#backgrou

[pellinni-photo]

snow covered fields of carpathian rural area. trees on the hill in bright afternoon light. mountain ridge in the distance - snow covered fields of carpathian rural area. trees on the hill in bright afternoon light. mountain ridge in the distance

[aurantiumred]

*slams fists on table dramatically which makes a singular pen roll off*

what animals are they. speedrun time.

percy: golden retriever but he tries to act like he's cool and protective and tough as a meme so he occasionally tries to broodily stand around and fails miserably and always ends up bursting into maniacal laughter.

annabeth: very angry tortoiseshell rescue cat. will swat at you but also will loom over your shoulder while you work and purr occasionally.

jason: a shelter dog of some kind. probably a golden retriever or a wolfdog. sighs pathetically at random. but also could be the cutest most affectionate pitbull named daisy fluff or something ever. i have referenced this before, yes. do i care? no.

leo: an orange cat but specifically the kind that you find with their head stuck in a lampshade while screaming. you don't own a lamp with a removable shade. where did he get that. constantly running around and yowling. zoomies but cat edition. would stare you in the eyes as he knocks over a lit candle.

piper: very majestic brown tabby foresty cat. looks like she would have a great time in the wilderness with moss and trees to climb.

hazel: i cannot see any universe in which she's not a horse but if we're sticking to dog/cat, loving little indoor/outdoor tuxedo cat that occasionally brings you polite, pretty gifts like leaves and rocks.

frank: burmese mountain dog or a great dane that keeps hiding behind you when the tiny 12 pound chihuahua in the corner barks at him.

nico: black shelter cat that occasionally sits by your feet. do not try to pet. will bite you in warning. brings you mice and the bodies of random animals. you're not quite sure if he killed them himself or not. bats pens off of your desk and lays near your laptop because its warm.

reyna: doberman doberman doberman!!! probably a retired military dog of some kind.

will: orange cat but specifically an incredibly cuddly one that keeps shoving himself into your legs and sitting by your feet waiting for attention. the kind that licks you and lays nearby whenever you get sick or injured or something. kills spiders for you if you're scared of them.

[suddenly-stickmin]

Younger Albert and Clement to start tha day

[brambleflowerz]

dickjoey!!! they r scheming…

[dailydegurechaff]

Today's Daily Degurechaff is… Huevember 2023 - Day 28

[maryanntheconqueror]

I am sitting. at my desk. in an upstairs bedroom. and I'm hardly making any noise.

And my brain is SCREAMING THE MOST INCOMPREHENSIBLE THINGS KNOWN TO MANKIND.

[direpunk]

i call this one "pretentious student film director photoshoot- wait, who's that guy in the backgrou- COUGH COUGH AAHHHHH ААААААНААНАНННННННННН COUGH COUGH COUGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

closeups, alt colors, just ink + sketch under cut :)

[loversbones]

does anyone have any tips on drawing like ummmmm abstract backgrounds or whatever theyre called. i can only find tutorials for landscapes and stuff but what i want for this one specific drawing is one of those backgrounds with like the circles. does this make sense idk how to explain them,, the simple backgrounds... i cant wrap my head around them

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Going to add to this that Satsuki is standing between Goshiki and Shio – conversation-wise he's acting as a bridge between the two but idk if that's the case in other contexts(i.e. Satsuki being the sole reason for those two to work together).

He has his back turns from Shikaba and Taira, and looks at Goshiki – could be at Torazo as well, but I'm pretty sure he's being ignored there alongside Kuran (and Reri). He may be disinterested in them. Alternatively and I think that's more accurate: he's standing at the center of them all. They're all forming a circle but him, and he's talking to all of them, he's trying to rally them all to him, or rather, to see who would rally themselves to him. And Goshiki and Shio are the two most likely too. (And they're the two sitting in chairs, and drinking whiskey too and—)

Taira is staring at Shio, for whatever reasons. He's directly looking at him, he literally has all his attention.

Torazo, unlike Reri, looks at them all from afar. Kuran is in a similar position but I'd say not quite. Shikaba has his eyes close as always but if – if — he can see, I'd say it'd be hard for him to see Torazo from where he is, he'd be way more focused on Satsuki-Goshiku-Shio (and coincidently, Kuran).

Shio, Satsuki and Goshiki are the only ones talking. Satsuki asks for change, Goshiki shows how that could do that, Shio says what it's for. They're also the only ones we see holding a whiskey glass.

Goshiki and Shio are sitting face to face on chairs. There's another one, empty, next to Goshiki (and presumably next to Shio, too) but Satsuki prefers to stand.

If there's a sibling other than Satsuki to work with Shio, it's Goshiki. If there's a sibling to use connections to have some sort of advantages, it's Goshiki. He sits across Shio, in such settings he mirrors Shio's position. And while Goshiki's sentence could've ended there, Shio completes it. There's something going on here.

Reiri is the one standing the furthest. She's sitting at the bar and listens to them, no doubts about that, but not only doesn't she partake in the conversation, she also has her back turned away from them. Like we saw during the funerals, she doesn't seem that interested in the family business unlike her brothers.

The others do the same but show they're listening, despite not participating. It's a bit hard to say for Shikaba, but if he's not listening (he doesn't seem to care much) I'm sure Taira would sum it up for him.

Kou is probably not here since he was Kuran's vice chief back then and the Ikebukuro branch babied him, refusing to see him as a person rather than just Botan's little brother they had to protect. If he was there, Wakui would've find a way to put him in the panel instead of off screen. Hibaru and Terasu are not there for obvious reasons.

Those seven are the only ones shown when Hibaru talks about the diamond bond. One reason could be that they're the one managing most of the family business but ehh we'll have to wait and see if that's the case. Here, Shio and Goshiki stand the farther away from each other. Don't know what it could mean tho. Despite Hibaru's talk it's pretty clear the diamond bond doesn't mean they're close.

[theweeowlart]

⭐️New⭐️

This little wren is reaching for the sky to sing loud to you 'Choose me! Choose me!' he sings. Cheeky little tyke. I was experimenting with an abstracted shape background here, instead of a traditional sky, what do you think? This new drawing has now been added to my Etsy shop…

[sofreddie]

More Than A Fan

Summary: The honeymoon phase has been bliss. When Y/N is exposed first-hand to their life, Dean worries that it will all change.

Characters: Dean Winchester/F!Reader, Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Castiel, Others

Warnings: First Person POV/POV Alternating, Fluff, Angst, TW: Blood, TW: Trauma/PTSD, TW: Violence, Cockwarming, Oral Sex (Male Receiving)

WC: 12,264

A/N: Sequel to Not Our First Fan. My brain kept going on this one, and I'm really happy with how it came out. Feedback is appreciated. : )

My Masterlist

Not Our First Fan

Sam POV

I had been away for nearly a week, but the hunt with Garth only took two days. I wasn’t rushing back, knowing my brother too well, and I wasn’t looking forward to hearing him and Y/N throughout the Bunker. Maybe they’d chill when I returned if I gave them some time.

And I felt I more than owed it to both of them. I had been a thorn in their sides and an ass, I know. I had my reasons, but I was wrong. I was willing to accept that - now at peace knowing Y/N wasn’t a threat - and instead focused on backing Dean up and supporting their relationship.

As I entered the Bunker, it was quiet. After putting my bags in my room, I could hear voices, and I followed the sounds until I entered the kitchen. Y/N and Dean were cooking and chatting with wide grins on both their faces. The scene was so domestic that my heart clenched. They seemed happy, and I was left even more aware of how utterly alone I felt.

“Hey, Sam,” Dean greeted me as I entered the kitchen. I faced him from the other side of the counter, Y/N’s back to me as she worked at the stove. “How was the hunt?”

“Milk run,” I responded, knowing he’d expect more after I'd been gone so long. “I spent some time with Garth, Bess, and the kids, and then I took my time driving back.”

I shrugged and smirked as my eyes slid to Y/N and then Dean. He grinned and nodded. I hadn’t seen him this happy and excited in ages. He seemed sober, too. I was glad he was happy and relaxed.

“Food’s ready,” Y/N announced, moving several dishes to the counter. “Dig in.”

“You eating with us?” I couldn’t help but ask, afraid she might hide from me now that I was back.

“Yeah,” she scoffed, making a plate and sitting at the table. “I’m famished.”

Dean laughed and flashed a smug grin before joining Y/N with his plate. I sat last, my plate full of heaps of food.

“Didn’t you eat all week?” Y/N teased, and my last bit of tension faded as I laughed and nodded.

“Yeah. But I’m spoiled with your food now.”

Dean hummed in agreement, and we dug in like our last meal. God, her food alone had me itching to get back. I felt more nourished and satisfied in just a few bites than I had all week.

“So, any plans for today?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?” Y/N’s surprise had me pausing and glancing between them.

“Yeah, I was going to tell you over breakfast. I thought we could go shopping. You’ve been talking about getting stuff for the kitchen and bathroom. Now that Sam’s here, we can all go.”

“Really? Awesome.” She pecked his lips and blushed as she glanced at me before hurrying to eat.

“That sounds fun.”

I wasn’t sure if it would be, but I supposed we all needed to dive into life together. It would be nice to make things more homey, and anything to help her cook the excellent food she gifted us would be great.

-

Dean POV

I wanted to surprise Y/N with a trip to get things for the Bunker. I knew she wanted to, and we had our ‘free forever’ card. Plus, I was hungry for more of the everyday domesticity she granted me.

I hadn’t expected Sam to stay gone so long, but I was grateful he gave us time to ourselves. I was even excited for Sam to come along on our shopping excursion. Maybe he’d finally decide to do something with his room. Things were awkward when he left, but Y/N and I worked through that. But the real test came with his return. I hoped we could be a family—the three of us—at least until Sam found a girlfriend.

The ride to the store was short but pleasant. Music was playing in the background, and the windows were down. Sam was in good spirits as he talked about some nerdy thing he had checked out. Y/N was in the backseat with a soft smile as she listened to Sam’s tales.

I’d yet to have her in Baby, and seeing her in the backseat gave me all sorts of ideas. I would’ve pulled over if Sam wasn’t there, but I also knew I was struggling to keep my hands off her, and she likely needed a break after the last week.

We’d been fucking, eating, and sleeping all week long, having deep or silly conversations along the way. I found I enjoyed her company and companionship as much as I enjoyed kissing and fucking her. It wasn’t the most acrobatic or wild, but it was by far the most passionate and intimate sex of my life.

I parked at the store and quickly got out, rushing to the back to open the door for Y/N and help her out. I pinned her against the door and kissed her soundly. She giggled, and I wrapped an arm around her waist as we walked to the store. Sam walked on her other side, sandwiching her between us. I smiled at him, and he nodded in return.

-

Y/N POV

I had been having the best week of my life with the man I loved—a man I admired, that I looked up to, and was a hero in my eyes. He didn’t reject me or make me leave when he learned of my love. He gave me a chance, and I ran with it.

My anxiety was climbing with each passing day. I knew Sam would return, and I worried about what would happen. Would he disapprove? Would Dean return to usual and chalk it up to a fling? I hoped not and tried to stay positive. I had been on cloud nine and was sure it wouldn’t last.

When Sam returned, I was tense, but it was alleviated over breakfast. Things felt almost normal again, except for the unexpected family trip. But as we drove Baby to the store, I enjoyed the brothers being themselves and tried to think of what I needed for the kitchen and bathroom. Maybe I could even snag a few things for my bedroom—not that I’d spent much time there this past week.

Dean pulled me out of the car and kissed me deeply as we approached the store. I was worried about Sam and that we were in public, but Dean didn’t. He wanted to kiss me, so he did. That made me swoon harder than anything else.

-

Sam POV

I was distracted by discreetly watching Dean and Y/N. I stayed close to whatever side of her Dean wasn’t holding. It was an unspoken understanding: to protect our own. I was so happy for them but still lonely for what they had.

