#because honestly kid way to make yourself a target

[reidrum]

all yours if you want me | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

a/n: i think i really like this but if i proofread it one more time im gonna hate it so im just putting it out now lol. this is the full version of the sneak peak i posted last week woohoo ! also this is my first time writing smut so im sorry if it sucks but i hope y'all like it <3

summary: bau's got their first day off in weeks, and you're heading straight to the club to have some fun, you just didn't expect your coworker/crush to also be there while you're trying to forget him.

cw: 18+ minors pls dni, smut, p in v (dont be silly wrap ur willy), munch!spence, lowkey softdom!spence, suggestive dancing in public spaces, minor insecure reader, reader is afab and wears a dress and heels

wc: 4.6k

pls let me know if i forgot anything and let me know your thoughts pleaseee xx

it was the first friday night off you and any of the team members of the bau had in a long time, and you all were determined to spend it well. jj and hotch immediately went home to their families, penelope and emily decided they were going home to get some well needed rest, rossi went to a cigar club, not really sure what derek and spencer ended up doing, but you knew what you were doing tonight.

you’d had a long standing invitation from one of your college friends for a club night, and at first you’d decline because you’d get swept away on a case, and because you were hopelessly pining after your hot nerdy coworker dr. spencer reid.

spencer was smart in many ways, three PhDs, countless published papers, not to mention that eidetic memory of his. there was one thing that spencer was just fucking dumb at, and it was your shameless flirting at him.

like it annoyed you how clueless he was. you’d bring him coffee in the mornings with hearts drawn on it, fall asleep on his shoulder on the jet rides back, even complimenting his outfit or looks which made him flustered, but still nothing. your harbored crush seemed to stay just that, a crush. and while you’d hope he would get the hint he just hasn’t.

so you pull out your phone to text your friend. 

“barry’s at 9?”

“oh my god FINALLY. i’m there i'll pick you up at 8:30.”

you grin to yourself, this was good. you needed to get out and unwind for once.

you drive home quickly to hop in the shower before your friend comes to get you. throwing on a silk slip dress as your outfit of choice, you slipped your heels on and met your friend in the car.

walking into the club, you’re met with the thumping bass of the music playing and the staunch smell of alcohol, sweat, and sex.

it made you think about the last time you got laid, which was a really long time ago. and honestly you wanted to sleep with spencer so bad you hadn’t been making advances elsewhere. but that was going to change tonight, you were determined to have good slutty fun, and hopefully get laid.

your friend grabbed your hand and beelined to the bar, ordering two tequila shots each. once you downed them you moved to the dance floor and started preying for a target. as you’re scanning the room, you notice a familiar looking mop of brown hair standing next to bald headed man. a combo you knew all too well.

-

derek morgan was a player. and before he’s a player, he’s a damn good friend. which was his reasoning for dragging spencer out of his apartment to come out to the club and have fun.

“but i can have fun at home by myself morgan.”

“kid, you need to let loose once in a while. you are young, i’m just helping you take advantage of it.”

-

so now spencer’s at the club (a sentence he still struggles to believe) wearing trousers and navy button down shirt to which morgan had popped the top buttons open because ‘it gives the ladies a sneak peek’. he just rolled his eyes and went with it. he’s nursing a shirley temple at the bar, perusing the environment when he comes across a pair of eyes he knows like the back of his hand.

when you recognize the amber eyes you couldn’t believe your luck. of course, on the one night you’d decided to explore other options he shows up in the least expected place for him to be. so much for getting over him, you think. shyly raising your hand to wave, spencer returns the gesture. morgan takes note, “who are you waving t- oh, pretty girl is here huh pretty boy?” he nudges him.

a blush raises on his face. spencer thought you were attractive, like really attractive. you were a great addition to the bau and he admired your work ethic a lot, the day you walked into the bullpen wearing a fitted pantsuit had his own pants growing real tight. he still remembers when you introduced yourself and he couldn’t even get up without exposing himself. you thankfully didn’t think it was weird, and spencer was relieved when it was finally time to go home. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have nights where he wished you were the one finishing him off and not his rough hands. he didn’t think you’d like someone like him, and took all of your ‘advances’ as morgan calls them, as acts of kindness.

morgan laughs as he watches spencer’s iq deteriorate to below 50 staring at you, “do you what you gotta do man. but you better be going home with someone tonight okay?”

spencer nods and nurses his drink a bit and looks back to morgan to realize he’s already off dancing with some girls in the corner. damn.

after your distanced encounter with spencer, you decide it’s time to move on and have some fun on your own. you couldn’t be hung up on him anymore, at least not tonight. tonight was for bad decisions.

good thing bad decision walked up to you asking to dance, whatshisname leads you to the dance floor and puts his hands on your hips, swaying to the beats of t-pain and pitbull.

you didn’t know, but spencer was watching every move you made. he watched you get led to the dance floor, the way he placed his hands right on your ass and squeezed, and how he turned you around so you were dancing on his front with your back. he gripped his glass so tight the bartender had to tell him he’d have to pay if it breaks.

he gets it, you’re attractive. this is the kind of thing that happens to people who look like you. who wouldn’t want you? but then he watched it happen a second time. and a third. and a fourth and fifth, till he just stopped counting at nine for his sanity.

spencer was not used to the green monster taking over him, but oh god was he fucking seething with jealousy.

you realized spencer was watching you by whatshisname number five. he hadn’t moved from his spot and he was constantly staring in your direction. deciding to do a little experiment, you played up your dancing a lot more, acting more flirtatious, dragging the guy’s hands further down, and letting out open mouthed moans that you knew spencer couldn’t hear but could definitely see. you watched as his jaw shifted and his knuckles turned white as you danced with each guy, realizing the growing effect that you now had on him.

by whatshisname number nine, you casted your hook. making sure to face spencer and meet his eyes, you watched as they darkened when he realized you were looking right at him. spencer might’ve brushed it off as a coincidence, but then you winked at him. and he realized what you were doing—you were taunting him, and fuck was it working for him. the bulge in his pants grew uncomfortable that he had to stand up to not draw so much attention to it under the bar lights. 

you watched him stand up and adjust himself and you threw your line. when he looked back up at you, you made a come here motion with your index finger and a bite of your lip. spencer’s eyes darkened impossibly more, he paid for his tab and strode over to you.

sinker.

he pulled you from the man behind you, who muttered a ‘what the fuck’ and moved away. spencer pulled you flush to his chest and with a low voice in the crest of your ear he whispered, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about dr. reid, could you explain it to me?”

spencer tightens his hold on you and ghosts over your ear once more, “this is a dangerous game you’re playing, sweetheart.”

“a game you joined the second you walked over here.”

he looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and matched the small smirk on your lips. game on.

the song changed to something with a more sultry beat, and you used the opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck and let his hands guide your hips to the music. while he wasn’t much of a dancer, he could definitely keep a beat. it didn’t prove to be so difficult when your chest was pushing up on his own that he was just waiting for them to spill out. he realized he could feel your hardened nipples through your slip, the nubs rubbing friction through the fabric of their clothes. he moaned internally while he gripped your hips to pull you even closer. it was clear spencer seemed to be getting comfortable with moving your body and holding you close, but you couldn’t let that happen.

before the second chorus you turn around in his arms so your back is pressed up against his front, and you start dancing on him.

spencer’s taken by surprise, something you felt when his hands faltered the confident rhythm it kept up, and while he watched you dance just like this with all those guys it’s like his mind is blank now.

you recognize the song playing, collide by justine skye & tyga, and use the sultry beat to your advantage. you move your ass hard on his front, feeling his length pressed between your cheeks. you gesture for him to lean his head down and he lets out a low groan as you whisper in his ear, “all that for me?”.

a primal instinct starts to take over spencer’s being, and he grips your hips to meet his rutting from behind. spencer was desperate for any friction that could soothe the growing ache in his pants. you grinned as you felt take what he needed from you. it was quickly wiped off your face when you felt his hands inching dangerously close to where you really wanted him.  you place your hands on his with surprise and look at him, “what are you doing?”

“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he threw back at you, “but if there’s something you’d like me to do, i’m all ears.” spencer grazes his fingers under the hem of your dress, toying with the lace band of your panties and slipping his fingers below it to stroke your inner thighs.

fuck. he turned it on you so fast it almost gave you whiplash. the provocative dancing was something you could handle, hell everyone on that dance floor was doing the same thing as you both. what you weren’t sure you could handle was him about to touch you in a public space. but, your body betrayed you as it turned you on to another plane. you look up at him with lust filled eyes and let out a breathy moan of his name. spencer collapses internally and stands his ground, “if you want something, beg me.”

spencer thinks he’s won the upper hand, and he’s feeling so smug behind you. he still thinks he has the upper hand until you reach down and place his middle and index finger in your mouth, circling your tongue around the digits.

“touch me.” you moan out, releasing his fingers.

spencer is dumbfounded how he’s the one about to burst out his pants when he made you beg for him. it should make him feel embarrassed at how close he was, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. not when you in his arms pleading him to do something. you sounded so pretty, and who was he to deny a pretty thing like you?

his fingers continue their journey down, outlining the lace trim resting on your thighs. he hooks his fingers on the fabric to pull it aside and slips into you, going at an aching pace to gather the wetness and groaning out, “jesus, you’re so wet, was this all for me? you needed my attention that bad, baby?”

you whimper and grip his hand even tighter because you’re not sure if your legs are holding out any longer. it’s all so overwhelming—having his hands down your panties in the middle of the dance floor, the lewdity of the noises in your ear, the hard length pressing desperately on your ass. this is all you’ve ever wanted from him, to want you. and now it’s happening, and your brain can’t fire the neurons fast enough to process the moment. instead your body responded with your skin heating up with anticipation, heart beating out as much adrenaline to keep up. the daze is getting foggier by the second as he trails his fingers up and down your slit, spreading the wetness and circling your clit on the way up. and you think you’re about to get accustomed to the pace he’s set, when he delves between your folds and you moan out loud so abruptly that the nearby patrons looked around wondering where it came from.

you can feel spencer’s shit eating grin behind you as he moves his head down to leave love bites on your neck. if he can feel your bluff dissipating, he’s not saying anything. his fingers set a painfully slow rhythm, and you grind down trying to get any more friction to reach your peak. he’s hitting you in all the right spots that make you see the stars and beyond, leaning your head back on his chest as you barrel towards your climax. you feel yourself mere seconds away from reaching, and spencer suddenly pulls his fingers out, making you whine out in protest, “wh- what are you doing?”

spencer grabs your wrist and starts dragging you through the sweaty bodies surrounding you, tightening his grip with a small smirk as he passes a few of the guys you were dancing with earlier. suckers.

he pushes the doors open with a force and while the cool air is attempting to return your body to homeostasis, the anticipation of where he’s going overtakes you, “spence, where are we going wh-“ you cut off your sentence with a gasp as he handles you flush to the door of his car. then it’s just silence for a few moments. no loud bass or weird dudes, just the two of you. the only sound that can be heard are your breaths competing for prominence. you look up at him and focus on the details of his face illuminated by the moonlight, trying to read his expression. his honeyed eyes have fully darkened to a lustful hickory, and suddenly you felt like a gazelle being preyed on by a lion.

he reaches into his pocket and unlocks the car with a soft beep. it’s the focused eyes on you that drive you to open the door, but it’s the subtle silent nod of his head towards the car that makes you move inside waiting for him to join you. he climbs in after you, shutting the door and locking it.

spencer moves to the middle seat and allows his legs to spread open, he taps his thighs and faintly says, “come here.”

you shuffle closer and swing your legs over him, your dress rising up a little as you fully sit on his clothed crotch. and now you realize the corporeality of the moment. it’s like, really real now. all this time pining after the boy genius with no luck and now he’s got you in the backseat of his car and your panties crooked, waiting for you to move. the bravado you wore and so tightly held onto for a majority of the night comes crashing down like a shattered vase, and you’re not sure if you have any more in you to salvage the pieces. you may be a profiler, but try as you might you are not a mind reader, yet you so desperately want to know what he’s thinking. is it too much to ask what this means? will it overwhelm him to say you’ve dreamt about this moment for many nights, and how those dreams went on till the early morning when he’d stay and brush your hair back with a temple kiss. the whispers of sweet nothings sticking to you like honey as you got ready for the day. are these questions you even want to know the answer to?

you may not be a mind reader, but he is dr. spencer reid, who noticed your demeanor change after too long of a silence.

“hey,” he holds your chin delicately to your eyes, “it’s okay if you want to stop, i’m sorry for tak-“

it’s your turn to cut him off, “no! no i, i still want this, i just,” you falter.

“just what, baby?” he coos softly.

it makes tears well up in your eyes, you hope he can’t see them, “i’ve just wanted this for so long, and it’s probably embarrassing that i’m admitting this now of all times, but i don’t know if i can handle this meaning more to me than it does to you.” you confess quietly.

spencer listens to your admission and gingerly resecures his arm behind you, a position he thinks is starting to become second nature. he rubs soft shapes into the small of your back, “what makes you think that?”

“because i basically threw myself at you tonight, and it seems to be the first time you noticed me.” you say halfheartedly. 

