#because he thinks that term needs to be reclaimed

[vstheworld]

so I may have accidentally thrown a grenade in the new workplace. didn’t know the manager was on his last warning for hr issues and I talked to another manager abt him casually using the f-word with a room full of queers

I feel guilty but I don’t think I should—there’s just some words you don’t use with your subordinates and that one’s up there

[vaspider]

Hi! I’m in my early 20’s and a baby gay and i was wondering if you could help me understand the nuances of a particular issue (or point me towards recourses to find some answers). I’ve heard that as an afab enby i shouldn’t be using the f slur because historically it has been used to attack/demean gay men, but i’ve also seen (mostly on tumblr) a push by the queer community to reclaim the word by any queer identity. I want to be inclusive and intersectional and not insult people to the best of my ability so my question is: can i participate in the reclamation of the f slur or should i leave this word to queer men? (I’m also not clear on wether it’s just cis men, includes trans men/amab folks, etc). You don’t have to answer but thanks for your time regardless!

You can do whatever you want forever.

Seriously, though - whoever is telling you that you can't reclaim a particular slur because that doesn't get used against people like you should come review my history sometime. I've had faggot yelled at me (often out of moving cars or in connection with physical abuse) more times than I can count. They need to talk to Hannah Gadsby, who talks in Nanette about a man who pushed her, thinking she was a faggot and then found out she was a woman, realized she was a "lady faggot" and thus outside his definition of woman and able to be beaten up... so he did.

That kind of "I have decided that people like you haven't been hurt by this so you can't touch this word" cop nonsense is genuinely harmful. We need to bring back the 90s energy of "it takes all of us to take the sting out of a word" where gay men showed up to lesbian marches with "fags for dykes" signs.

This infighting over terms is fucking cop garbage meant to divide us. It's bullshit. If you find strength in calling yourself a fag, a dykefag, a fagdyke, a ladyfag, a girl homo, a lesbo, whatever the fuck, it doesn't fucking matter.

This "no one uses that against people like you" bullshit is just that. Ignore it freely, because it's utter nonsense on many many levels.

[torchwood-99]

"her part seemed to her more ignoble than that of the staff he leaned on"

I love you Gandalf. He just gets it.

The sexism that blighted Eowyn's life, that came from the hands not from enemies but loved ones, reduced her and cut her down to fit her into a box, until Eowyn didn't even feel like a person anymore. And Eomer, when it's spelled out to him, goes back and looks at their life together differently, and realises the wrong that's been done to her.

She was a tool, something to be leant on and used, to provide support for the men's desires and the men's ambitions and the men's glory, with no will of her own.

Her family loved her, but they saw her as what they would have her be, viewing her through the lens of what they believe women to be instead of seeing Eowyn (and women as a whole) for herself, instead of recognising her as her own being with own merit and skills.

It's that thing of sexism not only making women less equal, but less human.

They are a tool, a service. They are a monolith, a group assigned to perform certain roles, valued for performing those roles (to an extent) but not actually individuals, with individuals thoughts and hopes and skills and dreams. Not to the same extent as men.

And because these are the roles they're meant to serve, there's no injustice, no tragedy of lost potential and missed opportunities, because as women they don't have that potential and they don't need those opportunities.

It's no wonder Eowyn wanted to die in battle. Going to battle, riding out against the orders of all those who caged her in, that was her regaining control of her life, a life that seemed to be no life, because she was no real living person. Just a staff to be leant on. And in going to battle, when she has been told not to, in making a choice for herself, she reclaims her humanity. But she's been so broken down that she thinks the only way to avoid going back to being an object is to die in battle.

Faramir doesn't treat her like an object. He treats her like a person, one similar to him. He sees her worth and merit and he admires her strength and her deeds while also feeling compassion for her suffering. After Faramir meets her, he seeks out Merry, to try and find out about her, instead of making presumptions about her based on her sex.

Faramir bothers, he takes the effort to find out who Eowyn is, instead of deciding for her.

And Merry, who rode to war with her and also sees her who she is, helps. No wonder he and Eowyn, though parted by distance, remain great friends and Eowyn adores him.

But Eowyn doesn't just get a happy ending from having a man in her life who treats her decently.

Tolkien makes a point to have Eowyn not just declare herself as choosing to live to be Faramir's wife, it's not a case of unhappy feminist who wants to be like a boy but is finally happy when she "accepts femininity" and finds a good man to protect her.

She says she will be a healer. Faramir has spoken nothing of that. It's not a role he has chosen for her or he's taking on and she's going to do to help him. They will be married and support each other and share a life, but she will also be her own seperate person.

It's a role that she's chosen for herself, without orders or pressure from anybody else. A role that will put her strength and her wits and her stomach iron to good use, and means she won't have to wait until battle to feel alive. A role that is seen as a mark of leadership, for the greatest leaders in Middle Earth, men and women, are also healers.

This such an important arc, and it really is incredible of Tolkien to write it.

A woman who has had her own goals and skills overlooked in favour of how she can serve men, who has been kept locked in the home to tend to her family's needs with no relief or chance to go out and live life on her terms.

Who is beloved by her family, who are good people, yet still mistreated because sexism is just part and parcel of her world and even well meaning people take part in it.

A woman whose humanity has been diminished at the hands of her loved ones because of sexism and gender roles.

A woman who proves the naysayers wrong by riding out to battle, bringing along Merry who has also been left behind, and proving herself pivotal to the victory.

A woman who only finds hope for the future when she is ceased to be treated as a useful object, when she forges bonds with Merry and Faramir who don't see her as a staff for the men to walk on, nor a faulty one who keeps trying to run off on its own and needs to be brought back, but as an individual with her own hopes and failings and dreams and skills, not defined by what the patriarchy says a woman's role is.

A when she does find hope for life again, she does so not only in finding love and friendship and camaraderie, but in a vocation that will be her own, in a career that will give her own her role in the world, a role that is associated with leadership, and leadership in her own right, not as an adjunct of her husband's.

And this is how she gets her happy ending. From love (Faramir), friendship (Merry), understanding (Eomer, looking at Eowyn anew in the House of Healing) and through independence (becoming a Healer). This is how she gets a happy ending, because this is how she reclaims her personhood.

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, Part 2! Time to get into that tasty, tasty Steve/Nancy comparison. For that, I don't think I'm really getting into any new ground, I feel like people have said this before, but it's worth stating again.

Steve having unrequited feelings for Nancy is a bad choice to compare to Will having unrequited feelings for Mike because he's a little busy basically being a perfect El parallel.

Look, okay, Nancy and Mike were automatically attracted (whether you think it was real romantic attraction or just attraction to the idea of being with them) to Steve and El respectively because they were impressive. El, of course, was "Superman landing on Mike's doorstep" and Steve had all the "King Steve" shit going on.

But Nancy and Mike both had preexisting history with a Byers boy. Mike and Will have been best friends since kindergarten, and Nancy knew Jonathan through them.

Shit happens, Nancy and Mike both lose their best friend, a lot of drama happens that basically leads to a rift between our respective pairs, but Steve and El both face down a Demogorgon to save a Wheeler (and some other people) aaaand a relationship still manages to happen despite all the shit going down. Kind of hard to ignore getting saved from a monster by a pretty person, right?

But there's still something...unspoken, between the Wheelers and the Byerses, even when the Wheelers are dating their superheroes. And when push comes to shove, when it really comes down to it...Mike and Nancy can't even honestly say "I love you", and this causes the two pairs to split up.

