#based on feedback i don't think a lot of people realize i made that and it's not a gif from the show lmfao

[cozylittleartblog]

random note about king on that animation, i got really lucky with how simple his animation was and how clean my sketches were to begin with that i was able to do very minimal cleanup on what i had sketched (and add back. his horn. it's supposed to take place just after echoes of the past, Oops) and call it done that way instead of having to redraw the entire thing like i had to on his dad

first sketch > line cleanup > nearly final animation (i'd added slight eye movements last-second but otherwise that's the final)

[akosijayjay]

January and February dump

This is my most recent work of Lloyd, and my most recent work in general. I made this in the computer room at school with a painful high-sensitive mouse. We have these special course thing in our junior high, so every tuesday after class, I get to be in the computer room. For six hours... (My course is Visual Graphics Design. I'm kinda regretting it now since I've been thinking of becoming an architect... I can't change my course now since it's too late. Which is stupid.)

I'll try to draw more there! I really like drawing with a mouse cause I like the challenge. And since I'm not accustomed to a high-sensitive mouse, it'll be a bigger challenge for me!

I made these two in traditional then polished them digitally since I straight up just used a pen. I rarely use a pencil nowadays so I can learn to fix mistakes without erasing it. Usually it ends up looking like chicken scratch but I'm getting better.

My Harumi one is so bad lol.. When I was making it, my classmates around me were messing around and moving the chairs in the process, making me have to draw strokes with shaky lines. It's not that noticeable though since I made the lines thicker.

I was planning to make something for Rebooted's anniversary but I got busy... (And lazy) The PIXAL one was inspired by an animatic I saw.

If you compare the previous Arin portrait, yes, they don't look the same. I'm trying to find a look for Arin, as I do with every character, that I'll be satisfied with.

By the way, I'm kind of basing Arin's hair with my classmate's hair. Which is funny because my other classmates compared this artwork to my classmate, who looked nothing like Arin but have similar hair, commenting they're the same. (I'm not mad because I actually find this a bit humorous)

I was trying to make an animatic and this was going to be the sketch. But then again, I got busy and lazy. (Mostly lazy)

I accidentally changed their facial features a bit by accident on the second page because I forgot to reference the first page. It was tiring flipping pages every 5 seconds, ok! Also, I drew it after 2 days when I drew the first page, and I didn't have a design I liked for them yet. (...I just noticed Jay has different eye colors in both pages...)

I think I'm sticking to these looks for Lloyd. I'll try to make it accurate to this. (I think I did great with the first image of this post. Though, I made him too round for my liking.)

Discard the growing beard post redesign Lloyd has. That beard thing was supposed to be where his chin was until I realized it was too small. And it's still too small.

Child Lloyd is so cute! The eyeshadow wasn't intentional at first, but then it got me thinking, what if Lloyd had an emo phase? And now emo child Lloyd is my headcanon.

Pre redesign Lloyd kind of reminds me of TommyInnit, and I find it quite funny. Maybe it's the facial gesture, I know a lot of TommyInnit fanarts with that silly face.

For Dragons Rising Lloyd however, I want him to have long hair with his post redesign face. I'll try to make full body designs of the 4 Lloyds.

You guys probably don't care, and this is the first time you've seen me because I don't have an exact artstyle and I dont post as much, but I'm going to put descriptions now since this blog is going to be a silly little art dump! And blog posts are supposed to be descriptive. Which I should've done in the beginning and explained my works..

Anyhow

If you liked my art, thank you!

If you saw me before and told me I did well, thank you and I'm sorry!! I know my previous posts have gotten comments and I'm sorry I didn't respond.. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I just don't know how to express my appreciation for your positive feedback! Or just reply in general... I get nervous even when I'm wearing my mask..

Please don't hate me, I'm just really anxious to show my work to people I don't know to the point where I might think people disliked my artwork when it's the opposite..

(I'll probably copy paste this in future posts now lol. But I AM thankful that some of you guys think my works are great!)

[goodluckclove]

How I Critique Writing (A Loose Collection of Tips)

Someone asked me for insights into my methodology when it comes to giving feedback on writing and I realized I had way more than I could say in a reasonable amount of private messages. Are you someone who I've spoken to about their writing? Did someone send you their work and you don't know how to respond? Maybe this will help? Based on how people react I feel like it might be controversial but it seems to work.

When someone sends me their writing, no matter the size, subject or genre, I:

Take it seriously. It's a generational epic about the Vietnam war and its effects. It's a cute, young adult romance. It's Zim and Dib from Invader Zim realizing they've always been in love with each other. All of these things can be written with earnestness, strength, honesty and skill. It's fucking hard to write and if someone writes a single sentence that wouldn't otherwise exist its worth holding in your hands and examining with the same eye as if you were taking an interesting book off the shelf.

Respond with curiosity. It's common for critiques to follow a theme of ambiguous disdain. This doesn't work. Delete this. Bad. No. Gross. Guess what? That's not helpful. If you got that feedback, even if you followed it, you wouldn't be thrilled about it. Oftentimes you can take a line that makes you want to say Bad and ask something else. What is this supposed to express? What were you trying to do here? Am I supposed to feel happy/sad/uncertain when I read this? Curiosity can reframe something that you don't think works as a reader and turn it into an opportunity for the writer to look inward and solve their own problem. They might explain what they were trying to do, and if you were to say that it didn't pan out for you they're way more likely to tweak things themselves and feel like they still have control over their project.

Give comments. I've started giving more in-depth comments on the writing people give me depending on how anxious they are about it. If you're a pretty confident writer I'll give a summary of what I gained and what I was left wondering, what I thought and what I felt, what associations it made me think of in terms of tone and other forms of media - stuff like that. For newer writers, especially those who are far more doubting of their own abilities, I go buck wild. And in my opinion notes should be less like Good! I like this! Wow! Nice! (What are you, grading my book report? No thanks), and more like what you think when you're reading a book you're truly invested in. Make jokes about the characters (Not mean ones. I will send bugs to you in the mail.), chart exact lines that provoke physical reactions, even a small one. Can you imagine reading someone treat your work like it has its own fandom on Tumblr? You can do that for someone else.

Fucking have some fucking awareness of the fact that it might not be for you and that doesn't mean it's bad. I'm angry about this one considering the novel a friend sent me last night that they've been too terrified to try and post online, despite it being fucking brilliant. I'll try and calm down. Listen - you read what you like. I mainly read literary and experimental fiction, some poetry, horror and some sci-fi. Not a lot of genre fiction. But I will always be down to read someone's high fantasy story, because even though I don't really like fantasy I know what the good ones sound like. I've forced myself to gain a sense of what someone else would like, even if I don't like it. And I can still critique it. If I'm a builder and I see a house that's painted a shade of green I find sinful for a home (i.e. mint), I can look past that and focus on the state of the walls and the stability of the foundation. You aren't a reviewer, man. You are neither Siskel, nor Ebert. They write for readers, you write for writers. So you don't like historical fiction? Cool, man. Congrats. If someone trusts you enough to give you some to read and critique, you should still do so objectively. If you give it an automatic F because you wouldn't buy it, then you are legally a stinky little trash man. That's just the law.

Ask them what they liked to write and what was the hardest. There's apparently a weird trend on online writer communities that say there are specific rules that all writers need to follow. This is not true. It just isn't. If the dialogue in a story you read is weak, and the writer says they hate writing dialogue and really struggle with it, maybe tell them they don't have to use it. You might change their entire life.

RESPOND WITH CURIOSITY. You see the Ask games where people try and get more detail on the WIP of certain authors. If you have a WIP and I ask you a worldbuilding question that doesn't relate to the direct plot of the story as it exists now, I bet you'd like to talk about it. If I ask if you were inspired by a certain tone or movie, you might know the work I was talking about and feel happy. Or you might not know it, look it up, and feel inspired. I don't think people realize that a critique of new/unfinished writing is not a one-and-done exchange. You are taking part in an isolated process in a way few other people on the planet will. It's not homework. It's. Not. Homework. We spend so much of our time alone just fiddling our hands and making our magic, and in instances like these we share something in one of the ultimate forms of artistic trust. They're taking you into a world that hasn't fully formed yet. Is it cool? Can you tell me about it? Can they?

Be nice. Storytime, friends. In the way early 2010s, there was something on the internet called sporking. It was pretty much a line by line roast of someone's writing - typically fanfic. And I hate to say this, but I read a lot of it. I was 13, somehow untreated and overmedicated, and I was miserable constantly. Just cold in my chest. At one point I had the chance to critique a stranger's story - probably another child - and I essentially mocked the whole thing. They ended up deleting the story off the website. I cannot begin to describe to you the shame I feel about doing this, even ten years later. It burns in my heart and makes me sick to my stomach. If you are a serious writer, especially a young writer, and you insult another writer's craft to their face just as they're getting started - you will regret it. I promise you that. You will think about holding something alive and full of potential in your hands and squeezing your fists until it is just flecks of meat and crushed bone. It will haunt you. Maybe only a little, but constantly and for the rest of your life. So don't do it.

Wow what a grim note to leave on! That's essentially my philosophy on writing critique, do with it what you will. Want to send me some writing to receive this kind of excessive treatment? Cool! I have an email in my pinned post and I'll do that! I'm also down to chat if anyone wants to send me asks or DMs on writing/writing struggles/publishing tips.

[bangchan-mytruelove]

An Alpha A Bit Different

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Pairing; Omega!Bang Chan x Alpha!Male!Reader

Themes; Omegaverse AU • Fluff • Smut • Angst • Enemies to Lovers(not really) •

General Content Warning; expected stereotypical behavior (for omega and alpha alike), mentions of past trauma, reader has a hard time eating, plot slightly based off of "connected", reader is younger (born in the 02) and taller than chan (about 5 inches/12cm), mention of anxiety attack, reader can't look at his own reflection, reader and chan are really insecure, reader has good parents (shockingly), mentions of hyunlix being canon, minsung mutual pining, harrassment.

Word Count; 2.1k

Summary; Having everything that happened come at him with full force had Chan incredibly embarrassed, especially when he realized he kept (M/n)'s jacket in his room, practically covering it with his scent. This led the omega to lock himself in his room, and (M/n) just so happen to hear him working on a new song that he can't seem to stop repeating.

Chapter 5; Connected

!please, reblog and leave feedback to let me know what you think about this fic~!

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Damn was Jisung right.

A few hours later, while (M/n) was getting stuff ready to cook dinner since Changbin had come back a while ago, Chan walked out of his room all the way to the kitchen with his head down, his ears impossibly red, stopping near him with his jacket in hand.

That same jacket he gave to him the day before at the mall.

(M/n) did notice his jacket right next to Chan's pillow when they were laying in bed, having Chan's nose pressed against his scent glands, relaxing in his arms as he felt his scent.

And now that (M/n)'s jacket was practically dripping with Chan's scent he was extremely embarrassed about handing it back.

With a smile on his face, (M/n) grabbed the jacket from Chan's hand. He opened his mouth to say something, but then Chan had turned around and left the kitchen as fast as he could, heading to his room and locking himself inside.

(M/n) was able to hear Jisung snickering behind and he shook his head side to side, "Hannie, could you make sure nothing burns while I leave this in my room?"

Of course, Jisung whined at him like a little kid at the request, but he did it anyway, standing where (M/n) was as the alpha stepped out of the kitchen and toward his bedroom. Before walking in, (M/n)'s ears picked up a noise coming from Chan's room, without not wanting to interrupt, (M/n) opened his door and entered the room, closing the door behind him.

He rested his back against it as soon as he did, his nose itching to bring his jacket up to it. And he did it.

