#both of them have chronic pain ok? ok

[colgeras]

zelda and link’s house has stores of various hyrulean herbs and plants scattered about. a bundle of dried swift violets hanging by a window, for brewing into teas on days where one of both of them don’t quite have the energy to do their daily errands. crates of endura shrooms and stamella shrooms for making into stir-fry, for days when just getting out of bed is proving difficult. hearty truffles for times when the wear of the last century becomes too much for tired bones to bear. zelda will find herself in the hateno general store picking out various ingredients, and the inn keeper who just so happens to be stocking up on milk will notice, and she will jot down tried and true recipes that will be sure to soothe link’s aching joints.

[orcelito]

Unfortunate for me it seems like I have another night in the straitjacket ahead of me (double arm hot pad event)

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

been thinking up a dumb cute lil bbrae college au where for whatever reason, they end up stuck doing volunteer work together watching/hanging out with some kids (melvin timmy and teether obv) and its like. "enemies" (but not really) to friends to lovers u know..... u know......?

[faerymercy]

ive had such an awful past couple of days... ;_;

first one of my cats (obi) got out and was lost for a couple days and he's indoor only. after a lot of searching (which caused an asthma attack and a lot physical pain) he did show up back on our porch, thankfully. we put his used litterbox and a jacket of mine on the front porch so i think that trick worked for helping him find his way home.

but now my other cat (yoda) is having diarrhea and scooting his butt everywhere and making a huge mess and obi puked once and im worried obi maybe caught something outside and brought it home and now they're both sick or something ;_; gonna take them to the vet if they dont get better in a couple days but that will be so expensive and im supposed to have my dental cleaning next week so money is gonna be so tight if we have to take them in... i guess i could reschedule the cleaning but they're usually booked out like 6 months and i really need it done :/

[boopboops22]

Late night moomin thoughts are on the brain (ramblings below cut)

Ok so I have this rather elaborate headcanon for Snufkin's childhood; Joxter peaced out early on but left the hat as a gift. Snufkin was raised as a Mymble until he was 5 and so fed up with the crowded house and being treated as a girl (trans ftm) he runs away to live on his own. During this time he picks out a name for himself and presents as a boy! Mymblemamma entirely forgets about his existence but Little My recognizes him when he comes back to Moominvalley.

I have so many thoughts about Moomin and Snufkin's relationship but in my hc they sort out their dumbass pining after a few years as they both mature. I also have been thinking about them as older adults, Snufkin agreeing to move into a house with Moomin (though he still travels and is frequently not home) and it's a huge thing that he feels comfortable enough in his love with Moomin to be tied down in such a way.

I enjoy the idea of Moomin always being shorter than Snufkin until he hits a growthspurt in his mid/late teens and all of a sudden is taller than Snufkin when he comes back in spring. Oh also Snufkin has chronic pain and uses a cane as he gets older because I said so !!!

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Thinking about disabled AK!Jason tonite with a disabled s/o

Let's be fr this man could/should be an ambulatory wheelchair user but he won't because he doesn't know that's a thing and wouldn't think he deserved it. If you're an ambulatory wheelchair user maybe one day you manage to lovingly bully him into just TRYING it and it is life changing

He uses his ambulatory energy to do Red Hood shit nbd

if he doesn't use a wheelchair he's got at least 2 braces--shoulder and knee

Baby has chronic pain, arthritis, chronic migraines from being beaten

Missing some teeth too

take this boy to your neuro or your ortho!!!! he is totally unaware he does not need to live like this. better living through chemistry

let's get him some therapy too

you WILL have to go to his drs appointments with him. mans WILL freak the fuck out for ANY medical procedure, has very serious medical abuse trauma. if he can see how your drs help you he is much more likely to go if he can see that you are benefiting from your providers and that they haven't harmed you

if you're scared of drs he will FULLY stand behind you. probably not that healthy tbh but he gets it

having a special Migraine Protocol for each of you (it's basically just a snack and a drink, blue light filter glasses, a sleep mask with headphones for that special Migraine Playlist)

make your own pain scales and talk through frequency of pain bc when you have constant or near constant pain it fucks up your ability to quantify it so making your own pain scale is helpful (he probably uses shakespeare plays or authors. like a 5 for jason is twilight, because you can see some problems but it's fun and fluffy but when you start looking closer OH NO SO MANY PROBLEMS)

pain meters on a wall near the kitchen so you can know what you're working with

CBD patches

the AK suit is basically a giant brace/mobility aid so you help him figure out how to adapt it for his red hood persona, how to make it lighter and allow for greater ROM

will remind you to do physical therapy

resistance bands ALL OVER THE HOUSE

learning bodywork techniques

AT LEAST once a week using a special oil or lotion to work into some of his bigger scars to make the tissue more mobile

giving him a back/neck/scalp/face massage

after a while obvi that's a lot of trust he's putting in you

NOT deep tissue. don't hurt him more. you can have effective therapeutic massage without hurting a person

trager work involves basically shaking a limb and letting the weight of the muscle do all the work but it feels weird the first time and he'd just start laughing at you

specially if you do his glutes

but it feels really nice so he stops laughing and it does help his lower body pain

putting magnesium lotion on each other's neck and shoulders

start to ask each other "are you angry or in pain?"

hand massages

teaching him to stop pushing through the pain

one of his knees is basically bone on bone so you always know when the weather is changing

if u both have bad knees u just don't even when the weather is changing. take some pain meds, use your topical pain reliever of choice, prop those joints up and snuggle in bed. watch a youtube series or he can read to you

heated blankets as heating pads supremacy

occasionally he'll be in pain and the kind of pain where you feel like you're going insane, so as a distraction he will go online and buy a bunch of weird pain-relieving gadgets and you'll spend a week trying them out

(sometimes his pain fog shopping spree is blind boxes, or nail polish, or statement shirts)

all of his siblings know to come to your place if they get beat tf up because your medicine cabinet is UNreal

you're about to give cass or steph a Controlled Substance Pain Reliever and you pause "this is technically drug dealing, isn't it? dOn'T teLL rEd hOOD" jason is literally patching them up right next to you

soft blankets

reminding each other it's ok to take it slow

he's constantly tearing into the other rogues for not having ADA accessible lairs (except Ivy who successfully argued that the plants make it ADA accessible which will do. FOR NOW.)

