#been rereading pg and i have Thoughts

[ninicaise]

"why don't we see laurent's schemes in kings rising? why does he act so helpless, like a puppet?" idk maybe because laurent & damen are no longer friends for the entire first half of kings rising so laurent is back to being completely alone and after prince's gambit he has no idea what to do without damen beside him. maybe bc laurent is not actually the domino master of the series. the regent is. maybe bc laurent is (canonically) behind in the game and the only reason he ever had a chance of winning is literally bc not him nor his uncle can ever predict wtf damen is going to do next. this is textual btw i am not making shit up. just as the "captive prince" is both damen and laurent, the "prince's gambit" is both laurent's and damen's gambit.

[jade0716]

Manon and Dorian are Mates: A Thesis

Now that we have more info on mates from CC, and with the speculation that the novel after the next acotar is a TOG one, I wanted to make a master post with all the evidence that I compiled that Manon and Dorian are mates. I even added dissenting opinions for the potential ones that could have other explanations because why not be thorough and impartial. AND I highlighted the ones in red that I felt like are absolutely evidence of mateness.

Here's hoping Sarah was dropping hints for a manorian spin off!!

TOG: 

I. Pg. 8 “On his black doublet, an emblazoned gold rendering a wyvern occupied the entirety of the chest. His red cloak fell gracefully around him and his throne”. 

the Adarlan colors being red and the symbol being a Wyvern. This may be coincidence since in the beginning SJM was planning a Celeana/Dorian end game but I think SJM chose to make the Crochan capes red to parallel the first time we see Dorian in TOG . Manon then bonding with Abraxos who is a wyvern is the icing on the cake.

Dissenting Opinion: The red cape was just a coincidence and red feels like the obvious color for witches given it is the color of blood. And the King of Adarlan/Erawan chose to breed wyverns because it was the symbol of house Havilliard.

QoS:

I. I know that the Valg eyes are why Manon was able to scare the Valg prince away in Dorian and pull him out of the possession. What interests me is:

Pg. 420, Roland was only able to regain control for a second after speaking to Manon before the demon took back over. I’m not going to quote this cause it’s the whole scene but go reread if you want. Dorian is able to beat the demon down and essentially say screw off while talking to Manon. Is it possible Dorian was able to regain control for a longer period of time because of a bond with Manon?

Pg. 463 “step away, get away. The demon prince inside him yanked so hard he took a step. But not away. Toward the white-haired witch”. Are we sure it’s the demon that was yanking him?? Especially since he was yanked towards her instead of away from her even though the demon wanted him away???

her name continued to ring in his head even after the demon took back over:

Pg. 469 “the words soon faded, swallowed up by screaming and blood and the demon’s cold fingers running over his mind. But those eyes lingered- and that name. Manon. Manon”

Pg. 518 “he could not remember a time when the demon had not been there inside of him. And yet- Manon.”

Is this a classic SJM easter egg similar to how we thought the bargain between Rhys and Feyre was the reason for the pull between them? Could she be trying to mislead the reader?

Dissenting Opinion: Manon's valg eyes and his want to be killed is why he remembers her name. He regained control longer because Dorian is stronger willed than Rolland.

II. Pg. 463, Dorian seeing Manon for the first time: “He’d never seen anyone so beautiful”. 

Sarah uses the “most beautiful person ever seen” repeatedly for her mated couples when they first meet. This could be writing style but it seems like a pattern in how she writes her mates meeting. I read ACOTAR and CC before TOG and when I read this line I was like yep they are mates seen this before.

Pg. 188 ACOTAR “standing before me was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen” - Feyre when seeing Rhysand for the first time 

Pg. 536 ACOMAF “you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I thought it from the first moment I saw you on Calanmai” Rhys about seeing Feyre the first time

In ACOWAR Lucien about Elain “she was the most beautiful female he had ever seen”.

Pg. 346 HOSAB “Ruhn found himself staring at the most beautiful female he’d ever seen” Ruhn seeing Lidia the first time.

Dissenting Opinion: Manon is canonically one of the most beautiful females in the world, especially because she is a witch designed to attract men.

III. pg. 492 “She stepped closer to the prince’s horse. ‘Dorian’… Sapphire eyes snapped to hers”..he remembered his name when she said it without looking into her Valg eyes. interesting.

IV. pg. 511 “Manon couldn’t tell why that thread kept yanking, why it felt so urgent, but she pushed them hard, all the way to Rifthold”. A thread is pulling her urgently towards Rifthold to save Dorian. Using the terms thread and Manon not knowing why it feels so important is so incredibly mate for shadowing.

Pg. 184 ACOTAR “go, a voice said, tugging at me. Go see.”

Pg. 412 ACOTAR “I was pulled from sleep by something tugging at my middle, a thread deep inside”. A THREAD.

Dissenting Opinion: Sarah does multiple times in TOG reference a tug pulling her main heroines to do things so this could just be the gods/fates pulling the thread.

V. pg. 640 “Dorian didn’t know what awoke him”. Some force awakens Dorian, he then goes out to his balcony and sees Manon outside.

Similar to Feyre being pulled to Rhys, Pg. 412 ACOTAR “I was pulled from sleep by something tugging at my middle, a thread deep inside"

Pg. 640 Manon says “she didn’t know why she’d bothered to go; why she’d been curious”. Manon Blackbeak, maneating witch, for no apparent reason, decides to go check up on a human man. Need I see more?

And again, her name echoes in his head (pg. 641) “through the darkness of his memories, through the pain and despair and terror he tried to forget, a name echoed in his head”. 

EOS:

I. Manon saving Dorian from the yellow legs (duh). She says her “instincts took over her” when she saw someone “taking her kill” ... then proceeds to rescue said kill. 

Pg. 44: “I have no doubt the Yellowlegs will try to claim his head. Stop any one of them who dares take it.”

Pg. 84: “And when Manon had spied that Yellowlegs sentinel perched inside the tower, readying to claim this kill for herself... a century of training and instinct had barreled into Manon. All it had taken was one swipe of Wind-Cleaver as Abraxos flew by, and Iskra's sentinel was dead.” WHAT INSTINCT? THE INSTINCT TO CLAIM YOUR KILL? Cause you actually rescued him afterwards not killed him sweetheart.

Clearly it wasn’t to claim the kill for herself. So what was it? Instinct? Helping the witches? She didn’t know of Dorian’s magic at this time, so how would saving Dorian help the witches? Seems like the instinct was from something else.

Pg. 85: “Some ancient, predatory part of her awoke at the half smile. It sat up, cocking its ears toward him”. Ancient and predatory? Mates.

II. The one million times Dorian protects her even though she starts off on Erawan’s side and he has no reason to be so protective:

Pg. 87: “Manon crashed to her knees. The king was instantly at her side, studying her for a heartbeat before he roared down the stairs, “NO!”” 

Pg. 369: ““No.” The word ripped from Dorian’s lips before he could think. But then it came out, over and over, as the wyvern and rider sailed closer to the ship. The witch was unconscious, her body leaning to the side because she was not awake, because that was blue blood all over her. Don’t shoot; don’t shoot— Dorian was roaring the order as he hurtled for where Fenrys had drawn his longbow, a black-tipped arrow aimed at the witch’s exposed neck. His words were swallowed by the shouting of the sailors and their captain. Dorian’s magic swelled as he unsheathed Damaris— “. This lowkey makes me chuckle like what is he gonna do with Damaris against a bunch of fae warriors lol.

Pg. 395: “Dorian didn’t feel like mentioning that he’d been the one who’d jumped into the water. He’d just … acted, as Manon had acted when she’d saved him in his tower. He owed her nothing less”.

Pg. 438: “Ice danced at Dorian’s fingertips as he slid beside Manon, still chained by the bed” when the bloodhound shows up on the ship.

Pg. 574: "That hunger shifted into something icy and vicious: 'You once asked me where I stand on the line between killing to protect and killing for pleasure'. His fingers grazed the seam of the scar across her abdomen. 'I'll stand on the other side of the line when I find your grandmother". Earlier in EOS Manon asks him why he didn’t make the bloodhound suffer, that there is a line even when it comes to their enemies. Apparently not when someone harms Manon.

III. Dorian’s magic reacting every time she is in danger or threatened:

Pg. 369: “His magic felt it before he did. A sense of awareness, of warning and awakening” when she comes in injured on Abraxos.

Pg. 369: “His words were swallowed by the shouting of the sailors and their captain. Dorian’s magic swelled as he unsheathed Damaris—“

Pg. 396: “Manon’s voice was flat and cold as death. “Tell Aelin Galathynius not to bother using me for negotiations. The Blackbeak Matron will not acknowledge me, either as heir or witch, and all you will get out of it is revealing your precise location.” His magic flickered. “What happened after Rifthold?”

Pg. 438: “Ice danced at Dorian’s fingertips as he slid beside Manon, still chained by the bed” when the bloodhound shows up on the ship.

Pg. 441: “Manon froze entirely. And didn’t particularly care as the Bloodhound lunged for her throat, teeth bared. It was not flame or wind that snapped the Bloodhound’s neck. But invisible hands. The crunch echoed through the room, and Manon whirled on Dorian Havilliard. His sapphire eyes were utterly merciless.”.

Pg. 457 ““If you were me,” Aelin murmured in a tone that had Dorian’s magic rising, ice cooling his fingertips. Aedion’s hand slid to his sword. “If you were me.” His magic flickering when Aelin RAISES HER VOICE at Manon (like come on this is mates shit).

Pg. 498-499: “ "As far as I recall,” Dorian went on with a sly grin, “you two—” The attack happened so fast that Aelin didn’t sense or see it until it was over. One moment, Manon was seated at the edge of the fire, the marshes a dark sprawl behind her. The next, scales and flashing white teeth were snapping for her, erupting from the brush on the bank. And then—stillness and silence as the enormous marsh beast froze in place. Halted by invisible hands—strong ones.” The fact that Dorian was mid sentence, not paying attention, and doesn’t even move a finger to protect her.

Even Aelin comments on it, Pg. 499: “But Dorian’s magic held the beast still, frozen with no ice to be seen. The same power as the one he’d wielded against the Bloodhound. Aelin surveyed him for any tether, any gleaming thread of power, and found none. He hadn’t even lifted a hand to direct it. Interesting.” IT IS INTERESTING AELIN. I also find it interesting that Aelin says the same power he wielded against the bloodhound, which was also to protect Manon.

Dorian about his magic sensing Rowan and Aelin’s bond, pg. 131, “His magic had felt the bond between Aelin and Rowan—the bond that went deeper than blood, than their magic, and he’d assumed it was just that they were mates, and hadn’t announced it to anyone.” Obviously later we find out it was because Aelin and Rowan were mates. So his magic canonically can sense a mating bond.

Also Rowan on Pg. 357 “I wanted to chuck you off a cliff, yet I bit you before I knew what I was doing. I think my body knew, my magic knew." His magic knew when he tasted her they were mates. Similar to how Dorian's magic has been acting? Like it knows something he doesn't?

VI. Pg. 575 “Manon thought the king tasted like the sea, like a winter morning, something so foreign and yet familiar it at last dragged that moan from deep in her.” The so foreign yet so familiar is so mate coded. Especially bc...

in HOF the Wastes are described as having winter mountains and near the western sea

Pg. 71: “To take our host to reclaim the Wastes from the mortal pigs who now dwell there." A fierce, wild thrill pierced Manon's chest, sharp as a knife. Following the Matron's gaze, Manon looked to the horizon, where the mountains were still blanketed with winter.”

Pg. 68: “Manon herself had never set foot in the former Witch Kingdom, had never seen the ruins or the flat, green expanse that stretched to the western sea.”

So it makes sense that the Wastes would smell of winter morning and the sea

VII. Pg. 577 “ Wondered what he’d say if she told him she’d wanted to sink her teeth into his neck and find out what he tasted like”.

