#assignment which is a huge part of my grade and if i cant i will fail this class even with my a its so fucked up i feel so miserable

[holedyke]

having a freak out moment :')

[sunsetcurvetaintedhotdog]

Let’s Be Kids Again ☀︎

Summary: Reader is having an awful day but luckily Luke is there to help her.

Warning: Probably some language and bad grammar

Word count: 1,766

Honestly, two more weeks left of school, and these teachers don’t give a crap. “UGHH!!” I quickly stood up from my desk because if I keep looking at all the missing assignments and projects that I have to turn in I’m probably gonna lose my mind.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like work just keeps piling up and it’s a never-ending cycle of turning in twenty assignments by the end of the week and then still being behind on fifteen more. I should be out right now not stuck inside on a Saturday. I could’ve gone to the boy’s rehearsal and just sat there. But no here I am stuck in my bedroom with papers all over the place.

I hear a knock at my door “Sweetie Luke’s one the phone come downstairs.” I quickly open my door and bolt downstairs.

Luke and I are best friends although I don’t really like saying it because it reminds me of how much I don’t want to be friends with him. I want more. I’ve had a crush on him for a while now still trying to adapt to the new feeling. I’m not gonna say anything tho it will ruin our friendship if he doesn’t like me back and just make everything awkward between all of us.

“Hey” I heard Luke’s mom talking through the other line “Luke wash the dishes before you leave please I don’t know how you could live in your own filth” on the other side of the phone Luke rolled his eyes at his mother exaggeration, there was only three cups in the sink “yea, yea, ok”. I started giggling at his antics knowing exactly he’s only saying that so she could get off his back. He’s not really gonna do the dishes.

“Hey, ok so I was thinking we could do something tonight. Reg really wanted to go to the new carnival that just opened. Something about needing to get his future told I don’t know” he let out a sigh “what do you think?” As soon as I was about to say sure I remembered the nightmare of homework I have upstairs waiting for me. “Ugh i cant i have homework sorry Lu”

“Forget about homework you could do it another day” “Lu I can’t just forget about it it’s due in a few days” Luke is now pouting “So, you’ve done a lot over the year getting a few bad grades won’t harm you come on party pooper” suddenly a light bulb goes off in his head “Bet i can win you at bumper cars loser has to buy the other one food?” He was teasing her and he knew it. Since they were little they always did bets sometimes going to far as none of them wanted to lose. He knew she wasn’t gonna turn down a bet.

“I hate you. You know that” Luke smiled in victory. “Yes, i love you too” he said with the biggest smile ever. He loved hanging out with her. More at carnivals her unmatched energy always amazed him she was so energetic and he loved it. Someone had to keep up with him right..

“Ok find I’ll meet you at the carnival” “ok see you there” I placed the phone back on the wall and went upstairs to change. Once I was done I headed out but my dad stopped me. “Finished your homework already?” “Uh...um... yea didn’t have that much apparently” yea that was a lie but that was tomorrow’s problem. I walked out and headed to the carnival which was only a few blocks away from my house.

“Hey there trouble” ah trouble the infamous nickname that Alex gave me when we were 12. Luke had made a bet on whoever can scare Mrs. Frances, our 7th grade science teacher, the hardest got to name the their band. Because of me the bands name is Sunset Curve, a huge victory for me but I can’t say the same for Mrs. Frances. She had to eat lunch with a frog that day...ops... yea no I wasn’t sorry it was hilarious but if it wasn’t for me Sunset Curve would be named Bloody Devils cause Luke thought it was cool.

“Hey Al, oh I like your.....” I was cut off by Reggie putting his arms around me and Alex. “WHOS READY TO RIDE THE HORSES!!” Yea Reg has a thing for horses that explains ‘Home is Where my Horse is’.

“Reginald relax go get a corn dog or something” Bobby rolled his eyes at the over excited Reggie bouncing on one leg. He truly loved carnivals. “Ok I’ll be right back after the corn dog we have to get our future told I heard the one here is really accurate I want to know if I end up marrying Reese Witherspoon.”

“Ok guys what do you want to do first? Ferris wheel, go-carts, games, ...bumper cars...” I side glanced at Luke and he was already looking at me. “Oh your on” with that me and him were racing to the bumper car line bumping into each other once we got there. He quickly grabbed me by the waist so I wouldn’t fall on the other people. We were both laughing and smiling like idiots. “We should’ve walked” I said wiping my tears off my face. “Yea probably” he chuckled. “Ok so Al and Bobby get to choose who wins.” i said “Ok deal if I win you have to buy me the biggest ice cream cone they sell here” he said “Ok and if I win....um I want.... “ I looked around and the saw the big pretzel cart “The biggest pretzel they can make” “Deal” we did our handshake and turned around to stand in line.

“Ok Al, Bobby, focus you need to make sure you watch to see who wins” Luke said Alex and Bobby nodded and we were off into our own bumper cars. Me and Luke were bumping off each other and hitting other strangers cars. I think I might get a neck cramp. But it was really fun and I think I won. We got off giggling “ Ok so who is the lucky winner” I asked “Luke I’m never getting a car with you, y/n won” Alex said “yea totally destroyed you dude” Bobby added. Luke let out a snicker “yea please I let her win..” “sure you did bud” Bobby patted Luke on the back and went off to flirt with a girl he had seen earlier in the line. Reggie isn’t back so he might be stuffing his face with corn dogs. “And then there were three” I sighed. Alex turned around from walking in front of me and Luke “yea well make that two there is this really cute skater over there and I think I might go talk to him so peace out” he turned around and walked away. He quickly glanced back and winked at me “have fun”.

“Ok that makes two then, you up to take me on the pretzel offer” I asked Luke, he looked down at me with one of his gorgeous smiles that can brighten up the whole town. Geez why is he making it so hard not to fall in love with him. “Anything for you” he kissed the top of my head and we headed to the pretzel cart. We ordered and sat down on a bench to eat the pretzel. He took many bites but whatever he did pay for it. Still I won so I don’t see how it’s fair he got part of the prize, oh well. “So homework is stressful right?” he asked. I groaned “ugh yes I just wish I could be a kid so I wouldn’t have to do so much work and the only thing I would have to worry about is sleeping in nap time” I rested my head against his shoulder and he rested his against mine. “ Ok then, let’s be kids again then” I looked up at him confused “what?” “Let’s be kids again, let’s ride everything here and completely forget that we have responsibilities for tonight. How does that sound” he was practically buzzing now with excitement “I’m down” I said. “First one to throw up cleans the others room for a week” he said “Bet!”. We got up and starting riding everything that we could.

It’s been two hours and I’m waiting outside the boys bathroom with a water bottle for Luke. Can you guess who won. “Ugh that last ride really pulled some strings” he said. I giggled at him handing him the water bottle. “Up for one more tho” he groaned “depends, i don’t think my stomach can take anything else. “Ferris wheel?” I asked. He nodded and we headed there. Now getting into the ride we sat next to each other and the ride starting going up. The sky was a beautiful mix of pinks, reds, yellows, and blues. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I laid my head on his shoulder while we just admired the sunset. Well i did, I didn’t know that Luke wasn’t looking at the sunset he was looking at me like if I were the most beautiful painting he’s ever seen.

“Y/n...” i glanced back up and what he did next really surprised me. He pushed his lips against mines and I didn’t react I was frozen in place. He was about to pull away when I finally starting kissing back. He took his hand and put it on my cheek and I tangled my hands in his hair. This was amazing I always loved carnivals because of the adrenaline a ride gave you but this completely ruled out that feeling it felt passionate and warm. My stomach was doing flips and I was loving it, everything about this moment was just perfect.

When we finally pulled away we pressed our foreheads together still with our eyes closed “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that” he let out a shaky breath “then do it again” I whispered. He leaned back in to kiss me. This kiss went on a little longer and it was even more passionate than the one before if that was even possible. Now there was nothing stopping us we both know how we feel about each other and we can be together now.

Now not only do I have my best friend with me constantly but I think I might have found my soulmate. I am completely utterly in love with Luke Patterson.

[angelbrock]

con artist love - c.b oneshot

summary: two con artists hate each other but they're set on a mission together to rob a money laundering-staged bank. however, some things go out of hand. - A/N: This is my first ever imagine, i really hope you guys like this! <3 

warnings: SWEARING! SOME SWEET LOVIN 

 AU - SOME PARTS OF THE STORY IS BASED ON A TIKTOK ABOUT GOING FROM ENEMIES TO LOVERS - THE FALLING OFF A ROOFTOP THING - AND SOME OF IT IS BASED ON THE NETFLIX SERIES ‘THE GREAT PRETENDER’. 

masterlist

//

your point of view

i woke up to my alarm being blared at my face, to which i groaned at. i slammed my hand over the snooze button, burying my face back into my pillow as i slowly dozed off; until i felt something poke me from behind. i swatted it off, covering myself with my blanket. then, i felt something poke me once again.

"mmmh." i swatted at it for the second time.

"wake the fuck up!" i jumped up, spuinting my eyes as i adjusted myself to the light. i rubbed my eyes, furrowing my eyebrows intensely, "finally. you're such a heavy sleeper."

"what the fuck are you doing in my apartment, and why are you waking me up at," i looked over at my alarm, "seven in the morning." i rasped out.

colby, the asshole who woke me up, smirked in response, "sheesh, quit being a bitch," he rolled his eyes, chucking a piece of paper at me, "our boss assigned us to a mission, and unfortunately, it's with you." he stuffed his hands into his pockets. i groaned, throwing my head back in annoyance. "nice hairdo, by the way."

i shot a glare towards him, flipping him off before tying my hair up in a bun. "what's the mission." i asked blandly, taking the blanket off of me and getting out of bed.

