#big finish might say she likes men but shes lesbian to me

[pitchsidestories]

fight like a girl II Ona Batlle x Reader

masterlist I moodboard I word count: 2202

pairings: Ona Batlle x Reader (romantic), Barcelona Femení x Reader (platonic)

warnings: disgusting men, mentioning of blood

“Look who has finally arrived.” Jana noticed you first when you stepped into the restaurant where the Barcelona women were having dinner. She was one of the closest friends of your girlfriend Ona in the team and you couldn’t help but to smile at her.

You might be small in height, but you always left quite an impression despite that. Even though your arm muscles were hidden underneath an oversized sweater you have stolen from your lover.  

“Hi everyone, sorry for being so late.”, you apologized, nervously redoing your ponytail.

“No worries, come here.”, Ona padded on the free chair next to her, her jaw looked tense. Something about the atmosphere was off.

You wondered why but the answer to the question in your head came promptly through a man and his male friend, you could hear the alcohol loosened their tongues in a way which made the women around the table deeply uncomfortable.   

“Oh, there’s another one.”, the taller man punched playfully into his mate's side.

“Not bad either if you know what I mean.”, the smaller but bulkier wiggled his eyebrows.

“Sorry, we asked them to leave several times now.”, Alexia sighed, she’s been clearly tired by their behaviour.  

“But they didn’t listen?”, you stood up abruptly from your seat next to her girlfriend.

“Y/n.”, Ona begun concerned, trying to stop you from doing something possible very stupid.  

“Let me deal with them.”, you asked her to, looking into her worried brown doe like eyes.

“Don’t.” she shook her head determined.

“But-.” you started.

“Just ignore them.”, your girlfriend begged gently.

“Come on you just finished training you need to drink and eat something y/n.”, Mapi changed the topic smoothly.

The older defender was right, in the box ring you forgot time and almost everything else. If you were honest with you were quite hungry at this point in the evening. Yet it was so hard to ignore the men close by.

 “Oh, she’s the baby of the group? What’s your name, beautiful?”, he cooed.

“Not your fucking business.”, you shot back grumpily.

“Oh, she’s a feisty one. You know how to make yourself interesting to men, huh?”, the smaller man grinned dirtily.

“Sorry to hurt your little ego guys but I’m not interested in men at all I’m a lesbian.”, you smiled smugly as you thanked the waitress for bringing you all the drinks before taking a big gulp of your beer waiting for their response.

It was like a dance in the boxing ring, attack, waiting for the response, defending and you wanted them to leave so you could have a nice peaceful evening with friends. But the other truth was you simply loved playing a dangerous game. Some might even say you were addicted to it.

“You just haven’t had the right one yet.“, one of the men replied with a laugh.

You almost rolled your eyes. Not even a creative insult. “How many times have I heard that sentence before? But I hate to break it to you, it’s a no.“

Instinctively you reached for Onas hand under the table.

The men remained unimpressed. The taller one flashed you a toothy grin and turned towards Jana: “Fine then. I’ll just take one of your friends.“

You wanted to laugh. None of the girls would even look at a sleazy guy like him. But you knew men like that. If women didn’t want him, he would get more aggressive until he got what he thought was his. You decided to keep your eyes fixed on him.

“No, you won’t.“, you said calmly.

He snorted: “What are you going to do about it?”

That was the moment you could feel your brain go into autopilot. Anger spread through your body like a wildfire, burning hot in your stomach and your chest. Your hands curled into fists, your nails digging into your skin as you slipped from your seat. There was nothing you hated more than being underestimated.

“You should be scared.“, you said plainly.

The tall man burst into laughter: “Of you? You’re tiny!”

His laugh was like gasoline to fire, only feeding your rage.

“And you’re tall with not a lot of brain to match your height apparently!”, you snapped at him.

He considered you for a moment before he ordered: “And you only have a big mouth so sit back down!”

With a frown, you took a step towards him: “I will. If you stop harassing my girlfriend and our friends!”

“Harassing?!”, he echoed and glared at you. “What are you on about? We’re just talking to them!”

“But they’re clearly not interested.“

You got angrier with every word out of his mouth but you also got this perverse sense of pleasure out of arguing with him.

“Amor, your food has arrived.“, Ona interrupted you. Her voice was gentle and cautious.

You waved her off: “I’m not hungry right now.“

“Please.“, she asked but your focus was back on the two men.

“I’m only asking you to leave on more time.“

The first man bent down to you like an adult would do with a young child. “Or what? You’re not scary at all, little one.“, he sneered.

That was all it needed. You swung at him and struck him right in the face. There was the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking and blood dripping on the floor. You heard the gasps from the football players behind you.

“Fuck! You fucking bitch!”, he cursed under his breath. You waited for him to lunge at you but he was too busy trying to stop the bleeding.

“I warned you.“, you said cooly and shot a warning look at his friend, signalling that you were ready to break a second nose that night.

“Time to leave, girls.”, Alexia announced in her captain voice.

“Please.”, Ona muttered.

“No, she’s got to pay for this!”, the man who you didn’t injure demanded hissing.

“What? You want your nose broken too?!”, you replied shaking your head in disbelief. Alarmed your girlfriend called your name but you couldn’t help to add. “That was no coincidence. I know how to do it.”

“Yes, but they aren’t worth it.”, she whispered into your ear.  

“Everyone harassing my friends is worth it.”, you told her fiercely while her teammates and you slowly made your way out.

“These men could’ve hurt you.”, Ona remarked. There was worry swinging through her words.

“No, they couldn’t. I’m a good boxer.”, you disagreed confidently as you wrapped protectively an arm around the brunette’s shoulder.

“I know you’re, what I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to protect us.”, she explained softly.

“He deserved that broken nose though.”, Mapi commented chuckling from behind.

“See?”, you grinned triumphantly at your lover.

“Just great, Maria.”, Ona groaned in frustration.

“Good night, girls.”, the older defender said with an innocent smile on her lips as she went for Ingrids hand to start the walk to their home.

“That’s our cue to leave too. Night.”, Jana declared.

“Goodbye, text me all when your home.”, the captain of the team hugged everyone before going her own way.

“Your captain can be such a mum, Oni.”, you smirked amused. The balmy night air felt nice against your skin, it made what happened in the bar appear like a faint memory.  

It didn’t have the same effect on your girlfriend for her the scene of you hitting that man was still replaying in her mind. Alone the thought of it made her heart sank.

“If she were more of a mum, she would’ve stopped you from doing that.”, Ona objected.

“Not that again.”, you grumbled.

Once you reached the safe walls of your home the adrenaline has worn off and your fingers started to hurt which didn’t get unnoticed by the defender even though you tried your best to hide your pain from her.

“Wait, I’ll get some ice.”, Ona noted.

“I’m fine.”, you assured her quickly. Although your sayings turned out to be useless, she was already up getting something to ease your hurt.

“No, you’re not I can tell that from the look on your face.”, the brunette sounded mad, but despite that there was a tenderness in the way she took care of you despite her furiousness.

“Ona…“, you whispered quietly, in hopes to calm her down but also because you weren’t sure what to say next. Of course, she had seen right to you even when you tried to ignore the throbbing pain in your hand. Your knuckles were still red and swollen.

“Yes?”, Ona asked. Her voice was tense as she took in the damage on your hand and gently applied some ice.

You watched her hold your injured hand in the dim light, her gaze directed downwards.

Only when she looked up with an inquiring expression on her face, you remembered to speak.

“I didn’t mean to… you know? I just never know what to do with my anger.“ You bit your lip. Nothing that came out of your mouth did your feelings justice. Nothing conveyed the message enough that you weren’t malicious, you were just an angry girl. Something that people didn’t want to see for some reason.

Onas eyes softened. She sighed quietly: “I know. And you don’t need to fight all the time. We could have handled that as a group together, not just you alone. Besides I get angry too, but only on the pitch.“

“That’s different.“ You blew out a short, hard breath of frustration. That was not even remotely comparable.

Ona nodded slowly: “Yes, you’re right… still.“

“Yes. Maybe. But I’m tired, Ona. Everyone sees my anger as something bad when it’s not!”

You regretted saying it as soon as Ona looked away again.

“You need to sleep…“, she said softly.

But you both knew it was not that kind of tiredness you were talking about.

You pulled your hand away from her: “No, you don’t get it. It helped me a lot in the past!”

“You never tell me anything about that so how am I supposed to know?”, Ona asked, frowning with her jaw set.

“I was telling you now!“, you retorted, rolling your eyes in annoyance.

Ona remained calm, unfazed by your rage: “Go on.“

To your surprise, her composure seemed to rub off on you.

“Doesn’t matter anymore. All you need to know is that I’m not ashamed of my anger.“

She shook her head determinedly, clearly not ready to let you sweep that topic under the rug: “No. I want to hear everything, the whole story. You don’t have to sugarcoat anything. Plus, I want you to teach me how to box.“

You blinked at her: “Wait. You do?”

“Yes, I do.“, she replied, leaving no room for doubt.

You studied her face. She looked so serious.

You could feel your heart beat faster thinking about Ona in a boxing, just because you loved the sport, just to get to know you better.

“How about I’ll take you boxing tomorrow?”, you suggested.

Ona finally smiled: “Sure.“

“And then we can talk.“

Ona and you went early to the gym the following day, mainly because it meant that you were completely alone. The morning light streamed through the large windows and highlighted the boxing ring which stood in the centre of the room. This was the place you felt most at ease and somewhere your anger wouldn’t be judged.

You recognized how your girlfriend struggled a bit with her boxing gloves, carefully you helped her to put them on.

Curiously she looked up to you. “When did you’ve to learn to fight for yourself?”

“When I was very young. People always made sure I knew that I was very different from them.”, you confessed alone the thought of it made you shudder.

“It must have been very painful for you especially when you were so young.”, Ona replied empathetically, the defender didn’t know she wasn’t standing right.

Gently you moved her into the right stance before continuing your story.

“Yes, and then people were surprised when I got angry for being treated differently.”

A cloud moved in front of the sun and darkened the whole room.

“And the boxing ring was a place to deal with your anger?”, the defender wanted to know genuinely interested.

“Well, when we had to flee from my home country, we were feeling so helpless and I never wanted to feel like this again. That’s a story for another time.”, you explained quickly.

With a cheeky smile on your lips, you advised her. “Hands up we want to protect your pretty face.”

While you showed her the essential boxing moves, Ona stopped your movement for a moment urging you to take her all in. “No, I want the full story.”

“Alright, but it’s going to be a long one.”, you warned the brunette.

You have circled around this topic for so long it was time to face it. And two things you were certain about, one your girlfriend was strong enough to handle what you’d tell her and second you were brave enough to speak about it.

Fight like a girl wasn’t an insult to both of you it was a compliment.

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Sparks

Originally published on my wattpad: slvt4em1lyprenti2s

Summary: You and Emily have had tension for a while now, and it finally breaks.

Word Count: 2k 

Fluff, implikation of nsfw, normal case details, being held by an UnSub (extremely briefly)

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

Emily's pov:

This case is dragging on, and on, and on. We know who the UnSub is and we're keeping a close eye on him but we have no solid evidence to pin him yet, so we're basically waiting on him to kidnap another woman. 

He stalks them at clubs and then whisks them away with his 'charm' and they think they're getting lucky. But they're not, they're getting an early grave. It's sad but c'mon men are stupid and cruel and disgusting. Ugh men. 

It's hard not to prove the lesbian stereotypes.

Anyway, we're running out of options because this guy just isn't biting, we think he's cottoned onto the surveillance we have in him and is therefore not going to kidnap another woman. We're sitting ducks. We just need a woman he can't resist to waltz into the club he's in right now to resolve this problem.

"You ready?" I hear Hotch say. My interest piqued I look to see who he's talking too and my eyes fall on the y/h/c haired beauty I get to call my best friend. Although I wish it was more. She's in a red dress thats stops around mid thigh, a slit that goes too far up for my liking on her left leg and a plunging neckline that makes it hard not to stare. I come to my senses as I hear her angelic voice.

"Ready as I'll ever be, I didn't imagine I'd be spending my Saturday chatting up a serial killer but here we are." She chuckles, got I could listen to her laugh all day- wait what. She's going to chat up the UnSub?

Rossi must've seen me coming and realised what I'd head as he said "Uh oh, here comes your girlfriend y/n/n." The team all laughed at this as they saw me coming. I wasn't going to stop her from doing her job but I sure as hell wasn't letting her go in unprotected. 