Rowan on Pg. 357 “I wanted to chuck you off a cliff, yet I bit you before I knew what I was doing. I think my body knew, my magic knew. And you tasted …” Rowan loosed a jagged breath. “So good…” 

Manon in HOF Pg. 33: “The common, watery taste of the man, laced with violence and fear, coated her tongue, and she spat onto the wooden floorboards.”

Manon in QoS Pg. 463 “I’ve been with plenty of men. You’re all the same. Taste the same”. 

Manon has not shown to be particularly interested or intrigued by the blood of men aside from just to hunt and feed until Dorian. We also have Rowan describing how good Aelin tasted when he bit her and how he thinks "his magic knew". Is her attraction to Dorian’s blood because of this similar mating bond logic?

Dissenting Opinion: She just wants to taste Dorian's blood because she's attracted to him and so his blood is more enticing to her. She does say that the blood of the men at the Ferrian Gap distracts her in HOF, so obviously she sometimes does crave man blood.

KOA:

I. Again, we see Dorian’s magic reacting to her in a way instinctually

Cyrene attacks, pg. 78 “As Manon whirled, Dorian’s magic surged, already lashing at the unforeseen foe”

Manon fighting the Matrons, pg. 474 “Dorian’s magic writhed, seeking a way out, to stop this.”

Pg. 130: “Despite who walked ahead of them, behind them, Manon smiled slightly. He surprised her further by saying,"I've been tunneling into my power since they appeared. One wrong move from them, and I'll blast them into nothing." This is so touch her and you die vibes I love it.

Pg. 227: “ “I care.” His temper rose to meet hers. And he decided to hell with it—decided to let go of that leash he’d put on himself. Let go of that restraint. “I care about more than I should. I even care about you.” 

Same scene: Pg. 228: “Dorian smiled slightly, and fell asleep once more, letting his magic warm them both. When they awoke, something sharp in his chest had dulled—just a fraction…Where that edge had dulled in his chest, his magic now flowed freer. As if it, too, had been freed from those inner restraints he’d loosened slightly last night. What he’d opened up, revealed to her. A sort of freedom, that letting go."

This is right after he says he’s been trying with Vesta for days to get his eyes to change color and it hasn’t worked but one time with Manon and she warms his heart enough to let his magic go free.

When Maeve glamours as Manon to seduce Erawan, Pg. 639: “icy rage, pure and undiluted tore through Dorian as Manon stood before the Valg king.. Dorian focused upon his breathing, on the stones beneath him, anything to keep his magic from erupting at the desire on Erawan’s face” (also important bc when she glamoured as Aelin his magic didn’t do this!!!)

II. Pg. 225 ““Which do you like the best?”… “I like the ice best,” Dorian admitted at last, realizing he’d let the silence drip on. “It was the first element that came out of me—I don’t know why.” I know why!!

HOF pg. 230 “If Manon was ice and Asterin was fire, then Sorrel was rock.”

QOS pg. 68 “Asterin had always been that way—and that wildness was exactly why Manon had chosen her as her Second a century ago. The flame to Sorrel’s stone … and to Manon’s ice.”

III. Dorian refers to Manon as his equal, pg. 536 “she would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, his mirror in so many ways”.

SJM is very consistent about mates being equals and being mirrors of each.

Quote from Tampon in ACOTAR: “High Fae mostly marry,' he said, his golden skin flushing a bit. 'But if they’re blessed, they’ll find their mate—their equal, their match in every way.” This is almost verbatim what Dorian said about Manon.

Feyre to the Suriel: “How can I possibly be his mate?' Mates were equals- matched, at least in some ways. '

Rowan about discovering Aelin is his mate pg. 678 EOS "His equal. His friend. His lover. His Wife. His mate."

IV. Also in this scene Dorian talks about wanting to “claim her” as his wife/queen... Pg. 538 “the temptation that his every instinct roared to claim. Not the body, but what she had offered…” This could just be SJM writing style (fair argument), but nevertheless "claim" VERY matey. Especially because "the claiming" is a thing. Some examples:

HOF Pg. 158: “the bite so strong and claiming that she was too stunned to move”

EOS Pg. 352: “You are mine,” Rowan breathed, and she felt the claiming in her bones, her soul.

EOS Pg. 422: “A claiming, mighty and true, that she understood he so desperately needed.”

Dissenting Opinion: This is just SJM's writing style. Just because the word claim is used doesn't mean they are mates.

V. Manon screaming his name when he almost dies pg. 133 "Manon bellowed his name, and Crochan arrows fired... Manon screamed his name again, but he couldn't move... Then there were iron-tipped hands gripping his shoulders, and gold eyes glaring into his own".

This reminds me of in HOF when Manon shoots Rowan with an arrow and Aelin screams his name

Pg. 477 QoS... "Aelin's scream echoed down the Ravine" when Rowan is shot.

Pg. 655 EOS Aelin admits to Maeve she knew Rowan was her mate, "The moment the arrow when through his shoulder. Months ago"

This is also parallelled by Dorian screaming for Manon when she is in danger in EOS:

Pg. 87: “Manon crashed to her knees. The king was instantly at her side, studying her for a heartbeat before he roared down the stairs, “NO!”” 

Pg. 369: ““No.” The word ripped from Dorian’s lips before he could think. But then it came out, over and over, as the wyvern and rider sailed closer to the ship. The witch was unconscious, her body leaning to the side because she was not awake, because that was blue blood all over her. Don’t shoot; don’t shoot— Dorian was roaring the order as he hurtled for where Fenrys had drawn his longbow, a black-tipped arrow aimed at the witch’s exposed neck."

Dissenting Opinion: Aelin tells Rowan she saved Manon because Asterin screamed her name the same way she screamed Rowan. So technically by this logic Asterin and Manon could be platonic mates. And maybe Manon just screams Dorian's name because she cares about him not anything to do with being mates. (Counter Argument- but then why did Dorian scream her name in EOS so aggressively when he didn’t even know her then??)

Debunking arguments against them being mates:

I. Mates are only fae.

Manon is part fae, so she could have a mate.

E.g. Bryce is half fae half human also and mated with Hunt (who confirmed in HOFAS is the product of two angels and not fae); Lorcan is a demi fae and can have a mate (believed to be Elide who is human but unconfirmed); Aelin is demi fae prior to forging the lock and is mated with Rowan.

I also cannot find anywhere there is a rule that you must have XYZ amount of fae blood to have a fae-like mate, just have to have some fae blood. But we don't really know what percentage of Manon is fae vs Valg. Given she is half Ironteeth and half Crochan, she likely falls around that 50% fae line which is just as much fae blood as Lorcan, Bryce, Aelin, etc.

II. The Crochans believe in Mates

It’s not confirmed whether the Crochans do or don't have the traditional fae mating bonds, however we learned in CC2 basically anyone can have a true mating bond as long as one person has fae blood, E.g. Bryce and Hunt.

pg. 139 EOS the Crochans "... had adopted the Fae habit of selecting mates- if not a true mating bond, then in spirit".

pg. 139, EOS Manon's grandmother says about her father "But he did not love her- not with your mother as his true mate, the song of his soul". This sounds to me like her parents were believed to be a true fae mating bond not just "in spirit".

Pg. 316 HOSAB "Angels have mates. Not as.. soul-magicky as Fae, but we call life partners mates in lieu of husbands or wives". Sounds like the Angels have a mating bond "in spirit" similar to the Crochans. Except that Hunt then truly "fae mated" Bryce, and he doesn't have any fae blood.

When then find out Hunt and Bryce are "true mates"; Pg.492 HOSAB "It means that he's going ballistic in the way that only mates can when the other is threatened. It's what happened then and happened now. You're true mates- the way Fae are mates, in your bodies and souls".

III. Fae can have non fae mates.

We see this with Rhys/Feyre, Cassian/Nesta where they felt a pull prior to Feyre and Nesta being fae but it clicked into place when they were made.

We also see Bryce/Hunt in CC that are different species and have a traditional fae mating bond.

There is also Elide/Lorcan and Gavin/Elena in TOG that are “mates” (unconfirmed since the humans never became fae). Fae queens Mab and Mora also give up immortality for their human "mates".

So it is canon that you can have inter species mates or human mates, it just may never "click" into place if they are human.

via Hunt and Bryce, we do know the bond can completely click (souls and scents merging, etc.) between "magical" species once it is accepted, but we do not have this evidence with fae and human bonds.

I also don’t believe Dorian is entirely human. But that is completely my speculation

Pg. 933 KOA " 'I am human.' It warmed in his hand... 'I am human," he repeated, to the stars now visible above the city. The sword didn't answer again. As if it knew he no longer needed it." Yes he is human but he can be other things too. Similar to Aelin's quote about being a human in a fae body below. They identify and choose their human moral side, but that does not mean there are parts of them that are not human.

Aelin KOA Pg. 723: "I am human, deep down, Faerie Queen nonsense aside. I had human parents, and their parents were human, mostly, and even with Mab's line running true... I'm a human who can turn into Fae. A human who wears a Fae body".

On par with the theme of "Be grateful for your human heart" (Rhys, ACOTAR)

Also curious as to whether he does or does not have valg blood from his father. Because he could also have fae blood (distantly) from Elena/Brannon/Mala (Valg + Fae= Witch?)

IV. The mating bond would have clicked when they fucked… I think we all know this ain’t true anymore (cough cough Nesta and Cassian). You can have sex but if you do not accept the bond it will not click.

Rowan also says on pg 396 HOF "Sometimes, mates can be together intimately before the actual bond snaps into place"

V. Wyrd/Urd/the Mother/Fate (aka Sarah) gets to decide whose mates and who isn't

The only thing Sarah has been clear about is that she can basically make anyone mates that she wants as long as one person has fae blood. And even then, there is very much a "fate like force" aka Wyrd/Urd/The Mother that is working to pull the strings of fate and make people mates.

This is why we see so many interspecies fae bonds throughout the series. There is the fae bond like Ruhn and Lidia, but then there are the fae bonds that the Mother is orchestrating in the background.

Hellas speaks to Lorcan and Hellas's consort, the goddess Annieth, speaks to Elide. Lorcan and Elide are never confirmed mates as Elide remains human and yet there are still signs she is his mate even as a human.

Rhys's mind has able to find Feyre's when she was still human years before they met. Yes he has demati abilities but finding Feyre's mind is because they were fated to be mates.

Adias says about Hunt and Bryce mating bond HOFAS, Pg. 551 "I think that was left to higher powers. Whatever they might be".

There is no special "formula" for a mating bond. It happens when fate demands. Therefore it logically makes sense why the Mother/Wyrd/Urd would manipulate fate to ensure that Dorian and Manon were mates because they needed Manon to get into the witch mirror and raise the witch forces. They needed Manon to unite with Brannon's heir to defeat Erawan and destroy the keys, whether that be Aelin or Dorian. A mating bond would ensure that.

Also Wyrd/Urd means fate/personal destiny in nors mythology —> https://www.mimisbrunnr.info/ksd-web-of-wyrd and https://norse-mythology.org/concepts/destiny-wyrd-urd/ (read these if you want to theorize about acotar)

In conclusion, I think they could be mates but it won't fully snap into place (they won't fully merge souls, scents, etc.) unless Dorian is somehow Made. The only evidence of interspecies true confirmed fae mating bonds is Bryce and Hunt, and while they were able to fully "click" without Hunt being fae, it is very unclear why this is other than "high powers". We do know though that human Elide was very likely Lorcan's true mate, but we were never told of any clicking between them on that fae physiological level. So it is safe to assume that for a mating bond between a human and fae it will not "click" into place unless that human is turned fae.

HOWEVER, I do think it is possible because of Dorian's raw magic, he could be a rare exception to this rule similar to Hunt. So maybe it just has not clicked because Manon and Dorian have not accepted it. Which would also make sense given the nature of their relationship through most of the series, them denying their feelings to each due to their emotional unavailability.

