#because it really highlights that like. yes university is a really good thing. this should not be The Thing though

[violexides]

the American education system needing to be improved and more accessible because as it stands a lot of people lack access to adequate schooling and it has the potential to address really important subjects and provide social support for people

coexists with the idea that societally we should not be trying to pull every piece of information from the American education system because it is not equipped even remotely to address the knowledge that can come from a person's individual lived experience nor provide the information (en masse) that goes against the state that created it.

this is something i thinka bout a lot and try to re-articulate a lot because i am resistant to answering the question "why are you only studying abolition now, through a university?" but i think a lot of things can come out of that line of questioning. because it's not just about academia it's about the people forming those communities to have those dialogues and that is key that is critical. but that doesn't negate the fact that we should have school as a starting place, and a meeting place, for all of that.

[astraltrickster]

What I love about the Goncharov meme is how willing most of us are to break kayfabe, because - on the surface level, it's kind, it gives people the opportunity to opt out if this just isn't good for them, and tells people - the secret is that there is no secret, that's the joke, hop right in with a "yes, and"; all are welcome. It's likely to confuse future media historians regardless.

But as someone who really enjoyed House of Leaves I also love it on a meta level because, we are essentially creating a spiritual adaptation of that book, blurring the line between meme and ARG...all based on a pair of shoes. It begs the question, then, what level of this layered narrative are we on, exactly?

I'm not the first person to compare Goncharov to The Navidson Record and I know I won't be the last. It's a very easy, obvious comparison to make - this legendary piece of lost media that everyone has an opinion on, but no one can confirm it's even real? Yeah, at this point in tumblr's collective consciousness, Goncharov is very much like that - the only difference being, we're on the same page and can agree that it's not real and never was.

Except we will place ourselves into a narrative such that it is real. It's an unspoken rule that even if you break kayfabe in other posts, even if you tag your Goncharov posts as "unreality" for accessibility (as you should, especially your original posts), you don't add to a Goncharov meta post, or fanfic, or fanart, in such a way as to even insinuate that Goncharov may not be a real movie. In this layer, that makes you the fool, the uncultured swine. Everyone's seen Goncharov! What do you mean you haven't even heard of it!? What do you mean you doubt it exists!? What rock have you been living under!? If someone earnestly asks what it is, it is to be answered elsewhere - in DMs, in an ask, over Discord, maybe in the replies, but not as an addition to the post that exists "in that reality".

There are a few things we tend to agree upon about Goncharov:

It is a work of fiction. The events of the movie did not occur in the universe - the narrative layer - where we discuss it as a real film.

As stated on the shoe label that created the meme, it is a film directed by Martin Scorsese, written by someone named Matteo JWHJ 0715 (sometimes also written as Matteo JWHJ0715 or Matteo jwhj0715), and it is a mafia movie - namely, it carries the lofty claim of being "The Greatest Mafia Movie Ever Made."

It is about the relationship between Russian and Italian mafia families, set in Naples.

This movie poster is the basis of the canon; the characters listed on it exist and are portrayed by the actors listed.

There is an additional character, Sofia, whose reasons for being omitted from the poster are unknown.

Katya and Goncharov are married; this likely at least started as merely a marriage of convenience, but the full nature of their relationship is hotly debated in a way that highlights many common views of tumblr shipping culture¹.

Katya eventually betrays Goncharov, leading to his death at the end of the film.

There is significant homoerotic subtext between Andrey/Goncharov and Katya/Sofia, much of which plays into the film's themes; however, contrary to the impressions often given by tumblr's fandom culture, it is all subtextual, and while the relationships between Andrey, Goncharov, Katya, and Sofia can be read as significant drivers of the plot, they are far from being the central focus of the story.

Clocks are a major recurring visual symbol.

There is a pivotal "boat scene".

Most other details, however, are left to whoever is currently "analyzing" it. For instance, while many on Archive Of Our Own agree that the character of "Ice Pick Joe" definitely died in the end, with "no beta we die like Ice Pick Joe" being a popular tag for Goncharov fanfiction, at least one early tumblr post implies that the character's fate is undetermined.

The Goncharov meme is simultaneously a love letter to tumblr's fan culture, and a scathing critique thereof², but one of the most underappreciated fascinating things about it is that it forms a nested narrative.

On the innermost layer, we have the unreachable - the film itself. No one has seen it. No one ever will. We're all just trying to imagine it from the shadows on the cave wall. Maybe one day we'll create it, but it will still never truly be the original 1973 film we're all writing about. Making it even harder to recreate and make "real", the mythology includes alternate cuts and regional edits to reconcile the plot points written by different users that undeniably contradict each other.

On the next layer outward, we have the posts about the film. The deep meta. The fanart. The fanfiction. The content "from another universe" where Goncharov is a real classic film that everyone has seen. The layer where we don't break kayfabe. This is a layer we can see the reality of, and contribute to, but never truly live in - it is an imaginary construct. Or is it? The film we're writing about may not exist, but the story we're weaving together from these roleplay writing exercises is somewhat coherent, and the thousands upon thousands of words of meta and fanfiction we write about it are real; one could make a compelling argument that even if Goncharov the film does not exist, the Goncharov fandom is a real fandom. This layer is one foot in the real world, and one foot in a fictional one.

On the next layer, we have the posts about the meme. This can be definitively stated to be real, with no caveats. Posts that discuss how the meme reflects on fan culture, about the self-referential nature of the meme, about the little aspects of online fandom culture it plays with. This is the first layer that can fully be said to be rooted exclusively in the real world.

But even on a layer beyond that, we have posts such as this one, discussing the discussion of the fandom for the fake film - and on yet another layer beyond that (or is it the same one?), we have the future speculation. We have guesses as to what future historians will think of this phenomenon. We have discussions of the precarious and transient nature of information online, questions about what parts of this meme will be archived and which ones will disappear. Will there be historians desperately searching for this alleged lost classic in 50 years? Will it be assumed that the shoes that started the meme were actually a piece of promotional merchandise for a real classic film?

You may notice, then, that the innermost layers are discrete, but once you get into the layers that exist in our reality, they become markedly less so.

This model gives us a structure that can be visualized somewhat like this:

[Image ID: a diagram of 5 concentric circles. The centermost circle is colored in dark red with a thick black outline and labeled "Goncharov (1973 film) - fictional, unreachable, unviewable". The next circle outward is colored in pink, with a thinner black outline, and is labeled "Goncharov fan discussion". The next circle is colored in light gold, with a black outline that blurs into the next circle, labeled "Discussion of the Goncharov fan discussion". The next layer is colored in light green, with a dark outline blurred so thoroughly that its only purpose is to provide some visual contrast for clarity of labeling, labeled "Discussion of all previous layers; note the blurring of the line between this layer and the previous". Finally, the outermost layer is colored in light blue, with a solid black outline, labeled "Speculation about the future's view of the Goncharov meme, including roleplay as lost media enthusiasts and media studies professors 50-100 years in the future". End ID.]

In fact, there are several rules the Goncharov meme has come to follow:

As stated above, any given post is constrained to its narrative layer, to the extent that those layers are discrete. Posts about Goncharov as a real film are not to have additions that break kayfabe. Similarly, posts about Goncharov as a meme are not to have anyone insist the film is real. This may be subject to change as the meme evolves, but it is the rule as of the time of this writing.

You may not add to a post to contradict a claim about the factual nature of what happened on screen, even if it directly contradicts a previous post of yours³. You are, however, encouraged to dispute its implications and get creative to try and reconcile the contradictions. The only exception is in the form of responding to a meme with another extant meme format (e.g., "I get what you're going for OP but x very much did y")

Posts about Goncharov the film are to be treated exactly the same way you would post about a real piece of media. Analysis is to be taken seriously, using real analytical frameworks and devices. Memes are to use real formats. Fanart and fanfiction are to have just as much effort put into their crafting as you would give any real piece of media.

Complaining about bad readings that do not exist, but you imagine someone might make, is encouraged.

You cannot break these rules. Not "you may not", but "you cannot". It is not possible. You can try. You will fail. Your posts breaking these rules will never gain traction, or if they do, they will do so only after being added to in order to make it fit them. The narrative is hungry. You cannot engage it without being absorbed into it. Your only escape is to walk away and not look back⁴.

In other words, the Goncharov meme is not just a meditation on fan culture, but a demonstration and discussion of the intricacy of the relationship between fiction and reality.

House of Leaves is beloved for its complex nested narrative, and again, the comparison is a common one. However, there is a subtle and potentially unsettling difference - House of Leaves did not include its author or its readers nearly as thoroughly as the Goncharov meme does. House of Leaves was written from outside the narrative; the legend of Goncharov is being written from within.

Every single person who blogs about Goncharov makes themself into a character in this story.

The narrative layers in House of Leaves bleed into each other to give a sense of mystery as to what is real and what is not in the universe(s) of the novel. The narrative layers in the Goncharov mythos bleed into each other because we traverse them freely - from the fictional reviews and retellings and analysis, to the semi-fictional drawing of comparisons to real media and the use of this nonexistent movie as a low-stakes vehicle to lightheartedly air one's real complaints with fan culture, to the fully-grounded discussion of Goncharov's impact as a meme, to the philosophical discussion of its multi-layered nature, to the once-again-fictional speculation of how it will be viewed in the future - the same person can visit any of these layers.

But their impact will always be bound by each layer's internal rules, because building a legend - a narrative - will not allow for anything else.

Goncharov does not exist. Goncharov is a narrative labyrinth that contains us all. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ITS NARRATIVE.

-----------------------------------

1. Tumblr shipping culture is as much of a microcosm of queer studies as it is of media analysis. It, like the Goncharov meme, operates on a minimum of two levels: the level of analyzing a story for potential queer readings, namely in the form of romantic relationships, and opportunities for transformative work; and the level of sociopolitical discussion of queer issues and stereotypes, and how they are reflected in media and the discussion thereof; the latter, particularly, in the form of intracommunity disputes and lateral aggression. For example, the dispute over the nature of Goncharov and Katya's marriage and its level of sincerity is implied in some posts to occasionally cross the line into bisexual erasure. While at the time of the Goncharov meme's emergence in 2022, the discourse within this subculture is much more civil than it once was, it is still very much an environment that stands as a constant reminder that there is no such thing as a truly apolitical space.

Of course, most everyone on this website knows that by now, right?

2. This meme comes at a time when a lot of us are terrified of going back to the way things used to be in tumblr fan discourse. We all joke about the Hamilton HIV fanfic catfish, or The JohnLock Conspiracy, or any number of other major scandals now that they're over; they are hilarious in hindsight, but it's all too easy to lose track of the fact that the human toll at the time was real. DashCon is a joke to most, but I've personally met more than one well-meaning volunteer who ended up with PTSD from dealing with attendees who thought even the volunteers were in on an intentional scam. We laugh at the absurdity of the incident known as Boneghazi, but it doesn't take away the fact that there are still people in Louisiana wondering if their relatives were the ones whose bones were stolen and offered up for sale online - though that one was only tangentially related to fandom, it's from the same broad sitewide culture. People have been stalked, harassed, doxxed, psychologically abused to the point of hospitalization and even suicide, there are even rumors of assaults over disagreements about which show is better, or which fictional characters have the best relationships. It's all petty, all funny in hindsight - but the human toll is real.

I got caught in an incident myself once*, before the porn ban. There was one guy, they and some real life friends of theirs got into my circle of friends in a roleplay community in the ■■■■■■■ fandom. They seemed nice enough. Normal enough. We had a few good chats. They played the same character I did, among a few others. Had a fun little concept we were throwing back and forth to start a thread with the doubled character. Accidental cloning due to a computer error, it was going to be.

Everything fell apart when a new ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ dropped. It gave us a nice scene of the most popular "ship" in the fandom - one that had been teased since day 1, and of course when it got attention the company wanted to milk it for all it was worth. This guy originally seemed cool with the ship, even though they didn't like it much; they preferred to pair one of the characters off with their self-insert OC. It was all a peaceful difference of opinion for a while, but after this ■■■■■■ dropped and people were excited about the scene, they went berserk. My then-boyfriend's ex started getting anonymous messages imitating him. My inbox started filling up with threats. Some of my more casual acquaintances started confronting me over threats they thought I sent. Meanwhile, this guy was melting down on main about how everyone had "betrayed" them. I found myself blocked by our mutual friends who this guy knew in real life - it turned out, because they were telling them that I was sending them hate and threats. "Someone" tried to convince my then-boyfriend to doxx someone adjacent to the circle for "abuse". I started getting hate messages that hit some of my deepest insecurities and almost ■■■ ■■ ■■ ■■■■■■ - the only reason I ended up okay was because I figured it out, because I realized this guy was the one doing all of it, and they were mining for ammo from our mutual friends.

All of this because a bunch of people, mostly strangers, were happy about the ■■■■■■. Because of a fictional relationship. Their fixation on me was just because we played the same character but liked different ships, and I was a little more known in the fandom. This wasn't even on a website where people could see follower counts, it was right here on tumblr, so they had to be pretty obsessive to figure that out in the first place.

Eventually the friends they lied about me to caught on and left them, but not before they stole a bunch of said friends' stuff. Last I checked on them, it was 2 years since the incident, and they were still melting down on main about how anyone who liked that ship was evil. By that point they had convinced themself that the entire fandom for that ship was a campaign to harass and persecute them personally; that there was no other reason to like it.

The last thing I head about them was that they had stabbed a family member over this and some other personal drama and gotten banned from Twitter and a few conventions for making violent threats toward artists and cosplayers. I don't dare look back anymore.

*Editors' note: Some details have been altered or redacted to protect the ignorant.

3. Ironically, this is one of the few tells that Goncharov is not an extant piece of media. In fandoms for real media, it is fairly common for details to be misremembered and corrections to be made.

4. "Don't look back", of course, is easier said than done. We must recall the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Orpheus, despondent at the loss of his love, arranged to be allowed into the underworld to bring her back to life, but there was one condition; one tiny, seemingly simple condition - he must not look at her until they were both back in the light. If he did, she would be dragged back and lost forever; he would not get a second chance.

Like many myths, the details vary from telling to retelling. Some say that she was never made aware of the rule and cried out in terror as her husband refused to look at her, and almost instinctively he turned to comfort her. Some say that he fell victim to almost a form of muscle memory in mid-ascent when he turned to make sure she was okay. Some say that his desire to see her again sooner rather than later was just too strong and outweighed his resolve and common sense screaming for him to hold to the condition. Some say that he turned as soon as he was in the light, blissfully unaware until it was too late that she was still in the dark.

Whatever the reason, Orpheus looked back.

