#being a writer and having adhd is my personal hell.

[jluver]

i wish my brain would stop coming up with smau ideas all the time bc i CANNOT WRITE ANY OF THEM AND NOW I HAVE 100 DRAFTS ON THIS STUPID APP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[olderthannetfic]

My two cents about the F/F and M/M thing:  In my small fandom, I'm the most active writer. I have vastly more M/M because both my OTPs are M/M but I'm also the person who's written 90% of the main F/F ship. I don't even get any feedback on that, I just hope it will be there for someone to appreciate when they get into the canon and ship, even if it's years later. And lemme tell you, few things are more of a creative buzzkill than the F/F fic I write not being appreciated because I'm not """"meeting quota""""". Hell, few things are more of a creative buzzkill than being expected to meet quota, in any context, for any ship or kink. "Hm I've been writing too much whump I should branch out and finish my serious Gen fics" no, bad me, this way lies the death of fun ID-driven writing.

On a different note, writing this out also made me realize that while the above canon has an equal proportion of men and women who on the surface look rich and interesting, it suffers from that classic problem of "Women are written to be aspirational and only men are allowed to be interesting disasters". The character who suffers from depression and alcoholism in this canon is a man. The character who is described as a sociopath, and also has a schtick that functions as an interesting trans allegory, is a man. The character who is described as dead inside and obviously has PTSD is a man. The character who is extremely high-functioning ADHD or autism-coded is, you guessed it, a man. The female character who comes closest to being ADHD-coded is a cloudcuckoolander cinnamon roll type whom I do not find anywhere near as relatable because I am not that type.

There are many reasons I have more fun writing M/M, all of which have already been brought up by other anons, but at the bottom of the well it's pure ID and who I click with and who of the rest of the cast I feel they would click with. I'm very predictable in who I click with; looking at past blorbos, I absolutely have a "type". And if people want me to imprint like a duckling on a female neurodivergent high-masking disaster intellectual for a change, they should stop giving that personality type exclusively to men.

--

[bluedalahorse]

I think I’ll say this once, since I need to say it before I can move on to more excited posting about promos and things:

Obviously Young Royals means a lot to me. It’s become another way for me to connect with my hyphenated-American heritage and to start teaching myself Swedish again. It helped me survive a pretty brutal year of bullying at work. It made me confident enough to start the process of getting formally evaluated for autism and ADHD. I’ve been writing a 200k+ historical AU fanfic for YR—the kind of fic I always read and adored back in fandoms when I was younger, the kind of fic I wanted to write myself. I’m proud of the way that Heart and Homeland has made me a better writer, and I’m glad for the way it’s deepened my friendship with @heliza24. It is Young Royals in part that inspired by thesis on restorative justice in YA literature. When I was in the hospital last fall because I almost had a literal stroke from stress, I was comforted and kept calm by the fact that I was wearing a YR t-shirt and had a plush doll of a YR character sitting in my lap. And all of that is the short list.

As we come close to the release date, I hope that every single member of the fandom gets something they enjoy in the new season. I don’t think every person is going to get everything they want, but I genuinely hope there’s a moment, a scene, a line that brings them joy. We’ve all stuck with this series for a while, and I want us all to have something we can take with us. A little bit of sparkle for the road, if you will.

There’s of course the possibility that some of us get a lot of what we want, and others of us are let down. I know this was the case for season 2, and it feels naive to imagine that everyone in the fandom will be equally satisfied by season 3. I’ve got my fingers crossed that I’ll enjoy the hell out of it, but I’m also trying to prepare my heart in case it’s not what I wanted. I’m trying to gently talk to myself right now and say that even if the third season leaves me upset and unsatisfied—even if the writing takes a nosedive or it’s good writing but it’s just not what I wanted—that I still learned a lot about crafting stories and being myself and surviving hardship and thinking about systems and whatever else, from this show. That my experience with the first two seasons still matters, that my work on my fic is something to be proud of. If season 3 is a disappointment, Heart and Homeland will be my new canon. I’m sure there are other people out there talking themselves up in this way too. I know we’re all pushing through the pre-season jitters.

The other thing I’m trying to reconcile right now is how I feel about the promotional material that’s come out, and the conversations around that. Like on my own, I actually feel pretty great? It’s fun to see the new stuff come in? But then I think about the ratio of Wilmon to other things and some of the responses I’m seeing to that. And I see people say like “oh the show is back to focusing on what’s actually good about it” and “it’s great that they’re doing this because the audience doesn’t really care about characters who aren’t Wilmon.” And… hello? Aren’t I the audience? Tumblr isn’t too bad (most of the time) but then there’s like, Instagram, where the Netflix Nordic posted whole set of photos of different pairs and friendships from a whole bunch of shows, and there was one (1) picture of Sara and Rousseau and I saw enough comments where people were like “ew! Vomit! Give us Wilmon instead!” that like… y’all. Frida Argento is a human being and a damn good actress, and Lisa is a good writer of female characters, and like. We can celebrate that, once in a while. We can create space for her too. It’s not Frida OR Omar and Edvin. It’s Frida AND Omar AND Edvin AND Nikita AND Malte AND Nathalie AND Mimmi AND Fabian AND Samuel AND… look I could keep on listing but I’m going to get distracted if I do.

Like, man. I love Wilmon. Don’t get me wrong. I love the complexity their relationship can run with. There are lines heliza has written for them in fic that make me swoon and I am giddy about the part where I get to read them first. I love the glowsticks. I love Wilmon’s sense of humor and the part where they cheated at Vincent’s rowing race thing and their utmost commitment to being dumbass teenage boys against the world. The first week I saw the show and came into work (where we have an athletic field) I went and took a selfie on the field after covering my hands in those gross fake dots. Look. I am all in.

And also… I came to the show for Wilmon but I stayed for so much more. I would have watched Young Royals once or twice and said “that was pleasant” without ever getting back into fanfic after a decade away, if the show was only Wilmon. I do like Wilmon, but it wasn’t Wilmon who inspired my thesis on restorative justice or made me a better writer overall. I survived that year of bullying at work because I could come home and write my ensemble fanfic, especially the parts where I focused on the non-Wilmon pairing I was in charge of writing. I finally felt confident enough to be evaluated for AuDHD because of a connection I felt to a character who wasn’t Simon or Wilhelm. It was a plush doll of a non-Wilmon character who sat in my lap and kept me calm while I was hooked up to those scary machines in the hospital this past October.

I guess my one humble request is that people be thoughtful about how they use phrases like “everyone thinks” or “no one wants.” Not every member of the fandom has the same opinion, and not every member wants the same things out of season 3, and there are some of us who are happy about the new Wilmon content but who are still feeling a little hungry for more of our most beloved characters, and hope they’ll get meaningful storylines (and not get ignored) in season 3. I do know we probably won’t all get what we want, and that some of us will probably get more of what we want than others. I hope that whatever happens, we’ll all get something we want, and we can all be gracious about it, and continue to find meaning in the canon.

For the people here on tumblr who are already including me in their everyone… thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope you know who you are and I hope you know how much I appreciate you. And I do hope this Little Fandom That Could can keep going into all sorts of new creative places.

[concerningwolves]

Hey! Do you have any tips for breaking writers block when you're adhd and/or autistic? Be it your own tips or a link to another post? My friend and I need help haha

Ahh sorry you got buried under spam and old ask game asks. (I... really need to sort my ask box >.<' ). But here we go, a month late, and hopefully better late than never:

Quick ideas for beating writer's block when autistic and/or ADHD

I've got this old post I wrote on writer's block and focus troubles. Ironically, this was before my autism diagnosis but the tips still happen to be things I, an autistic person, did to manage writing when faced with executive dysfunction (except I didn't know what executive dysfunction was at that point lol). I'm linking this with one important caveat, though: if you have ADHD, "stepping away" might do more harm than good; struggling to start tasks is a Big Thing with ADHD, so not starting the task at all is entirely counterproductive. (Unless you're in burnout! Here's a post about the differences between block and burnout with some ideas on what to do for each, in case that's at all helpful to you).

