#been a hot sec since i wrote anything lol

[television-overload]

'sh-boom' (an X-Files fanfic)

Like usual, I caved and instead of leaving my "someone should write this" post be, I wrote it myself. I'll tag some people that expressed interest in this prompt below the fic! Shout out to @baronessblixen who already wrote the perfect Scully-accidentally-kisses-Mulder fic. You can read that here!

Now, for Mulder accidentally kissing Scully cause he dreams about her all the time.... takes place February 1998, mid-Season 5.

Read on Ao3

There’s a trick to fighting insomnia, Mulder had discovered. Not a cure, by any means, but an improvement, nonetheless. All you need is a super off-limits best friend you’ve fallen stupidly in love with, spend practically every waking hour of the day with her, and then spend the rest of your time thinking about her until your exhausted and delusional mind has mercy on you and blesses you with her presence in your unconscious state.

A foolproof plan, really. Scully had even noticed he seemed more well-rested and happier in the last few weeks, so something had to be working.

Although, there were—he had to admit—a few rather notable side effects.

Despite what others might tell you, Fox Mulder was not one to have trouble distinguishing between fiction and reality. Usually. But in his defense, his dreams were very, very vivid, and there had been a time or two that he’d referred to something Scully had said, only to realize at her blank stare that it was the figment of her in his imagination who’d said it.

“Must have been someone else I was talking to,” he’d awkwardly say, thankful that she kept her mouth shut about the fact that there was no one else he’d have such conversations with, and they both knew it.

He’d also been on the receiving end of more than a few raised eyebrows and patented “what is wrong with you?” looks, which were well-deserved for catching him staring even more than typical. Sure, he was sleeping better at night, but his brain was now trained to find restfulness when thinking about Scully, which was pretty much an all-day thing too. Sitting across from her in their isolated little office for extended periods of time made his eyes glaze over and eyelids droop halfway shut. Oh, the horror… he probably looked like a drunk idiot. He hoped he at least looked somewhat normal, not like a drooling dope with a dumb smile on his face who was clearly not having a productive day at work.

What would old doctor Pavlov have to say about this sorry scenario?

His consolation was that Scully already knew he was weird, and stuck around anyway, so he had no qualms against going home night after night and picking up where he’d left off in Scullyland the night before. Let’s see, he was just about to their son’s first little league baseball game, of which Mulder was the coach, of course. “Scully, don’t forget, we signed up to bring snacks for the team after the game.”

Behind closed eyes he saw her raise her arm to show him the already packed bag she was holding, an exasperated but loving look in her eye. “Always one step ahead of me,” he said fondly. With practiced ease, they danced around each other in the kitchen of a fairly unremarkable house, grabbing sunscreen, sunglasses, water bottles, keys… “Alright, sport, get in the car! Bus is leaving!” he called out, smiling as the sounds of little footfalls preceded the sight of his freckle-faced son, clad in shiny new baseball cleats.

“Got your glove?”

“Yep.”

“Your bat?”

“Yep.”

“Spitting tobacco?”

“Daaaad…”

“Mulder!”

“I’m just kidding, get in the car, will you? Coach Fox can’t be late, it’s unprofessional.”

“Wait I forgot my seeds!”

A minivan. Perfectly unremarkable. Admittedly, very comfortable, and spacious.

“Fox…” Scully mused with a shake of her head as she buckled her seatbelt.

“What? All the great baseball legends have weird nicknames. I just happen to have been born with mine.”

“The Great Bambino!” a little voice piped up from the back, glancing out the window as they ventured forth into the miles and miles of farmland.

“That’s my boy. ‘Oil Can’ Boyd. ‘Cool Papa’ James Bell. ‘Shoeless’ Joe Jackson. Did you know Lou Gehrig’s teammates called him ‘Biscuit Pants?’”

A giggle from the back seat.

“Alright you’ve made your point.” He loved it when she used that voice, the one that meant she was tired of his antics, but not really. Of course she loved his senseless rambling. She did it too sometimes, albeit with a few more hyper-specific medical terms thrown in there, leaving him unable to do anything other than smile and nod.

When they arrived, they piled out of the van, the messy brown hair of his son—already sweaty somehow, by the way—disappearing into the dugout with a gaggle of other overexcited little boys. “Good luck,” Scully spoke as she planted a kiss on Mulder’s cheek and made her way to the stands, setting up a cushion and portable fan that were sure to be the envy of all the other parents.

The field smelled like grass and dirt and the leather of brand-new baseball gloves just waiting to be broken in. It was a smell straight out of his childhood, of those summer nights on the Vineyard getting eaten up by bugs under the bright lights of the baseball fields. The crack of a ball against a wooden bat. Coming home covered in sweat and dirt and with a kid sister in tow who insisted on playing with the boys.

It was in this dream state where he found peace. Not in the past, but in some amorphous future. A future where he had a family again, a loving home. Where he wasn’t a coward and had a beautiful wife and partner who somehow made everything work. They fought monsters. They went grocery shopping. They filed paperwork with Skinner. He coached little league. They drove to work together. They picked up their son from school.

Baseballs went flying. Teams celebrated their first win. Little boys were tucked into bed, and he kissed his wife goodnight. That’s just how it was.

It was freedom. A freedom he didn’t think he’d felt since his life changed with a flash of light.

In the morning, he’d wake in a haze. With his brain on autopilot, he’d amble about his apartment, brushing his teeth, making coffee, tying on a tie… Caught somewhere in between these worlds of make-believe and reality. It was a benefit of his eidetic memory, he supposed, to be able to remember his dreams and stay in them even after coming to consciousness. Didn’t work out so great when he had constant nightmares, but hey, now that’s been solved too.

Somewhere along his drive to work was usually when reality really set in. He tried to not let it bring him down too much—it was his own fault, after all, that his life bore little resemblance to that which revealed itself in dreams. But he couldn’t help the slight pangs of disappointment he felt when he thought of the lonely couch he slept on every night and the sad state of his fridge.

“Good morning, Mulder,” Scully called out her usual greeting as she breezed into the office.

Mulder’s head lifted off the desk where it had been laying. “Mm—morning.”

Scully chuckled, setting down her bag in her chair and working to remove her heavy coat which she hung on the coat rack. His dream may have taken place in the heat of summer, but it was unmistakably the dead of winter in Washington, D.C.

“Not get enough sleep?” she asked, her amused tone not entirely disguising the genuine concern she felt for him underneath.

“I slept fine,” Mulder answered, “just… still waking up.”

Scully shook her head and let out another low chuckle, taking her seat across from him. She pulled out a file from her bag and began scanning through it, the lamp next to her providing most of the light, as the cloud-covered sky through the skylight threatened to dump a heap of snow on the city.

The day went on like that. Mulder managed to actually get some work done, finalizing some paperwork he’d been putting off (to Scully’s exaggerated shock and disbelief). She, on the other hand, was working on going over some medical reports a field office had sent over for her expert opinion, something that flattered her and made Mulder bloom with pride.

He didn’t even mind that much that they didn’t have a case to work on at the moment. That was another thing that had changed since he’d started indulging in these dreams: he could sit still for five minutes without vibrating out of his skin.

Of course, he’d never stop yearning for the truth, wondering what was out there waiting for him to discover it. But lately, he also found he enjoyed these quiet days where barely a word was spoken between them. It was comfortable. Everything unspoken didn’t need to be said aloud because it was a given—they both knew without saying everything that could possibly be said.

Lunch?

Yes.

Can you hand me a pen?

Sure.

The winter sun set early, and night was well on its way by the time Mulder looked up from his work to check the clock. Sure enough: quitting time. He stood from his desk just as Scully did, making his way over to the coat rack to grab both his and Scully’s coats. She snapped her bag shut with a click as he handed it to her before slipping his arms into his own coat sleeves.

Scully fluffed her hair out from under the collar of her coat. Mulder flicked off the lamp. She draped her bag over her shoulder. He grabbed his own briefcase and circled around his desk toward the door.

“Night, Scully,” he spoke like he did every evening, dipping down to place a quick kiss goodbye on her lips.

He froze.

Lips still touching, he swore he felt his heart stop and his fingers go numb. Somehow amid all the blaring alarm bells and internal screaming, his brain was able to send the signal back away, you idiot! to the rest of his body, and he obeyed, straightening up to look at her with what he knew she recognized as his ‘panic face.’

The only light now was coming from the streetlamps in the parking lot and the gentle snowfall reflecting it down into the office, the dim yellowish light making it difficult to tell what she was thinking. A wiser man would say something, apologize, explain it away, even leave, dang it! Get out of there! But Mulder was frozen. And apparently mute. Just perfect.

The seconds ticked by. Was that clock always so loud? That was it, he’d really gone and done it now, hadn’t he?

A smile formed across Scully’s lips, barely visible in the darkness. She blinked up at him with an oddly relaxed look in her eyes, sparkling in the faint light.

“Night, Mulder,” she replied before patting him twice on the chest above his heart and turning to leave.

It must have been a combination of her words and her touch that eventually broke him from his stupor, because he finally blinked and managed to stumble back to his office chair only to collapse into it, covering his face with his hands and letting out a muffled scream.

What an idiot. What. An. Idiot.

This was the price he had to pay for his risky little endeavor to sleep through the night. Dreaming of Scully had a cost, he should have known it was only a matter of time. He was messing with the delicate balance of things. Mulder and insomnia, insomnia and Mulder. They went hand-in-hand. Trading it in for the much more pleasant musings he had for his partner was too good to be true.

He sat there in horrified, humiliated silence for what felt like hours before finally heading home to what would inevitably be an appallingly horrible night’s sleep.

-.-.-

Mulder hadn’t slept. At all.

He laid awake most of the night staring at the ceiling and mentally berating himself over and over for blurring the lines so much that he’d briefly forgotten he and Scully weren’t actually together. He had every intent to call out of work the next day, and maybe the day after that, every day until he could come up with something to say to make things less awkward between them the next time they’d see each other, but then Skinner called.

His stomach dropped to the floor when the words “I need to ask you something,” crackled through the phone, the gruff voice of his boss sending a chill down his spine. It turned out all Skinner wanted was for Mulder and Scully to check out some reported aquatic dinosaur sightings in a lake in central Kansas, but Mulder still felt dizzy from the adrenaline the initial words had sent coursing through his system.

Against his wishes, he was dressed and in a taxi to the airport before noon, realizing too late that he hadn’t eaten anything either.

As he entered the bustling terminal, he saw Scully standing near the check-in point, dressed in her sensible heels and no-nonsense suit, her suitcase resting on the ground near her tapping foot. She checked her watch and glanced up to the departures sign before scanning the crowd. He winced as her sight settled on him, and picked up the pace.

“Jeez, Mulder, you look awful,” she said by way of greeting.

“Sorry I’m late,” he spoke, hoping to divert any conversation away from what had happened the night prior.

She wasn’t so easily dissuaded, however. “What happened to you? Are you sick?”

It seemed he would have to say something after all. He settled for, “Haven’t had anything to eat.” There. That would throw her off his scent.

Scully’s eyebrows furrowed and she grabbed the handle of her suitcase, beginning to pull it in the direction of their gate. “Well, you can have the other half of my muffin, it’s in my purse.”

He said nothing after that, choosing to follow after her like a lost puppy. They made their way through the metal detectors and had just enough time to get to their gate before they were boarding.

True to her word, just as soon as they’d reached cruising altitude, Scully extracted half a blueberry muffin from her purse and placed it on the tray table in front of Mulder, who was leaning heavily on the wall of the plane, staring blankly out the window. He mumbled his thanks and ate it in 3 clean bites, feeling only slightly guilty for inhaling his food like that in front of her.

Sensing that he wasn’t in a talkative mood, Scully posed a one-word question. “Insomnia?”

Mulder leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

“I thought it was getting better?”

“It was,” he answered, hoping she wouldn’t read into it.

Mulder sat up again, reaching for a book in his bag, but Scully’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. Gently, she pushed him back until he was resting again, forcing his head to the head rest with the soft touch of her hand over his brow.

“Sleep,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

-.-.-

After the rocky start to the day and the awkwardness on his end throughout the flight, Mulder came to the conclusion that Scully was acting perfectly normal, so he might as well do the same. Well, she had kissed him on the cheek, but that wasn’t unheard of, was it? They’d done that before. Sure, it was rare, but she was worried about him. Aside from that, it was as if nothing had even happened, and if Mulder had been just a little more crazy, he might have believed it had all been a dream after all. It wasn’t though, and the touch of her lips on his still burned when he thought about it.

Against his better judgement, on the first night in the motel in central Kansas, he decided to employ his, now patently risky, sleep technique. It didn’t help that his subconscious supplied him with dreams of a family road trip and motels just like the one he was staying in. It took everything in his power not to say, “Wake up, buddy, time to hit the road,” to an invisible—and sadly, impossible—son in the morning. Even harder was it to suppress the words “Morning, beautiful,” from escaping his lips when he first ran into Scully in the lobby.

She seemed appeased that he had actually gotten some rest, at least, when she saw him at breakfast. The day went on without issue. Things between them were… normal. Conditions: good. Weather: frigid. Why they were investigating a potentially cold-blooded creature in the middle of February was beyond him.

He suspected this case would turn out to be yet another wild goose chase. Nothing was living in that water except maybe a very cold and very large escaped alligator from a nearby run-down zoo. Unfortunately, his recent contentment with boring, unexciting cases didn’t seem to apply here. Or at least right now.

To his relief, the local law enforcement decided to handle it themselves and even had the presence of mind to sheepishly apologize for having them come all the way out there. Flights were booked for the next day, following an almost four-hour drive back to Kansas City.

When they arrived back at the motel, Mulder fished out his room key from his pocket and inserted it into the door to unlock it. At the next door over, Scully set her briefcase on the ground before crossing the distance to him right as he turned the handle, stalling him briefly in the doorway. She stood there just long enough to reach up for a quick peck on the lips, the kiss as brief as he had done two nights before.

“Wha—” he mouthed silently, interrupted by Scully’s easy, “Goodnight, Mulder,” leaving him gaping at her in the doorway, his hand still on the doorknob, as she went off to bed.

-.-.-

It was getting harder to tell fiction from reality, and that was tough for Mulder to admit. Scully smiled at him in the morning when she climbed in the passenger seat of their rental car, and for a moment Mulder felt the gnawing feeling that they’d forgotten to put their son in the backseat despite knowing he wasn’t real. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, but that could only help so much.

Her humming half the ride home was straight out of his dreams too, a happy sound that he hadn’t heard much in the months since Christmas and Emily. She even held his hand during takeoff on the plane, not that that was uncommon, but still.

When they finally touched down in the snow blanketed capitol city, she offered to drive him home rather than have him wait for a taxi out in the cold. He gratefully accepted, unable to come up with a valid excuse not to. That was when it happened again.

Once was a mistake. Twice was a fluke. Three times on the lips, and Mulder had some questions. Namely, was he going completely crazy, or did he miss something?

As she pulled up to his building, she put the car in park and stretched across the center console to give him yet another kiss, finishing it with a smile and a, “See you tomorrow, Mulder.”

Unable to tear his eyes away from her lest she fade away like his dreams, Mulder fumbled for the door handle and pushed open the car door, stumbling his way to his feet.

“See you tomorrow,” he managed to respond, in a voice that he felt wasn’t his own.

He started his way toward the entrance to his building in a daze, screeching to a halt when he heard her call out, “Mulder!” through the opened passenger window.

He turned back, croaking out a very eloquent, “Huh?” as he searched for her face in the dark car interior.

“You forgot your bags.”

Oh.

Scully chuckled and popped the trunk for him. He rubbed his hand awkwardly over the back of his neck and trudged his way back to the car to retrieve his possessions, slamming the trunk shut when he was finished. Scully gave a wave out the window and took off into the night, and for a second night in a row, all he could do was stand there and blink in the direction she had disappeared.

-.-.-

Calling out of work would be useless, it wouldn’t help the issue at all. He was more confused than ever, but Scully seemed to be perfectly fine, so it must be his own problem. What if he’d somehow manifested his dream life into his waking one, that by some mystical force, certain elements of it were slipping through into reality? He could open an X-File. Test out his powers of manifestation—if he didn’t completely lose his grip on reality in the process.

In his dream last night, they’d celebrated her birthday, and now he couldn’t remember if they’d already done so, or if he ought to get started on planning something in real life. What day is it again? It was driving him crazy. Crazier than usual.

He would just have to talk to her. Ask her what was up with all the kissing, not that he minded. But was that actually happening? Was he imagining things? If he brought it up, would they go back to what it was like before? Would it get worse? What if he kissed her again? This time on purpose?

Every time he went to say something, his mouth opened and no sound came out. He was sure she’d notice at some point. How embarrassing. Hours ticked by, and before he knew it, it was the end of the day. An epic fail, as far as his attempt to talk to her went.

He stood from his desk with a sigh, resigned to another day of confusion tomorrow, and started toward the door with his bag and coat in tow.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” her voice called from behind him, and there she was, standing by his desk, arms crossed expectantly over her chest. That eyebrow. That darn eyebrow was doing its thing too, what does she mean by that?

“Scully?” he asked, brain tired and worn out from a tumultuous week.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she asked again, uncrossing her arms and shifting in that way that exposed her well-masked nervousness. It was the first sign he’d seen that he wasn’t losing his mind, this really was unusual. And she knew it too.

Eyebrows furrowed, he walked toward her until he was standing right in front of her, desperately trying to read her expression as he looked down at her. Her eyes met his with determination, deliberately holding eye contact when every cell in his body screamed Danger! Run away! There was hope there, too, but Mulder didn’t want to guess what that hope might be for. This was not the moment for guessing.

She was still looking at him expectantly, though, and he couldn’t think of anything else.

Slowly, giving her plenty of time to move away or shoot him if he’d read the situation wrong, he bent toward her, placing one hand over her elbow and the other brushing lightly over the hair covering her ear. Her eyes fluttered shut and her breathing hitched, and there! She was leaning forward too! Not quite standing on tiptoes, but stretching to meet him, nonetheless.

Taking this as a good sign, he closed the rest of the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers, holding them there for one, two, three, four, five seconds before pulling back and letting his arms drop to his sides. His eyes remained tightly shut, afraid to open them and see the disgust or annoyance that would surely greet him.

He swallowed past a lump in his throat, his face pinched in concern, but he dared not move. After a moment, he felt two hands cup his cheeks on either side, the thumbs brushing out the lines of tension around his eyes. Something about the motion coaxed his eyes open, and what he saw wasn’t disgust or annoyance, but a content and relieved smile on the face of his partner.

He was entranced.

“Goodnight, Mulder,” she spoke softly, the same words from the other nights, but with a considerable amount of weight that hadn’t been there before. After a moment more, she began to pull away, and Mulder felt his heart stutter. Without thinking, he stopped her, grabbing her by the upper arms and pulling her to him. His eyes fell shut again as he dove toward her lips, stopping short by a few inches and pressing his forehead to hers instead.

“What is this?” he whispered, desperate to know, needing to put a name to it.

She let out a breathless laugh. “I was hoping you’d tell me.”

“Am I dreaming?”

She laughed again, and man, what he would do to hear that sound every day for the rest of his life.

“I just thought you’d decided to institute a new goodbye ritual, and went with it.”

It was Mulder’s turn to smile in amusement. He hummed.

“No, I’ve dreamt of this,” he murmured, nuzzling her forehead with his. “I thought I was going crazy.”

“If you are, then what does that make me?”

“I don’t know. If not crazy, then what other option is there?”

Reaching to cup the back of his neck, she pulled him ever closer, her next words brushing against his cheek. “I can think of something.”

His eyes opened to see her staring back at him, a flood of emotions he wasn’t sure he could name dancing there, reflecting identical ones in his own. Uncertainty gave way to resolve, and he hoped she would lend him some of hers, because he would surely need it.

He knew it was coming, and still it blew him away.

This time, her kiss was slow… purposeful. He melted into her, pulling her closer with an arm clutching to her waist and the other hand splayed across her shoulder blade.

The fog in his brain prevented him from determining how much time passed, but eventually they had to come up for air, identical smiles gracing their faces.

“I think I know what this is, Mulder, and I think you feel the same way. But if I’m wrong, this is going to be really awkward.” Her words were spoken with laughter, but there was an underlying sense of doubt. Doubt that by no means had any place there.

“No, I think you’re right,” he answered, cupping her cheek with his hand. “I think you’ve got it figured out.”

Her eyebrow went up again and a teasing smile played on her lips. “Can I get that in writing, or…”

He grinned and pulled her to him once more. “Oh, shut up.” And he kissed her.

---

Tagging @agent-troi @welsharcher @hippocampouts @invidiosa @whovianelle @captainsolocide @randomfoggytiger @today-in-fic

[honney-pies]

Ma Cherie ❤︎

Chapter iv: Bona fide

Pairing: Inuokku/ F! Reader

Summary: Sometimes it’s hard to bare the genuine, real parts of your soul, but the more you do, the easier it can be.

Content Warning: major character death, slight gore, ya girl really tried to be descriptive during a fight scene, use of blades, stabbing, ripping limbs off, etc., gay people, (y/n) having sad thoughts about life and people who have died, no-no words, spoilers for jjk season two, and jjk0, lmk if I’ve missed anything and I’ll add it!

Length: 5.5k

A/n: so this chapter mainly evolves around kanae and the tail end of jjk 0. I know it’s a lot shorter than the previous chapter, but their wasn’t a lot left to write lol. I wanted to end it on a happier note cause i need some fluff after the leaks cause wtf gege???? How could you do this to me???? And finally seeing Gojo’s episode in Shibuya (I won’t go into detail cause it only came out two days ago, but you know the one) has devastated me to my core and has left me in shambles. Also it has come to my attention that I’ve been spelling Yuta’s name wrong this whole time so I’m sorry. 😭Anyway, please enjoy!

Ma Cherie Master list

Bona Fide -genuine, real, to be in good faith

─── ⋆⋅ December 2017 ⋅⋆ ── 

When (Y/n) wakes up, she’s in a tangled mess of her lover, and future lover’s, limbs. She opened her eyes to see Satoru standing above her, bandages off as he smiles down at her. 

“C’mon, let’s get breakfast. Megumi-chan is waiting for us at the front,” he whispers. She reaches up and grasps his hand, but the boys’ arms are wrapped tightly around her. She huffs, but she still smiles.

“Gimme a sec, Toru-nii.” He looks down at the girl, a knowing smile on his lips before quietly leaving the room. (Y/n) continues to struggle as she tries to make her way out of the mess of bodies. However, neither boy lets her leave, their arms pulling her closer to their bodies. 

‘Shit, this is really nice.’

 “Toge, Yuta, I need to leave,” she whispers softly. Yuta grumbles before scooting closer to her. (Y/n) feels slightly annoyed at her family for making her leave such a cozy place, but she still knew Satoru wouldn’t have gotten her up if he didn’t need to be near her for his own peace of mind. 

When she finally made her way from her bed, she got to see Yuta and Inumaki tangle themselves together, she snapped a couple photos, some on her first phone where she held the people she cares about the most, on her current phone, and a polaroid. After Suguru left (Y/n) made it a point to take as many pictures as possible, in order to keep as many memories alive as possible.

‘ 12/20/17 - first sleepover together’  (Y/n) smiles softly as she wrote, before getting dressed and slipping out the door. She quickly made her way to the front of the school, spotting her little brother and her dad bickering.

“She doesn’t have two boyfriends, Gojo.”

“She does, Megumi, you need to get over it.” Megumi looks over and spots his older sister and begins walking over to her.

“Do you have two boyfriends, nee-san?” She shakes her head and laughs at Megumi’s victorious ‘ha.’

“No, but we’re slowly getting there.” Megumi whips his head around so fast, (Y/n) nearly got whiplash. 

“What?” She laughs again and reaches up and messes up his hair. He grumbles and swats at her hands. 

“How did you get two boyfriends before I even got one?” She smirks at the boy.

“I’m awesome, have an amazing personality, and I’m hot. Who wouldn’t want me, ‘gumi?” He groans and shoves her away. 

“Where do you want to go for breakfast, Megumi-chan?”  Megumi looks at Satoru and thinks before shrugging his shoulders. The three of them wander around before finding a small place to eat. It has been a couple weeks since they all went out and Megumi talks about the latest documentary he watched before getting up and going to the bathroom. Satoru uses this opportunity to turn to (Y/n).

“I don’t want you in Tokyo.” (Y/n) looks up at him, confused. 

“Chances are Suguru will be in Tokyo, I don’t want you seeing him like that. I’ve already made arrangements for Utahime to watch over you in Kyoto.” (Y/n) watches her dad’s face closely and notices a slight twitch. 

“You’re… you’re gonna kill him, aren’t you?” Satoru looks up at the ceiling, letting out a heavy sigh. He reaches out and grabs her hand, holding it tightly. 

“I don’t have a choice anymore, (Y/n). He’s… he’s hurt too many people, killed too many people. I’ve spent so many years waiting around for him to come back, but you and I both know he won’t. I don’t want you to see that.” (Y/n) frowns at him before kicking his shin to make him look at her.

“I have the right to see him. I have the right to say goodbye. No, I don’t want to see him die, but I at least want to be there to make sure he goes with the people he loves. I’ll go to Kyoto, but I’m going to be there to say bye. No one will take that away from me.” Satoru sighs loudly before nodding his head.

“Fine, but I still don’t think you should.” 

“I know, but I want to.” Megumi comes back to the booth and quickly notices the tense atmosphere. When he goes to question it, (Y/n) shakes her head.

“What do you want for your birthday ‘gumi?” He looks thoughtful for a moment before stating he wants more books. (Y/n) smiles and tells him she’ll make sure to get him some. 

“What do you want nee-san?” She ‘hmm’s before smiling brightly.

“Toru-nii to not give homework!” Satoru looks extremely offended at the very thoughtt.

“I never assign homework in general!” 

“Oh right, uh, well… I guess I don’t really know what I want.” Megumi groans in response. You see, (Y/n) has a lot of things she wants, but she chooses not to say what it is. It’s infuriating and it ends with Satoru closing down a mall and letting her run wild. Some may think that’s an unwise choice financially speaking, but it’s not as bad as when he let her get whatever she wanted from a book store. Now that was a taxing trip. 

Satoru makes sure to get them things on Christmas and on their birthdays and the two get spoiled endlessly, unfortunately some habits are a little tougher to break when it comes to asking for what you want or need. 

While the family began the walk back to school. Megumi was a little more talkative than normal, not that anyone was complaining. It was really nice to hear him be that free when it came to spending time with them, especially since he’s been extra quiet since Tsumiki was not an active member of the family for the time being.

When they were younger, Megumi had a harder time adjusting than Tsumiki. The two girls were close in age and got along rather easily. However, it took years for Megumi to open up and shortly before Tsumiki was cursed did he begin to call (Y/n) his older sister. 

─── ⋆⋅ March 2016 ⋅⋆ ─── 

Tsumiki and (Y/n) were both walking around their middle school to go bother, to check on Megumi. Before they could turn down the second year hall, some boys blocked the hall and began to get in their faces. 

“Wow look at this, some pretty girls came to say hello.”

“Wanna go out with me?” 

“I bet she’s a freak, the quiet ones always are.” The two girls have had to deal with these comments for years, but that didn’t mean they would tolerate it. 

“The fact you think you even have a chance with either of us makes me sick. Move.” The boys still didn’t budge.

“Oh~ I love them feisty! Keeps me interested.” (Y/n) then made her way in front of Tsumiki.

“I’m not asking, move.” One of them scoffed at her, rolling his eyes, “Or what?” (Y/n) went to shove her way past them, and maybe break their micropenis’, with Tsumiki, but before she could, the guy’s face was smashed into the wall with a very angry boy behind him. 

“Do you not have basic manners? When someone says no, or implies no, it means no. Go back to kindergarten if you’ve forgotten. And don’t you ever go near my sisters again, if you do I’ll tear you to shreds.” The three boys ran off, clearly embarrassed, as one of their noses bled. 

“Aw, ‘gumi!” The dark haired boy turned around. 

“What?” (Y/n) and Tsumiki giggled quietly.

“Megumi, you called us your sisters.” The poor boy turned red, becoming uncharacteristically shy. He quickly turned around, making his way back to class to finish his after school necessities. 

“Ya hear that Tsumi? I’ve officially become an older sister!” Tsumiki smiled.

“He’s thought of you as his sister for a while now.” (Y/n) hummed.

“I know, he’s been acting like I am. It just feels different now that he’s actually said it.” The two continued their walk to Megumi’s classroom, Tsumiki listening as (Y/n) told her all the latest gossip. 

─── ⋆⋅ December 2017 ⋅⋆ ─── 

(Y/n) and Satoru had just dropped Megumi off at home and are now making their way back to the school when (Y/n) grabs Satoru’s hand with her own, swinging it gently.

“Hey dad?” Satoru’s hand twitches slightly by his side as he turns his head towards her, letting out a small hum in acknowledgment.

“You know that I’ve pretty much always thought of you as my dad right? ‘Gumi does too.” Satoru smiles softly at her, giving her hand a small squeeze.

“I know. I’ve always thought of you as my kid… Megumi-chan and Tsumiki-chan too, but you’ll always be my first.” (Y/n) smiles widely before pulling Satoru into a hug. He chuckles and wraps his arms around her.

“Thank you for taking me in when you didn’t need to. When you get gross and old I’ll do the same for you.” Satoru gently shoves her away, gasping loudly. 

“How dare you? I’m never getting gross, I’ll be this hot forever!” The two laugh as they walk around in search of a good sweet shop, plans of returning long forgotten with the amazing, stunning, magnificent idea of eating junk food and gossiping. Although neither one really had anything to talk about, so they decided to make fun of the people walking by them when they pass a sunglasses shop. 

“No! You can’t come with me, that defeats the point of me getting anything! Wait, don't go yet, gimme your card first.” 

While (Y/n) walks around the shop she finds a nice pair of blackout sunglasses, rectangle purple frames she thinks would look good on Maki. As she made her way to the cashier, she notices an… interesting pair of sunglasses that she just knew she had to get.

‘If I don’t get them, the world just might end.’ (Y/n) grins so brightly as she walks out, Satoru just grabs the bags and doesn't try to peek at what was inside them. 

‘I’m such a great father.’ 

The two finally made the trek back to the school, deciding not to teleport in order to spend as much time together even though (Y/n) regretted that decision immensely about ten minutes into the walk. 

“Toru-nii, carry me,” she said, drawing out the ‘e’. 

“Nope.” (Y/n) groans loudly before pulling out her phone.

“Who’re you texting?” She positions her screen away from Satoru.

“No one.” Satoru then felt a buzz in his pocket.

‘Incoming call from Muscle Man’

“Ah, hel-”

“Satoru! Stop abusing the child! God Damn!” That was all that was said before Yaga promptly hung up. When Satoru looks over, (Y/n)’s trying her best to hold in her laughter before Satoru picks her up and begins to carry her. 

“I feel like I’m five again.” 

“You sure as hell don’t feel like it.” (Y/n) smacks him in the head. When (Y/n) and Satoru were younger, Satoru made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t use infinity when he was around her. Of course there are exceptions to this, like if they’re on a mission, or something like that. About fifteen minutes later (Y/n) got down and continues walking, although she nearly fell over when Satoru tried to jump on her back. 

“Satoru, no!”

“Satoru, yes!” 

(Y/n), for a short period of time at least, felt as if she was a normal teenager. That’s something Satoru has always worked hard to do for all his kids, students and family alike. 

“It’s unforgivable to steal the youth away from kids.” 

(Y/n) has always appreciated that about him. When they finally made it back, Nanami was waiting for them at the front of the school. The poor man had been sent to make sure Satoru attends more meetings. (Y/n) had been “trained” to start and prolong conversions for as long as possible if this were to happen.

“Hi, Nanamin! How are you today?” Nanami, who had only recently come back into (Y/n)’s life after years of trying to distance himself, has always had a sweet spot for the young girl. 

