#benefits of load testing

[accessiblemindstech]

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[yarnings]

I really wish I could see some sort of analysis of the federal vs provincial wastewater COVID numbers. Because the federal ones show that things are bad and rising, in stark opposition to the beautiful sharp drops on ALL the Ontario graphs.

I'm assuming that it's probably related to either the fact that the federal data for Ontario is really sparse or that the federal data is reporting "copies/mL" (WTF???? am I missing something and this isn't as completely awful as it looks?) for their numbers. And either way the provincial numbers are probably better to use, but I don't want to be unrealistically optimistic here.

[suboficialflores]

Once upon a time I was a Spanish lecturer at a university. They trusted me with 100-300 level classes (lol wild)

Then I was pulled into a Title IX investigation that really had nothing to do with me, and like an idiot I did what I thought was the right thing

If a professor rapes a student and another professor asks you to testify on behalf of the student, you may get fired as retaliation (even though that’s illegal)

Last I knew, the accused professor is still tenured

[yanderenightmare]

Nanami Kento

♡ TW: yandere, NSFW, noncon/dubcon, inexperienced reader, virginity loss, size-difference, abuse of power, lies and manipulation, captive darling, age-gap

♡ FEM reader

You started coming to his home office once a week. 

Unsure of it all, in the beginning, you were so nervous. He looked so strict – sitting opposite you in his dark brown leather chair with such a tight expression on his face. 

But you came around to like him soon enough. 

He was a nice man. Serious but tender with you – putting out freshly baked muffins on the coffee table and always giving you a warm cup of chamomile with vanilla and honey before getting started. 

And he was knowledgeable too – had that mature air about him that seemed so polished and proficient you couldn’t help but hang off every word like it was scripture.

When he told you to stop wearing bras because they hinder natural breast growth, you listened, and when he said that keeping your pussy hairless was important for hygienic purposes, you believed him because you trusted him.

He diagnosed you with virgin anxiety and has been so patient with you ever since, helping you overcome it.

Professional enough to practice with you. Sticking a gloved finger inside your pretty pussy when you’re propped on his examination bed, testing out your tightness with words reassuring you that you just need to wait and allow your body to provide the wetness – smiling at you kindly, that way old men do, more with his eyes than his lips, when you’re weeping with slick enough to accommodate all three of his lengthy fingers inside you – squeezing on him so tight.

You gush, shaking your head while spluttering apologies when you cum around them, but he just rubs your clit slowly, with veteran steadiness – telling you it's only natural and healthy for a young woman like you to be so sensitive under a man's touch – that it’s nothing to be ashamed or scared of – on the contrary, it’s something you should feel very proud of.

He’s also kind enough to give you extra sessions – at least three times a week at his home office – sometimes even breaking his own rules, treating you to a house call, coming to your apartment for a nice little chat. 

He even assigns you daily exercises for you to do on your own – though he encourages you to call him so he can guide you through it. Instructing you to wet your fingers in your mouth first before you touch yourself down there.

He listens to your little moans filtered through the phone – bated breaths and whimpers as you get yourself all bothered and needy for more. 

He tells you to turn on the camera so he can see if you’re doing it right, and you listen – placing the phone in view of your tiny fingers struggling to reach and stuff your cute cunt.

He praises you on your good job – his own camera off, for obvious reasons – he can't have you seeing his raging shaft just yet, or how he jerks it to the sight of your tight little cunt. A deep furrow between his brows and his jaw locked tight, resolute in his plans of coaxing you into giving him your first time. He groans just thinking about it, splurting his load into his fist, listening to you moan for him. “This feels funny, Nanami-san~ Is this right? ~ Please, Nanami-san, teach me~” 

He's been coveting your virginity for months now – grooming you – making you pliant and gullible, and soon, all his patience and hard work would pay off. 

It’s cute that you don’t know it yet… but your pretty little pussy is all his.

He expertly works it into your sessions as an exercise. One he promises you’ll benefit from. Telling you your condition can be blamed on never having studied a real grown man’s cock – that, because it’s such a foreign thing to you, you end up fearing it.

He reminds you how this is a safe space – tells you that all he cares about is your wellbeing – as he sets himself next to you on the couch, his thick thigh next to yours, while buckling up his belt and zipping himself free – taking his fat erection out for you to lay your innocent eyes on.

“Here it is.” He clears his throat with a rusty sigh, sounding relieved when his manhood springs free, standing proud and fat.

His veins flex along his arm beneath dark blonde hair as he strokes the length lazily – up and down slowly. Making old noises – heavy sighs and hums – dragging the foreskin back and revealing its plush mushroomed head.

You take it in with doe eyes.

“Don’t be shy. Tell me your thoughts.”

You swallow thickly at the assignment, blinking out of your stare. Shocked and embarrassed, though curious, but also a little grossed out – you’re not sure what feeling you end up with. “Uhm- It’s very… big.”

He chuckles low at that. “Come on, you can do better. What else?” He urges you, offering another deep but light-hearted laugh. “You can be honest. It’s a little funny looking, huh?”

“Yeah-” You giggle lightly in return, though you’re still somewhat uneasy – sitting as though you plan on leaving, but staying nonetheless, at the edge of your seat – eyes glued to the chubby member, studying the curve of its spine and the veins forking their way up to its head.

“Feel up to touching it?” He asks, and your eyes snap to his – lined with crow’s feet and something so trustworthy. 

But still, you promptly shake your head in embarrassment. “Oh- no, thank you, Nanami-san-” But he’s already taken your smaller hand in his, pulling you back by guiding it to his lap. 

“No, no, little one- this is what we've been training for. You won’t get better if you don’t try.” He scolds you, voice both dismissive and reassuring all at once. “Here- feel it.” 

He wraps your tiny fingers around the stout shaft and overlaps your hand with his, helping you find the rhythm – stroking it nice and slow. 

“There you go, just like that. Good.”

You hesitate at first. Giving your lip a soft bite while thinking about his previous words.

Was he right? Are you scared because you've never looked at or touched a real penis before?

You don't want to be a virgin forever – it's embarrassing as an adult – it makes you still feel like such a silly little girl.

So... if Dr. Nanami says that this will help you overcome your fears, then you suppose...

You'll do it.

You gulp and follow his movement – up and down the large and lengthy pole.

It's so warm – pulsing in your grip, twitching at your soft touch. Skin so thin, almost rubbery, holding something much tougher than you’d imagined.

In your hand, it’s a lot bigger as well. You can’t even reach your fingers around the thickness to touch your thumb.

“All of this goes inside me?” You ask, under your breath – swallowing thickly while he leads your dainty hand downward into the hair around his base, then up to the wet tip, which pilled and trickled with white pearls getting caught between your fingers – warm and sticky.

“That’s right, every inch.” He answers – voice relaxed – pleased by how well you were doing. “Does that scare you?”

You bite your lip and rub your thighs together. “A little…”

“But it makes you feel a little warm, too, hm?” He suggests. “Makes your mouth wet? And also, that soft place between your legs?”

You make a nervous sound, digging your nails into your knee, where you let your other hand rest awkwardly. 

He hums again with a soft chuckle. “Don’t be embarrassed, little one. It’s a good thing.” He ensures, encouragingly squeezing your hand underneath his while lifting the other up to your face, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear – before sliding it across the back of your neck. “Let's see you be brave and give it a taste.”

You hesitate again – this time a little more decidedly. “I don’t think I can-” But Dr. Nanami is strong, keeping your neck in a pinch as he guides you down into a bow.

“It’s alright, I’m here to help you. Just open your mouth, and I’ll show you how.” He insists soothingly. Spreading his thighs out further while laying your head down on his lap, hips moving languidly when brushing his shaft up between your lips. 

It’s so big, so hot, pumping with warmth where you kiss it on the side on a particularly fat and throbbing vein.

He lifts you up slightly and angles the tip into your mouth, creating a cute bulge in your cheek where he rests his hand to keep you down when you flinch at the salty tang getting caught by your saliva. The taste quickly coats your entire tongue.

“Mmh- that’s a big girl~ getting her first mouthful of cock.” Dr. Nanami sighs with a groan, dropping his head back against the couch cushions while pushing up into the pouch of your cheek in lazy thrusts. It strains – makes you feel like it might poke through and make a hole.

He lets it settle there for a moment, enjoying the wet warmth and the unsure movements of your sweet tongue – not knowing where to go with all the space occupied by his meat.

But then he tangles both hands in your hair, gathering it all into a neat ponytail. And, lifting your skull up directly above, he sends his cock down your guzzle even when you whine out in meek protest.

“Breathe through your nose and try your best to swallow it down as far as your throat allows.” He instructs, keeping a tight-knit grip around your hair in one fist whilst the other hand slides down to pet your cheek in soothing circles.

Forcing it down your tight little amateur throat even when your jaw feels like it’s unlocking. 

“Good girl.” He sighed once he’d wedged himself in all the way until your lips kissed the pubes at his base.

Your smaller hands dent the muscle of his thigh, offering a meager push. Mewing out a “Mrph-” while you gag around the trunk. 

He holds you there, roosting inside your throat for another satisfying moment before easing up, pulling you up by your pony.

You gasp, halfway choked on your spit – but he's not much concerned.

“Stand up- let me feel.” He rushes out in a stiff order, ignoring how you cough and slurp for air – forcing you up to stand between his knees. 

His firm hands plant themselves on your hips, being the only sturdy thing balancing you as you wobble – unsteady when he tugs your skirt and panties down until they drop into a pool around your ankles.

He then pulls you onto his lap – seating you with your back leaning against his chest with his cock gliding up through your inner thighs, rubbing against your bare cunt.

You’re still light-headed, bracing yourself against his broad chest while he keeps one thick arm strong around your waist – holding you snug. The other jerks his manhood, tapping it against your clit in soft spit-wet slaps.

“Let’s see how it feels inside you.” He grunts against your ear, resting his chin-stubbled jaw in the dip between your neck and shoulder – looking to where he has your thighs spread over his own.

“N-no, Nanami-san-” You manage to squeak out softly with a voice both teary and hoarse from choking. “Please- I’m not ready-”

But he doesn’t listen – and any struggle you try to inflict ends up aimless where you’re barred beneath his arm – strict and tough with brawn like it’s a seatbelt on a rollercoaster ride.

“I think you're more than ready for it. Trust me.” He’s growling now – so menacingly, you don’t dare speak against it. Only watching the glossy veiny beast with bleary eyes while he rubs through your pussylips with the fat plush bulge topping it – catching your clit and making you gasp before zoning down to your pretty little twitchy hole.

You whine when it’s forced to stretch open as he nudges himself inside the pill-sized opening despite your effort to climb away from it.

“It hurts, Nanami-san!” You cry, but he doesn’t pay it any mind.

“Your virgin pussy will understand it soon. Don’t worry.” He dismisses – continuing to ease his thickness into the tautness, knowing you must be feeling close to tearing apart once his head’s finally swallowed in with a pop, followed by his inches bullying through you one by one, each feeling like a painful mile. 

You cry out, nearly screaming, “Please, Nanami-san! Take it out- it’s too much-” worming on his lap, trying to wiggle it out.

But he has you under reigns, and your struggling only results in him sinking inside you faster. Now, so deep you feel him nuzzle against your womb – and still it keeps sleaving itself until it curves against your walls and pudges out in a cute belly bulge.

“We've trained for this. You need to allow your body the time it takes to get comfortable.” He coos, sounding less on edge now that you’ve taken him inside your comfort.

His chest rumbles with satisfaction against your back as he sits there relaxed, bouncing you slackly but not too much just yet.

He keeps you seated but lifts his other arm to tug off your tiny T-shirt. 

“Here, let's take this off. It’ll help.” He excuses, and you’re a little too desperate for the relief to refuse – listening to the kindness in his voice and lifting your arms in hope, letting him fling it off.

Only in socks now. You throw your head back and whine when he twists one of your pretty nipples into a sore nub – chest arching from the contact. The arm holding you in place slides a hand between your thighs and starts circling your cute button, flicking over it with a gritty fingerprint.

The friction makes your belly bloom all sorts of colors, making you lock and quiver around that big thing he has nestled inside you, throbbing against your womb as he only gently bounces you on his lap – stretching your little pussy out generously as it suckles him so very sweetly – so very wet, drooling on his lap –squeezing him oh-so-snug.

You feel sticky after a while of twisting and refusing. Feeling so full and feverish. Neck wet from tongue and lips – so wet, spit is running slow trails down your chest, cool in the chilly open air of his home office.

You still think you want to stop, but you’re not as tense anymore – resting prettily against his chest. Moaning for each swirl he does over your budding clit – having quaked with pleasure a whole of three times already, gummy walls rippling all along his shaft as you softly loll your hips on him in return.

There’s a pool of your slick between the two of you – having drooled form where it seeps around the tight edges of where he has you stuffed air-tight, running down his balls to gloss the leather seat beneath. 

He takes it as a sign that you’re ready for the real thing. 

It’s almost unfair – how easily your smaller body is held in his hands. Maneuvered so effortlessly as he lifts your thighs up against your chest, then spreads them wide. 

He hooks your knees on his elbows and braids his fingers behind your neck. It's an awkward position, but you’re completely locked in it. Unable to do a thing except wail with moans once he starts pistoning his fat man-cock up inside you. 

