#at least it's long i guess

[ettadunham]

hi! just yesterday i finally received the confirmation that i got my very first Real Full-Time Job (have been working and doing internships since i was a teen tho), so if you got any advice to survive in the capitalist hell, especially in the beginning, i'm all ears 😭

Anon, I now feel intense pressure to not lead you astray (is this what an older sibling might feel? I'm new to the experience 😂), so I'll start with a disclaimer, like any good little capitalist organization trying to deflect blame: none of what I'm saying might apply to your situation or be helpful in any way.

To be more specific, my advice should not be considered much at all if you're working at a state-funded job instead of a private one, and only maybe partially if you're working at a small business or the service industry. I've only ever been working at corporate jobs because I live alone with my cat and I need to pay rent somehow, so that's all I can speak for.

Okay? Okay. Let us proceed.

You can always just leave.

This truly is the number one rule in a neoliberal hypercapitalistic system. You are already regarded as a resource rather than a human being, so anyone telling you that you should have "company loyalty" or anything the like can shove it up their ass.

Of course, you do still need to consider your own situation. Even if you have enough support to get by for a few months, 9 out of 10 times I'd still advise actually getting a new job offer before handing in a resignation, because then you have more leverage and can be more picky about your new job.

However, I also did the thing that you're not supposed to do when I resigned from my first job personally, and I never really regretted it. It did force me to eventually apply for the same type of job that I didn't initially want to do, but it was a much nicer company and an enormous improvement on not just my mental but physical health (I was literally diagnosed with high blood pressure while working at my first job), so... yeah. If it sucks, hit da bricks, as long as there's a support system behind you.

2. Actually... you should consider quitting every 3 years.

In the corporate landscape, it's actually beneficial to switch jobs from time to time, because they will not raise your pay as much as its value goes up in the job market. This is a fact everyone is aware of, as well as how it actually costs more to hire and train new people every 2 years instead of just keeping the old ones, but alas, it's how shareholder capitalism works. All that matters is the next quarterly report.

That being said, not all of us like change, in fact, most people would prefer to have a stable job where they can just go, have a coffee with their old colleagues at the water cooler, do their shift and go home. Corporate propaganda will have you believe that workers just simply prefer to bounce from one place to another, but in reality, it's more of a necessity that comes from stagnating wages, changing expectations, and a general uncertainty about job security.

So... yeah, it's a bit more depressing when I put it that way, isn't it? But the point stands, especially if you feel like your job might not be secure, it's worth looking around. Maybe even look into adjacent positions where you can develop other skills if you really want to be the bestest boy (gender neutral) at capitalism.

You can of course also just move within the company you're working at if they have the flexibility. They love hiring from inside because then they can underpay you compared to new hires while keeping your knowledge in-house. But, I mean... you get new skills and don't have to change much about your environment? It's all about the symbiosis between worker and corporation where you're always the one getting leeched from anyway. <3

3. Drain them for all their worth.

Chances are, your corporate overlord might have some benefits for you. Make sure to look into it and use all of it. I know that for Americans healthcare is a big issue, so definitely look into what your corporate package offers on that, but also see if there's anything else. Can you go on business trips so you can travel more? Do they offer 20% off on gas? Reimburse you on certain purchases? Can you use your company's money to learn some programming to help you apply to your next job?

Have no shame about coming back with receipts every two weeks. If it's part of the package, it's part of the package. It's already in the company's budget anyway, they do not care.

4. Get along with people.

This is both more important and more complicated than it might look at first blush. Or maybe you're already seeing all the potential problems with this point.

Your workplace is much like high school where you're locked in and forced to interact with a bunch of strangers that you otherwise wouldn't choose to talk to. And you gotta do it every. single. day. Even just thinking about it exhausts my smol undiagnosed authistic heart.

But! I would venture to say that trying to get to know and get along with all those people is the most important thing you can do at your job. Sometimes even more so than actually doing your job, lol. Obviously, the most important part is your own team, but if you're at an office, talk to people at the coffee machine. Ask them about what they do, have small talks, etc. Make the effort to socialize a bit. Go to events if they're during work hours, and use your judgement if it's after work hours. Don't let yourself get sucked in into the whole 'we're a family' company culture and let it take over your life, but if it's something you'd enjoy (e.g.: we have a monthly board game club where I work currently), then it's a good way to build solidarity. And... *sigh* connections.

I did say it's like high school, didn't I? It's all about who you know baybey.