"Take this." I hand her a small pistol that can fit in her clutch, remembering I had been in a similar situation before. 

"Thank you em." The blush on her face is evident to everyone in the room, thankfully no one mentions it. 

As she stuffs it into her clutch she spins to face me and pulls me into a hug. I grip her tightly, my hands resting on the small of her back as I take in her scent. 

"Be careful, please." I plead quietly.

"I will, pinky promise, you know I can't break pinky promises." As she finishes her sentence her pinky makes its way round mine and we each kiss our hand. It's a little tradition we have when we promise something and really mean it. 

Me and y/n/n have had tension for months, I'm not even 100% sure she's into girl but hey, I can dream. 

After this little display Morgan started making kissing noises to which he received a middle finger from me and a 'yeah you wish you could watch' from y/n/n which made the team laugh even harder. 

"As amusing as this is, we have an UnSub to catch, so come in everyone. Let's get going to the SUV's." Hotch said over our laughter.

Time skip to when you are in the bar

Reader pov:

Jesus christ. I didn't know anyone's ego could be this big. He's talking to girls left and right as if he owns them, as if it's his right to talk to them. I actually might throw up. Hotch, Derek and Emily are positioned in different places throughout the bar and Jj, Rossi and Spencer along with SWAT and local PD are surrounding the building so, I'm completely safe.

I fix my face as he looks in my direction putting in my best smile and giving him a flirty wave. He instantly smirks and excuses himself from whatever meaningless conversation he was having with this poor girl and makes his way over to me.

"What's a pretty lady like you doing alone on a Saturday night?" He asks while touching my lower back as he walks up next to me, leaning against the bar.

"Just looking for a friend, you know, the usual." I respond, dragging my finger along my glass of lemonade. 

"I could help with that." He whispers into my ear. God I could punch him right now.

"I'd like that, you wanna get out of here?" I propose trying to get this done as soon as possible.

"Whoa slow down little lady, I gotta get you a drink first. Get to know ya a little." I internally roll my eyes because what he means is 'Whoa slow down, I need to drug you first.' 

He clearly senses my hesitation and puts the dots together. 

"You're not here for a friend, are you?" This time I actually roll my eyes and that's enough for him as I then feel something cold and metal press against my ribs. Shit. 

"Don't make a scene and walk with me." His words are like daggers. Or maybe that's just the actual dagger pressing on my side. Who knows? 

"Eric Mannings, FBI!" I hear Hotch shout with Emily and Derek right behind him, guns out, pointing at him. Immediately my position is flipped, there's now a knife on the throat, not my side. I'm in a headlock, about to get my neck cut and the only thing I can think about is how bad this guy smells and how hot Emily looks in her FBI vest and with her gun out.

He is going back and forth with Hotch until I see Emily out of the corner of my eyes, getting a better position. Uh oh, this is either going to end with a bullet in his body or, Emily's badge and gun on Strauss' desk. I can only hope for the first option. Everyone has been ordered to shoot if they have a clear shot which is exactly what Emily had right now. BANG! I scrunch my eyes as the shot rings awfully close to my ear. 

I feel the grip on my loosen as he falls down on the floor, shot in the neck. Wait why was that hot- OMG STOP. Emily immediately rushes over to me and helps me away from everyone as Derek crouches to check his pulse and everyone else from the perimeter comes in. 

"Hey are you okay?" Concern evident in her voice. 

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." I lie through my teeth. In all honestly even though I acted okay, I did just get held with a knife at my throat by a homicidal maniac, so you know, kinda shaken up. 

"No you're not." Her tone gentle yet commanding.

"No, I'm not." Tear prick at the corner of my eyes, threatening to spill. 

"Oh honey, come here." She pulls me into her warm embrace and I cling to her.

Honey.

Honey.

Honey.

Like sure we have nicknames but a pet name? Never crossed that line before. Does that mean.. No stop being delusional she'd never like you back.

A few tears escape my eyes as I lay my head on her shoulder.

"Let's go home yeah?" She says, as she begins to guide me out the bar and into one of the SUV's.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." 

Time skip to when you're  back at Emily's apartment.

"This isn't my place?" I question as we pull up to the block of flats.

I look around the familiar neighbourhood and realise we're at Emily's place.

"I can take you home if you want I- uh I just thought you wouldn't want to be alone after what happened, I know I wouldn't. But, I can leave you alone if you want?" She rambled as her hand subconsciously rests on my thigh. My breath catches in my throat slightly at this action.

"No, no, em. It would be really nice to have some company actually. Thank you." A blush creeping onto my cheeks, thinking about spending the night with Emily Prentiss, alone. 

As we walk out the car and into her flat, our hands intertwine. It sends sparks through my body, as cheesy as it sounds. We finally make it to her flat and she gets her keys out, unlocks the door and we walk in. 

"Make yourself at home; do you need anything?" She asks, instantly fussing over me.

"I'm okay, em, really. I just need you." Now it was Emily's turn to blush. She looked to the ground and muttered a quick, 'I can do that' as she walked me to her bedroom. 

I was passed a pair of old sleep shorts and an oversized hoodie with the words 'FBI Academy' written across it. It was the comfiest jumper I've ever worn; and it smelt like em which was a massive bonus. Emily made her way to the bathroom giving me time and space to change into my pj's. 

As I was slipping my shirt off so I could but on the jumper she gave me I heard the bathroom lock click and the door swing open quicker than I could cover myself. 

"Oh god! I'm sorry!" She squeals covering her eyes. 

"It's okay em don't worry about it! We're both girls, nothing we haven't seen before, right? And plus, I still have a bra on." I try to tame the   blush that's infecting my face, but that fails as soon as she responds to my words "I wish you didn't." She says it so quietly I think I imagined it. 

"What was that?" 

"Nothing." 

"I mean I wouldn't object to it, if you're being serious." 

"Really?" 

"mhm"

She creeps closer to me, our faces inches apart. Her warm breath fans across my face as my arms lace around her back as hers reach for my hips. 

"Honey you have no idea what you're doing to me right now." There it is again, that damn name. If she keeps that up I'm going to melt.

"I think I have some idea." 

"Oh really?" 

"Yeah, I think I do."

"Prove it." 

Without a seconds hesitation I smash her lips against mine in a heated kiss. The months of built up tension, flirting, jealousy, all spilt into this one kiss. I feel her hand travel from my waist to the back of my neck and she pressed my head in and deepens the kiss. Her tongue grazes over my bottom lip asking for entrance which I happily grant opening my mouth. I let out a small gasp as she pushes her tongue into my mouth, instantly dominating and not leaving an inch unexplored. 

We pull away and the look in her eye tells me all I need to know. She gently guided me to her bed until my knees hit the edge and I sit down. I shuffle back and she sits next to me pulling me into her lap. 

"Promise me something." Emily says abruptly. "Of course, anything." I respond, wondering where this is leading.

"Be mine, forever. Be my girlfriend." Her dark eyes lock with my y/e/c ones and I immediately respond, "I want nothing more than to be yours em." That's all the incentive she needed to kiss me with that same passion again. Hungry lips make contact with my collar bone, nipping and sucking at my skin, already leaving marks. 

This was going to be a long night, not that I'm complaining though. 

A/N: LMAO THIS WAS SHITEEE. It's okay though it's 1am so cut me some slack and I started writing this ages ago and completely forgot what I was planning to write so I just made it up as I went along. Sorry for the crappy chapter!

ALSO PLEASE LEAVE REQUESTS!!

[loudsnapdragon]

On The Sleeve of How It Used To Be

7/7 Chapters. 55,000 words. Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham. Rated Mature. teen pregnancy, inspired by Juno (2007), background steddie, coming of age, childhood friends, no monsters AU. Ao3 loudsnapdragon.

Not-so-secret smalltown lesbian Robin Buckley makes a last ditch attempt at heterosexuality by scoring a one night stand with her old bandmate Eddie, but while the sex does successfully confirm the annoying complete disinterest in men she harbors, it kickstarts another clusterfuck for her to deal with. She’s pregnant. And despite her better judgement, she’s keeping the baby. Luckily, she finds a recently wedded Ms. Kelley and Mr Clarke looking to adopt. But to save herself from some of the mortification, of ya’know; blowing up like a hormonal balloon throughout her Junior year, she decides to not tell anyone who the daddy is. Not the daddy himself, not her parents, not even her favorite dingus. But as is the luck of your regular outcast pregnant sixteen-year-old, someone finds out. And like many secrets, Chrissy Cunningham doesn't make it easy to keep.

Excerpt under the cut.

If they were normal, then the sex would have been really sweet. Eddie would say something like, ‘I’ve wanted this for ages.’ And Robin would say ‘I know.’ And then he would say something goofy and cute like, ‘Wizard.’

But unfortunately for them, the second after she settled on his lap, her knees brushing against the faded leather of the Munson trailer’s shabby couch, she realised three things.

One: There is a limit to Eddie’s goofy cuteness. He is charming, but not charming enough to pull off a stupid catchphrase like ‘Wizard.’ And the first thing he said after he entered Robin wasn’t ‘I’ve wanted this for ages’, it was: ‘Is it meant to make that noise?’

Two: The goofy-cute limit is reached far quicker when Eddie is naked, his worryingly too pink erection pressing into her thigh.

Three: This probably isn’t Eddie’s fault. Because Robin understood, suddenly, but sadly too slowly as to stop the trajectory of her first brave adventure into sex, she’s definitely gay. Super gay. The dykiest dyke to ever dyke. This ain't a switch she can unflip like Chrissy did. 

She goes through with it. Because there’s a pesky hope that she could make this work. That she might be gay, but maybe Eddie’s long hair and big lips and dangly earrings could trick her gay ass mind. She finishes the ordeal thanks to a sachet of lube and a traitorous condom he theatrically whipped out his wallet prior. She’s never been a great actress, but she thinks, maybe this time, she’ll convince them all.

Eddie kisses her forehead after he finishes. Keeps on asking if she’s alright, so she knows she didn’t put on a good enough show.

Six weeks later, stone sky ripping into the clouds, the distant haze of woodsmoke trailing the horizon, the suburban roofs shining like jewels in the cold sun, she buys a bottle of Sunny Delight from Melvald’s and walks a loop-de-loop back to Main Street. She’s loath to admit it, but sometimes Hawkins really is beautiful.

‘Well, if it isn’t Birdie, the future mother to be, back again at the nest.’

She throws the third pregnancy test into the trash by the store’s entrance.

‘Jesus Murray, try some sympathy. How did you even get a job here.’

‘Joyce is sweet on me.’ Murray shrugs from behind the counter of Melvald's, holding the bathroom key back like a prize, waiting for her to pay for the fresh pregnancy test she tossed by the register. ‘This is your fourth test today, not like your latest orange delight is going to switch the pee-pee situation.’

‘God, silence old man. Just give me the key.’

‘Pay for the pregnancy test when you’re done. Don’t think it’s yours just because you marked it with your urine!’

She snatches the key and hides away in the store’s toilet, twisting her wrist under her crotch and peeing on the stick with a creeping familiar ease. She walks out to the store, slapping the test against her palm as she waits, trying to shake out the most likely result, considering her lack of period and extremely sensitive nipples, if what Brenda says is true. 

‘That ain’t no etch-a-sketch that can be undid, dearie.’

She throws Murray the finger, but sure enough, a minute later, that evil pink plus sign appears for the fourth time, cementing her impending doom.

So she does what she normally does when faced with impending doom. She buys a pack of Red Vines, ignores Murray, and cycles over to Steve’s place.

‘Are you going to go Sunnyvale or Women Now? Cos’ I remember Carol saying you need a note from your parents if you go to Sunnyvale.’

Steve’s parents are never home, so they’re spread out over the couches talking aloud about her impending doom, because the Harringtons are the type of rich to have three couches, all of them ugly.

‘I’ll think I’ll go to Women Now, cos’ ya’ know, they help women now.’

‘Yeah, I get ya.’ Steve says, sitting feet up on his couch. ‘How did you even generate enough pee for four pregnancy tests? That’s amazing.’

‘I drank ten tonnes of Sunny D.’

‘Jesus Birdie, that’s so much sugar. Your teeth are going to fall out.’

‘Doesn’t really matter if my teeth fall out if I’m dead first.’

‘Hey.’ Steve swings his leg down, throws a pillow over the coffee table and on to her couch, smiling when it hits her square on the forehead.

‘Ow.’

‘You’re not going to die. No one is going to find out. We’ll get it sorted, okay? Just tell me the time for the appointment and I’ll pick you up after.’