And...while they're split up...Steve and El both sort of...rise from the ashes of their former selves. Form new identities. But also...sort of their old ones.

Steve had lost his superpower, the thing that attracted Nancy to him in the first place. He was no longer King Steve.

For fuck's sake, he was being bullied. By some loser with blond hair. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

And on top of all that, the girl he loved most couldn't even love him back.

They parted, on terrible terms, and while they were apart, Nancy found her comfort, comfort Steve could never provide, in Jonathan.

But, while he was alone, he reclaimed his old superpower. He was king again, and he'd found something new to fight for.

He didn't ever really need Nancy to fulfill him. He just needed to be his own hero.

And El?

El had lost her superpower, the thing that attracted Mike to her in the first place. She was no longer Superman.

And for fuck's sake, she was being bullied. By some loser with blond hair. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

On top of all that, the boy she loved most couldn't even love her back.

They parted, on terrible terms, and while they were apart, Mike found his comfort, comfort El could never provide, in Will.

But, while she was alone, she reclaimed her old superpower. She was Superman again, and she'd found something new to fight for.

She didn't ever really need Mike to fulfill her. She just needed to be her own hero.

Steve and El both ended Season 4 with their relationships with Wheelers still sort of up in the air, but Nancy still ran to Jonathan while Robin comforted Steve, and El and Mike weren't talking while Mike and Will are.

And both Steve and El--in very different contexts--end the season mostly focused on, not their romantic prospects, but their best friends.

And I really think that's where their focus is going to stay.

Oh, and one last assurance--something that's been said SO many times before but bears repeating again--is this:

It's kind of hard to miss what' the story is saying's going on when the writers are saying "This is what constitutes romance," and then having Will and Mike follow the exact trail they set out, step by step by step. Not just Will, Will and Mike. It's not one-sided.

[luveline]

hotch overhears r telling the girls that hotch isn’t interested because he’s not flirting back and is like 😦 i have the biggest crush on u wdym?!?! i think he would be so oblivious hehehe. but only if you are so inclined! love you bunches miss jade 💘💘

Thank you for your request, you have a huge brain <3 fem!reader

Hotch is standing in the kitchen with the curtain pulled shut, reclaiming just the smallest bit of space after a long week of close quarters. You, JJ and Emily sit toward the front, and he’s no idiot — as soon as he’d entered the kitchen your easy conversation had stopped.

Not stopped. Quietened.

You’re speaking in whispers.

He’s perhaps a bad boss for trying to listen. He turns his good ear to the curtain and holds still, fighting to make sense of it over the low thrum of the jet engines.

“It looks like it’s going well!” That’s Emily, whispering but excitable, the loudest out of the three of you.

“Sometimes I think it is…” That’s you. He hears the beginning but not the tail end, your whispers too careful.

“They need more help than they’ll admit to,” JJ says softly.

“That’s the thing– I thought I was helping, you know? I’ve actually been awful.” You laugh and his brows ease up from their natural scowl. It’s a really nice sound. “I don’t know how many casual arm touches I have left in me.”

“He likes you, I know it,” says Emily.

“I really don’t think he’s interested,” you say, and you sound sad. Not in any danger of crying, simply sad. A depressed hush. “I complimented his haircut, a few days ago, and he didn’t even answer. He just smiled. I’m striking out.”

Hotch almost drops his cup of coffee because you’re talking about him. He’d had a feeling, of course, but that’s plain confirmation, unless you’re going around telling all your male friends you like their hair. And said male friends had also been pleased into silence, flustered and smug that you’d even noticed. It’s not like his hair ever gets very long.

He makes a show of opening the curtain and keeping his head down when he returns to his seat. Reid and Morgan both nod at him, a chess game between them that Morgan thinks he’s winning, and Reid knows he’s winning.

If he thought it wouldn’t make you an anxious ball of nerves, he’d stop you on your way past him and ask if he can speak to you at the office. As it stands, any hint that he’s heard your conversation would be a cruelty, so he smiles when you meet his eyes and doesn’t say a word. He loves smiling at you; you’re a frequent receiver and yet every time you get one you act like it’s a gift, your own doubling in size and your eyelashes kissing with the force of it.

Only when the jet’s touched down and you’re all making your way back into the office for paperwork does he hold you back. He actually reaches out for you, fingers over your pulse.

“Can I steal you?” he asks, trying to sound as you sound, sometimes, that lilting sweetness that comes with your flirting. “It won’t take long.”

He doesn’t miss the knowing glances from Emily and JJ. They’re a brilliant confidence booster, actually.

If Hotch weren’t your boss, he’d have asked you out by now. But he is, and so he needs this to be on your terms. That being said, he’s certainly not about to discourage you. The rest of the team keep walking, leaving you and him alone.

“I wanted to commend you for some amazing work this week. It was a long case, and you didn’t falter.”

You glow.

“Oh, thank you.” Brilliance melds to confusion. Hotch isn’t the type to pull someone aside for praise and nothing else. “It was rough but, uh, we’re a good team, aren’t we? We always get it done in the end.”

“We’re a good team,” he repeats. Then, because he has a huge, awful crush on you, and he needs to inspire some more bravery from you, “Sometimes I need more help than I’m willing to admit to.” He claps your upper arm gently. “You don’t let me down.”

He quickly stops touching you, taking a slow step toward the door that you follow automatically. He wants you to have the space to think about what he’s said, worried he’s read the signs wrong, worried he’s come on too strong, but you catch up and tuck your hand into the crook of his arm.

“I like helping,” you say, quiet but undeniably delighted. Your smile is cherubic. “People have said that about me, I’m a helper.”

“Yeah?” he asks with a laugh.

Your cheek touches his shoulder, the heat of it seeping through his suit. “Definitely.”

[drdemonprince]

Hello! You have opened a fascinating door into kink communities I didn't even know existed. Thanks for that. I was describing some of your steamworks adventures to my partner, who works as a Disease Intervention Specialist (aka DIS, a government healthcare worker who administers free/low-cost STD testing and then attempts to track down and notify+test the recent sexual partners of any infected individuals). (He brings some INSANE stories home from work and gets to give sex ed talks at the local Christian college using a model penis that actually ejaculates--but I digress.) He was horrified by the hypothetical situation where an infected person could have blindfolded sex with an unknown number of nameless strangers. It's hard enough trying to track down partners when the patient only knew them by their Grindr username. How do you have safe sex in these situations? Some STDs can be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact even with a condom. Do venues like steamworks enforce any rules around testing/protection/etc.?

If your partner is 'horrified' by the actual sex lives of the populations he ostensibly serves I think he needs to read more from harm reductionist thinkers and queer activists from a variety of past eras and work on processing his feelings of judgement to ensure it doesn't impact his actions in that line of work.

The books and Melancholia and Moralism, Saving Our Own Lives, and Beyond Shame: Reclaiming the Abandoned History of Radical Gay Sexuality are good places to start.

If you're having anonymous or blindfolded sex in cruising spaces, one route of managing risks is to assume that every person there could be infected with STIs you do not have and to plan accordingly. Vaccines, condoms, PreP, testing, and education are just some of the tools at one's disposal, and one should always be cognizant of the risks that one is consenting to. Steamworks has sexual health educators and testers present within their space regularly, but they don't gatekeep based on serostatus, health status, drug regimen or use of protection -- doing so wouldn't be feasible and would be problematic on multiple grounds.

I don't believe the goal of a public health initiative or a life well lived is to eliminate all risk, or to regard the presence of any infection in any human body as unacceptable, but rather to empower people to make informed decisions about the level of risk they are comfortable confronting, or that is worth the numerous benefits to them.