With shaky hands, (M/n) lifted his jacket up to his face and took a deep breath, pressing the clothing hard on his nose. The shivers that ran through his body made his legs weak, causing him to slide down to the floor, his body shaking and his heart pounding in his chest. But it wasn't arousal what he was feeling.

Even if life partners weren't a big thing anymore, they still existed. People finding the person they were destined to be with... yeah, Gen Z didn't like that, at all. Being bound to someone you know nothing about just because the universe said you're made for each other? Nope, don't like that, that's manipulative.

So yeah, a lot of people view this "soulmate" thing as something bad, having been said that those who are destined to be together will feel an immense attraction, an attraction that is hard to resist. (M/n) believed in life partners, having a soulmate sounded nice, but at the same time, it felt like a curse.

Lowering the jacket to simply press it against his chest, (M/n) released a deep sigh, feeling like he was laying on a cloud, his stomach fuzzy with butterflies, and he couldn't help but wonder by his both reacted this way just now, when he had been smelling Chan's scent since he moved in. It may have been because of the pheromones.

Or the single fact that there still was a bit of his scent mixing with Chan's and that's what made him weak, but he also knew that he was way too interested in Chan, and it hasn't even been a full week since he moved in with them, so of course, (M/n) wasn't in love with him... surely not.

Standing up with -still- shaky legs, (M/n) took a few steps toward the bathroom so he could put the jacket in the laundry basket to wash it some other day, but something in the back of his mind told him to place the jacket on his bed, and that's what he did, without a doubt. Rushing out of his room, (M/n) stopped before fully closing the door as he walked out.

His ears picked up a sound. The melodic sound of Chan singing.

Slowly as to not make any sound, (M/n) approached his room, hearing his voice in the quiet of his room.

"All that I want is you..." (M/n) held his breath, paying close attention to the lyrics he sang, "Even if I'm a fool... Why do I fall for you?" Chan's voice was followed by sounds of mouse clicking, and (M/n) was about to leave, to let him work on his music, but Chan added another line, "No turning back once we're connected."

Taking a step away from the door, (M/n) decided to go back to the kitchen now, Jisung was probably freaking out about not burning dinner anyway, and he left, replaying the lyrics in his head, those now stuck in his mind.

Walking into the kitchen, Jisung looked at him and whined, "Finally! I was about to scream for you to hurry up," holding a chuckle, (M/n) apologized to the omega and took his place to keep cooking dinner.

All the while, his mind was still back with Chan's voice, and he couldn't help but repeat the lyrics to himself over and over again in a low tone of voice, and a good ten minutes later he was done cooking. (M/n) went to Changbin's room knocking on his door.

"Dinner's ready!" (M/n) heard the sound of Changbin rushing out of bed, followed by the door opening and a flash of a black shirt and red pants ran past him straight to the kitchen, where Jisung had been setting the kitchenware and utensils on the dining table after (M/n) told him to before walking out.

And now, the alpha found himself standing in front of Chan's room again. He released a deep breath he didn't even realize he was holding and knocked on the door, repeating.

"Dinner's ready, hyung!"

(M/n) waited for an answer but he only heard the sound of clicking, which let him know he was still awake, just maybe really focused on the song he was producing. He tried knocking again but nothing, so hesitantly, (M/n) opened the door.

Even though it wasn't the first time he was in Chan's room, but it was the second and both happened on the same day. His LEDs were turned on, the light changing from blue to purple to pink, it looked really pretty. (M/n) realized he was getting distracted by the lights, so he got closer to Chan, who was sitting on his deal with his headphones on, focused on the screen of his laptop, working on the music for the song, his stand mic next to him.

And seeing how concentrated he was, (M/n) knew he wasn't gonna hear him if he just called him again, so instead, he placed his hand on his shoulder gently, still startling him.

He lowered his headphones around his neck and turned his chair to see that (M/n) was standing behind him, looking at him with an apologetic look on his face.

"Sorry, I... didn't mean to scare you, hyung," Chan felt his face heating when he saw (M/n), whether it was because of his scent, his embarrassing behavior hours prior, or due to the song he had been working on, he didn't know, and he didn't want to know.

"I-it's okay, did... did you need anything?" He asked, clearing his throat.

(M/n) blinked a few times, his eyes observing Chan's face, enchanted by his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks, at that moment the idea of liking Chan didn't sound so surreal anymore.

"Oh, no, just uh... dinner is ready," he answered, and he swore he saw Chan's expression change into a disappointed one, but it left as quickly as it came, so he wasn't sure anymore.

"Sure, let me just save this real quick, I'll be there in a few," (M/n) nodded and took a step back, maintaining eye contact with Chan who was also doing it.

Something deep inside (M/n) prevented him to leave, and Chan just kept trying to ignore the little voice in his head that begged for the alpha to stay with him. It almost felt like they were drawn to each other somehow. Even so, (M/n) managed to snap out of it and turn around to leave, not noticing the longing look in Chan's eyes as he saw him leave the room, a frown on his face as soon as the door closed.

He didn't like the feeling in his chest, wanting- craving to be close to (M/n).

And having kept his distance when the alpha moved in didn't work, and for some reason, somehow, having slept all night next to (M/n) triggered his pre-heat, after years of not going through it.

At first, after breaking the bond, he became easily sick, and his heat cycles were irregular, coming as often as twice a month or one time every three months, until one day, they just stopped. The sickness and his heat just stopped appearing, as they were never there in the first place.

Medics had told him that not even heat-inducing pills could cure him, fix him, and he hated the thought of being seen as broken.

Chan always knew his scent was a turn off for pretty much every single alpha he felt interested in, and without his heat, his scent became even more bland and unattractive, and his body no longer reacted to any alpha's pheromones.

And then he met (M/n).

Ever since then, his pheromones, his scent, had been going haywire every second of the day, and he figured ignoring the alpha wasn't gonna work, so he stopped. But now, being so close to him made him want (M/n) more, more than he's ever desired someone, and it scared him if he was honest with himself.

His only worry currently was... How was he gonna endure his heat now, all alone? It'll be stronger than ever and he's never been a man to just hook up with any strangers, usually, those poor excuses of alphas couldn't even satisfy his high libido.

Well... he should head to the kitchen before he started thinking about sex.

_____

Dinner time was cheerful and full of laughter and (M/n) was finally able to eat a whole meal without feeling his stomach turning at the sight of food.

He and Chan were sitting across from each other, their bodies heating up whenever their legs bumped under the table, glancing away with flustered expression when either one caught the other staring.

And now, Changbin and Jisung were washing the dishes, keeping quiet, and hearing how (M/n) and Chan were happily laughing in the living room. Jisung frowned but he was still holding back a smile.

"Maybe it worked too well, Binnie hyung," Changbin nodded, also listening to their hyung laughing so openly with an alpha.

"Maybe it was just a matter of time, they kinda work well together," Jisung nodded as well, before coming up with another brilliant Jisung idea.

"How much you wanna bet they end up dating after Channie hyung's heat?" The beta only looked at him disappointed.

"I'm not gonna bet anything when is obvious that's gonna happen, Jisung-ah, my parents are the rich ones, not me," and in complete silence, a pouty Jisung and a nonchalant Changbin finished washing and drying the dishes.

_____

In the lonely darkness of his room, (M/n) let out a sigh, a soft look in his eyes whenever he thought about Chan, his mind freshly replaying the memory of his singing voice.

"All that I want is you..." He sang quietly, slowly, almost as if he was just saying the lyrics, his mind flashing with images of Chan's smile, his red cheeks, and warm, dreamy eyes, and that alone made his heart pound in his chest, "Even if I'm a fool..." Even if he knew he wouldn't have a chance with Chan, he just couldn't help but like him, "Why do I fall for you?"

How couldn't I fall for him, he thought, I had to be an idiot to not devote myself to him, such a wonderful man, he turned on his side, tracing his fingers on the bedsheets, mindlessly drawing random patterns.

"No turning back... once we're... connected," a shiver ran down his spine at the very inappropriate image that clouded his mind and he released an embarrassed groan, burying his face in his pillow, "Think gross things, think gross things, don't be a pervert me," he mumbled over and over again, until eventually, he fell asleep.

[booburry]

WIP Wednesday - Dieter x F!Reader x Javi G

18+; MDNI

I hope to have this one shot out before the end of the week, we will see how much overtime I need to do at work. (Might just tell them to fuck off cause I need to write depraved smut about two handsome boys but I don't think they would understand)

Setup: Dieter & Javier Gutierrez are working on an upcoming project together and, to help with their creative process, they are spending more time together. This results in a dinner with the three of you, something you greatly anticipate because Javi Gutierrez is your 'hall pass'. Takes place a few months after the release of the documentary.

Tags: Sober Dieter, Dieter still being chaotic, Dieter liking to watch, Javi being soft and seduced, Reader being a switch, mention of Dieter touching himself, Reader & Dieter in established relationship

A/N: First time writing Javi, second time writing Dieter. Any feedback you wonderful people have is greatly appreciated as I continue to lead myself into the deep plunge that is Mr. Pascal's rich universe of diverse and ridiculously irresistible characters

Immediately you and Javier dive into a fast paced conversation, Spanish rolling off your tongue as if it was your native language, Javi’s eyes widening as he engaged with you, Deiter immediately drumming his fingers against the table.

He managed to hold in his words a lot longer than you thought he would, given how impatient he normally is.

“I don’t fuckin’ speak that,” Dieter interjected, Javi’s eyes immediately darting to look at him as he leaned back into his chair—you hadn’t noticed how close you both had leaned into each other. With a smirk, you gracefully turned to look at Dieter.

“I would think for a piece like this, you would learn his language.” You pouted to him playfully, but something in the base of your belly screamed at how you would love to hear that beautiful language come out of that man while he had you under him—all the degrading and dirty ways he would speak to you. Javi enthusiastically agreed with a solid and excited ‘Yes!’, regarding Deiter learning Spanish, but you and him weren’t looking at Javi.

You watched as Dieter initially rejected the idea almost immediately, knowing he would have to put a substantial amount of effort into something that was for a single role. It had been a part of his re-instated values for himself when returning to acting while ensuring his sobriety. He wasn’t going to deep dive into the method, and he wasn’t going to get lost in it…he needed to always want to be grounded within himself—or within you.

But as you just watched him, line after line of what you wanted to hear Dieter say passing from one ear to another, you felt your body fill with an insatiable lust for something you could not have but desperately wanted. It was the subconscious bite of your lower lip that made Dieter shift his expression, suddenly realizing that there was a reason to learn such a thing beyond a single role, even if he didn’t know exactly what it was.

“What do I get out of it?” He asked you, his voice lower than his usual tone, matching the darkening behind his gaze, the flare of his nostrils as a corner of his mouth twitched upwards. You smiled, feeling like you had managed to lure Dieter and catch him with your request, now you just had to reel him in.

Slowly you leaned forward, lifting your body from your seat so that the tips of your noses were almost touching. While Dieter was fully focused on you, the world around you two most definitely melding away in his mind, you were very mindful of Javi’s gaze on you both and you couldn’t help but wish to catch two fish with one net.

“You show me what you do with that mouth,” you whispered, your finger raising to run over Dieter’s cracked lips as your eyes followed, before snapping your gaze back to meet his, “and I promise to show you something new I can do with mine.” You saw the relaxation within Dieter’s gaze, a momentary release from the tension you knew was building within his body while also being satisfied with your terms. You knew it drove him wild when you would act forwardly in any public setting, especially one as intimate as this, and his gaze held a promise he would later show you how satisfied your words left him feeling.

