#better to say things in the beginning rather than suffering later

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

it's really good jun-ho told her none of her date ideas were fun for him and didn't keep it in even though he might have but only mentioned it when she said they aren't dating yet bc otherwise woo young-woo never would have guessed i think it's good for both of them

[ittsybittsybunny]

ATLA Live Action Series Review:

The Good

Aesthetically this show felt right. Sure sometimes the outfits didn't quite feel lived in, but I always felt like I was watching a fantasy world with decent effects and interesting design. Also, I really enjoyed the sets!

Bending: Yes some of the fights feel very quick, but the bending looks cool. It is certainly better than 10 benders lifting one big rock. I can honestly say the opening bending fight scene gave me so much hope for this show.

Kyoshi Warriors: I loved seeing them in live action, and I thought Suki's performance was great!

Omashu: I think the mashup of the mechanist made sense since that is an important character overall and I would hate to see him cut. However, both Jet & the secret tunnels felt sloppily thrown in.

Northern Water Tribe: I really loved the way it looked, and appreciated the two episodes we spent here. I think Yue gained more agency in this interpretation, and why shouldn't the moon spirit be a waterbender. Also, episode seven felt the most in tune with the original show's spirit.

Zuko: I think he was one of the most fleshed-out and best parts of the show! Dallas Liu really captured Zuko's spirit, and the scene between him and Aang in episode 6 was wonderful!

Soundtrack: Hearing the original soundtrack bits is always great, and when I first heard the ending music I was so excited.

Is the show perfect, no - but I wouldn't mind a season 2.

The Bad

Pacing: Turning 20 episodes into 8 was bound to lead to some cuts...but oftentimes times things felt too quick or disjointed. I think there were editing problems contributing to this for sure, but sometimes things skipped around too much without a clear purpose as to why. Also, why bring in plots from later seasons when you barely have enough time already?

Writing: This show definitely suffered from exposition dumping, though it did get better as time went on. I think the biggest example of this is actually opening in the past rather than the present. We do not get to learn along with Aang that the world has changed, instead, we get to learn that 100 years have passed....which doesn't hold the same tension or worldbuilding.

Clunky Dialogue: Along with exposition, clunky dialogue is another example of bad writing. I think sometimes I felt like the acting was kind of meh in the beginning, but then over time I began to realize it had far more to do with the lines characters were trying to deliver. The actors themselves are not bad, just cursed with awkward writing and lines that feel out of touch with the setting they're in.

Main Trio: I don't entirely know that I believe Katara, Sokka, and Aang are friends as opposed to 3 people stuck together to save the world. Aang feels a little too somber for a young kid running away from his responsibilities, Sokka is protective, but not exactly the heart of the team, and Katara is sort of just there until the last two episodes. Where is her struggle, her desire to learn so strong she steals from pirates? Also, while Gordon Cormier did a great job, Aang does zero waterbending on his own, is overly serious, and tells Katara not to fight. Where is his desperation to protect his friends? It feels like they all lost emotional depth.

Tension: Bringing Ozai, Azula, and Zhao out in the beginning immediately causes us to lose the realization there is an even bigger bad. Part of why Ozai is so terrifying is he is a primarily silent villain until the third season when we finally see the face of the "big bad evil guy" behind it all. Yes, they add to Zuko's backstory, but again, they are revealing the villains too early. Azula is the antagonist of season 2 and one of my favorite characters, so I hope they do more with her in the future. Finally, Zhao is supposed to be an example of the uncontrollable nature of fire unrestrained, instead, he comes off as vaguely threatening with the supposed true power being Azula.

Characterization: While all characters are bound to lose something in a shorter show, it still felt like certain characters were more mutilated than others. I am sure there are 100 different opinions on who, but I think the biggest victim was Katara.

Katara: Katara manages to go from a complete novice to a bending master in what feels like a matter of days. The journey feels short, and that makes the results feel largely unearned. Katara is one of the strongest personalities in the show, determined, kind, and fiery. In many ways, she is the unpredictability of water - equally dangerous as it is necessary to live. She is the child of a war who lost her mother, forced to grow up too soon, and even raised her older brother. Yes, Katara often gets stereotyped as the mom friend, but overall she feels underutilized in this show. We really don't see enough of her journey until the very end.

Iroh: Iroh was always comedic but most importantly wise. Even when Zuko is trying to give himself advice, he mimics Iroh. Instead, he seems to be used more as comedic relief without the underlying experience. He just doesn't feel right. Also, he kills Zhao instead of Zhao getting himself killed - which is less about Iroh and more about the writing than anything.

Ozai is weirdly a little too nice. Yes, he burned Zuko and pits his kids against each other, but he feels toned down in a show claiming to be more mature than the original cartoon.

Azula is perhaps more realistically worried about losing her status as the golden child, but she is also missing the cruelty she and her father share. I understand worrying about making your character cartoonishly evil, but the Fire Nation is currently a deeply nationalistic empire trying to control the world. Where is the deep-seated belief that they are better than other people, not just trying to bring balance to the world? There is a line between creating complexity and toning down the very real evil inherent in this plan.

Roku: I can only say what the fuck was that. He was barely there, and not the serious master to Aang's youthful exuberance.

The Ugly

Show, Don't Tell: The show's single biggest issue seems to be speeding through story parts by simply stating things. Instead of allowing the audience to discover, trusting that we are smart enough to understand, let's just blatantly say things like Zuko is the only reason the 41st division is alive to their faces. Even though in the context of the story Ozai literally already said that.... it's the division, the division for Zuko, Zuko's division.

Thematic Misunderstandings: I think this show makes several minor changes with major implications, such as airbenders actively fighting the firebenders, when airbenders are known for their pacifist nature and the lie of an Airbender fighting force is actively propaganda. Similarly, Aang very quickly accepts his role as the avatar and doesn't even run away in the beginning. Without this conflict between his desire to be a carefree child and the fact that the world needs him - the show loses a key aspect of Aang's character. Also, the obsession with downplaying the avatar state as something dangerous feels like a disservice to the tradition, connection, and strength of the avatar, which can be permanently destroyed as the trade-off for that kind of power. It's dangerous for the balance of the entire world, not just because it's powerful!

The Agni Kai: Zuko's fight against his father is one of the defining moments of Ozai's cruelty, not just because he is willing to fight his child, but because Zuko tried to do everything right. Zuko shows deference to his father, apologizes, and most importantly refuses to fight! The determination not to upset his father and still be grievously injured and banished is a hugely important theme for the fire nation and Zuko's life as a whole. He tries to do everything he is supposed to and only regains his father's acceptance after he "kills" Aang. Zuko's struggle between moral vs. social right and wrong in contrast to his family is hugely important to his character.

-----

TLDR: ATLA was a fantastical animated television show that was never afraid to show character development and flaws. When you turn 20 episodes into 8, you are bound to lose something. You hollowed out the middle, leaving the shell of important moments and events without ever wondering if all the times in between formed the true spirit of the show.

Rating: 6.5/10 It's perfectly fine and worth a watch. Not a disaster, but certainly falls flat of the original.

[ellievickstar]

Galentines, Valentines, Now he's mine <3

A/N: Am I supposed to be doing work? Yes. Am I doing said work? No. Due tomorrow, Do tomorrow. Don't do what I'm doing if you have work due go do it before it piles up and overwhelms you.

Summary: In which your girlfriends plan how they will finally get you and Azriel to confess to each other after weeks of getting they're ears talked off by the both of you pining over each other and agonizing over asking the other out for valentine's day. And what better day to do it than on the day itself?

Request: Nope.

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: This might make you feel even more single to begin with.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

"No," You said flatly, shaking your head to emphasise the word you had just uttered.

The three women around you seemed to visibly deflate like balloons over your words. All whom had been trying desperately to convince you to confess to your crush of...two hundred years. One would think you would have gotten over him by now, but apparently not, you were still knee deep into the crush that had started your endless pining and gushing over the shadow singer since you had first joined the court through Morrigan when she rescued you from your family.

She had seen value in your ability to manipulate the stars just like how her cousin manipulated night. While swirls of shadows surrounded him, the stars sang to you and told you the dreams of those around you, their worst and best deeds, their greatest successes and their worst fears.