There is no version of the story where he succeeded in not looking back. The narrative will not let him not look back. The myth has no room for an Orpheus who is successful.

He cannot escape the myth.

He cannot escape the narrative.

Orpheus will always look back.

[crystaldust]

HIGHLIGHTS FROM “What Am I?”

[session 13 of “Keys to the ultimate freedom” by Lester Levenson]

♡ The ultimate goal of every being is total and complete happiness with no taint of sorrow whatsoever. 

♡ “Attention! You have spent many lifetimes looking in the wrong direction! Stop looking without and look ye within! Only there will ye find that which ye have spent lifetime after lifetime seeking!” And then you meet someone like Lester: who tells you, “Seek ye your very own Self. Therein lies your complete happiness. Stop looking for happiness in people and things. Here you merely eliminate the pain of the desire for something, and the relief you get you call pleasure. And the pleasure is short-lived because the desire is not eliminated and is still there, and therefore the pain of it continues to gnaw at you.“

♡ Accept nothing unless you can prove it yourself. Prove it and it is yours. Prove it and then you can use it.

♡ The intellect does not avail it to us. The intellect can get us in the right direction to find it. The right direction is turning within, stilling the mind and experiencing this truth, this knowledge. And only by experience can we get to know it.

♡ Methods are many, but the very highest is the method that everyone uses in the final end, and that method is finding the answer to “What am I?” This quest should be kept up all the time, not only in meditation, but during the day. While we're working, no matter what we're doing, in the back of our mind we can always keep that question posed: “What am I?” until the answer makes itself obvious to us.

♡ Now, any answer the mind can give us must necessarily not be it because the mind is an instrument of limitation. All thoughts are qualified; all thoughts are limited. So any answer the mind gives cannot be right. The way the answer comes is simply by getting out of our own way - removing the blindness that we have imposed upon ourselves by assuming thoughts that we are a thinking mind body.

♡ So, the way is to pose the question “What am I?” and quietly await the answer. Other thoughts will come in, and the biggest difficulty is quieting these thoughts. When other thoughts come in, if we pose the question, “To whom are these thoughts?” the answer naturally is, “To me.” Then, “What am I?” puts us right back.

♡ In addition to posing this question until we get the answer, it is good practice in our daily life to be not the doer, be not the agent. Just be the witness! Acquire the “It is not I but the Father who worketh through me” attitude. 

♡ So, there are two things I'm suggesting, one is the quest “What am I?” and the second is, in life itself, be not the doer; be the witness. Let things happen; allow life to be. That's the way we are in the top state, and the best behavior in life is that which is characteristic of the top state.

♡ the greatest aid is to be not the doer, but be the witness.

♡ When we attain this top state, we are not zombies, but we are all-knowing and everywhere present. Everything falls perfectly into line. We move in the world just like anyone else moves, but the difference is that we see the world entirely different from the way everyone else sees it. We see our body and every other body equally as our Self. Likewise, every animal and every thing as our Self. Seeing everything as “I,” gives us that singular Oneness throughout the universe which is called God, or the Self. We watch our body moving through life like an automaton. We let it go its way. And since we are not really that body, nothing that happens to that body can effect us. Even if it were crushed, it wouldn't mean much to us because we fully know that we are not that body. We know our eternal Beingness and we remain That! So, one who has attained the top state is difficult to distinguish from anyone else. He wiII go through the same motions of life and whatever he was doing before, he might continue to do. But his outlook on life is entirely different. He is completely egoless; he has no concern for his own body. He is interested in others and not in himself, he is interested in all humanity. Whatever he does has absolutely no ego motivation. His body will continue to live its normal span and usually goes out, in the eyes of the unknowing, the same way most bodies go out, via so-called death and coffin. But the one who was originally connected with that body never sees any of this death. He sees this entire world and body as an illusion that was created mentally just as we create scenes, cities and worlds in our night dreams. When we awaken, we realize there never was such a thing. And in the same way, when we awaken from this waking state, we see that the whole thing was a dream and never really was. That the only thing that ever was, was my Being, the absolute Reality, being all beingness, infinite, all perfect, all knowing, all powerful, omnipresent.

♡ Q: To not be the doer, don't you plan? Don't you do everything normally? Lester: No, the right way is not to plan. Let it happen. Let go and you'll be guided intuitively. Instead of planning with thought, you'll do the exactly right thing, perfectly at the right moment, from moment to moment.

♡ Q: There is a situation where someone might take a position of that kind when he hasn't really felt it; for example, he will say, “I'll just stay in bed until I'm moved.” Meantime his rent isn't paid. Lester: So, he'll have to move! If we assume that we are there and are not, we are soon awakened to the fact that we are not there, see. Bob, I'm talking from a higher level now, the perfect state, where everything is in absolute harmony every moment. There you never think, and at every moment you know from within just the right thing to do. You're guided intuitively each and every moment and everything falls perfectly into line. Now, if you're not there, of course you have to think; you have to plan.

♡ Q: Well, in practice then, in the beginning, it's probably a combination of the two where things go very easily, and then there's a hump in which you have to plan. Lester: Definitely yes! In the top state you do by knowing; you just know from moment to moment. One feels “I know it!” That's just the way it feels and there's no thinking to it, only “I know it!” Q: I know from my own experience, I slip back and lay out a plan, but sometimes that plan comes very easily and quickly to me and sometimes I have to struggle like the devil to work it out, step by step and I don't know what's going to happen. Other times I just layout a plan and I know what's going to happen and I have no difficulty with it.

♡ Lester: The word “know” as you use it is the key. You know how that word feels when you say “I know it!” There's no doubt, not one iota of doubt there. And it happens. That's the key. That's the realm of knowingness. Make that all the time. Keep working for it until it comes and stays. The quickness with which we attain this is determined by the intensity of the desire for it. The more we desire this top state the sooner it comes. Everyone makes it eventually.

♡ Because of the state of affairs today, man is relatively low. We are very strongly convinced that we are a limited body and by long habit we are trying to hold onto it. So it's not easy to let go of this body, and because of that we need the grace of the Great Ones who in our eyes have passed on, but in their eyes, they're still here. When we recognize that they are still here, we can see them and talk to them the way we talk to each other. If we accept them partially, we can talk to them in a dream or a vision. The way we meet with them is determined by our acceptance of them. If anyone of us believed that he could go down to a restaurant and have a snack with Jesus, the way you believe you could do it with me, - if you had that much acceptance then you could do it..

♡ But the way He comes to us is determined by our acceptance of Him.

♡ The greatest humility is through surrender: not I but thou; it is not I, but the Father who worketh through me; everything I do is God's work, I am not the doer. It is surrender of the ego, the ego being a sense of separate individuality.

♡ The only thing that should concern us is what we do. For me, it matters not what your attitude is toward me. You could hate me with every cell in your body. But it's of extreme importance what my attitude is toward you. While you're hating me I should love you fully and completely.

♡ When we love, and only love, we are using the most formidable power in the universe. No one and no thing can harm us. We can never ever be hurt or unhappy if we would only just love without any hate.

♡ When you love fully you understand the other one fully. Love is understanding. It's identifying with the other one, being the other one. Coming down a step, it's wanting the other one to have what the other one wants, loving the other one, the way the other one is.

♡ Q: Then who is our enemy? Lester: In reality we have only one enemy and that's ourself. No one can do anything to us; no one can do anything for us. Someday you'll see this, that we in our consciousness determine everything that happens to us.

♡ Q: Then it is our idea of ourselves which is incorrect? Lester: Right. And that could be made better!

♡ Q: When you say understanding, do you mean understanding in a logical sense, or do you mean acceptance of them without question of the reason why they're doing things, good or bad; just acceptance of whatever they are in an entirety.

Lester: It's acceptance in an entirety. But the real understanding requires knowledge of what the universe and the world are. When we see someone doing wrong, we have to know that this is a god-being, misguided. He's looking for God in the wrong place. He's looking for happiness the way he sees it.

♡ Now this doesn't mean approving of his program, it doesn't. But whether we approve or not of his program, loving and hating are two different things than not approving of his program. So we love everyone, see them as misguided beings, forgive them for they know not what they do. They're like children, misguided. Attain the highest state of loving everyone equally as Christ did!

[becomingpart2]

It really bothers me how people inadvertently end up shitting on Skyler when the praise they send Kim's direction seems to rely on how good of a female character she is and by extension how relieved they are that we finally have a good one on the same level of the male characters. There's always this underlying tone that this universe finally has a complex female character worth talking about and getting invested into. And yes I agree that she is an interesting character but the underlying tone that seems to accompany that praise is a sense of putting down Skyler for being just "the wife" or, mostly, the battered housewife. It seems people are only ever interested in talking about her when they want to (rightfully) defend her from the misogynistic attacks she's suffered over the years or to talk about how much she suffered in universe. Not much about her as a character on her own, not much about how she's complex and interesting on her own.

I understand the need to highlight her suffering and how she was victim in all of Walt's bullshit (and unfortunately that is still needed) but I also think it's hypocritical and condescending (and a touch misogynistic on its own) to only ever see her as a victim and thus less of a character than someone like kim, that gets to be maker of her own ruin.

Skyler is not just the good loving mother that wants to protect her children from their father and the criminal world he inserted them into. She's also smart and funny and quick on her feet. She's able navigate and adapt to different environments and she does it well. She's proactive, she comes up with plans on her own; sometimes against Walt (ted, the pool incident), sometimes to help him and them (the carwash) and sometimes to help herself (the IRS thing or when she evades police by pretending to be in labor). She's also flawed like all good characters are.

There's a lof of the talk about how Kim has more agency, and while I think that's true and good on its own, it can often fall prey to the point of view that the only way for a female character to be a good character is if she dominates predominantly male spaces and make those her own. As if the only way to be interesting is if you do it in the same way men do. It's a little diminishing towards women that don't do that or aren't interested in doing that (I'd also call into question how effective is that agency when It's conveniently one that doesn't go against what the male partner wants).

It's interesting how I have seen people say that the reason some might not like Kim is because she's a woman that exhibits traits usually associated with men and how she's the one who "wears the pants" in her relationship with Jimmy. That's true but I think it's important to remember that misogyny doesn't make those kind of distinctions and while she might be hated because of that, more "traditional" female characters are hated just the same, if not more.

In fact, I'd argue that Kim is hated significantly less than Skyler ever was. A lot of the male viewers like her and most of the analysis you see of the show regards her as one of the best characters in television history.

It's also funny because that comment seems to imply that Skyler is the "traditional female character" archetype, the housewife that's only there to take the abuse and that's not true at all to Skyler or how she was received by audiences. A lot of the reason she was hated as much as she was (is?) is precisely because she didn't fit into the expectations of what a "good wife" should be like. Because she didn't bow down and take Walter's side, because she was too independent and didn't support "her man" when he needed, because she couldn't see where he was coming from (which, strangely enough, it's something Kim always does, regardless of why you think she does it, the fact is that she's always by Jimmy's side).

This is not an attempt to shit on Kim but rather to highlight how often the conversation surrounding her character seems to veer in the direction of inadvertantly putting down Skyler as "less" of a good female character when I would say both have strengths and weaknesses from a feminist standpoint.

[aangarchy]

Netflix atla live action review ep 7-8

Home stretch baby. I figured since i love the source material i should just be able to enjoy it, or at least be entertained by it somewhat. But even that was just not possible. I pirated it after the first three episodes just bc i didn't want to give netflix the satisfaction of a view.

It's not so much the acting, the costumes or even the bad/mediocre cgi, it's the writing. It's an absolute shitshow, a mess of the highest caliber. For someone who claims to love the source material, it really seems like Albert Kim didn't understand why a lot of the things in the original worked the way they did. Things that are important for character growth got removed, and lore that we normally don't see til later on in the show (or even in a completely different story within this universe!!) got crammed in. For no good reason too bc it doesn't really add anything, just gives us another obstacle or useless exposition that's supposed to explain another useless thing they added.

Both of the last episodes take place in the north pole. This makes sense somewhat because in the original all three of the last episodes took place there. The reason they did this in the original is to have room for all of the stories that still need to take place (pakku, zuko, spirit world, koh, waterbending training, sokka and yue etc.) However in this version, even though minutes wise we have more time, we have less story. Like way less. Also episode 7 proportionally is much shorter than 8 and it really gives issues with pacing.

Let's start with what annoyed me most. Where is the waterbending training? Where is it? The season's title is Water and Aang bent ZERO water this entire season unless he was in the avatar state. Katara "trains" yes, but it's mostly practicing moves she found on the scroll (which gran gran just gave to her? Why didn't this woman give it to her sooner???). She gets NO guidance from anyone, and the way she gets better at bending each time is because a BOY told her encouraging things. A BOY. In the OG we get Pakku saying "raw talent alone is not enough", which makes sense because bending in this universe is an extension of martial arts, and you have to train to become good at martial arts. This LA show however treated bending like a magic power, basically giving some mumbo jumbo about balance and a clear head and think of the people you love to become a better bender. And while yes, your mental headspace also is important (as highlighted in the original where zuko couldn't bend anymore bc he had no aggression left) it wasn't the only factor, it wasn't even the main factor.

When we arrive at the North Pole, Pakku and the chief of the North both expect Aang to help with battle strategy in order to stop the attack bc they're already aware it's coming. Aang tells them he doesn't really know how (wtf were they even expecting it mean that is a whole 12yr old) and they turn away going "guess we can't count on the avatar" like? Dude?? If they have such good intel that they already know the fire nation is preparing an attack, and that the Avatar is alive, how tf did you not hear that the Avatar is also 12 years old and far from a master of the four elements? Idk this weirded me out.

They removed the deserter episode, which means Aang doesn't renounce firebending, which means we get no storyline of Aang dealing with his conflicted feelings surrounding firebending because fire gives life, not just destruction. Katara also doesn't find out she can heal naturally. We just get told that healing is just a thing all waterbenders can do if they train for it. Katara's necklace has no significance at all in the story currently. Yugoda doesn't recognize that Katara is Kanna's granddaughter. Katara's gran gran being from the north originally doesn't play part in the story at all. Katara doesn't even once utter the words "this necklace used to be my mother's". Idk why that bothers me so much but it does. They also removed her rage at not being allowed to fight. Sure this show's Katara also goes to fight Pakku, but literally everytime she speaks she just sounds reasonable. She fights him not because she's So Enraged at not being allowed to become the master she's meant to be, but because the script demands it. She says it so matter of factly too. She's like a mellowed out shell of who Katara is supposed to be. I feel like this overall for her character in this show btw. I don't blame Kiawentiio bc i saw clips of her performance in other works (anne with an e notably) and she's good. This genuinely just seems like poor writing and directing. They removed all of Katara's passion. She's not warm, she's not feisty, she's not angry, she's not nurturing, she's also not flawed at all. I hate to say it but in this version she's giving Mary Sue, especially bc she just learns waterbending on her own, and then gets called a master out of nowhere. That's not how that's supposed to work. You're supposed to earn the term master.

