#because people like being queerphobic to ‘acceptable targets’

[incorrectmahabharatquotes]

Been here for years, honestly this is one of my favourite desi blogs. I hate how tumblr is turning into insta-- sure you have opinions that some people don't agree to. But I don't think your interepreation of classics can be credited as blasphemy (which is an abrahamic concept if these uneducated bigots dont get it.)

Honey i am so sorry people are targeting you like this. people forget how our scriptures have actually mentioned queer instances.

some of you STILL aren't able to comprehend the fact that the south asian subcontinent has been invaded since 500CE by mughal and western colonizers with abrahamic ideologies. it has wiped the normalcy, acceptance and appreciation of same-sex relations, gender fluidity, trans identity which is indigeneous to the land, since at a recorded date of 4000BCE, as observed in dharmic culture.

Maybe if these 10th fails would actually draw the philosphical and altruistic teachings of our scriptures and just read them as 'holy books' without seeing any interpretation like the abrahamic religions do...you are no better than them.

Hare krishna.

YOU KNOW WHAT? These past few days have actually made me miss the days when the biggest problem that the hate anons had with us were that our interpretations of a literary epic were different from theirs. Those were the simpler days when people were just being queerphobic at us.

Now we're getting booed by a certain crowd because we said religious nationalism is a bad political direction for India's present and future.

I appreciate your love and support for us. 💕

Just a tiny thing, is if you wouldn't call them "10th fails", that would be good. I know you didn't mean it that way but academic success has no bearing on intellectual capacity and capability and I'm just a little weirded out by that sort of expression.

-Mod S

[asexual-spongebob]

Above & Beyond Rewrite/ Reimagining. (Because I am silly.)

So um. I got an idea to make a A&B rewrite/ reimagining because, while I love it very much, I feel like there’s some things about it that could be better. So, I decided to take it into my own paws.

Note: This is just based off my personal interpretation of these characters. You do not have to like them nor agree with them, but please don’t throw a hissy fit because my characterization/interpretation doesn’t line up with yours.

What would it entail?:

It is a targeted at an older audience, like the older kids or teens who grew up with the show.

Barnacles is still a main character. He goes on missions more.

Dashi still has a lot of focus though.

It would talk about both marine and land creatures.

It has the classic and iconic Creature Report.

The Octo Agents are still thing, same with Octo-Watches. Bianca is a Octo Agent, and Orson and Ursa are Junior Octo Agents.

There’s shellso, twashi and pearlanca here. (I’m sorry.) with a side of queer platonic Minkling. And also Kwazini.

For Kwazii and Paani, I’m thinking that their dynamic is more like enemies to lovers, (instead rivals to lovers, which is how i see them in show) like they really dislike each other, but as time goes on, they begin to they that they’re more similar then they think.

Like, they both had pretty fucked up childhood’s for example. And I want to especially nail in the fact that Paani’s childhood was really fucked up and thats the reason why he thinks that so many things are normal, when in actuality, they aren’t. I also want explore things like internalized queerphobia and internalized ableism, especially with Paani.

Paani is still mysterious here, but to an even broader degree. However as time goes on, the audience finds out more things about them, like his childhood, and how the way they were raised negatively affected them. (Ex: The reason she had internalized queerphobia for the longest time is because of how her father said queerphobic things, (ex: claiming that queer people were “confused”). However, a few years before Paani became a Octonaut, she started to realize that a lot of the things she was taught as a child were incorrect. He realized that he was queer, that he was demisexual and demiromantic, that he was genderfluid and transfem. And got diagnosed with ADHD. At first, he was very ashamed of it, but he learned to accept himself, and that, they had nothing to be ashamed of.

Oh and did I mention? Paani becomes a full on Octonaut, and has their own pod here. It’s a very nice little room, with light green walls, fake plants and fairy lights, band posters and other things they like on the walls, a little a shelf with her knick knacks and her dvd and cd collection.

10. Paani is alt here, however he typically wears his work uniform when on missions, but at home, you’ll often find him wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a bright green and black checkered belt, heavy, thick eyeliner and Invader Zim merchandise.

11. Kwazii and Paani begin to realize that they’re more similar then they think after they get stranded on a an Island. At first, Paani is pissed at Kwazii, the two insult each other before they realize that they don’t really have a choice but to work together, not matter how much they don’t want to. Kwazii almost gets eaten by a shark, Paani saves him. Kwazii questions why Paani saved them, and Paani replies with “Because that’s what Octonauts do.” They start to bond and learn more about each other and realize that, they’re actually pretty similar.

(Inspired by the Jimmy Neutron episode, “Stranded”. )

12. After Kwazii and Paani get found after being stranded, they start being nicer to each other. And Kwazii starts to catch feelings and freaks out. he’s like “WHY DO I LOVE THIS BITCH WTF?!” Oh and Paani realizes that they also like Kwazii. The two bottle up how they feel until one day Paani can not take it anymore, and tells Kwazii how he feels. Kwazii says that he feels the same way. And then they have a lovey dovey kiss scene and Peso and Shellington nearly faint out of shock.

13. Barnacles is glad that everything regarding Kwazii and Paani worked out just fine.

14. The childhood’s of the other Octonauts are going to be explored here as well, the audience doesn’t know much regarding their childhood’s either, so they’ll learn more about them as well. Featuring by personal interpretations.

I’ll probably be making backstory posts for everyone, as soon as I finish coming up with them.

I’ll probably think of more later regarding the other octo agents and og Octonauts, I want to explore them as characters as well.

here’s this little ref I made for Paani, I kept his design mostly the same, but added some bangs and made his coat longer.