Dissenting Opinion: But we also don't know how the angels were created by the Asteri, so maybe Hunt is "made" and not actually an exception.

Anyway, there's my evidence. There was some more evidence that I had and then removed because even though I think it is proof of a deeper connection I didn't think it was mate related (e.g. Abraxos taking Manon to Dorian when she says take me somewhere safe, I came to the conclusion that that showed Abraxos's awareness in protecting Manon).

Here are the links to some other tumblr posts on them being mates. I did look at these when putting this together so full credit to those individuals :)

[llovelyclouds]

notes on alecto

hii!! so a few months ago i did a full reread of the locked tomb and took note of anything i thought seemed particularly relevant. I want to share what I have but I'm not sure exactly how i want to format everything quite yet- but im just gonna go for it so bear with me if its a little disorganized!

throughout the process i've started coming up with some of my own theories, but i thought it would be cool to post everything i've compiled, so people could use that to make their own conclusions as well :D

I have sections for anything that seemed important about all the original lyctors & their cavaliers, so I'm going to start off with all my information gathered about alecto! buckle in, folks, there's a lot :-)

you can find links to the other posts in the project here!

(also ofc spoilers for the up to the end of nona ahead!)

ALECTO

titles:

Also referred to as “A.L.”, “Annabel Lee,”or “Annie Laurie”  John’s cavalier, the soul of the Earth. (And of course, nona <;3)

Annabel Lee poem  (mentioned htn. pg. 196)

Annie Laurie poem (mentioned htn. pg. 345)

notes from harrow the ninth:

Harrow's psychosis seems to begin after seeing Alecto for the first time (htn. pg. 51)

Augustine describes her as "more lucid" than Mercy as an insult to Mercy (htn. pg 168)

"'God, who did you bury?' [...] 'I buried a monster,' he said." (htn. pg. 195)

(depending on how much of The Body is real) Agrees that Harrow should kill G1dieon (htn. pg. 226)

“Augustine said, ‘To sisters, and to the women we‘ve left behind.’ God’s mouth was cheerful as ever, but his eyes were not when he said, 'Do I have to drink to that?’ For the first time, you were witness to the Saint of Patience discombobulated. ‘Apologies, John. Wasn’t meant as a jab.’ ‘It doesn’t hurt anymore- most of the time,’ said God, and he was still smiling.” (htn. Pg. 277)

"Even the devil bent for God to put a leash around her neck… and the disciples were scared! I cannot blame them! I was terrified! But when the work was done- when I was finished, and so were they, and the new Lyctors found out the price- they bade him kill the saltwater creature before she could do them harm… Oh, but it is a tragedy, to be put in a box and laid to wait for the rest of time." - Teacher (htn. pg. 328)

Says she has to go away for a while immediately after Varun appears (htn. pg. 334)

John says that G1deon doesn’t talk about her, but Augustine and Mercy still feel guilty about what happened (htn. pg. 345)

“When I first met her I just called her First, One. She had a real name, but I buried it with her, and nobody says it anymore.” - John (htn. Pg. 345)

“Annabel Lee was my- what do I call her? Guide? Friend? I’d hope so… [...] She was the first Resurrection. She was my Adam. As the dust settled and I beheld what was left and what was gone, I was entirely alone. The world had been ended, Harrowhark. One moment I was a man, and the next moment I was the Necrolord Prime, the first necromancer, and more importantly, a landlord with no tenants. [...] I was dazed… I was bewildered… and she was my defender and my sole companion, and my colleague in the scholarship of learning how to live again. It was bloody difficult. I had never been God. [...] She lived to see what happened at Canaan House. Not that she took much interest. My first Resurrection was not a normal human being, Harrow, and she struggled to pretend. Anger was her besetting sin. We had that in common. And when the cost of Lyctorhood was paid, when the emotions were at their peak… we found out the price for our sin. The monstrous retribution. To be chased for our crime to the ends of the universe, to have our deed stain our very faces and follow after us like a foul smell. She died after that first terrible assault.” - John (htn. pg. 346)

"That freak would have gone for me already… she could never act human." -Mercymorn (htn. pg. 408)

the lyctors knew some amount of truth about Alecto's resurrection, likely that shes essentially a resurrection beast (htn. pg. 478)

"'A monster, John!' Augustine barked. "She was a bloody monster in a human suit! She was a monster the moment you resurrected her, and then you went and made her worse!'" - Augustine (htn. pg. 478)

Gideon & Pyrrha liked Alecto despite the fact that the other lyctors (at least Mercy and Augustine) didn't (htn. pg. 479)

One of the reasons the lyctors wanted her dead was because the RBs were partially coming for her (htn. pg. 479)

Appears to claim Harrow's body after Gideon "dies" in the river (htn. pg. 500)

notes from nona the ninth

"Sometimes, [...] I don't like when you do- the necromancy word- [...] -but it feels nice at the same time. It's mixed up. It's like when you do that, it makes me sad- not sad that you did it, but sad that you can do it." - Nona, to Palamades (ntn. pg. 65) 

"Nona loved the blue sphere as much as she loved everything else. She, and nobody else, could hear it sing." (ntn. pg. 125)

"'And I'm not scared of dying. Really truly, Cam, I'm not…' 'Why not?' said Camilla. Nona thought about it. 'Because I like letting go of the pull-up bars and falling off,' she said. 'I don't like the part just before you let go and I don't like the part where you hit the floor, but I like the letting go.'"- Nona and Cam (ntn. pg. 125)

"Dust of my dust- such similar star salt- what they did to you and what they wrung from you and what shape they made you fill- we see you still- we seek you still- we murdered- we who murder- you inadvertent tool- you misused green thing- come back to us- take vengeance for us- we saw you- we see you- I see you." - Judith, (as Varun) to Nona (ntn. pg. 164)

Nona likes Gideon's (originally Pyrrhas?? maybe?) sunglasses, but only so long as nobody wore them (ntn. pg. 165)

"then she told herself sternly, Stop it! If she was going to do it, she thought, she might as well do it. She had some vague notion that when you committed to a thing you had to do it all the way. Who had said that to her? Who had taught her that? Once you've stepped in, said the voice in the back of her head, you're in. This isn't the Hokey Pokey. She had remembered something- she had finally remembered something! Only she didn't have anyone to tell." (ntn. pg. 203)

"Nona had thrown exactly two tantrums in her entire life. She couldn't remember anything about the first one, but Pyrrha had told her about it. Pyrrha had been laughing with her mouth, but not with her eyes: her eyes had been very brown and distant and uneasy, as though this tantrum had reminded Pyrrha of something her brain didn't want to bring back." (ntn. pg. 275)

"'But you see, Palamades, I don't mind dying,' said Nona, trying to make him understand. 'I've been doing it for ages. I'm not scared.'" (ntn. pg. 289)

"'I am glad you did not tell us this. We had no idea there was any recourse from Varun the Eater's effects, nor any beast.' 'Its pure theory,' Camilla said curtly. "Something's being transmitted through the light spectrum. Absorption through the eyes is worse for the brain.' This made Nona think of something. It tugged at the edges of her memory and stayed there, nagging.'" - We Suffer & Cam (ntn. pg. 322) 

Nona says that she never liked her hands (ntn. pg. 357)

"She wanted to shout. She wanted to be listened to. She wished the barrier had taken her hands. She wished she had thrust herself into it- become that big seething mass of flesh and meat and tendrils- ruined her body, just melted it; come back messed up, so that nobody could want her body but her, so that it would be hers and nobody else's. This was a horrible thing to think. Nona hated herself immediately and fervently." (ntn. pg. 358)

She hates having just two feet (ntn. pg. 390)

“You were the noise that was everywhere. It was like trying to talk to someone down a phone line with someone screaming through a megaphone in the same room. You drowned everything out. You were so huge and so complicated, and you were screaming, You wouldn’t stop screaming, You were so scared. You were so goddamn mad.” (ntn. pg. 405)

“You were screaming. I wanted you to stop, I wanted… I wanted you. I wanted you like a caveman wants a wildfire… or the sun. I thought you were going to take me, somehow. Purge me. Use me as an instrument. But you didn’t say anything…I was babbling, Show me. Come on. I’m ready. You kept screaming and screaming… like a baby in pain. So I tried to hurt you- I did hurt you. I reached out for you, and it hurt you… but I wasn’t strong enough. The caveman. The wildfire. The Neolithic priest staggering in front of the falling star.” (ntn. pg. 407)

“I wanted to make you the most beautiful body I could think of. He paused and said: “But I was stressed, okay? I was insane. Most of what had made me John had gone somewhere else. There were a few little thoughts left…a handful of things that made me me… a couple scraps of id. It’s not fair to judge me, right? I didn’t do this thinking… I didn’t do it like art. When I was seven, you know, all Nana had to play with in her house was some of Mum’s old toys. And my favourite out of all of them…” He gave a long, shuddering sigh. “My favourite was her old Hollywood Hair Barbie,” he murmured. “I loved her little gold outfit and her long yellow hair. She was the best. She got to have all the adventures. [...]” He said, from my blood and bone and vomit I conjured up a beautiful labyrinth to house you in. I was terrified you’d find some way to escape before I was done. I made you look like a Christmas tree fairy… I made you look like a Renaissance angel… I made you Adam and Eve… Galatea. Barbie. Frankenstien’s monster with long yellow hair. He said, As the world went up I remade us both. I hid me in you… I hid you in me. And when we were together… once the shaman had claimed the sun… I became God.”- John (ntn. pg. 408)

“Do you remember what you said to me once I had done it? When we stood here together?” She looked at him and she said, “Yes.” He said- “You said, ‘I picked you to change, and this is how you repay me?’” She said- “What else did I say?” He said: “You said, ‘What have you done to me? I am a hideousness.’” She said- “What else did I say?” He said, “Where did you put the people? Where did they go?” She said, “I still love you.” He said, "You said that too.” - John & Alecto/Harrow (ntn. Pg. 410)                                                

Nona has some kind of blackout on top of the truck and something happens in that time that convinces Pyrrha of her true identity (ntn. pg. 413)

Also based on Nona’s reaction at that point, maybe Alecto didn’t like Pyrrha even though Pyrrha liked Alecto (ntn. pg. 413)

“She’s scared to die. You’re afraid of so many things, but she’s only afraid to die. Then when the disciples come to you and say the word Lyctor, she does not understand that they want the thing you did to her- she watches as you watch… watch them misunderstand the process.” - Harrow, to John, (ntn. pg. 434)

“In [Aiglemene’s] hands was a huge black-metal pike about the same height as her, with an edge that gleamed in the light. Nona couldn’t stop herself looking at that edge: for some reason it made her palms sweat, and the back of her neck itch again.” (ntn. pg. 454)

“I might not help you when.. I'm back," she said, not quite understanding I. “I'll be different. I'll remember everything. I'll remember the thing I'm trying to forget. And Palamedes-  I won't love him. I won't love Camilla, or Pyrrha, or Hot Sauce, or even Noodle. I won't love anything… I won't know how. I won't be me at all, or.. I'll be the me who knows the thing, and knowing the thing means I'm not Nona- I'm someone else." (ntn. pg. 460)

she recognizes the tower, and the devils (ntn. pg. 440, and 447, respectively)

“You let that monster out of its box," said Ianthe, "and you start us down a path nobody can save us from. If God truly wants her out… if Teacher set this all up… if he wants her…"  “Wants her? He told me to kill her. He said Make it quick, but kill her, said me with my blood could do it- said me with my blood, I was the only one… " [...] “He loves her! " Ianthe howled. “John loves Alecto - John needs Alecto! Without that piece of Goddamn fridge meat, he's nothing- and we need to keep him that way!” - Ianthe & Kiriona, accidentally prompting nona to remember everything (ntn. pg. 470)

