#because id rather not stay late to get it done

[chilope]

im trying to decide how long i need to wait for my shitty coworker to do the one (1) thing i asked him to before i go absolutely sicko mode

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[serejae]

WE CANT BE FRIENDS | 16. BUT ID LIKE TO JUST PRETEND

(written)

prev | next

warning: im gonna pretend we're in korea for this chapter so jaehyun can drink LOLSIES, i also know barely anything about drinking so if its not accurate OOPS #20y/owhocantdrinkstrugglesbcshesscaredofthelaw

mstl

taglist @lilriswife4life @cherrytaesan @tubatu-lovie @woonsbot @guiltysungho @taylorluvation @kage-yaa @lionhanie @dearly-somber @nicholasluvbot @nujeskz @unhakki @lblossom21 @crispy-kirby @seunghancore @nctrawberries @i03jae @icewons @miidorei @hanbinniesmango @helpsplease @dongminz

ps: it doesnt get better from here until wayyy after ;-)

(a few minutes ago) EPISODE 5

"what are we even supposed to do?" jaehyun said as he took another shot. "i uh have to ask you questions" woonhak explained as he repositioned the camera up to face jaehyun. jaehyun hummed as he took another shot "are you okay? you took like 10 shots since we got here and i haven't even started recording yet" woonhak looked up from the camera concerned. "pfft what do you know about drinking" jaehyun laughed looking at woonhak, woonhak scoffed "not much, but i know this relates back to yn". the older one looked away "just record or something i don't know..."

"now we have myung jaehyun. i'll ask you questions and you can answer away from yn. i assure you she won't see this footage...well unless she watches this but that's beside the point." woonhak adjusted the camera a bit. "so i CAN answer the question? i have a choice?" jaehyun asked rather tipsy. "no sorry, you WILL answer these."

"what are your opinions on L/N Y/N?"

jaehyun took another shot before answering. "Yn? she's...I MISS HER" he suddenly erupted into tears taking back woonhak but content is content...

"i cant live without her i dont know how i haven't died yet during these 2 years. shes all i constantly think about, when i go to the store, i think about her, when i sleep, i think about her, when I'm even in my fucking office i think about her and that was the main thing that drove me away from her." he sobbed into his hands. woonhak giggled a bit at the sight and zoomed into jaehyun crying. "I'm gonna have to put a 'her' count in here..."

"I thought you ended things because of music, your job?"

"FUCK THE JOB! i'm done, i'll take it all back and work at fucking wendys if it means i can stay with her. my music career is a flop! YOU know" jaehyun pointed at woonhak to which he nods "THEY know" he pointed at the camera "SHE knows" he points at his heart "I just cant take not being around her anymore. we don't have to be friends we don't have to date again I just want her back in my life completely without messing everything up. i'd literally argue with her for the rest of my life even if it hurts me rather than never talk to her at all and it hurts because she makes it look so simple, not missing me, not talking to me. but it's fair enough isn't it? if i had just shut my mouth for that one day i would've realized that music doesn't compare to her, but why'd i have to realize so late?"

"do you still think about her?"

"of course i do" he cried even more, woonhak was pretty sure jaehyuns drink was more tears than alcohol now "you know..." jaehyun giggled for a second 'the roman empire? how its like a joke that all guys think of it often, she, y/n are you watching this?" jaehyun gets close to the camera, his nose touching the lens, too drunk to realize anything. "yn, you're my roman empire, there's not a second i don't think about you. i wake up , its you, i go to sleep, its you, i eat, its you, hell i could strip right now and dance-“ “that's enough" woonhak stops him. "i just wonder why you think so deeply about her, shes just a girl-" jaehyun cuts woonhaks words offended "DONT. shes not just some random girl, shes yn. the first person who understood me, the first person i felt comfortable with, the first person to support my music career, and i just, let her go. for the same music career i left her for. clearly, you've never been in love or never been in love and lost that same person due to your dumb actions..."

"then why were you acting so cold to her today?"

"fuck, woonhak. its all a persona, i'm trying to convince myself I'm over her, but clearly, it's not working, at all. even today i used all the force in me not to fold and when i complained about it on my twitter this random sea jae something account commented...but i remember she did comment under my comment saying "its not like me and her will get together" with a "haha" like what does that mean...is it a sign from the universe?" jaehyun looked over at woonhak with a sad smile trying to convince himself he's not that effected by you despite going on a 30 minute rant about you. woonhak laughed a bit. jaehyun looked down at his shot glass and stared.

"do you think she misses me...like ever?" he turned again to woonhak who stared at jaehyun in pity. "she-" woonhak paused and shook his head "directors shouldn't get involved" jaehyuns body shot over to face woonhak "YOUR NOT A DIRECTOR YOUR A 17 YEAR OLD BOY" "18 in Korea" woonhak added "I DONT CARE, YOUR A 17 OR 18 BOY WHO IS FAILING HIS FILM MAKING CLASS WITH A NEGATIVE NUMBER. WHAT DOES SHE SAY ABOUT ME."

"fine, i'll show you." woonhak logs into his phone and text you to help him out. "oops, phone died" jaehyun groaned and face planted into the table.

(NOW)

you texted woonhak that you were outside and you saw him drag jaehyun out. "damn he's out." taesan said from your backseat. you hum in agreement. woonhak approaches the car and opens the back seat to throw jaehyun in until taesan stops him "put jaehyun in the passenger seat" "but you're back here-"

"woonhak. put. jaehyun. in. the. damn. front. seat."

woonhak placed jaehyun in the front seat and got in the back.

jaehyun turned his head to you as you were driving

"yn?" he asked softly "yeah?" "do you ever miss me?"

you dont reply, looking in your rear view mirror you see woonhak and taesan sleeping. sighing you turn back to jaehyun when you stop at a red light, he looked at you with soft doe eyes that could break any minute. but you couldn't help but admire his features shining in the red light, you hadn't got a good look at him until now and damn, he was still so...

BEEP

right. "back then yeah" you lied, or maybe not, who cares

"i still miss you, a lot. Every day i wake up and my heart aches for you, only to see an empty cold space in the spot next to me. i know, i know everyone tells me and i got the signal from you, i know I'm stupid for ending a relationship over music, SoundCloud especially but i don't want to move on. if i put on earth with one other girl and her only i wouldn't even speak to her, i'd make a stick doll and name it after you, talk to it every day, because yn, you're the only person I've ever needed and i hate that i lost the one person who kept me going, that i still dream of, that i can't move on from, i just wish i didn't let you go at all.

do you...still think we'd be together if i hadn't ruined us?"

you pause staring at the gearstick "maybe in another life" you replied lowly afraid your voice would crack. you blink back tears refusing to even look at him. you hear him catch his breath and realize he's crying "i just wish it could be this life. i want it to be this life, yn, I'll do anything for it to be this life please. let me back in your life."

"jaehyun no, you're drunk"

"drunk words are sober thoughts"

taesan said from the backseat still with his eyes closed. you realize both woonhak and taesan have been faking sleeping the entire time.

"get out" you said. taesan opened his eyes and realized yall were in front of his and jaehyuns house. OH RIGHT, thanks yn" you hum as you watch taesan help jaehyun out. "take care" you said to both of them, before jaehyun gets through the door he turns back at you and smiles softly

"ugh i shouldve recorded that"

oh.

you forgot he was there.

[suzukiblu]

Day twenty-seven of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

They walk to their first planned destination, Kon being unfairly adorable and also an asshole at the same time, because it’s Kon so of course he can multitask that kind of shit. Tim gets teased about his taste in kids’ toys and his date budget and his theoretical Smash skills, which he’s clearly going to need to educate the bastard on the hard way. Alternately, Tim also gets Hawaiian gummy candy shared with him, never mind that Kon apparently both really likes it and hasn’t had it in months. 

Tim continues to be in way too deep and finds it sweet of him, possibly because of the excited and pleased way Kon grins at him when he tells him likes the candy. 

Tim is definitely in way too deep. 

They get where they’re going, and Kon . . . pauses, and then tilts his head and raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Seriously?” he asks. 

“Trust me,” Tim says with admittedly unwarranted confidence as he squeezes his hand, then leads him into the modern art museum looming in front of them. Kon isn’t the type to really be that into museums, he knows, but they did “meet” in one and also this specific exhibit seemed, well . . . 

Promising, he guesses. 

“Sure, pretty boy,” Kon says with a laugh, squeezing his hand in return. Tim is idly mystified as to why Kon keeps calling him that, but in no way intends to dissuade him from it. If Kon wants to call him completely illogical things, that’s up to him.

He takes Kon to the ticket counter and buys them both a ticket. The clerk asks for their ID and Kon hesitates, because he’s obviously never had or needed an actual ID in his life, but Tim’s already pulling out the fake ones he made for “Alvin Draper” and “Connell Hill”. They won’t stand up to Bat-level scrutiny, obviously–he didn’t have the time or see the point in going that far–but they’ll get them into an adults-only museum night. He’ll do up something more reliable to buy the cul-de-sac with. He has a few identities that could buy property established, but Bruce knows all of those identities, so he’d rather avoid using any of them. Easier to just build a new cover ID from scratch than hide an active one setting up a new residence that isn’t an obvious safehouse, he figures. 

He pays the clerk, pockets his receipt, and they head down the hall together. The museum is one of the nicer ones in Gotham, and decorated a little bit more nicely than usual for the event, but not outright extravagantly. It’s due to be open a little later than usual too, though Tim doesn’t know how late Kon will want to stay. He can probably push back their dinner reservations if it comes to it, though he’s not expecting that to be necessary. 

“It’s an 18+ thing?” Kon asks as soon as they’re out of the clerk’s earshot, raising an eyebrow curiously. “The frick kind of museum is this?” 

“Not that kind,” Tim says, trying not to blush. “They just do adults-only events sometimes. It’s just so there won’t always be a bunch of bratty kids and annoying teenagers running around distracting the older museum-goers. And there's hors d'oeuvres and drinks.” 

“Babe, I don’t know about you, but you are aware I am technically both a bratty kid and an annoying teenager, right?” Kon asks him with a smirk. 

“That would be why I got you a fake ID too,” Tim says reasonably. 

“So we just snuck into a museum with fake IDs,” Kon says with a laugh. “I mean, I’ve done weirder, probably, but what the fuck, Tim? Where’d you even get that?” 

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Tim says only a little bit sheepishly, carefully avoiding the latter question. Also every other version of this kind of exhibit he found was way more kid-oriented and definitely not going to count as the kind of “nice” date to have convinced Kon to dress up for or actually look like Tim had put effort into any of the night. 

“What, did the goat idol end up here?” Kon asks in amusement. “We checking up on the little guy?” 

“No, he’s still living his best life in Metropolis under increased security, last I heard,” Tim says, though that’d be kind of funny, so depending on how long they’re seeing each other maybe he should keep that idea in mind. 

“You actually checked?” Kon asks with a laugh. 

. . . right, that’s not something a normal teenager would do, is it. Well–too late now, so Tim’s just gonna have to lean into it. 