[gooperts-gunk]

ok now that stream over i will explain better when i say bbh's toxic love mindset explains all of his relationships, platonic, romantic, & familial

it's because HIS EMOTIONS ARE INTENSE!!! they are BIG and LOUD and he may express these emotions in unconventional ways (he is NOT human but that's the least of it) but he sure goes out of his way to make sure you notice (pranks), or his feelings are just natural (caring for and spoiling the egg babies). these emotions go unexplained, but they are there, and people misinterpret him so much because even if you DO ask, it's already established that he's a chronic liar and believing him could be a shot in the dark. but even LYING is one of these big emotions from the self-destructive side, the self-sacrificial side. "self-destructive" and "self-sacrificial" might look as to be opposites in the reason for why, but for q!bbh, they're both fueled by the same emotions. he's self-destructive because he's self-sacrificial, he's self-sacrificial because he's self-destructive, and it's because he cares too much. bigger than anyone has been able to understand.

you'd think an immortal would be numb to consequence at a certain point, but to q!bbh, consequence is EVERYTHING. he hasn't gotten over how quickly people and things can be lost, especially considering he's a reaper. so if q!bbh, as secretive as he is, can get all negative attention to him, not only does it help in lowering their expectations or view of him, but it also serves to make him a magnet for bad things. but if he's a magnet, he needs to care MORE because as he's said, disaster follows him wherever he goes, and being a magnet can hurt people. 'toxic love' is normal love to q!bbh, who taught himself to accept pain he feels, and not care to treat his wounds, for his hurt could be protecting someone else. it's 'not getting attached', it's 'when he does inevitably get attached he's overbearing', it's 'worrying about things that haven't happened', it's 'rewriting lies with more lies', and he's been doing this for so long that half of it he doesn't realize he's even doing it or that he could be 'too much'.

these big emotions, reactions, and actions, are natural. and to anyone else, he's just being dramatic and over the top. but in truth, that's just how big his feelings are. his love for his children is so large, he'd freeze hell over to get them back, but without an option to fight pre-purgatory, it originally manifested as him spiralling. his attachment to cucurucho is new since reviving, but since he was alone on & off for a while, he desperately clung onto any reinforcement he could get because even monsters want to be loved, to feel loved, and the chase made him reliant in a way that he refuses to let go of the constant he had during the quiet times, and if it makes him nuke spawn a couple times because he's desperate to be seen by who he's attached himself to, he'd do it, and im sure it wouldn't have been a first for him if we could put a magnifying glass to his past lives.

it's just natural, when the reason you get to be on earth in an eternal loop is because of rejection from what you still love despite your better judgement. because of your big emotions.

[transmutationisms]

I would love to hear more of your thoughts on House & its relation to the detective genre ! I think that house (completely accidentally and very badly) stumbles into a good critique of how doctors & medical structures view addicts & disabled people, with house being a horrible hegemonic mr malpractice to his patients frequently yet half is series is unironically just about all the injustice/mistreatment he faces because his doctor colleagues can’t see him as a person but only as a problem to be solved/rehabbed/therapized/institutionalized/treated like a child with stolen candy/treated like a criminal. and then it also randomly takes an incredibly pro MAID stance. which isn’t really part of this but I just remembered how batshit insane that show was. and then chase killed a dictator and I feel like the show was squarely on his side for that one. Anyway. Do you have thoughts? I really like house.

ok here's my house md take. like a lot of medical dramas, the show essentially relies for its dramatic appeal on the construal of patients as gross, weird, and stupid—rubes who are too uneducated and self-serving in their petty lies to solve their own bodies, and thus need the intervention of house to fix them. this is standard for the genre, although slightly meaner on house than on some other examples (cf. grey's or even the older and soapier generation of these shows). i don't even think house committing malpractice is all that new; it's relatively common as a plot point that positions the noble rule-breaking doctor as someone who 'does what needs to be done' and skirts the bureaucratic red tape to follow their own superior judgment. what makes house more interesting is that from the get-go, house himself is both a doctor and an unwilling patient. in itself this isn't a tension that's new to the medical soap (injuring a major character is pretty par for the course) but house's particular interactions with the ruling biomedical epistemology are, as you point out, characterised by hostility and resistance, and the show frequently either sides with house, or at least leaves it somewhat up to the viewer to decide whether house is right to resist the pathologisation that cuddy and wilson try to impose on him.

this is kind of a tricky line to walk for 7 seasons or however long the show is. my recollection is there are episodes, for example, where it's very clear that house's pain is physical, and the writers use this to morally justify his vicodin use. this is obviously not a full-throated defence of opioid users, but it is at least pointing to a position on chronic pain that allows for the possibility that for some people, long-term use of drugs with a high addiction potential and side effects is legitimately the best thing. but, this messaging is also undercut by the fact that it's primetime television, they need to make drama, and there are definitely also episodes where house is framed as potentially lying about his pain, or at least mistaking a somatic problem for a physical one, which the writers often (not always, but often) present as evidence that actually, house shouldn't be trusted to make his own decisions about drug use, and ideally should be 'de-toxed' and probably sent to cbt or whatever. of course all of these considerations are also contextualised by the fact that house is, again, not just a patient but a doctor: his right and ability to make these types of calls for himself is, it's suggested, a result of his having attained medical education and credentials. the patients who come to be treated by him are seldom, if ever, given this same level of consideration or presumed to have sufficient self-awareness to make their own medical decisions. this isn't to say they're portrayed entirely unsympathetically, but ultimately the narrative engine of the show relies on house being the smartest guy in the room (though ofc, sometimes tragically 'held back by his addiction').

so, although there are moments on the show that genuinely transgress some of the norms of the med-drama genre, i have never agreed with people who thought that the show as a whole was presenting any sustained critique of the medical system, the treatment of chronic pain/disability, or the power-imbalanced doctor-patient relationship. ultimately all authority on house md is supposed to emanate from the physician, or the physician's superiors (cuddy as a 'check' on house, though sometimes a failed one! again because of the need to generate drama for like 140 episodes), and at its most radical the show is really only capable of presenting house himself as an out-of-control aberration whose existence strains the existing system rather than being produced by it.

this is where i think the comparison to the cop show genre becomes more clarifying. house md never made a secret of being an interpolation of the detective genre, specifically sherlock holmes. however, i'm not sure i've ever really seen writing on the show that analyses what effect this actually has on house. like police, doctors are tasked with maintaining certain social norms; the dichotomy between policing and medicine isn't even a solid line, as criminality is frequently rhetorically construed as a pathology in itself and medical authorities can and do have recourse to carceral systems in order to discipline and confine recalcitrant patients, the 'criminally insane', addicts, and so forth. (policing has historically also been understood in a more expansive sense than how we use the word today; our understanding of the medical/public health system as separate from police authority is arguably more to do with university credentialling than the actual exercise of social and political power).