“I’m fine, how are you (Y/n)-kun?” (Y/n) then pointed at Satoru, who had somehow managed to carry an obscene amount of bags the whole way home.

“I went shopping and we found this really cute place for lunch. Are there more meetings you guys need to go to?” Nanami shook his head.

“Only Gojo-san. I’m done for the day.” Satoru groans before handing the bags to Nanami, telling him not to break anything. Satoru ruffles (Y/n)’s hair and drags his feet to the campus. 

“I hear you might be getting another boyfriend soon, the Okkotsu boy.” He watches as her cheeks turn a light shade of pink, letting him know that this was indeed the case. (Y/n) quickly turned on her heel and began speed walking to her dorm room. Nanami sighed and started to walk. He, the tall fucker he is, only had to speed up ever so slightly to keep up with her. 

“(Y/n), how are you doing?” Nanami once again watches in the corner of her eyes as she deflates. (Y/n) looks up at the sky. Seeing (Y/n) act like this made him remember how much, how long, Satoru’s raised her. The two are incredibly similar when it comes to their mannerisms, attitude, and ideology, but none of these similarities make them any less their own person.

“Do… Do you think that things would be for the better if ‘bara didn’t die? I mean I know they would, but just how different? Would you be happy? Would Toru-nii and Sugu-nii be happy? Would I be happy? Don’t get me wrong, I am, but it’s different. Seeing him again, after so many years hurt. I can only imagine what it was like for others, for Toru.” Nanami knew where the girl was coming from. He had seen how Suguru broke when Haibara died. He had seen the way he broke himself. 

Haibara was Nanami’s first love, and he thinks he’ll be his last as well. He remembered the feeling of his heart breaking, the feeling of his limp body, becoming a lifeless one in his arms. After his death, Nanami refused to go on missions, finished his education, and left the shaman world. He remembers the solemn look on (Y/n)’s face, even at the age of eight she understood why the recent graduate needed to leave. The two didn’t keep in touch all that well, Nanami only picking her up from school on the rare occasion Satoru couldn’t. Not too long ago Nanami had joined the shaman world again, and (Y/n) had welcomed him with open arms just as she had when she found out of Haibara’s death. 

Nanami can only imagine how many people she’s offered her comfort to after the death of a loved one, and he feels guilty for making her go through it continuously even though he’s not the direct cause. 

When the two finally reach her room, they hear soft voices on the other side.

“Do you know when she’ll be back?” 

“I know, I know, but I still feel like she might need or want some hugs or something!” Nanami, again, watches (Y/n) smile softly. Before she could open the door, Nanami quietly set down the bags and wrapped his arms around the girl. He may not see her as a daughter, or a sister, but he still cares quite deeply for (Y/n). 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers softly. She digs her hands into his blazer and lets out a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry, too.” The two stay like that for a minute before separating. Nanami picks up the bags and (Y/n) opens the door to see the two boys wrapped up beneath her sheets, cuddling. She smiles brightly before flopping herself on the bed, stretching out. Nanami sets down the bags in the corner of her room.

“Thanks, Nanamin!” Nanami nods his head, gives the boys a once over, and closes the door behind him. He pulls out his phone, sending Satouru a text letting him know she’s safe in her room. 

(Y/n) feels a slight nudge on her hip and she looks up to see Inumaki casting a glance at Yuta. The poor boy’s face took on a bright shade of pink. (Y/n) smiles before crawling up to the top of her bed, settling down behind him. 

“Aw, Yuta! Are you embarrassed?” The boy vehemently shakes his head before looking at her.

“Oh, are you shy?” He nods his head slowly. (Y/n) snuggles a little closer and wraps one arm around Yuta, playing with Inumaki’s fingers. 

“That was Nanami. He used to go to school here, I guess he was also my babysitter.” Yuta lets out a soft ‘oh’. 

“Are you both not shy,” he prods gently. Inumaki shakes his head, before resting it on Yuta’s shoulder. 

“No, we’re not. You could say the two of us are used to people constantly barging in. Toru-nii and ‘gumi still do it all the time. It’s super annoying when we’re watching a movie or something.” Yuta nods his head, resting it gently atop Inumaki’s. 

The three spent the rest of the night like that, cuddling and enjoying one another’s company until the sun came up and they could no longer ignore the impending events that would forever change the world as they knew it. 

—————————-

December 24, 2017 - the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons - the death of Geto Suguru

(Y/n) wakes that day with no one beside her, leaving her bed feeling empty and cold. She spent the night agonizing over every little thing, preparing herself for the loss of shaman that would be bound to come later in the day. 

When it came time to go to Kyoto, (Y/n) said her goodbye’s to everyone, not knowing if she would see them when morning came. Satoru accompanied her all the way to Kyoto, not wanting her to be lonely. The two spend the car ride in relative silence, not knowing what to say to make the other feel better. 

Ijichi comes to a halt after some time, signaling that they have arrived. Satoru got out of the car first, opening the door for (Y/n). Stepping out, she could see most of the Kyoto school waiting on the other side, slightly unnerving her, but she ignored it. As she surveys the crowd, (Y/n) sees plenty of familiar faces, all somber, looking at the both of them with pity. Very few people in the shaman world didn’t know of the tragic story of their small family. Utahime was the first person who stepped forward, greeting the girl. The rest begin to follow shortly. 

After the teachers had a small discussion to the side, far enough out of earshot, Satoru decides it’s time to take his leave. (Y/n) gives him a small hug before he goes.

“You’ll come get me right?” 

“I promised, didn’t I? Be safe.”

“You too.” Noritoshi rests a small, light touch on her shoulder as she watches as his car becomes nothing more than a speck on the horizon. (Y/n) sighs softly before smiles brightly, a fake one that doesn’t reach her eyes, not by a long shot, and begins to make her way to the school. 

“All right, let's get this shit show over with.”

————————————-

The students were in charge of clearing out the curses as much as possible and containing them to their designated area, which resulted in them being in the semi front lines. Foolish, I know, but unfortunately Gege is a sadist. 

Noritoshi has never seen (Y/n) fight a curse before, and he’s frankly a little frightened by his little sister. She has a malice dripping grin on her face, several cuts bleeding profusely, and a rusty kitchen knife defying the laws of physics. 

He watches as she accidentally drops the knife while a curse runs towards her, mumbling a small ‘fuck,’ before twisting her body so her right side’s facing it. He watches in fascination and mild disgust when she moves efficiently, shoving her right foot near its feet, jamming her right side into its chest area, grabbing its limb, and rips the limb from its body. (Y/n) then quickly maneuvers her body to shove the limb down its mouth with so much force, the back of the head is left with a gaping hole. 

“Now that’s a pretty extreme take on fisting, if I do say so myself.” Noritoshi doesn’t know how she can continue to make jokes at a time like this, much less where the energy comes from, but if he has to guess he’d say it was from Satoru. (Y/n) rushes over to her knife and picks it up, but not before another hoard of curses charge towards her. 

She makes quick work of them, jumping up and landing on a curse. (Y/n) uses that moment of confusion to dig her knife into one’s face and drag it out the side of its face. She uses the curse as a stepping stone to make her way onto the back of the next one. (Y/n) takes her left hand to jam the knife in the right side of its neck, yanking it through the left. The next one gets a little too close for comfort, right when Noritoshi was going to shoot an arrow, he sees the knife leave her hand and quickly shoot itself through the chest of the curse. The knife was covered in blood, (Y/n)’s and curses alike. It continues in its conquest to protect its wielder while (Y/n) grabs the head of another and forces it clean off of the rest of its body. However, she doesn’t drop the head, she swings her arm to backhand the curse coming up from behind. The curse doesn’t go flying, but it does stagger a couple steps back, far enough away that (Y/n) grabs hold of her knife, ramming it in its legs. She drives the blade through the curse’s limbs. Her face has a little splatter of its blood. (Y/n) reaches up and wipes it away with her thumb. 

“Gross.”

He watches her closely, not quite able to shake the dread of something potentially happening to the girl. He watches as she moves precisely and lodges the blade into the creature's eye, killing it, before throwing the knife, which scares the daylights out of him when it whizzes right past his head, and into a curse getting too close to Nishimiya's broom. She makes a slight pulling motion with her hand, causing the weapon to return to her. 

He watches as she throws herself in front of Mai, effectively blocking an attack. He watches as she practically flies from curse to curse, annihilating everything in her way. Again, it terrifies him to see a usually collected and care free girl attack so gracefully and primal all at once. 

(Y/n) feels something grabbing at her leg and sees it’s a curse. Before she could even take the time to angle herself in a harmful manner, Miwa slices through the limb. (Y/n) smiles at the girl, voicing a breathless ‘thanks,’ before continuing to move. Noritoshi sighs softly and makes his way to his next target. 

Some time later when the battle is almost over, he sees a trail of carnage, (Y/n) at the front, leading the destruction. He knows she can hold her own, hell he’s seen it with his own eyes and (Y/n) is in the process of evaluation to become a grade one shaman after all, but he’s still surprised at how powerful she is when she doesn’t put herself unnecessarily in harm's way. Though he thinks that maybe that makes her even more powerful at times.

“You’re a force to be reckoned with, aren’t you?” (Y/n) looks over her shoulder, giving him a tired smile. 

“Red Velvet is having a Christmas special tonight, I’m not going to miss it.” Noritoshi groans as Todo makes a sound of approval. 

“Takada-chan is too.” (Y/n) nods her head.

“See, even the jackass gets it!” This time, Noritoshi isn’t the only one that groans.

————— 

When the battle finally reaches its conclusion, everyone is extremely tired and sits on a curb, trying to get any ounce of rest possible before they’re undoubtedly drawn into another fight. A small blue speck begins to grow in front of them, and they all quickly rise to their feet, prepared to fight once again. However, none other than Satoru Gojo appears. His bandages are around his neck. Satoru does a quick once over of all the students before looking at (Y/n).

“C’mon, it’s time to say our goodbyes.” She bows slightly to the others, thanking them for their help, before joining her dad’s side, disappearing from view.

“Okay… is it just me, or does she kind of seem inhuman when she fights, like an animal? Also why are his eyes so bright?” The children let out a small laugh at Mai’s comment and begin the walk to the rest of the shaman. 

——————-

There’s a weird sense of deja vu when (Y/n) steps back into the school grounds. She sees a figure, fatally injured, making their way to them. Even with all the blood, (Y/n) can tell it’s her brother. He looks up at the two as he slides down the wall, not surprised by their arrival. 

“You’re late, Satoru.”  Without glancing at the man, (Y/n) knows he has a desolate expression, a pained smile gracing Sugurus face.

“To think you both would be the ones here at my end. Is my family safe?” (Y/n)’s heart hurts hearing those words, but her heart aches at the sight of her brother grasping an arm that is no longer there. 

“Every last one of them managed to escape. The ones in Kyoto were under your orders, too, right?” Suguru turns his head away from the two, resting his head against the cool bricks.

“Yeah,” his voice laced with pain, “Unlike you I’m a kind man.” (Y/n) huffs out a small laugh, tears forming on her waterline. Satoru stays motionless, no emotions on his face. 

“You sent those two assuming that I’d defeat them, didn’t you? To set Okkotsu off.” (Y/n) sends a questioning glance at Satoru, who wouldn’t take his eyes off of his lover. Even after all this time apart, (Y/n) knew of very few words to describe the two other than that. 

“I trusted you,” those simple words broke something in her. She’s seen first hand the love the two held, hold, for one another, “ Trusted that a man as principled as you wouldn’t kill off young shamans without a reason.” Another smile creeps its way up Suguru’s lips.

“Trust, huh? I didn’t think I still had any of that left.” He says it more to himself than anything. Suguru releases his shoulder for a second to throw a card at Satoru, but quickly grabs it once again. (Y/n) quickly glances at the card and sees Yuta’s name. 

“Was the elementary school your doing, too?” (Y/n) looks at Suguru, a smile still present. 

“Yeah.” 

“I can’t believe you,” Satoru whispers, “ Do you have any last words?” (Y/n)’s breath hitches and she quickly makes her way over to Suguru, sitting on his right side, placing a land on top of his. He looks at the hand, noticing a few familiar beads. 

“I see you’re wearing my old bracelet, it suits you.” (Y/n)’s lower lip wobbles, three words dancing on her tongue, but fear of what might happen prevents her from saying them. Suguru moves his head to look at Satoru. 

“No matter what anyone says, I hate those monkeys,” his grip tightening on his arm, or lack thereof, “But I never held any hatred for those in Jujutsu High. I just couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world.”  Satoru takes a few steps forward, squatting down in front of them.

“Suguru,” the said man rolls his head to look at his other half, no energy in his movements anymore, “we’ll meet again.” Suguru’s eyes widen before he lets out a soft laugh, his soft laugh. 

“At least hit me with some curses at my end.” (Y/n)’s tears freely stream down her face, but she still keeps her mouth closed.  She whispers a barely audible, ‘I love you, Sugu-nii’ and gives him a hug, which he returns, before standing up and taking her place at Satoru’s side. She closes her eyes, not wanting to see his death, and hears the sound of flesh tearing. No heartbeat coming from his body. She makes a fist in Satoru’s jacket, scared that if she were to open her eyes, he would not be there. Satoru places a hand on her head, bringing his little girl into a hug. (Y/n) couldn’t breathe without sobs racking her body. She feels his hand on her arms, along a tear in her uniform where she had gotten hurt, warmth spreading across her arm. He guides her away from Suguru’s corpse. 

Rubble surrounding a body, slowly decaying, blood gushing everywhere, staining everything it touches, a last desperate plea of I love you,’ life fading from a brother, but this time, they’re not going to come back like before. 

Or will he?

When (Y/n) finally has the strength to open her eyes, Satoru still keeps an arm around her shoulders. No words are exchanged between the two, but none are needed. She rubs her eyes until they’re raw. The dad and daughter make their way to the others, seeing Rika turn into her human form. An adorable little girl, really. 

Satoru removes his arm from (Y/n) and claps, (Y/n), not knowing what was going on, just claps along with him. 

“Congratulations! You managed to break the curse.” The four first years look confused.

“Who are you?” (Y/n) chuckles softly, Satoru deadpans.

“Your good looking teacher, Gojo Satoru. I thought the theory Yuta came up with sounded Interesting, so I requested an investigation into their families. The investigation of Rita’s was finished quite a long time ago, but Yuta’s was full of holes at best. So then it came to light. You’re the descendant of Sugawara Michizane! That makes us super, super, super distant relatives!” (Y/n) gasps, amazed, and laughs at Satoru’s pose.

“Woah, no way!” Yuta looks confused. 

“Uh, who?” Satoru is now dancing.

“One of Japan’s three great apparitions!” Satoru is still dancing. “He’s a super big shot shaman.” (Y/n) slightly jabs her elbow into Satoru’s ribs. 

“You were right, Yuta. Rika didn’t place a curse on you. You placed a curse on Rika. Now the one who placed the curse has canceled the bond. So long as the one who was cursed doesn’t seek any penalty, it’s fully broken now. Of course, that much is obvious after seeing her in that form.” Yuta falls to the ground, tears flowing onto the cracked cement beneath him. (Y/n), while wanting to comfort the boy, stays in place, knowing how overwhelming it can be to have people surround you when you need space to breathe. 

“It was all my fault, wasn’t it? I turned you into that form, I hurt all those people, and I nearly caused everyone to die when Geto came after me!” (Y/n) feels Satoru tense at her side, she does too. Even after all this time it still catches her off guard when people mention her brother and speak of him like that. Even if they’re mostly correct. Yuta’s hands dig themselves into his hair.

“It’s all… It’s all my…” (Y/n) watches as Rika makes her way in front of Yuta. She hugs him tightly. “Yuta, thank you… for giving me more time and letting me stay by your side. These past six years, I’ve been happier than I ever was while alive.” Yuta continues to cry, only looking up when Rika lets go and stands up. She backs away from him.

“Bye-bye. Take care. And don’t come over here too soon, okay?” Everyone watches as she fades away, officially beginning to rest.

“Woah… I didn’t know death could be that sparkly or…bubbly,” (Y/n) whispers. Satoru snorts quietly. 

——————

Everyone’s standing at the school entrance, waiting for Yuta to show up. 

“Did you really call Rika’s death bubbly?” (Y/n) sighs exasperatedly.

“She literally turned into bubbles, like that one witch from the wizard of oz! How else do I describe it? There was glitter in the air.” Inumaki chuckles, holding (Y/n)’s hand. The two girls continue their small argument, even though everyone knows Maki laughed when hearing the comment. 

In the distance, they could see Yuta and Satoru walking over to them.

“Come on, Yuta! How long are you gonna keep us waiting? Let’s go!” Yuta makes his way over, standing shoulder to shoulder with (Y/n).

————

A new chapter of their lives would begin that day. (Y/n) would struggle with the loss of her brother and all the emotions that come with it. Yuta would struggle with accepting the love he deserves, but the three of them would learn together. Inumaki, (Y/n), and Yuta would slowly start dating and live happily ever after. Well… at least until the entirety of the Shibuya arc gets animated because your darling author doesn’t want to spoil anyone before then, seeing as she deeply regrets reading the manga after seeing season one of the show. 

——————————————

tag list:

@staygoldsquatchling02

@illyrian-moonswarrior

Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter, ‘purple Lilac blooms,’ will be a 5+1 fic. It should be posted next Saturday 9/30. As always, there is an oc version on my blog and this can be found on ao3. See you later, honney bears!

-honney

[alheria]

Fresh wind on a hot day (3/9)

*Hey, it's Buck! I really wanted to wait a day or two before texting, but turns out I can't stop thinking about you. U free on Sunday? I almost suggested a hike, lol. Not with that ankle, huh? Next time then! How does chilling on the beach sound? 🥰*

Jim couldn't stop reading the message over and over again, every time feeling fucking butterflies wreak havoc in his poor stomach.

Buck asked him on a date.

Not even five hours after they parted their ways.

Took him nearly twenty minutes to respond, overthinking every single word he wrote to make sure it didn't somehow sound stupid. Which totally made him feel like a teenager interacting with their first crush. So what? It was reasonably overwhelming that he managed to impress someone so much, they wanted to see him again on their next day off. And the fact that person happened to be a handsome, likeable Alpha firefighter only added more stress to the raging anxiety fire.

Street couldn't even remember the last time he was on an actual date. Perhaps it was the awful one last year. Tan was bothering him for ages to meet with some gay cousin of his good friend, so to once and for all make him shut up, he agreed. It was a horrible mistake. That Alpha dude, who was apparently a very respectable neurosurgeon, clearly wanted to own a what he called "a rare object" in a form of a jacked, intimidating Omega working a manly job. This statement, voiced barely fifteen minutes after they met, left the officer utterly speechless. He was baffled by how confident in his deep arrogance that man must have been to say such offensive bullshit with absolute nonchalance. Just...wow. Tan was obviously fired from any further matchmaking, and all Jim's following encounters were purely physical because he had no mental strength left to deal with some people's stupidity. He really hoped the upcoming one won't be another disappointment, which was an odd thing to suspect since they already spent a significant amount of quality time together. Still, Street was nervous. 

The next three days of doing absolutely nothing productive, because he was on that stupid medical leave, were a constant struggle as Jim couldn't fully focus on anything, too distracted by his Sunday plans. It was not clear what the exact idea was until Saturday evening, so various speculations filled his forced freedom. Not a single was correct, but at least the daydreaming killed the time.

Beer and sunset was what Buck suggested. How convenient, those were Street's two favourite things. Unfortunately, it also meant the firefighter wouldn't come to pick him up before the afternoon, which equalled lots of silly anxiety amplified by Luca being at work, thus not providing much-needed distraction. Fucking hell.

To muffle the ruckus in his head, the officer had to turn for help to the ultimate brain-numbing activity: watching reality TV. It's something Chris made him do on their days off before she moved in with Amelia and even after, the habit stayed, doing wonders to his noisy brain. So, hopefully dressed adequately for the occasion, he sat on the couch and fully immersed himself in a silly show until someone loudly knocked on the door, startling him terribly.

Fuck.

He lost track of time.

Nervously shaking only a teeny-tiny bit, Jim opened the door and almost whined when his stomach did a flip. No way that guy looked better than last time. How is that even possible?! Why is he so damn hot?!

-Hi there. Ready? -Buck asked softly, a wide smile instantly brightening his handsome face. 

Nope. Not at all. Can we cancel and forget we ever met?

-Yeah. -Street lied, quickly going back to grab his almost forgotten phone. -You alright Buck? You look tired. -observed upon returning, without thinking cupping the younger man's cheek and gently rubbing it as he examined the darkness prominent under the blue eyes. 

-Might get better in a sec! -informed the firefighter, pulling the Omega into a long hug, with nose pressed to his neck, deeply inhaling the comforting scent. Jim could clearly feel when the tense muscles slowly started to relax in the tight embrace. -I had the longest shift ever yesterday, can't wait to forget all about it. People can be really stupid sometimes. -explained vaguely once they parted.

-Tell me about it. -Jim rolled his eyes, turning away to lock the door. -Most of the people I get to "meet" are not only stupid, but also armed. Idiots and guns do not mix well. -he sighed, shaking his head in disapproval. -Let's go?

The whole drive to the beach, they talked about everything and nothing, mostly work related anecdotes interrupted by Buck's shockingly bad singing. It felt so natural to be around him, like if they met years ago, not a few days. There was no tension, no awkwardness, just pure comfort between them. Even on arrival, as they walked towards their destination and the Alpha casually held his hand, it didn't feel weird at all. Which was actually strange, since the officer was not used to the romantic part of intimacy, never experienced anything "relationship like", so this whole situation should be throwing him off. But it somehow wasn't.

They sat down on a blanket thrown over the sand, cracked open the cold beers and in complete silence enjoyed the beautiful view of an orange orb vibrantly glowing from behind the pinkish clouds, hanging over the horizon, nearly touching the line of calm water splashing lazily near them. The wind was a little chilly at this hour, although nicely refreshing, ruffling their hair with its slow gushes as their shoulders met, exchanging pleasant warmth. Watching that breathtaking sunset next to the most incredible person he's ever met was truly a dream come true. A dream that seemed too good to be reality. 

-Buck, why are you single? -Street blurted out of the blue, unable to contain curiosity any longer. He had to know what is wrong with that seemingly incredible man before they moved any further with this relation. 

-Ugly truth? -the firefighter chuckled after taking in a fairly deep breath. Street only nodded in response. -Well...for the past few years I've been hopelessly in love with my best friend and work partner Eddie. Ever since we met, and he introduced me to his amazing kid, Chris, I desperately wanted to be a part of this beautiful family, have those two incredible boys all to myself. Even if it meant giving up on my dream of having kids on my own. Eddie is a Beta, y'know? He had a wife, but she died last year. Anyway, for the longest time I've been hiding those feelings to not ruin our friendship, until one day I started noticing we've gotten closer than any friends should be. Around five months ago, I finally stopped lying to myself and everyone in our team, for whom it was obvious there is something between us. I told him how I truly feel, and he said that despite having feelings for me, he's not ready to start another serious relationship just yet. That's why I am single, Jim. I was too busy waiting for Eddie to change his mind. To let me love him. 

And, oh.

Jim could feel his heavy heart drop all the way to the ground.

And then Buck grabbed his fucking hand and squeezed it so tenderly it almost made him cry like a fucking baby because suddenly it started to feel like he chose him over the possible love of his life and all the chaotic thoughts of being a temporary replacement or a rebound or whatever else instantaneously vanished.

-I'm done waiting. -the Alpha smiled, fondly looking at the cop with those bright, blue eyes, and Street just melted. -Few weeks before we me met, I decided it's enough. My patience has officially run out, and I am more than ready to move on. -he assured, probably sensing or even seeing the Omega's already fading distress. -What about you? Why are you single, Jim?

Oh Lord. Why didn't he think beforehand that this question might absolutely shoot right back at him? Dammit.

Ugly truth, huh?

Very ugly indeed.

-I...almost killed someone once. -he whispered after gathering the much-needed courage, his jaw impossibly tense as he stared at the darkened waves. -It was back at the police academy. Everyone except me in my class was either a Beta or an Alpha, so they were giving me a pretty hard time, trying to force me to quit because apparently Omegas have no place in the force. I was changing by my locker one day when out of nowhere that one especially obsessed with harassing me fucker showed up behind my back, said "Maybe I should make you my obedient little bitch." and bit my neck. Hard. I fucking lost it. Next thing I remember is him lying on the ground, blood all over my hands, his face beaten into a pulp. They told me he developed a severe brain bleed, couldn't become a cop afterwards. And I couldn't trust any Alpha anymore, in fear they will try to forcefully make me "normal", an obedient little bitch. -revealed, quickly wiping a single tear rolling down his cheek. -If I am not interested in Betas and wary of Alphas, who do I date, huh? -Jim laughed nervously, not daring to gaze at the other man out of  unnecessary embarrassment. He's never told that story to anyone but Chris. She was furious.

-Damn, and I thought, I'm a hot mess. -Buck whistled, swiftly pulling the cop into his arms. -Guess we both are. -sighed, resting his cheek on the top of the other man's head.

-Not quite. I'm definitely hotter. -joked the officer, shifting himself to look at that pretty, slightly concerned face.  

-I'll give you that one. -chuckled the firefighter, capturing Street's lips in a quick kiss. -Fuck, Jim, you make me wanna keep you.

-You like damaged goods? -the Omega snorted in response, entangling his fingers into those soft blond strands.

-Duh! -Buck exclaimed. -No one should pretend they're perfect. It's really cool that you're not afraid to share your truth. -added with a wide smile, making Jim feel dizzy from all the affection he's been receiving. There is nothing more pleasantly overwhelming than being held by your crush while they tell you they wish to be with you. Nothing.

-Keep me then. -he offered. -I enjoy you Buck, a lot, actually. Even though we barely know each-other, around you I finally feel truly respected and...safe. It's not like I'm one hundred percent sure we would work, but I'd love to at least try. You don't have to respond... -tried to explain, but got promptly interrupted by a rather possessive kiss. -...right now.

-Are you for real?! -shouted the younger man, gazing at the officer in pure disbelief, his watery eyes sparkling with raw happiness.

-Do you seriously want me to repeat those most cringeworthy words I've ever said? -Street frowned, trying very hard not to blush after realizing what he's just shamelessly confessed. Buck laughed in response before leaning down to kiss his boyfriend one more time, stopping for a second to whisper:

-I'll take it as a yes.

---

They stayed on the beach until it got dark and too cold for sitting there in thin hoodies, the chill crawling under their skins despite being in close contact. Driven by the desire to go somewhere warmer, the two of them literally stormed through the apartment door, like some horny teenagers unable to stop touching even for a moment all the way back there.

Plastered to the wall, Street could barely breathe as their tongues mixed, unbelievably hungry and equally needy as their lower parts. Already hard in his pants, he hopelessly thrust into Buck's matching erection, causing him to growl and suddenly break the kiss.

-Carry me upstairs? -Jim immediately requested, wrapping his muscular arms around the taller man's neck, gently brushing the silky hair.

-Didn't you say you would let me do it only that one time? -chuckled the Alpha, firmly grabbing onto the sturdy hips while gazing into those foggy, starving eyes looking at him expectantly as they stood there pressed together, their dicks desperate to get some heavenly friction.

-Well, in my defense, I didn't plan on seeing you more than once. -revealed the cop blushing subtly. He certainly didn't predict they would meet ever again, let alone start dating, and was pretty sure it was a mutual feeling. Because who could've possibly predicted them instantly clicking? No one.

-Ouch! -Buck whined dramatically before obediently slipping his large palms under the beefy thighs and effortlessly picking his boyfriend up. -Are you aware you're not the lightest person in the world?

-Aren't you firefighters supposed to be like...super strong? -teased the Omega, tightening the legs around his lover to put pressure on their aroused cocks while the younger man hurried them to the bedroom. -You're gonna save on gym with me.

-I have free gym at work! -the firefighter giggled, carefully putting Jim back on the floor. -I do like that you are so ripped tho. It's really fucking hot. -added, unexpectedly pushing the officer onto the bed that creaked dangerously under his weight.

-Did I perhaps hit a nerve? -Street hummed after quickly recovering from the initial shock of being violently shoved. Buck only snorted in response and swiftly took off his white hoodie, soon joined by the bottoms on the ground. Gloriously naked, he then climbed over his fully dressed boyfriend and instead of helping him get rid of the itching material, focused on marking the round jaw with kisses. The cop whimpered in annoyance, desperately needing complete skin to skin contact, not merely a hint. His hands erratically wandered along the uncovered spine, gently caressed the warm flesh as his lover made him squirm, bruising the extremely sensitive neck. But still, it was simply not enough. So, he grabbed a fistful of golden hair and yanked them. Not too hard to cause any pain, but enough to grab attention.

-Buck, sweetheart, if you don't start fucking me anytime soon, I'll probably lose my mind. -he groaned, looking right into the visibly darkened, slightly surprised blue eyes that instantly widened upon hearing Jim's complaint. 

-On it. -assured the Alpha, and as promised began to undress him, starting with the hoodie. Once it was gone, Street shivered from the rapid change in temperature, the colder air unpleasantly licked the burning skin. Seeing the tremble, the firefighter started kissing his chest, tender pecks one by one led a trail all the way to the strained pants he easily pulled down, revealing the soaked underwear hiding the prominent erection. Jim was so hard it was physically uncomfortable. A loud moan escaped him when the suffocating penis finally got some air. Even louder one when Buck confidently licked it from the very bottom up to the leaking tip. The moment it disappeared in its entirety inside the velvety mouth was so intense, everything instantly went dark. He could only feel the utter ecstasy and hear himself produce the most shameful, erotic sounds forced out by his dick being skillfully sucked. There was no doubt he would not last long. The orgasm was approaching quickly, fueled by two fingers entering him in preparation for the main event. When they spread open, that did it, came on the spot, pressing deep into Buck's throat.

-Sorry. You okay, baby? -Street asked, seeing the younger man cough once he pulled away, his eyes visibly watery. -C'mere. -he ordered, extending an arm towards his boyfriend, who eagerly lied down on the heavily breathing chest, inhaling the familiar scent until the fact he was yet to release started bothering the recovering officer. -I'm pretty sure I mentioned something about fucking me. -he whispered suggestively, laying a gentle kiss on the sweaty forehead, more than ready to resume the fun.

That's all Buck needed to hear. Joining their lips, he pushed himself up and shifted to comfortably fit between Jim's spread legs. Without them parting, the Alpha lined his coming back to life penis with the loosened opening and effortlessly slid right in, completely filling the incredibly hot, twitching insides.

-Fuck, you feel so good. -he huffed, withdrawing a little before thrusting back in, his moves shallow to avoid falling out of the immensely wet hole. The Omega could feel his cock harden again as the other man began the unrushed rhythm and leaned down to bury his nose in the fragrant neck, nibbling on the skin from time to time. It was ecstatic, having such a sensitive body part played with, marked subtly by someone he truly cared for. He wrapped his arms around Buck and lightly grazed the arching spine while the firefighter's penis rubbed the throbbing prostate. Their mixed groans and moans started to slowly increase, but neither of them was interested in ending it fast. The new couple wanted to enjoy themselves. So, in tight embrace they leisurely followed the blissful release's path until the friction became unbearable, overwhelmed all the senses and forced the powerful orgasms out.

Later on, they curled up together, aching terribly, however insanely happy. Street had a hard time dozing off, tormented by disbelief in what has happened over the past few days. He met a guy in the weirdest situation possible, randomly saw him at the bar on the same day, slept with him, and then, after barely one date, became his fucking boyfriend. How crazy was that?! And even though it surely sounded insane, Jim didn't care in the slightest, being reverently held by a man who made him laugh was all that mattered, and he couldn't wait to get to properly know him.

