#because i don't explain it well enough or they're just dismissive of my concerns or some other stupid reason like that

[genspiel]

i fucking hate having teeth i fucking hate having teeth i fucking hate having teeth i fucking hate having teeth

[strangersteddierthings]

Good People

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Final Part

Wayne knows eavesdropping isn't the done thing. He's definitely old enough to know better, and he wasn't going to. He had a plan. He was going to walk directly into the living room, so they'd know he was awake, and after he'd fixed his cup of coffee, he'd plopped into his perfectly worn in recliner and subtly glare at the Harrington boy until he squirmed.

Mostly because it amused Wayne, but also just a little sliver of it was because he wanted the Harrington boy to know Wayne didn't think he was good enough for his boy. But only a little! Lord knows that Wayne couldn't do anything to make Eddie change his mind about Steve Harrington, short of Harrington proving Wayne right. Which he doesn't actually want because he doesn't want Eddie hurt.

He's just... He expects it to happen. That's what boys like Harrington do to boys like Eddie. He's seen it enough times to know that this song and dance leave no room for improvisation. Boys like Harrington play around, get their kicks with the devotion Eddie shows them, and then when they've had their fill, they leave.

Boys like Harrington will never be good enough for Eddie, but they always leave with Eddie feeling like he's not enough. Wayne hates it.

Anyway, his plan wasn't to eavesdrop. It's just that Harrington said his name and Wayne found himself standing still instead of continuing.

"Why doesn't Wayne like me?" Harrington asks.

"This again?" Eddie says dismissively, which has Wayne agreeing. His opinion shouldn't have bearing on their friendship.

A deep sigh from Harrington before, "I just. It's- he means so much to you. And, like, I- nevermind. It's stupid. I'm stupid."

"Hey," Eddie sounds a type of serious that Wayne rarely hears from him, "you're not stupid. And you gotta quit fucking saying that. You say it enough and you'll start to believe it and it's not true."

"Hard to quit feeling stupid when people dismiss my concerns like they are stupid," Harrington snaps back, bitchy as can be. The tone makes Wayne bristle on behalf of Eddie. His boy doesn't reply immediately, though. Doesn't bite back like Wayne's used to hearing. Huh. Maybe he's growing up, just a little.

"You're right, Steve," Eddie says when he finally speaks. "That was dismissive. I'm sorry. Explain it to me. Why does it matter to you whether Wayne likes you or not?"

"Well, because he's your family."

"Yeah," Eddie agrees, "he is. But that doesn't explain why it matters. I don't care if your parents like me or not."

"That's different!"

"How?" Eddie asks, soft but firm.

"Because their opinion doesn't matter. It's not- It's irrelevant. What they think."

"That makes no sense. Wayne's opinion matters because he's my family, but your parents' opinion doesn't even though they're your family?"

"Yes!"

"But why?" Eddie presses.

"Because they're bad people!" Steve bursts, not quite shouting but close. "Because when bad people don't think highly of you, it's not a fault in you. Their disproval is, like, a compliment. They don't like you because you're too different from them. And that's great! You shouldn't want their approval. It's different, because your uncle is a good person. And when a good person doesn't like you, it is your fault. It's something- it's..." Harrington loses steam here, voice dropping low and defeated, "there's something wrong with me. Something in me that- that he just knows. Senses about me or whatever. Something wrong or rotten or-"

"Steve! That's bullshit. Sure, Wayne's been standoffish, but he'll come around. You're not wrong, or rotten, or whatever else you think you are."

"How do you know that? I was an asshole most of life and what if that's just the real me? What if that's who I'll always be deep down. 'Cause I'm trying so damn hard, man. I'm giving it my all trying to be a better person and it's not enough! Everyone still talks about who I was in high school and even you-" Harrington snaps his mouth closed so hard that Wayne hears the clack of his teeth from his position in the hallway. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I'm sorry."

"Steve. This is about more than just my uncle's opinion of you, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I want you, too. I want to know if I've ever done anything to make you feel like you aren't enough."

Wayne really shouldn't be listening. He should back down the hall and into his room. Give them time to talk.

"No, Eddie, you don't make me feel like- that's not what I meant. I just. I'm...."

"Hey, Stevie, you can tell me."

"I'm just so afraid that... That one day everyone will wake up and realize what Wayne already knows. That I'm not good enough for them. For you."

Oh. Wayne really shouldn't be listening.

"I'll admit that Wayne's opinion is important to me, for a lot of things. But not about you. What I feel about you, how I feel about you, isn't dictated by Wayne."

"Sure. I mean, I know that, like, logically or whatever. But it's. I can't convince my brain that you won't just. Hate me one day. And I- fuck, Eddie, I'm already halfway in love with you and-"

"You're in love with me?" Eddie interrupts, sounding awed, starstruck, and Wayne cannot be listening anymore. He backs down the hall silently and back into his room.

Steve Harrington seems to think that he's a good person, but he's not feeling like a good person at the moment.

He's got some thinking to do.

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

Could you do Papa Copia x reader headcanons for an accident prone reader, but they have a high pain tolerance? They also tend to not really share their injuries as well unless absolutely necessary? Due to an ear condition I grew up with chronic pain, so at some point I just sort of got used to it. But I've done a lot of dumb things and gotten hurt from it but always played it off as if it were fine. Like my hand was small enough it got stuck in door of a car to the point it was able to lock and I couldn't pull my hand out. My mom didn't believe me when I said my hand was locked in the car until she walked around to my side. Her reaction was far bigger than mine. Or one time I burnt my hand in order to save my pizza from hitting the floor. Later my family questioned why I was just sitting eating pizza with a hand covered in blisters. I feel poor little Copia would have a heart attack 😂

I had so much fun writing these headcanons because Copia would absolutely become an even bigger worry wort than he already is if that's even possible oops. I won't say 'be careful' because as someone who is clumsy and accident prone myself I know that it can't be helped a lot of the time, so instead I'm manifesting that you never get hurt seriously!! I hope I did this request right and that you enjoy it <3 There's no smut, but there is a very slightly suggestive part nearer the end

Copia is a little oblivious to certain things, so it's not difficult to not tell him about your injuries

Especially when your injuries don't really hurt in the first place so it doesn't really register as something you'd have to tell him about

It's actually either his Ghouls or one of the other Papas that would bring it up with him

Because they'd notice that maybe you have some bruises or injuries and they're concerned that you haven't gone to the infirmary for any of them

None of them think in a million years that Copia has caused any of them, but they are a little concerned that you're hiding something because of course when someone says they tripped or fell when they get injured a lot that warning bell does instinctually ring

But then one of them see you actually fall or injure yourself and how you don't really react or show that you feel any pain and they realise very quickly what's going on

Like, they're walking a little distance behind you as you're both descending some stairs in the abbey

And they're old, steep stairs and easy to fall down

And when they watch you topple down the stairs and start yelling in a panic

But you don't even really flinch or wince when you get up. Just dust yourself off as they speed down the rest of the steps to check you over

And while they check you over and you dismiss them despite having obviously injured yourself in a way that should be more painful than you say it is they realise that your pain tolerance is very high

With the result of this pain tolerance meaning that you just play it off and don't really worry about what happened

I imagine Terzo is probably the most likely to bring it up with Copia

The moment Copia finds out how accident prone you are and how you get injured but never tell anyone because you don't really feel it as much as others would he will be hovering around you constantly for a couple of weeks

He witnesses you burning yourself getting food out of the oven and he swears he's about to have a heart attack

At this point, he now carries a first aid kit around with him everywhere even if you tell him he doesn't need to do that

He accidentally traps your finger in a door and he's more upset than you are. Cries and apologises profusely while you have to reassure him that you're fine and it really didn't hurt all that much

God forbid you ever break a bone in his presence because he will start to panic and you have to be the voice of reason calming him down and telling him what to do

It gets to a point where you have to explicitly explain to him that you grew up with chronic pain which is why your pain tolerance is so high and why you don't worry or panic when you injure yourself

And then you tell him about all the other accidents you've had around the Ministry, which is meant to comfort and reassure him that you're used to pain and know how to take care of yourself but instead it makes him worry even more

He'll feel guilty for not noticing your injuries before now and might be a little hurt that you didn't tell him because he'll take that to mean you didn't trust him

Give him time and he'll slowly come to the realisation that it was never about you trusting him. It's genuinely because you didn't see any reason to tell him because it wasn't serious, it didn't hurt, and your used to pain because of growing up with chronic pain as well as being accident prone

Terzo is a godsend because he sits Copia down to talk about how he also grew up being very accident prone and he gets it. Because Terzo doesn't tell anyone about his injuries or accidents either (much to the annoyance of Omega)

After that, Copia will still worry whenever he sees you have an accident or notices a bruise or injury

But instead of panicking or feeling guilty for not noticing, he will press gentle kisses to every bruise and injury and will ask if you need anything from him

You better believe he'll also be kissing every single injury, bruise, or scar on your body when you're in bed together too

He'll trail his fingers over any little burn or scars on your hands and fingers

Calls them a patchwork that tells your story when you're alone together

He loves you very much and hates that you get injured and have accidents so much, but after a while and being talked to by Terzo he does get it

He'll always worry, but he doesn't outwardly panic and freeze up anymore because he trusts that you'll tell him if you do have an accident or injury that's serious enough for him to know about

[shameonmeeguiltypleasure]

Ben being a source of jealousy for Colin will be something that Pen will be aware? I can see your Penelope using that information.

Also, can you elaborate more on why/how Colin escalated a mention of a 'random' name to be something of to be concerned? I don't remember the chapter, but it was at a ball and I'm pretty sure that's what Colin said to Penelope after she told him that Anthony and Benedict danced with her and he punctuated to her that Ben was married but totally dismissed Anthony because he wasn't of his concern.

Camarlez!! Grateful for the ask <3<3 All the infinite love xx

SMB Colin has… issues. They haven't really come across or been explored/highlighted cause I'm breadcrumbing for the future. SMB is definitely an AU series and I am taking my time building it.

I'm trying my best to focus on SMB Polin's relationship. So things aren't really going to start rolling until after Maccasfield ball (because if you remember book timelines we're very close to the LW discovery).

I will say that when it comes to Authority, SMB Colin accepts and respects Anthony as an authority figure. Ben…mmh it's a bit of a toss-up. Colin has had a bit of a one-sided unspoken rivalry since childhood toward Ben since Edmund died and it has a lot to do with Eloise. Poor Ben is a victim of circumstance tbh when it comes to Colin's ridiculous jealousy and complex. (You're absolutely right that Pen uses this against Colin when it suits her).

As I mentioned before (seriously need to update the tags) UNRELIABLE NARRATORS! I keep picking and choosing what to share and phrasing things a certain way on purpose to keep the mystery and tension going. (Although I know I gotta start writing answers soon lol. This is just dragging at this point). I really wanted SMB to be a story readers could re-read over and over again and discover something knew they didn't think to consider the last time they read it (ambitious, I know, but I'm trying)

I think the chapter & scene you're referring to was for Violet's bday and it was Polin's first dance since Colin returned from Greece (?) [SMB Chapter Two]

Let me explain my writing choices & intentions:

So when Pen says Colin is no longer obligated to dance with her. Colin was triggered cause in his head it translated to 'I don't need you/ I'm not interested in entertaining you anymore'. One could argue it was the first time she ever dismissed him (unintentionally but Colin is a moody boy and an extremist). Despite her agreeing to the dance, it's too late, his mind is going wild with theories about why she didn't immediately say yes. (Which is why his reaction to her saying 'Why' after he said 'Marry me' might make a little more sense)

During the dance we're reading from Penelope's pov, and all she understands is Colin being weird and having mood swings that eventually annoyed her. If we were reading from Colin's pov, the scene would be entirely different. How? Well, they're physically close while dancing and Colin is noticing all kinds of things about Penelope and his brain is like 'If I'm seeing her like this, who else has?'. BOOM!! Jealous Colin ACTIVATED.

When Pen has enough of his mood and tries to leave after the dance… BOOM!! Possessive Colin Activated.

When he crowds her and demands she tells him who she dances with when he's out of the country, Pen begins her sentence by mentioning Ben's name… BOOM!! Jealous & Possessive Colin enters the red-level danger zone. (Is that Controlling Colin possibly being activated !?!)

You might be wondering: But Why is Colin more threatened by Ben than Anthony when it comes to Penelope?

I remind you of my statement earlier. Colin has had a bit of a one-sided unspoken rivalry since childhood toward Ben since Edmund died and it has a lot to do with Eloise. Poor Ben is a victim of circumstance tbh when it comes to Colin's ridiculous jealousy and complex.

Anthony is the eldest of them all and Colin respects him 100% for it. He doesn't fight against Anthony's decisions as the head of the family (Anthony is the Alpha of their pack if we go wolf pack mentality). Ben tho? Ben doesn't want to be the leader or decision-maker. Ben wants to paint. (I'm leaning more toward the show for Ben's characterization cause I haven't read his book). Ben likes being the easy-going second-born and Colin can't help but envy Ben for knowing exactly what he wants to do in life. Boom!! Inferiority Complex Colin has appeared.

If Ben weren't his brother, Colin probably would have done something horrible to make him disappear. When Eloise wants to really hurt Colin when she's pissed at him or he's pushed her too far, she uses Ben to dig at Colin. (It works every time). That's not to say that Colin hates Ben, he loves his brother as deeply as he does all his treasured ones.

But Colin struggles with tempering his envy and jealousy towards Ben the most out of his siblings. Why? Because Ben knows his purpose. And over the years, Colin has noticed that after him, Benedict is the second male presence Penelope is comfortable enough to be around. (Of course, this is again a bit of Eloise's fault because Ben & Eloise are as close as Showverse and well Penelope really took a shine to Sophie)

I'm gonna stop here, but gawds have I enjoyed sharing where my brain was when writing these scenes. Thank you so much for the ask (I hope I answered it lol) and hopefully this satisfied :)

My ask is always open.

<3

[saltymongoose]

Hi Mongoose and Frog-anon! (Maybe I should just take up an identity now lol. Maybe Spectre-anon? I don't remember if anyone got that one. 8s) It's so funny that you started talking about who would have seen Batter's other side. I was thinking about this last night too! The situation with Jeb feels so spot-on, Mongoose! The Phobos one feels so true- just- oh man- if HE could see Batter's other side. I support it so much, haha.

If I could add my two cents on it, I definitely want to vouch for the Employers not seeing it. If they knew, they'd probably wouldn't have let Batter stick nearly as close to the Player. Their arrogance and dismissal of Batter prevents them from seeing it for a long time after, if at all. I kinda think of it as a Dedan situation. Hank is in the same boat, but even if he does see it, he doesn't comment on it. Batter could look like anything, and Hank doesn't care. Hank will only prove: he is better in every way-- especially in the threatening department.

San and Dei are grouped with Phobos, seeing the flickers. They can't explain it neither, just that SOMETIMES it's there. Asking the Player doesn't help much, since the response to seeing the weirdness is "oh yeah, it's fine," or "he's always been like that." They slightly relax at this, but will subtly pull the Player away from Batter when the flickering gets more active. It just puts them on edge.

2B isn't around Batter often to see it, what with frequently staying behind at the base and not wanting to interact more than necessary. He tries to scrutinize Batter for the anomalies in-person and via footage, after being warned by San and Dei. There is something off(//shot) … but 2B begrudgingly hasn't acquired concrete proof. It's a bit of a blow to the individual whose specialties relate to intel and observation.

Jebus sees it, and he's in the same situation as the Player in being able to actually control how he perceives Batter. Jebus doesn't really have a preference how Batter appears, as long as Batter continues to prioritize "protecting the player" above all. (Well, maybe the normal side... Jebus doesn't like imagining that THING hovering around the Player when he's not around.)

Tricky definitely sees it and screams "DUCK!1!1!! :D." Enough said. Lmao.

That's it for now. I just wanted to get this out there. I have the urges to draw so much of this. >8O

"ayo, it's frog anon! speaking about bad batter, how'd the main 4 react to him? cause i think if they knew the guy can look like a giant monstrous lizard, they'd hold it over his head constantly about how the player would react so negatively and hate him once they found out that their "favorite" puppet was a monster capable of hurting them. that is until the player either goes "ah, lizard monster, very cool :]" or "yeah i knew, still think he's neat though" giving the batter more to gloat with" - Frog Anon 🐸

Both of these asks are pretty similar, so I decided to group them together, hope you guys don't mind! 😅 Also, I checked and it seems Spectre Anon isn't taken so you're good on that haha. :)

So for how the other grunts would react to The Batter's more monstrous form, I think that Spectre Anon is right in who would be more concerned about this situation. Beginning with Hank, he wouldn't really care about what form the Batter takes or why. His main focus is on how to make it known that he's better than your puppet in every way possible, not what his competition's appearance is. It doesn't matter if they're humanoid or monstrous, if they want your attention he's going to treat them as a threat either way. Plus, Hank has great faith in your intelligence; if you'd been controlling the Batter for so long, why the hell wouldn't you know about this other form of his? He just assumes you're aware of it and continues with his efforts for your favor.

(Under a cut again because wow there's a lot of characters here)

Sanford, Deimos, and Doc see it differently though. For the former, it worries them at first. Nevada's not exactly new to weird elements like this, but for one of your companions from another world, it's concerning. There was no explanation for the monster that they saw in the place of the Batter in those rare moments, and the fact that the flickers happened so rarely made them think he was intentionally trying to hide this side from you. It made them more protective, and they tried to separate you from him more often. When they managed to do that, Deimos would definitely be the one to make little jabs at the Batter for his appearance. Trying to sew the seeds of doubt in his mind about how rational it would be for someone like you to want to be with him, perhaps even threatening to "reveal" this supposed secret of his. Sanford does the same in a way, but he hints at how disdainful your puppets "dishonesty" is, as if he were able to turn into a weird crocodilian thing it'd be one of the first things he told you. (Surprisingly enough, Hank also joins in on some of this but he doesn't leverage anything about your approval in it, it's literally just insults lol.)

Although it frustrates them greatly when the Batter has no reaction to their taunts or suspicion. Honestly, he doesn't care about their opinions; he has you already so what's the point in listening? It's not like those impure beings know him anyway, and the only person whose input actually matters to him is you. Deimos and Sanford wonder why it has no effect, but the answer would come after they finally managed to pry him from your side just long enough to tell you about his strange form. But instead of being surprised (or scared, for that matter) you're just like "oh, you see him that way sometimes? That's interesting. Kinda cool, isn't it?"

(And despite your nonchalant reaction, it actually is kind of intriguing that they see the Batter's "Bad Batter" form. Because that only happens if you see the Batter as something of an enemy. The Batter always looks like himself either way, but the only time you saw this other viewpoint of him was with the Judge's ending so you know something's going on. It seems the boys disliked him more than you thought.)

2B's suspicion of your puppet only increases with the form. He's not around you and the Batter enough to tell for certain what's going on, and his own attempts and investigation fell flat. While he'd loathe asking the others for help on matters concerning you (since they usually get defensive or suspicious of what he's planning on doing), he'll have to do so here, which irks him. But once he finds out that he wasn't just imagining things and that there really is something off (ahaha) with the Batter, it just makes him more wary.

To Doc, it doesn't matter if you're aware of its existence, just the fact that he has the capability of becoming that thing is unnerving. Surely something of that stature would have its own instincts and impulses? What if the Batter lacked his usual self-restraint with you around? What if he hurt you? It'd be easy to do with teeth like that, and even easier to overpower you if you resisted. Your safety is Doc's first priority, so he'll try to work with San and Dei to separate you as much as possible when these "flickers" start happening more often. Though he can't stop his lip from curling in disgust when he sees it. How weren't you even the slightest bit unsettled?

Moving on to Jeb and the Employers, Jeb's in a similar boat to Hank in not really caring about what form the Batter takes. However, he has a bit more control over how he sees him. Unlike the main four, Jeb feels less animosity towards your puppet, something that's reciprocated (a little, but still). This means that the flickers happen very rarely, so much so that he didn't even really notice the Batter could look different until you actually mentioned it. But any reservations he has against your puppet are removed by your reassurance, so he doesn't have much of an opinion. (At least not openly.)