And when the stars sang, you listened.

"And what do the stars tell you about valentine's day?" Mor prompted you gently. Sighing, you reminded her of the limitations of your powers, "You know that I choose not to listen to my own future, it makes me live in anxiety about the next thing that is going to happen, sometimes knowing everything is not great. I'd rather live in the mystery than the anxiety of knowing."

Nodding, she glanced at Nesta and Feyre, the two females shrugging. They were at a lost for words, they could not say anything to tell you about Azriel's feelings without sacrificing the privacy of the shadow singer. Truth to be told they only knew about it because Rhysand never kept anything from Feyre, while Cassian of course could not hold back his excitement that his friend finally liked a female that was not completely unavailable and babbled to Nesta. However, telling your mate is one thing, completely exposing the shadow singer's secret to the one person he definitely wanted to keep the secret from was another.

Before you had arrived for the weekly tea party that you all hosted, excluding Elain who often preferred to stay in with her mate and be updated on any tea later by watching for herself instead of actively being involved, you all welcomed her even if she was not a common sight at these get togethers. "Perhaps, you should consider that maybe being rejected by Azriel will finally allow you to move on, you have been pining for two centuries, maybe it's about time?" Feyre tried.

Shaking your head once more, you leaned your head back and closed your eyes, groaning at the prospect of ruining the close friendship you had forged with the shadow singer by confessing to him on valentine's day of all days. Maybe you were overthinking it, but you would rather live in your crush and suffer than ruin the good and close friendship you had.

The idea of finally getting together with the shadow singer baffled you but it was a dream come true. Truth to be told, you had had dreams about it before, and even begun to crave the comfort Azriel provided you in your darkest moments in the roughest nights. In times you wondered whether you should cut to the chase but you were scared of the repercussions.

"Come on, girl, you have to bite the bullet, be brave. You have to be confident enough to get rejected. And eventually you'll move and you can be friends with Azriel after he rejects you. Agonizing over this for so long is not worth it," Nesta reasoned. Considering her words, you sighed, "Fine." The females around you brightened. "But, I will only do it through a letter, and he has to confess to me also if he actually accepts. If he rejects it promise me you'll take me to the cabin to mope." They all eagerly nodded, and just like that, they began to set their plan in motion.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Dearest Dear Azriel,

I am writing this letter. Hi. How are you? Today is valentine's day and you must be wondering why you are receiving this letter from me. I confess that I was coerced into doing this by Nesta, Feyre and Morrigan, but do not doubt that my words are not sincere. I love like you. I have liked you for a while and will continue to do so even if you reject my feelings until the day I can find the strength in me to truly move on. For two centuries I have found myself drawn to your quiet demeanor and I have found myself craving the quiet nights we spend together when we seek the other's comfort. I do hope that you will accept my feelings, but if you feel as though you cannot reciprocate, do not worry, I will do my best to move on from this and we can continue to remain just friends.

Yours Sincerely,

Y/N

Finishing off with your name, you looked down at the letter that you wrote, going over it two more times before finally folding it. Just as the letter disappeared from your hands, probably reappearing in front of the shadow singer, another letter appeared in front of you that you recognised the paper was only one Azriel used, the scent of paper and ink still clung to it along with the musky scent of steel and the night sky that could only be described as Azriel.

Opening thee letter gently, you read.

My lovely star,

I should have written this so much sooner, but it was my brothers who finally gave me the courage to speak out the feelings I feared. I adore you. Every inch of you I crave, in every night you seek my comfort I want nothing more than to take your pain and make it mine. Every time I see you smile I curse under my breath when the reason for your smile is not me. I find joy in your laughter, it's melody often playing on repeat at the back of my mind. Even when I'm away I feel close to you because I spend every waking moment wondering what you and doing and every dream seems to chase away the nightmares when I dream of you. If you will allow me, I wish to be your forever. I love you with all my heart and my soul.

Yours, now and forever,

Azriel A.K.A Asshole, Brute, Bat, Illyrian prick

(P.S. I think my shadows like you more than me, because everytime you're near they seem to stray away from me to lay at your feet. You are breath taking, my star)

Holding in your breath, you felt as if you were dreaming, and as Azriel's scent seemed to suddenly flood your senses, you turned to the doors just as a knock came, slowly approaching it, behind was Azriel holding the letter you wrote, his grin wide and his eyes bright.

"Do you mean it, Sweetheart?" He asked, "Will you be mind?" Even as you nodded his eyes held a silent command to hear your voice, to hear the words he had craved for for so long. "I want to be your Azriel, I want you to be mine, I have loved you for so long," And as he swept you off your feet, the door closing behind the both of you as his lips crashed into yours, he pulled apart to only say, "I've been yours for longer than you could ever imagine, little star, even when I have faded from this world, even when we join our ancestors in the sky, even when we become the stars that sing, I will always be yours."

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

"Guess I'll have to cancel galentines," You whispered softly to Azriel, peaking at his face that stretched into a soft grin, his arms snaking around your waist even as you lay quite literally on top of him, your elbows leaning onto his chest.

"Didn't the rest of the inner circle always have their own Valentine's while you went shopping, me tailing behind you?" You laughed, replying, "Well I did like this one male, he was super sweet and was always there for me but I never dared ask him to be my Valentine," His eye brows quirked at your words, his smile becoming wider as he asked, "And what happened to the male?" you considered for a moment before grinning mischievously.

"Well, now he's mine."

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

A/N: No way, she wrote something with no angst for once??? A full fic that didn't have angst???? crazy. She must have been brain washed or something, that's insane. Don't worry my loves, angst is coming I just wanted to be nice for once during valentines <33 For all us single girls let's have a happy galentine's day and enjoy our girl dinners, AKA whichever fictional man/men we decide to simp for. Happy Valentine's day, see you all next time. MWAH.

Taglist: Please tell me if you want to be tagged in future Azriel's fics!!

[demaparbat-hp]

Even if zuko has a plan to end the war, making katara work amongst people who likely hold racism towards her and aided and supported the genocide of her people is still weird, especially since zuko benefits from the fire nations oppression of people throughout s1 when hunting the Avatar. Not good choices to make in a zutara au :/

Believe me, I've made these arguments against myself over and over again.

I know I'm putting Katara in an extremely difficult and unjust position in this AU with—from an outsider's point of view—little to no reason other than "I just wanted to see her in Fire Nation armor and kicking ass" and no consideration for the context. I'm not trying to somehow forgive nor redeem the Fire Nation's actions in war just because...well...just because. Not at all. People who've read Soundless (or any other of my wips, really) know that's not the case. On the contrary—I always do my best to see the war through a realistic, mature lense. And that includes everything that makes the Fire Nation so terrible in the first place.

That being said, there are some things I considered when deciding to make Katara side with them (even if her true motives lie elsewhere) in this AU. And they are not excuses. Just, different layers of context.

First of all, she was desperate. By this point in her life, her mother was dead, her father had left to fight the war, her brother followed behind a few years after, and she was left filling the empty spaces when, by all means, she wasn't ready for the responsibility. She had been feeling helpless and hopeless for years, and ached to do anything to help her people beyond doing chores and taking care for the children.

Let it be known that Aang's apparent betrayal comes from a place of trauma and misplaced anger on Katara's part. Much like how she put the Fire Nation's sins on Zuko's shoulders in S3. She is not on the right here, but this is her natural way to process and understand grief. There are many different aspects of her development as a child involved in how she views the Avatar—and, by extension, Aang—but more on this later.

Katara was young, and reckless, and she had just been "betrayed" by the first person who ever looked at her and saw more than the perfect caretaker she was forced to be. She was not in the right state of mind to make a decision like that and, to be honest, she couldn't have predicted the consequences. She saw a clear path to contribute to the end of the war, and by La she would take it.

On Zuko's end, you might argue that he should have known better than to let her join him and, well, you would be right. But there were many things about Katara's trauma response and state of mind that—unless he had known her for a long time—he couldn't have known. He will definitely blame himself later on, when the racism and cruelty towards Katara begins, and especially when word reaches her family at sea.