Let's talk about Yue. Amber Midthunder is a great actress, but damn, that wig. Their budget was over 100 million dollars and yet they couldn't give my girl a lace front? Her wig was so structured and stiff, and if it were any other context like cosplay or a drag show this would have been perfect. Now it just looked really unnatural and instead of the hair being platinum it was gray. Yue's character got given more to do here. They changed the story to have her break her own engagement, but it's implied that the reason she did this is bc she met Sokka in the spirit world and... fell in love? Idk it was a bit weird. Both Suki and Yue were inexplicably entranced with Sokka. In the OG it's implied that Yue likes Sokka bc he's so different from the boys in the north, kind of like a city girl falling in love with a country boy. But here it feels different, he doesn't stand out at all compared to the other boys, and Hahn isn't a dickhead like the OG. I will say i like that Yue is a stronger character here. She takes charge of her own destiny and she is the one to realize that she can save the moon spirit, and wasn't told by someone else that she could do it. I am confused by them making her a waterbender, but i'm not mad at that change per se. I liked her sacrifice scene, her own acting was great. Sokka however... i genuinely burst out laughing, like so loud. The zoom in on his face, the expression, it was too much and too little at once. Overall, Yue's story was okay. Was it better than the original? Debatable. But it wasn't bad and that's a win.

We get Avatar Kuruk way earlier than we originally got him. I'm still kind of confused about the whole "you can talk to past Avatars but only in their shrine with their statue" thing, because if that's the case how in the hell is Aang ever gonna ask advice from Roku (or Kyoshi, since the writers clearly have a bias towards her and want to make her the main Avatar guide ig) without having to travel all the way to the shrine? Can they only talk in the one specific shrine or can we take a miniature set of Avatar action figures with us just in case we ever need advice? Also this lore abt the shrines and statues is flawed at best bc later on Kuruk shows up for Aang during the fight, while they're not present at the shrine. Either way, Kuruk was far from the go with the flow Avatar he was characterized as in the original. I know that we got some insight into Kuruk's story in the Kyoshi novels, and turns out it's a lot darker than expected, but Kuruk never let that change his character. He always remained chill, or at least kept up the facade, and i don't think OG Kuruk would be the type of man that is angry about how his life turned out. In this version, Kuruk is this scared, mean, bitter man who is really unsatisfied with his destiny, which he lashed out at Aang for. He seemed really angry at Aang to for no good reason. We're also not supposed to know this part about Kuruk's life yet. It's too much information and de waste time learning about his life story, the only reason we learn it in the first place is to explain the Special Spirit Killing Knife. Also the actor for Kuruk.... yikes bro. Idk which hallmark movie they pulled him from but he and his stupid polar bear hat looked like ass the whole time.

So there's this weird part about Kuruk having a Special Knife that is able to kill spirits. Idk if this is a thing from the Kyoshi novels that also made it into this show bc truth be told i haven't made it far into those novels yet at all, but it was strange to me. Somehow Zhao has this knife. We don't know how he ended up getting it (did the fire sage give it to him? I didn't see it but i might have missed it) and we pretend that this is the Only Thing that can kill spirits even when the spirits are mortal. Doesn't that negate the fact that the spirits are mortal, if they can only be killed by a Special Knife? Also there's this weird convoluted part about how the spirits actually live in the spirit world and only cross to the physical world once every ice moon to know what it feels like to be "mortal" and choose a different "mortal" form each time and this time they happened to be fish. But still, they can Only Be Killed By The Special Knife. Huh? What's the purpose of this added extra lore? I saw someone say the underlying point is that it shouldn't be this easy to kill spirits but.... that's the whole idea behind the Ocean and Moon spirits having permanent mortal forms? Them being mortal and choosing a form as insignificant as a fish, constantly circling each other to represent the precarious balance between Ocean and Moon, a balance that can be thrown off very easily. The whole point was that they're fragile so why add all this extra exposition for no reason? Why make the spirits harder to kill if in the end you're still just gonna have a guy stabbing a wet bag and not some rough spirit killing battle?

Zhao also just gets told by the fire sage that killing the moon is a thing he can do. I don't like what this changes about Zhao's character. Zhao is supposed to be this cunning man. He's scary, determined, strategically inclined, but alas overconfident and willing to go too far which ends up being his downfall. His ambition is what led him to do his own research by visiting a spirit library to find any weakness he could potentially exploit, and that's precisely what he found. In the original, Zhao always fought for his own career. His own accomplishments got him the tools to try and beat Zuko in the Avatar race. But in this version, Zhao just keeps getting handed things. He's a slippery snake that plays friends with Zuko and then tries to steal the glory from under his nose. He gets handed the archers, he gets handed the information on the moon spirit, he gets handed a war balloon (which completely ruins the surprise of the fire nation suddenly having air power at the invasion), and he gets helped by Azula of all people. It makes him look a bit chumpy in this story, and it really worsens his villain qualities.

On a completely other note, this LA seems to have a thing for making adults yell at a 12yr old Avatar for leaving the world behind, and it doesn't make any sense, because in this story Aang left on Appa for a joyride to clear his head. Aang didn't purposely leave. He had every intention of returning after an hour. Yet every adult in this show, even the past Avatars that know damn well Aang didn't flee from his responsibilities, yells at him bc he accidentally got encased in ice. And somehow this Aang gets made to feel worse about it than OG Aang even though he deserves it way less bc this Aang didn't actually run away! I don't like what this changes about Aang's character. In the OG, Aang has one fatal character flaw and that's avoiding responsibility. He runs away, and has problems with taking accountability for what his actions cost the world. He goofs around, plays games and likes to have fun to avoid having to face his destiny, all while carrying the guilt and blame for the century war. It's a huge part of Aang's character journey. The guilt he feels isn't misplaced bc Aang knows he ran off, and he knows that the world is in its current state because of his decision. In the end he takes responsibility by showing up to the fight with Ozai alone. In this LA, even though by all means Aang shouldn't feel responsible, he ends up taking responsibility right away. He goes to Kyoshi Island, not to goof around and ride giant koi, but because he knows he can talk to Kyoshi there. Kyoshi yells at him for leaving (again, why? She knows he didn't run away) and gives him a vision about the watertribe getting destroyed. Instead of panicking about it (like OG Aang did after finding out abt the comet) he just accepts that he needs to go and help. And while this Aang does get to have fun moments (i especially loved how in the first episode he sees playing watertribe children and immediately joins them, that was quintessential Aang), he just seems very down and serious a lot of the time. He's scared of people getting hurt and is very worried abt the safety of his friends to the point where he agrees with Pakku and tells Katara she shouldn't fight. It's not Aang at all bc OG Aang was rooting for Katara when she fought Pakku. To sum it up: i think the casting for Aang was perfect. A cute southeast asian skater kid that loves to have fun and genuinely just looked the part? Brilliant! I am genuinely not upset at Gordon's performance at all (although sometimes i wish he'd enunciate a bit better). But the writing messed up the character so much that i couldn't even feel the joy for having the perfect looking Aang. I will say Koifish Godzilla (Koizilla if you will) looked dope. What did confuse me abt the Koizilla scenes is that sometimes there was no music (which is a choice i often like bc it gives the scene extra gravitas) and then sometimes there was a majestic score playing in the back, like they couldn't choose how they were gonna execute it and just picked both. I know that's nitpicky but it bothered me nonetheless.

Speaking of Koizilla. Wtf was that thing they added about Aang "succumbing" to the ocean spirit and being "lost"? They didn't even explain it at all, but both Yue and Iroh talked about how Aang would be lost forever now. We don't get a why, we don't get a how. And "lost" is such a vague word for it too. Like would his spirit be lost and only his body remain? Would he be completely swallowed up by the ocean? Would he remain Koizilla, forever rampaging at the ice wall? They added this for extra tension i guess, but it doesn't really work when only minutes later Aang is able to return no problem bc Katara talked him out of it, so we don't even get to find out what "he'll be lost forever" means. Also: the scene with Katara talking Aang out of it was cute, but the execution was weird. Originally Katara gives this speech when Aang goes Avatar state at the southern airtemple. I like that they still kept Katara's speech to Aang bc it highlights their bond which is especially important for later on in the show, but I don't like how now Katara had to give this really heartfelt emotional speech to Aang in front of everyone else at the northern watertribe. It's supposed to be quite an intimate moment between her, Sokka and Aang as a new family, they're supposed to promise they won't let anyone harm him, which eventually calms him down. Here though Katara's just yelling these words at him in front of everyone and all the intimacy is gone. It also doesn't work as well bc we barely got any time of the gaang bonding. They spend episode 3-6 apart most of the time, so really they shouldn't feel this bond towards each other just yet. Because this LA removed a lot of the side adventures, we don't get the feeling that these kids have known each other for months.

Another thing they removed is Appa and Momo as characters. In the original they each get their own moments, we even got one whole episode with Appa as the main character (which won an award btw). Here though, Appa is solely used as a transportation animal and Momo... honestly i don't even remember what he does but i think it's mostly a small comedic bit? Also he hands the acorn to one of the characters. This is a bad change bc in these episodes Momo gets hurt so bad he nearly dies, and it has no emotional impact at all bc he's just an accessory in this story. I felt no emotional attachment to Momo and he just has no personality. I wonder how this choice is gonna play out when we get the kidnapped Appa story bc so far it's not looking good.

Anyway, for positives. I warmed up on Dallas's performance a lot, i wasn't that mad at Ian Ousley's performance and there were moments where he genuinely made me laugh. The cgi for the creatures was decent, but for the backgrounds it looked horrible. I liked that they showed how devastating the Seige of the North ended up being, with the unnamed kid and Hahn both dying. I liked the effect showing those two had on our main characters. I liked when Aang, Sokka and Katara all worked together taking out that one firenation ship. I liked the way they showed Sokka and Yue bonding. I really warmed up to the costumes as well, i still wish they dirtied it up a little to make them look less new.

There's probably some more positives but they're really minor compared to the negatives and also my brain is just done atp. I'm never gonna rewatch it for more analysis either bc i don't think i'll survive it lol. I might make another post abt my opinion on the show as a whole? Like an overall summary? Bc this shit is VERY long and i do apologize. If you made it this far, uhm. Thanks for caring abt my opinion so much that you sat down for like 10 minutes to read my angry yapping? I appreciate it.

Anyway bye

[the-blind-assassin-12]

INTRODUCING: TERRIFIC TWOSDAY because what's better than one rec? that's right, two.

Happy Tuesday, everyone! ... Or should I say TWOSDAY? In an effort to get through my TBR list and to shout about things I've been meaning to shout about for far too (two) long, I am going to be turning every Tuesday into Two Recs Day. I'll be highlighting two works in each category that I loved and that I know you'll love, too (2)! Check them out, and remember to show some love to the creators!!

Two Series Recs: This week, I am going with two series that are currently in progress. I know that finished works often get a lot of focus. As they should! I can tell you first hand that seeing a whole series through to the end is a TALL ORDER. But you know what is also very freaking cool? Hopping on board while the train is still in motion, catching up with previous chapters and waiting excitedly to see where the train is taking you! So without further ado, here are the two trains that I recommend you all hop on this week.

LIMINALITY by @something-tofightfor

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Wolf AU + “forbidden romance”

9 Parts in so far (plus extras + POV switches)

Thrills. Chills. Swoons. Moons. This story is brimming with excitement and adrenaline… not to mention the heat. (Frankie is a whole entire menace, as he should be.) All the guys are here (yes, that does include Tom 🙄) and they are all captured so perfectly, as is their friendship with one another and with Frankie. It features a very confident, brave, badass reader, ancient lore, supernatural elements, family business, and one heck of a connection between our main characters. Every chapter flies by and leaves you wanting - needing - more, and now is an excellent time to let yourself get hooked on this one, because the action is only ramping up from here!

PASSENGER by @whatsnewalycat

Din Djarin x OFC!Charlie

Modern Trucker AU + dog Grogu

6 Parts in so far

Are you looking for a new OC to fall in love with and want to protect with your life? How about a morally gray long-hauler who moonlights as a bounty hunter? Well you’re in luck because this story has BOTH. It’s also got incredibly high stakes juxtaposed with really sweet, human moments. Charlie is one of the most charming OCs I’ve ever met (which happens to be one of her rules to live by- all of which are good advice for anyone to follow, IMO) and Din’s characterization is so very well done - as is Grogu’s. The theme of delivering the bounty vs doing what’s right is very present and extremely well done, and watching these characters warm up to each other and blur the lines is truly a treat. Get caught up and hitch a ride for the rest of the journey, because I know it’s only going to get better from here!

Two One Shot Recs:

GREATEST OF ALL TIME by @gnpwdrnwhiskey

Dieter Bravo x OFC!Ava

Meet cute + “Do you believe in aliens?”

Dieter needs a break from work and the hullabaloo that comes along with it, and has enlisted the help of his assistant to book him a solo getaway so he can just relax, reset and revive the vibes. Sounds great, right? It is, until he gets turned around and off the beaten track in the middle of the desert and meets the enigmatic Ava and her faithful pal Goat… who might be more than your average Great Dane. After a misunderstanding about where he’s supposed to be, Dieter realizes that the airstream desert oasis under the stars is exactly where he’s meant to be.

LIKE FATHER, LIKE DAUGHTERS by @sixhours

Joel & Ellie

Part of an existing universe

Even though I’ve not yet read the series that this one shot takes place in, it’s immediately gone on my list due to this little interlude. This is such a good character study of Joel and of Ellie - of what they’ve been through, what they want for each other, and how their relationship has grown and changed. It’s got some really beautiful lines and heartwarming/heartbreaking feelings. I love these two forever and ever, and this little slice of life shows just how much they love each other, too. Joel Miller is Dad of the century. Period. The end.

Two Art Recs:

Ezra & Cee Jammin’ by @thekawaiifruitworld

Literally every time this artist draws these two, my heart grows ten sizes to accommodate how much more I love them. JUST LOOK AT THEM! So goofy, so happy, so whole and healthy and and and..!

Joel Strummin’ by @nic0o-o

I whimpered when I first saw this masterpiece, and you will, too. Just go. Just go look. Look at his beauty. I dare you not to be in your feelings about this man after seeing this piece.

