#because people make assumptions

[undercoverpena]

hii! this might be quite personal and I mean no offense but how do you write so much? do you block time out (and how do you write so well?) I need to know!!!

I’m sorry I’ve sat on this one for a few days anon! my personal life has been a shit-show and I always worry if I respond when im under stress my British-wit/snark comes across as bitchiness 😂 because what I want to say is—

poor mental health + shit sleeping routine + a head full of stories

but that sounds flippant, doesn’t it? even if I mean it in jest. so I sat on it to give you and anyone else that will read this, the below insights into me, jo. a person you may follow, someone you may check in on but don’t follow, or someone who makes you seethe from a corner hahahah.

one. I have always created stories in my head. which sounds cliche, but it’s true. i assume there’s some psychological explanation like avoidance because I don’t have the tools to deal with real life or that I prefer the version of myself in my head than irl. but that’s point one. my head is full of them. and for as long as I can remember, on and off, it’s always been there. I didn’t always write, admittedly, but I thought about them. maybe made my dolls reenact them or created the story on the sims.

two. point one leads nicely into point two, but I find life very overwhelming a lot of the time. I cope, I function, but writing helps me so much. so I tend to do it daily. I physically can feel when I haven’t—like there’s too many voices, too many things bursting around inside of me. it’s how I cope with my mood disorder, and I’m happy to say 8/10 it works. (this is partially why I don’t get fazed by numbers, im going to write regardless if I share it, and if I do share it, there’s zero expectation from me anyone will read it. it’s more a gift from my brain to your day, you know?)

three. because of point two (see a theme here) I struggle to sleep. a good day for me is six hours. a bad day is three. somewhere in the middle I tend to cope and function. sometimes, when life is really fucking hard, I’ll have eight hours and you can tell—because I actually do not write. it usually means I’m burnt out, honestly.

four. more pleasant now, less scene setting than before, but I plan out things. before I share a series I’ll bank a handful of chapters in case my muse fucks off on vacation (the wench) and I’ll always write an ending so I can go about writing out of order (because I do not write anything in order, not a chapter, not a series or a one shot). so mainly, I find a routine that works for me. I cannot force myself to write chronologically, so why bother? you know? circles don’t go in square holes and all of that.

five. I’m rigid with my upload dates. yes, for lovely followers this means waiting, and for me this gives structure — which helps massively with points one to three. but it also buys me time. it gives me the chance to sit in my feelings when I share a chapter, and think logically about what I want the next chapter to feel like. I also like having dates associated to characters in my head, because it gives me some focus of when I should share it.

six. I can write on my phone, at a laptop and in a notebook. the phone one helps massively as I can do so anywhere and any place. this has meant long drives provide oneshots you all love, chapters have been written on planes and things that make you all hate me are written in bed, in the dead of the night, while the rest of the world sleeps. but again, I found a system that works for me. writing at night is my best and most productive time, so I had to adapt to be able to do so effectively without making my husband worry about me.

seven. surround yourself with people who don’t judge you for writing copious amounts. I’ve tried to do the fitting in thing, I’ve tried to dilute myself, and I’ve tried to lessen uploading because of comments “friends” have made or asks I’ve gotten. find people who celebrate you even one on one, because that’s when you’re creativity will really bloom.

eight. I mentioned earlier about process, but I have a process that works for me in terms of plotting. I do a few rounds of different things which I call skeleton, muscle and then skin. but my friend ( @thetriumphantpanda hi babe) loves to create mood boards before she begins. we all have processes and it’s finding one that works for you. my process helps me share all the things I do with you.

nine. I tell the story I want to tell. I pour my heart out onto a screen because I want too. and because im pleasing myself first and foremost, it allows me to feel creative. for the only time in my life, I am in control and I get to put myself first.

ten. I love writing about love. I love grand gestures, and small little moments; I love big speeches, and I also love the head turn and a simple, you’re not too bad you’re not. I love it all. and because of that, I fucking love what I do on here.

so, to answer the question what started all of this off, I write so much because I love what I do, because I can, and because i do it for me first with the secondary hope I make one persons day. that’s it. that’s my baseline, one person outside of me. the rest is just a bonus.

so, find the thing you love to write about, and just write it. take your time. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. write ten words a day or a hundred or a thousand. spend days moving a full stop or a comma or weeks thinking an idea over but not making a single note.

however you choose to do it, make sure you have fun. because otherwise, it’s just a job, and we already have to give to much of our days to that as it is.

