#at this point i’d rather draw something new with the two of them

[tumbly-s]

Vi vs Jinx

[please check out my commissions info!]

[itsabouttimex2]

I almost thought the Celestalchaos bot was platonical I'm so sorry I just got curious how that family would be with the user/reader 😅

(I actually made a Celestialchaos Dads bot!!)

Surrogate Son

“It’s good to have you here with me,” Xiangliu starts, tracing a scaled hand slowly down your cheek before withdrawing it. He rolls over to face Sun Wukong, then cups his face as your had been. Xiangliu’s snakes gently nuzzle your face in turn, their forked tongues licking at your skin. “And you,” the Nine-Headed Demon shakily breathes, his hands moving to roam up and down Wukong’s abdomen, only to be caught by the ginger simian when they drift too low. “My Saint of Chaos,” Xiangliu adulates, kissing at Wukong’s cheeks.

“Love you too, babe,” the Great Sage returns, stretching out slowly. The two spend a moment just gazing back and forth, a locked gaze of gold and orange.

As they spend that precious moment in adoration, you check your phone to see if there’s any new texts… and you find one, from MK.

“Is that- is that the kid?” Wukong asks, rolling over Xiangliu to flip beside you- for his part, the snake demon is unbothered by the sudden squashing, and only leans in to listen close. “Does he need something?”

Lifting the phone again, you read the text-

’Can I come over for my break?? Pigsy says I’m too tired to do any more deliveries today.’

“Looks like the kid wants permission to come over… but I’m guessing he’s already on his way, honestly.”

The boy could be impulsive to a fault, as you had learned well from your first interaction with him- still, he had become a very dear part of your life.

“That sounds like the boy,” Xiangliu agrees, giving a soft smile. He looks over at the simian, who simply groans in response, sitting up slowly.

“Should’ve told me he was coming over,” the Great Sage huffs, moving to swing his legs off the bed. “I’d have ordered us all something,” he starts, shifting nearly off the mattress- only to be immediately pulled back down by Xiangliu wrapping his arms around the ginger monkey’s hips and holding him close.

Ignoring the serpentine demon’s clinginess, you ask: “Oh? But I thought you didn’t like cooked food, hun- wouldn’t you rather forage?”

“I don’t like most cooked foods,” Wukong corrects, with Xiangliu nodding in agreement. The nine-headed demon moves a hand to run through the Great Sage’s messy ginger hair, still holding his waist with the other-

“Except for noodles,” the snake demon interjects, pressing his forehead into Wukong’s shoulder and nuzzling against the bare skin.

“Oh, that’s right! You order them from MK’s boss, right? Jajangmyeon, with extra pork and no zucchini?”

“Just the way I like ‘em,” Wukong grins, tilting his head up into Xiangliu’s motions. The snake demon begins to press small kisses into the monkey’s exposed neck as well, gently drawing along the sensitive skin with his fangs- but the Great Sage doesn’t seem much bothered by the biting, or if he is, he’s good at concealing it.

“Hate to be a joykill, boys… but you’ll have to knock it off when the kiddo gets here.”

Xiangliu gives a quiet grumble at your statement- he knew you had a point, but he didn’t want to fully quit. His forked tongue gives one last long lick up Wukong’s neck before withdrawing back into his mouth.

“Yeah, you’re right,” the ginger simian agrees, tilting his head back onto Xiangliu’s shoulder.“Can’t be snogging when my bud is here.”

My. You don’t exactly miss the use of that word- and really, you haven’t missed the impact that MK has had on the wilder of your lovers- how Wukong has grown; healed, in leaps and bounds thanks to his…

Student. Nephew. Son. Little brother.

So, so many roles.

MK fills them all admirably.

Even though you know the kid is only a few minutes away by now, you send back to him:

‘You’re always welcome here, kiddo.’

After everything he’s done for your partner, you find it hard to argue that he shouldn’t have a place here in this cozy little cabin, on the lavish peaks of Flower Fruit Mountain.

He’s your kid too, after all. As much as he is Pigsy’s, or Tang’s, or Wukong’s…

He’s your kiddo, too.

There’s a beat of silence- and then the tell-tale sound of footsteps approaching the door. Even with the knowledge that MK was on his way up, the sound still makes Wukong jump a bit- he and Xiangliu both share a look, like two kids who were just caught in the middle of doing something they weren’t supposed to.

And then, the boy lets himself in- and practically collapses onto the floor, utterly exhausted and panting for breath. His hair and clothes are messy and disheveled, with the his usual upbeat mood entirely missing.

“You two get dressed,” you sigh, standing up from the bed and throwing the sheets over their half-dressed forms. “I’ll take care of our kid.”

“Our,” Xiangliu whispers, all eighteen of his leering yellow eyes glittering at the thought. “Our child.”

“Not all ours, Nine. We’ve got like… three other dads to compete with.”

"I'd say we’re his favorites," Xiangliu tries to counter, a sly grin creeping upon his serpentine features. Wukong gives a scoff at that, scoffing at that notion in time with you.

“No, it’s Pigsy,” you both say.

Xiangliu has no further argument, and instead whips out an elegant robe of green and orange.

As they dress, you kneel to the exhausted hero, offering him a warm smile. With gentle scooping motion, you lead MK to his feet, biting back a gag at the overwhelming smell of sweat.

“Oh, sweetie. Who were you fighting this time?”

MK shakes his head, suddenly moving to latch onto your waist with a hiccup. There’s a shuddering tremble that races from his chest to feet, making the hero look almost like a child ready to bawl in fear.

Nightmares, again. He’s been having them for a while.

Ever since the Lady Bone Demon, in fact.

“Oh, no, baby… don’t cry, it’s okay…”

As you begin to rub his back with a soft coo, your newly-dressed partners look at you with both admiration and love, tempted to join in the doting… but they kept their distance, instead.

“I’ll go start him a shower,” Wukong whispers, heading to the bathroom, but not before Xiangliu presses a long series of slow kisses to his cheeks.

“I’ll go see what we have in the kitchen, then… and maybe find him a change of clothes.”

With once last glance to your doting form, both depart to focus on their own tasks, giving you a perfect moment to forget the rest of the world and simply comfort your child.

“Nothing is gonna hurt you,” is your promise to him.

You don’t intend to break it.

[todayispeia]

✩°｡‘ A POE CUP TO REMEMBER

xavier thorpe x fem!reader

words: 3k

genre: smut, slowburn romance (kinda), flirting, teasing, fingering

a/n: im not great at creating a fanfic, so expect grammatical errors and typo’s ahead !! i hope you enjoy this ♡

you were the new student at nevermore. you were assigned to be roommate with the girl named enid. she was practically a werefolf and a all-rounder gossip girl at the school. she tour you to the hallway where all the students gather there, there was a werewolves, sirens, and many more. “oh, and that girl bianca, he dated our tortured artist, xavier thorpe” she said, pointing the guy who was painting at the wall. he looked at you and not a minute he continues to focus at his drawing.

after the tour, you relaxed a while at your dorm. it was raining outside, “enid, i’m just gonna go downstairs, just catching some raindrops” you said. enid just nodded and continue to dance all by herself. while walking outside, you saw the statue falling above you, but someone pushes you away from it. causing yourself to be unconscious.

after the incident where the statue almost hit you on the head, luckily a student saved your life.

you wake up at the room, seeing a guy beside you, he was already standing, perhaps waiting for you to open your eyes. you immediately get up causing him to sit quickly. “nurse said you dont have a concussion, anyway, im glad you’re awake” he muttered. ”its because im not, and will never be. and the last thing i remember is i was walking alone 'til i saw a statue falling to me.” you said while looking at him. “and, how did you even get there that fast? i believe there was no one when i walked there, i was alone” you added, it was a mixture of confusion and embarrassment. he clicks his tongue before replying to your statement, “call it instinct” he said. “instinct, huh? well, dont expect me to gave you a gratitude or something. its quite unreal to myself giving someone like that” you said while fixing your posture to face him. “mm-hmm. you know, most people just say thank you” he said, looking at you. “i didn't even requested to be rescued that time” — “and you thought i should have just let that thing smash you to mush?” he replied. “i mean, i could have just save myself” you said while crossing your arms. “too much independent would cause you trouble” he scoffs, you couldn't help but to laugh at what he just said. “id rather have a lots of independent, if i will be honest.” you said, “i know you aren't asking my name, but, im xavier thorpe. you’re the new student here, right? the last time we met, i was about two feet shorter, and 40 pounds heavier” he said, “ah, yes. i do remember you, the guy who was painting earlier on the walls. im y/n ” you muttered. “y/n, sounds good” he said. “i believe i can go now, yes? well, see you around, xavier.” you said, getting up to exit the room. “yeah, see you too” he said looking at you.

a few werewolves were howling at the night. you and enid went to the window to check out. “if you really are a werewolf, why aren't you howling like them?” you asked, its quite different to encounter a werewolf not howling when its full moon. “i cant. my mom says some wolves are late bloomers, but i have been to the best lycanologist” she muttered, she only had a claw, which is awesome because of how she painted it with vivid colors. “i had to fly to milwaukee, would you believe it?” she said, toning disgusted at herself. “what happened next?” you asked, you were interested at it because of how different she was than other wolves here in nevermore. “i would be a lone wolf” she muttered, looking down. “thats quite sorrowful to know about you, what would happen if ever you didn’t wolf out yet?” you said, while you continue to asked her about her condition. “i uh... i’d be kicked out of my family pack with no prospect of finding a mate” she said, the tone was a bit aching to feel. its like a mixture of disappointed and rage of anger. “you’ll wolf out, someday. i can feel it” you said, cheering her up. “thanks, y/n. i do hope so”

the school announce that nevermore will be attending to a harvest festival this night. “hey, are you excited for this event?” enid asked, smiling at you. “yeah, well i guess. i’ll just play some games there basically” you said, smiling a little. “thats great, well, this event me and ajax will meet there too. im so excited!” she said. after arriving at the event, enid and you decided to split up there since she said she was gonna meet ajax, her crush basically. you walked around and play darts, it was a basic one, obviously. while playing, xavier went to you, “jeez, didnt know you get any better at this, i bet you can catch the big one toy here” he said already looking to you. “im good at any games, i have played this since i was seven” you muttered, the balloons went popping and popping 'til you win. “quite a good shot” he compliment, “why dont you go search for your hobbies rather than talking to me” you muttered, looking at him to see that he was smiling. “all right, well then, i’ll play these darts too” he said while keeping his smile there. he was quite great at shooting the darts in the balloon too, there was an emotion that pops up to you out of nowhere. it was a feeling that you had a long time ago, but you couldn't understand what that is, so you shrugged it away. “hey, is your mind full of thoughts?” xavier said, tapping your shoulders. you look at him with a wide eyes, you were spaced out because of the thoughts. you look at him holding a cute bear beside him, seem’s that he win the game too.

“everyone, the principal said we should go watch the fireworks!” a student shouted at the crowds. “we should get going now, y/n” xavier said, pulling you out of the crowds to watch the fireworks. you didn't respond but just nodded at him. the fireworks were amazing, different colors, both of you were smiling each other. “seems that you had a great smile hiding there” he said, smiling at you. you couldn't help but giggled at what he said. it feel like a spark was creating that day, you thought to yourself. “hey y/n? i have something to ask” he muttered, turning around to face you. “spit it out” you said, looking at him. “are you going to the poe cup competition?” he asked, smiling. it looks like he was expecting you to see there. “oh, well, i think i would join too. and i’ll go at enid’s team, if ever she would join too” you said.

and so, the poe cup competition begins. you saw enid and the other students designing the boat. it was black and the design was like a cat figure. you went to look it more closer, enid notice you and wave. “so, you’re going to the poe cup competition?” she asked, smiling as always. “yeah, and i decided that i wanted to be part of your team, if thats what it calls” you muttered. “great! because our team will be having a cute black cat outfit this upcoming event! im sure you’ll love it” she said. “hm, maybe i will. i would check it out if there’s a costume published now” you replied. while enid was helping the others with the boat, you walked away silently and moved somewhere. while looking at the areas, you saw xavier at the archery. he was quite bad at it. you moved closer to have conversations with him, even in a small amount of time. “bad shot, i think you need a mentor for that” you said, crossing your arms. he looked at you with disbelief, “didnt see you coming, are you interested in archery or you’re here to entertain me instead?” he said, smirking while he tried for the second time. “actually, i was just lurking around here, until i saw you” you replied. you started to pick up the bow and a arrow to tried it out. “have you ever tried to handle a bow and shoot an arrow?” he asked. “we’ll see what i can do” you said, you prepared your bow and arrow to shoot it in the red spot. the luck was on your side, the sharp of the arrow went thru to the red spot. while xavier, he was quite impressed at what you did. “impressive, i already think to your statement earlier that you should be my mentor instead” he said, smirking at you. “dont gave me that look, it’s intriguing” you said. “well, see you in the competition, i bet you’ll look nice” you said and swiftly walked away. “is that a flirt or a compliment?” he shoutedly asked to you.