Luckily, I was further distracted when we entered the kitchen section, feeling overwhelmed. But Y/N lit up like a kid on Christmas, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Dean was encouraging her as she hesitated over items.

“Y/N,” I smiled at her. “Get whatever you want. Hell, get all the things.”

I wanted to help, too, to connect with her like a friend and a sister. And if it meant more food…

“See?” Dean pecked her lips.

Then she was off, mostly talking to herself as she threw items into the cart. I snuck away to get another cart as we went to the bathroom section. Seeing what she was getting and why excited me. She was going to make the Bunker a home.

She wasn’t anything like Becky or any of the women Dean had been with. I liked her more than Lisa, even, which was saying something.

-

Dean POV

Seeing Y/N give in and shop freely made me happy and satisfied that I could do this for her, even if it was a scam card. But I had an ulterior motive when I planned this trip. I hoped to get her to pick out bedding for ‘our’ bed. I wanted her to move into my room. But with Sam here, I was extra nervous. I knew whatever I did—smooth or not—that he’d tease me.

“Hey, Sam?” I paused in the aisle. “Would you grab another cart?”

“Sure.”

I was glad he didn’t pry, but I took the chance to guide her to the bedding area. I knew Sam would be back soon.

“Y/N?” I stopped and turned to her. She smiled sweetly, and I swallowed my nerves. “I was thinking, you know, that maybe we could pick out some stuff for my bed and room, and you could move in there? With me?”

Man, I was nervous as fuck, rubbing the back of my neck and shuffling my feet as I stuttered over my words. It wasn’t like I was asking her to marry me, but it was a big step and another way to show her how I felt.

“I would love to if you’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m definitely sure,” I took her in my arms and kissed her, making her giggle. “Don’t wanna sleep without you.”

“Sap,” she teased, and I laughed as Sam returned with another cart.

“I guess I could get some stuff for my room,” Sam shrugged as he studied different items.

Y/N and I reviewed it, picking out different things for our room. It felt like a total chick-flick day, but I was high on it. I couldn’t wait to get her home, make up the bed with the soft and fluffy bedding, and then make love to her all night.

My hopes were dashed as we squeezed everything in Baby, though there was barely enough room in the back for Y/N, and the trunk barely closed. Intent on heading home to see through my plan, Sam spoke up and delayed my efforts.

“Why don’t we hit the diner before heading home?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Y/N agreed. “I’m hungry.”

Well, I couldn’t deny them. My brother and my girl. My family. I was parked in the diner lot in a flash, my stomach grumbling, making Sam laugh.

Sam dashed out of the car toward the diner, Y/N hot on his heels before I could catch up. He picked a booth and slid in next to Y/N, leaving me to sit on the opposite side of the table from them. Sam laughed as he saw the confusion and annoyance on my face.

“Nuh-uh,” he teased. “You sit next to her, and it’ll be nothing but wandering hands and kissing. I wanna eat, not puke.”

Y/N’s giggle surprised me, and I resigned myself to sitting alone and cursing Sam. The waitress took our orders, and Sam’s eye caught something in the diner. His eyes widened, his cheeks flushed, and I had to search out whatever made him react that way.

“Hi, Guys.”

I grinned at the sight of Eileen, a fellow hunter we’d worked with that Sam had a serious crush on. If she was in town, there must have been a hunt nearby. 

“Eileen, hey. Join us?”

She slid into the booth beside me and across from Sam. I couldn’t help but flash him a smug grin. If I couldn't sit next to my girl, he couldn’t sit next to his crush. After brief introductions between Y/N and Eileen, we dug into our food. 

-

I invited Eileen back to the Bunker, and she readily accepted. It had been a while since Sam and I had seen her. I knew Sam was smitten with her, and I had encouraged him to pursue her for a while. Her arrival at the diner seemed a perfect opportunity to finally get him to make a move.

But the best part was I’d get to spend more time with Y/N. And I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about Sam being a third-wheel. Or Y/N, for that matter. With Sam occupied, I’d have a little more time before I had to face that possibly awkward reality.

Eileen had her vehicle, and Sam said he’d ride back with her. I tried to contain my excitement, knowing Y/N would be beside me again.

As Sam walked away, I turned to Y/N with a grin, taking her hand and leading her to the car. I opened the passenger’s door and closed it behind her, jogging around the back to the driver’s side and quickly climbing in. Eileen honked as they drove away, and I waved them off.

“Ready to head home?” I asked Y/N with a lewd grin, conveying my thoughts as I started the car.

“Don’t we have to get everything inside and set up?”

I shrugged, but the items were not my priority at that moment. “I figured we’d go home, maybe have a nice shower, and then I could take you to bed.”

I ran my hand along her thigh and squeezed as I stole a kiss. Her soft moan made me want to take her right there. But I knew she had a point. If we got all of this in and set up, the shower and bed would be even better. And I could tease the hell out of her, winding her up. Damn, just the thought was starting to make me hard.

I leaned in to steal another kiss, but as I pulled back, she chased me, her hands running through the hair at the back of my head and pulling me back into her as she devoured my mouth. Fuck, it was so hot to know she wanted me as much as I wanted her.  

I bit at her lower lip, slipping my tongue inside her mouth. I was ready to take her right then and there. Just a quickie in the front seat to satiate the burning need until we could get home and I could give her more and more and more.

A knock at my window made her jump and had me groaning at the interruption. I turned my head to see a cop standing there with his bright-ass flashlight shining right into the window unnecessarily - it wasn’t even dark enough for the damn thing. I rolled down the window and gave my best smile, though I was thoroughly irritated.

“Evening Officer.”

He shined the light over me and then Y/N before looking back at me, “License and registration, please.”

I should have known making out in the parking lot of a busy diner would have gotten us caught, but I didn’t think about it or care. I was too focused on everything Y/N. I handed over the requested items, squeezing Y/N’s thigh to reassure her as the cop looked over everything.

“Can you step out of the car, Sir?”

That made me pause, but I wanted to finish this and get home. I stepped out of the car and closed the door behind me, walking toward the back of Baby with the cop.

“You know, it’s a crime to have a fake ID, Dean,” the cop said, his eyes flashing black. My heart sank, and I instantly went into fight mode.

-

Y/N POV

My eyes were glued to Dean as he followed the cop to the back of the car. Something didn’t feel right, something more than just odd protocol. When Dean began fighting with the cop, I knew something was wrong. I didn’t know what to do. I knew the smart thing was to let him handle it. I was way out of my depth here. But I couldn’t just sit by. 

What if this was the random thing that killed him?

Before I could decide to move, the passenger door opened, and I was roughly yanked out the door from behind. I was too distracted watching Dean to notice there was someone else. I screamed for Dean, and I heard him shout my name back to me, but I was too focused on my attacker. 

I twisted and bit and clawed and stomped until I was released and turned to face a set of black eyes occupying the body of a second officer. I knew how to fight, but a demon was another ballgame. He lunged for me, and I pushed him back, getting myself some distance and running for Dean's safety. 

As I got to the back of the car, I saw Dean had downed his opponent. But I was stopped short by the other demon grabbing my hair from behind and yanking me back. Dean ran towards us, but the demon hit him hard, sending him back and to the ground. 

Dean called to me, getting my attention and catching my eye before he tossed the angel blade towards me. I managed to grab it, surprising both Dean and myself. I ripped myself from the demon’s hold, which hurt like hell when my hair ripped out and turned to face him. My surprise was replaced by anger as the demon hit me hard. I recovered enough to lunge forward with all my strength and anger, feeling the blade sink into flesh. 

We both froze, seconds drawn out as I looked from the blade in my hand to his eyes, noting he seemed as shocked as I felt. His body flashed with orange light, and I gasped, my body trembling as the demon shook, the tremors transferred through our connection of the blade. The light went out, and he fell to the ground, the blood-soaked weapon still in my shaking hand.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the bloody and lifeless body at my feet. I felt something touch my hand and turned to see Dean gently trying to ease the blade that was dangling from my fingers. That’s when I noticed my hand was covered in blood. I felt frozen, numb, and in a daze as I locked onto the crimson liquid that trailed and dripped from my trembling hand.

I felt Dean wipe down my hand and help me into the car, but I couldn’t focus on anything. In the back of my mind, I knew I was experiencing some kind of shock, but I couldn’t shake myself from it. Dean was talking, but I couldn’t hear him. I was still shaking, and I knew that was most likely my adrenaline running high. 

I hoped it would stop soon because the shaking made it harder to control my thoughts. When the car's light changed, I was broken from my trance long enough to see that we were entering the long tunnel into the Bunker’s garage, which seemed foreboding.

I could feel it coming that I would break down soon. Cry or scream or just melt into a puddle of some sort. I probably had injuries I wasn’t even aware of. I just needed to get to the bathroom for a shower, and then I could take stock. I was out of the vehicle when Dean threw the car in park.

“Gonna hit the showers,” I mumbled as I rushed off to the bathroom, not wanting him to see me break down, to witness me so weak. 

I went straight to my room, gathered a change of clothes and towel, and marched to the bathroom. I knew the adrenaline was wearing off, and I’d crumble. It was imminent. I’d rather be clean and safe in my room behind closed doors before that happened.

I moved quickly, removing my shoes and pants before working on my shirt. I had to pause, suddenly aware of aches and possible injuries that I was too afraid to examine. I struggled again and again, trying to remove my shirt, and cried out at the pain.

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice reached my ears through the bathroom door. I leaned against the sink with a groan, giving up on my attempt to remove my shirt, standing there in only that and my panties and feeling like a failure for not even being able to undress myself. “You okay?”

I saw Dean enter the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him. His worried eyes rapidly examined me from head to toe.

“I can’t get my shirt off,” my voice wavered and whined more than I intended, my emotions starting to break through. “I…I think I’m hurt.”

“Let me see.” 

Dean’s deep voice was gentle and soothing as he approached me, his hands held out. I nodded, which seemed to give him the permission he sought. 

-

Dean POV

I watched as Y/N practically ran from the car into the Bunker. I hated that this had happened and that she was forced to defend herself. I knew she’d never faced something like this or had never had to kill anything before. A kill was never easy, especially the first one. I knew how that stayed with you and what she was likely going through. 

I called Sam and told him what had happened. Luckily, he was at the Bunker with Eileen and said they’d handle it and call Cas for assistance. I wanted to go and clean up with him, but he insisted that Y/N would need me. I knew he was right, but didn’t want to turn my back on the job. There was clean-up, and I wanted to know how they found us and what they wanted. 

This happened in the middle of our hometown and involved the police. If we couldn’t fix this, we’d likely have to go deep into hiding. But with Cas and Sam on the job, I knew they could handle things and would call if something went wrong.

With that situation addressed, at least for now, I knew I had to find Y/N. I could tell she was in shock, and I worried about her being alone right now. I eventually found her in the bathroom, her cries of pain alerting me to her location. I paused in front of the door, hearing her struggling inside.

“Y/N? You okay?”

I slowly opened the door, peeking inside and seeing her leaning against the sink. I closed the door behind me and walked towards her, scanning her body for any visible injuries.

“I can’t get my shirt off,” she complained, a tinge of pain in her voice. “I…I think I’m hurt.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. I wanted to rush to her but knew she would be jumpy after the ordeal. So, I strolled towards her with my hands out, like I’d do with a victim on a case. 

“Let me see.”

She nodded, and I felt relieved. I helped her remove her shirt, careful of any injuries she might have. As she stood before me in just her underwear, I put aside any inappropriate thoughts, focusing on the task at hand. She didn’t need me to be horny and wanting, she needed me to take care of her, and I was determined to do so. Whatever she needed. I knew this was my fault and could never make it up to her. Looking over her body, I didn’t see any cuts, but she was definitely bruised and possibly had broken ribs.

“Might be broken,” I said, gently prodding her side.

Castiel appeared before I could speak further, making Y/N jump and hide in my arms. I growled at the sudden and alarming situation and the pain it probably caused her.

