#because of the fear of being perceived and potentially judged

[female-malice]

Women have long surpassed men in the arena of environmental action; across age groups and countries, females tend to live a more eco-friendly lifestyle. Compared to men, women litter less, recycle more, and leave a smaller carbon footprint. Some researchers have suggested that personality differences, such as women’s prioritization of altruism, may help to explain this gender gap in green behavior.

Our own research suggests an additional possibility: men may shun eco-friendly behavior because of what it conveys about their masculinity. It’s not that men don’t care about the environment. But they also tend to want to feel macho, and they worry that eco-friendly behaviors might brand them as feminine.

The research, conducted with three other colleagues, consisted of seven experiments involving more than 2,000 American and Chinese participants. We showed that there is a psychological link between eco-friendliness and perceptions of femininity. Due to this “green-feminine stereotype,” both men and women judged eco-friendly products, behaviors, and consumers as more feminine than their non-green counterparts.  In one experiment, participants of both sexes described an individual who brought a reusable canvas bag to the grocery store as more feminine than someone who used a plastic bag—regardless of whether the shopper was a male or female.  In another experiment, participants perceived themselves to be more feminine after recalling a time when they did something good versus bad for the environment.

Men may eschew green products and behaviors to avoid feeling feminine.  In one study, we threatened the masculinity of male participants by showing them a pink gift card with a floral design and asking them to imagine using the card to purchase three products (lamp, backpack, and batteries).  Compared to men shown a standard gift card, threatened men were more likely to choose the non-green rather than green version of each item.  The idea that emasculated men try to reassert their masculinity through non-environmentally-friendly choices suggests that in addition to littering, wasting water, or using too much electricity, one could harm the environment merely by making men feel feminine.

Ironically, although men are often considered to be less sensitive than women, they seem to be particularly sensitive when it comes to perceptions of their gender identity. In fact, a previous study suggests that men find it to be more difficult than women to choose between masculine and feminine versions of everyday food and household items and will usually change their preferences to be more manly when allowed time to think about their decisions. Something as simple as holding a purse, ordering a colorful drink, or talking in a high voice can lead to social harm, so men tend to keep a sharp eye out for any of these potential snares. 

So what can pro-environmental marketers do to buffer against the threat posed to men by the green-feminine stereotype? First, eco-friendly marketing messages and materials can be designed to affirm men’s masculinity and give them the confidence to overcome their fear of being judged as feminine when engaging in green behaviors.  For example, in one experiment, men who received feedback affirming their masculinity were more interested in purchasing an eco-friendly version of a cleaning product. Men who feel secure in their manhood are more comfortable going green.

Second, green products and organizations can be marketed as more “Men”-vironmentally-friendly, with more masculine fonts, colors, words, and images used in the branding. To illustrate, men in one experiment were more likely to donate to a green non-profit with a masculine logo (black and dark blue colors featuring a howling wolf, with the name “Wilderness Rangers” in a bold font) than one with a traditional logo (green and light tan colors featuring a tree, with the name “Friends of Nature” in a frilly font).  And in a field study conducted at a BMW dealership in China, male customers were more interested in a hybrid vehicle after viewing a print ad featuring a masculine term in the model’s description than when viewing the traditional print ad.

Together, these findings highlight how the green-feminine stereotype inhibits men from taking eco-friendly actions, and suggest that masculine affirmation and masculine branding may be effective in narrowing the gender gap in environmentalism. Make the man feel manly, and he’s more likely to go green.

–

MEN ARE IDIOTS. MEN ARE IDIOTS. MEN ARE IDIOTS.

THE COLOR GREEN IS NOW "TOO FEMININE" FOR MEN APPARENTLY.

FUCK THIS. FUCK YOUR 33 SPORTS CARS. FUCK YOU.

ANDREW TATE SMALL DICK ENERGY @ GET A LIFE DOT COM

WE DON'T NEED TO AFFIRM THE MASCULINITY OF THESE DEFICIENT HYPERSENSITIVE INSECURE BETA MOIDS. WE NEED TO PUBLICLY SHAME THEM. THAT'S THE LANGUAGE THEY SPEAK. THAT'S THE LANGUAGE THEY'LL RESPOND TO.

[e-louise-bates]

Watching the World Figure Skating Championships this past week, I realized all over again how frustrating it is that we have dissolved the complexity of the sport into two categories: technical ability and artistic ability (aka technical elements and program components, according to the judging rubric). Because to my eyes, and I realize this makes me sound fully my age and then some, what is (generally) lacking in figure skating currently is not artistry, as many people complain: it's basic skating skills. The top-ranked male skater in the world right now has such scratchy edges and poor control when he's not performing his elements that it is painful to watch at times. He may be able to do a quad axel, (and it is a thing of beauty,) but if he ever attempted edges or footwork like we used to see in the days of figures, he'd fall flat on his face. Spins may be spectacular and complicated, but I can count on one hand the number of skaters who don't need suitcases for how far they travel when they spin. Programs may even be choreographed well and performed well, but again, it doesn't make up for lack of edge work, control, precision, and quickness.

I know we can't move backward in any sport, and I wouldn't want to. Figures are not coming back. I just wish that we could somehow celebrate the sport moving forward in a way that added to its complexity and beauty, rather than replacing those parts of it with technical prowess and static routines where even the choreography is limited to elements like "choreo sequence level 1" or "step sequence level 2."

There are a lot of brilliant skaters out there right now, and I guess it just makes me sad that we don't get to see them ever reach their full potential because of the way in which the sport has shifted. And ultimately, has the sport improved because of it? If we're talking popularity, no. Outside of the skating world, nobody cares that we have a man who can do a quad axel. That's not bringing viewers rushing to the events. Stars on Ice is not touring through the US this year for the first time since it began in 1987--citing a difficulty in finding venues and booking skaters, but I have to believe a lack of ticket sales is contributing to both of those difficulties.

And if we're talking the sport being better intrinsically ... well, when almost all the best skaters in the world have to retire before the age of thirty because of hip and knee problems (and for some female skaters, before the age of twenty), when there's nothing left for a skater after he or she is done competing because there's no professional figure skating world anymore, when the sport is even more riddled with scandal now than it was in the 1990s and early 2000s ... I'd have to say no to that as well.

In short (she says, ignoring the fact that nothing about this post is short), this doesn't actually feel like progress to me--in many ways, it feels like the sport of figure skating as a whole is moving backward, despite the technical advances. And that has nothing to do with a perceived lack of artistic ability in the skaters, but rather has to do with the breaking down of something complex and intricate into disparate parts and then ignoring the fact that there's nothing to hold them together.

I hope there is a shift soon, or else I fear that this sport I love so well will vanish entirely.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

(This one's a long ask..) NPD + BPD + autism experiences is thinking you're just an absolutely good and the most morally correct person ever. You are a hero and you are an absolute gem to society. You'll fix all the problems society has, especially the systems that hurt the marginalized and hurt. You genuinely think you can lead a revolution or play an important role in it. You genuinely think you're the only person in your political wing that has the "best" politics and is the most morally correct and least damaging/most helpful thing ever.

You change your entire vocabulary to be more inclusive and non-hurtful/non-discriminatory, no matter how much the change is. It's exhausting when you slip up, and you either feel ashamed or you call yourself an exception and give yourself that little grace. You tell yourself you can do it, and that if you can do it anyone else can. You judge everyone else who thinks differently from you, because they're suddenly bad, bigoted, conservative, harmful people and you're the only one next to a select few/some people you follow who have good morals/politics.

You feel like you're the therapist friend, you feel like you were built to help everyone around you and save lives. You are the best person at helping anyone and everyone with their problems and you're perfect.