It’s way worse when he stands up – bouncing you in the air – holding you folded against his chest, your legs dangling over his arms, jumping as he pounds his meat inside you, stuffing your cunt full on every deep thrust – stabbing your poor stomach until you’re screaming and squirting from the pressure.

Feeling you soak him is the last straw – so tight while spraying a hot mess.

He sits down again, lifting you off his cock before fanning your clit with four fingers – making you gush out every last drop, screaming while raining on his cock until you’ve strangled it out one final time – left shaking.

You’re then ushered down to the floor, on your knees – the top of your head leveled with Dr. Nanamis's big hand, keeping your face forward as he faps his sturdy thickness at your mouth.

“Open your mouth wide.” He orders, his teeth grit while his bulbing cockhead kisses your lips. 

You listen when he gives your little head a shake – rolling your tongue out while dropping your jaw for him.

“That’s a good girl-” He praises, placing his tip on the wet bed of your soft pink tongue, giving his cock only a few more tugs before his balls clenched hard and sent a big fat load through his cock out into your pretty little open mouth.

He groans heavily, almost angrily, squeezing every spurt out – some coming out so heavy it spills up your face and down your chin – but mostly getting caught where you have your lips parted to receive it.

“Good girl.” He repeats, taking in the sight of your painted face – so cute covered in his cum. 

He smiles.

“Now swallow it all down. And don’t waste a single drop. It's rich in vitamins young girls like you need to become proper ladies.”

You don’t want to close your mouth – you want to spit all of it out and rinse the rest with toothpaste and water. But the hand petting your head is so heavy, you don’t dare. So you swallow. Sniffling at the yucky taste once it sits warm in your stomach, still so sticky and gross on your tongue.

But Dr. Nanami seems pleased.

“Moving forward, I think you’ll benefit from closer examination.” He says. “I've made arrangements to have you institutionalized here, where I can keep a closer eye on you and offer more frequent assistance. You still have a long way to go before you’re well, little one. I’m not close to seeing the results I need in order to release you from my care.”

You’re still too shocked by the former events to look confused, but the sick feeling in your gut just keeps growing.

“Don’t worry. We’ll keep training, and soon I’ll have you turned into a proper little cock-pet.”

You want to run, but after what you’re body had just been put through, aching and screaming at you like it was your fault – you knew you wouldn’t be able to do much more than crawl, and something about the still fat cock resting its weight against Dr. Nanamis thigh told you he wasn’t done with you just yet.

“Give my cock some time to rest, and we’ll try it again later.” He confirmed your fears, still with his hand stroking your head like a pet at his feet. “Meanwhile, why don’t you tell me how your sweet pussy liked losing its virginity- and how this little face enjoyed getting its first-ever taste of cock and cum, hm?”

♡ P2 ♡ NANAMI KENTO masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

[wonubby]

my boyfriends...? A CAT ?! - K! BAKUGOU

a bakugou birthday special

wc - 4.6k

skipping some classes to help fight villains wasn't something new to bakugou; in fact, it's become a routine. he'd heard the news that there were some villains in the area and would join the pros with a couple of his classmates.

however this time, the only thing different was that the villain was someone new, and their quirk? a mystery. none of the heroes at the scene could figure it out, as the quirk kept changing! it was truly mind-boggling.

"how the hell is that bastard doing this? he must be a quirk stealer," bakugou muttered to the boy beside him.

kirishima could only break out into a smirk at his friend's claim, "yeah? then we better test that out. i say we charge at him; if he's a quirk stealer, he might steal only one. you in, dynamight?"

"tch, you challenging me, red?" that was all the confirmation the redhead needed to set off with an attack.

the pair worked well together, always meeting each other halfway. whether it be with studying, sports or fighting, the duo complemented each other; everyone could see how well their dynamic was.

bakugou on one side and kirishima on the other, the villain was cornered. just as they were about to attack, their nemesis mummbled something under their breath, blasting an attack at the hot-headed hero, causing him to disappear.

kirishima gasped in shock, quickly tackling the villain down. around him, chaos erupted; the pro heroes were jumping around trying to find bakugou.

the villain was taken from kirishima, immediately put in handcuffs and questioned on what happened to bakugou.

"where did dynamight go?" one of the civilian onlookers said in shock.

the red-headed boy glanced around in search of his best friend, his eyes hopping from place to place. just as he was about to turn around, kirishima caught sight of some movement under bakugou's hero suit.

"huh...?" he slowly crept towards the suit, ears catching a strange sound.

'is... is that a cat?'

as kirishima inched closer, the sound got louder. oh yeah, it was definitely a cat.

lifting up the black pieces of clothing, kirishima was greeted with the unexpected sight of a cat hissing at him with a scowl.

"aw, what a cute kitty! what're you doing under bakugou's clothes, hm?" kirishima cooed, grabbing the cat.

unfortunately for him, the second he lifted the cat towards his face, he was attacked by scratches.

"what the hell — ack!" the cat growled, yowling at the boy.

kirishima pulled the cat away from his face and met the icy stare of its vermilion eyes. oh.

bakugou was the cat.

"THE FUCK?"

cat bakugou scratched the boy again, letting out an aggressive 'mrrowr. the heroes and civilians stopped their actions, glancing at the two boys with dropped jaws.

"wait, is that... dynamight?!" a young girl called out from the crowd, invoking havoc.

all might jumps in, quickly saving kirishima from the assault.

"young bakugou... or cat bakugou? I'm not sure, but stop attacking red riot!" now it was all might's turn to receive a beating from the sharp claws.

a sigh escaped your lips as you patiently waited against the wall for your boyfriend, who was late. bakugou was never late, but because he had been roped into a sudden villain attack, you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

your eyes trailed around the area, swinging from the wall to the vending machine that finally had your favourite drink.

"i guess one wouldn't hurt," you mumbled to yourself.

just as you punched in the code for the drink, the phone in your pocket started vibrating intensely. turning your attention away from the machine, you grabbed your phone, opening it to see messages from the class-1a group chat.

'what nonsense are they talking about now?'

the chat loaded, immediately bombarding you with cute pictures of a fluffy, persian cat with what might've been the softest fur you've ever seen. all the pictures came from kirishima and sero, causing everyone to gush over the cute bundle of fur.

letting out a small 'awww' at the kitty, you quickly type back a response.

Y/NNIE awww kiri, where did you find the cat? ROCK HARD um.. you see, that's kind of what i need to talk to everyone about... IZU-KUN go ahead kirishima! CUM SQUIRTER (MINA) can we save whatever u wanna say for later? rn js come back to the dorms with the kitty!! im sure momo could make some cute clothes for her!!! ROCK HARD ykw sure, but its a boy and he scratches so be careful KIRBY (uraraka) im sure we'll be okay we deal with bakugou on a daily basis YNNIE speaking of kats... where is he? he was supposed to spar with me after the villain attack ROCK HARD he's here with me now, but it's a bit confusing. i'll explain better when we reach the dorms. YNNIE okiee, I'll head back up and meet everyone in the common room!

kirishima didn’t reply after that, which only made your curiosity spike. something was off, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. quickly grabbing your drink, you headed towards the common room.

the walk wasn't too long, but the thoughts of the cat and your boyfriend clouded your mind. thinking of the way the two of you could look after it and play with it! just the thought of your big, burly boyfriend playing with such a small animal had you blushing.

you couldn’t help but imagine him as a dad, married to you, holding your kid with that same grumpy face softened just a little.

the train of thoughts ended when you had finally reached the common room door, and it wasn't exactly quiet in there... i mean, when was it ever?

upon entering, you could hear screams coming from denki, accusing the cat of biting him. 'the cat might be dangerous,' you thought, entering the chaos. the couches that once sat in the centre of the room were now standing upright on the walls, the coffee table was tipped over and everyone looked a mess.

"what the fuck happened?" you questioned, appalled by the state of the room and everyone inside of it. your eyes darted to the feline, taking in its appearance. it was a blonde persian cat, with vermilion eyes glaring at every individual. the moment the cat heard your voice, it let out a loud wail, darting towards you, pawing at your clothes.

nervous, you leaned down to pick up the cat, mentally praying that it doesn't attack you. the moment your arms wrapped around the animal, you felt it nestle into you, softly purring, shocking your classmates.

"huh- wha- ... HOW?" denki cried, arms flailing around dramatically.

"we've been trying to calm him down for so long! kirishima, where did you get the cat from?!" momo's question made you turn to the redhead, suddenly noticing your blonde boyfriend was missing.

a frown washed over your face. now you were really worried. what had happened to your boyfriend?

almost as if it could read your thoughts, the cat in your arms meows softly, nipping at your neck. giving the cat a small smile, you moved your hand to caress its soft fur.

"i'd also like to know where katsuki is," you piped in. you stared angrily at kirishima because he wouldn't get to the point.

kirishima let out a sigh. "bakugou got hit by the villain's quirk-"

"what?! is he okay? where is—"

"he's fine." kirishima grumbled, clearly overstimulated from this whole situation. "as i was saying, bakugou got hit by a quirk which ended up turning him into a cat."

'huh?' now you were super confused.

"if bakugou's a cat, then where-" you paused, looking down into your arms and at the cat. "oh?"

suddenly, a crash was heard.

you fainted.

BAKUGOU'S POV

being a cat was so fucking annoying; first off, everyone wanted to touch me, and second off, i wouldn't even speak! all i could let out were aggressive hisses and stupid meows; don't even get me started with those god-embarrassing purrs. i felt like a fucking freak.

it's even worse that i scared my girlfriend so badly that she fainted. god, what if she hates me or, worse, breaks up with me? i'd kill myself.

initially, when she took me down to the floor with her, i was pissed, but when i noticed she wasn't moving and shitty hair was picking her up, i started panicking. which, obviously, the others took as me being jealous.

fucking idiots. in what world would i, bakugou katsuki, future pro hero, be jealous of that red-haired freak?

as i collected my thoughts, i felt y/n start shuffling on the nurse's bed under me. quickly, my hands paws kneaded at the soft, plush skin of her stomach.

she let out a groan at my movements, fingers slowly coming to pat my fur.

fuck, this was so weird.

"katsuki what are you doing?" her mumble slowly turning into a giggle as my teeth nipped her fingers.

"meow." was the best answer i could let out, and it pissed me the fuck off.

her hands cupped either side of my furry frame, pulling me up so i was resting on her breasts. thank god i was a cat; otherwise my 'embarrassment' at the current position would be clearer than day.

my cat nose infiltrated with the sweet aroma of her perfume. it was my favourite, the one that always had me on my knees. the woody fragrance had my tail swishing, tickling her skin, eliciting more giggles from her.

i could listen to her laugh every day. hearing it made me feel like i was a prince, lying in the flower garden on a warm sunny day with the love of my life beside me. it was the epitome of perfect.

this cat shit made me sappy as fuck, holy shit.

"oh you're up! the cause of your sudden fainting is nothing too serious; it's just a result of surprise by bakugou's current situation. would you like me to call in kirishima to help you get back to the common room?" recovery girl blurted out, kind of intimidated by bakugou's glare.

i hissed at the mention of kirishima. like hell id let him help her.

almost as if sensing my unease, y/n picked me up, cradling me in her arms. "i think im okay, thank you!" and with that, we were off.

BACK TO SECOND PERSON POV

finally nestled back into the poster-covered walls of your room, you collapsed on your bed. the sudden action caused the cat in your arms to yelp, flailing about.

"mm, sorry katsu," you said, softly grazing his head. 'woah he was so soft'

katsuki just stared at you, face softened and eyes bleary. "you know, i don't think i'll ever get used to seeing you as a cat. but you gotta admit, it's nice having you like this."

at your confession, he let out a quiet, but mean, meow. nipping at your shoulder blades.

"ouch! c'mon you know what i meant."

the two of you laid in silence for a few minutes, with the occasional sounds of purrs coming from the cat.

katsuki eyes slowly started feeling heavy, body relaxing on the comforter of your bed as he slowly drifted off to sleep. however sleep never came, the sound of a camera flashing jolted him wake.

quickly sitting up, he pounced on you, attempting to grab your phone. fortunately for you, you were faster. moving out the way, you used your quirk and let out pheromones, which made the cats actions slower.

"kats," you whined, feeling his rough tounge lick at your neck. he hissed, pawing at you as if to telling you to delete the photo. "i'm only keeping it for myself... and maybe for your mom- aak!"

the blonde persian cat continued fighting with you for the phone until he eventually gave up, realising he couldn't do anything while he was a cat.

you glanced at your cat/boyfriend/whatever-he-was, watching him pout and sulk. your heart couldn't help but melt as his appearence. he was so cute, even as cat.

as much as you loved being able to talk with your boyfriend, you found youself loving him as a cat even more. the irritated wails, the soft purring as you stroked his fur and the quiet nips of affection he'd randomly give. but it was also weird, you missed him. the real him.

sighing, you got up, placing him in your arms as you left your room to venture into the kitchen. "come on kitty, lets get you some food."

you received another nip at the nickname.

the trip to the kitchen was fairly quick, but what you hadn't expected was the others also being there. at the sight of you and katsuki, mina shot up immediately running towards you.

"y/n, you're okay!" she squealed, embracing you in a quck hug, crushing the blonde cat between the two of you.