“Sam called me,” Cas explained in a gentle tone, noting the distress of the situation.

Reaching out a hand, he laid it on Y/N’s head, alleviating all of her injuries - the physical ones, at least. She took a deep breath and relaxed in my arms, and I could tell the pain was gone. 

“I’m sorry for what happened,” Castiel spoke. “You were lucky you had each other, or it might have been worse.”

Cas disappeared before I could thank him.  I was grateful Sam had gotten a hold of him and that the angel had healed my girl. I couldn’t bear to see her in pain. 

She met my eyes, and for long moments, we stood, just gazing at each other. She tried to force a smile but only mustered a grimace, the dam holding back her emotional tide ready to burst. I knew the look, I knew the signs, I knew exactly what she was going through and how hard she was about to crash. All I could do was be there.

“I-I should s-shower,” she uttered suddenly, scuttling around me to head into one stall and turn on the water.

-

Y/N POV

I felt embarrassed, worthless, and weak. I couldn’t bear to look at Dean anymore, too afraid to see pity. It scared the hell out of me when Castiel suddenly appeared. I hated that I was so jumpy and naked and felt exposed in every way possible. I forced myself to leave Dean’s comforting hold, not feeling worthy of it.

Assuming he’d leave, I focused on the shower. Removing my panties, I went under the spray, focusing on the warm water's soothing feel; however, when I closed my eyes, flashes of the fight came straight to my mind, the blood coating my hand from the kill - my kill.

I had killed someone.

I tried to breathe deeply, but it only came in stutters. Balancing with one hand against the wall, I internally begged for my emotional walls to hold tight for just a bit longer.

Angry and unable to control my feelings, I grabbed my sponge harshly, lathering it up and roughly scrubbing my body. The images kept flashing through my mind, making me scrub harder and faster—as if I could wash them away before they manifested. But my mind focused on the memories. My hands switched to harshly scrubbing one arm and hand, then the other, the blood in my mind never washing away.

I couldn’t get clean.

The sobs broke forth then of their own volition, the dam collapsing as the adrenaline wore off. I dropped the sponge, my hands flying to cover my face as I began to sob hard. My knees weakened and wobbled, and I knew I would collapse, unable to hold myself up any longer. But the harsh smack of the tiles against my kneecaps never came.

Instead, warm and strong arms wrapped around me from behind, catching me as I fell and gently lowering me to the ground. I knew it was Dean, and the comfort of his arms made me feel like it was okay to fall to pieces. His arms stayed tightly wrapped around me as I sobbed with all I had, the spray of the shower raining down on my head and shoulders, washing away the snot and tears.

I didn’t know how long had passed before I finally calmed down, the water feeling lukewarm at best. It was then I became fully aware of the arms still securely wrapped around my midsection, holding me safe and keeping me warm while I fell apart.

I sat up, Dean behind me, and held me close in his lap. I only just noticed he was naked, too. I turned my head, looking over my shoulder, and found kind, warm green eyes shining at me with concern. Without a word, I stood, and he was there, ensuring my legs stayed under me. He turned me to face him and wiped the tears from my face.

Worn out, exhausted, and defeated, I let Dean silently bathe us both. He was quick and efficient, and I appreciated his attention to my hands, nails, and cuticles. I wanted to thank him, tell him I loved him, or say anything, but I couldn’t speak. I didn’t have the will or fight to do anything more than just be. 

When he finished, he turned off the water and wrapped a towel around me before guiding me to sit on one of the locker-room-style benches off the side. A moment later, he had a towel secured around his waist and silently sat next to me. I knew he was worried about me, and I needed to say something. But my mind was stuck in a loop.

-

Dean POV

“I killed someone,” she stated as she stared off at the far wall, her soft voice much louder in the tiled bathroom. She turned to look at me, the tears gathering in her eyes again, one single tear escaping and finding a path down her cheek and jaw. “...I-I killed someone.”

I didn’t know what to say. Instead, I wrapped my arms around her for comfort as she sobbed into my shoulder. I knew the feeling of having death and blood on your hands, feeling like it never goes away. I didn’t want that for her, but it had happened, and now we had to deal with the consequences. 

I wondered if this up-close glimpse into my life would make her change her mind and decide I wasn’t worth it. I wouldn’t blame her. If anything, I’d help her get as far away from me as possible. Especially if it meant she didn’t have to feel like this and didn't have to face the darkness of my world.

I helped her dress in the comfortable clothes she had brought to the bathroom. I hadn’t prepared, so I just held the towel around my waist with one hand as I guided her to our room with the other. She didn’t say a word as we entered the room. Instead, she moved to get comfortable in bed while I dressed in some boxers and a T-shirt. I was eager to get her into bed earlier, but this was farthest from what I had imagined. 

I reflected on Cas’s parting words: “You were lucky you had each other, or it might have been worse.”

Luckily, I was there to defend her. But damn unlucky for her to even know me and be put in situations like this. No matter how hard I tried, I knew I couldn’t protect her from everything. But it didn’t keep me from feeling like shit about it.

I climbed on the bed behind her as she lay on her side, wrapping my arms around her and holding her close like I did in the shower. Her breath stuttered, but she soon settled. I was more than okay with just giving her the comfort she needed. I couldn’t sleep, so I nuzzled into her and mildly rested while watching her fitful slumber.

-

Sam POV

When we got to the diner, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to mess with Dean. When I sat beside Y/N, Dean’s look of dismay was more than worth it. I didn’t want to watch them make out the whole time, but it was more about the chance to tease my big brother.

However, when I spotted Eileen in the diner, that all changed. I hadn’t seen her in a while, but I loved spending time with her. Dean had been on me for a long time about ‘manning up’ and asking her out. But I knew relationships and hunting didn’t go well together. 

We talked all the time, we hadn’t seen each other in a while. She was just as beautiful as the last time I saw her, if not more so. Seeing her now, in a Lebanon diner of all places, seemed like fate intervening - and I couldn’t be mad about it.

Eileen caught my eye and smiled, and I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I shifted in my seat as if that could calm them down. Dean quickly caught on, and the shit-eating grin on his face told me I was in for teasing. 

I was grateful Dean invited her to sit with us - even if I was now lamenting that she was sitting next to him and not me - and even more thankful when he invited her back to the Bunker. I wasn’t confident I would’ve been able to ask her without stumbling over my words and acting completely awkward. 

When Dean and Y/N went to the Impala and Eileen started toward her truck, I asked Eileen if I could ride with her, and she happily agreed. I used the excuse of the Impala being stuffed with shopping bags, but I just wanted a moment alone with her. When we got to the Bunker, I knew we’d all probably hang out, which was fine. I tried to use this ride - however short it may be - for a refreshing moment alone with her and away from my brother and Y/N.

Catching up on the ride, I learned Eileen had just finished a hunt nearby. It was too close for comfort, and I was worried that I hadn’t heard anything about it. I’d been a little preoccupied with my downtime interrogating our new housemate. 

“So, who’s the new girl?” Eileen asked with a smile.

I laughed, “Y/N. She’s Dean’s…well, I guess she’s his girlfriend.”

No one had put a label on anything, and it was fresh between them, but with the declarations and Dean moving her into his room, it was something serious and committed. I hoped it was, anyway. Despite my initial protests and disbelief, I really wanted that for Dean. As I glanced at Eileen in the driver’s seat, whisps of her hair blowing from the partially open window, I knew I wanted that, too.

“So Playboy Dean Winchester has a ball and chain.”

That was a really odd thing for her to say and very unlike the way Eileen usually spoke. 

“It’s just ‘cause he won’t let himself have it or believes he doesn’t deserve it,” I said, a little ashamed because I had made the very same assumptions.

As she parked in front of the Bunker and turned off the engine, I was met with a gentle smile.

“It’s good,” Eileen insisted. “More leverage.”

Before I could question it, her eyes flashed black, and she lunged at me in the front bench of her truck, pressing me back into the passenger’s door. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I had to subdue her and exorcise the demon. It was hard to maneuver in the confines of the truck cab, but I managed to push her against the driver’s door, pull the handle, and send her toppling backward out of the truck and onto the ground.

I hopped out of the truck and wrestled with the demon, pining them as I quickly recited the fifty words of Latin from memory. She fought, struggled, and threatened, but in the end, the demon was expelled, the black smoke leaving her body.

“Sam?” Eileen asked as she came to me, and I was relieved.

“You’re okay,” I reassured her, signing as I spoke. I had been learning since I met her, often practicing with her on video chat.

I led Eileen inside, leaving her in the map room as I fetched a few beers. I heard the echo of the Impala pulling into the Bunker’s garage, and I wondered what had taken Dean so long to get here. I handed her a beer, digging my phone from my pocket to call Dean and tell him what happened.

The phone rang before I could call. When I saw Dean’s name on the caller ID, my hunter instincts kicked into overdrive. 

“Dean?”

I listened as my brother told me of the encounter he and Y/N had just had. I was pissed; whoever they were had to have been watching us, waiting until we were separated.

“No, let me handle it,” I told Dean as he went on a tirade. “Yeah, I’ll call Cas. Y/N needs you right now.”

After ending the call, I let out a long breath, staring at the phone in my hands as I contemplated what had transpired.

“Sam?”

Eileen’s curious voice drew my attention. I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but she could see right through it. Her ability to read and understand me so easily was one of the things I enjoyed about her. 

“Dean and Y/N were attacked right after we left,” I explained. “They’re banged up but fine. Two dead cops were possessed, and there were a bunch of witnesses. It was late in the day in the middle of town.”

“The hunt I was on was demons,” Eileen explained, her hands rushing to sign as she explained. “I thought they were all gone, but when I left, one of them caught up to me. I didn’t even know I was possessed.”

I shook my head, hating that these things happened to us and those around us. Suddenly, Eileen wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight, and I returned the embrace, needing it more than I realized.

“It’s not your fault,” I insisted, reassuring her.

“I’ll help,” she offered, signing with her hands as she spoke. She knew there’d be no stopping me from taking action, even if it was her hunt. “Whatever you need, I got your back.”

I was so grateful she was there and offering her help. I’d need it, but I’d want her with me regardless. It sucked that I suddenly had to work, but at least I still got time with Eileen—the silver lining on an otherwise dark cloud.

“Alright. Let me call Cas, and I should probably change into Fed gear. We’ll have to figure out how to clean this up.”

-

I tried my best to focus on the job at hand but struggled. My mind kept drifting over what happened, what could have happened. The bodies were gone by the time we got there, police tape and ambulances in the lot we had just left not that long ago.

It took some time and charm, but I got the security footage, Eileen identified the witnesses, and Castiel discreetly erased their memories of the incident. While this took care of the immediate issue, we still had to deal with other people possibly recognizing us in town and from the diner, and we still had to find out why these demons attacked.

When we returned, Castiel promised to investigate the incident further and left. I could tell Eileen was deeply upset—not just about being possessed but also about possibly being a pawn who led the others to us. It wasn’t her fault, but Hunters tended to blame themselves for everything. I was frustrated that our lives always had to be so messed up.

I offered her a drink, but she declined, retreating to the guest room she used when she visited. I had to remind myself that she’d just come off a hunt, been possessed, and then helped to clean up in town; she had to be exhausted. 

I poured myself a half-full glass of whiskey as I sat in the library. Demons interrupting and messing with our lives wasn’t anything new to us. But Eileen had been targeted, and Y/N had to fight. It wasn’t just Dean and me under attack anymore.

Too lost in thought, I didn’t notice when Dean sat with me, a crystal glass in hand and the decanter on the table within reach—yeah, it looked like it’d be one of those nights.

“How’s Y/N?”

-

Dean POV

It took Y/N a while to get to sleep. Once she was, I felt it was okay to slip away. I didn’t want to leave her, but I desperately needed a drink. Or a whole bottle.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been helping Y/N, but I was surprised to see my brother at the table in the library, drinking under a lone desk lamp. He didn’t seem to notice me until I sat down and poured a heavy drink.