"i just gave you the mission, cant you read?" i rubbed my temples.

"okay first of all smartass," i walked towards him, pointing my finger directly at his face, to which he brought his face back to avoid, “it’s 7am and i only fell asleep at four in the morning, so you either tell me what our fucking mission is, or you tell boss to find another partner for you. and i’m sure that you don’t want to get on his nerves either, do you bud?” his eyes were widened at the end of my sentence. i let out a gasp, feeling breathless when i finished talking. 

“jesus christ, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” he spoke to himself more than anything, grabbing my finger and pushing it away from his face. “we have to rob a bank. but nobody gets hurt, the whole bank is just a setup for money laundering.” 

“is that it?” colby nodded, “that’s easy. when do we start?” 

“we have to be there by four.” my mouth went agape for a moment,

“then why the hell did you wake me up so early?!” i pushed his chest slightly, a yawn escaping my mouth. he smirked a little, 

“because you’re cute when you’re mad.” he nudged his shoulder against mine, “i’ll see you at two. and be ready with the equipment, i’m not lending you mine if you forget any.” i rolled my eyes at his statement. he walked out the door, flashing me a snarky smile before leaving. 

i pressed my tongue against my cheek, replaying his comment, you’re cute when you’re mad. hm, is that so? i sighed, well i cant go to bed now, since that blue eyed bastard woke me up. might as well start preparinng myself now. i picked up the paper that he that thrown at me earlier, actually bothering to read it. i pouted slightly then nodded, sounds good. 

TIME SKIP - 3:45PM 

i jumped when i heard a harsh knock on my door, but before i could even go and answer it, colby barged inside without warning. “yo grumpy, let’s go.” 

“do you always have to barge in like that, or?” i sarcastically questioned, grabbing my backpack and swinging it over my shoulder. he shrugged, 

“yeah, it’s just you. i don’t need to be polite to you, do i, hm?” he spoke back, smiling just as sarcastically. 

“i wish i hadn’t known you since sixth grade.” i scrunched my nose out of mockery. “let’s go.” he huffed out a laugh, walking ahead of me. i shut and locked the door behind me before i caught up to him. “okay, what’s the plan?” 

“we need to find the roof to this place, apparently there’s some spare room where the security cameras are located, you need to disable them and i’ll get the guards.” i nodded, the elevator ride being awkwardly silent after talking. 

“right, why exactly did boss choose me and you to be partners again?” i rose an eyebrow, fixing my beanie. 

“i don’t know, he said something about us two being compatible for this job,” i gave him a look, “yeah, that’s what my reaction was too. but apparently as much as me and you hate each other, we work really well together. skill-wise.” i just hummed back in response as we walked to my work car; a black jaguar sports car. “i’m driving.”

“uh, what?” i fake laughed out, “i hope you realise that this is my car.” 

“and i hope you realise that i’m the main getaway driver.” he snarkily replied back. i rolled my eyes, tossing the keys at him. he swiftly caught them, smiling sarcastically once again. i got into the passenger seat, putting my backpack near my feet, “aaalright,” he started, buckling his seatbelt, “you got your gear, or did you forget again.”

“fuck off.” i grumbled, looking out the window. god i hate this guy. or do you? the small in my head scolded me. i shook my head at the accusation. 

once we got to the destination, i furrowed my eyebrows at how fancy this ‘bank’ looked. “damn,” i shut the door of my car, getting my bag. “for a money laundering scheme, this place is fucking huge.” colby hummed in response, slinging his gear bag over his shoulder too. “okay, i see a back exit. there must be an emergency exit right above it, maybe we could climb up the ladder to it.” 

“you’re smarter than you look.” he pushed past me, i squinted my eyes at him in annoyance. 

“fucking dick.” i whispered to myself. walking behind him, keeping a close eye behind me. god, i wish i had a different partner. compatible, pshh. boss is fucking stupid to even think that. 

we eventually found an emergency exit, climbing up the ladder and into the building. we hid behind a wall that led to the security room, colby looks over his shoulder, “okay, we have to distract those guards, then we can get in there.” i didn’t respond, waiting for the sign for us to go. 

“hey! what’re you guys doing here!” my eyes widened, 

“oh shit.” i whispered, “we’re um-” before i could even finish my sentence, colby had already shot the four guards that had approached us with tranquilizers, which also caught the other two security guards’ attention, to which he did the same thing to them. “colby, what the fuck are you doing?!” i whisper yelled at him, opening the door quickly and walking in.

“saving us! what else?” i rolled my eyes,

“are you saving us, or are you trying to get us caught?!” i took my jacket off, sitting down at the computers. “because whatever you’re trying to do, is 100% going to get us killed!” i whisper yelled again. 

“shut the fuck up, as if you could think of anything better. ‘uh-i-we’. pfft.” he mocked me, chuckling to himself. “damn relax, it’s just tranquilizers, it’s not going to kill them. they’ll be awake in like two hours.” i clenched my jaw, staying quiet and focusing on hacking the security systems to disable them. 

“there’s so many cameras here, holy shit.” i typed in some codes, switching computers a few times. i had my eyes all over the screen, but colby’s eyes were on me. i could feel it. “stop staring at me dipshit, i can see you through the screen.”

“don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. it’s not everyday that you have guys staring at you.” i turned my hand back to flip him off, causing him to chuckle. after a few seconds, all of the cameras had finally been disabled. i got up from the seat, 

“let’s go, let’s go!” i quickly hurried out of the security room, colby following me close behind. “i’m going left, you go right. there shouldn’t be any workers now. if anything happens-”

“-i’ll buzz you in, gotcha. now go.” we split up, i took my gloves out of my bag, putting them on and using a screwdriver to get the locks off. i stuffed one of my trash bags with all the money that was in the safe. 

i repeated this to about five other safes, i now had two big bags filled with $1000 bills. i was going to do my final round, just when colby had buzzed me in. “y/n! the dude that owns this money laundering place is outside the building, head up to the roof! and then i’ll tell you what to do! over n’ out.” 

“oh fuck,” i buzzed him in, “yes, copy that. over n’ out.” less than a second later, i hear some other guards screaming out at me, 

“whoever’s there! surrender now!” i slung the bags of money over my shoulders, sprinting past them, “GET HER!” i ran as fast as i could. i bolted up the stairs, taking one of my tranquilizer and shooting it at them. 

“y/n, we have backup here waiting, just make sure the money bags are tied and throw them over the roof. we’ll catch them.” colby buzzed in with me, “be careful, please don’t get hurt.” my eyebrows furrowed at the last sentence, feeling a slight flutter in my stomach. 

“o-okay. th-thanks.” i buzzed back with him. please be careful... never thought he’d be the person to care about someone like me.. 

i reached to the roof, doing as colby said; throwing the money bags over, “you got nowhere to go now, pretty girl.” i breathed heavily, 

“colby, help.” i whispered into the earpiece.

the group of guards began walking towards me, causing me to walk backwards towards the edge. i slipped a little, gasping then catching myself. “y/n, i’m gonna need you to trust me with this one, okay? please.” i furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. 

“what?-”

“just trust me,” he said into the earpiece, “i need you to jump.” my eyes widened.

“what?!” i whisper yelled, 

“what the fuck have you done to our money, bitch.” 

“just trust me y/n! jump!” i mentally cursed to myself, here goes nothing. i’m gonna die. 

 “you’re stuck with us now, get her!” before they could get close to me, i pointed my fingers into a gun position, 

“bye bitches.” then saluted to them, stepping off the edge. they all shouted for me, i was falling down two stories. yep, i’m dead. the air grew more tense and heavy around me.

i closed my eyes just as i thought i was going to land on the concrete grounds, i felt as if i was being embraced by someone. then, i heard the grunt of someone familiar, “are you alright?! y/n?!” colby’s worried voice called out for me. i slowly opened my eyes, seeing his face inches away from mine.

“colby?” i whispered lowly, feeling my eyelids getting heavier, i felt insanely dizzy. i hummed a little. he had caught me in his arms, holding me tightly. 

“oh shi-” was all i heard before passing out. 

TWO HOURS LATER

i heard faint voices as i slowly woke up. i was now laying on my bed. “congratulations to both of you, you both did amazing on this mission.” “thanks boss.” colby’s deep and tired voice responded back, i felt shivers down my spine when he spoke. “alright, i’ll leave you to it. tell her i hope she feels better.” i was now laying on my bed. 

the door opened and shut. i heard colby sigh, then i felt his hand cup my cheek; his fingers gently brushing a few strands of my hair away from my forehead, those same butterflies fluttered in my stomach. i shut my eyes tightly before slowly opening them, he retracted his hand away from my face. i gulped a little, opening my eyes completely. “bgh.” my hand went to the side of my temple, “ugh.” i groaned, my head was pounding. 

“grumpy’s awake,” i turned my head to the side, making eye contact with him. “how you feeling?” he quietly asked.

“like ten pounds of bricks took a shit on my head.” he laughed a little, watching me get up slowly. i groaned, my hand slipping, 

“woah, be careful.” he held my waist, getting up a little and helping me sit up. “you’re still a little drowsy.” i looked into his eyes as he helped me, trying to ignore the tint in my cheeks, his face was turning a little red too, he cleared his throat and sat back down. 

“what happened anyways?” i asked, pressing on the side of my neck, feeling it ache.