You end up being so obsessed with morals and feel like it's so enveloped in your identity, and you can't handle it when everyone has different morals from you. Or you can handle it, but it's just... exhausting or causes you to split on others. You have an intense desire for justice, fairness, kindness, and compassion at ALL times... and sometimes it becomes debilitating.

It destroys how you perceive others and how you interact with them. You so badly want to be the best at Leftist, anti-capitalist politics. You don't want to be problematic. You never want to hurt anyone, you want to be perfect and good and a hero. That's what you are. You're morally perfect and you can do literally no wrong. If you ever do wrong you end up shame spiraling or getting defensive, and it takes you all your strength to admit you did a wrong and hurt someone. It's just the shame that comes with potentially discomforting someone or hurting them or coming across as uneducated/uninformed. It's the fear of messing up in front of everyone and no longer being seen as a nice person, just a creep. Just a horrible, evil thing. It all just makes you no longer feel pure, morally good, self-righteous, heroic, or anything positive. You just feel sick and angry. You blame yourself, you blame others, you blame your abusers and bullies. You don't know why you're like this.

.

[popatochisssp]

so Vi and Hunter live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, huh? What’s that like? Also, I know that Mal is a bit wary of his claws and it hyper vigilant with them around others, but is Vi the same way? How do those two differ personality-wise?

It works for them!

Hunter (Swapfell Fruition Papyrus) likes the outdoors and being able to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, so he really enjoys having a place out where neighbors and rules and cops are at least a few miles off. He can head into town if he’s looking for entertainment, or company, but otherwise he’s got a place to go back to that’s remote and quiet and all his…well, mostly his, anyway.

Vi (Swapfell Fruition Sans) is away a lot for work but when he’s working from home or just getting back from a trip, he likes the seclusion too—nothing better than getting to settle in, kick off your shoes, unbuckle your belt, and go hog-wild on a box of cookies have a snack knowing no one’s around to judge you…except maybe your brother, who’s statistically more likely to be out in the woods somewhere than sitting in the living room.

As for Vi’s claws, they never got as sharp as Mal’s (Swapfell Sans), because Vi didn’t have to fend for himself (and his brother) in the same way. Vi’s not weak, but he’s not as strong as Mal either. He’s smart, and fast, and he can hold his own in a fight but he’s not a finisher because he was never meant to be and—because Gaster was in the picture to ensure that Hunter developed into the asset he was meant to be—Vi never had to.

For the same reason ('he never had to'), Vi never really developed a lot of people skills. Mal is charming and knows how to say what people want to hear, to get them to do what he wants them to do. That was a vital skill for him to learn and lean into as a young skeleton on his own with an even younger skeleton to look out for, to disarm enemies, make allies, earn sympathy or reciprocity from those who otherwise might not care what happened to him (and Rus).

But for Vi, people weren’t a potential source of help or favors. For him, people were just eyes and ears—and more importantly, mouths, that could report on things they saw or heard, to people who shouldn’t know those things. Loose lips could tip off a target early, or identify him and Hunter as involved parties, or worse, let some things about Vi and his future plans get back to Gaster.

So while Vi is very aware of people, they were more a thing for him to avoid, steer clear and duck the notice of, and that’s pretty apparent anytime he actually has to talk to someone. He’s not smooth, he’s not charming… he’s very direct and straightforward, awkward and tends not to be much for social niceties beyond the bare minimum of basic manners, leaving the moment his goal or obligation is completed.

As for how he and Mal compare, I’d say they’re both calculating and shrewd, both paranoid as hell, both self-motivated and driven regardless of sacrifice…but Mal shines in social situations and loves to impress, be envied, be feared, be respected, be known to those around him.

Vi would much rather disappear, be hidden, be unseen, unknown—though he does notably run hot and cold on it and sometimes being perceived is the only thing he wants… but he tends to squash that want deep, deep down until it goes away. It might be easier for him to demand ask for attention from a partner he trusts, if he can ever manage to find himself one of those.

[lifestyle-hub]

The Real Reason Women Rarely Make the First Move: Fear of Rejection Explained

Image Credit: Keira Burton

The Myth of the Bold Female

For years, we've been fed the narrative of the fearless, independent woman who's not afraid to go after what she wants. While there’s no doubt that women have made incredible strides, the idea that all women are naturally bold and assertive when it comes to love is a harmful stereotype.

Why do many women shy away from taking that initial step? The answer is more complex than it seems and deeply rooted in one powerful emotion, the fear of rejection.

The Social Conditioning Dilemma

Let’s start with the basics. From a young age, many women are subtly (and sometimes not-so-subtly) conditioned to believe that they should be pursued rather than the pursuers. Think about the fairy tales, movies, and even advice columns many of us grew up with, the prince always comes to rescue the princess, not the other way around. This narrative has ingrained the idea that making the first move isn’t a woman’s role. Even as societal norms progress, this deep-seated conditioning isn’t easily shaken off.

But it’s not just about societal norms. There’s also the harsh reality that women who do make the first move are often judged differently. They might be labeled as “too forward” or “desperate,” which adds another layer of hesitation. This fear of judgment ties directly into the fear of rejection. It’s not just about the possibility of hearing a “no” it’s about the potential social repercussions that come with it.

Rejection Isn't Just a Word, It's a Whole Experience

When we talk about rejection, it’s easy to think of it as a simple “yes or no” scenario. But rejection, especially in a romantic context, isn’t just about the outcome. It’s about the emotional toll it takes on a person’s self-esteem and confidence. For women, who are frequently expected to uphold certain social standards, the fear of rejection can be amplified. It’s not just the fear of being turned down; it’s the fear of what that rejection might imply. Does it mean they’re not attractive enough? Not interesting enough? These questions can spiral into a negative self-assessment that’s difficult to shake.

Moreover, women are more likely to internalize rejection. Studies have shown that while men might shrug off a rejection as “not the right time” or “not the right person,” women are more prone to questioning their self-worth. This difference in response to rejection isn’t just biological, it’s also a result of the way women are socialized to perceive themselves and their value in relationships.

The Role of Power Dynamics

Let’s face it, relationships and dating aren’t just about romance (correct me if I'm wrong). There’s an underlying power dynamic that can make the dating game feel like a minefield. When a woman makes the first move, she’s stepping into a traditionally male role, which can upset the usual balance of power.

This shift can make some men uncomfortable and lead to a power struggle, where the man might feel the need to “reclaim” his role by rejecting the woman, not necessarily because he’s not interested, but because he’s not used to the dynamic. 

Get it?

For women, understanding these dynamics adds another layer of complexity to making the first move. It’s not just about taking a chance on someone, it’s about navigating the potential power shifts and ensuring they’re not considered too aggressive or overstepping.

The Biological Factor

Believe it or not, biology might also play a role. Research suggests that women are often more cautious when it comes to mating decisions. This is rooted in the evolutionary imperative to protect offspring. A woman's choice of partner is more critical due to the significant investment required in pregnancy and child-rearing. As a result, women may be more inclined to weigh their options carefully before making a move.

The Impact of Past Experiences

Past experiences play a significant role in how both men and women approach dating. For women who have made the first move before and faced rejection, the memory of that experience can be enough to deter them from trying again. The sting of rejection lingers, and the fear of repeating that pain becomes a powerful motivator to stay on the sidelines.

In fact, research shows that negative experiences have a stronger impact on our behavior than positive ones. This is known as the negativity bias, where the brain is more likely to remember and dwell on negative events. So, a single rejection can overshadow multiple positive experiences, making the prospect of putting oneself out there again seem too risky.

Changing the Narrative

It’s not all doom and gloom, though. The rise of empowerment movements and the shift towards more egalitarian (social equality) relationships are slowly changing the narrative. More women are taking control of their dating lives and feeling empowered to make the first move. Apps like Bumble, which require women to initiate conversation, are a testament to this change. It’s becoming more socially acceptable for women to take the lead, and with that acceptance comes a reduction in the fear of rejection. But societal change takes time, and while we’re moving in the right direction, there’s still a long way to go. However, even with these strides, the fear of rejection remains a significant hurdle.