[just-antithings]

So why do some queer content creators disagree with xenogenders? Isn’t it another term for non-binary?

tw discussion of white supremacy

Short answer 1: they're exclus

Short answer 2: they're assimilationist queers who think if we can make ourselves palatable enough to The CisHets(tm), they'll be accepting. (I cannot stress enough that these people are wrong. The CisHets(tm) want zero queer people to exist, not just "the queer people they can stomach")

Long answer: a fuckton of western queer people hold bigoted internal beliefs because of being raised at the whims of white supremacy. They have not been made to challenge their internal biases and the moment these biases are challenged, in white cis queers especially, they react negatively to the Thing Making Them Uncomfortable to make the icky feeling its giving them go away.

Because that's like, the thing, right, with bigots and ableists and racists and queerphobes and antis and radfems and terfs and exclus: their solution to being made uncomfortable by something is to try and make that thing not exist, so they don't have to feel like that. After all, they can't be subjected to gross icky feelings if there's nothing around to prompt the icky feeling. It's why some bigots say they don't care "as long as they don't have to see".

Now, obviously, the healthy way of dealing with something prompting a bad feeling inside you is to. Work through that feeling. It's entirely unreasonable to demand something or someone not exist because the existence itself or just seeing that it exists makes you uncomfortable.

But that's how these people deal with it, because under white supremacy you are taught things are always someone else's problem. I'm not fucking joking - we are taught that. It's why people who have never had their worldview or authority challenged (cishet white men) deal so spectacularly badly with suddenly encountering those things. White supremacy thrives on everything being the fault of "some other guy" - the marginalized group of choice changes based on the situation and circumstances. (Which is, to be clear, super fucked up and not something I'm making light of.)

People hate on xenogenders because they're ignorant about what xenogenders are (gender related to concept of thing other than male/female ie catgender is experiencing ur gender in a cat-like way, your gender being Cat, etc & can get highly specific) and instead of trying to get educated center themselves, their own experiences with more traditional genders and gender roles, and their misguided fears that being "too queer" will make The Cishets(tm) not accept us. (They're not gonna accept us til we make them.)

Also while supremacy teaches us its okay to put aside our morals and ethics if there is an acceptable target (applies to more traditional bigotry too like racism yes. Good church going people who would never dream of saying something like that to a "normal" person because their "morals" forbid it but morals are a hat you can take off sometimes, see?). The modern internet is New Rome and everyone participates in the blood sport at the coliseum.

And no, they're not just the same thing as nonbinary.

[spacelazarwolf]

at the risk of sounding gatekeepy/transmed-y (which i assure i’m not, and it’s not my intention to be), as a queer older-teen who has been out in some capacity since i was about 10 years old, it can be… really really frustrating that almost all of the queer people that i’ve met at my school (and lots that i’ve met online, too) are people who 1 realized they were queer during the pandemic full stop, but also 2 realized they were queer during the pandemic and have only ever been out in a relatively sheltered, accepting environment (and i find the latter is extremely common).

and while i’m very glad and all that being queer is safer for lots of young people nowadays, it can feel very alienating when it’s so obvious that these other baby queers, though we are the same age, have so much less experience engaging with queerness itself in a thoughtful way & engaging with other queer people in a thoughtful way. they’re very flippant with their use of slurs despite having never been called them, they ask others about their sexuality/gender without thinking how that might be extremely anxiety inducing and invasive and uncomfortable for closeted people—even in a “safe space.” like, i still feel sick and anxious when i hear queer topics being talked about casually irl! sure, i’m recovering, slowly, but the violence i faced for being queer is still traumatizing- it doesn’t matter how safe the space is! and they just can’t comprehend that.

idk. while i’m happy that some people live in more accepting places than i did, it’s just so fucking frustrating that i can’t connect with anyone i know irl (with the exception of like… one person lol) over the collective trauma of growing up openly or closet-ly queer in a shitty middle school, because it isn’t something that’s commonly shared anymore, i guess. it’s getting harder and harder for me to find queer people in my age group who have actually been the target of queerphobic violence, whether that’s physical or emotional. and i can’t help but resent them for it.

anyway. this turned into a rant oops but i initially was sending this ask in response to the conversation about gen Z queers who are really into slurcourse and identity discourse and such, and like. i fully believe a big reason behind that is because since they don’t have real life experiences of oppression to look back on, it’s harder for them to see the bigger picture of queerphobia and how fucking dumb identity discourse is, because they’ve never directly experienced oppression that Actually Matters. like i think once you’ve been assaulted for being queer, you realize that discourse does not fucking matter. it’s a maturity and experience gap i think, regardless of age. so that’s my 2 cents as a gen Zer queer who grew up in the shitty midwest lol

yeah a lot of the people who are really into specifically online discourse like slur discourse and identity discourse usually haven't had much to deal with in their real lives. which like. i'm glad bc maybe that means shit's getting better even though it's scary now. but it's also frustrating as someone who has experienced a lot of irl discrimination.

[aces-to-apples]

I got this while on vacation with some family and ngl I immediately forgot about it and only remembered when scrolling through my screenshots for something else. Anyway I'm a whole-ass trans queer, fuck Joanne and associated fascists, but there's actually no "still" about that slytherin because I literally only have it as bait for obnoxious fuckers like this. Not giving money to the violently queerphobic antisemite is praxis but being an insufferable prick about anyone who still manages to wring something meaningful out of art isn't. People may notice my blog is very into Star Wars, created by a shitty racist dude who was very into racial caricatures and cultural appropriation, and Red vs. Blue, created by a company that called one of their queer employees Faggot as a "nickname" for, like, years. If some people wanna complete disavow and wash their hands of the whole damn thing then that's cool and normal, but I'm personally not bothered by anyone who has lingering fondness for it or still gets something from participating in fandom spaces. I'll block people who give that bitch money and attention, mind, but this message is nothing but virtue-signalling and hoping to find an easy and acceptable target for further harassment. And also is probably new here lol.