“Wow!” Javi exhaled the word like it was his last, exasperated, breath and it reminded you and Dieter to pay attention to the other member of this dinner party. You turned to apologize, wanting to be polite yet desperate to know if you had caught two fish with your little display, and as you saw Javi watch you with childish awe and excitement, you knew it had worked.

His eyes washed over your body as his eyebrows fell into rest as he continued to soak you up, a soft and shy smile twitching across his lips before he looked at Dieter.

“I now understand, my friend, what you meant when we first met.”

All Dieter did was provide a shrug full of self-satisfied pride as you rested back into your chair, brazenly crossing your legs in a way that let both men have a peek at what lay beneath your silken dress—nothing but your beautiful, delicious, soaked and well fucked, pussy.

They both could not help but look, Dieter naturally adding flares and dramatics to his motions, while Javi briefly unabashedly stared before locking eyes with you and giving a few soft, short, and shy nods before quickly casting his gaze to the ground.

It brought a satisfied and endearing smile to your lips as you reached out a hand to rest it on top of Javi’s, giving it a small squeeze of reassurance. It felt impossible how soft his sun-kissed skin was, how warm his hands felt under yours—it all matched his aura and demeanour.

Truly, the man was more enamouring than you could have ever imagined and you could tell the gesture was something he greatly appreciated and responded to based on how lost and lonely he looked when you withdrew your hand, turning your gaze back to Dieter who seemed to be watching the same thing.

“You saying sweet things about me, love?” You ask with a false sense of surprise, Dieter softly laughing before gesturing an open hand towards Javi.

“You wanna tell her what I said?” He asked, pitching his chin to his chest to be able to look at the man above his sunglasses. The posture alone always made your nostrils flare to allow you a deep enough breath to still your heart from beating faster, but it was how you saw Javi squirm at the question that made your thighs clench and pussy quake.

His eyes darted to you as you leaned towards him, purposefully positioning yourself so your plump breasts were pushed up and within anyone’s vision if they were to look at your face. You watched as his throat slowly clenched as he strained to swallow, the tight shirt he wore giving away to the short and shallow breaths he was allowing himself as he gained the faintest red hue to his complexion before he looked back at Dieter as if to clarify if he should.

Your eyes did not leave Javi, so you had no idea what Dieter did, but you assumed it was a gesture or mouthed words, for Javi hesitantly looked back at you bearing a grave expression as if he was about to tell you one of your loved ones had passed away. It swirled a storm in your stomach to see innocent Javi torture himself over whatever Dieter told him about you, which would have been nowhere near the worst and most degrading things he has said about you or to you. Yet you could see it tear the sweet man apart inside, afraid to hurt or offend while what his vision soaked in evoked an opposite desire.

You slowly reached out and placed your hand on his.

“Whisper it to me in Spanish, Javi.” You softly asked of him, your gaze not leaving his while giving him your best ‘fuck me’ eyes. You could see it twist him on the inside before giving a few short, shallow, nods of his head.

“Now I really understand what you meant.” He spoke as if out of breath, his chest rising and falling like he had just run a marathon, yet he still did not repeat the things Dieter said.

“You still haven’t told me what sweet praises Dieter said about me…” You whispered this time as you dragged your index finger over his hand and up his arm, lightly pressing your pointed nail into his skin. Suddenly Javi grabbed your hands and cradled them within his, pulling you from how you had yourself positioned so that he could look at you directly with nothing but an earnest and soft expression of admiration.

“Encantadora...” He whispered to you, but you knew that wasn’t what Dieter had told him because, among the many things he called you that you loved to hear, he would have never described you as ‘enchanting’. “He said you are like a pheromone, irresistibly beautiful and bright, a star from the sky among the mortal man.” Javi continued to whisper to you words you knew definitely would not have come from Dieter’s lips, and the realization of that evaporated your bravado as you suddenly became soft and entranced under Javi’s gaze and praises.

Briefly, the sound of Dieter’s sarcastic, amused, sharp laugh pulled you from Javi, but he squeezed your hands while his face tracked yours as it moved, his eyes always pinned to yours, a soft smile on his delicious lips.

“I did not think a person like that could exist but I finally understand why he made such claims...” Javi admitted, raising a hand briefly to kindly and gratefully gesture towards Dieter before turning his attention back to you. “Look at you, Hermosa, in all of your glory.” He whispered his praise as he continued to acknowledge you with unimaginable awe and disbelief.

The words and expressions were too much, causing you to widely smile and uncharacteristically pull your hand away to cover your face, overwhelmed and extremely bashful from all of his compliments. Silence lingered for a moment, Javi’s hands still gripping your single one, his thumbs delicately drawing circles over the back of it and you only blushed harder.

“No…shit!” Dieter exclaimed with a small slam of the table, before realising his antics and apologizing to the others around them. He leaned into the table, you barely seeing him as you continued to cover your face and look down, trying to search and sense what was going on in your body and mind. “This needs to fucking happen.” He demanded, stabbing his finger into the table with an intense amount of purpose. You felt Javi release your hand and sit back, worried you may have done something wrong and feeling your own sadness at the loss of his touch, you quickly glanced at him only to see he was confused.

But you knew what Dieter was referring to.

“I do not understand, Mr. Bravo, we already agreed to the movie?” He asked as his face pinched into an adorable expression of innocent confusion, as if he had completely forgotten where you and he had been just a moment ago, what sparks were erupting between you two, the carnal desires stoked from your locked eyes. Dieter just grunted, seemingly annoyed with the sweet man’s innocent mind.

“Can’t believe you guys are—Javi, she wants you to fuck her.” He bluntly stated and you watched as Javi’s eyes widened beyond their natural stretch at Dieter and his claim before looking at you. “Love, Javi obviously wants to fuck you…who wouldn’t?” He added the question with a hand lovingly and hungrily running down your back. “And now, I need to fuckin’ see it happen. So…cheque? Cheque, please!”

Dieter looked around the room to see many eyes were now on the three of you after his loud proclamations on how Javi and you wanted to have sex and how Deiter greatly wanted to watch.

“Yeah, yeah.” He groaned while waving a dismissing hand towards a table of four seniors who looked at him with complete disgust. “We’re almost out of here, we just need our CHEQUE! PLEASE!” Dieter bellowed and you had to hide your grin, knowing his fury simply came from his pent-up sexual excitement and tension.

To see you openly flirt with another man, to see you position yourself for him, for that man to show interest in you…that was all a part of the normal fun and games. What seemed to have sent Dieter over the edge into this lustful rage was seeing how Javi’s words affected you in a way his never had.

Thankfully you knew it wasn’t jealousy that fueled his immediate requirement to depart, to see you fucked by his Spanish doppelganger, but was due to the thrill, the adrenaline, along with a growing, desperate, need to see it happen.

He was about to open his mouth to yell again when a waiter ran to his side with the bill. Dieter put his card down on the tray, immediately groaning when the waiter fumbled at the machine.

“Charge whatever, I don’t care. Comp everyone who I fucking offended, how’s that?” He stressed his last word as if taunting the four seniors, ensuring to look directly at the women who still regarded him with sheer horror while the men shrugged as if to say they couldn’t argue with the free meal. “Here’s my signature…” he grabbed the pen from the waiter’s jacket as Javi got up to pull out your seat to gracefully help you up. “Charge whatever the fuck you want, tip generously, whatever, but don’t fuck me over.” He glanced at the shaking waiter, who looked no more than twenty, over his sunglasses before squinting at his name tag. “Kevin, is it?” He paused long enough for the kid to nod. “Don’t fuck me, Kevin!” Deiter stressed before walking away. “I’ll be back tomorrow for my card and receipt.”

And with that, the three of you left to return to the apartment you and Dieter shared. Despite the short walk it was, Dieter had a car called for you all, only so he could sit and watch as Javi couldn’t keep his hands and lips off of you, and Dieter couldn’t keep his hands off his hard and exposed cock.

[fleetwood-cheese]

Phantom Thief Outfit Breakdown

Okay so exactly one (1) person asked me abt my opinions on the phantom thief's metaverse costumes (thank you @waywardsalt) bc I mentioned them in the tags of a poll so now you are all locked into my insane rant abt this topic. Originally this was a power point i made to vent but i realized its too long to post in its entirety (its more than 20 slides long) so you get this monstrosity of a post. I'm going to split this into multiple posts discussing each thief's designs bc there's a lot and it'd be too long; will link each post at top.

Ann - Makoto - Sumire - Futaba - Yusuke - Akechi 2

DISCLAIMER: I am not a designer, have relatively poor fashion sense, and these are largely just my opinions on the matter, obviously people are going to disagree. I'd love to discuss this and get feedback on it but if you're an asshole im not going to entertain you.

Starting with the worst (imo), let's begin with Akechi's black mask costume.

This is, from a purely design and visual standpoint, the worst to me because it simply has too much going on, and all of it gets lost in its attempts to be cool or intimidating. This attempt at being menacing, presumably, is lost in translation and mostly just makes it look uncomfortable, edgy, and sort of goofy.

It seems to be pulling on ideas of knight armor, birds of prey, straight jackets, and the general idea of being trapped or isolated, but very few of these things actually come across in the final design. (It also might have some bondage/bdsm inspiration, but I'm not sure how intentional that is.)

Firstly, the bodysuit isn't well executed here, and is complicated by the fact that it appears to also be booty shorts with matching leggings?? but they're all the same thickness?? This is confusing and goofy, and would look much better split into an actual top/pants combo. Additionally, the stripes add further confusion and lack the appeal of Loki's stripes, who I presume they're trying to tie-in/invoke with them; their diagonal direction certainly doesn't help. To fix this, I would keep the stripes on the top, but have them run up and down, and simplify the pants to solid black with blue piping along the sides. I think this separate top with the straight stripes would also do a better job of communicating a straight jacket than the current costume does.

Another major gripe I have with this outfit is the hems, but especially the pant hems. They're what I can only describe as boot cut and its awful; I grew up with the 2000s boot-cut obsession, and they don't look good on anyone except horsegirls who wear actual cowboy boots underneath them. I understand the frayed pant and sleeve hems are supposed to look unkempt and villainous, but it mostly just looks like he's walked on them. To solve this, I would effectively cover them up by adding armor; extend the boots and claws and give him actual grieves and arm guards to make him look more dangerous, sharp, and combat oriented, and invoke the knight aesthetic to clash with the detective prince persona and its white, ornamental style.

Adding additional armor also helps solve the problem of him looking so top heavy. This costume's huge neck guard and mask are super bulky and make you feel like he's about to break his neck; by adding weight to the legs, its no long all concentrated at his head. If you compare it to actual helmets, I think its roughly based off of the frogmouth helmet, which has one, continuous neck piece like the black masks. I would adapt it to look more like a closed helmet or a armet, which have a similar shape but much clearer plating and hinges and thus appear less stiff and might have better mobility.

My last major gripe is the cape, because it is SUCH a wasted opportunity. The torn fabric, while matching his frayed hems, is so boring; a cape made out of feathers would convey the crow idea so much better, and give him a sort of dark knight fantasy vibe that would look wonderful imo. You could even show the iridescence of the feathers, which would tie well into the black-grey-blue palette excellently. Im thinking something like the cape below, or possibly like the crowfeather set from bloodborne if you want some extra drama.

As for the belt, I'm fairly neutral on them; I could take or leave them really. You could remove them if you wanted to simplify the design, or keep them if you wanted an edgier look or to incorporate more bdsm elements, but in that case I would change them to look more like actual bondage belts and not, you know, normal pants belts.

Overall, when ranking these outfits for my powerpoint, I gave this one dead last placement and a solid 2/10 personal ranking.

