#at your worst

[haikyuuwaifu]

5.

Genre: Humor

Warnings: Alcohol Consumption, Swearing

MASTERLIST

I’ll always be here for you

Katsuki watched from the sidelines, taking a sip out of his mug. Somehow, he’d managed to let both shitty Deku AND Y/N convince him, that he needed to be at this party. Parties weren’t really Katsuki’s style, but he never seemed to turn them down if Y/n was the one that asked. Speaking of Y/n, Katsuki snickered into his mug, as he watched her throw out a dance move, challenging his best friend. Izuku responded in kind, launching a dance-off for the ages, filled with the worst moves Katsuki had ever seen. 

Minutes later, Y/n cheered in victory, Katuski chuckling as she made her way over. “Did ya see me!” She shouted, gripping his arm in excitement. “I did sweetheart, you’re a terrible dancer.” He grunted, grinning down at her. She only shrugged, reaching out to take the rest of his drink. “It’s more about making you laugh than being good at it.” She supplied shooting him a wink. Katsuki’s eyes flitted across the room, widening as he watched his best friend make his way out of the room. Y/n followed his eyes, grinning over at him. “He finally told Chaco how he felt, unfortunately he doesn’t have the right parts. It’s fine though, Shoto’s been trying to get his attention for months.” Y/n supplied as Katsuki sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Don’t even worry!” Y/n stated, grabbing his hand. “Come dance with me!” Katsuki could only follow, a smile on his face.

Hours later found the two friends stumbling toward their shared dorm, arms linked together. Y/n was still drunk, but Katsuki had sobered up, not having drank much to begin with. The woman beside him was wearing his jacket, looking like a drowned rat. She was humming a song, the lyrics all wrong, but she found she didn’t care. “Do you ever think about what it would be like if we’d never been roomed together?” She slurred looking over at her best friend. Katsuki only grunted, as they continued moving.

“My life before you, was an absolute shitshow.” Katsuki supplied, as the streets remained quiet. “If it wasn’t for Deku, and his gang of idiots...I don’t even know if I’d be here today.” He mumbled, as Y/n blinked over owlishly. “I don’t think about life without you, because I don’t ever want a life where you’re not there.” At his declaration, Y/n gave him a toothy smile and hugged his arm tight. “I’ll always be here for you silly, you know that.” She whispered, missing the way the blonde’s face flushed. “I’ll be here so often you’ll be sick of me.” She promised, as the blonde simply laughed. “I don’t think I could ever get sick of you.”

Prev/Next

[cinderellasfairy]

"I taught myself to cry on cue I close my eyes and think of you" - Madison Beer

[emoticonheart]

What would happen if the normal burpers like Rick “IckyRicky”, Ashley Fox, Princess Addison Bloomington, Sierra Watson, Conner Eve, Carmen Lopez, Zoe Papadopoulos, King Ian, King Rupert, King Hunter, and The Faren twins, and the hyper belchers like Robin O’Connery, Arrach, Thalia Orog, Nareg Orog, Darion Orog, Princess Adalaide, and Abigail Longfoot switched how powerful their belches would be with one another?

ooh this is an interesting question!! however, for everyone's sake, i'm only gonna talk about some of these characters. but if i skipped someone and you REALLY would like to know what my answer is, feel free to send in another ask!!

first the hyperbelchers:

robin: that would mean she was never cursed, so she would live a normal life (well, still not PERFECTLY normal, but more normal). and i don't think she would ever truly love burping like she does now. in fact, she'd be pretty polite about them, always muffling them so that no one can hear them. she wouldn't judge others for burping around her, since she knows that's something our bodies have to do sometimes, but she wouldn't let loose like that herself. so yeah her personality would be fairly different

thalia: similar to robin, her personality would be different, but unlike robin, her personality would be COMPLETELY different. i mean, think about it: thalia burps are not only powerful, but CONSTANT. she can't go five seconds without burping at least once. so she had to isolate herself for everyone's safety. but if she was never a danger she would've been SO different because she'd be allowed to socialize and such. she'd be captain of just about every sport her schools had to offer, and she'd be the kind of athlete that everyone aspires to be. like you can't convince me she wouldn't be well on her way to the olympics if it weren't for her condition. not only that, but her attitude towards her burps would be so different. like a stereotypical tomboy-ish athlete, she'd be proud of her burps, constantly getting into contests with the other girls (and even boys) on her team. even if she wasn't the best, she'd just be having a good time letting loose. man, in an alternate universe, thalia is a TOTALLY different person. who knew burps could change someone so much?

