gah now i'm getting On My Shit about the discworld again and like i've said what i want to say about the witches and the watch but there's also small gods like i will never be over small gods i finished it and i was like... has this... has this healed some of my religious trauma?
if you've never read it, the plot is thus: on the disc, gods get their power from belief. therefore, the more believers a god has, the more powerful they are. and so, there is this god -- om -- who has risen in power, who has a country devoted to His worship, which hunts down and slaughters heretics and infidels, to whom people pray multiple times a day and make pilgrimages to His holy city, which has a huge citadel and huge structure of a complex religion devoted to his worship. and, on a whim, He comes down one day to see how things are going.
and discovers that he has no power.
that, in this country of millions who profess to worship Him with all their hearts, there is only one person left who actually believes in Him.
and there's a lot of meat there, and a lot more plot to delve into, but the core theme ends up boiling down to this:
can you forgive your god for how they failed you?
and do they deserve that forgiveness? how can they earn that forgiveness?
because ultimately, the forgiveness that the messianic archetype is embodying is not that of the god's grace, but of the people's -- to forgive their god his absence. to give their god another chance to be their god.
and whether or not you, in the end, can forgive, it gives you the language to realize that this is what you were asking for with your last prayers. whether or not you can ever go back, whether or not there have been other reasons since that have convinced you further, it gives you the language to accept that your god failed you. and it is not your fault.
this book speaks loudest, perhaps, to those of us who left our church with grief, not with anger. with hurt betrayal, not with the fires of defiance.
it didn't change my lack of religious belief, but it helped me conceptualize my feelings about the church, the things that went deeper than intellectual arguments. about that sense of betrayal, that hurt, that twisted-up knot within me that it had built, and it gave me the mirror within which i could see that i had been failed by my beliefs. it wasn't that i hadn't believed enough, it was that my belief had been betrayed by the absence of an answer.
there have been other reasons since then that have cemented my atheism, but small gods made me stop hating the church i used to love, because it made me recognize why i hated it so much and said "you're not wrong, it didn't have to be this way. you were betrayed and you were failed and you can let it go, now."
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There's always a danger of caring too much about a story, and then getting paralyzed by the need to do it justice, so it never gets written.
I've solved this problem in the past by writing stories so fast that I don't have time to get too invested, or writing stories that I'm not that attached to.
But maybe the trick is to love the story so much that I want to share it any way I can, even if it's imperfect. To feel that any version of this story is better than the story never getting written at all. To get out of my own way and stop worrying about what other people will think of my writing, or even what I think of my writing, and love the story for its own sake, love the readers enough to want to have the joy of sharing the story with them.
Maybe it'll work. Maybe it won't. But so far it feels like a much better approach.
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"nooooo don't dissolve the violently racist settler colonial stste of Israel, because the jews would get displaced, lose their homeland and that's bad"
Are there bad ways to dissolve it that would actually cause displacement? Sure but that's not the point of doing it. Israelis (then former Israelis) can stay there and don't need to be violently expulsed, but the state of Israel cannot not do its current politics. Even if they could not do it, why not do them in a Palestinian state instead? Where's the harm?
Look I know Centrists and Right Wingers that point to Africa and talk about how white settlers got to keep living there, just without their previous colonial privileges, why do I see stuff like the above from leftist complaining about leftists being antisemitic?
I have talked about leftist antisemitism and how it hides before as well, it's an important topic, but this ain't it.
Furthermore upon checking, the people that cry antisemitism about the call from leftists to dissolve the SETTLER COLONIAL STATE OF ISRAEL are always Israelis and Zionists with very clear agendas
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Can you tell me how Woody appeared, he is different from other nutcrackers, it would be interesting to know his story!
Ah! I had said some info in his debut post, but basically!
Woody "Woodman" is a (very) early nutcracker model, his most significant trait is that he's made of wood and less durable then the newer metal ones. His line cancelled early because the conditions of space was too much for their structure, and for the light implications that Woodmen weren't as obedient as their successors due to being the first ACTUAL attempt of a "domesticated" alien species. (Prone to human-like errors and self preservation)
Woody is a product of his time literally, he has to upkeep himself like mold treatment and hunting. He is impulsive and has behavioural shifts. And displays what could be considered adaptive empathy and emotions. Pretty terrible stuff if you want a gun with legs and not a very large alien man.
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The thing that sucks about misogyny is that it's not just a problem for one group of people or one gender group. If you want to combat bigotries, you (impersonal) have to not come at it from the angle of bigotry as an identity you have, but as a set of beliefs and actions. To be a misogynist isn't an identity like being gay or a similarly deep and personal identity. A misogynist is somebody who believes in and acts upon misogynistic ideas, myths, or any other such thing.
This goes for pretty much any bigotry, and the idea of bigotry as identity does us all a disservice, especially if you turn the bigotry into essentialism. When you essentialize bigotry in a certain group of people, you empower people to keep said bigotry unchecked and uninterrogated. That does everyone a disservice.
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For those who like Rowoon, you really should watch Extraordinary You. It's about a girl, Dan-oh, who realizes that she's a side character in a high school romance graphic novel. Her and some of the other self-aware side characters rebel and try to change the story so they can have happy endings.
Rowoon plays an side character that is so minor that at first he doesn't even speak, but he keeps showing up and saving Dan-oh, so she becomes determined to recruit him into her rebellion.
It also has historical "past lives" and Lee Jae Wook! (He's a villain). Also the lawyer friend from Destined With You. And while the pacing gets a little slow in the middle, the story is cohesive and the world building is fun and consistent.
And look how cute they are!
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The thing with change is that it takes us long to realize it's happened.
Like, drastic changes can have drastic effects, sure.
But you don't immediately realize just how different things are.
And then suddenly one day you're sitting there and you realize, "I'm so much different than the me of a few months ago. I can barely recognize the me of years ago."
Either from a positive or a negative change, your view of yourself or the world can change, either for the better, or for the worse. For the former, you feel new, and light, and strong. For the latter, you feel grief, and despair, for what you've lost.
And I don't know, I feel like that's something we need to acknowledge a little more - how the deepest effects of a change are seen on the long term, and done so quietly and subtly that we're absolutely shocked when we realize how separated our past selves can be from our present ones.
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mental illness/personality disorder acceptance isn't "i should be able to do what i want forever with no consequences because of my disorder, and if you get mad at me for being an asshole then you are being ableist"
instead it's not believing in thought crime. it's not thinking that low empathy makes you a bad person. it's not judging attention-seeking behavior. it's not enforcing ableist societal standards on people who can't meet them. it's being understanding when people are trying their best. it's not thinking that doing bad things makes you irredeemably a bad person forever, and supporting people who want to do better.
you do not deserve to have your harmful behaviors 100% excused just because you are mentally ill. you are still hurting people. you don't have the moral right to hurt people, and it doesn't make you superior to not want to get better.
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Maybe if some people let endogenics exist as a category instead of calling them all fakers then less people would seek out medical help in order to validate their system lol
Like if the problem is 'there's a lot of people self-diagnosing DID despite not having the symptoms' maybe the solution is to give them an alternative explanation that doesn't involve them secretly being a singlet actually
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