[starryoak]

Thoughts on Undertale Yellow

Just wanted to write some thoughts down on this amazing game! Spoilers below, obviously.

I’m going to split my thoughts into the positive and negative, because while it is an amazing game, there were a couple pretty significant flaws that IMO brought down the experience.

THE POSITIVES

This game positively oozes creativity and passion from every pore. The fact that I’m going to be complaining about some things shouldn’t take away from the fact that this is an amazing game that took 7 years to develop, and clearly shows in how polished as a product it is. The criticisms, when they come, should be taken as just a part of life; nothing can be perfect, and I don’t think that pretending that a game is flawless does it any favors. It’s certainly better than I can do, just for releasing a finished product, lmao.

This game is visually gorgeous. Obviously it’s still a pixel art game in the style of the original game, so it keeps itself simplistic, but there are so many little animations throughout that are so smooth and charming that I really was impressed. Genuinely just very pleasing to look at, from the animation to the character designs, which fit perfectly in to Undertale’s universe, which I found very impressive.

The game’s humor is very reminiscent of Undertale, and I was really surprised by how much the incidental dialogue and setpieces felt like they would fit right in with Undertale’s humor, while still being original and clever in its own right.

The game’s worldbuilding was really impressive to me, it felt like the Dunes fit perfectly into the Underground in such a natural way, the lore of the Wild East, I really loved the underlying story of how it used to be the Meadows before the Mines uncovered a massive swelterstone, a giant heat generating gemstone that slowly turned it into the desert it is in the present. It felt very true to the melancholy nature of the Underground and how the Monsters are running out of space, wishing on gemstones in the ceiling because they’ve never seen the stars, it just really clicked.

The story is just. So good. Well, up until a point. I’ll get to that in the negatives, but like. 80-90% of the story is just full of the same infectious fun that Undertale itself had, Starlo’s antics and getting accosted into being his deputy, the rest of his gang, the Wild East in general, game just really gets you to love these characters so much. And in the Neutral Route, killing Starlo and how it leaves his family worried about his sudden disappearance, how nobody really suspects you, it’s a very good gut punch! Starlo is definitely the highlight of the game, but he’s not the only one, just one that really was plain to see.

The ending and final boss of the Neutral Route is just. Very brilliant. Yes, technically a retread of Omega Flowey from canon, but it’s just so good at it that it can really get away with it, it takes it even a little further than canon in very fun ways. The art is just fucking gorgeous in every way, I’m so impressed by what they pulled off with that. Bravo, bravo.

In general, there are so many little details that really shine in the different playthroughs, like El Bailador’s fight in Merciless reverting to the traditional bullet box gameplay instead of the Guitar Hero style it normally takes, stuff like the long final chase in the Steamworks changing from Axis chasing you to you chasing Axis in Merciless, the music in battles being unique for each area and also if you’re in Pacifist/Neutral vs Merciless, it’s incredibly impressive and really helps set the mood.

Most of all, what I found the best part of the game, and really the most interesting and amazing, was the innovation in the battles! Undertale did a lot of fun things, but I felt like this game really pushed the limits of what I was expecting from the bullet box gameplay style. Stuff like aforementioned fight with El Bailador’s Guitar Hero gameplay and the way his fight changes in Genocide, Starlo’s lasso holding you in place and how you have to snap the rope, not just the unique bosses; even the regular enemies have incredibly clever attacks, like Goosic’s attacking in the same side of the bullet box as the music is coming out of your speakers/headphones, genuinely just very interesting and clever. They clearly thought a lot on how to innovate the gameplay of Undertale, and it really worked. Incredible, really, cannot praise the gameplay enough.

THE NEGATIVES

This is most likely going to be an unpopular opinion, but I did not like Martlet, and she’s such a major character that not liking her is a problem when we spend so much of the game with her. For one, the audio clip used for her dialogue was grating, but that’s really a minor quibble. The more important reason I disliked her is that it felt like the game was constantly yelling in my face “LOOK HOW FUN AND QUIRKY THIS CHARACTER IS (: DON’T YOU FIND HER CUTE AND/OR RELATABLE?”. There were times when she was enjoyable, but the overall experience felt like they were trying to recreate Papyrus without really succeeding at making her an interesting or unique character. The fact that she’s the final boss in the Merciless Route feels very… predictable. Like, there wasn’t really a possibility that she wouldn’t be, y’know? They couldn’t avoid it, what with the decision to parallel canon, they were going to have to have someone be Undyne the Undying/Sans. The thing is, the boss itself isn’t bad, because as mentioned above, the actual mechanics of this game are brilliant, but narratively it felt very expected. Plus, I don’t really remember if they ever adequately explain why she has the serum in the first place, it feels like it raises too many questions.

As I said, like 80/90% of the story is really good!… but the thing is that the entire last bit of the Pacifist ending just completely collapses in on itself, and it’s really such a shame, because the rest of the story is dragged down by it. What’s such a shame is how it felt like it was going somewhere, I was incredibly invested right up until the reveal of the tapes, and the somewhere it was going is just. So disappointing. In some ways it was inevitable, what with Clover’s canon fate being what it is, but it felt like, just like with Martlet, they really stumbled over themselves in their desire to parallel canon’s plot beats. It feels like they wanted to copy the original Pacifist ending, with the Amalgamates and all, and it just wasn’t a good fit for the story whatsoever. Part of it, admittedly, is just that I disagree with their take on Boss Monsters not being specifically Asgore and Toriel’s species, but the thing is, it’s not just that. Chujin in general just feels like a massive tumor on the plot once he stops being a robotics engineer and suddenly for some reason is a generic mad scientist who suddenly has the knowledge and ability to be experimenting on Not!Determination and suddenly is a Boss Monster and suddenly we’re supposed to care about him and it just all becomes a muddled mess, built around living up to twists that it can’t successfully emulate because they were a one time success.

Ceroba is just not compelling as a character! The thing is, actually, I’m lying, she’s compelling and fun and interesting as a character right up until they actually reveal what her deal is, and suddenly it’s just, like. Well, suddenly I don’t like her all that much. Her husband specifically asked her not to involve their daughter, and then her daughter asks nicely and she does? Her daughter is like six or something! Why on Earth did Ceroba listen to her? I saw people say that, well, lots of Undertale characters have done bad things, but the thing is that those bad things are either not taken very seriously by the narrative, like how everyone tries to kill Frisk before they make friends and are forgiven, or make logical sense for them to do, like Asgore’s whole deal. Ceroba and Kanako’s story is in a unique cross section of ‘taken seriously by the narrative’ and ‘makes no logical sense to do’, where it completely destroyed my investment in her as a character, where suddenly she’s a woman who killed her daughter through her own stupidity against her husband’s wishes, while claiming she’s fulfilling them. And in another world, that could be compelling, but the game doesn’t seem to recognize that’s what she did, so I’m just left feeling numb to her entire deal, and given she’s the final boss with multiple cutscenes where I’m supposed to be invested in her plight, that’s not a good thing!

This is just a completely unfair nitpick, but what’s up with Ceroba’s name? The rest of her family and her last name follow Japanese style, if not specifically real names, but her first name is just. Gibberish?

This one is more nitpicky, but it ties into the final problem of the game, where felt like the 5 previous children didn’t get mentioned enough for being the entire motivation Clover has for being here. They’re mentioned in passing several times, but it feels like they could have done more with it. This is mostly a minor problem, though, it felt much more like something that needed just a little tweaking, rather than a huge flaw or anything. But the problem is that at the end, it really doesn’t feel like Clover has a compelling reason to give up their SOUL, and I wish there was something more to justify it when they just spent a huge fight to not give up their SOUL to Ceroba, y’know? It just feels like the game falls apart at the end because they couldn’t figure out how to end it while keeping to canon.

The thing is, the complaints I have don’t detract from how fun the game was or how much I loved most of the story, but I just had to share them because they were weighing heavily on my mind. My complaints are so long because it’s easier to put into words what I disliked, when going into every little thing I liked would take much longer and feel more like a liveblog of the game itself.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Sabretooth War part 10

alrighty kids, we are FINALLY at the end of this mess. we all agree it won't be satisfactory, but let's see just how much of a let down it really is

It was 28* pages. the whole book was 55 pages. an average issue is 22 pages. i get it, it's the 50th milestone, and we're also doing the Wolverine anniversary, but sill... (*there are several splash pages/2-page spreads so my reader read those as singular pages, so it might more more??)

also, this is kinda one of the most lack luster out of the covers for this saga. it's not that engaging, it's kinda stock posed (especially for them) and it's just...not cool? we're at issue #50, we're doing anniversary stuff, this should be more appealing

we pick up where we left off; Logan vs Graydon on the beach while the Pit Gang and X-Force have ringside seats. Graydon saying his only goal in life is to be a wiener; yes, that's fine. Logan admitting he's a terrible parent after it's pointed out; that is good. Logan trying to talk Graydon into being a good guy; no. when Logan has done nothing but tear down Victor into being something pure evil that has no chance of redemption, as an immutable taint on existence itself, why would he assume anything connected to him could be anything good? do i think that; pft no, but i think Graydon's a wiener. but we're not talking about my perception, we're talking about Logan's and everyone in-universe. they all believe that the Creeds are vile and should be erased, that every bad action they have ever committed, no matter the reasoning behind it, is punishable. Graydon should NOT be exempt from that idea (not to mention he IS that terrible, deserves that treatment, and has NEVER tried to be anything other than that)

oh shutup, it would indeed

oh...never mind, the wiener boy is taken out IMMEDIATELY WITH NO FANFARE OR ANYTHING. WHY DID WE DEVOTE PLOT TO HIM IF HE'S USELESS AND WORTHLESS??? you built him up to be a big bad, but nope, he died like a wiener like he always does. i'd be less mad about this if we hadn't devoted such a big deal to his return and betrayal and yaddayadda. because you know what; those pages could've been used to develop the SabreSquad, or to delve into Vic's psyche better, or heck even give the Pit Gang or X-Force more to do (yes i'd've been hap[pier to have given more time to make the OTHER superfluous parts more important). but no, we have Victor's biggest regret in life show up to highlight his own shortfalls and vulnerabilities...to just get unceremoniously stabbed and dead yet again. he made no impact on anything, aside from a board wipe that could've been completed with those idiotic Stark Sentinels.

there is indeed no justice in this world

Logan's line could be impactful of we'd ACTUALLY took the time to point out the times he HAD CARED about people, and contrasted that against how his acre for them were their ultimate doom. we BRIEFLY touched that with Birdy, Holo, Bonnie, and heck even Graydon; he cared for each of them, and as a result they each died...and in the case of Graydon he sacrificed his own humanity to save him from hell only to see wiener boy not make something better of himself; with that second chance but just perpetuate the Creed curse of self hate taken out on the world enmass. seeing THAT should've been heart breaking. instead we get a dick measuring contest

but see that's the thing, this isn't about Victor's tortured psyche and his fall from grace, this is about "those with the powers make the rules" and "might makes right" and "unhinged animal vs the calm of man" or something, because of those lines up there, "You got no powers little man" "I don't need powers to put you down"

their powers are being animals; Victor has always embraced and not denied his nature, while Logan has always had to "fight the animalistic urges" and thus has made himself the pariah that all love. now he doesn't have that crutch; he has no powers, he is just man, while Victor has looked inward and rejected his own humanity to embrace nothing but the animalistic rage and power that brings. it is savagery vs civilized. but it's not done well, not at all...

good ra that was all before the opening text crawl X.x

last cast lineup, and Arkady is still absent despite being on screen, while Aurora and Northstar are still present despite not being in the book since part 2 or 3

no, nothing on the island works, where have you been

who are you to talk Mr OC, we still don't know you, none of us know you and none of you actually know Victor

i can't...i can't keep commentating on every little thing...

oh that's nice, a panel of Laura and Arkady fighting together to distract and calm me down (does he not have a ponytail?? is that one of my hair styles???)

we leave the B Teams to deal with the remainder of the Sentinels, so Victor and lure Logan away from them to go fight alone in the jungle. ok, fine, movement, logical progression for the stupid in progress. ok. we're in the Blob's tiki bar i think? fight scene, mysterious tunnel, mk......to the Council of Dumb's chambers. wtf. actually you know what, no, idc; the island is fallen into ruins, screw logical architecture. fine, Council chamber

he's mind melded with the Pit. i...fine. makes enough sense, eat Logan now please

he's not gonna stay down there though is he?

oh look another panel composed to distract and calm me down strategically placed (who's watching me????)

so yeah, Logan's gets eaten by the Pit and internal monologs about how Vic isn't playing fair by doing this now (baby >< )

the skewed panel borders are a very nice subtle unnerving detail; kuddos layout team

that aside, interesting that that's Zora/Silver Fox II

i am actually into this sequence...to bad it's cut far too short

i'll assume it's because of Tom they got pulled out, but where'd Laura's backup mask come from?

oh no it was the Cuckoo. that's dumb. you're dumb

X-Force all gangs up on Victor while eth Pit Gang sits back and smirks, and Cuckoo is going all holier and mightier than thou until Logan says "leave him to me"...

oh and he has his powers back because the Forge Armor had a Deus ex Machina in it to fix him. so once again, another highly built up plot point of super duper importance is just swept away pointlessly

splash page of pointlessness!

and another

sadly that's how the writers think about YOU Victor

so Logan cuts off Vic's hands, then move sin for the killing blow with the internal monolog being all "this is for my friends and family and all the people you ever hurt blahblahblah"

why is Graydon on the symbolic revenge reflection? he was a BAD GUY WHO WANTED TO MURDER YOU. i just...i can't, this is dumb

and he's dismembered. i'm not going to show that because i have used far too many images already and it's not even that intriguing. Logan is standing over a dismembered pile of Victor with a satisfied smirk while the B Teams stand behind him also smirking, and there's an angelic triumphant glow as if this is all super good and was super hard. all hail our infallible savior Wolverine >>

epilogue time; Cuckoo and sitting on a cliff with Quinthead (don't worry he gets better), the Pit Gang fly off into the sunset (don't worry Pya comes back), Logan stares into said sunset internal monologuing about how Krakoa was the best ever and he's learned to love again or something (i can't be bothered to care at this point) before looking to X-Force and taking up leadership of them for the umpteenth time.