“you think i don’t notice you?” he whispers, leaning in to leave soft kisses in the crook of your neck. spencer is dumbfounded, confused at how you reached such a conclusion. but as a man of science, he feels there’s only one way to prove himself. he breathes your name out, “can i show you how much i notice you? please?”

you nod, at least you could commit this moment to memory if it was all you’d have left of him. he presses his lips to yours for the first time that night, your breath faltering as he becomes more feverous with his attacks. slotting his tongue with yours, your hands move up to his silky hair to take purchase in. he lets out a groan as he pulls back from you, “i need to taste you.”

he guides your body to lean back on the center console, the only way his tall figure would be able to accommodate this position. your legs are still split on either side of his legs, using your hands to prop yourself up to watch his movements. he hooks his fingers on the sides of your panties and slowly slides them down, moaning at the way your slick causes resistance as he pulls them off your legs. wrapping his arms under your thighs to lift you up to face level, he places small kisses on your inner thighs as he makes his way to your core. he places a final kiss on your center before licking a long stripe up to your clit. moaning out wantonly, he continues his ministrations and kitten licks all over you, circling back up to your clit after each round.

“spence..” you whine out. he moves his focus to your clit, circling and sucking till you’re squirming in his arms so much has to grip your thighs. your hands are fussing through his hair, gripping and pulling to find something to ground you. spencer then slips his fingers into your core for the second time tonight, and you lose it.

he’s pumping his fingers in and out, that all you can hear is the squelching noises of your cunt. adding another one, you’re unable to stay still anymore, as if you were before.

“oh my fuck, spencer. i’m gonna cu-, cum. please don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop.” you moan out filthy.

spencer unlatches his mouth for a moment, “come for me, baby.”

your orgasm crashes down on you like a wave breaking on the shore. it’s all consuming, leaving you shaking and breathless and he lifts his head from between your legs and you see his chin glistening with you in the moonlight. the sight itself is so pornographic, you can’t help but shuffle back onto his lap to crash your lips back to his, tasting yourself on his tongue. he tangles his hands in your hair as you move yours between you both, unzipping his trousers to palm him through his boxers.

he breakily moans in your ear as you slowly pull back the band to take him out. the sight takes you by surprise, you knew he was big, you felt it on your ass while you were dancing. but seeing how it compared to your hand had you bulging your eyes.

“you’re so big,” you whisper. how the hell was that fitting inside of you?

spencer the mind reader places his hand on top of yours as you lazily stroke him, “we’ll go slow, don’t worry.” he can’t help but feel his ego inflate to the skies, he can’t remember the last time he had someone look intimidated by him.

nodding faintly, you gather the spit in your mouth and let it fall between you both to land on the flushed pink tip. you spread it up and down his length, setting a slow pace that had him moaning expletives in your ear.

“oh-, ohhh, fuck baby. you’re so good at that holy shit,” he says trying to hold himself together. you give him a few more pumps before lifting your hips up to guide him inside you. you move his tip to your entrance, rubbing it teasingly before spencer places his hands on your sides to stabilize you, and slowly sink you down onto him.

the second his tip pushes past your folds, you both moan out in harmony. placing your hands on his shoulders you leverage yourself to sink down further inch by inch, until your core is flush with the base of his thighs.

spencer is a man of many words, maybe too many. but right now the only word he can remember is your name as he watched you take his length whole inch by inch slowly losing any restraint he had left. the pressure his cock had inside of you was heavenly. you’d never felt so full, and you could tell he was trying so hard to stay still as you adjusted above him.

when you bottom out spencer throws his head back against the seat, “oh that’s it, good girl,” you clenched around him. “you okay?”

you nod in response, ignoring the way the term of endearment sent flutters to your heart, and attempt an experimental rock of your hips, causing spencer’s head to whip up and meet your lust blown eyes with his own. he adjusts his hands on the sides of your thighs and starts helping you move up and down on his length, setting a brutally slow pace.

you rest your head and moan into the crook of his neck as he continues his movements, “spencer, please, more, i can take it.”

he still can’t believe what’s happening right now, all those days he spent thinking about you in the bullpen, at home, everywhere really, and here you were begging on top of him to fuck you good.

“you still think i don’t notice you?” he says into your ear, “i have dreamt about what you’d look like bouncing on my cock, and you are blowing any idea i had out of the water.”

you whimper as he continues, “and when i’m not thinking about ruining you, i am in awe at how you walk through life. you bring so much joy everywhere you go, it’s a blessing to be able to experience you.” he says through shaky breaths.

the praise goes straight to core, with some traveling to your heart again, and you’re not sure how much longer you can hold on before you unravel physically and emotionally.

his hands are guiding you up and down at a harder pace now, “so,” thrust. “you still think,” thrust, “i don’t notice you?” he thrusts into you once more and holds you down, making sure you’re looking directly at him, “it was never an option to brush past you, you are everything to me. i didn’t know how to show that without overwhelming you. i’m sorry.”

tears well up in your eyes again, spencer notices this time and presses a small kiss on your forehead. all your senses feel like they’re in overdrive, unable to comprehend anything right now. your skin feels like it’s on fire as he rolls your hips faster to meet his ruts.

“spence, i- i’m so close.” you whine desperately. 

he slips his hand between you both to rub your clit, “i know baby, i’ve got you. let go for me.”

his words were enough to break the dam, your second climax of the night hurling towards you. the white hot feeling overtook your whole body, shaking and clenching above him. your grip on him was threateningly vicious, probably leaving deep crescent marks in the nape of his shoulders. you wish the euphoria would last forever if it meant having spencer like this. as you came down from your high, the two of you were still moving together, slowly rocking your hips to meet each other. once you were grounded again, you pushed through the sensitivity in your core to rise up on his length, just barely leaving the tip in before you slid back down fast and hard, now focusing on spencer reaching his peak.

“oh jesus, fuck.” spencer moaned out brokenly.

“come on spence you can do it,” you taunted as you clenched down, “come inside me, make a mess of me please.” a rush of confidence flowed through as you whispered into his ear, and spencer held your hips to help you bounce faster on him.

spencer let out a loud groan as you felt the hot spurts coat your insides, he was leaving matching crescent marks on the sides of your hips as the ones on his shoulders, making sure all of him was left in you. feeling him soften inside, you remained on his lap with him sheathed in you. you both are breathing heavily, leaning back to hopefully give you both some relief from the sex filled air. looking around the car you realize that all the windows are fogged up and let out a tiny giggle.

“what’s so funny?” he looks up at you slightly amused and very out of breath.

“no it’s just, the windows are such a dead giveaway for what we just did in here.” 

“eh, i don’t really care what people think.”

“gasp, dr. reid wants to let the world know he has car sex with random girls?”

he leans in to bite your neck playfully, “random? did nothing i said during all that register for you?”

you yelp and attempt to play dumb, “actually i don’t remember a word, you might have to jog my memory. maybe even recreate the circumstances to help with cementing it. i read about situational memorization where certain scenarios are easily remembered when there’s a big event to anchor it to.”

he swears he could’ve melted on the spot at you explaining a concept you’d read about to him, “careful sweetheart, calling it a big event might inflate my ego a little too high.”

“i mean, i can tell it worked,” you tease as you feel him harden inside of you again, “so tell me genius, how many times does a scenario have to happen for me to remember the information?”

“i guess we’ll have to find out, don’t we?”

[thewertsearch]

AG: I used to really like him and always wanted to help him get stronger, so that he might stand a fucking chance to actually make it on our world.

It's honestly tragic. You probably did like him initially - but, as a consequence of your worldview, your genuine attempts to make him stronger were warped into abuse. He was never going to internalize your lessons, because the manner in which you were delivering then were far too cruel to be effective.

AG: 8ut he was just soooooooo weak and indecisive. He wouldn't change!

Due to her cruelty, Vriska completely failed to impart the lessons that she was trying to - and, of course, she blames Tavros, for refusing to be bullied into changing.

The more he 'failed' her tests, the angrier she got. The angrier she got, the more deliberate her abuse became.

Until the cruelty was the point.

AG: And when he tried to change, it was too little and too l8. Always l8. L8ey L8ey L88888888. AG: Too l8 to kiss me. AG: Too l8 to kill me. AG: He couldn't do it when I really needed him to. So when I saw he was actually serious a8out trying to kill me now of all times… AG: I just got SO AAAAAAAANGRY.

Anyone with a brain could tell you Tavros isn't a killer. He's a gentle troll, and cold-blooded murder would traumatize him.

So Vriska trapped him in a situation where not murdering her would also traumatize him, and got angry when he chose the wrong trauma. This scenario was unwinnable by design, just like their last FLARP game.

Don’t kid yourself, Vriska. You were screwing Tavros around until the end.

AG: I know our races are completely different. And I really h8 the idea of you thinking worse of me 8ecause of this. AG: 8ut I don't have anyone else to talk to a8out it!

Holy hell, Vriska’s really going through it.

The worst part is, John is the only confidant she has. She's incredibly lucky he's as easygoing as he is.

EB: i bet karkat would listen. EB: or what about terezi? she's pretty nice, isn't she? […] AG: For one thing, they would pro8a8ly just 8e pissed off at me for killing Tavros. AG: And more importantly, there's no waaaaaaaay I could tell them how I really feel a8out it.

I think I'm starting to understand why Vriska's begun to change.

So far, Vriska's life has been very simple. She killed because she had to, and she's convinced herself that it's the only correct way to live. A brutal life makes you strong, after all, and a peaceful life is a burden.

Alternian culture validates this worldview, as every troll is expected to take part in the Empire's conquests. Her nation wouldn't want her to stop killing - it'd just want her to switch targets. According to the world around her, Vriska's way of life is correct. She's never been meaningfully challenged on her beliefs.

Until today.

Today, Vriska has been confronted by a species who don't want to kill. A species seemingly populated by wimps like Tavros, who all watch ridiculous movies and believe in lame nonsense like friendship.

A species of weaklings, who weren't blessed with an upbringing as violent as hers.

And a species that succeeds anyway.

I think humanity, and John in particular, have called into question some of the most fundamental truths of Vriska's existence.

And something inside her has just said ‘w8 a second........’

[shorthaltsjester]

seeing people use the various pinterest “pain that just made this person kind” quotes about laudna over the past few months truly grind my gears. like. textually no actually all that pain has irrevocably changed laudna in ways that are not kind, has changed her ways that means she dehumanizes herself, views herself as a dead end unworthy/incapable of having a life let alone a happy ending, and she can be calculated and cruel like. it is true that she is playful, but (and this is a theme across all fandoms about women in fiction honestly but especially in cr fandom) the reason her kindness is resonant is because we see that it’s not the only option that she’s resorted to out of her own pain, in fact it’s probably the hardest option faced with the trauma that she has. like the reason the moment in whitestone when she apologizes to percy because she recognizes they are both in pain from the same source, to me that’s as resonant as it is because up until the moment she made that choice to be kind, it seemed equally possible that she would lash out because of the different places they currently are in and that her pain still takes up such a huge role in her life.

this is probably a bigger issue i have with the notion of pain making people kind as if it the people in question have no choice but especially in cases like laudna where currently we’re seeing exactly how unkind her pain can make her — not in a Shes Evil way but just in a. it isn’t actually kind at all to hate yourself even if it makes you docile or willing to bend yourself to the plans of (even well intentioned) others. like, it wasn’t actually the years of solitude and delilah manipulation that made laudna kind, and in fact i’d argue that textually we’ve only seen proof that those years have made it harder for laudna to be kind in a way she might’ve been when she was still matilda; i think particularly of her attitude with children that would be taken more kindly from someone more alive and someone less literally haunting. that also shines in the whitestone exchange with percy, because it’s the recognition that underneath the cold and calculating city leader and the haunting witch come back from the dead again, they’re just two kids who had the unfortunate fate of having been targets for delilah briarwood, as different as the reasons for that were, they still both have to live with the pain, and they both likely would’ve been much kinder people if they didn’t have to.

kindness is a social skill that requires both practice/maintenance and awareness of those who you direct it at, neither of which are particular strengths of someone who has spent 30 years alone with her own voice mediated through a rat puppet or her patron’s in her head. and i do think it’s important for recognize that laudna tries to be kind, but i think the tragedy of her story and the complexity of her character is harshly undersold if you look at her and just ascribe her to the “all that pain and it just made her kind.” it makes the most interesting parts of laudna flat and static and worst of all, agencyless.

[bucksangel]

milk and sugar

pairing: alpha!steve x alpha!bucky, alpha!steve x artist!omega!reader x alpha!bucky (poly) - omegaverse!au part two

word count: 5.1k

summary: “Are you nervous?” Steve asks, voice soft and caring. His hand settles on your arm, and Bucky appears beside you to place his hand on your back, as well as take one of your hands in his metal one. And despite your earlier anxiety, you mean it wholeheartedly when you say, “no.” or - it’s your first date with your alphas.

warnings: fluff fluff and more fluff, reader has insecurities, steve and bucky are adorable and caring, steve is very nervous bc he’s a romantic, like it’s almost unbearable how much of a pure puppy he is, bucky is extremely fond and a little teasing (bc of course he is), omegaverse, kissing, there are bits where it’s just steve and bucky

a/n: this fic doesn’t contain smut, however, due to the nature of my blog this is strictly 18+

milk and honey masterlist | main masterlist | tip jar

‘Good morning, darling.’