The first "new" thing he learned was that he did not like waking up alone in someone else's house. Still half asleep, he rolled over, reached for his phone and with a good yawn checked the time. 9:17. Now it made sense - Buck's shift started over an hour ago. He couldn't believe he slept through him getting ready for work, and that he was even allowed to do so. Maybe they were together now, however, it was quite odd to let someone you barely know stay in your home without supervision. At least that's what Street thought. Not really keen on doing anything after having quite a night, it took him another forty minutes to get himself out of the comfortable, pleasantly smelling bed into the shower and then downstairs for a coffee. To his surprise, on the kitchen island, a single key lied next to a vibrantly pink note neatly folded in half with his name written on it, containing the cutest, most heart-warming message he's ever received:

Dearest boyfriend ♡

Work :(

Stay as long as you want!

Close the door pls

Jim couldn't stop a fond, intrusive smile from growing as he kept looking at the piece of paper.

That man's adorable sincerity surely will be the death of him. 

[joheunsaram]

To Make A Power Couple - 02 (knj)

Chapter 2 - Pizza and Life Chats

THIS IS A REPOST SINCE I LOST ACCESS TO MY OLD ACCOUNT. PLEASE FOLLOW THIS BLOG FOR UPDATES ON THIS SERIES.

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Summary- Namjoon and Y/N go on their first date, and Namjoon is whipped.

word count- 5k

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- pg13 for now

genre- series, fluff, eventual smut, strangers2lovers

warnings- mentions of hangovers and panic attacks, tooth-rottingly fluffy

a.n- okay here’s the second part! I wrote this up fairly quickly (don’t expect this to be the norm!). This part I wanted to kind of address the stress of overworking as a young adult (GUILTY 🙋🏻‍♀️) so sorry if it gets a little serious at parts. I also wanted to switch it up so it’s from Namjoon’s perspective. I hope you enjoy it. SOFT JOON BEING A BIG OLD SOFTY.

Feedback much appreciated! 💕

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​, @sassyuniversitytacopeanut

-

Namjoon woke up startled as his phone alarm rang. He was groggy and his splitting headache made him nauseous. “I’m never going to drink again”, he mumbled. He groaned as he got off the couch he had crashed on the night before, trying not to trip over Taehyung who seemed to be dozing happily on the floor as he made his way to his room. He hadn’t stayed at the dorms in a while, preferring the quiet solitary of his own apartment nowadays, and with his hangover in full swing he felt like he was walking through a stranger’s house.

Last month was hell. He had procrastinated on his songs and none of the vocal guides were even halfway done before the due date. Every time he tried to finish a song a new one would pop up in his head and he would start on that, leading to a hard drive full of files labelled “finish soon” and “draft”, and a notebook full of scratched out scribbles. It was like his brain had decided to abandon him, deciding it had had enough of his perpetual melancholy. He had felt drained and burnt out, a husk with no creative juices left. Luckily, Yoongi and a few of the producers had taken pity on his stressed out state and lent a hand so he had been able to finish the bare minimum three days ago - before the label pressured him further. He was never more grateful for a small break.

In all honesty, he needed a way to jumpstart his brain, and get out of the routine of home, practice, meetings, studio, home. Sometimes, he almost wished he didn’t have the success he had so he could go out and let loose a little - a club, a party, anything. But the last time he went somewhere like that he got swarmed and the police had to be involved. He couldn’t risk that, not after the trouble Big Hit went to threaten media outlets a year and a half ago, when he was caught with what they called a hickey, but was actually a stress rash.

As he brushed his teeth today, however, he smiled at the mirror. Last month may have been terrible, but last night was one of the best he’d had in the past year.

When he had heard Bang PD’s team talk about how they were attending the charity gala as he met them for notes on his songs, he was intrigued. He had read about this non-profit in the paper before. They seemed to be helping bridge the gap between people through communication and that spoke to him. So much so that he had scrolled through their website multiple times, reading testimonials and almost memorizing the mission statement. They wanted to help kids learn English for free so they could communicate globally. He really liked the idea. It was hard for him to learn the language as a kid and he knew that the only reason he became as fluent as he is from the tutors his parents paid for and his obsession with American television and music. Although he didn’t need the tutoring anymore, he did enjoy talking to the in-house tutor at the company, John, from time to time and improving his skills. The fact that this company wanted to add a John to every school in Korea starting from the rural areas, made Namjoon want to meet the man behind the movement. Little did he know, he’d be meeting the girl who’d shift his idea of the ideal.

He had never been more glad to have convinced his company to let him and the boys attend an event. He had initially suggested it as a way to break the mundane before their comeback practices started and network while supporting a cause he liked. Two days ago, he wouldn’t have guessed it would have been an actual fun night leading to him nursing a headache.

He spent the next hour reliving last night as he showered and caught up on the news. He also read the messages he sent last night over a hundred times and had butterflies each time. Wasn’t he too old for butterflies? He wanted to message you again but every time he tried, he ended up overthinking it. Everything sounded forced or cheesy, and it was worse than any writer’s block. He threw his phone on the bed in frustration watching it bounce and land on the floor, before he grabbed it and pocketed it. Hopping around to get rid of his nerves, he decided to take a break from rereading the thread he already had memorized and check in with everyone. If his hangover was this bad he couldn’t imagine theirs.

Making his way back to the living room he found Taehyung now sitting on the floor, sleep still very evident on his features as he yawned and groaned. On the couch next to him sat Yoongi, holding an iced americano and staring into space. The rest were missing but he could hear a blender annoyingly whizzing in the kitchen.

“How’re you guys feeling this morning?” He asked as he sat across from Yoongi.

“This is why I don’t drink. Why did no one stop me?” Taehyung whined as he rose from the floor to leave, massaging his head.

“We tried. You were very excited to try all the disgustingly sweet drinks the hot bartender was making for you.” Yoongi replied with a sigh. “How was your date, Namjoon? You glad I forced you to go to the bar to talk to her?” he snickered, sipping his coffee before exhaling loudly in contentment.

“Honestly, I owe you big time. She was… amazing. I don’t think I’ve talked to someone that comfortably in a while” Namjoon sighed wistfully.

“I’ll add cupid to my resume,” he deadpanned. “Is she tolerating you for another date?”

“Yeah. We’re getting dinner on Tuesday, but I want to message her now. Argh!” He ran his hands over his face in frustration. “What do I even say? ‘Hi I’m the guy who was too scared to kiss you all night so you had to do it for him, what’s your favourite colour?’” Namjoon was annoyed at himself. It’s bad enough that he was having writer’s block in his music, did he have to have it for something as simple as texting too? This was ridiculous!

“Or you could just ask her how’s her hangover today. Jeez! Do I have to draft each of your messages? Stop being a dumbass and text the person you like.” Yoongi scoffed, clearly over Namjoon’s sudden and uncharacteristic insecurities.

Namjoon gave a resigned sigh as he reached for his phone and wrote out exactly what Yoongi suggested. Hey, he was his hyung for a reason - he had a full 6 months of life experience on him.

Namjoon: Hey! Hope your hangover is not too bad today.

As soon as the message was sent, he started getting nervous. Tapping his foot incessantly while he stared at his phone, willing it to buzz, annoying Yoongi enough to leave him alone on the couch in the process.

Y/N: Hi to you too! I actually don’t get hangovers so I’m doing great lol. What about you?

Namjoon: What do you mean you don’t get hangovers?

Y/N: I don’t know. Can’t get dehydrated if you’re always dehydrated!

Namjoon: That… makes no sense. Do I need to start reminding you to drink water?

Y/N: Only if you’re better than this app on my phone…

Namjoon: I can guarantee you I’m better than any app on this planet.

Y/N: Wow. Big claims! We’ll have to put it to the test I suppose.

Y/N: You never told me how you’re feeling. Oh and how’s Taehyung? Is he okay?

Namjoon: He’s doing fine. Made a pact to never drink again and if i’m being honest, I’m going to join him. I am shocked that your head is not exploding as well.

The messages continued easily after that, filled with updates of each other’s activities, playful flirting and even photos of dinner. By the time Monday rolled around, you had been messaging each other constantly, with no end to the conversation in sight and the only long pauses being when you were both asleep or working. It seemed like you would never run out things to talk about. Namjoon hadn’t messaged someone this frequently since he got out of his last relationship. It felt nice to relay his mundane day to day events to someone and he found himself excited to hear about your mundane, like how you decided to mix two different types of bad coffee blends to make a shockingly worse one. He was surprised again at how fast he felt comfortable around you. It was even starting to scare him a little - he only knew you for three days and it felt like he had known you forever! What was this weird spell you had on him?

The conversation Monday, however, was fairly sparse, and Namjoon was eager to set up plans for the next day, so that night he decided to call you.

After the first three rings, he was overthinking his decision. Maybe it was too soon to call? Maybe you didn’t like talking on the phone? What if it went to voicemail? Would he have to leave a message? What would he say? His inner monologue was quickly halted at the sound of your voice.

“Hello, this is Y/N” you sounded distant, almost too formal. He felt nervous.

“Hi… uh… this is Namjoon. Is this a bad time?”

“Oh Namjoon! Sorry I didn’t check who called when I picked up!” Relief washed over him at the change of your tone. “Sorry one sec can you hold on.” he heard you say as your voice got mumbled. He waited while he heard you talk to someone about proposals and deadlines. Were you still at work? He checked his watch - it was 10 pm. He didn’t know whether to be impressed by your work ethic or worried that you were overworking.

“Hi sorry about that! How are you?” He relaxed at your airy tone and smiled.

“I’m good. Are you still at work?”

“Yeah it’s only like 7 so it’s no big deal. I usually leave around 8” Were you serious?

“Y/N… It’s 10:04…” He was shocked at how nonchalant you sounded, and suddenly he had his answer - he was worried, not impressed. He had known you for three days and already you were setting his caretaker alarm off. He wanted to scold you for being careless and overworking, like he’s used to doing for the boys, but he knew it was too soon. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling that way all of a sudden and tried to suppress his protective instincts.

“No it’s not! It’s…” He could hear your voice going further away as he imagined you moving the phone in front of you to check the time. “Oh shit you’re right. What the hell? Okay sorry I’m gonna put you on hold again.” Before he could say anything he heard your voice again, distant again but loud. “Oh my god. Guys, it’s 10pm. Go home! Why did nobody tell me? No it doesn’t matter we can do that tomorrow. Please go home. Pack up now! You too Siwon, don’t worry I’ll go home after I get off the phone. See you!” He smiled at the sternness of your tone - it reminded him of a teacher dismissing class.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I overworked my team. Had to send the troops home” you laughed and Namjoon felt his heart flutter.

“I don’t wanna keep you from going home. I can call you back once you get there,” he offered. He felt bad that you were staying in an empty office on his account.

“Oh don’t worry about it. It was a lie to get Siwon off my back. I’m probably gonna be here till like 1 or something. I still have to get this done” you said matter-of-factly, like it was the most normal thing in the world. He knew that tone fairly well, having used it multiple times himself when he locked himself in his studio, running on nothing but coffee and energy bars.

“Okay I know we’ve only just met and we have our first date tomorrow, but do you want some company?” He asked before he could stop himself. The line was silent for a bit, and he felt self conscious, scared that he had overstepped and driven you away. Before he could check his phone to see if you had hung up you spoke.

“It’d be pretty boring for you to watch me just type away. Are you sure? It’s pretty late.” He was sure his cheeks would hurt from how wide he smiled.

“It’s not a problem at all. I was going to work tonight too.” He wasn’t. “We can just work together. I’ll bring food. Did you eat yet?” his words tumbled over each other.

“How very college of you.” He could hear you giggling on the line. “Now that I think about it - I’m starving.”

“Okay text me the address, I’ll be there soon.”

He had never been this excited to pretend to work.

He spotted you as he walked through the doors of the 13th floor, pepperoni pizza in hand. You were sitting at a long desk near the middle of the room. He was surprised as he expected you in an office, but he found you typing away at your desktop. Your hair was tied up in a bun and you were dressed in an oversized beige t-shirt, eyebrows furrowed head bopping to the hip hop track playing through the speakers. You seemed to be in your own little world. He felt like he was spying on you as he leaned against the door watching but he also liked seeing how you acted when you thought no one was watching. He was about to announce his presence when the track changed to a Childish Gambino one and you whooped and started to rap along.

You were now fully head banging and rapping the verse at the top of your lungs. He would be impressed by your fairly good amateur skills if he didn’t find the entire scene so endearing. His heart was doing somersaults as he watched you now fully engrossed in the song, typing forgotten as you got up and started to pretend you were on stage, an imaginary mic in your hand asking haters if they “eatin’ though”. You looked so adorable that he couldn’t help but squeal a little “cute!”

That’s when you saw him, eyes wide. He felt a little bad when he saw how embarrassed you looked, immediately stopping and slapping a hand to your mouth before bursting out in nervous laughter. He could write a whole album with that laugh. Oh he was so whipped, he thought to himself as he made his way to you.

“You know you’re not half bad!” He exclaimed as he set the pizza on the table, pulling a chair next to yours and settling down.

“Do you think your fake compliments will save you from the fact that you were spying on me?” you asked, crossing your hands across your chest, pretending to scowl but failing to do so.

“First, real compliment. Second, would pizza save me?” He opened the box and proudly smiled, loving the way your eyes lit up as you reached for a slice.

“Yes it will!” you exclaimed as you took your first bite, lightly moaning at the taste. “But erase that memory from your brain please.”

“Nope. Never. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m going to save it forever” he said as he also started on his slice. You pouted up at him, cheeks puffed and it took all the self-control he had to not kiss it off your face. He hadn’t felt this way in so long, it was like you were his first crush. Trying to control his pulse, he asked “What are you working on so late?”

“Oh I have a proposal due for a meeting tomorrow at noon and I’m only halfway through it,” you frowned wistfully at the screen as if willing it to type on its own.

“Can I help?” He asked, knowing fully well that he couldn’t. He just had an overwhelming urge to make that frown disappear.

“You being here is help enough,” you smiled sincerely as you looked at him and he felt his heart explode, a blush creeping on his cheeks as he smiled bashfully. “What are you working on?”

“I have a few songs I have to finish the lyrics for. Been procrastinating” he rubbed the back of his neck as he pulled out the notebook from his back pocket.

“Can I help?” you echoed his question to which he echoed your response grinning. He wasn’t lying though. Even though he had planned to not really work, as the night progressed he found the change from his usual writing spot inspiring. Sitting next to you, the sound of the keyboard clicking was soothing leading to words pouring out of him. He filled pages as he stole glances at you concentrating on your proposal, tongue peeking from between your lips, still bobbing to the music which was now playing from your airpods instead of the speakers. He smiled at the sight, before focusing on his notebook.

After about an hour or so of hard work, he finished three songs that he had allotted himself the whole week to do. This was the most productive hour he had all month. Antsy for a break, he looked over at you and found you staring at him, a hand under your chin. As he met your gaze you smiled.

“You’re really hot when you concentrate. Has anyone ever told you that?” you commented. He was taken aback by your remark, heart fluttering at your smirking face. Not missing his chance and spurred on by the comment, he scooted closer in one sweep till your knees touched and you were face to face.

“You’re one to talk. I couldn’t stop looking at you this past hour.” Gazing into your eyes, he was amused to see your smirk disappear as it was now your turn to be shocked. He reached out and tucked a stray hair behind your ear letting his hand linger, enjoying the way you sighed as he did. “Can I make good on my promise now?” He whispered, his face centimeters away, looking at your lips. The way you bit your lower lip made him want to take you there and then. The desk looked big enough. Hell, even if it wasn’t he could make it work.

“Promise?” you whispered as he watched your eyes flutter to his lips.

“To kiss you first…” Too impatient to wait for your answer, he brought his lips to yours, relishing how soft they felt under his own. He was thrilled at you returning the kiss, deepening it as you grabbed the collar of his shirt to bring him closer just like you did after the party. He was beginning to think this was your signature move, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t immensely turn him on. He moved his hand cupping your face to rest on your neck and he could feel your heartbeat mimicking his. He put his other hand around your waist pulling you closer, wanting to be as close to you as he could get. He traced his tongue over your lips, his head cloudy with endorphins as you opened your mouth inviting him in. He had never tasted something so euphoric, his tongue exploring yours in a rush.

He could feel you pushing forward as he leaned back and allowed you to straddle his lap, your legs on either side of the chair. As soon as you were on his lap, he pulled you closer, both arms around on your hips, your chest flushed with his. He kissed the side of your mouth as he made his way down your jaw to your neck. You smelt like vanilla mixed with a fresh flower garden, and he was sure this smell was better than any drug in the world. He could hear your breathy moans as he sucked where your neck met your collarbone, licking to soothe it before moving further. He wanted to taste all of you. Your hands were in his hair and each tug made him groan into you, making him harder. He could kiss you like this forever. He wanted to save this moment so he could come back to it and relive it. He traced his hands up and down your sides, moving under your shirt but remaining on your waist, enjoying the feel of your soft skin.

“Namjoon… Namjoon… slow down” he heard you say breathlessly as he felt a slight push. He looked up at you, your eyes half lidded and lusty as you grabbed his face and brought it to yours. You were sending him mixed signals, but he didn’t care as long as he could keep kissing you.

“We have to slow down or I’m going to want to fuck you right here.” You whined as you both came back up for air, but you kissed him again nevertheless. Hearing you say that made him want to do anything in his power to make that happen.

“I don’t mind, baby,” he said against your lips, kissing you with urgency, biting your lower lip and pulling it gently to elicit another moan from you. To his disappointment, you seemed to have better self-control than him as you pushed him back, both of you panting as you struggled to catch your breath. He moved his hand back to your hips tracing little circles, feeling comforted by you smoothing his hair you had pulled earlier.

“There are cameras here. I’d rather not make a sex tape on our first date.” You giggled as you pointed to the black sphere in the corner of the room. He had never hated the obsession buildings had for security more, but the crudeness of your comment made him laugh. He had almost forgotten this was your first date, it felt like he had kissed you a thousand times before. You tasted like the relief of an awning in the middle of a summer downpour.

“I think we need to cool down,” you say as you climb off of his lap. “Let’s go.”

He followed you as you led him to the little kitchenette near the end of the room, unable to resist the urge to wrap his hands around your waist in a back hug. He knew he was being too clingy for a first date, but the way you giggled and put your hands over his gave him assurance.

“Lemonade, coke, or water,” you asked as you peered into the fridge.

“You.” He smirked kissing your neck, feeling bold off of the high from your makeout session.

“Joon!” you pretended to sound scandalized as you turned in his arms, smiling warmly. The nickname made his heart swell. It added a familiarity that he didn’t know he missed from you.

“You haven’t called me Joon before. I like it” he smiled as he pecked your lips.

“Hey! We are cooling down! No kissing! Now pick” you chided and Namjoon couldn’t help but wonder if you were this assertive in bed too, a million scenarios playing in his head. Okay, you were right, he needed to cool down.

“I’ll just have water, thanks,” he said as he grabbed the bottle you passed him, opening and gulping half of it. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was for something other than you. You both made your way to the tables, sitting across from each other.

“So did you finish your proposal?” He asked trying to cool himself but failing as he noticed you running the cold water bottle against your neck, the beads of condensation dripping on your shirt. He cleared his throat as he tried to focus his attention on your eyes, a mantra of stay focused playing in his head.

“Yes! Finally! It’s perfect.” you smiled proudly and somehow he felt a wave of pride too. “What about you? Made any progress?”

“Actually yes. I kind of finished my entire week’s writing in that one hour” he was still amazed by his own progress.

“Okay, Mr Overachiever” you joked and he chuckled.

“To be honest, I didn’t think I’d be able to write anything, but I don’t know your presence is kind of soothing. It helped me focus.” Watching your smile grow wide, he continued, “I’ve been having pretty severe burnout this past month and it has just been hard to put down my thoughts, even non-lyrical ones.” He fidgeted with the water bottle as he looked at it, avoiding eye contact.

He didn’t know why he was telling you this. He recalled when he told you about his struggles as a leader during your first conversation. Somehow being around you led him to vomit out his feelings. It was… unlike him. Namjoon was usually not this honest on dates, or relationships, as much as he would hate to admit it. That’s the reason he broke off his last one. He felt bad lying to her about a busy schedule when he just wanted to be alone. She would have understood, she was kind and thoughtful, but it just felt easier to lie and not put the effort in to explain his thoughts. Even when they broke up, he lied and told her that it was because he couldn’t handle being in a relationship at the moment, when in reality things had cooled off a while ago and he felt guilty as his feelings faded.

He felt your hand reach out and grab one of his, intertwining your fingers. He felt comforted by the gesture as you rubbed your thumb across him before you spoke two words that warmed his heart. “I understand.”

“You know it’s hard to work at full speed all the time. It’s okay to not be at a hundred all the time. The valleys feed the peaks” you continued. It was a simple remark, but it sounded surprisingly poetic to him. He hadn’t felt this understood outside of the boys for a long time. It was refreshing. It was terrifying. He resisted his natural urge to run and hide.

“Are you speaking from experience?” he asked, needing to divert the attention away from his own vulnerabilities.

“Yeah. I had it pretty tough a couple of years ago. Too much pressure from myself, too many expectations. Led to too many vices and panic attacks” you shrugged as you continued and he squeezed your hand to comfort you. “It creeps up from time to time but my therapist and I have it handled” He looked at you in awe. You hadn’t given him a throwaway answer or switched the limelight back at him. You wasted no time in being as vulnerable as him, if not more. He knew at that moment that regardless of where this thing went, he wanted you to know you better.

“Thank you for being honest.” He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it gently. It was an intimate gesture but he wanted you to know how much he appreciated your words - how much he appreciated you - in that moment. You both sat in comfortable silence for a little while, playing with each other’s hands that were still intertwined, till one of you yawned loudly causing the other to giggle. With the weight of the conversation lifting, you both fell back into playful banter as you decided to pack up and call it a night.

“Do you want me to walk you to your car?” Namjoon asked, wanting to drag the night on longer despite it already being almost 2 am.

“Don’t judge me but I actually don’t know how to drive. I was just going to cab back.” he saw you giggle bashfully as you pulled your backpack over your shoulders.

“Oh, no judgment here! Me neither” he laughed. Why does everyone think it is such a big deal to not drive? It’s better for the environment! “Do you want to take one together? I don’t really want you to ride alone this late.” He rubbed the back of his neck, hoping he didn’t come off as if he was trying to dictate what you did.

“I’d really like that,” you said as you walked towards the elevators. He held your hand as you both got on, liking the way you moved closer to him at that.

In the cab you both sat closer than necessary, his arm wrapped around you as you both made plans for your scheduled date later that day, trying not to doze off. When the cab stopped all too soon at your apartment, he kissed you gently as he told you how much he enjoyed your company.

That night laying in bed, his heart felt full as he read your goodnight message. He was sure of it now. He really wanted you in his life.

previous | masterlist | next

[moth-based-cryptology]

i saw someone else mention it but how do you think the ralbert youtuber au would go if they only met online so like race doesnt know waht ao looks like?

OH MY GOD yes ok i’ve talked about this before but Many Thoughts, Head Full™️ about this and that time someone brought it up made me half regret how i originally wrote it cause ITS SO FUCKING GOOD

ok so imagine if you will -

the sort of,,,,, key among us crew??? from before, but minus al. at this point al has been streaming on twitch for a hot minute and posts youtube vids sometimes but he’s faceless and sort of underground compared to the rest of them

then he plays in a different lobby with spot and elmer right when the game started blowing up, and the rest is history

spot reaches out on discord and offers to have him in their main lobby for a few rounds on stream and they go from there

for the record when he first joins it’s literally a copy paste of jason’s reaction corpse the first time they meet but it’s race’s reaction to “red” (find here) i’m not kidding the thirst is REAL besties

and like obviously it goes well cause red keeps playing with the massive group

but in the shuffle race gets red’s discord and follows him on instagram and twitter and stuff

and race being race is like ‘i’m gonna befriend him cause he seems GREAT’ meanwhile albert’s brain is just short circuiting cause there’s a pretty boy ACTUALLY TRYING TO TALK TO HIM !!!

and after a couple months they’re streaming after they get proximity chat working and red is ACTUALLY crew mate for once and they’ve finished their tasks and are just chatting

and albert just says something about piercings or his hair or his tattoos or something and race is like “bro you know i have no clue what you look like right?”

albert’s just like “????? i haven’t sent you a picture or something ???? lol one sec” and he just messages one of the only pictures he has of himself to race on insta so he can open it without showing his stream

and obviously albert can’t see this at the time but race literally goes “😳🤭🥴” on stream to several thousand people. like you can literally see the moment it hit race’s brain that albert was hot.

long story very short cause this post is going to be ridiculously long any what they keep talking and vid chatting behind the scenes and streaming together (and flirting so much all the fans can’t tell if they’re already dating or not honestly)

and eventually they get a chance to meet up in person (and it may or may not be a date that they haven’t told anyone is a date)

they film some stuff together but overall they’re pretty lowkey about the fact they’re kind of a thing,,,,,, like romantically. cause they don’t want the internet to run with it and make it something it’s not before they’ve figured out how much they actually like eachother

the answer is a hell of a lot. like just- so much. they’re not MaGiCaLlY iN lOvE or anything but they just sort of click and can tell that t h i s is the type of person they would WANT to spend their life with

which is why they publicly announce their relationship 10 months later. mostly cause they’re moving in together and don’t really have a platonic explanation for buying a 2 bedroom apartment that has one guest bedroom.

and obviously by this point there’s been plenty of theories and guesses (that were honestly quite accurate and weren’t horribly disrespectful like the nightmare that was the 2014 gaming community cause both parties were publicly out as gay, in race’s case, and bi, in red’s) but having it confirmed was a big ‘holy shit’ moment for the fandom

and the squad is some of their best friends so they’ve known for months and they’re all just like “lol yeah all that’s changed for us is we can make fun of them for being grossly adorable on stream now and tease them on twitter instead of in the groupchat”

albert does his face reveal in similar fashion to the original like,,,,, 3 months after that?? and then from there it pretty much just follows that natural flow of canon au

oh except they get engaged a bit later lol. closer to 27/28 then 23/24 (i cant remember what age i had down in that post)

ahhhhh this was really fun !!!! i love this concept sm and have been thinking about the differences since the original ask came through over a month ago

thank you for being patient with me anon !!! this has been sitting half done in my drafts for far too long so i’m finally posting it

[lemonpeter]

STARKER: by Peter B. Parker

Chapter 10: Doppelgänger

A/N: hello and welcome back to this clusterfuck of a fic! i, bloo, sincerely apologize for the delay in the posting of this chapter. real life took over for a bit, i started coming out of my winter depression session and feeling better led to me doing more things irl, and thus fandom took a seat on the back burner for a couple of hot secs.

bri has been SO patient with me and she is the best and the sweetest for dealing with my ADD ass. <3 we love bri.

ANYWHO-

we also love y’all, and appreciate you so much! hopefully updates will become more regular again.

thanks for sticking with us, bloo and bri <3

(Bri here: real life has been wild for both of us lol bloo is wonderful 💕 also it feels like I’m gushing about myself since I’m the one posting but I promise that note was copied from what bloo wrote on the doc-)

Warnings: Peter is Not Okay, angst, whump, g*n mention, wound mention, guilt, victim blaming, g*slighting (lemme know if I need to add)

Masterlist ao3

***

“Did Tony just get- shot?” Ned asked incredulously, eyes wide with disbelief. “Peter shot him?”

“I mean...yes? I think? But wait, look- Peter’s acting like he doesn’t know what’s going on. Did he not do that?” Paige rushed the words out, gazing intently at the screen for a moment. Then she turned and looked first at Ned, then at the other agents in the room. “We didn’t do that, did we?” When everyone hurriedly shook their heads with wide eyes, the teen included, she sighed and took off her glasses to run her hands down her face. “So he’s shooting people now?”

Another heavy sigh sounded from a few feet away. Fury closed his eye, taking a deep breath before cutting his gaze to an agent who was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed as he stared at the monitor. “Grayson.” The man stood up straight, blinking with a sheepish expression on his face and he looked over at the director. “Contact May Parker. Now.”

The agent frowned and hesitated before ultimately deciding to speak up. “But… Sir, didn’t she ask that we not-”

Fury was quick to interrupt, his tone biting. “I’m sure she would like to be notified that her nephew has turned homicidal,” the bald man spat, rolling his eye in irritation. “Now like I said- contact May Parker and let her know that there have been some…developments.”

Even if it wasn’t intentional, the violence was still Peter’s doing. Which didn’t seem like a good sign.

He let out a heavy breath. “Tell her that a car will be outside her apartment waiting for her within the next two hours.”

The already tense atmosphere of the room only grew as Fury never looked away from the man, keeping their gazes locked as he dared the agent to question his authority for a second time.

“Of course, Director Fury.” Eyes on the ground, Grayson quickly turned and walked through the doorway, the other occupants turning back to their tasks.

Everyone’s eyes were trained on the screens as they watched Peter all but drag Tony into the penthouse from the elevator. The older man didn’t look good in any sense of the word, not even close. He was pale, sweaty, with rattled breathing and an ever-growing bloodstain covering his chest. And Peter’s panic was clearly visible on his face.

After a few moments, Ned spoke up, discomfort lacing his tone. “I- Someone please tell me he’s not about to do what I think he is…”

“Holy shit,” Paige breathed. Her hand placed itself over her mouth that was dropped open.

Noises of shock echoed throughout the space, and Ned averted his eyes, swallowing with difficulty.

Agent Hill spoke up for the first time since the scene had unravelled. “I don’t think Peter’s controlling this thing, not anymore.”

Fury turned to look at her, gaze narrowed. “What do you mean? The illusion is obviously running, and I’m assuming that means the glasses are receiving input from him. Right Leeds?”

Ned, still unable to keep his eyes on the monitors, nodded slowly. “Yes, sir. Th-That’s correct.”

It was Hill’s turn to nod, then. “Yes, that’s true, but not what I meant. I don’t think he is consciously influencing the illusions anymore. Or at least not completely.”

Paige hummed softly, head hanging as she leaned down over one of the desks. The dark ringlets of her hair fell around her like a curtain, obscuring her face. “I agree. He seems to still be in control of some aspects, like location. And he was able to, uh, place the sutures. Successfully stopping Mr. Stark from bleeding out. But he wasn’t able to heal him indirectly, even though he obviously tried.”

“What...but then how? Why are things happening if Peter isn’t the one doing the um, influencing?” Ned turned back to the screens, specifically the one full of lines and lines of green characters. He wasn’t ready to look at the others yet. “I’m constantly checking the logs and the security, there have been no breaches. Um. Other than us, that is.” He looked back up, waiting for a response from one of the others, eyes searching Paige’s hopefully, but none came.

No one had an answer to that question.

***

Tony may have been the one who got shot, but there was a hole in the middle of Peter’s chest, too. Raw, tender, cavernous...aching with every single breath that he took.

And he couldn’t close it up, like he had done Tony’s, because the piece of him that was meant to be there was just...gone.

Missing.

And he had no idea how to get it back.

Something was glaringly and obviously wrong, but Peter didn’t know what exactly it was, or what he was supposed to do. Despite having tried his hardest to fix things, nothing was getting better. It was all just...getting worse. (He was getting worse-)

He knew that something was missing. It felt like a huge part of him had been ripped from his life, leaving a gaping void that couldn’t be filled.

And things were only getting worse, still.

Especially between him and Tony.

Peter had thought that things were okay as Tony recovered from his...injury. Not perfect, but okay. Good. Improving. Sure, his husband had been quiet and subdued for the past few days. But he thought that was reasonable and to be expected, the man was in pain. (He was in pain, too, though. Tony didn’t seem to notice. Or care.)

But even now that the older man was mostly healed, there was still a strange tension between them. Distance.

And Peter had no fucking idea what to do about it. Because Tony refused to tell him what was wrong.