[foggyparadisecandy]

I know this is going to sound like I'm bragging or something. The truth is I focus on the negatives way more than the positives and I'm doing my best to recognize and respect my kinder side.

Hopefully it gives some of you who struggle with low self-esteem the motivation to make this shift too. I know how hard it is to see our positive attributes and positive impacts we have on others.

So take this as an example from my life, and see if you can find the things in your life that you can embrace to feel good about yourself.

This is kind of an example of the post I wrote last week about latching on to "real" affirmations to help boost self-esteem. Meaning that we should look at things that are based in the real world and real interactions to build around, as opposed to those statements like "I'm successful" "people like me" "I'm a winner" etc - that, for many of us, our minds will IMMEDIATELY reject because we truly don't see ourselves that way.

Those blanket statements of positivity, well-meaning as they are meant to be, actually end up reinforcing our negative images because our minds say "no ... we aren't that way ... we suck". (go dig up that post for more details - click the "on topic" tag and it's easy to find - UPDATE: Click here for the post).

Anyway ... lol ...

I'm pretty kind and open in my communication styles and do my best to be empathetic and caring. This extends to my work and the people I manage.

I won't go into details but one of my people is leaving our company to go to work for someone else in a few months. I've been working with this person for eight years and mentored and supported their advancement, doing my best to make sure they had everything they needed for success.

They wrote me a very sweet letter last week telling me how much I've meant to them and how I helped them build up their ego and self-esteem. I always made them feel included and important - valued and respected. She told me she and her husband both love me and appreciate everything we've done and how I have supported them both at work and in their personal challenges.

Fuck. NGL I'm so emotional these days, I cried reading that letter.

You never know how you touch other people by just being kind and respectful.

I've been blessed to get a lot of those unsolicited positive feedback messages over the last few months as I've reconnected with old friends. I need to remember these things next time I want to have a pity party or beat myself up.

I hope all of you can think of kindnesses and love you have put out in the world and remind yourself of the same.

I feel we are measured in life by what we put out there.

Be kind to others ... and ... this is the hard one for so many of us ... to yourself!!!

I've started to realize the depths and breadth of my kindness to others. And I've NEVER been kind to myself. Always a harsh word. Always a "why did I fuck up?"

I am changing ... slowly ... it's fucking hard. But I hope you take strength from my journey and see that it is possible. I'm no saint. I'm not some special person.

I'm just kind and caring and empathetic. I know a lot of you are the same. To others. Now flip it around and give some of that to yourself.

You deserve it.

My love to you.

[oliverreedmasterass]

Could you write about how nervous they probably were about performing the new song last night?

I'm so sorry for the delay on this one! I decided to write something based around the Sac show, I hope you don't mind:

Stage Fright

Words: 2.7k words

Warnings: language, drinking, allusions to grief

“LAST DAY OF TOUR!” Josh hollered at the top of his lungs, taking a lap from the back of the bus to the front, and back again. 

“You’re supposed to be on vocal rest,” Sam groaned from his bunk before letting out a loud yawn. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Sorry that I’m glad this hell ride is almost done,” Josh skidded to a stop in front of Sam and crossed his arms. “Don’t piss on my tits.” 

“Piss on your tits?” Sam repeated Josh with a scrunched face. “What the fuck?” 

But Josh was already gone, taking another lap and whooping at the top of his lungs. With the grim acceptance that he wasn’t going to get another second of sleep, Sam pushed himself upright and rose to his feet with a groan. It was just his luck that Josh ran by at that moment and, without a second thought, Sam stuck out his bare foot, tangling it in Josh’s legs so he tumbled to the ground with a loud thud. 

“Agh,” Josh groaned from the ground. “You pissed on my tits.” 

“That’s what you get for waking me up,” Sam said down to his older brother. Feeling satisfied, he stepped over Josh and made his way to the front of the bus, where Jake and Danny were both sitting at the table, quietly working on their tall mugs of coffee. Sam slid into the spot next to Danny and looked over Jake’s head to see Josh slowly picking himself up from the ground and frowning down at the bruise that was already forming on his knee. 

“Are you ready for tonight?” he asked his band members. 

“Obviously not as ready as Josh is,” Danny said after taking a thoughtful chug from his drink. 

“I feel fine,” Jake said down to his feet. 

“You’re definitely nervous,” Sam pointed at his older brother, who reacted with a quick glare. “You’re shit at hiding it.” 

“It’s just been a while since we’ve played new stuff,” Jake started to get defensive. “I don’t want to start accidentally playing the wrong thing.” 

“It won’t matter, we’re playing unreleased music. You could literally play anything and we’d just gaslight everyone and be like, ‘yeah, we totally meant to do that,’” Sam tried to comfort his brother. “You could do a bunch of awful feedback with your guitar and people would probably lose their minds.” 

Jake tsked at Sam’s words and gave his head a firm shake. 

“I don’t think so.” 

“I can’t wait to play the harmonica,” Josh popped up next to the table, making everyone jump. “I’ve been practicing in the bathroom.” 

“We know,” Jake spoke for the table. “We’ve heard you every night at 3am.” 

“I think I’ve got it down,” Josh continued. “Are you ready to become the second best harmonica player in the band?” 

“Sure thing, bud,” Jake gave Josh a hefty slap on the back.

Sam caught a glimpse of Danny and noted that he was a lot more slouched than normal, as if he was trying to disappear into the vinyl seating of the dining table bench. 

“Are you okay?” Sam leaned into Danny’s side to whisper in his ear. Danny slowly raised his shoulders up to his ears. “We can talk later, if you want,” Sam added. 

“Yeah,” Danny said under his breath. 

“Aw fuck,” Jake’s voice raised, capturing everyone on the bus’s attention. 

“What?” Josh asked, grabbing a seat next to Jake. 

“Management didn’t tell me that my name was gonna look like that when I changed my Instagram username,”  Jake whined, holding up his phone. Josh, Sam, and Danny all squinted at his screen and then broke down into laughter when they saw the problem. 

“Jaket Kiszka,” Josh howled, “I can’t believe it.” 

“I never realized my name did that,” Jake frowned down at his phone. “Oh god, so many people are tagging me in memes.” 

“New bus rule,” Sam announced, “We only call Jake Jaket moving forward.” 

“Thank god this is the last show,” Jaket pinched at the bridge of his nose. “Is it too late for me to change it to Jacob?” 

“The damage is already done,” Sam reached across the table to give Jaket a supportive rub on the arm. “I had to deal with all of the iPad kid slander, now it’s your turn.” 

“Jaket Kiszka,” Jaket grumbled to himself, like he still couldn’t believe it.

Danny gave Sam’s leg a light tap and nodded towards the back of the bus. Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at how quickly Danny wanted to talk, but immediately sprung to his feet and led the way without saying another word to Jaket or Josh. 

“Bye, I guess?” Josh called after them. 

When Sam and Danny were in the back, Sam slammed the sliding door shut, giving them their privacy. He turned back around and saw that Danny was standing awkwardly in the middle of the common area, toying with the bracelets around his wrist. 

“Is this about the show tonight or something else?” Sam tried to coax Danny along. 

“I’m scared, Sammy,” Danny said, looking anywhere but at his best friend. “I’ve been so distracted lately, I’m not sure that I’ve got everything down. I really want to play my best, but I don’t know if I can do it.” 

Sam motioned for Danny to join him on the room’s couch adorned in pillows, and they both fell back into its soft cushions. Danny let out a small huff which Sam understood meant that he was starting to get overwhelmed. Danny usually was pretty composed and it took a lot to break him down, but Sam also understood that he had been through a lot in the past week. Sam was beyond impressed that Danny was still playing his heart out in spite of everything, but he had had a gut feeling that Danny was going to crack at some point. 

“Hey,” Sam finally succeeded in making eye contact with Danny. “You’ve got this. Together we make one hell of a rhythm section. Just follow me, and you’ll be okay. You can make it through our new stuff, I know you can.” 

“No pressure,”  Sam caught Danny whispering to himself. 

“How about this?” Sam thought aloud, “We’ll head to the arena early and get some practice in. Would that be helpful?” 

Danny thought it over and finally let out a sigh. 

“That’s a much more rational idea than getting back in bed.” 

“You can get in bed after we practice a bit,” Sam promised him. “And I’m guaranteeing you a really nice meal after the show to celebrate finishing the tour. Whatever you want, it’s on me.” 

“I want In N’ Out,” Danny answered. 

“I was thinking more Michelin star-quality, but thanks for being mindful about my bank account,” Sam said, standing back to his feet. Danny was frozen in place on the couch, lost in thought again, so Sam reached out a hand to help him back up. He noted that Danny’s hand felt clammy and tried hard to think of anything else he could say to make Danny feel better.

“Should I ask if Jaket wants to join us?” 

He was glad that his joke got a small smirk out of Danny. 

“Let’s just keep it to the rhythm section for now. I don’t want Jaket knowing that I might blow things on stage tonight.” 

Sam and Danny snuck out of the bus while Jaket and Josh were distracted, looking through all the Jaket memes that were blowing up their Instagram pages. Sam checked to make sure that the coast was clear and then motioned for Danny to join him as they hustled to the back door of the Golden 1 Center. After getting through security, Danny looked slightly less stressed. 

“Can we run through Sacred the Thread first?” he asked while they walked through the labyrinth of the backstage area. “There’s one fill that I’m really worried I’m going to miss.” 

“Yeah, of course. But we need to do The Falling Sky a few times too,” Sam added. “I’m terrified of that one.” 

“Sam Kiszka terrified? No way.” Danny feigned shock. 

“Hey, I’m not a singer. I’m still pissed that Jaket insisted I take the mic for that song, we all know that he’s the one who’s got the hidden pipes in the group.” 

“It’s your time to shine, Sammy,” Danny cut Sam’s self-wallowing off. “You deserve to have your moment out there.” 

“Watch, my voice is gonna crack,” Sam tried to joke, even though it was a genuine concern. Josh had already started dumping unsolicited advice on Sam to keep his voice feeling fresh and fully optimal for singing, but a lot of it involved chugging down boozy tea, which Sam could hardly force down. “That will especially stink since I made that TikTok saying that I was a man and all.” 

They made their way to the stage and moved to their designated spots, Danny behind his kit, and Sam next to his large amp. Danny was frozen yet again, staring down at his drumsticks like he was trying to set them on fire with his mind, which caused Sam to loudly clear his throat. 

“Yup?” Danny snapped out of it with a startled jump. “Want me to count in?” 

Sam gave him a thumbs up and waited while Danny sucked in a few deep breaths, before tapping his sticks together three times. 

As they played through Sacred the Thread, Sam started to feel more at ease. Like everyone in the band, Danny was a pretty hardcore perfectionist, so it checked out that he would be super hard on himself and doubt that he could play their new stuff. From what Sam was hearing, Danny was hitting every note like it was nothing, even going out of his way to add in some extra fills that hadn’t been included in their studio recording. He caught a few glimpses of his best friend and noted that he was bashing away like each strike was filled with pent up emotions: grief, rage, frustration, fear, despair. The farther they got into the song, the less tense Danny looked, like he was alleviating everything that had been weighing on him. 

When they finished, Sam set down his bass and jumped up on Danny’s platform, giving him a pat on the back. 

“You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about,” he said matter of factly. Danny’s face was twisted, like he didn’t believe a word of what Sam was saying. 

“I don’t know, I think I was out of time in the middle part.” 

“You weren’t,” Sam hardened his tone to make Danny understand that he was being dead serious. “You were on fire.” 

Danny still looked uncertain while he ran his finger up and down one of his cymbals. 