“I was just wondering what they were going to do with it, after a whole gallery wall got blown in and everything,” he says. “Apparently the answer was ‘close for a weekend and then back to business’. Don’t ask me where they found contractors that fast.” 

“It’s Metropolis,” Kon says. “If you can’t find a contractor to fix superhero damage, you’re not trying.” 

“It wasn’t actually superhero damage,” Tim points out. “You didn’t break anything.” 

“A real fucking important vase, apparently,” Kon snorts, but he’s smiling a little as he shrugs. “Alright, fine, but ‘mediocre museum robber damage’ probably doesn’t sound as good on the insurance, now does it? And I look much prettier in the paper than a bunch of mug shots of idiots who didn’t even know how to work their cute lil’ magic goat buddy.” 

“Definitely, yeah,” Tim agrees wryly, steering him down a side hall towards the sounds of other people. Frankly he’s counting them lucky the goat didn’t try to start a magical apocalypse or something, given how their lives usually go. And also it was Metropolis, which sucks enough as it is. So like, of course the apocalypse would come from Metropolis, given the option and opportunity to. 

“I don't know much about art or whatever, you know,” Kon says a little bit awkwardly, peering down the hall towards the dimly-lit gallery ahead. “Like–that was not prioritized in the ‘how to be Superman’ educational package. Especially because it was written by committee by a bunch of people who I'm still pretty sure had never even met the guy. Like ever.” 

“You don't have to know anything about art to like it,” Tim says reasonably, resisting a vague urge to frown over the way Kon phrased that. Note to self, maybe. Just–for later, obviously. “But this isn't really that kind of exhibit.” 

“Isn't this an art museum?” Kon says with a puzzled frown. “What else is there?”

“It's a ‘multimedia experience primed to dazzle and delight all of the observer's senses’,” Tim recites wryly off the website copy he was reading earlier this week. “Also known as a sensory exhibit.” 

“A–what?” Kon wrinkles his nose in confusion.

[phantom-playdough]

Sun Wukong x GN!Reader: Overworked

Y/n was in class, listening to the lecture with a semi-bored expression. The professor was announcing a new group project and was going over all the ins and outs of the assignment, when Y/n was startled out of listening to the lecture from their phone buzzing like wild. It was clear that a certain someone was texting them at a rate so fast that Y/n's phone was vibrating at an almost constant rate.

They promptly excused themself from class and went into the bathroom to call their loving partner: Wukong.

"Hey, peaches! What are you doing right now?"

"I should be asking you that! I'm in class right now!" Y/n whisper-yelled into the phone.

"Then what are you doing on your phone?" Wukong asked teasingly. Y/n knew he was just pushing their buttons, but that didn't make it any less infuriating.

"I had to go to the bathroom just so I can answer my clingy boyfriend's messages. So, did you have something to actually say to me or are you just messing with me again?"

"Again?"

"Sun Wukong, I will hang up if you don't answer my question."

"UGH, fine! I was wondering if you wanted to come over to Flower Fruit Mountain after you get out of your boring class."

"It may be boring but it's also important. But to answer your question, I'm sorry but I can't. I just got a group project I have to start today."

Y/n didn't have the heart to hear his disappointed response, so they just hung up and turned text notifications off on their phone.

Once Y/n got home, it was already almost 10pm and they still had some homework to do before bed. The group assignment in one of their classes was already leaving a bad taste in their mouth because the group Y/n ended up in is filled with slackers and decision-dodgers. So, from the looks of things, Y/n was going to be the sole person doing any work in the group for that class assignment.

Eventually, the last paper was done for the night and Y/n crashed onto their bed. They were unable to sleep just yet because of the energy drinks and adrenaline of working so much, so Y/n just took their phone and checked to see if Wukong had texted them at all since their phone call prior in the day.

Nothing...

That did slightly concern Y/n. They glanced over at their calendar and knew that laying there speculating as to whether Wukong got busy himself or not would do nothing for them. So, Y/n instead decided to just fade to sleep.

The next few days practically were a blur to Y/n. Things were rather busy preparing for the group project being due the next week and tests and homework assignments thrown in for good measure to keep Y/n as busy as possible.

A couple times throughout the week, Wukong had reached out to Y/n to ask if they wanted to hang out. As much as they wanted to do just that, they told him that they just didn't have the time.

This unsettled Wukong a lot because he could tell they seemed tired in the few moments he got them on the phone. When Friday came along and they rebuffed him for what felt like the hundredth time, Wukong decided enough was enough.

Y/n was sitting at their computer desk, typing away at their group project that might as well have been called their project. But as they were finishing up the final report for it, they were snapped out of their thoughts by their phone ringing.

Y/n sighed as they checked both the time and the caller ID.

Sun Wukong, 1:58am

"Hello?"

"I knew it." Wukong said with disappointment clear in his voice.

"Knew what?"

"You're staying up late to finish your work, right?" He asked despite knowing the answer.

"No...?" Y/n kicked themself in the head mentally for that lame excuse of a reply.

Wukong sighed. "Alright, I'm coming over."

"Wait, what? But I-and you hung up..." Y/n said as they heard the call beep.

Sure enough, 20 minutes later, a knock at Y/n's window sounded throughout their apartment.

Y/n got up from their computer desk and let him in.

Wukong looked around, feeling unsettled by the mess of energy drinks and soda cans littering every surface, along with small snacks sitting at the computer desk.

Y/n began to walk past him to head back to said desk but Wukong knew where that would lead.

"No, no, no you don't." Wukong picked them up, ignoring their flailing.

"Wukong! Put me down! I'm almost done!!"

"Well, then if you're almost done, then you can finish your work tomorrow." He said, making a good point despite Y/n's efforts to think not.

"You've been working all week. I think your grades won't suffer that much if you take one night off." Wukong pointed out, placing them gently on their bed. When Y/n sat up, Wukong placed a hand on their shoulder, keeping them down. "Y/n. Get some sleep. It'll make you feel better than it would if you got a slightly better grade. I'll stay here with you if it helps."

Y/n knew they weren't getting out of this without sleeping. Plus, their eyes were starting to get heavy since the caffeine was wearing off. They let loose a small yawn. "Alright, Wukong. You win, now come over here and cuddle with me."

Wukong smiled sweetly. "Alright." He squeezed into bed with Y/n and the two of them cuddled till late into the next day.

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 9:

"Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days."

Polaroid | mistaken identity | "you're a liar."

Fandom: Sanders Sides (AU)

Prompts used: all

Oof this one took some creativity I didn't have lol, so pardon the names used. But welcome to Sanders sides superhero au, or rather, the aftermath of one. 

…

Virgil's early years were an amalgamation of too many things. He gets anxious just thinking about it, a past only a select few even knew about. Virgil's eyes glance over to his mantle- and what a world it is for him to have a fireplace mantle- where a picture frame sits face down. Some days he can look upon it with nostalgia and a small smile, other days he can't see the faces, only the things they'd had to do. 

He'd spent the last several years doing everything he hadn't been able to do then. Online classes galore, a normal job, a house, things so mundane and yet so freeing. He has a service cat- Ide is the only service cat he's ever heard of but she's special in more than one way so he supposes that makes sense- that helps him out in the day to day, to keep him from getting too overwhelmed. 

He's been doing good recently too. He can answer Patton's weekly phone calls on the second ring with minimal heart palpitations, and he'd even been considering going to their next meet up. 

He could already tell he'd never let himself live this down if he made it out. 

He'd decided to go out for coffee, there was a deal going on and it was spooky season and Virgil had woken up feeling okay. He'd get his coffee, take Patton's call when it came, and get some work done, it would be a good day. He should really know better than to jinx himself like that.��

He hadn't even made it to the coffee shop, had felt a shiver up his spine, couldn't even react before his head exploded with pain and his world dimmed. He thinks he sees Ide run off, hopes she's okay, before he can think of nothing at all. 

When Virgil was a kid- and that's what they were, they were kids- he and five other of the neighborhood children had been out late one night. Virgil hadn't really chosen to come, had been kicked out and dragged along by Remus, ever excited to explore in the dark. It had happened like a movie really, some bright light, a crash, the whole dramatic speech from some being from another planet- an Alien named Thomas of all things, though maybe that's just what it sounded like to their ears. 

Exposure to the crash had of course granted them powers. Powers they were expected to use to defend Earth again the foes that had followed Thomas. Virgil thinks the cosmic forces at play made the wrong choice, at least with him, but definitely for choosing kids. Still, for whatever reason, seeing the others put themselves in danger had stirred him the wrong way. He'd ended up fighting alongside them, it was rough but they'd somehow managed to survive. 

So why, after several years of no longer being some stinken 'super hero' and living a semi-normal life, is he being kidnapped!?

"I see you're awake. Took you long enough, Sandine." 

Ah… well frack. How the hell did this guy mix up Virgil with Thomas, Virgil is a complete mess. 

"Yes, I know who you are. You and your team may have disappeared, but the impact you made stayed, I haven't forgotten what you've done. And now, finally, I can make you pay!" 

Virgil almost wants to laugh, how ironic, the guy who fought only because he wanted to protect the others, is captured in place of one of them. What a world Virgil lives in. 

"I'm sure you're wondering how I figured it out." 

Damn, this dude had no idea how to do the villain thing, maybe Virgil is on a hidden camera show… one where head trauma is okay… so just an ameteur, Virgil could work with that, maybe. 

The guy begins to pace in front of the tank he'd put Virgil in- one he can only assume has adtonium in it to keep his powers at bay- gearing up for a long speech. Virgil squirms in his binding, robe burn be damned, as he glares in the general direction of his kidnapper,

"You see, you all were not nearly as secretive as you thought! My uncle, a mere henchmen, was able to capture this photo!" He produces an actual polaroid from his person, wrinkled from years of handling, and though Virgil can't see it super clear through the tank, the costumes on the three figures are familiar, "You were stupid enough to remove your masks, and now, I have you. The great Sandine, captured at last, with no little team to save you. Your life will end, your powers will be mine, and those who oppose me will fall one by one!" His laugh is too pitchy, his speech boring, but Virgil is a little impressed. To find, capture, and contain one of them is a feat, and to supposedly have the technology to steal a power, well it's intriguing at least. 

But he wont be getting the powers he thinks, and this guy will not be able to handle them in the slightest. But to do that, this guy needed to be convinced that Virgil was Thomas, so he should probably say something quippy and heroic…

"You're laugh sucks." Well… that was something at least. 

"I'm telling you Logan, he hasn't missed a call in ages!" Patton paces in the kitchen, piles upon piles of cookies filling the counters, phone pressed between shoulder and ear. 

"Patton, if you worry any more I will have to assume you are Virgil." 

"This is not a joking matter Logan, but good job." He turns to place another tray down to cool when he sees something at his window, "uh… Logan, remind me, am I allergic to all cats or are alien ones an exception?" He squints, trying to see familiar markings. 

"You know we have only met one alien animal, Patton so the results are inconclusive. However Ide was an exception, yes, why do you ask?" 

"Because Ide is at my window, without Virgil, and something is definitely wrong!" He rushes to said window, throwing it open as Ide limps his way through, nerves twist his gut up like only a friend in danger can as the cat meows loudly. "Logan. Call the others." There's no room for argument in Patton's voice as he hangs up, something happened to Virgil. 