"yrowl," bakugou whined at the sudden compression. you quickly moved away from mina, checking to see if katsuki was alright.

mina gave a sheepish smile, "oh... i forgot about him... sorry bakugou!" she chirped, before continuing. "actually, the girls and i were just talking and thought it'd be pretty cool if we could put bakugou in some clothes, momo already made a few." she rambled.

"oh, um... im not sure mina. i mean, i dont think katsuki would like that." the cat backed you up, letting out a quick meow, glaring at the pink girl.

"c'mon please~ it'd be so cute! we have an allmight cat shirt made for him." she pressed.

katsuki was now getting aggitated, maybe it was the cat hormones but he had the urge to run off and hide. he did not want to be here. and so, he did what he did best.

he leaped out of your arms, scratching mina's legs before running off. "ah, katsuki!" you exclaimed, running after the feline. "sorry mina, ill be right back," you yelled as you continued running.

that damn cat really knew how to run. he turned ever corner until he was at the door of his dorm room, scratching at it, desperately wanting to be let in. he heared footsteps behind him, quickly turning around and baring his teeth, only letting up once he saw that it was you.

sighing in relief that you had finally found your boyfriend, you picked him up, leveling his eyes to yours.

"katsuki, what the hell was that! you can't just run off randomly, you scared the hell out of me." you scolded, watching as his ears flopped down. "i get that this is new for you and you're struggling but come on; so am i. i'm trying my best to make sure you're comfortable so please, don't run off like that again."

to your words, katsuki let out a soft whimper, feeling bad that he caused you to feel this way. he slowly lifted up a paw, reaching out to ur face. you smiled at the action, no matter what body he could be in or what animal your boyfriend was; you were always able to read him.

"i know, i know. i'm sorry for dragging you with me to the kitchen, i didn't know the rest would be there, but for now, lets relax and maybe get you some sleep." you smiled, opening the door to his room, settling him on his bed.

for the next hour, the two of you basked in each others presence. you showed him funny tiktoks (to which he just meowed at), took pictures of him and sending them to his mom and of course, petting him.

turning to katsuki to show him another tiktok, you realise he'd fallen asleep beside you. a small smile crept it's way to your face as you looked at the kitty.

"cat or not, i love you so much katsuki." you whispered, placing a kiss onto his face, letting sleep take over you.

the following morning came quick as you shuffled in bed. you let out a small whine at the sun shining over your face. turning onto your side, your hand slapped something hard and hot.

"stop moving so damn much." the body besides you muttered, trapping you into his arms.

the voice made your eyes flutter open, staring at the boy with your mouth agape.

"kats, you're back to normal look!" you squealed, slapping his bare chest to wake him up.

a groan escaped his lips that made you feel things you probably shouldn't be feeling. "what are you talking about woman." he snarled.

giggling, you push yourself on top of him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "kats, you were a cat for the whole day yesterday and now you're finally back to normal." sleepy katsuki was truly a cutie, he could barely even remember his own name.

katsuki finally opened his eyes, glancing down at his body and yours before letting up a huff. "fuckin' finally, i was getting sick and tired of being a dirty cat." he grumbled, but you knew he was just saying that.

"i'm glad you're back, but i'll miss being able to coddle you like a little baby." you whined, playfully pouting.

"damn woman, you already do that enough." he muttered, cheeks flushing at the memory of how you treated him.

you pressed a small kiss to his cheek, smiling up at him. "well i do love you more as a human, so a win is a win." you placed a soft, innocent kiss on his lips, to which he replied with wrapping his arms around your waist.

as the kiss began to get more heated, you felt something hard and wet poke onto your thigh.

"uh kats...?" you questioned, breaking away from his lips.

"what," he whined, chasing after you.

"um... are you naked?" silence filled the air at your question.

"..."

"..."

thats when he felt it too, the hard-on pressing onto both of your thighs.

"oh what the fuck!" he scrambled up, accidentally throwing your body off of the bed. "shit- sorry!" he yelled, wrapping his sheets against his waist, trying to save face after he'd just popped one out infront of you.

a roar of laughter filled the air at his expression. you just couldn't help it! he looked so ashamed of himself it had you rolling on the floor.

"okay, i get it. now shut the fuck up and get out so i can deal with this," he grumbled, a wave of heat flowing over his body at the situation.

"pfft- katsu, you're so easy." you laughed, getting up and placing another kiss on his sweet lips. "i'll leave you to deal with katsuki jr. if you need me, i'll be making breakfast." you teased.

"oh fuck off." he yelled, throwing a pillow at the door as you left.

katsuki might be back in his human form and you might miss his doting cat-self, but you knew, no matter how rough he was, he really loved you. and that was all that mattered.

© 2025 wonubby— All rights reserved. Please don't post my work as your own on any other sites.

[simmerkate]

Xtra Interactions Mod v3

Take your Sims' social lives to the next level with the Xtra Interactions Mod, now updated to Version 3! This mod introduces a variety of unique, thought-provoking, and entertaining social interactions that bring more depth, realism, and storytelling opportunities to your game. Whether your Sims are debating ethical topics, bonding over family discussions, or simply sharing their love for food, this mod offers something for everyone.

What’s New in Version 3?

New Pie Menu: Family A dedicated Family Pie Menu has been added, offering unique interactions for children, teens, parents, and siblings to enhance family relationships and dynamics. These include:

Child Interactions: Ask for a new sibling, show a birthday gift list, share future dreams, ask about the family tree, or request a new pet.

Teen to Parent Interactions: Discuss college plans, ask to increase allowance, express annoyance at siblings, talk about romances, request prom outfit payments, or confess to skipping school.

Sibling Interactions: Argue over clothes or bathroom time, ask for crush advice, gossip about parents, share concerns about friends, or simply express sibling love.

New Health and Wellness Interactions Expand your Sims' self-care conversations with interactions like:

Share anti-aging tips

Compare morning routines

Discuss the benefits of hydration

Talk about vaccinations

Encourage therapy

Express love for yoga

Talk about "turkey teeth" (cosmetic dental work)

New Activism Interactions (Pie Menu) Help your Sims champion causes they care about with socially-conscious interactions:

Debate animal testing

Debate wage equality

Talk about cleaning the oceans

Discuss saving the turtles

Explore AI ethics

Share wacky water-saving tips

Debate paper vs. plastic

Discuss protesting

Expanded Foodies Talk (Pie Menu) Food-loving Sims can now engage in even more culinary-themed conversations:

Talk about cooking classes

Swap recipes

Debate food trends

Discuss favorite cheeses

Loads of New Buffs Every interaction comes with its own unique positive or negative buffs, bringing a variety of emotional outcomes to your Sims’ social lives. These buffs add depth and unpredictability to gameplay, from joyous moments to tension-filled disagreements.

Why Download the Xtra Interactions Mod?

This mod adds depth and personality to your Sims, making every social interaction meaningful and engaging. It offers:

Diverse Topics: From health and wellness to activism and family dynamics, your Sims can discuss contemporary and relatable topics.

Unique Buffs: Many interactions come with positive or negative emotional buffs, adding variety to outcomes and enriching gameplay.

Enhanced Storytelling: Create richer narratives with dynamic social interactions that impact relationships and moods.

Perfect For

Players who love storytelling and want deeper relationships between Sims.

Simmers looking for new and exciting interactions that add realism and complexity to the game.

Families, foodies, and activists looking for a new way to express their Sims' personalities.

Public Release - 3rd February Download (xx) ad-free

[thefunkfactory]

Sam Zia

Sam Zia had it all. Chiseled jawline, a body carved from years of dedication in the gym, and a TikTok following of millions who worshipped his advice on masculinity, self-improvement, and how to be an alpha male. He preached discipline, hygiene, and success. His fans saw him as the ultimate peak of male perfection.

But one day, everything changed.

It started subtly. Sam, always precise about his diet, began experimenting with the bulk. Not the clean, protein-packed meals he used to swear by, but the dirty, greasy, carb-heavy food that promised quick mass at the expense of digestion. Burgers, protein shakes overloaded with questionable powders, and eggs—dozens of eggs—became his daily fuel.

At first, he felt invincible. His muscles swelled, his energy skyrocketed… but then, a dark force emerged from within. His stomach began to rebel. Gurgling. Churning. And then—the gas.

At first, he tried to suppress it, maintaining his polished alpha image. But then, mid-TikTok live, it happened.

“Yo, fellas, if you wanna be a REAL man, you gotta—” PFFFFFRRRRTT

A deep, reverberating blast escaped him, loud enough to rattle his chair. He froze. His perfectly sculpted face turned a shade of red he hadn’t seen since his first squat failure.

He expected embarrassment. He expected people to call him out.

Instead? The video went viral.

Comments flooded in:

“Bro is so alpha he doesn’t even care.”

“That was the most masculine fart I’ve ever heard.”

“Real men embrace their natural odors.”

And just like that, a new ideology was born.

It started with one video, but Sam, ever the influencer, knew when to capitalize on momentum. The next day, he posted:

“Men today are too obsessed with being ‘clean’ and ‘proper.’ You think our ancestors cared about showers? Nah, they were out there, fighting mammoths, reeking of strength and dominance. Hygiene is a scam. If you smell bad, it means you’re working hard.”

And the crowd ate it up.

Sam leaned in harder. His once pristine, cologne-spritzed gym clothes became stained tanks with unidentified smears. His showers? Less frequent. His grooming? Nonexistent. His content? A full-on campaign to make men embrace their primal state.

“Ditch the deodorant. Stop washing your gym shorts. Embrace the stench.”

And the most legendary part? The farts.

Sam stopped holding them in. If anything, he turned them into a symbol of raw, unfiltered manliness. Every TikTok featured at least one unholy release, accompanied by a smug smirk. His comments turned into a brotherhood of stink.

“Sam, I took your advice. Haven’t washed in two weeks. My girl left me, but I feel powerful.”

“Dude, I farted in my gym and cleared out the weaklings. Only real men remained.”

“A guy at work told me to wear deodorant, so I quit my job. Thanks for the wisdom, king.”

Sam’s influence was undeniable. Gyms nationwide reported an increase in noxious odors. Deodorant companies saw stocks plummet. High-protein, fiber-loaded diets surged in popularity, not for their muscle-building benefits, but for their ability to fuel the movement.

Even brands took notice. Soon, Sam had sponsorship deals—not for cologne or grooming kits, but for industrial-strength air fresheners (marketed for the weak) and bean-based meal plans.

One day, he posted his magnum opus:

“The real test of masculinity? Walk into a crowded elevator. Let it rip. Stand tall. Own it. If people leave, they’re weak. If they stay, they respect you.”

The challenge took off. #ZiaGasChallenge trended worldwide. Videos surfaced of men proudly fumigating locker rooms, parties, and even dates. The movement was unstoppable.

Sam had transformed completely. The man who once championed clean bulking, high-value grooming, and aesthetic perfection was now the undisputed King of the Stink Bros. He lived by his code:

• Laundry is for betas.

• Showers are optional.

• Farts are power.

His mansion, once pristine, now smelled like a mix of protein shakes, gym socks, and raw testosterone. His fans? More loyal than ever.

And as he sat back, inhaling his own toxic masterpiece, he smiled.

Because this? This was true masculinity.

[milkoomi]

a guide on becoming an academic weapon. ᥫ᭡

being an academic weapon is one of the top goals for a lot of us. we strive for excellence and hope to achieve top marks in all our classes so that we can continue to reach whatever it is that may be our final goal like getting into a top university, graduating as valedictorian, or getting into the career of our dreams. this guide will be about all the habits of an academic weapon and what tools & methods you can incorporate into your study/school routine!

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — lecture preperation

pre-reading chapters/lecture powerpoints

skim through chapters, make note of important headings, highlight key terms! if you can, look through any powerpoints that will be used for lecture notes as well!

jot down quick notes like vocab terms, key pieces of information, and/or any questions on topics you want to understand further!

read chapter summaries & highlight important headings

set up your notes

if you like to use different note-taking methods, try setting up your pages beforehand! this will take up less time while in class and you’ll come in already prepared to take any notes!

i have a post on note-taking here on my blog that you can refer to for a few different note-taking methods!

begin homework assignments

my professor will publish homework assignments on sunday mornings for each week that we’re learning new material, so if your teacher does something similar or you’re taking an all-online course, start by working ahead on those homework assignments!

getting a head start can …

help with having a better understanding of the material by the time of your lecture

help you apply the knowledge you learned from the assignments into your lecture

help you come up with questions for better comprehension of the topics

help you manage your time better

reduce your work load later on

start creating flashcards

if you’re required to know key terms/vocab, start creating flashcards ahead of time! this will help you get familiar with the vocabulary that’s related to the material and will jumpstart that increase in understanding of what’s to come in your lecture or any required readings!