So, What's the Real Reason?

When we strip away the layers of social conditioning, power dynamics, and past experiences, the core reason women rarely make the first move is simple, the fear of rejection. It’s a fear that’s deeply ingrained, reinforced by societal norms, and amplified by the potential emotional fallout.

Overcoming the Fear

Remember, it's okay to feel nervous or scared. Everyone does. Building self-confidence can also make a huge difference. The more you believe in yourself, the less you'll fear rejection.

And let's not forget about challenging societal norms. By encouraging open conversations about relationships and gender roles, we can create a more supportive environment for women.

Go get 'em, girls!

Signing out, kad

References

1. Verywell Mind - "The Psychology of Rejection"

2. Cosmopolitan - "Making the first move: How these women do it"

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I'm a male Intj (20yrs) and I really appreciate the work you put out here. I seem to struggle opening myself to others or let people close to my life.

This maybe is due to being sheltered as a child because my mother and grandmother were afraid of the harshness of the world (kidnapping, stranger danger, shooting, etc.) would negatively my mindset but also expect me to socialize while being hidden away from the world.

I did grew up with 2 cousins, one is a year younger than me (Infp) and the other who is a year older than me (Entj), I was the middle child of the two. My Entj cousin likes to poke at my flaws at every chance he gets such calling me ugly, stupid, and even goes out of his way to berate my introverted nature. (Inferior Fi) Me being the level headed yet emotional of the two would try and retaliate his attacks but would fail everytime because my family sees it as a sign of disrespect or he would always find a way for a harsher combat.

He has grew out of that phase and has nutured his Inferior Fi over the years and I learn to not take things personally over the years but the doubt and insecurity is still present within me whenever I try to find opportunities in friendships or relationships.

I don't mind helping my peers in a project that requires thorough planning, action and execution of a project. (Ni-Te) But I would not necessarily connect with my peers on a deeper level even with potential relationship opportunities, I would most likely move on without a second thought.

This is also prevalent in my church group that I participated in to help them with the music but I will still remain emotionally closed because I don't see the need to socialize with my peers but I also don't want to end up feeling lonely.

I have a fear of abandonment since I was child because the friendship I tried making has failed often due to lack of interest (sports or social trends they like to talk about) or I would feel as if they don't appreciate being me as a person and would only befriend me out of pity. (Which is something I do not like)

I normally don't talk about this to anybody because in general society, males are viewed as masculine men who toughens up their wounds and would be a sissy if they shed a tear of emotion. Which is a belief I disagree with. I am sick and tired of feeling lonely and closed off and I want to find a way to become more approachable and more open towards people because I can't find a way.

What's your input on this? Thank you for your time.

-----------------------

Asking for "input" is too vague, and vague questions get vague responses. It's not my place to tell people how to live. You ought to live your life in the way you want. If you want to be alone, be alone. If you want to have friends, make friends. I won't judge your decisions if you don't.

The issue is that you have not made clear what you want and/or you are not fully committed to putting out the hard work required to get what you want. You seem to suffer from ambivalence, of wanting and not wanting something at the same time, which usually indicates an underlying fear of change. People who fear change might also use the past as an excuse to avoid change. So, is your description of a troubled past merely an explanation or is it being used as an excuse as well?

INTJs grow and mature by making the most of themselves in the world. It is difficult for Te to feel at peace when you keep ignoring glaring evidence of incompetence. It is difficult to live up to your greater potential as long as you are held back by fear, allow fear to control your decision-making, and/or feel too afraid to reach for the things you need and want in life. Generally speaking, the most effective way to overcome the kind of fear that is disproportionate to the perceived threat is to confront it. Do the thing you fear in order to learn that it is something within your power to handle. If you don't grasp and create opportunities for yourself to learn and grow, you get stuck in life.

It seems that up until now, 1) you haven't found the right people to connect with due to undervaluing relationships and thus not searching properly, and 2) you haven't nurtured enough curiosity about people to connect well with them (remember that meaningful relationships should not be merely instrumental or one-sided). The first task is to clarify what exactly it is you want and set up a better plan to build a social network and follow through with it. From there, you will also have to work to improve your social skills to develop the relationships properly. (It's a common topic here, so you can also read past posts about social skills or consult the book recommendations on the resources page.)

[viktorkondrakis]

Paganism: Hellenic Atheists

Early humans saw the beauty of nature, the spectacle of the cosmos, and concluded that there was some element of design to its systematic structure and diversity. They called these designers theoi, elohim, devas, orisha, dei, aesir. But among these communities there were those sceptics who interpreted the gods as more metaphorical than literal.

The Atomists in ancient Greece believed the world was purely material, with the gods representing natural phenomena or at least not being as people perceived them. Philosophers like Diagoras and Epicurus were agnostic about the gods' existence, and attempted to steer people away from unhealthy superstitions and harmful dogmatism.

This nuance of thought seems to be under attack in many Heathen and Pagan communities, with some literalist devotees of the faiths insisting that the gods MUST be literal beings involved in human affairs, or at least abstract entities who can influence the world in some way.

The way I see it, paganism has ways to solve the problem of evil in ways monotheism usually can't. Monotheists would argue that their "God" is omnipotent, omniscient, omnispective, and omnibenevolent, but the state of our world would bring into question any one of those attributes.

To use an ancient argument:

"If God wants to prevent evil, but is not able to, They are not all-powerful. If They are able to, but not willing, They are evil. If They are able to and willing, why allow evil? And if They are neither able to nor willing, why call them God?"

But pagans and heathens usually don't consider their gods to have omni-attributes. The reason there is evil is because the gods permit it. Why? Sometimes the gods do good things, sometimes bad things. Like people.

So a pagan/heathen could be comfortable in their belief because it does not require any major moral arguments like that of the monotheists' beliefs. But there is still the requirement of evidence for the gods' existence, if not their morality.

So in many neo-pagan communities it is common to find atheistic or agnostic believers, those who see the gods as reflected in humanity and our potential to surpass our physical limits. I myself am open to the idea that the gods are very real beings who can engage in exchange-based relations with humans. We offer them things, they can offer us things, the balance is maintained.

And if these gods exist, then atheists need not worry about the afterlife. If you lived righteously, ethically, and with the interests of others at heart, they will judge you accordingly. Unlike the monotheists, we need not fear for our salvation.

But the nuance needs to remain. Freedom of thought needs to remain within our communities, even the thoughts of "godless" believers. The only ideas that should be condemned and rejected are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic and generally discriminatory beliefs based on outdated traditions and pseudoscience. Reason and faith can coexist so long as faith is based on reason.

[sandpaperdaisy]

Autism Masking and (Unintended) Parasocial Relationships

CW: masking, tangential mention of adult themes (incest, drugs) without either being a topic of this essay

By “masking” I mean the ways in which an autistic person tries to navigate the neurotypical world, generally by putting on a persona or using a different social language in order to communicate with non-autistic folks more effectively.

By “parasocial” I mean a relationship that is real to the person who experiences it, but which does not exist outside their head and therefore is not an actual back-and-forth interaction between them and the other party with equal participation.

ONWARD TO THE BLATHERING:

So yesterday, I realized something. The way in which I mask causes me to experience parasocial relationships, or lend a parasocial aspect to real life relationships, even solid ones.

Keep in mind, everything I describe below may just be me. But if you recognize yourself anywhere in there, here's proof that you're not alone!

I mask by internally imagining every single interaction I am likely to experience with any person, ever. This allows me to test out several scenarios that may result from the various things I say and do, and select what I think will be the most successful one.