it is now class time and you walked over to the following schedule. you saw bianca and the other sirens looking at you. “there’s an open spot next to me” xavier spoked, you walked beside him and sit. looks like he was sketching something, more like a spider. he moves his hand only to make the sketch of his to move in reality. you can say that it was quite impressive that a sketchy spider can be alive in just by his hands. “admit it, you’re a little impressed” he muttered, looking at you with a smile. “hate to admit that you’re right, i was impressed in that magical hands of yours” — “wanna know what this magical hands can do?” xavier said, you looked at him with a disgust, but your insides says otherwise.

it is now the competition for the poe cup, enid’s team was labeled as black cats, its quite attractive. “hey, y/n! your costume is at the tent! you can wear it now” she said, smiling at you. “oh, thats great news. i’ll go wear it now.” you muttered, the outfit was fitted, and the ears fitted well to you. “OMG, you look purr-fect!” enid said, she walked back to help the others with the whiskers. while xavier walked towards you, “didnt know you’ll look good in black, y/n” he said, looking up and down at you. “you look like a serial killer clown at that costume of yours, thats more than a word attractive to me” you replied, smirking at him. “i considered that as a flirt, i’ll get back that” he said while smiling, he went on to his team and sat on the boat. it was now all settled, everyone was on the boat now. while you were focusing, you notice xavier was looking at you, you went to look at him but he looked to another direction. “i want to wrlcome you all to the edgar allan poe cup!” — “this is one of nevermore’s proudest annual traditions, dating back 125 years. each team must row across to raven island, pull a flag from crackstone’s crypt, and hustle back without sinking or being sunk. first team to cross the finish line with their flag wins the cup and bragging rights for a year, as well ss some special privileges. ”

“let the poe cup begin!” a sound of shotgun bang to the air and all teams swiftly sweep in the lake. one of the teams were suddenly drag on the side of the lake, causing them to bump into the giant figure and sunk. you immediately figured out that someone was trying to ruin the teams, so you immediately made up a plan. you remembered before the competition that you requested enid to put some traps or any thing that can capture in the lake. and this was the great time, you click the button and immediately figured it out that there was a mermaid nearby your boat that was about to sabotage. luckily it was now wrapped by a fishnet and no longer can bother your team. as your boat hit the next task, “stay here and make sure the other teams can't sabotage our boat. im gonna get the flag and perhaps, distract some jokers” you said to enid, you quickly run to the woods to find the crackstone’s crypt, you saw xavier there so you quickly hide from a tree to sabotage him. when you saw xavier is now nearby to you, you rush to pull him somewhere. “hey! we still have a competition, what were you thinking?” he asked, you quickly covered his mouth as you both made your way to the crackstone’s crypt where your flag was. “shush your mouth or my mouth will do it for you” you said while you picked up your team’s flag. “as if your mouth can make me shut up, prove it then” he said pulling you closer to him, you were furious because of what he said, the tone was underestimating you. you pull him closer to gave him a peck of kiss, and run away from him. he was about to gave it all but all he gotten was frustration from you for teasing, as you now go back to your teams, xavier also came back as well. while your team is at the lake coming back for the finish line, the mermaid was back again at the lake, trying to destroy your team’s boat, but you didn’t want to disappoint your friend neither anyone. so, you decide to swim over down to pull the mermaid back on what he needs to be. you pull his tail down to the lake and luckily, he swim away. you went back to the boat because of the water suffocating your lungs. your team fastly sweep the lake back to the nevermore, you and the team also sabotage the bees boat to slow them down. luckily, your team won after the competition. a lots of students was shocked after the competition, because all they knew is that bianca, herself, will always win. not until you were now part of the nevermore.

not until xavier pulled you to his dorm. you knew you’re fucked up.

“oh, so you’re into teasing, isn’t? teasing me in the middle of competition, you planned this, didn’t you y/n?” he asked, he was now pinning you against the wall, letting out his anger and frustrations at you. “would you be done if i said yes? or what? you’re gonna do something to me, you little fratboy” you muttered, you moved away yet his hands grab you and push you to bed. “oh yeah? actually, i have something to confess before i start something fun” he said while looking up and down to you with a smirk. “spit it out xavier, i dont wanna wait” you stated, “you know, ever since the harvest festival, i already have feelings for you. and i cant get you off my mind, and in the meantime, i’ve always wanted to have intimate with you, hopelessly devoted to get you” he said, you were shocked after what he just said. you didn’t know what to feel, the heat was getting higher and higher, it was so intense. all this time trying to shrug your feelings towards him, he finally cleared it out. you couldn’t express it properly so you pulled him to a kiss, he kissed back to you that is no eager, so needy. it looks like he have been waiting patiently for this to happened. his tongue swiftly made his way to your mouth, causing you to moan in the kiss, his hands went thru your boobs to massage it softly, your back arch because of it. both of you cut the kiss to breath first. “your outfit looks good, but you’ll look good without them, love” he said, pulling off your costume. “i didnt know jokers were into rough sex, quite fascinating to discover” you muttered, taking off his hat and running your fingers to her hair. “oh dont worry, my magical hands can do so much in you, also my mouth. just watch” he muttered, after he successfully took off your costume, you also pulled his clothes off and throw it somewhere in the room.

“lay down” he demanded, you did what he told to avoid more argues. “well look at that, such a beautiful sight for my eyes. its more than what i sketch about this” he muttered, he leans closer to your core and gives it a lick. you muffled at his action, “dont f-fucking tease xavier, please” you begged, he looked at you with a smirk in his face. “that’s a revenge for making me hard on the competition, beg more, love, maybe i can give what we both needed” he suggested, rubbing circles in your pussy. “p-please, xavier... i-i didn’t really meant to tease you that time, i j-just really want to feel your lips. please, xavier” you explained, arching your back to give signals to him to continue. “i’ll believe for now” he said, as he positioned himself at your core to have a taste. he leans closer and licks it. you moaned his name causing him to continue to eat you out. he puts kisses and licks at your pussy, even biting it, causing you to moaned loudly and continuously arch your back several times. but xavier wasn’t satisfied with, he push a finger inside of you while he continues to eat you out. you pulled his hair while continuously moaning his name. “fuck, your mouth is really good, p-please continue, im close” you said while rolling your eyes because of the pleasure. xavier nodded and pushes one more finger inside you and started to push in and out with a more pace of speed. while his mouth is busy tasting you more and more. “a-ah! im coming!” you shouted, “come on me love” in the exact time he said that, you come in his mouth. he took off his fingers and licks it, tasting you. “you taste delicious than my daily meal” he muttered, leaning you for a kiss, the kiss was passionate. you kissed back and wrapped your arms around his neck. “i’ll help you clean up, and overall, what happened between us is amazing. and i want to ask you out for a date after?” he said, “of course, and, we’re gonna be lovers after all” you replied.

[meear]

The state of siblings in HP&the Deathly Hallows

Deathly Hallows is the book that shines a (new) light on every sibling in the story.

This is where we see Lily and Petunia's childhood, we learn about Aberforth and Albus' story, we read about Regulus' death, Percy's return (and even, to some extent, Harry and Dudley's goodbye, though of course they were never raised as siblings nor did they ever consider each other as such, but they did grow up under the same roof). This is the book where Ron finally confronts his insecurities, by destroying the locket who was throwing all of his family issues back into his face.

We finally meet Andromeda, the last Black sister, and we have Bellatrix mention her ("We—Narcissa and I—have never set eyes on our sister since she married the Mudblood"). In HP7, Molly even tells Harry that Fabian was her brother, which is something the reader never knew

I often see people drawing parallels between Sirius&Regulus and Lily&Petunia, both of these pairs being estranged siblings, but... They really don't have that much in common.

I've never seen anyone commenting on the Blacks' similarities to the Weasleys (by which I mean Percy) and the Dumbledores, when these three families have SO much more to offer. I think about them so often you do not understand. I don't even know where to begin. I've ended up putting a bunch of dialogue from the book, so it's a bit lengthy, but long story short:

Albus, Aberforth, Sirius, Regulus and Percy make me feel insane

Percy and Albus, two brillant, ambitious and arrogant young men, who felt trapped, who thought they were destined for more than the condition their family had condemned them to, who were desperate to leave their home and get their chance to shine despite their father's awful reputation, even by supporting corrupt ideals. Read what Dumbledore tells Harry at the end of HP7, and tell me it couldn't have come out straight of Percy's mouth:

"I resented it, Harry. I was gifted, I was brilliant. I wanted to escape. I wanted to shine. I wanted glory [...] So that, when my mother died, and I was left the responsibility of a damaged sister and a wayward brother, I returned to my village in anger and bitterness. Trapped and wasted, I thought!"

"[Percy] said he’s been having to struggle against Dad’s lousy reputation ever since he joined the Ministry and that Dad’s got no ambition and that’s why we’ve always been — you know — not had a lot of money"

Mind you, there's a bit of Sirius in it too, Sirius who also left. We learn about Percy and Sirius at around the same time (the beginning of Ootp, chapters 4 and 6) and I don't think it's a coincidence (edit: forgot to mention it but there's even a chapter named "Percy and Padfoot" in that book). Here's what Ron says:

"And if Mum and Dad were going to become traitors to the Ministry [Percy] was going to make sure everyone knew he didn’t belong to our family anymore. And he packed his bags the same night and left."

" 'You ran away from home?' 'When I was about sixteen,' said Sirius. 'I’d had enough.' "

"As far as I’m concerned, they’re not my family. She’s certainly not my family. [...] D’you think I’m proud of having relatives like her?”

Fred and George were angry at their older brother for putting his ambitions above his family and morals (I'm Percy's #1 fan and defender btw), and Aberforth was furious with Albus for the same reason. Again, this reads like something that Ron could've said about Percy, the pompous little snob (i love him):

Sirius and Percy are also not present on the family pictures:

"A photograph of the Weasley family stood beside the in-tray. Harry noticed that Percy appeared to have walked out of it."

" “I used to be there,” said Sirius, pointing at a small, round, charred hole in the tapestry, rather like a cigarette burn."

"Not Albus, he was always up in his bedroom when he was home, reading his books and counting his prizes, keeping up with his correspondence with ‘the most notable magical names of the day’ "

It's just that Percy and Albus betrayed their family by supporting wrong causes and Sirius betrayed his family by supporting the right one. but Regulus' support was an act of loyalty to his family. Aberforth and Kreacher tell Harry about Albus and Regulus' former goals:

"Didn’t I understand, my poor sister wouldn’t have to be hidden once they’d changed the world, and led the wizards out of hiding, and taught the Muggles their place?"

"For years [Master Regulus] talked of the Dark Lord, who was going to bring the wizards out of hiding to rule the Muggles and the Muggle-borns...."

I know I've been comparing Albus to Sirius, both of them being the oldest brother, but really Albus' ideological progression and death most resemble Regulus'. (both Black brothers share traits with both Dumbledores really). though of course, Harry didn't let Ron and Hermione make excuses for Dumbledore just because he was young:

" 'it’s an awful thought that Dumbledore’s ideas helped Grindelwald rise to power. But on the other hand, even Rita can’t pretend that they knew each other for more than a few months one summer when they were both really young, and— '

'I thought you’d say that,' said Harry."

" 'Dumbledore being pals with Grindelwald, but now it’s just something to laugh about for people who didn’t like Dumbledore, and a bit of a slap in the face for everyone who though he was such a good bloke. I don’t know that it’s such a big deal, though. He was really young when they— '

'Our age,' said Harry"

" 'He was a Death Eater,' said Harry. 'Sirius told me about him, he joined up when he was really young and then got cold feet and tried to leave' "

(i would like it on record that the exact expression "really young" is found thrice in HP7, two of them being about Albus, the last one about Regulus. i'm so incredibly normal about this)

"and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord"

"[Dumbledore] changed, Harry, he changed! It’s as simple as that! Maybe he did believe those things when he was seventeen"

"I know what you’re going to say, she went on as Harry began to protest, that Regulus changed his mind . . ."

Albus and Regulus were two misguided brothers who both drank the drink of despair in the Inferi cave before dying, the only two wizards to have done so. Not only that, both of them had actually planned their own death; though it was a secret only known by the one who had assisted them (the chapters revealing the truth about Regulus and Albus are literally called "Kreacher's tale" and "the Prince's tale", like they're referencing each other, I'm in my incredibly delusional era right now). They started something (the same thing, in fact) they could not see through to the end, and "faced death in the hope" someone else would finish it:

"We want to finish the work Master Regulus started, we want to—er—ensure that he didn’t die in vain"

"he left me a job [...] Your brother knew how to finish You-Know-Who and he passed the knowledge on to me"

Both Sirius and Aberforth hated their brother's choices, but actually (as Harry told Aberforth) neither of them fully understood their brother's last moments. and because they didn't have that knowledge, neither of them ever gained a complete understanding of their brother:

"And Albus was free, wasn’t he? Free of the burden of his sister, free to become the greatest wizard of the— '

'He was never free,' said Harry."

