#because y'know he has died several times

[energeticpoltergeist]

finally got around to attempting to update the El Tigre design for the Perpetual Rerun au, the original one i made was kinda meh tbh, also sometime i am going to elaborate on just how not okay this guy is in this au because ough

[thevoidstaredback]

Every man has his breaking point. Danny's is just a bit higher than everyone else's because he's a king and has a high tolerance for absolute bull shit. No matter how strong that bar is, though, one can only bend so far before snapping.

Unfortunately for everyone around him, Danny has reached his breaking point.

"I wish I could get drunk," he stared into his drink longingly, "Or high. But mostly drunk."

"Why do ya say that?" Billy asked, tilting his head curiously to the left.

Danny sighed, "It's a long story."

"I've got time." he shrugged.

"Are ya sure?" Danny raised an eyebrow. "You don't think any emergencies are gonna crop up? Nothing you'll need to go take care of?"

Billy backed off a little, folding into his seat. "What're you talking about? I'm just some kid on the street. I ain't going anywhere."

Danny rolled his head from side to side. "Mostly, I'm talking about the JL meeting the both of us are gonna skip out on tonight."

"What-?"

"C'mon, Captain, it won't do to talk here," he stood, picking up his coffee and waiting for Billy to do the same.

Billy's eyes narrowed as he looked Danny up and down. "I don't recognise you," he whispered, "Who are you."

Danny produced another calling card from his sleeve as he sipped his drink, holding it in front of himself but not handing it over. When Billy was looking at it, he flipped it over. The white background turned matte black, all the runes in the Ouroboros turning so white that they glowed. The DP in the very middle tinted blue, pulsing with toxic green energy, slightly cold to the touch. The edges started to frost over.

Quickly, Billy pulled the card Danny had given him before from the inner pocket of his jacket. It, too, had changed to match the one Danny held, though there was no longer a DP in the middle. Instead, it said 'Phantom' in fancy calligraphy.

"No way," the kid muttered, his expression awestruck, "Phantom? That's you? No shit?"

Danny chuckled, tucking the card away again, "No shit, kid. Don't tell anyone, though. You're the only one who knows."

"Really?" he squeaked.

"Really."

***

Having someone know his whole story was refreshing, just as he's sure Billy felt good to have someone know his, too. That didn't stop him from feeling bad about dumping it all on the poor kid.

"I still wish I could get drunk," Phantom lamented."

Constantine looked up from the book he was reading. "You can't get drunk?"

"Nope."

"How'd ya figure that one out, kid?"

"Please don't call me a kid."

That's not good. The blond marked the page before setting the book to the side. Phantom had never actually asked him to stop calling him a kid. "What's wrong?" He didn't normally do the whole 'feelings' things, but the was an exception.

Phantom sighed long and sad. He didn't look up from the carpet. "I told you they were going to ask invasive questions."

"Who was it?" It was more of a demand then a question.

"Red Robin,"

"Red- I thought you would've skipped town when we were done there? I sure as hell did."

"I know you did, but I decided to stick around for a bit. Wander, y'know? Red Robin caught up to me and would leave me alone."

Oh, oh no. Those were tears. Were they? Yeah, shit, they are! John is not equipped to handle this!

Phantom sniffled. "He asked me how I died."

Fuck.

John Constantine is not easy to anger. Sure, he gets tired, and irritated, and a whole slew of emotions, but he is very slow to anger.

Phantom, he knows, is not a child. The ghost can very much take care of himself in basically every way one could think of. He saved the world on his own, several times, when he was fourteen. He became a King and Protector when he was fourteen. He died when he was fourteen.

Right now, all he could see was the child who hadn't ever been properly laid to rest. It was hard not to call Phantom a child when he seemed so small, seeking comfort from anyone. Phantom was crying. He'd retreated to the House and locked himself in Constantine's room, only talking when he was ready to, but he'd waited to cry.

Phantom didn't like crying. Every person in the JLD knew this.

No. John Constantine is not quick to anger, but he is scary when he reaches that point. Batman might be the night and vengeance and all that shit, but John Constantine was wrathful.

He sat beside Phantom and let the ghost lean into him and cry. He didn't like dealing with feelings, but this was a child in need of comfort and he was the only one around to offer it. "Do you really want me to stop calling you 'kid'?"

A sniffle and a small head shake. "No."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"...sure."

"How old are you really? As a ghost, not as a human or a halfa. How old are you?"

"Fourteen." he mumbled, "I'll never be any older than fourteen, John," he was getting a bit hysterical now, "I'll never be any older than fourteen! I-I died and-and now I have to rule and-and people keep asking and no one believes me and-!" A sob cut him off, heavy with grief and wet with tears. He cried for hours, giving up on trying to form words. Constantine let him, ignoring the wet patches on his shirt. Eventually, Phantom's sobs died down into hiccups. "I didn't...I'm- I'm sorry."

"It's alright, mate," he meant it, really and truly.

Phantom rubbed his eyes, "I'm gonna go hide somewhere."

"Not gonna share where?"

"No, I want to be alone for a while." He paused at the door, "Whatever you're gonna do, will you leave Captain Marvel out of it?"

Odd request, but, "Alright," he nodded, "I'll talk to the others." And by 'talk', he means lecture. There are boundaries that one shouldn't cross, and not asking the dead how they died should've been obvious! With his League issued communicator, John called an emergency meeting in one hour, required attendance, barring Captain Marvel. First things first, though, he needed to talk to Deadman.

Part 7 Storyboard

Tag List:

@zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders @princessbelix @luminanightfall @kgne-k @bianca-hooks123 @reigning-catsanddogs @sassywombatranchhorse @dontfightmecauseillcry @soul-lime @anarinette @serasvictoria02 @the-chaos-goblin-child @confusedshades @caicie @fantasticstoryteller @randomshtickidk @itsberrydreemurstuff @blueliac @i-love-mangoes @nymanders @highimpactemotions @anarinette @sleepingdead96 @orbr @tkiesai @atomicsheepscientist @8000fangirl @shower-phantom-ideas @blep-23 @aki-bara @chasing-liberosis @weirwulf20 @mynewhyperfixation

[jessicas-pi]

📔

Ooooh.... Here's a crack AU I made up ages ago!

So, in this AU, when Ezra was young (like... three, maybe,) there was an accident and his parents were killed. And something happened in that accident that revealed he was Force-sensitive. He was brought to Vader, and Vader sees this child—small, but VERY Force-sensitive, and born almost the exact same day Padme died—and his reaction is just, "SON?????"

So... Ezra grows up believing that Vader is his dad.

Anyway, several years pass. Ezra is about twelve now, and he gets his first mission.

It's on Mandalore.

One of the instructors there is beginning to suspect that Sabine Wren is considering treason. Ezra is sent there, disguised as a new student, to "befriend" Sabine and discover if this is true. It backfires spectacularly!

Ezra decides that Sabine is The Coolest Ever, Actually, and sticks to her like a barnacle. They run away from the Academy together (though Ezra does leave a voicemail for Vader telling him everything is OK. He just doesn't want his dad to worry!)

Ezra says he'd like to go live quietly on Lothal (he doesn't remember it's his home, but something about the name sounds Familiar and Good), but Sabine doesn't want to. She says she'll drop him off and then she'll go and be a bounty hunter, but Ezra, who REALLY doesn't want to lose his new bestie, insists that he could be her bounty hunter apprentice. He's, like, really good at being an apprentice. Honest.

Sabine kind of has it in mind that he's this pathetic kid that she needed to babysit and rescue from the Empire (she doesn't know who he really is; Ezra honestly just forgot to ever mention it), but he convinces her to give it a shot.

So, here's the thing. Ezra was raised by Darth Vader, and though he's not actively evil, Ezra's moral compass is a pinwheel and in his mind, the only reason to not do something is if either Vader or Sabine have specifically said Ezra No That's Bad.

After a lot of bad luck, they finally get a bounty puck, and set off to bring the person in. They get to the planet, and Sabine suggests they split up, because she thinks she'll catch the bounty much faster on her own.

She doesn't.

By the time she realizes she needs to follow the sound of people screaming and running, Ezra has already located, ambushed, and messily dismembered the bounty.

"Did I do good?" Ezra asks eagerly.

Sabine quickly switches mindsets from I have to keep this kid from getting himself killed to I have to keep this kid from having a villain arc.

"Um, are you okay?" Ezra asks. "You look kind of weird."

"I'm fine," Sabine says, smiling nervously. "Y'know, maybe we should just go live quietly on Lothal or something."