[motherofmonstersao3]

First time making a political post, but I watched a creator who was newly recommended to me as "a good queer creator" after the whole, well...gestures broadly towards the recent plagiarism video...and I was lowkey kinda white-knuckling halfway through, and I'm just like...

Maybe this is just me, but this gatekeeping of blackness stuff just...this is just repackaged biphobia. This is unironically the same line of logic. The circumstances are different to an extent, and maybe it's even a pretty big extent! I know that there are people who think bi folk are straight-passing, and thus not in the line of fire to the same extent that others in the queer community are, and maybe there really are biracial/mixed race people who will try and claim some white privilege.

But the thing is, as a mixed-race person who was overtly separated from her own blackness or partaking in her own form of black identity (judged 'too white' in manner and speech, you know the drill), when it comes to white privilege, we have it until we don't. This is going to come out far more garbled than I had it in my head, but the problem with eschewing the 'one drop' rule as a means of solidarity and activism against racism and racial discrimination is that...we might eschew it, but the powers that be that wish us harm, that seek to keep the underclass 'in their place,' will do no such thing.

This is part of why I call this repackaged biphobia (again, slightly off the cuff here, so bear with me), because the counter to 'straight-passing' and 'white-passing' is about the same. Sure, we might slip under the radar every now and again, but by and large, when harm is brought against us, that one drop paints the target on our backs whether we want it there or not, similar to how a queerphobe of any denomination might see two girls out together and not care if one of them protests that they're bi. Within the context in which harm is perpetrated, it's a meaningless distinction. We all fit in the same grave. They lynched 'yellow n*ggers' just as surely as the dark-skinned.

If indeed there is a problem with white-passing biracial people distancing themselves from the black community, not showing up when it means something, the solution is not to ossify the division by gatekeeping, but to build all the bridges we can, because in every meaningful sense, we are absolutely in this together. Otherwise, we are accepting the wedge that is being driven between us, and making ourselves easier pickings.

It's genuinely shocking to me that I can be so estranged from any sense of black identity (and even then, the entire maternal side of my family abounds with their own experiences, and I've even gone to see the plantation where my family history begins because a cousin of mine went to the effort to track it down, which affects me in ways that sometimes genuinely take me off-guard) and yet still manage to see just how fragile any white privilege I might erroneously seek to claim, or that might benefit me in the moment, truly is, while that same fragility seems to be lost on others. And sure, maybe that doesn't mean anything to you if you've never been able to claim even that much. And that's a grounded perspective to have. But it's not one that's helpful or productive to act upon.

(Not to mention, the white side of my own family is Irish, and 'n*gger' and 'white n*gger' isn't exactly a winning combo)

[mbrainspaz]

I'm actually so glad I couldn't go meet my grandparents for margaritas on my birthday. Finally made it out there a while later and gran spent half the dinner trying to interrogate me like I'd come out as a freaking X-man. She kept pointing to herself and gramps (who definitely wanted to be anywhere else) and saying "look I just don't see how all of you [the queers: my bi cousin, my gay uncle, & me, the enby] came from us when we're so straight and normal. IS IT... GENETICS? IS IT... CULTURE???"

I'm like "no gran it's not a cultural contagion. I'm the same way I've always been. I just have a new label for it now. Do you remember fairies?"

Her eyes lit up and she said she did. She said that was what they called gay men back in the 40's. Gramps said he didn't remember anything of the sort and I reminded him that he grew up in the country and he was like 'yeah I did 😎.' I explained how 'fairies' were essentially a third gender at the time, kind of similar to non-binary people today. She nodded along. It's a stretch but bear with me. I ended up going on this whole lecture about gender diversity through the ages from ancient Scythia to the founding fathers and changing labels and the way the CIA targeted homosexuals bc of the red scare in the 50's and manufactured the queerphobic hysteria we're still dealing with today. I got to explain gender as a spectrum and how I fall in the middle. Gran tried to sidetrack with nonsense about how my mom will always see me as a 'girl' and I just need to accept that she can't accept me and love her anyway. Barf. I said I'd rather have my peace than deal with that. Anyway, honestly I doubt any of it will make a difference.

My grandparents aren't religious fundamentalists like my parents. It's easier to talk to them because at least they don't accuse me of being demon possessed. I do get the feeling gran was kind of bummed I couldn't just pinpoint the X mutant gene for her.

[coochiequeens]

Violence and threats of violence are wrong  but have the drag queens just considered not performing for kids anymore?

Guelph-based drag queen Crystal Quartz had just finished an all-ages drag brunch performance on October 30 when a friend reached out with news that made her stomach drop: a social-media group targeting drag queens for harassment had posted a menacing rallying call to attend Quartz’s next show and “give them a show they’ll never forget.”

Over the past six months, Quartz has witnessed an uptick in harassment and threats against drag queens in Canada and the United States, often from groups espousing the queerphobic conspiracy theory that the performers are grooming children. But it was the first time she’d been in their crosshairs in her own community. 

Just four weeks earlier, she had told a reporter how safe she felt doing drag in the area. “That all changed,” she says. “I don’t feel safe. At my shows, I’m checking for people when they come in the doors, if there’s something in their pockets.” 

Especially in the wake of the mass shooting at a queer bar in Colorado, the targeting has made going to work as a drag performer a tense, frightening thing. “I don’t feel like I should have to be looking at where the exits are and how to get out of a place just to simply do my job,” says Quartz.

Quartz, who posted a TikTok on November 24 to draw attention to the surge in harassment of drag queens, is just one of the many drag performers in Ontario facing harassment from hate groups. On November 25, a group of roughly 20 anti-LGBTQ+ protestors gathered outside a Hamilton public library branch to disrupt Hexe Noire, a local drag performer, reading to a group of over 100 children and parents. Noire tells TVO.org that after the event, she received a wave of hateful messages.