The Employers also don't care, but they aren't given the chance to because of their own dismissal of the Batter as a legitimate threat to them. He's annoying; a mere pest to be rid of, but he isn't worth consideration beyond that. As such, he was never a monster to them. Besides, the Auditor is the embodiment of a "portal to hell", and all of them could be considered monsters in their own right, so it'd be hypocritical for them to think that anyway. Then again, it's not like they cared about that in matters concerning you anyway haha.

Finally, Tricky would probably just agree with whatever your interpretation is, and his opinion on threats to your love is generally the same across the board. Essentially, he'd think the Batter's form is cool because hey, big strong things with sharp teeth are fun to fight! And he is going to try to fight the Batter because that's what he does with all of his rivals. He's not really worried about the Batter's other form because he plans on getting rid of him either way, Ducky or no. (And yes, he would totally yell something like that the moment he sees him lol).

[madara-fate]

I also wasn't insinuating that MinaKushi or DanTsu are the only good examples of good romantic relationships (I don't even care about these pairing for the record, or any other pairing in Naruto). I'm just pointing out that people do not doubt that Minato loves Kushina or that Dan loves Tsunade. If Sasuke genuinely loved Sakura and Kishimoto did a good job at showing it, then there would not be a huge debate on whether he does love her or not, because it would be obvious to pretty much everyone that he does, whether they like the ship or not. The fact that it's not and that so many people still debate on this to this day either shows that Kishimoto did a poor job at showing Sasuke as a loving husband either that Sasuke does not love her, despite that "love is the real deal" line or his reply to Sarada's question. It's show vs tell if you know what I mean. On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans. It's either a case of bad writing either Sasuke simply does not love Sakura. I personally don't know what to think. I tend to lean towards the first option, it may just be bad writing after all. He admitted he's not great at writing romance and to be honest? It shows. It is even implied they haven't kissed in Gaiden by Sakura looking sad when Sarada asked her if they ever kissed. And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to concieve Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person. Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke. It's really easy to see this ship as... problematic, to say the least. I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt tho and blame it on bad writing rather than on Kishimoto simply implying SS is not really a loving relationship, but if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

I already answered a lot of the points you made here in my response to your previous ask, but it's important for people to remember the type of person Sasuke is, and understand that the manner in which he shows affection isn't the same as Dan or Minato. It's a lot more subtle. Are people doubting that Vegeta loves Bulma and Trunks? No, so then people need to ask themselves - in which ways has Vegeta demonstrated that he loves his family in ways that Sasuke hasn't? Both of them aren't outwardly affectionate, both of them aren't romantic, but both of them have undoubtedly demonstrated that they love their family. Yet, only one of them is questioned. It really is just a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. If Sasuke acts all affectionate like Dan and Minato, people will claim that he's OOC (like they did for Sasuke Retsuden), but if he stays reserved and demonstrates affection in his own way, people will just turn a blind eye and say he doesn't care. It really just shows how little they actually know Sasuke's character. To think that Sasuke, who hails from the clan which values love above all else, would marry and start a family with someone he doesn't love.

On one hand he tells us that "love is the real deal" but on the other hand he does not really show it all too well, which makes many people think whether he truly meant those words or he was being sarcastic and simply mocked the fans.

People actually think that Kishi may have been "sarcastic" when he described their love as the real deal. Oh my goodness. Why would Kishi purposely give wrong information to the readers (and never reveal what's actually going on)? Why would he intentionally want the readers to misunderstand his story and characters? Why would he want to portray his 2nd biggest character as someone who would enter a loveless marriage when that literally goes against the ways of his clan and his entire character? Do people not listen to themselves?

It's like how so many people claim that Sasuke saying "because you exist" means that the only reason he and Sakura are still together is because of Sarada, and people really don't realise how stupid that sounds. They don't stop and ask themselves why Sarada would be brought to happy tears, why Chouchou would describe her as lucky, and why Naruto would give her a knowing smile, if Sasuke had really just insinuated that she was the only thing that was keeping her parents together:

They just don't think. They apparently believe that Chouchou was happily thinking to herself "aww, lucky Sarada, you're the only thing keeping your parents together!", and that makes sense to them apparently, Chouchou being so happy for Sarada after hearing such awful news. It's unbelievable.

And I know you like to refute that by saying that it's preposterous to think they haven't kissed when they obviously had sex in order to conceive Sarada, but the thing is, it is entirely possible to have sex with someone but not kiss. It really is. When you're having sex but you're not really enjoying it or when you have simply been pressured and pestered into having sex with a person.

This is just like the people who believe that Sasuke is gay, justifying their ridiculous claims by pointing out how "you can be gay and still marry a woman", and to that I always say - Why would Sasuke do that? Just like to you I'll say - Why would Sasuke do that? To have sex and not kiss? Why would Sasuke of all people be "pressured and pestered" into entering a relationship with someone? He obviously has no problem whatsoever with bluntly turning people down. If he doesn't want to do something, he's not gonna do it. Heck, if you're using Sakura Hiden to try and prove your points then I'll also use a novel to prove this one - The lipstick stain scene during Sasuke Shinden: The Teacher's Star Pupil, explicitly indicates that Sakura and Sasuke had kissed earlier that day. The motorbike scene during Naruto Retsuden has Sakura kiss Sasuke. Sasuke and Sakura having kissed, is not (and has never been) a topic that's open to discussion.

Sakura Hiden confirmed the fact that Sakura was determined to confess her feelings to Sasuke over and over again until he would've eventually reciprocated. She compared that with punching a villain over and over until they're defeated. Now please tell me, would it be so far fetched to consider that harassment? If someone tells you no once, you have to respect their rejection and stop pursuing them, not take it as a challenge to persist in reaffirming your feelings over and over again until they eventually get tired or take pity in you and accept to give you a chance. And even in Gaiden it was confirmed that Sakura had to chase after Sasuke.

I've already talked at length about that scene from Sakura Hiden so I won't do so again here, but I'll link the relevant post where I explained how that scene obviously was not meant to be taken as a negative comment, but people will of course just twist things in order to suit their own anti Sakura/SS agenda.

But if other people are not convinced or deny that Sasuke loves Sakura, you have to let your bias aside and admit that they have reasons to believe that. The writing makes it really easy to interpret it either way, depending on your preferences.

No, here's what people need to understand. If people think that Sasuke's love towards Sakura was not adequately shown, then that's a reason to criticise the writing. It is not however, a reason to deny what is canon. They are stating that Sasuke does not love Sakura, despite the fact that this has explicitly been stated. Sasuke loving Sakura is a canon fact, whether they like it or not. Criticise the execution all you want, I know I have plenty of times, but don't deny the truth. Hell, since you wanted to use the novels...

During Sakura Hiden, Sasuke rushed back for Sakura's sake, despite having ignored the village's prior pleas for help. What does that say about his feelings for her?

During Akatsuki Hiden, Sasuke described Sakura as "The Spring Sunshine" which illuminated his dark life. What does that say about his feelings for her?

What does basically the entirety of Sasuke Retsuden say about his feelings for her?

Many anti SS fans are always so quick to use the novels when it suits them. And then when a novel like Sasuke Retsuden comes along and completely shits over all their theories, they're just as quick to dismiss the novel as an OOC fan fic by a sub par author, figures. As far as I'm concerned, the manga is more than enough to show that Sasuke loves his family (seriously this really isn't up for debate), but I'll also definitely say that anyone who criticises SS and uses the novels as a point of reference, is in way over their heads.

[not-poignant]

Hi idk if this is oversharing but I feel the need to say it so I will. Feel absolutely free to ignore this if you want. TW: violence. Right so my uncle, from my father's side, was over at ours for christmas 2021. He's a very kind and gentle man, and while my father has anger issues, he loves his siblings so I didn't expect there to be any issues. But alas, at night uncle and father fought physically, aggressively. My father is a big man, built in the same way I imagine Lludd is built with the addition of being POC. My uncle is obviously weaker than him. This fight was one of the worst so far: the TV got broken, glasses were shattered, and most importantly both men were physically injured. My uncle the most. Several of his ribs were broken, and he has more injuries but those haven't been confirmed and I don't want to ask. Anyway the point is, it's now mid february and I'm starting to realise that it was traumatic for me as well, even though I was upstairs and didn't even see it happening. I feel kind of like Efnisien does in regards to Lludd and I have to idea how to deal with it, or how to explain it to anyone (like my therapist). I don't think father ever physically abused me, same as I remember Efnisien thinking, but somehow I'm terrified of him? And I'm hyper aware of my ribs and get intrusive thoughts about breaking and broken ribs. Yeah I'm unsure why I'm sending this at all, but I just thought that if anyone were to unstand how I'm feeling it would be you. Sincere apologies if this triggered you, or is a bad thing to say in an ask like this. <3

Hi anon,

I'm sorry you had to experience that, that is very much a traumatising thing to experience, even though you didn't see it, it doesn't matter. Someone you loved injured someone else that you care for, and they did it in a horrible, violent matter, with blunt force trauma. If your uncle had pressed charges, what your father did was serious enough he could have gone to jail. It's something anyone would take extremely seriously (and I definitely think it's worth bringing up in therapy, no one is going to dismiss this unless they're a strange, heartless person).

I think you did a really great start honestly explaining it here. You could even copy/paste your message and hand it to your therapist to read.

Here's the thing with trauma - you don't have to directly experience the injury to be traumatised. Witnessing - or knowing - someone else has been hurt violently is enough. Especially within a family situation. You know your father is capable of seriously and physically injuring a person weaker than him. I think many people in that situation might think 'well, I'm weaker than him, what's to stop him from doing that to anyone? He's done it to a family member already, on Christmas, so what about me?' And the unconscious brain - being more animal-like and more concerned with threats - can very easily become scared and alarmed in those circumstances.

It's probably good to bring it up with your therapist when you can, so you can both start talking about it, and giving yourself space and compassion to process it. It's a hard thing to deal with! And it's also something you can deal with over time. It won't stay like this forever, especially now that you're bringing it up and talking about it more.

You're allowed to not be okay, comfortable or fine with what happened. Your uncle was the one physically injured, yes, but you have gone through an emotional injury, and also a betrayal of trust with a family member. Those things are important, and I think your brain is probably trying to communicate to you that there's stuff here to deal with.

Especially because as you mention, your father has anger issues, I don't know how safe I'd feel in that situation going: 'Hey this thing you did really hurt me, and I don't really trust you anymore, can you work on your domestic violence / anger issues so you can be safer to be around.' Which means...there's big trust issues there, and the potential for trust violation. Also I want to point out that if a person in your house breaks objects when they are angry, this is domestic violence. If he's done this before, even if he's never hurt you directly, I am very very sorry, but you are living with someone who has engaged in domestic violence. It may be that your reaction to your father has been building for a little while, and this is the thing that tipped you over <3

I'm really sorry for how difficult that is though. It can feel a bit like going crazy at times. And a bit like 'do I have a right to be so stressed out about this when he was the one who was so badly injured?' Yes! You do! It's 100% both allowed and understandable.

I don't know that I can say anything that will help, I do think it was very brave of you to bring it up here, and I really encourage you to - in your own time - really bring it up with your therapist. It's okay to want some professional support in this, and it's great that you already have a therapist you can tell (I'd gently suggest finding one if you didn't). You have a right to be supported and respected while figuring this out, and figuring out how you want to (and can) safely deal with it.

Sending lots of hugs though, anon. And also just admiration that you wrote this at all, knowing how difficult it must be to share.

[ya-girl-mc]

Hammered

Character: Tsukishima Kei × Fem Reader

Concept: Y/N joins Tsukishima and his colleagues for a night of drinking, but ends up embarrassing him as she gets wasted

A/N: Cause I miss getting drunk and doing stupid shit, hence this fic feat. our salty boi ✌ it was rly fun to write this so,, hope u enjoy it too!!

☆☆ A Haikyuu!! Fanfiction ☆☆

Light filtered through the window blinds, rousing Y/N from her slumber as she pried her eyes open, cursing to herself as she felt a stinging pain in her temples. She was hungover, pretty badly at that, and as much as she wracked her brain to try and recall the events that transpired the night before, it only made her headache much worse.

Shit...I don't feel so good.

As her eyes darted around, she was immediately relieved knowing that she was lying down on the couch in her and Tsukishima's living room, managing to deduce - despite her muddled state-of-mind - that someone must have taken care of her in her drunken stupor.

Gritting her teeth, Y/N tried to sit up slowly, wincing as her temples prickled with pain with every movement. In her peripheral vision, however, was her livid-looking boyfriend with probably the deepest scowl she's ever seen as he stared her down from where he sat.

"Kei...?"

"Did you sleep well?" While the inquiry was meant to be out of concern, Tsukishima delivered it in a monotonous, yet utterly chilling manner which only meant one thing: he was pissed.

"What happened? And what's got you frowning so early in the morning?" She carefully questioned, eager yet dreading to find out how she must have royally screwed up the night before to get him this upset. Her curiosity only infuriated Tsukishima more and Y/N could have almost sworn seeing a blackish aura swirl around him.

"You...you really don't remember a damn thing, do you?"

*****

Fridays were usually the most anticipated day of the week for most members of the working class; however, in Tsukishima's case, he was dreading this Friday in particular.

After a strenuous week at the office, his boss suggested the entire team go drinking to reward themselves for their hard work and as a means to de-stress. But, Tsukishima wasn't keen on partaking in such nights of revelry especially after a long week at work as he'd rather spend his Friday nights and weekends relaxing at home with Y/N. The only reason that he decided to tag along is due to her persistence for him to do so.

Sighing deeply to himself, Tsukishima followed his colleagues as they entered the izakaya, chattering excitedly as they settled in at a long table at the far back. Amongst the clientele for that night, one of them in particular caught his attention, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Y/N?"

She was sat on one of the stools overlooking the kitchen. At the sound of her name, she turned towards its source and grinned widely. "Kei! Fancy running into you here and I see that you're also with your team. Good boy!"

He subtly rolled his eyes and sat down on the stool next to hers, unable to fight off a smile that made its way to his face. "Yeah yeah, if I didn't join them I'd never hear the end of it from you. Anyway, are you here alone?"

"Yeah, just stopped by on the way home from work to pick up some gyoza and katsudon for dinner. But wait, maybe I should have gotten takoyaki, too? Or maybe another serving of gyoza-" Y/N rambled as she grabbed the menu, her eyes scanning rapidly over the items.

He just gazed at her in amusement, completely oblivious to the inquisitive stares his co-workers shot their way. Tsukishima in the workplace was usually placid, reserved, and mostly impassive; seeing his relaxed and pleasant demeanor as he interacted with Y/N was especially intriguing to them, wondering amongst themselves just who that woman was in Tsukishima's life.

Keen on finding out the answer, one of his senpais called him over to their table. It suddenly dawned on him that there was no other choice than to formally introduce Y/N to them. And, he definitely was not looking forward to it as he'd never hear the end of their relentless teasing. "Y/N, would you mind coming along with me for a bit?"

Discreetly straightening her clothes and smoothening her hair, Y/N nodded and followed him to where his co-workers sat, anxious to make a good first impression. At their arrival, they immediately trained their gazes on her, just as eager to find out who she was. "Everyone, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. We live together," Tsukishima stated nonchalantly.

The shock on their faces was borderline comical as they stared back at him, their jaws hanging open in disbelief. "Girlfriend?!"

He sighed, already dreading the uproar they're about to cause. Tsukishima was a private person and rarely talked about his personal life as he maintained a firm work-life boundary. It was not like he was embarrassed to introduce his girlfriend to them; he just perceived the entire ordeal to be troublesome as his colleagues would jump at any chance to find something to tease him about.

Y/N straightened herself and bowed. "Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N. Thank you very much for taking care of Kei - I mean - Tsukishima all this time."

"I can't believe this!" One of his kouhais wailed. "To think that an office drone like Tsukishima-senpai has a girlfriend, and a very pretty one at that. So what the hell am I exactly doing wrong?"

"Believe me, I could tell you everything that you need to hear," Tsukishima retorted and shot his kouhai a dagger-like glare.

One of his senpais, a man who looked to be in his late 30's, leaned over and flicked his kouhai on the forehead as he winced in response. "Stop bad-mouthing Tsukishima when his girlfriend's literally standing in front of you. Anyway, nice to meet you, Y/N!"

They instantaneously began bombarding her with questions such as "how did you two meet", "how long have you been together", "what do you do for a living", and "of all men, why Tsukishima." Unable to keep up with what almost seemed like an interrogation by his colleagues, Y/N smiled sheepishly and shot Tsukishima a pleading look, silently begging him to bail her out.

"That's enough, all of you. You're creeping the poor lady out." Y/N turned to the man that sat at the head of the table; he exuded authority which practically gives himself away as the boss. Bringing up a cup of sake to his lips, he took a sip and eyed his subordinates sternly, yet the amusement in his gaze was palpable as he shifted his attention to Y/N. "Sorry about that, we just didn't expect our lone wolf Tsukishima to have a girlfriend, so we're all excited to meet you. If you don't mind, maybe you can join us, Y/N?"

"Sir-" Tsukishima began to protest as he felt the work-life boundary he stubbornly maintained begin to crumble; but to his surprise, Y/N seemed keen on accepting the invitation, a bashful smile on her face.

"I'd be happy to, but I wouldn't want to impose-"

"You won't, don't worry about it!" He assured dismissively and proceeded to order another round of drinks and accompanying snacks. "It's a pleasure of ours to get to know you and finally get a glimpse of Tsukishima's life outside of work."

Flattered and amused at how especially eager they seemed to know more about their enigmatic colleague and his girlfriend, Y/N gratefully accepted the invitation. "Alright, a few drinks wouldn't hurt."

*****

"Okay, I remember that much...but it still doesn't explain why you're so pissed," Y/N mused, listening earnestly to Tsukishima as he filled her in on what seemed like a disastrous night of revelry caused by her drunken antics.

He sighed and took off his glasses to rub his temples, the events that transpired the night before seemingly traumatizing him. "That's because you got carried away, you idiot."

*****

A couple of shots was all it needed for Y/N to become fully accustomed with Tsukishima's colleagues and pretty soon, they were chattering away like long-time friends while he fixated his gaze on her, his eyebrows furrowing in mild displeasure.

Aren't they becoming a little bit too friendly with her? And Y/N's just two shots in and she's already starting to get tipsy. Geez, this is so troublesome.

"Hey, one at a time please! I'll answer your questions one by one," Y/N instructed quite giddily, Tsukishima gazing at her in concern as she downed her third shot. He didn't want to be a buzzkill especially when she seemed to genuinely enjoy his colleagues' company and vice versa; however, her alcohol tolerance was remarkably low and it didn't take much for her to become fully inebriated. He decided to keep a watchful eye on her instead to prevent any incident from occurring due to her drunken antics.

"So, how and when did you two meet?"

"Kei and I go way back in high school," Y/N began as everyone at the table listened to her attentively. "He was part of our school's volleyball team and looked so cool as he played! That's when I started to have a crush on him, but it was one-sided though."

And there goes her filter, Tsukishima thought to himself, concealing his exasperation by downing his cup of sake, trying as best as he can to drown out the uproar his colleagues caused at her revelation.

"No way! Tsukishima-senpai was a volleyball player? I just can't imagine that!" One of his kouhais exclaimed, completely perplexed at the thought.

Tsukishima was about to reply with another snide remark, but Y/N was quick to interject. "Hell yeah he was, and he's such a great middle blocker to boot. He played so calmly as he read his opponent's moves...ahhh that composure of his is what makes him so cool!"

While he appreciated her attempt to defend his honor, it only increased everyone's amusement as she fawned over him, much to his chagrin. "So Y/N-" One of his senpais grinned sneakily, and Tsukishima pretty much figured out what the next inquiry will be about. "-who confessed to whom?"

"Oh, that takes me way back!" She mused, leaning against the man in question who sat right next to her. "I didn't have the courage to confess since he seemed so unapproachable and indifferent, so I thought about giving up on him. But as we became seniors, we ended up in the same class and became quite close. Eventually, during our graduation ceremony, Kei pulled me aside and confessed! I was so shocked that I started crying and...well, the rest is history."

"So it was Tsukishima here who confessed!" One of his senpais beamed and threw an arm around his shoulder, clinking his sake cup with his. "The revelations just keep on coming and coming."

"But that's amazing though," their boss remarked, completely engrossed in the conversation as much as his subordinates were. "You've been together for such a long time now. It's pretty rare for high school sweethearts to last that long."

Y/N nodded earnestly and downed her fourth shot before Tsukishima had the chance to snatch it away from her hands. "I agree, but Kei is such a caring and thoughtful boyfriend! He may seem like a sour puss on the outside but he's reaaaaaally sweet and very very clingy! But shhhhh...don't tell him I said that, though."

Ugh great, now she's done it. Tsukishima almost had to cover his ears as everyone at the table guffawed, unable to stomach the idea of their placid colleague and the clingy boyfriend Y/N described being the same person. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping and praying for the evening to be over.

*****

Y/N cringed as Tsukishima helped her recall the things she had blurted out amid her inebriated state, starting to slowly understand the reason why he was so livid in the first place. "Okay...first of all, I am so sorry - with every fiber of my being - for embarrassing you like that-"

"That's not all you did," Tsukishima interjected quite menacingly and pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to keep his temper in-check. "As if that wasn't humiliating enough, you managed to exceed my expectations."

*****

A couple more shots later, Y/N was too far gone. She was completely wasted, and Tsukishima couldn't bear to look at his co-workers as they shot each other uneasy looks, the concern palpable in their wordless exchanges. He was utterly embarrassed yet frustrated at himself since she somehow managed to surpass her drinking limit despite being under his watchful eye.

"Heyyyyy, owner! Anotha' round of sake for this table right here, and put it on my tab!"

As Y/N made an attempt to leave the table, she accidentally knocked over a half-empty glass of water, the liquid spilling all over the table as a result. Giggling to herself while Tsukishima's colleagues scrambled to remove their belongings from the table, she attempted to grab a bottle of sake, but he swiftly withheld her attempt to do so, yanking it out of her reach.

"Okay, enough is enough," he reprimanded firmly, setting the bottle down on the table and bringing his face close in an attempt to get through to her. "Y/N, for the love of God, please get ahold of yourself."

"Tsukkiiii...you're hereee!" It was futile, Y/N's glassy eyes an indicator that she was in no condition to listen to reason. She smiled goofily and threw herself into his arms, the sheer force causing Tsukishima to stumble, his arm accidentally knocking over a glass to the floor as it completely shattered as a result.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, did anyone get hurt?" He exclaimed in a state of uncharacteristic panic, his arms struggling to support his drunken mess of a lover as she began mumbling unintelligibly to herself.

"We're good, Tsukishima. Don't worry about it," his boss assured. "But, I think it's best if you take her home, she doesn't look too good."

Yes, good call, that's one way to put it. Goddammit, this is too fucking embarrassing.

Pretty soon, the izakaya's owner approached the group amid the commotion, and with Tsukishima sincerely apologizing and swearing to pay for the damages, he also insisted on paying for the entire group's bill to compensate, but they turned down his offer, advising him and Y/N to get themselves home safely.

Tsukishima thought that the nightmare had ended; apparently, Y/N had more in store as she tapped his boss' shoulder, staring down at him in an attempt to look stern. "Hey sirrrr...can you lay off Tsukki sometimes? 'Cuzzzz...he comes home waaayyyy too late and we barely have enough time to get down and dir-"

"NOOO!" Tsukishima cried out in horror, completely and utterly humiliated as he scrambled to clamp his hand over Y/N's mouth in an attempt to salvage what's left of both of their dignities. However, the force caused her to stagger, her unruly arm knocking over a bottle of sake atop the table. Tsukishima was unable to do anything as he hopelessly watched it topple over, the liquid spilling and trickling down on his boss' lap as he felt every ounce of his life force drain out of his body.

God, if you're listening, then please...I don't care how you do it, but I beg of you...just kill me now.

*****

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Y/N wailed and buried her face in a pillow, unable to bring herself to look at Tsukishima as he unveiled the horrific experience he and his co-workers went through due to her drunken stupor. To say that she was embarrassed was a complete understatement; she was mortified, and it definitely was not an ideal first impression as she mourned for her long gone dignity. "Just kill me, please!"

Tsukishima was practically seething with rage at this point, wishing that the night before had just been a nightmare, yet it was nothing but a cruel reality. "You're embarrassed? How the hell do you think I feel? I lost count of the number of times I had to apologize before I hauled your drunken self home! You literally went crazy, Y/N! How careless, especially knowing that you can't handle alcohol well!"

She deserved to be scolded. Y/N lifted her head from the pillow and looked up at him, her eyes prickling with tears as she wallowed in her shame. "Kei...I'm so sorry. You're right, I was careless and I embarrassed you in front of your co-workers. I really didn't mean to! Oh my god...what if you got fired-" It must have been the after-effects of her hangover that made her an emotional mess as she felt tears running down her face, berating herself for acting in such a distasteful manner - in public and in front of his colleagues, at that.

Tsukishima deeply sighed to regain his composure. He settled down next to his lover on the couch, his hand rubbing across her back as he tried to calm her down. "Don't be ridiculous. I won't get fired over something like that, the boss isn't that shallow. He even called me up as soon as we got home to ask how you were doing."

At his gesture, Y/N bawled even harder, the tears streaming endlessly down her face. "I'm really sorry for ruining your night. I promise that I won't do it again."

"Y/N," Tsukishima began and tipped up her chin, locking his golden eyes with her puffy ones. "Look, I'm even more upset that you weren't being careful. I won't stop you from drinking, but you've got to be more aware of your own limitations. What if I wasn't there with you? What if you were alone and there was no one you trusted to take care of you?"

He's right, I'm such an idiot. I sure as hell won't be drinking anytime soon especially after last night's debacle!

She only managed a nod, sniffing profusely as she fished out her handkerchief to wipe her tear-stained face. "I'm so sorry, Kei. I swear that I'll be careful next time."

"You better be, you drunkard," he playfully retorted, the corners of his mouth subtly twitching upwards at how undeniably adorable she was being.

"So...you're not mad anymore?" Y/N inquired softly, looking up at Tsukishima with pleading eyes. While his earlier rage was now long gone, he did go through quite an ordeal, and he wasn't keen on letting her off the hook that easy as he wickedly grinned at her.

Oh, shit. I don't like that look.

"Sorry Y/N, but you're not getting off that easy. You did humiliate the both of us after all," he stated deviously, his smile widening at the uneasy expression on her face. "So for the next two weeks, you'll be doing all the household chores, and you're on bathroom cleaning duty for the entire month."

She sighed and nodded defeatedly. It was definitely a pain, but Y/N was resolute on serving her punishment to atone for what she did. However, she couldn't help but feel relieved since she had expected something way worse; doing all the household chores seemed quite tame in comparison to what she had imagined.

But then again, this was Tsukishima, and as he sensed her apparent relief, he laid out the pinnacle of her punishment, unable to fight off the sadistic grin on his face. "And, as soon as you're not hungover anymore, we'll be paying each of my colleagues a visit so you can sincerely apologize for what you did."

Y/N gawked at him, her heart dropping to her stomach. "C-come again?" He's not serious. He can't be...right? Right?!

"You heard me." Tsukishima was dead serious. She knew that something was amiss with his household chores punishment; he may be her boyfriend, but he definitely was a sadistic bastard if he needed to be.

"NOOO!" She wailed, completely mortified at the prospect as she began hitting him with the pillow, her hangover being the least of her concerns. "Please Kei, anything but that! I'd rather not meet them again for the rest of my living days, so please!"

Tsukishima chuckled and stilled her movements, staring her down to show just how serious he was. "Well, that just means that this punishment is befitting, right? At least now you'll think twice before letting yourself get wasted again. This will be a good learning experience for you."

Y/N knew that there was no other way to escape from her upcoming predicament. Completely at a loss, she only managed to shoot Tsukishima the harshest glare that she could muster. "Fine. If it will make you happy, you sadistic bastard."

Knowing that he had emerged victorious for this round, he let out a carefree laugh and planted an affectionate kiss atop her disheveled hair. "I appreciate it. Now, let's get that hangover treated real quick."

[babygirlkiki1016]

Masterlist

Chapter 4: Between Two Races

Chapter 5: The Ugly Truth

The moon was almost out as the sun slowly lowered itself behind the mountains. I sighed, might as well enjoy it, this might be the only time I'll ever get to see it like this. With no enemies chasing us, just me and myself, and the maids who were trying to get me to wear a dress.

"What about this one milady? It's certainly beautiful, any man would love to see you in this kind of dress." It was a long black gown, not as fluffy as the others they had shown me. It was slim, and just my size, I ran my hand over the cloth feeling the soft texture.

"I'll try this one." Trying on the dress was the best decision, it fits me in all the right places. It hung off my shoulders slightly, showing my family's crest. My eyes traveled to the v-line that showed my breast. Well, it complimented my figure, even though I don't like showing my body that much, it made me feel beautiful. "Thank you, you are dismissed." I bowed and left my chambers, I could hear them giggling as I walked away. I wonder what they were so excited about, maybe they're eager to see the dwarves?

"Y/n! It's wonderful for you to join us for dinner." Elrond greeted as he walked up the steps with Gandalf. "You look extravagant."

"Thank you, as do you." He wasn't the only one who thought so, cause every dwarf at the table stopped and stared. Their jaws dropping in surprise, and each of them blushed as I smiled. The moment I sat down at the dining table, Thorin couldn't keep his eyes off of me. His gaze traveled to my chest, I couldn't tell if he was looking at my markings or my breast. "Thorin, eyes up here." He snaps out of his trance, but he did not smile or grin, he scowled at me.

"Don't you think that's a little too much skin your showing?" He growled I didn't think it would be a problem, but now I was doubting myself.

"Even if it is, what does it matter?"

"It matters cause you look like a whore." He took a sip of his wine, Elrond could sense my discomfort. I looked down in shame, all I wanted was to feel pretty, and here I thought this man could change. No, I wouldn't let him get to me, he's just another dwarf his words shouldn't matter to me. I held my head high, making his eyes widen at my new profound courage.

"A whore would be wearing much fewer clothes than I, all that matters is that I feel beautiful the way I am. And if you don't like it, then you can shove it you ignorant pig." The other two people at our table let out a small chuckle, for the look on Thorin's face was unexpected. He was speechless now but turned his focus to Elrond who examined one of the swords that he had taken from the trolls’ cave.

"This is Orcrist, the Goblin-cleaver. A famous blade, forged by the High Elves of the West. My kin." He hands it back to Thorin with a small nod. "May it serve you well." Elrond grabs Gandalf's sword. "And this is Glamdring. The Foe-hammer, sword of the King of Gondolin. These swords were made for the Goblin wars of the First. I believe you will find it to be useful."

"What about this?" I hand him the blue stone I had found in the troll's hoard, he tilted his head to the side and put down Gandalf's weapon.

"It has your family's crest, I highly doubt you need me to tell you what it means."

"I know what the translation is, but why would it say to go back to the Kingdom of Larthas? There's nothing there but corpses and vines that have grown over time." He takes it from me and analyzes the markings, his brows furrowed as he racked his brain for what it could mean.

"I do not know, perhaps there is a secret there that remains hidden. Something only you can find out, you are the Queen after all. Only the royal blood can open the gates of Larithian."

"The gates of Larithian?" Thorin glanced between the two of us in confusion.

"The gates of Larithian is where our treasure remains, anything important goes in there. Yet it hasn't been open for so long." Were there more of my people out there? Maybe they made this gem, so one day when someone found it they would bring it to me. Why? What could be so important?

"How did you come by these?" Elrond still stared at the stone in his hand, I had a feeling he knew something about the stone. He just wasn't telling me what it was, he tried to look at it like he'd never seen it before but was failing.

"We found them in a troll hoard on the Great East Road, shortly before we were ambushed by orcs," Gandalf explained, which caught his attention.

"And what were you doing on the Great East road?"

~♪♠♪~

"Our business is no concern of Elves. It's already bad enough that she knows of our journey." Thorin glared at me, that fire in his eyes returning once more. I could feel a few looks of pity thrown my way, but I could care less. I was a Queen, no matter how much he hurts me I have to stay strong for my people.

"For goodness sake. Thorin, show him the map!" Gandalf ordered, his grip tightening on his staff.

"It is the legacy of my people. It’s mine to protect! As are its secrets."

"Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves. Your pride will be your downfall. You stand here in the presence of one of the few in Middle-earth who can read that map. Show it to Lord Elrond!" Thorin grimaced at the thought, but he knew that the old wizard was right. Though he looked at me with a hopeful look, I returned it with a glimpse of confusion.

"Can you read the map?" His request surprised me, he would rather have me, a digonisk read the map than an elf? "You do know everything about dwarves out there do you not?" Thorin takes out the map and hands it to me reluctantly. I open it, and read what I already knew, it was mostly about the quest. Elrond took this as a signal to leave, for he knew the dwarves wouldn't want him to listen in on their secrets. So now all that remained was me, Gandalf, Thorin, Bilbo, and Balin.

"What am I looking for?"

"It’s mainly academic. As you know, this sort of artifact sometimes contains hidden text." Gandalf explains, walking with me to the pedestal. "You still read ancient dwarvish, do you not?"

"Of course, it was one of the first languages that I learned during my lessons." I studied the symbols and spoke aloud. "‘Cirth ithil’."

"Moon runes, of course. An easy thing to miss."

"Moon runes can only be read by the light of the moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written. Luckily for you, I do not need the same moon as I can create my own." I lifted my hand over the map as the two dwarves watched, with my magic I created a crescent moon making the paper glow with blue letters. "‘Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole.’"

"Durin’s Day?" Bilbo asked curiously.

"It is the start of the dwarves' new year, when the last moon of Autumn and the first sun of Winter appear in the sky together. We still have time to make it to the mountain, as long as we move swiftly and take the fastest route. We have to be standing at exactly the right spot, at exactly the right time. Then, and only then, can the door be opened?" That's when everyone realized this journey was about to get a whole lot harder. Not only would we have to move fast, but that means barely any resting time for the rest of the company. After reading the map, I returned to my balcony, watching as the moon shined upon us. Lighting the town, making it glow with white light.

"You've been coming here a lot since you've arrived. Something on your mind?" Elrond joined me by the edge, his hands folded behind his back.

"Just wanting some peace."

"I do not believe that's the right answer." I looked up at him, he gave me a knowing look. Was I supposed to know what he was speaking of? "Thorin Oakenshield, Gandalf told me about how he's been treating you this entire trip. And I can see it in your eyes, it hurts you when he speaks ill of you." He was right, I didn't like it when Thorin was rude, it was as if he wants to break my heart.

"I just don't understand why it hurts so much." He places a hand on my head, caressing my hair gently to calm me.

"Perhaps it hurts because you are in love with him?" In love with him?! That can't be, I haven't thought of him that way at all. Though I did appreciate his time with me, and I liked it when he was around. His voice soothed me, those ruff vocals were music to my ears. "You know I never lie, your hurt because you love him, and when someone that you love is rude to you it pains you more."

"Even if that was true, he wouldn't love me back."

"That's not what I see, earlier when he commented on your dress I could see the jealousy flaring in his eyes." Could Thorin be jealous of what other men thought? Is that why he's always so rude to me? Because he wants me to be safe, or he doesn't want me to do a certain thing? "You should talk to him, tell him how you feel. If you don't it will only get worse for the both of you." I turned away slightly, looking towards the exit of the garden. Maybe telling Thorin wouldn't be so bad, let's hope he feels the same. I thanked Elrond for the advice and made my way around the castle. Eventually, I spotted Thorin with Dwalin speaking on the bridge over the waterfall. My heart was pounding as I made my way over to them, but before I turned the corner I heard something I hadn't expected. I hid behind the pillar, listening to them speaking about someone, uttering my name.

"You laid a hand to her?" Thorin growled.

"It was an accident Thorin, I was just angry-" Dwalin went to go apologize but Thorin interrupted him.

"She is the Queen of the Digonisks, the one who is going to slay Smaug. You will be nice to her, for she is the only one who can kill that beast." My heart fluttered, he was defending me, maybe he did love me.

"So that's it, you want us to be nice? What about the pain you've caused her?! And for what, so she'll do your dirty work?"

"If we hurt her more, she might turn her back on us. We need her to kill Smaug." So that's all he wanted, he just wanted me to kill that dragon. I was nothing but a pawn to him, he didn't love me after all. I was stupid to ever think such an ass like him could ever have feelings like that. Besides, he did say he'd rather be dead than ever be with me.

"And what about after that? What happens after she kills him?" Thorin sighed in disappointment, it seemed like he was upset about something.

"Then she can take her scrolls and leave." I let my guard down again, I shouldn't have listened to Elrond, he didn't lie but he was mistaken. A moment later I heard shuffling, Thorin was coming my way. Quickly I pretended to be just arriving, which startled 'The King Under The Mountain'. "Y/n." He bowed and smiled at me, but I knew it was just an act. "What brings you here?" My heart wrenched, I couldn't do it, I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to face rejection, nor humiliation.

"I was coming to tell you something." My eyes met Dwalins, and that's when he knew I had heard their conversation. "Though it's not important, not anymore." Quickly I rushed away to my chambers as Thorin called after me, and the moment the hard wooden door closed I slid down to the floor with a soft sob coming from my lips.

@fili-is-my-lover @kirenia15 @lunariasilver @depressedchilipepper @tschrist1

[daiseukiis]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 ┊ 01 ┊ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐭 ┊ 03

⠀⠀

⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀"DOES HE HAVE A DEATH WISH?" kiyara wonders, annoyed at the current predicament.

"won't gojo-sensei be fine? isn't he the strongest shaman?" itadori soon catches up to fushiguro and kiyara who had a head start, kugisaki running right behind the two of them. the two were still confused, what was wrong?

an exasperated sigh leaves the pale blonde's lips, "god, he's not even here but i can already feel that man's ego growing." rolling her eyes they all took a turn towards the school, breaths escaping their bodies in patterns to keep their heart running and going.

kiyara knew this feeling. usually her hitches and feelings towards a certain thing were never wrong so far, why would it suddenly be wrong now?

"that's not what we're worried about." fushiguro explains them, but their confusion increased more than it needed to be. he glanced at them and groaned, 'of course they wouldn't know.'

"it's the two strongest jujutsu sorcerers possibly wiping the school off the map." the blonde says.

there was a pause between all four, the two staring at her back with wide eyes and disbelief. "w-wait... are you implying mizuki-sensei is as strong as him?"

"she can definitely put him at bay."

⠀⠀⠀⠀"fuck." fushiguro breathes out.

there stood all four students witnessing that most of their school buildings wer wrapped in black like mistー shadows. at first their response was that they were under attack, but that thought was dismissed when their eyes fell to the two teachers on the ground in front of them.

one female had flowing chocolate hair, strands which touched the ground as she laid atop their sensei's waist. pure annoyance was written all over her facial as amethyst eyes focus on her target. the strength of her body tries oh so hard to make the dagger in her two hands break through gojo's infinity, but to no avail.

the shaman on his back on the ground had his signature smirk gracing his lips, he was mocking her. anyone could see that her efforts to break his jujutsushiki was entertaining him, and he knew for a fact barely any to none could beat him, and she was no exception even after multiple spars and fights.

it was either a draw or her utter defeat.

"tch, strong bastard." she groans, throwing the dagger away after struggling to stab the snow haired male. the dagger faded into black and disappeared under her shadow. standing up from the mounted position she prompted a hand on her hip.

"still feisty, yusa." gojo smirks at her, yet a tick mark pops above her head and standing up after mizuki.

"please, for the love of the gods leave me alone." she looks at gojo's blindfold, hoping in some unearthly means he would actually listen to her for once in his life. but the teasing she earned right after was not it. "awh~ but your reactions are too cute! it's hard not to."

a straight was thrusted right at gojo's face, one he was able to tilt his head far enough to dodge. attempting to hit her with his right fist towards the stomach, mizuki spun into a round house kick and caught his arm after it extended out whilst her foot was stopped an inch before it landed on his head.