And here's something yoinked from another old ask-answer:

sometimes a break from more “serious” writing is what you need. Maybe try and take the characters from your main project and drop them somewhere else for the hell of it. I like to throw my characters into the MCU without warning like “lmao have fun in a strange modern world where there are gods and a guy in an iron flying suit bye.” Or, if fandom cross-overs aren’t your thing, find a writing prompt or take an idea you like and use it to form a short story with your characters instead.

Some other ideas I've seen around for writer's block with ADHD/Autism are:

Try voice recording or text to speech (i.e., absolute stream-of-consciousness unfiltered brain-to-mouth, giving yourself permission to 100% bullshit if you like, and see what rattles loose in the brain box)

Stream of consciousness writing in general, not even necessarily about a particular prompt or particular project. This one can be done in combination with:

Writing sprints! One minute timers, two minute timers, five minutes – set it for as long as you want, but when you're fighting executive dysfunction and/or difficulty focusing, the burst of urgency that comes from a shorter timer is very helpful.

And speaking of the sense of urgency: gamify your writing! There are different ways to do this, with varying elements of risk. I'll link some ways to do this at the end under "resources".

Exercise. I don't necessarily mean hitting the gym, but a quick burst of exercise prior to writing to get the heart rate up can help wake your brain up a bit. (Or, if you find repetitive exercise mind-numbingly boring like I do, the writing sure does start to look appealing lol).

Meditation. Okay, this one is sort of 🤔 for me, because I do often hear from fellow autistics and our ADHD cousins that meditation is literally impossible for us. It is for me. But! Like with exercise above, if meditation bores you instead of helping relax and ""clear your mind"", you can probably use that boredom to your advantage. Or, it might work as intended.

Change your workspace/situation/routine. Sometimes the problem is that you need new sensory input, or that your brain has gotten thoroughly bored and decided not to tell you. Use a different chair. Move to the kitchen table. Write at a different time of day. Have a different snack (or try having a snack while writing...). Basically, look at what you're currently trying, and see how you can do it differently.

It's also really good practise to get comfortable with Being Bad At Writing. Perfectionism and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria are the biggest, meanest brain weasels with the sharpest teeth. Don't let them bully you. It sucks. It takes a lot of time and effort and internal work, which is why I was loathe to include this on a post of quick solutions, but. It is important.

And getting comfortable with this doesn't necessarily mean learning how to accept critique, or accepting that sometimes you'll write things that suck. It means accepting that sometimes you won't handle critique or feedback well, and also accepting that you won't always manage to beat the writer's block or be productive. Sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you're going to feel horrible, feel your feelings, and try to remind yourself on the other side that none of it means you're a talentless hack.

Resources

Anything with a 🪙 next to it is paid only (I've tried to limit these and find alternatives).

The resources are split into things that "gameify" writing (i.e., hack your dopamine/serotonin in ways that reaaaaallly help autistic and ADHD folks), writing programs that are designed to help you focus, writing programs that track your habits and appeal to the "ohhhh numbers going up" brain, focus-aiding apps, and some miscellaneous stuff. Under the cut to save your dashes.

"Gamifying" your writing:

The Most Dangerous Writing App – You can't stop typing before your set timer runs out, or you risk losing your work. Excellent for warming up, stream-of-consciousness, or if you're feeling reckless, working on your actual project. I did a lot of the second draft of When Dealing with Wolves on this thing (it was terrifying yet highly effective).

Written? Kitten! – Get rewarded for meeting your set writing wordcount with kitten pictures. Haven't used this one personally, but heard wonderful things about it.

4TheWords 🪙 – This one gamifies writing in the most literal sense. As in, it's an online game where you defeat monsters, explore and level up by writing words. I did the free trial a couple years back, and I've heard there are a lot of different ways you can lower the subscription cost. The only reason I haven't gone back to it is because I feel like I can't justify spending money on it when I'm doing fine with Scrivener and free resources, but maybe one day I will purely for the fun factor...

StimuWrite – similar idea to Written Kitten; the app provides visual/audio stimulation while you write, which is great for many ADHD-ers and autistics. There's a progress bar, soundscape options, typing effects and emoji reactions as rewards, among other features.

Write or Die – This is The Most Dangerous Writing App meets Written Kitten. As far as I can figure out, the basic web version is free to use; you can set the parameters like how how long you want to write for, how many words to reach, and whether you want rewards for meeting goals or punishments for failing to meet them. There's also a stimulus mode, where the nice auditory stimulus goes away if you stop writing.

Minimalist/Focus writing programs:

Focus Writer [Windows] – thoroughly stripped-down minimalist word processor. As far as I know, it has basic functions like find-replace, but mostly it's designed only for writing. Not for formatting, spellchecking or editing.

iA Writer 🪙 [iOS] – Similar to Focus Writer, it's designed to fill your screen with a simple workspace. Allows you to use markdown formatting, and has a feature called Focus Mode that blurs out everything except the sentence you're typing. (If I could find a Windows-friendly alternative to this with that same feature I would be so happy). A cheaper alternative is 1Writer, but that doesn't have the focus mode.

Typewrite Something – Absolutely bare minimum web-based typewriter simulator. Basically just a blank screen that you start typing on, and the words appear in a typewriter font. Great for stream-of-consciousness without the risk level of TMDWA because you can't backspace. If you don't like the clacky sound, turn off your volume.

Focus Apps

Cold Turkey – Block applications and websites on your laptop/computer for a specified period of time. You can even block the entire internet.

Forest – Similar to Cold Turkey in that it stops you from seeking distractions or getting distracted. Set a timer and the app starts growing a tree. If you leave the app, the tree dies. Once you have a tree, you add it to your forest.

Habit-building writing programs:

Novlr – Simple, minimal layout, and tracks your writing goals per month and day, and your daily streak. There are more features in the plus and pro versions, and you can only have five projects in the free version, but otherwise it looks like a good free alternative to the next two programs:

750 Words 🪙 – Made for free writing, but also very useful for drafting. I had it for a month or so a while back on the free trial. It tracks writing streaks and gives you fun graphs and statistics at the end of each session, including number of distractions, actual typing time vs total time and average words per minute. Also, it analyses the mood of what you wrote, which I always found delightful.

Writing Analytics 🪙 – If writing streaks, badges and analytical graphs get your dopamine going, then I really recommend this one. The writing screen itself is very minimalistic, but it still shows your writing speed (I loved watching that go up) and your goal progress. In terms of analytics, it tracks a LOT of different things, including time spent writing vs revising, average wordcounts per day/month/year, and words written vs words deleted. I used this for about a year before I switched to Scrivener, and the switch was purely because I needed something that wasn't subscription-based. (Apparently since I stopped using it there's also a new feature that lets you create private writing rooms and see other writer's progress).

Misc.

WriteTrack – Not a word processor, but it has very good tools for tracking and planning your writing. Again, if graphs going up helps your brain, this is excellent, but you can't see it in real time.

10 ADHD-friendly brain tricks for writers – what it says on the tin: ten tips for writers with ADHD; I'm particularly fond of "Put away one knife", which breaks the nebulous task of "start writing" into something really simple like just... pull out your desk chair.

[serendipititties]

my mutuals and why they are superior:

@hyperfixatingdumdum - we're related so im biased but i mean. Shes studying medicine. She paints. She sings. Shes bi. Shes might or might not be cis. She takes meds for ADHD. She has that broken girl swag. She has it all. Shes pretty too and ladies she is hella single.

@luvrli - has the nicest sounding voice ever. She paints too so thats sick. Plus she, @hyperfixatingdumdum and I have that telugu bi girl swag and thats always amazing to have. Probably good in school too. Also was my first ever mutual when i joined tumblr! Love her

@deadaldipshit-jpg - she writes AND draws. Shes aroace and tamil. Coolness needs to observe them and take notes.

@pollywantsacracker - so iconic. Serves cunt like its free. Funny, brave, gorgeous, and awesome. She is so strong. She is the moment. Also pansexual so thats punk as hell.