It's Katara's job to smack some sense into him from time to time and tell him that, yes, he should have tried harder to stop her (and she would probably be better off because of it) but what's done is done. And, by all means, the decision was hers to make. If anything, it's their fault, not his alone.

Now, Katara doesn't suffer the entire AU. That would just be cruel.

Zuko's crew was handpicked by Uncle Iroh, so you can expect dissidents, traitors and a few White Lotus agents who were smart enough to keep their true opinions quiet. There are...mixed opinions in that bunch, of course, but that's expected and, to be honest, rather easily dealt with. They are mostly honourable people just doing their best to end the war from the inside.

The real problem comes when they cross paths with, say, Zhao's fleet (or Hakoda's, let's be real).

And you may ask why Zuko is hunting down Aang, then, if he's secretly a goody-two-shoes himself... I'll explain that later in depth, so stay tuned.

In short, I know the decisions I've made, as a creator, are debatable at best, and downright blasfemous at worst. But they're deliberate.

I want the readers to feel conflicted about Katara's choices in this AU. I want people to have mixed opinions about the war, the (apparent lack of) morality, the characters, you name it!

I'm not trying to glorify a victim of war joining the side of the ones responsible for her people's genocide, even if it's just for show and she's actually set on destroying their government from within. Not at all.

Katara made a stupid, horrible decision, and she's going to suffer the consequences. But she's also going to fight to reach her goals, because she's stubborn like that.

I know most people may have a little trouble understanding where I'm coming from, because they don't have all the information necessary to make a full opinion.

I'm really thankful for these kind of asks. They let me explore these concepts and AUs in depth, and see what you think about them. I'm only human—my opinions are not infalible, nor The Right Ones, and this is a kind of discussion that I love to have.

So, keep the asks coming!!!

[bg3-bitching]

Re the same 2 conversations happening over and over, I want to submit another recurring theme that comes up so frequently it’s nearly impossible to avoid: the idea that an “imperfect survivor” like Astarion really needs compassion and patience from others—except in the context of this game, this innocuous-on-its-own idea is overwhelmingly framed as “therefore a good person would stick with Astarion through his cruelty and sexual manipulations because he needs to be cruel and sexually manipulate you in order to feel safe, but give him time and he’ll get better!” And anyone who expresses basic dislike for Astarion’s early behavior is told “but stick with him and he has the best development” at best, and at worst, “you must hate stories of survivors who aren’t ‘perfect.’” Where to begin with the conflations and assumptions? As though it’s impossible to be a survivor or care about survivors and not love this cruel, manipulative, abusive character. As though it is never valid for anyone worthy of respect to find Astarion’s early behavior a dealbreaker. As though finding Astarion’s actual cruelty and sexual manipulations too high a price to pay for whatever development he has later is a sign of an inferior moral character in real life. And don’t get me started on the tendency to call holding Astarion accountable for his cruel words and actions “victim-blaming.” In a word, yikes?

Which brings me to another point about this character being less than groundbreaking: “you owe it to a cruel man to stay with him and endure him treating you badly because he’s only cruel as a result of his past suffering and he will get better through your love” is not a new message at ALL. Especially not to women. And while I will give it to the game that this wasn’t necessarily intended in the writing, too often this is exactly what a lot of the gushing about Astarion’s character falls into and regurgitates. It can be a bad time to run into that over and over again, especially combined with other characters being vilified in comparison with Astarion. It can feel as though the efforts to drive home that “you never owe someone who is cruel to you a relationship, it is not your moral obligation to fix them through your love, you are not a bad or unkind person for leaving to protect yourself” is being directly combatted. Even though I know it’s just a game, when the rhetoric about “why Astarion matters so much” takes this form, it can feel really hostile. Rather than expanding awareness and empathy for all survivors, it often feels like another game of “this cruel white man’s pain matters more than other people’s safety.”

(Disclaimer about “not every Astarion fan says these things, just enough to be a disturbing pattern and impact one’s experience in general fan spaces,” etc.)

I have a response to this, but I'm gonna do a separate reblog for it.

This ask by itself needs to stand alone and be seen.

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

SW fanfic idea:

During the war, the Coruscant Guard kind of adopts a street kid, because clearly they don't have any guardian worthy of the name and end up in their custody way too often.

It just so happens that the kid's name is Alexsandr Kallus.

Snippets :

(sadly this doesn't change anything when order 66 rolls in)

Kallus' facial hair in this au is actually a nod to the clones' tendency to have distinct facial hair.

The Guards used to call him Sasha or Sash'ika. (he was pretty small back then)

He began to drink caff because it reminded him of Commander Fox. Even now the smell is a comfort. The first time he drank it he had a flashback to one of the numerous times he helped one of the medics, Cerise, with hiding Fox's caff because the man needed sleep post-haste.

Due to spending quite a bit of time with the aforementioned medic, Kallus actually has some competence in the domain.

When he becomes ISB and gets armor he paints the inside of it with Corrie-red designs. Several of the designs come directly from the clones he was closest to.

When he was a kid, Kallus wanted to join the Coruscant Guard and used to excitedly tell the clones about the way he would paint his armor when he would get it. Said clones were pretty touched and usually refrained from telling him they had no idea if a non-clone was even allowed to join the Guard.

When dressed as a civilian, Kallus leans (both unconsciously and on purpose) towards clothes a distinct shade of red.

When he joins the rebellion, he's actually pretty uneasy around Rex. He reminds Kallus of what happened to his family and the way they lost their free will after order 66. So he avoids Rex for a while until the Ghost crew confronts him about it.

After the truth comes out, Rex slowly begins to think about Kallus as a nephew.

At some points Rex finds a blank set of clone armor and gives it to Kallus, who paints it Corrie-red and wears it diligently. Zeb is just happy his trouble-prone friend finally has some protection.

Clones are an especially sensitive point for Kallus and he often tries to find and de-chip surviving clones while working for Intel. Before he joined the rebels he used to try to put clones in safe posts on peaceful planets, possibly even planets where a surgeon might perform brain surgery if paid enough. After he joins he actively tries to bring clones back to base and de-chip them. Rex is very happy to help. It's their own mission within the missions.

One of the clones Rex and Kallus manage to save end up being one of the captains of the Guard. She and Kallus were pretty close, and there's an emotional reunion involved once she wakes up from surgery.

(there is also a shovel talk involved once she realizes how Zeb looks at their Sasha)

(Captain Amaranth decides to stay with the Rebellion if only make sure Kallus is safe. She is unfit for active duty due to rather severe PTSD and decides to become one of the base's cooks. She is much more successful at getting Kallus to eat regularly than anyone else)

(she also loves to tell stories about Kallus as a kid. One of her favorites is how he painted flowers on her pauldron when she asked him to help her with the new paint. Kallus later gives her a pauldron with much better drawn flowers)

(everyone has called her mom at some point, but none more so than Kallus. Some recruits actually believe she's Kallus' actual mom)

Rex and Kallus bonding by quietly re-painting their armor together.

Kallus getting to tell stories about his family to the Ghost crew and other friends! He hasn't been able to talk about the clones who mostly raised him since..... Well since he lost them, essentially. So this is good!

He got his work ethic from Fox. Amaranth says that's not a good thing.

(she's right)

At some point he discovers that Vader snapped Fox's neck and let me tell you the sith is lucky he's already dead. (Kallus is also secretly a bit relieved because that's a pretty fast and painless death. At least he didn't suffer too much....)

To counteract the angst of this last one, please imagine some Corrie dumping a sleepy Sasha on top of Fox so that the commander can't move, which ends up with Fox sleeping too (mission accomplished!). Little Alexsandr and Fox napping curled up together on a couch.......

[chubphoe-linkclick]

People like to point to a lot of random scenes in Link Click to justify why ShiGuang being romantic is canon. Now, I'm not the creator of Link Click, I have no authority on the subject. So most the time, it's a "lets agree to disagree" situation.

However, there is one scene from Episode 1 that I find down-right offensive for people to point to as evidence of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang being an item:

There is no doubt that this scene is incredibly beautiful and loving, but romance isn't what makes this scene beautiful, nor is it what makes the bond they share so touching and engaging to watch. The fact that they honest-to-God love and care about each other is.