"From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out."

"And he drank— all the potion— and Kreacher swapped the lockets"

"The night that your brother died, he drank a potion that drove him out of his mind."

"He thought he was watching Grindelwald hurting you and Ariana... It was torture to him, if you’d seen him then, you wouldn’t say he was free."

"Kreacher and Regulus’s family were all safest if they kept to the old pure-blood line. Regulus was trying to protect them all."

You know who ELSE "was never free" though??

I ask, but you already know.

" 'I don’t like being back here,” [Sirius] said, staring across the drawing room. 'I never thought I’d be stuck in this house again.' "

"I returned to my village in anger and bitterness. Trapped and wasted, I thought!"

Albus was never free. Sirius was never free either.

But wait! there's more!

"But Harry, his mother had just died, he was stuck alone in the house— '

'Alone? He wasn’t alone! He had his brother and sister for company, his Squib sister he was keeping locked up— ' "

Of course, knowing this about Albus Dumbledore, this scene at the end of OotP might hit a bit different:

“ 'I was trying to keep Sirius alive,' said Dumbledore quietly.

'People don’t like being locked up!' Harry said furiously, rounding on him. 'You did it to me all last summer —'

Dumbledore closed his eyes and buried his face in his long-fingered hands. "

Now do I think there's a link between Albus&Sirius being stuck in the house and Dumbledore keeping his sister locked up to protect her life and keeping Sirius locked up to protect his life... maybe it wasn't intentional, or maybe it was; either way, it's very juicy to think about, and Dumbledore's reaction after what Harry says? if there's even the slightest possibility he might have been thinking about Ariana...I'm EATING this up.

Let us not forget about Percy Weasley though. In the end, both Percy and Albus came to their senses, though not without losing a younger sibling, Fred and Ariana. Is it possible that Albus saw a bit of himself in Percy at the time? Maybe, maybe not, but he did try to comfort Molly about Percy:

" 'Dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right,' said Hermione. 'I heard him telling your mum, Ron.' "

"Reality returned in the form of my rough, unlettered, and infinitely more admirable brother. I did not want to hear the truths he shouted at me."

So yeah, they made wrong choices, but again, that doesn't mean they can't change:

" 'I was an idiot, I was a pompous prat, I was a— a— '

'Ministry-loving, family-disowning, power-hungry moron, said Fred. "

"Stupid idiot . . . he joined the Death Eaters."

" 'Don’t worry about Percy,' said Sirius abruptly. 'He’ll come round.' "

Remember the previous comparison between Albus and Percy, about both of them being the stuck-up pretentious brother?

"It was a porapous little sign, neatly lettered by hand - the sort of thing that Percy Weasley might have stuck on his bedroom door: Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black"

I think about this description a normal amount, the exact amount of thought warranted for such a short, inconsequential description, in fact

Another thing Deathly Hallows did was challenging our perception of Sirius and Albus (granted, mostly Albus) by developing a younger brother who, against all odds, might have been more admirable than them in certain aspects. when Regulus and Aberforth are first mentioned, one is a cowardly Death Eater and the other is implied to be a goat-fucker. alright. and yet, if you only read the last book, you end up having a more positive impression of Aberforth and Regulus than of their older brothers, to the point where Albus and Sirius even get compared to Voldemort. Interestingly, I feel like Albus makes an indirect reference to Kreacher here:

"That which Voldemort does not value, he takes no trouble to comprehend. Of house-elves and children’s tales, of love, loyalty, and innocence, Voldemort knows and understands nothing."

of course Regulus was not brought up in his last conversation with Harry, but there really isn't anyone else this comment could refer to, and it does echo "Kreacher's tale" nicely:

"Of course, Voldemort would have considered the ways of house-elves far beneath his notice . . . It would never have occurred to him that they might have magic that he didn’t."

"I’ve said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did . . . and so did Sirius."

"Sirius was horrible to Kreacher, Harry, and it’s no good looking like that, you know it’s true"

"He’s loyal to people who are kind to him, and Mrs. Black must have been, and Regulus certainly was"

"my rough, unlettered, and infinitely more admirable brother"

"Was I better, ultimately, than Voldemort?"

"Master Regulus always liked Kreacher."

"The barman face was impassive. After a few moments he said,

'I’m sorry to hear it, I liked that elf.' "

Sirius and Albus really wanted to distance themselves from the reminders of their home, and as a result, they weren't always decent people. Of course I don't believe for a second Sirius and Albus were actually as bad as Riddle. they both did fucked up things, so did Regulus who joined the Death Eaters and Aberforth who suggested using Slytherin students as hostages (tf), so I'm not saying one amongst these four is obviously better than the others, but. this reversal is still really interesting.

The fact that Aberforth was helping Harry through Sirius' mirror. The fact that one of Albus' names is Percival. Hell, let's reach even further, Albus meaning "white" and Sirius&Regulus' last name being "black".

Like I'm sorry, but to me this is cinema.

[sincerely-sofie]

Seeing as you have finished writing the script for your AU thingy, I wanna know, how?

Like, were you motivated the whole time? Or was it a on and off writing type thing?

i'm trying to write but I don't know if I have the motivation...

How did you keep the motivation if so?

Oh man. I have so much to say about writing and creativity that I could make an entire series of posts talking about the subject, but I'll try to keep things orderly and brief.

Disclaimer: I should let you know that I have never finished a writing project before recently finishing my TPiaG AU. Keep that in mind when reading the advice I offer— the tips I give have only been put into work in my own life over the course of the last couple of months, but they’ve proven very effective in my experience!

Sofie Creativity Tips Episode 1, go!!!

Was I motivated the whole time I was writing TPiaG / How did I stay motivated?

Absolutely not. If I hadn’t provided myself a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline for TPiaG before starting the writing process, I would have given up thanks to a mix of writer’s block and absent motivation. Motivation is a fickle muse and prone to ditching me for months on end, so I’ve adapted by trying not to rely on it, but also by creating new motivation rather than clinging to past motivation. I create motivation for myself in two ways: removing friction when writing and being my own fandom.

Removing friction is pretty simple— I create very detailed chapter outlines that remove any fear of writer’s block, set up my devices in a way to make it easy to access my manuscripts and notes, download premade writing playlists that have Pomodoro session break timers built into them, and more. Anything that makes the writing process easier to get into and enjoy doing, I make sure to incorporate into my life.

Being my own fandom is less intuitive, but a thousand times more rewarding in terms of motivation. I make memes of my characters. I write self-indulgent snippets on the side. I make AUs of my own work. I make playlists and save audio clips that suit the characters. I draw comics exploring concepts that might not get into the manuscript itself but that I want to make content for regardless. Basically, I dive in deep into the story, characters, and world, and try to do so with the enthusiasm that I give other people’s projects.

(That part is extra fun, because if I have a headcanon, it automatically becomes canon to whatever AU or original project I’m working on. I have all the power in the world when working like this, and it’s very fun.)

What changed and made it so I finished my first ever written project?

This isn’t exactly what was asked, but because I have eschewed motivation as the main driving force in my writing process, I figured I’d give another insight into how TPiaG went against the pattern of half-started and swiftly abandoned projects that came before it and actually got finished. Late into October, I adopted a new method of producing first drafts. Previously, I would spend weeks polishing the same chapter and would only move on to the next chapter once the current one was perfect. My new method is the complete opposite. I’ve started calling it Writing BFF:

Write bad

Write fast

Write fun

First up, write bad. The point of this is not to waste your time writing prettily during your first draft. Don’t bother agonizing over how to reword that one sentence to be more elegant when it does the job well enough to get its point across. Don’t go off on a 30-minute research tangent in the middle of a writing session because you want to fact-check that one detail and make sure it’s perfectly accurate when you could just put a placeholder detail in brackets and CTRL+F search and plug in something accurate later on. Don’t write pretty, write bad. And be okay with it. You can’t edit an empty page, so fill the page with as much garbage as possible so that you can turn it into gold later on.

Next, write fast. This is only effective when paired with writing bad. Don’t pause, don’t hesitate, don’t deliberate. Write as much as you can and do it as fast as you can. This idea is best illustrated by Chris Fox’s book 5,000 Words Per Hour, where he talks about increasing your WPM (words per minute) and how it makes everything about your writing better. The person who creates a beautiful first draft once every three years is doing okay, but the person who cranks out a complete manuscript every three months learns leagues more about writing than the first person does by the end of three years. The second person has practiced outlining, drafting, editing, publishing, and more with every manuscript completed. The faster you write, the better you get, because practice makes perfect and quantity begets quality.

Finally, write fun. I write what I enjoy, and if I’m not enjoying it, I pivot the project so that I enjoy it again. I like writing deeply personal stories, so pretty much everything I write is heavily based on my life and experiences— TPiaG included. Grovyle’s portrayal is deeply influenced by my experience being an elder sibling who has been a bad example of self-talk, and cleaned up my act because my younger sister started echoing how I spoke to myself. Dusknoir’s portrayal is informed by my experiences with being the therapist / mom friend in different social circles as well as attending actual formal therapy. Twig is the character that my experiences have the greatest influence on in her portrayal, and I joke about her being a self-insert, but ultimately all of the characters are self-inserts to some extent. I also enjoy low-stakes and slow slice-of-life stories that are driven by character growth. If I ever stop having fun with a project, I inject more of myself and my preferences into my work to get it back into my favor.

TL;DR / Writing advice lightning round

Write as badly as possible as quickly as possible, and have fun as you do it. Momentum yields motivation and stagnancy yields doubt. Editing comes only after the first draft is complete. Be your own fandom and your project’s biggest fan. Give yourself direction and ward against writer’s block by making detailed chapter-by-chapter outlines. Make the writing process as easy and enjoyable as possible. Motivation is a lie and if you chase after it instead of making your own, you’ll be writing on hard mode for the rest of your life. Reject perfectionism, embrace flawesomeness.

If I didn’t answer your question right, let me know! I’ll do my best to correct it.

[skeletonpunching]

Buddy Daddies Comic Natalie interview with Toyonaga Toshiyuki and Uchiyama Koki

[Translator’s note: This interview accompanies a special feature where Toyonaga and Uchiyama make French toast together and play various games. I’m just translating the interview for now, because it’s relevant to upcoming episodes.]

Interviewer: Good work on the filming! How do you feel, looking back on all that now?

Toyonaga Toshiyuki: Uchiyama-san said that he wasn't feeling confident, but in the end... I think he sure came through with something that was up to par. How about you?

Uchiyama Koki: (laughs)

Toyonaga: Really, getting to see Uchiyama-san's smile is the most important thing, isn't it?

Uchiyama: (interrupting) Can you not? That'll come across really differently in print!

Toyonaga: But seriously, we had a blast filming together!

Uchiyama: This recording session really was jam-packed with content... But I think the video will turn out to be very much worth a watch. I usually don't cook at all, so I'm thankful to everyone that I've been able to have this valuable experience.

Interviewer: We'll be looking forward to the programme broadcast, to see how the French toast that both of you made actually turned out. But if you each had to rate your own performance, how many points would you give?

Toyonaga: Well, people who are old hands at cooking probably wouldn't be able to stand the sight of it, but... I think this is about as much as you can expect from beginners! Both of us get ten out of ten - full marks. I mean, look at these people who can't cook doing their best!

Uchiyama: I managed to cook something that made full use of the ingredients. I deserve 120 points for that alone.

Toyonaga: (laughs)

Interviewer: The anime broadcast has reached the point where Kazuki and Rei show up to cheer for Miri at her sports day. Of the episodes that have aired so far, which have you found the most memorable?

Toyonaga: When it comes to Kazuki, I think episode 7, which depicted his past, was a pivotal point. He made the choice not to cut ties with his past, but to accept it; that moment when he started walking down this new path was very impactful. And then next, episode 8 portrayed Rei's past. After the details of Kazuki and Rei's backstories were revealed, watching episode 9, which built on those things, really packed a punch. The two of them have both been through a lot of pain related to their families, so them getting to participate in sports day as fathers is just a sublime turn of events.

Uchiyama: I agree. The sports day episode was incredibly memorable for me. Especially the scene where Rei unconsciously raises his voice to cheer for Miri. Rei is usually so cool-headed, I could never have imagined that from him. But he's accumulated so much through living together with Miri, and I think that scene is where it all reaches a payoff. During the recording sessions, I was very aware that there were certain scenes which are meant to make you sense how Rei has changed.

