#benefit as a whole from becoming magical. and in fact it feels like it might be kind of a jerk move to everyone else to do so.

[kingdomoftyto]

Rotating Simon Petrikov in my mind again...........

Right now I can only envision the F&C series ending in one of two ways for him:

Simon is persuaded to permanently move to Fionna's magic-free world--a chance to live the peaceful, scholarly life he was denied by the war and the Crown. We see that he can't relate to the humans in Ooo because they're so far removed from what humans were like back in his time that they might as well be aliens, but this alternate world would be just like he remembered his old life to be, and thus more comfortable for him to settle down in. Even if it meant leaving Marceline and the others behind in Ooo, I could see this being a real possibility if Betty somehow finds a way to go with him. It would require moving on irrevocably from one part of his life, but they'd get their simple, mundane--yet happy--ending.

Simon is forced to reconcile with the fact that reuniting with Betty is either impossible or not worth some terrible price. Maybe he realizes he's not willing to cut himself off from his Marceline and the little ragtag family they've built, even for a life with Betty. Or maybe accepting the mundane life for himself would also doom Fionna and Cake to a life of misery and broken dreams, and he can't bring himself to betray his new friends for such a selfish reward. Either way the result is that he returns to Ooo, to basically the same situation he was in at the start of the season, but finally free from all the regret and guilt and grief that was stopping him from moving forward and finally embracing the second chance that Betty gave him back in "Come Along with Me".

I honestly don't know which I think is more likely at this point OR necessarily which one I would prefer, because they both have pros and cons. I maybe lean toward the second one because I tend to hate "the magic is gone, and that's good!"-type endings, but depending on the buildup I could still see it working. Ultimately it'll depend on wherever Fionna and Cake themselves end up, and I have NO idea where that's going lmao

[coffee-counts-as-a-meal]

"my blood is medicine"

no but tell me why out of everything that happened in this episode THIS is what broke my heart the most

(TLOU 1x05 "Endure and Survive" spoilers below)

I've seen some people comment about how show!Ellie feels younger than game!Ellie, like an actual 14-year old, where game!Ellie could have honestly passed as somewhere around 16ish just based on the way she carries herself. and I think that's honestly something they lean into a lot in the show, which ultimately strengthens it (i could write a whole other essay on the choices they made in changing certain aspects of Joel's character and relationship with Ellie and how it becomes SO MUCH MORE COMPELLING AND STRONGER AND THE BETTER FOR IT but that's a whole other thing)

and like. The dynamic between her and Sam (also de-aged canonically, which is HEARTBREAKING HE WAS SO TINY) feels so innocent. They're children and they're allowed to be children.

Also noticed how the moment from the game where Henry scolded Sam for merely picking up a toy was changed to Henry giving Sam crayons and ENCOURAGING HIM to draw and paint and have fun even when they're fighting to survive - it's not enough that Henry and Joel are fighting to protect their lives, but they're fighting to protect Ellie and Sam's childhood too. Letting them play soccer and steal comic books. Joel apologizing to Ellie and giving her space if she wanted it to talk about having to shoot Bryan. Henry saying "it'll be nice for Sam to have a friend," not just the practical cost-benefit analysis of what it'll mean to be traveling as a pack of four to Wyoming.

so Ellie telling Sam "my blood is medicine" hit me so hard not just because it's a last ditch-effort to save her friend. It's just so matter-of-fact in such a childish way. It's "it's okay, you skinned your knee, don't cry, I'll blow some magic fairy dust to make it feel better," it's an absolute belief in something that might not work but you kinda have to be a kid to even have that sort of faith in the first place.

when I was 13 my little sister had nightmares about that one chimpanzee that ate that lady's face (kids who grew up on dateline and late night news will know what I'm talking about) and couldn't sleep. she was around 8 at the time. I gave her a hair scrunchie and told her that if she spoke certain magic words, fairies would appear and fight whatever it was that came to harm her.

"My blood is medicine." "This scrunchie will protect you." These are the words of kids who truly believe that things will turn out okay - you wouldn't hear those words from adults, or at least they wouldn't be said in such a genuine way. Ellie genuinely believed her blood was medicine - she believed she could save her friend, magically, scientifically, whatever way you want to believe it could have worked. She's seen so much and been through so much, but she's still a kid whose first instinct is to go up to the other kid on the playground and comfort them - it's okay, my blood is medicine. You'll be okay. You're scared? I'm scared too. I'll stay up with you. Like a sleepover. We'll read comic books all night.

But her blood isn't medicine. And unlike Sam, eventually she'll have to grow up.

[dandydingo]

Why I’m Leaving Freelance Commission Work An essay about doing furry commissions by DandyDingo

Preamble  First and foremost I’d like to state that this is not a post geared toward complaining about commissioners or fellow artists in my industry. I’ve simply noticed a concerning disconnect between commissioners and artists about several topics and wanted to make something that explains, clarifies, and elaborates on some of those issues.

I love the community I’m a part of and would like to see it do better! Though it’s a meme that if you want to make money as an artist you should become a furry, it’s actually a double edged sword that I’ll be trying my best to pick apart and display. The following points I’ll be rambling about are also based on my personal experiences working in this type of career for 3 years. I am by no means the most qualified but I’m not the least qualified either; this to say please take what I say with a grain of salt. It won’t apply to all situations!

With those disclaimers out of the way, get ready for a whole lot of reading!

What is this job and how does it work? Typically when someone is referring to a furry artist they mean an artist selling illustration commissions on a freelance basis. There are many different kinds of independent creators though and this could include someone who sells merchandise, makes a living off patreon with comic work, or does fursuits. For the sake of staying focused we’re discussing artists who specifically sell illustrations and work one-on-one with commissioners to accomplish this.

As any seasoned commissioner knows, the way an artist’s process works can be varied but typically involves:

buying an open slot for a commission type (ex: a painting)

handing over your references, requests, and paying 

waiting for a work in progress image to approve 

receiving the final product

This process is the basic premise, an industry standard if you will. The artist gets the benefit of controlling when they can take on work and the commissioner has the opportunity to communicate what they want at multiple stages of the project.

But why are there so many variations to what projects an artist will even accept, what’s in their TOS, and how long it takes them to do it?

Specialization  The thing about many furry artists is we’re independent creators with little to no formal education in illustration. We’re not the type of artists you see putting together Magic the Gathering cards or developing a big title game. To expect that level of industrial standard with speed and quality would be ludicrous! This is what makes us appealing to commission though- you’re not going to find our product anywhere else and you’re supporting an artist you like directly. 

In fact, every furry artist is a unique snowflake with their own specializations. This is partially since art takes a ridiculous amount of time to get good at. An artist is almost forced to choose what they can offer and what they’re going to invest in trying to sell. This can even be out of our control! For example, one of the running jokes with my slice of community is the fact that after drawing a single bird furry there was suddenly an entire flock asking me to draw their bird sonas. 

Specialization directly rewards furry artists with more steady income / clients and thus they might have to restrict what they can offer. Again, learning to draw something new takes a lot of time. An artist who has never touched backgrounds will struggle a lot to suddenly try and include them in their work. This doesn’t mean it can’t be done or that an artist doesn’t want to. I would even argue this hyper specialization can often leave artists in a depressing loop they feel they can never escape from. If they suddenly draw something else it won’t sell, their personal interests have been buried by what actually works on the market.

Some artists do break this mold though and either enjoy the specialization they’re in or are experienced enough to draw whatever they fancy at a high quality. Perhaps even, their audience expects and celebrates an experimental approach from them which is something that’s true in my case. One of my most successful commissions were “surprise bags” where requests and edits weren't even allowed! Others are not fortunate enough to have that option though.

In any case, this is not the sole reason for the insane variety we see in furry artists and why their commission processes vary so much but it is a huge part of it. For context, the level of skill you see in my art took 5 years to get to and I would consider myself intermediate at best. It’s truly an underrated skilled trade.

Prices - Part 1 Cost of Living Money, everyone’s favourite non-controversial topic! So why is furry art so expensive? 

It costs a lot to be a living breathing creature with a roof over your head and food in your belly. We all feel the current effects of inflation and ridiculously high rent. This is definitely a big reason why art can / should cost a lot and believe it or not MOST artists do not make minimum wage.

This doesn’t just apply to furry artists of course and I would be beating a dead horse on something we all already know, the economy is in a terrible state right now. It depends on what country / area you live in, what your living situation is, if you have any pets or health issues, etc.

In general though, that $200 price tag for a reference sheet doesn’t make the cut in most places. It might be the single biggest reason why I cannot continue this work anymore, the price I can sell something for is only so high but my workload will remain the same. That reference sheet will take me 2-4 days to complete no matter what if I want to maintain the good quality a commissioner is (understandably) paying me for. 

Depending on what you're selling and where your experience level is at (the more experienced you are the less time it takes to complete something at an acceptable quality) a commission can take 1 hour to finish or it can take 12 hours. So… just do a lot of smaller cheaper stuff right? 

Prices - Part 2 The Great Artist Killer, BURNOUT If an artist cannot manage to sell a few big things to meet their monthly bills they might instead switch gears to sell lots of small affordable things. This can mean doing 20-40 commissions a month at a back breaking pace. While all jobs slowly drain the life out of your soul, art demands a level of mental focus that is often overlooked and in the case of this career, you only have you to do the work that is required. 

There is no one to cover your shift, there is no one to assist you, and if you don’t make your deadlines your reputation is at stake. The very same reputation of good work ethic that keeps your commissioners coming back the next opening. You must push through the burnout! You must work until your hand aches and bleeds! You must- there is no one to save you from this Hell!

If you try to be an affordable or high production artist this is the life you have to look forward to. Desperately churning out product as you retrofit your creativity and passions into a well oiled machine. Often to try and prevent this artists will raise their prices to something they can live off without breaking themselves or have a mix of high / low prices. A middle ground if you will, something that still doesn’t make the standard of living but isn’t a death march either. It’s a precarious and strange limbo with financial insecurity but hey… at least you’re not dead. It should be noted as well that most artists struggle with some form of mental illness and selling commissions might even be the only career open to them. This is not a topic I feel qualified to speak on but it does play an enormous role in experiencing burnout and the general struggles of this career. 

Prices - Part 3 Afterthoughts While I wish artists could push for an appropriate living wage, I understand the commissioners' side as well. Spending $100 that could go toward groceries is just not feasible for the vast majority of us and so when we see something that is actually in our range, a $20 headshot or $10 sketch, we often hop on it without a second thought on the ethics of paying that low. It is okay to buy a treat for yourself that is within a price range you can afford though! You should never spend what you can’t nor should you ever feel pressured or guilty to buy something.

If a commissioner is concerned about paying enough I would recommend saving up and giving as big of a tip as you can! Artists are almost always underselling themselves and even just a $5 tip covers the cut that Paypal takes or buys them a coffee to get through the day. Buying what’s reasonable for you is absolutely still supporting them and a little goes a long way!

NOTE : any artist can experience burnout or struggle with meeting minimum wage no matter what they’re selling; this is a hard topic to pick apart Making Art - Part 1 The Process So how does making art work? That might seem like a silly question but it’s hard to understand when you’re not the one creating it. Given how closely a commissioner and artist must work together in order to achieve a desired result I think it’s worth breaking down what goes into making a piece. Of course every illustrator is different but here’s how it generally works:

Hope You’re Mentally Well Art requires mental concentration, particularly for something complex such as a city. Often a bad mental state can be worked around but sometimes the process stops here- you’re just not able to focus enough to measure out that perspective or break down the complex anatomy that goes into drawing a hand.

Find References An artist may need to take an hour or so to find the right references or to make thumbnail sketches. Especially if your client asked for something specific (like a particular brand of whisky) you need to know what it looks like and how it will fit into the piece. For small quick pieces though this is usually a waste of time and skipped.

Sketching Here is often where the commissioner sees the first glimpse of work done- the sketch! Some artists are messy, some are neat and tidy. They might be drawing you a reference sheet or a headshot but either way you typically get to take a glimpse at their blueprint and ask for changes before the rest happens. Sketches are easy to change and can be redone from scratch with the least amount of time lost if needed. It is the optimal step to work with the client on making sure expectations are met.

Rough Render To keep it across the board for all types of art (painting, cell shading, lineless, etc) we’ll call this part the rough render. A commissioner may be shown the flatcolor swatch to ensure markings were drawn accurately, the lineart to double check all requested details have been included, the rough lighting to give an idea of the mood… the list goes on and on! Some artists skip this step entirely if it’s not needed, there is such a thing as oversaturation when it comes to communication.

Final Product This is simply where the commissioner and artist part ways once everything has been approved, the final product! It may have taken hours or days to get to this step but either way it’s been completed.

Making Art - Part 2 When It Doesn’t Go Smoothly Sometimes an artist’s workflow is so rigid even a single missed day from bad mental health or a life event can have a cascade effect that puts them behind schedule. Quite literally an artist can only draw for so many hours before their hand (or body in general) physically gives out. I’ve had work days where I’ve tried to push myself in order to catch up, to the point of rubbing the skin off my finger enough to make it bleed. In the long run this can mean career-ruining cases of carpal tunnel in the wrist or hand and like with any other desk job; your neck and back aren't very happy about the workload either. Artist work days are often shorter than what’s considered normal which adds to the general difficulty of the career as well. While some artists can certainly work that full 8-10 hour shift, others might only be able to handle 3-6 hours before they can’t concentrate or are in too much pain to continue (speaking in long term for that one, it took a few years of regular work before I started having real physical issues from drawing too much). Given most are stuck at certain price points for selling their art it’s almost impossible to charge more in order to compensate for these possible missed days. It’s an issue with other careers as well which I do want to acknowledge; missing even one day of work could mean less groceries that week or cost someone their job in extreme cases. We truly live in a society! It should be noted though that keeping an impossible schedule is a huge stressor for artists who are stuck having to produce more than they can mentally or physically take on. They often know they can’t do it but what other choice is there- not buying the medication you need that month? This always seems to lead to something public and discussed a lot in the community; the instances of being issued a refund out of the blue or seeing a lengthy mental breakdown post about suffocating in the stress of it all. The wear and tear on creativity is visible as well. An artist’s work may become monotone or lifeless as they sink further from the weight of impossible to meet expectations. They might struggle to produce what they used to be able to as time marches on or simply feel unbearably hopeless. If the unsustainable workflow continues for too many years passion becomes strangled and real physical consequences are apparent. 

Some are able to escape this or don’t have this issue! Others suffer in silence or might not be aware of the strain they are being put through, as is the case with plenty of other careers.

How Can I Support Artists? If you’re interested in making life easier for your favourite artist there are a few simple things you can do; specifically in regards to the commission process!

Read the Terms of Service This is not something you should skip over as it could detail how edits are handled, what an artist is willing to draw, etc. It's beneficial for everyone that the TOS is read.

Look Before You Buy Take a peek at an artist’s gallery and decide if you like their style before you purchase anything OR buy a small sample to see if you enjoy how they draw your character! I feel some commissioners don’t understand that an artist cannot change how they stylize on a whim (for example a semi-realistic artist isn’t going to suddenly draw anime). If you’re indifferent or you like experimentation then this isn’t something you need to worry about.

Have A Reference Sheet Although reference sheets are expensive, if you frequently commission artists and are able to afford it BUY ONE! It saves a huge amount of time and frustration- so much so that some artists won’t even consider accepting your commission without a proper reference sheet. Having to guess the body type or colors takes a lot of time and can easily be prevented!