“How’s Y/N?”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, “In shock, I think. But asleep, for now.”

Sam nodded and finished off his drink before pouring another. I fetched a second bottle; it looked like we were gonna need it.

“Eileen was possessed on a demon hunt.”

“So she and those others showed up at the same time -”

“Eileen - the demon that was in her - was asking about Y/N; called her ‘leverage.’”

Fuck. Fuck!

This was precisely what I was afraid of happening. Of Y/N being targeted because of me and my damned life. I wouldn’t be surprised if she changed her mind and ran for the hills. Hell, I’d help her pack.

Sam explained to me what the three of them did to try and clean up the mess in our backyard. Were we gonna have to lay low in the Bunker until the heat died down? Just another reason for Y/N to hate me. I was ruining her life.

“I think maybe I can make some charms that might help. We’d still look like us but be unrecognizable.”

It wasn’t a bad idea. I was familiar with the type of magic and charm he was talking about. It might not be necessary and would hopefully only be needed for a short while, but it would be good to have, just in case.

Especially considering that whoever was behind this became my public enemy, numero uno.

“I’ll help with research, reading, and getting ingredients. Whatever you need.”

Sam took a deep, huffy breath, and I knew he was about to say something I wouldn’t like.

“You should take some time off to focus on Y/N. Me, Cas, and Eileen…we can handle this.”

“Our lives don’t allow for time off, Sam!” 

I was right; I didn’t like it at all. How could he expect me to sit on the sidelines when something threatened us? Threatened her?

“If you don’t want to stay, then we should bring her with us. You, me, her, and Eileen. We’d be safer in numbers.”

I didn’t know what to do. The hunter in me wanted to hunt, to track down these bastards and put them in their place. But the broken man in me - who already cared more deeply for Y/N than I was willing to admit - wanted to both push her away and pull her close to shield her from it all.

-

Y/N POV

I had successfully defended myself against a stronger opponent in a surprise attack. That was good.

I had - in a me or them situation - been the victor. I was alive, and they were dead, and I escaped with relatively minor injuries, which Castiel had healed. All of that was good.

I had helped Dean and removed one more demon from the world. That was good.

So why did I feel so bad?

When I woke, I was hit with waves of darkness and depression as I recalled every detail. My body felt heavy and numb as it settled over me. I had killed someone, taken a life, and it stained my mind and my hands.

It took me two days to get out of bed for more than the bathroom. Dean had insisted that I eat and shower. He was a worried mother hen, and I’d be annoyed if I could muster it. Instead, I shuffled on autopilot and trusted Dean to guide me.

The dark thoughts in my mind told me he just desperately wanted me out of his bed, locked away in my old room to mope in solitude. But I could see in his eyes, hear in his tone, and feel in his touch how much he cared. It made me wish I was okay, if only not to hurt him anymore.

I thought that forcing myself back into my domestic routine would help me get through this and move past it. After breakfast, I decided the dishes would be a good place to start, so I gathered the items from the table.

“You don’t have to,” Dean reached for me but pulled back when I shook my head.

“You cooked. I got it.” I tried to give him a small smile, and he let me continue my mission.

-

Dean POV

I was glad to see her out of bed and out of the room. She seemed so fragile since the incident. She’d been having nightmares, but I didn’t know if she wanted to talk about it. I didn’t like talking about mine.

I was relieved when she joined me for breakfast and surprised when she ate a decent amount. But then she tried to clean up.

“You don’t have to.”

I wanted to touch her, reassure her, and let her know I didn’t expect anything from her. But she pulled out of reach, and I tried not to pout.

“You cooked. I got it.”

I relented but kept an eye on her while she worked. While I was glad she seemed better, I knew she could return to bed or break down. She knew better than me what she needed - at least, I hoped she did -  so I would just make myself available to catch her if she stumbled.

Y/N seemed fine as she washed the dishes, head bowed and shoulders hunched. She wasn’t the bright, jovial person I was familiar with. Just a couple of days ago, we were practically honeymooning it, and now -

I heard the clatter of a dish breaking, followed by a hiss as Y/N’s whole body jumped and then tensed. I was up from my seat in a flash and at her side a split second later. There was a broken plate in the sink. She cradled her hand, which had a large and deep gash across the palm. Rivulets of blood dripped into the sink, mixing with the water and soap to swirl down the drain.

I grabbed a dish towel and tended to her hand, rinsing it quickly and turning off the water. It was deep, and I had to wrap the towel around her hand to stem the bleeding until I could call Cas or give her stitches. She had that same haunted shock from the incident.

-

Y/N POV

All I could see was red, my hands covered in blood again, my mind replaying the moment the angel blade sunk into flesh. I was in the memory and in the kitchen. I understood my hand was injured, but I couldn’t feel it.

“Y/N!”

I frowned when I realized Dean was shouting at me. His eyes were panicked. I wanted to be upset that he was yelling, but I knew he must be worried.

“Why are you yelling?”

“Baby,” he cupped my cheek, holding my gaze. “I said your name a bunch of times. You were somewhere else.”

“Oh.”

“I’m calling Cas.”

“What? No! Dean, you can’t call an angel whenever I get hurt.”

“Watch me,” Dean growled, and a moment later, Castiel appeared.

He didn’t need to be told, seeing my bleeding wound, the dish towel soaked in blood. He carefully removed the cloth and healed the gash, only a smear of blood left on my hand.

“Thank you, Cas,” Dean said, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

I was still reeling over the blood, the killing. I was embarrassed that I was so weak, fragile, and afraid. I was ashamed that I’d hurt myself - even if it was an accident - and that Dean was so worried - again - that he called Cas - again. 

I couldn’t look at either of them and turned to the sink to wash my hands. I scrubbed and scrubbed, but the blood seemed to smear and spread. I couldn’t get clean. I kept scrubbing until I felt cold and sore; still, the blood remained.

The tears burst forth on their own, and the sobs wracked my body so hard I couldn’t see my hands anymore. Only the red that seemed to stain everything.

I felt Dean move, then take my hands to lead them under the water. I only knew it was him when I saw the bright green of his eyes breaking through the tinge of crimson, like sunlight piercing through thick, dark clouds.

He gently and slowly cleaned my hands. He rubbed a cloth over the lines and creases and even focused on my nails and cuticles with careful precision and care. After drying my hands, I looked at them, and they were clean. When I looked back at Dean, all the red was gone, and I could see him clearly.

He looked exhausted and pained. There was light stubble on his jaw and dark circles around his eyes. My heart broke knowing it was my fault. Somehow, he was still incredibly beautiful despite his obvious suffering.

Dean had attentively cleaned invisible stains from my hands and was ready to punch and kill the ghosts and nightmares that haunted me. And now, he stood so quiet and patient, letting me inspect him.

I felt like I might cry, but instead, I cupped his cheek—the stubble pleasantly scratched against my palm—and kissed him with all my love and appreciation. He whimpered and then returned the sentiment, moving his lips with mine as his arms held me close.

I knew Dean cared, that he felt for me. But now I knew how deeply, and I hoped this wasn’t our last kiss. I hoped he wouldn’t do as I feared and send me away.

-

Dean POV

Once Cas had healed her, he left, and I was grateful because when she started washing her hands—so rough and abrupt—I knew she was about to fall to pieces. I had been there more times than I wanted to think about. My own hands were stained a deep red from the rivers of blood I’d spilled. So I did for her what I was always too proud to ask for.

I washed her hands for her. The actual blood that was present washed away quickly and easily. But the real blood wasn’t what she saw. I remembered how my hands looked in my mind and proceeded to cleanse. Once satisfied with her hands, I scraped out her nails and cuticles twice for good measure. With a final rinse, I massaged her hands under the water to give that feeling of a deep clean with elbow grease.

By the time I carefully dried her hands, her body was more relaxed, her tears stopped, and her breathing started to even out. She silently searched me, her gaze almost a featherlight touch. I didn’t know what she was looking for, but I left myself open for her to find it. Normally, I’d hide away, locking my thoughts and feelings so tightly that not even Sam knew.

But honesty was the cornerstone of our relationship. It started everything and carried us this far. It didn’t seem like the time to suddenly stop.

When she kissed me, I was surprised. It was so gentle and tender my heart skipped a beat, and I whimpered, but she didn’t seem to mind. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, almost like I could shelter her in my ribcage like a vital organ. That’s how this, and she, felt. 

I knew then I was a selfish bastard because I didn’t have the strength to be apart from her - to push her away or let her leave - because I was starved for everything she gave me, and she was slowly healing the cracks in my soul.

“Do you want to go back to bed?” I asked, seeing how tired she looked.

She nodded, and I led her by the hand to our room. I released her in the open doorway, remembering I wanted to change the sheets and put the new ones on.

“What are you doing?”

“Just wanna change the sheets,” I answered as I focused on my task. But her following words made me stop and look at her.

“I can go to my room if you want.”

She looked so defeated, so I rushed to her, holding her in my arms. “I don’t want that. I want us together, okay?”

She nodded, and I kissed her forehead before returning to the sheets. She came around the other side and started helping. As we finished laying the comforter on top, I knew I had a giant smile on my face.

“What are you grinning about?”

I shrugged, “Just the first time we made our bed, together, with our sheets.”

She smiled and chuckled lightly, and I felt like a kid who’d just discovered Christmas.

“Let me get us some clean PJs,” I offered, turning to the dresser. I was eager to take care of her and show her I could and wanted to - especially after her comment about her old room.

“Could -”

I stopped what I was doing and gave her my full attention, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, I walked over to her and rubbed her arms. When she finally spoke, she didn’t look at me.

“Could we maybe sleep naked? I just want to feel closer to you.”

“Of course,” I answered because, of course. I tucked my fingers under her chin and pulled her lips to mine. I didn’t want her ever to be afraid to ask me for anything.

She ran her hands under my shirt, pushing it up, and I pulled from her lips to yank the shirt over my head and toss it aside. Then I removed hers, and we continued until we were naked and kissing in a gentle embrace. Despite her breasts pressed against my chest, her ass in my hands, or my cock pinned between us, it wasn’t sexual but intimate in a way that was new to me.

We settled in bed under the sheets - which were of a higher quality and felt incredible against my bare and heated skin - facing each other, and I pulled her as close as I could. She kept squirming, and I knew she wasn’t entirely comfortable.

“What’s wrong?” I asked into her hair as she nuzzled into my neck.

“Nothing, I’m being ridiculous.”

“Don’t make me get the serum,” I joked, and she lightly slapped my chest.

“I just…I don’t feel close enough.”

“What do you need?”

“I - I want you inside of me. Not for, you know, just -”

“I got you.”

I lifted her thigh over my hip, opening her to me. I ran my fingers over her core, just to make sure she could take me comfortably. Shifting my hips, I slid deep within her. She gasped, then relaxed, almost melted into me.

I was prepared to give her anything she needed. But I hadn’t realized how much I needed this, too. I wrapped myself around her and kissed gently along her shoulder. Whatever this was, it was beyond intimate - something I didn’t have a name for yet - and it was something I’d never felt before. But it was incredible and perfect, too much and not enough at once.

I tried not to think about being bare inside her unprotected pussy, though it made my cock twitch. I took deep breaths until I calmed down. This wasn’t about sex - and certainly wasn’t about breeding - and we’d had so much sex recently, though that was protected every time. 

This was about closeness, connection, and sheltering in one another—everything I never knew I needed.

-

Y/N POV

When I woke, I felt surrounded by warmth, comfort, and peace, which washed over me and soothed me more than I’d felt in years. I didn’t have nightmares, either. I opened my eyes and smiled, realizing why I felt so good.

Dean was asleep and looked peaceful, the dark circles and shadows gone from his features. Although he was handsome - he always was, even injured, angry, or covered in blood - it wasn’t what caught me the most. This incredible man I loved held me together as I fell apart. He wasn’t turning from me because I was weak. He was doing whatever he could to give me his strength. To keep me whole.

