#because he didnt fight all the trauma himself

[albino-whumpee]

Mentioning Sann and Al on therapy is so embarrassing. I already know what they truly mean to me, man, don´t say it outloud like that. 

Tho, I have the sensation that my therapist messes who is who sometimes, so sometimes his examples arent very accurate. But something that made me relax was his words about their relationship. How Sann first started reciprocating his feelings because he felt indebted and slowly realized he didn´t have to pay back even if there was nothing specific that provoked it was somewhat relieving. 

But I wonder if he understood later he feels lacking and frustrated when he can´t give back the care and comfort Al provided when he was recovering from his conditioning, because he feels that its not an equal exchange and sees the impact in Al´s depression turning worse and worse.

[achaotichuman]

Acotar Rant

Whenever I see shit like ‘Tamlin is depressed and wants to die because Feyre left him’ ‘He’s so desperate for Feyre and that’s whats driven him to this point.’ All I can think is, do we just collectively think Tamlin is immune to trauma??

To even grasp this situation you have to go way back before the book even starts. Tamlin was preyed on by the pedophile that helped ruin his childhood who then cursed him because he told her no.

He then had to watch all his close friends die in vain for him while he desperately searched for decades for another solution. He brought in refugees fleeing from other Courts. He. Carried. His. Dead. Citizens. And. Hand. Buried. Them. And he had to do it all without ever being able to fall apart.

The Feyre came along, and he learned to care for her. He didnt want her to just be used to break the curse because he didnt want to just be using her. He fell in love with a person that saw past the mask (both figuratively and literally) and allowed him a safe space. One that had long ago been stripped from him.

Then she was sexually assaulted, tortured and killed in front of him. He watched the love of his life die for him and he was completely unable to do anything about it.

Then he was given another chance to protect her and he took it. Granted this is not to excuse his actions, but there has to be some nuance given to the fact that he watched her literally die and was by the grace of God given another chance.

Then this same girl that he loved and desperately wanted to protect from the same thing happening again, was kidnapped. This same woman then tricked him into believing she had once again been raped by the same monster who assaulted her under the mountain and killed his family.

The very same woman then mind raped his sentries, his friends, and then proceeded to destroy his Court which he had spent decades trying everything in his power to protect, from the inside out. Then allowed Hybern to rampage through, destroying a neighbouring Court in the process.

He had to watch his people die all over again, when Feyre lied to him, he saw her dying under the mountain all over again. And he still went to war! He was spying on Hybern and gave over vital information about them to the High lords!

Then he dragged Beron out by his neck to fight for Prythian.

And when all was said and done he helped bring back the monster that had destroyed him mentally all for the sake of the girl that had killed his people.

Then he left them all alone in the end. Spring was abandoned and him along with it. This man, who very clearly has abandonment issues from the fact he was rejected by his family and beat within an inch of his life to the point he ran from home to the War Camps, was left completely by himself.

Lucien does come to see him once every now and again, but I also don’t blame Tamlin for not wanting him too. Considering even though Lucien had extremely valid reasons for leaving when he did, he still left Spring for dead without an explanation.

In the end, it is not ‘Tamlin needs to get over himself and his ex’ its Tamlin needs an extreme amount of mental help. He is a survivor as much as the rest of them.

Not even Feyre was able to recover from her mental health without a ton of fucking help. No one was, everyone got their support groups in the end

Tamlin went through it all without ever taking himself into consideration and still made it. He deserves to be able to fall apart.

[rootbeerrex]

Jason and Bruce's first encounter in Batman #408 is blatantly mischaracterized so often that I have to do a double take every time I see anyone talking about it. I would like to say before I get into this that there's nothing wrong with disregarding canon, but you gotta know what you're disregarding or you just completely ignore the important character dynamics that are set up.

First of all, Bruce didn't see Jason stealing his tires and say "oh yeah, I'm adopting this kid." Yes, he did think it was funny and end up getting invested in Jason's life, but he had no intention to adopt or even interact with Jason again. He sends Jason to Ma Gunn's school, hoping that Jason can get an actual education and have a successful life.

People like to claim that Bruce was just lonely after Dick left and so he replaced him with the first kid he saw, and if you assume that Bruce just grabbed Jason off the streets after their first meeting, that seems pretty damning. but he DIDNT. he didn't initially want to make Jason Robin, he just wanted Jason to have a good life and get out of Crime Alley. (don't get me wrong, I still think it's fucked up that he made Jason Robin and failed to communicate with him about what that really meant and made him feel like he had to live up to Dick perfectly, but if we're gonna critiquing Bruce, we're gonna do it accurately.) He didn't even plan on interacting with Jason again in any meaningful way until he finds out that Jason isn't going to Ma Gunn's, and Jason explains that it's not a real school.

And after that he STILL doesn't make any decisions. It's not until after Jason tries to stop the heist at the museum completely separately from Batman that Bruce even takes in Jason himself.

And yeah, I really don't like the way he did this, but the narrative that Bruce just scooped Jason up off the streets because he wanted a new Robin is just straight up inaccurate. Yeah, I can totally admit that he probably felt at least a little lonely with Dick's absence and that affected his decision, but I think more importantly he saw himself in Jason and made his decision based on that.

The same way he recognized Dick's trauma with witnessing his parents' deaths, he recognized Jason's here. Do I think letting these kids fight crime is the best way to handle this trauma? of course not! but as explained earlier, he didn't originally intend to make Jason robin. And even more than that, these are comics, they don't have to be good choices that would be okay in the real world!

Okay anyway I forgot what my other points were and I just spent an hour writing this out and finding the panels, so uh here. Sorry I went on a little bit of a rant here.

[multifan2022]

*Prewarning.. this is my first attempt at writing again.. I haven't touched my laptop since January so bare with me lol*

You could feel the warm wetness running down the side of your neck as you sat pinned at a weird angle. There was a sharp and hot pain every time you took a breath as you tried to remember where you were. What was the last thing you did? You couldn't remember getting in the bronco. Didnt remember driving away from the house. All you could remember was fighting with Bradley. 

“Why would you say that to him Brad?! You know how devastated he was when Goose died! You're not the only person that hurt Rooster! FUCK!” You slammed your hands down onto the counter, having a hard time even looking at your husband. While you and your dad were not close, you never blamed him for what happened with Goose. Sure you blamed him for the short break up between you and Bradley as young adults but clearly that was in the past. All you wanted now was for them to figure it out, you wanted to be a family, have a family. But now as Bradley stood here looking at you the same way he looks at Mav.. You were questioning things..

You hadn't even noticed that you called him Rooster.. A thing that just started after the move back to Fightertown. Because you had always known Bradley, he wasn't Rooster too you.. But every night when he came home, a little more mad, and a little more distant, your Bradley was being replaced by Rooster. The aviator who was the best of the best, who was part of the 1%. But was also the aviator who had taken the anger and trauma Bradley had and used it to mold himself. 

“No one to mourn you when you burn in… Really Bradley, because last time I checked, I am the one and only emergency contact for BOTH OF YOU!”