Interviewer: Kazuki and Rei are buddy assassins, but once Miri shows up, we see them struggling to take on the role of fathers. There are many scenes where we see the two of them developing as guardians, but from your perspectives as performers, are there any scenes which truly made you feel how the character you play has grown?

Toyonaga: I think there are lots of ways Rei has grown, but as for Kazuki - rather than him having changed, I'd say he used to think "if I had a child, here's what I'd love to do", and now he's actually able to make those things happen. As he interacts with Miri-chan, she's drawing out all those feelings he originally had. And so Kazuki, who used to face the past with a mindset of atonement, has now switched to thinking, "It's fine to live happily in the present." I think that's his greatest change. Yes, there's always that potential retort of, "But you're an assassin, aren't you?" But this series is very careful to show that, before he's an assassin, he's a human being, first and foremost. I keep that in mind during my performance.

Interviewer: Kazuki and Rei have both been very much affected by their "daughter" Miri. Uchiyama-san, how about Rei?

Uchiyama: Rei wasn't too keen on living together with Miri in the first place, but if Kazuki wanted to look after Miri, he wouldn't really give a firm refusal. And then once he was actually living with Miri, he found himself moved by all of her mannerisms and gestures. When Miri was about to be taken away by the police, in order to bring her back, he declared, "I am her papa." And as Rei kept living like this, softer feelings started to grow steadily within him, and his emotional state began to change. When recording the early episodes, the director told me, "Even when Miri and Kazuki are having a lively conversation, Rei shouldn't get too caught up in the spirit of things." I think Rei's gradual development is crucial to the story.

Interviewer: Now that the finale is just round the corner, the story is wrapping up at last. "Buddy Daddies" is an original anime, so the viewers have no way to predict how it'll all end - could the two of you please tell us what we should be watching out for?

Toyonaga: Actually, the director told me, "Episode 9 is the last fluffy episode. So please put everything else out of your mind, and focus on depicting the close relationship between Kazuki, Rei, and Miri-chan."

Interviewer: W-what...!

Toyonaga: Yeah. And with three episodes left to the finale, the parts that everyone has been harping on until now - saying "no, no, that's not how it would happen!" - are suddenly taking on a whole new degree of realism. The audiences have some major shocks coming their way, and there are plenty of developments which make you go, "They're really going there...!" You're going to be confronted with the fact that Kazuki and Rei are assassins after all. But the reason why these realistic elements can play out is precisely because of the happy life they've established with Miri so far. I hope you can brace yourselves for it, so to speak. I'm sure there are people who've come up with all sorts of predictions, but you should probably consider how those predictions might actually turn out!

Uchiyama: Wow, you said it all!

Toyonaga: (laughs)

Uchiyama: Since it's an original anime, we recorded every episode with no idea how it would all conclude either. There are serious plot developments as we approach the finale, and I was quite surprised. So I'm curious how audiences will take it. I'm looking forward to everyone's reactions. Please be sure to watch till the very end.

[nian-7]

HAIII!! it’s me vani from the matchup requests hehehe (if u remember…but it’s okay if u dont lawl) i really love all your writings from almost all the fandoms you write for!! i think it’s probably your writing style which makes me really like your writings alot maybe?? basically, I LOVE YOUR BLOG ALOT N YOU SEEM RLLY COOL TOO!! :3c 

also, I’d like to be friends w/ you aswell even though im literally a blank/empty blog…(；ω；) (sort of planning to probably post something soon tho, but im not sure when…)

ALSO NOW I WANNA REQUEST FOR SMTH NOW SOOO can i request letters A, G, I, K, & Q from the sfw alphabet with satsuki and anne??? thank you so much in advance! have a great day! ☆ (also love ur new theme btw :33)

HI VANI!! i do remember you, yes. i'm not that bad with names thankfully... BUT OFC WE CAN BE FRIENDS!! i'll be looking forward to whatever you post on your blog but i hope you enjoy your request!

Anne, Satsuki x gn!reader

✧fluff alphabet (a, g, i, k, q)

Affection (pda? how do they like physical affection?)

-Anne loves physical affection. It's always something they love to indulge in. Whether that's grabbing your face to turn it towards them for a kiss or just having their hand intertwined with yours.

Gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

-Super gentle! You're their lover after all, why would they want to be rough with you when they love you so much? Always touching you so sweetly and giving you kisses that are full of love always. They're a little playful but they're always gentle.

Impression (their first impression of you)

-I'm very certain that Anne notices your style out of everything first. Your style is what draws them to you in the first place so their first impression is based on how much they're into your style more than how you actually look.

Kisses (how do they kiss you? where?)

-Usually your cheeks or lips are preferred. They love leaving lipstick marks on your cheeks and they especially love it if you have squishy cheeks! It's always got an underlying playfulness when they kiss you but it's always full of love.

Quality Time (do they enjoy it? how do they like to spend it?)

-Of course! Lots of dates are in order when you date Anne. Usually they consist of going out rather than staying it. They love to spend time with you and they consider it all a 'date' whenever they spend one on one time with you.

Affection (pda? how do they like physical affection?)

-Super duper embarrassed about it... Satsuki loves affection, especially from you, but he can't help but feel extremely embarrassed. PDA isn't something he always prefers and would like smaller affections when it's in public.

-In private though? Go wild. He loves it all even when he's red as a tomato. Like a sponge soaking up all the affection he can get from you. Pouts a little when you stop...

Gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

-Again, super duper gentle. He treats you like you're about to break sometimes and he becomes the biggest softie around you. He can't help it!! You're just so special to him that he can't bare the thought of accidentally hurting you!

Impression (their first impression of you)

-His first impression of you can go one of two ways, it just depends on what you want to see it as.

-Either one, he finds you interesting and/or cool and is interested in befriending you at some point. Maybe you met through a mutual friend so he was trying not to intimidate you... (if you prefer a sort of slow-burn story)

-Or.. love at first sight. Absolutely smitten by you in every way. Your laugh, your smile, your face, and whatever else he sees before he gets caught staring like an idiot...

Kisses (how do they kiss you? where?)

-Anywhere and everywhere is okay with Satsuki. He loves kissing you (even if he's too embarrassed to even initiate it...) so he doesn't even care where he's kissing you as long as he is kissing you.

Quality Time (do they enjoy it? how do they like to spend it?)

-He loves quality time. Much less embarrassing than physical touch or words of affirmation although he loves both of those things a lot. Just being in your presence is enough to make his day and he loves to go on dates with you.

please do not repost any of my work without my permission, thank you for reading.

[all4seth]

beautiful

this is probably so rushed and corny, i’m sorry

i looked around the empty beach, cross-legged as the cold air bit into my skin, my feet sinking in the wet sand.

it was a windy morning; nothing new to me or anyone else living in forks. i closed my eyes and let the fresh, almost sharp smell of the salty beach fill my lungs. the sound of the birds, alongside the waves crashing before reaching the shore was like a melody to my ears. there was something so comforting about my hometown, the la push beach in particular, something that would always draw me back here.

i swiftly opened my eyes, snapped back to reality by the sound of footsteps.

“’m sorry,” a dark haired boy mumbled “didn’t mean to bother you”

he sat down on a fallen tree branch, a few meters away from me.

“it’s fine”

i could feel his gaze on me as i looked away, hesitantly.

“why are you here this early?”

“why are you?” i returned.

“couldn’t sleep”

“me neither”

“may i?” he tilted his head, pointing to the spot beside me.

“yes, you may” i chuckled at his formality.

“i’m seth clearwater”

seth held out his hand with a warm smile as he sat down. i gladly shook it, returning his smile.

“y/n y/l/n”

we looked at each other for a few moments, before i broke eye contact.

“so, you’re from forks, i assume?” seth questioned.

“yeah, born and raised”

after a brief moment of silence, we burst out into laughter.

“i don’t usually talk like that, i promise” i laughed “i don’t remember seeing you around town”

“well, i live in the reservation” he clarified.

“that’s so cool! i don’t think i’ve actually met anyone from la push until now”

“why is that?”

“rectification: i don’t usually meet people. i pretty much try and keep to myself, y’know what i mean?”

i looked at him, only to find that he was still looking at me.

“yeah, i think i know what you mean. and, just for the record, i do recall seeing you around a few times”

his gaze intensified as his eyes wandered on my features, but his sweet, warm smile never left his face. he gulped and quickly looked away.

“so, what kept you up?” i asked, hoping it was a good conversation starter.

starting conversations has never really been my strong suit, neither has maintaining them; yet, for some reason, i wanted to keep talking to seth.

“sad thoughts i’d rather not think about” he breathed out. “you?”

“i don’t know” i admitted “i guess i just really wanted to see the beach”

“i always come here when it gets too loud in my head” seth mumbled.

“that makes two of us” i let out a subtle, bittersweet laugh.

a deep, comfortable silence installed, both lost in our own train of thoughts, yet aware of the other’s presence. we sat like that for a while.

suddenly, seth took off his shirt and handed it to me.

“what are you doing?” i frowned in confusion.

“you’re cold” he giggled under his breath.

he was right; if i hadn’t been so focused on the sea, i would have noticed my whole body was shivering.

“i’m fine, but thanks for offering”

“please?”

“well how do you expect me to turn you down now that you put those puppy eyes on display?” i cried sarcastically.

we laughed, before seth gently grabbed my hand.

“can i?” he asked.

“sure” i replied, although i had no idea whatever he had in mind.

he placed my hand on his warm, bare chest. too warm.

“see?” he asked “i don’t need it”

i gave in, taking the shirt and as i was putting it over my own, i demanded:

“close your eyes, it’s a surprise”

and so he did. a few moments later, i exclaimed:

“ta-daaa!”

seth opened his eyes to find me standing up with his shirt on, before i made a pirouette.

“what do you think?”

he couldn’t help but burst out laughing because of how big the shirt looked on me.

“well that’s just rude” i jokingly say, but laugh as well.

he then took my hand in his and delicately pulled me back down, next to him.

our laughs gradually stopped, and i was surprised to see we were still holding hands.

i looked at seth, who was smiling innocently, his eyes looking into mine.

he was so beautiful…

i leaned forward, and before i knew, my lips were pressed onto his. he was clearly astonished, but immediately gave into the kiss, parting his lips. his breath was warm and he tasted sweet, like honey. he softly cupped my face with his hand, as i placed mine on the back of his neck.

eventually, we pulled away, foreheads resting against each other, breathing heavily and smiling shyly.

“that was quite the kiss, mr. clearwater” i giggled.

all he did in response was laugh and once again, i couldn’t help but admire him.

[livums]

Why I haven’t written in several months

Im being dramatic—it’s been like 3.

Hello writeblr buds, I miss u and I hope the past few months have been as kind and restful as possible 🥰 I realized it’s been some time since I’ve written anything (or written anything about writing anything) and for some reason it’s of some importance to me that it doesn’t look like I vanished or lost interest/commitment to the space.

I’m trying to quit my fuck ass job :/

I have a whole lot of feelings about the job + the field itself and why I think my time in it is drawing to a close, but I probably won’t take the time to write about it here, unprompted. What’s much more exciting for me is, I think, my goal itself.

I realized in like November that I’m doing that thing again—waiting for my life to start. It started when I received an art book Kickstarter reward in the mail and held a very pretty holographic print in my hands up to the light in my bedroom. My bedroom walls were bare, and had been for the past year and some change, when I moved into this unit. I hadn’t felt comfortable decorating knowing I’d be moving out in “only two years”. I caught myself waiting for permanent stability again. Oops! My bad.

I spent hours decorating my walls with all the prints I’d accumulated over the past several years and I felt…. A way. I started using stickers in my journal.

What was I waiting for? What the fuck was wrong with me?

I’ve known I wanted to center art and creativity in my life for as long as I can remember. I’m not going to blame my parents or whatever, but I was told over and over again not to throw myself into pursuing art as a career. It’s not financially viable. “You’ll never make a red cent.” I’d never told them at all that I wanted to do art for a living. I convinced myself for a long time that I didn’t. Lol.

Before I graduated from college in 2020, I faced a decision. I could go to art school, I thought. I could get an MFA. I held an art school catalog in my hand that is requested in the mail. I’d carried it everywhere for months.

I went to grad school instead. Not that I’m bitching about getting into such a prestigious program in my field, but it always felt like the ultimate compromise. It’s something I could tell my parents about and have them be proud of me, while hopefully I could devote time to art on the side. It’s what I’d been doing for the past four years—compromising. I had a professor or three notice, even. Lol.

I moved to a new city in 2020, alone. I was turbo depressed. One day, I spent hours watching animated student films on youtube and bawling my eyes out. Before I had graduated from college, I’d faced a decision and chosen wrong. I asked myself over and over—What do you do if you chose wrong?

Grad school was a nightmare, and I’d rather die than go back, but I don’t even necessarily regret going, I think. I think it was important for me to be in this profession, at least for a time. Maybe this is just me coping, lol, but going to grad school inspired much of what I ventured to write in 2022 and 2023.