@imslowlydisintegrating - he possesses a gender so confounding I couldnt do it justice if i tried. Shes so so so sweet. Has incredible taste. Is from louisiana and probably has an accent which is sooooo cool of them. Shes neurodivergent and a writer?? Writes poc characters and tries to do them justice?? Perfection.

@drew-dopamine - aroace trans boy. Need i say more? (Helps that hes funny and really nice too). Love him endlessly.

@beomgyutruther - she and I are studying for the same exam right now sooo. But yeah shes indian and queer and amazing and all that is good in this lonely world.

@katyakazanovas - so pretty. I mean shes a lovely person too probably but i got distracted for a second. And shes a fan of ghost so thats cool. Plus shes texan? And pansexual? Incredible is an understatement. Great taste in music 19/10.

@bassguitarinablackt-shirt - I have to be honest, he's blonde so there really isnt much i can defend here. He makes up for it by being a trans he/they gay boy though! Plus he writes! Awesome. Hes super sweet too.

@bil-daddy - Nuff said. (Really nice tho i did message them and they were super sweet)

@docdust- hilarious and lovable. We havent interacted much but i love this blog.

@70snasagay - i mean theyre hungarian so thats already cool. But theyre bi too? And adorable?? And a good omens girly?? I fear im in love.

@lordcatwich - genderfluid neurodivergent writer. How could you top this? (Super sweet and funny too. 19/10)

@funkyratman - came into my dms offering to fight me for the name wren. Common he/him W in my opinion. We're gonna be highway robbers together now.

@purichana that url is the url of one who fought tooth and nail for it. I respect the hustle and the vibes are quite good.

@lbctal us goggins stans must stand together I love that man and I love this user.

@goheehawsomewhereelse Tim Gutterson fans are the funniest people in the world (still can't decide if Tim is blonde or nah)

@atomicradiogirl the entire grunge cowboy aesthetic on her blog? So. Damn. Cool. Also my only loki moot till now so yay!

@starryeyeddarlings some of my moots will remember that i had a heart attack when i realised (far too late) that she deactivated and boyyy i was forlorn lemme tell you. Love her so much none of you deserve her.

@wren-phoenix the second (2nd) wren in my little circle of moots. I'm hunting the rest as we speak. Love u wrennie

also. @cheezbot. Hilarious.

Edit: i found out pollywantacracker (mint-mayonnaise rn) is lesbian now so thats awesome. The lesbians are lucky to have her

[hot-take-tournament]

note: this take actually adresses some sensitive topics, including some that i didn't know how to tag, but may require content warnings - so just be careful

also, i had to post this early because for some reason tumblr kept deleting this specific post every time it was queued or saved as a draft

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

TOURNAMENT OVERTIME #182

Submission 527

the Barbie movie (2023) was horrible

[SUBMITTED JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT - PLEASE READ]

Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

Submitted justification:

unfortunately this is a dead serious take of mine. that movie was a story of a horrible tragedy portrayed as justice. and the subtle violent radfem undertones were deeply uncomfortable. my reasons for disliking it are very complicated and personal, so I'm going to try and keep this brief and try to avoid saying anything too charged.

i understand liking it— it was a very fun movie! the way they did the practical effects and props and setting were all genius and very cool!

but.. the way they handled Ken and his struggles felt extremely minimizing, cruel, and violent. I've *been* the reject kid before. I *know* what that's like. I've been humiliated and degraded before for being too much, for having ADHD, for being autistic, for wanting to be included in friend groups that didn't want me.

ken's story is a *tragedy* of a person who dared to ask for love and inclusion, who dared to ask over and over until the only option left to him was to be made into a villain for it. and instead of realizing that maybe, just maybe, this was a cry for help... that maybe, this was the last straw in a long long long line of instances of horribly cruel social bullying and humiliation.... that maybe Ken never wanted to hurt anyone, that maybe he just wanted everyone to see how much he was hurting, that maybe he never wanted power or violence, but empathy instead.... instead of considering any of at, the movie has Barbie and her friends *laugh* at his suffering, and watch him on the brink of tears with the grim satisfaction of a bully that got away with it.

i came away from this movie thinking, what should Ken have done better to avoid this? what could he have done to be truly accepted? what was the "good" choice, if what he actually chose was actually so evil?

and the answer is, nothing. he was spending his entire life serving and worshipping a group that wanted him quiet, polite, and dead. from personal experience, this is the kind of friend group that would probably find it at best a personal irritant, if he had attempted suicide.

this movie was so hurtful. it really felt like they said "people like you are better off dead or behaving like perfect mindless dolls, because when you try to get what you want, you just bother the people around you." conform or else.

i know people get icky when people claim that misandry exists, but.... consider the plot of this same movie, if ken had been one of barbie's girl friends. or if ken had been a trans girl. or hell, even a trans girl egg. i just see people only praising this movie and... no one seems to acknowledge how unnecessarily, brutally cruel they were to Ken, and how little empathy he received both from the general audience and from the writers and Barbie herself.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week's writer's spotlight feature is: @rindecision! With forty-two works on Ao3 in the Stranger Things fandom, they've written thirty-one (!) works with the Steddie ship tag!

Nominated by @skjachukson, they recommend the following works by rindecision:

You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid

Nectar

Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire

From Hell and Back

Rindecision has been a great friend throughout the Steddie holiday exchange, and their writing is just so fantastic. - @skjachukson

Below the cut, @rindecision answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

It started when my partner asked me to. I’ve always loved writing, but I never got into fanfics until they asked me to write a specific type of story that led to the creation of The Devil of Hawkins. From there it was a slippery slope!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Due to ADHD and the corresponding comprehension issues, I rarely read. Not just fics, but anything really. Although, I do personally enjoy whatever the sneaking around trope is. The characters being intimate in places or situations where they shouldn’t be.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

So far I’ve found that I enjoy FWB to Lovers with Steddie. Most of my fics tend to revolve around that.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m currently enjoying ‘I Think I Could Have Been Someone’ by @madaboutmunson

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’m new to fandoms so honestly I don’t really know a lot of tropes by name, but I have a long list of fics I want to write at some point. I have a ‘Through The Ages’ Steddie series in mind that I hope to do at some point. 

What is your writing process like?

Harrowing. It’s honestly pretty complex as I’m using writing fanfics as a means to improve as a writer in general so I can be more confident when I get around to my originals. But the short version is: Rough Draft -> Proof Read 1 -> Beta Proof -> Proof Read 2 -> Grammar Edit -> Text-To-Speech Edit -> Final Beta Proof.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Probably, lol. I try to keep my writing concise and leave little up to the imagination. The partner that requested I write fanfics has aphantasia (lack of imagination) and they read everything I write, so I want them to be able to enjoy it just as much as anyone else. 

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’m kind of chaotic on this one. It depends on the fic to be honest. So far, I’ve found I prefer posting ongoing fics without a schedule that I just post a chapter on as soon as I’m done editing it, whenever that happens to be. Other than the ‘You Know Where to Find Me’ series, the only fics I’ve posted on a schedule have been event fics and it’s been a bit more stressful than I expected it to be.

Which fic are you most proud of?

That would have to be my ‘You Know Where to Find Me’ series. Particularly the first one: ‘Valentines ‘85’ 

How did you get the idea for You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid?

I needed something powerful between ‘Independence Day’ and ‘First Day of School’ but couldn’t think of anything that would work. @stardust-walker helped me work out the details. That entry genuinely wouldn’t exist without their help. 

When writing Nectar, what was something you didn’t expect?

Managing to stay under the 20k word limit. 😅 

What inspired Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire?

A Twitter post about mechanic Steve in cut-off shorts.

What was your favorite part to write from From Hell and Back?

That’s a hard one. I don’t think I have a singular part that I liked the most, but I really enjoyed being able to explore the logistics and lore around Eddie being a shapeshifting demon. In and out of Steve’s bedroom.

How do/did you feel writing Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire?

I was surprised by the reception it got, and I can’t wait to get back to writing it as soon as I’m done with the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang

What was the most difficult part of writing You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid?