That if your rattled brain could remember correctly was the spark that lit the match. You and Bradley did not fight often, but when you did it was explosive. The kind of fights that left people in tears, the kind that led to words that should've been left unspoken. One of you always ended up on the couch for a few hours, normally both in tears until one of you couldnt take it anymore. Tonight was the first night that one of you actually left. 

You didn't even know which part it was that pushed Bradley over the edge. Was it you telling him you couldn't have kids with him if he couldn't get his anger under better control? That you refused to keep Mavs grandkids from him one day over some pulled papers? Was it when you said that you had sacrificed enough to be with him, that you had to draw the line? Was it when you told him Goose and Carol would be disappointed in how he treated Mav today? 

No matter what it was, the words he spoke as he left stung enough to leave you standing in the same spot for at least 30 minutes after he left. When you blinked and everything caught up with you, you realized the quietness of the house was turning your stomach. Without thinking you slipped shoes on and grabbed your keys. Originally you wanted to just drive your jeep around, clear your head since Bradley had just taken the doors and top off. But when you noticed the bronco still in the drive you couldn't resist being just a little close to Bradley. 

That's how two hours later you ended up driving down some road next to some beach. Honestly at this point you weren't even sure where you were. All you could think about was how hard you were crying as Tim McGraw and Tswift came on. Highway don't care, it seemed poetic, if a song was ever written for the aftermath of this fight, it was this one. When it ended, you had decided it was past time to call Bradley, to find out where he was and at least get you both home. Unfortunately you accidentally knocked your phone out of the old cup holder and onto the passenger floor. One last attempt to save it before it flew out the open door was made. 

You should've let it fly out the door. Because as you stretched across the cab, a car full of intoxicated teenagers came down the middle of the road. You could've sworn you heard someone yell your name as you sat straight up, jerking the wheel way too harshly in your panic to try and miss them. You desperately tried to keep control of the bronco as you skid sideways, unable to get control before it flipped down the side of the bank. 

That's where you were now, wondering how much more Bradley would hate you for crashing his late fathers baby. In your concussed mind, this would be the feather that shattered your relationship. The nail in the proverbial coffin. Part of you registered how long you had been hanging sideways in your seat, the truck having stopped on the passenger side after flipping a few times. You registered that you were struggling to breathe, and definitely were bleeding. You didn't hear any sirens, knew that the teens had not stopped. But thankfully, as one Amelia Benjamin, was dropped off at home her conscience overran her fear of being in trouble. 

So she told her mother and her boyfriend how she had been out drinking. How there had been a vehicle, one she swore she knew, that ended up off the road and she couldn't get anyone to stop. The two adults reassured her that while she was in trouble, she made a good choice in telling them. That maybe she saved someone's life. Little did they know how closely this would hit their little family. 

~~

Jake was over Bradley, the new found friendship they had was great. But it was two in the morning, and Jake honestly just didn't get it. He couldn't imagine having a lifelong love. A childhood best friend turned into the love of his life. So he couldn't wrap his brain around why Rooster was sitting in his kitchen right now. He also couldn't figure out who Rooster was mad at, himself or you? He told him as much and was surprised and worried when big brown eyes lifted from the floor with tears in them. 

“Myself, I think.” Roosters voice croaked “Because she's right ya know.. How can I ask her to give me a family when I cant even be nice to her dad? You know I didn't even ask for his blessing? Not because I thought he would say no, but because I thought it would be a slap in the face to him.. I've always used her as a way to hurt him..” Rooster broke off in a sob. It hurt Hangman's heart to see how hard of a time his wingman was having. But if he knew you, and he felt like he did, you were going through it worse. 

Taking a deep breath he pushed off his counter, annoyed that he was pulling his boots on with his impromptu sweat pants and grabbing his truck keys. Roosters watery eyes followed him before he jumped from his stool, understanding what was happening. When the two were finally in the truck Jake spoke, “Look Bradshaw, I know we aren't great friends or whatever, but I'm gonna tell you something that's gonna suck to hear.” Without looking he clicked the radio off before he continued. “Y/n.. She's a once in a lifetime kinda woman. The kind that will put up with just about anything to make things work. But once she draws a line in the sand, its there forever. Not just for you, but for the next guy too.” 

The hair on Rooster's arms stood on end, not only because of Jakes words but he swore he heard another male voice whisper his name. “What do you mean.. The next guy..” Jake scoffed at how soft and confused Rooster's words were. “My man.. Do you think she will stick around if the one thing she asks of you, is something you refuse to do? She has already given up her father walking her down the aisle.. He wasn't even at the wedding right? She's moved all over to be with you. The only long term roots she has are from when she lived with you as a kid. When was the last time she asked something big of you?” 

Rooster couldn't recall, causing Jake to just sigh and shake his head “I'm telling you this as your friend.. Fix this.. Because I wont fuck up where Maverick is concerned” Jake smirked at Bradley as they pulled into the driveway of your shared home. Rooster was practically out of the truck before it was in park, neither of them registering that the Bronco was gone. Jake watched as Bradley yelled your name, panicking more and more as he cleared each room. When he made it back to the living room he was already pulling his phone out. His thumb didn't even hesitate to click the call button as he tried to get ahold of you. 