Anyways, when I recently held that holographic print up to my bare landlord-white walls, I realized that if I waited any longer to let myself live my life how I wanted, then I was an idiot. In kinder words. I have no excuse not to. I’m giving myself massive grace by believing truly that the past seven years were not a waste of time, but I can’t lie to myself that I’m satisfied with the way my life is right now.

The point is-- I’ve slowed down writing recently because my focus has shifted to art. I’m DEFINITELY not done writing. Not at all! I just realized that if I want to achieve my goal of making enough consistent money off of art to leave my job, I’ll have to start treating art like a second job. Between devoting time to my fuck ass job, to art as a living, and to writing seriously, I’m in kind of a pick-any-two situation. Before, it was fuck ass job and writing seriously. I want to eventually be focused on art and writing as the pillars of my livelihood—that’s my ultimate dream. And we all know that writing is the longest game of creative and financial delayed gratification ever, lol.

I haven’t really talked about this that much on my other socials, lol, but for whatever reason I woke up this morning and felt like I wanted to give an explanation for my sparse writeblr presence. As I hopefully get to scale back to part-time clinician in the future, I hope to get back into some of my stories and start re-breaking old bones into something new and revitalized.

AN EE WAYS, if you’ve read all that, thank you. Mutuals, if u want my discord, feel free to pm me! I’m not disappearing (I will be on tumblr just as much as I have been, which is to say, daily), but I’m much easier to reach by other means. I’ll be (and have been) posting much more on my art blog @lurrkingly as well! If you’d like to um. Witness Me, I’m most Witnessable there or on my art Twitter (also @lurrkingly). (I also have a spicy art Twitter linked to the main one, which I hope to probably be. Siphoning off of for income one day soon. Praying etc.)

I have a game plan, my partner is an excellent support (I think they like playing manager, LOL), and I think, I really think, that I can do it! 🥰🥰🥰

Ok bye MWAH! I like you guys and I’ll never leave! 🎉 💜

[androidcharles]

Stickmin Fandom Secret Valentine's Info Post/Sign ups!

Check, check, this is androidcharles telling you guys about my new secret Valentine’s day event! A fandom I was once a part of did this a while back and I thought it was a pretty swanky idea, so I thought I’d host a secret Valentine’s myself. This’ll be the first Secret Santa thing that I’ve ever hosted, so please keep in mind I will make mistakes! Here’s a deep dive in the scheduled events I have lined up (psst, under the read more! ↓):

Jan 14th through 18th: Sign Ups! This will be the sign up period! Make sure you use the template below to submit an NON ANONYMOUS ASK to this blog stating your wishlist and such. DO NOT WORRY, NOTHING WILL BE POSTED, however if you’re still squeamish, I’ll be more then happy to accept DMs as well. Sign ups will end at 12 AM CST in my timezone on Jan 18th exactly. Keep in mind any applications that pop up after this period will not be accepted, so make sure to sign up quick!

Jan 18th and 19th: Match-ups! This is when you will be receiving your giftee! You have to keep in mind that this is ABSOLUTELY SECRET and you cannot tell anyone about it. You will receive a message through DM who your giftee is as well as their wishlist and any applicable refs as well. Also keep in mind your giftee is not the same as your gifter; your gifter will quite possibly be a completely different person!

Jan 19th through Feb 13th: Gift Preparation! You will have at least four weeks in this time period to prepare your gift and give it all you’ve got. Please make sure it’s at least a good quality gift! I’m not asking you to repaint the Sistine Chapel, but it would be incredibly discouraging if you gave a sloppy MS paint doodle gift while your giftee managed to pull out all the stops and give something truly spectacular to theirs.

Feb 14th through 22nd: Gift Giving! At this point in time, you will be receiving and giving gifts! You can post your gift to tumblr (or DM it if you want) to your secret Valentine! Make sure you a.) @ the person you’ll be giving the gift to if you do post it and b.) @ me as well so I can see that you have posted your gift!

Application Template (use this to apply please!):

Username: Since this is purely through asks (unless you’re dming this to me, but even then...) and through the chance you can’t use your main blog, please put the blog name you want to be @’d through here

What you will do: Any medium you’re good with (fan fic, fan art, animatic, ect)

What you won’t do: Any medium you’re not good with

Discomfort Corner: Anything that makes you uncomfy enough that you would rather not draw or write it, be it a certain ship, character, or scenario.

Blacklist: The username (or usernames) of people you would rather not a.) receive from or b.) gift to. Keep in mind I don’t know how big this event will be, but in the event that I do get a huge reception from it, it’s better to have this kind of failsafe in mind JIC so everyone is comfortable with participating in the event.

Your gift request: Basically, what you want! Make sure you read the rules first, then specify exactly what you want.

Will you be able to do multiple gifts?: In the event that people drop out due to real life stress or otherwise, it’s best to have at least one or two who are willing to give extra gifts. Of course, I will be volunteering as well, but if you can give an extra gift or two, please let me know. This is not obligatory, I won’t think less of you if you say no!

Anything else?: Where you put what you think doesn’t fit within the criteria of the previous choices.

Refs: Whether it be a preferred design for a character or an OC, it would be best if you put them here! Not a lot of people share your personal design hcs, so please make sure you specify them here!

Rules!

Make sure that you send an ask or DM the RQ to me! Follow the template exactly please!

Make sure your gift request is able to be easily followed! Here’s a couple of examples

Good Example: For my gift request, I would like anything with Henry! Be it something with him solo or just something related to Rosemin or Stickprice! I would prefer not to receive an animatic though, if that’s ok!

Bad Example: Draw my OC please! (doesn’t provide a clear ref but gives a ten mile long paragraph of what they look like)

This is a pretty obvious rule in hindsight, but please PLEASE do not request anything NSFW, gorey, anything to do with fetishes (feet, inflation, vore, ect). There are going to be minors participating in this event potentially, so we can’t have anything like that.

THIS SHOULD ALSO BE A GIVEN BUT PLEASE DO NOT USE YOUR GIFT AS A WAY TO “ROMANCE” YOUR GIFTEE! I understand that with themes of love and romance it’s kind of standard, but this is more of a gimmick for fun’s sake, not some kind of matchmaker service. It especially gets bad if the person you’re trying to romance is a MINOR! You will be blocked and barred from participating in future events if you do end up doing this.

Canon ages for characters and such are VERY loose here, so make sure you use the Discomfort Corner section VERY LIBERALLY. If there’s a certain ship that makes you uncomfy b/c of HC ages, please make sure you state it there. Keep in mind that I am VERY AWARE of canon familial relationships and I will not hesitate to kick you out of the event if you insist on requesting something that borders on incest. I’m also allowing for angst requests, so please make sure you state if you’re not comfortable with that as well!

If you change your username at any point during this event PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I do not want someone DMing me during the gifting saying they can’t find you because you changed your username! Keep me up to date on any username changes so I can let your gifter know who to @!

If you’re DMing your giftee, please let me know so I can check you off. And if possible, the giftee needs to provide proof that they have received the gift as well!

PLEASE DO NOT HARASS YOUR GIFTER AFTER YOU RECEIVE YOUR GIFT! This is supposed to be in good fun and if you aren’t satisfied with your gift, then being a little shit isn’t going to win you any favors. You will be barred from future events if you decide to be a sore giftee about your gift.

And last but not least, I am giving at least four weeks to prepare your gift. If this isn’t enough time for you, you have to drop out of the event for any reason, and you have other obligations that might get in the way of this, please let me know ahead of time so I can contact people who can do multiple gifts to get started on making another gift.

If you do have your gift ready, but you don’t know if you’ll be able to post within the time period given, I will allow you to post it early so you don’t have to worry about not meeting the deadline

And above all else, have fun with this! This isn’t meant to be some kind of test, I just want it to be a fun little gift giving event!

[nonsensefromtheabyss]

Hello again! A question I've been meaning to ask you, between the Vizion aliens, do you have a favorite? Someone who you like writing for, their personality or just as a character.

Oh. Now that is a good question… I can’t possibly be normal about this one.

The short answer is that they all make me bite things for different reasons, and because of that I think I’d struggle to pick a clear favourite. They mean different things to me: one is blurring the line between monster and god when you really shouldn’t be either; one is inescapably doomed by the narrative; one is just a little guy. They’re all fuck ups in their own special ways and they all belong in the shredder <3

The long answer involves me rambling for forever about the characters themselves, and there is no way for me to escape from that looking sane because this is the sort of shit I’m using my literature degree for these days. We will go for the medium answer!

For writing specifically, there are different things to explore that make them interesting to me. The contradictions! The drive! I love that, despite everything, Viz is still something of an optimist who wants to do good, but his idea of ‘good’ is so deeply wrong it’s impossible for it to help anyone. I love that Diz had the potential to be legitimately brilliant but reduced himself to a snarling mess of an attack dog and wouldn’t know how to stop if he tried. I love that Quiz is a selfish coward who, when it comes right down to the wire, will stand against horrific odds for the mere hope that it will help. They all have positive traits that are ultimately so warped they loop back around into being their worst qualities.

(I think I’d say I like the ways the characters intersect the best rather than picking any one of them. Idk, man, it’s the triangle of it all: Quiz as the one the other two defend and manage, one of the few things they still team up for with no question; Diz as the lynchpin Quiz and Viz both knew separately before they ever met each other and who they both no longer understand; Viz as the leader they trust implicitly even when he’s horrifically wrong because there isn’t anyone else. And then they all have their own individual intricacies and concerns within this mutual framework.

Currently I’m switching between how they reacted to each other in the past and how they do now in the present, and Viz and Quiz are fascinating me. There’s a scene early on in their V.I.Z.ion era where Viz teaches Quiz to shoot properly. They get into an argument (because Diz is basically catatonic and tensions are high) and Quiz recognises for the first time that this isn’t a piece he’s moving around on a battleground anymore—it’s a guy. It’s the first time he breaks out of the Enquirer mindset he’s been trained in to and recognises Viz as a person. And for Viz, teaching Quiz to defend himself is an acknowledgment of him being part of his new, three-person crew, something he really didn’t want to have to accept for a lot of difficult reasons. The whole thing is just… not sweet, exactly, because look at who and what we’re talking about, but… it’s close. Especially after the outright dystopian shit I’ve written about their homeworld at this point. Anyway, unrelated ramble over.)

For drawing? My favourite is Diz. He only has two arms to deal with and therefore I only have to draw two hands! The silhouettes for the other two are also harder to work with. Sorry about your trauma buddy, but I can’t deny the convenience!

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Lost & Found - Chapter Nineteen.

Another chapter and wishes of a very happy Friday to my beautiful audience! :D

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen

Words - 3,763

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, Minors DNI. Recounts of kidnap, child trafficking, physical/verbal/sexual abuse.

4am. It was not a time Emma was used to seeing, unless she was up late being railed into a new shape by Guero, or enjoying the pleasures of partying. She knew Lee would be even less impressed, with how much she thrived upon a good night’s sleep. 

The very lady was waiting outside as they came out, Gilly yawning in the passenger seat. With their bags dumped in the back of her Escalade and Axl dropped next door for a stay with his uncle Tyrone (who proclaimed ‘imma spoil the dude to death, man!’) they climbed in, still half asleep. Since Emma had no passport or ID yet, Lee, Gilly and Guero were sharing the driving, just over three hours each to make the ten-and-a-half-hour journey rather than flying. 

“I feel bad, that we can’t fly and it’s because of me,” she huffed, Lee hitting the freeway, the engine roaring as the six hundred and eighty-two horses beneath the hood all charged to gallop. 

“How come you ain’t got that sorted yet?” Gilly asked, Emma sipping from her bottle of cherry Coke, burping quietly.  

“Because of a point Guero made,” she began, tightening the lid and placing it in her lap. “Since I’ve been a missing person, there’s obviously still a file open on me, one which will be closed when I show up. I’d likely have to be interviewed by the police over where I’ve been and who with for so long as well, too many questions would be asked.  

“If I ratted on Rocco, my worry about being snatched would turn into a worry about being shot in the head. I was going to go down the new identity route and buy fake documents, but depending on how all of this goes, I may not need to.” 

Lee looked at her in the rearview mirror, winking with a smile. “Here’s hoping, sugar.” She then paused before noting something glaring in similarity about the way all four had chosen to dress. “I can’t help but fuckin’ notice, I love the way all four of us try to look a little less like the tattooed reprobates that we are and instead, end up looking like the goddamned Addam’s Family.” 

Every single person within the car was donned in black, all of them beginning to laugh when they noticed that their attempt at semi-smartness had them appearing as if they were attending a funeral. 

“Goths R Us, man,” Gilly snorted with amusement, beginning to whistle the theme tune to the aforementioned family movie, Emma giving the double finger click at the required point, too.   