so, if we want to be serious about the portrayal of medicine in popular culture (i am always serious about this) then we're necessarily talking about broader systems of power, social control, and discipline, and doubly so on a show like house that is explicitly inspired by detective fiction. this is where house md is most ideologically objectionable to me: as with the trope of the cop who breaks all the rules, house is basically positioned in one of two ways throughout the show. either he's a lone genius who alone is willing to achieve noble ends (cure) through distasteful means (breaking into patients' homes, berating them, performing risky interventions on them, &c), or—and this is rarer on house but does happen—he's portrayed as genuinely crossing an ethical line, in which case he's a kind of monstrous aberration from the normal, ethical functioning of the medical system, often represented metonymously by the objections that cuddy, wilson, or house's underlings raise. in both of these cases, as with copaganda, the function is ultimately to reinforce the idea that doctors, though occasionally capable of human error, are prima facie wiser than their patients, looking out for their patients' best interests, and performing noble social roles as healers. house, ofc, is very rarely willing to admit that he has any underlying ethical motivations, though much of the show is driven by the flashes where he is revealed to 'secretly' care about another person (often wilson) and anyway, the construction of an ethical society in which all individual actors are motivated solely by selfish interests is a very established rhetorical move for those interested in defending liberal capitalist societies (cf. charles darwin, thomas malthus, adam smith, &c).

because of television's need to generate profit via audience engagement, house md always relied on a certain level of shock or at least provocation in order to sustain itself. so, there are certain aberrations from the more overtly doctor-valorising medical dramas, like the suggestion (sometimes tongue-in-cheek) that house was better at his job when he was mildly high on opioids. this was, for the reasons outlined above, never a serious entry into political critique, but it was at least refreshing in a certain way as a departure from, eg, the portrayal of addiction and drug use that we see on grey's, which is completely limited to the medicalised AA narrative of 'recovery' as a battle against the malevolent intervention of an external chemical agent. which is to say that although house md is ultimately reactionary in the way we should expect from an american tv show, it did at least dabble in a certain level of caustic iconoclasm that allowed limited departures from the genre conventions. even with what was ultimately a pretty solid vindication of the anti-opioid narrative, the show does stand out in my mind as one of the few very popular presentations of any kind of alternative stance on chronic drug use. that it's usually put in house's own mouth means it is occasionally legitimated by his epistemological authority as a physician, though ofc ultimately this authority is challenged not through a critique of the medical system, but by presenting house as individually and aberrantly licentious, undisciplined, and insane—and his chronic pain/disability are both a justification for this, and a shorthand for conveying it.

[olderthannetfic]

I really hate how easily it is to notice that, despite all the talks about tolerance and acceptance, the moment you start talking disability and the actual diversity of issues within, people get fucking uncomfortable

Especially abled-bodied, and/or neurotypical people who seem to have a might need to reframe disabilities. Not disabled, but DIFFERENTLY abled. Not disabled, but SPECIALLY abled. Or whatever, or reframing disabilities, especially chronic ones, as a superpower or some shit.

Even disabled people do that shit, it's still fucking annoying, but that's an issue between you and your life. Just don't try and push it as a "better term."

But what adds another layer is, that despite trying to pretend that people accept disabilities, they'll still become almost furious when something or a certain "life experience" is presented to be disabling. Not even "as a disability, period." but just disabling in your life.

It also almost always feels like disabilities are an afterthought in any discussions about society and issues faced. So many things don't get addressed or glossed over, UNLESS they also bother enough abled people. -Sever anxiety or other NDs that make it hard to talk to people? Nah, we won't give you the option for no-face-to-face ordering... oh the ablebodied people getting sick? Wait a minute, now it's much more accessible. : ) -Damn these stairs are hard to use because you use a wheelchair/bad legs/other shit? Ok, but can we wait until the people we actually care for need help? You can just crawl right? -You're a deaf/HOH person? And you wanna set up an appointment anywhere? Yeah... so... we only take calls. Yes we understand that we're a clinic specialising in HOH/Deafness, but you can't expect us to do HOH/Deafness-accessible appointment set-ups, like sms or email.

And then, when you dare talk about it. OTHER issues are more important. The WHATTABOUTISM in disabled issues is fucking staggering and painful. -Who cares that disabled people can't save money in fear of losing their life, what about POC people? What about queer people? -Who cares that disabled people are the first to be sacrificed when it comes down to it, covid anyone? Remember how disabled people were the first to be put on the "take them off the support" list? - Dating, relationships, marriage as a disabled person has red tape out the wazooo. But how dare you mention it, queer people also have problems.

It's not even like we get to say "Yeah both are important, let's work together." It's more like people are trying to push disabled issues out of the way, and occasionally add it on as an accessory in favor of the more "aesthetic" issues.

--

[artiststarme]

Let’s Get Medical!

Ok so I saw a few comments about Steve’s injuries on one of my last fics so let’s speculate! @goodolefashionedloverboi and @absurdityaddiction, thank you for your comments! They really got me thinking lol.

~*~*~*~

Steve had some pretty deep wounds to the left and right lumbar regions of the abdomen that were left untreated for at least several days. There are a lot of important organs in this vicinity including the large intestine, small intestine, liver, and stomach, as well as many blood vessels that supply blood to the rest of the body.

Steve should have cleaned the bites immediately to avoid infection or horrific scarring. Usually, wound care would be performed shortly after the injury in which sterilized water, hydrogen peroxide, and betadine would be used to prevent infection. Understandably, he had other things to worry about at the time such as getting out of the alternate dimension that was trying to kill him and his friends. All Steve did was have Nancy apply an improvised bandage from her shirt that was already soaked in lake water and tainted by the Upside Down toxins. It would’ve helped to slow the bleeding by applying necessary pressure but it wouldn’t have helped with infection or scarring. 

When he got back to the Rightside Up, he should’ve cleaned them with sterilized water, saline, or hydrogen peroxide but he didn’t. Instead, he went to sleep or something. We know because he was still wearing Nancy’s improvised cloth bandage the next day when they were making plans to go to the War Zone.

He might’ve been able to change his bandages and apply some remedial first aid after the War Zone once he changed his clothes but by then, the infection would’ve had time to set in. 

Bats are known to carry a multitude of harmful bacteria and dangerous viruses. Because demobats look so much nastier than the disease-infested cute bats in real life, I have to assume they would have some demented version of some virus (like Rabies) or bacteria (like leptospirosis). 

Steve would’ve started experiencing fever, chills, lethargy, and muscle aches within hours of the initial bites but he still went into the Upside Down to kill Vecna. All of the strenuous physical activity likely tore the wounds open over and over again which would cause horrible scarring as well as some chronic pain and inflammation in those areas.

When he got out of the Upside Down, he would’ve gone directly to the hospital for Max, Dustin, and Eddie (we don’t talk about other alternatives). After several days of untreated wounds, blood loss and infection, Steve would be having a truly horrible time. 

When his adrenaline crashed, he would’ve collapsed in the hospital with wounds the rest of the Party didn’t think were too serious. They wouldn’t know what to think when the doctors said he could die. 