That’s the text you received from Bucky at nine that morning - in the group chat he’d made with Steve and you. And while you normally sleep in on Sundays since your studio is closed, you’d woken up early - seven to be exact -  due to the anxiety you’ve been feeling ever since your art class ended yesterday.

Truthfully, you didn’t really sleep well anyway. Going on a date with not just one, but two Alphas at the same time has you on edge - though, not in a bad way. No, not at all. These are the good kinds of nerves, the exciting kind.

Well, okay, not all of your nerves are positive. Being naturally shy and reserved has caused you to overthink every single interaction you’ve had with the Alphas, both together and separately. And now that you’re going on this date, you can’t help the way your insecurities come creeping in faster and faster as it gets closer.

Because what if they decide they don’t like you after they actually get the chance to know you? What if they don’t even pay much attention to you and treat this as a date with just them since that must be what they’re more used to? What if you say or do something wrong and they get scared away?

Now, logically, you know those first two outcomes are absurd. Over the past few weeks, they’ve each shown extreme interest in getting to know you, they show how much care they have for you, and oh boy does that knowledge make your heart flutter. It makes you feel good, really good about yourself.

But that last point? Well, that is a big insecurity of yours. As a child, you weren’t that open and didn’t have many friends. And it was hard to make new ones when you would always stutter and trip over yourself, causing many of the kids you’d gone to school with to laugh at you. You were so shy, always the shortest kid in your class which made you an easy target for bullying, especially since you couldn’t hold a conversation well and you’d constantly accidentally bump into someone. It’s honestly a surprise that Tori had stuck around this long.

And, to be completely honest, you think you could deal with them maybe not finding you as interesting as they probably thought, maybe even them telling you that it just wouldn’t work out. Yes, it would hurt for a while, but you would deal with it. However, you absolutely could not live with the Alphas finding you annoying. Because this whole thing already feels like a fever dream, and if you were to fuck it up by doing or saying something embarrassing it would only serve as proof that you aren’t fit for Alphas like them.

It’s nine-fifteen when you respond with ‘good morning :)’

And not even a minute later, Steve texts back. ‘how are you feeling about today?’

Well, isn’t that a good question? Because you want nothing more than to go on this date, you want this to work out so badly that you feel like your heart might burst out of your chest. But, again, those fucking insecurities are messing with your mind.

It’s maybe a few minutes later when you reply with ‘Feeling okay, you guys?’

A bubble pops up at the bottom of the text thread, Bucky typing for a good thirty seconds before it disappears. And it stays like that for another full minute, your heart hammering in your chest as your anxieties are jumping to the worst possible outcome. What if they cancel? What if they-

Your phone screen comes to life when Steve calls you. He’s calling you. And for a moment you want to let it go to voicemail, you don’t want them to hear how nervous you are. But you also don’t want them to think you’re ignoring them, so you answer with a timid, “Hello?”

“Hi, honey,” Steve says calmly, his smooth voice doing a good job of soothing some of your worries.

“Hi!” You hear Bucky yell in the background, causing you to giggle.

“Hi, guys.”

You hear a thud in the background before Bucky yells “Put her on speaker, punk!” And then you can hear both of them clearly, Steve laughing as Bucky huffs in what you assume is a fake annoyance.

“So, uh, I’m just wondering. Um, where are we going today?” Mentally, you curse yourself for being so awkward, for tripping over your words while talking to the two most handsome Alphas you’ve ever met.

“That’s a surprise, honey,” Steve says, the smile on his face is evident in his tone. “Just wear something comfortable.”

“And warm!” Bucky adds, coming closer to the phone. “We don’t need you getting cold, okay?”

The hint of authority in his voice makes your heartbeat pick up speed and the care that’s so evident in just the way he speaks kind of makes you want to cry a little. When was the last time any potential partner showed even these small acts of concern for your well-being? Too long.

“Yes, sir,” You joke, having to bite your lip to keep your smile from widening even further when both Alphas laugh. Butterflies are swirling in your stomach, forming a tornado of anticipation and nerves for the day’s festivities.

“Alright,” Steve says with a hint of laughter. “We’ll let you go get ready and we’ll pick you up in two hours, okay?”

Two hours? That seems like too long yet not long enough. You’ve already showered, all you really need to do is find something to wear and then fix your hair - maybe throw on some mascara. But, still. Two hours seems like the perfect amount of time to have a full-on breakdown over this date. But at least that should also give you some time to recover from said breakdown.

“Yeah, that works!” Internally, you cringe at how eager you sound. Because even though you’re nervous beyond belief, and a tiny part of you wants to cancel the date out of fear of anything embarrassing happening, you don’t think you’d be able to live with yourself if you let these two slip through your fingers without giving it a fighting chance. 

“Great,” Bucky says, clearly smiling. “Just send us your address and we’ll be there.”

Once you bid your goodbyes to each other you make sure to send them your address before deciding to freak out over what to wear. Luckily for you, and as though the universe knows you need the help, your doorbell rings soon after. Confused as to who would be at your door this early, you make your way to the door, and when you open it you see Tori standing on the other side with a wide smile.

“Alright, girl,” She says happily, ignoring the incredulous look on your face as she pushes past you to walk into your apartment. “We have to get you ready, where are they taking you?”

“Hello to you too, Tori,” you say with a slight roll of your eyes as you close the door.

“Hey, babe!” Tori grabs your wrist and all but yanks you towards your room, not really caring about the fact that you’re nearly tripping over yourself in an effort to keep up. When you both get to your room she lets go of your arm and heads for your closet.

“So, where are you guys going?”

“I don’t know, they just said to dress warm and comfortable.” Your shoulders shrug, fingers nervously fiddling with each other. You’re not too sure what exactly to wear based on those being the only two requests. Sure, you have plenty of sweaters and jackets and scarves - it’s New York after all - but you don’t know what will impress the Alphas.

You want to impress them so badly. You don’t want them to regret asking you out, and while clothing choices aren’t a ‘make or break’ type of thing it’s still important to you that you look the best you possibly can. After all, anyone who’s seen Steve and Bucky in person would agree that they’re most definitely the two most handsome men to ever exist.

Something soft hitting you in the face knocks you out of your thoughts.

“Hey!” You yelp, looking at the ground to see the thing that hit you - your light brown sweater with a cute graphic of a pumpkin patch on the front. Seconds later, a pair of leggings hit your chest. “Tori!”

Tori simply laughs, then heads to your shoe rack next to the closet door.

“How do you know this will be good for the date?” You ask as you pick up the sweater to inspect it as though you haven’t worn it hundreds of times. But, again, today needs to go perfectly so any stains you might’ve missed would not go down well with you.

“I don’t,” She admits with a shrug of her shoulders. “But that sweater accentuates your boobs and the leggings make your ass look great.”

Your whole body goes hot, the implication of them looking at those parts of your body doesn’t make you shrink away like it normally would, though you can barely stop your insecurities about your body from throwing the items to the side and picking something else to prevent that from happening.

“I-I don’t know, Tori…” You sigh, going over to your bed and sitting down on the edge. “What if they don’t like it? I mean, they’re-”

“Stop it,” Tori says forcefully, walking over to stand in front of you. “You’re beautiful and kind and wonderful and they’re going to love you. And if they don’t, then that’s not your fault. As long as you give it your all, everything will be fine.”

Coming closer, she places her hands on your shoulders so she can shake you a little bit. “I love you, girl. You’re my best friend and I want to see you happy. And it seems like they make you happy, but you make them happy too. I’ve seen it in the way they look at you, how they talk to you. It’s going to be fine, babe. I promise.”

After a long pause where you think over her words, you decide that she’s right - at least about your feelings. You like them so fucking much, so it wouldn’t be fair to them or yourself if you didn’t try your best.

“Okay… Okay, then. Let’s get me ready.”

And with that, Tori smiles brightly, leaning down to squeeze you in a tight hug before releasing you.

____________

It’s a few minutes before eleven when Bucky and Steve park out front of your apartment building. Steve is practically vibrating out of his skin, Bucky even had to convince his mate that he should drive to pick you up since Steve could barely keep his knees from bouncing.

“Baby,” Bucky says, shutting off the engine and twisting in his seat to face Steve. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to just be ourselves and treat her like she deserves, there’s no way she’s going to not like us.”

Steve nods, though he doesn’t look super convinced. It’s clear from how he spent fifteen minutes this morning in the flower shop picking out the perfect bouquet for you that he really, really wants this to work. And even though he doesn’t show it, Bucky knows Steve would be heartbroken if it didn’t. His mate’s always been a softie, and there’s something about you that makes him feel different - better than any other omega ever could.

Bucky knows exactly how he feels. Because, although he’s not as outwardly anxious, he just knows that you’re perfect for them, and he wants to do everything he can to make you see that they can take care of you, they can protect and love you. Your smile and sweet giggle haunt his dreams, his nightmares have long been replaced with his memories of him and Steve - and now you. He can’t help but imagine what it would be like to wake up next to you and his Alpha, to cuddle with you two in your nest as you all trade kisses and talk about anything and everything.

“You’re sure?” Steve asks with a timid voice, fiddling with the flowers in his lap. “I - we really like her.”

Bucky sighs, then reaches over the console to place his hand on the back of his mate's neck in a comforting manner. And even though it’s uncomfortable, Bucky leans over and presses a soft kiss to Steve’s lips.

“I’m sure, Stevie.”

Steve sighs too, leaning forward to kiss Bucky again before pulling back.

“Okay, Buck.”

With that, they both share a small smile and then get out of the car. It’s about a minute-long elevator ride up to your floor, Bucky holding his mate’s free hand the entire way and sending him feelings of calmness through their bond. It works until they get to your front door because now Steve is practically fumbling with the flowers as he figures out the best way to hold them while Bucky knocks.

It’s about a minute later when the door swings open, but it’s not you. It’s Tori with a wide, knowing smirk on her face.

“Hello, boys,” She says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Those for her?” She nods towards the sunflowers and daisies Steve is holding.

“They are,” Bucky says with a smile of his own. Glancing at Steve to see him nod. “Is she ready?”

“Yes!” You say, quickly running up behind Tori to gently push her to the side and give her a side glare. You’re fiddling with your clothes, tugging at the bottom of the sweater in order to smooth out the fabric.

However, in the Alphas’ eyes, there’s no need for you to do so. Through their bond both of them feel the other go kind of dumb - you always look pretty but today’s outfit just hits them differently. Your eyeliner makes the color of your eyes pop, and the shiny lipgloss makes your lips nearly impossible to not kiss.

They don’t, though. Not yet. The last thing either of them wants to do is make you uncomfortable, especially with Tori standing behind you. So, instead, Bucky smiles and elbows Steve to get him out of his trance.

“Hello, honey,” Bucky says, his smile turning into a smirk when you fail to suppress a squeak.

“H-hi, guys,” You say nervously with a small smile. “Are those for me?” You ask when you notice the flowers in Steve’s hand.

“Oh, um, yes,” Steve stutters ever so slightly, reaching out to hand you the bouquet. “You once said you love Sunflowers.”

____________

“You once said you love Sunflowers.”

Something about this gesture makes you want to tear up. Flowers may not be a big deal to some people, but they mean everything to you. Receiving gifts from partners has been rare for you, so the beauty of the petals and knowing that they’re for you just makes you preen a little bit.

“I do,” You say softly, almost like you can’t believe he remembered. “They’re beautiful, thank you. Really.”

“Just like you,” Steve blurts out before a redness covers his cheeks.

And you absolutely cannot be blamed for the embarrassing squeak you let out. You try being called beautiful by Steve fucking Rogers and not want to bury your face in his neck to inhale his scent.

“Th-thank you,” You say with a giggle, handing the flowers to Tori and giving her a grateful smile as she gives you a quick kiss on your cheek.

“You guys have fun,” She teases, waving you off with a smile. “Treat her well or you’ll have hell to pay.”

“Of course,” Bucky says with an assuring nod. “Wouldn’t treat her with anything but care.” He says this while looking at you though, the twinkle in his eyes making you want to bare your neck to him.

When the door closes behind you, you step closer to the Alphas.

“Are you nervous?” Steve asks, voice soft and caring, though clearly a little anxious. His hand settles on your arm, and Bucky appears beside you to place his hand on your back, as well as take one of your hands in his metal one.

And despite your earlier anxiety, you mean it wholeheartedly when you say, “No.” How can you be nervous now when the feeling of the men’s warm hands on you and their clear concern for your wellbeing makes your heartbeat quicken in anticipation?

“Let’s go?” You ask, face growing warm in slight embarrassment for your enthusiasm.

“Let’s go,” Both Alphas say in unison. And then all of you are off to the truck - a very nicely kept, sleek black truck. Steve opens the back door for you before, to your surprise, sliding in next to you.

“We agreed he could sit in the back with you on the way there as long as I could sit next to you on our way back,” Bucky pipes up at your questioning glance.

Feelings of warmth fill your entire being, and you already know that today is going to be the most fun you’ve had in a while.