“Well, I gotta say it, sunshine. You suit being a redhead,” Lee then spoke, turning to look at her, thinking how pretty her bestie looked in the long, red wig with tumbling waves.  

“Doesn’t she, though?” Guero chimed, winking at Emma. “Maybe a little too much. Goddamn women, pulling some Jessica fucking Rabbit magic on a man." 

"What is it about you guys and that woman?" Lee cried, moving her car to the middle lane to overtake a slow-moving vehicle ahead. "She's a fuckin’ drawing!" 

"Yeah, and I'd nail her until I erased her, I swear to god," he chirped, Gilly busting into hysterics. 

"Same, bro. I'd fuck her until her colours ran!" Everyone fell apart in fits of laughter, Lee thinking that already it was more than worth her 3am start and missing her precious sleep for the sheer entertainment value alone. She wasn’t the only one glad of it, the comic relief provided by her boyfriend and Gilly just the thing Emma needed to take her mind off the fact that with every mile that passed, she was nearing the man she feared most.  

By the seven-hour point, Guero returned to her side in the back while Gilly took his turn behind the wheel, her nerves were palpable. Looking out of the window while gnawing on the side of her thumb, she saw a hand reach for hers in her peripherals, turning to watch Guero softly shake his head with a faint smile.  

“You’re stressing.” Pulling her hand away from her mouth, he grasped it in his, shifting over a little closer and wrapping his arm around her. “You gotta stop. Nothing bad is gonna happen.”  

“Easy to say that,” she muttered, leaning into him. 

“Yeah, it fucking is,” he snorted, kissing her head. “Cuz’ I’ll fucking finish him if he lays a finger on you, and you know this.” His hand tightened its grip on hers, his nostrils flaring a little. The rage towards Rocco still swirled just as tempestuously as ever, along with his already short fuse.  

He softened a little then, realising she likely didn’t need to hear it, or worry about him being able to hang onto his fiery temper. “I get it, you feeling nervous. It’ll be alright, though.”  

Nervous was somewhat of an understatement, Emma feeling like she wanted to throw up as Gilly parked outside the hotel just over three hours later.  

“So, what I’m thinking is that after talking to Obispo, these guys seemed to be enjoying everything the resort had to offer. Squash, golfing, casino, etc,” Lee began, after the guys had gone to check in. “Which means that I can hang around in the bar, keep an eye on the comings and goings of ‘em. Except, fuck. I don’t know what he fuckin’ looks like.”  

Emma pulled out her phone, calling up Google. As with a lot of notable members of the mafia, Vincent’s face was very easily accessible. Clicking on his mugshot from an arrest after a large shoot out he’d been arrested for his part in around a decade ago, she turned the screen. “Like that, but a little aged. He’s very distinctive.”  

Lee had already taken a good look at the hotel layout, scanning the pictures and seeing that from the large bar and restaurant area, the front desk and entrance was visible. She was entirely happy to play barfly with Gilly while Emma hid in her room. “Alright, and there’s my visual. He looks... intense.” 

That was one way to describe a man who had once chopped off someone’s feet and fed them to Diavolo, his Akita. “He is, he’s very formidable.” Her voice was small, the quietness of her tone reminding Lee of her demeanour back when they’d first met, minus the shaking and the stuttered words.  

Reaching for Emma’s hand, she cocked her head. “It’s fuckin’ gonna be fine. You forget I’m ex-military. I know how to run a fuckin’ smooth operation, sunshine.” She winked, Emma feeling at ease, squeezing her hand back before the arrival of Gilly and Guero parted them, hopping out of the car.  

“Lobby is all clear from anyone of the Italian American persuasion,” Gilly spoke, swinging his rucksack over his shoulder. “Let’s go.” Taking Guero’s hand, she gripped it tightly, adjusting her sunglasses before beginning to walk. She felt as if she had a serpent writhing around in her guts, some cold, spiny creature that thrashed angrily, her heartbeat escalating, expecting him to pop up at any moment and snatch her again. 

Heading in through the glass doors that slid open with a silky glide, her eyes were everywhere beneath her oversized aviators, Guero pulling her to the right, past the front desk and through to the safety of the ground floor hallway. Immediately, she felt herself unravel a little.  

“Okay, we’ll see you guys at some point, I guess. I will call with details from my little stakeout,” Lee spoke, she and Gilly continuing down the hall as Guero opened the door to their room. 

As soon as she was inside, she felt the creeping sensation at her back abate, yet she was a nervous mess, riddled with anxiety, wanting to go straight into her medication bottle and swallow back a couple of doses to calm herself. Taking more than her standard dose tended to have the opposite effect, though.  

Reaching for Guero, she wrapped herself around him, burying her face against the side of his neck. Safe person. Safe person scent. It transported her back to a time where he was the only person she’d trusted while in the thick of her anxious duress, but for that moment her body refused to comply with the logic her brain was desperately trying to convey.  

“Breathe, baby. It’s okay.” he told her, hands stroking her back, feeling her chest rising and falling rapidly against his, her heart pounding hard. He closed his eyes, arms tightening around her, a tide of anger rising within him. She’d worked so hard in the last near eleven months to recover, and now there she was again, trembling and frightened.  

The urge to go and wait outside of Rocco’s room and bypass the plan completely, to shoot him in the head as soon as he laid eyes on the vile, abusive, child trafficking, raping sack of shit who’d once again reduced his sweetheart to a nervous wreck was almost all encompassing. He knew though that would land them in the kind of trouble none of them would survive, taking out a mafia boss without the agreement of those who served under him.  

He couldn’t even imagine an alternative to Calabrese condoning the hit, or being told that the Romano family would handle it internally, should he be in complete agreement with the proposal they were bringing to him. None of them could live unless he died, and Emma? She’d be returned to Staten Island, with nobody to save her.  

The thought of being dead and her alone in the world had been on his mind so much, he’d even considered fleeing with her to Mexico, should things not go in the favour of the Mayans. He loved his club, but he wouldn’t be a sitting duck, waiting for the weight of the mafia to crush them.  

He believed in standing to fight, and his loyalty to the club tugged strongly at him, but he was smart enough not to remain on a sinking ship if he saw water beginning to pour in. He had not come to such a conclusion easily, either. His simple desire to survive outweighed anything else, now that it potentially could come down to that.   

Realising he was spiralling into his own thoughts, he shook himself from it all, being present for her, as he needed to be before anything else. Holding her close had begun to calm her, Emma finally straightening to kiss him, resting her forehead to his.  

“And I’m calmer now.” Her thumbs stroked over the flecks of stubble dotting his cheeks. “Thanks for always been so steadying when I need you to be.” 

Smiling, he kissed her again. “You’re welcome, and good. I fucking hate seeing you like that, all cuz’ of him.”  

Sucking in a breath over her teeth, she drew her shoulders up, the weight of her sigh tugging them down again. She hated feeling like that, too, everything rushing to the surface once more. “Let’s pray he isn’t going to be around much longer to do it, huh?”  

It went without saying, he thought. 

They hung around in the room for a few hours, Lee calling at just before seven, informing Emma that the mob guys had all just arrived in the bar for a drink, before being told by one of the staff that their cars were ready. With it looking like they were heading out elsewhere for the night, she was safe to go and eat dinner in the restaurant, a prospect that made her feel nervous, but that she participated in all the same. She changed into a long, tight grey dress, having to fend off Guero before they left. 

“What’s the matter with you?” she laughed upon sitting at the table, Lee virtually vibrating in her seat opposite. “You look a little jazzed, buddy.” 

“Been on the fuckin’ coffee all afternoon! Changed to sparkly water about halfway through, but I didn’t wanna get loaded propping up the bar and I think choosing to be caffeinated might’ve been a little bit of a fuckin’ mistake!” 

Gilly snorted with laughter, shaking his head. “Dude, I told you to get decaf.” 

“Can’t ever do that, fuckin’ decaf is bullshit! I’ll be fine, they gotta pool here and I brought my swimsuit. I’ll go swim it off, do some lengths, get all the energy out, y’know?”  

Her very wide-eyed demeanour had them in soft fits, Lee’s hand shaking upon her beer glass, making her food order at a hundred miles an hour to the entertained looking waiter.  

“And I gotta deal with this all night.” Gilly laughed, receiving an elbow from the hopped-up lady herself. She seemed to calm a little for eating, a firm but polite no given when the waiter asked them if they wanted coffee once they’d finished, calling it an evening at 10pm. Well, Lee and Gilly stayed up to see if Vincent returned back at a decent hour, but Emma and Guero headed straight back to their room. 

Opening the door for her, he gestured that she should enter first. “There, you get me being a gentleman just once, before I turn straight animal.” He smacked her ass, kicking the door shut, Emma removing her boots and socks. 

“Love, you’re always straight animal,” she purred, winking at him. He snaked his arms around her, moving her hair, softly biting the side of her neck with a playful growl. Those nibbles turned to kisses, hands pawing at her. Grasping his hoodie, she pulled it over his head, her nails gently raking down his chest as his mouth met hers, manoeuvring to the bed, pushing him onto it.  

“I have to take this off, my head is like a furnace.” Pulling off the wig, she unclipped her hair and let it tumble loose, messy waves framing her face, Guero sitting up to watch keenly as she began to lower her dress. The way his eyebrows rose significantly at the reveal of her black, diamond mesh underwear tugged at the corners of her mouth. 

“Wow. Get the fuck on me, right now.”  

Ahh, the desired effect.  

“Is that what you want, hmm?” 

His eyes swept her with desire, his cock beginning to harden at just the sight of her, nodding in response to her words. 

“Yeah, I know what you want,” she spoke, coming to sit astride him, pushing her fingers into his mouth, her nipples hard against his chest through the thin mesh of her bra. “You want to pin me down and fuck my tight little pussy until I gush all over your cock, don’t you? Mmm, I love it when you get me so wet that it starts running over my thighs, when you hold me down and pound me so hard, I get dizzy. Yeah, I love it like that.” She ran her tongue up the side of his neck, her hips beginning to gyrate, grinding herself against the big erection she felt tenting his jeans.  

He groaned barbarously around the suck upon her fingers, his teeth clamping in a hard bite, Emma pulling them from between his gorgeous lips before her mouth locked to his. Their kisses rained sensuality and steamy heat, Guero lying back on the bed, the feel of pristine hotel linens sumptuous against his bare back, hands travelling all over her as he moaned against her tongue.  

If there was a sweeter way to kill time, he was yet to experience it.  

Moving beneath her, his body topped hers, pressing her into the bed as his hands slid to make short work of her underwear, sitting up only to shed the remainder of his clothes before his mouth was on hers once more. He kissed her with all the love and heated desire he felt for her, hand trailing down her thigh as he shifted his weight a little, fingers skimming over the sumptuously dewy petals of her cunt. 

That first touch had her arching off the bed, her back bending like a crescent moon, her moan rich and full bodied, his thick, clever fingers spreading her wetness around, settling upon her clit and beginning to circle. His touch was so perfect, Emma mewling softly as she felt her core ache, his breaths heavy against her neck as he moved to kiss her elegant throat, a soft groan rumbling his as he pushed two fingers into her.   

“Oh god, you’re so fucking wet for me already.” He rumbled, his mouth finding hers, kissing her with all the heat of a furnace, those keen fingers seeking out her sweet spots. Focused rotations forced soft little exclamations from her, Guero drinking them down like wine as his lips locked with hers. “Yeah, that feel good, baby?” 

She couldn’t even form words, delight tumbling through her, merely uttering a soft little moan as her head fell back on the bed, his fingers entering, rotating, dragging back, moving his thumb to her clit to stroke it in perfect rhythm. It always boosted his ego a little, seeing how easily he could make her sail into bliss with just two fingers. 

It didn’t take long for him to kiss a sizzling path down her body, his mouth craving to be quenched with what drenched his fingers, removing them, sucking her wetness from them with a hungry grunt. He pushed her legs wider so she splayed for him, delving his tongue right into her folds, the syrupy wet of her pussy drenching his mouth.   

His tongue dragged her eagerly, long licks from her glossy opening to her clit making her very bones shudder in ecstasy, Guero groaning, watching her body undulate before him. The rolling heat of his tongue pressed flat as it circled her clit, sending waves of bliss through her, her little whimpers filling the air, his hands gripped at her waist as he felt her puddling against his tongue.  

She looked down, watching him do it, gasping, her fingers raking through his hair. “You look so fucking hot with a mouthful of my pussy.” 

He grinned against her, sucking on her clit. “And you look the same while you’re getting it ate, mamas.” He winked, closing his eyes, groaning as he took a mouthful of her, loving the feeling of her thighs skimming against his face as she writhed. 

He sucked upon her like ripe fruit, his groans deep, like boulders rolling over one another, the heat radiating up her spine as she panted, watching him tipping her further into mindlessness before her eyes closed and her head fell back. The flickers of the very tip of his tongue working in speed over her clit were too much, but not enough, her body shaking in response of being so lit up. It felt like an ice storm meeting magma, her body gleaming for him, Guero pushing his fingers back within her heat, burrowing deep. 

