#big cleo energy

[bifairywife]

they don't make loving and supportive relationships where both characters are the popular ones in school the same way they used to 😔

[infini-tree]

anyway, gives you some voiceclaims:

victor: ??? (ok i did originally have whoever voiced the jewelery store guy from wordgirl chosen, but im having second thoughts)

seena: toks olagundoye

loughlan: omid abtahi

[msbigredmachine]

Say Cheese - A Roman Reigns One-Shot

A steamy after-work rendezvous with the Tribal Chief and his princess is captured in 4K.

PAIRING: Tribal Chief!Roman Reigns x OC

Warning: SMUT

Word count: 4.9k 

Song Muse: "Sativa" by Jhene Aiko and Rae Sremmurd

————————

The audible smacking of lips and sliding of tongues was the seductive tune serenading the lovers, seemingly drowning out the actual song blaring from the speakers of the hotel suite. It started out with soft, gentle pecks, but ever so greedy, he’d taken it up a notch, kissing her more hungrily at the same time he lifted her up onto the kitchenette’s counter. That lethal tongue of his consumed the insides of her mouth, earning his deep chuckle at her needy moan as her legs wrapped around his waist to keep him close. 

“We are so bad, we should be at the party,” she giggled against his succulent lips, sneaking her hands behind the nape of his neck to tug his ponytail loose. “People are gonna notice we’re not there. ‘Specially you, Mr. Tribal Chief.”

He pulled away long enough to huff, “Well, that's on you. You’re the one who kept rubbin’ on my dick the entire ride back here, making me so hard everyone woulda seen it.” Picking up the half-drunk bottle of Cristal next to her, he took a large gulp before handing it to her. “Gon’ be boring as shit anyway. Fuck the party,” he added.

“Nah, I’d rather fuck you,” she stated, making her intentions clear, loving the way his eyes blazed at her bold statement. 

“That’s my girl.” He showed his appreciation by tongue-kissing her slowly, coaxing her to follow his lead and match his energy. She wasn’t inexperienced at all, but each time they kissed, she felt like a virgin being taught for the very first time. Emboldened by the alcohol in her system and the passionate moment, her hips rocked back and forth, grinding against his prominent erection pressing between her parted thighs that his big hands caressed so lavishly, all while their mouths sought the depths of each other’s sensual taste. 

It took Cleo Parker-Jones just three months after her main roster call-up to get Roman Reigns in her bed. It probably would have been quicker if it wasn’t for his part-time schedule and her focusing on proving herself on the blue brand. Whenever he did show up to work, they did not get too many moments alone. But each time they did, they made the absolute most of it. Flirty banter. Suggestive winks. Subtle caresses as they grew closer. Soon, she was sneaking into his locker room or his bus for intense make-out sessions that left them both breathless and hungry for more. The sparks flew between them and it was only a matter of when and not if they would seal the deal.

Of course they did, and it was glorious. The man was blessed by the dick fairy and he backed it up with incredible, toe-curling bedroom skills that challenged even her own renowned stamina and athleticism. The not-so-amicable end of her last relationship had left Cleo lonely and horny, and she knew right after having her first taste of the Tribal Chief that she wouldn’t be able to leave him alone. Luckily, the feeling was mutual, as he kept coming back for more…and more…and more…

Fast forward a rollercoaster of a year and she was now Miss Money in the Bank, Smackdown’s fastest rising star at twenty-six years old…and Roman Reigns’ sugar baby. Of course, the perks were perking…Traveling in Business Class or in his own jet, designer outfits and accessories, late-night lobster dinners in restaurants shut down just for them, phone bill and house rent paid up, luxury hotel suites like the one they were currently in, enjoying a little after-party of their own after ghosting the one downstairs. But there was nowhere else she would rather be, especially since he would be gone in the morning while Cleo wrestled around the country, missing him something fierce. She never thought she would be in this kind of relationship, but this fun, adorable, generous, criminally sexy older guy had her wondering why she’d never considered it. He took care of her, pampered her, and satisfied her every need. He made her feel like a princess and that was all she’d ever wanted in a man.

She pushed him firmly to catch her breath, lightheaded from his delicious kisses, and licked her plump and swollen lips while staring up at him. Her fingers found the buttons on his dress shirt, slowly flicking each one open to expose his smooth, bronzed, tattooed chest inch by inch, noting the way he shivered as her short acrylic nails gently scraped his skin. She couldn’t help but grin at the sight of his open shirt and his hair loose and wavy; he strongly resembled those romance novel cover models from back in the day.

“Let me down so I can suck on my favorite lollipop,” she requested.

Without hesitation, Roman picked her up off the counter and brought her down to her feet before him. Lowering down to a squat, she backed him up against the counter and relieved him of his slacks with nimble hands. Her darkened eyes leered at his erection bulging impatiently through his Nike briefs, the front stained with his arousal for her. Her fingers peeled the elastic waistband down his muscled thighs, his long, hefty dick almost slapping her in the face when she set it free.

Roman’s breathing quickened as Cleo curled her fist around the throbbing length, squeezing out the bead of precum that clung to the tip. Their hazy gazes locked as her tongue darted out to catch it, licking the underside of his cock before guiding him between her lips, coaxing a deep sigh out of the Samoan.

“Unnnh, shit, Cleo,” Leaning back against the counter for balance, he nearly knocked over his iPhone in the process. Jerkily groping for the device, he picked it up, glanced between his Home Screen and Cleo’s bobbing head, and a naughty idea came to him. Tapping his thumb on the screen to find the camera, he couldn’t hold back his moan when her image materialized through the lens, making his dick disappear in her hot mouth like a magician.

"Smile for the camera, baby, I wanna remember this..." he said.

Her big brown eyes fluttered in his direction, and he tapped the button, the snap sound capturing the image of her pouty lips sealed tight around his dick forever. He firmly gripped the back of her head, struggling to take the picture three more times as she sucked him deeper and harder.

"You can just record it," she pulled him out to say.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “For real?” 

“Yeah. Have something to remember me by when you’re away from me.”

This was new. Sure, they’d exchanged dozens of nude selfies and some raunchy solo videos, but they were yet to put any of their sexscapades on film. His train of thought evaporated when a thick string of spit fell from her lips onto his milky brown length. His vision blurred as she then swallowed him up in one go, her sucking more audible from the gathering saliva, her hands twisting determinedly around his erection. As best as he could, he hurried to select the video setting on his phone and hit Record, his fingers digging into her scalp as the vibrations from her moans almost had his knees buckling. 

“Aw man, that mouth is fuckin' goated, princess,” he encouraged, raising his phone higher to get a better shot of her working him. He loved it when she got into it like this, so nasty and with so much passion and concentration. “This what you been waitin’ for all night, huh? This big dick deep down your throat?” he taunted.

Cleo blinked up at him with her long lashes, her naughty smile stretched by his girth. He looked so hot, bare-chested, staring down at her with his hair falling over his face. She could tell he was close already, the veins in his dick seemed to spring to life and thicken in her hand. With every suck, she made sure to moan around his big beautiful cock and let her tongue slurp all over it for extra stimulation. Her goal was to drain him, to wring him dry and make him lose his sanity. 

But not just yet.

Abruptly, she pulled away, sliding him out of her mouth with an audible pop as she said, “Okay, my feet hurt, I ain’t Megan Thee Stallion.” She raised her arms, gesturing for him to pull her back up.

Roman fought back a whine as his cock twitched pitifully from the sudden absence of her oral attention. Her annoyingly sexy smirk told him she was screwing with him again like she liked to, but he kept it to himself, inwardly promising to get his lick back. With shaking hands, he stopped filming and helped her stand up, watching her wobble a little in her high heels. 

Her lilac-colored nails wrapped around the neck of the Cristal bottle as she picked it up for a sip, and poked out her tongue to let the drink drip from it. It was bait, and Roman seized it with a needy growl, lapping up the alcohol with his tongue and making a messy transfer from her mouth onto his. God, he had the tastiest kisses, even coupled with the bittersweet flavor of champagne. When he pawed at the obscenely low neckline of her dress and his mouth latched on to her hardened, bare nipple, her heart thrummed excitedly in her chest as that familiar feeling of desire bloomed within her. 

“This dress is sexy as fuck, princess, but I want it off,” he demanded.

“You can take it off me, Daddy. Let’s go to the bathroom first. And bring your phone with you.” She took him by the hand and led him like a little boy across the large suite. Roman’s mouth watered as he watched her curvy hips sway from side to side as she walked. The things this girl did to him. It’s been a long time since he felt this way about any woman, since he’d been this happy and excited to be with someone. Initially, he felt like a dirty old man taking advantage of the beautiful, bright-eyed young starlet. But that reasoning was short-lived as Cleopatra proved from the jump to be more mature, more well-rounded and more in control than she liked to let on. He liked that a lot about his princess.

The backlit mirror in the fancy bathroom stretched over two sinks, the perfect backdrop for the sinfulness that was about to transpire. With a sultry smile, Cleo bent over one sink and pulled her dress up to her waist, exposing her black g-string nestled between her bountiful round globes. Using two fingers, she parted her folds and circled them gently over her labia, never taking her eyes off her big bad lover man, his phone recording her every move even though his eyes were glued to her soaking wet folds. With her slippery fingers, she rubbed her pussy before bringing them to her mouth to suck them like a pacifier, her moan low and sultry from her own taste.

"Mmm. Come closer, Daddy, I want you," she purred.

As he did, she took his phone and propped it up against the mirror in front of her, leaving the video running. His hulking form towered over her, his body molded into hers, his aching erection straining against her backside. His tongue darted out between his lips as his hands roamed her body. His expansive paws caressed her curves and the fleshy mounds of her ass, his thumb brushing over the phoenix tattoo just above her right buttock. Cleo loved that this Adonis of a man never seemed able to keep his hands off of her. Having done some work on her body, naturally and surgically, she hoped the change would take her places. Never did she think that said place would be in the arms of the face of the WWE. Her career progression, along with his constant attention, was validation that her investment was paying off.

"Look at the camera while I eat this pussy, baby," he instructed. He had the bottle of Cristal in his other hand, and he turned it over and poured the liquid all over her ass, drenching her already damp panties. She watched as he disappeared behind her, and a hiss slipped from her lips as she felt his mouth on her ass, kissing and biting softly. The feel of his long fingers squeezing her cheeks as he licked the champagne off her skin was incredible. He rolled her panties down to meet her stilettos and ran his hands up and down her smooth, toned legs, widening them to expose her wet, glistening pussy from behind. Her stomach fluttered and her loins clenched as he left a trail of big, wet kisses on her inner thighs.

"Your pussy is so pretty, baby girl. Just like you."

He started suckling her folds, using that godly tongue of his to split them apart and lap at her opening. The faster and deeper he moved his tongue, the louder Cleo moaned, all while doing her best to focus on the camera like he wanted. Fuck, his lips were so soft, his tongue warm and fat and heavenly as they worked together to devour her aching cunt.

The Tribal Chief reached around her front, slipping one hand between her thighs. Ignoring the throbbing of his cock reacting to her throaty moans, he pushed his middle fingers inside of her and pumped, reveling in the panting, whimpering mess he'd turned her into. She reached behind her to grab the back of his head, only for him to shove her hand away and slap her ass in warning. Cleo groaned loudly as his finger plunged deeper, nudging that sweet little spot that made her eyes roll back as the pressure built and built. She braced her hands on the sink and rode his face and fingers, grinding her hips until she couldn't anymore. She howled her pleasure as the orgasm quickly overtook her and she came in his mouth and all over his thick beard. The sensation so overwhelming that her legs nearly gave out where she stood.

"I need you to come like that on my dick," Roman murmured as he rose to his feet. Ridding himself of the rest of his clothes, he wrapped a steadying arm around her before guiding her face to his. She moaned as she tasted herself on his tongue, swiveling nastily with hers, devouring each other as though only the other could quench their thirst.

"I can't get enough of you, Cleopatra. Every time I think I'm satisfied, the hunger comes back stronger." He burrowed his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply, letting her flowery scent fill his lungs. "Everything about you makes me so hard. I need you, baby girl."

His voice and his words caressed her heated skin with the same devastating effect as his hands on her. Suddenly, her dress was too tight, too constricting, prompting her to pull it over her head with his help and throw it somewhere far away. She gasped as he immediately reached for her breasts, rolling their softness in his callused palms. Her gaze flickered from the mirror to the camera and back, catching his eye as he winked slyly at her.

She yelped a little as he smacked her hard on her behind, once on each cheek. His hand print seemingly seared into her ass, but she didn't dare say a word. As she waited for his next move, he stepped back, though she could still feel the mass of his thighs warming her backside. Suddenly, she heard the frantic, sticky sound of his hand jerking his dick. She almost melted at his expression through the mirror, his eyes clouded over, his beard glistening with her cum, his lips parted as he pleasured himself right in front of her, holding out on her. As "Sativa" played in the background, Cleo began to throb and pulsate, the anticipation getting her wetter by the second. The fact that he was making her wait sent her hormones into overdrive. Her honey dripped, rolling down her thighs.