Personally, I was in far greater danger when I didn't have access to such spaces. Cruising spaces make negotiating sexual consent far safer than privately dating and hooking up with someone, and Steamworks are vitally important queer community spaces, and for me are well worth the trade off. No one should have any illusions about this ever being an experience that they can eliminate all risk from, rather they should anticipate it and plan for it.

I think "safe sex" is an unhelpful framework to pursue because it is so binary and can't ever be guaranteed. What does safety mean? Which types of exposures do we consider to be "unsafe"? Am I unsafe if I encounter another person who, like me, has had a cold sore before, like 80% of the population? Or someone who has a strain of HPV I am vaccinated against? What about if I have an encounter with somebody with a cold? I'm "safer" being fucked by an HIV positive person who is undetectable and wearing a condom than I am having barrier free sex with a long term partner who cheats. I can't even know I'm taking a risk in the latter case; at Steamworks, I'm assuming my risk level to be on the high end and planning accordingly.

I understand that testing and tracing are important parts of public health for our populations. It was vitally important when monkeypox broke out. Maybe Steamworks should collect member emails and alert them if there was a reported transmission on a night that they visited. Though even then, there are some negative public health implications to dozens of people panicking. But there is no means of eliminating all risk entirely or tracing all human sexual behavior and I would be myself pretty horrified if there was.

[cre8inghavoc]

What are Friends For?

PT. 2

Status: ongoing!!

Updates: no set date.

WC: 2185

Description: Characters are aged up. After months of enduring her boyfriend's emotional abuse, Y/N found the courage to stand up for herself. She confronted him, refusing to tolerate his hurtful behavior any longer. In that moment, she broke free from the curse of their toxic relationship, reclaiming her independence and beginning a journey of healing. Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader

Genre/Warnings:[18+] This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.

Maki dropped you off at home ridiculously early, like 6 am early. But with a long list of errands to run and a breakup conversation that you were not looking forward to, you didn't have time to dwell on it. You just wanted to get this day over with. 

Your friends wanted to hang out later to cheer you up after the breakup, but you needed to clear your head first.

The thought of breaking up with your boyfriend made your stomach swirl. It wasn't the act itself that scared you, but rather his reaction. Would he explode in anger, or worse, shrug it off like it meant nothing? Neither option sounded appealing. You didn't want a dramatic showdown, but you also didn't want him to be emotionless. Would that mean he never loved you?

The constant back-and-forth overthinking was giving you a headache. Did you want him to fight for us, or would it be better if he just accepted it peacefully? It was hard to say. All you wanted was to focus on your errands and distract yourself, but your mind had other plans. No matter what, he seemed to be all you could think about.. And not in a good way, but when was it in a good way anyways? 

9:15 AM.

Knock knock.

Was that Maki already? You distinctly remember telling her to come by at 9:45 AM… Maybe she decided to show up early and grab breakfast before heading out for our errands together. With that thought in mind, you made your way to the door with a big smile. But as soon as you opened it, your smile quickly faded into a blank expression. Surprise. It's him.

You stand there, just staring at each other in silence for a moment. You take in his appearance - messy hair, wrinkled clothes, and that tired look in his eyes. He look like he just woke up… You know it's early, but still. Then, you notice something off. His eyes are glassy and bloodshot, and there's a strange scent lingering around him. Sweat, mixed with... could it be a hint of perfume? Wait. Is he... drunk? Putting together all the clues, I'd say there's a solid 90% chance he is.

"Hey babe~" Your boyfriend slurs, his breath heavy with the stench of alcohol. Scratch that, he's 100% drunk. The familiar pet name makes you cringe hard, even though it used to be a regular thing between you two. Now, it just feels weird... and not in a good way. Is it because you're losing feelings? Probably. But also, he doesn't deserve to call you that. He never did, and you shouldn't have let him. You shouldn't have let him take control the way he did. He's hurt you so many times. So much so that you understand why your friends never liked him. And honestly... You don't like him either.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, your tone tinged with confusion. You don't want him inside your house, especially not in his current state. So, almost subconsciously, you step out onto the porch and close the door behind you. Thank god he's too drunk to realize, or else he’d make that small thing a big problem.

"Whattt? Can’t come to s-say hi to my girlfrienddd~" He slurs again, and the possessive term “his” girlfriend sends another wave of discomfort through you. You don't want to be his, not anymore. Then, out of nowhere, he leans in close.

Oh, no.

Fuck.

He's about to kiss you. Panic sets in. You can't even bear his presence, let alone the thought of him claiming you as his girlfriend. You don't want to kiss him. You CAN’T kiss him.

Subconsciously, you blurted out, "Ew…" and it visibly angered him. He pulls back quickly, glaring at you with frustration evident on his face. 

"The fuck. Why the fuck did you say that?" he snaps.

Your face flushes with embarrassment as you realize what you just said. It's like the words slipped out before you could stop them. You panic, scrambling for an excuse. "Sorry! Your breath just smelled like really strong alcohol and I just didn't expect it…"

Smooth, Y/N. Not the worst lie, but definitely not your finest moment.

As you step back, your eyes catch something on his neck. A purple spot. No, it can't be... can it? You reach out and pull down the collar of his shirt, confirming your suspicions. It's a hickey. Unbelievable. You're not sure how you're supposed to feel. Angry? Sad? Heartbroken? But strangely, you just feel... disappointed. Disappointed in his actions, yes, but more so disappointed in yourself for sticking around through all the misery, only to have him cheat on you.

"Is that a hickey?" You question him, but that question only seems to piss him further. You can't recall ever seeing him this angry before. "Are you fucking accusing me of cheating on you? You're fucking pathetic, Y/N," he scoffs, a cruel laugh escaping his lips. "You're the one who went to a boy's house yesterday, and you're calling me a cheater? You know what, fuck you. You're just a bitch. You always like playing the victim card, don't you? It's always about you and your fucking drama. Maybe if you weren't a fucking whore trying to find attention from your little guy friends, I wouldn't feel the need to seek affection elsewhere. Fuck you. You're a nobody, and you will never be worth anything. No one wants an overthinking, paranoid, insecure, anxious fucking bitch. You're pathetic, truly. If your mind wasn't fucked up, maybe I would've loved you."

His hurtful words pierce through you like daggers, but it's his final remark that cuts deepest. "If your mind wasn't fucked up, maybe I would've loved you." Fucked up? YOU? FUCKED UP? You wouldn't feel this way if he hadn't treated you like absolute fucking shit. His comment triggers something inside you, igniting a fire of rage you've never felt before. For the first time ever, you stand up for yourself.

"You're a fucking liar. You're the one that's fucked up. Have you ever thought that the only reason why I have anxiety and overthink is because of YOU," you seethe, pointing a trembling finger at him. "YOU'RE THE FUCKING REASON I'M LIKE THIS, ASSHOLE. I'm so done with this. I'm done with you. We're fucking over. Do not ever talk to me again."

You realize that everyone in the neighbourhood could hear the whole ordeal, both of you yelling and hurling insults at each other. But at that moment, you didn't care. For the first time ever, you said what you always wanted to say, and it felt good.

What you didn't anticipate was how much this would enrage your now ex-boyfriend. Before you knew it, he had clenched his fist and swung it right at your face. Fear courses through you like never before. Fuck… Was he about to hit you? You knew he was capable of sinking low, but this... this was a new low.