That being said... It's all easier said than done if you don't fit into the status quo and stick out in any way shape or form. Shocker, I know.

People also just have differing views, and you need to learn to deal with that somehow. Sometimes it turns out that whatever seemed like an end-of-the-world division on the internet is not all that important of a difference in reality. And sometimes it's much worse.

The thing you need to keep in mind here is that corporate culture generally loathes disruption, so you're not likely to encounter people saying slurs. Well, you're also not supposed to punch people for saying slurs though. It's all about the delicate balance of whatever is acceptable in polite society, and as long as that line's not crossed, you can either bite your tongue and sell a bit of your soul to the neoliberal gods for your survival, or push back mildly. You know. In a "polite" way uwu.

In any case, if you feel like the environment is too hostile, see point 1. Hit da bricks. Some workplaces are infected by assholery and mismanagement. Use your judgement, etc. If you're like me, living in a protofascist nation right now, you might just resign to the fact that more things are acceptable in polite society than you'd like, and you need to pay your bills instead of arguing with a middle manager about immigrants.

Okay, are we depressed enough about general corporate culture already? Cool. Let's see some actual useful tips then.

5. Talk to the people on your team and be a united front.

Does your company have a union? Then you should join that first thing, but as I've never really had that, I can't tell you much about that experience. What I do know, is that you should always form a united front with your immediate co-workers.

For instance, do you and your team members do the same thing? Then ask them about how much time they take to finish a task. If they say they take a day for something that in reality takes about 4 hours, then do the same. Don't be the asshole telling your boss that you finished it in 3 hours. And most importantly, never snitch on your teammates.

(Speaking of that example, you should also just overestimate how much time something would take. That's just good practice anyway. <3)

But yeah, the bottom line is that your teammates are your first line of defense against any kind of higher up shenanigans. Help each other out, discuss wages, stand your ground together. If you can build solidarity outside of your team, that's even better, but your teammates are the ones who can immediately step up for you if needed.

Obviously, realistically you can only give back as much as you receive. If your team doesn't feel the solidarity juice quite as much as you do, there's not much you can do about it other than give an opening and then adapt. At the end of the day, corporate culture incentivices individual achievement over collectivism despite all their empty slogans like "team work" or whatever.

Speaking of which...

6. Advocate for yourself.

So I am going to go completely against my previous point by saying that you need to speak up and advocate for yourself individually. If you want a raise, then call up your team lead, and tell them that you want a raise. Bring them the facts about your work, your achievements, if you have some of those juicy KPI numbers and they make you look good, then read them up, talk about how long you've been at the company, about inflation, the company's self-proclaimed growth... Give them an expectation even, and be prepared to talk in detail about how you are in fact the most bestest at your work actually, and politely imply that you might need to look elsewhere otherwise.

That being said... It's also just good practice to talk about your team's achievements as well. Last time I did this, I actually managed to get all of my team a small raise, even without trying all that much for a collective bargaining. In a healthy team environment, you should be able to talk up each of your team members in one way or another. You might be told that there's a limited amount of money going around for these raises, but it's not like you were ever gonna get more of it. Corporations will pay you as little as possible at every step of the way.

See point 1 and 2 again.

So, yeah. Make sure to advocate for yourself, especially if you've been at the company for a while (the time period here might vary, but bringing it up after a year is a good start if there's been no raises), or heard that you were getting less than your coworkers. Be your own hype man, while not talking down the rest of your team. Otherwise they might "forget" to pay you any of your deserved compensation.

This also goes in other aspects as well. If you're at a chill workplace, you can always bring it up to your boss if you hate your current work, and want to do something else. Employers are usually more accomodating for these types of complaints, and might even help you find other tasks or even a different position in the company, depending on the opportunities. (They might just try to give you more work at first though, lol, so be specific.) And if they're not chill... well, there's not much to lose, because you should already be thinking about point 1 again.

7. Work less, bullshit more.

This is it! This is the point that we are here for.

How to do as little work as humanly possible without getting at the top of the firing list. The true mysteries of the universe. We'll be combining some of what we learned in the previous points for this.

First things first, no, you should never bring your 100% for a bullshit corporate job. You might think that they'll appreciate it and you for it, but the truth is, whatever bonus or raise you might be getting is not gonna be all that much. And it's not going to worth all the effort you put into it.

Remember, corporations will always pay you as little as possible and toss you away at the first sign of inconvenience.