“one of those douchebags shot you with a tranquilizer dart.” i huffed, “but, we succeeded on our mission.” he smiled a little, “i guess we do make good partners.” i shrugged a little, 

“yeah, i guess we do.” i smiled a little. “thank you for saving me, by the way..”

“of course, i wasn’t going to let you die.” he looked away, “i can’t let that happen.” he mumbled under his breath. i bit the inside of my lip, trying to fight a smile. “thank you for trusting me.”

i breathed out a small laugh, “no problem.” it then fell silent for a long time before he spoke up.

“hey, grumpy,” i giggled to myself at the nickname, humming in response, “um..” i rose my eyebrows, indicating him to continue, “i- i just wanted to say that i’m sorry for treating you like shit all the time.. i just-” he sighed, gulping. “i-”

“just say it colby,” i softly spoke to him. 

he bit his lip out of nervousness, “i’ve liked you for.. years now..” holy shit, “and-and i know i don’t have a chance with you, but, after seeing you in danger today, i couldn’t see the sight of you ever getting hurt. and i completely understand if you don’t feel the same about me, but i-” i cut him off, getting up and cupping his cheeks before caressing my lips over his. he was taken aback from the kiss, but slowly melted into it. 

he brought his hands over my hips, pulling me on top of his lap. i ran my fingers through his hair as our lips moved softly. fitting together perfectly. i pulled away for a moment, “i can’t believe i’m saying this,” he pecked my lips gently, “but i like you too colby.” he smiled, i copied his expression before kissing him once again. 

“thank fucking god.” he mumbled against my lips. i giggled. continuing to kiss him. he got up from the chair, my thighs wrapped around his waist as he led us back to my bed, laying me down and getting on top of me. “who knew con arists like us could ever fall for each other.” our noses brushed against each other, looking deeply into one another’s eyes.

“who knew.” we smiled before kissing once again. 

that, is cliche isn’t it. oh well.

[half-a-hetero]

ATLA BATTLE OF THE BANDS AU SETUP PT. 1

oK SO I’VE HAD THIS AU IN MY HEAD FOR TWO FKN DAYS AND I HAVE COME TO EVER SO GRACIOUSLY INJECT IT INTO YOUR MIND- THE GAANG PLUS YUE AND THE FIRE NATION GALS IN BANDS. a battle of the bands au. tHINK OF THE aRt. n i’m thinking zukka and yueki, and they meet at battle of the bands but yk...we got 2 sets of pining idiots yk yk. i thought this up five (5) days ago and iM DYING 

(tw: mentions of canon-typical abuse, and past death)

this is basically just the setup but i’ll add little tidbits and worldbuilding and art later

zuko (18): drums + backup vocals

mai (16): bass guitar

ty lee (15): keyboard

azula (15): lead guitar + vocals

suki (17/18): rhythm guitar

they do some group vocals/harmonies but not that often

so like azula has this really strong, really powerful voice, and that means she could do really moving rock ballads/power ballads, and etc etc. she took extensive guitar and voice lessons as a kid because of That Fucker Ozai™ and thats why she has so much control. same with zuko, except he didnt take voice lessons (he just liked singing) and quit guitar after ozai went to jail (it was a painful reminder of The Shit He Went Through) and took up drums to let out his anger and frustrations instead. Azula stuck with guitar because it was something she loved to do, despite her past.

where azula has a bold voice, zuko has a raspy-yet-smooth-at-the-same-time one that matches azula’s really well. while she’s off singing power notes, hes singing the lower, raspier undertones and it sounds really nice.

zuko also took up art classes and is genuinely proud of his work.

he’s secretly (its not that much of a secret) an art nerd

zuko, azula, and suki wrote a few songs together, kinda

for lack of better explanation, ozai was (canon-typically) abusive, and he got drunk one day and got mad at zuko and pushed him. zuko fell into the fireplace, and boom. scar.

azula got mainly mental trauma because zuko would take the blow for her, but she got therapy and theyre both for the most part better (there are still some relapses)

azula’s secretly a DC nerd

zUkO wEaRs riNgs 

the canon-typical atla “ozai pitting them against eachother sibling rivalry” comes into play through guitar (hence why zuko drops it. he wanted to let his sister have something she loved for herself. also, he didnt like it). ozai was a classical guitarist and famous [the money and the “royalty” canon aspects]

should i….mullet zuko?

aro azula and toph >>>>

ty lee is still from the circus, except this time mai was there too, which is where she learned knife-throwing. they both ran away from the circus summer after freshman year and met azula though mai’s bass lessons (alternatively, they met at martial arts classes). theyre 14/15. they moved in with azula, zuko, and iroh around the middle of sophomore year (grade 10) when ozai was arrested. the azula and ty lee were 15, mai was 16, and zuko was 17 at the time, around the ages they were in the show when the war ended (i think??)

azula said it didn't matter cause they had a huge house. she says it was half-empty, anyways, but mai and ty lee know that meant she liked their company.

they get along really well with suki

everyone realizes they can all play instruments, the core parts of a [rock] band. they start playing together, and eventually decide to become a band

their band is called ‘the kyoshi warriors’ (or something idk this is off the top of my head) in honor of the girls’ martial arts instructor, master kyoshi, who passed away

WAIT SJITGHHFSD FAN THE FLAMES IS A GOOD NAME TOO WHAT (although i can see that being more of a song name) credits to boom ( @boomerangsandadora) for that (go check out their ideas on this au)

theyre inseparable

together, mai, ty lee, suki, azula and zuko look fucking menacing. just imagine that. fucking bamfs

mai skateboards. just. this is a kind of important plot device. shh.

suki joins their friend group gradually. first, she’s attended azula’s martial arts class since they were in second grade, and moved up the belts like wildfire (along with azula). she tried to befriend azula a few times, but gave up over the years because azula wasnt interested in friendship (no thanks to ozai pressuring her to always be first. azula saw her as a rival, suki saw azula as a particularly competitive classmate and but equal in skill). She was zuko’s classmate since freshman year (grade 9) but only became his friend in sophomore year through a literature assignment the two were paired up in. she was really his only friend, cause everyone was too busy sizing up his scar. the two became inseparable then on.

she plays rhythm guitar because she loves guitar but agrees that azula is better at being in the (relative) spotlight

on the outside, suki and zuko looked tough, but underneath that, they’re two bumbling, pining gay idiots

suki’s parents both died in a fire, so she grew up with her “cool gay aunt” who was also a feminist and a mixed martial arts instructor.

suki spends her time teaching the beginner classes at the dojo

she met azula + the girls thru martial arts and zuko

overall thingies:

even though zuko is oblivious to sokka’s reciprocate feelings, no one else is. mai, azula, and ty le are just like “zuko wtf you’re more blind than toph”

he thinks the rest of his friends dont know about his crush bu he forgets who his sister is. honestly. all he talks about is sokka, it isnt hard.

unlike a lot of other bands, they actually have more complicated and interesting bass riffs, and a lot of times when writing songs they start with bass and build up from there

azula and toph get along becaus theyre the only sensible ones around. all their friends are pining idiots and they bond over their mutual superiority 🪄🧃🧃

mai skateboards at the same skatepark as sokka and aang. she’s long since past trying to teach zuko (he’s an uncoordinated gay mess) (who can somehow still play drums ??what???)but once she sees him agree to learn to skate from sokka she knows what’s up

suki’s birthday is during th time this fic happens, and she invites yue to the party (she tells zuko he has to invite sokka because even though she loves her bestie, he really is dumb)

“hey yue, we’re having a little get-together for my birthday, and i was wondering if you wanted to come?” compare to zuko’s “uh—hey sokka? i, um. suki’s birthday is pretty soon, and, well. we’re having a get-together to celebrate? and i—she asked me to invite someone? andifyoudontwannagothatstotallyfineimsorryforbotheringyou-” (includes much stammering and heavy blushing)

on the outside suki’s all calm (someone has to be the “i’m a mess but i dont look it” friend🙄🙄. honestly)but on the inside she’s like

“oh my gOD is that dyed hair hOLY FUcK thats so badass and she pLAYS BASS TOo that’s hOt”

“WAITWHATTHEFUCKISSHESPEAKINGTOME- ?? she’s laughing now she’s gORGEOUS- ThE giGGLEs i CANt bREatHE-”

“hOLY mOtHEr of kYosHi sHe’s wEAriNG lEsbiAn riNgS sHIT and her voice is so nice too fUCK i think i’m in love-”

[mrfutureboy]

I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊

Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3

Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂

Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.

Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓

Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.

So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)

(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)

I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)

Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)

So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

 Ok guys its finally finished!!

Introducing the last two main families in my anxciet au!

Please meet the princes

The Prince family

( from left to right)

Rebecca Prince

The boys’s Mother, goes by the names Mother, Ma, and Bec-bec

Her and Diana have been married for 7 years at this point, and been together for about 10(they met and started dating on and off since high school until they got back together permanently during college)

Punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom punk mom-

She raised roman on her own for his first year before remus was born, in which she started dating Diana again more seriously

She majored in nursing and later in  sociology in college before dropping out to take care of her boys and raise them right

Shes currently going back to school for the sociology degree inbetween her current job

She works as nurse and receptionist at a doctors office in town

Shes in her mid forties current time( where roman is 22, remus is 21, and kingley is 14)

Shes a pretty tough love kinda parent, and doesnt mind rough housing with her boys when they get too out of line and rowdy( they all enjoy the playfullness of it)

But compared to Diana she is not the scary when angry parent, and she can actually be pretty lenient with the boys depending on the situation

She also tends to be the one who gives into their requests and in kingley’s case, puppy eyes, though she puts on a tough front when she does

Rebecca is such a softie for her family I just i cant she loves them so much

She makes dad jokes just to annoy and embarrass her sons, but only makes either classic dad jokes or purposely really bad ones

100% supportive of her older boys’s relationships, and loves to tease Roman about Patton all the time

She also enjoys building things, and helped build the play structure and treehouse that are in the backyard.