The time limit. I had 2 weeks to write and edit nearly 30k words. It made me hit burnout HARD, but I got it back pretty quickly.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I think that would have to be the first kiss in The Devil of Hawkins. It was also the first Steddie kiss I ever wrote. 🤍

“You aren’t stopping me, Harrington.” Eddie’s lips barely grazed over Steve’s as he spoke. “I know,” Steve squeaked. The feeling of Steve’s lips plucking his like a guitar pick was more than he could handle. He leaned forward, finalizing the kiss. They both let out a small groan. Eddie placed his other hand on the back of Steve’s neck, holding his head carefully, yet firmly. Eddie pulled away for a moment and looked at Steve; there was a look of longing on his face. An expression that Eddie was hoping for. He faintly smiled before pushing Steve’s lips to his own, plunging his tongue between them. He could feel Steve tense below him before relaxing into it.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

‘You Know Where to Find Me’ will be coming to a close in March, but there will be at least 5 more entries to it. I will also be posting my entry for the STRBB in March. I hope after those are done I can jump back into my ongoings.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that’s read my work, and a platonic hug and kiss for those who have gone out of their way to leave comments or reblog them. It means the world to me 🤍🖤

Thank you to our author, @rindecision and our nominator, @skjachukson! See more of @rindecision's work featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer's Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[laylawatermelon]

70.6 - 7.07 Speculation/ Buddie Meta

I am a writer y'know hehe

So, Buddie is happening.

Now let me explain.

Bi buck always existed, but the problem is that most of his consistent emotional relationship one could argue realistically romantically has been with a man he's known for years.

But has always been bi yes, but he's also been in love with his best friend for a really long time.

Friends to lovers where Y'all at? I see y'all madney truthers

Anyways I understand but what has kind of been bothering me is the fact that Buddie the ship has been abandoned/negated as not an important past of the puzzle for bi buck realization despite the fact that Eddie is physically present throughout his entire relationship/storyline.

I could argue that because they're mirrors to each other (corny soulmate type shit is perfect for network tv) this is the best way to ease people into it.

Buck and Eddie are the two beloved firefighters (and respective sex symbols). They have an appeal for the straight audience for that reason.

Lou already spoiled it but he's only here for a while.

There's been almost blatant explanations and dialogue that leads to the fact that this relationship is going to directly lead into buddie one way or another.

Tommy has from the beginning suspected that Buck (I'm calling him Evan in my head in regards to him and it's so weird 😖) and Eddie have an unusual relationship or that Buck is in love with Eddie at least.

(MY attention? is the biggest example.)

My prediction is that their mirrors of each other, the parallels, and red flags pop up too often now.

I know they're still writing the show and are likely watching audience engagement and ao3 (I'm watching you Tim ik you're here I'm new but ik you got shooters out here) for where to go with the story.

In Eddie's (frankly oddly portrayed) plotline is related to his Catholic guilt and his nonexistent relationship with Marisol (no last name?). As the episode maybe suggests they don't know their partners well enough.

Shame to Eddie because it's been months in universe like come on man. In Buck's it's literally been a few weeks, and most of the time Tommy spent with Eddie and not with him.

I like them as a couple and find them affordable. I can't quite bring myself to ship them or be as enthusiastic as others and that's okay.

I still admire the relationship they have and won't bash others for enjoying it.

Hell they still have Taylor and Buck enjoyers and maybe even Abby (i assume I haven't met any honestly).

The reason why I'm a bit confused on why Buddie isn't being all that embraced as a vital part of the storyline is because in a way it is.

I think it spurred the writers on to lean into it heavily due to the actors chemistry and portrayal of the relationship.

Now I'm not saying he wouldn't be bi regardless, because he's always been written that way.

His interactions with worm guy, a gay married couple, Carlos (who I've been waiting to say this but I can't hold myself any longer is Latino, shorter than him, brown eyes, dark hair - Eddie lite/he had a bit of a type aka cute guys.)

I clocked him flirting with him with his cute fact spilling as a way of affection because I do it to to people I love. (🤗i love my ADHD rep!) When he saw him look at the girl he became more platonic in his interactions. Then there was Eddie.

And Eddie honestly is the biggest part of the puzzle.

Yes he likes Tommy, and I don't deny he likes strong confident (suspiciously Eddie shaped 😂) guys.

He has always been attracted to strong personalities regardless of gender.

I do think he did pursue him and I think because Tommy is gay he recognized the flirting Buck does with both men and women as that, flirting.

Eddie doesn't count cause he has a whole can of worms he gotta figure out himself.

If Buck had consistent scenes with an out queer man on the show he'd have been at least clocked. (Eddie was kind of in the way with Josh and the Dispatch crew/his gaydar pinged a lil around him)

I've been saying that now that he's canonically bisexual and it's a known fact, you can't deny he's quite literally been flirting with his best friend the entire show (as a coparent??? Idk man they both said they skip steps/impatient 🤷🏾‍♀️).

When new fans watch it it's obvious, when older fans recall it it's either enlightening or redefining that relationship regardless.

The red flags that are coming up is Eddie's statement of moving too fast and Buck literally moving to fast with his second date (i assume idk how in world time works it's a tv show 🤷🏾‍♀️) being his sister's wedding.

Realistically I know you only invite people to events like that if you're fully committed to each other for a long term thing.

I'm not saying that he's on his wheel but in a way I'm tilting my head at some similarities of Tommy and his past relationships and Buck's tendencies.

Buck will be Buck.

Tommy knows him as Evan, and calls him such.

Which didn't get me wrong cute or whatever but rubs me there wrong away, because we know he prefers Buck as it's his chosen name for a reason. It's defined him and been contextualized and even accepted by his parents.

I believe in calling people the name they choose to be called and I just don't like when that's ignored.

It also doesn't help that he continues to call him that in an episode called You don't know me (you can Even tie it in to Marisol No last name) that deals with identities and lack of knowledge.

Buck has spent most of his remaining twenties with that identity and has defended it so the casualness of him calling him that unnerves me.

It's meant to close the distance and be portrayed as romantic but it can also be interpreted as him seeing Evan, not Buck when with him.

But I did see a post that changed my perspective on calling a name with love instead can recontextualize the meaning of it and I found that sweet and fitting. In that case I can swing either way about it.

If it does make him more accepting of that side of his identity that's great that he's beginning to heal from a path when his name/personhood was used as a weapon or item.

But, I also still feel a bit iffy that it's not interchangeably used with Buck because his family and everyone he knows calls him that. Even his previous romantic partners did and I didn't mind him being called it but I would like it if both names would be used as that is the new part of him where Evan exists as well.

Also narratively they spent too much time on defining his name and what it means to him and everyone around him to not show the importance of his identity being acknowledged in a new unfamiliar relationship.

(whew i think I'm just mad at the writers or this may just be on purpose who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️)

I'm getting to the meta I promise I'm just finally processing what's been plaguing me about this relationship and i gotta let the monster out

That would also explain why he doesn't know the ADHD rants that Buck blabs on about.

But then again the episode is called you don't know me and they weren't even friends he just jumped into a relationship.

(ps you can just start dating someone and learn as you go I'm just saying 🤷🏾‍♀️)

The biggest problem with their relationship is that he's in love with his best friend.

He literally only began to open up and flirt when he realized that he wasn't a romantic threat to his family.

(Which trifling Buck! Your man can't get wined and dined?? He deserves love too!/j)

He literally relaxed/his shoulders open up when Tommy assures him that his son still loves and idolizes him and that Eddie still likes him and he's irreplaceable in his life.

After that's secured he begins to make his move and become more flirtatious (cough sexually open cough) to this confident man in his kitchen in the dim lights and glowy atmosphere.

Damn I'd kiss him too 🤷🏾‍♀️ (if I was a guy ofc)

I also didn't like the parallels of Buck being left (which has happened with his female love interests) and then Buck still having to reach out.

I don't think Tommy is bad for Buck, but I'm still not convinced that he's 100% good. But then again he's been here literally a two episodes and barely any screentime.

And the one he does makes it seem like he's interested but not too invested.