No, all that work is going to do to you is burn you out, and infringe upon your family or social life. If you're doing grunt work especially, then make sure to keep your boundaries. Keep a table about your work hours, even if it's not kept by your workplace, and make sure to keep it always at 8 or whatever your required hours are. Don't answer your email or phone outside of that window.

Even when it comes to your work hours, make sure to take breaks, take your time with your lunch. It's actually kinda unhealthy to work for 8 hours straight anyway, your brain is gonna be a mush by the end.

And also, as we talked about it, make sure to coordinate with your co-workers if they're doing the same or similar jobs. Find the optimal way to do your tasks in a way that's going to stay consistent with the expectations.

If you have a kind of job, where you have set goals, try to reach those, and if you have a bit of downtime, use it. You can ask for new tasks eventually, but don't rush it, if you have the opportunity, take a breather.

There are workplaces that might try to monitor your work, especially in home office, but as long as things are done, most workplaces do not care how much you napped during your work hours. However, if you're worried about seeming inactive on your laptop for instance, there are workarounds on that too. I have a powershell script that presses the capslock button every minute for 2 hours (for legal reasons, this is only for those times when I'm running a python script through a VPN connection, which standby mode would kill otherwise 😂), but I've had a friend who just opened word and put something on her space button. The human ingenuity when it comes to avoiding work is boundless.

The only consideration here is that you should still try to check your chat from time to time, but that can also depend on your workplace. Most people don't care if you reply them 2 hours late, no one's available 24/7.

That all being said, you might still want to secure your job a bit more other than doing the bare minimum, but the good news is, having all that downtime actually means that you can think about other things too if you choose! Maybe even ways to improve your job as it is. Or maybe just talk with someone at the water cooler. Never underestimate the power of talking to people at the water cooler tbh.

Also consider this: if you're doing your job too well, your reward most likely is going to be.... more work! And it's gonna be unpaid work at that. I know, because I somehow never managed to avoid this one, despite doing my best and napping as much as possible.

In conclusion, Bullshit Jobs™ deserve Bullshit Work. <3

[cowardlykrow]

Stop light shenanigans

Extra:

[uncanny-tranny]

It's honestly frustrating that I've seen non-Russian queer people almost bragging about how they would be illegal in Russia, labeled an extremist or terrorist. Russian queers are in danger, their government has made it clear where it stands, and it's made this effort for the better part of a decade (even longer, perhaps). This will kill people, don't mistake this for a quirky little proclamation from a government, akin to somebody saying the sky is pink. Russian queer people were already expressing their fear, and the least we can do now is express our love for them, and advocate with them.

Russian queer people, I love you. I love you all so much. I am so sorry, I cannot begin to express the grief that I feel, and I hope that you are safe. Words cannot encapsulate how I feel as a non-Russian, and I cannot hope to comprehend how it feels to actually be in this situation.

[muzzleroars]

who would you rather meet in hell: the devil himself or two bugs

[thesorrowoflizards]

↳ You never know when the good you do may come back around.

[wrightfamily]

happy aai2 LOCALIZATION ANNOUNCEMENT. i will add image ids later but i wanted to get these out!!!

!!!!!!AAI2 SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!!!!

[skimmeh]

Silly goofy

[cozymochi]

Jamtia or tiabek make ur choice now

Aight I don’t normally DO the ship thing 😩 Why you little— BUT, OKAY how about remember SR Sebek Zigvolt Ceremonial Robes vignette Part 1 WITH THE—-

this is a real moment that actually happened and if I could pay tribute to one thing—

[ropes3amthoughts]

I know people are just joking when they say stuff like “Mithrun is an old grandpa he doesn’t know he can’t say those words anymore he doesn’t know they don’t have any book tokens anymore” because of these extras below:

and whatever but like it honestly drives me kind of crazy. Like can we look at this for a second.

He was the lord of the dungeon for five years. Then he was being rehabilitated for TWENTY YEARS. That’s not super long for elves, that’s like four years for us, but that’s still a long time. And then he was the captain for another fourteen years, but he didn’t have any desire other than getting revenge on the demon.