Shes probably the reason Remus has no filter, as she has little filter herself

Her hair is naturally honey brown but she dyed it recently to make a statement to a shitty coworker so currently her hair is purple blue and pink

Shes usually pretty reserved around anyone thats not her family, so its a bit of a shock when people see her playful and rowdy compared to her reserved, professional front

Remus prince

The middle child at 21 but hey he can (legally) drink!

Wild feral trash man no matter what, but now hes got a switchblade and two brothers hed fucking kill for( though he wont admit it about roman)

Hes dating Logan and shows a slightly softer side to him only, and hes ride or die with his boyfriend

He tried college but it didnt suit him, so he ended up dropping out and instead getting two part time jobs: one as a vet assistant and one as a bartender, both located near his current apartment

Hes been best friends with Ethen for as long as he can remember, they grew up together and he considers Ethen a brother practically, and remus would probably be in a bad place without him and Remus recognizes this

He has a love for theater and acting that he shares with his older brother Roman and was in pretty much every school performance growing up, and even majored in theater for a bit when he was in college

He also writes alot of original short horror stories 

Hes an adrenaline junkie and loves doing reckless things for the fun of it( usually dragging Ethen or Logan along with him)

He doesnt have a youtube channel of his own but he pops up frequently enough on Ethen’s channel when joining him for explorations that Ethen’s subscribers know him well, and love seeing him in videos

Hes only got two filter and their names are Logan and Ethen 

He wants to get a snakes as pets just as much as Ethen but Their apartment has strict rules 

That did not however stop him from bringing home a in rehabilitation small fresh water turtle home from work one day, and its the only exception to the no pets rule because Remus fought tooth and nail over the fact it was part of his JOB DAMMIT HES KEPPING THE TURTLE IT NEEDS CONSTANT CARE--

ahem. anyway the turtles name is Sir snappy and he adores her

He LOVES teasing both his brothers, even if it means getting teased back he can usually take what he dishes out

usually.

He also has a drivers license but does not currently have a car as he is trying to save up to buy a motorcycle 

Kingley “King” Prince

The youngest of the family!! The also the shortest!!

He goes by the nickname “ King” and has for a couple years now

Hes fourteen and hes very upbeat and cheerful!

Hes also one of Andy’s best friends( He isnt crushing on andy dont listen to remus) and theyve been friends since second grade

Did I mention that they have sleepovers as often as they can? Because they try to. Usually King, andy, and Liam are nearly glued to the hips unless they cant be

Hes got a wild imagination and lots of ideas that he loves to share and try to put out as songs, stories, drawings, etc

He has severe ADHD and takes medication to help him narrow his focus more, as well as to keep his energy levels more consistent so he wouldnt be hugely energetic in the morning and dull and falling asleep by noon. But the medication doesnt effect his creativity sometimes it even helps boost it because he can focus better on his ideas instead of getting too many ideas at once to focus on and work on

His hair has blonde highlights in the winter and looks nearly fully blonde in the summer

Hes got his mama’s caramel brown eyes and tanner skin, as apposed to his ma’s more peachy skin and green eyes

This boy loves to wrestle and roughhouse, hes got alot of energy that needs to be ran out by bedtime and what better way then wrestling his older brothers for the tv remote when they visit? Or playing games at the park or in the backyard until the sun goes down 

He also loves to sing and draw, he can usually be caught humming and you can find doodles all over his homework and school assignments

He also got braces when he was 12 and he loves them and always gets new colors for them as often as he can convinces his parents to agree to

Roman Prince

The eldest brother at 22!

He works at the local theater as a theater tech and assistant director and also performs in a good chunk of the plays put on as well

He loves his job, especially when they put on musicals

He has a college degree in directing and one in music composing

Hes known his boyfriend patton since they were kids since their families are really close, 

He also writes his own short plays and stories that are sometimes performed at his work!!

Oh and this boy our boy roman can cook, hes learned all his cooking from his parents and absolutely loves cooking and learning new recipes and experimenting with old recipes! He also brings extra food into work to share with his coworkers and the actors in case someone doesnt have food with them or the money to buy something( as some of the workers there are broke college students or high schools trying to get experience) He and Patton share this hobby and sometimes have playful cooking competitions in their kitchen!!

Hes got a huge dvd collection that fills tree shelves of a bookshelf in their apartment 

He also holds some acting lessons to younger workers at the theater in the case someone is struggling with a role or performace

Roman is also a very smooth motherfucker in the romace department when he wants to be. Hes romantic and pays alot of to little details and goes all out for date nights, whether theyre at home dates or going out dates he tries to make it as perfect to you as possible

Also he speaks spanish and likes to sing to Patton in spanish to swoon him on a bad day

Diana Prince

The boys’s other mother! Goes by Mama, Mum, and baba

Shes in her late thirties early fourties

did I mention theyve been married for years? I did? Good good

Diana is a blunt sweetheart with a bubbly, snappy personallity and a fiery temper

Shes really good with kids and has a degree in child psychology and works as a guidance counselor at the local high school

She also helps out at their neighborhood’s church with events and sometimes helps with services as an organ player

She plays piano and has been since she was young, she can also play the guitar

She absolutely adores her family but watch out if they break a rule or get themselves into trouble she is the stern one and does not let them get out of trouble. Puppy eyes are wasted on her you do the crime you do the time and the extra chores no arguing.

That is not to say that she wont listen and hear her boys out though, its just normally after hearing them out theyre still in the wrong( pray for remus is he ever got arrested for anything cough cough the homecoming incident cough cough)

Shes been friends with Emile since high school and sees his boys almost like her own, and cares for them as such. 

She speaks spanish and told Roman and the others from a young age, but Roman is the only one who kept with it strongly, Remus only uses it when he angry and King is still learning

Shes an amazing cook, on par or even better than Emile( a statement that has been yet to be confirmed)

She is also a confirmed lover of making big meals 

She loves being outdoors and playing with her kids

She also enjoys doing embroidery as a relaxing hobby

And lastly introducing...

The Daniel family!!

(from left to right)

Olivia Daniels

Logan and Liam’s mom! Shes a psychology professor at the local college! 

Shes been going by the name Olivia for about 16 almost 17 years now and shes never been happier!

Olivia is technically their step mother, as she joined the family after Logan and Liam were born, but very early in their lives( Logan was 10 and Liam was three)

shes in her mid thirties

Her and richard have been married for 12 years and are still going strong!!

olivia is more of a gentle soul kinda person, shes peppy and softer spoken and has a very soothing and trusting presence to her. Shes easy to make laugh and loves making people smile

She also enjoys bringing treats to her classes for her overworking students

Shes not much of a cook but she does try dammit

Looks super sweet but shes a force to be reckoned with if you fuck with her children let me tell you

She wouldve made an excellent therapist had she gone into that field, shes good at listening and offering solutions

She also paints in her spare time!! And sells her paintings at local art shows!!

Shes got the worst sweet tooth ever Richard has to hide sweets in the house

She also works at the same college Logan attends, same with his father

Shes the only blonde in the family with green eyes

 Logan Daniels

Out sassy skeptic! He’s 20 years old and currently attending college with a biology major and a astrology minor!

Hes pretty reserved at first glance, being the calm and common sense to both his best friend Virgil and his boyfriend Remus

But hes such a dork when you get to know him. He could go on for hours and hours about his interests(something Remus loves listening to)

He lives in a single person dorm on campus and works in the student union as well as does tutoring sessions for high schools for extra credits

Hes been dating Remus for a good four almost five years , and they met in freshman year of high school

His dorm room is covered in various posters for astrology and bands he enjoys, as well as a few old theater posters from Remus’s old performances

He was  goddamn punk during high school, and Virgil loves to bring this up to embarrass him

He likes to always wear business casual unless hes staying in, and even then sometimes he keeps to his fashion habits a little too hard

Hes a decent cook, but he doesnt refuse the offer of someone else cooking for him either( or even going out to eat now and then) 

Hes a very large and firm skeptic and greatly enjoys debating with virgil different aspects of his beliefs and paranormal experiences, and functions as the one between them to reason away happenings with logic as a way to ease Virgils nerves. 

But he IS willing to see his best friends side of things if he is provided solid proof. 

He also makes plenty of appearances on Virgil’s channel for a variety of reasons, and his fanbase really likes him

Hes also a very protective older brother, and is not afraid to verbal destroy anyone who hurts his little brother(much to Liams angsty horror) 

He does have a car that he put Remus on his insurance for, so if his boyfriend ever DID need to drive it he would without complications

Logan also does join the boys on explorations, though this is a more rare occurance as he’d rather help them edit the videos and put them out in a timely manner

Hes pretty good at managing his student budget, but he has those moments of splurging randomly for things( as we all do sometimes)

Hes got a really REALLY nice laugh that not too many people outside his inner circle have heard

His eyes are a dark blue just like his dads, and he keeps his dark brown hair messy but practical

Liam Daniels

Logan’s baby brother! Our boy is 13 years old!!

Hes andy’s other best friend, and the final link to their little trio

Hes the more stoic of the three, as he is entering his rebellious angsty teen years a couple years early. 

