#billy chow

[boardsdonthitback]

Chin Siu-Ho, Billy Chow - Lady Reporter a.k.a Blonde Fury (1989)

[eclecticpjf]

Now watching:

Iron Money 2 (1996, dir. Lu-Chiang Chao & Lan Jing)

[nouveau-riche-princess]

this slo mo move is one of the coolest things in any kung fu movie

[thedrillerkiller]

badboiz

Yuen Biao, Corey Yuen, Billy Chow, Jackie Chan and Benny “The Jet” Urquidez on the set of Dragons Forever (1988)

[witchofthemidlands]

the face of man who potentially remembers what happened to his childhood dog & can unleash john wiccan on the witch that killed him & then flung it into a song.

[cchr11]

When exploring JC's memories in DXIW, the first place you see is a room which Billie says "is from Hong Kong where JC Denton went into hiding for a while". Now, if you pay attention, the room looks awfully similar to Maggie's appartment. Which means: he squatted in Maggie's place during the whole Hong Kong part, either because she left or because he killed her during the first visit. Or he fucked her, he fucked his stay into a luxurious room. Then she got gray death and became dumber as a result, showing up with a sword in a gun fight.

[blackpinkofficialupdates]

Rosé with Billie Eilish, Eva Chow and Odessa A'zion at the LACMA Gala

[wonderjanga]

Marvel Being Destructive

Marvel’s destructive. It’s not even on purpose too. It just happens. He can’t control it. For the most part, that is. Like, he’ll get startled and pull a Castiel from that one episode of Supernatural.

Marvel: *trying to steal some food for Billy*

Flash: “Cap, buddy!”

Marvel: *startles and the lightbulb above them just bursts*

*loud silence*

Flash: “Cap, whose leftovers are those?”

Marvel: *slowly turns around to look at Flash, sure enough, Marvel’s holding a container or Tupperware, with a sticky note that said GL* “Uh… mine?”

Flash: “I can see that they’re Hal’s.”

Marvel: *takes off the sticky note and crumples it in his hand. Then proceeds to fry it with lightning* “What’re you talking about?”

Flash: *a little speechless*

Marvel: “Right… So I’m gonna go. See you, Flash.” *little wave as he walks off*

Billy felt really bad about it, but the kid needed it more than Hal at the moment. Probably. Look, he was running low on money at the moment and hadn’t eaten in a couple days. The hunger pangs were getting to him. He did end up making a bunch of food for Hal in an attempt to apologize.

GL: “Woah, what’s all this?”

Marvel: *in full lightning bolt apron* “Uh… Remember how you were complaining last week about how someone stole your food?”

GL: “Yeah?”

Marvel: “Right, well that was me.”

GL: *dramatic gasp* “I vented to you about that! And you just took it like you were innocent?!”

Marvel: “I know, I know, and I’m sorry. Just eat all the food I made for you. Please?”

GL: *looks to the freaking feast Marvel made for him* “Yeah, okay. I forgive you.” *starts chowing down* “By the way, why’d you steal my foot anyways? I thought you didn’t need to eat.”

Marvel: “I just really needed it at the time.”

GL: “Why?”

Marvel: “Just eat the food, Hal.”

Then, there’s the fact that Billy sometimes forgets he isn’t as small as he usually is. Like, he’s gotten used to it. After all, he’s been Cap for almost four years now. He now unconsciously bends down when entering and exiting through doors due to the fact he’s cracked his head on more doorframes than he can count. This even bled over to Billy who’s only about 5’4 and definitely doesn’t need to do it. But, every now and then as Cap, he’ll slip up and forget he isn’t that little scrawny short kiddo.

JL: *all having a meeting* Marvel: *drops something under the table and leans down the pick it it up*

GA: *immediately grabs his mug of coffee and scoots back from the table*

Other JL members: *watch in confusion as GA scoots back but then watch in slow motion at Marvel tries to get back to his chair and stands up to early. The table slowly starts tilting up and all of their stuff slides to the floor. Marvel then gets out from under the table and the table falls back to the floor with a loud bang*

Marvel: *confused by the loud bang and looks back* “Where’d all your guys’ stuff go?”

GA: *scoots back to table and puts his mug back down* “No idea, bud.”

The reason Green Arrow knew to take his stuff and scoot back is that one time when he got lunch with Cap, he watched in real time as his burger and soda slid off the table when the big man went down to grab a fork he dropped.

Then, there’s the super duper ultra rare times he forgets his own strength. Like, once a year, he’ll break something or someone and then end up having to apologize a lot.

Batman: *shows Marvel an explosive batarang* “These are extremely delicate. If they’re chipped or thrown at someone, they’ll explo-”

Marvel: *reaches over to touch it and accidentally snaps a piece of it off*

*silence*

*beeping noise starts*

Marvel: *panics and breaks the rest of it and shoves it in his mouth, basically eating the explosion, Superman style*

Batman: *stares for a solid minute* “I could’ve turned it off, Captain.”

Marvel: *coughs up smoke looking embarrassed* “Sorry, Mister Batman Sir.”

Batman: *stares for another solid minute* “Can we talk about how your first instinct was to eat it?”

Marvel: “I’d rather not.”

Batman: “I really think we should.”

[tan1shere]

Hi love! Can you do 5 & 9 with Billie Eilish please!! 😁

Our Eyes Only

B.E prompt ! - masterlist !

^list

A/n: coming right up ! :D

Warnings: SMUT ! Car sex, mentions of masturbation, billies a teasing mf, use of mommy ! Think that's it :)

Tags - @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu @dollarbils @sweetcherriexs @bilsdillldough @mystiquemm

( 9. car sex - 5. filming it, either for private purposes or because they’re amateur pornstars )

"Ready?" You hear faintly, but you were honestly nervous you had never done this before, Billie on the other hand has, with many girls considering that's her job. You were her roommate so you'd occasionally see some hot girls walking into the apartment in tight clothing. Most of them were quite brain dead but you kept that to yourself. But tonight, her regular canceled. Saying she was on a date and will probably never be doing such things again if it goes well. So that's when she asks you. You were just sitting on the couch, minding your own business and watching TV.

"Billie I dunno." She sits beside you, getting you to look at her. "Ok, how about this. We do it, and if you don't want it published when you watch it back then I can scrap it yeah?" You think for a moment. "You're just going to beg me afterwards even if I don't like it." She bites her lip, making your mind run forgetting what was even going on in the first place. "Yeah but you give into me easily so shouldn't be hard." Your brows furrow. "Do not." You say unconvincingly. "Tomorrow could say otherwise."

And you ofcourse give in, which leads you here. Sitting in her Audi as she sets up the camera. The thought of being filmed was scary, even if it doesn't go out, the fact something known to be private wouldn't be is scary. Even more so than being naked infront of her for sort of the first time. Ofcourse living together you have near moments, but being fully naked was a bit intimidating to think on. She looks at you sensing hesitation in your posture. Your heart speeds at the gaze.

"What?" You then say, without even looking at her. That was until she turned your head to face her. "In order for us to do any of this babe you gotta look at me." You swallow, going to do so as she removes her hand. "Good." Only to replace the other hand on your cheek, leaning in and kissing you. You were shocked at first, not expecting it so soon. Your eyes shut as you kiss back. Feeling the tension slip out. The moment becoming more heated.

