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#because them being different types goes better with their different personalities
httpiastri · 1 day
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nsfw alphabet – ln4
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author's note: this pretty much wrote itself, oh my god. hope you enjoy (and hoping for some good results this weekend!!)
nsfw content below !! minors dni !!!
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a – aftercare (what he is like after sex)
after sex, lando craves having you near him. he needs his skin on yours, he needs to kiss you, he needs to hold you. it doesn't matter if he's just fucked you senseless, he still can't live on if he doesn't feel your body pressed up against him.
lando gets soft and mushy after sex, and especially if he's been in a certain type of mood; he just needs to make sure you're alright and that you understand that even if he got a little too into it, he's still your cute and sweet boyfriend. he thanks you for being there, he asks you if you're feeling good, and makes sure he wasn't too rough with you.
another thing about lando after sex is that he loves cockwarming. the first time you tried it was probably just because he was lazy, too tired to pull out, but after then it's so much more. again, it's that craving for your touch and what better way than to completely drown in you all night? he doesn't care if you're both sweaty or sticky or if your combined juices make a mess of the sheets. that's a problem for another day.
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b – body part (his favorite body part of his and also his partner's body)
lando likes a lot of his own body parts for different reasons. his tongue because of the way he knows it makes you feel and because he's confident in his skills with it. he likes his hands, the size of them and the way they never fail to make your back arch off the bed (and because of how they look wrapped around your wrists, your legs, your waist, your neck...). he knows his neck makes you go crazy, and he'll think about you leaving a trail of lovebites down it whenever he does his neck exercises at the gym. but honestly, i think he just really likes all of his muscles, partly because of how defined they are and how good they look, but also a lot of it is because of how strong he is; he loves being able to hold your body down in bed, or hold you up in the shower, or throw you over his shoulder and toss you onto the bed.
i genuinely can't figure out if i think he's an ass guy or a boobs guy – i'm pretty sure he's both, and he's obsessed. it doesn't matter if you're petite or curvy or somewhere in between, he's pretty much gawking at you 24/7. if you're turned towards him, he's happy to have a view of your chest. if you've got your back turned against him, his eyes won't be leaving your gorgeous butt. his hands will be on them all the time, doesn't matter if you're out in public or home in your apartment. he needs to feel you, and nothing satisfies his needs as much as having his favorite body parts of his favorite person in his hands.
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c – cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
oh he's good with anything. coming inside you, in your mouth, over your chest, doesn't matter. he finds it all so insanely hot. seeing you lick it up? he's dead. seeing you lick your own cum from his fingers after he's fingered you? even more dead.
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d – dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his)
lando loves a good photograph – and that definitely goes for pictures of you. you bet he's got a whole private folder on his phone of just pictures of you on top of his covers, hickeys adorning your skin... ass or breasts on full display... tied up to the bed frame or with one of his hands wrapped around your neck... of course, the two of you have had a serious conversation about it to make sure it's consensual, and he would never ever even think of showing anyone else, he's far too possessive for that. they're purely for his own enjoyment.
the only thing that makes him even more aroused than pictures of you is videos... he's a bit shy to bring it up but he would love to make some kind of softer sex tape one day. but for now, he'll settle for the short clips he has of himself slowly thrusting into you or you riding him.
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e – experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?)
lando is experienced, no doubt. mostly with casual hookups, though, which i think influences his style. he definitely knows what he's doing, he knows every little secret about your body and what every touch will make you feel. he also surprises you with a new trick every once in a while that just blows your mind because how can he still impress you even after all this time? that's just lando.
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f – favorite position (this goes without saying)
lando doesn't settle for just one position, he wants you every way all the time. he loves to switch positions mid-way through just to get another angle and another feel of you. plus, the bonus of getting to see different parts of you is great. doggy just to have his hands on your ass, cowgirl to get to see your breasts bounce... he doesn't really have a set favorite, anything that makes you both feel good is perfect for him.
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g – goofy (is he more serious in the moment? is he humorous? etc.)
oh he can definitely be goofy with it. lando laughs at pretty much everything and that doesn't just go away in the bedroom. it's not overly frequent, like he doesn't just crack jokes out of nowhere, but he's a smiley dude. he's also very teenage boy-ish, which leads to a lot of laughter and funny situations.
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h – hair (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
i don't think he cares too much, to be fair. he's tried shaving a couple of times just to see how it looks, but he's much too lazy to keep up with it. as long as you don't mind a lot, he will just let it grow however it wants.
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i – intimacy (how is he during the moment? the romantic aspect)
he's intimate, sure, but not overly romantic i think. there are moments or certain occasions where he definitely is, though; he enjoys getting all romantic and fluffy for you every once in a while. but for him, most of the romance comes after it. the aftercare is where he'll show just how sweet and domestic he can be.
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j – jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he used to love a good handjob, especially during a race weekend when he didn't have access to any girls and just needed to blow off some steam. but ever since he started getting with you, it's just not the same anymore... he misses your touch, the feeling of sinking into you, getting to hear your whiny breaths as he fucks you. he doesn't properly get off by himself unless he's watching a video of you or looking at a particularly suggestive picture you've sent him.
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k – kink (one or more of his kinks)
i think lando definitely has a bulge kink. seeing your stomach move around when he thrusts into you makes him so weak. also, i'm sorry but he has a bit of a pregnancy kink, too. especially after spending days with baby relatives or just seeing kids around. it doesn't come out very often, but don't be surprised when he gets all "you'd look so good with my baby inside you" and "let's make that belly round and beautiful, hm?"...
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l – location (favorite places to do the do)
i feel like the location doesn't matter a lot to him. bedroom, kitchen, living room, bathroom, the windowsill that any of his neighbors could look through any day... having someone watch you two doesn't matter to him; he just feels like a generous boy for giving them a treat.
he isn't shy to get it on in public, either. obviously, behind closed doors is a must, but if he gets particularly horny at a friend's party? then the bathroom seems like a good place to spend some time. he isn't shy to play a little with you in public either, his hand on your thigh underneath the table at the club slowly but surely inching up... and giving you a few teasing strokes until you're begging for him to just take you home...
one of his weaknesses is swimming pool sex. as long as there's no one else in the pool, it doesn't matter if there are friends nearby (if it's a pool party, etc.); he just loves the feeling of the water around you and how easy it is to slip into you.
don't know where else to put this than here, but i think it's very important to add that lando does not care at all who else is near when you're around and he's in a mood. pda is his middle name, and his hands will be on you at all times. holding your hand, wrapping an arm around your waist, a hand on your ass...
if you're at a party, lando will be upset if you choose a seat that isn't his lap. having you straddle his thighs or sitting sideways in his lap is his biggest wish, and he feels like the world's luckiest man whenever you give him the pleasure of doing it. he also loves it because it means he can make sure you're not off talking to some creepy dude, and that everyone sees who you belong to. lando is very possessive and this is the perfect way to keep his possessiveness in check.
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m – motivation (what turns him on, gets him going)
honestly, it's not hard at all to rile lando up. he can and wants to get with you at all times. but drunk lando = extra horny lando. never is lando as frisky as when he's downed a few drinks (or half a champagne bottle on the podium). his hands will be on you constantly.
whenever you wear anything that shows off your cleavage, he's done. his brain will short circuit.
as i've covered before, and will cover again, lando is possessive, but also quite easily jealous. seeing you with some other dude makes him really easily riled up. it's not that he likes it – he hates the thought of you actually being with another man – but just a little teasing never hurt anyone. he's too confident in himself and he knows that you love him and only him, that even when he sees you flirt with someone else, it doesn't upset him because he understands that it's all just a game.
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n – no (something he wouldn't do, turn-offs)
lando doesn't like to share you. he thinks it's cool that you flirt with other men, but if you were to ever cross the line and actually do something with another man, he would be so mad (and not in a good way-). he could possibly be up for a threesome if you really want to, but he needs to be there and he will be watching over the other guy with so much suspicion. he would want to make sure that you're enjoying everything he's doing much more than the other dude, and to be fair it would pretty much eventually turn out to be just regular sex between the two of you with the other man just not being involved.
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o – oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
he loves both of them. he's a messy giver, hastily licks and just eating you out like a starved man. he loves the taste of you – he swears it's one of his favorite things in the world – and he will just never get sick of it. he can go over and over, a million rounds, until he has you completely ruined underneath him; legs trembling, eyes rolled back, brain empty of thoughts.
your blow jobs, though, are like god's gift to him. he would never force you to give him them, but oh does he think about them about 24/7. unless you're completely oblivious, you'll understand quite quickly how much he enjoys them. and why would you not want to please him and make him as happy as he wants? he gets completely lost in the feeling, his hands tangling in your hair and fingers pulling on it, guiding you up and down... and he just can't hold back from thrusting ever so slightly into it. you're just too good – and you bet he'll praise you for it.
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p – pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
i think this can vary a bit, actually. fast and rough sometimes, slow but deep and hard other times. it's not often that he's on the sensual side, though it does happen every once in a while. but you bet he's going to pour all of his energy into it and make it real hot and needy, no matter the pace.
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q – quickie (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
he definitely likes a good old quickie! you've both gotten quite used to them, especially during race weekends when you have a tight schedule. if you're really really tight on time, a quick blowjob does the job, too.
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r – risk (is he game to experiment? does he take risks? etc.)
definitely. he loves trying new things to spice things up, and he's not shy to experiment and take a risk that maybe not everyone else would. he would adore having a partner who's as open to experimenting as he is, it would just make him feel so free and non-judged. if you get to see lando in his fully comfortable state, you'll definitely find him suggesting all kinds of things.
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s – stamina (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)
lando is obsessed with you, so nothing can tire him out. he can last forever (or, at least so he thinks).
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t – toys (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?)
as we've talked about already, lando is up for anything. bring up any kind of toys and he's sold. he's also really curious about how you please yourself when he's away, so you bet he will love watching you get off without him helping you out.
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u – unfair (how much he likes to tease)
lando is definitely a big tease. pressing pecks all over your body except for where you really need and want him, fingers stroking up and down your sides a little too lightly for your taste; leaning back when you lean in to kiss him, pressing a finger to your lips with a silly grin on his lips; pulling out of you just as you're about to reach your climax, tilting his head and letting out a little "oh? you wanted to come? sorry, baby. you'll have to beg for it"....
this also happens, maybe even more, when you're in public. he doesn't care who's around; he knows you get a little extra tense and that you're easier to work up when you don't want anyone to know what lando is doing to you. his specialty is kneeling down and pretending to tie your shoelace or brush away some dirt from your heels, and when no one is looking, he makes sure to press a short trail of kisses right above your knee and up the inside of your thigh. it makes you react with the same wide eyes and speechlessness every time, and he loves it. almost as much as he loves seeing your friends ask you what's wrong.
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v – volume (how loud he is, what sounds he makes, etc.)
lando is not scared of being loud, he's very very vocal during sex. he loves to moan, seeing it as a way to let you know how good he thinks you feel. he's the type to moan and groan even when he's the one doing the work; just watching your juices drip out of you brings a warm sensation to his chest because he's the one who did that. you react like that to him and only him.
he also loves to talk you through it. a lot of guiding, even though you already know what to do, and a lot of praise.
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w – wild card (a random headcanon)
one thing lando thinks is the maybe hottest thing you can do is pull on his chains when he's wearing them... just yanking him towards you so that you can press your lips to his, it has him dead in seconds.
he also has a thing for seeing you wear necklaces or chains (esp his chains) because it reminds him of this other type of necklace that he loves seeing around your throat much more...
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x – x-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
he's a big boy for sure. thickness is his strongest suit but he's got some good length too.
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y – yearning (how high is his sex drive?)
as i've said before, lando is obsessed with you, so he could have sex with you anytime anywhere. there's not going to be a time where he doesn't want to have sex with you.
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z – zzz (how quickly he falls asleep afterward)
i think it depends. if you've been at it for a while and he's very energetically drained, he'll be quick to fall asleep. but in some other cases, it takes him a long while to mentally calm down from his high and actually relax his mind. he'll be all pumped up.
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plutoasteroids · 2 days
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PAC How Will Your Future Spouse's Father (Your Father-In-Law) Feel About You.
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Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3
DISCLAIMER: This reading is solely for entertainment purposes only! I am not responsible for any decisions taken based on my readings.
This is a general reading so if nothing resonates don't take it to heart. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't!
ASK BOX is always open
TW: MENTION OF NEGLECT AND ABUS3. IF ITS A TRIGGER FOR YOU AND YOU CONTINUE TO READ ANYWAY PLEASE DON'T BLAME ME ITS YOUR CHOICE!
PILE 1
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Your father-in-law would view you as something new and different, you may be the complete opposite of the general type of your FS normally goes for but in a good way because I feel your FS doesn't necessarily have the best track record when it comes to picking their partners. Your father-in-law will quickly approve of you it feels almost like they'll say to your FS 'you made a good choice'.
But at the very beginning they may feel a bit unsure about you specifically because of the way you carry yourself, you could be really shy and not talkative or super confident anyways they just won't be 100% sure about you more so because he doesn't have a clear grasp on your personality or even your intention.
Them being unsure will quickly change and the two of you may have a relationship based on understanding or similar values or opinions. You'll have some sort of mutual understanding that will bring you both closer, in the long run they'll for sure view you as their child maybe even as somewhat of a friend.
Your Father-in-law gives me scholar vibes if not heavy lawyer vibes, lawyer, professor, teacher maybe even a priest.
PILE 2
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They will feel somewhat withdrawn from you. I don't think your future father-in-law is involved in your FS' life, as in they are around but they never took an active role, so they won't have much of an opinion on you. It seems like they might see you from a distance like maybe through social media.
But from what they know about you they feel like you're very passionate and enthusiastic about life in general because your life will be pretty well. They feel like you have your life together and they like that.
But there is some sadness here mainly relating to the fact that their child found their life partner and are moving on with life and they can't be a part of that. They might do some introspection to try change and get better, they may even try to slowly enter yours and your FS lives.
It feels like they may have been a dead-beat dad for some of you and for other just emotionally unavailable and maybe slightly abus!ve.
PILE 3
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Your father-in-law it seems like they may be aware of your existence in their child's life, but they aren't aware of how significant you are but finding out about your significance in your FS life might be somewhat of a pleasant surprise to him.
He will have a positive opinion on you, feeling like you bring some balance and happiness to your future spouse, and it feels like he won't be too active in your life and that of your fs. Like not absent but giving you two space to be your own people and your own couple, but he'll be there when you need advice, or you need someone to talk to.
I think you may give him a fresh perspective on life, and he'll certainly appreciate your views and your opinions. He seems to eb more on the unconventional side.
Random information: He may pay for your wedding (if you want to get married) just because he wants to and it would make him happy to pitch in financially.
He may not be married to your FS' mother. Like he is married to your FS' stepmother, or their partner isn't the biological parent of your FS. I also get the vibe of it being maybe a same sex marriage.
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loveanton · 2 days
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all the stars | park wonbin
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⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: “today i decided to let you go. not because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me or that you apologized, but because my soul deserves peace.”
❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: ex!idol wonbin x f!reader
❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: lovers to strangers!au
❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 3k
⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: heartbreak, wonbin is really mean,,,that’s it really.
⏤ 𝑎/n: some angst to spice things up hehe
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“to be infatuated with someone is not the same as being in love with them,” there’s a pregnant pause that slowly fills the lecture room as you and your fellow students dwell on your professor's words. “when you’re infatuated with a person, you are simply in love with the idea of them and what they can offer you at that moment. you lust for them but being in love is completely different. being in love means desiring the happiness of your partner, admiring them for the individual they are, and feeling motivated to be a better person. when you are in love, your relationship goes beyond the superficial things and the physical attraction.”
you pull your eyes away from your professor and glare down at your notes as your mind wanders off to a person you can’t seem to forget these days. park wonbin.
it’s been months since you last heard from the male who can’t seem to leave your thoughts, each memory your heart recalls to your brain breaks you even more.
was what you had with him love or was it infatuation? it couldn’t have been the latter, could it?
no, it wasn’t. you loved him fully and wholly, you loved him for who he was. you didn’t love him for the money, or the expensive gifts. no, you loved the real him. you loved wonbin, the person he always tried so hard to hide, not the well known singer. you loved his obsession with fashion, his cute little giggles, and his overwhelming generosity.
wonbin would do anything for anyone, he was a walking ray of literal sunshine and you miss the warmth he brought into your life.
what you had with him wasn’t infatuation because you could see forever with him-you can still see forever with him. you can still vividly picture the seven bedroom home that he would describe when you two were cuddled up in the backseat of his car. he promised he would build you your dream home and fill it with nothing but kids and pure love, maybe even a few pets if you ever overcame your fear of cats and dogs.
it was love. it is love, because you’re still in love with him even after he broke your heart. even after he left you because of his growing career and walked out on three years worth of effort and love.
“love is a tricky emotion and can be hard to decipher. it creeps in slowly until it fills your whole being and becomes a part of the oxygen you need to breathe. while you might not feel its presence at times, any form of removal and you feel as if you’re beginning to choke.”
you hear the last end of your professor's speech and you can’t help but agree. you’re suffocating without wonbin. regardless of the hurt he’s caused you, you still need him to breathe and you hate both yourself and him for that.
“we’ll pick this up another time, there’s reading for tonight so make sure to take notes because there will be a quiz next class.” professor xu announces before getting to work on wiping down the whiteboard.
you make work of quickly packing your bag before scooting back and exiting the lecture. on your way out you hear the frantic call of your name and that stops you in your steps. you turn around just in time to see your best friend yemi dashing towards you.
“what type of friend forgets about their bestie's existence?” she scoffs once she reaches your side.
you sigh at her dramatic claim before turning back around, “you seemed to be enjoying eye-fucking professor xu, i simply didn’t want to disturb you.”
a scandalized gasp leaves her lips and she reaches out to smack the back of your head. “i was not!”
you hiss at the stinging sensation but decide not to retaliate, “sure you weren’t.”
she falls into step beside you and contemplates her previous actions before asking, “...do you think he caught on?”
you hum, “seeing as you do it every class, probably.”
yemi groans and leans her head on your shoulder. “it’s not my fault God decided to make xu minghao so freaking attractive!”
you reach up and pat her head. “you’ll be fine.”
the two of you continue your walk back to your shared apartment in silence, your mind wanders back to wonbin and you wonder how he’s doing, if he’s eaten today, maybe if he’s even moved on.
“____?” you snap out of your daze when you hear yemi softly calling out to you. you turn your head to look at her and find her staring at you worriedly. “are you okay?”
you nod. “why wouldn’t i be.”
“because you’ve been silent for a whole ten minutes, this is a new record for you, ____…” she trails off and thinks for a few seconds before tentatively adding, “and you’re crying.”
you frown and reach a hand up to touch your cheeks. your eyes widen in surprise when you feel the moisture on them. “oh.”
hesitantly, yemi asks, “...are you thinking about wonbin again?”
and just like that, you brake. your heart cracks a bit more at the sound of his name and the tears instinctively begin to fall. yemi sighs and brings you in closer to wrap her arms around your frail body. you tremble in her arms as you sob like a baby and yemi swears under her breath as her vision gets foggy as tears clog her sight as well. she’s never hated your ex more than she does in this moment.
she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to forgive him for breaking your heart. all you ever did was love wonbin with your whole being, but the second it came down to it he picked his career and fame over you. the person he promised to love and protect forever.
he left you crying hysterically by the swing set where he first asked you to be his and took your first kiss. now you can’t even walk past the park without crying so you avoid it all together.
“i-i hate him so much yemi.” you cry into her shoulder and she nods.
“i know, me too.”
“it hurts even more because i’m still in love with him! i hate how he still has a piece of me, i hate how i can’t ever stop thinking about him or how i can’t even walk past a stupid park without crying! i just want to be free of him! i want to hate him as much as i love him,” you wail. you can feel yemi tighten her grip on you.
“i hate what he did to you, ____. i know how much you loved him and so it’s going to take you a while to stop loving him, i understand that but that doesn’t mean i understand you wasting away, i’m not saying you need to get over him now. but you can’t let the love you still have for him deter you from bettering yourself and eventually moving on.”
she pulls away and looks at your tear ridden face, “love yourself as much as you love him and find the strength to leave him in your past. stop letting him win.”
you sniff and wipe away the tears in frustration, “i’m trying yemi! you think i like the hold he still has over me? it’s hard to forget three years worth of memories and love!”
she lifts her hand to your cheek to wipe away a stray tear you didn’t even know fell from your eye. “i’m not asking you to forget the memories you made with wonbin my love. i’m telling you to accept the fact that it’s over.”
your body turns rigid as you fully process yemi’s words. she’s right, you need to accept that what you had with wonbin has run its course, he’s not coming back and desperately wishing he would won’t return him to you. you need to let him go so you can find peace and stop wasting your energy on someone who has made it clear you were never worth any of theirs to begin with.
you nod slowly and whisper a meek, “okay.”
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11:58 pm
“____! i did the last ramen run, if i do it again the cashier is going to think i’m a pig!” yemi cries as she rolls around on your bed.
“yemi please, if i stop typing i won’t be able to pick up later!”
she shrugs, “okay and? i will literally give you my card please, ____.”
you sigh, “fine! but you have to cook it too!”
“whatever, just go get the ramen!” she whines.
you sigh and gently shut your laptop. you glare at yemi and snatch her bank card from her hand before promptly exiting your bedroom and apartment all together.
the walk to the seven eleven across the street doesn’t take you more than a minute. you greet the on duty cashier before picking up a basket and head straight for the ramen shelf at the back of the store, you make sure to pick out the spicy carbonara yemi had been crying about all night and one pack of tonkatsu for you. you make your way up to the front of the store to pay but make a quick detour at the candy aisle and pick out a few goodies for yourself, seeing as you’re not the one paying.
as you’re exiting the candy aisle, you hear an all too familiar infectious giggle. your heart begins to race and your grip weakens on the basket when you catch sight of a black haired male with a fresh cut entering the aisle holding hands with another female.
your heart seizes in your chest as your eyes greedily drink him in. the last time you saw him he had bleached his hair blond hell bent on growing out his hair because you would always cry when we he got a new cut. he would always cry about how his fringe would poke his eyes and beg you to tie his hair up for him. You even started carrying around extra hair ties just in case he needed his hair tied back.
he looks away from the girl by his side and makes eye contact with you, his smile faltering and his stare growing cold and distant. just like that you’re brought back to the night he broke your heart and took a piece of you with him.
“we need to break up, ____.”
you feel the world freeze around you as you stare at the back of wonbin’s head, “w-what?”
he straightens his back and turns to face you, pinning an icy glare on your face. “let’s break up. what we have was never meant to last, i can’t be with you anymore.”
you adamantly shake your head, “why? we’re happy together, i love you and you love me. isn’t that enough?”
he scoffs, “did you really think we would last? we’re from two different worlds, ____. it was fun while it lasted but let’s end it here.”
tears begin to prick your eyes as you stare at him in shock that slowly morphs into anger. “where is this coming from wonbin? just last night you told me you loved me and that you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else so why are you hurting me like this!?”
he clicks his tongue and steps closer to you causing you to take a step back. “it was all a lie, i used you to feel better about myself, i can’t see myself with you, imagine how that would look.” he chuckles darkly and glares at you, “world renowned singer dating a nobody.”
you feel your heart shatter at his harsh words, “w-what?”
he sighs, “i know you’re smarter than this, ____, use that big brain of yours for once. you and i were never meant to be, i’m making a name for myself and i need someone who’ll fit in, someone who comes from my world. not a middle class girl playing dress up in higher society.”
you want to slap him, you want to hurt him just as much as his words are hurting you but you can’t bring yourself to do it so you stand there and take the berating.
“delete my number, act as if we’ve never met. i want nothing more to do with you from now on.”
and with that, he leaves. leaves you crying by the swing set where the two of you shared so many memories. where he kissed you like his life depended on it, like you were the oxygen he needed to live.
you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you’re pulled back to reality. you thought your heart would crack some more seeing him again for the first time in three months but it doesn’t, instead you can feel it slowly mending itself back together.
yemi was right, it was time to accept and move on. seeing wonbin with his new girl is doing you more good than you thought it would, it’s clear he’s doing just fine without you so why should you continue to wallow in despair while he’s living his best life.
you deserve happiness too. you spare the couple a smile, probably the most genuine smile you’ve smiled in weeks before sidestepping them and walking to the cashier to pay for your snacks.
you don’t bother sneaking a glance at them, you don’t need to know if he’s looking at her the way he used to look at you, eyes filled with love and a beaming smile on his face. you also don’t need to know if he’s staring at you, hoping you’ll turn around and confront him for what he did to you all those months ago.
no, you don’t need it anymore because you’re choosing to let him go.
you thank the cashier and pick up your bags before exiting the store and jogging back to your apartment.
“yemi!” you call, once unlocking the door.
“what?” she screams back. you quickly drop the bag and sprint towards your room. you find her spread like an eagle across your sheets playing with her nintendo switch not really paying you any attention.
“i ran into wonbin.”
she snaps her head in your direction and quickly drops the game console. “what happened? are you okay?”
you smile and nod, “i think i’m ready to finally let him go.” you take a seat beside her and place your head on her shoulder. “he was with someone else, they seemed happy together and i wasn’t bitter like i thought i would be.”
you play with the strings of your sweatpants, “i want him to be happy. i don’t mind that he doesn’t derive his happiness from me anymore. being able to see him smile so freely and be at ease with someone else helped me realize that what we had truly is over and that’s okay. there’s no need for me to keep punishing myself for something that was never my fault to begin with.”
yemi smiles and wraps her arms around you. “i’m happy for you.”
you cuddle into her side and nuzzle her neck. “thank you. not just for this but for being there through it all, i really appreciate you yemi.”
she hums, “you can show me how much you appreciate me by making the ramen.”
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2:08am
after bickering with yemi about who would be making the ramen and playing five rounds of rock-paper-scissors, you ultimately lost and cocked for the two of you with the promise of her cleaning up.
after your meals you watched one episode of how to get away with murder together before retreating to your designated rooms.
now, all alone and wide awake with your thoughts, you debate on whether or not you should text wonbin. you stare at his contact and contemplate.
you didn’t have the heart to block him like he told you to, instead you settled for changing his name from wonbin with an obscene amount of heart emoticons to just, jb.
after debating it for a few more moments you decide to do it, what could you possibly lose from this?
02:08 AM 06 / 20 / 23
[you]: hey
[you]: you don't have to respond, i just have a few things i need to get off my chest and i'm not expecting anything from you. you don't even have to read this honestly but i need to say it.
[you]: i loved you. what we had was true unconditional love. being with you made me a better person and taught me to love fearlessly. i wasn't in love with the money or the expensive gifts or dates. i liked being in your presence, i liked the lowkey dates where we ate fast food in the back of your car, the dates where we were just wonbin and y/n. not the ones where you forced yourself to be park wonbin, that's not who i loved because he wasn't you. i loved the real you. i still love you.
[you]: but with that said, i'm choosing to let you go. i can't keep holding on to the idea that you're going to come back to me. it's time for me to leave you in my past and move on, i can't keep crying myself to sleep and wondering what i did wrong because the truth is, i didn't do anything wrong. the only thing you could possibly ever accuse me of is loving you too much.
[you]: i'm not asking for an apology or for you to even acknowledge the pain you've caused me. i'm not doing this for you, i'm doing it for me. i deserve just as much happiness as you do so i'm giving myself the closure you never did.
[you]: thank you for the memories we made together over the three years i got to call you mine. thank you for the late night drives when my insomnia was preventing me from sleeping, thank you for making the birthdays we shared together the most memorable. thank you for allowing me to know the real you, wonbin.
[you]: i hope you can continue to find happiness and that you never lose touch with the real you. a part of me will always love you.
you’re not even bothered by the fact that he left you on read. in fact a smile finds its way on your face. you place your phone down on your bedside table and fall asleep soundly for the first time in forever.
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pokemon-ash-aus · 2 days
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I'm more curious on what reverse betrayal AU is, i couldn't really find anything in the tags sorry
Damn i SWEAR i wrote it down already. I guess Tumblr's tags are extra extra broken.
OKAY 👏
So everyone knows the canonical fanfiction trope of Betrayal AU's yes? Where the Main character of any fandom (in this case Ash) gets abandoned and spit on by their friends and partners except for the brief few that usually end up being the love interest?
In this case it's
Ash's friends leave him, ash's pokemon leave him except for the strong ones (pikachu is usually leaving him behind but i call bull so whatevs), Ash gets new pokemon, stronger and so much better (also legendaries, whoda thunk), he gets a love interest or a harem (cause why not) and then gets WICKED OP to the point its a bit unbelievable. Theb the betrayers come back and Ash wipes the floor with them while mocking them the whole time.
Its a well known trope, one that i used to adore myself, but i found it lacking after a hot min. The characters were always OOC, and the progression of events started to lean on terrible for me. No hate to the trope, i wrote one nyself once upon a time (unfinished), but it's nit in my wheelhouse anymore.
And so i made the Reverse Betrayal AU, mostly as a kick but really it started on the same premise but executed differently.
Ash's friends gather round, in this case, it had only gone up to alola so im sticking by that. My reasoning was that the little field trip down in Kanto was an excellent opportunity to get the rest of Ash's friends down there as a surprise!
Now, i want to point out the crucial information that Ash acts differently with each friend group. Not intentionally being deceitful, but more of, trying to fit into the type of person they need. For Misty that was a Brat, for May that was a Mentor, for Dawn a Sibling, for Iris an idiot, for Serena a hero. Etc etc.
Alola was the place where Ash *couldnt* do that so he finds himself in a mix of Mentor/friend/sibling role.
But when they all are there, Ash has a hard time trying to figure out what he should be and what he should stray into. And that leans into him being a Brat because Misty is a VERY loud personality in a way no one else was.
And boy do they grate on each other's nerves.
Misty is teasing him playfully, but Ash is biting back HARD. Not because he wants too, but the stress of the situation makes it hard for him to fight back just as playful. Especially with Iris there since her words used to cut before, but now he's painting Misty with the same brush but twice as deep.
And Misty doesnt appreciate this right, so this playfight on her end turns into actual fighting, words of anger and resentment speaking out on both sides.
"I WISH I NEVER MET YOU." Get's thrown out and the entire field goes quiet.
"Ditto." Ash growls.
And they turn away from each other.
And Brock is already trying to placate, he's seen this before a million times but then...
Everyone else jumps in.
Accusations are thrown, some side with Misty some side with Ash. None of these people are friends with each other, they all are connected through Ash.
And so Brock cuts them all off, cause the two were BOTH being uncalled for. And when he turns to Ash to ask what he was thinking.
The kid is outright gone.
No words no nothing and that leaves a deep deep dread in Brock's stomach.
"Oh he left, just like a little kid." Iris sighs, shaking her head as the others glare at her.
"No," Brock's voice trembles and that stops everyone else from really saying anything. "Ash can be rude and angry and wrong all he wants but he doesnt ever leave a conversation mod way- hell he doesnt even run away from a confrontation- this- this isnt right."
And while they look for him it starts ti become more and more clear that... None of these people are /friends/. They know Ash and Ash only.
And that starts *arguments*, screams of whose right and whose wrong and why Ash doesnt need to have a friend like *you.*
Its the take of, instead of Ashbeing abandoned by his friends. Its instead Ash 'abandoning' his friends instead. But its not really true, cause Ash wabts to be with his friends he's just...
Very mad right now.
Whoo i went on a tangent. I have more- somewhere- so ill need to look for it.
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anarchoherbalism · 2 days
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it's funny/sad to me how many anti-diy med people whip out their mood stabilizers or antidepressants as examples of irreplaceable pharmacueticals when actually, plants LOVE making alkaloids! Yes, there are BIG question marks in terms of keeping people alive that are scary. For example, some stopgaps exist for some types of diabetes-- therapuetic diets and mediating metabolic processes via plant-derived medicines give people much better odds of hanging on while further work towards community-based insulin production and/or alternative medications are being developed; but people are HUSTLING on insulin, HIV medication (antiretrovials), and other projects because we need more solutions NOW and ACUTELY, not just for the future.
Brain meds tho? That shits fucking gucci. On lock. Would it take YOU, PERSONALLY putting in research time and trying stuff out to land on something that works for your needs? Of course!!! Everyone taking virtually any medication goes through that process anyway! Are there direct analogs for you to switch to seamlessly from what you take now? No, you will likely have to take a different approach using different pharmacological basis--but even those bases exist already, many of them have simply been discarded in scientific research or clinical practice for reasons OTHER than their efficacy or risk* (such as socially-born risk like the war on drugs or good old market competition). AND, that's only if you are the most staunch evidence-based person out there; there's exponentially more information available if you're at all willing to experiment based on anecdotal evidence, something your doctor abso-fucking-lutely does nearly every time they customize a treatment plan, or choose between closely-related members of the same class of medication.
For most people, especially if you're starting from a place of skepticism, nobody's gonna hand you a resource you won't come up with some kind of beef with. GOOD. it means you have a critical eye. Hone that! Discard what you think is bullshit and hold on to the handful of principles in every source you think could be valuable and you will start building a base of knowledge and expertise that is practical and relevant to your own needs and context.
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featherglum · 10 months
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Klapaucius and Trurl ponysonas. If you even care.
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sysig · 6 months
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What your fave says about you: Sona/Undertale edition (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#So many sonas and characters lol#Ended up filling the other side of the zine with something self-indulgent :)#Actually came from the same kernal as a digital-specific idea but these are what I've ended up with in the moment!#Zine doodles end up...silly lol#I draw with pen logic! And mm... I won't say I'm Displeased with them but there are things I'd change for sure#Overall the vibe is there just not completely the execution lol#I'll get it better when I do the digital version >:3c It'll be like how I see it in my head and then I'll have both! Nice#For the moment tho doing an eight-highlight reel of the who's who was fun :)#Obviously starting with myself and my fave <3 This terrible little flower whom I love with my whole heart#I really do love him - I'd go and rewatch my fave scenes with him but the in-built guilt haha#The next was easy! My fave sona gets my second fave character! Papyrus only loses to Flowey by a hair's breadth anyway lol#Anyone in the thread remember that time I compared Charm to Papyrus lol#They both want people to like them so badly! They go about it very differently tho lol#Papyrus would be a good influence on her :) Just be nice to people! Ironically she'd probably agree more with Sans lol#Speaking of! Eli would be the type of person who goes digging around in the backend and Totally claims to like Gaster the most#Y'know because secret values and stuff! Super sneaky like! But actually their fave is Snas lol#You are Basic Eli just accept this lol#Ficus was an easy pick for Napstablook - they would absolutely lay on the floor and think about being garbage with them#That deadened gaze lol#Ulex looks so uninterested in Alphys lol they're just bad at talking - dissimilar from Alphys in that they've got the stoic thing going on#They're not awkward just not good at making friends lol#Hall of Mirrors would absolutely love Undyne lol - being friends with her and cooking together would make HoM So Happy haha#Another obvious one - Othersona already comes with spider imagery! Muffet was the clear choice haha#They are having a cup of spiders and they are enjoying it :/ Lol#And finally Holosona and original calculator-body Mettaton haha - she prefers this version over EX and NEO#She'd probably like NEO - she absolutely plays the Genocide run on purpose - except for how OHKO he is lol#A different sona likes NEO tho...#Anyhow ♪ Might talk more about their different play styles in the digital version :D When I get there anyway lol
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naeviskz · 4 months
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“ PRETTY , PLEASE ” ๑‧˚₊ ─── FLX
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synopsis ; you think your roommate is really pretty, but you think he’s even prettier when he whines and begs for you.
genre 숌 virgin!felix x fuckgirl!reader | roommates AU
words - 4.0k+ tags/warnings 숌 fluff, pwp, smut, (slight age difference: felix is 23/reader is 25), sub!felix/dom!reader, noona kink?, perv!lix, oral (m), solo masturbation, corruption kink, edging, dacryphilia, rlly cute & soft ending tho <3
☆ 彡
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Have you ever met someone so pure and innocent that you feel the need to shield them from any and all bad influences that might corrupt them?
Those were your exact thoughts when you first locked eyes with your new roommate Felix. You thought he was the most precious little bean ever ;( His shy, timid nature made you want to coddle him like a baby, and always spoke in such a polite, well-mannered tone due to you being his senior. At first Felix didn’t talk very much when he moved in and was constantly cooped up in his room doing god knows what, but eventually he’d warm up to you and the two of you soon became really good friends.
You don’t particularly like most men, you tend to get annoyed with them easily, only using them for a quick fuck because that’s all they’re good for. Personally, you didn’t care to start getting serious with anyone at the moment, prioritizing work and other future goals instead of boys who come and go. Felix was quite literally the only exception to this. You genuinely enjoyed his company and valued him as more than a friend, he was so easy to talk to and could make anyone in a room feel comfortable with his presence.
You loved how he never made a fuss about chores when you didn’t feel like doing them. He was never rude or brought strangers over, and he kept to himself most of the time— the perfect roommate ever. Felix was studying biology at school to become a veterinarian as he’s told you many times he loves animals before. You were already out of school by now, as you graduated 2 years ago but you didn’t mind living with someone a couple years younger. He’s very mature for being in his early twenties, even more than some of the 30+ year old “men” you’ve slept with in the past.
One thing you’ve noticed since he’s always keeping to himself, he takes his schooling very serious and constantly studies. He never drinks, smokes, or goes out to parties, but he doesn’t act better than anyone either, it’s just how he is. You’ve never seen someone so dedicated to their work, wondering in the back of your mind if he even knows what taking a break means. You’ve tried getting to invite him out to other social events but he would always say that studying was far more important, you seriously never seen someone be so obsessed with school. Before you graduated, you weren’t a straight A student by any means but you did care about your grades, overall you still managed to balance a social life within.
Felix was never the judgmental type, he didn’t care if you brought a lot of friends over or the occasional hook up you’d have, he would just turn a blind eye to most of those things. You didn’t think it’d ever impact the way you both interacted but unfortunately after a while things have started to get a bit awkward between you. He’s been awfully more quiet these days and whenever you two would walk by in passing he could barely even look at you. Any time he did, it was if he’d seen a ghost or something— the way his face went pale from being drained of all color and would immediately hurry back into his room.
You don’t know what’s up with him but the more he’s been treating you this way the more you feel like he doesn’t seem to like you very much anymore. This weekend you plan to have a quick chat with him about everything and to clear up some potential misunderstandings. Little do you know the real reason why he’s been keeping his distance from afar…
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God he feels like such a creep for eavesdropping on you having sex with someone else right now.
It wasn’t supposed to end up this way, he simply walked past your door without a second thought but as he came closer he heard what is presumably you moaning out another guy’s name. That’s when it piques his curiosity to listen further, he’s only heard this type of stuff from watching porn but it’s a whole different experience when in real life. He should feel more than embarrassed about doing this, ashamed for invading his roommates privacy in such a horrid way but he doesn’t move. Only continuing to press his ear up against the mahogany door, getting a clearer sound of your wanton moans, feeling something shift.. a familiar throbbing sensation causes the sudden constriction in his pants.
He’s far too gone to even think about stopping at this point, subconsciously dragging his hand further down as he comes in contact with his hardened cock. All he could hear was skin slapping, imagining you bent over the bed while taking it from behind, arching your back as you pant louder for them to go faster and faster. Felix continues to feel himself through the constraints of his clothing but it wasn’t enough for him, it wasn’t enough to alleviate the discomfort down there. So he ends up going back to his room to finish his little fap sesh, ridding himself of everything, t-shirt, sweats, boxers— ready to finish what he accidentally started.
“___, please..” he’d stir in his bed, going to town on his cock as he pumps his hand around it, thinking about you on top of him. “Noona.. m’so close…” he whimpers out desperately, feeling so overly sensitive that his body’s buzzing with pleasure.
Felix was so overwhelmed in his thoughts he barely noticed the precum leaking out and spilling around his small hand, his eyes were completely shut and zoned out in utter bliss. He wishes nothing more than to have you doing this to him instead, wondering what it’s like to have a girl as hot as you jerk his cock for him, he’s never experienced what it’s like but he’d want you to be his first if he ever does. It frustrates him that he can’t have you in the same way those other guys do, they’re more experienced and can please you better than he could.
One thing he knows now is that he’ll never be able to look at you normally again after doing all of this.
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Things just couldn’t get any worse for him at this point. He’s now found a pair of your underwear which has mistakenly ended up in his laundry somehow. He didn’t do know what to do … if he tells you it accidentally got mixed in with his stuff then you’ll probably accuse him of stealing them as an excuse. Plus he didn’t want to face the embarrassment of even handing these back to you. It was a really pretty pair too, a red lace thong with black trim and a cute satin bow on the front. He wonders how your ass would look in these panties, secretly getting so jealous of all your hook ups and how they’ve all got to see you naked.
Felix decides the best course of action is to quickly return them in your room before you finish showering. He’ll simply sneak into your room, put them back in your underwear drawer, and he won’t have to think about it again, this was going to be the easiest plan of execution. Boy could he have been any more wrong. He couldn’t find which drawer they were supposed to be in, essentially wasting more and more time trying to find where to stash them. He honestly could’ve hid them anywhere but he was paranoid about that seeming suspicious too. Then he just considers possibly keeping them for himself. Playing with the fabric in his hands as he thinks of the idea to jerk his cock with your underwear wrapped around it. If only you knew the things he wanted you to do to him..
“What’re you doing in my room Lixie?” You question your roommate’s intentions as you walk in from getting out in the shower. You catch him holding something in his hands but quickly stuffs the object away in his pockets.
Fuck he’s totally screwed. There’s no going back from this now.
“Uh- nothing! I was just about to leave actually-” just as he attempts to make a run for it, he turns around and comes face to face with you in just a bath towel.
He’s legitimately gone crazy now, stopping dead in his tracks to gawk at your beauty. You exude high levels of sex appeal without even trying, it’s almost intimidating being in the same room as you. Felix thought you look absolutely gorgeous in your natural state, noticing the fresh water droplets still glistening on your skin and wet strands of hair sticking to your face. He really wants to know what’s underneath that singular layer, sensing another uncomfortable situation down there.
“Don’t be silly Lix, you looked like you were looking for something. What’re you holding?” You continue asking but he refuses to give any solid answers, telling you over and over how it’s “nothing” and he wasn’t lying but something didn’t seem right about his behavior.
You saw he put something in his pocket from earlier, so without a second thought you reach into that same pocket to grab whatever was in there. Everything happened so fast Felix didn’t even have time to process what was going on, mortified when he sees you pulling out a pair of your underwear from his sweatpants.
“Why do you have these?” Your expression was stone cold, you genuinely looked pissed off and it was starting to frighten him. He didn’t think you’d actually be upset about this but now he wishes he had just hid it somewhere randomly.
“It’s not what it looks like ___, you’ve got the wrong idea!”
“No I definitely know what’s going on here. Didn’t ever really take you as the type to be such a perv,” you chuckle at his horrible attempt in making any excuses. Coming closer to him now, placing both palms on his shoulders, you get all the way up to his ear and whisper, “I like perverts though ‘cause I’m one too.”
His face burned a crimson shade, growing flustered at your sudden dirty confession. The only thing he could do was gulp out of nervousness, even more worried if you discover the massive hard on he’s sporting in his pants. A subtle smirk forms onto your lips, debating where you should kiss and mark first but you want to take your time with someone like Felix— he’s too pretty not to. You lightly brush your lips against his neck, as if he’s so fragile and delicate, making him tremble from the sudden cool air you blow against his skin.
Felix felt his heart beating out of his chest, internally panicking at what’s soon to come. It’s not like he didn’t want any of this to happen, he’s just worried out his mind and tends to overthink everything. Those anxious thoughts were soon adjourned with a pair of soft lips against his trembling ones, eyes bulging out from the sudden shock of your actions. He stood there awkwardly for a bit as he’s never kissed someone before, he doesn’t know how he should react but he mimics your movements. You deepen the kiss even further, gently caressing the side of his face into your palm— his body was so stiff it made you feel self conscious about you making the first move. He was kissing you back but it didn’t feel like there was any emotion behind it, everything he’s doing seems so robotic and manufactured. You’re starting to think he may not actually be enjoying this.
“Something wrong?” You cautiously pull away to voice concern, regretting everything if he’s uncomfortable by your advances.
He mentally curses himself, feeling more upset at you thinking you’re the problem. “N-no… you’re perfect. This is perfect, it’s just- I’ve never done it before..” His voice trails off towards the end, embarrassed by his lack of experience.
“You’ve never had sex before?” You blink in confusion, it was seemingly impossible for someone as attractive as Felix to have never had a single sexual encounter in his life. However, you’d be more than happy to change that.
“No.” He shook his head, frowning at his sad revelation that he’s a 23 year old virgin.
“Awee, s’cute. I get to be your first!” You couldn’t help but find that to be so adorable, you haven’t took someone’s virginity since freshman year of college, it excites you all over again.
He’s seemingly surprised by the way you respond, “You’re not put off by that?” Most girls in your position wouldn’t want to deal with someone like him. He needs to be trained, taught exactly how to please a woman the way she needs to— which you’re more than capable of doing.
“No, why would I be?” It’s not everyday you hear a guy as handsome as Felix say that they’re a virgin, it intrigues you in some capacity. You want him to become your cute little plaything, someone only you can corrupt exactly the way you want.
“So you’ve never pleasured another girl before? Like not even fingering?” You delve deeper with more questions, wanting to know everything he’s done or hasn’t.
He shook his head yet again, “no, I’ve never done anything.”
This was unlike anything you’ve seen before, at least the other guys you knew who were virgins had actually done a few other things but this was new for you. The fact he was able to confide in you with something so personal made you want to be his first so badly. Maybe this was perfect— you were way more experienced than him so you can show him the ropes, how it’s really done. You express to him that it’s okay he was inexperienced, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and he’s in good hands now.
“What if I don’t do it right?” Felix looks so worried, his adam’s apple bobbed each time he nervously swallowed.
“You won’t because I’m here,” you reassure him by placing an affectionate hand on his shoulder, flashing a warm smile. “I’ll show you how to, don’t be shy it’s fine baby. Just lye back on the bed and I’ll take care of you pretty.”
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He did everything he was told, all instructed by you. Lying down on the bed with his back against your pink silk pillow, the black tee he wore slightly rode up, causing you to get a glimpse of his tummy. It was too cute not to touch, your nimble fingers travel up his waist to raise his shirt higher, feeling up his lower body.
Felix felt so powerless as you hover over his frame, both your legs on either side of his, enclosing him in such a tight space. Taking slow, deep exhales, he grows more tense as you slide your hands north, it’s a whole new sensation he’s never felt before. His breath hitched at you suddenly coming in contact with his nipple, brushing over it ever so slightly to elicit a subtle reaction. You love how sensitive he’s become to any minor touch you provide, feeling your arousal leak further down to your thighs as you think of turning him into your personal slut.
“Should I take this off?” You suddenly propose an idea, referring to the bath towel that was hanging on you by a thread. It was seemingly already coming undone as you didn’t tie the front properly, he was able to get a good view of your chest peaking out at the top.
“Mhmm..” Felix hums in sexual frustration, unable to get a clear word or sentence out in any possible way.
You oblige, biting your lip seductively at him as you reach to untie the loose knot, slowly prying the towel off your body that’s now completely dry. “Let’s start off with something easy,” you carefully suggest, traveling your hands down to the band of his gray joggers, lightly tugging them down to reveal his boxer briefs.
The tiny, blond, freckled boy is staring up at you with his big bambi eyes, he can’t believe there’s a naked girl on top of him while he’s still partially fully clothed. All the blood surges to his cock, making him so painfully hard he’s never been so desperate for someone to touch him in his life. Hips bucking into nothing as he humps the air for any stimulation, you couldn’t prevent the giggle that escaped your mouth. Finding him to be so utterly pathetic.
You lean in to kiss him again, never quite getting enough of the yummy taste of him. Tracing your index finger over the outline of his bulge, you feel him pulse underneath as you keep teasing him with more light touches. He could feel you smiling into the kiss, biting down on his lower lip as your free hand gets tangled in his platinum locks. You eventually sprung his cock freely out the constraints of his briefs, watching it stick straight up from being so unbelievably hard. His cock was gorgeous, about 6 inches in length and 2.5” thick, his tip was an angry, ruby red but the rest a blush pink color. Your fingers laced around his shaft, getting closer to spit directly on it before giving him a few moderate pumps. Felix threw his head back slightly, gripping the bedsheets in utmost pleasure, whimpering loudly as he ruts his hips to match the movements of your hand. Unable to hold back from just how good you’re making him feel he calls your name out again and again. His deep voice only gets raspier, a beautifully stark contrast to his angelic face being stuck in euphoria. As your pace increases he only gets more vocal, panting heavily while begging to cum as his jaw slacks wide open. Flashes of white invade his vision, everything around him becomes to fade into a blur. That’s when it all gets abruptly ripped away from him, soon as your hand withdraws his cock he opens his eyes again. His lips quivered in devastation, feeling as though he could cry from this.
“W-why’d you stop?” He whines out of frustration, wanting so badly to cum all over your hand.
The sight of him made you so incredibly turned on. Obsessed with the mess you’ve created so far, his flushed, rosy cheeks with drool seeping down his chin, his precum has leaked out everywhere.
You don’t answer, only chuckling at his misery. It’s fun to play with him, see how far you can push him in getting to do whatever you want.
“Want me to suck your cock, hmm? Say pretty please and I’ll make you feel so good.” Never breaking eye contact as you say it, getting off on the fact you have all the control and he’s totally helpless in your hold.
Felix is reluctant to speak at first, but he chokes up the courage to stutter out a plea, “P-pretty please.. Noona please...” lifting his hips just to feel something— you aggressively force them back down with your hand.
A devilish smirk forms across your face, you didn’t know he was the type to call you that. You want to reward him even more but only if he can be good and does everything exactly your way.
“Don’t cum ‘til I say you can. Got it?” You flash a look that’s anything but merciful, getting a rush from this dominant role you happen to take on surprisingly well.
He nods obediently, understanding what the consequences may be if he doesn’t listen. He wants to try his best to please you in any way he can, it’s the least he can do when you’re the one doing most of the work.
Wrapping your lips around his tip, you feel him twitch instantly inside your mouth, opening just a bit to swirl your tongue along his member. His cock feels slightly sore from being edged once before, gasping when he feels the plushness of your lips on him. Sinking further down, you fully take his length in your mouth now, head bobbing up and down to get the entirety of his cock down your throat. Felix couldn’t move, think, let alone breathe properly— he’s so far gone that the only thing consuming his mind is you.
“Like getting your cock sucked baby?” You coo, bringing your hand to gently caress his balls, making him cry out even more.
He only frantically nods in response, too weak and too lost in the feeling to speak, “Mmm…” he mumbles, he’s so close but he can’t cum, he has to resist the urge but it’s so difficult. There’s no way he’s going to be able to keep this up for much longer.
“Use your words Lixie,” suddenly pulling away from his balls, “or else I’m going to stop again.”
He’s back to being whiny again, not wanting to be edged so cruelly like last time, he finally chokes out a reply, “Y-yes.. I love it.”
You really love the way he sounds, you could listen to him like this all day. Back to what you were doing previously, your mouth completely takes him in, lashes fluttering up at him while you’re doing the most unholy act there is. His brain goes fuzzy as he can’t get over how amazing this feels, broken moans escaping his throat from the warmth of your tongue enveloping his cock. Humming around him in response to his constant throbbing, Felix hisses from the vibrations throughout his body. He’s trembling with so many nerves hitting all once, it’s all so new to him; this might just be the most intense feeling he’s ever had.
“Nggh… gonna cum- can’t hold it anymore..” he meekly warns, tears roll down his face as it begins to be too much for him to bear.
You decide to let him this time, feeling a little sense of sympathy for a cutie pie like him. There’s always next time you can edge him and break him down until he babbles and cries even harder. Your core aches just thinking about all the fantasies you’ll bring to life soon, it’ll never be a boring day from now on.
“Go ahead baby, cum in my mouth,” you urge him to finish by going faster, sucking him off like your life depends on it.
He can feel the coil in his stomach tightening, pushing him to the edge as he’s thrashing around the bed, moaning and crying out all types of profanities. The last words he spoke before he came was pure gibberish, too busy focusing on his release shooting out— he lulls his head back into the pillow from exhaustion. He doesn’t think he’s ever came that hard in his entire life. His eyes rolled back as you greedily swallow his cum, still continuing to suck like he wasn’t mewling for you to stop. More of his load comes out as you keep going, milking every last drop of him until he’s all drained out and empty.
Finally letting go of his cock, you pull away as you make a loud ‘pop’ with your mouth, a thin string of saliva still connecting you to his crotch.
“You did so good for me Lixie,” you praise sweetly, coming up to kiss his pouty lips after you’d just sucked him dry. He kisses back immediately, getting a taste of his release on your tongue, “c’mere puppy,” you motion him to come along once you pull away.
He’s not sure what you have in mind but he follows anyway, blindly letting you boss him around at this point. Felix enjoys every second of it though, you may have unlocked something he never knew he needed.
Your hands run over his shoulders, “How ‘bout we run you a bath, yeah?” Your voice is as low and gentle as a whisper, sounding as though you didn’t just do those unspeakable things minutes ago. He’s more at ease you’ve turned into a sweeter, more compassionate version of yourself now, “I think my precious baby deserves it.”
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- 完 ︎♡︎
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vivmaek · 5 months
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LUNAR PHASES
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The moon acts as a guiding light within the night sky and humans have used it to orient themselves within time and space since the dawn of our existence. However, our connection to the moon goes beyond practicality. Looking up at the moon evokes a sense of comfort, and its beauty is inspirational. As much as our planet has changed, for better or for worse, the moon remains consistent with its cycles. This sense of stability offers us wisdom, and each period of the lunar cycle represents a different stage of growth.  I was inspired to write this post after reading a fascinating article that is titled, “Effects of different phases of the lunar month on humans.” The Author, Ujjwal Chakraborty, explored the ways in which the lunar cycle exerts influence upon human psychology and physiology. Chakraborty states, “The altered autonomic neural activity and cardiovascular activity during different lunar phases is probably one of the fundamental causes of the changes of human physiology.”(2014) The autonomic nervous system regulates heart rate, digestion, respiration, blood pressure, and sexual arousal. Any changes that occurs within the autonomic nervous system is going to affect human behavior. To see a spiritual phenomenon be explained through scientific research is incredibly thought provoking; this leads me to believe that the spiritual meanings attached to each lunar phase must hold a certain amount of truth to them. If anyone is interested, the article can be found here. Chakraborty has a few other articles dedicated to lunar research that are also quite compelling. If this information intrigues you, I’d recommend looking into “The Transylvania Effect.”  
I. Lunar Phase Personalities
Click here to calculate the lunar phase you were born under.
✰ New Moon - Individuals born under this phase tend to be psychic and are gifted in their ability to acknowledge the unseen. They represent new beginnings and trust their inner instincts. This can make them rather impulsive at times. New moon babies seek out adventure and are dedicated to the process of learning. They want to experience all that life has to offer them and are not afraid to dream big. This is the only phase of the moon that is absent of light, and because of this new moon babies naturally stand out from the rest. They also make for efficient leaders because their emotions and ego are in alignment. However, they’re not the types to seek attention and would prefer to work behind the scenes. Their introverted qualities and reserved nature spark a lot of intrigue. People born under this phase can find potential within any endeavor and always have a fresh perspective to offer up. Learning how to embrace the unknown is a major life lesson for these types. 
✰ Waxing Crescent - These types can appear timid, but once you get to know them they are incredibly lively individuals who are full of curiosity. They prefer to stick to the things that they know and might struggle with accepting change. People born under a waxing crescent moon might get stuck within the past at times. Being courageous is something they struggle with. However, they still feel a desire to go out and explore, but they will approach these adventures with a practical mindset. Waxing crescent babies are attached to their comfort zone and are good at maintaining this even when chasing after new experiences. They are also good at finding the right people to associate with. Security is everything to these types, and they prefer to build deep relationships with people who will be in their life for a very long time. I’ve noticed that these individuals might feel more awkward than they come across. They are perfectionist and struggle with self criticism, they might get stuck within their own head during social exchanges. 
✰ First Quarter - There are not many individuals born under a first quarter moon, which makes these types out to be rather unique. These people are the “main characters,” and they know it. They are not afraid to take charge of their own lives and are highly ambitious. Individuals born under this phase are not dependent upon admiration or attention. The only person they’re looking to impress is themselves. First quarter babies embrace challenges. The more challenges a situation throws at them, the more likely they are to succeed. The type of person  who never backs down, they love putting their skills and talents to the test. Someone looking for a solution is going to be drawn to an individual born under a first quarter moon. Their strong personalities invoke action within other people and they serve as a source of inspiration. These individuals become unstoppable once they develop patience and learn how to wait. 
✰ Waxing Gibbous - A sense of maturity is immediately evident within these individuals. They are natural caretakers and people often seek them out to be nurtured. Waxing gibbous babies have a calm presence that elicits a sense of peace within others. These types maneuver social situations with grace and making friends comes easy to them. They inspire other people to be better, and some might try to emulate them. Other people notice their potential and can see what they’re capable of achieving, but individuals born under this phase struggle to see it within themselves. They might feel life they somehow always fall short or will tell themselves that they are not “enough.” This is the opposite of how people are perceiving them. They must learn how to care for themselves in the same way they care for other people. Developing a deep sense of self love is vital for waxing gibbous babies. 
✰ Full Moon - Individuals born under this phase are filled to the brim with energy. They might come across as more aggressive than they intend to be. Learning how to gain control over their emotions is a major life lesson for these types. Full moon babies might feel as though they are being pulled in two opposite directions. Their ego and emotions are not in alignment, they feel stuck between passion and logic. Sometimes they will chase after their desires even if that's not what's actually best for them. They can see themselves going in many different directions and it can be hard for them to choose just one. This indecisive behavior frustrates other people, especially those who depend on them. These individuals will find more success once they develop a sense of consistency within their lives. Their sense of creativity is deserving of focus and should not be overlooked. As much as their spontaneous nature might frustrate people, they also bring with them a sense of excitement and this is greatly appreciated. 
✰ Waning Gibbous - People born under this phase are often sought after for their wisdom and ability to teach. These old souls are great at communicating their thoughts and learning comes easy to them. It is unlikely that they will have to be taught the same lesson twice, they are not the types to make the same mistakes over and over again. However, being judgmental of others may be a struggle. These individuals need to understand that not everyone is going to learn as quickly as they do. They might become frustrated watching their friends running into the same issues over and over again and will offer up unsolicited advice. It would be best to let people come to them, people will ask for help if they need it. These types tend to place themselves within positions of authority and might struggle with their listening skills. They’re often caught lecturing people when really they should be listening. 
✰ Third Quarter - These types are sentimental individuals who are capable of finding deep meaning within everyday life. They hold an appreciation for the little things and show gratitude for what they have. Third quarter babies become easily attached, it can be hard for them to move on from the past. They take things slowly and aren’t likely to be caught up within a rush. Their loyalty is often taken for granted, as well as their kindness. They are commonly found within their own little world. Nostalgia maintains a strong hold upon these types. However, this connection to the past can create unpleasantries within their present life. They may be quick to forgive, but that doesn't mean they’re over it. Sometimes this can be unfair, third quarter babies need to learn how to let go of the past when it's for the best. 
✰ Waning Crescent - The ultimate day dreamers. Waning crescent babies have an extremely active imagination and are highly creative. They often have visions of what's to come and very little takes them by surprise. People are drawn to their deep insight and are attracted to their unconventional personalities. These types have a mystical presence, it seems as if they are from another world. Their opinions are uniquely theirs, which can sometimes lead to them being outcasted. However, they thrive when alone and oftentimes complete their best creative work during these moments. Throughout life, they remain true to themselves and are not afraid to embrace their eccentric qualities. They have lots of unconventional wisdom to offer. Many of these types are psychic and are in touch with the spiritual realm, but don’t quite realize this. Learning to embrace and trust their intuition is a big lesson for these types. 
II. Living in Alignment with the Lunar Cycle
✰ New Moon - Plant your seeds. This is a time to set new intentions and begin new projects. Take it easy by planning a relaxing night in so you can get in touch with yourself. Forget about the past so you can focus on what's best for the present moment. Journal about your hopes and dreams and think about the steps you can take within the next week to get closer to your desires. Burn a white candle, and incorporate the smell of tangerine, lemon, and jasmine into your routine. 
✰ Waxing Crescent Moon - This is the time to be productive. Make sure to partake in healthy habits, give yourself an extra hour of sleep by going to bed early. Continue to build upon the goals you set for yourself during the new moon. Practice meditation to remain focused within daily life. Eat a meal that would be beneficial for your health. Burn a green candle and incorporate the smell of bergamot, cedarwood, and ginger into your routine. 
✰ First Quarter Moon - Take time to focus on what's working for you and what isn’t. What tweeks need to be made within your daily routines and habits? Try to complete any tasks you’ve been putting off under this lunar phase. Go for a walk and listen to music that energizes you. Burn a red candle and incorporate the smell of patchouli, lemon and ylang ylang into your routine. 
✰ Waxing Gibbous Moon - Practice patience and journal about the times in your life in which you persevered. Focus on the progress you’ve made thus far and show gratitude for what you have. Try to complete whatever preparations are needed for the next few days so they will run more smoothly. Burn a yellow candle and incorporate the smell of rose or juniper into your routine. 
✰ Full Moon - Celebrate all the work you’ve completed by doing activities that bring you happiness. Have a fun night out with friends, take yourself out to your favorite restaurant. This would be a good time to focus on socialization. Make an effort to show your friends and family  some love. Burn a pink candle and incorporate the smell of sandalwood, cardamom and cinnamon into your routine. 
✰ Waning Gibbous Moon - Take time to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned within the past couple weeks. This would be a great time to declutter your space. Make an effort to let go of any disappointment or minor inconveniences that have been bothering you. Be kind to yourself and journal about the opportunities certain failures have brought you. Burn a light blue candle and incorporate the smell of lavender and tea tree into your routine. 
✰ Last Quarter Moon - Remove yourself from your burdens by engaging your mind with relaxing activities. This would be a good time to sit within nature. Read a book, watch one of your favorite tv shows or movies. Journal about recent frustrations so you can get them off your chest. Practice forgiveness for yourself and for others. Burn an indigo candle and incorporate the smell of peppermint and eucalyptus into your routine. 
✰ Waning Crescent Moon - Prepare yourself a comfort meal and draw a hot bath. Stretch your body and practice breathing exercises. Give yourself a massage or ask someone else to give you one. Focus on what you are drawn to as well as the desires that are developed while in a state of relaxation, try to write them down. Burn a purple candle and incorporate the smell of frankincense, sage, and lavender. 
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lilacstro · 21 days
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Astro Observations pt 2
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1.If you have sun conjunct ascendant//sun in 10th house, people might really see who you really are or your real personality maybe visible to people you choose to interact with.
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2. People who's sun and mercury match, they more than most of the time, say what they really mean
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3. People who have Sag sun/stellium usually have a strong liking for some kind of mainstream media, like kpop? football? bollywood?
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4. The sign of your fifth house can influence how you like spending your leisure time. Example:
Capricorn 5th house might like cleaning as a form of relaxing or spending their free time
Leo 5th house might want entertainment or hanging out with a group of friends, social circles
Gemini 5th house might like scrolling the internet or talking about their favourite shows and dramas
Pisces 5th house might like day dreaming or doodling or creative working
Libra 5th house might put make up on just because, or doing a whole self care routine
Taurus 5th house might just lay in bed and sleep? lol maybe cook something or play some instrument if they please.
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5. Jupiter is said to expand. People who may have sun conjunct Jupiter may have huge sense of self or awareness of identity, which is really good in a world where people try to tell you who you are. However, this needs to be checked so it does not turn into a huge ego
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6. Sagittarius women could really like dancing
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7. 8th house stellium could deal with sleep paralysis or insomnia or some kind of mental health related problem at some point in their life for sure
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8. 12th house stelliums could really like day dreaming a lot
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9. Most Libra people I have met are usually already well liked regardless of anything. and the ones that aren't, really care about being liked by people.
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10. Speaking of this, most libra placements, esp suns, may really be gossiped about or do gossips.
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11. Sagittarius placements (sun and rising esp) always have something going on with their teeth. Its either crooked, it may have had an injury and even if its perfect, they might be a little insecure about it at least for a brief period in their life
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12. Neptune in 7th house could mean the native has kind of like imaginary ideals about their partner. It could also be that they "like the idea of someone more than the person" or straight up like imaginary characters as ideals
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13. Sag mercury women usually are very vocal. May advocate for things like unequal rights, feminism, maybe the first one to speak. tbh sag mercuries overall are the types to take part in global challenges and really take time out to think about it seriously.
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14. Sun in 8th house is a mysterious placement. Sun in 8th house won't reveal themselves to you. To be fairly honest, growing up their personality goes through a lot of transformation before they finally get to even know themselves and who they are. They could also be very introspective if not self aware
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15. while Moon in 8th house natives are usually said that they won't reveal their true emotions, I'd say that's subjective since they are actually "aware" of their feelings on a deep level. This depends on the sign and degree of the moon imo. However, they may instead absolutely illusion you into thinking "you know everything about them" lol. Also, they could eventually get very emotionally intelligent in their lives with time. They may also never fully reveal their past to someone.
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16. Moon in 8th house can have two moods. I know this will happen. See this happened. OR I know EXACTLY why this did not happen lol. Very intuitive.
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17. Moon in Gemini degrees can indicate being able to verbalize and intellectualize emotions better than most people. While Moon in Aquarius or Capricorn may suggest otherwise.
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18. Idk how but most Aquarius people I have seen have either of these two things. Being extremely different than most people (in a good or bad way) in some way or the other, a different thinking than most. OR, being really really good with Internet related stuff, like maybe freelance? Digital Media? Social Media?
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19. Venus/Sun/Moon in virgos will get you the small thing you mentioned in a random seemingly unimportant conversation for your birthday gift.
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20. A placement that makes me think of "attractive personality" is Venus in harmonious aspects with mercury.
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21. Mars in 5th house/1st house are said to be automatically physically active or athletic. While this maybe true, mars or any other planet at a weak degree or Mars in Earth signs may not manifest that way, even though it may seem otherwise.
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22. I think mercury in 11th house is an OG placement for over thinkers or the people who are thinking how would it feel to get married while riding the car/train and looking outside, or being constantly in their head the second they woke up.
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23. " I am so stupid in love"- Pisces, Cancer placements.
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24. Neptune in 3rd/11th house placements could have a social media or chronically online addiction.
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25. Sun in 1st house in SR can indicate getting a sense of identity and purpose and moreover finding yourself again
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26. Uranus in 12th house in SR can indicate a change/transformation in old belief systems and thoughts
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Well, I am thinking of making proper dedicated posts now instead of random notes like that. What suggestions do you have? I would loveee to know.
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leovenuslatina · 1 month
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BÉSAME
──★ ˙ ̟🍷 !!
THIS READING IS 18+ MDNI !!!!!
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧⋆ ˚。⋆
what you do that turns your FS on?
🔮
₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊this is just a reminder that tarot isn’t permanent or set in stone YOU decide how your life goes no one or nothing else now take a deep breath and choose the pile that calls to you ₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊˚⊹
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pile one - six of wands , queen of cups
🍀
you’re like really popular and that turns your FS on that you don’t mind being the center of attention and how many people love you make them love you that much more. you’re everyone’s favorite person including your FS. your FS loves how much you are true to yourself and how authentically you. what turns them on is how everyone wants you but he’s the only one that can have you 😏. you radiate high self esteem and how good you feel about yourself makes them feel that much better about themselves. what turns them on is how caring you are and how when i’m bed together you are very skillful in attuning life to his needs. you’re someone who is nurturing and healing to be around and a master with your hands for some reason your touch is like hypnotic to him you can literally make him do anything you want just by one look or touch. what turns him on is how well you take care of yourself yes you nurture and care for those around you but you but even more or just as much care into yourself and that’s really sexy to your FS because you give like a blueprint for how he can come in and take care of you.
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pile two - the world , page of wands
🌍
what you do that turns your FS on is how adventurous you are like you’ll literally try anything with them 😜 if you know you know ;)you’re seriously down for whatever when it comes to freak town w your FS lol he loves how you’ll throw out kinky ideas for the two of you to try and do in the bedroom. he’ll be really turned on when you buy books or send him articles about different sexual positions or just things to try to spice up y’all’s sex life. the two of you might also send freaky vids back and forth to each other like what you want to do to each other because you guys are just kinky freaks(in a good way ofc). one or both of you might be extremely hyper sexual and like will literally try to hump each other anywhere the two of you are i’m talking parties, events , bars , clubs you literally don’t care. but it turns your FS on how much you’re all over him and how much you not only tell him but SHOW him how attracted to him you are. your FS loves what a bubbly person you are and how you’re always moving and going and how impulsive you are being with you is literally a huge thrill for your FS.
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pile three - knight of swords, page of pentacles
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to turn on your FS you are very very bold ! when you want him you go for him whenever kissing him all over even peeling off clothes like you deadass don’t care even if you’re in front of people you don’t care ! you’re the type of pda couple that makes everyone else uncomfortable 🤭 (in a good way tho) he loves what a go getter you are . you may even be a little spicy and feisty and your FS finds that very hot you don’t put up with any bullshit and when you have an attitude he’s very turned on lmao. you’ll never do what you don’t want to and you know exactly what you want and that’s exactly what you get no matter what. your FS truly admires that you’re kinda stubborn and headstrong you are. you’re very quick moving and you go for things that most people might find impossible but you dgaf. i’m seeing this relationship between the two of you might also have gone fast because of you not being afraid to take things to the next level with your FS and they really appreciate you taking the lead on that. another thing that turns them on is your luxurious aesthetic and being with you feels like being on a vacation. you always look so pretty and taken care of and relaxed and he loves that about you.
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💘 for paid private readings dm me 💘
1 question - $15
2 questions - $20
3 questions - $30
long channeled message - $90
plzzz no questions about health or death ☠️
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luvjunie · 1 year
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Hey sweetie, I’ve been a real big fan. Can you write some HCS or a fic about the both Miles being twins?
a/n: ABSOLUTELY 10000% YES. i had way too much fun with this oml. and omg thank you you’re so sweet! 😭 btw, let’s just pretend that in this au they don’t have the same name since they’re ‘twins’ lmao
— headcanons. miles and miles as twins
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Twins? Yes. Polar opposites? Definitely.
They both have a completely different sense of style, but one thing they have in common is that they both love Jordan’s. However I feel like miles!42 is a full blown sneakerhead. Has the better collection and often finds miles!1610 wearing his shoes, because somehow 42 always manages to win the snkrs raffles.
“Are those my brand new fuckin’ 4s?” “Uh… no?” “Take my shit off before I tweak out.”
42 keeps his side of the room squeaky clean, gets upset if there’s even a sock that does not belong to him on his side
Absolutely hates the song Sunflower. Cannot stand it, makes him wanna rip his hair out. The minute it came out 1610 played it into the dirt and 42 swears he can still hear it in his dreams till this day
1610 is the more affectionate one (outwardly) while 42 likes to pretend he’s completely devoid of that as if he doesn’t love his brother with everything in him.
“You got exactly three seconds to get off me.” “Just hug me back, damn!”
They’re the kind of brothers to open soundcloud, turn on a random trap beat and see who can go the longest freestyling. They do that thing where guys bring their fist to their mouths and squeal and shove each other out of excitement when they get a good flow going back and forth
42 is definitely the athletic type, plays football and soccer. 1610 is more in tune with his artistic side. Will play sports for fun but doesn’t care for them like that
42 is introverted as hell, doesn’t really like talking to people. 1610 is more of a social butterfly
They’ve never once liked the same girl. Ever. Their taste is drastically different
“Bro, you like a white girl?” “…Yes? What does her race have to do with anything?” “See me personally—“. “Literally nobody fucking asked.”
Used to help each other break out of their cribs when they were babies. Either that or Jeff and Rio would wake up to find that 42 had climbed into 1610’s crib after they’d been put down and slept with him instead. it was impossible to keep them apart from each other, so eventually they just broke down the second crib and let them use the one.
You can tell who is who in their baby pictures. You guessed it, 42 was the oddly solemn one who always wanted to play by himself. They worried about him for a bit. They also had to tickle him as an attempt to get him to smile in pictures, and just their luck, he’s never been ticklish
When they were eight years old, 1610 accidentally broke the wolverine action figure 42 never went anywhere without, and 42 cried about it for three days straight
They definitely ask for each other’s opinions on their outfits
“Do you think this shirt goes with these pants?” “The entire outfit is black… how would it not go together?”
They both obviously love their mother but 42 is the biggest mama’s boy. Always in the kitchen helping her cook, will watch her telenovelas with her and actually keep up with the plot. He’ll willingly follow her to the grocery store or accompany her on her ridiculously long Ross/Tjmaxx sprees because he likes hanging out with her
They terrorize the fuck outta their dad and have been doing so since they entered this world because they think it’s funny. Stupid shit like dying his boxers pink, or looking up a cracked tv screen video on youtube just to watch him nearly have a heart attack thinking they broke it. They used to twin-swap when they were younger to get out of certain things, but it’s 100% impossible to pull off now. They’re way too different, physically and mentally
Uncle Aaron took 42 to get his ears pierced when he was thirteen, something 1610 would never do. Rio basically had an aneurysm when he came home with them in and Jeff was not pleased but Aaron took the blame for it, said it was his idea. 42 made up some bullshit lie about how if he takes them out before they heal completely they’ll get infected. Still has them in till this day
42 is exactly fourteen minutes older and refuses to let 1610 hear the end of it, but 1610 is taller by an inch and weighs a little more.
“I don’t know why you’re talking shit like I’m not older than you. Pipe down lil’ bro.” “Sorry, is someone talking to me right now? Cause I sure as hell can’t see ‘em.” “Nigga it’s ONE INCH”
They’re definitely scrapping over that, and both get smacked upside their heads by Mama Rio for fighting with each other
42 needs the tv and the fan on, SIMULTANEOUSLY when he sleeps or he’ll be up the entire night. 1610 can’t stand it
1610 will try and turn the fan off after his brother’s been asleep for probably two hours, thinking he’s in the clear until he hears—
“Do you value your life? Turn my damn fan back on.”
Deep down 42 is a big ass softie and loves spending time with 1610, he has no idea what he’d do without him. He’s just not the best at expressing it. 1610 teases him about it simply because he enjoys aggravating his other half
“You still got plans with Ganke tonight?” “Nah, his mom’s dragging him to some baby shower.” “Oh, cool, cool… So what movie are we watching?” “Huh?” “Huh—Headass. What movie are we watching tonight?” “Sorry, I’m not understanding. Are you—asking to spend time… with me?” “Damn, I need to say it in Spanish? Matter fact, you probably won’t understand that either. No sabo ass.”