SO as a FINALE to this whole 10 part saga...it's about on par with the rest. overly graphic for the sake of unpleasantness, and sacrificing actual character depth to make Logan look like the best eva and Vic is the ultimate evil that needs to be put down foreva and eva. as a Finale to the Lavalle trilogy...it's terrible. it was completely mishandled, so many threads started and left loosely hanging. what little character depth it had was probably from Lavalle, but he should've touched it more. this was a story that we've done before; we didn't tread on any new ground. the biggest new thing was the over the top gratuitous gore fest and that is not appealing. being unpleasant for the sake of being unpleasant is not appealing.

and honestly, i'm sticking to my conspiracy theory that Arkady was supposed to not appear in this at all. the panels in this issue were less drawn in afterwards to me, BUT his contributions were very nil and his inclusion did not add anything.

uhg i have half this issue left for just bonus Logan celebration stuff...do i care enough to do it? ok, sure, summaries though

Mutants on the edge of town: well it looks 97ish. some soda shop jerk kid has a Sentinel in hid barn...i find it very sus that doesn't know/recognize it as a Sentinel, but whatever. Logan and Jubes check it out and it wakes up so fight. interesting that it could detect heterochromia and defines THAT as a mutation worth capturing, thought it went after X-genes. but it blows up, the end. it's a fine enough bonus story i guess.

Endless: ah Percy, still at it with the overlt dramatic internal monolpg that sounds super deep and important but is just not. however i give you, he's Logan your life is one giant circle because we must repeat reapeat repeat.

oh...ok i know i said no pics for these, but this...this i liek and approve. you actually acknowledge that Arkady has become a good boy and that Beast is terrible. i...ok i give you a point for this sequence, thank you.

other than that, it's kind of an even more abridged Life of, but also the goodbye letter i guess since this is Percy's last run with Logan (except it's not)

then there's his actual good bye letter. and then solicits for other wolverine to read until the new titles launches in Sept with some previews that look very similar to Origin...repeatrepeatrepeat

so once again, the easiest summery: Victor is dead-dead yet again (he was decapitated, so there's a chance it'll stick (but Savage wasn't decapitated...) ), Arkady isn't dead and still with X-Force, Daken is dead-dead, Laura 2 is not dead, Graydon is dead yet again, and Logan sucks. the end

now to wait for August with the anniversary special *dead*

[quillyfied]

Hellaverse Theories: Helluva Boss S1E7 and S1E8

Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! Finishing up Season 1 of Helluva Boss with this post! As always, spoilers for the s2.5 trailer speculation and we all know the O in Blitzo is silent so let’s get on with it, assuming the severe weather that’s passing through now lets me! (Spoiler alert: it kind of did. Halfway. You'll see later on.)

Starting with s1e7:

This is not one of my favorite episodes, but it does have so much good character development and theory meat to chew on, so I will push through the secondhand embarrassment and sadness. Just for you, lovelies.

I wonder what the sigil Loona activates goes to; it’s too squiggly for Stolas’. But the focus on it also makes me think it’s foreshadowing. Just gonna file that away with my “IMP and Stolas are legally boned” theory. Maybe one of the cameras in the DHORKS facility managed to get a look at the page of the grimoire that gets them back to Hell. Hmm. The outline of the portal is also red flames, which feels…different? Heck. I haven’t been paying much attention. But I’m pretty sure I thought grimoire portals were more purple and sparkly. Maybe that’s just Stolas’ portals.

Blitzo inviting himself along to MnM’s dates is one of his more underrated unhinged behaviors, imo; would love to see it pop up in fics more (and the ones that play with it, you have my sword and my heart). But he’s SO EXCITED. It breaks my heart for him a little. Moxxie has every right to be mad about it and frankly he really should be; go find and celebrate your own boring as fuck monogamy, Blitzo :P

Alright, 1:56 we start seeing the elevators that get Hellborn folks around the rings of Hell—and whaddya know, it matches up with the ring models that pop up in the background of Hazbin Hotel. Gosh I hope these two shows still exist in the same universe. It just makes me a little happier to think about. Oh, look, an Exorcist angel on the back of the newspaper Blitzo is hiding behind. Classic. Though it seems the Loo Loo Land fire is still front-page news. Is Hell for Hellborn really that boring? Or is it an old newspaper? Well, either way, it’s most likely just an easter egg rather than an earnest thing so eh.

A delightful detail: even the dumpsters in Lust are neon-lit XD (or possibly UV reactive? Unclear).

STOLAS MY SAD BIRD SON.

(Also lol at how Stolas and Blitzo are both looking for an Alejandro :P)

This episode also is really good at highlighting all the painful underlying cracks in Stolas and Blitzo’s situation as it stands: Stolas’ naïve romantic obsession, Blitzo’s general assholery in using Stolas to get in to spy on his employees and ignoring Stolas once he gets what he wants, the way they can’t really carry on a conversation, the mismatched desires, and that’s all BEFORE Fizz makes his grand debut and the night goes straight to the toilet for them. I don’t blame folks who protested at this point that Blitzo doesn’t care much for Stolas, because it sure doesn’t seem like it. All Blitzo does in public is gripe about him and forbid him from diddling his holes, and in private he’s thorough but not really emotionally engaged. Yet, there’s still the fumbling to describe their relationship in the Harvest Moon Festival and the whole Truth Seekers hallucination that places Stolas pretty high on Blitzo’s emotional radar. Stolas’ feelings are pretty unambiguous, but his life situation is anything but, at least as far as pursuing any kind of relationship with Blitzo goes. Would Stolas like that? Yes, I think he would. But he’s still married and still figuring himself out. Second adolescence, I’ve heard it described. So much about Stolas feels…stunted. Juvenile. Like a man who’s finally discovering himself and letting himself be who he wants and is rather than who he’s expected to be. But more speculation on that front later, because this necessary but horrific train wreck has to play out first.

He's putting Gabriella’s streak in his feathers, KILL ME HE WANTS THE FANTASY TO BE REAL SO BADLY. You know what else this show does really well? Debunking the inexperienced hopeless romantic’s fantasies. Which isn’t painful at all and doesn’t at all hit way too close to home I’M FINE IT’S FINE.

“This is our first real date, after all!”

“Oh, yeah…I guess this is, huh.”

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGK

Like do you all GET IT? Do you FEEL how painfully mismatched that is?? It makes me want to break down crying, because for sheltered kids who lived out their escapism in books and TV and thought life was going to go a certain way because that’s the way it is in all the stories, this reality check, while necessary, is SO PAINFUL. Blitzo is no Romeo (Alejandro?), he’s no knight swooping in on a horse to sweep a prince off his feet, he’s not the daring rogue charging in at the last minute to save his beloved from a terrible fate (yet, I see u s2.5 trailer). Blitzo is just a guy. A royally messed up guy, but a guy nonetheless. And it’s that guy that is still so worth loving, once Stolas can wrestle the fantasies out of his system, and unfortunately this episode is the hard knock his brain needs. And it’s the tenderizing that Blitzo might unfortunately need to break down his own shell and examine what he really wants, the behaviors that he’s stuck in but doesn’t want to be. We haven’t even GOTTEN IN THE DOOR OF THE CLUB YET and I am a WRECK.

Can you IMAGINE being that bouncer, throwing out this sleazeball, only for him to show up half an hour later with a FUCKING PRINCE on his arm?? Blitzo’s game is insane.

Shoutout to the imp waiter who preps Blitzo’s chair with books, you’re doing great sweetie. (I wonder if it would be more condescending to produce booster seats for imps and smaller demons, or less.)

Double shoutout to Stolas’ little butler imp, whose name I don’t believe we know but I’ve heard Pringles enough times to become attached to it, who is rightfully having the night of his life (eat it Blitzo, your game might be insane but it’s got nothing on this guy). I’ve only seen screenshots of this, it always navigates away too fast for me to notice, but I hit the pause button jackpot tonight, folks. Also interesting that imps and other Hellborn are allowed to intermingle as much as they want, it’s just the upper crust that aren’t allowed to mix. Which tracks, but it still surprises me at the mixture of surprisingly realistic and almost mundane fantasy racism and classism that this show is choosing to play with, for a comedy.

This is just. So painful to watch. Mostly Stolas’ overcompensation for Blitzo’s full detachment. Well, not FULL detachment; he does respond to Stolas’ questions, at least. But the way Stolas is full-on twitching and vibrating trying to be a good date while Blitzo is a terrible stalker…lol look his way indeed lol lol lol. “What made you decide to ask me out after all this time?” “UUUUHHHH—” And the way Stolas’ face just FALLS, ARGH. (Don’t worry, Blitzo, your vindication is coming—only it also sucks and we’re all weeping, it’s fine it’s fine it’s FINE.)

FIZZAROLLI!! I don’t remember when the penny dropped about Fizz’s scarring but I know when it did, I was kinda horrified. And like most people, I didn’t really care for Fizz and Oz, just based on how characters I was already fully on board with were reacting to them. Having the full picture now, I’m tickled that this is their introduction, because once again it’s putting the entire audience on the back foot about them and it’s GLORIOUS. Because Blitzo with the Loo Loo Land Fizzbot? Priceless, hilarious. Blitzo with the actual source? OOF. Wow. You can taste the juicy backstory already. And Fizz doesn’t disappoint; he’s a joy to watch work, even if his entire jester schtick seems so incongruous with the exclusive Lust Ring club atmosphere (which honestly should have been my first clue that something was going On there but I was bingeing it all in one go or as close to one go as I could get, sue me).

He's such a bitch though. He’s SUCH a bitch. He and Ozzie are SUCH BITCHES. LET MOXXIE SING HIS STUPID SONG AND MOVE ON, YOU INSECURE OVERCOMPENSATING WAFFLEHEADS XD (and I see all of you cringing audience members, INCLUDING Blitzo and Stolas, BUMP OFF ALL OF YOU)

I do have to wonder the timeline on all of this, though. Like. Assumptions can be made that Blitzo adopted Loona about five years ago, maybe a little more. Sometime after that, Blitzo met Moxxie, and they started IMP, doing contracts on folks in Hell. And Millie joined after that, and she and Moxxie have been married for a year now but no clue on how long they dated before that. Hope that flashback of Blitzo and Millie meeting might give us some insight.

…listen, though. Moxxie goes overboard on the “I love yous” and I start to agree with his stupid audience. Uuuuugh hang on need to just. Crawl under a rock until we get past this one part.

Listen, Ozzie might look more like a shiny Haunter than a chicken, but designing the embodiment of Lust as a giant cock was the absolute funniest move anyone could ever make. Well played, Viv. Well played.

What is it with Alex Brightman and vocalizing the instrument solos? Because I’m here for it. Trumpet vs Guitar Solo, who would win?

Fizzarolli has a lapel flower that squirts piss. Of course he does. Weirdo. I love him.

It’s also interesting that this gig allows Fizzarolli and Asmodeus to basically be all over each other and it’s more or less fine. I mean, they’re fooling absolutely no one in-universe who’s been watching them for literally years, but for first-time real-world viewers…idk, I know I thought nothing of it when I first watched, mostly bc I was worried about Moxxie (and shortly Blitzo), but they read as Boss and Comedic Sidekick for folks who aren’t paying much attention and don’t really know what’s going on. I also find Fizz’s color scheme interesting; his eyes are almost more green than yellow and his teeth are often colored sort of greenish or bluish, I assume to make them stand out from his skin, but I wonder if these color abnormalities add to why Ozzie calls him Froggie.

BLITZO STANDS UP FOR AND PROTECTS HIS PEOPLE. Whether they want him to or not, but he does it, even knowing that Fizzarolli is not gonna be happy to see him. That’s BRAVE, okay!! Especially when Millie is more than capable of standing up for her and Moxxie both.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: Fizzarolli reacts pretty cool under pressure here for seeing Blitzo for the first time in fifteen years. Makes me wonder if they’d been hearing about each other on and off during that time (probably from Barb? But we don’t have confirmation that Fizz is still in contact with her either, do we?), so it’s less jarring, but WOW this confrontation with further context really stings. Even without the context, the way it plays out between the two of them speaks of bone-deep resentment on Fizz’s side, his razzing from earlier cranked up a notch. And the spotlight being red…hm. Interesting color choice.

“Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit” Fizzarolli the last you checked, you two were teenagers and Blitzo was in love with you, how bad could it have been :P Though I do think Blitzo and Verosika’s relationship might have had a public element that would have been pretty easy to track, all things considered; even if they weren’t dating when she was actually famous, with how badly she got burned and how public her arm tattoo is, I’m sure she rants about it whenever the opportunity arises.

That little glance to Stolas, though. Speaks of embarrassment to me, not wanting Stolas to see what’s about to happen.

Verosika IN THE LUST RING telling everyone Blitzo didn’t return oral, though? Low blow :P But!! But but but!! This is the second very interesting thing that Verosika says that hints at their relationship being messy and deep: “a reckless heartbreaking freak.” Reckless and Heartbreaking are not words you apply to an ex who was just shitty in bed. Those are words you apply to an ex who left a trail of destruction in their wake far beyond the emotional damages of a breakup. An ex who left you in a financial lurch and with a ruined credit score and no car, perhaps.

And the way Stolas rises, like he’s about to jump to Blitzo’s defense—poetry. Y’know what else is gonna be poetry? His song in Apology Tour. I’ve been observing the discussion back and forth on if Stolas is going to be singing to the theme of “BlitzO Sucks,” or if he’s going to sing whatever defense he didn’t get to come to here in Ozzie’s, and here’s my two cents: Stolas is going to be singing about himself and his feelings. His heartbreak at the hands of Blitzo, but even that heartbreak is multi-faceted, many-leveled, and not insignificantly Stolas’ own fault. If the short sassy robe scene is during Apology Tour (I’ve seen compelling arguments for it being during Mastermind/whenever CHERUB attacks in the Lust Ring), Stolas is going to be hurt and angry and likely have every right to be, but from what we’ve seen…Stolas is also in love. And he isn’t blind to how Blitzo lashes out when he’s hurt, thanks to Ozzie’s. Verosika got the young Blitzo, the reckless and inexperienced one who trashed her bank account and her heart and kind of stalled her own growth and progress, too. Stolas is getting the more mature Blitzo AS he matures, which is a special treat. But the bottom line for my prediction for Apology Tour: it’s gonna start out as pointing out all the things Blitzo did wrong, then morph into the things about Blitzo that Stolas loves. Something to bring out those big doe eyes that Blitzo only very occasionally gets.

Anyway back to the roast at Ozzie’s.

“Are you sleepin’ with an imp?” MIND YOUR BUSINESS, WACKFORD.

I also love how Fizzarolli can’t seem to resist getting up in Blitzo’s face. Because. Y’know. They haven’t seen each other’s scarred-up faces up close for fifteen years. Yikes.