When he was done, Roman grabbed the phone and held it right above her backside. His free hand rubbed all over her round ass before he grabbed his dick and spanked it on her ass, feeling harder and bigger than before on her skin. Reaching behind her, Cleo pulled her ass cheeks apart to help him sink inside her with one long thrust. He stroked inside her at a moderate pace, relishing in her sweet cream already streaking his dick. The mirror gave them the perfect view and eye contact. They could see each other's faces when their expressions changed, feel the shudder of their bodies when they moved and when they moaned with pleasure. Damn, what a beautiful sight, all captured on camera for their viewing pleasure.

"Ya know what? Throw that ass back for Daddy," Roman spoke roughly, his large hand clutching her waist and slowly rocking her back and forth on his cock, "This fat, sexy chocolate ass...fuck my dick with it..."

Planting her hands on the marble surface to steady herself, Cleo bit down on her lip as pushed back against him, pausing every couple of seconds to grind on him because he liked it when she did that. More heat bloomed within her loins at the satisfied groans falling from his lips, as he brought his hand down on her ass yet again. Moaning softly, she bounced faster against him, her pussy gripping him tight with each slide inside her. He felt so good, made her feel so full and so ready to explode again as her walls massaged his girth.

"Like that, baby? You want it like that, my Tribal Chief?" she spoke breathlessly, "That dick feels so good Daddy...Oooh sh-"

Roman had grabbed her left leg and lifted it onto the sink, opening her pussy up to him. He held her down and pounded her hard from behind with drunken, reckless abandon. It did something to his brain when Cleo idolized him with all these pet names; Daddy, baby, Tribal Chief; it boosted his ego and made his dick harder knowing that he was indeed in God mode. As her reward, he delivered heavy, grinding strokes right up against her g-spot that intensified her cries and had her gripping the marble surface for dear life.

"Talk to me, baby, tell me where I'm at?" he said, angling the camera to view her flushed face.

"In my stomach." She could barely speak or think straight or even stay upright, weakened from the mindblowing pleasure surging through her. She lay slumped on the sink, her eyes closed, her kiss-swollen lips parted as she enjoyed him inside her. He knew he was hitting her spot whenever her long eyelashes fluttered and her heavy breaths actually stopped for a couple of seconds, her mouth open in a silent cry. His hand then wound around her throat, yanking her body up from the sink and against him with her back to his chest. Twisting her chin towards him, he covered her mouth with a hot, sloppy kiss, coaxing her moans out of her throat and into his. Blindly putting the phone back down, his hips accelerated, drilling her pussy with added force, their slapping wet skin reverberating around the bathroom. His fingers slipped south to strum her clit, making her body tremble, on the verge of complete collapse as each wave of ecstasy grew more incredible than the last.

"D-Daddy...Roman, fuuuuck!" she stuttered, clawing helplessly at his arm around her neck, trapped between the hard surface and his hard strong grip, unable to do anything but endure the dizzying tandem offence of his cock and his hand inside her.

"I can feel you, baby, you 'bout to come, ain't cha?" he asked, a husky groan slipping from his lips as her pussy tightened around him. "Unnnh god, you feel so good. Come for me babe, I want your cum all over my dick."

Cleo's moans dissolved into broken whines as he kept pummeling into her, nudging her closer to the edge until there was no room left and she toppled over headfirst. Her body jerked once, freezing and then shaking as liquid gushed out of her and all over his and her thighs. The ecstasy was blinding, numbing with its sheer intensity. "Shiiiit!" she cried out.

"That's what I'm talkin' 'bout," Roman chuckled, letting her leg down and smacking her ass before spinning her around and lifting her to sit on the sink. His burly arms hooked beneath her knees, dragging her to the edge with his pelvis wedged against her clit. "Legs up, baby girl. Take the camera and watch Daddy fuck his pussy," he ordered.

Cleo licked her lips as she grabbed his phone, staring into the camera with unfocused eyes for a moment before directing it downwards to their naked, sweat-slick bodies. The Tribal Chief shuddered at the contrast of her pretty pink pussy against her russet skin. So fucking sexy. He rubbed his dick left and right like a windshield wiper over the fat, puffy pussy lips before patting her clit with it. "I'ma go nice and slow this time so you can feel all of me," he told her, groaning out loud as he slid in.

Chills ran down her spine as his magic dick stroked her right there, that lower sensitive part of her pussy that made potential orgasms creep in faster than usual. Roman knew exactly where that spot was, and he focused the pressure of his dick there, never stopping his onslaught.

"Shit...fuck that pussy, Daddy, fuck me, oooh yeahhh..." Cleo moaned, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of his dick beating her pussy up, testing the stretch of her walls. It felt so good that her grasp on his phone began to falter. Roman noticed, and he took it from her, extending his arm so that the camera caught the entirety of both their bodies, showing off his messy dick pumping in and out of her creamy pussy.

"Look at us, princess, look how good you take Daddy's big dick. Fuckin' beautiful," he said. She followed his gaze into the camera, honing in on his trademark smoldering lip curl that she always found so hot. Her pussy agreed, leaking just a little bit more for his benefit and hers.

With her arms braced behind her, her legs spread wide and looking right into the camera lens, Cleo watched her lover go to town on her, his dick finding the bottom of her pussy. His strong, toned hips bounced off hers, his increasingly ravenous strokes causing her walls to pulse around his girth. Searching desperately for something else to grab onto, she clutched the back of his neck and pulled his mouth down hard on hers. A clattering noise sounded, and she felt both his hands curl around her throat as he nipped at her lips, his tongue tangling with hers. When he pulled back, the light in his eyes was gone, completely blown with lust and need, and Cleo couldn't help but smile with pride. A warm thrill always rushed through her to see him like this; this huge, powerful, unflappable man losing all composure and control and losing himself in her and in the pleasure she was giving him. It was the biggest ego boost, probably a bigger achievement than anything she'd done in the ring, to know that no one else did this to him or made him feel like this.

Their foreheads pressed together, breathing each other's air while he rocked into her, his dick sliding in deeper with each roll of his hips. His phone lay unattended next to them, having dropped it in the heat of passion. Even as her climax loomed, Cleo still had the wherewithal to prop the phone back up against the wall facing them, not wanting to miss the money shot of their coupling.

"I'm 'bout to come, baby," Roman rasped, his movements intensifying.

"Me too, come in my pussy Daddy, come in me," she whimpered,  her belly warming with the molten heat of an impending explosion.

Her breathless mewls propelled the snapping of his hips, his growls more uninhibited and desperate as he held her legs tighter and fucked her like an animal. Her head banged back against the mirror and her body arched into his with a keening cry, her nails digging into his biceps as her arousal crescendoed and splintered her into a hundred pieces. It felt like the music was playing directly in her brain from how hard she was coming.

"Yeah, come all over me, fuck, Cleo, I love this pussy so much. Daddy 'bout to come so hard for you, ah, mmmhhh..."

The jolt of his big frame and the thick grunt that followed gave him away. His thrusts stopped, and he held himself still inside of her, his head thrown back while he came inside the warm tunnel of her pussy, making the sexiest noises as he lost himself to unbridled pleasure. Cleo moaned with him as her body jerked from the force of his pulsing cock filling her up with his seed. She grinned lazily into the lens knowing that the entire scene was captured perfectly. As he crumpled in her arms, she left a string of kisses along his cheek and his neck, holding him close in a sudden desperate need to crawl into his skin as they descended from the incredible high together.

After the world had quieted and the room had stopped spinning, he straightened his back, kissing her before he pulled his dick out, watching his cum ooze from her pussy. She reached down to spread her pussy lips open while he picked up his phone again to get a closeup of the creampie that he created.

"Feed me our cum, Daddy," Cleo begged with her soft spoken voice. She watched as he swiped two fingers inside her and held up their joined fluids to her lips. Her mouth eagerly weaved around the digits, sucking and licking up their cum juices thoroughly, making him moan at the sexy visual.

"I've trained you well, my baby girl. You like this freaky shit just as much as I do," he teased, kissing her again as his arms wrapped around her waist. This was probably the part Cleo liked the best; the quiet after the storm, the cuddles and sweet butterfly kisses; basking in the afterglow as her love for him continued to blossom and deepen.

"You okay?" he asked, massaging her back in soothing circles as he looked at her.

"Mmm-hmm," she sighed blissfully in response.

"Mmm, that shit was fire, baby. Damn. I know that video is gonna be a masterpiece when we look back at it."

Cleo giggled in agreement, cradling his face in her hands and smoothing her thumbs over his beard, watching him visibly relax from her delicate touch. "Send it to me. I plan on having a lot of fun with it when you're not around."

"Dirty girl," he replied playfully with another sweet kiss, leaning down to help her take off her shoes. "Speaking of, what's TV like for you on Friday? It's the run-in angle from Damage Ctrl, right?"

"Yep. I'm off all through next week to sell the beatdown. Why?"

"Perfect. I'm at my place in Palm Springs for a week. Come meet me there after the show. I'll send you your flight details. Gabriel will take you to the airport and I'll come get you when you touch down. Bring a couple of bikinis and dinner dresses. You need some money for those, babe?"

Shaking her head no, she smiled the sweetest smile and hugged him. He spoiled her so much. She still had to pinch herself sometimes that this was her life. "You take such good care of me, Daddy. I lo-...I appreciate you."

If he caught the near slip-up, he didn't show it. "I appreciate you too. You should know by now that I love spending my money on you and taking care of you. So your fine ass better get used to it if you ain't."

Get used to it. She couldn't help but let her imagination run amuck at those words. Was it possible that he saw something more concrete between them? After all, they pretty much acted like boyfriend and girlfriend and most of the roster knew they were a thing. Deep down she longed for confirmation, but she also didn't want to ruin their great dynamic by overcomplicating it with an "official" label.

"Question. That video is in safe hands, right?" she changed the subject, making Roman snicker at the tinge of trepidation in her voice.

"Relax. The security on my phone is double-cheeked up," he insisted.

"You sure? Cuz I'mma smash your phone to pieces if I have to," she warned. "My folks will kill me if that video ever leaked."

Her cute little threat had him chuckling. She was so adorable. "Easy, tiger. It's safe, for mine and your eyes only. I'd never do anything to embarrass my baby girl." He stroked her chin gently, his eyes soft and filled with a warm, tingling emotion that brewed inside him only for this beautiful, exciting woman and seemed to grow stronger every day. He knew what it was, and he secretly prayed that it was not one-sided.

Their lips met once more in a gentle, sensual kiss that neither of them wanted to end. The disappointment sinking inside Cleo when he pulled away quickly vanished as he picked her up and carried her towards the shower. Again, she let him take her wherever the hell he wanted to. As long as she got to be with her Daddy, it didn't matter where they went. Sooner or later, with the right timing and persuasion, she would finally gather the courage to tell him she was in love with him.

THE END

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[frozenjokes]

Put Me In Perspective, Or At Least In My Place (Another Retrospective On Aromantic Love)

“Above your head like this. Both hands, look at me. Both hands, Grian. It doesn’t take a lot of strength, just step forward and release around eye level.” Cleo demonstrated, holding the axe at the end of its handle and releasing the weapon. It flew in what had to be a perfect arc before burying itself in the wood, a bullseye of course. She threw the axe like she’d done it a thousand times, and honestly, she probably had.

“Don’t people throw them with one hand, too?”

“Yes. It’s just harder. Try this first.”

Grian pursed his lips, stepping forward, throwing, then squeaking when the axe bounced terrifyingly off the wood, hitting the wall before rolling and bumping the curb that separated the stall and his feet. Ah. That was frightening.

“Nearly took out our ankles there,” Cleo said, not sounding all too concerned.”

“It- Can it bounce over that?”

“Not easily. But not uncommonly either. Try not to do that.” Cleo strode forward, plucking the axe off the ground and handing it to Grian. “Don’t throw it while I’m in there.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Maybe you won’t, but some people need to be told,” Cleo grunted, ripping the axe she’d thrown from the wall and spinning it thoughtlessly in her hand before burying it in the stump that split their twin alleys. “Try again. Keep your wrists straighter, release at eye level.”

Grian shifted his weight, frowning, “Surely you brought me here to talk about something else other than axe throwing. ‘Cancel your plans, I’m picking you up,’ is an extremely ominous message to receive from a stranger at 8:00 at night. How did you get my number again?”

“Pearl. And we aren’t strangers, we’ve met at least once at that big friend get-together thing, you know. That awful pizza place? Regardless, I’m friends with runners, so force is necessary 90% of the time. If you want to skip to the talking, we can talk, but I don’t know if you want to hear what I have to say.”

“I probably don’t.”

“Then start throwing and I’ll do the work. You’ll get it to stick, just give her a few tries.”

“You seem to have a lot of faith in me.”

“Everyone gets it eventually.” Cleo looked relaxed, unconcerned, and Grian tried to match the energy, but he couldn’t quite shake his anxiety. Well. He was here, so he might as well make the most of it.

It took six more tries before he got an axe to stick. Wow that was satisfying- but the air seemed a little too heavy to celebrate more than Cleo’s tasteful clapping. Maybe he should come back here with Pearl and Impulse.. Jimmy maybe? He’d kill to see Jimmy try this actually, even if he’d likely crush Grian in the end. When Grian went to collect the two axes from the stall, Cleo finally spoke.