Leave Wiggle Room Give an artist some room to breathe with a bit of artistic freedom! Do not expect them to get that exact #CCE5FF shade of blue you want or draw every single marking of a complex pattern. Lower your expectations if they’re that high, you’ll enjoy the piece more when you do!

Tip Particularly if you’re commissioning a character with a lot of detail or have very specific requests, leave a tip. Again all it takes is a $5 tip to make a difference!

Advice For Artists If you’re truly looking to get into this industry or have been in it for a while, here are some tips that can (hopefully) help make your job a little easier or get started. I don’t want to discourage people from this job by any means! We wouldn’t have the community we do without freelance artists. NEW ARTISTS

Start Small If you’re just starting out you’ll want to aim for the $10 - $50 price range with marketable pieces such as icons or chibis. You may have to heavily undersell yourself for a while to grow a client base. If you don’t sell anything at first don’t be discouraged! It’s perfectly normal to struggle for a while (even years) before you have anything steady.

Experiment Now is the perfect time to experiment and see what works and what doesn’t, what you like and what you hate. Try different platforms, different commission types and styles, whatever you fancy! The goal is to find a niche you can wedge yourself into, feel happy with, and work towards; not to fish around for immediate results.

Focus On Studying The more experience and tools in your belt, the better. For the first while you should be focusing on improving your art if you’re not at an intermediate level. Once hands don’t feel like such a struggle you know you’re at the right place! This will set you up to be more efficient and feel less frustrated down the road.

EXPERIENCED ARTISTS

Personal Time For the sake of your mental health you need to set aside time to do personal art, experiment, and relax. This could mean having a consistent day off, finding a new hobby, or making vent art just for yourself. Also, don’t be afraid to post personal art! You should not be apologizing for taking reasonable time to yourself.

Experimental Commissions Allow yourself to open weirder commission types from time to time. Maybe lately you’ve been really into drawing beach scenes, you could open a 2 slot commission that promises summer vibes. These could be filler between your bigger pieces or replace them every now and then depending on what you can get away with. Other examples I’ve seen are selling goretober calendar slots or $10 artistic freedom sketches. Just try to get yourself out of that repetitive loop if you feel like you need to, worse case it doesn’t sell!

It’s Okay To Quit Not all of us have this option given personal circumstances but there is no shame in leaving this career. Doing commissions even as a casual filler can rob you of the passion you once had for your hobby. If you feel genuinely unhappy with this job and come across the opportunity to safely leave, go for it! In my case I’m going from commission work to comic work, something within the same general field that I can do at my own pace. 

Afterword Although I tried to cover as much as I could with this, I know not every issue of the relationship between commissioners and artists was addressed. There are artists who take large amounts of money and then ghost their commissioner. There are commissioners who negatively nitpick at every step of the process and leave an artist feeling like a beaten down dog. The furry community is huge with lots of different folks, there will of course be bad eggs that make things harder for both sides. 

I simply hope this leaves commissioners with a better understanding of an artist's perspective and gives some well deserved compassion to the creative people that breathe so much life into our community. We as artists should also appreciate the clients that support us with positive enthusiasm. This special relationship doesn’t exist in a lot of places and I hope I've offered something to help furries have a better understanding of one of the biggest aspects of our community. 

Written with much love for the wonderful people that have cheered me on over the years and the community that has always shown it's full support toward me.

[rosanna-writer]

a simple name and everything has changed (2/?)

Summary: we said hello and your eyes look like coming home, Rhys POV chapters Or: Rhys's slow realization that he's mated to Prythian's most chaotic human (and how much he loves her for it) Warnings: implied/referenced sexual assault, discussion of food insecurity and disordered eating Word Count: ~3.4k

This is Rhys's POV of ch. thirteen: stay stay stay, which is the first morning back in the Night Court after getting out from Under the Mountain. Please note: I added an additional content warning for discussion of food insecurity and disordered eating for this chapter.

You can find it below the readmore or read the whole thing here on AO3.

Feyre was hungry. It wasn't the first time I felt hunger pangs clawing at her, and I still didn't understand how she ignored them as if they were nothing. Otherwise, her side of the bond was calm, and that was the only thing keeping the last remnants of my sanity intact.

Even flying didn't make me feel better, not like it used to. The trip from the townhouse to the House of Wind had never been difficult before, but the muscles in my shoulders were barking in pain by the time I landed on the balcony, even though it had only been a few short minutes.

Then suddenly none of that mattered because Feyre was waiting for me in clothes that couldn't possibly look more classically Night Court.

I hadn't known what she'd worn the last time she'd been in Velaris; I'd gotten glimpses out her eyes before she'd learned to shield, but Feyre didn't spend much time looking at herself. The matching peach pants and top were obviously hers—they fit too well to have been borrowed. The color suited her, bringing out the pink in her cheeks.

She looked healthy. Comfortable. Beautiful. Like she belonged here and always had, the Queen of Night in her rightful place in the House of Wind. I thought I'd only see it in my wildest dreams, but this was real.

Before the silence could become awkward, I said, "Night Court attire suits you." It might have been the biggest understatement of my life.

Her smile was hesitant, but it was there, the last piece falling into place. "All things considered, it would be strange if it didn't," she said, "but thank you, though."

It made me feel better, enough to remember my manners and that she was famished. I pulled out a chair and indicated for her to sit, then used magic to conjure up food from the kitchen. Feyre, by some miracle, didn't fight me, just immediately dug into breakfast with a fervor I hadn't seen anyone display since Cassian had been a youngling.

Feyre had never said it, but she didn't need to. There had clearly been long stretches of time in the mortal lands when she hadn't had enough to eat.

It was a relief to see her finally get a proper meal. She didn't seem to notice me staring, but I poured tea anyway just to have something to do with my hands. There was no point in talking until she was full.

When it seemed safe, I said, "Why did you leave?" There was no point in beating around the bush.

I braced myself for the answer while Feyre took her time choosing her words. Each second seemed to stretch into an eternity, but eventually she said, "It seemed presumptuous to stay."

Presumptuous. I couldn't fathom what could possibly have made her feel that way. "If it was something I—"

"You haven't done anything wrong. Really."

She sounded earnest, but something was clearly wrong or we wouldn't be having this conversation. "You climbed ten thousand steps yesterday."

For a long moment, she wouldn't look at me. I said nothing else, just gave her time and resisted the urge to find a crack in her shields and find out what she was thinking.

Voice soft, she said, "I just...thought you'd want space, now that you can finally have it."

My insides twisted with the realization that she'd done this for my benefit. The fact that she thought I'd want that, after everything…it made me feel like a failure. Feyre deserved to feel wanted.

"Not from you," I said, sighing and running a hand through my hair.

She moved closer and pressed her face to my shoulder, and at the contact, the bond uncoiled in my chest. I wrapped an arm around her, and it felt good to give into the instinct to pull her closer.

"I think I needed to hear you say that," she whispered.

With her face against my shoulder, she didn't see the way I pressed my eyes shut for a moment, careful not to let her feel my shame. I'd felt overwhelmed at setting foot in Velaris again, but I shouldn't have lost focus enough for her to even consider the possibility that I'd want her anywhere but at my side.

But there were other things I couldn't leave unsaid, and they'd be easier to get out when she wasn't looking at me. I forced myself to say, "Feyre, you're under no obligation to stay here, and of course I'll take you back across the Wall if that's what you want. I know you didn't understand what was happening when you accepted the bond. That said, as far as I'm concerned, the townhouse is yours, too. And even if it wasn't, I thought after everything you were at least comfortable enough to stay in my guest room for a night."

If Feyre wanted to return to the mortal lands and never see a faerie again, I wouldn't blame her. I didn't know much about what her life had been like before coming to Prythian, but if she wanted, she deserved to be able to return to it. And I needed to make it explicitly clear that the mating bond didn't mean I had any sort of claim over her.

Her choice. Always.

To my relief, she didn't move. "I was just trying to do right by you," she said, the words a bit muffled against my shirt.

That made two of us. I kissed the top of her head, the only part of her I could reach without shrugging her off of me, and hoped it was enough to show her that we were in this together. The situation was delicate and confusing, but…we'd figure it out.

"And I want to do the same for you. Apparently it's not nearly as simple as it sounds," I said. Her stomach was still churning; when I felt another hunger pang from her, I gently nudged her away and added, "Finish eating. It's been weeks since you've had a proper meal."

And because Feyre was nothing if not completely impossible, she just glared at my eggs until I took a bite. I resisted the urge to point out that I wasn't the one who'd fought the Middengard Wyrm on a mostly-empty stomach and then gone to bed without bothering to eat dinner. The look in her eyes was becoming familiar, the one that told me she'd have my head if I balked at what she wanted.

I could guess, though, what she'd experienced to make her grow into the sort of person who ignored their own gnawing hunger with practiced ease, all while pushing someone else to finish what was on their plate.

"For what it's worth," she said eventually, "I don't want to go back across the Wall, at least not permanently. I want to see for myself that my family is safe, but there's nothing left for me there."

Feyre wanted to stay in the Night Court. Perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise, considering how at home she looked here, but the relief was strong enough that if I'd been standing, my knees probably would have gone weak.

But that wasn't the point, so I did my best not to look too obvious about it. Feyre had family out there somewhere, and the Mother only knew what lie Tamlin had spun when he'd ripped her from them. They probably thought she was dead.

And in a way, I supposed they were my family now, too. Azriel had likely already taken care of it—even if Feyre hadn't realized, accepting the bond had made her human family Night Court royalty by the laws of Prythian—but I made a mental note to confirm with him that they were under our protection.

"Then we'll go today," I said.

She stared at me in shock, which was strange. Tamlin had kidnapped her—of course making sure she reunited with her family was a priority.

"We don't have to. I don't want to pull you from Velaris when you've only just gotten back," she said.

And there it was again, that tricky matter of doing right by each other. It wasn't a concern, but…I understood why she'd think it was.

"I wouldn't begrudge you a reunion with you family after having one with mine last night." It was true, but it wasn't everything—the look she gave me made it obvious she knew that. If I'd been having this conversation with anyone else, I would have left things there, this was Feyre. It was safe to be honest with her. "There's quite a lot of work to do after the balance of power shifted and our…performance yesterday. The rest of the Inner Circle is handling it to spare me having to work so soon after returning. And...I don't know how to be around them just yet."

"Did something with them not go well last night?" she said after a moment.

I couldn't tell her what a mess I'd been; I wouldn't risk her feeling responsible for scaring me when she'd left. But I wouldn't lie, either. "Nothing like that, but last night we were all so relieved we didn't really talk. We're all furious with each other, and I'm not looking forward to facing it."

"We'll go to the mortal lands another day, when you don't look dead on your feet." I winced—Cauldron, I hadn't realized I'd looked that bad. It had been a sleepless night, though. Feyre must have misunderstood because she continued, "We don't get along. It's…complicated."

That was hardly a surprise, something I'd suspected was true since that first conversation in her cell Under the Mountain. The morning after Calanmai, I'd written it off as healthy suspicion of a faerie claiming to be her mate after what must have been an incredibly strange night, but even then, Feyre had clearly struggled to believe someone else might be in her corner. It had probably kept her safe. But…people from happy families didn't think like that.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do try to stay out of your head. I don't even know how many siblings you have." It was the truth, but she wouldn't be the first person to accuse me of sneaking past mental shields to poke around for information. I wasn't above prying if it were someone else, but I'd never do that to her.

She seemed to believe me, at least. And then somehow we found ourselves in the middle of a conversation about our sisters, chatting as if we'd always eaten breakfast together. I'd dreamed about being here with her, about things being this comfortable and easy, but it had always been just a dream, a pleasant imagining to get lost in and forget about being Under the Mountain for a while.

But now it was a reality, and I let myself slip into it.

It only lasted so long, though. The exhaustion of two nights without sleep was bound to catch up to me, and from the way Feyre was stretching, I could tell she was sore from her fight with the Wyrm. I wanted to get her off her feet and resting again.

"Let's get you back to the townhouse so you can sleep," she said.

"I'm not sure I can." I needed it, but I wasn't sure I could relax enough to manage.

"You're going to collapse if you don't." The words came out a bit sharp, and she must have realized it because she spoke more softly as she added, "Try falling asleep on me. My scent helps, doesn't it?"

"You don't have to do that." There was nothing more soothing than Feyre's lilac-and-pear scent, but after what she'd just told me about her family, I didn't want to be another person depending on her. Feyre was only nineteen, but she'd already done more than enough caretaking to last a lifetime.

She stepped closer, taking both of my hands, and I had a sudden urge to pull her flush against me. Cauldron, it was as if the mating bond wouldn't let up.

"Now that I've eaten, I'm taken care of. It's your turn. We'll get back to the townhouse, and I promise once you're asleep I'll stay so you don't wake up alone."

I started to say something else to reassure her that I wouldn't be be another burden for her shoulder, but before I could, she'd closed the distance between us and kissed me. I lost my train of thought. At least, though, I wasn't the only one who'd wanted to be closer.

But as she pulled away, the realization that I wouldn't be able to fly her down to the street hit me like a punch to the gut. "My wings…I can't— I barely made it up here. I'm not strong enough to carry someone down, not anymore." I hadn't thought that far ahead when I told her I'd come to the House of Wind, and it had been a stupid oversight.

Some emotion I couldn't quite read flashed across Feyre's face for a moment. It was gone before I could ask, replaced by a smile I knew better than to point out that I could tell was forced.

"Then another day we'll see if you have the softest landings to go with the biggest wingspan."

I stilled, not sure I'd heard her correctly for a moment. It had been a very long time since I'd heard anyone make a joke about wingspan size. And to hear it come from the mouth of my human mate of all people…Mother above, who'd explained the significance of that to her?

I was suddenly very afraid to find out what my family had told her about me after she'd learned to shield.

But it was hard to be worried about anything with Feyre grinning at me, blue-grey eyes bright with mischief. She'd known exactly what she'd been doing. My heart squeezed as I let her tug me towards the stairs.

I'd never really enjoyed taking the stairs in the House of Wind, but it wasn't nearly as awful with Feyre there. I fought exhaustion the whole way, mostly making conversation to keep myself awake. I wasn't sure I'd survive the humiliation of passing out and being carried the rest of the way down.

The last thing I remember before sleep finally claimed me was her scent and her fingers running through my hair. I don't think I'd ever felt more safe.

But it was hard to stay asleep. Even though I probably could have passed out for a day—and needed it—I was stirring only a few hours later. Her scent was there again, still in my nose.

Just like it had been when I'd woken up from dreams of her Under the Mountain.

There was warm skin against my face. Perhaps…perhaps it had all been a dream and that skin belonged to—

No. No, it wasn't that bitch—the smell was coming from whoever's stomach my nose was resting against. I was still asleep on Feyre. Not a dream, then. She was still sitting here and had been for quite a while.

"Feyre?" I said. "You're still here."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said.

I sat up, a bit more alert now. Feyre brushed my cheek with her thumb, and I pressed my face against her hand, letting the feel of her skin on mine ground me in reality. "Your scent was in my dreams before I even met you. For a moment, I thought this might be a dream again."

"We made it out," she said, soft but insistent.

I nodded, repeating those words in my head and wondering when it wouldn't be so hard to believe them. Feyre pulled her hand away, and my eyes dropped to her tattoo.

I'd known about it, of course. I'd even seen it out of her eyes once or twice. She'd been glamoured Under the Mountain, and over breakfast I'd been too preoccupied with other things to really look closely. But now I did.

High Lady of the Night Court.