“She had been taken down this corridor: she had squeezed through this crack in the rock- not a passageway, not at that point. John had told her he had something to show her. He had said, It's very pretty. You'll like it. [...] John loved her. She was John's cavalier. She loved John. For she so loved the world that she had given them John. For the world so loved John that she had been given. For John had so loved her that he had made her she. for John had loved the world. [...] She hadn't come on purpose; the scrap of black-eyed meat had asked for it- the chain of a kiss: the ice that burnt the flesh of the mouth that had stuck to the mouth that was frozen.The teardrop on the hand. The hand that John had fashioned. [...] John had said, It's so beautiful. Come and look. She had said, There are almost no beautiful things left. where is Anastasia? Let me talk to Anastasia. [...] Glowworms, she had told John. Technically beetles, said John, but I always loved them. Narrow beetles with long strands hanging off them- a carpet of shifting, dead, winking lights at the top of the grave. Greenish, orangish, yellowish, moving over one another silently with those long filaments hanging down. [...] And the water- the huge pool of real salt water, where she had knelt and drank- [...] John and she had swum to the centre hummock rising out of the pool. Not an island, not really. An outcropping. With the marble pillars, and the marble top, and the long low marble table. He said he thought it was a nice place to be. To lie down. She had liked hard things to lie down on. It was hard to endure having a spine.” (ntn. starting page 471)

“There she was; John had made her so ugly, so unbearably ugly. The terrible face, with the terrible arms and legs and the terrible middle part, and the terrible hair, and the terrible ears: the nose too short, the ears too brief. But there she was- and within her the child, asleep, with the strange sword. The sword- her sword- her own edge had been pushed out, her swinging edge, her toy. Her plain bladed sword. And her body was chained up…” (ntn. pg. 474)

“Then Alecto remembered the vow, and turned back upon the altar to face the second child and raised the sword with wrath in her heart, for they meant to bring destruction upon her. But when the black-eyed infant showed her countenance to Alecto, Alecto recalled her, for it was a face one dreamed in Alecto's dream. and Alecto stayed the sword.” (ntn. pg. 476)

“And Alecto said, Pyrrha, he laid me down as an appeasement to them; he fed you to them as an appeasement to them; but he has never appeased me, and now all he has done was teach me how to die." (ntn. Pg. 476) 

"Alecto said, I am very sorry about Samael. The child made no answer. Alecto said, I remember my vows. As I swore to Anastasia I swear to you. I am in your service until you bid me the favour, and whatsoever you appoint I shall perform, and consider the vow rendered. This is what I promised, until such a time as you deal with me as you see fit.” (ntn. pg. 477)

[findmeabowloftrash-blog]

okay so. I am very very recently into The Property of Hate. I am caught up, and rereading bits and parts, while attempting to find blogs that still actively talk about/post about it. I'm quite new, so there's a good chance I have just missed it, but these are some things I have noticed/wondered that I haven't seen talked about.

1) Theory: The eyes on (the top half of) the butterfly's wings are RGB's eyes. Reasoning: In "Iris," on pages 455 and 456, we see the butterfly glare at RGB while asking if he cares who they (the butterfly) once was, and he says no. It then cuts him, and we get a brief flashback of, presumably, human RGB telling someone (whoever the butterfly used to be? Or his reflection, perhaps?) that he hates them, with the same glare. This is also, I believe, the only time we ever see his eyes in a flashback. Further, the butterfly is widely believed to be Hate, and it would make sense that his own hatred (of this other person? of himself?) is what "blinded" him. ESPECIALLY if it blinded him to his own potential. More on that later.

2) Observation: Negative seems to wear actual spats, as opposed to having them be part of his shoes. Relevance: Mod once said in answer to an ask about RGB's suspenders that nothing about him is genuine, it's only meant to appear that way, and cited his not-actually-spats as one example. If Negative does indeed wear real spats, does that make at least part of him more "genuine" than RGB?

3) Theory(?): Negative means no harm to Hero, and in fact cares a great deal about her. Reasoning: He's clearly intelligent, not just violent toward whatever is closest, because in his first appearance he protects Hero, rather than going after her himself. If the Fears were no match for him, why waste time fighting them if he wanted to hurt her? She would have been the weakest target, not the Fears. Then, in the desert, after creating the giant rose to protect himself and Hero, once he looks up and notices her, the eye on his screen looks teary, like it's watering up. (Pg 355) And wouldn't you cry if a child you wanted to protect came back into a deadly storm for you? In addition, I saw a post somewhere reasoning that the House of Lead belongs to Negative, and in that post the OP theorized that Negative wanted Hero to tell RGB about him. If he were antagonistic, or had literally any ill will toward Hero, that wouldn't make any sense.

Miscellaneous thoughts and rambling:

RGB calls himself "an unreliable narrator at best" during the same conversation/monologue/story he says that he is a failure, that the only thing he ever does is fail. ("After all, I died, didn't I?" -pg 472) And it seems that way, based on his history with heroes, sure. He fails pretty much all of his goals in the story (even ones like "don't get attached"). But if we go based on a number of meta things, we can easily reason that that isn't true, and he is, in fact, an unreliable narrator of his own life. For one, he was almost certainly an actor or entertainer of some sort. That in and of itself is a form of success. But beyond that, we have Mod's "The Face of Television" art, which implies he was VERY successful. There is also the "I was in Brooklyn when I found out" art of Dial looking at obituaries in the newspaper. Why would the obituary of a failed British actor be in an American newspaper? He had to have been someone well-known. Finally, on page 433, all the way to the left, among the static, you can see, "-reaking news tonight --as famed --tertainer". All of this heavily points toward RGB being, not a failure, but instead highly successful when he was human. Rather, I think the "failure" part comes from how he viewed himself. Unable to look in the mirror, to stand himself at all, to think of himself as anything more than a projection-- empty, hollow. And isn't that exactly how he ended up? I think that he played into Hate's hand because he did, in fact, have hatred-- but it wasn't the kind she could use against others directly, because he doesn't hate others; He hates himself. He hates himself so strongly that, even after selling his memories, he still truly believes that he is, at his very core, a failure.

Maybe Negative is the part of him that believes in himself??

Also:

I never see anyone talk about the recurring shapes/symbols in RGB's flashbacks/dreams. I'm mentally calling them: Box (or possibly Casket), Hands, Iron, Teardrop, Rectangles. They appear on pages 335 and 456, at least. Possibly others. Really really curious what they represent.

Anyway I'm sure I'm missing a lot of well-known fandom stuff but. I just needed to put my thoughts together and dump them into a public space.

[crazyplantkid]

Rereading all for the game except it’s Quotes Time

I’ll add them as i go

it’s about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you. -Wymack, TFC, pg. 13

Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought, perhaps he liked it. -Neil, TFC, pg. 154

“are you stupid?” Seth asked. “Yeah,” Neil said. -TFC, pg. 156

“maybe you’re not as stupid as i thought.” “maybe i am” -Seth and Neil, TFC, pg. 165

“this is my reassured face,” Neil said, pointing up at his blank expression. -TFC, pg. 186

“Kevin, the man is dead. Like, permanently.” “not a major loss.” -Nicky and Kevin -TFC, pg. 248

“one day i want you to look up ‘insensitivity’ in the dictionary,” Matt said annoyed, “I’m sure it’ll do your ego wonders to see you picture printed beside it.” -Matt, TRK, pg.8

As he listened to them, Neil realised he was happy. it was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt included or safe. -TRK, pg. 66

“It’ll be easier if he remains heterosexual.” -Kevin, TRK, pg. 69

(i’ll be real, i got to enraptured to take down any quotes but i finished the Raven King,, sorry)

“The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?” “If it means losing you then no,” -Andrew and Neil, TKM, pg. 21

“You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.” “I’m not a hallucination,” Neil said, nonplussed. “You are a pipe dream,” -Andrew and Neil, TKM, pg.21

“I’m sorry, Neil. We should have been there for you” “I wouldn’t have let you be.” -Abby and Neil, TKM, pg.28

“You hate me, remember?” “Every inch of you,” Andrew said. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” -Neil and Andrew, TKM, pg. 61

(guys i’m sorry, i got distracted again, you get it)

He dreamed of facing his father on an Exy court, and his dream the foxes won -TKM, pg. 290

(i finished the series again :( only took me three days :( i miss it already)

[rorywritesjunk]

The stars in their courses will run and bring their hearts earthward to hear her.

Buggy brings his son in to the bakery to get a treat for his birthday. You like decorating cakes. Rating: PG-13ish. Warning: These two are trying their best. Birdie's got some issues. Buggy's got some issues. Together they have a subscription. Talk of child abandonment, Buggy doesn't want to talk. Bath time. Boundaries, Buggy. Also Buggy tries with compliments. A/N: Now that Birdie has a name I think of her a lot tbh.

Title comes from “Girl in the Garden” by S.J. Tucker.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Darby really thought having you on board the ship was the best thing ever. You let him help you cook meals, read him books (he had ten books to choose from and you reread them to him as many times as he asked), and you loved playing with him. Sometimes you got tired and had to sit down, but even though you couldn't chase him around like his daddy did, you could still do other things.

His least favorite thing was getting a bath, even though it was only once a week. He hated being in the water, hated having his hair washed, face clean, everything that came with a bath and he made a fuss about it, whining at you, pouting, and crying for it not to happen. Buggy was there to support in case you needed it, but honestly he made it worse once he saw Darby’s big, sad eyes while he sat in the little wash tub. He'd insist that maybe Darby didn't need one, but you didn't back down.

“You're next, Buggy.” You warned him as you were letting Darby have an extra few minutes of playtime in the tub. Once the washing was over, he usually settled down and wanted to have time in there to splash around and play, which you allowed, giving him a toy whale to play with. “You're pretty stinky yourself.”

“What! No, I don't need one.” Buggy insisted, shaking his head. “I get by fine with a rag.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. It had been a month now since you arrived. Routines were put into place, even some boundaries, but every night while the two of you were in bed, he'd ask a question to get to know you better, still insistent that he was in love with you. And you gave him one-word answers, especially when he'd ask about family.

After a few minutes, you grabbed a towel and lifted Darby out of the wash tub and wrapped him up in it. Buggy was ready with his pajamas, though he was fine to let you handle everything because you were just so sweet and gentle with Darby. You had told him a few nights ago when you were putting Darby to bed how you always wanted kids, wanted to be a mom, but there was never an opportunity until you met Buggy, but it wasn't like you were expecting to get pregnant. It was something that just happened. It was probably the most you opened up to him so far.

“How come you're so good with kids?” Buggy asked as you helped Darby with his clothes. You paused for a moment, thinking about your answer, before you made sure Darby's hair was dry. You picked the boy up and went to sit down at the table, keeping him in your lap as you looked over at Buggy. “It just… comes so naturally to you.”

“Do you want that to be your bedtime question?” You asked as you grabbed a comb and ran it through the kid’s hair carefully, being mindful of tangles. 

“Will I get a real answer?” He retorted as he put his hands on his hips. “You have given me a lot of one word answers since we started our little romance, y’know, and I think I'd like another full sentence now.”

You shrugged, setting the comb down before wrapping your arms around Darby and hugging him. He squirmed around in your arms, trying to hug you back, but settled for letting his head rest over your heart while his thumb went to his mouth. He sighed and closed his eyes as he relaxed against you.

“I helped Mama with the babies and little ones at the orphanage.” You told him as you rubbed Darby's back slowly. Buggy frowned.

“Your mom ran an orphanage?”

You hesitated. Did you really want to get into this right now? You were tired, Darby was starting to settle down for the night, and you wanted to wash up before bed. But now seven months pregnant, it was a little harder to wash up, especially since you did it standing up with the wash tub. 

“I'm going to put Darby to bed and… if you refill the tub with clean water, I'll answer that question next.” You told him as you stood up. Buggy didn't look convinced. “I promise, Buggy. I'll answer that question if you… help me out with my bath. It's getting a little harder to do some things.”