"Just a few more adjustments and we'll test this baby out!" 

"Wow, how embarrassing for you." 

"Stop that! Gah, how the press thought you were an angel with that much snark I'll never know!" 

"You just bring out the worst in me." 

Virgil's wrists ache something terrible, rope having cut into skin at this point and he supposes he should be glad his jacket was taken from him before all this lest it be ruined now. He's eyeing the cliche laser gun above him, then the little drains in the floor and wondering idly if he expects a mess or if they'll be draining into his tank rather than out. 

"Soon, I'll know the secrets of the galaxy, and you'll be dust beneath my boots!" 

Wow, this guy thought Thomas knew everything? He'd be flattered sure, but he was far from omnipotent. And Virgil questions everything, even the things that don't need to be questioned! 

"You want to know stuff? Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days. There's always something more, something lurking, if you knew everything your head would literally explode, and you're not allowed to do that without The Duke here." 

"You're a liar, you just want to keep everything to yourself!"

Virgil could correct him, after all Janus was the one with the whole lying schtick. Had to do with his powers and stuff of course, but even before that he was known to lie in stressful situations. His defense as it was, and one that Virgil had taken too long to realize. 

"It doesn't matter anyway, it's ready, say goodbye Sandine!" 

The lazer lights up as bubbling liquid fills in from below and he hates when he's right, his struggles renew as he finally lets his panic, well panic. The feeling he'd been ignoring, that emptiness that had been dragging him down, is ten times worse now- except… It's fading now. That idiot, did he… turn off the thing keeping his powers at bay? 

"You want my powers?" Virgil's wrists finally slide free, smeared with red, purple and black mist swirls around him for the first time in a long time, "Here ya go." 

"Wait. That's not-" 

The lazer goes off, the liquid makes his feet slip, the tank explodes as his powers fill the room with his scream of agony. Trying desperately to find the threat, unable to flee, searching for what to fight, the man screams in terror, but Virgil barely hears it over his own. The machine ignites in a fiery mess, the lazer dying out, but as Virgil slumps his powers stutter. 

The man lifts shaking hands, wild eyes flitting around the room, the gun in his hand goes off and Virgil's powers shrink until they fold into that place within him, pounding against an invisible wall, the emptiness returns tenfold and with no resistance drags him down. His ankles, still tied to the chair, twist uncomfortable as the thing tumbles sideways with him. The bubbling liquid burns but he can't seem to move, a glow has his eyes lowering, and there, embedded in his shoulder, just barely above his heart, is the gray space stone adtonium. 

Huh… guess this is how it goes down. Nothing to hear but the mad ramblings of an unstable villain wannabe, skin burning, chest aching, and powers locked away, alone. 

At least it wasn't Thomas… or any of the others…

"Virgil! Is he okay!?" 

"M'fine."

"What a shitshow, Nightmare." 

"Everything will be dreadful soon, Vee. We won't be handling the rest, so do worry."  

"Mkay… 'ake a nap now…" 

"Virgil don't you dare!" 

"Just hang in there buddy!"

"We'll get you home safe stormcloud."

"Please remain still Virgil, this will only hurt for a moment." 

"Falsehood." Virgil's eyes close, he yells at the yanking, and the sudden burst of powers freed, and thinks this was a positively dreadful day. 

But it could have been worse.

[chaoxfix]

🕯️🪄🌻 for the meme!

ty for the ask!! <3

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

ahh... hmm. i like putting out the energy i want back. if i read something i try to comment, and if i dont like something or am not interested in the concept, i just dont react because it's so much worse to upset someone over something they worked hard on.

i really don't think kudos are a very good expression of appreciation, as it has almost no room for real connection. fics are free, you know? when something is free but gives you joy, you should probably meet it with love, and love in a way that really shows why you like it. thats why i think comments are much better. i get why it can cause anxiety, but there's really no wrong way to comment unless youre 1) being an honest to god jerk, 2) pointing out something you dislike / something that you think the author was "incorrect" about (especially if the commenter is the one whos wrong lmao. either way i really dont think free fanfiction is like. lol. the place to do public criticism. just saying.)

im a rather anxious person irl, so im not really sure exactly what every single other anxious person's obstacles are or how to bridge them. because of that, i won't try to give universal advice since it's something i cant be an expert on if my experience is so different.

but i will say, for myself -- i mitigate my anxiety by practicing gratitude. i weaponize my people-pleasing for good by trying to be someone who makes other people feel genuinely good. and there's nothing better than feeling appreciated and praised for things that have value. and that kind of thing usually comes back around.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

ahh... hmmm...

if it's late at night (after midnight) when i post it, i go to sleep so i wont stay up refreshing the page to see what people say, or worse stay up editing all the typos that "suddenly appear" in ao3 formatting lol. that way even if no one reads it overnight or there are errors, it's okay because at least i can face the day with some sleep.

if it's not late at night when i post it, i try to go for a walk to again avoid constantly refreshing the page for feedback or immediately editing it. bc its not super healthy to spend even more time on it after whats probably been hours and hours, and i dont want my entire day fixated on something i should be done with.

i dont really celebrate much though, probably because i just kind of expect myself to make things of a quality i can stand behind. i didnt really grow up getting praised despite being an overachiever bc it made others around me feel bad when i got a lot . . . so i. have to really try and make something worthy of praise to feel like i deserve it. idk. haha. so anyways overall i try to lean more and more into 'i dont need validation' because id hate to put all my eggs in that basket -- not just because i dont want to be motivated by others' praise, but also because, i dont want to stop writing for the opposite reason, if someday i no longer feel like the quality of work i produced actually deserved the amount of feedback it got.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

low motivation for long stretches, and losing interest in the things others like best, make me want to stop writing. both with fandom and original. low motivation usually coincides with depressive stints for me, and it makes me feel awful. like i cant do the one thing i like best, because i just can't motivate myself. when i finally manage it, it's crap for the first thousand words, then it gets better.

for me though, what makes me keep going is getting others to see my vision. getting them to feel what i aim to make them feel; crafting stories that, maybe theyre not perfect, but the emotions they generate are enough. it really is hard without an audience. even though i'm not motivated as much by getting a ton of validation, i do need at least a little lol, even just someone to say "yes. i see you. i understand what you needed me to feel from this, and i felt it." which is why i have original writing friends as well, for original stuff.

buuut also, i also keep going because i like being able to jot down what im thinking/imagining so that i can revisit it later and go back to that feeling, that moment in time where i was absolutely positive of that scene

thank you again for asking!! ^^

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Hi! First off welcome to the mxtx fandom! Second, i absolutely adore that hualian lady and the tramp au fic! Cutest name for an au, and id love to hear some more about this au if you have some additional thoughts!

Thank you so much, thats so lovely of you to say!! I'd Love to talk about this AU honestly and as always huge amount of credit goes to @minky-for-short as basically every single Hualian AU I have is also hers :')

So the way I envision this modern AU working is that rather than being royalty, Xie Lian's family is very rich and his father is the head of a mega corporation that their family have been building up for a long time, called the Xianle Corporation. So Xie Lian is high society and has a lot of the same pressures and weighty expectations on him that he experiences in canon

Xie Lian came out as trans when he was about eighteen (mostly because he thought if the worst came to the absolute worst he'd have his trust fund and his mother wouldn't let his father freeze it). And his father certainly wasn't happy about it but Xie Lian is very close to his mother and she did a lot of the smoothing over, frightened of losing her son. It helped that Xie Lian was a straight A student, getting into the best universities and making sure he was the perfect child, as far as his parent's definition went. His father allowed him to present as he wanted and start HRT and get top surgery and change his name. But now Xie Lian is terrified of letting him down because he can just feel that sense of disappointment and resentment looming over him and he's really starting to chafe against his father

He meets San Lang after meeting him in an alley, seeing him getting attacked by some older kids. Xie Lian didn't hesitate to run in and help him, despite the fact that they'd still be outnumbered. San Lang is hugely grateful for him helping though he's evasive about Why exactly they were attacking him. He offers to buy Xie Lian a drink in thanks, then a coffee when Xie Lian admits he doesn't drink. They spend the whole time chatting and getting to know each other, so long that Xie Lian has to run off home when he realises he's late. Though he leaves San Lang with his number

Feng Xin and Mu Quing are instantly cautious when they hear about this new friend Xie Lian has found and after some digging they tell him why, the young man is Hua Cheng, an up and comer in the seedier business that goes on in the city. He's currently climbing the ladder at the famous Ghost City Casino which is known for its owners being all but criminal gang leaders. They warn Xie Lian to stay away but he's not so sure San Lang is all that dangerous? But it does teach him not to tell his parents about his new friend

Their friendship shifts to something more when San Lang steals Xie Lian away from his parents New Years party which is just a networking event. He takes him to the Ghost City casino for the first time, up to the roof where San Lang likes to come and sit on his breaks and as the fireworks go off from his parent's manor up on the hill, Xie Lian kisses him.

I think it all falls apart when his parents find out about Hua Cheng and his father is up waiting to confront him along with police officers as they're sneaking back in. Xie Lian doesn't hesitate, he just kisses Hua Cheng and tells him to run, jumping out of the car and letting Hua Cheng drive away.

I'm also considering it might be further complicated by Xie Lian realising one of the Hualian kids I have in my AUs is on the way...

But things all come to good when Xie Lian stands up to his father and tells him that he's done living a life he isn't happy with, he doesn't want to follow him, he wants to be happy and be with Hua Cheng. His mother stands on his side and they end up living happily ever after in a tiny little apartment, Xie Lian teaching martial arts to kids and Hua Cheng still...well still being kind of a criminal but he's hiding it pretty well

[potatocockoli]

January 10, 2023

Love is sticking your fingers down the throat of the problem 

And saying it shouldn’t have to be a special occasion 

it should be as soon as you wake up and I want to wake up next to every part of you and i want the worst ones poured into the cup on my bedside table and i forgot how stale it would be but its you and me and you in me and id rather half empty spilled down my shirt then nothing at all

Please don’t say it back because I don’t think I could take it right now

No don’t do that to make me feel better I don’t need it you do

It’s fleeting 

Speak up

I didn’t listen because you didn’t mean it 

Everyday is a holiday because i make it so and everything does mean everything if you let it and everything is sacred if you want it dont tell me it doesnt matter because i need it to and you need it too if you want her to stay

If traditions start somewhere, this is mine, to say the things I mean when I mean them, without protest or hesitation or a god damn snicker from lashes in the corner of my eyes that sneak in at the most annoyingly convenient times

Yes this is my moment actually and I will not feel ashamed of that, because I’ll never be here again. 

It’s mine it’s yours it’s ours but this is how I am in it how I will be in it and i just wanted to let you know

How I need to be 

And I need you to understand that this is it, it’s all I have left, and see it’s already gone it’s already gone and I can’t get it back.

Why are you still talking it’s gone it’s gone it’s gone it’s gone and he’s never coming back.