It wasn't her title yet, but it would be. I knew deep down in my bones that the design would be filled in the rest of the way one day. But there was still something miraculous about the tangible evidence before me that I wasn't just a lovestruck fool for thinking Feyre was nothing less than a queen.

The Night Court itself agreed with me.

There wasn't time to dwell on that. I'd rest more later—I wanted to check in with the rest of the Inner Circle and make sure that there hadn't been any new emergencies. I stood, unfurling my wings and smoothing out my tunic.

"I have to debrief with the Inner Circle this evening, and you should be present for that," I said, surprising even myself with how composed I sounded.

Feyre shot me another look. "Is it at all related to the dinner plans Azriel mentioned while you were asleep?"

"Ideally no, but it will be a working dinner if necessary."

She nodded, though she still looked hesitant, as if she were bracing herself for something before she said, "If someone's coming here from the House of Wind, then would they be able to bring my things?"

Feyre wanted to stay with me. Not just in the Night Court, but here. In the townhouse. She'd looked unsure of something, so I was careful not to overwhelm her by letting it show how utterly relieved and elated I was.

It did beg the question of who'd be sleeping where, though. And I wasn't ready to have the conversation. She'd already run off once, and I didn't want to presume she wanted to share a bed—and even if she did, I wasn't sure how she'd feel about my hands turning to talons when I had nightmares.

"You'll find them in the room across the hall from mine," I said, reaching out with my magic to move everything. It was so easy now that I was back to my full power.

As I left to wash up, I caught sight of a report from Azriel on the end table. That must have been why he'd dropped by, then. I reached out and found his mind, and at the first scrape of a talon, he let me in.

All is well, before you ask.

I gripped the edge of the sink, momentarily overwhelmed at the feeling of my brother's mind and the sound of his voice in my head again. It had been so long. I'd missed him.

Is it?

Yes. Sentries have been posted around the Archeron estate, and wards are in place. They're safe, and so is the Night Court. We'll see you at dinner.

Thank you.

I have one thing to show you, though.

There was a slight shift in Azriel's mind, a door opening to let me into a memory. I stepped through.

From Azriel's perspective, I saw myself asleep on the sofa earlier today, my head in Feyre's lap. The dark circles under my eyes were more prominent than I'd realized, and I'd spent so much time unable to look at myself Under the Mountain that I'd forgotten how pale I'd become—no wonder Feyre had seemed so worried this morning.

A warm feeling washed over Azriel at the sight of me resting and Feyre comfortable as she stroked my hair. Like everyone else, he'd been worried when she'd run off last night. It wasn't Azriel's business…but he'd been concerned about where Feyre and I stood all the same.

"He just got to sleep," Feyre was saying, low and threatening, "so if you're here to talk to him, it had better be urgent. Come back later if it's not."

The memory faded after that. As Azriel put his shields back up, he said, Make her happy, Rhys. She deserves it.

I wasn't sure what I'd expected, but Feyre—a human who'd only learned to properly throw a punch two months ago—had nearly picked a fight with one of the most powerful Illyrian warriors in history. All because she thought I needed rest.

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to kiss her again.

By some miracle, an underfed human teenager had appointed herself the protector of the High Lord of the Night Court. And I don't think I could have been in better hands.

I just stood there for a moment, blinking at my reflection and overwhelmed by how much I loved Feyre Archeron.

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

pact.

Another part of the yandere soulmate au.

MC and Mammon make their pact, levi stirs the pot, MC doesn't feel the bond because they are human.

Side note: in this au the boys are going to be a bit more rude due to the whole soul mate thing! But this is yandere so that was probably expected anyways tbh.

♡

You do not like Leviathan.

You tried to like him, really, you did, but he's just so rude. Of course, it's not in blatantly confrontational way. You actually sort of doubt the envy demon has the confidence for that. In fact, most of his actions are just petty, often coming off as demeaning and belittling. You're well aware that this is not enough to be consider hostile, however, it doesn't make you want to interact with him. Especially since it's hard to tell if that attitude is on purpose or not.

Well, at least, it was hard to tell. For the first few days you had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Tried to say that Levi was just shy and anxious and had terrible social skills. He didn't mean to be so dismissive and judgemental. Perhaps this rationalizations was just your way of trying to cope with this new land, but whatever one may call it, the conclusion it brought you to was utterly wrong.

Levi didn't want to be your friend, and as you stand here now, looking at the golden marking that's shown up on your palm, you can admit to yourself that he still doesn't want to be your friend. All he wanted was to get his money back from Mammon. He didn't care about you, or you interests, or even your attempts to become closer to him. No, he just wanted to use you to force Mammon to pay back his debts.

It makes you feel gross. The trust you gave to the demon seems like it was just thrown back at you with little regard to your efforts. And you guess it sort of was. Levi didn't really need you, nor did he want you, and with that came the manipulative attitude that nearly had you in a puddle of your own tears.

You suppose it also doesn't help that he had talked you into doing something you weren't familiar with. Obviously making a pact with a demon isn't something one does everyday. Doing so with such an outwardly bratty demon is probably even less common. Despite these statistics, you try not to question these two factors, because there really isn't any changing them now. Mammon and you have made a pact. You have to live with whatever that means.

Levi didn't explain much about it, just gave what you might consider to be a very basic rundown. He told you, with delight, that you could order Mammon around. Of couse, this was basically the whole reasoning for him asking you to make the pact in the first place. Despite knowing this, you agreed, still hoping to gain some sort of friend in this unfamiliar place.

Plus, you did also want to put the greed demon in his place, if only for your own petty reasons. He hadn't been exactly the nicest to you when you arrived. So this felt like a two birds, one stone situation. At least, it did, until you realized that you don't exactly understand the commitment Levi is asking you to make. Which was unfortunately something you only thought about after it happened.

"So that's it?" You question as soon as the golden glow begins to die down, turning into something that resembles more of a tattoo then a magical demon marking. The space feels a little weird. Not bad, but not exactly good either. Just warm and unnaturally reactive to your touch.

"Yeah," Levi replies, his tone reflecting his inner feelings. Its clear that he's obviously excited, most certaintly at the prospect of getting his money back, "Now tell him to give me my money back!"

His enthusiasm is admittedly a little much. You're actually expecting some sort of reply from Mammon just because of it. Perhaps anger, or even just a petty jab as an expression of his frustrations. However, nothing comes.

No, upon looking over, you realize Mammon seems a little too shocked to do much of anything.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

for the ask game:

apple white

raven queen

maddie hatter

lizzie hearts

dexter charming

(Put 5 characters in my ask and I'll put them in my preference order.)

Thanks for the ask @cowboysurge!

Five: Dexter Charming.

He's not a bad character, by any means. He just ... doesn't interest me as much as the others. But I like his interactions with Raven. They're not my OTP, but they're a cute couple.

Four: Lizzie Hearts.

Her design is creative and interesting, and I really enjoyed her "Off with their head!" running gag. I might like her more if I saw her in action in Way Too Wonderland; I've only seen clips of that special, not the whole thing. (Also, I think the attempt at an English accent was a bit dodgy.)

Three: Maddie Hatter.

She's a fun character to watch - cheerful and goofy, but not to the point of annoyance. She's a supportive, encouraging friend for Raven. She gets some of the funniest lines. Her design is really cool, especially her bouffant multi-coloured hair. And I like the fact that she shares a voice actress with Amy Rose. I love it when I find connections between my special interests.

Two: Raven Queen.

I keep switching between Raven and Apple for the top spot. (Which is amusing, because I also quite like how they switch roles - Apple sometimes acts like an Evil Queen even though she's supposed to become Snow White.)

Right now, Raven's in second place, but not by much.

Raven appeals to me because of her mixture of strength and vulnerability. She's strong because she stands up for what she believes in, and she's determined to make things better for herself and for others like her. And she's got cool magic powers to boot! But she's also vulnerable because she has to struggle against the assumptions people make about her and the boxes they want to put her in. And she's clearly deeply affected by her mother's notoriety.

Raven is arguably the main character of Ever After High. The overarching plot is kicked into action because she doesn't want to follow her destiny. Unlike previous Rebels, who kept their transgressions a secret, Raven makes her act of defiance in a very public manner, and it encourages others to follow suit. Her story could be read as a metaphor for a member of a marginalised group fighting to change a system that holds people back for no good reason. Raven's quite inspiring, in that way.

The only thing I don't like about Raven is her hairstyle. I don't think it's the most flattering look.

One: Apple White.

Oh, Apple. Some people love her, some people hate her. I'm in the former category.

Don't get me wrong, I know she's flawed. She's so focused on what she wants that she doesn't stop to consider what other people might be going through. She sometimes says really insensitive things because of this. She claims to be friends with Raven, but keeps trying to push her to do things she doesn't want to do (including, but not limited to, poisoning her). And sometimes her dialogue sounds uncomfortably smug.

But I think it's precisely these flaws that make Apple an interesting character. She symbolises the kind of person who's benefitted greatly from an unjust system, and is scared to shake things up out of fear of what it'll mean to them personally. It's the old "To the privileged, equality feels like oppression" problem. By spending time with her, we get to understand that mindset - and we're perhaps forced to confront it in ourselves.

There could be another angle to Apple's resistance to change: an autistic headcanon. She's a logical thinker who likes to follow the rules and do things by the book (unlike Raven, who's more of a creative problem-solver). I like the idea that Apple is anxious about the future and that change is a major cause of stress for her. It does complicate the privileged-ruling-class metaphor, but hey, I enjoy a bit of complexity.

I also find it really interesting that Apple is a hard worker. She doesn't need to be. She's got her future all planned out; she's guaranteed to be loved by all. But she doesn't rest on her birthright laurels. She studies hard in school. She takes on leadership roles as practice for becoming queen. She tries to help people and address their concerns, although she doesn't always succeed. Apple wants to become the most beloved queen ever, and I can admire that determination.

And then there's the headcanon that Apple is a lesbian and didn't realise it because of comphet. It's a kiss from another girl, not her supposed Prince Charming, that wakes her from her cursed sleep in Dragon Games. Can you imagine how much that would shake her up? To believe her whole life that she's destined to be with a prince, so she accepts it despite her lack of chemistry with her prince because it's destiny and destiny is never wrong, only to discover that she might actually be attracted to women instead?

Again, that would mix up the privileged-ruling-class metaphor. Imagine if Apple realising she didn't fit the queen-to-be mould as she was "supposed" to, realising she was closer to the oppressed than she'd care to admit, was the thing that sparked her change of heart from Royal to Rebel. Now that would be interesting.

(Oh, and her hair. I love her hair. It looks so thick and soft.)

Apple White is many things at once, and that's why I love her.

[pixelkip]

Hey u wanna see how hard I can ramble about homestuck classpects AND hazy river character analysis at the same time?? Too bad!! You will!!

SO holy fuck I've been trying to come up with homestuck classpects for Annie and garcello for the LONGEST time and Annie has ALWAYS been a problem area for me cause of her lack of real story and canon characterization

Garcello imo is a rogue of doom, the rogue class steals their aspect for the betterment of others and well.... "stealing doom" in a way for someone else's benefit is literally exactly what he does in seos!! And the description of a doom player's personality really does fit him!! Easy right?

But then Annie. Oh my fucking gog

She has almost 0 canon dialogue and little to no story. The only instances of her even talking were the butter comic and snowed in. We might have some backstory shit that's been shared around before and Drowning of course but other than that she doesn't have much of a real storyline.

I've discussed this on discord and a lot of ideas were thrown around like maybe void, for her aspect, which does fit in a meta sense considering all beyond-surface-level characterization for her is pretty hard to find or completely unknown, and I've thought about either time or hope or rage being her aspect based on personality descriptions and her weaponizing rage in her liquid form but none seemed to really fit perfectly for her, especially when trying to pick a class.

(Before you bring up seos with lyrics as much as I ADORE how Annie is acted in it holy fuck dude it still gives me chills it is not canon)

Then it fucking hit me. Hope is literally perfect in a meta sense (and I'm operating on homestuck logic so I'm allowed to do that hehehhehe)

How we perceive Annie as a character is based a ton on fanon. Ideas like her having self esteem issues, for example, were extrapolated by fandom because of Good Enough being her first song. The butter comic, the first of only 2 times she's spoken in any official capacity, came from THE FANDOM MAKING SHIT UP and then anne making a comic based on it. Other bits of characterization from discord were gleaned from THE FANDOM ACTIVELY WANTING IT.

The hope aspect in homestuck is strongly connected with believing in something so hard it becomes real. This is seen with Jake's creation of brain ghost dirk, and eridan making a plain ass wand and then believing it's some powerful God weapon, and then it actually being powerful

Do. Do you see what I'm getting at here. Her whole character is heavily based in what we think it is based on what little we have. If that doesn't make her being a hope player fucking perfect i don't know what does.

As for class tho I'm a little bit stumped. I'm feeling like maybe witch since the 2 most prominent witches in homestuck do remind me a lot of her, personality-wise. They're also characters who have a particularly strong connection with the magic and power their classpect gives them. Jade's been experiencing the weird magicy shit that relates to her role within sburb and homestuck's narrative her whole life. Feferi's biggest move as the witch of life is very personal to her, talking to the horrorterrors to create the dream bubbles was only possible cause of her existing connection to a similar creature, being her lusus.

And annies liquid, while already being just a badass magical tool by itself, feels an awful lot like an extension of her energetic, over-the-top personality. Just more violent. The fact it canonically makes her more animalistic and instinctual just carries on her existing animal theming.

Also hope has a lotta religious theming and Annie has been connected with imagery of devil horns a LOT. Just thought that was neat.

Annieway tldr after over a year of thinking about this and having an epiphany watching a laureledeevees video about Jake English and lots of wiki and extended zodiac reading.. Garcello is a rogue of doom and Annie is a witch of hope

Disclaimer I am not the best at classpecting ik to people ho do this a lot I probably interpreted some stuff weirdly please don't murder me sjgjkdjgkdjf

[realityhelixcreates]

About that Lasa tag, the one saying reader and Loki are bisexual, it is pretty easy to notice about reader! Not so much Loki, I think?. I feel like one of the reasons I like Loki so much is because he reads like a very much queer man in a very gendered and strict warrior culture civilization. Like, his main thing is magic, right? magic, in Asgard, reads very feminine, at least it does to me. Also Loki is kind of scrawny when compared to other asgardians, dresses very differently, etc. He is genuinely an outcast/very different in asgardian society! I think lasa would benefit from showing that? I mean, if you want for him to read more bisexual? Also, at some point in the story loki says something along the lines of being able of turning into a woman at will... Is he genderfluid in lasa? That line of dialogue made me so happy, even if he said it as a throwaway line and it is actually not a common thing for him to do, the fact that he is comfortable enough to say that he can become a woman at any point is great. I would love to see how he navigates asgardian culture through his eyes instead of reader's eyes, she kind of sees the best in him but I'm sure many people in asgard do not like him at all, not only because he is a giant, but because he reads very queer. I'm not saying you should listen to my advice or do what I say or anything! Just giving my opinion, I love your loki a whole lot and, after reading shards of the nexus, it has kind of made me realize that you are very good at writing queer experiences. If that makes sense? Sorry I'm rambling at this point.

Oh my goodness I don't really know what to say. I've never been good at answering compliments, but I'm touched. I've been surrounded by queer people for a good portion of my life, but it's only been recently that I've come to understand the sheer variety of human expression enough to realize it was a label I could apply to myself. I still hesitate at times because I'm queer in such a specific way, that I easily pass as straight, but still...I'm also not.