“How did it feel to play?” Sam decided it was appropriate to ask. Danny took a break from touching his kit and stared up at the rafters of the basketball arena. 

“It was cathartic, I guess.” 

“Can we do The Falling Sky?” 

“Might as well.” 

By the end of that song, Sam was feeling more panicked than when they started. 

“Now why do you look like that?” Danny asked, motioning towards Sam’s face, which was darkened in concern. 

“I missed so many notes,” Sam admitted, letting his hands flop to his sides in defeat. “I don’t know how to sing and play at the same time. How the hell does Geddy Lee do it?” 

“It’s not fair to compare yourself to Geddy Lee,” Danny’s voice was soft. He would never tell Sam, but he had been a bit pitchy and missed a few notes when he stepped up to the mic. “Want to run through it again?” 

“Yes,” Sam turned back around to face Danny, his face pale. Danny raised his sticks up and counted them in again. 

By the twelfth runthrough of The Falling Sky, Danny’s worries about not being able to play their news songs well were entirely gone. He could feel that he was in the groove, and every beat was hit in just the right way. In his gut he knew that he could pull things off and have a good time while he was at it. 

Sam, on the other hand, could feel his confidence diminishing like air being let out of a balloon. Each runthrough brought new errors in places that Sam assumed he had down. He understood that he was getting stuck in his head and overthinking things, but he also knew he wasn’t going to be able to relax until he played through the song without an error at least once. 

Much to his dismay, Jaket and Josh had to arrive for soundcheck when they were part way through their thirteenth attempt. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his brothers standing off on the wing of the stage, scrutinizing his every move while he tried to get out his “Woah-oh-oh-ohs”. Sam missed a note on his bass and, with a loud groan straight into the microphone, waved his hand to get Danny to stop. 

“Can we scrap this and play Meeting the Master instead?” he begged into his microphone so his voice rang around the arena. 

“No!” Jaket and Josh both called back to him. “The setlist is final!” Josh added. 

“I hate you both,” Sam replied into the microphone in a growl. Josh took Sam’s frustration as an open invitation to hop on stage and wrap his arm around his very stiff younger brother, pulling him in close with a grunt. 

“Singing is about feeling the music, not thinking about it,” Josh coached his younger brother. “Feel the groove and let the words roll off your tongue.” 

Sam felt foolish but he reapproached the microphone and tried playing a few lines on his bass while singing again. He would never admit it aloud but he was starting to understand what Josh was telling him, and he managed to play and sing a few lines successfully before he messed up again, mostly because he was surprised he had pulled it off. 

“That was good, try it again,” Josh encouraged Sam. From behind them, Jaket plugged his Gibson into his amp and tested out a loud chord. Danny started to excitedly tap on his cymbals. Sam gave it another try and got nearly halfway through before his fingers got tangled and out of time. “You were close!” Josh’s tone was starting to sound a little condescending, in Sam’s opinion. 

“Why don’t we play from the top?” Jaket asked. 

Sam could feel that he was starting to get drenched in sweat as they neared closer to his singing part. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus on Danny’ rhythm behind him, which was flawless. Danny had gotten over his mental block, so why couldn’t he? He was just as much of a musician as Danny. He had pulled off singing and playing in the studio, which was the main reason why Josh, Jaket, and Danny all decided that he could perform live. 

Josh ripped out his harmonica from his back pocket and hunched over it, channeling his inner blues and playing his heart out, obviously having the time of his life. Jaket let out a loud whoop to encourage his twin, and then Sam sucked in a deep breath as Josh finished his solo and placed his instrument back in his pocket to return back to the chorus. 

“You got it, Sammy!” Danny called down from his kit. Sam stared down at his Rickenbacker, said a quick prayer, and then let it rip. 

“YES!” all of his bandmates called out in glee when they finished the song without a single error. Sam flung off his bass in relief and threw his head back to let out a deep, satisfied groan. He could do it. He could make it through the stinking song. They were going to play new music tonight for their fans and, god dammit, it was going to sound good. 

“How long have you been practicing for?” Jaket asked Sam and Danny as he switched to a different guitar. 

“Long enough for me,” Danny announced, standing from his kit. “I’m gonna take a fat nap.” 

“I’m gonna give the boozy tea another try,” Sam gave Jaket and Josh a wave, following behind Danny off stage. The twins watched their bandmates go and shook their heads. 

“Practice more?” Josh turned to Jaket. 

“Absolutely,” Jaket let his guard down. “I’m not ready for tonight.”

“Me neither,” Josh agreed.

[cookinguptales]

I almost wrote a small essay in the tags of that "fanwork as content" post but realized that it would probably be better off as its own post. So now it's... a large, rambling essay. lmao

Like... to preface, AO3 is great, it's a great resource for fandom, it feels good to have a centralized location that works well. That said, there has been a steady decline in how I've felt treated as an author since we switched to an archive-only model of fic.

For people who are newer to fandom, pre-AO3 (and even in the early days of AO3), people often crossposted fic. Sometimes to websites, sometimes to journals (particularly LJ/DW), sometimes to communities, sometimes to kink memes...

AO3, while certainly one of the primary places you could upload stuff, wasn't necessarily where you would get most of your primary interaction about your fic. It was always designed to be an archive, not a social media site.

But since we moved to an archive model (and away from LJ/DW) I've noticed that fic gets almost no traction on sites that actually are intended for social interaction. I'm not saying it's easy for any creator in fandom, but god. The numbers on fic posts are just downright demoralizing.

I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I think I'm a pretty good writer. People seem to really connect with my fic. In multiple fandoms, I've written fic that most people have read and enjoyed, to the point where people have just taken it for granted that if someone reads fic in the fandom, they've probably read something I've written.

All this is to say, I know I've written fics that people like. I know I've written fics that people connect with. And I know those posts still only get like 5 notes sometimes on Tumblr.

I'm proud of my work and I'm happy that it's gotten such a warm welcome on AO3!!! But there are times when I feel like all this means that I could write literally the best fic on earth and still no one would talk to me. People still wouldn't want to interact with me on social media sites.

I wrestled for... honestly, a long time with all this. I had a hard time putting into words why this felt so uh. Bad. Was I just self-conscious about my own writing? Yes, but that's a separate issue. Was I just jealous of others' popularity? Sort of, but it went deeper than that.

I had an issue with a fandom that I don't write in anymore. I got a lot of fanart based on my fic, which was great, which was amazing, there were even fan comics made. Visual media travels better on social media than fic. That's just a fact. And I had to watch as repeatedly, art based on the fic I wrote got thousands of notes while my fic got maybe 12. And I realized the power of social media vs. AO3 because it did get to audiences that weren't familiar with my fic and people started to give those artists credit for my ideas.

I remember watching the tags of those posts because it was occasionally the only way I'd hear feedback on what I'd written (imagine getting one comment and 5 notes on a fic, then seeing dozens of people in the tags of fanart saying that it was their favorite fic in the fandom! it was weird!) and seeing the tags gradually devolve into "oh, this is such a neat idea for an AU, artist OP" or "wow this dialogue is perfect [artist] I love it" and like

It's weird to feel so happy because so many people are enjoying your work in a transformative way but also so unhappy because you have been completely removed from the equation. No one... even knows you wrote those things anymore. You have been removed in favor of a more "marketable" version of your work.

It's uh. It's a bad feeling. I stopped writing in that fandom eventually.

So again, I felt like... idk, like there was no point in me even trying. Because I could write the best fic on earth and still somehow get erased as a person. People would want my "content," but they wouldn't want me.

I think that's what hurt my feelings so much.

What I've realized is this: what I miss is the sense of community. On LJ, you could post a fic, cross-post it to a community, and there would be comments that would become conversations that would become lasting friendships. Not always! But often. I still talk to some people daily who I met through fic on LJ over a decade ago.

In the archive model, there has almost become a death of the author. The me on social media and the me on AO3 are very different; more importantly, it's almost like it's viewed as the "me" is on social media, but the work is on AO3. I am absent. There is only the fic, not the person who created it.

And that's okay, but when you try to combine those two things on social media and it goes over like a lead balloon... idk. There's an odd sense of dehumanization. I don't mean it in like... I don't know, a dramatic human rights violation kind of way. More that I literally feel like less of a human person the way I interact with fandom these days. Like I'm no longer a person who writes fic as a way to connect with my fellow fans and more a "content creator" whose human side is separate from my creation and never the twain shall meet.

(And I'll admit it feels especially galling to be forced into the capitalistic "content creator" box when it's not even a thing I can make money off of, lmao. It's like the worst of both worlds. I feel like if I can't make money off fanfic, I should at least be exempt from capitalistic social trends during its creation.)

I'm not so much complaining about my current fandom; WWDITS has actually been one of the best fandoms for interaction I've been in since the birth of AO3. That's one of the reasons I keep writing stories for fellow fans to read -- many of those fans feel like my friends, and I want to make them happy.

I think that poster was right when they talked about how the pivot from fan to "content creator" has fucked up fandom. There is this sense that we should be treating fandom like a job, often a fast-paced one with no pay. There is this idea that we should be separated from our "content" like you might a worker from their product, and blah blah blah alienation of labor, Marx, I get it, but damn if that isn't a shitty thing to do to your fellow fans who are making art for the love of art.

There are so many things I do love about AO3. I like having a central, organized place to put my fic. I like not having to worry about my work being lost to the ages. I like having an organized comments section I can return to on bad days to cheer myself up.

But I don't like the way that fic has kind of been relegated to a portion of fandom where people aren't particularly social. I don't like the way that authors are separated from their writing. I hear people complain sometimes about A/Ns because god forbid an author leave any trace of their actual personality to distract you from their content.

I can't have DMs with someone on AO3. I can't add someone to my friends list. There are no "beloved mutuals." There is just my work and the people who are kind enough to comment on it, even if they never actually engage with me elsewhere.

It's... a weird feeling, to feel so loved and unloved at the same time. Like you keep writing trying to make something good enough that people will talk to you but like. That's really not how it works. lmao. The best fic in the world won't make you friends anymore. It won't make people see you as a fellow fan rather than a pen name under a title.

My fic is some of the most personal stuff in the entire world, but my personhood is stripped away from it. It's so fucking weird. People like my fic, but they don't like me. They remember my stories but not the person who told them. It's bizarre. It feels like having your life and experiences strip-mined for content, and then the rest of it is just... left behind.

Frankly... I work in the publishing industry IRL and I have had opportunities to write professionally. Real, tangible opportunities. But I turned them down because I've seen it, the way that trying to fit such an intensely personal art form into a capitalistic framework can be exhausting, dehumanizing, and stressful. I don't want that for my work. Fandom has always been an escape from that.

But now fandom is starting to conform to those exact same capitalistic frameworks (and ofc without any kind of capitalistic compensation) and I hate to see it. It's so stressful. I feel like we're losing a lot of what makes fandom fun for writers and we're getting pretty much nothing in return. I'm not surprised that so many writer friends I know in fandom have quit.

like damn, I just wanna have fun with a bunch of dumbshits who love to overanalyze vampires and cry over their dumbshit shenanigans, not take on a second job. one that, I reiterate, I am not being paid for.

(Note: I am not asking for payment, just that I not be treated like a worker. The tradeoff for treating someone like a worker is that they get compensated for it. If I'm not being compensated, no one gets to treat me like this is my fucking job.)

It's a weird thing, because for a lot of people, fandom has become their job. Fanartists at cons selling fanart, youtube essayists making money off videos, professional cosplayers with sponsorships, etc. And so fandom is becoming more corporate, more capitalistic, more marketable. It's frustrating for those who don't want to capitalize on our fannish output, and doubly frustrating for people who are legally unable to do so.