As it turns out, "living quietly on Lothal" is fun for about a month (which is how long it takes Sabine to paint the entire inside of the comm tower they've claimed as their headquarters, install bunk beds, dye Ezra's hair, and make mini cardboard mandalorian helmets for the two Loth-cats he brought home.) Then boredom sets in, and Sabine takes to vandalism. Ezra goes with her. He thinks it's almost as fun as bounty hunting.

Ezra also spends time exploring the Force. He's been trained in the Dark side but the peacefulness of Lothal starts to draw him towards the Light. He starts to find an equilibrium.

Sabine and Ezra have the time of their lives.

Then, one afternoon, about a year later, when Sabine and Ezra are working on an art project, Darth Vader barges into the comm tower and demands, "Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in, young man?!"

"Aww, Dad!" Ezra whines. "You never let me do anything!"

In hindsight, Sabine thinks, that explains a lot.

[askthekoopsandjr]

Ludwig von Koopa (Head)canons

Cunning, conniving, and classy; this is the surface level of the pompous prodigy we all know and love... or hate. Here's everything you need to know about him to familiarize yourself with my story.

G͟e͟n͟e͟r͟a͟l͟ I͟n͟f͟o͟r͟m͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟

18 years old.

- Very important to note: Dragon Koopas do not age the same as humans. It is unknown how they age in equivalence to humans, but the adult age for dragon koopas is their early 30's. Dragon koopas can live for several centuries. The maximum years of life is unknown.

Transgender man, he/him. Gay, asexual, and amicusromantic.

-Transitioned after his 13th birthday. Chose the name Ludwig, loving the high end and fancy sound of it.

Is autistic and completely deaf. Uses hearing aids designed by Iggy to hear.

Ludwig has always been attracted to men, but after transitioning he went through a short period of "now being attracted to girls", because everyone has to be straight, right? Lmao it took a conversation with Kamek to clear that up.

- (P.S. Everyone in my story is asexual because "it"™ doesn't exist haha)

Eldest of the 7 koopalings

- All are biological siblings, born to the late Morton Koopa Sr. and Adaeh Koopa

Self proclaimed leader of the Koopalings. His siblings do not agree with this notion, reminding him that they're a team.

Adopted by Bowser, along with his siblings, at 12 years old

It is unkown exactly how his parents died, but he vividly remembers that fateful day.

- He has uncomplicated PTSD formed from this event. He doesn't currently receive therapy (yet)

Here's the whole story about that:

All creatures in the Mario world... the Underground whatever it's called have all the races/ethnicities of humans. Ludwig and his siblings are German and British from their father, and South African from their Mother.

C͟h͟a͟r͟a͟c͟t͟e͟r͟

Of course, Ludwig is a lil bitch at heart. He's snooty, snarky, sarcastic, stubborn, bossy and arrogant... You get it. Buuuuut! He's not completely terrible and unpleasant. He has a certain persona he puts on when in the face of the general public. He's the GREAT and POWERFUL Ludwig von Koopa, he has a reputation to uphold! However; those who get the rare chance to know him outside of work and royalties will notice he's actually much more lively. He's witty, likes to make bad puns, and LOOOOVES to gossip for hours (whether good or bad) on end.

He usually favors the sound of his own voice, but he's a good listener at times, too!

As you might already know, Ludwig is a total drama queen and lives for theatrics. This means he will show off at any given chance, and act super extra. Think of Rarity from MLP having one of her "moments".

As he stated in Bowser Jr.'s Journey, he never backs down from a fight or challenge. This is driven by his insatiable need to prove himself and pride.

He used to beat himself up pretty bad when losing a fight or challenge, but has gotten a lot better at accepting defeat or trying not to be too upset about it. Take his loss to Mario in Color Splash as an example of him humbling himself and accepting defeat- but also take his loss to Waluigi in the 2020 Olympic Games as how he can still get upset.

He knows he can't be the very best at everything... but that doesn't mean he can't be in the top 5, y'know? So even if he is humbled after losing and embarassing himself, that only means he'll work twice as hard to perfect his skills for next time. I'll get you next time, He-Man...

Speaking of perfection, Ludwig is very knowledgeable and has seemingly endless talents. He can play over 200 instruments, excels in acting, is a surprisingly good singer and painter, and is very well educated in general studies. While wanting to be the very best certainly plays a part in why he's so ambitious, the main reason is because he simply loves learning and doing.

- He owns Ludwig Painting as seen in Mario Kart. His company is in charge of giving each kart their exterior paint job.

Time for a secret... Ludwig has always been an eager student, but has intensified to who is today because of the loss of his parents. Being the oldest, he believed it was his sole responsibility to care for his siblings. He would not allow the destruction and death from before to ever happen again. Once being taken in by Bowser, he quickly introduced himself to the luxurious resources around him to begin a journey of scholarship that still continues to this day.

Kamek was the one who gave the 7 of them their wands. This was not the first time Ludwig was introduced to magic, however. His mother was a sort of "earthy" witch, knowing how to mix up various potions and natural remedies, which she taught Ludwig. To hold a staff of power capable of virtually anything he could dream of, Ludwig chose magic to be his "major". Kamek would personally teach Ludwig magic beyond what he would teach his siblings, since Ludwig was the one who insisted so badly.

- Ludwig might have the strongest magic of his siblings, but don't let that trick you into thinking he's the strongest of them all. Usually, his showboating leads to his downfall.

As his siblings grew older (and with the help of Kamek to talk some sense into him), Ludwig stopped thinking it was his sole responsibility to take care of them. They didn't really want/need that kind of help from him anymore, and it was a bit frustrating to get that through his head.

Beneath those tough scales, Ludwig really does have a heart. He can be kind, and he likes to show affection. It's actually a lot easier to get along with him than it seems, so long as you have patience and don't let his self-absorption bother you too much.

Speaking of affection, he's not ashamed or afraid to let others know that he cares for them. It won't really show when he's engaged in battle, but find him in the castle on an eventless day and you'd see him acting like a normal big brother.

You'd think he'd want to be ruler of the Dark Lands, but that's not actually the case. He deeply cares for Jr. and knows he has great potential- hence why he's always trying to teach and point him in the right direction.

- Let's talk more on what Ludwig likes to do for himself: -

Ludwig takes excellent care of himself. He has an intricate routine for keeping himself radiant every single day (like scale exfoliation, etc). Every night, he puts his hair in curlers and wears a purple silk bonnet. He loves feeling physically fulfilled and looking his best.

His hair is his greatest pride. It's thick, reverently fluffy and voluminous. It's beauty brings him great happiness.

- His hair is naturally curly. It gets that shape from the curls. If you ran your fingers through it, you could feel the texture.

He is more than happy to tell you all about hair care and give you a few tips

He loves frills, hence why he wears that jabot all the time.

He loves to paint outside in the sun. He isn't too good at drawing, so he usually paints scenery and other things that require abstract shapes. He never sketches on the canvas prior to the paint.

This is so obvious, but it should be said anyway; music is his driving force and passion. He only has 5 officially published original works, but has so, so many more unpublished. He creates at a rather fast pace, so he decides to hold back on releasing them until he "feels" it's the right time. He has published many covers of existing songs, though.

- It was his dad that taught him how to play music and his mom who taught him how to sing. The first instrument he ever played was the piano, hence why it's his favorite.

Ludwig experiments with his music. Yes, classical is his favorite and what he's best at, but his passion is music as a whole. He's even dipped his feet in some alternative genres! It's death metal, heavy metal and the stuff Larry listens to (hyperpop, gabba, speedcore etc) that he can't stand.

- Since meeting Suzuka, he's been trying to be more accepting of the rock genres that he loves. He won't want to listen to it, but will support Suzie's decisions and even help him write his music sometimes (as long as it's not the "heavy" parts)

Before meeting Suzie, Ludwig didn't write much poetry, but as it turns out, he's fairly good at it! He and Suzie like to leave suprise love poems lying around for the other to find.

- He may have or may not have left ominous riddle poems lying around to mess with his siblings...

Ludwig is a pretty good cook and baker. He doesn't normally make the meals, since Bowser has employees for that; but if the chefs were ever unavailable, he wouldn't be lost. He likes to joke that he could easily replace the chefs based on his experience of making food for all his siblings. He usually says that to the head chef, because it amuses him to get under their skin.

- The head chef usually gets pissed at this joke, attempting to throw spices and utensils at Ludwig to get him out of the kitchen.

Ludwig loves the theater. He will go to every new show in any kingdom, even if it's in the Mushroom Kingdom. He knows that Mario will be breathing down his neck, but he likes to annoy him and act like he's never done any wrong and act offended at Mario's accusations that he would try to sabotage the show.

- Lemmy usually tags along, as he loves theater too.