When it comes to Lasa, I feel like it was easy to notice on the Reader's part because we are looking through her eyes! But with Loki, since it hasn't come up organically, we come to know him through context clues. He says he can shapeshift into a woman. Later, he tells us that his shapeshifting is not an illusion, that his body fully changes into the shape he takes, which is why he can be safely touched in Asgardian shape, but not in Jotun shape. Thus we can take that to mean that, when he shapeshifts into a woman, she is a woman. To me at least, that makes his genderfluidity both contextual and clear, yet also incidental, because the shape he's most comfortable in is the one we always see. In this way, his genderfluidity is like my queerness: not obvious to everyone, but no less a part of him.

As for the gendering of Asgard, I think it is more complex. I don't think magic is more feminine, I think it's more rare. We see very few people actively use magic in Asgard. Only Loki and Frigga, in fact. It could be argued that Hela uses magic to summon her spikes, but never more than that. However, we do have context clues that Odin also uses magic. One could also argue that Heimdall does as well. That is more men than women (Which, if you ask me, only says something damning about the number of women in the Thor movies, but that's a discussion that's been done to death, and I don't think I have anything unique to add.)

Likewise, I don't think woman warriors were all that rare in Asgard either. Frigga is shown to be incredible with a sword, Sif too. Yeah, all the einherjar were men, but I also think that was just to make them all look the same. You don't have an entire battalion of top woman warriors to be your valkyries, without also having legions of women warriors that were just a little less talented than that. Hela, of course, was better than everybody.

Some people might point to the things Thor said to Sif and Valkyrie about woman Asgardian warriors to show a gender divide there, but I would also point out that both of those times, Thor was trying to manipulate them into doing something for him. He's not a reliable narrator.

Even unnamed women are insinuated to be fighters. In Ragnarok, the two ladies Skurge was trying to impress with his collection were shown later on the Bifrost, and if you look close, they both have swords. Check it out:

Fun fact: I've headcannoned the dark haired lady as Saldis, and the young man beside her as Andsvarr.

I think Loki's outcast status was mainly confined to within his own circle in the palace. That his friends were actually Thor's friends, which is a trouble that younger siblings the universe over can relate to, I think. We are shown very little of the common Asgardian populace, and I don't think the royals spent much time with them, so I don't really think they have much of an informed opinion on either prince, beyond palace propaganda. When Loki meets them on the bridge, they don't have much of a reaction to him, or Thor.

Now, this has just left me to fill in the blanks with whatever drama I see fit, which is why Alarr and Gloa are the way they are.

Shards really does give me the opportunity to explore so many diverse queer experiences, from the very obvious to the near invisible, from the joyous to the suffering, and from the ignorant to the growth. It's so great, and I love doing it.

[swagsublimemilkshake]

The Anthony Robins Guide To MAGIC MUSHROOMS UK

As per researchers, magic mushrooms reduce rigidity and misery largely as a result of sensation of passion and remaining "one" with just about anything. Ukmagicmushrooms This provides about an adjustment With all the cerebrum, or brain adaptability. "Concentrates on employing MRI imaging Display screen psilocybin adjusts brain motion, acquiring into account correspondence involving locations of your cerebrum that ordinarily Genuinely You should not affiliate. This actually is acknowledged to become important for the leap forwards folks report."

Just careless teenagers and flower young small children considered for even a next to stumble on magic mushrooms Beforehand. Not any longer.

In standpoint of two ongoing examinations, magic mushrooms United kingdom Or even the hallucinogenic medication psilocybin, may have critical strengths for sickness consumers encountering stress and discouragement. Only one portion gave eighty% of persons alleviation from nervousness for really pretty buy magic mushrooms in uk some time. Some ended up even now uneasiness entirely free of charge four yrs pursuing the position.

In accordance with scientists, magic mushrooms simplicity pressure and distress mainly because of the feeling of affection and receiving "just one" with Just about anything. Ukmagicmushrooms This will cause an adjustment in the cerebrum, or brain adaptability. "Concentrates on making use of MRI imaging demonstrate psilocybin adjusts Mind movement, receiving into consideration correspondence involving parts of your cerebrum that generally In no way associate. This definitely is approved to have important for the leap forwards individuals report."

During the December a single, 2016 Time Journal short article, Dinah Bazer recounts her know-how having a solitary proportion of psilocybin in an evaluation at NYU Langone Health treatment Coronary heart.

Dinah expressed that originally she felt dread and as was she "tumbling by way of Space." Right after remaining quieted with the experts directing her, she had the option to unwind and take into account her trepidation becoming a darkish mass inside of her Total entire body. She assumed command and asked for the darkish mass out, and it vanished.

She then, at that time, "... started to perception appreciate. I felt like I had been currently being washed in adoration and its as overpowering, astonishing, amazing... The emotion of colossal enjoy waited for alternatively an incredibly very long time, just following 4 quite a long time I in fact come to truly feel it from time to time. My trepidation and nervousness ended up fully eradicated, and in order that they haven't returned... The come upon modified how I necessary to preserve it up with my daily living... I produced usage of to envision what it might resemble assuming the malignant growth recurring, nonetheless I don't contemplate it the very same way any more. At The purpose when I tend not to seriously truly feel terrific and things to consider with the repeat creep into my psyche, I want dread and proficiently Think about, 'We should just see what occurs.'"

Practically nothing is exempt from the forces of gravity

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Unquestionably, even in managed circumstances, we are even now really cautious that the benefits of magic mushrooms offset the potential risks. This assists us to remember how sure individuals assure bong hits of weed make not several or no facet impacts. However Noticeably we would have to some degree not acknowledged it within our late adolescents, we now consider all psyche shifting medicines adversely affect thoughts and psychological wellness, block profound development, and will draw in pessimistic substances and otherworldly miscreants.

Moreover, It really is vital to consider The actual difficulties of sprucing off intellect-transforming medicines (and abundance liquor), which may integrate nutrient/mineral lacks, liver troubles, psychological problems, and that's just the beginning.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/TWx3pe0gQbo/hqdefault_162900.jpg

Alternative in difference To Magic Mushrooms For Depression and Pressure and anxiousness

As an alternative to concealing wretchedness and nervousness with medicines and experiencing the aftereffects, or using magic mushrooms and receiving a chance With all the conceivable secondary penalties, How about distinguishing and managing the wellspring of The difficulty?

We have seen that a lot of troubles might have a Real Actual physical, near to home, psychological, and otherworldly part. Once in a while, When you tackle the otherworldly part, the Some Other individuals are a lot more uncomplicated to deal with or try to vanish.

Subsequent to using our cost-free Spiritual Detox script for truly a really very long time, daily for timeframes (which, For example stripping an onion, In addition eradicates a layer of damaging examples each and every time), and thinking about major alterations by they way we expertise and our Notion and mindfulness, we have been persuaded of the significance of discovering varieties self free from otherworldly trash. At The purpose after we perception nervousness or discouragement, we have to possess 10 minutes and look through the prepared written content without the require of Keeping again. Thusly we usher in strong profound assistants from one other component that Assemble up the hid trash and we inside of a flash vibe much better. It is so standard, selected individuals fight with accepting it till they consider it, nonetheless it definitely functions.

You might be blended up assuming you rely on that most vital absolutely the most pained Guys and ladies, or medication junkies or drunkards have profound trash ready. A great deal like Every person receives actually grimy from day to day existence, Plenty of people will get detrimental Electricity in each and every position, sometimes as discarnate and boring issues. The greater compassionate and fragile that you are to it, the better you'd benefit from a standard clearing.

Having strategy variants and customary activity have by now been demonstrated getting considerably more highly effective than meds for despondency. Deal with your profound, in close proximity to to residence, and psychological sides by adding some kind of standard otherworldly clearing, (By the use of illustration, our Spiritual Detox script) together with typical contemplation, and you have got a triumphant, incidental impact Certainly cost-free blend.

For considerably extra considerable enhancement, we prescribe Similarly introducing previous existence relapse to locate the elementary driver of any problem. Sadly, a number of persons will never annoy within the grounds which they've succumbed for your legends and glitches above it devoid of executing their unique assessment. Alternatively, for the those who will keep on to become focus on and appear to be far more, this otherworldly instrument and Other people referenced greater than may well give mindfulness and alleviation.

[kohanayaki]

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 3

Continuing the story of how you and Sirius became friends; as James and Remus grow closer to you, Sirius continues to treat you coldly until a late night encounter makes him question everything.

LINKS:   CH 1   CH 2   CH 3   CH 4   CH 5   CH 6   CH 7   CH 8

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Ch 3 .:Resistance and Reconciliation:.

~Previously~

“I'm not going to bother making friends with someone whose family is so wrapped up in blood politics they forget to be human beings first. Trust me, I've met their mother enough times to know.”

“Did you ever ask them about it?” Remus pressed.

“I don't really need to, do I? They're a (L/n). Open your eyes, Moony!”

Remus' brow furrowed, a shine in his eyes akin to sympathy as he regarded Sirius.

“Perhaps it's you that needs to clear your vision, friend.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1974  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius sat on the stone ledge on the window of his dorm room, looking out towards the Black Lake. He could see the push and pull of the wind as the thin branches of the ash trees bowed gently with the rhythm. In the reflection of the glass he could see James and Peter behind him experimenting with an altered set of wizard's chess, complete with fire-breathing knights and bishops that threw daggers, while one of Remus' records spun in the background.

Despite everything he could have been thinking about at the moment, his thoughts, irritatingly enough, drifted to you. He frowned slightly as he leaned his shoulder against the window, annoyed that you occupied even a portion of his mind. He just couldn't understand you. Somehow you had turned James, who had once openly proclaimed you his sworn enemy, into something close to a friend in the span of a year. You had no qualms with pranks pulled on you, yet you were fiercely protective when they were directed at others. You were always smiling, yet your temper took no prisoners. If you weren't a Slytherin you might even be attractive.

The thought made him bolt upright. Where the hell did that come from? He almost laughed. No. Absolutely not. He was Sirius Black, he could get anyone he wanted in this bloody school, and he certainly wasn't going to busy his mind with you. What the hell was wrong with him? It's not like he noticed the way you smiled to yourself when you were reading, or the fact that the sound of your laugh got stuck in his head like a song—

No. Stop it. Get your head straight, they're evil.

Sirius exhaled deeply, rubbing his tired eyes with his hands. For some reason that thought didn't sit right in his brain, and the longer he sat with it he came to a horrifying conclusion:

Maybe Remus was right.

The only time you'd really been nasty to them was when they'd instigated it first, or whenever they had a go at Snivelus, which had become less and less frequent; Sirius suspected because of your tentative friendship with James. He'd always just assumed you were like the other Slytherins he'd come to know. There's been hearsay circulating around you, especially given your family's reputation, but you yourself hadn't really done anything to prove the rumors. Maybe you really weren't like your family at all. Maybe you were like him. . .

Suddenly, he caught movement in the corner of his eye, not from his friend's reflections but from outside the window itself. A figure emerged from the lamplight of the castle gate, making their way towards the edge of the forest. If the green lining of your school robes and (h/c) hair didn't peak his interest, the flash that he saw of your face as you shot a quick glance over your shoulder confirmed it was you.

Sirius' mind began racing as he watched you disappear into the foliage, and suddenly every thought that had given you the benefit of the doubt vanished. He'd heard the rumors about the gatherings in the forest, everyone had. He'd even caught Snape practicing dark magic there himself one of the first nights they'd used the Shrieking Shack passageway.

He jumped off his perch by the window and grabbed a sheet of parchment and a quill, drawing a rough outline of the perimeter of the forest. He labeled the Black Lake so his spell would have a going off point and pressed his wand to the still drying ink.

“Revelare Popularis,”

The enchantment was a work in progress— a technique he'd learned from a seventh year. It wasn't exact, but it was enough to tell him if anyone else was in the forest right now. His eyes darted across the paper as he scanned his makeshift map, and the color drained from his face as he saw names suddenly appear in a cluster by the lake: Mulciber, Wilkes, Avery, and Malfoy.

Was this it? Were you really one of them? 

James looked up from his game as he saw Sirius grab his leather jacket off where it hung from his bedpost.

“Going somewhere?”

“(L/n) just went into the forest,” Sirius said, “I'm following them.”

“Why, Sirius?” Remus said sardonically, having had enough of his unusual grudge against you, “We're not really ones to talk when it comes to sneaking around the forest at night, now are we?”

“He's got a point,” James said, “I mean, what do you think you're going to see?”

“What do I think?” Sirius scoffed, pushing the paper into Jame's hands, “what does it look like?”

James looked down at the parchment blankly.

“What am I looking at?”

“A variation on Revelio,” Sirius explained quickly, “if you have a location in mind it shows you who's there, but only at the time the charm is cast.”

“Are you kidding me?” James' jaw nearly dropped, “You're just now showing this to us? We could have been taking advantage of this spell to dodge Filch this whole time!”

“I'm serious.”

James had to fight hard not to make a joke out of that one.

“If (L/n)'s meeting up with those guys it can't be for anything good,” Sirius continued, “and I'm gonna find out exactly why.”

Before any of the boys could get another word in, Sirius took off running down the corridor. James groaned, rebelling against the urge to slam his head into the wall.  

“I've got to stop him before he does something stupid,” he said, pulling a coat on over his shoulders, “You with me, Remus?”

“Probably not the best idea,” Lupin reminded him, “the moon's full tomorrow. I won't turn, but in the direct moonlight I may get a bit. . . well, you know.”

“Right,” James sighed, running a hand through his hair in distress, “Peter?”

The boy jolted as he was addressed, his eyes quickly cast down to his twiddling fingers.

“I. . . w-well. . .”

“Fine,” James said, waving them off in annoyance, “I'll go at him alone.”

___________________________________________________

You took a grateful breath of the crisp night air, letting the wind whistle through your hair and clothes. You loved your common room, but it could feel constricting at times, especially when there were nights as beautiful as this taking place.

Your eyes drifted up to the moon, smiling at the sight of it. It was nearly full, only a sliver of white missing from the very edge of the sphere. The sight alone was enough to make you feel more at home in your own skin, an inexplicable sense of comfort washing over you. You hadn't been able to really let loose and just run in so long. You'd made doubly sure no one had followed you into the forest, but you still gave your surroundings a quick once over. You jumped as the sound of leaves crunching suddenly asserted itself behind you and you lit your wand quickly, turning to see who it was.

“. . . Black?”

“Sorry, were you expecting someone else? One of your pureblood friends, maybe?”

The confused look on your face only made his anger flare.

“Don't act coy,” he asked harshly, “just what are you playing at?”

Your back straightened in surprise, taken aback by his words.

“Excuse me?”

“I've seen you talking to my brother, Rosier, Snivelus, and all those other Slytherins. Don't think I don't know what you're doing,” the words flew out of his mouth before they had time to pass through his brain, every irrational irritation he had regarding you spewing out of him at once, “I've had to sit through it, you know. All those dinners where my parents talk blood politics with all the fanatics who think just like them. I've listened to your mother brag all about your pure blood line and how her child is 'so eager to carry on the family traditions'. So whatever you're planning by getting close to James, I'm not going to let it happen.”

You felt like you were frozen in place, staring at him as your throat tightened into knots.

“My mom?” you said, voice suddenly small, “Sirius. . . my mom passed away when I was little.”

Your words hit the Gryffindor like a truck.

“. . . what?” he asked dumbly, his brain delaying slightly in processing what you'd just said.