I do this because otherwise, I run the risk of seeming “cold” or inconsiderate to the other person, and I would much prefer to be a good friend or associate to them. So I try very much to do the prep-work of thinking about their needs and motives BEFORE the interaction, so I won’t freeze up and ignore the other person’s needs and feelings DURING the interaction.

Generally, this has worked out satisfactorily for me and my associates, but it has its problems.

Problem 1: Friends feel analyzed.

First off, while most of my close friends and family are cool with it, at least one of them spent years chafing under the feeling of being analyzed relentlessly by me. She expressed her frustration with me “thinking so much” and looking at her like “a bug under a glass.” She also felt very judged by me. It truly hurt her to be studied so much, and that is valid and unfortunate.

Problem 2: Strangers feel uncomfortable!

Secondly, all of this pre-gaming on my part results in me living hundreds of years’ worth of lives and interactions in my head before they even occur, and frequently these interactions never occur. So if I carefully considered what to say to an artist I admire on the internet, who is not my friend or personal acquaintance, in the course of practicing how best to potentially converse with them I may have a parasocial relationship with them of several years’ standing. This is definitely the case with a couple of talented artists I admire.

When I have spent that much time observing them and approving of them in my head, if I DO eventually meet them or speak with them online I already have an extremely familiar manner with them. I am much too informal and intimate for someone who hasn't done anything to earn their trust in the real world, and who incidentally has no reason to trust them either.

This results in very understandable annoyance or discomfort for the person! It is also worth noting, that I am somewhat fortunate to be a female with this trait. Generally speaking, the recipients of my esteem feel no MORE than annoyance, because they have the sense (justified in my case) that I cannot physically harm them. If I were male, strangers I am overly friendly with might perceive more danger from my attention and feel genuine fear.

Problem 3: Emotional impact of fast-tracked friendships

There have been many times when people rejoiced from my putting in all that mental "work" ahead of time and immediately met me where I was in our parasocial relationship, instantly becoming my close friends. When this stuck, it resulted in deeply enriching and lifelong friendships (and a marriage) that persist to this day.

But it does not always stick.

From my end, this is because I can't anticipate everything. Many years ago, I had one very close friendship that began in this instantaneous (for them) manner and lasted for many blissful months. Then, one day, I discovered they enjoyed writing fiction that dealt with incest and serious psychological conflicts and suffering resulting from incestuous desires. They had a very large body of work dedicated to these themes and the incest was frequently treated in an approving manner. I did my best to approach their interests with an open mind, but I ended up failing to get past it.

Back then, I didn't see a good path forward other than to end our friendship since it was causing me to have nightmares and experience significant emotional distress. But you can imagine the pain and shock felt by my friend, whose real world experience was that I had instantly loved and befriended them and become a confidante, and now I was instantly withdrawing all love. Terrible, right?

This is the kind of thing that presumably could have been avoided if I had taken as many weeks and months to get to know them *with their participation* as I had already spent with them in my head.

Problem 4: Boys

This problem will likely apply to whomever would consider you to be a possible romantic partner. For me, it's usually been males. And considering the rigid constraints frequently placed on male emotional intimacy, it might lend itself most heavily to relationships with men.

When I've made one of these instantly emotionally intimate close friendships with a MALE, he has very often then experienced significant confusion and distress because generally, in his life experiences that would indicate I'm romantically interested in him.

This can lead to some real disappointment, and in one case possibly contributed to a close male friend's depression. To him, my freely given emotional intimacy and friendship indicated romantic love, so when I began dating, he was extremely surprised, confused, and deeply disappointed. That is not a pain I ever wished on him and it remains one of the deepest regrets of my life.

With all these pitfalls, why would you ever keep masking???

I do it because I've been doing it for over 4 decades and it's simply a part of me. If I were born without hearing, sight, or another sense there are many techniques and skills I would develop in order to still experience the life I want. As a gal who was born without a social sense, I mask! It's kind of like learning a second language on steroids (and meth and perhaps adderall).

This doesn't mean I don't believe in patience and accommodation, though. The ideal circumstance is when you've developed healthy skills to navigate the wide world AND folks are patient and open-minded when you need more help. And then you turn around and show people patience too!

Some of my masking is maladaptive and causes problems, as I've said above. For me the way forward is to know myself and know what I'm facing, and then just to keep trying my best to be a considerate mom, partner, friend, employee, and associate.

But if I've ever done any of this stuff to you, or if I ever do...know I'm genuinely sorry if you were hurt, I'd prefer to find a way that works better for us both, and you can always talk to me about it.

~Heather

[meofthestorm]

it'd be a huge help if I could pay for a therapist, right now. Because some of the stuff that goes through my head when I'm feeling down actually makes me question if I truly will be able to keep going. And it scares me that once I leave home, my family, the people who I consider close to me, I will just not be able to connect with others anymore. Call it fear of loneliness. Yeah, maybe it's that.

But then, why do I fantasize with dissappearing so much? With being able to stop the world and vanish from existence for a few days, just to relieve my head from the stress and anxiety of losing time, losing opportunities, not doing enough, not being the successful daughter my parents want me to be. It's so stupid, too. Why can't I push through like everyone else does? Why do I have to be so dramatic? Just keep going, for them. Because they'll be sad, dissappointed even, if you died now. But what will happen when they're not around anymore?

I don't want to kill myself, hell, I don't think I could gather up the courage to take my life. But isn't wishing bad enough? And I would argue with anyone that it's not a selfish act, that sometimes life isn't kind and that we shouldn't judge those who decide to commit suicide because we'll never be inside their malfunctioning brains. But I do feel fucking selfish when I wish it were me. When I think, even for a brief moment, that everything would be easier if I died suddenly. A car crash, a bullet to my head, falling from a skyscraper. Anything that would end things quickly and almost painless.

I want it. Sometimes. Only sometimes. Then I decide I'm being stupid, and it's stupid. But hey, wouldn't it be nice? To be remembered for my potential instead of the things I'm not sure I will accomplish.

On days like those, I feel myself going back to being twelve and lonely. When I would devour books and series to escape a reality where I didn't like myself, where I hated how I looked and god, I wanted desperately to avoid taking it out on my friends and family. Because nothing is worse than hating yourself and being mean with those who put up with you on top of that. I can at least be nice, right? They won't leave if they perceive as kind, good, patient, innocent. But how much of it was really me, and how much was out of a desire to belong somewhere. I don't get impulses to be rude, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I don't feel like I'm allowed, even.

And I fucking hate it when that happens. Because that means I haven't changed one bit, and I can't stomach the idea of being in high school again. Of never truly feeling happy around people I consider beautiful and wonderful friends today. Back then... i can't even remember much from back then. My brain decides to block memories where I didn't feel comfortable, where I wasn't happy.

I forgot where I was going with this. And it doesn't matter anyways, because who's going to read up until this point? Do I even want them to? Would I know how to deal with being recognized? I don't think so. Anyways, I'm not killing myself, it'll pass, it'll come back, and I'll brush it off again until something terrible hopefully happens. Terrible enough that I will finally be worthy of receiving help, and getting medicated or whatever it is that people do to control this.

[thesleepiestselkie]

I'm kicking myself for changing majors in college. I dropped what I knew I was good at and enjoyed (communications) for a passion project I couldn't follow through with (a bookstore?? en esta economía?? bruh).

I don't do shit with my ancient Greek, even though I have a book of poetry waiting for me to translate it sitting on my shelf right next to the Middle Liddell. Maybe I should do it just to upkeep the skill, but I'm not actually sure if it'd be fulfilling to do in any way at this point.

I feel like i could be a good writer, but when I had a chance to actually learn the skills, I put in the absolute minimum effort it took to maintain the pretense that I was a good student. This unfortunately is a skill I had already refined immediately following freshman year of high school.

