#both by cis people and. oh! by you! trans person that hates me for my gender identity! wow crazy!

[the-mad-owl]

Nonbinary language being made fun of by other trans people really does hit different still 🫠

[akajustmerry]

bisexuals aren’t gay they’re bisexual. it’s not the same. gay people face persecution worlwide and cannot marry or date the person they love in more than 70% of countries on this planet. bi people can opt out and date the opposite sex whenever they want

so no being bi is not even remotely comparable

oh my fucking gooooooooood i SAID if I received ANY bi privilege discourse asks I would be billing for time wasted.

So hello! I'm an unemployed trans bisexual of colour who was bullied out of their last workplace and is currently recovering from debilitating surgery. In the time it took you to type this biphobic gobbledygook out, you could have donated a few dollars to my paypal or ko-fi so so I have less stress paying for doctors appointments and buying groceries.

you clearly a) hate bi people and b) assume we're all cis gender nonconforming people in "straight" relationships which isn't fucking true c) if this ask is in response to the asks I received about fucking...LESTAT being bisexual in iwtv??? the two main relationships he has in that show are with MEN so what the fuck are you talking about?? and d) do you seriously think bi people in gay relationships have a magical forcefield around us so we're not impacted by homophobia?? do you think trans bi people's ability to be in "straight" relationships saves us from transphobia?

I'll tell you what being bi definitely doesn't save you from - intimate partner violence! and bisexual women especially are at the highest risk. Or did you think it was merely a coincidence that Amber Heard, Megan Thee Stallion, and Evan Rachel Wood - who all had high profile IPV court cases in the last few years - are all bisexual women?

The idea that bi people can "opt out" of danger is simply not accurate or true when bisexual women are at the highest risk of violence in both "straight" and queer relationships. bi women are at risk of DV from men as well as experiencing the same homophobic persecution any gay person does while in a gay relationship. tell me, how's your fucking "opt out because they're not gay" theory of bisexuality looking now? Sure, many bi people are in "straight" relationships, but this isn't even unique to bi people. Like are you also going to claim that queer people in lavender arrangements or abstaining from relationships all together also have "opted out"?? Be serious. Be so fucking serious.

Oh. Do me one last favour! can you contact the members of my own family who no longer speak to me because they found out I was bisexual? Can you explain to my dad's cousin who told me I needed therapy to "fix" my homosexuality that, actually, I can also fuck guys so it's fine? That'd be lovely, thanks.

Anyways so glad we had this whole chat. I have no fucking clue what people want from these kinds of discussions about bisexuality other than an excuse to be a piece of shit. get well soon though <3

[doberbutts]

So after seeing your post about BES I finally started watching it and damn. DAMN. People saw Mizu and can’t understand why transmascs gravitate to this story???????? I’m pretty sure “using bandages to bind chest” is like one of THE TOP symbolic moves that transmascs gravitate to when it comes to our (admittedly lackluster) representation in media.

Also, I feel like a lot of people get really weird about the idea that a story about empowering women and a story that’s relatable to transmascs aren’t mutually exclusive. I won’t speak for everyone but personally I like stories like this that don’t shy away from representing people whose AGAB doesn’t align with their outward actions.

And! Personally! As a man who is East Asian living in the US and has a higher voice even after 5 years on T, characters like Mizu rekindle my hope that one day I’ll be able to pass as flawlessly as him lol. Characters like Mizu, Mulan, Haruhi (from ouran high school host club) always seem to spark that little bit of hope in me… that maybe one day I won’t have to try so hard to be accepted and people will just see me and assume I’m a boy without me having to correct them… or at the very least, that they’d refrain from using any gendered language towards me until they ask and find out what I want to be referred as.

Oh for sure. It's like the Mulan thing. Like I'm sorry but you put "when will my reflection show who I am inside" and "who is that girl" and "why is my reflection a stranger" and you're mad that trans guys went "wow where'd you get that picture of me" like??? In a deleted scene, Mizu tries to play with her feminity in the mirror at the brothel and ultimately scowls and doesn't like what she sees- and you're trying to tell me that it's *not* supposed to be relateable to trans mascs trying to be feminine women and hating what they see reflected back at them?

Like you said, it's not that I'm mad that this is a story about empowering women and featuring a highly GNC woman as its main character. It's just annoying, and more importantly highly concerning, that people seem to think that because it's about empowering masculine women that trans mascs can't or shouldn't see any of themselves in it. I'm an entire grownass binary trans man and throughout my entire life I have felt more seen and more fellowship with masculine women both fictional and real than I have with anyone else except specific gay cis men who were very gender themselves.

And yeah. As your existence proves, it's not like East Asian trans mascs aren't real??? Like I'm sure there's nuance there that I'm missing because despite being biracial I'm not Asian and *definitely* not Japanese. But acting like characters like Haruhi, or Mizu, or Mulan [Chinese] *can't* be trans mascs because that'a inherently disrespectful to East Asian women is just plain erasing the fact that, um, Japanese and Korean and Chinese and Thai and Vietnamese and more trans mascs absolutely do exist and have existed as long as gender has existed.

[moondyad]

sometimes i scroll all the way over to that "news" section on my phone and see random articles recommended to me by google. today i was met with this article:

(you don't have to read it or give it any traction, it doesn't deserve that. it's simply here for context)

confused by the title, i was hooked into reading it. but the conclusion was simply, "My Lady Jane almost got as many renewal signatures as The Acolyte got, so the fans who did sign the petition are a vocal minority." and then went on to say this:

and i went "oh". these questions told me everything i needed to know about the author, he was a cis white guy. i scrolled to the end and sure enough, i was right. it really pisses me off when people are so entitled that they think something is just for them and should never branch out into appealing to other demographics. watching a cis white man protagonist in a movie or series never bothered me, why does it bother a cis white man when that situation is reversed, unless it comes down to bigotry?

forgotten what they are? the original trilogy was anti-war messaging and influenced heavily by a Japanese film, The Hidden Fortress. like frankly, shut the hell up. i'm so sorry that you got 7 (the new one making it 8) movies and ~7 series where a protagonist was a cis man who you could relate to. why is it so wrong to have media be "something for everyone" without the implicit reason being to alienate poc, lgbtq, or other minorities from your fandom.

yes, there is this almost weird corporate pandering where minorities get shoved in a role to be the "token", we generally don't like that shit either. we don't want half-baked representation. having a black woman protagonist just... being on the screen, is not "woke" corporate pandering!! what do you do if you pass a black woman on the street? scream, cry, throw a fit? i'm sorry to tell you that people exist?