“I’d like to know what’s going on between you and Scar. Properly. It’s been a particularly shitty week for our friend group and Scar’s been in a foul mood for more reason than one, so we haven’t talked. And I’m not just here to interrogate you about Scar either, I’d really like to know what’s going through your head as well. Have you seen each other this week? Have you talked at all?” Cleo was firm, but nothing about their voice was hostile. There was a worried longing there, the kind of urging that came from a deep concern for a good friend.

Grian took a deep breath. “Not much. I saw him a couple days ago when I was getting lunch with Pearl at the zoo. He only texted me one other time to tell me he wouldn’t be.. we have this mutual place we hang out, and he just told me he wouldn’t be around this week. Too much going on. I’m really sorry about Etho by the way, I hope you guys find him.”

“Thank you. Bdubs got in contact with him yesterday, so we know he’s alright. We still don’t know where he is or when he’s coming home, but from what I’ve heard, he’s keeping frequent contact. Hasn’t called me or Scar, but that’s typical. With any luck he’ll be back safely soon. That’s what Etho said anyway. Still all sorts of concerning, but we’ll take what we can get.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.” Grian tried not to be hurt that Scar hadn’t updated him, but failed miserably despite the fact it probably wasn’t any of his business. He just would’ve liked to know, that’s all.

“It is. So how did that clusterfuck of a night happen between you and Scar? How did that start?”

“Oh,” Grian mumbled, fidgeting with the axe still in his hands. Cleo took the other from the stump, throwing it almost lazily, like the question didn’t matter to her much at all. Grian decided to do the same, focusing on the secondary activity instead. “Well.. he invited me over. That was a couple hours after our first spat, and I was still feeling weird about it all. Wasn’t well.”

“I figured. He reached out to you first?”

“Yeah. We weren’t supposed to do anything though, just.. get it out of our systems. I was so mad at him- I’m still so angry, and not even for any reason in particular. I’m just mad.”

“Then how’d you end up in his bed?”

“Oh. I kissed him. He was pissing me off.”

“Right.”

Grian scoffed, snagging his axe off the floor of the alley after a failed throw. “How did you think this all went down? He told you the jist, basically. Not nicely, but he told you.”

Cleo shrugged. “I just wanted to know a few more details. Place my judgment a bit more accurately. From where I’m standing, you’re both idiots self destructing in the dumbest way possible. I would like it very much if this didn’t happen again, not only because it’s bad for both of you, but quite frankly, it’s embarrassing.”

“You’re entitled to your opinion.”

“Come on.”

Grian curled his lip. “Listen, I don’t understand why it’s such a huge problem for Scar and I to work out our differences with a little violence. We're consenting adults and the sex was kinda nuts, so if we’re both having fun there’s no issue. In any case, I’m pretty sure this is solving all of our problems.”

“Oh? Do explain.”

Grian rolled his shoulders, throwing his axe and getting it to stick for the second time, “We’re just letting off steam, Cleo. Two months of awkward tension does a lot to a man, it does a lot, nothing good. This is like a shortcut to the whole ‘tiMe hEaLs aLL’ bullshit, we’re like- getting it out of our system.”

“Uh huh. And this is going to resolve your unrequited feelings for Scar how..?”

“I’m getting it out of my system, Cleo.”

“Ah, so having really good sex with a man who isn’t looking for the same things in a relationship as you is going to fix you.”

“You got it.”

“That’s the dumbest load of horseshit I’ve ever heard.” For the first time, Cleo’s axe bounced off the board. She strode to pick it up wordlessly.

“Alright.” Grian landed another axe, just inches from the bullseye.

“Grian,” Cleo sighed harshly, and Grian avoided her eye, uninterested in her scrutiny, “Listen. As dysfunctional as the both of you two are, I don’t actually believe this couldn’t work. You two have been as thick as thieves for ages, and as much as you’re scrapping now, I don’t think that’s indicative of how you actually feel about each other. You’re just hurt people hurting each other, and you don’t have to be. For goodness’s sake, Scar would have been happy to be in some sort of relationship with you, he just didn’t want to lose you altogether. Somewhere I think that got lost in translation.”

“Scar doesn’t want to date me. He only offered to appease me, it was as obvious as anything.”

“I don’t doubt there’s truth to that. He doesn’t do well under the pressure of a love confession, and that’s no one’s fault. But his feelings on romance are a lot more complicated than ‘wanting’ or ‘not wanting.’ You did the right thing to refuse him, Grian, he wasn’t ready. But I think it’s worth talking to him again. Laying everything out on the table. And I can’t speak for what Scar wants, his brain is a mess of tangled wires and sparks, but he’s obviously had plenty of time to think about this, and he might surprise you. If there’s one thing I do know about Scar, it’s that he loves to give things like this a try. And I mean that. He does love it.”

“But Scar won’t love me. Not like I want to love him.”

Cleo hummed, thoughtful as they considered the ceiling, “You know, I don’t know if that’s true.”

Grian huffed, “Unless I’m misunderstanding what ‘aromantic’ means, I don’t see what you mean.”

Cleo shrugged. “Scar loves everyone in big sweeping gestures. That doesn’t change from person to person, whether they’re family, close friends, lovers.. it doesn’t change. But there are still levels, right? There’s still loyalty. You’re thinking of Scar as loving you like a friend, but I think that’s the wrong approach. Making that distinction makes it seem like his love would be less intense, like he wouldn’t still give you everything he has. Try.. a scale, 1 through 10, maybe. For you, you’re looking to give Scar your 10 on the scale, right? A 9 or 10, whatever it is, that’s the kind of love you want to give, the kind of love you’re looking to receive. In Scar’s brain, he’s been giving you that 10 for months, and if you asked to spend the rest of your life with him, he’d probably go ahead and accept without hesitation. That’s just how he feels about the people he’s close with.”

Grian didn’t speak, still working out how to process those words, but Cleo did not mind continuing in his absence. “If you’re worried about not being #1, then I’m afraid you’re fighting a losing battle, friend. With anyone. You’re contending with mothers, brothers, sisters, friends that go back to high school, grade school, diapers. Being intimate doesn’t outweigh those bonds, not for most people. And this isn’t to say that a relationship with Scar would be exactly the same as it would be with anyone else, it won’t, and if you’re the type of guy that gets insecure when your partner is physically friendly with other people, then forget it, but in my truest of hearts, if you’re looking for someone to love, I believe Scar would be more than good for you. He would treat you well,” Cleo paused, thoughtful before continuing, “And honestly, things literally can not get any messier between you two. There are zero stakes to giving this a shot. You’ll either feel a lot better about yourselves or you’ll go your separate ways, both of which are a huge improvement to whatever the fuck is happening between you two now. Maybe you’ll even stay friends after talking all this shit out. Who knows.”

Grian returned his axe to the stump, needing to sit down. To think. He was quiet for a long time just sitting there, the only sound being the bustle of other customers and Cleo’s own axe hitting its mark time and time again.

“You really think he’d want to give it a shot?”

Cleo shrugged and shook her head noncommittally, “Who knows. But it wouldn’t surprise me. So long as you two actually talk this all out, I think anything could happen. And Christ, if you two decide to get together and still want to ‘fall down the stairs’ then have nasty sex afterward, that’s your prerogative, but for crissakes, at least wear some sort of padding or a helmet or something, don’t actually kill each other.”

Well. He had gotten Scar that helmet, hadn’t he.

“I’ll think about it,” Grian mumbled, eyes lidded. And he was. He was thinking quite hard about it.

[rosegoldenatlas]

They're siblings, your honor

All of the hermits are one great big psychotic family. Here are the roles of the ones I know enough to point out properly and even reasoning. Might make this a foster au BTW.

Xisuma is the father, obviously. But like he's the kind of dad that works night shift just to see his kids more often. He's the kind of dad that adopts kids by pure accident. He's the dad that is always there to give advice and definitely got half of those tips from the internet and the other half from personal experience.

Doc is the eldest child, he was adopted by X because one day he just fucking appeared with his three friends at X's house (its basically a mansion because of how much space he needs to keep all of these kids in check) trying to steal food and supplies. He got caught because he hit his head on a doorframe an it woke up X lol. Doc would be like 17 in the au and he would immediately find a reason to not like Grian.

Beef is one of the people who arrived with Doc, he is on month younger than him and he's the reason X let them stay he night because he immediately invoked pity.

Etho also arrived with Doc, he is two months younger than him and he was supposed to be the only one going in to steal because he knew how to be sneaky but he had no conception of what was needed to survive on the streets so the rest had to join him.

Bdubs was the final person who arrived with Doc and he is a year younger than he rest of the NHO (he came up with the name in the au) Bdubs and Doc have this weird sibling rivalry where they'll have a huge argument over something important then Bdubs will ask for a ride two minutes later and suddenly all is well with the world.

Grian is classic middle child vibes except he's the kind of middle child that causes so many issues that he actually gets attention constantly. When Doc arrived (Grian was adopted a year before Doc was) he immediately accidentally broke Doc's robotics project he had been working on since before they met. Immediately he realized he effed up while Scar was only scared because Grian was. Grian is like 15 btw

Scar is three weeks younger than Grian and he is the kid who always gets in trouble for the most obscure things in school. Like comes home early cause he was suspended for creating a pyramid scheme for monster energy drinks kind of obscure. Also he has scammed most of his adoptive siblings out of their allowances.

Cub is Scars twin in this, he helped with all of the scams and pyramid schemes. But he never gets caught. Nobody knows how but he never got into trouble in school even though he sold pens that had test answers written on a piece of paper in them.

Cleo is 17 in this, she is the on who is put in charge of the house when X is gone because the NHO was deemed irresponsible after the incident which ended with Grian, Scar and Mumbo locked in a closet with the NHO taunting them through the door. Cleo is the only child who owns a car and the one who is consistently begged to drive people places. She has since used this to her advantage and now has the others pay by the mile.

Ren is younger than Cleo but is older than Mumbo, he apparently knew Doc before they were adopted and was adopted first. Ren is the classic theatre kid and does drama after school every Wednesday and Friday. One time he was supposed to watch the younger kids because X was at work, Cleo was shopping and the NHO group was doing stuff. This ended with X coming back to Ren about to be sent to exile (the yard) because he had crowned himself as king of the house and the TV remote was his magic scepter and he wouldn't let anyone else switch the channel.

Mumbo is a year younger than Ren and he used to be considered the most mature, for all of five minutes until he started doing things, these include; making a custom lock on his door out of rubber bands and twine which proceeded to somehow work two whole times before it ripped the doorknob out of the door, making a semi sentient robot out of an old furby and a gameboy, naming it Grumbot then adopting it with Grian, and then accidentally setting his curtains on fire while he was testing a homemade microwave because he wants one in his room but couldn't afford to buy one.

Pearl is the same age as Grian in this, she is labeled the demon child by every other sibling except for Gem and Cleo but she embraces the title. She is called this because she is known to bring dangerous animals into the house and her room is half full of terrariums and tanks of animals. She has brought in multiple spiders and snakes from outside and kept them as pets, she also has a running joke of taping objects to the ceiling so they're upside down. Her biggest prank was attaching everything in grians room to the ceiling including his bed and nobody except Doc, Cleo and Pearl herself know how it happened.

Joel is somewhere between Grians age and Bdubs' age. He is known for getting caught while pranking people in the house consistently. Which is a good thing because most of his pranks will end in something catching fire. He has started multiple cults and has convinced people to give him money to 'support the religion' He makes way too much money from it because he has multiple siblings convinced that the made up gods are real. He uses this money to buy insane amounts of Lego's to build with. He shares them sometimes. He also has a girlfriend at his school (Lizzie) and also whatever odd thing with his friend (Sausage bc c!Joel is probs poly) whom he has 'joint custody' over a small child they babysit sometimes.

That's all of the hermits in the au, here is all of their age in order of oldest to youngest ig

Xisuma (32)

Doc (18)

Beef (18)

Etho (18)

Cleo (17)

Bdubs (17)

Ren (17)

Joel (16)

Mumbo (16)

Grian (15)

Pearl (15)

Cub (14)

Scar (14)

And here is the order in which they were adopted;

Cleo & Ren

[Two months later]

Grian & Scar

[One week later]

Cub

[Three months later]

Pearl

[Two and a half weeks later]

Mumbo

[The next day]

Joel

[Seven months later]

Doc, Beef, Etho & Bdubs

Here is how/ why they were adopted.

Cleo and Ren were both originally foster kids and X was fostering them. They were about to age out of the system and be forced to live without any real help so X offered to adopt them.

Grian and Scar were runaways from their sucky homes and survived on the streets for a total of three days before X found them while he was at a picnic with Cleo and Ren. He took them in pretty quick.

Cub was actually Scars friend from school who tutored him sometimes, while staying over for dinner one night X asked about his home life. Cub explained that he had been emancipated and lived on his own. X offered to let Cub stay for a bit and Cub never really left.

Pearl just appeared in X's yard one day trying to catch a frog who had hopped into it. X was trying to find out where her parents were and she just sat there very confused on the concept of a parent and she claimed she had just appeared in existence one day. X was going to put her in the foster system but decided to just adopt her.

Mumbo was a kid up for adoption that Grian knew and Grian spent about three weeks convincing X to adopt him before X finally agreed.