What makes this particular scene really lovely is information we're given later in the show. Its full tenderness only clicks in hindsight once we know more about the characters and Cheng Xiaoshi's past. Specifically, when we understand more about how their powers work and the tragic fact that Xiaoshi is (effectively) an orphan.

So we need to back up a few steps.

The scene begins with us seeing Emma dreaming about her parents, and we eventually see a visual representation of how Cheng Xiaoshi is also experiencing this dream as her, taking on her feelings.

Then there's her parents leaving, metaphorical for how out of her life they are now and how much Emma misses her parents (duh).

The fun part comes from the fact that it's not Emma we see as a child at this point, but Xiaoshi. He is being left behind by his parents.

Look at this face. IT'S THE FACE OF PAIN, and for me it honestly didn't make sense why this dream was as emotionally impactful for him as it was (on my first watchthrough).

Afterwards Cheng Xiaoshi wakes up, and Lu Guang notices this. At times like this, I really appreciate the dub for localising what's being said better than the more literal subtitles (even though the dub definitely says some shit that just ain't true). The dub's word choices are:

LG: "You're up?" CXS: "I dreamt that I had spring rolls with my parents." LG: "Folks on your mind?" CXS: "Yeah, and they're on hers as well."

LG: "When you became her, you took on some of her feelings and her memories. It must be tough." CXS: "... I wonder if they'll come back."

and then Cheng Xiaoshi rolls over and starts hugging himself tightly because of the unbearable pain

It takes a hot second for Lu Guang to realise what Cheng Xiaoshi actually means by his statement, that the 'they' in question is his own parents rather than anyone in Emma's life. Naturally, Lu Guang understands that Cheng Xiaoshi is suffering immensely right now because Xiaoshi's being forced to feel the agonising hole is his life that came from the worst thing that ever happened to him.

And so, he reaches through time and space (metaphorically?) to comfort him, his all-time best friend and, yes, potential romantic partner, telling him that "It will work out, just rest." Because SWEET JESUS, WHO WOULDN'T TRY COMFORTING THEIR FRIEND IN THAT MOMENT!? WHO??

It's beautiful. It's sweet. It's loving. It shows how in-tune they are to each other and that they care about each other's well being. No macho shit here, only a wholesome connection that we are all jealous of and celebrate.

Bonus analysis: knowing Cheng Xiaoshi's emotional state at this point, his re-suffering of the pain from being separated from his parents, then makes the message from Emma's mother and his reaction to it all the more emotionally touching.

Maybe the reason he sent the reply "I miss you" wasn't even for Emma's sake in that moment, but a result of the line between his own loneliness and hers having become so blurred in that sleepy moment.

I'd just like to clarify again, if you think they're gay together: cool. If you think this scene is the reason why: not cool.

Romance isn't the highest form of love, and it's not gay or weird to love your friends. What Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang have is really beautiful, and I honestly don't think I've ever seen such a great depiction of two men who are so comfortably close to each other.

Whether their relationship is platonic or otherwise doesn't really matter here. What upsets me is the unhealthy elevation of romantic love as the most true and purest form of love over all other kinds -- that you can only care about someone this much and want them in your life ONLY if you want to marry them or something -- an idea that ends up hurting a lot of people.

Romance isn't what makes this scene beautiful, nor is it what makes the bond they share so touching and engaging to watch. The fact that they honest-to-God love and care about each other is.

[bamsara]

"...Did you just sniff me?" (The prompt thing but it’s just sun or moon talking to the kitten)

(Kinda spoilers for folks who haven't read SL, but not really. I really liked how this drabble turned out, so lemme know you guy's thoughts)

It's when you get up to use the restroom at night do you hear a voice coming in through your living room.

It catches your ear one step out of the washroom, and you pause in the hallway. Down the corrridor, you're careful not to step on the wood that creaks or peak too far out of the doorway, still half-asleep and wondering what soft, low sentences are coming from inside your home.

You're not scared it's an intruder because the Daycare Attendant would simply Not Allow That (in gentler terms, Sun puts it. Moon is harsher.) and it can't be Gramps because the clock on the wall says it's 2:34 AM and he'd rather suffer through learning how to work a smart phone than do maintence in the middle of the night, so you peer into the hallway. The TV is on, maybe?

It's not. There's no light, so it takes some time for your eyes to adjust, the only source of illumination comes from the eyes of your animatronic roomate. Moon's eyes are a cool pale color, a calm white, and it casts a glow over the little moving kitten standing on the sofa in front of him.

Moon speaks, quietly, softly enough in ways that you know he's been programmed and well practiced in, so you don't hear the exact words until the kitten steps forwards, timid, and it's nose touches the tips of animatronic's extended fingers.

"Did you just sniff me?" His tone is quiet and light, head cocking to the side. Not out of confusion, but he sounded like he was teasing, like talking to a toddler. Moon keeps his hand still. The kitten, still cautious, touches it's nose to his thumb and doesn't flinch when he brushes it over it's head. "Good girl. We're friends. See?"

The kitten still shakes as Moon's finger runs over it's back, a small, puny thing that's only known the cold and hungry. Then, it falls back. Hair raising slightly and eyes wide. Moon's hand pauses, then falls back to the sofa, unmoving, and waits for the kitten to approuch again.

You bite your tongue when he raises his finger slightly, and softly makes a familier noise. "Pssp pssp pssp pssp. Here. Come here."

Some memories arise in the back of your mind as the kitten judges it's options, staring at the robot's hand with a mixture of caution and curiosity. You run your fingers down your arm and across your wrist, mindlessly.

You're about to make your leave, preferably without disturbing them and go back to your room when Moon speaks, this time a little louder. "It didn't work on you."

You pause, head turning back towards the sofa. Moon hasn't torn his gaze away from the kitten, but he's aware of your prescenes. Probably from the beginning, given he was a robot and all. Better senses and all that. You softley smile. "It didn't, but this time you're trying your best not to be scary. That's the difference, right?"

"Hmm." Moon makes a low hum, thoughtful . The kitten has found entertainment with the ribbons around his wrist, fears forgotten as the robot twists his hand. A moment, and Moon's head raises up, slowly turning to face you in the doorway.

A stretched grin is etched across his face, the eye on his darker side dimming to a red. "You're up late, brat."

You roll your eyes and wave a hand over your shoulder. "Don't get started. I'm going back to bed."

Snickering echoes from the living room as you enter the bedroom, cracking the door open an inch so he doesn't have to turn the knob and make a noise when he enters later (because he always does, without fail, if anything to vandalize your notebooks while you slept) and climbs back underneath the covers.

[yandereunsolved]

tw(s): yandere themes, reference to sa, murder, mention of possible suicide

yandere Tate Langdon who first saw you when you moved in with your family. He was sitting outside listening to Hayden rant about Ben for the umpteenth time. It was like that hole that had been ripped in his soul by Violet was repaired. No, you seemed so different from her. Violet's heart called out to him but your soul screams for his loving caress.

yandere Tate Langdon who is immediately blocked by Violet and her mother when he tries to see you better. Both are insistent that he stays away from you. They bother threaten him but he's only half listening. He's standing on his tiptoes looking through his your our window. He practically has hearts in his eyes.

yandere Tate Langdon who is consistently cockblocked by Violet's family and Moira. Violet immediately introduced you to the fact that ghosts are in this house. Violet warns you that Tate is crazy and not to be trusted.

yandere Tate Langdon who attacks Violet and drags her down to the basement so he can spend time with you.

yandere Tate Langdon who manipulates you into thinking Violet is lying. He says that the mass murder part is true, but not the murdering of the gay couple and the sexual assault of Viven. He cries his heart out to you. He begs and speaks of his mommy issues. He pulls out all of his manipulation tactics.

yandere Tate Langdon who infantilizes himself around you to make himself seem more innocent. He is more vulnerable and soft.

yandere Tate Langdon who asks your opinion on everything. If you like it, he likes you. You hate it, he hates it. He begs you to like his things. He begs for your validation and praise. He craves it more than anything else in the world.