____________

It’s about a thirty-five-minute drive before you finally arrive at a park - a beautiful stretch of the greenest grass you’ve ever seen with orange and red-leafed trees surrounding two sides of it. It’s big, but if you look close enough you can make out a trail off to the left. That half hour was, surprisingly to you, filled with pleasant conversation. Now, your previous interactions with the men proved that they were wonderful company, but you’re surprised that you’re not as nervous as you thought you’d be. Everything was moving smoothly, there wasn’t even a single moment of awkward silence.

“We’re here,” Bucky says, pulling into a free parking spot closest to the entrance of the trail. Steve opens the door as Bucky gets out as well and goes around to the back of the truck. And Steve, ever the gentleman, holds your hand as he helps you climb out of the backseat, only letting go when you begin smoothing out your clothes.

“Are we ready?” Bucky appears next to you holding a large blanket and a stereotypical wicker basket.

A small smile forms on your face, and your heartbeat increases ever so slightly. How are they so fucking sweet?

“Yes!” Immediately, your face goes hot, self-conscious of your enthusiasm. But the Alphas don’t seem to mind, in fact, Steve takes the blanket from under Bucky’s arm and tucks it under his own, then grabs your hand and intertwines your fingers together.

“Let’s go then,” Steve says, smiling softly down at you.

With that, the three of you head off to the trail, walking under colorful oak trees that flank both sides of the dirt path. A comfortable silence falls over all of you, only the sounds of birds chirping filling the air. You walk for a few minutes, the leaves crunching under your feet as you take in the beauty surrounding you, your eyes wide with wonder.

The environment is comforting, calm, puts you at ease in a way you don’t normally experience. It’s freeing to feel so content - so happy. It takes about five minutes before you come upon a set of wooden stairs leading down to the most beautiful lake you’ve ever seen. The water is nearly clear, the colorful trees reflecting over the surface, and even though it’s a clear day out, you can’t help but notice the golden hue filling the air. You don’t even notice you’ve stopped walking until Steve tugs on your hand.

“Do you like it?” He asks, almost nervous as he waits for your reaction.

“I…” You trail off, tears filling your eyes. This whole thing is just - just perfect. “I love it,” you say as you look at Steve, a wide smile spreading across your face. And you look at Bucky when you say, “It’s perfect.”

____________

“It’s perfect.”

Bucky can’t help but let out a small sigh of relief. They’d both wracked their brains trying to figure out where to take you, what to do. They want to wow you, to show you that they can - and hopefully will get the chance to provide for you, they can make you happy. You’ll never go without, if you want something, they will figure out a way to get it.

“Good,” Steve says softly, smiling down at you before looking up at Bucky and nodding his head.

With that, the three of you make your way down the stairs, Steve holding on to your hand tightly to make sure you don’t fall, and Bucky places his free hand on your back. He can hear how your heartbeat speeds up when he does so and tries so hard not to puff out his chest when you glance up at him through your eyelashes coyly.

Once you’re down by the lake, the men lead you to a large oak tree merely ten or so feet from the edge. Steve is quick to unfold the blanket and spread it out under the tree - large enough to probably cover an entire California King bed. Bucky then places the basket down as his mate takes your hand and helps you sit near the edge of the blanket leaving enough space for the men to sit on either side of you.

The Alphas quickly open the basket and pull out containers of food, opening the lids and placing them in front of you. When they finally sit down - obviously with you in the middle - Bucky notices how wide your eyes are, how you seem transfixed on the array of fruits and sandwiches and cake. It’s when Bucky pulls out the jug of homemade lemonade that you choke back a cry.

“Honey?” Steve asks, turning his body to face you with a concerned look in his eyes.

“Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Bucky places a hand on your back, sweeping it around to hold your waist. And can you really blame him if his whole body goes hot when you lean into his side and turn your face so it’s halfway buried in his neck?

It takes a few seconds but you’re finally able to gather yourself and pull away.

“You guys are just… I can’t believe it.”

“What can’t you believe, sweetheart?” Steve scoots closer to you, placing his hand on your head to smooth out your hair, and unconsciously turns your head so he can look directly at you. “Tell us what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

____________

You want to scream. You want to yell until your voice gives out. It’s nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Them preparing food - by hand - and bringing you to this beautiful spot might just be a normal thing for most people, but considering you’ve hardly ever been shown this much affection and thoughtfulness. Shaking your head, you look away, unable to withstand the Alpha's intense gaze.

“It’s nothing,” You mumble, fiddling with your fingers. “It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not, honey,” Bucky says, giving your waist an affectionate squeeze. “If you’re upset, we want you to tell us.”

“I’m not! I promise!” You assure them, hesitantly reaching both of your hands out to place them on the Alpha’s legs. “I guess I just… I’ve just never been shown this much… care?” It’s phrased as a question, because you’re unsure if that was the right word to use, but it’s all you can think of at the moment.

“I know it may not seem like a lot,” You continue, taking a deep breath before looking up at Steve, and then Bucky. “But this means the world to me. You guys are just so sweet and thoughtful and I’m not really sure what to do, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, let alone two people.”

Both of the men sigh, and you can almost taste the scent of disappointment wafting off of them. Suddenly your nerves spike, did you say something wrong?

You must have said that out loud because Bucky starts shaking his head. “No, no darling. You didn’t say anything wrong, I promise.”

“We’re just… I guess we’re disappointed that you consider this the height of romance because this is the bare minimum. You should be used to this, you should be loved and worshipped because that’s what you deserve, nothing less. And it’s not your fault, it’s every other person’s fault for not treating you like the perfect Omega you are.” Steve sounds upset, and your heartbeat increases to a degree that you’d think you were having a panic attack if it weren’t for how damn happy you are.

For a moment, you’re unsure as to what to say, it’s just baffling to you that one person, let alone two, can make you feel this way, this joyous and carefree. But luckily Bucky speaks up so you don’t have to.

“And we’d love to have the chance to do that for you,” He says softly, picking up your hand to cradle it in his own so he can place a delicate kiss on your knuckles. And when you stare up into his eyes, you can’t help but gasp at how loving his gaze is. “Will you give us that chance?”

“Yes.” And this time, you’re not embarrassed by how quickly your answer was to come. How can you be when both men sigh in relief and lean into your body so they can wrap you in their arms? It’s warm and comforting, filling you with happiness and care for these men.

When they lean back you really can’t be blamed for the way your gaze finds Steve’s, then drops down to his lips momentarily. At this, you’re a little flustered, suddenly overcome with the want to feel how soft they are.

Steve seems to read your mind because he places his hand on the back of your neck and forces you to hold his gaze.

“Can I kiss you, honey?”

“Please,” You whine, staying in place as the Alpha leans down slowly. Your eyes close when he gets close enough that you can feel his breaths against your mouth. And for a moment, neither of you moves, and your nerves climb higher and higher as the seconds tick by.

You’re about to speak when he finally, finally kisses you. At first, it’s just a simple peck, a chaste kiss on your lips, and then he pulls back by merely a millimeter. It’s you who leans forward to press your lips together again, and you let him lead as you lose yourself in the kiss. Though, it’s over far too soon for your liking by a soft groan.

Pulling away, both you and Steve turn to look at Bucky, who is now sporting a sheepish grin.

“Sorry,” He mumbles with a flushed face. “I just… I love seeing you two together. I love us all being together and having the two people I care about more than anything sharing your feelings. I know it’s-”

“Sweet,” You interrupt him, turning your body so you can face him better and slip your hand out of his. Placing it on his cheek, you smile when he nuzzles into your palm and gives it a little kiss. “I think it’s sweet, Bucky.”

“Can I kiss you too?” He whispers hopefully, smiling when you nod. Unlike his mate, Bucky doesn’t waste any time capturing your lips in a soft but passionate kiss. It’s clear he’s trying to hold back, and something in you just can’t help but feel wanted, desired. This kiss lasts a little longer, and although you can feel Steve’s gaze on you, you’re not in the least bit self-conscious. You know they wouldn’t lie to you, so you find comfort in knowing that you can show affection to both men without either getting upset or jealous.

When you do finally pull away, you can’t help but lean into Bucky’s chest, reaching behind you to grab Steve’s hand.

“I really like you guys,” You mumble into the Alpha’s chest.

“We really like you too,” They say in unison, causing you to smile.

With that, everything seems to fall into place, the men divvy up the food - giving you most of it - and you all eat in comfortable silence, occasionally stealing glances at each other. Once the food is eaten, Bucky wraps his arm around your waist, causing you to look up at him.

“Come here,” He says with a smile, guiding you to sit sideways on his lap, facing Steve. And there is absolutely no way in hell you could contain the squeak forcing its way out of your mouth. “Is this okay?” He asks as Steve scoots closer to sit right next to Bucky, picking up your legs and resing them in his lap.

You’ve never nodded faster in your life. You’re nervous, sure, but the utter happiness you’re feeling far outweighs it. That happiness only grows when Bucky nods to his mate, and you watch as the other man picks up the container with the cake. Your eyes widen when Steve picks up a fork and takes a small bit out of one of the slices, carefully leading it up to your mouth where you automatically open it.

Slowly, he slides the fork out, allowing you to chew the cake with a pleased smile on his face. It goes on like this until the slice is completely gone, with Bucky pressing kisses to your temple occasionally and bathing you in his warmth. It makes you preen having these Alphas take care of you like this, providing for you.

You’re content to stay here forever, wrapped up in their light, and by the time you’re done eating completely, you feel your eyelids grow heavy, a yawn forcing your mouth wide open.

“I’m sorry,” You say remorsefully, a little embarrassed by how tired you’ve become now that your stomach is full and you’re comfortably resting against Bucky’s chest.

“Don’t be, honey,” Steve says, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “You can nap if you want, we’ll be right here when you wake up.”

A smile spreads across your face, and you instinctively bury your head into Bucky’s chest and reach out so you can hold onto Steve’s hands. “Are you sure?” You ask, peeking an eye open so you can look up at the blonde Alpha.

He smiles as he nods, pressing another kiss on the top of your head. “Go to sleep, pretty girl.”

It doesn’t take long for you to float off into dreamland, and the last thing you hear is, “I told you she’s perfect for us.”

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[austinsastrology8991]

> Mars in Houses < How you fight demons by becoming more demony ANd where others thirsty for yo Red-Bull-shit

Mars in First - Red bull gave you wings. your venom is oozing out yo teeth, but you still grinning at anything that moves. you act out a lot -and we let you - only because we don't wanna be the reason you lashed out - and you will justify your outbursts with any reason possible. because anything and everything makes you jump into a fist fight. and we don't wanna hear it was our fault later when we all know its your fault Mars in Second - Red bull made you sleep. you tired of fighting, but you will never surrender - so like what do you even want. your easily the most annoying person to get in a fight with because you never quit even if you lost the fight. passive in yo jabs but you a genius at pissing me off. and honestly the only reason i put up with it is because you so god damn sensual but your the definition of walking on egg shells Mars in Third - Red bull gave you intrusive thoughts. You are irrationally provocative and you don't even care that you just pissed everyone off with yo shit talking. you are able to have a conversation, but you must get the final word, and this final word, is why we all roll our eyes at you whenever you say yo 'piece.' notice how know one talks shit back to you? talk is cheap Mars in Fourth - Red bull gave you cancer - you hold in a lot, and we know your insides are boiling into a hot soup and thats why everyone so nice to you. we dont want to be the ones you vomit at. and we know its because yo mama made you bite yo tongue as a kid. and well we gotten used to it Mars in Fifth - Red bull gave you energy - get hyper - *dubstep**ksi appears** your dominant simply because your energy is overwhelming to others > you got the loudest laugh > the 'funniest' jokes > the biggest rawr xd > no one gonna step to you because you loud , and to extinguish yo flames we gotta call the fire brigade because you set the whole building on fire Mars in Sixth - Red bull gave you band aids/aids - you the most non combative person but can cut anyone so easily. you know exactly how to put someone down, and thats why you dont look for fights, because it feels like work at dis point. undercover freaks Mars in Seventh - Red bull gave you an erection - RED ROCKET RED ROCKET ummm do you really gotta show yo red rocket to everyone. seriously you working everyone as if you plan on sleeping with everyone. and the people you really wanna sleep with man, never seen a bigger simp, but keep pretending you a pimp, i mean i would too if i was as thirsty as you Mars in Eighth - Red bull gave you demon wings - scary. you can expose anyone by diggging into their psyche/secrets, and after you expose them, you console them, make them feel better about how you made them yo bitch. I mean its impressive how well you keep your secrets to yourself, but man do you exterminate everyone elses and its uncomfortable to be yo target Mars in Ninth - Red bull made you jump off something high - loud ambitions and a whole buncha energy. and well we know you have a grand plan to take over the world, but we done hearing about it we just waiting to see if you got the balls to do it. oh wow you actually jumped off the cliff and nearly died. was it as legendary as you thought it would be > i mean shit, imma talk about it so maybe? Mars in Tenth - Red bull made you put on a suit - Professionally a proffesional. a professional that proffeses they a profesional professionally like professionals who are proffesional. do you feel like i gave you the respect you deserved, or do you feeel im mocking you? they ask themselves this typa shit 24/7 because they dont wanna get spat on, but they so used to it - so they put themselves in only win win situations to avoid anything 'unprofessional'

Mars in Eleventh - Red bull gave you purpose - yall are kinda fearless but we all know its because you so afraid you wont get your way lol. but you masters at getting yo way, but that just means people dont wanna get in yo way... now ask yourself. how beneficial is this really. i mean at least nothing is an obstacle, but also no one helping you, becasue your attitude has convinced everyone you dont need help, and we also don't want to Mars in Twelfth - Red bull made you think he gave you wings - yall into infecting peoples minds; thats yo weapon. you know the exact right things to pull off to get people stuck in a thought loop of guessing what ifs of what is actually nothing at all. and this 'weapon' after a while, is completely useless after yo game is revealed, but yall are intriguing and are always shapeshifting into some new shit

[mysadcorner]

FatherFigure!Logan (James) Howlett x Reader Headcanons

- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in requests -

Masterlist Navigation

• Logan honestly wouldn’t know what to do when he first meets you as he hasn’t been trusted to care or interact with many kids for an extended period of time. However, he will try his best and cause a lot of chaos at the same time, which overall makes him an incredibly fun person to be around.