Joel was found injured am knocked out in the forest one day and a pink haired girl (Lizzie) carried him over to the first safe looking house and knocked on the door. She was let in until Joel woke up, Joel said he was from space and X had decided that wasn't the weirdest story he's been told and yoinked him. X was close to adopting Lizzie until he found out Lizzie already had parents.

Doc, Beef, Etho and Bdubs were lab escapees who were apparently tested on in a shut down lab a few towns over. They had been living on the streets for a few months before they were caught trying to steal from Xisumas kitchen at five in the morning. They were adopted instantly.

Should I write this as a multi POV book of one shots from the same universe and put it on ao3? This is an idea just now occurring to me.

[rinsoap]

˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big seijoh four's status!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : oikawa tooru. iwaizumi hajime. matsukawa issei. hanamaki takahiro.

note : random headcanons lol. it was really fun so i may do this with kuroo, kenma, akaashi, and bokuto if i'm feelin crazy. BTW, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE LATE TEENS-EARLY TWENTIES SO KEEP THAT IN MIND WHEN READING!

OIKAWA TOORU:

favourite song/artist/album: he's been super obsessed with 360 by charli xcx him n electronic pop are like this 🤞 he loves likes his rnb girlies so of course kali uchis is his favourite he knows all the lyrics to fue mejor and he doesn't even know spanish! the SZA version of course!!! bc his favourite album is ctrl by SZA the superior sza album

favourite movie/show: he likes psychological horror or classic 2000s romcoms so probably midsommar or 10 things i hate about you. look me in the eye and tell me he isn't a gleek. you can't.

favourite colour: dark blue. he thinks he looks the best in it he would be right

favourite subject/grades: math. he's lowkey good at it? his grades are pretty solid but his fatal flaw is that he gets bored easily unless it's something that really interests him or if it's something he's good at.

tattoos (yes/no): NOT REALLY! him and iwaizumi plan on getting matching tattoos. probably a little doodle of something knight related. he doesn't really want a lot of tattoos other than that.

piercings: he wants a nose ring but he's scaredddd omg. for his eighteenth birthday, iwa n mattsun n makki dragged him to the piercing shop to get it pierced bc he would not shut the fuck up about it 😭

celebrity crush: it changes all the time. he's in lovee with pinkpantheress rn. and also christian bale specifically his velvet goldmine premier look..... god he's so fucking fine sorry im projecting

IWAIZUMI HAJIME:

favourite song/artist/album: he's a casual neosoul enjoyer of course he grew up on it the filipinos love their neosoul n jazz so his favourite song since BIRTH has been on & on by erykah badu. it's between that and sometimes. he was GEEKED to know erykah was on a tyler, the creator song bc that is his favouritee artist real ones know he put suna on it's hard for him to name his favourite album that isn't by tyler but if he had to he would choose channel orange by frank ocean.

favourite movie/show: godzilla. nuff said. he's kind of a jojo's bizarre adventure fan. ok he's actually a huge jojo's fan he just likes to LIE and say he's just a "casual" enjoyer.

favourite colour: green or brown.

favourite subject/grades: literature/academia/history. he's really interested in reading but he can't stand writing essays. his grades are good, everyone thinks he's naturally smart but he did pretty awfully in elementary school until he got his act together lol.

tattoos (yes/no): YES kind of. matching tattoos with oikawa of course. i bet he's got a couple precolonial filipino tribal tattoos too lord he's so fine but other than that, i don't think he's a big fan of tattoos unless they're not very visible at first glance.

piercings: he's got a gold nose stud that he got drunk with mattsun one night and he lowkey regrets it until someone compliments him on it then his confidence is through the roof for the rest of the day

celebrity crush: steve lacy..... he doesn't know if he wants him or wants to be him. OH AND CLEO SOL. she is so beautiful and he is obsessed with her energy.

MATSUKAWA ISSEI:

favourite song/artist/album: he's a slut so his favourite song is probably dreams, fairytales, fantasies by A$AP ferg.... don't shoot the messenger! you cannot convince me that he isn't a crazy frank ocean dick rider. "what do y'all know about frank ocean" is his favourite phrase. he's been in his top artist for spotify wrapped since novacane came out. his favourite album is probably WASTELAND by brent faiyaz because yes i still do believe he is a brent stan.

favourite movie/show: all four of them are really into the spiderverse just ask him where he was when the into the spiderverse release date was announced. his favourite show would probablyyyy be death note he wants to fuck ryuk

favourite colour: pink, purple, and probably some obscure shit like amaranth.

favourite subject/grades: any weird extracurricular that doesn't require a lot of academic knowledge like jewlery making or somethin. it's not that he hates school exactlyyyyy, it's that he finds it soo boring. he has never studied for anything in his life but somehow, his grades haven't gone to shit yet, IN FACT, his grades are pretty good like Bs at worst. the whole team hates him for this.

tattoos (yes/no): YES. he had a tattoo phase for a brief period and he BEGGED all his friends to let him practice like he would PAY some of them. he didn't want to practice on himself at first because his pain tolerence is surprisingly low but hanamaki and oikawa pleaded him to stop being such a pussy because they didn't want anymore shaky ignorant tattoos lol. his phase fizzled out for a little bit and people are shocked that he has this skill because he's not a tattoo artist?? it boosts his ego lol

piercings: he's planning on getting a tongue piercing (and bringing hanamaki too so he can get the vertical eyebrow piercing he's been wanting for a while)

celebrity crush: like i said, he's a slut, so he has a handful... brent faiyaz, alexa demie, dominic fike, jhené aiko, summer walker.... and i get him!!

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO:

favourite song/artist/album: this mf will listen to anything tbh but he's a fan of alternative bedroom indie music like wallows, rex orange county, and tame impala, so his favourite song is can i call you tonight? by dayglow. but we all know at his CORE, he is a barb... he loves nicki minaj him and oikawa were SO invested in the nicki/meg beef. speaking of, oikawa put him on so much electronic so now his favourite album is CAPRISONGS by fka twigs.

favourite movie/show: him n mattsun watch superbad RELIGIOUSLY do Not talk to meeeee. he will admit fully with his chest that total drama island is 100% his favourite.

favourite colour: pink obviously. sometimes he says vermillion for literally no other reason other than it sounds fancy. he doesn't even know what it looks like 😭

favourite subject/grades: he does not like school so he doesn't have a favourite subject.... he sits in the back on his phone mostly and copies off of iwaizumi and mattsun. oikawa Refuses to let him copy off him because he is STINGY and iwaizumi only does because hanamaki's grades are kind of abysmal 🙏

tattoos (yes/no): definitely. he has some ignorant patchwork on his upper arm and a couple of his thigh, a product of mattsun's tattoo phase. he likes em a lot but he only ever gets them when intoxicated tbh. he almost got a tramp stamp once but iwaizumi finally talked him out of it after an hour of protest. it was oikawa's idea of course.

piercings: LOOK AT HIS FACE AND THEN LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND THEN TELL ME HE WOULDN'T HAVE A SEPTUM. he's been thinking about getting a vertical eyebrow piercing but he's worried it will heal bad.

celebrity crush: his thoughts that are not about dylan minette are about kali uchis. need i say more.

[hatopixlriffs]

This week, on CHC:

Flowers, trees, and dragons, Oh My!

Welcome to the CHC recap, my name is Pixlriffs, our writer is ZloyXP, our physical copies printed by Lyarrah. So much has happened in the past week and a half since the last recap, so without further ado:

Let's take a look at all the events and mishaps that occurred on Camp Hermitcraft, this week!

Starting with @gem-the-oracle, who caught a nasty bug, and spent most of the week ill in the Big House. Being the Oracle of Delphi of course, absolutely nothing could go wrong! Besides, it couldn't be weirder than her vision of purple flowers that were quickly identified as Hyacinths, the same kind of flower plaguing every Apollo kid and especially Apollo himself! This spirals into madness as @sungod7-fuckyoupearl starts getting texts from none other than Daphne, known to her account name @notoriginallyatreenypmh and the sun god as "The One Who Got Away". Apollo quickly undergoes the five stages of grief as he realizes this isn't a prank and @boatboynr1- who was turned into a cat by Apollo literally ten minutes prior- berates him with yowls.

Oh, and Apollo's dead boyfriend Hyacinthus seems to have been the one sending all the flowers. How @hyancithus is doing this beats all reason as he is stuck as a Hyacinth flower and can only communicate in 🪻 emojis. Daphne claims he's able to channel energy through her and the phone she stole but refuses to elaborate further. After a minor breakdown, Apollo teleports Daphne and Hya from their temporary prison of Italy to Camp Hermitcraft, where Daphne takes her axe- also stolen- and takes a breather in the camp lake. Apollo's hands are full as he does his best to take care of his dead boyfriend, whom is still stuck as a flower. A similar rescue mission is still ongoing, as @askhermesgrian, @camphermithater, and Joel have left on a quest to go retrieve @pearl-likes-hunting from some myserious woods. All at the request of @shutupapolloplease, of course.

And what do you know, a third retrieval is also ongoing! @hatotangoftek's metal dragon, Fotia, is loose in NYC and he scrambles to get her back before he ends up in more trouble than he already is.

@undead-daughter-of-heb attempts to help Tango, but not before blacking out and waking up hours later, with the Hebe cabin rearranged, nice notes everywhere, and people claiming that Gem had briefly possessed her. The strangeness doesn't end there, as she finds and almost adopts a stray cat in camp, before eventually realizing it was @askxisumachc who'd gotten cursed while shifted and couldn't change back. Cleo takes X to Camp Jupiter, where @lovemushroomsandflowers successfully returns him to human form. Ignoring the purring, cat tail, and cat ears that stayed behind, of course. And according to Scott, Xisuma also seems to have retained cat-like attributes, such as the innate need to chase a laser pointer.

(click for better size- couldn't enlarge it w/o crunchiness) Unluckily for Scott, or maybe luckily for X, @goldenqueenfalse ended up putting him in the hospital before he could test catnip on the acting camp director. This does mean that the fashion show, which most demigods have agreed to simply call "Prom", will be delayed some time, which is fine as some campers have yet to pick out outfits.

Some campers may need to re-choose outfits after ending up back as adults, as Cleo has figured out how to control her powers! Yay for Cleo!

Chaos isn't the only thing going on, as @asktheshreeper and @boatboynr2 spend the week hanging out and even make some shopping plans!

@askscarpjo makes head bead bracelets :)

@hatorendiggitydog also wants head bead bracelets. He then proceeds to dream about Tartarus and acts like thats normal. Etho is not convinced.

@askhatoskizz is not immune to his dad's dead boyfriend and after receiving Hyacinths, decides to do something else. He decides to take @erempulse to a musical and manages to get tickets from Apollo before the whole shrubbery shenanigans (see: above) go down.

@spoonsandmustaches spends his free time playing tech support for @hato-grumbot (ooc- run by the creator of the au himself: @ahllohehn).

@askhatokeralis spends the week running camp in Xisuma's absence. He's doing fantastic.

And finally there's @askluckskall, who's been contemplating his gender identity and is seeking help from Cleo. As of writing this, we have yet to see where this is headed.

AND that's about it for this weeks recap, our writer is ZloyXP, and my name is Pixlriff, physical copies printed by Lyarrah. Don't forget to leave a like while you're here, and follow so you don't miss future recaps. Thanks for reading, and we'll see you next week.

[theminecraftbee]

alright, so I’m gonna pass out and PROBABLY be asleep for when the vote rolls over unless I set an alarm. so, let me make one last propaganda post, this time of a different ilk!

hi, I have heard the campaigning or seen his posts and am curious. who’s joe hills and how do I watch him?

hi and welcome! whether you be an ally or an enemy or anything else, I hope you stick around after the voting is done! joe hills is a very cool guy and I hope you like watching him. he’s one of the hermitcraft creators, described as the “original new guy”, as he was the first new hermit added in season one. he’s been here for that decade since! joe was added to be a “wild card” and plays that role well, often having a reputation for doing weird things. when it comes to his in-game build style, he’s a big fan of scale models of things, as well as helping out on any and all community projects!

joe’s hermitcraft videos tend to be much lower-key than some of the others, normally with minimal-to-no music. they’re largely recorded on stream, though they’re edited in such a way that they don’t feel like stream clips, but more like “he uses his stream to film video clips”. he enjoys wordplay, intentionally taking storylines and ideas in unintended directions, and marching to the beat of his own drum. if you’re used to the pacing of people like grian (or, for that matter, a dsmp stream), joe’s style can take time to get used to, but if you miss the lower-key days of let’s plays, he’s a great option for exactly that!

this season, he’s making a giant model pinball machine for his megabase! it has pixel art of the jwst deep field on it, and will have scale recreations of pinball parts inside. he also participated in the king ren storyline, has built elvira’s house of horrors (and changed the landscaping to match the seasons twice), and participated in the crossover! give it a shot!

joe streams five nights a week, with his days off being tuesday and wednesday. his usual stream start time is 9:30 PM EST. however, he usually has an afternoon hhh bonus stream on mondays (around 2 EST), a morning crafting stream on wednesdays with cleo (around 9:30 AM EST), and recently, a thursday morning bonus stream with his sister, quinn hills, a musician (also around 9:30 AM EST). he also does other bonus streams depending on the day and his energy. as you may be able to see from this schedule, he’s streaming like, all the time, so feel free to stop in! he streams simultaneously on twitch and youtube, so choose whichever platform is easiest.

joe hills streams are of basically whatever he needs to do on hermitcraft; they can best be described as “hermitcraft behind the scenes”. they’re also weird but in a specific, ritualistic way. his face camera will get bigger and more transparent for every 20 dollars in tips. the first time this happens it can be disconcerting but you do adjust pretty quickly, and it’s part of the charm to me! additionally, he has specific songs he plays during his streams, from the album he and his sibling made! they’re often parody songs, but there are also several original ones, and they’re all original lyrics and recordings. you’ll hear “lay your head down and dream” specifically after the first two songs while he’s setting up; that’s effectively his nightly stream’s theme song. you’ll also hear the songs during hydration breaks.

if anything you’ve seen us say about joe intrigues you, I strongly recommend you give him a shot! I’d recommend either a nightly stream to get the sense of the “average joe hills content”, if you’re considering becoming a regular, or to check out his first episode from this season to get a good sense of what a joe hills episode looks like.

we’d love to have you around, whether you did the right thing and VOTE JOE HILLS or not! but, uh, still vote for him. for me, okay?