yandere Tate Langdon who always goes through your stuff without your permission. He always puts it back and has a fit if you catch him. He cries and begs for you to forgive him. He then cuddles into you and peppers you with kisses telling you how much he loves you.

yandere Tate Langdon who takes your stuff sometimes, a lot of the time, for private use later.

yandere Tate Langdon who has a private journal of his murder and sexual fantasies. He writes down everything he knows about you. He writes down sappy little love poems that he slips into your pocket(s).

yandere Tate Langdon who has made a hit list of everyone you dislike. As well as people near you that he doesn't like. He's written in his private journal about the ways he is going to kill your family and get rid of their bodies— just incase. He doesn't want their spirits staying in this house and interrupting your precious time together.

yandere Tate Langdon who asks you to rent books from the library. He asks a lot of different genres. He begins to get more specific with spell books and literature about witchcraft.

yandere Tate Langdon who plans on getting rid of the rest of the spirits with spells. He adds it to his journal for later use.

yandere Tate Langdon who watches you even when you don't know. When you are sleeping, showering, studying, changing, anything.

yandere Tate Langdon who respects boundaries only when they are convenient for him. He is always pushing your boundaries gently. He frames it as 'getting you out of your comfort zone'. If you get too upset or confront him he gets violent. He throws a temper tantrum and disappears for perhaps weeks. You think he has disappeared but he is just watching from the shadows.

yandere Tate Langdon who makes you so dependent on him that you'll believe anything that comes out of his mouth.

yandere Tate Langdon who will starve you of his attention and presence if you get mad or even just look at him the wrong way. He says that he is just establishing his boundaries and cooling off. What he's really doing is making you suffer.

yandere Tate Langdon who feels bad in some way. He doesn't want to manipulate you and be toxic but he has to! You'll get in danger and could even die without his guidance! He would rather get broken up with Violet for all eternity as opposed to losing you at the hands of the world.

yandere Tate Langdon who spends all his time with you. Or waiting for you to come back from where ever. Or hiding in his invisible ghost mode when your family is around.

yandere Tate Langdon who wants nothing more than to stake his claim on you. He wants your family to hear every noise fall past your lips because of him. He wants you to make him whimper and make him squirm. He wants your family to think you have some secret boyfriend. Where did those hickeys come from? Tate gave them to you when you were sleeping... he couldn't help himself. You just looked so warm and inviting. He didn't mean it at first. He just started kissing your skin and he got a little aggressive, okay?

yandere Tate Langdon who doesn't want you to ever leave the house. He hangs off of you and loves on you until you don't leave. If you have school/friends/work/alone time... nooooooooooooooo. He pouts and sulks when you aren't there. He lays on your bed and cries sometimes. He plots murder. He draws little drawings for you. He harasses your family— harasses your family?

yandere Tate Langdon who harasses your family and mentally tortures them. He uses the other ghosts to do. He'll purposefully cause arguments in your family. Put things where they don't belong. Make it seem like someone is cheating on someone else. Maybe your family member is just having a shitty day... Tate is gonna make it the shittiest day they have ever had.

yandere Tate Langdon who gets taught about the intricacies of technology by you. He hacks into your electronic and looks at your search history. By hacks I mean learns your password. He accidentally got a virus on your computer once. Any social media you have is immediately monitored by Tate. He creates his own account and boosts every one of your comment. Wants to commit another mass murder whenever someone gives you a negative comment.

yandere Tate Langdon who crawls into your lap at night.

yandere Tate Langdon who tells you his deepest and darkest secrets. Besides the entire stalking, manipulating, and murder fantasy stuff.

yandere Tate Langdon who has very special things planned for your first Halloween with him. A romantic picnic on the beach at night. A bubble bath with rose petals afterwards. Laying in your bed and listening to Niravna. Your enemies disappearing. Violet, Vivien, and Ben suddenly disappearing. Thanks magic! Now there are fewer obstacles in the way of your eternal and ever lasting love.

yandere Tate Langdon who helps your low mental health and constantly praises you. He love bombs you so very much.

yandere Tate Langdon who plans on having you commit suicide after the rest of the ghosts are gone, and your family. He'll convince you and won't let you leave the house until you do.

yandere Tate Langdon who is wrapped around your finger so tight. All he does is for you. You could even manipulate him if you are skilled enough— be careful though. He's an unstable mass murder with mommy issues.

yandere Tate Langdon who is ready to burn down the world for you.

[ddejavvu]

idk if you’ve been asked this before but what are your thoughts on reid lashing out at jj about the whole emily thing in season 7?

my thoughts are that it's too complicated to say i'm on either one's side </3

JJ fucking pissed me off with the later Jeid storyline but I liked her at the beginning of the show -> onwards until p much right there, so I tried not to let that letdown influence my retrospective on the s7 situation.

JJ was following highly classified, highly important government orders. Her boss told her to keep her mouth shut for safety reasons, and as someone who's seen countless friends and family members suffer because intel got loose, I can understand why she'd adhere so firmly to the guidelines. She was a good agent.

However, Reid requires stability and consistency in his environment, as he is at a high risk for slipping back into his addiction + developing symptoms of his mother's illness (which, if i remember correctly, were teased but never actually confirmed in him. My point is, he's an at-risk individual who was thrown into grief). I can completely understand how finding out that the shoulder you cried on for months and months and months was actually lying to you about the source of your grief would make someone angry. I actually think he deserved to be angry, he had the right to be angry, but then things become muddled when you ask me if i think he had the right to be angry at JJ.

Personally, I think I'd initially feel very betrayed if I were Spencer, even if i worked it out later. But again, JJ was following orders to keep Emily alive, and if she had confessed and compromised the undercover operation, Emily would have been killed.

I think, in the actual scene, JJ had absolutely no right to tell him that if he was a better profiler, he'd have been able to figure things out. I thought it was a really low blow for her, especially knowing that he'd been so devastated over his friend's 'death'. I understand that his anger caught her off guard, and she felt unjustly blamed, and I might have been upset or torn too in her position. But the way that she handled it was highly unprofessional and something a petty teenager would say and then reluctantly apologize for once they discover their actions have consequences.

I think that Reid basically pouting during work hours and letting his personal feelings affect his work (y'know, saving lives) was also highly unprofessional. However, the issue was that the entire situation revolved around his work in the first place, and Emily just like slipped right back in?? so he had zero time to process anything and I don't know if I'd be able to separate my feelings from my job either.

I don't blame Spencer for not feeling like he could trust JJ/his team after that, at least not as deeply as he used to. I don't blame JJ for feeling hurt that Spencer took his anger out on her rather than the general situation/even Hotch who gave JJ the orders, and told Spencer he was responsible for it.

it bothers me when Spencer stans will demonize JJ for it while refusing to acknowledge Spencer's missteps, and it pisses me off when JJ likers use it to call Reid a petty toddler without considering his feelings on the matter. All in all, it was a complicated, messy situation with no completely right or wrong side, in my opinion.

[kopfkino-o]

In Defense of Azriel: A Dissertation, Part One

One thing I see a lot within this fandom is the suggestion that Azriel, somehow, feels entitled to Elain, that he is some raging incel or some torture-loving freak or a white knight only interested in pursuing unattainable women, etc etc. And I am just not okay with that.

Azriel is SUCH a nuanced character and the fact so many people fail to see the context of his personality, his role within the narrative, and the obvious themes SJM is using in regard to his character is just... baffling to me. Especially when he has the potential to be such a powerful male character with an important story that deserves to be told.

So here we go, I'm defending Azriel with my whole chest. This is obviously a pro-Azriel post with pro-Elriel undertones, so if that isn't your thing then SCROLL.

Thx love you all bye.

1) Azriel suffers greatly with his sense of self-worth, so much so he thinks he is deserving of nothing.

We learn first from Mor that Azriel thinks so little of himself, no doubt a direct symptom of his childhood, that he harbors a deep sense of unworthiness. So much so that even if he were a prince, even if the woman he loved (I question this, but that is a whole other post I'll save for later, so I digress) stripped naked before him he wouldn't feel worthy enough to act.