i know this fandom is full of older white men, but i am continually surprised by the general narrow-mindedness and lack of media literacy that is so prevalent among them. when they willfully ignore the more progressive messaging of the original movies, it's like the alt-right manosphere space using The Matrix as a "stop being a societal sheep" metaphor when the directors and writers of the movie were two trans women who intended for the movie to be a metaphor for transformation. i won't say transness explicitly, because both of them were closeted at the time of making it and admit they only knew how to depict that in the form of their character, Switch, who was a trans allegory.

i for one was left with more questions than answers at the end of The Acolyte. i am a very lore-focused individual and tend to dissect things with the culmination of the information i know. but i did not hate the show. the characterization didn't have enough time to breathe for decisions to have felt earned, and just in general the pacing was quite fast. the newer concepts like heavily grey characters and Osha/Mae being the same person were very exciting to me, and i had hoped to learn more about Qimir in the next season. now i'll never get that chance.

if criticisms of the show stuck to the fast pacing or plot holes, we wouldn't be having this discussion. i like to think that one day these older fans will recognize the irony of their stances, but it might just be wishful thinking.

[secretgamergirl]

When Complete BS Becomes "Common Knowledge."

Someone told me they stopped paying attention to someone who reviews movies after one too many mean-spirited jokes about trans people, and it was one of those cases where the reviewer in question definitely had the vibe of someone who'd go around doing that, but I couldn't think of any real flagrant examples. Cut to me watching a movie the other day, remembering that oh yeah, I skipped that one guy's review of it because I wanted to go in blind, and sure enough, that review has this big long crappy 5 minute aside of an out of left field "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER!?" routine. So that's a shame.

Now this particular guy rather famously Does Not Get Out Much. Pretty sure he hasn't really have any exposure to a single trans person, or to any real die hard transphobes, and most likely what happened here is he saw I dunno, an episode of South Park or a facebook post from some bigoted aunt, or some Tiktok video, something like that, and just blithely assimilated it into his world view.

But you know, the reality is... to the best of my knowledge no trans person has ever actually said this, or anything similar to this, and we sure as hell don't live in a world where anyone would have the back of someone who did? But you know, here we are.

Now I want to be clear, this isn't some kinda thing where trans people can't take a joke or anything. Literally while I was typing this, some cis guy just tossed this out, and this is a real tired old hokey one, but I cracked a smile, because oh yeah, the whole "programmer socks" bit really is a weirdly accurate stereotype.

And there's plenty of other trans jokes I'll laugh at. Ones directly at my expense. Some real dark ones even. You wanna go off on trans women all having the same like 10 names and them all sounding like we were born in the 1800s, go for it. Other stuff about how we all dress? Coping mechanisms? Low standards? Being too into pickles and sriracha? There's plenty.

But "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER!?" and while we're at it, "I identify as..." don't even have the vague shape of something you're ever going to encounter in reality. Like if I didn't know the context of where these came from and hadn't had them posted a thousand times or so by people with swastikas for avatars and such, these probably would get a laugh from me the first time I heard them, because they sound like weird surrealist humor. Like, "don't you hate how every time you go to the laundromat, you have to play chess with the dragon before they let you in?"

But, again, I know the context. And the context is a bunch of fascists want people like me dead, and they're both too scared to pick up a gun to do it themselves and too incompetent to know who to point it at or where to find them. So they sit around with each other and go "hey, what sort of person does everyone hate? Let's all say trans people talk like them!" And because they haven't spoken to a single human being besides each other and the rich parents they're sponging off since getting banned from the Something Awful forums in the 90s/punk bar in the 80s/whatever, they settled on "rich white person calling the cops on somebody for walking down the street" and "didn't I first get into being a hatemonger because I was stupid enough to think that time I saw someone roleplaying he really thought he was a big scary dragon?" Which has honestly worked out weirdly well for them when you stop for half a second to appreciate just how absolutely ridiculous it is to ever imagine cops coming to the aid of trans people.

Like... here's a situation that actually plays out in reality. I have a bad tooth. Dentist says I need a root canal, and she doesn't do them. Refers me to another dentist like an hour and a half away. I walk in, write my Victorian sounding name on some paperwork, fill in all my various medications, wait a bit, hop into the big dentist's chair, so far so good. This dentist busts out the pick and the mirror about to have a look, and goes "hey, so I noticed on your medications you're taking a ton of something called divigel? What is that?" I say "oh, yeah, I'm trans, so I'm on supplemental estradiol." She almost drops the mirror, stares at me like she just realized I'm Venom and if she bent down to look at my teeth I was about to swallow her whole head. She stands bolt upright, says, "your teeth are fine, get out." I'm a bit confused, but I can read a room, so I say "well that's weird, but OK..." and start to leave. I get a "have a nice day SIR!" shouted at me. And then I go out, call the cab company to say my appointment ended early, and get told too bad, it's coming when it's scheduled, and someone snickers. See, at some point in having to take cabs to all my appointments, a driver worked out that this woman he'd been picking up from this address for the past year has a similar voice to and maybe vague family resemblance to who he'd been picking up from that same address the year prior, and after getting the courage to ask me, guess who's constantly having cabs show up late, or not at all, or on time with a driver staring angrily into the rear view mirror while blaring AM radio with someone shouting about all "the gays" needing to be rounded up so they can burn in hell. And I just need to suck it up and live with it. I'm sure as hell not going to pick a fight over it. I'm just gonna stand out in the cold (fortunately with nice warm knee-high socks) waiting for this cab for an hour because I sure as hell can't stay in this lobby.

But again, the whole weird myth here posits a world where trans people are all-powerful and control the government and stuff. And the basis for that is like... sometimes people refuse to pass ridiculous laws to stop trans people from doing things we only do in bigots' imaginations at great taxpayer expense, and SOMETIMES someone is responsible enough to double check what's up before they allocate the funds. Like... hell, you know what's exactly as completely divorced from reality and honestly the same people doing to same crap? That wild BS about "schools keeping litter boxes in classrooms because all this acceptance of trans people means we also have to accept kids who think they're cats!" Like... how the hell can anyone actually be stupid enough to believe that anyone else could be stupid enough to believe that they're actually stupid enough to believe such an OBVIOUSLY made-up narrative? Like... lawmakers bring that one up and try to get bills passed on it. Everyone else in the room is socially obligated not to laugh and ask whether they also want to pass legislation against Bat Boy and UFO abductions. This is Ralph Wiggum tier absurdity.

