on the PTA together.” 

“Were they friends? The kids, or the moms for that matter?” You ask immediately. 

“It doesn’t really look like it, but I’m going to keep digging,” she tells you. 

“And no connection between the fathers?” Hotch asks.

“Nope, Mr. Sutton was an attorney and Mr. Mack was a cab driver. Doesn’t seem like they ever would have met.” She tells you both. 

“Garcia, do me a favor and make sure Mr. Sutton wasn’t in Mr. Mack’s cab within the last month or so. Let us know when you have more.”

“Oh, sir, before you both go, there’s one more thing.” She blurts out before Aaron can hang up the phone.  “It’s about Josh.” 

You take a sharp breath in, and Spencer’s in tune to you immediately, his head jerking up from the maps, looking you over to make sure you’re okay. 

“What is it?” Hotch asks, sounding every bit as tense as you feel. 

“Josh was arrested this morning. Busted for possession during a traffic stop,” She tells you and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“That’s… that’s great news.” You say.

“I thought you’d both like to know.” Garcia tells you.

“Anything else?” Hotch asks, and you're perplexed by his lack of response to such a good update. 

“No, that’s all for now. I’ll call you back as soon as I have more on the case.” She says, and the line clicks.

“What was that about?” Spencer asks, bringing you back to reality, and you share the info from Garcia about the victims. You can tell that he knows that there’s more, but he doesn’t press and you don’t offer. 

“If both the kids and the moms knew each other, we could be looking at a bullied kid or a woman scorned.” You theorize. 

“A woman wouldn’t kill the kids, at least not a mother. And if the woman wasn’t from the PTA, why target these moms in particular?” Spencer argues, and you agree. 

“Could be a man, too. Maybe he’s jealous that he doesn’t have the picture-perfect family he’s destroying.”

‘That’s more likely. Although with nothing connecting two husbands, we’ll have a hard time profiling a man if that’s the case.”

“Okay, so for now we focus on the kids until we find something that pulls us another way. You want to take the Macks and I’ll work on the Suttons?” 

“Will do.”    

You work in silence for a couple more hours until Hotch, Morgan and Emily return. 

“Anything helpful?” JJ asks, coming into the room behind them. 

“The moms were friendly, but not necessarily friends. The kids mostly hung out in separate social circles, it seems.” Morgan informs you all. 

“Any obvious power imbalances between the kids groups, or bullying?” You asked. 

“None that any of the kids we interviewed brought up.” Emily tells you. 

“None of the moms mentioned it either-- and they’d be more likely to bring it up than the kids would.” Aaron tells you. 

“So we’ve got a whole lot of nothing.” JJ concludes, and you sigh. 

You all continue to work for a few more hours-- putting together profiles of each of the members of the families that ultimately bring you no closer to finding the unsub. 

“We’ll be back here first thing tomorrow morning-- there’s nothing else we can do tonight.” Hotch concludes as he pins the last index card to the cork board. “Let’s head to the hotel and get some rest.” 

Despite the exhaustion that has soaked its way deep into your bones, you and the rest of the team pull yourselves out of your chairs and towards the SUVs. You nearly sink into the leather, and if he wasn’t such a stark professional, you might have asked him to carry you up to your hotel room.  He did, however, offer you a very gentlemanly hand to help you out of the car, and wrap his arm around your waist as the two of you trudged your way into the elevator and down the hall towards your room. You collapse onto the mattress as soon as you make it through the door, and Aaron chuckles at you, taking a moment to brush his teeth and change. When he settles on top of the covers next to you, you speak up, although hadn’t really intended to do so.

“Aaron, can I ask you something?” 

“You can ask me anything, my love,” Aaron mumbles like it’s the easiest thing in the world as he leans over to set the hotel alarm clock that sits on the bedside table. 

“When Garcia told us that Josh was arrested… you didn’t seem happy.” You said, decidedly not a question. He answers you anyway, shifting towards you to look you in the eye before he speaks up. 

“I’m sorry honey. I’m relieved, of course I am. I was just focused on the case this morning. Maybe I haven’t fully processed it yet,” he confesses. “But of course I’m happy for you. I would have been happier to arrest him myself, but this is just as well.” He tells you with a rueful smirk. 

He’s lying, and you can see it in his face. Maybe lying is a strong word, but there is definitely more to it than he’s telling you. “You’re sure? There’s nothing else that’s bothering you?” You pushed, but he shook his head, looking down at his lap.

“I’m sure, doll. I really am happy. We’ll take Jack out when we get home to celebrate.” He tells you, leaning over to kiss your temple. 

“Maybe a bike ride and some ice cream? I haven’t been out on the bike with him since he got his training wheels off.” You suggested. 

“Sounds perfect,” he tells you, reaching to kiss you again and moving to wrap his arms around you, which you dodged. 

“Get the bed nice and toasty for me while I change,” you smirked, rolling off the mattress and heading towards your suitcase for some pajamas.

You were back at the police station before the sun rose the next morning, pouring over the transcripts of what had come in from the tip line the night before in the hopes that you might find something useful. Your desk looked the same way it used to when you were studying for exams in the academy-- papers and highlighters scattered everywhere, color coordinated page flags littering all of your documents. 

“Cupcake, if I didn’t know any better, I might think you were the serial killer,” Morgan comments with a smirk, setting a hot cup of coffee in a relatively-unoccupied patch of desk. 

“Very funny, Derek.” you rolled your eyes. “I’m only letting you live because you brought me coffee. And because I’m too tired to kick you,” you told him.

“Do you want any help?” He offers, and you smile, but shake your head at him. 

“No, thanks. I’ve got a pretty strict organizational system going on over here, if you hadn’t noticed,” you chuckle. “But you can come to the medical examiner’s office with me in an hour or so?” 

“It’s a date, mama.” He confirms, rapping his knuckles against your desk before going back to his own workspace. You flip through a few more pages, leaving scribbled notes and wayward highlighter in the margins, before you notice something and call Garcia. 

“Good morning, peach! What can I do you for?” Garcia asks in her usual cheery tone, clearly far ahead of you in terms of cups of coffee consumed. 

“Morning,” you say to her. “Listen, something came in through the tip line last night, and it’s probably nothing, but I just have this feeling…” 

“Lay it on me,” she tells you encouragingly. 

“So, Mark Vexper is a long-term sub at the high school where all of the kids went. He didn’t go to work the day after both of the murders. He had a scheduled personal day the first day, and he called in sick the second. Like I said, probably just a coincidence--” 

“No stone left unturned, kitten! I’m on it. Buzz you when I have more.” She says, hanging up unceremoniously.

“Good catch,” Hotch says from behind you, and you startle. 

“It’s probably just a coincidence,” you brush the compliment off. 

“Maybe, but we won’t know until we look into it,” he tells you. “You feeling okay?” He asks. 

“I just really want to catch this guy and get home to our boy.” You tell him, and his heart warms. Looking around surreptitiously, he drops a quick kiss to the crown of your head. 

“Me, too, angel. We’ll get him.” He tells you. 

An unexplainable chill runs up your spine, and you have a strange feeling that Aaron’s not talking about this unsub.

tagging:  @romanogersendgame @wanniiieeee      @zheezs14      @greeneyedblondie44 @angelic-kisses13  @baumarvel @ssamorganhotchner  @ijustwannaread2k19    @rexit-mo @shmaptainhotchnersmain @qtip-blog @averyhotchner  @the-modernmary @itsmytimetoodream @choppa-style @hotforhotchner11 @infinite-tides @isthatme-thatsme @g-l-pierce @bakugouswh0r3 @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads

[quirklessidiot]

Title: filthy rich [1/3] Pairing: millionare!sakusa kiyoomi x y/n [filthy capitalist au] Genre: romance, major angst ahead ,fluff, yandere!au-ish 

Synopsis: Your luck had just run out when you realized that you flirted with danger. [400 followers special]

Warnings: language and none...yet….[although i will put a trigger warning that is a controlling, abusive, and kind of a yandere relationship] Notes: 

Happy 460 followers i- look, i know i promised a long kita fanfic but i got more inspired to finish this and write this one because djjdjdjd ,,, anyways this was originally a kpop fanfic i wrote years ago and i switched it up to an omi fanfic. I don’t condone this type of relationship, if ya see this shit on your partner, please run (i beg of you)

also eheh the remaining two requests will be posted soon so uwu

next  ||  series masterlist || taglist 

“Hey Y/N.”

You look up from your medical textbook to find your aunt standing there with an expensive freshly pressed suit on her hand wrapped in plastic, you had been living with her along with her two younger kids in Tokyo after your parents decided to become humanitarian doctors. Wanting to explore and get out of your comfort zone, you ended up living in the big city along with your mother’s closest friend.

“Oh, hey obaasan.” you greeted, “What’s up?”

“Ah, you see, Shoyo is out now and no one will be able to deliver the suit to Sakusa-san, would you mind doing me a favor and delivering it for me?”

You shut your textbook and stood up from your chair, “Sure, uh- could I have his address?” you ask as you took the suit in plastic carefully from her hands, not wanting to damage something that cost as expensive as your tuition in med school. After saying goodbye to your aunt and carefully placing the suit at the back of your car, you drove your way to the upstate part of the city.

Your second hand car stood out like a sore thumb in the lane of expensive and flashy cars, you wanted to waltz in and out of here quickly. Following your aunt’s instruction’s, you march up to the front desk to hand the suit over to the receptionist, “I’m here to drop the laundry for Sakusa-sa-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, she snatched it away from your grasp. You narrow your eyes at her rather uncouth attitude, “Oh, cool...thanks…” you murmur, not wanting to cause a scene or pick a fight with the rude woman, you made a b-line towards the exit. Away from the judging and prying eyes of the people who were very much above you in terms of class and wealth.

The moment you step out though, you watch in horror as your car is being towed away, “Hey!” you exclaimed, hurriedly going to the worker who was writing something down on his clipboard, “Hey, wait! Please, excuse me?”

The worker turned to you with a questioning gaze as you immediately started to explain that you were in and out of the place and that you were just delivering some laundry but all you got was a shake in the head and the words, “It’s not up to me, that guy called us in.” He points his ballpen towards the man in a suit and paired with a surgical white mask on the phone, “...The parking here is for residents only and clearly you’re not one of them.” 

Your eyes almost widened at his explanation, just what was wrong with people who lived here?

You fumingly grab the piece of paper he hands to you and stuff it in your pocket as you march up to the stranger on the phone, “Hey, excuse me!” you proclaimed, there were a few on-lookers but you ignored them, you were seeing red with the treatment you’ve been receiving here. The raven-haired stranger ignores you, still on his phone so you call him out again and when you do, the darkest pair of obsidian eyes are on you.

You clenched your fists tightly as the quote ‘eat the rich’ comes into your head.

“There must be some mistake.” You began slowly, trying to put your anger at bay because you didn’t want the whole thing to escalate in public, “I’m in and out here, all i did was deliver and I didn't know-”

“Your ignorance doesn’t excuse you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ignorance of the law excuses no one.” He simply states, “Also the car was on the way in my space and not even a parking spot.”

You let out a loud, sardonic laugh, “I’d be gone in two minutes if you waited.”

“You would’ve wasted my two minutes.” 

You clenched your fist tightly and as you were about to bite back on his snide remark, the receptionist from before intervenes, “Excuse me, he’s right. You aren’t allowed to park here.” she tries to look professional but you know she’s just siding with this idiot since he had the money.

“Right.” you nod, “You know what, fuck it, this blows. All I did was my job and I have to be shitted on because I don’t have money like Mr.fancy-pants over here.” You bellowed,your glare was intense as you turned around, stomping away before you would do anything you’d regret.

The stranger’s eyes towards you do not waver though, how interesting, he thought.

You never wanted to return to that place again, not only did you lose a lot of money to pay your toll fee for your car but you needed to buy a bunch of new books for the new semester. You groan out loud as you also realize that you needed to do a grocery run since all you had were empty packets of instant Ramen and water in your apartment.

Chunking the cue cards to the side, you made your way to the convenience store, the city was definitely alive tonight and amidst that, you look absolutely dead tired. Your eye bags were getting thicker, a few zits had popped out, and you had grown thin in an unhealthy way because of your food consumption.

Man, being in med school and being dumb wasn’t a very good combination.

Your thoughts are interrupted when your aunt calls you again and says you have to do deliveries tonight, “You remember Sakusa-san?” your aunt says on the other line.

You couldn’t help but grimace at the mention of the man and the memories of where he lived.

Man, did this Sakusa-san needed new neighbors.

“What does he need a suit for in this unholy hour?” You mentally groaned.

“He needs it for laundry, you can have the money when you pick it up.”

Your ears immediately perk up at the mention of cash, you decided to take public transportation since you didn’t want to risk getting your car toll away by that Sakusa guy’s wretched fancy-pants neighbor. Grocery shopping could wait another time, “Stupid rich people.” You muttered under your breath as you pushed open the entrance to find the same man who you despised, sitting there with a laundry basket next to him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You mumbled, sucking in a deep breath, you say, “Sakusa-san?”

“So I was right.” he says, pulling down his mask to reveal his sharp features, “You were the one who delivered my suit that day. It’s usually a young boy with a bike.”

Boy, this man was definitely at his prime, he was probably a good few years older than you and you bet he had the ladies swinging left and right with that face. Too bad he had a shitty attitude though.

“Well, that doesn’t give you an excuse to tow my car away.” you deadpan.

“How much do I owe you for the unfortunate accident then?” his tone was rich and low but you detected no remorse in it, it was as if waving huge chunks of money would help tremendously. The asshole couldn’t even properly say sorry to you because of the hard time you had to go through that time.

“None,” you scoffed, “Just hand me your laundry and pay the fee, we’ll call it even.”

The raven-haired man tilts his head and carefully hands you the laundry bag along with a wad of cash, your eyes immediately widen out of character, “Woah, wait-”

“For the troubles.” He simply replies, “Goodnight.”

You later found out that his full name was Sakusa Kiyoomi and not only was he rich, he was filthy rich. The man used to be a big volleyball player back or something when he was in high school and college but instead of becoming a pro player, he had inherited the family business.

“Huh, so he was a capitalist.” You stare at his picture at the morning paper which was coincidentally an article about him. You decided to forget about it, expecting to not see him after that night since Hinata had no classes or practices these upcoming weeks yet weirdly enough, he started to ask for you to pick up his laundry instead.

So you both fell into a strange routine, you’d pick up his laundry and return it the next day. He was also there to pick up his things and you no longer needed to talk to the rude receptionist. You were suspicious of him yet you decided to just overlook it, he gave good tips and he wasn’t as rude as the first time you met him, in fact, he made small conversations now and you sort of got to know the man.

You had a weird dynamic but strangely enough, it worked.

“L/N-san.” 

“Good evening,” You greeted per usual, holding out your hand yet his eyes squinted at the bandage on your hand.

“What happened.” the raven-haired man asked, his gaze zeroing on the wound that you got in one of your classes.

“I’m a med student...I cut myself instead of the cadaver in class.” you shrug nonchalantly as you wiggle your fingers, “It’s alright though, I’m not going to stain your suit that you keep putting back to the laundry for some odd reason.”

“You got hurt.”

“Happens to the best of us.”

Sakusa mutters something incoherent under his breath before saying, “I’ll take you to your car.”

“Woah there-”

The man ignores you as he walks ahead of you, this was certainly getting out of character, even for him who always asked for you, “Open it.” He orders as he points to the car door, you begrudgingly obliged and did as he said. He places the laundry inside and turns to you to give you his usual pay, “Take care of yourself next time, L/N-san.”

The very next day, your aunt hands you an expensive package of ointments on your doorstep. Your brows are furrowed together in confusion as she says that they’re from the millionaire himself. You pointedly look at the package in front of you, completely lost as to why someone like him would send something like this to the person who he wasn’t exactly close with.

“Y/N-saaaaan…” Hinata drowns, you snap your gaze from your notes to the young orange-haired boy, “I’ve got news!”

You had stopped working for your aunt since you found a job at your university’s library, not only were the hours more lax but they even minus some of the tuition as long as you worked there. It was definitely a win-win situation for you.

“What’s up, orange?” You asked.

“Remember Sakusa-san?”

You hum a reply, “What about him?”

“I think he likes you.”

You almost choke on your saliva when you heard that, this little brat, why you ought to-

“He looked really disappointed when I said that you didn’t work for us anymore.” Hinata explains, cutting your thoughts short, 

“Right.” You drawl, shaking your head, “Maybe you were just hard to look at, that’s why.”

“Hey!” He clenched his fists together and pouted at your tone, “I don’t even know why he likes you!”

You feel a vein pop in his forehead as you hear his insult,  you proceeded to chunk a pillow to his direction in which he successfully dodged, “Get your facts straight and I assure you, he doesn’t like me.” you grumbled, returning to your books.

Ultimately, you thought that you’d never see Sakusa Kiyoomi ever again. It was fairly obvious that outside your job, someone of high caliber as him was someone you’d never see again yet you're immediately thrown off guard when you find him standing there around your campus.

Your eyes widen in surprise, well what do you know? it was the devil himself.

“Sakusa-san.”

“L/N-san.”

Man, you may not have seen him for a month or two but despite wearing the mask, you could tell that  e still sported the same blank and basic bitch face behind it. Hinata was wrong in all ways, this guy wouldn’t like you, he’d probably deem you too low class for him, “What a surprise, it’s been a while.” You stiffly bowed down.

“You’re acting weird.” 

You raise your gaze to meet his and you could see the glint of amusement in his eyes.

“You’re most likely a guest in the university.” You mumbled, scratching your head, “People might come at me if I treated you as casually as before.”

Sakusa raises his brow, “That’s funny coming from someone who was this close to punching me during our first meeting.”

“You were being a dick that time.”

“How you have guts to say that to my face amazes me every time.”

“Oh yeah?” You chortled, amused by his statement, “I’m starting to think you’ve taken a liking on me.”

“Was it not obvious when I kept asking for you from Hinata-san?”

You immediately choke on the coffee you were sipping, burning your tongue in the process, “Okay what the hell, sakusa-san-” you said in between coughs.

Your freeze up when you look at him dead in the eye, his eyes crinkling, was he smiling behind the mask? No way, the Sakusa Kiyoomi was smiling at you? He pulls down his mask and bends down, making you retract your steps and your cheeks flush to a brightly red color, “You’re turning red.” he points out loud and that makes you turn even redder.