Quality time is a must for Ludwig. He likes to hang out with his siblings individually, then all together. As much as he would like to have one-on-one time with Jr., it nearly never happens because the heir is preoccupied with his dad, Kamek, school, and learning to be a prince. He did at least get to teach him to dance once, though. (end credits of Bowser Jr.'s Journey)

- Quality time with Suzie is a whole 'nother story. The two don't spend much time apart.

R͟e͟l͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟s͟h͟i͟p͟s͟

Ludwig loves all of his siblings equally. The ones he loves are the most important thing in the world to him. His deepest fear is losing his loved ones.

With Iggy: Ludwig often gets annoyed by Iggy's lack of seriousness and class, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy Iggy's company. They both share the insatiable hunger for knowledge, love of science and robotics. They get along very well because guess what? They're both cuckoo insane! I honestly think Lud is crazier than Iggy! Iggy knows how to make Ludwig laugh, no matter what kind of day he's had. Iggy is also a very touch affectionate koopa, so she'll often do this thing where he'll just stand behind Ludwig and rest her head on top of Lud's hair because it's funny. Iggy also manages to steal a hug at least once a day. And often pranks Ludwig with a joke very often. Hey Ludwig wanna get up dog what's up dog not much what's up with you

With Morton: Ludwig almost never gets mad or annoyed with Morton on his own. Morton likes to talk a lot when spoken to and is a very good listener, so Ludwig enjoys having long conversations with him. Ludwig likes to bake with Morton as well, since they both share the interest. He tried to teach Morton how to cook once, but never again after his hair was almost burned off. The two also share an interest in music, so Ludwig will use Morton as a critique when writing new pieces. Ludwig is also more than glad to serve as a listener to Morton when he wants to speak, and serve as feedback for Morton's very long fictional stories.

With Roy: Ludwig is very patient with Roy's short temper and aggressive nature- maybe because he simply doesn't want to get his ass kicked, or maybe he's just used to it by now. He's not often prone to being hit by Roy, given that he would get him back with a nasty magic trick. Roy usually picks on Ludwig verbally (the usual insults you hear about him. It's pretty funny). Regardless, he does not look down on Roy. When you're not looking, he'll smile at Roy's wisecracks and silly nature. Ever since Roy has taken his studies more seriously, Ludwig listens to him more often and ask for his opinion when on missions. Roy will actually ask Ludwig for homework help more often than you'd think. Ludwig is always more than willing, as teaching others is actually something Ludwig loves to do. Ludwig wishes he could show Roy a bit of affection, but we all know Roy's not a fan of that.

With Wendy: Ludwig and Wendy are the young and cunty Statlor and Waldorf. They have mad gossip and drama to share at all times, and confide in each other with their deepest secrets. Wendy actually transitioned shortly after Ludwig, which was the start of the closeness they still share today. They love giving each other make-overs and shopping together. Ludwig enjoys asking Wendy to put on a magic ring show for him, as he doesn't know how to use magical objects very well, such as her bracelets. He loves how graceful yet powerful she is. He considers asking Kamek to teach him how to do something like that at times. Ludwig is the one who taught Wendy how to style hair, despite having none of her own, so that he could ask her to do his. He secretly enjoys when others play with his hair, but trusts very few to actually touch it.

With Lemmy: Ludwig will act like he doesn't care for Lemmy's silly theatrics and clowny behavior, but actually very much enjoys it. He loves Lemmy's individuality and how he brings it forth to the spotlight wherever he is. As I mentioned before, Ludwig brings Lemmy along whenever he goes to the theater. Both enjoy sharing artistic ideas and even collaborating, whether it be on a stage-play or a painting. Ludwig wouldn't admit to this, but he is secretly awed by Lemmy's natural emotional maturity. He often thinks about asking Lemmy for advice or just having him as someone to talk to about his anxieties and fears, but never does because Lemmy is still rather young. He imagines confiding in his younger brother about these things one day, when he's older. (Here's another secret... Ludwig actually likes the circus.)

With Larry: Larry is the one Ludwig parents the most. Outside of missions for Bowser, Ludwig keeps a careful eye on his youngest sibling. That's a lot harder said than done, though; Larry is a hyper-energetic kid who's always wanting to do his own thing. Ludwig is constantly trying to teach Larry everything he can learn- which he's done a pretty good job with!- but keeps pushing Larry to do more and more, which frustrates and confuses the youngest. Ludwig just wants to ensure the youngest has everything he could ever need in life, but he comes off as though he's not proud of him sometimes. That is 100% not the case, but Ludwig is letting his fears and anxiety get the best of him. They do get along well, though. Larry enjoys playing with Ludwig, and typically succeeds in bringing out the elder's inner child. They have that special big-bro-little-bro bond.

💜 With Suzuka: Suzuka is Ludwig's one and only. He knew there was something special about him from the first time they met. They've been going steady for almost a year, and their love for one another just keeps growing. Ludwig will spend every second of his time with Suzie if he can help it. The two often indulge and collaborate on musical works and teach each other new things. Both koopas are well associated with the other's family, and frequent activities with them (such as dinner, helping out with chores, etc). Ludwig is usually the first to initiate physical affection, but both equally enjoy cuddling with each other at any time.

- Lore time... From the second time they met, he was drawn in even further after working together to help Iggy's stupid newest invention from destroying the jungle world (it's a long story). Suzie was smart, sweet and so unintentionally charismatic that Ludwig knew he had to forge a formal friendship with him. He thought it would be smooth sailing from there... But there was actually a small bump in the road. Ludwig was horrified that Suzie's favorite genre of music was metal (More specifically j-metal but to Ludwig it's all the same)! This actually upset Ludwig for a while, and he was not shy to share his opinions with Suzie. Suzie just went :3. He respected Ludwig's opinion, and it's not like he was unfamiliar with hatred towards rock genres as it was lol. Like the drama queen he is, Ludwig tried to distance himself, but Suzie just kept coming around... And played some classical on the piano to get him to come around. Which totally worked. And wooed Luddy for the first time. So Ludwig decided he would try to grow as a person (or Koopa??) for Suzie. He was way too special to ditch over something silly. The months would pass, the feelings would grow, and we end up at Christmas. With the holiday spirit in the air, Ludwig finds he can't keep it a secret anymore and confesses to Suzie. The two have been going steady ever since!

F͟u͟n͟ F͟a͟c͟t͟s͟

Ludwig is a big foodie, with a heavy preference for sweets. He would autistically explain to you the history behind a dish and how it should be made/served

He went completely deaf at some point when he was 14. No one is sure how or why. He used typical hearing aids for a while, until Iggy devised his own pair that Ludwig could wear 24/7 without causing discomfort. They are charged by geothermal energy. If Ludwig happens upon a place where the heat from the Earth cannot easily reach up to the surface (for example somewhere very cold), the hearing aids will go into manual charge mode and have 24 hours of battery.

While Ludwig didn't had a partner before Suzuka, he did go on some dates in the past. Maybe 5 or 6? [I'm undecided lmao] They were all boys of higher class or with some title to their name from neighboring kingdoms, with the exception of one who was a Koopa troop guard in training. Ludwig doesn't really talk to them anymore, but would say hello if running into them.

His tail will wag when he's feeling affection for someone. Hugging a sibling? Little tail wags. Snuggling Suzie? Big tail wags. You get it

Is a total romantic. Will do the corniest things but look good doing it because of his talents in music and acting. He enjoys showing pda, usually through hand holding or keeping his partner close to his side at all times.

His favorite play is probably The Phantom of the Opera

He resonates with victorian goth

Claims to be ruthless, but has anyone actually ever seen him display such intense behavior that went beyond words?

- Even so, he does get a bit cuckoo at times. It may be a result of neurosis.

He actually doesn't use hairspray or gel

Of the siblings with hair, he's been able to teach Larry and Lemmy how to do theirs

He's fairly easy to annoy. It makes for fun pranks and jokes to pull on him

As stated in Bowser Jr.'s Journey, he's quite good at lying, deceiving, and negotiating. You may wanna be cautious around him.

It's really not that hard to make friends with Ludwig. It's just very dependent on the circumstances under which you meet.

[wanderingblindly]

just read your vampire landoscar and died it was amazing!! but i am so curious - does charles ever realize he was such a shit friend and apologize? does he even know what he did wrong? does oscar hate him so much if he ever does come around? max and oscar interaction/tensions??? the whole time i was so sad for lando cause charles is a horrible friend i was really glad he called his ass out!!

(fic link)

oh my goodness I've genuinely been rambling into a million people's DMs about all the nuances of this fic so THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! One of your questions reminds me of a scene that got cut, so scroll to the bottom to check that out!

Obviously, you're more than entitled to imagine your own answer to these questions. If things are left unsaid,, it's not my place to tell you how to read into it. But in my brain:

Will Charles Ever Change?

Probably not.