[kaihuntrr]

The Sea Prince: The ‘Red King’, Noblemen, and Hunters.

After exactly 3 months(?) of posting the first batch of designs, I’m finally able to send the second batch! TIES and their lore would be last, since they aren’t hunters- it feels right to finish up the Canaries, especially with the prologue coming out soon.

Closeups and lore under the cut as always, hope you enjoy!

They were so much fun to design! I wanted to reference other smps they were involved in, and try to make them stand out! While I am taking from Pirates SMP as inspiration, Cleo and Scar’s designs come from my interpretations before Pirates came out <3

Let’s start out from the individuals!

‘The Nobles’, children from high places.

A fun fact about all of them is that they come from relatively rich families! Be it in how they dress or act, they have a sense of formality. It was also a way to ‘separate’ them from the other hunters since they weren’t in the latest series :D

‘Ren Dogwarts.’

The suave and charming former leader of the Kestrels, Ren’s heart is as golden as the jewelry he wears. He claims to be related to the King, and dubs himself as the ‘Red King’ to take down the sea monsters in his name. He loves his crew, and loved Martyn much more. His feelings begin to waver when the blonde’s loyalty changes. He knew Martyn loved his former crew, but… their relationship tensed as the fateful day arrived. Now that he’s dead, Martyn’s heart is pained with guilt.

The red coat he wears is a supposed gift from the King, the hat and feather a gift from the Kestrels. The tie he wore is similar to the bandana Martyn wears, as if it were the same item.

‘Mumbo Jumbo.’

A nobleman and childhood friend of Grian’s, he spends his time researching about the different monsters they come across and report his findings to the Doctor, the royal inventor. He is very analytical, coming up with theories for certain creature behaviors and is very much not a fighter compared to other hunters. Due to his connection to Doc and his time in the military, the crew found themselves personally hired by the King.

He has a telescope he keeps with him at all times. It was a gift from Jimmy. Mumbo used to joke about throwing it away, but it’s the most precious item he owns.

‘Lizzie Shadow.’

The inheritor of her parents’ pearl industry, she’s taking her time away from all of that to be with the Canaries. It’s not that she wants to run away from her responsibilities- but she’d rather face her fears of the ocean and truly conquering it before coming home. She acts as a pseudo captain to the crew, and is grateful for all the support she’s been given.

She wears a coat similar to Grian and Joel, and is decorated in pearls. She wears her engagement ring with pride, and ties some of her hair up in a braided hair tie. She taught Jimmy how to make those when he was younger.

‘Clockers’, the hunter-born.

Found family! All of their parents died when they were tweens, so they stuck by each other ever since. They’re a little chaotic, but they have essential roles in the crew.

‘Cleo Zombie.’

Level-headed and headstrong, they’re the stable wall in the Canaries. She uses her previous naval experience as an advantage against the vicious sea monsters. She feels linked to Martyn, being someone to ground him in his messy thoughts, but her focus is on Scar and Bdubs. Those two always get into trouble, and there are times she’d want to join in on the fun.

Her scars are stitched and healing, and she has a Heron necklace from her time in the group. She has a big pocket watch she keeps on her at all times, tied to string on her waist.

‘Scar Goodtimes.’

Living life to the fullest means you have to be ready to face the consequences head on. Nicknamed for the many scars on his body, the man embraces it all with a smile and a hunger for more. Nothing keeps him down, and with his boundless energy, nothing ever will. He keeps the morale high and uplifts anyone in times of need, but even he was distraught when the third captain died.

He wears a bandana as a gift from Cleo and a big pocket watch as a gift from Bdubs. He wears a small parrot feather earring from Grian, and sometimes absentmindedly stares at it with a sense of longing.

‘Bdubs.’

The feistiest of the Canaries since Jimmy, he has a bit of a rebellious streak. Either by sneaking out to meet with Impulse, or coming up with outlandish ideas, he’s a bit unhinged but his heart is in the right place. He’s brave and tough, but sometimes he worries he isn’t doing enough. Whatever- if his crew appreciates him for who he is, that’s enough.

He, like Cleo and Scar, has a big pocket watch he keeps on his belt. He has a knife at the ready and a sword necklace he got as a gift from Impulse. He treasures it dearly.

-

Everyone has their place in the crew, and together they are the Canaries. Favored by the King and thrusted upon the opportunity of a lifetime, their only goal now is to show they can do the task given despite how crazy it sounds.

They’re determined to give it all.

But what will happen if their target was right in front of them all this time? Will they ever see him the same way again?

Or were they nothing but playthings?

The prologue, ‘Hide & Seek’, is coming soon. Ready or not, here they come.

[thynisia-pac-readings]

[PAC - Your first date together. Please do not copy or repost any part of the reading.]

There are 4 piles. This a general, collective reading as usual, take what resonates, this is for fun! Regardless of the banner, it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship - it could be friends or relatives.

This extensive reading includes sub-questions, signs and quotes! I also read possible things about you and about them, because why not! You can take it as further confirmation that it's your pile. XD

Take a slow breath, clear your mind and intuitively pick an image or number (you can ask your higher self and your spirit guides to help you choose it).

---

Pile 1

Signs:

It's 1:11PM I'm not even joking, number 8, relating to each other, reciprocated feelings, sudden confession and realising it's reciprocated, February, Lewis

No way I just got a poem on reciprocity by Cleo Wade!!! Two messages on that; for some it's reciprocated, for others don't waste time on someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings!

United States, North America, Mexico, area between North and South America.

Astrological placements: Moon domiant, Cancer, Jupiter dominant, Sagittarius, Pisces, Moon conjunct Jupiter. Virgo rising, Gemini rising, Mercury in Aries, Mercury in Capricorn.

Possible things about you:

Life path 7, deep thinker, big on self-improvement and self-reflection. Maybe you're into manifestation as well. You might be very pretty according to societal standards, or you like to take care of yourself and your appearance. I think you're someone very kind and caring to others too. Do you do the same for yourself? Such an empathetic soul. You're a gift on Earth my love, know that.

Maybe you want to fly away, you want some freedom and get away somewhere far, but for some reason you've got to stay where you are. It's alright, all in due time.

Some of you may like Aphrodite or Venus, or you're in that phase of your life that she rules over, such as beauty, goddess energy, sacredness, femininity, etc.

Some of you may want to be a mother really bad, you want your own baby, you love children. A small minority of you could have a child already, but some may get pregnant/be a new father in the near future. :)

Possible things about them: 2 groups came up so you may intuitively pick 1 or 2, or both!

group 1:

they're the ones who feel the same about you haha!

they may also want a child or want their own baby, that's so sweet Pile 1. very caring individuals too and maybe that's something you relate on between each other.

they may feel like you uplift them whenever you speak or are physically with them. I feel like whenever you're around, they don't have these dark thoughts anymore. Maybe you ease their anxiety naturally, without even trying. I feel like they really feel comfortable and safe with you, and whatever the future holds, they hope that you don't let go of them. Actually, they wish to not let go of you. They don't want to. They see you with such respect and admiration, they really love you in that sense. It's not just infatuation or attachment, they love your traits/character.

their love language could be gift giving or handwritten notes.

group 2:

wow, we've got an ambitious and hard working person here. very powerful and independent. wants to rise to the top, they want to be successful and go higher. they want to excel at what they do, career wise or romance. it's like Suga singing "I wanna big house, big car, big ring" (something like that lol). great at multitasking and overseeing plans, but they could tend to be a bit controlling as a result. like their work mindset spills over in the personal life and relationships. it is not very bad though, but they may not realise. For some of them, if you tell them honestly that they're being a bit controlling or disrespectful in certain ways, they will feel bad and apologise and try to correct their attitude. They're not a bad person, they want to do their best so much that they are less self aware.

Your first date together:

How - probably not in the most romantic way? whatever is going to lead to that first date is not peaceful. maybe some misunderstanding or friction has to happen for you two to take that step forward.

Where - somewhere dry or far from water. Or there's not much around, far from the city. i.e. you might go hiking with them for the first date...are y'all dating a German? LMAO. On a more serious note, if you're a woman don't go on first dates where there's literally no one around. Safety first.

What - again could be hiking, rock climbing, risky/outdoorsy activities, dates in nature...

Quote:

"Friendship is a sheltering tree" (Cornwall, L., 2015)

"When we focus solely on validation from the outside world, we end up being very easily controlled by circumstance, but when we remain humble and firmly rooted in our ever-present goodness, we can celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our disappointments without letting them be the things that define us" (Wade, C., 2018)

That's it Pile 1, I really enjoyed reading for you. Remember this is a collective reading, so take what resonates only.

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Pile 2

Hi Pile 2! This is my creative pile <3

Signs:

November, teenager, architecture, museum, fashion lover, gossiping together or telling each other the crispy stuff, someone with a loyal character, someone looking after a garden or wanting to have one - maybe likes flowers.

Being a romantic, someone wants to be in love, someone has Venus in Pisces, someone thinks about love or their crush.

Be careful of trains.

Someone is going through an experience which pushes them to find their inner strength and resolve, which increases their self-confidence.

Venus trine Saturn, Venus in the 8th house.

Hawaii, Japan, Africa/South Africa cities, East China cities, South Korea, your person can be from Argentina

Possible things about you:

Pile 2, I'm getting some of you like gardening and drawing. In particular, you might like bees and are a strong supporter of saving our bees. You might have a green hand. Not even a green thumb, the whole hand lol! Some of you might have had past lives as nature spirits like faes, you might have an affinity with them or have them as spirit guides.

Some of you might know a lot about nature in general or you might even know a lot about indigenous flora and fauna, or specific species of plants. Some of you may have seen orbs of faeries outside...

Possible things about them:

I think the person you're thinking about likes fashion, or for some they might relate to you regarding nature/gardening. They might have fine features or seem delicate and gentle. It feels like looking at ice in their eyes, but it is so gentle. It is reflected in their personality as well. Very kind and calm. Number 33 on the card is jumping out to me, so you might see this number as well.

Ok definitely they are into fashion. For some, this is someone older than you. For others, your person is definitely more mature than their actual age. Like, very very mature and wise. It doesn't feel like it comes from difficult experiences, it feels like they didn't have as much of a difficult upbringing. Maybe they were naturally this way, and good parenting may have helped.

Side note, they could be a bit dreamy.

I don't usually get the past lives card but here it is, so this friend could be from a past life. Or, I'm getting they might remember theirs.

First date together:

They might tell you straight up that they want to go on a date with you. They might text you or ask you face-to-face. You guys have a good connection, very in synch. You two might be very vocal on your date, as in talking a lot and expressing yourself.

Some people in Pile 2 might go karaoke or sing at some point while you have fun together.

Some of you might actually have a unique date where you dress up, put on makeup, get all pretty and fun i.e. cosplay! You might take photos or film your date, you're going to be out there! Ooh lala so fancy! xD

It feels like it's your usual hangout as friends but somehow it's also different, closer and it's getting more realll. I.e. you might get more touchy-touchy this time, they might hold your waist or your hand, or they might kiss your cheek by surprise... Aw this is cute xD

Quotes:

"the time has always been now"

"I will not be a victim"

"you are going to be okay"

"the timing is always right to love someone"

(Wade, C., 2018)

That's it Pile 2, I wish you the best 🤗. Remember this is a collective reading, so take what resonates only.

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Pile 3

Hi Pile 3! What an interesting and sweet pile.

Signs:

November, strong friendship bond that was made naturally, finding your tribe, realising your own value and worth, sticking with your real friends, be grateful for the loving people and goodness in your life.

Neptune in Taurus, Gemini Rising.

Australia, Sydney/Canberra, Pacific Islands, Samoa, Mongolia, Kazakhstan, Russia.

Possible things about you:

You are very shy, secretive, and value personal space and privacy very much.

Some of you like to read physical books.

I'm seeing of you are teenagers, younger girls.