There was no doubt you had some form of feelings for the woman. Her style made your head spin, she was so attractive. It consisting of caps, long shorts, big t-shirts/hoodies. But youd love it when she'd wear a wife beater. The tight white fabric clinging. It occasionally riding up to show off her toned abdomen. Her arms showcasing a slight muscle. Her hands. Those veiny. Strong- But your daydream came to a halt as you felt a bite on your neck. You gasp as she does so, licking of the same spot. It was enough to say you've never done this. But that meant a multitude. Truthfully you hadn't really been with anyone, not for a long period of time anyways.

No you weren't a virgin, but it sure did feel like that at times. Especially with an experienced sex worker chowing down on your skin. God did it feel good tho, even when she sucked. Her hands travel to your small sleep shorts. Not really covering much. "You know." She says still kissing your neck. "I hate but love it when you wear these." You gulp. "Because. It's as if you know what you're doing. But then again, I know just how clueless you are." Your brows furrow. What does that mean? Her hands cup your ass. "Always so small." She bites again. Earning a moan from you.

She smirks, finding out your certain spots, pleased when she does. The car was heating up faster than you even realized, making your chest rise and fall with how close you two were. Her hands travel inside, causing you to hesitate any thought, surprised again. Her face meets yours. "You ok?" Her eyes shift from lust to a more caring glint. Reassuring. "Yeah- just. Not exactly use to this." Her brows knit together. "You, have had sex before correct?" You nod. "Oh yes, ofcourse! Just.. Not as much as you have?" Your features carry a nervousness to them. She picks up on it and pecks your lips again. "Well, you're in good hands. Just- let me take the lead ok?" You yet again nod.

Letting her do whatever. She goes for your shirt, keeping eye contact with you very closely. Making sure you were comfortable. And you were. She stares at your tits, fully on display. She licks her lips, lifting you up and onto her lap. She pushes her seat back. "We will do it like this yeah? No faces, just the main event. Sound good?" "Yeah." You then reply, feeling less anxious about it all. She nods, going to take off your shorts and underwear. Super swiftly. She really was good at this. You felt exposed as her eyes wander over everything. But at the same time, you felt wanted by it. Sexy even. You hadn't felt that in probably.. Ever.

Her hand goes to cup your cunt, feeling it warm and wet against her palm. She bites her lip. Moving her finger to your entrance, feeling you loose enough to her next words. "Gunna give it to you raw. Know you can take it." The eye contact still remains causing butterflies to erupt inside you. Your head moves as you nod slowly, processing but trusting her regardless. She fiddles with her belt, moving the jeans to get the strap out. You look down at it, it was larger than you anticipated. Honestly you had no idea what was in store for the night. Her hands grip your waist, moving you above it carefully. Making you sink down on it gently. Your mouth hangs open at this fresh feeling. She mimics it, smirking when you moan lightly. "Yeah feels good huh?"

Your mind races of so many thoughts, the fact you were even doing this with your roommate. Beats the little masturbation sessions you'd have at the thought of her. How silly was that, she was a room beside you and that's how you coped. Not to mention how you'd feel when you heard some girl she was fucking, moan. Oh how you wished it was you. But now, it really is you. You shut your eyes as you slightly move. This was a position very new to you. So you were skeptical on how to proceed. "Go faster, go on." You look into her blue eyes, going to do so. Raising yourself up and slowly sinking back down.

You let out a louder moan this time, having that slight sting from the new profound stretch, turn to a mind boggling pleasure. Making your movements pick up in speed. You wanted this more and more now as the seconds pass. "Needy little thing." She mutters, watching your hips lift up then down. Its as if you had wanted this all along. Then a switch clicks in her brain. "You want this really bad huh?" You don't reply, too caught up in the bliss. "Like you've imagined such a thing before." Then you come back to your surroundings, averting your gaze completely. "I'm right aren't I? Maybe you even touch yourself to the thought." She jokes but your unexpected silence says alot. All that she needs to know.

And this was her territory. This was her playground, she was a big teaser and now that she knew some more info of your little crush she plans to milk the fuck out of it. She sits up on her elbows. "Yeah baby? Slip those cute slim fingers into yourself, imagining it's me?" You let out a breathy moan, trying to ignore how much this is turning you on. Her voice, her gaze, her fucking dick. "Get jealous when you hear all the girls I bring over, hm?" She gives a fake pout. "Yeah? You pretend that it's you, don't you baby." This is where her speech stops. You had zero clue about the ins and outs. Your previous partner was quite boring when it came to sex.

"Answer me." You think, try to form any kind of words as your hips keep at it. "I- uhm." Her brow raises at your pathetic attempts. "Mm-mm. Speak properly." You slow your hips which causes you to regain focus. "I- h-hav-" But you were cut off when you were slammed back down by her strong hands. "What was that?" You moan louder than you ever have. Shocked and aroused by the sudden movement. "F-fuck!" This was so amusing to her, seeing you such a mess. "Come on baby, admit that you've been a horny little bitch for me." She says such words so softly. But God it was filthy. "Mhmm, I- I do touch myself to the thought of, you." You keep moving, breathing heavily. Her smirk grows. "See how easy that was?"

Her hands soon after wander, down to your cunt. Messing with it just a bit. "I bet you get so wet." You bounce harder, shocking her but impressing her at the same time. In secret you might be the best she's had. "Y-yes mommy." She does a double take with what came out of your mouth. Hadn't expected that at all. "S- so wet for you always." You were a moaning mess, tits bouncing. And suddenly all words flew out her mouth. Distracted by the name, your body. "Fuck." She groans at one particular bounce, feeling it right on her own cunt. Her mouth opens as your pace keeps up. You had been neglected for so long, this was definitely the result of that.

"God you're hot." She breaths, becoming out of breath herself. Then something turns inside her at your string of whimpers, you were close. "Better than all the rest." She was a smartass, because this eggs you on, encouraging a faster momentum. And she knew it. Chasing that euphoric feeling with each movementof your hips. The camera was picking it all up, the way you'd swallow the strap whole. The white ring around the base so clear to see. "S-so.." You breathe, moving your hands just above her waist for a form of support. "Yeah baby, so close. So close to making a beautiful little mess all over me. Is that another fantasy you had?" You go nonverbal, mind fogging over. "B-billie." You say mindlessly. Then you feel everything stop. Whimpering loudly. You open your eyes to look, seeing her hands placed firmly on you. "Whyy." You whine.

"What did you call me before, say it again and I'll let go." Your brain was mush, trying to move from her grasp. She smacks your side. "Uh uh, say it." You sigh defeated. "Mommy please! I'm so close, so, so close. Wanna make a mess for you." You weren't even speaking right, too caught up in this ecstasy feeling. Then you feel yourself plop back down, earning a porny moan from your bitten lips. "F-feels so good." You say as you chase that previous pleasure, doing so easily. "Go on then baby, you've definitely earned it. Been so so good for me." And without another second your bursting at the seams. Leaking all over the fake dick. You both were sweaty, flopping onto her chest tiredly.

"I've made up my mind. This is definitely, our eyes only." She says. She doesn't want to share this with anyone. She doesn't want to share you with anyone.

[chrissv4mp]

videos girlfriend! billie would send you while she's away / fluff , pet names , language , (don't comment on the hair..) ᡣ𐭩

01. bills: if only u woke up n came wit me :[

the first thing you'd be met with is the sound of loud, electronic music, and the silly sight of your girlfriend chowing down on a baby carrot as she hummed along to the lyrics, muffled slightly, "wanna know what i told her?" she mouths, murmuring the next lines as she bounces around finneas and claudia's kitchen.