• If you’re very young then he’ll try his best to keep a constant eye on you, but he does often get distracted. He needs to figure out how to behave around you or what basic needs he may provide for you, which may be difficult at first, but he gets the hang of this pretty quickly.

• If you’re a teenager then it would be much easier for him to get used to you being around. He does try to keep an eye on you when in dangerous situations, but overall you’ll have a lot of freedom. His strict side will only come out if you wander off or get yourself into danger which would have been easily foreseeable.

• He’ll worry about you if you have any abilities or powers that haven’t been taught pr figured out by you properly yet. He doesn’t want you to get in trouble, hurt yourself or become a target in any way. If he can’t help you figure things out himself then he has more than enough connections to find someone who can help you.

• You’ll end up meeting the people he’s well acquainted with early on if you’re not on the run from anything. They’ll all treat you very well and look after you, especially because of how they know Logan would react if they ever did anything rude towards you.

• When he tries to keep you away from any danger he would gladly take any blows or injuries with the intent of keeping you safe and unhurt when something happens towards the two of you. Although, after the event has happened, he may be a bit apologetic about how much anger he let come out for the cause of defending you.

• Logan will always have a bit of chaotic behaviour, even when he is looking after you. He can’t help it, and it’s a natural part of himself, so if you ever see him doing something completely random or out of context (or the times he’s inappropriate for the current situation) you’ll just have to learn not to question it.

• After being around him, and growing up with him beside you so often, you’ll eventually develop his form or sarcasm and humour. This may seem funny for the both of you, but others definitely notice that this causes you both to fuel each other into becoming a menace to all those around at the time.

[allwormdiet]

Interlude 3½

Nazi capes fuck off

Kayden automatically gives such awful vibes, ~ooh my daughter is still pure and uninfected by any of the things wrong with society, not that I contribute to that in any way by being a fucking Nazi~

So obviously this is my second go-around on this chapter so I know who Theo is in context, and can I just say, poor fucking kid. Truly what a nightmarish situation to be born into and have no control over

Good kid.

Fucking rancid adult. I'm glad it hurts you that he doesn't want you to have any luck, Kayden, you fucking dirtbag

Frankly I wish she would have a moment of doubt or hesitation, maybe it would mean she stops being a fucking Nazi. Or maybe she wipes out after taking a fifteen-story swan dive, either way that's a problem solved

And oh yeah, of course she just happens to be targeting the ABB, not like she could pick a fight with Coil or something

...The description of her realizing that they're closing ranks and getting stronger is a neat instance of showing Bakuda's influence from another perspective, at least, get something out of this rotten POV

It's been one week of mediocre results and you're going back to him. What a pillar of moral strength you are.

So the leader of a neo-Nazi street gang is, like, the CEO of a company that's big enough to have its own building with a logo on it.

...Does that feel a little small potatoes to anyone else? I feel like if you're an evil CEO with superpowers and Nazi sympathies you could do a lot more damage than that. Like I know Green Goblin basically only terrorizes New York City but that's because the city is outrageously dense with superhero bullshit, it takes a fucking escape velocity to leave for even an issue, and even then Norman Osbourne still found time to do the Thunderbolts thing

God this man's vibes suck so hard. Like obviously they suck, he's a fucking Nazi, but clearly that wasn't enough for him

Quick q, what does the CEO of a company need with the profits from extortion and theft? He makes more money by sitting in a board meeting, and you can't tell me that there's no way to launder money available to him

And yeah fucking, of course she's still only beating up nonwhite criminals, she's a fucking Nazi

Excuses excuses, Kayden

And yeah of course you can't shake the perspective that "the same kinds of people" are all the worse criminals, you spent a decade believing that and haven't really challenged yourself on that

Honestly I'm willing to believe that her split with Max here wasn't even a matter of ideology, just that she didn't want him to fuck up their kid

And here we see why Kayden fell into becoming a fucking Nazi, I suspect: it's that she's also a goddamn sucker. Max is playing her like a fiddle, and she knows full well that he is, but she falls for it anyway. I'd almost feel bad for her, if she wasn't a fucking Nazi

Cry me a fucking river, Kayden

Current Thoughts

Let's get back to the characters worth anything

[imagobin]

Head canons for illumi with a younger sister(A bit above the same age as Killua) that looks up in a way and likes being by his side since they were close before Killua came along please 😄

Awww cute idea! I'm always up for writing some good ol' Illumi being a good older brother lol he's so much fun to write! Thank you for requesting this, hope you enjoy! Sorry for taking so long aaa

📍Being Illumi's younger sister HCs📍

Growing up Together

Looking out for you:

You were born three years before Killua, so Illumi would've been 9 years old back then.

Kikyo was ecstatic about finally having a girl, and that happiness really rubbed off on Illumi too, who immediately felt like you were special for making mother so happy.

After that day he promised to himself he'd always protect you and look out for you, even when you thought you were alone, Illumi was most definitely keeping an eye on you to make sure you didn't get yourself into trouble. It wasn't in a creepy way or anything, you were a toddler, watching over you was pretty normal.

Since he was also still a kid and not totally swamped with work, he had a lot more time to play with you as well. Hide and seek was always his favorite, and he'd always praise you lots whenever you managed to find him or stay hidden for longer than usual.

Honestly he praised you a lot in general, especially for doing well during training once you'd turned 3, he's always been so proud of his little sister!

He would also give you little snacks or other gifts whenever you did good, though it wouldn't be anything too fancy, because once again, he was also still a kid, and didn't really have a lot of money to spend. But it's the thought that counts! And the reason why you have a shelf full of bugs preserved in resin that you never want to throw away (regardless if you do like bugs or not).

He'd also be the one to style your hair, for no particular reason aside from him enjoying that.

The first mission:

Even after Killua was born, Illumi's behavior towards you didn't change, you were still his precious sister, so of course he'd want to be the one assisting you in your first mission once you turned 5!

It was fairly straightforward, find the target, kill them and leave the scene without anyone noticing you were even there in the first place.

You'd been preparing for this, but still felt nervous, as it'd be the first time you'd be taking a life. Illumi felt for you, he'd been there as well, fear of failure was normal. "Just do it the way mom and I have shown you, if anything goes wrong, I'll intervene, okay?"

His calm tone and slight smile put you at ease, and you ended up carrying out the mission perfectly! You one-shotted your target with your favored method and nobody spotted you.

When you got back to him he looked so proud of you, glad that the family had another very skilled assassin in its ranks.

If you accidentally spilled any of your target's blood on yourself, he'll do his best to clean it up, and then, since you did so well, he decided to take you to a toy store so you could pick something for yourself.

You still treasure the toy he bought you that day dearly.

Still Close

Difficulties:

Over the years, Illumi ended up having less and less time to dedicate to you: he'd been appointed to train Killua along with your father, and he'd also started taking on more solo missions.

Despite how busy he is, he still finds time to check up on you. He always wants to know how your missions and training are going, what sort of progress you've been making etc.

He also offers you advice on how to increase your strength and speed, and if you can already use Nen he'll be even more serious about it, pushing you to create the perfect Hatsu for yourself. He's always happy to see how much you value his advice.

The only downside to being Illumi's sister is that he's become an 'all business' man. He hardly has time to just spend a day with you and have fun hanging out like you used to in the past, it always, ALWAYS has to do with the family's business, and you don't like that.

Illumi can see he's been growing distant from you, and even if he doesn't outwardly show it, it pains him, especially since he's aware that you look up to him.

He doesn't know how to approach things though, his assassin training didn't prepare him for this, and he's always taken his siblings' affection for granted, because you're family, but you don't seem as happy as you used to be anymore.

Confrontation:

The opportunity to fix things suddenly gets thrown his way after you two end up working together on a mission, after years of not getting the chance to.

This reminds him of your first mission, and suggests that he should buy you something this time around as well if you do everything perfectly.

You finally tell him that you don't need toys and prizes anymore, you just want to spend some quality time with him, without having to think about jobs or training or any of those things, you just want to spend time with your brother...

Illumi was not expecting this sudden honesty, not at all, but it was a good thing it happened, because he had no idea how he would've brought the truth out of you otherwise. "It's true that we haven't had that in a while..."

He promises you that if this mission goes flawlessly, you're going to have one of those days every two weeks, and through the whole assassination you can see that his senses are even sharper than usual, and so are yours, you both just really want to be close again.

Ever since that mission, Illumi has kept his promise religiously, although sometimes he slips up and starts talking about work, which he quickly backpedals from once you point it out.

Spending more time with him also means you two get to share your hobbies with each other as well, and that more often than not, you also get to listen to him talk about a certain weird magician he goes on missions with... though he refuses to tell you his name for some reason.

---

[glitcheslikeslego]

Show Me Your Moves! (Chapter 18)

AO3 STORY

Chapter 18 : Spite

Spite decreases the PP of the last move the target used. Spite fails if that move has no PP remaining.

There was a giant shadow monster in the middle of the street.

A GIANT SHADOW MONSTER.

You huffed in irritation as you glared at the giant monster, knowing full well who was behind the entire thing, but did you speak up about it? No. Because honestly, who would believe you?

“Hey guys, a dead monkey came back to life and is now wreaking havoc in our city because he’s a dick.” Like, come on.

Besides, this show is for ages 8 and up, so no cursing, even if you wanted to, even though you already have.

Mei was on call with MK, who sounded more than happy to be fighting a monster instead of doing the wall breaking thing Wukong had him doing, meanwhile your boss and Tang were lamenting over Pigsy, who had been knocked down when he tried fighting the monster himself.

Even you were going to go up there and give the shadow monster of your weirdo stalker a piece of your mind but no, even with your powers, Sandy did not want you to hurt yourself.

It took a bit, but MK eventually showed up, raring to go and down to fight, unwilling to listen to you and Mei as you both tried to stop him. The shadow monster took him by the ankle and slammed him back down to the ground, ending up in the same position as Pigsy, with his own crater to boot.

“Yeah, we already tried that.” Mei exclaimed, gesturing to Pigsy, while Sandy placed a white cloth over Pigsy’s head. You sigh tiredly.

And like in canon, who else shows up but Macaque. Like a shadow, he sneakily approaches his shadow monster with parkour before easily driving it away.

Because it’s his.

You sigh again when MK immediately darted off, yelling about Monkey King saving the day.

Out of character, you don’t stop him.

You feel strangely agitated today for some reason.

Pigsy woke back up, making Tang and Sandy cheer happily and help him up, and you and Mei watched to make sure that the shadow monster had disappeared fully. Mei hummed, curiously. “Wonder what that was about…”

You nodded in agreement, despite knowing exactly what would happen, and you made a mental note to start keeping a closer eye on MK.

•

•

•

Okay, you knew MK had training sessions with Macaque, but within the span of two weeks, everything finally came to the climax.

After the first week, when MK came in to get a cup of the most caffeinated tea you had, with obvious bags under his eyes and sporting many injuries, you finally sat him down to try and talk with him.

He didn’t listen to a word you said, and instead, decided to drag you over to the next session he had with Macaque to ‘prove’ it to you.

It certainly proved something, alright. And not in the way MK was hoping for.

You stayed around for the rest of the week, knowing full well this will either end up with something going wrong, or you getting involved in the eventual fight between Wukong and Macaque.

You watched everything go down, with MK finally achieving a form of shadow weapon and how the monkey insignia on the back of his jacket would slowly glow purple and transform into one resembling an evil version.

At this point, you believed it better to not stop him.

You frown, that’s a bad thing to think about, but then again, you simply being here is changing the course of this world already, so it’s better to let things play out as is and not interfere further, despite how much you wanted to smack Macaque around.

And now, everything continued up to this point, with Macaque ‘hyping’ MK up into defeating the ancient shadow demon, which was really just Macaque’s own entity of shadow.

Macaque pushed MK out towards the monster, giving him the nudge to fight it. That was when you sighed heavily and placed a hand on Macaque’s shoulder.

He looked at you curiously.

You’re really about to do this…

“You’re really about to do this?”

Macaque chuckled. “What’cha mean kid? I just gave him the training to beat that demon.”

“You gave him the training to beat you.” You corrected with a smug smirk. Macaque was caught off guard for a second before taking your hand off his shoulder with an evil laugh.

“Guess so.” Was all he said before disappearing and reappearing in front of MK, stealing his powers, and trapping him against the wall with the staff he could no longer lift.