So yes I will stand here and say that the green matches just right because she is the only one who sees it too, that I am me and you are you and we’re here and now no we’re not it’s gone now keep up keep up the lights dim and the color fades but

We’re never coming back so i need to meld to it even if its just a staple i bent when i needed something to do with my hands and she’s not looking at me anymore and i love that about her but only when shes with me and I forgot im sorry let me go back through the wardrobe and tie the scarves around my neck and he changed the fucking song and he’s falling asleep and I’m walking out the door but why can’t you just fucking ask me to stay im never coming back again until tomorrow exit stage left

off screen in a dream he says I want you to stay

Well yeah I want to stay here too she flickers the light from her bedroom two houses too late

its too late but im In it

i say i want to stay

in it

Tuck me into the couch and pull me back in it

I’m falling through the cracks in the couch and in the silent moments you think I can’t see through 

Under your skin and into you

Smell like you

I fucking am you

And we’ve been here before but it’s not here it’s there tucked away with the gum wrappers and the coins and napkins barely hanging onto the crutch that lies within the cracks of the couch cushions

And you spend all night looking for the remote you think is hiding with them because you need something to hold in your hands

But I’m right here 

I need to be 

Hey guess what 

Wait no what were you going to say?

Oh I lost it it’s gone and we’re not even here anymore.

It doesn’t matter anymore because now we’re here and not there

And it’s never coming back

And I’ll never be her again

She’s never coming back

He’s never fucking coming back

And I can’t come back from that

And it’s not me anymore 

We’re not even here anymore it’s gone

Car window down and my hair is in my face and I feel beautiful for the first time in my life

Can you just shut the fuck up and let the song play please I’m begging you

No shut up shut up shut up you’re ruining it

It’s gone

The song is done it’s gone and no we can’t play it again because it’s not right it’s not right it’s not right

I just wanted to do it right why did you have to ruin it it would have been perfect

My hair is in my mouth so I don’t say anything 

It doesn’t matter it’s okay it’s just gone and he’s never coming back 

We’re never coming back

It’s never coming back

Where were you?

Where’d you go?

Where did you go just now?

Was thinking

Thinking what

Oh too much too much too much

Past or present or future

Past

Taylor let it go

Let go

Let go

Let go

So we can move

On 

So I can move on from watching you moving on 

Taylor please

Parts of me boxed up like the day care jigsaw puzzle

There are parts of you I’ll never get to be and parts of me for rent on the street

Why couldn’t you have left me warmer clothes 

I reach for you and hope you grasp back 

But it’s fucking winter and I can’t wait

So I shiver in sweat at 3AM and pretend it’s okay that you’re not here and you didn’t write down that I get to keep the fucking sweater that never even existed 

And maybe we didn’t either 

If you were here would you be able to let go of her? They barely can

Taylor be nimble taylor be quick

Taylor be 

Would you even like me? Probably not but I also wouldn’t be this if you were still here or maybe I would or maybe I would be yours or maybe I’d be dead instead of you or maybe I wouldn’t be at all nothing at all 

I want to be nothing at all 

I want to be a bird in the night 

Softly soaring without a sound 

Looking down at fucking nothing 

But you know it’s not true 

Because I look at her and I think 

Why does god let me be here right now right here

I look at her and I am full 

Of nothing 

And that’ s why I’m Episcopalian 

That’s why I’m a pescatarian 

[acedomkarl]

knucklehead asked: dt3am getting tense bc they’d originally planned to meet w k4rl in paris but now he can’t make it. it’s been too long since he’s been w them, and they’re already running out of the brain power it takes to keep their dynamics running in a functional way. kinda like your last lifestyle bdsm fic, grg is struggling to maintain his dynamic w dn because it’s more difficult to get direction from k4rl, he’s not been able to bottom for a while since k4rl hasn’t been there. drm hasn’t been getting his spanks and doing his chores isn’t as effective since k4rl isn’t there to implement it and grg doesn’t really get it so he doesn’t care enough to follow up on if he’s done it. s4p is struggling w/o his emotional support, it’s not the same going to d/nf for his cuddles etc, grg plays around too much with pretending he hates it so he gets too far in his own head and decides to leave him alone as soon as grg starts trying to push him off, drm is always tense with wanting to keep working and missing k4rl so even when they cuddle he feels like drm would rather be doing smth else. and the sex is just as off balance. k4rl announcing he isn’t going to be in paris is like a tipping point. grg feels like he’s losing his grip as a dom and can’t bring himself to do punishments and stay in charge so he becomes more and more agitated. he keeps doing things hoping that dn will report back to k4rl so that he can be punished, even though it’d have to be over the phone, at least it’s something, so he teases the other two more, starting snippy little arguments in public w s4p knowing the other can’t do anything about it, and gets touchier with drm whenever he’s busy and can’t follow up on what he’s starting. drm gets snappy because his brain feels like it’s all over the place and the other two struggling with their own problems keeps adding to the constant static in his head. everything’s confusing, he’s on the move all day with the convention and doesn’t get a minute to calm down, and when he does his boyfriends are making it difficult to relax and now he’s lashing out. s4p is withdrawing gradually, he’s not getting comfort as often, especially not the way k4rl does it so he eventually stops chasing it and sticks to keeping himself busy with meeting fans and then once everythings done he goes to his room and doesnt leave until he has to. i had an idea for how k4rl would fix the issue with a late surprise visit to paris without telling his boyfriends he’s going, but i ran out of brain power for it and forgot what i’d originally thought but ive also already typed all that so have my usual not even half baked brainrot IDK WHAT THIS IS IGNORE IT IF YOU WANT ITS LITERALLY NOTHING LMAOO -🐙

no no no no no this is so good FUCK i have to go to work but if this was a fic id make them go to nc before back to florida and stay in k4rls house for a week or two while he works just being in his space waiting for him to come home and handle all of them and k4rl isnt really as strung out as he usually is because he got a kind of vacation from not going to paris so he's like. in a good headspace and is caught up on his obligations so first of all he gets dr34mn4p cuddled up in his bed and then takes g30rg3 into the living room and fucks his mouth with his fingers while he sits in his lap. g30rg3 just shuts his eyes and grips k4rls wrist holding the fingers in his mouth and tasting the silver of the rings and k4rl's skin and he just sits like that moving his tongue and nibbling for a while as k4rl mumbles in his ear that he did so well while they were apart and he's gonna fuck him really nice and hard tonight after he talks to s4pn4p and gives dr34m some spanks and g30rg3 is just bobbing his head totally gone from the second he saw k4rl. its like he saw his dom and his brain went 'safe' and turned off, so he gets care first. sorry if this is scattered i literally need to be out the door BUT I LOVE THIS SO FEEL FREE TO KEEP GOING AND ILL EITHER ANSWER LATER OR JUST SPAM WITH TY ANON

[monday3econlive]

Trade-Offs & Opportunity Cost In my Daily Life

Marvin Mendiola

Discussion: Monday 3:00-3:50

Student ID: 46984860

What is opportunity cost?

Opportunity cost is the expense of giving up the next best option while making a choice. In other words, it is the price associated with selecting one option over another and sacrificing the possible advantages of the alternative option. 

Example: Making the choice to buy a new car rather than investing your money in stocks is an example of opportunity cost. The potential earnings you could have made on the stock market in this scenario if you had invested your money rather than using it to buy a car is known as the opportunity cost. Instead, the opportunity cost would be the pleasure and convenience you would have received from investing your money in the stock market rather than owning a new car. 

How is opportunity cost present in my everyday life?

Everyone in the world faces opportunity costs in their everyday life even if it’s choosing what to eat or deciding whether or not you want to take a nap. I myself face opportunity costs as soon as I wake up in the morning as I have to decide whether or not to wake up to my alarm or sleep in some more. As a result of making this decision I could give up one option and have a different outcome. For instance, if I decide to wake up on time I could be productive with the time and get some homework done, or pretty much anything else I want to do with that time. However, if I decide to ignore my alarm and keep sleeping I give up that time I could’ve spent doing something productive which is the opportunity cost. 

After I wake up I get ready and make even more decisions such as what I’m going to wear or even smaller things like what cologne I will use. These are all opportunity costs that are created as I have the opportunity to choose between different options. Following my morning shower I can choose to go eat breakfast at the Anteatery or do some work before I head to my mandatory discussion at 11am. The discussion is mandatory for points so the opportunity cost for this decision has a lot of impact. The opportunity cost of not attending the discussion is losing points which will affect my grade negatively and I will not have knowledge of what was discussed during the discussion. Due to this trade off it is very obvious what decision I make, which is go to class, because if I don’t I’m affected negatively. 

After my 11am discussion I start walking back to mesa court to get lunch for the day. During lunch I have many decisions to make and opportunity costs that go along with eating such as what I’m going to eat and how much. I could choose to eat a healthy meal and track my calories which will benefit my body positively or eat whatever I want to without tracking leading to me gaining weight. After lunch I usually head to the gym for about two hours. Here I have the decision of getting ready and going to workout at the arc, or staying at my dorm and taking a nap. The opportunity cost of staying in and taking a nap, is losing fitness progress that could’ve been made if I want to workout. After I come back from the gym which is usually around 6pm I go to the anteatery again for dinner and I pretty much make the same decisions with the same opportunity costs as I did for breakfast/lunch. The time I have after dinner is pretty much my free time so I could choose what I want to do with that time and make decisions that involve different tradeoffs. I could decide to study for classes and catch up on my homework, or I could enjoy the free time and pleasure of doing something such as watching a movie/hanging out with friends. I also have to make the decision of what time I go to sleep which involves several opportunity costs. Say I decide to go to sleep rather early, I wake up in the morning with more energy and most likely earlier. However, if I decide to sleep late like let’s say around 3am, I only get 6 hours of sleep causing me to wake up tired in the morning. 

Opportunity Cost Poem

Every morning when I wake,

Opportunities I have to make.

To hit snooze or get up on time,

To be productive or press rewind.

Each choice I make has a cost,

A trade-off, a line I've crossed.

To skip breakfast or track my meals,

To hit the gym or catch some feels.

At every turn, there's a choice,

To listen to my inner voice.

To study hard or have some fun,

To go to bed or stay up 'til dawn.

Each opportunity comes with a price,

A decision made, a roll of the dice.

To gain or lose, to win or fail,

To choose my path or hit the rail.

So every day, I weigh my options,

And choose a path that's free of toxins.

To live my life with purpose and care,

And make the most of the time I share.