“She got sick. . . an experimental spell gone wrong. If you met someone with my family's name that spoke like that, it was probably my aunt. My cousin goes to Ilvermorny. That's the child she's talking about, not me. The divide between purebloods and muggleborns is even more severe in America, if you can believe it. . . ”

Sirius faltered, this new information going against everything he'd heard and thought he knew about you and your family.

“But,” he hesitated, “your father—”

“Put up the image he had to in order to keep me safe,” you said. You knew he was documented as being very open about his pureblood pride and distaste towards muggles, but it was a cover more than anything, “Since he stopped speaking with my aunt and moved us both away from the estate, she's acted as the new head of the (L/n) House, and that was years ago. . .”

You trailed off awkwardly, not feeling very self-righteous in your explanation.

“I know my family doesn't have the best reputation. . . that's probably why you hate me, huh?” you chuckled humorlessly, wincing at how harsh the words came out. But if you were honest, you were hurt that out of everyone in their group, Sirius was the one that didn't even seem to want to give you a chance. You were the one who had extended the olive branch in the first place on the condition that they ease up on Severus.

“Hate you?” Sirius echoed hollowly, feeling guilt creep up on him like a shadow, “that's. . . shit, no, that's not—”

“Everte Statum!”

You gasped as Sirius was suddenly shot backwards, his body flipping wildly through the air from the force before being slammed against the trunk of a nearby tree. His head spun, heavily disoriented as his vision shifted in shades.

You had drawn your wand on instinct, looking around for your attackers when you saw a black-clad figure lift their hood, revealing a long mane of white hair that stood out starkly in the night.  

Malfoy.

“Well, looky here,” Mulciber taunted, revealing himself behind you, “we've caught the two biggest blood traitors of the last century having a touching little moment together.”

Laughter echoed from the trees, Wilkes emerging from the shadows. You took up a defensive position as their group surrounded you.

“Now, let's not be hasty, Mulciber,” Lucius said, “their father may have disgraced their house, yes, but they didn't have a choice. It's not too late for them to make the right one now.” His lips turned up into a snarl as he regarded Sirius, “get away from that blood traitor, (L/n), he'll rub off on you.”

You grit your teeth hard, preparing to cast a spell when Malfoy put his hand up in a silencing gesture, the pretentious little prat.

“Ah, you don't want to make any rash moves either, (L/n),” he said, looking to your left. You followed his gaze to see Avery coming out of the foliage, grappling with someone under his arm.

“Potter?!”

James smiled weakly as Avery held him in a choke hold, a bit of blood dripping down the side of his head.

“Hey,” he said, humor still light in his voice, “So, this didn't exactly work out as planned.” He groaned as Avery's elbow was driven into his stomach, effectively silencing him.

As soon as you tried to move towards him, Lucius had his wand pointed at you.

“Let him go and get lost, Malfoy,” you said lowly, “you've taken this far enough.”

“You've been avoiding us, (L/n),” Lucius said, ignoring you entirely, “Snape may have come up with some rubbish excuses for you earlier, but you can't keep running from this.”

“If practicing curses on first years and terrorizing other people is how you plan on using magic, then I don't want any part of your little cult,” you spat, “face it, Malfoy— you lot need me, but I don't need you.”

Lucius exhaled sharply, his genuine surprise at your resistance replaced quickly with anger.

“Think about what you're doing, (L/n),” he said, his eyes narrowing dangerously, “don't be a fool like your father.”

That did it.

With a growl you unleashed an orange bolt of energy from your wand, your Stupefy hitting Lucius square in the chest. Mulciber was quick to retaliate with a jinx of his own, which you quickly nullified with a shield charm. Shock flashed across his expression at your casual use of nonverbal magic, and he recovered one second too late.

Sirius was back on his feet, petrifying Mulciber and swatting Wilkes away like a fly with the knockback jinx before either could cast a spell at you. You and Sirius found yourselves back to back, fending off Lucius as he continued to direct a steady stream of curses in your direction. Sirius managed to create an opening for you and you turned to where James was being held.

“Evanossa!”

A flash of blue hit Avery, who shrieked in horror when he saw that the arm he was using to hold Potter had turned gelatinous, fingers drooping down like melting ice cream. James wasted no time paying him back in kind for roughing him up earlier, sending him flying into the oak tree and using the water from the Black Lake to freeze him there before joining you in the fray.

“Expelliarmus!” he called out, sending Wilke's wand spinning out of his reach and leaving only Malfoy against the three of you.

Lucius faltered for a moment as he stared down your group of three, but held fast.

“Leave it, Malfoy,” you said, “it's over.”

He growled under his breath, taking up an obvious offensive stance, but you were too quick.

“Ebublio!”

Lucius gasped as he suddenly found himself encased in a giant bubble, his knockback jinx ricocheting off the inside and hitting him in the back of the head. He pounded against the bubble in frustration but found it to be thick as Plexiglas and just as strong, unable to pop it. Suddenly, he was hoisted into the air as you raised your wand higher, directing him farther and farther away until he was hovering directly over the Black Lake.

“Let me go this instant!” he growled.

A devilish smile graced your features.

“You got it.”

“No, wait, don't you dar—AHH!!”

You turned your back on him, your breaking eye contact promptly bursting the bubble and sending him flailing into the water a few feet below.

You chuckled as you sent a few quick counter-jinxes out from your wand, restoring Mulciber's range of motion and liquefying the ice that trapped Avery.

As soon as Mulciber was unpetrified he took off running towards the Lake where Lucius was furiously treading water, tripping over his feet as he dragged Wilkes along with him. Avery limped after them, defrosted but still chilled to his bones (which you had been so kind to also restore).

“I'd fish him out quickly if I were you,” you called after them, “the giant squid is more active at night.”

“You're out of your mind, (L/n)!” Avery turned around and yelled, but with fear evident in his eyes, “You'll live to regret this, mark my words. The Headmaster—”

“Would love to know who cast the first spell, I'm sure,” you said darkly.

Avery stammered out some lame response under his breath before turning around and running after the rest of group, retreating.

Sirius turned to look at you, awestruck and chocked full of adrenaline. Maybe you really weren't so bad after all.

“That was. . .” James trailed off, grasping for the words and blurting them out as soon as he found them, “Brilliant, (Y/n). You're bloody brilliant.”

You felt your face heat up, not expecting that. You and James had stopped trading insults and threats (serious ones, anyways) and your teasing had become well meant, but neither of you had crossed the threshold of actually paying the other a compliment before.

“Thanks, Potter,” you said, unable to fight the smile on your face. You turned to Sirius briefly. “I hope this cleared some things up for us,” you said, “I'd really like to try and be friends, so. . .”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, wanting to kick himself at the way you turned him into a monosyllabic neanderthal with just a look. You gave him a small smile before turning back to James who was trying desperately to hide his limp and aching rib cage.

“Alright, let's get you to the hospital wing, Potter,” you sighed, “you look like a cheap action star in a muggle movie.”

“Uh,” James said nervously, “better we not. If I go to Madame Pomfrey three times in one day she'll never let me hear the end of it.”

“And who's fault is that?” You huffed, slinging an arm over his shoulder and helping him walk, “at least let me patch you up, then.”

Sirius followed some distance behind you, watching as you walked James back towards the castle and laughed at his occasional jokes. This one night had just turned everything upside down for Sirius. This whole time he was sure that he didn't like you because you were a blood-purist Slytherin and he was jealous that you were taking his best friend away from him; but the way you had stood up to Lucius and his goons made your position on blood politics very clear, and the tight feeling that struck Sirius' chest as he watched you cozy up with James made him reevaluate just which one of you he was jealous of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sirius?”

The man blinked, slowly coming back to reality. You were looking up at him in concern, your head resting lightly on his shoulder. It took an embarrassing amount of his willpower to keep from leaning forward just a few inches and kissing you.

Could you pick a worse time, you numbskull? He thought, mentally smacking himself for even thinking about it.

“Are you okay?” you asked hesitantly after he stayed silent.

“I'm alright,” he insisted, giving you a reassuring smile, “just. . . thinking about how far we've come.”

His answer surprised you, though not in a bad way.

“I suppose we have,” you smiled back, “this is a far cry from you scowling at me from across the Great Hall over your breakfast.”

“I did not scowl,” Sirius scoffed playfully, nudging you away with his shoulder.

“Right,” you grinned, “scowling, glaring, glowering, whichever you prefer.”

“I said I was sorry,” he said, putting his hands up in mock surrender, although you both knew you weren't really upset about it. You'd long since forgiven him for his initial misjudgment.

When your light laughter died down, your head found itself lulling to the side again, tiredness taking over your mind as you rested against Sirius once more. When you tilted your head up to look at him he had a surprisingly pensive look on his face. Your eyes traveled across his expression, his gray eyes almost taking on a deep shade of blue in the shadows of his room. You noticed how much younger he looked when he was smiling; it was in moments like these when it really set in how long you had known each other, because you could see the years in his eyes.

Your own flickered down to his lips in spite of yourself and Sirius' heart skipped a beat, fearing you could feel it racing in his rib cage. When had you turned him so soft? He chuckled inwardly. Long before he had fully come to terms with how he felt about you was the answer. Even when he was in Azkaban, with two of his closest friends dead and the world convinced he was at fault, even if he had to live with the fact that he would never see you again, he still thought of you, and that kept him alive, sane— himself. But now you were here in front of him, and he was terrified that at any moment you would vanish into thin air and he would find himself back in that horrible cinder block cell, face to face with a dementor as it took his last memories of you away from him.

Your hand squeezed his, almost as if you had read his thoughts— as if you were assuring him that you were real, and you weren't going anywhere. You noticed him leaning in closer, even if he didn't, possessed by some invisible force. You were nearly about to meet him halfway when you were suddenly startled apart by the sound of quick, heavy-footed steps bounding down the stairs.

You both looked at each other as if you had just awoken from some sort of trance, instinctively putting some distance between yourselves as you shifted away awkwardly.

“I. . . I should probably get to bed,” you said, your face warm.

“Right,” Sirius said, reluctantly getting up from his seat at the edge of his bed, “I've kept you up long enough, I'm sure you're tired. . .”

Before you left his room you turned over your shoulder, a small smile on your face.

“It's really good to see you again, Sirius,” you said earnestly, “we should catch up for real later.”

“Definitely,” he said, a bit of his old self reflected in that smirk of his, albeit forced.

You steeled yourself, turning the doorknob and closing the door behind you gently before you did something to ruin the friendship you had just gotten back after over a decade. You shook the thought aside, your head hurting. You really did need to sleep after today.

You were about to head into your room, but something in you didn't feel quite right. You'd definitely heard someone go down the stairs, but you hadn't heard the front door open or close. Dread pooled in your stomach at your gut feeling, and you found yourself inexplicably making your way back down the stairs.

The house was eerily silent now that its residents had either gone off to bed or disapparated until the next meeting in a few days time. You'd left Sirius upstairs, and you knew Harry was staying here for the time being until school began, but everyone else had gone home. So then why did you still feel someone else's presence so acutely?

You stared at the empty hallway leading to the front door, taking a cautious step forward; the image in front of you didn't feel real. The colors were too saturated, the edges too sharp, and the surfaces too smooth. And that's when it hit you. The smell of rain. Leather-bound books. Lavender.

You froze, staring at the seemingly empty space in front of you.

“Severus?”

The potions master didn't dare make a sound, thinly veiled behind his invisibility charm but clearly not well enough. He was standing not three feet in front of you, taking in the sight of you as if it were the last thing he would ever see.

He panicked slightly as he felt you reach out to him with your mind, shutting himself off expertly. Your hurt expression as you were unable to detect anything pained him, but he wouldn't dare think that he deserved to say anything to you. What was there to say after everything he'd done?

Your gaze roamed the empty hall, and for a moment he could have sworn you stared him right in the eyes.

You knew he was there.

The moment lasted no longer than a second before you looked away, turning to go back up the stairs. As soon as your back was facing the front door you heard it open then close gently, and the tears you had been fighting to hold back finally spilled over.

Read chapter 4 here !

Taglist:  @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi​

[littlemixnet]