"HEY!" A commanding voice breaks through the chaos, causing your ex's fist to freeze in midair. He quickly withdraws his hand and turns to face the person who interrupted him. Standing there was a tall man, dressed in a black hoodie and track pants. It's obvious he's out walking his two dogs, both of whom sit obediently by his side like they’re his bodyguard's. You find yourself catching your breath, relieved that this stranger arrived just in time, potentially saving you from further harm.

Your ex's retort is sharp and defensive. "What the fuck do you want? Can't you mind your fucking business? I'm trying to talk to my girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend," the tall man corrects with a firm expression, catching you off guard with his confidence, especially considering he doesn't even know who you are. A soft smile tugs at your lips as your ex rolls his eyes and walks away.

 Finally, he's gone.

The tall man hurries over to you, his dogs following his move. "Are you okay?" he asks, his concern evident despite his neutral expression.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you... for helping me," you reply softly, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

"Of course. Did he hurt you?"

"No... but if it weren't for you stopping him, I don't know how far he would've gone." A tear escapes, trailing down your cheek. His hands gently cup your face as he wipes away the tear with his thumb, his touch surprisingly gentle. You find yourself getting lost in his eyes, a captivating dark blue unlike any you've seen before. They remind you of the night sky, filled with stars and the moon... oh, how you love the moon. You both share a prolonged gaze, completely lost in each other, until the sound of a car pulling up and a honk breaks the moment.

It's Maki; she's here to pick you up, and you've completely forgotten about your plans. He slowly withdraws his hands from your face, still not breaking eye contact.

You quickly turn your head away from him, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. Are you blushing? Oh no...

"Sorry... My friend is here to pick me up, and she gets very impatient... Before I go, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it," you manage to say, giving him a genuine smile.

He chuckles softly and returns the smile. "I'm glad you're okay. Have fun with your friend. Tell her to become more of patient person."

You giggle at his response. "Will do!" you reply as you walk towards Maki's car. Once you get in, you wave at the man, and Maki drives off. You can't shake off the feeling of his soft voice and gentle touch lingering on your cheek. God, his touch felt good.

"So... are you going to tell me who that was or...?" Maki interrupts your thoughts.

Shit. You were too deep in thought to realize you were silent for practically five minutes.

"Omg... it's a long story..." you begin, explaining everything to her in detail. Her facial expressions change almost every two seconds, from happy to angry, to relieved, and then happy again.

"Wow... holy fuck, Y/N. That was a fucking rollercoaster. BUT I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR BREAKING UP WITH HIM!" she exclaims with extreme excitement.

You giggle at her response. "You're too much sometimes," you tease.

After running errands, you and Maki head out for dinner, and by the time you get back, it is already 10:30 PM. As you both enter Yuta's house, Maki bursts in with her hands in the air.

"GUESS WHO'S SINGLE, BITCHES!!!" she yells in excitement.

Inumaki stands up in shock. "You broke up with Nobara??!!"

Maki's face twists in confusion. "WHAT? NO! What the fuck, Toge."

"Then who??!!" he asks, still clueless.

You start dying of laughter as Yuta and Maki exchange looks before turning back to Inumaki, as if he's the slowest person in the room... which, let's face it, he is, but you'd never tell him that.

"Y/N, you idiot," Maki finally spits out.

"OH MY GOD! YES, FINALLY," Inumaki exclaimed excitedly.

Yuta and Maki slap their foreheads simultaneously. "You're actually so slow," they sigh in unison.

Yuta stands up and walks over to you, enveloping you in a hug, followed by the others.

"You know what time it is!" Yuta says, hinting at something you're clearly unaware of.

"Club time!!!!" Maki chimes in excitedly.

"What?! No, no, no, guys... It's too late, and I'm so tired..." you interject.

"You agreed we would celebrate your breakup..." Inumaki reminds you.

"Yeah... but the club?" you question.

Maki quickly responds, "Nobara invited me and told me to bring you guys too since she knows about your breakup. She thought it would be nice to distract yourself, plus you'll finally get to meet her and her friends too!"

Their expectant gazes make you feel guilty for not wanting to go. They just want you to feel better, and honestly, it's a good way to distract yourself. Well, not from your ex... but from the tall man who saved you. Fuck. You didn't even get his name or his number. Wait... why are you thinking about him so much? You don't even know him... Oh my god, you're so screwed.

"Okay, fine. When are we going?" you concede.

"Now," Yuta says, grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the house, with the others following and getting into Maki's car.

The music is blasting, and the lights are flickering like crazy as you enter the club. You haven't been to a club in a year, so being here with your friends actually feels kind of nice... You all head to the bar and start downing shots one after another. After your fourth shot, you start feeling the alcohol kick in. As you reach for another shot, you feel a hand on your shoulder and a voice whispering in your ear.

"Slow down..."

Wait... this voice... It sounds so familiar. You turn your head quickly and see who it is.

No way.

It's him...

TAGLIST

@nikkimvriee , @xbarrjallenx , @atinymonbebestay , @1l-ynn

GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE!!!! <3 you don't understand how happy it made me reading your comments hehe

AND FINALLY SHE BROKE UP WITH THAT PIECE OF SHIT!

GO Y/N!!!! She's making me so proud 🥲

[mlmxreader]

the cod fandom has a serious issue w saneism

I'm genuinely not joking. so many of you fuckers are guilty of being absolutely abhorrent towards people with personality, schizospec, psychotic, dissociative and trauma disorders and you need to stop before you genuinely harm someone. no, you're not "cute" for it - you're an ableist, nasty little cunt for it.

so, let's go through it a bit; I'm not gonna go in-depth, bc ik some of you lot won't take criticism w/o treating it as a personal attack, and ik a LOT of you don't actually give a shit abt hurting people either. but I'm gonna quickly cover some things that need addressing.

First and foremost: "delulu".

"delulu" is a term that's been shortened from "delusional" to essentially mean "I have a thought/opinion that few others have".

which isn't the correct way to actually use this term whatsoever; according to the correct definition, a delusion is stated to be "A delusion is a strongly-held or fixed false belief that conflicts with reality.", and an example of that would be (for example) if someone believed that their behaviour, thoughts and emotions were being controlled by the government or aliens. THAT is a delusion.

"Soap isn't dead uwu" is not. by using the word "delusion" colloquially and by using "delulu", you are minimising and misusing a term used solely meant for usage within the mental health field. it's not that hard to say "I have the opinion that-" or "I think that-", because what you're experiencing isn't a delusion. it's an opinion.

Secondly: "psychopath/sociopath".

"psychopath" and "sociopath" are widely misused and derogatory terms used often towards people with ASPD to portray them as violent, evil, etc. and within the cod fandom is often used as a derogatory term for villains like Makarov and Shepherd and Graves.

the terms themselves are wildly outdated and no longer used within the mental health field due to their derogatory and untrue definitions; "psychopath" and "sociopath" can ONLY be used by people with ASPD and other such disorders, otherwise, it does count as a slur.

if you cannot reclaim it, you cannot use it.

otherwise, you're only pushing and furthering stigmatisation and stereotypes that render it HARDER for people to seek help and support for their mental health.

Third: "schizo".

"schizo" is a fucking slur. end of. it is a slur against people with schizospec disorders. it's a slur, stop using it.

it's not cute and it isn't funny; the word is a slur, and if you cannot reclaim it then why are you using it if not to treat schizospec people as a fucking joke?

why is our mental health a joke to you when you would kick off if someone did the same to anxiety, or depression?

why is it okay to treat one disorder as a joke, why is it okay to treat schizospec people as if we're second class citizens?