Charles is a foil to Lando. He's entirely sure of what he wants, he knows how to get it, he's self-assured, and he's obsessed with power. Because he's compared to where Lando starts in the narrative (introspective, quiet, placating, etc.), it's pretty important that Charles doesn't have the self-awareness to recognize that he's a prick.

In my mind, the relationship completely died that night in the club, and Lando buried it in the café.

But could he grow later?

I think that Max and Charles's relationship is inherently doomed to be mutually destructive. I don't think that they're designed to bring out the best in each other (despite it being implied that they're soulmates -- I suppose soulmates don't always have to be for the better). Because they're so absorbed in each other, I don't think that Charles will ever gain the perspective to understand Lando completely. Meaning he probably won't come around to being a real friend.

What Does Oscar Think About Charles?

I've thought a lot about this, since it's implied that Oscar was definitely... watching... Lando lol. Oscar probably has an immense distrust of Charles, if not just for the fact that he radiates a level of danger that triggers most vampires’ basal instincts.

(if you didn't read Excess -- Charles is almost entirely covered in vampire bites, meaning he should trigger Oscar's fight or flight like no other.)

That said, I also think that Oscar has an understanding that Lando and Charles's relationship is more complex than he can pick apart from the outside. I get the feeling that he wants Lando to be with someone safer -- if not just because he loves him -- but that he'd respect any decision he makes on the matter.

Max and Oscar Vibes?

Max is the type of vampire that Oscar loathes. He's blood-drunk and confident in what he is; Max has embraced the life as a gift (barring sometimes missing human sensations), whereas Oscar views it as a curse. Their perspectives on their eternal life is so fundamentally incompatible that it's unlikely they'd ever get along.

Do I think they'd actually full on fight? No.

But I do think that Oscar would be so tense the entire time they interacted that he could crack his teeth.

Deleted (Incomplete) Scene:

Originally, after the confessional in Oscar's flat, I wanted to keep going. The next scene actually had to do with the state of Charles and Lando's relationship, where we learn that Lando hadn't heard from him -- and that he hadn't reached out, either. We get the impression that the relationship was completely dead, severed.

"I haven't talked to Charles since I told him to leave," Lando says mindlessly, sliding Oscar's cup in front of his usual seat. He grabs it and draws in a deep breath, the memories of caffeine doing little to alleviate the blue under his eyes. "D'you miss him?" Did he really know him well enough to? Lando shrugs. "Y'know how you kinda, like… miss something because it's over, not because you actually wanted it to keep going?" Oscar nods along, eyes fluttering closed – relaxed. "End of an era." "Era makes it sound like a good thing," Lando chuckles, tilting his head when Oscar raises a brow in silent question. "Nothing good about it then? At all?" In the daylight, they slowly peel apart each other's layers, step gently into the shadows they carry. Lando hasn't asked how much Oscar had gleaned about his and Charles's relationship, if he recognized him as a riptide feigning gentleness. The wounds felt too fresh, the mistakes too recent, and yet. "I'm…" He starts uncertainly. Oscar doesn't open his eyes, doesn't move – like waiting for Lando is easy. The years in Charles's orbit feel like a blur, like watching events that happened to someone else. They're a book with ink that fades with each page – starting bold in its desperation, ending weakly in its passive acceptance. "Not good enough to remember," Lando finally answers, and Oscar drops his brow. "I probably wouldn't have been better without him, I guess. Like, I would have ended up somewhere… different but similar, just with someone else. Might as well have been him, if it had to be someone." Need you more than anything else on earth. Because at least Charles sometimes put a word to that cold, lonely spot between Lando's ribs. Or maybe prodded at it like a contusion, dark and hideous and violent. But he saw it all the same. Shaking his head, clearing it away, Lando changes the subject. "What about you? Do you still talk to anyone from…" He trails off, lips frozen around the word: before. Opening his eyes and putting down his cup, Oscar stares down into it. Pensive. But he promised to try. Lando can see the weary determination in the pressed line of his pale lips – maybe the same wherewithal that keeps his fangs tucked safely out of sight. "I text my family, so they don't think anything's wrong." It leaves a lot unsaid. Lando let's the unspoken fill the time and space between them, resting his back against the counter. Until Oscar looks up at him, eyes finding his own like how Lando always imagined coming home should be – easy. "But everyone else, it's…" A sigh, agitated fingers combing through flat hair. "Complicated." He aims for reassuring. "I know," Oscar averts his gaze anyway. "I quit my job." It's that same tone, that same pinched anguish that evokes memories of tears he can no longer shed. "D'you miss it?" "It's all I ever wanted to be, I –" His throat cuts him off, painfully tight. Lando wonders, not for the first time, how beautiful his emotions would be with the flush of life. And he wonders, anew, if Oscar can feel the difference. Shaking, small: "They were so proud of me." Between beats of his bleeding heart, Lando wonders what that feels like. "You're still the same person though," Lando tries, stopping when Oscar buries his face in his hands, elbows propped up on the counter. "'m not." "You are –" Fiery enough to burn, even muffled through his hands: "Would you want a fucking monster to help you?" "Already did." Lando smiles like a gotcha, flashing his wrist for emphasis. Oscar must sense it, peeking between his fingers. "Almost like you're still you, huh?"

[iavulture]

Headcanon and story time (related to Despicable Me 2)

All right, I know everyone is onto DM4 (or rather, a certain cockroach man), but I've been way too enamored with a headcanon that I have stemming from DM2, which has since evolved into an ongoing AU/alternate continuity fic that further explores it in its own way. Ready to hear it? Because this'll be a long one.

(Spoilers for Despicable Me 2 and a warning due to mentions of death. Also, I will rant a bit, not out of outright hate, but because I wish things were handled better.)

*deep breath

I have this headcanon that Silas Ramsbottom is Lucy Wilde's adoptive father.

Yes, this man.

Now, before you think that's ridiculous, before you go "No way, Silas? That big man who was kind of an arse to Gru in 2 is Lucy's dad?", I can explain that, beginning with a personal story.

See, back when trailers for DM4 were being released, I decided to throw in my lot to the Despicable Me fandom for the first time by writing a future fic featuring a grown-up Gru Jr. following his parents' footsteps as a newbie AVL agent. Following that, I also decided to write another Despicable Me fic that is my take on what happened with Lucy's parents, who were killed by a villain when she was a young girl.

Above is the Twitter post describing Lucy's short backstory. This is back in 2015. 2015! Two years after DM2's 2013 release!

Anyway, after seeing that tweet and browsing through Ao3 and Fanfiction.net for Despicable Me fanfics, I was disappointed to find so few fics that explored that part of her life. Yes, I know that Gru is the protagonist of the mainline films, but does it hurt to shed some light on the character who becomes his wife? Y'know, someone who's one half of a couple, and (ideally) just as important as the other half?

Sigh. Of course, we never see this bit about her in the films: not during a conversation between Lucy and another character, not even a mention or a flashback (though correct me if I'm wrong and overlooked a movie that does mention or hint at it; if not, my point stands).

Not long ago, I brought this up with a friend, and I hypothesized that the reason why this was never implemented in some way in the films is because it's too dark for a kids franchise like Despicable Me, even though I can argue that several other kids series have elements that are as dark or even darker than that: my friend brought up Frozen 2 and Elsa dying, meaning you could definitely insert legitimately dark moments into a kids film. Hell, I can bring up The Lion King, which has Mufasa dying to the wildebeest stampede after Scar lets him go, traumatizing Simba; in fact, Mufasa's death impacts Simba even in adulthood, showing that childhood trauma can have an effect even after growing up.

In any case, it IS possible for a kid's film to be quite mature, but Lucy's backstory? Just thrown into the wind, especially in regards to the films after DM2.

Like, can you imagine the effects of such an event on her psyche? What would Lucy think of villains after her parents died? Would she ever have thoughts of revenge? Forgiveness? Would she hide it from her husband, the kids, or even her past dates? (She mentions having gone on a few bad dates in DM2 and that's the reason why she keeps a lipstick taser.) What would her life be like after they died: would she live a mostly normal life, or would she be trained to be an AVL agent at a fairly young age? Heck, would Silas know that her parents died when a villain attacked them, and would he and the AVL do something about it, perhaps avenge their deaths?

So many questions, so much wasted potential.

(Here's me crossing my fingers for a TV series that'll probably never happen, because I think Lucy's past could be explained well in that format.)

But now I'll turn to a much lighter note and the real cut of lamb of this post.

Going back to my headcanon that Silas is Lucy's adoptive father, I noticed something interesting in DM2.

During Gru and Lucy's wedding, notice the number of frills on Lucy's dress and Agnes' dress? They're both the same, and if you think about it, Agnes was the one who was the most enthusiastic about the idea of Lucy marrying Gru, implying she looked up to Lucy in high regard and thus wanted to dress up like her for the wedding.