To me, a good ally is someone who is consistent in their efforts – there’s a difference between popping on a pride playlist or sprinkling yourself in rainbow glitter once a year and actually defending LGBT+ people against discrimination. It means showing my LGBT+ fans that I support them wholeheartedly and am making a conscious effort to educate myself, raise awareness and show up whenever they need me to. It would be wrong of me to benefit from the community as a musician without actually standing up and doing what I can to support. As someone in the public eye, it’s important to make sure your efforts are not performative or opportunistic. I’m always working on my allyship and am very much aware that I’ve still got a lot of unlearning and learning to do. There are too many what I call ‘dormant allies’, believing in equality but not really doing more than liking or reposting your LGBT+ mate’s content now and again. Imagine if that friend then saw you at the next march, or signing your name on the next petition fighting for their rights? Being an ally is also about making a conscious effort to use the right language and pronouns, and I recently read a book by Glennon Doyle who spoke of her annoyance and disappointment of those who come out and are met with ‘We love you…no matter what’. I’d never thought of that expression like that before and it really struck a chord with me. ‘No matter what’ suggests you are flawed. Being LGBT+ is not a flaw. Altering your language and being conscious of creating a more comfortable environment for your LGBT+ family and friends is a good start. Nobody is expecting you to suddenly know it all, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfect ally. I’m still very much learning. Even recently, after our Confetti music video I was confronted with the fact that although we made sure our video was incredibly inclusive, we hadn’t brought in any actual drag kings. Some were frustrated, and they had every right to be. You can have the right intentions and still fall short. As an open ally I should have thought about that, and I hadn’t, and for that I apologise. Since then I’ve been doing more research on drag king culture, because it’s definitely something I didn’t know enough about, whether that was because it isn’t as mainstream yet mixed with my own ignorance. But the point is we mess up, we apologise, we learn from it and we move forward with that knowledge. Don’t let the fear of f**king up scare you off. And make sure you are speaking alongside the community, not for the community. Growing up in a small Northern working-class town, some views were, and probably still are, quite ‘old fashioned’ and small-minded. I witnessed homophobia at an early age. It was a common thought particularly among men that it was wrong to be anything but heterosexual. I knew very early on I didn’t agree with this, but wasn’t educated or aware enough on how to combat it. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and within that space I had many LGBT+ (mainly gay) friends. I’ve been a beard many a time let me tell you! But it was infuriating to see friends not feel like they could truly be themselves. When I moved to London I felt incredibly lonely and like I didn’t fit in. It was my gay friends (mainly my friend and hairstylist, Aaron Carlo) who took me under their wing and into their world. Walking into those gay bars or events like Sink The Pink, it was probably the first time I felt like I was in a space where everyone in that room was celebrated exactly as they are. It was like walking into a magical wonderland. I got it. I clicked with everyone. My whole life I struggled with identity – being mixed race for me meant not feeling white enough, or black enough, or Arab enough. I was a ‘tomboy’ and very nerdy. I suppose on a personal level that maybe played a part in why I felt such a connection or understanding of why those spaces for the LGBT+ community are so important. One of the most obvious examples of first realising Little Mix was having an effect in the community was that I couldn’t enter a gay bar without hearing a Little Mix song and watching numerous people break out into full choreo from our videos! I spent the first few years of our career seeing this unfold and knowing the LGBT+ fan base were there, but it wasn’t until I got my own Instagram or started properly going through Twitter DMs that I realised a lot of our LGBT+ fans were reaching out to us on a daily basis saying how much our music meant to them. I received a message from a boy in the Middle East who hadn’t come out because in his country homosexuality is illegal. His partner tragically took their own life and he said our music not only helped him get through it, but gave him the courage to start a new life somewhere else where he could be out and proud. There are countless other stories like theirs, which kind of kickstarted me into being a better ally. Another standout moment would be when we performed in Dubai in 2019. We were told numerous times to ‘abide by the rules’, which meant not promoting anything LGBT+ or too female-empowering (cut to us serving a four-part harmony to Salute). In my mind, we either didn’t go or we’d go and make a point. When Secret Love Song came on, we performed it with the LGBT+ flag taking up the whole screen behind us. The crowd went wild, I could see fans crying and singing along in the audience and when we returned it was everywhere in the press. I saw so many positive tweets and messages from the community. It made laying in our hotel rooms s**tting ourselves that we’d get arrested that night more than worth it. It was through our fans and through my friends I realised I need to be doing more in my allyship. One of the first steps in this was meeting with the team at Stonewall to help with my ally education and discussing how I could be using my platform to help them and in turn the community. Right now, and during lockdown, I’d say my ally journey has been a lot of reading on LGBT+ history, donating to the right charities and raising awareness on current issues such as the conversion therapy ban and the fight for equality of trans lives. Stonewall is facing media attacks for its trans-inclusive strategies and there is an alarming amount of seemingly increasing transphobia in the UK today and we need to be doing more to stand with the trans community. Still, there is definitely a pressure I feel as someone in the public eye to constantly be saying and doing the right things, especially with cancel culture becoming more popular. I s**t myself before most interviews now, on edge that the interviewer might be waiting for me to ‘slip up’ or I might say something that can be misconstrued. Sometimes what can be well understood talking to a journalist or a friend doesn’t always translate as well written down, which has definitely happened to me before. There’ve been moments where I’ve (though well intentioned) said the wrong thing and had an army of Twitter warriors come at me. Don’t get me wrong, there are obviously more serious levels of f**king up that are worthy of a cancelling. But it was quite daunting to me to think that all of my previous allyship could be forgotten for not getting something right once. When that’s happened to me before I’ve scared myself into thinking I should STFU and not say anything, but I have to remember that I am human, I’m going to f**k up now and again and as long as I’m continuing to educate myself to do better next time then that’s OK. I’m never going to stop being an ally so I need to accept that there’ll be trickier moments along the way. I think that might be how some people may feel, like they’re scared to speak up as an ally in case they say the wrong thing and face backlash. Just apologise to the people who need to be apologised to, and show that you’re doing what you can to do better and continue the good fight. Don’t burden the community with your guilt. When it comes to the music industry, I’m definitely seeing a lot more LGBT+ artists come through and thrive, which is amazing. Labels, managements, distributors and so forth need to make sure they’re not just benefiting from LGBT+ artists but show they’re doing more to actually stand with them and create environments where those artists and their fans feel safe. A lot of feedback I see from the community when coming to our shows is that they’re in a space where they feel completely free and accepted, which I love. I get offered so many opportunities to do with LGBT+ based shows or deals and while it’s obviously flattering, I turn most of them down and suggest they give the gig to someone more worthy of that role. But really, I shouldn’t have to say that in the first place. The fee for any job I do take that feels right for me but has come in as part of the community goes to LGBT+ charities. That’s not me blowing smoke up my own arse, I just think the more of us and big companies that do that, the better. We need more artists, more visibility, more LGBT+ mainstream shows, more shows on LGBT+ history and more artists standing up as allies. We have huge platforms and such an influence on our fans – show them you’re standing by them. I’ve seen insanely talented LGBT+ artist friends in the industry who are only recently getting the credit they deserve. It’s amazing but it’s telling that it takes so long. It’s almost expected that it will be a tougher ride. We also need more understanding and action on the intersectionality between being LGBT+ and BAME. Racism exists in and out of the community and it would be great to see more and more companies in the industry doing more to combat that. The more we see these shows like Drag Race on our screens, the more we can celebrate difference. Ever since I was a little girl, my family would go to Benidorm and we’d watch these glamorous, hilarious Queens onstage; I was hooked. I grew up listening to and loving the big divas – Diana Ross (my fave), Cher, Shirley Bassey, and all the queens would emulate them. I was amazed at their big wigs, glittery overdrawn make-up and fabulous outfits. They were like big dolls. Most importantly, they were unapologetically whoever the f**k they wanted to be. As a shy girl who didn’t really understand why the world was telling me all the things I should be, I almost envied the queens but more than anything I adored them. Drag truly is an art form, and how incredible that every queen is different; there are so many different styles of drag and to me they symbolise courage and freedom of expression. Everything you envisioned your imaginary best friend to be, but it’s always been you. There’s a reason why the younger generation are loving shows like Drag Race. These kids can watch this show and not only be thoroughly entertained, but be inspired by these incredible people who are unapologetically themselves, sharing their touching stories and who create their own support systems and drag families around them. Now and again I think of when I’d see those Queens in Benidorm, and at the end they’d always sing I Am What I Am as they removed their wigs and smudged their make up off, and all the dads would be up on their feet cheering for them, some emotional, like they were proud. But that love would stop when they’d go back home, back to their conditioned life where toxic heteronormative behaviour is the status quo. Maybe if those same men saw drag culture on their screens they’d be more open to it becoming a part of their everyday life. I’ll never forget marching with Stonewall at Manchester Pride. I joined them as part of their young campaigners programme, and beforehand we sat and talked about allyship and all the young people there asked me questions while sharing some of their stories. We then began the march and I can’t explain the feeling and emotion watching these young people with so much passion, chanting and being cheered by the people they passed. All of these kids had their own personal struggles and stories but in this environment, they felt safe and completely proud to just be them. I knew the history of Pride and why we were marching, but it was something else seeing what Pride really means first hand. My advice for those who want to use their voice but aren’t sure how is, just do it hun. It’s really not a difficult task to stand up for communities that need you. Change can happen quicker with allyship.

Jade Thirlwall on the power, and pressures, of being an LGBT ally: ‘I’m gonna f**k up now and again’

[thegingeralien]

Thought I might share my “doing homework with adhd” tips in case the might help even just one person (because that would make me feel happy).

Who am I to be giving you advice? Good point! I am still terrible at studying and I’m 26 and at University for the millionth time. But I have studied A LOT in my 22 years of schooling with varying degrees of success.

I see a lot of people, especially teenagers or first year university/college students, with ADHD asking for tips on how to study. But if you do a google search most of the websites and advice that comes up can be extremely ableist. So I hope I can help someone!

TIPS TO HELP YOU STUDY WHEN YOU HAVE AN ADHD GREMLIN BRAIN!:

1. Chewing gum!

- This might come across as a weird one, but it has actually really helped me. I use it as a form of stimming to help keep me focused and concentrating. Other forms of stimming can potentially end up being more of a distraction when you actually need to be reading or writing - but they can help if you just need to be listening. Try not to get a bubble gum or fun flavoured one though - as they can end up making your mouth feel dry, lose flavour quickly, and just give your brain way too many sensory things to become distracted with.

2. Buying colour coded stationary!

- New stationary can make me really excited to start studying, but that excitement never lasts long and the act of buying stationary can sometimes become it’s own hobby. That’s not what we are going for here. I really recommend, especially if you are a visual learner like me, to buy colour coded stationary. This means removable page markers, different coloured post it notes, highlighters, sometimes even pens. This way if your mind jumps from one topic to the other, it doesn’t matter. Go with the flow. Forcing your ADHD gremlin brain to focus can be extremely counter intuitive. So pick a colour for each topic, and stick to that system to find organisation among your own chaos!

3. Buy a really cheap, boring year diary with hardly any writing inside.

- Not sure if your school/university has their own diary but they can be perfect for what I am on about. Generally you can find them for really cheap, soft cover, no writing or designs within the dates. Just dates, days, weeks and lines where you can write your homework. This helped me a lot in High School. I wish I had kept doing it in University, but I am good with giving advice, and not so much with taking it. I used to decorate the outside of it however I wanted. Some years I would redecorate the same diary every semester. In the public holidays or holiday days I would colour those lines in with different highlighters to make it look like a rainbow. But every assignment due date, homework, draft, rewrite, form I had to bring back, library book due date, school activity days, ANYTHING to do with school I would write in there with reminds and check lists. Important due dates would be highlighted, general homework and daily to do lists t(o help me not leave my assignments to the last minute) would have a tick box beside them (because ticking tick boxes is free dopamine). Try to not put birthdays or fun things in it. This is a small way to stay on track so it helps you actually stay on track with the big things when you’re home.

4. Big whiteboards stuck on the wall where you can’t avoid it.

- This is not something I had in school, but I so wish I did. I have been using this recently to keep on top of house work (as maintaining your own house is tiring) and my small business or other things I really can’t avoid. If I physically write it down (not just in my phone) it psychologically does help you commit it to memory. Again, physically putting a line through a task you just completed is a hecking great rush of dopamine. But the biggest reason I love my white board, I can’t ignore it. It is stuck to the wall and is never out of sight, out of mind. I can’t put my phone or diary down and then refuse to look at it until I’m past the due date. Again, I’m not a perfect person, there are days where I don’t do anything I have written on the white board. But the great thing is, I don’t have to continuously feel like I failure, as I can wipe it all off the next morning or week and start fresh. I also put important things I have to remember that I’m doing during the week so I don’t forget them.

5. Icky Medication.

- I know not everyone wants to be on medication, and I understand. I am not forcing you to. No matter what your opinions are, you lovely gremlin who is still reading this post, regarding medication, you are valid and I respect you. My personal experience with medication has not been the best. I have been misdiagnosed for a severe chunk of my academic life which has seen me trying to focus and maintain school work under some even worse states then I am unmedicated! However, since receiving my diagnosis and finding the right ADHD medication for me, I have the ability to get so much work done without having to unnecessarily struggle. It’s unfortunately not magic, it will not turn me into a robot that makes me do work and turn out incredible, noble peace prize winning assignments (as much as I wish that were possible). I still have the ability to be a lump, doom scrolling through tumblr, forgetting to eat, and ignoring responsibilities. But it really helps me when I sit down and start that thing that isn’t fun. Yesterday it helped me hyperfocus on cleaning my office which was a terrifying room to be in. So it’s pretty close to magic in my opinion!

6. Accessing Disability Support at your place of learning.

- Not all of you taking the time to read this will have either a) an offical diagnosis or b) a good disability support available to you wherever you are completing your studies. And that is okay. This dot point just won’t be for you right now. But keep it in mind for a time when it might apply to you, as it’s something I never thought I would need, but will never take for granted ever again.

- If you have an offical diagnosis and Disability Support, make an appointment with the disability support adviser. DO IT NOW! Get your psychiatrist to write a diagnosis letter outlining that you have <enter superpower that makes you hilarious here> and that you are receiving <enter x,y,z treatment here> and that you would benefit from receiving <enter what you have always wished you had on the days you can’t make your ADHD gremlin brain do the thing here>. Now these benefits can be, but not limit to: automatic extensions on ALL assignments, extra time on exams, extra breaks to walk around while taking exams, special consideration when marking assignments, my university allows me to take exams in a separate room with only the other students in my subject who also have disability support (occasionally I have taken an exam alone with only a tutor present) so I don’t get distracted, permission to take fidget items into class or exam (I have the option to wear headphones, as long as I can display that they are not connected to anything). Maybe you can come up with some great ones for you with your disability advisor or your psychiatrist.

- The disability advisor will often go through your course outline with you at the start of each semester or year. This is annoying and a great time for disassociating, but can be useful in hindsight because you are made aware of everything that will come up during your class so you are not surprised. Because lets be honest, it is unlikely you are going to look at the course calendar too often.

- Side Note: I make an appointment every semester with my disability support officer for my area of study to make sure I have my special considerations for the year. Now I may go through the whole year without ever using my considerations. However, the fact that I know they are there takes an insane amount of pressure off of myself. If I’m having an insanely screwy loony tune mental health moment, I can email my coordinator my disability plan and say I need an extension due to personal reasons, and WHOOP, there it izzzzz.

7. Dedicated one thing or a few things that have nothing to do with food/alcohol/other substances to reward yourself with for doing the thing!

- This may not work for everyone. It doesn’t always work for me. I used to reward myself with food, but that only reinforced my stimming with overeating and my already bad relationship with food. And I feel as though that would be the same with any other substance that can be linked with addiction. (Addiction is a tough word, cause what aren’t I addicted to, I have ADHD, but hopefully you get what I mean!).

-Now, boring try and not choose this aside, lets think of somethings that work really well as rewards!

- My partner likes to come give me a kiss and a hug when ever they have written and reread a paragraph, you might buy a book when you get a really good mark, you might want to go make a cup of tea and watch an episode of your hyperfixation after studying for <enter a good period of time here>, you might allow yourself to partake in an activity you usually do while procrastinating (but at least this time you know you aren’t putting something off), talk to someone who you know will tell you they are proud of you as they understand the mental struggle you go through to concentrate (if you can’t think of anyone, it is 110% okay if that person are the amazing people on tumblr or the adhd tumblr chats. We will freaking pop a bottle of champagne for you cause we get it!).

- Try and make what ever you choose be something in a different room or away from your working space. Getting out can really calm you down.

8. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.

- This is true for anything, but I don’t mean just asking your teacher to give you extra help understanding the task and marking rubric. Many people online, tutors, librarians at your school, past or present students offer assistance rereading and making small edits (they won’t make it magical unfortunately) to your assignments. If you are like me and once you have written or completed the dreaded thing, you can not imagine or force your gremlin brain reread or edit the thing. So it can help to just delegate this to someone else, who hasn’t read it before, so they won’t disassociate or skim read it. They will often notice things you never would have even if you were neurotypical as that is just what happens when you have been working on something for so long.

9. Repetitive music.

- It generally helps if this has no lyrics. Lo-fi is amazing. Classical is alright too if it works for you, but both my partner and I agree that it can really assist you to keep up pace and focus when the beat is a high and repetitive (almost meditative) tempo.

10. Limit your screen space.

- This is a tip completely from my partner @dr-adhd who also has ADHD, is an avid PC gamer and is consistently in a battle with their gremlin brain to focus on completing their PhD. They have discovered that it really helps them to limit their screen space - simply put, work on one screen only. They have done more work more easily when they have their one screen on their laptop to focus on. Whereas their office has multiple screens so they could be playing runescape, watching YouTube, listening to lo-fi and doing work - which never worked (shocking right hahaha).

11. At the risk of sounding like a Mum... Put your phone and other electronics other than the assignment necessary one, away.

- I am a Mum, but to a fluffy puppy dog, so I hate to sound like my Mum when I was in high school, but she was right. Mobiles are the single easiest and biggest distraction in ADHD history. I often, even at coffee shops, have to turn my phone over so that I am not consistently looking at it every time the screen lights up to say the pizza place has sent me a coupon, or a carpet place that has been having a sale since I was born is... still having a sale, or a friend from school wants you to watch this TikTok. Even though you might not want to ignore your friends, because people pleasing, difficulting making/keeping friends and RSD are hecking real things, but they can all wait. Trust me, none of them are urgent. That TikTok will still be funny in an hour or two. And I’m probably completely right when I say that whomever just messaged you, never replies as quickly as you want them too. So I doubt they are going to think twice if you are MIA to finish your thing.

My partner or I might add to this later, but at the moment I already know that I probably wouldn’t read this wall of words if I was the one reading it, so if you are still with me, THANK YOU and I really hope I might have helped you. Sorry for the mound of words, but maybe you can reblog, screen shot, or save this and read a dot point at a time or refer to it when you need. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, I promise what ever it is, I’ve asked the same thing once in my life or something MUCH stupider.