"The issue, actually, wouldn't be me. It'd be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn't move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it wouldn't matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris--he'll still see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me." - Mor, ACOMAF, Chapter 52

I think this is a great line to turn to when trying to understand the value Az places on himself. Mor says it herself, she could strip naked for him and he would still see himself as undeserving, still see himself as someone who shouldn't be granted the chance to have her affection. If he feels his way with Mor, someone who he supposedly has loved for centuries (again, I question this lol), then I think it's fair to claim he probably sees himself this way with all women.

This feels like the furthest thing from entitlement to me.

We can also see this inclination towards self-loathing come up again in the ACOSF Az bonus chapter when he gifts the necklace to Elain for the first time.

"He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin." - Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2)

These thoughts don't come from him thinking that he and Elain are wrong for wanting to be together, that their shared moment of affection (both now and as hinted at by the "This was the furthest it had ever gone" line) is wrong, but rather from this innate feeling of unworthiness. Az sees himself as nothing (see point below) and cannot fathom why someone like Elain, lovely Elain who resembles hope and the sun at dawn, would ever stop and see him. Give him her time, her offer and permission, would ever call his scarred hands-- the physical reminder of his trauma--beautiful.

He thinks it's wrong because he believes someone like him could never deserve a woman like her.

"Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all." Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2).

LIKE COME ON. This man sees himself as nothing. The fact he spoke up regarding his thoughts on the Cauldron potentially being wrong to begin with was a big thing for him, he who has many secrets, and Rhys SHUT HIM DOWN. 500+ years and even Cassian states Az is slow to open up, see below:

"Cassian knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. Az would speak when he was ready, and Cassian would have better success convincing a mountain to move than getting Az to open up." - Cassian, ACOSF, Chapter Nineteen

Az did speak this time, he felt so strongly and questioned fate itself so fiercely that he opened up to Rhys. He questioned the Cauldron, the fatemaker itself, not because he is entitled to Elain, but because there is something between them, something that has been brewing between them ever since their first meeting, something so fierce he is (finally) compelled to open up, to speak because he was ready. Think about how important that is for a character like him. Azriel, whose brothers of 500+ years could move a mountain more easily than get him to open up, did in fact, open up...

And he was shot down.

Of course, he wasn't going to wax off a lecture about Rhys's suggestion being wrong--because it was Rhys, not Azriel, who suggested entitlement.

Rhys's face drained of color. " You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

Azriel never suggested anything like this. An overwhelmed, distraught Rhys who feared for his mate and unborn child did.

And Azriel shut down, just as he did when he first confessed his feelings to Mor, and immediately abandoned the conversation in favor of silence. Not because he was pissed, or felt he was wronged, but because he saw these moments as validation of his nothingness, proof he was nothing, would always be nothing.

2) "If I Fail, They Will Leave Me" Complex

One thing I think that is important about Azriel's character that is often overlooked is his liberation from his father's dungeon. He wasn't set free when his hands were burned, rather returned to his "dark, airless cell" where was forced to continue on, burned and broken, for three years.

Three bloody years.

It was only when/sometime after his shadowsinging gifts first emerged that he was granted freedom. If you can call it that. Not because he was a little boy who deserved freedom, but because he had magic: a tool of value, a weapon to be used.

And used it was.

We learn from Rhys that Shadowsingers are highly coveted...

"Shadowsingers are rare--coveted by courts and territories across the world for their stealth and predisposition to hear and feel things others can't." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

And that Az was sent to the camp only AFTER his gifts were discovered.

"Az's father sent him to our camp once he and his charming wife realized he was a shadowsinger." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

This all goes to say that Azriel's freedom was largely granted because of his magic. What would this say to a literal child? He was only valuable because of his magic, because of what he could do.

And this need to please, this need to serve, and the subsequent fear of failure are very prevalent within Az's character. He runs himself ragged, he brings too much onto his plate, he is so busy he doesn't sleep, he always volunteers to put himself into harm's way because he thinks that is all he has to offer. I suspect his time working as the personal spymaster for Rhys's father might also have contributed to these feelings, but I don't have enough info at current to delve any further into that.

Moving on, all this also goes to combat the "pro-torture" argument I sometimes see. Do I think Azriel loves slicing and dicing? No, not really. Same as Rhys doesn't like breaking into people's minds. I suspect Az sees his work in Hewn City as a similarly necessary evil, something he must do (rather than anyone else) because he is already "tainted", something he has to do to be worthy. Something he does because, regardless of how it makes him feel, provides value to his loved ones. I suspect Az probably feels if he were to stay no, if he were to refuse, then he would be deemed useless, unworthy, and abandoned as a result. Not that this would ever happen, but I think Az probably sees so little value in himself he thinks only his magic and skills are all he can provide his brothers. Not because they don't love and support him, but because years and years of trauma reinforce this idea.

It's really, really heartbreaking if you think about it.

Anywayssss, that's all I have in me for tonight, but I've got a few other points I will be adding to expand this post! I love (civil) fandom discourse, so feel free to drop in thoughts and opinions below.

Thanks for reading this behemoth!

[wren-of-the-woods]

Hello can I request 83. “When I’m with you, I’m happy” for yennskier please 💛

Rated G, no warnings. AO3 here.

The breeze from the ocean ruffled Jaskier’s hair as he laughed, twirling his way through dancers. 

He was in the middle of a festival and enjoying himself immensely. Geralt was training Ciri, so he and Yennefer were traveling together — she had not hesitated to agree with his suggestion of traveling along the coast, the significance of which was not lost on him — and he had managed to persuade her to stop for this town’s midsummer celebration. 

The townspeople were dancing and singing on the bluffs overlooking the ocean, surrounded by flowers, ferns, and soft golden-brown grass. The sea breeze was a welcome respite from the summer heat found inland. The first tufts of evening fog were beginning to drift past overhead, and pelicans occasionally soared by over the sea. 

The company was lovely. The food was excellent. The music was passable, and the dancing delightful. Jaskier had acquired a crown of flowers and small ferns at some point in the afternoon. He could hardly stop smiling. 

Yennefer had danced for a while, but eventually wandered off. When Jaskier noticed her absence, he reluctantly pulled himself away from the festivities to search for her. 

He found her a few minutes later, sitting on the outskirts of the festival and looking out over the ocean. Jaskier approached and sat down beside her. 

“What are you doing out here?” he asked. 

“I got tired of dancing.”

Once, Jaskier would have ridiculed that statement. How could anyone grow tired of dancing? But he liked to think that the passing years had mellowed him somewhat, or at least made him a little more sensible. He made an understanding sort of hum, something he had probably picked up from Geralt, and let it slide. 

“I hope you’re not too bothered by my taking us out here,” he said as the dancers twirled and the onlookers smiled. A child strayed a little too close to the bluff and a mother retrieved her. “I know you’re eager to get back to Ciri.”

“I don’t mind,” said Yennefer.

Jaskier narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you sure? You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself much.”

“I’m sure.” 

“You don’t have to suffer for my sake. I can wrap up soon.”

“Jaskier, you’re being a fool. Shut up.”

“I know I can be pushy. I don’t think it’s idiocy to care about my friend’s happiness.”

Yennefer closed her eyes. Even in her exasperation, she looked beautiful among the flowers and with the sea breeze in her hair. 

“You had better listen closely,” she said, “Because I am only going to say this once.”

Jaskier obediently perked up, listening. 

“Coming here is barely inconvenient, and I would do it even if it wasn’t. It is not a hardship for me to do things like this for you.” She looked him in the eyes. “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Oh,” said Jaskier. “That’s… oh.”

He swallowed, hard. Yennefer was looking at him with minor exasperation but no trace of dishonesty. He didn’t think anyone had ever said that to him, not while meaning it so truly, and from Yennefer, such tender words meant more than he could express.

“Exactly,” said Yennefer. “Now go enjoy yourself. I’ll wait here.”

“Wait,” said Jaskier, “I just— you— I—”

Yennefer smirked a little. “Have I finally rendered you speechless?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Yennefer’s expression softened. Wordlessly, she guided him close by the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

“I love you,” Jaskier said when they drew apart, rather breathlessly.

“Pushover,” Yennefer said fondly. “I love you too.”

Jaskier was smiling widely enough that he probably looked rather idiotic, but he could not bring himself to care. 

