#basically last night i thought about messaging him because we’ve been trying to watch a movie tgt for like 3 weeks now

[jiminrings]

jealous 478jk smut drabble sneak peek :O

Jungkook looks at you like he’s lost.

There’s this wide-eyed look to him, the origins in it embedded for a reason you can’t decipher. He doesn’t exactly look like he’s mad even when his jaw is clenched, and he doesn’t precisely look sad either while his brows are furrowed. Jungkook’s at a loss for words, even when you’ve thoroughly explained your impending absence for the next week.

“It’s an artist retreat, baby,” you repeat, tracing along his fingers while he’s stuck in a trance. “We’ve already watched the first season of it, remember? It was a different cast the first time but this time, I’m included,” you test out your explanation at the tip of your tongue, confused when he still doesn’t speak. “We’re all just… basically gonna have fun together.”

Your husband doesn’t speak about it. He’s thinking about it longer than necessary even if you’ve already made your decision because after all, it’s your career and he’s your biggest supporter. There shouldn’t be any qualms about your incoming reality show stint as a promotion for your newest drama, not at all — is what he’d like to think.

Jungkook doesn’t reply to your explanation whilst helping you pack until your phone dings face-up, the pop-up notification hovering above your home screen of him carrying Hwayoung in his arms. He shouldn’t be bothered, really. The preview of your groupchat with your co-stars (that just conveniently has Yoongi’s face as the photo) and its pings have long been playing in the background for the past month now.

Jungkook doesn’t open his mouth except when his eyes catch the tiny text, the message immediately met with laughing reactions.

Min Yoongi

| i bet my car jungkook’s gonna try and fit in y/n’s suitcase LMAOOOOOOOOO

“I know what it is,” he suppresses the urge to roll his eyes, passive-aggressive as he folds all your underwear into tight bundles with the way he’s clenching his fists. “You sure I can’t come?”

You only chuckle, tickling Hwayoung on her sides as she’s propped up in the bed because while your husband’s packing your things for tomorrow (and on late notice too because you’re already leaving for your schedule tonight), you’re packing her bag because she’s staying with your parents for the next three days.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to do with himself, actually — he knows what he does best and that’s being your husband and Hwayoung’s dad, but with both his girls gone for the next few days, he’s a little lost.

Doesn’t know what to do with himself when he’s lost in his own thoughts of how you continue to be even more popular and with that, you’re prone to have more articles and rumors attached to your name. His alone time hasn’t even started and yet, he’s already internally going down the rabbit hole of what he searched up last night; that you despite being married to him, you and Yoongi are each other’s soulmates.

It’s stupid; he really thinks it is. He finds shippers stupid and also the countless threads where everybody just talks for the sake of talking, saying that the way Yoongi looks at you can’t be rivaled by the way he does. 

He finds picture slides and videos annoying when you and Yoongi are in it and it’s to the tune of the most recently trending, cloying nostalgic song, both the posters and the people in the comments saying that you and Yoongi must be each other’s greatest loves — just conveniently (and rudely) skipping over the fact that you have a husband and a kid.

“I’m pretty sure you can’t, Jungkook,” you snort, ruffling his hair. 

Jungkook tamps down the rising guilt of selfishness because the tiniest bit of him doesn’t want you to go on that trip. He doesn’t want you to go on that show because the hype between you and Yoongi will only ramp up, your names about to be linked more often than it already is.

Your husband tries to keep his selfishness at bay when he drives you up to the shoot location and hugs you closely– longer than what is needed for a couple who’ll only be apart for a week. He still smiles (although tightly and a little forced) when your co-stars who are mostly men to begin with, promise to take care of you and make sure that you won’t go home with even a single mosquito bite.

There’s too much time in his hands, most of them he doesn’t even really need alone because he thinks that its best use is when he’s with his family. Jungkook knows that he’s needy and he’s trying not to be clingy so much but he thinks this time, it’s not only in his head that you were barely giving him something to go by.

There were no rules about not using cellphones during shoots and given that you were the only actor in your team that had a husband and a child, you were given more leniency in all aspects. 

Jungkook tries his hardest not to be clingy because his only check-ups on you are whenever it’s time for meals and before sleep. He’s tamped down his selfishness to a minimum and yet at the first time you answer for the past two days that he’s tried checking up on you, it’s in the context unlike what he’d imagined.

| brb yoongi’s teaching me how to fish lol

Of course he is. Of course that for the first time you reply to him, it just had to be on the duration where no fish are biting on your bait while Jungkook thinks that probably, Yoongi’s out there chuckling beside you seeing the array of his previous, one-sided texts.

He dials you immediately, swallowing down his growing annoyance just because he really, really wants to hear your voice.

“Can you talk right now?”

“Yeah! What’s up?” you perk up at the sound of him, making him relieved that you’re not looking to drop the call anytime soon.

“So I’m looking into-…” 

Of course Jungkook gets interrupted when he was about to relay his plan of possibly bullying Jimin into letting him crash your schedule (when the cameras aren’t rolling) just to visit you.

Of course it’s Yoongi who interrupts him. 

“Y/N! Is that Jungkook again?” he yells in the background, the distinct voice of the guy being heard all the way through the other side of the line. “Eat up while the food’s still hot!”

Jungkook has no words to say — especially when you don’t give him any chance to do so.

“He’s — yeah, yeah! I’m coming,” you yell back but despite the volume, Jungkook doesn’t even flinch; he just clenches his jaw. “Gotta go, baby. Yoongi’s the boss, I don’t wanna get on his nerves tonight.”

It wasn’t your yell prior that makes Jungkook’s ears ring; it’s your soft-spoken yet urgent tone when you say to him that you’ll get going because Yoongi’s the boss. It’s what makes his teeth grind together and the pulse in his neck grow because you’re in a hurry to go get dinner, because you don’t want to get on Yoongi’s nerves tonight.

The flush rises in his neck and for all the wrong reasons, his skin warm from the rising irritation that just begs to manifest into something more tangible — something more memorable.

Without a second thought, your husband gets into his car and starts the long drive to you, brewing in anger the entirety of the four hours that it gets to you. They all fly by quickly just as how he weaves in between cars, the angry honking no match to the noise inside his head.

Jungkook walks right past the staff who’s packing up equipment for the next day because almost everybody’s gone into sleep, not stopping for the stunned faces and the excited squeals, not even for Jimin who squawks at his unexpected presence and the way he walks inside the main house with a mission.

It’s easy to spot your room despite having no knowledge of it at all because of course, your co-stars had the decency to give you the biggest and solo room anyway. Jungkook walks past discarded card games on the hallway and even bumps with a Doberman that’s half his size, the dog sniffing at him right before he enters your room.

You don’t flinch because you think it’s one of the lovely and doting producers giving you a face mask because you forgot to pack one, but when you turn — you flinch because it’s Jungkook.

It’s your husband in the flesh, clad in his gray sweatpants and a short-sleeved shirt that’s worn-out perfectly to the point that it stretches across him perfectly. If you couldn’t read him before you left, you certainly can now.

Your mouth opens and closes but you can’t find the words, lips parted open in surprise as you try to reel in his presence.

“Your husband can’t come, but Dongwook’s dog that’s the size of a horse can?” he scoffs, trudging towards you with his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t even greet you hello.

“Kook, I love you but-…” you start, looking up to him automatically but you stumble on your words when he hooks his arms around your back and presses you to him tightly, the pout he has on his face when looking down on you making you shut up.

“But?” he tilts his head, the smile on his face too empty yet provoking that it gives you goosebumps. “Why are you withholding yourself, sweetheart?”

“What are you doing here?” you whisper-yell once you’ve had the semblance to actually reply, trying to pry yourself out of his hold but he doesn’t even loosen up one bit. “You can’t be here!”

“Says who?” Jungkook questions, a hand raising to get your baby hair out of the way. He’s doing it so slowly that you hold your breath, his thumb lingering on your cheek when you can only watch him closely. “What are they gonna do, fire you? They can’t do that to someone who gets their ratings up.”

“What are you going on about, Jungkook? Why’d you drive all the way here?”

Your husband laughs– actually laughs and even throws his head back but you can’t find what’s exactly so funny about it, your confusion only spurring on him more. He thinks that sometimes, you could be so humble to the point that you’re clueless — painfully too clueless to the point that he’s driven the hours just to instill something in you.

“Can’t I just miss you?”

There’s that frown again on Jungkook’s face that intimidates you more than it annoys you, one that weaponizes him to trace the tip of his nose from your hairline to your cheek until he settles his face to your neck, making you swallow the lump on your throat when you automatically open up to him.

“I, I missed you too,” you confide, the shudder that racks through you when he suddenly bites at the sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder enough to make you hyper-aware. “Stop. Yoongi’s sleeping next door.”

Jungkook’s face was buried in your neck one minute ago but at barely the blink of an eye, your husband’s face is right in front of you, jaw clenched and eyes glazed.

His breathing’s staggered, the thumb that had only been pressing against your shoulder now on your chin, tilting you up to look only at him.

“There you go again,” he snickers, the pout he has on his face sickeningly sweet. Jungkook pries open your lips with only his thumb and puts the pad of it flat on your tongue. “You’re a fucking brat, y’know that?”

“Excuse me?” your eyes widen, words slurred from his thumb in your mouth. You try to pry him off you with no real fight as you put a hand on his wrist, but he only chuckles lowly at your attempt of handling the reins.

“What, you’re offended that I called you a brat?” he asks, moving both his large hands this time to grab ahold of your face. Jungkook comes even closer that the sight of him makes you almost cross-eyed, his voice low yet venomous. “What’re you gonna do, huh? Run to Yoongi?”

“W-why would I run to him?” you ask in confusion, brows furrowed as you try to make sense of everything; the slick smoothness between your legs, however, not being rocket science to figure out.

Jungkook laughs to your face.

“Why are you so confused, hm?” he whispers. “Didn’t you say he was the boss? Surely, you don’t wanna get on his nerves, do you?”

You think back to what you’d said hours ago, making sense of your rushed words. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

It’s too little, too late for Jungkook no matter how sincere you are, his mind already being made-up.

“And I don’t care,” he smiles, eyes dark and dimples deep when he delivers his sentiment. “This is long overdue anyway, don’t you think? Thanks to your crush on Yoongi-…”

“I don’t have a crush on him.”

“I didn’t say you can talk back to me. Didn’t even tell you to speak,” he spits, his hand splayed across your nape tightening slightly when he speaks against your ear. You have no plan on escaping his hold but he grips you like you’re going to anyways. “Thanks to your slip-up though, you’re gonna learn whose nerves you don’t actually want to get on.”

Jungkook inhales your innocence and exhales his selfishness, the smile that appears on his face coming across determined; desperate enough to put you at his mercy.

“I need to put my brat in place.”

.

.

.

RRRRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHH U GET JEALOUS 478JK!!! wanna read the full piece now? this, along with other exclusive drabbles, will only be exclusively available on my patreon :-)

p.s., don't worry!! i'll still post a 478 smut drabble (aka on the baby blue floor couch scene) available for everyone to read!! it'll be up on patreon for early access though (and yes it wud still be posted on tumblr), so i'll release a sneak peek here once i wrap it up!!

[gawainism]

man .

[incendiobrock]

Pranked You ;) {Colby Brock}

Request: Hello sweetie! I was wondering if you could do a story where the reader and Colby aren't dating YET but there is yah know, chemistry and tension. But one day sam decided to pull a prank on Colby and it involved EVERYONE. So basically he makes it seem like he woke up in a different world or something where stuff is different. For example: him and reader are dating (you can choose whatever other stuff happens, lol) but once Colby figures out the prank, he pulls reader aside. They have a small argument before reader blows off on him, in which he says "I've never wanted to kiss you as badly as I do know" and that's how they admit their feelings! Thank you! And can't wait to see what you write love

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for your request, sorry for the wait, I have been very busy with school and work. I hope the wait is worth it though! Get ready for a long imagine, I’m pretty sure this is about 3,000 words. I hope you love it! I just realized that I tried to keep this imagine gender neutral but I forgot that I accidentally put some she/her pronouns in it, I’m so sorry!

Warnings: Angsty, Cussing, Mentions of alcohol, implied smut

------------------------------------------------------------

It was just like any other day for you. You woke up around noon because you were exhausted from the day before. Between working, going to college, and trying to keep somewhat of a social life, everyone could see just how worn out you would get day to day. So today you decided to treat yourself with a few extra hours of this beautiful thing called sleep.

Your phone rest on the bedside table and of course checking it and replying to the unread messages was the first step of your morning routine. The first messages you saw were from the group chat that consisted of you, Kat, and Tara. Apparently, while you were sleeping, Tara and Kat had a whole conversation about a girl’s day that they wanted to plan for you three. The last text sent was from Kat and it read, “I can’t wait for y/n to see all these messages in the morning. We planned the best girl’s day while she was probably passed the fuck out in her bed lmao”.

You smiled sending them a text back alerting them that you are indeed alive and down for all the plans they had created. In fact, you would be seeing them later at Sam and Colby’s place for a couple’s dinner/pool/movie date night. Jake would be there as well, and although you were tragically single, you loved all of them to death and hanging out over there was like the most elite sleepovers you would have with your best friends as a child.

A new text appeared on your screen just as you began to emerge from the comfort of your bed sheets, “God finally you’re awake. I’ve been waiting for Kat to tell me you answered her message all morning. I need your help tonight with a prank. Colby is never going to see it coming”

“A prank? I thought you guys didn’t do that anymore...? But I’m in ;)” You sent back. Out of all the trap girls and all the boys, Colby and you got along the best. Ever since you first met, which was years ago at this point, Colby and you have been inseparable. You tried so hard to avoid your feelings for him, in hopes to not develop a crush that ended up ruining your friendship, but Kat picked up on it right away. She told you constantly that she could easily set you up with the beautiful blue-eyed boy, but you insisted that things would happen naturally if there was truly something there between the two of you. And so, you went on, day by day, falling helplessly in love with the sweetest boy you have ever come to know.

Sam sent a message telling you to head over to their place as soon as possible. You swore that you basically lived there already. You were at their house way more than you were at your own. You couldn’t imagine living further than 15 minutes from them. After what felt like a century to Sam, you arrived at the house. Your hand loudly knocking on the big wooden door.

“Hey y/n! How are you?” Kat asked, pulling you into a big hug as she opened the door. You smiled and hugged back at her kind gesture, “I’m good! How are you? Do you know anything about this prank on you know who?” You questioned her. She glared at you, silently telling you to lower your volume. “Y/n! Colby is right upstairs be quiet!” She whispers, laughing at you almost blowing their cover immediately upon arrival.

Kat was quick to take you by the arm and drag you to the theater room where Sam was already sitting on one of the opulent red couches. He greeted you, telling you that he wanted to film your reaction to him telling you what prank you were going to pull. You agreed and sat down on the sofa facing the blonde. “Colby’s taking a nap right now upstairs because he was up super late last night editing one of our Sam and Colby videos. I figured we could use his exhaustion to our advantage and try and prank him that he woke up in some sort of alternate universe. I figured you could go into his room and set up a couple cameras, and I’ll keep two hidden in the living room where me, Kat, Jake, and Tara will be, so we hopefully get his full reaction. I want you to sneak into his bed and like cuddle him or something and when he wakes up, I want you to pretend that you’ve been dating him for a long time now. He is going to be super confused but just try and convince him that it’s true. If he ends up downstairs, we will go along with it too. I really want to see if he will think that it’s real after a while.” Sam explained.

You felt your face burning as your cheeks became a deep shade of red. He couldn’t be serious right? He wanted you to pretend that you were dating Colby? “I- Uh… I don’t know Sam won’t that be a really mean prank?” You tried to play it off, hoping that you didn’t just annihilate all your efforts to keep your feelings hidden. “You guys are like best friends, I don’t think he could be mad at you for such an innocent prank.” Sam replied. You began to feel incredibly flustered at the thought of having to be so affectionate with Colby. The room started to feel like a sauna as the sweat began accumulating all over your body.

Sure, you and Colby had cuddled before, but it was extremely platonic… Plus, it only happened in very specific moments, like last Wednesday after you had a couple of drinks, and everyone was sat watching a movie where he wrapped his arm around you so you could rest your head since it could barely hold itself up. You snapped out of your thoughts quickly realizing that Sam had been waiting on a response from you. You knew Sam was stubborn, he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Your eyes met back with his and the only thing you could get yourself to do was slightly nod your head ‘yes’.

“Perfect.” Sam smirked, getting up to turn off the camera and hand it to you so you could set it up in Colby’s room. You already knew that he was thinking about how many points this would score him for a Sam and Colby prank war if it turns out the way he is wanting.

Before you knew it you had made it all the way up into Colby’s room where you had strategically hidden the camera, facing it towards the sleeping boy in his bed. You let out a deep sigh, trying to prepare yourself for what was about to go down. “If this ruins everything for me, I am going to kill you Golbach.” You whispered, knowing the deep sleeper wouldn’t hear a single thing. And so, the prank began.

You took a gentle hold of the silky black sheets and quietly slipped into bed right next to Colby. There was no game plan in your mind, you didn’t even think up a storyline about your fake relationship for once he woke up. You squeezed your eyes shut in fear as you quickly wrapped your body around his, resting your head under his chin as he slept on his back. He twitched slightly, bringing his arm up, lazily holding you back. The breath caught in your throat, this was already hard enough for you and now he is cuddling you back? You glanced up to see his face, his eyelashes were slightly fluttering, and his soft lips had a slight part in them. He was still fast asleep. You decided to try and wake him up by moving around in his arm slightly, hoping the movement would pull him out of his dreams.

“Y/n?” His voice rung through the room, deep and raspy. He sat up slightly, glancing around the dark lair that he called a bedroom, but his arm still remained around your frame. “W-what are you doing here?” He stuttered, visibly confused by the sight of you in his arms.

“What? I can’t cuddle my boyfriend?” You answered, shocked that you could even get those words to come out of your mouth. His eyes widened at your response, pure shock etched into his face. “Boyfriend?” You felt his heart start to race as he replied.

His arm dropped from your body as he delicately pushed himself out of bed. He was now hovering over you as he stood by the bedside table. There was a clear glass with some water sitting on a coaster on the table. His strong hand wrapped around it as he brought it up to his mouth, downing the rest of the water that was in it. You could tell by his body language that he was beyond confused. The glass clinked as he practically dropped it back onto the nightstand.

“Am I dreaming or something? Since when was I your boyfriend?” His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to look at you for some answers. Your heart sunk thinking about how mean of a prank this truly was, at least from your point of view. “Baby… Are you serious? We’ve been together for years now, are you feeling okay?” You said as you threw your legs over the side of the bed, pulling his hand into your own.

Your thumb gently rubbed circles onto the back of his hand, but only for a couple seconds before he pulled it away. “Is this a fucking prank or something?” He asked, irritation evident from his tone. You shook your head ‘no’, it was becoming hard to process words. You knew this was upsetting him, but Sam had you promise to make the prank last for as long as you could.

“I’m sorry- I have to get out of here really quick.” Colby said, making his way out the bedroom door. You said nothing back, hoping that Sam would end the prank for you as Colby made his way down the stairs.

“Hey brother! You’re finally up. Where’s y/n? I thought we were all doing a couples movie night?” Jake interrogated as Colby glanced to see Sam, Kat, and Tara standing over in the kitchen. Colby brought his hand up to his face rubbing his eyes, there’s no way that Jake is saying this too. Colby began to think that he was seriously going crazy. And then everyone else joined in on the conversation. You could hear them loudly as you stayed glued to Colby’s bed.

Sam began to ask if Colby was feeling alright, and you heard Kat say that maybe we should take Colby to the hospital in case he was losing his memory. You felt the panic in Colby rise as he was deflecting everyone’s concern insisting that he wasn’t losing his memory, and that he definitely wasn’t going crazy. He knew for a fact that you two weren’t dating, and none of them could convince him otherwise. “Dude, she’s gonna hear you up there. You’re going to break her heart. You really don’t remember?” Sam pushed.

You finally had enough. You raced out of Colby’s room and rushed down the stairs. You stopped immediately upon entering the kitchen, seeing everybody else still standing there surrounding Colby. The energy switched as they all looked to you, Sam pleading with his eyes for you to keep going. “I’m so sorry Colby, it was just a prank, please don’t be upset.” You couldn’t handle it any longer, the pain on his face was too much for you to bear. You watched as he scoffed back, “I knew it. Fuck you, guys. I’m going back upstairs.”

You felt horrible as you watched him stomp back up to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Tears stung the back of your eyes, this was all your fault. You excused yourself from the group and somberly made it to Colby’s door. You preceded to place a faint knock on the wood, “Colby? I’m so sorry, can you please open up?” Your voice was so soft, it would’ve been hard for him to hear if he hadn’t already anticipated your arrival. The door swung open as Colby quickly made his way back over to where he previously sat on the couch.

You stayed frozen at the door for a couple seconds, hoping to brace yourself for the angry boy inside. You took hold of the cold metal doorknob, pulling the door shut behind you. You tip-toed your way over to the sofa and took a seat far from Colby. Your mind was running a hundred miles an hour as you tried to concoct a coherent sentence. “What the hell were you thinking? Did you seriously think that I would find this funny?” He spat in your direction.

“It wasn’t my prank, Sam just wanted me to help him out.” You said back, desperately trying to reason with him. He sarcastically laughed, running a hand through his dark hair. “I didn’t ask who’s prank it was y/n.”

You gulped, it felt suffocating in his room. The dark ambiance that normally felt inviting suddenly seemed like your own personal hell. “Colby, I didn’t want to hurt you I swear. I was trying my best to keep everything lighthearted. I could never hurt you.” Your voice was so delicate, it was so hard to speak. The tears were still threating to make an appearance, and that was the last thing you wanted.

“But you did, y/n. That’s the thing. Whether or not you ‘meant’ to hurt me, you did. And everyone else was in on it to. Did you even try and tell Sam that this prank wasn’t a good idea? Did you even think, for a split second, that this was incredibly immature? You were all treating me like I was losing my damn mind, trying to convince me that we were dating when we clearly never were.”

His words hurt, but they were all true. You had never been together, what were you thinking pretending like you were? All to satisfy Sam? To help him get a head start on the prank wars by completely crushing Colby’s heart? He is your best friend for crying out loud. “Look Colby. I never wanted to do this, okay? Did you ever stop and think that maybe I didn’t want to be doing this either? You mean everything to me. Why would I ever purposely hurt you? Especially after everything we have been through. All the ups and downs, the messy breakups, all the fights. I love you so god damn much and I hope you know that I would never, ever, hurt you like that.” By this point the tears were streaming down your face. Your previous spot on the couch was long discarded as you now stood right in front of Colby, praying that he knew you were being serious about not hurting him.

Your eyes searched his for any glimpse of a sign showing that he believed you. His bright blue eyes looked a lot more intimidating than usual. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his expression not giving you any clues. Finally, he responded, “Is it wrong that I’ve never wanted to kiss you as badly as I do right now?”

And finally, there was your sign. His eyes no longer looked intimidating. In fact, they had completely changed into something much different, lust. You quickly took a step closer to him as he took a stand right in front of you, placing his strong hands on either side of your face. He roughly pulled you in, causing your lips to crash together with loads of passion. They fit perfectly together, better than you ever imagined them. They worked in sync as the feeling inside of you was igniting a fire. He was so rough, but surprisingly still gentle. Acting as if one wrong move would completely break you. Your lips remained locked as he pushed you backwards, surprising you as your back made contact with his plush bed. He was on top of you, hungrily continuing the kiss.