He called over and over again, not knowing that you were watching as your phone buzzed just a few feet from the car. You could swear you saw a man who looked just like Bradley walk up to the Bronco and give you a sad smile. Your eyes closed just as the bright blue and red lights started flashing close enough to illuminate your accident. Your last thought about how Bradley would get what he wanted. What his final sentence had been to you, come to life.. It just cost him the Bronco. 

~~~

The ER was nuts on a good night, but tonight a Nurse named Layla was panicking. She had only met you a few times, being one of Hangman's regulars. At first, when she heard the explanation of the vehicle she was sure it was a Bradshaw, but unfortunately there was no IDS in the car and the police in the rush of trying to save you, had missed your phone. It wasn't until she rushed into the room to help with the CPR rotation that she knew it was you. Your hair was matted back with blood, the number of cuts and bruises amazed her. She was even more amazed that the tattoo on your hip was untouched. The one of a rooster with aviators on, the one that had confirmed who you were. 

Quickly announcing that she knew who you were she ran from the room. Slipping sideways as she tried to open her employee locker. She had never dialed Jake's number so quickly. 

Jake felt sick after he hung up. He was thankful for Layla, honestly he had always really liked her and this made him feel like he needed to take the whole thing with her seriously. But as he looked at Bradley, who was practically hyperventilating he didn't know how he was going to get him to the hospital. Layla had told him it was bad, bad enough that she didn't know if you were going to make it. Hangman heard the words come out of his mouth before he could stop them. They were harsh and he wanted to take the way he said it back almost immediately. “Bradshaw, looks like I found your wife.. She's in the hospital.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bradleys entire world came crashing down in a matter of nanoseconds. He kept trying to say what by only the wh would come out. He could see Jake's mouth moving as he ushered him back to the truck, and could comprehend that he was on the phone with Mav. But he couldn't grasp anything. 

Well that is until the last interaction he had with his wife, the wife who was currently dying, played in his head. The one where he stormed out, didn't tell her he loved her. Didn't give her a kiss. Just said words that want to make him vomit now. Jake didn't fully hear him the first time he spoke, but when he asked Rooster to repeat himself, it took a lot of self control to not hit the man. 

“My last words to her.. They were that I'd probably be better off without any of the Mitchells..”

Bradley's mouth tasted sour, his whole body weighed down as he cried silently. Thinking about how much he would hate himself if he couldn't make this right. What if you left him after this? Would you move in the Mav? Get with someone like Jake? God he doesn't think he could watch it. Doesn't think he could handle you even packing an overnight bag to be away from him for a night. Why did he always let this happen? 

Why does he always let his anger just blurt out, why does he always take it out on you? When Mav had pulled his papers? It had been you he left. When his mom passed and you were trying to clean the house up for the wake.. It had been you he screamed at, even you whose head was right next to the wall he threw her favorite coffee cup into. But he only ever remembered the parts he liked. The memories where you held him while he cried and tried to pick up the pieces of that cup. Where he found a replacement in the cupboard a few days later. The parts of your story that made him feel loved. Like when he showed up at UVA, standing on your townhouse step with a duffle bag, sad eyes and apologies. It had been pouring rain, you had made him beg on his knees on the front porch before letting him in. 

He didn't hear any of Jake's words on the drive, and was out of the car even sooner this time. His feet eat up the distance between him and the front desk attendant. When they tell him you're still unstable and he will have to wait, he almost passes out. Once again Jake leads him to a seat. He doesn't register anything that doesn't have to do with you. He barely notices as the other members of the squad show up. Maverick kneels in front of him trying to catch his eye. But when he does, Bradley loses it. The tears that have been silently streaming down his face are now coming out in full sobs. Bradley keeps apologizing over and over, for not treating his daughter the way he should have. For what he said, for how long he has let this go on. It's like sad but relieving word vomit. 

Once Bradleys done, he moves on to reassuring an equally distressed Amelia. Who crying and sobs every word out as she explains to someone she looks at like a big brother, what happened. Bradleys not mad at her, hes not even mad at her friends. He's mad at himself, because had he grown up sooner, had he not been the reason for this fight, you wouldn't have been out on the road anyways. You would've been at home, wrapped up in his arms watching trash tv before having sex and falling asleep. He put you here, he knows that. 

When Layla comes out and says a soft hi, it breaks her heart and fills it to see the entire group here. She's surprised when Jake comes and hugs her, kissing the top of her head and thanking her profusely. She spoke as frankly and kindly as she could. “It was touch and go for a while. We lost her a few times.. She was unconscious when the cops found her.. She's got a long road ahead of her. Collapsed lung, small brain bleed, lots of bruises and a handful of broken bones. She's stable for now, but I don't really have good news yet. The first 24 hours are crucial.” 

All Bradley could hear as Layla led him and Maverick down the hall was that you had died.. Multiple times. He heard Mav gasp slightly as he entered the room, and it was like glue that forced Bradleys feet to stay in place. Layla paused as your dad walked towards you and turned to your husband. “I know this is hard Rooster.. But Y/ns a fighter.. She fought hard while in the Bronco, fought harder in the ambulance and here to stay with you.. But now she needs you..” Layla squeezed his arm as he took the small step to the doorway. 

The scene in front of him was nothing like in the movies. Ones where they show someone who was ‘in an accident’ but is barely bruised up. No, because the woman laying before him couldn't be his wife. Your skin was grayish, instead of the healthy tan glow you had developed under the Cali sun. The multiple leads and wires you had on you helping to sustain your life made him sick. A collar around your neck to keep your head stable. There were gashes across your beautiful face, and bruises on every inch of skin he could see. He knew the next moment he had with you would be make it or break it. You would either wake up, and be happy to see him.. Or you would wake up and ask him to leave.. 

Now all he could do.. Was wait. 

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[mysillytdsideblog]

My headcanons for mike & co

Vito

Co-host w/ Mike from ages 14-16

Mentally 18-19 ish

System big brother

Handles a lot of the family issues

The one who steps up fr

Sexual Protector Alter

Trauma Holder, but doesnt have a full picture of their trauma

Sexualizes self for attention

Just a cool guy if u get to know him

Wishes he was more built irl lol

He was the one dating their first girlfriend

She didnt know about their DID, both Mike and Vito would rather keep that private

Wants a normal life

Also held down their first job (semi-canon)

He gives a shit but can be emotionally reserved

He doesn’t hate Mal, he just finds him frustrating

A bit of a troublemaker but not out of wanting bad for the system, it’s just the way he is

Creeped out by Mal, thats why he doesn’t like him

Secretly holds grudges but doesn’t tell them unless he’s picking a fight

Kinda a pothead

Chester

Mentally 60s-70s

No specific trauma memories, but he was split from trauma

Has never been the host but he switches in quite often

One of the first alters to have been discovered by their psych

At first the psych thought they were faking just cause of how theatrical Chester was, and how much it annoyed Mal

The psych thought they were faking to get out of juvie

Not to help, Mal said it was a “voice in his head” and would talk to him out loud, not caring who heard

He’s not an introject, but they don’t know why he’s old

He just is who he is

They don’t know why he has a scar over his eye, they presume there’s a trauma reason for it but nobody has any memory of something bad happening to their eye

He feels like he’s a grandfather to Mike, but the feeling’s not reciprocated

Not yet at least

Mike learns to love him

He gets annoyed by Chester still but he finds him more endearing

He likes his hot beverages and pastries