“You’re acting weird.”

“You were getting dense.” 

“How was I supposed to know...to know that…” You try to stutter out, completely embarrassed.

“To know what?” 

“You know what.” You grumbled, standing up a bit straighter and ignoring his teasing tone, “I’m not interested in you.”

“Your red cheeks say otherwise.”

“It’s the cold weather.” You harshly replied, looking away again, trying to avoid his gaze, “I’m not interested in a boyfriend, a flirting partner, or whatever that is. So good day!” 

You immediately stomp away, leaving Sakusa Kiyoomi with an amused smirk. How entertaining and adorable, you looked like a bunny. His cute bunny.

A few days had passed from that little interaction and you wanted to hurl yourself out the window whenever you thought about it. Sakusa Kiyoomi? The filthy rich capitalist Sakusa Kiyoomi? Interested in you? What kind of k-drama was this?

You tried to avoid going out much in the campus, Apparently he was around after he donated half a million to the medicine department.

You immediately groaned out loud at the thought, there was in no way that all this was possible!

“L/N-san.”

You immediately jump on the spot and drop your keys, “Holy fucking-” You pause, biting back your tongue, there he stood sporting a casual attire instead of a business suit and his usual face mask,  “Sakusa-san?”

“Kiyoomi.” He smoothly corrects.

“Nice. Very nice.” You dryly replied, “Heard you donated half a million and some new equipment to our department. Sweet.”

“You don’t look that happy.”

“I mean you basically confessed that you were interested then decided to donate to my department only.” You narrow your eyes suspiciously, “You remind me of a sugar daddy.”

“Well,” He shrugged, “You didn’t exactly deny that you wanted one.”

Your brain immediately short-circuits as you try to stutter out a reply, Sakusa looked like he’d been having a field day. Gone was the fiery girl he met a few months ago, he really knew what to say to reduce you to a stuttering mess.

“I’m kidding, L/N-san.” he deadpanned when he realized that you weren’t giving him a straight answer since your mind was jumbled up, “It was purely coincidental, we’ve been eyeing certain medicine departments and yours was performing top-notch. It doesn’t mean that I’m any less interested in taking you out.”

“You do know I’m poor right…” You sweatdrop, “I could easily take advantage of you-”

“One date, L/N-san…” he says, ignoring your very weak argument, “Just one then I’ll let you go.”

You don’t know why but you ended up saying yes that day.

You didn’t know what to expect on your first date and you had your fingers cross the whole time that he wouldn’t take you to an expensive michelin star restaurant since you didn’t have the clothes for the place.

Thankfully, the date was more casual than you expected, it was in his home and he had  cooked the meal himself.

“You’re looking oddly relieved.”

“I can’t function well in expensive restaurants.” You sweatdrop, covering your awkwardness with a laugh. You’ve never gone on dates before, the idea of being intimate with someone had made you feel awkward and bothered. 

“I’m not a big fan of public areas so I assure you we're not going on those anytime soon.” 

“Well aren’t you getting confident.” You raise a brow, teasing him a bit as you start to pick on the beef with your chopsticks.

“Call it a gut feeling, L/N-san.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“You asked me to call you Kiyoomi and well,” you turn red once again, “Well it would be awkward if you were all formal with me.”

You saw the small twinkle in his eyes, “Y/N.” your name rolls out of his tongue smoothly and you feel your heart hammering on your chest, “I like that, Y/N…” 

It was in that little moment that you realized that you liked it when he called your name.

The dinner went by without a hitch, Sakusa Kiyoomi was not the same arrogant man that the media portrayed him to be. He was quiet, understanding, and soft. Completely the opposite of the first day you met him. He urged you to talk more about yourself, saying how boring and open his life was since the media tailed him a lot.

“Why Tokyo?” 

“Why not?” You shrug, swishing the wine before taking a small sip, “It’s a great place, it’s new, and I had someone I knew here. My mom and Obaasan were good friends so I was allowed to move here on my own.”

“Are you coming back to your country if you’re done with your studies?”

You were silent for a moment, “I don’t think so. I wanna be like my parents.”

“A humanitarian doctor, huh?”

“Yeah.” You smile, “A humanitarian doctor. How about you? What’s your story?”

“Nothing interesting.” He glazed, “I’m an open book, Y/N.”

“Open book?” You tilt your head to the side, “You’re usually painted as an asshole by the media…”

“But you don’t believe it.”

“You kinda were when we first met.”

For the first time, you hear his soft chuckle and your heart starts beating fast. You liked that sound, you wanted to hear something like that again, “You always know how to amuse me, Y/N.” he shakes his head, “And for the record, just because I’m not comfortable with touches, public places and whatnot does not make me an asshole...I just am a very private person with interests…”

“What’s your interest now?”

“You.” He replied nonchalantly, making you look away..

“Stop.”

“What?”

“Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Flirting with me with a straight face like you mean it!” You choke out, turning red.

“Because I do mean it, Y/N.” He shrugs. “I am interested in you.”

It seemed like that little date you had turned out more successful than you thought, one date led to another and another. This went on for a few months until he asked you to be his partner one night at a very random place, you usually pictured Sakusa Kiyoomi to be the smooth type     you were, after all, always the stuttering mess between you two     but when he asks you to be his officially, outside the public restroom of all places with his ear tips turning red, your reduced to a heaping pile of giggles.

With men like him, you didn’t exactly expect anything more than the dates.

You should’ve known better that he was too good to be true.

general taglist for the next part is open aye

[cosmiclatte28]

I was wondering if you could have yuta comfort a fan during a panic attack? I really love cute nicknames too if you can add them in. If it doesn't apply to your rules I understand. I personally love kpop idols comforting fan scenarios

this is my first request after a long time, and I enjoy this :D

thank you for sending the request !!!

trigger warning : panic attack, strict and controlling family

@unadulteratedmusiciansrockalien thank you for sending this, hope you like this :D

nets @superm-net @multifandomnet

Another day of the life you never wished or dreamed of. The beep from the microwave brings you back to reality, you bend over to take a cup of hot water and drop in a bag of tea. While your hand plays with the tea bag, bouncing it up and down as you calm yourself by watching the brown color fusing into the water, your eyes catch the shadow of your most feared man.

“Good morning, dad.” you greet him and try to hide your face from him. This man who has raised you, is not your biological father. Your mother remarried a man who is so successful in his land and properties business. You detest him though because he forced you to earn a marketing degree when all you wanted to do was be a pediatrician. Words were exchanged back then and his words were unchangeable, he made you take a marketing degree and he’d been controlling your life until now.

“Ready to meet our biggest client? Lord Hyuck from the Lee family is planning to buy and invest money on our newest property area. They are going to make a factory for silicones and if their business is doing well, they might take over the neighboring land too.” he stirs his morning coffee with glint of hopes in his eyes.

Your body stiffens, why does he have to give the most important project to you? You will just mess it up and you won’t be able to convince him to buy the land. Even worse, what if the lee would never buy land or properties from your dad anymore? Will you be a disgrace?

You pause your bouncing activity and clear your throat “I’m sorry but why should you assign me on this big project?”

Your dad raises a brow “Well, of course because you are my daughter and I don’t trust the other employees. They might make a deal behind my back, adding some prices or make a secret deal that could backstab our company. I know, you won’t do that right?” he pulls his “family is who you can trust” card and your finger cannot stop drumming your cup. You’re nervous! Despite being the daughter of the chairman, you’ve always taken the smaller projects because you cannot deal with the nerves of sitting and bargaining to big people.

“I don’t know if I can, dad. Can’t you send Mr Seo instead? He’s your loyal senior marketing agent.” you sip on your cup, your dad not noticing the tremble in your hand.

He shakes his head “I want to give you a big project now and I know you won’t mess it up for me. Right (y/n)? Show me that you are worthy and show me what you’ve learned from the most prestigious school here! Now chop chop, Yuta will be responsible to drive you there at eleven.” with a pat on the back, he leaves you there.

“You got this,” a co-worker who accidentally heard your talk reassures you.

“Thank you Taeyong, I hope so. Well, let me just prepare myself then.” you giggle nervously, stomach already churning and ready to just run to the closest restroom and throw your breakfast out.

You’re super nervous. Meeting new people is not your comfort zone, talking to new people makes you sweat and you are tired of being controlled.

---

“Big project ahead, but I know you will be okay.” your loyal caretaker and personal driver whispers when he opens the door to help you inside and takes over your stuffs.

You sigh “Yuta, you’re only making me feel more nervous.”

He ruffles your hair and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze “No worries my little angel, I will be here. Do you feel suffocated in this car?” you flash a small smile and take a deep breath. “Yes/ I don’t feel like sitting in a closed room, Yuta do we have another option?”

Yuta smirks and steps out of the driver seat, “Well, yes of course I have, my lady. Please step out and we will be on the road soon.”

You wait for him in the lobby, your head keeps on repeating the breathing exercise Yuta taught you.

He returns with a pair of helmet and a motorcycle on his side. Yuta calmly puts it over your head and you keep fidgeting with your fingers.

Breathing still feels hard, you know you’re almost having a panic attack but you keep hypnotizing yourself that “I am experiencing a panic attack. It feels scary but it will not cause physical harm.”

The loyal man takes your hands and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Breathe with me darling, slowly but deep.” he coaxes you in with his deep soothing voice.

When he sees no objection from you, Yuta pulls you closer into his embrace and runs a hand on your back. “This feels awful sweetie, I know. but it’s not going to hurt you”

You close your eyes and limp yourself into his hug, “Breathe, breathe.. I am okay, I can breathe. There is nothing stopping me from breathing.” you chant to yourself and Yuta just keeps stroking your back. Calming you down with all his warmth, lovely touches, and white noises in your ear. His warm hand makes his way to your neck, he touches you there and just keeps your body standing. You melt deeper into his body, really loving how he can sooth your panic attack.

He hums soft tunes into your ear, he breathes calmly by your side so you can follow him and he keeps praising you for being a good girl in calming yourself down.

“Yoshi-yoshi, there my good girl. Breathe with me okay, you’re doing so great.” he giggles when he feels you tense a little from his japanese words.

When you calm down and stop shaking, Yuta cups your face and stares into your eyes with his soft amber ones.

“I am always here for you okay my sweetheart. I won’t leave you ever.” his thumb caresses your cheek and you blush.

“Thank you Yuta. I think I’m ready to go.” You play with your hair. He presses a quick kiss on your forehead and one more on your cheek. “Good girl.”

He takes a seat on the motorcycle and you jump behind him. Yuta smiles when he sees your face less pale. “Keep breathing my dear, I know you can do that. Hold on tight,” he grabs your hand and hugs it over his waist. “Do what’s comfortable darling. You are safe here with me.” he winks and soon after takes off to the busy street.

You close your eyes and press your cheek to his back, your arms still hugging Yuta tightly from the back. His musky cologne calms your nerves down and hearing Yuta’s heartbeat also makes you feel safe.

Both of you make it to the meeting place. You step down from the vehicle and Yuta helps you take off the helmet. He runs his finger slowly to fix your hair and when you want to open your mouth asking if you look good he already beats you into it. “You look stunning. Now, I know you will do amazing. Mr. Lee is kind, don’t be scared. I will be on the table next to yours, if you need anything I will always be there.” Yuta plants a quick kiss again on your cheek and touches them slowly. You lean your cheek into his palm and take his other free hand, lace it with yours and squeeze it “Thank you Yuta! I love you.” you blush as you plant a quick kiss on his lips and then run away to step into the café before your client comes.

Yuta still stands next to his motorcycle, eyes wide open, cheeks red. He shakes his head to regain his composure and smirks “That little angel, she woke up the devil inside me.”

end

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Sensate Focus

A bitch takes one Human Sexuality class and gets stuck on the fucking Sensate Focus bullshit then has to write a fic about it. Its me. I’m the bitch. 😂

Warnings: Geralt is self depriciating-whats new, insecure jask, insecure geralt, overwhelmed by touch, big vulnerability, they’re in couple’s therapy, so like, its a rocky relationship, we got some connection building and cuteness in the end too, its not all bad, mentions of sex, nudity but like not in a smutty way, for once I dont think i used a single swear word? I had big feels while writing it i really hope they translated lmao.

I am but a humble psych major, not an actual therapist, so plz don’t come at me if shit isn’t accurate. I tried my best.

Also this is under a cut for a reason, not just length. If you are easily triggered by touch starved type fics this is not for you. It gets emotionally heavy plz read with caution.  

____________________________

“You want us to what?” 

“Come on, Geralt. You said you’d try.”

“I- no. Just- why? What’s the point?”

Both Geralt and Jaskier turned to their therapist, each equally confused and a little scared. 

The tiny woman kept her face completely impassive and answered his question, “The exercise helps people get out of their heads and reacquaint themselves with, not only being open with their partner, but also slowing down and enjoying touch for touch sake. Without being so focused on the end goal of sex or pleasing a partner, people can begin to refocus on the connection attachment theorists claim is the underlying motivation for sex without reproduction in the first place.”

Geralt swallowed hard. This was for him and he knew it. He’d said it himself, he was fucking terrified of failure and rejection and that absolutely extended to Jaskier. His husband. Of five years. Who’d been with him for ten. Logically it made no fucking sense, but the woman with the PhD had told him this was rather normal for a child of divorce as if he’d said he didn’t like horseradish sauce. He didn’t see how being scared of your spouse secretly hating you was normal in the slightest. 

He glanced over at Jaskier who sat at the other end of the black leather sofa picking at his nails. When they’d gotten married they’d laze around all day just holding each other and talking. It was safe and sweet and Geralt couldn’t for the life of him remember how it was tainted.

“Alright,” he grunted, “What’re the rules again?”

-

The next afternoon they’d carved out an hour and a half with no distractions, no phones, not even any music to Jaskier’s dismay. Apparently that was against the ‘guidelines - not rules’. 

They stood in their bedroom, lights dimmed and curtains drawn, as much for the ambiance as for the privacy. Geralt felt his stomach flip flop as he stepped out of his clothes, feeling a bit ridiculous. It’s not as if this was the first time they’d seen each other naked, but it was the first time they were to spend ‘as much time as necessary’ -whatever that meant- touching each other, one at a time. 

Jaskier dropped his clothes in the laundry bin and stood with his arms crossed, almost like he was hiding, “Right. So… Do you want to go first? Maybe go over things again?”

“Do you want to go first?” Geralt asked, immediately drawing his bottom lip between his teeth to gnaw at the peeling skin. 

“I just want to know why you look so scared, to be honest,” Jaskier breathed. 

Geralt took a deep breath, reminding himself that he wasn’t the only one being vulnerable here, “Not scared. Just nervous.”

“Rules then?”

Geralt nodded, “No talking. No, uh, erogenous zones. No sex. No kissing. If you don’t like something or it’s a big turn on or it tickles, move the other person’s hand.” the weight in his chest lessened a little bit, this really was simple. Just touching Jask. Something he’d done a million times. Hell he might not even get anything out of it. He didn’t need to be so damned worried about things going wrong. 

“If you get overwhelmed think about temperature and texture and how it feels. Don’t think about what the other person is thinking or feeling. The only bit that matters is moving their hand,” Jaskier added, his posture relaxing ever so slightly as he rocked up on his toes and back down.

Geralt stepped a little closer, holding out his pinky finger, “We don’t stay still if we don’t like something.” He said it more to reassure Jaskier than anything. 

Jask hooked his pinky around Geralt’s and smiled, “No barreling through,” he agreed. 

“Can I, uhm… go first?” Geralt kept their pinkies hooked together as he let their hands hang between them. 

Jaskier looked surprised, but nodded fervently, “Of course!”

“Okay,” Geralt pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair before stepping a bit closer, hovering both of his hands over jaskier’s shoulders, “So I just-?”

Jaskier nodded and whispered, “No talking, love.” 

Geralt let out an amused huff, the irony of the words bringing a soft smile to his face. He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out as he placed his hands over Jaskier’s arms. 

Sensations. He could do this. He was doing this.

Jaskier’s arms were soft, both in texture and in feel, giving way to Geralt’s fingers ever so slightly when he squeezed. He trailed his hands down over Jaskier’s elbows, noting the patches of dry skin over the joints that Jask had been scandalized by in college. His forearms had more hair, but it was softer than Geralt’s, silky even, and nice to touch. Geralt trailed his fingers down Jaskier’s wrist and back up, watching as the little hairs stood on end but seemed to stick to the pads of his fingers as he moved past them. When he noticed the goosebumps he glanced up to Jaskier with mild panic in his eyes, worried he’d already fucked it up and made him uncomfortable. But his husband just nodded, a light smile on his lips. 

Temperature. Back to task.

Geralt picked up Jaskier’s hand, holding it in one of his as he skimmed his fingers over his knuckles and calluses. His palms were warmer than the back of his hand and it seemed every spot where his skin had built up from use was just a tad colder than the thinner skin next to it. 

He gently guided Jaskier’s hand back down and trailed his hand up his arm, ghosting his fingers over his collar bone. He thought about how much softer this skin was, and how it made the butterflies in his stomach go wild as he moved back and forth over the spot a few times. He liked the pleasant little pitfall of his stomach, not arousal but not unlike it, just a little higher in his abdomen and lighter. He moved his other hand to mirror his movement’s on Jaskier’s other shoulder, palms soon coming to rest over his chest almost on their own. 

Geralt was so aware of his hands they almost felt numb. It made him think of one of those motor skills brain maps where it showed how much of your brain was devoted to moving which part of your body. Those huge chunks devoted to his hands must have been screaming. 

Jaskier gasped as a bit of his chest hair got caught in Geralt’s ring as he swept his hands downward. Geralt gave him an apologetic look but just got a grin and slight shake of his head in return instead of the shock he expected. 

Geralt continued, moving his hands in slow circles over Jaskier’s abdomen and hips and flanks, marveling at the warmth he felt not only under his hands but spreading through his chest. He let his hands rest above Jaskier’s hips, just at the bottom of his ribs and watched as his hands slowly moved apart and back together in time with Jaskier’s breath. It looked like such a small movement, but when he closed his eyes he felt like he was throwing his arms wide open. He tried matching his breathing to Jaskier’s, but that was close to overwhelming, so he moved on, refocusing on the texture and thickness of his chest hair as he moved up to his neck. 