You both pulled apart abruptly, gasping for air after your heavy make out session. “I guess now’s a good time to let you know that I am absolutely, one hundred percent, in love with you.” You stated, starring deep into his eyes. “Then I guess now’s a good time to tell you that I feel the same.” He responded, bringing you back in for another passionate kiss. You pulled back again, “So, does this mean I can finally see those handcuffs I keep hearing about in action?” You asked him, slightly laughing. “Only if you promise to keep quiet.” He winked back. And that was the start of your amazing, long awaited relationship.

[storiesforallfandoms]

she ain’t a gold digger ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2417

request?: yes!

“Hi, please write a MGK imagine where the reader joins him on tour and he loses his wallet and when they decide to go out to a club one night, she asks him to get something from her bag and he sees his wallet in there. He accuses her of stealing and they get into a fight and she storms off. One of the guys confesses that they found it in their suitcase by accident and just slipped it in her purse to keep it safe but forgot to tell him and he apologizes profusely to reader and after some persuasion she forgives him”

description: when his wallet goes missing and he finds it in her bag, he lets the tabloids bullshit get to him and causes a fight he regrets

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angst

masterlist (one, two)

The hotel room was basically overturned when (Y/N) walked in. Colson was tossing things from his suitcase, frantically searching for something.

“We’ve only been here like five minutes, is it really time to pull a full Motley Crue on this room?” she teased.

“I can’t find my wallet,” Colson said, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

“What?”

“It’s not in my suitcase, it’s not in any of my pants - the ones in my suitcase or the ones I’m wearing - it’s not in my carry on or my jacket.”

(Y/N) crossed the room to kneel next to Colson. She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. In a more calm manner, she looked through the things Colson had messily thrown about the floor. She helped him to look for the millionth time through everything, coming up empty yet again.

“Okay, don’t panic,” she said. “You had it at the airport because it was with your passport. We can call both this airport and the one we just departed from to see if it’s been turned in. In the meantime, we can lock your cards so no one can use them.”