The doctors would have to debride the wounds of dead skin since it wasn’t healing on its own. They would administer strong IV antibiotics and flush his system with saline to try and override the sepsis. Steve would most likely have to have several surgeries to harvest skin tissue from his back and thighs to try and replace the “pound of flesh” that the demobats tore off of him. 

He would be fine eventually but he would always have the extensive scarring, both mental and physical, to remember the Upside Down by. 

Luckily for him, Eddie definitely would think that the scars looked badass.

[raccoonsrummagerostrum]

Twisted Memories

Fem Yautja x Fem! Human! Ex-soldier! Reader

Word count: 928

Warnings: Brief mentions of: suicide, SA, harassment violence, and injury. Themes of PTSD. Nightmares. Hurt/Comfort

Summary: After living through hell, dropping out of service, failing to re-enter civilian life, and trenching across the galaxy, you finally get some peace of mind in your new life. 

A/N: This is probably the most specific fic I've written, and probably the most heavy, but I think it's really good!

You don't like talking about your service, you don't even like telling people that you served. Folks always tried to thank you, and tell you how brave you are. You hated it. There was nothing from your service that was worth being thanked over. You had been forced to kill and maim in the name of corporate interest. You had been harassed simply for the crime of having tits. And so many of your friends were dead, not because they were killed valiantly in the heat of battle, but because they too had been mistreated and abused by the government who they had sworn to protect.

Somehow things got even worse when you left service. The VA was absolutely now help, you had been left with chronic pain from all the shrapnel left in your body. Radio shows and news anchors kept reaching out to hear your story, only for you to tell it and be met with horrified looks and an empty promise that they would keep in touch. The worst part was having to live amongst civilians who had no idea what you went though and would likely vomit if you told them. In the end, getting off planet was the best decision you ever made.

The yautja were much more your style. Their entire civilization was focused on hunting. But not just random senseless killings like back on earth. These hunts had rules, they were fair, and it was for glory. You were treated so well by everyone too. Free, no hassle health care, mental health support, and best of all a loving wife to come home too. 

You loved telling her all about your hunts, but always refrained from telling her about your life before leaving earth. You didn’t want her to know about any of it, and for the most part she didn’t ask. But she did wonder. 

Despite how hard you tried to run from your past it always caught up to you, especially in your dreams. Vivid images of war would regularly flash across the back of your eyelids as your brain struggled to rest. What was worse is that these nightmares were always worse than your memories. They were twisted and warped by your subconscious until they became more horrific than reality could ever be. 

You once again flew out of your sleep, the tendrils of those nightmares slowly fading as your dark bedroom came into view. The soothing voice of your lover wafted into your ears as you slowly regained awareness of the world around you. Even sitting in bed she towered over you, and effortlessly pulled you into her lap and cradled you in her arms as though you were her pup. She loved you like you were her pup. Without even thinking you burrowed your face into her clavicle and sobbed.

“IT WAS SO SCARY!” You wailed. 

“I know love, It's ok, I'm here,” she soothed back. 

“I-I was jus- just tr-try-trying to pull hi-him to safety, and-and they j-just kept SHOOTING AT ME!” You completely lost control as you sobbed and cried into her. She began to rock you as she sang something that you had once heard her singing to a suckling. It was hard to tell in the dead of night how much time had passed but that didn’t matter as your sniffling slowed then stopped.  

“Please,” she spoke, honey and silk dripping from her voice “Tell me.” She didn’t even need to say what, you knew. 

You followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the table. She fixed you both a warm drink before joining you. Almost immediately you poured it all out. Everything you had seen in combat, everything that had been done to you by your superiors, everything. Eventually you had to stop. Your breath hitched, your eyes stung, your nose ran, and the sun was starting to come up. You hadn't even gotten to the subject of the nightmare. Your lover soothed you once again, treating you very much like a sad pup. 

She curled back into bed with you in her arms. Somewhere between the heat of her body, the soft plush of the bed, and the reassuring sounds of the early morning, you were able to fall back asleep, if only for a moment. 

Over the next few days you told your wife more. Telling her how and why you left service, your life after, the many many funerals you attended. Eventually you told her about how and why you left earth, and how everything has been better since then and how you don’t think you can ever go back. She gave you a sad smile.

“My life as well has been better since you have come into it, but I am so sorry that you had to walk though that to be here.” It was at last her turn to cry. Her heart ached for what you had lived though. In that moment the only thing she wanted to do was take that pain away, to take those memories, and to take the nightmares. You both held each other, and embraced for a long moment. Once the tears from both of you began to slow, you pulled away and looked at each other. Her hair painted her face and the tears caught the sunlight to look like jewels. Your rosy cheeks bloomed, and a smile was spread across your face. You echoed back your wife's earlier sentiment.

“I'm sorry I had to go though that too. But fuck do you make it all worth it.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

ok this is more WIBTA but it's beginning to creep into AITA territory so whatever. it's a very complex situation but i'll try to be brief and clear. me (19, they/them) and my roommate (19, she/her) are very close, she's my best friend. she has a driver's license while i do not, and i pay her gas money so she can drive me around when she's available. when not, i uber or find rides some other way. we're both disabled, she has epilepsy among other things while i have fibromyalgia and deal w intense chronic pain as a result. my roommate and her mom are very close, but have a weird and slightly toxic dynamic that's too hard to explain. my roommate primarily has seizures in her sleep, and the ones she does have while awake are not the stereotypical ones u see in media, and almost never result in loss of consciousness. this is not to undermine her struggles at all bc it's very very challenging. however, it's come up since her diagnosis that at some point her driver's license could be taken away. from what i can tell, this is not a near future possibility, because of the circumstances of her seizures. i do think it is still a possibility. because of this, roommate's mom has been very insistent that i get a driver's license. i do agree it would be easier but am genuinely terrified of learning, both because my physical health will complicate my ability, but more so because my mental health has made it dangerous for me. i've tried to explain this, but her mom has essentially told me to get over it because it's something i'll have to do anyway. although i do not blame my roommate for this, as she's largely been neutral for all this, i am getting frustrated with her mom, and have been getting into several disagreements with her. i told her it's unfair of her to expect me to just "get over" that and that my roommate could uber as needed like ive been doing. she believes im being selfish. as it stands right now, i do not want to learn to drive. if it came to the point my roommate couldn't, i might consider it, but would likely try to find other solutions. so, WIBTA for refusing to learn to drive?

What are these acronyms?

[lastwave]

aghj fuck everything ok. i say this as someone who enjoys analyzing jean! hes an interesting little guy. but so so many people refuuuuse to acknowledge just how much privilege jean has over harry as an ablebodied, never-addict, (comparatively) ableminded, and arguably straight dude.