Buggy frowned at that, wondering if you really would or if this was all a ploy to get his help. You brushed past him but he stopped you with a hand on your arm. 

“Look, if you got things you can't talk about-”

“No, I just don't want to talk about it, but maybe I should.” You shrugged. “I'm going to put him to bed. Will you please change the water for me?”

You walked out after that, heading to Darby’s room to put him down for the night. He woke up for a moment, frowning at you as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. You handed him his stuffed penguin, tucked him in, and kissed him on the forehead. Once you were certain he was asleep, you went to grab some dry towels from your room before you went back to the kitchen, pausing when you saw Buggy filling the wash tub with boiling water. You raised an eyebrow, watching as he stuck his hand into the water only to jerk it back in surprise at the temperature.

“Are you going to cook me, Buggy?” You asked. “Because I don’t know if I’m edible.”

“I’unno, I find you pretty tasty.” He grinned and winked at you, giving you a look over. “Y’know, this is the first time I’ve got to help you bathe. Do we need to lay down rules about what I can’t do?”

“Is this your attempt at flirting?” You chuckled as you sat down at the table, lifting one of your legs up. “Can you take my shoes and socks off for me? It’s… it’s getting hard for me to do it.”

“Well, you’re the size of a whale, I’m surprised you’re moving as much as you are. ” He shrugged as you made a face at his compliment. He took notice and frowned. “What? You are!”

“I guess I’ll take the compliment, but Buggy, people usually don’t want to be compared to something like a whale, so… try a different animal.”

“What? Whales are beautiful, so it’s a compliment!” Buggy shot back, his face flushing as he walked over and knelt in front of you, pushing your skirt up to your knees before he started to unlace your shoes. You reached down to tug on his hair to get his attention, and when he looked up you stuck your tongue out at him. He tossed your shoes aside before he started working on your socks. “You wanna use that tongue of yours for something, babe?”

“Oh hush.” You crossed your arms and leaned back in the chair, looking over at the washtub. You strummed your fingers against your arm as you considered your next question. “So, um, did you still want an answer to your earlier question?”

Buggy placed your socks with your shoes and looked up at you with an unreadable expression. He stood up and sent his hand to the tub to check on the water temperature, it felt fine so he held his dry hand out to you. You wondered why he was so quiet suddenly, wondering what he was thinking as he led you over to it and started to help you undress. He was kind enough to drape your clothes over the chair to keep them from getting dirty on the floor, even helping you step into the tub. 

“Yea, I want an answer.” He said as he grabbed a clean washcloth from the pile of towels and dipped it into the water. “Your mom ran an orphanage?”

“It’s what she wanted us to call her.” You shivered when he brought the cloth to your back, running it across your shoulders. You collected your hair, pulling it away to give him better access, now wishing you put it up first. “I don’t… really remember much, but she says I was three when my parents left me there at the orphanage.”

You felt him pause, the water dripping from the cloth and onto your skin, rolling down your back. You glanced over your shoulder at him. “You good?”

He only nodded, his mind spinning as he took in what you just told him. He turned his attention to your back once more, putting a hand on your hip to keep you steady as his other hand wiped the cloth over your back. “Why were you left there?”

“I used to wonder, y’know, because I have faint memories of my parents.” You replied, shivering again at his touch. He dipped the cloth back into the water and wrung it out before moving it under your arms. “Um, said they didn’t want me. Said that they always wanted a little boy, but then they had me first and… kept me around until they had my little brother a few years later.”

Buggy inhaled sharply and you looked over at him again. It was surprising to see him mad, but given what you just told him, you figured it stirred up memories about Darby’s situation. You reached back and touched his cheek, his gaze softening a bit as he sighed.

“You don’t have to keep telling me.” He mumbled. “You’ve said a lot.”

“It wasn’t the worst place, Mama did what she could. She wasn’t cruel to us. Tried her best to take care of us.” You continued as you turned around to face him. “Sometimes we went hungry, and sometimes we were cold, but she tried. I learned to bake and cook from her, and when I got older I helped take care of the little ones that were left with her.”

“Stop talking.” Buggy snapped. “You don’t have to keep telling me. Shit, it’s already depressing you don’t have parents, I don’t need to hear about the orphanage!”

“You want to get to know me, Buggy, so I'm telling you, okay?!” You shot back. 

“I don't want to hear about it!” He said, throwing the washcloth into the tub as he pulled away from you. “I can't listen to this.”

You glared at him as you started to reach to pick up the washcloth, but being off balance already from the baby and where the washcloth ended up made it difficult to grab it. You felt yourself start to fall forward out of the tub but Buggy was there to stop you, catching you and pulling you upright to steady you. You grabbed onto his arms for balance until you were upright. There was a moment of silence, the water in the tub no longer sloshing from the sudden movements  when you sighed and looked up at him.

“Buggy, you can't pick and choose what you want to know about me if you're certain you're falling in love with me.” You said firmly as you kept a hold on him, feeling a little unsure about letting go just yet. He looked away from you, keeping his arms around you while his hands grabbed a towel to wrap around you.

“Just don't want to hear about orphanages, okay?” He mumbled. “I could have lost my kid to one and… makes me wonder somethin’ about this little brat that's on the way.”

“What are you wondering?” You asked as you wrapped the towel around yourself before stepping out of the tub. He was still holding onto you, not trusting your balance now even though you were fine. 

“If that kid has my nose, would you have dumped them off somewhere?” He asked. “Darby’s mom was going to do that. Not only did she not want a kid, she didn't want a kid with a nose like mine, y’know, didn’t want a kid that looked like me and… what if this one has the same nose, would you have done that?”

It was hurtful he would think that, but he was guarded because of those features. You learned quickly he didn't want you touching his nose, whether on accident or even to kiss it. Darby wasn't sensitive like his dad about his nose, but you had already seen how protective he was over his son. He probably wasn't aware his nose made him look different from other kids.

“No.” You sighed. “I wouldn't have done that, Buggy.” 

You pulled away from him to grab your clothes. It was a little frustrating your bath was cut short but neither of you were in a great headspace right then. You pulled your skirt and top back on before looking back at him.

“Maybe I should sleep in my room tonight, Buggy.”

“Why?” He demanded. “You know that mattress is shit for your back.”

“I think you need to collect yourself and I need a breather.” You told him as you collected the damp towels to hang up. Buggy shook his head and crossed his arms as he frowned at you.

“I don't want to.” He said stubbornly. “Besides, Darby will be upset if you're not in there.” He looked away, itching his cheek before glancing back at you. “I’m not used to sleeping alone now.”

“Boundaries, remember?” You told him. “I think a night apart would be good and I need you to respect that.”

He didn't like the idea, he liked having you in his bed at night, but if he wanted to keep you around then he probably needed to listen to your needs. He was sulking, giving you a dismissive wave as he looked away from you. You managed not to roll your eyes as you patted him on the shoulder and walked out of the kitchen, leaving him by himself.

[just-antithings]

I'm not saying adults insisting they only need to read YA books and watch children's cartoons is leading to this culture wide phobia of sex which in turn is becoming a useful vector for the increasing spread of fascism except that is exactly what I'm saying.

Im not that anon but want to expand on their thought, if they're saying what I think they are.

I thought of this more when seeing an old post of someone saying their English teacher should have let them write a report on Divergent instead making them read 1984. Someone commented supporting the OP, saying that they never read Divergent, but 1984 is problematic. Iirc, the commenter referred to Winston (I think that's the protag in 1984; sorry I haven't reread it in years) as a creep. I can't remember is this specific commenter called Winston a misogynist, but that's a common complaint I hear when people say they don't like 1984.

The screenshot of that post also had other screenshots, including the twt posts of YA authors saying that the classics were problematic. It's a sentiment I keep seeing around book twt before I deactivated my account but still on booktube as well, and it's always booktubers who also read and rant about Colleen Hoover, because they know her name gets clicks. Or booktubers that do those videos titled "I read [old/popular/controversial] series so you don't have to".

Sorry, sliding off topic a bit. Going back to what anon said, YA books tend to be more sanitized. They're supposed to be written for a 15-19 audience, so sex and gore aren't supposed to be explicit. There are YA books with sex scenes. 2 I read recently have sex scenes, but they aren't explicit. One uses mostly poetic language and infers to what's happening, and the other essentially fades to black after they get into bed, as they're touching and then picks up the next morning. (One of these YA books had a big controversy on booktube a few years ago for being problematic, though. Gee, wonder why /s)

But for the most part, often for people who enjoy urban fantasy or romances but not steamy scenes, they may go for YA, since it's usually more "PG". Unfortunately, some people get it in their head that this makes YA inherently "better", that adult books that are being more explicit are only doing it to get more sales, when YA tbh has a tighter hold on it marketing-wise.

Okay, I'm not published (yet), but I've been studying it when I need to take a break from writing to see what course is best for me and what I want to write. YA is becoming oversaturated in the market, so it's not as big a "money making genre" for debut authors as it might have been once (and I'd argue that even in the past when YA was smaller, you still had to be lucky, known, or connected to get that 6-figure check for a debut YA novel). YA is more likely to get scrutinized, considering its supposed to he for a younger audience, so a YA author wanting to push boundaries is going to receive more push-back than an adult lit author.

Now pushback happens in adult lit, too, like Ava Reid saying her editor or publisher (I forget who) told her that Juniper&Thorn might be too dark. (I've read it. Yes, it's dark, but bad reviews I saw for the book blew it way out of proportion. If you (gen) like lyrical/poetic narration and gothic horror, I highly suggest it).

But it feels like there's more of a push to keep YA books "clean". You can find some outliers, but like the YA I mentioned above, those outliers in YA that push boundaries can get wrapped in controversy and called problematic.

And for whatever reason, some people on booktube say this is a good thing and say "think of the children!"

They will say censorship is bad but then advocate for sanitized YA to be read instead of classics, because the classics are "bad" and "teach bad things" and "should be left in the past". They advocate for censorship without realizing they are advocating for censorship. It's exhausting, and as someone who wants to be published and does enjoy a lot of YA, it makes me feel discouraged. I don't think I'm "pushing boundaries" at all in my writing or saying anything new, but I'm very sure it's not sanitized enough for most publishers, especially if I wanted to try for one of the beg houses in the US.

Tl;dr One of the major problems in this anti-intellectualism is capitalism.

.

[bensolosbluesaber]

I have been rereading TBOSAS and annotating as I go. I'll be adding my favorite thoughts and connections to this post as I read.

Obviously, there will be book and movie spoilers for the entire THG series.

Introduction

The choice of quotes on the opening page is deliberate, of course. But why Frankenstein? Like a LotR fan talking about Viggo Mortensen's broken toe, when discussing Frankenstein, people can't help but comment the classic analysis, "the doctor was the real monster all along." Which raises the question of who in this novel is the doctor and who is the creation? Is it Gaul and Snow, respectively? Gaul, a monster by any standard, creates a monster? Is is the Capitol and the districts, respectively? The Capitol's monstrous game creates monsters in the arena? Both? Neither? Another thing entirely?

Chapters 1-3

First, Avoxes had been around since before the Dark Days. Which makes you wonder what else existed in the pre-Games era and how much of Snow's presidency was just bringing back old evils

Second, grammatically speaking, "humming" is something the garbage trucks, not Avoxes, are doing. Intentional or not on Suzannes part, we are already seeing Snow dehumanizing those he considers less than, even personifying garbage trucks and giving them more human qualities that he gives to actual humans.

My note here is simply that a mayor's daughter plays a significant role in the story of Lucy Gray and Katniss, and of course, Maysilee is the mayor's wife's sister. Unclear what this means, but I don't believe in coincidences in fiction.

Lucy Gray gives off major Peeta energy, and while there is absolutely a place for the Katniss and Lucy Gray comparison, we should also consider the parallels between Peeta and Lucy Gray and then Katniss and Jessup. More on this later.