"But Vulture! What about the note saying 'same color as Lucy's usual attire'? What's that got to do with anything?" That's likely to show how much Gru loves her, to the point he dresses up with the same color she usually dresses up in. You know what Lucy's usual getup looks like? If not, here you go.

Light-ish shade of blue, right? Now, look at this.

Maybe I've taken crazy pills or need to have my eyes checked, but I don't recall seeing any other AVL personnel having something that's just as light blue on them. I'm pretty sure in reality it's all just to help create a unique character design, to make them stand out from the generic AVL agents, but yeah. It's just something that I noticed, there's nothing to officially confirm that Silas and Lucy have some sort of close connection with each other other than they're both with the AVL.

But given my observation of "character dresses a bit like another character they admire or at least respect," you can sort of see why I have that headcanon.

I still find it interesting how Silas is around Lucy in comparison to when he's around Gru, in that he's never actually antagonistic toward her or any of his other spies and doesn't doubt her skills. Of course, since one of them is essentially a former criminal, it makes sense that he'd have some animosity toward Gru. Heck, I'm pretty sure Silas might've even been hostile to Gru way back then after Minions 2 since Silas told Gru to "stay out of trouble, kid," only for Gru to break that promise by becoming a thief anyway. However, given that Silas appears at the wedding and even helps Gru, Lucy and their children move to a safehouse in DM4, it's clear that things got better for both of them.

About the fic that I mentioned earlier in this post, I based it on this headcanon specifically, along with a few others that I wrote down on a list. There, Silas adopts an orphaned Lucy shortly after her home was destroyed by a villain and her parents were killed. Traumatized that she survived but they didn't, she often gets worried and nervous, even having a hard time at a new school. She also has to contend with living with Silas, who has his own problems to deal with, from being in charge of the AVL and a few things from his past, including his own family. (And yes, I did create OC family members, and Silas' relationship with them is... a bit complicated to say the least.)

All in all, I wanted to try my hand at writing something that explores familial themes, struggles, and dynamics, especially since I feel they aren't handled as well after 2. Plus, I get to play with some tropes and elements present in the canon Despicable Me films (and, rather appropriately enough, other spy/espionage works like James Bond), except instead of a(n ex-)supervillain with his adopted daughters, it's with the AVL director and his (fan'verse) adopted daughter.

*sigh* And now this post is done! It's been a long one, but I just wanted to type out my thoughts on a few things related to a fic I'm currently working on and because I feel upset that things could've worked out better in canon.

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #14 (Part 1)

IT'S TRAUMA TIME BABY WHOOO YEAH I LOVE TRAUMA!!! NOT AS IN LIKE. NOT AS IN LIKE THE BAD KIND OF TRAUMA BUT AS IN PKNA #10: TRAUMA YEAH WHOOOO YEAH!!!!!

Raw asf title panel btw. You know you're in for some crazy shit.

Btw everyone this is Gorthan he's like the One singular relevant Evronian that you should know by name. That's for later but just remember that he reads Shakespeare I guess.

SNOOZER ALERT. look at his fuckass slippers.

Btw is it just me or does this guy kinda look like Launchpad. Like Launchpad if he got stuck on an Evronian prison planet I guess.

BIG FUCKING GUY ALERT!!! Also good art alert god ough the cross hatching here...

OH MY GOD IT'S THE KING FROM DARKWING DUCK

Ok so like. I can understand the gang of street Elvis impersonators. But a bunch of guys cosplaying as roman soldiers? What, do the gangs in Duckburg just do LARPing in their free time now???

I mean... can you really BLAME him for thinking you were one of the criminals...

like......

Xerbian?? haha...... uh oh

OF COURSE HE HAS A FUCKING DARTBOARD WITH PK'S FACE ON IT 😭

YEAAAHHHH LET'S RUN HIM OVER

LOVE the creative use of paneling here, having him grab onto the negative space. I wouldn't consider myself an expert on comic book art by any means, but it's always cool to see fun stuff like this!

No it's NOT plain to see, tf are you talking about 😭 what kind of gang brings in a giant fucking shredded purple guy to settle their disputes

Donald has been acting like a tough guy this whole comic but he turned babygirl real quick here

Y'know sometimes I'm hit with like a brief moment of clarity where I realize that I'm sitting and reading a Donald Duck comic about him fighting a giant alien and then having self-critical introspection about what it means to be defeated by fear. And then I'm like "damn that's crazy."

Anyways now he's thinking about getting really buff

OOH YEAH BABY BIG FUCKIN ROBOT TIME!!!

BIG FUCKING ROBOT ALIEN FIGHT YES!!! THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK I CAME HERE FOR!!! THIS IS WHY I STARTED READING THIS SERIESSS

Sorry I'll stop getting insanely fucking excited over this battle but like look at em go!!

Small detail that I really love here is the switch to the more simple paneling style for the flashback portion, reminiscent of the old comics. A nice touch :3

First of all. Rawest comic spread I ever did see. SECOND OF ALL. I think I looked at this photo like 5 different times before I realized that there's a tiny little Uno in the suit lol look at him

:0

Anyways RIP bozo + L + ratio + get Donald Ducked idiot. Trauma literally met one singular guy that broke through his mind powers and he just died instantly (or like I guess he survived and got taken back by the Evronians but like who gaf we're not gonna see him again GOODBYEEE don't let the door hit your ass on the way out)

And of course you all know what time it is... that's right... Angus Tales. yaaay... (ok Angus hate aside I actually do like the Angus Tales comics like they're pretty fun and they have a silly art style that I like)

Never speak to me like that again or I'm filing a restraining order

Why are all these people severely jaundiced

I just TOLD you bro he has jaundice. can't you read

I wanna shame him for being racist but like are any of us really surprised here

THEY MADE HIM GO TO A FURRY CONVENTION

Ok I will in fact be back again later this week to read Donald Duck Twilight. Which I specifically requested be paired with Trauma in the same week because I thought it would be funny 🦇

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying that my boyfriend would deserve it if he died in the Titan submersible implosion?

I figure it's far enough out from the argument itself now that I can post this. I (27M) and my boyfriend (29M) come from very different backgrounds.

He grew up in a wealthy family. His family isn't, like, billionaire rich--his father is a semi-prestigious actor--but they can, for example, eat at michelin star restaurants on a regular basis, pay for all their kid's ivy league educations, drop thousands of dollars on an impromptu trip to Europe for no reason, and so on and so forth. Which, like, good for them! Genuinely, I'm glad my partner and his family did not struggle with money growing up.

I, on the other hand, grew up in poverty. I didn't have any formal schooling until I got my GED and enrolled in college. I grew up food insecure, living in a very poor area, and frequently had periods of time where my family could not afford to pay our bills. I was extremely lucky to be able to go to college, and I only managed to pay for it due to spending basically all of my free time either working or applying for every niche scholarship I could find. Even now, several years into my career, I pretty much live off of rice and lentils so I can pay rent.

All this to say: Neither of us would consider ourselves pro-corporation or billionaire, but my boyfriend is sometimes more sympathetic to wealthier individuals due to his background. We do not currently live together, which is not because of the aforementioned, but is relevant.

A while back, my boyfriend's grandfather came to stay with his parents. His grandfather was, at the time, not feeling well--coughing, sneezing, the works. He pretty obviously had COVID. Nevertheless, my boyfriend took the 4 hour drive to spend time with him, and wouldn't you know it, he got sick. He stayed at his parents house until he got better. I decided not to make the drive to see my boyfriend, and stayed at my apartment. This is because I am immunocompromised and would prefer not to. Y'know. Die.

While my boyfriend was out, the whole debacle with the Titan submersible occurred, which I kept an eye on and made some memes about. A couple days after they found the wreckage, my boyfriend became coherent enough to have a phone conversation. While talking to him, I told him the story of what happened, the details about the submarine, the $250k ticket price, and so on.

He seemed indifferent until I brought up the 19 year old on board. He then seemed very upset, especially when he found out the kid didn't want to go in the first place. I tried to assure him that most of the memes were not about the kid, but he was having none of it. He seemed very sad, and said something along the lines of "I hope I don't go out like that."

I was confused. I didn't think his parents were so rich they would be able to afford that, but I figured it was just a hypothetical. My boyfriend has a big fear of death, and I often need to reassure him about things like this. "Well," I replied, "If you're worried about that, I can assure you that's an easy death to avoid. Just don't do dumb shit like that."

He then got VERY upset. "What do you mean??? Are you saying I'd deserve to die like that???"