But like... what do you do about this sort of thing, really? As the person ultimately has to deal with the dentists who think I'll bite their heads off, ask to speak to their manager, and drop trou over a sandbox the state mandates they keep in the middle of the room, I'm... not in the room when this BS gets concocted, or discussed, or shared in Minions meme some film critic sees and imitates to try and be relatable and relevant. Can someone else start grabbing all these people by the lapels and shake them and shout questions about how they can be this stupid, maybe invite them back to reality for me?

[bisexualseraphim]

Alright fine I’m gonna speak my mind.

My cis followers, listen up:

Being attracted to trans people is not inherently a fetish. The way you speak about trans people CAN be fetishistic, but 99% of the time when I see cis people calling out trans fetishism it’s literally just. Someone being really horny for a trans person. That’s not inherently fetishistic.

Sorry but it actually hurts me a little when I see cis people claim that a content creator is being fetishistic for drawing a trans guy with tits and a pussy, or for writing smut where a trans guy really enjoys using his pussy for sex, or God forbid said trans guy is fem. Trans people like that exist, you know. I myself have a pussy and fuck yes do I want people I’m in a relationship with to be attracted to it. And the same goes for many transfemmes who keep their natal parts, especially butch transfemmes.

Trans people are not a monolith. We don’t all hate our bodies or experience dysphoria or express our genders the same way. I swear to God cis people are all “allies” until a trans man is fem or a trans woman is butch or an enby isn’t androgynous or we actually enjoy our bodies or we have a kink or sexual fetish you don’t like.

Cis people: I know your hearts are in the right place and I appreciate that, but spouting “oh this content is fetishistic and Bad because trans men NEVER like their vaginas and are NEVER feminine” (or something equal to other trans people) is seriously not the allyship you think it is.

There is absolutely a conversation to be had about fetishising trans people — chasers in particular — but it’s quite a bit less black and white than hating certain FICTIONAL portrayals of trans people because these types of trans people exist in real life and we can see what you say about us.

I love my dick and my pussy (because I have both — are you aware we can have both?) but I saw a post today by someone I really like that actually made me feel kind of shit about myself because it was a cis person essentially saying that smut that describes my genitals in any particularly horny light is fetishistic and that really kind of hurt me. It made me feel like people think I’m undesirable due to my body only it was said in some backwards attempt to be an ally which is almost worse than deliberate transphobia lol.

I guess my point is: not all trans people’s feelings and experiences are universal. Call out obvious transphobia when you see it, yes, but please stop speaking for us about complex situations you just can’t fully understand unless you’re trans. Trans identities and experiences can be so much more complicated than what mainstream celebrities and articles will tell you and I just really need cis people to stop behaving as though the issues we face are a quick and easy fix. It never is. Sometimes the best allyship is to listen to how WE feel and take it into consideration instead of saying whatever you think we want you to say — because a lot of the time, we don’t.

[punkeropercyjackson]

I was a Percy Jackson kid not only in the sense of being a fan of the book series but also in the sense that i was exactly like Percy and this is why i have zero sympathy for Harry Potter kids who still like the series or 'Marauder's Era' or whatever they're calling it now to excuse not growing up to care about other people

I'm autistic.I showed blatant symptoms my whole life but everyone around me denied them to reduce me down to a 'gifted kid' or 'an idiot' depending on the situation and my relathionships with other kids were always either complex at best or nonstop bullying on their side at worst.I'm black and queer in every direction too(in the sense that i am both a man and a woman both in a non-cis way,into all genders and aroacespec).All this lead to a lot of feelings of otherness and anger but i never let that stop me from still being nice to almost everyone and getting into fights at school from standing up to bullies that a lot the time weren't even targeting me but other kids i didn't even really know.This is why Percy is my all time favorite character,because he was the first time i saw someone like me be the protagonist and i still see myself in him as much as i did back then

Harry Potter is none of that and i mean the whole franchise.SO MANY of the people in the series are perpetrators of toxicity and even corruption and there was a whole sorted house at Hogwarts set out to opress the minority metaphors that nobody ever bothered to try to disband,not even the oh so precious 'Chosen One',and that includes the fandom.'Slytherins are discrimated for being ambitious' genuinely felt like microaggression to me back when i was in the fandom because 'discrimation'?Really? They called people slurs,they assaulted them too,they were a literal wizard fascist breeding machine that SPECIFICALLY AIMED TO DO THAT and their founder was a believer in eugenics who tried to kill kids via giant snake plus extra effects over it.I actually felt in danger of my mental health whenever my poor trans and mentally disabled black kid ass had to read that decades running baloney on how white kids are victims of child abuse too because their parents taught them to not think of me and my people as,well,people instead of inherently so below them that i'm obliged to forgive them dehumaizing me because they 'actually more alike than either us think'

And the scariest part was the people of all ages across the fandom were talking how much they relate to them and wanna be like them and got super upset and cruel in actions when irl minorities were mean to them over it as if they weren't drooling over bigotry motivated abusers and taking it like a personal attack every time.At the risk of sounding corny:You weren't a 'troubled kid',you were just an asshole and now you're a grown up asshole who thinks hating Taylor Swift is misogyny and has 'obsessed with dead gay wizards from the 70s' in their bio and call yourself punk because you dress edgy and have attitude problems you call being fluent in sarcasm

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

CW: vent, transphobia, anon hate, anger inducing

Already blocked that transphobic anon, and I know I shouldn't let them bother me, but it's pushed me to the limit

The amount of hatred and transphobia I both get and see from others is disheartening.

The treatment you get whether you're born female or present female or feminine in any way regardless of your sex or gender is horrible. If you're a cis woman, if you're a feminine cis man, if you're a trans masc who hasn't/doesn't want to transition (or still very much enjoys being feminine), if you're trans fem, if you're any type of feminine whatsoever.

When I was a child, I was taught that I was born evil because I was born with a vagina and uterus. I'm still told that to this day.

I still suffer from misogyny, I still have "women's health issues", I still get treated poorly, I still get talked over, I still have my intelligence questioned, and I do not pass as a man at all nor do I really want to. Now I suffer from transphobia alongside it.

I don't even want to be a man or a woman. I want to be my own thing. And I am my own thing.

People get angry with me for the trans thing, for the masc thing, for the nonbinary thing, for the vagina-having thing, for the androgyne thing, for every single thing about me.

So I get transphobia from cishet people angry that I'm trans even though I don't "look the part", and who call me "they" or "she", no matter how many times I politely ask for them to call me "he". Then question my intelligence because I was born with a uterus.