And finally, the genius of Suzanne Collins' foreshadowing (pg. 39, paperback). Coryo jumps right to this conclusion twice, and that speaks to him being a character who both doesn't trust people and assumes the worst of people.

To be continued...

[thequeenofnightmares]

I’m finally posting my Jurdan FF! I have a little trove of them hidden away, because Holly Black’s writing style is so fantastic and I was sure I couldn’t do it justice. But then I reread HTKOELTHS and I just really wanted to get this piece out into the world for all the Cardan lovers out there.

Enjoy!

—

“It’s absurd, sometimes, the thought that she loves him. He’s grateful, of course, but it feels as though it’s just another of the ridiculous, absurd, dangerous things she does. She wants to fight monsters, and she wants him for a lover, the same boy she fantasized about murdering. She likes nothing easy or safe or sure. Nothing good for her.” HTKOELTHS, pg. 4

“Jude.” Cardan called up to the tree in which I perched. He was not angry, exactly. But he was surely displeased.

“Shh,” I whispered sharply at him. Now was not the time for his disapproval. Not when any more sound from either of us was likely to scare off my target. Cardan just crossed his arms and glowered up at me. I tried not to think of how much I liked that look on his face.

Honestly, I was a little surprised he hadn’t discovered me sooner. I had been up here for an hour already, waiting for the harpy I was hunting to appear. The creature was a mischievous little thing that had been preying on the marketplace for over a fortnight. And, given that I was skilled enough with a bow to be able to handle the problem from a distance with very little risk to myself, I gladly robbed one of our knights of the glory of taking the little pest down.

Cardan, of course, was utterly exasperated at my conveying a plan to capture this newest inconvenience to the crown. ‘A task for which we have knights,’ he’d said. Indeed, it was. But I am no knight. Madoc made sure of that.

No, I am the Queen.

I had to remind myself of that, sometimes. That I had power here, and that I could choose to use it if I wished. And despite Cardan believing otherwise, I would never feel like I didn’t need to earn my place beside him.

Besides, every monster that I hunt down was one less threat that the crown faced. Threats that could hurt me, or hurt Cardan. I may be feared in this land—for my viciousness, my reputation. I may even be disliked for my mortality. But Cardan was positively adored by the Folk, and I would always protect him. Once as his seneschal, now as his wife. As his Queen.

He thinks me brash and unpredictable, that I am doing this because I seek the thrill of it. And, perhaps he is right. But he is also wrong.

I do it because I love Elfhame, and I love him, and they are one and the same now. I know he is clever enough to understand this, but I think sometimes that he chooses not to. I think, sometimes, that be believes he must earn me, too.

He doesn’t. He’s had me entwined around his heart of ice far longer than I’d ever care to admit.

—

Read the rest on AO3!

[aurorawest]

Reading update

Conned by Kim Fielding - 4.25/5 stars

Odder Still by DN Bryn - 3/5 stars

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig - 4/5 stars

Ended up enjoying this one a lot more than I thought I would. Definitely one of those philosophical-books-masquerading-as-fantasy books, but it was well written and the message resonated with me.

A Draught of Ash and Wine by Kristin Jacques - 3.75/5 stars

Draakenwood by Jordan L Hawk - 5/5 stars

This may have been the first in the series that I handed a 5 star rating to. Not that the rest of the series isn't really good, but this one stood out to me as being really REALLY good.

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr - 5/5 stars

Another one that I enjoyed WAY more than I thought I would. I normally don't go for books that do the whole characters-connected-through-time-by-the-same-story trope, but this one was very well done. The characters in the different time periods definitely played to things I love. The fact that it was unexpectedly queer was also such a nice surprise. This book is heavy going, and I wouldn't say it's exactly happy, but it's hopeful. A hyped book that was actually worth the hype.

Blyde and Pearce by Kim Fielding - 3.5/5 stars

Bring Me Home by Annabeth Albert - 3.75/5 stars

Jackdaw by KJ Charles - 5/5 stars

AHHHHHH omg omg. Oh this book. Ripped my heart out and stomped on it, then tenderly mended it. Ben and Jonah are one of the sweetest couples Charles has ever written. Maybe the sweetest? (considering there's a very dubcon-y sex scene at the beginning, this may seem like a strange thing to say, but really). I actually far and away preferred them to the main couple in the original Charm of Magpies trilogy. To be completely honest, I like all the Charm of Magpies World books better than the original trilogy, haha.

The Rest of the Story by Tal Bauer - 4.25/5 stars

Fool Hearts by Emmy Sanders - 3.75/5 stars

Shadows of the Lost by Maxym M Martineau - DNF at pg 60

Actually not a bad book at all, but it was too dependent on the author's previous series, which I didn't have any interest in reading.

The Sun and the Star by Rick Riordan and Mark Oshiro - DNF at pg 26

All the Right Notes by Dominic Lim - 5/5 stars

Lovely, funny book that had lots of music and cooking. It's told in a split time period structure which I thought worked really well.

Witch King by Martha Wells - 5/5 stars

I LOVED this book. I love Kai so so much. He's total blorbo material, so I'm honestly surprised this book isn't bigger on tumblr. The worldbuilding was immaculate, really interesting, and very refreshing in that it was very central Asia inspired. You don't see Fantasy Asian Steppe Cultures very much, so that was really cool. This is another one that is told with a split time period, and Wells did a really good job of tying the events of the past and the present chapters together thematically.

I really really really want a sequel.

And Then He Sang a Lullaby by Ani Kayode Somtochukwu - 4/5 stars

One of the reviews of this book said it had a very didactic ending, which I 100% agree with...but it was very well-written and worth a read. It takes place in Nigeria and is about two gay boys who eventually meet in college. It's not a happy book; don't be fooled by the blurb that makes it sound like a romance.

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley - 5/5 stars (reread)

You guys all know how I feel about Natasha Pulley.

The Master of Samar by Melissa Scott - 3.5/5 stars

Unnatural by Joanna Chambers - 5/5 stars

Fence: Disarmed by Sarah Rees Brennan - 5/5 stars

This book was so cute. Aiden and Harvard both finally pull their heads out of their asses. One of the unexpected joys of these novels is the relationship between Seiji and his father. It's really sweet.

I would fund Sarah Rees Brennan to continue writing Fence novels.

The Archive Undying - 2/5 stars

[azamonvoid]

Bsd chapter 109 spoilers???? Idk, trying to not go insane rn 🤩

Mk so, Sigma.

Starting w Sigma.

He's not dead!! There's no blood in the panels ‼️

Plus, any other time Fyodor has used his ability on others they died instantly!

Sigma asked for

"Every single one of your (Fyodor's) secrets"

and after learning it all thanks to his own ability, he got his answers, but passed out after receiving such amount of information.

Though I'm worried about what kind of information Fyodor received in exchange..

Now. Soukoku...

My biggest delulu moment so far, I'm almost not joking iagdjdh

Kk so, we know now that Chuuya can hear Dazai since he reacted to his taunting/getting provoked and that if he touches him the vampirism would get nullified.

And I might be wrong in this one, cause im no expert nor have experience w guns/getting shot or similar but I think Chuuya was using his ability on the gun/bullets, because I dont think normal bullets would leave a crater that big in a place like Mersmault. (I will never know how to write it-)

"But Dazai's ability would nullify it!"

I think it goes by way too fast for his ability to activate.

Like, we've seen for example in s1 when Akutagawa uses Rashomon on Dazai during the Dungeon scene, Rashomon actually touches him but then gets nullified.

But it's because the ability was still touching him, the bullet, instead, went through him and hit the wall.

But then, what about the bullet that went through his forehead?

Again, no expert lol, but from what I know, a bullet through the forehead is instant death, but Dazai can still talk just a few panels after.

What I think is that he isn't dead yet, but could soon die if not treated soon, afterall, not only he has multiple gunshots, but also has multiple broken bones from his fall in the elevator.

I think Chuuya had some kind of self control and when he pointed at Dazai at point blank range, instead of shifting the gravity of the bullet for it to go faster/stronger (?) , since he was close to Dazai already, I think he made it go at a speed that wouldn't be deadly but still look like he didn't use his ability. (?)

Something similar to what happened in the first light novel.

I haven't actually finished reading Dazai's entrance exam (still at pg 87 ;_;) , but I decided to check a part of it I haven't read yet.

The part were Kunikida shoots Dazai.

I think the context was that Dazai made it look like he was the Azure King and it led to Kunikida shooting him at point blank range, but with the gun he created with his ability.

Kunikida had 2 guns. The one given by the agency and the one he made with his ability.

And he used the later.

After a few moments, when Kunikida learns Dazai was just faking being dead, he asks about the situation and a bit I'm interested on was this

I take the pistol I shot earlier and toss it at Dazai. He catches it, and almost instantly, it transforms back into a piece of notebook paper in his hand. (Pg. 129)

"Almost instantly".

The bullet did hit Dazai, but since this one goes at a normal speed/force, No Longer Human can act on it and nullify the bullet while at the same time having time to make it look real.

Something similar happens in chapter 109. Except Chuuya can alter the speed/force.

If Chuuya had shot the same way he did to Dazai's shoulder, the bullet would've perfored right through his skull and hit the wall like the others. But instead Dazai has the bullet on his forehead.

It wasn't fast enough like the others to not let time NLH to activate.

———

I don't actually know if Im explaining my thought process well or if I'm missing out on stuff, but I'm leaving it like this for now and if I remember smth I'll add it later, cause I've been trying for a while to put all my thoughts together for this but there's always smth that I miss out and by the time I remember it, I have to reread my post to find where to fit it and then, boom, forgot again or dk how to word it :/

[pineapple-cheese-bread]

Rereading the PJO books, I'm at The Titans Cures and just read about one of his powers that seems forgotten.

Percy has infrared vision underwater.

"I should have been blind, too, this deep in the water at night, but I could see the heat from living forms, and the cold of the currents. It's hard to describe." - pg.106 The Titans Cures.

Kind sounds like infrared to me.

I never actually thought much about how he could see underwater but like that's really cool and I would love for it to be mentioned more.

(Also the fact that Percy is often called on to help sea creatures)

[llovelyclouds]

notes on cytherea the first

here's all the information about cytherea that i thought seemed relevant during my tlt reread :-)

sorry for the delay halfway through posting these lol! i started school again and got. distracted

(you can find all the other posts from this project here!)