[marzipanandminutiae]

I miss people using non-medicalized terms for other people's passions

like. well and good to talk about "hyperfixations," "special interests [in the context of an autistic person's favorite subject]," or "infodumping" if you have ADD/ADHD or autism, or are talking about someone who is, but...that's not everyone who feels strongly about something, obsesses, or loves talking about their interests. those words mean specific things, associated with specific forms of neurodivergence

don't assume everyone is comfortable with that language

"rambling" is a word; so is "ranting." "obsession" is a word. "passion" is a word. learn them and use them

[saltyyetbland]

ngl im fucking terrified of how the fandom will act when the asian ccs get added and they are confronted with asian customs such as honorifics, asian cultural norms, and the language itself (ie words that are common in one language that sounds like a slur in another) and i know most of the fandom will be open and welcoming but idk im probably being way too pessimistic as someone who is asian and has seen the bs that people can spew esp regarding things like stereotypes

[uncanny-tranny]

I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.

Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.

Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.

"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.

That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.

[tj-crochets]

Today I learned that while I can now walk around the neighborhood to look at yard sales that does not mean I should, because I will spend the afternoon with super low blood pressure I mean, I did figure that out after walking like half a block, but then I cam home and set up my own mini yard sale of just plushies, baby blankets, and quilts, and apparently "sitting outside in the sun for an hour" is too much for me physically at the moment? Definitely a learning experience lol I did sell a few plushies, a pair of baby booties, and a quilt! And the quilt went to someone super excited about it! It was her favorite color (it matched both her nail polish and her ring)

[formosusiniquis]

Aging rockstar Eddie Munson who goes viral on tiktok after dueting a fancam of him and Stevie that is backed by the bi wife energy audio.

It's shaky, clearly a spur of the moment response, Eddie is obviously captivated for a second by a clip of Stevie that starts to play. He sighs and directs his attention back to the audience. "I love my beautiful wife, the sun to my moon, the light of my life."

You can just make out another voice from somewhere in the background call out, "Love you too!"

"But I did not survive being an openly gay teenager in the 1980s in rural Indiana to be called a heterosexual!" 

He zooms in closer to his face, it's unclear whether this was intentional, "I did not go through a sexuality crisis in the early 90s when she transitioned, to be called a heterosexual."

Stevie comes out from somewhere behind where Eddie is ranting to drape herself around his shoulders, "Oh that's a good picture of us." The original video is a step above thirst trap and the picture in question is a pap shot of Stevie and Eddie from a long past Halloween. Stevie is in the famous Farrah onepiece and Eddie is in first husband Lee Majors' Six Million Dollar Man red tracksuit.

"You just like it cause we actually ran into Farrah and she liked your hair."

"It was also-"

She isn't dislodged as Eddie fails, well practiced at staying on her perch. "I didn't cancel the back half of our 1995 tour because of morning sickness to get called a HETEROSEXUAL!"

Stevie's smile is indulgent and soft, it wrinkles the corners of her eyes in soft crows feet that betray her age. "You can be trans and straight."

"A fucking ally then!"

She's got a sage Mona Lisa smile as the video ticks to a close, "I love my husband, and he's actually bi."