"she's... cool." itadori and kugisaki couldn't help but stare in awe.

"she's second to best from gojo-sensei, but the strongest female jujutsu sorcerer." kiyara glances back to her two companions that were new to the school, smiling at them as they both showed their excitement. "and she's going to be our sensei?!"

"yeah, amazing right?" the smile she gave was bright, kiyara couldn't be any prouder to see others admire her aunt after all the hardships and struggles she's been through.

"i'm just glad that they didn't destroy half the school like last time." fushiguro comments as the two behind him freeze up upon hearing his words. kiyara gives a light chuckle, "we don't talk about it..."

mizuki let go of gojo's arm as she plants her foot back down to the ground, her black coat fell to her calves as it slightly taps her knee high combat boots. black pants and top designed in the same way as almost every other sorcerer, she sighs.

"the new ichinen?" mizuki looks their direction, one click of her heel and the black mist that engulfed the area started to retreat back into her shadow. gojo gave a grin, his hand out gesturing for her to approach the four.

'the shadows disappeared!' itadori and kugisaki's mouths fell as they got starstruck by the simple gesture which unraveled everything.

"yusa, meet kugisaki nobara and itadori yuji." the said two straigthen up when the tall shaman inspected the two, "ryoumen sukuna's host, huh? reminds me of someone."

"right? i thought so too! too bad she's overseas right now." gojo slings his arm around mizuki's  shoulder as his chin rests on her collarbone behind her figure, grinning from ear to ear as a thumbs up was shown to the students. she grimaces at his actions, mizuki slaps his hand as a way to tell him to get his heavyass off her.

"who?" they chorus.

"you guys also don't know?!" itadori and kugisaki point at kiyara and fushiguro who flinch at tne sudden upbringing, yelling back at their classmates and pointing at their teachers in resort. "how would we? they never tell us anything!"

"right," mizuki breaks up their yelling fest, right hand planting on gojo's face and pushs it away from hers. the male lets out a string of complaints, which she continues to ignore and successfully pushes his body off hers. her hand lands on her hip and shifts her body to one leg causing her to accentuate her curves.

"where's my daughter?" she demands.

"mimi-chan's right here!" kugisaki takes a step to the side and gestures to the girl behind her. or so, was supposed to be there. their eyes look at the empty space that she introduced, gojo and mizuki furrow their brows as a question mark appears above their heads.

'we left her at kuidaore!' thunder struck behind the three of them, jaws dropping to the ground the moment they realize she was not even on sight. their skin went pale and blood turned cold, the gloomy aura ungulfs the teens as different worse case scenarios play in their mind.

"ah, there you are my little flower." gojo stands in front nomari who stood a few meters away from the group, his hands wrapping around her waist and bringing her up into his arms.

'how did she get there?!' itadori exclaims in his mind, shocked to see the child in perfect condition at her spot. kugisaki let out a small sigh of relief, hand over her chest and quickly smiled so mizuki wouldn't see that it was a mistake, 'yikes... that was close.'

'wait, so she walked here by herself..?' fushiguro ponders making kiyara groan and facepalm softly, 'we're such idiots.'

"hands off her sato. geez, you'll make her stupid." mizuki walks over to the two, her arms out to take her daughter back but gojo only pouts and swerves her, "heey, that's so mean yusa!"

itadori watches with his classmates on how the trio interacts, mizuki being continously annoyed by gojo as nomari kept the expression of her wondering exactly why she was stuck in their quarrel. yet something didn't add up to him, "mizuki-sensei actually looks really young... how old is she?"

in the next second the pinkett was powerfully punched in the face, kicked and screamed at by kugisaki that held a fist at itadori who laid on the ground with a bump on his head. "you idiot! how inconsiderate! you don't ask a lady her age! this is why you don't have a girlfriend!"

"i'm just curious!" he defends.

"it's still rude y'know!?" kugisaki screams.

'good thing i never asked...' fushiguro continues to keep quiet, watching the fuss go one beside kiyara who was just tired at this point. other than the fact she returned overseas from a mission, bombarded with new people and hadn't taken a nap just yet to replenish her dying sleeping schedule. listen, she just wants her bed and food at this point.

"do you know, kiyara?" itadori asks her, popping the girl out of her small break down. kugisaki in the background continued to yell at him for prolonging the situation and asking other alternatives which she thought was still rude concerning that it was about private information about a woman.

"sorry, but i don't. i just thought it wasn't my business." kiyara scratches the nape of her neck, a hand out in apology to the boy. 'well, it was more to the fact that she always looked like she never wanted to talk about it...'

"almost sixteen."

"what?"

"yusa was almost sixteen when she had mari." gojo answers their questions, all eyes turning to focus on their white haired teacher that stuffs his hands into his pockets.

it took a while for them to register what he said, staring at gojo's figure to make sure if he said ant words about joking they would only get mad at him, but it never came. their lashes blink thrice, processing his words as the shock from it barely passed over them.

"that's really... young." kugisaki still couldn't recover from the disbelief, but fushiguro was the first to question gojo on his words. "what do you mean almost?"

"is that because they're both december babies?" kiyara adds on, taking a step forward filled with curiosity. she knew close to nothing about her aunt when it came to her younger days, she never said anything about it which led her to believe that it was a topic one she should never ask about. but now, maybe, just maybe, gojo had the answers to her questions.

"her early high school years is what you could say were the darkest points of her life," he starts, but his attention was nowhere near his students. his gaze fell to where mizuki and nomari were, watching the child hand her mother sweets she bought at the cafe and the smile that would light up the world as she embraced her loving girl.

"did you know the woman right there was known as the disgrace of the mizuki clan? until one day she showed up being as a special grade sorcerer and crashed the main estate, it was really a sight."

"gojo-san, you're sounding like a simp." kiyara snorts.

"i'm not a simp. but you might want to check with yourself if you're not one for, you know." quickly snapping back at her, he smirks and gestures his head with a little nod to the boy that stood beside kiyara.

his words made her cheeks flush, knowing full well he cracked a code he should have not to begin with. "go away!" her arms flung to push the older man from her group, but the blush that tinted her face remained pigmented and prominent. it only got worst when he chuckled, ears being coated by the same pink.

"no can do! i'm your awesome sensei, remember?" gojo gloats as his hands stop kiyara's effortless advances to push him out of the group circle.

the three students stand there lost in the conversation, 'they seem close...'

"can you stop picking on my niece, sato?" mizuki puts a hand on the sensei's shoulder, he grins and stops his movements as kiyara mirrors him, letting out a small huff. nomari shifts over to gojo who notices it and picks her up into his arms once more.

"anyways, get ready for tomorrow." mizuki hands nomari the bag of sweets she had, the child taking out and showing daifuku to gojo. he grins widely and lets her feed him the dessert as the others blink at the interaction but decide to ignore it.

"do we have a mission?" fusiguro asks. mizuki sighs, crossing her arms over her chest and stares at all four students.

"a high grade one."

tags ; @to-move-on-means-to-grow @dearsukuna @sukun4s

notes ; these are probs gonna be all qued bc im lazy

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

DO NOT REPOST 、 MODIFY 、 CLAIM WORK OR LAYOUT AS YOURS.

© MGUQIIS 、 2020

[alastanor]

To start, I would like to thank @cis-het-angel-kinnie for bringing this video to my attention, even if it was to praise the video rather than to point out it's flawed arguments against Charlie for main character.

If you have not seen the video yet, I recommend giving it a watch prior to reading this or you may be confused.

Click to read more...

What Is A Protagonist?

I am not bringing up this question because I think the source used was incorrect. However, the statement that "protagonists ask questions and antagonists make arguments" is an oversimplification of both roles. And I am going to explain why.

The trope of protagonist vs antagonist is an age old theme which has been used countless times throughout storytelling's history in books, plays, films, and story-driven video games. As such, the definition of both roles has continued to flourish and evolve over time. It is no longer good vs evil.

While @diregentleman used books written by, I assume, published writers for his argument, I am going to use Creative Writing and Literary Experts from a Masterclass article.

In the article, a protagonist is described as this:

"In storytelling, a protagonist is the main character or principal character or group of characters in a story."

More than one character is capable of being an antagonist in this story. Given that demons are meant to be redeemed, fitting the theme of the story, it is fair to surmise that all (or the majority of) the demons surrounding Charlie are protagonists in some form.

The article goes on to state that the protagonist's goals reflect the overall story goals and the plot moves forward based on their decisions.

This being said, Charlie's overall goal reflects the premise of the story, that being that Hazbin Hotel is a story about redemption. This is a goal that Angel Dust does not have.

In DireGentleman's video, he claims Angel Dust joined the Happy Hotel with the intention of being redeemed, albeit skeptical whether it could actually be done. This is actually inaccurate, and we see this in both the pilot and the comic.

Angel does display skepticism straight from the gate, but when they explain their reason for approaching him (that no one else has agreed), he makes this face:

Does that really look like someone who believes redemption may be possible? But for further establishment of just how little Angel believes redemption is possible, Angel also laughs them off and calls their goal "lame."

The only reason Angel agrees to Charlie and Vaggie's proposition is because it is a rent free place to stay. He admits as much just a bit further into the comic. By the end, Angel says "Redemption, it's silly. Huh, Nuggs."

The tone we are led to believe he uses is one of contemplation and relief. Relief due likely to the fact that there is some light at the end of the tunnel to the shit situation he was in.

This is just comic evidence, of course. If we go to the pilot, when Angel is engaging in the turf war with Cherri Bomb, he explains that he is using Charlie and Vaggie for free rent. Further exemplified when he later asks if participating in the turf war meant he didn't have a free room anymore. But also in his conversation with Cherri, he also admits that he is still taking some drugs behind Charlie and Vaggie's back. Something that we see immediately toward the opening of the pilot when Angel buys a bag of Angel Dust.

Character Dynamic

I cannot emphasize this enough, the Hunicast is NOT a good exemplifier for character dynamics. Every single "character interaction" is based on fanon, not canon, and they are prompted by the fans themselves. Only Viv really knows exactly how Angel and Alastor would canonically interact. It is no better a source for character dynamic than the wiki is for accurate information. IE, some things may hold true, but the majority of it is not and it is better just to wait until it is confirmed canon.

Moving on...

There is a lot of focus on Valentino as a main antagonist, based entirely too much on the hope that Angel will be the main protagonist. And this is really just disingenuous when you consider there are two other implied Overlords, as well as several other sources of strife within the world of Hazbin Hotel.

An Antagonist is someone working against the protagonist to prevent them from achieving their goal. Alastor would not meet this criteria, as he is a self-professed observer and conflict creator. But he is not a main antagonist. Someone working against the goal of redemption could be anyone from the Overlords (which, far as we know, would include Valentino), Lucifer, or even Heaven itself.

Where antagonists come into play, quoting Masterlist once again, I think these two types of antagonists were overlooked:

A conflict-creator. An antagonist doesn’t have to be a “bad guy.” Sometimes, they’re just a character whose goals are in direct conflict with the protagonist’s, like Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice or Javert working to arrest Valjean in Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables.

The protagonist themselves. The main source of conflict in a story can be from within the protagonist themselves—their shortcomings or insecurities are keeping them from reaching their goal. A prime example of this is Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. While Holden comes into conflict with many characters in the novel, the ever-present antagonizing conflict comes from his own obsessions and insecurities.

Now, why did I bring up these two types? Well! I'm glad you asked! You see, where conflict-creator comes into play would line up more with Alastor. He isn't really the bad guy, but he does create some friction where his goals meet with Charlie's. He is a professed observer, but it is strongly believed that there is something else, another goal, that he has omitted.

As for the Protagonist themselves, this lines up pretty strongly where Charlie is concerned. You could argue that it does for Angel too, but Angel's goal, as mentioned before, is not Redemption. That goal is Charlie's, and hers alone. Yet it is her naivety, inexperience, and insecurities surrounding her failures as a princess that are holding her back from achieving her goal. Going by this, not only do we have multiple protagonists, but we also have multiple antagonists.

"So far, no one else's past is wrought with tension like Angel Dust's."

Even if this wasn't a sweeping, dismissive statement made with limited information, it would still be incorrect. Why? Because each and every character in Hazbin Hotel is going to have their own story to tell. Stories that will each be as relatable and wrought with tension, the only reason we know Angel so extensively is because Viv put the most work into him. She has admitted that Alastor and Angel were characters she wrote based on past dealings and experiences she had. Let those implications sink in a bit.

Now, to further this, people don't need to empathize with a character to like them. They can sympathize as well, even if they personally cannot relate to the emotions the character is feeling.

And where Angel is concerned, he is not addicted to drugs. Angel has used drugs to escape the pain of his trauma. His response in the pilot to having his drugs stolen from him is not one of a typical addict. Which leads us to believe the drugs are simply a coping mechanism more than they are an addiction.

Real Audience for Hazbin is 12 to 16

I would really fucking hope you are joking. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this was said by someone who isn't a parent. While yes, kids will be sneaky and watch or play things they're not supposed to, a show with drug use/abuse, rape, sex, physical/mental/emotional abuse, and suicide is as much for them as Rick and Morty.

Further, it is not just these themes that make the show for adults. It is the format of the storytelling. Yes, you can complain about what you consider issues with the pilot. But at the end of the day, it did it's job. It established the story premise, introduced important characters (Fat Nuggets does not fall in that category, calm down), gave a basic understanding of their relationships to each other, and get the audience interested in continuing the series. Considering the views for the pilot and the resulting disproportionate growth of the fandom, I would say it did that in spades.

Hazbin Hotel is not Steven Universe. I cannot say this enough times, and the reason I cannot is because I cannot tell you how many times I have come into contact with the underage side of the fandom griping about lack of lore, griping about lack of production information, and overall being exceedingly impatient. At the risk of sounding like an old miser, the underage side of the fandom has never had to wait for additions to a series. Like waiting for Homestuck updates, or the new release of a Harry Potter novel. They have had a steady schedule of content, along with shows that give exposition dumps "in the first 3 minutes."

So don't look at Hazbin Hotel through the lens of kids' show fandoms. It has so much more to offer than that.

Alastor vs Valentino

No, this is not about whether Alastor could beat up Valentino. In the video, DireGentleman pulled a huge pet peeve of mine and lumped Valentino and Alastor together, labeling them both "monsters." Which is opening a huge can of worms for me. So, I will give a brief summary of why that is wrong, and provide a link to one of my other posts for deeper diving.

So, there is a reason why Valentino is more hated than Alastor is. Lumping them together is a mistake.

Valentino is a pimp that abuses and manipulates his victims through intimidation and (implied through) some kind of addiction to the red smoke (whether that is real or symbolism is yet unknown). He takes who and what he wants, be damned the consequences or who gets hurt. He is incredibly self-serving, with no consideration for anyone else. He uses people like pawns, and when those pawns refuse to do what he wants, what does he do? He forces them to do it anyway.

By comparison, while Alastor may use his people like pawns, he also has more consideration for them and doesn't abuse them (far as we can tell). The evidence to support this is the attitude of those serving under Valentino vs those under Alastor. Niffty and Husk both seem to not have a problem with Alastor, and where Husk is concerned it seems that his attitude toward Alastor is their typical banter. But definitely nothing that displays abuse. In fact, when Husker is hesitant or even refusing to do as Alastor asks, Alastor doesn't force Husker. He offers payment in the form of something Husker genuinely likes.

Now, while some might argue this is also manipulating through addiction, one could look at it this way. However, Alastor didn't make Husker an alcoholic. That was Husker's vice to begin with, Alastor simply has no intention of fixing it. After all, Alastor has said he doesn't think anything can change a sinner.

For further explanation and delving into Alastor, click here.

Parents don't 'get' Charlie = Disney Princess

Once again, we fall upon the slippery slope of disinformed statements. While the joke was made that the princess of hell expresses herself best through song, parent issues do not equate to being something that is relatable primarily or only to kids and teens. It's kind of offensive that there is a sort or implication in this statement that adults don't have issues like insecurities surrounding their own failures, or parent issues like what Charlie has or worse. And once again, we fall into the empathize vs sympathize realm and I once again will say that the audience does not need to empathize with the protagonist to make them a good protagonist.

Charlie is a failed princess, her people don't respect her and didn't even prior to her hotel announcement. Yes, she is sheltered and naive. Likely due to how little she was able or allowed to interact with sinners. After all, her ex-boyfriend was from another hellborn family. One that, from what we can surmise, interacts rather frequently with the Magne family.

And it is because of this naivety and inexperience that her method to redeem sinners will not work.

In the video, DireGentleman states that we can pretty much assume that Charlie's redemption methods will work. But her methods, as we see in her song, is to inject demons with meds and take away/burn their vices. She is seeking immediate resolutions to problems that require therapy and a long process that should be making sinners want to change. All Charlie is currently accomplishing is earning the ire and scrutiny of her people. This is why I previously mentioned that Charlie is both protagonist and antagonist, as she is getting in her own way to accomplishing the goal of redemption. And this is where we find that Charlie meets the "starts out being wrong" requirement mentioned in the video as well as "admiring a character for trying."

Charlie is also in a perfect position to be the tour guide for us, the audience, as we observe the metamorphosis of every demon who needs to be redeemed. She is, once again, surrounded by those who need to be redeemed which means we will witness every character arc. This includes Angel, who does not need to be the central focus for us to witness his story.

Finally...

It was stated, or at least implied, that Hazbin Hotel's pilot is no longer relevant. This is a statement that pretty much leaves me puzzled. The only way it would be irrelevant is if Hazbin went in a completely different direction, and we have no reason to believe it will. Vivziepop is still creative director for Hazbin Hotel, and A24 is notorious for giving creators their creative freedom. What A24 is doing is animating, making VA regulations, and ensuring there is an air tight lid kept on the project. Especially given it's popularity in such a short amount of time.

Contrary to what DireGentleman said, Hazbin Hotel will definitely live up to it's hype. Being picked up by A24 will not compromise the show simply because it's not in the same realm of indie production that Helluva Boss is. And it's a bit unfair to Vivziepop to imply as much.

In Conclusion...

Please do a bit more digging in regards to not only the show, but everything surrounding it. Don't lump fanon and canon together and expect them to be equal sources, and please do not claim an obviously adult-audience show is more fit for children and teens.

And lastly, please do more digging to better understand media and storytelling. Reading books is great, but what you were using as the foundation for your arguments were far too simplified and vague,, given the complexity of the protagonist and antagonist roles. Overall, the video just came across as one huge helping of Angel Dust bias with a side of strong dislike for Charlie.

[tu-mint]

“The Lemonade” Guy Pt. 1

When Jade realizes her feelings for a certain schoolmate go beyond a friendship, she makes a tremendous effort to rid herself of it.

Song Inspo(s): Wicked Games - Kiana Lede; I Won’t Say I’m In Love - Hercules

International AU!

Word Count: 4k+

~

There was rarely ever something Jade tried to avoid other than the topic of Manu. The reactions that came upon his death were much too triggering to her anger, and she refused to allow that level of rage to overcome her again; thankfully this was not the case. Now while that was a relief, the actual issue being avoided proved to be almost as troubling, and the foreign girl did not realize the matter until recently.

UA High was bustling with noise and movement, people curious about the UA students from different parts of the world. Jade was blessed to have been shown secret entrances and passageways by Ren as to avoid news reporters. While it wasn’t anything she wasn’t unfamiliar with, the second year student knew uncomfortable and personal questions would turn up if given the chance, so she decided staying in the shadows would be safe for now. Stepping onto school grounds, Jade found Maeda, Kubo and Ren chatting with two students she could not recognize. One was a girl with long cyan hair and a bright expression, and the other a boy with his head turned away from the trio. Hm...maybe they're new kids? It was difficult to tell whether or not they were around the same age as her, but Jade concluded they were older looking at their height. The girl craned her neck to look over her shoulder then gasped loudly.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshisthisher?!" She sped towards the international student and stretched a hand outward, grinning widely. "Nejire Hado, third year here at the original UA! You must be Jade, I was just asking your friends about you, and I heard you were from Los Angeles! Tell me what it's like! Is the food really good? What about the school? Is it different from the UA here? Ooh, what about your father? Is it true about him being a Pro Hero? What's his quirk? Is it like yours? Wha--"

"Easy Hado, she just got here," Ren intervened with a light chuckle. "Well, she already introduced herself, so that leaves the guy hiding behind her, Tamaki Amajiki, also a third year student. He's a bit shy as you can see." Jade leaned on her side to find the indigo haired male from earlier, head hung low and arms crossed tightly. She gave a small smile when he peeked up from the locks curtaining his face, pleased when he gave a single nod.