And I get transphobia from fellow queer people who think that I'm evil and go "why can't you just be a girl? Why can't you just be a feminine nonbinary who uses she/they? Why do you have to be a traitor?" Then question my competence because of my labels and pronouns.

And they both call me "girl" then get angry at me for saying, "hey that makes me feel dysphoric please stop." And they claim "but I was using it in a gender neutral way!!! People say 'dude' all the time!!!"

I don't say "dude" or "girl" at people unless I know for sure that they're okay with it, because it's called respect.

How about we all just stop thinking in the binary please. I'm not a binary person. I use binary descriptors but I'm very clearly nonbinary. I mean that to the fullest extent.

I'm a mascfem androgyne who wants to have both sets of genitals. Yes I'm technically "trans masc" and like to use masculine descriptors and even call myself gay and achillean. But that doesn't mean I'm strictly binary, especially not whatever binary is being thrown around right now.

I'm very thankful and glad I have friends who support me, but unfortunately there are so many people who want me to just be a girl again.

So yeah, I get stressed out whenever I get messages and anons from people who spew their hatred of anything trans masculine then say "oh by the way I'm not being transphobic :)"

Yes you are.

You're being putrid to a stranger because of this thing you made up in your head.

I'm going to block the next person, I don't care how long we've been friends, who posts anything hateful about any queer identity. I've already blocked plenty of transphobic, biphobic, enbyphobic, and acephobic people.

Please just respect others' identities. Yes, you can go "ugh that's so stupid and lame" in your head, but please do not spiral out of control and start hating individuals over it.

[painfullyprickedandticked]

tell us more abt alastor x striker (⁠･ั⁠ω⁠･ั⁠)

okay so this was honestly more of a thing that started as a joke when I saw this fic on AO3 but then derailed into serious territory. I'm guessing that's what Straz is to the people who ship it.

Personally I started it as "lol the sex apathetic asexual and a homophobic closeted fruitcake who pretends like he's never flirted with men ever" kind of thing. They both bond over being the most sexualized men in hell. And being willing to do the most criminal things because anarchy, and because there's no limits except like. The obvious.

I don't know what the fuck happened. I blame my friend Sea for this. But it devolved into them going from being mutual allies and plotting on murdering the monarchy to "Ah fuck, I think I actually like this guy."

Alastor would see Striker as basically. The only man who isn't so repulsive to him, solely because there's this respect he has. Oh, you hate the royals too? Join the club. Maybe give me one of those Carmine guns. And Striker thinks the cannibalism is kinda freaky but hey, it's a way to clean up bodies. The only reason they ever cross paths is because Striker decided he wanted to kill Lucifer. The radio demon himself is like "shit bitch, me too"

They didn't kill Lucifer. He lives, unfortunately. But Striker gained a drinking partner and a boyfriend that could probably, maybe, actually help him in his killing sprees and succeed.

Who says that murder isn't the way into someone's heart after all??? It isn't Bonnie and Clyde, it's Beau and Clyde.

I am embarrassed to admit I have written possibly the most shameless fic ever because of this pairing. Also I like to imagine trans!Alastor/Striker, trans!Striker/Alastor or T4T because cis hcs are for the weak

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Okay, I want to talk about the Trans Richie headcannon. I'm not going to say anything bad about it, this is just some ideas and opinions about it, regarding it as canon.

I like the idea that if Richie and/or Trevor were trans, they'd be given an alliterative name set originally. Like Richie and Rachel, Trevor and Tracey, or Samantha and Sabrina; something like that. And then when one or both changed their names, they were so relieved that their names didn't start with the same letter anymore. Maybe they even hated it so much that they'd like... go by Chel, CeCe, Sam and Rina. Shit like that, that'd be so funny.

I would really like to see a show about how they grew up. As much as I don't know how to feel about a cis person playing a trans character, I also wouldn't want Richie played by anyone else— *the idea of Jae Hughes as Richie* Okay, that'd actually be pretty sick, and you could have both Trevor and Richie on stage without Jon having to do a bunch of quick changes, or prerecordings, and you could even have them on stage at the same time, but YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYING! Anyway, I think it'd be really neat to have a song of Richie post-transition and Richie pre-transition singing about how they feel out of place, or how they have this secret that they have to keep, pre-trans not being out at all, and post-trans having transitioned in stealth mode. It'd be cook to see 'her' looking in a mirror or something, seeing post-trans Richie there because that's what they want to be. Some fuckin' reflection from Mulan shit, y'know?

Maybe it's just that I want to see Her as a musical, maybe that's my problem... I mean, now I'm thinking about it, and I'm right. I want that so fucking bad. Like, just imagine that for me, will you? I keep specifically imagining a scene of Jeri and Jerry berating 'her' for being too masculine as a song— I'm sorry, I'm being such a dork.

If Jon Matteson did a stream where he read trans richie headcannons and fics, I would fucking cry, especially if Her was included, since I'm very proud of it thus far.

I need like... a 5+1 fic of Richie coming out to people, I'd love that.

I forgot any other thing I wanted to say, just give me a second.

Oh, okay, here we go. I like to think that Richie is a cosplayer (my sister disagrees with me, so I know that some people don't agree) but I like to think that him cosplaying masc characters is one of the things that helped him realise his identity. This has nothing to do with the fact that after I started cosplaying TSS I got more masc and embraced that side of me, I don't know what you're talking about.

I wonder what Jon Matteson (and Will Branner, and everyone else) thinks about Childhood Friend Michie, not even them together romantically. Bc like, I fully understand not understanding that ship; I don't fully understand it myself, despite literally shipping it. But them as childhood friends? It almost makes too much sense, whether or not Max knows Richie is trans. Either way, you can make it make sense in some regard. I particularly like how @24-guy handled it in their trans richie story, but I won't spoil that for you (that's also their user name on ao3)

I think that's all I got for now, maybe I'll make a part two when I'm on a proper dose of adderall that actually does anything for me.

[komohine]

What do you think of James being trans? (Obviously a headcanon haha) I might just be projecting I'm definitely projecting, but I think it makes sense.

I hc him has having an inferiority complex when he was younger, which is something me and a lot of fellow transmascs can relate to! The feel of having to aggressively outdo your AMAB peers because you're constantly being fed the idea they're somehow inherently better.

I also think it would be very silly if he hated Keith as a kid for this reason, reasoning he's a "real boy", only to learn Keith is trans too. T4T jaith or smthn idk lol

Also James is gender.