“Dance with me?” he asked before he could second-guess himself.

Yennefer narrowed her eyes playfully. “Weaponizing the fact that I care already?”

Jaskier batted his eyes at her “Never. I just wanted the honor of sharing a dance with my beautiful and wonderful witchy wife.”

Yennefer seemed to be trying to hold back a smile. She was failing. “Flatterer.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“You’re an idiot. I can’t believe I’m about to dance with you in public.”

Jaskier grinned and jumped to his feet. “Let’s go!”

He offered her a hand. She took it, and he used it to pull her to her feet. Hand in hand, they walked through the flowers toward the dancing. 

Yennefer’s hand was warm in Jaskier’s. She looked ethereal with the sea breeze fluttering in her hair and her skirts. She was gazing at him with a smile. Jaskier thought absently that they probably looked just as besotted as the many other couples at the festival. Despite her earlier reluctance, Jaskeir had a feeling that Yennefer would not be satisfied with just one dance.

They reached the center of the festival. Jaskier tapped his feet in time with the drums. 

Yennefer gestured to the crowd of dancers. “Shall we?”

Jaskier grinned and pulled her close. “We shall.”

And, there on the bluffs by the sea, they danced. 

[bookofmirth]

I was thinking about when Lucien tells Feyre that she was a better friend to him than she was to her, and how we as readers have reacted to that line over the years, and had a few thoughts.

The main thing is that characters can and will do/say things that they believe to be true, that we know are not actually true. The characters may also know that they are untrue, but don't want to admit. We lie to ourselves all the time, and characters do too. It may not even be the case that sjm wants *us* to believe that Lucien is speaking the truth. The important thing is that, in that moment, Lucien believes that he is speaking the truth.

We should not confuse what the characters are saying with what the author is saying. An author is NOT their characters. A character can and will say/do things that an author does not agree with, and may not even like. A character saying/doing something is NOT an endorsement of saying/doing that thing by the author. (This can be easier to understand when you read poetry - though there has been an increase in confessional poetry in the past few decades which is largely autobiographical, the narrator of a poem is NOT necessarily the same as the author of a poem.)

This isn't to say that Feyre is being an unreliable narrator; we have Lucien's literal words that he spoke to her, there was no reflection on those words by Feyre that tells us what she thinks of them, and she would have no reason to lie. As a fandom, I wish we could stop getting so hung up on the idea of unreliable narrators and differing character perspectives as a means to argue that one character is "more right" than another, or that we get "the truth" when we view from a specific character's eyes. That's... not how it works. There is no such thing as an objective way of viewing pretty much anything. Everything relies on perspective. We all hear/read things and those things get filtered through the giant pasta strainer of our upbringing, our beliefs, our values, our professions, our hobbies, etc. SJM has never been an author to use unreliable narration, but she does use differing perspectives. If she didn't, then every single character would seem like the same person. It's 10000% normal for us to understand characters and events differently when we hear about them from another character.

So back to my main point, I think that we can read this as Lucien genuinely believing this statement to be true - that he truly thinks that Feyre was a better friend to him if we consider his context.

Lucien has no real home with stability. He was banished from Autumn, he is estranged from his brothers, he cannot be there to protect his mother, his role in Spring has some importance but is reliant on the goodwill of someone who is, frankly, increasingly unstable. Lucien likely feels very indebted to Tamlin, and now that Feyre is Tamlin's bride/ex-fiancée, to her. There is also the role that she played UtM in trying to help Lucien. In other words, thanks to Beron being an asshole, Lucien relies on other people's goodwill for his basic survival. (This is why, later on, he would rather stay with the BoE. He isn't beholden to them in the same way that he would be to Rhys, yet another person taking pity on Lucien's dépaysement.)

In retrospect, Lucien feels guilt for not having done more when Feyre was suffering in acomaf. It's easier for him to see how she was suffering because he was suffering in an adjacent manner. In the beginning of acomaf, Feyre was making excuses for Tamlin, trying to be patient, to wait out his anger and grief at what happened UtM. Lucien was doing the exact same thing, but it took him longer to recognize how toxic it was because Lucien, unlike Feyre, didn't have the advantage of someone literally swooping in to take him away and give him perspective. He got there, though, when Tamlin starts working with Hybern and especially after he sees Feyre back in Spring, which leads me to my next point.

Lucien is clearly wary of Feyre's lies while she is in the Night Court. He suspects that she is pretending to be in love with Tamlin, pretending to be loyal to the Spring Court. This reinforces his understanding of just how toxic Spring has become, the fact that Feyre saw it, understood, and acted before he did. So tying these issues together - Lucien's exile, his reliance on other people for stability, his dawning understanding that Feyre recognized the situation for what it was before he did, that he has ended up in this situation where his mate is now at risk - and Lucien feels a whole lot of "if only I had..." And he now sees Feyre as someone who saw the situation for what it was before he did, and acted accordingly. But we as the reader know why that was harder for Lucien.

So going back to my point about Lucien believing this is all true, we know that it's not, and that's a normal part of being a reader. Lucien makes that statement after telling Feyre about Ianthe and Calanmai; we know that not long after, right after she tells Lucien that she wishes she could have stopped his assault, she nearly - knowingly - allows it to happen again. Lucien's words and Feyre's actions don't align, and there is nothing in the narrative that tells us that her actions are okay.

(A related rant, but characters don't need to be punished for us to understand if their actions are morally okay or not. We are smart people, we can tell that for ourselves. It may be annoying to us if they aren't punished, but that's another idea that has pervaded book spaces - that if problematic action isn't punished or portrayed negatively, then the author must think it's okay. No, maybe the author trusts us to know what's right and what's not, and doesn't feel the need to beat us over the head with it because books do not have to be moral, didactic tools.)

SJM could have written it so that Feyre didn't hesitate to help Lucien. She could have written it so that Feyre didn't intentionally try to put Lucien in the path of Tamlin's anger. She could have written Feyre to be a saint, but she didn't, and just because another character views Feyre's actions favorably doesn't mean that we have to, because we have the benefit of knowing that sometimes, people lie to themselves and/or say things they don't truly mean or believe. And furthermore, just because one character views Feyre's actions favorably, doesn't mean that SJM does. Remember - the characters =/= the author. SJM doesn't actually believe or agree with everything the characters say and do. She doesn't have to agree with anything they say or do.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[deusluxuria]

Someone on here a while ago asked me if I could elaborate on a post I wrote about (anime) Fugo's Stand being a metaphor for some effects of trauma.

(I just now wrote a whole-ass thing in Evernote about this, and then Evernote damn ate the whole thing lol - I'll try to write a smaller thing then)

(Content warning: mention of p3dophilia / CSA in a fictional story)

Fugo desperately begged his teacher (who had already done something to him in the past) to leave him alone. His teacher didn't. That's when Fugo beat him with the book. Only to be ostracized for it, accused of "seducing" his teacher for better grades (when he was a child??), and exiled from his own family.

With Purple Haze, an embodiment of his rage, no one can come near him ever again.

Trauma can be infectious like a virus when we let it guide our rage to harm others -- rage makes the body strong, but the mind weak. Trauma can make us lash out to protect ourselves in ways that we may deeply regret later. Especially unresolved trauma; unacknowledged trauma.

Purple Haze is uncontrolled rage. Because Fugo can harm people with it, without the intention of doing so.

"If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on those who didn't cut you."

And unlike his teammates, he can't even safely throw a punch with his Stand. There is no way for him to use it without the possibility of harming people he's trying to protect.

The abuse of Fugo was never brought to justice. There were never repercussions. Things went in the polar opposite direction. So his pain stayed inward. And just as a balloon will burst if you keep adding air to it with no release, so will a person full of suffering that has been willfully ignored by everyone.

Furthermore... Fugo rarely uses his Stand. As if he's afraid of it.

He's ashamed of the unhealed parts of him that can make him dangerous even to his own friends.

Everyone on Bruno's team has a history of incomprehensible trauma. But it's clear to me from Fugo's Stand -- and from his refusal to follow his friends rather than a violent, tyrannical boss who tried to kill his own daughter -- that he doesn't know where to begin with his heartbreak.