He loves space and the ocean, and wants to be a marine biologist someday.

Hes not the best at being social, thats why hes got King as their talker and hes the snarky fighter

This boi is alot fiestier than he looks but only his friends and family know that, and he will throw down if you even just look at his loved ones the wrong way( despite his height)

He doesnt always get social cues either which makes him come off kinda rude in situations but I promise he doesnt mean it 

Someone got his mothers sweet tooth but cant have too much sugar because it messes with his body too much

like when he crashes from a sugar high he crashes hard and its BAD

Hes the shortest of his friends, just barely half an inch shorter than Andy

He always looks half tired and like he needs coffee but he cant have coffee so...

he loves to read and his room is filled with so many books!!

He also has a stuffed animal collection but shush about that its a secret

Hes also a spicy food lover( at least to a point, nothing too extreme) 

He likes baggier clothes because theyre more comfortable, and he prefers comfort of fashion

His eyes are a brighter blue and he keeps his hair alot neater than his brother’s

Hes also very snappy, with a comeback for almost everything

Richard Daniels

The dad!! He works as a chemistry professor at the college and a part time physics teacher at the local high school( switching days)

Hes very tall at 6′2(compared to the rest of his family)

He looks really strict but hes surprisingly laid back about alot of things( though rules and discipline are NOT one of those things) 

He is in his early fourties

He took care of the boys on his own for logans first ten years and Liams three before he met Olivia

Hes got the scolding parent look and The Tone mastered and sometimes even uses both on his students to get them to behave, with wildly successful results

Hes very logical and skeptical of things “unrealistic”

Was a stressed out stick in the mud before he met his wife, as he was a new single father trying to secure tennure in a teacher job

Hes the cook in the house, and is really good at it.

hes a more silent understood supporter of his children, as he is much more reserved than his wife

But he as the biggest soft spot for her 

He always tries to raise his boys with a strong balanced set of values and manners

He also can play lacrosse, and was considered the best player back in school

He doesnt have a good relationship with his family aside from his mother, so the boys have only met their grandma on that side, as he doesnt want any toxic mindsets or ideals influencing his children( especially Liam)

compared to Olivia  he isnt soft spoken at all but he would rather dissolve issues with communication and clarification, not anger or violence( yeah LIAM)

He also enjoys watching documentaries and doing casual photography from time to time

And its finally done!! All for families are complete and posted!!

Im really proud of these!! Especially the prince family photo! It took me days to figure out the poses...

All art referenced is credited to @aimasup @underdog-arts and @fangirltothefullest !!

Anyway i hope you guys enjoy! And hopefully soon ill be posting some writings for this au too! And posting more drawings! Enjoy!!

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@soupspam

@strawberryjellystuff

@aimasup

@unsocialchapeau

@underdog-arts

@fangirltothefullest

[mithrilbookofmystery]

Things that I did not actually think were real for whatever reason until I was like 11 or 12 despite having previous knowledge about them

Narcolepsy (I read the Mysterious Benedict Society when I was like. In second grade. Fuck if I know why I read this much as a kid, I have failed to do so as much recently, which sucks major ass. Anyways, one of the main characters in the book, Mr. Benedict himself, in fact, had narcolepsy. The book(s) (there's three of them) do a fairly good job at explaining what it is and how it works, so I never felt the need to ask my mom or anyone what it was, but it also did a good enough job at explaining it that I thought the author had just made it up for the plot. Everyone else had plausible but still slightly unbelievable powers that stretched reality somewhat, why couldn't Mr. Benedict?) (Anyways I saw an ad for a sleeping medication that was like "do not take if you have narcolepsy" when I was 13 or smth and I was like that "BEYONCE????" meme but I was the lady and I was saying "NARCOLEPSY????")

Synesthesia (Similar story to how I learned about it, I was once again reading too much. This time with the Secret Series. (The Name of This Book is Secret, This Book is Not Good for You, that good shit) In which several major side characters have synesthesia, also it's a major plot point. Honestly, this is the part that made the books unbelievable for me?? The rest of the plot I was like "ah yes. Vaguely plausible" but for whatever reason I drew the line at hearing sounds when you smell certain things) (probably because thought it was way too cool to be real at the time) (Figured out this was real through a youtube rabbit hole I went down at midnight when I was like 13. Never been more surprised in my life. Also found out that I have it, albeit very mildly!! Apperently sorting letters and numbers based on their personality isnt normal. Who would have thought.)

The movie "The Time Bandits" (ok this one's interesting, because I did see the movie before I thought it wasnt real. It was just that I was 6 or so and I head the movie from my bedroom so I went in to watch and my mom was like "go back to bed, it's past your bedtime and you're too young for this" so I went back but I kept sneaking into the doorway to watch. This is a very hard way to gather the plot, by the way. Though, some images from it are still incredibly vivid - the dwarves talking to the holographic face of god, the wall moving in the boy's room, the ancient Egypt scene, the firefighter winking at the boy at the very end. It was all very surreal. After bedtime before you're 10 is a very timeless moment.) (I saw it playing on TV several months ago. I was like "this cant be the same thing, right??? That wasnt real, right??????" And then it was)

The movie "Meet the Robinsons" (The first time I saw this I was about 5 maybe and incredibly sick. I had made myself a pillow fort out of the couch in the living room in front of the TV and watched whatever was playing as my mom fed me yogurt (I did not like the yogurt). It was this. For whatever reason.) (This is one of my earliest memories) (Honest to god, I do know know how I found out this was real. Still pretty sure it was a fever dream I had, and that I may or may not still be having. I dont know the plot of it at all. I only remember the fruit hat and the emo kid. That's it)

That mouse trap movie (you know, the one where the two guys have the huge house amd they're trying to catch this one mouse. Mr. Noodle's in it, or, well, the guy who played Mr. Noodle when I was young enough to watch Sesame Street. I was so surprised to find out that he actually talked when I watched it again when I was like 10)

"The City of Ember" story as a whole (embers?? Ambers???? They're underground bro, theres a messenger girl, the guy takes her place in the sewers bc they all got assigned jobs for whatever reason, idk bro, you know what I'm talking about) (I saw this at a family friend's house when I was 7 or 8. I remember that the DVD had no set on either side, and I asked "hey how do you know what movie this is?" And the mom said "the title's right here, sweetie" but I still did not see the title. Every face fron that movie slips my mind, but I do remember the red cape. And how dark the town was.) (I saw the book at my local library when I was in 6th grade or so and I picked it up and I was like "why do I recognize that title?" and then I read the back and I was like "why do I recognize that plot?" and then I got vivid flashback to being about 7 or 8 at the family friend's house.)

[oswednesday]

yesterday i made curry and cleaned a bunch, nothing like harsh or chemically just tidy’d between online like chores, i really like making meals that arnt urgent and like going about the house in like a Gentle way it really feels like the place gets woken up with you? i hope to be able to do that more and like carry that with me or like in the future itll be working on projects while stuff is cooking like oh dreamy it feels like if i sit down to work work i might burn something ggdf like theres a different sense of urgency but omg so i just made food and fell asleep basically and heres the only part i really remember, this was like a recipe level intro to this dream im sharing fdgdf

i was in a class but it was set in my preschool caf which was also the areas like rec center, it has a stage like it does irl, its very like ethnic of it dsdsd and the class was like a reading literacy thing where we practiced reading out loud and stuff so maybe more of an acting class? but it was in the dream like englishy like a reading class, which omg my grade school did seperate reading from like grammar now that im thinking on it, omg anyway this old book collector had donated a bunch of books from like the 17th century cause whatever fantasy currency he had only accumilated based on Deeds he was still mega wealthy but you know like ooohh nooo my massive wealth is only huge how embrassing and i had volunteered to read them like hehehe he’ll fall in love with me, and there was like a class host? class rep? or whatever like an older student who sat in with the younger students to help as apart of like guidance thing older students are expected to do in catholic schools (or at least the ethnic ones fdgfd) and she was dressed goth and so was i and like a teacher was like which one of yous shawl is this and she was annoyed that my stuff would be confused with mine and as im typing this im like pretty sure this girl in my dreams was my actual like assigned older student like we got lunch buddies or w/e and they were suppose to like share food and talk with us and like eat with us as like a mixed age thing and she was sooo mean and didnt share anything i cant fully remember what she did or said but one of the other students like took me from her and had doubled up like hey get away from that person and i recall now feeling like oh no im doing something wrong i should go back to her, hmm much to think about

but omg then i left the class with people i knew from highschool who were both like not the core group and nice to hang out with casually and became like seperated from the group cause of group drama or just like different life directions with no self awareness of it, but in the dream it was just us, the latter one was trying to get validation from us and like teachers about becoming a military nurse and we were like noooo dont be a bootlicker and also how dangerous that is for your person and like the building we were in was like so so different ive never really been in a building like that before it was like the vague feeling of a school building in a scifi setting but with like darker lighting and blue tones like 90s scifi, it was time for gym and i didnt want to change so i just hiked my skirt up i was wearing like this extra long black one, some boy kid came in to harass us and i was looking for a decent place to get changed but it was all just like lockers like the alchoves of lockers was shaped like a square with a wall missing also hey isnt it wild that young children are expected to get naked in front of their peers and teachers and shamed when they use the bathrooms to change like there’s absolutely nothing else like that in society where thats acceptable and on top of that most american schools dont even have like gym uniforms so its like get judged twice in an american gym class