“I’ve been told this week that I’m a member of a cult just trying to groom children, death threats, the whole thing,” says Noire, a cisgender woman who dresses as a drag clown for children. “There's definitely a disconnect from reality.”

This month’s protests against drag performers are part of a continuing trend of hate and violence directed toward LGBTQ+ communities. It’s in part attributable to a far-right conspiracy theory that drag queens and the queer community in general are sexually abusing and grooming children. The theory has been mainstreamed by right-wing pundits, politicians, and high-profile social-media accounts. In the wake of the Colorado shooting, some even justified the shooting and blamed the club for hosting “grooming” events.

President Joe Biden issued a warning earlier this year about the rise in violence against LGBTQ+ people and the spike in anti-LGBTQ+ hate, which is also evident across Canada. During Pride Month this year, public-library branches in Pembroke, Orillia, Pickering, and Whitby reported to Xtra Magazine that they had faced harassment for hosting family-friendly drag events.

Harassment has forced venues to cancel Quartz’s shows, resulting in loss of pay for her. While regional police have recently indicated that they will investigate the harassment, Quartz is frustrated at the slow or ineffective responses from local police forces across Ontario. “I feel like I should have the same safety and security as anyone else,” she says. “I’m just going to my job, too.”

It’s not just threats from the outside. Quartz says that some harassers have suggested buying tickets to drag shows to disrupt them from the inside, which makes it difficult to ensure a safe, welcoming environment for attendees. “Now I’m worried about the people that are there,” says Quartz. “I’m starting to lose my fans because they don’t feel safe.”

Quartz says that, for years, queer people have been “shut up” and hidden in public spaces. “We’re just finally being ourselves now, and people are noticing us,” she says. “We’re not trying to make people queer. We’re just making it so people can feel accepted for whatever they are.”

Anti-LGBTQ+ groups claim that drag shows are inappropriate for children, but Quartz says the idea that all drag performances are unsuitable for children is ridiculous. “It’s just like movies: there are certain movies that you don’t show your kids, but you don’t ban all movies,” she says. “My shows have a loving, fun feel. I do Disney numbers. It’s not this sexualized thing.”

Noire and Quartz say that they need allies and community members to show up to support local drag artists in face of this sort of harassment. Noire notes that all-ages drag events at libraries are especially important to protect.

“It’s important that LGBTQ+ families are able to come together and experience diverse stories together,” says Noire. “As a child, had I been exposed to other children that were like me and different, I would have flourished. So we have to stand together as a community and let them know that love wins, that hate is not going to stop us.”

By Luke Ottenhof Luke Ottenhof is a Toronto-based freelance journalist

[shadowfae]

Not trying to be rude, I am just a little confused. “People were already afraid of sharks when Jaws came out. It amplified that fear and fed back into reality.” So why would fiction romanticizing pedophilia not amplify and feed back into reality? Also, have you read Lolita? Again, I just need clarification because I’m trying to genuinely learn the arguments so I can find where I stand

I have. And it was a horror story with an unreliable narrator. That was also how it was intended, and I’m a little surprised not everyone got that. You know what it did? Take pedophilia from something never talked about and taboo and brought it into the international limelight to be studied and talked about, because suddenly pedophiles could be well-liked priests and good people everyone likes, not just always some scummy guy in an alleyway. It was monumental to help victims, because suddenly they could be believed. No big “oh okay pedophiles and giving children horrific trauma is okay now this book I read said so :)” happened whatsoever.

As for why Jaws did what fanfiction doesn’t: people already were afraid of sharks, and my fics that don’t top two hundred views and ten kudos aren’t being seen in theatres worldwide, and seriously dude how many people do you think are secretly okay with pedophilia in real life???

If fanfiction was going to normalize anything, Game of Thrones would have normalized it. And if you won’t go after GRRM, don’t go after some queer writer who doesn’t get paid to deal with your shit. GoT has incest and rape and pedophilia up the wazoo, and none of it’s tagged, and yet somehow people aren’t falling over themselves thinking dragons are real and it’s okay to fuck your sister.

Almost like fiction isn’t likely to change your mind unless you were already open to it, and it’s far more likely to validate what you already know, and if you’re reading fanfiction looking for a moral to the story... there is something wrong with you, dude, and I the writer am not obligated nor going to help you work through that. Maybe try an English class for third graders that makes you do basic literary analysis. And that probably sounds harsh, but it has to be. I do more work than fucking Game of Thrones to ensure people don’t get hurt if they want to read my fic, and I get called one of the worst things to ever fucking accuse someone of in return. You know if you call someone a pedophile in real life, they usually lose their job? You know that sort of accusation ruins people’s lives? You remember that? You haven’t forgotten it and reduced the meaning of a horrific child predator and abuser to someone you don’t like on the internet?

I do nothing the average YA author doesn’t do. I am going nowhere that hasn’t been gone before by people far more mainstream. And nobody has a problem with them, so if you’re gonna have an issue just with me and not them because I write fanfiction... Your misogyny and queerphobia is showing. Misogyny, because what is fanfiction if not women’s writing (and I acknowledge that as a man); and queerphobia, because this argument LITERALLY ONLY HAPPENS against queer writers. You’d forgive whatever show by and involving white men of all their sins, of course they can’t be better, but shred every queer thing to bits if it isn’t perfect. Dream Daddy, Thomas Sanders, Steven Universe, you fucking name it - it’s all Problematic and Secretly Pedophilia and Secretly Fascist Propoganda because it’s queer and not picture perfect with a moral for babies.

I’m not mad at you personally, anon, but there’s no other way to demonstrate how fucking asinine this entire thing is. If someone’s looking through my fic for a moral of the story that can be applied to real life: get lost and go read a book for five year olds. I’m not writing for you.