Fourth: "psycho".

the same as above, "psycho" is a fucking slur. stop using it.

the word has a long, long history of being used in a derogatory, offensive and bigoted manner in order to portray someone as being violent, evil or otherwise terrible - "he's such a psycho!", "she's acting psycho!" - and yet, the cod fandom throws it around as if it means nothing despite the fact that one quick look will show that "psycho" is a slur and is as bad as calling someone a "faggot" as a slur.

Fifth: the treatment of Nikto

in recent weeks, Nikto has become sort of the "new" König - he's an object of desire and attraction, which... Sure, whatever.

but Nikto canonically has dissociative identity disorder, a mental health issue that is largely misunderstood and mistreated massively.

the fandom treats Nikto two ways: either his mental illness boils down to "uwu soft baby" disease, or it doesn't exist at all.

that is NOT how dissociative identity disorder works; by treating Nikto as if he's some completely innocent, infantilised, glamourised depiction of dissociative identity disorder, you are further perpetuating that it is NOT a serious disorder and it is NOT something to take seriously.

furthermore, by acting as if his mental health disorder doesn't exist AT ALL, you are also furthering that a character CANNOT be desirable, loved and attractive if he has any kind of mental health disorder.

how would you like it if someone treated anxiety or depression that way?

how would you feel if someone erased depression to make you an object of desire, instead of treating it with respect and decency?

it's not nice, is it?

so why do it at all?

conclusion

the cod fandom has a massive, massive issue with saneism and ableism, and it needs to stop because all you're doing is being shitty and bigoted towards marginalised people to the point where even something that's supposed to be FUN can't even be that anymore because people with these disorders have to CONSTANTLY be on guard and CONSTANTLY have to deal with stigmatisation and demonisation to the point where no one can be trusted outside of ourselves.

so stop it, have some fucking courtesy for your fellow man and have some respect and decency for once in your lives.

yes, you can reblog, but don't fucking derail.

[paddockbunny]

Your comments about Pierre have me wanting a Pierre oneshot from you!!!

The Moustache Test Drive

Summary: Pierre finally gave into you and grew in the moustache to his beard…but he wants you to “test drive” it to make sure it stays Rating: 18+. Pairing : Pierre Gasly x Reader Word Count : 1,793. Trigger Warnings : 18+, NSFW, adult content, adult language, oral female receiving, slight fingering, slightly rough action 💞Authors Note : Seeing as Mr Gasly hasn’t given us any gif worthy clips of his delicious new addition (if he still indeed has it) then we’ll roll with this hot af one ✌🏼

You buzzed with excitement. It wouldn’t be long till you were off the plane and back with your new boyfriend to celebrate the New Year. You had only properly been dating Pierre for the past three months and everything was still new and thrilling. And while you felt like you were in a fast paced, blissful haze you also felt strangely settled and content with him. All of your friends back home were right though when they told you not to get ahead of yourself and just take the moments as they came. You knew he had a bit of a history with short term relationships (and being a massive flirt) so knew to keep things at a nice steady pace instead of jumping head first into things. But none the less, as soon as the wheels of your plane touched down in Dubai you couldn’t contain yourself.

Pierre text you as soon as you were off the plane and heading toward the first class luggage reclaim area to get your luggage (as Pierre had booked your seat for you he spared no expense) to tell you that he was waiting for you in the arrivals hall. You were so eager to get through and get your hands on him. You had last seen him two weeks ago and yet you were addicted to him your fingers tingled for wanting to be on his skin.

While the lovely man from the airline pushed your multiple bags for you on a trolley you broke out into a gigantic smile when you saw him. Pierre was standing there waiting for you with a smile on his own face too. And then something just grasped hold of you and you broke into a slow sprint to get to him quicker. And when you reached him his arms engulfed you and you were lifted clean off your feet. “Fuck, I’ve missed you!” He sighed as he held your body to his. All you could think of was how it felt to be back in his energy and how strong his body felt around you. As Pierre lowered you back to your feet you needed his lips on yours, you craved it above all else. Your hand went to the back of his head and he got the hint but right as his lips touched yours something was different and you immediately pulled your head away to check. “Pierre!” You gasped and he looked at you with mocked confused as to why you had stalled. “What is that?” It came out of your mouth without even thinking but it wasn’t because you were appalled it was because it was amusing and you realised he had listened to your pleas. “Oh! This?” He tan his fingers over the newly formed hair filling the space between his upper lip and his nose. “I’m trying it out….my girlfriend begged me.” He did that signature Gasly smirk and cheeky tongue thing that drove you wild. “I didn’t beg you.” You playfully tried to correct him but he wasted no time putting his hand around your neck and pulling you back into him. “We can debate that later, just shut up and let me kiss you.” And so you did. And he did. And it was fucking perfect.

It didn’t take long till you were both back in Pierre’s suite. He stood watching as the hotel porters unloaded your luggage from the bellhop trolley in slight amazement and dumbfounded-ness. “Mon Amour, are you on vacation or moving in?” And you rolled your eyes. You had over packed - yes, that was true - but you wanted to look good for him and he hadn’t told you anything about what this Dubai trip would entail so you wanted to be prepared for every eventuality. You had enough bikinis to last the full two weeks and also plenty for activities outfits like sand-dunning and (god forbid) if he wanted to jump out of a plane and skydive. Glancing at the cases you figured at least you would always be dressed appropriately. After Pierre shook the palm of the porters hands - tipping them generously - they left the suite which finally left the pair of you alone, you immediately thought of the moustache again.

“So what made you give in?” Asking him playfully while removing your sweatshirt and catching a glimpse of the newly formed upper lip invader. He turned to you but didn’t comprehend what you were referring too till you rubbed your top lip. With an exhale and a joking eye roll he told you; “Well, this really beautiful but kind of annoying girl said I looked like a baby wolverine and I guess I want to be the full grown, wolverine that gets to do this….” The whole time he had been speaking he closed the space between the pair of you and without a shred of hesitation he grabbed you round the waist and shoved you forcefully - but in a super hot way that made a gasp leave your body - against the wall to the side of you. An agreeable “hmm” purred from way down deep inside your body as you adjusted to having your back flat against the cool, cold wall. From Pierre’s expression you knew the noise you had just made pleased him immensely.

“I think you need to take it for a test drive.” He hummed. His eyes flickering down to your lips before falling lower to where your chest was heaving in your sports crop. “What do you mean?” You sort of knew what he was hinting at - it was one of the main reasons you really wanted him to grow it in the first place - but you liked the feral side that came out in Pierre when you acted so innocent with him. Without one single moment of indecision Pierre grinned smugly before slowly getting on his knees before you. You tried to regain control of your breathing because it had become erratic as soon as Pierre’s fingers hooked under the waistband of your leggings and began to pull them down. He paused for a second to pull your trainers off and finished getting you out of the sage green tight Lycra. You whimpered his name when the slightly rough pads of his fingertips ran up and down your thighs but his eyes were on the prize and he was laser focused. Intently you watched him as he reached for your simple thin thong and just as he had done with your leggings he pulled it down your legs tantalisingly slowly. Pierre’s hand then firmly went to the backside of your thigh and your eyes left left him as he repositioned himself and put your leg over his shoulder, his mouth now tormentingly close to where you were desperate to feel him.