୨ৎ — smart studying

we’re always told to “work smarter, not harder” and i believe that doing so can help you achieve success more quickly and efficiently! while it’s great to dedicate a lot of time to your studies, it’s not always optimal. spending hours upon hours working with no breaks in between and forgetting to take care of yourself can lead to burn out, so it’s important to find ways to study that not only help you study more efficiently but also work with your learning type!

trial periods

there are a plethora of study methods out there that you can try out to see which ones work the best for you!

posts with study methods ( + how-to’s ) …

how to study effectively - @milkoomi

non-basic study techniques - @glowettee [ this post is PHENOMENAL! mindy includes so many unique study methods— some that she created herself! — that give an entirely new way to study & learn material! 100/10 recommend reading through this! ]

take some time each week to try out a new study method while still incorporating techniques you’re used to! pick one study method for the week & test it out at the start of your study time slot.

trying out new methods/techniques also help with keeping your study routine fresh and it creates a bigger study arsenal for yourself! having multiple ways of studying just means having a variety of ways to learn the material! every method has its benefits, some will help with memorization while others can help with better comprehension!

pick your big 3

amongst all the different study methods out there, you should pick your top 3 techniques that help you the most! they’ll be your ultimate go-to study methods!

factors to think about for your big 3 …

how much time does the method/technique take?

what is your success rate with the method/technique?

how easy was it for you to incorporate the method/technique into your study routine?

your big 3 study methods should help with maximizing your productivity time, help you achieve your desired grades, & be within your limits while studying, meaning it shouldn’t make you feel like you’re stretching yourself thin because, again, we need to study smarter, not harder!

my personal big 3:

Feynman Technique - teaching others

active recall - practice questions & flashcards

knowledge application - making real life connections

textbook tests

i feel like a lot of us view textbooks as these giant, daunting bricks we’re forced to lug around, but they’re required material for a reason! they’re more than just a giant book of “boring” chapters!

a lot of textbooks have mini assessments at the end of every chapter, so take some time to do them! they’re just practice tests and they’ll be extremely useful for active recall (plus, you don’t have to worry about creating your own practice questions!)

୨ৎ — change your mindset

being an academic weapon means having the mindset of an academic weapon. the way you think and feel about your schooling plays a huge role in this!

“i have to” to “i get to”

treating your academics and studies as if they’re chores will make you lose your motivation and passion for learning. getting to have an education is a privilege and i feel like a lot of us forget that. be thankful that you get to pursue an academic career and get the chance to further your education! instead of “i have to study” say, “i get to study”!

getting an education is a beautiful opportunity in life, so practice gratitude when it comes to learning!

self care

i will always advocate for self care because you can’t do your best when you aren’t at your best. being an academic weapon doesn’t mean throwing your entire life away or setting your health to the side to solely focus on your studies. going to the extremes for your academics shouldn’t be normalized.

you don’t need to pull all-nighters every other day to study, you don’t need to work/study for 14 hours, you don’t need to harshly motivate yourself to get back to studying— you need to treat yourself kindly and shoe yourself gentle care.

get enough sleep

shower, do skincare, brush your teeth

keep yourself hydrated & well-fed

get your body moving

make time for your hobbies & things that make you happy

remember to take breaks when your mind & body needs them

don’t sacrifice your well-being to get ahead on your road to success. you’ll only bring yourself farther behind if you neglect your health.

final notes —

becoming an academic weapon is 60% mindset, 40% work ethic. you have to motivate yourself to give your best work, but! you have to take care of your mind and body before you even think about giving your best work. be kind to yourself, affirm yourself that you can do this! you are more than capable of achieving academic success!

the work you put in as an academic weapon has to be work you’re proud of. be sure that you’re using your time wisely, that you free yourself from distractions while studying, that you give yourself enough time to get work done (and take breaks & do something for yourself!), and that you always give it your all when you’re completing assignments, writing notes, or studying.

i know that you’ll be able to truly be an academic weapon! you have what it takes! you just have to remind yourself of your own potential.

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[i-smoke-chapstick]

‘THE VALLEY, [hard kinks! hcs]

-GOTHAM!VILLAINS X READER-

⋆ Characters ↬ Oswald Cobblepot, Victor Zsasz, Edward Nygma, Jerome Valeska, Jervis Tetch

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; hard and unusual kinks hcs with the gotham villain men

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!villains x female reader. PURE PORN like this is absolutely filthy and descriptive. Some of these are probably too creative and WAY out of character, but oh well. I need to practice my smut writing skills and what better way to do it then with some short scenarios of our boys ? HARD KINKS (all of them are too kinky for there own good) sadomasochistic sex warning for victor and jerome,,, and (sort of?) non-consensual hypnosis warning for jervis, somnophilia and bondage warning for ed. controlling and degrading behavior.

𝛰𝑆𝑊𝐴𝐿𝐷 𝐶𝛰𝐵𝐵𝐿𝐸𝑃𝛰𝑇

♫ “Obey, like I’m your master babe.” The Valley by Miguel

He has a habit of leaving in the mornings. He’s a gangster, a crime lord. He loves his job…you think. But it’s hard. Especially seeing him go. Which is why when the two of you fuck, he makes it worth your while.

Yes, he’s shy. He despises indecency. He doesn’t fuck, he makes love. At least, that’s what he likes to think, so you let him.

But you know better. Oswald can’t control anything about himself. The man is impulsive and spoiled. And when he wants you to feel something, you feel it. For better or for worse.

Which is why when he’s awfully pent up and sexually frustrated, you reap the benefits of the king of gotham’s cock pistoning into you. He needs to feel wanted. He needs the two of you to feel loved. He thinks the two of you are sweetly and slowly fucking in his mind. But in reality?

His thick length is hammering into you, selfishly ignoring your pleas. No, he gets drunk on them. Even if he doesn’t want to admit how obscene he’s being.

You’ll feel his sticky tip align with your pussy. He means to enter you slowly, but before you know it, he’s letting himself go. Every inch of his cock is filling you up, taking you in. His eyes are rolling back as he feels you clench around him, and he tries to push all the more unsavory thoughts out of his head.

Thoughts of you tied up. Worshipping him. Unable to resist him. Thoughts of you riding his thighs, while he gives the order to shoot someone dead. The idea of you bending to him, being a good servant. Kissing his shoes, groveling and kneeling. Degrading you.

His fingers sink into the fat of your thighs and ass, clawing at any part of you he can grasp.

His mother taught him better, he reprimands himself. But how can he stay composed and loving when you look at him like he’s the only man in the world?

Oh, he wants to make you feel good, loved, and have this be an act of intimacy. It’s what he was raised to believe sex was for. But he also wants you on your knees, choking on his length, collared like a dog.

𝑉𝐼𝐶𝑇𝛰𝑅 𝑍𝑆𝐴𝑆𝑍

♫ “I wanna fuck like we're filming in the valley.” The Valley by Miguel

Victor is always upfront with what he wants. And he’s been around the block one too many times. He’s fucked around quite a bit. He’s a ladies man, what can he say?

Which is why vanilla sex is entirely boring to him. Well, maybe not entirely. Not with you.

But theres something so special about mixing physical pain, his sole desire, with you, his other sole desire. It’s his lifes work, meeting the love of his life. What’s not to like?

Which is why he blunty suggests the idea. And boy is he glad he did.

A phone camera is pushed into your face while he records everything. The sloppy noises of your pretty pink mouth slipping and sliding around his cock.

It’s not just any homemade porno either, no. It’s a borderline snuff film.

He films himself slotting his cock into your swollen lips, one hand recording, another hand on a pistol pressed firmly against your head while you choke on his cock. The gun isn’t loaded of course, at least, you don’t think it is.

If the gun is loaded, you’re sure he’s playing a dangerous game with himself. Testing his own capabilities. He’s the best of the best, and his fingers are placed firmly on the trigger. If he loses control or focus for even a moment, you could never see the light of day again. Each time he cums is like a self-made test for himself, an ego trip. He’s excercising the greatest control not to accidentally pull the trigger and pop your top.

You’re spitting wildly, tears and saliva and cum mixing on your face. You’ve been sucking him off for what feels like hours, playing this game, and it’s still not enough. No, the man could live his whole life with your face inbetween his thighs. You have no clue what round you’re on.

“There you go…sweetness. Uh-huh…take it.” He’ll press the gun further into your temple, talking down to you slowly. It’s awfully demeaning.

He never shuts the fuck up during sex. This is no exception. His dry humor persists in every word, even as his gun comes into contact with your fucked out wet face, or a blade slices through your sweet soft thighs.

He’s doing close-up shots of every cut he makes on your skin. He marks the both of you, respectively. He keeps the videos in his pocket for later. Y’know, just in case you aren’t there, and he needs something to jack off to. He’s a manwhore, and he can admit it.

He’ll ask to show the videos to Wendell. Just so he knows Victor wasn’t lying about his girl being a total catch.

𝐸𝐷𝑊𝐴𝑅𝐷 𝑁𝑌𝐺𝑀𝐴

♫ “I wanna taste your sweat, force my fingers in your mouth.” The Valley by Miguel

Oh, Eddy. Ever the show man. Oddly enough, I think he has the dirtiest mind and the highest sex drive out of everyone on this list. In the words of CMS, "He loves donuts and getting laid." You're no exception babe.

Similarly, he isn't the kinkiest when he's at the GCPD. The poor baby is so vanilla; so eager to please. If you want a man to put your needs above his own? Look no further. Eddy is your guy. But similar to Ozzy, the man grapples with control. How can he resist when your small sleeping body looks so innocent? So willing?

You wake up to him pumping his dick deep into your hole, groping your breasts and ass, hips plowing harshly into your stretched cunt. He wants to apologize, for waking you. He feels bad of taking advantage of you. But it's your fault. The man is a little bit of a creep and has gone his whole life without pussy. What did you expect?

That being said...when he undergoes his transformation of sorts? It's like he has something to prove, to you and himself. Riddler baby is tired of hiding in the shadows, no, it's show time. If you thought the somnophilia was kinky, you've seen nothing yet.

Season 3-4 Ed is desperate to dominate you. Claim you in every way. Prove to himself that you're not going anywhere. It's a deep seated need to exert control, with a touch of dramatic flair.

Which is why, from time to time, especially on special occasions, you'll wake up from being drugged, ball-gagged in a warehouse, tied to a chair, moaning around a vibrator overstimulated against your cunny. He'll watch the whole show, pleased with his handiwork.

Might even turn it into a game. How many riddles can you answer? Maybe if you get one right, he'll let you cum. And if you don't get one right, prepare to be in for a long, long night.

Ed's pushing his thick long fingers into your tight little pussy, watching your cream spread along his fingertips. He'll force his fingers in your mouth, making you taste yourself. Making you taste what he's doing to you.

He's giggling while he does so, smile wide while you gag around him. Oh, this will be fun.

𝐽𝐸𝑅𝛰𝑀𝐸 𝑉𝐴𝐿𝐸𝑆𝐾𝐴

♫ “lips, tits, clit, sit.” The Valley by Miguel

Would it be too brave to go on record to say the mans a virgin? I'm sorry, but he didn't get any pussy in that carnival.

Which is why he's incredibly sex starved. The man is feral. Hungry. He fucks you like a dog in heat half the time. You're his own personal pocket pussy, who will love him no matter what.

So when he tells you to do something, you better do it.

For instance, when he tells you to sit on his face, he means sit. No hovering. No, he wants the entirety of your weight in his mouth so he can tongue fuck you into oblivion.

He's wildly gripping at you, laughing like a mad man as he keeps you in place firmly. He's digging into your cunt with his tongue like a man whose getting his first lick of pussy. He's slapping your ass, letting you ride his face like a cowgirl.

He'll slap your sopping cunt. He'll spit in your mouth, on your face, on your pussy. He loves everything feral and sloppy. And for his own good, the man can't shut up. He loves some good dirty talk.

"Hah! There you go, doll. You want it raw? You do, don'tcha? Naughty, naughty girl." Excuse his breeding kink. "Should just pump you right up with my cum. Get you all messy. Cream-pie you riiiiiiight here," He cackles, hand hovering over you're lower stomach.

He likes seeing your face contort in pleasure and pain when your thighs scratch the staples on his face.

Oh, he's a biter. Your thighs might be bleeding by the time he's done, biting hard enough to break skin. You'll yelp in pain and it will spur him on, like you're his own personal show to watch.

God, please hit him back. Slap him. Push him around. He adores it- the two of you fucking like wild animals, clawing and at each others throats, all the while his girthy length his pounding into your sweet tight hole.

𝐽𝐸𝑅𝑉𝐼𝑆 𝑇𝐸𝑇𝐶𝐻

♫ “Tell me that you love it darling." The Valley by Miguel

Jervis has a very deep seated need to have you close to him. To have you bonded with him. He's obsessive, clingy, stalkerish. And he loves a good old fashioned Victorian flirtation. But god, he gets tired of waiting.

He's a gentlemen through and through. But even gentlemen have needs. And when he sees you in that light blue dress he bought you, pussy peaking out through the short skirt? Or how you lick your lips when the tea he makes you dribbles down?

He'll have to take what he wants eventually.

He knows you'll say yes. Even though the two of you have never talked about sex. No, you're his Alice. His willing little girl. Why would you ever say no to him? And he's right. He could ask, and you would probably say yes.

But, just for a precaution...Can't have you running off like the white rabbit, can he?

It will be late night after the two of you have tea. And he'll pull out his pocket watch. And before you know it, you'll be pinned on top a table, dress pooling between your legs, pulling on his hair against your will.

It's a sight he will never sick of. His sticky ropes of cum dripping, tainting the dress he'd bought you. It trickles down from your spine. You'll be too fucked out to walk the next day, and you won't even remember why.

He takes you, ignoring your pleas and whines of overstimulation. He'll continue to stuff his cock inside you until he feels pity for you.

