#because it's such a look

[mariana-oconnor]

The Greek Interpreter pt 2

We have literally 0 plot to theorise on so far, just Mycroft in all his Mycroftian glory.

"I have had something quite after your own heart--a most singular problem--submitted to my judgement. I really had not the energy to follow it up save in a very incomplete fashion, but it gave me a basis for some pleasing speculation. If you would care to hear the facts--"

This is a bit like when my Mum tells me that I should look at the crossword she's started. Mycroft wants to share his enjoyment with his brother. Such a good older sibling. Also, he's too lazy to actually do the legwork required. But that's what younger siblings are for, isn't it? Or at least that's what my older brother tells me.

"This is Wednesday evening," said Mr Melas. "Well then, it was Monday night—only two days ago, you understand—that all this happened. I am an interpreter, as perhaps my neighbour there has told you. I interpret all languages—or nearly all—"

...He interprets all languages.

All languages.

All languages. Or nearly all. That's a lot of languages, my dude. I know some people who speak a lot of languages, but none of them comes close to speaking all languages. 5 or 6 I think is the most I've ever encountered, and only fluently in 3 or 4. There are definitely people out there who speak more, but nearly all. This man is officially the most knowledgeable person who has ever appeared in a Sherlock Holmes story. He's a linguistic genius.

The Internet tells me that historically the person who is said to have spoken/understood the most languages was Sir John Bowring, a 19th century governor of Hong Kong. He understood 200 languages and spoke 100.

The person who currently holds the record lives in Brazil and claims to speak 59.

The BBC website tells me that there are up to 7000 different languages, although 90% are spoken by less than 100,000 people. But Mr Melas does not specify that he speaks all the common languages or all the popular languages. He says he speaks nearly all languages.

Yes I am taking this literally purely to be difficult. It's more amusing that way. I know this is a case of hyperbole for fiction's sake, but I like the idea that Mr Melas speaks 6000+ languages. This is another case for random supernatural occurrences within the stories.

"I was not surprised, therefore, on Monday night when a Mr Latimer, a very fashionably dressed young man, came up to my rooms and asked me to accompany him in a cab which was waiting at the door. A Greek friend had come to see him upon business, he said, and as he could speak nothing but his own tongue, the services of an interpreter were indispensable."

First, I like the note that Mr Latimer is a fashion-conscious man. Second, how did he and the Greek man come to be friends if they could not speak each other's languages at all. Have they always spoken through other people? Maybe you should try learning some Greek, Mr Latimer.

"It was certainly more roomy than the ordinary four-wheeled disgrace to London, and the fittings, though frayed, were of rich quality."

Mr Melas is a cab snob. 'Four-wheeled disgrace to London' is a delightful turn of phrase.

"I had ventured some remark as to this being a roundabout way to Kensington, when my words were arrested by the extraordinary conduct of my companion. "He began by drawing a most formidable-looking bludgeon loaded with lead from his pocket, and switching it backward and forward several times, as if to test its weight and strength. Then he placed it without a word upon the seat beside him.

Well, this can't be good. Shenanigans are afoot. I like that Mr Latimer is very clear about this, though. Oh yeah, I'm a bad guy. Look at my bad guy credentials. There's no beating around the bush, just straight up threat of violence. Clear. To the point. No need for words.

"'This is very extraordinary conduct, Mr Latimer,' I stammered. 'You must be aware that what you are doing is quite illegal.' "'It is somewhat of a liberty, no doubt,'"

This is such a polite exchange. 'Uh, you are aware that kidnapping me is illegal, sir?' 'Yes, it's a little rude of me.'

So casual, so matter of fact. If I were kidnapped I wouldn't say 'hi, you know this is illegal, right?' But then i don't speak 6000+ languages, so what do I know about talking?

Realistically, this is terrifying, but Mr Melas' account is hilarious.

'I beg you to remember that no one knows where you are, and that, whether you are in this carriage or in my house, you are equally in my power.'

Less hilarious. More terrifying.

"'Well done, well done! No ill-will, Mr Melas, I hope, but we could not get on without you. If you deal fair with us you'll not regret it, but if you try any tricks, God help you!' He spoke in a nervous, jerky fashion, and with little giggling laughs in between, but somehow he impressed me with fear more than the other."

Yep, this guy seems unstable. Also 'no ill will'? You literally kidnapped him with a threat of violence. Yes ill will. Much ill will. I don't think you know what ill will means.

"'But say no more than you are told to say, or--' here came the nervous giggle again--'you had better never have been born.'"

Yep... this is the sign of a totally stable and reasonable person and absolutely not a creepy murderer. At least we already know Mr Melas survives to relate this tale, or I'd be certain he was about to be buried under the floorboards.

"'You are to ask the questions, Mr Melas, and he will write the answers. Ask him first of all whether he is prepared to sign the papers?'"

The fact he is not allowed to talk indicates that something about his voice would give something away. If they don't know Greek then writing and speaking are pretty much interchangeable for getting information across, so there would be no need to stop him from speaking because he can write incriminating things just as easily. Unless, one of them can read Greek, in which case why get an interpreter? So I stand by my thought that his voice must be incriminating. Or he's mute. Always possible.

"I took to adding on little sentences of my own to each question, innocent ones at first, to test whether either of our companions knew anything of the matter, and then, as I found that they showed no signs I played a more dangerous game."