but omg okay like you have to leave the changing room to have access to the bathroom but the hall wasnt like a full hall it was like half walls with a space under it too, and the kid threw a red rubber ball in after me and it like bounced and rolled back into the changing room, the toliets were at the end of the hall, no doors but they were facing like the opposite direction so like your back would be too each other if both were occupied and like the “boys” one was super clean and new and the “girls” one was clogged unclean and junky and i was calling to the others to look at this, act of sexism and i group had gathered to be like hey wtf and then it clipped to like lunch

it was like a sushi bar from another planet like i recognized the food and what it should look like plated because in the dream ive like read about it, but how it was like to be assembled i had no idea like you were suppose to do it yourself and people, older students and teachers and other staff, sat around the serving station, i didnt know what to do and was afraid to cut into a group so i was doing my best to put the food together how i remembered from books but i knew i was doing something wrong, finally someone got up from a table that was nearer to a wall and had put me in front of a kitchen worker that was still doing stuff and they had an exchange in the planet’s like native language or like the language from whereever we were on the planet and i thought i was in trouble cause the exchange sounded urgent but then the worker was like if you dont know what youre doing it can be dangerous and then showed me how to crack and peel this eel like thing that had to be open up like a shrimp to be edible and like what parts to pull off and like you had to eat that first as the Start of the meal and the worker was like your homeroom teacher had boasted about a student who had read into the culture we were in and i was all like super embrassed like oh thats me haha!! ;’;’;’;’ and the worker was like i noticed, you did as good a job as you could on your own and then after i had gotten help at like all the food stations i went to go sit with like the First Years who were in a different eating area with like a pull down projector set up playing stuff like the gist of it was like visual lessons in the guise of like media like eduatainment from the native culture and i woke up before i could find a seat

[zeroroheichou]

why do i always do this to myself

after the first group project this semester i didnt wanna deal with my partner anymore, so i decided to take on all of the work for the second part of the project myself. i was well aware that this would be a huge undertaking when my professor explained the project, and i knew that i was going to have to work ahead to keep on top of everything.

and yet in spite of knowing this, and knowing it would only get worse as the days went on without working on it, i could never bring myself to stay focused on the project. i always end up getting distracted by a fanfic, or by listening to music because i dont wanna sit in silence for twelve hours but i cant focus if i have any music with words on or even without words either apparently

on wednesday i said to myself “ok now you have to try and finish as much as possible by monday so that you can ask the prof any final questions or show her your progress” and spoiler alert! between the procrastination, the difficulty of finding some information, and the overwhelming amount of information to sift through for other parts i barely made any progress! 

and now its 5:30 AM on Monday night , out of like 7 parts to this assignment im still working on part 3. which is what i stayed up working/procrastinating on all night LAST night, except i think i didnt research quite enough for that part so then i ended up having to go back and redo that part anyway and now im gonna have to rush through everything on tuesday and wednesday and just

its literally nobodies fault but mine , i knew i needed to work on thhis project and i just kept procrastinating on it anyway and i should probably stay up for the next four hours before my class but i feel like then ill be even more of a dumpster fire tomorrow and now im caught between “taking care of your body is more important than a grade” and “you dont deserve to go to bed because you did this to yourself” and i cant get below a C in this class or else i wont graduate on time and now typing all of this out is just making me feel worse

tomorrows gonna be a shitshow because i have so much to do but how much do you wanna bet im STILL gonna find a way to waste time somewhere in there i hate my brain right now i think im just gonna go to bed 

[brolikeidkman]

An ex friend of mine tried to reach out to me and this will be a post about why I will not speak to her (TRIGGER WARNING:SELF HARM, REFERENCES TO RAPE CULTURE, GENERAL INSURGENT HOMOPHOBIA)

So she reached out to me and I have severe reasons why I completely cut her out of my life. The stories will be numbered. the first one is the longest the rest are pretty short.

#1. The Birthday party.

First, she was always giving off a bad vibe. Not just being a generally grumpy person because I can( and have) dealt with that kind of thing before. She had a ton of drama that came with her because, to be honest, she is a damaged person (None of which was her fault or was a problem for the most part).

The problems that came with her problems was that she created them. Her mental issues caused her to act out in a desperate plea for attention. Now, im a very caring person and I can say that with pride because I have worked hard to be one and I don’t say it lightly. Despite how caring I am I can no longer bring myself to help her because of the way she treated the people around her and me.

First, im going to tell you about my thirteenth birthday party. This is kind of in the middle of all the stuff she did but ill try and keeps all the other events in order so you can see the build up.

So the birthday party was big for me as it was a sleepover and the first birthday party I was having with friends since the first grade. Now as I said, this was a sleepover, so I told all six of my friends that my house didn't have enough room for no one to sleep on the floor and if need be I would sleep in my bed or two people could sleep in my bed and we all discussed how the sleeping arrangements and we figured out where and how everyone would be sleeping. She had volunteered to sleep on the floor. When she got to my house she showed up with no sleep clothes, no blanket, and no pillows. So a bad start. Now I wasn’t going to get upset about it because it wasn't a big deal, but the problems didn't stop there. One of my friends I invited has a very severe allergy to milk so we ordered her her own pizza without cheese. So why did this have anything to do with ex-friend? Because she would not stop commenting on how much of a burden it was. She said we should have just ordered it half cheese and half no cheese(despite the fact that this could have hospitalized my friend) or how she should have brought her own food. (who the fuck does that.)

Then came the presents.

Two of my friends didn't get me a gift because I made it very clear if you don't know what to get me or don't think you can you don't have to get me a gift (the actual wording was “company preferred than presents”). She, however, thought present should be mandatory. My dairy allergic friend got me a stuffed animal that I still have to this day, my ex-friend that has an allergy to sawdust (which comes in later) got me a ten dollar target gift card. My artist friend gave me a drawing (which I think I still have somewhere). Now, my friend that has an allergy to sawdust (which comes in later), She got me this HUGE multicolored crayon. WHICH I LOVED! I had a really close friend in my childhood who used to make them and it was such a fond memory. this friend actually felt really bad about the gift because she thought I wouldn't like it. As I was about to tell her about just why it was so awesome the ex-friend interrupted and said that she could have given me the receipt. Which she had. The ex-friend made comments to the two that didn't bring presents that hey should have. One of them was a friend of mine for five years before (it would have been longer but I had only known her since the moment I moved in you know.) Not only had this friend already gotten me a present  she was also waiting for my actual birthday to give me another present (my birthday is in the summer so it was easier to have a birthday party a month early so I could keep contact for plans inside school) so I was pretty mad but I didn't say anything to the ex-friend because I knew she would start a fight. My old friend is very understanding about this when I tell her this.

The cake went well and there wasn't a problem because we had gotten my dairy allergic friend sherbert ( think this what its called its basically shaved ice sold like ice cream).

Then we had downtime. We played Guitar hero, played Jenga and some suggested we go outside before my art friend had to leave because she couldn't spend the night. Which was good except for two of them. The first was you-know-who and the other was my friend who is allergic to sawdust. She asked if we had done any work on our house and I said no, but that our neighbors had recently sawed down a tree.

I pointed out where it was to her and it isn't close to my house it's on the opposite side of their yard so she said it was okay and I told her to let me know if something was wrong. Now my ex-friend. Not to step on any toes here but I don't believe Ouija boards work. That being said, if someone else believes that they do work im not going to tell them otherwise. She believed they worked but she's an idiot. She told me she couldn't go outside because demons will kill her because she left a bord without saying goodbye and she was alone.(aren't those basic rules?) So we said she didn't have to go outside (which honestly was rude but we needed a break from her at this point). And then she went outside. And pretending she was possessed by demons. Which you know isn't that bad but then she had fits of crying and screaming. And then she did something that is the main reason I bringing this story up. She went to my neighbors' yard and grabbed a handful of the sawdust. AND STARTED CHASING MY FRIEND WITH IT. My friends' sawdust allergy as far from mild she would break out in hives and she had asthma. She also can’t run well because one of her legs is significantly shorter than the other. My ex-friend knew all of these things. So I tackled her. Which went better than I thought it would because she blamed it on the demons so I sent her inside to wash her hands and told my mom to make sure she did and to let me know when she did so we could go back in. My artist friends mom picked her up and then we watched a few movies, played some Minecraft and more guitar hero. Ex-friends mom picked her up at four am.

#2. You cant be that because I said so ... (warning: insurgent homophobia)

This was the year gay marriage was passed. When my friend told me about it it was a slap in the face because I hadn't known being gay was even an option. I welcomed it with warm arms and I got to know a lot of my friends closer through it and I learned a ton from them and learned a lot about my parents' views (which aren't good). Now my ex-friend (let's just call her X) decided that she wanted to explore her sexuality more and identified, in this order, as: Lesbian, genderfluid, bisexual, lesbian, trans, gay, genderfluid, no longer trans, lesbian, pansexual, bisexual. 

All of this was fine with me, and though I thought it was odd she kept jumping labels so much and so rapidly I was still there for her because I knew sexuality is a hard thing to pin down. 

During this time, however, she did many things I will never tolerate:

X told one of my friends he could not be gay because she wanted to have sexual relations with him.

Said that a questioning genderfluid couldn't be genderfluid because he didn’t feel it the same way she does. (He figured out he just really loves drag and now identifies with his birth gender wholely as well as being bisexual)

X Said that a girl was ugly because she refused to send naked photos

Stated genderfluid people don't exist (only after she decided she wasn't)

Called the cops on my friends' mom saying she was a heroin addict.