"so mediocre." she huffs, squinting her eyes at the phone camera, her annoyed expression turning into one of love as she smiles, "not you though, mama." finneas snorts in the background, earning a playful sneer from billie before she runs around the island and pushes his softly, the screen blurring from the motion for a moment or two.

the phone drops to the marble of the island, camera facing upward and catching your girlfriend and her brother's rough-housing on the far right, "o—billie—okay!" finneas calls through uncontrollable laughter, l'amour still playing softly in the background, almost completely drowned out by their banter.

billie grabs her phone before moving back over to her original spot, popping another baby carrot into her mouth as she holds the phone camera a few inches away from her face, her eyes locked onto it as she points with her other hand towards her brother, who's out of frame, "he's crazy...!" she whispers loudly, to which finneas gasps in faux offense.

02. bills: listening to our playlist..... why can't u be here mama :((

"okay, this is not safe." is the first thing to come out of her mouth when the video starts to play. her eyes flicker to the road behind her phone for a moment before she looks back over, "but i'm a pro driver, sooo..." she says with a playful grin, the early morning sun illuminating her face so perfectly and bringing out all of the little features only you could point out.

ivy by frank ocean plays through the speakers of the rental car, her plump lips moving along to the words he sang before she cuts herself off mid-verse, "i miss you." she grumbles, eyes droopy as she sets her phone in the cup-holder, finally resting both hands on the wheel, "dude, denver and la are like a million miles away." her lips tug down into a frown as she glances down at her phone, "but i'll be home soon,"

"only a few more shows, then you're all mine." she giggles, raising her eyebrows suggestively with a stupid grin on her cute face. her fingers tap along to the rhythm of the song on the wheel as her vocals blend in with the original singer. she points with one finger towards the camera as she sings the lyrics, "i thought that i was dreamin' when you said you loved me."

she bites her lip, eyes moving along the road in front of her. a laugh escapes her throat before she sniffles, shaking her head, "okay, well," she mumbles, a bashful smile tugging at her lips as she grabs her phone again, "i'm about to cry, so, bye, love youu!" she exclaims with a shaky voice, looking down at her lap in embarrassment, "and don't forget to call me when you get home."

03. bills: holy moly

"BABY!!!" billie yells, eyes wide just like the cheeky smile that was plastered on her face. blush creeps onto her face, "you can not post something like that without warning me first." she scolds softly, dragging her hands down her face as she groans loudly. her hands fumble with the phone as she switches her position, sitting against the headboard of the hotel bed and holding her phone with one hand. her other hand twirls a strand of her hair in her fingers like a schoolgirl.

"i need the outtakes." she states because she knows you'll show them to her anyway, "like—right after i send you this." she confirms with a nod of her head, pursing her lips as she moves around like she doesn't know how to stay still. she can't help but giggle as the image of your recent instagram post pops into her mind again, blushing furiously as she smiles.

"and i also need you." she whispers with a teasing smirk, biting down on her lip as she brushes a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "if you don't answer this facetime call i—"

04. bills: do u think i'd pull this off?? cus...

billie moves the phone camera up and down, trying to gauge every little angle to see all the different tattoos the filter had to offer. she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she tilts her head to the side, grinning stupidly, "damn, i'm kinda fallin' in looove with myself." she laughs before stretching her arms above her head on the hotel bed.

"you might have some competition with thee billie eilish." she shrugs her shoulders with a playful glint in her eyes. she winks at the camera with her signature smile, running a hand through her hair as she moves to sit up in the middle of the mattress. she sets her phone down, propping it up against the pillows so that you could see her entire body.

her jaw drops as she grabs the sides of her face, seeming surprised as she squeals quietly, "dude!" she exclaims, clenching her hands into fists in front of her and shaking them wildly like she was grabbing at the bars of an enclosure, "3 fucking nights at msg!" billie announces, furrowing her eyebrows in disbelief, "3 whole nights at madison-fucking-square-garden."

she sits in silence for a few moments, looking out at the city of new york through the windows of her hotel room. she smiles, her bubbly side showing as she grabs the phone again and scoots off the bed. she flips the camera, her hand coming into view as she points at what direction she thinks the arena is in, "so fucking insane." the camera flips again, and you're met with the sight of her beautiful face again, this time, without the filter, "anyway, i'll call ya when i'm on my way to sound-check. love ya." she blows a kiss to the camera.

◇ tags: @mseilishmwah @sophloveswomen @mxqdii @livvydunneness @vyntagess @afteraftercare @wiidfi0wer33 @loving1dsworld @tan1shere @fallingforfalll2 @cierraonline @dandelions4us @scarlittt @ifwdominicfike @slxtarchive @stonerfromlesbos @bilsdillldough @hopelessfawn @zayluvss @47lake @meliciousmel13

[madelynraemunson]

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series)

(strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!x reader)

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI

Chapter 005: All That and A Can of Worms

Chrissy offers you some insight about Eddie over brunch. You ask Steve how he’d feel about a threesome. Eddie asks if you want to go on another smoke break in his van.

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

word count: 4.6k

warnings — mutual pining, angst, tension, casual hookups, profanities, NURSE…billy’s out again, talks of abuse, manipulation

“You’re good at impersonating someone who cares. You had me for a minute there.”

♡

Being annoyed and sexually frustrated at Benny’s Diner at 9 AM is not how you want to start your day. But anything for your new — and very hungover — friend, Chrissy.

You would think Miss Cherry still had the munchies from last night just by how she’s inhaling her breakfast potatoes. You sit there and drink your piping hot tea, all while Chrissy spills hers.

“I don’t know,” Chrissy shrugs. “I just think Crypto currency is shady as hell, and the fact that Jason is doing it full time is a red flag.”

“And you’ve been seeing him for how long?”

“Like two weeks,” she answers. “I was gonna invite him to the thing but I don’t think Eddie would’ve liked him.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “I feel like BYOB is more on the…intimate side anyways. Eddie’s close circle.”

Chrissy nods in agreement as she continues to chow down, paying no mind to the adorable ketchup stain she acquired at the corner of her chin.

You can hardly contain it anymore.

“What can you tell me about Eddie?”

Chrissy’s munching ceases. She’s slowly chewing now, attempting to read you.

“Depends…” she squirms. “What do you wanna know?”

“What’s he like?” you wonder. “Did he ever have a girlfriend? Is he someone who’s emotionally available?”

Chrissy thinks for a moment.

“The last serious partnership he ever had was with Isabelle,” she cringes. “But we won’t go into that.”

Isabelle. Okay, you’ve got something.

“Is she the lady friend?”

“No, Lady Friend was just some random chick,” Chrissy shakes her head. “Isabelle was like… serious serious.”

Suspicious now, Chrissy automatically is inclined to ask,

“And you’re asking me this because…?”

Chrissy has been nothing but welcoming ever since you started at Hellfire. The friendship you two have built you feel is something very strong. You trust her enough to know about last night’s scandal with your boss.

“Some things happened last night.”

Chrissy’s eyes widen. “Omg. Like what?”

“Well…” you exhale. “When you went home with Argyle, Eddie gave me a ride home.”

“Go on…”

“We got pretty stoned and then things got heated. Right before we were about to do anything he flat out dipped on me! Blamed it on not wanting to fuck under the influence. I get it, but… something is telling me there’s more to it.”