Deep down, Peter knew. He knew that everything was wrong, that the whole situation was wrong, that there was no part of their world that was even remotely okay. But if he acknowledged that fact, what was the point? Of any of it? What did he have then, without this, without Tony? Absolutely nothing. So he just wouldn’t acknowledge it.

He’d tried everything he could think of. He’d been attentive to Tony’s every need during his recovery, keeping him supplied with food and water, providing entertainment in the form of working together on various projects and watching TV or reading together, never letting the man out of his sight for more than a few minutes at a time.

He’d even tried to initiate sex, once it seemed Tony was feeling better, so that they could be close to each other in such an intimate way in hopes that it woud fix things. Nothing too strenuous on his husband’s part, of course. Peter had simply wanted to make the older man feel good, bring him some pleasure and show him just how much he meant to his lover.

And Tony had turned him down each time, always pushing him away softly with that clouded, far away look in his eyes. The one that had been there ever since he’d brought up his feelings about what had happened with May.

Now that the older man was better, now that he was healed and had more energy and things could possibly go better, Peter was still too scared to try. He didn’t want to be rejected again. He didn’t know if he could handle it.

He didn’t understand Tony’s refusal in the first place. This world was supposed to be whatever he wanted. And what he wanted was for his husband to want him again, for his husband to love him, touch him, smile at him the way that he used to. And that obviously was not what was happening.

Why did it feel like Tony had more control over things than he did? Sure, the teen intended for his partner to have some semblance of autonomy, in that he could take care of himself and his basic needs, but Peter consciously gave him that autonomy. But now…

Now it seemed like Tony was able to actually think for himself on some level, which would explain why he was able to remember the incident with May despite Peter’s best attempts, and why he seemed hesitant to bring it up to Peter.

And he could see it in Tony’s eyes, the way he didn’t quite know what to make of what little information he did have.

Peter didn’t want to add to the confusion, or cause any more frustration. He didn’t want to stress Tony out.

But he couldn’t tell him the truth, either.

There was nothing he could do.

***

Peter gazed into the bathroom, hands gripping the door frame as he watched Tony.

The older man was standing under the spray of the shower. His hand gingerly rubbed at his chest with a washcloth, head back and eyes closed so as to not look at the mottled knot of scar tissue there.

Peter wanted so badly to join him, his husband, to stand there wrapped in his arms and surrounded by the warmth of the water.

But Tony didn’t want him.

Not anymore.

The two of them were merely coexisting at this point. It was like they weren’t married anymore, not really, like they had slipped back into that painful distance from before, when Tony was still Mr. Stark and Peter was just that fucking kid.

Tony hadn’t touched him since the accident.

“That’s a pretty nasty scar he’s got there, huh? I know you tried to stitch him up but damn. No awards for your suture technique, that’s for sure.”

Peter turned around so fast that he was sure he nearly snapped his neck. That was- That was his voice.

But he knew he hadn’t said anything.

Craning his neck and peering around the large bedroom with wide eyes, Peter held his breath as he listened intently. The sounds of Tony showering could be heard from the open bathroom door. He couldn’t hear anything else, but he could have sworn... “H-hello?” The teen kept turning his head, eyes wide as he looked for any sign of someone else in the room with him.

“Up here.”

And up there he was. Crouched on the ceiling, a position Peter frequently found himself in, was... well, Peter. Another Peter.

He was smirking, something sinister and unsettling glinting in his dark eyes as he gazed down upon his counterpart. “For someone with a sixth sense, it’s really sad that I had to give myself away for you to notice me. So much for that Peter-tingle. You really are losing it, Spider-Boy. Pathetic.” His grin only grew as the words left his mouth.

Peter gaped up at him, heart pounding. What the fuck was going on? He blinked a few times as he tried to take control of the illusion, alter whatever was happening. It wasn’t working. Just like when Tony had been shot. “Who are-“

The other Peter was quick to cut off his questioning. His eyes flashed. “Don’t act like you don’t know. You know exactly who I am.” The double dropped from the ceiling, standing right across from Peter.

It was like looking into a mirror. The doppelgänger was a spitting image of Peter, save for the dark look in his eyes and the cocky smirk pulling at his lips.

“I-I don’t know.” Peter shook his head, soft yet frantic. He was still desperately trying to influence the situation, hands shaking as he clenched them at his sides.”

Not-Peter shook his head in return, laughing as he copied the action. But the sound was cold and harsh, no joy in it at all. “I’m you, you fucking coward. It’s as simple as that. All of this is you! Stop pretending you don’t know what’s going on.”

Peter didn’t want to believe it. This…fake him was cruel. He could never be like that. He never wanted to be anything like that.

The doppelganger scoffed. “You’re no fucking saint, Peter, no matter how much you’d like to convince Tony that you are. He’s catching on, isn’t he? Starting to realize that things aren’t as perfect as you’ve been making them out to be?”

“That’s n-not true,” Peter stuttered as he tried to control his breathing. “You don’t know anything about Tony. Don’t bring him into this-”

“How are things with Tony, by the way?” The doppelganger’s lip curled up at the pained expression that took over Peter’s face. “Ohhh, that bad huh? I can’t say I’m surprised…” He let himself trail off. “It really is sad, you know, Peter? Call me redundant but I feel it needs to be said again, so bare with me. You’re pathetic.”

“Stop,” Peter ground out, hands clenched into fists at his sides. His eyes were clenched shut, but when he heard the other move, his lids flew open instinctively. “You aren’t- You aren’t real.”

A harsh bark of a laugh seemed to echo throughout the room. “I’m as real as anyone you’ve been interacting with these days.”

“That’s not true,” Peter said softly, denying what he knew deep down was, in fact, the truth.

Not-Peter scoffed, taking a step towards his double. He shook his head softly in admonishment. “You really are pathetic.” He’d made it more than obvious how much joy the word brought him, with the way it all but oozed from his lips. “Like I was saying, this whole thing is tragic, it really is, Peter. You know that there is no way that Tony Stark could have ever wanted you, in any sense of the word. Definitely not like this, this weird relationship you’ve conjured up as a byproduct of your unaddressed daddy issues. That’s why you ran away, like the little fucking coward that you are. You ran, so that you could hide out and construct this sick little fantasy world of yours.

“And how’s that working out for you…kid? It’ll tell you: you shot your husband because he was starting to question you, and of course you couldn’t have that. How dare Tony be anything other than the obedient little puppet you want him to be.”

“That’s not true,” Peter choked out, chest constricting. “I- I didn’t do that, it wasn’t me! I tried- I tried to stop it, I tried to undo it but it wouldn’t work so I had to- I had to f-fix him-”

The double cut him off again, as if he had never spoken at all. “I guess you’re right in that sense, so I’ll give you that. I know it wasn’t you. Because it was me.” He paused, hand moving up to his chin as he pretended to think, waxing philosophical. “But then again, I am you, so-”

“You aren’t me,” Peter argued one last time, knowing it wasn’t true. His voice was weak because he knew the truth. Even if he didn’t want to believe it, refused to believe it. “And I would never hurt Tony.”

“No? Not even after he abandoned you?” The fake Peter was taunting him, voice dripping with condescension. “Because you were having some pretty contradictory thoughts that are leading me to believe otherwise. Remember how angry you were?”

Of course he remembered. The teen had been so hurt and betrayed and he knew it was irrational. But Peter was certain that he wouldn’t- he would never actually hurt Tony. He couldn’t.

But how else did he get shot, if Peter was the one in control?

“Stop it,” Peter snapped, voice full of vitriol. Then he instantly recoiled, stomach sinking. That wasn’t him. The angry, frustrated feelings that he kept having weren’t him. They couldn’t be. He couldn’t act like that, that’s how he got here in the first place, it was everything he was trying to fix.

It was how Tony had gotten hurt.

Maybe he hadn’t been holding the gun, but he’d been the one that caused it to happen.

Peter became aware that the sounds of the shower had stopped when he finally shifted his focus away from the double and back to his husband. Partner. Whoever they were now. He heard footsteps approaching and didn’t have enough time to try and make the doppelgänger disappear.

“Pete?” Tony asked softly, rubbing his hair dry with the towel in his hands. Another was wrapped around his waist, leaving his chest bare. (Peter’s eyes were immediately drawn to the scar.) “Were you just...waiting out here for me?”

His eyes were on the double, unaware that it wasn’t actually Peter, not catching on to the fact that there were two of them yet.

“Of course I was,” not-Peter said, eyes blown wide as he attempted to look innocent, to look like Peter. “It’s not like there’s anything else I could be doing.”

Tony’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” When he had first emerged from the bathroom, his tone had been light, more so than it had been since his injury. It had sparked something hopeful inside Peter, and now his heart ached to hear the rough, distrustful edge come back.

“Oh, I mean,” the doppelganger continued with his act, though Peter could see the mirth shining in his eyes. “I just meant that, y’know, there’s nothing else I would rather be doing. Otherwise I would be doing it, since I am control-”

Peter was across the room before he was conscious of the movement, backing the interloper up against the wall and pressing his forearm up to his throat. “Shut the fuck up,” the teen growled desperately, voice breaking. “You ruined everything-”

The double struggled in Peter’s hold, face turning slightly red. His voice was raspy and choked off when he spoke. His nails dug into the skin of Peter’s arm. “Which means you ruined it yourself, you fucking coward! Go ahead, tell him. Tell Tony-”

“Peter? Tell me what? Who is- Peter, what the hell is going on?”

“Shut up!” Peter’s fist jerked back before it flew forward, connecting with the nose of the body in front of him. He heard Tony gasp and call out his name, but he ignored the man in favor of swinging his arm forward again. “I hate you! Why won’t you go away? I hate you!”

Despite the blood pouring out of his nose and rolling in crimson rivulets down his face, not-Peter grinned, the red smearing in sharp contrast on the white of his teeth. “We all knew you hated yourself, Peter, that’s not news.”

When Peter moved like he was going to strike again, Tony decided to actually intervene, even though he still had no idea what was going on. “Hey, Peter- Peter, baby, come here, let him go. This isn’t you baby-”

The teen let out a panicked gasp, melting into the other man’s embrace. “But it is,” he cried, brokenly. “It is me Tony, I-”

Tony hushed him, holding Peter close. He still didn’t know what was going on, but he needed to try and keep Peter calm. And from fighting the other one. “I know this isn’t you. You wouldn’t hurt anyone,” he said softly. Although he wasn’t sure he believed himself. He was so lost with everything going on, he didn’t know what to believe.

The other Peter just stayed leaning against the wall, arms crossed. “You don’t even know, Tony.” The name was said like an insult. “You don’t get any of this, do you?”

“Shut up,” Peter whispered, all the fight leaving his body as he was held. “Just stop. You need to go away.” Why couldn’t he just make the imposter disappear? He was in control.

At least, he was supposed to be.

A grotesquely sinister expression took over the doppelganger’s face. His eyes were bright, burning, as his gaze locked with Peter’s.

The expression set the teen’s already frayed nerves on edge. He froze in Tony’s arms, heart pounding. Why was he looking at him like that? And why was that look so familiar? Where had he seen-

“It’s pretty easy to fool people when they’re already fooling themselves, Peter.”

The reaction was almost instantaneous.

“No, no, no, no,” Peter muttered to himself, voice shaking. His hands moved to his head, pulling at his hair, and when he opened his eyes for a moment, it wasn’t his own face staring back at him.

It was Beck.

“You’re not real,” he whispered, choking on his breath. “Y-you’re not-”

“Peter, baby, you’ve gotta calm-”

“N-not real-”

***

“Peter, sweetie, could you take the rolls out of the oven?”

“Sure thing, mama.” He opened his eyes, glancing back before going to do as she said. That was better.

“And where’s that husband of yours, he’s joining us for dinner, right?”

Peter bit his lip. He hadn’t even noticed that Tony wasn’t there. “He should be back soon, just had to step out for work.” There, that sounded convincing enough.

“Such a hard worker, that Tony,” May chirped, a grin pulling at her lips as she sliced tomatoes for the salad. “You really lucked out, Petey.”

It was a sweet thing to say. It was exactly what he thought about Tony. But it sure as hell wasn’t anything that May would say. However, Peter just let the genuine affection in her tone relax him, letting out a soft sigh. “I really did, Aunt May. I really did.” He smiled at her and then to himself as he got the rolls from the oven and set the pan on the counter.

Ben snorted, taking a sip of his beer. “Stark’s the lucky one, May-Flower. Pete’s quite the catch. Takes after ‘is uncle.” At Richard’s eye roll, he laughed again. The sound filled Peter’s chest with a fuzzy warmth. “Fine. And his father. Parker men ain’t nothing to mess with.”

“Uh huh, right.” May laughed. “I agree with you on one thing, though. Parker men are definitely something else, that’s for sure,” she teased.

Peter laughed along with them, but it was all beginning to feel uncomfortable on some level. He felt just as empty as he knew the rest of his guests were.

His doppelgänger’s words kept racing through his mind. Beck’s words. (“If you were good enough, maybe Tony would-“)

But he pushed them away, steeling himself and blinking blearily for a few seconds. His gaze locked on the food spread out over the counter. None of that mattered.

He was at dinner with his family. They were all there, happy and healthy. Together, the way it should be. There was nothing that he needed to be worried about.

[the-reaper-of-maidens]

Arrival

YEET, some Alcina x OC stuff, because I’m horrible with x Reader stuff. I suppose chronologically, this is the first in my Alcina x OC stories, since this is how my OC met the tall vampire lady~ It kinda ends a bit abruptly, but I wanted the smut to be its own chapter, lol. I know I have the good lady far nicer in this than she really is, but she’s kinda mentally flipped upside down with this nutty OC~ I hope I did the tall vampire lady justice with this, regardless!

TW: mentions of self harm, homophobia implied

The diminutive woman arrived at the castle grounds. Her brown eyes were weary and showed her depression. Her brunette hair was long, flowing freely in the cold breeze, and her jeans were doing a poor job keeping her legs from freezing. She had some nose and ear piercings, so they were especially cold. She shivered and pulled her bomber jacket tighter as she went in, adjusting her duffle bag. She was a bit of a horror blogger, though she ironically was scared easily. Recently, she ended her blog, figuring it was best to end while she was at her peak, so she didn’t tell anyone about her trip to this haunting castle that was reported to be sites of vicious attacks.

Really, the blogger was hoping for one more fright before moving on from her fame, or maybe she wanted to end her suffering, so she hoped to see a monster. Though she was well-liked online, her personal life was… awful, to put it lightly. The blogger certainly felt unsettled, taking a look at the foyer. She thought it was weird that the doors were totally unlocked, though she figured it was different cultural norms, since she was American.

And then… she saw one of them. The blogger started sweating as the witch stepped towards her, she didn’t think anyone still lived here. The tiny woman stepped back, trying not to wig out as the witch continued her creeping. She whipped her head around when she heard another door open, and that was when she started running, dropping her bag.

She didn’t know where she was going, she just wanted to get away from them while trying to explore what the castle had to offer, despite her better judgement. Maybe she should have just turned tail when she saw the witch…

“Well, well… what an interesting visitor we have here,” a low, but darkly alluring voice called out, its owner crouching through a doorway.

The blogger froze like a deer in headlights as she saw what seemed to be an enormous woman towering over her. This woman must have been twice her height. Great, she thought, I have that creepy woman after my tail and now there’s this… hulking piece of… hotness. The blogger blushed a bit, this woman was just stunning, and she couldn’t help but get the hots for her despite being pretty terrified right about now. “S...sorry,” she finally managed to croak out. “I just got curious is all. I’ll just grab my stuff and leave now if you want.”

“How adorable, thinking you can just break in and enter someone’s house willy-nilly,” Lady Alcina Dimitrescu giggled charmingly and sinisterly as she eyed the petite woman, baring her claws. Of course, she felt it was a bit unfair for this especially tiny woman to go down easily; she usually liked giving her prey a fighting chance, it made the hunt all the more exciting. “I’ll give you a chance to run. If you make it out the door before my daughters or I can catch you, you’re free to go~”

Instead of running, though… the blogger just screamed and went down on her knees, cowering in fear. Her stomach was in knots, and she almost felt her breakfast wanting to come back up as she prepared herself for the worst.

The mutant tilted her head in curiosity and retracted her claws. Normally, most people took the chance to run off, but this one thought giving up and staying was a good idea. Alcina was suddenly interested in this strange human. “Hmm… you know what, I’ll call off my daughters. You pique my interest, how about we chat over lunch?”

The blogger was still shaking, though she mustered up the courage to open up her eyes. Though still anxious, she did relax a bit when she realized she was still unharmed. “I… yeah, sure. Lunch sounds good,” she stood up on shaky legs, unzipping her bomber jacket a bit. The adrenaline really heated up her body. Her stomach still felt a bit nauseous, though, so the thought of food didn’t sound appealing to the blogger at the moment.

“Trust me, I’ll make sure my daughters won’t bite. How about you go make yourself… comfortable in the meantime?”

Naturally, the blogger was still on high alert for the next few hours. She looked at her phone, tempted to make a blog post about all that happened, but she decided against it. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be back in the limelight again… if she wanted to be criticized by her family again. She didn’t have any friends, really, so it wasn’t like she had anyone that would worry about her. She sighed, and Alcina caught the pained look on the blogger’s face.

“So… what brought you to my humble abode?”

“Oh! Sorry! Sorry…” the blogger fretted a bit. “Like I said, I got curious. I also used to run a blog about all sorts of scary monsters and stuff.” Of course, this was all lost on the vampire lady, so the blogger explained more. “A blog is kinda like a digital journal entry, you see. You write it up on your computer and post it up and everyone gets to see what you wrote. Kinda like a bulletin board, but it’s on the Internet.”

“And you… used to?”

“I… yeah. I just wanted to scare people about the things I write about, I didn’t want to be famous. But it happened, and I felt like I had to go along with the ride. Eventually, my folks found out. They’re… not the most supportive,” the blogger divulged. “So ending the blog was a little bit of panic and mostly my choice, because I knew I can’t handle juggling family issues and the blog.”

The mutant woman tsked a bit, feeling an odd sense of pity for the blogger. “How shameful of your family. Do they not have their own business to tend to?”

“Like hell that I care. I cut them off after I stopped blogging. I’ve got enough money to travel around as I please, so… if I’m stuck where I’m misunderstood and demonized, I can just fly off,” and the blogger had anger flash in her eyes for a second, which surprised the mutant vampire. “Imagine being in hillbilly hell, where everyone is a churchgoing fanatic, and you don’t fit what they want you to be. I don’t have friends. My family hates me because of who I love… the guys laugh, and the women? Well, they’re grossed out because I’m a woman and I’m... I’m not supposed to love women.”

“Ah, so you escaped when you finally had the chance,” Alcina wasn’t stupid, piecing together that the smaller woman was waiting for the funds to get out. It was admittedly rather admirable to the vampire, knowing that someone freed themselves of their shackles.

“It took a few years… but you can bet I hauled ass the second I reached my goal. Still, though… I wake up every day, and I’m dragged down by my self-hate. Like my demons follow me wherever I go, and it’d be nice if I can escape for real.”

Alcina shifted a bit, and she grinned mysteriously. “I know a way, if you’re willing to stay for the night,” she offered, hoping the blogger would accept. Perhaps this woman could give her her fix, since it had been a long while since Alcina had any fun in her private quarters. Though she had her witches, she really did see the three as her daughters… she just couldn’t see herself doing such an act with any of them.

The blogger blushed a bright red, trying to decipher what this extremely tall vampire lady meant by that. “...Are you asking me to sleep with you?” she sniped in. She wouldn’t mind it, per se, but she was certainly surprised at the proposal.

“I can tell in your body language, you’re in love with me~ Luckily for you, I don’t care what’s in someone’s pants or how they identify as when I put them to bed. All they need to do… is be a good plaything for me,” Alcina giggled seductively, tossing away any subtlety she might have had.

“I… hold on, just a sec,” the blogger ran off to the nearest bathroom to compose herself. She felt herself flush with heat as she took off her jacket. “Don’t… do anything stupid,” she told herself in the mirror as she washed her face with ice cold water. She was wracked with nerves, but she just couldn’t pass this up. Well, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s not like anyone back home cared about me, she thought to herself. The blogger took a deep breath to compose herself as she zipped her jacket back up and she went back out, her emotions put into check for now. “Sure, I’d like to stay for the night,” the blogger grinned awkwardly when she returned, fidgeting a bit.

“Trust me, you have nothing to fear,” Alcina purred, putting a hand on the blogger’s cheek. Of course, decades of experience meant she knew how to not crush the poor thing during their fun. This woman must have been half her size, if the height difference was anything to go by. “When you’re as tall as I am, you simply have no choice but to... adapt.”

“Hehe, lucky me. I’ve never… did any of that, obviously,” the blogger admitted, blushing as she shifted her weight between her feet.

“Oh? So you’re saying that you’re a maiden?” Alcina was definitely hooked now, leaning forward a bit. Having a new fling was always nice, but having a potentially new source to make another batch of Sanguis Virginis was always even better.

“What? You’re not gonna like, sacrifice me to some demon or something, are you? Or gut me with those huge claws… right?”

“Oh, no, not at all. It just has a rather poetic ring to it is all,” Alcina hummed casually, debating whether to get the blogger’s blood or enjoy the night with her. Then again, there was no hiding from the tiny woman that she was a mutant vampire, so she had to come clean. “Though,” she leaned back in her chair, “I’m admittedly not sure whether to ravish you or turn you into my wine. We need maiden’s blood for the wine, you see, since it’s just so... delectable.” Normally, the countess would have no issue deciding to turn someone into wine, but given the events from earlier that day... the blogger could make for a good plaything instead.

The blogger swallowed nervously. She had a feeling that whatever she would say, Alcina would manage to have her way. “...How much blood? Are you gonna… turn me? If not, can you not… like, kill me? I need my blood to live.” So many questions raced in her head, she was almost regretting accepting the offer. Almost.

“Charming. Don’t you worry, I won’t drain you of all your blood, should you end up being my pet instead~”

The blogger spent most of the day just relaxing in her room after lunch, thinking about her future. The money won’t last forever, after all, so she needed to start planning. So far, her hostess seemed amiable enough, despite the initial scare. “Ugh, think, think, think! What can I do for Lady Dimitrescu to make her enjoy my stay if I have to come back?” Or, perhaps, she could forgo her travels, instead staying at Castle Dimitrescu for the rest of her life in service to Alcina. She felt a cold in the air, the hairs on her neck standing on ends. She slowly turned and her eyes met with Daniela’s, who she learned earlier was one of Alcina’s daughters.

“Mother says dinner is almost ready, plaything~” the witch giggled, a strident laugh that made the blogger feel a pit in her stomach.

“I… thanks,” the blogger gulped in fear, following the witch for what seemed like forever. She still wasn’t sure what to think about Daniela, truth be told. She eyed the mutant vampire, and realized the mutant was still inhumanly tall, though not as tall as Alcina. She gulped nervously, wondering if she’d be tossed to the witch if Alcina decided she wasn’t good enough.

“Ah, our little guest. Thank you for fetching her, Daniela,” Alcina nodded, a smirk revealing her fangs a bit as she waved Daniela off to take a seat. The blogger looked around, watching the maids hustle and bustle, setting food out to the table. She saw two other women similarly dressed as Daniela sitting at the table, and she assumed they were sisters. That still didn’t make her less uneasy.

The blogger’s mouth watered a bit, smelling the food. If lunch was anything to go by, dinner would be spectacular. “Thanks for letting me stay for the night, Lady Dimitrescu. Tonight’s pretty cold, or so it seems,” she took a seat.

“Oh, it’s not an issue at all, and please… you may call me Alcina,” the vampire mutant purred, trying to get a bit more emotionally close to the blogger. She rarely had any romantic emotions, she usually felt they were in the way of the real action, but… she didn’t mind it when she did have romance flare up in her heart, if someone truly was interesting to her. She frowned a bit when the blogger didn’t take her bomber jacket off, even as she started eating. “Oh, come now, how long have you worn that jacket today? Surely, you must be sweating buckets in there!”

The blogger blushed a bit, mid-bite into her chiftea. “Oh, um… you don’t need to worry… Alcina. I’m not hot at all, trust me,” she tried to dodge, knowing the lady wanted her to stop roasting.

“Well, if you get it all over your coat, you’re going to have to wash it anyways. I’m amazed you didn’t do that at lunch earlier.”

The blogger just cast her eyes downward at her food, fidgeting a bit. She knew she was locked in; one wrong choice, and she would be dead, and she’d rather be alive and uncomfortable than dead. “You’re right,” and she took off her jacket, revealing scars and tattoos on her arm peeking out from the rolled sleeves. She shivered in the brisk breeze, but kept eating.

Alcina leaned back a bit, realizing why her guest refused to shed her coat. “Who did that to you? The scars, that is.”

“...I did,” the blogger clenched a fork, her eyes still downcast. “...Most of it, anyways,” she finally looked up and made eye contact with Alcina. “Some of it was from my dad.”

“...My apologies,” Alcina truly meant it. “I had no idea.”

“It’s fine, the scars are all in the past now,” the blogger took a sip of what seemed to be wine, perhaps a merlot or a cabernet. She coughed, she hated alcohol… “Sorry… I get that wine is good for dinner, but… I prefer tea,” she admitted. “Dad was an alcoholic, so… stuff like that makes me uncomfortable. I think maybe an Earl Grey tea with some cream and sugar would be nice?”

Alcina nodded and called for a servant. “Prepare a tea kettle for our guest here. Earl Grey with cream and sugar,” the vampire lady commanded. “My dear guest… I really am sorry for making you uncomfortable. I’ll take note of that next time you come here.”

“Um… actually, about that… I’ve been thinking, Alcina. The money I’ve got won’t last forever, so I was thinking of just staying here… working for you,” the brunette woman rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

Each and every hour, the blogger became more and more interesting to Alcina. It was rare for girls to come and willingly work here, unless they had some sort of death wish. “I see. Well, in that case, I will spare you, my dear... if you can tell me what you can bring to the table.”

“I can make music, and I can do art. Think of all the beautiful paintings I’d make of you~” the blogger cracked a grin. “But more importantly… I can help you bring maidens into the castle for your wine.”

“Oh?” That definitely rules out making her into wine now, Alcina thought, though she decided hours ago she likely wouldn’t do such a thing to her little pet.

“If you can turn me into one like yourself and your daughters, I will. I promise. I’ve… when I was twelve, I wanted to become a vampire so badly,” she admitted, snorting a bit. “But... really, Alcina. The maidens I’d hunt for you would be my rent payment, so to speak.”

Alcina seemed to consider it, sipping her wine, and smiling in amusement at that confession. The blogger seemed multi talented, at least, so it would be nice to have some entertainment if she wanted, though it was new that someone wanted to be turned, and she was tempted, though she’d have to talk to a certain Mother Miranda. “You’ll get your chance, my dear. Patience is the key here,” she reached over and gently grasped her guest’s hand. “Perhaps not now, but you can say goodbye to your past… to the pain… soon.”

Dinner was accompanied by lots of talk, mostly of the blogger telling Alcina all about herself. Soon enough, dinner was done, and Alcina invited the blogger to her bedroom. “A deal is a deal~ I promised you that I’d help you escape your self-loathing, and I will,” she offered a gargantuan hand to the blogger.

[joheun-saram]

To Make a Power Couple (knj) | 02

Chapter 2 - Pizza and Life Chats

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Summary- Namjoon and Y/N go on their first date, and Namjoon is whipped.

word count- 5k

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- pg13 for now

genre- series, slow burn, fluff eventual smut, strangers2lovers

warnings- mentions of hangovers and panic attacks, tooth-rottingly fluffy

a.n- okay here’s the second part! I wrote this up fairly quickly (don’t expect this to be the norm!). This part I wanted to kind of address the stress of overworking as a young adult (GUILTY 🙋🏻‍♀️) so sorry if it gets a little serious at parts. I also wanted to switch it up so it’s from Namjoon’s perspective. I hope you enjoy it. SOFT JOON BEING A BIG OLD SOFTY.

Feedback much appreciated! 💕

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​, @sassyuniversitytacopeanut 

-

Namjoon woke up startled as his phone alarm rang. He was groggy and his splitting headache made him nauseous. “I’m never going to drink again”, he mumbled. He groaned as he got off the couch he had crashed on the night before, trying not to trip over Taehyung who seemed to be dozing happily on the floor as he made his way to his room. He hadn’t stayed at the dorms in a while, preferring the quiet solitary of his own apartment nowadays, and with his hangover in full swing he felt like he was walking through a stranger's house. 

Last month was hell. He had procrastinated on his songs and none of the vocal guides were even halfway done before the due date. Everytime he tried to finish a song a new one would pop up in his head and he would start on that, leading to a hard drive full of files labelled “finish soon” and “draft”, and a notebook full of scratched out scribbles. It was like his brain had decided to abandon him, deciding it had had enough of his perpetual melancholy. He had felt drained and burnt out, a husk with no creative juices left. Luckily, Yoongi and a few of the producers had taken pity on his stressed out state and lent a hand so he had been able to finish the bare minimum three days ago - before the label pressured him further. He was never more grateful for a small break.

In all honesty, he needed a way to jumpstart his brain, and get out of the routine of home, practice, meetings, studio, home. Sometimes, he almost wished he didn’t have the success he had so he could go out and let loose a little - a club, a party, anything. But the last time he went somewhere like that he got swarmed and the police had to be involved. He couldn’t risk that, not after the trouble Big Hit went to threaten media outlets a year and a half ago, when he was caught with what they called a hickey, but was actually a stress rash. 

As he brushed his teeth today, he smiled at the mirror. Last month may have been terrible, but last night was one of the best he’d had in the past year. 

When he had heard Bang PD’s team talk about how they were attending the charity gala as he met them for notes on his songs, he was intrigued. He had read about this non-profit in the paper before. They seemed to be helping bridge the gap between people through communication and that spoke to him. So much so that he had scrolled through their website multiple times, reading testimonials and almost memorizing the mission statement. They wanted to help kids learn English for free so they could communicate globally. He really liked the idea. It was hard for him to learn the language as a kid and he knew that the only reason he became as fluent as he is from the tutors his parents paid for and his obsession with American television and music. Although he doesn’t need the tutoring anymore, he does enjoy talking to the in-house tutor at the company, John, from time to time and improving his skills. The fact that this company wanted to add a John to every school in Korea starting from the rural areas, made Namjoon want to meet the man behind the movement. Little did he know, he’d be meeting the girl who’d shift his idea of the ideal.

He had never been more glad to have convinced his company to let him and the boys attend an event. He had initially suggested it as a way to break the mundane before their comeback practices started and network while supporting a cause he liked. Two days ago, he wouldn’t have guessed it would be an actual fun night leading to him nursing a headache.

He spent the next hour reliving last night as he showered and caught up on the news. He also read the messages he sent last night over a hundred times and had butterflies each time. Wasn’t he too old for butterflies? He wanted to message you again but everytime he tried, he ended up overthinking it. Everything sounded forced or cheesy, and it was worse than any writer’s block. He threw his phone on the bed in frustration watching it bounce and land on the floor, before he grabbed it and pocketed it. Hopping around to get rid of his nerves, he decided to take a break from rereading the thread he already had memorized and check in with everyone. If his hangover was this bad he can’t imagine theirs.

Making his way back to the living room he found Taehyung now sitting on the floor, sleep still very evident on his features as he yawned and groaned. On the couch next to him sat Yoongi, holding an iced americano and staring into space. The rest were missing but he could hear a blender annoyingly whizzing in the kitchen.

“How’re you guys feeling this morning?” He asked as he sat across from Yoongi.

“This is why I don’t drink. Why did no one stop me?” Taehyung whined as he rose from the floor to leave, massaging his head. 

“We tried. You were very excited to try all the disgustingly sweet drinks the hot bartender was making for you.” Yoongi replied with a sigh. “How was your date, Namjoon? You glad I forced you to go to the bar to talk to her?” he snickered, sipping his coffee before exhaling loudly in contentment.