One of his hands stayed resting on Jaskier’s chest as his other brushed up the side of his neck with the backs of his fingers. Even with such light pressure he could feel the thick ropes of muscle and tendons under his skin. It was warmer over his pulse point and Geralt’s breath hitched when he felt the little thump of a heartbeat under his fingers. He closed his eyes for a moment, surprised to find himself taking a deep breath, not out of fear or frustration, but to sink into the feeling as much as he could. He counted the beats, making a note of how comforting the feeling was. The longer he held his fingers in place, the softer the beats became, until they leveled out to a soft and steady thrum. 

When Geralt opened his eyes the beats picked up, matching the strange look on Jaskier’s face. Geralt moved his hand over his jaw and back a few times. He could almost hear the ridges of his fingerprints catching on Jaskier’s stubble as he traced over his upper lip. 

He felt a soothing sense of familiarity when his fingers grazed along the outline of Jaskier’s lips. His body latched onto the feeling and he found himself starting to get watery eyes as he reacquainted himself with the thin pink skin. He remembered their first kiss and how much it scared him even though he craved it so completely. He remembered kissing Jaskier over and over and over when they’d finally said ‘i love you’ and dropped the casual pretense. He remembered their kiss at their wedding, soft, firm, and a little wet with happy tears. 

An annoying voice that sounded an awful lot like their therapist sounded off in his head, “This is what I was trying to tell you, asshat. Focus on the positive.” 

Geralt smiled despite the sharp tug behind his eyes that told him he might cry, and brushed his fingers up over the thin skin beneath Jaskier’s eyes, careful not to press hard enough to catch and pull at the blueish skin. He traced his eyebrows, the bridge of his nose, his cheekbones and hollows, his chin, and his cupid’s bow, all with that same surprisingly pleasant near-tears feeling in his chest. He watched Jaskier’s eyes watching him as he carded one hand through his hair. 

That was what did it, what made the tears start to dribble down his cheeks as his hands continued to gently comb through his husband’s hair. The look of wonder and relief he was met with was overwhelming. He felt a bit of guilt, sure. Guilt for letting things get as bad as they’d been, but he was overwhelmed by how much love he felt. It permeated his whole body and the air around him. He hadn’t even felt this in the beginning; this was a settled and sure feeling, not the frantic need he’d felt before. 

Geralt pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes, sending a fresh wave of tears over his cheeks as he brushed his hands over Jaskier’s back. He traced his spine, counted every rib, and outlined his shoulder blades with the tips of his fingers. 

Their fronts were pressed together, but technically it wasn’t against any rule, so neither of them moved back. Geralt’s hands moved to the dip in Jaskier’s hips, his thumbs brushing over the place where his skin creased when he sat and Jaskier wrapped his hands around his wrists. A warm puff of air washed over Geralt’s face as Jaskier breathed a small laugh and moved his hands up. Surprisingly enough, Geralt was only amused by being moved, filing the information away for later as he settled for measuring Jaskier’s breaths again, now leaning into the full body tingle he felt when they both exhaled. 

He wanted to stay right there for hours, but he suddenly wanted Jaskier to touch him. More than that, he wanted Jaskier to feel like him. He gave his sides a gentle squeeze as he straightened up and rocked back a bit, making the smallest bit of space between them.

“Switch,” he whispered, the soft sound coming out like crunching gravel in the charged silence. 

He let his hands fall to his sides as he opened his eyes, a little relieved to see he wasn’t the only one crying. 

Jaskier immediately reached up to cup Geralt’s cheeks and brush the tears away. It was odd, having to stay still when Jask was right there, when he could still feel the echoes of the sensations in his hands. But he stayed put, if for nothing else than the look of cautious excitement Jaskier was wearing. 

He wanted to tell him there was no need, that he would gladly spend the rest of the day standing in the dim light of their bedroom, silently taking turns softly caressing each other. But rules were rules.

Jaskier drew his hands a little closer together over his cheeks, making sure all the tears were smudged away with his thumbs as Geralt’s eyes fluttered shut. The warmth of his hands was soothing, especially when Jaskier slowly brushed his thumbs over Geralt’s eyelids. As Jaskier dragged his fingers over Geralt’s chin and brushed the backs of his fingers back up and over his cheeks, Geralt almost started to feel dizzy. He forced his eyes open and focused on watching Jaskier’s face. 

His tongue stuck out between his lips as his hands fluttered down his nose and to his lips. A wistful smile graced his features as he brushed over the chapped skin, pulling his bottom lip down just enough so when he let go it popped when it jumped back up to meet his top lip. Geralt tried not to smile, wanting him to do it again, but raised an eyebrow. Jaskier openly grinned and popped his lip a few more times before smoothing his thumb over it. He tucked some hair behind Geralt’s ear and cupped his hands around the base of his neck, gently pressing his thumbs into the tense muscles. 

A shiver ran down Geralt’s back as Jaskier brushed his hands out and over his shoulders, thumbing circles over the points where muscle just barely covered bone. Geralt watched his eyes, watched the little crows feet get deeper when he smiled and watched his brows lift up and together. 

It occurred to him then that Jaskier might have been just as lonely as he was, that the exuberant extrovert he’d married wanted this as badly as he did. It truly never crossed his mind until he saw it written plain as day on Jaskier’s face; he wasn’t the only one with insecurities in their relationship. 

Every bone in his body wanted to pick Jaskier up and crush him to his chest. The trails of goosebumps his fingers left over his skin made it even harder not to, but Jask was enjoying this. He’d even go so far as to say he was lost in it. Rules be damned, Geralt couldn’t take this away from him if he’d wanted to. 

When Jaskier’s hands ghosted over his navel he shivered and let his eyes flutter closed. If he wasn’t going to break and move he should at least lean into it.

However, being held without expectations, without needing, or even being allowed, to do or say anything in return was beginning to seem overwhelming. How had Jaskier just stood there and watched him? How could anyone just stand and constantly be told with the light brush of someone else’s knuckles over their cheek that they were desired and cherished? When the hands pressed to his chest told him over and over that he was loved, what kind of escape was there? 

One of Jaskier’s hands once again brushed his tears away and he leaned into it, lip trembling as he looked up at the ceiling trying to compose himself. Jaskier would have none of it, gently tilting his head down until their noses brushed and he was forced to look into his watery blue eyes. 

He needed this. Geralt was terrified but Jaskier’s expression spoke of a yearning that ran so deep even he probably couldn’t put a name to it. Geralt licked his lips and offered a watery smile, feeling warm relief when Jaskier smiled back and ran his hands down his arms to rest behind his elbows. He squeezed the meat behind his arms, the tops of his forearms, the tendons in his wrist, making his fingers involuntarily curl. Geralt didn’t move, he barely breathed, as Jaskier watched his own hands roam over Geralt’s like he’d never seen anything like it. 

When he stopped trying to run the sensation faded to a dull roar. Jaskier’s hands were warm and his breath across his skin was gentle. Geralt might even admit he felt a little bit worthy of the adoration in his husband’s eyes after a few minutes. 

Jaskier’s touches were light in some places, firm and grounding in others. Like when he circled his arms around Geralt and pressed his palms into the small of his back, resting his forehead where his collar bones met. Geralt had no idea how something so simple could make him feel so weak. He knew it wasn’t entirely true, but it felt like the only thing holding him up was Jaskier’s touch. When he rocked back, even if it was only an inch or so, Geralt had to fight not to follow him.

Jaskier rested his hands over his ribs, just above his elbows, and stared into his eyes. 

They’d agreed to say ‘end’ with their therapist. That’s what Geralt was waiting for. So when Jaskier whispered ‘enough’ and gave him a gentle squeeze it was all he could do to bite down on his lip and keep quiet. Of course he would say enough. The one word Geralt had struggled with from day one. Being enough always felt impossible, but he could begin to think of it as a bit more attainable standing in their dim bedroom without a sound in the world other than their breathing. 

He nodded and they both picked up their notepads and scribbled down the notes they were supposed to. Geralt’s was just a list of words but he didn’t care, he filled most of the page and chucked it on the bedside table before tugging on his sweats. 

When he looked up for Jaskier he found him staring at him, worry on his brow and pen hovering over what looked like a second nearly full page. 

“Do you, maybe want some tea while you write?”

He licked his lips and nodded, adjusting the blanket wrapped around his shoulders before going back to frantically scratching words onto his page. 

Geralt gently closed the door after him and took a deep shaky breath as he padded into their bright kitchen, running his hands through his hair. The kettle seemed to take forever with how fast his mind was racing, replaying every bit he could to lodge it in his memory. 

Jaskier was just closing his notebook and setting it on top of his laptop when he opened the door with his foot, careful not to spill any hot liquid on the carpet. 

“Thank you,” Jaskier whispered, taking his cup and sitting at the foot of the bed. 

Geralt joined him and draped an arm over his blanket wrapped shoulders, “Of course.”

They slurped at their mugs in silence until Geralt was able to take a full sip without scalding the roof of his mouth. 

Jaskier’s voice was soft as he spoke, the air from his words interrupting the steam drifting up from his mug, “Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm,” Geralt leaned in just a hair. 

“Why did you look up?” Jaskier rested his head on Geralt’s shoulder as he asked and it took Geralt a moment to remember he was supposed to answer.

“I…” he took a deep breath to pull his words together before he mis-stepped, “You stood still and watched me, and looked happy… and I wanted to do that for you… but I started crying again and I-hm. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t want to be there-here. Wherever.”

One of Jaskier’s hands drifted from his mug to Geralt’s thigh, “I was just worried.”

“Didn’t translate, huh?” Geralt asked, giving him a light squeeze. 

“Not quite,” Jaskier chirped, almost giggling. 

Geralt hummed and pressed a kiss to the top of Jaskier’s head, “I’m sorry.” 

“S’okay. Now I know.”

There were a few more moments of silence before Geralt chuckled, “I didn’t realize your hips were so ticklish.” 

Jaskier snorted, an attempt at sipping his tea absolutely aborted to save a spill, “I’ve never been ticklish, Geralt.”

Geralt set his tea on his knee and tilted Jaskier’s chin up to look at him, suddenly concerned, “What didn’t you like about me touching your hips?”

Jaskier’s goofy smile turned a little sly, “Absolutely nothing. In fact,” he started, taking both their half finished teas and setting them on the window sill before turning to envelop Geralt in the blanket with him, pulling him down onto the bed, “I liked it a bit too much.”

[jadedxrealityw]

-Cold- Loki Laufeyson x Female Reader

    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody: First Loki imagine, let’s do this. DISCLAIMER. MOST OF THE DIALOGUE FROM THE CANONICAL CHARACTERS IS TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE MOVIE TO MAKE IT MORE REALISTIC. YOU CAN TELL WHICH PARTS I WROTE AND DIDN’T WRITE. OKAY? okayyyy

   Movie/Show: Thor: Ragnarok- but you somehow know strange. Don’t question me lmao. 

   Summary: while staying with Dr. Strange for a bit, you end up meeting your old friend again, Thor. What you don’t expect is too meet with his adopted brother Loki. Who turns out to be your perfect match (Vague for reasons)

   Possible Triggers / Warnings: Very long story, Slowburn, Steven and Tony being a dad, cursing, Val being kinda great

    ☼-☪-☼

   sometimes being stuck in the avengers base was.....stressful. with Vision being like a newborn baby around everything, you constantly had to help him understand certain things. Like a microwave or a stove since he wanted to learn how to cook for Wanda. Kinda cute actually. 

   you could hear Natasha cry at night about Bruce vanishing during the battle against Ultron. You tried to comfort hr once or twice, but she was adamant about handling it on her own. You wish you could have helped more. It’s not like you could hug her without layers of clothing covering almost every inch of your skin.

   oh yeah, the whole reason you were even there is because Tony Stark had found you with Wanda and Pietro. You were slightly different from them, no telekinesis, telepathy, or enhanced agility and reflexes. Your mercular DNA was ripped apart then put back together with enhancements, unique ones. 

   your body was now able to freeze anything with just a touch and manipulate it, but with all powers. There were side effects. You couldn’t touch anyone without giving them frostbite. Your powers were too much for you too handle so your body was constantly below freezing. 

   it was terrible. You had lived so long without the feeling of another's skin on yours. You could never, hug, hold someone's hand, kiss, do....that. You were condemned to a life of touch starvation. It sucked, but you still kept a smile on your face. 

   during a errand run in new york you had met Steven Strange. You had recognized him from his work as a doctor and gave him your condolences for his accident. He seemed to take some sort of interest in you, which you later figured out that he knew you had your ‘enhancements’ from the news. 

   he explained to you that with his help he may be able to train you to keep your body temperature at a normal human one. You were a bit off put by his offer and he gave you a simple address in case you changed your mind and with that. You left. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   a month later

   “Tony it’s just for a little while-”

   “No! your running off with some rando voodoo doctor who could kill you and steal your kidneys!”

   your face twinges a bit in confusion. You had told everyone that you’d be leaving for awhile and they all wished you luck on your solo adventure. You had also decided to wait till the actual day you were leaving to tell Tony. He was a tad overprotective of you when it came to strangers. 

  “He’s not going to steal my kidneys- Tony my car is waiting i have to go” you say as you pick up the bag you had dropped on the floor as the whole ordeal again. “Didn’t know you had such little trust in me” he exhales deeply, pressing a finger to his temple in visible frustration. 

   “I do trust you. I don’t trust the world outside of these walls” Tony admits. you will confess, you liked his weird fatherly side. “Well- the world as you call it can freeze if they touch me. You have to let me do things on my own Tony” you give him a half smile. 

   Tony expression turns into his thinking one, which is either a good or a very bad thing. He digs into his pocket and pulls out what looks like a jewelry box “Are you trying to bribe me with diamond earrings?” you ask, slightly unimpressed with him. 

   he rolls his eyes and lifts the lid. You see a silver necklace with a star pendant. You could faintly see a small blue crystal in the middle. It reminded you of his reactor, Clever. It was still technically a bribe, but it was indeed a beautiful necklace.

   “No. I made this about a month ago and could never think of the right time. It’s a necklace with a beacon. If you need help press the blue button under the silver lid and i’ll come get and save you. Like always” Tony finishes his sentence off with a smirk, which makes you chuckle. 

   you reach and grab the box with your gloved hand “Thank you, Tony” you say and pull the necklace out the box. You undo the clasp and wrap it around your neck, clasping it back. Tony gives you his proud dad smile and pats your shoulder “If this witch man is able to help you. I get to be your first hug”

   you break out into laughter, nodding “Of course” you say and he chuckles along with you. You hear a honk from outside “I’m coming. Chill out Happy!” you shout. Tony gulps and waves you off “Go ahead, i’m not keeping you any longer.” he says. 

   smiling, you sling the bag over your shoulder and nod at him “I’ll see you soon Tony” you say and turn around, heading out the door and towards the car waiting outside. Happy rolled down the window, same unhappy expression on his face “what took you so long!”

   rolling your eyes, you open the passenger door and throw your bag on the car floor before hoping in. “You know Tony, stubborn as ever” you reply, closing the door. Happy replies with a small hum before starting up the car. You pull out the card with the address and hand it to Happy.

   Tony watched you walk out, his face dropping a bit “Come back home kiddo”

    ☼-☪-☼

   two weeks later

   in your short time with Strange he showed you the most incredible things that you never knew. It also hurt your brain to think about how big the multiverse really was, but Strange was able to explain it in simple terms. He had also given you a meditation regiment that you followed everyday.

   it was supposed to help you calm your mind enough that you could force your body to warm up. It hasn’t changed anything so far, but Strange said it was normal. While reading a novel across from Strange who was- looking out a window. “Great” he grumbles under his breath.

   you lower the book, sliding the juice bar stamp card you used as a bookmark between the pages. “Is something wrong?” you ask, tilting your head. Strange’s eyebrows furrow “Someone who isn’t supposed to be here. Is here. Along with his slightly intelligent brother”

   what- “I don’t follow?” you say as he makes his way downstairs. You quickly jump out the chair and go to follow him. In a quick movement his cloak unclipped from his body and stopped in front of you, blocking your movements “Um Strange?” you call out.

   he stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns his head to look at you “You stay here. If there is a fight it could be dangerous” he spoke. “I can help fight with my ability-” he holds up his hand, stopping you from talking. It reminded you of Tony a little bit. 

   “That is the exact reason you need to stay. Using your powers could throw off what you have worked for so far” he spoke. Sighing deeply, you nod “Okay, i’ll stay. I promise” you say to reassure him. Strange nods and his cloak returns to him, clipping back on. 

   “Thank you” he says and lifts his arms up, he starts performing what you assume is a spell while mumbling under his breath. It lasted a couple seconds before he walked off to the lower floor. You had to ask him how he did certain spells like that portal one, just to mess with Steve. 

   you heard your stomach grumble and sighed “Strange needs to invest in a fucking microwave. I want a hot pocket so bad” 

     ☼-☪-☼

   you guilt tripped wong into magic-ing a microwave in the sanctum. Poor dude, but hey- hot pocket. You also changed out of your pjs because wong said you were ‘lazy’ what a tool. You did anyway and ended up wearing a long sleeve black turtleneck, matching gloves with heather grey and white plaid pants. 

   As you took your last bite you heard talking, but not just Stranges voice, a deeper one. Sounded somewhat familiar, but you couldn’t quite recognize it fully. It came from downstairs. You look at the steps and bit your bottom lip, thinking. Strange told you to stay, but-

   screw it

   slowly you step down, making sure it didn’t creak too loud and alarm Strange to your presence. Once you made it all the way down the voices stopped. What the hell? Oh wait they were coming from the first floor now. Was Strange just teleporting throughout sanctum.

   yes

   the talking got louder and you peaked around the corner. First you spotted Strange, twisting a strange of hair in his hands? He ended up throwing it in the air and it created a portal. Okay then. Then when you looked beside him, you saw- no, it can’t be.

   “Thor?!”

   you ran down the stairs, tripping over your feet a bit. The god turned around and smiled upon seeing you “Lady Y/n! It has been quite some time. You have grown indeed!” he says. You nod, almost reaching out to hug him, but stopped. Thor noticed and gave you a sad smile.