Hypnotizing you while he's balls-deep inside of you, messily thrusting as he tries to concentrate. "You love this. Tell me you love me. Tell me you love this." His words scramble as he comes undone himself, letting your mind wash over and speak the words against your will.

If somehow you piece two and two together, the cum stains on your dress- and the feeling of being stretched out the next morning...assure him he doesn't have to hypnotize you.

Or let him keep it up. It's more fun for him this way.

[pforestsims]

🙄

So.. Here's this...

Basically, the smallest mipmap has to be 1x1 pixels.

If it's something else, like 1x2 px, 2x2 px - you end up with a texture that's ~30% larger and with no performance benefits, because TS2 game won't use those mipmaps.

If you're a mipmap enthusiast, pay attention to that top mipmap.

Tip: when building DXT with mipmaps in SimPe, set mipmap level to 12. It will be lowered to required level.

I've already tested a few decor items and clothing recolors and it's always the same. 512x512 texture requires mipmap level 10, 1024x1024 texture requires mipmap level 11.

I stopped building mipmaps for TS2 cc a while ago, mostly because of texture blur. I also remove those from various bits of cc I download. But I still have loads of cc that contains mipmaps.

I've been wondering why only some textures suffer from sharp quality drop on slight zoom-out when mipmaps are present. And now I know. Some of those don't even work. It's just additional, useless data.

To clarify: yes, mipmaps make textures more blurry on zoom-out. For certain textures with non-alpha transparency, mipmaps help reduce scaling artifacts and might improve visuals.

In case of flat stuff with detailed textures - artworks, posters - there are no visual benefits of using mipmaps in TS2, removing mipmaps will improve texture quality at slight zoom-out.

Here are my test DXT textures. These have multicolor mipmaps (each imported manually) - so you can clearly see if those are functional or not. It should work as shown above, but one texture is always grey because mipmap level is too low.

[il-predestinato]

hello beautiful elle

since it is going to be a long 3 months without our boys could you please recommend some fics that you liked? cause i really like your writings and how realistic they are and i wanted to get some of you suggestions for the break!

love you loads

Thank you, lovely anon, for your very kind message! 🥺 I must admit I have fallen behind in reading fics. I am sure I am forgetting some excellent Lestappen fics/writers, but these are some of my all-time favourites!

Lestappen Fic Recs:

And in the end I will seek you out amongst the stars by mandzilkos (@geeeooorrrge) - rating: G, 22k words

Soulmate AU where you see in black and white until you meet your soulmate, and the world goes back to black and white after your soulmate dies. This is ALWAYS the first Lestappen fic that comes to mind whenever anyone asks for a recommendation, and it is probably my all-time favourite. The fic that inspired me to write Lestappen, if I'm honest.

getting half of you just ain't enough by shybear_styles - rating: E, 20k words

The friends with benefits story that spans the 2019 season. The only thing better than amazing smut is amazing smut with feels. For sure a top 5 fic in the Lestappen fandom for me. Also, this author is simply amazing in general and you should read all of her fics! I haven't given up hope that she will return one day and write more Lestappen. 🤧

you feel the mornin' feel by shybear_styles - rating: M, 3.3k words

Remember that time Sebastian Vettel asked Charles, "Is he [Max] pretty?" And we never got an answer because Charles descended into gay panic? Well, worry not! We get an answer in this fic.

Monaco Malaise by ProngsfootxJily (@cupidskissx) - rating: E, 8k words

Rivals with benefits, takes place after the 2021 Monaco Grand Prix. Yes, this one is delicious smut but also a character study. Both of them are written so well, and it leaves you begging for more. Don't forget to check out the equally amazing sequel! (Don't worry, I have been relentlessly harassing her to write the sequel's sequel.)

algorithm by Anney (@badboy-george) - rating: M, 17k words

In a world where F1 uses simulation-based compatibility tests, five times Max doesn't find the right partner and the one time he does. Black Mirror ("San Junipero" and "Hang the DJ") vibes in the best way. Another one of my absolute favourite fics. If you've read any Lestappen fics, you've probably read "Every Other Sunday." This one is simply a masterpiece by the immensely talented Anney; definitely check out her other fics!

panem et circenses by Anney - rating: E, 13.2k words

Wow - simply devastating, haunting, an ode to these two as drivers, set in a dystopian future AU. The world building is absolutely incredible, but at its heart is such a beautiful story of love and hope. This one doesn't get enough recognition. (TW: implied non-con, not between Lestappen.)

Unlearn by wantinghopingwriting (Tazza1993) (@lightsoutfullhearts) - NR, 45k words

This is another all-time favourite, a must-read. Fake/pretend relationship to lovers multi-chapter story that is ever so satisfying; both of them are so well characterized. Set in a parallel-ish 2022 season. I really cannot recommend this one enough.

the edge of what can be loved by Ledger_m (@the-last-jedis) - rating: T, 13k words

The third wheel fic from the perspective of Max and Charles' various "Steves." It's funny, heartwarming, and everyone on the grid is nosy as fuck.

Charles Leclerc vs Red Bull caps by Ledger_m - rating: T, 6.4k words

Charles is the hero we all need, as he goes on a mission to get rid of all of Max's stupid Red Bull caps. This is REQUIRED reading! Kami is a genius. Go read all of her fics.

If You Don't Play, You'll Never Win by antimonyandthyme (@antimonyandthyme) - rating: T, 4.1k

Post 2021 Monaco Grand Prix. Max wants to take their relationship further; Charles... doesn't. Oh my God, where do I begin to describe how much I love this fic. The language is beautiful, both of them are so well-written, and I feel punched in the gut over and over again in the best way. The ending (well, the whole thing) is so damn satisfying.

all's well that ends well (to end up with you) by stylestappen (@stylestappen) - rating: G, 3k words

Max has a meltdown in the cereal aisle (yes, the cereal aisle) at 3 am when he realizes he is in love with Charles despite the latter's questionable taste in cereal. Dani has an absolutely wicked sense of humour! (Although I don't understand what she has against cocoa puffs 😭.) She also wrote a banger of a Lestappen soon-to-be teammates fic, so make sure to check out her profile.

Max Verstappen: Spotify Extraordinaire by frnndtorres - rating: G, 26k words

Max makes Spotify playlists for the grid. Fluffy, funny, care-free, liberal use of nicknames, with a healthy dose of feels between Max and Charles. A really fun read.

i love the way your green eyes mix with that malibu indigo by altissimozucca (@altisssimozucca) - rating: G, 11k words

Max and Charles spend summer of 2020 together in Malibu and try not to fall in love. Spoiler alert: they fall in love. I feel the urge to explain something: When I first started reading Lestappen, there were less than 250 fics in their entire tag (yeah I know, we are currently close to 3000 fics, which is insane). From 2019-2021, we truly lived off crumbs. So trust me when I say that we owe so much to altissimozucca, who wrote something like 40% of the fics in the Lestappen tag and nearly single-handedly kept us fed in those days. It's so hard to pick one of her fics to recommend, so make sure you check out her profile for more!

#803442 by altissimozucca - rating: M, 1k words

Max and Charles celebrate the end of the 2019 season in a hotel room. So soft, so fluffy, so satisfying.

Bruises by eefiplier - rating: E, 5.1k words

I think of this one as THE Lestappen smut fic. Oh my God, it's 5k words of amazing established relationship smut with all the feels. A classic. I can read this one over and over again.

outside the box by playclock (@endowataru) - rating: M, 6.1k words

Max falls in love with Charles' driving... oh and Charles himself too. They are ultra competitive idiots who are madly in love. There aren't enough established relationship fics out there, but this one is simply amazing. And don't forget to check out this author's profile for additional Lestappen fics. I promise every single one is a banger!

i made it link by link by purpleglasseswrites (@f-ferrari-forever) - rating: M, 4.2k words

Charles and Max try to be kinky, but who are they kidding - they are far too vanilla for that stuff. 🤣 This one is so sweet, and don't forget to read the sequel!

One man's trash, another man's treasure by AzziNow (@track-terror-apologist) - rating: T, 4.2k words

Charles turns into a raccoon and terrorizes everyone except Max. (Well, he terrorizes Max too... slightly.)

Call it madness, call it love… by AzziNow - rating: M, 3.5k words

Ferrari auctions off Charles for charity. No angst, just fluff. Alpha!Max/Alpha!Charles. So I confess that I never read A/B/O fics. There's nothing wrong with it - just not my cup of tea. But I really enjoyed this one. Al has such a chaotic sense of humour.

it all reminds me of you by grandprix (@grandprix-ao3) - rating: E, 3k words

Secret relationship Lestappen with flashbacks. Oh the yearning, the desire, the smut - incredibly satisfying. I must put a plug-in for this author's other Lestappen fics as well. Never misses - make sure to check them out!

burning you into my mind by thightattoos - rating: E, 4.1k words

Porn with feels and possessiveness. You cannot ask for anything more. I must have read this one a dozen times.

an evil plan or two by witchee_writer - rating: T, 5.2k words

Max and Charles are roped into a plan to get Brocedes back together; they come to a few realizations along the way. The only thing better than a Lestappen fic? A Lestappen AND Brocedes fic!

Fine Line by empireoffclouds - rating: NR, 7k words

One of the more light-hearted enemies to friends to lovers fics. I absolutely adore their dynamic here - it's snarky, warm, but also so them. The incomplete sequel is also a super fun read.

Into Darkness Of Thought by flamingosarepink - rating: T, 1k words

After the 2019 Japanese Grand Prix, Charles thinks Max isn't coming back to their shared space.

steal softly under castle walls by untouchableocean - rating: G, 521 words

Max gets home late from Milton Keynes and Charles has already fallen asleep. Short, tooth-rooting fluff of the best kind.

Zoomies by greeny1710 (@maxlambiase) - rating: E, 2.2k words

This one is just hilarious. A (mostly) naked Max walks into Charles' team Zoom call during the COVID lockdown.

...and many, many more that I'm sure I have forgotten! 🙈 You can also check out my AO3 bookmarks (the first few pages are pretty much all Lestappen fics).

Please remember to leave kudos and comments for these amazing writers. The talent in this fandom is absolutely incredible. They all deserve so much recognition. Happy reading!

[accessiblemindstech]

By ensuring your software is meticulously tested for global readiness, we help you deliver seamless user experiences across diverse languages and cultures. Let's transform your product into a global phenomenon, reaching audiences far and wide with precision and reliability. https://bit.ly/3EKzvs2 #SDET #GlobalProduct #LanguageGap #SoftwareTesting #UserExperience #Localization SDET Tech

[nameless-jamie]

Hey love, your writing is absolutely amazing and I’m obsessed with it! I love the way you write Jamie 🫶🏼

I’d really love to read a friends with benefits fic with Jamie being jealous and then confessing his love for reader in the messiest and cutest way lol🥰

Thank you 🤍

French With Benefits

One Shot - Jamie Tartt x fem! reader

Masterlist

Trope: Friends-With-Benefits

TW: cursing, suggestive scene/language, smut, FWB, angst, drama

A/N: Helloooo, I tried my best to write this. I really like the idea of Y/N being Richard's French little sister. Everything I wrote in French is translated in brackets after. My French is all Google Translate, I'm sorry french people! I took French for 3 years in school but I'm still bad at it. Also, this fic is veryyyyyyyyy cheesy TW.

Y/N adjusted the strap of her bag as she stepped into the hallway of Nelson Road. The faint echo of laughter and the distant thud of a football against the ground hummed through the air. She glanced down at her phone, scrolling through Richard’s last text: Meet me by the locker room. Don’t get lost, petite sœur.

The air smelled faintly of turf and sweat, not exactly pleasant, but oddly comforting. As she rounded the corner, a burst of noise and movement caught her attention—players spilling out of the locker room, laughing and tossing jabs at each other. Amidst the crowd, her eyes snagged on one figure.

Jamie Tartt.

She recognized him immediately from the matches she’d watched on TV with Richard. His presence was magnetic even from a distance—dark hair styled to perfection, that cocky smirk resting casually on his lips as if he owned every room he stepped into. He wore his Richmond training kit like it was designer, sleeves clinging to his arms in a way that was definitely intentional.

Jamie’s gaze flicked her way, and his smile shifted. Slower. Sharper. A flicker of interest sparks in his eyes.

“Oi, Rich,” Jamie called over his shoulder without looking away. “Who’s this, then?”

“Don’t even think about it, Tartt.” Richard stepped between them like a shield, his smile easy but his tone firm. “This is my sister, Y/N. Elle vit avec moi maintenant. Et toi—” His eyes narrowed in warning. “—tu la laisses tranquille.” (She’s living with me now. And you—you leave her alone.)

Jamie tilted his head, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Didn’t know you had a sister, mate. Thought you were just blessed with that pretty face of yours.” His gaze slid back to Y/N, and the smirk deepened. “Guess good looks run in the family, eh?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Is that your best line, or did you leave the good ones on the pitch?”

The players around them chuckled. Sam clapped Jamie on the shoulder as he passed, shaking his head. “Careful, Jamie. Richard’s already loading up his threats in French.”

“Eh, I’ve been threatened in worse languages,” Jamie shot back, eyes still locked on Y/N like she was a challenge he was ready to take on.

“Come on, Y/N.” Richard placed a protective hand on her shoulder. “Don’t let Tartt get in your head. He’s not worth the trouble.”