(also I really adore your art! Thank you for taking the time to read my silly headcanon)

I think hell yea 🫡 Even though it’s not my personal headcanon (in my personal headcanon their cis and transness is ambiguous). Withij my headcanons, both canon compliant and college au, there is never really a situation that arises where the distinction of their cis/transness becomes necessary or significant so i really just never mention it and leave it up to the interpretation of the reader

Its probably bcs my prior fandom space has traumatized me so if im gonna be honest i dont really think about characters genders beyond what they express themselves as 😭 you are boy? Ok! Sorry transfetishization haunts me hetalia and genshin were horrific spaces to be in… i have nightmares about people making one character from an mlm ship trans just for “realistic mpreg”. Oh my god mpreg keith is genuinely so disturbing i get distraught when i think about it. Also this may just be a precaution because of the voltron fandom? Because I came into this fandom like a month ago with the prior knowledge that this place is a literal minefield of fetishizers and weird people. Like do you get it… if i, for example, mention explicitly that my keith is trans theres gonna be people fetishizing that. If i mention he’s cis there’s gonna be people fetishizing that. So my defence is to just not mention it! Schrodinger’s gender!! 30 year old women stop writing crazy p0rn of highschoolers challenge.

Its the same with freaky headcanons like i will occasionally try to think of some for writing and metaphor purposes but i will get flashbacks to when a 13 year old asked me “whos the top and whos the bottom” about my ocs on discord and then my train of thought just stops there. Its like a kill switch. “Freaky jaith? Uhh well-” “whos the top and whos the bottom” “ok nvm 😇” like i personally love artsy and tastefully done innuendo art pieces but i do not trust the fandom to have a great enough level of critical thinking to see past the freaky to see the angsty metaphors i pack my art with.

But i think T4T jaith is fire james can now have internalized homophobia AND internalized misogyny or something!! Yay!! Adding more shit onto his need for perfection and to be a “real man” or something whereas keith dont gaf! And keith can teach james to not gaf!!! Yay!!!

[0w0tsuki]

(Screenshot.The post this is from is three posts below if people need it for reference)

It's always pathetic to me whenever chuds on here try to frame their purity cult No Kink at Pride bullshit as "just thinking it's a little weird UwU"

Like oh you just have a personal squick? That's all it is? Oh I'm sorry! I thought people were drumming up weekly harassment campaigns, sending death threats/suicide bait, and socially murdering trans women over this! I'll be sure to leave you be yourself where you're not making your personal disgust other people's problems!

Get real.

Nobody cares about your personal squick. Nobody's saying "You HAVE to like incest, rape, and ageplay and masturbate to all three at once or else you're a transmisogynist!1!" people are asking to not turn your disgust into violence.

Like guess what? I Do Not Like Incest. Because of how society views any relationship between those perceived as a man and women through oppositional sexism, most of the time when people see a man and a woman together out in public they often come to the conclusion that the only reason they have for doing so is because they are in a romantic relationship. This resulted in me and my sibling often getting mistaken for a couple anytime we went anywhere together before we both came out. One time an old man at a flea market tried to sell us BDSM handcuffs and continued to do so even AFTER we told him we were siblings.

Do I plaster "PRO-INCEST DNI" over my blog? Do I personally go out and harass anyone who posts incest? Do I go into anons to "warn" people of other bloggers being into incest. Do I go about mass reporting people who post about incest? Do I write/spread call-out posts for people who post incest?

FUCK NO

Hell I'll go one step further. I HATE sissy kink. I have personally talked about it in my blog about how I have been personally traumatized by it, how it set back my transition by years, and how I believe it ultimately does more harm than good to trasfem eggs. I have talked about how sissy communities prey on transfem eggs and purposely set up in spaces where transgirls who are discovering themselves the same time they are experiencing puberty and are having a harm time separating their trans awakening from their sexual one frequent and tell them that their trans existence is a sexual one that they should be ashamed and humiliated by. 80% of my notifications on my alternate kink account are cis men with sissy kinks ignoring my DNI. I've called it transmisogyny kink. I reject the notion that cis men with sissy kinks are TMA and there are trans women who I've unfollowed/blocked over this and I know there are trans women who have me blocked about my stance on this.

STILL. I keep all my hostility to myself. I will rant on my own blog about it. If a post trying to lump me in with cissies gets under my ass I will throw it underwater to rant about and keep it to a screenshot with their name cropped outreblog on another rant so it doesn't gain too much traction and leads to any harassment. The MOST confrontational I'll get is going into posts dedicated to discourse about it and arguing with people specifically signing up to argue about it.

You can be anti-something without being an Anti about it. It's called not liking a thing. It's called being a hater. I fucking wish y'all just "thought it was a little weird"

[ciphersbabygirl]

TW: suicidal thoughts (not actions) described, breakdown described, self-harm impulses (not actions, fortunately) described, death threats mentioned. for trans-intersex people: TW for transphobia.

for (cis)intersex people who's not accepting trans-intersex people: TW for intersexism in this case.

please feel free to ignore or not even read this ask for any reason, especially if it makes you uncomfortable! i'm sorry if i will cause you any negative emotions.

hi. i just wanted to say thank you, a cis-intersex person, for understanding. and for letting me speak in safe space.

i want to point that, despite feeling really strong dysphoria, sometimes unbearable, i still am trying to get rid of calling myself trans-intersex. yes, maybe it's for the better, maybe it's internal trainsphobia.

i think after hearing "trans-intersex people i hope car will hit you <3" (or something similar, don't remember the exact quote) i really wanted to kms. not joking. i was hating myself so much, and this guilt is sometimes unbearable.

when i see "you will never be intersex" i really start to feel extreme dysphoria quickly. i can't describe it without triggering myself too much, but i really am remembering that i was born wrong, and i will never be able to be myself ever. like ever. and what's the point of being in wrong body, with wrong secondary sex traits, with wrong genitals?

i can't stealth, i can't pass, i can't have a place anywhere. i just hate myself for being myself.

i use androgyne most of the times, and joke about my sex identity or sex variation. but inside, it just reminds me that i am not cis-intersex. and never will be.

i hate myself after hearing that i fetishist. i don't think i would be more "hot" or "attractive" if i would be cis-intersex. i will just be calm and happy. i would just be myself.

i don't know. i'm not trying to be in intersex community, because it will harm me and (cis)intersex people, both. i don't plan to call myself intersex openly or being activist (except for just activism as an lgbti+ person, of course). i don't plan to describe my (trans)variation, like i am (cis)intersex person with this variation. i just... want to be myself?

...

sorry for the long post. i hope it's okay. if you will publish it, i would be grateful... you can't even imagine how much. but it's up to you, of course.