Pierre worked quickly. After fleetingly glimpsing up to you he ran his index and forefinger up and down your dampening folds before finally he stopped teasing and parted you. Pierre’s tongue then swiped over your sensitive bundle of nerves in one featherlight and slow, so painfully slow, stripe. You sighed as he continued driving you insane by taking his time with you. The tip of his tongue stroking up and down, up and down. The pressure wasn’t enough and you were sure you hadn’t breathed since Pierre began this torture so your shoved your hand through his hair to urge him to step it up a notch. Which he did. He took your hint and sealed his mouth around your now aching, pulsating clit and sucked strongly. The action made a full shiver rack through you and you it made a sound of sheer pleasure roll from the back of Pierre’s throat, as if he was devouring his favourite meal. You mentally thanked your body for its response because Pierre gripped hold of your butt and made sure you got all the strength of his tongue. Your breath caught in your throat as his name was teetering on the tip of your tongue but he surprised you by pulling away and looking at your pussy, glistening with a mixture of your wet arousal and his saliva. He clearly admired it for a moment before he delved back in and this time his tongue went lower and this time you felt the moustache graze against your sensitive little bundle. “Fuck!” You gasped, unable to hold it back anymore. You wanted him to know how good it was, how good he was, his good his tongue was. Your fingers tangled into his hair and pulled on it so he knew how badly you wanted more. Which he gladly gave you but all you could think of was the new sensation of his moustache. The slight prickly sting against your fleshy bud was a reminder of all the begging you did weeks ago to get Pierre to stop shaving his upper lip. It wasn't a selfish move - be truly looked better with it and it completed his beard - but fuck, as he was close to making you climax you mentally thanked yourself for being so relentless.

However, it was Pierre that was the relentless one now and he really stepped on the gas and accelerated all of the movements he was making. Short, longing licks were replaced by merciless lapping of his tongue and you had been so focused on the feel of the upper lip addition that you missed him adding his fingers into play. You had become a panting, quivering mess by the time your orgasm was hammering down on top of you and you were struggling to hold out. The attempt really was futile because Pierre hummed against you and his fingertips found the fleshy mound inside of you and grazed it repeatedly. And that was it. You were gone in seconds. You came so hard that the leg that was holding you up almost gave way. Your body vibrated as Pierre brought you to the edge and pushed you over it. You orgasmed so hard that you would testify to seeing stars in front of your eyes, they were clamped that tightly shut. And he lapped up all of the juicy mess that you made. He always praised you and claimed you were his favourite taste in the world and it was no different now. The only difference was when Pierre sat back on his knees and your leg fell from his shoulder you couldn’t help but bite your lip at the look of him. His moustache was glistening, coated in the product of your orgasm.

“Is it staying?” He was so arrogant in the way he asked you but in the come down of your high you shakily laughed

“It is absolutely staying.”

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Can you tell us what the answers to the six of crows color experiment is?

Yep! ☺️

I realised too late that I really should’ve organised it as a poll somehow, because I’ve had loads of responses (thank you all very much) and whilst a lot of them agreed with me there were a few I wasn’t expecting. My associations in the order than I wrote them in the original post:

Red - Nina

Green - Jesper

Black - Kaz

Blue - Matthias

Purple - Inej

Orange - Wylan

So generally speaking a lot of people either agreed with exactly what I’d said or swapped Wylan and Jesper, which makes a lot of sense. A few people also moved Jesper and Inej around, which I understand and I wanted to add on that point I always connect Inej to purple with the idea of her reclaiming the colour and its power in the same way that she referred to her knives as her “proper claws” to reclaim the image of the lynx. Purple is the colour that was used against her and the colour that represents Ketterdam (Stadwatch uniforms, colour of Kruge notes, and the Geldrenner Ketterdam suite being the main examples); with a part of what separates Inej’s journey and her ship from Kaz’s style of vengeance is the acknowledgement that the city itself is the monster she’s facing, she’s been forced to come to terms with the idea that what happened to her wasn't the result of one terrible person or group of terrible people, but a dangerous environment and society that was never going to see her as an equal go matter what she did in life (this realisation is particularly linked to the “Rare Spices” billboard, which I wrote a post on a while back so if anyone wants to read that let me know and I’ll tag you) so by reclaiming the colour she is not only reclaiming the power Heleen took from her but the city as a whole. I hope I worded that all okay I worry that my point doesn’t come across properly it feels unclear please let me know and I’ll try to explain it differently. However I also understand the perspective a few people raised in their responses of wanting to separate her from that colour because she should always be seen as more than who she was forced to be, it’s just my personal interpretation that part of her pathway to healing is reclaiming the symbols used against her as a symbol of power to use against the system and people that put her in her position.

With Jesper and Wylan, I can definitely see it going both ways and I guess it also depends on what shades of the colours you’re imagining for each of them. For me, Wylan is orange because it can be a quiet, beautiful sunrise but it can also be fire and rage, it can be dark and deeply lonely but it can also be bright and blazing, it can be the first light of home in the dark but it can also be the flames of righteousness. “You were angry. I needed you righteous” “well, you’ve got me”. I realise all/most colours have a natural dual nature but I think orange does particularly and I think that it compliments him wonderfully. I connect Jesper to green for brightness, fun, the “lime green” clothes and vibrant plaid, but also for the farm and the card tables and the painful difference between them - the way his life split in two like a log cut down the middle (I don’t have my book with me so not quoting, but he says something along those lines in Crooked Kingdom when talking about how he ended up moving from the university to the Barrel).

I think the one’s who were always connected the same way were Nina to red and Kaz to black, and I wanted to add a couple of reasons I didn’t see anyone mention yet and that would be Nina being the “little red bird” and Kaz wearing black, mercher suits to mock them and to look, by Ketterdam’s colour-represented social hierarchy that I could talk about forever, like he fits in with them in the upper echelon of society.

And most people also maintained Matthias with blue, connections to water, ice, storms, but I think also it’s worth emphasising his blue eyes that Nina finds so beautiful

I will go through later and tag everyone who has responded so far in this post so everyone can see the results if they want to, thanks to everyone who responded ❤️

[bestworstcase]

Do you think Weiss will get a romantic relationship?

i don’t think so, and i’m skeptical as to whether she is even really interested in romance at all; notably her core relationships are all with her family, winter and klein and whitley and (to a lesser extent) her mother. her interest in neptune in v2 is superficial and evaporates over his flirting with other girls in v3, and then in v9… lmao well

i know v9 was widely perceived as ship-teasing and the going assumption in the fandom these days is weiss/jaune endgame, but aside from the fractal ozlem problem there (both salems) what strikes me is that weiss specifically expresses physical attraction to jaune at the lowest point in his life; he looks like that because he’s been miserable and not taking care of himself for years. and then when he acts like someone who’s miserable and isolated and not taking care of himself weiss is like oh he’s crazy, we can’t depend on him, which he hears and gets understandably upset about. that fissure is repaired but that it happens at all speaks to a fundamental emotional disconnect.

like imagine the bees in an equivalent situation, if yang was stranded in time and aged several decades before blake found her again in such a haggard state—lank hair, prosthetic arm covered in rust, visibly exhausted. can you imagine blake’s first/only reaction being “yang looks hot!” in that moment? with weiss and jaune it’s played as a joke and the humor comes from weiss leapfrogging over “holy shit is jaune okay?” to “jaune’s hot!” and blurting out something completely insensitive. it’s very sun referring to blake’s avoidant self-destructive behavior in v2 as blake being “all… blake-y.”

and then

in terms of the fractal ozlem narrative—like, weiss is the girl in the tower who creates her own knight in shining armor. that’s the conceit. i think the point of her with respect to ozlem is to interrogate the idea that the girl “saves herself” by asking for help; weiss summons her knight but it isn’t the knight who rescues her, it’s klein—her father-figure—who helps her get out, which makes a pretty straightforward implication about salem. the girl who is her own knight leaves her tower through the genuine love of her father-in-all-but-blood; the only way for the girl to leave the tower without being saved is if her father is kind, and salem’s was not.