[daggersandarrows]

today i am thinking about that particular draw to love villains, to empathize with villains, to decode and decipher and understand villains, to first excuse and then to endorse them--not in a literal way but in the way of someone who has grown up too kind to a world that does not care how cruel it is, and i am thinking about it specifically in a queer way.

it’s been a meme for at least a decade now that tumblr, teenage girls, (people other people don’t take seriously), latch onto The Absolute Worst character, THE villain and fall in love with them. loki, bill cipher, alastor, kylo ren, the onceler, the usual “cringe” tumblr sexymen. they plop flower crowns on them, write cutesty x reader imagines, make insane amvs, moodboards, and otherwise edit and snip away at the entire villainy of them and make them into something entirely other. someone who would protect you and befriend you--someone you could picture sitting next to you on the subway reading a book with one earbud in.

i think when you’re a child, especially a queer child, who has not yet learned the rules, the urge to ask “why” is still so prevalent that it’s almost impossible not to. you hit the beginnings of the “age of reason”, gain an understanding of good versus bad, and after that settles in, the why comes forth. why is this bad. why is this not. and for those of us growing up in abusive households, queerphobic households, or even simply ignorant households, i don’t think the answers ever came. there are things we did and felt and thought and said that were “bad” or “wrong” and when we asked “why?” the answer was “because i said so”.

i think eventually you start to wonder what makes it wrong. i think eventually, at least subconsciously, you stop accepting that bad guys are just bad guys and you start to ask yourself why people do bad, or “bad” things.

maybe they’re bad like me. maybe they didn’t mean to do that bad thing and it was all a misunderstanding like when i knocked the table over and was bad for ruining dinner “on purpose” no matter how many times i said it was an accident.

maybe they’re bad like me. maybe someone took their toy and they let them and the toy got broken and they had to bite their lip and not cry about it and it happened again and again and again and the third time they hit, and then they were the bad one.

maybe they’re bad like me. maybe they said they wanted to kiss a boy and it all went downhill from there.

maybe if i could just talk to them, if i could explain, maybe if they knew we were both bad, then everything would be a little less bad.

i think after that we start to grow up a little and understand power fantasies and helpless anger at franchises and systemic oppression and capitalism and the state of the world in general--maybe they’re bad like me. maybe i don’t know what i would do if someone handed me a weapon and the power to eliminate my problems the easy way. maybe i am tired of being nice and accomodating and polite and kind in a world in which that has meant i am a target for violence.

maybe we would understand each other.

[dinocanid]

Hey, as a person diagnosed with DID I just wanted to ask a question. Do you think its possible for endogenic systems to coexist with people who feel like their experiences are being taken away from them? I know that there are probably people who really experience it, but I'm just so scared that people are doing it to be cool and just separating their personality traits willingly and I don't know how to get over that fear. I want to understand endogenic systems but I'm scared of my own voice as a person with DID being drowned out and not taken seriously. I'm sorry if this question doesn't make sense, I just really wanted the perspective from an endogenic system because I really want to be able to understand and accept and not have contempt but its hard.

To give an honest answer, the constant intra-community hostility towards endogenic systems and constant fear of which systems are "faking" has done nothing but make the plural community as a whole practically uninhabitable. Endogenic systems don't take away from the experiences of anyone by existing, and there are endogenic systems with DID or OSDD. (And treating them as mutually exclusive has done community damage as well)

It's like how in the LGBT+ community, some people are hostile towards nonbinary people and xenogenders because "it makes them look less serious". In reality, the infighting helps nobody and is redirecting blame away from the actual problem: queerphobes.

To connect this back to plurality: people that already don't really believe in plurality aren't going to suddenly start believing by leaving a good chunk of the community in the dust. It causes inter-community conflict (see: fakeclaiming, gaslighting, death threats/sui-baiting, etc. towards endogenic systems from traumagenic systems), and makes things even harder for systems currently the target of such hostility because others are trying to say they don't exist at every turn. I had a fair share of this in my earlier years, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

In order to make the community better for everyone in the long-run, the constant hunt for "fakers" needs to stop. It's done nothing but hurt other systems, and I do mean all other systems. I've seen a lot of people with similar concerns to you, anon, and it is stressful. But after talking, I always find that the root of those concerns are strawmen that get telephoned around in strictly traumagenic or DID/OSDD spaces; basically making a boogeyman.

I do genuinely want to thank you for asking too, since many don't due to the above, and I'm happy to answer any other questions you have (either through asks to DMs). Communication is what the community needs, because a lack of it is what created this,,, Mess.

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

[thedreadvampy]

Like the thing about the Pride discourse (sorry) is that while I do think there should be space for kink at Pride and that the degree that explicit content at Pride is even A Thing is vastly exaggerated, I can totally see why others might disagree about there being kink at Pride and I have no beef with that

but the degree to which people follow on from that by just coming out and saying with their chest that the reason for that is that Pride Should Be For Everyone, Pride Is No Longer Political, We Should Prove We're ~Normal~Not Deviant, Pride Was A Riot But Now It's A Party is like. this is what I actually have a problem with.

shut the fuck up

we don't live in a post-queerphobic society there are massive attacks on trans rights Right Now in both the UK and the US. in the UK people are working hard to revive section 28 targeting trans people. despite laws to protect us homophobic discrimination is rife. queer migrants are often deported based on homophobic stereotypes. gay and bi men still face medical discrimination. in many countries LGBTQ+ identities are still illegal or unprotected but even in countries where there's superficial queer acceptance buddy you know marriage equality wasn't the end of the fight. none of us are free until all of us are free and the backlash is tightening.

if Pride isn't a protest then it's letting ourselves be sold as a commodity when we should be standing up for our rights and the rights of our brothers and sisters and siblings who are currently being targeted by police by lawmakers by media by violent hate. this isn't about knowing your history this isn't 'the first Pride was a riot' Pride WAS and IS a protest.

if you think kink specifically is a problem then I'm down to hear you out, I believe in building accessible movements, but if your problem is mainstream unacceptability then Yeah Dude It's A Fucking Protest

if you want a mainstream party go crying to Absolut and Barclays about it because that's what they're trying to make Pride. if you want to actually fight for queer liberation you have to accept that part of that is making people uncomfortable.