princess adalaide: super small things would change here and there (like the fact that she can't really use her burps to shut misogynistic men up), but other than that, she would be exactly the same. after all, hyperbelch or not, she only burps when she wants to.

abigail: well she would've saved herself a LOT of embarrassment at that frat party, i'll tell you that much. but other than that... i'm not sure yet. i'm still trying to figure out how her burps work. maybe i'll come back to thjs ask when i have a better idea!!

now the normal belchers:

princess addison: that castle would never know peace. her parents would do everything in her power to make her stop, but she'd just be having too much fun causing chaos. those poor servants...

ashley: poor ashley :(((. if her family hates her now, imagine how much they'd hate her if she could burp powerfully enough to cause earthquakes and shatter glass EVERY TIME. in fact, they'd probably kick her out before she turned 18. and if that were the case, being homeless before graduating high school, would she even meet lily? and fff? man i don't even wanna think about it. let's just say that her self hatred would run so much deeper than it does now.

sierra: now, as much as sierra loves burping, she's not a COMPLETE menace. if her burps could cause actual destruction, she'd make sure not to do so in public. however, her ultimate life goal is to make chris' life hell, so all bets would be off as soon as she gets home. and if she had hyperbelches, chris' torture would know no end. sierra would use her powers to break chris' favorite things, keep him up all night, make him spill whatever he's eating/drinking all over himself by shaking the ground underneath him, etc. sierra would find new and creative ways to make chris' life hell, and no matter what he or her mom would try to do to make her stop, they'd ultimately be powerless, because how can they fight against something like that?

conner: MY POOR BABY CONNER. for starters, he would simply have to kiss his opera dreams goodbye, because one slip up onstage could be catastrophic. but also, he would never be able to go out in public without feeling a massive amount of anxiety. after all, one burp from sierra, and he could knock over an entire shelf of food at the grocery store or cause a car crash as he's walking down the street. he'd avoid being outside as much as possible just to make sure he keeps everyone safe. he's so caring <3

carmen: she'd simply die. she'd never leave her room. unless it was one of her insanely loud burps, you'd never hear from her again.

zoe: well she can only burp when carmen's feeling burpy, but she personally would LOVE being able to hyperbelch. she'd never tell carmen that though.

[ameerah95]

Loved you at your worst, But that didn't matter.

[elisiassideb1tch]

♡ My Fav Madison Beer lines from 'Silence Between Songs' ♡ :

• "Just close your eyes, I know you're so tired" / "Just kids, you and I. I know it's hard sometimes, but you'll be alright. We'll be alright."

- Ryder

• "Is it too late now, to slow down?" / "All my life, I've never had the chance to stop and smell the flowers" / "No memories, like black and white TV. And everybody says it'll be okay, like life is just a game, but I don't wanna play."

- 17

• "I pop a pill to try to numb the pain, when it's just me and my brain. / I can't be alone with my thoughts when the music's off. I can't turn them down, tune them out, don't know how."

- Silence Between Songs

• "And sometimes I still hate myself, the way you made me hate myself. It hurts to know I hurt the ones who love me at my worst. I'm sorry I don't trust myself, enough to trust somebody else."

- At Your Worst

• "Say you hate me, it's okay boy you're not the only one. / Another year, we're still here."

- Home To Another

• "I'm stuck at the beginning, and I'm in pain" / "I woke up, fell back to sleep,'cause I'd rather live in my dreams" / "The world has stopped spinnin', the lights are all dimmin'."

- Spinnin'

Divider Credits: @benkeibear

I've been meaning to post this the week the album came out 😭- it's been in my drafts forever lol

[lyrics-planet]

I close my eyes and think of you It's not that hard for me to do 'Cause everythin' leads back to you

Madison Beer, At Your Worst

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[oars]

[hecckyeah]

if this post gets 10 thousand notes before the end of February 2024, I'll finally finish writing my very first book and send it to a publisher by the end of this year

[lastoneout]

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet

[lungthief]

listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.

like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been

[unpretty]

from time immemorial in cultures all over the world, storytellers have asked: what if there was a guy who kicked major ass? what if he kicked so much ass, every time someone stepped to him, he found even cooler ways to kick ass?