[myundeadgayson]

Last Life Assassin AU: Friendly Connections

In my last posts on this AU, I covered the Organizations and Non-Organizations of the AU. I’ve also fully written out Lizzie’s story thus far if you’d like to read that, but now I’d like to talk about some important connections in the AU.

By the way, this post is likely going to be hella long. I’ll be cutting it, but just know all the connections are going to be under the cuts. (And before you ask, I did absolutely take some inspiration from EmpireSMP as well for some of these ideas<3)

We’ll be covering: Etho and Bdubs, Lizzie and Jimmy, Lizzie and Joel, Jimmy and Joel, and Grian and Scar.

So if you’re interested, please continue reading!

As a quick recap, our assassin crews include The Southlands, The Fairy Alliance, The B.E.S.T. Organization, and Girlboss and Gatekeep. Our civilians are Scar and Joel, who run the shop, Magical Mountain. It’s literally just a normal magic shop.

Etho and Bdubs:

And they were roommates! (oh my god, they were roommates…)

Jokes aside, Etho and Bdubs are roommates. They share a little apartment together. (They may or may not have met through a Craigslist Ad a few years back.)

There’s a running joke in the group about them being married. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like much of a joke though considering they’re practically attached at the hip. Everywhere Etho goes, Bdubs is often right there as well and vice versa.

They also have the whole “bickers like an old married couple” thing going on. (Tango and Skizz make jokes sometimes that they might end up actually getting married one day and it’s only a matter of time.)

Bdubs isn’t aware that Etho might have a background in being an assassin pre-BEST, but he’s the one that typically points out that Etho’s a natural at the job.

Etho does have a surprising amount of comfort in handling knives, as well as throwing them. Bdubs has watched Etho clean them among other weapons with strange amounts of care. It’s almost as if Etho sort of goes into a daze and lets some sort of instinct take over. It’s a bit weird, but Bdubs ignores the nagging thoughts in the back of his mind and guides Etho to bed.

Yes, they have considered getting married for tax benefits. They’ve both made the pitch and it becomes more tempting every time one of them brings it up.

Jimmy and Lizzie:

Siblings! Siblings! Siblings!

They’re actually siblings, by the way. Jimmy is Lizzie’s younger brother.

Lizzie’s pretty protective over him. Even if they’re adults, she still often checks in on him to make sure he’s doing okay.

Every now and then, they’ll meet up for brunch. Jimmy comes over a lot to see her too. Lizzie’s noticed he’s been a lot busier lately though, but seeing as Jimmy always skirts around the subject when she brings it up, she lets it slide... for now.

Neither of them are aware that the other is an assassin. They’d prefer to keep it that way. (It doesn’t mean Lizzie doesn’t notice the dark circles under Jimmy’s eyes, or Jimmy’s oblivious to the way Lizzie looks frazzled some mornings when he comes by and she’s yet to have slept.)

Sometimes when Lizzie hasn’t gotten any sleep and Jimmy comes by, Lizzie will accidentally fall asleep. She’ll pass out on the couch while Jimmy rummages through her kitchen. He’ll end up walking in and realizing he’s been talking to himself for like five minutes. Every time, Jimmy just ends up smiling and covering her up with a blanket.

Even as an adult, Jimmy’s the annoying little brother. He has a bad habit of coming over unannounced and scaring Lizzie as a result. He also does tend to steal food from her cabinets, despite having his own perfectly good apartment and food to eat there.

Lizzie has a sneaking suspicion Jimmy comes by so often to her and Joel because he’s actually kind of lonely. He lives alone and even though Lizzie is like… somewhat sure he has friends, he still hates being alone.

She does love the fact that Jimmy’s basically best friends with Joel though. (Other times, she hates it because it’s another excuse for Jimmy to break into her house.)

Lizzie and Joel:

So, there’s a wizard and an assassin and they get married, right?

How do you explain to your spouse that you’re secretly running an organization that totally doesn’t kill people? Short answer: You don’t!

Joel doesn’t have a clue that his wife has killed people on the downlow.

To be fair, she did stop killing people before they got married... She just got back into the hobby recently because ya know... It’s kind of hard to stop a habit, especially one that you became so familiar with.

Since bringing back the Fairy Alliance, she has done significantly less killing! So far, they has been absolutely no murder by Lizzie’s hand:)

All of this probably sounds really bad, but Joel is perfectly content with not knowing what Lizzie’s done. (I feel like I can’t express that enough. Joel loves his wife so much, but he really just rather not know if she’s involved illegal activities. Dude, he’s just a random guy that works at a magic shop.)

He has noticed Lizzie’s been acting kind of strange lately, but decided that he’d let her come to him about it when she’s ready. As things have gotten weirder though, he realized maybe it’s better to ignore it.

Honestly, Joel just thinks Lizzie’s joined a really, really weird DND group. He assumes they’re just really intense about it, and that’s why he hears them use code names from time to time.

The Fairy Alliance will occasionally come to meet up at Lizzie’s home late at night (they don’t exactly have a secret meeting place yet), and Joel will accidentally wander past to get a glass of water and they all just freeze and stare at him. Joel’s learned to just wave them off and go back to bed. He assumes that’s another weird DND thing they do — 3am meetups to talk about their campaign. He usually just calls them nerds and prepares for another day of wizard dress up.

Lizzie loves her dumbass oblivious husband and his dedication to just ignore things. It makes her life a thousand times easier because she doesn’t know how she’d even begin explaining what she’s been doing.

Joel has noticed Lizzie’s been making a lot of money without him knowing how... He’s decided to ignore that as well. (Whatever it is, it pays for their lovely new penthouse suite, so he doesn’t mind!)

(...Joel might be Lizzie’s trophy husband, but we’re not gonna talk about it.)

Jimmy and Joel:

They’re best friends, your honor.

Before Lizzie and Joel got together, Jimmy actually did know Joel. They were good friends, but not super close.

Now they’re legit besties.

Jimmy comes to visit Joel at work sometimes. Mornings get spent with Lizzie, but lunches are usually for Joel. Occasionally they’ll meet up at a cafe to eat, but sometimes Jimmy will bring food to Joel at work and have lunch with him there.

Jimmy will usually sit on the stool at the end of the counter. He’ll talk to Joel while they eat, and Joel will lounge behind the register. Sometimes, Jimmy will loiter around, watching Joel for a few hours, before wandering off to do… Whatever Jimmy does.

Joel doesn’t actually know what Jimmy does when Jimmy’s not with him or Lizzie?

Like everything, Joel prefers not to ask questions. From the few times that he’s tried to ask and Jimmy’s poor attempts of stumbling through an answer, he’s decided it’s probably not worth it anyway.

Joel has occasionally noticed weird things about Jimmy. For example, on one of the morning where Joel went over to Jimmy’s unannounced instead, he noticed Jimmy wrapping his shoulder in bandages He’d never realized Jimmy had scars before either???

He did try to ask about them, but Jimmy was quick to brush him off. He’s decided it’s better to ignore those too.

Joel’s noticed Lizzie has some scars too? She’s mentioned that they’re just from accidents she had back in college.

When he asked Lizzie if she knew about Jimmy getting hurt, she told her that she couldn’t remember, but it’s also Jimmy and she doubts he’d tell her if he did. Jimmy often avoids telling her things like that because he hates worrying her.

Grian and Scar:

It was completely by accident. Recently, Grian wandered into a magic shop. It was purely by mistake, but somehow it feels like that one mistake’s changed his entire life.

He blames it on Scar, the silly man that insists on dressing up as a wizard daily for his business and pedals “magical crystals” to surprisingly gullible amounts of people (and not even children).

Sometimes, Grian can’t tell if Scar actually believes in the crystals or if it’s all just a scam. Whichever it is, he has to admit that Scar does make quite the sell for them. (It’s probably for the best that Scar chose to be a magic man over an actual businessman. Grian would be afraid to see what Scar would do with some actual political power.)

Though Grian claims that he doesn’t care for the place, he’s fallen into a habit of visiting weekly, if not more sometimes. He says it isn’t to see Scar, but it absolutely is.

Scar’s more than pleased about it. He lets Grian hang out as much as he wants. Now, Grian’s even gotten to the point that Scar lets him sit behind the counter or join him upstairs if Grian stays past closing time.

Occasionally, there’s days where Grian comes in looking exhausted. Whenever that happens, Scar usually ushers Grian upstairs and lets him sleep on the futon up there. It’d be a lie if Grian said he didn’t appreciate it. The area’s become a nice place where Grian feels like he can truly relax for once. It’s a good escape. As far as he knows, none of the Southlands even know about the shop, so it truly is Grian’s escape for a while from everything in his life.

Scar always gets so happy seeing Grian able to actually relax around him. Whenever they first met, Grian always seemed so tense and guarded. It’s been wonderful seeing Grian’s walls slowly come down. He thinks maybe they’ve become really good friends.

Joel often teases them about being a bit more than friends, but it usually gets ignored.

Honestly, Grian couldn’t even figure out why Joel was working there at first because he never seemed to be doing anything if Scar was around. Grian realized after a few times of coming in during times where only Joel was at the shop that Joel actually loves his job and works pretty hard. He just tends to goof off more if Scar’s nearby.

Grian’s kind of glad Scar’s got someone like Joel around to help and be a friend. (Doesn’t mean Grian doesn’t wish Joel would stop trying to annoy him.)

Fun Fact: Grian is not aware that Jimmy knows about the Magical Mountain shop, nor that Jimmy and Joel are friend. Enjoy that knowledge as you will<3

And that’s all we have for now!

I was actually going to cover some of Scott and Jimmy… But I think I’ll actually wait on that for now:) Hopefully all this will make up for it in the meantime!

Be sure to let me know who/what you’d like to learn more about next! Asks are always open, so feel free to ask about whatever you’d like!

[codenamesazanka]

This is complete gibberish because 1) quirks are basically magic with extremely little basis in real science, in fact it makes up its own facts, 2) my half remembered biology has probably also made up its own facts, and 3) very untrustworthy application of simplified sociological concepts, but anyways

So the CRC fascinates me because it’s an interesting bit of HeroAcaLand worldbuilding, sadly able to draw basis from irl bigotry. But just like a lot of irl bigotry, the hate is based on something that seems to be completely made up within the logic of the world.

The whole manifestation of quirks / advent of the extraordinary brought about chaos when the regular, traditional definition of ‘human’ collapsed, so says All Might in Chapter 59. Eventually, people rebuild and redefined what being ‘human’ meant. And the CRC had its origins during an era where things were getting better.

Before, the separation of power/society/identity was between people who didn’t have superpowers and those who did (and not considered ‘human’); then presumably as the quirk-having population grew, as there were more babies born with quirks than not and this rate kept increasing with each generation, the majority of people just came to accept that this was the new normal - everyone has superpowers of some sort.

Which of course meant hatred needed a new target/new scapegoat/new imagined enemy/new group to assert power and dominance over/new underclass of sorts.

It’s not hard to imagine that perhaps, in one scenario, someone without a body-altering quirk would throw a fellow quirk-haver under the bus for their own benefit. In attempting to enter the club of ‘true human’, the more normal-looking person could simply point to someone with a heteromorphic quirk and say, Look at them. I’m not a freak like them, I’m just like anyone else, with a tiny quirk. Who would you rather have, if you must have us? Something like that. Or it’s just easier to include normal-looking people who needn’t special accommodations, no need to spend more effort put into thoughtful inclusion into their community, and wow, aren’t those heteromorphs annoying when they raise the issue? Or simply because someone felt an irrational feeling that they then try to rationalize.

In any case, it’s probably from incidents like these that got the CRC formed, claiming that heteromorphs are less than and undeserving. Dehumanize them into ‘animals’, most frequently from what we’ve seen, but surely people like Cementoss would similarly be demean as a ‘thing’.

There is a subtle but reoccurring belief of a kind of biological determinism that runs through current quirk society. That your quirk makes you who you are, inherently, innately; that if you deviate from the norms you community, you’re no longer a person, really, just monsters in human skin. Because it’s still ongoing, the fight about who gets to be a person, and treated as such.

But back to the CRC. I think it’s kinda ‘funny’, that their break up into fractions shows exactly the cracks in their ideology, demonstrates the bullshit it is. The traits these different fractions hate on seem entirely arbitrary, and the lines they draw not coherent either (does ‘irregular heads’ include animal-esque heads? Does that mean they’re fine with someone who might have, idk, the body of a tree, but a normal head; yet that person’s sibling who only has leaves for hair but otherwise a ‘normal’ body doesn’t make the cut of whatever ‘acceptable standards’ they’ve come up with?). In other words, traits arising from quirks and whatever meaning or value people give to them have become a sort of social construct; but the CRC rejects that for nonsensical determinism.

This is my own ‘theory’, but taking the gists of what I remember about genetics, I think that however much Spinner looks like a lizard, has a quirk called ‘Gecko’, he doesn’t have ‘animal DNA’; he is 100% as human as anyone else in the League. His plus-alpha-quirk-factors-genes-whatever simply gives him this phenotype that’s one variation of many, but it’s the same gene as anyone else?

Okay, so like. (Almost) everyone has a unique quirk, which can range anywhere from ‘bendy fingers’ to controlling the weather. But its all still a quirk, a biological aspect of a person decided by plus-alpha-elements/quirk-factors/whatever. When AFO takes away a quirk, he takes it all away - someone who has been able to emit stuff no longer can, and someone with heteromorph looks loses that appearance. It was the solely the quirk that granted them these ‘extra features’, whatever it may be. These two people are/were as human as each other, always had been, no matter how different they looked. Someone with an animal heteromorph quirk has always been 100% identically human as someone who has a non-heteromorphic quirk, or someone without a quirk at all.

Or, approaching this from a different direction, you can’t argue Spinner isn’t as human as say Endeavor/is a little more animalistic than Endeavor; you might as well say Endeavor is as inhuman as Spinner (and so is everyone else). Yes, Spinner looks like a lizard - he’s got the claws and the scales, it’s not regular ‘human’ skin. But neither does Endeavor, because normal human skin would turn to ash at the temperature of heat and fire he makes. On his skin.

Idk how physics in this world works, but still, see - there’s sorta a irl biological basis for Endeavor’s heat-tolerant body. Basically his body produces enzymes that do not burn out at the temperature (and higher) that most enzymes do... likely similar to the enzymes of thermophiles - single celled organisms sorta like bacteria, that can survive at super high temperature. Whose to say his quirk isn’t partly ‘based’ on this? In other words, Endeavor has similar traits to a species of bacteria or even archaea.

Endeavor, similar to a single celled organism that’s not even of the same taxonomy domain as animals (super far away on the tree of life from humans); vs Spinner, similar to a lizard, which is at least in the same phylum as humans (closer in the tree of life). Who’s more human? Whose got ‘more’ ‘animalistic DNA’/‘human DNA’? Which is to say, in the world of My Hero Academia, Spinner (and Endeavor) is just as inhuman as anyone else, having the quirks they do, which means they’re just as human as anyone else because (almost) everyone has quirks. Spinner can be called lizard as much as Dabi can also be called a (failed) bacteria.

So the CRC are wrong. Which, duh, but now it’s ‘‘‘‘‘proven’’’’’ by me and my near 1 am brain. My eyes are tired. I’m on mobile so i can’t do a spoiler cut sorry. Night everyone, thanks for putting up with me.