SO LIKE. Harry's very chronically ill like. canonically. post polio syndrome, all the shit that comes with hep c (joint pain, organ damage, etc etc), and his use of speed implies chronic fatigue. AND when jean gets to him after the tribunal he has at LEAST one gunshot wound (in some playthroughs he gets shot twice), and we don't even know if Kim GOT the bullet(s) out. jean is ablebodied. he has facial scarring from when he had smallpox(?) but other than that he seems to have made a full recovery while harry never did- harry still has partial paralysis. and even IF jean was in some form chronically ill, still jean feels entitled to make some smarmy comment about disability pension even tho harry has more than earned that shit.

its very easy to see the subtext that jean thinks harry deserves this. he basically outright says it in the "you know what he told me?" line. he took that not as a sign that something was deeply fucking wrong and that harry needed help (which, btw, "i want to get worse" is almost always a cry for help and an indication that someone has completely given up), but jean took it as someone accepting whats coming to them and that harry needed to learn a lesson. which, depending on the playthrough, harry was a major ass, but during the midst of a mental breakdown is NOT the time to address that. and that isn't teaching a lesson.

its exacting revenge jean felt entitled to for "putting up" with him. he thinks hes some martyr- and not even for harry's assholery. to be clear. in the fascist and some moralist playthroughs jean expresses frustration at having to go to sensitivity training. not what harry actually said. which, while speaking volumes abt harry's character, also says a fuck ton about jean's. ALSO, there are several instances where he complains about conservative talking points- "falling marriage rates", "the liberals" (in context of the f slur, not economic liberalism). which leaves one thing for jean to be upset over- harry's addiction, mental illness and disability.

its very very simple! jean thinks that harry deserves bad things because he's an addict, and thinks that harry's a burden because he's both mentally and physically disabled. and its not frustration that comes from a place of love, because otherwise he would have fucking been there. he would have reintroduced himself when he realized harry did for real have total retrograde amnesia. the fact anyone even let harry continue the investigation after finding out abt that is pretty damn heinous.

he doesn't HAVE sympathy for harry and he doesn't care about his well being- jean cares about what harry's presence in his life makes him feel like. Jean likes to pity himself and Harry's existence lets him position himself as some long suffering angel that "so graciously keeps giving harry chances". this is especially apparent in the "sorry i didn't feel like buttering you up, i have clinical depression" line. (sorry WHAT about a man that tries to drown himself in his car by driving it over a roof implies not depressed?).

like. even ignoring all of harry's other shit he had before the bender, retrograde amnesia and functional clinical depression are not comparable. that AND harry probably has a dissociative disorder AND some form of mania its just ??????

jeans very very privileged over harry and exerts it often. hes an asshole. a very interesting asshole! but an asshole nonetheless

[bittersweetcanary]

Summoner who experiences Chronic Fatigue & Chronic Pain 

How the Artw cast reacts to a Summoner with Chronic Fatigue & Chronic Pain. The gender of the Summoner is not mentioned, this can be read as enby, man, woman, trans, etc. :D

Special thanks to Cora ( @adcmans ) for helping me come up with ideas!!

BTW IF you want to add anything please do in the comments, I'd love to hear your ideas!! Or reblog!! :D

[Disability Rep | Pronouns of Summoner not mentioned | Gender of Summoner not mentioned | Some Suggestive Text | Tooth Rotting Sweet at times ]

Spica

Spica’s part has some stuff about the MC/Summoner to explain the context a bit.

You explained your condition to him first, less due to trust and more due to wanting to get accommodated for your disability ASAP, and not being totally sure how to go about that. He seems the most reasonable and accountable of the bunch.

At first, he didn’t quite understand but it certainly didn’t take long with your explanation of your condition. Spica helped you through the process of getting medication through the school due to your… Finances being… Low… (*cough* broke, poor, you have nothing now that you fell through a damn rift- *cough*) Luckily the school easily covered it, taking some of the weight of your anxiety off your shoulders. Wow, their Medicare system is nice. Unlike some places.

Since, to your surprise, Spica checked in on you frequently when you dozed off during meetings or when your pace would slow, asking if you were tired if something hurt, or if you needed to rest.

Spica went with you to pick up some school supplies from one of the village shops, mostly just plenty of pencils with big pencil grips which made it easier to hold. The number of times you’ve lost a pencil simply because it rolled off your desk is… To put it simply, a lot. And a backpack to carry your school stuff in as just holding it wouldn’t quite work for you.

You were quite anxious to start using a mobility aid because then you’d have to explain to everyone why… But Spica made sure to explain to the rest of the Guide Committee just why you were using forearm crutches so they wouldn’t bombard you with questions, after asking if that’d be alright of course.

Upon occasion when you were being stubborn, wanting to keep up with the others, Spica would pull you to the side (-if he had to he would grab your arm just above your elbow and sit you down on the nearest couch beside himself-) and would begin to lecture you- reminding you that it is ok to take breaks & rest. Followed by your comment about his sleep schedule had him stuttering for a moment before coming up with a “good reason” as to why that was totally reasonable. Your expression showed your opinion on that.

It’s safe to say you MADE Spica sleep more hours at night when you could, sometimes he’d be too stubborn. One time he was snappy about it, telling you off harshly though he did apologize later it still stung.

Spica immediately offered to help you ready yourself for the day if you ever felt too tired to do so alone, and you took him up on that offer sometimes, if he could spare some time away from his paperwork.

Spica was the first to offer to take you out for breakfast whenever he could, Arcturus sometimes joined the two of you if they happened to both be free though Spica preferred it to just be the two of you.

Pollux

Before finding out

In class when the Summoner would doze off he’d huff, and puff, but never wake them. Once they woke (or he woke them up after class) he’d chew them out over sleeping through class. Sometimes classes. Threatening to leave them asleep in the classroom next time. (which he never does, it doesn’t take you long to catch on)

You have caught him staring more than once, though you play it off as if you totally didn’t notice him with his head down beside you blatantly gazing at you with big stary eyes.

Sometimes when you’d be writing down your notes your hand would twitch and you’d drop your pencil, having pushed yourself too far. Pollux didn’t notice at first but when you’d take breaks from writing he’d ask why and you’d shrug off his question, picking up the pencil and beginning to work again.

And lunch… Pollux couldn’t quite understand why you’d sleep through lunch of all things, the food was always great. Especially the chocolates he usually kept to himself, that he’d brought as his dessert, he’d sometimes share with you and Arcturus.

Pollux never quite got how you couldn’t keep up with him when he’d run ahead, often telling you to exercise more. It felt insensitive, causing you to show him a bit of a cold shoulder afterward though you knew he just didn’t know about your disability.

Sometimes when you were quite tired and just so happened to be sitting beside Pollux you’d unconsciously doze off while leaning against his shoulder. Pollux would stare at you for a few moments after you leaned against him, then look away and cover his face with his hand, but remain still and quiet so as to not wake you. He would stay there till you woke.

