#before i spill myself

[pencap]

the coward's way out

if the fates conspire that only one of us may live, then lover, it must be you.

i will save you the grand speeches about how you are good and deserving. you are. you are. you are, but in the end, that is not the reason why.

the world may call me brave or strong or selfless but lover, you know the truth don't you?

in the end, i am only more afraid of facing a world without you than i am of facing death of facing anything.

in the end, i am only too weak to be the one left behind to pick up the pieces of a broken life a broken promise a broken heart and keep on bleeding when the blood in your heart is already dry.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry. but will you let me be selfish one last time?

can i ask you to live for me? to face what i feared most so that i might find peace in my eternal sleep with a smile upon my face?

if it is cruel of me to ask, then i beg you to forgive me. or curse my name and hate me if you must, only live.

only live, my lover so that my life and my death and all that came in between may mean something. may mean everything.

[babytoothbrain]

I am the Same Person I was in August

"Oom Sha La La", Haley Heynderickx//"All That Wanting, Right?", Devin Kelly// "Funeral" Phoebe Bridgers//"Extracting the Stone of Madness", Alejandra Pizarnik// "Little Beast", Richard Siken// all photos are mine! Photography on @el3ctraaa

[nangua]

@nosebleedclub march prompts: viscera !

[tamagotchikgs]

i was coming up the stairs and i hit my knee so hard i passed out

[cynosurus]

wwx's step-by-step guide to

How to Get Your Man (Woman/Ziji/etc)

argue with them

spill on yourself

stare

...to be continued when I've had time to think more

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

[hersurvival]

Once again,

I find myself unable

To stop my thoughts from reeling,

To relax enough to fall asleep

Because she wonders if I have stopped burning,

Her gut says I have stopped caring

And I am disappointed in myself

To have ever let her come to this conclusion,

To have left any room for doubt

[bewilderedbunny]

Hi friends

[ggeneralgrunt]

ON UNJUSTIFIED WORSHIP

how can you praise a god

when the ground on which you worship him

is dirtied with the crimson remnants of gorged guts

and is reeking with the pungence of blood's metallic tang?

the shame suffocates me while it all lay clear to you.

[darlin-collins]

when you realize that the shirt you use as a towel to dry your hair is a SHIRT: 😮😮

[chibi-scone]

It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Oh em gee :,( ari :,( thank you for yapping at me…………. My brain juices started flowing…….. I knew all I needed was some of your ideas…,,, and the little hamsters in my brain started running around again!!!!!!!!!!! Ik u said don’t feel bad for sending asks but…. I feel a little guilty sending another one….. but the brain hamsters started working and I can’t deprive them of spreading their little hamster ideas 😔😔 BUT ALSO??? I NEED TO TALK ABT HOW U REPLIED TO MY PREV ASK. THEM TALKING WHEN UR SLEEPING??? AND MAYBE?? YOU SECRETLY HEARING??? IM GOING INSANEEEEEEE IM LITERALLY DISINTEGRATING AS WE SPEAK :((( satoru wanting to confess bc he doesn’t want u sad over ur ex……… sugu convincing him they shouldn’t rush u…….. :( sobs… they r so special to me. imagine what would happen if u just sat up in the middle of them talking like “🤨🤨I heard all of that btw.” but like. What do you think they’d do if your ex did try getting back together with you? Either that or just trying to get back into contact ……. Just an idea :3 giggles…. N E WAYS I HOPE UR HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY SLASH NIGHT!!! MWUA MWUA TAKE CARE AND DRINK UR WATER !!!! ^_^ — stsg anon 💐 < with bouquet. For u!!! :3

STSG ANON !!!!!! i’m telling you our brains are synced…… every time ur brain juices flow mine do too……… i’m so happy your little brain hamsters r running around 🐹🐹🐹

okok first of all ….. NEVERRRRR feel guilty for sending me asks 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 never ever ever!!!! i love them so much!!!!! even if i’m slow at replying sometimes i promise i read them instantly and they always feed me so good!!!!!!! i should literally be paying you for these that’s how much i love them. if i catch u feeling guilty again there Will be consequences so watch out …. (ominous)…..