Just as you expect, Chrissy’s eyes widen in shock. Laughing at the wild news she just received, she requests a quick backtrack. Acceptable reaction.

“Hold on,” she stops you. “We skipped a few chapters. I…thought you were banging his roommate Steve.”

“I am.”

“AND YOU ALSO WANNA GET WITH EDDIE?”

The entire restaurant, it seems, goes quiet. You could hear a spoon clink against some plates from the other side of the establishment.

You try to shush Chrissy. “Dude…”

“Sorry,” Chrissy covers her mouth. She lowers her voice to an aggressive whisper. “Damn, girl! You’re a little hoe.”

You can tell she’s joking.

“Can you blame me though?” you chuckle.

“No,” she shakes her head and giggles. “I really can’t.”

You nod in agreement with her as she mouths “Sooo hot” regarding both Eddie and Steve. Then Chrissy grows serious again.

“Now that we’re here…can I tell you something?”

“Sure,” you shrug. “Anything.”

“As someone who’s…hooked up… with Eddie before…” she begins. “I do think that his behavior towards you is a liiittle strange. He’s typically not hot and cold. He’s usually very forward.”

The plot thickens. It would make sense that those two were a thing, given the sexual tension they had last night when Eddie gave Chrissy the edible.

“Wait you and Eddie hooked up?”

“Yeah…” Chrissy confirms. “He used to smoke me out a lot when I first started at Hellfire. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together a few times.”

You start to feel like an idiot.

“Chrissy…I’m so sorry,” you start.

But your friend flails her hands around insistently.

“Don’t be sorry! Oh my gosh. It naturally died down anyways!” she exclaims. “'Think it had to do with the excitement of a new face. Eddie eventually got too busy and I started seeing other guys.”

“Oh,” you dial down. “I still feel like I’m breaking girl code in a way.”

“Don’t be sorry girl!” Chrissy repeats. “When it comes to me, you’re not! I actually think everyone needs to experience that man at least once.”

That man, being Eddie.

You jaw pops open.

“What?”

“I’m serious girl,” Chrissy sighs. “He’s just that good.”

“You’re lying.”

“Eyes rolled back,” Chrissy gushes. “Everything. OOH! Girl, he is just so respectful but rough and it’s, ugh…”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“It’s sex from another dimension.”

You and Chrissy squeal in excitement as she gives the details, reenacting most of the ordeal on her poor breakfast potatoes. It's revealed to you that Eddie loves catering to the female body, loves taking charge, and lives for a woman’s reaction. That alone is good enough to make him cum. It all makes you think about the dream you had and if it would be anything close to that.

“Well anyways,” Chrissy concludes. “Eddie’s one of the most chivalrous guys I know. Fucking a girl while she’s not sober is just not how he rolls. He probably freaked out.”

“I understand that,” you tap the table in thought. “But something was still off though. I barely had time to process it. Before you know it, he was dumping me at my house as if nothing happened.”

You fill Chrissy in on more of the details, chugging your tea like it’s a bottle of hot vodka. Being hot and bothered with nothing but a wet dream to get you by until you see one of them again is not a good combination.

“I would talk about this with Eddie and Steve,” Chrissy politely suggests. “And soon. I can feel the…frustration…radiating off your very strong grip…”

You nearly slam your teacup on the wooden table. Chrissy flinches.

“You’re telling me you two haven’t fucked when you were both high before? I mean like come on, that’s what gets people in the mood most times.”

“You may be onto something,” Chrissy squints in thought. “We were high almost every single time. So why now the sudden change?”

“Exactly.”

You say to Chrissy verbatim everything Eddie said to and about you last night. How he was fucking his fist yesterday to your moans. How he was telling you how much he wanted to fuck your brains out while being inches away from your face. How he had the opportunity to have you but chose to run from it the moment you showed interest. Nothing about it made sense.

"Leaving me high and dry after all that?" you reiterate. "I'm almost certain that never happened with you."

“But I also wasn’t hooking up with Steve at the same time,” Chrissy points out. “Maybe this deal might be breaking guy code in a way.”

Or the Munson Doctrine.

The phone rings, ushering your convo with Chrissy to a standstill. Your heart has been trained into thinking it’s Billy, especially since the eerie phone calls and messages have started up again. You’re overpowered by nausea and suddenly want the check.

The name that pops up on your phone causes you to breathe a sigh of relief.

MAX MAYFIELD 💌

“It’s my sister,” you announce. “Let’s keep it PG.” You tap the green phone button to accept the call. “Hey!”

“Hey, I was wondering if you can spot me $100 a month,” Max requests. “At least until I find a job.”

“Good morning to you too,” you mutter.

“Pleeeaaase!” Max begs. “It’s for the Y.”

“A membership at the Y is $100 a month?!”

“Yeah Hawkins is a fucking shoebox, I’ve learned,” Max mutters. “The city needs a lot of funding to keep things open. So will you do it?”

“Only because I love you,” you sigh. “But you better be looking for a job.”

“Scouts honor,” Max promises. “Thank you, sis. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Has Billy been reaching out?”

You swallow hard.

“Yeah," you choke. "Has he been texting you?”

“Mhm.”

Billy called again this morning. And again and again. Surprisingly, there was only one voicemail. But it was the same spiel.

"Hey, it's me," Billy greeted you in his voicemail. "Answer the fucking phone, please! I miss you and Max. You guys are lucky I'm giving you another chance."

His words just boil your blood. If anything, it should be him earning another chance from you and Max. Not the other way around.

"I'm worried about you guys. Y'all have never left the house for this long. So if this is your way of proving a point, all this manipulation projection, you guys won. Just please come back home okay? We can talk it out and ground ourselves to the situation at hand. Together. As siblings. No one loves you as much as I do, and no one will ever love you like I do. We’ll figure it out. Like we always do. K. Later.”

Billy never knows what he’s talking about. It’s obvious he takes every word he hears in therapy and makes alphabet soup out of it. Otherwise, he’d be practicing what he preaches.

The lack of control your brother has over you and Maxine is making him spiral. Without an ample supply, Billy is sure to explode any day now.

“Whatever you do,” you caution her. “Don’t fucking reply.”

“I know, I know,” Max says. “I know how this shit goes.”

“I love you,” you say again.

“Love you more.”

You hang up and instantly begin massaging your temples. Chrissy watches in horror.

“Man do you need dick or what…” she shakes her head. “Hearing all that stressed me out!”

“Tell me about it,” you sigh. “I need two if I’m being honest.”

A few more nibbles of your food, and then you and Chrissy go your separate ways, paying for both of your meals in all ones. You two do it for the cashier’s reaction. It’s always pretty funny.

“Anyway, thanks for this girly,” you give Chrissy a hug.

“Any time!” Chrissy beams. “I’ll see you tonight. We need to do this again soon.”

“Yeah, I just gotta find the time,” you mumble. “I still gotta meet Eddie for his usual stripper-orientation-lunch-thing that he does. Might as well buy a planner with all these commitments popping up.”

As she slows down her walking speed, Chrissy looks over at you with a puzzled look on her face.

“Wait… what ‘usual’ lunch?”

———- ☕️———-

Eddie’s van is nowhere in sight when you pull into Steve and Eddie’s neighborhood. You make your way over to the townhouse quickly, trying to catch The King before you have to clock in.

It’s one push of the doorbell and a wave into the Ring camera before Steve answers.

“Hey you!” he cheers as the door swings open. “Good to see you.”