He looks so stupid. His floppy hair flat on his forehead, that Weird Al shirt he only wears to make Dustin happy, and those ugly basketball shorts that are two sizes too small, cos' like a freak of nature, he’s only gained thigh muscle since quitting the team. She wants to grab him by the apples of his cheeks and smush him a like a golden retriever.

‘You look stupid.’

He smiles. ‘Right back at ya.’

‘I’m going to abort the hell out of this baby.’

‘Fuck yeah, you are.’

[girlbossminerva]

I forgot how heteronormative the Fairy Tail fandom was back in 2015-2019, it could have been happening way before, but still.

Whenever I read fanfics religiously, I began reading Fairy Tail fanfiction years ago and it was always one of these books, that I read and it was either betrayal stories (I will not specify, some may already know) or...

Slayer Season stuff, kill me, and when reading these stories, I would see ships... I had no idea even existed but because I was dumb as hell and didn't finish the show, meaning I was walking on eggshells towards spoilers, I didn't but I remember Acnologia being mentioned and it unlocked some shitty memories.

AnnaLogia (Anna Heartfilia x Acnologia)

RogUra (Rogue Cheney x Kagura Mikazuchi

Don't know how this came to be, people see them as the Natsu and Lucy of the past but my interception being that Acnologia is a genocidal type of guy while Anna barely knows of his existence, I don't want their defenders coming after me when I say I ship AnnRene (Anna x Irene) Wait- Milfs together, Irene being with someone who won't leave her, can listen to her, while they stay in the library finding information and sharing with each other in a cottage- GUESS WHO JUST GOT A NEW CRACK SHIP- men didn't work out for Irene, so women would do much better- all in all, I understand what they're going for, but just no. Just no.

RogUra (Rogue Cheney x Kagura Mikazuchi

I don't understand. How in the fu-, I think what they were going for was how Kagura owned Yukino's life for about three days, and in the equivalent of StinYu, they needed RoguRa, They've never had any interaction, Kagura only argued with Sting over Yukino being in Mermaid Heel or SaberTooth, but even with all her interaction with men, she lacks interest in them, hell even Mashima didn't show signs of any guy approaching Kagura, fuck I might have jinxed my girl, although it pissed me off on how she got exposed to a lot of men in her "fight" against Dimaria, when Kagura is with Erza, genuinely she's more romantic with Erza instead of a MALE, Kagura KISSED Erza, KISSED!! Farther than any of the semi-canon ships can come up to, Kagura asked to be little Erza's little sister? Nah, it was avoiding her obvious wlw attraction, Rogue never interacted with her, he acknowledges her abilities, Kagura vs Millianna, he was genuine Kagura would win, I mean ofc she would, he saw her against Yukino, against Lyon and that mf is strong.

#Monet just rants

Go off queen!!

A lot of ships, specially some so-called crackships from the fandom really are rooted in heteronormativity, like with Rogue x Kagura or bickslow x lisanna (which later got more people actually putting in the thought process for their dynamic but i'm convinced it started to get lis out of the way of nalu), i don't know what kind of brain rot the early fandom had to just write "female character is hated on for no reason" or "smut that's this 👌 close to being omegaverse". I started reading ft fics in like 2014 and the first one i read was a just so full of lisanna and loke bashing cause of course they're "keeping Lucy and Natsu from being able to date each other", and today i find it so out of place cause i remember the rest of the plot was perfectly fine.

I feel like annalogia is like EndLu two electric boogaloo, like the pipeline was: nalu->EndLu ->AcnoLu (i remember seeing that being shipped)-> Annalogia

Which is objectively inferior to Annarene, like if you want to ship her with someone who's partially a dragon Irene is right there and asking for her character to do something. I'm a big fan of the possible things you can do with them even if I have never written about them besides them being funky lesbian vodka aunts in a luvia selkie au and i also love when milfs are paired together.

Shipping Kagura with any male character should be considered lesbophobia (/j). Of all possibly canon queer characters, i think she's the one where is the most explicit that she's a into women even before she kissed Erza, and has never shown the interest to men that other female characters have. To ship her with any guy, but ESPECIALLY with rogue who i think she has never had a meaningful conversation with (correct me if i'm wrong) is heteronormativity at it's finest and i have the theory it was made like that because people who shipped sabertooth members with each other were too cowardly to consider sting x yukino x rogue and Minerva was not redeemed yet. Kagura is like peak dyke activity/relatability, even if she did confuse her attraction to Erza, this woman has never non-platonically liked men in her life.

And ok i know some of these ships have shippers that actually see how they could happen or how it would work out in canon. more power to you, that's not my issue. my issue is that it's obvious many of the most accepted "crackships" were straight because the fandom couldn't even fathom lesbianism as a viable option

[gorematchala]

I finished inuyasha yesterday and started yasahime today. Inuyasha was great, I think thats pretty well known. It meandered a bit in the middle but it ended really well. The MVP of that series is Kagome's mom for being cool with all of that shit. But so far my feelings on Yasahime generally are "I disagree", and I mean that in a lot of ways

First of all, obviously I would say if Rumiko Takahashi wasn't gonna be doing the whole thing maybe it didnt need to get made to begin with, but then this new guy is introducing a lot of demon lasers that dont need to be there. Like the Soul Stealer didnt need to be explained as demon laser claws and I dont think the Kuwabara soul katana is a compelling weapon for Towa. For all the goofy shit in the original series thats the first instance of like a dumb cartoon weapon, at least to me. Tetsusaiga became a black hole eventually but it wasnt a lightsaber, there was still a sword underneath it. Idk. And the other thing I disagree with might get some weirdos mad at me but I dont think Sesshomaru would've fucked Rin. That seems fuckin weird to me. I interpreted the way he treated her as him being protective of the innocence of a child. It was a big step for him as an asshole to feel compassion for a human who was completely helpless and weak. He looks down on them for that weakness in general, but Rin showed him kindness when he was helpless himself. That was his foot in the door to becoming a better person. But I dont think that would've been enough for him to take a human wife and certainly not Rin who was more like a daughter to him. He hardly ever spoke to her directly. And I'm sure its not as confusing as my brain is making it but I still dont get the timeline of when she became old enough to have his kids. And how their kids would be the same age as Moroha

The other thing thats bothering me is that they're trying way too hard to get lesbians into this shit. Never in all of the original series did they take multiple entire pages to have girls lose their minds about tomboys in suits. Men wanted to be with Sesshomaru and women wanted to be him because hes fucking cool and hot. There didnt need to be people screaming and cumming about it. There is too much fucking text in modern manga. And in this post

[superwholockednico]

I made some Torchwood Pride thingos!!

why did it take so long though 😭😭

Also I feel like labelling any torchwood member is pretty hard, since it's almost all up for interpretation.

Still, I wanted to just make some fun ones to celebrate the start of June and how goddamn amazingly and unapologetically gay this show was.

[lurkin-dworkin]

I remember once when I was fifteen and in a special after school business program, and we had to come up with our own business. I really enjoy reading and writing, and while I didn't know anything about feminsim at the time, I decided I wanted a bookstore with female only authors. we would sell books only by women, and I specifically meant natal women (though I didn't say that). everyone told me how sexist I was, how descriminatory the idea was, that it would never work, what about men? they didn't even understand the reason behind it. I didn't really do much research on female authors being oppressed, because I wasn't a feminist at the time and didn't know anything about that, but I did know that female authors had been forced to use pen names and not allowed to write or not even taught to write for a really long time. I also knew I just wanted to hear female voices and support women. my mom told me it was a terrible idea and to pick a new one, but I didn't. everyone in the group was mad at me. I was creating my business plan and I had all these ideas about a women's writers group that store could run, and collaboration with teen girls at my high school for a women's reading and writing group. I had all these really big ideas. but I got bullied so terribly about it and was so isolated by my peers that I ended up dropping out of the two year business program and I never finished my project. I think about that all the time. my cousin who calls herself a feminist and went to college for women and gender studies at a woman's only college- she even told me it was a bad idea. i could shrug the confusion and disappointment from my family though, I often felt judged and misunderstood by them, it wasn't new, but the verbal violence from my peers, bullying that the adults and teachers of the program allowed was just too much.

I also think about my sociology class at school. the class was all about debating different social issues topics. again, I didn't know anything really about female oppression or feminism, but during the lgbt unit we were talking about trans women in women's sports, and I was the only one in the entire class who said that shouldn't be allowed. we read the same articles and watched the same documentaries but everyone treated me like I was fucking stupid when I said that. then when I really started defending it, just on the basis of men being phsyically stronger, people started going ballistic on me. I mean full on yelling and calling me bitch and this and that. someone said something about trans women needing to feel safe and that this is invalidating them and I said that women weren't allowed to compete in sports for a very long time, and now that they can it's being taken away from them again. they didn't even cover that in the sources I just thought it was common knowledge, which it is. at that point someone said that trans women might kill themselves and that I supported it. another person, this outspoken girl in the gender sexuality alliance club said that I was making her feel suicidal or whatever for hating LGBT people and I literally got kicked out of the sociology class. like permanently. also, at the time I was riddled with internalized homophobia and nobody knew I was lesbian, and I didn't really understand fully that I was lesbian, I just knew I hated myself and wanted to be different and that I was going to burn in hell or something bla bla bla, so hearing that someone who was like my only representation of gay people in real life, say that I allegedly hated LGBT people and was making them suicidal. it really made me upset and guilty. I'm already very good at feeling guilty for no reason, but that really ruined me. also I already had no friends so you can bet I didn't end up making any with them lol. I ended up getting bullied at school too, but it was apparently excusable since I was transphobic and they were defending themselves or whatever, even though at that point I wasn't even saying anything anymore.

anyway, I just want some people to hear this because nobody in real life cares about these things, but I find them both pretty traumatic so yeah. I guess this isn't very articulate or anything but it's just my feelings and memories on a page. I'm seventeen now, so it's been two years since both of these things, but I think they will stick with me forever. I made one friend, a girl from Ghana who had been working since she was little, and she had very different experiences of the consequences of being a girl in a developing country opposed to all the middle class white people bullying me. I ended up dropping out of school because of various reasons, but the social factor was a big one.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

We gonna get some fucking Luisa smut or what?

You know what? You right, you right. Lesbians, this one's for you ;)

"And all done!"

"Gracias, Luisa! Have a good day off tomorrow!"

Ever since the Casita had been rebuilt, the Madrigal family had been FAR more happy. Take Luisa. She got three days out of the week to do absolutely ANYTHING she wanted. And that day was tomorrow, so she was wrapping up all her chores for today. In this case, clearing out some boulders out of the river so the water could flow properly. She nodded at the men, and immediately went home. At least, that's what she'd like to say. Then the donkeys got out again. Then weeds needed plucking. Then barrels had to be carried.

Suffice to say, Luisa still had issues saying no. By the time she was ACTUALLY done, it was well into the late afternoon. She saw the disappointment on their faces the second she got home, especially from Mirabel. The second Luisa stepped in the kitchen for a drink, Mirabel piped up from the table.

"Still gotta work on our no's, huh sis?"

Luisa finished her drink before sighing.

"I just don't like saying no to people in need, doesn't. Feel right, you know?"

Augustín motioned for her to sit down at the table with them. She obeyed, appreciating the cup of coffee, and some candy she knew had been bought specifically for her.

"You've been working so hard this week, mija. Especially with new people coming in from outside the Encanto-you've been giving everyone your strength. So, we all pitched in and got you something."

Augustín, with great excitement, slid a little envelope her way. She looked it over in her hands, before carefully opening it. Two pink slips, that upon reading, ended up being tickets for some sort of spa. She raised a brow.

"A...spa?"

Her mom nodded, keeping Augustín's cup of hot coffee from accidently spilling onto his lap. Again.

"I heard it's this new, very fancy place. We think that a day of pampering could do you some good for your poor body. It was your dad's idea."

He held onto Luisa's hand, giving it a soft pat.

"Of course, you spend your days off how you want to. No one will make you."

Luisa shook her head.

"No no, I'll do it. It's just...a different gift. Trust me, I like it."

Augustín brought her hands to his lips, as sweetly as a father could.

"We just worry, Mija. You may be the strongest person in Encanto, but you're still mi bebita."

She loved her dad, really she did. And hey, who knows. Maybe it'd be just the break she needed.