Oh, oh my friend, I'm so, so, so sorry

Listen to me, listen

You are intersex, if not to them, if not to yourself, then to me. You are as intersex as I am. I accept you, I accept you as a person, I accept you as an intersex individual, I accept you as you. There will never be anything wrong with you.

You are a precious life, you are a beautiful being, and if you ever need to talk to someone, by all means, you can dm me and I will always do my best to respond

I know the guilt, I know the pain, I know. I'm so sorry. Those people are cruel and wicked and just genuinely evil, I could never imagine hating someone the way they do. Fuck them, you are always always always welcome with me and other supportive intersex folk. You are not alone. You have allies.

Even if some people don't see you as you are, you are intersex to me. As a fellow intersex person, I see no difference besides our variations.

Fucking bless you. I love you /p

[hkblack]

Hi! I hope you are doing well! I decided to spend my evening like Crowley, asking an important question from fellow GO writers! What's your current favourite story you yourself have written? Tell me why you like it!

Not gonna lie, I saw this and went "MIRJAM WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME ASKS!? you can just dm me on discord you fool" but then I saw what the ask was and got all excited. Thanks darling, this is delightful.

Right now my fave fic from my catalogue is:

Ever-Fixed E, 19,552

Aziraphale Fell had a plan. Go to school, get his degree, and start his life with his beloved at his side as man and wife. Until one day Crowley disappears. Decades later he meets a man, and finds the love of his life again. Anthony J. Crowley, suave, cool, masculine, in control, unflappable, has spent decades building himself up. He refuses to let his confident facade disappear for Aziraphale, who once almost tumbled down the stairs to certain death because his nose was stuck in a book. It’s just sex, and they’ve been dating for months, this time around. There’s no need to get his knickers in a knot. But the past isn’t easy to let go of, even if you’re both avoiding it. A story about love, intimacy, and finding each other again. (Alternatively: Tender smut, but then I wrote love story flashbacks, and now it's just emotional and there's plot in my pornography)

So why?

First, context: this was written for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023 for Andromeda4004. We went back and forth and I almost went "no wait no, I'm not trans I can't write a transman Crowley. oh no. I'm not good enough to pull this off" and then I got bit by a bunny and couldn't not write it.

It's my favorite, and I think it's going to be my favorite for a while because it's the best writing I think I've done to date. It's incredibly emotional and tender. And sitting with this Crowley has been good for me as a person. He's got a few more stories about him he's trying to pull out of me, so actually if you've already read this fic, go click the link and subscribe to the series I dumped it into in case I cave and do write some of the slice of life shit he's calling for. But... in making sure I wrote something that was respectful and joyful for the people who can immediately see themselves in Crowley (as a transman), I not only did a lot of research, and listening, and fretting at my amazing sensitivity reader because oh god writing with no pronouns at all is SO HARD (yeah, YEAH, go reread those flashback scenes folks.), but I also did a lot of soul searching.

Am I trans? No. Nonbinary? Don't think so. Cis? Eh. Probably?

This is something I sort of felt before writing this fic but now, hanging out with this version of this character and trying to do right by him, I'm a bit more comfortable in my Gender Fuckery (or lack thereof depending on the day). And I think that personally I keep rereading this fic not only because this Crowley is seriously not done living in my head shouting ideas at me, but because it's got the soft tender romance that I absolutely live for, and a Crowley who knows who he is, and is comfortable with himself, and is excited for you to get there too. And I appreciate him for holding my hand and letting me tell his story. Also fucking Aziraphale in this fic is a PUMPKIN. ABSOLUTE PUMPKIN. We don't get to live inside his head as much as we do with Crowley, but let me tell you. He's ultimate supportive partner. He is rub your feet unasked for after a long day cause it brings him joy. He knows your favorite color down to the exact shade. He is bought you VIP tickets to your favorite band he doesn't really like, but he likes how you sing their songs in the shower. PUMPKIN.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Im mostly going to drop this because not all ridiculous arguments are worth engaging with. But hey. One more ridiculous argument for the road.

"It's like if someone wanted to come up with a white equivalent of transmisogynoir."

Ok, but "white woman" in a white dominant society (ie most of the people in power are white, there's a cultural history of presenting non-white people as less competent, safe, worthy of protection etc) literally means "a woman who is in the most privileged/societally default position possible in regards to race"

"Trans masc" does not mean "trans person who meets society's expectation of a normal, default trans person" or "trans person who is the most privileged sort of trans person."

Because, sure, cis men are privileged relative to cis women. (Which doesn't mean cis men have no issues special to men. Obviously they do. Men have shorter lives than women ffs. And men with other things going on -- men of color, disabled men, poor men, men with ADHD specifically, etc -- have stuff going on with that that are not automatically the same as or strictly less bad than stuff going on with women in the same situation.) But. Being trans...can't be separated from gender. A trans masc is generally speaking someone who used to move through the world as a woman, and for some trans mascs (like you know, me) still does.

And it's fucking wild to be told "oh, the second you decided your gender wasn't strictly uncomplicatedly just a woman, you became just as privileged as a cis man." That's got nothing to do with reality.

And I mean, I think there's room for nuance there. I think there's room for going huh, maybe I was resistant to some self image stuff that people who uncomplicatedly identify as a woman get. That's pretty cool! But it's not going to affect like my income. Or whether I got my ass squeezed by a stranger walking home from work that one time. Or whether I got sexually assaulted by my first boyfriend. Or whether I had extra medical needs in my late 20's due to a series of abnormal Pap smears. Or whether an ability to get pregnant has very much affected my relationship to sex. Etc etc.

And again, yeah, in some ways it would make more sense to call both things transmisogyny! But I don't think the people who hate the term transmisandry would actually be any happier about that.

As far as I can tell, what they actually want is a nice clean model of reality where they can always tell which group has more privilege than which other group. (So that they can always "elevate the more marginalized voices" and I guess just not ever listen to the people they've pre-decided are more privileged?) Which is...not a good understanding of privilege. And is really bad for people's ability to admit they have more to learn.

As a side note, if you were going to do some sort of riff on misogynoir, it would make more sense to go with black men than white women. But there's a whole history there that I don't actually know enough about to start expounding on, you know? I just see pieces. Black men being seen as dangerous in a way that consistently puts them in danger, and which is very much tied up with the prison industrial complex, and how that in turn also hurts black women, who tend to be stuck with all the childcare and none of the financial support, and with providing all the emotional support for a partner or son or brother or father who's been deliberately isolated from his community. And white feminist circles in the 70's being sure that they didn't have to worry about black women because something about "matriarchy" and black women having a lot of relative power within black communities? I think in retrospect it was just blatant "ugh we don't want to have to care about you at all."