"It's nice to meet you both," chirped the foreign girl with a bow to which Hado squealed.

"And she's respectful! Ah, such an intriguing new person to meet--oh! I have to introduce you to Mirio, you'll love him, most girls do. Now where is he--" She scampered away with Tamaki in tow, slipping into the sea of students and staff members. Jade watched on with a scowl on her face. Most girls do? What is she trynna say, that I'm gonna be part of some bandwagon? She felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her out of her thoughts.

"She didn't mean it like that," came Ren's voice again. "Hado has a very blunt and unconventional way of speech, don’t mind her."

"It's something she can work on considering she wants to pursue becoming a Pro Hero," Maeda interjected, her tone flat but firm. Jade hummed in agreement and looked amongst the other pupils. Upon seeing the many faces, her eyes became fixed on one that stood out.

In a large crowd of females stood a tall and bulky male, his smile gleaming and proud. He appeared to be speaking to them, a round of giggles following soon after whatever he’d said. There were a few international students Jade recognized taking pictures with him and handing him slips of paper, presumably with some kind of social contact on it. That must be who the girl was talking about seeing he has an entire--wait a minute! It wasn’t until he looked up that she realized why the male seemed familiar. That’s the guy who I ran into at the entrance! The one who gave me that stupid nickna--

“Gemstone!” 

Jade cursed inwardly as he advanced in her direction. She glanced at the entourage behind him, their faces surprised or annoyed, and it didn’t help that some of them were now moving closer too. Her feet were glued in place as the male stood before her, a cheeky grin evident on his face. Blonde hair, blue eyes, nice body...definitely the same guy from the first day.

”Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten my name already,” he chuckled, crossing his arms. Jade noted how the gesture made his already defined muscles tighten. An odd tension arose in her abdomen, but she quickly dismissed it and cleared her throat.

”Togata if I remember correctly.” The foreign girl bowed, remembering her manners. It was best to keep a respectful image considering the person before her was not only older, but one of the most skilled students attending the original UA. “It's good to s—“

”Togata, I need some help getting to my classes," a voice suddenly cut in. It came as a realization to Jade that a majority of the girls from earlier were now surrounding them. The person who had spoken was an international student herself, but she didn't look too pleased that all the attention was on someone else. Her hand crawled up Togata's arm in a suggestive manner before resting at his shoulder. "I'm not too familiar with UA Japan's complex," she continued, "so it would help a lot."

"Ooh wait, I think I need help too!" someone else from the crowd piped.

"I do as well!"

"Me too!"

Soon numerous hands were tugging at the tall male with pleads and demands of showing them around the school. Jade watched as Togata weakly smiled and tried to talk amongst the bunch with reason; it proved useless as they continued to grab at him from every direction. An unusual feeling rushed to her torso again, but something felt much different from earlier. In place was a strong stinging sensation, not enough to hurt but enough to generate irritation. What in the hell--

"Something wrong, Lofota?" Maeda's voice snapped Jade back into reality. Ren and Kubo were before her, curiosity etched on their features. From her peripheral line of vision she could see the bulky third year being dragged away with a familiar cyan and indigo haired duo following close behind.

"We saw Togata and his groupies approach you, but you looked as if you were ready to jump at one of them," Kubo remarked. "I personally don't mind, just give me a heads up next time so I can record it for memories." Maeda rolled her eyes at this.

Jade chuckled and shook her head. "It wasn't anything like that, guys, I think my mind was just occupied with something else. Let's try and get to class before news reporters start breaking through the gates." She walked alongside the trio and listened to them explain UA Japan's school system and the events that were set throughout the year. Despite her nonchalant attitude, the sting remained in Jade's stomach; she figured it would go away after some medication and rest.

~

It took a little over a month for the second year to realize that the peculiar feelings in her system were not an overnight situation. Jade took matters into her own hands and recorded when her stomach fell into any eccentric sensation, noting what, when and how much she ate and any possible patterns. When food appeared to be free of guilt, she tried looking at her sleep patterns and clothing for clues but was met with the same result. Her concern had caught Ren's attention when the medic pupil found her seated on a hospital bed speaking to Recovery Girl.

"Hon, I've ran multiple scans and checkups and found nothing," sighed the elder. "Your health is in great shape and according to your own data, it seems like you're doing just fine. Maybe try laying down, it seems this issue with your tummy is stressing you out." Jade complied wordlessly, but Ren could see that she was still in heavy thought. When Recovery Girl exited the office, she took a seat beside the bed and peered up. "Thinkin' real hard over there, aren't you?"

Jade turned on her side with a groan. "I just wanna figure out what the hell is wrong with me, it's starting to piss me off."

"What've you been doing?"

"School, hero training, eating, sleeping, the usual."

"Any foods you can think of that caused that pain?"

"No, but that's the weird part!" The foreign student sat up and pulled a leg to her chest. "This feeling I keep getting, it doesn't hurt. It just--it doesn't...I never had this before, but I'm not sure if that means I'm doing something wrong that's causing my body to react the way it does."

Ren arched her brows in search of an answer. "Can you maybe describe this 'feeling' by comparing it to something? Or perhaps using a metaphor? Just so I can understand this better."

"It...well, there's usually two kinds of reactions. At one point, my abdomen feels light but constricted, like it can't take anything in because everything is squeezed out. When that happens, I also feel my heart rate pick up, and my body feels overheated." The medic nodded and gestured to continue. "The second feeling is more like a stinging one, or like a burn--yeah, burning would be a more accurate comparison. When my stomach gets like that, I get really annoyed, but there's only so much I can do when the problem is internal. I tend to get more of the first reaction than I do the second, if that helps."

It was an interesting explanation given, and Ren understood why Recovery Girl struggled a bit providing help. She was quiet for a long time, but just as her friend was about to speak, she asked another question: "Does this ever happen around a specific time? Specific person? Maybe a certain group of people or things?"

Jade blinked before lying down again, her attention focused on the ceiling. Is there somebody or something always near me when this happens? She reeled through all the faces and names she'd ever interacted with, staff members, students, strangers, but no exact nouns came to mind that she could recall triggering this reaction. The foreign student shook her head.

"Huh, well...what's the earliest you recall first feeling these sensations?"

"I think the earliest I felt it was when I was talking to Togata and--" Almost immediately the rest of Jade's sentence died on her tongue. Ren quickly caught the abrupt end and tried to make understanding of what had just happened. The memory was clear as day in her mind, meeting Hado and Amajiki, Togata walking up to her with immaculate bulging muscles, the crowd of female students hauling him away and the indefinable feelings in her abdomen, it all began to click. However, looking over the details of that time, Jade realized that the sensations ultimately activated when she was around--

"Togata."

She whipped her head in surprise.

"Togata is the cause behind your odd abdominal feelings," Ren smiled, "which tells me this is definitely not a medical issue." She bit back a laugh at the disbelief on Jade's face. It seemed she understood what was being implied as she began shaking her head feverently.

"No no no and no, you better not say what I think you're about to say, Ishikawa."

"Aw, c'mon now Jade, you can't be upset at me! I was just trying to help you understand the cause of your stomach issues, looks like it was just butterflies the whole time."

The foreign student grimaced. "Ren, please don't."

"But it's actually cute! I personally think that you both--"

"REN I GET IT, STOP."

Jade sat in irritation until her friend ceased laughing, then hopped off the bed and brushed off her uniform. The medic pupil stood up immediately and pulled her into a hug, chuckling lightly. "Well, now that we found the root of the issue, what are you gonna do? Am I helping you plan a confession?"

"I'm gonna get rid of it.” Ren's snickering stopped. Jade's face and tone was enough to say she wasn't kidding.

"Heh, I uh...I don't think I heard you correctly?"

"Get rid of it. I'll just distance myself from Togata so that my mind can adjust it's thoughts towards him." She hurried after her friend down the hallway. Students buzzed around them, lively chatter and activity surrounding the pair.

"Wait a minute Jade, I'm not understanding how this is being helpful."

"Ren, the more time I am not near him or able to visibly see him, I'm more than a hundred percent sure that whatever these annoying feelings are will dissipate. When that happens, I can go back to being in the guy's presence without any weird aura surrounding me, but until then, I'm following a strict 'No Togata' routine."

The medic student scoffed in amusement. "Routine? Jade, that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard a UA student say. I say just let it happen and see where it goes from there. Who knows, maybe he possibly could return--"

"Ah--" Jade stopped and held a hand up. "I'm gonna stop you there for two reasons. One, the sole reason anyone should attend this school is to pursue some kind of a career, and this applies especially to me. I was sent here as a representative because UA Los Angeles trusts me to execute and display my skills as a potential Pro Hero, not to go messin' around with Japan's kids, let alone the top students. I have an entire city depending on me, Ren, I can't mess this up." She sighed and took in another breath. "Two, if anything, I am far from his type."

"His type? How can you even know that if you only ever said hi to the guy like, three times?"

"Context clues. If it isn't directly in front of you, look at everything around to find your answer."

Ren deadpanned. "And what exactly did you look at to find your answer?"

"Upbeat, lively girls," Jade replied as if it should've been an obvious answer. The pair entered the cafeteria which was more cramped than usual. Staff members were present, most likely by Nezu's word to have travelling students feel more welcomed. All Might stood among the teachers with a countless number of admirers already circled around him, all different years, sizes and appearances. A certain green haired boy appeared to be of his utmost interest as he practically shouted in the student's face. Ren chuckled at the sight, but she noticed her friend's attention was focused elsewhere.

Her gaze was closed in on a table swallowed by a swarm of students. Some were people from earlier that were practically throwing themselves at Togata, and it seemed no different as he sat at the center of the table enjoying his lunch. Hado was seated across from him, her expression as bright as ever, and beside them was a shaking Amajiki, his head rested against the structure’s surface. His nervous movements ceased, however, and Ren smiled seeing the cyan haired girl had slipped her hand into his, returning to her conversation with ease. Jade also noticed the subtle gesture, but she wouldn't help feeling a pang of annoyance at the audience surrounding the blonde boy. She didn't realize she was watching so intensely until his eyes crossed the room to meet hers. Crap! Immediately Jade looked away, unsure if she was more embarrassed about getting caught or feeling irked over a guy. You're here to represent your school, show your worth of an upcoming Pro Hero. Stop getting distracted! Distance! "Ren, let's get some lunch. I'm sure Tokoyami and the others are awaiting your presence."

"Our presence." Jade smiled as they strode across the cafeteria. The medic always made sure she felt included no matter what the situation was; it eased her thoughts greatly, which was something she needed.

~

Another month passed and Jade had almost become like a second Maeda, so intently focused during school hours and hero training. Even on off days, the international student went about her own activities, only ever seen for meals or rest. Her bond remained close with Ren, Maeda and Kubo in various ways, however, and she was present whenever a hangout commenced, so it seemed like everything was completely fine. Ren's teasing had become more discreet (much to Jade's relief) and she created a codename for the blonde third year.

"'The lemonade'?" Jade cringed. The two met up for a walk through town one day, and it seemed safe enough to discuss the matter since they weren't near school grounds.

"I think it's pretty subtle, and keeping the word 'the' in the codename would have people assuming we're actually talking about a beverage. Plus," the medic eyed her friend, "the guy is a tall glass of lemonade if I do say so myself, heh."

"Ren don't--"

"Lemonade sounds good right about now." She froze. It took everything in the foreign girl to not begin speed walking as soon as she heard the familiar upbeat voice behind her. From the look on her friend's face, Jade's assumption of Togata's presence was true. Unfortunately true. She slowly turned around, a faux smile in place until her eyes fell upon something hiding behind the male.

It was a little girl, she could tell that much, with long snowy locks spilling from behind Togata's calf. The child peeked up from her spot, red irises meeting Jade's indigo ones. The foreign girl was locked in place as she suddenly recalled her family. She thought of her parents' cooking and singing, her brothers' livelihood for sports, but she was especially reminded of her sister. Youngest and the only other girl in the line of siblings, they did a lot together. From shopping together to painting to singing to sightseeing, Jade realized how much she'd missed them. The exchange of words between Ren and Togata were a muffed noise as she crouched down, entrapped by the little stranger.

"I'm Jade, it's nice to meet you." The words slipped out like butter, and thankfully it didn't seem to frighten or discomfort the child. She looked up to the male for approval, then stepped forward and let his hand go. 

"My name is Eri, it's nice to meet you too," she squeaked with a bow. Jade was awestruck by her politeness and shifted onto her knees to bow in return. When they both straightened up, Eri bore a wide smile and returned to Togata's side.

"Gosh, Gemstone, thought you were ignoring me for a sec." Reality hit the foreign girl immediately when she met the blonde's gaze, and her stomach felt tight again. Damn it, not now! Calm down, breathe, breathe, don't overreact. She stumbled getting back on her feet and managed a sheepish expression.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized more aggressively than she meant to. "I was just so surprised seeing you with a kid, and she just--"

"Oh? Do you think I'm not good with kids?" He raised a brow. 

Crap, why does he have to look cute doing that. "I never said that," Jade rolled her eyes. "I was just surprised seeing you outside of your whole entourage, that's all." She cursed at her choice of words. Now I just sound like I'm hating on him.

"My entourage? Sounds like someone's a bit jealous."

"Ha! Boy, ain't nothin' to be jealous of." The second year held her ground as the bulky male challenged her with a smirk. Ren cleared her throat, acknowledging her presence and causing Jade to force herself back. She didn't realize how close she'd gotten to him during their small banter, but it was definitely closer than what she was comfortable with. "Ren, uh, I believe you were talking about something, yes?"

The medic peered over in amusement. "Yeah, I was talking about lemonade, which since you're here Togata with little Eri, I believe we can all get some together." Damn you, Ren!

Eri gasped before tugging on the male's sleeve. "Can we please, Mirio?"  The sight made Jade's heart swell, and she couldn't be upset if it was an adorable child asking to accompany them. He beamed down at her and nodded his head.

"Ladies, you may lead the way." During the walk to a mini cafe Ren knew of (thanks to Tokoyami), Jade observed how attentive and caring Togata was with Eri, playing games or cracking jokes that made her laugh. Citizens passing commented on their closeness in adoration, many praising the third year for looking after the child with such passion. Even when there were those who tried to flirt with him, the boy paid them no mind and brushed off their efforts. Jade didn't know him too well, but she knew it would be difficult to want to be away from the guy, especially after seeing this side of him, away from the crowds, away from the hero limelight. Togata truly was someone to admire. A familiar tightness returned to her torso, but for now, she was okay with it.

She was pleased being able spend time with Eri herself, learning more about her likes and hobbies. A lot of what the young girl enjoyed Jade discovered was also liked by her sister. "What's her name?" the child asked, munching on a pastry. The horn atop her head glimmered in the sun while she finished up coloring a drawing.

"Her name is Carolei," the international student smiled, "but my family and I just call her Lei."

Eri dropped her coloring utensil on the table and leaned forward. "Can I call her Lei, too?" Jade looked around as though someone was listening to their conversation, then nodded with a wink, much to the child’s delight. They giggled and chatted, forgetting about time and enjoying getting to know one another. The second year felt as though she wasn't in Japan, but back in America with the people she'd cared about and loved; it felt good to bathe in the comfort and reminisce of home. Someone had gripped the back of Jade’s chair; she turned assuming it was Ren until she was face to face with a broad chest and the strong aroma of musk. Her heartbeat boomed in her head and she slowly turned back to Eri, allowing her nerves to calm. Ren bit back a laugh, but a tug on Jade’s hand distracted her from making a slick comment.

"Jade," said Eri in a small voice, "I have to leave now, but...do you think we can hang out another time?"

A sudden idea popped into the second year's mind at the young girl’s request. With a kind smile, she squeezed Eri's hand reassuringly. "We'll have plenty more days to hang out, hon, just me and you."

"Ouch, and what about me, Gemstone?" Togata whined, a hand on his chest in offense.

"Ah, I'd rather not be attacked by your fangirls. Besides, you have Amajiki and Hado to hang out with, and I know you see Eri almost every day." Both parties waved goodbye before continuing on their own paths. Ren and Jade were in a comfortable silence until the medic let out a sigh.

"You literally just missed your opportunity."

"Girl, what? If anything, I'd say I just opened the door for an opportunity."

"Opportunity for what? You literally shut the guy down."

"With good reason," the foreign student argued. She wasn't rude in her response to the older boy, and it was honest! The last thing Jade needed was rumors tainting her name simply for the fact that she hung out with one of the big three alone, especially if they were of the opposite sex. "Anyways, back to the opportunity I was talking about. I think Eri can help me out with this."

~

Happy New Years everyone! Thought I would just drop by with this little piece since I have been lagging quite a bit lol, anywho, just a little bit of love for our favorite blonde boy since I don’t see too much on him. Be safe everyone! Like, comment & share!

OC Creds to: @gureii (Ren, Maeda, Kubo

[incorrectunrulyprincesses]

Underland’s Unruly Princesses: March of the Witch Hunters (aka the crossover) chapter 3

Ember II

Early the next morning, I awoke to the sensation of a sun ray beating on my bare neck. Slowly I peeled myself from Rosalind's pillow, stretching. It took me a minute to realize that Rosalind was gone. There was a note on her side of the bed.

Ember,

Gone to interrogate Aunt Sarah and Aunt Mary, and get my birthday presents. Please be careful. I will send my Father out to look for Witch Hunters.

With Love,

Princess Rosalind of Underland

I smiled to myself. Ros was just like Mother in a lot of ways. In fact, when I had to think about it, I was hardly like Mother at all. Sure, we shared a few similar qualities, but nothing extravagant.

By the time I went to my own chambers, bathed, and put on a fresh gown, it was nearly midday. Once dressed I thought I would track down Aunt Winifred and try to spent some "quality time" with her.

As I made my way down the main corridor, as I neared the throne room, I could overhear Rosalind singing very loudly. She was singing a song that we often heard our other Aunt, Nellie Lovett, sing when she was busy making pies.

"These are probably the worst pies in London!" I heard Rosalind's mighty voice belt throughout the castle.

I stopped outside the throne room door to hear someone clap their hands.

"Well done, darling," cooed the voice of Aunt Sarah.

"Wonderful!" chimed the voice of Aunt Mary.

I listened for a few moments. There was no sign of Mother nor of Aunt Winifred. That was extremely odd. Mother had to either be signing death warrants or even out on a procession.

But where was Aunt Winifred?

Trying to keep myself collected, I made my way back to the second floor. If I was to do anything risky, now was the time, whilst Ros had the Aunts distracted. Being caught by them wouldn't be a good feat, especially if they knew what was going on, and I had no idea if they knew or not.

What surprised me the most about all this was not the fact that I had overheard some information I was sure I wasn't even supposed to know, it was the fact that when I walked past Mother's study, I heard a voice.

"Ember? Is that you?"

It was the voice of Mother.

I halted, swallowing.

"Oh, you silly girl, do not think I cannot recognize the footsteps of my own daughter. Get in here!" she called out.

So, Mother was in her study. She was neither out on procession nor signing papers.

Sighing, I whirled on my heel, and, without shame, whipped the doors to the study open.

Mother sat in her favorite padded desk chair, her skirt flailed all about her feet. Her feet poked out from under her skirt and I could see she had her ankles crossed. She was wearing her tiny heart-shaped reading spectacles. Head down, she looked be reading a scroll of some sort. She raised her gaze when I whipped the doors open and stepped in.

"Now, now, Ember," she said. "No need to be vicious. I simply need to speak to you." She gestured to an armchair across her desk from her. Obediently I plunked down in it, and locked my fingers together.