And yelling at the tv

He finds commenting on everything so entertaining

He’s co-con 80% of the time

He finds fronting to be physically exhausting, like it makes him physically feel his age

Has chronic pain in his hips and joints, his psych says it’s phantom pain

He loves his psych, he could go on for hours

He loves little kitty cats! There has never been a cat he couldn’t pet

He wishes he was more welcome when visiting nursing homes, he feels lonely but they don’t like his “portrayal” of an old man

He had gotten kicked out before

Actually, he gets kicked out of places quite often

He has health anxiety and constantly thinks he’s going to fall ill and die

His doctor is so fed up

He believes so many wives tales and basically you can tell him anything and he will believe you (unless he’s in a mood, then he’s just going to shout at you)

Mal

Ambigious early childhood to age 13 host

Mentally shifts between 13 to 17

Persecutor/Protector

Mainly a physical protector, kind of the mind’s back up plan for when things get rough and he needs to protect himself or take action

Holds most of the memory of the physical abuse

Split directly for that reason

He was one of the first

Hates his parents and tries to cause problems as a revenge for all the abuse he endured

Sadistic for this reason

He knew from a very young age that nobody was coming to save him, and they never did

Telling all the trauma he knew about in a court ordered psychiatric evaluation was the main reason he got diagnosed, but he was hoping it was going to put his parents in prison

It didnt

He was originally going to be diagnosed with ASPD before they scrapped that for just a DID diagnosis, mainly because his symptoms were too mixed and inconsistent due to the other alters existing

He still agrees ASPD fits him though and after TDAS he does more specific treatments for it in therapy

They do get diagnosed with ODD though

Basically everyone but Svetlana shows symptoms for it

Mal has it the worst because he has so much pent up hatred from everyone who hurt or failed him

And he only gets the bare minimum when he takes it into his own hands, but its better than nothing

Really clashed with Zoey at first but he was the one to make her understand them more, in his own roundabout way

Actually became close friends with Zoey even if they have their conflicts

Mike

Same age as body

Kinda bigender tbh but he’s not ready for that

Thinks he should be the one to call all the shots because he thinks hes the original

Hes not, there is none

Doesn’t have a lot of childhood memories

Nobody tells him about their trauma

Besides Mal when he’s trying to prove a point

He hates Mal because Mal threatens his sense of control

He overcompensates, being a system scares him so if he’s in charge he will be able to make sure everything’s ok

Just finally coming out of denial, still half in it

He hates being a system

Rude to his alters!!!

After All Stars, he sees his psych again who scolds him

And teaches him to accept his disorder

He does better

He compromises more, he learns that his alters are people too, he adapts to his multiplicity and eventually is the key to achieving functionality between all of them

He struggles to accept Mal, because of his persecutory nature, but he learns why Mal does what he does and with a little work from them both they are able to compromise

Mal has to grow and learn too don’t get me wrong

Svetlana

Same age as body

Transbian

Doesn’t mind being a system tbh

She likes the company

Hosts for short periods but only for upcoming competitions really because its hard for her to pretend to be a singlet

She doesn’t like hiding who she is, she’s way more open about her DID than the others are

She wishes she has more girl friends to talk with but they all know her as mike or mal :(

Total sporty girl she is multi talented in soooo many sports

Gymnastics is her fav obv

Why she has an accent? Who knows? Possibly an introject or maybe shes just like that but as far back as they remember she was there

They are all confused

Has good childhood memories, trauma free

She definitely loved recess and fronted a lot during the school years

Loves making friends, shes very social and kind!!

She’s also the most understanding and gives the best advice

Very emotional and it can be quite theatrical, on par with chester

She’s the one who gets along the most with their parents

Picky eater

She likes to eat clean and hates that the other alters eat meat because she finds it soooo gross

Has her own separate drawer in their dresser for her clothes

Bird lover and has owned pet birds before

Manitoba

Introject, half indiana jones-half steve irwin

Not a fusion he was just made like that

30s-40s

The most recent split

Has a fleshed out part of the interworld including NPCs (like his wife) and spends most of his time there (semi-canon)

He doesn’t prefer to front, he just found total drama fun to compete in

Dreams of traveling the world

Really longs for his innerworld to be real

Tries to keep everyone in line

Wishes they would be less trouble

He doesn’t side with anyone, which makes Mike very angry but he can also see a side to Mal that Mike can’t

He’s the most logical and level headed one

Loves collecting things especially memorabilia from places he’s been

He knows so many animal facts and just general knowledge

It makes Mike feel stupid cause he doesn’t know all that but its in his brain, it confused him how that works still

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the AH for calling my brother a drug addled cunt?

My brother (26) has had a drug problem for over a decade now; meth, heroin, booze- if it exists my brother has done it multiple times. He recently came out of sober living again and my mom (46) is letting him live with us.

My mother set the condition that as long as he doesn't do drugs he can live with us and I was extremely wary but it is her house so I said fine. However he was sneaking alcohol and weed into the house and I (19) kept finding it and giving it to my mom. She would throw it away but in a couple of days I'd find a new bottle or container and the cycle would continue.

I recognize that weed and alcohol are legal in my state however I believe that someone with addiction issues (especially concerning weed and alcohol) should not partake and my mom agrees with that sentiment. However, at the end of her rope (i.e. not wanting to kick out her son but also struggling with trauma from having an addict father), she struck a deal with him that he could smoke weed as long as he 1.) didn't drink at all, 2.) Kept to himself when he was high, and 3.) Didn't drive the car whilst high.

As soon as she said that he was out the door to the dispensary and has been high from the moment he wakes up til the moment that he goes to bed. He completely disregards the second rule of not being high around us and drives the car high.

Tonight me and my mother were standing in the living room talking. He just got off his shift and was at the door struggling with the lock. He then stumbled inside so my mom made him empty out his pockets and he had weed after only going to work and coming straight back (he didnt stop at a dispensary).

My mother stated that since he was high he couldn't drive her car anymore and he stated that he wasn't high whilst smiling the whole time (which is his tell). My mom stood her ground and it seemed like the end of it so she went out for a cig, I went to my bed, and he went to the couch.

Several minutes later I hear yelling coming from the living room so I stand by my door listening (they're fighting about my moms car again) and it starts to get louder so I leave my room and stand behind my mom incase he starts to get violent.

She is telling him how dangerous it is that he is high at his job where he uses heavy machinery. He states that everyone does it so it doesnt matter. She responds by saying "you're not them so you don't have to do what they do." Somewhere along the lines she calls him a punk and he calls her a power tripping bitch. I don't even notice her call him a punk because I am honed in on every little move he makes just incase however I do notice what he says so I chime in with "don't talk to my mother that way."

He tells me to fuck off and that it's none of my business so I respond with "that's my mother, it is my buisness." He then says "she called me a punk first," so I said that "she should have called you a drug addled cunt."

My mom told me calmly to go back to my room which I did because I recognized that the amount of rage and fear coursing through my body causing me to shake like a chihuahua wasn't going to do anything beneficial.

They both quieted down and the fight ended immediately after that though. My reaction was a build up after years and years of trauma that he has brought into my life however I do recognize that what I said was out of left field. Most likely a TA or at least ESH but I'd like someone else's opinion! (If yall would like a list of the most memorable stuff that he has done to me since I was young for context I can type that out for you as well).