   “I thought i told you to stay upstairs?” Strange spoke. You chuckle nervously and gesture to Thor “I haven’t seen him in a long time. I’m sorry” you say. Strange looks like he wants to stay mad at you but exhales deeply “Your forgiven, under the circumstances”

   you smile brightly. Strange was a pretty cool guy. You turn away from him and back at Thor “So, what’s going on? Why are you back on earth? What happened to figuring out your vision and going back to asgard?” you ask a multitude of questions. 

   Thor shakes his head “My witch of a brother has hidden my father on earth and i need to get him back. This wizard has offered me help in return that i take Loki back to asgard where he belongs.” Thor explains. You nod slowly, you had never met the god of mischief himself, only heard stories.

   “Loki is here?” you ask and gaze around the room. 

   you heard Strange gasp before lifting his arms “Oh yeah right” he swirls his hands as a portal forms on the ceiling. A distant scream was heard before a man with long black hair and a matching suit popped out and crashed onto the floor, Loki. 

   Loki slowly lifts his head, whipping his hair out of his face and propping himself up on his elbows “I have been falling, for thirty minutes!” he shouts. Damn- thirty minutes? “That’s cold Strange and that’s a lot coming from me” you say, making Thor snicker a bit. 

   “You can handle it from here?” Strange nods towards Thor who does the same, reaching over to shake his hand. “Thank you very much for your help” Loki lifts himself off the floor and turns to look a Strange, glaring daggers at him. “Handle me?” he snaps, venom lacing his tone.

   Oh! Look actual daggers. Oh wait- Loki came towards Strange and in an instant your eyes turned a bright white, no pupils and your skin turned an icy white, with the nose and tips of your ears and fingers a light blue. You stepped in front of strange as cold fog emitted from your hands. 

   you were breathing heavily which came out as fog as well. Thor had seen you like this before so this was pretty normal for him.  Strange stared at you for a moment, just blinking. He had seen this before- “Don’t touch the wizard” you breathed out. 

   Loki’s angered face turned into a smug look “And who do you think you are to challenge me, mortal?” he questions, drawing closer towards you. Before any harm could be done to either of you, Thor stepped between, looking at his brother “Brother, you will not harm Lady Y/n. She is a friend”

   aw how sweet. Loki takes another look at you before his daggers retreat “Fine” he grumbles. Your skin turns back to its normal S/c and your pupils return “Thanks Thor” you say and he nods at you. Strange coughed before gesturing to the portal. 

   Thor exhales before smiling lightly “Right. Thank you so much for your help again and it was lovely to see you Lady Y/n” he spoke. You smile “Just Y/n is fine. I hope you find what your looking for” you spoke. You couldn’t imagine what you’d do if Tony went missing. Thor must have been going crazy.

   “You’ll have to tell me all about it once you get back Y/n” Strange spoke suddenly, making you turn your head to face him once again with a confused expression. “What are you talking about?” you ask. Thor steps beside you while Loki stood s a few feet behind both of you.

   “Oh you’ll be going along with them” Strange spoke casually as he began to make his way up the stairs. What the hell? “Um- why?! What about my regiment?” you question. Strange stops at the top of the stairs and faces the three of you, hands behind his back. 

   he studies your face, then Thor’s, then Loki. “Trust me” is all he says before disappearing into a portal of his own. You blinked mindlessly for a couple seconds “Uh-” “Lady Y/n- i mean just Y/n. I suppose you’ll be accompanying me and my brother. Once we return to asgard, will send you home.”

   you looked at Thor, thinking. Should you go? You had never been to another planet before, so you were completely unaware of what was too possibly happen. Even if you were afraid of the unknown, you could not pass up this opportunity “Let’s go”

   Thor pats your clothes back and smiles “Alright, into the mystic portal we go!” he cheers, making you chuckle. “Not only am i stuck with my oaf of a brother, but also some mortal quim” Loki snarls from behind you. Oh isn’t he a breath of fresh air “Yeah, cry about it antlers”

   yikes, you’ve been around tony too much. 

   Loki’s fist clench before all three of you walk through the portal.

   you all ended up in a grassy field. It was beautiful. The smell of the sea nearby filled your nose, causing a calm feeling to course through you. “I don’t see father” Thor spoke, looking around. You gaze about as well and spot a man at the edge of the field. 

   placing a glove hand on Thor, you tap him. The god looks at you as you point at Odin. Thor sighs deeply “Let’s go Loki” he spoke and waved for this brother to follow. You stayed put as Loki passed you, his arm grazing yours for a moment. There is like so much field to walk around you, but okay-

   You turn around and began to walk in the other direction, giving them some space. It wasn’t your business to put yourself into their family drama. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   You walk mindlessly for a couple minutes, making sure to stay relatively close to the brothers and his father. You stop and look at them for a moment just as Odin had turned to a fine gold powder/dust and blew away into the sky. Oh no- Odin, he’s dead. 

   just before you could even think another thought the sky began to crack in thunder. From the distance you were at you could Thor’s fingers spark up as he turned towards Loki. Oh god he’s going to kill him. Your previous thoughts of not getting involved were thrown out as you began to run towards them.

   you couldn’t let Thor hurt his brother, he would surely regret it later. A green energy ball formed couple feet in front of you, stopping you from running towards the brothers. You had stopped your feet so harshly it caused you to fall back onto your butt.

   the green energy grew bigger as the brother began to draw close to it. A flash of thunder changed Thor’s clothes into his original asgardian armor and Loki used to Magic to change his to a green leather outfit. Seemed very Loki-ish. The energy stopped forming and you were sure that Thor or Loki couldn’t see you. 

   just as fast as the green energy appeared, it vanished to reveal the back of a women, she had long black hair and a matching outfit. Who was this? That didn’t matter right now considering Thor look liked he was ready to fight which means that you had to be. 

   “So he’s gone?” the woman spoke, referring to Odin you presumed. She gazes around for a moment before looking back at the boys “Such a shame, i would have liked to have seen that” she said. Oh- well that’s just rude. “You must be Hela” Thor spoke. So that was her name.

   “I’m Thor, son of odin” he continued. He just had to introduce himself right now? How formal of him. You slowly began to stand up. This woman had not noticed you, which means you had the upper hand. “Really?” she asked, a amused tone present within her voice.

   “You don’t look like him” Hela adds. you thought Thor looked like Odin- just a tad. Why are you thinking about this right now. “Perhaps we can come to an arrangement?” Loki spoke. Well at least Thor isn’t trying to kill Loki right now. Now that you think about it Hela and Loki kind of looked alike. 

   Hela lifts her arm a bit to pint at Loki, before dropping it to her side a second later “You sound like him” she says before taking a step closer “Kneel” she commands. “Beg your pardon?” Loki leans forward as if he had not heard what he had just said. Uh oh. 

   Hela’s arm twist, a long blade forming in her hand. “Kneel...before your queen” she repeats once more. Queen?!. You take a deep breath, pupils disappearing, skin turning white and blue, and fog emitting from your hands. Let’s do this. Thor takes a step forward, gazing at you for only a second “I don’t think so”

   Loki took a glance at Thor. You both knew what the god of thunder was about to do. Thor lifts his arm and throws his hammer at Hela, but- she caught it. She caught Thor’s hammer?! Oh shit. Both Loki and Thor’s face turn into a grim and confused one. 

   “It’s..not possible” Thor spoke in disbelief. “Darling, you have no idea what’s possible” Hela spoke before squeezing her hand around Mjollnir. She was crushing the hammer. In a split second a burst of electricity and wind was sent everywhere. 

   you lift your arm and cover your face to protect your eyes. Once it died down you move your arm and saw Thor’s hammer in pieces on the grass. What was she? Who was she? Hela lifted her arms to her head and slid them back along the base of her skull, forming a large spiked crown. 

   she repeated her hand movements from earlier except with both her arms. Two blades in each hand. You had to move now. You close your palms together and pull them apart, an ice spear forming in between. You ran up to her and jumped in the air to get a higher advantage. 

   “Y/n, no!” Thor shouts as he runs up to Hela as well. Loki looks up in the sky and shouts “Bring us back!” Hela turns around quickly and spots you running towards her. Just as you were about to land on her, she grabs your neck. “Now who are you?” she asked. but you didn’t answer. 

   instead you rip a glove off one of your hands and press it to her face. Hela screams in agony and throws you towards Thor. You landed on him with hard thud. That’s going to hurt in the morning. Suddenly a portal formed around all three of you and sent you into the sky. It was the same one Thor usually left on. 

   Your body felt weird all over like you were about to vomit or pass out- maybe both. You looked up and saw Thor a few feet up above you and you assumed Loki was under you. Thor looks down at you, then Loki “Loki!” he shouts and the black haired god looks under him, you so as well. 

   Hela was just behind you all “She wasn’t even in the portals range!” you shout, earning now answer from either brothers. Lok reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a small blade. He lifts his arm and chucks it at her, but she dodges it easily and sends it flying back towards Loki.

   Loki had another blade in hand and used that one to dodge the other hela threw at him, but it sent him flying out the portal “Y/n! follow loki! I’ll find you both. I promise!” Thor shouts and without a second thought you use your spear to stab into the portal and push yourself out. 

   sometimes you wished you thought about things first. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   your head was throbbing and aching in the worst way possible, like you had crashed into a wall. Your eyes slowly open and you see a regular sky with purple portals spread throughout it- okay maybe not so normal. “Hands off of me you mewling quim!” you know that complaining tone from anywhere. 

   you push yourself off the ground, using some random junk metal to lean on. Looking around you would think you were in some junk yard. No time to wonder where you were because you had a god to help. You push things out your way before you spot what looked like scavengers, mostly wearing masks.

   they were holding onto Loki’s arms. Couldn’t he just use his magic? Guess not. Anyway, you jump down from the ledge your on, catching most of their attention “We just got on this planet and your already pissing the natives off?” you question Loki.

   he narrows his blue eyes at you as he struggles against the people holding his arms “Get on with it!” he shouts at you. No please? Whatever. You activate your powers, slowly pulling the other glove off of your hand “Hand over the god will you?” 

   “You’ll have to get through all of us!” one man shouts. They hold up their weapons at you making you sigh “Alright, have it your way” you shrug, flicking your hand, a dark blue blade with a silver handle forming in the palm of your hand. 

   the scavengers ran towards you. One swung a club at you, but you caught his arm in your hand. The man screams in agony as his whole arm turns black with frostbite. You take that opportunity to slice his now very crunchy arm off. Then it’s kind of a rinse and repeat for the rest of them until one is left. 

   The man lets go of Loki and begins to run away. Good choice. Loki drops to the ground, trying to catch his breath “Why did you follow me?” Loki asked suddenly. You look down at him and shrug “Thor asked me to in the portal. He said he’d come find us” you explain.

    you pull out the extra pair of gloves from your back pocket and slipped them on. They were a plain black leather pair. Once they were on, you hold out your hand for him to take. Loki takes one look at your hand and scoffs before standing up himself. Rude. 

   “If my brother went off to fight Hela alone. He’s most likely dead already” Loki says curtly as he dusts off his outfit. Your eyes widen a bit. Thor wasn’t dead, he couldn’t be. “Who is she anyway?” you ask. Loki’s jaw locks, glancing at the ground before you 

   “Our sister”

   your E/c eyes went wider this time. Since when did Thor have a sister? Was she adopted too? She claery had a disdain for her father just as much as Loki did. Maybe Thor was the one who was actually adopted. “Oh- wow” you comment.

   “Enough about my family. I have to figure out what planet i’m on” Loki interjects as he begins to walk away “Hey! Whether you like it or not we’re in this together, I could have left your ass to die, remember that!” you shout at him. His walking stops and he faces you once more- oh shit. 

   he steps towards you and you back up until a piece of debris. Loki stops inches from your face, his hand reaching up to your neck to hold it in his hand “Don’t assume for a moment that you and i are some sort of friends like you are with my brother” he speaks lowly. 

   you glare right back at him “Let go of me before i put a icicle through your eye” you snarl at him. A small smirk forms on his face “You put up this illusion that you are as tough as nails, but i can see right through you. Your just as broken as the rest of us. Let’s explore that shall we?”

   Loki reaches up and places his hand on your forehead. 

    ☼-☪-☼

  two years ago

   Loki opened his eyes and looked around the room. Where was he? He was in the darkest memories of your mind.  “Put her in the chamber” Strucker spoke as three men went over to grab a pale woman on the floor. You. You were wearing a hospital gown and your hair was overgrown. 

   you flaid, kicked, and screamed “Please! No! i’ll try harder i swear! Please!” when you had first developed your powers and the doctors realized they couldn’t touch you Strucker thought you had been doing it on purpose. So mean with full body suits would put you in a heat chamber. 

   the intense heat had a even stronger effect on you because of your unique enhancement. Strucker opens the door as the three men throw you in. You land on the ground with a hard thud and stand up quickly, running towards the door but it had already shut. 

   Strucker stands outside the glass window that showed you inside and looked towards a woman sitting at the desk “Turn it on, the highest it can go” he spoke and she nods, pressing a green button before pushing a dial up. Loki looks confused for a moment as he stands beside strucker. 

   the room starts to heat up and you fall to the ground your tears sizzling as they ran down your face. At the moment Loki took a step back. Heat exhaustion. A form of torture he knew all to well. something he hoped to never witness again. You let out screams of agony until you eventually passed out.

   back in 2012 when earth was attack by Loki he was under the control of Thanos who had kidnapped him and tortured him with the same methods because of his Jotun side. It worked nonetheless and he was under Thanos’s control. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki opened his eyes and snatched his hand away from your head. You slid down against the debris until you hit the ground with a small thud. He had made you relive your worst fears like it had just happened only moments ago. How could he do such a thing. 

   “I’m so-” before Loki could say another word he felt something bite at his neck. He hissed and reached for his neck and felt something cold and metallic. He tried to tug it off, but instead got harsh bursts of electricity shot through his body over and over again. 

   he fell to the ground, shaking violently, turning his head he saw you. You were holding your face, still shaken up. Loki watched as someone came up to you and hit you with a blunt object, knocking you out cold. Loki reached his hand out to you, but it seemed his body gave up on him and he passed out.

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki awoke with the sound of people talking around him. He went to move his arms first but they were chained behind his back “Oh look he’s awake good! Hello! I’m the grandmaster, ruler of Sakaar.” a man with blue strips on his face spoke and a robe type outfit. 

   “May i ask why i’m in chains?” Loki questions with his usual ‘i could kill all of you’ smirk. The grandmaster shrugs his shoulders “Had to make sure you and your friend weren’t hostile. It’s only temporary of course” He says. Friend? Who was he talking about? Y/n.

   Loki looked around instantly, trying to find you of course “Oh yes, she’s currently in the infirmary Our scraper hit her a bit too hard. Anyway, whats your name?” the grandmaster asked, gesturing to the scraper next to him. Some random girl with light brown skin and white markings over her face.

   he would kill her later.

   “Loki of asgard, god of mischief” he spoke, giving his best presentable grin. The grandmaster laughs. Rude “God of mischief, how spooky. Tell me god of pranks, did you fight on asgard?” he questions. Loki raises a brow. What was this man playing at?

   “i was used for my intelligence more then my strength. Battle plans, strategies, political consultant and such” Loki explains, slightly lying out of his ass. the grandmaster looked impressed, at least that’s what Loki thought. How would we get out of this one? 

   “Hm. Well- you will be spared from fighting in the contest of champions as well as your lady friend. As long as you swear your undying loyalty to me and my planet” The Grandmaster stands up from his chair and walks to Loki. He waves his hand at one of the guards.

   the guard beside Loki reached down to uncuff his hands and took off his neck chip. Loki shrugged them off before standing up, rubbing his wrists. The Grandmaster stood in front of him with his hand out. Loki gave him a grin and grabbed his hand, shaking it “I swear” he spoke. 

  the Grandmaster smile before his eyes trail him up and down “How bout we get you into some yellow. green’s a bit tacky”

   “Pardon?”

    ☼-☪-☼

   later that night

   a guard escorted Loki to his accommodations in his new green and yellow suit. “Green is not tacky, it’s a very classy color. What a moron” he grumbles under his breath. Once the door open, he stepped inside and looked around. (similar to Hulks, but dark green and white)

   it’ll do for now. He only got to take one step before he was pushed against a wall, something cold and sharp jabbed at the side of his neck, pressing firmly but not enough to break skin “Oh- it’s just you” a voice spoke. Yours. Loki looked down at you. 

   your head had a bandage around it and your top was missing leaving you in a black sports bra and your plaid pants from earlier. loki couldn’t help but notice your delectable figure, making him breath heavily “Eyes up here you son of a bitch” you snap, pressing the icicle further in his neck.

   Loki looked at your face and notice a bruise forming on your jaw. It made him....angry to say the least, but he couldn’t understand why. “Would you kindly get that out of my face. I just saved us” he says. You give him a ‘what’ face and slowly remove the icicle, your body turning back to normal once again. 

   “How?” you question, walking towards the bed in the center of the room, Loki following “I have made good with Grandmaster so he wont make us compete in some barbaric tournament” he spoke, boosting his own ego really You roll your eyes and take a seat on the bed “How does that help us, were still stuck here”

   Loki scoffs “I just made sure you weren’t going to be killed. You could at least say thank you” you felt a anger boiling within you “Thank you?! You want me to say thank you?! Remember we aren’t friends. I should have stayed with Thor, but for some reason i cant comprehend, he still cares about you”

   Loki felt his chest tighten a bit at your words about his brother. You were right. No matter how much he betrayed Thor he would always be at his side to fight alongside him, but he never admitted it. “I should have used my necklace. I should have never left the base” you thought aloud

   the god looked puzzled “What necklace?” you look at him for a moment then at the ceiling “Tony gave me this necklace with a beacon. I had forgotten all about it until some bitch nurse took it away because it wasn’t aloud. I tried to get it back, but she pushed me into a wall” you replied. 

   Loki looked around the room once more and spotted a conjoining room, before he could say anything you stood up, grabbing your shirt and all of your dignity along with you “Goodnight’ you spoke before walking into said room and slamming the door shut. 

   this was going to suck

    ☼-☪-☼

   ‘Put her in the chamber!’

   no please..