(which makes sense and I will elaborate a bit later in the meta speculation)

The Tommy that everyone is talking about exists solely in fan spaces and head canon and that's why I think I can't get into it. The facts of him are plain in the show but in the fan spaces he has a different image.

Which valid, once again he's almost a blank sheet of what we wish a Buck gets and deserves in a love interest but that's what he is as of now. A blank-ish sheet. Kind of like a projection sheet for movies.

Tommy seems like a caring partner and sure of himself. He's shown himself to be funny, considerate, and as unhinged as the rest of the 118 (ah the fruity fire badasses).

Also i wanna point your Buck likes em a lil older sometimes haha

But back on topic, I can see Tommy being like Natalia (which makes sense as that storyline could've been used) In the fact that he sees that the space in his life is occupied and respectfully backs out.

My meta for 7.06 is this.

Tommy helps out somehow. Buck is ecstatic rightfully so.

They kiss dance and are cute.

The family is very welcoming, the 118 is still loving, but then he sees something that affirms his suspicions.

It's a normal scene for us.

Either Buck is taking care of Chris and then talks to Eddie.

He sees the look in Buck's eyes and the fondness there. He looks at Eddie and sees the same on his face.

He notices how they work together and laugh, them at the family and life he's built all around him, and decides he can't be apart of this. There's no space for him.

It feels too real too fast and he'll only end to heartbroken because he's just interested, not invested yet.

So he gracefully bows out and let's him know that he has enough love in his life if he'd just look for it.

(i also found out he used the word interested in the cafe scene where i recognized it as the ana date. Also Buck was wearing a white patterned shirt and i had a heart attack because it wasn't great the last time he wore it 😬)

Then it leads into ghost of a second chance.

(now imma say this i will be posting more specs about the these episodes I'm just on my buddie storyline juice rn)

This is now Buck trying to salvage/figure out what went wrong and maybe try to contact him again.

In the case of Marisol it's safe to assume they break up, the reason why isn't clear.

It could be related to his sisters disapproval of their relationship (as they're supposed to be coming out did the show forget??) or apprehension towards her as they've been raised/watched him grow up.

They know what makes him happy.

For ghost a second chance I didn't have much buddie assumptions but I'm pretty sure that one is more in relation to other members of the cast most likely and maybe Buck trying to salvage his relationship.

7.08-10 isn't complete so who knows🤷🏾‍♀️ how they must switch it up for more drama?

But I will say, we gotta dive into the Eddie of it all.

Y'all thought I forgot about him?

The bi Buck storyline isn't complete without Eddie either romantically or platonically.

In real life their queer storylines were always interchangeable and they're both feeling out the GA and fans reaction.

Buddie not going canon doesn't make sense because realistically it's one of the biggest ships and the most talked about things for the online fans.

It's a good reason many fans started (me included🙋🏾‍♀️) and stay (if the beautiful found family didn't hit it for them).

The way that they were both discussed and Ryan is fine with Buddie still kind of matches his character honestly. Demi Eddie is a head canon and honestly Eddie would only be comfortable with dating a man at this stage of his life if it's someone he loves already aka Buck.

There could be other reasons but as a Buddie warrior truther (as they named it which is still so insane) as his old interviews alluded to the fact that he loves Buck so much he can't really see himself with another guy he just met like that.

He also maybe wanted a easier storyline as he had always been a bit of a heavy character.

For women it's easier as he's raised to do it and it's "natural" or right for him to do so.

His parents said it, the church says it, God says it so it must be right.

He loves commitment, has said he's a nester and constantly yearns for a family unit.

The only family unit he knows of it feels is acceptable due to his upbringing is man, woman, child.

Not that he's homophobic cause duh, HenRen is literally there, but his standards and pressure doesn't even let him fathom it for himself.

It's also likely if the demi part is true, he's highly unlikely to be like Buck and view others sexually and even realize he's able to have a family/relationship with a man.

I suspect no Buddie this season. I actually hope and pray for it.

Because from both a business and story point it's best to keep the will-they won't-they into season 8 to keep viewers engaged/tuning in and not to rush the story and get some really good emotional moments.

I won't lie I miss the angst we got in the other seasons and as a result the show's identity with Eddie has faltered a bit.

I didn't love episode 5 but I didn't hate it. I still enjoy the show and if they feel a bit unusual it's okay.

There were still some great moments in it.

Eddie's character is now happy but as a result he's also somewhat unfamiliar (that speaks to the whump heavy storylines he has) as he seems less mature. You can argue now that he has a stable support system he's able to let loose because he knows his needs will be covered.

That's also a great point and easy way of showing his development.

His Catholic guilt now that it's been introduced will have to be deconstructed as he will have to redefine his life, what he's looking for/allow himself to be and dare to dream of a life not given to him by someone else or pressure.

This season he's only just started to accept things that make him feel good (which for now is Marisol) and be open and honest about it.

I can argue it is a great sign of improvement of his character.

A bit ooc portrayal yes, but the message of looking deeper still applies.

This can apply to Buddie probably leading through the next half of season 7 by being ramped up and then going full speed ahead season 8.

At the time though since they're still writing they may take a hard right turn and keep it platonic (😭).

But what would be inevitable is Eddie's coming out/self discovery arc that isn't tied to the church or sense of duty.

Which yay! More self discovery I love the message of finding yourself lasts throughout your life and due to life's unexpected events you can change to be a better version of yourself all the time.

We got bi buck (which evidently was influenced by Eddie in some way) now let's free Eddie to even if they didn't do it for Buddie (once again😭😭😭).

Now that I've got it mostly off my chest I'm definitely gonna do an analysis of the parallels and the way it's played pt.2 (and more as seasons passed cause Ryan and Oliver 😘 muah 10/10 no notes).

Okay bye.

[avatarkurukdefender]

Since the adhd brain refuses to cooperate and let me finish chapter two of A Literal Team Avatar...might as well talk about it instead

Specifically about the Boiling Rock arc

Aka the arc where I get to go full whump writer and torment the beloveds

:3

Kuruk and Roku are gonna get captured after the failed invasion during the eclipse (fpr reasons that I will not spoil)

And they are going to be taken to the Boiling Rock and will be there for about three weeks, maybe a month since that seems like how long that time period was.

That will be the worst time of their new lives

They will be separated almost immediately upon arriving, with Roku being taken to solitary confinement in the freezer (where he will stay for at least like sixty to seventy percent of his time in the prison) while Kuruk is taken deeper into the prison.

Ans the Warden will take EVERY possible precaution to make sure Kuruk cant bend. Because its one thing to hold a powerful firebender, just lock them in the freezer and they cant bend. No problem.

But keeping a WATER bender from bending in a prison that is literally SURROUNDED by water is a much more difficult task.

So Kuruk will be kept in a very hot, very dry room. Dry air will be filtered through at all times, he will be guarded at all times, there will be MULTIPLE locked metal doors before even reaching his cell, and most importantly

He will be heavily restrained.

Hands completely covered in metal cuffs, more restraints on the elbows, knees, and thighs and ankles, even a shackle around his NECK to really keep him as still as physically possible.

Oh did I mention that they will only give him the BARE MINIMUM amount of water needed to keep him from dying of dehydration (like once every five days)

They'll feed him even less.

Anything to keep him weak, prevent any chance of him breaking out.

Because Kuruk is definitely the most dangerous person in the prison and if he got out all hell would break loose

Meanwhile Roku is just gonna be left alone with his thoughts, with his guilt because this was all his fault, it was his fault that they got captured it was his fault that Kuruk was suffering and he was helpless to stop it, hell it was his fault that this entire war was even happening!

Because even thought he's in solitary, in the freezing cold, unable to bend, he's not actively being STARVED to death (even though he's only getting fed a bit more frequently than Kuruk) and being constantly kept on the brink of dehydration and close to heatstroke.

It will be such a relief when Sokka, Zuko and Yangchen come to rescue them and eventually Suki, Sokka's dad, and the other inmate guy whose name I cant remember.