Whatever this was, it was about to be good.

She set the scroll down, and removed her spectacles.

"So, my dear," she began. "Where are you off to?"

Did I dare lie?

I then remembered what Ros had said about getting on Mum's bad side.

"I was trying to find Auntie Winifred," I told her.

Mum's brow arched up curiously. "What makes you think Winifred is here?"

I sighed. "Well, Auntie Mary and Auntie Sarah are here. They're spending time with Ros because the buffoons missed her birthday. I suppose I just assumed Aunt Winifred was around. You know that she's my favorite aunt."

I studied Mum's expression. It softened. "I can assure you, darling, that Winifred is not around." She gently ran a hand stressfully over her face, as if to wipe off tension. "In fact, that's why I called you when I heard you traipse by."

I straightened my posture in the chair. Like a lady, I crossed my legs and folded my hands in my lap. Hopefully she was about to answer all of my questions. I was careful not to allow my expression to show that I knew something.

Sighing again, much heavier this time, Mum also corrected her posture.

"As you know, your Aunt Winifred is a very powerful being," she said. "She was born from a very, very powerful bloodline of magic-doers. And with great power like she has, comes great responsibility. And, of course, there are those who believe that power so great shant exist."

I licked my lips to show her I was paying her every ounce of my attention.

"Anyway, late last night, Winifred came calling. When we congregated she informed me that a certain movement of Witch Hunters has arisen- both in Underland, and Above."

I tensed.

"Her and I both are very concerned for the well-being of our worlds. If these Witch Hunters succeed in destroying people such as your Aunts, I am certain they will begin to prey on our kind."

I shook my head. "Oh, Mum, what are we to do?"

She blinked a few times. "That, my dear, is something I'm not entirely sure of." She slowly opened one of her desk drawers. "Winifred has gone off to defend her and her sister's home Above." She stuck her hands down in the desk, and grasped onto something. "She wasn't sure how long she would indeed be gone. So," she hoisted something heavy from the drawer. "She left this, and asks that you guard it with your very Life."

Before I had time to react, she dropped a hunk of an object on her desk.

It was Aunt Winifred's beloved Book.

I couldn't remember the last time I had seen Book, but it had been a while. I gently grabbed it and slid it to myself. The eye on the cover was closed. From what I understood, it only opened for Aunt Winifred. Why would she leave it with me? Did this have to do with the comment she had made to Mum the night previous?

I gingerly ran my finger over the eye. I did not open.

Instead of telling me anything else, Mum waved me away, and dismissed me.

I immediately took Book to my chamber, and sent one of my maids off to fetch Rosalind.

When Rosalind came into my chamber, she was extremely surprised to see the book perched on my stand.

"What are you doing with Auntie Winnie's book?" She asked. She looked slightly irritated. Obviously she hadn't gotten what she wanted to know out of Aunt Mary and Aunt Sarah.

"Mum gave it to me- she says Aunt Winnie left it behind, and she wants me to guard it with my very life." I was busy running my fingers over the binding of the human skin on its cover. I was hoping it would tickle it enough for it to awaken.

"But why would she leave it behind? That book is like her child." She wondered aloud.

"I don't know, Sis, but I feel like I'm supposed to wake it up," I explained. "But nothing seems to be working." I even tried tickling it with the feather of a quill, to no ergo.

"Maybe it's not used to you." Ros suggested. "Like with Jabberwockies. They have to come to you, you can't come to them."

I pursed my lips. "Let me try this." I licked my lips heavily. "Ohhhhh, Book," I cooed. "My darling. It's time to wake up. Come along, darling." I pushed my voice as high as I could get it, and tried to sound as much like Winifred as I could. Ros giggled.

"You Sound like her." She smirked. "But it won't work. You can't tell that book what to do."

I had one more idea. I quickly went across the room and faced the book. "BoooOOOOoooKKkkkkk. Come to Mummy!"

No avail. Nothing. Nada.

It was no use. I would have to figure something else out.

"I suggest we harass my Daddy into hunting down these witch hunters so we can at least rid our world of them." Ros states after a few moments. She knew I enjoyed harassing her father the Knave.

I smiled. "Good idea." We then began walking toward the door side-by-side. I halted.

"What's wrong?" Ros asked.

I ran over, scooped up Book, and tucked him under my arm, giggling. "Nothing, lets go."

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [details of some party that they can go to because it's not someone he knows its more like a friend of a friend of so they can do what they want] Buster: I'll pick you up when you're ready Rio: Oh, I'm with Nancy rn Rio: think I might be in it for the long haul over here Buster: You've been there ages Rio: I know Rio: been a while, lots she wants to catch up on Rio: I can probably make it though, if I start politely getting ready to leave soon Buster: Where are you? Rio: at mine Rio: we went out shopping for a bit but now we're just chilling Buster: I'll tell her mum or dad are on the warpath, either's believable Buster: She'll be back before she realises they're working Rio: That's not very friendly, is it Buster: She's my sister, not my friend Rio: yeah but won't she wonder why you've tricked her Buster: She'll think I got it wrong, a common enough thought for her to have about me Buster: Who cares? Rio: I don't wanna be mean Buster: Don't then Buster: To me Buster: I haven't seen you all day Rio: Baby Rio: you know I wanna be with you Rio: let me get out of this my way though Buster: Alright Rio: I promise, it won't take that long Buster: You do know that unless you appear right now it's too long, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: you know I missed you as much Rio: more, I think Buster: So prove it by getting rid of her Rio: I will Rio: it would've looked so suspect if I didn't spend any time with her Buster: Or like you've outgrown her which everyone wanted us to do with each other, therefore they'd have to be thrilled Rio: If everyone weren't massively hypocritical Rio: or her social life was a bit more robust in general Buster: Her lack of a social life is her own problem, not yours, babe Rio: not if I ditch her at the drop of a hat Rio: but I've worked it out Buster: Tell her to ditch her fringe and you'll be doing her such a big favour it'll cancel out the abrupt goodbye Rio: Stop 🤫 Rio: I'd almost forgot how rude you can be 🙄😏 Rio: I'm gonna have a fake argument with Dan that I'll 'need' to go and sort out Buster: It sounds good in theory but she'll probably try and convince you not to 'cause he's a man Rio: She can text me the TLDR of the gay agenda Rio: it'll be fine, less of a 😱 when I dump him later too Buster: Surprised you ain't had a real argument by now Buster: He's even more of a pussy than I thought Rio: He knows I'm busy with family still Buster: And those papers don't deliver themselves Rio: You're SO funny, babe Buster: Yeah, I know Buster: One of many talents Rio: I might rank it lower than some of your others Rio: but I still like ya Buster: Don't force yourself, like Rio: Come on Rio: what have you been doing today anyway? Buster: As the twin with a social life in each of our postcodes, I've been busy fulfilling those obligations Rio: See, you've been keeping busy too Rio: not even missed me Buster: I can do both Buster: Multitasking is one of my aforementioned talents Rio: I can give you that one Buster: [a topless post football playing selfie like see busy and thinking about/missing you hence I took this for you] Buster: I'll give you this then Rio: 😍😍😍 Rio: I wanna come watch you play next time Buster: Yeah? Rio: you need to ask when you look like that? Rio: I could be there, right, at a proper match Buster: 'Course Buster: Probably don't tell the others though, it'd be hard to stop Billie and Edie from wanting to come with you Rio: True Rio: do your parents come? Rio: 'cos I'd rather not control my 😍😍😍 at all Buster: They'd have to not be working for there to be any danger of that Rio: I thought so Rio: I'll cheer you on Rio: bring the 🍊🍊 Buster: My dad watches me box more often, you wouldn't like that anyway Rio: not gonna encroach on your male bonding time, don't worry Buster: Hilarious Rio: I was being serious Buster: Me too, it's hilarious you reckon we have any kind of bond to encroach on Rio: you live together Rio: that's something, like Buster: Only 'cause they won't let me move out yet Rio: Well yeah Rio: you are only 14 Buster: And they were making such good choices when they were Rio: they didn't get to have their own place either Buster: They didn't need one, they were already living in the same house Rio: I doubt that argument will change their mind Buster: Whatever, I'm not trying to leave Ava with just Nance Buster: She'd make her well weird Rio: I don't think you can't make anyone anything Rio: least of all your sister Buster: You know what I mean Buster: And you don't have to jump to the other's defence, I ain't gonna send her this Rio: Whatever Rio: what are you gonna wear tonight then? Buster: Unlike you I haven't been shopping, maybe I'll go now while I'm waiting for you Rio: Just trying to work out the level of effort I need to put in Buster: What level of effort would you like to put in? Rio: I just don't want to look out of place Rio: why is that a problem? Buster: It's not a problem, why are you coming at me with an attitude? Rio: Sorry Rio: I think all this shit that's going on with Nance has got to me Buster: What's she said? Rio: Just all about those kids, what they say and do Rio: it's a shitty situation Buster: Stay with her if you want, I can take some of the lads with me Rio: If you'd rather Buster: I obviously wouldn't Buster: But if it'll make you feel better Rio: I don't know Rio: there's nothing I can do for her Buster: I'd say bring her but she'd never go Rio: I hardly blame her Buster: 'Course not, you never do Rio: Going to a party where she knows no one won't make her feel any better Buster: She doesn't wanna feel better, she'd rather wallow Buster: A party's as good a place as any for that Rio: You invite her then Rio: I'm not a middleman Buster: I don't actually want her there, unbelievable as that may sound, babe Rio: then we're agreed it's a bad idea Buster: I'll take us being in agreement about something as far as my fucking sister is concerned Rio: For God's sake Rio: let's drop this Buster: Don't for God's sake me Rio: This conversation is pointless Buster: That ain't stopped you keeping one going with Nance though Rio: Your sister has spent most of today telling me how hard she's struggling and how hard she gets bullied and you want me to just put that aside like it's nothing Buster: Would you like me to applaud you for having to hear a day's worth of it? Rio: Don't be a dick Buster: Don't tell me what it's like as if I don't go to the same school Rio: Don't make it about you Rio: it's happening to her Buster: Cheers for that, I had no idea Rio: Like I said, pointless Rio: have a good night with your friends Buster: I will Rio: 👍 Great Buster: It's no mansion but I'll make the best of it regardless Rio: Go away now Buster: Who do you think you're talking to? Buster: That hasn't worked on me a single time you've tried it Rio: You're just trying to annoy me now and I don't need it Buster: You wish Buster: She's annoying you and you don't wanna admit that to yourself or her Rio: No, you're being an asshole because you're mad Buster: I'll take all the blame, babe, what do I care? Buster: It's a well established role, I'm the asshole and she's the only one ever who suffers Rio: I haven't said that, no one's said that Buster: Chelsea's always been a picnic for me, like Buster: Not that anyone's ever asked Rio: I know that, why are you saying it like I don't Rio: and I can't do fuck all about that either Buster: 'Cause you're acting like you don't Rio: The ways you cope aren't the ways she does, or doesn't Rio: I just don't see the point of acting like that'll work Buster: Well, I don't see the point of you taking all her bullshit on as your own Buster: Or getting dragged down by it Rio: I can't just Rio: dismiss it that easily Rio: she's still here, like, can you just give me a moment Buster: Take loads of them Buster: I'll see you tomorrow Rio: Thanks so much Buster: You're so welcome Rio: Bye then Buster: Yeah Rio: if that's how you feel then just see me on easter Buster: If that's how you feel, then you might as well bring your boyfriend to celebrate with us all Rio: Fuck you Buster: No, fuck you Rio: I don't get why you're being like this Rio: explain it to me Buster: You don't get to hold Easter over me like an ultimatum when you know it won't be the same then Buster: We only get 7 days and you've already spent this one with her but I can't be upset about it 'cause she's more upset than me Buster: Fuck that Buster: And like I said, fuck you Rio: You're allowed but that ain't what you put out at all Rio: you're mad at her, I get it, but fuck taking that out on me Rio: she's my cousin, I have to see her when she comes over Rio: and nah, it isn't a fun time but you don't need to take my mood so personally Buster: Forget it Buster: You could just see her on Easter, but why would you when that threat works so much better on me Rio: It's not a threat Rio: if you reckon you're gonna have so much more fun with your friends then you may as well Buster: I reckon I'll have to try and have fun with them 'cause that's the only option you've given me Rio: I was actually coming 'til you told me not to Buster: I didn't tell you not to Rio: Yes you did Rio: you said see you tomorrow Buster: Don't put words in my mouth Buster: You already weren't coming by the time I said that Rio: Then why would I have left my house to go have an imaginary argument for you Buster: To have a real one with me, obviously Rio: Yeah, that's exactly how I wanted to spend my evening, you've got it Rio: never mind I can't friggin' go back five minutes later 'cos she's probably still there with Junior Buster: You and me both Buster: So don't go back yet Rio: Well where do you suggest I go Rio: seeing as you've uninvited me from the party 'cos I'm so shit Buster: Come on Rio: I'm not sorry I care about her Rio: and that isn't me saying you don't, or me saying I don't care about you either Rio: I clearly do Buster: I don't want you to be sorry Buster: I love that you care so much, you know that Rio: are you coming to pick me up then or what? Buster: I'm basically halfway to you already Buster: I wasn't gonna turn around, who am I? Buster: Not a cunt who gives up that easy, like Rio: Don't scare me like that Buster: I didn't mean to Buster: I'm sorry Rio: You wanted to make me feel how you did Rio: I get it Rio: I've missed you too today Buster: It just made me think about what it'll be like, I've been trying not to Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Rio: we'll have to work out how often we can Buster: I missed you so much Buster: I can't leave you Rio: but you have to Rio: there's no scenario where we can be together as much as we want Rio: even if we weren't having to hide it Buster: There has to be, there's always choices Buster: If you want something badly enough, you make it happen Buster: That's my life Rio: You can't leave school, I can't go to yours, I wouldn't get in Rio: and I can't just move myself to London with nowhere to live and no plan Buster: Then I'll move back here Buster: With Nan and Granddad Rio: Your parents won't want that Rio: even if they're barely about, they still want you around Buster: I don't give a shit what they want Rio: I know, but it means they've got enough say to stop you, at least for now Rio: in a few years, nah Rio: it's shit, I don't want that to be how it is any more than you do Rio: I wanna be with you always Buster: In a few years you could have a boyfriend that isn't a pussy with a paper round Rio: Do you actually think I'm going to get a new boyfriend? Buster: Not right now, obviously Rio: Not ever, if you still want me Rio: I've only got this one still because I don't want to waste our time together right now dealing with the logistics of formally dumping him Buster: Like you said, we can't be together as much as we want Rio: so that means, what, to you Rio: you need to keep this open Buster: It means you deserve better Rio: there isn't better Rio: you said that Rio: and I believe it Buster: Not than me, but than this bullshit scenario Buster: My mum and dad only got through uni 'cause they had us, everyone knows that Buster: They'd had years together by then Rio: Well, I believe in us Rio: I thought you did too Buster: I do Buster: I just can't fucking breathe when I think about going back Rio: it's the first time Rio: we'll get better at it Rio: we'll have to Buster: Yeah, I'll add it to the list of shit I have to do Buster: It'll be fine Rio: It won't Rio: it'll hurt like hell Rio: but we have to be okay with that Rio: if we want the good of it Buster: Don't Buster: You can't ask me to be okay with hurting you Rio: It hurt more Rio: being without you Rio: we'll have more than we did, no matter Buster: I know Rio: That's what love is, right Rio: no matter what Buster: If it ain't that, I don't know what else it would be Rio: I don't want anyone else Rio: even if it's painful Buster: Okay Buster: Me either, in case that wasn't painfully obvious Rio: You better not Rio: You're mine Rio: I can't share you Buster: I am yours Buster: I told you, nobody is gonna change my mind Buster: I probably should have said no obstacle though, 'cause distance won't either Rio: not even you Rio: you can't change your mind yet Rio: preferably ever but Rio: I won't say you can't there Buster: Especially not me, what the fuck do I know, I reckoned ignoring you for the rest of our lives would work Buster: I won't ever change my mind 'cause I can't Buster: That'd be a mistake and those aren't allowed Rio: I love you Rio: and I'll get better at listening Buster: I love you too, but I can't promise that I'll get better at staying calm Buster: You know my history Rio: I know you Rio: and I love you as you Rio: we'll make this work Rio: what else can we do, right Buster: She gets to me too, you know Buster: Or all of that bullshit at school does Rio: Of course it does Rio: no one wants to hear that about their family Rio: and not be able to stop it Rio: I know you care Buster: She doesn't understand Rio: She sees it like you're picking their side Rio: instead of trying to keep some of them vaguely on it in any way Buster: I'm not gonna take on the whole school for her Buster: It shouldn't have got that far Buster: She lets shit escalate and then expects me to fix it Rio: She's a good victim Rio: she rises it to it, you know Rio: if she could just laugh it off or let it go, it wouldn't be happening Buster: I don't know how the fuck she could have been raised the same way as me, with the parents we have, and become that Buster: Everything my mum went through, it's offensive Rio: She doesn't mean to be the way she is Rio: she needs to get to a place where she can help herself, or ask for help Buster: She doesn't try hard enough not to stand in her own way Buster: So she might as well mean it Rio: It's frustrating, I know Buster: Frustrating ain't the word Buster: But whatever Rio: You can't change her Rio: unfortunate or otherwise Rio: just how it is, babe Buster: At least she ain't Ro levels yet Rio: Is anyone Rio: now that's offensive Buster: Fair point Rio: swear she lowkey hates me Buster: She don't like anyone Rio: yeah but she liked my ma and me being born stole her attention Rio: gutted ever since, I'm so sorry Buster: Come on, be real, she liked your mum until Edie was born Rio: Too true Rio: 'course that had NOTHING to do with Drew 🙄 Buster: Maybe she only wants mixed race babies Buster: I'll ask her if she comes to Easter Rio: 😂 Rio: please do Rio: how did you stand to live with her for all those years Buster: They are cuter, like Buster: And I didn't have a choice Rio: You'll want to get with a darker girl than me then Rio: it's amazing your da didn't murder-suicide Buster: No, I won't Buster: Look no further for where I get my coping strategies from, bottle in hand literally as I type this Rio: That's just cultural, like Rio: and when your brother does what Joe did, who's checking Buster: Yeah Buster: At least you're not actually my sister Rio: again, don't think that's calming anyone Buster: When have I ever been a calming influence? Rio: I wish there was explaining it Rio: but nah Buster: Who do we owe an explanation to? Rio: I mean, if we could Rio: so we didn't have to hide it Buster: If we ever tell anyone I'm not explaining or grovelling, fuck that Buster: Only God can judge me and he don't exist, so Rio: Shh, my nan has spidey-sense for blasphemy Rio: I just wanna show everyone how much I love you Rio: I can at this party, yeah Buster: You can do whatever you want at this party, babe Rio: That like just what I need Buster: [a picture of a full crate/case of something expensive that he's bringing to this party] Buster: Nobody's gonna care what we do Rio: 🙌 Rio: you're the best Rio: I'm gonna need to get changed in the car Rio: 'cos not even me puts on a party dress to go have an argument, sadly Buster: Next time I won't tell you to fuck off for less than a tiara and ballgown, like Rio: I appreciate that Buster: I can wait, you know Buster: Without distracting you too much Rio: where Rio: I told you, I already left Buster: But you can go back, if you need to Rio: No I can't, 'cos I'm going to see Dan, remember Rio: not get ready to go out with you Rio: it doesn't matter Buster: You could be making yourself look beautiful for him Rio: Rude to suggest I'm not already Buster: I'm not suggesting that, just that I'm aware how arguments work Rio: That isn't the vibe Buster: You decide what the vibe is, and Nance doesn't need to know Rio: If you're saying I need to then just say it Buster: What? Rio: Put more effort in Rio: 'cos I'm clearly not bothered so Buster: I'm not saying that Buster: Why would I? Rio: I don't know Rio: you tell me Buster: Rio Rio: What? Buster: All I'm ever gonna tell you is how perfect you are Buster: Come on Rio: Do you think I'm going to embarrass you? Buster: No Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: Don't call me stupid Buster: I'm not, I'm saying the idea that I'd ever feel like that 'cause of you is stupid and you know it is Rio: I'm nervous Buster: Tell me Rio: What if someone there knows Rio: it's stupid Buster: We're going there 'cause they don't Buster: Trust me Rio: I do Rio: I just don't want this to end Buster: It won't Buster: No matter what, remember? Rio: Yeah Rio: I know, it'd just be nice if we didn't have to test that theory for a long time yet, wouldn't it Buster: We're not testing it tonight Buster: It's the opposite, a chance for us to be like any other couple Rio: Yeah Rio: okay, I'll stop freaking out now Buster: Freaking out isn't the vibe either, your worries aren't irrational, I wish I could say they are Buster: But like I said, I chose this party over any of the others happening this week for a good reason Buster: You're safe, and so is the secret Rio: You aren't stupid either, obviously Rio: I do know Rio: and I do wanna have a good time with you, so we will Buster: I just wanna give you everything that he can, especially bullshit that gets taken for granted Rio: You don't need to compete with him Rio: or anyone else Buster: There's no competition Buster: Like you said, I ain't stupid Rio: even if we could literally never leave the hotel, I'd be happy, you know Rio: I just like being with you Buster: Yeah, but you need to know that I'm not ashamed of you, I wasn't when we were kids and I'm not now Buster: Whether nobody or everybody knows Rio: I know what I am Rio: and what your friends are like Rio: and girls you're used to Rio: is different Buster: I know what you are Buster: And they're not my friends, you are Buster: As for any girl other than you, you know how I feel and how I don't Rio: I love you Buster: I'm sorry Rio: No, don't be Rio: you've done everything right Buster: I haven't though, it's my fault you feel like I could be anything but flattered that you wanna go anywhere with me Buster: I know what I am too, and what I've done Rio: It's more circumstance Rio: you just played into it Buster: I've been acting like it's Nance who's wrong, for not fitting in, maybe it's me Buster: Maybe I'm actually the weak one Rio: You did what you had to do Rio: I would've done the same Rio: I have Buster: You haven't been cruel, that's just me Rio: I'm no saint, babe Rio: no one is Buster: You're as close as it gets then Rio: You're good, Buster Rio: I know Rio: and I knew Buster: I'm whatever people need me to be Rio: You ain't what you do to survive Buster: That's exactly what I am Buster: Everyone is Rio: I don't think so Buster: 'Cause you want to think that I'm good Rio: No Rio: because that assumes it's never gonna be more than just surviving Rio: it's some lowest common denominator shit Rio: I'd rather look at potential over desperation Rio: any cunt who thinks they'd be a 👼 at their lowest, hasn't ever been that far down Buster: It's not gonna be more than just surviving any time soon Buster: So 'course you'd rather look at potential, who wouldn't? Rio: I'm not going to be defined by my worst Rio: that's not naive optimism Buster: Good, don't be Rio: Why are you then Buster: When you're the best, you're also the worst Rio: I'm not Rio: You can't have it all the ways Buster: You're better than me, that's no secret, babe Buster: I keep telling you Rio: Then I can be worse too Buster: No you can't Rio: Why don't you like yourself Buster: 'Cause you can't please everyone Rio: you should consider yourself Rio: fuck everyone else Buster: That would only get me so far Rio: You don't have to be a dick to get places Rio: I'm aware, it does work Rio: but it's also not a requirement Buster: It is where I live Buster: And as we've established, I won't be leaving for a while Rio: you don't want to end up there Rio: do you? Buster: No Rio: Good Buster: I wanna come home Rio: I like being here too Buster: Remember when I hid Rio: Yeah Rio: and we'd really plan like your parents would just leave without you eventually Buster: Home Alone and Parent Trap really made it seem plausible, to be fair Rio: You were lead well astray with the latter Rio: though you're not also a ginger so that revelation probably wouldn't have happened Buster: I'm not a girl, more importantly, I'm not exactly sure how that's escaped your notice lately Buster: And I've got more chance of becoming one than my parents have of getting divorced at this point Rio: This is true, I remember Rio: it has been a day, you know Rio: my memory fades so fast Buster: Just as well I took more pictures than just the topless ones earlier then, yeah? Buster: [dropping nudes casually] Rio: you're forgiven for holding out on me Rio: just so you know Rio: 🥴 Buster: I said I wouldn't distract you too much Buster: My memory never fades Rio: that's a shame Rio: 'cos there's loads of this convo I'd like you to forget Rio: but we can start with the no distracting rule Buster: I didn't say no, just that you've gotta put clothes on before I can take them off Rio: I suppose that's fair Buster: What are you wearing then? Rio: You can't rip it Rio: it's one of my best dresses Rio: [a picture of it in her bag] Rio: you want me to put it on? Buster: I'll do it Buster: I've stressed you out, it's only right that I calm you down before we get there Buster: Full 👸🏽 treatment Rio: It's not you Rio: but I'm not going to say no or turn that down ever so Buster: You've got the wrong twin if you want any makeup doing though Buster: I only know how to take it off Rio: 😏 I'll survive Rio: though I may put on some to have you do that again Rio: it was so nice Buster: Start with lipstick, I really wanna take that off Rio: ❤️ or 💗? Buster: You tell me Buster: [sends her a pic of his outfit like] Rio: Hmm Rio: You'll look better in pink Buster: Okay Rio: more subtle, I know Rio: but I can leave other marks Buster: Yeah, you can Buster: I'm almost there now Rio: Go faster Buster: I'm not driving Buster: But I'll insist he does Rio: Do Buster: Already done Rio: he must think you're such a twat now Rio: my bad Buster: You're worth getting a lower rating from him for Rio: That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me Rio: 😂 Buster: You're welcome Rio: You can say what you like about my standards on that one Buster: I don't dislike myself that much Rio: Good Rio: 'cos you're my favourite person Rio: and won't have nothing said about my taste Buster: You've got flawless taste, especially in dresses Rio: I knew you'd liked it Buster: I love it Rio: I'm gonna look good for you baby Buster: You do now Rio: but always Buster: You do always Rio: I'll get lazy if you make it this easy, like Buster: You'll still look good then Buster: And I'll still want you Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: I'm going to miss you so much Buster: I'll do whatever I can to make sure you don't though Buster: Anything Rio: We both will Rio: people do it, don't they Rio: there must be tips to cope Buster: 'Course Buster: Loads of people meet online and live in different countries, loads further away from each other than we'll be Rio: Exactly Rio: it doesn't always fail, can't do Rio: it's just harder Buster: Even if it does for everyone else, we're not gonna let it for us Rio: No Rio: we can't Buster: We won't Rio: you're too good and no one else is going to look after you properly Buster: Nobody else is gonna look at me or touch me or know me Buster: Only you Rio: I'm yours, in every way a person can be Rio: and I need you, you know Buster: Well, I'm here, so you can have me Rio: here here? Buster: Close your eyes and open them again Buster: You'll see me Rio: [does] Buster: [opens the car door because gentleman] Rio: [the most extra greeting like it's been 1000 years] Buster: [we know he's being as extra it's fine] Rio: [lol at the day you ever get a chatty driver] Buster: [he'd just be rude cos 100% that bitch] Buster: [or they'd do that thing where you try and talk normally and act like nothing is happening even though you're being saucy af] Rio: [that is a mood tbf] Buster: [we should give them a chatty driver one day lol] Rio: [we'll let you live today 'cos you need to get changed so literally as much ignoring as possible tah] Buster: [get you a man who will undress and redress you like he literally is] Rio: [so about it, reckon we probably know how this party will play out now so wanna do easter?] Buster: [yeah we know it's their chance to be extra in front of everyone so I'm down to do easter]