Mithrun hasn’t really been properly socialized for a total of FORTY YEARS, which is like eight years for elves. He was totally shut off from the world, then he was rehabilitated, and then he was with the Canaries on a onetrack mindset to go after the demon. Mithrun was doing bad, he was recovering, and then he was better enough to be the captain of the Canaries again, but he was still not “better.” In all that time, the world didn’t wait for him when he was at his low point. It didn’t wait for him when he was spending all that time recovering. And by the time it’s near the end of the story where these comics take place he’s just been so far detached from the world. Like he’s most likely never tried to go buy a book token after becoming a dungeon lord. He’s most likely never talked to people and learned the new slang of the time, he’s never been caught up which words are good versus outdated. Mithrun is technically better enough to be captain, he’s better enough to have reintegrated into society, but he’s not quite adjusted yet. He’s been out for so many years suffering under the hands of the demon and scraping his way through recovery and trying to work to get to the demon that by the time he’s stopped and done stuff like gift exchanges or whatever many aspects of the world are vastly different from what he remembers. I think that’s a lot like a lot of people in real life too who have similar experiences. People in mental health centers or hospitals who spends even just months recovering can miss out on so much.

Does this make any sense? It’s kind of late so I don’t really know what I’m saying and I’m probably repeating myself but like Mithrun was at a low point and then he was recovering for so long!!!! And then when he’s reintegrated back into the world it’s changed without him!!!! He’s not some racist old man!!! The world just kept on turning when he was struggling and how is he even supposed to deal with that? Like he doesn’t have much desire but everybody is so upset with him for not knowing things like outdated terms or using cash because he didn’t know there were no more book tokens and he just can’t have known that because he literally wasn’t in a state to keep up with all of the stuff like that and now everything is different and maybe he doesn’t care because he has no desire to but like aghhhhhhhhhhhh sob sob sniffle oughhhhh 😭😭😭😭 Mithrun 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 imagine I’m shaking him back and forth that’s how I feel right now oughhhhh

[stewyhosseini-bf]

they are literally brothers that's his little brother man!!!!!! you don't get it!!!!!!

[mugwot]

sometimes you sound bit too mean, it happens

it was Supposed to be in colour, and them the bw version Just Looked better

this is mostly based on this meme

[travellingtribble]

I'm in my feels thinking about how fucked up the TOS crew ended like

Kirk got stuck in the nexus from ~2293 to 2371 only to die again, for good, as soon as he got out? Come on. come on man.

Bones got old. like really old. and didn't get to see Kirk again??? It's been a while since I watched the TNG episode with McCoy, I don't remember what he says, but he was like 150 years old. Did he ever even see Kirk before he got stuck in the Nexus. Did he ever see Spock? (I'd hope so, Spock disappears years later, in Picard if I'm correct?)

Spock was... around doing Spock stuff. And then Kirk died and did Spock even know? did someone tell Spock that his literal soulmate died. twice. and then Spock got stuck in another universe, a reality slightly different from his own, where everyone is younger than him and Jim is not really Jim and he has his own Spock anyway and his planet is gone and he lived the rest of his days in the Kelvin timeline, alone.

And Scotty got stuck in a transporter buffer for 75 years. That's so long. They had to tell him Kirk was gone? (although, they were together when that happened, weren't they? they were on the Enterprise-B, technically Scotty knew that Kirk was "dead" didn't he? I guess spending 75 years stuck in a buffer mode will screw up your memory though.) Did he see Spock again? Did he see Bones again before either of them died?

Basically the only ones we didn't see explicitly (or implicitly) die or disappear of the OG crew are Uhura, Chekov and Sulu. Where were they? what were they doing? did they know about Kirk? about Scotty? about Spock?

Sorry but like. that is so fucked up. why does nobody talk about this!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[yesdramas]

LOVELY RUNNER 선재 업고 튀어 — 2024, dir. Boo Sung Chul, Yoon Jong Ho, Kim Tae Yeong   

[ganondoodle]

link gets his arm "irreversibly" damaged

"omg!! does he get a cool prosthetic?? like the weird tentacle like morphing arm in the botw concepts?? shiekah tech arm????? that would be so awesom-"

its just. arm but grey. occasionally green. some jewelry.

"well, does he at least lose it or have some scarring at some point or at the end-"

deus ex machina. arm normal again.

>:C

[myfairstarlight]

An Ode to Friends to Lovers - Colin and Penelope's story

Fine, I give in.

As someone who considers themself more of a casual viewer (as in, I've never engaged in the fandom before), I went into this new season with mild interest. And then I fell down the rabbit hole. I should have suspected it though, Friends to Lovers is a trope I affectionate particularly when it comes to romance, unfortunately one I very rarely think is done well. So I was still skeptical going in.

But by God, did they deliver on that front and I need to break it down and talk about it. So I guess this is my review of Bridgerton s3, part 1.

Under the cut though, because this is gonna be a long one (seriously, this is a warning).