------------------------

You've worked on all sorts of people in your profession. Men, women, young, old, all types. Though, moving this far out to practice your skills was definitely new. This new area, 'Encanto', had become a huge trading port, as well as a new place for all sorts of new talents and services the town had yet to have. Including your spa. You had no idea if this would be permanent, but you just knew your skills were appreciated here.

"There we go, Mr. Osvaldo. Remember, plenty of water, take it easy on the sweets."

"Sure, Sure!"

You knew he wasn't going to. But didn't matter, you'd be here for your clients at any point. You walked him back outside, and heard him talk to someone outside. You couldn't see past the closed door, but you heard mention of 'Luisa'. Whatever, not your business. You wiped your hands free of oil, before looking over at your receptionist.

"Who's next on the agenda?"

"That'd be her."

He didn't even look up from his papers as he nodded towards the door. You tried not to jump at the sight of the VERY tall woman that just walked in. She was SO much taller than you, and with muscles that big, she looked like she could beat your shit in with just her pinky. But with a pretty face like that, you just might-

"Uh. Yeah. Hi. That's me. I got one of your slip things."

She handed you a pink slip, and you recognized it immediately. You handed it to your receptionist, and motioned for her to follow you. Past the sauna, past the aromatherapy room, you kept catching her eyes wandering here and there.

"In here, if you will."

You let her into the room, shutting the door behind you both. She took a look around.

"It's. Nice in here."

"Thank you,"

You say as you put a fresh, clean sheet on the table.

"I take pride in it. Now, you can put your clothes in the bin, right at the end of the table there. Would you like me to fold them for you?"

She turned to you, looking confused.

"My...clothes?"

"Yes. You want a full body massage. I can't do that with all your clothes on."

"Oh. That's. News."

She looked so uncertain, the poor thing.

"I take it it's your first time. Don't worry, it's fine, seeing people without their clothes is nothing to me."

"I've just. You know. Never taken off my clothes in front of someone before."

"Well it's not like I'm going to see anything new, honey."

You meant it as a joke, but the slight red to her face showed she was uncomfortable. But, she seemed to not want to waste her ticket, so she did it. You wanted to tell her there was a closet, just in case she preferred that, but. Well. You caught yourself watching. She was tall, and built like a church. Head to toe in well defined muscles, and very soft, almost baby looking skin. You've seen muscles in men before, but something about these were just. Far more impressive. You watched as the upper part of her dress came off, then the skirt.

She was in her underclothes now. Cute, purple underwear, and a bra to match. She folded her clothes, before turning to you.

"Does uh. EVERYTHING need to come off?"

Muscles in her calves, big, firm biceps, a well defined core, she could kick any man's ass, but her face really gave off 'I want a hug' vibes. You shrugged as you leaned against your counter space behind you.

"You can keep those on. But I'd recommend against that, since I'll be using oils."

Luisa hesitated, before taking everything else off. She had such big, broad shoulders, with tits to match. They were large, but they didn't look too much. It was funny, how such strength looked so delicate simultaneously. You tried not to glance at her somewhat hairy crotch as she put her clothes away, especially as she tried to cover herself.

"So uh, what next?"

"Oh just lay down right here."

The table creaked a bit as she got settled in, and you hoped it didn't make her feel self conscious. You covered her butt with a towel, and you noticed that while she was still stiff, that made her look a bit more comfortable. Not by much, but you were sure she'd sink into it. You leaned a bit to catch her face in her arms, and it almost felt like she was trying to hide it. It was cute.

"I need you to put her arms down for me, honey. To your sides. There we go! Now, imma put on some music to help you. The first time is always weird, but you'll get into it."

You put on some light music, just so the room wasn't silent. You brought your little cart of things you'll need over to her. Things like hot rags, warm oil, some water, nothing crazy.

"You uh. Really don't mind seeing people without their clothes all day?"

"Not really. We're all more or less the same. Though, between you and me, your hair is definitely prettier than anyone else's who's walked in here. You do it yourself?"

You fiddled with one if the baby hairs, and you were surprised at just how SOFT it felt. She nodded.

"For the most part. Sometimes my dad does it, if he feels like it."

"Aw, a daddy's girl. How cute."

You didn't need to see her face for you to tell she was blushing a bit. You poured the warm oil onto your palms, but didn't touch her JUST yet.

"I'm just messing with you honey. Er, I'm sorry, I should be using your actual name-"

"No. I mean uh. I like Honey."

You could just eat her up. You grinned, oiled and skilled hands more than ready for such a big canvas.

"Alright, honey. I'm gonna touch you now, alright? You tell me if you're uncomfortable at any point, or of you need anything."

She gave a thumbs up, and you chuckled. You put your hands on her shoulders, just so she could get a feel for your touch. She didn't flinch, didn't kick or scream, and that was always a good sign. You gently let your hands slide down her shoulders and down her back, just to let the muscles get lightly coated in oil.

"Stuff smells nice."

"You like it? It's 'vanilla cupcake'. We sell bottles of these, as well as lotions, up front. Really helps your skin stay smooth and hydrated. Not that you need it though, your skin is GORGEOUS."

You watched her squirm a bit. She tried not to, for you to work, but you could tell you made her flushed.

"Uhm. Thanks. You compliment everyone like this?"

"Only if they deserve it. And someone should praise you, you take care of your body. Like, look at these muscles! I've had men WISH they could bulk up like you."

You got started for real dow, digging your palms into her upper arms, getting a feel of those huge muscles. So firm, so easy to touch and caress. She chuckled. You could tell compliments on her muscles were far more common.

"Now THAT I've heard before. Proud of 'em too, helps me help the town."

"I can imagine you do a lot of heavy lifting."

You let your hands run down her arms, right to her wrist, lathering it up in oil. She nodded, and you noticed she was far more relaxed, almost limp.

"Kinda yeah. Just yesterday I helped bring my neighbors donkeys back into the barn. They get out a lot."

"Oh you herded them?"

Luisa snorted.

"Nope. They're stubborn as. Well. Donkeys. I carried them."

"...like, one at a time?"

"No? All of them. Why waste time like that? It was only ten of 'em."

You let your palms dig into her shoulders, and you tried not to whistle.

"Geez honey-show me your work out routine!"

"Can give you some private work out sessions if you want. Could be fun."

Maybe you were reading too much into it. Maybe it was the fact that your oiled hands caressed her frame, fingertips brushing against her breasts. But to you, it sounded like a date.

"You offer that to all the girls?"

"Only the ones that have seen me naked."

You tried not to roar in laughter. She was funny, she was cute, a little shy. You really liked that your palms pressed deep into her shoulders. You REALLY wanted to keep touching her.

"You must be a real big hit with the ladies. Not to pry, but just HOW happy is your girlfriend?"

You meant it as a joke, only for her to lightly shake her head.

"Don't have one."

"Boyfriend?"

"Nope. I mean, I've had people ask, but nothing really permanent. So...you're kinda the ONLY one who's seen me naked. I'm sorry, that's probably like a lot of-mmph."

You pushed REALLY hard on a spot in between her giant shoulder blades, really putting your weight into it. And apparently, she needed that, given the slight crack you heard. Her body was so hard to work with, not wanting to give you the satisfaction of a response, but it was still delightful. Especially when you were rewarded with an almost limp Luisa.

"No no. Not too much. I asked, you answered. Consider me honored. You have a delightful body to work with. So soft, but FIRM. It's like it's fighting me to relax. You're fascinating."

She didn't say anything in response, probably because she wasn't used to it, from what you could tell. You let her have her silence as your hands, firm yet kind, dug into her back. It trailed lower, lower, stopping just above that towel. There wasn't any tension left in those muscles of hers, and you felt good, knowing you could get a bundle of nerves like this to calm down. You kept pushing, kept rubbing, kept lathering. Her whole body was glistening In oil now, making her look like. Well. An absolute snack. You could think these things, you were a professional. Kinda.

"Hey uh. Could you do the hands too?"

"Hmm? Oh did I forgot those? My bad, honey."

You held onto one hand, digging your thumbs into her palms. It was so soft, not a single scratch on it. She had no business, having baby smooth hands to go with such strength. You made sure her hands were properly coated in oil, just enough for your hands to glide smoothly across hers. They were so big, but you no longer saw them as weapons. They were tools, for working, for holding. You switched to her other hand, and you heard a light groan escape her lips. Her hands and her arms were apparently in much need of that contact you were giving.

"That. Feels really good. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't think I'd like this."

"Oh a lot of people tell me that. I get it, the idea is uncomfortable. A stranger's oily hands touching your body like this. But, I'm proud of you for giving me a try. You're such a strong girl."

There was a pause. You thought for a minute, you hit a nerve, when cracking her knuckles seemed to force her words out of her.

"Would you uh. Say I'm good?"

She probably meant something else. Definitely not what you were thinking. But you still massaged the back of her hand, and gave it to her.

"You're a good girl, honey."

She couldn't see her face, given where it was resting, but you could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. Oh, she LIKED that. You put her hands back down to her sides, moving to her legs. They were just as strong as the rest of her, just as smooth. Your hands ran down her legs, right to the ankles. So slow, so careful, as if all this muscle would break in your grip.

"I'm gonna bend your legs a bit, tell me if anything hurts."

You took one foot, and pushed it till the ankle touched her butt. You counted to ten, before letting it go. You did the same to the other, hearing a faint groan come from her lips. You moved to her toes, doing the same thing for her hands. Rubbing, oiling, cracking. Her groans were a bit more frequent now, and you sighed in relief, not needing to use so much force to work with her. Like yarn, she was slowly starting to untangle and unravel. You finished her feet, before getting up to those glutes. They felt good, being under the mercy of your thumbs and your fingers.

"You're hot."

"W-what?"

"You're hot. Your skin is burning up. Do you need some water?"

"Oh. Uh. No, I'm. Good. Just keep going, please."

Such manners, using please. You continued, despite how her skin was quickly getting warmer.

"Let me know if this is too much, honey."

Your hands drifted up those legs further and further, pushing the towel. Not too much, just to expose her, just a bit. And you were oh so surprised to see that she was wet. Wet, and leaking a bit onto the sheet below. No one had seen her like this, touched her like this. And she wanted it, she craved for it.

"Hey uh, lady?"

"'Ma'am' works fine, honey."

"Uh. Right. Ma'am. I was gonna say if you uh. Think the towel is annoying, you can take it off. I'm comfortable."

Such a brave girl. You peeled off the towel, throwing it to the side. So full, so plump, she could smother someone with it. You let your fingertips kiss the skin, and you swore she was trying to push herself into your touch. Impatient.

"You want me to touch you here?"

"Y-yeah."

"Say it. I need to hear it. To be on the same page, of course."

She hesitated. Luisa was a good girl, she wasn't used to being so bad by saying something so lewd.

"Can you please touch me...there?"

Good enough. You poured a good amount of oil onto your hands, before letting it spill gently over her ass. You were careful, you were patient with her. You let your hands spread the warm oil around, thumbs almost digging into her cheeks as your hands softly went back and forth. Then, you placed each on on each of her cheeks, and started to rub circles into her flesh. Slow, rhythmic. It was cute, watching your now slight of touch make her squirm. Her breath was louder now, occasionally hitching, her shoulders were trying to stay still.

"Good girl, honey. Staying so still to let me work. How's it feeling?"

"Good. Yep. Good. Great. Totally not like, REALLY fucking good-i'm gonna stop now."

You chuckled. Oh she was still NERVOUS. It was like a big bad kitty being scared of a little mouse. You started to push her cheeks together, before spreading them, and doing it again and again, taunting her with the idea that you were going to touch her. You were tempted, really. It was wet, it was twitching, it was so cute looking.

But you weren't good like Luisa.

"Do me a favor, honey, get on your back."

You pulled your hand away, and although she shook a bit, she obeyed. You walked up to where her head was, looming over her. Such a nice chest, with such hard nipples. You peered down at her face, and she struggled to meet your eyes. She was nervous, and her big walls were crumbling down before you.

"It's uh. Hot in here."

It was a lame excuse for her red cheeks, but you'll take it, to save her a bit of embarrassment. You chuckled, giving her cheek a light pat. Oh even her cheeks were soft.

"Oh I understand. Now, same thing, tell me if you're uncomfortable."

You scooped up some more oil, leaning over her to start pouring it all along her frame. You tried not to giggle as she totally didn't look at your chest during this, before putting your hands on her shoulders. So big, and broad, like she was born to protect. Your hands wandered down her arms again, mainly so you could let her look at your chest. She definitely enjoyed a nice set of breasts. You couldn't falt her though, you did too.