“Oi, rude,” Jamie called after them, but Y/N didn’t miss the way his gaze followed her as they walked away.

And she definitely didn’t miss the way her pulse kicked up beneath her skin.

To celebrate Y/n's arrival the team decided to have a little night out at Sam's restaurant. And while her brother used the evening to test out the restaurant's whole wine card and get drunk off his ass, Y/n was tired and ready to go home. In between her brother's horrible childhood stories and Jamie's flirty looks, she was desperate for some air right now.

The air outside Ola’s carried the faint hum of traffic and the distant buzz of laughter from inside the restaurant. Y/N tugged her coat tighter around her shoulders, cursing herself for not bringing something warmer.

“Oi, you alright?” Jamie’s voice cut through the quiet, and she glanced up to find him watching her from a few steps away. Hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched—casual, but there was something sharp in his gaze.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “Richard fell asleep on the table and I'm tired, so I should probably—”

“I’ll walk you,” Jamie offered before she could finish.

She blinked. “I don’t need an escort.”

“Didn’t say you needed one.” He shrugged, the corner of his mouth tugging up. “But I’ve had a few, and I reckon it’s either walk you home or risk Keeley takin’ my keys ‘cause she thinks I’m too pissed to drive.”

“Right. So I’m your designated stroll, then?”

“Somethin’ like that.”

She should’ve said no. Really, she should have. But her feet were already moving, and Jamie fell into step beside her. The distant hum of the city wrapped around them as they walked down the quiet street, the air thick with words unspoken.

For a while, neither of them spoke. Their footsteps echoed against the pavement, and every brush of his shoulder against hers sent sparks along her skin. She hated the way her pulse jumped whenever he was close—the way his presence seemed to take up more space than it should.

“So,” Jamie finally broke the silence, his voice low. “Rich mentioned you’re studyin’ here, yeah? What’s that like?”

“It’s… fine.” She glanced sideways, catching the faint glint of streetlights in his eyes. “Though I didn’t expect to have a built-in babysitter. Our parents basically assigned Richard to watch my every move.”

“Yeah, he’s proper protective, innit?” Jamie chuckled, shaking his head. “Man’s actin’ like London’s full of villains tryin’ to steal his sister away.”

“More like trying to keep me away from certain bad influences,” she shot back pointedly, arching a brow at him.

Jamie’s smirk didn’t waver. “What, me? I’m a saint, love.”

Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Please. You’ve been flirting with me since the moment we met.”

“Can’t blame a bloke for tryin’,” he said, voice dipping into something rougher, something that slid beneath her skin. His gaze flicked to her lips, just for a second. Barely a glance—but she noticed.

Her heart did that stupid, traitorous flip again.

“Richard told you to stay away from me,” she reminded him, though her voice was softer now, less certain.

Jamie stepped closer. Not enough to touch—but close enough that the air between them felt heavy, electric. “Yeah… but the thing is, you ain’t told me to stay away.”

Silence.

Thick, weighted silence that seemed to crackle with every second that passed.

Y/N’s breath caught in her chest. She should say something. Anything. Tell him to back off, remind him of all the reasons this was a bad idea.

Instead, she stood frozen as his gaze dropped to her lips again, lingering this time.

“Jamie…” she started, but she didn’t know how to finish.

“Yeah?” His voice was a rasp now, rough with something unsaid.

God, this was so stupid. So reckless. Richard would kill them both.

But when Jamie took another step forward—close enough now that his breath ghosted against her skin—she couldn’t make herself move away.

“This is a bad idea,” she whispered.

“Probably,” Jamie agreed. His hand lifted, brushing her cheek with the faintest touch, and the heat of it burned through her like fire. “So tell me to stop.”

Her pulse pounded in her throat. “I—”

But the words wouldn’t come.

And then Jamie kissed her.

It wasn’t soft. Wasn’t tentative. Weeks of tension snapped like a rubber band, and the kiss hit like a spark to dry tinder—fast, hot, and all-consuming. His hands slid to her waist, pulling her against him as her fingers tangled in his jacket, holding on like she might drown if she let go.

The world around them dissolved into heat and pressure, the faint distant sounds of the city fading until there was nothing but the rough scrape of his stubble against her skin, the heat of his mouth on hers, the desperate press of their bodies against each other.

She should stop this. She should.

But God, it felt too good.

Jamie pulled back just enough to catch his breath, forehead resting against hers. His thumb traced her jaw as if memorizing the shape of her.

“You alright?” he murmured, voice rough.

“Yeah,” she managed, her pulse still racing.

His thumb brushed the corner of her mouth. “Fuck, Rich is going to kill me if he finds out,” he said again, quieter this time.

"Who says he'll find out?" She whispered and kissed him again.

That's how their secret arrangement started. Sneaking around behind Richard's back. Neither of them fully ready to commit... a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship.

It was a Sunday evening, rain pattered softly against the window of Jamie’s flat, the faint hum of city traffic muffled by the walls. The air inside was warm, faintly tinged with the scent of his cologne—woodsy, with a hint of spice—and something about it made Y/N’s pulse thrum harder against her ribs.

She stood just inside the doorway, coat still clutched in her hands, heart hammering against her chest as Jamie leaned against the kitchen counter, watching her with that unreadable gaze of his. His gray t-shirt clung to his chest, his sweats hanging low on his hips—effortlessly casual, but the tension in his shoulders betrayed the heat simmering beneath the surface.

Neither of them had spoken since she arrived. They didn’t need to. The air between them was thick with all the things they wouldn’t say—couldn’t say.

Jamie tilted his head slightly, eyes dragging over her like a slow burn. “Bit late for a booty call, yeah?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Y/N admitted, her voice quieter than she intended. She dropped her coat onto the nearby chair, her fingers trembling slightly as she adjusted the hem of her sweater.

Jamie pushed off the counter, crossing the room with that slow, deliberate stride that always made her breath catch. He stopped in front of her, so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body. His gaze dropped to her lips, lingering there before meeting her eyes again.

“You shouldn’t be here this late. Rich will find out...” he murmured, though he made no move to step back.

“I know.” Her pulse pounded in her throat. “But I am here now.”

Silence stretched between them—thick, heavy, electric.

Then Jamie reached for her.

His hands slid into her hair as his mouth claimed hers, hot and desperate, like he’d been holding himself back for weeks and couldn’t do it a second longer. Y/N clung to his shoulders as he backed her toward the wall, the faint scrape of her shoes against the floor drowned out by the sharp hitch of her breath when her back hit the cool surface.

Jamie’s hands roamed her body with a roughness that spoke of barely contained restraint, fingers gripping her waist, her hips, as if trying to memorize the shape of her. Their kisses were messy, frantic—weeks of pent-up tension crashing over them in a tidal wave neither of them could stop.

Somewhere between heated kisses and hurried hands, they stumbled toward the bedroom, clothes hitting the floor piece by piece. The room was dim, lit only by the faint glow of the city through the curtains, casting shadows that danced across bare skin.

His gaze burned into hers—intense, unguarded in a way that made her breath catch. His thumb traced the curve of her cheek, and for a moment, the air between them shifted. Slowed.

“Tell me to stop, baby” he whispered against her lips, the same words he’d said that first night.

But she couldn’t.

She didn’t want to.

!!!SMUT!!!

Instead, she gripped the front of his t-shirt and pulled him back into a kiss—harder this time, fiercer. Jamie groaned low in his throat as their mouths collided, hands sliding over her waist, her back like he couldn’t get close enough. The edge of the mattress hit the back of her knees, and she fell onto it with a soft gasp as Jamie followed her down, his weight pressing her into the sheets.

His hands slid beneath her sweater, fingers skimming the bare skin of her waist as he pushed it upward. Y/N arched into his touch, her breath catching as his thumb grazed the underside of her breast. Their kisses turned messy—teeth clashing, breaths mingling—like weeks of restraint were finally breaking apart all at once.

“Been thinkin’ about this all week,” Jamie rasped against her throat, his lips trailing down to her collarbone. “Damn near lost my mind watchin’ you at training the other day… standin’ there like you had no clue what you do to me. In these tight fuckin' jeans.”

“Jamie—” Her protest melted into a gasp as his teeth grazed her skin, just enough to leave a mark she’d have to cover up later.

“Gonna have to be quiet, love,” he whispered against her ear, hands sliding beneath the waistband of her pants. “Unless you want my neighbors knockin’ down the door again, yeah?”

“Shut up,” she managed breathlessly, but her words dissolved into a sharp inhale as his fingers found her, slow and deliberate, teasing her through her underwear until she was clutching at his shoulders, hips shifting beneath him.

“Always so impatient,” Jamie chuckled, voice rough with amusement. “You want somethin’, you just gotta ask, yeah?”

“Jamie, please—”

“Please what?”

Her nails dug into his back through his shirt, her frustration clear in the way her breath hitched. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Say it for me, baby,” he demanded, his lips brushing her jaw.

“Touch me.” The words came out softer than she intended, but Jamie groaned like they unraveled him.

“Good girl,” he murmured, slipping beneath the fabric and pressing his fingers against her where she needed him most. Her breath hitched, hands fisting in the sheets as he found a rhythm that had her pulse thrumming in her veins. His mouth found hers again, swallowing the sounds that slipped from her lips as tension coiled tight in her stomach.

“Look at me,” he whispered against her lips. When she did—eyes meeting his, breathless and vulnerable—something inside him seemed to shift. His gaze darkened, the teasing edge falling away until all that was left was raw, unfiltered want.

Her release hit fast and hard, heat crashing through her as her back arched against him. Jamie held her through it, pressing kisses to her jaw, her cheek, her lips—soft, almost reverent, as if trying to memorize the way she fell apart beneath him.

As the tremors faded, she slumped back against the mattress, chest heaving as Jamie kissed the corner of her mouth, her cheek, her jaw. His fingers tangled with hers against the sheets, and for a moment—just a moment—the world outside this room didn’t exist.

But somewhere in the back of her mind, Y/N knew this wasn’t supposed to feel like more.

And yet, the way Jamie pressed his forehead to hers, breathing hard as if trying to slow the hammering of his own heart—she couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too.

!!!SMUT OVER!!!

Later, as they lay tangled in the sheets, their breaths slowing, Y/N couldn’t ignore the ache blooming in her chest. This was supposed to be just physical. No strings. No emotions.

So why did it feel like something more?

Beside her, Jamie’s arm was draped loosely over her waist, his fingers tracing idle patterns against her skin. His breathing had evened out, but she could feel the tension still lingering in his muscles—the same tension that had been building between them for weeks.

“Jamie,” she murmured, not sure what she was going to say until the words slipped out. “This... it’s getting complicated, isn’t it?”

His hand stilled against her hip, but he didn’t pull away. After a moment, he shifted, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Don’t think too much about it, yeah?” he said softly. “It’s just us. No pressure. No... complications.”

But the way his arms tightened around her told a different story.

And neither of them dared to say what they were really thinking.

The bass thrummed through the club, a pulse of music and heat that seemed to vibrate beneath Y/N’s skin. Neon lights flickered across the crowded dance floor, casting flashes of color across moving bodies. Laughter and shouted conversations blended into the music’s heavy beat, but Y/N barely heard any of it. The team was out clubbing and Y/N tagged along with her brother.

Her drink was cold in her hand, condensation dripping down her fingers as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. Across the room, Jamie leaned against the bar, surrounded by a few of his teammates, but his eyes hadn’t left her all night.

Every time she glanced his way, she found him watching her—gaze dark, unreadable, but so heavy she could feel it like a weight against her skin.

It had been weeks since that night at his flat. Weeks of stolen kisses in hidden corners, whispered promises made in the dark—no strings, no emotions—but the lines between what they’d agreed to and what they actually felt were getting harder to ignore.

And tonight, the tension between them felt like a live wire waiting to snap.

“Tu ne bois pas, chéri?” Richard’s voice cut through her thoughts, and Y/N blinked, glancing up at her brother. (You’re not drinking, darling?)

“I am,” she said quickly, lifting her glass to her lips as if to prove it.

Richard frowned slightly but didn’t push. “Come dance,” he urged instead, tipping his head toward the dance floor.

“Maybe in a minute,” she replied, her eyes drifting back toward the bar.

Jamie was still watching her.

Their eyes locked—and for a second, everything else fell away.

The noise of the club faded to a dull hum, and all she could hear was the faint rush of blood in her ears. Jamie’s gaze flicked to the man standing too close beside her—a stranger who’d struck up a conversation while Richard had gone to the dancefloor—and something in his expression shifted.

Something dark.

Possessive.

Y/N’s pulse quickened as Jamie pushed off the bar and started toward them, weaving through the crowd with the kind of focus that made her stomach twist. His jaw was tight, shoulders squared like he was preparing for a fight before anyone had thrown a punch.

She should stop him—should say something before this spiraled out of control—but before she could react, the stranger beside her leaned in closer, voice low against her ear, stroking her arm with his disgusting fingers.

“You here with anyone?” he asked, his hand kept brushing lightly against her arm.

“No—” She stepped back instinctively, but before she could finish, a hand clamped down on the guy’s shoulder.

“She’s with me, you twat.”

Jamie’s voice cut through the noise like a blade, sharp and unmistakable.