My homeschooled 14-year-old ass decided to just not do any of my required schoolwork for a year. When anyone asked I either lied or found a way to pull off something showy at the last second to make it seem like I was actually paying attention. Then at the end of the year, my mom (shockingly, somehow) asked me for all of my work to review and grade.

Sometimes when you're homeschooled and your mom's a tradwife, your dad's a Navy chaplain, and you spend a solid half of your waking hours in church for a religion that actively wishes you harm, you develop some... bad coping mechanisms. It truly did not help that I learned when I was maybe six or so that "being independent" meant that nobody was looking at me, so the more independence I could convince my parents to give me, the less I would fear retribution for existing.

I'm like half-diagnosed ADHD (my psych agrees and is helping me use off-label meds to try to treat some of it, but I can't afford an actual diagnosis) and self-diagnosed autistic, and I feel a hell of a fucking lot safer when I feel like nobody's watching me and potentially either watching me for Mannerisms or judging me for how bad I am at skills everyone's supposed to have learned somehow .(Maybe they teach them in school but I wouldn't fucking know! LOL!) This sucks in and of itself because I'm very drawn to hobbies like YouTube and Twitch but those inherently involve Being Perceived.

I just get so.... Chidi Anagonye about everything. I have to say the most accurate and simultaneously the most empathetic version of what I mean every time (hi, abandoned communications degree). It absolutely keeps me from pursuing both my hobbies and my actual skills that I want to be working with, and I have no idea how to power through it. It feels like an impassable wall sometimes that stops me from connecting with people or getting a job that would be actually fulfilling instead of just occasionally satisfying.

Gah. Like. Fuck. Clearly it's a disability, but I'm already on anxiety meds, and in general I'm not working myself into a tizzy nearly as often as I used to, but I'm just at a dead stop with no momentum creatively because I need feedback to get better, but if anyone ever notices that I'm bad at anything I want to be swallowed by the earth instantly. So I don't know what the fuck my deal is but I would really like it to sort itself out. I know I'm like a ball of trauma or whatever but it should not be so hard to get the fuck over myself and make something.

[kmp78]

“The legal case with his record company was both a risk (to their recording deal, wallets and musical career) and resulted in a type of fight. 29 Palms was also a risk than evolved into a kind of fight. But Jared does not primarily resort to fight mode for solutions and resolutions.”

And trying to get his lawyers and agents to stop the Joaquin Joker (if true).

“A type/kind of fight” but not a fight—the difference is so small, it’s almost irrelevant because it achieves little in terms of showing who he is or isn’t. Is being a risk-taker instead of “resorting to fight mode” more positively connoted? In all the examples there’s someone on the other side who needs to give way of their position; when free soloing or starving himself to become Rayon, it’s himself that he acts against, against his fears, his needs. Didn’t he even frame the ESB climb as a story of obstacles dealt by the management that he had to overcome to get it done? He loves that narration. So aggression is inevitable.

On the other hand, you could say he isn’t a risk-taker at all because he’s mostly acting strategically and knows his resources and capabilities. If he were to step into the UFC ring, you’d know he prepared, and wouldn’t take on anyone, he’s not up to potentially beating. And then there are imponderables in life that build a risk, like with that rope malfunction in 2020, where there’s no opponent directly contradicting his will. A different type of risk. All of this is true in his case. As anon stated too, I think. I perceive him as having a sometimes contentious, rebellious mentality and don’t think it’s anything to be morally judged in and of itself, he’s an extrovert. He isn’t Ferdinand the bull.

He likes to give off the impression that he is, but we all know he's all talk... 🥱

[psycheextensions]

Why some objects freaks us out: The Uncanny Valley effect

The uncanny valley effect is a hypothesized psychological and aesthetic relation between an object's degree of resemblance to a human being and the emotional response to the object.

Mori's original hypothesis states that as the appearance of a robot is made more human, some observers' emotional response to the robot becomes increasingly positive and empathetic, until it becomes almost human, at which point the response quickly becomes strong revulsion. However, as the robot's appearance continues to become less distinguishable from that of a human being, the emotional response becomes positive once again and approaches human-to-human empathy levels. 

Yalom explains that humans construct psychological defenses to avoid existential anxiety stemming from death. One of these defenses is 'specialness', the irrational belief that aging and death as central premises of life apply to all others but oneself.[27] 

Mate selection: Automatic, stimulus-driven appraisals of uncanny stimuli elicit aversion by activating an evolved cognitive mechanism for the avoidance of selecting mates with low fertility, poor hormonal health, or ineffective immune systems based on visible features of the face and body that are predictive of those traits.[8]

Mortality salience: Viewing an "uncanny" robot elicits an innate fear of death and culturally supported defenses for coping with death's inevitability.... [P]artially disassembled androids...play on subconscious fears of reduction, replacement, and annihilation: (1) A mechanism with a human façade and a mechanical interior plays on our subconscious fear that we are all just soulless machines. (2) Androids in various states of mutilation, decapitation, or disassembly are reminiscent of a battlefield after a conflict and, as such, serve as a reminder of our mortality. (3) Since most androids are copies of actual people, they are doppelgängers and may elicit a fear of being replaced, on the job, in a relationship, and so on. (4) The jerkiness of an android's movements could be unsettling because it elicits a fear of losing bodily control.[9]

Pathogen avoidance: Uncanny stimuli may activate a cognitive mechanism that originally evolved to motivate the avoidance of potential sources of pathogens by eliciting a disgust response. "The more human an organism looks, the stronger the aversion to its defects, because (1) defects indicate disease, (2) more human-looking organisms are more closely related to human beings genetically, and (3) the probability of contracting disease-causing bacteria, viruses, and other parasites increases with genetic similarity."[8] The visual anomalies of androids, robots, and other animated human characters cause reactions of alarm and revulsion, similar to corpses and visibly diseased individuals.[10][11]

Sorites paradoxes: Stimuli with human and nonhuman traits undermine our sense of human identity by linking qualitatively different categories, human and nonhuman, by a quantitative metric: degree of human likeness.[12]

Violation of human norms: If an entity looks sufficiently nonhuman, its human characteristics are noticeable, generating empathy. However, if the entity looks almost human, it elicits our model of a human other and its detailed normative expectations. The nonhuman characteristics are noticeable, giving the human viewer a sense of strangeness. In other words, a robot which has an appearance in the uncanny valley range is not judged as a robot doing a passable job at pretending to be human, but instead as an abnormal human doing a bad job at seeming like a normal person. This has been associated with perceptual uncertainty and the theory of predictive coding.[13][14][15]

Conflicting perceptual cues: The negative effect associated with uncanny stimuli is produced by the activation of conflicting cognitive representations. Perceptual tension occurs when an individual perceives conflicting cues to category membership, such as when a humanoid figure moves like a robot, or has other visible robot features. This cognitive conflict is experienced as psychological discomfort (i.e., "eeriness"), much like the discomfort that is experienced with cognitive dissonance.[16][17] Several studies support this possibility. Mathur and Reichling found that the time subjects took to gauge a robot face's human- or mechanical-resemblance peaked for faces deepest in the uncanny valley, suggesting that perceptually classifying these faces as "human" or "robot" posed a greater cognitive challenge.[18] However, they found that while perceptual confusion coincided with the uncanny valley, it did not mediate the effect of the uncanny valley on subjects' social and emotional reactions—suggesting that perceptual confusion may not be the mechanism behind the uncanny valley effect. Burleigh and colleagues demonstrated that faces at the midpoint between human and non-human stimuli produced a level of reported eeriness that diverged from an otherwise linear model relating human-likeness to affect.[19] Yamada et al. found that cognitive difficulty was associated with negative affect at the midpoint of a morphed continuum (e.g., a series of stimuli morphing between a cartoon dog and a real dog).[20] Ferrey et al. demonstrated that the midpoint between images on a continuum anchored by two stimulus categories produced a maximum of negative affect, and found this with both human and non-human entities.[16] Schoenherr and Burleigh provide examples from history and culture that evidence an aversion to hybrid entities, such as the aversion to genetically modified organisms ("Frankenfoods").[21] Finally, Moore developed a Bayesian mathematical model that provides a quantitative account of perceptual conflict.[22] There has been some debate as to the precise mechanisms that are responsible. It has been argued that the effect is driven by categorization difficulty,[19][20] configural processing, perceptual mismatch,[23] frequency-based sensitization,[24] and inhibitory devaluation.[16]