[posi-pan]

Is it possible to get some reassurance about identifying as pan. I get so manny hate asks about it that it’s starting to make me think I should call myself bi just to get them off my back...

of course! i don’t know if the kind of reassurance you’re looking for is the nice words positivity kind, or the facts/history to debunk hate kind. but i’ll do both just to cover my bases.

identifying as pan does not harm anyone. the words people call themselves in good faith do not affect or threaten anyone else. someone being hurt by the problematic explanations other people give for pan is not on you or the pan identity, it’s solely on those individuals.

you are not responsible for anyone other than yourself, and if you’re just labeling your identity in a way that makes sense to you and feels right for you and it’s what you’re comfortable with, then you have nothing to worry about.

every queer group has queerphobes, not just the pan community, so anyone zeroing in on biphobes or transphobes in the pan community, while conveniently ignoring the same in other communities or the issues in their own community, because they want to generalize us and make us look disproportionately bad, is not operating in good faith.

pan is not biphobic or transphobic. like i said before, individuals are the issue, not the community the belong to or the label they use. the origins of pan are not biphobic or transphobic. before it sort of gained ground and started becoming an identity on its own in the ‘90s/’00s, pan simply existed within the bi community as an alternative mspec label; along with other labels such as polysexual and omnisexual.

this “feud” between pan and bi is entirely fabricated by people who want to divide the community. are there biphobic pans and panphobic bis? of course, they’ve bought into the idea that these two identities and communities are at war with each other and all the misinformation and lies that are spread to maintain that idea. but history tells a completely different story. and even now when you look most bi organizations and activists, the story there is not what this online “discourse” would have you believe.

i know it’s stressful and hurtful and at times scary, but it’s important to remember that the people who spread hatred and lies online in order to divide or homogenize the community, no matter how loud they might be or how many it seems there are, they are a small group that does not reflect the greater community.

this type of online “discourse” kicks up every so often with a new identity that people think will be an easy target because it’s less known or less visible or less understood or already less accepted. pan is just the latest one. and it’s also important to reminder yourself that nothing panphobes say about pan is true. literally nothing. everything they’ve claimed has been debunked.

so again. identifying as pan isn’t hurting anyone. pan itself isn’t hurting one. it’s a perfectly valid, valuable identity label. not only because we as individuals decide what labels we want to use and give them meaning based on our personal feelings and experiences, because that’s how identity labels work (they’re personal, not universal or prescriptive), but also because history and facts back this up.

if you’re interested, i have a resources page that has links to my reference tag, the pansexual timeline i made, the history of the bi community accepting alternative mspec labels i put together, some pan inclusive queer research and pan statistics. i also have a faq page that debunks a lot of the things panphobes say and includes links to further read up on the topics.

i hope this helps, and i hope you stick to the label that you actually want to use and feel comfortable with and represented by, because everyone has that right and we shouldn’t be bullied or shamed or scared out of that. 💜💜

[robotslenderman]

Ewww getting big privileged homophobe vibes from you. Blocking now.

Thank God.

I doubt you'll ever read this, but just in case hate-reading is your thing - I don't know why you bothered with anon. You're obviously not a follower because I talk about how queer I am here ALL THE TIME. I saw many queerphobes on that queer post, and even visited a few of their blogs. (Most of them were TERFs, except one - you, who claimed to be a trans dude. Maybe you are! Maybe you're not a TERF posing as a trans dude and you really are okay with being part of a movement absolutely dominated by TERFs!)

But there was only one that I left a comment on. You'd posted about how queer people are so horrible to call ourselves queer. Like the anthropomorphic personification of class and tact that I am, I trolled you by asking if my queer presence made you uncomfortable.

Clearly, it did. :)

So go ahead. Call me the first mean name that comes to your head, as if it bothered me what a random totally-not-anon thinks I am. I'm totally fine with queerphobes thinking my existence is homophobic, because the only way they'd understand otherwise is if I pretended I wasn't queer. My alleged homophobia is latched on to my identity as a queer person. The only way you would not accuse me of being homophobic is if I stopped calling myself queer.

So you use my very identity as a weapon against me. I am queer, and I am attached to not being a homophobe. You know that queer people do not want to be perceived as something they hate completely by anyone, strangers included, especially on a website where people harass first and listen later (if at all). So you hold us hostage - deny our queerness, and you'll drop your weapon. You'll drop the word "homophobic" and stop pointing it at me.

I'm not gonna cave to this.

Nor am I going to write an outraged essay about how I'm not homophobic. You know perfectly fucking well that not a SINGLE queer person is straight. You know perfectly fucking well that most queer people are same sex attracted or attracted to enbies. You know perfectly fucking well that queer people have accepted that part of us and aren't dealing with internalised homophobia or inflicting it on other people because we ACKNOWLEDGE our queerness and you can see this, otherwise you wouldn't be getting mad about it. In a homophobic society everyone has a degree of it, but by being what we are we have less of it than the great majority.

You know this perfectly well. Don't fucking pretend otherwise, I would have to believe that you are well and truly and sincerely STUPID to think for one second that you think I'm a straight person or a closeted gay person who's lashing out with malicious homophobia. Real homophobia, not "this person is part of a minority I am bigoted against, so I will claim they are inherently homophobic unless they get back in the closet or categorise themself in a way that allows me to fine tune my bigotry appropriately."

Because let's be real. Queer hasn't been used as a slur in decades and was reclaimed before I was even born. "Gay" was the slur of the time when I was growing up, but people like you never had a problem with that. Why? Because gay is clear cut and well defined. The problem people like you have with queers like me - the REAL problem, not the faux outraged you have made up about my label - is that queer means I have declined your insistence to more accurately categorise myself.