What are these acronyms?

[luneariann]

Bsd headcanons!

- Kouyou, 27 yr as of current canon

- Kouyou started dressing in traditional clothing in an effort to seem older/inspire more respect when she first became an executive, and it stuck. now instructs all the people under her wing to do the same

- Actually a huge fan of romance novels, Chuuya started reading them cuz of her

- Tea snob

- WILL judge you to your face in the most convoluted language, you will only realize you were insulted in like three business days

- She has freckles but she covers them up w makeup, Yosano loves them

- Yosano, 27 yr old

- When she was first adopted by Fukuzawa she tried doing things she thought kids her age did in an effort to feel more "normal" it didn't rly work

- Has won scariest ADA member four years in a row, shes both very proud of that title and very protective of it, actively does scarier shit once the elections come back around each year

- Wine snob!

- Veryyy blunt, she got it from Ranpo (Fukuzawa would call him a bad influence except he theyre both saying what hes thinking so)

- Dazai, 26

- Has tried to be a plant dad to win a bet w Ranpo, failed miserably, none of his plants are alive but theyre all lovingly named anyway, he talks to their decomposing corpses sometimes

- The worst fashion sense known to man, he KNOWS how to dress he just makes the active choice to dress like a bowling alley carpet when given the chance

- When Atsushi made him a friendship bracelet and he had to be excused to go to the bathroom and compose himself

- Hes Yokohamas local cryptid

- Chuuya, 26

- Loves romance novels, its his greatest secret

- Dazai gave him a bunch of plants as a surprise gift during his brief plant dad phase, he frantically learned everything he could abt them so he could take care of them properly

- He cuts his own hair, yes it is uneven on purpose, he thinks he looks cool (he does, but only because hes Chuuya so he can pull off literally anything) (yes i am biased why do you ask)

- Fantastic cook

- Piercings <333 he would get a tattoo but he doesnt rly do well with needles (cough trauma cough)

- Atsushi, 18

- Had a "sleepover" with Kyouka when he realized neither of them had ever had one, it was great they did eachothers nails and watched romcoms together, Kyouka decided she didnt really like them but Atsushi did so they watched them anyways

- Made everyone friendship bracelets one time on said "sleepover"!

- ALSO has an atrocious fashion sense, its Dazais influence <//3

- Kyouka has made it her personal mission to fix his haircut over time (he cuts his hair with kitchen scissors, she was horrified when she saw)

- Akutagawa, 19

- a full on trad goth, he goes simple for work tho

- Hes a gatekeeper, sorry yall </3

- Carries around an umbrella in the sunlight cuz he burns rly rly easily

- Gets cold REALLY easily too

- The most socially inept man you will ever meet, Gin had to cover for him A LOT when they were children

- When he first realized he felt something for Atsushi he not only did not realize that his heart speeding up around him was a crush thing, but thought it was excitement for a fight, so he just ended up challenging him to an absurd amount of fights, going as far as to go to the ADA to pick fights

[crazylittlejester]

Time for some happy/fluffy headcannons since I can :3

Sky sees all the Zeldas as his daughters since he and Sun created the royal lineage. No matter how distant, they are his and Sun's children no matter what. (Some of the Zeldas who didn't have good relationships with their dads *cough* Flora *cough* nearly sob in joy because of this). Also, the Zeldas get their prophetic dreams from him too.

Legend's nose does that cute twitching that rabbits do. It makes him so flustered whenever anybody points it out.

Four, if he were to ever met any of the Gerudo, would be highly respected by them despite his height. He is short, yes, but he is very strong, intelligent and can make his own weapons. He'd probably have to fight off suitors if he ever went to Wild's Gerudo Town, tbh.

Everybody from Ordon is blessed by Ordona, and they have square pupils like goats do because of this. Despite being Hylian, and not being born in Ordon like the others, Twilight was also blessed and later in life developed these same pupils. He loves them despite how creepy everybody else thinks they are.

Time actually gained a little weight after marrying Malon because he felt safe enough to do so. He always made himself stay at top shape in case he had to go on another quest, so when he didn't immediately get thrown into one he got a little meat on his bones. He didnt look like a skeleton anymore. Malon was happy he did, since he was always thin even as a child.

Warriors knits and sews and Proxy has a small hat he made with an itty-bitty pompom on top.

Wind is scared of lighting storms due to a bad sailing trip after his adventure, and Sky tries to comfort him despite also being terrified of lighting himself.

Wild's mother was a piece of Farore's spirit traveling Hyrule as a mortal, and fell deeply in love with his father. Both Wild and his sister are considered forest spirits, and his sister actually became a korok after her mortal body died. The first korok he ever finds is his sister :)

Hyrule really likes the non hostile Zora whenever they visit them, and he learned how to swim from them.

None of the Links can hold their alcohol. One drink and they are all tipsy beyond belief. Except Wind, he can take two drinks before he also is drunk off his rocker.

YAY FLUFFY HEADCANONS (god knows i need more of these after the obnoxiously sad headcanons i have)

- This is so cute actually, I can totally see Sky and Flora becoming close

- Legend 100% does that, I also headcanon he hops when he gets really excited

- OKAY THE ORDONA GOAT EYE THING IS ACTUALLY SO COOL??? THATS AN EPIC HEADCANON

- My favorite thing ever in fiction is when characters start to look physically happy and healthy as they recover from trauma, and I write a lot of this happening to Wars (because I gave him horrible food anxiety and write about how he’s been able to work over that and become a lot healthier and happier) and I can see this happening to Time too

- WARRIORS KNITS IS REAL. REAL AND TRUE. YOURE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY SO!! I can see him making sweaters for everyone

- Wind and Sky and Legend all being unnerved by storms 🤝

- I think it’d be hilarious if they couldn’t hold their alcohol and Wind could out drink them, but whenever I write these guys I always give them at least a couple instances where Twi gets a good few beers and Wars gets his wine. I don’t think Time would drink, not because he wants to be the responsible adult, but because he just doesn’t drink

[rosinaparker]

would u guys write any angsty headcanons for the sbg characters?

Angsty Sbg Headcannons

ABSOLUTELY. -✩

Genre: Angst

Warnings: depression, anxiety, sleep paralysis, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, attempting, attachment issues, eating disorder, hallucinations, trauma, trauma dumping, violence, panic(attacks), body dysmorphia, guns, paranoia, masking

A/n: this shit was hard to write(and my first time)

My sweet little babys, god they're so exhausted it's insane

(not sure how to start but imma try best fr)

Ash

After an exhausting night, fighting the phantoms, she kinda lays there in bed numb

Loses her appetite often

Develops an eating disorder

Even ballet didn't get her mind off of those awful creatures

Definitely gets sleep paralysis of the phantoms after finally escaping the realm

Taylor

Terrified to sleep alone at night

Cant focus

Sometimes gets little visions of her friends getting attacked and absolutely doesn't let them off her sight

Crys to herself in the bathroom, so that tyler doesn't hear

After tyler dying (and reviving fr) she became way more anxious about his well being

Attachment issues

Tyler

Has nightmares about how he dies

Develops insomnia

Hallucinates. That includes: voices, screams from a distance and shadows

Cant properly eat after the tree accident..his literal organs got impaled

Throws up just thinking about it.

He always wondered how it would feel like to die but never excepted it to be in that way

Developed trauma, everytime he's in a car and it's driving on a highway, he starts panicking and taylor has to grab his hand to ground him

Has gotten so paranoid about taylor that he doesn't even let her leave the room without him.

Ben

Has trouble breathing when he remembers certain situations

Panic attacks

Has nightmares about his friends dying

Wakes up in panic, even if he didnt dream anything bad

Punches the wall when he gets mad, til his knuckles start to bleed

Gets depressive episodes

Aiden

Even though he had suicidal thoughts, he didnt end it all, just because the phantom realm gave him the adrenaline

Accidentally trauma dumps on the others and goes on with his day