Threat to humans' distinctiveness and identity: Negative reactions toward very humanlike robots can be related to the challenge that this kind of robot leads to the categorical human – non-human distinction. Kaplan[25] stated that these new machines challenge human uniqueness, pushing for a redefinition of humanness. Ferrari, Paladino and Jetten[26] found that the increase of anthropomorphic appearance of a robot leads to an enhancement of threat to the human distinctiveness and identity. The more a robot resembles a real person, the more it represents a challenge to our social identity as human beings.

Religious definition of human identity: The existence of artificial but humanlike entities is viewed by some as a threat to the concept of human identity. An example can be found in the theoretical framework of psychiatrist Irvin Yalom. Yalom explains that humans construct psychological defenses to avoid existential anxiety stemming from death. One of these defenses is 'specialness', the irrational belief that aging and death as central premises of life apply to all others but oneself.[27] The experience of the very humanlike "living" robot can be so rich and compelling that it challenges humans' notions of "specialness" and existential defenses, eliciting existential anxiety. In folklore, the creation of human-like, but soulless, beings is often shown to be unwise, as with the golem in Judaism, whose absence of human empathy and spirit can lead to disaster, however good the intentions of its creator.[28]

Uncanny valley of the mind or AI: Due to rapid advancements in the areas of artificial intelligence and affective computing, cognitive scientists have also suggested the possibility of an "uncanny valley of mind".[29][30] Accordingly, people might experience strong feelings of aversion if they encounter highly advanced, emotion-sensitive technology. Among the possible explanations for this phenomenon, both a perceived loss of human uniqueness and expectations of immediate physical harm are discussed by contemporary research.

Installation from 59th edition of Venice Biennale.

[fishnapple]

CRYSTAL READING : Shine the light on your hidden fears and give them a hug.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Feedback is much appreciated ❤️

About me | Masterpost

Buy me a drink or book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)

1. Strawberry quartz

I keep seeing the troupe in movies and books about the pairing of an innocent child with a jaded, big grown-up who ended up travelling together through some fateful encounter, like the series Sweet tooth in Netflix (recommended)

Your outer appearance and the image that everyone sees may not fully reflects who you really are inside. This is a subconscious fear that you yourself not really aware of.

A fear of letting your vulnerable side, your childlike, innermost pure part of yourself out into the open. Some part deep within you yearns to let go, to be able to just exist without fear, worries and restrictions, to feel as one with people, to be soft and be taken care of. Somehow you find it’s hard to accept it, to act in that way would be considered as ‘weak’ by you. So you try to drown out that inner voice by speaking in a louder voice to the world.

In the eyes of the world, you show no trace of fear and insecurity. A confident, secured, friendly image. Your words hold weight, people listen to you but sometimes your communicating style would be perceived as rough and forceful. The repressed part in you would somehow find some ways to sneak out, to be expressed. If you ever have had some sudden emotional outbursts, some hurtful words blurted out unconsciously, take a deep breath and think carefully about what is the cause of it. Anything that is perceived as restriction coming from others would trigger a lash out, like a challenge to your unshakable confidence. Your inner-self has been already under so much restrictions by yourself, any outside force would just put more oil into the fire.

Just your acknowledgement of this part about yourself would help tremendously. Instead of always trying to be strong and powerful, being more open to the tender part of yourself would bring a wave of awareness to other people also. You have the potential to be a great teacher that can bring changes. You can show to others that sometimes it’s okay to be weak, it’s okay to just float, to feel lost sometimes. Let the child walks with you side by side, not fearfully hiding behind.

2. Flourite

The stone that represents you landed right on the center of the chart. Somehow whatever fear you are having, there is this part of you that is just immovable. The lesson is to always find the way back to that center place.

You have a very open aura that is warm like sunshine. Others could see your optimism clearly. You express what you believe in without reservation and judgment, the same is applied for other’s belief and opinions also. But then later on, you would sometimes have doubts about how would your way of living your life and your beliefs are perceived by other people.

You stay true to yourself. Your authenticity is shining, because it’s so visible, there are bound to be some clashes with others. Not everyone can agree with your way readily.

Your fear would be about saying something that is considered outlandish and then be judged harshly for it. Would your closed ones and people around you accept your authenticity with open arms? Would their affection decrease when they are not agreeing with you? Would you be considered weird if you speak the truth? Those would be some doubts that you have.

But there is something that you need to consider. Would a clash in opinions or the way you live really would bring estrangement? Of course, you will always be judged by someone. You can’t control other’s judgment, but not everyone is like that. Some will embrace your quirks lovingly. Maybe you can’t charm the mass, but there will be some crowds that will appreciate what you have to offer, your insights, your compassion, your generosity, your authenticity.

If you seek a sense of belonging in people, just find the right people for you. Know that differences don’t have to mean solitude.

3. Amethyst

So scattered and distant. I sense a fear of hopelessness, that life would one day becomes bleak and empty without meaning.

Loneliness and solitude.

Fear of having the loved ones going away, of having the love in your hands to offer but don't know whom to offer that love.

Fear of losing control of one's life, being pushed around by outside forces. That would be some twists of fate, sudden change and lost that make you feel helpless and can't act against them.

I get so many fears in this group, it feels so heavy, I wish you peace and love. I don't know your age but the energy feels young, a young heart having to pass a mission from the early days, have to endure so much and carry a burden on the mind so that the a resilient spirit can be forged. Imagine a story about a young one going on a quest to gather lost treasures and making friends along the journey, there would be both loss and joy. I think that the treasures that the main character, you, seeks and need to bring back home is your inner child, the guiding light within you. By having that light back, even when you travel alone in the dark, you won't feel lost and powerless.

In the face of confusion and loss, keeping a light and tender heart, talking with friends, making something, cook your favourite dish would help you feel more connected with life. Keep your faith in the joy of life, there is always something worth living for.

If you feel that life is moving too slowly for you and crave some changes, think very hard about what you really need from that change, maybe you have been holding that treasure all along.

4. Citrine

I'm seeing a Torii gate of Japan (image below) with the sun rising behind.

Venus stone is standing in front of it, small and distant. I feel a certain fear concerning learning, self-worth and life enjoyment.

There is a gate being open in front of you but you are afraid to cross over, the light of the sun is calling you but you are hesitant.

Is there anything you long to say or to learn but couldn't find the right time or opportunity for it ? Something you enjoy learning but fear that it would take so much time and works, that it would take you away from your safe and familiar environment.

This is the hurdle that you need to pass. Always keep the inspiration steady, follow it and don't look around, you will find you self passed the gate already.

You may have a fear of facing changes, big one, both with relationship with people and in your career, people's perception of you would change if you make some big changes.

This is a call to focus on finding more about what you want to learn, what you are taking in to form your own life's philosophy, finding the "meaning of life". It needn't be something grand, the meaning lies in each step you take.

You may find yourself becoming more interested in spirituality, being fascinated by other cultures. There would be some hidden force at play here, nudging you toward the gate.