"Hey uh. You might wanna go a little softer on these. They're uh. Sensitive."

"Oh are they, now?"

Your hands slid down to her breasts. They felt so soft in your hands, gliding your fingers across them was an absolute delight. You gave the flesh a light squeeze, and watched as her back arched. So sensitive, you couldn't stand it. Even when your oiled up fingertips just gently played with the nipples, she was struggling to keep still. Her eyes were shut now, and she was biting her bottom lip. Her oiled hands ran over her frame;past her tits, down the toned stomach, to the thighs. You kept doing this rhythmically, just making the poor thing melt underneath you.

You gave her a few close calls, your fingertips just kissing her pubic hair. And everytime, she would brace herself, and recieve nothing. You did it over and over, till the poor girl was whimpering.

"Is this sensitive too?"

You asked, right before your oiled fingers dipped between her legs, and gently slid over her soaking wet folds. She gasped, opening her eyes to look at your hand. You let her watch as your hand slid up and down, up and down, and then, she moaned. It was a moan that had been begging to be let out, begging for just a bit of a touch to let it free. Her chest was rising and falling, her lips trembled as she let out breathy exhales. You didn't do anything, aside from gently rubbing her, and yet, it looked like she wanted to cum.

But you weren't a good girl. Not like Luisa. You pulled away, and pulled both your shirt, and your top off, before swinging a leg over her, cradling her hips.

"W-whats happening-"

She got your question answered when you laid down on her, slowly running your body up and down her big, strong, oiled up frame. You stared right into her eyes during this, and just as you thought, she was getting off to it.

"Shh. It's okay. I got you, honey. Imma take good care of you. You just relax, and keep looking pretty for me."

She was so adorable when she was flustered. So adorable that she was so nervous, watching your tits slowly rub against hers. Nipple against nipple, you were too much for this poor, sensitive girl. So much so, she couldn't resist leaning forward, and kissing you. You definitely weren't expecting that, but you weren't going to say no. You weren't going to refuse such soft lips, or eager tongue. The kisses were slow, but still so loud in this normally quiet room. And so were her moans, given that you were now rubbing her folds in little circles. She pulled away in surprise, legs trying oh so hard to stay open for you.

"I w-wouldnt do that, I tend to cum like, REALLY quick a-and your fingers are in me."

She said in disbelief, as you introduced one, then two fingers into her. Next thing you knew, you were snuggled up to her, holding her face in one hand for her to recieve jaw kisses, with your other hand furiously fingering her. You were careful, but you didn't have to. Not when her mouth was open with her moans, not when her body kept squirming and wanting more and more. She was loud. Not because she was proud of it, but because it genuinely felt SO good to her.

"Oh you're gonna cum, aren't you, honey? You wanna cum on my pretty fingers?"

She nodded very quickly, taking a second to swallow.

"I wanna c-cum ma'am, please. Please please please."

Her inner walls felt SO good. You could sit here and finger her forever. But she deserved to cum. So, you added rubbing her clit to the emotions, and you cooed against her skin.

"Cum for me, like a good girl."

And that she did. You were sure everyone heard her cry out as she tightened around your fingers. You kept fingering her quickly through her orgasm, filling the room with such loud, wet sounds. When she finally finished, she went limp in your hands. She looked exhausted, sweat over her nude frame and hair quickly escaping her soft lips. You pulled your soaked fingers out of you, watching as it ran down your arm. She looked at it sheepishly.

"Sorry about the...me-"

"Open."

You made her open her mouth, before shoving your fingers inside. She took on immediately, holding your wrist in order to sweetly suck and lick all the mess away. Poor girl eye's look as if they just melted you for you. You chuckled.

"I'm VERY much looking forward to having you visit us again, and very, very soon~"

[hereticpridevinyl]

Ok I finished your gay!dean manifesto and SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I am incabible of putting words together and sounding coherent cause my brain is melting from my ears and psalms 40:2 has gone and replaced it. Gonna think about it for life but honestly it’s made me such a gay!dean stan now! Can I hear more of your thoughts on it and just why cause it’s so big-brained snd there but I feel like my head has been caved in by the concept cause how tf am i only seeing this NOW???

first of all, i'm so glad you enjoyed my fic! thanks for reading :)

as for the gay dean brainrot... WELCOME BESTIE, JOIN US! gonna preface this all by saying that i adore every sexuality headcanon for dean (except straight—vile energy. evil, even, and wrong) and as a bi person i would be remiss if i didn't acknowledge how wonderful bi dean is. however. HOWEVER.

(under the cut because this got away from me enormously)

i've talked about this a lot on twitter, and i know a lot of people have said this more eloquently than i, but i'll try to sum up my thoughts here.

the way dean is into women is so incredibly performative that often it can't help but be read as an act. there's almost a routine to it: dean meets Beautiful Woman, dean flirts with Beautiful Woman, dean (sometimes, but not always) sleeps with Beautiful Woman, dean pats himself on the back for fulfilling his role of Most Hetero Man In America. it's as if being into women is another aspect of his job, another skill he was taught and forced to utilize, much the same way he was taught to hunt. in early seasons, dean's interactions with woman quickly gain a stale, rote sort of taste. we as the audience expect dean will hit on any attractive woman he sees; dean as a character seems to expect it of himself. there's no anticipation behind these interactions. they're predictable and often lead nowhere—especially if dean thinks the woman is unattainable. dean's hot-blooded all-american cishet lady's man persona is just that—a persona.

we see the cracks in this persona most often during moments that are ostensibly played for laughs. haha, dean likes a show about a sexy male doctor! he gets flustered when he's around the lead haha! he's so masculine and straight and tough but he falls apart when his favorite wrestler shakes his hand and winks at him! he can't form a coherent sentence when he thinks this man is flirting with him, and he's so flustered that he doesn't try to stop it haha! he's psyching himself up for this hookup with a woman because it's funny if he's not confident! look, he likes wearing panties and his comfy bed and cooking for his family and dressing up like a cowboy but those are all things he does in private because he's actually very straight and manly! see? in an effort to make dean seem incontrovertibly heterosexual, his character becomes a parody of himself. these brief moments that we're supposed to laugh at become tragic; watching dean winchester perform his compulsory heterosexuality becomes a waiting game, seeking out those flashes of his true self, his most genuine self, from-moment-to moment.

and then something insane happens: post-season 12, dean stops hooking up with women at all.

his hookups had been waning in the two or three seasons leading up to this point, but after s12 he stops trying completely. it's as if that aggressive need to perform this learned role eventually died out. he just... stops. late seasons dean is a man who would rather stay home and watch lost boys with his husband and his brother and their son for the millionth time than have sex with a woman he's never going to see again. this is who he becomes—and the show forgets to make us laugh this time.

and we all know that supernatural has a disease that almost always keeps them from writing women well—all marginalized groups, actually, but that's a topic for another rambling post—which could be a significant factor as to why dean's most compelling romance-coded relationships are with men, but it can't be the only reason. sam's relationships with women are frequently interesting to watch, and if not groundbreaking, they seem natural. there isn't anything forced or performative about sam being into a woman. obviously the brothers are very different people and cannot be compared one-to-one, but there's definitely something to be said about sam's lack of go crazy go stupid hot girl summer star-crossed lovers cas-benny-crowley situation that dean's got going on at all times.

in my opinion, the best chemistry dean has with a woman is charlie—and while that's very strictly platonic seeing as she's a whole lesbian and probably wouldn't go for dean even if she wasn't, it's undeniable that there's just something intoxicating about watching them on screen together. while i might be biased with this analysis, i think it's worth pointing out: it's like dean's letting out a breath he's been holding his whole life when he's with her. because he knows she's unavailable, he knows there's no world in which she'd be into him, and therefore he doesn't have to bother putting on his macho straight dude persona. he doesn't have to go through the motions of hitting on her, or sleeping with her, because it's out of the question. he can be himself. turns out, "himself" is a huge fucking nerd who likes to pretend he's someone he isn't and hang out with a woman because he loves being her friend and not any other reason. the axe of heterosexuality is no longer hanging over his head.

there's a throwaway interaction way back in s2e11 that sums this up more succinctly than i can:

DEAN: of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?

SAM: well, you are kinda butch. probably think you're overcompensating.

DEAN: (pause) right.

we've got some splendid jacting here where dean gets control of the vessel for a moment and sort of nervously smiles at sam, a sad kind of scoff that just gets me. here's another moment where we're supposed to laugh, but there's nothing funny about the way dean reacts to sam's words. there's no overblown anger, there's no begrudging laugh, he doesn't roll his eyes. he just smiles. looks down. doesn't argue.

[ahhhsami]

I really like what you said the other day in response to someone who mistakenly thought Asami was white. I do have some comments on another part of her identity you mentioned in that response. Hear me out, but I don't think that it is fair to say Asami is not a lesbian. She could be. She could also be bi or pan.

Lots of lesbians date men before coming out. This is due to compulsory heterosexuality or comphet which basically means societal pressures makes women feel compelled to be attracted to men. Yes, the society in Avatar is different. However, in Turf Wars it is explained that homophobia does exist in this world, so it would make sense that people would be closetted or take longer to figure things out. In the comic, Asami is also nervous to tell Korra's parents about their relationship because of this homophobia. Kya even explains that the fire nation is the most homophobic of the nations. The fire nation helped form Republic City and Asami is ethnically fire nation. Therefore, this influence would definitely be present in her life which could make her feel compelled to date men.

I'm not saying that Korra or Asami are definitely lesbians, but they could be. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's never explicitly stated if they are lesbians or bisexuals in Avatar or any real world official media. Therefore, they could be either of them. If a lesbian sees some of themselves in the characters and projects their identity a little bit, there is nothing wrong with that. If a bisexual sees some of themselves in the characters and projects their identity a little bit, there is nothing wrong with that. I don't think it's erasure to say that they could be either, but it is erasure to say they can't be one of them.

I'm a transgender lesbian. I strongly identity with most of Korra's traits. We have very similar, flaws and strengths. She feels like the only person I have ever identified with in media. One of the many ways I relate to Korra is her roamances. One time I dated one of my best friends, a straight man. At first I was head over heels and extremely excited. I saw a future with us. After several months I kept saying stuff like, "This part of our relationship would be better if I was with a woman," and stuff like that. Just like Korra in season 2, I started getting angry at him very easily, sometimes over nothing. We love board games, but couldn't finish one without someone getting pissy. I eventually realized that I couldn't do this anymore and I told him I made a mistake and that I'm not attracted to men. We are still very good friends and if I could be attracted to men, he would be the perfect boyfriend for me. Sometimes I think Korra is a lesbian like me. Sometimes, I think she's bi and just Makko wasn't a good fit. Either way is a perfectly fine way to think about it. No matter what, she is a badass sapphic and I'm glad we can all be inspired by her in some way.

Hey first off, I want to thank you for sending this and being really awesome about the way you've approached this. You don't always see it on tumblr, so it's much appreciated!

There's a lot you've said, so instead of responding completely line for line, I'm just going to write my complete opinion about this and hopefully it makes sense.

Bryke had made two official statements after the airing of the show, none that overtly say that they are bisexual, but it is heavily implied, especially in Bryan's statement which is the first post linked (x)(x). As quoted by Bryan, "Despite what you might have heard, bisexual people are real!"

Comphet is a legitimate issue in the world today, but I personally never got that feeling from Korra or Asami (through the series or comics). I believed that their relationships with Mako were genuine and it just didn't work out (all of them being the issue, not just Mako, lol). But again, that is my own personal viewpoint.

Erasure is the thing that I want to tackle most and hopefully I can do that cohesively and in an understandable way. The idea of labeling and identities on a personal standpoint is fluid and is on a spectrum. As a person, you don't need to label yourself or you can label yourself if you'd like, you can be as you are and that's okay. Personally, I identify as Queer because Bisexual does fit me, but just not completely in the way I'd like it to. Pan doesn't fit quite right, neither does Lesbian. So, thus I label myself as Queer leaning towards Bisexual tendencies.

But this idea and concept of labeling is very different when it comes to media and it's not focused on a real life person and their experiences. Labeling in media is important and that is because of positive representation in society. Often times, bisexual characters are portrayed in negative ways, so when there is positive portrayal and representation, this is important to the nth degree. Korra and Asami also weren't just side characters, they were main characters. So to have a clearly positive portrayal of bisexual characters on a mainstream show, that was huge. On top of this, this was a children's show, so to be a little kid or even someone older, finally seeing someone that is like you would be a significant moment in your life. This is honestly another reason why I love Korrasami so much, because of my own struggles with identity.