Has attempted.

Everytime he tears up, he slaps himself across the face

Masks his emotions

When he gets anxious, he starts scratching his skin off

Hates his appearance.

Logan

Feels weaker then everyone else

Insecure

Everytime he holds a gun, his intrusive thoughts come running

Has thought of shooting himself, just by holding said gun

Has become apathetic

Way more aggressive

Feels useless without a gun

-Rose✩

[lnkedmyheart]

See, I have no doubt that Chuuya has found people he cares about and who care about him in the mafia. And the guy is definitely doing well for himself. But why do people act like Chuuya is super great psychologically in the mafia? Why is the angst of being in the mafia extended to literally everyone BUT him?

Koyou tried to leave and stayed back after her partner was murdered. Dazai was depressed and spiralling and left when his friend died, Akutagawa was forced into the mafia to protect himself and his sister and is now dealing with the trauma of Dazai's mistreatment. Kyoka was a child who was forced to kill at 14 and left because she met Atsushi. Even Mori didnt take on the role of the leader cause he wanted to but because he needed to so that he could fix the damage caused to the city and the organization by the last boss and is now deeply isolated. So why do people act like Chuuya isn't in a bad situation?

Chuuya is literally the character that makes the best out of a bad situation. He clearly did not want to join the mafia in 15 and did not want to stay with the mafia in sb. But where the hell is he supposed to go? He has the closest thing to a family and loved ones in the mafia, he is loyal to a fault, he is tied to the mafia by his connection to the flags who wanted him to be the future leader, his ticket out was murdered by his self proclaimed brother, he is dead to his real family, he is a dangerous government experiment who will most likely be captured and imprisoned if he lost the mafia's protection, the death of his men constantly weighs down on him. He was forced to kill to protect the sheep and he was forced to kill to survive in the mafia. So the guy enjoys his job cause that's literally all he has ever known. But we out here acting like he is the only one who wasn't negatively affected by the mafia??

Bro is just mad skilled at compartmentalizing and tossing away the key and at some point the doors will not be able to keep that trauma in.

Ofcourse i am not gonna sit here and insist he hates it there because that is his family and those are his people and he has always been a boisterous kid who enjoys a good fight as long as the people being maimed or killed are those who try to hurt people he cares about. But not once has Chuuya hated someone for coming after him specifically.

Chuuya's trauma isn't linked to Dazai leaving him behind, he has a lot of it in general. And i need something to happen. And i feel like him snapping would just be so cathartic.

[dontworryihaveyourblorbos]

Fuck it, King Peppy analysis.

I see a *lot* of Peppy hate, and I get it, but I also have to break my silence. I really do not think he’s as bad as people say he is. In fact, I kind of like him! “But he lied about the strings!” “But he didnt rescue the snack pack!” “But he lied about Viva!”. And to that I say ladies and gentlemen, let me cook.

1. He lied about the strings. OF COURSE he did. Peppy knew three things: one, like Branch said, the strings coming together leads to fighting. Two, if Poppy knew there were other trolls, she’d immediately apply the cupcakes and rainbows and hugs method until they were besties. Three, the strings and ensuing fight+whatever Poppy was cooking would be too much for the tiny tiny Pop troll population to handle. They can’t fight, so they do what pop trolls do best, hide. That’s exactly what Peppy was trying to do. Next.

2. He didn’t go to rescue the snack pack in the first movie. First of all, mans is ancient. Second, someone needed to stay behind and watch the villagers while they were in Branch’s bunker. He’s not built for long ass physically intensive adventures, but he can run a village and hold authority and keep everything from being trashed completely, which he did. We can safely assume that the bunker was fine after the first movie and not completely destroyed, likely thanks to Peppy. If he hadn’t stayed behind and kept everyone in check, the place would have been uninhabitable. But nah, Peppy kept everyone safe and stable. Hell yeah brother.

3. He lied about Viva. Can you imagine how devastated Poppy would be to learn that she has a sister, only for that joy to be crushed when he has to tell her that said sister is dead? Poppy wouldn’t be able to let it go, especially with her longing to have a sister. Why make her mourn someone she doesn’t know when she doesn’t have to? Why give her that trauma when she, in all reality, is fine not knowing? Because even if it was messed up because she found out, before she found out Viva was alive she was…completely fine. And he said it himself, he was heartbroken. Pop trolls don’t process their feelings, they repress and sing a happy song a little louder than usual. How was Peppy supposed to heal from his own loss and sadness, only to then turn and inflict it on his only remaining daughter, while still in survival mode? He couldn’t. So he didn’t.

Look, I’m not saying King Peppy is perfect or that he didn’t make mistakes. I’m just saying that he did his best, and he’s not a bad character, person, or dad. He raised Poppy to be the amazing Queen she is, he brought his people out of a horrific and dangerous situation and kept them safe, and when he couldn’t protect them anymore he knew his limits and passed the torch on to his daughter while still supporting her, and he went to therapy and began to change his mindsets and heal from everything. He’s definitely not as bad as some people say he is.

One last thing I noticed about him while rewatching TBT. When a Pop Troll is happy, consistently, their ears stay pointed upwards. When a Troll is sad, their ears droop down. And if they’re sad or gray for long enough, their ears droop down permanently. (Cough cough see my Floyd and Branch ear post cough cough.)

Peppy’s ears are the only ones that just…stick out flat. Forgive me, I couldn’t find any good screenshots from tbt.

Not sad, not happy. To me, this means repressed. He wasn’t just chilling in the background like teehee I’ve made no mistakes ever :3. No, he didn’t like that he had to do those things. He had major trauma and probably a ton of issues he was hiding or repressing, and is only just now beginning to work through them. Why only now? Because he’s not in survival mode anymore. Poppy is queen, strings are destroyed, bergens are chilling, okay, now he can begin the healing process.

Sorry for the novel, but I just really like Peppy and I think a lot of people don’t cut him enough slack or give him enough credit. He’s doin his best.

[itsss4t4n]

Helloo!! Could you write Gn!reader x Ethan Nakamura headcanons where they go from enemies to lovers? Not only that but reader is still in CHB which is why they're enemies at first. Don't be afraid to fully put all your thoughts, I'd love to hear them! 🫶 Thank you so much.

a/n: Sorry that this took so long to write. For some reason writing headcannons is way harder for me than actual fics. I still hope you enjoy them <33

warnings: none, light mention of bullying (barely really), mention of family issues and trauma (no detail or description just that he has it), my headcannons are bad

- i think until the battle of new york they only knew about ethan from waht percy and annabeth told them. 

- knowing his reasonings they probably felt kind of sorry for him but it wasnt enough to make it okay in their eyes.

-during the battle they fought each other at least once and they recognized him because of the eyepatch.

-when ethan somehow survives the final fight with kronos and is at camp again, they are still really wary of him.

-ethan honestly is trying to redeem himself and is helping in camp whereever he can.

-at some point they are sparring together and get to talking, and realize that they have a lot in common, and ethan explains a little more  why he joined kronos and about his past, etc.

-i feel like when you are finally civil with each other you would become friend pretty quickly

-he feels like he can actually trust you, especially if are also a child of a minor god, because you can understand his feelings pretty well

-at some point you develop feelings for each other but both of you are oblivious idiots and need some talking to from each of your friends to realize it.

-you think your friendship is already to fragile because of how it came to be, so you dont want to risk it by telling him about your feelings.

-it kind of slips out when one of you gets hurt during capture the flag.

-now onto your relationship:

-honestly you fit realy great together, weither you are really similar and kind of scary when you're together or you're polar opposites, somehow it just makes sense.