(<- which is all wrapped up in ozma’s self-hatred; he writes the fairytale as if the hero was merely the inconsequential tool the girl used to free herself because he feels inadequate—he died and left her behind, he couldn’t save her in the end, he was too cowardly to take her hand, therefore he never saved her at all and really she was the one who saved herself.)

anyway the point being, there’s a strong thematic incentive against giving weiss a romantic partner because her character poses this counterfactual question—what if salem didn’t need ozma?—which reifies that salem did need ozma, because her father was cruel and would not let her go. a salem who did not need ozma is necessarily matched by an ozma who did not need salem—they must be equals, always—and the question then is what would bind salem and ozma together if he is not her freedom and she is not his sanctuary. do they fall in love at all? probably not.

and it does look to me as though that’s where weiss’ character arc is headed, with how hard she’s taking the fall of atlas and the open question of what reclaiming the legacy of the schnee name from her father’s wrongdoing looks like now that the whole kingdom is gone

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730572795212398592/what-is-up-with-all-the-trans-men-on-this-hellsite?source=share

As a trans man, I might have some insight into this one. I'm a lot older than the standard uwu sparkle anti, but I was in my mid twenties for the first wave of weirdness about trans boys on Tumblr about a decade ago, so I was just too old for it then, and I saw a lot of guys my age and a little younger get swept up in it.

OTNF rightly points out that young trans men are a particularily vulnerable demographic. This is part of it, but we're also a demographic that doesn't sit comfortably with our identites (gender identities or otherwise) and are told by everyone (on every side) that we are Doing It Wrong, that our existence harms others, and that we must be this specific way to be good people.

I'm sure you've seen the "trans men are better than real cis men" rhetoric. It's meant to be inclusive and to reassure us that we're not bad people just because of our gender, but it also denies us our entire gender identity.

So basically, you've got a bunch of young guys, most of whom were socialised like girls and learned to never be too assertive, many of whom are straight up suffering from dysphoria and stress, being told by people both within and outside of their communities that the are Wrong and Bad and Harmful just for existing. It makes sense that a lot of them would would find a movement based on moral posturing that will accept them if they perform correctly and will use their real name and pronouns. That's what Antis are; they say "use this vocabulary, send hate mail to that person, put these terms in your DNI, don't be caught reading that story", and, unlike other groups that police people's tastes and performance that hard, they're not overtly hostile to trans identities. So you can spout the right rhetoric, use the right tumblr icon, and they will actually accept you (on the surface, for a time, but we're talking about young and desperate people who aren't looking at the long game).

Helping them harass those badwrong horrible NOTP shippers or aces or middle aged women or some random artist who got caught drawing the wrong age gap or whoever is the fashionable target will prove that you aren't a horrible monster for being a man, you're moral and upright and correct.

And yes a lot of it is internalised misandry (that word has a lot of dumb baggage, but how else can I describe a boy who hates himself for being a boy?), or self-loathing born of dysphoria and just plain having to live in a world that's hostile to trans people.

Being an anti is a way out. It's a way to manufacture acceptence. And they're too young and too hurt to realise that that acceptance is as temporary and hostile as the people who accept them only if they pretend to be girls; the antis will turn on them the moment they start acting a little too manly or if they're caught liking the wrong ship.

(I've seen something similar happen to young cis queer guys and trans girls, too, but it isn't as pronounced since being raised as a boy means you probably already learned that standing up for yourself is ok sometimes)

--

I'm sure it also doesn't help that tumblr is absolutely full of BL/slash fandom. There's certainly plenty of gender diversity in these spaces, but it's inescapable that the majority of participants are women. So for a young, insecure guy trying to assert that he is a guy, it's easy to fall prey to "Waaaah, I need to reclaim my hobby for me!" gatekeepy nonsense.

Sure, it's going to be turned on nbs even harder than on cis women and will be used to misgender other trans men in the end and misogyny isn't cool anyway, but that's not what your average traumatized young fool is thinking when they first join up. They're thinking "I hurt."

TBH, though, probably the largest component is that all of us—all of us—have a mental image of a default human for a given context. It's rarely a trans man. And so anything a trans man does stands out and is A Thing Trans Men Do.

This is true even if you are trans. It is true even if you are not a transphobic dickhead. Unlearning the 'why girls are bad at math' xkcd strip is extraordinarily hard because recognizing patterns and having mental defaults is just how human brains work.

There are shittons of cis women who become antis, but they're just not notable in the same way.

Are trans men more vulnerable to becoming antis? It's possible, and the reasons you outlined above are likely why. I think it's an interesting question to discuss if we are specifically discussing why the trans men who do become antis do so.

But we don't actually have any hard facts to support that they are more prone to it than anybody else. My guess would be that vulnerable people are more likely to become antis, so any cis woman with a strong source of vulnerability like a shittastic home life is similarly vulnerable to a young trans man with no support network, but who knows.

Maybe only 5% of trans men on tumblr are antis and 50% of cis women. Maybe it's 90% of trans men and 20% of cis women. Maybe it's 1% and 1% and they're just all very loud.

We have no data. We just don't know.

And we will never be able to trust our own brains on this until trans vs. cis is such a nonissue that we don't even notice it.

[sleepingpopplio]

The depth of Bakugo’s apology

I saw the clip from the anime’s rendition of Bakugo’s apology and was filled with the same emotions as when I first read it in the manga. It was powerful, it was beautiful, it was gentle, and it meant something to people. But while it was great to see Bakugo apologetic for his past actions to Izuku during his time of need, the fandom often neglects the layers to that apology.

I think one thing about Bakugo’s apology that makes it so powerful is that when he says “I’m sorry [Izuku] for everything”, he’s referencing more than simply his bullying. Sure, he’s haunted by his constant guilt for what he did and the long term affects of it, but he’s also sorry that things ended up the way they did.

He’s sorry that Izuku has so much self loathing towards himself and his quirkless past. He’s sorry that Izuku was given One For All without being given the full truth about the quirk and its legacy. He’s sorry that Izuku was given so much responsibly and sorry that Izuku was put under so much pressure as he wielder of One For All— that he had to be the next symbol of piece alone. He’s sorry that Izuku was made to feel as though everything & everyone relied on him. He’s sorry that Izuku feels as though his only value comes from saving people, and that if he can’t save everyone then he’s a failure. He’s sorry that Izuku feels the need to break himself beyond repair in order to be respected as the deku who always does his best.

Bakugo is sorry that Izuku has been through so much emotional torment over the past year, going through a downward spiral since the minute he was given OFA, and he [Bakugo] couldn’t stop him from leaving the hospital and their friends behind in time. He’s sorry that things had to get to this point.

So much can be taken from just a few words. Bakugo knows deku very well, and he knows that Deku’s suffering extends far beyond his being bullied. I think that is another reason Deku has such a strong visible reaction to Bakugo’s words. He feels seen, and he feel like everyone in his class, not just limited to but especially Bakugo, are finally understanding him on a level that he refused to understand himself on. The light comes back to his eyes because Izuku Midoriya has suffered, and everyone knows, and they still love him. Luckily, things will be ok because he is not alone. Bakugo’s there for him. 1-A’s there for him. They’ll heal together.