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Moonlight

Draco x Reader One-Shot

Summary: This is based off the song ‘Moonlight’ by Ariana Grande. During the bad times of War, not everything has to be so black-and-white. Both Y/N and Draco know it just too well.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: language 

tags: @drawlfoy @eltanin-malfoy

Composing yourself had been more than a hard thing to ask for lately.

The Death Eater had finally taken Hogwarts under their control; famous Harry Potter, who was allegedly supposed to play a hero, disappeared in the depth of the unknown; the plan of escaping the school turned out to be an utter failure since the Dementors encircled and blocked every passage of absconding, escalating the disappointment over students.

Yet you hadn't thought of the plan B as an alternative solution, but you were sure, even if you managed to find one, it might take a few more months to figure things out. And you had to admit that increasing anxiety about your parents made you cry yourself to sleep at night. Despite your insistent pleads of the letters to contact you, you hadn't received any response or other sign of life ever since over two months of a constant worry.

And yet, it wasn't the worst part.

The Carrows, who unwarrantedly preferred to call themselves professors Carrows from now on, had decided to introduce their new methods of teaching everyone. And punishing for any triviality.

Once, for example, in Charms class -- which was the worst nightmare of a week -- you had been asked to stand up in front of the class and demonstrate a Crucio curse on the First Year who happened to accidentally bump into Alecto in the corridor. Obviously, you hadn't obeyed an imposed task to which Carrows only reacted with unrestrained rage. Instead of punishing the eleven-year-old boy, the lesson had turned out to be your disciplining session of torture for not being submissive enough. Although the feat had brought you more renown later on, which served to make Carrows more flustered, you still couldn't get out of the Hospital Wing for whole three days.

All of that also led your Occulumency to suffer, which was doubling the struggle. There was for sure no doubt it was an important skill to have, not only to create a mental barrier protecting yourself from uninvited intruders; but also preventing others' thoughts from leaking into your head. It was already enough of bearing the non-stopping suspense in the air. So, the idea of accumulating more emotions on your account would probably navigate to an outburst.  

One thing, however, surprised you. You had found out that people who outwardly seemed to have quite a reputation of cruel tossers were actually more decent and human than you could think. In particular, certain Draco Malfoy, who had been selected as a Head Boy in terms of this year.

Wandering around the school and doing the night patrols, he had happened to find you sitting hunched over, face buried in your knees, and sobbing brokenly at the fate the Wizarding World was faced to deal with. He had flumped next to you, without question, silently accompanying and comforting you in moments of solitude.

Two other times of your encounter had been in the library: spotting you among the crowd of students, he would come over and take a nearby place. You didn't know whether it was a matter of pride or disposition, but he had never spoken up, which you, in fact, didn't mind. At first, you had been a little bit dubious about his sudden influx of approachability. However, as to mute your suspicions down, you tried not pondering about it too much.

Funny, how the real nature of the boy who you had known for a nonchalant sneer and teasing remarks, could suddenly become so interesting and mysterious.

It was on a Thursday late that you were strolling up to The Astronomy Tower to see the Thestrals soaring in the air. Normally, it was around the time when you would be putting yourself to the bed, but too many thoughts were buzzing in your mind, and you knew it wouldn't give you much space to sleep anyways. The only optimum, instead of staring aimlessly at the ceiling and flipping from one to the other side of the mattress, was busying yourself with something else. The lack of sleep was due to nothing else than today's lesson with Carrows. They had thought up an idea of having some practice with a Confrigo spell which, rather unfortunately, was presented on a living phantom. As always, a whole hour of torments was disastrous, to say at least, and even after classes, you couldn't shake off the echo of troubled screams and beggings, which carried over the petrified room of students. That's why you were thinking you could swallow your emotions down, quietly and undisturbedly, in the only place you could wish for some private space. Besides, it was the only spot resembling the old Hogwarts you had known from the previous years, showing the calming extent of green grounds.

However to your surprise, when you pushed the door to The Astronomy Tower, noiselessly, you could notice a silhouette of a man already standing at the barrier, which made you momentarily flabbergasted suddenly considering an option of running upon a teacher. To save yourself from much too unwanted detention, you decided to change your track, rushing straight into your dormitory. But almost as you succeeded doing so, in the last moment, a person shifted in their place and spoke up before you had room to move.

"Pretty late for a casual stroll, huh?" At once, a feeling of dread ebbed away, and you exhaled deeply air you didn't know you were holding as you recognized none other than Draco with his back turned towards you. His tone was as usually taunting, but something in a timbre of sadness was hitched to it as well. "Shouldn't be sneaking out of the room on the patroling hours, you know? I'm the least of who you could come upon today."

Your dignity told you to say something in order to defend your harmless saunter to calm down your nerves, which benefited only your mental account. However, he made a point -- you could have been caught not only by some random teacher but Currows themselves who, you were inexorably aware, wouldn't let a chance of dehumanizing others slip away. And besides, you were a little too dumbstruck to speak, realizing it must be the first time Draco fucking prince Malfoy had uttered more than a word to you. What was a coincidence of meeting up with him just on the same day as you had been wondering about your atypical relationship formed within this school year?

Before your contemplation ended, Draco's voice carried on with a conversation, echoing off the walls. "Care to join? Seeing as you're already here."

Frowning to yourself at how surreal the situation can become, you stepped off the stairs with no more hesitation. You truly wouldn't have suspected the things would turn out that way -- embracing his Head Boy position, you thought he would send you off back to the Hufflepuff Tower with his dismissive attitude as it usually was. Inviting you over to company him was a top cherry you hadn't even considered. Truthfully, it made you feel a little thrilled to accept this offer.

As you walked over to him, his facial features became much sharper than from afar. Now, as you looked at him closely, you could define the contours of his face were even more angelic yet still masculine than in daily light. The platonic hair glinted accordingly to the moon above; his blue eyes were focused on a black void in the sky, clearly pondering more than concentrating on a particular object; a mouth pursed into a line, not a mocking expression he was usually carrying himself with. Eyeing him like that and still not being capable of deciphering him suggested he must be someone between a completely unemotional git or an excellent master of Occulumency. You preferred to presume the second one.

Quickly, realizing you were staring, you turned your head to behold a collection of vivid stars hovering above your head. You knew it was only in the Wizarding World that sky flickered so brightly -- your father was a muggle, and a whole family dwelled among a non-magical society, which you didn't mind at all. And that's why you were able to recognize... differences existing between those two worlds.

"Why are you here?" you asked curiously, not quite capable of restraining yourself from doing so. You were standing close enough to him to smell his sandalwood cologne.

He gave you a perfunctory smile, and although it was a three-second gesture, it somehow made you lighter on the chest to know he was convenient with a conversation. "Needed someplace to think," he explained, not darting his eyes away from where he was looking. He took a pause there. "You?"

"The same reason," you answered simply, shrugging. "My roommates can be too loud sometimes, and I needed some silence to sort out...stuff."

Draco nodded in understanding, not interfering any further into the topic. Brushing your hair habitually with fingers, you scolded yourself for coming up here in the first place. How could you act so irresponsibly to think you could smoothly break a regulations' rule and without anyone finding out? Although you were desperate to hide it, the presence of Draco made you inexplicably nervous, and even though you tried to gulp it down, your stomach was churning when he was around. Time proved his intentions weren't bad after all, and you confronted with the truth ever since he first happened to find you at the moment of your meltdown in the corridor, clutching to him as if he was your sanity. But that didn't dispel your doubts about him becoming a fully active Death Eater, who praised with a Dark Mark on the left forearm like with a reward for some kind of acrobatic stunt.

Your gaze swept briefly over the rolled-up sleeves of his snow-white shirt only to assure yourself the mark didn't disappear off his arm with some help of the power of your imagination. Yet it was still there -- as always, tinted coal-black, scary and blood-curdling every time you looked at it.

That evidently didn't escape Draco's notice who, as though reading your mind, started. "You know, I didn't want this." He didn't have to show what he meant by saying so because you instantly figured it out. You looked up at him, and almost invisibly, his skin pale as it already was, changed even to the whiter shade. "He has bait on me. All of this: assassinating Dumbledore; obeying his will -- it's not because I want that."

The sudden shock welled up at these words, and you gawked at him stupidly, not quite able to process what he had just told you. Swallowing with some difficulty, you coerced yourself to a mutter. "Why... why are you telling me this?"

For the first time this night, his steely stare landed at you, scanning your face to detect signs of emotion. You attempted to conceal it, but he could see you were thunderstruck by his unexpected confession. Without preamble, he smiled slightly at you. "I thought you ought to know."

Ignoring the clenching in your chest, you did your best to not break eye contact with Draco when his eyes were intently locked on yours now. You could swear, something on the verge of interest and sympathy flickered in them for a second. "Why?"

"Because you're the only person who doesn't freak out when I'm around," he explained carefully. "Every time I go to the library or appear in any other public place, you're the only one who doesn't glare."

He closed his eyes, clearly relived with the fact he could confide the worries he had been carrying for a long time. Breathing out through the nose and his lips flinching a little, his head spun again to the blank of the sky.

It was a depressing sight to see him in such dejection, and the images of him being cast aside by his former group of friends with who he had been laughing merely a year ago rolled into your head, try as might to suppress it. You could only imagine what it must feel like to be rejected by everyone around; to play the main role in something you never wished to participate in.

For a moment, you thought he was going to continue because he grunted enigmatically, but the silence remained. Unable to restrain the urge to offer physical comfort, you affectionately grabbed his palm, squeezing it in the reassurance that you were there for him. He didn't attempt to break himself out of the grip, which presumably was a good indication.

"I believe you," you stated, for some reason, satisfied with the fact you're the one to comfort him. "You are a good person, Draco."

This time, it was he who clasped your hand, and he glimpsed at you once more, towering over you with his long legs. "No. In the past, things happened, and to say, I'm not proud of them. Jeering, mocking, insulting -- that wasn't fa-."

"Past is a past, Draco," you cut him off, knowing where it all was leading, and you wanted to bring it to an abrupt end. It was the least adequate moment for apologies. "You can't fix it. Good that you understand your mistakes by now."

He hummed in comprehension, smiling, and his grasp tightened around your palm as if you were about to run off from him, which he couldn't be more wrong about. Admitting to yourself, you loved his smile -- though it was seldom, it much differed from a smirk you were accustomed to at that point -- and you secretly hoped he could do it more often. You also loved that even if he didn't talk much, he was very successful in lifting you up.

Therefore, there you were: standing arm-to-arm with your ex-bully who you had happened to run across; observing the moon in its full exposure; holding hands in reassurance. Both of you clearly enjoyed this gratifying moment and were lingering towards it not to end.

"Thank you," Draco finally choked out. "Thank you for...everything."

Ultimately, smashing the wall of uncertainty down, he wrapped his arms around your neck, hunching a little to adjust to your height, and buried his face in the crook of your neck. At first, your body stiffened at the sudden touch and a skip of the boundary, but as not to agitate him, you adapted yourself soon enough by reciprocating the hug. You started to rub the slow, steady circles on his back, and little by little, he began stroking your hair, softly grazing your scalp.

How long you stood clinging to each other like this, you didn't know. Hearing Draco sigh quietly, feel the rise and fall of it against your hands. Your heart sunk when you heard him breathe out, and you prepared yourself for him to mix out of the embrace because of sudden consciousness he was cuddling with a half-blood Hufflepuff he had been mocking for half of a decade ('I should get going'; 'I didn't mean what I said earlier; 'leave me be, Y/S'). But none of this happened, and he was only murmuring into your ear.

"I presume I should escort you to the dormitory. I could tell you were the whole time with me so no one would get any suspicion if we run into...anyone," he offered, yet you felt him almost grimacing at the thought of ending a moment you were two having.

"Mhm..." you agreed with no more opposition. "But let's give it one more minute."

____________

A/N: This is so typical of me to do something other than what's necessary lmao ;) The second chapter of Summer Nights is almost up if anyone interested. As I think of it now, this one-shot gives me such a vibe of Loud Places/Turn. However, I hope you enjoyed it :) Oh, and I'm explaining the sudden change of schedule with posting: 1. I'm very irresposible; 2. I got the super inspo to scribble this one-shot. Hah, sorry...

[retro-scorpio]

The Arcana Meets The Devildom (Part Two)

Fictional Backstory: Julian, Lucio, and Asra were in the magic shop because (MC) was teaching Lucio how to perform a basic teleportation spell while Julian and Asra were in a side room having tea and talking things through. Lucio’s attempt of the spell goes horribly wrong, and he, along with Julian and Asra, get transported from their world to a world of demons that aren’t exactly like the ones back home. With no immediate way to get back home, they’re stuck in the Devildom indefinitely.

Asra x Purgatory Hall

Simeon: Asra and Simeon get on pretty well. Asra likes how, despite his duties as an angel exchange student in the Devildom (which involve keeping an eye on a certain fledgling to make sure he doesn’t get in too much trouble), Simeon is laid back and relaxed the majority of the time, and Simeon enjoys the fact that Asra can actually cook a tasty, edible meal without setting the kitchen on fire (unlike a certain other magician/sorcerer that lives in the Hall). Simeon feels for Asra and the situation he’s in; after all, he’s not only in a realm he isn’t used to, he’s in a whole other world. So, when he isn’t helping Asra (and Solomon) find a way for him to return to Vesuvia or taking care of Luke, he tries to make Asra feel as comfortable in the Devildom as possible. Sometimes, they will stay up late and exchange stories from their respective worlds, and Simeon may or may not have a notebook full of Asra’s experiences back in Vesuvia that he’s planning on using for inspiration for his writing (he hasn’t decided if he wants to add on to the TSL universe or create something entirely different). 

Solomon: Even though Lucifer and Julian could be alternate versions of each other, their connection in that regard is more cousinly, or perhaps that of distant siblings. Asra and Solomon, meanwhile, might as well be twins. The good news about this relationship is that they’re both very skilled in magic, which means Solomon’s very useful in Asra’s quest to get him and his friends back home to Vesuvia. In exchange, Asra tries his best to help Solomon better his cooking abilities (more for everyone else’s benefit than for Solomon’s, since Solomon loves his cooking as it is). This is the side of their relationship that Simeon sees. The bad news is that they both enjoy messing with people, and the white-headed magicians feed off each other’s energy to become a very chaotic force to be reckoned with in the Devildom. There was one incident when a common demon was bullying Luke when he was out with Solomon and Asra while Simeon was spending time at the House of Lamentation, and the result of the magicians seeing that interaction has led every demon far and wide to fear their wrath. Their favorite person to tease (and sometimes flirt with) by far is Asmo (Asra’s normally the one to start it, and Solomon quickly follows).

Luke: Asra LOVES Luke. Back in Vesuvia, children around Luke’s age and younger would gather around the store front of the magic shop and watch in awe as Asra would perform all kinds of (child-friendly) magic; Asra continues this tradition in the Hall whenever Solomon and Simeon are away. Luke enjoys Asra’s tricks, especially since he seems to have more control over his skills than Solomon does (Luke is wary about Solomon’s magical abilities ever since Solomon “accidentally” turned him into an actual chihuahua). Speaking of feeling more comfortable around Asra than Solomon, Luke will allow Asra to step into the kitchen and help him bake from time to time, when Asra isn’t too busy researching ways to return to Vesuvia. Asra has provided Luke with some recipes, and they have inspired the young angel to combine different Vesuvian elements with Devildom/Celestial aspects to create his own dishes. Asra will also listen seriously to Luke complaining about the different demons in the Devildom and offer genuine advice, unlike Solomon and Simeon, who tease him (Solomon WAY more than Simeon, and Simeon tries to listen to Luke without judgement, but sometimes he’ll let something slip).