-being a son of nemesis he would probably take revenge on anyone that is mean to you because you didnt deserve it.

-i feel like he would be kind of scared of intimicy and especially PDA at first, but after some time he gets more used to it.

-at that point he would seek out physical contact with you. Holding your hand, having his arm around your shoulder or waist, just anything to touch you.

-i also think he has severe abonment issues so that also plays a part in the touching. he is constantly trying to make sure that you dont leave him.

- he loves hugs, hug him. The first time you did, he almost cried because it had been so long.

-hes got so many issues and so much rauma honestly just help that man

-he loves kisses

-kiss him

-go on

[alilaro]

I have some Thoughts on Evangelion, and I'm hyperfixating right now, so here's a massive info-dump on it. Thank you and I'm sorry.

(trigger warnings for: child abuse, child death, gore mention, pedophilia, mental health, depression, suicide, and potentially more.)

———————————————→

So, my take on the End Of Evangelion is like a 'Worst Timeline AU.' So what would've happened if Shinji had given into the crippling (justified) trauma and deepest depression of an abused, manipulated, and unfathomably damaged child soldier.

The way Misato constantly screams at him throughout the entire series to 'be a man' and pressures him to get into the EVA and fight literal biblical, kaiju-like angels.

The pressure of trying and failing to get a crumb of praise or approval from his neglectful and spiteful father.

The way people (and fans, tbh) get upset with him for constantly changing his mind. How if he doesn't pilot the EVA, either he or his friends could die. The pressure every adult puts on him. Or again, the absolute cosmic terror of just seeing—let alone having to murder these angels.

Of course, he quits all the time, he's 14. He's a child. An average adult with all the combat training in the world would easily do the same.

Yet he comes back again and again, because of the guilt, the self-loathing, the manipulation of the adults around him—

(who can have all the greatest intentions in the world, "the greater good", etc etc, and it doesn't change a goddamn thing that they are putting these children into death machines and treating it like if they dont do it they are selfish and worthless)

—that if he doesn't do it, his friends will do it and either they or others will die if it's not him.

Like, the point isn't that he can't make up his mind: it's the fact that even if he "gives up", he still keeps coming back, and putting himself before others, despite the grief, despite the pain, despite the trauma

A fourteen-year-old child refuses to stop getting up and trying. Which I feel is symbolic of the whole shows entire meaning, no matter how dark things are, how much you hurt, how much others hurt you, how you feel like nothing, and you want it all to just stop—the pain, the memories, the guilt, the crushing weight of complete utter depression—even as the darkest envelops you and holds you tight, you feel like you can never escape: there is ALWAYS a way out of it.

It's fucking hard, you will lose yourself in it, you will hurt so, so much—but eventually you can find your way out. Through time, through loved ones, through therapy, and more. It's never too late or someone is too far gone in their own despair that they can't be saved and brought back.

And that's not even mentioning the other children. Fans enjoy Asuka more than Shinji because she's got that quick, snappy, high-energy personality. She's overly proud and stubborn, and she loves to fight in her EVA. And Rei, she's the shy quiet girl (a Kuudere, even (didnt like writing that)) designed to be mysterious, and to speculate over. Who is she? Why is she so calm? Does she have a personality behind that demeanor?

But, just like Shinji, they are all child soldiers, and like him, they are products of trauma and manipulation by adults.

Rei, was made in a fool-hearted attempt to bring back Shinji's mother, Yui Ikari, by combining her remains with Lilith. What they got was Rei. An assimilation of Yui, Lilith, Eva, all combining into Rei Ayanami.

Her creators obviously had attachments to her, both having loved Yui before her death, and Gendo Ikari almost took her on as a daughter-like figure (Rei being the name he would've given to his child Shinji, if he had been born a girl,) and revoltingly even more than that.

But as the theme of the series goes, good intentions from adults mean very little, and often act as nothing more than an excuse for creating/doing inconceivably monstrous acts.

She is of course used as an EVA pilot, being able to manipulate her form into a 14-year-old. She is used as a tool. She is replaceable. She knows this. She has no desires because no one has ever cared enough about Rei as her own person to let her think for herself, asked her what she wants, her likes, her dreams, her fears.

Rei's entire existence at this point is to serve, and in an eerie way, the only thing she wants is to serve Gendo, because he's shown her the only breadcrumbs of "compassion" she's ever known.

And then Shinji comes along. Shinji has no idea what she is, only that she is another EVA pilot like himself. He speaks to her as he would anyone else. He cares about her, and her well-being as another person. Actual true compassion.

In episode 06, when Rei is hurt and thought to have died by Shinji, he pries open the hatch to her EVA, ignoring the scalding heat that burns his hands to do so. He finds her alive and cries, and she smiles for him.

This scene is an exact parallel that takes place before with Rei and Gendo (Shinji's father.) He pries open the hatch, scalding his hands too, and finds her alive inside. It's identical except for one thing: Compassion.

Shinji fights to free and help Rei, and when he sees her alive, he is overcome with relief that she, Rei, is alive. He is in tears, he tells her she isn't nothing, implying her life is worth something and people care about her.

When Gendo does it, he does it like a man trying to save a valuable asset. He sees she's okay, and mutters 'I see', and that's the end of it.

Again, in episode 23, when Rei actually dies and is replaced; she is confronted by herself (the Meta Rei, the Rei in her purest, most godly self. A combination of all her sense of beings,) and realizes that she is feeling, she is lonely, she is suffering, and for the first time she cries, and asks herself if this just for her love of Gendo, before sacrificing herself in death to save everyone—specifically shinji.

She is replaced by her many clones, but this time she regains some of her memories, her feelings, her anger, and she is more human now, less vessel, more soul. She is Rei.

In the End of Evangelion, we see the depths of Gendo's depravity. He wants his wife, Yui, back as she was, of course. But in the meanwhile, there's Rei. Rei who is part Yui—a substitute. He touches her breast, an attempt to merge with her, and moves his hand down further to rest between her hips, inside her.

Rei is as much his daughter figure and a child, as she is a part of his own wife, and arises from this: an Oedipus Complex. Gendo treats her as a disposable tool, yet holds Yui at his highest priority. She is his to do with as she likes. How many times has he used her like this? How many times has he committed these atrocities with this child behind closed doors?

Amongst everything else Rei is, she is also a victim of pedophilia.

And in her final moments, while he attempts to merge with Rei in a delusional attempt to bring back Yui, Rei becomes her own being. Rei puts her foot down and says no. She's had enough.

"I will not be a puppet for you to control."

She takes the hand of Adam, fully merges with Lilith, and becomes a God.

And what does she do with all that power? She takes it all, and gives it to Shinji. The one person that ever consistently showed her care and compassion, showed her love. Made her realize she is her own person, gives her the strength to realize her worth and refuse Gendo Ikari, and choose her own path.

Her choice can be argued as good or bad, both. But in the end it was REI's choice, and no one elses.

Asuka uses her anger and her fighting as a means to cope with a barbaric childhood. Her mother, Kyoko, underwent a Contact Experiment when Asuka would have been ~5 years old.

Kyoko survived, but lost her mind completely, thinking her real daughter was actually a doll, and leaving Asuka completely neglected by her mother, all whilst begging and trying to convince her that SHE was her real daughter, not some doll she clung to.

Meanwhile, her father was completely unaffected by this, and even had moved on with another woman (An affair that had been going on before Kyoko fell apart completely, the woman being Kyoto's doctor, that she knew about, and took place in their own home while both mother and daughter were present.) Throwing himself back into his own life with this new woman, and job, Asuka was left with nothing.