I'm realizing as I write this that I'm most upset about the nonconsensual capitalization of fandom, particularly when imposed on people who are unable to access the very meager benefits of capitalism. I didn't ask for any of this!

Feels like when I'd be forced to go to assemblies for the US military when I was in high school. Like I'm morally opposed to all this but I'm also not physically fit for "service" anyway, so it's doubly insulting. I feel like I've been opted into the, ah, corporatization of fandom when I'm not even eligible for employee benefits. None of this should even apply to me! ;;

Okay!! I'm all het up now so I'm gonna go eat lunch and go for a walk! No monetization of hobbies, only trees.

[windvexer]

waait. how do you actually consistently go from the basic divinatory interpretation to the nuanced and detailed one? currently this level of detail is Exactly what im trying to accomplish. im happy with the feedback i get and the last year and a half ive done more progress than i did in 7 years of reading casually but i lack that oomf.

did you base this on a very specific card combo? is it something that you and your divinatory spirit have agreed on specifically? whats the actual process? btw just wanted to say thanks for posting such consistently cool stuff 🍻 invaluable

Hi! Great question.

I worked heavily with Mystical Origins of the Tarot by Paul Huson during this process, exactly because it cuts through quite a lot of the fluffier nonsense we now see with cards.

When I started developing my notes, I sat down and decided that I would only include statements which were specific enough that they could not apply to a majority of situations.

In more modern texts, almost any card can be applied to almost any situation because the meanings are like, "this is a good time to start a new project! Power is around; is it your power, or someone else's power? Maybe your project should be contemplating power!"

Which is encouragement that applies about equally well to someone deciding what career path to take as someone trying to figure out how to elude the police in a murder investigation.

So the actual process, the lighthouse that was my beacon into a harbor of meaning, was that the meanings I generated must be so specific that a seeker could easily say, "sorry, that's not what's going on with me at all."

Which has made reading a lot easier and a lot more accurate.

Like, if you think of a note to add and get anxiety about it being so specific that seekers would immediately know you're wrong, you're on the right track.

So, as an actual process, I'd open up my word processor, read the entry in that book mentioned above, and start with a few key words.

Ace/Swords Key words: Authority, triumph, and conquest. Borders and confinement, and overcoming them.

I based the key words off of historical meanings of the cards, but also based on my own feelings about the card.

I worked on these notes by contemplating card meanings, exploring my own ideas about the cards, and also trawling modern meanings (after all, people have had great ideas about tarot since the early 1900s - no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater).

Then, I created my notes structured as sentences that might actually be said to a seeker.

Meanings: Do not trust that person. Are you actually helping, or are you steamrolling the victim? No, they're not going to apologize. You're making up a lot of stories to justify your bad decisions, but this time your friends are right.

(**the above meanings I made up for this post; don't add them to your personal notes about the Ace/Swords!)

I added notes until I felt every facet of the card had been explored. I often went back and edited old entries. Often, when working on a new card, I'd realize that it overlapped too much with a card I'd already written up, or that it gave me new opinions on an old card. In these situations I worked with both entries until I was satisfied that the cards were all represented in a unique way.

Some cards ended up relying almost entirely on historical meanings. Some cards ended up being much more modern. Others ended up being a lot less based on external sources at all.

I also took care to note down omens/portents when possible. "This card is an excellent omen; success is assured." "This is one of the worst omens in the deck - there is nothing you can do." And so on.

When I worked with my spirit, he directly told me what to type. A lot of his meanings were much more biting than mine were. He's a very direct guy.

Because the meanings are so direct, reading has become easier - it's a bit like sliding panes of glass over each other and finding the places where the light shines through; the thread of truth common to all cards.

Now, all that being said - I rarely work completely within this system. When actually doing readings, I also use other various methodologies to interpret the cards.

Knowing lots of methodologies of reading tarot is IMO like speaking many different dialects. It's all one language, but as a translator of the cards, you can pick up so much more nuance if you know more forms of the language.

[hotxcheeto]

Hello !

Since you do write for Caitlyn I hoped to request some poly Caitvi headcanons of them with a s/o who's childhood was tragic/sad so their inner child comes out too often in their adulthood?

Some ideas of their behavior would like: buying toys out of impulse, getting distracted by any bug on their way, making cute outfits for plushies, gets super excited around pets (literally adore them) and when they fuck up is really obvious cause they get all quiet and anxious thinking the worst over little things.

So yeah that's the vibe I'm going for😎.

I'm writing a character and I need some feedback to be honest. Hope you can help me !

━ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃 / 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐘𝐍

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Vi x G/N!Reader x Caitlyn Kiramman 

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, alludes to rough childhood, mentions of arguments and being judged, mentions of fear of doing something wrong, alludes to anxiety, mentions of overthinking, I think that's it?

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I hope you enjoy hun! I based some of it off my own experiences but it's also 430am rn so I did my best lol! thank you darling! i hope your character writing is going good!

Let's be clear, these two are amazingly great with taking care of you, even before you told them about some of your 'issues' as you used to call them

Caitlyn was the first to notice, once you both began spending a lot more time together

She knew you'd dress up cute, you put in a lot of effort into your appearance and you reminded her of a little shop doll dressed up among the other girl, boy and other dolls she'd seen

It was fun and a bit different from the sophisticated nature that comes with Piltover

Also loves your stuffed animal collection, but maybe not as much as you

She finds it adorable you treat them like your children and Vi, well when it comes to Vi she very much indulges in it

Listens to you when you name each one and tell them both their backstories and go into details about their birthdays

They remember them too

Vi loves you so much though, since you're helping her heal without even realizing

You don't care when she snuggles up under your blankets around your teddy bears and talks to you quietly while Cait makes you all tea to drink

It makes her feel like a child, and you don't mind either because she's listening to you and actually interested in you

Cait tucks you both in after you fell asleep reading a book together with you telling Vi the entire story and Vi finding you very pretty to look at

All cuddled up in her giant bed made to fit the entirety of your plushies she made sure to cuddle you both immediately after

They both always make sure you're comfortable with things as well, getting overwhelmed in public situations isn't new for you

They're very overprotective of you

Especially around other people who notice that sometimes you'll act childish and point out something cool to one of them

Whether it be a pretty butterfly or a street performer you found so awesome you had to tug on Caitlyn's sleeve to show her

Vi doesn't have any of it when someone is rude to you, that's for sure

And Cait focuses her attention to you always and makes sure you're alright at the time

They knows you mean well, even when it can get frustrating and they're trying to focus and you're wanting attention

But they'll never ever tell you because it goes away within a few seconds when they see that smile on your face, and it was like they never felt it at all

You'll bring them things while they're busy and they'll always stop to listen to you go on about whatever topic popped in your head

or to see whatever cool toy or trinket you'd brought home

Vi had accidentally been a bit rude to you one time on accident before and felt awful for it

Did EVERYTHING to make it up to you, and I mean EVERYTHING

She felt so bad

You cried for five minutes before the ice cream she offered became a bit too enticing along with the bear hug she gave you

You forgot about it after honestly but she still thinks about it

Lets you sit on her lap all the time because you like the comfort it brings

It makes you feel small and she holds you nice and tight in her big arms with her head resting on your own

Vi loves to love you and you're so sweet to her it makes her feel undeserving

You'll hug and sit with her always

Seeing her as your biggest and best teddy bear

Hearing you say that nearly made her cry

When you give her special nicknames and kisses whenever just because you know she loves you and it makes you feel good that you're making her happy

Caitlyn gives me motherly vibes and it unintentionally goes to both you aswell

You when you're sad and want her to sit you on her lap and hug you close

Or make you food while you kick your legs back and forth sitting on the counter telling her about what you and Vi seen around the city while she worked

Vi loves taking you to a cupcake shop nearby

Speaking of that, they love bringing you pretty sweets home to see that light on your face

They love it

And you love it because they're thinking about you and you weren't entirely used to that

You just love making them happy, and you know why and where it stems from, but it makes you happy

Vi loves when you talk about everything when you guys walk together down the street

Every little thing, you'll bring it up

She has this game where you'll point at people and come up with life stories for them

She'll have you giggling for hours, ready to pee your pants from how hard your laughing

And when you walk into the toy store to 'just look around' Vi finds herself paying for a few new stuffed animals and maybe a few dresses and suits for them

And a little tea set that you couldn't pass up

Walking down the street holding a ton of bags while you're carrying a fancy little box with your cups in it

A smile on your face as you talk to a few kids on your way

But it's all worth it

Though, that's the good side of it all, the cute side they love

But sometimes Caitlyn and Vi argue, it's VERY VERY rare if impossible that you're in an argument with them mostly because you just don't argue

But they do, rarely, but it can get bad when they do argue

You feel stuck between them both, but they'd never ask to make you choose a side unless you say something

You don't though, afraid that you'll hurt the other and they'd hate you for it

It's like being stuck between two parents arguing

You hate it when they're mad at each other, even if it's not for long because by the time night rolls around you're all snuggled up in bed tracing skin and pressing light kisses against your cheeks

Or sometimes you mess up

Like the time you broke one of Caitlyn's favorite glass teacups

You wouldn't look at her, afraid of what you'd see when you finally told her

She'd been asking if you were okay for at least an hour

Wouldn't say a word to Vi while she watched the interaction, you just stared at the floor

But they were just glad you were okay, Caitlyn didn't care about the cup she thought you were hurt

You were a bit shocked to say the least but it made it easier to come to her when you did something you deemed bad

But to your surprise, she was never mad

Sometimes she'd even laugh, and get you back to your good mood by making you smile

And when you overthink too much about something you did she sits and talks you through it the entire time

Vi can tell when you're lying to her very easily

So when you're overthinking about something you said, or maybe a small thing you did to one of them or to someone else

She talks you through it all like Caitlyn taught her

Because she knows you're freaking out quietly over nothing

But to you it's everything, in the moment anyway

Until she reminds you that she'll beat anyone and everyone up and she's got you laughing and Caitlyn smiling from across the room

Vi's good at distracting and desire

Caitlyn's good at calming and comforting

They're perfect for you, because they take good care of you and you take great care of them

[taldigi]

Do you take a Watsonian or a Doylist approach when you salt on Miraculous Ladybug?

Both. But I think any story needs to be considered from a doyalist perspective first and foremost. It's important to realize what the showrunners are intending to tell and then to acknowledge how the characters are embodying the story..

It's good to judge that the dish that you were being served is the one that they said that they would serve first, and then judge it based on that... If the chef says that the special is lasagna and I order the lasagna and then they plop down a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs in front of me... I'm going to be judging that first. And then maybe I'll consider judging the quality of the actual bowl of spaghetti but... I didn't come here for the spaghetti and meatballs I came here for the fucking lasagna. And you just can't say oh well it's pasta and tomato sauce and meat, It's basically the same dish. They were intending to make it like this, and if you had just looked harder than you would have realized that this was intended all along... why are you upset? Like no come on. It was promised to me that I would get lasagna. You can't gaslight me into this. Just because the chef decided at the last minute that they didn't feel like making the fucking lasagna and that they ended up serving me something with relatively the same ingredients that it's good enough. Like no man come on. I'm not going to just be happy with it. Besides, they put in a spice in the meatballs that I don't fucking like I might just even be allergic to it you don't fucking know!

It's... It's frustrating because I know and I see what the writers are trying to do. But like... Just because I know what they want to do and I see what they're trying to do... Doesn't excuse the fact that they failed. It doesn't excuse the racism. It doesn't excuse the bad lessons it shows and the bad character development and just everything bad about it. Intention means a lot. But intention isn't everything. And in the end the writers are the puppeteers of the story. It was their choice to make things happen in the story, it was their choice to make the characters act the way they were, and it was their choice to be ignorant of criticism or to willfully ignore an aspect or even include something really tasteless because I know they thought it was really really funny.