   ‘Your worthless!’

    no i’m not

   you sat up in a cold sweat, more literally then normal. You looked around the room and noticed a cold fog. Turning your head, you look out the window. Pitch black. If you squint hard enough you could see your reflection. Yep white skin You change yourself back.

   the door burst open and standing in the doorway is Loki, hair no longer slicked back but disheveled and wearing a simple black shirt and matching pants. he had daggers in his hands, looking ready for a fight “What are you doing?” you ask.

   Loki looks confused “Why did you scream? I thought you were being attacked” he spoke, annoyance in his voice. You narrow your eyes and turn to your side, facing away from him “Get out” you spoke, not really wanting to see his face. He had no right to ask that. 

   “Pardon-”

   “I said get the hell out!” 

       ☼-☪-☼

   three days later

   you never left the room. To the Grandmaster, you were Loki’s property so he didn’t really care much. The servants came and brought you breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some brought you books to read and others didn’t. You had also been avoiding the god himself. 

   he had tried starting a conversation with you once or twice, but it never really went to his plan. Mostly ending up with you threatening to kill him or you telling him off. Loki was stain in your life all you wanted was to be rid off him and go back home. 

   you had just wrapped a towel around your body, hair dripping from being in the bath. As you went to open the door the god was standing just outside the door, holding a towel in his hand. His blue eyes trailed up and down your body. You pushed past him and walked into your room, shutting the door.

   Loki felt his body tingle in way it hadn’t before. He exhaled deeply before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door 

    ☼-☪-☼

   later that night (again)

   you sat up screaming bloody murder as you gripped your head. Instead of nightmare you had a nighterror instead. Your body was thrashing around like someone was attacking, but no one was. Just like last time Loki opened your door, almost breaking it off the hinges.

   he looked at your state and practically jumped on your bed. His face made him looked..worried? You back away instinctively “No you can’t touch-” Loki cuts you off by wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. How- how was this happening. You couldn’t touch anyone before, why now?”

   you didn’t notice the cold tears running down your face as Loki rubbed your back in soothing circles “How is this possible? I thought that-” “You can’t touch anyone because of your ability, but...what a i am, what i really am makes me immune to the cold in any form” he explains. 

   so this is what another's skin felt like. Soft, a little different from yours. You pull away a bit and began to touch different parts of his face. You run a finger along the side of his face, making him inhale sharply “what’re doing?” he asked in a low tone. 

   “I have never touched another person with my bare hand. Im curious” you say. Loki sighs and lets you continue your weird- whatever this could be called. After a couple minutes you let go of him, wiping your face “Your still a dick for what you did” you say. 

   Loki sighs, nodding his head ‘I’ve been told, by multiple people. I hope this makes up for it just a little” he says. Hope? You nod once “Yeah, your getting there. Now out antlers i have to sleep” you say, a grin forming on your face. Loki grumbles “That’s just rude”

       ☼-☪-☼

   two weeks later

   “I don’t even like parties” you spoke, looking at the words in your book. “You’ve been cooped up in this room for two whole weeks. You need to try and have some fun” Loki insisted. You look up and him and sighed, damn god. “fine, but no promises i’ll be having any fun. I also have nothing to wear”

   Loki’s smile turned into a grin “stand up” he instructs. You roll your eyes and place the novel down before standing up from your seat “You better not do anything mischievous Loki” you say and he shrugs his shoulders. In a split second your hair was done and your outfit had changed. 

   the top part of the dress was a blue and a tad bronze lined leather that connected with some icy blue tool that made the bottom part. You looked, beautiful. “This doesn’t look like Sakaar attire?” you question, looking from the dress to him. Loki nods once, stepping towards you. 

   “That’s because it isn’t. It’s a tradition asgardian dress” he explains. You hummed in response “Really? I don’t think i do it much justice then” you spoke with a small laugh, turning around to face the large decorative mirror that was behind you. 

   you look at yourself in the dress, touching your face and squeezing your waist a bit. as you do so, Loki walks forward and stops a couple inches behind you. he leans down so his chin his hovering over your shoulder. You could feel his breath on your neck “I think you look lovely. Now, shall we?”

    ☼-☪-☼

   it was a couple hours into the party and Loki was chatting it up with some people. Telling them life stories that he clearly altered to be in his favor while you sat beside him, silent. “And in that moment, i let go” the people around you laughed while you rolled your eyes. 

   “Y/n!”

   “Loki!”

   you and Loki both turn your heads to the right at the sound of your names being called. Oh my gods. Thor?! You stood up quickly, Loki following you hesitantly “Excuse me for a second”. “Loki, over here!” Thor yells again, catching the attention of a few people. 

   Loki stood in front of his brother while you were beside Thor in the chair “Shh, Shh. Shut up!” Loki snapped in a hushed tone. “What?” Thor replied in the same hushed tone. “Your alive?” Loki looks his brother up and down while Thor just looked confused “Ah yes of course i’m alive!” 

   “What’re you doing here?” Loki questions. “What do you mean ‘what am i doing?’ I’m stuck in this stupid chair! Where’s your chair!?” Thor asked, making you stifle a chuckle. “We didn’t get a chair” Loki says, waving his hand towards you. 

   Thor glances at you for a moment and you give hima half smile before he turns back to his brother. “Well get me out of this one” Thor commands, struggling against the metal clasps that held his arms in place. “I can’t” Loki replies. What? Why couldn’t he help him?

   “Get me out!”

   “I can’t”

   “What?”

   Loki points into a random direction “I made friends with this man. he’s called the Grandmaster-” he explains. Oh yeah- the whole loyalty thing. Thor shakes his head “What’re you crazy?!” Thor accuses. You asked yourself that sometimes. “-I’ve gained his favor. The bifrost spat me out here weeks ago”

   “He thinks i’m Loki’s property, so yeah your right. Crazy”

   where has Thor been these past two and a half weeks? Thor looked extremely confused now “Weeks ago?! I- i just got here” he tries to say. You look up and see the face of the Grandmaster across from you “Oh shit!” you jump, holding onto the glass in your hand. 

   “What’re we whispering about?” he says with that creepy guard lady behind him, holding the melt stick as he called it. Thor jumps up at the sound of his voice ‘Uh Ah!” he shouts while Loki grabs your arm and pulls you a few steps back from Thor along with him. 

   “Time works real different around these parts” He starts, turning the records on his dj table? I don’t know. “On any other world i’d be like millions and millions  years old, but here on Sakaar” he finished explaining then just smiled expectantly like he was waiting for someone to say something. 

   you felt Loki tighten his grip on your arm a bit. What’s got him so tense? Loki opened his mouth to speak, but closed it right after. the Grandmaster waves his hand “In any case you know this uh- this uh. What do you call yourself? Lord of thunder?”

   “God of thunder” you and Thor say at the same time. Thor nods towards the Grandmaster “Tell him” he says to Loki. the black haired god begins to laugh nervously “i’ve never met this man in my life” he says, pointing to Thor for a brief moment “Loki!” you say, hitting his shoulder. What a dick. 

   Loki looked at you with a ‘what’ face. “He’s my brother!”Thor growls, mostly upset because of Loki. “Adopted” Loki interjects, making you hit him again. The Grandmaster looks up for a moment “Is he any kind of a fighter?” he asked. It’s Thor- duh. 

   Thor begins to laugh irritably “You take this thing out of my neck and i’ll show you” he threatens. You sigh deeply. Men am i right. The Grandmaster laughs along with him “Oh look at that he’s threatening me” he coos like Thor was some sort of baby. 

   “Hey sparkles-” the Grandmaster starts, making thor struggles against the chair once more “-you want to get back to ass..place. Ass berg-” he says. Oh he did not just say that. “Asgard!” You and Thor shout in unison. Loki gives you another look “Oh shut up your not helping, Loki”

   “-any contender who defeats my champion there freedom they shall win” you had heard about the Grandmaster’s contender =, but had never saw him. He was supposedly undefeated, but this is Thor were talking about here. “Fine! Then point me in the direction to whoever's ass i have to kick!”

   the Grandmaster smile and waves his fingers at Thor “That’s what i call contender” he says excitedly before lifting up this remot like object “The direction that would be in this way lord” he presses a button and Thor’s chair begins to move away. 

   “Loki!” Thor shouts. You pull yourself out of Loki’s grip and lift the bottom of your dress off the floor so you could run up to the chair. You face Thor and smile “I’m going to get you out okay?” you say before two guards grab both of your arms. Damn- they had gloves on. 

   “Remove your arms from Lady Y/n you buffoons!” Thor shouts before he disappears around the corner. You struggle against there grip for a second before managing to rip your arm from one of them. Your skin turned it’s icy white and blue and your pupils vanished. 

   just as you formed a icicle, someone grabbed your arm. You looked at who it was and saw Loki. “Think for a moment before you kill somebody. Now let’s go” he didn’t give a chance to reply before dragging you out the party hall. What a hypocrite honestly. He killed people all the time. 

       ☼-☪-☼

   “You are insufferable, you know that!” you shout as Loki closes the door to your shared room “I’m insufferable!? You almost got yourself killed and for what?!” Loki shouts back. “To tell Thor that everything was going to work out. All you did was make it worse Loki. That’s all you ever seem to do!”

   Loki’s jaw clenched, his hands tightening into a fist “Don’t talk as if you know me!” he snaps at you. Loki walks up to you and pushes you up against the wall, his hand grabbed both of yours and held them over your head. Kinky- not now, just not now. 

    “Oh screw you and your I’m misunderstood bullshit! You left Thor hanging out to dry again and in the end of it all he still called out for your name! You know one day Thor is going to give up on you and your going to wish you had at least tried to be a good brother”

   Loki was breathing heavily as his blue eyes bore deep within your very soul. He looked at your face, studying every inch you had to offer. In a quick motions he dips down closer, his lips centimeters away from yours. Loki’s face scrunches up. He was debating in his hand. A battle in his own mind if you will. 

   he backs away from you, letting go off your hands “If you want to talk to my brother, follow me” he says and heads back towards the door. You felt almost disappointed that he didn’t keep going. Was that wrong? 

    ☼-☪-☼

   in the end you and Loki could not physically find away into the holding room that Thor and the other contenders were in, but Loki said he could create an illusion of you both to talk to him. As long as you got to see Thor “Ready?” Loki asked and you nodded once.  

   you only blink once and suddenly your in this brown, dirty, circular shaped room. What a mess. “Odin-” you heard someone speak dn turned to your left to see Thor. He was kneeling over some homemade shrine.  “I bid you take your place in the halls of Valhalla-” he spoke. 

   it was probably a some sort of prayer they used after a loved one has died. “- Where the brave shall live forever. Where thine enemies have been vanquished, Nor shall we mourn but rejoice” this what heartbreaking to hear honestly. Thor was always the toughest guy you knew and now you were witnessing this.

   everyone has feelings though. Even witches like Loki

   “For those who have died The glorious death” Loki chimed in with Thor. The god of thunder turns around and sits against the wall “Lady Y/n” he nods towards you. You give him a small smile “Hey” you reply. “Hurts doesn’t it, being lied too?” Loki started. Oh for fucks sake. 

   “Being told your one thing then learning it’s all a fiction” Thor looked at the ground before picking up a rock and tossing it in Loki’s direction. The rock went straight through Loki, making him chuckle lightly “I mean- you didn’t think i really come and see you did you? This place is disgusting” Loki gestures to the floor.

   you sigh deeply “There were guards outside- after my stunt at the party. i’m not allowed out anywhere without Loki” you explained “That’s quite alright lady Y/n. I understand. Those men didn’t hurt you, did they?” Thor asks, grabbing another rock from the floor. You shake your head “No, of course not”

   “Good” Thor replies, throwing the rock through Loki’s face “One less person i have to kill before we leave this place” he says. Still over protective of you. Some things never change though do they? “Does this mean you don’t want my help?” Loki asked, noticing how Thor only addressed you. 

   “where did you offer help in any of the words you just spoke?” You question. Loki didn’t reply to you though. Petty bitch. “I couldn’t jeopardize our-” “-Your, don’t pretend to care about lady Y/n” Thor interjected. Loki sighed before continuing. thor had clearly touched a nerve. 

   “our position with the Grandmaster. Took me time to win his trust. He's a          lunatic, but he can be amenable.” Loki replied. You shake your head “Is everyone amenable to you, Loki?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. Loki glances at you for a moment “No”

   Thor lifted another rock from the ground and threw it through Loki’s face “What I'm telling you is, you could join me at the Grandmaster's side. Perhaps, in time, an accident befalls the Grandmaster, and then...” Loki points to his brother mouthing ‘you then you ‘Y/n’ then himself ‘me’

   “Oh wow- you really do suck” you say going over to Thor and pointing at a rock “Can you throw that rock for me?” you ask and he simply nods with a smile before picking it up and throwing it at him. You smile lightly. Good friend things. You look at Loki who takes a step forward.

   “You're not seriously thinking of going back, are you?“ he asked with a questioning look. “i would” you mumble before stepping backwards. Thor looks like he had just been punched in the face, but had his hands folded casually. Thor was stubborn. 

   “Our sister destroyed your hammer like a piece of glass.“ Loki says, holding his hands out. “She's stronger than all of us. She's stronger than you“ he adds. No offense, but you definitely could’ve done some damaged if Thor had not shouted your name back at the field and alerted her to you. 

   “You don't stand a chance. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?” Loki’s tone gets more aggressive while Thor just scowls at him “Loki” you say, trying to get him to shut up. After a couple seconds Loki lets out a bitter laugh “Fine” he says. 

   “I guess I'll just have to go it alone. Like I've always done.”

   Loki’s comment makes Thor smirk. One that Loki notices “Would you say something?” Loki asked. You sigh deeply. Why do you feel as if there was going to be yelling? Anyway- Thor stays silent, looking at the ground for more stones he could throw at Loki. 

   “Say something!” Loki shouts in a louder tone

   and he does “What would you like me to say?” Thor starts. This felt awkward, being there you mean. “You stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power,          stranded him on Earth-” Loki went to say something, but Thor keeps talking “-To die, releasing the goddess of death”

   “he didn’t know that would happen Thor-” you say, but are quickly shut up just as Loki was “Have I said enough, or do you do you want me to go further back than the past two days?” Thor asked. You look at Loki who looks like he’s holding back tears at his brother cold stare. 

   nonetheless, he composes himself “You know, I haven't seen this               Beloved Champion he talks of, but I've heard he's astonishingly savage. I've placed a large wager against you tomorrow. Don't let me down.” he spoke as his illusion starts to vanish. Your time is almost up.

   you look at Thor as he lifts a glass bottle from the ground and throws it at the wall where Loki was. “Thor, your going to do great out there. I’ll be watching” you spoke and gave him a small smile. Thor looks at you and nods “Goodbye” you said and just as you blinked you were standing next to Loki. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   you both walked back to your room in silence. Loki looked awful. Like he wanted to breakdown at any moment. You felt bad for him. He had lost both his parents, just as you had. You could relate to some of his pain. so you should try to comfort him, right?

   when the door shut behind you both, you reached up and placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder “Loki- i’m sorry about Odin. I know you say you love him like Thor does, but he had to have meant something to you” you spoke as calmly as you could.

   Loki’s body tensed under your touch “I never stopped loving my father” he says, which surprises you “He raised me I was just so angry that they lied about me. I was never truly there child” he spoke, his voice beginning to waver. 

   “Odin and Frigga took you in as their own. They didn’t care that you weren’t biologically there’s. They gave you a home when no one else did Loki. That’s what being a parent is.” you spoke and left go of his shoulder “You can have some time alone. I’ll be in my room” 

   you walk past the god and towards your door, “Thank you, Y/n. How did you know what to say?” Loki spoke, making you turn around “Just what i wished someone had told me when avengers came to save me” you shrug and walk into the room, shutting the door. 

       ☼-☪-☼

   “I can’t believe you put a wager against your brother” You said, walking alongside Loki. wearing another tradition asgardian dress that Loki had picked out for you. It was another icy blue dress that had a soft brown leather as the straps. iIt was flowy and had a slit down the side. 

   “It was only a joke” He replies, holding your hand as you walked through the crowds of people. The Grandmaster had invited you and Loki to watch Thor’s fight from the ‘Grandmasters box’ stupid bastard and his stupid terms. As you walk, you pass by where the contenders are being held. Thor. 

   you didn’t have time “Will seen him soon. I can tell your worried about him” Loki spoke, squeezing your hand softly. “Thor was one of the first people to help me when i got out of Hydra. I owe him everything” you say. Loki sighs deeply before you both continue walking.

   as you drew closer you were able to hear the cheers and roars of the crowd. jeez it’s just a bunch of idiots fighting- go watch some Tv or something. Suddenly you heard the Grandmaster speak. What a loser this guy was. Thinking that you were just some mans property. 

   “ow! Look at all of you. What a show, WHAT-A-NIGHT! Who's having fun? Please, I'm your host. Big round of applause for all of our undercard competitors who died so gruesomely. Good sports. What a show! What a night! This is what you've come for and so have I.”

   when he finished speaking is when you and Loki entered the very bright room, filled with different people from different worlds. Bruce would have love to see this, sometimes you forget he’s gone. You just hoped that you’d find out what happened to him one day. 

   Loki leads you  towards the front, skillfully grabbing two drinks and handing one to you. What a gentlemen- wait no. Damnit. “Making his first appearance, though he looks quite promising, got a couple of tricks up his sleeve. I'll say no more, see what you think. Ladies and gentlemen...”

   you look down from the glass and see a latch lifting up. That has to be him. “I give to you...Lord of Thunder!” the Grandmaster shouts. You smile as your eyes landed on Thor “Oh my god they cut his hair!” you exclaim “It’s just hair” Loki replies, taking a sip from his drink. 

   you scoff “Okay, let me cut yours” you say and he glares “I’d rather die” he says and you nod “Told you so” the crowd was booing Thor, along with a couple people next you. “Oh screw yourselves” you grumble under your breath. Loki wraps his free arm around your waist and pulls you flush to his side.

   “Try to behave darling, will you?” Loki leans down to whisper into your ear. You feel a tingling feeling in your stomach. Was he using his magic on you. “Yeah yeah, whatever” you huff, earning a smirk from the god holding you “That’s a good girl” he says- and there goes the stomach again.

   you both turn back to watch Thor as he walks to the center of the arena. “Watch out for his fingers. They make sparks.” the Grandmaster says, making you roll your eyes at his statement. Thor puts a helmet on his head and pulls the small latch down. 