Colson nodded, but (Y/N) could see the panic in his eyes. She cupped his face and made him look up at her. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll find it, and if we don’t we’ll replace it the best we can.”

~~~~~~

Despite the stress he was still feeling, Colson decided to join (Y/N) and his friends at the club that night. He was glued to his phone the entire ride there, and once they got to the club (Y/N) took it and shoved it into her purse.

“Relax,” she told him. “We’re here to have a good time.”

“But what if someone calls about my wallet?” he asked.

“Then they’ll leave a message. I highly doubt anyone is calling you at almost midnight, though.” (Y/N) laced her fingers through Colson’s and pressed her body against his. “Please baby? For me?”

Colson sighed but (Y/N) could see the smile on his face. “Fine, but you’re paying for my drinks tonight.”

He had to admit the night out was what he needed. Besides the panic over his wallet, Colson had also basically worked himself to death the past few months. Between recording and filming, and now the tour. He was just grateful that his manager allowed (Y/N) to join them on tour. He’d be out of his mind without her.

(Y/N) pushed through the crowd to where Colson and his friends were and passed Colson his drink. He smiled and pulled her down onto his lap. (Y/N) giggled as Colson pressed a kiss onto her neck.

“If you guys are gonna fuck, do us the curtesy of going to the bathroom,” Rook called over the music.

“Please, I’m more classy than that,” Colson responded. “I’d fuck her in the coat closet like a gentleman.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and stood. “I’m gonna go dance. Enjoy your boy talk.”

Colson watched the beautiful curved figure of his girlfriend strut to the dancefloor. He finished his drink in one mouthful and went to follow her.

They danced together for so long that Colson had forgotten all of his worried for a brief period of time. He gazed lovingly into the face of the love of his life as she grinded her hips against his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sheepishly smiled up at him.

“Wanna get out of here?” she whispered seductively in his ear.

“More than anything,” Colson responded. “I’ll get our things. Meet me at the front doors.”

(Y/N) smiled and winked at him as they went their separate ways. Colson pulled out the coat check tickets to get his jacket and (Y/N)’s purse, and passed it to the girl working there. As he shrugged on his jacket, he got the overwhelming urge to check his phone to see if anyone had called about his wallet.

He promised (Y/N) he’d have a good time, but she didn’t have to know he checked. He would just look and see if there were any missed calls then forget until morning.

However, when he opened (Y/N)’s purse to get her phone, he noticed something on the very top: his wallet.

Why does she have my wallet? he thought. And why wouldn’t she tell me that she had it? She knows how worried I’ve been about it.

He tried not to overthink anything before talking to (Y/N) first. He made his way to the front of the club where (Y/N) was waiting with a joint hanging partially out of her mouth. She looked over at him and smiled as a puff of smoke rolled from her lips.

“Are you ready to go?” she asked. When she noticed Colson’s serious look, her smile fell. “Babe, are you okay? Did something happen?”

He found his words stuck in his throat, so instead of speaking he just held his wallet up.

“Holy shit! Is that your wallet?” Colson nodded, still unable to talk. “Where did you find it?!”

“In your purse.”

(Y/N)’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What? How did it get in my purse?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

She looked up at him as she took another puff from the joint. “What does that mean?”

“It doesn’t mean anything, I’m just asking a question. This is your purse after all, the only people who touch it are you and me. Obviously I didn’t put the wallet in there so that leaves one person.”

(Y/N) crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. “Say it Colson. Fucking say it.”

“Did you take my wallet (Y/N)?”

“No! Of course I didn’t!”

“Then why is it in your purse?”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and turned away from Colson. She started to walk away, but he followed her.

“If you took it, I just want to know why,” he said. “I’m not upset, I know there’s likely a good reason for taking it and not telling me.”

“I didn’t fucking take it!” (Y/N) snapped, spinning around to glare at Colson. “I know how this looks, I know it makes no sense, but I fucking swear to you I did not take your fucking wallet. I don’t know how it got in my purse, I don’t know why it’s there, but I did not take your goddamn wallet!”

“Then why the fuck is it in your purse?!”

(Y/N) let out a frustrated groan and buried her head in her hands. “Why can’t you just fucking believe me when I say I didn’t take it? I don’t know how it got in my purse, but I didn’t take it.”

“It just doesn’t make sense to me, (Y/N). How else would it have gotten there? You’re the only one who even touches your purse, none of the guys have had access to it. You knew when and where I had my wallet last, and now it’s showing up in your bag.”

“If I had taken it, why was I trying to help you find it? Why did I tell you to shut down your cards so no one could use them? Why was I helping you to call the airports and turn over the entire hotel room another two times looking for it? Why would I go to those lengths if I just had it instead of telling you just to replace it all?”

“I don’t know, (Y/N), maybe you were just making sure you could get whatever fucking money you could from me without me realizing.”

(Y/N)’s face fell and her eyes started to well with tears. After being together for a year, she thought he would know her better than that. She thought he wouldn’t believe the bullshit tabloid websites were publishing about her being a gold digger and just dating Colson for the money. She thought he would knew she loved him with her entire heart because of who he was, not because he was a famous rapper.

Apparently she was wrong.

Without another word, (Y/N) turned away from him and walked towards the line up of taxis that were waiting outside of the club. Colson watched her go, his anger starting to subside and be replaced by guilt. But he couldn’t go after her, he wouldn’t. He needed some time to think about all of this, to let her think about it as well. Neither one of them were going to get any answers if they kept fighting and hurting one another.

Colson entered the club again, order two more strong drinks and finding his way back to his boys. They all looked at him with confusion as he sat down where he had been before.

“Dude, I thought you left,” Baze said.

“I thought so, too, until I found my wallet in (Y/N)’s purse,” Colson muttered. “We got into a fight and she left.”

“Why were you fighting about that?” Rook asked, his eyebrows furrowing together.

Colson waved off the comment, not feeling in the mood to relay the entire fight back to his friends.

“Wait, did I not tell you I put the wallet there?” Slim asked.

Colson nearly choked on one of his drinks. He coughed and turned to look at his friend. “You fucking had it?”

“Yeah man, it somehow got in my carry on,” Slim responded. “I found it when we were waiting for our luggage. I put it in (Y/N)’s purse cause I knew it would be safe there. I could’ve swore I told you that, though.”

“You didn’t,” Colson said. “God fucking dammit, I’m an idiot.”

“What did you say to her, man?” Baze asked.

“I...I insinuated that she...she’s only with me for my money and she stole my wallet so she could get it.”

The guys chorused disapproving noises at the same time.

“Kells, (Y/N) is literally the realest person I’ve ever met,” Rook said. “She ain’t a gold digger, and you definitely shouldn’t think that she is.”

“I don’t,” Colson sighed. “I was just pissed. God, I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Bro,” Slim said, leaning forward to look at Colson, “go after your woman and apologize.”

Colson nodded and quickly stood from his seat. The cab ride back to the hotel felt incredibly slow. Of course, he had left his phone in (Y/N)’s purse so he couldn’t even call or text her. There was no guarantee that she was even at the hotel, and that thought had Colson’s anxiety so much higher.

He desperately searched his pockets for the hotel key as he approached the room. When he couldn’t find it, he realized it was likely he had left that in (Y/N)’s purse, too. He sighed and began knocking on the door.

“(Y/N)?” he said, his voice soft. “Baby, can you let me in? I think my key is in your purse.” When there was no movement, he added, “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I should’ve listened to you. Slim admitted to putting my wallet in your bag, turns out he had it all along. I...I should never have thought it was you. I shouldn’t have said what I said. Can...can you let me in, please?”

There was silence. Not even signs of movement. Colson’s heart began to race as he realized the likeliness that (Y/N) had left. He had no idea where she could’ve gone, and now he didn’t even have any way of reaching her.

The door suddenly opened and (Y/N)’s tearstained face looked up at him. She didn’t say anything as she turned away and walked back into the hotel room. Colson followed in silence, unsure of what else to say. He just wanted to hold her and apologize forever, to do anything and everything she wanted to make things better.

(Y/N) got back into bed and laid with her back to Colson. He stood there in the dark, just looking at her.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

“You called me a gold digger,” (Y/N) responded, her voice equally as small. “After almost a year together, you called me a fucking gold digger.”

“I know - ”

“We’ve talked about how much those tabloid stories get to me, how upset they make me, and you really had the audacity to bring that up and not believe me when I said that I didn’t take your wallet.”

The fact that her voice wasn’t angry, but rather sad, made everything so much worse. Colson winced at her words, feeling a lump form in his throat.

“I know,” he repeated. “I don’t know why I said any of that. I didn’t mean it, I know you love me. I just...I have no excuses. I am a total fucking idiot and you have every right to be angry with me. I know I’m sorry won’t cut it, but for now that’s all I can say. I really am sorry.”

There was another prolonged silence. (Y/N) didn’t even move from her place on the bed. Colson had accepted the fact that she probably hated him and was preparing to go stay with one of the guys for the night, when he heard the bed shift and (Y/N)’s soft voice ask, “Did the guys give you shit?”

Colson smiled to himself. “Yeah, they did. They called me an idiot.”

“You are one.”

“I know.”

Through the darkness of the room, Colson could see (Y/N) lift the blankets and gesture for him to join her. He quickly kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket somewhere on the floor. The minute his body connected with hers, he felt relief wash over him. He hugged her tightly, never wanting to let her go.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head and repeating the sentiment over and over.

“And I love you, as in you - Colson Baker. Not Machine Gun Kelly, not the man with the money. I love the real you.”

“I know you do. I promise I’ll never doubt that again baby.”

(Y/N) relaxed into Colson’s arms, still a bit hurt from what he had said but happy to have him there with her. Finally, after some time, the two drifted off to sleep.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Twisted 17 - Mind Games [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, angst.

Word Count: 4700

Summary: Love demands sacrifices.

Not even once in your life had you ever imagined yourself in handcuffs, in an interrogation room on the wrong side of the table.

You weren’t even at the FBI headquarters though. The police had taken you to the station after the hospital, taking a blood sample and your fingerprints, then they had handcuffed you and left you there with a glass of water.

Of course they suspected you. Of course they thought you had murdered him.

Murder was your father’s legacy, after all.

You traced the handcuffs over your wrists, already feeling the bruises forming there. The shock still hadn’t worn off but you were starting to think it was a good thing. It felt as if you were watching all of this from behind some kind of glass window, perfectly aware of every single emotion but unable to actually feel them.

Spencer had said when you felt threatened, your body produced nervous energy, some sort of a fight or flight reaction but for once you weren’t trying to do any of that.

You just sat there, completely frozen.

“You look calm,” the police officer spoke, making you look up, trying to ignore the faint yelling coming from outside, possibly from the end of the hall.  

“I’m sorry?”

“Most people would be traumatized if this happened to them, they’d be crying, shaking…” he motioned at you, “But look at you. Still as a statue. You look pretty calm.”

“Would you rather if I were crying?”

“I’d rather if you were acting like a human being,” he said, “Why are you so calm?”

Why were you so calm?

Because your mother had taught you this much. Showing emotion when you were afraid meant weakness.

“My father was a serial killer,” you stated, looking him dead in the eye, “I’ve had a complicated childhood.”

“Yeah, I’d say…” he leaned in slightly, “You know, I’ve watched that documentary about your father. His interviews too.”

You raised your brows as he sniffled, trying to look like he was nonchalant about this whole situation.

“And I’ve spent sixteen years on this job,” he said, “After a while, you don’t even need anyone to speak for you to know what they’ve done. It’s all in their eyes and little girl,” he clicked his tongue, “There’s nothing behind your eyes but ice and death.”

You couldn’t cry. You wouldn’t cry. Not in front of people, not even if they tried to kill you. No matter how much they tried to hurt you-

No emotions.

“Impressive,” you managed to say, “Very poetic. Have you ever considered changing your career?”

“You know what I think?”

“I’m sure you’re about to enlighten me.”

“I think you wanted to follow your father’s footsteps,” he said, “I think you killed Anthony, and all those other people. It’s not even your fault, is it? Some people are just born broken.”

That was more than enough to make your eyes snap up to his and you could feel the lump in your throat but you bit your tongue so hard that you swallowed blood, making sure to keep your expression still.

“Nothing to say?”

“You’ve already decided what to think of me,” you said, “And I already told you what happened. What more do you want to hear?”

“Right,” he scoffed, taking a look at the file in front of him, “You went to bed around 12, didn’t wake up whole night, when you woke up you found him like that. Lying in a pool of his own blood, in your kitchen.”

“You don’t look like a whiskey girl.” an unfamiliar voice made you turn your head and you lowered your glass, tilting your head. The guy smiled at you, and stole a look at the whiskey glass you had put on the bar.

“Yeah?” you asked, “What girl am I then? If you’re such an expert?”

He thought for a moment, “Hmm, wine?”

“Depends on the occasion.”

“What kind of an occasion does whiskey call for?”

“Apparently an occasion for meeting guys with bad pick-up lines.”

He let out a chuckle, “Yeah, I swear I’m normally smoother than this.”

“I would hope so,” you grinned, and offered your hand, “Y/N.”

“Anthony.”

“But you failed to mention the part you texted him to come to your apartment.”

“I didn’t text anyone.”

“We have your phone Y/N.”

“I didn’t text anyone,” you repeated, “Someone must’ve drugged me and taken my phone, the same person who killed him, the same person who obviously broke into my apartment.”

“How convenient.”

You clenched your jaw.

“I always wake up during night,” you said, your voice completely calm and controlled. “Always. I never woke up last night, there has to be a reason for that.”

“If you’ve been drugged, it will come up on the blood tests.”

“Good.”

“While we wait for that,” he said, “Why don’t we go over what you did last night?”

You took a deep breath, “I woke up,” you said “Went to work. I left work at 7 to go to my sister’s place. I left there around eleven, came home and went to bed.”

“Nothing else happened.”

“Nothing else happened,” you repeated and he sat up straighter.

“Okay. Well just so you know, Dr. Spencer Reid—” he started and your head shot up, your heart slamming against your chest, “He is giving us his professional opinion at the moment, about this case and what might have really happened this morning. Do you have anything you want to change in your story before he’s finished?”

You gawked at him, blinking a couple of times before you turned your head to look at the one-way mirror on the wall.

The BAU was there, behind the mirror.

“….They came back?”

“We’ve sent them the report, yes. They landed an hour ago.”

It was as if somebody was trying to claw your stomach out of your body as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, trying to ignore the burning behind your eyes before you turned to the officer.

“I don’t have anything to change,” you managed to keep your voice stable, “It was a terrible thing, it definitely was but I didn’t do it.”

Someone knocked on the mirror, making you and the officer look that way before he pushed his chair back and left the interrogation room. You closed your eyes for a moment, focusing on your breathing through the blinding headache but opened your eyes when the door opened again.

Luke.

He offered you a small smile and pulled himself a chair.

“Hi.”

“Hello,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, sitting up with your back straight, your hands clasped.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you stole a look at the one-way mirror, “Is he there?”

“Reid?” Luke asked and shook his head, “I had to basically wrestle him out of the hall, he’s…he’s not allowed here. Conflict of interest. He’s giving his statement at the end of the hall as we speak.”

You nodded, digging your fingernails into your palms. “Okay.”

“He also called your sister on our way here. Couldn’t reach her, but left a message. Listen, he can’t request it on your behalf, but you need to ask for a lawyer.”

“I didn’t kill Anthony.”

“I didn’t ask if you killed him, I’m saying you need to ask for a lawyer.”

“Does he think I did it?” you asked and Luke shook his head again.

“No,” he said, “But it doesn’t matter what anyone else believes at this point, Y/N. Ask for a lawyer.”

You kept your back straight, rolling your shoulders. “If Spencer left a message to Mina, she’s coming.”

“Is she a defense lawyer?”

“No but she knows a lot of them.”

He took a deep breath and put the bottle of your pills on the desk, “The officers also found this.”

You tried your hardest to focus, moving your wrists to help with the soreness of the handcuffs. “They’re prescribed.”

“I can see that. The side effects say confusion?”

You arched a brow, “I’m sorry, do I sound confused to you right now?”

“No, you sound way too controlled right now, I may as well have been talking to a robot.”

You gritted your teeth, trying to control the panic bubbling at the pit of your stomach, sending anger through your veins.

“I’m not confused,” you stated, “Besides, I haven’t been taking them lately.”

He threw his head back, pressing his lips together, “God, Y/N, you can’t say that. A psychiatrist prescribed you something and you—“

“They’re just for nightmares, they don’t make you…” you took a deep breath, commanding yourself to stay calm, “I didn’t kill him. I found him like that. It was terrible, but I didn’t do it.”

Someone opened the door again and Emily Prentiss cleared her throat.

“Luke,” she murmured, “Spencer.”

You could feel your heart skip a beat upon hearing his name but kept completely still as Luke left the room and Emily and JJ walked into the room.

“You’re taking turns now?” you asked and Emily cleared her throat,

“Me and JJ are the only people in our team who haven’t spent as much time with you, so we figured it would be better if we interrogated you.”

“I didn’t do it.”

Emily pulled herself a chair as JJ crossed her arms, standing by the wall.

“Can you walk me through what happened this morning?”

You took a deep breath, “I woke up,” you said, “With a headache. I knew something was wrong, I felt it. My window was open, the front door was half open and my phone wasn’t where I left it. I stepped outside my room, saw the blood, went to the kitchen and saw—“ you gritted your teeth and clenched your fists, “Saw my ex-boyfriend there. Dead. Lying in a pool of his blood.”

“But you heard nothing.”

“I never sleep for the whole night,” you said slowly, “Check my blood test. Something happened last night.”

“We don’t have your blood test results yet, but there was no sign of any sexual—“

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” You cut her off, a shiver running down your spine, “That’s not it. Whoever it was, they didn’t touch me, they wanted…”

“What did they want?”

You shrugged slightly, “I don’t know. They wanted me to see it I think. My…my father’s crime scenes.”

JJ took a deep breath and pushed herself off the wall.

“And you don’t think it’s a little too convenient?”

You pulled your brows together, looking at her and she stepped closer to the table, her eyes fixed on you.

“Two victims so far,” she said, “The ones that we knew that were in the same place as you, they had some connection to you. That woman who was killed at the charity ball, you didn’t get along when you were kids, you turned her down as a client before she was killed, and now your ex-boyfriend ends up dead, in your apartment because you sent him a—“ she scoffed, “I’m sorry, someone sent him a late night text, inviting him to your apartment.”

“JJ,” Emily started but JJ held up a hand while you tried to wrap your head around it.

She had a point. Two victims so far had some connection to you and that was not a coincidence, it couldn’t have been.

“You think I did it,” you rasped out and she scoffed.

“I think you had something to do with all of this,” she said, “I think you’ve been trying to manipulate Spencer for something. The best case scenario, you were cheating, that’s why Anthony was there and something went bad, the worst case….” She shook her head, “You’re behind every single murder we’ve been looking into, and Spencer was just a tool for you. He’s my best friend, and if I find one single proof that you put him in harm’s way, I swear to God I will destroy you.”

Two people had ended up dead, and that was your fault. The copycat was going after people who had some kind of connection to you, and apparently no one except you and your family was safe.

The idea was way too painful to even exist inside your head, but it was clear as day. JJ was right, you were putting Spencer in harm’s way just by being with him, and if it were him, if you had seen him lying in a pool of his blood, his eyes wide open—

You dug your fingernails into your palms until it hurt before you managed to lift your head, that invisible wall which kept you safe from anyone and everyone who could possibly see anything you felt going up again.

“You…” you trailed off, your throat burning, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“What does that mean?” Emily asked but before you could say anything, someone slammed the door open, making you and the agents turn.

Mina.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” she asked no one in particular and stepped aside so that 4 lawyers could walk inside before the police officer rushed to you to remove the handcuffs off your wrists.

“You’re not saying another word,” she snapped her fingers, “Come on, we’re leaving.”

“We’re going to need her to sign some papers,” the officer said as Mina grabbed your wrist to pull you out of the room, making you hiss in a breath and she froze, lowering her glances to check your sore wrists for any bruises.

“What did they do to you?”

You shook your head silently, and something in Mina’s gaze shifted. You had seen it only a couple of times, including that time you were getting stitches after some girls in your classroom had ambushed you in the bathroom, and more importantly, you had seen that look on her face when Lily had fever that one time and you all had to rush to the hospital and the doctors said she couldn’t see her.

It was fire, similar to yours, ready to burn everything in its path.

“Don’t say anything to anyone. You two,” she motioned at the two lawyers, “Read whatever she’s supposed to sign.”

The lawyers approached the desk by the door as Mina put her coat over your shoulders, rubbing at your arms as you swayed slightly on your feet, trying to focus.

“We’re leaving, okay sweetheart?”

“Miss—“

“No,” When Mina turned to the police officers and the BAU team, any trace of softness in her voice disappeared, “You don’t talk. If you don’t want to get into even more trouble, you’re going to listen to me right now.”

The officer that had been with you at the interrogation room just blinked a couple of times, obviously taken aback.

“Do you have any idea what you just did to yourself?” she asked, “What you did to this whole precinct? Because allow me to explain, my sister was a victim in this scenario, and you tried to pin this shit on her to make her a scapegoat,” she shook her head, “We will be suing you for defamation of character—“

“Mina, your sister—” JJ started but she snapped her fingers at her.

“I haven’t even started with you yet, wait for your turn.”

“Mina…” you murmured but she didn’t even look like she could hear you,

“Where was I? Defamation of character because press will be all over this, intentional infliction of emotional stress and wrongful arrest and hey, to make things fun we will also be requesting the security footage in the interrogation room and if I see one very small slip of anything that wasn’t supposed to be said and done in that room…” Mina tilted her head, “Well, let’s just say that by the time I’m done with you guys and this whole precinct, the only thing you will be able to afford is going to be a typewriter and a desk.”

One of the lawyers came to tell you the document was alright to sign and as soon as you approached the desk, a door by the hall opened and Spencer stepped out.

It was almost excruciating not to be able to run to him. He looked as shocked as he was and he took a step towards you but JJ stepped in front of him as you grabbed the pen, ignoring the way your name spilled from his lips in a whisper.

“Oh, hi genius.” Mina called out, “Were you getting a glass of water while your team was hounding my sister or something?”

Spencer looked almost confused only for a moment before he turned to look at JJ who deliberately averted her glances from him.

“Mina, this is not necessary,” you croaked out as you signed the papers and she shook her head.

“No, this is very necessary, trust me. You need to show these people what you’re capable of or they will try to fuck you up, case and point.” She turned to Emily, “You’re the one in charge, I suppose?”

“I am.”

“Good. Consider this your warning, because the next time anyone in your team, including the puppy dog eyes over there gets any closer to my sister, we will be getting a restraining order for each and every one of you.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, still swaying on your feet and you hugged the coat around you tighter.

Not that you could do anything other than watching this.

“Your sister is an active part of this investigation, your father specifically asked for—“

“My sister is a civilian,” Mina growled, “She has no responsibility for this case, you do. How about you surprise me and do your fucking jobs?”

You took a breath to say it wasn’t fair, that it wasn’t their fault but Mina turned to look at you.

“Get in the elevator, we’re leaving.”

You were way too tired to fight her, way too tired to even stand there so you followed the army of lawyers to the elevator, while Mina shot the officers and the BAU members a fake smile.

“Pleasure, let’s never do this again,” she said, and got in the elevator with you, and you tried to keep your expression still, Spencer staring at you until the doors slid close.

“4 lawyers?” you managed to say, “I don’t think even Bundy had four lawyers.”

“Tell that to mom,” she said, “She was on the phone with a congressman the last I checked.”

You couldn’t even smile at that, but Mina let out a breath before pulling you into a bone crushing hug, making the tears rush to your eyes as you wrapped your arms around her.

“Never do that to me again, you hear me?” her voice cracked for the first time and you nodded slowly.

“I won’t,” you said, “I promise.”

                                                   ***

It was as if someone had pulled all your energy out of your body. You were exhausted, you could barely understand what anyone was saying but you knew there was no way you could sleep anytime soon.

The blood test, as the lawyers had informed you, finally came back and just like you suspected, they had found traces of chloroform in your system. That and your team of lawyers combined were more than enough to get rid of any kind of accusations against you, so at least you had that.

On the other hand, the fear, the guilt, the sadness were still there inside of you, even if you felt way too numb to reach it.

You wondered if Spencer would have a scientific explanation for that.

Your mother had insisted you would never step a foot into your apartment again, she was already looking for a new apartment for you, one with multiple security systems and until that happened she had told you you would be staying at her house.

The damn thing was way too big anyway and you and Mina had grown up there so you figured it would serve as some sort of shelter.

If it even existed for you.

“Here you go sweetheart,” your mother pushed the tea cup towards you, “Drink it, it’ll make you feel better.”

“I’m fine.”

Kenzie heaved a sigh, “It’s okay if you’re not,” she said, “No one expects you to, anyone would be traumatized.”

“The real estate agent already sent me three apartments,” your mother said, “Huge windows, you love a bright apartment.”

“Mom,” Mina said silently and she heaved a sigh.

“It could help her distract herself,” her head shot up, “Y/N, you should go on a vacation! Somewhere far away from here.”

“Somewhere peaceful could be nice?” Kenzie added, “I think that’s a good idea.”

You and Mina exchanged glances.

“I heard Fiji is lovely this time of the year,” your mother said and you let out a breath.

“Mom, two people died because of me,” you croaked out, “I’m not going to Fiji for vacation.”

“Honey, you could use some peace,” she held your chin carefully and lifted it so that she could look at you better, “You look so…”

“I look like how I feel,” you said and turned your head when the doorbell rang, making Mina sit up straighter.

“Who’s that?” she asked when the maid walked in.

“Spencer Reid?”

“What?” you and Kenzie asked at the same time, your heartbeat getting faster and Mina jumped on her feet but you stopped her, shaking your head.

“It’s okay,” you sniffled, nodding to yourself, “It’s….it’s fine. There’s no point in dragging it out.”

“Dragging what out?” Mina asked you but you walked out of the living room and reached the front door, trying to ignore the warmth filling your system as soon as your eyes caught the sight of him. You stepped out of the house and he pulled you into a tight hug, burying his nose into your hair and inhaling deeply as if it helped him calm down while you just stood there, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay.

You had to do it. No matter how much it hurt you, no matter how much you didn’t want to.

No matter how badly it would rip your heart out.

“You okay?” he asked you, his fingers pushing your hair behind your ear, “I tried your apartment but I figured…”

“Yeah, I’m not going back there,” you shrugged your shoulders, “I’ll move out, it’s fine.”

“Do you want to stay at my place?” he asked quickly and you closed your eyes for a moment, every cell in your body begging you to change your mind.

You couldn’t though. You’d rather die than see him lying in a pool of his blood, all because of you.

“Don’t say that,” you whispered and opened your eyes again, “Please don’t say that.”

He looked almost confused, tilting his head to the side like a puppy before it dawned on him.

“Is this about the file on me?”

You shook your head and he took a deep breath.

“About today?”

“I didn’t send that message,” you said, “To Anthony, I mean. I wouldn’t…. I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

“I know that.”

“And I didn’t kill him. I don’t know if you heard, but the blood tests came back positive for—”

“I never doubted that, not even for one second,” he insisted, “With or without blood test.”

“You might be the only one,” you murmured and he paused for a moment.

“What did JJ say to you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Because we had an argument on the jet on our way back here and whatever she said…”

You shook your head again, trying to smile.

“I get it,” you murmured, “She’s your best friend, she’s protective of you. That’s normal.”

“Yeah but if she thinks that you’re capable of—”

“I want to break up.”

You could swear the words burned your mouth, some invisible hand clutching your heart tighter and tighter as you willed yourself to keep your eyes on the street, because you were sure that every wall you built to keep your emotions under control would crash down the moment you looked at him. Out of the corner of your eye you could see that he froze and he blinked a couple of times, as if he was lost.

“What?” he asked silently and you tried to swallow the lump growing bigger and bigger in your throat.

“Y/N, wait—no,” he said quickly, breathing hard, “Listen, whatever they said to you today during the interrogation, if that’s what this is about—”

“It has nothing to do with that,” you forced yourself to say, crossing your arms and he took a step closer to you.

“Whatever the problem is,” he rasped out, “We can solve it, okay? Don’t do this.”