[wiisagi-maiingan]

[trans-cuchulainn]

had a really interesting convo yesterday about ethics and whether intent or results matters (eg if you tried to make an ethical purchasing choice but the business was actually exploitative as hell, does that "count") and very much came to the conclusion that sure, if you're concerned with your personal immortal soul, as a christian might be, then intention counts. but if what you're focused on is your impact on the world, then intention means nothing if the actions have negative results, right? (that doesn't mean you're to blame for them! you didn't know! but you also don't get "ethics points" for trying, you know?)

and this also got me thinking about the whole christian idea that sinful thoughts are as bad as sinful actions because. they're just not imo. maybe for the sake of your Immortal Soul they are points against you, if that's your jam. but in terms of putting good into the world, in terms of your impact on other people, the ONLY thing that matters is what you choose to do with those thoughts. there is no way that "was kind to someone who was pissing me off, for the sake of community harmony" or "helped an acquaintance with a task even though I felt resentful about the time spent doing that" is a Bad Thing for the world

and it made me wonder how much purity culture and thought policing is rooted in (mostly evangelical) cultural christianity and this idea that ethical choices are an individual thing because what matters is the impact of them on YOUR soul and not, you know, things we do because of what we owe the world around us / because of love for others / because a world where people are trying to put good into it is a hell of a lot nicer to live in than one where people are only worried about themselves

i grew up evangelical but like. fairly mild evangelical and even though there wasn't a big focus on hell and stuff, i definitely fixated on imperfect thoughts and behaviours that were putting absolutely no harm into the world, rather than focusing on what i could do to put good into it, and that individualistic vs outward-focused approach to morality has been something i've grappled with a lot as an adult. but i never really thought about it as simply as this and really that's what it boils down to. are you making the ethical choice because you're trying to put good in the world, or because it would make you a "good person" to do so? because the answer to that 100% defines whether it's the thought or the result that counts

[commsroom]

i don't think early-series hera gets enough credit for how funny she is. "scans do indicate a percentage drop in the tank's capacity that is commensurate with the amount officer eiffel could stuff into a crewmember duffel bag"? she saw him do it. she probably talked to him while he did it. it's the tonal dissonance between highly technical phrasing and a very blunt observation. like when eiffel asks her for her top five 'stick it to the man' songs and she asks him things like 'top five lanthanides?' until he says "you're just yanking my chain, aren't you?" and she responds by quoting anarchy in the uk at him. sure, sometimes there are things she genuinely doesn't get and/or would express differently, but the way she frames it is playing with the false expectations people have of her. she knows exactly what she's doing.

[allthoseotherworlds]

Genuinely really loving the tendency of official Doctor Who stuff to now refer to the Doctor in general with they/them pronouns

[idolomantises]

Anyways speaking of being gay apparently teenagers on tiktok are mad at me because they found out I’m a lesbian who uses he/they pronouns

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

.... Roy, you're supposed to be explaining why people think Connor's gay, not why they think you're gay.

[uncanny-tranny]

I love trans people whose transness means that their sexuality is complex. I love trans people who adopt contradictory labels. I love transmasculine people who still have ties to old lesbian spaces and transfeminine people who still have ties to gay spaces (even if they themselves aren't lesbian or gay). I love trans people whose dysphoria has put them at a place where they don't want to engage with any type of sexuality. I love trans people who are confused, unsure, or questioning. I love trans people who toe the lines of queerness. I love trans people who are unapologetically embracing their sexualities. I love trans people who are working through internalized shame about their sexualities.

[mayasaura]

When it comes to John, I have zero interest in condemning him. First of all, it's boring. You mean destroying the world and lying to your friends about it is bad? Shocking. Groundbreaking character work.

Second of all, I'm just not all that comfortable with condemnation in general, not when it comes to whole-ass people. Actions, for sure. I am ready to wholeheartedly condemn pretty much every decision this man has ever made, but I'm only comfortable doing that with a side of compassion for the man himself. Tamsyn said once in an interview that some of the discussion she's seen about Harrow is unintentionally very cruel to people with mental illnesses, and I feel similarly seeing a lot of the discussion around John. If I'm going to try to figure out where he's coming from, why he did the things he did, and what he thought he was accomplishing by doing them, I'm not at all interested in coming at those questions with contempt or disgust.

To me, the main question when it comes to John is: What do you do when you feel that you're unforgivable? That you've fucked up so completely no one will ever love you again, unless you lie and trick them into it? How do you deal with shame? And while part of the answer is definitely "Holy shit, not like that," what I'm most interested in is: what should he have done instead? At what points in his narrative could he have changed his course? And at what point, if ever, did he become right about it being impossible for him to dial it back and turn around?

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.