Resourceful and intelligent. He tests the water first with non-incriminating stuff, then gets more in depth.

"'Harold,' said she, speaking English with a broken accent. 'I could not stay away longer. It is so lonely up there with only—Oh, my God, it is Paul!' "These last words were in Greek, and at the same instant the man with a convulsive effort tore the plaster from his lips, and screaming out 'Sophy! Sophy!' rushed into the woman's arMs Their embrace was but for an instant, however, for the younger man seized the woman and pushed her out of the room, while the elder easily overpowered his emaciated victim, and dragged him away through the other door.

OK, so Sophy seems to have been having quite a pleasant time of it all told. While poor Paul's been going through it. Kind of dumb of them to let her walk in on them, though. I assume that they had a plan to avoid that which somehow went wrong. Also, if she's being held of her own free will, this seems like it might put an end to that? Unless she's very gullible.

So, brother? I'm thinking relative because he has to sign something before she can get married? Or he wants her to be married? Presumably there's some sort of fortune involved.

"'We should not have troubled you, only that our friend who speaks Greek and who began these negotiations has been forced to return to the East. It was quite necessary for us to find some one to take his place, and we were fortunate in hearing of your powers.'"

'forced to return to the East' is that like saying he's in the cellar looking for a cask of amontillado? Maybe he just had a family emergency... maybe?

Also 'your powers', yes. Mr Melas's linguistic skills are clearly a super power.

"if you speak to a human soul about this—one human soul, mind—well, may God have mercy upon your soul!"

This threat clearly worked well, considering Mr Melas has so far told at least two souls about the situation, with great glee. I get the impression that Mr Melas is a stifled adrenaline junkie and this is the best thing that has happened to him all year.

"I cannot tell you the loathing and horror with which this insignificant-looking man inspired me. I could see him better now as the lamp-light shone upon him. His features were peaky and sallow, and his little pointed beard was thready and ill-nourished. [...] The terror of his face lay in his eyes, however, steel grey, and glistening coldly with a malignant, inexorable cruelty in their depths."

Sounds delightful.

Honestly, it's the little pointy beard that clearly marks him as a villain, though. Everyone knows that.

Although if he doesn't put more care into maintaining it, the league of villains will have him cast out for failure to maintain proper villainous standards.

"Any steps?" he asked. Mycroft picked up the Daily News, which was lying on the side-table. "'Anybody supplying any information to the whereabouts of a Greek gentleman named Paul Kratides, from Athens, who is unable to speak English, will be rewarded. A similar reward paid to any one giving information about a Greek lady whose first name is Sophy. X 2473.' That was in all the dailies. No answer."

Well now they're definitely going to know he said something. Subtle.

"In the meantime, Mr Melas, I should certainly be on my guard, if I were you, for of course they must know through these advertisements that you have betrayed them."

You don't say? No, seriously. I'd be worried if I were him. But apparently he's just got absolutely no fear.

"Then the brother--for that, I fancy, must be the relationship--comes over from Greece to interfere. He imprudently puts himself into the power of the young man and his older associate. They seize him and use violence towards him in order to make him sign some papers to make over the girl's fortune--of which he may be trustee--to them."

OK, so clearly that's entirely wrong because it's Watson's thoughts on the matter. So back to the drawing board. Not to disparage Watson, at all... but there's no way it's right if it's his theory.

"I really fancy that you are not far from the truth."

Really??!? That's probably the biggest surprise of this whole story so far.

Sophy seemed to have no inkling of any crime or ill-intent on the part of the bad guys, so they're clearly being subtle with her. Or they were. You don't just wander around a kidnapper's house going 'I came to find you Harold, because I was so lonely all alone up there'. Unless you're actually a character in an erotic thriller novel, then I guess that probably is a thing you would do.

I don't think this is an erotic thriller, however.

Did Watson really get this one right? I guess we'll find out next time.

[faeriekit]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

[hellishqueer]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[amartworks]

had a fun experience on the subway the other day

[mumblesplash]

comics as an art form make me insane. they’re so difficult to do well. there’s so many different ways to make sequential art work and most of them are deeply unintuitive. onomatopoeia that feels completely ridiculous to put down often reads seamlessly. panels on a page become a fractally nested image composition challenge that’s only possible to lose because if you do a good job no one will notice. you have to direct the readers’ eyes on a specific path across the page but also account for the fact that they won’t follow it. comic time isn’t linear. if the order of events isn’t crystal clear the story becomes incomprehensible. sometimes you need to do this on purpose. all this for a medium almost universally considered less effective than animation and less respectable than plain text. even its own name doesn’t take it seriously

[tuttle-did-it]

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.

This woman has lost her fucking mind.

Jo, are you okay?

[sillyguy-supreme]

white americans when you tell them that the idea of climate change as an impending disaster is a reductive first world perspective because it’s a tangible reality for many in the global south already:

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[reputayswift]

In the 2000s you sat a kid in front of a Neopets pet page and they’d learn the fundamentals of html within the hour

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[luwha]

Tumblr: No NSFW! You know how it is we banned it because of the bots in 2018!

Also tumblr:

[dr11ft]

chicana miku 🤎

[itsdabatt]

happy national impersonate your favorite vigilante day to those who celebrate

Part 2

[the-maw-consumes]

do you think it'll let up soon?

static version: