#because then first responders can spend their time and energy helping people who DON'T have the means or ability to evac

[manicpixiefelix]

Currently thinking about Felix Catton working a regular job just because.

Him working at Build-A-Bear 🧸🧸🧸

Felix in his gap year (shhh I know he doesn't really take one just pretend) asking his parents if he can get a casual job because he saw it on TV.

Felix who is so removed from middle-to-lower-class reality that he can romanticise the idea of a fresh-out-of-high-school teen having a job.

Felix whose parents reluctantly let him get a job at Build-A-Bear because his first choice was being a life guard, and they love him very much but don't want him liable for people's lives.

Felix who absolutely adores working at Build-A-Bear and is actually very good at it.

Felix who gets along with all of the kids who come in, and he makes all of the Building/Stuffing/Naming ceremonies for each of the kids, and can seem to tell if the kids would respond best to it being goofy, heartfelt, or if the kid might be trying to act a little bit too cool for it. Felix is naturally very good with kids I will die on this hill.

Felix who is completely oblivious to the sudden spike of teenage sisters bringing their younger siblings in.

Felix being completely oblivious to the little fanclub that he has, mostly of girls in their early teens who spend their weekends at the mall and will walk past the shop several times a day if he's in.

Felix radiating the absolute sweetest, goofiest big brother energy literally not even realising that half the girls who come into the store have a crush on him.

But also Felix who quietly gets very excited to dress the bears up to put them on display in the window.

Felix who made Venetia a bear and not only dressed it up, but gave her a few different little bear outfits. She rolled her eyes and reminded him she's twenty, but she still keeps the bear sitting on her bed every day, and sometimes he'll look in and she's changed it's little outfit.

Felix whose energy and love and joy is felt by everyone who comes into the shop because he lives to see the way each kid's faces light up when they finally get to hug their teddy at the end.

Felix working to bring kids joy and/or help them in some way is something I hold very close to my heart. I love this concept. I kind of want to draw it.

[sharpth1ng]

Hihihi sharp, sharpie, sharp guy, sharps disposal! Silly sharp man, I sent an ask for writing tips not too long ago, and I am yet again asking. Nay, BEGGING 🙏. If you have. Any writing tips. On Stu’s character. Ouhg. What’s your thought process on writing him?

Anything helps/nfta

If I mischaracterize him I will cry, broski. Jelp.

This is a little late but maybe it will still be helpful.

The way I see Stu hes someone that copes with positivity and humor. If someone he cares about is upset his first instinct is to make a fool of himself to distract them. He's an extremely social person because he finds people entertaining, even though he cares for relatively few of them.

I dont consider him a psychopath but think that relative to the general population he has high levels of cognitive empathy and lower levels of emotional empathy. This means that he's good at understanding people, and because he can understand them he can manipulate them, but he doesn't necessarily feel for them.

For example he's bummed to lose Tatum because he enjoyed spending time with her but he doesn't experience deep grief after her death. The emotional empathy he does experience is extremely selective, and most of it is directed toward Billy.

Put this all together and you have someone who is extremely socially capable. He knows how to fit in and get what he wants out of people. A lack of emotional empathy means he doesn't experience much guilt or shame. Guilt and shame are social emotions, to feel them you have to care what people think of you and how you affect them, and Stu mostly doesn't.

All of that said, Stu has the capacity for emotional empathy, he isn't neurologically incapable of it. I see this as something that kind of atrophied or got shut down through a combination of societal privilege and parental neglect.

The dark side of all that social energy and a history of neglect is that he still craves attention and affection, but he knows better than to just fully be himself around most people. If he did that he wouldn't be able to pass as normal, so thats where Billy comes in.

Similar to the way that Stu is special to Billy because he's the only person who really knows how fucked up he is, it's the same for Stu. Billy is the only person thats safe for Stu to fully let loose with, the only person fully capable of giving Stu the attention and affection he craves.

In that way they're pretty co-dependent, and Stu specifically isn't even trying to hide that dependence. Some people decide from a young age that they're going to be an astronaut or a doctor, and then they devote everything to that until they get it. Stu decided from a young age that he was going to be by Billy's side, however he was allowed. For the most part Billy is his first priority.

I think the paradox of childhood neglect is that you want attention and care but you don't actually know how to be cared for, and it can feel a lot more comfortable to care for someone else than to let them care for you. In some ways Stu can focus on Billy because it's more comfortable than focusing on himself. He understands Billy and I think he enjoys the special relationship he has with him. Even before they're romantically involved he knows that Billy gives him a kind of attention he doesn't give anyone else and that feels incredible.

So that's kind of the way I see his emotional motivation and internal psychological state, that's what I use to figure out how he would respond to various events in my writing.

In terms of his dialogue and internal voice he's jokey, he sees and delights in the absurdity of situations he's in. He uses a lot more slang than Billy and will choose silly turns of phrase just to make people laugh and because he thinks they're funny. He's a fairly sensory person but not as much as Billy, and he's a lot better at identifying his own emotions than Billy. Billy will describe emotional reactions in terms of their physical correlates (eg instead of saying he's embarrassed he'll say he feels sick and his face is getting hot) whereas Stu is often able to just identify that those things mean embarrassment.

Again in contrast to Billy he prioritizes pleasure and joy regardless of what that might mean about him. As a result he's not likely to spend much time in denial about his experiences and he mostly doesn't bother to make excuses to himself about the things he desires. He's pretty brave, he's willing to sacrifice a lot for what he wants and he's ok with a little bit of suffering, even if it's not the kind of suffering that turns him on.

Alright theres your Stuart essay 😭 i hope you find it helpful!

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Character development in HB

(and why it doesn't really happen)

I think another reason why the characters of HB feel flat/underdeveloped is because there are a lot of the same revelations made time and time again, without any real progession. It seems as if the writers assume that writing a character arc is just doing the same stuff just more extreme.

Loona realized that she should appreciate Blitzø more two times already (three times if you count "Spring Broken"). In the Beelzebub episode she cares for him when he got drunk after trying to pick her up from the party. In "Seeing Stars" she tells Octavia that their dads might be annoying sometimes, but they care very deeply actually. We also get some insight into how Blitzø first adopted Loona in "Seeing Stars", when she was in a state of needing someone who takes care of her. Despite all these moments were Blitzø showed great care for her (including "Spring Broken") and despite the moments where she realizes she should be nicer to him, we never see a definitive change in her behaviour. Her helping to take out the C.H.E.R.U.B could be counted as having a new attitude towards her dad, but Millie and Moxxie also followed him, so it's not an exclusive decision she made. And if her not wanting her dad to die is a new trait of hers, then I don't know what I should think of her character to begin with.

Octavia has the exact same conversation about her relationship with her dad twice. In "LooLoo Land" she finds out that Stolas cares more than she realized and that adult relationships are more complicated than she expected. In "Seeing stars" Loona and her talk about how Stolas loves her a lot more than he is able to show. Octavias character is stale and there is never a new conclusion she draws from these experiences.

In another way, Stolas realizes that his daughter feels neglected and he wants to be more present for her, yet after that we never see him spend more time with her and after a few episodes she feels neglected once again.

We get to see some insight into Millies character in "Unhappy Campers". We see that she is pretty insecure in her own worth and needs approval. In some of the leaks for the unreleased ghost episode, Millie apparently is going to try to commit suicide because she feels useless and has insecurities. We get the same revelations for her, just that the second time it's way more intense. But despite this intensity, these deep feelings Millie has never come up until the show sees them as "relevant" (keep in mind this part with Millie is only based on the leaks I saw, take this one with a grain of salt maybe).

In the newest episode Stolas realizes that Blitzø isn't really interested in a deeper relationship with him. Blitzø tells him off, just as he did in "Ozzies" with Stolas coming to a pretty similar conclusion after Blitzø told him off and didn't take the offer to hang out in a non sexual context. He and Blitzø also text, which we see in "Western Energy". Stolas tells Blitzø that he doesn't have to show up to their annual meeting or that they can meet up for other, not sexual stuff. Blitzø never responds enthusiastically or like he is genuinely interested in getting to know Stolas. Stolas has found out that Blitzø isn't really interested in him beyond the deal multiple times. Yet in the newest episode, he acts shocked and saddened, as if this is something he just found out about.

I know that character development takes time and it's not realistic for people to immediately change after having one revelation about their behaviour. In HB however, the character arcs feel like they turn on and off however the show needs them to.

Loona is abusive, annoyed and cynical when the show wants to be funny (that's pretty much the only joke she has). When the show wants to tackle her seriously she becomes a scared, closed off, but still able to be genuine person who realizes that she needs to be better. They want her to become better but they also never let her fully go through with trying to change. Octavia is never seen on screen until the show wants to present Stolas as a better dad than he seems. So she can't progress because then, her whole purpose as a character (as it is now) is defeated. Millie is a seriously insecure person needing of approval in scenarios where they want to have conflict with Moxxie (or make her seem more deep ig) but in other instances we can't see her insecurity, because she also needs to fullfill her purpose of being Moxxies hypewoman and full support. Stolas wants to dial back his sexual side towards Blitzø to make him realize he isn't just interested in their deal. He wants them to be genuine and says himself, that he doesn't like just making their relationship sexual. He makes sexual remarks towards Blitzø in "Seeing Stars" and doesn't show restraint in talking about him sexually in "Western Energy".

The characters feel like they loop around and don't develop because a lot of them are just acting how the plot needs them to act in a specific scenario. That's either because they never get real focus that would help adequately deal with their stuff, or that it's pretty clear that they weren't written with the intention of having big arcs/deeper motivations.

I think the biggest development any character had throughout HB is Stolas realizing he wants more out of his and Blitzø's relationship (even though that came very suddenly) and Fizzarolli and Blitzø becoming friends again (which was also kinda rushed but it's fine). Blitzø in general is one of the better written characters in the show in my opinion and he has some nice moments amd interesting interactions.

Also, @wolfscarr has a three part set of posts talking about the problems with HBs narrative, wasted relationships and opportunities. It's really thorough and makes interesting points about the broken narrative of HB. I'll put the link to the first part right here if you wanna check it out.

[fluorescentadolescent1]

❝𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙮𝙖❞

Nanami Kento x f!reader.

:What else can a person do with their life, if they believe that the person they love does not love them back, or do they?

warnings: a little anguish, mahito, reader's traumatic adolescence etc.

2018.October 31

You shouldn't be here, you should be far away in Malaysia drinking wine and relaxing. But being a jujutsu sorcerer, you didn't know peace.

Your ears hurt from the noise around you, your head felt like it was going to explode and the blood in your nose wouldn't stop- everything felt so familiar, the desperation, the fear, the taste of death on your tongue.

Using your expansion domain had really tired you out but at least you were able to help, now you just needed to find your husband.

Your husband, the father of your daughter, your best friend, your partner, your Kento.

Running through the rubble, you heard Itadori Yuuji scream and your heart stopped for a moment.

Everything felt so familiar, suddenly 28 years of your life began to flash before your eyes.

10 years before the Shibuya Incident.

2006. November 5

Spending your time with Shoko Ieiri was more common than unusual, you were almost always a group of four with your two male friends, but you and Shoko simply completed each other.

"Oi Y/N, are you listening to me?"

Sitting on the patio stairs, you watched the two idiots who were your second-year friends and the two young first-years. But your gaze remained on one in specific.

"Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts" you murmured, looking away, Shoko raised one of her eyebrows and pointed her lollipop at you.

"In your thoughts or in the first year? I didn't think you liked people younger than you."

You rolled your eyes, it was useless to deny Shoko anything, you knew each other like the back of your hand.

" He's cute, I'll give you that, it's kinda serious but I think it's because I'm used to Gojo's immaturity." You joked, making Shoko laugh, a throat clearing made you turn around, it was Yaga-sensei.

You both jumped to your feet quickly, you were supposed to be training with the rest.

"Ladies, I'll pretend I didn't see you. Y/n, i will wait for you and Nanami in the classroom in 15 minutes. Don't be late" Yaga said walking towards said place, Shoko and you sighed, you were saved from a scolding.

Shoko nudged you and smiled mischievously, "Looks like he got you a date."

You rolled your eyes and sighed, it was going to be a long day.

Yaga assigned you a mission, quite easy really, you assumed he was testing Nanami's abilities. Usually the first years had fairly quiet missions, so you assumed you were just there in case things got out of your control.

"I'm sorry you were assigned to me. I know that you are more advanced than me, after all, you are a special grade." Nanami murmured, surprising you, the entire trip to the desolate forest he hadn't said much.

You smiled and shook your head, you continued moving forward, being attentive, "Don't worry Nanami, a mission is never completely easy, it's always useful to have extra experience."

Nanami didn't say anything, he just stared at you. You were very kind and precious in his eyes, but he couldn't help but assume that your feelings belonged to someone else.

""So tell me, would you have preferred to come with someone else?" you asked turning around, you felt the cursed energy emanating from many sides but you couldn't know for sure, being close to Nanami really distracted you.

The first year just denied, he was about to respond but out of nowhere a cursed spirit appeared climbing a tree and attacking you.

Honestly, you could use your cursed technique and it would all be over soon, but you decided to let Nanami act.

Nanami quickly pushed you to the ground, preventing the spirit from hurting you, he took out his cursed object and activated his technique, managing to hurt the spirit but not fatally as it managed to dodge the blow a little.

"Good job Nanami! Finish it now" you exclaimed, standing up from the ground smiling.

Nanami couldn't help but feel a little euphoria knowing that he was able to protect you, he followed your orders and this time he didn't miss the precision blow that killed the spirit.

You ran towards him and hugged him tightly, you were excited to see the confidence in his fight and you let yourself be carried away by the emotion. Nanami tensed for a moment making you release him.

"Sorry Nanami, the euphoria of the moment, but you did very well!"

Nanami again just nodded and followed you back to the car. As he watched you walk in front of him and talk about what you wanted to eat for dinner, he touched his cheeks as he felt them hot.

He assumed it was just because of the fight.

Months later, Nanami learned that he hated seeing you cry. He never thought that a mission with Gojo and Geto could go wrong, but that damn mission ruined everything.

Haibara and Nanami watched as the three of you arrived with a serious and cold countenance, but Nanami could only watch you. Haibara stopped to talk to Geto but you kept going, not bothering to talk to them.

You were heading to your room, the whole mission was a disaster. Riko's death, seeing Gojo "dead" on the ground full of insects on him, Geto's fury, a guy didn't hesitate to stab you in the stomach.

If Geto didn't find you on the ground bleeding, it was almost certain that you would die.

You were barely 17 years old, everything felt very unreal, all the scenes were playing in your head, tears filled your eyes.

You couldn't help but relive the smell of Gojo's blood, the sharp pain in your stomach, how the light faded from Geto's eyes after seeing Riko dead.

You crouched down with your head in your hands and began to hyperventilate, you heard footsteps behind you and activated your cursed technique in paranoia, if you had done it last time, maybe it would have been more useful.

Your cursed technique could alter the mobility of any being, with the condition that they became slower and you became faster, the weaker they were the better, the stronger they were it cost you a little more.

Nanami stayed still, he didn't want to upset you any more than you already were. Upon recognizing him you deactivated your technique.

"I'm sorry"

Nanami's words were silent, you wouldn't have known he spoke them if you weren't looking at his face. Your face was full of your tears, the pain evident in your eyes, and your silence scared him.

Usually between the two of you, you were always the one who brought up topics of conversation and it didn't bother you that he didn't talk much so when he didn't hear a response from you, he approached slowly, careful not to scare you.

You closed your eyes as you felt the heat of his body surround you, you rested your head on his chest and cried harder. Nanami just held you tighter to him, it really hurt him to see your broken spirit.

"I was so scared Nanami, seeing the one who is supposed to be the strongest so hurt and miserable, it made me believe that I would have no more chance to live. Then the damn son of a bitch hurt me, from one moment to the next I was lying on the ground."

Nanami nodded and was a little stung by your comment about Gojo, he understood your crying as fear of losing him.

"I'm so sorry y/n, you're too young to have experienced that. But you said it yourself, every mission is an experience, and you will be stronger now."

Nanami's words calmed you a little, he grabbed your face in his hands and wiped the tears from your cheeks, "Better?"

You looked at him for a moment, and the temptation to kiss him was great, but not enough, "A little, thank you, Nanami."

Nanami hugged you again and you didn't need him to tell you anything else, in his hug he communicated many things.

The main one was "you are not alone"

You realized that you also hated seeing Nanami Kento cry.

After Riko's incident, you became much closer, Nanami getting along more and more with you. You didn't know whether to blame it on Haibara's personality rubbing off on him or it was simply because he liked you.

You were in your room reading when Shoko entered your room pale and agitated from running to you, you closed your book and looked at her with concern, you knew that the first years had gone on a mission.

'It's Haibara, he..." Shoko couldn't finish the sentence and bit her lips, you got up and hugged her, feeling her sob, Haibara Yu was a very warm person and his loss was felt between you.

You couldn't help but ask about Nanami, Shoko smiled wiping her eyes, "He's fine, he's in the morgue with Geto, go see him, im sure he needs to talk."

You made sure Shoko was okay, leaving a kiss on her cheek you ran to the morgue, when you arrived you saw Nanami Kento close the door behind him.

Your heavy breathing caught his attention and he turned to look at you, you noticed his red eyes.

"Nanami, I'm so sorry, Shoko already informed me."

You approached and Nanami looked away so you stopped, you noticed his face was serious as always but this time you felt hostility towards you.

"I'm so sorry Nanami, he didn't deserve that, Shoko told me that Gojo finished the mission, it should have been a mission for us, not you."

Your words made Nanami look mocking, he rolled his eyes and looked at you coldly, "You're right. It was supposed to be an easy mission but it wasn't, maybe if your stupid boyfriend acted when he was supposed to do it, he would still be alive"

It was evident that Nanami was saying those words to hurt you, you understood that each person had a grieving process, but you were not going to let him crush your feelings.

"First of all, I don't know what boyfriend you're talking about. Second, missions are supposed to be assigned according to rank, it's not my fault you guys weren't up to the task."

You were being unfair, and you knew it. But your feelings were hurt, you supposed you had to do the same.

Nanami approached you and looked you straight in the eyes, you didn't feel scared because you knew he would never hurt you, "Don't stand here and talk about survive to a mission when you experienced the exact same thing, you survived that mission thanks to Geto according to you. You're no better than us y/n, we're all trying to survive here."

With those words you saw him walk away from you, and this time you didn't follow him.

2007. April 24

You lasted exactly five months without speaking to Nanami, and he didn't do anything to speak to you either. You were both very stubborn, but you were still his weakness.

You were again on the stairs that led to the patio, you bit your lips waiting for news from Geto, according to what someone reported, he had massacred a village and even murdered his own parents.

You couldn't understand that your sweet friend could have done something so cruel and inhumane. Gojo had called and announced that officially, Geto Suguru has deserted.

Your friend Suguru, who told you to confess your feelings to Nanami, who let you comb his hair, who was such a good person.

You didn't understand.

A few steps made you turn in another direction, wiping the tears from your face, you were tired of people seeing you cry. That someone sat next to you and you were silent. You didn't need to look to know who it was.

"I guess you already know. 112 deaths were reported in the village he visited" you bit your lips and nodded, you had nothing to say.

""I'm sorry for what I said to you that day, it was inappropriate and you didn't deserve that."

You honestly didn't have the head to process Nanami's apology, you just nodded again and looked to the side.

"It's okay, we're fine, I'm also sorry for reacting like that, I had to be more understanding."

Nanami didn't say anything else, he just grabbed one of your hands and held it, startling you. You had forgotten that he was already more trusting with you, making you blush.

You looked at him and knew that a question that needed to be spoken rested on his tongue.

Nanami opened his mouth but a voice and footsteps silenced him.

"And what is this supposed to be? Don't tell me Nanamin that you proposed a date to y/n."

Gojo Satoru stood tall in front of them with a mocking smile, next to him was a boy with a serious face.

You didn't understand how he of all people could be so well off.

"Now you also kidnap children?That's low even for you" you said releasing Nanami and standing up to approach the boy.

"Oh yn-chan, don't say those things in front of Megumi-chan, you'll leave him with a bad impression of me."

"Don't worry, I already have it"

You laughed and Gojo gasped indignantly.

The blonde also stood up and had a grim face, he didn't appreciate Gojo's arrival.

He supposed it was for the best that you didn't know about his feelings, after all, you even had your little family without him.

2009. February 18

At twenty years old, life had a bittersweet taste. You were still a sorcerer, you helped Gojo raise the son of the man who gave them immense trauma.

God knows that Fushiguro Megumi had no sin, he was a stubborn and sweet child, he needed help in life. And also Gojo.

But you knew that you weren't Geto's replacement.

You and Shoko were still as close as ever, except now she was working as a doctor and you were still going on missions.

It had been a year since you had seen Nanami, he had left the world of jujutsu and you understood his reasons.

You know well that Haibara's death hit him deep, like everyone else, and you heard from Gojo that he now works in an office, how pathetic.

It was an ordinary and bright day, rarely you didn't have a mission but Gojo did, so he asked you if you could take care of Megumi and his sweet sister Tsumiki.

The children were in their respective classes, so you decided to stop by a bakery to buy sweets. Their school was close to the central area, thanks to the money Gojo spent on them. You had to admit, Gojo really tried for those kids.

You entered and a girl helped you, it was the first time you were there on Gojo's recommendation. The girl was very sweet and friendly, she reminded you of people from the past.

When you were about to pay the bell at the door announced a new buyer, the girl greeted him with familiarity, curiosity got the better of you and you turned around.

You were surprised. Nanami Kento had definitely grown in a year, he was taller and his once thin body was now more muscular, you liked it.

Feeling your gaze, you noticed how his eyes were surprised and you smiled. Some things remain the same.

"Well well, but who do we have here? the second deserter" You joked, elbowing him, up close you could notice how wide he became.

Nanami shook his head and adjusted his tie, feeling nervous out of nowhere, "I've never seen you here. Only Gojo, do you do his shopping now too?"

Ok Nanami didn't want to sound so bitter, the comment slipped out and you could tell his regret so you let it go.

"Actually, I buy for the children, today I take care of them" You said paying, you waited for him to finish his purchase watching the girl's smile towards him and you couldn't help but frown.

You both left the store and stood there, once again your curiosity got the better of you, "So, do you come here often for the sweets or for the girl?"

Nanami was surprised to hear your question, were you jealous of him? It doesn't make sense, after all you were the one who got engaged to someone else.

"If you must know, both."

You nodded, smiling with an undeniable ardor in your heart. You couldn't blame him for moving on with his life, after all, everyone had.

'That's good, I see you moved on from your past life quickly" your comment shouldn't have sounded like that either, it just did, but Nanami didn't let it go.

The blonde man approached you with a frown, this time you couldn't help but feel intimidated by his large figure.

"Which past life? Y/n, i remember all the days, all the missions, all the pain. They took our adolescence from us." You bit the inside of your cheek, and Nanami continued, "You can't blame me for trying to build a new life when you did it first."

Nanami turned to leave but this time you didn't let him, you went around him and stood in front of him. "What the hell are you talking about? Explain yourself"

Nanami snorted and crossed his arms, he looked kind of funny with a baguette in his arms, "You know what I'm talking about."

If there is any god who gives you patience, why were you going to kill this man.

"Stop talking shit and explain yourself, you always do this, say something and walk away. Not this time, tell me what you mean" you said getting closer to him and Nanami didn't back away.

Nanami set his jaw and let out a stressed sigh, "Oh you don't know what I'm talking about, of course. You've cried for Gojo Satoru all your life, you were the one who now has a family with him. You never even considered me and now that I'm moving on and forgetting you, you decide to judge me for it. It's not fair."

You were speechless, you always had the sneaking suspicion that Nanami thought you liked one of your friends, but you never believed that the idiot was capable of thinking that.

"Nanami Kento, you are an idiot."

Nanami was ready to respond, but your lips on his silenced him. Surprised, it took him a second to respond to the kiss, but he quickly followed it, showing how much he wanted you.

""Wait, I can't do this, Gojo is an idiot but he doesn't deserve this."

You couldn't help but laugh, "I never liked Gojo, I always liked you. And I adore the children, but our relationship with Gojo is strictly about them. Our friendship and Shoko's is the last thing we have left, I don't like him. nor me to him"

Those words were a cool summer breeze for him, this time Nanami hugged you, lifting you off the ground, making you laugh.

You separated from him a little and asked about the girl at the bakery.

""I helped her free herself from a curse, her spirit reminds me of him."

You understood who he was talking about and you smiled sadly, hugging him again.

His hug communicated many things. This time he said, "Please be mine."

2017. December 18

Peace reigned in your comfortable home, you were preparing homemade dough to receive your husband with pizza.

Your 3-year-old daughter was sleeping soundly in her room, every so often you checked on her on the monitor that your controlling husband needed. You have to admit that it also helps you do things around the house.

You are still a jujutsu sorcerer, only now you worked more as a teacher since d/n was born.

You usually spent your mornings with the students, d/n in kindergarten or sometimes accompanied you, and your husband worked until it was time to pick her up.

Your husband. It had been 5 years since you got married and it still tickled you to call him that.

In 2013, after being together for 4 years, he surprised you with an romantic dinner and asked you to marry him. The wedding was also very intimate , only the people close to you.

In 2014 you received your little daughter, who was an identical copy of your husband. Everything seemed to have finally fallen into place, you were happy and lived as peacefully as you could.

You smiled, lost in your thoughts, so much so that you didn't feel arms surround your waist, startling you. Behind you, your husband laughed.

"Don't worry, love, I didn't want to scare you." Nanami Kento placed a tickling kiss on your neck, "Is everything okay?"

You sighed contently into his arms, "Yes, I'm sorry, I got lost in my head."

Nanami nodded and went to check on d/n who was starting to wake up. You turned off the pan with your sauce and followed him.

In your daughter's room, there were plenty of toys courtesy of her uncle Gojo and her aunt Shoko, both of them always took care of her on the days when you and Nanami went out to eat.

You opened the door slowly and found your husband with your daughter in his arms, she was always a daddy's girl, and you wouldn't change it for the world.

"How did you behave with mom, honey, okay?" d/n nodded smiling and Nanami left a kiss on her cheek making her explode with laughter, "Of course you behaved well, if you're an angel."

You laughed, denying, making your presence known, d/n saw you and stretched out her arms for you to pick her up, to which you agreed, "An angel who already broke his uncle's third pair of sunglasses"

Kento laughed, "Gojo is literally rich, his only expense is Fushiguro but that kid doesn't bother him"

"Uncle Gojo!! He promised he would bring cookies" D/n said, remembering her uncle's promise.

You and Nanami looked at each other disapprovingly, it was inevitable that Gojo secretly gave the little girl sweets, thousands of times you scolded him for it but he never learns.

"How about after dinner, you finish all your vegetables and I'll see if I can find something sweet for you, how does that sound?" Nanami knew that d/n would never pass up an opportunity like that, he laughed when he saw her celebrating with you.

He approached and hugged them. Something you shared with your daughter was a love for Nanami Kento's hugs.

He placed a kiss on your foreheads and smiled, looking at you warmly, "Thank you."

2018. June 16

Shoko Ieri loved playing with your daughter, she always said that she was very smart for her age, now that she was 4 years old she was more perceptive and you suspected that she could already feel the cursed energy.

You were in Shoko's office until you received a call from Nanami, worrying you since it was work hours.

"Hi baby, everything okay?"

"Gojo called me, offered me a job again."

You talked to him about it many times, but he never wanted to come back. You always knew that the office bored him to death and that his heart was in Jujutsu, so you assumed that Gojo Satoru also perceived the same.

"Well, I don't know what to say, you left me speechless" there was no response from the other side, "Listen Kento, I will support you in whatever you decide. Do what makes you happy, you are an excellent sorcerer and a good person. These children could use a little of your stoic character."

Even on the phone you could feel the smile forming on his lips.

"Thank you my love, we will talk at home. I hope everything turns out well."

2018. October 31

Hearing Itadori's scream was like seeing Gojo lying on the ground again, blood pouring out of his body.

You were quite far away but you could see well.

Nanami Kento, with half of his body burned, without an eye, looked towards where Itadori was, in front of him was Mahito touching him.

The tears were stuck without coming out, you saw Nanami's lips move towards Itadori and your heart crushed.

And what you feared most happened.

You saw it all in the front row, blood splashing, his body destroying itself under Mahito's command.

This time you didn't scream, nor did your tears come out, you were already tired of crying.

Your soul was on fire and there was no one to quench the hatred you felt inside you. Was this what Geto once felt?

You stood still before the scene, you heard Itadori scream again and that was when without realizing it you began to move forward.

Mahito saw you coming after Itadori and smiled macabrely, as if he was proud of what he had done.

"Itadori"

The boy turned around and you could see that the scene had also affected him, you felt his body tremble with anger.

""Together" you announced and the young man nodded with determination, both began to run towards the curse that awaited for you with a smile.

You really didn't know what you were going to tell your daughter, or if Gojo had a plan to stop this madness, or if you were even going to come out alive.

You just knew that you weren't going to let your husband die in vain.

And after finishing Mahito, you were going to travel with d/n to Malaysia.

n/a: I hope you like it, I'm going to make a version for Geto and Toji for sure.

[vyl3tpwny]

parasocial2, or, the complications of my social anxiety + growing self + motivation & stress management amidst all these things.

a while ago i wrote on here about parasocial relationships and things of the sort. it was an unorganized ramble, and so this will be also.

Growing Self

something i have to live with is that in my past, i have been an excruciatingly unbearable, egomaniacal cunt. honestly i still have anger issues sometimes. and a lot of the time i take everything EXTREMELY personally. but at least i understand these things about myself better now.

i have a hard time pushing people away or giving space to myself because sometimes i feel like i owe everyone my personal space. like i don't deserve personal space because of how much of a massive bitch i've been; the baggage i've created for myself and the pain i've inflicted on other ppl means that i should have to sell my personal space out to everyone and anyone who asks for it, avoiding risk of being seen as an asshole for pushing people away and asking for space alone.

and yet i find it hard to do anything sometimes. i will wake up to 400 notifications of people asking me high executive or personal questions, needing my help or opinion with something, trying to show me something that i don't have the energy to respond to, and stuff. because of this thing i am and live with, i continue to feel like i have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out something meaningful to say. it takes so much time and willpower and by the end of it i just don't feel like doing anything anymore. it kills my ability to work or go do things or go outside or talk to anyone i actually want to talk to.

it sucks. because there are (a.) a handful of people i could probably talk to every day and it's fine; there are maybe like 15-20 people who fit this category. there is another (b.) sect of people, a very large amount of people, who i can handle speaking to occasionally. then there are (c.) people who i don't know, don't want to know, or used to know. i've labeled them accordingly.

B.

with the people in group ".b", ppl i can only rlly talk to occasionally, it's hard because usually these people are friends or acquaintances and i enjoy the company of sometimes and i can find something to talk about with sometimes. however, usually i do not have the energy to talk to them. i often have a status indicator on my discord, for example, stating that i only want to speak to people i have business with or are very close friends. people in group ".b" tend to be the first and most frequent trespassers of this request. it's very hard to disengage with these conversations or messages because i don't want to hurt their feelings, and it's not like i dislike these people. but a very very very VERY large percentage of people i think don't actually understand how i am.

i have always been someone who values being alone. of course, i couldn't live in isolation i think. but i've always valued just being by myself. i go out most places alone and i will often not participate in any social activity for days, weeks at a time. i think the best when i'm alone and i usually start thinking the most creatively when i'm alone.

so to people in group ".b", it's hard to really establish: "I want to be alone most of the time, don't talk to me", without it seeming like a negative thing. it's not that i don't care or that i dislike these people. i just get overwhelmed and sensory overload easily. and when i'm waking up to over a hundred messages, i don't feel extremely motivated to find the energy. i find it hard to ask for that, especially because of how it can be perceived negatively in light of how toxic i have been in the past as well. idk.

C.

but then there are people in group ".c". people i don't know. people i don't want to know. and people i used to know. that's kind of broad. but they all feel the same to me. this is where it's less about social anxiety and more about perceiving the parasocial construct in front of me.

something i struggle with, among all other things, is why? why constantly vie for the attention of someone who doesn't want to talk to you. what joy is there in seeking a one-sided relationship? it confuses me profoundly. if i speak to someone and they don't return the same enthusiasm or level of interaction, i just leave them alone after that. i'm not going to try and be friends with someone who has other things to do and other friends to be with. so why is it that it feels constantly like there are people who want to call me their 'friend' and want to seek out a connection with me when i'm not reciprocating that in any way. i especially don't feel like the most unique, interesting person in the world. if i'm not interested in connecting, i'm sure there are way more interesting people than me to even talk to. so why does it have to be me? i'm just a person.

anyway. it gets very difficult to disengage with people in group ".c". again, part of it is because i'm overly aware of how i can come across, especially given my past toxicity. however, with these people it gets much more complicated. often i find that the people who form parasocial interests in me also happen to be people who a predisposition to hurt themselves and sometimes those around them. i still struggle with the trauma of someone who faked their suicide and blamed me for just not talking to them even though i didn't know them at all. so not only do i feel the need to delicately balance not upsetting people in group ".c" because they may guilt trip me over what i've grown out of, i'm also afraid of them hurting themselves or hurting other people.

to the people who aren't in the extreme ends of that. it's still difficult because a lot of the times i will openly express my social (or lack thereof) needs very transparently. and they will still continue to try and reach me. i don't really know what else to do, because if i block them it will seem so much more drastic and upsetting, because the people in this group tend to not want to think in any neutral or balanced sense.

there are people who i have ignored the messages of for quite literally several years. and they will still message me consistently as if unreciprocated message 70 is going to prompt me to finally respond.

There is No Middle Horse

I do everything. I write, compose, arrange, perform (vocals and instruments), produce, mix, and master all of my music.

I do all my management. There is nobody who manages for me.

I do all of the utility work that comes with being a public musician entity.

There is no middle horse.

And I will not compromise that just to solve these parasocial and social anxiety issues.

still i feel the need to either deal with or humour every whim of people in group ".b" and group ".c", just to avoid coming off as an asshole and to avoid people hurting themselves and others. i don't really know how to solve this honestly. other than just ignoring people or communicating my needs openly, i don't see any other route.

the fact remains that i have been a cunt in the past. i have been extremely toxic and caustic. therefore, i see that part of myself when i consider blocking someone or desiring to make my needs clear and my boundaries transparent. dunno.

i'm extremely tired. and my energy is sucked out by people in groups ".b" and ".c". to the point where i never get to hang out with people in groups ".a" much anymore, the people i really really want to be around and talk to. i want to have energy to actually talk to my friends. but i don't. i'm busy selling my soul i think.

i am slightly antisocial. but mostly i'm tired and like being on my own.

honestly i'd like to know what other people think. and i am in therapy for this and many other things now. but it helps to know what other people think anyway.

sorry this sucks!

[consolecadet]

big complaining. please do not give me advice on any of this unless 1) we already talk AND 2) you get my consent first

Virtually everything for me right now is in some state of "it is terrible rn but I just need to hold on for a few more weeks/months" and it just. I don't have a lot of grip strength with which to hold on rn.

My tennis elbow hurts more since I started OT, or perhaps I am just more aware of it. Either way it's really bothering me and making me sad

I recently developed eczema or something like that, because of course I did, and the second I stopped steroid cream it came back just as itchy and weepy, despite aggressive moisturizing. I cannot see a dermatologist until November but I have vague hope in the form of a different steroid cream I may try in one week

The three-day low-residue diet my dietician had me try backfired horribly after I stopped it and now I'm even more scared to eat, like, beans and/or onions

I have been having trouble accessing medical supplies that I can technically get by without but really shouldn't. Dealing with it requires making tons of phone calls and/or driving to a bunch of different pharmacies, something I have no time or energy to do rn

I'm in a BMW situation and cannot resume trying to sell it until it is resolved, though it's not a big deal because I am borrowing my sister's car and will buy it from her once I have sold the BMW

Reviewing KC's edits to Latent Defects is tiring and emotionally challenging (though I'm way less upset and dramatic about it than I thought it would be)

I keep spiraling about things like the election, genocide, and the climate

Covid cases have once again risen in my area and I am nervous about that because I've socialized a lot IRL recently and don't know if I was careful enough

I agreed to do an art project with a friend that I think will be really cool, but am worried will hurt my forearm too much and/or cause extra stress which I have little capacity for rn

I am having trouble keeping in touch with friends bc the first thing to go when I get stressed is The Ability to Message People. I also have a newish local friend who messages me a lot more than I am used to and I'm worried I'm making him feel sad and uncared for bc I am so slow to respond and don't message him first very often

KC's summer break is about to end, which means I am about to start having to get up earlier, which realistically means I am going to lose a lot of sleep while I once again struggle to adjust. Also means I'm gonna spend a lot more time driving again

The project I am managing is a MESS, we pushed the launch back, and I feel like it's my fault for 1) not knowing how to manage a project, 2) not asking for nearly enough help, and 3) being kind of mentally absent due to being itchy, in pain, and very cranky for basically the whole project. Though tbf multiple of my coworkers have been sick for chunks of it and also not able to pitch in as much as we expected. Also once we launch, then I have to help manage an online community, which, yikes

I would like a raise to offset the gigantic medical bills I seem to get stuck with every year, but I also fucked up something else at work recently, the one account I managed fired us, and worse yet I absolutely know that the company I work for is barely scraping by and cannot afford to give me a raise regardless of whether my boss wants to. I should probably look for another job but 1) I like these people 2) I have no energy or time rn and 3) much fewer companies are fully remote these days and I cannot physically handle commuting and working in an office

yeah

[thirdeyeblue]

Hey I just read your recent post The one about the fandom hyper fixation and then your entry in the tags. And I'm not sure if this helps anything, But I feel like it needs to be said, I am so sorry that you are feeling under confident right now, and I hope dearly and truly that it's just a dark cloud overhead. Because I'm someone who does not know you personally, I am truly disheartened to hear you're having a rough time with something you love You spend time and energy and emotions writing these fics for free—not only just you but dozens of authors in this specific fandom we call doctor who— and it must be rough seeing the discourse, (I'm only assuming it's about the purpose of a reprose if I'm wrong just ignore this little rant. That I honestly find a bit annoying because if you don't like the fic do to the ship, back out. If you do, don't use it as an excuse to be toxic and harsh. It's petty and childish.) And the campaign falling through (quite frankly I wish I could punch whoever made Ninex"the doctor's wife" a "canonical" thing, I find the actual shipname a curse in this house and you know who I mean. Like even if you couldn't get Billie back, Just make cool Nine adventures! Also tell us what the heck Mia comes from, I love it I do, but context!) and anything else you might be going through personally. I'm sorry that you're not exactly feeling the motivation right that you use too.

I hope that you know however long this break last, you're an amazing writer and more than likely there is someone jumping into this fandom who—like me— fell in love with tentoo based on your Fics. Even if it might not seem like much books like your brighten up someone's day, and that's one of the best things you can do in the world. Make someone happy. So take your time, ride this wave out, and I hope you have something out there brightening up your life like to do ours!

Jesus, I'm sorry that I'm only just now responding to this lovely ask! It's been buried beneath someone else's novel-length piece of nonsense I've neglected to read for ages/only just now got around to deleting.

I actually quite needed to see something like this today, so even though you sent it months ago, it's serendipitous to have found it again now!

(See below for my long af reply-turned-diary-entry, I'm sorry—I just drank a C4 Smart Energy and my brain is a-going)

I appreciate you for reaching out with all of this love! It's difficult to concentrate when you're already not particularly kind to yourself, but I'm trying—and good god, stuff like this is so helpful.

I'm also so honored and happy to have changed your opinion of Tentoo AND to have brightened up your life in ANY way. You're wonderful 🥹💖

As for the Repose stuff, thank you, fam. Of course that discourse is annoying, but I've recovered from it by now (I'm also close to updating that fic again soon)!

To be honest, it's more upsetting that some people I consider(ed) friends started treating me differently because of shipping (including one not-so-stealthy ""anon"")—but I've made my peace with that. The real ones+incredible readers+actual friends will be with you no matter what.

(Honestly, with the amount of critical thinking that led me to appreciate that ship in a nuanced way [while still actively shipping TentooRose, mind], it's silly for anyone to lump me in with all of the worst opinions present in the T/M fandom—that'd be like lumping me in with the people who think Ten and Rose were fucking (we are not the same)—but people are insane. Still, I've since made separate accounts for my T/M stuff to improve my quality of life as an unpaid content creator. And it's been great! But people can still be weird. Suppose that's the price of engaging with fandom in the first place.)

Regarding the campaign thing: I'm not too concerned about that! I'm the one who made the terrible decision to try and get a petition going around the 60th... It didn't occur to me until after the fact (AKA after RTD obliterated my faith) that I should have based the entire petition around Big Finish/Titan Comics/etc to begin with. I've since come up with a way better idea, I just haven't deployed it yet — but keep an eye out if you're interested! It's going to be the last attempt I make, but I've discussed it with several like-minded friends, and I think it'll be brilliant 💖

But yes. Dear god. That shit they pulled with River and Nine... I don't even wanna talk about it. Hopefully this plan I'm working on will make up for it. Maybe. Who knows.

And thank you again for being lovely. Sorry for the wall of text!

[qqueenofhades]

Can you please explain how the myth that "CoNsErVaTivEs ArE gOoD fOr TeH EcOnOmY!" Came to be? I know it's propaganda but just don't get how it's stuck around.

Several reasons:

1) Ronald Fucking Reagan. (I mean, when in doubt, blame Reagan and you have a 95% chance of being correct.) In the late 1970s, America (along with the rest of the world) was in a profound economic crisis. This wasn't necessarily the fault of Democratic president Jimmy Carter, but as the incumbent usually does, he took all the blame for it, and was generally perceived as responding inadequately to the energy woes as well as the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan and the Iran hostage crisis. Reagan, running on the slogan -- you guessed it -- "Make America Great Again" -- won in a landslide in 1980 and immediately instituted what has been known ever after as "trickle-down" or "supply-side" economics, which started the tradition of Republican fiscal "policy" as it is as today. Aka, giant tax cuts for rich people and big corporations, and the business end of the free-market fuckstick for everyone else. Despite massively running up the deficit and hiking taxes on working- and middle-class people no less than twelve times during his eight years as president, Reagan left office with the laurels of a Great Economic Reformer and every president since has been pressured to follow his lead to some extent. Biden is the first ever post-Reagan president to explicitly denounce Reagonomics as what it is. To wit, a get-richer-at-the-expense-of-everyone-else massive scam that has been sold as the height of Responsible Economics for decades, because capitalism!

2) Every Republican president ever since has tried to do the same thing, with the result that... welp, they crash the economy. We all remember what happened in 2008 as the result of Dubya Economics, right? Or the Trump tax cuts that added literal trillions to the deficit, while Biden has reduced it by $1.4 trillion in his first year alone. The Republicans act like cutting government spending alone is responsible economics, and a compliant corporate media owned by ultra-rich oligarchs who personally benefit from GOP policies is often only too happy to play along. So we are made to exist in this fantasy land where cutting massive amounts of revenue and forcing working-class people to carry the tax burden for the super-rich, aside from being morally reprehensible, somehow has a) no effect on the budget, and b) doesn't actually and massively affect the quality of life and smooth functioning of the entire country in generational and long-lasting ways. You would think that for people who profess to be such big fans of capitalism, they would know that it takes money to run a country effectively, and investment in critical public, health, and infrastructure services. But all they want to do is get richer for themselves, not help people, so lololol.

3) As discussed, the Democrats (despite being by any reasonable metric the more fiscally responsible party) have been labeled Big Spenders, because -- gasp -- they dare to expand government spending and social programs, rather than just slashing everything they can get their hands on. Yet again, because of forty Fucking years of Reagonomics and its successors, any spending at all is viewed as "irresponsible" and "too ambitious," while creating giant black holes in the budget to the tune of trillions of dollars is the Party of Fiscal Responsibility! It's like a kindergartner's idea of responsibility, where you just throw out everything. An adult would recognise that "responsibility" encompasses many different areas and goals, but good luck with that.

4) Every Democratic president that has come into office after a Republican has inherited an ungodly economic mess that they then get blamed for not fixing fast enough. The Republicans like to blow it all up and then fundraise and campaign on Democrats Being Bad For The Economy (That We Broke In the First Place, But Shh).

5) As I also said in the previous post: It's The Racism, Stupid. Democrats' social programs and government spending is designed to help people of color along with white people, and that is unacceptable to the white people who would otherwise benefit from these policies, but refuse to support them out of white grievance and racial resentment. As noted, the media is often more than happy to push the Democrats Bad For The Economy narrative, because all the companies and super-rich people who control and set this narrative don't want Democratic policies to ever be widespread or popular or authentically supported. Because then they themselves might be impacted, and might make less money or pay a lot more in taxes. Horrors.

Anyway, yes. There you have it. It is deeply stupid on many levels. Alas.

[system-of-a-feather]

Regarding ESDM

If there is anything I have to take about my first two weeks working in a clinic that does ESDM and has a strong and loud focus on trauma-informed care and strong and firm rules against basically any form of punishment, it's that I am honestly really impressed and honestly amazed at how genuinely comfortable, enthusiastic, and okay all the kids I've seen across two different clinic locations are to interacting with new people.

Like, coming from the perspective as someone who knows a lot about trauma, developmental psychology, developmental trauma, attachment theory, and just general autism, I think more than ANYTHING else, that that singular sign gives me a lot of security that this is something that is actually being helpful and having a good impact on the kids.

I don't really have the energy to go into it, but its such a clear sign of understanding that adults are supposed to be there to support, care, respond to needs, and create a positive and fun environment for children and with how LITTLE stress almost every kid I've seen goes through when they meet a new technician or an observer is just...

I don't even see this in neurotypical school settings and I'm honestly really just... surprised to see this not only in a setting where every kid has autism and where most kids with autism are adverse to some level change and transitions and new stimuli.

Like I've been a completely new face to the clinic, but introduced by familiar faces as a new friend. And I just?? Really think its really nice to see a bunch of kids readily trusting the world to be their friend if someone they know and trust says that they are a friend.

My traumatized ass has a small part in my brain that goes "no but if they trust people so easily, they are being set up to be abused and [redacted trauma]" but honestly... 1) the practicality of that thinking is not good as it would imply that we SHOULD make them distrust the world and think of the world as hostile for their safety which I disagree with and 2) distrusting the world really didn't save me any abuse and very directly put me at higher risk for it; so as much as a little part of my brain whispers that its dangerous for a kid to feel safe in the world, overall I'm just... so in awe.

It's also really kind of amazing how readily we see staff just teaching co-regulation and comforting the kiddos and meeting them where they're at and honoring even the most unclear attempts at communication???

Like... honestly? I'm feeling very good about working here albeit my general burn out that lowkey got MURDERED by one really cute client that reminds me way too much of me as a kid that I get to close my work day with like three times a week.

I still don't know how much of this is the model and how much of this is the clinic so I can't generalize and say that ESDM is never a problem, but I'd honestly enthusiastically send my younger self here, if I had them - I'd send my kids here, and I'd recommend this clinic at the very least to any of my peers.

I don't think I can publicly name the clinic I work at both for anonymity sake and also because I'm not sure if its allowed but.... man. I really haven't ever seen so many kids having responsive care and showing that they spend a lot of time in a highly responsive "daycare" center that explicitly helps teach emotional regulation and care with an assumed trauma background.

[rabbitenn]

MATCHUP FOR THE LOVELY @yaminohimeyume

hello, dear and thank you for being my first matchup request on this blog! i really hope you like it <3

i re-read the info you had previously sent and i just knew who to pair you with! i hope the matchup is to you liking

your idolish7 matchup is someone you could easily compare to the sun; full of energy and encouragement to give others, yet inevitably succumbing to the cruel voices of insecurity sometimes. like you, there is nothing he wouldn't do for the people he loves. in contrast to your reserved nature, however, carrying a conversation is no problem to him, as he is right in his element so long as talk goes on.

i think with this, you can have a pretty good idea of who i have in mind as your perfect match hehe ~ well, why don't we see who's waiting for you backstage?

♡ IZUMI MITSUKI

There is no doubt that Mistuski is a positive beam of sunlight. I believe that is an aspect of his personality that would help you get out of your shy and not fond of socializing shell. Mitsuki is but pure intentions and honesty, often wearing his emotions on his sleeve, so he could be the one to aid you when memories of past experience cause for you to silence yourself.

With him, you wouldn’t have to be afraid to speak up either. You mention you tend to keep to yourself, only responding when asked directly, but truth is, as much as Mitsu is great at carrying a conversation, he wants to hear what you have to say! Whether it is about music, writing and reading or astrology, he stares at you starry eyed, entranced by the glow in you when you speak about what you’re passionate about.

Which brings us to a point you have in common: voice acting.

And who would’ve thought, you and your boyfriend would end up getting roles to voice main characters in a well known anime…

—

An excited ring on your doorbell pulls you out of your daze.

Hands still slightly shaking, you put down the script you were holding, almost afraid that, if you let it go, the magic will vanish and you’ll find yourself watching as this dream crumbles down right before your eyes.

With a couple of deep breaths, you exit your room, making your way to your apartment’s door.

The moment you open it, it feels as if the sun itself had entered your home.

Calls of your name surround you, as a flash of orange rushes past your vision, before materializing in the form of familiar arms wrapped around your form.

Your widened gaze relaxes, replaced by matching crescents on your lips and eyes, as you return the hug.

“[Y/n]! [Y/n]! Mitsuki exclaims, as he practically jumps up and down, his hands linked with yours. “Guess what? You wouldn’t believe this!”

An airy laugh escapes you, as you pat his head softly, strands of molten sunsets silky against your hand.

“What is it, Mitsu?” You giggle, guiding him to sit on your couch. His eyes are almost aglow, akin to the last stars of dawn reflected over a sunlit pond.

“Okay, okay…” He sighs, lids briefly fluttering closed, as he exhales, one of his hands on his chest, grounding himself. “I’ve been casted in Magical Cocona!” Your lover announces, elation brimming in his tone.

Your widening gaze followed by a bright smile are the first answer he gets.

“Oh my god! That’s great news! Ah!! I’m so happy right now!” You celebrate, before leaving a sweet kiss, fleeting, against his lips. ���I told you, you have talent, Mitsuki.” You smile, your faces barely inches apart.

“I still can’t quite believe it!” He laughs, one of his hands tucking a stray lock of hair away from your face.

“Believe it, because it’s very real.” You utter, tenderly tapping his smiling lips. “Now do you want to know what makes me even happier about this?” You grin, a little bashful. “We’ll get to spend more time together, you know… I’ve been cast to voice Cocona!” You announce, with a shy smile.

Then, the most radiant smile you’ve ever seen draws on your boyfriend’s adorable face, as both of his hands hold onto yours.

“Really? We get to work together?” He swings your intertwined hands. “Now I’m even happier!” The idol nuzzles into your side, and as he looks up at you, tears of joy swim at the corners of his vision. “I feel like… a dream has come true…” Mitsuki confesses, as you stroke his bright hair with care.

“So do I, my love.” You whisper, as you lean your cheek on top of his head. “How does practicing together sound to you?”

“Let’s get this show started!” Comes his peppy response.

And so, blue morning skies fade to the coppery hues of early sunsets, as both your voices sway to the symphony of glimpses into a million dawns together.

—

Another reason that makes me think you and Mitsuki are a good match is that he’s your biggest hypeman. No matter what is it you’re doubting yourself about, his radiant energy and sunny demeanor are enough to put your mind at ease. As we all know, he is also skilled with his words, so he always knows how to reassure you in dire situations.

Speaking of which, sometimes he’s not the most confident ever either. And this time around, it is you who can comfort him. You’re a good listener and like helping others, offering Mitsuki a nurturing embrace, a safe haven where he can drop his smile for a few moments and compose himself, until the curve of his lips is genuine again.

Loyalty is another attribute you and Mitsuki have in common. Similarly to you, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his friends and the people he loves, so you two would be on the same page in that aspect.

Mitsuki also sees past your cool and collected facade, he just knows there is way more to it than just your practised poise. He knows there’s a whole world full of emotions that you keep safely stored inside your heart, and he’ll be the one to access it little by little, as you find your mind wandering to memories of his warm smiles more often than not.

With him, you’d never have to be afraid of approaching or bothering him in any way! Shortly after meeting you, Mitsuki just knew he wanted to have more moments with you as time went on. You became the first one he shared any news with; he learned how to cook all your favorite dishes; and he was always asking for your input on other topics, as well as likes and dislikes. Akin to an early summer breeze, his presence began to linger with you, frigid lonely days melting away in the light he offers.

If we focus on both yours and his mbti, well you two are quite compatible. As an enfj, Mitsuki seeks meaningful connections, an example of this is seen when he tells Yamato he doesn’t want “an average friendship” with him. That is a trait, you as an infj share too.

Both you and Mitsuki strive to get a good understanding of what the other needs and of each other’s emotions. In addition, both types are very empathetic, differing in the way to show it: enfjs are more direct and communicative, oftentimes voicing their affection, and Mitsuki is a great example of that; whereas you as an infj show your lover through quiet actions. I can see this as a very good balance between the both of you, given that he deserves to feel appreciated, and like someone’s first choice, while his verbal compliments are the boost that you need when you feel insecure.

You’re an aries and that is quite compatible with Mitsuki’s sign: pisces. Both signs share their generosity and seek their partner’s happiness above all else, making for a romance filled with passion and without a single boring moment.

Considering all the stated reasons, you and Mitsuki would be a very supporting loving couple: you share similarities, but are opposites in some aspects, which ties you both into a healthy and durable bond.

♡ RUNNER UP: YAOTOME GAKU

While he may seem intimidating, the truth is he’s actually one of the greenest flags you can encounter.

He’s honest, just, caring and protective in a healthy manner.

That is why I do believe he’d really pair well with your more initially closed off nature. With him, you wouldn’t have to be afraid to make mistakes or being belittled. Gaku really is a gentleman, and will do everything in his power to make you feel loved and cared for.

He is deeply loyal too; honestly he’d never ever betray your trust. You are his priority, no matter how many fans flock around him or how many rumors circulate, every night he wants nothing more than to come home to you.

He always makes sure to text you or call you too when he’s away for concerts and tours. Hearing his voice late at night, or just seeing one of his ‘I love you, my darling’ texts is enough to make you feel closer to him. He never wants you to feel lonely again, and he tries his best.

You’re very honest, even if sometimes you use white lies to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. And your honesty is something Gaku highly values.

Your relationship with him would definitely be a solid one, built on mutual trust and undying loyalty.

[wildglitch]

SecurityGuard! Denki AU

"So...my job Is to just watch these robots all night?" Denki asked skeptically to the man in front of him.

Said man just gave a too wide smile to the younger boy, sending goosebumps down his spine "Of course! With your 'quirk', you'll be perfect for the job!" He responded, walking Denki thought the old abandoned building that looked like an 80's time capsule

When Denki set out to find a summer job so his aunt wouldn't send him back to Japan, he was prepared to do just about anything to get the money to pay the"Summer Rent" his aunt makes him pay that allows him to stay at her house in Hurricane Utah. But as he looked around at the deteriorating building and the rusting old robots or 'Animatronics' that stood in front of him, he couldn't help but feel a sinking pit in his stomach and a little voice in the back of his head telling him to run.

Looking down at the printed Craigslist ad he brought with him, he read,

HELP WANTED

Freedy Fazbear Pizza

Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift. 12am to 6am.

Monitor cameras,ensure safety to equipment and anamitronic characters

Not reasponsible for injury/dismemberment.

150$ a week.

to apply call, 1-888-FAZ-FAZBEAR

The add looked sketchy as all hell and it doesn't take a genius to tell that something is seriously wrong with the old building he was currently in. But by the time he had found the addlisting, it was almost the end of the week and the deadline given to him by his aunt to get a job.

He's desperate ok? As much as he hates having to spend his summer breaks in America and not at home, he knows that if he is sent back because he forgot save to up the money that he was suppose to take with him, as part of the deal his parents made with his aunt to let him stay with her,  he would be grounded until next summer.

So, at the late hours of 2:30am in a sleep deprived haze, a botched resume and a series of not so smart choices later, Denki applied for the Job. The next morning, when he realized what he did, it was already too late, and they wanted him there as soon as possible for an interview.

He got there in a rush, printing out the job listing to look over later and just deciding to not look a gifted horse in the mouth. Who cares if he has no clue what he applied for? He'll probably figure it out.

When he got to the place, He was immediately on guard. Then it got worse when the creepy interviewer showed up with his cheary energy that was just a tad on the far side.

Also, Apparently, this was less an interview, but more of a sales pitch for the job. by what he picked up from the man as he gave him a tour of the building, everyone quits the job either by the end of their first night or some time later.

No one has worked here for more than a week.

The job was basically guaranteed to him. But the real question was with all that he had learned so far plus the non liability forms he was just handed, if he was willing to risk it?

"And you're saying no one has ever worked for more than a week?" Denki asked, looking up at the man

"Yes, and it's such a shame because since so many people leave before the week ends, they don't end up getting payed" The man said flippantly

"Uh huhhhh" Denki started slowly "And these papers?”

"Non liability forms the company hands out to every security guard”

"Riiiiight. Because I can get hurt in this job”

"You will be working with electricity, but I doubt that would be an issue for you” Right, he knew his quirk for some reason.

"I'm more concerned about the part that say 'Dismemberment' actually” Along side the fact that they are apprerantly allowing a 16 year old work the night shift

"I don't see what the issue or confusion is here Mr. Kaminari?" They says tilting his head at him "In your resume you stated that you have experience with machinery and security? and I'm pretty sure we talked about all the job detailes last night on the phone when I gave you your interview”

The what now-

"Here, I even have your job application here" the creepy man says, handing him a piece of paper out of a folder he was carrying

Looking it over, he reads:

 Job Requirements. Must be experienced in security and  electronics. Must be drug free while on the clock. Must not have a criminal record. Must be over the age of 18

DATE OF APLICATION: July 3rd of 20--

NAME: Denki Kaminari

ADDRESS: ‐------ Ohio/--------Mastufusa

TELEPHONE: +#########

AGE: 21

NATIONALITY: Japanese

WORK ExP: 3 year of security in "The nether inco."

EDUCATION: collage graduate

POSITION APPLIED TO: Security guard

Must be over 18 too work here...

...Well shit.

"Well then" Denki said, looking grimly up at the practically rotting robots, 

He felt the buzz coming from his phone telling him his aunt is looking for him. Probably wanting him out of the house. Just like his parents…

Shutting off his phone, he smiles back at the aging man in purple handing back the forms "When do I start?”

Well, he thinks as he signs the the non liability papers, at least if he's injured, he will be able to sue due to their negligence to do a background check on him.

At the gleaming eyes the man had at his words, he couldn't help but think what did he just get himself into.

[rigginsstreet]

Hi! I'm a different anon than the one who sent you the little ❤ but I also always want to talk about Billy being sweet and teaching little kids how to swim!! I was a competitive swimmer for 10 years and, as much as I loved the competitive training side of things, participating in my neighborhood summer league was even better. Summer league is essentially a less intense swim team option for neighborhood kids where there's a central focus on having fun and learning about water safety. There are offical coaches and lots of family involvement but! The best part of growing up with my neighborhood team every summer was that the older kids got to help coach the younger kids when they came in not knowing how to swim. So starting from about 13 years old and on up until we age out at 18, the older kids get to spend the first few weeks of summer teaching 3, 4, and 5 year old little kids how to swim and it's ADORABLE. So now whenever I think about Billy teaching swim lessons, I picture him being all gentle and playful with the little ones and showing them how capable they are. He can help them smile and giggle and forget that they were ever nervous about getting in the water because Billy makes them feel so strong and brave! He might have the reputation of being rough with people his own age and older but Billy knows how important it is for kids to feel safe and loved and supported 💕 A while ago, I saw a drawing an artist did of Billy standing up in about waist deep water smiling and gently cheering on a little kid who was using a kick board to make their way across the pool and I LOVE it 🥺 I wish I could remember who the artist is. It was such a sweet drawing and the energy was perfect for Billy!

This turned into a very long ramble so don't worry about posting/responding if you'd rather not! Hope you have a good night!

PLEASE THIS IS MAKING ME SOB!!!!

(I also feel like I know what art you’re talking about but I can’t remember the artist either 😫)

Anyway… god billy knowing how important it is for kids to feel safe and encouraged AND how important swimming/the water is to billys own life and the attachment he feels to that and wanting to make it a good experience for the kiddos is something that can be so personal… makes me sob absolutely every time I can’t do this 😖

I also like to imagine billy playing like water monster with the kids and he’ll get his hair all wet to cover his face and makes all these silly growling noises and jumps up out of the water splashing the kids and gets them all yelling and laughing after a lessons over and if they’ve got some time to kill before the parents take them away and I just 🥺

Billy helping little kids put their floaties on and letting them hold onto him real tight when it’s time for the floaties to come off and him being real soft and sweet ensuring them nothing bad will happen he won’t let it like he really gains their trust… I’m gonna be sick!!

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, and happy new year! this isnt urgent or anything, but ive been super nervous trying to plan coming out to friends and family.

specifically, the friend im telling first knows im trans, but ive never talked about wanting hrt before. since its not in person, im not sure how best to send the letter, and trying to even write it has been a bit gruelling.

the latest draft feels like the best, but ive never made one before and even though i know this friend is super nice and nonbinary themself i cant help but worry about timing and wording and writing.

idk if u have any advice or experience with this, even just some encouragement would be awesome. ur blog gives me hope, may the new year treat you well!!

hello there, happy new year to you!

i'm glad to hear you're writing a letter i think for a lot of people that's the best way to get your thoughts out and be heard without being overwhelmed by emotion or nerves and getting scared, backing out or being misinterpreted. there's always a chance they still won't quite get it but it's definitely the best way in my opinion to get your thoughts out there

you can write a different letter for each individual person if you'd like, to maybe see if you can tailor the information to each of them in a way that they can digest better, or you can write one letter. i texted my mom, dad and sister separately but said about the same things to each of them.

don't be afraid to let them know that this is a big part of your life and it does affect you. it's not something you're doing just because, it's something that has deep meaning to you, and that you need to do it for your own well-being. try to be as confident as you can when wording things out, let them know who you really are. avoid saying "i think i'm trans and i might wanna go on HRT" and go straight for "i'm trans, and i need to start HRT in order to take care of myself and my health."

some people latch on to "wishy washy" or 'weak" language and try to use it as a point against you for whatever reason. be confident, let them know you mean it, and that it's important to you and not just something that can be swept under the rug or brushed aside. obviously not saying to be confrontational, but i think the important part is to let people know that it's a big part of your life. it'll help you feel better about it too knowing that you had the guts to have that confidence. when you put that kind of energy out there into the world, you also internalize it. what you say to others does have a big impact on how you feel about yourself

i hope that helps at all, if not, best of luck to you, it's always hard to do these kinds of things and we spend lots of time sitting there and waffling, wondering. is the best way to go about it? can i word it better? can i do it better? and maybe you can, but it's better to get it done than to try to do it the best way possible. i think if you just kind of flow with it and remember to speak from a place of truth and to let them know this is who you are, you will do fine. take care of yourself, best of luck, i hope they respond well to you and if you need anymore help, let us know!

[sweetswesf]

Check In

What I Did

An algo

Checked in on my unemployment benefits that have not come in yet and realized I didn't submit everything I needed to :/ I hope I don't miss out on that money...gotta pay more attention

Spent TOOO much time on YouTube & Twitter

Cleaned

Reviewed a resume writing resource that helped me revamp my resume

Updated my resume

Updated my LinkedIn

Responded to a company with my updated resume

Took a nap & woke up after thinking about my old team and how they were working while I was napping, guilted myself about it

Started my data transfer

Cleared up my inboxes

What I Learned

How to find if an array is a subsequence of another array

A New Orleans comedian I like passed away a few days ago :'(...RIP Boogie B...I found out by doing my daily watch of his videos and seeing a few people commenting RIP under them...I thought it was a joke...but it wasn't...I have been in love with New Orleans since visiting and was looking forward to visiting the spots he recommended and maybe even buying a home there...but not anymore...I don't want this to scare me into not living the life I want to live, but it seems hard to avoid while living there...that's the main thing I kept hearing while I was down there and almost anytime any Black person from there describes it: the gun violence is out of control...he lost his life by Black people...and he wasn't the intended target...all them white people in New Orleans, NY, LA, etc. and they all seem to not get shot...I'm so tired of Black men killing Black people...it's racism's continued manifestation...when will it end?...Black men are even trying to exterminate themselves by whitening their children...it's so sad and truly weighs on me and stresses me out daily...

Feeling

Had a bit of quick headaches here and there...a little sore on my head when I touch the spot that I hit my head yesterday...may take this whole week off of exercising and ease back into it next week

I don’t have the same urge for gym bae as I did…nor for my first…nor for my first love…recognizing my worth…

Proud of myself for actually getting a lot done...I was pretty down because I was pretty distracted today and I want the life that I want to be here now, but I have to work for these next few months consistently to get there...and live in the moment and not worry about the future and just push myself to keep doing a little or more every day

Takeaways

I gotta stop digging in my damn ears with my sharp ass nails!

I am nail biting an bit less and actually have some nails on my hand

I need to spend less time on the socials...maybe I can try to, when I need a break, actually laying down, without hopping on YouTube

I'm getting older, because I can't listen to a LOT of the rap music I used to...I listen to some lyrics today, like, "Wow, I was really feeding myself this crap and paying for these artists that have contributed to lowering my and Black peoples' social standing for a while!...."

How I Got Myself Out of a Rut

Encouraged myself to keep going

Goals Completed

Found a therapist

Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...

Got back on the ball

Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%

Goals After Today

Strengthen my relationship with God

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3

Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels

Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube

Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them

Be more confident & faithful

250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently

Drink more than 64oz a day consistently

Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too

Learn more about my gym crush & get him to ask for my number

Get a house similar to that one in Spain

Update my personal app

[heizelnutlatte]

💬 [24112022] Esquire Korea: Why Actor Ryu Kyungsoo, an INFP type A, always stays till the end at shooting parties." (Part 2)

An actor who is type A and INFP. He is shy but always stays until the very end at after-parties. He believes that acting is incredibly significant, just as every job in the world is, and that the process is as important as the result. We explore the sincere thoughts of Ryu Kyungsoo at the beginning of winter.

Q: The first part of Daemuga was performed a long time ago. As an actor, you might have wanted to reshoot it...

(Continuing) I did want to reshoot it. (Laughs) But the director was very determined. He really liked the outcome of the short film. He wanted to keep his work that way, and since I'm not the director, I couldn't change it. However, I think it would have felt different if we had reshot it. I'm in my 30s now, and I've been through various experiences, so I've definitely changed. I might have improved, but the 'han' (a deep, unresolved sorrow) that I felt back then wouldn't be present now.

Q: With the transition to a full-length film, there’s a new highlight where actors playing shamans have intense confrontations. Do you still learn new things on set?