Me: "I mean, that's not what I was saying? But you're not 19, you're almost 30, and you're not financially dependent on your parents. Also, your parents aren't nearly that rich, and even if they were, I know them, and they are not nearly that stupid. So, at that point, to get into that situation, you would need to personally drop $250k on a ticket, then weld yourself inside of an experimental deep sea submarine controlled via text message and an xbox controller. Like, there are several steps you personally could have Not taken to avoid being in this situation, including simply not deciding to be on an underwater death trap. So, yeah, that'd be on your head."

He then got even MORE upset, and started yelling about how insensitive I was being. After some back and forth, I got it out of him that he had been speaking metaphorically--that, from his perspective, I was saying that I thought he deserved to die of COVID, because he had made the choice to spend time with his grandfather despite knowing he had COVID.

I assured him that no, that was not what I was saying in the slightest, and he calmed down, but I was still upset. He had been yelling at me, after all, and it legitimately didn't occur to me that he was speaking metaphorically, while I was still on the very literal experimental submarine.

I asked one of my friends/his other partner (30M) about it after it happened, and he laughed and said that my boyfriend was being ridiculous. It's been several months at this point, it was a silly argument, I'm not going to bring it up again (because that would be weird) and I'm sure he's forgotten all about it. That said, if I'm being honest, I still feel kind of indignant that he immediately assumed I was secretly hoping he was going to die in a submarine. Am I being insane here?

What are these acronyms?

[eleneressea]

In your time travel maedhros au, how are things going between Feanor and Fingolfin since Maitimo got sent to Lorien and it’s becoming increasingly obvious that he and Findekano have feelings for one another. How’s Finwe dealing with all this?

Finwë is doing extremely bad about all this! But mostly for Míriel-related reasons.

Maitimo goes back to just about when Morgoth gets released, and the Ungoliant Incident happens not that long after Fëanor makes the Silmarils, so the Fëanor-Fingolfin relationship is actually not that bad because Morgoth hasn't had a chance to really get the lies going yet. They don't get along, they're still rivals and the family situation is still complicated, but they aren't enemies. This means that there's a chance that they can patch things up. Fëanor is dealing with his "Am I a bad parent?" crisis and knows that Maitimo would like him and Fingolfin to get along, so he's putting in an effort to not snap at Fingolfin. too much. Fingolfin, meanwhile, is very aware that Maitimo saved Findekáno, so he's working on being nicer to Fëanor, and the result is…several very awkward conversations. but they're polite very awkward conversations.

Once Maitimo wakes up and starts manipulating uh I mean influencing his family from his sickbed,* the awkward conversations increase in length and frequency. At one point Fëanor even ventures a comment about Indis that isn't a veiled insult! The bar may be low but they're clearing it!

It is, unfortunately, not obvious that Findekáno and Maitimo have feelings for each other. Emotions are high! Maitimo saved Findekáno's life! Findekáno staying by Maitimo's sickbed and clutching his hand…is not necessarily romantic when he nearly died for you, y'know? So Maitimo knows that Findekáno has feelings for him (because future) but Findekáno thinks that nobody knows how he feels, and to be fair very few people do,** same for Maitimo. They're pining.

*guy arranged large land deals with Thingol in the single year between the Eagle rescue and his abdication; as soon as he's coherent he's going to be judiciously telling his cousins and siblings things to get them to do what he wants. Sometimes that's fomenting rebellion among the Teleri, sometimes that's more pillows and extra treats.

**to wit: Maitimo, Anairë, Ambarussa, Galadriel. Anairë knows her eldest, Ambarussa and Galadriel were (separately) sneaking around eavesdropping and heard Findekáno telling an unconscious Maitimo about his feelings. Galadriel is about four and doesn't understand romantic love yet; Ambarussa think it's very funny. They've nicknamed him "Findekáno Astaldo" sarcastically for his great bravery in confessing his feelings to someone who is unconscious and can't hear him.

[where-the-water-flows]

character asks—hit me up with your hottest jiao liqiao takes

JIAO LIQIAO my best beloved nightmare failgirlboss. she cannot malewife for very long but by god can she manipulate and murder.

favorite thing about them honestly I love that she has a goal and she fucking goes for it, zero hesitation. is it a good, reasonable goal? well no. she would have been better finding someone to fixate on who was not somewhere on the utterly asexual to entirely homosexual spectrum, but y'know, can't win them all. A+ dedication, F- execution.

least favorite thing about them the laugh the laugh I know it is like, the most standard trope signifier thing but the high pitched ahHAHEHEHA laugh is always so jarring in a 'pulls me right out of the narrative' kind of way, I know it is petty but also oh my god please. please you sound like a second rate cartoon villain. please. On a more character less shallow note, bestie babygirl please stop playing with your food. it literally never works out for you, for the love of god. please learn your lesson after the eighth time it bites you in the ass. (also like on the one hand, I would love for her to not have a plot centered around how she is deeply unhinged for/about a man. but on the otherhand, like, idk, I think she's fun. terrible awful etc, but also, she's putting the fun in extremely dysfunctional <3)

favorite line look I love so much every unhinged word out of her mouth, especially the argument she has with snow master when he's like 'girl that man is gay/ace the magic incense amnesia did not make him suddenly not gay/ace he is Manipulating You' and she is like 'lalalala not listening he loves me also we both know that man can't/won't lie to save his life, also also if he is lying I'll mutilate him and keep him like a purse pet <3 but he's not lying. because he loves me.' I recognise that is not a line but like. you know what I mean.

brOTP uhhh I don't really know that she... has... bros. like I guess granny blood (rip), who is basically always full 'yes girl get your man he will def love you this time' in the manner of someone who knows that her friend is lusting after a guy who is 1)not ever going to be interested even if he wasn't 2)very gay/ace and is 3)probably mid at best in bed no matter how much her friend is like SEX GOD. like the most 'yeah girl go get your man!!!! (why that man though have you considered any other man literally there are so many other men) oh no, def the red lipstick, he'll love you in that (but why him for the love of god just buy a vibrator)' that said, I do think the wildly divergent au where li xiangyi ends up 1)aware of nanyin bloodline like. Early On 2) jinyuan alliance aligned, he and his cousin jiao liqiao would be a hilarious pair of nightmares. absolutely ends in disaster for everyone, including them and definitely including di feisheng, I have an entire stupid au vaguely plotted out about this, it is purely nonsense. compels me though.

OTP no<3 that said, like, obviously I do not want the boys to be mmmmm torture mutilated noncon wifed as the otp of my heart, but also, I think jiao liqiao deserves a harem of moderately to severely brainwashed/mutilated/etc malewives! as a treat! god forbid women do anything. I contain multitudes, the dirty joke here is left as an exercise for the reader.

nOTP shan gudao. I just. I think it would be a mess, and not even a fun one. like as an actual relationship I mean, not proxy fighting spy vs spy manipulation But With Sex kinda bullshit, that's fine and fun, but they are not romantically compatible except as a triad where the third part of it is the idea of the man they are individually personally psycho/sexually obsessed with. which I guess makes it like. a weird poly U, with two theoretical ends. weird poly u with them mostly egging each other on in their dysfunction, 100% fine, any sort of Actual Healthy Relationship, no. also, therapy. I think therapy would only make her worse, but on the off chance it did not, I don't want that for her. she's a nightmare! again, god forbid a woman do anything.

random headcanon she was literally never expected to take the throne, nor expected to be the primary way that her particular fork of the nanyin royal line passed down. which means she likely has at least one sister and probably a brother. I don't know if this is backed up or contradicted by canon, but also, she was raised knowing she was nanyin royalty (??) but also was allowed to just fuck off into the jianghu at age [mlc timeline is nonsensical]. like if that is your single heir of the bloodline you have been carefully keeping alive and aware of how they were The True Imperial Family, you are not letting said heir go out and get their ass killed playing with swords. therefore. youngest child jiao liqiao. no further questions, you know in your heart I'm right. less world logistics based, I think she absolutely can't fucking cook, but, crucially, feels that she is fucking aces at it. does she cook? irrelevant, also no obviously not, she is a lady of rank, we have servants for that. but, crucially, she feels in her heart that she is a great cook. not that she cares about it. but again, she is great at it. this is never challenged because 1)di feisheng, the one person I can see her lowering herself to actually cook for, does not pay attention to the taste of food unless he has amnesia, and thus he's certainly not going to be like 'you suck at cooking, ew'. 2) if you are not di feisheng are you going to challenge fucking saintess on her bad cooking? no! she will stab you in the eyeball with a chopstick.

unpopular opinion honestly I don't know that I have that many unpopular opinions on her. other than that she's fun. a nightmare and like, deeply uncomfortable as a character with how incredibly rapey she is, obviously. but fun! she is a problematic queen. terrible woman who really sort of stands out as one of the few of the main cast who uh...doesn't really seem to have any reason behind the terribad decisions she makes other than there is something Wrong With Her, but again, god forbid, etc.

song i associate with them Girlfriend, by Avril Lavigne; the early 2000s angry brat pop is just. so on brand. see also, so much for my happy ending. (also, this has given me the image of idea of early 2000s scene kids jinyuan alliance, which is the funniest fucking thing in the world to me. I don't know what sigu sect would be, but it's just so fucking funny.)

favorite picture of them quick and nasty screencap bc this response has already taken me two days, but like. the whole turn on li lianhua when he's in chains and she's like 'oh you're dangerous to talk to', I just. I feel so abnormal about it. she is so hot and scary.