This all can be countered with the idea that they're lesbians and wouldn't that be good representation too? Yes, it would be, but it also wouldn't be as significant when taking into account all of TV/Film media.

If we breakdown and take in all of the positive representation of Lesbians vs Bisexuals, it would be more significant for them to be bisexual in a time where there was little to no good bisexual representation. In 2013 '64.7 percent of inclusive films included gay male characters. 23.5 percent included lesbian characters, and 17.7 percent contained bisexual characters.' Presently, on cable TV 34% of regular and recurring LGBTQ characters were lesbian and 18% of regular and recurring LGBTQ characters were bisexual. On streaming, lesbian representation makes up 28% and bisexual representation makes up 19%. These numbers don't even break down if it's positive representation either! So again, although real life sexuality is fluid or can be on a spectrum, media labeling is more rigid and representative of a specific area. Making it extremely significant and influential when there is a character labeled a specific way, bisexual in this case.

To this day, people still deny that bisexual people exist. Often times the debate is whether a person is gay or straight, but nothing more. So erasure is a big deal and claiming that Korra or Asami are lesbians can be detrimental in ways that people may not have thought of at first. People can obviously identify with a character and feel attachment to them, but there is no reason to not feel that attachment if their sexual orientation may differ from your own.

[everlarkficexchange]

Hold Me Up

Prompt 42. Group of friends. Economic disaster, no jobs; eventually in desperation someone in the group suggests making a porno for $, the idea takes off, as they work on a script and put out ideas, a lot becomes clear, like who has kinks, who has tried a lot, and that one is an inexperienced virgin. Does the writing experience have consequences to the group dynamic, will they actually film and sell it, will they stay friends? Are any couples or siblings part of the group? Are secrets revealed through brainstorming?

Submitted by @567inpanem

Author: JLaLa

Rated M

Summary: “What the hell are you suggesting?” Gale asked.

“I thought it was obvious,” the woman next to him said. “I’m suggesting we make a porno.”

Strapped for cash, a group of friends—plus two strangers—decide to go all out.

Multiple pairings, and of course, Everlark. 

“Hold me up in the palm of your hand Lying to you is a river of sin Your metaphors, your silent calls Your feelings are too real…”

                                                -Live

Hold Me Up

Part One

Katniss closed her eyes as the rush of hot water hit her face. It had been a hell of a day.

Her boss cut her hours at the record store due to the lack of sales. She had done everything short of offering to blow the man—wouldn’t have worked, he was gay—to get as many hours as possible. However, everyone was suffering due to Panem’s economic disaster and Heavensbee’s hands were tied.

All she wanted to do tonight was eat the leftover Chinese in the fridge, binge watch Bridgerton for the hundredth time and use her vibrator until she climaxed to the image of Simon Basset eating her out—

“Katniss!” There was a quick knock before the door opened. “Sorry, but I have to piss like a racehorse—”

She pulled back the shower curtain to the sight of her roommate and friend, Peeta, unzipping his jeans.

“Seriously, couldn’t you do that somewhere else? Like, maybe get a plastic cup or do it in the sink?”

“Last time I did, Gale totally flipped out on me,” her friend replied. “It’s not like you haven’t seen my dick before. You’ve seen it plenty of times, most of the time it was erect.”

The peril of living with two boys was that you always seemed surrounded by morning wood…any kind of wood really.

“Fine.” Katniss closed the curtain. “Try not to be loud about it though.”

“How am I loud while I pee?”

“‘Oooh fuck, finally…I’ve been holding that in all day!’ Katniss mimicked mockingly. “You’d think that you were doing something else instead of emptying your bladder.”

“Honestly, sometimes a good pee is better than sex,” Peeta retorted. “I don’t think that I’ll be able to stop it once it starts so just sing something really loud or you’ll be hearing me hitting the porcelain pretty hard.”

Katniss walked under the shower to rinse her hair and belted out the first song that came to her.

“I got a new life

You would hardly recognize me

I’m so glad

How could a person like me care for you?

Why, why do I bother

When you’re not the one for me

Is enough enough?”

“I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes…” Peeta sang along and Katniss giggled hearing his melodic baritone. “I saw the sign…life is demanding without understanding—”

“We should start a group,” she offered as she turned the nozzle and the water stopped. “Especially since I’ll likely be laid off soon.”

“Oh shit! I’m sorry, Katniss.” A hand peeked through the curtain, holding a towel and she took it, quickly wrapping it around herself. “We’re all taking it up the butt, aren’t we?”

She pulled back the curtain and stepped out. “What do you mean?”

“Haymitch and Effie will probably have to close down with everything happening,” he informed her. “The rent for the bakery space is just too much for them. I mean, we still have our regulars, but they’re not making enough to pay me to make a dozen danishes and scones.”

“That sucks.” Peeta was still wearing his apron around his waist, a red bandana covering his blond locks, along with his usual baking uniform of a fitted white tee and jeans. “I know how much you love that job. Not to mention, Haymitch and Effie are pretty kickass.”

“Well, at least we have Gale,” her friend replied as he opened the door, letting her step out first before putting a companionable arm around her waist. “Old reliable Gale—”

There was a cough and they found Gale sitting on their couch lighting up their emergency joint.

This was bad.

++++++

“My whole department was pretty much eliminated,” Gale explained once he stepped out of his daze. “They led us in, one by one, into that small office and gave us the whole spiel about making cutbacks before handing us our severance checks. This will hold me for about six months of my piece of the rent—”

“This is probably the worst time to tell you,” Katniss started. “But Heavensbee reduced my hours at the store and I’ll probably be getting the boot soon.”

“Effie and Haymitch can’t afford to keep me at the bakery,” Peeta told him. “They’re also likely to lose the business, too.”

Gale nodded, elbows on his knees and hands clasped together. “Well, we’re fucked.”

“Now there’s that positive attitude that we know and love,” a sharp feminine voice said.

The three looked up to find the rest of their friends stepping into the apartment led by Johanna, who lived across the hall from them. Madge, her roommate, followed in with a pizza box and the group was finished out with Finnick, who lived downstairs and was—until today—Gale’s teammate.

“Well, we’re fucked!” Gale repeated, his voice hitching up at the end. He looked to Johanna. “Good enough?”

“We’re all getting it,” Madge said, sitting next to him calmly. “The Forever 21 I’m working at is closing. So, I’m screwed, and I won’t even have severance like you and Finnick.”

“I have thousands of dollars in debt over the camera equipment I just bought,” Finnick told her. “I’m supposed to be working on my documentary.” Their friend was a budding director. “Now, I’ll be using the rest of my severance to pay it off.”

Johanna plopped down in their lone seat, putting her feet on the table.

“Not that I don’t love you guys, but I’ve been out of a job for months, so your sob stories mean nothing to me,” she said. Grabbing the joint, their friend took a long inhale and breathe out in relief. “The job market is non-existent at this point.”

“God, maybe I should’ve pushed on blowing Heavensbee,” Katniss muttered.

Finnick snorted. “What?”

“He’s gay, but probably not getting any,” she replied, next to Peeta. “If you close your eyes, it feels the same.”

“You might have something there,” Johanna suddenly said, her oak eyes contemplative.

Peeta glared at her. “Not funny. You really want Katniss turning tricks for rent?”

“Hardly,” their friend replied. “No offense—” Johanna looked to Katniss. “—you alone have no sex appeal, and this is coming from a full-fledged lesbian.” She turned to Madge. “She would—with the pouty lips and the big titties. Not to mention those golden locks. Put a little red hood on her and you’ll have those Fairy Tale freaks begging to see what’s underneath.”

Katniss crossed her arms. “Well, thank you for telling me that I’m undesirable.”

“I didn’t say that.” Johanna looked between Katniss and Peeta. “I said you alone would have no sex appeal but put you with him—” She nodded at Peeta. “—or her.” A hand waved over at Madge. “People will pay big money to see that. A nice little ying and yang.”

“What the hell are you suggesting?” Gale asked.

“I thought it was obvious,” the woman next to him said. “I’m suggesting we make a porno.”

++++++

Several beers in, the idea started to make sense.

“Babe, if this thing took off, we could pay off the camera equipment,” Annie, Finnick’s fiancée, said. She had joined them a little after the major freak out over Johanna’s idea. “Also, you could get some experience in handling the equipment and I could get experience with the boom mic.”

“That is true,” Finnick mused.

“Guys, do you know how many different types of porn there is out there? How would we make one that people would be interested in?” Gale asked. His voice had taken on a rough slur, five bottles in, as he leaned against a drunken Madge.

“Simple,” Johanna smirked. “We do our research. This neighborhood is full of not-so-reputable places; it’s why rent used to be freakishly low. We can ask what men and women would like to see. Also, we’re all decent looking.”

“What about the fact that you’re talking about us having sex with each other?” Peeta asked, eyes bloodshot. Katniss laid on his lap, singing along to the music on her phone. “No offense, but I don’t want to have sex with you. You scare me a little.”

“Well, who would you want to have sex with?” Madge asked with a buzzed grin.

“Easy.” Peeta looked at the giggling woman on his lap. “Katniss.”

“Really now?” Finnick leaned forward in interest. “Why her?”

“I’m comfortable with her,” he explained. “We were each other’s first kiss, granted we were only five—but also, she’s seen my dick plenty of times.”

Katniss drunkenly waved her finger at him. “I’m not scared of it…”

“Dude, why aren’t you together?” Annie asked.

Peeta shrugged. “Seemed better to stay friends.”

“Those two are such chickens,” Gale called out. “They just tiptoe…and tiptoe…and it’s all like ‘I think Katniss is beautiful’…or ‘I want to have Peeta’s babies’…and I’m just like why don’t you just fuck already?”

“Fine.” Katniss slid onto the floor and held her hand out, palm down. “We’ll do this. I get to fuck Peeta because everyone is so invested…but we all have to be in this.” She looked at the rest of the group, her eyes landing on Peeta. “Do we agree?”

Johanna placed her hand over Katniss’. “I’m in.”

Madge followed immediately. “Me, too.”

“Fine,” Gale muttered before his hand landed on the pile.

“We’re down,” Finnick said, adding his hand.

“But only as the filmmakers,” Annie added before placing her hand on top of her fiancé’s.

Katniss looked to Peeta; nervousness laced in her grey eyes. “And you?”

He examined her, almost losing himself in her gaze before placing his hand down to seal the pact.

“Let’s do this.”

++++++

“Do you like oral?” Katniss asked the scantily-clad waitress. “Giving? Getting?”

“Yes, to both,” the pretty blonde answered.

Johanna and Gale had gotten to work quickly, both making up the questionnaire that they were using for research. While that was happening, Annie and Finnick put up an ad looking for available actors and actresses to add to their production.

Two days ago, their questionnaire had revealed that threesomes, double penetration, and girl-on-girl were high on the list. Unfortunately, they didn’t know who would be doing what except for Katniss and Peeta.

“And anal?” Katniss continued as Peeta joined her at the table.

“Sure,” the woman answered. “I’m pretty open. Me and my ex used to film ourselves all the time.” She looked at the two. “You two looking for tips?”

“Maybe,” Katniss replied. She turned to Peeta. “Did you want anything?”

“Coke, please,” he told the woman. “I’m still recovering from the past few days.”

“Coke for him and a Lagavulin for me,” Katniss told the waitress.

“You like the good stuff.” She gave Katniss a saucy wink. “I’ll be right back with your drinks. I’m Delly, by the way.”

“Katniss.” Katniss gestured over at Peeta, who gave Delly a light wave. “Peeta.”

She nodded. “Nice meeting you.”

As soon as Delly walked away, Katniss turned to her friend. “What do you think?”

“Decent rack, sweet face, and she has experience apparently,” Peeta replied. “Thoughts on having her on the team?”

“Well, she seems friendly,” Katniss replied. She eyed him. “Would you do her?”

“If I had to…sure,” her friend replied. “How about you?”

“Me and Delly?” Katniss looked to the woman at the bar, awaiting their drinks. She was pretty with wavy, shoulder-length hair and wide eyes. Not to mention, her body was banging—the bejeweled bustier made her breasts look incredible—and her personality was easy. “Sure. Why not? I mean it will make me more…desirable.”

“Are you still pissed off that?” Peeta asked. “Johanna loves to rile you up.”

“I hate that she can.” Katniss sighed. “Are we really going to do this?”