“Honestly, I owe you big time. She was… amazing. I don’t think I’ve talked to someone that comfortably in a while” Namjoon sighed wistfully.

“I’ll add cupid to my resume,” he deadpanned. “Is she tolerating you for another date?”

“Yeah. We’re getting dinner on Tuesday, but I want to message her now. Argh!” He ran his hands over his face in frustration. “What do I even say? ‘Hi I’m the guy who was too scared to kiss you all night so you had to do it for him, what’s your favourite colour?’” Namjoon was annoyed at himself. It’s bad enough that he was having writer’s block in his music, did he have to have it for something as simple as texting too? This was ridiculous.

“Or you could just ask her how’s her hangover today. Jeez. Do I have to draft each of your messages? Stop being a dumbass and text the person you like.” Yoongi scoffed, clearly over Namjoon’s sudden and uncharacteristic insecurities.

Namjoon gave a resigned sigh as he reached for his phone and wrote out exactly what Yoongi suggested. Hey, he was his hyung for a reason - he had a full 6 months of life experience on him.

Namjoon: Hey! Hope your hangover is not too bad today.

As soon as the message was sent, he started getting nervous. Tapping his foot incessantly while staring at his phone, willing it to buzz, annoying Yoongi enough to leave him alone on the couch in the process.

Y/N: Hi to you too! I actually don’t get hangovers so I’m doing great lol. What about you?

Namjoon: What do you mean you don’t get hangovers?

Y/N: I don’t know. Can’t get dehydrated if you’re always dehydrated!

Namjoon: That… makes no sense. Do I need to start reminding you to drink water?

Y/N: Only if you’re better than this app on my phone…

Namjoon: I can guarantee you I’m better than any app on this planet.

Y/N: Wow. Big claims! We’ll have to put it to the test I suppose.

Y/N: You never told me how you’re feeling. Oh and how’s Taehyung? Is he okay?

Namjoon: He’s doing fine. Made a pact to never drink again and if i’m being honest, I’m going to join him. I am shocked that your head is not exploding as well.

The messages continued easily after that, filled with updates of each other’s activities, playful flirting and even photos of dinner. By the time Monday rolled around, you had been messaging each other constantly, with no end to the conversation in sight and the only long pauses being when you were both asleep or working. It seemed like you would never run out things to talk about. Namjoon hadn’t messaged someone this frequently since he got out of his last relationship. It felt nice to relay his mundane day to day events to someone and he found himself excited to hear about your mundane, like how you decided to mix two different types of bad coffee blends to make a shockingly worse one. He was surprised again at how fast he felt comfortable around you. It was even starting to scare him a little - he only knew you for three days and it felt like he had known you forever! What was this weird spell you had on him?

The conversation Monday, however, was fairly sparse, and Namjoon was eager to set up plans for the next day, so that night he decided to call you.

After the first three rings, he was overthinking his decision. Maybe it was too soon to call? Maybe you didn’t like talking on the phone? What if it went to voicemail? Would he have to leave a message? What would he say? His inner monologue was quickly halted at the sound of your voice.

“Hello, this is Y/N” you sounded distant, almost too formal. He felt nervous.

“Hi… uh... this is Namjoon. Is this a bad time?”

“Oh Namjoon! Sorry I didn’t check who called when I picked up!” Relief washed over him at the change of your tone. “Sorry one sec can you hold on.” he heard you say as your voice got mumbled. He waited while he heard you talk to someone about proposals and deadlines. Were you still at work? He checked his watch - it was 10 pm. He didn’t know whether to be impressed by your work ethic or worried that you were overworking.

“Hi sorry about that! How are you?” He relaxed at your airy tone and smiled.

“I’m good. Are you still at work?”

“Yeah it’s only like 7 so it’s no big deal. I usually leave around 8” Were you serious?

“Y/N… It’s 10:04…” He was shocked at how nonchalant you sounded, and suddenly he had his answer - he was worried, not impressed. He had known you for three days and already you were setting his caretaker alarm off. He wanted to scold you for being careless and overworking, like he’s used to doing for the boys, but he knew it was too soon. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling that way all of a sudden and tried to suppress his protective instincts.

“No it’s not! It’s…” He could hear your voice going further away as he imagined you moving the phone in front of you to check the time. “Oh shit you’re right. What the hell? Okay sorry I’m gonna put you on hold again.” Before he could say anything he heard your voice again, distant again but loud. “Oh my god. Guys, it’s 10pm. Go home! Why did nobody tell me? No it doesn’t matter we can do that tomorrow. Please go home. Pack up now! You too Siwon, don’t worry I’ll go home after I get off the phone. See you!” He smiled at the sternness of your tone - it reminded him of a teacher dismissing class.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I overworked my team. Had to send the troops home” you laughed and Namjoon felt his heart flutter. 

“I don’t wanna keep you from going home. I can call you back once you get there” he offered. He felt bad that you were staying in an empty office on his account.

“Oh don’t worry about it. It was a lie to get Siwon off my back. I’m probably gonna be here till like 1 or something. I still have to get this done” you said matter-of-factly, like it was the most normal thing in the world. He knew that tone fairly well, having used it multiple times himself when he locked himself in his studio, running on nothing but coffee and energy bars.

“Okay I know we’ve only just met and we have our first date tomorrow, but do you want some company?” He asked before he could stop himself. The line was silent for a bit, and he felt self conscious, scared that he had overstepped and driven you away. Before he could check his phone to see if you had hung up you spoke.

“It’d be pretty boring for you to watch me just type away. Are you sure? It’s pretty late.” He was sure his cheeks would hurt from how wide he smiled.

“It’s not a problem at all. I was going to work tonight too.” He wasn’t. “We can just work together. I’ll bring food. Did you eat yet?” his words tumbled over each other.

“How very college of you.” He could hear you giggling on the line. “Now that I think about it - I’m starving.”

“Okay text me the address, I’ll be there soon.”

He had never been this excited to pretend to work.

  ____________________________

He spotted you as he walked through the doors of the 13th floor, pepperoni pizza in hand. You were sitting at a long desk near the middle of the room. He was surprised as he expected you in an office, but he found you typing away at your desktop. Your hair was tied up in a bun and you were dressed in an oversized beige t-shirt, eyebrows furrowed head bopping to the hip hop track playing through the speakers. You seemed to be in your own little world. He felt like he was spying on you as he leaned against the door watching but he also liked seeing how you acted when you thought no one was watching. He was about to announce his presence when the track changed to a Childish Gambino one and you whooped and started to rap along.

You were now fully head banging and rapping the verse at the top of your lungs. He would be impressed by your fairly good amateur skills if he didn’t find the entire scene so endearing. His heart was doing somersaults as he watched you now fully engrossed in the song, typing forgotten as you got up and started to pretend you were on stage, an imaginary mic in your hand asking haters if they “eatin’ though”. You looked so adorable that he couldn’t help but squeal a little “cute!”

That’s when you saw him, eyes wide. He felt a little bad when he saw how embarrassed you looked, immediately stopping and slapping a hand to your mouth before bursting out in nervous laughter. He could write a whole album with that laugh. Oh he was so whipped, he thought to himself as he made his way to you.

“You know you’re not half bad!” He exclaimed as he set the pizza on the table, pulling a chair next to yours and settling down.

“Do you think your fake compliments will save you from the fact that you were spying on me?” you asked, crossing your hands across your chest, pretending to scowl but failing to.

“First, real compliment. Second, would pizza save me?” He opened the box and proudly smiled, loving the way your eyes lit up as you reached for a slice.

“Yes it will!” you exclaimed as you took your first bite, lightly moaning at the taste. “But erase that memory from your brain please.”

“Nope. Never. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m going to save it forever” he said as he also started on his slice. You pouted up at him, cheeks puffed and it took all the self-control he had to not kiss it off your face. He hadn’t felt this way in so long, it was like you were his first crush. Trying to control his pulse, he asked “What are you working on so late?”

“Oh I have a proposal due for a meeting tomorrow at noon and I’m only halfway through it.” you frowned wistfully at the screen as if willing it to type on its own.

“Can I help?” He asked, knowing fully well that he couldn’t. He just had an overwhelming urge to make that frown disappear.

“You being here is help enough,” you smiled sincerely as you looked at him and he felt his heart explode, a blush creeping on his cheeks as he smiled bashfully. “What are you working on?”

“I have a few songs I have to finish the lyrics for. Been procrastinating” he rubbed the back of his neck as he pulled out the notebook from his back pocket.

“Can I help?” you echoed his question to which he echoed your response grinning. He wasn’t lying though. Even though he had planned to not really work, as the night progressed he found the change from his usual writing spot inspiring. Sitting next to you, the sound of the keyboard clicking was soothing leading to words pouring out of him. He filled pages as he stole glances at you concentrating on your proposal, tongue peeking from between your lips, still bobbing to the music which was now playing from your airpods instead of the speakers. He smiled at the sight, before focusing on his notebook.

After about an hour or so of hard work, he finished three songs that he had allotted himself the whole week to do. This was the most productive hour he had all month. Antsy for a break, he looked over at you and found you staring at him, a hand under your chin. As he met your gaze you smiled.

“You’re really hot when you concentrate. Has anyone ever told you that?” you commented. He was taken aback by your remark, heart fluttering at your smirking face. Not missing his chance and spurred on by the comment, he scooted closer in one sweep till your knees touched and you were face to face.

“You’re one to talk. I couldn’t stop looking at you this past hour.” Gazing into your eyes, he was amused to see your smirk disappear as it was now your turn to be shocked. He reached out and tucked a stray hair behind your ear letting his hand linger, enjoying the way you sighed as he did. “Can I make good on my promise now?” He whispered, his face centimeters away, looking at your lips. The way you bit your lower lip made him want to take you there and then. The desk looked big enough. Hell, even if it wasn’t he could make it work.

“Promise?” you whispered as he watched your eyes flutter to his lips.

“To kiss you first...” Too impatient to wait for your answer, he brought his lips to yours, relishing how soft they felt under his own. He was thrilled at you returning the kiss, deepening it as you grabbed the collar of his shirt to bring him closer just like you did after the party. He was beginning to think this was your signature move, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t immensely turn him on. He moved his hand cupping your face to rest on your neck and he could feel your heartbeat mimicking his. He put his other hand around your waist pulling you closer, wanting to be as close to you as he could get. He traced his tongue over your lips, his head cloudy with endorphins as you opened your mouth inviting him in. He had never tasted something so euphoric, his tongue exploring yours in a rush.

He could feel you pushing forward as he leaned back and allowed you to straddle his lap, your legs on either side of the chair. As soon as you were on his lap, he pulled you closer, both arms around on your hips, your chest flushed with his. He kissed the side of your mouth as he made his way down your jaw to your neck. You smelt like vanilla mixed with a fresh flower garden, and he was sure this smell was better than any drug in the world. He could hear your breathy moans as he sucked where your neck met your collarbone, licking to soothe it before moving further. He wanted to taste all of you. Your hands were in his hair and each tug made him groan into you, making him harder. He could kiss you like this forever. He wanted to save this moment so he could come back to it and relive it. He traced his hands up and down your sides, moving under your shirt but remaining on your waist, enjoying the feel of your soft skin.

“Namjoon… Namjoon... slow down” he heard you say breathlessly as he felt a slight push. He looked up at you, your eyes half lidded and lusty as you grabbed his face and brought it to yours. You were sending him mixed signals, but he didn’t care as long as he could keep kissing you.

“We have to slow down or I’m going to want to fuck you right here.” You whined as you both came back up for air, but you kissed him again nevertheless. Hearing you say that made him want to do anything in his power to make that happen.

“I don’t mind, baby,” he said against your lips, kissing you with urgency, biting your lower lip and pulling it gently to elicit another moan from you. To his disappointment, you seemed to have better self-control than him as you pushed him back, both of you panting as you struggled to catch your breath. He moved his hand back to your hips tracing little circles, feeling comforted by you smoothing his hair you had pulled earlier.

“There are cameras here. I’d rather not make a sex tape on our first date.” You giggled as you pointed to the black sphere in the corner of the room. He had never hated the obsession buildings had for security more, but the crudeness of your comment made him laugh. He had almost forgotten this was your first date, it felt like he had kissed you a thousand times before. You tasted like the relief of an awning in the middle of a summer downpour.

“I think we need to cool down,” you say as you climb off of his lap. “Let’s go.”

He followed you as you led him to the little kitchenette near the end of the room, unable to resist the urge to wrap his hands around your waist in a back hug. He knew he was being too clingy for a first date, but the way you giggled and put your hands over his gave him assurance.

“Lemonade, coke, or water,” you asked as you peered into the fridge.

“You.” He smirked kissing your neck, feeling bold off of the high from your makeout session. 

“Joon!” you pretended to sound scandalized as you turned in his arms, smiling warmly. The nickname made his heart swell. It added a familiarity that he didn’t know he missed from you.

“You haven’t called me Joon before. I like it” he smiled as he pecked your lips.

“Hey! We are cooling down! No kissing! Now pick” you chided and Namjoon couldn’t help but wonder if you were this assertive in bed too, a million scenarios playing in his head. Okay, you were right, he needed to cool down.

“I’ll just have water, thanks,” he said as he grabbed the bottle you passed him, opening and gulping half of it. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was for something other than you. You both made your way to the tables, sitting across from each other.

“So did you finish your proposal?” He asked trying to cool himself but failing as he noticed you running the cold water bottle against your neck, the beads of condensation dripping on your shirt. He cleared his throat as he tried to focus his attention on your eyes, a mantra of stay focused playing in his head.

“Yes! Finally! It’s perfect.” you smiled proudly and somehow he felt a wave of pride too. “What about you? Made any progress?”

“Actually yes. I kind of finished my entire week’s writing in that one hour” he was still amazed by his own progress.

“Okay, Mr Overachiever” you joked and he chuckled.

“To be honest, I didn’t think I’d be able to write anything, but I don’t know your presence is kind of soothing. It helped me focus.” Watching your smile grow wide, he continued, “I’ve been having pretty severe burnout this past month and it has just been hard to put down my thoughts, even non-lyrical ones.” He fidgeted with the water bottle as he looked at it, avoiding eye contact.

He didn’t know why he was telling you this. He recalled when he told you about his struggles as a leader during your first conversation. Somehow being around you led him to vomit out his feelings. It was… unlike him. Namjoon was usually not this honest on dates, or relationships, as much as he would hate to admit it. That’s the reason he broke off his last one. He felt bad lying to her about a busy schedule when he just wanted to be alone. She would have understood, she was kind and thoughtful, but it just felt easier to lie and not put the effort in to explain his thoughts. Even when they broke up, he lied and told her that it was because he couldn’t handle being in a relationship at the moment, when in reality things had cooled off a while ago and he felt guilty as his feelings faded.

He felt your hand reach out and grab one of his, intertwining your fingers. He felt comforted by the gesture as you rubbed your thumb across him before you spoke two words that warmed his heart. “I understand.”

“You know it’s hard to work at full speed all the time. It’s okay to not be at a hundred all the time. The valleys feed the peaks” you continued. It was a simple remark, but it sounded surprisingly poetic to him. He hadn’t felt this understood outside of the boys for a long time. It was refreshing. It was terrifying. He resisted his natural urge to run and hide.

“Are you speaking from experience?” he asked, needing to divert the attention away from his own vulnerabilities.

“Yeah. I had it pretty tough a couple of years ago. Too much pressure from myself, too many expectations. Led to too many vices and panic attacks” you shrugged as you continued and he squeezed your hand to comfort you. “It creeps up from time to time but my therapist and I have it handled” He looked at you in awe. You hadn’t given him a throwaway answer or switched the limelight back at him. You wasted no time in being as vulnerable as him, if not more. He knew at that moment that regardless of where this thing went, he wanted you to know you better.

“Thank you for being honest.” He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it gently. It was an intimate gesture but he wanted you to know how much he appreciated your words - how much he appreciated you - in that moment. You both sat in comfortable silence for a little while, playing with each other’s hands that were still intertwined, till one of you yawned loudly causing the other to giggle. With the weight of the conversation lifting, you both fell back into playful banter as you decided to pack up and call it a night.

“Do you want me to walk you to your car?” Namjoon asked, wanting to drag the night on longer despite it already being almost 2 am.

“Don’t judge me but I actually don’t know how to drive. I was just going to cab back.” he saw you giggle bashfully as you pulled your backpack over your shoulders.

“Oh, no judgment here! Me neither” he laughed. Why does everyone think it is such a big deal to not drive? It’s better for the environment! “Do you want to take one together? I don’t really want you to ride alone this late.” He rubbed the back of his neck, hoping he didn’t come off as if he was trying to dictate what you did.

“I’d really like that,” you said as you walked towards the elevators. He held your hand as you both got on, liking the way you moved closer to him at that. 

In the cab you both sat closer than necessary, his arm wrapped around you as you both made plans for your scheduled date later that day, trying not to doze off. When the cab stopped all too soon at your apartment, he kissed you gently as he told you how much he enjoyed your company.

That night laying in bed, his heart felt full as he read your goodnight message. He was sure of it now. He really wanted you in his life.

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[boylebingo]

fic writers tag

@montygreen​ tagged me in this ages ago but I have been having the nuttiest couple of weeks so it took me a hot sec to get to this, but I do appreciate it and if you somehow don’t already follow leila on here, you should go do that rn

now down to business :) 

1) How many works do you have on AO3? only 3 at the moment! 

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 45238 as of today 

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? just never have i ever! although i’m sure there are a few unfinished, never-published, years-old stories from assorted fandoms from when I was younger floating around in the void somewhere

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha well I’ve only got 3 published, but the number one spot goes to vanilla ice cream, which makes sense since it’s the only one i’ve actually finished so far 🙈

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

none of them? i feel like the reason i often read fic is because there is some unresolved canon-angst that i want someone else to resolve so while i definitely have points of tension, all of my stories tend to end (or are planned to end) happy  

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i think vanilla ice cream will still probably be the fluffiest bc of that epilogue i decided to write last minute, even once i finish all the others. but they’re all pretty happy 🥰

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

not so far, though i try to make it a habit to never say never. I think its one of those things that’s really difficult to write well and I’m just not sure it’s in my skillset to do so. but who knows? maybe one day! 

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

see above haha. it’s pretty much the exact same answer :) 

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

I really try to answer all of them, although I know I missed a bunch while I was on a sorta unplanned writing hiatus. It’s only been a year of me posting anything I’ve written and it still genuinely baffles me that people not only read but also enjoy the things I put out there into the world, so every “thank you for reading” is from the heart for me and it’s so worth taking the two seconds to make my appreciation known. 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, thankfully! i think part of that is just i haven’t been around that long haha

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but how cool is that? i wasn’t even really aware that was a thing that could happen! 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but if anyone wants to feel free to hmu 👀 i am super busy rn but i would love to eventually cuz so many of the folks who write for this show are so talented

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh gosh. all time is really, really hard. obvi for NHIE i’ve fully boarded the ben/devi train, but some other all time TV faves of mine are ben/leslie from parks&rec, david/patrick from schitts creek, and josh/donna from the west wing. you might be able to tell i love a rivals to lovers moment from some of these lol 💀 but there are so many that i love for different reasons it’s like picking a favorite child lmao

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do have plans to finish the 2 remaining fics up on ao3, but I will admit, the rosy dot over the i of loving was... ambitious, and not exactly well thought out when I started it. so it may be a while. i haven’t started much else new since those 3 went up, since i’ve been trying to finish what i’ve started. but i have had this ben/devi idea rattling around in my brain ever since i read the book “the unhoneymooners” that I am just not sure i’ll ever quite get around to. 

16) What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i’m pretty good at writing dialogue! in college, i took a creative writing class for playwriting, where it was drilled into our head that you want to get as much of the story as humanly possible out through words, rather than actions. basically my professors argument was that any stage direction could be ignored by a director if the action/object/setting/etc. wasn’t directly referred to in lines said by a character. so if it was important to you, we should make someone talk about it! i think because of that my narration tends to be a little sparser (but hopefully that’s to the benefit of the dialogue!!)

oh, and i also took a class in humor writing and got an A, so.... 👀

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i could be a lot better at coming up with themes/symbols/metaphors/etc. Having not really planned out the WIPs on AO3 now, this was hard to do, so I guess that also goes hand in hand with my time management haha. But yeah I find it a little difficult to have those sorts of literary devices in longer works (i used to write a lot more poetry and it was a little easier for me in that format so i have faith that i can get better).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i only fluently speak english and you do not want to see me butcher french or german, let alone a language I’ve never taken courses in. so it’s a hard no for me personally haha. that said if you know more than another language, first of all i’m jealous, and second of all, go for it! 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i don’t really know! like i said i used to write things without publishing them anywhere, so it’s hard to remember. maybe harry potter, when I was like 10? i feel like i probably wrote the same self-insert hogwarts moment that literally every 10 year old in the late-aughts was writing haha

i know for sure there was a b99 fic that was almost published on ao3 back in like season 2 or 3? that’s why my username is what it is 😊

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i’m really proud of finishing vanilla ice cream. buuuut i am also really proud of the poems in the rosy dot over the i of loving and i think if i ever finish that one, it will be my favorite for pushing me out of my writing comfort zone.  

Tagging: fellow benvi advocate and @gross-vishwakumar and anyone else who would like to answer that hasn’t already been tagged by someone else cuz i know i got to this a bit late lol 🙈

[honney-pies]

Ma Cherie❤︎

Chapter iv: Bona Fide

Pairing: Inuokku/ F! OC

Summary: Sometimes it’s hard to bare the genuine, real parts of your soul, but the more you do, the easier it can be.

Content Warning: major character death, slight gore, ya girl really tried to be descriptive during a fight scene, use of blades, stabbing, ripping limbs off, etc., gay people, Kanae having sad thoughts about life and people who have died, no-no words, spoilers for jjk season two, and jjk0, lmk if I’ve missed anything and I’ll add it!

Length: 5.5k

A/n: so this chapter mainly evolves around kanae and the tail end of jjk 0. I know it’s a lot shorter than the previous chapter, but their wasn’t a lot left to write lol. I wanted to end it on a happier note cause i need some fluff after the leaks cause wtf gege???? How could you do this to me???? And finally seeing Gojo’s episode in Shibuya (I won’t go into detail cause it only came out two days ago, but you know the one) has devastated me to my core and has left me in shambles. Also it has come to my attention that I’ve been spelling Yuta’s name wrong this whole time so I’m sorry. 😭Anyway, please enjoy!

Ma Cherie master list

Bona Fide -genuine, real, to be in good faith

─── ⋆⋅ December 2017 ⋅⋆ ── 

When Kanae wakes up, she’s in a tangled mess of her lover, and future lover’s, limbs. She opened her eyes to see Satoru standing above her, bandages off as he smiles down at her. 

“C’mon, let’s get breakfast. Megumi-chan is waiting for us at the front,” he whispers. She reaches up and grasps his hand, but the boys’ arms are wrapped tightly around her. She huffs, but she still smiles.

“Gimme a sec, Toru-nii.” He looks down at the girl, a knowing smile on his lips before quietly leaving the room. Kanae continues to struggle as she tries to make her way out of the mess of bodies. However, neither boy lets her leave, their arms pulling her closer to their bodies. 

‘Shit, this is really nice.’

 “Toge, Yuta, I need to leave,” she whispers softly. Yuta grumbles before scooting closer to her. Kanae feels slightly annoyed at her family for making her leave such a cozy place, but she still knew Satoru wouldn’t have gotten her up if he didn’t need to be near her for his own peace of mind. 

When she finally made her way from her bed, she got to see Yuta and Inumaki tangle themselves together, she snapped a couple photos, some on her first phone where she held the people she cares about the most, on her current phone, and a polaroid. After Suguru left Kanae made it a point to take as many pictures as possible, in order to keep as many memories alive as possible.

‘ 12/20/17 - first sleepover together’  Kanae smiles softly as she wrote, before getting dressed and slipping out the door. She quickly made her way to the front of the school, spotting her little brother and her dad bickering.

“She doesn’t have two boyfriends, Gojo.”

“She does, Megumi, you need to get over it.” Megumi looks over and spots his older sister and begins walking over to her.

“Do you have two boyfriends, nee-san?” She shakes her head and laughs at Megumi’s victorious ‘ha.’

“No, but we’re slowly getting there.” Megumi whips his head around so fast, Kanae nearly got whiplash. 

“What?” She laughs again and reaches up and messes up his hair. He grumbles and swats at her hands. 

“How did you get two boyfriends before I even got one?” She smirks at the boy.

“I’m awesome, have an amazing personality, and I’m hot. Who wouldn’t want me, ‘gumi?” He groans and shoves her away. 

“Where do you want to go for breakfast, Megumi-chan?”  Megumi looks at Satoru and thinks before shrugging his shoulders. The three of them wander around before finding a small place to eat. It has been a couple weeks since they all went out and Megumi talks about the latest documentary he watched before getting up and going to the bathroom. Satoru uses this opportunity to turn to Kanae.

“I don’t want you in Tokyo.” Kanae looks up at him, confused. 

“Chances are Suguru will be in Tokyo, I don’t want you seeing him like that. I’ve already made arrangements for Utahime to watch over you in Kyoto.” Kanae watches her dad’s face closely and notices a slight twitch. 

“You’re… you’re gonna kill him, aren’t you?” Satoru looks up at the ceiling, letting out a heavy sigh. He reaches out and grabs her hand, holding it tightly. 

“I don’t have a choice anymore, Kanae. He’s… he’s hurt too many people, killed too many people. I’ve spent so many years waiting around for him to come back, but you and I both know he won’t. I don’t want you to see that.” Kanae frowns at him before kicking his shin to make him look at her.

“I have the right to see him. I have the right to say goodbye. No, I don’t want to see him die, but I at least want to be there to make sure he goes with the people he loves. I’ll go to Kyoto, but I’m going to be there to say bye. No one will take that away from me.” Satoru sighs loudly before nodding his head.

“Fine, but I still don’t think you should.” 

“I know, but I want to.” Megumi comes back to the booth and quickly notices the tense atmosphere. When he goes to question it, Kanae shakes her head.

“What do you want for your birthday ‘gumi?” He looks thoughtful for a moment before stating he wants more books. Kanae smiles and tells him she’ll make sure to get him some. 

“What do you want nee-san?” She ‘hmm’s before smiling brightly.

“Toru-nii to not give homework!” Satoru looks extremely offended at the very thoughtt.

“I never assign homework in general!” 

“Oh right, uh, well… I guess I don’t really know what I want.” Megumi groans in response. You see, Kanae has a lot of things she wants, but she chooses not to say what it is. It’s infuriating and it ends with Satoru closing down a mall and letting her run wild. Some may think that’s an unwise choice financially speaking, but it’s not as bad as when he let her get whatever she wanted from a book store. Now that was a taxing trip. 

Satoru makes sure to get them things on Christmas and on their birthdays and the two get spoiled endlessly, unfortunately some habits are a little tougher to break when it comes to asking for what you want or need. 

While the family began the walk back to school. Megumi was a little more talkative than normal, not that anyone was complaining. It was really nice to hear him be that free when it came to spending time with them, especially since he’s been extra quiet since Tsumiki was not an active member of the family for the time being.

When they were younger, Megumi had a harder time adjusting than Tsumiki. The two girls were close in age and got along rather easily. However, it took years for Megumi to open up and shortly before Tsumiki was cursed did he begin to call Kanae his older sister. 

─── ⋆⋅ March 2016 ⋅⋆ ─── 

Tsumiki and Kanae were both walking around their middle school to go bother, to check on Megumi. Before they could turn down the second year hall, some boys blocked the hall and began to get in their faces. 

“Wow look at this, some pretty girls came to say hello.”

“Wanna go out with me?” 

“I bet she’s a freak, the quiet ones always are.” The two girls have had to deal with these comments for years, but that didn’t mean they would tolerate it. 

“The fact you think you even have a chance with either of us makes me sick. Move.” The boys still didn’t budge.

“Oh~ I love them feisty! Keeps me interested.” Kanae then made her way in front of Tsumiki.

“I’m not asking, move.” One of them scoffed at her, rolling his eyes, “Or what?” Kanae went to shove her way past them, and maybe break their micropenis’, with Tsumiki, but before she could, the guy’s face was smashed into the wall with a very angry boy behind him. 

“Do you not have basic manners? When someone says no, or implies no, it means no. Go back to kindergarten if you’ve forgotten. And don’t you ever go near my sisters again, if you do I’ll tear you to shreds.” The three boys run off, clearly embarrassed, as one of their noses bled. 

“Aw, ‘gumi!” The dark haired boy turned around. 

“What?” Kanae and Tsumiki giggled quietly.

“Megumi, you called us your sisters.” The poor boy turned red, becoming uncharacteristically shy. He quickly turned around, making his way back to class to finish his after school necessities. 

“Ya hear that Tsumi? I’ve officially become an older sister!” Tsumiki smiled.

“He’s thought of you as his sister for a while now.” Kanae hummed.

“I know, he’s been acting like I am. It just feels different now that he’s actually said it.” The two continued their walk to Megumi’s classroom, Tsumiki listening as Kanae told her all the latest gossip. 

─── ⋆⋅ December 2017 ⋅⋆ ─── 

Kanae and Satoru had just dropped Megumi off at home and are now making their way back to the school when Kanae grabs Satoru’s hand with her own, swinging it gently.

“Hey dad?” Satoru’s hand twitches slightly by his side as he turns his head towards her, letting out a small hum in acknowledgment.

“You know that I’ve pretty much always thought of you as my dad right? ‘Gumi does too.” Satoru smiles softly at her, giving her hand a small squeeze.

“I know. I’ve always thought of you as my kid… Megumi-chan and Tsumiki-chan too, but you’ll always be my first.” Kanae smiles widely before pulling Satoru into a hug. He chuckles and wraps his arms around her.

“Thank you for taking me in when you didn’t need to. When you get gross and old I’ll do the same for you.” Satoru gently shoves her away, gasping loudly. 

“How dare you? I’m never getting gross, I’ll be this hot forever!” The two laugh as they walk around in search of a good sweet shop, plans of returning long forgotten with the amazing, stunning, magnificent idea of eating junk food and gossiping. Although neither one really had anything to talk about, so they decided to make fun of the people walking by them when they pass a sunglasses shop. 

“No! You can’t come with me, that defeats the point of me getting anything! Wait, don't go yet, gimme your card first.” 

While Kanae walks around the shop she finds a nice pair of blackout sunglasses, rectangle purple frames she thinks would look good on Maki. As she made her way to the cashier, she notices an… interesting pair of sunglasses that she just knew she had to get.

‘If I don’t get them, the world just might end.’ Kanae grins so brightly as she walks out, Satoru just grabs the bags and doesn't try to peek at what was inside them. 

‘I’m such a great father.’ 

The two finally made the trek back to the school, deciding not to teleport in order to spend as much time together even though Kanae regretted that decision immensely about ten minutes into the walk. 

“Toru-nii, carry me,” she said, drawing out the ‘e’. 

“Nope.” Kanae groans loudly before pulling out her phone.

“Who’re you texting?” She positions her screen away from Satoru.

“No one.” Satoru then felt a buzz in his pocket.

‘Incoming call from Muscle Man’

“Ah, hel-”

“Satoru! Stop abusing the child! God Damn!” That was all that was said before Yaga promptly hung up. When Satoru looks over, Kanae’s trying her best to hold in her laughter before Satoru picks her up and begins to carry her. 

“I feel like I’m five again.” 

“You sure as hell don’t feel like it.” Kanae smacks him in the head. When Kanae and Satoru were younger, Satoru made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t use infinity when he was around her. Of course there are exceptions to this, like if they’re on a mission, or something like that. About fifteen minutes later Kanae got down and continues walking, although she nearly fell over when Satoru tried to jump on her back. 

“Satoru, no!”

“Satoru, yes!” 

Kanae, for a short period of time at least, felt as if she was a normal teenager. That’s something Satoru has always worked hard to do for all his kids, students and family alike. 