Ozzie pointing out Stolas’ family feels especially unfair when nobody knows the situation, especially between Stolas and Stella. But that’s Stella’s particular curse: all she has is her beauty and her status thanks to marrying Stolas. Which could make for a very compelling character, if she had any depth to her at all (note that “compelling” and “likeable” are not the same thing); she’s Stolas’ “smoking wife,” she’s “so lucky she’s attractive”. And Stolas? He doesn’t even get that much recognition; he’s known for when he starts to misbehave according to Goetia standards and that’s not a good place to be in. And good GRIEF, that man needs a divorce and a proper talk with his kid more than he needs to be dicked down, but that’s why we watch: they’re messy. Swapping physical intimacy in for emotional intimacy and bungling it so badly it’s gonna take like seven musical numbers to untangle is PRIME ENTERTAINMENT. But Ozzie is absolutely right: from the outside, Stolas’ affair with Blitzo is the perfect spirit of lust, the swapping of the stable family life for the more exciting sexual escapades with a lower-class unstable lover and destroying all of their lives in the process. That’s the consequences of sin at its best. No wonder he’s so elated over it. Especially since stirring up other drama keeps the heat off of Ozzie’s own worst-kept secret.

Now there it is, the controversial menu face-hiding moment, which Blitzo clearly sees as shame at being seen with him, and Stolas…little more unclear, but a charitable interpretation is shame at himself being perceived, at his dirty laundry being aired out in public. But consider that he CHOSE to be out in public with Blitzo, knowing that he’s a royal figure and being seen at a sex club with someone who is not only not his wife, but on the bottom of the social ladder, is going to cause a stir if he’s recognized. We know later that Stolas really doesn’t command much authority or garner much attention, but he IS known. Really, it’s understandable that he’s overwhelmed in that moment; it’s one thing to try and leap to Blitzo’s defense, but defending himself? Stolas doesn’t do that. He doesn’t rock the boat, he doesn’t cause stirs, he doesn’t get noticed. And being noticed for public infidelity? Kinda heavy, no matter what his feelings towards Blitzo are. Unfortunately, his reaction does have consequences. Damage scraping against damage. Wheeeee.

GET HIM MILLIE. I love you Fizz, but you deserved that one.

(Also, I totally missed Ozzie’s reaction to Fizz being smushed my first go-round; it’s fun to watch him flap about it and snuggle his Fizzy better.)

I also love how the rest of Moxxie’s song still gets applause, and really sets the mood for Stolas to attempt to repair the damage done. Unfortunately…it ain’t that simple. Especially with Blitzo, who just came face to face with the victims of his two biggest mistakes and got torn to shreds by both of them, THEN shunned by his new kinda-sorta fuckbuddy whom he might have feelings for shut up it’s transactional—

Anyway. Blitzo calling it a mistake and wanting to leave immediately? Surprised he waited until the song finished. But I do notice that Helluva Boss’s pacing tends to let things happen, THEN let characters react (Moxxie getting tranquilized and falling down, THEN Blitzo reacts; Fizz getting blown up a second time and surrounded by fire and failing to escape, THEN Blitzo reacts; it’s a little unusual but I’m not mad about it tbh), rather than showing more instantaneous reactions? I’m not sure how to put it, maybe that doesn’t actually make any sense. Anyway. Disastrous date nearly over.

Someone recently pointed out that Stolas teleported there, and Blitzo still takes the trouble to drive Stolas home despite everything, and I wish more than anything that we could see that conversation. Blitzo clearly wants Stolas out and gone so he can have his breakdown in peace, but he deliberately prolongs their proximity? Did Stolas ask? Did Blitzo offer? I need to KNOW, dammit. Because Blitzo comes incredibly close to crying while trying to extract himself from the situation and I need to know whose decision it was to let it get to that point.

Stolas is pushy and weird and condescending but my goodness does he try—and stop trying when a hard boundary is enforced. This poor guy. Gets settled in for a depression dinner, then gets asked on a date out of the blue by his pining-while-fucking crush, the date goes about as wrong as it can go and that’s before the public roasting, and his every attempt to fix it, smooth it over, or do damage control is shut down. No wonder Stolas immediately looks into Asmodean Crystals after this: his fantasy is shattered, and the reality he’s left with is sobering. This is good! It’s also really depressing and kinda hard to watch, despite being very, very necessary! More details later when he has his musical number!

Hang on have to have an emotional moment about how very emotional Blitzo sounds during this entire scene, because he’s on the brink of tears THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION. He’s trying so hard to hold it together in front of Stolas. But these aren’t emotions Stolas gets to see yet. He will soon though! Yippee!

And this night isn’t over, folks! Now we get to see Blitzo’s apartment, where he scribbles his face out of pictures of loved ones and flips through happier memories until he cries for real! What fun! The music playing over this scene has a name, I know, because it also plays when Stolas is in the hospital and realizing that Blitzo isn’t coming to see him and their relationship is probably even more fucked than he realized, but the name is “heartbreaking pretty twinkly tune” until I learn what it is because guess what it does to me!!!!

I love that it’s his mom and his sister that finally causes the dam to break. Because. Yeah, that’s the base root of his problems, huh? Makes sense. Even not knowing yet what happened, the weight behind how Blitzo reacts to seeing that picture is palpable. Blitzo doesn’t cry. Blitzo gets over it. Blitzo is always okay. Blitzo doesn’t do things like feelings or boundaries or appropriate behavior. But Blitzo sure as hell does cry when he’s at the end of his emotional rope and unexpectedly faced with memories of loved ones we haven’t met!

AND THE NIGHT IS STILL NOT OVER!!

Time to switch gears to s1e8, which despite the tonal whiplash is actually a perfect follow up to the emotional train wreck of an episode that is s1e7:

(In the spirit of full disclosure, I usually do these posts all in one sitting; however, it’s the day after I wrote the first half because the severe weather last night was actually pretty bad and I had to stop watching and writing because I was keeping an eye on the local news channel. But! Weather has passed, work day is over, and I’m ready to jump back in after reading what I wrote last night! I’m just pleased it turned out so coherent, despite how scattered my attention was.)

Aww, Loona! She’s so pretty! And so nervous! And I love her contact photo for Blitz, it’s just. So good. (And so on-brand for family; my contact photos for my siblings are also horrendous selfies they took of themselves when I left my phone unattended :P)

And Gluttony! A new ring of Hell!! Huzzah!! I love the look of it; almost Seussical, in a way, but also kinda…domed? Like a greenhouse? The honeycomb texture of the sky (????) certainly makes it look artificial. I want to see more of it immediately. And also, how much unexplored wilds are there in the different rings? Because that is PRIME fandom fodder. My kingdom for an atlas of Hell, Viv. (Also, very interesting that Wrath is the ring that produces the food, not Gluttony; makes me wonder what Gluttony’s major export is other than Beezlejuice.)

WE. DON’T. DESERVE. TEX. BEST BOY.

Also, love Loona for continuing to try this party thing out, despite it clearly not being her comfort zone. At least there’s one introvert out there who can do it. I LOVE the different looks of all the hellhounds, too, but the way so many of them look like dogs really makes me start to question if hellhounds parallel dogs in terms of pedigrees and breeding practices, too, which…eeeeugh. The social connotations of that being permissible and then possibly the grounds of a hellhound social hierarchy are really gross but also interesting. Like. Does the massive bitch (call it like you see it, Loona) come from an established hellhound facility nicer than the shelter Loona came from, or an actual family? How are hellhound families structured? They clearly have a pack mentality, and the fact that Beelzebub is known for throwing hellhound-centric (not exclusive, certainly, there are SO many imps at her party too, like wow, it’s just imps and hellhounds and I don’t see any other demons really, which is FASCINATING) parties but nobody says a word about it against her that we can tell is pretty great, actually. Kinda seems like in a way Bee might be trying to make the best of a shitty situation for hellhounds, at least, but we don’t really have enough information about her or the full social context for hellhounds to give her that kind of benefit of the doubt. Idk. I think Bee’s signature is on Loona’s adoption certificate (hellhounds originate from Gluttony? Or just the shelter Blitzo got Loona from?), but the context for that…I don’t know it. Maybe someone else does.

I saw all the hype on Tumblr when Ke$ha dropped as the voice of Bee, and I had some vague context for its importance to Viv, but I forgot about it when I was watching the show for the first time (which is funny bc I kept watching for her in Hazbin Hotel like a dweeb), so I will freely admit I very nearly teared up when I heard her voice and I was cheering like a maniac. Hell yeah, Ke$ha.

Also. Anyone complaining about her design. You’re entitled to your opinions. Your wrong, wrong opinions :P

Now, looking at Loona’s reaction during that whole glorious musical number: painfully awkward and shy around Tex, vacillating between disbelief and some begrudging awe at Bee, maybe kinda confused about why everyone around her is going this insane for what Bee is offering them. I don’t have a lot of experience with Loona’s set of issues, what with her being a foster kid who made it through the system on her own and all the anger and trouble connecting with others that comes with, but I’m gonna shoot my shot at trying to understand it anyway: she doesn’t trust Bee. Which is smart, given that Bee is a Deadly Sin, and another way that I find her similar to Blitzo in that she doesn’t respect authority in any way, nor is she charmed by outward displays of generosity, so she has a pretty good vantage point for seeing through any potential bullshit Bee might be trying to blow her way (like Blitzo seeing through Mammon’s shit but Fizz being blinded by hero worship). What’s also really funny is that Loona has NO IDEA who Bee is this entire musical number, so everything Bee is doing is just SUPER WEIRD to Loona without context. She’s primed and ready to see through another person’s veneer, especially the veneer of someone throwing a lot of flashy magic and candy around.

The problem? Bee is pretty genuine, but it’s easy to see how her mannerisms and phrasing could come across as fake, especially given Loona’s earlier confrontation with poodle bitch. ESPECIALLY since Loona has a big ole crush on Tex and yeah RIGHT is Loona any kind of competition with QUEEN BEE OF GLUTTONY (she is, but I don’t think she knows that). Loona can’t just snap her head off, not just because she’s a Sin, but because she’s someone important to Tex, who is important to Loona. It’s an unbearably awkward situation to be in—especially if Loona was serious about Bee being hot (listen my shipper brain is always gonna go for it, Loona/Bee/Tex WHEN), which adds another layer of complexity to this already pretty treacherous social terrain.

And poor Tex, being in the middle of this and not knowing what to do!! Guy just wants his new friend and his girlfriend to get along. Totally understandable. (Though, is it just me, or are there elements of Tex being maybe a little embarrassed by how Bee is in social situations?)

(Also, Bee relating this story about Satan and confirming that the Sins aren’t related—makes me want to take this and rub it in the faces of people who start to get weird about “but the Sins and the Goetia are like cousins” NAH Y’ALL THEY AREN’T EVEN RELATED TO EACH OTHER, THEY AREN’T RELATED TO THE GOETIA EITHER, unless that’s background context from other sources I’m missing, but if it ain’t in the show, I’m not fussing about it yet tbh.)

(The Sins being Charlie’s honorary aunts and uncles is canon, though, you’ll take that one from my cold dead hands.)

And after this whirlwind of an interaction, Bee sweeps off to be a good hostess, and…Loona tries to run for it, overwhelmed and embarrassed and more than a little out of her depth. And despite the fact that Blitzo is in the middle of his own emotional breakdown for the night, YER DAMN RIGHT HE PICKS UP THAT PHONE WHEN SHE CALLS. BLITZO IS A GOOD DAD ALRIGHT. Loona wouldn’t call him if she didn’t trust him and need him on some level. I’M FUCKING EMOTIONAL ABOUT THESE FATHER/DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS OKAY VIV HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, A DAUGHTER WITH A FATHER.

But the knowledge that Blitzo was a known figure in the party scene, well known enough that the Silent O hasn’t gotten around to the old crowd yet—how interesting! Verosika days, I wonder? Pre- and post-Verosika days?

Another way Loona and Blitzo are so alike: a little bit of positive reinforcement from the right person at the right time, and they just melt. And Loona using the puppy eyes: super effective, bless her for being willing to pull that out. (Though Blitzo was right on the money for not wanting to put more stress on himself for the night, as the rest of the episode will tell.)

Blitzo is sad. He’s vulnerable. He’s ABSOLUTELY IN THE RIGHT HEADSPACE TO GIVE A DEADLY SIN A RUN FOR HER KEGSTAND MONEY. Listen probably not good for his physical or mental health but I’m kinda really glad that he got the opportunity to not only humble a Sin, not only get crowd validation, but hear Loona freely admit to other people that that’s her dad. HE DESERVES IT OKAY. (I have deep wishes, if Blitzo ever winds up in court for what IMP stirs up on Earth, for Bee to show up as a character witness for him, because there is prophecy in the next episode about what Blitzo wants to do and be when he grows up, and having the respect of at least two out of seven Sins would certainly put him on the map for Most Famous Imp Ever.)

I do like how Bee and Tex immediately look concerned for him, though. They’re good people okay. Sometimes it’s nice to know that there are decent folks in Hell to get through a tough episode. Especially since Loona isn’t in a headspace to recognize that Blitzo isn’t okay—especially when it’s Bee telling her so. He’s always a mess, he’s always fine (she needs him to always be fine), and Bee better get off her territory already. And tbh, Bee has maybe a little bit of an overreaction (which is what I think Tex is more upset about, Bee flying off the handle than Loona snapping at her), but lest we forget: she’s still a Sin. A Sin who is trying to help and is getting some serious attitude out of seemingly nowhere in the process, but she’s in charge of this party, and she’s trying to be nice about it but if Loona doesn’t respond to niceness, maybe she’ll respond to a giant bitch. Which. She doesn’t. She responds to Tex being sad, because Loona cares about Tex in a way she doesn’t care about Bee (yet??? Unlikely but I can dream). And as much as I would LOVE to see Loona and Bee in an earnest fight…not like this, I don’t think. And not with Blitzo in need of support right now. Because ultimately, Bee and Tex aren’t wrong, Blitzo needs to be checked on. That’s just good party etiquette, even without the hosts of the party telling you to go check on your friends. Man just downed an entire barrel of Beezlejuice after having to be CONVINCED to stay at a party when he’s always trying to drag IMP to bars. Loona letting her jealousy get in the way of actually hearing what is being said to her is understandable, relatable.

And I love that Bee apologizes to Tex for throwing her weight around. Seems like a thing she doesn’t like doing. I personally do have a little trouble parsing if her apology is sincere or not, if this is a recurring problem or not, because there are hints that it might be, but until we get more of Bee and Tex, it’s gonna have to stay speculation, and I like living in a world where Bee and Tex are actually good together, y’know?

Anyway, time to check in on Blitzo, which. Phew. There’s nothing wrong with you, Dennis, your voice and design are both perfectly sexy. Also, I love both that there actually is an Alejandro (or a Monica?) present, that said person has a bite mark scar, AND that the frame I paused on has Loona literally punching their face in Disney Hades-style, this will feed me for weeks thank you.