You are a good listener and confident, people always trust you to keep their secrets, and you will not even tell your best friend or your dog a word of it.

You keep many parts of yourself hidden, for example you are secretly very nurturing and creative. You might like little children.

Possible things about them:

I'm seeing yellow and a ball, so I feel like they really like children.

They are also like a big ray of sunlight. They are that person that illuminates the room as soon as they walk in.

They are very honest and open, and perhaps you like that about them.

They are also very warm and compassionate. They bring people in and make sure not to leave out anyone. Never puts themselves above anyone else and aways try to harmonise everyone.

Like you, they dislike discord. You just have a different way to deal with peace/discord and people. But they like your own way of being and they don't want you to change.

Your first date together:

Interestingly enough, I feel like some of you might have your first date with children around, maybe looking after some, i.e. their little cousins or siblings.

Some you might go fishing and/or have a picnic outside.

During this date, they will absolutely love how you don't hide any part of yourself, you're just being yourself and expressing yourself without restriction. You'll come out of your shell because you'll be influence by him, by the children, and you'll be super comfortable overall. You might actually have lots of fun. Scenario example of the date could be that you, them and their little cousins all go fishing, and then you have your picnic nearby; you have fun all day.

I feel like you and your date are seemingly opposite but actually very similar within. You just express yourself differently and process things differently. You might even be a ENFP/INFP or ENFJ/INFJ duo.

Quotes:

"Shepherd-like compassion means considering the benefit of the masses first, so that we place others first and 'I' last". (Yuthok, L. C., 2005)

Aw that's it Pile 3. Thank you for reading. As always, this is a collective reading so take only what resonates and the general ideas with you.

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

---

Pile 4

Signs:

October, fake friend, chasing after someone's love - love is to be received, not chased after, someone wise and mature, compassionate, someone who likes include everyone and whose motto is "we're all in this together"

Someone here has to let go of someone that does not deserve them.

Someone here could receive a letter from the person they are thinking of in this PAC.

Someone's person for this PAC is a romantic relationship and it could be very passionate.

Mars in Scorpio, Mercury square Neptune, Mercury square Pluto, Jupiter in 10th, Jupiter in 12th

Sudan, South Pacific, NZ, Hawaii, Cuba

Possible things about you:

You could be very emotional and sometimes letting emotions get to you, and it might be hard for you to be more in control. I feel like you guys might sometimes let your emotions get the better of you or affect situations you're in. And then you suffer the consequences. I.e. getting overly angry and saying things you regret later, or getting upset, crying, and not being able to react properly and also regretting later on.

I sense some of you are super generous, but you're so kind and compassionate that some people take advantage of you. I feel like a minority of this group are super kind-hearted and never see the worst in people; you never expect people to lie or have bad intentions - or you could be neurodivergent and just not realise it. I'm feeling upset for you 😭

Actually, if you're neurodivergent, it would make sense why it's hard for you to manage your emotions sometimes.

Some of you could have been having a hard time taking care of yourself and organising things ahead, almost feeling like a ghost or a shell. You're especially lacking self-care and that's been taking a toll on you. I also sense that it's causing you to feel disconnected from yourself. You could be trying to desperately hold on to yourself.

Overall, Pile 4, you're very wise and mature, very compassionate and you have strong values. You do not tolerate lying or deceiving, unfairness and similar unacceptable behaviours.

Some of you like to bring people together, others like things to be peaceful in a social context even if you're not the social butterfly.

Possible things about them:

I'm getting that they are someone really smart and intelligent in that they are very creative. They like to create and build things. They are innovative. However, they are possibly channeling this energy in the wrong place or activity and it's wasted. Their confidence and self-esteem is affected as a result.

They're very optimistic and positive so once they regain their spirit, they will get a breakthrough.

Might have a very messy mind, octopus mind, or hyperactive mind

Head in the clouds type of person, they don't mean to ignore you Pile 4. That's also how they get all their cool ideas and solutions

Some of you may have manifested them

The smoke in the card is calling at me so perhaps someone will understand bc I don't lol

I think they could also be someone who values justice and fairness, as well as respect in general

Your first date together:

Honestly all I'm seeing is you might spend your first at home with this person, or at least most of you will

Super chill, relaxed, comfy. Doesn't look like you'll be doing much or do anything that requires much effort.

Could be something simple like playing video games at home while eating snacks, but it's just you and them in the house.

I think part of the reason is because there's not much else to do? Maybe you live in a boring area for your age range.

They might gift you something speciallll. Maybe a birthday present. Or a handwritten letter, like I mentioned in the signs part at the beginning.

Honestly I'm just seeing this date is something pure, just nice and you guys are super kind and have a great time with each other.

Quotes:

"Love yourself enough to tell the truth." (Wade, C., 2018)

If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR

"Often we don't want to act as though we did something beneficial all by ourselves; rather, we feel a need to acknowledge the help of others." (Yuthok, L. C., 2005)

That's it beautiful Pile 4, thanks for reading and I hope you had fun reading this PAC. Let me know your thoughts!

-

-

-

Hi! Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed! I quite enjoyed this Pick-a-Pile. I also tried a new format, so that the post is shorter and hopefully easier to read. Let me know if you prefer the paragraphs though 😂

I might do a Past Life PAC next! I want to do something original, so the format could be different again 👀

Enjoy your date! 💕

[cherrifire]

okay but whats the prelude to hit the diamond like howd they get to that poing :o :?

In my head, what happens is there's a big fight between Rainbow Obsidian (Dogwarts fusion) and another giant fusion (maybe Crastle like Bdubs+Cleo+Tango+Impulse).

The fusion fight ends with both giant fusions breaking apart exhausted. It's where Dogwarts fails a little. Because when the big fusions break, everyone involved is exhausted. Meaning desert duo + flower husbands can step in to pop and bubble the fallen gems. So Skizz, Etho, and BigB are all bubbled, barley being able to put up much of a fight.

But Ren and Martyn are able to gather up enough energy to run to each other and fuse. Meaning Synthetic Red Diamond has entered the fight. And they're STRONG. Emeralds on their own are extremely powerful, but adding this Ruby's determination and hunger to win means their power increased by an ungodly level. Not to mention this is an unbelievably stable fusion. They're so devoted to each other that it's unbeatable.

And at this point, Red Diamond has been around A LOT. They've been inseparable for a long time and everyone is tired of this guy showing up. If they don't do anything to fight him off then Red Diamond will shatter them all. But the Crastle members are EXHAUSTED from fighting off Rainbow Obsidian. So it's up to flower husbands and desert duo to fight them.

Enter their four gem fusion, Opal!

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

pirates smp morality tier list based vaguely on canon and partially on vibes, 2024/04/23

as per usual, this is about the cubitos and not the real-life people

[link to tier list, 6 late additions were manually added]

Characters in each tier are listed based on alphabetical order of preferred names

Level 1: No one is on Level 1 / purely white morality because that's kind of hard to achieve at all, and especially not on the high seas.

Level 2:

Cleo: Doesn't partake in enough lore to do anything bad, one of the few consistent characters who actually didn't kill anyone.

Graecie: Trying so hard to hold it all together, may have had her fair share of interpersonal conflicts but generally plays a voice of reason.

Jojo: Probably one of the most emotionally stable people on the Isles, and tries to sympathize with others for the most part. Can't blame her for making incorrect inferences based on limited information.

Will: Had the potential of dropping lower according to data from the writer's room, but in canon? Not really, actions were all perfectly understandable and reasonable in accordance with present knowledge, just… the idealistic approach did NOT work out. (Nor would the cynical approach, according to the writer's room; my guy's just doomed by the narrative either way.)

Level 3:

Eloise: Mostly just living her life; points deducted for the occasional bounty.

Michela: Releasing the Corruption did seem like a bad idea… at the time. In hindsight, it was the right decision to make, but in the moment… IDK, this one is just vibes.

Ros: Generally just a nice and sweet person; points deducted for the Sabertooth ordeal, but in her defense, there was blackmail and threats involved. Points also deducted for verbally endorsing Sausage's more questionable ideas and suggestions. Based on vibes.

Scott: Didn't exactly do anything wrong; points deducted for occasional pettiness. Again, a vibes judgement.

Water: Again, just living her life and being mostly nice; points deducted for occasional mishaps like being Eloise's bounty accomplice.

Level 4:

Acho: Mainly just here for being way too Byronic for stars own good. And also the self-destructiveness and sunk cost fallacy ordeal towards the end. But mostly vibes.

Aimsey: Points deducted for the pride/thinking oneself invincible (to be quickly proven wrong) and dishonesty, but let's be real: they're mostly nice, and that's pretty good by our standards.

Kyle: I've either heard through the grapevine or vaguely recall that his character arc was going to go in a much darker direction, but didn't have time to play it out, so this is my compromise. Also, it would be funny to put him in the same level as p!Acho.

Seapeekay: Live fast, die young, but essentially did nothing particularly bad.

Level 5:

Apo: Essentially written to be True Neutral to be dragged in opposing directions, and out of respect for canon, he's smack in the middle of the scale.

Bek: Has jerkish moments but is willing to do the right thing. It's mostly just the mercenary business and all that.

Eret: Mostly keeps to themself and just cares about themself. The worst thing they actually did in canon was the bounty. Big True *Chaotic Neutral vibes.

Guqqie: The classism is what puts her as far down as here. Otherwise, she's capable of being nice, she's just… not usually nice, you know?

Oli: On the self-serving side and just wants to go home to his family and make big bucks and all. Points deducted for capitalism.

Owen: Big carpe diem energy and only really cares for himself, might need therapy to unpack all that but that would be anachronistic.

Sausage: Again, it's the joke-classism and the trolling. Capable of being nice and does care about people around him, but still has a jerkish streak. Technically dips down to Level 8 for a bit towards the end, but in his defense, he was possessed at the time and fighting it.

Level 6:

Kuervo: Only ranked this far down for the mass murder. The fact it was tyrannicide is pretty much the only thing that keeps him from dropping to a lower level. Otherwise, probably a 4, but by that point, he wouldn't be here at all.

Scar: May have questionably left his old crew to die to save himself. Whether he actually killed them himself is never confirmed. Scamming leaves him in this tier. Didn't stick around for long enough to confirm or deny this level.

Tubbo: Here for the casual non-canonical murders and theft and vandalism and all that. Didn't stick around for long enough for further judgement, but from the ~2 weeks he was here, this is what leaves him at.

Level 7:

Shep: This man's moral compass is not pointing north!! Let's check off the canonical murder and voluntary manslaughter first! But then he's also capable of being nice to some people and he doesn't exactly take pleasure in hurting others or go out of his way to do so, so… compared to, say, his mentor, he's already somewhat decent.

Level 8:

Martyn: Being from the Datastream means he's playing 4-D chess with the world but I am not excusing his tomfoolery, especially since he is having a hard time comprehending that HIS ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES on the world! The whole Blondbeard arc. Just… that. And also how he acts towards p!Ros in canon is just plain mean… laughing about wanting to see her cry as her castle gets burnt and bombed to its foundations is… ARGH. THIS MAN. HE IS SO CLOSE TO CROSSING THE LINE.

Levels 9 and 10: Special spot reserved for Iris and co. for crossing the Line.

Everyone else: Didn't stick around for long enough, but I can vaguely clear a few off or speculate:

Olive: Definitely below a 5; probably 2–3 based on their one (1) stream.

Shelby: Maybe Level 5 for being kind of a rude snob, but didn't stick around to complete her Alexis Rose arc, so I'd say there is potential for her to be Level 4 (or lower), but we don't know with what our information is.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Skizzekai Au- Character and Group Summary

Very long summary post! This contains information on every single hermit, established group, and major plot event. Summaries are below the cut.

KINGDOMS AND GROUPS

Skizz's Adventuring Party

Team ZITS! Skizz, our main hero, quickly found allies in the other three. Tango was his first ally, and Zedaph joined up because of his alchemy skills. The alliance was a bit strained after Zed brought Skizz back from death and gave him some difficult and annoying tasks to do, but now they're closer than ever. Impulse came to join them after hearing rumours of the new hero. Grian and Mumbo are not formal party members, but show up to help from time to time.

ConVex Travelling Merchants

Scar, Cub, and False roam throughout the kingdoms, selling wares and taking both money and names! They also may be a little bit possessed. Neutral forces, both helping and messing with Skizz, they're in this mainly for fun and profit.

Lore Kingdom

Ruled by Joel, this kingdom has a heavy concentration of magic affecting fate and stories. A group of seers called the Watchers were the ones who made the hero's prophecy, forseeing Skizz would be needed- and so Joel summoned him to this world. Naturally, they've been on his side the whole time.

Ice Kingdom

A harsh and frosty place ruled by Queen Stress- and one of the first places hit by the great evil, slowly draining the magic and life of the citizens. Thankfully Iskall, the queen's bodyguard, seems to have some sort of protective aura, keeping the palace and those nearby safe. The native iskallium crystals, capable of pulling energy from the environment and turning it into pure magic stored within, might be one reason this kingdom was targeted so quickly. They also cause the eternal winter of the kingdom, drawing in heat. Ice Kingdom artificers are known for the incredible magitech iskallium can be used in.