“Haven’t you ever been curious?” Peeta’s gaze fell warmly on her. “How it might feel like between me and you?”

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “We kissed that one time, but nothing came of it. I thought maybe you didn’t like it…or me.”

“I do like you. I love you.” Peeta reached for her, pulling her onto his lap. “I guess we were just both too scared to explore what kind of love we could’ve had.”

Her arms wove around his neck as Katniss pressed her forehead to his. “I love you and I like you, too.”

“Your drinks, lovebirds.” Delly approached them, a bright smile on her face. “Anything else I can get you?”

“Actually.” Katniss stood up, pulling out the business card with Johanna’s number on it. “I have a proposition for you.”

++++++

“What are your special skills?” Johanna asked as she looked over Delly’s resume.

Delly gave the group a bright smile, her eyes landing on Katniss with a wink.

The group gathered the following day for auditions for the two additional actors at Finnick and Annie’s place.

Currently, Annie and Peeta were reviewing resumes and headshots in the hallway while the rest of them assessed the auditions.

The group had agreed to hold them at Finnick and Annie’s since it looked the most professional. The couple’s apartment was stylishly decorated thanks to Annie’s chic but budget-friendly taste—most of their furnishings from Target and IKEA.

“Can you look into the camera?” Finnick asked from where he stood in the center of the living room.

“Sure.” Delly looked straight into the camera, smiling into it. “Well…I can do a handstand and suck dick at the same time.”

“Can we see?” Madge asked from where she stood next to Finnick.

“The sucking dick part or the headstand?”

“How about we just see how it looks?” Finnick suggested. “Have Annie bring the next male audition in.”

Gale stood from his seat. “I’m on it.” He quickly came back, followed by a tall, dark-skinned man who flashed them all a handsome smile. “Everyone, this is Thresh. Thresh, why don’t you join Delly in front of the camera?”

“Sure,” he said easily and walked over to Delly, holding out his hand. “I’m Thresh.”

Delly shook it, her mouth widening in a grin. “Delly.”

“Okay, whenever you’re ready,” Johanna told the two.

Nodding, Delly bent over, pressing her palms to the floor. Then as she steadied, the woman easily lifted her hips…then her legs…before straightening them, her toes pointing in the air.

“Amazing,” Madge whispered.

Next to her, Gale nodded in agreement.

Katniss stood from her seat, going to Finnick, and looked at the camera’s viewfinder.

Delly and Thresh made a strikingly good couple on camera. They were at ease, chatting as if Delly wasn’t in front of the man’s crotch and at a perfect angle to go at his junk.

“Thresh, any special skills?” Gale asked, handing Johanna the man’s resume.

“I can get an erection on command,” Thresh told them.

“Okay, we all need to see this,” Johanna said. “Someone get Peeta and Annie in here.”

“Delly, you can get off your hands now,” Katniss said.

“Let me help—” Thresh held her hips as Delly eased down. As she did, the crotch of her leggings met his groin, and she wrapped her legs around his to steady herself.

“The perfect standing wheelbarrow,” Finnick remarked from behind the camera. “Bravo!”

Peeta and Annie stepped inside as Thresh helped Delly onto her feet. She smiled gratefully, kissing his cheek before dashing over to where the rest of the group was gathered.

“Even if you don’t hire me, I need to see this,” she told them.

Peeta joined Katniss’ side. “What are we looking at?”

Finnick signaled Thresh. “Whenever you’re ready.”

The man simply undid the top button of his jeans, unzipped, and holding the sides of his jeans lowered them down.

Taking a deep breath, the man closed his eyes, as the group watched his cock—a rather thick one—go from half-mast to full in less than a minute.

“Well, that deserves some applause,” Peeta told everyone and began to clap.

The group quickly joined in, but not before hiring both Delly and Thresh.

++++++

“Okay, two things,” Gale announced, going to the easel and whiteboard that he had set up in their living room. He wrote out ‘Location’ and ‘Plot’. “First, location. Any thoughts?”

“We can’t just do it in one of our apartments?” Finnick asked.

“Would you want to sit on your living room couch thinking that Johanna ate Delly out on it?” Gale asked him. “Or Katniss and Peeta on your kitchen counter—”

“True,” Annie said. “Let’s not shit where we eat.”

“Maybe we can rent out space for very cheap,” Thresh said. “I might know some club places where I work security that might be in our price range.”

They learned that Thresh was a part-time security guard and a returning student at the local community college. He was trying to get his Business degree and planned to open a gym after he graduated.

“Great idea,” Gale wrote down, ‘Thresh-club spaces’. Anyone else?”

“That bar I work at might be willing,” Delly told them. “I might have to give the owner a boost—”

“No way,” Peeta interrupted. “We don’t want you doing those kinds of favors just to get us a workspace.”

“Definitely,” Katniss agreed, smiling at the girl. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Okay, what about a plot?” Johanna went to the board. “Every porn needs one to entice an audience. Why don’t we do a round robin and everyone says one thing that turns them on? I’ll start.” She turned around and wrote on the board—‘A clean bush’.

“Doesn’t everyone like it to be clean down there?” Finnick remarked before looking to Annie. “I mean you keep it pristine—”

“No need to tell everyone about my cat, love,” his fiancée retorted.

“I mean, I don’t mind it being wild down there,’ Gale told the group. He took the marker from Johanna and scribbled, ‘Bossiness’. “I like a dominating woman.”

“Definitely a good BDSM storyline,” Madge remarked as she walked up to the board, writing ‘Rough play’. “I like manhandling and being manhandled. I worked with this guy and we use to hook up all over the office. Once after everyone left, we were going at it and he takes me and lifted me—” She mimicked her lover with her hands. “—onto the copy machine before pounding the living daylight out of me.”

Everyone stared in shock at the seemingly sweet blonde twirling a tendril of her hair.

“Come Monday, everyone was trying to figure why there were a hundred copies of someone’s bare pussy on the copy machine tray,” she said in a daze.

“Damn—” Gale swallowed harshly. “—thank you for your contribution.” His gaze went to the person sitting next to Madge. “Katniss?”

“I…I…” Katniss bowed her head. She wasn’t thrilled with everyone knowing just what got her going. However, at some point, they were all going to be seeing her being thoroughly fucked by Peeta. “I like…dirty talk.” She shifted in her seat, aware that next to her sat her soon-to-be co-star. “I don’t have any experience, but when I’m…masturbating, the voice in my head is usually whispering very depraved things in my ear.”

“Care to expand, sweetheart?” Thresh asked from where he sat across.

“Well—” Katniss folded her hands in her lap. “The voice will tell me how much he loves feeling his fingers being squeezed by my cunt, how drenched I am around his dick, how he wants to fuck me until I can’t feel my legs…sometimes he talks about fucking me in both holes…his dick in my pussy and his thumb in my asshole—”

Peeta suddenly jumped from his spot. “I’m going to grab some water from the fridge. Anyone?”

He quickly disappeared into the next room before anyone could even answer.

“You just gave Peeta a boner,” Delly cackled from her seat on the carpet. “Why aren’t you dating?”

“Because—” Katniss searched for a reason, finding herself unable to answer. “—let me check on him.”

She found him bent in front of the fridge.

He pulled back sans water and turned just as she stepped in.

“We ran out of water.” Peeta met her eyes fully, watching as she approached. “I didn’t mean to run off—”

“Peeta, what turns you on?” she found herself asking.

Katniss stopped in front of him and her gaze took her friend in—swept-back blond waves, a firm jaw, and blue eyes…hazed with arousal. They never really talked about the fact that they had admitted to their friends that they were curious about fucking one another.

To be entirely truthful, the voice in her ear, the one that spoke such deliciously sinful things—was Peeta’s voice.

She didn’t know when the mystery man had morphed into her best friend, but sometimes the image of him—in his usual uniform of a pair of jeans, a tee, and an apron—would cause a heat that threatened to burn her to the very core.

However, this precipice between friendship and whatever it was, scared her.

So, Katniss held back.

Peeta shook his head. “It’s kind of stupid.”

“I just told everyone that a mystery voice gets me wet with talk of double penetration.”

He laughed roughly. “That is true.”

Meeting her eyes, Peeta leaned back against the door of the fridge.

“I like sex in different places…the element of danger…of being caught.” His golden complexion tinged with pink. “It’s a major turn-on.”

She nodded, toeing in closer to him. “Have you ever—"

“No, just fantasies,” Peeta said. “Compared to the rest of our friends, I’m pretty daisy fresh.”

“Tell me the last place that you’ve fantasized having sex in,” Katniss said. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” he replied, his hand reaching to cup her cheek.

His thumb grazed the corner of her mouth and she resisted the urge to take it into her mouth to taste.

“The bakery.” His gaze fell to her lips. “Specifically, against one of the ovens as it’s warming up and y—whoever and I just get so caught up in the smell of sugar…of rye…and one another that we don’t know where the heat is rising from—”

Katniss suddenly straightened. “Ohmigod…the bakery.”

“What?”

“The bakery,” she repeated.

His eyes widened in realization. “The bakery.”

END OF PART ONE

This will be multiple parts, not sure how many though.

Yes, before you ask, this is loosely based on Zack and Miri Make a Porno which I think is a hilarious movie with some great music.

Speaking of music, the title comes from Live’s ‘Hold Me Up’, which was used in the soundtrack of Zack and Miri. It also plays during a pivotal scene.

Other music used: ‘The Sign’-Ace of Base

I hope you’re enjoying it so far—as if now, I have just completed the second part.

Thanks for reading!

-JLaLa

[tthankstoyou]

In a world where every member of the Glee Club is... you know, playing for the other/multiple teams, what do you think each of their big gay awakening was?

ASJDS THIS IS A GREAT ASK THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I’m only doing the main glee club members from season 1-3 but lmk if you want me to do the side characters or s4/6 newbies!

Quinn: Is it okay if I say a person she knew? It’s 100% Brittany. She probably didn’t realize people could be attracted to the same gender until she saw Brittany making out with a girl at a Cheerios party and wondered why she wanted to be the girl kissing Britt so bad. And like Britt is super open about her sexuality, which would only make Quinn more interested in what kissing a girl would be like.

Tina: Faith from ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer.’ Need I say more? Or the scene in ‘Jennifer’s Body’ where Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried make out.

Santana: Meg from ‘Hercules’ was definitely the cause of her first gay thought, although she wouldn’t have realized that she was obsessed with Meg bc of lesbian reasons until much later.

Mercedes: Hers was Number 3 from ‘Code Name Kids Next Door’ because of how she was adorable and such a positive light in the show. Mercedes was jealous of Number 4...... but she didn’t realize until later what exactly that jealousy was.

Brittany: The green m&m.... jkjk.......... but am i really joking tho? 🤔

Rachel: I know you might be expecting me to say someone from Broadway, but I see her more as looking up to Broadway stars as role models. They’re her inspiration and what she aspires to be. So I’m going to say the first time Rachel fell in love with every woman that was mean to her, which means that her gay awakening was obviously Regina George from Mean Girls. Regina was the first character that Rachel saw and immediately wanted her to slap her face and spit in her mouth.

Finn: Honestly... Finn seems like the Keanu Reeves type of guy. Like he watched ‘Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ with his mom and stayed up the whole night looking up pictures of Ted/Keanu Reeves.

Puck: Robin from the 1997 movie ‘Batman & Robin.’ It’s all in how chiseled Robin’s chest was and the overall costume.

Sam: Just like with Quinn, it’s a person he knew. His was a boy that he went to his all-boys private school with. They kissed to see what it would be like to kiss someone... the other dude was like “No offense, but I think I’d rather kiss a girl” & Sam’s internally freaking out because he didn’t hate it as much as the other dude claimed to.

Blaine: It was definitely Han Solo for Blaine. He watched ‘Star Wars’ and the first thing he did once he finished all of the movies was googling pictures of Hal Solo and Harrison Ford. So not only is the franchise his start of becoming a nerd, but also how he realized he was gay. He would stay up until the later hours of the night reading Han Solo/reader fan fics & even writing them when he started running low on fics to read.

Artie: Something stupid like Max from ‘A Goofy Movie.’ He watched it and was entranced by Max... Max/reader was probably the first fan fiction he ever read.

Mike: Those magazines near the checkout line at the grocery store that have half shirtless men or the men’s shirts are like super tight.

Kurt: I think it’s harder to pinpoint an exact moment for Kurt. He always knew that he was different, but didn’t know how to explain exactly what it was that made him a target for bullying. I’d say that one of his earliest gay moments was walking down the underwear isle and trying his best to divert his eyes from the half naked men with their bulges showing on the packaging.