Polly would make rude comments about your disgruntled unkept appearance on bad days, pushing stray hairs into place. Huffed and puffed when he tried fixing up your hair, he got better at that over time. It’s become a sort of daily routine for him to play with your hair during class, sometimes you’d play with his too, he loved it when you did and you could tell by how he squeezed his eyes shut and blushed.

After Spica’s explanation at the meeting

Pollux, much like the others, wondered why you weren’t there till Spica began the Guide Committee meeting. It’s safe to say a lot he was confused about was answered by Spica’s explanation. Why you doze off so much, and why your pencils all have those large grips… And the times you’d just dropped something… He brought up as much during the meeting as he found it concerning that you hadn’t told him, him!.. First... Spica was the most reasonable, he supposed, but you two were close!... Right? He’d work with you on assignments all the time! And share notes… And hangout! (totally didn’t say he wasn’t looking to make friends on day 1)

Pollux is a lil jelly that you didn’t tell him first- he pouts about it.

He was a little pouty around you after that but stopped trying to push you to keep up, or chewing you out over dozing off… Pollux slowed down to your pace whenever he realized he’d been walking at too quick a pace for you. He would constantly glance over his shoulder to make sure you were still there.

He MiGhT try to loop his arm around yours, or just blush a little thinking about it. Maybe if you offered up the idea first he’d go for it.

Alpheratz & Sirius missed the meeting… But Vega didn’t?! Maybe it’s that pathfinding magic, maybe it brought him there? Pollux eyed him up and down, sus. 

Will chew anyone out if they harass or bother you at any point about your disability, yap yap BITE!!

The whole hair play routine you two had started kept up, though he’d offer to help you in the morning if that’s okay, totally understandable if you didn’t want someone in your dorm, but it's him so… It’d be ok, right? Just don’t let anyone else in, they might be bad people.

When he and Arcturus showed up at your dorm, they’d be surprised but they are both besties so they help you out together and sometimes you all go out to breakfast at a cafe as a group <3 Sometimes Vega, Alpheratz, Spica, or Sirius might join if they happen to stop by around the same time, or one of them may try to drag you off for themself…

Alpheratz

Before finding out

Alpheratz thought it was a bit weird that you napped nearly as much as him… More than himself sometimes but never questioned it. It was nice having a nap buddy, someone who didn’t nag him for sleeping so often.

After a while he began to expect you to show up at specific nap locations, he’d bring a spare neck pillow just in case you needed one. And a spare blanket.

Sometimes he’d catch you rubbing at your knees or ankles as if they hurt but when he’d as if something happened you’d say you were just a little tired.

When you would yawn constantly throughout the day despite having napped alongside him he suspected something may be wrong, occasionally checking your health with his magic but not totally understanding what he saw. Alpheratz began to look into possibilities while you napped in the library with him.

He never really kept his appearance up so when you looked messy it didn’t really phase him, though he’d ask teasingly if your messy hair was some sort of new trend.

Finding out

Slept through the meeting assuming it’d be something unimportant- immediately regretted it after Pollux filled him in after he asked you about your mobility aid while the three of you were out at a sweets shop. Alpheratz had been downright staring at your forearm crutches the entire way there, with a very concerned expression.

Pollux scolds Alpheratz- they bicker a little. It’s cute. Then Alpheratz shoves some gummy worms into Pollux’s mouth to shut him up. Pollux stares Alpheratz down, crossing his arms, frowning, and furrowing his brow as he slowly chews the gummy worms.

After finding out

Now he knows what’s wrong and has a better grasp of just what his magic was showing him when he checked up on you.

From then on when you’d nap together Alpheratz made it a habit to check your physical health status using his magic, just to make sure you were ok. Sometimes he would check in to make sure you took your medication, knowing how forgetful you can be.

When he could, Alpheratz would join you, Arcturus, and Pollux for lunch, to spend time with you and make sure you took your meds.

Sometimes, if you seemed more tired than usual or if he saw you over-exerting yourself he’d just pick you up and take you to a comfy spot to nap. After the first few times, you weren’t so surprised. But the first time… You nearly kicked him between the legs and punched his face- in your defense, you didn’t know it was him, AND like wtf- you both laughed it off.

Both of you worked together to make a little “club room” in the back of the library, you both deemed it the Nap Club Tent. It was a sizeable tent- (you guess the only reason the school allowed you to get away with this was because Alpheratz’s grandfather wanted Alpheratz to warm up to him) inside the tent were plenty of blankets, pillows, and a well-padded floor. Some plushies too, those were purely your touch at first, then Alpheratz added some that he thought you’d like.

Sometimes Alpheratz would offer to help you get ready for the day, a slight blush on his cheeks, then he would quickly offer to hire someone else to help care for you if you wanted. 

When you’d go out as a group with Arcturus and Pollux for breakfast he would sometimes join, offering to pay for you and the others though sometimes he’d get up extra early just to take you out by himself.

Arcturus

Before finding out

Arcky found it odd that you would yawn so often, and how you seemed to occasionally limp, but if he pointed it out you’d brush it off and adjust your posture and how you walked. He’d frown, he wasn't sure what was going on but how you acted gave him a bad feeling.

Sometimes when you looked incredibly drowsy while standing he would ask if you needed to sit down with furrowed brows, just what weren’t you telling him? 

When he would ask if something was wrong you’d change the topic with ease, Arcturus couldn’t remember what he’d asked after talking about some other random thing.

He had asked Spica if he noticed it as well… Which led Spica to ask you which kicked off the conversation.

Began occasionally stopping by your dorm in the mornings if he was free after seeing how messy and tired you looked most days, offering to help you prepare for the day. He helped when he could though he would often ask you why you looked so tired.

Finding out

Spica explains the situation to him first, being the only other Fili Pferer & Spica’s most trusted confidant. Arcturus was a little worried and sad that you hadn’t told him personally but understood it was probably difficult to talk about. Still pouted a little. But only a little!

After finding out

He helped to explain your disability to Vega and Pollux with Spica.

Later he ran into Sirius… After being chased by that big black dog!! Scary!! He updated Sirius on the recent meeting, assuming he’d just been too busy with missions to show up! Why else would his friend miss the meeting, he must’ve had a good reason! Though Arcky didn’t push Sirius to tell him why he’d missed the meeting.

Arcturus would constantly check up on you whenever he could. (when random Fili Pfere sorcerers weren’t dragging him around) Sometimes he’d go overboard and continue to ask you what he could do to help till you told him you were alright, only then would he stop and sigh in relief. 

He likes to offer to make food for you, get you a drink, or sometimes he will just leave a snack with a cute little note wishing you well if he finds you napping. (with a little smiley face)

Will also cover you with a blanket and place a pillow beneath your head VERY CAREFULLY if you don’t already have a blanket and/or pillow.