Undead Republic

Formerly a kingdom ruled by Ren, after the crown passed on to Cleo she declared the place a republic. The votes that followed landed her in charge anyways, with Ren as second in command. All sorts of undead live here, including the half-ghost Joe and the drowned Gem. The kingdom is currently dealing with an infestation of strange blue lichen underground. It's sensitive to sound and seems to be able to infect people into monstrous and deadly creatures.

Evil Empire

Lead by Evil X, this is the big bad of our story. The citizens here are mainly demons, using magic drawn from risk, danger and gambles, often used to form contracts. EX himself has found a way to drain magic from the world into himself, stealing it from the environment and the people. He uses this to gain power, create loyal constructs that take the shape of other people throughout the world, and also to power a really good hot tub. Unfortunately for him, dissent grows in his citizens, and at least one- Impulse- betrayed EX's side completely.

Jungle Guardians

Deep in a sprawling, deadly jungle, four hermits make their homes. Acting as guardians, they help adventurers safely pass through. Their forms are created from the environment around them, with Bdubs being all plant, and Etho having a metallic shell around his leafy center. Doc likes to change things up, constantly adding and replacing new parts. Beef is as of yet undetermined.

Pirates

There exists a kingdom that is not quite a kingdom, oceans ruled by whichever captain, warlord, or general scoundrel happens to be most listened to at the moment. False used to be one of them, leading a crew of harpies. She still visits from time to time. Wels used to be part of her crew as well. Xisuma also joined a crew of pirates once, thinking the flag meant they had bones to spare. He was wrong, but they let him tag along anyways.

HERMITS

(alphabetical order)

Bdubs

Species: Jungle Construct

Bdubs is made entirely of leaves, moss, and vines. He is NOT small, thank you very much, he is above average for his species. Along with the rest of the NHO, he protects the jungle he calls home. Has powerful plant magic. If provoked too far, may unleash a terrifyingly powerful aura.

Beef

Species: Undetermined

Protects the jungle with the rest of the NHO. Seems to be a perfectly normal, if slightly creepy, farmer.

Cleo

Species: Zombie, previously Fae

Prime Minister of the Undead Republic. Cleo leads her people well, and is currently fighting against the sculk infesting the tunnels. Has an army of constructs and puppets, but is willing to hire adventurers to help out. Friends with Joe and Ren.

Cub

Species: Fae (Sculk?)

After a deal with the Vex leaving him slightly possessed, Cub runs a traveling shop full of magical wares with Scar and False. Unknown to them, he had an interest in the other, nonmagical world. One thing lead to another, and he managed to build a functional portal, only to find that the sculk living in the cracks between dimensions followed him back. It's starting to take over him, slowly but surely.

Doc

Species: Undetermined/Varies, presumably Jungle Construct

Protects the jungle with the rest of the NHO. Constantly changing his form, adding new traits and replacing old ones. Also has the ability to grow to kaiju size. Made a portal to the human world with Etho, just to see if they could.

Etho

Species: Jungle Construct

Despite being of a normally short species, Etho is seven feet tall. This may be due to the fact he has formed a metallic shell around his plantlike inner body. Not quite in control of his aura, which is constantly projecting a slight threatening feel. Made a portal to the human world with Doc just to see if they could.

Evil X

Species: Nothingness

The ultimate villain of the story. EX has been draining the magic of the world, trying to maintain his form with stolen power, as well as just for fun and to make himself stronger. Maybe take over the world while he's at it. Rules his own kingdom, and created the Hels Hermits with stolen magic. He's created a fake prophecy to justify his rise to greatness. A tiny bit of magic is used to power his hot tub, which is filled with water from a magic spring and actually helps all the stolen magic cohere. Since the magic he's stealing is helping form his body, EX's appearance is constantly shifting based on where he most recently took from.

False

Species: Harpy

Used to lead a crew of pirates, but after a deal with the Vex she had to leave. Now travels with Cub and Scar, although she does meet up with her old crew sometimes. Recently, shes taken to hunting down Skizz, due to the bounty put on his head... if only her companions were more helpful.

Gem

Species: Drowned, previously Human

Skizz isn't the only hero of prophecy this world has seen. Gem was summoned for the same reason, not too long ago. She used to have angelic, feathered wings, and wield powerful light magic. Unfortunately... she failed.

She was struck down, and the ocean saved her, by changing her into a Drowned. Undead, adapted to life underwater, and with the wings she used to have only broken scraps on her back. Now, her light magic burns her. She can't use it. But she was still working on saving the world! It's moved on. It's replaced her. So she sets a bounty out on Skizz, to teach him what happens if he fails too.

Grian

Species: ????? Entity???

Grian is... strange. He appears different to everyone, seeming like one species or another, with the only constant being that he is known to be powerful. In truth, he's simply not able to be understood- a being sewn into the very fabric of the world, deeper than anyone else, perhaps made entirely of pure magic. He used to be a member of the Watchers, getting thrown out of the group because blowing things up is "distracting" and "makes it hard to see the future". He still knows a few tricks though, such as being able to recognize if you've been a subject of prophecy. He also likes fishing.

Hypno

Species: Human

Changelings are a rare thing in this world, a few sneaky fae slipping between dimensions to swap out their children. Hypno is one of those humans who got taken. His fae "family" had plans, ones that relied upon the human ability to adapt to magic so easily. They kept him away from any strong sources of magic... until it was time. That night, when the plan was pulled off and Hypno felt the magic moving inside him and trying to twist him and feeling so very wrong wrong wrong, was the night he ran away. He never wanted this. Was he just some kind of tool or exotic pet to them? He just wanted to stay human.

The deal EX offered him was almost too good to be true. A simple watch, capable of absorbing the magic that would otherwise be mutating him. He could feel at home in his own skin. And the payment? Just the magic the watch stole. Basically free! So what if it worked a little too well, slowly draining the magic around him if he stayed in one place too long? He can keep moving. It's fine. It's better than not working well enough. He needs to stay himself.

Impulse

Species: Demon

A former citizen of the Evil Empire. Having grown up under EX's rule, living and working there his entire life, he had doubts but didn't think he could make a difference. Maybe the prophecy could save them if he held on long enough.

He saw Gem try, and fail, and lost hope entirely. So he kept his head down, worked hard, got promotions, did what he needed to survive. If the chosen one couldn't win, what chance did he have?

Until he heard the rumors of a new hero, of them gathering an army and growing stronger. He left, joined up with Skizz, and has become a great ally and friend. Shame that his old coworkers think he's a spy for them now. Hopefully his new friends don't believe it.

Iskall

Species: Undetermined

A citizen of the Ice Kingdom, and Stress's bodyguard. His original name was lost in a bet a while back, but Stress only uses it for silly pranks, and he likes Iskall better anyways. Has a strange aura full of magic and life, working as an energy source, and protecting the area around him from the draining darkness.

Jevin

Species: Slime

He is a slime guy who does slime magic. Likes hanging out with Hypno, and doesn't understand why the guy doesn't want to be magic. It's fun. In fact, Jevin is made almost entirely of magic, which.... may be a bad thing if he's going to spend so much time around Hypno.

Joe Hills

Species: Half-Ghost, previously Human

He may be a citizen of the Undead Republic now, but Joe will always introduce himself as being from Nashville, Tennessee. He did use to live there! Ended up in Hermiton after Doc and Etho made a portal and found him. Thinking it was a scam, really he should have just left, but he was curious.

Joel

Species: Minor God

He wasn't always godly. Due to the kingdom he rules being so full of lore magic, the belief and opinions of his people had a strong effect on him. Originally an ogre, he's gone through quite. a few transformations, and finally settled on aacending to godhood. As a god, he can look however he wants, although a ogre-like form is still most comfortable. A really tall and handsome ogre, though.

Keralis

Species: Unicorn

He's a unicorn. And a menace. He's got an ego, only uses his magic when he wants to, and claims he can see the value of souls. Keeps calling XB the princess of the lake.

Mumbo

Species: Weakened God

Mumbo used to be the god of the night and all its creatures, until Grian accidentally stole half his power. That power was, again accidentally, used to create the species of vampires, which Mumbo now greatly resembles, right down to his ability to turn into a bat. Grian still feels bad about it. As for Mumbo himself, he turns up to help the heroes now and again, and may or may not follow them around in bat form.

Pearl

Species: Fae (Mothlike)

Pearl was once the queen of her own kingdom. It was a wonderful place, known for nature magic helping them grow anything. When a talking dog came asking to be her advisor, she made the decision to accept its offer. From its advice, her decisions got more and more cruel, her powers stronger, and the hound grew into a beast. The queen corrupted, and so did the magic.

But one day, it all got too much. Pearl realized what she had done, slew the beast, and exiled herself. Her powers faded, she keeps her head down. Now she just tries to live her life and have fun, doing her job delivering mail.

Ren

Species: Werewolf, previously Fae

Him and Cleo were friends since childhood. Even when she got zombified and he got bitten by a werewolf, they never gave up on each other, and even bonded over it. They formed their kingdom together, and these days Ren is second in command of the Undead Republic. They're still very close.

Scar

Species: Fae

A wizard who made a deal with the Vex, and now travels around selling enchanted wares with Cub and False. Jellie is his familiar. Took Skizz's name at one point, but gave it back after Skizz found Jellie, who had been missing. He also keeps letting Skizz go whenever False captures him, for various reasons each sillier than the last.

Skizz

Species: who knows at this point, previously Human

Main character. Was summoned from Earth to defeat a great evil and save the world. Joel didn't quite explain how, so he's just doing his best. Currently, he's going around to different kingdoms, trying to get them on his side.

When he was summoned, he was still wearing his suit he had put on for work. It didn't take long to annoy a wizard, who cursed him so that he can't wear sleeves. The sleeves of his suit then proceeded to explode. Thankfully, the rest of the suit picked up durability magic somewhere.

A more important magical item is his necklace. It was made as a sort of battery for mages, charging up and storing ambient magic. When full, it bleeds off excess energy by sending it into the wearer, which normally results in boosted magic. Unfortunately, it is currently on a human, who has no magic of his own.

The result of this has changed Skizz, attuning him to the world's magic, and causing dragonfly wings to sprout from his back. He can feel the faint electric-current buzz of magic in his chest and at his fingertips. He's become able to learn and use the magic known by his friends, channeling their power through him.

Skizz's life on Earth was not a good one. It was boring, monotonous, and stressful. Wake up, work, go home, sleep. Is there any wonder he prefers this fantastical world over it? When everything is over, he chooses to make his home in Hermiton, with his new friends.

Stress

Species: Fae

Queen of the Ice Kingdom. Has Iskall's name, but only uses it to be silly.

Tango

Species: Undetermined, presumably Fire Something

Tango has strong fire magic, but it's hard to control- it's tied to his emotions, flaring up with anger or fear. He has to keep calm to properly control it. A side effect of this magic is that he has a prehensile tail made of fire. It also reacts to emotions, but in a much more harmless way, perking up when he's curious and wagging when happy. He doesn't use his fire much, preferring to rely on a deck of magical cards, each with a different effect.

TFC

Species: Unknown

TFC likes to mine. He spends his time in tunnels underground, mining in many different caverns. Nobody is quite sure what species he is. Dwarf, goblin, fae, and construct have all been theories, but none turned out to be right. The one time Skizz encountered him, he simply gave him the gem he'd been looking for. After all, why not help out? He doesn't have the energy for nonsense anyways.

Wels

Species: Selkie

A former member of False's pirate crew. Wels is proficient in bard magic, weaving power into voice and song, and he's also good with a sword. Most of the time, he wears his sealskin as a cape, appearing human. He has a second set of armour that fits his seal form so he can kick ass underwater.

XB

Species: Water Spirit

Lives in a lake fed by a magical spring. This is, in fact, the place EX got his hot tub water from. XB is not happy about this. Leave his lake alone!

Xisuma

Species: Nothingness (+Bones)

A puddle of nothingness that learned to sustain himself and build a solid body from bones! He finds them delicious. At one point, he joined a pirate crew because he thought the skull and crossbones flag meant they had bones to eat. They didn't, but they were nice and let him stay. Over time, he found a way to grow his own bones, poking out of the nothingness that is him. It doesn't even hurt to pull them out.

Zedaph

Species: Undetermined

Originally, Zed was just a normal alchemist, with a little reality distortion magic. Somehow, he happened upon the secret to immortality. There was not supposed to be a secret to immortality. Death didn't make it possible. When Zed did it, Death Himself showed up, extremely confused. He took Zed on as an apprentice to try and figure out how that even happened, and hasn't succeeded yet.

As Death's apprentice, Zed has the ability to bring people back to life- not even undeath, just straight up life. He has a rather terrifying reputation, but he's friendly, if a lot weird, and prone to making those he revives do silly and almost impossible tasks for him. For fun, of course. Revived Tango at one point, and accepted a card full of luck magic as payment.

Hels Hermits

Species: Various, may or may not be the same as their original due to the different types of magic used in their creation

These are constructs, people formed and brought to life from the magic EX stole. They work as his underlings, endlessly loyal and just as evil as he is. Notable members include Helsknight, EX's personal guard, Badtimes, a diplomat, and True, a spymaster.