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harmoonix · 10 months
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Healing Energy - Astro Observations
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🤍🤍🤍 - Your safe space - 🤍🤍🤍
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🤍 Venus - Chiron aspects can show healing towards relationship and love partners, you can end up loving them but they don't with you
🤍 Moon in harsh aspects with Venus can have a really struggle with feelings love, is like a blockage to them to feel love and to feel like they are loved by someone
🤍 Moon in harsh aspects with Saturn can struggle with letting their feelings out, and how to express them in a way they wished they could
🤍 Lilith aspecting Moon could had a painful childhood and usually problems with their mothers, in a way they seek for mother love but they can't understand it in the same way
🤍 Moon in Scorpio/Capricorn shows an struggle with emotions, is like they always try to seem strong and like nothing can stop them but only they know what happens behind the close doors
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🤍 Saturn aspecting Sun could indicate a leaving parent. Or a parent who wasn't that active in natives live and they could've had to suffer because of it (Because these natives tend to be colder when you first met them)
🤍 Because the 8th house is the 8th house death, 8th house placements can have a different type of showing their grief when something like that happens to them they can go into a lot of moods (especially numb)
🤍 Virgo/Aquarius Moons can have childhood traumas that indicates perfectionism issues, like they always felt like they aren't perfect enough or like they aren't good enough (You are good and worthy never forget that❤️🤍)
🤍 Moon in the 7th house/Libra can tend to have this "people pleaser" kind of vibe if they don't pay enough attention to who they share their love. Not everyone deserves your unique grace dear 🤍
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🤍 Cancer Moons/Moon in the 4th house might be the most attached to their mothers, like really loving them to death. They are giving so much " bambie " Disney movie vibe 😭🤍
🤍 Chiron aspecting Moon can deal with not feeling anything and just being cold at that times, is like they cannot feal their own feelings and always trying to be better and to understand them
🤍 Ascendant - Chiron aspects can tend to judge themselves a lot or just to criticize themselves if something goes wrong (Please don't do that you are perfect in every way possible)
🤍 Taurus/Libra/Pisces in their 4th house might be very attached to their families and sometimes they can even be very sensbile around this topic (Your love will always be there ❤️🤍)
🤍 I can't tell you how protective mothers with Cancer/Capricorn/Aries placements are over their kids, they are giving everything to them and everything goes around their kids
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🤍 An Scorpio Placements Mother will go through and back if something happens with their kids, they are very protective and lovely with their kids
🤍 Sun/Saturn/Moon in the 12th house may cause detachement issues from their families, of course every reason is different from person to person, they are just trying to protect themselves
🤍 Moon in the 10th house may over-share things that happened to them or things that affects them in a way to make others aware of what they are doing to them (you deserve all the love ❤️🤍)
🤍 Pluto - Moon aspects can get deeply affected by the things that happen around them, it can be an event or it can be a situation but they will always remember it
🤍 Chiron in the 1st/4th/6th/8th and 12th house always gave me purity vibes, all the people I met with these placements were the kindest people ever who had so much love in them
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🤍 Devoted Mothers/Fathers with 5th house placements/Leo placements will do everything for their family and kids, is giving so much "As long as I am alive, nothing will happen to you"
🤍 Aphrodite (1388) in Leo/5th house, you can get very attached to kids or vice versa, the kids feel safe around you and they see you like their mother 😭🤍❤️)
🤍 Aphrodite (1388) in Cancer/4th house, can be extremely attached to their families, their family is everything for them and is their safe space when they have it low 😭❤️)
🤍 Asteroid Demeter (1180) - Moon aspects must be the most kindest souls ever, they are pure of love for everyone and they are ready to share it
🤍 Sometimes everything someone with an Capricorn/Aquarius Sun\Moon/Rising is a hug, they have been through a lot and they just want to feel at home
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🤍 "I just want to feel like I mean something to you" gives highly Pluto - Venus aspects vibes, they love too intense and sometimes too blindly and it can end with pain ❤️😭)
🤍 Sometimes it happens for parents to give away some of their placements to their kids (For example you and your mother having the same moon sign or something close together in your chart) When you are birth something from your parents like their footprint is given to you in your chart
🤍 Neptune in the 1st/4th/12th house try to constantly heal spiritually from the bad things that happened in their lives, but that may come with a lot of challenges aswell
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🤍 Neptune in aspects with Venus can go blindly in love without knowing the other person's true intentions and it can end up with them being hurt at the end (Make sure to trust everything around you before doing any decisions 😭❤️)
🤍 Mars - Chiron aspects can have a bad temper sometimes, they can be getting angry too fast and completely forget about the next person who's around them (This is because their angry feelings never felt safe)
🤍 Sagittarius Placements can get too overwhelmed and kind of sad if they are not around the people they love, in a way they will always need someone close by their side
🤍 Lilith Virgo/Lilith in the 6th house can feel like their efforts are never appreciated, they are constantly trying to work on themselves and to be better for the people they love but somehow they end up not appreciated
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🤍 North Node in the 7th house in your Chiron PC (persona chart) shows that at some point an relationship or an partner will make you realizing something that will help you heal with the time
🤍 Chiron aspecting South Node could indicate suffering/pain from your past life currently coming into you curent life because it could happen for you to not recognize what kind of pain you had and how to heal it
🤍 3rd house placements (esp Sun/Moon or Venus) can have an special bounding with their siblings and they can share a lot of things in common
🤍 Saturn/Capricorn in the 3rd house on the other can indicate to have older siblings/ or being the oldest in the family and often helping and supporting your siblings
🤍 North Node in Cancer Degrees (4°, 16°, 28°) their life lessons could be creating an good household for them to live and to bound with the people they love
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- The Promised Flower 🌼
☁️ Good day dear darlings today is the day where we need some apply some healing energy mood around, it can be every type of healing based on what kind of things you need to heal ☁️
☁️ Healing it can be refreshing but sometimes it can happen to be painful aswell, just let your soul heal and put some good music to relax and think about what hurts you ☁️ try to work it out so the pain will be gone ☁️
🌼 The photos are taken from a beautiful manga/anime called Maquia (When the promised flower blooms) ATTENTION: Is an highly emotional anime for those who are sensitive 🌼
🌼☁️ Wish you all a good day and good vibes around you, aswell as warm and light energy ☁️ May everyone who is reading their notes to have a good blessed energy 🌼☁️
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- Harm🌼🌼nix
1K notes · View notes
bridgetoesoteria · 3 months
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💌💟Realistically...What would they write in a love letter to you?
Surpriseee bish! Here is my double post as puh-romised. Its spring break, I aced my midterm, I had a nice lil chit chat with my crush where I high key let on to having feelings . *ahem* Now I wanna smoke and pull cards with my internet besties <3
So, I don't like those mushy-gushy readings that tell you the most ideal outcome, not the most realistic outcome. I am hoping to channel an authentic "letter," from the person you are here for.
Options are left to right. I hope it resonates 🥰
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Pile 1
4-card spread: Page of Swords, Girl w/ Violin, Strength, The Sun. BOTD: 3 of Swords
I just want to see you happy. I hope you know that. I miss the feeling of you holding me. I think about all the times, I got to hold your hands in mine. I think you are amazing and angelic. If I ever seem difficult, or like I am pushing you away, its just because I don't want to hurt you even worse. You're the whole package. You can shine with or without me.
If there is still bad blood, I will make it right. At least that's what I think about doing. All the time. Can I step up? Can I really have my happy ending; The car, the house, the family, building a life together. I need to get over my cold feet, because the only person I see is you.
P.S.
I love your eyes. I love how much hope I feel when I look into them. I love your hair, especially the length/thickness. I love how balanced you are, and how you can consider different points of view. It has taught me to be more compassionate. It has taught me to care about someone other than myself. You show me that I can get over my demons. We could be a power couple.
(If you have a "butt chin," your person loves this too lol)
Pile 2
4-card spread: 8 of Swords, 9 of Swords(R), 9 of Wands, The Star. BOTD: The Emperor
This person is definitely very attracted to you, but we are here for a love letter, mkay? Not a sext.
I don't know why you are acting like you don't want me anymore. You better not be giving away my ____ to anyone else. I want to be with you. I consider us to be a couple, no matter what happens. If you question where my head is at, my loyalty is with you. I don't want to see you with anyone else. I hate thinking about you being out there, living like you're single. I think about us having kids, animals, a family life. (If you already have kids they want to keep the family together).
I am working on my temptations. I know I need to be more responsible and I am willing to do that. I want to try having self-control. If that means cutting other people off, or waiting until you are comfortable being physical, I will do that. I respect your boundaries. You have every right to have them. I know you are just trying to love yourself. You should always stand your ground...even with me.
P.S.
You have a beautiful heart. You are so nurturing. You keep everything flowing. You completely fulfill me. You are more than enough. You definitely know what you are doing. I wouldn't have taken you for a "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" type.
Right now, you probably are focusing on yourself. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for. After pouring into everyone else so much, I hope you will start pouring into you now. I hope you will be receptive to all the good things you deserve.
Pile 3
4-card spread: Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, Page of Cups, The Empress. BOTD: Justice
I can't figure you out. And its...amazing! It keeps everything so fresh. Maybe you don't feel like you are being mysterious but you are. I want to know what goes on "behind-the scene." I don't mean that in a pervy way. I mean, I want to know who you are, where you come from, what is currently going on in your life. I want to make the cut. Do you ever think about what your favorite diamond cut is? 💎
(Where ever your connection is, move up a step. This is not a literal proposal for everyone)
I want us to be on track. If I have to apologize, I will do that. I want to finally start something new. I want to make you feel like the king/queen that you are. I want us to be happy together. Especially if we are expecting 🤰
P.S.
Can I just brag on you really quick? I love your face shape. I love when we lock eyes. I love how you style your hair, even if I have never said so aloud. Even if I tease you about it sometimes. Its cute and so you. Everyone says we (would) go well together, and I have to agree. We could be our town's MGK and Megan Fox 🤣🤣
On a more serious point, you make me want to do better. Internally, I always feel challenged by you. I have my old beliefs, and then there's you. You make me want to throw out all the BS I believe about myself and start valuing myself more. I see how magical life can be, because I see how many miracles happen when we are together. I know I can do better.
Pile 4 4-card spread: 8 of Wands, 10 of Wands, The Emperor, 8 of Swords. BOTD: Ace of Swords.
(Your person could actually be the type to spill their feelings over texts or in the notes section of their phone)
I think about saying this all the time. I build up the courage to start typing, but I can never hit send. I just feel this lump in my throat. I'm a man! (or they are just someone who suppresses their emotions). I shouldn't have all these feelings. I feel overwhelmed by my attraction, my thoughts, my unexpressed feelings.
That's kind of what I grew up with. It was normal. People call it "traditional." I always thought (one of their parents, but I am really getting mom) could do better. Why are you still with them? I don't want that to be you. I don't want that to be our story. You always carry yourself well. I'm proud to be with you. I know you're a catch. I know you are the full package. I can't let you go. Please reconsider. I want to be with you.
P.S.
I hope you're getting rest. Don't lose sleep over me. Which is hypocritical, because I stay up thinking about you. Don't be scared...but I may have watched you sleep. I like how peaceful you look. I feel like I have privacy to fully process my emotions. I look at your face and I think about all the possibilities. It makes me nervous. If I have made a proposal of some kind, maybe to reconcile, I hope you sleep on it before you make a decision.
Pile 5 4-card spread: King of Cups, 4 of Swords, 9 of Wands, The Sun. BOTD: 8 of Swords
I think a lot of you are asking about a feminine energy, but flip the roles if needed. You could be the feminine energy being described, so maybe they want you to know you are "seen". It just started raining, so that makes me feel like this person is definitely more on the feminine side, or in touch with their emotions. You could both be young, or they're younger, or someone has a baby face.
I think about you all the time. Even when I am sad. I don't know if you know how much I struggle. My mental health isn't always in the best place. But you take my mind off of everything. I love when you look deep in thought. I come up with all these random ideas about what you could be thinking of. If you are away getting better, overcoming an ED, I hope you are being strong. I look forward to seeing you again.
You make me so happy. I miss being playful and messing with you. I could see us having babies. I think I would be a great mom/dad. But I know that's daydreaming and wishful thinking. I don't always understand your moods or what you want from me. Could you make it clear without it becoming an argument. I don't want to make you upset.
P.S.
You are soo pretty. I think your haircut really compliments your face. I love your side profile too. You are so smart. You know so much about the world around you or you are always willing to learn. I am impressed by your writing and/or creativity. I love everything about you. If I were an artist, I would make a portrait of you. You would be my muse. I just want you to know how special you are. You are 1 of 1 forreal. I am so grateful to have ever met you. You bring so much joy to my life.
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Whew. GD! That was a lot lol. This took me two days. I am going to relax and enjoy the start of Spring Break. Whoop whoop 🙌
And don't laugh at me...but I just discovered archives so I might stop updating my masterlist, since you can find all my readings there too.
Lastly, I am also doing personals if you have not heard! Take a gander.
~ K
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adhbabey · 10 months
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Let's talk about some lesser known symptoms of autism! Maybe this will help some of you get a broader perspective on what this can be like. There is a whole grab bag of symptoms of autism, but here are some ones you may not know that you have.
Focus on truth
What does this mean? Well glad you asked. This is the focus on facts and logic rather than anything else. People have shown this as autistic people may refusing to lie because it goes against what they find as true. But that's not always the case.
Have you ever used logic to try and figure out your emotions?
Are you someone who doesn't understand why others may speculate when the current knowledge is right there? (such as subtext versus canon knowledge or theoretical arguments)
Do you find it frustrating when others avoid their problems as a way to avoid figuring out negative things? (such as avoiding conflict in a friend group)
Is it easy for you to talk about your strengths and flaws? Do you know your likes, dislikes and limits pretty well?
High context communication
This is preference on details and the full context of any situation. Often going into great detail and backstory to anything.
Do you feel as though you need to overexplain to give the person everything they need to know?
Have you ever apologized to someone by explaining the deep and meaningful reasons of why you did it, before you said you were sorry? And maybe even felt upset or confused why they reacted badly?
Have you ever felt stressed out because you wanted to give others full detail but they either interrupted you or cut you off?
Are you stressed out by people who tell you what to do and not why they want you to do it?
Are you ever told that you talk back a lot?