[sawqeve]

this is an apology and a confession

to my second

if love was a candle hatred would be dumpster fire and if i was less angry maybe i wouldn’t be made out of knives.

that night, i curled up in my bathtub and tried to cry but nothing came out. instead, a sick, sick sadness thicker and darker than tar dripped out of all my pores and swallowed me whole. the thought of being forgotten stops my heart for a moment but i hope you do because i know what its like to have my heart split into two and i hate that my fist is the hammer. destruction is safer, a mother and a friend, persistent and omnipresent. ill come back again and again and each time it will cradle me softly. welcome home, it says. 

i’m not very good at swimming but if there was a category for drowning i’d take first place because i’ve been drowning this whole time. oh, but i didn’t know you would drown with me too. its not that im not loved im just not loved by you and that hurts the most. i would’ve given you all the stars in the heavens but i don’t know if you’d do that for me too. i fucked a 26 year old a week before my seventeeth birthday not because it felt good, but because i had to destroy my heart before it killed me first. there is a gun and one bullet and my finger is on the trigger but i didn’t know you were standing right behind me. oh, you were too close. this hatred in my hands is so heavy and its starting to feel less like concrete and more like a blanket. so hate me, hate me with all your might, because it was never yours and i want it back. i smell like blood and cigarettes and there is a fire in my stomach and ice in my arteries. i have gone mad and its all my fault.

this is a love poem, a love eternal and lost. this is me saying im sorry, im sorry, but it’s too late anyways. i thought i burned too much of myself that my heart had disappeared. i found it again recently and now i know its real because, oh my, it hurts. nothing unreal can hurt this much. i held too much power i think, a god indeed. i need to be destroyed. i want to tell you that that wasn’t me but im afraid that isn’t true. im terrified that monster was my truest form. i wanted to prove that i didn’t deserve you, and now that i’ve gone and done it i don’t know what to do. 

i have this love now but its too much— its too gentle and kind and soft and i only know bruised knuckles and bloodied knees. i am healing but im scared of heights so id rather stay at the bottom of this deep dark pit. i am so so scared that i’m gonna destroy this one too because i only know destruction. im sorry i destroyed you too. i never meant it. i am a monster who implodes; i wake up and kill myself then wake up again. it wasn’t supposed to be you. all i want is to ask how your day was and if you’ve eaten enough and if you’re still happy. all i want is feel your lips on mine but i’m glad im not because i dont deserve it. i hate myself for existing and i hate myself for hurting you and i hate myself even more for missing you. i’m sorry and i’m sorry and i’m sorry. this is a love poem though i know it doesn’t sound like it. i don’t know if i loved you or if i’m just mad but my heart and my head aches too much for it to not have been something. i’ve known you since the very first day and i’ll know you until the last but i wish you were mine for a little longer. i hope you are happy and i hope you don’t care about me at all. i hope i have not started a fire within you because the only thing worse than being a monster is creating one. there is so much hatred and anger and sadness in my heart and i don’t know where to put it all. if yours ever gets too heavy to handle, give it to me. i want it all. because if i can’t hold your hand at least ill hold your heart, and ill take away all the weight. i wish i never met you in the best way possible because then i would’ve never known what your touch was like or how you made me feel or how you’d tell me i was beautiful. i wish i never met you because i wouldn’t have to miss you.

drunk actions are sober thoughts so alchohol makes me feel so real, so alive. i need to let you go but i don’t know if i can. i’ve killed myself over and over and this is the worst way, so sometimes i wish i didn’t get up and the pills worked. you weren’t supposed to care as much as i did so every night i pray that i meant nothing to you because it eases my conscience. and that is selfish, i know, and you only hate me because you’ve understood that a devil wrapped in silk is still a devil. i thought i knew hell until know, but hell isnt hell if you like the way it burns. i promise it was a last act of love except it came out so horribly wretched, just like me. i want to be soft again, to be kind again. you’ve gotten prettier since i last saw you and i hope that glow is from my absence. this pain is so raw that i am sure i am human. how do i be human without destroying? or is that the human condition? kill or be killed i’d take the latter because i’m selfish. i am cruel because ive never known kindness. i can’t be loved so i must be feared. i left so you couldn’t leave me first but now i wish you did. 

——

im still angry at you, and it comes up in waves. i still regret being so cruel but my god, the rage. sometimes ill wonder where that rage came from but i saw you today, sad, and i felt it again. i posted with my boyfriend and though i blocked you, word probably got around anyways. and i hope its not because of me but if it is, where was this attitude when we were together? 

——

the last thing ill write about you

even if i want to, i wont. because i moved on. because i chose to. i remember how much my breakup with my first hurt, and i know this doesn’t even compare. but what’s worse about this is that i don’t know.. anything. even in denial, i knew my first and i were done for good, that it would never work out. with us, i don’t know if that is true because i poured gasoline on the bridge and set it aflame. ive never been on this side of things, you know. ive always been the one left behind, the one who was just a lesson for the other to grow. and now you are my lesson, but oh, it hurts. i don’t know if you still like me or if you hate me or if you don’t care at all. and i think that kills me, but im not sure if i even want to know. what would i do if you still liked me? would i feel better if you hated me or didn’t care at all? i still wonder what you’re up to, if you’re okay. i still know you, and i don’t want to anymore. i still know what you like and i know what you need and i know how you thought of me. how do you think of me now? hurting others is so much worse than being hurt, and maybe this proves that im human, but my god what a dreadful existence it is. i wont let my anger take control of me again and i wont allow others to drown with me too. i’ll communicate better and be more aware of which is me and which is not, because i know i truly am not like that. im just sorry i had to learn that from you. my cruelty is a part of me i hate, things i don’t want to be a part of me. i don’t want to be filled with hate or regret or anger anymore. so ill have to avoid you for a bit, because out of mind and out of sight. i wish i met you at a different time, and i wish i was a better person. so violently neurotic i am, and so nonchalant you seem. were we ever going to work out? the answer has to be no, because i know no other way. the very worst part is i fall too easily, and i could feel myself falling for you at one point. with my first, i fell hard and cracked my skull, broke all the bones in my body. but once i hit the ground, i could get up and walk again. with you, i’ll never land. when does this feeling go away? why does my loneliness turn its head to you? i feel like a monster and a terrorist but i know i should anyways. i hope i’ll forget you soon. i hope someday my heart wont jump out of my chest when i see you, but honestly, its never been that way. since the first day, its been this way. i punish myself enough, don’t i? i want to be gentle and kind and soft again, but im not sure if i ever was. its goodbye then, forever. i guess this is closure enough, to kill all the hope that remains. ill forget about you, i promise. 

[lysa1201-saucy]

Don’t Read A Book In Abyssal At 3 AM! (Not Clickbait)(Emotional)(Gone Sexual) - Lucifer x F!Reader (Part 4)

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3

Read Chapters Early on my Patreon!! Chapter 5 is currently up! Also includes NSFW art uncensored!! <;33

Lmk if you wanna be added to the tag list!! Thank you for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments appreciated!

This story will contain sexual themes and smut in the future, which is why it is being posted onto my 18+ account rather than my SFW account. Thank you <33

Genre: Comedy, Romance (Fluff + Smut), Angst

Warnings: None (that I know of, lmk if there is thanks)

Word Count: 1505

++++

Lucifer had been living in your apartment with you for around two weeks. You two had gotten used to each other and the dynamic you had created. You would check out books he wanted to study more intently for him since Lucifer had no ID to do so himself, and he’d stay at home working through what he needed and taking notes when he could.

Every weekday for work, you would get up at 6:30 am, which you found disgusting, and start your morning routine. However, now that Lucifer had arrived, you added him to your practice. He wasn’t a morning demon, but he wanted the time to get as much research done as quickly as possible.

“Here you go,” You put down the black coffee on a coaster on the coffee table, he was leaning over to read.

“Thank you,” Lucifer would recognize your kindness. He was still very questionable about you, but he got used to the routine and appreciated your hospitality. He would go as far as saying he tolerated you. “So what I figured out about the spell you used is that it only brought me, but I’m still unsure how Solomon was able to contact you.”

“Do you think Barbatos had anything to do with it?” You asked the demon, sitting behind him on the couch. You were already dressed for work and had your coffee in hand, so you had some time to spare to theorize with Lucifer.

Lucifer hummed. “Most definitely,”

You continued to read with him for another couple of minutes, occasionally asking for some translations you didn’t quite understand, but it was finally time to leave for work. “Okay, I’ll be back at 5 pm, as always,”

“I’m not a child. You do not need to remind me this every single work day,”

“I know that; I just worry about you,”

“And why’s that?” He turns on the couch by resting his arm across it to face you. He raises an eyebrow at you in question.

You groan and roll your eyes. “You don’t have a phone, so I can’t contact you, and you can’t do anything else. So you’re holed up here, and I feel bad about it. So I want you to know I’ll be back, you know?”

Lucifer let out a deep breath. “Sure,” He turned back to face the papers in front of him. “Enjoy work.”

He didn’t want you to know, but he felt nice that you cared.

++++

“Lucifer!” You shouted as soon as you entered your living room.

Your apartment was tiny, and you opened the door to the living room when you entered it, so he was very annoyed with your entrance. “What?” Lucifer spat out with annoyance.

You plopped on the couch next to him to place a laptop on the coffee table. “My laptop was fixed, so now we can use it for more research!” You excitedly explained. “I know some good websites with other spells and where I learned some abyssal. So I can open up those tabs and look through those while you look through the books.”

Lucifer just nodded. He looked tired. Very tired. And he was disappointed. He wanted to be home, and you wanted to take him home. You thought having one of your “demon boyfriends” in your actual life would be a dream, yet you feel nothing but guilt and sadness.

The rest of the night was silent, but you yawned loudly. Finally, you uttered a small apology and returned to your research when Lucifer raised his hand. “Go to bed,” Lucifer proposed.

“No, it’s fine. I want to help you,”

“You won’t be much help if you’re falling asleep,” He stated without taking his eyes off the books in front of him.

You sighed and nodded. “I’ll leave the tabs open. Don’t stay up too late.”

It was probably past midnight already, but that was fine by Lucifer because it was the weekend, so he didn’t need to force himself to wake up too early anyway. So he allowed himself to sleep in just a bit more since you did.

It wasn’t until Lucifer finally decided to use the laptop you provided that he found something he wished he didn’t. He was going through what he needed to until he misclicked and opened up a tab to one of your bookmarks. It would have been less embarrassing if it was the bookmark to one of the sites you go to for your bills, but to your luck, it was to a dating website. Even worse, you were logged in.

Lucifer went to exit out of the tab until he realized he was on your profile. He should have looked away, and he wanted to look away. A little peek wouldn’t hurt. He is living with you, and you hadn’t had time to sit down and get to know each other, so it’s not wrong to look at your answers.

That’s what Lucifer did. He scrolled through your profile and looked at some of your answers and pictures. He would sometimes let a puff of air out of his nose from a silent chuckle at some of your attempts at being approachable. It was kind of cute, though. Even with your writing, he could tell you were a kind and honorable person, and from knowing you for the past two weeks, he could confirm that’s what you were.

He couldn’t deny that the pictures you chose for your profile were phenomenal. Some photos were on vacations, regular candids, and just casual mirror selfies. You were so adorable. He didn’t want to think about you like that, but how could he deny it? He liked learning about you more than he would like to admit. Your favorite color, your favorite memory, your favorite food, your favorite type of animal, all of it intrigued him. Maybe you weren’t alike in every way, but it’s always good to have someone even a little different than you.

He noticed you had a message box, so he snooped a little more and checked. There were some messages that you never replied to. He shouldn’t have clicked on them, but he did.

Some upset him slightly from how different people treated you. For example, they were only looking for sex, and it wasn’t something you were looking for. On the other hand, he would occasionally feel nice at how sweet you were to certain people. But then, there was a weird pang of jealousy when you and another seemed to hit it off, plan a date, or even a second date.