The guy blinked, turning slightly to face Jamie. “Mate, I was just—”

“Yeah?” Jamie’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, you’re done now, mate. Move the fuck along, yeah?”

“Jamie—” Y/N stepped forward, but it was already too late.

The stranger frowned, stepping back but not quite fast enough. “Chill out, mate. We were just talking, right pretty girl? No need to—”

The words hadn’t even left his mouth before Jamie’s fist connected with his jaw.

The sound of the punch cracked through the air like a firework, loud even over the music. Gasps echoed through the crowd as the guy stumbled back, clutching his jaw as chaos erupted around them.

“Jamie!” Y/N’s shout barely registered as Richard suddenly lunged forward, grabbing Jamie by the shirt and hauling him back before he could throw another punch.

“Putain de merde, t’es complètement malade ou quoi?!” Richard barked, his French accent thick with anger. (F***ing hell, are you completely insane or what?!)

“Get off me!” Jamie struggled against Richard’s grip, eyes blazing as he glared at the guy now being helped up by his friends.

“Tartt! You wanna throw your career away because of some idiot at the club?!” Richard’s voice rose above the music, furious and unrelenting.

“It ain’t about him!” Jamie snapped, twisting free of Richard’s hold. His chest heaved with ragged breaths, but his eyes—his eyes were locked on Y/N.

As if the whole world had narrowed down to just her.

“Jamie, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Y/N shoved past Richard, stepping between them before anyone else could throw another punch.

“He shouldn’t’ve been touchin’ you!” Jamie shot back, his voice rough with something she couldn’t quite name.

“Oh, so now you care?” she fired, her heart hammering against her ribs. “Since when do you get to decide who talks to me?”

“You think this is just about that?” Jamie’s voice cracked, raw and unfiltered. “You think I’m standin’ here like a bloody idiot ‘cause some guy flirted with you?”

“Then what is it about, Jamie?!”

“You!” His voice was a shout now, sharp enough to cut through the noise and the crowd and every excuse they’d been hiding behind. “It’s about you!”

Silence.

Even with the music thudding in the background, the world seemed to narrow to the space between them.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, but she couldn’t speak—couldn’t move—because Jamie was looking at her like he was standing at the edge of a cliff with nowhere else to go.

“I can’t—” His voice broke, rough with too many emotions to name. “I can’t stand seein’ anyone else touch you. It’s not just physical for me, and it never bloody was.”

Her heart lurched into her throat, but before she could answer, Richard stepped between them, his expression thunderous.

“Jamie, get the hell out of here before I do somethin’ we both regret.”

For a moment, it looked like Jamie might argue. His fists clenched at his sides, chest still heaving from the adrenaline of the punch. But then his gaze flicked to Y/N—eyes searching hers like he needed her to say something, anything—and when she didn’t, his shoulders sagged.

Without another word, he turned and pushed his way through the crowd, disappearing into the night.

Y/N watched him leave, ready to follow after him, but her brother took ahold of her wrist.

"If you go after him, Y/N. Je te le jure, tu le regretteras." Richard threatened her his grip tightening. (I swear, you'll regret it.)

“Jamie, wait!”

Y/N pushed through the crowd outside the club, heels clicking against the wet pavement as she chased after him. Cold night air bit at her skin, her breath fogging in the air as she caught sight of him a few meters ahead—shoulders tense, fists clenched at his sides as if he was still holding back the urge to punch something.

“Jamie!” she shouted again, louder this time.

He stopped.

For a moment, he didn’t turn around—just stood there beneath the flickering glow of a streetlamp, chest rising and falling with ragged breaths. When he finally faced her, his eyes burned with too many emotions to name—anger, frustration, something dangerously close to heartbreak.

“What d’you want, Y/N?” His voice was rough, like the words scraped against his throat on the way out. “Come to tell me what a prick I am? Go on, then. Reckon I deserve it.”

“God, you’re so—” She threw her hands up, words catching somewhere between anger and confusion. “Why do you have to make everything so bloody complicated?”

“I’m makin’ it complicated?” Jamie barked out a humorless laugh. “You’re the one actin’ like this is still just a bit of fun when we both know it ain’t!”

“We agreed—”

“Yeah, we agreed it was just physical,” he cut her off, stepping closer until she could see the faint gleam of sweat on his skin, the rapid pulse in his throat. “But it stopped bein’ just physical for me the second I kissed you that first night. Hell, maybe even before that. And you—” His gaze searched hers like he was trying to find the truth beneath her silence. “You feel it too, don’t you?”

Her breath caught in her chest. “Jamie—”

“Tell me you don’t,” he challenged, voice rough with something close to desperation. “Tell me you don’t feel somethin’ when I touch you. When I look at you. Go on, then. Say it, and I’ll walk away right now. I swear.”

Silence.

The city noise buzzed faintly in the background—distant laughter, the hum of cars passing by—but all Y/N could hear was the hammering of her own heart.

“I—” Her throat closed around the words she wanted to say.

Jamie’s gaze softened—not with pity, but with something raw and unguarded. “I can’t stand seein’ anyone else touch you like that,” he murmured, his voice breaking at the edges. “It’s not just physical for me, and it never bloody was. I’ve been fallin’ for you since the day we met, and I’ve been too much of a coward to admit it ‘cause... ‘cause I didn’t think I was good enough for you. Still don’t.”

Her chest ached at the vulnerability in his voice, so different from the cocky footballer the rest of the world saw.

“Jamie…” She stepped closer, her fingers curling into the fabric of his jacket as if grounding herself. “I tried so hard not to feel anything. I thought if we kept it simple—if we didn’t get attached—it wouldn’t hurt when it ended.”

“And does it?” he asked softly, searching her eyes. “Does it hurt?”

She swallowed hard, her heart thudding painfully against her ribs. “Yeah. It does.”

Jamie’s breath hitched, and for a second, neither of them moved. Then his hand came up to cradle her cheek, rough fingers brushing her skin with a tenderness that made her chest ache.

“Then don’t let it end,” he whispered.

The last thread of resistance inside her snapped.

She surged forward, crashing her lips against his in a kiss that was messy and desperate and so full of everything they hadn’t said. Jamie’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her against him like he never wanted to let go. His fingers tangled in her hair, tilting her head back as he kissed her harder, deeper, like he needed to prove that this—them—wasn’t something either of them could walk away from.

When they finally broke apart, their breaths mingled in the cold night air, but neither stepped back.

“Fuck—I think— I think I love you, Y/N,” Jamie murmured against her lips. “Reckon I’ve loved you for a while now.”

Her chest swelled with something too big to contain. “I love you too, Jamie.”

His breath caught audibly—like he hadn’t let himself hope for those words until now—and then he was kissing her again, softer this time, but no less intense.

And this time, it wasn’t about stolen moments or secret touches.

This time, it was real.

The roar of the crowd echoed through Nelson Road as AFC Richmond took the pitch. Y/N sat on the benches beside Richard, who wasn't playing today. Her heart thudded in time with the chanting fans as she scanned the field for Jamie’s familiar figure.

“There he is,” Richard muttered beside her, but this time, there was no anger in his voice—just the begrudging acceptance of an older brother who’d finally come to terms with the inevitable. “If he hurts you, je lui casse les jambes.” (I’ll break his legs.)

Y/N laughed despite herself. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Below, Jamie glanced toward the bench—and when his gaze found hers, a slow smile spread across his face. Subtle enough that most wouldn’t notice, but Y/N saw it. Felt it.

And when he winked—quick and cheeky before turning back to the match—her heart did that stupid, traitorous flip that she no longer had any reason to fight.

Because this time, she wasn’t running from what she felt.

This time, she was running toward it.

[valentine-cafe]

Hello! This is my first time requesting from your acc but I've been reading your works for a while now and I just gotta say, keep up the good work!

For my order, I want Rishima!781 with a transmasc reader who keeps sending her videos of him playing with himself, teasing (and begging her) to come home and come take care of him (all while she's at work) ♡♡♡

˖⁺. “ wait to play ! ” :

﹙ top fem scientist x bttm transmasc reader﹚.𖹭 ݁

. . . verse 781 rishima x transmasc reader!! 🍒 :﹙scientist ˖ professor character﹚

explain

﹙ cws﹚: explicit content˖ masturbation ˖ teasing ˖ nipple play ˖ penetrative sex ˖ riding˖ brat taming | wc : 1.7k

﹙ receipts ﹚: gid rishima and brat taming is sooooo

꒰ other treats : guidelines ˖ m.list ˖ characters ˖ our lore  ꒱

Soft machinery ambience of a busy one-man laboratory thrums comfortably into the ears of the scientist typing away at her keyboard, working attentively.

Beautiful magenta eyes stay in focus on the numbers and words appearing on the monitor each time she writes something new and changes up an old code.

The tunnelvision on the computer leaves her in a trance as usual. Working, something she truly is married to. Without it, she feels restless and uneasy. Aside from when she’s got you or her husband with her.

Even so, work goes on. A thing that makes you want to test her limits at times. A fun little game you’ve found yourself enjoying quite a lot. A tease, or perhaps two. You love the way her eyes twitch just slightly when it gets to her.

Message upon message you send her. Teases, videos, voicenotes, each time you end up with the messy fucking from both sides. You do it on purpose and she hates it. As much as she also loves it.

It would be lying if she said she didn’t need any sort of stress relief such as. But she does.

Beep.

Unfocusing her eyes immediately her body moves out of the chair. Like a reflex almost. After all these years of work in laboratories, her ears grow sharp and so do her reactions.

The small vials of blood she had put through assessment are immediately labelled with the aetheer’s names that she tested on. One of them being her son.

It’s time to change up his stabiliser. The old ones do not work on him anymore. This poor boy. He can’t seem to catch a break, can he?

Ah, no matter. He loves being who he is, it benefits his work. Which he is just as hooked on as his mother.

Putting away the blood tests into their respective corner, she makes her way back to her desk. Seating herself in the workchair she has had with her for she doesn’t know how long. But as long as it still feels good to sit in and her back doesn’t feel like it’ll break. It’s fine.

Soft fingertips ready themselves to type away at the keyboard once more, but end up being distracted as her phone plings with a notification. Her right hand immediately shooting over to see whether or not it was a message from an aetheer group— but it wasn’t.

It was from you.

She sighs, brows raised in question when she sees it is an attatched file message that was sent.

Might as well check quickly.

Absentmindedly, her left hand continues to type away at the desktop keyboard. Knowing numbers and equations in her head so well now she doesn’t need to look to make sure she gets it right. The muscle memory in her fingers is insane.

You know it very well.

A memory that will always stick to your mind was after you had healed up from bottom surgery- the feel of her hand pumping away so skillfully left your head spinning, you had squirted your cum all over her hand and she cleaned it up happily after.

Rishima opened up the messages and saw a dark screen, and so she squints her eyes. Wondering whether this was an accidental video or not.

But then she saw the timespan of it. Almost 3 minutes? Maybe it was a voice message.

The second her thumb tapped at it, you loaded in on the screen, your thumb teasing at your tip, while whining for her.

Quickly she ceased typing on the keyboard of the desktop, and just sat and watched, thrown off guard by the sudden images. Well, as thrown off guard as she could be. She show’s it to very little amounts. Her hand shakes a little, while her throat goes dry.

“Rishi baby. . . fuc-k, come home. Always working so ha-ngh, hard” You whimper pathetically, though she can hear the grin in your voice.

Without knowing, her teeth find her plush bottom lip and sink into it. You splutter your small begs and moans, and just as you are about to start pumping at your shaft, you move the camera to your beautiful face. Your handsomly, irritatingly gorgeous face. With eyes rolling back, while you laugh.

You know exactly what you’re doing.

She typed that as well in the chat as she finished the video, face red, as she put the phone away and she started working once more.

. . .

Well, for very little time, as another pling sounds from her phone.

A text, from you.

I’m not doing anythiiing, Rishima. Come home I miss you :((

A pair of lungs stutter with a hitch, while he thumbs move swiftly across the screen of the phone to respond to your message. Though she only gets halfway through

Behave yourself you know i’m at wor |

Be |

The message is immediately deleted as a picture pops onto the chat, she can see everything. From your chest and down. Those pretty top surgery scars, she adores tracing and pressing soft kisses to when the both of you go to bed together on rare occasions.

She denies the way you make her pussy flutter the second she sees how you’re squeezing at yourself, straddling one of the pillows while jerking off.

With quick clearing of her throat, she puts the phone away to continue working.

Oh but, Rishima, what worth is it to keep going when you await another message?

Ping, another message— another video.

Why bother watching it. She asks herself, rising from her chair, running a hand through her hair and clapping to turn off the laboratory’s functions. Except for those who need to run overnight scans and assesments.

If anything she’ll phone Javier and ask him to watch over the place while she’s gone.

Stop sending, and get ready. Doll.

The response came quicker than you’d thought it would. But with excitement sparkling in your eyes, you start pumping away at your erection. Letting out a small moan and breathless call for her name.

You feel her hand take over quickly the second she’s stepped out of the portal from the order. The ethereal light from it enhancing her beauty. Gods Why does she have to be so fucking pretty?

“F-Fuck, took you long enough.” You tease. Only for the grin that you wore previously fall into a large gape of your mouth. Your arousal drooling onto her hands.