“It’s unforgivable to steal the youth away from kids.”

Kanae has always appreciated that about him. When they finally made it back, Nanami was waiting for them at the front of the school. The poor man had been sent to make sure Satoru attends more meetings. Kanae had been “trained” to start and prolong conversions for as long as possible if this were to happen.

“Hi, Nanamin! How are you today?” Nanami, who had only recently come back into Kanae’s life after years of trying to distance himself, has always had a sweet spot for the young girl. 

“I’m fine, how are you Kanae-kun?” Kanae then pointed at Satoru, who had somehow managed to carry an obscene amount of bags the whole way home.

“I went shopping and we found this really cute place for lunch. Are there more meetings you guys need to go to?” Nanami shook his head.

“Only Gojo-san. I’m done for the day.” Satoru groans before handing the bags to Nanami, telling him not to break anything. Satoru ruffles Kanae’s hair and drags his feet to the campus. 

“I hear you might be getting another boyfriend soon, the Okkotsu boy.” He watches as her cheeks turn a light shade of pink, letting him know that this was indeed the case. Kanae quickly turned on her heel and began speed walking to her dorm room. Nanami sighed and started to walk. He, the tall fucker he is, only had to speed up ever so slightly to keep up with her. 

“Kanae, how are you doing?” Nanami once again watches in the corner of her eyes as she deflates. Kanae looks up at the sky. Seeing Kanae act like this made him remember how much, how long, Satoru’s raised her. The two are incredibly similar when it comes to their mannerisms, attitude, and ideology, but none of these similarities make them any less their own person.

“Do… Do you think that things would be for the better if ‘bara didn’t die? I mean I know they would, but just how different? Would you be happy? Would Toru-nii and Sugu-nii be happy? Would I be happy? Don’t get me wrong, I am, but it’s different. Seeing him again, after so many years hurt. I can only imagine what it was like for others, for Toru.” Nanami knew where the girl was coming from. He had seen how Suguru broke when Haibara died. He had seen the way he broke himself. 

Haibara was Nanami’s first love, and he thinks he’ll be his last as well. He remembered the feeling of his heart breaking, the feeling of his limp body, becoming a lifeless one in his arms. After his death, Nanami refused to go on missions, finished his education, and left the shaman world. He remembers the solemn look on Kanae’s face, even at the age of eight she understood why the recent graduate needed to leave. The two didn’t keep in touch all that well, Nanami only picking her up from school on the rare occasion Satoru couldn’t. Not too long ago Nanami had joined the shaman world again, and Kanae had welcomed him with open arms just as she had when she found out of Haibara’s death. 

Nanami can only imagine how many people she’s offered her comfort to after the death of a loved one, and he feels guilty for making her go through it continuously even though he’s not the direct cause. 

When the two finally reach her room, they hear soft voices on the other side.

“Do you know when she’ll be back?” 

“I know, I know, but I still feel like she might need or want some hugs or something!” Nanami, again, watches Kanae smile softly. Before she could open the door, Nanami quietly set down the bags and wrapped his arms around the girl. He may not see her as a daughter, or a sister, but he still cares quite deeply for Kanae. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers softly. She digs her hands into his blazer and lets out a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry, too.” The two stay like that for a minute before separating. Nanami picks up the bags and Kanae opens the door to see the two boys wrapped up beneath her sheets, cuddling. She smiles brightly before flopping herself on the bed, stretching out. Nanami sets down the bags in the corner of her room.

“Thanks, Nanamin!” Nanami nods his head, gives the boys a once over, and closes the door behind him. He pulls out his phone, sending Satouru a text letting him know she’s safe in her room. 

Kanae feels a slight nudge on her hip and she looks up to see Inumaki casting a glance at Yuta. The poor boy’s face took on a bright shade of pink. Kanae smiles before crawling up to the top of her bed, settling down behind him. 

“Aw, Yuta! Are you embarrassed?” The boy vehemently shakes his head before looking at her.

“Oh, are you shy?” He nods his head slowly. Kanae snuggles a little closer and wraps one arm around Yuta, playing with Inumaki’s fingers. 

“That was Nanami. He used to go to school here, I guess he was also my babysitter.” Yuta lets out a soft ‘oh’. 

“Are you both not shy,” he prods gently. Inumaki shakes his head, before resting it on Yuta’s shoulder. 

“No, we’re not. You could say the two of us are used to people constantly barging in. Toru-nii and ‘gumi still do it all the time. It’s super annoying when we’re watching a movie or something.” Yuta nods his head, resting it gently atop Inumaki’s. 

The three spent the rest of the night like that, cuddling and enjoying one another’s company until the sun came up and they could no longer ignore the impending events that would forever change the world as they knew it. 

—————————-

December 24, 2017 - the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons - the death of Geto Suguru

Kanae wakes that day with no one beside her, leaving her bed feeling empty and cold. She spent the night agonizing over every little thing, preparing herself for the loss of shaman that would be bound to come later in the day. 

When it came time to go to Kyoto, Kanae said her goodbye’s to everyone, not knowing if she would see them when morning came. Satoru accompanied her all the way to Kyoto, not wanting her to be lonely. The two spend the car ride in relative silence, not knowing what to say to make the other feel better. 

Ijichi comes to a halt after some time, signaling that they have arrived. Satoru got out of the car first, opening the door for Kanae. Stepping out, she could see most of the Kyoto school waiting on the other side, slightly unnerving her, but she ignored it. As she surveys the crowd, Kanae sees plenty of familiar faces, all somber, looking at the both of them with pity. Very few people in the shaman world didn’t know of the tragic story of their small family. Utahime was the first person who stepped forward, greeting the girl. The rest begin to follow shortly. 

After the teachers had a small discussion to the side, far enough out of earshot, Satoru decides it’s time to take his leave. Kanae gives him a small hug before he goes.

“You’ll come get me right?” 

“I promised, didn’t I? Be safe.”

“You too.” Noritoshi rests a small, light touch on her shoulder as she watches as his car becomes nothing more than a speck on the horizon. Kanae sighs softly before smiles brightly, a fake one that doesn’t reach her eyes, not by a long shot, and begins to make her way to the school. 

“All right, let's get this shit show over with.”

————————————-

The students were in charge of clearing out the curses as much as possible and containing them to their designated area, which resulted in them being in the semi front lines. Foolish, I know, but unfortunately Gege is a sadist. 

Noritoshi has never seen Kanae fight a curse before, and he’s frankly a little frightened by his little sister. She has a malice dripping grin on her face, several cuts bleeding profusely, and a rusty kitchen knife defying the laws of physics. 

He watches as she accidentally drops the knife while a curse runs towards her, mumbling a small ‘fuck,’ before twisting her body so her right side’s facing it. He watches in fascination and mild disgust when she moves efficiently, shoving her right foot near its feet, jamming her right side into its chest area, grabbing its limb, and rips the limb from its body. Kanae then quickly maneuvers her body to shove the limb down its mouth with so much force, the back of the head is left with a gaping hole. 

“Now that’s a pretty extreme take on fisting, if I do say so myself.” Noritoshi doesn’t know how she can continue to make jokes at a time like this, much less where the energy comes from, but if he has to guess he’d say it was from Satoru. Kanae rushes over to her knife and picks it up, but not before another hoard of curses charge towards her. 

She makes quick work of them, jumping up and landing on a curse. Kanae uses that moment of confusion to dig her knife into one’s face and drag it out the side of its face. She uses the curse as a stepping stone to make her way onto the back of the next one. Kanae takes her left hand to jam the knife in the right side of its neck, yanking it through the left. The next one gets a little too close for comfort, right when Noritoshi was going to shoot an arrow, he sees the knife leave her hand and quickly shoot itself through the chest of the curse. The knife was covered in blood, Kanae’s and curses alike. It continues in its conquest to protect its wielder while Kanae grabs the head of another and forces it clean off of the rest of its body. However, she doesn’t drop the head, she swings her arm to backhand the curse coming up from behind. The curse doesn’t go flying, but it does stagger a couple steps back, far enough away that Kanae grabs hold of her knife, ramming it in its legs. She drives the blade through the curse’s limbs. Her face has a little splatter of its blood. Kanae reaches up and wipes it away with her thumb. 

“Gross.”

He watches her closely, not quite able to shake the dread of something potentially happening to the girl. He watches as she moves precisely and lodges the blade into the creature's eye, killing it, before throwing the knife, which scares the daylights out of him when it whizzes right past his head, and into a curse getting too close to Nishimiya's broom. She makes a slight pulling motion with her hand, causing the weapon to return to her. 

He watches as she throws herself in front of Mai, effectively blocking an attack. He watches as she practically flies from curse to curse, annihilating everything in her way. Again, it terrifies him to see a usually collected and care free girl attack so gracefully and primal all at once. 

Kanae feels something grabbing at her leg and sees it’s a curse. Before she could even take the time to angle herself in a harmful manner, Miwa slices through the limb. Kanae smiles at the girl, voicing a breathless ‘thanks,’ before continuing to move. Noritoshi sighs softly and makes his way to his next target. 

Some time later when the battle is almost over, he sees a trail of carnage, Kanae at the front, leading the destruction. He knows she can hold her own, hell he’s seen it with his own eyes and Kanae is in the process of evaluation to become a grade one shaman after all, but he’s still surprised at how powerful she is when she doesn’t put herself unnecessarily in harm's way. Though he thinks that maybe that makes her even more powerful at times.

“You’re a force to be reckoned with, aren’t you?” Kanae looks over her shoulder, giving him a tired smile. 

“Red Velvet is having a Christmas special tonight, I’m not going to miss it.” Noritoshi groans as Todo makes a sound of approval. 

“Takada-chan is too.” Kanae nods her head.

“See, even the jackass gets it!” This time, Noritoshi isn’t the only one that groans.

————— 

When the battle finally reaches its conclusion, everyone is extremely tired and sits on a curb, trying to get any ounce of rest possible before they’re undoubtedly drawn into another fight. A small blue speck begins to grow in front of them, and they all quickly rise to their feet, prepared to fight once again. However, none other than Satoru Gojo appears. His bandages are around his neck. Satoru does a quick once over of all the students before looking at Kanae.

“C’mon, it’s time to say our goodbyes.” She bows slightly to the others, thanking them for their help, before joining her dad’s side, disappearing from view.

“Okay… is it just me, or does she kind of seem inhuman when she fights, like an animal? Also why are his eyes so bright?” The children let out a small laugh at Mai’s comment and begin the walk to the rest of the shaman. 

——————-

There’s a weird sense of deja vu when Kanae steps back into the school grounds. She sees a figure, fatally injured, making their way to them. Even with all the blood, Kanae can tell it’s her brother. He looks up at the two as he slides down the wall, not surprised by their arrival. 

“You’re late, Satoru.”  Without glancing at the man, Kanae knows he has a desolate expression, a pained smile gracing Sugurus face.

“To think you both would be the ones here at my end. Is my family safe?” Kanae’s heart hurts hearing those words, but her heart aches at the sight of her brother grasping an arm that is no longer there. 

“Every last one of them managed to escape. The ones in Kyoto were under your orders, too, right?” Suguru turns his head away from the two, resting his head against the cool bricks.

“Yeah,” his voice laced with pain, “Unlike you I’m a kind man.” Kanae huffs out a small laugh, tears forming on her waterline. Satoru stays motionless, no emotions on his face. 

“You sent those two assuming that O’d defeat them, didn’t you? To set Okkotsu off.” Kanae sends a questioning glance at Satoru, who wouldn’t take his eyes off of his lover. Even after all this time apart, Kanae knew of very few words to describe the two other than that. 

“I trusted you,” those simple words broke something in her. She’s seen first hand the love the two held, hold, for one another, “ Trusted that a man as principled as you wouldn’t kill off young shamans without a reason.” Another creeps its way up Suguru’s lips.

“Trust, huh? I didn’t think I still had any of that left.” He says it more to himself than anything. Suguru releases his shoulder for a second to throw a card at Satoru, but quickly grabs it once again. Kanae quickly glances at the card and sees Yuta’s name. 

“Was the elementary school your doing, too?” Kanae looks at Suguru, a smile still present. 

“Yeah.” 

“I can’t believe you,” Satoru whispers, “ Do you have any last words?” Kanae’s breath hitches and she quickly makes her way over to Suguru, sitting on his right side, placing a land on top of his. He looks at the hand, noticing a few familiar beads. 

“I see you’re wearing my old bracelet, it suits you.” Kanae’s lower lip wobbles, three words dancing on her tongue, but fear of what might happen prevents her from saying them. Suguru moves his head to look at Satoru. 

“No matter what anyone says, I hate those monkeys,” his grip tightening on his arm, or lack thereof, “But I never held any hatred for those in Jujutsu High. I just couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world.”  Satoru takes a few steps forward, squatting down in front of them.

“Suguru,” the said man rolls his head to look at his other half, no energy in his movements anymore, “we’ll meet again.” Suguru’s eyes widen before he lets out a soft laugh, his soft laugh. 

“At least hit me with some curses at my end.” Kanae’s tears freely stream down her face, but she still keeps her mouth closed.  She whispers a barely audible, ‘I love you, Sugu-nii’ and gives him a hug, which he returns, before standing up and taking her place at Satoru’s side. She closes her eyes, not wanting to see his death, and hears the sound of flesh tearing. No heartbeat coming from his body. She makes a fist in Satoru’s jacket, scared that if she were to open her eyes, he would not be there. Satoru places a hand on her head, bringing his little girl into a hug. Kanae couldn’t breathe without sobs racking her body. She feels his hand on her arms, along a tear in her uniform where she had gotten hurt, warmth spreading across her body. He guides her away from Suguru’s body. 

Rubble surrounding a body, slowly decaying, blood gushing everywhere, staining everything it touches, a last desperate plea of I love you,’ life fading from a brother, but this time, they’re not going to come back like before. 

Or will he?

When Kanae finally has the strength to open her eyes, Satoru still keeps an arm around her shoulders. No words are exchanged between the two, but none are needed. She rubs her eyes until they’re raw. The dad and daughter make their way to the others, seeing Rika turn into her human form. An adorable little girl, really. 

Satoru removes his arm from Kanae and claps, Kanae, not knowing what was going on, just claps along with him. 

“Congratulations! You managed to break the curse.” The four first years look confused.

“Who are you?” Kanae chuckles softly, Satoru deadpans.

“Your good looking teacher, Gojo Satoru. I thought the theory Yuta came up with sounded Interesting, so I requested an investigation into their families. The investigation of Rita’s was finished quite a long time ago, but Yuta’s was full of holes at best. So then it came to light. You’re the descendant of Sugawara Michizane! That makes us super, super, super distant relatives!” Kanae gasps, amazed, and laughs at Satoru’s pose.

“Woah, no way!” Yuta looks confused. 

“Uh, who?” Satoru is now dancing.

“One of Japan’s three great apparitions!” Satoru is still dancing. “He’s a super big shot shaman.” Kanae slightly jabs her elbow into Satoru’s ribs. 

“You were right, Yuta. Rika didn’t place a curse on you. You placed a curse on Rika. Now the one who placed the curse has canceled the bond. So long as the one who was cursed doesn’t seek any penalty, it’s fully broken now. Of course, that much is obvious after seeing her in that form.” Yuta falls to the ground, tears flowing onto the cracked cement beneath him. Kanae, while wanting to comfort the boy, stays in place, knowing how overwhelming it can be to have people surround you when you need space to breathe. 

“It was all my fault, wasn’t it? I turned you into that form, I hurt all those people, and I nearly caused everyone to die when Geto came after me!” Kanae feels Satoru tense at her side, she does too. Even after all this time it still catches her off guard when people mention her brother and speak of him like that. Even if they’re mostly correct. Yuta’s hands dig themselves into his hair.

“It’s all… It’s all my…” Kanae watches as Rika makes her way in front of Yuta. She hugs him tightly. “Yuta, thank you… for giving me more time and letting me stay by your side. These past six years, I’ve been happier than I ever was while alive.” Yuta continues to cry, only looking up when Rika lets go and stands up. She backs away from him.

“Bye-bye. Take care. And don’t come over here too soon, okay?” Everyone watches as she fades away, officially beginning to rest.

“Woah… I didn’t know death could be that sparkly or…bubbly,” Kanae whispers. Satoru snorts quietly. 

——————

Everyone’s standing at the school entrance, waiting for Yuta to show up. 

“Did you really call Rika’s death bubbly?” Kanae sighed exasperatingly.

“She literally turned into bubbles, like that one witch from the wizard of oz! How else do I describe it? There was glitter in the air.” Inumaki chuckles, holding Kanae’s hand. The two girls continue their small argument, even though everyone knows Maki laughed when hearing the comment. 

In the distance, they could see Yuta and Satoru walking over to them.

“Come on, Yuta! How long are you gonna keep us waiting? Let’s go!” Yuta makes his way over, standing shoulder to shoulder with Kanae.

———

A new chapter of their lives would begin that day. Kanae would struggle with the loss of her brother and all the emotions that come with it. Yuta would struggle with accepting the love he deserves, but the three of them would learn together. Inumaki, Kanae, and Yuta would slowly start dating and live happily ever after. Well… at least until the entirety of the Shibuya arc gets animated because your darling author doesn’t want to spoil anyone before then, seeing as she deeply regrets reading the manga after seeing season one of the show. 

—————

Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter, ‘purple Lilac blooms,’ will be a 5+1 fic. It should be posted next Saturday 9/30. As always, there is a self insert on my blog and this can be found on ao3. See you later, honney bears!

-honney

[bittywitches]

Kitty Love (Ethan Dolan Fanfic)

GIF credit *@ethanhes​*

A/N: I wrote this sooo long ago (literally right after the first mini home video came out??) but it didn’t even end up being all that related to the vid in the first place....lol

Basically Ethan and Y/N are childhood bffs and Y/N has never really been away from Ethan for that long before and it starts to cause some ~tension~ when she comes to see how things are going on the van

Anyways, thanks for reading, ly <3

“It seriously should not have taken you that long to get here.” Ethan grinned when he saw Y/N walk into the room. 

“Hey, lay off. I’ve never been here before, it took me a while to figure it out.” She smiled back at him, pulling the straps of her backpack closer to her back. 

“Yea yea.” He stretched his arms out, welcoming her into his embrace. She walked into his arms and gave him a tight squeeze. “I’m so bored. Thank you so much for coming, I’d probably shoot myself by now if you didn’t show up.”

She grabbed his shoulders and looked over them, peering over at the others working on the van. Sawdust floated through the entire room, and there was overall dampness in the air that seems to come with all of the wood material around.

“Gray isn’t letting you do any work, huh?” She stepped back from him and was able to catch Grayson’s attention long enough to give him a quick wave. He smiled and waved back, then went back to sawing more wood pieces.

Ethan groaned. “Yeah.”

She shrugged. “Understandable. You can’t do shit.”

“Wow, okay. Fuck you too.”

She giggled and patted his cheek. “So, road trip, huh? Sounds pretty exciting.”

He grinned. “Yea. It’s gonna be so fun. We finally have the time to put more effort into something cool.” The next few weeks were pretty much booked solid for him, filled with one fun thing after the other. They’d take a Road trip to Jersey where he’d be able to hang out with his family for a bit, and then fly out to Australia. Sure, they were cutting it close, but that was all part of the excitement, right?

“Right. And clearly, you’re putting in TONS of effort.” She patted his chest with both hands, chuckling at him a bit. Her eyes seemed to sparkle a bit whenever she did that like there was some magic in there that came out of her with every smile. Maybe it was just the familiarity of her, but whenever Ethan saw her little dimples it sent a warm feeling throughout his chest. 

Ethan and Y/N had been friends for almost forever, and she came over quite often. They’d met each other back in grade school, and became really close as they got older. He was fairly certain she wouldn’t have moved out to LA if the twins hadn’t decided to in the first place. He was confident enough to say she was his closest friend, after Grayson of course. She was his cozy place he could retreat to whenever he wanted. 

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Are you just here to insult me?”

“Hey, you’re the one who called me!”

“And you somehow are making me regret it.”

“Shut up.” She shoved his chest, and he smiled at her.

“So, how are you doing?”

“You ask me that as if you didn’t see me just yesterday.”

“Oh my god, you’re so annoying.” He brushed a hand through his hair. “How're classes going n stuff?”

She sighed, rubbing her shoulders, which were peppered with freckles. They matched the ones on her face, and Ethan loved to run his fingers over them, dragging his finger across the freckles like he was connecting the dots to draw a bigger picture. “Alright, I guess. Everything’s been super boring lately. I just work, eat, go over to your house, and sleep.”

“Sounds pretty fun to me,” Ethan remarked.

“Yeah, well maybe you should take my classes for me and I’ll go on your little road trip.”

Ethan groaned, and she giggled. “Sorry. I don’t mean to complain.”

“No no I’m not annoyed.” He rubbed her elbow. “Maybe you SHOULD come with us. That seems like it’d be more interesting than your classes.”

She laughed. “I know you’re not serious because you’d never kick Kyle off the trip.”

“Who said we’d have to kick off Kyle?”

“That bed can not fit four people!”

“Who says? You can just snuggle up real close to me.”

“Hmmm.. while that does sound appealing...” she stepped closer to him then flicked his nose with her finger, making his heart flutter. “you know that’d never work. School and whatnot.” She slumped her shoulders.

“Yea..” Ethan sighed. “Wish you could though. I’m not gonna see you for so long.”

She looked up at him, head tilted, a gentle look in her eye. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” It looked like she was holding back, but she gave that up and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his chest. Ethan was caught by surprise a bit but loved the feeling of Y/N’s warmth all the same.

“You okay?” He rubbed her back gently, burying his nose into her hair. 

“Yea.” She brought her hands down to rest against his chest, placing her ear next to his heart. “You won’t even be gone that long. Dunno why I feel like I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“E, come over here!” Grayson shouted from the table he was at.

Ethan groaned, annoyed that this was the moment Grayson finally decided he needed his help. “Hey, gimme a sec.” He untangled himself from Y/N, then grabbed her waist, hoisting her up onto the nearest counter. “Be right back.”

“Okayyy.” She dangled her feet, kicking them back and forth as she watched Ethan make his way over to Grayson. Her eyes lingered, as If she was trying to memorize his shape. She was right, he really wouldn’t be gone for that long, but something about not seeing his face every day hit her in a bad way.

Only then did she notice that there was a big white splotch of dust on the back of Ethan’s pants. She giggled, then yelled, “Ethan, when did you start powdering your ass?”

He turned around abruptly, looked down, and smirked as he wiped the dust off of himself. “Eyes up here, honey.”

She sniggered. “All right, hot stuff.”

“You know it!” He yelled when he turned his back to her to keep walking.

She laughed, her eyes following him somewhat wistfully. 

He’s pretty cute, isn’t he? She thought.

Y/N took her bag off her back and set it down next to her on the counter. then brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. She found her eyes kept wandering back to the twins, one in particular. Ethan was wearing a loose sweatshirt and black shorts, and his hair was all ruffled up, a bit of sawdust floating around the top of his head. He had his hands planted on his hips, seeming to look deeply entranced in whatever Grayson was telling him. Y/N giggled, thinking that he probably had no idea what his brother was talking about. She loved Ethan, but his attention was all over the place. He’d never been able to keep his focus on anything for too long.

Except maybe on her.

Ethan wrapped up his conversation with Grayson and started to make his way back to Y/N. she was on her phone, kicking her feet back on forth and they were rhythmically tapping on the side of the counter. Her hair was tied back into a braid, and she was wearing a loose tank top and tights, her sweatshirt wrapped around her waist. She kept fiddling with the hair peeking out over her ear, and Ethan smiled. She seemed to always be fiddling with something, she could never sit still. It was like she could never calm herself down. She always had to be doing something.

Except maybe when with him.

“Hey, sorry about that.” He walked up to the counter. 

“Oh, no problem.” She tucked her phone away into her pocket. “I’m sure you were doing something VERY important.” Her mouth quirked up.

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know that this van wouldn’t be able to be built without my input.”

“Oh, yea? What was Gray asking you about?”

“...the colour of the floorboards.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize you were in a position to make such big decisions.”

“Shut up!” He shoved her shoulder, and she laughed. 

“I’m sorry, teasing you is so fun.” She stretched her arms out for him, and Ethan boosted her off of the counter.

“Jesus, there’s so much dust everywhere.” She wiped the dust off her butt and thighs. 

“I mean that’s kinda what happens when you sit on the dusty counter.”

“Which you put me on.”

“Same difference.”

“Wait, so you’re saying that your powdered ass was a result of you sitting around doing nothing while Grayson’s out here doing all the heavy work?”

“Oh my god, I’m done with you.” He walked off to the other side of the workshop and she laughed as she followed alongside him.

“I’m sorry, you make it so easy!”

——

It had been nearly an hour, and both Y/N and Ethan were bored out of their minds. They debated leaving to go hang out elsewhere, maybe go get coffee, but Ethan didn’t want to leave Grayson alone to be making all the decisions on the van. Like he was making any in the first place.

Ethan kept wandering around the room, looking around at what the others were doing, when he finally settled for a few minutes in one corner of the workshop.

“Y/N LOOK WHO I JUST FOUND.”

Y/N’s head perked up from her phone, looking around for Ethan but unable to catch his eye. “What??”

Ethan stepped around the corner, the biggest grin on his face and the cutest little kitten in his arms.

“Oh. My god.” Y/N jumped off the counter and ran up to him with a smile matching Ethan’s. “Oh my GOD he’s so cute!!”

“Right??” Ethan scratches him below the neck, causing the kitten to purr.

“Oh, you sweet little baby.” She ran her hand over his little head, scratching behind his ears. His nose twitched, and Y/N squealed in delight. “You’re a little cutie, aren’t you?” She said in a baby voice, and it felt like Ethan’s heart had doubled in size.

“Since when do you talk like that?”

“Since you started bringing me the cutest kitten ever.”

She was entranced with the little kitten, love, and adoration pouring out of her. God, she was so adorable. Ethan couldn’t help but feel like he wanted that kind of adoration from her. 

“Yes, you’re just the most adorable thing ever.” She babied the cat, and Ethan couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. 

“He’s so cute givehimtome.”

Y/N went to take the kitten from Ethan’s arms, but he pulled back for a moment, deciding he wanted to have some fun with Y/N for a bit.

“Hold on. This cat is precious. You have to be careful you know.”

“I know how to hold a cat!”

“This cat is a BABY. It’s our baby! I can’t be so carefree with my child!”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “He’s not our baby.”

Ethan gasped and cupped a hand over the kitten’s ear left ear. “Don’t you dare talk like that in front of our son!”

“Ethan come oooon I want to play with it too!”

“Our CHILD is not something to be played with, Y/N! He deserves the utmost care and to be fair I don’t think you can do it.”

“How dare you!” She lunged for the kitten but Ethan turned his back to her, holding the cat out of reach. 

“Ethan careful you’re going to drop him!”

Although Y/N didn’t really think he would. To be honest, the cat seemed to be having a fun time, wiggling his tail about as Ethan held it in his arms. 

“I am being careful, unlike you! You are a danger to this precious creature!”

“Ethan PLEASE! I want the fuzzy baby!” She grabbed his arm and tugged, making him turn around to face her. 

“No Y/N, I can’t trust you. You need to calm down.”

“How am I supposed to come down when you won’t let me hold our son??”

Ethan immediately stopped the charade, blinking at Y/N. Y/N, surprised at Ethan’s abrupt stop, looked up at him expectedly with her arms outstretched. “Give him to me.”

He did so right away and watched how Y/N’s expression of annoyance quickly morphed into one of excitement. 

“You called him our son.”

“I did what I had to do so I could hold him.”

“Uhuh. Sure.”

She rolled her eyes once more and turned her back to him. “I’m walking away now.”

“No you’re not, we need to discuss this! What does this mean for our son??”

“Ethan!”

——

Nearing the end of the day, the rest of the boys and Grayson were finishing up their work on the van.

“E, I’m so tired.”

“Mhm.”

Y/N rubbed her eyes and let out a yawn. “Let’s go home.”

“Come on...” he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and gave her a tight squeeze. “They’re almost done.”

“That’s what they say.” She groaned and leaned into his chest.

“C'mon. Let’s go.” She grabbed his sweatshirt and started to tug him.

“Y/N...”

“Pleaaaase.” She groaned. “I’m exhausted.”

He was tempted, but he knew he’d never hear the end of it if he left Grayson without saying anything.

“Okay... hold on.”

He shouted over to Gray. “Yo! Y/N’s tired, I’m taking her home!”

Gray shot him a thumbs-up, and Ethan turned back to her. “Alright, let's go.”

“Wait. Go where?”

Ethan blinked at her. “Are you high or something?”

“No!”

“You just asked if we could go home. So now I’m taking you home.”

“My home?”

“Okay, are you seriously alright? Did you breathe in too much sawdust?” He creased his eyebrows.

“Ethan!” 

“YES, your home.”

“No wait, I meant your place. Let’s go to your place.”

Ethan raised her eyebrows at her. “This late?”

“I’ll just sleepover.”

“But you have class tomorrow morning.”

Who cares?

“You can drive me.”

“I don’t think I’ll have time to..”

Seeing her face drop made him change his mind completely.

“Yea. I can do that.”

She grinned and pumped her fists into the air. “Yusss, I’m gonna get cuddles.”

Ethan’s faces flushed, and he rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Nope. You will drown in my cuddles.”

She grabbed his sweatshirt and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her nose almost touching his. Ethan’s jaw had dropped just a tiny bit, not knowing what to do, being so close to her. His face heated up so fast, it felt like Y/N could almost feel it, but she laughed. “Carry me to the car?”

“Oh my god, you lazy ass.” 

“Hmph.” She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, then rested her head on his shoulder. Ethan grabbed her thighs and held her tightly, grinning like a fool.

“What’re you smiling about?” Y/N asked him slyly. 

“Nothin’.” He said, making his way towards the car. 

“Dumbass.” She murmured, smiling into his sweatshirt.

---------

“Open the door, it’s freezing.” Y/N shivered, retreating into the sweatshirt Ethan gave her while in the car. 

“Okay, okay. Hold on.” Ethan’s hands fumbled in the cold, shoving the key into the lock and jiggling it vigorously before the door opened.

Y/n couldn’t help but giggle at his red-tinted ears and nose. She could tell he was cold, but he was trying to hide it. Though not very well, because along with his shivering fingers, him shifting his weight from side to side while searching for the key was a dead giveaway. She felt kind of bad taking his sweatshirt, but she also loved that he was willing to do that for her.

“Okay, it’s open.” He huffed.

“Finally.” Y/N ran into the house, kicking her shoes off at the door. “How can it be this cold in LA?”

“We’ve been spoiled by the heat.” He closed the door behind him, placing his shoes next to hers by the door. “Canada would make us it’s bitch.”

“Honestly, yea.” Y/N grabbed Ethan's hand to drag him to his room, but let out a small gasp. “Jesus, your hands are freezing.” 

“Yea, because somebody stole my sweatshirt.” 

“You gave it to me!” 

“Whatever.”

She grumbled. “Okayyy I’m sorry. I’ll give you extra cuddles while we watch a movie to make up for it.”

“Hey, you have school tomorrow.” His eyes softened and he pulled her into his chest, and she huffed into his T-shirt.

“Whatever.” She mocked him.

“Dude, it’s late.” He looked down at her. “You’re not gonna be able to wake up in the morning.” 

“Yea I will.” She shoved him gently. “We’ll watch it on your laptop, then I can just fall asleep on your bed.” 

“Y/N…”

“Come onnnn.” She tugged on his arm, and he sighed in defeat. 

“Okay! Just let me go make some tea or something.” She nodded, letting his hand go so he could leave for the kitchen. “My laptop is on my bed, just pick a movie, ‘kay?” 

She gave him a thumbs-up, then made her way to his bedroom. She plopped down onto his bed, grabbing the laptop then throwing the covers over her. She sighed, relaxing her shoulders at the familiar environment of Ethan’s bedroom. 