Might gaze at you for a while if you doze off while hanging out with him before sputtering if you ask him why he was staring.

Began to make it a point to stop by your dorm in the morning to help you prepare for the day whenever he was free, knowing that sometimes just keeping up with your hair and skin care was difficult. Then he would walk with you to the cafeteria for breakfast.

Loves having breakfast with you and Pollux, he wishes the others would join you all more often!! Super excited and happy when everyone or almost everyone shows up!!

Vega

Before finding out

Vega arrived at the meeting right on time to Spica, Pollux, and Arcturus’s surprise. He felt that he should be there, for this particular meeting.

It was plain to see that you weren’t getting enough sleep, the bags under your eyes were telling and the yawning at 9 a.m.! Your symptoms stressed Vega out quite a bit to the point he would constantly be on you about getting plenty of sleep. 

Might force you to go back to bed if you doze off during breakfast.

After Spica’s explanation at the meeting

Vega is incredibly worried about you. However, the way he shows this feels more like a nagging older sibling. Sometimes he would give you harsh lectures when you push yourself a little too far.

One time he offered to carry you when you felt too tired to walk, your knees hurting, but when he tried- he apologized so many times after you both fell. His cheeks were utterly red when he looked up at you, atop him, before you got up. From then on, when he was with you he made sure no one blocked your path. 

“ MAKE WAY SUMMONER IS TIRED “

If you ever decided to bring up that one time he tried to carry you he’d just DIE.

Constantly offers to carry anything he can for you just to take some of the weight off your shoulders. He will do whatever he can to help.

Grumpy if he can’t have breakfast with you by himself. Might try to drag you away, if only he could. Will not respond to anyone unless the topic is you. Or if he is talking to you.

Sirius

Before finding out

Sirius didn’t say much, other than teasing you over just what could be keeping you up to make you that tired. “Were you thinking of me last night Summoner~? I’m so flattered~”

Sometimes he would drag you about with him on a random mission or just more fun which hurt your joints a LOT, when you would tell him you needed to slow down and rest he would tell you to keep pushing forward if you ever want to build your endurance. Not giving what you said or your actions a second thought as he brushed you off.

It certainly stung each time he’d brush you off so you began to give him the cold shoulder if he tried to drag you along one of his schemes.

After Arcturus’s explanation

Spica didn’t specify what the meeting was about beforehand so he just skipped it. Or maybe he would’ve anyway? He’s busy, but with what? O-o sus.

When Arcturus showed up, with the black dog playfully giving chase, he was told what the meeting was about. Though he brushed Arcturus off at first. But when Arcturus mentioned that it was about you, Sirius listened.

How’d he not notice sooner? When thinking back, it seemed quite obvious…

Your pained expression to the sheer amount of times you dozed off… You even told him you needed a break so many times and he just brushed you off… He swore at himself for not thinking more about your health. Adding to the list of things he loathes about himself.

After finding out

Sirius was noticeably more careful around you, not yanking you about or pushing you to keep up with him. Instead, he would pull you into little hidden nooks to hide or teleport away with you in his arms, to hide from the other Sorcerers when he blew something up again.

Slowly you warmed up to him after he began to actually listen to you, but you were always at least a little wary of his intent.

To make up for his carelessness he spoiled you as much as you would let him for a good month, he swore to get you anything if you’d forgive him but you just wanted him to understand and that he did. And still got you things he knew you liked.

If you felt too tired to apply makeup(if you wear that), nail polish, clean your face, and or fix your hair in the morning he’d be there to help, offering to do so when you looked worse for wear and insisting that you call him whenever if you need help getting ready for the day ahead at any time! He would be there, anything for his Summoner.

Sirius also just loved to get to do your hair and nails, and help you choose out a cute outfit for the day! Totally didn’t attempt to peek at you changing like a perv. Denies it after he was caught. Doesn’t try again, but teases you, asking if you’d give him a show.

Beats Alpheratz at getting up early just to take you out to breakfast first, will tease him about it if Alpheratz asks where you’ve been.

Sirius ends up taking you to breakfast quite often when he isn’t out on a mission, sitting beside you with his hand on yours.

[writing-rat]

Loneliness and Agony

Pairings: Tara Carpenter and Gale Weathers

Content: Paranoia, Chronic Pain, Tara needs a hug, Motherly Gale Weathers

Summary: Tara is home alone. Gale decides to check on her.

WC: 1383

It had been 2 years since Sam left and a year since her mother left for days at a time. She was currently in London as usual and Tara felt… lonely. Her friends helped her whenever she went to school but apart from that she had no interaction. Friends did offer to stay, especially Amber and Mindy but she never wanted to bother them so she never agreed. She was currently on her bed as she was watching random films as she was bored. She hated feeling like this. She missed her friends. After a while, she started to go to the kitchen and was quick to get some noodles. Her diet had changed drastically ever since she was left alone. It went from a healthier diet to just pasta (plain) and noodles. She was more tired nowadays but she didn’t care. She slept after doing homework anyway, not wanting to annoy her friends outside of school. Her mother did say she was after all… 

After the Ghostface attacks though it changed, she was never alone and always had someone around. Mindy and Chad were at their mother's house, Danny was on a business trip, Sidney was back with her family and she knew Gale visited now and then. Sam was away, however, and that was frightening Tara. The night that Tara left, Sam made sure she had food for sandwiches, salads and other meals. There was no pasta or noodles, Sam did not want Tara to have the same diet as before. They also had a takeout pizza so she would have some pizza slices for lunch if she ever craved it. That night Tara also was with Sam in bed, both sisters cuddling as Sam knew that her sister was nervous. She would be back in 5 days though. She just hoped Tara would be ok and had texted Gale to check on her once every few days.

The first day Tara was nervous. She had scoured the whole house, finding every gun that Sam owned and also getting all her potential weapons. There were hockey sticks and bats too. She had seen Sam hide a gun in her closet the same night she stayed there so she quickly got that one the instant that Sam left. She had nodded at the stack of weapons before she sat on the couch, looking at the door as she had also checked if it was locked and it had been. She was thankful for that. She admitted the guns that Sam owned, feeling more comfortable. She got herself some water as she kept staring at the door, her grip staying on the gun. She proceeded to put on a film as she was glancing at the door every so often. She felt paranoid about Ghostface coming back when she was vulnerable. She had arthritis on her bad leg, her back ached way too often and she had asthma. Hell, her hand didn’t work as well as before too where she constantly dropped items in the affected one. She hated how everything ached and was in pain. 

Before long it was night and Tara was staring intently at the door, not sleeping at all. She stayed awake the entire night, staring intently and startling at every noise in the apartment. She didn’t even get a drink at all and every time she went to the bathroom she kept the door open. It was in direct eyeline of the door after all. She was keeping herself on the couch though. She was aware of the footsteps, the noises. She tensed whenever she heard boots, reaching for her asthma and taking a puff before she became even more vulnerable.