In conclusion, I believe that during fandom discussions about Bakugo’s apology that we should really take the time to realize just how charged his words are and how he is using his apology to build a level of understanding— not just simply to right a past wrong. He wants to right ALL the wrongs of Izuku’s life, and that can simply be done through empathy and understanding. You can’t undo the past, but you can help one-another heal, because in the words of Bakugo Katsuki, “I/we know.”— I/we get it, and we’re sorry you’ve gone through all that.

Before I go, I also just want to mention how Bakugo’s use of language in Japanese is noticeably softer than how he usually talks. He cares so much, and he wants to make that fact known. In addition, he uses Izuku’s first name, which as many of you already know is a huge deal in Japanese culture. It signifies intense closeness. Bakugo is once and for all reclaiming his status as Izuku’s childhood friend. This has already been happening for a while, but in this moment he finally wants to make that known to the people around him without shame or guilt. As he stands surrounded by water, he apologizes for not taking Izuku’s hand in the river. He also reclaims this moment by metaphorically taking Izuku’s hand in the form of the apology. It doesn’t matter anymore whether he physically takes his childhood friend’s hand, what matters is his intent and his want to connect. What matters is Bakugo Katsuki’s ability to never let Izuku go again.

This isn’t really necessarily meant to be shippy I just love character connections and quotes with multiple meanings. Also when I mention Deku’s pressure from OFA please don’t think that I’m bashing All Might. I love him I just think that some mistakes were made and Izuku just generally feels pressure from his role as the yielded of the quirk.

[hindahoney]

Thank you for your post about the word shiksa. I'd seen similar posts in the past - that you shouldn't call yourself that and it's not a term worth reclaiming - but none of those posts ever properly explained WHY. The best I could ever find was that it's often used to insultingly refer to converts that were married to or planning to marry Jewish men before their conversion as a way to imply their reasoning for becoming a Jew wasn't genuine enough. I didn't understand why that would be something that shouldn't be reclaimed. Knowing that it's a term meant to refer to people that fetishize Jews puts it in an ENTIRELY different light. At least, in my brain, it does. So, yeah, thanks for actually explaining your point.

"Shiksa" cannot be "reclaimed." It's not as if that word has a widely-known history or is used by a hegemonic population to oppress people. There's no need or use for reclamation. A gentile woman calling themselves a shiksa, knowing what it means, seriously makes me feel disgusted. It's the same as someone who fetishizes Asians proudly saying they have "Yellow Fever."

I've never heard that phrase in reference to converts, only towards gentile women who seek out Jewish men specifically. It's more common than people would think. I once invited a Christian friend to a Purim party, where she told me she was just trying to take home one of the men there. This same friend told me she broke up with her Jewish boyfriend because he had been to Israel. Suffice to say we aren't friends anymore. It's incredibly common for (white) Christians specifically to fetishize Jews. It's just expected that all of the Jewish dating apps are unusable because they're full of WASPs looking for Jews.

While there isn't a widely used term for gentile men who fixate on Jewish women, I have seen the term "bagel chasers." I don't like it, because it makes it seem more cutesy and funny than it actually is in real life. It's deeply unsettling and uncomfortable when I'm working and men approach me saying they'd convert for me, or think that saying "shabbat shalom" to me on a Tuesday will make me believe they're also Jewish (and thus someone I should date). There's not a single part of me that thinks it's funny. They see Jews as a novelty and not as people. It's less because they are interested in us, they're interested in conquering us.

[thestrangestthing89]

Here is the thing about all of the "this fandom is racist/misogynistic/ableist etc. claims that people keep making simply because the cast said things they didn't agree with.... A lot of it, NOT ALL OF IT but a lot of it, is coming from people who are constantly picking fights with people on here over EVERYTHING. I'm not suggesting that there aren't legitimate claims of those things in this fandom. There are. Fandoms are known for not being the most welcoming of places. They are a large group of people with different backgrounds and they aren't all going to agree and get along. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but some people get hostile about it and cross a line. And I know members of the cast have brought up serious problems they have had with the fandom (Caleb dealt with horrible racist comments that he has spoken about in the past, for example). People should be able to talk about these things. But I'm speaking from my own experience here, what I have witnessed in this fandom is people being constantly attacked every time they post anything at all, and it's coming from the faux progressives that think they are helping and calling out injustice when they aren't and it happens constantly. I have seen people screaming that people are ableist if they suggest that El shouldn't have a boyfriend because she is traumatized. When really they are just understanding her story and recognizing that that is not a relationship she needs right now. I have seen people get accused of ableism for suggesting El wasn't the main character as well. And also get accused of misogyny for this too. None of these terms apply to these situations. People just simply don't like the idea of those story lines and are trying to be morally superior about it. El not being the main character isn't misogynistic. A girl doesn't always have to be the main character. And her entire character arc has been about her learning to reclaim her childhood and stop trying to be "normal" and get a boyfriend like everyone else. That's the story. People acknowledging this aren't ableist or misogynistic and neither are the writers. There is nothing offensive about telling this kind of story. I have seen people trying to talk about Lucas's character arc and they get similar backlash. I have seen people mention that Lucas has been playing his Ranger role (the boys are always their D&D characters) and that's why he's helping Mike in S3. The Ranger is better at tactical things than the Paladin. It's his role within the story. But people want to insist it's racist (it's more complicated than this). Lucas is also playing basketball in S4 because it falls into the conformity theme of the series - he chose to play something that his mostly white town would be more comfortable with him doing. He wants people to like him. The show often plays into stereotypes with characters intentionally to make a point. But no one is allowed to mention or acknowledge any of this because the faux activists will scream at you until you stop caring enough to post.

So while there are people who are legitimately horrible, there are a lot of people who have been trying to have these conversations for a while but can't because hysterical teenagers curse you off the second you add any nuance to a conversation. This isn't helpful to any of the causes they claim to care about. All it does is stop people from being able to look at the show critically. A thing you are supposed to do because it is a show that is meant to be analyzed. There are a lot of people simply not understanding what they are watching or that this show is making a point about society and as a result, they are going to write the characters going through experiences that are uncomfortable and unpleasant to watch sometimes. They aren't doing it to be funny or because they are oblivious - I don't believe they are. There is a lot of evidence to the contrary. But they can't shout people down the second someone says something that goes against claims of discrimination. Sometimes those claims aren't correct. And if people actually want to fix a problem they need to learn how to have a conversation about those things without flipping the fuck out at everyone. They aren't helping anyone by behaving that way. They do the opposite in fact. Because they are screaming that every damn thing is racism/misogyny/ableism etc when not everything is and it makes it so much harder for anyone to actually talk about any of these things because they are worried they are going to get screamed at by teenagers who clearly have no first hand experience with any of these things. But have taken it upon themselves to be The Social Justice Warriors of the fandom when no one asked them to be and they are clearly not qualified to do so. And also - none of these social justice warriors give a fuck about all the anti-Semitism in the fandom because most of it is coming from them. But they've made a lot of people very uncomfortable. It's clear they don't actually care about people being mistreated. Because, for the most part, they are the ones doing it (not always, but a lot of the time). They need to learn to have difficult conversations without cursing people off. And when a group of marginalized people is saying "hey your language is making Jewish people uncomfortable in the fandom" the response should not have ever been "fuck around, find out". Those people aren't anti-violence. They aren't anti-discrimination. They never have been. They have always been the people in the fandom who make everyone not want to post here. And it's not because they telling us all hard truths we need to face. It's because they are bigots. And they hide behind marginalized groups and use them to justify spreading hate.