Do you prefer recipes versus verbal/vague instructions? (All the things that you need such as ingredients, measurements, prep time, etc.)
Do you really like watching deep dives and knowing about the whole history of something you're even vaguely interested in?
Identity diffusion
This is not everyone's experience, and it is common in a variety of other disorders such as DID and BPD. However, it is when you do not know who you are in regards to others. This is also known as identity disturbance.
Have you ever felt like an outsider without knowing why?
Are you deeply interested on what other people think of you? Especially if it's all the time?
Do you really like taking personality tests and quizzes? Are you interested in horoscopes?
Do you feel like you don't fit in any one specific group? Either being a loner, or hopping in between many different groups?
Do you ever feel weirder than the "weird kids" group? Do you not really get along or feel like you belong with them?
Do you have low self esteem when it comes to comparing yourself to your friends? Do you feel like they're better or more capable than you?
Do you feel drastically unimportant and not as interesting or cool as everyone else?
Have you ever related to narratives surrounding a character that is the last of their kind?
Do you feel like your identity is a vast and gaping void, that even if you learn a little bit, that you'll never know everything?
Internalized repetition
This is one of those traits that not every autistic person experiences, but that some might. You could say that for all autistic traits, but hey, good to know regardless. Because of internalized repetition, you may not do many external stims, besides vocal.
Do you listen to a song over and over again? Perhaps having a playlist on repeat?
When stressed out, do you type the same word or phrase over and over again?
Do you like looking at the same things, such as the same color or the same artist's works?
Do you really like certain patterns, crystals or aesthetics?
Do you enjoy games with recognizable fighting patterns? (Such as character rotation, boss battle rotation, etc.)
Struggling to connect to others *
This is something that's been characterized by struggling to connect to others through their emotions, but the opposite is actually true for many autistic people. *I will be talking about those who struggle to connect to others who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Being emotionally distant or not showing emotions externally is a trait that many autistic people share, but for those without alexithymia, they may struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't like to talk about their emotions. I don't know the specific symptom term for this, so please bare with me. If anyone would like to inform me about what this is called, please tell me.
Do you struggle to talk with dry texters, or tend to over-examine people's tone through text?
Do you have anxious attachment?
Do you feel disconnected with many other autistic people and struggle to make friends or talk to them?
Do you feel embarrassment or shame with being emotionally sensitive?
Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of things like starseeds, star children or empaths?
Do you want to talk about serious emotions a lot, even when its not appropriate?
Do you trauma dump or wish people would become more emotionally intimate with you? Do you enjoy it when people share their deep traumas with you, even if it's triggering?
Are you constantly reassurance seeking?
There is plenty more symptoms out there, and these are just a few that stood out to me, because I think I may be autistic. I've always related somewhat, but never connected the dots. But there are reasons for that, such as identity diffusion and thinking I'm different from everyone else no matter what. I struggled because I didn't seem to have a lot of the outward and visible symptoms that were often talked about. I thought every autistic person had alexithymia, when that's just not true. My best friend, who has similar symptoms to me, along with another close friend of mine, have a similar presentation of autism. And it's taken quite a bit for me to accept or process. I feel like I'm faking my experiences just because I've self diagnosed before. And I'm angry that ADHD isn't given enough significance.
But I think I might be autistic, and this article that I based this post off of, confirmed it. So here's my post informing and coming out on that. You can be autistic and highly masking without actually knowing what's going on is masking. You can be autistic and have a spectrum of verbality, you can be autistic and struggle to connect to anyone who isn't immediately emotionally intimate with you. You can be autistic and not relate at all to other autistic people.
You're not alone.
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mead-iocre · 5 months
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Our New Normal | Leah Williamson x Reader
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Our New Normal (1/4)
“Okay girls. We’re starting in a bit. Everyone ready? 
You force your eyes away from the grinning blonde beside you, trying to smother your grin underneath your palm. It was media day and you were currently sat beside your teammate, best mate, and girlfriend– Leah. That was normal. These days, the social media team often choose to partner the both of you together for content because of the “natural chemistry” you both have; plus, the fans seem to echo the same thoughts– the proof lies in the large amount of views the videos of you two would get on the team’s Youtube channel. To those outside of the team, and your friends and family, most people only know the two of you to be really (really) good friends who happen to play for the same team. Those close to you know that the two of you have been dating for a little over a year now. 
You and Leah had first met playing for the England U17 team, instantly clicking and forming a friendship that was tested when you both ended up signing for different clubs. Leah signed her first senior contract with Arsenal; meanwhile, you had chosen to stick with the club that had offered you the best contract as a promising young talent– Manchester United. This meant that for a while, the only chance to meet up with the Arsenal defender was during match days where your teams played against each other, or during England camp. Memories of swapping roommate arrangements so you could room together, and early morning walks to catch the sunrise are some of your most treasured memories till this day. It was hard to say goodbye to the blonde after international break was over, but as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. 
And that was very true in this case. 
In between late night conversations and good morning texts, and the frequent weekend getaways from Manchester to London whenever either of you had time to spare outside of football, it was hard not to fall for her.
You always knew athletes were your type– your childhood crushes were David Beckham and Marta– but it still surprised you when you came to the glaring realisation that you were in love with your best friend. There was a lot to love about her– from her calm and collected demeanour, her ability to make you laugh, the way she seems so wise beyond her years, her passion for the sport, and the way that she just gets you. Hand on your heart, you could wholeheartedly swear that no one else in this world understands you better than Leah.
That was why when your agent told you that Arsenal had put in an offer for your transfer that coming season, you did not hesitate to express your own interest in joining the club. Not only was Arsenal a dream club for a lot of other players considering it’s rich history in success in women’s footballl, but Leah was there too.
And speaking of Leah, you were adamant that Leah was not to know about your potential transfer to Arsenal. You did not want to risk disappointing the blonde if things did not work out the way you wanted them to. After all, football is unpredictable. 
A few weeks into the transfer window and you were already patting yourself on the back for how tight-lipped you’ve been about your next club– with offers coming from Chelsea and Lyon coming in and creating buzz on social media amongst fans and football journalists. Leah knew that your contract was up this summer, and being the nosy person that she is, she has been pestering and trying to get you to spill where you’ll be heading next. Not a day goes by where Leah isn’t slyly bringing up your transfer into one of your conversations.  
——————————————
“Twitter says you’ll be going to Lyon” You roll your eyes at the blonde in front of you. As usual, you had decided to spend your pre-season break in London, mainly to see Leah, but also so you and your agent can meet with a couple of people at Arsenal to further negotiate your potential transfer in person– which Leah obviously does not know about. 
You bring your mug up to your lips, hoping to hide the grin that was forming on your lips. Leah has recently started bringing up the transfer rumours that were making their rounds on social media, and every time you tried to brush them off, the blonde would grumble and moan about how you rude it was that you were keeping her in the dark. 
You came into town late last night and slept over in the guest room at Leah’s flat. She proudly pointed out the new dresser she bought a few weeks ago and told you that you can start leaving some of your clothes and stuff inside so that when you come over next time, you won’t have to bring so much. 
For a moment, you were worried she knew about the transfer. But then again, that was just Leah– thoughtful, sweet Leah. 
“Didn’t know Twitter was my agent now” You send her a cheeky smile over the rim of your coffee mug. Leah narrowed her eyes at you at your obvious attempt to ignore the real question. She reached up to adjust the grey beanie warming her head from the slight chill outside, fidgeting around to make sure her freshly cut bangs were still neatly tucked underneath the beanie. 
“So where are these rumours coming from then?” You watched her scowl down at her mug, avoiding your eyes, and instead picking at the brown napkin sitting by her saucer. She scrunched the napkin in her fist tightly, before smoothing it out again on the table with both her palms. She was nervous, you can tell. You wouldn’t have heard the next bit if she had said it any quieter. “Lyon is too far. don’t want you to be so far”
You put your mug down back and place your palm on top of Leah’s. It’s moments like this where you want to share the news of your potential transfer to her club, but you would hate to break her heart if it doesn't even up going through. You didn’t want to get her hopes up for nothing. You notice her palm is a bit cold so you inch forward in your seat, closer to the blonde in front of you, and hold her hand in both of yours. You rub and squeeze her hand, playfully bending down to blow warm air onto them, hoping to share some warmth with her. She gives you a small grin in return, keeping her hand snug in yours. 
“I can promise you, Lee, I’m not going to Lyon. I want to stay in the WSL” 
“I don’t understand why you won’t just tell me” Leah was stubborn, you knew this, but sometimes it astounds you just how determined she is to get her way.
“Because there is nothing to tell yet, Lee” You give her hands another rub, your thumb tracing the lines of her palm. Her hands were a lot warmer now thanks to them being cocooned in your own. “Louis said we are getting offers but we want to take our time and make the right choice– you know how he is about the transfer business.”
Maybe it’s the way she’s looking at you, or maybe it’s the way her hand fits nicely in yours, but you want to give her something that can ease her mind a bit. “I heard a few London clubs are interested and have put offers down…“ 
You were obviously talking about Arsenal, but the blonde didn’t know that. 
“Oh fuck off. It’s true then– Chelsea?” You wince slightly at the sudden increase in volume in her voice. From the corner of your eye you see a few customers turn their heads towards your table, probably cursing you both for ruining the peace and quiet inside the coffee shop. Leah attempts to tug her hand free from your grasp, but you don’t let her. “Shush, Lee. You’re being too bloody loud–” 
“Yeah well sorry about that, I just heard my best mate might be going to our biggest club rival”
You squeeze her hand in warning again when her voice continues to go beyond what was sociably acceptable on an early Sunday morning in a quiet cafe. Pretty blue eyes meet yours, eyebrows furrowed, lips slightly parted, ready to argue back against whatever comes next; the slight wrinkle in the middle of her forehead just begging to be smoothed out by your thumb, so you do exactly that. “stop frowning, Lee. Your whole face will get wrinkly” 
She moves her face away from your touch, annoyance clearly written all over her face. You can tell she was up to her limit with how secretive you were being because it’s never been like this between the two of you– you usually tell each other everything.
“Nah think ‘bout what I’d look like if you signed for Chelsea then! I wouldn’t even want to look at you anymore”
You frown at that. Ouch. You snatch your wrist out from her hold. “You don’t mean that–“
She must’ve seen the hurt on your face, because her gaze immediately softens and she shifts forward in her seat. “No, no of course not, baby”  
That was normal.
Leah was the kind of person who had nicknames for everyone close to her. It wasn’t unusual for her to slip in a term of endearment here and there, although you were certain it was purely platonic. That doesn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat every time you hear it directed at you.
Leah reaches out, grabs one of your hands and intertwines your fingers together. Her hands aren’t as cold anymore and they feel nice against your own. This is normal too. Leah might not seem like it to others, but she can be incredibly affectionate– or least with you she is. She loves to randomly grab your hand and hold it in hers during walks, she always wants to share your blanket during movie nights even if there are other blankets, she’ll tug you over so you can sit on her lap– saying something about “so there’s space for others to sit, baby”– and she’ll always kiss your cheek hello and goodbye. 
With the hand that’s not currently occupied with your own, she reaches out and gently nudges your chin up so your eyes meet. “Hey. I always want to see you. I was only jokin” 
She grins and winks at you before she continues with a sight pout on her lips. “I just really don’t want to see you in blue”
“Oi! I’d look good in blue, Williamson” You proclaim a little too loudly, jolting in your seat. You were far too caught up in your conversation with Leah to realise that this time it was you who was disrupting the quiet, even almost spilling your mug of coffee over from where it sits by your arm in the process. Leah notices and immediately goes to move your mug further away from you– just in case. 
“I know you already look good in blue, baby. Any shade of blue really. Just not Chelsea Blue”
——————————————
It’s weeks later, and the deal has finally been made. You were going to be a Gunner. Just like Leah. You had made another trip down to London, this time without seeing Leah, so you can shoot and film content for the announcement to go up on social media. Although there were a few reports online that listed Arsenal as a potential club for your next move, it was always overshadowed by fans and journalists wholeheartedly believing that you were off to Lyon all thanks to your agent’s cheeky media “leaks”. Once Leah caught wind of Arsenal’s interest in you, she apparently started pestering Jonas if there was any truth behind it. Luckily, you managed to convince him to play along with your secret and keep her in the dark. But that will all change soon. 
You spent a few hours at the Emirates taking photos with your new red and white kit, filming your first interview as a Gunner, and filming a few shorter videos for tiktok. Now that it’s official, the only thing going through your head was how you will tell your best friend. Obviously, you wanted to tell her before the rest of the world found out, but you didn’t know how. Eventually you decided that the simpler, the better. Although it’s a special occasion– the mere idea of being in the same team with Leah for both club and country is exciting– but it’s not a proposal or anything, so you don’t know why you were overthinking this. 
It only has to be you and Leah. That would be enough. 
(Pt. 2 coming soon!)
Our New Normal Pt. 2
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my first fic on this site. pls be nice :)
-- kisses, butter.
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