Maybe he has never talked about it -- about the devastating betrayal by his teacher, his school, the law, his parents. Maybe he's never fully realized that the outcome was beyond unfair and that he didn't deserve any of that. Maybe he doesn't yet understand that there is life outside of trauma, or he has never had the chance to realize that.

I see him as someone who still thinks it's his fault (whether that's in his soul and not so much a conscious thing, or he believes it so much that he would tell someone else that he deserved his trauma).

Everyone was against him after he attacked his teacher. There was no one to confirm to him that his teacher was a monster and that he had been completely abandoned. It would've been easy for him to believe what the masses were saying about him, as he had no support system whatsoever.

There was no one to protect him. There was no one on his side.

It's possible that, because of this, Purple Haze is the way it is because Fugo never learned to control it.

Stands are representation of the user's soul. And Fugo's soul was lost, heartbroken, scared, and enraged.

[pendragaryen]

Merry christmas, my dear friends, mutuals and followers and all the best wishes for the upcoming new year! 🧡🫶🏻🧡🫶🏻🧡🫶🏻🧡

The last bit of 2022 and the whole of 2023 have not been very kind to my family - and so I'm standing here today, looking back at the past 13 months and finding myself almost back and stuck in the emotional state that I had been in after the separation from my long time boyfriend/life partner in 2009... That was a very dark time. I was trying to live and breathe with a constant black hole in my chest and soul for a couple of years then... I felt so empty and lost. I had a very similar feeling for the span of a couple of months after I had been kicked out of my job in 2017. But nothing, and I mean it, nothing has the rug under my feet pulled away and made me hit rock bottom like the cancer illness of my sister, the death of my grandma and now the fact that my mum is diagnosed with a tumor in her spine, all in the span of just 13 months... Please, we all need some rest in my family so desperately. But now we're all very anxious bc of the surgery my mum has to go through at the 12th of january. It's a difficult surgery. No-one knows for sure at this point what kind of a tumor it is. It causes her legs getting more and more numb and if they don't do anything, the risk of her ending up using a wheelchair rather sooner than later seems very likely. If the tumor should be malignant (please, god, no, NO!) the consequences would be even worse bc it could've spread already... But the fact that the doctors pushed for a fast surgery likely speaks for the possibility that the tumor is benign and seated in just one place... Well you see, this really keeps me busy... We all hope desperately that she will get better after the surgery, and not worse... We have plans! We want to travel together again! To the Netherlands next! Or to Danmark!

Don't get me wrong, there HAD been good things that happened in the last year, not at least the fact that my sister is now considered as cured. We're all so relieved and thankful, I have no words for it! But then... the death of our grandma... and now the tumor and surgery of my mother... I feel like i'm trapped in a constant state of emotional stress, like standing in the dark and screaming into the void with nobody being able to hear me... I can't even begin to imagine how my sister must've felt or how my mum is feeling now. Sometimes I think I'm too empathetic, the way I suffer with and for my beloved ones... that can't be healthy. I'm so tired.

Sorry to bother you with all this. I'm not around here that often anymore. Sadly I have to say I lost joy in many things I once loved or loved to do over the course of the last years. I'm unmotivated most of the time. But now... I have to function, I have to be there for my mum. It'll take half a year at least for her to recover from her surgery (if everything goes well - fingers crossed please!!!) and so I have to be strong - and I WILL be strong! For her! For my family! I hope my sister will support me then... The relationship of her and our mom is a little difficult... Sadly. But she's working on it..

I said I lost the joy in many things I loved once, but one thing I'll never get tired of is, on the rare occasions I visit this site, to read you all at our weekly BFSN, to see the 100 fam still being so creative and devoted, so that our favorite show never really gets forgotten. Thank you so much for that! And please keep tagging me in things! I read you, look at your photos, and I smile, even though I may not answer. This little corner of our fandom is so dear to me, it's almost a little like homecoming when I log in here. A comfort place.

Thank you all for your kind, empathetic, couraging, and motivational words at the last BFSN. I appreciate each and every one of it.

I hope the year has been kind to y'all and that these christmas holidays and the new year will be filled with tons of health, luck and love for you and all of us! Here's to a well deserved rest for us all!

And may we meet again. Here and in words. Maybe one day in person? Who knows?

Always.

Anne

@sunflowerkru: @togetherkru @carrieeve @ninappon @roguetwelve @bellamyblake @jeanie205 @geekyogicheese @natassakar @heartbellamy @okmcintyre @immortalpramheda @igotbellarkeforthat @infp-with-all-the-feelings @isweartobreathe @kizo2703 @travllingbunny @bookwormforalways @lee-em-dee @julibernardo @broashwhat @its-tea-time-darling @delicatebluebirdruins (and each and everyone else I maybe forgot, please excuse me)

[skaruresonic]

what were your favorite things about starline before he was ruined

Oh, God, Starline. ;A; How I miss the poor bastard.

Beyond his design, my favorite things about him included his foppishness, his showmanship, his meticulousness, his (relative) calm demeanor, his "comedic intern" angle, and his devotion to licking egg-shaped boot.

Oh, and the most prominent aspect of his character, the linchpin on which all else rests: the simpery.

I will give credit where credit is due, his simpery of Eggman coupled with his more cautious and lowkey nature (at least, compared to Eggman) offered a genuinely new and refreshing dynamic at the time. It didn't seem to come with strings attached as it usually does.

I also used to like his penchant for unintentional comedy. It seemed to be the same flavor of comedy with which they tinge some of Eggman's character.

Granted, Starline was probably always meant to be something of a buttmonkey, but later issues had him ping-pong between being Better Than Eggman(tm) and a buffoon. The constant switch made it difficult to fully invest in him in either case, because one minute we were meant to consider him a srs bsns mastermind and laugh at his failures the next. And not in the balanced way Eggman's humor generates; there were times I genuinely couldn't tell whether we were supposed to root for him or not.

And then, of course, he got crushed under rocks. Big oofed.

Starline used to be funny. Watching him rant and rave? Cry tears of joy? Make an uwu face as Rough and Tumble embarrass him in front of his idol? Funny, because it subverted his otherwise suave Bond villain image, and because you knew that eventually Eggman would crush his windpipe like a squeaky toy. Selling your soul to the devil can only end in tragedy. It filled you with a morbid sort of joy and a dark anticipation as you waited to see how bright this dumpster fire would blaze.

This was one pathetic meow-meow of a man, strange yet oddly compelling. Shame his delusions of grandeur stole away the entertaining aspects of his personality for a more boring, straight-laced character. Even bigger shame that we were supposed to pretend he never meant anything to begin with.

That's not to say Starline could never have had character development, nor that he should have remained a static character. Just as Sonic exerts a positive influence on others, show us how Eggman exerts a twisted influence. Make Starline's devotion to Eggman even unhealthier and fucked-up than it already was. Not in a "I can fix you" kind of way, but in an "I will light myself on fire to keep you warm" kind of way. To the point of self-destruction. That seemed to be the logical direction for such a character, anyway.

But nah, they had to drag us along Starline's unimpressive journey to strike out on his own. Which, like... He stole 90% of Eggman's shit anyway, so how effective was he really? And even if the whole point was that Eggman made him and he's nothing without his idol, then why did the book give him two mini-series? Has he been mentioned even once in the book since his death? Somehow, I very much doubt it.

I don't want to get into it with his creation of Surge and Kit because I'd rather pretend they don't exist, thanks. Yes, I'm aware Starline was originally conceived as their creator, but I think Flynn should have caught on that his character had changed. Realized that trying to cram him back into the original mold would only break him.

And you know what. Even after having suffered 30 issues where Starline was fucking insufferable with his whole "I'll surpass Eggman" schtick, I still felt sad for his passing.

To make matters worse, I felt foolish for my emotional investment, because dammit, I guess I was hoping his story would have culminated in something more substantial than "his favorite flowers are forget-me-nots (snicker)."

Now that I've learned that IDW can drop even their most popular characters in a heartbeat, I'm never making the mistake of even accidentally becoming invested in them again. They're not going to bother developing them or even give them a proper sendoff, so why should I continue reading?

Fs in the chat for my boy. They did him so dirty.