And these aspects can ruin something that might be innocuous in the show. A lot of people think that for example, the little weird flirts between the main two characters are cute and bantery but like if you look at the show as a whole and the way that the show runners act and just how they treat things in general, a lot of that falls apart. It's not funny it's harassment. It's uncomfortable. But they think it's funny they think it's quirky or they think it's a cute little nod to the fan base when it's not. And I think that the fact that the intention can warp these things so heavily means that this stuff is stupid important to the narrative.

I don't care what the fuck Lila does. I don't care what Chloe has done or what kind of decisions she made in the narrative. And I don't care that the writers tried to frame the things that some characters have as good things when in reality they were not. What I care about, is the fact that the writers made those decisions for them, and a lot of it comes from a lack of proper feedback or representation on the writing staff.

Nino didn't stalk his girlfriend. The writers made him stalk his girlfriend and it completely destroyed his character. And they failed to acknowledge the fact that it was a really fucked up thing of him to do. It made him seem distrustful , abusive, and manipulative. Lila didn't frame Marinette. The writers made her do it, and now she's literally the most hated character above actual white man and terrorist and grave robber and murderer Gabriel because the writers also decided to give him a very sympathetic stance in the story. Alya didn't bully Marinette into revealing her identity, the writers made her pressure her into it because they wanted to introduce a dynamic but they fucked it up and now it's toxic. Natalie didn't suddenly develop a conscience, the writers gave her one and now she's a sympathetic character after literally committing murder and being an actual compliance to terrorism.

But people don't like to think about the media they consume. They just want to consume and they don't want to feel pressured or or guilty about consuming something that might not exactly be good for them. So they brush it off or they try and frame it is something else because "don't bully me it's something I like let me like what I like." Or " this is my comfort show so I'm allowed to enjoy it without scrutinizing it because reasons." that's fine right? I like shitty media. I like objectively bad media. But I'm also aware of how to criticize that media and acknowledge its flaws.... Or at least try to.

Sorry I'm kind of rambly about it, I'm in a very bad mood right now.

[disappearinginq]

5, 7, 13, and 20 for fanfic asks?

5. Fic most proud of writing This is a toss up - because I am one of those people who likes their own stuff a lot. :-D But, one of the Big Three: Damnatio Memoriae from the Lucifer fandom, Running Up That Hill for Agenst of SHIELD, and Wrong Side of Heaven for Magnum 2018. Mostly for different reasons, but they all have the same vein of "I got mad at canon and I fixed it".

Lucifer was a roller coaster for me - I loved season 1, season 2 was okay, 3 made me want to throw something at the screen 90% of the time, season 4 WAS EPIC, and I gave up halfway through season 5 and never finished the series. Damnatio was written because I wanted much more involvement of the supernatural, not just a therapy/self discovery mixed in with crime of the week. Also, being raised adjacent to Catholicism, I was getting really irritated that they weren't even using the comic lore, and missing the basic fundamentals of the sources they were pulling from. This story had a lot of reader feedback, to the point of it being almost choose your own adventure. As it went on, I would ask readers to pick from two options that I had rolling around in my head, and it actually worked really well to keep the ball moving with my writing.

Running Up That Hill was again another one where I just got mad at canon, but because I don't like the narrative of "these people are exempt from moral standards while this person is Wrong No Matter What", and I probably would've let it slide except the issue I had was that the one that Wrong No Matter What had all of his life changing trauma as a child and then had it reinforced his entire adult life. Everyone else was an adult when Bad Things happened, and I don't like the hypocrisy of saying "get over it" to someone who legitimately doesn't have the toolset to do that.

Wrong Side I love because this actually was my first foray into something that had no supernatural elements to it whatsoever, and based firmly in reality, and a reality I knew pretty well. I wasn't a huge fan of how the TV show just glossed over the fact that these guys were POW's for a year and a half of a terrorist organization that tortures and kills people with such violence that they became a whole new subsect of terrorism. Like, no, these guys aren't just going to walk away without an issue. And the fact that they were sold out by someone who said to have loved them? AND THEY HAVE NO FALL OUT FROM THIS?! Get fucked, shitty narrative. Suicide in the veteran community is at a high not seen since post-WWII, and these fuckers have the audacity to suggest that you're just being a little bitch if you can't acclimate to civilian life.

7. Favorite ship to write Well, that's pretty easy - none. Romance is rarely done well, and I have never liked anyone enough to relate to the narrative of "Well, I'm throwing all of my friendships out the window because now I have a RomAnTic InTereSt" and it irritates me to no end. if anything, my favorite ship is between Captain Kirk and the Enterprise.

13. Latest fic written/last WIP? A fix it fic for Yellowstone that showcases the brothers Kayce and Jamie, and because I am on a western kick, research for a Magnificent Seven fic that will likely never see the light of day, but I still love the show and the characters, where Ezra (the gambler from Georgia) is a spy for the Union during the Civil War.

20. Hardest Character to write/get the characterization right for? The female characters written by men. And I realize that sounds really weird, but because I swear to god men don't understand being a woman, they're just shit at writing them, and they say/do the dumbest things because guys would do that shit, or, worse, the guys writing the character are using them as hyperboles for women they think did them wrong. And then because the writers don't understand them, I can't understand them, and they wind up being the people that in real life, I'd want to hit with my car. Beth Dutton is a great example of this - some of the things she says that I know are supposed to come off as "strong, powerful woman" make me physically recoil and hide my face with a pillow while watching because What the fuck nobody would ever say that and it's actually cringeworthy. Until women started getting involved in the writing process for Magnum and Lenkov was fired, I absolutely wanted to stab Higgins in 90% of her scenes. Post Lenkov - I actually found her really sweet sometimes, and actually relatable.

That being said, the other ones that I'm not good at because it is so far outside my sphere of comprehension are characters like Angie or Dani off of Will Trent and Prodigal Son. I love those characters, they are complex and unique and I love them, but I don't have relatable experience to them at all, and they are some of the hardest people I have tried to write (which is why I don't have fic in those fandoms even though I love them).

[shadowmaat]

It's only going to get worse, folks.

Mullenweg says that users might start with just a Tumblr blog but then, over time, want to expand into something larger — an e-commerce store, a more customizable site, a newsletter or a membership site — and Automattic could direct users to other products it offers that allow those possibilities, like WordPress.com or WooCommerce, and others. “I’m excited about that on-ramp as well as to bring a younger demographic and young people into WordPress,” Mullenweg noted.

It was never about "saving" tumblr, it was about driving more traffic to Automattic.

And yeah, that "younger demographic" thing comes up a couple of times. It's part of the base code of the internet: the "younger demographic" is the only one that matters. Which is stupid, since your "younger demographic" becomes your "older demographic" over time. AKA your long-time userbase. Why the hell would you want to alienate the people who've been with you forever in order to chase the youngers? "They have more disposable income" is a lie that needs to finally die.

Mullenweg is also severely disconnected from reality when it comes to "AI."

“For Tumblr…I think it can make our developers a lot more productive…the code could be checked by AI or tested by AI or something like that. So that’ll allow us to do a lot more with the same or fewer developers, which is really exciting. So maybe our pace of development can increase,” he said. Plus, AI can be a help in moderation, flagging things before they’re even reported by Tumblr users. In addition, AI and machine learning could make the Tumblr feed better and more personalized to end users. “You can tweak it and it can really learn the things you want to see and the friends you want to follow,” he said. The exec was also generally bullish on generative AI as a tool for artists, which may benefit the community that uses Tumblr, but didn’t note that Tumblr itself would build gen AI tools.

I feel like Staff is just as under threat as the rest of us with this. He's gonna try and save money by potentially cutting staff and relying on "AI" to handle coding checks and moderation. Yeah, because robomodding has worked so well in the past. /sarcasm

He also seems to have missed how much "AI" is loathed by artists. Like, yes, it can and has been used as a tool to help artists create their own unique works, but it's far, FAR more commonly used as a way to steal the work of others, tweak it, and regurgitate it as something "new" with no actual artistic changes made by the non-artist end user.

This is the future of tumblr. No wonder our feedback goes unanswered. It also seems I was right in guessing that being a long-time user is considered a bad thing: we're "old" and the only ones that matter are the "young."

Huh. I wonder if any of that plays into the under-20s believing the over-20s don't belong here.

ANYWAY! Now's a good time to mention that Pillowfort isn't owned by corporate sponsors and works well as a blogging platform. Dreamwidth is also out there, but reminds me more of Livejournal than tumblr in its mechanics.

Damn. I knew tumblr was taking a downward trend but I didn't realize we were already circling the drain.

[laceratedlamiaceae]

#

Hey, I really love your posts about Izzy (and for introducing me to the idea of CJizzy, honestly hadn't occured to me before), but I'm curious how you feel about the show as a whole... You've mentioned that you don't like Ed or Gentlebeard, so what kept you watching S1 until you, how do they put it these days, fell into the Izzy Canyon? Or did you fell in love with Izzy's character from the very first watch? If so, props to you, that's honestly impressive, I think most of us only started liking Izzy from our second rewatch or even later!

Yeah! So, to start with, I feel the most draw to participate in fandoms for media that I feel just okay about--if it's something I love, then I'm not interested in transformative works or headcanons or anything like that, because the source material stands on its own to me; and of course if I just don't like something I don't really want to engage with it at all. OFMD falls perfectly in that space between good and bad for me, where there's so much to like--just the concept of gay pirates is already amazing, and then you have so many interesting, compelling characters, and the vibes of it being a romcom--and then there's stuff I don't like, which as you noted is mostly Ed.

I can appreciate that Stede and Ed are a compelling, well-written love story, and absent my personal feelings about them I think they're a great couple; it's just that there are so, so many different things about Ed that I, personally, feel very strongly about (in a bad way) that brings the show from being amazing to being just okay in my eyes. My first watch I actually did like him and the main relationship; what I think happened--and I know this sounds like a joke, but I haven't been able to come up with a better explanation--is that I was so distracted by how attractive I found him that I didn't really notice Ed's personality. Later, when I was rewatching the show, I realized that he of reminds me of a lot of different people who I've disliked for various reasons, on top of just generally having the type of personality that I don't really vibe with, and then I got caught in a sort of feedback loop where seeing him at all kind of annoyed me, which made me dislike him more, which made me even more annoyed to see him at all, and so on (aka the bitch eating crackers phenomenon; Ed is a supreme BEC to me).

Izzy is actually the other big issue I have with the show--he's too interesting and compelling for what his role in the story demands, and that's why I was so drawn to participating in the fandom; I wanted to give him the attention I felt like he deserved. I liked Izzy from the beginning, I thought he was funny and relatable, but it wasn't until a rewatch and noticing the way he and Ed interacted (which is one of the many things about Ed that hit way too close to home for me) that I started to become an ardent #izzydidnothingwrong truther. I didn't get to that point completely independently, though; the other Izzy Enjoyers back in the early days of the fandom definitely helped.

And again, I do want to stress that me feelings about Ed are just my personal feelings, based on my own bullshit, and I don't intend to make anyone who does like him feel bad about that.

[mbti-notes]

Hi, ENTJ here. I am 24. I have read a lot of books on the subject of communication, being liked, etc. I have many long-standing strong friendships, but I don't feel that I am likeable in a group. I feel that I do great in a relationship with another person if it's been going on a while and if it's 1-1. I also have the impression that most of the books and your posts are about 1-1 communication, maybe incorrectly. How could I learn to function in groups? Will I ever be able function as Fe user?