Although...

What am I doing here?

Y/N sighed, slumping down further into the mattress. What was she doing here? She had come over to Ethan’s house at midnight, in hopes of watching a movie with him on a weekday? With school tomorrow? What was she doing?

God, I’m so into him, aren’t I?

She groaned, pulling the covers over her head in defeat. The overwhelming smell of Ethan from the sheets only helped fuel her frustration. She grunted, throwing the sheets off of her, trying to free her nose of the scent. 

“ETHAN!” She yelled for him.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” She heard his voice echoing down the hall, followed by his footsteps. He pushed the door open with his side, both of his hands being occupied by two cups of warm tea. He sat himself down on the edge of the bed and handed her one of the cups. “Here.”

She looked at him warily, trying her hardest to take the cup without touching his fingers, which got a weird look from Ethan. She took a sip of the tea.

She groaned.

It was perfect. Exactly how she liked it.

“Oh my god, you suck ass.” She swatted his shoulder in frustration.

“What?” His eyebrows creased. “I swear I did the way you usually do. I soaked the tea bag for exactly three minutes, added the teaspoon of sugar before the milk, and then just one spoon of honey-”

“GOD, I hate you so much.” She shoved him in the shoulder again, groaning as she laid her head back onto the headboard. 

Ethan raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” Y/N mumbled.

“Are you mad at me or something?”

“No!” she said, flustered.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

“Ethan, NO!” 

“Then what the fuck are you so pissy about?”

“NOTHING, okay?” She set her tea on the side table and pulled the laptop towards her aggressively. “Jesus.”

Ethan tilted his head at her. “Y/N?”

“What do you want?” She looked up at him menacingly.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Will you just tell me what the matter is?”

“There is no matter to tell you.”

“If you don’t tell me I won’t watch the movie with you.”

“I have nothing to say!”

He took her hand. She almost flinched, his warm hand sending a shock throughout her entire body. She looked at him, and his eyes were concentrated on her. “Tell me.”

She lost herself in a few seconds of bliss, but then yanked her hand away. “Get out of my face.”

He huffed. “Okay, fine. You don’t have to tell me what it is, just tell me if I’m the reason you’re all grumpy.”

Are you kidding?

She groaned. “Ethan… please just watch the movie.” She shimmied over patting the seat next to her.

He shook his head. “Tell me first.”

She sighed. “Okay. fine.” She took a deep breath. “You are the reason.” 

Ethan leaned back, seeming a bit bewildered. “Okay. don’t know what I was expecting you to say, but kind of didn’t want it to be that.” he waited for her to respond, to give him something, anything, but she just awkwardly stared at the laptop screen.

He sat there for a moment, wondering what exactly to say to her. He looked like he really wanted to ask her what this was all about, but he knew he couldn’t. He said that he wouldn’t.

“Okay then.” He got up. “Did you pick a movie?”

Y/N was so lost in her own thoughts, she had practically forgotten about choosing one. “Oh, yea. Sure. Just lemme check.”

“Alright, just let me text Gray real quick, okay?” She nodded. Ethan sat down at his desk chair, swiveling it around so he faced her. He took out his phone and began typing up whatever it was he was going to send to his brother.

Y/N watched him, warily from the bed. She didn’t know what to do. There were so many things going through her head at once. She wanted to tell him. She wanted him to know why she was there. She wanted him to know why she wanted to watch a movie. She wanted him to know how she felt. She wanted him to feel the same way. 

She wanted him. 

“Hey, E.” 

“Mhm?” 

“Look at me.”

He looked up at her skeptically, raising an eyebrow. “What is it?”

She looked at his eyes for a moment, the brown and hazelnut seeming to warm her from the inside. She took in every part of him. His eyes, his nose, his pesky hair that never stayed in one place. His beauty marks and almost non-existent acne scars, his sharp jawline and his stubble. His somehow still tinted ears, his dimples, his soft pink lips.

Huh.

“Kiss me.”

He didn’t react at first, not seeming to follow. Then a quick flash of a smile, thinking it was a joke. But as he realized she was serious, his eyes widened, the colour from his ears now flushing to his face.

“What?”

“Kiss me.”

He moved his mouth, but couldn’t seem to form any words. “I don’t-”

“Ethan kiss me before I change my mind.”

He seemed frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. He didn’t seem to understand the words she had just said. He stared at her, running his eyes over her, landing finally on her lips. He’d tried so hard to keep his eyes away from them, but now he couldn’t help it. They were all he wanted.

She was all he wanted.

He got up, cupped her face with his hands, and pressed his greedy lips to hers. A moan escaped Y/N’s lips, and Ethan smiled against them when he heard that heavenly sound. Her face flushed, feeling the smile on Ethan’s lips, and she pulled away.

“I hate you.”

“I’m sorry. You’re fucking adorable.”

“God, I HATE you!” She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him again. He leaned forward, pushing her all the way down so she laid down on the bed, and he held himself over her, propping himself up with his arms on either side of her. He deepened the kiss, not able to get enough of the taste of her lips. He pulled back, smiling at her. 

“I thought you were mad at me.”

She glanced away from him. “Well, I was.”

He laughed. “For what?”

“For not taking a hint!” She couldn’t help but giggle.

“It’s not my fault that you’re 90% sarcasm.”

“It’s not my fault that you have such a thick skull.”

“You are so ruining this.”

“Shut up!”

He leaned down once more, kissing her again. She sighed, letting her arms make their way up his arms and back around his neck. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, then her jaw, then her neck.

She blushed, hard. “Ethan!!” she pushed him up so they were both sitting upright, sitting as close to each other as possible. 

“Cmon, this is the least I can do for catching on so late.”

She smiled at him, then laid her head against his shoulder. “How about we just watch a movie instead?”

He grinned like a fool. “Sounds amazing.”

[gimme-a-hand-scaevola]

A review of the book The Rook by Daniel O’Malley that nobody ever asked for...

Ok so @chemcat92 recommended me this book and I listened to it on audiobook and I just... have a lot of thoughts. I haven’t read the sequel and I’m torn if I will. Having watched some AMVs of the show, it’s a hard pass. My review is going to be in three parts:

1. The plot

2. Wasted Potential - In General

3. Wasted Potential - Gestalt the Most Wasted Character Potential I’ve Read since Drizzt Do’Urden 

Obviously spoilers under the cut. 

Part 1: The Plot - i.e. I think Daniel discovered books four days before he started writing 

Ok so... The plot of this book. It starts off STRONG I will give it that. Myfanwy Thomas wakes up in a rainy part surrounded by bodies wearing latex gloves and no memories. She soon discovers her previous self lost her memories but because she was organized and knew it was coming, she has eased new Myfanwy’s transition. She gets to choose to stay in her life through letters and then we get an easy way to give flashbacks. Anyway this part RULES. 

Honestly, the book starts strong as hell. Myfanwy discovers she has supernatural powers over people’s nervous systems and is a trained bureaucrat for a supernatural wing of the government. This all runs sort of like a combination of Heroes and Harry Potter in the best way possible. And here is where we find the strongest part of the book: the superpowers. 

We don’t have to look that far to find Heroes type shows or books where everyone has a special ability, so if you’re going to go that route, you’ve gotta bring it. And honestly, Daniel brings it. They powers are cool as hell, they’re inventive, they’re well bounded. I felt like I understood what people’s powers and limitations were. We were in a land with magic, but it never felt cheap. This is going to dovetail into my absolute RANT about Gestalt but give me a sec to get there. 

Ok. So honestly I don’t even have any complaints until the third act. Act one gives us the set up, act two introduced the big bad the Grafters and so far so good. We’ve got good but elitist supernatural guys vs. bad but more egalitarian supernatural guys. We also know that it was someone in the supernatural org (it has a name but the name is so stupid I can’t spell it) that betrayed our protag and stole her memories and they’re still around and teamed up with the evil Grafters. Intrigue?? Don’t know who to trust???? Love it. 

For some reason everyone is either old, or hot, or so inhuman it’s viscerally horrifying. Love this touch. Eleanor from the Good Place taught us that it’s totally free to imagine everyone in a story as super hot. And it is. So they’re all super hot. Love it. Good commitment, Daniel. 

But then we get to Act three. So, this was a big swing on ol Danny’s part because a lot of the effect of this had to do with carrying out mystery. We’d built a lot of tension on the suspense  Who Betrayed Myfanwy. So obviously it’s really important for me to be surprised or at least satisfied with who this is. (As an aside, I would have been ok with guessing correctly, I definitely don’t subscribe to surprise trumping cohesive plot). Ok. With that on paper... like... holy shit. What a stupid “reveal.” 

So in part 1, like the first scene we get of old Myfanwy’s letters giving us context, she says that her apartment at work was inherited from a dude Conrad something that got promoted. And then she says it’s super badly decorated, and later we see it and this shit is straight out of Austin Powers, mirror over a round bed, The Whole Shebang. But she also says that this guy who otherwise is supposed to be very smooth and charismatic like... asks her about the decor.... every time they interact. Every Time They Interact. The second this was mentioned (WHICH IS AFTER WE KNOW SHE WAS BETRAYED) I'm like “oh ok so this guy bugged her room he’s the villain” and I only wasn’t sure because it was WAY too obvious. 

But no. He’s the villain. He has a big reveal where he’s like “AND I BUGGED YOUR ROOM” and I'm like... well... yeah. Of course you did. But here’s the thing tho... Myfanwy’s like... WHOLE ASS JOB is planning covert ops. So... is she good at her job??? IS SHE???? 

But we also don’t actually show how characters are based on their actions, we are just told how they are. But we will circle back to that in the Gestalt part. That’s honestly the sum of my rant about the plot. It was nothing. It put all its eggs in the basket of the worst most boring reveal of all time. Daniel, I think you might just be boring. 

Part 2: Wasted Potential - Everything but Gestalt who gets a special part to themselves.

The big sin of this book might just be too many good ideas. There’s a lot of characters, they all do cool stuff, but we have like 200 pages, so there wasn’t enough time to do anything with all these guys. I got lost about who was who like 80 times because they’re basically all sneaky hot magic guys. One of them smokes and is a soldier and he seems chill. 

There’s a vampire and he gets a scene and a long intro that reads more like a wiki page. Like it was interesting but you would have lost NOTHING cutting him as a character except that he was cool. You never ever believe that he was the bad guy because it’s super well established in the Certified Back Story that he could give two shits about the politics of the humans. He’s there bc he’s an adorably young vampire who is very curious so his dad set him up as a powerful government agent as though it was enrolling him in a prep school. Love it, but again, we don’t.... need him around. 

There’s a lady who can walk through dreams and I thought she was going to be important based on the fanfare of her introduction but then we forget about her basically entirely. 

There’s a whole American wing that we also only see anything interesting about in side story. Basically the world building is really good. Like pretty superb to be honest. But it’s bracketing a story that is nothing so it makes even good characters seems really random. And that bring us to:

Part 3: My Darling, Gestalt. My Type. My Weakness. What a Sad Little Thing You Are (Also misogyny)

Alright... if the rest of this review wasn’t salty enough for you... let the salt begin. Gestalt. So named because of the word meaning larger than the sum of its parts. And so they were destined to be. And so they were most definitely not. So Gestalt’s whole thing is that they are one consciousness with four bodies. They can either control one body at a time and sort of shut the others down or they can control them all at once but that becomes harder if one of them requires more attention than another, like if one is in a fight. 

Two twins (men), one fraternal brother, and a sister. If anyone is thinking “uhoh, only one girl, hmm can Daniel handle that? Seems like maybe some Smurfette style misogyny-lite is coming,” you would be wrong. Super wrong. Because it is not misogyny-lite. It’s aggressive Fight-Me-In-A-Perkins-Parking-Lot misogyny. So go fuck yourself, Dan. 

Alright, so to number Gestalt’s sins. 

1. Scrape off some of that intro mustard.

They’re introduced in the LONGEST fucking passage I’ve ever read telling me that this dude is hard to talk to and weird. Like, I’m in an urban fantasy book already, I'm all set. Also... bitch SHOW ME they’re weird. Like can I see some interactions that give me second hand embarrassment??? No. It is actually never uncomfortable to talk to Gestalt. I only know that because people are super fucking rude about them. But it is never earned. So I don’t feel sympathy when people are like “Oh noooo you have to spend a car ride with Gestalt? Ewwwww sorry.” I’m just like, “What’s your fucking problem? They seem fine.” 

2. They’re supposed to be Bad At Planning but when?? 

Alright so there ARE times they’re bad at planning and we will GET TO THAT. But it’s only post-reveal like... what we are told during a monologue that they were dumb as shit. And that wasn’t even like not being good w/ details like it’s implied they are, it’s literally like doing dumb ass stuff. And it felt more like my bud Dan didn’t have a good handle on why stuff was dumb as rain than Gestalt being silly. 

Also.... this is a stupid use of this sort of character. They’re dumb and bad at planning??? THEY’RE A JOINT CONSCIOUSNESS why would you waste that making them “Good at kicking ass.” ugh. Fine. 

3. They get sidelined IMMEDIATELY 

So a guy named Pumice Stone or Kettle or Lil boy Bad At This or something outs that Gestalt is working with the Grafters because he like.... wasn’t paying attention. It was boring. But anyway so they capture two of the bodies and then stop addressing Gestalt until the end. They have one weird scene where the protagonist like.... freaks them out but ok. Fine. Why is Gestalt so Yelly. Why are so many villains in this book yelly. Ew. 

4. The REVEAL MONOLOGUE. 

I know this is a long ass review already. But my Feelings Must be Heard. So in the end when Conrad surprises no one but “smart” Myfanwy that he was the bad guy, we also get a reveal from the surviving Gestalt bodies that:

a. There’s an incest baby

b. They’re afraid of death

c. They’re so phenomenally stupid I have lost all interest in them

So... this is where the misogyny comes in. I’ll note here that the only time we interact w/ Eliza, the special girl body, is when she takes a carried to Hogwarts the super secret magic school with Myfanwy and she doesn’t do anything except we get the internal note that she’s like... gained weight. This is the misogyny-lite we expect. (And no, Dan, you don't get any points bc a female character is the only pleased she got pudgy bc YOU wrote the female character so we’re all set there.)

And then we discover that the weird blonde (lol oh yeah they’re all hot blondes) baby that Conrad “Evil Austin Powers” British-Last-Name has with his weird wife is actually a Gestalt body that Eliza had after she boned down with her other body who is genetically a brother and consciously herself. 

K. Ok. I have. Ok. Alright. Daniel. Ok. 

SUBPART A: My Feelings about Gestalt: Oh Eliza, my darling, my dear, would that I could bring you Justice

So after Eliza is shot dead one of the interchangeable boy bodies of Gestalt yells at Myfanwy about how terrible that is bc it was the only body who could bear children so now THE HORROR they’ll die. 

For god’s fucking sake Daniel O’Malley. What the fuck is your goddamn problem. You LITERALLY wrote a Smurfette Syndrome character who is only important because she can have babies. She is literally just there to be a baby-box. What the fuck. Get fucking wrecked. Thank GOD Starz cut your program and fuck the Aurealis Awards for giving you an award for this fucking book. But they’re a sci-fi award so this is probably super progressive for them. I was pleasantly annoyed by the basic nature of this book until this part. Now I am just done with your content. This was more overtly sexist that Supernatural. So... real swing and a miss. 

ANYWAY FORTUNATELY this opens a whole new can of worms that I get to ruthlessly mock certified Basic Bitch Daniel O’Malley for. 

SubPart 2: Gestalt Raises Interesting Philosophical Questions Daniel Isn’t Smart Enough to Address

So, remember, I would have cut this dude more slack if he didn’t do that to Eliza. Gestalt, to be honest, this whole review is dedicated to what you Could Have Been. 

Interesting Questions or Comments We Could Have Asked:

Does having a baby being one of five of your bodies affect your consciousness? That thing doesn’t have object permanence? Is there like an intellectual cost to having another baby body? No, we don’t care. I think we just had there be a baby bc “Weird sister-sex” was as interesting as Daniel could get. Side Note: The obvious question of “lol haha lol is it incest or mAsTurBation is not going to be addressed here bc it is literally too boring to consider)

Does having a body who textually is said to have post-partum depression affect your joint consciousness? If not, why bring it up?? Bc she has “weird lady disease” is that why???

Are they....afraid of death????? Why didn’t you ever bring this up? Why have they showed only excitement at the prospect of very dangerous fights up to this point? Why are all four bodies in the field. 

WHY ARE ALL FOUR BODIES IN THE FIELD. Ok so here is one of those points that is definitely stupid but stupid in a dumb as dirt way. If you were afraid to lose your baby-box body, why would you send her into battle? 

Why didn’t they freeze a bunch of her eggs? In fact, why did she bear it at all? Why put your one female body that you only want for babies through that sort of danger? Canonically they all get paid an absurd amount and Gestalt is paid for each body, they can afford a surrogate.  

Why let a weird dude who is at best contemptuous of you raise your baby body? Why wouldn’t you want to do that? Doesn’t that give him a huge amount of leverage over you? 

Is the quality fo Gestalt’s form destined to decline if genetically they can only make more bodies by full genetic sibling offspring? Does that scare them? Again... does their physical brain affect their consciousness? 

If so... maybe that would be a good reason for them to want to join up with the Grafters who are way ahead in genetic research and engineering. 

ANYWAY Gestalt is sexist as shit and boring as hell and had SO MUCH WEIRD POTENTIAL. 

In summary: It was definitely fun but Fuck you, Daniel O’Malley 

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 511

Ok so this episode is like the perfect embodiment of my love/hate relationship with the books. And the show, but since the author wrote it, the books too, and her writing/plotting in general. I hated the other episode she wrote so my expectations going into this were *rull* low.

This episode was like a series of character-driven vignettes, which is what I like most about her writing (and why I bother even sticking around): random scenes here and there that I really enjoy as standalone bits. But, in true Outlander fashion, it also like ticked a lot of the boxes for stuff plot-wise that I can’t stand. Namely, yet more violence against multiple women, Marsali and Fergus getting shortchanged, Lord John crossing just over the creepy line for a sec with Jamie and the situation with Ulysses’ legal status. It didn’t check the rape box, but we may have to revisit that next week. I sure as fuck hope we don’t have to, but seeing as this show never met a rape it didn’t think was ToTaLlY nEcEsSaRy to include... *preemptive sigh*

Show-wise this very much felt like a penultimate episode and in that respect it accomplished what it was supposed to. In the overall arc of the season though, much like when considering the whole book series, a few solid standalone scenes here and there do not equal a good whole. To be in this fandom is to be an expert in eating around the moldy parts of the bread to get a few nibbles of good stuff.

Anywho, SCIENCE!JIZZ 5EVA!

Fuck yeah PB&J, and Claire is forgiven for not mastering fluff yet. But fluffernutters are also a staple in any growing kid’s diet.

Poor burned girl. It’s not her fault she vaguely resembles a walker so I spent the whole time thinking about TWD.

Omfg I got like PTSD flashbacks when I saw that dress in the title card. KILL THAT DRESS WITH FIRE!

There may not be fluffernutters, but Bree and Claire fluff and Young Ian and Jemmy fluff are good substitutes.

This kid is adorbs tho.

They’ve been really blasé about mentioning time travel in front of folks this season. First Marsali and now Young Ian. The latter will be remedied, but I’m still lowkey annoyed that Fergus and Marsali aren’t brought into the circle of trust... Esp. when there was a perfect opportunity for it later on.

I cannot with men, tbh. Seeking justice for a daughter who’s been “dishonored” by killing the dude is like the most overused trope of toxic masculinity ever. And now we’re supposed to be all like oh look how relatable the Brown guy is! Because our tropey men wanted to kill a dude like that last week! Hard pass. Also, fucking his kid wasn’t raped, she loves a guy who happens to be married, but everything was super consensual. Sooo like double gross points for you, dude.

And yes, I know it’s ThE pAsT, but I am not in the past, I am in the present, and the show is airing in the present, so thinking this sort of behavior is gross is totes ok. So the fucked up squad of randos who always jump into my notes about how they like “their men to be men” can just shove it, ok? Ok.

They’re like really not subtle with the foreshadowing this episode are they. But then again, when has subtlety ever been a thing on this show. That’s a nice still you got there, shame if anything were to happen to it...

I’m really digging the decor in this living room.

Oh hey! They finally decided to stop pretending like Young Ian was dumb and didn’t notice literally *gestures* everything about Claire.

I’m still salty they never told Jenny and Ian in S3 tbh.

Shockingly, considering who wrote it, so much of this episode is directly from the books. So I’m sure the Cult of Herself folks will be obsessed. And like yeah, some of the stuff in this episode is some of the bits I really like from the books as individual little scenes. However! I know some in the cult will use this as a reason why the show should StAy TrUe To ThE bOoKs more. And please, for the love of fuck, fight that instinct. Parts of this episode aren’t good “because they’re from the book,” they’re good because they’re emotional moments between characters, which is where both the books and the show are strongest. “Sticking with the book” on everything would make an already not great show even worse. I mean, the show ain’t great, but thank fuck they’ve streamlined the book stuff as much as they have.

Yes, I did notice the Pamela easter egg from the book. No, I’m not one who gets excited about shit like that.

Aaand here we get the problematic af bit about Ulysses and his legal status. In the book, he was offered freedom and turned it down to stay with Jocasta. Which is twelve kinds of fucked up. Here, he *is* a free man and he chooses to stay and cosplay an enslaved person so he can chill with Jocasta? FUCK THAT NOISE. That is some “benevolent slave owner” bullshit. They don’t get overt with the Ulysses and Jocasta are banging stuff from the book, which is also epically fucked up considering the power dynamic and how a fuckton of men enslaved their own fucking kids because they’d raped the mothers and children take the status of the mother. I’m glad they didn’t come right out and say that. But it’s like lowkey implied and even if it’s not supposed to be taken as canon, having a Black man be given the option to get the fuck out of there and choose to stay with someone who enslaves other Black people is like some dangerous white fanfic nonsense.

Also, thinking about the slave/master relationship dynamic today really makes me wish I saw Jeremy O. Harris’ play while it was running...

Oh yay, Bree and Roger are actually leaving. Much like the Bonnet shit, credit where credit’s due, I’m glad they’re not dragging the will they/won’t they go out for another season.

Don’t sound so butthurt that you didn’t get to murder a guy, Jamie.

Poor Young Ian. Buddy needs a hug. And more screentime for his story. Like, do we really need something else traumatic to happen to Claire when we could explore family dynamics instead? This time with Young Ian and his wife and their Mohawk family?

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER WAYS TO HAVE DRAMA AND CONFLICT THAT CAN TAKE UP THE RUNNING TIME OF A SEASON THAT DON’T INVOLVE CONSTANTLY PUTTING THE WOMEN IN PHYSICAL DANGER.

Lol at the thought of LJG “working the land.” Like, buddy, have you seen yourself?

“No doubt there a great many things I shall miss about being here.” Don’t make it weird bro.

Yes, I know he’s like gonna miss their friendship and stuff. But he’s always been just a smidge too intense about it. And by a smidge I mean the gay guy openly in love with his straight best friend a gross trope and I don’t like it.

Ok so if we’re following the “rules” of the show that the production used to recite ad nauseam to justify why Jamie and Claire barely seemed to even like each other for a few seasons (”they’re married, we don’t need to see them fuck!” “we already know they love each other, it’s a given!”), this sex scene shouldn’t exist. Because it’s really not essential to the plot. Which just proves the “rules” are and always were bullshit excuses. And the author/writer of this episode def spouted that bullshit too, so she can also shove it.

Because this scene *should* exist and those “rules” *were* complete crap. Because Jamie and Claire are very sexual/physical people and, especially when they’re going through things, use sex to center themselves where they are and in their relationship. Bree and Roger are leaving. Jem’s leaving. They’re sad about that. But they’re also happy that they made a family and got to be together as a family and are glad to have had that chance. (And, they just like to fuck.) So of course this is a good character moment. This is the kind of shit we should be seeing instead of just a constant barrage of plot and violence. And the crew can fuck all they off with their not at all convincing talking points about “rules.”

Also this is a much better use of sex than them constantly having them fuck after a fight instead of actually working through the issue between them.

Also, fuck yeah, get it gurrrl.

SCIENCE!JIZZ! (I’m gonna need a gif of Claire’s face when Jamie’s figuring it out because that’s gonna be in heavy reaction rotation.

I just love Claire fuck yeah science Beauchamp.

It’s also another scene that does nothing to advance the plot, but is a nice respite from the constant trauma. The show has yet to find a balance between the two, which is annoying af because they’ve had five seasons to figure it out. So like whenever there is fluff, folks pounce on it like starving animals. Which some in the crew (and some fans) like to point out like “see, you all like everything now!” Or “look, why are you whining so much, we gave you this!” Or “wow you hate the show but now you like this part? Hypocrite.”

But like, no, that’s not what it means. Not giving someone water for days and then throwing them a small canteen doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. It’s still super fucked up. So no, enjoying the fact that there are a few fluffy scenes in an episode doesn’t mean the show is good. If they made more of an effort to center the characters and spread the fluff around a bit more instead of waiting until there was like trauma fatigue and throwing in a fluffy life raft, the show as a whole would be stronger.

</rant>

Ok it’s super fucked up they hadn’t told Bree about Willie yet, but I’m glad Jamie is the one who tells her.

“And it wasn’t a matter of love between us, but it was her choice, and that’s all I’ll say about it.” BECAUSE SHE RAPED HIM. COERCION IS NOT CONSENT AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT HOW “HOT” THAT SCENE WAS ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING AND THE PRODUCTION IS DISGUSTING FOR SHOOTING A FUCKING RAPE IN THE MANNER THEY DID. AND ALSO FUCK THEM FOR HAVING IT BE A RAPE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT COULD HAVE SO FUCKING EASILY BEEN CONSENSUAL.

This show is so fucking not good.

This scene with Jamie and Brianna is super nice, but like, we saw nothing of them building their relationship. He didn’t even fucking hug her after Murtagh died. The scene loses so much of what it could have had because they never did the legwork to show us what they mean to each other.

It’s the same old shit they pulled with Claire and Jamie. “Oh they’re together and endgame so we don’t actually need to show you them building and working on their relationship that much. Because you know they’re together so just go with it.” Like no? Fuck you? That’s not how this works?

FERGUS AND MARSALI DESERVE BETTER!

Of course Marsali’s preggo again. Why the fuck should she do anything but spit out babies. Also, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE THE FRASER KIDS TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL.

And Bree’s become a sister to Marsali? We saw one fucking scene of them together. See above rant. Fucking show us them becoming sisters. Sorry to interrupt your constant stream of violence and trauma, but fucking actually SHOWING characters building relationships instead of TELLING us they did the thing is how this is fucking supposed to work.

I’m rull pissed we never got quality Fraser kid bonding, y’all.

And ditto with this scene with Lizzie. We saw more of Bree and Lizzie than Bree and Marsali, but like we never really saw them becoming friendly post Bree’s rape and Rogergate.

All the goodbyes are like making me feel inch deep feelings because they’re rooted in nothing we’ve actually seen. And I’m not a Bad Fan or dumb for not filling in the feelings myself. I’m the viewer. It’s not my job to fill in the show’s gaps. It’s the show’s job not to have emotional gaps.

Oh hey! Another shitty man who hurts his wife and another woman trapped in a physically abusive relationship who thinks the abuse is her fault! On Outlander? Who’da thunk they’d have something like this?!

I’m so tired, y’all. So. Fucking. Tired.

I HOPE YOUNG IAN FINDS HAPPINESS TOO, ROGER.

Ok but for real, every time Lord John talks about how Willie and Bree are like Jamie it has that gross tinge to it. Like I know he’s not meaning it like a creeper, but they leaned so fucking hard into him being so into and not over Jamie that the layer of grossness is always there.

Also like, grannie and grandda, we got like one scene of Claire and Jamie playing with Jem. WE COULD HAVE FELT SO MANY MORE FEELINGS ABOUT THEM BEING SEPARATED IF ONLY THEY HAD TAKEN THE TIME TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIPS ON SCREEN.

Claire making everyone PB&Js is fucking adorable and I love her.

Old timey forks will never not be fucking weird looking.

“And now it’s just you and me again.” Uh, Fergus, Marsali and Young Ian might be a tad offended by that sentiment, Clairebear.

Ok but like do they really think a rope is gonna hold up to fucking magic time travel rocks? It’s gotta just be like a mental security blanket thing, right? Because if not, loooooooooool.

Ok but the really just let their kiddo run off like that in the middle of the magic time travel rock circle? Dumbasses.

Ok but like what’s the betting they ended up in like a RenFest type thing and think they haven’t traveled but they have and it’s like lol look at them fitting in with their old timey clothes vs. skipping them going back to the future and doing the going adventuring around the even past-er past part but with them all together instead of Roger and Buck?

I’m just hoping it’s something completely different than the books because I have zero interest in Bree and Roger in the 20th century and hate the Roger and Buck nonsense with a fiery passion.

Erm, that’s a little close to the house to build a privy, my dudes.

Is the setting a guy’s dislocated shoulder thing supposed to be a cute callback? Because like hey wink wink, first she was kidnapped and then set a shoulder and now she’s setting a shoulder and then getting kidnapped is kind of a fucked up “joke.”

But how about we get more of Nurse!Marsali and less of Marsali just being constantly preggo.

“Sort of like the opposite of what you do when ya joint a hog.” I JUST LOVE NURSE!MARSALI A LOT OK.

Aaand now that we’re all good and docile little fans who have been placated with some fluff and Fraser fucking as a treat, we can go back to the regularly scheduled violence against women. Because we literally just had a violent abduction last week. So clearly it’s time for another.

Everything in this story has been done before...

I swear to fuck, if they do the thing I think they’re gonna do next week, I hope they get rightfully dragged by fucking everyone.

And if by some fucking miracle of Caitriona putting her foot down they don’t do the thing next week, they get zero brownie points. You don’t get rewarded for doing what you should have done the whole time.

And of course the closing is Jamie lighting Flaming Dildo 2.0. His men swore oaths to him, not any government or crown, and protecting his family has always been the top thing for Jamie. So good choice there with saving Claire being the reason he calls up the men.

[tinysupervicki]

It’s hard to stay away, huh? I did turn off my notifications on twitter but I still peeked. Why are y’all so amazing to me? What did I do to deserve this love? This community?

Since y’all have been there for me ever since my mom passed three years ago, I’d do anything for y’all. I felt I did let y’all down because I’m a content creator and haven’t done anything in so long. It sucks because I’m yearning to do so but lack the time due to now being an adult, working a grueling adult job and living with family.

I believe I will be able to get a place of my own later in the year, I’m really hoping for that. As for my full time job, I’m actively looking for another one. The one I’m at, I feel I work so hard but I’m not appreciated enough. It’s a healthcare industry and I work hard to help people with their needs while management focuses on metrics and numbers. I wanna get out of there.

I haven’t had time to myself and just be selfish for once? So I’m glad I was able to take time off to have a pretty long weekend to enjoy Sizecon 2020 and spend time with friends.

Let’s get started on the recap, shall we? Bare with me, I talk a lot (and not well might I add).

Day 1: Thursday 2/13/20

I woke up at 4 am to catch my flight that leaves at 6:45 am. I thankfully had all my bags packed, I just needed to shower and be ready. My dad took me to the airport and wished me off. At this point, I had plenty of time, even seeing the long TSA line at the Houston airport. I had internally groaned a lot but managed through. After having some minutes to spare, I grabbed a quick bite to eat at one of the dining places, a lovely breakfast bowl that I can have (those of you who don’t know me, I have celiac disease and I have to eat gluten free). Jumped on my flight and comfortably slept in my seat on the plane. The plan was to have a connecting flight to Charlotte, NC and then to Newark, NJ.