Alright. Captions spell it Beelzejuice. I know it would most likely be spelled that way because Beelzebub. I know there’s a sign for it on the wall of the Hazbin Hotel bar, which I could go look up right now to get a second source for spelling. But Beezlejuice is more fun to say and I’m pretty sure Viv’s musical-obsessed ass did it on purpose. So I’m gonna stick with Beezlejuice. At least in my analyses; I might spell it correctly in my fics. Assuming I write any more.

ANYWAY. Loona being the responsible one is Excellent. Because she’s an adult, and while Blitzo is her dad in the ways that matter, she’s also more in a position to try and help him out too than an actual kid would be, and my good dude needs so much help right now. And look! Loona has friends now!! Tex’s plans worked, he’s too good for all of us and I hope we see more of him in the future (beyond just Apology Tour, where he's working and thus on the BlitzO Sucks squad).

Gonna get a little personal and also gross for a second, warning about vomit talk: I recently went through a medical procedure where the point of the meds I had to take to prep for it was to clean out my digestive system. The second dose made me throw up, which I haven’t done in years. It was two in the morning, and even as I was trying very hard not to spill my guts and then lost that battle, all I could think about was this scene, where Blitzo needs to hurl—he needs that cleanse, physically and spiritually (please note this isn’t an endorsement for purging, at least not physically). He goes through the physical cleanse (an inordinate amount of vomit, like wow), but I think he still hasn’t fully spilled his metaphorical guts in a way he needs to. He certainly bleeds off the valve a little, admitting to Loona that Fizz is right and he’s gonna die alone and wanting her and Millie and Moxxie and Stolas to all be there when he does. (“just a wrinkled old weathered waste” kinda hits me in the squishy emotional bits, a little too close to home) He later finds resolution with Fizz, tries with Barb but gets rejected, and really needs to with Stolas. But he’s an unstable volcanic mess of emotions ready to pop. Have I mentioned yet that I’m REALLY EXCITED for Full Moon?

Poodle Bitch’s name is Vikki? Or was that someone else? Heck.

This terrible night is over, everyone is home safe and sound (well…safe), and that’s a wrap on my season 1 theory posts! Thanks for being patient! Might get one more post out tonight; we’ll see. Gonna take a break and see what happens. Until then: later!

[terraliensvent]

I would like to read your thoughts about pluralkit. For me I’ve noticed that there are some individuals that will say wild things and use plural kit to send the messages. I blocked one person in the server so far cause I just found them to be a bit much.

i got another ask wanting to know my thoughts on pluralkit, so ill indulge

buckle up bitches cause this is gonna be a LONG one

for starters, i hate pluralkit because you cant block the bot accounts it uses so if i want to block an annoying sys, i cant! definitely can see it as a way to circumvent blocks

second, it just further adds to the people who will use it to roleplay that they have alters

(i actually have a lot to say here and did research so please look at the read more if youre interested)

im gonna be honest, i do not think the people who use pluralkit have DID, and i absolutely dont believe a large majority of the people on toyhouse and in cs spaces who say they have DID. some of you might hate me for that opinion and thats fine, but truthfully, i think that way too many people use it as a way to roleplay.

im gonna try my best to be gentle with how i present my thoughts, but i know that there are some people (primarily young people who believe they have alters and refuse to change their minds— a well known symptom of being young) who will flame me for just daring to not believe them, and my thoughts on this go beyond just terraliens and cs spaces in general, terraliens is just a REALLY good example of this kind of community.

i think that society has tried to medicalize behaviors to a startling degree. when people said “normalize neurodivergence” we flew a bit past the mark and now the self-diagnosis crowd will see a person with an unusually strong passion for a hobby and say “they must have autism”

in this type of world, kids wont say “i love Blorbo from Show I Like, i wanna pretend to be them on the internet” and then disclose to people that, yes, its just a roleplay and im doing it for fun; instead its, “i feel a strong connection to Blorbo so i must have DID and theyre one of my alters. this isnt something im doing for fun, i have this medical condition and you cannot tell me otherwise”

the issue with DID kids is that they see that yes, things like fictives and animal alters are possible, but VERY unlikely within a disorder that is already highly unlikely, and they say, well i must fit inside of that 0.000001%, and then other people say the same thing and now we have multiple people saying they have DID within a server of only 3000 people. they will say “you dont know anything about DID,” but then will say they have 3 fictive alters from a piece of media that came out less than 5 years ago. they’ll say “well, diagnostic criteria includes self-assessment therefore that should be enough to decide that i have DID

in the time it’s taken me to write up this response, i actually went looking for research. Specifically i wanted to find something that predated 2020 because that was the time the “fake disorder” phenomenon really hit its peak and i didnt want potential false cases and misinformation that the current day DID crowd spreads to skew the data.

What i found was this medical journal published in May 2017 (so 3 years pre-2020, and less than 7 years old as of today. this document is less than 10 years old so dont even try to tell me its outdated), the authors of the journal are accredited to the psychology and psychiatry departments of the university school of medicine in Turkey, University of Canterbury in New Zealand, and University of Pretoria in South Africa. SO, suffice to say im gonna trust these people’s research more than a 15 year old on discord.

im gonna summarize a few points because, as a medical journal it is totally overblown with professional jargon and i consider myself to have good ability to convert flowery language to plain speak

The first segment i wanna highlight is in the introduction of the document, “

Yet, when all these systems come together to underpin and maintain a person’s identity, and dissociation occurs at this (identity/personality) level, it creates dissociative identities. Here, separate organized systems of functioning, with their own unique perspective on the world and who they are, appear to co-exist within the individual. Each of these identities has their own first-person perspective or experience of self-consciousness. Consequently, each of these identities reports their own subjective experiences and memories, their own sense of agency and will, and their own perspective on who they are. They often report being unaware of other identities or report amnesia for experiences that presumably occurred when other identities were engaging in executive actions.

The document states that the different “alters” present more as separate identities, where its different iterations of the same person who will have their own perspective of the world (each has their own “I” self). each iteration has its own memories and, the most important part, each iteration appears to be unaware of or have amnesia surrounding the other iterations. this one paragraph dismantles several of the talking points that DID kids use, it goes against the idea that people can co-front, it goes against the idea of having detailed in depth personas for each of your alters as so many of these people do. and we arent even past the INTRODUCTION

funnily enough, despite my effort to look for a document pre 2020 to mitigate false cases, this document actually mentions the DID faker crowd: “

The so-called sociocognitive model of DID (e.g., Lynn et al) went beyond recognizing the influence of sociocognitive factors on the development and phenomenology of DID. This model suggested that media reports, a high level of social knowledge about DID, influential and suggestive therapists, as well as patients’ own suggestibility, cognitive distortions and fantasy proneness all led patients to believe (wrongly) that they had dissociative identities. This view of DID markedly contrasts with the post-traumatic model of DID (outlined earlier), which proposes that dissociative identities are the primary results of early trauma and the relational, cognitive, emotional, and neurobiological consequences of it (along with other related factors as outlined in this paper) rather than primarily the result of social and cognitive forces. Moreover, the presence of sociocognitive forces does not provide any proof for iatrogenesis. Yet, sociocognitive and trauma models are not entirely contradictory, as the trauma model, e.g., argues that social and cultural factors influence the presentation, but not typically the creation, of dissociative identities. In fact, societal conditions themselves may also be the source of traumatic antecedents as observed in oppressive communities and traditions.

this post is getting crazy long, so im just gonna start wrapping it up here

i think that what ive stated here links with my previous ask about physical disabilities, disabilities and mental disorders arent really things to have a party over. they shouldnt be demonized of course, but we shouldnt be pretending like its some phenomenal thing to have a disorder thats based on severe complex trauma faced as a child. the part pluralkit plays in all of this is that it just further feeds the crowd and deludes these people into thinking their DID is real

im not going to believe any 15 year old furry when they publicly announce they have DID to a discord server of over 3,000, and that is a consequence of the sheer volume of people that fake having the disorder and continue to fake it with their stupid roleplay bots

obviously, i dont go out of my way to debate or mess with them, because at the end of the day its kids being stupid and cringe, but god the ramifications of these kids playing pretend with disorders is gonna be horrible. its already having really bad effects on autistic adults trying to operate in society as normal people and not be infantilized

i just hope this trend passes quickly and soon, and PLEASE let me block those stupid bot accounts i dont want to interact with any “system” that uses pluralkit

[irhabiya]

idk if this is smth you’ve seen too but i feel kind of uncomfortable with these posts lately that are expressing a kind of empathy for zionists but in particular jewish zionists. saying things like “well they were raised to believe this and we should be understanding of jewish generational trauma that has been weaponized by israel” and i do understand the need to allow people to change and whatnot but im also struggling to express how deeply uncomfortable that makes me feel. i don’t feel any empathy towards an adult who is supporting israel. the most pressing issue right now that we need to talk about is not allowing a space for zionists to grow and change their mind, it is saving the lives of palestinians and advocating for their sovereignty. and if someone was formerly a zionist but then changed their mind im sorry but i don’t want to hear their story and how great of a person they are for changing. yes it is a good thing that more people are supporting palestine but this is not the time and place to be clapping yourself on the back showing off how great you are. its frustrating as well because i am not jewish and i don’t know if its my place to say this or feel this way. i was at a JVP event lately for my university and someone said “i feel uncomfortable when non-jewish people discuss the zionism of jewish people.” i think i understand where this person is coming from but i also feel that zionism should be condemned across the board, not only by jewish people but by all allies to the palestinian cause. i don’t know why the onus has to be on jewish people only to denounce zionism. idk this was long and ranty, you don’t need to respond if you don’t want to, didn’t really have anywhere else to share it. hope you are having a good weekend

i understand what you mean. i feel the same way to a certain extent, but also i do sympathize a lot with antizionist jews who were previously zionists. i think it's important to highlight their experiences and stories especially because a lot of the time they can articulate from experience how invasive and perverted the israeli propaganda machine is and how it works. things like birthright trips and being picked alongside a bunch of other jewish youth to go to aipac conferences where they teach them how and why to lobby the us government are things that most others wouldn't be privy to. and their experiences and outspoken support for palestine are deeply important to break the association between zionism and judaism. it only really annoys me when that detracts from palestinian voices, which i don't see very often. palestinian-jewish solidarity is invaluable.

i don't feel any sympathy for zionist jews who are old enough to think for themselves tho lol i'm glad i haven't seen that in my circles

[qqueenofhades]

1of 3) feel free to ignore this, but I'm doing Dracula Daily (never read it before) and I have a lot of feelings/thoughts and seeing as you've read it, I hope you don't mind if I rant a bit. I really want to shake Van Helsing until he starts telling people stuff. Like I can kind of get him not wanting to tell Seward that it's a vampire so he doesn't seem crazy and get institutionalized, but at some point, he should have told him anyway, or just made it clear that Lucy needs watching every night

2of3) and not just depend on telegrams/letters to tell him to watch her. But then she dies, and still instead of telling anyone what's going on, he just tells Seward that he needs to get him some surgeon tools so he can remove her head and heart (because talking about needlessly (at least to Seward) removing body parts of a corpse makes way more sense then mentioning a vampire and definitely makes him seem sane). He even talks about how they need to work together as one and need trust, of 3) and it's like my dude, have you even once considered how much easier it may be for people to work together with you as one, to trust you when you need it, if they have even a slight hint of what's going on? Personally if someone asks me to do something odd/hard/weird etc. I'm much more likely to do it, or at least complain less, if I know the reason besides a 'I'm so-and-so and you should do what I say' reason. Again, sorry for the rant.

Hush now. Of course I am delighted that people have so many feelings about a 19th-century classic horror novel that they want to come shout in my inbox about it! This is exactly why I love Dracula Daily as a concept, and think it's really clever. Everyone kind of.... already knows Dracula by cultural osmosis (he's a vampire! He has a swoopy dark cloak and he can turn into a bat! He sneaks around and Vants to Suck Your Blud!) but they are discovering they don't actually know many details about the text, and that modern adaptations have often totally slaughtered it in the aims of making it Sexy or otherwise introducing themes/readings that are not necessarily present in the original. So yes, I have read Dracula before, but I'm still really enjoying seeing the way Tumblr has gone ape for it and are all indignantly signing up for the Lucy Westenra and Mina Murray Defense Squad and drawing fanart and making memes and dropping casual references to the "polycule" and so forth. Yes.

Anyway, I wrote this post the other day discussing how everyone's over-reliance on traditional social conventions, and trying to follow the rules of how to be Good Victorians, has totally fucked them over. The whole point of what's going on is that they all keep trying to act like it's a normal situation and they need to be Decorous and Proper and Not Alarm Anyone, and like... that's the exact sort of thing Dracula feeds on (literally and metaphorically). Because he's weaponizing their extreme middle-class Victorian Englishness against them, where they can't talk to each other and they can't discuss how they feel and they can't be honest, all for fear of Offending Protocol, they're screwed. They can't coordinate, they can't do anything that might long-term help, and there is of course an interesting subtextual queer reading here, considering that Bram Stoker is universally considered to have been a repressed gay man who hid/denied his sexuality and lived in, to say the least, an openly homophobic society. Whether or not it was his primary intention to portray the rules of Good Victorian Behavior not working and instead actually actively harming people by forcing them to keep secrets and not trust that anyone else will believe them, it's an unavoidable theme in the text and one that a modern reader definitely picks up on with the benefit of hindsight.

Also, I think it's important to highlight that despite his 84 PhDs (of course he's a lawyer as well as a doctor) and generally being the book-smartest person in the story, Van Helsing has, at this point, comprehensively failed. He hasn't saved Lucy's life, he hasn't prevented her from turning into a vampire, he hasn't warned anyone else about what's really going on, he hasn't prevented Mrs. Westenra from being frightened to death, he hasn't told Arthur (poor Arthur!!!) anything about why he wouldn't even let him kiss his fiancee as she was dying, etc. And a huge part of this is because, as you point out, he hasn't told anyone anything. Van Helsing has often been narratively paralleled to Dracula, which I think is accurate: he is solely in charge of Lucy's health, as Dracula is the sole reason for hurting it. He tries to control Lucy, he tries to keep her loved ones in the dark, he tries to basically "have" her for himself -- all in the name of helping her, yes, but his treatment is just as ineffective as Dracula's assault is effective. Van Helsing means all the best, but he's kind of fucked it up!