Take one step at a time, you may find help and abundance along the way, with so much opportunities to connect and trading thoughts with new people.

*The Torii gate*

5. Obsidian

A kite is flying. There is some kind of fear concerning relationships. Once a relationship has taken off, you fear that it will be scrutinized and judged by everyone around you, maybe you even fear that it goes against the moral code of your society.

There is a desire to be free of restrictive rule and the fear of being overshadowed by some authority figure deep within you.

I sense a lot of overbearing and harsh energy around you. Maybe they come from your teacher, some kind of mentor, someone you look up to, a feminine figure close to you or someone in the role of a nurturer but their nurturing style is quite dominant and smothering. They may mean well but their words are sharp and cold that could deal a heavy blow to your sense of self worth and shaking your confidence. Making you stay behind them under the name of protection.

The message for you would be about finding your voice, be the authoritative voice for yourself, step out of the shadow. Especially in relationships. Whether it is romantic or platonic, relationships with families and authority, be aware of any imbalance in the power dynamic at play. Be mindful of the role as "helper", who is serving whom, who is getting served.

Maybe you would develop some kind of obsessive routines or perfectionism in how to carry out your job to counter-balance the feeling of passivity and the lack of freedom.

Having control of your daily life to strengthen your sense of autonomy, from the small decisions such as what to eat, when to sleep to big decisions like how to do your job, what habit and routine to practice and adopt.

Love.

[steveezekiel]

THE INITIAL STAGE OF THE ASSIGNMENT

* You have to know God's Vision or plan for your life.

- It is not everyone who would be in the five fold Ministry (Ephesians 4:11). Some are to be in the help Ministries.

- And if you are into the Ministry of helps (1 Corinthians 12:28), such as: administrations, music ministry, children or youth ministry, women ministry, and whatever, you have to work towards it.

* Get to know about it, and know the nitty-gritty of such ministry.

- After you have gotten to know that you are assigned or called to such work or assignment, you would have to start something along that line.

- If your assignment is about the youths or the children, you can start by working in the youth or children department or ministry in the local church you attend.

- And, If yours is about music or singing ministry; you can also start by being part of the worship team or the choir, or choristers, in the local church of yours.

- With time, you might be led or inspired to gather some people who would work with you as a team.

* What are the basic things you would need to do before the commencement of the work—the ministry.

(i) You would need to fast and pray to clarify things and seek the face of God for how to go by the assignment.

(ii) The Vision or the plan which God has made known to you, would have to be shared with the people who would work with you in fulfilling the Vision—the Assignment (Nehemiah 2:17,18).

- This strictly should be with those whom you perceived to believe in the Vision. A number of such people would be those you had ministered to, those who had partaken in the Grace of God on your life and Ministry.

(iii) Be bold and courageous in whatever step you are taking, do not allow fear, and you should not allow the sense of inadequacy or unworthiness—whereby you see yourself unqualified or incompetent for the work (Joshua 1:6,7,9; 2 Timothy 1:7,8).

- God knows you and things He deposited in you, He knows you are able to do it, that is why He has assigned you to do it. God usually chooses the weak things to confound the wise:

26 FOR you see your CALLING, BRETHREN, THAT NOT MANY WISE ACCORDING TO THE FLESH, Not many MIGHTY, Not many NOBLE, are CALLED. 27 BUT GOD HAS CHOSEN THE FOOLISH THINGS of the WORLD to put to SHAME the WISE, And God has chosen the WEAK THINGS OF THE WORLD TO PUT TO SHAME THE THINGS WHICH ARE MIGHTY; 28 And THE BASE THINGS of the WORLD and the THINGS which are DESPISED GOD HAS CHOSEN, AND the THINGS which ARE NOT, TO bring to NOTHING THE THINGS THAT ARE, 29 THAT NO FLESH SHOULD GLORY IN His PRESENCE" (1 Corinthians 1:26-29 NKJV).

- If you allowed any sense of inadequacy, It would limit your potential, what God has deposited in you, and you would not be able to produce maximally (2 Timothy 1:7,8).

- It might seem that there are some other people who are more competent and qualified than you do, around you, but God chose you anyway. Do not allow the presence of such people to intimidate you: "DON'T LET ANYONE THINK LITTLE OF YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG. Be their ideal; let them follow the way you teach and live; BE A PATTERN FOR THEM IN YOUR LOVE, YOUR FAITH, AND YOUR CLEAN THOUGHTS" (1 Timothy 4:12 the Living Bible).

- God does not look like Man looks. Humans look at the outward appearance, whilst God looks at the Heart (1 Samuel 16:6,7).

- Those whom you think are more qualified and competent than you do, might not be, in the sight of God; they may not have the right Heart, or the kind of Heart required for the assignment at hand:

6 WHEN they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, “Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!” 7 BUT THE LORD SAID TO SAMUEL, “DON'T JUDGE BY HIS APPEARANCE or HEIGHT, FOR I have rejected HIM. THE LORD DOESN'T SEE THINGS THE WAY YOU SEE THEM. PEOPLE JUDGE BY OUTWARD APPEARANCE, BUT THE LORD LOOKS AT THE HEART"" (1 Samuel 16:6,7 NLT).

(iv) Do not listen to those who might be despising you and what you are about to do (Nehemiah 4:1,2).

- Sanballat and Tobias wanted to frustrate Nehemiah, they were taunting and making mockery of what they were doing, but Nehemiah did not allow that to stop him—he was undeterred and remained focus (Nehemiah 4:1-3).

(v) Do not give place or room to distractions. Such might come through the naysayers, obstructionists and the thwarter or resisters; those who would not want the success of what you are asked to do.

- The truth is, such people would always surface when an assignment commanded or instructed by God is to be embarked on. It is not New, neither is it peculiar to you. Leave them and be focused on what you are doing, they would soon change their minds and come to celebrate you.

(vi) One of the initial challenges that you might be confronted with is, lack of faithful and committed people to work with you.

- Money might also be a big challenge. A Vision without a provision would suffocate.

(vii) Your focus should not be about what you would get or gain. Rewards would come, If you are faithful in the assignment.

- You main focus should be service. How the people brought your way would be blessed by God. If your faithfulness and commitment is seen by God, He would surely reward you. God is not a User, but a Rewarder (Hebrews 11:6).

(viii) Be consistent in the face of the adversities. When challenges and oppositions arose, keep at it, keep doing the work, do not quit.

(ix) Cultivate the habit of thanking God for the trickle results you are getting.

- The glory of every success, or accomplishment, should be given to God the Father.

- This is very important, and it is one of the things that would make you last long in the assignment.

* You will not fail in Jesus' name.

- Whatever is contrary to your health is rebuked and uprooted in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

- Hold of sickness is completely broken in Jesus' name. And Afflictions will not rise again in Jesus' name.

Peace!

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

Just about every conversation featuring legal experts in the media talking about Donald Trump's conduct includes the line: "If he were anyone else, he'd already be in jail." That tells you that Trump continues to receive special treatment. I don’t know about you, but I’m thoroughly disgusted with this special treatment for a man who attempted a coup, incited the Jan 6 attack, is charged with 88 felonies for a range of crimes including violating the Espionage Act and who is now attacking the family of the New York judge handling his criminal case there. It’s long, long past time this ends. And the way to do that is for the New York judge presiding over his election fraud case--where Trump faces 34 felonies--to order him held in custody for contempt until his April 15 trial begins.

Last week, the judge handling this case, Juan Merchan, imposed a gag order that prohibited Trump from attacking witnesses, prosecutors, jurors and court staff--as well as their relatives. In response, Trump repeatedly attacked the Judge’s daughter by name as being biased for working for organizations tied to Democrats. Trump even posted a news article to his Truth Social platform that displayed two pictures of Ms. Merchan. In addition, Trump continued to repeat a lie that the judge’s wife had posted a photo online of Trump in prison. In reality, the social media account at issue—as Trump has been told in the past--had no connection to Merchan’s wife.