Two hours later, I woke up to not at my destination but at Colombia, SC. Apparently, while I was asleep, they had to divert us to the next airport because the weather was really bad in NC. We had two options: stay on the plane and wait it out until we’re back in the air to NC, or get off the plane and figure out another alternative. I stayed, I had plenty of time until my connecting flight was scheduled (which I actually got alerts that it ending up delaying a lot) so I stayed in my seat and watched greys anatomy. About almost an hour passed and we’re finally back up in the air, with more space to breathe since there were people that did leave the plane. Landed safely in NC and I ventured off to find snacks and wait at my gate. It kept delaying but I finally was able to get on my flight to NJ, making my total time at the airport and in the air...all day, I can’t do math lol. I safely landed in NJ at 5:30 pm, I had been awake since 4 am. It was a day.

Yo, I’m gonna get him and his wife a gift, I swear to god, but DJ (aka Giantgripper) saved me by picking me up from the airport and letting me stay the night at his place. When he’s the host, he does one heck of a job as a host. Since I hadn’t eaten a proper meal since 5 in the morning or so, DJ took me to a Mediterranean little mom and pop restaurant that I fell in love with. Had a stuffed pepper and practically cleaned everything off my plate. After we ate, I accompanied DJ while he did some errands for extra things he needed for the con (which did include articles of clothing for the giant cafe lol). I was happy to help as much as I could. After that, we made it back to his place. Once his wife Adri (chibiana) came home from work, we watched a documentary while trying (and failing with me because I’m a turd) to make different mixed drinks to taste. I ended up going with hot chocolate, I’m a simpleton when it comes to alcohol. A little bit afterwards, I had to pass out, it was a long ass day.

Day 2: Friday 2/14/20

Valentine’s was just another day for me. Woke up, got dressed, and DJ surprised me with a fresh homemade breakfast. It was magnificent, I scrapped the plate then too. Plans for the day was to get allllllll the stuff we need and travel to the hotel, which apparently was an hour and a half away from DJ’s house I believe. Adri had to go do another thing for work and was gonna meet up later. DJ and I traveled to the hotel first. I passed out again in the car, I was so exhausted from before I guess it had hit me again.

We made it to the hotel and unpacked the car with my stuff, his and Adri’s bags, and things for the con. I got to say quick hellos to people I knew that were already there (gave a big ass hug to Miss Kaneda, she’s so precious and a big hug to IamFilledwithStatic). I was going to be sharing a room with shortmarcy, Morgana (Moe), and Guiri. So since I had arrived first, I will check in first; Morgana and Guiri were still flying from Spain and shortmarcy didn’t come until the next morning. Since it was under shortmarcy’s name and the deposit was paid under her, She had to call to have the hotel let me check in for her. In turn, I had to put my card on file. I thought I was being a responsible adult and I thought it was gonna charge like half of the charge or something but...they charged the full price of the hotel. Which was $503...which was basically everything in my bank account. I didn’t know that was gonna happen, I panicked and just sat on the couch outside of the con area while Robyn (goddess-rei) comforted me. I had to come to terms that shit happens and I had no money for the weekend. But I graciously had the best of friends this weekend, I’ll get to that in a sec.

After my bumming out, I changed to put on my blouse for the valentines banquet (one of my guaranteed dinners that night lol). I met up with Morgana and Guiri and also sillylilbug (she’s so adorably sweet). We had our own table along with my friend Joe (CaptainRandGTS, who is a phenomenal photographer btw). We ate some good food and they took account of my gluten free (however I think the chimichurri steak may have upset my stomach). I said goodnight and went to my room to basically turn the bathroom up XD I had changed into my pajamas to head downstairs to get water and pain medicine when I turned the corner and saw a group of people walking down the hall. Guys, I’m still getting used to this, but the group was like, “Is that Vicki?!” “That is her!” And I was like WHAT. It was my lovely friends sviolet, mansquishers, mister finch, Joseph moestar, and Strongshadow2018. I was so surprised and honored, I was gushing. I got to hang out with them in their hotel room for a bit, played cards against humanity (I WON!) and ate ridiculously delicious gluten free cookies misterfinch made.

Day 3: Saturday 2/15/20

Con day. This day was a bit of a blur honestly (my mind is not the same people) but I know I took this day to “try” and relax. I was still bummed about my money problem but I had enough to buy the breakfast buffet meal ticket. My idea was to chow down a lot of food (since it was a buffet) so I won’t ask for food but that did not happen because I have wonderful friends?? Towards noon, I went to ihop with my crew (we called each other the sizecon crew lol) with sviolet, mansquishers, mister finch, Joseph moestar, and strongshadow2018. We had a nice time and I was so grateful for the lunch! Once we headed back to the hotel, we split up to do more con shenanigans. I met so many people, it was amazing. People I already knew and new people as well. It was awesome to match names to faces, it was so cool. I’m telling you though, my mind is not the same so I can’t list out the whole list of everyone I’ve seen. Then I got to see my good friend Steve (Miles Striker). I’m so fucking proud of this dude. He showed me a film he wrote, recorded, and edited all by himself, it was mindblowing. We had to go back downstairs after that because I forgot I had a social to lead and he had panels to go to. I stopped by the giant cafe, that was fucking wild. I ran the Fluffy Feels Social and I did my best because I’ve never ran something like that. But I’m glad we all liked the same thing and we just kept talking! It was getting late to when the Playroom was gonna start, so I headed back upstairs. Chilled a bit more with my crew and then headed back downstairs. I don’t know what got over me, but I gathered enough courage and joined the nude swimming party. I cannot believe I did that, that was a big step for me. Kinda sucked getting out though because I didn’t have extra clothes and it was fucking cold.

Day 4: Sunday 2/16/20

Technically last day of the con but it was the busiest. I spent all morning practicing my skit for the Tiny Cafe. I was nervous and pacing around in my hotel room, making sure I get it right. Around 12:30, I headed down to meet up with the rest of the cafe to get ready when we start at 1 pm. I could not describe how nervous I was. I wanted to make sure I didn’t mess up and I know I was lip syncing (graciously provided by Anoka’s vocals) I was still nervous as fuck. This was a performance and I’m now more confident talking to others about my kink/aesthetics but performing? Oh lawd. We had a big crowd apparently, I was surprised. We had to get more chairs and apparently turn people away? THAT MADE MY NERVES SKYROCKET. The cafe starts with a wonderful performance by Adri (Chibiana) then followed by cute transitions from our servers mini-moo and shortmarcy. Then it’s time for our skit: Veronica (Jitensha), me, and Aim were shrunk and sung songs about our giants. I was first (omg) and mine was in the style of “Maria” from west side story (Veronica called it Shrunken side story). I was shaking like a leaf and tried my best to get through the whole song while doing silly quirks of mine. Once that was done, I rushed back from my spot XD it was Veronica’s turn to sing about a giant dick lol and Aim serenading a giant lady. After our skit, it was the grand finale of Morgana performing a dance in a giant hamster ball. It was incredible. Despite my anxiety, I’m glad I did this and we did so amazing (we made tips!!!!).

Right after that was done, I had to rush to lead a social of Giant men and Tiny women. It was a small turnout but we still got people and we talked a lot. When that was done, I rushed to be on my first panel of the day: Owning what you love. After that was the Macrophile panel and then after that was the Diversity panel. I was on all of them and they were back to back, I was a busy lady lol. After that panel, I was free! Since I made tips from the cafe and I was broke from the hotel, I got to buy a few things in the vendor hall. Was able to say hi to some people I knew like scridam, the reducer, miss kaneda, iamfilledwithstatic, robclassact, and aborigen. It was also mister finch’s birthday so since I was free for the night, I went with the crew to go celebrate at a restaurant. That was such a nice time, I swear everything I did this weekend I wanted to experience again. When we came back to the hotel after dinner (after a quick stop to the liquor store lol), I was able to make it in time for the closing ceremony. Hearing everyone’s words touched my heart and reminded me why I love this community. So I was able to give a speech to say that; this is my second home when I lost my only home when my mom passed. God, that room was filled with so much love. I went back upstairs and hung out more with the crew and watched Promare (pretty sick movie). I was gonna head to bed but I hung out more with Steve and we watched a movie before passing out.

Day 5: Monday 2/17/20

It was time to say all of my goodbyes to everyone that had to leave. I gave so many hugs and love, I just miss them all. Most of the crew had to head out, except for sviolet, she had her flight in the afternoon. So we went out to breakfast at a Mexican restaurant, reminiscing this whole weekend. We came back to the hotel to chill in my hotel room. Morgana and Guiri were leaving to the airport back to Spain and shortmarcy wanted to venture to NYC before she went home the next day. So sviolet and I chilled in my room before she had to head out.

Then for the rest of the evening, I had the room to myself. I watched law and order svu whole packing and double checked I had everything. I waited up for shortmarcy to come back (I was so worried) but she made it back after 10 pm safe and sound. At that point, I had to go to bed because my flight in the morning was at 5:45 am.

Day 6: Tuesday 2/18/20

I woke up at 3 am to get to the airport on time and my Lyft driver I got...I had a feeling he was having a bit of fun by himself before he picked me up. Because it stunk in the car of cum. Whatever, I held in my breath and made it to the airport safely. My flights were on time and I slept on each one. I did not want to go back home.

Back to reality and I hate the after con blues! Especially with how much this con and community means to me.

Hoping there’s a next year and I’m ready to help as usual.

Y’all have a goodnight ❤️

[imashayne]

Of Clouds in the Night Sky

Just a short quick Klance thing I wrote up the other night when I should have been working on bang fics XD This idea hit me and wouldn’t leave me alone, I had to get it out. It’s rough and I plan on doing more with it later, but for now I’m really happy with how it turned out lol

“That’s a wrap!” Coran clapped his hands, voice reaching the entire stage crew, including Lance where he stood up on the bridge. Beneath him the dancers broke their poses, chests heaving and sweat glistening beneath the lights as rehearsal ended. From his vantage he could see the handful of journalists from the school newspaper gather up their things as well.

To his left one of the other spotlights went out, and Lance followed suit. He breathed a small sigh of relief as the air around him cooled without the heat of the 500 watt bulbs. As he made his way over to the lift, gantry shifting with each step, Hunk and Pidge joined him.

“-I can’t believe the university doesn’t replace any of this old ass equipment-” Pidge huffed, folding her arms as they descended. Lance rolled his eyes, this conversation again. He liked working with the old spotlights, after all it was the closest he’d ever get to them he figured.

“We should bring it up to this century ourselves.” Hunk stated in a matter of fact manner, glancing down at Lance as he fanned himself, burnt orange shirt dark with sweat, “how do you not die of heat stroke next to those lamps in that sweater?”

Ignoring how his own clothes stuck to him Lance grabbed the collar of his signature green jacket and tugged it. “Are you kidding? I’m so cool it radiates from me.” Pidge snorted as the lift jarred to a halt.

When they reached the bottom he waved the two of them off, “I’ll catch up with you guys later!”

He began to cleanup, putting props away and hanging up the haphazard pile of discarded costumes. Taking his sweet time.

“Thank you my boy, always such a help. Once you’ve finished, lock up.” After Coran handed him the keys he left. Lance scanned the deserted backstage area, dashed to the left wing of the stage and glanced out into the seats.

Finally alone.

In the quiet Lance could almost pretend, as he stepped out onto the stage from behind the heavy red curtain, that it was the hush before a ballet began. On poised limbs Lance settled in the middle of the darkened stage. He slipped his jacket off in one motion that shifted like fluid into the next and the next.

Lance began to hum as he danced, arms arching and swooping, legs spinning him before he leapt into the air.

It was the almost imperceptible sound of a camera clicking, shutter closing to capture a moment, and the flash, lighting up the empty audience seats, that broke Lance’s concentration. What should have been a perfect landing ended with him falling, knees skidding across the glossed wooden floor.

But he ignored the pain, head snapping around to find who was there, pounding of his heart the only sound he could hear.

Lance didn’t have to look hard, from the wings a kid with pitch hair that looked as if it was in need of a trim rushed towards him, a look of concern on his features. It wasn’t until he was closer that Lance recognized him. Kevin or Keegan or something like that. They’d had a few of their general classes together. A pretty boy who’d never given Lance the time of day.

He held out his hand, “are you al-”

“What are you doing here?” Lance snapped, face flushed as he knocked the offered hand away and stood on his own. He couldn’t meet the other’s gaze, hyper aware of how bare his arms were. Blue eyes flashed back and forth, trying to find where he’d dropped his sweater. There! Center stage.

“Not that I owe you an explanation but I’m taking pictures for the article.” He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Lance tried not to lung for his jacket as he snatched it up, breathing a bit easier as he jammed his arms into the sleeves.

“Why did you take a picture of me?”

Smart guy didn’t have an answer for that one, by the way his mouth slammed shut.

“Well I don’t really care why, but you better delete it.”

The other scoffed. “Fuck no, you’re not my boss.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t ask to take my picture!”

Lance grabbed for the camera, but the other dodged away. Though he looked torn. Lance tried not to think about how cute he was as he bit his lip.

“Tell you what Lance-” That stopped him up short, this guy…. This super cute popular guy remembered him? “This picture will go away if you stop by my place.”

“Wha-no? Why?”

It was the other guy’s turn to blush, but he didn’t answer Lance’s question. “You know the Gama Zeta house?” Lance could only nod. “Meet me there, Saturday, 10 am.” He turned and started out of the theater, and was halfway down the middle aisle when Lance fell out of shock.

“Hey wait what about the picture?”

“I’ll delete it when you show up!”

***

Lance’s alarm went off, but his eyes were already wide open. All night, no, all week he’d been wondering why in the hell that guy asked him over. After what he’d seen that afternoon…

His thoughts ran wild as he brushed his teeth. What even possessed the guy to ask? The nerve. His own jittered in anticipation as he blended the foundation across his cheeks. He donned his jacket to cover his arms and headed out the door.

Anxiety was like electricity through his veins as he walked the campus.

By the time he reached the fraternity he felt lightheaded. It didn’t help that as he knocked on the door he held his breath. A tall guy answered and Lance’s eyes widened as he looked up at the handsome man.

“I’m uh… I’m here for…” Lance realized he never got a name.

“Oh yeah Keith said you’d be coming by for him. His room is up the stairs, second door on the right.

Lance followed the directions, but his fist hovered, hesitating to knock. The door opened regardless.

“Hey Shiro have you- Oh hey Lance you’re early.”

Lance could feel the warmth in his cheeks, “yeah uh…”

“Come in,” Keith stepped aside and as Lance entered he tried not to be too impressed with the mullet’s setup.

“What do you want.”

“Wow okay, no pleasantries.” Keith crossed his arms, “I want you to model for me.”

Lance was speechless, something rarely seen. Not that Keith would know.

“Can I take that silence as a yes?” Keith asked, mouth turned up at the corner. Lance sputtered, turning his gaze away from that adorable expression.

“Why in the hell would I say yes to that? I told you I wanted the one picture you took of me deleted.”

Keith pulled in a deep slow breath, running his fingers back through his hair and hell if Lance didn’t want to do the same thing.

“I’ve wanted to ask you since that class with Iverson-”

“Wait, you’ve wanted a picture of me for that long?” Lance wasn’t quite following.

“Yes-No! I mean…. I’ve wanted to ask you out. It wasn’t till I saw how fucking, Lance just breathtaking you were when you were dancing that I wanted to take your photo.”

For the second time that day, Lance was speechless. He wanted to call Keith a liar. To look around for the others who might be in on this prank.

The hopeful look that shone upon Keith’s features darkened with each second that passed.

But Lance had no idea how to reply, he searched for words, but the only ones that came to mind were “lets get this over with.” Before; “wait wait! I mean…. I don’t understand, like, at all. How you could be into me, and even less so about the, wanting a picture of me front but…. But sure to the date… and the photos…. So like, lets get this over with.” These sentiments rushed out of him before he could organize them.

“Slow down.” Keith chuckled, placing his hands on Lance’s shoulders. Keith began to slip the jacket down the other’s tensed shoulders. Though a part of him wished too, Lance didn’t stop him. It wasn’t until Keith’s hands slipped beneath Lance’s shirt that he did anything at all.

“Uh, what are you doing?” They were so close that Lance could feel the other’s breath hot against his lips.

“Getting you ready for the shoot.”

“Here I thought I was already-” His heart stuttered as the shirt lifted over his head, leaving him the barest he’d ever been around another, “ready.”

“Not for what I have planned.” Keith stated, tracing a part of lighter flesh upon Lance’s torso, hopping to the next pigmented discoloration, and the next, as if connecting stars to make a constellation. Until he reached Lance’s neck, pausing at his pulse, feeling how swift his heart beat.

“Make up?” Keith murmured.

Lance swallowed and nodded.

“It’s uh… it’s called vitiligo…” Lance answered, though Keith hadn’t asked. “It’s a skin condition….”

Keith nodded, taking a step back, leaving Lance feeling even more vulnerable than before.

“Go wash your face and take the rest of your clothes off.” He gestured towards his bathroom.

“No way!” Lance squeaked, covering his chest.

One eyebrow raised and a crooked smile graced Keith’s face. “Would you like my help again?”

The door slamming was his only answer as Lance stormed to the room Keith had pointed out.

When the door opened next Keith barely glanced up as he fiddled with his camera. Lance cleared his throat, unsure of what to do now.

“You can go and sit on my bed, I’ll pose you in a sec…”

Lance glanced between Keith and the neatly made bed.

“You sure do think you’re a smooth fucker huh?” Lance’s voice was tight, and he tried to will himself to calm.

“Yeah but only when I’m really into someone.” He shot a smirk up at Lance, eyebrow raising, “you’re gonna have to take the towel off.”

“I bet you say that to all t-the p-pretty…” his voice stuttered to a halt as Keith took all of him in.

“You’re beautiful.” He stood and pulled Lance’s hand out of the death grip it held on the towel. As the terry cloth fell Lance imagined how Keith’s lips would feel beneath his own. What would happen if, instead of sitting on the bed, Keith moving his limbs into a suggestive air, he grabbed the other boy and tumbled them both onto the blankets.

But then he tried not to think of that, because god forbid he have a damn boner while Keith was taking pictures of him.

“Take a deep breath Lance, hold that position for as long as you can.” He was on his knees, one hand between his legs, hiding his stiffening member, and one splayed back. He had no idea what sort of expression he was making, nor what he should be. But Keith didn’t say anything else as he stepped back, camera clicking away, each time from a different angle.

“Now hang your leg off the bed, but keep the other up and bent beneath you…” Keith walked around the bed, “straighten up, arch your back a bit…” click, “move your left hand to your hip…”click, “now to your shoulder.” Click.

Keith was behind Lance. “look back at me…perfect.” The last word was but a breath. Silence reigned and Lance grew sore with stiffness.

“Oh you can totally move now.”

He almost fell off the bed as he turned to find Keith sitting at his desk, camera already hooked up to his computer.

“Can I see?”

“Not yet, you can leave if you want but-“ Keith’s smile was bright as he looked at Lance again, before his eyes flicked back towards his screen, “I’d enjoy the company.”

Lance blinked before the flush that had never dissipated flared up. He nodded, though Keith wasn’t looking. “Yeah I’ll stay.” He got dressed, touching his face as he exited the bathroom. Of course he’d forgotten his makeup at home. The thought of leaving without any hiding his complexion had the anxiety that flirting had buried resurface. He needed a distraction. But talking with Keith seemed out of the question, he was so focused. Instead Lance began to wander the room. Everything was so tidy, each item had a place, from the boring physics books to the wicked looking knife. It all was a puzzle, like the boy himself.

Being as impatient as he was Lance quickly exhausted every diversion. With a sigh he fell onto the bed, satisfied that the covers mussed. He groaned, rolling onto his stomach, feet kicking up behind him.

Keith’s head fell back. “OMG Lance.”

“I’m bored! Are you done?”

“Ya know I said you could leave.”

“And you said you wanted company!” Lance was standing and didn’t remember doing so.

“Yeah before I knew you’d just be complaining the whole time.”

“I haven’t said a word! But okay whatever, I just wanted to see… I’m going.” Lance stomped over to the door, but a hand closed over his wrist and Keith spun him, leading him to the desk as he sat down he pulled Lance into his lap. Hushing his protests with a kiss. Lightning crackled down through his system but before he could deepen the exchange Keith was already pulling away.

“The edits aren’t done, but…” Keith turned the chair so that they could both look at the screen. What he saw stole Lance’s breath away.

Keith had changed the lighting of the photo to look like evening. But it wasn’t like nighttime around Lance, he’d made Lance the night. He had somehow made the lighter areas of pigmentation on Lance’s skin appear as clouds drifting through the sky. There was one across his right eye, and upon his hip. The one encompassing his shoulder looked as if it were being shaped by his own hand. The freckles that peppered his cheeks and back were brightened to look like stars and the blue of his eyes looked like deep pools.

“Woah.” He murmured, “Keith…. This is amazing.”

“You’re amazing Lance.”

“No way I don’t look like this!”

Keith’s arms tightened around him, “That’s how I see you.”

[emrystheblue]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Plotholes

So, obviously there will be spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in this post/rant. If you have no wish to be spoiled, stop reading now and scroll away.

First off I would like to preface by saying that I've seen the play twice now so I have a pretty good idea of what happens in it. Once in London (2017) and again in Melbourne a couple weeks ago (2019), and though I own the script I haven't read yet. However I have read this lovely version of it. They took the script and wrote it as a novel without removing any of the original script and incorporating somethings in to connect the scenes ad plausibly as possible. Go read it, it's great. https://archiveofourown.org/works/7666957

Anyway, I like the play. It's fun to watch and the music and sound effects and such are amazing. Scorpius is the best and I adore him. That isn't to say I don't have major problems with the story itself. We all know there are many many many plot holes and that Rowling didn't write it herself, but she does consider it canon to the series which is annoying because it breaks rules set in the previous Harry Potter books. I have a few points I have the most issues with.

I dedicate this rant to @onehealer to whom I ranted with about this for an hour through DM's.

So firstly: Fidelius charm who?

In the final act, Scorpius and Albus can see the potters house even though it's under the fidelius charm. They've never been there before, Harry tried multple times to take Ablus it seems but was turned down, and only read about it in books at most.... does that count as them knowing the Secret? No, it doesn't otherwise people who knew the address of the home before the charm was cast they would know. It can be excused that Delphi technically was never shown to have known where the house was, only knowing they were in Godrics Hollow... which also goes with the fact that knowing the address in the future meant nothing. Imagine Voldemort pulling out a phone book to find their address and suddenly being able to see their home. It also seemed like she didn't want to go after the Potters herself, she was only there to get to Voldemort first. So that's fine.

The issue is that somehow the two boys were able to see through the charm. And going with this vein, how did Ron, Hermione and Draco see as well? Literally only Harry should be able to see the Potter home because he was part of what the charm was protecting and thus knew the Secret, even if he was only a baby at the time.

Time travel should not negate the charm, why would that work? The charm is still active in the time they currently exist in, and this is an ancient, powerful and complex spell too.

"Maybe they knew because Harry told Albus about it." Sure, that could have worked, but it doesn't. When the Secret Keeper dies, anyone who was told the Secret becomes a Secret Keeper (Because you can originally choose more than one), so when Peter Pettigrew died, at the very least Harry would have the Secret. Probably Dumbledore and Sirius too, at least. But the problem with that is that the Fidelius charm was broken the night Lily and James Potter died, thus there was no longer a Secret. How else would the location become common knowledge in the Wizarding World? There's a monument to the Potters for crying out loud. People visited to pay their respects to them. So, Albus was never told the Secret because there wasn't one any longer.

There's literally no way anyone but Harry should have been able to see the Potter home. Even giving it some rope, they shouldn't have been able to see the house until Harry points it out to them, aka tells them where it is, because it could be argued that he could technically give out the Secret, having been part of it originally, but even then he wasn't a Secret Keeper and from how I understand it, just because you knew the secret didn't give you the ability to tell anyone unless you're a Secret Keeper.

The worst part about this plot hole is that not only is it massive, the plot of the story relies on it's existence to progress. Sometimes plot holes can be forgiven, but when the story relies on their existence? Especially such an enormous one? No, just no.

(As a little aside, I just want to bring attention to the fact Scorpius and Albus somehow made their way from Hogwarts, in the Scottish Highlands, to Godrics Hollow in less than a day. That's a long way, not to mention they had no wands, no food, no money, no sleep, no warm clothes and probably not wanting to risk talking to any wizards for fear if changing the timeline or accidently finding a Death Eater. There's also the fact Scorpius had just been Crucio'd at least 3 times in the last hour. Kudos to Scorpius for managing to get there with Albus, hot damn.)

Second, Wtf Albus?

Seriously, wtf. Don't get me wrong, I do like Albus but he's definitely a spoiled/ungrateful little brat at times, with as Scorpius puts it, a chip on his shoulder.

The thing I, well I wont say hate because i do like his character but it's close enough, most about him is his decision to go back and save Cedric in the first place. Like its a nice thought, but dude, why?

Why does Cedric deserve to live more than literally anyone else Voldenort killed? What makes him more deserving of you risking everything to go back and save?

Why does a 17yr old who signed up for a tournament that is known to have resulted in the deaths of its competitors many times in it's history, deserve to live more than all those 11-17 year olds killed at Hogwarts trying to flee or fight? All the adults who fought and died in the battle? All those people killed during either war? A lot of people who died because of Voldemort didn't sign up to put themselves in danger.

If it's about some semblance of a connection, of which there really isn't any in this case, what about Fred? Your uncle? Someone your uncle George probably still dies inside over? I mean he even gave up their joke shop to Ron, possibly to avoid memories of the twin brother who died?

Why does some kid you have no connection to other than his dad blaming yours for killing him when he literally had no way of knowing what the fuck was going on until he was already dead?? Why does he deserve to live more? I don't get it.

And then he blames Harry for Cedric's death like he had any chance to prevent it? Dude, seriously, he was the SAME AGE as you are now when this happened, I'd fucking like to see you do better??

Another thing I dislike is that Albus is never really able to experience the consequences of his actions and what could have happened. Because, you know, he stopped existing and Scorpius had to deal with it on his own.

There's also the way he treats Harry but I'll get to that in a sec.

Harry was doing his best, honestly he was. He sometimes seems a little out of character, but even still. I understand why he could be seen that way. We know he's under a lot of stress from his work at the Ministry, especially since it's to do with creatures that sided with Voldemort that are going missing or whatever. Then there's the nightmares involving Voldy and his scar hurting again after years of nothing. Stress, lots and lots of stress.

Then there's Albus. Harry has trouble understanding his son, he's not easy like James and Lily. Which is fine. But the problem is that Harry tries his best to reach Albus but he's never met halfway.

Albus seen my to refuse to believe anything but hero propaganda about Harry and his life at Hogwarts, and seems to have ignored literally anyone in his adult family who says differently. He doesn't seem to grasp to suffering and trauma that Harry has and grew up with, and scoffs in the face of it. Harry isn't perfect, but he's a good dad trying his best with a child who is frankly quite ungrateful.

Albus was being a little fucking spoiled brat to Harry and the poor dude was probably at his wits end with the one kid of his he didn't truly understand and who went out of his way to hate on everything Harry did and went through in his life. Like I said, Harry was under lots of stress from his job and so of course he would snap, anyone would, and say something they regret when provoked. Especially when you're trying your best to connect with your kid, even if it's not going great it's still an effort to do so, and then your kid just out and out says he wishes he wasn't your son? I think a lot of people would retort with something similarly hurtful. Harry immediately regrets it but both parties have been hurt so Albus storms off.

It's very annoying that everyone else in the play seems to be blaming Harry for Albus hating being his son and running off / running off to do something stupid. He was very obviously doing his best even though Albus was giving him nothing to work with. And for some strange reason people seemed to think Harry was in any way popular in 4th year? Like seriously people, where the fuck did that idea come from? Everyone hated Harry in his 4th year lol. Albus must be getting his info from a source as credible as Rita Skeeter if that's the case, that or every character magically, ha, forgot what really happened.

I also get annoyed at how they deal with the first alternate timeline. The first time they mess with time, Hermione and Ron never get married, Ron marries and has a son with Padma Patil and Albus ends up in Gryffindor. Harry proceeds to force a separation between the two boys for Albus safety, having been told there was a "black cloud" around his son. Of course the only person Albus hangs out with is Scorpius, and assuming events happened the same they had just jumped off the Hogwarts Express and gone missing for a bit, and assuming they had the same argument where they both say they wish they weren't the father/son of the other person, then it makes some sense what Harry does. Also, it's an alternate timeline.

But Scorpius tells Albus none of the events in Harry's life changed, so it seems like their meddling didn't change him. At all. I'm sorry, what the actual fuck? Scorpius I love you but no.

Just because the events stayed the same doesn't mean Harry personally wasn't changed in many small ways. There are people and life changing events erased from his experiences. His two best friends never got married and had kids, because Ron never got jelous over Hermione being Krums Yule Ball date. You trying to tell me that Ron and Hermione becoming different people with entirely different personalities didn't have any effect on Harry what so ever??? Bullshit. Like this was a direct and very significant change in his personal timeline and history, I refuse to believe this didn't change him. Hell, he might not even enjoy his job. Hermione isn't Minster for Magic so who knows whether the Ministry was properly freed of corruption and what polices and changes no longer exist, and what new ones might. So many little things that build up and shape someone's personal experiences and shape their personality.

I don't remember if it was ever directly addressed, but I think it was mentioned at the end of the play, but it says/implies(?) that Harry would have separated them and launched an investigation into Scorpius' parentage in the original timeline as well as the alternate one? I don't know if I believe that, and it's unclear if certain things still happened for everyone other than the boys because the changes the boys made were prevented later on when Scorpius is in the alternate universe where Harry was killed.

Another small aside, thank fuck for Scorpius. When he snapped and said something along the lines of "Oh poor little Albus Potter with his chip on his shoulder. At least your dad will always be your dad, mine won't be because everyone wants to tell me it's Voldemort. They want to tell me my poor sweet dead mother was such a monster to have a kid with him." Like damn someone really needed to tell Albus to stop whining about how apparently horrible and selfish his dad is.

Lastly, how the Time Turners function. Yes, I get these are new and one of a kind Time Turners designed and created outside Ministry regulation and designed to go back years at a time. However, it was originally established that time travel in this world with them works as a closed loop. They travel back in time because they already did. Harry survived the Dementors because he cast a patronus charm, and then went back in time to cast that charm because he already did, and if he hadn't he wouldn't have survived to go back in the first place. Closed loops.

In this however, they did actually do things that never happened. They probably even changed how Ron and Hermione got together, because it's unclear if they also prevented Albus casting the fireworks into the air above the second task declaring "Ron loves Hermione".

The only benefit of this fuckery with how Time Turners work is that it would then make sense why time travel fucks everything up so much it creates alternate timelines and alternate universes. It's still annoying that they casually fucked with how it's supposed to work but it's not as big an issue as the Fidelius charm thing. Also why did Hermione of all people keep the fucking thing??? Like I understand to an extent but seriously, and then to have such lax security on it? For fucks sake, don't you remember being 11 and getting past all the security put on the philosophers stone??!?! You might as well have put the time Turner in wrapping paper in comparison, because at least those ones had the potential to seriously maim or kill you.

Scorpius was a great character, I adore him and he was actually really well written. He's the sweetest thing and needs all the hugs. His relationship with his dad (Draco) is also amazing and a well written dysfunction of different personalities and effects of grief, but Draco loves his son no matter what and constantly tries his best. Despite my rant, I also like Albus and I adore their friendship and their dynamic. I don't mind character flaws, but sometimes they do get over the top and annoying like they did with Albus for a while there, mostly because of the way it influenced the plot.

I dont know, I probably missed shit I wanted to say and maybe got a little harsh sometimes but eh, it's a rant for a reason lol. I love the play, but once I start thinking about things that's when it goes a lot downhill from there haha.

Also Scorpius is amazing and I adore him. :)