That was when it dawned on you.

It wasn’t enough to push him away. You had to make sure to burn that bridge so that neither of you could ever find your way back to each other.

“It’s not one of your cases Spencer, you can’t solve this one,” you muttered and finally turned your head to look up at him, your stomach churning at the sight of betrayal on his face.

“I don’t understand.”

“You—it’s—“ you stammered, trying to find the words, “It’s going way too fast, alright? It’s going way too fast and it’s going to fucking crash, and I can’t—“ you cleared your throat when your voice cracked, “I’m not going to crash with this, I can’t.”

Your father had taught you this way too long ago, when you were too young to even question it.

Stab the prey, twist the knife, pull it back and watch them bleed.

Stab the prey.

“I mean come on Spencer, we’re not in love or anything,” you shrugged your shoulders, “Should be easy enough.”

He stared at you for a couple of seconds, his mouth slightly agape and his brows furrowed, shock written all over his face.

“We’re not in love?” he repeated, “You…you don’t love me?”

Twist the knife.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

His eyes searched your face, as if looking for any kind of clue that could tell him you were lying, or that it was a trick but for once, it was in vain.

You’d had spent years learning how to control your emotions and your expression when it came to heartbreak.

Pull it back.

“It’s not my fault if you’re in love,” you said, each word making you hate yourself more and more, “I can’t be held responsible for that.”

Stabbing yourself would’ve been less painful, you were sure of that but you knew you had to keep going. One last step, one last sentence and you would be done.

Watch them bleed.

“I never told you to love me.”

Then, silence.

You had to give it to him though, it took him faster than it would’ve taken you to pull yourself together if you were the one on the receiving end of this. He blinked back the tears, clenched his jaw and in a second, his gaze turned cold, exactly like yours.

“Yeah,” he said slowly, nodding, “You didn’t.”

But you had forgotten one small detail. 

Spencer knew how to withdraw that knife and stab back.

You cleared your throat and turned around to get inside the house but before you could step in, you heard his voice.

“I was wrong.”

You looked over your shoulder, clutching at the straws to keep it together, “I’m sorry?”

“I was wrong,” he stated, his voice was distant and held no trace of its usual warmth, “Before, I mean. In terms of behavior and psychology, you’re exactly your father’s daughter.”

With that, he walked away from the house, and you just stood there for a moment before stepping into the house and closing the door behind you, that comfortable haze of shock slowly withdrawing from your mind like mist. That hand squeezing your heart twisted it in your chest and you tried to breathe, pressing a hand on your chest.

“Sweetheart?” your mother called out as she stepped into the hallway, then slowly approached you, “You okay?”

It was impossible to stop the tears rushing to your eyes now and a gasp escaped from your lips as you shook your head.

“Mom,” you whimpered, “Please, my—my heart hurts...”

She rushed to you and shushed you gently, pulling you into a tight hug and caressing your hair as you slipped to the ground and you buried your face to her shoulder.

Then the sobs came.

Chapter 18

[bittermuire]

A (long) analysis of Azriel,

+ a bit of discussion about Gwynriel vs. Elriel at the end.

Lately I’ve seen much discussion surrounding Azriel, and there seems to be a lot of hazy gray area. We know he has a terrible past, carries a lot of trauma, is both mentally and physically scarred, and has disturbingly possessive habits. But why? That’s the question.

I think most of Azriel’s character can be filtered into three sections: his anger, his possessiveness, and his self-loathing. Altogether I believe these form his crippling sense of emotional immaturity, which ultimately shines through most every action he makes in the books.

So yes, I firmly believe Az is a child in the body of a 500 year old Fae. But is he treated as such? No. No, he is not. In fact, he’s treated as the exact opposite, and that can’t be doing wonders for his mental health (which is already in shambles. Off to a cheery start.)

Let’s take a look at his past. He was both mentally and physically abused for the majority of his childhood. Then he was thrown into an unforgiving culture that both mentally and physically abused him as well. Then he was essentially bullied by Cassian and Rhysand for quite a while... until they randomly decided to like him, which is a choice he didn’t seem to play a hand in. And then he became a professional torturer. All the while falling madly in love and becoming obsessed with a female who can’t love him back. Not to mention he’s been ostracized his entire life.

(One big thing though, that I’m going to reference frequently, is Azriel’s constant chase of “happiness.” Kind of like my friends with ADHD. We squeeze all the serotonin we can get out of one thing and then fall into a listless, depressed haze until we find another. I honestly think Azriel does the same thing with people--he latches onto them and lets his mood swings rely on how much attention they do or do not pay him, and whether it is positive or negative.)

So I’m going to go through his relationships with pivotal characters and try to explain what I think is really going on with Azriel.

Regarding Mor:

He was obsessed with her for most of his life. He was incredibly possessive of her and fell instantly in love upon seeing her. Do I think it was love? No. But does Azriel think it was love? Yes, and that is so important. It shows how desperate he was for human connection.

This “love” spiraled into centuries-long obsession that we’ve all seen play out throughout the series. But why is it obsession, and not love? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say that Azriel doesn’t know how to love. He’s never been shown genuine love and so he doesn’t know how to show it to others in the way he intends. He’s basically a baby.

But right after he falls head over heels, Mor sleeps with Cassian, and then Cassian plays the role of the buffer between the two of them all the way up until the events of ACOSF. This is where I think Azriel’s anger comes into play. He can’t get to Mor. His best friend, his brother, is blocking him from her. He can’t touch her, love her, feel her, and he’s so desperate to. But he literally has no way to communicate it because he doesn’t know how, and so he responds in the one way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. And intense protectiveness that eventually begins to translate as possessiveness.

Again, he lets his happiness rely on Mor because he can’t make himself happy, and so his lack of emotional maturity ends up revealing him as desperate and unable to communicate his feelings of inadequacy and frustration. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, not at all. But I think this could be a decent explanation.

Regarding Cassian and Rhysand:

I mean... I kind of hate the way these two have treated Azriel. They all have their fair share of trauma, but Cassian and Rhys also bullied him and ostracized him, and then basically said, “Oh, we like you now.” Which completely leaves Azriel in the dark as to where he stands with them, and strips him of awareness regarding how his friendships with them will operate.

And then he becomes the head of espionage for the Night Court, which involves lots and lots of torture. What kind of message does that send? You’ve seen dirty things, Az, so you don’t mind doing the rest of the dirty things for us, right? That’s the only real message I can get from this. Which then plants the message in Azriel’s head of: Not only do I do dirty things, I myself am a dirty, disgusting thing. Thus, furthering his already deep-seated sense of self-loathing.

Plus, the IC generally operates with a pack-like mindset. One person’s method of healing is everyone’s method of healing. It worked for one person, so it worked for everyone. It’s a very naive mindset, and very toxic as well, so it’s not surprising that literally everyone in the IC is colossally messed up despite preaching themselves as having overcome their demons.

So Azriel never really gets to understand himself and mature as a person. He’s stuck pretending to be perfectly fine underneath Rhysand’s oh-so-benevolent and compassionate hand. Rhysand and Cassian recognize Az as being a little... odd, by seeming to think things like “he’s the quiet one” and “he’s the serious, scary one.” But do they attempt to understand him? No. They leave him to his own devices and let him figure it out himself.

That’s the issue. He’s not ever going to figure it out himself, so long as he’s surrounded by the people who’ve been unwittingly suffocating him for most of his life.

Regarding Elain:

Azriel’s infatuation with Elain, in my opinion, comes as a direct result of his detachment from Mor. Just like one hyperfixation fades quickly from an all-consuming thing to a passing thought, Azriel has shifted from one obsession to the next, in order to keep his spirits on a high.

But I think his feelings for Elain reveal a lot of what Mor did not. Why does he view Elain as so holy compared to him? Why is he so hesitant to touch her? Why does he put her on such a pedestal? That’s his self-loathing coming through again. He hates himself so much that he has to place her above him.

He wants to touch her and love her, just as he did with Mor, but again he is unable. It's a repeating pattern that he can’t get himself out of.

Let’s also look at the way Elain and Azriel’s friendship/relationship began. He had to take care of her, and treat her with utmost respect. She looked at his scars or his siphons, both monstrous looking things, and called them beautiful. Let’s remember that he’s basically a child who’s rarely known genuine love. The minute he gets a glimpse of it, he’s going to grab it by the neck and crush it to his chest. Plus, the fact that she’s the last sister left unattached and he’s the last brother left unattached is probably even more convincing for him that he and Elain are meant for each other. When he’s denied this love that’s come nearly close enough to grab, he responds in the only way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. Just like he did with Mor.

But moving on, that glimpse of potential love comes from Elain. That’s why he’s able to let go of Mor; a relationship with Elain suddenly becomes possible. He’s terrified of ruining this potential love and is incredibly drawn to her all the same. Best of all? She wants him too.

BUT. Azriel knows how fragile Elain is, so he walks on glass around her, coddling her, putting her first like he’s put everyone else first since being a part of the IC. I think he wants to save her from becoming like him. He essentially plays the role of her white knight, entirely losing his sense of self-preservation (not that he ever had one), and thus loses any chance of letting Elain help him mature in return.

Regarding Gwyn:

Now, Gwyn is a different story.

We know Azriel likes her. Maybe not in a consciously romantic way, but he likes her. She makes him smile and laugh, and he finds her amusing. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around her.

The big thing, I think, is that he doesn’t have to take care of her. At least, I think that’s what makes him so comfortable around her. With Gwyn, he can relax, and he doesn’t have to watch every move he makes. She treats him like a regular person and he treats her similarly.

Now, is it a bad thing that he doesn’t put her on a saint-like pedestal like he does Elain? No. Definitely not. I think this ordinary friendship signals a much healthier relationship than his festering obsession with Elain. Gwyn simply being his friend and not someone that he feels he has to be perfect for is a good foundation for Azriel growing as a person.

Gwynriel vs. Elriel (the necklace):

Honestly, I’m scared for whatever SJM decides to do, because Azriel has a shitload of trauma to move past and years worth of emotional growth needed before he can be a steady partner in a relationship. Both Gwyn and Elain’s character arcs are definitely not finished and so I think that no matter which way his narrative goes, it’s going to be disappointing in some aspect or another, unfortunately. I don’t think that either one of the females’ arcs really fit well with Azriel’s.

But I’m going to take a closer look at the necklace, because I think it’s a telling narrative point.

For Azriel, the necklace for Elain and Gwyn herself, are both “thing[s] of secret, lovely beauty” to him.

By describing the necklace for Elain as such (instead of Elain herself), Azriel unconsciously reveals his more idealistic view of Elain rather than his love for Elain herself. I kind of get the sense of Azriel giving offerings to a goddess, or something like that. He seems to be more preoccupied with appeasing Elain than actually loving her.

Now, this probably comes from, again, his self-loathing and his emotional immaturity. I’m just repeating myself at this point. He doesn’t know how to love himself and he doesn’t know how to love anyone else.

But then he describes Gwyn as such. Gwyn, the person. In my opinion, this demonstrates a potentially much healthier relationship than what he has with Elain. Azriel, instead of wanting to be perfect for Gwyn and wanting to appease her, is simply made happy by the thought of her. It is Gwyn whom he is taken with, not the idea of Gwyn loving him. And so that takes off so much pressure for him, and introduces the hope that he might be able to mature as a person in a friendship or romantic relationship with Gwyn.

Closing thoughts:

Azriel is a blundering, hormonal child desperate for love with no idea of how to get it, in a 500 year old Fae’s body. He’s also surrounded by people who refuse to address his clear issues... his future’s pretty dim, and I think he realizes it. Which is why whoever SJM chooses to be his romantic interest is going to be very important.

In short, I’m scared for what’s to come. But fingers crossed that his incredibly complex character is done justice.

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)

yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao

word count: 5.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.

Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been. 

You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.

This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already. 

You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.

Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.

At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind. 

These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea. 

After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:

“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”

His response came quickly.

“Done. Both.”

You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.

Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.

“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.

You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.

“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”

“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”

“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.

“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table. 

You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently. 

“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.

“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.

“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.

“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth. 

“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”

“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.

The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.

“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”

Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion. 

“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”

His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…

Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.

“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way. 

You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.

“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.

“Oh.”

“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”

Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.

“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”

You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.

“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”

“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”

You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him. 

“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.

“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”

“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”

“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”

“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”

“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”

“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”

“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.

“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“That sounded more like a no.”

“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”

“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”

“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”

Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.

“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”

You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.

“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.

“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”

“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.

“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”

“Harry…”

“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”

You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again. 

Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?

It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run. 

He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance. 

***

It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did. 

You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all. 

For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.

Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.

“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.

“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.

“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.

“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”

The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.

“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.

“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.

“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”

You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”

“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.

“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”

“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.

“Baba!” she exclaims.

“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.

When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.

“You want me to give you a ride?”

“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”

“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”

“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.

Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”

“Uh, sure. It is.”

“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”

“Great. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, babe.”

The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.

“Um… neutral, I guess?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands. 

“That’s nice, was it his idea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”

“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”

“Harry, I…”

“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.

“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”

“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.

“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”

“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”

Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.

Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.

“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind. 

Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.

“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”

“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”

“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”

“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”

“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”

At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.

“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”

Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.

“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”

“What?” you gasp.

“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.

“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”

“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.

“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”

He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again. 

“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”

“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”

“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”

“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”

Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.

“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”

“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”

“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”

You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?

You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away. 

“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.

“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”

“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”

At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.

“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.

By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor. 

Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.

It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions. 

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[xgryffinwhore]

mama i’m in love with a hitman

summary: two years with barry what could go wrong? oh yeah hes a murderer-

warnings: some angst, marriage proprosal oop-

you had originally begun acting because it was the only affordable option to get you some time away from your family. ya, you still lived with your family.

anyways, acting became kind of like a release for you. you had been going for about 4 months now, you loved everyone you worked with, they were such great people.

then one day, barry berkman showed up,

and basically changed your life.

the first day you saw him, your heart basically feel out of your ass. holy shit was this guy hot; tall, mysterious, and awkward as hell. perfect.

you took him under your wing, immediately engaging with him and bugging him about his person endeavors and whatnot. you two became inseparable, youre bascially the only reason he even uses his messaging app.

you showed him the ropes of LA, giving him tours of sketchy venues, shitty Chinese restaurants. you always felt so awful for him, dragging him around to every place.

"I'm sorry, barry, im just trying to give you the full LA experience"

"its ok, being seen with the prettiest girl in LA isnt so bad"

yeah, one thing led to another, and you had moved into barry's apartment a year after. your relationship was strong; you cuddle, argue, fuck, all of that modern day romance contraband.

everything was exceptional, other than the fact that he was dragging his feet on marrying you...

yeah, you had dropped some major hints. wedding magazines everywhere, leaving honeymoon deals up on the desktop, evening face timing your friend and talking obnoxiously loud about the idea of getting hitched.

tomorrow was your two year anniversary, and you two had been buzzing about it all week, all the lovey dovey language and such.

"babe, tomorrows the day" he squeezed your shoulders from behind you. you were sitting at the coffee table, and he had just served you toast. "i know old man, didnt think we'd last did ya?" "first of all, im only like four years older than you, second" he kissed you on your temple "i knew you were the one."

in the midst of sipping your coffee and passing back and forth news papers, barry’s phone begins to vibrate; the name “Fuches” catches your eye. who was fuches and why did barry have to step out of the room to answer it?

when he came back he looked ghostly, his complexion pale and his lips quivering slightly. “all ok?” you ask, trying to sound lowkey; “uh um- yep. just have to head out for a bit, they need me at work.”

he left abruptly after, grabbing a hat and his black coat. weird. it was the middle june.

you hadn’t heard from him all day, except for a text at lunch that said

barry: Won’t be home tonight, dont forget to lock up.

your heart sunk, the day before your two year. i mean really what was his damage? you didn’t realize how hard it was to fall asleep without him, you tossed and turned until you eventually caved in and called.

ring...... ring.....

ring..........ring......

‘hey! it’s barry berk-uh um block! leave a message if you want to i guess um ok bye howthefuck do i turnthisthing off-OHH!’

oh how you missed that dorky man, true, it had only been a few hours but his touch was your saving grace. the line beeped and you decided to leave him something

“aha hey bar, y/n here. beds cold without you. miss you. be safe.”

the night way cold and long, you were drifting to sleep. but you heard the front door jangle. you sleepily run down the hall way and run straight into barry. you hugged him, his bosy was stiff and he was trying to inch away from you. "bar!" you whined looking up at him, his nose was bloody and he had a black eye.

“bar?” you wiped his cupid’s bow, the sleepy haze quickly wearing off. he pushes past you “just fell, please just wait for me in bed.” by the time you caught up with him at the bathroom, the door was already shut.

you heard the shower turn on, and you could hear him faintly hiss in pain. he was in there for a while, by the time he got back you could hear the birds chirp, which means it must have been close to 5 am. the sun was still down, and you watch his dark figure slip into bed next you to.

“i love you.” he whispered

“i love you too.” you turned to face him, you knew something was up, you knew he had been hiding something.

“you always leave in the night, when i’m sleeping you always leave barry. is it another women?” barry’s face contorts into a confused scribble. “y/n what? you’re the only one.”

“then why don’t you tell me what you’re really up to. go’s we’ve been dating for two years and you can’t even tell me why you sneak away in the night?!”

barry grabs your hands and puts them close to his face “god y/n i’m sorry happy two years” he gushed and kisses your fingers. a tear trailed down his stubbly cheek. “there are just things i can’t tell you because i don’t want to lose you.”

this hurt you, barry knew all of your deepest secrets, the things you never told anyone other then him. all of this had you worked up, how could he speak to you this way the day of your two year mark? despite his protests, you packed a tooth brush and drove to your friends to stay the night. this was just too much for 3am, you needed space. to clear your head.

you didnt sleep at all that night, you nodded off from 8am to 10, your friend waking you up. "girl i know you dont want to hear this... but barry is outside, hes been parked here since 9" she threw your jeans at you "now go outside and work this shit out, im not prepared to deal with your heart boken ass."

so you put on jeans, and headed for disaster.

you came outside, 'sleepy always looks so good on her' barry thought to himself. you loved him so much, it was so hard to fight with him.

"listen bar, im sorry im just sensitive you know th-"

"y/n"

barry never interrupted you. for as long as you remember there has never once been a time where barry talked over you, or interrupted what you were saying. its something you loved about him, he always seemed so interested in what you had to say, he thought your words where so important.

"yes?"

he pulled a rolled up magazine out of his pack pocket, it was yours, it had faded circles on what cakes and dresses you wanted. he unrolled it and scurried to the 5th page. he pointed at the big raise ranch that you put exclamation points next to.

"this house, i want this house."

he went to the 8th page.

"and this car, we could have that if i stop going to wendys so much"

he giggled to himself and mumbled something about how he knows a guy that can re pair a cooling system.

'uh-um ok barry, what does this have to do with anything? house, car, is this what you drove over here to tell me? you want a better car? you need a bigger house."

he shook his head and trialed to the second page with that beautiful sheath wedding dress, you remembered that.

"youll wear this yeah? some time in the early fall. wouldnt that be nice, still warm, and the leaves-oh the leaves- orange and yellow bring out your eyes so i just figured."

he pulled out the rock, and shit, it didn’t disappoint. you’re not materialistic but what the FUCK?! how did he even afford that-

he slipped it on your finger and you both embraced. messy kisses all over whatever skin you two could find. it was bliss, it was happiness.

you hugged for a while. just sat there reflecting on how far you two had come, and how happy he was going to make you feel for the res rod your life. it’s crazy, you thought marriage wasn’t in the cards for you. but with barry, you can see 5 kids, a dog, and a stupid picket fence.

you were so captured in this moment, you didn’t notice barry’s demeanor change. you looked up and him, he was pale white, staring behind his shoulder at the street. you leaned over his forearm and saw a beat up mom car.

in it was a shaggy dude, didn’t look too much older then barry. he was plump in the face, and his face was aged.

“fuches!?” barry exclaimed.

“come on. we have a hit, i habe your sniper in the back. now.”

another WHAT?

[dukeofonions]

The Problem With Asides

Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show. 

And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know. 

That being said, let’s get into this, shall we? 

(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)

Part One: The Concept of Asides

Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce. 

Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series. 

We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right? 

(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)

Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode. 

So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait. 

I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon! 

At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy. 

Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one. 

Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened? 

Part Two: Literally the Same Show

At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand. 

To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes. 

Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides. 

1. They’re just as angsty.

2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.

3. Take about just as long to produce.

4. Contain a lesson to be learned. 

Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot. 

ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later. 

Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.

So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing. 

For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem. 

(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner) 

It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.

All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?

So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense? 

Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First. 

You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?

Part Three: Intrusive Plots

At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly. 

Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts. 

Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”

And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.

DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.

We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word. 

We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video. 

This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS? 

Virgil. 

He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there? 

Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-

*insert random voice whispering off to the side*

 Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When? 

*whispers continue*

Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again? 

*whispers explain*

Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?

*whispers confirm*

Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them. 

So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS. 

*whispers explain* 

He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense… 

Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress. 

Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes. 

Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.

First here:

 Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident. 

The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:

“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.” 

(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)

As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be. 

Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.

This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing. 

Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower. 

And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.

They stay silent.

Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.

Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes. 

We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.

*whispers return and begin to whisper*

I’m sorry what?

*whispers repeat*

Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to. 

*whispers whisper*

Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!

*whisper* 

In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?

*whisperly whisper*

They get along just fine as if nothing happened? 

*whispersty*

It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive? 

*whisper* 

Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall? 

Okay, I guess that all makes sense… 

Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas! 

Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?

Part Four: The Problem

Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began. 

When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to. 

The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus. 

Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense. 

The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion. 

Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place. 

We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale. 

Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series? 

You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever. 

FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much. 

We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that? 

Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series. 

It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse. 

We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.

All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?

The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.

Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing. 

But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road. 

Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.

I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides. 

We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us. 

We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.

(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Ayato Route ー Chapter 3

ー The scene starts in the hotel room

Yui: ( Ayato-kun still hasn’t returned it seems... )

( I wonder where he went? Should I go look for him...? )

*Rustle rustle*

ー She goes down to the lobby

Yui: ( Ah, I recognize that back... )

Ayato-kun!

ー She runs up to him

Ayato: ...Chichinashi...

Yui: Where were you? I was worri...ーー

( ...Huh...? )

Hey, what’s wrong? You seem kind of tired...

Ayato: Shut up. I’m fine.

More importantly, are you well enough to be up and running again?

Yui: I’m fine, but...

Ayato: Mmh. Let’s go look for the locksmith together then.

Yui: Yeah...We have to find some sort of lead first though...

Ayato: I’ve got one. Seems like he’s hanging out in Saint Nore Park.

I found this person who spotted him there, you see...

Yui: Eh...?

( Then, could he have been looking around for the locksmith on his own this whole time...? )

Ayato: We might lose track of him again if we sit around too long. Let’s go.

Yui: Gotcha.

( ... )

ー She reaches for his hand

Ayato: ...Why did you grab my hand all of a sudden...?

Yui: S-Sorry...But...

( I was thinking of a way to say thank you and suddenly felt like doing this... )

Ayato: Hm, whatever. Anyway, let’s hurry.

Yui: Yeah!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Yui: It’s still as crowded as ever...

Ayato: Yeah, you’re right...

Yui: ( What to do? Even if we know he’s here, with this many people around... )

Ayato: Well then. Guess it’s time for these bad boys to make an appearance.

Yui: ...? Ayato-kun, are those...?

Ayato: Hehe. I figured out what the dude looks like while I was gatherin’ information on him.

I drew this portrait of him. Whatcha think? There’s just no way we won’t find him with this, right?

Yui: ( ...I thought it was an animal of some sorts...But it’s actually a portrait... )

( Ayato-kun seems very confident but...I’m honestly a little worried... )

Ayato: ...What? Got a problem with my drawing?

Yui: Eh? ...No, that’s not it, but...

Ayato: ...? But, what?

Yui: Well...

Selection

→ Beg the question

Yui: ...No, it’s nothing...

Ayato: ...Hmm. Well, whatever.

→ Praise him (☾)

Yui: ...No, it’s nothing. I just thought your art style is very distinctive...

Ayato: Hah, right? You’ve got a good eye!

Yui: ( Either way...I feel as if I’ve seen this face somewhere before... )

( ...Am I just imagining things...? )

Ayato: ‘Kay! Let’s go ‘round the whole park showin’ people this portrait!

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Che, fuck...We’re not havin’ any luck...

Yui: Yeah...You’re right...

( We’ve been walking around the park asking others for information, but we haven’t even gotten any clues... )

( I guess it’s impossible with just a single portrait... )

Ayato: Hm? ...Ah!

Yui: ...What?

Ayato: Oi, take a look over there...!

Yui: Eh...?

???: Hahaha, then afterwards...

Yui: ( For some reason...That man vaguely looks like...the portrait drawn by Ayato-kun...? )

Ayato: It’s definitely him! Oi, let’s go!

Yui: Y-Yeah...!

( Way to go, Ayato-kun! ...I guess? )

ー They run up to the man

Ayato: Hey, Old Geezer! You’re the locksmith, right?

???: ...I can’t deny I’m the one and only but... ...! You’re that guy from yesterday...!

Yui: Eh? ...Ah! You’re...!

ー A flashback ensues

Vampire gentleman: I was shocked to find you passed out here! Did you come with someon...ーー

ー Ayato runs up to them

Ayato: ...Oi! What are you doin’ to her!? Back off at once!!

*THUD*

Vampire gentleman: Uguh!?

Yui: ...! Ayato-kun!?

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( The guy who helped me yesterday...And who was kicked by Ayato-kun...! )

( Who would have thought he was actually the locksmith...! )

Locksmith: What do you want? I didn’t think I would run into you two again here...

Just when I was enjoying the Parade too...

Take a look! My smile has been turned upside down because of you!

Yui: W-We’re so sorry...!

Ayato: Che...For real? No wonder the guy struck me as familiar when I was drawin’ his portrait...

Listen, dude. I’m sorry for what I did yesterday...I was convinced you were...

Yui: Um, we truly feel sorry. It’s just, Ayato-kun honestly didn’t mean any harm. 

He just got the wrong idea and...Well...

Locksmith: Hmhp! A little late for those excuses now. Besides, I’m enjoying my vacation right now.

I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t disturb me. Now leave.

Yui: ...But...!

Ayato: Listen up. There’s somethin’ we wanna ask of you.

Locksmith: ...Of me?

*Cling*

Ayato: ...It’s this. We have to fix this key by the end of today, no matter what...

I’m beggin’ you. Can’t you please help us out?

Locksmith: ...And give me one good reason to do that!? The answer is no.

Ayato: Didn’t I say ‘please!?’ If not, she’ll...Yui will...

Yui: ...Ayato-kun...

Locksmith: What does she have to do with it?

Ayato: ...Long story short, we need your skill to be able to save her!

So stop complainin’ and help us out!

*Thud*

Yui: ...Ayato-kun! C-Calm down...!

Locksmith: Hmph! You should probably do something about that short temper of yours.

...Anyway, if I don’t fix that key, something bad will happen to the young lady over here, correct?

...I suppose I have no other choice then. Let me make you an offer then.

Ayato: An offer?

Locksmith: Exactly. I challenge you to a game of go-cart. If you win, I will help you out.

Yui: ...! Really?

Locksmith: Yes, I mean it. Hey, you. This is how you negotiate with someone. Take mental note.

Ayato: Che, the fuck? This locksmith thinks he’s the shit...I don’t like him.

But fine. I just need to beat you in a go-cart race, right? Challenge accepted! You better brace yourself!

Oi, watch me, Chichinashi. I’m takin’ this victory home for sure.

Yui: Yeah...!

( Good luck, Ayato-kun...! )

Explanation: The player controls the go-cart of the character. Hitting the obstacles will slow you down. By touching the arrow, you can speed up. Use the D-pad to alternate lanes and reach the finish before time runs out.

You can play this game in EASY, NORMAL or HARD mode.

Ayato: Awesome, I win!

Locksmith: I didn’t think you could win against me in a go-cart race. ...As to be expected of Karlheinz’s son.

Yui: Eh? You knew...?

Locksmith: ...Guess so. That’s exactly why I wanted to beat him.

Ayato: Anyway, you’ll fix this key as you promised, right?

Locksmith: Yeah, of course. You won fair and square after all.

Ayato: I did it, Yui!

ー He scoops her up in his arms

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah!

( Gosh, Ayato-kun...! )

Ayato: Heh! Didn’t I tell you? Yours Truly never loses...

There’s nobody out there who can beat me. I’m always number one!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the locksmith’s shop

Locksmith: Well then, come on in.

*Thud*

Yui: ( Wow. There’s many keys I’ve never seen before... )

Locksmith: ...Well then, show me the broken key.

Ayato: Yeah. It’s this bad boy.

*Cling*

Locksmith: ...Hm, this is...

...

Yui: ( ...He went quiet. He looks a little troubled... )

Ayato: Oi, what do you say? You can fix it, right?

Locksmith: ...I can. However...I will need a special mineral to do so.

Yui: A special...mineral?

Ayato: You just have to attach one side to the other, right!? Then why not use whatever you have laying ‘round to glue it together!?

Locksmith: ...No, that won’t work. Well, let me just show you. For example, if I try to use this metal...

*Cling cling*

*Thud*

Ayato: ...!?

Yui: ( ...The metal bounced off...? )

Locksmith: ...See? This key has been manufactured in a special way and can only be fixed by using an identical material.

It’ll be difficult to repair the key without the right mineral.

Yui: No way...

Ayato: Then we just gotta dig up that mineral from somewhere, right!? Where can we find it?

Locksmith: Even here in the Demon World, you can only find it in a select few locations.

The closest site would be...Right. The abandoned mine on Smaragd Volcano...

That place used to be a goldmine for all sorts of minerals. I’m sure you could still dig some up to this day.

Ayato: The volcano, right? ‘Kay, gotcha! Oi, Chichinashi! We’re leavin’ right away. Follow me!

*Rustle*

Yui: Ah! Ayato-kun!

ー The scene shifts to Diamante Fountain

Ayato: That bein’ said, how are we gonna get to this abandoned mine...?

It can’t be helped...The Four-Eyes might just know a good way.

Okay, I’m gonna send him a message through my Familiar.

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: ( ...Ayato-kun’s trying his very best... )

( He barely got any sleep last night either, did he...? I feel kind of bad... )

( For one, I wonder if this stuff we’re doing right now is really what the Count expects from us...? )

( I won’t deny that we broke into his house and broke the key, but... )

ー A flashback ensues

???: ...Exactly. While everyone else is too preoccupied with the Parade.

???: ...I will act as the decoy. ...As for the location, is Zartan’s Mouth okay?

???: Yes, I do not mind. However, there’s a few issues...

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( They were being kind of suspicious, right...? )

( I wonder what exactly that key is for...? )

( If those guys are trying to commit a crime using that key... )

( We basically aided them in that, no...? )

( In that case, the Count will... )

Ayato: Oi, what’s wrong? You’ve got a frown on your face...

Yui: ...Ayato-kun...

Ayato: I got a response from Reiji. That bastard really knows all the weird shit, huh?

But it saved our ass this time. It seems like we’ll need some tools, so let’s go collect them right away.

Yui: Y-Yeah...But...

Ayato: ...? What?

Yui: Shouldn’t you take a little break first?

You know...You haven’t been able to rest at all since yesterday, right?

Ayato: ...That’s what you’re worried about? I’m totally fine.

Besides, it’s my fault all of this happened in the first place, right?

You really think I can sit still and rest now...?

Yui: ( Ayato-kun... )

Ayato: The quickest route to the volcano is to take a gondola and go up the canal.

I’m sure you’re tired as well, but let’s push through a lil’ longer and rest on the journey there, ‘kay?

Yui: ...I’m fine. I’m much more worried about you...

Ayato: Didn’t you hear me when I said I’m fine? You weirdo. ...Let’s go.

Yui: Yeah...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Rubien Canal

Ayato: Accordin’ to Reiji’s message, there’s a lake at the end of this canal.

And the entrance to the mountain should be somewhere in the nearby forest.

Yui: ...

Ayato: ...? Oi, what’s wrong? You’ve been actin’ off this whole time, you know?

...You’re not feeling sick again, are you?

Yui: ...I’m not! There’s just been something on my mind...

Ayato: On your mind? What is it? Tell me.  You shouldn’t keep secrets from me.

Yui: ...It’s about that key...

Ayato: ...The key?

Yui: ...Yeah. I was just wondering what they’d use that key for...

Ayato: ...Well, it didn’t seem like they’re up to any good.

Yui: ...! You think so too?

Ayato: I mean, those dudes in the basements were obviously actin’ suspicious, no?

They were hella pissed we listened in on their conversation as well. I’m sure they’re up to something.

Yui: ...In that case, what we’re doing right now is...

Ayato: ...Hmph. But you know, what’s the point in worryin’ ‘bout that?

Anyway, it’s my fault the key broke...

If they won’t forgive me unless I get it fixed, then I have no other choice.

That’s all the Count told us. We don’t exactly have the time to worry ‘bout what comes after, right?

Yui: You’re not wrong but...

Ayato: Oh, seems like we’re here.

ー The scene shifts to Tilkeys Falls

Yui: ( Waah...What a beautiful place. )

Ayato: ‘Kay, let’s keep goin’. Here, gimme your hand.

Yui: Yeah.

*Rustle*

( Swan-shaped boats...Everyone seems to having a lot of fun... )

( I would have loved to come here on a date with Ayato-kun instead... )

( However, now’s not the time for that. )

Ayato: ...

*Rustle*

Yui: ...Kyah!

( Ayato-kun, out of nowhere...! )

Ayato: Why do you keep makin’ those gloomy expressions?

Don’t worry. Once we find the right mineral real quick and get the key repaired...

I’ll for sure retrieve your heart from the Count, okay?

Then afterwards, let’s enjoy ourselves here to the fullest before headin’ home. How does that sound?

Yui: Ayato-kun...

( Could it be, he’s trying to cheer me up...Right? )

Fufu. You’re right. We better hurry then.

Ayato: Yeah!

ー The scene shifts to the mine site

Ayato: Che, this place’s pretty slippery...Oi. Watch your step, ‘kay?

Yui: Yeah...

( It’s pretty creepy in here...It looks rather worn out as well... )

( It won’t collapse, right...? I’m a little worried... )

*Thud*

Ayato: There we go...Guess ‘round here should do. Let’s try diggin’ into the ground.

Yui: I’ll start over here then...

Ayato: No, you don’t need to help out. I’d rather not have you collapse on me again. Just sit there and watch, ‘kay?

Yui: ...But...!

Ayato: I just said it’s fine, right? Anyway, let’s get started! Heave...hoh!

*THUD*

*Rustle*

Ayato: Uwah!

Yui: Kyaah!

Ayato: Che, bats...? Don’t give me a scare...There...!

*THUD THUD*

Ayato: Reiji knew more ‘bout the mineral.

It’s some kind of magic crystal about the size of a fist which gives off a silver shine.

Yui: Silver...? 

Ayato: Yeah. That���s why the dark will work to our advantage! If it shimmers, we should be able to spot it right away!

*THUD*

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah!

( Again...! Is something lurking around...? )

Ayato: Hah, whatcha pissin’ your pants for? I bet it’s some lower class Familiar again?

*Flap flap*

Ayato: Che, it’s hella noisy though. It keeps on distractin’ me. I’ll chase it away!

*Thud*

Ayato: Imma go take a look up ahead so you stay here, ‘kay?

ー Ayato walks away

Yui: A-Ayato-kun...

( He left...Will he be okay...? )

Ayato: Hm? The fuck’s this? ...Wait. Uwah!? 

*CAW*

Ayato: Uwaahーー!!

Yui: ...!? Ayato-kun!?

( O-Oh no...! )

ー She rushes to his side

Yui: Ayato-kun, what’s wrong!?

( ...He’s gone...? )

Ayato-kunーー!?

*Flap*

Ayato: Chichinashiーー!!

*CAW*

Yui: Kyaah!!

( Ayato-kun...! He’s been caught by a giant eagle!! )

( W-What should I do...!? I have to save him...! )

Ayato-kun! I’ll be right thereーー!

Ayato: Forget that! Look! Inside its nest!

Yui: Eh?

Ayato: You can see it right!? There’s a silver light! Couldn’t that be the crystal!?

Yui: Ah...!

( He’s right...! There’s various silver crystals inside the eagle’s nest...! )

Ayato: Hurry up and take one! Make haste!!

Yui: ( B-But... )

*Chirp chirp chirp*

T-The chicks have got their wings wrapped around them...If I get close, I’m sure... 

( The Mother bird will get upset...! )

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Ayato: Like we have the time to worry ‘bout that! Hurry up while I keep the big one busy!

Yui: O-Okay...

ー Yui runs over to the nest

*Chirp chirp chirp*

Yui: I-I’m sorry...I only need one, okay...

*Rustle*

( Those crystals seem very dear to them...Right, I’m pretty sure birds are known to like sparkly things... )

...

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Yui: ...Kyaah!

Ayato: Fuck! Seems like she noticed you!

What are you takin’ your sweet time for!? Just snatch one already! ...Uwah!?

*THUD*

Ayato: ...Ow...

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Ayato: You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me! Look! The eagle returned to her nest. Now it won’t be easy to get close to it.

That was our chance! What are you doin’...!? 

Yui: B-But...!

( I just can’t...! Even if it’s from an eagle, it’d still make us thieves...! )

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Yui: ( ...She’s wary of us... )

Ayato-kun, let’s go outside for now...

Ayato: Haah? Are you givin’ up? But why...!?

ー Yui walks away

Ayato: Oi, wait! Chichinashi!

ー The scene shifts to the entrance of the mine

Ayato: ...God, what are you playin’ at!? We were so close!

Yui: I’m sorry...But listen...

Those chicks were holding the stones so very dearly...

I just couldn’t bring myself to take them away...

Ayato: Haah? They’re eagles, remember? The fuck you sayin’...!?

Yui: B-But you know...We’re going around trying to clear our name so...

So don’t you think that by stealing something valuable from those eagles, we’d just be committing another misduct? 

Ayato: ...

Yui: Besides, when dealing with a human, we can always apologize and explain the situation to them.

However, when it’s an eagle, we would never be able to get their forgiveness, right...?

Once I realized that, I just couldn’t bring myself to steal the crystal...

Ayato: ...Haah. You really love to overthink stuff, don’t you...?

But well, whatever. No point in crying over spilled milk.

Let’s look for a different way for now. We still have to get our hands on one of those crystals no matter what after all.

Yui: ( Ayato-kun...He understood... )

Want to move locations and try digging along the tunnel? I’ll help this time too...

Ayato: Mmh. Well...Guess we have no other choice...

Monologue

In what followed, the two of us went on our way,

digging around the entire mining site,

but we were unable,

to find the magic crystal.

With both of us completely exhausted,

we had no other choice but to return to the city empty-handed.

ー The scene shifts to café Tarte Tatin

*Cling*

Ayato: ...So what are we gonna do now...?

Yui: ...Yeah...

( For real, what should we do? )

( We have to get the key repaired by the end of today...Yet, we weren’t able to find the crystal in the end... )

Ayato: Say, I’ve been thinkin’. Don’t you think that Count might have one of those crystals in his possession?

He’s been goin’ ‘round stealing treasures from all ‘round the Demon World, so he’s bound to have one or two magical crystals amongst his collection...

Yui: ...I can definitely picture it...

( We had no other choice but to steal from the eagle to repair the key...I’m sure the Count watched all of that go down as well... )

( He might just be able to give us some advice at least... )

...Good point. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to ask

Ayato: We don’t exactly have much other choice. With that settled, let’s quickly finish our meal and get goin’.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Rubien Canal

Ayato: Oh, oi! Check that out!

Yui: Eh?

Waah...!

Ayato: It’s the Water Parade. Seems like we got here just on time.

Yui: Yeah, you’re right. It’s really pretty...

Ayato: ...

Say, listen...

Yui: Eh?

Ayato: ‘Bout the eagle’s nest from earlier...I’m sorry.

You actually weighed your options, didn’t you? Yet I kept on givin’ you crap for it...

Yui: ...

It’s fine. I should apologize as well. 

Even though...You tried so hard to get that crystal...

Ayato: ...Hey, Yui. Lift your face.

ー He steps closer

Yui: Eh? ...Nn...

Ayato: Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: ( ...What a gentle kiss... )

( It’s always as if his kindness is being conveyed to me... )

Ayato: ...Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: ( I can tell even if he doesn’t say it out loud. That deep down... )

( He’s really thinking of what’s best for me... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 2

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 4]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ SUBARU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ RUKI]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ KOU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #4 [W/ YUMA]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #5 [W/ SHIN]

[fantastic-bby]

Han Jisung's Crappy Guide: Surfing Into Hearts (Teaser)

Teaser details

Pairing: (F)Reader x Jisung

Word count: 1.7k

Genre: College AU | Surfer!Jisung

Summary: Jisung has a very questionable guide in trying to win hearts, one of the issues with it is that it only consists of really bad flirting and telling people he's a hot surfer. The other issue with it is that he's never actually put it into play because he's always waiting until he feels that special spark with someone...

Warnings: -

Publish date of full fic: 8th August

Overall word count: 22.4k

Full fic genre: Fluff | Romance | Slice of life | Strangers to Lovers | Surfer!Jisung | Surfer|Reader | College AU

Full fic warnings: Brief physical fighting | Mentions of getting high | Jisung has what I think is the equivalent of an obsessed fan

Masterlist | Full Fic | AO3 Link

…Han Jisung: sought out by the entire campus, has a very questionable guide in stealing and breaking hearts. It honestly consists of being really bad at flirting and telling people he's a hot surfer. With the entire campus essentially wrapped around his pinky, Jisung could have anyone he wanted. The only problem is that he also has the only person on campus he refuses to sleep with again coming after him.

“Uh oh, Hyemi incoming.” Hyunjin mimics the whistle of a bomb falling from the sky before making a ‘pwoosh’ sound with his mouth just as the dreaded person approaches their table. Jisung can feel his entire being wanting to shrivel up into a ball and disappear just as she opens her mouth.

“Hey Jisung,” Hyemi greets with her ever so sickeningly sweet voice. She pushes her long brown hair over her shoulder, the other resting on her hip as she completely ignores the other two that are at the same table as Jisung. “It’s already Autumn.”

“Is it?” Minho gasps, fauxing surprise, “and here I thought it was still Spring. Thank you so much for reminding me, Hyemi.” If sarcasm had a physical form, it would be pouring out of his mouth and pooling on the white wooden table, but Hyemi completely ignores him.

“It means that the Autumn Night Fair is back. How about you and I go and check it out? Have something to eat, play some games, ride the ferris wheel,” she hums.

“Not interested,” Jisung says simply. “I’m already going with my friends and we’ve already invited Yeji and her friends to come along, so… that’s already a whole group.”

“Oh come on, you can make room for one more,” Hyemi persists.

Jisung lets out a small sigh as he stands up, adjusting the strap of his bag onto his shoulder with one hand and picking up the food tray with the other. “I’m not interested,” he repeats. “I’ve already told you, it’s not going to work out. Stop trying.” Jisung walks past her, leaving Minho and Hyunjin to pick up their stuff as well.

“Sorry, Hyemi,” Minho chuckles as the two leave the table to follow Jisung. Hyunjin and Minho catch up to him only after he’s pushed through the glass door of the cafeteria and is already making his way to the entrance of the Student Union building.

“HanJi, wait up!” Hyunjin calls, making Jisung stop to turn around. His face is straight and honestly, he looks bored. Jisung’s had his fill of having students fawn over him to the point where he doesn’t even care anymore—Hyemi is no exception. She’s been trying for three years and Jisung’s gotten so tired of her that he’s blocked all of her contacts to stop her from trying to message him.

“Christ, she really won’t take no for an answer huh?” Minho chuckles as they start walking together.

“I thought that sleeping with her and ghosting her would work because there really wasn’t any other way, but I guess even that doesn’t work,” Jisung sighs. As shitty as it sounds, Jisung only sleeps and ghosts people as a last resort. He's actually only done it once… with Hyemi. “I don’t understand why she still tries. It’s like everywhere I go, she’s there and she’s trying to crawl through the damn zipper of my pants.”

Hyunjin and Minho exchange a sympathetic look. They know just how hard he’s tried to get her off of him and they also know that it’s gotten to the point where Jisung doesn’t even care anymore. Every time she approaches him, he either ignores her or just walks away.

“When was the last time you even dated someone?” Hyunjin asks, looking at Jisung curiously.

“High school,” Minho answers for him and Jisung nods as clarification. “Ji hasn’t had a proper relationship since high school.”

“I haven’t had a connection with anyone yet,” Jisung says while shrugging. The funny thing about Jisung is that he’s totally willing to sleep with anyone, but he hasn’t actually found someone he’s properly had ‘The Connection’ with yet, and Jisung sticks by only getting into a proper, committed, and serious relationship only if he feels ‘The Connection’ with.

“He basically has commitment issues and no one’s been able to push through them. He didn't even like his ex that much, he just dated her because he wanted the 'experience'.” Jisung smacks Minho on the arm and it makes the older man laugh.

“I do not have commitment issues,” Jisung argues.

“Sure, okay,” Minho rolls his eyes. “So, that time you freaked out because your ex confessed that she actually liked you isn’t enough to prove that you’re not ready for a committed relationship?”

“Doesn’t mean I have issues!”

“Mhm, whatever you say, Hannie,” Minho chuckles. They both turn to Hyunjin when he becomes strangely quiet only to see him on his phone.

"Uhm, turn back around,” Hyunjin blurts out right before he turns around and runs straight back into the cafeteria, leaving Minho and Jisung watching in confusion. They follow the designer and when they’re inside of the cafeteria, there’s a crowd gathered around Yeji and Hyemi.

“You’re fucking crazy!” Yeji hisses as she pulls her wet white shirt away from her torso to stop it from sticking. “I didn’t even do anything to you!”

“What the fuck?!” Hyunjin exclaims as he grabs onto Hyemi’s hand that still has the plastic cup grasped.

“Oh my god,” Minho groans.

“I’ll handle it,” Jisung mutters as he hands his backpack to Minho before taking his jacket off. He pushes through the crowd until he reaches Yeji and lays the jacket over her shoulders, “come on.” They’re both certain that if looks could kill, Yeji would have daggers sticking out of her torso from Hyemi’s glare. Jisung decides against saying anything to Hyemi and, instead, guides Yeji towards the cafeteria doors with Minho and Hyunjin following.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks once they’ve pushed past the doors.

“I’m fine,” she huffs. “Good thing Lia texted you. I’m pretty sure she would’ve hit me for just being friends with you.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Jisung sighs while taking his bag back from Minho.

“Nothing to apologise for,” Yeji shakes her head with a reassuring look on her face, “it’s not your fault. You’ve already turned her down about… I don’t know, a billion times? She’s the one who chooses her actions, not you.”

“I still feel kinda guilty since, you know…”

“Ji, it’s nothing to worry about—I promise,” Yeji flashes him a small smile. “If anything, have you seen Ryujin angry? She isn’t the MMA vice president for nothing, you know.”

The sound of the cafeteria doors being pushed open followed by Lia’s, “wait up!” Makes the four of them stop and turn around to see Lia and Chaeryeong chasing after them.

“Gosh, I can’t believe she did that just because you’re friends with Jisung,” Chaeryeong huffs when they start walking once again.

“I’m not even dating you—it’s getting tiring,” Yeji mutters, hands wrapping the front of Jisung’s jacket around herself tighter. “I shouldn’t have worn white today, huh?”

“It’s okay, we’ll accompany you to your dorm,” Lia reassures her while linking her arm around Yeji’s elbow. “It’s not like we have any classes after this.”

“Mhm!” Chaeryeong hums as she links onto Yeji’s other elbow.

“Where is Ryujin anyway?” Hyunjin asks when he notices the lack of the group’s most prominent presence. Shin Ryujin, vice president of the MMA club is also one of the better known students on campus. She’s more known for just being outright chaotic as well as her habit of standing up for her friends.

"Committee meeting with Felix," Lia answers.

“Thanks for the jacket,” Yeji turns around once they’re out of the Student Union building. “I’ll pass it to Hyunjin later.”

“It’s fine,” Jisung smiles. “Just take care. If anything happens, text Hyunjin and we’ll send Felix to beat her up or something.”

“We’ll be fine,” she shakes her head with laughter before bidding the guys goodbye and leaving in the direction of her dorm building. Jisung feels a bitter feeling in his chest as he watches Yeji walk.

As much as his friends tell him that he’s not responsible for anything that Hyemi does to them, he can’t help but always feel guilty whenever something happens. It’s been this constant cycle where he goes from thinking of dating her for the sake of protecting his friends or just ignoring her until he graduates.

There’s a few things that actually stops Jisung from dating her. 1. She’s crazy. 2. He’s been turning her down since their first year. 3. She splashed water on Yeji for being friends with him. Jisung has a feeling that if he ever did date her, then he wouldn’t have been able to actually hang out with his friends anymore.

“Are you surfing today?” Hyunjin turns to Minho.

“Most likely,” he nods. “Jisung?”

“Hmm?”

“Surfing today?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, but I’m stopping by Felix’s place later. He has one of my sunglasses,” Jisung says.

“I need to check on Kkami, so I’ll see you guys at the beach,” Hyunjin waves at them before heading in the same direction that Yeji, Lia and Chaeryeong went—making Minho and Jisung wonder why he didn’t just follow them before since he and Yeji live in the same building. Everyone wonders how Hyunjin manages to house a dog in his on-campus dorm, but he’s always just said not to worry and that Kkami isn’t that loud.

Minho and Jisung bid their goodbyes before Minho walks in the opposite direction of Hyunjin to head to his dorm and Jisung heads to the campus gates. His house is only a few minutes walk from campus which bodes well for him since he doesn’t need to move away from his family. He keeps himself preoccupied with trying to detangle his white earphones while he walks, hands pulling and tugging at the white wire until he accidentally bumps into someone.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” he apologises. Jisung’s slightly surprised when he’s faced with a student he’s never seen before.

“It’s fine, I think we were both a bit busy,” you chuckle as you lift your own tangled earphones.

“O-Oh yeah,” Jisung laughs awkwardly. Before he can even ask who you are, you’ve already started walking past him. He watches as you do. You’re definitely new.

The campus isn’t too big that you wouldn't know anyone outside of your circle, but it’s small enough that you can recognise all of the students at least by face or voice. However, Jisung’s never seen you before, nor has he ever heard your voice before; which leaves him wondering as he turns back around and continues his walk to the gates.

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine: Chapter Nine

Another cliffhanger? Me? Nah. 

All characters belong to @lumosinlove

@donttouchmycarrots is the best and I love her so much. She also inspired a lot of this chapter’s angst, so it’s not all my fault this time! <3

CW: violence, blood/injuries, guns/gun violence

Clandestine Masterlist

.

Sirius woke up alone. This in and of itself wasn’t unusual, until he remembered the events of the night before. Wandering hands, soft, needy sighs, and warm lips that kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. He rolled onto his stomach and smothered himself with his pillow to hide the smile that took over his entire face, heart beating giddily in his chest. That happened.

Holy shit.

But that begged the question: where was he?

Sirius stayed in bed for a few moments, thinking that maybe Remus was coming back, but then he got too impatient and crawled out of bed to go searching. If he was camped out in front of that laptop again this early… but no. He was standing in front of the stove, prodding at the contents of a frying pan. The smell of coffee reached Sirius and he smiled again as he entered the kitchen, making sure his footsteps were loud enough for Remus to hear - that way it wasn’t a surprise when he came to stand behind Remus and wrapped his arms around his waist, hooking his chin on his shoulder to watch what was happening on the stove. 

A general rule of dating a spy - don’t sneak up on them. It tends to end badly.