I mean, how else would you know specifically how to treat me? I could be bi and you might hate bi people, but if I'm a gay queer you don't want to aim the wrong type of bigotry at me by mistake - not because you care about gay people (you don't, because many gay people are also queer), but because you don't want to make yourself look silly by aiming the wrong type of bigotry at me. I could be queer because I'm an enby, and maybe you're truescum that would despise me for it, but you don't KNOW whether or not I'm an enby and that drives you mad! You don't want to risk alienating people who care about you by shitting on someone they might not agree is an acceptable target, so you target every queer and claim it's about a word when really, many queer people seek refugee under that term to hide from people like you, and you don't like that we can hide from you, so you try to strip our shelter away from us.

(And let's be honest. You probably don't even actually hate us. You're probably just afraid. Afraid of some identity you don't really understand because you've never taken the time to get to know us, or afraid that society will accept you less if we're "competing" for acceptance and so take some of the spotlight... I won't shit on you for fear, anon. We are all afraid of something. But I absolutely have a problem with how you're choosing to knowingly hurt people to cope with it. You called me "homophobe" to hurt me. There was no other way to possibly interpret the context of what you were saying. You meant to do this.)

So take away queer. Take away the shelter of queer. Force every queer person to divulge, upfront, who they are that makes them friends with queer. Force them out of the closet and pretend THAT'S not homophobic.

Send the gay queers back to the L and G of LGBT, let the TERFs flush out the trans people who are queer because they're trans* and shoo them away from LGBTQ spaces. Or maybe you really are trans, but you want to kick out straight trans people, or enbies, or pan people, or bi people, or ace people, or, one of the many populations that make up the true queer community.

* Not all trans people are queer, but many are BECAUSE they're trans. I would say "many are queer because they identify as queer" because that makes it sound like queerness isn't an inherent part of who we are and gives people like you ammo I have no interest in supplying you with. "Aha! So you CHOOSE to be a slur!" I just know you'd completely ignore everything I said to the contrary and say that.

Yes. The true queer community.

We've told you again and again that we're not calling you queer. We've told you again and again, if you're not queer, you're not part of the queer community. You're LGBT+, not queer. I'm not part of the LGBT+ community, I'm part of the queer community.

The queer community is not the true community of people who aren't straight and cis, that's not what I'm saying. We're not any more or less LGBT+ than you. I'm not invalidating the identities of people who aren't straight and/or cis, because they are who they are, and you don't need to be queer to be LGBT+. But we are the true queer community in that we are queer, and people who are LGBT+ but are not queer are not queer. Only queer people are queer.

("But people use queer community as an umbrella term to mean people who aren't queer, but are still LGBT+!" Buddy, if I have to deal with being called LGBT all the time even though it's not true, while having the people who use LGBT obviously mean me too because I'm not straight, then you can live with it too. That's mostly straights doing that, in which case you have no reason to get mad at US, or people who are are making something for a straight audience or a questioning audience, in which case they're making it accessible because not everyone knows the nuance of queer and LGBTALPHABETSOUP discourse. Or even - and I know this thought is incomprehensible to you, as the centre of the universe - it's actually referring to queer people and queer people only, not LGBT+ who aren't queer. Actually, I love that idea! Queer history is now history of queer people, no non-queer LGBT+ allowed :D)

I've never felt LGBT+ even when I thought I was one of the main four letters. But I've always felt queer, even as my understanding of my specific brand of queerness changed. Queer is an umbrella term that is opt in, that covers any and all LGBT+ people who know they are queer too, who know they're one of us, or who simply choose to call themselves queer for whatever fucking reason they want. Some of us are intrinsically queer, some choose to be queer because of the inclusiveness or relative opacity of the term, and you don't know which one a queer person is unless you have earned our trust enough for us to tell you.

And people like you fucking hate that.

So you know what?

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because the people who actually know more about me than the few sentences I've given you know that that's a joke, and their good opinion matters more to me than yours.

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because because it means I've won. I've gotten under your skin, just as your bigotry got right under mine. You're furious you can't categorise me. You're pissed off that I could be one of the LGBT+ people you actively dislike and want out of the LGBT+ community, but are finding a hell of a lot harder to flush out of the queer community because we all look the same at first glance and refuse to give you information you feel entitled to. Because it's easy to force people out of the closet in the LGBT+ community, but much fucking harder in a meritocracy like the queer community. To get into the LGBT+ community, you have to tell them which one you are. Queer? No questions asked, cause you already told us all we needed to know! Welcome home!

But let's say this is all a strawman.

That you really are some well meaning person who has nothing against the more obscure queer identities and that you really do just have a problem with the word. That you truly do think that queer people, the great majority of which experience same sex attraction, are... somehow... homophobic just for using the word despite their advocacy against homophobia and total acceptance of that aspect of themselves and others. That our fight for marriage equality and employment and housing protections and human rights is rendered COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IRRELEVANT because we used a word that Boomers and even some of gen X hurled at each other because a guy was a little bit girly, or a girl refused to grow her hair long, or because men were scared that a man would treat them the way they treated women. (Because queer as an archaic slur, ultimately, comes from misogyny as much as homophobia.)

Let's say you really do mean well and really do know people who were called queers instead of fags, or you really did grow up hearing "that is so queer" to describe things people didn't like, or you really did have "queer" hurled at you by straight people as if there was something wrong with you for not being cis and straight.

(Notice something, there? You probably haven't actually experienced any of that, nor anyone you know. This wank about who I am as a queer person - it's always aimed at us. Never the straights that used it against us. Nobody uses the word queer except queer people any more, I am 99% certain that you don't know ANYBODY who has had it thrown at them AS a slur, so that means that the only people you can target on your crusade are... gender and sexual minorities. Not cis/straight people. Because they're not calling us queers and haven't in decades.