[loudsnapdragon]

it's Juno (2007) but buckingham.

On The Sleeve of How It Used To Be

robin/chrissy. minor steve/eddie. mature. 2/4 chapters. read on Ao3, loudsnapdragon. cw: teen pregnancy, brief mention of abortion, non-explicit description of awkward sex.

Not-so-secret smalltown lesbian Robin Buckley makes a last ditch attempt at heterosexuality by scoring a one night stand with her old bandmate Eddie, but while the sex does successfully confirm the annoying complete disinterest in men she harbours, it kickstarts another clusterfuck for her to deal with. She’s pregnant. And despite her better judgement, she’s keeping the baby. Luckily, she finds a recently wedded Ms. Kelley and Mr Clarke looking to adopt. But to save herself from some of the mortification, of ya’ know; blowing up like a hormonal balloon throughout her Junior year, she decides to not tell anyone who the daddy is. Not the daddy himself, not her parents, not even her favorite dingus. But as is the luck of your regular outcast pregnant sixteen-year-old, someone finds out. And like many secrets, Chrissy Cunningham doesn't make it easy to keep.

If they were normal, then the sex would have been really sweet. Eddie would say something like, ‘I’ve wanted this for ages.’ And Robin would say ‘I know.’ And then he would say something goofy and cute like, ‘Wizard.’

But unfortunately for them, the second after she settled on his lap, her knees brushing against the faded leather of the Munson trailer’s shabby couch, she realised three things.

One: There is a limit to Eddie’s goofy cuteness. He is charming, but not charming enough to pull off a stupid catchphrase like ‘Wizard.’ And the first thing he said after he entered Robin wasn’t ‘I’ve wanted this for ages’, it was: ‘Is it meant to make that noise?’

Two: The goofy-cute limit is reached far quicker when Eddie is naked, his worryingly too pink erection pressing into her thigh.

Three: This probably isn’t Eddie’s fault. Because Robin understood, suddenly, but sadly too slowly as to stop the trajectory of her first brave adventure into sex, she’s definitely gay. Super gay. The dykiest dyke to ever dyke. This ain't a switch she can unflip like Chrissy did. 

She goes through with it. Because there’s a pesky hope that she could make this work. That she might be gay, but maybe Eddie’s long hair and big lips and dangly earrings could trick her gay ass mind. She finishes the ordeal thanks to a sachet of lube and a traitorous condom he theatrically whipped out his wallet prior. She’s never been a great actress, but she thinks, maybe this time, she’ll convince them all.

Eddie kisses her forehead after he finishes. Keeps on asking if she’s alright, so she knows she didn’t put on a good enough show.

Six weeks later, stone sky ripping into the clouds, the distant haze of woodsmoke trailing the horizon, the suburban roofs shining like jewels in the cold sun, she buys a bottle of Sunny Delight from Melvald’s and walks a loop-de-loop back to Main Street. She’s loath to admit it, but sometimes Hawkins really is beautiful.

‘Well, if it isn’t Birdie, the future mother to be, back again at the nest.’

She throws the third pregnancy test into the trash by the store’s entrance.

‘Jesus Murray, try some sympathy. How did you even get a job here.’

‘Joyce is sweet on me.’ Murray shrugs from behind the counter of Melvald's, holding the bathroom key back like a prize, waiting for her to pay for the fresh pregnancy test she tossed by the register. ‘This is your fourth test today, not like your latest orange delight is going to switch the pee-pee situation.’

‘God, silence old man. Just give me the key.’

‘Pay for the pregnancy test when you’re done. Don’t think it’s yours just because you marked it with your urine!’

She snatches the key and hides away in the store’s toilet, twisting her wrist under her crotch and peeing on the stick with a creeping familiar ease. She walks out to the store, slapping the test against her palm as she waits, trying to shake out the most likely result, considering her lack of period and extremely sensitive nipples, if what Brenda says is true. 

‘That ain’t no etch-a-sketch that can be undid, dearie.’

She throws Murray the finger, but sure enough, a minute later, that evil pink plus sign appears for the fourth time, cementing her impending doom.

So she does what she normally does when faced with impending doom. She buys a pack of Red Vines, ignores Murray, and cycles over to Steve’s place.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Are you going to go Sunnyvale or Women Now? Cos’ I remember Carol saying you need a note from your parents if you go to Sunnyvale.’

Steve’s parents are never home, so they’re spread out over the couches talking aloud about her impending doom, because the Harrington’s are the type of rich to have three couches, all of them ugly.

‘I’ll think I’ll go to Women Now, cos’ ya’ know, they help women now.’

‘Yeah, I get ya.’ Steve says, sitting feet up on his couch. ‘How did you even generate enough pee for four pregnancy tests? That’s amazing.’

‘I drank ten tonnes of Sunny D.’

‘Jesus Birdie, that’s so much sugar. Your teeth are going to fall out.’

‘Doesn’t really matter if my teeth fall out if I’m dead first.’

‘Hey.’ Steve swings his leg down, throws a pillow over the coffee table and on to her couch, smiling when it hits her square on the forehead.

‘Ow.’

‘You’re not going to die. No one is going to find out. We’ll get it sorted, okay? Just tell me the time for the appointment and I’ll pick you up after.’

He looks so stupid. His floppy hair flat on his forehead, that Weird Al shirt he only wears to make Dustin happy, and those ugly basketball shorts that are two sizes too small, cos' like a freak of nature, he’s only gained thigh muscle since quitting the team. She wants to grab him by the apples of his cheeks and smush him a like a golden retriever.

‘You look stupid.’

He smiles. ‘Right back at ya.’

‘I’m going to abort the hell out of this baby.’

‘Fuck yeah you are.’

[frunbuns]

I just finished reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, here are some quotes I saved bc this book shook me to my core

Spoilers!!

-

He'd convinced himself that his wanting me was my fault.

And I believed him.

-

Be wary of men with something to prove.

-

"It's on the house," he said, which I thought was the dumbest thing, because if there's anyone that should be getting free food, it isn't rich people.

-

"Heartbreak is loss, divorce is just a piece of paper."

-

People think intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'You're safe with me' - that's intimacy.

-

"[...] I'm bisexual. Don't ignore half of me so you can fit me into a box, Monique. Don't do that."

-

You do not know how fast you have been running, how hard you have been working, how truly exhausted you are, until someone stands behind you and says, “It’s OK, you can fall down now. I’ll catch you.”

-

"Evelyn?" Harry said, before getting off the phone.

"Yes?"

"You know what's happening, right?"

"What?"

"You're about to become the highest-paid actress in Hollywood."

-

[...] I have no idea that in less than a week, Evelyn will finish her story, and I'll find out what this has all been about, and I will hate her so much that I'll be truly afraid I might kill her.

-

"Can you believe it?" She said. "Two of them."

"You deserve them. The whole world should be giving you an Oscar every day, as far as I'm concerned."

-

[...] That seemed to be her pattern. I was a lesbian when she loved me and a straight woman when she hated me.

-

People were just starting to talk about the idea of bisexuality, but I'm not sure I even understood that the word referred to me then. I wasn't interested in finding a label for what I already knew. I loved men. I loved Celia. I was OK with that.

-

"If you are intolerable, let me be the one to tolerate you."

-

"You love me?" she said

"Oh, my God, what an understatement," I told her.

-

"To Evelyn," she said, lifting her glass in the air. "Who has lit up every goddamn room she ever walked into. And who, day after day, makes us feel like we're living in a dream."

-

It's always been fascinating to me how things can be simultaneously true and false, how people can be good and bad all in one, how someone can love you in a way that us beautifully selfless while serving themselves ruthlessly.

-

It was one of the last times we were all together, laughing smiling, happy. A family.

Because after that, I ruined it.

-

"Being bisexual didn't make me disloyal," Evelyn said. "One has nothing to do with the other. Nor did it mean that Celia could only fulfill half my needs."

-

"I'm not a good person, Monique. Make sure, in the book, that that's clear. That I'm not claiming to be good. That I did a lot of things that hurt other people, and I would do them over again if I had to."

-

And just as she was about to leave the microphone, she said, “And to anyone tempted to kiss the TV tonight, please don’t chip your tooth.”

-

"[...] I don't want to let you love me if you don't think you can lose me again. One last time."

-

"I have been married seven times, and never once has it felt as right as this. I think that loving you has been the truest thing about me."

-

The devastating luxury of panic overtook me.

And it has never left.

-

That's how my story ends. With the loss of everyone I have ever loved. With me, in a big, beautiful Upper East Side apartment, missing everyone who ever meant anything to me.

-

Evelyn was never going to let the thing that made her be the thing to destroy her. She was never going to let anything, even a part of her body, have that sort of power.

Evelyn is going to die when she wants to.

And she wants to die now.

-

I hate Evelyn, but I think I like her very much.

[soundofsilverbirds]

I finished reading NASA/TREK a couple days ago, so here are some thoughts (not a proper review or anything).

First of all, the blurb on the back cover describes the book as “wry and highly readable” and I think that’s accurate. It situates the discussion of Trek and K/S in academic conversations about literature, popular culture, consumption, etc., but it’s not full of academic gobbledygook. I finished it in about two or three days while really busy with other things, because it was basically fun to read. Honestly, it was more “readable” than a lot of Trek novels...

And the author does take a very funny wry tone throughout. For instance, this footnote about David Gerrold’s comments against K/S:

“Pitting women against each other, he quotes one woman fan who objects to the fact that ‘too many’ of the stories involve Kirk and Spock in sadomasochistic scenarios, which, she feels, do not reflect appropriate behavior for two of Starfleet’s finest officers.”

You can just see the author raising her eyebrows and asking what the appropriate proportion of stories involving sadomasochistic behavior would be.

Overall, some of the things that I think might be interesting for Trek and K/S fans, especially younger ones (and I’m including myself here, although I think I’m about ten years older than most of the people I talk to on here) are:

-An analysis of NASA’s attitudes towards women and (hetero-)sexuality in space, which I’d never really thought about in much detail beyond the vague idea that it’s taken them too long to get women into space. Penley also examines popular narratives around women in space, especially in terms of reactions to the Challenger disaster. This was really interesting to me because, although of course I’d heard of the Challenger, I hadn’t realized it was such a big cultural moment. I guess this is similar to how 9/11 seems to me like this huge, unforgettable cultural turning point, but to my current students it’s just history that happened before they were born...

-An examination of how K/S falls into an American tradition of stories about homosocial (or thinly-veiled homoerotic) interracial relationships. People don’t usually talk about the (pseudo-)interracial aspect of K/S, so I thought this was interesting, and the historical context was interesting too. Also, this section provides us with the trivia gem that an early review of Star Trek was apparently titled “COME BACK TO THE SPACESHIP AG’IN, SPOCK HONEY,” mimicking the title of a groundbreaking 1948 essay on homoerotocism in Huckleberry Finn and Moby Dick, “Come Back to the Raft Ag’in, Huck Honey!” by Leslie Fiedler.

-A look into 80s and 90s K/S fandom. It’s interesting to see how the proliferation of VCRs started to enable things like fan videos, while the fandom still wasn’t as completely online as it is today. Very funny to read about how they would make these videos using “two VCRs, an audio cassette deck, and a stopwatch,” and air them to “raucous” audiences at conventions.

There are also some ideas in the book that might not come as a surprise to fans, but that it’s nice to see validated with such a simple and clear explanation. In particular, I like the author’s contention that the main appeal of slash, especially K/S, lies in its potential for exploring a relationship between equals. This is exactly how I think about slash, and how I always want to respond to people who misinterpret it as the fetishization of gay men by straight women (as if it were the same as cishet men’s “lesbian” porn), but if I were to put forth that kind of argument, I’d probably feel the need to add all kinds of long, complicated qualifications (“I’m not saying that relationships between men and women can’t be egalitarian in real life, just that in many media portrayals...” blah blah blah). So I appreciate Penley’s saying it in a straightforward, unapologetic way.

Furthermore, the book avoids some of the usual pitfalls that plague discussions of the appeal of slash:

-The author acknowledges that straight women aren’t the only fans of K/S, although she does focus mainly on that demographic

-and she doesn’t portray fans as pitiable escapists. She pays tribute to the creativity and organization of fans, showing how participation in fandom can build skills and community.

[pointnumbersixteen]

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.  

 About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.  

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.  

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.  

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and  possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.  

 As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.