In the back of my mind, I knew I’d still be plagued with trauma, but at that moment, I felt peace. And I desperately wanted to show my gratitude to the one who made it possible.

He had slipped from my folds as we slept, though we still held close to one another. I kissed down his chest and stomach. As I reached his hips, he shifted to his back but remained asleep. Disappearing beneath the sheets, I focused on his cock, thick and hard, as I kissed and licked along his shaft, tasting a little of my flavor mixed with his.

I licked his slit, and his cock twitched, and I knew he was awake. A moment later, the sheet was lifted and tossed aside to reveal me. The static from the sheet had my hair going crazy, but Dean didn’t seem to care as his sleepy eyes met mine.

I took him in my mouth until I hit the base, my nose pressed into his hair as he twitched in the back of my throat. It didn’t take long to have him coming hard and hot down my throat.

I kissed my way up his body, and he impatiently pulled me up to capture my lips and kiss me breathlessly.

“Good morning,” I grinned at him.

-

Dean POV

I was deep in a dream of Y/N sucking my dick, and it felt so real it woke me up. My cock twitched as I noticed the lump in the sheet, and a warm, wet tongue ran along my shaft. I flung the sheet back, and there she was, hair wild and lips stretched as she took me deep. It was better than the dream I had left behind.

More than a week ago, I had a dream of eating her out and then woke up to just that. Here again, another dream, another reality. It made me wonder how many of my dreams would no longer reside in only my mind because of her.

She knew just what to do to have me coming quickly. I would have been embarrassed if I could have thought, but my head was spinning, and I needed a second to recover.

As she kissed up my body, I felt cared for and worshipped. I could’ve cried. Instead, I pulled her lips to mine and kissed her deeply, thankful for the wake-up and her in general.

“Good morning,” she smiled at me, and I felt blessed. God damn blessed.

I let her lead us through what had become our morning routine - shower, dress, and head to the kitchen for coffee, with plenty of chances for kissing and groping because I couldn’t keep my hands or lips from her for long - feeling well-rested and relaxed, and grateful not to have to think for a change.

When we entered the kitchen, Y/N poured cups while I sat at the table where Sam and Eileen were awake and chatty. At least there was food, which had to be Eileen because Sam was all thumbs in the kitchen.

I shoved a piece of bacon in my mouth as Y/N passed me a coffee and sat beside me. I had to be dreaming still. All of us, together, happy, a family. I knew it couldn’t last, and we still had to talk about what happened and how to handle it.

-

Y/N POV

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked.

Well, no, he didn’t just ask. He flashed those devastating puppy-dog eyes at me - full of sympathy and concern - and I felt confused at his sudden, intense care for me, but I also melted a little under the influence of that gaze.

“Better,” I shrugged, focusing on my plate and shoving food around with my fork. I was hungry, but I also felt incredibly guilty. I made them feel uncomfortable because I couldn’t handle the fallout of a simple kill.

“You don’t have to be,” he added, and I couldn’t help but meet his eyes again. Seeing his sincerity, I struggled to hold back tears.

“I’m so sorry. This is my fault,” Eileen said. 

I watched as Sam reassured her it wasn’t, using his hands and words, before he tucked her head under his chin and ran his hands down her back, comforting her. I felt this wasn’t the first time they’d had this discussion.

“No, it’s our fault,” Dean insisted, pointing between him and Sam. “They went after you-” he pointed at Eileen “-to get to us, and you-” he turned to me “-had to kill something and are traumatized because of us.”

“Because of the demons,” I said calmly and steadily as I tried to eat some food.

“What?”

“It’s the demons' fault. We were all victims,” I stated firmly, staring Dean down and begging his stubborn ass to believe it. 

I knew he was angry with himself, blaming himself for everything. It was what he did. I wasn’t sure I could break him of the habit, especially not over this, but I would still try—every time.

Dean stared back, a fire in his eyes and stiff posture as he shifted his whole body to face me. I met his stance and gaze, determined not to back down from this fight.

“They did it to try to hurt us,” he emphasized. “We’re hell’s most wanted and - newsflash, Sweetheart-” he seethed, throwing his arms up at his sides, and I internally cringed at the bitter use of the name and how utterly horrible and demeaning it sounded in that tone. 

“That means demons coming at us. They always have, and they always will. So yeah, it’s our fault. Hell, probably mine because-” he turned to stare at his brother as he and Eileen tried to remain quiet and still as this conversation erupted. “-That demon you exorcised was asking about Y/N, right?”

He didn’t even wait for a response as he faced me again, his anger out of control, his face red, and his voice booming in the caverns of the underground Bunker. I held up a finger before he could continue - or before Sam could muster a response - more than fed up with his current train of bullshit.

“Okay, Hun,” I threw back at him in the same patronizing tone. “First off, it’s not your fault that demons come after you. You’re the best, and that threatens them. But you didn’t beg for demons to come into your life and keep it interesting,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at the idea.

“And second, I knew who you were and what you were about since I came here, Dean.” I tried and failed to keep the whine out of my voice as I got loud and emotional. “I knew about your life and that things like this would happen. I don’t want to hunt, and I don’t want to kill. Taking a life…” 

I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. Life was precious, and I wasn’t a killer, nor did I want to be. I knew this would stay with me, and I hoped it wouldn’t drive me crazy. Crazy with grief, sorrow, and guilt. I met his eyes again and saw he’d deflated some. 

“But I would do it again, kill again and again, to protect and save you because you’re worth it, and I love you that much.”

-

Sam POV

Dean and Y/N looked happy and well-rested when they entered the kitchen. Eileen and I had made breakfast—well, mostly Eileen. I just handed her things, really - and I was glad to be able to help relieve some of the tension from Y/N. She usually did these things and cared for us all; now, she needed us to do the same for her.

I suppose I was too hopeful that she’d be alright, but I wanted her to know it was okay if she wasn’t. I should’ve known everyone’s emotions were running high. I had spent much time convincing Eileen that it wasn’t her fault, either. But she was about as stubborn as Dean or myself, and in the back of my mind, I knew convincing any of us that we weren’t at fault was a monumental task.

“It’s the demons' fault. We were all victims.”

The words seemed to suck the air out of the room. Y/N stared Dean down, almost as if daring him to argue with her. I’d seen them have plenty of interactions, but never angry or argumentative. He turned in his seat to face her, and I squeezed Eileen’s hand under the table as I braced for whatever tirade my brother was about to unleash.

“They did it to hurt us. We’re hell’s most wanted and - newsflash, Sweetheart -”

I winced at Dean’s tone as he hissed the nickname at Y/N. To her credit, she didn’t bat an eye. I glanced at Eileen, who seemed to feel the same as she turned her attention back to the others.

“That means demons coming at us. They always have, and they always will.”

I sighed, and my shoulders slumped because Dean was right. Demons were a constant nuisance in our lives. Eileen squeezed my hand, and I met her eyes. She nudged me, and I knew she was trying to keep me from blaming myself, just like I had done with her. 

He’s right. I silently mouthed the words to her. She let go of my hand, and I was about to protest or wonder what I did wrong until I realized she was quickly signing with her hands low to be unseen by the others.

If he’s right, then I’m to blame, too.

I shook my head to deny her words, and she flashed me a slight smirk, proving her point. We all wanted to take the blame, but Y/N was right. We were all victims here.

“That demon you exorcised was asking about Y/N, right?”

His question caught me off guard. Surprised, I raised my brows but sat taller and squeezed Eileen’s hand for courage as I was roped into their debate. He didn’t wait for my answer before he turned back to Y/N, and she raised a finger to stall me, so I shut my mouth and relaxed back into my seat.

“Okay, Hun.”

Ooh, shit. Okay, she was throwing his shit right back at him. It was hard to hide my smirk. 

“First off, it’s not your fault that demons come after you. You’re the best, and that threatens them. But you didn’t beg for demons to come into your life and keep it interesting.” 

I almost felt like her words were for me, too, because they soothed and encouraged me. And she was right again. We didn’t ask for this life, for demons and monsters to hunt us as much as we hunted them. But it was our life, and Dean was okay with that until someone he cared about got hurt.

“And second, I knew who you were and what you were about since I came here, Dean. I knew about your life and that things like this would happen. I don’t want to hunt, and I don’t want to kill. Taking a life…” 

Eileen and I leaned more into each other, our gazes falling to the table. We all had been there and knew the feeling of that first kill or a hunt gone wrong. It was a heavy, dark feeling that settled deep in your core and poisoned everything if you let it. 

We had done this for so long. Even Eileen had been hunting most of her life and was a Men of Letters legacy herself. After a while, the killing, death, and blood all get easier. But you also find yourself drowning in it.

“But I would do it again, kill again and again, to protect and save you because you’re worth it, and I love you that much.”

And there it was—without a serum, and despite the horrible turn of events - she told him again that she felt him worthy and loved him. It was exactly what Dean needed to hear, pounded into his mind repeatedly until he understood. I suddenly felt even worse about how I had reacted before. Maybe I needed someone to pound it into my head, too. I turned and smiled at Eileen, who was looking at me sweetly. 

My mind went back to my conversation with Dean. He wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving Y/N behind at the Bunker, being apart from her, and I still believed we’d be safer in numbers. But we’d also be able to watch and protect Y/N and Eileen.  

“Dean,” Y/N sighed. “This is part of the Hunter Pie life. You can’t shield me, so you might as well prepare me.”

Yeah. That. She was right again, and I completely agreed with her. She was the odd one out, who wasn’t a hunter, a legacy, or a part of this world. But here she was, choosing to face it all because it was Dean’s life, and she felt he was worth it. 

At that moment, I finally realized why Dean defended her and fought for their relationship. She was worth it, too.

-

Dean POV

“Dean,” Y/N sighed. “This is part of the Hunter Pie life. You can’t shield me, so you might as well prepare me.”

“Prepare you?”

“I don’t want to hunt,” she reiterated. “But I want you to train me to defend myself so I can be ready.”

“I can help,” Eileen offered, smiling at Y/N. “I want to help.”

“Yeah, me too,” Sam said, and I felt sick.

All I wanted was for Y/N to be protected from all of this. To continue being happy and carefree and not have to face and deal with the dark crap that plagued us. But everyone, including her, seemed to have other ideas. I didn’t like it, but she had a point. 

She had handled herself beautifully in that encounter. With a bit of training, she’d probably be a pretty proficient hunter. I didn’t want that for her either, but if I remained in this life - which, who am I kidding, I could never leave - then she’d be in it, too, one way or another.

Then, there was what she’d said. Despite her shock and trauma, I was worth what she was feeling because she loved me that much. Those words alone took all the air and anger right outta me.

“Okay,” I sighed, shaking my head. Although I hated the idea, I knew I was outnumbered. “Okay, we’ll work on training you and bring you along on hunts. You can help with research and other things that don’t involve the killing part.”

She grinned broadly, leaned forward, and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tight. It surprised me, but I was grateful, wrapping my arms around her tightly. It was our first fight—or argument, really—and all things considered, it wasn’t that bad. However, I still hated that we argued to begin with. 

I never wanted to be the reason she was upset.

That didn’t mean I was thrilled about training her or taking her along on hunts, even if she wanted to avoid the monsters. I wasn’t too thrilled that this family of ours - that was so new and I was just in awe over - had banded together against me on such a hard-hitting issue. Why did I feel like I was the only one worried?

Eileen mentioned showing Y/N some of her favorite weapons and go-to moves, and the two of them excitedly talked as they left the kitchen, presumably to start Y/N’s training. Sam watched them go, then turned to me with a smirk.

“You’re freaking out, aren’t you?” 

My little brother seemed amused, the ass, and I couldn’t help the groan that left me as I dropped my head to the table.

“I’m worried,” I reluctantly admitted, but I had to talk to someone about this. “She was already attacked once, and if we take her with us…”

“I get it. But she’s right. This is part of the ‘hunter pie life’ thing you two keep talking about.”