“Morning.” Sirius mumbled, turning his head to press a lingering kiss to a tendon in Remus’ neck and smiling against warm skin. Remus hummed, leaning back into Sirius’ chest and angling his neck to give him better access. That simple, innocuous motion stole Sirius’ breath. Remus didn’t trust easily - Sirius could understand why, given everything he’d been through. But there he was, relaxed against Sirius, eyes closed, completely trusting. Sirius wasn’t exactly sure what to do with something so precious, but damn he really didn’t want to screw this up. So he continued to place kiss after kiss to Remus’s skin, finding a ticklish spot right below his ear that made him laugh and squirm in Sirius’ arms before he shoved him away, a wide, happy smile on his face.

Had Sirius ever been this happy before? He doubted it.

“So what’s for breakfast, chef?” He asked, peering at the frying pan. Remus turned the stove off and grabbed plates from the cabinet by the fridge while Sirius grabbed silverware and napkins. It was incredibly domestic. Sirius couldn’t get enough of it.

“Scrambled eggs, toast, and coffee. Nothing gourmet, but it’s the best I can do.” He answered as he scooped eggs out of the frying pan and grabbed toast from the toaster, then handed the plate to Sirius. They took their plates to the tiny kitchen table, along with the coffee and creamer and jams before sitting down to eat.

It was… nice. Their relationship had changed a lot the night before, but it was easy - a seamless transition from friends to more. He’d always assumed there would be some awkwardness with a big change like that, but it felt normal. Remus still teased him for how he took his coffee, Sirius still kicked him for it. They went over their plans for the day and what they wanted to get done. The ease of it all made Sirius wonder just how long they’d been teetering over that precipice.

It also made him feel guilty, how happy he was when his brother was still trapped with the Snakes and Finn still missing. Remus seemed to recognize his shift in emotion and smiled sadly, reaching across the table to tangle their hands together.

“We’re going to figure something out.” He said quietly before taking a sip of coffee, not once letting go of Sirius’ hand but playing with his fingers absentmindedly. It made it a bit tricky to eat, but Sirius couldn’t say he minded one bit.

He hoped Remus was right.

***

“Update?” Talker asked as soon as Remus and Sirius entered the office, looking tired. He kept pace with them as they walked, eager for a response. He and Finn were pretty close, constantly cracking jokes and trading jabs and playing pranks. But then again, Finn was a very outgoing guy - he was pretty close with a lot of people.

Sure enough, as they rounded the corner they found a gathering of people outside Remus’ office, all friends. All worried.

And a stranger standing next to Kasey, watching them as they approached. Red hair, brown eyes, faint freckles.

Remus didn’t have to ask who he was.

He stuck his hand out for the agent to shake. “O’Hara.”

Alex shook his hand briefly, soulful eyes a myriad of warring emotions. “Please tell me what the hell is going on.”

Remus looked at him, then the rest of the people around his office. They all needed to know what was going on, but he felt like Alex deserved the chance to hear this on his own, without the prying eyes of a bunch of strangers.

Sirius seemed to know exactly what he needed. It was like a sixth sense. “Lions, to the conference room! I’ll tell you what we know.” He gave Remus a warm smile, one that he was helpless to return. Last night was… blinding, as strange as it sounded. Sirius was all he could see now - the bright, expressive eyes, full, addictive lips, and wow he needed to get off this train of thought quickly. He had important things to do today.

Sirius seemed to know exactly what was on his mind. His smile turned secretive and sly before he shot Remus a wink and led the way to the conference room, leaving only Alex. Remus looked at him, then jerked his head towards his office. Alex followed after him and instantly sat down in one of the extra chairs, eyes never leaving Remus. He looked tired, worried, desperate for answers.

Remus sighed, an ache in his chest. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like for him, dealing with his younger brother being kidnapped. If it was Jules, Remus would lose his mind. “Let’s just start at the beginning, ok?” And so he did. He went over the general premise of the mission, what they’d done so far, and what went wrong. Alex listened quietly, taking it in.

When they were finally caught up Alex leaned back in his chair, raking a hand through his hair - a motion that was so Finn that Remus had to hold his breath for a second before releasing it. “So do we have any leads? What’s the plan?”

“We’ve got three possible locations. We’re going to try to narrow it down and then send in the two operatives we’ve already got in Slytherin.”

“Finn’s partners.”

There was something about the way Alex said that. The wrinkle in his brow, eyes hard and unflinching. Unforgiving. Remus gave him a look, keeping his voice neutral. “It was a freak accident, O’Hara. Not their fault.”

He wasn’t brave enough to tell the agent how much of that fault rested on his own shoulders. He was basically in charge of this mission. He’d been the one in charge of planning, giving them the go-ahead, looking out for signs of danger. There were signs of the op going bad - he could see that now, in hindsight. But hindsight was always 20/20, wasn’t it?

And now he was sitting here, explaining to the brother of the agent he let get kidnapped that they didn’t really have a solid plan. They were still scattered and struggling to recollect themselves after that disaster of a mission. What exactly was he supposed to say?

Alex ignored his earlier attempt at placation. “You’re telling me that your plan is to send one agent and a rookie safe-cracker into Snakes headquarters and break my brother out? That’s all you’ve got?”

“The rest of us are already on their radar. If we sent in other agents-”

“Bullshit.” Alex growled, leaning forward dangerously. And really, Remus couldn’t fault him for any of this. Their bond ran deep, apparently. “You’re taking down the Snakes anyways, what’s wrong with pushing up the timeline a little? We don’t need to be covert anymore, we need to be dominant and aggressive.”

“That makes your brother collateral damage,” Remus reasoned. “We go in guns-blazing, the first thing they’ll do is make it a hostage situation.”

Alex sighed, his shoulders slumping and all the fight leaving him in a split-second, frustration rolling off him in waves. “Fuck.”

“We’ve got an ex-Snake on the team and a guy on the inside. Potentially,” he felt like he had to add, because he still wasn’t sure what to think of the younger Black brother. Sirius trusted him, sure, but was that enough?

One wrong move and they could lose three agents. This required precision and cunning, not hot-headed recklessness.

“We’re going to do our best to get him out of there.” Remus finally finished, trying to instill confidence with just the words. Alex just smiled sadly.

“Good media answer, right there.”

Remus’ phone buzzed twice in his pocket, signaling an incoming message. He fumbled with it for a second, then looked down at the screen. “Well, I might have a better answer in a few minutes. One of his partners says they’ve got news.”

Remus just hoped it was finally some good news.

***

Logan was still pacing - back and forth, back and forth. It wasn’t a stressed pace this time, exactly. His stride was longer, full of pent-up energy and restlessness. Leo was switching between watching him and reading the messages Regulus sent the night before to Loops and Sirius, who were both listening intently.

“So let me get this straight.” Remus said through the computer speakers. “Regulus said he’d turn off one of the cameras that overlooks a side door, sneak you two in, and then help you get both him and Finn out?” He and Sirius were sitting close together at the conference table, sneaking glances at each other when they thought no one was looking.

Leo smiled knowingly. Good for them.

“Yeah.” Logan said as he continued to pace. “Get in, get them, get out. Simple.”

“Well,” Leo said, stretching out the word and watching Logan’s eyes snap to him. Yeah, he wasn’t going to like this. “According to Reg, one of Riddle’s flash drives is there too - in a safe in his office. Logan can get Finn, and I can-”

“No.”

“Logan,” Leo sighed, giving him a look. “After we get Finn out, they’ll put that place on lockdown. We won’t get another shot at getting this drive and you know it. Plus Riddle’s not even there right now. It’s the perfect opportunity.”

“When did he even tell you that?” Logan asked, staring at him incredulously. “I don’t remember this at all.”

“That would be because I’ve been texting him this morning because I knew you’d react like this.” Leo rushed to finish his sentence and be heard over Logan’s loud dissent.

“React how? Logically?”

“Over-protectively.” Leo corrected, watching the aggravation return to his pacing again as he grumbled something under his breath. “If we get this drive, that only leaves the ones Lestrange and Riddle have on them. Reg said he could probably grab the one Bellatrix has - he can replace it with the fake I slipped into his pocket at the gala-”

“Nut, you can’t be serious.”

Leo glared at him. “It’s a perfectly solid plan.”

“And it’s dangerous!”

“Are you forgetting what our jobs are?” Leo asked with an incredulous laugh. “Everything we do is dangerous.”

“Leo.”

The blond looked to the laptop, where Sirius and Loops were looking back at him. “Back me up here.”

Remus glanced over at Sirius, then back to Leo. “It’s risky, but if you feel like you can do it-”

“I can.” Leo said, no room for argument. The kid who was nervously drumming his fingers against his thigh and staring off into space before his first mission was long gone, replaced by a calm, confident agent - who still drummed his fingers on a regular basis, but who was self-assured and comfortable with his role. Logan wasn’t exactly sure when that had happened, but he was proud nonetheless - even if he was still terrified.

“When’s Reg going for Lestrange’s drive?” Sirius asked, in a similar state as Logan. Worried, but knowing he was fighting a losing battle. This was happening whether they liked it or not.

“She puts it in the same spot every night before she goes to bed, so he’ll grab it right before we get there when she’s already asleep. If we go really early in the morning - like really early - everyone should be asleep, save for a few.”

“They’re cocky like that,” Sirius added, “No one’s ever been dumb enough to try to break in, so they won’t be as prepared for it.”

Leo frowned, not sure whether to take offense or not. “Thanks?”

“So how long do you think getting into the safe will take?” Remus asked, keeping all of them on track, as usual. The steadiness and predictability calmed Logan down, just a little.

Leo shrugged. “Don’t know, depends on what kind of safe it is. Reg doesn’t know.”

“So you’re going in blind.” Logan finished, anxiety churning in his gut. That calmness had lasted all of three seconds. He didn’t like this. There was so much that could go wrong; it was risky enough sneaking in to get Finn out of there, but adding this on top of it? What if one of them got caught? What if all of them got caught? What if Regulus wasn’t as trustworthy as Sirius claimed? What if they were just walking into another trap?

What if, what if, what if. There were too many variables to this, too much at risk.

He’d never really hated his job before. In the past he’d loved the suspense, the intrigue, the unpredictability. He’d grown up wanting a career that had action and adventure, just like the movies he and his sisters used to watch. Now all the things he used to love were the things that were stressing him out the most. But then, he’d never had partners before - definitely not partners he was halfway in love with.

He was starting to hate this job now.

Leo’s voice brought him back to the conversation. “Not really. It’s either going to be a digital safe or manual. I’d crack a digital safe the same way I cracked the ones at the banks, and manual safes are kind of like giant locks. I just feel for the sticking points and do the math.”

“There’s math?” Sirius asked, looking disgusted. Logan thought back to Finn saying the exact same words, all three of them squished together on the bed with a nature documentary playing in the background, warm and content and relaxed. No stress, no sense of impending disaster, no one missing.

He wanted that again, more than anything.

He felt like this wasn’t the way to do it, though. Which was ironic, seeing that he was the one who usually wanted to be reckless. That was his M.O. - the rough, hotheaded agent who wasn’t afraid to take some risks. He completely changed his tune when those risks endangered his partners.

He couldn’t lose them - either of them. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if...

But arguing against this rescue mission was like leading a horse to water - pointless. The only thing left to do was to prepare. So Logan tuned the conversation out and started planning for every possible outcome he could think of. He wasn’t going to be left just reacting, not this time. He was going into this with every last detail mapped out, every potential misstep accounted for, every contingency plan organized in his head.

He wasn’t going to let anything go wrong. He couldn’t.

***

The alarm Leo and Logan had set was essentially useless, seeing that it found the two of them already awake, going over the plan in their heads. Logan stretched his arm out to shut it off, then rolled over to look at Leo. Blue eyes were already staring back, alight with optimism- a stark contrast to how Logan was feeling. He just hoped tonight wasn’t the night he would be disappointed.

“We’re going to get him back.” The blond said, no sleepiness to his voice as he softly leaned in to kiss Logan sweetly, then more enthusiastically. Logan let himself get lost in it for a while, a heart-wrenching distraction, accepting kiss after excited kiss with a sigh against soft lips. He took the lead a second later, pushing Leo back into the mattress and pressing their chests together, getting as close as he could manage and relaxing into the warmth.

“And then we’ll all be together again.” He added after a while, trying to reassure both Leo and himself as he kissed a dimple and earned a smile, bright in the early-morning darkness. “And we can finally have that talk.”

Leo hummed happily and pulled him down for one last lingering kiss before shimmying his way out from under Logan and getting to his feet, hair an absolute mess from a night of tossing and turning and Logan’s hands. Logan felt strangely proud of himself for that.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.” Leo chanted, dashing to his suitcase to grab clothes. His enthusiasm visibly shown in every action - brushing his teeth, pulling on his shoes, grabbing his tools. Logan soon found himself dressed and ready to go, turning his earpiece on and testing his mic. His gun was loaded and ready, a comforting weight at his hip. Leo’s voice echoed in his ear as he tested his mic, loud and clear. His tools were all packed up and smuggled away in his pockets, determination written across his face.

They were going to get him back.

Logan pulled up the directions to the address Regulus had sent them and they hurried to their car, blasting the heat as high as it would go to try and defrost the windows. The clock read 4:13 am as they pulled out of the hotel parking lot and headed down the street.

The drive was tense with anticipation and nerves and adrenaline. Leo’s leg never stopped bouncing from the passenger’s seat as he stared out the window, clearly lost in thought because it was still pitch black outside - he definitely wasn’t looking at anything. Logan kept his eyes on the road ahead and his thoughts on their mission, going over the details one last time as the navigation app instructed him to turn right.

The building they were infiltrating was on the very outskirts of Slytherin, somewhat secluded and run-of-the-mill. If Logan wasn’t sure this was the right place, he would never have guessed this to be a Snakes’ building. Which was probably exactly what they were going for.

Logan drove straight past the building, continuing down the road for a while until he figured they wouldn’t raise suspicion. He put the car in park, switched the headlights off, then turned to face his partner.

“You ready?”

The resulting grin was luminous. “You know it.”

Logan nodded, nerves gnawing away at his stomach, and got out of the car. He and Leo snuck around to the southeast side of the building where they found a door, the light above it flickering occasionally. Leo sent Logan a look, then rapped on the door with his knuckles twice.

A few seconds passed by, then the door opened silently. Regulus Black stared back at them, face as impassive as always. The two agents stepped inside without another word, watching as Regulus closed the door behind them and locked it before turning to face them again.

“I’ve got Bellatrix’s drive,” he said, so quietly that Leo and Logan had to lean in a little to hear him. “Snagged it about twenty minutes ago and replaced it with the fake. She’ll never know the difference.”

“Perfect.” Leo grabbed Logan’s forearm, eyes bright and intense. “You go get Finn, I’ll grab the drive. Meet you back at the rendezvous.”

Logan still didn’t like the idea. He didn’t like the thought of being separated. “Leo-”

“No one’s out this early, it’ll be the easiest grab of my life. I’ll be careful - I’ll be so careful, Tremz. You gotta trust me.” He pressed their foreheads together briefly and Logan allowed himself that one moment to close his eyes and press back, inhaling deeply. He still smelled like the hotel’s shampoo, clean and citrusy. After all this, Logan didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget the smell - or the memories that came with it. He couldn’t quite figure out if that was a bad thing or not. Because on the one hand, there was stress and kidnappings and hurt. But on the other hand, there was exciting, brand new kisses and falling asleep in his arms and the comfort of just being with him.

“Make it quick, ok?” he said finally, reluctantly leaning away and meeting blue eyes. Leo nodded, giving his hand a squeeze, and turned to set off down the hallway. Logan only allowed himself half a second to look after him - if he watched any longer, he just knew he’d start chasing after him, blindly following an angel and not caring where he was going. He’d probably follow him anywhere, if he could. He faced Regulus again instead, who was looking decidedly awkward. Logan just raised an eyebrow at him and motioned for him to lead the way.

His heart hammered louder and louder the more they walked, excitement and worry and adrenaline snowballing together and making his head spin. He could hear Leo’s quiet breathing through the coms, measured and steady and constant like the tide pushing and pulling against the shore. That, more than anything he tried to tell himself, calmed him down.

They reached a nondescript door and stopped in front of it. Logan glanced at Regulus, then back at the door. This was it. Finn was on the other side of that door. He was a paradoxical combination of excited and terrified of what he’d find on the other side of that door.

“I’m just going to wait out here,” Regulus said, moving so that his back was against the wall. “I’ve already witnessed you all soft and mushy tonight - I don’t think I can handle seeing it again. I’ll keep an eye out from here.”

Logan sent him a grin, incredibly pleased with himself and completely unashamed.

He took one last, deep breath and opened the door.

The sound of the door must have woken Finn, because the first thing Logan saw was the shifting of shoulder and back muscles as the redhead sat up with an annoyed grumble. “What the fuck is so important that you feel the need to wake me up this early?” He demanded, reaching up to further tousle his hair as he swiveled around to face the door. Their eyes locked and Finn froze, staring at him with his mouth agape and wide, wide brown eyes, one of which was blackened and swollen. There was blood at the corner of his mouth, dark and distracting. Logan’s breath left him in a rush, like he’d been the one punched in the face.

“Lo,” Finn whispered, that one syllable barely loud enough to reach Logan’s ears. He sat up straighter in an instant and continued to stare, as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes. “Logan?”

That was all it took to spur Logan into action. He crossed the room in five quick paces and then he was on his knees in front of Finn, reaching for him hesitantly. Finn practically launched himself at him, arms around his neck and holding tight - almost bruisingly. Logan didn’t care. He’d gladly take the bruises if it meant having his partner in his arms again. It hadn’t even been that long since Logan had seen him, but it felt like an entire lifetime. He hugged Finn closer, probably holding him too tight, before leaning back and looking him over. Frantic hands passed over skin and clothing, feeling for injuries.

“You ok?” He asked, reaching up to tilt Finn’s face so that he could examine the black eye and split lip. Calloused fingers traced gingerly over constellations of freckles, marred by purples and greens and yellows. “God, Finn-”

Finn laughed a little, reaching up to still Logan’s hand and pressing it to his stubbled cheek instead. Logan could feel his smile against his palm and melted. “I’m ok. It looks worse than it actually is, I’m sure.”

You’re still gorgeous, Logan thought as he swiped a thumb across his cheek. He wanted to drown in the sight in front of him. Finn wasn’t great but he was ok and considering the circumstances, that was all Logan could really ask for. He was still livid, of course. And the ones who’d hurt Finn would get what was coming for them. That much he could guarantee.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Finn murmured, still leaning into Logan’s touch. Logan just shook his head firmly, eyes serious. How did Finn expect him to leave him behind? He clearly had no idea just how little they could function without him, the gaping hole he’d left in his absence.

Finn looked over Logan’s shoulder, then back to Logan with worried eyes. “Leo?” He asked and let Logan help him to his feet, favoring his left leg. Logan tightened his grip on his biceps and steadied him before answering.

“Currently? In Riddle’s office cracking a safe.”

Leo’s voice, calm and even, came through the coms. “Tell Finn I said hey.” Logan grinned.

“He says hey.”

Finn looked offended. He leaned closer to the mic Logan was wearing at the collar of his shirt, making the brunet still. The expression on his face - a comical combination of panic and turned-on - made Finn smile as he spoke. “You’re breaking me out of here after I was kidnapped and the only thing you can think of to say is hey?”

“Well, I was planning on saving the sentimental shit for when I actually see you.” Leo said distractedly from his spot on the floor in front of a truly ancient safe, rotating the dial slowly and feeling for the last remaining sticking point. “It’s good to hear your voice, though.”

He heard Logan relay the message to Finn, and then Finn’s resulting coo. Leo laughed under his breath at the sound right as the safe opened with a loud click, opening to reveal nothing inside but a blue and gray flash drive.

“I can’t believe this is the only thing he keeps in a safe like this.” Leo grumbled, reaching forward to make the switch-

Right as the office door opened.

Leo whirled around, slipping the real flash drive into his pocket as he faced whoever had walked in on him.

Unnatural yellow eyes stared back.

And a gun was pointed at his chest.

He could tell Riddle recognized him from the party by the curl of his lips that formed the beginnings of a smile. Cold dread washed over Leo at the bizarre sight. He wasn’t sure anyone had seen the leader of the Snakes smile before. If they did, they hadn’t lived to tell the tale. Leo’s heart raced as all he could do was stand there and stare. His gun sat heavily at his hip, but he knew reaching for it would only speed up the inevitable. He stayed still.

Leo’s partners were still talking over the coms, happy and ignorant of the situation going on right down the hall from them. As Leo stared down the barrel of a gun, he thought maybe it was for the best. Riddle wouldn’t react well to breaking Finn out of here, he knew that much. At least this would be a good distraction - if Riddle was focused on him, he wouldn’t be focused on his partners. Maybe they’d be able to get out of here before Riddle even realized the real reason Leo was in the building.

He’d rather die than give either of them up. He was a little scared at the honesty behind that statement… and the likelihood of it happening much sooner than he’d hoped.

Riddle adjusted his sights without saying a single word, finger against the trigger. Leo sucked in a harsh breath and braced himself.

Bang.

[weebswrites]

Matsukawa Issei x She/Her Reader

Smut (cockwarming, (light) degrading, rough sex, daddy kink, also iwaoi hehe)

Summary: You’re at a party with Seijoh. Technically it’s a ‘getting to know the manager’ party, but there may or may not be intentions to get you and Matsukawa less than sober and expose the sexual tension that had been getting a bit too obvious between you two (Oikawa’s idea, of course)

Word Count: 2638

“Just one more! Come on, we’re all doing it” Oikawa teased, handing you a shot glass of vodka. You both knew he wasn’t *really* pressuring you into drinking, he would never, but he wanted everyone to have fun.

“Fine, but just because everyone else is” you respond, thankful that you’ve always been able to hold your alcohol well. “Three, two, one, shot!” you yell, tossing your head back and putting the lukewarm shot glass to your lips, letting the liquid inside slide down your throat. You winced a bit and shook your head at the sting, moving your head back to look at Oikawa and Iwaizumi, who had basically been inseparable the whole time

Iwaizumi reached over and ruffled your hair, “Good job, manager” he said, voice rough from the hard alcohol he wasn’t used to drinking

“Thanks” you joke, rolling your eyes a bit

“Anyways, it’s time for the next round of truth or dare. Matsu! You’re up. Truth or dare” Oikawa asked, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand and dragging him back to the couches where everyone was sitting, you following close behind them.

“Fuck it, dare” he said, straying from his more common answer of truth, since no one was safe from Oikawa’s well known insane dares.

“Cockwarm with [y/n]” he stated confidently, like he’d been saving that one all night (he had).

Your face and his blushed deep red at the same time, and after a moment he spoke up

“Oikawa what the fuck, come up with something less pervy” he said, glancing at you for a moment, his eyes reading your face for your true reaction

“No, do it or you both lose your chicken” he said, not showing any signs of changing his request

You sighed a bit, half from nervousness, half from sexual frustration, and you felt a fire light in your heat. You looked over at Matsukawa, taking him in before opening your mouth to address the situation.

“I mean...I’m fine with it” you admitted, trying to calm your blush down as to not seem unable to casually talk about sex

He held your gaze for a few moments, seeming to weigh the pros and cons accepting Oikawa’s dare. You watched as his eyes went from yours to your lips, down to your breasts and the rest of your body before trailing back up to your eyes. It was the most obviously he’d ever checked you out, and your heart started to race (not to mention the other feeling that wasn’t going away any time soon).

“Fine. But you guys can’t look when I take it out, I don’t want you seeing my dick” he said, standing up from his spot on the floor and taking a spot on the couch. He sat next to Hanamaki, who immediately moved to the spot Matsukawa was previously in

“Thanks...” Matsu said, thankful for the bit of isolation the two of you would be in, “Now look away for a minute...all of you” he demanded, feeling the butterflies in his chest begin to flutter faster. “Especially you, Oikawa”

“I am, I am! I’ll make out with Iwa-chan, that way you know my eyes will be closed” he said, smiling like an idiot before positioning himself on Iwa’s lap, connecting their lips in a kiss.

Matsukawa turned to look at you, and you began to walk through the room to stand in front of him. You didn’t know if he was ready to go inside you or not, so you mounted his lap and pressed your torso against his. You lightly ground your hips against his, and moved your gaze to his lips for a second before you felt his strong hand on the back of your head, pulling you into him and connecting your lips in a fiery kiss that had been building for weeks

You moved your hips harder against his, and before you knew it you could feel his length completely hard against yourself. You pulled away from his dangerously addictive kisses and looked at him, eyes saying ‘please...i’m ready’

He nodded, and you turned around to face the room, pulling your lace panties out from under your skirt as you felt his hand go in his pants and grab his length. You folded your panties, and were going to put them in your bag when you felt a large hand over yours, gently taking them from you as you turned your head and watched Matsu sniff them, smirking at the obvious smell of precum that you had desperately dripped from grinding on him. He winked and put them in his pocket, “You can get them later” he whispered, giving you a wink that sent chills down your spine

All you could do was nod, and before you knew it he was using one hand to guide your hips down onto his cock. It was bigger than you imagined, much bigger, and you gasped as his tip stretched you out. You heard Oikawa laugh against Iwaizumi’s lips, and clasped a hand over your mouth to silence any other moans that you were sure would try to escape

He slowly lowered you down, and after what felt like an hour you felt him bottom out. He was already pulsing inside you, the feeling of every vein in him throbbing for you was enough to put you on the edge of exploding, but you stayed completely still and tried to get used to the feeling.

He put both hands on your hips, holding you still for a moment before wrapping his perfectly toned arms around your waist. His forearm brushed your stomach and you felt it deep in your core, causing a small moan to escape

He moved his arm away and rested them in your lap more, helping keep your skirt down so no one could see up it

“Is this okay?” he asked, voice a mix of ridiculously turned on and genuinely concerned for you

“Yeah...I’m okay” you said, voice weak, your brain only capable of thinking lewd thoughts about him. “Definitely okay~” you teased, suddenly getting used to the feeling of him being inside you (or at least, you thought you were).

“Oikawa! We’re done, you can peel yourself off Iwaizumi now” you called, smiling mockingly at him as you balled your fists, sweat coating your palms as you fought the urge to move against his hips and give each of you the pleasure you craved

He looked at the two of you, eyes trailing your bodies as he tried to make sure you were actually completing the dare and not faking it

“We’re doing it, trust me” Matsu spoke up, voice deeper than it had been before

“Shit...you really are! That’s your sex voice~” Oikawa teased, getting off Iwaizumi’s lap and rejoining the circle as the rest of the team got off their phones / opened their eyes

“Do I want to know how you know his sex voice?” Iwaizumi inquired, knowing very well he did not

“It’s not like that!! I only have eyes for you Iwa-chan~” he reassured him, “I’ve heard Matsu talk about girls he’s interested in before, and his voice always gets deep like that when he’s super into them”, he explained, noticing Matsukawa’s face go dark red. “Not to expose you or anything, but I mean we’ve all noticed it with [y/n] anyways” he added, hoping Matsu wasn’t going to be angry at him

Matsukawa just shrugged, “Plus we are cockwarming right now, so at this point she knows exactly how I feel” he said, moving his hips a bit as he said ‘exactly’, a strategic move.

You clenched your fist a bit, nodding at Oikawa. The look on your face was more than enough to prove to him that his dare was completed, and he smiled contently. “Well boys, we’ve done what we came here to do. How about we play a few more rounds to keep our favorite couple in a bind and then head out for the night?” he proposed, smirking at the two of you

“Don’t be so hard on them” Iwaizumi said, elbowing Oikawa in the side but chuckling at his childish joke. “One more turn for everyone and then we’ll head out” he said. The event was taking place at Matsu’s, since they could all leave the two of you there alone to ~work out the situation~, which was also Oikawa’s idea.

You nodded, not knowing how long you could last with Matsukawa inside you without moving against him. The next few turns were all dares, but wimpy ones compared to what you and Matsu were put through. Kindaichi had to take his shirt off and Watari had to send a risqué message to someone he’d hooked up with in the past. Then, it was his turn to ask, and he turned directly towards you.

“[Y/N], truth or dare” he asked, an evil grin crossing his face

“Truth” you sighed, figuring there was nothing else you had to lose at this point

“What do you want to do with Matsukawa when the rest of us leave. In detail” he answered too fast, and you realized this was all part of Oikawa’s scheme. 

“Really?” you asked, a bit exasperated that the cockwarming wasn’t enough for them

“Yes princess, and remember, there are no chickens during the last round” he teased, winking at you and sticking his tongue out

“Fine. But once I answer the level of detail you’re getting is what you’re getting. No making me resay it” you said directly at Oikawa, knowing this was really his truth coming through Watari.