Placing a suck upon her clit, his cheeks hollowed, the pressure gentle at first, fingers circling her walls, entering her then with rapidity, that suck intensifying until he had her crying out softly. His hunger to devour had him tearing his fingers from her, covering her entire slit in the thirsty suck of his mouth, grunting against her folds as his tongue laved her incessantly.   

Reaching for his jeans, he undid them, sliding them and his boxers down, kicking himself out of them with impatience, the need to be within her rocketing through him. His heart thundered in his chest as anticipation skittered over him, kissing his way back to her mouth, lips meeting hers in a hot mesh of filthy indulgence, his words matching.   

“Wanna spread those gorgeous legs and let me fuck you, huh? Is that what you want, for me to bury my big dick right up deep in this pretty little pussy, huh blue eyes?” Those words fuelled the epicentre of her bonfire, Emma nodding, their kisses scorching as he moved between her legs and glided into her, her walls tensing on his shaft, dragging a groan from the depths of him. He sat back on his heels, taking root in her, his eyes watching the sight of it, his cock sinking in and out, her wetness bathing him thickly. 

He fell to her then, the blinding need to chase the fire roaring through his veins consuming him, his flames catching at her edges as she wrapped her legs around him, their mouths meeting messily.   

“Oh god,” she gasped, clasping his face, seduced further by the look of dark lust pooling his near black eyes. “Fuck me, yeah, that’s it. Oh, fuck me!”   

And he did, pounding into her relentlessly, hitting her so deep, shocks skittered through her. He slowed then, wanting to make it last longer than the rampant charge his arousal was dictating, pulling himself back, thrusting a little shallower, almost retreating, slipping back deeply. His head dipped, sucking her nipples in turn, tongue circling them with a hungry grunt, his hands stroking paths of blissful heat up and down her thighs as his cock hit her deep, deep, deep.   

“Mmmm, fuck. You look so goddamn pretty, spread all around my dick. Got me so fucking drenched, beautiful.” he groaned, sitting back up again, the sight so steeped in erotic heat, he had to close his eyes for a moment, those tingles pulsing too rapidly, the desire to chase his release held fast, slowing, long lashes parting again as he stared down at her. “That feel good, huh?” 

“Oh, you’re fucking amazing!” she cried out, her body jolting when he brought his thumb to her clit, tight circles spreading glimmers through her, pleasure melting down her spine and puddling at her cunt, covering him further in her dew. She raised herself up on her elbows, her hips shunting against each of his thrusts, fucking him back with purpose as she let her gaze fall to watch it.  

He reached beneath her chin, making her focus on him, his forehead resting to hers as he stared at her with so much love, her heart felt full to burst. Stroking his face, she felt like she could see her entire future in the dark sparkle of his lust blown pupils, nuzzling him, whispering her love, sharing kisses steeped in sweet, yet burning heat.  

Her heart jolted suddenly with the weight of it, the realisation of exactly what she would lose if Vincent didn’t agree. He had to, because there was no way she would willingly or easily part from Guero now she’d finally found him. 

[evwritesgames]

Yaknow as a longtime itch.io lurker one thing that makes me sad is that there’s a lot of different takes on the same theme that don’t actually try to do anything new. Usually fantasy stuff. There are so so many fantasy packs that are nearly identical…

The art is fine and a lot of effort already, but it makes the assets not… stand out. Which is understandable! The point is to make something generic anyone can use! But it’s also a shame artistically because there’s little that’s unique to them, so they fade into the background easily… Plus if I need something specific I might have five packs to look through that just don’t do what I want, because they have the same take on the same theme, so I have 7 different Generic Unidentifiable Trees and Village House With Hay Roof but say no wooden cart an ox could pull. (I genuinely don’t remember seeing that as an asset before…)

Say, let’s continue on fantasy packs. I can name like one or two of them that I remember specifically because there was a variety of themes to them— going way beyond man with sword in European forest with some village and river tiles. That’s what makes me actually want to buy them! If there’s a variety in the type of characters and body types, or the kind of places you can lead your characters into (and I can repurpose this stuff even when it SOUNDS super specific! Don’t think I can’t! I grabbed underwater atlantis ruins and made it into an aquarium zoo with themed flooring… one time I made a greenhouse out of several recolored tilesets and the only thing I had to draw was glass tiles!)

I’m not here to complain. See if I want to do something unique, I CAN draw it myself… the thing is, my art is passable, but I don’t like drawing as much as coding so it’s not a great incentive. I’d rather grab something an actual artist made! Genuinely! That’s mutual benefit! So I’m not here to complain I’m just… kinda sad tbh!

When I go look at what’s new a lot of it doesn’t do anything to stand out! It’s just more trees and villages and oh this one has a slime enemy. Well. Like 2 out of 5 I saw in the past month. And they’re all blue. Rimuru come back here

Part of it is of course because I’ve been there a while, but you’d be surprised how some stuff is actually hard to find. A 16x16 4 directions dragon, for instance? I’ve only found one. Why’s no one drawing that when there’s so many 16x16 fantasy packs? (I think it’s because they’re hard to draw, which… fair. but there’s a niche there!)

One time years ago I went looking for a giant beehive environment for a part of a game I was making, and I could not for the life of me find anything, paid or not, so I drew it myself and put it out there. Recently, I noticed someone else did it too (much better than my own lol, more detail, cleaner art, they did a great job)

But like. There’s plenty of other themes that probably never see the light of day. Say, a flesh environment like you’re inside a monster, I’ve only seen a couple float by too, and at least one of them was precisely in a fantasy pack that went out its way to cover a dozen of themes. Most folks stop at the base fantasy stuff as a starting kit. There might be some here and there but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pack intended to be set in a real city, so you can’t really make a historical game without custom assets— wouldn’t there be a lot of games you could make if you could make it look like you’re strolling in Paris in particular? There’s plenty of photo references for this stuff, but people will mostly draw something generic instead (understandably! being too specific risks not selling!). There’s a lot of gaps when everyone does the same stuff over and over, especially if it’s in almost the same way they’ve seen before.

Coz that’s what happens when you try and be generic. You match the generally accepted feel. Look at the current state of anime, you could put half a dozen isekais in the same world and the characters wouldn’t notice anything changed. The tropes barely ever vary from how they’re established. Elves are thin, pale pretty blondes with light eyes and long ears (have you ever seen a fat elf in mainstream media??). Magic is cast with mana and if you go too hard you cough blood (no one remembers tuberculosis is the origin of this trope). Young nobles all go to a magical academy (this is such a funny parody of what europe was like that it’s completely detached from reality at this point).

I find this fascinating. Not bad. Really interesting in its own way. People end up concentrating on details to be creative about and it has its own value. But it does not help anyone be super creative in the broader settings. Even the sceneries are the same, and it ends up reflecting on what you find on itch— because stories that have already been made are what artists draw inspiration from, right? It’s a cycle.

(It’s a cycle in more ways than one, the other day I saw someone compile a bunch of webtoons that re-use the same 3d model of a castle to trace in their story, because they all used the same resources to draw…!)

So, I think going out your way to do something specific makes you stand out lately, if only because there’s so much generic stuff floating around. Specific themes in a huge pack ARE often the appeal. A city isn’t just streets and doors and windows. What about bus stops and railways? Shops with their big letters out front? Parks? And every one in the real world has its own quirks too. If you draw a specific train, it’ll feel homely to someone, and like a faded vacation for someone else. A train you draw as you think about what trains look like from movies and films, or referenced as a midway point between four others, will not evoke a particularly strong feeling, it’s just the idea of a train.

Oh wow this is getting away from me. Apologies. You don’t have to post all that. Let me get back on track.

Lately on itch I noticed one artist who’s been doing a fantasy pack BUT having a fun time doing less realistic colors, and see, that makes them stand out! I actually remember them! But that’s an exception. Most don’t do that. The grass is green, the sky is blue, and winter packs (when they exist) are all white snow over forests with frozen lakes.

From my personal experience the stand out criteria for asset packs are often sheer variety/volume (not super healthy for artists but I think that’s the biggest appeal, which encourages generic takes on stuff… since you want big numbers. Still huge respect for those who actually go through with it, it’s a ton of work, especially if they do take the time to explore themes!) or personal taste (can’t actually control your audience, but say, I’ll pick up characters if I think their faces look particularly cute over more crunched up ones).

TLDR I really respect all the artists on itch but I’m sad “generic” seems to be believed to be the way to go to sell something. I’m not even sure it’s actually true. It feels like christmas whenever I find something I’ve never seen before on itch! (ouch my wallet. yes i have an asset hoarding problem.)

All that to say: I really like your art! It stood out to me from how expressive and diverse it feels! I’ll be looking at your future works~ Sorry about the ramble hahaha I spent like… an hour more on this than I intended o-O No need to post it if you don’t wanna…

Hey, don't worry about the length. I write long ass rambles, rants, and essays all the time. On letterbox'd you can see me write 10k words for movies 5 people saw. I appreciate a person who can speak at length about things and isn't afraid to follow sidebars and tangents and can and does circle back to the point effectively. Underrated skills.

This was really fascinating to read and could EASILY be reshaped into a convincing "state of the union" style essay about where things are at for this aspect of Itch. Itch does not receive much coverage the way other big internet things do, not that I know of. I have to admit though that I'm not in "the community" of itch very much. I have a weird disconnect where it's hard for me to see how and where to "join" stuff and I often find myself on the margins wondering why I can't get closer. I kinda hope the weird meta-discourse on things like Youtube never really happens to itch but if it did, I suspect reflective essays like yours here would be the higher quality material.

Anyways. It's nice to know that you appreciate what I try to do with my assets. You're bang on that "generic" seems to sell better but also comes with major caveats. I noticed there were almost no unofficial cyberpunk/scifi/future assets for RPG Maker and similar all the way back in 2001 when I first started playing with RM2K. It hasn't got much better since then and I suppose part of that may be a lack of standout, big deal indie games (particularly RPG maker games) that use these aesthetics. There is ALWAYS time for fantasy, even the generic Western Europe shit that you always see. There is also an entire subgenre of "Stardew-like" assets and games. I myself am making a take on the lifesim genre, The Hedge Wizard, but the art style is probably closer to Earthbound, Roots of Pacha, etc than to Stardew. You can see some of the material from that on my tumblr if you're keen.

My personal fantasy theme, The Nine Realms, on itch, is Norse inspired and does feature diverse characters for the exact reasons you highlight. I think the fantasy genre and JRPGs have a long history of racism, some of it very mild and some of it not at all. The kind of person who looks at my Nine Realms stuff and goes "black vikings? wtf" is a person I don't want anywhere near me or my work. They're not only factually incorrect assuming Europe was some kind of white fortress, but they're missing the point. I'm glad you get it because it means someone does. You may be interested to know that Nine Realms basically does not sell. I periodically work on it still because I have a big plan for it (including a take on elves I think you'll like) but it's a passion project. I think it would sell better if I was more holistic in my approach to what assets to include (one piece of advice I got was that it should include "farmsim" stuff and I see why but haven't been especially moved to get into that). In the very cynical and depressed part of my brain, I assume racism and "anti-woke" sentiment is part of the reason it doesn't sell too. I deliberately drew a line in the sand, a thing I do often on principle, and I can handle the consequences. Like you, I am often fascinated by these things, especially how tropes work.

At the end of the day, artists are on itch for different reasons. There's a small community of pixel artists who specifically do itch stuff and there's a split between those who buy into the hustle mindset, the personal brand, all that shit, and people who do not. I do not. I know it means I'm "less successful" but the far end of the more hustle-oriented artists are people who analyze Youtube metrics and exploit children for money (people don't like to admit or consider that the internet's demographics have fundamentally changed) creep me the fuck out and I won't be part of that.

Would love a link to the fantasy artist you mention. Always looking for people to follow on itch. I also tend to like unorthodox color choices. I played a game a while back that was basically a top down Soulslike made out of scribbles. Can't remember the title and google is of no help as usual. Haha. Anyway, that one was cool.

Last thing I'll say for now is that I do have something new coming, a new theme, that is all in b&w or grayscale. I've teased it a bit but let me know if you want the full pitch and I can lay it out. It's the thing called Retro Dead City. Might be a big enough hint right there. Haha.

Thank you for showing so much interest in me and my work. I really appreciate it and enjoy conversations like this.

[tobi-smp]

I’d like to add my two cents to the zombie wilbur designs, since we’re apparently talking about them again !