Absolutely. Growth often comes from trial and error. When something doesn't work out one way, you learn to try another. I gain a lot of energy from the conversations I have with other actors, or simply from spending time together. I ask a lot of questions, and I did so while filming Daemuga, especially with Park Sungwoong and Yang Hyunmin.

Q: You ask a lot of questions.

Yes, I ask my fellow actors a lot. About their lives, how they think about acting. What I'm most curious about is whether acting is still fun for them. 'Even when they reach a master's level, is it still enjoyable?' It's probably because of my own fears. I'm scared that I might find acting unenjoyable someday. Fortunately, many actors respond that they continue to find it enjoyable.

Q: It seems you talk about acting even at shooting wrap-up parties. (Laughs)

I tend to stay till the end because I have so many questions. At those gatherings, there are senior actors whom I didn't know well before. I want to ask them various things, but I'm quite shy, so it's difficult for me. I also worry that it might be impolite to ask about acting when they just want to relax and have a drink. So, I end up asking a lot of questions to the people I meet while working.

Q: Actor Park Sungwoong, with whom you shot Daemuga, said this to you: "I wasn't as good an actor in my twenties as you are. But I'm not sure if you can be as good as I am now when you reach my age."

That was something he said over drinks.

Q: It does sound like something one would say while intoxicated. (Laughs)

(Laughs) The point was, 'You don't know if you can be as good as I am when you're my age, so always stay the same.' He said, "If you change, I'll come after you." I took it as him telling me to keep my current mindset and continue to work hard.

Q: What do you think? Are you confident?

Actually, I don't think there's such a thing as being better or worse than anyone else in acting. But I think I will be better than I am now. I will definitely be different in my forties. I felt different in my thirties compared to my twenties.

Q: So, you're confident about the essence of what Park Sungwoong said.

"Don't change but grow." Yes, I am confident.

Q: On the other hand, actor Hwang Jungmin, with whom you worked on the movie Hostage, commented on your face, saying you have a good face.

When I was in my twenties, I often thought about that. 'Would I have gotten more work if I were better looking?' But I'm thankful he said that, and now I like my face. It's ordinary. Having an unremarkable and neutral face helps a lot in portraying different characters. While you might think it's only about how well an actor performs, the face is important. I see it from the audience's perspective, too. Sometimes, the face conveys more than the acting. It's not about being good-looking or not; it's about whether you can give off a certain feeling.

Q: You have many villain roles in your filmography. Would you consider taking on villain roles again if offered?

It's the same as I said earlier. It just has to be fun and new for me. If a character has a similar tone and manner to characters I've played before, then I probably won't take it, regardless of what it is, because it wouldn't interest me. It's similar to how I feel when someone asks me to go surfing. It might be cold, and I'm not sure if it would be fun. But if there's a new feeling that seems like it could show something new, then I'm drawn to it. At that point, whether it's a villain role or not doesn't matter.

Q: Considering your pursuit of new characters and projects, I thought you might feel constrained by a villainous filmography since it tends to lead to similar roles.

That's why I often say in interviews that I want to show different sides and do new things. Once I've said it out loud, I have to be aware of it, right?

Q: (Laughs) It's like you've put a golden headband on yourself, like the one Sun Wukong wears.

Of course, I would have worked hard even without saying those words, but once you say something out loud, it makes you think about it more. It's like having someone constantly poking you and telling you to get up.

Q: Actress Lee Jooyoung, with whom you worked on "Itaewon Class," entrusted you with the lead role in her first directorial effort, "Left at the Door Bell X." Writer Kwang Jin also chose you for the leading role in his first full-length directorial project, "Cabriole." Why do you think that is?

I'm not sure. I never asked why...

Q: So, you're not the type to ask those kinds of questions.

Right. With Jooyoung noona, for instance, she just said, "I have this thing I’d like you to do," and I just said, "Okay, I'll do it." I've always been curious about Jooyong noona's career moves and thoughts, and the projects she’s involved in always have interesting aspects.

Q: Director Yeon Sangho has cast you again for his upcoming projects, "Jung Yi" and "The Bequeathed," following "Hellbound." Could we say this makes you part of the 'Yeon Sang-ho troupe'?

Director Yeon Sangho seems to dislike that term. He thinks it sounds too much like a power dynamic, and he feels that saying that might make it seem like he should keep working with the same people. I always enjoy working with Director Yeon Sangho; we have so much fun together, joking around to the point where it almost seems too much. His sense of humor is among the top five of all the people I’ve met. He has a broad sense of humor and really gets me laughing, and we mesh well in that regard. Someone once said, "Yeon Sangho seems to turn into a middle school kid whenever he's with Kyungsoo."

Q: Then, would it be accurate to call you 'Yeon Sangho's muse'?

I would love that. Whether as a member of his troupe or as his muse. It’s only him who dislikes the term, not me. (Laughs) He just doesn’t like to be boxed into something specific.

Q: Today, you seem quite shy, but you also seem to joke around a lot.

I am quite shy and a bit timid. I'm a type A and an INFP. But I do want to get to know people, so I’m happy when someone talks to me first. I love it when someone asks me to grab a meal. Once we start working together and I get more comfortable, I joke a lot. I really like joking around.

Q: Are you funny?

I like to try to be funny. I have a big desire to make others laugh.

Q: Is this a form of self-deprecation or modesty? Do people often burst into laughter because of what you say?

Well… sometimes they do. (Laughs) But it has to be the right match, right? I think I tend to attract friends who share my sense of humour rather than being universally funny.

Q: So, having a compatible 'code' is important to getting close to you.

Definitely. Since I'm quite shy, it usually takes time, but if the 'code' matches, things can progress quickly. Recently, this happened with Kwak Dongyeon on "Youth MT" (a TvN variety show). We became close in just three days. I even joined him when he was a special DJ on the radio, and that was really fun too.

Q: I’ve heard that some actors focus continuously on their roles even during breaks on set, but that doesn’t seem to be your style.

I prefer to make it fun.

Q: Fun?

Because the process is as important as the outcome. Life is tiring enough, and portraying a character and filming is challenging. Once you hear 'cut,' that's literally it. Then, you joke, chat, have meals and drinks together after. Of course, the outcome is important, but I think this part is crucial too. At least for me, I tend to remember the projects where I was happy during the process the most.

Ryu Kyungsoo x Esquire Korea, 2022

[swimmingenthusiasty]

Start 26th+all27th start 3.29th+all30th

Oh. Just over four days a year. Starting at 9, four times will add about half a day. I guess it's until midnight the next day. So 30th at 00. Or more 30th at 03.00 to get the fifth away from 360. Or it happens five times.

No one around, and you've had too much, and the weather is just an out of place chill. You feel susceptible to the slightest glance. Energy transfer.

Who do you trust? What kind of energy?

Well, if you sleep. You'll wake up at 2,5,8... and your body will feel like it wants to scream. You will regret it. You'll feel like you got hurt. You'll feel so alone, you'll wish you spent time with someone instead. Someone you love. Someone new. You'll feel like something terrible has just been done. You'll feel sorry to yourself. I'm sorry that it happened.

If you stay up, you'll feel influence from the snake. You'll be moved by subtle things. You'll be moved in general. Repositioned. It's important that you respond quickly and move back to a position that you decide you want for this night. If it smells, make it smell good for you. If it's cold, make it feel warm for you. If you rushed suddenly and said you want to leave, be prepared to apologize and return to your seat. The only people who get to stay up this night are the ones who won't be coming back again. People who get to leave. You want to be one of those people.

Do not spend this night asleep. Do not spend this night in a trance, like in front of a movie or in a dance. Don't talk. Should spend this night fucking for ages. But wanting them. The whole time. Don't cum till it's past noon the next day. Don't use props or clothes and don't put anything between you. Let it be tender, gentle, nothing intense. Nothing hard-core.

I don't know what will happen to you otherwise. But it wasn't pretty the last time. I am told that it won't be this time either. Something to wince at if you're a bystander. I'm sorry. It was preventable.

the snake always lies.

the pigs always lie.

The spider always lies.

Your good nature is the only thing that will save you. You're the only one who will help you.

If last season is anything to go by. I'm so sorry. Never have twelve hours meant so much.

Stupid. Is the only way to describe sleeping or being alone on this night.

I hope you can forgive me. I hope you can forgive yourself.

The snake always lies.

The pigs always lie.

The spider always lies.

That doesn't mean do the opposite of their lying. The opposite of a lie is not always the truth. It just means they're lying. They're self-serving, thats the reason, which is fine, everyone is. But always what they speak is a lie.

The snake always lies.

The pigs always lie.

The spider always lies.

Your good nature is the only thing that will save you.

Event starts at 9 or 10pm and goes past twelve hours. Because if you sleep it could be that you are waking up in the opposite hemisphere. So I think it goes 24 hours. 9pm to 9pm. But the main event is 9pm till noon.

How can you know the exact day. I think July first or second will be a special time. Start at night 9pm first of July. The whole second of July can be a great start to a new season if I want it to be. Starting from the evening of the first. The next starts on the night of October third all the way through the fourth. Then the night of Sunday fifth of January right through the sixth. Then something happens over the new year and a fifth day goes.

The next is not the evening of Wednesday 9th.

What do you do in preparation. I think sleep plenty beforehand. Load up on vit d on the night. Don't think of anything. Feel alright with everyone no matter what.

How should you spend the day. The twelve hours after noon, I'll find out in a sec. I think you have to stay up. Till a full 24 has passed. But go out in the sun. Don't make too many choices. Yeah you have to stay up. When you sleep you'll basically upload. And then when you wake up after the second sleep, you'll have a.. presence.

If you loved during the whole night, they'll have nothing else to go off. There'll be no room for them.

If you thought anything or talked alot or wrote anything down, or had doubt about anything, that's the space the presence will occupy.

You should be gentle in living life. No stress no changes to think about.