He showers you with kisses before inviting you in.

“Good to see you too,” you kiss him right back. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me before the gym.”

“Anything for you,” Steve responds. “Dustin usually runs late anyway.”

You make yourself at home by setting your purse on the now tidy kitchen island. Steve offers you some water and you accept. He puts a lemon wedge in it to make it look fancy.

“I got you something,” Steve proclaims.

Before you could react, he’s already running to his room to get you your surprise. Your heart begins to skip a beat.

“Stop,” you gush as Steve disappears into his room. “You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to,” Steve insists as he races back out. For someone who was insanely drunk the night before, Steve is so full of energy. “Especially since I made myself look like a fool last night.”

In his hands, Steve unveils something the size of his palm.

It’s a fridge magnet of a Hawaiian hula girl, with a grass skirt, coconut bra, and a beautiful plumeria lei. She’s got sunglasses on, hilariously one that matches Steve’s. The magnet says your name on it in purple.

“Oh my gosh!” you cheer, with slight confusion. “A hula girl magnet.”

“Yeah!” Steve cheers. “I saw it at CVS and had to get it for you.”

You watch in amusement as Steve attempts his own version of a hula dance. He sings a song while he does so, but it sounds like a language he made up and not actual Hawaiian. You can’t help but giggle.

“It’s the closest thing to sunny San Diego that we have here.”

Your heart swells when you realize the meaning behind the gesture. Such a thoughtful thing for Steve to do. It all makes you miss home a bit more. You never did get to properly grieve saying goodbye to the town that raised you. The grip you have on your little gift tightens so much that the hula girl is now starting to hurt you.

“I know how much you probably miss home,” Steve explains. “Hopefully soon you can go back and visit.”

“Thank you,” you sniff. “That is so sweet of you.”

You two kiss again.

Then it goes beyond an endearing peck. It’s three more intense lip locks back to back before Steve slowly starts to insert his tongue. You roll yours along with his, both of your tongues wrestling for dominance. He bites your lower lip, hands moving from your waist to the small of your back. As you surrender your hands against his chest, Steve sneaks a quick grab to one of your ass cheeks. You moan in his mouth.

“So I was thinking…” you smirk, poking Steve at his sides. “That we can spice things up in the bedroom.”

“Ooh,” Steve bites his lip as he draws you closer. “I like where this is going. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking…” you answer. “That I’ll take you up on that voyeur thing. Give Eddie a little show?”

Steve seems puzzled.

“Huh?”

It’s far too late to take anything back now. The worst Steve can say is no.

“Remember yesterday you said that you’re a voyeur. And that we might as well let Eddie watch?” you elaborate. “Maybe we can also do a little more too. You, me, and him?”

“Oh…” Steve’s demeanor softens. He runs his hands through his freshly done hair, then sits down on the bar stool closest to him.

Steve looks at you for a moment, expression unreadable as he shoves his hands into his pocket.

“Hargrove I…” Steve says. “I was kidding.”

You begin to feel yourself flush. “Oh.”

Your friend with benefits taps his feet in thought, making sure to craft his response perfectly out of respect for everyone.

“This is something you really wanted to do?”

“Of course, but if you don’t want to that’s totally okay too!”

You made sure you were clear on that. Steve thinks for a minute again. Then his eyes travels over to the bar stool next to him, where Eddie’s leather jacket is lazily perched atop of. He sighs.

“Who, uh, who was your ride last night?” Steve inquires. “Since you know, I was the one who drove us.”

You gulp. “Eddie was.”

“Oh,” Steve repeats.

He kicks the floor gently with his feet. You, since you’ve been watching his every move, subconsciously follow.

“I’m really sorry if I got your hopes up,” Steve apologizes. “I should’ve never worded the Eddie thing the way I did yesterday. If I’m honest with you, a threesome isn’t something I would be okay with.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Steve hangs his head. “I don’t know if you remember, but a third party is what destroyed my last relationship… so that topic is still pretty sensitive to me.”

You take that back. That’s the worst thing Steve could say.

The space closes up around you and shame starts to fire at you from all corners of the room. You feel like such an idiot for not realizing something so inherently obvious.

“Steve…” you don’t even know where to begin. “I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Hargrove. You didn’t know,” Steve shrugs it off. “It’s not like we’re exclusive either.”

Steve’s phone vibrates, and judging by how fast he gets up, you assume it’s because Dustin is getting closer. You start to reach for your purse, recognizing that your stay is about to be over.

“I feel really bad for taking this now,” you hold the hula girl magnet up to Steve.

But nonetheless, Steve smiles. “Keep it, darling. She suits you.”

Steve still insists on walking you to you car, carrying your purse for you over his shoulder while you fiddle awkwardly with the hula girl. He gives your rosy cheeks one last tender kiss before opening the door to the driver’s side so you can get in.

“Have a good shift,” Steve smiles faintly. “Tell Eddie I got him the Scooby snacks he wanted.”

You try to laugh at the most Eddie thing you’ve ever heard, but it’s not there. So instead you nod. “Of course. Have a good workout, Stevie.”

“Oh, I will.”

———— 𓆩♡𓆪 ———-

When talking with the Hellfire girls, it’s decided that you’re on tip rail tonight. Distracted by the new problem at hand, you naturally end up forgetting a few last minute things. Lucky for you, House Mom had travel sized makeup for you to use and a wide selection of small snacks to choose from.

You’re eating by Nancy’s little concession set up when your boss strides in. Eddie scoots by you, his lack of spacial awareness causing him to bump you aggressively against the hip. With the height difference and how much more bigger he is than you, the small brush shoves you forward.

“Rude,” you call out to him, though you’re only half joking.

“Sorry,” he tuts. “Behind.”

“You better be sorry,” you snap back. “With your mean ass.”

Eddie waltzes back over and asserts himself behind you, resting his rough hands at your sides. Your breathing hitches as he bends down, his curly locks tickling your cheekbones ever so teasingly.

“Would you say I’m being disrespectful?”

You turn to face him and nudge him with your hip. He chuckles slyly.

“Very,” you respond. “Very disrespectful.”

“Disrespectful. Sober,” Eddie rests his chin along your collarbone. “Looks like we both kept our promises.”

You two sway side to side in silence, enjoying the moment. Work is definitely not going to be this slow so you take it all in while you can.

“How’s your day going?” Eddie mumbles against your skin.

“Alright so far,” you respond. “Chrissy and I went to Benny’s for breakfast. And my sister wants a YMCA membership now so I’m either gonna have to pick up more shifts or reallocate some finances…”

“I vouch for the first option,” Eddie smirks.

“Oh yeah? Of course you do.”

“Mhm…” he nods. “Got some things I need you to do for me in the private show room.”

Goosebumps start to rise. You can’t have him here now. Not when you’re about to go on stage pretty soon. Eddie removes his hands from your hips and changes his embrace to a bear hug instead. The swaying continues.

“Billy also called this morning.”

The swaying stops.

“Fuck,” Eddie mutters as you spin around to face him. “You didn’t answer that piece of shit did you?”

“‘Course not,” you cross your arms. “There’s nothing to say or do at this point. He made his bed. My sister and I moved on.”

“Good girl,” he coos. “Your new life is here with us anyways.”

You blush as you suck on your lollipop, eyes meeting Eddie’s once again. Eddie’s dark pupils dilate once more, his tongue venturing out as he licks his lips hungrily.