Your question is too vague. Relationship dynamics, group dynamics, and communication skills are three separate and very broad subjects in psychology, so there are many ways to approach them, depending on the issue you want to address. I need to know which angle you're approaching them from. You haven't even specified whether you're talking about personal or professional situations. It's not very useful to say you've read a lot of books because they could be terrible books for all I know. Explain why you felt compelled to study this. Describe the issues or problems you wanted to address. Specify what kinds of groups you are concerned with. Provide an illustrative example of how you performed poorly in a group.

What are your strengths and weaknesses in communication? Most people don't realize they're bad at communicating until they run into a practical problem or get negative feedback. The majority of the questions I get from readers are about intimate relationships, family relationships, or difficult work situations, so the book recommendations reflect these common concerns. While most of the cases happen to be 1-1 communication, the basic principles outlined in the books are also very applicable to group communication.

Group communication isn't as common as 1-1, so it doesn't get as much attention. But you are correct in suspecting that there are important differences between them. Some factors to be aware of:

I. Complexity

What makes a "group" different than a mere collection of individuals? It may help to think of a group as a system made up of parts. In systems thinking, understanding the parts is not enough to understand the whole, because the whole is a bigger and brand new level of process. Even if you were to have good 1-1 communications with every member of a group at the individual level, it doesn't necessarily help you understand what's really going on at the larger group level.

Groups are much more complex for a variety of reasons. In purely practical terms, you are exposed to a lot more information. In a 1-1 encounter, you only have to monitor one relationship. It's taxing enough to attend to all the feelings, needs, and preferences of two people, and then try to steer the relationship dynamic in a positive direction. In a five person group, there are 10 relationships to monitor. And a 20 member group? 190. (Please check my math because it's not my strong suit, lol.)

The larger the group, the more complex, because the number of interactions increases exponentially with each additional person involved. Thus, it's easy to get overwhelmed in a group just based on the sheer amount of information there is to process in real-time. Most people don't have any theoretical understanding of groups, so they can only try their best to cope with information overload through: selective attention, being more passive or more aggressive, or remaining oblivious.

If you want to communicate well in a group, it's not enough to just work on your personal communication skills. Compare how you speak with a stranger versus how you speak with a spouse. Do you adjust the way you communicate based on who you're talking to? There should be a lot more going on, psychologically, when you speak to someone you're very close to. Analogously, in a group, there's a lot going on at the group level and you need to be aware of it in order to navigate it effectively.

The study of groups is interdisciplinary, touched upon in fields like: interpersonal psychology, organizational psychology, sports psychology, sociology, anthropology, education, political science, criminology. Since I don't know your angle, you can look up books about "group dynamics", "group process", "teamwork", or "community building" if you're interested in fortifying your theoretical knowledge. (I've added two book recommendations to the resources list for anyone interested: 1) Small Group and Team Communication, and 2) Group Dynamics.)

For ENTJs to learn well, they have to establish a proper balance between theory (Ni) and practice (Se), rather than leaning too heavily toward one or the other. As a general note, loop prone ENTJs tend to be resistant to theory because they don't have the patience to work out the complexities of how to apply it properly. They want communication to be as simple and straightforward as they imagine it could be. Unfortunately, reality is more nuanced and complicated.

II. Content vs Process

To be a good communicator, you have to be capable of paying attention to two different aspects of meaning:

The content is concrete and straightforward. It refers directly to what is being communicated about.

The process is abstract and more difficult to define and interpret. It refers to "indirect" things such as: how the communication is going; how the communication is being experienced; what is being implied; what is being assumed; what the relational dynamic is; what is affecting the relational dynamic and why; etc. In the case of groups: the status of group cohesion; whether group goals are being met; whether group strengths are being realized; whether group weaknesses are being addressed; whether individual members are participating properly; etc.

Ts who haven't learned good communication skills tend to focus exclusively on the content of what is being said and only respond to that. They tend to be more blind to the "human" (for lack of a better word) side of communication that happens "between the lines".

A very simple example: You asked a colleague "How are you?" and they replied with "I'm fine". Do you just go with the content and believe the literal meaning of the words? Or do you take time to notice things like: their unsmiling facial expression, the almost imperceptible sigh at the end of the sentence, how their vocal pitch rose to imply that there's more to the story (which invites you to probe further)?

Cognitive functions aren't skills, so don't confuse cognitive processing with cognitive abilities. I suppose you mention Fe because of its facility for tapping into people's feelings and emotions. But it isn't necessary to have Fe to socialize well. Oftentimes, all you have to do is open your eyes and ears, as with the above example. The majority of communication is nonverbal, so learn to read facial expressions and body language as strong clues. Beware that wanting to become/imitate another personality type has the potential to harm your psychological well-being if it leads you to devalue your type or lose self-esteem (aka "type envy"). There's more than one way to do things and it's important you find the way that works best for you, by honoring the gifts of your own type and using them to find the right gateway into learning a skill.

It may be useful for Te to think of speech as an "action". When you communicate, you're "doing" something to the people receiving the message. This raises the question of what exactly you're doing and what are the effects/consequences? In a group, this is not straightforward to figure out, because different people may perceive you differently. Some people may agree with you, some may disagree, some may feel threatened, some may be indifferent. If you were to care deeply about how every member of the group perceives you, you might get overwhelmed and become paralyzed. It's not a good goal to aim for.

The best you can do is make clear your intent (i.e. what you want your speech to "do") and then try to express your meaning as clearly as possible, which requires some facility with language. You need to have a good understanding of the words you're using, but not just the dictionary meaning, also the common connotations. You can pick up connotations naturally by exposing yourself to a wide variety of people, which is why I always advocate for interacting with people from all walks of life. You'll get firsthand experience of how words are used somewhat differently in different contexts (and thus produce different effects/consequences).

The meaning of words isn't determined by you but by how they are generally used within a group/culture, so it's best to acknowledge any deficits in your understanding of what words really mean, with all their possible connotations. You should also be open to feedback about how people react to your communication style. If they have any difficulty understanding you, investigate and learn better ways to express your meaning.

For ENTJs, the willingness to look beneath the surface comes with proper Ni development, which includes probing deeper into what people say, as well as knowing the deeper meaning of language. Healthy Ni ought to care about whether there is a mismatch between one's perception of reality and reality itself. When there's a mismatch between what you intended to express and how it actually came out into the world, use Ni to explore why. Ni lends you the patience and curiosity to get to the truth/essence of the matter, which should help you learn how to say what you mean in the best possible way.

III. Shared Meaning and Purpose

When you're part of a group, you're part of something larger than yourself, so your thinking must broaden beyond the personal. Think about what the group needs/wants, what the group aims to do, and what keeps the group together. There are many different kinds of groups. Sometimes, you have no choice but to be part of a group. Sometimes, you choose to join a group for your personal needs. Sometimes, you happen to find yourself in a group that needs to accomplish a temporary mission. What kind of group(s) are you referring to?

In order for a group to function well, there has to be a sense of fairness, especially in terms of how roles and responsibilities are divided up among members. E.g.: A group should not have too many freeloaders who take more than they contribute, otherwise resentment could boil over. A group should not be too hierarchical in over/undervaluing certain roles and tasks, otherwise prejudice or jealousy might fuel infighting. A group should not concentrate power in too few hands because it enables antisocial, controlling, and exploitative behavior.

Reflect on what you bring to the table and how you contribute to the group's purpose. What roles do you commonly take on in groups, and why? How do the other members perceive your contributions? When you speak, do you make reference to the group's purpose enough?

In a previous post, I mentioned how meaning-making is important for bonding people together. Similarly, for a collection of individuals to transform into a cohesive group, they have to develop a sense of shared meaning. The majority of the members have to care about the group as a whole and whether members are properly aligned with the group's purpose, otherwise, the bonds holding the group together start to weaken and dissolve. This is why groups naturally do things such as: draw up rules for everyone to follow; demarcate a boundary between in-group and out-group; dress in uniforms; use identifying symbols; repeat and rehash inside jokes; require individuals to make symbolic gestures to affirm/prove their group membership. When you speak, do your words contribute something to shared meaning?

IV. Identity & Identification

Your description is unclear but it sounds like you don't know how to express who you are in a group setting? You mention "likeable", so why is it important for you to be likeable? Do you think it makes it easier for you to be heard or belong? Do you hope to have some influence on the other members? Do you hope that being likeable in the group is a shortcut to forming good relationships with each individual? In other words, what is your motivation for being a well-liked member of the group?

What it means to be a "likeable" person is dependent on context. What seems likeable to one group might seem unlikable to another. For example, imagine standing up to speak to a right-wing political group versus a left-wing political group. One of the reasons why politicians seem dishonest or two-faced is because they have to change how they communicate depending on who they're talking to.

One thing you can do to appear more likeable is appeal to the group's shared values. Why are you part of the group in the first place? What characteristics, traits, beliefs, or opinions do you share with the group? Whatever they are, it's important to reinforce them openly enough to make the other members feel as though you belong there.

One common challenge people experience in groups is not being able to resolve the tension between individuality and conformity. On one hand, you want to fit in and feel a sense of belonging. On the other hand, you don't want to completely lose yourself to the group. A lot of people are suspicious of "belonging" because they've seen how groups can quickly escalate into cultish or destructive behavior.

Ideally, a healthy group should make space for individuals to express who they really are, in order to maximize opportunities for all members to contribute something special to the group's success.

However, the debate about where the boundary lies between self and group assumes that someone is already fitting in. The more primary concern is whether you're even capable of fitting in when you want to. This issue is sometimes related to identity and can manifest in two different ways, either "too much" or "too little".

In the case of "too much", identity is often multi-faceted and some people feel as though they can't fit in when the group doesn't affirm all the important aspects of their identity. For instance, it's not always easy existing as the only man/woman/nonbinary person in the group (gender identity), or existing as the only person of a specific race, culture, religion, or ethnicity in the group. When you feel as though there is an important part of you that the rest of the group can't see and/or can't understand, it's hard to feel like a full member. If they don't really know all the things that make you who you are, then do they really like you, or do they just like their own 2D image of you? In order to fit in better, is there something about you that feels unseen or unacknowledged by the group that you perhaps need to express more visibly?

In the case of "too little", some people have trouble fitting in because their identity lacks substance and they have nothing with which to carve out a niche for themselves. Perhaps they don't know themselves very well. Perhaps they have no strong beliefs, opinions, feelings, or passions. Perhaps they have no personal interests or hobbies. If you want to be likeable, people have to find an easy and interesting way to share in your existence. If there's nothing remarkable about you for them to label as "the thing you are known for" within the group, then it's hard for them to connect with you, which makes it hard for you to feel fully embraced.

There are pros and cons to having a strong sense of identity. Not having one means you are less prone to feeling hurt by invalidation. However, it also means that people might see you as "lacking personality" or "hard to relate to". Some ENTJs struggle to define their identity due to inferior Fi. In general, EJs exist out there in the world and don't put much attention and energy into constructing a personal identity. Perhaps they define themselves by their goals or by the job/work/roles that they perform in society. While these aspects of identity are legitimate, they are largely external. One also requires an internal sense of identity, created and nurtured from the inside out - a process aided by introverted function development.

Perhaps, like many Te doms, you believe a person is defined by how "useful" they can be, and you don't understand the utility of a personal identity. But a lot of people can make themselves useful by working on their competencies. It doesn't necessarily make them likeable, though they may get admired. What makes you a unique person? Is there something about your existence that people can really enjoy and appreciate as uniquely you?