   The Grandmasters hologram began to rub his hands together “Okay, this is it. Let's get ready to welcome this guy. Here he comes. He is a creature. What can we say about him? Well, he's unique. There's none like him. I feel a special connection with him.” he gets the crowd riled up. 

   green bombs of dust or some kind of pigment begin to explode in the sky and over the crowd. “He's undefeated. HE'S THE REIGNING...HE'S THE DEFENDING...Ladies and gentlemen... I give you...” he spoke in broken sentences. Now he was getting you scared. 

   the door begins to open from the other side. It only happened halfway when it was smashed through by some green, big, angry...Hulk?! You feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders “Bruce?” you whisper to yourself, almost dropping the glass in your hand. 

   Loki on the other hand turned paler then he already was and let go of you “I have to get off this planet” he spoke and turned around to leave the room, but the Grandmaster was right behind him “Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going?” he questions, but Loki has no words. Neither do you. 

   the Grandmaster leads you both to the long couch and you and Loki sit side by side. You could hear Bruce screaming Hulk into the crowd. What was going on? Thor suddenly turns from the Hulk to where you guys are “Hey! We know each other. He's a friend from work!” then we went to talk to Hulk.

   you didn’t notice your hands were shaking as Loki placed his on top of one yours “Are- are you alright?” he asked and you reach up to wipe away a forming tear “I haven’t seen bruce in two years. I thought he was gone- dead” despite Loki being in fear of his life he gave you a smile. “Well, that’s good”

   “Loki! Y/n! Look who it is!”

   you both look away from each other and look at Thor who was gesturing Hulk to look at Loki. Loki looked like he wanted the world to swallow him up “You’ll be alright. If he does come up here i can protect you. Hulk loves me” you say with a toothy grin. 

   suddenly Hulk charges at Thor “What is he doing?!” you shout as both Thor and Hulk begin to fight each other. This is not according to plan at all. A couple seconds later it looks like Hulk was about to grab Thor's hand “Oh thank god” you mumble to yourself a little too soon. 

   Hulk picked up Thor by his leg and through him repeatedly onto the ground before tossing him to the side. Loki shoots up from his seat “Yes! That's how it feels!” he exclaims. Jeez. You stand up and grab his arm. Loki turns to see the Grandmaster staring at him strangely.

   “I'm just a huge fan of the sport.” Loki explains and the Grandmaster just laughs. You sit Loki down as well as yourself “Real calm and classy there antlers” you say with a small grin. Loki growls under his breath “Really? How ‘bout you let that green moron smash you into the ground”

   you couldn’t help, but laugh “I’m sorry. That sounded so wrong” you say, your mind going to straight to the gutter. Loki looks at you weirdly before cringing “You are a perverted girl” he says. You shrug your shoulders “Yeah whatever. Do something about it” you say jokingly, going back to watching Thor.

   you feel Loki’s hand being firmly placed on your thigh, his other hand sliding behind your back to grip your waist “I can show you what i can do about it later if you so desire” error error Y/n.exe has stopped working. You feel that fluttery feeling in your stomach again. Damn god of teasing.

   you somehow manage to keep your cool and grinned at him “No offense, your highness. You couldn’t handle me” you say. His brow raises in amusement. No one has ever said such a thing to him. Just as he opens his mouth you see in the corner of your eye the Grandmaster pulling out the chip remote.

   he presses the button and Thor falls to the ground. That dirty cheater. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   hours later

   it was after the fight and you were pacing back and forth in your room while Loki sat on the bed “Will you cut that out?” Loki suggested and your skin change quickly. You form a icicle and throw it towards him. He catches it in his hand swiftly “Do not tell me to calm down! That dirty freak cheated!”

   Loki sighs and goes to open his mouth when the door opens. “The Grandmaster has requested your presence Loki of asgard” a guard spoke. Your skin changed back to normal as Loki stood up. You go walk along with him when the guard stops you “Only Loki” he spoke.

   you sigh and nod, giving Loki a small smile. “I’ll be here once you get back” you say and he sighs before leaving with the guard. Now, your stuck here. All alone. You go over to the bed and sit down. The sheets were still messed up from where Loki had slept the night before. 

   why were you thinking about that?

   the door flies open, revealing a brown skinned woman with asgardian armor and white markings on her. “Hello Lady Y/n. Thor asked me to come find you. Noe let’s go” she spoke quickly. You got up instantly and walked to her. Wait “Will be we getting Loki?” you ask

   the woman looks at you for a moment and nods “Yes- later now lets go princess before i’m late for a meeting with the Grandmaster. I heard you can fight by the way so i got you some good clothes to move around in.” you nod as you both alk out the room

    ☼-☪-☼

   the woman, who told you to call her Val had dropped you off at the junkyard, but let you get changed first of course into a black leather warrior outfit. . At first you were confused as why she had dropped you here, but when you saw Thor leaving a quinjet.

   as you ran up to him you saw another person leaving. It was Bruce in Tony’s clothes? “Bruce!” you yell. He turns around and looks at you with a confused stare “Y/n? Your taller and older. Wait- Why are you here?!” he questions. You chuckle and look at Thor “It’s a long story, where are we going?”

       ☼-☪-☼

   with Val and Loki

   both asgardians had just walked out the Grandmasters hall to find and capture Thor and Hulk. They were both walking fast since Loki said he could get them back in one hour. “What have you done?” Loki accuses only full well she had something to do with the escape. 

   Val takes takes one look at him and scowls “I don’t answer to you, lackey” she snaps back. Loki stops and grabs her arm “It’s Loki and you will answer to the Grandmaster” he says. Val pushes off his arm and punches him in the nose. Loki stumbles back a bit and pulls out a Sakaarian blade

   “Why would you help me brother escape with that green fool?” He questions, pointing the blade at her. Val pulls out a blade of her own “I don’t help anyone” she quips back and the two rush each other. Hitting, kicking, dodging, the whole ordeal. at one point Loki grabbed her arm and saw her mark.

   “You're a Valkyrie. I thought the Valkyrie all died gruesome deaths?” he says, knowing it would rile her up and it did. Val escapes from his grip and pushes him against the wall, holding the knife to his throat “Choose your next words wisely” she seethes down at him.

   Loki looks up at her, smug “Terribly sorry. Must be a very painful memory...” and puts his hand on her forehead. Val was taken back to the moment the Valkyrie were sent to fight Hela for the thrown. Val watched them all die again as well as her girlfriend. 

   once she came back she was pushed back onto the floor by Loki. She stands back up quickly and pushes him on the ground, straddling him “You know your majesty, i have some terrible news for you. I went to your little girlfriends room after you left” she started, making Loki’s eyes go wide. 

   “she was a pretty one i’ll give you that. That was until i slit her throat and watched her bleed out” It was Val’s turn to rile Loki up. “Y-Your lying!” Loki shouts, struggling against her. “Oh really?” she says and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a piece of blue tool from your dress, stained with blood. 

   Loki felt his heart drop into his stomach, like he wanted to vomit and cry all at the same time “No...’ he mumbles and grabs the tool from her hand. Val looked stunned for a moment before punching his face and knocking him out. She was not expectantly that kind of reaction from him.  

    ☼-☪-☼

   you, Thor, and Bruce were walking through the crowd of Hulk worshippers basically when Val had found you. She had led you all inside safely. She was a pretty cool gal. You had to get her number after this. Does she have a phone. You all walked down this hall when she stops. 

   Bruce stopped behind thor and you stopped behind Bruce. “Look, I've spent years in a haze trying to forget my past. Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink and forget and to die one day.” Val spoke, making you frown slightly. Thor nods.

    “I was thinking that you drink too much, and that probably was going to kill you.” Thor spoke. Val gave him an annoyed look before walking towards the door “Also, i have a piece offering” she said vaguely before opening the door. Thor walks in first, then Bruce. 

   Once you walk in you noticed Loki, chained up and hanging his head in shame, he was looking at a piece  of tool that rested on the ground in front of him “Brother?” Thor spoke, crouching down to look at his face “Loki are you alright?” he asked 

   “she was so much like me you know, we both didn’t know where we belonged. Both too cold and felt like monsters. I had never felt that way about anyone. I don’t think i’ll ever feel that way again. I don’t want too actually, not if it isn’t her” everyone in the room could notice his voice breaking. 

   just as you were about too console him Val put an arm in front of you and pressed a finger to her mouth. Telling you to shut it basically. You are confused, but nod slowly “Brother. I don’t understand. Who are you talking about? What has made you this upset?” Thor questions. 

   Loki’s body started to shake as he sobbed “Y/n. That scraper killed her. she took her away from me, now i’m all alone again.” he explains solemnly. Thor looks confused “Loki, lady Y/n is right here” he spoke. Loki lifted his head up and Thor was right. There you were, alive. 

   Loki didn’t know whether to be relieved or angered, but he stuck with relieved. “Let him out!” you shout, walking over to Loki to pull on the chains. “Y/n i don’t think that’s such a good idea-” Bruce started, but you didn’t care. You got the chains undone and Loki instantly wrapped his arms around you.

   “Hey, i’m here” you say as he holds onto tightly, almost like you would disappear if he let you go “I know” he replies before pulling away. You look around and notice everyone staring at you “What?” Loki spots Bruce and tilts his head “Hello Bruce” he spoke, standing up from the chair.

   Bruce looks at him “So, last time i saw you, you were trying to kill everybody. Where are you at these days?” he questions. Loki looked at you then Val who was grabbing something out the closet “It varies from moment to moment” he spoke before completely ignoring him.

   Loki studies your face “I’m alive Loki” you say to reassure him and he sighs “i know, just wan’t to keep it that way” he says. You muster up a smile “That is the nicest thing you have said to me since we got here” you admit. He rolls his eyes and looks down for a moment then back at you 

   “I need to tell you something-”

   “Loki come here!” Thor says, waving at him from the otherside of the room. Loki sighs and look at you, going to say something “It’s okay. we can talk later” you reassure him and he smiles.

    ☼-☪-☼

   you, Loki, and Thor were assigned to get a ship for all of you to leave on, but throughout the whole time you were fighting to get there Loki and Thor were talking about leaving each other or staying together. You wished you stayed with Bruce and Val. 

   now you were in a elevator, with you standing in front of the two, skin icy white and blue and no pupils. “Here's the thing. I'm probably better off staying here on Sakaar.” Loki says. You turn around and look at him with wide eyes “Loki-” you say, but Thor interrupts “That's exactly what I was thinking.”

   okay what? “Thor-” you say this time, but the same thing happens. “Did you just agree with me?” Loki asked, stunned. Thor shrugs “Come on, this place is perfect for you. It's savage, chaotic, lawless. Brother, you're going to do great here.” Thor says, glancing at him once- ouch.

   Loki looks forward and you wished you hadn’t come at all “Do you truly think so little of me?” Loki questions. Thor pauses for a moment before looking at his brother. “ Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you're you, I'm me” he starts. 

   you watch as Loki’s face changes from different emotions. To hope, then sorrow. “I don't know, maybe there's still good in you-” Thor says and gestures to you “-but let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.” he finished. You stepped aside Loki and reached down to grab his hand. 

   Loki sighs and looks at his brother one last time “Yeah... It's probably for the best that we never see one another again.” he replies, nodding his head. You look down. Stupid boys. “That's what you always wanted.” Thor says and pats his brother on the back, you noticed he place the chip on his back.

   strange, but you trust Thor’s judgement. Doesn’t mean you weren’t going to swipe the remote off of him though. 

   Loki looks away slowly letting go of your hand. It was silence for a few moments. Awkward silence filled with tension and emotion. Jumping through the glass and falling to your death didn’t really look so bad right now “Hey, let’s do get help” Thor pipes up.

   “What?” Loki asked, turning to look at Thor again

   “What’s get help?-”

   “Get help” Thor repeats with a cheery smile on his face. 

   “Oh come on, you love it” 

   “No i hate it

   “It’s great. It works every time”

   “Its humiliating”

   “Do you have a better plan?” 

   you got to speak when they just start talking again “No” Loki replies and Thor just looks back forward with a smile “Were doing it” he says and Loki does the same “We are not doing get help” Loki says, thinking that’s the end of it. You look at both of them and groan “I hate both of you”

    ☼-☪-☼

   as the elevator door opens, you are stuck clinging onto the ceiling. You wait a couple of seconds “Alright. Come down” Thor calls and you jump down from the bar “Get help huh?” you chuckle, looking at Loki who turns and glares at you. You smile and walk behind them.

   “Now which one is the ship she told us to get?” Thor asked. Loki pointed at a bright orange ship “The Commodore” he says. You all begin to walk.  A second later he walks away, grabbing your arm to follow along with him and leaving a illusion walking alongside Thor. What?

   “Though I feel it won't make much of a difference” the illusion spoke. Thor sighs “Oh Loki” and turns to see you and Loki at the control panel “I know I've betrayed you many times before, but this time it's truly nothing personal. The reward for\ your capture will set Y/n and i up nicely.”

   Y/n what now? Loki presses a button on the panel and the places starts to go off “Loki, you didn’t” you gasp as you rip your arm from him. “Never one for sentiment, were you?” Thor asks. Loki grinned “Easier to let it burn.” he replies in a low tone.

   Thor reaches into his pocket as his eyes go wide. You slowly back away from Loki “Y/n-” “You self centered prick!” you snapped, pulling the remote out of your pocket. His face drops and he takes a step forward “Y/n, please-” he tries to explain, but you had already made up your mind. “No!” you shout. 

   Loki goes to speak again, but you press the button, watching as he drops to the floor. Thor walks past you and towards Loki “Oh that looks painful” Thor mumbles. You follow after him, walking much slower. Thor kneels down beside his brother. 

   “Oh brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go.” Thor speaks, looking down at Loki. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change, but you seem to just wanna stay the same.” 

   it hurt to see Loki that way, but in the end if he could betray Thor so easily. he’d do it to you too and no amount of love could change that “I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.” Thor sighed and stood up “I’ll start the ship” and with that, he left. 

   you look at Thor then Loki. You go to where Thor was kneeling and do the same “You almost fooled me i’ll give you that. The whole touch thing and flirty comments. It almost made me think you felt the same. What tied it in was the tears.” you say, watching as he turned to look at you, pain on his face. 

   “Maybe you do care about me, but in the end you would betray anyone to save your own skin Loki. Thor’s right, you could be so much more. To him, the world...to me” You looked up to stop the tears forming in your eyes to fall down your face. You quickly wipe them and look back down. 

   “Thank you for being my first hug” You stand up and throw the remote a few feet away from him. “and my last” and with that you turned away leaving Loki on Sakaar along with any feelings you had for him. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   after fighting your way out of Sakaar on a orgy ship you passed out. Bruce was the first to wake, then Val and Thor with you being the last “I never thought i’d be back here” Val spoke. You and Bruce undo your seatbelts and stand behind Thor and Val.

   Asgard.

   “Though it be a lot nicer” Bruce spoke up. “Bruce- dude” you say, shaking your head. He noticed all of your collective disappointed stares and sputtered “Not- noth that it’s not nice- it’s just- it’s just on fire” well he was right about that. You assumed it was Hela’s doing. 

   the dashboard started going off and Val  looked at it “Here, up in the mountains. heat signatures, people clustered together. Hela’s coming for them” she explained, pointing at the 3D diagram. You sigh as you power up your abilities, Bruce giving you a odd stare. Guess he’s not used to it. 

   “Okay, drop me off at the palace and i'll draw her away.” Thor spoke up. “Thor she destroyed your hammer like nothing. You can’t do this alone!” you protest. Thor shakes his head and looks back at you, “Then you’ll come with me Lady Y/n” he says “And get yourselves killed?” Val questions

   “The people trapped down there are all that matters. While we're dealing with Hela, I need you two to help get everyone off Asgard.” Thor instrucks. Bruce pokes his head in between and looks at both of them “and how the hell are we supposed to do that?” 

   “I have a man on the ground”

    ☼-☪-☼

   Thor looked up at Val as her and Bruce flew away. Hm, strange. 

   once you two got to the castle, you noticed rumble all over the floor, even a piece with Thor’s face on it. Thor looks up at the ceiling and you follow suit. What you see in horrific. Pictures of Odin and Hela destroying worlds. 

   you look over at Thor and notice his grim face “Thor? Are you okay” you say. Thor sighs and nods “Wait behind a pillar. Hela should be here soon” he says and you nod, walking away to find a hiding spot. 

   Thor sat in the throne and began to band Odin’s scepter on the floor, causing loud booms to flow throughout the castle. Only seconds later did you here Hela’s heels down the hallway. 

   she was here

   “sister” Thor says. You couldn’t see them, but you could hear them. “Your still alive” she says back, soundly somewhat surprised. “ I love what you've done with the place. Redecorating, I see.” Thor spoke. Was this a time to be making jokes??

   “It seems our father's solution to every problem was to cover it up.” Hela snarls at him. Okay she’s getting upset. “Or to cast it out. He told you you were worthy.   He said the same thing to me.” Thor responds, solem in his tone. You could hear the bitterness in his tone  

   “You see, you never knew him, not at\ his best.” Hela sighs like it’s a fond memory to look back on ”Odin and I drowned entire civilizations in blood and tears. Where do you think all this gold came from? And then one day he  decided to become a benevolent king.”

   Hela’s voice becomes more sour “To foster peace, to protect life.” she starts “To have you” ouch- that has gotta sting. “ I understand why you're angry. and you are my sister, and technically have a claim to the throne. And believe me, I would love for  someone else to rule. But it can't be you. You're just the worst.”

   Thor no- you hear the swish noise like the last time she put on her crown “Okay, get up. You're in my seat.” she said, done playing games with Thor. clearly. “You know, Father once told me that a wise king never seeks out war” he says, you could hear his heavy footsteps.

   “But must always be ready for it.” Hela replies, drawing closer

   that’s your cue

   you jump down and ice the floor just as Thor jumps in the air. Hela goes to throw a blade at him, but it ends up missing because she couldn’t balance. her head snaps in your direction and she snarls “You again?!” she shouts, charging towards you.

   pressing your palms together and pull them out quickly, forming a silver sword with a blue base and handle. You lift your sword, but Thor hits her away with the scepter. Hela is knocked back, but for only a moment as she gets up and charges at Thor.

   she manages to knock the scepter away pin Thor against the wall “Here's the difference between us. I'm Odin's firstborn, the rightful heir, the savior of Asgard.” she spoke before throwing Thor to the floor “And you're nothing.” You run up at her and hit her away from Thor.