BUTTTT ok :3 YES . THE STSG IDEAS. i’m so happy you liked my little brainworms phdkdjj i just!!!! think it’s a tasty concept!!!!!! and PLSSS reader just sitting up and calling them out 😭😭 i KNOW they’d scream . even sugu does a little squeak bc he was so convinced you were asleep…… but goddd i think they’d actually be a little flustered <//3 our babies. once they recover satoru would be so smug tho. bc now you finally know!!! he doesn’t have to wait!!!!! and sugu is obv very happy too….

but… gahhh…… STSG ANON ………. if your ex tried getting back with you………….. ohhhh gosh. they’d be very offended . on your behalf . in a ”can you believe the audacity” way ….. but ofc they’d also be very furious and protective . like. maybe you tell them that your ex texted you wanting to meet up and they’re both INSTANTLY on guard…. ideally you’d block them ofc but if you insist on meeting them just for the sake of closure then they’re immediately convincing you to let them go with you!!!!! for scary dog priviliege . i’ll be honest i don’t think there’s much your ex could do 😭😭 bc stsg WILL be glaring at them. behind you. and if they even try to lovebomb you or blame you in any way they’re . Stopping Them . in one way or another. i think they get very very scary LMAO sugu stops smiling entirely and satoru smiles in a distinctly furious way 😭😭 ..

but ohhhh ……. if . you were the one who wanted to get back with them ….. then i think stsg would feel so helpless :’3 bc like . they can’t control you. they don’t want to. but i also think they’d rather die than have to watch you be with someone so undeserving…… so i feel like That’s when they’d confess. bc they’re so desperate . and let’s be honest who would choose a cheating ex over stsg????? no one <33333 problem solved. they’d be really terrified though…..

MWAHHHH one big kiss for you my lovely little stsg anon <33333 i’m putting the bouquet in a big beautiful vase <33333333 here r some handpicked flowers just for you :33 🌷🪻🌻🌷🪻🌻 i hope you’re taking good care of yourself too!!!! eating and drinking and sleeping lots . it’s what me and stsg want for you!!!!!! thank you as always for the food i hope u know how much i adore you <333

[fluffypotatey]

I like that fic a lot not only cause it's my ship, but because I've never seen that hanahaki type before. Usually the feelings are mutual, and it could be solved by communication (or the person just dies rip). Never seen hanahaki where it's factually right and not just based on what the victim thinks

yeah those are rare ones. mostly, i think, because people like a happy ending (and i am no different tbh), but those are the original concepts of what Hanahali represented: a love one-sided and fatal not just to your emotional wellbeing but your own life as a whole.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

illustrations for the insanely beautiful (or beatufully insane? idk) fic by @mwwktn !!! GO AND READ IT

some scenes may not literally correspond to the text btw once again, thank you so much for writing & sharing this fic, im eating it so hard😭🙏 link to the fic

[anelegaicmind]

The Lover's Perusal

I collect seashells as I collect scars. It isn’t like I’m overly careless, Years spent tirelessly turning Shell over lustered shell, tossing each Into those soft caressing waves.

I watch them wash over the ground, Spreading out like a million hands Carved beautifully out of marble. The shells never stay in one place and I am too picky to let my eyes linger too long.

I wash over each shell, swiftly Moving on. I do not disturb; nor Do I wish to stay as the floating ash From some nearby fire flutters Like a million wings before my salty eyes.

I see a word form on each piece. My eyes scurry from page to page, hoping to find the truth For my soul that still, after all, wishes To hold a single shell to its ear.

If I wait. I can wait and let myself be washed Under each wave, caressing and gentle. Sweep me up and turn me over, Place me down on my knees And my face on the ground.

A single shell presses hard Against my skull, against my mind: Still steadily pressing inward. I am afraid It will break me. I am afraid it will take me. I do not fear such a change.

[bocceclub]

starting my new job in less than 2 weeks and the anxiety is kicking into high gear. what if they fire me on the first day