That means you are knowingly targeting minorities over this EXCLUSIVELY, I am completely fucking certain..

... but I'M the homophobe?)

In which case all I can say is: I hope that the well-meaningness that's made you put this hateful thing into my inbox, that's made you say such hateful things to a minority because of their identity (there's a word for treating people differently because they're a minority, especially hostile treatment..), will outshine the hatefulness of what you're saying and lead you to a better way to express your desire to protect people.

If you truly are coming from a misplaced belief that we're somehow deprecating ourselves by being queer, and not a desire to force us out of the closet or to run off any gender or sexual minority, then I apologise for my hostility, acknowledge that learning takes time (and patience that I am unable to give, for I am tired of bad actors pretending they're not and cannot do it), and wish you the best in learning to be inclusive and loving so we can count you one day, at least, as a friend of us queer folk. Maybe one day we'll even welcome you as one of us. I'd love to do that more than I'd like to deal with THIS crap. I can't imagine me going off on you will have helped at all, but from in my experience people who want to protect gender and sexual minorities protect them. They don't target them. That's why I am writing this post under the assumption that you wrote this because you have bad intentions towards me as a queer person, and not out of a well meaning desire to protect anyone you think I've somehow hurt by being me.

In which case? Get fucked.

[star-anise]

Hi, star-anise. Would you mind giving me some advice? Recently there's a homophobe in my local fanfic community. She tries to indoctrinate people with homophobia. She demonizes yaoi, calling it sinful etc. She demonizes genderbend fics, calling it LGBT Agenda™️. She is undeniably queerphobic, not just about fiction. Apparently she's a part of fundamentalist cult. Also, she's a known serial harassers who habitually harass BL/slash writers. What do you suggest we do?

Damn, that sucks!

What kind of fannish infrastructure do you guys have? That is, do you all just hang out on the AO3 category/main Tumblr tag, or do you have things that you can control the membership of?

1. Encourage a positive fannish atmosphere - Decide on a core set of principles, or guidelines of behaviour, you want to encourage in fandom, whether that’s “Hate-Free” or “LGBT-Positive”, or put in rules like “No Homophobia, No Harassment”. Post things about the importance of representation and LGBT pride, or about the importance of fans treating each other respectfully. Try to build a culture of acceptance and inclusion that’s so lively and engaging that when she spews bullshit, it’s obvious a dissonant note.

2. Build fannish infrastructure - A fandom can just be the AO3 feed and a Tumblr tag. But the more you actively build spaces and institutions, the more you can shape the culture around it. For example, you can create a secondary fannish hashtag on Tumblr or Twitter where everyone hangs out and socializes, like #inclusive[fandom] or #hatefree[fandom] or #[fandom]rainbow, so someone who checks out the main fannish hashtag will see that many cool creative people are talking in this LGBT+-friendly space. You could use that tag on AO3, too.

Other types of fannish infrastructure: Rec blogs, ficathons, gift exchanges, theme weeks, podfic exchanges, Discord servers, or remix challenges. Give all of them an anti-harassment policy, for example, “This blog will not rec any work by a user who has harassed another fan in the last 6 months”, that both let you enjoy fandom without her, and give her an incentive to stop harassing people.

3. Make consequences happen - If she’s part of any group space you can control the membership of, use those rules or principles to kick her out. If people aren’t willing to kick her out permanently, then decide on a length of a ban, like 3 days, a week, or a month. Every time she says something bigoted? Kick her out. This might not stop her so much (I recommend a “3 strikes you’re out” policy to keep it from being a revolving door ban), but it will send a strong message to onlookers that this shit won’t fly, and they’ll get used to what things are like with her gone. 

If your common fannish space moderators won’t do that, get rid of them, or find a new fannish space. Seriously. If a moderator won’t set rules for basic good behaviour, or get rid of a toxic troll who constantly breaks them, they are of no use whatsoever.

If you can round up proof of her harassment or homophobia, you could also report her to the websites she uses. Twitter has a Hateful Conduct Policy and abusive behaviour policy, harassment and hate speech are against Tumblr’s Community Guidelines, and AO3 has a Harassment Policy. All these sites’ policies also forbid making extra accounts to get around a block. It’s really tedious, but for a long time now I’ve kept a folder in my computer where I keep screencaps of fannish abuse, harassment, or hate speech, in case I need to make a report or go, “Hey, the user you banned previously? They’re back using a new account.”

4. Help keep everybody safe -Let everybody know that blocking, reporting, and ignoring abusive users is the best way to go. Make that knowledge as easy for new users to find as what the shipnames are and who makes the best fanart. Teach people how to filter post content on Tumblr, remove certain users from AO3 searches (type -“creators: username”), or subscribe to a Twitter block list. 

5. Forgiveness is optional. Good behaviour is not - You can keep giving her chances to change if you like, or you can just cut her off. If she promises she has genuinely changed and really wants another chance, it’s up to you whether to give it to her--you don’t owe her forgiveness. If she really wants a “fresh start” she can go find another fandom where she hasn’t already hurt people. 

On the other hand, harassing her or sending her abusive messages isn’t okay. One of the sad realities of the Internet today is that if you name someone for bad behaviour, various people will take it upon themselves to target that person for harassment and abuse. Therefore, naming and shaming isn’t a great first line of defense because it’s so likely to have negative consequences. See what you can do first about making your fandom resilient against her bullshit, and removing her from your spaces, before doing it. Sometimes it is necessary to have a Canonical Callout Page explaining why everyone should block this person, or to have someone keeping tabs on her who can let everyone know if she’s renamed or changed accounts. However, that’s kind of a “if all else fails” scenario. Hopefully, you shouldn’t need it.

Good luck! <3 Gay rights, trans rights, have an awesome time in fandom.