X Told a teacher she would call the cops and tell them he asked for photos if he didn't put in the grade for an assignment she didn't do (I hated that teacher but this was days after X asked the girl for photos so I talked to the guidance counselor who got the cops involved and the teacher let them look into his messages and emails and they couldn't find a trace of interaction with her besides asking her to turn in a big assignment. I found out what happened a year later after the guidance counselor retired when she thanked me for stopping a potential problem and for never causing one. I thanked her for not involving me as a witness for the police.)

X said multiple times that she willingly had sex with an older male (which worried us to all hell and we told the new guidance counselor this many times. He was later fired without a public reason)

Then X decided that she would be the one to pick which sexuality suited me best.

I don't think there is anything wrong with helping someone find an identity that suits them but not when it's unwanted and isn't helping them work it out themselves by picking the actual label themselves. She was just labeling me as she thought I should be.

She decided that I am asexual. This was very offensive to me NOT because I think badly of ANY sexuality but because:

A: I am not asexual

B: I did not ask her for advice she just came up to me and said it.

C: Said she knew an asexual when she saw one.

D: Continued to tell people I was.

I now identify as Polyamorous Aromantic.

I also was told by a friend that X was telling people that I had sex with X and that she “helped me figure out I am asexual because I didn't like it”, I could never confirm this was spread by her, but Its highly possible as she had said something similar to me about another girl. (I am to this day a virgin btw)

She told multiple people they had been faking their sexualities to go with a new trend.

#3: The Biggest reason. (WARNING: Non-graphic self-harm main topic)

After all that happened in #2 I had stopped being friends with X but this is why I completely cut her out of my life before she got expelled.

During this time I had severe depression and my family couldn't afford to get me help. I had one friend that I was really close to and he had severe mental issues including depression, bipolar disorder and he also was being physically abused by his grandfather and was mentally abused by his mom which he hid from his dad who he only saw every other weekend.

Unfortunately, he was also a cutter. He has scars now on his arms and legs and he confessed to me that he had tried to kill himself on a few occasions. He was my closest friend and he is much better nowadays. This is the questioning genderfluid friend I talked about in #2 that X said was wrong. 

Honestly, I could have gotten over every other reason that I will not talk to her except this one.

Heres what happened.

She drew cut marks on her arms and legs and said: “Hey look I’m (Cutter Friend)!”

There is a big difference between kids being mean and people who you think are your friends calling you out.

After that happened most of my friends stopped talking to her completely and if she sat at our table we would leave.

She decided she should start to actually cut herself and blame us and say we told her to do so.

Then one day she tripped me in the hall. (To be honest, I don't know why she tripped me to this day) She started doing things like this all the time she told the counselor I was cutting myself and smoking cigarettes (which led to my stuff getting searched and her getting detention when they asked me why she would say that I had them).

When she relised she couldnt target me without getting in trouble she decided to start targeting my friend.

By this time he was doing so much better. His grandfaather had died, he told his dad about his mom, and he had mostly stopped cutting unless something triggered it.

Triggered like when someone asked about it. Or when someone called him a slur.

So X decided to go up to him, grab his wrists, push up his sleeves, rake her acrilic nails down his scars and ask “What are the best brand of razors to use? Mine never cut deep enough. Should we swallow some?”

He tried to kill himself when he got home. He had to be rescued by his dad and emts after he overdosed and tried to drown himself in his bathtub. He he kept his clothes on so his dad didn’t have to see him dead and naked. He was in the hospital for a week. That was when I started cutting. 

Its my worst memory.

She eventually was expelled after she threatened multiple teachers.

When we got to Highschool she got expelled after two months for drug use, dealing, bringing alcholol into the building and eventually threatening  a shooting.

She now is saying shes coming back to my school and I refuse to respond.

[dykedragons]

so today i just discovered the Diminish lets play and episode 11 made me cry lmfao

this is a criminally underrated series i can already tell. idk if its an ARG or not but either way the content is amazing and feels so authentic

rambling under the cut

anyways the bit on "cringe" and how will was bullied hit me. i cant remember much from my childhood but i do remember being bullied for liking dragons so much among other things. not super intensely, like i wasnt being shoved into lockers, but i was a sensitive kid and it cut kinda deep. i still have some sense of shame for my interests and it makes me really uncomfortable when people notice my affinity for dragons or my public art accounts. i know its not much of a big deal and people tend to notice the quality of the artwork rather than the content nowadays, which is really nice, but it still keeps me from freely sharing my artwork much with people i know irl. im starting to wonder if more things happened that hurt me that i dont remember tbh

like even one of my friends in high school took a long time to answer the question "would u still be friends with me if i was a furry" lmao. like it didnt hurt much at the time but its one of the few things i vividly remember from that grade so clearly it hurt. i dont remember her answer, just the long time she spent nervously thinking, and i can infer from there (i think her answer was a "probably not" so. makes sense that were not friends anymore lol)

idk if i consider myself a furry but i still emotionally distance myself from the fandom and its contents because of the shame. parts of the fandoms creations make me feel happy and childlike again but i dont really let myself fully fall into it because of how i think people would judge me. like even know im thinking if future me would be like "lol aylas getting sad because she doesnt have the nards to proclaim herself a furry and is acting all hashtag deep about it" like damn!! im allowed to have interests but i feel ashamed for having them. i think im entitled to be upset about that.

idk the silent judgement that i perceive really gets to me. even when my graphics teacher was like "haha you and your dragons :)" i was like wow i want to crawl into a hole and hide thanks for noticing <3 he wasnt even being judgemental he was just teasing, and i know how highly he thinks of my artwork, but that shit still affects me!! i still feel ashamed!! (not gonna stop me from making myself Monster Hunter merch for his class though)

its one of the reasons that im really thankful for my girlfriend. she (and also to her credit, her twin sister) are really supportive of my interests and will listen to my ramblings and draw with me and be genuinely happy about the stuff i make. like i literally made nick an assigned fursona™ and instead of just being like "lol thanks" she loves her and has drawn her and wants me to make a keychain design of her. her sister has commissioned me twice to make her ocs. nick has let me talk on and on about how my ocs have changed over the years and offered her own thoughts, critiques and compliments. she laughs at my closeted furry jokes lol. she supports me and just wants me to be happy. it means a lot to me considering the shame ive felt over the years for the things that make me happy and that i use to cope and escape from the world and explore aspects of myself.

tying back to Diminish, thats why that part of the episode hit me so hard. i can understand what will was feeling when he was a kid getting shamed for his lunch and having his comfort sonic plushes ripped apart. i get it dude. it sucks to feel like you have to hide parts of yourself that you hold so dearly just to avoid judgement, but its also a huge comfort to have people that want you to express yourself because they know it makes you happy, and that that makes them happy

[lawtoyatalks]

Wow, I know its been a while but, the blog is back! Let me tell you, being a law student is extremely time consuming. When I created this blog in 2015 I thought I would continue blogging throughout law school and beyond. I made it to the second semester of 1L year & all h**l broke loose! I knew it’d be hard to maintain a steady presence on the blog and be a good student, but clearly it was a bit harder than I anticipated. So, now that I’m LawToya J.D., I figured it was due time to start blogging again. I have so much to share about my law school experience and cant wait to post them on the blog. I’ll also be incorporating a few of my favorite things like beauty, travel, and food (I really love food.)

So, where have I been? Here’s a recap of the last 3 years!

1L Year

1L year was a whirlwind. Everything was new, everyone was new, and every where was new. I grew up in south Florida and went to the University of Central Florida for college. For law school I decided to switch up the scenery and move to Illinois. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “why in the world would you leave those warm sunny beaches?” I’m insane, that’s why. Adjusting to life in Illinois took up a huge chunk of time during 1L, but it also made it fun. Imagine a Florida girl learning how to shovel snow!

I joined the Black Law Students Association (BLSA) which was absolutely necessary (Look out for a blog post on BLSA). I also got involved with the Woman’s Law Society, took a seat on the faculty curriculum committee, and worked with the prisoners rights research group. Overall, I had an amazing 1L year.

1L Summer

Summers in law school are reserved for working and networking. I was incredibly fortunate and landed an in-house position at a fortune 500 company for my 1L summer. It. Was. Amazing. I worked and lived in Chicago, I got to party on the weekends and explore my neighborhood on weeknights. I fell in love with the city & knew I wanted to be back for 2L summer. I also networked my a** off, I met tons of lawyers from all different backgrounds. This networking proved to be invaluable during OCI. Oh, and speaking of OCI . . . it was . . . interesting. (I’ll have a separate post on how to survive). Fortunately though, I made it out of OCI with my sanity and an offer from my top firm!

2L Year

2L year worked me to death. It was the most difficult year of my academic career. I took 18 credits, competed on the trial team, and clerked part time at a local firm. I also decided to be an over achiever and join the BLSA & WLS executive boards. Although it was incredibly difficult, I got bomb grades and actually had a lot of fun. 2L was a busy blur but somehow I made it out alive!

2L Summer

Back in Chicago, this time at the firm of my dreams! I’d looked forward to this for 9 months! I was one of 6 summer associates at the firm. We spent 10 weeks working as “associates,” taking on assignments, attending court hearings, and shadowing depositions. Outside of work I was living my best life! Rooftop parties were a weekly occurrence and Sunday brunches with unlimited mimosas were an absolute must. The summer was incredibly challenging and the anxiety of post-grad offers plagued my thoughts daily. In the end, the stress and late nights at the office were worth it! On August 9th 2017, I signed an offer to return to the firm after graduation. Talk about a sigh of relief!!!