The only reason Kyoshi wasn't allowed to join the rescue mission was because both her mentor and her former pupil being held hostage would make it be an absolute BLOODBATH.

It will still be a mass homicide when Yangchen sees Kuruk in his current state. Jst not as bloody, because she can just make people's lungs collapse, trap them in an airless void or just obliterate them with a close ranged scream.

Kuruk will get to drown people with boiling water, as a treat.

Zuko is gonna realize just how lucky he was that Aang is a pacifist because air nomads can become absolutely terrifying when "all life is sacred" goes out the window.

There will be three chapters before the actual boiling rock arc begins

One when Roku and Kuruk are first brought to the prison.

Another on how they're doing during the Sun Warriors arc

And a final one the night before the rescue trio arrive at the prison.

(The chapters will be titled "No Mind To Think." "No Will To Break." And "No Voice To Cry Suffering." Yes that is a Hollow Knight reference that game is a masterpiece, one of my favorite video games EVER and I cant wait for Silksong so bite me)

Why does this arc have to be so far away :(

Anyways enjoy

[fru1typunch]

So WHAT if autistic folks find comfort in Aziraphale and see ourselves represented in him? So WHAT if ADHDers find comfort in Crowley and see ourselves represented in him? Neurodivergent folks think these characters are like us and it's comforting, so WHAT! I'm an auDHDer (autistic as well as ADHD) and I absolutely see traits in both characters I relate to and I adore it. My closet is pretty much just a dozen flannels and button ups and various graphic tees for shows I like, and hasn't been updated since, oh, I'd say around the 1800's (I joke with you amusingly). I get upset almost too easily and have a hard time expressing my emotions "properly", even as a grown man. I have a safe space from the world that myself and only very close very trusted loved ones can enter, and I get incredibly upset when it's being disturbed by unwelcome visitors. I'm very observant and inquisitive about how the world works and why things are the way they are and get really upset at even slight injustices. I flap my hands and shake my fists and smile and giggle when I'm happy or excited. I wear tinted glasses, yes even indoors, to deal with sensory overload. All that shit is shit Aziraphale and Crowley do, too. So I LOVE these characters. Who cares that neurodivergent folks find comfort in them. I highly doubt Neil Gaiman's the type of asshole to tell me I shouldn't. He's always been a pretty big advocate for the folks that society doesn't like, as a writer and as a person, so I think he wouldn't mind if I find comfort in seeing my autistic traits in his angel or my ADHD traits in his demon. Michael Sheen literally said "god bless the happy flappers" with a bunch of heart emojis to an autistic fan saying they loved Azraphale's hand stimming because they did it too in 2019, so I highly doubt he'd care either. And I keep seeing the argument thrown around that angels and demons couldn't be neurodivergent because they should be "perfect" celestial beings, which is grossly ableist. If angels and demons can be visibly physically disabled, they can be invisibly mentally disabled too, I reckon.

Anyways, rant over, Good Omens is neurodivergent as hell because I say so, fuck you.

[athetos]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the expectations placed on butch lesbians both inside and outside of the queer community. As soon as I was able to dress myself and pick out my own wardrobe I started presenting masculinely, and while I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I felt a lot of pressure to be “exemplary” as compensation for my lack of gender conformity. I felt the need to prove myself to others, namely gender conforming straight cis people, and pushed myself to excel in school, at my hobbies, and be an all-around “likable” person. As though to make up for my shortcoming of being butch. When my grades inevitably slipped in high school, thanks to a combination of undiagnosed adhd and stress, it almost felt like I lost my identity, my one “redeeming” factor. I became a chronic people pleaser, because I felt if people liked me, they could see past my “flaws.” This is still something that I struggle with today, perhaps even more so now that I openly identify as butch, and feel like I’m representing my community. Some of the worst judgement I’ve faced hasn’t been from loud and proud homophobes, but from the subset of gender conforming cishet women who see me as a threat.

Within the greater queer community, butches are expected to be chivalrous, capable, hardworking, brave, good in bed, strong, and protective. We are assumed to be dominant tops. If you have a problem, a butch is expected to fix it. I embody some of these traits, and am proud of them. Others, not so much. As a submissive bottom, I have to constantly shut down people who expect me to be their aggressive top. The thing is, butches are expected to handle any and everything that comes our way, which is oftentimes far more than we can handle. Would I defend my siblings if it came down to it? Yes, to my last breath. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? The butch martyr. A commonly used fiction trope in queer media, and a common occurrence in real life. I definitely don’t think it’s a bad trope in fiction (my favorite novels all fall into this at some point or another), but it echoes how we are perceived in real life. The expectation that, perhaps, butches have to suffer.

And I resonate with that, which might not be a healthy thing. Hell, the title of my blog at the time of this post is “your local butch Paladin.” But I don’t want to be hard, uncompromising, and brave all of the time. I want to be soft and warm, too. Sometimes, I’m the one who needs protection. We all do. I fear that sometimes butches aren’t respected as people. Sometimes, it feels like we’re just seen as sex objects, or guardians that can carry any burden. I’m not interested in being a full-time caretaker, or the sole rock in a relationship. I want to be taken care of, too.

At the same time that I embrace the expectations placed on me as a butch, I also reject them.

I’m just rambling; I’m not really sure if I have anything original to say. This has definitely all been said before, by writers far more eloquent than me. I just hope you all think about how you treat butches, and question why that is.

[hibiscus02]

I just read Legoland and I decided to compile some helpful tidbits about Penny's character, for all your fanfic writer needs!

If you want to write RTC fanfic using her canon personality and backstory, this is the place for you. I apologize if someone has done something similar!

•Let's start with her basic introduction in the play;

"PENNY is a young woman wearing French braids and a private school uniform; she has a bright smile." "PENNY: Hello. My name is Penny Lamb, and I am an aspiring animal conservationist." "PENNY speaks at an incredible speed, being an immensely nervous and self-conscious teenager. She literally trips over her words -- a volcano of passion and eloquence."

Now I'll give you some backstory and character info without getting into Legoland's plot. This is so people who don't have an interest in the story itself can still grasp the basics of Penny's character.

Both Penny and her little brother (Ezra) were homeschooled. They grew up on the Elysium Community Farm, just outside of Uranium City.

When Penny turned 13, she was already getting "itchy" to see the outside world (kids were not allowed to leave Elysium until they turned 16). She thought she knew what to expect after reading 'Anne of Green Gables'.

The Lambs snuck out to a Walmart and found out it was very different from what they thought it would be. They tried to strike up conversations with people but everyone seemed weirded out by them (they snuck out several times to try and "strike up friendly chats")

Eventually the manager called the police who drove them home. That's when "all that trouble happened"

Penny's parents got 15 years in prison for cultivation and trafficking of narcotics. Her and Erza were sent to Saint Cassian Catholic School (which as I'm sure you all know is the same school that the choir members attend, obviously, since Uranium City isn't big enough to have more than one school). It is stated to be a boarding school in this so that's some extra lore for us I guess.

"PENNY: The instant I see the boys staring at me like gaping fish with their heads cut off… and the girls looking at me with those Queen of England smiles… Oh, little Penny wasn’t in Kansas anymore… Uh-uh… I was sent to the charred black bowels of everlasting Hell!"

Despite her homeschooling education Penny is actually very smart, but the values taught to her don't really go over well with a catholic school system. She also likes to use 'big words'.

Penny gets sent to the school psychiatrist, and allegedly diagnosed as Bipolar and manic depressive (to me it seemed implied that the psychiatrist was a crook, but maybe I'm reading too much into it. Do with this information what you will).

She does go through a depressive episode though, or what sure looks like one; "PENNY: Like, sleeping in my room all day… tearing my hair and throwing up, kind of suicidal and depressed and everything… So, one day a bunch of girls were setting fire to my school bag -- second time that week -- and I wasn’t even crying anymore… because, you get to a point… when you’re waaaay beyond crying."

Penny can play the ukulele and she also composes songs (or, she writes at least one during the play, but y'know)

She seems to be very against cussing, just as much as Ocean is, and reprimands Ezra whenever he cusses throughout the play.