“Okay, okay! Now answer”

“Ummm...” you started, trying to buy yourself a bit of time to decide exactly how much detail to go into. “Well, I want to leave something to his imagination, but I don’t plan on getting any sleep tonight, nor on being able to use my legs for the next day” you said, deciding that was vague yet descriptive enough to please all parties

You felt him harden inside you, and acted like he was sitting up a bit, but really he just moved his hips deeper into you, causing you to bite your lip as to not moan in front of the entire volleyball team. You heard him exhale through his nose in a laugh, knowing he knew what he just did

“Damn, we’d better get out of here guys, I don’t think either of them can last much longer” he joked, but stood up nonetheless and took Iwaizumi’s hand. “Iwa-chan is spending the night at my place tonight” he said, not giving the rest of the team a chance to verbally tease your answer.

Matsukawa rolled his eyes, “So you two won’t be getting any sleep either then, is what I’m hearing” he mocked, watching the rest of the team stand up. He almost started to stand up himself before he remembered that you wouldn’t just stand up as well

Iwaizumi chuckled, “You got that right”

The team said their goodbyes and headed out. Within five minutes it was just you and Matsukawa, the sexual tension between you exploding. You began to roll your hips against him, spinning around on his lap to face him as you instantly connected your lips. You let out a deep moan, so loud it was like all the moans you’d held in during the past half hour had combined in one

That started a fire inside Matsu, and before you knew it he was holding you tightly against him and laying you down on the couch, taking care that none of him left your dripping hole. He moved his lips to your neck, fighting the urge to start fucking you as he sucked a dark mark onto your neck

“Fuck me...please Matsu...I need you” you moaned, and not a second later he was ravaging you, thrusting himself fully in and out of you, bottoming out with each thrust. He groaned a bit in your ear before moving his lips back to your neck, kissing the top of your shoulder before placing a mark, one of many you were sure would be covering your chest by the time you were done

You felt him hit the spot deep inside you, and you cried out his name, voice high pitched and shaky

“Yeah baby? Fucking scream for me, little slut” he groaned in your ear, and you obeyed each word

“Matsu! Fuck! Harder, please!” you yelled, hands clinging to the back of his shoulders, scratching them up, not caring the team would absolutely notice when he had to change in front of them. You tried to lift your legs around his waist to give him more room, but you couldn’t move them. He chuckled a bit at this, and moved one of his hands from exploring your body to your legs, moving them one at a time around his waist

You groaned, the burning of your muscles being overexerted filling your body with a deeper desire for him to touch you, and you gasped as you felt his hand travel to your clit and begin rubbing it. You didn’t know how he could thrust into you so hard while stimulating your clit so well at the same time, but he was doing it, and you felt seconds away from spilling out all over him

“M-Matsu...I’m...” you tried to warn him, but your voice was practically useless due to having been screaming for Matsukawa while he destroyed you

“Not yet baby...” he commanded, wrapping his arms around your waist and picking you up, continuing to thrust his hips against yours (though much slower) as he walked the two of you to his bedroom

Iwaizumi had casually dropped that Matsukawa had a daddy kink around you a few days ago, but you didn’t put together why the typically serious Iwaizumi would say something like that until that moment.

“You whined into his ear, “Please daddy...let me cum for you”

You heard a growl escape him, and he placed the two of you on his bed as he picked back up his previous speed, this time putting one of your legs up over his shoulder. You were sure you wouldn’t be able to use either of your legs fully for at least a day, the muscle strain was stinging but it was the best kind of sting. You moaned as he moved your leg, and he only thrust into you harder

You fisted the sheets before moving your hands to his hair, running your fingers through his short black hair, pulling on it a bit how you learned he liked.

“F-fuck...please!” you moaned, desperate to release around him

“Go ahead baby, cum for daddy like a good little girl” he growled, continuing to thrust deep into you as you exploded around him, feeling your hot cum cover his cock. He let out a deep moan, different than any one you’d heard yet, desperate and raw and for you, and you grabbed his face and kissed him deeply.

His lips were hot and messy, your tongues immediately swirling together as you felt him suddenly release inside you, the feeling of his semen filling every space inside you and spilling out onto the bed causing you to moan into the kisses, tightening your fingers around his surprisingly soft hair

After a few moments he pulled away and removed himself from your entrance, breathing heavily but not moving from on top of you. He removed your leg from his shoulder and wrapped it back around his waist, smirking at you a little as he did so

He appeared a bit tired, but the words that came out of his mouth woke you both back up immediately.

“Ready for round two?”

--------------------

A/N: I’ll write round two if it gets enough requests! Comment or message me to be added to the taglist for it. Anyways I hope you guys like this, I feel really good about it, especially considering I haven’t written here in a minute. Requests are always open! (I need the inspiration lol)

[burgundyhaven]

Send Her to Me: Teen! Kit Walker x Reader

Description: basically high school kit walker is trying to ask y/n out to the dance but everytime he tries to ask her out he keeps on missing her so he asks for his friends to send her to him

Word count: 1,702

Warnings: cursing, fluff? Nothing else that I can think of :)

A/n: I had a lot of fun making this, I’ve been in my 60s/70s phase as of recent so I’ve been listening to a lot of 60s garage rock and this is inspired by “send her to me” by the dark knights which is amazing you should go check the song out expeditiously. This is taking place in November of 1957 btw :)))) enjoy!!! Sorry if this is messy I finished writing this at 3:48 am  which explains lots of the spelling and punctuation errors it’s whatever 

Link to send her to me by the dark knights-https://youtu.be/BJKQks4neiI

It was November of 1957 and it was Kit Walkers final year of high school

He just wanted the stress of all of the work and uncertain future to be over

But there was one thing he would miss, you

He’s had a huge crush on you ever since you were in 9th grade, but only now worked up the courage to ask you out

You were putting your things away in your locker when you saw kit coming towards you

“Hey y/n”

“Oh- hi kit! what class you got next?”

“History. you?”

“English”

“Oh- uh… cool”

“Yeah.cool?” you chuckled

“Um-“

“Yeah?”

“Would you want to-“ he stops for a while

“Would I want to what?”

“Would you want to-“

he gets cut off by a loud bell

“Sorry! I gotta go i can’t be late again that’ll be three days in a row, catch you after this class though?”

“Oh. yeah sure” Kit says almost whispering and looking down at his shoes after waving at you

He went to history, though his attention was on the clock waiting for the next chance to see you

Finally, the bell rang and he went right to your locker, but…you weren’t there

He didn’t know, but you just didn’t need to go to your locker that class, but he knew he’d be able to talk to you in lunch

He went to his friends and asked them if they would send a message for him. He knew at least two of them had that class with you

“Hey- hold on wait, Jimmy tell y/n to meet me at the 6th lunch table, I keep on missing her at hall time”

“What for?”

“Nothing I just wanted to talk to her, if you don’t have her class next ask Henry I know he has the same class as her right now”

“Alright good luck… on whatever crazy shit your doing”

“Yeah thanks” he chuckled and looked down at his shoes

You were in your class when you saw one of Kits friends walking into your class, which was normal. But, he never talked to you in particular

He approached you and spoke quickly and quietly

“Kit wants you to meet him at the sixth table in the cafeteria in lunchtime”

“Why”

“I don’t know? He didn’t give a reason”

“Alright… thanks”

*45 minutes later*

Finally, it was lunchtime and he spotted you sitting alone in the corner of the cafeteria,where he told you to meet him

He walked over to the table and sat right in front of you

“Hey what’re you doing here all alone again”

you smiled and put a strand of hair behind your ear

“Sorry about forgetting to tell you i wouldn’t be at my locker, i forgot i didn’t need any books for my class after english”

“no don’t worry about it it’s fine”

“So what did you wanna tell me kit?”

“Oh,uh i wanted to actually show you something”

He walked over and dragged his lunch to your side and sat down

He pulled out a photo from his bag

“Here it is”

He slid the photo to your side

“Oh my god Kit! That’s us! God we were so little” you laughed

“But- how’d you find these i thought you lost all your pictures in the move”

“Yeah, but we found a tin inside of the box with my moms clothes and it had all my baby photos and stuff like that”

“You got any more?”

“Yeah, If you wanna come over afterschool and I could look through them with you. I haven’t gotten a chance to see them all yet?”

“Yeah, of course! we’d have to walk though, i can’t go alone”

“yeah that’s no problem,meet me by the front of the school at around 2:00?”

“K, see you then”

He knew this was going to work perfectly, you would be thinking about the past you guys had and then he’d ask you out and you would just have to say yes

2:00 came and you were out in front waiting for about 8 minutes, he was a little late but he came out eventually

“Sorry i kept you waiting so long. That son of a bitch Mr. Wells made me stay after class for not finishing the test in time”

“No don’t worry it’s okay,it’s only 2:08 you didn’t keep me waiting for that long” you said while smiling at him

“Alright,let’s go- wait did you call

your house and tell them you were coming over?”

“ Uh-yeah I told my mom i’d be home a little late and i’d be at your place for school”

“For school?”

“She wouldn’t let me at any guys house if it wasn’t school related,even though she’s known you since you were born”

“Makes sense” he laughs and looks at you

The cold november breeze made you start to shiver and you put your books close to your chest but it was no use

Kit noticed you were getting cold and gave you his jacket, and even though you told him you weren’t cold, he knew you just didn’t want to seem like you needed anything, so he put it on you anyways

you made it to his house and he got his key out

you went in and his parents weren’t home

His dad was at work, and his mom left a note saying she wouldn’t be home until around 8 as she was out running errands

“Well i guess this is my house for the after noon” he said smiling

You laughed and smiled back

You asked if he wanted his jacket back, but he said you could keep it, so you put it on completely

“So,you wanna eat anything?”

“No, thanks though”

“I’ll go get the box then wait here”

You sat on the couch and heard him coming down shortly after you touched down on the seat cushion

“got it!”

you sat on the floor and the both of you looked through the box and uncovered dozens of forgotten memories

“Oh my god that was your 12th birthday”Kit said pointing to a photo from 1952

“Look at this one we were babies here!” you pulled out the photo form the small stack

“Kit is that you?” you pointed to a picture of him in a bathtub as a baby

He grabbed it and slid the photo under the couch

“No uh- thats my cousin. You won’t see him much because he’s- twice removed? Yeah”

“Yeah sure. don’t be embarrassed you were cute”

“Yeah whatever” he rolled his eyes

“It’s so crazy that we’ve known each other literally since we were born” you say still looking at the pictures

“Well technically…i’m older by a month so since you were born” Kit whispers

“You’re only older because you were born premature” you patted him on the back while getting up to go to the couch

He got up to sit next to you and turned on the tv for background noise

He scooted in closer to you and eventually you found that he had his arm wrapped around you and you were falling asleep

“hey it’s only 4:15, wake up” he tapped your shoulder

“Yeah i know- i just went to bed super late last night and i-“

“No it’s fine- do you want me to drive you home i could use the extra one we have”

“no i uh- i like it here it’s quiet, plus i can’t sleep now. I won’t be able to make it to school tomorrow”

“y/n. Its Friday ?”

“Oh.yeah well still”

“Okay nevermind” kit faintly laughed

You got up to get a snack as you hadn’t eaten for quite some time,then went right back to the couch

You sat crossed on the floor, looking right at the pictures on the wall

You observed all of them, specifically just seeing how much he’s changed over the years

He suddenly spoke out of nowhere

“Hey, so you heard about that senior ball the schools havin in a couple weeks”

“Yeah what about It?”

“You uh- planning on going”

“Probably, I just don’t really have anyone to go with”

“If you want, I could take you. I- I mean it doesn’t have to be like as a date or anything we could’ve go as friends if you wa-“

You hugged him and stopped him from saying anything else

“Thank you so much kit,I didn’t wanna have to go alone.And… yes we could go as a date ”

“Really?” He scratched his neck

You nodded and looked at him for a while, contemplating what you were going to do

You kissed him, out of nowhere

Now, you had just had your first kiss, and he had just had his

It was extremely awkward afterwards, you both just stared at each other and didn’t know what to say

“So uh- what’re we gonna wear” you said, still being in front of him as you were after you kissed him

“ Uhhh- i”

“we could match?” You started to get up to leave

“Yeah, we could match “ he spoke breathily

“I- uh, I gotta go my moms probably worried sick about me it’s” 

you look down to check your watch 

“7:15!”

“I could drive you and take the spare car? It’s kinda cold out”

“Oh yeah thanks sure “

The short 7 minute drive was quiet but lovely and you couldn’t help but stare at him for the whole car ride

You arrived home and quickly  walked to the door

You rang the doorbell and your mom opened the door, she looked pretty pissed but nothing over the top

You turned around and Kit was still there in the car, and your mom moved away from the door

You walked back a little closer to the where his car was  and he said “ come by my place tommorow … for school”

You laughed quietly and whispered “yeah for school… goodnight kit”

“Goodnight”

And he drove away into the distance, back to his house

You went to your room, and got ready for bed, and all you could think about was Kit and the wonderful day you had with him. And about the wonderful day you would have with him tomorrow

[honeypirate]

Why You Should Never Eavesdrop

AHHH it’s my first ever Naruto fic!! Don’t hate me if it sucks

Kakashi x female reader.

I will soon branch out to write for like Genma and Izumo but I had to make my first fic for Kakashi since he was my first ever crush ever XD. I’m going to write a part two because this is a terrible place to end it. I just got excited and wanted to post this now lol

Naruto Masterlist

Of course you went after him. You wanted to see if everything was okay, he was your friend after all and you cared about him. But when you got lost in the trees looking for him, this was the last thing you expected.

You were a Jonin, masking your chakra was second nature and something you always did, which is why you were able to quietly and accidentally sneak up underneath them. Kakashi with his student, Sauske, in the tree, “you’re a little late to the game” you froze, should you run? Should you speak up? You held your breath so they wouldn’t hear you as you debated what you should do. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop but part of you was glad you were when you heard the words that came out his mouth next “everyone I care about is already dead”

You disappear quick after that, realizing it wasn’t a conversation you should be listening to. Also realizing that he didn’t think you were as close of friends as you did. You know about his past, his history, you know about it all, but you thought, stupidly, as you now realize, that you could be someone to him. “Ridiculous” you nutter to yourself as you take to the trees, running through them as far as you could go, far away from Kakashi.

Far as possible without leaving this village, was to the trees by the gate, it was always nice here, the clouds easier to see because it’s where there was the tallest tree and you loved to sit at the very top. You were disappointed in yourself, you were a shinobi for crying out loud! you never got so invested in your feelings before. You will not let your feelings interfere with your life. You needed to think and this was where you came when you needed space.

Kakashi didn’t even come in to your life until recently, you got back from a mission that lasted a few years, protection of a political family, now you were home after so long and just when you thought you’d be given a little time off, the Hokage told you he wanted you to be a sensei to some new young Genin. That’s what brought Kakashi into your life.

You knew him growing up, had mutual friends in the academy, but you’ve never talked to him directly. Until after one especially long day with your rowdy eleven year olds you decided to go get some ramen and de-stress. The only chair open was next to Kakashi at the bar, who wasn’t even eating anymore, he was reading his icha icha book while Naruto rambled on next to him about Sakura.

He knows when you arrived, felt you sit next to him, but he didn’t show any signs. He had a crush on you in school and when you were in ANBU at the same time, you never looked his way so he didn’t think you even knew about him. That was, until tonight.

You’re so fried right now, bags under your eyes from the missions you’ve been sent on and from teaching, plus, you don’t remember the last time you slept more than three hours a night. Given that, your filter when speaking to people is basically nonexistent.

You wait for your ramen to cool a little before eating it and your eyes wander over to the words on the page you can read over his shoulder. “This part was my favorite” you say “then the part at the end as well. Have you seen the poster for the new movie?” You ask and then turn your tired attention to your ramen, taking slow bites so you could enjoy it.

He’s glad his blush is hidden by his mask, “I’ve seen it” he says and you nod “I thought you would have. You’ve always loved those books” you say and then smile content with your ramen. “It looks like it’s going to be good” you say and he nods.

When you finish your meal you turn in your stool towards him, Naruto has been distracted by someone else he knows and so you’re not interrupting anything, “i liked that book the best” you say and push your empty bowl forward, leaning your elbow on the table and leaning your head on your hand to smile at him. You talked together about icha icha books and the movies, sharing your favorite parts and ways you thought it could be better. You talk so long that by the time you leave Naruto had already left.

He wouldn’t lie about the fact that your smile always made his heart race, no, he wouldn’t lie, but he wouldn’t tell the truth, either, if he was ever asked about it. “Goodnight y/n” he says and does his cute closed eye thing where you can tell he’s smiling. You feel your cheeks warm up in a blush but you don’t look away you place your money on the counter before hopping off from your stool “I’ll see you around Kakashi” you say and shove your hands in the pockets of your pants and walk out of the shop.

He watched you leave, a curious smile on his lips under his mask, you surprised him today and now he’s curious to know more about you. After that you somehow ran in to him every time you had ramen, and you talked every time for sometimes hours, before you knew it you grew close with him. You trusted him and believed he felt similarly to you.

It’s been a year since then, you felt like he was a good friend now and didn’t even consider it wouldn’t be the same for him. You were both called into the Hokage’s office for a mission together, you were hyped, it was going to be easy peasy, you’ll be back in three months and you’ll have more time with Kakashi. You were walking back home when you saw the fight on the roof of the hospital which led you to wanting to find Kakashi since you knew how he felt about his students, which led to you here, now in the tree tops, trying to get over your feelings and hide them like a true shinobi.

“There you are” a voice said behind you, a voice you knew well, “here I am” you said and made your face neutral before you turned around to look at him. “What’s going on?” You ask and meet his eye, tilting your head a little. You wanted to pretend nothing was wrong and act normal but you felt cold. Inside and out.

“We’re supposed to be leaving tonight?” He says and furrows his eyebrows. “Shit. I’m sorry Kakashi I lost track of time. Give me five minutes I just need to grab my pack” you say before disappearing, running back to your house to grab your bag that’s already been prepared, cursing under your breath for being so stupid for a second time today.

You’re glad that he’s never made you feel like you have to talk, you can run though the trees with him in silence and not be awkward. “Did you hear me? Y/n?” You finally realized he was talking to you and you looked over at him “what was that?” You said and he came to a stop, you following suit and stopping next to him. “I said we should stop for the night. We’ve been going for hours now. it’s probably after two am” he says and you nod “sounds good” he knows something is off but doesn’t press it “there should be a cave up ahead we can stay in” he says and takes off, you right behind him.

“I’ll take the first guard shift. Get some rest” you say as you finish setting up your bed, standing up and walking over to the entrance of the cave, the whole time not really even paying attention to Kakashi or anything he’s saying, if he’s even said anything you don’t really know. You sit at the entrance, your back to him as you keep your mind aware of everything out in the woods and unaware of the man behind you who’s staring at your back, the book in his hand forgotten about, as he keeps wondering why you’re acting weird.

After your guard shift is over you quietly make your way over next to where he’s sleeping, you place your hand on his shoulder and he wakes up instantly, his eye looking into yours. His hand reaches up to grab yours that’s still on his shoulder “oh sorry” you say and try to take it away but he doesn’t move his hand. You look back into his eye and raise your eyebrows, wondering what he was thinking, wondering if he’ll ask the question you can see in his eye. He seems to make up his mind when he releases your hand and looks away, he goes to sit up and you clear your throat “like fifteen minutes ago I felt something off over to the east, but I couldn’t see anything with my Kekkei Genkai. It could be nothing but just in case” you say as you lay down on your back in your bed, using your arm to cover your eyes.

You’ve been on the road traveling for about a month now, you almost made it to your destination and once you were there you would deliver your message and then take a package back to the Hokage. You successfully shoved every feeling back into a tiny jar in your heart, now easier to pretend you never had them to begin with, although you acted a lot like you did when you were an ANBU. He’s noticed, of course he’s noticed, he notices everything about you, he has since you punched him once in the Chunin exams when you stole his scroll. He watched you now out of the corner of his eye as you run through the treetops, he missed how you used to laugh so easily with him.

You’re walking now, him a bit ahead of you, the sun has been down for a while “We can rest here since it’s a bit late or keep pushing until we get there, we could stay at an inn and have our meeting in the morning.” He matches your pace before he responds “second one is my choice” he says and you nod “we’re only about an hour out I’d guess” you say “yeah I’d bet you’re right” that was the last thing said for the rest of the walk. The lights of the city coming into view, your stomach growls for the first time in all these weeks when you pass by a ramen shop “come on” Kakashi says and walks through the door, you thanked every deity you could think of in that moment and then followed him in.

“Yummmm” You hummed over your steaming bowl, you felt like this was exactly what you needed. To warm your soul and let the unknown go. So what he doesn’t care about you. He’s just being a good Jonin and shinobi. It was fitting that it was ramen that helped you release your pent up emotions.

Kakashi was sitting across from you in the booth of the nearly empty restaurant, it was probably around 10 pm now and the only people in here other than you both were a few drunk men at a different table. “After we eat let’s get a room and a bath and we’ll meet the Kage in the morning” he says and you nod, your mouth full of noodles and your heart happier than it’s been these past few weeks. You were going to be yourself and be his friend no matter what, because you cared about him and that was all that mattered. ‘Everything will be fine.’ You think to yourself as you finish your bowl and meet his eye, smiling warmly at him. That just confused him even more. He was sitting here the entire time wondering how to talk to you about what’s going wrong and you just turn around and act normal again. What the hell. He’ll talk to you more about it later tonight.

“I’m gonna get a room at the inn down the road and then head to the bathhouse, you eat and we’ll meet up after” you say as you place enough money on the table for both of your meals before slipping out of the booth and out into the chilly night air. ‘Yea’ Kakashi thinks to himself ‘I’ll definitely have to talk to her about this later’

“Lucky you!” The person at the front desk says “it’s the last room” they hand you over your key and a string of curses go through your mind, you let go of your pent of feelings but that didn’t mean you wanted to be thrown right into intimate moments with him. You couldn’t do much about it now “do you have an extra mattress? I have a friend who needs a room as well and we might have to share” you say and frown, to which they chuckle amusedly at your unhappiness “yes we do! We’ll have one sent to your room” you nod “thank you. Where is the bathhouse?”

The cold night air is calming, you look up at the moon as you walk slowly down the road to the bathhouse, grateful to the inn keeper for the directions. Your hands in your pocket and your footsteps practically silent, just like your thoughts, surprisingly quiet for the first time in weeks. You felt a weight off your shoulders, like physical evidence of your letting go of your hard feelings. Finally coming to terms with your heart. You felt so relieved and you can’t wait to sink into the hot water so your muscles could feel the same kind of relief.

Strings of even more harsher curses run through your head as you read the sign on the bathhouse. It was co-ed. Open to all. Which means you’ll probably have to share a bath with your ninja partner. Just great. You took a deep breath and steeled your nerves before walking into the establishment. Maybe Kakashi would take his time or maybe he’d find another inn and go to bed right away. You sigh, knowing he’ll be here soon.

Luckily the bath was empty as you entered, you lowered your body into the hot water and sighed in happiness. You considered hurrying but now that your body is in the water you know you’ll stay as long as your body wants, no matter who showed up. You laid your head back and took a deep breath, feeling the hot water release the tension you’ve been holding, which was almost immediately replaced with new tension when you heard the door open.

Even though you knew who it was, you raised your left eyebrow, causing your eye to open lazily as you looked through the steam at the silver haired man. He gave you a slight nod before you closed your eye and focused on steadying your breathing. You’ve seen him shirtless before, but you knew if you saw him in this setting you’d have a heart attack and stop breathing. He’d never let you forget that either so you couldn’t let him know the affect he had on you, sure, you’ve accepted you’d never be anything more than work friends but that didn’t mean you were blind.

His body couldn’t relax in the hot water, he had no room and now he had to share a bath with you. How cruel could the universe be? The wet glint off your shoulders that peaked out of the water, your wet hair stuck to your neck, the way you looked so relaxed in the hot water, it all drove him wild. What done him in though, was the way you looked at him when he walked in, ‘sooo cute.’ He thought. This was exactly like a scene from his favorite book, it was everything he could just to keep his boner at bay. So

The sigh that left your lips as ran the warm wet washcloth over your neck, made his heart race, he couldn’t help but watch you. You don’t know what has happened, something in you snapped the longer he watched you wash your chest and shoulders, something compelled you and you didn’t fight it, you embraced it. “You want to help me wash my back or are you just enjoying the show?” You ask, your eyes still on the washcloth as it passes across your skin. His heart beat is hammering in his chest, that was the last thing he expected you to say but he couldn’t resist from moving slowly through the water and over to you, sitting behind you he reaches down and takes the cloth from you, slowly running it up your arm and over your shoulder.

Your heart is pounding in your ears, you sigh softly and your eyes flutter closed, tilting your head to the side as the cloth passes over your shoulder and neck. You pull your hair all to the front of your shoulder so your back was completely open and you hum contentedly as he begins to wash your back slowly, you lean forward when he gets midway so he could go lower if he wanted, your knees up on the side of the seats and your arms wrapped around your knees.

When you’re satisfied with his work you look over your shoulder at him with a smile before turning around to face him, looking into his eye as you take the cloth from him, you run the warm cloth up his arm starting from his wrist, when you get to his shoulder he breaks eye contact to turn around to allow you to wash his back as well. You wash his strong shoulders, leaving the cloth on one of them as you begin to massage his neck, kneading your fingers into his skin, working down his strong shoulders, kneading out knots and smiling every time he lets out of a relaxed, soft, moan. You massage down his back, working the muscles near his spine massaging in small circles with your thumbs to his lower back before running your finger tips up his back and across his ribs before grabbing the cloth and finishing washing him now that you were satisfied with how relaxed he looked. You set the cloth down to the side, softly running your finger tips across his shoulders before placing a feather kiss to the back of his neck. “Thank you for your help ‘Kashi” you whisper, finally breaking the silence, “if you don’t have a room, I’ll get another mattress and you can stay with me. Room 23.”

He was so relaxed he didn’t know you were gone until your words registered, who knows how long it’s really been, he thought he felt you kiss his neck but part of him believes he dreamed it. The longer this mission went the more confused he got.

[sunflovverharry]

Friends with Benefits - Chapter 2

a/n: I’m back with a new chapter of my fwb series and it hasn’t been proofread, but I wanted to get it out for you as it’s been two weeks since I posted the first one. As always, I hope you like this chapter and please reblog or message me if you do, enjoy! <33 To read the first chapter, click here

Pairing: police officer!h + Alex

Word count: 7k

Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption, nsfw content

Three weeks later, my group of friends and I were yet again sitting in a booth at the club we went to last time. They’ve been out once after last time, but I had to sit that one out because of work. I had basically taken over the vice-headteacher role as she had quit out of nowhere and we have noone to replace her before the end of the school year. It’s a fucking pain in my ass but the headteacher didn’t really give me a choice as she flinged all the papers and what not I had to go through while also doing my job as a counsellor.

Tonight I was ready to forget all about work and students as I chugged the rest of my pint, ready to feel the effects of the alcohol running through my blood. I downed a shot of whatever Jake had ordered for us before dragging Charlie with me to the dance floor already stuffed full of drunk young adults much like myself. I’m not much of a dancer no matter how much alcohol I have consumed, but today I felt like I needed to shake off some steam and the only way I knew how right now was to get dancing.

Walking to the dance floor, I started feeling the groove as my body began to move to the hip hop coming out through the speakers all over the club. I pulled Charlie behind me before coming to a stop near the middle of everyone, shaking my hips to the beat. Never having liked hip hop, I was glad the alcohol I’d consumed made me forget about actually listening to the music, only interested in going back to my teen years and dancing like I had no care in the world. Grinding my ass on Charlie, throwing my hands up in the air I was feeling myself and everything about this week was quickly showed to the back of my head and forgotten. Charlies hands were on my hips, no doubt making everyone around who were still clear in their heads think we were either a couple or hooking up tonight. This wasn’t the first time we’ve danced like this, having known him since my early teens and instantly became good friends so I have no plans of ever hooking up with him.