Asuka's mother finally snaps and plans her own suicide. She invites Asuka, and with nothing else and wanting nothing more than to be acknowledged by anyone, agrees to take their lives together.

As if all of this isn't bad enough, as a final blow, Asuka's mother takes her own life without Asuka, leaving a five-year-old CHILD to find her mother hanging lifelessly, betrayed and alone again.

Her entire personality isn't because she's 'cool' or 'bossy', its an unfathomably traumatized child, constantly in pain and unable to trust anyone, because she has been taught as an infant that she can not rely on the people meant to care for her, because her parents taught her that in the most brutal and disturbing way possible.

There's even reference to her trying to repeat her mother's suicide after disappearing from the fight, only to be found gravely injured and withering away in a bathtub.

She fights so hard to be independent because she refuses to let herself be hurt and abandoned again.

At the End of Evangelion, even when she is screaming and crying, bleeding to death after being speared through the eye, losing power, and being cannibalized alive in her EVA, she is still so desperate, so angry, that she refuses to die, swearing vengeance on her enemies through dying rattled breaths, and it isn't until she is bombarded with blades that she finally succumbs. And at the hands of NERV.

Again, she, and every single EVA pilot, is only 14 years old.

tldr: The series is about child trauma, children being turned into soldiers, the failings of adults around them, and the tragically brutal and real aftermath of the wreaks of havoc that would have on a child.

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

I do find it interesting that while thankfully almost everyone is like "both were wrong and both were hurting" that ppl still harp on the "stolas just thought he could dismiss him" when thats not what happened.

Stolas has been nothing but nice to blitz, yes being sexually aggressive (reminder blitz tries to rob him and was the one that made the deal, essentially exploiting stolas's feeling for monetary gain) but has given him plenty og money and help and more importantly kindness.

He knew it was possible that if thry tried he MIGHT be able to win blitz over, but he decides a boundary for himself. After all hes done for blitz all he risked and all the kindness he showered on him (we all remember their date right) if blitz could not even imagine feelings for him TO THE POINT where he didnt at least suspect stolas was being genuine...he didnt want it. And then blitz goes on and TELLs him that he always hated stolas .

Its like....yes stolas could have set different boundaries but that was his choice. Its like how if your husband gets in a fight with you over his mother being an ass. Some people might be ok with their spouse siding with their mother over them so long as they eventually come around. Others would not tolerate that at all. Everyone is different. Stolas has been pining for someone who put zero effort into their "relationship"(remember their texts) and is tired of putting in the effort. He knew maybe if he was more gentle he could convince blitz to give him a chance. But based on his own pain and their months or years of anguish he decided to draw a line in the sand.

Abd people will say "he put blitz on the spot , " 1) it isnt stolas fault that blitz thinks no one could love him, on thr contrary stolas has REPEATEDLY shown his affection which blitz chose to interpret wrong do to his own trauma. 2) blitz coulda said that entire speech, swears includes about how unfair that was without talking shit about him. But blitz did because hes an asshole who pushes ppl away and would rather fight someone than be loved by them.

Both made mistakes yes but blitz didnt just react badly to a shitty coming out. He set it on fire.

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

it’s midnight and i just. i have this stuck in my head.

steve who’s used to every little disagreement turning into a big fight so he snaps/yells at reader and when they don’t return that fight and just kind of shutdown steve panics and feels so so guilty

my love you hit me in the soft spot. i cry so hard whenever anyone even slightly yells at me.

tw: not a lot but i thought id put one to make sure everyones safe <3: bit of a disagreement, reader with vague past relationship trauma if you squint, sensitive reader, anxious reader, oblivious steve, in love steve, steve in general. if anything from above is something you cant handle right now thats perfectly okay and ill see you next time!

steve is very very very gentle. hes calm and collected and mostly rational. so arguments are extremely rare.

but today steve was tired. oh so tired. and he missed you. so much. so when you were being almost silent on the car ride home from the bi-weekly dinner with the kids, robin and eds, he was freaking out.

the waitress was very subtly flirting with him. in a way where only the girls at the table knew what was going on.

of course steve had no interest in her, for gods sake. he didnt even look at her for more than two seconds.

you werent mad at him. no, he handled it very well. he passed all the tests. you were just sad. comparing yourself to the blonde waitress. thinking about how many people want him that you dont even know about. the little voice in your head saying “why does he want you?” and looking for signs of infidelity, coming back emptyhanded as always, shamefully reminding you that hes not your past relationships.

so no you werent mad at him. you were mad at you.

but we all know hes a little bit… slow sometimes. so that doesnt even occur to him.

what if you lost interest in him? what if you think hes annoying? why are you mad at him?

his fears only heightening when you give him a small smile when he opens the front door for you, instantly heading to the kitchen to get some water, hoping itll make you feel better.

“whats your problem tonight?”

oh.

“…what?” and you stare directly down at the countertop because you can already feel yourself tearing up at his tone.

“what do you mean ‘what?’. youve been acting weird since we left.”

he really doesnt mean for it to sound so angry, if you listened a little closer you might be able to hear the desperation in his voice.

“…the waitress”

“what?”

“she was flirting with you.

“what?”

he throws his head back and puts his hands to his face in exasperation. before realizing that youre a little too quiet… and shaking?

his tone brought back memories and fear. fear that he would just find someone else since you were bothering him. and youd be left alone again, but only this time unable to pick up the pieces.

and now hes horrified because he didnt mean to sound angry, he was just frustrated and didnt even think about how sensitive his girl was to things like that.

but you were too far gone now. your ears ringing and your breath escaping you. fighting back tears with every bone in your body, and losing said fight.

and so you turned around to look at him. and your eyes betray you once more. instantly filling with tears that make steves face drop and heart fall.

“m’sorry steve” but your voice falters and breaks before the first sob racks through your body, walking as quickly as you can to his bedroom to clean yourself up.

HES FREAKING OUT SO BAD

he feels absolutely awful. poor man starts crying too, but makes himself stop for his apology, not wanting to scare you further.

following behind you and knocking on his own door.

“babydoll, can i come in?”

youre standing in front of his mirror. eyes puffy and red and shaking. you knew steve wouldnt leave. you knew he wasnt like that. but you were crying anyways, which only made you cry more out of embarrassment.

“…yeah” you call weakly, still not looking up as he opens the door.

his arms are around you instantaneously

“‘m so sorry baby i didnt mean to sound angry, i wasnt thinking. im sorry.”

“its okay, im sorry i-”

“no, you have nothing to be sorry for. you’re allowed to get sad. theres nothing wrong with it, id never judge you for that. i was just being… stupid cause i didnt get it y’know? i mean i literally am horrifyingly in love with you. im like obsessed with you… not in a weird way…. anyways! and i get jealous all the time. like everyday, even over small things. that barista the other day? coulda killed that guy. y’had me studying how to make lattes babe.”

and of course youre giggling. his polo shirt saturated with tears and pure joy.

“i love you so much.”

“i love you most. i know you dont really think id look at anyone but you, right? but if you need confirmation i will go and take back the tip we gave that lady.”

more giggles.

and that was the difference. steve embraced your sensitivity. he loved it actually. loved the way you care about things. love the way you pick up on energies before anyone else. loves everything about you. including some of the not so pretty things.