You leaned against the rock formation, arms crossed as Wukong finally arrived. He glared at MK, and looked surprised to see you there, but you pointed at Macaque, which made him return his attention back.

MK looked at you worried. “You gotta get out of here, it’s dangerous!”

You looked back at him, looked down at the staff, then back at him with a sassy expression. He sighed. “You want me to say you were right, huh?”

You shook your head. “Nah, it’s fine. You learned your lesson.” You knew it wouldn’t work, because if MK couldn’t move it now, neither could you. 

It didn’t budge.

The fight continued to rage on behind you, and you had no idea what to do, and your best bet would be to run, but you didn’t want to leave MK.

Why, he can handle it.

And you know that, but still…

You and MK looked at each other worriedly before MK decided on another escape attempt, this time freeing himself from the wall, but he still couldn’t lift the staff.

Wukong called out to him. “Kid. We’re definitely going to have words later. But it’s time for the hero stuff!”

“Come on MK!” You put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. He looked up at you, a look of appreciation then turned to determination.

“You might wanna stand back.” He said. You were already on it, as you ran off a good distance, behind a pile of rocks.

The blast hit fast and hard, barely giving you any time to protect yourself behind the rocks, but you were thankfully unharmed. You waited a bit afterwards before peeping back over to see Macaque was gone, and the sky returned to a sunset.

“Wow.” Was all you muttered before walking up to the two. Wukong was comforting ME before you came up to them. “That was quite the blast.” You began awkwardly.

There was a small beat of silence before you and MK just randomly began laughing.

“What, am I missing something?” Wukong asked as he looked between you two suspiciously.

You waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m just awkward.”

“Listen, I–.” MK began awkwardly. “I’m sorry for not listening to you.” 

“I know.” You said, patting his hair. “How about we get some noodles to cheer you up?” MK excitedly followed after you.

You looked back at Wukong and waved before turning around the rock and heading down the mountain.

Wukong hummed, watching you leave with a strange feeling of interest.