Not much later, most of our friends had joined us on the floor. We moved between each other, dancing with everyone before they decided to make a circle. That’s when I went back to our booth. My days where standing in a circle on the dance floor was cool, were over a long time ago.

Sinking back into one of the leather booth sofas, I found my phone in my purse slung over my shoulder. There were a couple of notifications from friends having sent snapchats of their nights and a message from my mum from earlier in the night I didn’t even bother to read. Checking the time before putting the phone back in my purse, I made my way to the toilets. There wasn’t much of a line thankfully so I walked straight into a cubicle with an open door, locking it behind me. I could feel the effects of the intoxicating liquors I’d consumed since starting this evening. My head was spinning, but not enough for me to feel sick, yet anyways. I left the cubicle to wash my hands and fix the layer of makeup I’d put on. My eyes were blurring the matching picture of myself in the mirror, making me squint to see if I was doing my lipstick right.

Smacking my lips together and putting the lid on the lipstick, I could hear the door to the bathroom open, the sound of the music louder in the few seconds before it flung shut again. I wasn’t looking at who came in as I was putting the lipstick back into my purse. Hearing the clearing of a throat not too far from me made me look up at whoever made a sound of wanting my attention, presumably one of my friends wondering why I left them out there.

My eyes flung up to meet the same green eyes I’d met at the bar three weeks ago. The same eyes I’d stared into as his lips moved when he spoke. The same eyes I watched as he came inside me. The same eyes I apologetically left early the next morning. The same eyes I’d dreamt about ever since that night. Who wouldn’t dream about them? They are magnificent.

“Fancy seeing you here.” I’m sure my jaw was still hanging in shock of seeing him again. I hadn’t expected having another interaction with him, not that I’m disappointed in the slightest.

I let out a chuckle, his smirk still glued onto his lips, just like when he was standing opposite me leaning onto his kitchen counters three weeks ago. The sight of him and the memories of last, or first should I say, time we met already made my clit throb. I’d get something more to imagine when I’m touching myself - only being able to get off to the thought of Harry since that night. Pure lust and want is flowing through my body as I continue looking up at him wondering why he’s at this club again, remembering how he had told me he wasn’t a regular here.

“You look gorgeous, pet.” Harry’s eyes glided down my body to take me in from top to toe. I didn’t feel intimidated under his eyes at all, but that might be because of the alcohol or the fact that there was a smug smile on his lips for the duration of his glance.

“I must say I’m disappointed that you’re not in your police uniform, but I guess you look good, too, officer.” I could see the gears turning in his head as he heard the nickname. He’s got to be called officer at least a hundred times a day, but not in a sultry, seductive tone like I said it in.

There was a moment of silence between us as we held each others eyes. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes only visible in a certain light though. Still handsome as hell. I’m sure he’d look fine no matter what.

Finally Harry pushed a single curl that fell down back and exhaled a long breath as if he’d been holding it in for the time we were stood there.

“And you’re still bold as ever, huh?” He closed the distance between us in a couple of strides, his long legs moving his body swiftly. A pair of black jeans were tight against his muscular thighs while his upper body was adorned by a colourful t-shirt with some saying I couldn’t focus on. The man looked just as handsome as the last time I’d seen him. I’d even go as far as to call him cute when he gets that dimpled smile decorating his cheeks. Saying it turned me on was an understatement, my knickers getting wetter as the moment passed.

Having the liquid courage, I made a quick decision to answer his question by moving my hand from my side to run my index finger around his lips with a snicker, “You bet.” Only having a brief time spent with him sober that Saturday morning, he knows me as bold and confident - which isn’t necessarily how I am in the confinement of my own home and company.

Harry’s eyes were frantic as he looked from my finger as I traced his lips to my own eyes looking at his lips. It took him a few seconds to collect himself. One of his perfectly calloused hands gripped my wrist, his eyes on mine as he lowered it and took a hold of my neck with his free hand. I looked up at him with curious eyes wondering what he was planning on doing to me, silently hoping for a repeat of what happened three weeks ago.

It appeared he was going back and forth with himself about if he should move away or close the small gap between us. I waited for him to make up his mind, not wanting him to pull away but not doing anything to keep him closer. Maybe he was searching for consent before doing anything more than holding me in place, not wanting anything to jeopardize his career. I still hadn’t moved away or made any sign of being uncomfortable in his hold.

Suddenly he tightened his hold on my neck and pulled me in and smacked our lips together in a long and shamelessly urgent kiss. His lips felt just as nice and full against mine as last time. The softness to them was delicious, the stubble around his lips going down his jaw making the juxtaposition incredible. Only feeling his lips made my head swim in thoughts about how I want to feel him do the same thing to my pussy lips - so what will tasting the inside of his mouth make me think?

Harry bit my lip, pulling it back with him as he moved back a bit before it smacked back against my teeth. He didn’t waste time and went tongue first as he chased my own letting out a slight growl as we fought for dominance. The sound made me smile against his lips loving that I made him feel good by only kissing.

He tasted like tequila and lime, the sour taste being a bit overwhelming but I wasn’t bothered as he sucked my upper lip in between his lips before diving in again. It was wet and sloppy, but exactly what we needed in the moment. His lips were imperfectly perfect against mine and his tongue licking into my mouth felt sensual like I’ve never experienced before.

Letting my wrist out of his strong hold, I could move it freely deciding the best place was on his lower back, inching closer to his butt as we made out in the South-east Clapham bar bathroom. We didn’t have a care in the world the only thing on our minds was the feel of the others lips and hands grabbing in ecstacy wanting to be closer. Knowing we couldn’t get any further in here with the unlimited spacing and privacy - the both of us obviously not wanting to be caught fucking - we reluctantly let up and created a little more space between us. Well, not so much between our bodies which were still as close as they could be, but our lips weren’t touching and Harry’s hooded eyes were scanning mine trying to see if we had the same intentions.

I can’t imagine it was hard to tell that I wanted tonight to end up like it did all those weeks ago. If he couldn’t tell by just looking at me, I moved my hand to his hip squeezing it as I nodded my head in the direction of the exit.

There weren’t any words exchanges between us as he took hold of my hand and walked out of the bathroom and into the unusually large crowd for a regular friday night in Clapham. He pulled me behind him, the tight hold on my hand making sure he wouldn’t lose me as we moved through the bar to get to his mates where he had left his jacket when he came to the toilets.

Only two seats were taken at the booth they had occupied for the night and Harry quickly grabbed his jacket after patting the guy closest to him on the shoulder telling them he was out. I don’t know it they were the same people he was out with last time or if they had noticed me waiting for him by the exit, but this time I was holding his hand and they made it pretty obvious they noticed me winking at Harry and telling him to have a good night.

The walk back to his house was spent joking and laughing together, not talking about last time or our plans for the night. It’s nice being able to have a laugh with him and there be no hidden message behind it or dirty thoughts - though they were there and would come to the forefront of my mind when we’re inside his house and sort of confined compared to the open outside. Only after two walks home with him I feel more comfortable by the minute and can’t help but feel giddy at the fact that we met once again and we’re on the way home for a fun night ahead. Maybe we’ll experiment a little more or go on for longer.

The fresh air had sobered me up quite a bit, hoping Harry had as well, but I was definitely still strongly inebriated compared to my usual sober state. As Harry opened the front door and let me in the first thought I had was that it was messy. A lot messier compared to last time when there was barely anything to pick on. It surprised me and made me wonder if this was the usual state of the house, or if he’d just had a rough day or week like I had.

It didn’t seem like he had any plan on saying anything about the mess as he shut the door and locked it behind him, walking towards me in quick strides. This wasn’t anything like last time.

“Are we going to stand here staring at each other all night?” I hadn’t even noticed his eyes on me, too focused on studying him and talking myself out of any possible feelings that might come. If I manage to keep it flirty and fun, I might be able to keep any feelings for him in check. The only thing I’m looking to feel tonight is his cock growing in my mouth and throbbing inside me.

This was purposeful, much like earlier in the night when we saw each other in the bar bathroom. We knew what we wanted from each other and there wouldn’t be any teasing - from my part at least. I want - need - a long night of fucking a hot police officer and completely forget about the stress at work and with my parents.

Harry had a strong grip around my waist and his other hand at the back of my neck, pulling me as close as he possibly could and put his lips on my waiting ones. It felt good to kiss someone - him - again and him taking charge of what would happen. After our one-nighter a few weeks ago, I’ve been craving the same feeling as Harry gave me that night as I played with myself. The intense and incredible orgasm he pulled from me and the fact that he wasn’t afraid to cuddle after gave me enough material for sex dreams the coming weeks.

A slightly broken groan exited Harry’s lips when I pulled his hair between my fingers and reciprocated the kiss with just as much fervor and eagerness, not wanting to wait for much longer to see where it would take us. His hand trailed down from my waist to rest on my bum. I let out a shaky breath as his lips moved to my jaw, leaving closed-mouth kisses in his trace down my neck. How he made me feel good in such a short amount of time and barely even touching me is absurd and I’m not sure I like that he has that effect on me. But at the same time, I love it.

Harry moved slightly forward trapping in between his body and the wall, making sure there was no way for me to move. Not that I wanted to gain space between us. No, more like the opposite as I began to unbutton his white shirt showing off his biceps and lovely chest. I couldn’t help myself as I skillfully moved lower down and finished by unbuttoning his trousers as well. It popped open and the zipper followed before I pulled the shirt off him showing off his torso though I couldn’t quite get my eyes on it yet as Harry’s head was shielding my view as he went ham on my neck. Not that I minded; wanting to show off to everyone how much of a great shag this man is.

The shirt dropped to the floor and Harry came up from my neck to meet my lips again. He moved a couple of inches making our fronts glue together. I felt his steadily growing length against my core as he thrusted his hips forward to gain some friction. When Harry heard me moan at the feeling and feel me try to pull his hips closer he smirked at me. It was hot the way he was so sure of himself this time, maybe it was the alcohol he had consumed tonight. As he kept his eyes on mine, our noses almost touching, he ground his hips into mine. The smirk was still on his lips - it might’ve grown when I let out a sound of pleasure and leaned my head on the wall.

“If you can’t tell, I really fucking want you, Alex.” Harry's lips separated at the feeling of his cock straining against his restricting jeans and his brows furrowed creating a crease between them. His frankness in wanting me - something he didn’t verbally let me know last time at least - lit a fire inside me. It felt really fucking good to know I’m wanted in that way by someone as impeccable as Harry and I don’t think I could ever remove the loving smile on my lips.

“You can have me in any way you want, I don’t have any plans tomorrow so I expect you to fuck my brains out.” Disbelief was written all over his face as his hands stopped moving where they had been groping and gripping my ass. Letting out a laugh when he got a grip on himself he shuffled out of his shoes and kicked them behind him and got his hands back on my ass, lightly slapping it before moving them lower to my thighs and picked me up. I had ran away from him the last time he tried to lift me up, but I didn’t necessarily care this time.

A squeal made its way past my lips as he quickly made his way from the hallway to his front room that I hadn’t seen before. Not that I paid any attention to it now, except for the fact that I was thrown down on an insanely comfortable gray corner sofa. Harry hovered over me and I let my fingers trail along his chest and stomach. It was definitely defined, but he didn’t have abs. I liked that he was completely ripped and still had that softness to him that I got to feel when we cuddled. He clenched his hand next to my head as he felt my fingers on him, admiring the view. It was a three-sixty to what I had just told him to do to me, but I didn’t mind. Both sides of Harry were greatly appreciated.

“I’ve been daydreaming about what your tits look like since I didn’t get to see them and it’s been killing me not knowing if I would get the chance to or not.” His deep, raspy voice was heavenly and told me I wasn’t the only one to have dreams about our time together over the last few weeks.

I shook my head at him, barely acknowledging his words, though I heard him loud and clear. Harry sank down on his knees between my parted legs to have his hands free to roam my body. He didn’t have a clear view of my pussy as I wasn’t wearing a skirt, this time my legs were covered in light wash jeans.

«Then get me naked so you can see them.» I wasn’t into him taking his time when all I wanted was to get on with it and feel the incredibly rousing and breathtaking enjoyment of having him inside me bringing us both to our highs. Though I savored the look in his eyes as he moved them from where his hands glided over my waist and hips to my - still - covered tits all the way up to my lips. It was as if he didn’t quite know where to begin although we already established that he wanted to see my tits in all their glory.

Harry suddenly got up and stood next to me - laying still on his sofa.

«Roll over.» Glancing at him, he looked completely gone as if he’s in his mind and not putting all his attention on me. Deciding that it doesn’t matter as long as he’ll fuck me I turned my body over on my front, my hands moving to lay crossed over my head.

I didn’t lay there for long before I felt Harry’s fingers back on my skin, trailing on and around the straps of my bra and the clamp before roaming down my back and to my jeans. Lifting my hips a bit so he could reach around to unbutton it and pull it down my legs, he worked quickly and meticulously. Like he knew exactly what he was working towards and how to get it. I didn’t complain nor would I complain about him doing anything and everything he wanted to do to me.

He pulled the thong barely even covering my fanny down my legs, too, before getting back in the position he was in before he got up. His naked muscular thighs behind mine and his arms holding himself up as he leaned down closer to me. He must have pulled his pants down when he was standing, only left in a pair of briefs.

“I’m gonna keep the anticipation up for a little while longer, while I enjoy you sweet little peach that I didn’t get to do last time, okay, pet?” Harry’s raspy voice whispered into my ear and pulled my hair away from my face. The difference between his rough voice and words to his gentle fingers running across my cheek and behind my ear to move my hair was strong. It continued as his fingers ran down my back, giving me goosebumps in their trail, and ended up where his front met my ass, bringing his hand up before harshly slapping it down to my cheek.

I couldn’t help but move forward at the sensation at the same time moaning at the pleasure and pain combined. Somehow, without me telling him, he must’ve realized I enjoy certain sexual things others probably don’t. With other partners they’ve never been able to detect likes or kinks or even be able to make me have a relatively good orgasm. Harry just seems to know what to do to make me putty in his hands and take joy in it.

Harry wanting to keep himself from getting the enjoyment of watching, playing or fucking my tits made me wonder how much this man likes to give and rather puts himself last in sexual situations - if not all considering his line of work.

His hands made their way down my thigh and grazing the inside of my knees before parting them to get a good look at my already soaking wet puzzy. Nothing felt awkward with Harry and I didn't have a single worry running through me as he gazed right at it before going in for a taste. It’s been forever since anyone ate me out and god was I excited about it. Previous partners haven’t really cared to spend enough time down there to get to know how I like it or even if I enjoy it or not. Though it bothered me a bit, I was just happy to be intimate with someone as guys usually tend to go for my friends walking straight past me. I’m surprised Harry showed interest - maybe that’s cause I was alone at that point.

There was no teasing when he finally dipped down and started licking and sucking my flowing juices before going further down to catch my clit between his soft lips. His nose grazed my asshole, but he didn’t seem to want more than to be within close proximities to it nor did he seem to mind. If he were to want to want to do more than just graze it I wouldn’t be opposed, but I won’t dwell on the thought until it possibly gets brought up. I couldn’t think straight as he opened his mouth around my clit and sucked. It wasn’t a teasing, light suck, but a harsh suck making my eyes roll back and the loudest cry of his name slip out of my lips.

Moving back to my entrance his tongue slipped in and out while lapping up my juices. It was as if this was his first meal of the day and he wasn’t gonna be full until I orgasmed. His hands were grasping my bum cheeks to make sure there was enough space so he could get full access and at least breathe a little bit.

My hand gripped a pillow nearby and my toes curled as I suddenly felt his thumb on my clit rubbing circles into it. The feeling of both his tongue and thumb working to get me to reach my first orgasm was all I could ask for a great start to the night.

«Please.. Harry I’m gonna cum.. Please Har- Ahh!» I begged for him to bring me to my high - not that I was far away at all, but I needed that last little push. Anything would suffice at this point. He took his thumb away and moved his mouth back on my clit, giving it full attention. The hand he was using went back on my ass for a short moment before pulling it away again. Then it came down on my cheek, hard and loud as he slapped me while tonguing and sucking at my clit. It was the last push I needed to finally orgasm, coming with a loud cry of his name ending in a moan at the feeling of his mouth not stopping until I came down.

The sensitivity I felt made me jerk forward a bit to try and move away from him. Thankfully he understood that I couldn’t take anymore right now needing a second to catch my breath before we fucked. He landed a light kiss to the asscheek he had slapped, his hands roaming my body from my thighs up to my hips along my spine ending up on my neck as his lips followed his movements. It was a sickly sweet thing to do to someone you’re only met for the second time tonight and strictly having sex with - for now at least.

I wasn’t in the right mind for a relationship, nevertheless my first relationship, nor did I want someone pining after me. Not that I would ever think Harry would be pining after someone like me when he can get someone so much better by the blink of an eye.

«You good?» I couldn’t do anything but nod my head, telling him I wanted more by shaking my hips against his pelvis. He was still wearing his pants, but the stiff cock hidden was obvious when he pressed his hips against mine. I loved feeling him get hard for me, it was the best confidence boost.

Though I had gone significantly longer between two shags last time, the three weeks between our meetings were enough for me to be just as needy for the feeling of getting filled up as I was weeks ago. Every lad I’ve been with sure haven’t left me with the same feeling, more like being needy for something better. I really don’t think I’m gonna get much better than this with Harry knowing exactly how to please me - or any woman really.

Barely hearing the sigh leaving Harry’s lips as he took his cock out of his briefs, I was somewhat surprised when I felt him between my cheeks. He rubbed himself along the space, holding himself down to get the tight feeling of it. Shaking my arse slightly to tell him to get on with it he let out a cute giggle at my urgency to get on with it. I wanted nothing more than to feel his thick cock sliding into my impossibly wet and ready pussy. Remembering how amazing he made me feel made me want to relish in it again - especially if this would be the last time this was to happen.

Harry guided his tip along my slit to gather some of my wetness along his length before situating himself at my entrance. Shuffling his knee a tiny bit forward with his other leg on the ground, he slowly made his way into me with a couple of muffled words. A groan left his mouth when he bottomed out at the same time as I let out a delicious moan, a smile finding my lips.

«Your noises are just like they’ve been in my dreams.» I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t tell me he’s dreamt of me if he wasn’t drunk, but I took in his words with a gasp as he rammed into me again.

His pace was significantly quicker than last time and I was brought close to my second orgasm in no time as his balls hit my clit when he pushed into me. My hand was clenched around the flesh of his thigh - what I could reach anyway. I’m sure my nails were digging into his warm skin but nothing was on the forefront of my mind at this very moment except for the fact that he was fucking me as if I was his favorite toy after a rough day. It was exactly what I needed and again I’m asking myself how he knows exactly what I want and need.

«Fuck, Har-» I couldn’t get out my words as his palm came down on my asscheek at the same time as he fucked into me. It was perfectly timed and I savored the pleasurable pain I got from it unlike anything else. I moved my hand from where it was on his thigh to his wrist connected to the hand planted secure on my cheek. His other had was gripping my waist forcefully as he slammed into me without caring about bruises or pain. Not that I minded in the slightest, only egging him on with the sounds I couldn’t even try to keep from his ear shot. There was no way he didn’t hear me from the way I literally screamed out in satisfaction.

«You’re so wet, pet. So fucking wet and inviting.» Harry was breathing heavily, but it seemed he planned on keeping up his pace as long as he possibly could. «You like when I get rough, huh?» He had me speechless, unable to tell him how much I was enjoying what he was doing to me. The only thing he could take from me was my gasps and breathless moans as he fucked me.

The hand previously on my waist suddenly went to my cunt, his middle finger stimulating my clit by drawing circles on it. My body unconsciously tried to move forward to get away from him as he pinched my clit - the stimulation nothing like what I’ve ever felt before. Harry held me back though and his quick pace didn’t falter one bit. It was turning me even more on how he managed to keep me back, his strong physique impressing me.

My legs were shaking and I fought to keep them up while he continued to press drawings into my clit, his right hand gripping onto the flesh of my ass. I desperately wanted to keep up, but my legs failed me as I flung forward. Harry didn’t let me relax for more than five seconds before he separated my legs a little bit to get better access to my pussy which he had slipped out of when I fell down. He guided himself back in, giving a couple slow thrusts before continuing his pace from before.

He held himself up by his arms on both sides of my head, hips hips getting us both to our highs we were longing for. It wouldn’t take much for me to get off as I was already so close and with this new position I’m much tighter making it harder for Harry to keep his orgasm back.

«C’mon, pet, I can feel you- feel you squeezin’ me tight.» I could tell Harry was close by the way he had to stop talking for a moment before finishing his sentence. I felt amazing and just a couple more thrusts of him meeting the spongy spot inside me had me coming undone around his cock.

My legs shook and my hand moved up to grip his neck, my fingers catching a fee of his curls and he let out a series of groans into my ear. I hadn’t noticed how close we had gotten when we changed position.

«Where do you want it?» I hadn’t ever been asked where I wanted the lad to spurt his cum, but I should’ve guessed he would ask as this is Harry (and he asked last time too) and not some sex crazed idiot.

«Arse. Cum on my arse Harry, please.» I breathed out, my orgasm just about at its end when Harry pulled out and jerked himself off until he came. Spurts of cum fell on my arse, some on my lower back. Harry was loud when he orgasmed, letting out moans and groans of sensitivity when he reached his tip to make sure he had got every last drop of his load out.

I laid on my front, feeling the sticky substance on my arse as I tried to get my breathing back to normal. It sounded like Harry was doing the same as he sat with his knees on either side of my right thigh getting a full view of my spent pussy and his release taking its place on me.

«I’ll go get a towel to clean you up, unless you wanna shower?» I smiled into the crook of my arm at the man sitting behind me - probably staring at how his cum had covered my red arse - offering to lend me, a one(two)-night-stand, his shower.

Telling him I’d take up his offer if he joined me, we had quickly made our way upstairs to his luxurious bathroom I had dreamt of having last time I was in here. The expansive shower was a dream and sharing it with Harry made the dream even better. It all seemed a little too domestic and intimate for it to be with someone I barely even knew. Thinking about it, I only really knew his first name, that he is a police officer and has a lush house I could barely see myself having in the future.

Harry took the showerhead from its place on the wall and turned it on, the water turned away from us so we wouldn’t feel the cold water. When the water heated up, he told me to turn around and grabbed the body wash he had in here. He angled to shower head to my back, spending extra time on my arse to get away his cum before lathering the area along with my legs with his soap, cleaning me up.

It felt nice to have someone spend this much time on my body, but not having a sexual desire behind it - in this very moment at least. Though it scared me how it didn’t feel awkward at all and he didn’t care a bit about how I mostly only let him see my back. I didn’t feel comfortable showing him my pouch in the light room even if he said he wouldn’t care or not.

When he finished rinsing the soap off of me, he put himself under the other showerhead fastened to the roof making it like a waterfall. He looked tired and spent, ready to sleep for a week straight. I couldn’t help but think it was more that a hot fucking that made him this tired.

«Was I too rough? Can see marks on your waist and your arse is red as.» Harry skimmed his fingers along my waist going down to my cheeks, carefully caressing them as it was kinda painful. A good pain.

«No, I liked it. Just what I needed, and it seemed you did too?» I tried to be sneaky about my question wanting to get something out of him about his life so I could have something more to hold on to as we said goodbye in the morning.

He looked defeated when I questioned him and as if he was rolling events through his mind after not thinking about it since earlier this afternoon. Shrugging and letting out a heavy breath he opened the shower door and put a towel around his waist after running it through his hair.

«It’s been a tough week with a case we can't seem to figure out. I was so glad I ran into you and got to think about something else for a bit, so thank you, I guess.» He wasn’t thanking me for the sex, but for letting him take the reigns and get out of his head. It didn’t seem like a good time to tell him that I needed it just as much as he did, but I hoped he understood.

Drying our bodies, Harry made his way into his closet to get me a shirt and himself a pair of briefs. He was back in his own thoughts again, quiet and thinking. Knowing we needed each other to forget, I grabbed his wrist as he made his way out of the bathroom again and pulled him against me.

He had been making a big deal about my tits all night and when he finally got to see them when we got in the shower, he didn’t do anything about it. I was confused. Was he not pleased with how they looked or was just not in the right mind anymore?

«It seems you forgot about a certain body part of mine tonight. And I think you know which part I’m talking about.» We held our eyes on each other as I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t do anything until I moved my hand to unwrap the towel still around my body. Slowly, the towel slid down my body landing in a puddle around my feet. I let go of my own insecurities about my body as I stood completely bare in front of him. It was as if he was in a trance when he finally moved his eyes down.

After taking my tits in fully it really didn’t take much for him to dive in. One was occupied by his hand, fingers pinching my nipple and grabbing it, probably leaving marks there too. The other was covered by his mouth, teeth grazing the nipple pulling it a bit to get every reaction he could out of me by playing with my tits. I stood in the middle of his bathroom, completely nude, as he took his time looking, fingering, sucking at my nipples and chest. Knowing it probably wouldn’t be enough go get him fully hard, I pulled his briefs down to his thighs, not able to reach further. His cock was barely starting to get hard, but I like feeling him grow in my hands.

He groaned when he felt my hands on him and he bit my nipple at the feeling, enough to get a moan from me.

«I want you to fuck my tits, Harry.» No one had fucked my tits before, but I want Harry to cum by my tits. It was hot and lewd and I wanted it just as much for me as for him. Having a man cum twice in a night for me was definitely a wish come true.

«I-I..» I laughed at Harry’s face, shocked with wide eyes and jaw hung. «Yes ma’am.» He giggled like a little boy when he got his head together understanding what I was asking him to do. 

His hands found their place on my waist as his lips met mine in a messy kiss. Teeth clashing and tongues licking into the others mouth to get a taste. I walked with him as he began backing out of the bathroom to get to his bedroom. The kiss slowed down, our lips meeting in what could only be described as two people filled with lust and need for each other. Our hands couldn’t find a specific spot to hold on to, gripping, touching and getting to know every part of his body that was reachable.

«I must be in a dream. A fucking stunning woman asking me to fuck her tits.» Harry seemed stunned just like a couple of moments ago in the bathroom.

—

After finishing in my mouth, I got up to brush my teeth and get ready for bed pulling on the shirt he gave me after our shower. It wasn’t awkward when I came back to bed, Harry had put his briefs back on and was laying on his back close to the middle, his eyes closed almost falling asleep.

Shuffling under the blankets without making too many movements I laid my head on the pillow. His bed felt just as comfortable as I remember and I was excited to have a well-needed lay in.

«Do you have work in the morning?» I suddenly remember what he said last time about having the early morning shift on most Saturdays. Praying that he had tomorrow off, I turned to watch him as he sighed and moved to pull my body in flush against his.

«Sort of. I’m on call so I might be lucky and not get called on until later, but that’s wishful thinking honestly.» Closing my eyes I rested my head on his chest and quickly found peace in his fingers trailing down the side of my waist and his lips pecking my head as a way of saying goodnight.

-

thank you for reading and as I said, I’d really appreciate a reblog to get my writing out there <33