I wonder how many people throwing around misogynoir as a comparison even understand what it means or whether they think it means "black women have strictly worse issues than white women" like, the whole point is that if your misogyny model of the world is based exclusively on white women's data, you're going to be missing stuff.

The point is, listen to more people.

Don't ever assume you know what someone else's issues are. Don't ever assume you're done understanding how the world works.

Anyways, in Meyers-Briggs terms I'm a Perciever if you couldn't tell, and I realize settling into models of the world is important at some point to do things. "There is a strict hierarchy of privilege and marginalization, and it's this:" is the wrong model. "Different people have different issues, there are certain patterns of some people's issues getting ignored more than other issues, it's good to look around for ways to counter that and also if marginalized people work together we're more likely to get what we want" is a good model. I like grounding it in class, that thing that US Americans hate talking about but which explains so much, but I don't think people strictly have to do that especially when they're putting anti-capitalism in the center of the wheel in its place. And for me there also a very strong "people forcing other people to do things is bad, more freedom/autonomy is better" and I don't actually know how you can even come to the conclusion that trans people -- that self-identification -- is a real thing without that.

This privilege/marginalization stuff doesn't exist so people can get "most oppressed" prizes. It exists as a conceptual tool to help us get things we want in the real world. Doctors who use our pronouns, and who know how to recognize medical conditions showing up on dark skin and who don't reflexively dismiss women's health complaints or assume black people don't feel pain as badly. Anti-discrimination laws. Trans women who get arrested getting to be in women's prisons and not men's prisons. (I mean, better to not have prisons at all, but one step at a time.) Higher minimum wage or UBI or both. In the US, student loan forgiveness, free higher education going forwards, and universal health care. Neighborhoods where you don't have to drive to get to the nearest grocery store or hardware store. Disability payments where you can save money or get married without losing your only source of income. A world where non-standard pronouns are normalized and kids grow up knowing they don't have to stick with the gender their parents told them they were. A world where people can walk down the street with any gender presentation holding hands with anyone of any gender presentation and not be in danger. A world where black people and disabled people don't have to worry they'll be shot dead just for existing in public, a world where black people and disabled people can thrive and life full long lives surrounded by a community that values our lives. A world where trans people of any age can get appropriate health care without obnoxious, hostile laws interfering, a world where people who want kids can have them and those who don't have easy access to birth control and abortion.

It's not about being right on the internet. It's about a world that's good to live in. And our main enemies aren't people who are marginalized in slightly different ways or people whose understanding of which groups are most marginalized are slightly different. Our enemies are people who hate all trans people, who hate all queer people, who want white people to be in charge and people of color to be subordinated or possibly be somewhere else entirely or dead. That doesn't mean we can't have our disagreements, some intracommunity conflict is normal and healthy and frankly inevitable. But...we should be seeing it as conflict, as disagreement, between people who are basically on the same side, not do the things terfs do and go "oh, wow, these other women are the main problem, no we can't possibly ally against the enforcers of patriarchy, here's the real enemy."

[qqueenofhades]

Feel free not to answer this because I feel like it’s a really heavy and rather personal and emotional thing, but you’re also one of the people whose opinion I respect the most and who I think would be able to offer a lot of help with this, and I think it might help some other people too, if it’s not too pretentious to say that. It’s definitely too pretentious, isn’t it.

For context, I’m a cis female lesbian, which is… both a good thing and also the stem of these problems.

First of all, queer people travel in packs, we all know that. It’s amazing, and somehow, most of my friends and I found each other even before any of us came out. It’s the unconscious gaydar, I guess. And more recently, a lot of my friends are coming out as different flavors of trans and nb, and in some ways, it feels like I’m the ONLY person who feels completely comfortable with their birth gender.

God it sounds really bad when I put it that way, and I know it kinda is. I barely know how to describe it, but in some ways, it feels like I’m almost the odd one left out, when most of my friends have that bonding experience and this new struggle they have to deal with, and I’m not able to help them out and be there for them in a way that I was when it was just sexuality in question (and believe me, that took me forever to figure out, and I imagine it’s much the same for gender). And. I dunno. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m one of the ONLY cis people in my friend group, and I feel almost guilty for that? Online there’s all the stuff about “oh it’s the cis people” and like, that’s me, I’m one of the people in question, and how some people act, it’s almost as though I’m not queer enough or something, like being lesbian isn’t enough to actually make me queer and that I have to be some flavor of trans as well. And I know that’s horrible to think, it’s an awful mindset to have, but it’s kinda how I feel. And to clarify, this is absolutely not my friend’s faults, they’re not saying or doing anything at all to imply what I’ve just said, it’s entirely my own fault and that of the internet.

Anyway, I’ll just leave that there for you, because I don’t have a resolution for it, that’s the problem.

My second problem is kinda similar. My two best friends are both enby aroace. One of them is a sex-repulsed ace, and we share a lot of same fandoms and things that we enjoy. They’re a S&B fan, for one, and a while back I sent them WDMTTPL because I figured they’d like it because it’s fantastically written and I love it so much. This is nothing personal to do with you, I’d like to clarify that. Anyway, they got to the first E rated scene and quit and refused to read the rest of it. That’s totally okay, that’s fine, they have every right not to enjoy the same stuff as me. Another thing we both like is Phantom of the Opera, have you seen that? There are two songs, one in the original and one in the (admittedly a shitshow with a good soundtrack) sequel, that yeah, they’re kinda about sex, but they’re still very nice songs. My friend calls the one in the sequel (the song being Beneath a Moonless Sky) as ALW’s E-rated sex fantasy song. It’s… not terribly explicit, in my opinion, but like I said, of course we have different opinions, and that’s okay. But they hate the song so much and whenever it comes up on a playlist or something that we’re listening to together, they always go and skip it. With that musical as a whole, Love Never Dies, it’s a shitshow like I said and it has horrible writing and I really just ignore all of the plot in favor of enjoying some of the few good songs in it. And because of how much they hate that song, which I think has fantastic music regardless of content, I almost feel guilty for liking it and for being a sex-positive person myself. It’s not like my friend saying “I don’t like this and so no one should like this” but in some ways it feels almost like that’s what they’re saying. It’s absolutely not their fault, but it feels like the same thing again. I feel guilty for being straight and not “queer” enough, I feel guilty for being a person who enjoys sex versus an aroace friend who really doesn’t, and then I feel guilty for feeling guilty about things I shouldn’t feel bad about.