“Grab your things,” Eddie orders. “Let’s go for a quick smoke.”

You’re back in his van again, smoking the same bong and rolling with the same paper as you did last night. Hopefully this is the redo you’ve been anticipating. Before Eddie lights up the bowl, he glances down at your tote bag.

“Scrubs 4 Less?” he chuckles.

“Oh yeah…” you say. “I may have told my little sister I work nights at the nursing home.”

“You are vile,” Eddie laughs. “Creative, but diabolical and oh so very vile.”

“I prefer the term protective,” you utter as-a-matter-of-factly.

“Mmm, very…” Eddie quips. “Got any spare restraints then, nurse? You got a madman on the loose.”

You bite your lip in absolute lust. “I suppose I can spare a few.”

You kick your stilettos off and rest your feet on Eddie’s lap again. He automatically compensates, staring at you in complete bliss as he exhales.

“Steve bought you your Scooby gummies by the way.”

“Fuck yeah,” he smiles. “Husband of the year.”

Eddie resumes grazing your legs again, rubbing your calves and moving upwards to your thighs. He bombards you with words of endearment, saying he needs to watch the junk food he eats because he’s trying to look good for you. Flustered you slowly sit up, further closing the space between you two and leaning into Eddie’s touch.

Oh yeah, right where you left off.

“I still can’t get over how hot you looked last night,” he says. “Doing your little thing at the VIP table. Downing that tequila. Chewing those gummies while holding your own. You’re something else.”

You blush.

“You were looking pretty hot yourself,” you compliment him and he blushes back. “And when you got all angry at that customer. I was getting all flustered.”

“Mm, you like when I’m aggressive huh?”

“Oh yeah,” you bite your lip. “Love my men rough around the edges.”

So you decide to make the move. Eddie inhales sharply as you scoot yourself closer, leaning in to kiss his soft lips just as you intended to last night. To your shock, you’re taken aback when Eddie pushes you away.

“Whoa!” he exclaims. “Easy there, tiger.”

“What?” is all your mouth can formulate. “Oh no, do I have food in my teeth?”

Eddie chuckles. “No? I just can’t kiss you, silly.”

Bewilderment overrides your horniness now. Removing yourself from Eddie completely, you’re back in your own seat, crossing your legs away from your boss who is still casually lighting up.

“Eddie, what’s going on? I thought we were feeling each other.”

He sets his lighter down and glances over at you.

“Scuse me?”

“Last night…” you remind him. “We were close just like this…you said you wanted to fuck my brains out… told me you were jacking off to my screams in the bathroom.”

“We were fucked up, Hargrove,” Eddie explains. “Okay? It was a mistake.”

“Drunk words are sober thoughts or whatever the fuck right?”

Eddie falls silent. There is no way in the world that this is happening right now. You think about brunch. You think about Chrissy. You think about what Eddie did just fifteen minutes ago that led up to this very moment. But Eddie’s the puzzled one?

“I like you Shy Girl,” Eddie begins. “I really do. But this? Can’t be a thing.”

“Why not?” you find yourself asking. Like a desperate little girl.

“Getting involved with an employee would just open up another can of worms,” Eddie sighs. “I can’t play like that. I won’t play like that.”

That’s his excuse? You find yourself getting even more frustrated. Eddie should have had the same mindset when he was hooking up with Chrissy. What made this situation any different?

But surely, you don’t bring Chrissy up. You didn’t want Eddie to know you knew.

“Eddie,” you try to control your voice. “I thought that after all this… the feeling was mutual.”

Eddie exhales. “Sweetheart… All the pet names and the flirting and the giving rides home…Whatever you picked up on, I do that with everybody.”

He can’t say he didn’t warn you. That was the first phrase of Eddie’s to stick with you entirely. It all felt so personal though. Like everything was geared specifically to you.

“Really?” you demand. “You do it with everybody? The last time I checked, Chrissy had no idea what that orientation lunch that you do with everybody is about.”

“It’s a…newer thing.”

“Or it’s a ploy to get to know me better,” you hiss. “And then what would you have done if you got what you wanted?”

Rage fills you now. Clouded with the anger, you scoop down to grab your bag and push the door of Eddie’s van open. Eddie’s shocked at your sudden behavior change.

“Whatever,” you huff as you climb out. “It’s all good. I gotta get ready for the show.”

“Hargro-” Eddie starts. “Hargrove!”

“And put some more water in that thing, would you?” you California self orders him. “Your lungs will thank me later.”

The little time left before the show permits you to go to the bathroom and cry. Your familiar friend, Loss, is paying you a visit again.

You fucked up. You had someone so good to you, someone so patient and gentle and caring, and you threw that away for your manipulative walking red flag of a boss. Surely, Steve might still want to casually sleep with you, but the energy has shifted now. You’ve lost him, you fear.

But no matter how much you wanted to convince yourself, Steve couldn’t give you everything you wanted. He was still missing something, which is why you stayed falling for Eddie. Or the idea of Eddie, rather. Everything you made him up to be has now been rendered completely false.

So now even Eddie can’t meet you where you’re at.

Emptiness comes by to accompany your friend Loss. Pressing your lips to your arm, you let out a muffled wail.

Fuck. How could you be so damn stupid?

Billy’s words crawl along your back and into your ears. You’re afraid your brother is right again; and for someone as irrational as he is, you can’t help but wonder how that could be true.

“No one loves you as much as I do, and no one will ever love you like I do. We’ll figure it out. Like we always do.”

Come home.

All while abusive, Billy’s love was always unconditional. No matter how far both of you took it, the key was always under the mat. And no matter how many times Max had to separate the two of you, shouting for you two to stop trying to strangle each other, you two always found your way back into each other’s arms.

You two came out of the womb hugging. You escaped your cribs to sleep beside each other. You comforted each other after every beating. You fed Billy to make sure he ate after Mom’s funeral while he did your laundry and laid out your clothes for a week straight. When one of you was in danger, the other just simply knew.

Billy is Love in its truest form. Your greatest comfort. All you’ve ever known. And that alone scared the hell out of you.

It all makes you crumble further. Is your brother’s love as good as it’s ever going to get?

———————

author’s note: our boy eddie is RAN THROUGH!!!!! also i love how ST fanfic writers have all collectively agreed to drag steve to HELL AND BACK for the plot 🫣😩 poor boy never gets a break, not in the original universe, not in this universe, not in any of ‘em

—————

tag list: @changemunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n , @corrodedcoffincumslut , @bebe07011 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe , @hideoutside , @motherfckerrr , @jxpsi i , @munson-magic , @lindseyj23 , @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria , @micheledawn1975 , @holabeans00 , @hereforshmut , @siriuslysmoking

[radiance1]

Vlad Masters. Ceo of Vladco, survivor of Ecto-acne, first halfa to have ever come into existence and brilliant scientist.

Is currently lost.

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before reopening them. He crouched down, before jumping up and over a nearby fence, determined to wander around in hopes of finding a solution to this perdicament.

Curse you, Jack Fenton. He didn't know how, but everything is always, undeniably that oaf's fault.

===

Billy Batson dashed into a nearby alley, urging his legs to keep moving despite the burning feeling in both his legs and chest that demanded he stop. His eyes quickly scanned the alleyway, looking for anywhere to hide, or a path to continue his escape, only for despair to consume his heart.

A dead end.

