#btw i'm not aspec

[am3ya]

the issue with shipping aro/ace characters isn't putting them into relationships, it's the fact that no one adds how their sexuality impacts the relationship at large. And how it'll always be different from your average romantic relationship in some way.

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

[cosmicredcadet]

I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.

The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.

[aroromantic]

This is what being an aspec Goemon and poly Lupgang truther feels like btw

Bonus Zenigata Version:

[anistarrose]

Asexuality can be about more than just sexual attraction and lack thereof. There have historically been multiple avenues to asexuality.

First of all: of course, you don't have to identify as ace if you're sex-repulsed/sex-averse, but feel like your attraction has something else going on that's important to you. And of course, you can identify as ace if you're sex-favorable, but feel like your lack or near-lack of attraction is important to you too. Nothing I am about to say negates those things.

However, for some people, sex aversion/repulsion is the most important factor in falling under the mantle of asexuality. The most important factor in resonating with the language of asexuality, finding a home in the asexual community, and considering asexuality both an identity they can take pride in, and use to communicate their experiences.

As useful as it can be to describe and discuss sexual attraction, said sexual attraction is ultimately a social construct that may be impossible to parse, uncomfortable to parse, inapplicable, and/or irrelevant to many on the asexual spectrum. Many of us active in the asexual community are familiar, either firsthand or secondhand, with how slippery the concept of sexual attraction can be — the turtles in ponds metaphor, the search for something you're not sure you even know the shape of. What's the boundary between attraction and non-attraction, between sexual and sensual and aesthetic?

Really, should something so slippery and confusing be the only metric we're allowed to define ourselves by? I argue it can be useful for many, but should never be a requirement — and personally, it's not how I define myself. I identify as asexual in part because the question of "Do you experience sexual attraction?" is fundamentally impossible for me to answer. An intractable problem, which I reject the need to answer or solve in order to know myself as a person.

Moreover, asexuality has a long history, serving as a useful term and community to ace-specs with a wide variety of experiences with attraction, desire, and action. While the "Non-Libidoists" of the early 2000's were by no means correct that a lack of interest in sex/masturbation should the only avenue to an asexual identity, they highlight that aversion and indifference to sex have been many people's reason to find a home in asexuality, throughout much of that term's usage.

Multiple avenues to asexuality are possible, and that goes both ways. Asexuals who have or want to have sex need to be welcomed and cherished, but positing that "little to no sexual attraction" is the only valid definition of asexuality is an overcorrection — and an alienating, exclusory overcorrection at that.

[kendraws]

Big ol' Xavier image post! I need to draw this fella again when I have time! He's... SILLY... (Oof some of these are so old!! You can tell how his design changed the more I drew him- especially that snoot!)

[enbyman]

About the "love loses" discourse

One thing that enlightened me about this subject was realizing that people who don't think twice before declaring love a revolutionary feeling probably don't understand how to reject love it can be liberating. Not only for the aspec community, but also for neurodivergent people and anyone else who has been dehumanized for not feeling love properly or not feeling love at all. Believe me, rejecting society's idea of love is as liberating as changing the world through love. Considering love as this inherently potent and revolutionary force is not good for anyone. But it's terrible specifically for people who have been hurt in the name of love.

Okay, love is special to you. All good. Take it and transform the world your way. Just don't impose it on everyone. Because not everyone has this wonderful relationship with love. Not in a society that dictates how we should feel and punishes us if we don't follow the golden rules. Not in a world where people use a theoretically positive feeling to hurt other people.

Respect loveless people. Listen to us. You cannot change the world by neglecting and throwing away the parts of humanity that you don't like or aren't like you. Our criticism of love is not the demerit of your love.

(And before someone say "BUT LOVE WINS HAVE THIS HISTORICAL VALUE–" meu anjo i know I study my own community, thank you very much. I know about all this, that's not the problem. We are not denying this historical value or importance. "Love loses" is a response to having love imposed on us, especially in times of pride. Where even companies make it seem like being queer is all about “love wins”. When, it is not true at all.

And to those who are suggesting "platonic love wins" or any alternative, please go read the definition of loveless again ☠️)

[aq2003]

(@variousqueerthings he's so melodramatic and sad. it's soooooo </33)

[transcript:

"i said. i was fine. fine about you leaving. aand.. i'm not. so many of you have come and gone, i never get used to it, think i would've done by now but-but-but. No... just when i think it's all going well, we'll be together forever, you're wandering off to go save another universe or get married—how do you lot fall in love so quickly?"

"well, funny you should say that—"

"i just don't get it. but ehhh, short lives, i suppose. still, so long as you're happy, and you're with the right man, and—he is the right man? Eeehhh—yEs he is yes he is 'course he is, of COUrSe he is, and i mean, i mean, well, no man is gonna be good enough for my donna but YES yes [inhales] off you go! every time, one of you leaves. i'm not ready! i never am, you lot. uuUUhgh. [deep breath]. every one of you, a heartbreaker—"

"that's why you've got two of them, stupid. listen—"

"yeah, i suppose, but it doesn't... make it any easier, you all leave... even the robot dog left me. twice!"

"alright, doctor, i am trying to—"

"and another thing! the universe just never gives me a break! a chance to lick my wounds, a spa day, maybe? but aw, no, Giant Cloud Of Alien Death. well, fine. i'll sort that out. [inhales] one more thing. so many more things. never NEVER never ends."

/end transcript]

[discoelysco]

I'm still mad so I made some banners lmao

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Aroace monsterfucker Gerry Keay. Reblog if you agree I need to know if anyone else sees the vision.

[alicornze7]

Man i sure love being ace

[automatonwithautonomy]

I have decided it is physically impossible to be a detective and not aspec. Oh you solve crime? You like mystery?? BAM! Aspec.

[bazkrekkerbrokemyshin]

soc headcanons because i have an intense need to project onto all my favorite characters :-)

Ace Kaz and Inej and/or they're just friends

Jesper loves bowling

Kaz has a bad hip (i always imagine it as the right one, cuz he's just like me fr)

Jesper has tics (mainly triggered by excitement) (would give examples but don't want to trigger anyone) (it's me, i'm anyone)

*Aggressively points at Kaz* THIS BABY CAN HOLD SO MUCH AUTISM

GNC Kaz but he still only wears fancy business suits. If he wasn't such a drama queen and he had a reason to, he would wear other shit like long skirts with pants underneath

[venacesaur]

where's that one post about how it's extreme mode to headcanon a character as aroace when they're part of a really popular ship....so true. especially when you headcanon both characters in the ship as aroace

[maerhiya]

sometimes "don't give up" doesn't apply to every situation!! (stop pursuing someone who has already rejected you and has never shown any signs that they've changed their mind)

[science-lings]

I just need people to give me fanfic to read bc I can't last a few pages of scrolling on ao3 without nearly losing my mind, one of the hardest things about dipping your toes in a new extremely well-established fandom is that there's already a billion fics out there and impossible to sift through them all to find the ones I can enjoy.

Anyway, if there are any Ace Attorney/ Wrightworth fic blogs or rec lists or just any fics that anyone wants to share, let me have it, I beg for it, please I'm going to go insane