I don't particularly think Bridgerton is a complex show, and one can argue all day about whether it is even good (in my eyes, as long as it's entertaining, I don't care if a show is "good"), however, the number of takes I've seen online not understanding basic story-telling worries me a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I agree this first half has pacing issues but I do not think Penelope's and Colin's love story suffered that much, it did not feel rushed to me since we already knew these characters for two whole seasons (and I maintain Colin has always had more depths than what people pretend he does, it seems like, just like the ton, viewers like to overlook him and just characterise him as naive).

And I guess this long ass post was born in the process. So:

Part One: Penelope's glow up

Yes I'm starting by looking at them individually first. I think this post on reddit sums it up so perfectly. I get we're all joking about how unrealistic it is that no man was ever interested in Penelope despite how she looks like an absolute goddess (and I maintain she was the cutest in both previous seasons as well!) - unfortunately it is realistic. That's the reality of bullying, it doesn't get solved by a glow up. Even her association with the Bridgertons through Eloise and Colin did not lessen the bullying, so without them? Even the prettiest dresses would not have changed the ton's perception of her, and she's still the awkward, anxious girl she's always been, and unfortunately, most of these men are not attracted to that. It's not satisfying, she doesn't get her triumphant revenge on a society that always ostracised her - and I think it's important that she does not. That she accepts it. She should not have to change for a ton that will not change for the better either. And it's a lesson she learns quickly - someone will love her for who she is, pretending will only lead to misery. And, it is when she's being herself that she successfully gets the interest of some gentlemen (shout out to Lord Remington! I was so hoping we would be seeing more of him on top of Debling. He's such a Whistledown fan I thought that even after the whole lesson reveal scandal he would have stuck to call on Penelope the next day to gossip together, it would have been cute but I guess he too wanted to avoid being written about) (also I'm just saying in fics he should be the one considered as a proper other suitor for Pen since they seemed to have a genuine connection, meanwhile Debling was really searching for practicality).

The thing I wanna add to that post is this: despite all that, she decided to change her looks for herself. When I first learned of the plot of this season, Colin helping her find a husband, I was scared it would mean Colin would be the one to tell her to have a makeover. It doesn't happen. Sure, Penelope subconsciously requests for a more Parisian style for her new dresses because it is the last place Colin went to, but by that point she has already given up on him. She wants something new, and to feel good in herself. That's how she blooms, by finding a style that she feels comfortable in, finally free from her mother's horrendous tastes. That's what allows her to be more confident as well, the new looks and her motivation to move on from her "unrequited fantasy". As for Colin? He never comments on her change, he compliments her dress (and mind you, that is when he's trying to play up the charm because he knows she's upset with him and he gets humbled, hard) but he never says it looks better on her than what she wore before, he never has a "I never realised how beautiful you were" moment we see a bit too often in friends to lovers stories, because to him she's still his Pen, new dresses, new hairstyles, but the same Pen he's always loved, even if he didn't realise to what extent yet.

But Penelope's confidence... is not quite there yet. Difficult to be, when she's grown up in a loveless home, with horrible sisters, a father who barely cared and a mother who constantly puts her down. Whenever she gets a compliment, her first reaction is "ah, it must be a joke" - that isn't even exclusive to Colin, in the brief interaction between Edwina and Penelope, when Edwina compliments her dress, Penelope also dismisses it. And then, there's Colin, who is always oh so honest with her and does not shy away from praising her. But I'll touch more on that later.

Part Two: Colin's new self.

And then we have the opposite: Colin showing up with a new attitude, and succeeding at it (well, on the surface). Something I haven't seen people bring up a lot though is that he's already tried a new look in s2, and he got mocked for it. The only one who didn't? Penelope. Why didn't he try to emulate being a rake back then? Because Penelope's letters grounded him, he admits it himself. It's seeing himself through Penelope's letters that gave him confidence. But that kind of confidence was not enough in the ton's eyes, and on top of that, between s2 and s3, this time Penelope doesn't write back, and neither do his family. He grows insecure, he's lost the one person who kept him grounded, he thinks his family is annoyed with him, and he still is in search of a purpose, so what does he do? He clings to Anthony's words in s1 after the disaster that was his engagement with Marina: he's too green, time to "fix" that and be more like his big brothers. They got it together, they know their purpose (well, Benedict lost his again but that's a story for another day), so surely, if he acts more like them, and not like the sensitive and naive boy he was, then surely everything will be alright! Right? Note that as opposed to s2, where he kept talking about his travels and it annoyed everyone, in s3 he doesn't go into details about them anymore, even when he's asked. They're only interested in the company he kept during the travels rather than the sights he saw. And honestly, it was heartbreaking to see right away how much of himself he was holding back, even with his own family. Penelope, however, gets the details without even asking because he already knows she likes hearing him talk about them and she makes him comfortable, and he's fully aware of that when he apologises in s3e1.