The third one isn’t really along the same vein as the first one, but I think it’s one that does put me in the wrong and that I’m very conflicted about.

One of my friends is very openly poly and was ranting to us the other day about some thinly veiled homophobic (and specifically polyphobic) comments one of her professors made, and how for an essay in that class she’s writing about how poly marriage should be allowed and was asking for our opinions and stuff. Personally, I think it’s absolutely okay, I wouldn’t even be opposed to a poly relationship myself. However, eventually they got on the topic of the poly relationship of the variety where one person is married to two different people without those other two people being married together, but consensual between all three. And… something rubs me the wrong way about that. Something feels very inherently unequal and unfair about someone in a relationship with two other people without those people being together, ESPECIALLY if we’re talking marriage. And then I proceed to feel horrible about that, because who am I to judge what kind of love is okay, what kind of poly marriage should be allowed and what shouldn’t? Isn’t that just as bad as, say, telling a bi person in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender that they’re actually just straight? I still don’t feel like being in two seperate relationships at once can be fair or healthy, even if it IS consensual, but I feel horrible for almost gatekeeping something like that, and for getting into a heated debate with the friend in question about it. She also had a boyfriend at the time, and according to her, she said he’d be perfectly okay if she was to have a relationship with a different person beside him at the same time. And then I felt horribly petty, because they broke up like a week after my friend said all of that to the rest of us and that breakup may or may not have been related.

Anyway I have no good way of wrapping this up, I feel like it’s just been one big rant, and I know it’s very very personal and heavy, but you really are someone whose opinion I respect and would really appreciate hearing. You don’t have to answer this ask, because I know it’s a lot, but either way, thank you so much for taking the time to read this anyway.

Welp. Okay. First off, I am very honored that you trust me to talk about this to you, respect my opinion, and are interested in hearing my thoughts. For context, I am also a cis lesbian, and I suspect that I am somewhat-to-significantly older than you (10-15 years). So this is coming from a queer person in their thirties (not in their teens or twenties) and while I have plenty to say here, I'll start with this:

Basically, this ask is an encapsulation of everything that rubs me the wrong way about the online youth culture that has grown up on social media and calls itself "queer" and "progressive" while also uh, not being those things at all and often just being American Protestant evangelical purity culture. I hasten to stress that this is not your fault in any way, and nothing about what you have said is going to make me point a finger and go BAD QUEER PERSON! Instead, I have a tremendous amount of sympathy for you and the guilt and stress that you're enduring and putting yourself through, when you really, really don't have to. I promise. Because if you just changed a few names and descriptions, you could be telling me how unhappy you feel in a religious fundamentalist cult! And that breaks my heart. Because:

You constantly feel guilty about whether you're "enough" for the overall authority/presumed "right way" to be a queer person, and constantly think that you have to do "more" to justify your inclusion;

You hang out with people and in shared social spaces that consciously or unconsciously reinforce the idea that you're "doing it wrong";

You worry constantly about whether being an ordinary human person with a sex drive makes you "unclean," "filthy," "evil," "lesser", etc etc;

You worry that you're in the wrong for expressing any opinion that might run against the prevailing wisdom, no matter what that opinion is or how you arrived at it;

You also worry that this is all "your fault" for not being good enough, and that if you continue to not be good enough, it will reflect on you as a personal sin and lead to your exclusion from the group, and that will be all your fault and nobody else's;

And on and on.

Anyway: as I said, this is flat-out conservative evangelical Protestantism with the names changed, and that's what makes me so averse to the so-called progressive purity/anti culture that has taken so much root in youth queer spaces. This isn't your fault or even that of your friends', it's just a result of what all of you have learned by osmosis and think is the only way to Be Acceptably Queer. And that is hogwash. It is total nonsense. It is absolutely not true. If you're hanging out in places or with people that are constantly feeding and reinforcing this message, whether implicitly or explicitly, then you DO need to find new places, healthier places, with maybe some older queer people who aren't as beholden to the niche culture of Performative Internet Wokeness as the younger terminally-online generation. Because it is a niche culture, it is very small, it is not at all representative of the lives and experiences of queer people all around the world, and you absolutely do not need to let it dictate your thoughts and behavior to the point of making you feel this way about yourself (or even at all). Because listen here:

I am holding your face in my hands, I am looking you in the eye, I am telling you from the bottom of my queer cis lesbian ace-spec old gay adult heart: I LOVE YOU, BABY GAY. YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. AND AIN'T NOBODY, NOBODY AT ALL, GOT THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU OTHERWISE OR MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR BEING BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Okay? Got it? I mean it. I am aggressively loving on you right now, in a healthy, boundaries-appropriate way, and telling you that IT IS OKAY. You are queer just the way you are. You're not a secret straight. You don't have to add an endless list of uber-specific micro-labels or nuances or explanations. You're you. You're queer. That's it, end of story, nobody can say otherwise. If people try to make you feel bad about it or shame you or imply that you're not enough, THAT IS THEIR FAULT and you can and should feel justified in calling them out on it. You don't need to torment yourself with guilt over having opinions, or liking sex, or ANY OF IT. Humans are humans! Humans (for the most part) like sex! Sex is a normal and natural and beautiful thing! Queer sex is beautiful! Het sex is beautiful! You can enjoy both or any or all of those things while also critiquing the sexified/commodified/heteronormative/repressive culture in which we exist! Our culture has been so messed up and fucked over (literally) when it comes to sex that once again, we've looped all the way back around to "I am a More Morally Pure Person if I Personally Reject Sex and This is a Totally Progressive Viewpoint" and like. As I said above, I am strongly ace-spec. I tend to enjoy reading about sex or having sexy headcanons more than I'm interested in actually pursuing it in the real world. But that doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, and I have zero objections to them doing what makes them happy.

So enjoy E-rated fic. Enjoy E-rated songs. Enjoy sex if you like sex, in fiction, real life, or wherever. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BABY, OKAY? If you know that some of your friends don't like what you like, you don't have to share those things with them or rely solely on their approval/validation (and as I said, if you're hanging out in places or with people that only make you feel bad about who you are and what you like, it's time to re-evaluate that time and how it's spent). Go out in your community, meet older queer people, volunteer in queer spaces, do whatever you would like to make you feel more connected to the real-life community with a broader variety of perspectives. But also, you don't have to do these things to be considered queer. You don't have to Earn Your Place Via Hard Work (oh hello again, Protestant Ethic!) You just have to be you. That is enough.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️