[textsfromtheborderline]

I'm gonna be honest: I like your posts a lot, think they're informative and look good. The reason I don't follow you/RB any of your posts is because you once made a post where you referred to "narcissistic abuse", a term that unfairly stigmatises NPD. However, since then I think you may have deleted it, and have made posts that indicate you don't support the stigma against NPD. Basically, what I'm asking is, do you believe narcissistic abuse is a valid term? (If i got the wrong person, my bad!)

Hey, thanks for asking!

I deeply appreciate that you like my inforgraphics. 

I never made a post referringto “Narcissistic abuse;” it was in the original FAQ page of my blog whereI used it to describe my experiences with my NPD/ASPD abuser. Rest assured,I’ll be addressing this concept and your question in a much more detailed and impactful way in the not too distant future…

For now, I will say that no,I do not believe any longer that “Narcissistic abuse” (or Borderlineabuse, for that matter) is a valid term.

Why I used tothink it was valid:

I had never before in my life encountered such cruel emotionalabuse + manipulation. It completely crushed me. I was ignorant to thisparticular mental illness. Once I identified the behaviour of my abuser (thanksGoogle!), Narcissistic abuse seemed the appropriate term to describe my livedexperiences and the bewildering behaviour of NPD.I initially simply thought that “My abuser is a Narcissist” + “abuse” = Narcissisticabuse. I didn’t really think of it as being a part of stigma or its own specialcategory until I started finding out about the experiences of other abusesurvivours.

The articles, vlogs, books, and blogs I’d relied on for informationwhile I was going No Contact and just beginning my recovery process allconfirmed that Narcissistic abuse was quite distinct from run-of-the-millabuse. I thought that so many similar experiences could not all be wrong. The most prominent reasons offered were: 1) Narcissists are inherently abusive;they exist to torment unsuspecting people so everyone is a potential SupplySource/victim2) Narcissists prey upon HSP/Empaths inparticular, which makes the abuse distinct, insidious, and especiallydestructive.Of course, I’ll point out that these two statements are highly contradictoryand present a black + white/ good vs. evil narrative that honestly has no placewhen it comes to discussing mental health in an open, honest and well informedway. It is difficult and impractical to moralize mental illness.Now before I knew about my BPD, HSP/Empath was the first concept Iencountered that really reflected my inner processes since childhood. It turnedout to be correct, along with BPD. But I didn’t have all the information Ishould have had, so the context within which I was processing information aboutmyself and about NPD was skewed.

My own painful experiences + misinformation=prejudice. Honestly, Ididn’t want to consider that what hadhappened to me was simply “ordinary” abuse. It still felt far too significantin my life, and affected me personally on such a deep level, that I felt thatto consider it anything other than “Narcissistic abuse” dismissed + invalidatedmy experiences. I thought Narcissists were trying to excuse abuse and tomanipulate perception of their disorder. I never cared to consider the stigmabecause I was too wrapped up in my own experiences.

This was my perspective until very recently, when I started thisblog.

Why I don’tthink it’s valid anymore:

Learning about my BPD was the catalyst for me starting tochallenge stigma. I got sick and tired of being labelled a “demon” or “monster.”Especially since the way I live completely contradicts those labels. I have never abused anyone, and I never will-mental illness or no. I’d had enough of the misinformation, distortions, outright lies, and lack ofresources for Borderlines. I wanted to make a difference. So here I am justtrying my best in hopes that it helps.

Other Narcissists and abuse survivours writing to me and gentlyexplaining that there was no such thing as Narcissistic abuse. I was able toconsider their perspective this time because I had hit a “recovery wall:” Iwasn’t progressing with healing or knowledge, I was stagnating. The reason why is because I found that the online recovery community was nolonger helping; it was frightening me with the toxic, misinformed, and franklyhateful + dogmatic rhetoric being spread under the guise of “recovery.”Where I once found solidarity, I now found the very same emotions I was tryingto heal from: anger, despair, confusion, and rage. These people were no longermy fellow abuse survivours. I saw them for what they were: people stuck andhyperfixated on their suffering, blinded by emotion, professing to a truth theythought was complete, but actually doing more harm than good.While I still check up on a few YouTube channels, I do it because these arefocused on recovery and healthy coping mechanisms, not on demonizing Narcissistsand wallowing in the aftermath of abuse. But even then, I take them with agrain of salt.It also bothers me that so many channels/blogs/authors monetize their preciousknowledge. That kind of vulture-like opportunism on the suffering + desperationof victims hurts us all.Fundamentally, any kind of “knowledge” about BPD and NPD that does not includean open, honest discussion between non-personality disordred people (abusevictims or not) and personality disordered people, cannot truly be knowledge because it’s missing key information +perspectives of the Cluster B community.That’s why I became disillusioned with the recovery community. Ifind them all so amusing and pathetic now. In my opinion (which may be harsh),the survivours who are truly committed to recovery and moving on have checkedout of that toxic community and are learning + healing on their own terms.

I wasn’t furious or in pain anymore; my hate and despair hadburned out. I was ready to truly moveon. And moving on meant acknowledging that I had gaping holes in my knowledge.It was time to humble myself and learn once again.

So when I was told to consider Narcissistic abuse as invalid, I actually listened.

The term “Narcissistic abuse” is invalid because while the abuse aperson experienced is real and valid, itis not its own special category. There isno disorder that makes someone abusive. Abuse is a choice that is made mynon-disordered and disordered people alike.Mentally ill people, particularly Cluster Bs, do need to managepotentially dangerous symptoms. But they are not inherently abusive. It’s also important to keep in mind that moreoften than not, they are actually the ones beingabused.

So ultimately, “Narcissistic abuse” does more harm than goodbecause to blame a disorder for the choice to inflict abuseis just taking the blame off the abuser. They are at fault for whatthey did, and to use their disorder as a reason for why they did it is givingthem an out.

To be clear, I contributed heavily in my own way to the stigmaagainst NPD (and I will also be talking about this openly in the near future aswell). I said some hateful and quite ignorant things to my abuser. I dehumanizedher in order to fully go No Contact. She was not a person, I convinced myself,she was a Narcissist and therefore Iwas allowed to dismiss her thoughts, feelings, and experiences.  It was the only (wrong) way I thought wasavailable to me at the time.

I felt completely justified because I was furious and in terriblepain from the abuse; I was betrayed by my best friend and partner of sevenyears, and it just felt righteous to lash out. I don’t take those things back,but I do wish I had been able to reach a reasonable, calm state of mind inorder to truly understand. The situation did not permit it at the time. But it’s been two years of NoContact. Two years filled with tears, learning, growth, victories, andknowledge. I realize now that I was misinformed and even plainly wrong aboutwhat I once thought I knew. That’s okay, because here I am now.

As far as I’m concerned, my abuser can rot in hell. I am happy tohave finally reached a point in my recovery process where I am completely emotionallydetached from her and absolutely cannot care less about anything to do with her(which is a big deal for me so I celebrate it).

No Contact has served me well, and will continue to do so. Istrongly encourage + support everyone to go No Contact with abusive Narcissists and Borderlines.But that is precisely the distinction: having the knowledge and understandingavailable in order to separate the abusers from the genuinely decent Cluster Bpeople, which in my experience is the majority of us.

But that’s an important discussion for another time.

I hope this answers your question!