CYTHEREA THE FIRST

titles:

Seventh saint to ascend, second gen, from the seventh

notes from gideon the ninth:

Briefly wanted to be part of the Ninth when she was young, until she found out about the facepaint (although, she’s pretending to be Dulcie here, so maybe not) (gtn. pg. 105)

Was sending Pro’s body to check-up on the lyctoral labs/her old rooms without her, assumed from Pro saying “it’s shut” upon his return from elsewhere in Canaan house (gtn. pg. 108)

Very likely knew about Gideon's parentage, including Wake being her mother, as she comments "nice hair" after the avulsion trial (gtn. pg. 229)

“Do you know, it’s not worth it… none of this is worth it, at all. It’s cruel. It’s so cruel. You are so young- and vital- and alive. Gideon, you’re all right… remember this, and don’t let anyone do it to you ever again. I’m sorry. We take so much. I’m so sorry.” -Cytherea, to Gideon during the avulsion trial. (gtn. pg. 226)

"I more didn't want to die alone.  I didn't want them to put me out of sight. It's a horrible thing to fall out of sight… The Seventh would have sealed me in a beautiful tomb and not talked about me again. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. So I came here when the Emperor asked me… because I wanted to… even though I knew I came here to die." -Cytherea, to Gideon (gtn. pg. 294)

"If you want to know what I think… I think that you're a cavalier worthy of a lyctor. I want to see that, what you'd become. I wonder if the Reverend Daughter knows what she has in you?" -Cytherea, to Gideon (gtn. pg. 295)

“I didn’t want to do it [lyctorhood] either…I didn’t want to do it at all…but I was dying. Loveday- she was my cavalier- she and I thought it could make me live. Instead I’ve just kept dying, all this time.”- Cytherea, to Palamedes (gtn. pg. 402)

Was planning what happened at Canaan house for 300 years prior (gtn. pg. 402)

notes from harrow the ninth:

“When they first brought her to Canaan House, I thought there'd been some mistake. You know that I'd been to Rhodes, to see the miracle, but I asked not to see the woman- just so I could be a disinterested party- and of course once I saw that she was necromantic I said yes, she should come to me to be a disciple. She was just shy of thirty then, I recall. And I knew she was sick, but I had no idea how bad it was until Loveday brought her in, looking as though she wanted every one of us beaten to death, and she could hardly walk… I went to kiss her hello and she said: ‘Lord, I can’t kiss you back. My lipstick's’ perfect and I refuse to smear it.’”-John, about Cytherea (htn. pg. 119)

The one to say they had the choice to stop (htn. pg. 121)

"'I still think it was a crime of passion. I'm not saying she didn't have other reasons. It's just that I think some of them were heartbreakingly simple. I could have gotten through to her, given time,' said God. 'Time- it's always time- she was overworked and underloved." - John, about Cytherea & Canaan house (htn. pg. 155)

“Everyone liked her. [G1deon] liked her” -John (htn. Pg. 228)

Her favourite conversation to have at parties was debating who had the hottest cavalier (htn. Pg. 278)

Tried to plant a bomb close to the physical form of and RB, didn’t even get close enough to touch the surface, and had herald madness for several weeks (htn. pg. 337)

notes from nona the ninth:

Gave BOE information on obelisks and steles (ntn. pg. 156)

[zenia-7]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

tagged by @mimix007 — the kind and gentle spirit

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19, which may be 14 too many because the AO3 dashboard only lets me see 5 at a time and I miss the others. I actually feel pain when a fic dissappears into “Works (#)” — it has even influenced how I add/edit new works.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

99,519 words

If brevity is the soul of wit, I’m preeeeetty sharp

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Bridgerton and 1 Fellow Travelers drabble

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

King of the Rakes: 723. My first multi-chapter was written unselfconsciously. Then I started thinking and things went downhill from there.

Tryst: 690. Fun ride with Queen Charlotte.

Allow Me This: 611. Me longest fic. Writing 4000 words/chapter was a different beast.

I’m not a man of poetry: 291. Warm feelings for this Carte-Blanche short.

Post-hunt: 289. Yeah! Lusty Anthony! First chapter just flowed. No plan, just type. Thoughts in real time: Cool, he’s into it — that’s hot. Uh oh here comes Benedict! What?! Hilarious.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Oddly, it’s harder finding my “voice” when responding to a comment than when writing a fic. Do I know myself? I don’t take praise well especially. Rereading my replies can be painful, like remembering a flubbed conversation. Despite my deficient responses I love my commenters and I hope they know that ❤️🤧

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In my own fic I cannot abide angsty endings, torture, and stringing things out gratuitously. Life is short.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm. I think King of the Rakes tops my list. Fluffy fluff and family feels, sunshine for the soul.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

If I do it is must be internal. I sometimes imagine readers (especially mutuals) walking away thinking *all the criticisms I can imagine*. I then imagine calling after them: “Please tell me what you’re thinking! Especially if it’s critical! Do you feel what I feel about this — can you tell it was written stilted, not pure? May the stream of creativity flow unhindered for you, my friend!” (I’m such a weirdo)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

At first I inuendoed my way through “PG-13” fics whose central themes were constant sex. Then I asked myself who I was kidding. Then I let it rip but in the end always found the smut laced with plot and love, like enriched sugar.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope. Never been this obsessed with a show before.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Would be interesting to try alternating sentences, like the kid’s game.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

kanthony of course

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I can’t relax with unfinished published WIPs so don’t have any. It’s a blessing and a curse. I do have drafts on my computer but that doesn’t bother me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Taking the “me” out of the equation. I can’t always do it but when I do it’s like riding a wave of light.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Not taking the “me” out of writing. Once “my own ideas” creep in they muddy it up so I have to be careful.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Sure. but I like my works to be accessible

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bridgerton Bridgerton Bridgerton

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

King of the Rakes. Gotta agree with what the kudos say.

@andthebubbles what say you?

[silverskye13]

6, 8, and 29 for the ask game

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

Incarnate Inchoate -- underoriginal (unfinished)

Anything to Hear You (Say It One More Time) -- mgrnn

To Convey A Certain Brilliance -- Bee_4

Devil Town is Colder in the Summertime -- BananasofThorns

Hellfire -- Renwhit

[squints] I think that's every fic I've read more than once lol. I'm a Book Devourer so I normally just read a thing once really quickly and then promptly forget it exists. I Have Brain Like Swiss Cheese. AO3 bookmarks and digital libraries are the only reason I stay sane XD

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

Redstone and Skulk Ch 20: ~ 1300 words, all of them from this week

Monsters Splitting Hairs Ch 28: ~ 2000 words, about 500 of them from this week

Unnamed Superhero AU with OverlordPink: No idea the word count XD less then 1000 I think

Before I Wake (original comic): Pg 27 finished, Pg 29 sketched

I keep a rotation so I don't get bored XD means overall less work on a single project gets done but! Everything gets done eventually.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Nobody asked for this but I have 5 chapters of Nailmaster's Folly [a Hollow Knight fic] I dropped, just done and languishing in my documents. I'm not going to subject you to all 5 of those chapters, but I will make you read the 2 I'm most proud of. So uh, here's a very out of context chunk from Nailmaster's Folly I guess.

Oro was halfway down the canyon when his guilt got the better of him and he stopped in his tracks. His insides were a tangled web, and no amount of grousing and grumbling to himself would soothe the knot it made. It bothered him a great deal, apparently, that Mato was scared of him. 

Was Mato scared of him? No… surely not. It had been years since -- and honestly Mato was so much more capable -- sure Oro was pretty abrasive but he wasn’t--!

Oro shook his head.

Maybe he’d misread. It had been years, years he’d been in his solitude and Mato had been in his. Maybe they were both just so extremely culture-shocked and awkward that he’d read it wrong. Maybe he was just tense because of how suspicious he was, because of how stubbornly he held onto the idea that Mato must be here for some kind of… retribution? But Mato was never the type for things like revenge. He believed in accountability, yes, but not maliciously so. All of this was ridiculous.

And he’d looked so happy cheering him on while watching his fight.

Oro groaned up at the sky.

Maybe, like just about everything else in his life, the problem wasn’t Mato. Maybe the problem was him. After all, Mato had invited him to join him after his fight was over, and Oro had just gone trudging off down the canyon without a second thought. He was always so… antisocial. Maybe if he actually gave Mato a chance…

He’d been living alone for a long time.

Oro sighed. He ran a hand across his mask, then turned and looked up the direction he’d come. He couldn’t see Mato among the cliff faces above, but he knew he was there. Somewhere.

“I hate this, you know,” Oro protested out loud to a nearby boofly, “You know how much easier my life would be if this weren’t my problem?”

Of course the boofly didn’t answer. It just bobbed its head and flittered its tiny wings frantically, its big black eyes looking back at him vacantly. Frustrated, Oro smacked it away with the flat of its nail, sending it spinning further into the canyon. Then, huffing another grumble of a sigh, he turned and began walking back up towards the Colosseum. 

“Mato, Mato, why is it always, always Mato,” Oro griped under his breath as he walked, “At least Sheo understood the basic concept of personal space. He knew how to leave me alone and not do stupid things like… like…! And he’s always so emotional it’s like trying to reason with a scared grub for Wyrmssakes--!”

He ushered to the air around him, as though the ambient noises of wind and hoppers and wings could grant him the validation he was looking for. Of course, none did. But the flurry of movement did attract the attention of a nearby primal aspid as it buzzed threateningly close to the canyon wall. And Oro, so lost in his grumbling, so lost in his slow progression up the paths of the cliffside, didn’t notice it’s presence until it was spitting bright orange in his direction. The flash of color was enough of a warning in his peripheral vision for him to lurch to the side in an attempt to dodge it - only for the scatter of its spray to catch him in the mask. Cursing, Oro staggered to the side, wiping furiously at the acid-like spit with his cloak. His shoulder caught against a nearby wall, and then abruptly Oro felt that wall give way behind him. 

There was an instant where he realized he was going to fall. An instant where he realized there was nothing he could do about it. An instant where he resolved if he didn’t go tumbling down the side of the canyon wall and crush himself against the ground, he was going to come storming back up here and cut the wings off of every aspid he laid his eyes on. And then, Oro promptly tumbled off the ledge he’d been standing on into whatever cavity had opened up in the wall behind him.

He’d expected to fall longer than he did. 

There were two, maybe three seconds where he was free-falling and it was incredibly dark, and his eyes still stung from the aspid spit. And then with a heavy oof! he landed hard on his shoulders on uneven ground, knocking the air out of his chest and leaving him wheezing rather ingloriously on the floor. When he’d managed to start breathing normally again, he felt around for his nail and once he found it, staggered to his feet. Above him, he could hear the echoing buzz of the aspid’s wings as it searched the hole he’d fallen through for any sign of him. As soon as it felt the cooler, wet air of the cavern he’d tumbled down, it turned back the way it’d come, hissing furiously.

“I hope you get eaten alive by something!” Oro shouted after it as it went, “Stupid, angry thing!”

If it heard him, it didn’t turn back to investigate.

With another frustrated sigh, Oro squinted into the gloom to survey his surroundings, finding mostly what he already knew - that it was dark in here. Some pale light filtered in from the hole he’d fallen through, casting the space immediately around him in washed out greys that very quickly faded into oppressive murk. The floor here was made of carapace and chiton, old and stoney. There was a smell of damp age about the place, like the air had been still and undisturbed for a long time, and there was a weight to it, like eyes in the dark. It felt very much like he’d stepped into someone’s grave, or just inside the toothy maw of some ancient carapace. If he weren’t so irritated, Oro might have even had the common sense to be scared here. 

Instead his shell itched and his stomach turned itself in angry knots, and he thought of course of course he would fall through some damp, dark, probably beast-infested pit while walking up to find his brother. Of course this would happen to him right now. It was always Mato wasn’t it? Always the source of his chagrin, even when he wasn’t trying to be. This might as well happen.

After standing still for a few minutes listening to the sound of moisture dripping off the ceiling and the hollow echo of droplets onto the floor, Oro’s eyes managed to adjust enough to pick out another source of light in the darkness. A dim light, so distant that for a moment he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. But no it was there - a curve in the tunnel ahead giving off the subtle hue of an outline. It was hard to tell just how far away it was. His depth perception wasn’t fantastic when he was near blind from darkness and aspid spit. It was hard to stop himself from blinking every few seconds to try and clear the remaining fumes of the acid away. Not that it would help at all.

Oro cast his gaze up the direction he’d fallen. It was a long, sheer stone face to climb. He was sure he could if he gave it enough effort. But it would be hard work, and all in pitch darkness until he was near the very top. And while he could, he definitely didn’t feel like standing at the base and calling for help for however long it might take for a bug to come this direction. He had a match to get to tomorrow, after all. And pride in his belly. So, stepping carefully on the uneven footing, Oro made his way towards the light he’d seen further in the tunnel. 

The sound of his own footsteps echoing in the silence itched at his nerves. He was loud and unwieldy, it seemed, and it made him paranoid that something might hear him coming, or try to ambush him. Swinging a nail in the dark was a dangerous idea. You never knew when you’d hit a wall, or perhaps even yourself, if your swing went too shallow.