   “and your a bitch!” you yelled. Now you two her going hand to hand “Who are you? Your not asgardian is that for sure, but i sense a power off you stronger then any human could bare” she spoke, kicking you to the ground “You have the power of a infinity stone. Now that’s interesting darling”

   Hela forms a blade “Too bad that power will die with you” she smiles wickedly as she goes to plunge it into your stomach, but Thor tackles her to the ground. “Y/n leave now!” Thor shouts, as Hela knocks him in the face “But what about you!” you shout, forming a icicle in your hand to throw at her. 

   “This is my fight and i will not lose you. Now go!” he shouts just as Hela sliced his eye. You almost choked before you got yourself together and ran and ran and ran. “Thor i hope you know what your doing” 

    ☼-☪-☼

   as soon you headed out the castle, you used a burst of cold fog to send you into the sky. The bifrost! it’s being attacked by Hela’s knights and a large wolf. That’s where to go you guess and you another burst to send you towards the bridge. 

   the wolf was running towards a bunch of unarmed asgardians. You dropped onto the bifrost just as bruce came flying out the ship and landing face first “Bruce! This is why i said to keep your seatbelt on!” you shout. he’s lucky he’s mutated or he’d be dead. 

   the wolf sniffed Bruce for a few seconds before running your direction again. You form a blade and have it sending his way, but he wasn’t stopping. You look over and see a dark skinned man with long hair, Heimdall holding a sword “Nice to meet you i guess?” you spoke with nervous laughter.

   he looked your way and nodded “You too Lady Y/n” wait- how did he know your name. Nevermind that- both you and Heimdall hold your swords in ready position. The wolf is inches away when it suddenly stopped? You watch as it’s pull back and thrown to the other side. 

   Hulk!

   “Yes!” you shout, throwing your arms in the air. Hulk lets out a thunderous roar, hitting his chest. The wolf comes after him and they both fall off the bifrost. One problem down, two more to go. More knights begin to run towards the group and you and hemdall began to fight them off.

   you are so telling Tony about this!

   Heimdall gets hit in the knee and you rush over to help him when a rock guy come out of nowhere and blasts the knight into nothing. Wait- wasn’t this Thor’s friend- from back on Sakaar? “Hey man and woman. I'm Korg. This is Miek.” he introduces himself as a purple worm robot appears.

   you might need therapy after this one actually “We're going to jump on that spaceship and get out of here. Want to come?” he asked. He was rather polite. You smile lightly “We’d love too Korg, just after we kill these things.” You reply. You suddenly hear something off in the distance

   you and Heimdall turn to see a figure amongst the mist. Please don’t be Hela, please do not be Hela! Once the figure came to view you gasped. “Your saviour is here!” Loki shouts, standing on top of the landing pad. What a narcissist! A narcissist that you were in love with, but technicalities don’t count. 

   as the ship lands people of asgard begin to board “Did you miss me?” he says, you smile lightly. he had come back to save his people “Now everyone on the ship!” he commands and asgardians begin to flood in. Loki pushed through the people and made his way towards you and Heimdall. 

   “Welcome back. I saw you coming” Heimdall speaks. Loki purses his lips together and nods “Course you did” he says and looks at you “Surprised to see me, darling?” he says with a small smirk. You shake your head slowly with a smile “I was hoping you do the right thing. Your just boosting my ego”

   Loki grinned at you for a moment before pull out two asgardian blades “Will talk more in a bit” he sends you a wink as the Knights charge you all. You fly into the air and slam into the ground, causing a cold breeze to freeze about a dozen. You watch as they crumble and fall apart.

   “Didn’t know i could do that” you shrug and pull out your sword once again. The bright sky turned a dark grey as electricity struck the castle, causing a big explosion “Yes! Thor!” you shout. “Hopefully it killed that bitch, no offense since she is your sister and all” you say to Loki.

   he shrugs and slices a Knight in half “Unrelated note. You look very sexy while fighting” he smirks. You shake your head as your form multiple blades and send them at the Knights behind him. Loki goes wide eyed and watch about seven fall to the ground 

   “Me and you definitely need to talk later” his voice came out in a growl, which honestly sent shivers up your spine. You let out a chuckle as you watch Thor crash onto the bifrost “Why not now? Your brother seems to be keeping most of their attention”

   Loki raises a brow “You wan’t me to confess my undying love for you in the middle of war?” he questions. Well that was blunt. “You do have a thing for undying don’t you? Anyway, just tell me now. one of us may not live till the end of this war” you spoke. 

   you notice Loki’s face change to a grim one “Your not dying on me, i won’t allow it” he said, almost as it was a command. “Loki- be realistic. Now shut up and tell me” you say as you stab through a Knight “Okay- from the moment i laid eyes on you, i could tell you were like me” he says.

   “How so?” you question. “You question who you are and wonder if you belong anywhere. You think of yourself as a monster just as i do to my Jotun side. I wont ever question you and we can belong to each other. I do not see you as a monster Y/n. I see you as a goddess”

   wow- he could sure smooth talk a gal into anything. Jokes aside his words meant everything to you, he meant everything to you. You use your ice to put up a bubble around the both of you. Loki looks confused for a moment before turning to look at you. 

   “Just say you love me Loki” you chuckle. He smiles slightly and grabs your hands “Y/n, i am in love with you. I think that’s better” he quipped back. you both laugh for a moment “Do asgardians use the term boyfriend and girlfriend?” you say. 

   Loki shakes his head “We like to use more gender inclusive terms. So, Y/n would you like to be my forever and i yours?” you could have passed out right then and there. Also- how was asgard more woke then earth? That’s some bullshit right there.

   you break away from your thoughts and nod “of course i do” you say. Loki is unable to control his smile as he dips his head down. He was leaning when Boom! the bubble is destroyed. You smile and pull away “i guess you have to wait my prince” you tease, forming your sword again. 

   you could tell you touched a nerve because Loki squirmed a bit “Your such a vixen, darling. I can’t wait to have you all alone” he spoke in a low tone. You take a deep breath and try to compose yourself, but the thought of you and Loki- alone. It just took over your mind.

   “Can this fucking shit be over with! Hurry it the hell up Thor!” you shout as you jab your sword through two Knights and push them off the bifrost. Loki’s helmet fell as he was fighting one. You run and slide across the bifrost to grab it. Ha antlers- not right now!

   Once you do you chuck it at Loki who uses it to knock the Knight of his feet and push a sword through its stomach. Loki looks up at you and you grin at him “Teamwork, my prince” you say before bursting into the air “Stop calling that in public!” he yells. 

   Thor comes walking up too Loki, both breathing heavily. You drop down beside them “Your late” Thor says and Loki sighs “Your missing an eye” he replies back. Huh? You look at Thor and wave your hand over it, causing a cooling effect for him “Hopefully it’s stops the throbbing” you say.

   Thor nods and gives you a tired smile as Val walks past you three “This isn’t over” she breathes out. Well- she’s not wrong on that one. All four of you walk together. You all stop to catch your breath “I think we should disband the Revengers.” Thor spoke. 

   “Good. It was a shit idea” you comment, making Val stifle laughter. “Hit her with a lightning blast.” Loki suggests “we already did that and she rose from the dead still” you say. Thor looks at his brother in disbelief- he did just like shoot her into the sky and she’s walking. 

   “I just hit her with the biggest lightning blast in the history of lightning. It did nothing.” Thor gave his brother a know it all look. You all looked forward as Hela stalked towards you all “She is so fucking creepy” you say, forming a couple blades. 

   Val nods in agreement “We need to hold her off until everybody's on board.” she instructs. You all nod. You really didn’t want to fight this deer looking bitch. Antlers just run in the fucking family at this point. You stretch your back a bit. Your positive you have scoliosis after all this. 

   Thor shakes his head “It won't end there. The longer Hela's on Asgard the more powerful she grows. She'll hunt us down. We need to stop her here and now.” he says. “If she’s growing more powerful from just being here then how do we stop her” you look at Thor.

   Val nods along with you “She’s right, so what do we so?” she says, putting an emphasis on the world ‘what’ . Loki pauses and looks at Thor “I’m not doing get help” okay that was funny, no laughing right now though. Thor steps forward and glares at Hela before looking back at the ship of people boarding.

   he’s going to give a speech isn’t he?

   “Asgard's not a place, it's a people.-” there it is “-This was never about stopping Ragnarok...it was about causing Ragnarok.” he says, turning his attention towards Loki. “What’s Ragnarok?” you ask, expectanting no answer, but hey gotta love Val

   “It’s this big fiery demon that was literally made to destroy Asgard and everyone on it” she explains. At that moment you honestly thought about marrying her “Wait- You want to send a demon to destroy Asgard? Shit-” you say. 

   Thor walks over to Loki and places a hand on his shoulder “Go to the vault. Surtur's crown. It's the only way.” he says. Loki fights against himself for a moment before nodding “Bold move, brother. Even for me.” he admits before walking over to you. 

   “I’ll see you soon, darling” he says with a small smile. “Well aren’t going to kiss me then?” you question, his smile turning into a grin “No..i rather give you something to look forward too” he says before running off. What a dick. You look back towards Hela “Shall we?” Thor asked the both you and Val.

   Val looks at Thor and smiles lightly “After you” she says. Thor jumps into the air and destroys two of Hela’s blades. Hela kicks throw out the way as Val charged at her, but she ended being thrown too. Your turn. You burst into the air and throw four blades at her. She dodges them all and sends you away with Val.

   Thor picks up a Knights discarded sword and tries to plunge in into Hela, but she dodges that too. Thor turns to Heimdall and shouts “Go! Go now!” and Heimdall gets onto the ship. Hela throws a spear at him and it jabs right through Thor’s shoulder. 

   the ship starts to lift into the air and Hela notices. She uses big spikes from the ground and shoots them in, keeping the ship in place “I’ll handle that. You two keep her busy!” you shout and fly into the air. How were you going to do this? You watch as Knights begin to crawl the spikes and up towards the asgardians.

   you had to make a move now. 

   just as your about to land you hear..gunshots?! Since when her guns on Asgard? Just as you got close enough a man holding to large guns jump off of the ship and onto the bifrost, breaking the spike in the process. He lands on the bifrost and you jump down next to him.

   “What’s your name? Weren’t you working for Hela?” you question suspiciously. The man looks ashamed “My name is Skurge. Yes i did work for Hela temporarily, but i know now that she is not a true queen and i wan’t to make it right” he confesses.

   you smile and nod at him “Good for you dude. Now prove it!” you shout and charge into battle. You love a good redemption ark. You and your new friend Skurge fight off the Knights. “Hela!” he shouts, catching the goddess’s attention. Well fuck. 

   as you two fought off the last one Hela sent a blade in Skurge’s direction. You didn’t think. You should have thought before you acted, but you didn’t. You were just too nice to strangers. You jump in front of Skurge and catch the blade in your back, causing you to gasp out. 

   skurge looks at you in shock as you slowly drop to the floor. From a distance Thor and Val watch in horror as there comrade is smite down. “No!” Thor screamed, lighting bursting in every direction “Hela enough!” he shouts, standing up “if you want Asgard. It’s yours”

   Skurge moves you and pulls the blade from your back. Your vision became spotty “Loki?” you murmur as you look up “i’m so sorry” Skurge cried. Hela looked towards Thor “Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me.” Hela says with a evil grin.

   Skurge watched the life drain from your body as it turned to ice. A statue of who you used to be cold and frozen over. “I’m so sorry ma’am” he breathes out as he touches your face. He felt so guilty. It should have been him is what he kept thinking over and over again.

   suddenly the Sakaar ship lands next to Skurge and Loki jumps out. His whole world came crashing down once he saw you. A frozen corpse. “She saved him so i stayed with her” skurge explains. Loki lifts a hand and waves him away, which is what Skurge does so. 

   Loki drops to his knees and touched your frozen skin “Even in death you are beautiful my love. I should have kissed you when you asked me too, but i just had to be cheeky” he says, tears forming down his face and falling onto your frozen body. 

   “No one can ever match your beauty, your skill, or your big heart and i will never love again. You taught me what it’s like to love and to be loved and i- i-” Loki broke down and let his tears fall like a waterfall. He was alone again. Now he would have to live his miserable life without you

    ☼-☪-☼

   you sat up, breathing heavily. You were in a castle. Thor’s castle. How? Where’s Hela? Where’s Loki. You push yourself off the floor instantly and look around. “You must be terribly confused” you heard a woman speak. You turn around and see a older woman with light auburn hair.

   “Who are you and where is everyone?” you snap at her, but she just smiles “My name is Frigga dear” she spoke kindly. You look at her in horror “You’re Loki and Thor’s mother- but....your dead. That means that i’m-” you almost gag on your own words.

   “i’m afraid so dear” she speaks and gives you a sad smile. “No! I have to get back! Loki is expecting me to be there. I have to help stop Hela!” you say. This couldn’t be happening “Ragnarok has already begun and Asgard is to fall any moment. Don’t you want to rest?”

   your whole life has been nothing but pain and hard work. You had never ‘rested’ a day in your life. As much as it sounded like a treat, you still had responsibilities “No. I chose to stay and fight Hela because Thor is my friend and i’m not giving up on him or Loki, Val, Bruce or the asgardians. 

   Frigga gives you a proud smile “That’s what i wanted you to say. I’ll bring you back” she says and rolls up her sleeves “You have to do something for me though” she spoke. You stepped towards her “Anything” he say hastily “Marry my son. Loki deserves it more then ever and so do you”

   you give your future mother in law a smile “Of course. How are you going to bring me back anyway?” you question. Frigga grans both your hands and smiles “Ancient magic that is far to complex. Now when i bring you back it will be with an asgardian soul” she says. You looked confused.

   “What does that mean?”

   “It means you’ll be an asgardian along with your abilities.”

   you smile lightly. You could live as long as Loki now and truly be together forever. “Okay, i’m ready” you say and she nods “Tell my sons that i love him and tell Loki that choosing to be his mother was one of the best days of my life and Thor...that he doesn’t have to rule Asgard to be a great leader.”

   you nod, locking the words into your memory. Frigga starts mumbling a spell and you feel your body become lighter and lighter until you feel like you pass out.

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki lifts his head up from your body as it starts to defrost. His eyes go wide as underneath the ice is your beautiful face. Your eyes shoot open and you fly into the sky. Your whole body emitting a white and blue aura. You flew towards Thor, Val and Hela. 

   Thor puts his hands on his hips and points behind him “No i know, but he can” he says and Surtur comes crashing through the castle. As Hela stares at her downfall Val takes the opportunity to pierce her sword through Hela’s chest. Your form an ice spear and launch yourself down, stabbing it straight through her.

   Thor sends and burst of electricity and you back away, slowly landing on the bifrost. It was over. Hela was doen for and you wanted to leave this retched planet. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   you walk through the ship until you find Thor and Loki in one room. Loki was holding a cap to a liquor bottle. “Hello boys” you spoke and they both turn to look at you “Lady Y/n, the girl who cheated death! No wonder you and Loki are perfect for each other” Thor announced, bowing at you.

  you smiled and walked over to a loveseat, Loki following suit and sitting next to you “Yeah uh- i didn’t cheat anything. I actually died” You said “But how, your right here?” Loki says, grabbing your hand “I came back with a little help of a certain someone” you say. 

   Thor walks over and sits down across from you two “Who?” he questions and take a sip of his drink “Frigga” you said, making the brothers look at you in shock “Mother, how?” Loki asked. “I woke up in the castle and she was there. She said she could bring me back and gave me a few things to say”

   both boys inched closer “She said she loves you both and Thor, you don’t have to rule asgard if it isn’t what you wan’t. Your still a great man and Loki” you turn your body to face your forever “one of the best days of Frigga life was choosing to be your mother and love you like her own blood”

   Loki’s face said just about enough as well as Thor’s. They both looked at there laps, smiling to themselves. “I’m also asgardian now” you say, grabbing a drink from the table. Thor drops his glass on the floor, smashing it into tiny pieces. That was a nice cup. 

   “What!?”  they both shout. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki had found you both a room on the ship with a perfect view of the unknown outside. You were currently looking through it now, thinking. A pair of arms wrap around you from behind “I still owe you a kiss” Loki breathes out. You smile brightly and turn around in his hold, facing him. 

   “I believe you do...my prince” You say at the end just to tease him. Loki growls under his breath before pressing his lips to yours for a hungry kiss while his hands pulled you flush against him. You thought your first kiss would be sweet and short, but Loki’s was needy and passionate. 

   you both pulled at each others clothing, wanting it off but not having the strength to pull away and do so. After a minute of two Loki pulls away “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks” he admits, making you chuckle. “Good thing you have me all night then, my forever. i love you Loki of asgard”

   Loki grins at your words and kisses your forehead “i love you as well, Y/n, my forever” 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody- I want no one to talk about how long it is, it hurts to even mention. 

[teddy06writes]

May I request Eret where the reader has a stuffed animal named after them, that they cuddle when the Eret isn’t there for them to cuddle/for Eret to cuddle them? Maybe the reader either telling Eret/Eret finding out? Either work! Just really fluffy cute stuff!!

eret x reader (this idea is actually so adorable)

trigger warnings: none

(y/n/n) - your nickname

“Blep” talking

‘Blep’ texting

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late, well, it was getting to be late.

Quietly you moved around the kitchen, sighing as you put the dinner you had made back into Tupperware containers and into the fridge.

Eret was supposed to be coming back from there trip today, and you had been so excited!

Your partner had been gone for nearly two weeks, and you desperately wanted cuddles.

Unfortunately, however, her plane had been delayed due to a storm over in the UK, and you were told they could get in the next morning, at the earliest.

You managed to get through putting the food away, and forcing yourself to eat something without crying, but almost as soon as you finished, tears began to fall.

You weren’t sure why you were crying, your partner would still be home soon, just not tonight, yet you still were, longing to be in his embrace once more.

You scrubbed a hand over your face, wiping away some of the tears as you started towards the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Your phone lit up with a new message from Eret:

‘good news and bad news’

‘oh god what is it?’ You responded.