MC: I would love to see you again. I enjoyed our time together.

Jensen: I did too. Plan something for next week? Can I take you out to dinner next Saturday maybe? 8 pm?

MC: I’d love that.

He would read your messages up to the next date, making him feel slightly angry with how flirty you two were with each other. Then, he would scoff at the lines that man told you, thinking he could do better. Lucifer prided himself on making whoever he was flirting with flustered, and he was sure he could fluster you more than that man ever could.

MC: I’m ready :)

MC: Jensen? We’re still meeting up today, right?

MC: It’s okay if you’re running late, just hope to get an update! I’m worried about you :(

MC: Hello?

MC: It’s 8:30 pm. I’m tired of waiting.

MC: I’m wearing a cute dress and prepared my makeup for this fancy dinner we planned. Please don’t stand me up.

MC: It’s 9 pm. Please answer me.

Jensen: I’m sorry.

MC: It’s 10 pm. Now you respond?

Jensen: I uh

Jensen: I met someone else, and they came over. I forgot about our date. And I think I want to keep seeing them. I’m sorry.

This user can no longer message you.

Lucifer felt sad that you got stood up, though he felt pride because you chose to block him instead of trying to fix something you couldn’t. You’re stronger than he initially thought you were. You knew how to stand your ground. Those messages were about two months ago, and since then, it appeared that you refused to mingle with anyone else. Leaving them on read or just not opening the messages they sent trying to get a hold of you. Jensen hurt you a lot, didn’t he?

That’s when he finally snapped back into reality and decided to close the tab. It was 1:30 am. He decided it was time to go to bed. Lucifer couldn’t stop thinking about you, though. Your words, your flirting, your pictures, everything about you. It was stuck in his head, how magnificent you are. He was disgusted with himself for thinking that way about some human that took him away from his loved ones. Yet, he couldn’t get you out of his head.

Lucifer told himself that after a good night's sleep, he would wake up and stop thinking about you.

He was wrong.

++++

Tag List: @sassykattery , @dfgdfgxftdd , @karmasadistic69

Next Part

[idy-ll-ique]

My Little Secret.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Innocent!F!Reader

Genre : Fluff, little bit of Angst

Warnings: none

Requested: nope

Summary: Y/N listens to music 24/7 on Spotify. At first Ransom is irritated, but now he knows just how to use the application to his benefit. I mean, come on, it can't be considered stalking if it's his wife, right?

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! oml a ransom drysdale fanfiction 😳 if I ever meet this asshole in real life I'd sock him in the jaw but in fiction? mamma mia. enjoy!

---

Does she really love an app more than me?

Ransom scoffed to himself as he opened his laptop, clicking on the music app, Spotify. He rarely used it, but his wife was obsessed with it. She listened to music 24/7; singing along to the soft tunes in her playlists while working, reading, cleaning, cooking, anything. Ransom thought it was insane how submerged she was in the activity.

Until that activity gave him an upper-hand in their relationship.

When he had first opened the app on his laptop, he was a tad bit surprised at the "Friends Activity" feature. He saw her account. Then, as more months passed, he started noticing how when she was happy, she'd always be listening to some happy playlist, when she was sad she'd be listening to sad songs, et cetera. And he started using it to his advantage.

Now, everyday before leaving his office he'd check the app to see what playlist she was listening to. If it was a happy, dance playlist, well and fine. But a sad one? Ransom's mood would also sour because my darling is not feeling okay. While going home, he'd buy something for her; mostly flowers or chocolates, or a nice little trinket that he'd find in the displays of shops that he thought his wife would enjoy.

He never told her about it. What he was doing would be considered stalking but come on, is it stalking if she's your wife? As the app finally loaded, his eyes immediately strayed to the Friends Activity and his heart clenched when he saw her listening to her sad playlist that she had named Melancholy. Sighing, he turned off the laptop and left his office for the night.

As he drove back home, he stopped outside a flower shop and bought an adorable little bouquet of mixed flowers. "She'll love it," the florist assured him, assuming he was buying it for his significant other. He gave her a quick smile and got back into the car, driving home as fast as he could. When he reached home, his heart broke at the sniffle he heard.

"Kitten?" Y/N's head shot up at her husband's voice as she hurriedly wiped her tears, getting up from her spot on the couch. "Hi, welcome home," she whispered, giving him a quick peck on the lips, smiling widely to avoid being caught. "Hello, how was your day?" He wanted to sigh, to chide her for keeping her bad mood from him, but he only smiled at how cute she looked trying to hide her true feelings.

"It wasn't bad! So, shower first and dinner later or dinner first?"

Now was the time. "Kitten, the truth, please. How was your day?" He raised a stern eyebrow when her face fell. How does he always read me so well? Knowing she couldn't hide now, she hung her head low as her shoulders sagged. "It was bad," she muttered. Ransom pulled her close, her head resting on his chest, his chin atop her head. "What happened? I swear if it's those fucking coworkers of yours—"

Her silence gave him the answer. The thing is, when Ransom and Y/N had started going out, everyone in the city was shocked. A cute, innocent little thing like her dating an asshole like him? Why? She had lost quite a few friends when she told them, but Ransom was there for her. "You don't need them, you have me." He was right. While the world saw him as a first-class jerk, he was the softest soul with her.

Her priorities were always placed before his. He took care of her, treated her like no previous boyfriend of hers had, and within 2 years of dating, he had proposed. People were even more shocked. She managed to get him to settle down?! How?! Then the gossip began. "He has to be cheating, I mean look at him. Look at her," she had heard one time after the engagement. That had made her super upset.

"Ransom, they're talking… someone said you were cheating on me…" She had broken down on his chest that night, crying her eyes out. And Ransom had immediately switched off the television. He sat up, holding her close. "You know I'd never do that, angel. Why would I, when you're with me? Do you really think those women out there have the same effect on me that you do? Huh?"

"Well, they said… they said I was ugly."

"What?! Those fucking whores—"

"Ransom, don't call them that," she had chided, swatting his chest. He caught the hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each fingertip. "If it makes you feel better, no, I'm not cheating on you. I love you a little too much to do that. You mean the world to me, Y/N, there's no one on this planet I'd rather be with than you. And you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, in and out," he told her sincerely.

Her crying ceased. "Thank you." And he held her close the entire night, rubbing her back as she slept on him. People talking about him? He could handle that, God knows he had been handling that for years. But them talking about her? His perfect, angelic, goddess-like fiancée? No, no, he wouldn't handle that. That whole thing was 4 years ago. People still talked.

"What did they say to you, Y/N?" he asked, coming back to the real world.

"They asked me why I was still with you." He exhaled loudly through his nose when Y/N's arms tightened around him. "I told them I loved you. You are nice, you're not what everyone says you are. But then Amy talked about… about how you used to be— what was the word she used? Oh, uh, yeah, she said you were something of a Casanova before you met me. But I told her that was over."

His arms snaked around her waist, his fingers gently dancing over her hips as she continued speaking. "She insisted that people can't just change over a small period of time. I tried ignoring her but then she started gossiping with someone else about you. And then I snapped at her. But you know me…" Ransom hummed, pressing his lips to her forehead.

His wife had a docile soul. Everything from her looks to her mannerisms was soft. She couldn't yell, she couldn't tell people off— she was too pure to do that. The world needed people like her, to be honest. That was also one of the things he liked about her. Sometimes, he thought about how beneficial it would be for her to hold her own in a fight, but his ego shoved the thought down each time.

He liked being her big protector. He loved taking care of her like that. "Yes, I know, angel. You're too good for this world, you know that?" he mumbled, slightly pulling away from her so he could cup her face, looking into her eyes. She huffed and looked away. "I'm too soft. I can't help it. I don't want to be this way." He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. "Oh no, you should definitely be this way."

"Why?"

"Because it suits you. Don't change for people who don't even care about you. I like you like this; gentle, caring… you have the biggest heart in the world, Y/N. And I want to keep it that way. Don't let people ruin your innocence. Keep being you." He pressed her closer when she started sniffling again. "You're too good to me," she pouted and he laughed. "That's my duty as your husband, kitten. Look, I bought flowers."

He took out the bouquet from his bag, smiling when Y/N's eager hands accepted it. "Thank you! Oh, these are so beautiful! Let me replace the flowers in the vase on the dining table!" Squealing, she walked away from him, leaving him to stare after her with an infatuated smile. You have no idea what you do to me, angel.

---

"Night, Ran," Y/N yawned, keeping her phone away. He held his arm up and Y/N snuggled into his side, allowing him to wrap his arm around her side. "Night, sweetheart," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her nose. He watched TV for some time until the match got boring; then he switched it off and carefully lay down on the bed, about to doze off when Y/N's phone rang. He blinked. Who'd be calling at his hour?

He lifted the phone off the nightstand, grimacing when he saw the Caller ID. Amy. As soon as he picked the phone up, Amy started blabbering. "Hi! Sorry I'm calling so late, Y/N, but I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you at work today. It was wrong of me, really, I hope you can forgive me!" Ransom stayed silent, his jaw clenched. He had been hearing that line for years.

"Ransom, it's okay, she apologized, she won't be doing it again. She told me so herself!"

It was never the last time.

"Are you done?" he snapped and Amy froze on the other side. "M-Mr Drysdale—" "Listen, I don't want to hear it. I'm not Y/N; she has a heart of gold, God, I wonder why I let her hang out with people whose hearts are made of pure shit. How many times have you apologized for the same thing, huh? Using my girl's pure heart to your fucking advantage like that?"

"You're being—"

"I'm being what? I'm being rude? Who started it? If you ever mention our marriage in front of Y/N again, I'll have your fucking head." Amy bristled on the other side. "Are you threatening me?" Ransom smirked. "If you don't want to be threatened, I suggest you keep your nose out of other people's business. What mine and Y/N's relationship is like is no one's concern."

Amy stayed silent. "Gossiping won't get you anywhere. I have the best lawyers in the city, and I swear, if Y/N comes crying to me one more time about how someone was rude to her, I'll sue. Trust me, I will take legal action. Is that understood?" Amy quaked at his menacing tone. "Y-Yes, sir." Ransom's lips curled into a devious smile. "Great." And he ended the call.

"Ransom, who was that?" Y/N sleepily murmured next to him. She hadn't heard a word of the conversation, but could tell he was on the phone. "No one you need to worry about, sweetheart, go to sleep. I'm here." He lay down next to her, pulling her close. "You know, I have a question." He nodded at her to go on. "How do you always know when I'm going to be in a bad mood?"

"What do you mean?" he smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. "I mean, I have been wondering for years! Everytime I happen to be in a bad mood, you bring home a gift. It's like— it's like you can read my mind! How?! It can't be a coincidence, it has happened a lot of times for it to be a coincidence," she rambled and Ransom's heart fluttered at how innocent and adorable she looked.

"I have my ways," he teased, lightly poking her nose. "You're not gonna tell me, are you?" she pouted and he couldn't help but lean forward, pressing his lips to hers. "Nope, just so I can keep surprising you." She giggled, snuggling further into his arms until her face was pressed into his bare chest. "I love you so much, Ransom," she whispered. "I love you more, my sweet little angel."