Penny is a pescetarian.

She goes on this insane cross-country trip with her brother to the US, and whenever they get to a new state she always recites how many endangered species they have there. I just thought this was cute, and very Jane-like.

So yeah, without getting too much into it, Penny throws hot coffee on this guy and uhhh, bites him? Apparently? The assault charges get dropped and she gets extradited back to Canada, but the story was leaked to the media and she was famous for a little bit.

The way Penny and Ezra got money to travel to the US in the first place was by selling his ADHD prescription meds, so she goes to trial for drug dealing, and gets probation (they don't specify how long she's on probation for in the play).

At the very end of the script, Penny states she'd like to say something about true love. I wanted to include part of what she said because it's quite lovely (and oh y'all can make so much fanfic with this); "In a world where we are ultimately alone, and die in our own arms, love is the closest you come to another person… because it is the closest you come to being another person. So be very careful what you love."

*this quote is apparently also in some versions of rtc, I assume as an easter egg of sorts.

Sorry this is so long. I love Penny Lamb a lot and I also think she's insane <3

[youregonnabeokay-kid]

ADHD information for fanfic writers:

Diagnostic Process:

the diagnostic process is different in every country, but this is a basic overview

- an ADHD referral can come from any type of doctor, unlike referrals for other neurodivergences

- the wait list depends on where you live and how old you are. typically the younger you are, the shorter the wait

- ADHD has to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or by a doctor who has taken a specialized course to be certified in diagnosing and handling ADHD

- most doctors will make you fill out a questionnaire about your mental health. these questionnaires involves sections about family history, personal history, and statements that you have to agree or disagree with

- a good psychiatrist won’t diagnose you with ADHD during your first visit. they will instead spend the first few visits getting to know you and the state of your mental health

- most people are assessed for depression when being assessed for ADHD. this is because depression can present itself in similar ways. if diagnosed with depression and open to medication, the psychiatrist will first prescribe antidepressants and see how those affect you before moving on with the ADHD assessment

Meds:

- most ADHD meds are taken in the morning since they normally wear off after 8-12 hours

- when meds wear off we go through what’s known as a “crash” or “medication rebound”

- ADHD crashes are pure hell which is why some people with ADHD choose to only take meds during the week or they do nothing on the weekend as a reset of sorts

- basically, when our meds wear off all of our symptoms come back at the same time and we get overstimulated to the point of exhaustion

- some people have smaller doses of their meds that they take at the beginning of the crash. this means they can prolong the crash by a couple hours

- for some people, the first time taking meds is hell. the change is very noticeable and abrupt. i wouldn’t stop talking because it was “too quiet” (it being my mind)

- your dosage is not based on body type or weight and just because you take a high dose in one drug doesn’t mean you take a high dose in all others (my ADHD meds are 10mg higher than the highest prescribed amount but my antipsychotics are .5mg lower than the lowest prescribed dose)

- vyvanse is most often prescribed to people with combo ADHD, ritalin to those with hyperactive ADHD (especially those with impulsivity issues), and adderall for inattentive (no, this is not something that is typically disclosed or well-known but if you’ve talked to enough people w/ ADHD you begin to see a pattern) other ADHD meds are available but less likely to be prescribed

- other meds are also taken into account when getting a prescription for ADHD. vyvanse is the most versatile and is usually the one prescribed if you’re on other medications

- ADHD meds are stimulants which means doctors will never give you refills (if they do, they could lose their license)

- since they’re stimulants, for the first year you have to go to the psychiatrist’s bi-weekly for the first few months, then monthly after that so they can see how you are doing

- ADHD meds are known for lowering sex drives and increasing hunger (sometimes the opposite may happen, as with most drugs, but these are most common)

- it takes about 1/2 hour to an hour for meds to kick in and many of us are able to tell the exact moment they start working

Other Substances:

- the neurons and chemicals in the body of an ADHD person are fucked. this means that many substances and medications have either no effect on us, or the opposite effect of what they are intended for

speaking from personal experience:

- caffeine makes me tired

- melatonin and other sleeping aids like dextromethorphan, which can be found in many cough syrups, make me hyper

- weed makes me feel lighter, but it never affects me more than that. i never get a “proper high” like other people (ie; i find no more joy or fascination in bright colours or moving objects than i usually do)

- while “sugar highs” in general are a myth, they’re real for people with ADHD! they stimulate our dopamine and opioid receptors which gives us a burst of energy

- additionally, people with ADHD are more likely to be addicted to illegal stimulants like cocaine because it calms them down (yup, you read that right. when someone with ADHD does cocaine their mind quiets and they mellow down instead of the usual hyper-active high that neurotypicals get)

Additional Information:

- we’re lacking some of the neurotransmitters in our brains so it takes us longer to process information, and we have “more” thoughts than neurotypicals since our additional thoughts aren’t processed out

- we get what’s called “executive dysfunction” or “ADHD paralysis” where we are physically unable to do things despite no real physical limitations (for non-ADHD folks: try putting your hand in fire. you’ll notice that you are either physically unable to or that your body somewhat restrains you from doing it. this is what executive dysfunction is like. for ADHD folks: do not try this since we’re also less likely to have self-preservation instincts)

- basically, i can sit for hours thinking about doing the dishes, screaming at myself in my head to just do them, but i’m still unable to

- we leave trails! we have so many thoughts going through our head that we forget them all the time, so when we get a thought like “i think the printer is low on paper, i should check” we abandon all tasks in favour of the new thought. however, the remains of those tasks stay where we left them, and thus, an ADHD trail is made

- we have both the worst and best memory of anyone you will ever meet. i might be able to tell you the exact outfit you wore on a specific day five years ago but i won’t remember what i ate for breakfast

- when we get bored, we get depressed. like, life is meaningless and i want to curl up in a ball and die depressed. sometimes we need someone to physically force us out of bed to get us out of our funk (and sometimes all it takes to get out of the funk is doing something fun which makes us feel ridiculous when we think about how depressed we were prior)

- since boredom is detrimental to us, we have to constantly be having fun which, in and of itself, is not fun. this is also why a lot of us end up doing shift work or working dangerous jobs

- we’re adrenaline junkies. this isn’t even a “most of us” situation, it’s all of us. the only difference is how we get that adrenaline. (some get it by jumping out of a plane, others get it by working on assignments in a time crunch)

- we’re social beings. even if we’re introverts, we thrive on social interactions. without them our dopamine plummets and we, once again, get depressed

- all silences are awkward to us. it doesn’t matter if you’re the person we’re most comfortable with in the world, silence is always awkward. or, more specifically, we feel like we need to fill it which is why we often ramble

obviously there’s far more to ADHD than just this and everything can change person by person but i hope this helps to gain a bit more of a general understanding on ADHD

[courtrecord]

On twitter sometime ago you described your writing habits as something similar to my own (slow, tedious, perfectionist, compulsive, agonizing over getting the words perfect instead of editing later, etc) And you also wrote a lot of dope things like Galactic 2E and Venture that are I hope you dont mind me saying, deeply inspirational. So coming from someone who hasnt Gotten There yet I have to ask, how do you get yourself to get up and just write the damn thing already?

omg thank u so much, that means more than i can possibly say. i wish i had a better set of advice but honestly so much of my creative work is vibes and hyperfixation based, and every time i finish something i look back on it like “how the fuck did i do that”, but here are the things that work for me. they are very much based on my own particular adhd and writing hangups so ur mileage will definitely vary.

start small: i didn’t start writing ttrpgs with big projects like venture & g2e. i started with a 200 word game, then some one-pagers, then kept growing from there. @jdragsky has talked a lot about the importance of building the skill of finishing things, and small projects are a really good way of doing that. hell, even g2e only exists bc i started with the smaller project of galactic, then went back to it a year later to build on it again.

share as u go: when i started working on bigger games, and this year as i’ve been working on longer fics, friends to share screenshots of my wip have been invaluable. that way i can get the immediate validation of someone reading my thing and giving feedback without feeling like i need to Publish it yet. biggest shoutout in the world to my friends who tolerate my writing nonsense.