PLOT IDEAS

- Skizz, after being summoned, ventures around the land collecting allies and getting the help of various kingdoms

- At some point, ZITS raid EX's palace, presumably to try and defeat him

- During the final battle, Skizz manages to channel the light magic Gem still holds deep inside

- After his journey is complete, Skizz is sent back to earth... only to find he no longer feels like he belongs there. Using the last bit of magic stored in his necklace, he contacts the Hermits, and asks to be summoned back home.

- In exchange, Hypno is sent to live on earth, after a bit of preparation from the former humans. He no longer has to worry about magic changing him, and now he can make new friends, without having to keep distant to avoid draining them.

[poisonheartfrog]

Here's my piece for the Limited Life edition of @trafficzine, about Pearl, Big B, and Grian dying outside the border in the finale:

The rules of the game can’t be broken, but they can be bent. 

That’s what brings Pearl, Big B, and Grian to a barren hilltop in the middle of the night as Grian explains his trick for getting across the world border. 

Pearl is exhausted after their many trips up to, down from, and across Skynet, and she can tell her allies feel the same. They’re all covered in dirt, blood, and scrapes. Big B is restless, constantly checking over his shoulder and shifting his weight from foot to foot. Seeing him so nervous only makes the pit in her own stomach worse.

Grian is better at hiding his anxiety, but it’s still there in the ways his hands twitch as he sets down a dispenser.

She’s hanging a lot of hope on Grian being able to pull this off, that there really is a way beyond the border.

Pearl reaches her hand out towards the barrier in question. There’s no surface there, nothing to actually touch, except maybe a slight buzz of magical energy. She still feels air under her fingertips, but it’s as unyielding as a solid slab of stone. Diagonal bands of teal light inch along the border, casting eerie shadows across her hand.

Cleo’s blood is under her fingernails. She wants more.

The click of the dispenser going off snaps her attention back to Grian’s contraption. A dark oak boat sits on a puddle of water, split in half by the border. Grian climbs in and rows through like it’s nothing.

Pearl gasps. “That’s so cheaty. I love it.”

Big B laughs, a look of slight confusion on his face. “So wait, what?”

Pearl guesses it’s her turn now. 

She drops a boat in its condensed item form into the dispenser. She flicks the lever. Nothing happens. Did she already make a mistake? No, she flicks it again and the dispenser does its magic, conjuring a whole boat in front of her.

She lowers herself down into the boat and her left shoulder passes through the border without her even trying. She feels that slight current of energy again, a little stronger this time.

She pushes off the ground with one oar and pulls forward with the other, with the usual gracelessness of rowing a boat on dry land. The border is closer and closer and then with a shock of static electricity throughout her whole body, she’s on the other side.

Once out of her boat, she swings her axe down to break it back into an item. The diamond blade bounces off the wood without even leaving a mark.

Grian goes back to get Big B and the pair row through triumphantly.

Once they’re all on the other side, Grian lets them in on a wonderful secret. “Here’s the thing about being beyond the veil,” he says, “we’re already dead.” There’s a glint of mischief in his dark eyes.

Grian does always have a flair for the dramatic, but when he swings a sword at her to demonstrate, it hits her with about as much force as a feather. She attempts an axe swing back at him and then Big B. It similarly fails to connect. Her whole body feels a bit numb, now that she thinks about it.

Her time is still ticking away, but she feels like she can finally breathe instead of thinking how much she wants to rip someone’s throat out with her teeth.

As Grian demonstrates that they can still break blocks and damage mobs inside the border, she gives Big B a conspiratorial smile.

He grins back, his face lighting up under his war paint.

They’re here. They’re really here, where even her standing on this grass should be an impossibility.

Maybe being the last ones standing isn’t so impossible either.

Grian forges ahead. Pearl follows behind him, with Big B after her. 

Grian swerves too far from the border and winces like he’s been punched, despite there being nothing around. 

Pearl can’t blame him because she immediately makes the same mistake. There’s no way to know when you’ve gone too far, only the sudden phantom pain. Why would there be? They’ve already ignored the universe’s equivalent of a giant flashing sign that says “Don’t go here!”. If you die from going farther out, that’s just paying the price.

So Pearl hugs the border. She reaches her hand towards it and from this side her fingers pass through it as easily as if it really was just air.

She draws her hand back and slings her axe over her shoulder.

This might be one of the best ideas Grian has ever had.

It really does feel like cheating. The play is almost over and they’re sneaking around backstage instead of finishing their scene. It’s invigorating, the feeling of a trick well played, of breaking the world apart at the seams.

The trio keeps on walking. As they leave a spruce forest for a rocky plateau, Pearl watches two spiders climb the border, each of their eight legs waving as if they were swimming in mid air. There’s something almost hypnotic to the motion.

“We obviously can’t spend the next few hours here, but-” Grian breaks off in surprise when he sees the spiders.

“I don't know about you, but I could spend the next few hours here.” Pearl replies.

Grian laughs at the spiders and Big B lets out an uncertain “oh”. 

Grian runs ahead. Big B stays back with her. One hand grips the hilt of his sword.

His red eyes meet hers with a pained smile and he says “Well you know, Pearl, I can't- I can't.” 

She can’t acknowledge the seriousness in his voice because that would mean breaking the spell. Big B can’t be almost out of time. They can’t be anything other than safe here.

So she laughs and runs on ahead.

“That’s true.” She admits quietly.

A little while later Pearl and her allies reach the ocean. She dives in, now leading the charge ahead of Grian. Big B still hangs towards the back with very reasonable caution. 

Swimming in full plate armor is about as easy as rowing a boat on land, but Pearl makes do. She spots a school of tropical fish and kills one with her axe only for its body to drift out of reach in the current. 

It probably would have tasted terrible anyway.

She pops her head back above the surface. Behind all the bamboo and sugarcane, the Mean Gills’ base is deserted. The beach house has certainly seen better days. Half of the foundation is scarred and splintered from TNT blasts and the porch is littered with broken glass.

Scott and Martyn are probably still up on Skynet, which means their crops are free for the taking.

Stealing from them one more time can’t hurt, right?

Pearl tears wheat and carrots from the soil. Most of them go flying out of reach farther inside the border, but she manages to keep hold of a few.

The group briefly discusses where the Mean Gills might be and then all get a good laugh when Grian drops his loaf of bread in the ocean.

As they approach the corner of the world, Grian points towards the TIES base. “Scott’s clocked us.”

The Mean Gills and what’s left of TIES are spread out behind the squat base of the stone tower and its defaced bowtie. Etho sits on a horse, watching them from the path. Martyn and Impulse charge down the steps towards the beach while Scott cuts across the hill.

Pearl swims on ahead, watching as their enemies take position on top of dirt and stone eyesore of Etho’s mob farm. She can’t can’t wait to see the look on Scott’s face when he realizes they’re invincible.

Scott stands right at the edge and peers down at them, his bow in hand. His clothes are tattered and a bit singed. There’s grim determination in his eyes as he nocks an arrow and pulls back the bowstring.

“Hello!” Pearl smiles up at him as cheerfully as if they were meeting up for lunch rather than trying to kill each other. 

“Hi!” Scott fires. The arrow misses as Big B echoes her hello.

“How’s it going?” Pearl says, just as brightly.

Scott responds with another arrow.

It hits, piercing her armor and lodging just above her heart.

The pain is even worse because it’s unexpected. Grian was wrong. You can try to bend the rules as much as you want, but they will snap back into place like a rubber band. 

“Ow! What? They can get us!” She cries out.

They barely even had a plan, just a naive hope that they could hurt their enemies without getting hurt themselves.

The fight breaks out in earnest, arrows and shouts flying with abandon.

Pearl dives towards the seafloor and grabs fistfuls of the arrows that miss, barely noticing the ones that find purchase in her body.

“Oh no, I’m dead.” Big B says matter of factly.

Pearl lets out a horrified gasp as she sees his body dissolve into smoke.

Adrenaline propels her through the water. Scott and Impulse congratulate Martyn on his kill. If she could she’d strike them all down right then and there to avenge him.

But Scott and Impulse keep shooting at her and she has no way to fight back. She can barely pay attention to what’s going on through the pain.

Where did Etho go?

Where did Grian go?

If only she could just swim a little farther.

The seawater turns pink with her blood. The armor that failed to protect her is now dragging her towards the bottom. She tries to breathe but her lungs only fill with water and sand. 

In the dark seconds before respawn she reminds herself that she still has time.

Before the light comes pouring back in she remembers that Big B doesn’t.

[jfkonfucius]

do u have any random confucious headcanons u wanna share? :3

OF COURSE ! I think about him everyday

- The airspray shirts he makes don't sell very well, but he still makes use of the equipment to make and gift shirts to his friends and loved ones

- He spoils people all the time with expensive stuff, he thinks people will be less likely to abandon him if he does so. He thinks the fact he has money is the only thing that makes him remotely loveable

- Cries easily

- Makes animation memes on Flipaclip. He is not very outstanding at it. He has a protogen fursona

- Has horrible reflexes, but is extremely cracked at Geometry Dash and Subway Surfers

- He doesn't have a very good relationship with his sister, his jealousy caused by his parents' favoritism towards her makes him act unusually petty, even though his sister is actually pretty nice to him

- Borderline Personality Disorder. Very bad abandonment issues. Was splitting on Joan in S3 E9

- He likes JFK, but would never date him cuz he's clingy and he thinks he would interfere with JFK's not-very-monogamous lifestyle

- He gave away the "I only got eyes 4 u" shirts to some random couple without telling them the backstory

- Somehow still does not know that Top-her69 was Topher

- Amab genderfluidddd all pronouns + ey/em + bro/bros + other neopronouns probably. But if asked in real life he's just gonna go "Uhh I'm a guy but I don't care if you call something else"

- Has a bit of an issue with vaping and energy drinks

- His favorite food is pizza

- He treats Kevin like a big puppy dog. Even though it's a Giant Bear

- He listens to EDM, hyperpop, dubstep and similar. Probably had a Skrillex haircut when he was younger

- ADHD+autism, he mainly stims vocally by making noises (pew pew!) or quoting internet vids he finds funny

- His special interest is Fast and Furious

- You know his ass never charges his Nintendo Switch

- The reason why you don't see him in the episode anymore after he gave Abe the suggestion that got him cancelled, is because he felt super bad and started hiding ("I run from like, 99% of my problems")

- Not a very good singer

- As we all know his parents are very absent, but they did help him dress up for the Valentine's day week dance

- Has a huge admiration for Frida, and is very intimidated by Cleo, which is a funny combination because the two of them were together for a year

- Owns an Itemlabel Dinkle

- First thing he does when he wakes up is message Joan good morning . or good afternoon . The only thing holding his schedule together is having to go to school

- His parents wanted to get him a panda because they know he loves em. But it was a pain in the ass because of the whole "former endangered species" thing. So they got him Kevin instead because close enough

This is definitely not All my headcanons, but that's enough for now 😎

[nanowrimo]

Journaling Practices to Help With Writing Funks

Feeling stuck in your writing? Journaling might be your answer to getting unstuck! NaNo Participant Ashley has some tips on using journaling as a guide to get you writing again. We all know writing is no easy feat, and it can be especially difficult when we find ourselves in a funk. Sometimes it’s best to take a break, reset, and turn our energy elsewhere and inward to help us get re-focused on the goal ahead. So, whether you’re struggling to start a new work or find yourself stumped on writing that next chapter, try these tips to help you get over the hump.

1. Brain dump

A brain dump is exactly what it sounds like. Grab a journal and write down everything on your mind. It can be specific to what you’re currently working on, or just anything that’s taking up space in your head. Set a timer for 5 minutes and let the thoughts flow. If you find this difficult to do, maybe start with one of these prompts:

What are five things I accomplished today?

How can I prioritize myself and my everyday tasks better?

Are there any goals I’d like to accomplish this week/month/year?

Pro tip: Using the voice note app on your phone works just as well! Go for a walk or hop in your car for a drive and talk all your thoughts out until there’s nothing left to say.

2. Use a guided journal

I’m a big fan of guided journals when I can’t seem to find the inspiration to write. Something about a journal prompt and the space to write freely about a variety of topics really helps me to get out of my head. There are a ton of guided journals out there, but these are a few of my favorites:

Cleo Wade’s Heart Talk

Rupi Kaur’s Healing Through Words

Michelle Obama’s Becoming

3. Keep a gratitude log

One of the best ways to get grounded and re-centered is by simply paying attention and being present to the world around us. Start your day or end your night making a list of 5-10 things you're grateful for. You can even take it a step further by choosing 1 or 2 things from your list and going into more detail about why you’re grateful for it. Give yourself a few minutes every day for this practice, and by the end of the week you’ll have a long list to look back on and come back to when you’re feeling stuck.

4. Get into nature

A change of scenery is another great way to switch up your writing routine. Find a new or familiar park, take a walk, and observe the nature around you. Take notes in your phone or in your journal of everything that comes to mind using your five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch). Get creative with what you jot down and write a poem from your observations, or perhaps a short story.

Ashley is a content marketer by day and aspiring nonfiction writer by night. She’s built a career of brand storytelling and now hopes to share stories from her own life on healing and self-care as she begins working on her first book. Follow her journey on Substack or Medium. Photo by Charlotte May from Pexels