“Shut up.” She groans, peppering kisses down your neck and to your pelvis. Her hands tugging at the panties she was wearing and slipping them off. While you take no time to get any of her clothes off. The shirt thrown to the side, with the bra scattered to a corner of the room.

Her skirt when last, your hands gripping eagerly at her hipdips. Enjoying the feel of the warm squish and tummy rolls below your palms when you move them up and down her sides. Breast in your mouth to suck at her nipple.

“Mngh— easy.” She whines.

So sensitive. It makes you chuckle in satisfaction, while your fingers move to rub at her clit. Left hand guiding her wetting cunt down against the hard cock, rubbing it inbetween her folds to collect the slick. The beautiful drawled out moans echoing out in the room shoots excitement through your tummy.

The bed puffs softly when Rishima lands in the soft pillows and mattress. Black hair sprawled out and her eyes tired but aroused.

You run your hands back to her hips again, squeezing at then gently. She’s needed some help with easing up. So you are here to help her.

Slowly, you begin pushing in. Still getting used to the feeling of being able to- and feeling it. The way her velvet walls clamp down on you sends your head backwards, a groan vibrating out of you while you smile, already delirious at the feeling of her wet cunt welcoming you in happily like the whore she is.

“Missed me huh?”

“M- mm— you’re infuriating.” She responds, gasping at the small thrusts and strokes that you begin with. The pace building as you both ease into the feel. Her arms slung around your shoulders. Red stained lips worshipping your jaw and cheeks.

“Fuck. Rishima.” You quitely groaned against her ear. Your hips jutting against her, stuttering as you felt her walls clamp down on your throbbing cock for dear life. As if they’re begging you not to go.

Whines begin cascading down on the pillowcases. As the woman below you begins moving her hips in tandem with yours. It feels so perfect and you—

Suddenly you’re flipped over. The warm cunt your dick settled in momentarily off of it. And you’re about to complain, until you feel the warmth of it come back down. And you throw your head back into the pillows with a crosseyed smile.

“Yeah, p-please— please faster”

Oh your adorable begging. She can’t deny you the pleasure of going a bit faster now, can she? Her own chest begins convulsing slightly from the stuttered breaths and moans. Hands supporting her on your chest. While her breasts bounce and jiggle with the rhythm of your position every time her cunt lands down to the base of your weeping dick.

Her hand moves to grip your jaw, making you look at the sight of your bodies joined together. The sight of your dick inside of her, the sounds of skin against skin — The mixing juices. gods, it’s all too much. You feel a rush clash through you. Orgasm rolling it’s toll and taking the whole run around the room to make moans bounce on and off the walls.

You hear her join in, the feel of her cum squirting with yours, and her body collapsing onto yours makes you instinctively wrap your arms around her waist and fuck into her desperately, with nothing but sloppy and messy thrusts and plunges to pull both orgasms out of you to their end.

﹙ taglist.﹚: | get tagged for specific posts

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[idrellegames]

Hello all,

This is a general announcement post to cover a few changes, as well as a public build patch.

This patch addresses some lingering issues and bugs in Episodes 1 & 2. This is not a content update.

✦ Playthrough Restarts

Because of changes and fixes, if your save file is from June 24, 2023 or earlier, you should load a save file from the beginning of the Lethalis meeting in Episode 2 or restart from the beginning of the game. If you do not, you may encounter continuity, UI issues, or other errors. None of these are game-breaking. 

If you keep Wayfarer running in a tab, please either refresh your browser or close the tab and open the game in a new one. This is the only way to ensure the patch takes effect.

Full patch notes can be read here.

✦ A Statement on AI

NO AI TRAINING. Using Wayfarer, its images, or any of its written work to train generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies to generate text is expressly prohibited. Creating chatbots based on the game’s text is not allowed. 

✦ A Statement on the Alpha Build

Wayfarer’s public build is free to play. It will not be updated until the alpha build’s Episode 4 is complete. Half of Episode 3 is available to play on my Patreon (available for the Recruit tier and above). Currently, the alpha build is a couple months behind the planned trajectory announced in the 2024 roadmap. Progress will be reassessed in July and updates made. 

The last alpha build update was on May 28, 2024. 

✦ Updates to the Game’s Structure

Since 2021 Wayfarer has been conceptualized as 3 acts and 15 episodes. While that story structure is still at its roots, it’s very apparent now that this is far too much story to be contained to a single game. So, I am breaking it into a trilogy.   

I have had this idea for a while, but I have held off on doing anything about it because of technical issues. Because of the way the story builds on itself, I need to ensure that continuity (including details like the player character’s inventory and locations they have visited) is preserved across all three game. However, even with some technical things to still test and figure out, I am at a point where I would like to move forward with the new structuring.  

WAYFARER 1

Prologue

Act 1: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3

Act 2: Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6,

Act 3: Episode 7

Epilogue

WAYFARER 2

Prologue

Act 1: Episode 8, Episode 9

Act 2: Episode 10

Act 3: Episode 11

Epilogue

WAYFARER 3

Prologue

Act 1: Episode 12

Act 2: Episode 13, Episode 14

Act 3: Episode 15

Epilogue

The structure is still very much the same as it was prior (what is now a single “game” in the new structure was an “act” in the old one). The change has been updated and reflected in the Story Log, which now only goes up to Episode 7. 

With this change, I will be looking into getting new cover art that is more specific to the first game’s events. All titles are TBA. 

If you’ve enjoyed Wayfarer and would like to support my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Patrons receive access to the alpha build, a private Discord server, exclusive previews, bonus content, side stories, and other benefits.

Wayfarer is a passion project and creating it is a full-time commitment. Any little bit goes a long way to help me bring it to fruition.

If you aren’t in a position to support financially, reblogs, shares, ratings and comments, and spreading the word about the game are much appreciated and do a lot to help me out! 💕

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Fighting junk fees is "woke"

“Populism” isn’t intrinsically left or right. The distinction between the two is often obscured by jargon, but there’s a simple litmus test (courtesy of Steven Brust): “ask what’s more important: human rights, or property rights. If they say ‘property rights are human rights,’ they’re on the right.”

Which is to say, both the left and the right can be populist, but the populist left seeks to improve peoples’ lives, no matter what that takes, while the populist right is only willing to make the world better when that doesn’t interfere with the interests of property owners.

This is how you get the Libertarian Party of New Hampshire equating publicly produced, free insulin with forcing enslaved Black people to pick cotton in the fields:

https://newrepublic.com/post/174485/libertarian-party-suggests-former-black-lawmaker-pick-crops-free

For right populists, the property rights of pharma giants are human rights, so anything that interferes with those rights is equivalent to any other human rights violation.

This is not only wrong, but it’s also a huge vulnerability in the right populist mindset. It’s a button that, when pushed, produces a reliable and reflexive outrage.

This is essential for the creation, maintenance and expansion of plutocracy. In a plutocracy, a small minority owns most of the property (we live in a plutocracy). By definition, plutocracy isn’t popular, since it’s a system that benefits a small minority at everyone else’s expense. In its natural state, plutocracy is only popular with its winners, and not the vast majority of losers it creates.

So plutocrats need to find ways to get turkeys to vote for Christmas. One important trick is to convince us all that the system is fair, guided by an invisible hand that performs mystic passes over our heads at birth and locates the very best of us and elevates us to the apex of the social pyramid.

But there’s a problem with this: plutocracy is self-sustaining. The story that we’re all just “temporarily embarrassed millionaires” who can rise to the top with hard work and smarts falls flat in the face of the reality that nearly everyone at the top was born there. If the system selects rulers based on merit, and if everyone the system selects was born rich, then the rich must have some genetic trait that makes them destined to rule.

This is why plutocracy always turns into aristocracy: the idea that some people are suited to rule because they have “good blood.” Eugenics is, above all, a way to excuse inequality. Fitness to rule is determined primarily by whose orifice you emerge from, and only secondarily by any obvious competence or skill.

So right wing footsoldiers are mired in a terrible and shameful swamp of self-loathing. By definition, their lack of wealth and power is their own fault, and not merely their fault, but the fault of their genes. Being on the bottom is proof that you deserve to be there. Your failure to rise proves that you don’t deserve to rise.

No wonder the right is so irony-poisoned. Remember 2020, when gun-nuts got “revenge” on gun safety scolds by photographing themselves pointing loaded guns at their own penises? The participants insisted that they were just trolling, and they were…by pointing loaded guns at their dicks:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/28/holographic-nano-layer-catalyser/#musketfuckers

Plutocrats understand that there are limits to irony, and that at a certain point, irony poisoning becomes so acute that your rank-and-file literally start blowing their balls off. To relieve the pressure, plutes scapegoat other people based on their gender, sexual orientation, race, or nationality.

This provides an important resolution to the cognitive dissonance of meritocracy. The reason you’re doing so badly isn’t that you lack merit, it’s that affirmative action has elevated unworthy people to the positions that you deserve. You are a temporarily embarrassed millionaire — but the riches you deserve have been snaffled up by welfare queens and DEI consultants.

Cruelty isn’t the point of culture war bullshit: the point is power. Cruelty is merely the tactic:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/09/turkeys-voting-for-christmas/#culture-wars

Culture war bullshit is a very reliable way to get turkeys to vote for Christmas. Take the campaign against junk fees, which have ticketmastered every part of your life with “fees” for things like “paying your rent by check” and “not paying your rent by check”:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/30/military-industrial-park-service/#booz-allen

There is no broad constituency for junk fees. Scam artists (including scam artists in the C-suites of Fortune 100 companies) love them, sure, but junk fees make everyone else furious.

What’s a plutocrat to do? Well, it turns out that culture war bullshit can make right wingers point (metaphorical) guns at their own junk — all plutocrats need to do is put the word out that getting rid of junk fees is “woke” and low-information right-wing thumbsuckers will demand the right to be charged junk fees.

Here’s an example: one especially pernicious form of junk fee is the “swipe fees” that credit-card companies charge merchants. In an increasingly cashless age, these companies — dominated by the Visa/Mastercard duopoly — have figured out how to scrape 3–5% out of every single retail transaction in the entire fucking economy.

Every merchant you patronize has to charge more — or reduce quality, or both — in order to pay this Danegeld to two of the largest, most profitable companies in the world. Visa/Mastercard have hiked their fees by 40 percent since the pandemic’s start. Forty. Fucking. Percent. Tell me again how greedflation isn’t real?

A bipartisan legislative coalition, led by Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) and Senator Roger Marshall (R-KS) have proposed the Credit Card Competition Act (CCCA), which will force competition into credit-card routing, putting pressure on the Visa/Mastercard duopoly:

https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/1838/text?s=1&r=3

This should be a no-brainer, but plute spin-doctors have plenty of no-brains to fill up with culture war bullshit. Writing in The American Prospect, Luke Goldstein unpacks an astroturf campaign to save the endangered swipe fee from woke competition advocates:

https://prospect.org/power/2023-08-04-wall-street-culture-war-swipe-fee-reform/

Now, this campaign isn’t particularly sophisticated. It goes like this: Target is a big business that runs a lot of transactions through Visa/Mastercard, so it stands to benefit from competition in payment routing. And Target did a mean woke by selling Pride merch, which makes them groomers. So by fighting swipe fees, Congress is giving woke groomers a government bailout!

It’s literally that stupid. It’s being pushed by a dark money group based in Kansas, which is targeting Senator Marshall’s constituents with mailers that warns voters they’ll “lose their credit card points” because he’s thrown his lot in with “liberal politicians”:

https://punchbowl.news/caf-marshall-mailer-kansas/

The fliers also warn that competition could result in “your financial data could be processed by partners of the Chinese Communist Party” (the bill bans foreign companies from routing transactions, and bans China UnionPay by name).

The fliers are anonymous. The only ghoul shameless enough to put his name on the campaign is Grover Norquist, whose Americans for Tax Reform tells its Christmas-voting-turkeys to “side with consumers, not woke retailers.”

The dark money org pushing this line have placed op-eds in newspapers across red states, comparing transaction routing competition to your kids’ data being snaffled up by Tiktok:

https://www.theflstandard.com/senators-rubio-and-scott-must-protect-the-personal-financial-data-of-floridians/

This nonsense was peddled by League of Southeastern Credit Unions president Samantha Beeler, whose org has spent $20,000 fighting the CCCA, claiming that a “cheaper” system would be “less secure”:

https://disclosurespreview.house.gov/ld/ldxmlrelease/2023/Q2/301493985.xml

But that’s small potatoes. Millions are being spent, right now, lobbying against CCCA — $5m from the American Bankers’ Association, $2m from the Credit Union National Association, another $400k from Mastercard.

For these rentiers, corrupting our government with millions is a stellar bargain if it lets them continue to collect rent every time we spend money. And millions of people who’ll end up paying that will demand the right to do so, provided they’re told that they’re fighting “woke capitalism” and China.

I'm kickstarting the audiobook for "The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation," a Big Tech disassembly manual to disenshittify the web and bring back the old, good internet. It's a DRM-free book, which means Audible won't carry it, so this crowdfunder is essential. Back now to get the audio, Verso hardcover and ebook:

http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/04/owning-the-libs/#swiper-no-swiping

[Image ID: A mechanical credit card imprinter (AKA 'zipzap') emblazoned with a US flag Punisher logo. It is imprinting a blank credit-card slip with a red Visa card bearing the GOP logo. It sits on a weathered wooden plank table, stained a dark brown.]