(I also want to note that, even if this new persona is fake, his new style genuinely fits him better. Just like Penelope, this season Colin found the style that makes him feel good and confident.)

And here's where I need to praise Luke's acting for a bit, because he absolutely nailed the subtle way Colin behaves differently with Penelope vs everyone else. His voice is softer, he is effortlessly charming (I was kicking my feet when he recalled how they met), his smile is bigger, even his whole face looks more relaxed whenever Penelope is around, meanwhile he always appears stiff and like he's calculating his every move when around his "friends". In fact, it is in the carriage scene we finally truly see s1&2's Colin back. When he has that look on his face, as he decides right there and then he's gonna marry her, and then a second later when he asks the question, his face. By God, his eyes are sparkling, he's so happy, and he looks as youthful and carefree as he did in previous seasons, far are the thoughts of trying to fit in a society that he hates.

Because above all, these two know and understand each other in a way no one else in their lives does. And that is a fact that remains despite the outward changes. So yes, I liked that their dynamic did not shift to romance because of their "glow ups", but because they are spending even more time together now. Speaking of which:

Part Three: Authenticity and Vulnerability

One big theme this season is being true to oneself. It's no coincidence mirrors are such a big part of it (even outside of the yet to be seen spicy scene), because looking at a mirror means looking at oneself, and be vulnerable. If s2 was about duty vs heart, eldest siblings trying to do right by their family to the point of self-sabotage, s3 is a battle between the head and the heart. It is not even exclusive to Polin - Eloise is learning and growing by trying to take genuine part in society but struggling to fit in. Cressida wants to become a better person, torn between the pressure put on her shoulders by her parents and this new friendship with Eloise. Benedict is looking for his purpose after learning Anthony paid his way to art school, and feeling like a fraud as an artist. Anthony and Kate are unashamedly in love, as they deserve to be after the struggles they went through last season. Francesca has no care for the suitors the Queen and her mother parade in front of her as the "sparkler" of the season (sidenote but I hated that, stupid name, should have stuck to diamond or select another gem) as her heart seeks out the handsome and quiet John Sterling instead. And this will continue in part 2, as Penelope will have to be honest about Lady Whistledown (because she's always her most authentic self around Colin, there is still this big secret she is so determined to keep to herself, when she should not).

The beauty about friends to lovers stories to me is the small declarations of love sprinkled throughout the relationship. It's about the trust already built in with no expectations and the vulnerability we'd never allow anyone but our closest friends to see, something even our family can be ignorant to. I mentioned earlier that Colin never shies away from praising Penelope, way before their dynamic shifts to lovers. He tells her she's good, constant, loyal, special, warm. All of these are declarations of love, even if not with romantic intent, it's about showing his appreciation for her, for the role she holds in his life. And Penelope responds in kind as well. That is why I believe people who think the romance was rushed in s3 either did not watch the past two seasons or see friendship and romantic love as two distinct things rather than a cohesive continuation of each other. In s1, people focus so much on the Marina stuff, as if that cancels out Colin's friendship with Penelope. We still do see Colin actively seek out Penelope at balls, and defending her against Cressida, he compliments her and tells her she's the one who inspired him to travel. Then s2 rolls in, and they're exchanging letters, which will become the cataclysm for their dynamic changing later on. And then there's one of my favourite scenes with them: them talking about their purpose. They both open up here, Colin about his insecurity, Penelope about her dream, it is so intimate. And then, there's of course Colin protecting the Featheringtons from ruins. I'm mostly emphasising Colin's actions, because Penelope's crush on him was always in your face, and while Colin may not have realised it yet, he's always cared about Penelope in a special way, as manifested by his actions and how vulnerable he allows himself to be around her, when even his own family has no idea about what's going on inside his head.