[msfcatlover]

*sigh* Y'know what? I love how my Reverse!Robins verse has canon-esque time weirdness. No, not time travel weirdness, I mean that weird time-dilation thing comics do where when you do the math on ages/events, it stops making sense. It lets me imagine the timeline on which they would've actually been published as comics in order to explain that time weirdness, and that's really fun to think about.

Like, Steph's daughter is the obvious example. Steph has Luna and chooses to keep her. The baby grows up in roughly real time, probably about 2-4yrs of baby into toddler-dom. Steph dies. Everyone says Steph died at 16. Steph's gravestone says she died at 16. Steph herself will tell you she died at 16. But she definitely did not have her baby at 14, no, the way everyone talks about it, Steph had to be 15-16 when she had Luna... but that was definitely a toddler her mother took from the manor.

Why? Fuck it. Comics. Steph had her baby when she was 15, died a few months later, and the baby was 2.

Or, like, Duke's time as solo head of the Titans, and how long it took for him to fade himself out to let Jon & Damian take over. Probably took place over the course of several years, with Duke gradually becoming less involved with the Titans on each subsequent event/mission, but it's cool! Because about 1yr into that story, Duke got his solo series as the Signal! You can still get your Duke Thomas content, but you have to pay separately now. How long did this take in-universe? "A couple months." That's what everyone says whenever they reference that time. "A couple months." Maybe occasionally someone will get more specific. "Two months," they say in one issue. "Three months," they say in another. "Half a year," one comic says, but everyone agrees to ignore that one because it's way too long of a time frame.

Steph joins the Titans after Damian takes over. Grant Emerson leaving the Titans is what convinces Duke to fully give up on managing both the team, his civilian life, and being Gotham's only daytime hero, because he can't believe he let Grant's mental health slip through the cracks like that. Logically, this means Grant & Steph couldn't possibly have known eachother for more than a few weeks.

Fuck you. They're great friends. They were super close. Got along like a house on fire. Grant was included in the scenes of Steph's funeral, in the background at least, because they were important to eachother. Titans fans from that time period get pissy if you forget about their friendship the same way YJ98 fans get pissy about people forgetting Tim's friendships with their favorite YJ characters. Grant is the first non-Gotham hero (well, retired hero) who reaches out to Steph after her return and it's super fucking emotional.

How long was Tim Shadow? Probably 3-5yrs, real world time. How long on the timeline, once you do the math? 3 months, max. Absolutely no explanation for how he did all that training, finished all those cases, had a whole arc of proving his place, worming his way into his siblings' hearts, learning how to be an older sibling, and stepping up as a major mentor figure for Jason in 3 months.

Tim had at least 3yrs worth of bonding time with the family, and no, I will not make it make sense. I've given up. I'm embracing the messiness. This way is more fun, actually. It is legit fun to explain away my own timeline holes with real world comics publishing practices.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1 of bracket one

Propaganda:

For Richard:

Context : Swordspoint was published in 1987. Several characters are explicitely gay/bisexual, including... the main character (well, Ellen Kushner is part of the community. I met her once at a signing and I was so awkward and she and her wife (who cowrote the third volume of the series) were so nice. She's also on tumblr. What a wonderful world)

So, let's go back to Richard, who lived in the country with his mother and learnt his trade for a weird guy who eventually died. Richard is a sword prodigy (he also started quite young and trains constantly - natural talent is a thing, hard training is another)

He lives in the "poor" part of the city, where prostitutes, thieves, innkeepers and seamstresses prolifer

Richard does learn the blade and eventually goes into the city. Where he becomes a swordman for hire. Famous, respected and feared, Richard isn't exactly the chatty signing-autographs type. People with good sense leave him alone because the ones stupid enough to challenge him didn't live to tell the tale

But one day... Alec happens. Alec's a penniless ex scholar with a feud with the University, a sharp tongue and absolutely not the means to defend it in ill famed places, which is the ones he prefers since he's always looking for trouble dur to his self-destructive tendencies. The first time they met, Alec tries to get on Richaed's ndrves so the other man would kill him. However, Richard finds this man unafraid of him quite amusing. Word's eventually gegs around ghat the gwo are lovers and people din't get on Alec's bad side if they can prevent it (not easy, Alec has Issues. Capital I.) to avoid having todeal with Richard's protectiveness. I mean, I wouldn't want to anger a professional swordman either

Alec teaches Richard how to read because he never knew how to m. He's the perfect damsel in distress until he isn't because his help is needed [mod note: end of propaganda- part one . Didn't leave it as a wall of text since it'd be harder to read]

The archetypal gay (bi) swordsman: he was one of the few queer characters in fantasy fiction back in the 70s when the first book was published, yet he's in an explicitly romantic and sexual relationship with a man, and he is The terrifying swordsman, infamous, terrifying, and frequently hired for his skills. Also the plot of the book revolves around him using his sword skills to rescue his lover and getting rescued back. So. Y'know.

For Dominique:

This traumatized mess of a vampire is So. She's SO. She's bi and fights with a sword and has a dead twin and a fwb relationship with her childhood friend and a badass girlfriend and a "bonding over their mutual feelings for her childhood friend" thing going on with another guy. 

she's gay she's a vampire she has a sword and I love her 

[avelera]

soooo, you know who probably has a TON of Faustus/Mephistophilis fanfiction ideas? That, even if he never writes them, will turn up in his boyfriend's library of all the books ever dreamed of but never written...which may take some influence from his relationship with said otherworldly thought-he-was-a-devil-for-a-while-and-may-not-have-stopped-by-the-1500s boyfriend...

oh my GOD, Anon, oh MY GOD

OAISDAIOSDJS

I need my smelling salts, one moment, OH MY GOD...

...OK I'M BACK

YES, Hob Gadling ABSOLUTELY projected WILDLY onto Kit Marlowe's Doctor Faustus x Mephistophilis. Did he write fic? Maybe, maybe not he definitely jerked off to fic he never wrote, I'm just saying but there are definitely Hob fanfics FOR Doctor Faustus in Dream's library of "books that were never written"

Just... oh my god, look, I've made references across many of my Dreamling fics but especially throughout "Giving Sanctuary" to Hob being utterly obsessed with "Doctor Faustus" and becoming Kit Marlowe's patron for a minute there because of it (which would have been shortly before he died) and having gone to see it so many times that he had it memorized at one point, and it being the first time he had more than a passing interest in the arts or a play (when it wasn't, y'know, his job as a printer's apprentice).

But I will admit, my assumption he'd like it was based a bit on the cliff notes version and my reading of other versions of Faust. Seeing the Arthur Darvill play was so, so vindicating because, uh huh, yeah yeah yeah, Hob was utterly obsessed with this play, and I will accept no criticism.

Like the scene where some men try to kill Faust by beheading him and he ends up just standing there, holding his own severed head in his hand as he comes to life? I bet you Hob absolutely blanched at that scene and wondered if Marlowe had been spying on him during an unfortunate moment (if he hadn't told Marlowe about it himself). Also, all of Faust's misfortunes come from his deal ending when he dies, but he gets a good life until then. Hob Gadling was totally like, "RIP, Doctor Faustus, but I'm different. My life might not always be amazing, but at least I don't have to worry about fuckin' demons dragging my still-screaming soul down to Hell!"

But also just like... the very clear themes of how a seductive, irresistible man will damn you soul to Hell. That knowledge, and learning, and ignoring institutions that try to control you in favor of living the life you want are all sins just has so many layers of what I assume were known-bisexual Marlowe's own conflict with his chosen life vs. his upbringing. And I'm sure those concerns spoke to Hob's own fears around this spectacular life he has (especially in the 1500s) and the lingering fear that one day he might have to pay the piper.

But yes, Doctor Faustus x Mephistophilis is like the original vampire seduction. Hob canonically worried specifically that he made a bargain with the Devil, that play would have raised the hair on the back of his neck but also... Mephistophilis is hot? And he and Doctor Faustus are like weird fucked up tragic soulmates? Yeah Hob had so, so (so so so) many feelings about this play!