‘well the good news is that I will almost definitely get there by some point tomorrow’

‘bad news is that my flight got canceled.’

You furrowed your eyebrows, ‘if your flight got canceled how are you getting here by tomorrow?’

‘I was supposed to get a new ticket on the next available plane, but apparently they had over booked anyway, so I just got a new ticket on a different plane’

‘convenient’

‘i’ve got some time if you want to call?’

You didn’t answer, instead calling him right away, and putting the phone on speaker so you could continue to wash your face.

“Hello Love.”

You smiled at the sound of his voice, “Hey darling.”

“I miss you,” There was a pause, “Why is this airport so crowded? It’s only 3 in the morning!”

You chuckled, “Everyone thought they could beat the rush.”

“Are you alright love? You sound... sad.” You could hear the worry in their voice.

“Just tired. It’s been a long day, and I miss you.” You sighed.

“I’ll be back soon, don’t you worry.” She said quickly.

You yawned, “Yeah, I know. I think I might head to bed soon.”

“It’s getting late over there isn’t it?”

“Yeah, we can stay on the phone though, if you want.”

You had moved into your bedroom now, curling up under the cover of your bed, and wrapping your arms around Pinky, a rather large stuffed pig you were slightly ashamed to admit you cuddled when Eret was gone.

“If your sure.” They said.

You plugged your phone in and let it sit on the bed, near to your head, “Tell me about your trip.”

Eret began to ramble about the trip, the other friends he had met up with and the irl stream she had done while walking around London.

You closed your eyes and listened, and for a few moments it actually seemed like they were there with you.

“I’ve gotta go now, okay?” Eret asked softly an hour or so later.

He got no response other than your quiet snores, and smiling to themself they quietly whispered, “I love you.” And ended the call.

~~

It was nearly nine oclock when Eret quietly let himself into the apartment, pulling their suitcase after them.

“(y/n/n)!” She called softly.

When they got no response they stifled a yawn (11 hours of traveling yikes) and began to look around for you.

It didn’t take them long to find you, still in bed asleep, Pinky the Pig in your arms.

He chuckled, “(y/n/n), love I’m home.” as they sat down on the bed, gently shaking your shoulder.

You hummed, scrunching your nose as you sat up groggily, “What?”

She smiled, “I’m home.”

You sat, blinking for a moment, before dropping the stuffed animal and nearly tackling them in a hug.

“Hey love.”

You grinned, “I missed you!”

“I know.” They placed a gentle kiss on your lips, “Darling did you replace me with a stuffed pig?”

You laughed nervously, “Uhh, no?”

He cocked an eyebrow, and you giggled, “Maybe I wanted cuddles and someone was gone and so they were the next best thing.”

Eret laughed, “Well, I suppose that is fair,” They pecked your lips once more, “Let me get changed and then we can cuddle.”

A few minutes later found you and Eret partially reclined on the pillows, her arms wrapped around you as you gently carded your fingers through his hair.

It didn’t take long for Eret to slip into sleep after that, and smiling, you pressed a kiss to the crown of their head, “I love you.”

[albatris]

hey ho it's nanowrimo day 15

today's word count is 28,455

today............... sure is monday!

you get two different excerpts and two different Quinns in The Excerpt Zone today, you get one :3 Quinn and one early-ish-story downright fucking bastard Quinn and I do not mean that in a fun way

first up,

"Excuse me, please." Nat offered Margaret a polite but seething smile, and picked up the phone to address the waiting customer. "Good morning! This is Nat Finch speaking. I'm calling from..." He craned over Quinn's desk, rifling through the clutter, hoping for a stray business card or some company-identifying stack of sticky notes to jog his memory. He came up empty. "...oh, you know what company I'm calling from, of course! How are you today?"

"I was speaking to someone named Quinn earlier," the voice, presumably belonging to one Ms. Holland, informed him. "They said they were going to call me back."

"Quinn's dead," Nat said cheerily. "I'm the new hire. I'm Quinn's replacement."

"I was... I was talking to them two hours ago. Is this a joke?"

"No. The hiring process here is very efficient."

He tipped back in his chair to eye off Quinn by the coffee machine, who was currently waiting for their mug to fill. They gave him an enthusiastic thumbs-up, then motioned for him to continue.

Quinn's instructions for leaving Nat on call centre phone duty were "just say whatever you want lmao no one cares"

next one is. hm. trigger warning for self-inflicted injury and also extremely extremely bad vibes

under cut as is the rest of the update. I feel dicey about posting it

"Quinn, you—you know I'm not strong enough to push us out of here," Nat said, panicking. "There's no way I—just let me go find someone to help, okay? We still have time. We—"

Quinn snatched the metal water bottle from the drink holder and placed their left hand on top of the steering wheel, their fingers spread. Before Nat even realised what was happening, they lifted the bottle up and brought it smashing down into the back of their hand. Then they did it again. And again. Rapidly. Mercilessly. Nat heard the sickening crack of splintering bone. Blood splattered onto the dashboard. Alex inhaled sharply from the back seat.

Quinn placed the bloodied metal bottle gently back in its place, their face still blank. They held their mangled hand out to Nat, red dripping off their fingertips. Their voice was dead cold. "Then fucking make yourself strong enough."

The sweetness swarmed into Nat's nose and he jerked back away from the door, stumbling down onto the asphalt, a hand flying up to cover his mouth. Pain fireworked through his jaw as fangs tore themselves free from his gums, jagged and clumsy, several piercing straight through his lip. Hunger twisted agonisingly in his stomach and the Garble drove itself into his legs, his arms, flooding him with power and adrenaline, preparing his body for the hunt.

"Get up," Quinn spat, "and push."

Nat choked on the thirst that tore at his throat. Nat choked on a sob.

Nat got up, and pushed.

yeah definitely I think a quick "hey Nat maybe if you smell some of my blood we can trick/lure the garble into giving you the necessary strength to help us get out of here" would have gone a long way and Nat probably would have agreed but the only thing going on in Quinn's head at this point is "my best friend is minutes away from death and I don't give a shit about anything or anyone else right now"

it's the first time in the story Quinn is legitimately fucking terrified and scared Quinn is scary Quinn

dick move nonetheless. n in general at this point in the story, while Quinn has been mostly pleasant to Nat, they still view him as a mostly tool to be used and not much else which uh. makes itself somewhat apparent here

as soon as they've calmed down a bit they're like "yeah that was pretty fucked and crossed a lot of lines I'm sorry I did that" and Nat says nothing bc Nat does not speak to Quinn for three days

Alex is fine, btw. and is also just sort of like "look I get it but fucking yikes dude 😬" at Quinn

also yeah Quinn just forfeited use of that hand for. a long fucking time

anyway sorry for the Oof excerpt. I have fun posting fun excerpts but also This Story Is Not Fun. do not follow anyone's example in this story except maybe Lloyd's

today's mood is a consistent 13.6mmol/L (my body has decided to hate me for some reason) and today's jam is "human sadness" by the voidz (it is ten minutes long)

goodnight. tomorrow I go shopping for Crafts and Items

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse - A special night

Prompt: Any Fandom | Any Characters/Pairings | Ordering a sweet treat to be delivered to the other person at home/work

Word Count: 2,136

Author/Team: LadyMonotone

Fandom/Original: Redacted ASMR (Gavin/Freelancer. Vincent Solaire/Lovely) 

Rating: T

Triggers: NA

Summary: Having an Incubus boyfriend comes with many perks. The Freelancer and Lovely really should have seen it coming. 

ConCrit: Y 

Well, I guess this can be a sequel to my previous oneshot, REDACTED verse - Those that stood above the rest. I really wanted to write the Freelancer and Lovely interacting after their first, proper meeting so this oneshot suddenly comes to mind! 

-

Exam week is the bane of every student, everywhere — even for the magical ones. 

An uneasy atmosphere lingers around D.A.M.N as the current semester hurl the students into an intense week of revisions, study groups, and extra classes; all for the upcoming exams. 

The seniors are frantically cramming for their final papers and projects under the watchful eyes of the lecturers. The Freelancer doesn't envy them one bit when they caught a Sonal Energetic screamed into his backpack for a solid ten minutes. 

His scream shakes the student lounge, and the windows shattered. 

Once he got that out of his system, he focused back towards his textbook, expressionless. The rest of the students around the Energetic hardly bat an eye over what just happened. 

On that day, the Freelancer learned to avoid a large group of seniors until the exam week blows over. 

"The tension alone in that lounge could make a Serenity Daemon hide underneath a bed." The Freelancer narrates their experience to Lovely. The two of them are currently having their own study session over at the Freelancer's apartment. 

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and yet here they are - flipping through textbooks, reviewing and swapping notes and downing cans of coffee and Red Bulls from as early as 9 AM. "Even the janitor wasn't fazed by it. He just snapped his fingers, and the windows were good as new!"

That night after their proper introduction, Lovely and the Freelancer had become quite good friends, much to Vincent's annoyance and Gavin's pleased smirk when the Freelancer told him that Lovely would be coming over for their study session. 

"Aww, look you, Deviant. Arranging a little study date with that friend of yours," Gavin teased during breakfast this morning. They both woke up early to prepare meals that could last the Freelancer and Lovely throughout the whole day. When his Deviant absentmindedly replied, "Uh-huh" as they were busy chopping the vegetables, Gavin couldn't help but plant a fond kiss on top of their head. "Anyway, I'll be popping into Aria for a bit today. A few of my, ah, older brothers and sisters called for a meeting. Can I trust that you two won't be having too much fun without me?"

The Freelancer stopped chopping to gave their boyfriend a deadpan stare. "Gavin, we'll be studying." They explained. "Our first paper is literally next week. So I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but there won't be any fucking happening." They then stop themselves. They suddenly recalled something. "I don't want to be on that Solaire Prince's hit list too."

Gavin just cooed at their disgruntled partner, as if the genuine possibility that the both of them being shred to pieces by Lovely's possessive boyfriend amused him. 

Nonetheless, Gavin pulled his weight to ensure there was enough food and comfortable pillows and blankets in their shared apartment so that his Deviant and the Electro Energetic would be comfortable for their revisions. 

An hour before Lovely arrived, Gavin kissed the Freelancer goodbye and Rifted into his home dimension. 

And now we're back in the present. 

"I think those students around that guy were his classmates," Lovely commented. They take a quick sip of the lemonade that Gavin prepared to refresh their parched throat. Even in a simple pair of slacks, baggy t-shit, and hair pulled up in a bun, they still look as breathtaking as ever. "They reacted as if it was like a regular Tuesday for them. It's so crazy to think that we'll be seniors like them soon."

The Freelancer pours more lemonade into their glass from the pitcher beside them. Their books, notebooks and snacks are spread all over the dining table. A large and fluffy pillow is propped behind the Freelancer so they can lean back on their chair comfortably. "Urgh, mood. I can already imagine the coursework we'll be forced to do in our final semester." They groan. Their brain is fried from all the information and notes they've been reviewing since this morning. On top of that, the thought that they will be getting even more work once they hit their senior year is starting to freak them out. 

Seeing the Freelancer is having an internal crisis, Lovely quickly glance at the time on their phone and decides, "OK, I think we seriously need a break. You look like you're going to pull a stunt similar to that Sonal Energetic, and I don't think your boyfriend appreciates coming back to a half-destroyed apartment."

"Gavin can fix the apartment with his magic, don't worry." The Freelancer is quick to assure Lovely. "He did that after he and Vega trashed the place anyway."

"Uh, what? Who's Vega?"

The Freelancer snapped their attention back to Lovely once they realised the name that they accidentally dropped. "N-Nothing! I didn't s-say anything!" They laugh awkwardly, doing their best to brush off Lovely's concerned expression. "Anyway, break! Yeah! That's a good idea! Are you hungry? We can watch something on Youtube and eat in the living room. You're OK with that?"

Lovely gingerly nods; it's best not to comment or ask about this Vega person since the name alone made their friend jumpy. They push their chair back, stretch their stiff spine, and get up to help set the plates and cutleries while the Freelancer heats the lunch they made in the morning. 

They then move to the living room with a tray of food and drinks, where the couch and coffee table are surrounded by pillows and blankets thrown around messily. 

"You play video games, right?" The Freelancer asked after Lovely settle down on the couch with a blanket over their lap. "Do you want to watch a playthrough or something?"

"Sure! Do you and Gavin play video games too?"

"Gavin does, though he usually only plays those dating sim games for girls. It's a guilty pleasure of his."

"Oh, Otome Games? My respect for your boyfriend just levelled up. Has he ever played Hatoful Boyfriend?"

"Uh... I don't remember he ever mentioned that title. What is it about?"

"We're watching a playthrough of that game. Right now. You can watch it with me, but you can't tell Gavin anything, OK? I promise you're going to love his reactions."

Lovely's eyes light up with glee and grin widely as the Freelancer switch on the Smart TV. When thumbnails of pigeons with pink hearts in the background pop up on the screen, they immediately throw an incredulous look at the Energetic. 

"That top playlist is good to watch. Come on, sit beside me." Lovely pats on the empty spot on the couch beside them, unperturbed at the look the Freelancer is giving them. "I think you're going to like Okosan."

The Freelancer press play on the first video and kick back on the couch with the Energetic. What's better than having a break after a long study session? Hanging out with a friend with some good food while watching a crazy romance video game about pigeons! 

However, when the fourth video starts to play, the doorbell rings. 

"Uh... are you expecting someone?" Lovely asks curiously; their head is tilting towards the door. Their plate of eggplant pasta and buttered abalones are polished on their lap. The Freelancer internally preened when they enthusiastically complimented on theirs and Gavin's cooking skills. 

Anyway, the Freelancer moves their empty tray onto the coffee table and flip over the blanket to get up. "Not really. Gavin said he'll be coming back home at night." They explain and went towards the door when the doorbell ring once more. 

A delivery man greets the Freelancer with a stoic face, an armful of flower bouquet, and a thick, rectangular item wrapped in hot red packaging. 

"I, uh, think you got the wrong address?" They said, confused to hell and back. 

The delivery man blinks, unfaze at the Freelancer's greeting. "Good afternoon. Delivery for..." He pauses to read the card attached to the bouquet. "Deviant? We received a request from Gavin to arrange a flower bouquet and some... special chocolates. He also left a message for you: My Deviant has been working so hard lately~ So I got you something to... help you relax. PS: give some of the special chocolates to that gorgeous friend of yours and their boyfriend."

The Freelancer could only gape when the delivery man finished reciting Gavin's message. From the living room, Lovely is also doing an excellent mimicking of a goldfish. Their stunned expression made the man sigh tiredly. "Look, I'm not going to judge your... bedroom activities. Just take the packages already. I still have more stops to deliver."

"O-Oh my god! I'm really, really sorry about my boyfriend!" The Freelancer finally snaps out of it and stammers an apology. Their face is bright red. They hurriedly accept the flowers and package, shoot a quick thank you and slams the door shut. 

Lovely watches as the Freelancer stares into the bouquet with a mixed feeling, something between fondness and extreme embarrassment, before they scream into the large sunflowers. 

They patiently wait for the Freelancer to get it out of their system before Lovely delicately asks, "So, uh, does Gavin do these sort of things often?"

"No. This is the first time ever." The Freelancer replies. Their voice is muffled because the flowers are still pressed onto their face. "That's what I get for dating an Incubus, I supposed..."

"Aww, don't be embarrassed, dude! I think it's super sweet how much Gavin loves you. Flowers and chocolates? Boy got some serious game; might even give Vincent a run for his money, and you should've seen how we first met."

The Freelancer peeks through the petals and is relieved to find that Lovely wasn't put off by Gavin's forward nature. In fact, they are very accepting of the Freelancer and Gavin's relationship.

Feeling the warmth on their cheeks slowly disappearing, the Freelancer made their way back to the couch. The rectangular package is tossed onto the couch, and the bouquet is on the coffee table. The Freelancer figured they could put the fresh flowers in a water-filled vase later. 

"The guy said that Gavin sent you some chocolates?" Lovely reiterate as the Freelancer began to untie the ribbon and unwraps the box. 

"Special chocolates, and knowing Gavin, I kinda have an idea of what kind of chocolates they are." They admit and make quick work of tearing the paper wrappings. 

Apparently, Gavin ordered two types of chocolates for his Deviant. One box holds a fancy gourmet assortment of salted almonds dipped in rich Belgium chocolate, double chocolate raspberry truffles, vanilla pieces powdered with light matcha and some white praliné hearts. 

Lovely whistle, impressed over the spread. "Your boyfriend really went all out for you!"

The box below it contains rows of heart-shaped chocolates, but the short message written on the card of said box proves it's anything but ordinary treats. 

'These are homemade chocolates made by one of my close associates. She's a Succubus, by the way, and renowned for her aphrodisiac desserts. You can try some first if your Energetic friend doesn't mind being a voyeur.'

The Freelancer promptly throws away the card and cues them, and Lovely shrieking in embarrassment. Neither of them expects the second batch of chocolates. 

"These are sexy chocolates? Like, legit aphrodisiac chocolates made with magic!? Oh my god, I didn't know they were a thing!"

"I didn't either! I was expecting sex toys below the chocolates!"

"Wait - didn't Gavin wants to give these to Vincent and me!? Dude, does he has a thing for Vincent? Because at this point, I should tell you: he noticed that Gavin was purposely riling us up when they first met, and he's been thinking that your boyfriend is out to get him. But, uh, not in the sexy way, but I'm thinking otherwise now. And if that's the case, then you can warn that Incubus to be ready and catch these hands."

The Freelancer groans and hides their face in their hands. "OK, you know what? I'm going to put the special chocolates in the fridge, and then we'll continue watching a few more videos from the playthrough and get back to studying."

"... You're in denial."

"I'm just trying to keep whatever sanity I have left. It's been a crazy year."

"Urgh, tell me about it."

-

That night, at Lovely's and Vincent's apartment: 

"Vincent, baby? I'm back. Look what I got!"

"Welcome home, Lovely. Dinner's ready if you're hungry. Hmm? What's that?"

"It's homemade aphrodisiac chocolates made by a Succubus. Gavin and the Freelancer gave some to us."

"...I'm gonna punch that Incubus in his smug ass face."

"...Does that mean you don't want them in the bedroom tonight?"

"OK, I'll punch him tomorrow. C'mere, Lovely. I've missed you."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."