“You could have that, too.” 

I knew Sam wanted that, a life like that. He usually talked about ‘getting out’ and having the ‘apple pie life.’ But if I could somehow swing this mixed world life, surely he could, too? At least Eileen was part of this world and life. I never wanted to bring anyone into it, but it was different if they already were. 

What Y/N asked us to do was against one of my strongest beliefs: not to bring civilians into this world and life. But I failed at that the moment we let her into the Bunker, the moment I let her into my bed and my heart.

“Eileen was thinking about staying around for a while,” Sam said, and I could hear the hopefulness in his tone, not just for what that could mean but also for my blessing.

“Good. I’m sure Y/N would appreciate having another woman around.”

I smirked, and he smiled bashfully. He almost resembled his younger self, full of hope for the future. It was a little infectious. But I got it. Y/N made me feel alive and lucky to have her. I didn’t want to leave her behind; I’d miss her too much. I didn’t want her in danger, either, but I couldn’t have everything. 

If she was determined, then so was I. If she was gonna come along, even if she wasn’t hunting, I’d make sure that she could survive, no matter what. 

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[that-sokovian-bastard]

Your Choice - Jason Todd x (f)Reader

Words: 4116 Pairing: Jason Todd x (f)Reader Warnings: SMUT. Minors DNI! 18+ only!!!! Mean dom Jason, swearing, rope bondage, edging, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms/forced orgasms, vibrator, teasing, blindfold, nipple play (just a little), fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving). Jason is a kinky mf. Summary: After plans for the night change, Jason has an idea to keep you awake. It ends much more evil than you first expected. Author's Note: Truly love that this is my first ever time writing smut and it’s kinky as fuck. I have all the shame in the world and none at the same time. Also they have a safe word it’s just not explicitly discussed in the fic. Anyway, if you know me irl, it’s illegal to read this fic, actually. Don’t look at me. Hope you enjoy.

Jason / Full Masterlist

—

Every few minutes, you wondered how you managed to end up in this situation. And just as that thought came into your mind, it was ripped away by being pulled onto the edge. Then, you'd finally calm down enough to get back to contemplating how you even agreed to this...and you were right back on the edge again.

You knew Jason had to go out for patrol. If he missed it again, one of his family members was going to show up at the apartment in worry. And you definitely didn't need anyone to show up while being with Jason. You two had plans for tonight, but he ended up getting called on patrol. You tried to convince him to tell the team no, but he said he couldn’t and that you guys would just have your fun when he returned. But you were worried you wouldn’t be able to stay up the entire time before he got back, and you wouldn’t want to wake up when he returned. So, as he got ready to leave, he told you he had an idea of how you could keep yourself awake while he was gone without any worry.

Whatever his idea was, you expected it to be fun and a little evil. He reminded you that at any point as he was setting up, you could tell him to stop, and he would drop everything, but he would be leaving for patrol eventually, and you’d be in the bedroom alone for a while. He was very clear. 

Jason told you to undress as he pulled out some rope, instructing you to lay on the bed before he got to work. Working fast to not be late to patrol, he tied your wrists to either side of the headboard and your ankles to the bottom corners of the bed. You laughed a little when he finished and looked down at you. “Uh, Jason?” You said, tugging at the ropes to test their strength. “I’m pretty sure me being stuck like this is only going to encourage me to fall asleep,” You reminded him, cocky about your position.

He smirked in response, and you knew you were in for it. “Who said I was done?” He turned and walked to the dresser against the wall where he grabbed the rope from earlier. Before you knew it, he turned back around, and you couldn’t see what he grabbed. However, you didn’t have to let your mind guess for long as he quickly put the small vibrator right below your clit. He secured it with thinner rope wrapped around your leg to make sure that none of your struggles could dislodge it, then stood back to admire you before he turned it on. 

“Pretty sure this will also make me pass out,” You tried again to be cocky.

“Why do you act like I don’t know what I’m doing?” He scoffed and turned on the vibrator to its lowest setting, causing you to gasp ever so slightly in response. “I know for a fact this won’t do anything except keep you alert and awake. But if you really think you won’t be able to focus on only it…,” Jason trailed off and grabbed one more thing from the dresser. When he came back to the side of the bed, he slipped the black blindfold over your eyes and, even though you couldn’t see it, cracked the most satisfied grin as he watched you.

He could tell you were already starting to hold back from letting your body react to the subtle vibrations. Jason didn’t say anything as he finished putting on his gear, slowly, enjoying the background noise full of your suppressed whimpers. He slipped on his jacket, pulled on his gloves, and placed the domino mask on his face. Jason set his helmet on the top of the dresser near the window he usually left out of but stood next to you once more before he left.

“I’m about to leave. This is your last chance to opt out,” He said to you, entirely serious.

It took you a second, but after a breath, you managed a quick nod. “I’m, yeah. I’m good.”

“If you say so,” He shrugged and headed back to the dresser, grabbing his helmet and slipping it on. “Oh, and darling?” Jason called as he was halfway out. You hummed in response, and he continued, “I’m leaving the window open, so I’d keep it down. See you later.” 

You couldn’t even fully blame Jason at this point. He told you what to expect. He warned you. He warned you that you’d be alone with no escape until he got home, which, while he was hoping it was a quick patrol, could’ve ended up taking much longer. But you thought you could take it. Now, a few hours later, you’re starting to wonder if you underestimated the situation.

Frankly, you had lost track of time with the amount of thoughts circling through your head. It could’ve only been an hour so far, but you’re sure that it’s been more. You didn’t know and kind of didn’t care, either, as there was nothing you could do about it. Earlier in the night, you thought that maybe Jason put in a failsafe that if you really needed out, you could pull hard enough, but nothing worked. Not that you really wanted to get out, though; you were just testing. All you could do was wait.

So, you continued to wait, hyper-aware of all the noises happening around you. You had to listen very carefully since the blindfold over your eyes blocked that sense. It was hard to differentiate what was happening inside your apartment and outside since the window was still open, and the cool breeze was hitting your bare skin just right.

The cool breeze also reminded you that you had to keep quiet. Even though you were on the third floor, if you were loud enough, someone could hear you and welcome themselves in through the open window. It would have been difficult since it isn't a direct shot to the fire escape from your window, but you also didn't need random people (or vigilantes) imagining what was going on inside your and Jason's bedroom.

Finally, you heard a creek come from the window. "Jay...Jason?" You breathily called out, hoping he was finally back. When there wasn't a response, you groaned about the wind tricking you again, which resulted in a low laugh from someone in the room. He really was trying to fuck with your mind, too, by sneaking in, it seemed.

"Don't...don't do that," You said, not entirely clear on what you didn't want him to do.

You couldn't see Jason leaning against the corner of the room, his helmet already off and arms crossed as he watched you writhe and pull at the rope around your wrists and ankles. He didn't respond to your pleas but waited for you to reach the edge again before he said anything, fully making himself known.

"Wow," He marveled at the sight in front of him. "Someone just left you tied up here, did they?" He teased. You didn't respond, you couldn't, as you rode the edge but never making it over. He waited again before continuing, this time shutting the window and making sure you heard it so you knew you could be louder. "I can't believe they would do that to you. Leaving you all by your lonesome, tired and needy," Jason said as he walked closer. He stood at the foot of the bed and watched your back arch every few seconds, trying to get anything. 

Jason was proud of himself. You hated to admit it, but he was right about this whole situation being enough to keep you awake while he was gone. 

"Come on, don't you have anything to say about the mean person who just left you here? What a crazy criminal, right?" He taunted.

Again, you didn't respond. You could barely keep track of what he was saying. Jason knew it and leaned forward to touch your thigh with his gloved hand, lightly rubbing the top of it to encourage a response.

"R-right," You breathed out, almost a gasp. "It was...it was very mean of them."

"Then you got lucky that I showed up, sweetheart," Jason said, still slowly rubbing your thigh.

You took a deep breath as you prepared to respond again. "My," You started, pausing for a second before continuing. "My hero."

Jason pulled his hand back instantly and laughed again. "Hero? Oh, no. I'm no hero," He said, walking around the side of the bed and leaning in close to your ear. "I'm much, much worse."

Heat fluttered to your chest as Jason’s words hit you, and the buzzing below intensified. You hadn’t even realized he hit the button to turn up the vibrator’s level, pulling you back to the edge of an orgasm as you arched your back off the bed again, but this time, you were stuck there. The sudden change in power pulled you right where he wanted you. It kept you where he wanted you.

You heard Jason laugh from the corner of the bed now. You knew you looked pathetic, not able to calm down and not able to find release, but you couldn’t control it anymore. Jason peeled off his gloves as he watched you struggle, pulling at your wrists as hard as possible. “You’ve made such a mess already,” He stated. “How long has your captor left you like this?”

He was pleased when you didn’t respond, knowing the power he held over you right now. With his bare hand, he touched your thigh again but moved to the inside instead of staying on top. “I asked you a question, sweetheart. How long has your captor left you like this?”

It took a moment for you to get the words out, but Jason was patient. “I don’t know,” You spit out, almost as one word.

“No idea? Well, that’s a shame,” He sighed. “If it had been a long time, I would make sure to get you that release you so desperately need. But if you don’t know, it very well can’t be that long,” He continued to let his fingers circle your inner thigh, but staying far enough away from what you wanted to continue to tease you. “I think we can have some more fun before all that.”

“No,” You managed to get out, but Jason ignored it, knowing that no didn’t mean for him to stop. He had both his hands trailing your inner thighs now, only adding to his fun and your sensitivity. You could feel the bed dip when he kneeled between your spread legs, but still not close enough to you. He finally stopped teasing your thighs, but since he was closer now, his hands went up your body to your waist, your ribs, and your breasts. He circled all over your bare skin, some areas warm with need, some still cool from the late-night breeze. Of course, Jason knew how long you were like this, and even though it was longer than he was originally planning, he was going to make you wait just a little longer for having such doubt in him earlier when he was setting you up. He leaned forward, and you could feel both his hands dig into the bed beside your chest, and he was nearly straddling you, making sure to stay far enough away that you couldn’t feel him unless he wanted you to.

Jason leaned down to plant kisses on your neck and trailed down the center of your body, stopping just under your belly button. When he pulled back from your stomach, he realized you were still arching your back off the bed, and he couldn’t have that. You felt the hand to the right of you leave the bed, then land gently on your chest as he pushed slightly, making your back flush with the bed again. He kept his hand there, locking you down and making the vibrations much stronger as you couldn’t move anything with him holding you. 

“Jay,” You breathed out, catching his attention.

“Hmm?” He half-heartedly replied. It took you a moment to figure out what you wanted to say, so he prompted you. “Come on, use your words.”

“Please,” You begged, but you couldn’t say more than just the one word. 

So Jason decided to play dumb. “Please, what?” He posed. “That could mean a million different things, sweetheart; I need you to clarify.” 

He still had his hand holding you down as he waited for your response. As he waited, he tapped his fingers to remind you that his hand was there, and it was not moving until you said something. “Please, I need…I’m so close,” You finally managed to breathe out, begging him for any extra attention to get you over the edge.

“Need?” Jason asked. “What do you need me to do?”

He waited again, not moving, not even tapping his fingers. But he pressed the button on the vibrator again, turning it up another level to encourage you to tell him exactly what you wanted. He knew you were having a hard time with words, and he was enjoying the sight as your mouth opened and closed as you tried to find them.

“Need,” You barely managed to say. “Touch, oh my god, Jason.” 

“Touch? Baby, I’m already touching you, remember?” He tapped his fingers again, his hand still on your chest, right below your breasts. As the vibrations got more intense, you reacted harder, trying to pull your legs together for some friction and arching your back off the bed for some movement. But your legs were still secure to the corners of the bed, and Jason pushed down just a little rougher when he realized you were fighting against his hand. 

“Oh,” He dragged out as you continued reacting, pretending like he just came to a realization. “You want me to touch you somewhere else? You should have said so.”