Weird.

~~~

<PREV ~ NEXT>

[aliceattheart]

So I was thinking Alastor has Human!S/O who he claimed and brought down to Hell still alive. And even though no one really messes with them because they belong to the Radio Demon, Alastor is tired of the stares so he shrinks his s/o so that he's the only one who can see them.

Yandere Alastor x S/O

No one has the right to look at you but me

Heyyy, Alice here

I haven't ever thought of any storyline like this! I'll try my hardest. Also not really biblically accurate to the series story. Out of character Alastor.

Also story has dark themes if you click the read more you consent to the content you are reading 🙏🏾

Thxs for reading:D

Alastor was quite particular when it came to answering summonings. Unfortunately for you he answered. Your luscious big doe eyes captured him when he meet you. Eager to make a deal with you.

All you asked for was help with financial issues. Not having the money to keep yourself a float. Your head bobbing in and out for a fresh breath of air. An easy target he thought.

"S/o in trade for this deal, I want part of your wonderous lifespan. A simple request honestly." He chuckled lightly. And by the sounds coming from around him, sounded like an old rerun laugh. "No money problems and you have quite a lot of life left in your sinful body. What do you say, hmm?" The energy behind his words sounded so sickly sweet, but there was something more sinister behind those eye.

Having nothing else to live for. Without really looking at your contract, you signed your first and last name at the bottom of the contract. Alastor grabbed your hand and pressed his sharp finger into your thumb. Blood started to leak over the document.

That was the greatest mistake of your life.

You don't remember how long you've been here. Has it been months or years? You couldn't tell, all there was in the sky was a red gleaming light.

After your little deal, Alastor dragged you straight down to hell. Not by choice of course, solemnly remembering your first day in hell. Alastor made a big scene to ensure everyone knew you were his favorite marionette. "So leave them be, or you'll find out what it's like to die a second time."

Quite frankly to everyone else you seemed like a little hostage he keeps around for his entertainment. Making you run hard errands in the sweltering heat. Also adorning you many maid/servant outfits.

"Why don't you look ravenous." Some lousy scum bag said to you. He must be new down here. Feeling bad you only gave him a warning to run away from you. "Sir, I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I kid you not don't talk to me." "Why not sug, you can't be stuck up after death too."

"Pleading with a stranger S/O? I thought I've taught you better than that. And you're late." You froze instantly hearing your master's voice. "I apologize, I was on my way-." He cut you off to steal a glance at the sinner that dared to talk to you. Giving him a mischievous grin.

"I'll give you a whole minute to run, after that I'll let my hunting dogs come after you." He said with a sing song voice. Snapping his fingers a furious black dog appeared out of a demon circle. It has three sharp fanged heads. A tall broad figure with long snouts.The perfect hunting dog, Alastor managed to make. His favorite beast in his collection of horrors.

Turning to look at you. "S/O my dear, please head home. We have a serious conversation to be held." He whisked you off without a second thought. Scared not to follow his orders. You slowly turned away from the scene Alastor was putting on.

Starting up his radio broadcasting. A dark ominous energy surrounding the area.

"Ladies, gentlemen and variations thereupon, care to witness a spectacular event. A poor unfortunate soul meeting his second maker." His minute was far gone, yet he was still insight. The dogs speared not a second when Alastor said, "Fetch."

The carnage was immense. His yells, screams for help went unheard by the people spectating. Some laughing maniacally glad that it was him and not them. After the dogs were finished all that remains is his chewed up bones.

"Thank you for you time, I bid you adieu." Everyone started to clap and praise him. Remembering what happened to the last guy that didn't.

It wasn't long before he would return. Following your usual schedule you set the large dining table with varieties of heavy meat dishes and perfect sides to combat each other. While cooking you were going heavy on the seasonings. Not knowing what he wanted tonight, having not told you when he sent you off.

Your stomach growled. You put your plate up earlier. Alastor had special rules you had to follow. One being not to eat at the table with him and to stay by his side until he was finished. Quite frankly it was unfair. Even sometimes taking his precious time to finish eating.

2 rules you unfortunately managed to break was being late and talking to others he did not promit you to. Boy you were going to be in a world of pain. Your master has a cruel streak regardless of the events that have taken place.

Looking out of the window at the Red Maple trees he made you take care of with your life. Spacing out and thinking of the time he burned his name into your soul. You couldn't properly function for weeks. Not able to move or eat properly. That was your personal hell. He told you it was a part of the contract but you honestly don't know.

The chime of the door opening was your que to get scared. Speed walking to the door to gracefully take his coat off his shoulders. Slightly trembling with every movement, not making eye contact. You could smell the blood redating off of him. Gently putting his coat on the dark burgundy coat hanger. Fidgety with the thought of your punisher being centimeter away from you.

"S/o, won't you look at me?" He said so sweetly and placing a hand on your cheek to lift your face up to meet his. It was only an act of kindness, you know that. You just couldn't help yourself, by rubbing your face into his palm. "You know I wouldn't want to hurt you but you leave me no choice. I can't have rule breakers living with me, can I?" The slightest sound of radio static entering your full soundings. "I don't like how disobedient you have been in the resent weeks. I think I should put you down a few sizes for your transgressions. What do you think?"

Making everything he says a rhetorical question. Leaving very little room to speak. It only took him a few seconds of him chanting something you couldn't understand. With a snap of his fingers you were closer to the ground than you ever where before. You could compare yourself to a doll. Picking you up, Alastor took you to his private study. He always had a big doll house in there. It was for you.

"You will sit in here and isolate yourself until you understand that no one has the right to even look at you but me. It is your fault for not following the rules." Opening the top of the doll house in dropping you inside. "Goodnight my Angel." As he closed the top of the roof, leaving you in udderly complete darkness.

Heyyyy, Alice here

I wanted to make this a bit longer than usual. Thanks for reading xD

[smalltestaccount]

okay i think ive come to the conclusion that i dont really fit in with most other trans women, like personality wise, and thats okay. Like i think recently a lot of trans women, not just on tumblr, have been making me think i have to be kinky and bizarre or something, be blasé about transitioning or gender roles, or even just like be okay with some borderline harassing behavior. Its okay if that is you (except the harassing behavior some of yall need to work on that), but like thats not really me. Acting this way just makes me feel bad. Just ignoring that Im a total straightedge, that im like a 1 on the Kinsey scale now. Ever since i was like 11 my biggest desire is just like being a normal cis girl. I always am happiest embracing basic American femininity, and i only just re-realized this after after it helped me get out of a depressive episode (along with antidepressants and an increased estrogen dose). I don't care if im "enforcing gender roles", because i fucking love female gender roles (in modern American culture) cause they make me feel like not-a-piece-of-shit. Also i don't strictly adhere to many anyways. And i just don't think terfs would have any issues with cis girls who love the color pink, flowers, being boy crazy, and dreaming about being a mother. So like why should I feel like its wrong to like that stuff? I don't think there is anything wrong with it. And you know if you don't have that relationship with gender that is fine, you need to do what makes you happy, that's why feminism exists. I'm just saying I don't want to pretend like my personality is something that really just makes me uncomfortable.

I dont like when people here imply being a trans woman entails being sexual cause like i just want to be normal and that stereotype is harmful, especially to transgender children who are really likley to be targeted for some kind of sexual abuse because theyre trans and being trans is already sexualized more than it needs to be. Adults can navigate that to some extent, but not kids; I couldnt really navigate that when i started transitioning in middle school and im lucky it only stayed online. Trying to even somewhat fit in with tumblrs idea of trans women has made me encounter tranny porn on my dash and whenever i post images of myself I'm followed by gross accounts that just reblog that stuff . A lot of trans women don't hate it, because sex work is very much as part of the trans community. But honestly, seeing trans women be treated in those ways just makes me feel bad for the actresses and sick about myself and very dysphoric.

Im not saying that you cant express kinkiness and hyper-sexuality, because I dont want to dictate how you act any more than i want you to be dictated on how I act. But I also want to encourage thoughfulness in what you say. Saying you, yourself, is kinky and weird, is not that same as saying trans *girls* are kinky and weird. In the same way I'm not going to reblog tradwife content, I don't think its productive to make an "all tgirls be kinky" post. You shouldn't try to paint that image of other trans women.

As its the first day of june I'll just tie it up by saying that not all trans people fit into one personality and if you want to show support its best not to suggest trans women all act a certain way, and please don't think talking about "gock" is a good way to show support. This isn't a "kink at pride" discourse post in the very slightest cause I don't, and never have, given any shits about that, cause I've never been to pride. This is just me talking about how I fit into the trans community.

Im Alexa and I'm going to reblog and post shit i like, not what other people like or expect. That Includes not doing tummy tuesday cause i really only briefly did it out of fomo and peer pressure. And please don't say things about me that you wouldnt say about other women

[kaythejay]

Sometimes I forget just how privileged my life is as a queer person. I mean, I live in the US. It is completely legal here. When my partner and I decide to tie the knot, we will be able to do so. Though I am old enough to remember when that became legal, so I'm not in any deniability about the fact that I know it can be taken away (especially knowing that Roe v. Wade has already been taken away and they will certainly do the same to Hodges v. Obergefell if given the chance). But regardless, I do not have to worry about going to jail or getting killed because of my sexuality.

I have a lot of family that supports me. My partner's entire family has been absolutely wonderful in accepting me into their family. I mean, her mom has already started calling me her daughter-in-law, and we're still several years out from that being true (mostly for financial reasons/I'm still in school because I changed my major and added time to my degree). My grandma is always asking about my partner because she absolutely adores her. The reason I don't really talk to my parents has nothing to do with the fact that I'm gay (they like my partner more than they like me). They don't care about the gay thing, there's just a lot of other stuff that happened while I was growing up (before I even knew what gay was) that makes it hard to talk to them.

I'm growing up in an era where queer pride is becoming more and more mainstream. I know a lot of young kids whose parents have gone out of their way to teach them about queerness and that it is ok. There's one kid that I knew that was even taught things beyond the "basics" (he knows what pansexual means for example). Rainbow capitalism is proof that the world is shifting. I can walk into Target right now and get myself a bold (though, admittedly probably ugly) pride outfit. When I was little, that just was not a thing.

I get to see the shift in how controversy is handled with celebrities. For example, the whole thing with JoJo Siwa at the moment is all about her as a person, not the fact that she kissed a girl in her latest music video. When I was little, if you were gay, you had to hide it or be ridiculed for that reason.

And honestly, in my day-to-day, I really don't have to think about it that much. I mean, if I'm out in public with my partner I still have to think about if we're in a safe space if I wanted to like. Hold her hand or anything because we do live in a red state, so we're not 100% safe from being harassed. However, I don't have to think that much about it otherwise.

I mean I will once I'm a teacher (and my partner who has just gotten her teaching license has already talked to me a lot about that). I have a friend who is teaching in a district that simply putting a poster up that has a rainbow on it (even if it has nothing to do with pride) is enough to get yourself put under fire. She got into trouble for introducing herself with her pronouns (and she's a cis, straight woman, no queer shenanigans going on there).

J talks to me a lot about the fact that she feels bad that she can't about me in a professional environment like a straight couple could. She assures me that it is not because she doesn't want to. But honestly I have to remind her that like. I avoid the topic probably even more than she does. I haven't been out for nearly as long as she has, so I haven't gotten as comfortable with people knowing that stuff as she has. She's also talked to her mom about it, but her mom doesn't fully understand that it is a safety thing. J's mom's response is almost always "I don't really talk about my husband much either." She kind of struggles to understand the point of "but you could if you wanted to without repercussions." Whereas if me or J tells the wrong person that we have a lady partner, we've immediately put ourself (and possibly the other) in danger. Sometimes I forget just how deep the danger goes.

But then things happen.

People in our dorm have put notes on our door (because we were ✨roommates✨) that were less than kind. We had to get our RA and RLC involved, but they couldn't do anything since there aren't cameras in our building. But boy did my RLC want to (she's also a queer lady, freaking awesome, Imma miss her when I'm over RA-ing in a different building). And I'll be honest with you. Even in our dorm, we were super, super careful about how we presented ourselves because we knew it wasn't safe. And still, someone with ill intentions somehow found out about us.

Someone crawls into your Tumblr inbox to call your slurs and tell you that you're faking for attention and that you'll never understand what it really means to be gay. Only for them to disappear when you turn the anonymity off.

Someone yelled "faggots" at us out of a car window while we were all decked out heading to lunch after the pride parade.

And I know, I know I'm incredibly lucky that that is the extent of the harassment that I've faced because of my sexuality.

But honestly it just goes to show just how important pride, and pride month as a whole, still is to this day.

For me, pride is a huge celebration of who I am as a whole person. It is the one time of year when I can take the mask off completely and just feel free to be me, knowing that I'm safe from judgement. Like my partner was saying the other day, I don't really realize just how much of myself that I sanitize for the majority's consumption until I'm at a pride event and am no longer doing any of that. There's certain ways that I would carry myself/dress/etc if I didn't have to worry about the people around me saying or worse doing something to me just because they pick up on my queerness.

Pride events are a chance to be around a very large group of other queer people. It is a chance to show people who are important to me a massive aspect of my life in a way that isn't sanitized for public consumption. It's a place where we get to be freaks and weirdos and not have to worry about getting looks. Because honestly for as weird as you might look, there's someone not all that far away that looks even weirder and it is so freaking cool to get to see.

But pride is so much more than that. They're also an "in your face" of the people who hate us. It is a show that we are not going to back down and stop being who we are as people just because people don't approve of our "lifestyle." It is the community banding together to welcome everyone who is accepting and protect people from those who aren't. It is a place for "baby gays" to find that it is ok to be be queer and find their place in the world.

I hope you all have a happy pride month, whether you are celebrating out and proud, or hidden in the closet.

[aliceismypixie]

The villain of my story ∥ Ten days granted

Summary - "The villain will always be the villain if the hero tells the story" or atleast that's what they say. No one knew why you became what you are. But you wanted your revenge on Isabella Marie Swan and you were ready to do anything to have it.

Pairing - Twilight x villain!reader

Pronoun - she/her (but can be read as a male reader or gn reader)

Warning - The reader is an immortal child, swearing, talk of kidnapping, brief mention of killing, my poor writing skill for hunting, mention blood, Edward being full of himself

Words count - 1.66k~

Set - After Breaking-Dawn Part 2

Chapter 2 - Masterlist

You were annoyed. You had Ratatouille Renesmee in your lair for five days now and honestly, she was slowly making you regret ever kidnapping her.

"So you don't want to kill me ?"

"No."

"But you want my mommy ?"

"Yes."

"Why ?"

"Because."

"Because is not a reason. Really you could have targeted someone with a family weaker than ours.".

"I have good reasons."

"What are they ? It's kind of boring here don't you think ? You should add some colors on your wall !"

"No."

"Why not ?"

"Because I say so."

"But it's boring !"

"Shut up."

"That's a bad word !!"

"SHUT THE F― oh my God, kids nowaday."

"You look younger than I though."

"I'll burn the kid today." A groan escaped your lips as you turned away to grab your coat and out on your hood.

"Imma go on a little hunt. Stay in your cage and try to find something to distract you in your tiny space." You walked out as the girl started to speak again.

"Hey, don't leave me alone ! That's not very kind !"

The moment you closed the door, you finally felt like you could breathe. How was that kid Isabella's daughter ? She was so talkative while her mother was probably the most awkward introvert you've ever got to meet. But when you were younger, people always prefered a shy introvert who loved to read than a loud extrovert who jumped on trees.

Rolling your eyes at the thought, you made your way toward the entrance of the wood and jumped on a few trees. It was always better up there, that way you could see your prey any human much better. And as if your thought summoned them, a couple walked in the forest. They were dressed in a bunch of hiking equipment so they were probably here to see the awesome view the mountain offered them once they reached the top. Sadly they would never get the chance to.

Following behind them quietly, you always vomit your dinner hearing their cringe lovey-dovey discussion. The couple was talking about their movie date a week before and it was an awkward date and also an annoying one. Because honestly, who goes to the movie theater to watch a documentary on otters ?

"I love you bug-a-boo~"

"And I love you more winnie poo~"

"No ! Me bug-a-boo !"

"Me winnie-poo !"

"No―"

"Both of you are dead now anyways." You jumped off the trees you were on and you pinned them both on the ground with your feet smoothly.

"Who am I going to eat first ?" You smirked at their horrified expression and lowered yourself before taking a deep breath.

"You love alcohol don't you ?" You asked the man and his eyes widened while his girlfriend glared at him.

"What !? I thought you stopped ?!" She claimed and you rose and eyebrow surprised.

"Man you lied to your girl ? That's kinda low." You pointed out and the woman huffed before looking away from her boyfriend and you smirked.

"She cheated on me three times with all my boys !" He claimed and you looked at the girl in surprise.

"Damn, low blow girl." You acknowledged and the girl gasped dramatically before glaring at her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend whatever.

"Both of you are dead anyways."

Screams echoed through the forest and then there were two bodies, lying lifelessly on the ground, a bunch of claw marks on their bodies along with a few burns but no blood coming out of their injuries. Their blood got drained and the bear that clawed them was already jumping from trees to trees to go back home.

On your way back, you crossed a deer drinking some water and you stopped on your track. For the past five days she was there, Renasberry didn't eat all because she was brainwashed into their weird aff vegetarian diet or because the hybrid weird kid wanted human's food. But you needed to keep her alive somehow. A silent groan escaped your lips as your eyes the deer before you and prepared yourself to kill it.

Snapping its neck was an easy part honestly, especially since you just feet, carrying it to your super villain's lair was also an easy part, opening the door though, was kind of harder. But you were a super villain so you guess what you did ? A badass kick in the door and busted in.

The weird hybrid kid named Rasputin turned toward the door in shock and you rolled your eyes before dumping the deer in her cage and creating a new fire door for your lair.

"Eat up. You're paler than your mom when she was able to be sick." You glared before turning away and the kid looked at you with a teasy grin.

"You got me some food ! It's because you care~" Renesmee teased and you rolled your eyes annoyed.

"No I don't."

"You so do."

"Do not !"

"So do !"

"Do not !"

"Do not !"

"So do !" You replied and the kid smirked at you while you realized what you just said and a groan escaped your lips once again.

"How the fuck did I fall for that stupid two year old trick ?" You muttered.

"You said a bad word !"

"SHUT UP AND EAT !"