I think there’s a lot of interesting things that can be read into designs like these, Especially when they’re intentionally designed to Evoke something. and I Also think that people are well within their rights to like Or dislike these designs based on the symbolism that they get from them.

but my biggest problem with this discussion as a whole is that the loudest arguments about it seem to forget that for most people these are neutral traits. inhuman designs are nothing new in this fandom, and while there Are some inhuman designs that started as symbolism (like tubbo’s horns, which evolved past their original context) there are Plenty that are just there because they’re cool.

tommy is drawn as a little devil guy not because people want to dehumanize him or as commentary about his role in the narrative, it’s because it’s cute to depict a relatively mischievous but harmless character as a little devil guy. likewise, the zombie!wilbur designs started because somebody said “hey wilbur just came back from the dead, I Know What’d Look Cool,” and people responding “hey that Is cool” and taking it from there.

and this probably seems very obvious when it’s said like this, but I’ve seen quite a few people drawing comparisons between this design and vilification of c!wilbur in, say, pogtopia art. with the red eyes and slasher grin and all that. and to be fair, most of those things were Also done “because they look cool,” but they did still play a role in a rather unfortunate depiction of c!wilbur’s arc and mental illness at the time.

but the key difference is that these designs Are neutral, it’s only in combination with the red-eyed slasher grin depiction that it calls back to that vilification. and at this point that’s pretty much done. the weird villain arc baiting they did leading up to his revival has long been proven as, well, Exactly That. 

my Second penny is that if we get to have zombie wilbur and devil guy tommy then we should pick a character to be a vampire. I personally think the funniest option would be quackity (yes he is also still a duck hybrid, He Has Multitudes).

[stridingseer]

Throwing my brainrot/general notes for the two Krauser fights in the CN dub. It is, some really interesting material to dig into and I can’t stop thinking about it. Everything under the cut

First fight in Chapter 11 (start at 32:07): https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1rx4y1A7rX?p=11 Second fight in Chapter 14 (starts at 38:21): https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1rx4y1A7rX?p=14

FIRST FIGHT (Mines)

- Rookie is not directly brought over as instead Leon is known as a new soldier (xinbing) compared to Marvin's new guy (xinren). Which means it's NOT a double meaning word to drive the knife in further. If anything, calling him a new soldier is more or less just his title and how he's technically below Krauser station wise, completely different energy than 'rookie' which can be read as an insult. - Instead of calling Krauser by Major, Leon uses the much more respectful and admired 'shaoxiao' for rank. It is even more respect than simply calling him Major (his title) and in a way implies that Leon looks UP to Krauser. Gets compounded by the fact that Krauser calls him a little kid and only by 'rookie', he never gives an opportunity to be closer and highlights this difference in rank. - 1:1 translation of the ENG fight for the most part though it's neat to see how CN Krauser doesn't sound like he's scolding Leon when he says 'didn't I teach you that knives are faster?' it sounds more like an actual observation than anything in CN and really a request that Leon to USE that knife. He sounds like a teacher I had in chinese school when he's disappointed. - Instead of the 'major! you're not thinking straight!' we get 'major! is your brain broken?!' Also it's MIDWAY into the fight that Leon calls Krauser by his last name, prior to this it is only the title. Regardless of which title is being used, it's not until Leon is PUSHED that he uses Krauser's name (kinda like how you don't call a teacher by their name unless it's told to you or if you're close enough to know it. Strangely enough because of how rare Krauser's name shows up, it's as if the fight gets MORE personal once Leon says 'Krauser') prior to this point, Krauser is 'Major' and 'Major' only.  - Krauser instead of saying that what he taught Leon was 'a waste' implies instead that this entire match they just had? A waste of time. Like straight up, he just wasted his time on all of this and maybe on Leon too (which considering how Leon is the student is oof) - Everything else is a 1:1 of the ENG fight for the most part. Krauser does a LOT of scolding.  SECOND FIGHT (Ruins)

- When Krauser says 'you can't save her, you can't save Anyone', Leon does the rough equivalent of 'shut up/stop' rather than a strong 'give it up Krauser!' from English. Also worth noting is how Leon turns this around retorts with basically 'and this can't save your men!' Highlight on how they both focus on the word 'saving' in CN rather than ENG's choice to use 'bring your men BACK' (from the dead) - Also, from this point onwards, Leon uses Krauser's surname. Meanwhile Krauser maintains the colder standpoint of only using new soldier (rookie) to Leon which gives them some distance.  - what IS interesting is how Leon uses brothers (xiongdi) which basically implies that yeah, he knew them too. Also quite normal since they would be battle brothers in a sense. It's not 'men', it's people that Krauser specifically worked with as if it were going for something more distanced/colder, you would be using soldiers (bing) instead of xiongdi.  - Krauser, before letting out fire at Leon, isn't saying to move out and draw fire. instead it's to metaphorically become his torch from a direct translation. - Leon's 'if I'd be dead if I listened to people like you' becomes one of those cheeky lines instead of a comeback in ENG through sheer tone. If anything he just wants Krauser to stop talking and he wants to press some buttons. - Krauser's 'anything to make the pretty boy feel special' literally becomes 'I prepared this just for the little handsome boy!' which is like, christ.  Prior to this, Leon says ‘you did all this for me? you didn’t have to!’ rather than ‘well, you’ve really gone all out for me. you shouldn’t have!’  - Leon, of course (you can hear bits of Kaeya in there), chooses to snark about how the arm must be hurting so much and maybe Krauser should get a break. - Now small difference but Leon's 'oh that's your true power? Oh I'd ask for a refund' becomes about how HE would get a refund. He's straight up returning the ticket over Krauser's true power. - Wanting to see Leon writhe is now about him begging for mercy - Leon's 'the way you're going, there won't be anything to protect! You'd have known that once!' the latter sentence becomes 'you STILL know that!' which is oh boy, loaded. Krauser is still the same man despite everything that has changed to Leon and to Leon, this change still means nothing because to HIM, he's talking to the same man as the one that trained him/worked with him - Krauser's 'do.... what you have to do.' becomes 'you KNOW what to do' - FINAL 'I trained you well... Leon' is now 'I didn't teach you for nothing.. Leon' which is like BOY. Mind you their first fight implies that Krauser wasted his time training Leon and to have this be the bookend to that is... certainly a thing. Leon then agrees with Krauser's final statement about how 'you didn't teach me for nothing' 

[elizaditton]

Too Small To Be Afraid (Chapter 4)

Links:

Cover / Master Post / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

- - - - - - - - - -

I drag my pencil along my paper, trying my best to sketch out Captain Tristen's form. It feels good to be drawing again after all the work it took to move into the new apartment. There's nothing I'd rather be doing right now than drawing Stranded fan art.

A knock on my door catches my attention. I look up from my work to see Dad entering my room with a box tucked under his arm.

"What's that?" I ask, gesturing to the box.

"Just something you'll need for tomorrow," Dad says. "What's that?"

I race to cover my drawing of Captain Tristen with my hands, my face turning red. "Something that's not done yet," I say.

Dad chuckles, setting the box on my bed. 'Kaylin Finch' is scrawled across the side in permanent marker.

"But really," I protest. "What is that?"

"You'll just have to open it and find out," Dad says, giving the box a good pat. "I'll be in the other room if you need me." He heads for the door and exits before I get the chance to ask him anything else.

I put my sketchbook and my pencil aside to examine the box on my bed. Why would a box have my full name written on it? Could this be left over from the move? What could possibly be tomorrow that I'd need whatever is in this box for? And why was Dad so quick to leave me alone with this thing?

Peeking at the top of the box, I realize it isn't taped shut, and there are no mail markings. Where did Dad get this? I flip the top open and peer inside. A pair of loafers and a pair of tennis shoes sit atop two gray pieces of fabric. A smile creeps across my face and I let out a sigh of relief. Finally, I've got my uniform for the new school. I'd completely forgotten about orientation day happening tomorrow since we were so busy unpacking. I'm surprised Dad didn't forget, too.

I lift the shoes from their place in the box and examine one of the pieces of fabric underneath. Lifting it up and unfolding it, I find it's a pair of shorts. Must be for gym class. I set them aside and reach for the other piece of fabric in the box. I'm about to unfold what I'm certain is a skirt when the item underneath catches my eye.

Green?

I set the skirt aside. Ascend Human Academy's colors are blue and yellow. What could I possibly need that's green? Confused, I reach for the green fabric and lift it up. Unfolding it, I find it's a blazer.

A blazer?!

How could Dad have gotten the wrong color? Where'd this stuff come from, anyway?!

A golden patch to the right catches my eye. It's embroidered with a shiny, metallic thread. In the center of the patch is a blue circle, containing a set of three red triangles pointed downwards while a yellow circle floats atop each one. The symbol sort of resembles a flower. Or maybe people?

Below this icon is a single line of text embroidered over a faux folded ribbon.

'Pacific Deskmate High School.'

The blazer falls out of my shaking hands. A deskmate school?! There must be some kind of mistake!

I grab the blazer, jump off my bed, and race down the hall. I find Dad in the living room, sitting on the couch working with his laptop. He pushes up his glasses and looks up at me, smiling.

"So, did you open the box?" he asks.

"Dad," I say, holding up the blazer and pointing to the golden patch. "Why do I have a blazer for a deskmate school? I'm supposed to be going to Ascend, right?"

Dad frowns and turns away. He rests a hand on his chin and heaves a sigh.

"You see, Kaylin... there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

My insides do a somersault. This can't be happening!

Dad sets his laptop on the table and pats the spot on the couch next to him.

"Come on," he says. "Let's have a talk."

I stay in place for a moment before reluctantly moving towards the couch and plopping myself down in the spot next to Dad.

"I want you to know I've thought long and hard about this," Dad says, "and I ended up coming to the conclusion that stepping outside of your comfort zone and socializing with pertheans at school will be better for you than staying in an all-human school. The only reason I didn't want to pull you from your school before was because I knew that's where all your friends were going."

I cross my arms. All the friends I had at school either moved away from Maedri or transferred to other schools before stage four. I'm not gonna lie, making friends at a school like West Maedri Human Academy was pretty hard. At best, I made a few acquaintances, but most of the people there were snobs. Either way, up until this move, saying I have friends at school has been my one excuse to not be transferred to a public school where they start teaching humans and pertheans in the same classrooms in stage two. But a deskmate school? This is a thousand times worse!

Dad continues, "I regret not letting you have the opportunity to socialize with pertheans as often as you could have if you had just kept going to public school like you did in stage two. I believe I've actually done you a disservice, and for that, I'm sorry."

"A disservice?"

"Yes," Dad says, scooting a little closer. "Look at what not being around pertheans has done to you. You won't look at them, talk to them, or even stand anywhere near them."

"That's because—!"

"I know it's because you're afraid," Dad interrupts, "but your coping strategies are not helping, nor are they working for you. Don't you wish you could just get along with pertheans?"

I look to the floor. I suppose life would be easier if I could 'get along with pertheans,' but it would also be easier if everyone was the same size so we wouldn't have to worry about these things. Then everyone could live above ground together safely.

"I guess," I sigh. "But how is forcing myself to live in fear every day supposed to help me to get over it?"

"I know you're not going to 'get over it' that easily," Dad says. "But I do believe that with exposure and with time, things can get better. Don't you remember anything Mrs. Cherie taught you?"

"Mrs. Cherie?" I ask. Now that's a name I haven't heard in years.

"Mrs. Cherie! Your therapist after—"

"I remember Mrs. Cherie," I interrupt. "But I was too little to remember anything useful from those sessions. All I remember is playing board games."

"Well, then maybe you're due for another round of therapy." Dad puts an arm around my shoulder. "Kaylin, I wouldn't send you to this school if I didn't think it would be good for you. I'm sorry I lied to you about going to Ascend and transferring for work, but I really believe this is what's best for you and that it's going to help you."

I turn to Dad, eyes wide. "What do you mean you lied about transferring for work?"

Dad laughs nervously. "About that..."

"I thought your boss wanted you to transfer here because Chancelor is your hometown," I search his eyes for answers as the pieces start to come together in my mind.

Dad gazes out an artificial window we finally managed to get working this morning. He takes a deep breath, looks to the floor, and then looks back at me.

"I've wanted for you to go to a deskmate school for a long time now, but there weren't any nearby. So, as soon as the company started operating around Chancelor, I put in a request for a transfer."

"So that I could go to a deskmate school?" I ask, my brows twitching.

"Yeah," Dad says. "Although it's not just any deskmate school. This is the one I went to when I was your age," he smiles. "And my deskmate ended up becoming one of the co-principals."

Oh, great! Just what I need, an old friend of my dad's who might know about my fear as one of my new co-principals. What if word gets around that I have a fear? What will I do then?

"Kaylin," Dad says, "just trust me. You'll see this will be good for you. You're in good hands at Pacific."

"I don't want to be in anyone's hands," I protest.

"You know what I mean," Dad says, patting my shoulder.

My fists clench tightly. I stand up, clutching my new blazer, and walk back to my room, leaving Dad alone on the couch.