[emoticonheart]

Do you have any burping headcanons for your newer original characters? Like, what their belches sound or smell like, how frequently each person burps, what their reactions to their own and others’ belches are, and who is the horniest for being burped on, if any?

Carmen Lopez and Zoe Papadopoulos, from At Your Worst.

Princess Adalaide, King Ian, King Rupert, and King Hunter, from Courtesy and Poise.

Nareg Orog and Darion Orog, from Impressions.

Abigail Longfoot and The Faren twins, from Crashing the Party.

You may also give more burping headcanons for your older characters again.

Robin O’Connery and Arrach from Stolen Crown.

Princess Addison Bloomington from What You Find Along the Way.

Sierra Watson and Conner Eve, from The Universe Chose You, so I Will Too.

Rick “IckyRicky”, Ashley “Flexsteel” Fox, and Lily Alonto, from Flexsteel and IckyRicky.

Meira Yelren and Thalia Orog, from Impressions.

okay!! i'll answer what i can/what i'm comfortable with!!

carmen lopez (at your worst): carmen is an exception to my usual ocs because she's not usually burpy/gassy. she's very well mannered in that sense. the events in the story were very much an exception for her (and an embarrassing exception at that). but i mean when she does burp out loud (which is almost never. unless she physically can't, all her burps will be a muffled, closed mouth burp) it's not bad. she's definitely not exceptional at burping, especially compared to all my other ocs, but her burps certainly aren't weak either. but she'd rather die then let anyone know that.

zoe popadopoulos (at your worst): the events of the story were out of the norm for zoe too, but for completely different reasons. since she's an angel, she's not usually able to burp. like her body is perfected and therefore doesn't need to release excess air like that. the only reason she was so gassy that night was because she was taking some of the discomfort from carmen, which inevitably made her just as gassy as carmen. but unlike carmen, she actually really enjoyed herself. it wasn't often her body got to make all those sounds, so she was reveling in it while she could. in fact, there were times she had to physically cut off the burp she was letting out because she didn't want carmen to get suspicious of how long they were getting. but if it were up to carmen though, she would've let those burps keep going on and on and on and on and... you get it.

princess adalaide (courtesy and poise): adalaide is a princess, and she takes that position seriously. she was taught manners and poise from the moment she left the womb, and it is very important to her that she maintains that regal image. however, she was also born with an inate ability to belch with more force than should be possible for any human at all, let alone a human as small and fragile as her. however, unlike most, if not all, of my other ocs, she has complete control over her burps. she only burps when she wants to. and she usually never does. after all, princesses don't burp. it's unbecoming! but in some very rare instances, her abilities are necessary. and trust me, her burps leave an impression every time.

king ian, king rupert & king hunter (courtesy and poise): big, burly, and immature men with big, burly, and immature burps. they can only burp after eating/drinking something, so their burps are usually very wet and gurgly.

nareg orog (impressions): while she's nowhere near thalia's level of... everything involving burps, she's definitely a talented burper herself. as an ogre, it's just in their biology to let loose with burps that shake the earth, and she's not shy about it either! in fact, one of the orog family's traditions is a mother-daughter burping contest at the end of every meal. every meal. narag's burps are especially chunky, like pebbles are rattling around in her stomach. it's one of the things she's most proud of, since it makes her burps so unique!

darion orog (impressions): darion wasn't much of a burper until he met narag. darion was head over heels for narag the moment he laid eyes on her, and her constant burping didn't change it one bit. in fact, he found himself burping more and more as a way to impress her. while he doesn't go around burping all the time like his wife and daughter, when he does let one out, he does so without shame. the thing that makes darion's burps so unique is how deep they are. being part giant, it just kinda came with the territory. but yeah i cannot emphasize how deep his burps are. no one in my lineup of ocs can come even close to his bass.

abigail longfoot (crashing the party): i'm not gonna lie i'm still trying to come up with an explanation as to why she was able to burp the way she did that night. i will say though that like carmen, this was definitely out of the ordinary for her. she had never burped like that before, and i'm still trying to decide if she'll be able to do it again. so... maybe i'll get back to you on this.

the faren twins (crashing the party): they're average burpers themselves at best but they don't mind. they're much more interested in hearing others burp anyway...

hope this answered your question!! if it didn't please lmk and i'll try again!! thanks!!

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.