A loud bark came from behind him, and he turned, blood rushing in his ears as he backed away slowly. He slowly moved his hands forward in front of him, a weak, fearful smile on his face. "E-Easy there, doggies. We can, we can talk this out. Yea?"

The biggest of the three dogs currently chasing him stepped forward, and he stepped back. The dog was all skin and bones, so much so that its ribs were clearly on display, the two smaller dogs behind it weren't faring much better, and only looked to have just a bit more meat on their bones than the one in front. The dog growled lowly, taking another step forward, while Billy took another step back.

"Ok uh, just- just wait a second okay...?" Billy slowly reached a hand up to the strap of his old bag and lifting it from his back. He slowly unzipped it and reached inside, digging around while keeping his eyes straight on of the dog in front of him, his hand hit his desired object and he slowly pulled it from his bag, before throwing it in front of the dog.

The dog sniffed the object, before taking the pack of jerky and slowly walking backwards, eyes trained on the human in front. Billy felt like crying.

That was supposed to be my lunch and Dinner...

The dog threw the pack of jerky over its shoulder, and the two dogs behind didn't waste a moment before ripping open the packaging and chowing down on the jerky inside. With each and every chomp, Billy felt more and more like he would cry. From his position, he could see the amount being reduced down to the single digits under seconds, before the two dogs stopped eating, instead licking the crumbs from the packaging and then raising their heads to bark happily, causing Billy to almost smile.

Almost.

If he weren't lamenting over the fate of his lunch and dinner for the next few days being gone in under 10 seconds.

The dog in front barked again, taking another step forward and Billy flinched. "Oh, oh! Uh, I'm sorry but I don't have anything else. So, so uh." Billy take another step backwards, cold sweat running down his face as he felt his back hit the wall. "So how about you guys, you know, leave me alone now?" He squeaked out.

The biggest dog growled lowly before, with surprising speed, ran forward and sank its teeth into Billy's bag. "He- HEY! Wait!" Billy struggled to both pull the bag back into his arms and not cause it to tear at the same time.

Unfortunately, very difficult to do in this situation.

"How are you so strong!?" Billy nearly sobbed, he's losing to a dog! "I only have one of these you know!? So let go already!" Billy held onto his bag's straps for tear life, struggling to gain more ground in this tug of war, before the sound of leather starting to tear reached his ears.

"My bag!" Billy tug his feet into the ground, finally succeeding in gaining from ground when he readjusted his hold from the straps to the top of it, before the other two dogs joined in.

He thinks he's going to lose a bag.

"Meow."

All movement ceased. The sound of struggle being replaced by silence as both human and dog(s) looked for the source of the sound.

"Meow."

They looked up, and a singular (extremely fluffy) black cat with fully red eyes stared back. The two younger dogs whined, ears lowering as the biggest began to growl.

"Meow." The cat meowed for a third time, staring down the three dogs intensely. The smaller dogs instantly let go, and fearfully backed away while the biggest ears lowered, yet their teeth was still lodged into Billy's bag.

"Meow." It meowed once more, fixing the biggest dog with the full brunt of its stare, and paralyzing it from fear, before a few seconds later it let go of the bag and backed away, turning around and barking at the two smaller dogs as they ran away from alleyway.

Billy blinked, staring at the retreating backs of the dogs until he couldn't see them, in disbelief. He stared back up at the cat, who licked the back of its paw and raised it up to its head to groom its fur. Billy quickly stared at its neck, seeing the lack of a pet collar of any kind.

"Meow." The cat stared at him with one open eye, and Billy jolted. "Oh! Uh! Thank you!" Billy nodded his head in thankfulness, before staring at his bag. "Oh right. My bag."

Billy felt like crying. Staring down at the nearly broken bag covered with bite marks. Actually, scratch that.

So he started crying.

[witchofthemidlands]

“there is one thing that i can never do, ruby & that's take you to that church on ruby road that christmas. absolutely never.” - the doctor

[citizenscreen]

Jimmy and Billie outside their Beverly Hills home with their beloved Chow Reddy, circa 1935

[burningexeter]

Let me give this show some attention since why not.

Here's a fairly solid amount of all the different kinds of media that I think both can fit well in and could share the same universe as Bede Blake & Robert Butler's Creeped Out, which you can both read and see below for yourself:

First off, here's the episodes from both seasons that are all set in the same universe as each other in this "Verse" —

Season 1

— Slapstick, Trolled, A Boy Called Red, Kindlesticks, Shed No Fear and Side Show 1 & 2

Season 2

— Itchy, The Many Place, The Unfortunate Five, No Filter, The Takedown & Splinta Claws

Eight downer endings and four good endings.

Second, now here's the actual universe —

• Dan Angel & Billy Brown's R.L. Stine's The Haunting Hour: The Series

— Every episode of the entire series except Red Eye, Poof De Fromage, Bad Egg, Mrs. Worthington and Lotsa Luck

• Jeff Kline's Transformers Prime & Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising

• Dan Mandel & Chris Pearson's Dan Vs.

• Dan Cross & David Hoge's Pair Of Kings

• Amy Heckerling's Fast Times At Ridgemont High & Clueless (1995)

• David Mirkin's Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

• Lloyd Goldfine's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003)

• Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories

— Every episode of the entire series except Guilt Trip and Family Dog

• Michael Lehmann's Heathers (1988)

• Stephen Herek's Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead (1991)

• Darren Stein's Jawbreaker (1999)

• Harry Elfont & Deborah Kaplan's Josie and the Pussycats (2001)

• Roberto Aguirre-Sarcasa's Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina (Netflix)

• Alfred Gough & Miles Millar's Wednesday (Netflix)

• Edgar Wright's Don't (Fake Trailer)

• Rob Zombie's Werewolf Women Of The S.S. (Fake Trailer)

• Eli Roth's Thanksgiving (Fake Trailer & 2023 film)

• Neil Gaiman's Good Omens (TV Series)

• Matthew Vaughn's Kingsman: The Secret Service

• Joel Schumacher's The Lost Boys (1987)

• Stephen Chow's Shaolin Soccer

• New Line Cinema's Critters (1 & 2)

• Joe Dante's The 'Burbs (1988)

• Gil Kenan's A Boy Called Christmas (2021)

and

• Michael Dougherty's Trick r Treat & Krampus

[radioisntdead]

Hello hello,

It's been a while since I put in a request since I've been busy with tests, but I'm back with a new request!!

Could we maybe have a flower demon that died from hanahaki disease (she still has a few symptoms in hell, just to the point where she doesn't feel pain), talking about her past love to the hotel?? (another song fic, Everything I wanted by Ms Billie eilish)

And heroes love could be someone like alastor or vox?? Idk rlly know, I just want some sweet angst to chow down on 🤤

Your Dearest,

-XIN 🐇🤍

Good evening my dear Xin! I WAS SO EXCITED TO GET THIS REQUEST FROM YOU BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE SOMETHING WITH HANAHAKI FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS NOW, I misread the bottom part of your request and that's why there's that part at the end, anywho! I hope you enjoy!

Baby's breath

Hazbin x reader

Warnings: reader's past love is gender neutral you can make them whatever gender or if you wanna keep em' nonbinary it's up to you! I imagine the reader looking like one of those flowers from the animated disney Alice in wonderland, reader's lowkey victim blamed for their death.

Song used

I had a dream

"[NAME]! Damn it, [NAME]! Open the door this instant! Please open the door! [NAME]!" The person that caused this shouted your name as they banged on the door, twisting and turning the knob desperately trying to open the door.