You grunted in response, confirming what he said. “If I let go, you have to keep your back on the bed, okay?” He asked you, and you nodded to tell him you understood. “If you don’t, I’ll have to stop.”

The threat of stopping worried you because you weren’t sure how much restraint you had now, and it would only get worse when he started touching you in other places. You were hoping he’d go straight down to your pussy to give you what you wanted right away, but he wasn’t being that nice. Instead, his hand moved up from its place below your chest and onto your right breast, fiddling with it slowly. He gently massaged you, pulling strangled moans, and you worked as hard as you could to stay still. He rolled your nipple between his calloused fingers, and you thought the onslaught was over when he released your sensitive nipple and landed his hand on the bed next to your right side.

But just as you took a second to breathe, his other hand came off the bed, and he repeated his movements on your left breast. He knew he was torturing you with his slow movements, making you wait even longer for release. Jason could see you struggling to keep still and hold yourself to the bed. 

When he finished with your breasts, he decided you finally had had enough, and he’d move lower. He kept moving slowly, using one finger to track down your body as he leaned back. He brushed right over your clit, touched the vibrator for a little extra pressure, then stopped right before your entrance. He circled a few times, very slowly, enjoying the sight before him. 

You gasped as he circled. “Jason, please,” You begged, and this time, he happily obliged. He loved hearing you beg, but you’ve already given him so much that he was ready to help you. Jason watched your face as he slowly inserted two fingers, taking his time but making you feel good. You could barely focus on his fingers because you were so focused on keeping your back on the bed, and he could tell you were struggling. 

Jason reached his other hand up and laid it on your stomach, pushing down to keep you where you were so you weren’t worrying as much. You still had to focus to not move the top half of your back, but he was trying to help. Unfortunately, by him holding your stomach, it meant that he only had one hand to touch you with, and it was already preoccupied inside you. 

Jason’s fingers slowly pumped in and out of you, and he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew just one right move would send you in to your wave of orgasm, and he was having fun seeing how long he could make you hold on. You tried your hardest to keep your moans quiet, but he heard every single one of them. “Faster,” You begged through a moan, and Jason’s fingers paused.

“Are you telling me what to do?” He asked. Jason knew he was fucking with you in more ways than one, going from asking you to tell him what you wanted, to telling you to stop asking; he loved to change the rules. You hummed in response to his question, sounding like a suppressed no so that he would keep moving. “That’s what I thought.”

He started again, even slower than before, and it was killing you. “Just so you know,” Jason said as he kept moving his fingers. “Once you start, I’m not planning on letting you stop any time soon. How does that sound?” He asked, but your mind was such a blur at this point you couldn’t respond with anything besides a moan or a whimper. “So, do you want to start now or keep waiting?”

You whined again, but that didn’t satisfy Jason. “I need you to tell me. Do you want me to make you orgasm now, or do you want to wait?” He asked again, still slowly pumping his fingers. You weren’t sure how he was sitting on the bed, but you could tell he was still on his knees and probably leaned forward because you were sure you could feel his breath on your pussy. “Answer me.”

The hardest part was that you weren’t sure what you wanted. An orgasm right now sounded great, but you knew that he would keep his promise and you’d be oversensitive in seconds with as fast as he could pull them from you. But it would also be hell to wait because he knows all your tells. “If you don’t answer right now, then I’m going to pick,” He warned, which was the secret third option you knew you didn’t want, because his picking always ended with utter torture.

“N-now,” You decided in a snap, immediately not sure if that was the wisest choice.

As soon as you said it, Jason’s fingers inside you began to pick up their pace and hit nearly all the right spots. And you were right; you knew he was right in front of you, because he leaned in and over the small vibrator to immediately start sucking on your clit. The sudden change in pace and addition of his mouth made you scream, pulling at each of your secured limbs, barely able to get any movement. His other hand still held your stomach, but the top of your back and head arched off the bed in reaction. Luckily, Jason didn’t let up as he finally guided you off the edge and into a full-blown orgasm. 

It continued to rush over you, heat spreading throughout your entire body as Jason continued to suck, lick, touch, kiss, and even laugh and talk into you. You couldn’t make out any of what he was saying through your loud noises; you just knew that the vibrations of his laughter and speech were mixing with the still-on vibrator, and you knew there would be no coming down for a while. You tried to buck your hips, but everything mixed together kept your hips in place just as tight as your limbs were. The vibrator, just like it had been for the last few hours, stayed exactly where Jason tied it, and he had no intention of taking it off.

“Jason…Jason,” You called out over and over, barely having any time to breathe before you orgasmed again. “Hang on,” You said.

“I told you what was going to happen,” He said after he lifted his head from between your legs, making sure you could hear him. “This was your choice. You chose this.”

He waited to hear your response for a moment. Though he may have stopped attacking your clit, his fingers were still inside you, moving around in all directions. “Just…” You said. “I need…a second.”

“If I gave you a second, then I’d be breaking my promise of not letting you stop,” Jason said and didn’t wait anymore, his mouth right back on you, making you scream his name out again through another orgasm. As you came down a few moments later, he pulled his face back. “I’ll give you another choice. How does that sound?” He asked.

“O-okay.”

“I can either return to what I was doing, or I can move the vibrator,” He said. You waited to see if there was any clarification, but there wasn’t, and he was waiting for your answer. You knew there was a chance that he didn’t clarify because he wanted you to choose and screw yourself over, but you knew there would be no refuge if his mouth returned to your clit. Your choice was harder to decide in your mind because Jason never stopped moving his fingers in and out, in and out…

“Do you want me to choose?” He asked, pulling you back to reality.

You shook your head and yelled out your answer. “The vibrator!” You decided. “Move the…move the vibrator.”

You couldn’t see his pleased smile, and you sighed loudly in relief when Jason’s fingers exited you. You hoped that by move, he meant to get rid of it entirely, but you feared for the worst. Especially with how mean he was being tonight. As you thought about it, either answer was going to end the same way: he was going to keep you orgasming over and over.

You finally had a chance to catch up with yourself as he loosened the rope that held the vibrator on you, and it detached from your pussy. For a few seconds, you were just laying there, legs shaking in their binds. Jason loved watching your chest heave, and your legs shake as you still tried to pull at your wrists, but he couldn’t admire you for too long. Your worst fear came true as he tightened the rope again, this time leaving the vibrator sitting directly on your clit. You gasped out immediately, only groaning more when Jason pressed the button a few times to turn it on to its highest setting.

“Remember, you chose this,” He reminded you as you made your way into another orgasm. You continued to try to move your legs and hands, but still with no escape, as he made sure the ropes would never give way. You noticed when the dip in the bed between your legs let up, meaning Jason got off the bed. You weren’t sure what he was doing, but a moment later, you felt his rough hand on your chin. 

He leaned in, slowly kissing you through your moans and groans. As he pulled back, you could feel the soft smile on his face. “You’re doing so good, baby,” He said under his breath, almost breaking his character.

His hand left your chin, and you were worried he was going to leave you alone again. “Jay?” You called out.

“I’m still here. Just watching the show for a few minutes, then we’ll continue,” He said, and your eyes widened behind the blindfold.

“Con…continue?” You asked. You were certain that this was the beginning of the end of all of this. There was more he had planned?

Jason smiled again, though you couldn’t see it. “Of course. You didn’t think we were done, did you?”

“I-” You stopped when you were pushed into another orgasm caused by a mix of the vibrator and Jason’s words.

“Baby, we’re just getting started,” He said, making sure you heard it over your loud moan, excited for the rest of the night.

[femme-foucault]

a little late, but this was from my first trip to ATX from one entire decade ago holy shit.

Flashback to three years on my first ever visit to Austin.

[thebuddiearchives]

BUDDIE FIC RECS ✴ HOSTAGE SITUATION ✴ VOL. 1

Fic recs centered around season 5 episode 6, Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1.

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all this time i didn't know(you were breaking down) by BooyahFordhamYacht Oneshot || Teen || 3873

buck does not handle the prison riots well at all. eddie gets really mad and then really worried, in that order.

alt;

Eddie thinks it started with the ambulance, or the gun.

But then Nolan’s mom comes out, and Nolan’s going to be okay, and Eddie can breathe again, kind of, and all he can think is 'Christopher,' so he leaves. He walks out and tries to imagine that he and Buck are fine, and it doesn’t work, and he tries not to care about that.

It doesn’t work.

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caught up in the war inside by farfromthstars // @doeeyeseddie Oneshot || General || 2561

Buck shoots him a nervous look before focusing on the road again. “You said you didn’t want a ready-made family. I didn’t wanna overstep.” For a few seconds, Eddie just stares at him before he blurts out, “I didn’t mean you.”

~

coda to 5x06, in which eddie strikes one thing off the list of Things He and Buck Don't Talk About

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follow me home (how could i ever leave without you?) by buckleyseddie // @buckleyseddie Oneshot || Teen || 6517

There’s a short silence and then, “I’m gonna go see mine,” Eddie says. 

Buck tries not to let his face fall. Savanna’s son is okay, there’s no reason for them to stay here any longer so of course Eddie wants to head home to see his kid.

The thing is, Buck wants nothing more than to go with him.

He wants to keep Eddie in his line of sight and he wants to make sure Christopher’s okay, but he can’t bring himself to call out to Eddie, to ask him if it would be okay if Buck came over today. He doesn’t want to impose, but he also really doesn’t want to go home alone.

Maybe if he lingers long enough Athena and Bobby will invite him over, maybe Ravi will let Buck buy him breakfast.

Before he can test that theory though, Eddie looks over his shoulder at him and asks, “you coming, Buck?” *** or in the aftermath of the hostage situation, Buck goes home with Eddie

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gathered up your things and slipped away (no time at all, i followed you) by zashizawa Oneshot || Not Rated || 1115

The gunshot goes off, and instantly, Buck is standing in the middle of the street with blood on his face, staining his clothes, in his mouth, everywhere.

(Or, post s05e06, Buck needs to see Eddie and Chris.)

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Half of my heart has always been yours by justhockey // @everything-i-am Oneshot || Not Rated || 2509

It felt like Buck’s soul got ripped in half when he heard that gunshot crack through the air. For the length of a heartbeat everything was frozen in one agonising, unbearable moment.

And then Buck was running - chest heaving and legs as heavy as lead - to get to Eddie.

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I don't feel it till it hurts by bigfootsmom // @bigfootsmom Oneshot || General || 5796

Where Buck is not as okay after being pistol-whipped as he appears and Eddie is not okay in general.

If Buck were here he would tell Eddie that everything is alright and Eddie wouldn’t believe him, but he would be able to pretend for a while.

Eddie wants to see Buck. But it feels like invading Buck’s space with Taylor to just drive over to the loft. Even though it’s what his heart aches to do, Eddie holds himself back. Buck is with his girlfriend. He doesn’t need Eddie showing up and fussing over him.

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I think that I should probably tell you this In case there is an accident by Pan_Cake_Cats // @dorkydiaz Multichapter || Teen || 2688

But he didn’t have to do that. Eddie is…..fine. And Chris doesn’t need him. So why are his fingers burning as they itch to type out a message to Eddie. What would he even say? The phone drops from his hands and clatters to the table as he resigns himself to the fact that he should sleep. He puts on the tv as soft background noise and just stares up at the ceiling for hours. But he can't help but feel guilty. Guilty that to feel calm, to feel right again, he needs to see Christopher. Who is not his son. Eventually he does fall into a restless sleep. He wakes in the late afternoon to the klinking of keys and Eddie’s warm voice cutting through the sterile stillness of the loft.

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if you don't know me by now by ColorMeParanoid // @color-me-paranoid Oneshot || Teen || 2699

They’d just returned from a call and were lounging around after lunch, taking advantage of a calm moment between calls while they still could when Ravi changed the channel and said, “Hey, Buck. Isn’t that your girlfriend?”