Both of them went to sleep with giddy smiles on their faces.

Oh, and the Spotify thing? That was his little secret. Shh, don't tell anyone!

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[langa-y]

Congrats on school :D I don't start for another month so!

Would you maybe possibly if it's not too much work do Reki helping Langa come down from a panic attack over the Future(™️)? If not no problem!!

Oh, Darling, My Soul

summary -> reki helps langa calm down

warnings -> anxiety, pet names, idk if there’s anything else so lmk if there is

word count -> 469

@stella-agmen !! i kinda forgot the panic attack part, so it’s more just like overall anxiety but i hope you like it <3

Bright.

The bright light of the computer hurt Langa’s aching eyes as he struggled through his Japanese homework.

The strokes of the kanji blurred together into incomprehensible shapes as he tried to read them, and he just wanted to finally go to bed.

Groaning, he pulled away from his desk and grabbed his phone, checking the time.

23:46. Shit.

His assignment was due in 14 minutes and he had barely gotten anything done.

Sniffing back tears, Langa went back to his keyboard and began to read the words.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Langa could tell he was about to spiral, and grabbed one of his fidget toys to try and keep himself grounded.

It didn’t matter. Most of the words on his screen still looked more like scribbles than actual words.

Tears spilled down Langa’s cheeks. He needed to pass this class to graduate and therefore make it in life, but how could he do that when he was struggling to read Japanese?

He grabbed his phone, about to call Reki, before hesitating. 

Surely Reki was asleep. Langa didn’t want to bother him, as Reki had also been just as stressed between S and school.

Langa wiped his eyes, considering asking his teacher for an extension, when his phone rang.

Glancing at the caller ID, he noticed it was Reki.

Flailing in his seat, he grabbed his phone and immediately picked up. “Reki!”

“Sorry I couldn’t sleep,” Reki blurted. “Wait, I thought you would be asleep by now.”

Langa let out a watery laugh. “Yeah, me too.”

Reki went silent on the other end. “Langa have you been crying?”

“No…” Langa said, sniffing.

“Yes you have been! Are you okay? What’s wrong? Do you want me to come over-“

“-No it’s fine,” Langa chuckled, moving the phone to his other hand. “I was just doing the Japanese assignment and couldn’t read it, so then I got stressed thinking how I wouldn’t graduate if I couldn’t pass this class just because I can’t fucking read.”

Reki stayed silent during Langa’s mini-rant.

“My love, you’re exhausted aren’t you?”

Langa felt like he might cry again. “Yeah, I am.”

“Go to bed. I’ll come over tomorrow and I’ll help you with the assignment. I doubt she’ll care if it's turned in a day late. Besides, it’s due in three minutes, I don’t think you’ll get it done tonight,” Reki chucked.

Langa lightly laughed, the sound making Reki’s heart flutter. “Okay I’ll rest. Thanks, babe.”

“Of course,” Reki replied. “Do you want me to stay on the phone until you fall asleep?”

Langa nodded before realizing that Reki couldn’t see him. “That would be great, love.”

Langa layed down, content with the plan for the assignment, and listened to Reki hum softly through the phone.

He fell asleep rather quickly that night.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Safe & Sound ~ OT7 [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4.5K

GENRE: Angst with a fluffy ending, platonic friendship with the boys, fighting, 

PAIRING: Platonic ot7 x Fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy this my love! Sorry it’s a little late my laptop completely gave out on me so I had to steal my brothers >.< I hope that this fic is okay for you and that Y/n isn’t too easily forgiving! I am working on that for you guys like I said before

The room was so hot it felt as though you were going to melt into a puddle on the seat, a heatwave had made its way through Seoul and Sejin made a decision to have a conference with the boys in the hottest room in the HYBE building. It was one of the hottest days in the year and instead of being out in the sun you were trapped in a meeting room waiting for Jimin to come and meet you, the boys and Sejin to have a nice long discussion about the tour that was going to be coming up.

The way that Sejin paced up and down in front of you made you nervous, he called a meeting with you and the boys and of course, Jimin was running late but Sejin had no idea why leading him to believe that you did. Being close with each of the boys meant you must have known everything, even if you didn't.

"You sure you have no idea?" You shook your head as Sejin asked you for the fifteenth time if you knew where Jimin was, you did, but you weren't going to let onto the fact that you knew. Jimin was on a date with his secret girlfriend and you were covering for him, you and the boys were the only ones who knew who the boys were dating since it was in their contracts that they weren't supposed to but they were boys. They had needs just like everybody else had so you kept their secret. After all, you were their best friend, you'd been with them since they debuted and you were always going to stick by their sides no matter what.

"He probably slept through his alarm Sejin, you know what he's like," You suggested, trying to calm the manager down who simply sighed and nodded his head at you finally taking a seat at the desk while the other six boys thanked you with their eyes. They all knew where he was but you didn't know the exact details, you never wanted to know the details just who they were with and how long they were going to be.

"Sorry, I'm late! The alarm just didn't wake me up," You sighed in relief as a sweaty-looking Jimin sat down in a chair beside Yoongi, Sejin said nothing as he stood up and began making his way over to a whiteboard to begin discussing the arrangements for the new tour.

As their personal assistant, you were going to be going along with them everywhere, as you did every tour, it was fun. You got to explore the world with some of your best friends as well as get some front row seats to the best performances you'd seen, though you had seen them enough times you could probably perform them with the boys. You'd gotten to travel around the world with your best friends, seeing the sights, having fun and just relaxing despite it being your job.

"As usual we'll stay in the cities for two nights and then head out to the plane the next morning, bright and early. That means no one can be late," Sejin said with a stern voice as he stared at Jimin who was hiding behind a cup of iced tea and blushing, you bit down on your lip to stop yourself from laughing and waited for Sejin to finish his speech. Hoping it would be soon so you could get out of the room, it was like sitting in a vivarium, if this was how snakes felt all of the time you never wanted to be one.

"I didn't think he was going to stop talking," Jin moaned as he sat in front of the small mini-fridge that was in Yoongi's studio, the door open as he let the cold air hit his body. You and Namjoon on the other hand were laid on the flooring under the air-con machine being blasted with cold air, 

"I think I lost weight in there," You whined as you looked over at Jimin, his head in his phone clearly trying to apologise to his girlfriend who had ditched, 

"Is she okay with it? I'm sorry I couldn't get you out of it, I already got Jungkook out of a meeting last week," You spoke softly as Jimin glanced up at you, shaking his head. 

"It's not your place to make excused for us, don't be silly," You smiled weakly and laid your head back down on the floor as you watched the ceiling. All of the boys were dating and only you knew about it, no big deal. Namjoon had been together with his partner since the year after they debuted together, it was a surprise to you that no one else knew about them.

"How's your dating life going?" Hoseok asked as he fanned himself with a stack of papers from the coffee table, you scoffed at him whilst shaking your head. 

"I don't have time for dating, I'm too busy looking after you idiots," You mumbled sarcastically as you sat up slowly, thanking Yoongi who came into the room carrying cold drinks for everybody. 

"When was the last time you did something that wasn't for us?" Taehyung questioned, genuinely interested since to him all he seemed to him that you did was work, wor, work and sleep.

"Last week I went to that book shop-"

"Which you went to because Namjoon wanted the knew Leigh Bardugo book," Jungkook interrupted as he smirked at you.

"But I still went and got some things for myself." You grumbled, wanting to move on from this conversation as it made you uncomfortable. 

"Y/n can do what she wants, when she wants she just choices to look after us," Yoongi reminded them as he could see how uncomfortable you were getting about the subject, 

"Anyway, you need to listen to this new song, so come on." He quickly headed over to his computer and began typing as he searched for one of the songs he'd been working on, while you carefully snuck out of the door and headed to your office for the day. 

"I'll walk you to your car," Jimin said as you walked into the elevator together, you glanced up at him and smiled weakly. It had been a long day of organising things for the upcoming tour, making sure the hotels you were going to visit had everything the boys would need as well as running around the building to make sure the boys had what they needed that day. Your head was spinning so fast you thought you were going to need a week-long nap just to make up for it, 

"Can you drive me home instead? I feel like I might fall asleep," You whined, laying your head down on his shoulder as he chuckled hitting the garage floor buttons and nodding his head. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary for one of the boys to drive you home or for you to drive them home you were like a happy family and they always looked out for you. 

"Sure, I'll get Jin-Hyung to pick me up from yours," He chuckled as he waited for the lift to move, laying his head on top of yours as you shut your eyes for a second wanting to rest them. 

"Thank you for covering for me, I didn't mean to stay at Mina's last night, we just had a long night." You laughed softly while shaking your head,

"It's fine, you don't have to explain anything to me Jimin, just make sure you're on time or Sejin might get suspicious. I don't mind you boys dating as long as you can keep it under wraps, you know that." You poked his cheek as you stood up straight, getting out on your floor and giving your car keys to Jimin who began following you in the direction of your company car. 

"What are you doing for your eighth year with the company?" He questioned, trying to make small talk to keep you awake for a little while longer, he knew how bad your sleeping patterns would get if you went to sleep now. 

"I'm thinking of taking a week off, maybe go and have a holiday? You keep pestering me to do," You laughed softly as you got into the passenger side door of the car and watched Jimin as he started the engine, he always looked so confident when he drove compared to when he first passed his test and was always so nervous to even start up an engine. 

"What?" He stared at you thinking he'd done something wrong but you shook your head with a smile, 

"Nothing, you just look confident, it's a good thing." You whispered as you stared out of the window focusing on everything you were passing by as Jimin tried to make some basic conversation with you. 

The next morning there was a weird feeling in your stomach that something was going to happen or that something bad had already happened and you had yet to figure out what it was. The boys hadn't replied to your calls or texts and Sejin was telling you there was an urgent meeting you had to be in right away with no excuses. 

"Morning Ted, did your baby arrive yet?" You laughed softly looking up at the security guard as you signed in. Normally you would exchange small talk about his pregnant wife but today he seemed stand-offish and was ignoring you as he handed you your ID card and took your bag to scan it through. 

"Everything is clear." Frowning at the way he was acting you headed over to the elevators ignoring the glances you were getting from people around you, it could have just been your imagination but they were whispering under their breath and pointing at you.

"I heard that it dropped late last night and she's the only one capable of knowing everything." The doors shut before you could hear anything else that one of the cleaners was saying, the feeling you had that morning tripled in size and your legs felt like jelly, you could have sworn you were going to throw up at any second. Rumours in this place were the worst kind of rumours, they could make you lose your job or have you arrested, no one seemed to think before they spoke around there and any kind of news true or false spread like wildfire. 

"Morning Sejin, everyone is acting rather odd-" You stopped talking when you walked into one of the smaller conference rooms to see the boys sitting around the table with Sejin, all staring at you in silence as Sejin clicked on his laptop. Behind him on the projector screen appeared different articles about the boys all with yesterday's and today's date on them, each of them detailing the dating lives of the members with photographs.