The Cullen's household wasn't happy anymore. You know how Bella used to say that her life was a nightmare before meeting Edward because now she has a handsome rich vampire husband ? Well now she thought that her life was worse because she lost her beautiful super rare hybrid daughter.

"We couldn't find her anywhere." Jasper announced seriously as him, Emmett and Seth arrived in the living room and Edward rolled his eyes in annoyance.

Seeing his brother's reaction's Emmett felt his own anger starting to rose up. Yes, Emmett wasn't the type to get annoyed or angry, except if you won against him in video games, but he wasn't annoyed for that. No, the big bad himbo vampire was annoyed because Edward was acting like he was the only one affected by the disappearance of ReNameMe, sorry oh my goodness, your author may have a problem with Razzel Dazzel's real name, Renesmee. Edward was acting like Rosalie wasn't isolating herself in her room out of guilt and refused to face anyone. See Emmett was usually very playful. That was until his wife was hurting and everyone just ignored it.

But was Emmett McCarty Cullen the main character ? No, you guessed it. He was probably the most underrated sibling of the Cullen's family but let's not talk about that.

Reading the thoughts of his brother, Edward glared at him from his seat on the couch and scoffed.

"Well I'm sorry, if your wife would have kept a eye on my daughter we wouldn't be here !" The golden brunet expressed and Emmett growled.

"Hey ! Rose did what she could ! You should have kept on eye on Renesmee she is your daughter after all ! Don't put everything on my wife !" Emmett's eyes turned darker as he was ready to jump on his brother.

Seeing the outbrust about to happen, Alice decided to take Jasper out of the room. The empath was already overwhelmed enough by everyone in the room, he didn't need to feel the emotions of the fight as a plus. Seth followed shortly after them, believe it or not he thought of them like his second parents. Leah followed her brother obviously, leaving Esme, Carlisle, Bella, Jacob, Edward and Emmett in the living room.

"Everyone calm down." Esme tried to sooth the atmosphere miserably.

Poor woman hated to see her children hurting and she hated even more to see them fight each other. Over the past few years, it has been hard for everyone between the hunters, the newborns army, the pregnancy and all the drama following the Volturi, Esme's caring nature couldn't help but worry for her children. But people oftenly forget that she existed too. She was Dr. Cullen's wife, not Esme, just Dr. Cullen's wife, so let's not make a big deal about her and how she might feel after all those years, yes ?

"No Esme, I'm sorry but Edward here needs to know that he is not the only one being hella worried about Nessie." Jacob butt in and Edward growled at him before getting up and face the alpha.

"If you were so worried you would have run faster !"

"And if you were so worried you wouldn't have let your daughter in the guard of other people ! Especially if you're not gonna assume your mistake after it !"

"I'm going to―"

"Boys ! Please ! Don't fight each other. Not now." Bella begged and the two turned toward her pleading eyes before getting off each other.

Like usual, Bella was the peacemaker between the two boys. Were they supposed to be adult now ? Yes they were. But the main character is the hero in every situation am I not right ? So let's make Bella act like the perfectly not-awkward-anymore-super-powerful-vampire-newborn main character that she is.

"Emmett, go check on Rosalie yes ?" Carlisle told his second son who simply huffed before being taken out of the room by his adopted mother.

"Edward, I know that you're frustrated but we're all soing our best to find her. And Jacob, I know that your imprint link makes you act up but we need to calm down and sit to think about a way to get Renesmee back without any harm." Carlisle announced when suddenly Seth ran back into the room, a familiar type of half burned letters in hands and a horrified expression on his face.

"Carlisle ! This was by the entrance of the wood. The child's sent is all over it." The young shifter exclaimed and Edward snatched the letter from his hands before that his expression fell and the words of the letter rolled off his tongue.

"'Fighting each other for five days, losing her more for five days. You had ten days granted. Tic, tac, fire and flames'."

Chapter 4

[slashingdisneypasta]

Inkubus x AFAB!Reader x Norman Nordstrom || Headcanons [Part 1?]

Topic: Imagine living next door to Norman, who's slowly falling in obsession love with you (Sweet, young, fertile, trusting you), when suddenly you're dating cocky, suspicious, asshole- 'Klaus'.

Basically you're naïve and too trusting and so you're being targeted by a creepy old man with a breeding kink and also now a spooky old sex demon. And they're both territorial. Goodluck-

Warnings: Mentions of obsession, breeding kink, boners, reacting badly to the friendzone- and that's all just Norman 😅XD Inkubus' warnings include being two-faced as hell between you and Norman, and a little bit of non consensual exhibitionism... General smutty themes, possessiveness and age difference for both throughout.

🥀 Norman started to notice you as soon as you moved in next door. You came over with M&M cookies and introduced yourself as Y/N, and didn't once act weird about his blindness. You were effortlessly kind, and the sound of your cheerful voice was honestly enough to make him a little hard. It always would.

🥀 He wishes now that when he invited you in for tea that first day, and his front door closed behind your all-too-willing back, that he had locked it. That he hadn't let you leave. That he had made a move.

🥀 ... alas, he didn't. And for a while that was okay, because he would get up early in the morning to sit on the front porch with Shadow so you would see him and come over on your way out to work- just to say hey, and ask him how he's doing, and pet Shadow. You would also see him on your way home again, because he learnt your schedule.

🥀This turned into having dinners together almost every day of the week because he said he was cooking and invited you to come in and eat with a lonely old man. Pretty soon you were eating at his place two- three- sometimes four nights a week.

🥀 Then he started to say that if you wanted- you could stay over on the couch after dinner. He would act all grumpy and like he doesn't really care, but you thought he was just the sweetest, grouchiest old man so, you did. Which turned into breakfasts together, too.

🥀 And he was so damn pleased. You were playing directly into his hands.

🥀 He was living his best life, actually 😅 He had you in his home with him, chatting to him in that ever-cheery way and touching him and eating with him- it was like having his wife around again. Norman's life was bright again ^^

🥀 Sure- he knew that as far as you were concerned, this was only friendship. The touches you shared were purely friendly and honestly a little bit delicate on your end (Like you're afraid to break him, like he's an old man. A fragile old man. Like that's how you saw him- which was admittedly less then ideal), and he never dared to go too far with you- but what he had with you was enough. For now, he thought. Eventually yes, he would want to have a baby with you (He had decided), but that could wait.

🥀 Norman did not see anything happening to jeopardise that. He had plans for the two of you and those were going to come true- they had to. He was sure of it. He needed this.

🥀 He needed you.

🥀 ... But then the absolute worst thing happened. The thing that made Norman's inner soundtrack warp from Justin Timberlake's 'Cant Stop The Feeling!' to the first bars in 'Highway to Hell' real fricken quick. And what was that thing? The worst thing that could possibly happen to Norman? The thing you did- that you brought home one night without even telling him- that wrecked his world???

🥀 A dark, mysterious, handsome stranger called 'Klaus'. Yeah... Klaus. Look you know who we're talking about here, okay? But he's going by Klaus right now so just go with it.

🥀 You were dating. Y/N, Norman's Y/N- his sweetheart, his future spouse, his light- was dating.

🥀 And it wasn't like you were dating a kid your own age (20's) who you had no chemistry with apart from liking the same music and 'Tik Tok's. No no no.

🥀 That would be one thing. That he could forgive. Soon enough the mess would be behind the two of you and you would realise how much better Norman is then some immature boy. You would laugh about it.

🥀 ... But no. You were dating an older man (That part really kicked Norman in the gut. He was worried all this time that you weren't being with him because he was so much older, and that he would have to acclimatise you- but that wasn't the case at all! Clearly, you liked older men. Just not him- ) who made you laugh on your front doorstep and who had you in a better mood all the damn time now- Even when he wasn't around. You would be sitting with Norman at his dinner table and you would just think of this, this 'Klaus', and you would go quiet, and sometimes giggle. And Norman was sure that if he touched you (Like he so wanted to!!)- your cheeks would be red hot, too.

🥀 Norman was so frustrated, and if you were a more suspicious person then you would have noticed how quiet and gruff he would get when you mentioned Klaus. But you weren't, you just thought your friend Norman was going through something. Or he was uncomfortable talking about your romantic life- which was just fine ^^

🥀And that wasn't the only thing you weren't noticing, either.

🥀Klaus had enough red flags to equip an army. He was more subtle about it then Norman could ever be, sure, but that wasn't saying much.

🥀 Klaus looked at you like a meal, so much so that waiters worried about you going home with him. Every second sentence out of his mouth was a double innuendo that you didn't quite get but brushed off as an odd sense of humour. He always seemed to have a smooth excuse for acting oddly. And somehow he knew your name before you ever said it???? This is not all but its enough for any normal person to say nope and get out- but not you. Unfortunately, no, not you.

🥀 ... Norman definitely noticed, though. He and Klaus met pretty early on in your new relationship, as Norman would hang out with his gun on the front porch for you to come home late at night after a date. He was always itching to shoot Klaus. Klaus new damn well, too, and loved it.

🥀 You introduced your lovely, grouchy best friend and Klaus all-sweetly, having them shake hands like gentlemen as you kneeled down to pet Shadow.

🥀 While you were looking away they entered the GORIEST of eye-contact battles. Norman was saying through his eyes that he doesn't trust the other man for one damn second and he better back off you, as he subtly tapped the shotgun resting in his lap. Any norman man would've feared Norman, would've left you in the dust- but unfortunately, for Norman, he wasnt even dealing with a man.

🥀Klaus' laughing eyes pretty much just thought back... this should be fun.

🥀 He wasn't about to let an old blind soldier threaten him- but he also wasn't going to take it too seriously. Why would he? Clearly, your friend was in love with you... or at least wanted to fuck you. He could use that. Of course, you were his target. You were what mattered... Any enjoyment Klaus would get out of rubbing it into the Norman's tired old face that you were with him (inviting him to your bedroom at night, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, laughing at his jokes) instead- would just have to simply be a glorious bonus.

🥀 And ohhhhhhhhh did he rub it in. He really did. Klaus took every oppertunity that he got to show off, using Norman's evidently advanced hearing against him in the worst way.

🥀 ... so yes. 'Klaus'... being a literal demon... took to leaving the windows open when you would sleep together. And he would try to do it on the lower level of your house, just to make it that little bit easier for the old blind man next door to hear. To be tortured. To hopefully fall asleep to your sounds that intoxicate- when they aren't for him.

🥀 IN FACT- Klaus snuck into Norman's house one time, hid a speaker, and.... yeahhhhhhh you get it.

🥀 Norman would tear his own home apart looking for the source of your sounds, but would never find it. He would just have to white-knuckle his own damn mattress until Inkubus- *cough* 'Klaus', would finally, mercifully, allow you to fall asleep.

🥀 Norman would retaliate by keeping you so busy on nights that he knows you're supposed to go out with Klaus, that either you forget about it until Klaus actually turns up and finds you in Norman's house, or you're too tired to really be any fun for Inkubus.

🥀 He does this by asking you if you would be so kind as to help him out with his gardening, or cleaning out a cupboard, or cataloguing his books.

🥀 Klaus ends up knocking at your door... getting no response (which irks him in the first place)... and slowly turning to Norman's dwellings and glares. Of course, the blind man is at it again. When will he learn?

🥀 (And oh, the look on his face when he finds you on your knees in Norman's bedroom. A bemused grin at you as you apologise and say oh no I forgot!! norman needed help with something and- before you look away, still explaining your adorable self, and it turns into more of a grimace- at Norman. Like are you serious?)

🥀 ... predictably, it quickly became world war iii between them, with Norman still holding out the darkest hope that he can somehow have you as his one day, you blissfully unaware, and unknowingly to the both of you- Inkubus trying to do much worse to you and probably Norman as well now but getting caught up in a gross, petty little territory war instead. Eh, he's got time to kill. Why not?

[simnostalgia]

Lol Linda didn't JUST namedrop DeeDee and shit on her content. She downloaded ALL OF DEEDEE'S CONTENT on tumblr looking for stuff that had too big of textures and only found ONE ITEM. She decided to put Deedee on blast for that one issue.

She's going through free creator's stuff in order to find anything she can point out as flawed and say "THESE FREE CREATORS ARE THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE PINK FLASHING!! ONLY ME AND MY PERMA-PAYWALL FRIENDS KNOW HOW TO MAKE CONTENT!! SO BUY FROM US!!"

I guess they're not making enough money rn so they have to whine and bitch about people who provide their stuff for free.

Mean-fucking-while, Linda and her friends are taking meshes from GorillaGorillaGorilla, Bank42, Rimmings, Backtrack CC and MAMY other sims 4 CC creators, converting them to sims 2 and making a profit off of OTHER PEOPLE'S MESHES AND TEXTURES.

They're like "wahhh making good conversions is hard!! I deserve to be payed for the work I do!"

But you know what's even harder? Making models from scratch! If you and your paywall buddies want to understand why people are pissed off at you, Linda, TRY MAKING MESHES FROM SCRATCH YOURSELF. It's not fucking easy. You are making money off of other people's models+textures, including bodyshapes, clothes, furniture and more. This is someone else's hard work you're making a profit off of.

Also. The "pink flashing" is just a fucking excuse. She's like "I have mine and my friends' content in my game and I never experience pink flashing!"

Yeah? Well i guess what? I have content from deedee, fakeblood, R13 and other creators she decides to shit on and I don't experience pink-flashing either! I don't even experience crashing. This is because pink-flashing has nothing to do with high-poly meshes or big textures! I know people who play with no cc at all and get pink-flashing. We still don't know the cause of it.

I bet if Linda got a different laptop, she'd be experiencing pink-flashing left-and-right, because I do have some of her shit from and GOD ARE THEY HIGH POLY AS FUCK.

On another note.. Sorry about the rant; I had to get it out of my system because I don't have a public tumblr blog, but I've been using tumblr to find cc for years, and I've been following this Linda drama since like 2020. It still makes me fucking lividd.

OMFG You're KIDDING. She downloaded ALL of her stuff just to try and be a bitch? Amazing. I knew that she was the worst but I had no idea it was like that.

It's so funny because back in like '21 when we were having all that drama about Sunny targeting pay creators I was always like they suck but honestly live and let pirate, you know? If someone's stupid enough to pay for this shit, let them. I never had a problem as long as they didn't try to impede on pirating. Get your bag, girl.

But what exactly is Linda trying do? Make people feel like paying for content is the only reasonable way to get it?

[magentagalaxies]

making my own post bc i have thoughts and i don't want to keep having to go back and forth with tags and replies on someone else's post:

anyway original post i started this conversation on: @charlotterenaissance

my tag essay:

@liliana-von-k's reply:

(all this context is bc i have even more thoughts so i thought i should make my own post)

anyway to respond to that i 100% agree!! it also reminds me of something from my very first conversation with bruce (when we did a zoom interview before we knew each other) which idk if i've posted this aspect of before: i forget what my exact question was but i essentially brought up this kind of paradigm the KITH's female characters are often discussed in and how it's kind of strange comparing it to the actual representation of female characters in the show. like, sure dave "passes" the most as a conventionally-attractive female character, but also i'd honestly say any of the kids in the hall can pass as female, not even just from a genderqueer perspective but from a not all women are "conventionally attractive" perspective. like i know cis women who have a jawline like bruce's or a nose like scott's or any other feature that isn't seen as "feminine" from (often white-eurocentric) beauty standards and many of them are gorgeous.

and the fact that KITH's female characters are often discussed through a lens of "who plays the best woman" (meaning the one who "passes" according to beauty standards) is as frustrating as it is fascinating bc i really do think it points to the way the media tries to comprehend this gender nonconformity and shove it into a box they can understand. because the kids in the hall have already destroyed the most obvious box their female characters could be put in - yes, they are male comedians, but even though the most often way society rationalizes men dressing femininely is as a comedic act (whether as a man purposefully trying to elicit comedy via feminine actions and dress or via a man who genuinely enjoys feminine expression being made an object of ridicule via comedy), the kids in the hall break this framework (this "binary", if you will) by being comedians who are in control of the audience's laughter, but playing their femininity as genuine. you don't laugh with them at their femininity because they do not laugh at femininity, but you also can't make their femininity the subject of ridicule because their position as comedians means they are at once in on the joke and steering the joke in another direction. this technique is more subtextual (and likely subconscious) in the portrayal of female characters, but it's a tactic scott knowingly (and expertly) employs when playing buddy cole

so since the "men in dresses equals comedy" box is eliminated, cishet society feels the need to create another box for them to rationalize this gender nonconformity in, by attributing it to a spectacle other than humor. so they decide to instead view these gender transgressions through the lens of beauty and sexual attractiveness. this also helps rationalize any confusing attraction a cishet person has to one of the kids in the hall dressed as a woman - they pass too well, or at least whichever one you're attracted to (most often dave) does. making a spectacle of the kids in the hall playing women eliminates any confusion or implications that maybe gender and sexuality isn't as rigid as we think, by othering these performers as a special case and convincing yourself that there is no real woman who looks like dave foley in drag, and if there was she would be cis.

it's a slightly better box to be in than having the femininity be the target of ridicule, but it still misses the point that the femininity explored in kids in the hall is not meant to be othered. it leaves out so many of the show's most iconic female characters - fran is not glamorous, but she is a realistic woman. chicken lady is more chicken than lady, but she is still a well-written female character - and reduces others to their attractiveness when the sketch itself is not about that at all. and when i brought this up to bruce he sounded as though he had been waiting for someone to make this analysis, because even though the guys joke about it themselves it is at times uncomfortable to be in an interview that focuses so much on how the interviewer finds dave in drag sexy, or picking apart which physical aspect of the guys passes best. i think i remember bruce saying something to the effect of "no one's asking which one of us is the most hot playing a business man, but that's just as different of a person from us as playing a woman"

and it's interesting to think about this in the context of how the media in general treats people who identify as women in this framework of focusing on physical attractiveness all the time. in recent years, this behavior is more widely known to be sexist af so the overtness has declined (tho is it absolutely still present to some degree), but since the kids in the hall are all male it's fair game to make these sorts of comments about their female characters to their face, because it's spectacle and separate from them. even the exact same people who would call out a comment being made about a cis female comedian are often oblivious of how it could potentially apply to these male comedians, or have other bizarre lines within their ability to rationalize this gender nonconformity for themselves.

take the "wedding dresses" sketch that was censored from the amazon revival for example (this sketch was showcased at sketchfest's "scenes they wouldn't let us do" and has appeared in kith live shows since 2015). this sketch was censored because even though amazon would let the guys play women (and even then it was often an uphill battle), they would not let the wedding dresses sketch air because it featured men wearing wedding dresses in a comedic setting. the rule of thumb seemingly is: men wearing dresses is always comedic (and therefore transphobic), unless he (typically dave foley) passes too well, in which case trans people have nothing to do with the conversation. but the fact that they were men dressed femininely was never the point of the joke, it was the idea of a wedding dress, a significant garment symbolizing an event meant to be only worn for one day, being these guys' everyday wear and all the conflicts and community that came from that. it was an ode to the outsiders, a celebration of those who live and present unconventionally. and the fact that it's never about gender is in itself the most upliftingly genderqueer thing of all.