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Grace

Rio: Hey Rio: rough night, I hear Grace: Ugh Rio: That bad? Grace: Let's just not Grace: mum and dad have obvs given you the goss so like Rio: they just said you might wanna talk Rio: I'm out of the loop Rio: try me Grace: oh please none of you wanna pick up the phone unless Janis uses hers to call me out Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Rio: that ain't true Rio: and I'm here now Grace: sure babes Rio: come on Rio: you're gonna do me that dirty? Rio: pop an aspirin and spill Grace: there's no big drama, I've already told literally everyone that Rio: then why has it been made into one Rio: your chance to put your side across, don't be too pouty to take it Grace: UM hello, cos Janis is extra Grace: 🤞 that we'll all forget she took nan's car the other night if we focus on me rn Rio: So she made it up? Grace: she made it into something it's not duh Grace: so I hit up my ex Rio: Not like her to get involved, ever Rio: never mind for nothing Rio: what's up with that? Grace: like I said, mum and dad are !!!! about her and her bf so Grace: she's over it Rio: Who even is he Rio: some english kid, they said Grace: mhmm Grace: he's the hot new boy at school Rio: isn't there anyone new you've got your eye on Rio: exes are never a good idea, drama unwarranted or nah Grace: It's not like he's ever gonna be more than that Grace: I just needed a ride thanks Rio: You can't be doing that, babe Grace: I didn't end up doing anything, it's fine Rio: That ain't the point, you know that Rio: you treat lads like shit, give them the warrant to do it back Rio: you don't need to be living like that Grace: He already did, that's why he's an ex Rio: and that's why you don't hit him up Rio: that is not an ex, honey Grace: OMG he took me to a party not a registry office Rio: No one is concerned you're taking it too seriously Rio: not seriously enough Grace: Great, it's your turn to call me a hoe now Grace: love that Rio: Stop Rio: trying to be so right you hear us all wrong Rio: not taking serious how you let lads treat you Grace: No, Ri you can stop Grace: however bad you want me to feel I already do, trust Grace: it was the worst day, I tried to make it better Grace: that did NOT happen Grace: & now I'm over it Rio: I don't want you to feel bad, that's the whole point Rio: so what happened Grace: Nothing! I went to the fair with one boy, he left so I called another to take me home Grace: like I'm so sorry I'm not still there literally stranded Rio: You wouldn't be stranded don't be ridiculous Rio: we're not daft, you didn't need to go anywhere with that lad Rio: what happened to the first lad then Grace: well I OBVS wanted to Grace: who wouldn't after such a cringe date Rio: but your ex is a twat, no Rio: what kind of solution Grace: he doesn't pretend he isn't Rio: that makes it alright then Rio: come off it Rio: it's ice cream and bitching you need, not pencilling in another immediately after Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I'm not 9 hun Rio: Yes, you're very mature Rio: for God's sake Grace: Excuse you Grace: I shouldn't have called him okay but it's not that deep Rio: you two need to sort it out Rio: mum and dad don't need this Grace: OMG Grace: how dare you Grace: that bitch literally put herself in REAL danger, that's not me Rio: that's not what I heard Grace: Yeah? Grace: so when you literally just said that they told you I wanted to talk that was a lie Rio: well they're not going to just throw that at me with no context Grace: & the context is ???? Rio: Grace, tbh, I don't have the time to relay to you what you did, hence asking you at the start of this conversation Grace: mhmm Grace: you never have time for any of us Grace: & now you expect me to open up to you or something Rio: things change Rio: I'm not a child anymore either, I've got my own family, a job Rio: just because I can't be here 24/7 doesn't mean I'm not still your big sister Grace: Just stop Grace: pretending that you care about me Grace: treating me like I'm still 12 Grace: you can just stop Rio: we all care about you, Grace Grace: thanks for not wanting me to also get killed, obvs Grace: but like I've got that covered Rio: Clearly not Rio: I thought you were better than this Rio: we need less people in this family acting so recklessly Rio: why do you have to join in Grace: UM Janis is the one drunkenly trying to joyride Grace: give her some of this energy Rio: and you think getting taken to a party where you don't know anyone and it's majority older men then getting blackout drunk is any less dangerous Rio: worry about yourself Rio: she's a separate issue Grace: That isn't even what I did Grace: he lied to me about the party Rio: this is why you can't associate with people you already know are bad news Rio: you're a smart girl, you need to act like it or you'll get taken advantage of Rio: none of us want to see that Rio: you don't need me to tell you all the worse things that could've happened, my god, just like Janis doesn't need us to explain to her the dangers of what she did, but we still have to if you're both going to be pulling stunts like this Grace: I need for Janis not to tell mum and dad that I'm following in yours, Edie's and Carly's footsteps depending on the mood Grace: if she'd left me alone I wouldn't have been that drunk Grace: it's totally her fault that I couldn't just go home Rio: You can't put yourself in needless danger because you two are having a spat Rio: there's no scenario in life you don't take responsibility for your actions, babe Rio: because you'd be the one getting hurt, not her Grace: OMG it wasn't about her! I literally told you I was having the worst day Grace: like you've never hit up an ex cos he's a sure thing Grace: & I'm so sure Buster was right there whenever & that was always a good idea Rio: You just said it was Rio: and even if this was about me and my mistakes, which it isn't at all, what, you think that means it's okay for you to repeat them and I'll be cool with that Rio: god love them but I am not mum and dad, that's not how I do things okay Grace: & you just said I'm the problem Grace: I know, okay? Rio: I did not Grace: whatever, babes Rio: Do not whatever me Rio: I didn't, and you don't get to dismiss actual advice and concern because you're in a strop Grace: ugh Grace: in a strop? Really Rio: Yes, really Grace: You literally have no idea how I feel Rio: then tell me Grace: I'd honestly rather die than have you report back to mum and dad anything I've ever said Rio: for god's sake Rio: that isn't what it's about Grace: Oh okay, you just happen to be in my inbox Grace: it's so not cos I won't tell them anything Rio: If you don't feel good, it needs to be sorted Rio: that isn't going to happen if you keep doing what you're doing and don't talk to any of us Grace: I can't talk to any of you, you're my problem Rio: if you aren't mature enough to talk about this, then I'll have to tell 'em as much Grace: No, this family is literally my problem Grace: growing up in it as the ugliest one, the stupidest one Rio: why would you even think something like that Grace: Duh, it's what everyone thinks Rio: no it's not Rio: and the ones that say they do are not worth listening to Rio: there's always going to be the ones that say horrible things, but that doesn't mean it's true Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Rio: don't roll your eyes like it doesn't matter Rio: it does Grace: your mum answers don't matter & they don't help me Rio: Grace, you need to help yourself Rio: you have to decide it isn't going to get to you, and then it's a process of actively ignoring that and telling yourself the opposite, surrounding yourself with other people who lift you up too, not drag you down Rio: then, you stand a chance of believing it Rio: lamenting how mean people are and blaming us, will never make you feel better Rio: you deserve to feel better than that, you need to Grace: OMG you chose to do everything you did online & marry our cousin, I didn't choose to look like this Grace: You don't know what it's like & you can't Grace: none of you do so stop judging me for how I deal with it Rio: And you can choose to reckon I deserve it then, that all the rest of us do Rio: but that'll never stop them judging you as well Rio: anything you do, they still will, that's just life I'm afraid Rio: and I'm not judging how you deal with it, I'm telling you I see that you aren't Rio: uncomfortable as that might make you, it's because I want you to, I want you to feel better Grace: Wow, thanks Rio: Deal with it, seriously Rio: this is no way to live your life Grace: Good talk, babes Grace: so motivational Rio: Shut the fuck up with your fake bullshit for once and take it in Rio: I am so sick of this, I'm not doing it again Grace: I have Janis for my tough love so Rio: It's not tough love Rio: consider why someone just trying to be real with you feels like an attack Rio: you can't fake that those defenses are real with me, girl Rio: I've known you longer than you've known yourself Grace: honey, I know why, I know everything I am & everything I'm not Grace: of course I'm the fakest Grace: why would I wanna be real? Rio: You know what they say you are Rio: and you're prepared to live up to that and that alone Rio: no life, like I said Rio: you can do so much better Grace: cos being real worked out so well for Edie, right? Grace: & Janis is really living her best life with that honesty too now Rio: Stop deflecting as if this is about anyone but you Rio: you are no better off Rio: it'll kill you just as fast Grace: I can't separate myself from any of you, that, like I said, is my problem Rio: yet again, because you're obsessed with the validation you'll never get from arseholes who have no stake in seeing you win Rio: they want another show and you are giving it Rio: this family has done nothing but encourage you to be yourself, ever Grace: Do you even remember what 15 feels like? Take a sec, babes Rio: Like I said, you won't get the 'we all make mistakes' off me Rio: you can learn, you have so much opportunity Grace: Opportunity to keep being compared & always come last in that comparison, sure Grace: 👌👌👌 Rio: so be a loser, yeah? Rio: prove them right Rio: because who have you won over here Rio: your bitchy friends that are more trouble than they're worth Grace: they OBVS are right, I'm not pretty or smart Grace: I'm a bitch and not in the way where it's actually goals Grace: so like ??? Rio: None of that is true Rio: but we can't have this conversation if you're at a place where you believe it is Grace: bye then Grace: catch you at the next crisis 👋 Rio: No, Grace Rio: you don't get to feel justified in thinking none of us care just because the help you need goes beyond what we can say and do Rio: I'm getting you professional help, but it won't work unless YOU want it to Rio: and if you don't, if you're happy to settle for this then yes, you are exactly like her Grace: You're not mum, stop acting like it Rio: it's your decision, and one you know full-well she won't think is a bad idea Rio: let alone put a stop to Grace: Duh, she never puts a stop to anything Rio: You'll be able to discuss all of that Rio: you need someone impartial Rio: you're never going to take on what we say, if we're the problem to you Grace: I'm not mental Rio: for goodness sake, who said you were Rio: you're having problems, you work on solving them Grace: OMG my problems aren't that big of a deal Grace: just cos most of this fam are in love with themselves Grace: leave me alone Rio: They are Rio: the way you've said you've felt is horrible Rio: you shouldn't have to live with that every day Rio: you don't have to Grace: the way you're trying to freak me out is worse Grace: I don't wanna talk to some random therapist wtf Rio: I'm not, there's nothing to be scared of remotely Rio: do you wanna feel better? Grace: I'm not telling a stranger everything about me, that's so gross Rio: You don't, you lead the conversation, talk about what you want to Rio: and it's totally confidential, she isn't on her coffee break slagging you off Grace: I don't want to talk about anything Rio: How well has that worked for you so far then, eh Rio: you will Rio: and the offer will still stand then Grace: STOP Rio: No, I won't Rio: how much shit has been allowed to happen in this family through not talking is ridiculous Rio: it's time for that to fucking stop, alright Grace: Please, Rio Rio: I'm not saying it won't be painful but can you tell me living like this doesn't hurt Rio: the mess we're all in Grace: it's like I told Janis, it's too little too late Grace: I can't just like undo everything Rio: It never is Rio: you aren't dead Rio: and being 15 will not last forever, the friends, the feelings, none of it Rio: you'll always have yourself and you should be fucking good with that Grace: I'll want to be if I have to talk about everything that's wrong Rio: it's daunting Rio: but you can do it Rio: if you live like this, you burn out Rio: we've all seen it, as I said, I'm not prepared to do it again so easily Grace: or I'll get pregnant & turn my life around like every other woman in this fam Rio: Give you that, but it's not funny Grace: 😂😂😂/😭😭😭 Grace: 🤷 it'll be Janis now she's so in love anyway Rio: it'll be neither of you, no discussion needed Grace: aw babes, it's okay Grace: we've all had that discussion Rio: I've already told you it's no joke Rio: so have I, so had mum Grace: Duh, me and my friends all went & got the implant together thanks Rio: Good Rio: babies don't fix anything Rio: especially not you Grace: I don't want any of my exes around that long, trust Rio: no more exes Rio: you know better than that Grace: Excuse me Grace: I'm not giving any new boys chances if it's gonna work out like Ash at the fair Rio: Boys are not the issue here either Rio: focus on yourself Grace: obvs Grace: that doesn't mean I wanna be constantly alone with myself Rio: of course not Rio: but you need to be comfortable with yourself when you are Rio: otherwise you'll be willing to surround yourself with anyone just so you aren't Grace: I thought we'd established that I am Grace: cue Janis' slut intervention Rio: You joke but tell me otherwise Grace: I'm sorry, who actually wants to be alone?? Grace: literally nobody ever so there's no need to target me Rio: Anyone who respects themselves would rather than be treated poorly Rio: that's the issue Rio: not that you want company, the company you're willing to accept and not know that you deserve better Grace: it's not my fault that decent teenage boys barely exist Rio: then wait Rio: you have options Grace: EW & do what 🙏🙏🙏? Rio: 🙄 Rio: If you're gonna be silly I've got to go now Grace: If you don't see that as ridiculous then yeah do go, hun Grace: I really would look & sound mental Rio: The only thing that's ridiculous is you would rather be treated like shit than to know and own your worth Rio: and you can blame the lads 'til you're blue in the face but it'll never change what happened and you will regret it, big time Rio: I would know Rio: and plenty of people don't have boyfriends at your age, at any age, respect that a fuck ton more than girls who are not ready rushing into bad situations because they feel left out somehow Grace: OMG like it's not bad enough that every boy at school wants to get with Janis over me, you want me to be like UM NO THANKS to any I can get Grace: nobody would respect that AT ALL they'd just think there's even more wrong with me Rio: exactly, in the grand scheme of things, they are nobody Rio: letting them dictate your behaviour will just leave you miserable because that's what they want Grace: if I leave school rn, sure Grace: but that isn't what you're saying I should do Grace: so that means years around these people Rio: I repeat, are you happy now Rio: is it working for you Grace: & I repeat, I can't change the way I look Grace: that's also years away Rio: that's the answer to nothing Rio: nothing I said and just nothing in general Grace: of course you'd think that Rio: It isn't Rio: you can change yourself beyond recognition but you'll never be satisfied with the results Grace: You've always been beautiful, you don't get to speak on it Rio: you're beautiful, Grace Grace: Don't even Grace: you literally sound like mum & dad now Rio: it's true Grace: it's embarrassing Grace: you call out all these lads for how they allegedly treat me, at least they don't lie about things like that Rio: it isn't a lie Rio: people use your insecurities against you for their gain Rio: those people don't love you like your family do, you choose to believe them, you're choosing to hate yourself Grace: Duh, I do that too Grace: like I said, babes, there's no beautiful personality either Rio: I'm fully aware, Grace, and I'm not the only one Rio: it's not just about looks, every bad thing you think about yourself, it's as clear as day for every predator that wants to take advantage Grace: okay great Grace: that makes me feel so much better Rio: yes, you need to make yourself feel better Rio: this conversation isn't here to make you feel better, no one is here to make you feel better Rio: nothing worth having is handed to you, you have to start working for it Grace: 👏THIS 👏 is 👏 who 👏I 👏 am Grace: so sorry if you don't like me Grace: I'm sure there'll be takers on the fam whatsapp to discuss that tho Rio: No, it isn't Rio: you're 15, you aren't the same person minute to minute Rio: and more importantly, these are unresolved mental health issues Grace: it makes no sense to label me if that's what you think Grace: so what's the thing here, am I just 15 or am I just mental? Rio: The thing is, Grace Rio: these issues didn't appear overnight, and they aren't going away any quicker Rio: you're talking of a lifetime of feeling ugly and stupid Rio: if you start addressing that, at 15, you stand a chance of seeing 30 Grace: I know, I've literally lived it thank you Rio: and if that's such a problem, stop Grace: stop stressing me out more!!! Rio: I'm sorry but you need it, you think you can go undetected doing the things you do and hope Janis or one of the others will always be doing something worse Rio: no, no one gets left behind Grace: they don't get left cos they leave Rio: they've not left Grace: Oh please Grace: reaching out now cos mum & dad made you doesn't mean you're here Grace: you literally said yourself that you can't be Rio: Good god, I'm nearly 23 Rio: did you expect me to stay in that house forever Rio: that isn't what happens, that doesn't mean we aren't family, that kind of feeling is what fucked it up in the first place Grace: &? nobody's ever at home but me & Gus or Diego somewhere Grace: I don't wanna stay here Grace: but I leave & suddenly it's the biggest drama ever Rio: Yes, because fact of that matter is you're 15 and that's where you need to be Rio: until you have somewhere of your own, somewhere better to be Rio: and you don't, now that's really sad, I'm sure but neither does anyone else your age Grace: Billie did, Janis does Rio: Billie should never have been allowed to go, and Janis isn't, either Rio: don't assume for a second she isn't getting the same talks Rio: and I'm doing all I can to talk to Billie but she's technically an adult now, she's got a baby, it's harder, much harder Grace: Can't I just come & live with you? You know I'm a really good babysitter Rio: I know you are Rio: but you need more attention, less responsibility Rio: it wouldn't be right Grace: Please, I promise I won't invite boys over EVER Rio: You know it'll be worse, right? Rio: we actually have rules at my house, routine Grace: I'm not Indie, I have a schedule Rio: I'm saying, even if I agreed to a short break for you, it wouldn't be Rio: you know full well you've got way more chance of mum and dad leaving you be Grace: maybe I don't want that Rio: if you're serious about this Rio: and I mean all of it Rio: not just the part where you get a break Rio: then I can talk to Buster Grace: Rio, I can't see a shrink rn, okay? Grace: talking about any of this is like Rio: I know Rio: okay, but we can start making the positive changes we can make, yes Rio: like I said, you're not stupid, you know what's good for you and what definitely isn't, more of the former, less of the latter, okay? Grace: I don't even really remember what I said to Janis or mum and dad when I was drunk and that still makes me wanna die Grace: Idk what to do but it isn't more of that Rio: We've all done that Rio: you will survive it Rio: couldn't have really said anything worse than you're in love with your cousin, can you, so I wouldn't worry Grace: I think I told Janis I love her & that's WAYYYY worse Rio: Loving your sister? Imagine that, I'd better find out an LBD for the wake Grace: I really REALLY miss you Grace: nobody else EVER wants to talk to me Rio: I miss you too Rio: we've all got to try to be better, alright Rio: it's by no means just you but you ain't exempt from my mumming, not sorry Grace: Yeah Grace: I think she's better, she never would have come to get me before that boy moved here Rio: I thought the same Rio: if Edie showed me anything, but she showed me a lot, it was that it is really, really hard to stop loving your family, Grace, even when you want to Grace: I know Grace: I miss everyone, even her Rio: I know, darling Rio: it's taking time, more time than we could've ever anticipated before but if we can all get to a place where we're all trying Rio: it's a start Grace: I don't ever wanna be older than her, it's too weird Rio: It is, but you will want it when you're there Rio: no one should be 16 forever Grace: I can't stop thinking about what Janis did either Rio: me either Rio: what do you really think of her boyfriend then Grace: he's really hot, everyone's lost themselves over him Grace: & them as a couple but ew Rio: thanks for updating me on the school ground goss, even though you clearly think I'm a grandma, you cheeky cow Rio: but I more meant do you think he enables her bad behaviour like Kai did Edie or Rio: though I have a hard time believing Janis could ever be as easily led, seen strangers things Grace: well babes if you wanna talk about my REAL trauma I've seen more of their PDA than I'll ever be comfortable with so Grace: & she smokes now which is GROSS Grace: but tbh he's not like that Rio: Hmm Rio: neither of those are exactly encouraging but not damning either Rio: say the jury is out on him for now but I'll be keeping an eye Grace: it's a good thing if someone she loves wants around though, yeah? Grace: maybe she won't run again Grace: *her Rio: yes and no Rio: short-term, sure Rio: but I don't need to tell you how much you wanna hide forever when it ends, do I Grace: idk I'm just saying I saw them at the fair & she was like ?? happy Grace: she said it was a sugar rush but I'm not stupid Grace: & he's got it SO BAD for her OMG Rio: That's cute Rio: and don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, all of you Rio: I just know it doesn't immediately fix everything if she ain't also trying but maybe she is Rio: like you said, she did come to get you Grace: Yeah Grace: I didn't think she really would Rio: Any of us would Rio: you really can't just turn that stuff off Grace: she can, she has Rio: nah Grace: he's obvs turned her back on & I don't just mean cos he's the hottest white boy our school's had for ages, tho also obvs Rio: 😂 Rio: I won't ask for pics, feels a bit creepy Grace: [sends one anyway] Grace: not really your type, babes Rio: Oh, he is very cute Rio: and ha ha, if you think you can come up with any original joke for me, you can have at it but really decreases the chances of me making up the sofa for you any time soon Grace: no shade he's not my type either Rio: no? Grace: I would obvs hook up with him but I couldn't date him Grace: no way of that working he's too nice & too poor Rio: Grace Grace: ?? Rio: Not funny Grace: he is! I'm not even joking Grace: I'm too high maintenance for a boy like that Rio: You earn your own money then Rio: can't have things like money coming into it Grace: Duh, I will Rio: Good Grace: No boy's sticking around long enough to pay my bills, honey Grace: even if Janis thinks I'm selling myself now Rio: Not all it's cracked up to be Grace: I'll settle for a lot less, thanks to her, we all know Rio: Whatever she said, and I'm sure it was a lot Rio: you have to see her intentions were good Grace: her intentions were dramatic Grace: she can't ever stop being a bitch to me Grace: unless I'm blackout apparently Rio: that shows she had reason to be, no? Rio: not showing concern unless she has to Grace: I'm not saying it wasn't sketchy there Grace: that's why I asked her to come & not mum & dad Rio: how sketchy? Grace: like I was glad when I left Grace: & mum would've killed me Grace: or him Rio: Yeah Rio: I get you Rio: I'm just glad you're okay, but no more going off with people alone without telling someone, even if it's just your friends Rio: I know you think you know people, especially when you've hooked up with them and whatnot, but it's no real indicator Grace: yeah when a lad isn't really drinking but you are that's not a mood so obvs he's deleted 🙌🙌 Grace: I don't need the receipts Grace: be as much of a mess as me thank you Rio: 👍 Rio: what I like to hear Grace: I kept waiting for her to shout at me but she like didn't Rio: maybe she wants things to be different too Grace: There's no way though Grace: Mia is beyond extra about her dating the new boy Grace: she just won't let it go Rio: She liked him too? Grace: we all thought he was hot but idk it's like not about him, she can't deal that Janis finally said yes to someone Grace: has something Rio: It's best to not take sides Rio: but at the end of the day, they're different relationships, Mia will never be your sister Rio: and even if she does have issue with Janis, she shouldn't take that out on you, as a mate Grace: UM I wish you'd told me not to take sides before I threw her out of the house & made her hate me, babes Grace: 😱😱😱 Rio: why'd it come to that, like Grace: they were there too so she was just being THE WORST and would not stop Grace: like I don't wanna see them making out either but Rio: Sounds to me like she just needs to calm down Rio: what business is it of hers what Janis gets up to, really Grace: You literally have to let me stay with you 🙏 I'm so over it Rio: I'm asking, I promise Rio: I'll let you know asap Grace: 💜💜 ILYSM 💜💜 Grace: I get why Nancy moved schools now it's gonna be so annoying Rio: I love you too Rio: well she was really bullied but yeah Rio: fallings out always make it awkward Grace: it's not just Mia, everyone's like OBSESSED Grace: cos Janis finally lost her virginity & we still don't know literally anything about the new boy Grace: there's so many weird rumours Rio: your problem and your answer Rio: people always find new things to talk about soon enough Grace: 🤞🤞🙄🙄 Rio: I'm sure Janis isn't appreciating it very much either Grace: at least nobody's calling her a lesbian anymore Grace: she didn't appreciate that AT ALL Rio: being talked about is shit Rio: that's something we can all relate to Grace: 🤷 I tried to tell her there's way worse things to be called Grace: maybe when she has an ex she'll agree Rio: lies are always the worst, no matter if they're inherently insulting or not Rio: no one should get to dictate who you are Rio: let alone people who have no idea Grace: Yeah, I guess Grace: the truth hurts a lot too tho Grace: sometimes Rio: sometimes Rio: but you can always learn and grow from it Grace: idk hearing that someone thinks about you the way you do should be like this 🙌 yay 🙌 moment but it just never is Grace: it's just like 💔 Rio: when you don't like the truth, as you're seeing it now, it's always gonna hurt to hear it, even if it validates your worldview Rio: truth can be changed, is my point, lies stay lies Grace: okay yeah that makes sense Rio: oh, the kids just woken up from his nap Grace: laters then Rio: yes, I'll get back to you as soon as he replies Rio: 💛 Grace: he's so gonna leave you on read hun Rio: well that's charming Grace: you're literally the only one of us he likes Grace: if he can see my name before he opens it, there's no way Rio: very awkward if he can only muster like at this stage Rio: and give me some credit, not an amateur Grace: EW don't Rio: don't be silly, I'm married to and have kids with him Rio: you're coming over to OUR house, if you are Grace: exactly you're like so OLD! Rio: oh shut up Grace: it's like thinking about mum and dad Grace: so gross Rio: lead with all of this, shall I Rio: not selling yourself here Grace: if you wanna go in with screenshots, maybe pick the ones where I say ILY or something Grace: or send him a selfie of me crying Rio: how soft do you think he is 😏 Grace: duh Grace: boys are easy Rio: hmm Grace: go away 💜 Grace: I have a mum, it's time to be someone else's Rio: 👋 Grace: 💋