There's a misconception that Colin calling her his friend was him rejecting her, and yet we see in s3 he had no idea whatsoever that she has a crush on him, so he could not lead her on (unlike his book counterpart, who was aware of Penelope's infatuation and was careful never to toe the line until he realised his feelings. Show Colin though? Completely oblivious. And it makes sense, he's still young.) He asks Violet "how do you know it was reciprocated" and not "how do you know you're in love with your best friend". As of right now at the end of part 1, he genuinely thinks he's the one who fell in love first, or at least realised it first. His "You're Pen, you do not count, you're my friend" in s2, was not a rejection in his eyes, but a declaration of love; he's forsaken love and women but not his Penelope, never her, she's his exception And it's not like Penelope resented him for that friendship he so readily gave her, yes she had a crush, but she was proud to call him her friend! He was, with Eloise, her solace away from her family. At the end of the day, this is a friends to lovers story, it is silly to get upset that they considered themselves friends first before there is a click as they realise they are now on the same page to shift their relationship.

Side note but I've never liked the term "friendzoned" because it makes it sound like being friends is a bad thing. I've had unrequited feelings before but I've always felt grateful that being friends with them allowed me to stay close to them even if I knew nothing else could happen. I was still very much happy and content. But maybe I'm projecting on Penelope and that's another debate.

See, what I ended up loving about the lesson plot, which I was so wary of at first, is that Colin barely teaches Penelope anything. At first, he goes for the "do what society expects women to do" (since it worked for him) but then she acts awkwardly, she can't fake it, and it surprises him for a moment. That's when it clicks for him, she just needs to be comfortable because with him, she's always smart, witty and charming, she's herself. He's always seen her that way, and he did not quite realise he had that privilege in the first place. And I love how we see him slowly realise it is no longer a privilege thanks to his help. We see it in e2. When she talks to the guy with the dead horse (forgot his name, oops), Penelope forces the flirt and Colin is amused by it. Fast forward Penelope approaching Lord Remington by herself, without Colin's initiative, and she's being more authentic, and suddenly Jealous by Nick Jonas plays in the background and Colin doesn't look proud, but apprehensive, or dare I say jealous. The shift in Colin's head happens long before Debling is in the picture. I'd argue it already shifted earlier in that episode, in his study, which he flashbacks to in e4.

His journals detail how unfulfilled he feels when he lays with random women in his travels. He longs for emotional intimacy. And guess with who he finally finds that, when a certain red-head asks the one question that allows them to break the physical barrier they had to keep between them for the sake of propriety?

Ah yes, that first kiss. To Colin, everything has been building up to this, this is his true Oh moment. A favour turned into a revelation. For Penelope, this is quite literally the end of her fantasies. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment. She bares her heart, she's sad, she's desperate. And some people have been calling that moment pathetic, interpreting it as her being weak and giving in to her crush again, saying that she should not have to beg for that man's affection. I concur that she is brave, and bold. I also concur that some of you all are a bit too attached to the girlboss archetype forgetting that allowing oneself to be vulnerable is also a strength. She's never had to beg for Colin's attention anyway because he readily gives it to her, but in this one instance, for once in her life, she is truly being honest. In her head, she has nothing else to lose, and she wants to experience the one thing she thinks she can never have so of course she's gonna turn to the one person she's always trusted and feels the most comfortable with, because before her crush, Colin is her friend. She's asking a favour from a friend. And then she can move on, whatever "moving on" will turn out to be. In this instance, she has the power in her hands.

And it is her bravery that is the true cataclysm for things to change properly. Of course, things have already started to change the moment she stopped replying to the letters, but that moment really expedited their relationship.

Part Four: Lovers, but in a best friends way

The thing with Bridgerton, in the books or in the show, is that each couple has their trope. This is not news to anyone, I think. We've had fake dating, and enemies to lovers, and one characteristic that these two tropes share is a growing tension between the characters before it snaps. There is a reason the early marketing for s3 focused on Penelope being cold towards Colin, tension and conflict are more appealing on the surface. And then the first half of the season comes out and that conflict between our main couple? Solved after one episode because they did one thing that is severely missing in most romance dramas: communicated healthily. Penelope laid out why she was upset (although she does not stay to let Colin explain and then vents out her feelings in Whistledown... she still has some learning to do), Colin immediately went to apologise and make up for it. All of this by talking. And yet I'd argue friends to lovers still has its own tension, just not to the same intensity as the other two, and more difficult to market. The tension comes from the brewing feelings, the way you start seeing every touch, every interaction, in a whole new light, and wondering if it's only in your head or if it's reciprocated. But now combine that with Colin who's always been so earnest about his feelings with Penelope? And Penelope who's always quietly wanted their relationship to evolve that way? Of course they figured it out quickly and got together in half a season. And I'm delighted that we will see them handle the whole Whistledown mess as a couple, as two people aware they love each other deeply, which gives a whole new meaning to the conflict compared to the book where I felt like it was brushed over a bit too quickly (because they got distracted in that carriage). It is the last secret between them, their last obstacle.