The only thing she wasn’t doing was taking her pain medication, her anxiety and depression meds too as well as her drugs for paranoia. She was more worried about Ghostface coming, getting more and more paranoid the more she didn’t sleep… 

The second day wasn’t too bad. However, the second night was the worst. She was starting to hallucinate due to not sleeping for close to 48 hours at that point. Her anxiety spiked each time she heard boots. She even thought she saw Ghostface in the window, ignoring the fact that no one would be there due to the apartment being on the 20th floor. Safe to say the glass was broken after she punched it, fear coursing through her veins. Her hand was bleeding but she didn’t care at that point. She was just wanting Sam back and wanted to feel safe. She was scared of Ghostface coming back… 

It was around midday of the second day when it all changed though. Tara, still staring at the door intently heard the sound of heels. She whimpered almost immediately as she was holding the gun up. It was around head level for an average adult. Hearing the door get unlocked, she also tensed up. It didn’t even hit her it was someone she knew until the door opened. Gale was standing there and immediately ducked when Tara hit the trigger out of fear before she saw who it was. She sighed in relief then fear when she realised what she had done. Her only saving grace was that the gun was on safety. 

“Hey, Tara. You ok?” the older woman spoke gently, sitting next to her. Tara at this point was hyperventilating, a panic attack coming on. Gale quickly grabbed the small girl’s inhaler and put it into her mouth. “It’s ok, it’s just me. It is ok. Take a few puffs and then breathe with me, ok?” she instructed. Tara nodded, doing as told. It took about 10 minutes before Tara was mostly ok. Gale just held her gently, rocking her at times as well. 

“I’m sorry…” Tara finally spoke quietly, her voice raspy from no sleep and no drinks. 

“It’s ok, don’t worry. I understand your fear. Come on, let’s go to the kitchen and get some food. We will need to clean your hand too,” she responded gently. 

“No… Don’t feel well…” she whimpered. Gale looked at her. 

“Come on,” she spoke gently. “I’ll get you your favourite food and some water. How about that?” she offered. Tara was about to protest but Gale carried the smaller girl, her being quite light for her age. She also got her some medication out, knowing that she wouldn’t have taken it. It was proven as well when Tara kept looking towards the door, panicking when it was out of sight. “Ghostface might come!” Tara was quick to yell in a panic. “Hey, honey, it’s ok,” Gale reassured as she was quick to get her some water and handed her some pills. “Take your medication then we can grab your stuff and you can stay with me,” Gale informed, making a ham sandwich for the girl. Tara did as told, wanting to protest but she knew that Gale was determined when she needed to be and she was determined here. 

As soon as she was done, Tara ate and got some clothes packed as well as one of Sam’s hoodies that she had worn before she left. Gale would’ve protested but she knew that the girl felt safe around Sam. She was thankful once they left without worries. Tara did have to bring a nailbat though just in case, that being the compromise for no guns. Gale was just happy Tara was going to hers with no issues. She would text Sam later to say she had Gale too.

-

It was the third night that Sam was gone but Tara wasn’t alone now. She was cuddled up against Gale as she was much more relaxed. She was even eating which she wasn’t doing when she was alone. She was not even glancing at the door now. She kept falling asleep though but Gale never woke her up. She knew the girl didn’t sleep at all while she was home alone.

She hoped that Tara would be ok after a while, she was sure that Tara would be independent in the future, but for now, she wasn’t able to do as much as she wanted to. For now, she would care for the girl whenever Sam would need to go. She wanted both sisters to be successful.

[queerlordsimon]

Worthwhile love

Prompt list 2, prompt 37: “im sick of being USELESS”

Cw:chronic pain, feeling worthless, struggling with pain, comforting 

An:sorry ive been gone so long, im trying to be back. Also apologies if idia is out of character, this is a comfort for me mostly and i thought it worked decently for him in this situation. Word count: 650

y/n struggled to walk from the cafeteria to idias dorm. They always did this for idia, getting him something real to eat. Its just what they would do as his partner. And normally it was not a problem.

But today was not a normal day. Today was a day their chronic illness decided to flare up, and it was all they could do not to be curled into a ball in their bed all day. They had things to do after all. 

Take care of grim.

The furball wasent making it any easier on them today, running loose around campus. Thankfully for y/n deuce and ace were willing to help chase him down for them. 

School work.

They struggled to even sit up straight in class, which didnt go unnoticed, but thankfully for them epel and jack caused a problem on purpose to help them avoid the trouble for it. 

Now their simple task that they did every day out of love for their boyfriend was gonna be the end for them, they thought as they held the walls as they struggled to stay upright, tears running down their face. 

They got pretty far before their legs gave out just inside the entrance to ignihyde, crying out softly as they made sure not to drop the food. 

Ortho had heard them, before zipping over to where he located them to be. “y/n l/n! Are you ok?” they shook their head in response. “I will get big brother y/n l/n, stay right there!” he said before zipping away, as y/n tried to stand back up, gripping the railing tightly as they heaved themselves back up, tears streaming down their face in pain as the pain got worse, but they tried to push through.

They didnt get too far before idia could be seen hurrying down the hallways with ortho in tow behind him. “Player two, are you alright?” he asked softly, his concern trumping his nerves as ortho took the food away from them, so idia could help them stand, wrapping his arm underneath theirs. 

“Im fine idi,” they protested, gritting their teeth in pain, but unable to fight the help idia was giving them. Ortho darted to idias room ahead of the two, as they slowly made their way to it. 

After they were both safely in his room with the door shut, idia walked them over to his bed where he had y/n sit, who was crying in both pain and humiliation. “Player two, whats the problem?” he said softly. 

“Im sick, idi, im so sick” they cried into their palms, hiding their face, “sick of being in pain, sick of being so weak. Im sick of being USELESS” they cried quietly, as idia crouched and hugged them to him. 

“Your not useless, player two, your one of the most strongest and useful people i know” he said softly. “You deal with this chronic illness on a daily and deal with all of this schools bull. So your having a bad day, but that doesnt mean your useless. You should take a day for yourself. Here.” he said softly pulling away, making them lay down with their head on his pillow, getting them a heating pad to help if it would and laying a blanket over them. “Ill email your teachers. You stay here and rest, alright? Ill be here for anything you need” he said softly, hesitating before kissing their forehead shyly. “Let me know if you need anything, alright?” y/n nodded softly, grabbing his hand softly and squeezing it.

“Thank you idi, i love you” idias face softened. 

“I love you too, player two. Rest now, my worthwhile love” he said softly, as y/n closed their eyes, and he went and sat down, keeping an eye on them and keeping his electronics quiet for them to rest.