[captainbuzzkill999]

"I was an Overlord once, y'know? Yeah. And, uh, it was nice to have that power. But, when you're dealing with souls, while also being a gambler, the stakes are pretty high. And losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous. So, when you're down on your luck, you'll turn to anything to keep you afloat. Even making deals yourself. So, I know what it's like to... regret the choice you made, and...know when you can't take it back." ☓aesthetic and amazing promo made by: @ofmoraliity [ about my portrayal of Husk]

The best way to describe Husk is an alcoholic pessimistic old man been through the wringer a lot causing him to bealive that nothing good happens. Husk's actual name is Henry and changed it to Husk upon arrival to hell, his father was not a kind person he was very abusive and would take their anger out on their son, his mother died in child birth and as a teenager left home. As a child their only comfort was magic and learning magic tricks. Henry got married just before he was drafted into the Vietnam War where he befriended several of their comrades and would show off their magic tricks who ended up being killed exploded right before his eyes because his voice was drowned out then he was captured and tortured and left for dead but was saved, so he has PTSD about of those things and one of the reasons he's such a tormented soul. When Henry returned from war he found his beloved wife had died.

Before being drafted into war and getting married Henry was in a Mafia for awhile which is how he met his wife. Their death was suicide by means of alcoholic poisoning upon finding out about their wives death and killed himself unable to handle the pain and greif it caused him. how he ended up in hell because of violence against himself but he's done bad things in their life he knows it but why they ended up in hell is not something Husk remembers.

Following their death and manifesting in hell. While Alastor was killing the past overlords, Husk at one point too was a deal maker he would ask sinners if they'd like to test their luck with them and play a gambling game. He was a deal maker that would force sinners for their payment to be their souls if they try to back out he will kill them. He came to be called the gambler of souls becoming influential and gaining a fearsome reputation became an overlord who's vice is greed. He was an overlord for a long time until Alastor beats them at their own game and now owns their soul. Once under Alastor's ownership he's just a grumpy old man who just wants to drink his heart out and is very jaded and is very obstinate. Although the radio demon owns them not for a second time and let him transform into their pet and let him win them a second time, if he wants a pet cat then they'll have do more then they already have

[hello-there-world]

anyway, have more...idk, niche?? obscure?? idk, these Rewrite headcanons are just random things that range from projection to things i think would be cool for them:

alright...ripping the band-aid off: Toxic Old Man Yaoi (it gets one-sided on William's end after...Y'know) is canon to the Rewrite. alright moving on-

(listen. i wasn't expecting to get into it. I Really Wasn't. and then it grew on me. and then i saw That One Line from the novels where someone stumbled on William's journals and read the parts about Henry and i just kinda went ??? oh so that's an actual line?? holy shit?? because i had seen someone post the line before but i didn't know if it was like. an actual line from the books. oh my lord.)

William wasn't exactly subtle, but unfortunately for him, Henry had the Autism Obliviousness (same here, bestie).

Claire, William's (now dead) wife, was actually aro, and viewed her and William's relationship as some sort of Lavender Marriage, because to her, she gets to raise the kids she wanted, and William gets to be gay for his business partner-

Anna also didn't mind too much, mostly because (unbeknownst to her at the time) she was a lesbian and already didn't really feel that way about Henry to begin with. she was more upset about the fact that Henry was so damn Oblivious.

Henry always struggled with his balance (i'm projecting), but before he got his cane, he'd lean on things for support or hold onto someone. Will would also help him get around by holding his arms or even hands. did i mention Will was not subtle.

William and Henry did Not have good childhoods. it's part of the reason why they're Like That with their own families (Henry being a good dad but a pushover, and William not being physically or verbally abusive, but being emotionally abusive instead because he's That paranoid about screwing up, and then ends up screwing up in another way).

William's obsession with rabbits and hares isn't purely a Special Interest thing (although that is a huge part of it), it's...also kinda partially something that came from some Childhood Trauma stuff, as well as kinda being a therian thing.

speaking of! 4/6 members of the Afton Household have some therian/otherkin shit going on. William is ockin (i don't think this one needs much explanation. like. i think the guy pretty much kins his own oc) and is a hare/rabbit therian. Michael is a dog/fox therian. Elizabeth is also a rabbit/hare therian. Cassidy is plushkin (look. do i even need to explain this one), and it's part of the reason he uses a lot of toy/broken toy metaphors for himself after he dies.

for William, being O'Hare was kind of this...escapism thing. he can be his true, genuine self and he isn't viewed as annoying for it. if anything, people find him lovable. he can be a playful silly hare and he's looked up to for it. but...after he becomes Springtrap, after years of being locked in a back room, stuck in building filled with spirits who either hate or fear him...at some point, William stops pretending he isn't a sadistic monster. it's hard to deny it. and so he doesn't. Springtrap is effectively William fully embracing being O'Hare....but becoming twisted at the same time, if that makes sense.

it's like...imagine you see this rotting green-yellow bunny that CLEARLY has a rotting corpse inside, but it's acting eerily cheerful and treating (checks notes) Chasing You Down With The Intent To Maim And/Or Murder You as a fun game you're both enjoying. yeah, by this point, William kinda Lost It (and by "kinda" i mean He 100% Did)

this is how several Fazbear employees died or Almost died by the way. Fazbear Entertainment owes them so much for therapy, both physical AND mental-

Michael struggles to figure out if he's dealing with Actual paranormal shit or if it's just hallucinations and stuff that he's having out of guilt and grief (USUALLY, it is the former)

Mike once dislocated one of his knees on the school playground back in elementary school (me projecting), and William practically spoiled him rotten during that time. Michael hated it, hated asking his father for help, hated being treated any different. but...with Charlie and his friends, it's like he was perfectly fine asking for help, welcoming of any assistance. oh well! i'm sure there's no deeper meaning to any of that- (something something "Fearing Dependency Yet Also Craving It")

Michael hates the fact he looks so similar to his father.

Jeremy's favorite song is "Mickey" by Toni Basil. take a wild guess why.

William and Cassidy are both technically nonbinary. William never figured it out because he never knew that there Were options besides Man and Woman. probably would've loved it/its pronouns. and neopronouns. Cassidy never figured it out for Obvious Reasons. look, both of them would've loved xenogenders and neopronouns. i honestly believe they would've loved those.

fun fact! Cassidy actually has a lot of similarities to William (of which i am All Too Happy to list. just say the word). uh...don't tell Cass that, though. it'd probably piss him off.

both Charlie and Mike inherited their dads' sexualities, technically (Henry and Charlie are Pan, Will and Mike are Bi).

Everyone's queer and a mess in so many different ways! William, just because you aren't hitting your children doesn't mean that you're a good dad. Stop. Read a parenting book. Actually, don't. I can't imagine 1970s-80s parenting books are that good for all that shit.

[littlesparklight]

A bit of a self-indulgent headcanon for a couple things in Ganymede's possession at least by the point of post-Trojan War:

A set of golden knucklebones (he has been cheated out of them by Eros at least once, but he's gotten them back).

The two immortal stallions, named Xanthos and Lampos, that Zeus gave to his father Tros as part of the bride price cough gifts given after he was taken to Olympus. No, Herakles, you can not have them. Ganymede both rides them and uses them as a dedicated chariot team at times (before he got them, he was just using whatever horses were available if he wanted to take a chariot somewhere).

The golden dog Rhea had once made to guard the infant Zeus, and which Zeus later set to guard one of his shrines on Crete. It's as much companion as hunting dog. (And it's kinda nice to have a companion pet that doesn't, y'know, die after what's become a very short time only.) He calls her Xanthe.

Several items rescued by various pro-Trojan deities from Troy prior to the sack/the city being burned. These aren't the only things from Troy, or Luwian items in general, Ganymede has because he's picked up/been given ones before that, but they carry a meaning certainly different from most of the other ones. (Other things he has from home, and that was actually his/his closest family's at some point; a blanket from his bed, and an old wooden toy horse, both carefully preserved through the years in his shrine in Troy. Two rings; one his mother gave him, the second his brother Ilus when he got to say goodbye as his parents died. What he was wearing the day he was taken.)

Eventually, the Palladium. I do follow that it was in Rome until somewhere post-CE, so Ganymede doesn't get it until after that. But at that point, definitely; who deserves it better than one of the family it was first made for/given to?

Same goes for a length of golden vine (with some gold grape clusters on it and everything); another of the gifts given to Tros, which was eventually sent to Eurypylus' mother by Priam to convince her to let her son come to Troy's defense. Again, as one of the divine gifts given to his father, it ends up where it belongs afterwards; in the hands of the one who it was compensation for.

The constellation Aquarius ;)