You were curled up on the cold tile of the bathroom flower, baby's breath flower buds were scattered across the floor covered in blood, you felt the plant squeezing at your lungs as more came up your throat, clawing it's way up.

I got everything I wanted

You didn't want to die, truly but you didn't want to give up your love for the by the way of surgery like a damned fool.

And now you pay the ultimate price for your love.

A pitiful death.

In your bathroom.

Not what you'd think

The flowers came and came out until it was too much, flowers filled your mouth and lungs effectively suffocating you to death.

The last thing you heard was the door finally being opened and a wail of pure unbridled agony following it.

And if I'm being honest, It might've been a nightmare

You woke up in hell, honestly not where you were expecting to end up but you suppose it might be related to how you die, you willingly chose not to get the surgery after all.

After the shock of being dead you realized you were a flower, a beautiful flower with human like mannerisms, like those flowers in Alice in wonderland.

To anyone who might care

You still had some of the hanahaki symptoms even in hell, it wasn't anything too extreme just, coughing up baby's breath and a stinging pain every once in awhile.

You eventually found yourself in the hazbin hotel, not as a resident per say but Charlie thought they could use a gardener, especially with the hotel rebuilt, and who better than the flower who died by flowers to be the gardener?

Although no one knew how you died.

Thought I could fly fly So I stepped off the Golden, mm

That was until Charlie organized a little activity, having everyone write a short story and share it with the others.

And Niffty, oh darling Niffty, the first man slayer, resident roach killer, wrote a lovely little story about hanahaki disease that left a couple of the residents misty eyed, Alastor making a comment about how it was a foolish way to die, especially when there's a way to be rid of it and Charlie flat out sobbing.

Nobody cried cried, cried, cried, cried

There was only one thing you wanted to correct about it, just a little inaccuracy and when she bit back with a "Welllll how do you know it's not accurate?" You replied with a "Because I died from it? I think I'd know how it happens."

The silence that followed was stiff, awkward and suffocating, not as suffocating as the flowers that killed you but suffocating nonetheless.

"It's not as bad as it sounds! I mean it did hurt like a motherfucker but it was baby's breath so it's not like there were any thorns?" You attempted to backtrack, but within a moment Charlie pulled you into a hug.

Nobody even noticed

And so you decided to recount to your dear friends your involvement with the person who was the reason for those blooming flowers that had caused your untimely demise.

Niffty had a notepad out to write things down for her next fanfiction.

I saw them standing right there

You were standing outside your college study hall waiting for the rain to stop.

Kinda thought they might care might care, might care

You had forgotten your umbrella and they offered to share theirs with you.

I had a dream

They had bright eyes, a warm smile, and a cheerful demeanor, they were like the embodiment of sunshine.

I got everything I wanted, but when I wake up, I see

After that a friendship bloomed the two of you would study together, walk each other to classes, get lunch together.

You with me and you say

They were there for you when no one else was, they were your soil, they were the one you would call when everything was crashing down around you.

Showering you with lovely words, saving you a seat, being a good friend.

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you"

How could you not fall for them?

Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to

Those feelings of yours were never going to be returned, no matter what you did.

If I could change the way that you see yourself

The two of you were taking a break from studying, they were laid flat on their back on your bed while you were leaning on your desk, chatting about recent events in your friend group, like how so and so got together with what's his face or how girl B got a new dog.

You wouldn't wonder why you hear

"Out of pure curiosity, do you like anyone? a bunch of our friends are getting together so.." you asked innocently enough,

They hummed, "in like a romantic sense? Nah-" they let out a nervous chuckle, "I don't think I'm really built for romance, I don't really feel romantic attraction, if that makes sense?" They moved to sit upwards, shrinking themselves into their yellow sweater.

"Oh, yeah that makes sense, no worries."

"Oh thank God, Anyways did you hear that-"

'They don't deserve you'"

The petals appeared soon after that.

I tried to scream but my head was underwater

You remember booking it into a bathroom, locking the door behind you as you struggled to stop your coughing.

Small white petals barely the size of a crumb scattered across the sink.

They called me weak

Hanahaki disease, not common per say but not rare either.

Like I'm not just somebody's daughter

You made no move to move on from these feelings.

You didn't want to get the surgery to remove the flowers growing within you, it would've been better to do so, but there was that small chance that along with those pesky feelings of yours, memories of that person would disappear with it, and did you really want to take that chance?

It could've been a nightmare but it felt like they were right there

And so you let it fester, and grow.

Petals turned into full baby's breath flowers, small but deadly if your coughing them up from your lungs.

And it feels like yesterday was a year ago

Day by day it got worse, until you ended up coughing up a handful of bloodied baby's breath in front of them during a dinner along with some of your friends, some who knew, and some who didn't.

But I don't wanna let anybody know

You booked it to the bathroom where it got progressively worse, they banged on that door and shouted until their hands were scratched and their voice was raw.

'Cause everybody wants something from me now

Another one of your friends got a screw driver and took the hinges off the door to get to you, but it was far too late.

And I don't wanna let 'em down

You were found surrounded by those white flowers, eyes glossed over and wide open and stems peering out from your throat.

I had a dream, I got everything I wanted

It looked hauntingly pretty.

But when I wake up, I see

They screamed as they covered their mouth.

You with me and you say

Eventually one of the other friends who knew decided to fill them in on your little crush on them, at your funeral, you know like an asshole.

They were filled with guilt.

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you"

They did love you, just not in the way you loved them, and it wasn't their fault that you died, after all you were the one who refused to get help for it.

Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to

But still, they felt guilty, maybe if things were different you would be alive, maybe if they never offered you their umbrella that day, maybe if they could feel those feelings you would?

If I could change the way that you see yourself

Yellow roses were left at your grave every death anniversary, birthday and holiday, it was the last thing they could do, maybe if you weren't in hell you would know about it.

You wouldn't wonder why you hear

It was a tragic and foolish situation either way, you made your decisions and you paid the price for it.

'They don't deserve you'

Although if you knew it was going to end like this, would you let yourself die again?

If I knew it all then, would I do it again?

Would you let yourself move on? Would you have gotten the surgery?

Would I do it again?

Or would you sit like a duck again waiting for death to wrap it's wings around you and drag you down to the firey pits of hell?

If they knew what they said would go straight to my head

No one shared any of their short stories after that, which was probably a good thing since Angel dust was next and who knows what filth he wrote.

It was a nice activity while it lasted.

What would they say instead?

Life in the hotel continued after that, you grew particularly close with Alastor who enjoyed lowkey mocking your way of death, and Niffty who liked showing you her fanfictions written with hanahaki as a plotline.

If I knew it all then, would I do it again?

"I'll be right there in a minute Charlie I need to use the restroom first!" You shouted down to the princess as you ran down the hallways into a bathroom.

Would I do it again?

You closed the door behind you as a flowery hand darted up to your mouth as you coughed.

If they knew what they said would go straight to my head

Red tulip petals fell from your lips, you stared at them as they laid in the sink, a sick sense of nostalgic deja vu filled you.

"Fuck."

What would they say instead?

Are you doing to do something about it this time? Or will history repeat itself again?

Good evening folks! I hope you enjoyed this, I had so much fun writing it! Me sending copy and pasted paragraphs about baby's breath meanings in the discord is proof lmao, anywho I hope you all have a wonderful night and as per usual thank you for tuning in!

Speaking of our discord you should join!