"What the fuck," Your bag dropped from your shoulder and onto the floor as your eyes scanned over the screen, more and more articles popping up the more Sejin clicked on his keyboard.

"What happened? I thought you told me you would be careful!" You yelled staring at the boys who were all staring back at you, Yoongi scoffing as he shook his head at you. 

"There Y/n goes, shifting the blame onto somebody else," Your heart began to pound against your chest as you realised they thought that it had been you to leak the stories to the press. 

"What?" You stuttered out looking from Sejin to the boys, all of them had the same look of disgust on their faces as they looked at you. Well all of them except for Jungkook who seemed to have his head in his hands.

"We trusted you!" Namjoon hissed as he got up from the chair, slamming the palm of his hands against the wood as he locked eyes with you. It felt as though you were being told off by a parent only worse, this time you knew you'd done nothing wrong and yet they were going to blame you without any form of proof. 

"Why would I go to the media? I've been working here for eight years, why would I go and throw away eight years of work and friendship?" You pleased with them, trying to make them see the sense in what they were saying, you would never do anything like this to them. Not to mention you'd signed thousands of contracts stating that you couldn't speak to anybody about what was happening outside of that building.

"No one else knows about it, no one but us and you," Yoongi mumbled, folding his arms over his chest as he stared out of the window. He couldn't bring himself to look at you, he felt betrayed in so many different ways. 

"Is this how one of our songs was leaked four years ago?" Namjoon was hurling accusations at you but you shook your head, there was no way you were going to let them put the blame onto you for this. Not when you had nothing to do with it.

"Why would I do something like that? I'm your friend-"

"No you're not, you've never been our friend. You've been using us since the start," Jungkook finally spoke as he got up from his chair, you glanced over at him to see his eyes were bloodshot from crying, Sejin looked over at the door as someone knocked on it and he excused himself. 

"I haven't been using you, I've been here since you debuted, I've been working with you guys. You're like my brothers, why would I ever hurt you like this?!" You were yelling now as they continued to put the blame onto you, you knew yelling wasn't going to make them see the truth but it was the only way you thought you could heard over them. 

"Tell us we're wrong then, tell us you didn't go to the media with all our date stories," Hoseok said as he stared at you, arms folded over his chest as if he was challenging you to do something. 

"Fine. You're wrong. I would never do something so idiotic," You stared at Jimin who had yet to say a word to you,

"Jimin took me home and I went to bed last night, I could barely lift my head up." You began going over in your mind what you had done the night before, there was no way you would do something like this. 

"The sources came from your email account, your name was used to sign off on each source," Taehyung mumbled, getting up and pointing to the source materials all of the media outlets had been using. 

"It's not that hard to get my email online, it's not that hard to find my name-"

"STOP LYING TO US!" Jimin finally cried out, red in the face from anger as he let tears stream down his cheeks, your heart felt as though it was breaking from the sight alone. 

"Jimin...Please, I would never do something like this to you." Tears began to well up in the corner of your eyes as you wished he would believe you, hoping that was some way he would take your side through all of this. 

"It's a good trick though, pretending to be our friend and then selling stories behind our backs," Yoongi said sarcastically as he sat back down in the chair it looked as though he'd already made up his mind on what had happened, they all had. 

"You're a disappointment," Jungkook hissed, venom dripping from his words as he stormed out of the room, you begged him to stay but he ignored you. 

"Why would we ever trust a snake, like you?" Another stab to the heart as Jin stormed out of the room with the words, you turned to look at Jimin who was normally the one to take both sides during a discussion but this time he seemed to have already made up his mind and he was set in his way. 

"You have to believe me, I would never-"

"Then how do you explain it?! How do you explain everyone knowing it all! You're the only one that knew all of this information Y/n! Just fucking own up to it and don't be so stupid," He yelled in your face making your breathing hitch in your throat, you watched him walk out of the room followed by Yoongi, Taehyung, Hoseok leaving you alone with only Namjoon who was shaking his head at you.

"Joonie-"

"Only my friends get to call me that, we never should have trusted you." He rubbed his temples and you knew what that meant, he was trying to make a decision about something and your heartbroke. It was about you and you knew it. 

"To make things easier, since no one believes me anyway, you can stick your job," You mumbled, snapping the lanyard that carried your ID inside and dropping it onto the desk. Followed by the company car keys, 

"I'll give you the apartment key when I move out," You grumbled, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind you. 

"Don't act like you're better than us! You did this to yourself!" Yoongi yelled as you joined him in the hallway outside of the meeting room, you scoffed at him as you finally let the tears go. 

"You know what, you've already made your decision so it clearly doesn't matter. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?!" You yelled back at him, you didn't need to worry about losing your job since you'd already quit, there was nothing holding you back anymore. 

"What happened to, "Y/n you're our best friend, no matter what?', or is that all just bullshit now?" You yelled out, eyes scanning over their faces as the elevator let you know it was on the floor. Ted got out and you knew he was there for you.

"We never should have hired you," Jimin laughed as he looked at you, everyone on that floor began to come out of their rooms to get a look at what was happening as if it was something happening on their TV show instead of right in front of them, 

"We never should have hired a stupid girl who no one else wanted, someone who ruins everything that she touches!" You stiffened up your back as you heard him, Ted touched your upper arm but you moved away from him walking yourself into the elevator as you shook your head.

"You guys act like you're so sweet and yet you're toxic to the one person who's only ever always been there for you." You mumbled, hitting the bottom floor button before the doors shut, leaving them behind as you sunk down onto the floor crying at the thought of them hating you forever.

"Do you think we were too harsh?" Hoseok whispered as he sat in the dorms later that night with Jungkook and Taehyung, all three of them were regretting what they had said while the others stayed in their rooms not speaking with one another.

"No, I mean...There was no one else it could have been, she didn't have to lie to us," Taehyung grumbled as he poked at his food with his chopsticks, he'd lost his appetite all day being worried about what you were going through back at the apartment you were staying in.

"Well, I mean not really...It could have been any one of the girls we're dating..." Jungkook whispered as he looked over at Hoseok who sighed to himself, none of them had thought it through before accusing you of being the one to leak information.

"Why would they though?" Taehyung frowned, he knew his girlfriend would never do something that could potentially ruin their relationship.

"Why would who, do what?" Namjoon questioned hearing the end of their conversation, 

"Jungkook thinks one of our girlfriends could have been the one to leak the information but why would they? I mean, unless it was out of spite but I don't think they would," Hoseok explained, thinking back to his girlfriend and shaking his head, he knew she would never betray his trust that way but Namjoon's face seemed to turn pale and it looked as though he was beginning to sweat.

"Namjoon?" Jungkook questioned, confused as to why the leader looked as though he'd just seen a ghost roaming around the halls of the dorms. 

"I mean- What if it was one of our girlfriends...I- Me and Jessi had a fight last night and we broke up...She knows everything Y/n knows and more...She never liked Y/n either so she would do it to spite us all..." The room suddenly fell cold even though it was a heatwave and the boys all panicked, darting for their phones to try and contact you while Namjoon tried to piece everything together and think of a way to get it out of his ex that she did or did not do it.

Getting it out of Jessi wasn't easy but after HYBE ordered a warrant to go through her internet histories finding everything came from her IP address, including multiple email accounts created under your name and address the boys instantly tried to get into contact with you but you had blocked their numbers wanting nothing more to do with people who thought that you were lying to them. 

"I bought a coffee, to make up for things," Jungkook said as you walked out of your apartment to find him standing there staring at you. HYBE had allowed you to stay in the apartment until you found another place to live and the boys had been sending over non-stop gifts to try and say sorry to you, this was the first time you'd seen any of them face to face since it happened. 

"You think a coffee, some flowers and a huge 'I'm Beary sorry' teddy bear are going to make up for it?" You scoffed, pulling the strap of your bag over your shoulder, making your way towards the building's main elevator where the rest of the boys were waiting. They knew there was nothing they could do, say or give to you that would even begin to make up for what they said and did to you. Embarrassing you in front of everyone that was in that hallway that day, yelling at you, accusing you of something you'd never done in your life.

"No, but it's a way of us saying sorry and starting to mend what we broke," Jungkook whispered, Jimin glanced up at you as you looked over each of them. It was obvious how sorry they all were but if you forgave them so easily who was to say that they wouldn't do it all over again? You didn't want them to use you like you were some kind of mug.

"Will you think about it?" Namjoon questioned as you got into the elevator without saying anything to them but you had no idea what to say, it was hard. After eight years you thought they trusted you as much as you trusted them but clearly, you were wrong about that fact. 

"I guess...But it hurt, knowing that after all these years you didn't believe me." You looked up at them as they all looked down at the ground apologetically. 

"We're sorry," They each said as the doors shut, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your vibrating phone. Sejin had been trying to get in contact with you since he found out it was all Jessi, he wanted to get you to come back to your job and apologise for what had happened but you ignored his calls and voicemails. You just needed some time and space to think everything over, things would never go back to the way they were. You'd never be able to be as close with the boys as you once were but it was worth a shot. Right? 

The last few weeks consisted of sneaking into the HYBE building without the members knowing, signing all new contracts to work with a different team and group as well as trying to mend your business relationship with Sejin. Since you felt betrayed by him and the boys you no longer wanted to work under them but that didn't mean you couldn't be friends and still work for the company. After eight years you decided you weren't just going to throw it all away for nothing. 

"You're here?" Jimin questioned as he walked into one of the lounge area's in the building to see you standing with JR from NU'EST, he was talking to you about something he wanted brought to him. 

"I am, I'm working though so if you want something you'll have to walk and talk," Jimin frowned as he followed you out into the hallway, following you around as you headed towards the canteen to get a coffee. 

"You're working for NU'EST now?" He questioned, watching you closely as you nodded your head, turning to look up at him with a weak smile. 

"This was the only way I could think of saving a friendship...I couldn't work for you or Sejin again so I'm with NU'EST...I'll see you around and we can develop our friendships again," He knew that you were coming from a good place and it was nice to know you were willing to work on your friendships with them but he couldn't help but feel hurt by you choosing to sign with a different band after everything you'd done with them.

"Jimin...This was the only way I could come back to work," You whispered as he nodded at you, following you back up to the lounge and he told all of the boys what was happening. 

Days at the company turned into weeks which turned into months of you working for the new group, working alongside them while working on your friendship with the NU'EST members as well as the BTS boys again, wanting nothing more than your friendship to be as strong as it once was and it was back at that point. You felt as though you could trust them and get along with them better, 

"It feels good to have you back," Jungkook said as he handed you a plate of food, all eight of you were at the dorms eating take-out and watching some bad movie that Hoseok had picked out. It was your monthly movie night that you used to have together, it was nice to know that everything was clicking back into place and you were developing growth with them.

"I CALLED IT!" Yoongi yelled as the two side characters began to make out in the forest before being killed by the movie killer, it was a tradition between you all to make bets on movie cliche's that would be used within the movies.

"It was so obvious," You mumbled putting the money you owed him into his hand before stealing one of the spring rolls from his plate and eating it happily. It was safe to say everything was back to the way it should have been in the first place, the way things were happy. You felt as though you were back home safe and sound.

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