Those posts by Trump, while violating the spirit of the gag order, did not violate the express language because that prior order did not cover the family of the judge. But before we address the law, please understand that that there’s only one reason Trump is targeting the judge’s family: To incite threats and potentially violence against them by Trump supporters. Trump is attempting to intimidate the judge by saying if you rule against me on key issues, we know who your family is. It’s the same message Trump wants to send to potential witnesses and jurors in the case, namely, we may not be able to get to you, but we will come after your family. Former FBI Assistant Director Frank Figliuzzi explained on my SiriusXM show Monday that Trump is using mob tactics to intimidate witnesses and others by inciting threats against their family.   Figliuzzi even shared that in one case he handled, a family member of a witness was killed.  

[...]

Getting back to this case, the Manhattan DA—in their pleading to expand the original gag order to protect Judge Marchan’s family—correctly noted, “There is no constitutional right to target the family of this Court.” The prosecutor then continued with a very accurate statement: “Defendant knows what he is doing, and everyone else does too.”

The DA is correct. We all know what Trump is doing: He is trying to intimidate the judge, witnesses, prosecutors and prospective witnesses.  That is exactly what Bragg’s team explained, writing: “We all know exactly what defendant intends because he has said for decades that it is part of his life philosophy to go after his perceived opponents ‘as viciously and as violently’ as he can.” The prosecutors added that Trump, “promised very recently that “IF YOU GO AFTER ME, I’M COMING AFTER YOU!’ He is carrying out that promise right now.” That led to Judge Marchan’s ruling Monday night expanding the original gag order to protect his own family from Trump. (Take that in for a moment.) The Judge wrote in his opinion that Trump’s  “pattern of attacking family members of presiding jurists and attorneys assigned to his cases serves no legitimate purpose.”  Rather, “It merely injects fear in those assigned or called to patriciate in the proceedings, that not only they, but their family members as well, are "fair game" for Defendant's vitriol.”

The judge then warned, “The average observer, must now, after hearing defendant’s recent attacks, draw the conclusion that if they become involved in these proceedings, even tangentially, they should worry not only for themselves, but for their loved ones as well.”  He added, “Such concerns will undoubtedly interfere with the fair administration of justice and constitutes a direct attack on the Rule of Law itself.” The judge later emphasized this very point, writing, “Again, all citizens, called upon to participate in these proceedings, whether as a juror, a witness, or in some other capacity, must now concern themselves not only with their own personal safety, but with the safety and the potential for personal attacks upon their loved ones.” The judge added, “That reality cannot be overstated.”

Dean Obeidallah is right. Donald Trump continues to get special treatment for committing crimes that would have seen a commoner be thrown in prison a long time ago. Trump should be in jail until at least his trial for repeatedly breaking gag orders.

From the 04.01.2024 edition of SiriusXM Progress's The Dean Obeidallah Show:

[autolovecraft]

You kicked hard, for Asaph's coffin was on the floor.

There was nothing like a ladder in the tomb. As his hammer blows began to fall, the horse outside whinnied in a tone which may have been encouraging and to others may have been fear mixed with a queer belated sort of remorse for bygone crudities. When he perceived that the latch was hopelessly unyielding, at least to such meager tools and under such tenebrous conditions as these, Birch glanced about for other possible points of escape. There was nothing like a ladder in the tomb. The thing must have happened at about three-thirty in the afternoon. In this twilight too, he began to compute how he might most stably use the eight to rear a scalable platform four deep. It must have been midnight at least when Birch decided he could get through the transom, and in the crawl which followed his jarring thud on the damp ground. I've seen sights before, but there was one thing too much here. He had, it seems, planned in vain when choosing the stoutest coffin for the right grave.

Only the coffins themselves remained as potential stepping-stones, and as he considered these he speculated on the best mode of transporting them. The wounds—for both ankles were frightfully lacerated about the Achilles' tendons—seemed to puzzle the old physician greatly, and finally almost to frighten him. Being without superstition, he did not care to imagine. Neither did his old physician Dr. Davis, who died years ago. Undisturbed by oppressive reflections on the time, the place, and the latch of the great door yielded readily to a touch from the outside. What else, he added, could ever in any case be proved or believed? His drinking, of course, only aggravated what it was meant to alleviate.

In this twilight too, he began to realize the truth and to shout loudly as if his horse outside could do more than neigh an unsympathetic reply. Dusk fell and found Birch still toiling. As he planned, he could not but wish that the units of his contemplated staircase had been more securely made. He had not forgotten the criticism aroused when Hannah Bixby's relatives, wishing to transport her body to the cemetery in the city whither they had moved, found the casket of Judge Capwell beneath her headstone. To him Birch had felt no compunction in assigning the carelessly made coffin which he now pushed out of the enlarged transom; but he could do better with four. He changed his business, but something always preyed upon him. I've seen sights before, but there was one thing too much here. Another might not have relished the damp, odorous chamber with the eight carelessly placed coffins; but Birch in those days was insensitive, and professionally undesirable; yet I still think he was not an evil man. The light was dim, but Birch's sight was good, and he did not heed the day at all; though ever afterward he refused to do anything of importance on that fateful sixth day of the week. When he perceived that the latch was hopelessly unyielding, at least to such meager tools and under such tenebrous conditions as these, Birch glanced about for other possible points of escape. Only the coffins themselves remained as potential stepping-stones, and as he considered these he speculated on the best mode of transporting them.

His drinking, of course, only aggravated what it was meant to alleviate. At last the spring thaw came, and graves were laboriously prepared for the nine silent harvests of the grim reaper which waited in the tomb, and the latch of the great door yielded readily to a touch from the outside. His questioning grew more than medically tense, and his hands shook as he dressed the mangled members; binding them as if he wished to get the wounds out of sight as quickly as possible. I'll never get the picture out of my head as long as I live. He confided in me because I was his doctor, and because he probably felt the need of confiding in someone else after Davis died. Fortunately the village was small and the death rate low, so that it was possible to give all of Birch's inanimate charges a temporary haven in the single antiquated receiving tomb. Birch was glad to get to shelter as he unlocked the iron door and entered the side-hill vault. His drinking, of course, only aggravated what it was meant to alleviate. Birch to insist at all times that his wounds were caused entirely by loose nails and splintering wood. Birch cautiously ascended with his tools and stood abreast of the narrow transom. Just where to begin Birch's story I can hardly decide, since I am no practiced teller of tales. His head was broken in, and everything was tumbled about. Better still, though, he would utilize only two boxes of the base to support the superstructure, leaving one free to be piled on top in case the actual feat of escape required an even greater altitude.

Being without superstition, he did not care to imagine. You know what a fiend he was for revenge—how he ruined old Raymond thirty years after their boundary suit, and how he had distinguished it from the inferior duplicate coffin of vicious Asaph Sawyer. The pile of tools soon reached, and a hammer and chisel selected, Birch returned over the coffins to the door. Whether he had imagination enough to wish they were empty, is strongly to be doubted. In the semi-gloom he trusted mostly to touch to select the right one, and indeed came upon it almost by accident, since it tumbled into his hands as if through some odd volition after he had unwittingly placed it beside another on the third layer. Instinct guided him in his wriggle through the transom. Horrible pains, as of savage wounds, shot through his calves; and in his mind was a vortex of fright mixed with an unquenchable materialism that suggested splinters, loose nails, or some other attribute of a breaking wooden box. Instinct guided him in his wriggle through the transom. Armington helped Birch to the outside of a spare bed and sent his little son Edwin for Dr. Davis. Three coffin-heights, he reckoned, would permit him to reach the transom; but he could do better with four.