I also do not like the "Colin should have grovelled and pined more" argument, when he is the one who insisted on the lessons to help her find a husband in the first place, and then has to face the fact that actually, he doesn't like the idea of another man taking Penelope away, and oh, isn't that the consequences of his own actions? He is grovelling, you just don't see Penelope holding it over his head, because that's not the person she is, this is not a revenge fantasy story, in fact she does not realise the power she has on him because she is used to Colin seeking her out. I like that he didn't stew on his feelings and decided to act on them right away. I also don't like how this whole grovelling thing makes it sound like love is a competition, that just because Penelope has known she's been in love for longer and "suffered" longer, that means Colin needs to do the same to even the planes. Because in my eyes love isn't exactly something to be earned — it is given. Now, are you worthy to keep it? To nurture it and make it bloom and last? That is the real question.

Admittedly, since this is only the first half of the season, we do not see them in a romantic setting a lot. That first half is focused on them rekindling their friendship lost during the summer when Penelope stopped responding to the letters, and Colin having the realisation he cannot live without his best friend, not just because she is his best friend, but also because he loves her. But we do have two important, and obvious instances.

So let's talk about that first kiss again. It is, in my opinion, one of the most gentle and romantic moments in the show so far and also showcased their friendship really well. Colin trying to joke to lighten the mood as Penelope spirals down (peak best friend behaviour actually), the gentle, swelling music, the light of the moon, Colin's deep exhale of realisation as he holds her face when he goes back in for the second kiss, with the furrowed brows of a man on a mission. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment and Colin's big realisation. And I felt like I was intruding.

And same goes for that carriage scene, but even before they go at it; now this is Colin's most vulnerable moment, and Penelope's realisation that they can be more. He chases the carriage by foot, then goes on his knees to confess his feelings to his best friend in the softest and most determined voice we've ever heard him use this whole season, eyes wide, tears threatening to fall as it is his turn to bare his heart and ask for a chance. Meanwhile Penelope takes it all in, running her hand through his hair because she can finally touch him, melting under him. Things get steamy. And then... and then... The carriage stops, they get startled, Colin jokes that the driver should have kept on driving and then... they laugh. They just made out, and went to second base together, and yet here they are now, laughing. It is such a genuine and lovely moment. And it's then that Colin has that look in his eyes, that "I'm gonna marry her" look. That is when he realises he cannot live his life without her. That his purpose is now right in front of him: making Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, laugh until the end of their lives.

Conclusion

There's no conclusion, I just love them so dearly. Yes, there still is the whole Whistledown mess to deal with and sure, the argument with Eloise may make you think great angst is ahead but if there is one big difference between Colin and Eloise, it is this: Colin has always listened to Penelope, and this is not a diss on Eloise. Eloise, bless her heart, can be pretty self-centred, she's loud and a bit immature, something she is growing from in s3, and you cannot ignore that she did not really listen to Penelope (she has no idea Penelope wishes to marry when Penelope tells her she does in s1, we can blame the writing, but I do think it fits with Eloise's journey to realising how privileged and dismissive she is. Penelope was too polite to call her out until their falling out. Meanwhile Cressida is exactly the type of honesty she needs for a wake up call). Colin, on the other hand, is very sensitive and a good listener. Furthermore, this season, Penelope is learning to be more confident, to voice what she wants, and I like to think it is leading to her finding her own voice and not needing Whistledown to hide behind anymore. If there's someone with whom she has no filters, it is Colin, so I have faith that when the reveal happens and an argument breaks out, this new Penelope will not back down and will lay out all her reasons and all her regrets, and Colin may be stubborn, but he loves that woman and he always listens.

A part of me also wishes they keep the jealousy he felt about her writing in the book, and that they don't focus just on the whole "you lied to me" aspect (we've already had that with Eloise). How he, himself, is insecure about his writing, and here Penelope is, less fortunate than he is, and yet who did have the courage to get her writing out there, even if publishing under another name. Because that is also a reality in relationships, when your partner is at a different stage in their career, and how they can communicate to support one another.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now (as if that isn't what I've been doing this whole time). I like them. A little. Just a bit. I'm very normal about them <3