When he reached the curve in the tunnel ahead he stopped, taking a moment to survey the slowly brightening light ahead of him. There was some bioluminescence here, sickly looking roots that sprouted in tangled patches from the ceiling, and reached like limp claws towards the horns of his mask. It was barely enough light to see by, and a pale shade-like purple. As Oro took a step down the lit tunnel, there was a soft hiss as the roots seemed to respond to his presence above. For a moment Oro crouched low, nail over his head, expecting the roots to reach for him. Instead he watched as they slowly shriveled and curled towards the ceiling, flattening themselves away from his touch. The light from them dimmed even further but remained.

Tch. Weird. 

Oro straightened again and, eyeing the ceiling suspiciously, continued walking, trying to ignore the creeping noises of moving roots above his head as he went. When he passed by them, the roots slowly unfurled themselves and dropped back down again, a curtain of slowly brightening claws guarding his exit. It was… unsettling... claustrophobic. He didn’t like the idea of walking into something that could sense his presence. 

Further down the tunnel he went, one hand on the wall as if afraid it might suddenly fall in on him, his other hand clutching tight-fisted around the hilt of his nail. It was incredibly still here, the air dead. Unlike the open hole he’d fallen into where noises attempted to echo, the sound in the tunnel ate itself up in the roots over his head, making his every movement seem muffled and abrupt. He checked his progress every handful of steps, making sure his way back hadn’t magically disappeared - and it hadn’t, though it was obscured by those twisting roots. Where in the Wyrm-cursed World was he even heading? Should he turn back? His sense of direction was tangled in the darkness somewhere, caught in the shifting roots over his head. He had no idea where this tunnel was or where it was winding.

There was a murmur… a soft sound on the edge of his hearing. Wait… what was that…?

Oro stopped walking abruptly and breath held, he listened. 

There was… a noise… coming from up the tunnel. Stifled and faint. It didn’t carry well here but he could still hear it; persistent and quiet, wafting toward him like mist. First it came in bits and pieces, but as he continued forward he made it out a bit more. Humming, haunted almost. A song...?

 Was there another bug down here? Maybe there was another opening somewhere then, some outward-leading tunnel he could scramble out of instead of trying to make the climb up the way he’d fallen. That would be grand. Sure, he’d be a bit lost when he got wherever he was going, but that was a problem for later.

“Teeth… and claws….”

“A mind of teeth and claws…”

Oro felt a creeping prickle of nervousness crawl its way up his shell. He didn’t like the sound of that. But he kept walking - he’d gone so far now it didn’t seem worthwhile to give up now. Besides, he was a strong bug with a great nail and enough light that, though it would be tedious, he could at least see a fight if it happened. And fight he would, if it came to it.

“Dreaming Wyrms, a bed of nails…”

“A hunger still beneath us wails…”

Just as he resolved this in his mind, the path before him yawned open into another opening. A cavern, smaller than the first he’d fallen into and tangled across the ceiling with more of those roots. Their thickness made their glow brighter, and some of them even managed to worm their way down from the ceiling and into the ground below, burrowing further into depth incomprehensible. It was probably a trick of his eyes but they seemed almost to pulse, faintly, that sick violet hue.

“A mind of teeth and claws…”

Oro noticed with a flash of horror like a lightning strike that the floor was covered in broken masks. Slashed cleanly in half. One eye broken. The ground beneath a slurry of crushed chitin and whatever moisture it was that dripped from the ceiling. It seemed nearly to be moving, breathing, churning beneath the fragile surface. A phantom of crawling legs shivered beneath Oro’s shell and he stumbled back a step away from the chamber, unable to stifle the choked noise that rose in his throat at the sight of it. In Hollownest there were many floors made of petrified chitin and old discarded masks. Resting grounds. Old battlefields. Place where once the life of the world was thick. This was fresh, moving, alive, grotesque. Wrong.

Crick. Crack. 

“Oh, hello Nailmaster.”

Oro snapped his gaze up from the floor to the center of the room. Standing in a circling of broken masks was the Announcer, seemingly unperturbed by the ground on which it perched, despite the fact that Oro himself could practically hear it’s writhing. The bug’s eyes glinted pale in the dim light, and silhouetted against a background of those burrowing roots, they looked both pitifully small and sinister, like some small weaver who just lured a bug into its tangled web of a lair.

“You may enter,” it said, a smile in its voice, “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Yeah,” Oro muttered, gaze sinking back to the floor, “And beasts don’t bite.”

The Announcer laughed, a thin, frail sound, like it was unused to the sensation. It turned its back to him, and Oro saw now entwined in the roots it stood near was… something. A shape he couldn’t quite make out in the dim light and the distance. Though the glowing roots were thicker here, their light was still low.

He should leave. Being here was… a bad idea. But Oro doesn’t run. Not from enemies. Not from his brother. Not from this.

Tentatively, shell still crawling with shivers and nerves, Oro took a step forward. He expected his foot to sink, for the mask to give under his weight and crack and sink into the slurry of mud and chitin below, but it didn’t. In fact, he couldn’t even feel the ground moving. Emboldened by this just barely, he took another step forward. And another. And another. Until he was standing just behind the Announcer, towering over the diminutive bug and staring down at what it stood before. 

It was… an egg? A large one, nearly as tall as the Announcer, and as high as Oro’s chest. It was hard to tell it’s color when the only light to see by was tinged in the bruised blue-purple of the roots above them. But it was an egg, large and spiked and cracked in half, whatever creature born inside it long gone. Inside the remains of the shell, there was a curling of sickly roots that spiraled about themselves before burrowing into the ground, thick and twisted. 

“Interesting, isn’t it?” the Announcer hummed, “Even here at the edge of the kingdom, Hollow Nest hosts its mysteries.”

“What in the Black Abyss is this place?” Oro asked abruptly, hoping the shortness of his tone sounded more angry than scared.

The Announcer shrugged, “A place of beginnings. A place of hunger.”

It tilted its head in his direction, “A place of nothing, perhaps, if that’s what you want it to be.”

“Well that’s gross and cryptic.”

“You’re doing well in the Colosseum, Nailmaster Oro,” the Announcer said, disregarding his grumbling and turning its gaze back to the massive egg, “The place seems to suit you. You have a powerful spirit, a strong sense of ambition.”

Oro squinted down at the bug and backed up a pace, “There’s a lot of strong bugs entered in the tournament.”

It hummed noncommittally in return, the sound not unlike the voice Oro had heard humming its way towards him down the tunnel, “I suppose. But strength alone doesn’t satiate the Colosseum, does it?”

It looked up at him again, those pale eyes glinting, “I always thought the Colosseum of Fools was an interesting thing. It almost seems alive sometimes. Watched after and hungry. It so loves a crowd, and it loves its Champions and legacies. God Tamer was its favorite for a long time, and it’s quite a shame the one who struck her down refused to stay. I’m sure it would have made an interesting Champion all its own.”

“It’s a Colosseum,” Oro snapped, irritated by how unnerved the conversation was making him feel, “It’s a bunch of bugs in the shell of an even bigger bug hosting a tournament for a prize. It’s not alive.”

“Of course not,” the Announcer chuckled patronizingly, its voice sickly sweet with a grin that didn’t find its way to its pale gaze, “After all, if it had its own voice, surely I wouldn’t be here.”

It turned away from him and finally moved from its spot before the rooted egg, “I do wish you luck, Nailmaster Oro. I did mean what I said about the Colosseum suiting you, sir.”

It stopped at the edge of the room where Oro could barely make out the gaping darkness of a tunnel - probably the entrance the strange bug had used to enter the place. It flashed him one last smile, this time showing those unnerving teeth, “And doesn’t Nailmaster Champion have such a glorious ring?”

Then with another of those curling, whispering laughs, the bug disappeared down the tunnel ahead of it, leaving Oro alone in the dark. With no one to watch him, Oro allowed himself a shudder. 

"This whole place is just a pack of shrieking belflies isn’t it?” he snarled under his breath. A pack of shrieking belflies indeed. All pretty noises and deadly dramatics. Oro shivered one more time and then, grimacing, dropped his gaze to his feet to figure out where best to step next - only to find the ground normal. 

What?

Oro glanced around the room, casting about the floor for any sign of the writhing floor, the broken masks. But… it wasn’t. It was just fossilized chitin, like the floor he’d fallen into when he’d first dropped here. It was all old stone and solid ground and--! And it was all just gone?

Hesitantly, Oro knelt and placed his hand against the floor, and waited. He didn’t know what he waited on exactly. For the floor to shift? To feel the moisture of churning mud where his eyes were clearly seeing none? But… it was just stone. 

“Wyrmssakes,” Oro grumbled one more time, getting back to his feet. He cast a wary glance over to the rooted egg as if it could somehow explain his surroundings. Then, gathering up his courage, he followed down the tunnel he’d seen the Announcer disappear down. He was walking for a handful of moments before a familiar roaring caught his ears. Cheering. And then light, bright and pouring across the tunnel around him. And Oro was suddenly in the pit beneath the Colosseum, blinking dazedly at the resting forms of combatants. Behind him was a solid wall, as though the ground had opened up to spit him out and closed itself behind him.

Shell itching with nervousness, Oro climbed back out of the Colosseum and made his way home. It wasn’t until he was sharpening his nail late in the evening that he realized he’d forgotten his brother.

[elinorwritesstuff]

I haven’t posted in a long time, and today I want to tell you about three of my favorite DMC fanfics:

The Spellbound series by girahimu_sama

Quote from the description: “ A few years after the events of DMC3, a half-transformed Nelo Angelo is summoned from Hell by a dying sorcerer who seeks to extend his lifespan. What follows is a struggle for survival, a contract forged out of desperation, and a journey of mutual understanding.”

These two fics are just so good. It’s an AU in which V is a witch, and not related to Vergil, but the author does an amazing job of creating an alternate story for V that allows him to retain what makes him essentially V. The first fic is a cozy/angsty story of Vergil beginning to heal, both mentally and physically, in a cottage in the woods, with a slightly thirsty witch!V to help him. The second fic is epic, and made me cry several times. It’s about half wonderful cuteness as V, Vergil, and Dante try to raise a baby Nero, and half epic fight against Mundus with some really heartbreaking twists and turns. You should read it even if Vergil/V isn’t your ship, like seriously, the author Makes It Work.

Carrion Flowers by devilsalwayscry

This is the “Dante and Vergil kick Mundus’ ass once and for all” fic we all deserve. It’s got great battles with some cool OC demons as well as Mundus, a journey of understanding between two brothers who have just discovered they can hang out without killing each other, and a wonderful and intense portrayal of PTSD that as a person with PTSD I certify as Very Real And Good.

I’m not really a Dante/Vergil person, but I end up reading Dante/Vergil fics because I am a huge Dante & Vergil person; I want to hear about the intense and unique relationship between these two brother who have been separated for such a long time, and the unique and intimate connection of not only being twins but being the only ones of their kind in the world. And I get that out of d/v fics and I don’t mind the sex (this one is PG-13 anyway).

Illuminated Manuscript by jettiebettie

Quote from the notes: “You ever just wanna write about recovering church boy Nero coming to terms with how much he wants to bang the personification of his father's humanity and accidentally end up writing a poor man's horny DMC6? “

This is the fic that converted me to shipping Nero/V. The chemistry between them is just so good as just so kinda hilarious, an “opposite attract” situation very different than the Nero/Kyrie opposites attract situation (which I also love). I love that the author gets that “rebellious” as Nero is, he was still raised as a pretty sheltered church boy. My favorite thing about the fic is the really cool and well-realized OC demons. They’re just So Cool, and I wish I had thought of them. And I’m really glad that Kyrie remains in the fic as a friend; so many ships like these just disappear the Canon Female Love Interest. They also come up with an interesting and believable supernatural work-around to allow V to continue existing.

I feel like I haven’t done the fic justice with this description. Just know that it’s probably my most-reread fic in the fandom.