write in chunks: this is kind of the combination of those first two points. bob games are big piles of little lists. i tend to write fic in short, impactful scenes. i have a wip that’s an sbr game, which is a big pile of little advances. that way, i am constantly getting that feeling of accomplishment when i write something. i can agonize over word choice and vibes and editing but then i actually get to a stopping point, where i like that little bit enough to move on to the next one. it seems crazy looking back that i wrote 36 places & 36 traits for g2e, but i didn’t just sit down and knock them all out. i wrote a few, sent them to some friends, then i wrote a few more. u know?

don’t force it: sometimes, the vibe just isn’t there. sometimes, u spend a year doing barely any writing or game design bc there’s a pandemic and ur brain doesn’t work anymore. etc. i’ve thought a lot the past few years about the difference btwn the feeling of wanting to write bc i want to write the thing, and the feeling of wanting to write bc i like the idea of being the person who wrote the thing. when i realize i’m in that second mindset, i go and think about something else. bc no good writing comes from that (at least ime)

find what u like: this is kinda related to the one above, but it’s another thing i’ve been thinking about lately. i spent a lot of time when i was younger assuming that bc i like writing, i had to write a novel, bc that’s what writers do. i would try to follow writing advice made for people who simply aren’t me. “writers must learn to use description sparingly” lol way ahead of u. that kinda thing. realizing that i love writing fanfiction for its transformativity, and i love writing dialogue bc it’s what i’m good at, was a huge revelation. i can just do that. i don’t have to follow the regular writer mold when i can just write really fucking good dialogue-heavy fanfiction. and in that realization, i’ve been able to grow as a writer by gaining the ability to write things down that i’m happy with, and grow from there.

prescription adderall: i told u this list was a mess. this one has kinda been crucial for me. i realized i had adhd in my first year of college in 2017 and started taking adderall for my second year of college in mid-2018. i started churning out creative projects in 2019. coincidence? absolutely not oh my god are u kidding

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

It's Autism Awareness Month Bitches!

I'm an autistic writer, here are some of my autistic characters and their traits! (I do have other disabled characters, and most of my characters end up inevitably Autistic coded, but we're just going to talk about the ones I intentionally write to be autistic)

Raven (Fractured Stars Falling project)

Blunt as hell, kicks ass, morally gray and very protective of the people he loves. He struggles with being overstimulated easily, sometimes takes things a bit literally (not metaphors, things like "I'll see you later"), uses sarcasm himself all the time but sometimes might not catch other people using it, and has a hard time unmasking because of his childhood around other kids and knight training. He either doesn't feel much emotion or feels it very intensely. His love interest is the princess he's the sworn bodyguard of, she has ADHD and zero self preservation skills. He has long, dark wavy hair just long enough to put into a ponytail, and is also Latino and Bisexual.

Triveya (Fractured Stars Falling project)

Group magic expert, bubbly personality, and she's a wizard that's a little bit feral. She has a special interest in magic (but it also burns her out pretty fast), and lives in a library tree house full of books on magic. She struggles with perfectionism, sensory issues, self destructive stims like biting and picking at her nails, rejection sensitivity, and is very emotional and hyperempathetic. She's also a very burnt out gifted kid and desperately people pleases until she burns out. She has frizzy red hair, and is also AroAce.

Kylee (The City is Ours project)

She's the youngest member of the superhero team, and has superspeed and invisibility powers. She's non-speaking autistic, so she uses sign language or a text-to-speech app on her phone to communicate, and sometimes she vocal stims or makes noises to convey her feelings. She struggles with identifying and processing her feelings, sensory issues, math and science in school, and allowing herself space to be her authetic self. She's also an artist and fills canvases and sketchbooks with surreal and dramatic art. She has glasses, red hair, and is also PanAce. People tend to infantilize her because she doesn't talk, which she hates, and once you get to know her she's actually the opposite of shy and is a mischevious little shit that loves to prank/mess with the others (manily Chase).

Pandora (Galaxy Destroyer

The scientist of the spaceship crew, specializing in biology and chemistry. She struggles with sensory issues, processing emotions, and people messing with his routine. She also has ADHD, uses she/he pronouns, and is a part time wheelchair user with chronic pain. (unfortuneately I don't have a ton on him yet because this story and this character is a bit underdeveloped, but I'm working on it).

[arialerendeair]

20 questions for fic writers!

Both @teejaystumbles and @spockandthings tagged me in this, so let's get it done!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I just recently posted up my 668 work on Ao3.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

5,129,415 words!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, Sandman!! But I also dabble in other fandoms, including Shadowhunters, Supernatural, and a few others!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In general- 1. Never Judge A Shadowhunter By Their Scent - 4,712 2. The New York Shadow Market (Featuring Protective Alec Lightwood) - 3,262 3. Magnus Bane: Certified BAMF - 3,252 4. A Curse, A Choice, A Claim - 3,031 5. A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement - 2,887 In Sandman- 1. Hopes & Dreams - 2,482 2. The Art of Seduction Via Longbow - 1,657 3. The Price - 1,220 4. A Husband, A Consort, A Nightmare - 1,089 5. Dreams Make Living Worthwhile - 1,022

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Indeed I do - sometimes months later (as a whole hell of a lot of people know right now from my comment reply spree, lol), but yes! I love taking the time to say thank you - even if you left an emoji - it made me smile and I feel like I should thank you for that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

With the angstiest ENDING? (I'm a HEA stan, so hold on, this'll take a second.) Probably Learning to Say Goodbye - which has an open/hopeful ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

HAPPIEST ending? All of them. Oh man. I don't even know. What do you consider the happiest ending? The Titanic AU - Make It Count (which has the happiest possible ending)? Hopefully - My Hope of the Endless series? (And that's just in the Sandman fandom!)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have, yup! I tend not to as a whole, but it has definitely happened!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh yes. What kind? Uh. Well. Everything from the schmoopiest first time possible to all-orifices fucking with magical tentacles, sooo? All of it?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY AND WILL WRITE SO MANY MORE. The craziest crossover I ever wrote is a 5-fandom crossover - set in the Sandman universe. I pulled in characters from the Hades Game, Supernatural, Shadowhunters, and Good Omens in and had all of them face off against Hell! The War for the Dreaming

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Unfortunately, yes, multiple times. I wish that on no person.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A great many, in multiple fandoms!! Shout out to awesome co-authors who keep me sane!!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Omg I can't pick a FAVORITE. I've had so many over the years, I don't know if I ever could truly pick a favorite. Malec probably comes pretty damn close though, all things considered.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Candy Coated Nightmare. I want to finish it from the perspective of wanting to finish the story - but when the original creator of the gif story quit the fandom due to their work being stolen and stopped the project - finishing the story without them didn't seem right. So while I want to finish it to finish the story - I never will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've learned how to hack my ADHD brain and trigger hyperfocus whenever I want using a writing software. Which means I can write very obscene amounts of words, very quickly. (Also experience - I've been doing this for 23+ years now.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Editing and research. I hate editing, so none of my fics receive more than a cursory read-through at best. And having to heavily research a fic is what kills my enthusiasm for it faster than anything else, so I avoid it at all costs and make up things as I go along whenever that is an option.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love the idea - but i think you gotta use the AO3 feature that allows you to put the translation when you click/hover over it!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Wheeew, we're going back to 2004, okay. Gundam Wing was my first ever fandom I wrote for.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

How the hell am I supposed to pick? I love Make It Count because that fic (all 120k) wrote itself. I love Together We Soar because it was the first long fic I wrote myself. (Long for me, anyways.) I love Alexander is Endlessly Surprising because I wrote 2 full sets of the Oldest Game and I thought I did an AWESOME job. I love The War for the Dreaming because it was an insane undertaking and I managed it. I love Magnus Bane: Certified BAMF because it introduced my favorite OC of all time - Oberon Onyx. So many more I could name, but I'll leave it there, at least for now!

Tagging @moorishflower, @cuubism, @blueberrymffn, @seiya-starsniper and anyone else who wants to participate!!