3L Year

Finally. The end was near. 3L year was the home stretch, but boy was it difficult. Fall semester I decided it was the perfect time to become a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated. This. Was. Difficult. But, I wouldn’t change it for the world! Then, spring semester decided to show me who’s boss. I was enrolled in 8 classes, some short sessions, some intersession, and some traditional doctrinal courses. I’m still not sure whether it was the overload of courses or the senioritis that made me feel like jumping off of a bridge. The semester proved to be my most challenging. Grades haven’t been released yet and honestly, I’m not checking them.

Overall my law school experience wasn’t a bad one. I truly enjoyed most (read: some) of the process and have many fond memories. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m SO glad its over! Now onto Bar prep…pray for me.

LawToya, J.D.

I know its been a while but, LawToya is blogging again! Read & Subscribe to my blog! Wow, I know its been a while but, the blog is back! Let me tell you, being a law student is extremely time consuming.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Television and White People problems I cant relate to

I might make people mad, but I am just gonna say it. A good half the time I cannot relate to the problems and motivations of white people on TV. But I am going to list some scenarios that I cannot relate to

1. Unaffectionate Parents/parents that arent around much/parents who are strict = bad parents who ruin thier children

Listen purposefully withholding affection from your child as a manipulation tactic does equal bad parent. Never allowing your child to make meaningful connections outside of the home as a way to control them = abusive parent. But like shows like Gilmore Girls have the main character and side characters acting as if she has been horribly scarred by thier parents not letting them listen to rock or run around and dirtying an expensive dress. Or they excuse or justify a characters bad behavior because thier parents aren't around (usually these are rich characters).

I am a working class Latina and I always felt this was total BS. My grandparents were not affectionate people. There were no hugs or I love yous after the age of 5. Both worked long days and I was constantly left in charge of my siblings. I wasnt allowed to wear makeup until after I was 15 (I didnt start wearing it until I was 18) and when I did my grandpa constantly made comments like "what do you have on you face?" "Only ugly women have to wear makeup!" "If God wanted your nails to change color every month he would have made it so they could without that junk (nail polish)!". I wasnt allowed to listen to rap music. If my grandma bought me an outfit I wasnt allowed to do anything to get it dirty

I wasnt allowed to stay the night at a friends house until I was in high school and even then my grandparents preferred people stayed the night at our house versus me going to someone elses.

Guess what...I am fine. I never was rebellious. I knew they loved me. I knew they cared. I wasnt a teen parent. I can tell people I love them. I am affectionate with people I am close to. I graduated college. I was a good, friendly, well adjusted kid. All of my Latina friends were too. But like every other white "bad kid" or "jerk" is that way because of thier parents supposed lack of interest.

Listen I get the validity of loneliness or even anger at feeling as if your parents are not interested in you. I am just saying it is something that is not in my experience, so I have a hard time relating to it even though it is a very common troupe.

2. Cutting out family members/estranged family.

Ok so my Latina self has never, ever understood this movie plotline. Like I have extended family who may not even be related to me that are big idiots, which everyone recognizes, but I still see them at all the family events because it is rude not to invite them when they are family. Like we do not stand physically abusive people in my family. But that is what you have to be in order to be cut off from us. Stupid? A Mooch? Toxic? Prejudiced? A very annoying drunk? All those things are okay warrant toleration because you are family. And again this is extended family. In movies or shows where the child has cut off the parents from thier life or that make snide remarks or talk back to them...OMG not only can I not relate but I cannot even process.

Again I am not saying that people should have to tolerate any behavior which causes them anxiety or makes them uncomfortable. But like the idea of ever cutting out my grandparents or even my mother completely out of my life is unimaginable. Right not agree with the things they do or say, and I may not make an effort to reach out to my mom, but I will never purposefully avoid or talk bad about them to any one. And believe me my mom is pretty toxic but I would never hinder her ability to reach me if she needs me. I will no longer go out of my way to please her, but moving away having children and not letting her be part of thier lives. Nope not doing it.

Most of my latino friends live in multi-generational homes (grandparent, great-parents, parents, self and thier children). So just the idea that your grandparents or parents live in a different home than you was hard enough to wrap my mind around while watching TV. The idea that you moved across the country to get away from your family unimaginable.

Again not condemning any one who does that just explaining why minded just cant relate.

3. 18=Adult and going crazy

I am 25 (I think, I forget) years old. I am a virgin, I didnt have a sip of alcohol until I was 23 or right when I turned 24 (again I forget). I've never had a boyfriend. I have only been on like 3 dates with 1 person. I still ask my grandparents permission to go places, I tell them my plans and who I am with. I do this unprompted. My grandparents dont demand that I do it. I just do.

Dont get the wrong idea, I have had lots of fun. I lived on the dorms as a college freshman, I made lots of friends and was in multiple clubs, played intramural sports, worked as an activities coordinator at the college and hung out with friends. I've gone to concerts, I've traveled to multiple countries and studied abroad. I vacation with friends.

Like I could never relate to teenagers or college kids on television as a teen and I still can't as an adult. Dont get me wrong freshman year of college I met the Wild kids all testing thier boundaries and exploring thier sexuality now that they were out of the house.

But that just wasnt me. I didnt feel the need to. I didnt want to drink (my house wasnt anti alcohol or anything like that). I didnt want to experience getting drunk or trying drugs. I didnt have the need or urge to do anything sexual with anyone. It wasnt because I was ashamed of my body, saving myself for marriage, or emotionally scarred by my grandparents about the subject. I just didnt want to. My grandma always tells people when they ask her how she raised me to be such a good kid (although thinking on it I should resent being called a kid at age 25) that my brother and just came out perfect or the closest thing to perfect. Like I am not saying that to claim that I am, but just to give y'all the idea of how non wild I am.

18 was a wierd age for me. I was exploring mostly myself as an individual seperate from my family. Figuring out what I liked because when you live with so many people you kind of blend interests. Sometimes I dont know if I actually like an activities that I frequently do or if I frequently do it because one of my siblings likes it.

Making friends outside of family. I always had friends growing up but my closest friends were my siblings and cousins. College was the beginning of meeting people from different backgrounds and becoming friends based on common interests rather than out of convenience. A great transition to my next unrelateable troupe.

3. Peer Pressure and letting bullies get away with it.

So like for the longest time, TV made it seem like it was hard to stand up to bullies, like it was Big deal and hard decision to stand up for someone else. Like to an extent some more recent shows still do it (Glee for one). And I just cant relate.

I never cared what other kids thought of me. I was always secure in who I was and happy with myself. While I wanted to please my family, i never felt pressured to please anyone else to to follow the mass consensus on what is cool or not. I also could never stand a bully.

In elementary school I flipped over my shared desk when my desk mate called the new girl (who was on medications that made her fall asleep during class a re***d) and told him that if him and the entire class that if they have a problem with her then they can fight me and I am obviously not kidding. (My very first outburst and threat of violence). In the 7th grade a couple of girls were harassing a girl in the bathroom for telling thier secrets. Even though it wasnt any of my business and these girls were known for actually fighting other girls, I still told them that they were being stupid and to leave her alone. Which earned me a shove against the wall and a "you want to fight me?". To which I stupidly responded "I am not afraid of you" which was a huge lie.

My childhood friends who werent related to me were usually the people who nobody wanted to be friends with. Mostly kids werent considered "able" or were too "annoying". I hated the idea of people being shunned because they werent "able" or because they didnt have a concept of volume control, personal space, or the ability to read a room) or because we were related. I straight up yelled at a guy in the middle school lunch room because he was saying that I was so nice for hanging out with the special kids especialky Bob (not his real name) because everyone hated him for not being able to shut up or go away. Bob has asperger's syndrome or was adhd I honestly dont remember. He had an assigned aid and would get too close to people and once he started talking he wouldnt stop so classes were hard for him and making friends was hard to.

In 9th grade band class I stood up and called out the drum section for laughing and calling the drum majors (a Male and a female) a f*g, ugly crack baby, and other slurs while they were conducting and then told the substitute that I refused to continue playing until they were sent to the principles and dealt with accordingly. I then walked out and put my instrument away very loudly in front of the band and pulled a chair up behind the drum majors so I could glare the entire class down while they played.

In 10th grade a made a huge scene when a guy thought he'd be cute by saying that the only reason my friends and i were doing well in Spanish class was because we were "sucking mr.------ balls". I stood up and shredded into him about how that accusation was basically calling mr.----- a pedophile and that it showed how much of a sexist pig he was that he has to basically accuse successful ladies of having to used sex to be successful because that is easier for his ego than admitting his laziness inattentiveness, and bad attitude are the reason he is failing a class about his first Language.

I also yelled at a girl in the middle of the school grounds for saying there should be a holocaust for gay people.

Apparently I am the queen of making a scene. I list these things not a bragging thing, but because they werent hard for me. Most of were just reactive. I never understood why TV made doing the right thing seem like it was so hard and that you were being a freaking martyr.

I was never bullied. I knew that kids didnt like me but no one every messed with me or harrassed me the way they did other people. Doing the right thing did not make my life harder. Standing up for people wasnt some herculean task that took like two days of thinking and emotional preparation. The "majority" of people allowing mean spirited people to harrassed others never swayed me to let it go. Indifference was never an option in my mind.

So I was always really frustrated by characters who didnt automatically help a person who was being harrased. It is my least favorite TV or movie plotline. And again I can't relate.

Again this isnt to bash on anyone or to suggest that making a scene or putting yourself at risk are the only ways of helping others and standing up for others.

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

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