“I didn’t know she was covering the prison riot,” Eddie said and Buck found himself frowning.

“That’s because she’s not.” Or, at least, she wasn’t the last time he saw her.

“Are you sure about that?” Hen said, glowering at the TV. “Because it looks like she found herself a perfect story.”

Or, the one in which Taylor crosses the line and the inevitable breakup follows

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isn’t it just so pretty to think by spiritsontheroof Oneshot || General || 11232

Buck feels like his whole life is a waiting game now. Waiting for whatever is going on with Eddie to come to a head or work itself out, waiting for his sister to come home, waiting for being with Taylor to feel right. Sitting, waiting, wishing.

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Jump by goodiecornbread Oneshot || Teen || 4719

Buck is fine, okay?

It's just that, after Eddie almost dies again, he gets a little jumpy. That's all. He's fine.

–––

Buck dealing with some things after the ambulance jacking.

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a little less war torn by renecdote // @renecdote Oneshot || Teen || 5647

“I gotta be honest,” Eddie says quietly, “you’re not really reassuring me here, Buck.”

Buck bites his lip hard. He can’t tell the truth. He can’t. Christopher is here, and Eddie will probably leave, and then he’ll be alone again, again, again. Tears blur his eyes and he blinks quickly, trying to hold them at bay.

“Hey.” Hand on Buck’s shoulder now, squeezing just a little too tight. “I’m serious—do I need to take you to a hospital right now?”

Set right after 5x06 ends. In which Buck is all kinds of not okay but Eddie helps.

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Misplaced aggression by basicallyiwriteshit Multichapter || General || 7961

Eddie's been having a lot of feelings about how closely ingrained into his and Christopher's lives. His brain can't decide if that's good or bad, even though his heart's seemingly made the decision, and he snaps.

Evan knows he should take a step back. Let Eddie have time with his family, and quit being such a present part of his and Chris's day-to-day lives. He didn't expect Eddie to yell at him about it, though.

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nowhere we can go with nothing underneath by alasse Oneshot || Teen || 3401

Set immediately post 5.06. Taylor takes the bare bones of what Buck shared with her and starts digging, until she comes up with a pretty good guess at the truth of the riot and the transplant, which she wants to turn into a feature. The choice sets her on a collision path with Eddie—and with Buck.

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when the world crumbles (bring me home) by tawaifeddiediaz // @aashiqeddiediaz Oneshot || Teen || 2905

He regrets not following Eddie quick enough.

Or, the one where Buck and Eddie talk and cry it out

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Wish we could cut all ties with the morning light by Mellaithwen // @mellaithwen Oneshot || Teen || 2506

“You ever think that maybe I might be doing this for me too?” Eddie asks.

Buck looks a little broken at that, the way his face seems to almost collapse in on itself, and the breath he lets out is shaky and a little surprised. But it’s true. Eddie needs this. He needs to convince himself that he’s safe, that Buck’s safe, that Christopher’s safe. He needs the quiet ministrations to calm him down—he needs to slip into the familiar motions of giving care until his heart rate slows and finally the last of the adrenaline can ebb away.

He lets his thumb brush at Buck’s cheek, his hand still cradling his jaw. The moment seems to stretch and breathe and they stay there for a while, tethered by touch, until finally Buck gives a little nod of acceptance as he lets Eddie continue with his work. . While they wait for news at the hospital, Eddie tends to Buck's head wound.

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you showed up just in time by lecornergirl // @clusterbuck Oneshot || General || 1445

can i come over, typed out quickly and sent before he has time to overthink it. He wouldn’t even ask, not normally, but nothing about the past twenty-four hours has been normal.

Eddie texts back almost immediately. No.

Buck’s blood runs cold, horror settling like lead in his veins, and his heart feels like it’s trying to climb up his throat and leave his body as he tries to figure out what he could have done to piss Eddie off. Eddie had seemed fine in the hospital waiting room—if tired, as worn out and frayed as the rest of them, but—

A key turns in his door and Eddie walks in, Christopher in tow.

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[whales-are-gay]

jack harkness gotta be in the backgrou d of every torchwood frame studying cuntology at the university of servington from the best (doctor 9th doctor)

[okkalo]

Hiiii do you do scenarios for multiple characters? i'd like to request jealousy scenarios for isagi, chigiri, kaiser, nagi, reo. thank u sm ^^

hi anon! yes i do :) i hope u enjoy these and have a good day/night 🫶

characters: isagi, chigiri, kaiser, nagi, reo

isagi

- it’s the way the beast mode song came in my head just thinking about this 💀

- he would be a calm type of jealous though

- the only situation i can see him getting mad in is if kaiser was the one interacting with you and he was obviously flirting.

- even then he would try to control it around you, just making sure to send a little glare kaiser’s way before taking your hand to lead you someplace else. oh, you were mid-conversation? it’s okay because your boyfriend is much better company!

- he rarely gets jealous though

- and when he does he usually just touches you in someway, whether it be taking your hand or throwing an arm around you. he definitely gets pouty.

- i can imagine him getting jealous because you were talking to someone for too long

- you guys had gone out for a date, strolling around town until you suddenly bumped into an old friend

- at first isagi didn’t mind but you guys just kept talking

isagi let another rough sigh, borderline huff, slip from his lips as he watched you pay no mind to him. he had been standing there for god only knows how long, letting you interact with your old friend when really it should’ve just been the two of you. it was your guys’ date after all. he let out another sigh, hoping you guys had at least been getting close to ending the conversation. he wouldn’t know since he stopped listening ten minutes in. okay..maybe that’s an exaggeration. but it felt like an hour went by to isagi.

he switches his balance to his other foot, impatiently, before deciding to at least try to enjoy the time. he places a hand on your back, starting to rub it up and down while he continued to fake smile at the guy. his heart fluttered once you sent him a worried look, finally giving him some sort of attention. even better, you even took his hand as a sign that you should be wrapping up the conversation, to which you did with ease.

once done with waving goodbye, isagi immediately let out a dramatic sigh, lips going into a slight pout before pulling you closer to him. he didn’t need to say words for you to understand he was upset, because frankly his sighs said it all. you could only let out a small giggle before pulling isagi into a hug, resting your chin on his chest as you looked up. “thank you for waiting so patiently, yoichi.” okay, maybe he could do something like that again if this is what he got in return.

chigiri

- he’s definitely the hardest one to make jealous out of these characters

- but that’s mostly because he trusts you

- i can imagine you being brought up like his sister to the blue lock team

- you happened to be at one of the games, next to his sister, when she did her loud callout

- and of course the men heard and turned towards the direction, this time someone else had caught their eye.

- chigiri had to put up with their questions back then and he thought that was it

- until he had saw otoya try talking to you after the game

a huff left chigiri’s lips at the sight. he should’ve known to not trust otoya, i mean he saw it all that day they went bowling. what annoyed him even more is that he could tell otoya was using the same pickup tactic as if you were an ordinary girl. and to top it all off? you had been indulging him. he was lucky he came when otoya asked for your number.

“she’s not for grabs.” chigiri immediately slid his way into the conversation, arm finding it’s way around your waist as he gave a deadpan expression to his teammate. chigiri’s heart swelled once you gave him an excited greeting, forgetting the jealousy that pricked him before. “let’s go home.” he stated, sliding his hand down to connect your fingers, giving a light squeeze to your hand before dragging you off. he ignored otoya’s giggle in the background.

“next time just ignore him if he comes up to you.” chigiri broke the calm silence between you both on the ride back to your shared home. you were about to reason yourself when he spoke up again, not giving you a chance to, “he’s got a lot of other girls to talk to, trust me.”

kaiser

- LMAO

- gets jealous only when he sees people he doesn’t know or like interact with you

- but that’s also a lot of people so

- and god forbid isagi ever come close to you

- or if the person you’re with is throwing in light touches

- remember that cocky yet pissed face he showed in one of the chapters? that’s the face he uses.

- does not care if the person you’re talking to is important

- will absolutely use pda. if you aren’t comfortable you either have to immediately drop the conversation or punish kaiser with no kisses or smth for a period of time

- will use insults as well

- just so so obnoxious.

it was after one of kaiser’s football games when he saw this random idiot trying to talk you up. after a shit game of having to deal with isagi and noel’s suckup relationship. after a game that consisted of thoughts about you, just wanting to go home with you. and this is what he sees? he scoffs at the sight before his legs carry him to you two.

“hey babe,” kaiser makes sure to greet you with a pet name, sliding his arm around your shoulders before his hand moves your head to meet him in for a kiss. he peeks one eye open during the kiss, sending a glare to the guy while his lips formed into a smirk at the guy’s shocked face. he departs from the kiss shortly after, his eyes now only on you. “let’s go home and celebrate, yeah?”

he ignores you trying to introduce the guy, pulling you along with him while his other hand flies off in a lazy wave. “don’t care, i’m better.” you could only give him a light push while giving a rushed apology to the guy you were in mid-conversation with before kaiser dragged you away.

nagi

- the pouty type of jealous

- argue with the wall

- hard to get jealous though because frankly he doesn’t care most of the time

- but this situation had been ongoing

- he started picking up on your play flirts with your friends

- at first he thought it was weird but as time went on he couldn’t help but be jealous of your friends

nagi’s lips formed into a frown at the now red screen in front of him. he had been distracted by your coos over the phone with your friend and ended up losing his game. he let out a huff as he looked over at you smiling dumbly while holding a phone to your ear. he was thankful you were saying your goodbyes, quickly tossing his own phone to the side as he crawled over to plop himself on your stomach. he ignored your groan at his weight, head laying down on your chest as he stared off to the side. “why can’t you talk to me like that?”

the blunt question had caught you off guard, eyes narrowing in confusion until you started to think. “you mean flirt? you want me to flirt with you nagi?” he gave a huff at your confused tone before giving a small nod. you couldn’t help the laughter that escaped your lips at his answer. “nagi, you’re my boyfriend why would i need to tell you ‘i’m kissing you through the phone’?”

his head immediately perked up, eyes now meeting yours. “it’s not just that! why don’t you tell me ‘i’m going to marry you’? i should be the one you say that to, not them anyways.” he declared, his frown sinking deeper as you let out another laugh. you pushed your fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp as you gave him a goofy smile. he let out a sigh, his heart easing at your smile before setting his chin back down on your chest. “i’ll marry you better than them anyways.”

reo

- definitely gets jealous easily

- he’s a mix of the pouty jealous and the cold jealous

- definitely pouty with you but when there’s someone else he has to put on a cool look yk

- he happened to walk in at the wrong time once he heard you call someone hot while looking at your phone

- he went smug immediately, thinking it was him you were looking at

- you can only imagine the betrayal he felt once he saw you looking at a picture of one of his teammates

- calls you out on it and he became pouty that whole night, even giving you silent treatment up until bed time

you sighed, crawling into the bed just to notice you weren’t welcome to open arms like usual. now it was your turn to pout, eyes falling over to reo who sat with his body against the headboard, his arms crossed and his head turned to avoid you even more. “reo…you know, i still think you’re the hottest guy on the team.”

you let out another sigh as you were met with silence. you were still determined, nonetheless. you couldn’t go to sleep without reo pulling you close. you decided to crawl up to him, lightly setting yourself down on his lap as your hand moved his head to look at you. “not only that but you’re the best guy on your team. i mean, you can pull off so many cool moves it’s incredible.” you start whispering compliments to him, your thumb stroking his cheek while he finally moved his eyes to meet yours. you still hadn’t won him over, his arms staying crossed. “and you’re nice and did i mention handsome?”

he let out a soft sigh before giving in and wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you close to him. his head falls to rest on your shoulder, inhaling your scent while one of his hands went down to caress your thigh. you let out an excited giggle as your arms threw themselves around his neck, your head nuzzling into his own neck. “i’m also your hot boyfriend who should be the only one you’re gushing over.” you decide to stay silent at his claim, not wanting to take his bait and ruin the moment.

unedited thanks for reading!