And yes, the primary reason he's doing so is because he thinks that he alone is smart enough to solve the problem, he can't let anyone else onto his plans (even when Quincey strolled in, took one look, and was like "oh yeah this was like the time the vampire bit my horse" and asked the OBVIOUS FUCKING QUESTION of where all of Lucy's blood was going!) and he otherwise is the Only One. Just like Dracula's pride, arrogance, solitude, stubbornness, and insistence that his will/choices for Lucy are the only ones that matters, Van Helsing is doing the same thing, from the opposite side of the coin. That's why his methods can't possibly work to counteract Dracula and (as we will see in the latter half of the novel) they need to comprehensively rethink their entire strategy and discard all the old social rules and worry for "decorum" that has kept them from being honest with each other so far. But yes, we love us a good hero/villain narrative foil with the same flaws and the same methods. Which is what is definitely going on here. Because things such as Mrs. Westenra removing the garlic flowers happen because Van Helsing didn't even tell her that they were medicinal (you have one million doctorates, Abraham, make up a scholarly bullshit reason!)

So yes, as I said, and as we will see in upcoming entries, Following The Good Victorian Rules has fucked everyone over HARD, Van Helsing is acting like Dracula while trying to fix Dracula's damage and that's why it isn't working, and our heroes are going to need to have a comprehensive rethink of what they're doing and why, if they want to stop any of this in time. Dun dun dunnn!

[zzoguri]

good evening everyone... "of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going)" is finally DONE with its official parts </3 im just having ms. duckie read it just to see if the direction is alright and it will definitely be up some time this week </3

can you believe?!?!?! 71.1k IN TOTAL!?!?!?! (yes part 3 ended up being 24.6k words) literally still in shock with how much i've written tbh!!!

i guess cue the emotional post!!! (oh no!!! not the emotions!!!)

when i first started writing this fic, i had no idea what to expect from the pairing. literally the only thing i knew is that the boy i'm writing about will have that dream about reader LMFAO (iykyk!) and that the dynamic between the two characters will be very banter but still at its core sweet <3

the craziest thing is that this fic would have been for jacob or changmin. i was really deciding which would work out the most but my friend said that the scenes and dynamic i had in mind works best with changmin's personality. and with that, i finally started my silly outline!!!

oof... should i mention that the title originally wouldve been "of method acting and bantering (i'm so glad i found you)" like crazy!?!?! how did we come from that to the current title? well i only finalized it while writing the first half of the outline (which covers like the first two parts of the fic!)

i settled on linked arms and bruised hearts mainly because we know changmin as someone who likes to latch onto the members. the idea of bruised hearts came mainly from how i wrote reader </3 and it just works in tandem! i really think this new one holds more meaning is definitely representative of reader and changmin.

anyway, i should mention that this fic does hold a lot of pieces of me </3 like a lot of aspects or experiences came from what i experienced. there are a lot of little fun facts spread throughout the fic. if you ask me about them, i'd most definitely tell you </3

and most importantly, i like to think that this fic is more of a commemoration of the friendships i have rather than just some romance fic. although there are alot of sweet moments between reader and changmin (that are definitely romantic in nature and definitely some i never experienced), i wrote this fic really focusing on how much i just love friendships. i really think that writing friends to lovers without highlighting the importance of friendships overall would just be a disservice to the trope overall </3

this fic is very personal because it reflects a lot of aspects in my life </3 i'm really glad that i wrote 71.1k words worth of just genuine love and care stored in friendships !! and i'm glad that reader and changmin have each other !!

once again, i want to say thank you for loving this fic as much as i do T___T mainly would like to thank those on my taglist for the support as well <3 i've received some feedback just talking about how much they love the friendgroup or how nice it is to see that soulmates do exist between changmin and reader. it really does mean a lot because this fic took so much time and care to execute </3

of course, the universe is not officially closed since i plan to write the imagines/drabbles found on the series masterlist. and although it is not guaranteed when those will be out, just know that this specific universe will forever live in my heart.

part 3 will drop within the week <3 please look forward to it <3 thank you!!

[spiralcass]

NEW MUTANTS: LETHAL LEGION #1 - THOUGHTS

There were several X-books out this week, but my favorite was the fantastic first issue of New Mutants: Lethal Legion, the FIRST Big 2 mainline mini-series ever to have a trans femme  character as the protagonist, and I feel like talking about it a little. 

Brought to us by @charliejaneanders​ and a fantastic team of artists, this issue sets up two plots, with Escapade, Cerebella, and Honey Badger (Sorry, Charlie, can’t bring myself to call her Scout) doing a silly heist in the hopes of distracting Martha from her trauma, while Wolfsbane attempts to convince Morgan to come to Krakoa. 

I won’t be doing a beat-for-beat rundown (Go read the issue!), instead just highlighting some of the things that stuck out to me. 

First, for as kind and compassionate as Shela is, I enjoy how she is completely unmerciful toward those who don’t deserve it. She may have realized calling herself a “villain” was silly and didn’t suit her at all, but she’s still someone who’s faced heavy discrimination, who’s been fighting and involved in crime to survive since she was a teenager, and who wanted to be like Emma Frost; of course she’s practical (and a little extra) about dealing with enemies.

Martha’s always been great, but I’ve absolutely been loving her since Vita Ayala made her part of their cast, and continuing to give her shine as Shela’s “best friend” was a great call. Martha still struggling to unpack her trauma, even though by all logic she should feel better, and contrasting her and Shela’s different views on things based on the different types of hate they’ve faced in their lives is good stuff. 

Look, this is sad for Morgan and all, genuinely so, but like...well, it’s acknowledged in-universe at this point that even on a good day, the X-Men are kind of jerks (It’s part of their charm!), but there’s something hilarious about this being Shela’s first issue as a proper X-hero, and mostly-Krakoan, and instantly she’s being a bitch and ignoring her lifelong best friend’s texts as he’s getting kicked out of his (formerly THEIR) apartment. 

Yes, it’s because she’s gotten sucked into her new life, and she’s been focusing her attention on helping Martha, but still. 

This. Motherfucking. Ensemble. 

It is the worst outfit I have ever seen, and I’m in love. 

Rahne Sinclair, we all know you’re a lesbian. Admit it already. 

What Martha is going through is very similar to what Rahne went through in Hickman and Ayala’s runs, and I’m hoping that’s intentional, and these two plots will intersect. 

This part I’ve already joked about, but Shela, girl, let’s talk about this. 

1. You used to look up to Emma Frost. Did you only start saying “Eat the Rich” after Krakoa came around? 

2. Did no one tell you that being Krakoan automatically makes you rich? You could be stocking up on so much food for Hibbert! 

3. You’ve now mostly decided to live on Krakoa. You do understand this nation is ruled by a dictatorial oligarchy of 12 who wield absolute power and live in castles while having everyone else share habitat domes with a dozen other people, RIGHT? Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to know literally all but one of them are extremely corrupt; you’re new here after all. 

Called it. I totally called it. I 100% called it. The last three issues of New Mutants made it far too clear this was where we were heading, and I’m so happy we did. Shela and Martha are adorable together, and now, this isn’t just the first mainline mini-series with a trans femme lead, it’s also another Marvel book with a sapphic couple in the leading roles! Well done! 

(Also, Shela, I see you fantasizing about wearing that Emma-looking outfit. Me thinks you haven’t completely turned on her) 

Gabby is only in this story because she heard something stupid was going on and she wanted to be a part of it. I love her. 

There is not one brain cell to be found here. 

To be honest, at least so far, I haven’t really enjoyed Morgan as a character. Compared to all the facets we’ve gotten from Shela as the focus of her stories, Morgan’s remained pretty one-note, and it’s not a note I particularly enjoy. He’s prissy, hates Krakoa, and liked things how they were. 

It also really doesn’t help that when actually asked about his issues with Krakoa, he makes an extremely weak argument. There are COUNTLESS major issues with Krakoa, but all he brings up is “You made your own language” and “All Mutants are soldiers”. 

And I’m sitting here like...really? Rahne ends up refuting his latter point in a great speech that makes a lot of sense for her, specifically, to give (though she could have also brought up that 99% of the Mutant population aren’t combatants. Then again, that would bring up Krakoa’s class system, and that would be a genuine thing Morgan would be right to complain about), but she doesn’t even bother addressing the language thing, probably because it’s such a ridiculous thing to complain about. 

She also doesn’t address the mention of “nationalism”. Krakoa IS absolutely a nationalist state, but whether that means “We are superior to all the monkeys who call themselves humans living on this planet” or “We have pride in our culture and will do whatever we have to to protect it from those who’d do us harm” really just comes down to whether you’re reading a Hickman-era book or a Post Hickman-era book. 

You idiots are all going to die. I’d laugh, but I’ve been waiting since X-Factor was unfairly cancelled to see a trans woman go through resurrection, so fingers crossed. 

That’s all I’ve got! Hope you all enjoyed ,and if you’d like to see me go over other comics like this, let me know! 

[tagedeszorns]

Tsu'gan and Dak'ir being themselves

I am currently reading the collected Salamanders-books by Nick Kyme. I like him as he strives for consistent world building and adds a lot of details to the Warhammer-universe that make it more vivid.

I wish he would write more for the (Heresy-era) Emperor's Children, who need an author who takes the trouble to look behind the facade. He proved that he is great at this in the short stories "Imperfection" and "Chirurgeon", both are highlights of EC-Heresy-storytelling. Along with Chris Wraight's great insights into Eidolon's haughty mind.

I want to draw more of Kyme's Salamanders. And more of his bad-guysChaos-Salamanders!

If I really wanted to be petty, I would suggest that Kyme may be a little unsubtle in naming his villains. I mean, should Tu'Shan really have given a librarian named "Nihilan" any position of responsibility? And does a Second In Command named "Iagon" sound trustworthy?

But that's really all I have to gripe about. And not even that really bothers me.

Because the really good things outweigh the bad by far! Kyme also gives his villains a personality apart from their professional villainy and doesn't turn them into disgusting monsters in order to make it clear to the last reader that this is evil (or broccoli, as Mermaid Man would say). No, his villains have backgrounds and development. There is no switch flipped that suddenly turns 100% line-faithful Astartes into Chaos Marines, but one can comprehend and understand.

Ah yes, just good reading material!

[sofipitch]

Does the characters sharing a body in tlt ever have an element of mysticism to it? Is it more of a cool thing that happens? How do you see that aspect of the books on a metaphorical level/ the work it does in the story?

If mysticism is defined as an altered state of consciousness due to fusion then yes, when Palamedes and Camilla come together they are new and unique person. Nona tries to pick apart their movements and determine what is part Cam or Pal and notices there are decisions/actions Paul makes that their component parts would not. However using it in religious terms, so far no. In HTN Palamedes tells Harrow he is working on a new Lyctoral theory that doesn't involve the cavalier dying. They state after transformation that Paul is that. This happens late enough in the story that we don't know if Paul is immortal or has all the benefits the other Lyctors do, but that's very clearly not why they did it.

Within NTN Camilla and Palamedes share a body, Cam's body. However unlike most body sharing stories they cannot talk to each other, there is no Ling and Greed arguing in a void space. When one is conscious the other is not. The only way they communicate is writing each other notes or recording themselves talking, then switching. Or by telling someone else what to tell the other. It is made clear that this arrangement does not make them happy they miss each other terribly, but it's the only way to keep Palamedes on this side of the river.

It is hinted very early on in NTN that a fusion (sorry old Steven universe fan just gonna call it that) is something they've considered, however Pyrrha disapproves of it. In one scene Pyrrha toasts, "Here's to Camilla Hect, one of devotion's casualties". Because Camilla is sacrificing her body to accommodate Palamedes, and lyctorhood requires at least one of both of people dying. Which sacrifice and who it's for and what is good versus "I never asked for this" sacrifices look like, is a big thread running through the series. Two characters die for other ppl in this book adding to the total sacrificial body count and there is also this question of was it good for the person who chose it, and was it fair to the recipient. All relationships require some sort of compromise or sacrifice but it should be mutual, and something both parties agree on. So while Pyrrha and Nona and many audience members feel like Camilla and Palamedes effectively dying to be together to bad it's also something that both wanted and were willing to give to each other. It is theorized that Nona may be a fusion of both Harrow and Gideon, and Coronabeth and Camilla both say they would be jealous of them if that is the case. By contrast after Paul is born, Paul tells Ianthe this is their lyctorhood and that she could still save Naberius's soul and she waves it off, she isn't destroying herself for Babs, and it's pretty clear Babs wouldn't have wanted to die for her either. But as Camilla later tells Palamedes, "love and freedom don't coexist". Everyone has to determine what levels of that they are capable of or would want in return.

The second theme it hits on is the inevitability of change. There is a really good post I've reblogged at some point talking about how this one permeates the series, they said it a lot better but I'll try and hit the highlights. You see it in characters never getting over grief, you see it in Gideon not wanting to change her relationship with Harrow in GTN, you see it in the way John wants to hold all his lyctors to his chest and have shitty dinners of spaghetti Os for 10k years. Also as that post pointed out, the series does it to its readers, you enjoyed GTN and want something exactly like that, too bad HTN is very different. You only care about Gideon and Harrow? Too bad, they are barely in NTN. Paul is a part of that change, this is the one where Nona and Pyrrha (and me) were also upset over Paul because it means that you never get to see Palamedes and Camilla anymore. The characters are resistant to change even though it's better than both being dead. And it can/has been read the opposite way, that Palamedes and Camilla should have accepted Pal's death, rather than alter Cam to preserve him. No matter which way you look at it you just want to go back to before Palamedes experienced rapid unscheduled disassembly, but it's not possible.

On a similar vein to the change theme, Nona's reaction to Paul can also be viewed in the lens of how some people react to someone in their life transitioning. Where they are afraid that bc this person is changing they won't know them anymore, this is a whole new person, etc. But while yes Paul has changed how Cam and Pal exist, it didn't get rid of the love between them.

In terms of gender, Paul is referred to with they/he/she. They is the most common but it's not really something that is brought up the way you might expect regular media to go "are you a boy or a girl now?" Because TLT operates on the basis of a queer norm, Gideon and Harrow never have to say, as most lesbians do, that they is not interested in men because the assumption that a woman must be interested in men doesn't't exist. You see that with a lot of the body swapping, a character's gender is respected no matter what the present as. TLT's commentary on queer topics is found in noting not only what an absence of prejudice looks like, but what an absence of assumptions looks like. And especially with gender it's something you see with a lot of characters in NTN.

Okay sorry if that was long-winded, I'm sure there's other stuff (ppl have pointed out a connection to Paul from the bible who also underwent a conversation and subsequent name change) but also Paul only shows up like the last 15% of NTN and I am so excited to really meet him in ATN